#anyway i think people also forget that op of that one post going around talking about this

[maxellminidisc]

I think some white trans people have a hard time coming to terms with the whole asian fetishization as a form of gender expression thing because I guess sometimes it's a source of idk "comfort" in a very confusing time but like it's not remotely a good excuse let alone a source of much empathy from me. Cause like as a poc who enjoys anime and frankly a lot of east asian media, I get how being presented with the idea that different gender expression than what we're used to in American culture can be very eye opening for a young trans person or even someone well into adulthood who's just coming to terms with their identity as a trans person, but I'm also conscious and try to remain conscious that that gender presentation, the perceived room to play with gender in a different way than what we know is different for people across cultures and even though I grew up in the US I've been made to feel very hyper conscious and conflicted about my own gender, both assigned and not, because of the way my ethnic culture's ideas of gender are perceived by white people.

Like take comfort from the idea that the option to express your gender in ways outside our own cultural pressures and presets exists, sure, but again, be conscious that the PEOPLE (and frankly, characters) you're seeing are rooted in a completely different set of cultural influences, rules, and standards within those societies that effect their gender presentation. Many times it may look gnc to you but to someone else who's actively living this sort of gender presentation or ease of playing with it, it may not be gnc at all and you reducing it to how you feel as someone outside that culture may end up being emasculating or forcing masculinity on someone who sees themselves as completely masculine or as feminine in a context outside of your western standards of either identity. Unless someone or even the material you're viewing within these respective cultures personally or actually notes that what they're doing is gender non conforming or experimentally challenging gender norms within their own cultural norm, then like yeah respecting that and acknowledging that is fine, but like don't be weird about it!!

And like same applies to characters, which I find ludicrous that y'all try to divorce so staunchly from their respective cultural origins. Like anime for example is like 90% of the time based in Japan or worlds very obviously based on Japan, or in Japanese stories/folklore/history, but the excuse is always "I think equating real people with anime characters is ridiculous cause Japanese people dont actually look like that". Like nobody is saying they do but they clearly are writing and creating things thoroughly through their respective Japanese lense and thus so much of it feels so inheritly Japanese. Only time I see white people acknowledge the Japanese root of something is if the damn anime or manga is a fucking period piece in like the Edo period or something, which is ridiculous.

Then to take it further and base your own sexual desirability of this western gaze of thinking all things Asian are inherently gnc is even weirder and yes, more racist. You're basing your sexual desirability on a fetishized and eroticized form of racism, more specifically a lense that always tries to frame Asian bodies as something purely for the sexual and submissive and not wholly human. Asian media isn't trying to like purposefully sell Asian fetishization to you, it's simply operating through it's own lense, even the sexual shit it is producing isn't like selling Asian fetishization, it's just selling the sexual through the lense of its respected culture (like what is popular in the sexual fantasy there for example); the racism on your part comes from viewing it as someone not Asian and thinking that just because its Asian it's either inherently sexual or if it is something sexual in nature, feeling entitled to Asian bodies; both in their purpose to you as sexual objects and as fetishizing them as something desirable for you to look like for the way you shittly perceive these bodies as inheritly feminine or androgynous.

White people as a whole have a massive problem with fetishizing Asian people but it is like alarming as a trans poc to see white trans people as a whole kind of turn that on its head as a form of gender goals or to make themselves feel sexy or whatever and the fact that y'all dont see anything wrong with that is even wilder. There is absolutely a huge difference in acknowledging and even appreciating a different perspective on what masculinity and feminity can look like in a different cultural context and thinking that anything that isn't what YOU'RE used to being inheritly gnc as a result.

I do think it's important to note that framing this problem as a trans femme mainly issue IS shitty and undoubtedly transmisogynist in nature, especially given that I've seen PLENTY of white trans masces doing the exact same shit with very little pushback. Like the amount of trans men I've seen basing their androgyny on idols or anime characters they label as "f*mb*ys" or even calling any remotely twinky asian guy (or hell not even, I've seen yall misgender Asian men of all shapes and sizes) a f*mb*y or labeling him with usually unwarranted or derogatory labels for feminine men (ie fruity, queen, diva) is fucking vile. White trans people as a whole need to be holding each other and themselves accountable for this shit.

[animehouse-moe]

Skip and Loafer Episode 9 Part 1: Drowsy (and Peppy)

Forget being a good episode or even a great one, this episode of Skip and Loafer was two great episodes in one. Divided into an A and B part that flow into one another seamlessly, but each address their own separate pieces, it's more than a treat to watch, it's an incredible example of storytelling within the frame of high school life.

⚠️Notice: This episode has been split into 2 posts because of length and image limits. This is the A Part post - Drowsy (and Peppy). The B Part post, subtitled (Drowsy and) Peppy, can be found on my blog if you haven't come across it yet.⚠️

Where do I even begin? The first half is dedicated to Mitsumi's longing for home and the comfort she feels in returning from Tokyo, but the second half examines how Mitsumi's changed since she originally came from her hometown, and how the people around her have changed and grown as well, while Shima remains under lock and key. It's just an incredible approach to the story that almost inserts a prologue with Mitsumi's return home so that it can prep viewers for the latter half of the content. It's tight, it picks all the right moments to focus on, and it never loses sight of what it wants to do. In short, it's beautiful.

It's so wonderful that I really don't want to organize my thoughts on it, but at some point or another I really have to get down to it if I want to say anything worthwhile, but I'll let Shima speak the first words.

He said the thing! He said the starting lines to the opening song, and I think that's so incredibly cute. Whether or not the pair really realize what they feel for each other is inconsequential, because their words and actions speak so incredibly loud it's wonderful. Also also, Mitsumi's dress in the opening? It's a simplified version of the dress she wears in today's cold open.

Side note, in the actual JP dialogue he says 'zutto mabukushite', it's just that in translating it to English they add a subject to his sentence. Because of that, it's far closer to the lyrics for the OP, which just use 'mabukushite'. So yeah, incredibly cute call back(s) that has me super giddy about it.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand, starting from the beginning. This episode adds (or really removes) a very unique piece to it: the soundtrack. It's substituted for really incredible sound design that does its best to capture the environment as candidly and as detailed as possible, and because of that the soundtrack doesn't exist. The first music you hear in the episode comes from the opening song, as we follow a cold open of Mitsumi making her way back home. Hell, we don't even hear Mitsumi talk in this sequence. Such a bold approach but it pays off in droves.

Which I love by the way, it sets the tone for the first half incredibly well in speaking to the themes of "memories" and nostalgia. We're not shown the whole ordeal in detail, but rather in bits and pieces that are pasted together one after the other, like a collage being plucked from Mitsumi's mind. Also, it sets up a really cool callback/comparison later in the episode.

It's quite the adventurous approach, but I absolutely adore how it speaks to Mitsumi's character. How reserved and quiet she is by herself, and that that energy she has comes from the people that are around her. Also, I really like this little piece showing the "flight" starting and stopping via the seatbelt signs. Another really benign piece of direction but it adds a palpable sense of creativity and passivity in Mitsumi's journey back home.

God I could go on forever about this. About how the view of the cityscape transitions into looking out over the clouds as Mitsumi's mind wanders through the experience, before switching once more into the lush and green terrain beneath her as she heads to her hometown. Or about how of all the scenes/sequences in this cold open, the longest one is Mitsumi staring out excitedly at the scenery when she lands back near her hometown. It's telling a story through Mitsumi's memories and I'm so completely in love with it. What I love most about this last bit though is that we don't see the scenery through Mitsumi's eyes for it. We see her reaction to it, but we're missing the first person perspective that the cold open flirts with through scenes like her flight.

After the opening however, Skip and Loafer gets back to its core as it resets the vibe with a fun little joke from Mitsumi. Also, it's the first scene to make use of the OST, and it's for comedy's sake. I'll get it out the way now, but mild spoiler, the comedy is the only place the OST is really used this episode. There's bits and pieces through the A part, but the vast majority is only supplemented by stellar sound design.

Also, you would have guessed it from earlier in the episode, but space and scale are really played up through this A part, and I do quite enjoy it. It takes simple and almost filler scenes and creates something more unique and stylized to better fit the episode. Also, faceless characters appear quite frequently through this A part which I found interesting.

Similarly, I love how P.A Works and Deai have been using obstructions and depth in their environments. It's a really simple piece, but like I've said before, it adds awareness to the world that exists outside of frame and focus for viewers. It gives you context clues like, "hey, the camera's in a hallway right now isn't it? I guess they're in a room off the main entry", and things like that, and does it while providing really appealing pieces that can help narrow your focus in the scene.

They use a similar approach in the environments as well. They provide something that's lived in, that characters exist and thrive in outside of what they're presented as or used for. Just take a look at these two images. The first is a super simple pieces for sure, but the use of a small stool/seat on wheels really speaks to the grandmother's involvement in the garden. Similarly, the watering can helps with that as well, plus the flowers in the background.

Now the second image is the piece that I really love because its a totally unnecessary piece, but I appreciate it an incredible amount. The tree's been trimmed! You can see where limbs have been cut off and new growth is beginning on the tree. What a completely benign piece to the art, but such a creative and impactful addition nonetheless. Absolutely love the detail and effort placed in this sort of stuff.

And lastly, I love how they render shadows and light in this scene, breaking up the light through the leaves of the tree just creates such a satisfying pattern and texture to the environment.

Moving forward once more, I really do like the use of montages/slideshows in this episode through that theme of memories. It's able to present so many pieces and stories that we wouldn't get to see otherwise.

Okay okay, speeding things up, Mitsumi and Fumi. I love how cute and wholesome their friendship is, and I love how they use that first person perspective again to drive home the incredibly strong emotional bond that the pair share.

Okay I said to speed things up but I can't, I love seeing the nervous emotions creep across Fumi's face before she tells Mitsumi about her boyfriend. It's so incredibly cute and well done.

Also, P.A Work's favorite thing, shadows and reflections! Love the detail in the water as the pair cross over the bridge.

Okay okay okay, the last piece I promise, I just absolutely love this scene and what it personifies.

So what is it, really? It's Mitsumi's nostalgia. Being at home, eating watermelon while her mom does the dishes and the cicadas chirp outside. That feeling of comfort as the wind blows gently, coaxing the slightest sounds out of the wind chimes. Remembering all of those places you've been, and that you want to visit again. Mitsumi eating that watermelon, seeing her mother, hearing those sounds, they brought back all those memories of the past for her. It's so, so incredibly beautiful and speaks so loud to the feelings of home. That no matter how far away you may travel, it's still there waiting for you.

Also, callback time! I had said it earlier and this is what it's for. It's a pretty cut and dry comparison of Mitsumi's life in Tokyo vs her hometown, really. Though you might be able to stretch it and talk about the differences in colors, as Tokyo's blue while her hometown is so bright and colorful by comparison. But at the end of the day, it just speaks to the two experiences Mitsumi has between her homes. How in Tokyo she has to get up bright and early to make the train to get to the airport in time, while in her hometown she's able to wake up nice and late and laze around eating watermelon. The city versus the country bumpkin, and I think it's a really sweet little touch to the episode.

At the end of it all, this was an incredible stretch of episode content. Start to finish, just so well polished and approached that I could gawk at the whole part for days and still find more and more pieces to pick out and even more words to describe it with. But, you don't need all that to really get the emotion across. This first half is Mitsumi's memories, her fondness of returning home after a long time away, of melting back into the comfort of her family and hometown friends, and the nostalgia that comes with retracing the steps of her youth. Just beautiful stuff.

Now unfortunately, I've hit my image limit for a single post, so I will be following up with a B part for those interested in the latter half of the episode where Mitsumi returns to school in Tokyo.

If you're looking for the second part, here's a link to it for you!

[azriona]

No your tags on that "being a man" post are genuinely how I felt reading it and it's kind of a weird omission to it. I'm sending this as an ask because I'm not sure if OP is open to that particular addition (but they should be, it's a Problem with that post that they didn't consider it is what I'm saying), but I think the weird reluctance on a lot of this site with talking about misogyny and male privilege lately is getting people to forget that a woman saying "I want to be a man" is often saying something fundamentally different from a man saying "I want to be a woman." A lot of time what women really want is the privileges men have. And it's not just about deeply ingrained misogyny that tells them they can't do things they really can; there are still a lot of things men can do that women can't really. Whereas I think a man who is thinking a lot about how much he wishes he were a woman, it's a lot easier to conclude that he might in fact be trans.

I mean... yes and no. (Before I get into it: here's my reblog with the tags for those who missed it.)

I agree that the OP should have at least acknowledged that there's a shred of misogyny present in a woman who says "I wish I were a man but not a trans man," because yeah, internalized misogyny is absolutely present and alive and a really horribly destructive thing.

And absolutely: without knowing the motivation of the person saying it, it's impossible to know if the person is dealing with internalized misogyny or (and equally possible) transphobia, because both are likely scenarios. I don't want it to sound like I'm a TERF here; I'm not, I'm really really not.

But I don't think you can automatically assume that any woman who says that statement automatically wants to be a man, regardless of what caveats they stick after it. There are definitely women in the world who think that they can't do something because they are women, despite wanting to do the thing, and if they want to do the thing, then obviously they must want to be men. I have met these women. We have all met these women. Hell, go look up the whole tradwife nonsense if you don't believe me: those women 100% believe in societal gender roles, as horrifying as that is.

(There's a reason why people who transition do it in stages: you're trying it out, deciding if it's really the right fit for you. And for most of them, it is. Yay! Happiness all around that you found your right you! Proud of you, friend! And for the ones who realize it's not the right path: yay! Proud of you for trying! Proud of you for admitting you want something different! Hope you find the happiness you deserve!)

But I disagree that it doesn't work both ways. If a women who says she wants to be a man means that she actually wants to do the things men do but still be a woman, then why assume a man who says they want to be a woman but still be a man not mean the same thing in reverse? We're back to gender roles again, and this time it's internalized misandry. Men can't be homemakers, caretakers, or raise the babies. (Except they can.) Men can't be nurses or elementary teachers or makeup artists. (Except they can.) Men have to go hunt and fight and lead instead of follow. (Except they don't.)

There is nothing a man can do that a woman can't. There is nothing a woman can do that a man can't. Including internalized misandry/misogyny. Period.

I 100% agree that someone who is interested in transitioning should be given every opportunity to transition, with full support to give it a go if they think that's right for them. And I'm saying that here because i don't want it misunderstood.

But I also think you can't assume that transitioning is the only response or the only path. It's not.

Trans men are men; trans women are women. But gender is a whole huge social construct anyway, and gender roles are made up piles of shit, so do whatever and be whatever makes you happiest.

And that's probably just as illogical as my first set of tags, but eh, I'm still working on my morning coffee.

[khalixvitae]

IT'S ME!!!

Who is vil. and what r some of ur favourite things about him!! :3 is he kind of like asmo in any way...

do u like co-op or competitive games more :0

I SEE U'VE MOVED.. Woah. quite a big change. what chara would u ask to help u move in and or who would u room with!

^ also how are ur new place and job going!!! hope ur taking care of urself friend 🫵🫂

NIANIANIANIA!!! ok so. Going bullet by bullet.

1: I am actually going to write. A dedicated text post to this comparison and explanation bc I’ve been thinking abt it all night (It is now early morning and I’m at work ::3) and I need to. Give this a thorough explanation and do them both justice bc I love asmo and Vil so much. So in short, yes but no but also yes??

Anyway Vil is the dorm leader of Pomefiore in the hit gatcha/jrpg/vn/sometimes rhythm tap/idek-what-else game Twisted Wonderland <3 . He balances his academics with an already prolific film career. In terms of my favorite things about him, I really appreciate his dedication to his goals and to the people around him. He’s thorough and meticulous and brilliantly adaptable. There’s. So much abt him that I admire actually <3 he’s also so well written it makes me want to eat sheet metal, he’s just one of the most human characters in the game and I’m obsessed w how his narrative dismantles the misconceptions about him as you play through his story. Also his general beliefs surrounding personal work ethic and growth really resonate w me!!! Anyway I fucking love him agh.

2: OUGHH I love. Competitive games. Co-op can be so fun but I’m shy sob. I don’t mind going head to head though, weirdly enough that’s more ??? Comfortable ??? Unsure of how that works!

3: I HAVE MOVED yes ! It is. A lot. I moved like. 2.5-3 hours from the city I lived in for the last FIVE YEARS so it’s been an ordeal but I’m much happier now! As for who I would ask to help move me in Ough,,, probablyyy Vil or Dan Heng. Vil would keep us on track (we are both obsessively thorough and organized) but he’d also make sure I ate real food during the moving process because I tend to forget to take care of myself when I’m trying to accomplish something. Dan Heng is also very mission/task oriented so I know we’d get through it very quickly and I don’t think we’d disagree on much. As for someone I would room with ,,, Ykw same answers actually <3

3: YES I love my new place and the new area ! Ive been here for about 3 weeks now and I’m so much happier in this city than in the last! I also have a new job that I LOVE ! <3 it’s a great time man I’m so happy I’m just trying to get back in the swing of things and get back on here bc I miss talking to you and my other mutuals sob

[haus-mom]

1,6,10 and 25

1. the character everyone gets wrong

i hate to be cliché'd but TSUKASA. i admit i used to be partly guilty of it before i realized that tsukasa isn't really empty inside, he keeps being a parallel to mafuyu by not only being actually full (? inside but being like. really full inside. tsukasa has several personas and he acts very differently depending on who he's interacting with and they're all sorta tsukasa to a degree but they're also not really? tsukasa please stop being worrying or be but have this acknowledged pls

anyway, people tend to portray tsukasa with no nuance at all, he's either a happy careless guy or so sad that he could put every N25 member combined to shame. as i said he's REALLY worrying but he genuinely really likes what he does and has passion and drive. he's just team "i can't be sad if i don't acknowledge i'm sad so i'll just leave the issue there until i forget it :)"

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

i am inclined to say kanade x mafuyu because i still genuinely can't see how they'd have a healthy romantic relationship, so when i see content of the ship while i'm on misc tags i'm like

and they make every single thing kanade does about mafuyu. i mean, canon already sorta does that, but even when it's not about that, they MAKE IT about mafuyu. do these guys even like kanade? do they see her as her own character? i wonder...

10. worst part of fanon?

TSUKASA ADOPTING EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER EVER. they took him saying toya is like a little brother to him (more on that later) and ran. a marathon. and a half. around the moon. and back.

are we forgetting this convo?

tsukasa only has one sister, and it's saki! toya tenma is a sweet sentiment, really, but that's where it should've stopped.

everything i've seen about kanade tenma is super mischaracterized too. i know they haven't talked much, but i feel like their dynamic wouldn't be like that at all if they were to live together. and i was right about the mafuyu-tsukasa dynamic way before they even met, which obviously means i'm always right (?

minori tenma is the least frequent, minori shinonome is something i've seen a lot and that i don't really get either, like, is it because minori's hair is brown-ish? is it? and what about minori tenma? is it because tsukasa cheered her up that one time? i'm the first one asking for more actual leadersquad interactions, but hc-ing them as siblings just because of that...

people who go "yeah minori tenma/shinonome real because she's marrying tsukasa/saki or akito/ena" are the backbone of this fandom

25. common fandom complaint you're tired of hearing

please stop treating toya x tsukasa/saki shippers as if they're the scum of the earth i promise you they're perfectly good ships

i feel like i say this a lot but just because tsukasa sees toya as a younger brother, it doesn't mean that toya feels the same. he has never said it in the game (afaik) and he actually changes the subject rapidly whenever tsukasa mentions it. saki has never said anything regarding seeing toya like that, so it's safe to say he's just a childhood friend to her.

speaking of! i've also seen people proclaim that nene and rui are "sibling coded" which. doesn't make sense either? like if you see them like that, it's fine! same with toya tenma and the rest of the sibling hcs, don't let this rando on the internet stop you, i'm not the biggest toya x tsukasa fan myself, but one thing is that and other is going around people's posts policing what they do or don't post. i don't think you're going to get anything more than annoy the op, really.

really curious that i've never seen people say this about leo/need! i wonder why! except this one time someone asked if it was okay to ship shiho and honami because of that one 1koma where shiho almost calls honami "sis" which is also its own can of worms

can we bring back ship and let ship i miss ship and let ship

anyway, thank you for the ask!

[tossawary]

In regards to Shangjiu, why Original Shen Qingqiu could appeal to Shang Qinghua is more immediately obvious. He’s a tall, gorgeous, icy asshole with his own flavor of abandonment and trust issues. That’s kind of Shang Qinghua’s type. (Shen Qingqiu probably has some beef under those fancy robes, being an accomplished cultivator, though I don’t imagine him being anywhere near as incredibly built and heavy as Mobei-Jun. Mobei-Jun has beef beef.) 

So, it’s like, okay, why would Shang Qinghua ever appeal to Original Shen Qingqiu? Shang Qinghua is more average-looking as far as cultivators go and, more importantly, he’s a fucking clown. 

But you could ask that question about Mobei-Jun too. Why would Shang Qinghua ever appeal to Mobei-Jun? And I think the answer is actually pretty similar. Not exactly the same, of course, because Mobei-Jun and Original Shen Qingqiu are pretty different, but still remarkably similar: I think that it’s in part because Shang Qinghua is a fucking clown. 

Shang Qinghua has no issue with looking or acting pathetic. He will wail and sob and beg at a moment’s notice. (Which actually comes back to that “Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe are... the same...” rant I’m still brewing. Neither of them seem all that bothered by humiliation. They have their own sense of internal worth/superiority and have no issue embarrassing themselves to manipulate other people and get what they want. Time to cry like a bitch? Bro, you’re making me do this; it doesn’t have to be this way! Airplane Bro just doesn’t have the super OP protagonist powers as backup for that.) 

Mobei-Jun and Shen Jiu are, especially by comparison, extremely concerned with appearances and specifically with appearing dignified. I think to some extent they would both actually envy Shang Qinghua’s ability to disregard (ignorance, sometimes? But also he doesn’t really give a shit) for social norms and/or expectations. Shang Qinghua has no room to judge Shen Jiu when he’s behaving like that, which kind of makes him safe. 

You know that hilarious 1999 Toyota Corolla Craigslist post? That’s kind of Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky in this situation. 

This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.

Shang Qinghua isn’t going to judge you like fucking Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge other people would. Shang Qinghua is like a judgement-free zone to some extent. He’s safe. You could embarrass yourself in front of him and it’s fine because Shang Qinghua is going to shove his foot into his mouth immediately afterward and allow himself to be bullied into “forgetting” it ever happened. 

At the same time, Shang Qinghua clown act is pretty clearly at least partially an act, at least if his terrible muttering habit and occasional bouts of spectacular competence are anything to go by. If Shang Qinghua was a 100% genuine fool instead of a clown putting on a show (who is occasionally a genuine fool), then Shen Jiu (and Mobei-Jun) wouldn’t be able to respect him. 

Shang Qinghua can also be a straight-up bitch, a bastard, and an asshole. (I still hold the headcanon that Mobei-Jun honestly thinks Shang Qinghua is very funny.) Shang Qinghua can have a sharp tongue sometimes and bite back viciously - or at least bark back viciously - which is another thing Shen Jiu can probably respect. Shang Qinghua doesn’t put on airs about being better than anyone or noble and righteous. He talks shit properly. 

Shang Qinghua is also pretty reliable. He’s steady and supportive. He’s also cool with laying on the flattery to soothe any fragile egos! And he’s apparently cool with being bossed around and rescued! 

So, on that post where I was talking about Shang Qinghua seducing Shen Jiu through stories of bad or comedically disastrous sex stories for my Shangjiu Friends with Benefits AU, why would Shen Jiu find that appealing?! 

It’s because Shang Qinghua is clearly observant, wryly funny, knows a lot about sex, uninterested in romance, and also uninterested in pushing his partner around in an unpleasant way. (I think Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe both like being in control of the situation, but that they also don’t mind giving up control or giving over at least some control to their partners.) Also, clearly, Shang Qinghua is desperate and pathetic and has low standards, which makes him “safe” for someone looking for some no-strings experimentation and relief. 

He’s also not... not cute? 

Also, he’s the one who brought up all those sexual acts in great detail - incredibly graphic detail - so now they’re stuck in Shen Jiu’s head. 

Shang Qinghua needs to take responsibility for that. And then tell no one that this ever happened - anyway, no one will ever believe him and also Shen Jiu will kill him. If it’s bad, Shen Jiu can also just kill him. 

Shang Qinghua: (internally) “Note to self: bro, stop getting hung up on beautiful assholes who are incredibly mean to me.” 

[witchqueenvisenya]

This is not my post, but the op has deactivated so here it is:

I was just thinking about something I’ve noticed and I wanted to address it, I suppose. And that’s about how Sansa’s character has been…idealized? by fans, here on tumblr and elsewhere.

Don’t get me wrong—I am definitely guilty of this. In fact, that’s what made me notice it in the first place. I was reading a Sansa chapter a few days ago and realized that my initial interpretation of it was way off, and that I’d totally changed things around in my head. And then I started reading other meta, and going back to other chapters, and things started to unravel.

In some of my metas about Sansa I’ve been on the defensive to the point of excess. This time I’m going to try to point out some things I’ve overlooked/gotten wrong/never addressed properly. I guess I’ll start with Arya and Sansa.

// arya and sansa’s relationship

Yes, they’re kids, and kids fight. And yes, no POV is entirely reliable. But still, Sansa was quite mean to Arya at times, and I think people ignore this in order to make Sansa look better. Which is ridiculous, because I don’t think Sansa is an evil person for being mean to her sister, anyway. I just don’t really like how some people make the situation out to be different than it was—as if Arya was always the one antagonizing Sansa. And sometimes when I see people trying to raise Sansa up, they end up pulling Arya down as they do so, simplifying (or blatantly misinterpreting) her storyline and character and making it seem as if Arya is less deserving of critical attention than Sansa is. I’ve totally done this myself.

Oh, while I’m remembering ways people have changed Sansa’s character— I’ve also seen people claim that Sansa was always warm and friendly with lowborn people, for instance. And I have absolutely no clue where this sort of thing comes from:

Sansa knew all about the sorts of people Arya like to talk to: squires and grooms and serving girls, old men and naked children, rough-spoken freeriders of uncertain birth. Arya would make friends with anybody. This Mycah was the worst…. Just the sight of him was enough to make Sansa feel sick, but Arya seemed to prefer his company to hers. (AGOT)

But back to Sansa and Arya. These two have a troubled relationship, and I’m pretty sure GRRM has said that they have their issues to work through. And I’ve actually seen people say things such as: “Oh, Arya is the one always going after Sansa, not the other way around.” Because I hadn’t read AGOT in forever, I went back and read some chapters to refresh my memory, and found that this just isn’t true. Sansa does go after Arya.

And she is capable of saying things that are rather cruel, even after taking into account that she’s so young. After Arya flings an orange at her during an argument (which was childish, yes) Sansa responds in a way that is nevertheless pretty damn harsh for ruining a dress:

“You’re horrible,” she screamed at her sister. “They should have killed you instead of Lady!” (AGOT)

And when Arya later offers to sew her a new dress, Sansa replies disparagingly. She also rejects her sister’s attempt to comfort her in a rather volatile way. I’m not pointing this out because I think Sansa is a monster (that would be ridiculous) but because it’s definitely true that she was pretty mean to her sister. I’m aware that Arya’s not blameless herself, but I think sometimes people forget that Sansa wasn’t always the picture of kindness and courtesy where Arya was concerned. And yes, I’ve seen people point out how Sansa covers for Arya a few times, and that’s awesome. But there’s still something sad about the way Sansa thinks this:

Why couldn’t Arya be sweet and delicate and kind, like Princess Myrcella? She would have liked a sister like that…. It would have been easier if Arya had been a bastard, like their half brother Jon. (AGOT)

I don’t know—it’s just sad to me, I guess? Perhaps because she’s still thinking along similar lines in ASOS:

Sister. Sansa had once dreamt of having a sister like Margaery: beautiful and gentle, with all the world’s graces at her command. Arya had been entirely unsatisfactory as sisters went. (ASOS)

The impression I have is that Arya wanted to belong completely but ultimately decided she wasn’t able to. At the beginning of AGOT, she thinks:

It wasn’t fair. Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left…. Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household. (AGOT)

Which implies that Arya had tried to excel at the pursuits Sansa is so good at, and decided that she came up wanting in the end. That’s sad, too.

I think Arya and Sansa have some things to work out if they meet again. I do believe they’re a highly interesting pair and that their skills could complement each other’s in ways, but that it wouldn’t be a picture perfect reunion. I also don’t believe that they’re broken beyond repair, though. I mean, Sansa becomes pretty excited at the thought of potentially even seeing Jon in AFFC, and she hasn’t really spared him too much thought since we first met her. I think she would be incredibly happy to see her only sister. And I do hope these two meet again, I really do.

Another thing I’ve noticed wrt Arya and Sansa—making Sansa the “intellectual” side of the pair and Arya the “brawn”. Why do people do this? If it’s not apparent how intelligent Arya is to you then you must’ve been reading blindfolded. Reducing her to simple “muscle” is highly inaccurate. But anyway, onwards.

// “they wouldn’t have survived in each other’s place”

I totally disagree with this and I don’t understand why people are so adamant about insisting that both girls would have died if their situations were switched. Yes, I think Sansa would have died. I don’t see how she could be successfully disguised as a boy or weather the Riverlands. But I think Arya would have made it.

It’s true that both girls were put into the situation more aligned with their respective skills. I definitely agree with that. But to insist that Arya would die because she’d “go crazy” and try to kill Joffrey or something does not ring true to me at all. People like to say how Arya and Sansa are both survivors (and I agree), but then some are so quick to dismiss Arya’s survival capabilities, which I find kind of ironic. Because, I mean, if you look at the variety of situations in which Arya has survived—it’s pretty remarkable. And yes, she’s had help. But she’s done a lot on her own, too.

People seem to forget that Arya can put her head down and play the mouse. She did it in Harrenhal, after all:

On the road Arya had felt like a sheep, but Harrenhal turned her into a mouse. She was grey as a mouse in her scratchy wool shift, and like a mouse she kept to the crannies and crevices and dark holes of the castle, scurrying out of the way of the mighty. (ACOK)

Yes, it would be different in ways if Arya were in KL, very close to some of the people who end up on her kill list, but for a variety of reasons I really don’t see her winding up dead. Sansa, though? No, I don’t see Sansa surviving in Arya’s place at all. And that doesn’t make Sansa weak or stupid. I just don’t think there’s any way she would have made it, her being too difficult to disguise as a boy being one reason. But I know arguing these “what if” situations is fairly pointless so I won’t waste anymore time on it.

// “she lost her wolf”

This is a line that I’ve never been able to ignore. While I don’t believe that Sansa is necessarily “less of a Stark” because she lost her wolf, I definitely think it’s affected her.

"What’s wrong with the girl?”

Bran felt all cold inside. “She lost her wolf,” he said, weakly, remembering the day when four of his father’s guardsmen had returned from the south with Lady’s bones. (AGOT)

This line always worried me at the back of my mind, but it wasn’t until I read an interview with GRRM that I had any real confirmation. Of course, now I can’t find the interview, but he does indeed state that Sansa is a bit lost as a result of being separated from her wolf. “Lost” may not have been the exact word he used—like I said, I can’t find the interview—but it was something along those lines. Lady’s death was not a good thing (I’ve seen it painted in a positive sense for Sansa, but it seems that GRRM disagrees. He does add that Arya lost her wolf as well, IIRC, but I don’t think he meant that the situations are just the same. Nymeria is, after all, alive, and has a strong bond to Arya.)

What Lady’s death means for Sansa, I’m not exactly sure anymore beyond GRRM’s quote. (Which I actually just found again—the article is here. He states she is “a little adrift”.) It has weakened her in some way, however, and I don’t really think it’s something to brush off. Part of Sansa has died, after all.

// Sansa’s future

This is a sensitive subject, and I understand why. But I’ll be honest—I think some people ignore the fact that Sansa is walking a dangerous path. The other Stark kids are, too. GRRM has reportedly said the ending will be “bittersweet”, and that makes me a little anxious because when I really stop to think about it I feel like GRRM’s “bittersweet” is sort of heavy on the “bitter”.

And even ignoring that—Sansa’s chapters themselves do make me worried. She has the lovely snow castle scene in ASOS, which I do think is probably foreshadowing, and she seems to be closer to her northern roots than she was at the beginning of the series. But she also begins to identify more and more completely as Alayne, and thinks of Littlefinger repeatedly in an admiring fashion. She comes off as ultimately conflicted to me, as if her story could go in multiple directions, and argues with herself internally over her identity. And we’re left hanging, waiting on her response in her last chapter of AFFC. I think there is definitely a serious danger there. Littlefinger overestimates himself most definitely I think, but he’s also unfortunately quite skilled at some of his pursuits. He’s a predator, and Sansa? I see a lot of wavering in her most recent chapters—back and forth, back and forth. An example:

How could she doubt it? He had saved her.

He saved Alayne, his daughter, a voice inside her whispered. But she was Sansa too… and sometimes it seemed to her that the Lord Protector was two people as well. He was Petyr, her protector, warm and funny and gentle…. but he was also Littlefinger, the lord she’d known at King’s Landing, smiling slyly and stroking his beard as he whispered in Queen Cersei’s ear. And Littlefinger was no friend of hers. (AFFC)

I think most Sansa fans view this positively, but it kind of makes me uneasy. Besides the fact that she goes on to think “Littlefinger was only a mask he had to wear”, Sansa hasn’t grasped that there really is no great distinction between Petyr and Littlefinger—Petyr and Littlefinger are both horrible people. Petyr is not in truth “warm and funny and gentle”. She does think that she “would have fled them both, perhaps,” which is good, if a bit worryingly indecisive, but ends this inner monologue thinking miserably that she “has no true friend but Petyr”, and this does make me a little anxious. And the further you go in AFFC, the more she seems to trust LF.

I do believe that Sansa will best him in some way (the giant in the snow castle), and I believe that the other Starks will retain their identities. But that doesn’t mean that Sansa’s storyline isn’t going to take some further unpleasant turns. I think saying things like, “Sansa knows exactly what LF is up to and she’s not buying any of it” is wishful thinking. I reread her AFFC chapters again and I just don’t see it.

Sansa’s one of my favorite characters and I do think there’s a tendency to idealize her, which I think does her character something of an injustice and makes discussion less interesting. At least, that’s how I feel now, after thinking on it for a litle while/reading back. I didn’t go too much into Sansa’s personal flaws after all, and this whole thing is kind of a mess. But Sansa is a complex character and I think it would be worthwhile if her flaws or more ambiguous points were discussed more freely on here, like I’ve seen some other characters’ weaknesses analyzed. I know that people some off (and on) Tumblr treat Sansa like shit, but idk, I feel like discussion could be much more open, even though I suppose I didn’t address anything really controversial here.

[infernalrevenge]

A Self-Made Man (Karl Heisenberg Trans Headcanons)

(CW: mentions of gender dysphoria, misgendering, unsafe binding, and other unsafe transition practices.

Also, PSA: DO NOT try binding with bandages or duct tape. Use a proper binder that is correctly sized for you. Do not be like Karl here, who will eventually learn from his mistakes.

Anyway, enjoy!)

Figured himself out around the time he hit puberty, more specifically when he heard about what AFAB people had to go through during it.

Basically his thought process about it was "What the fuck? What the fuck?? I don't like this, I don't like where this is going, mission abort, MISSION ABORT--"

Had to deal not just with gender dysphoria but also the painful Cadou experiments Mother Miranda imposed on him. HOW FUN.

Even when he wasn't on the table being picked and prodded, when it was time to "go home" and recover, he could barely even look at himself without feeling like himself.

It was pretty much only by the time he was (physically) 15 that he had had enough. If he was going to suffer under the bird bitch, he better at least be seen the way he wanted to be.

He insisted on being referred to as a man, and wasn't afraid to correct anyone who either made a mistake or deliberately does so.

If they did it on purpose -- and he knows if they did -- then he starts yelling. Just fucking screaming. Very loudly.

If they keep trying to talk without using the right titles and pronouns, then he would yell over them. Repeatedly. Without fail.

He doesn't have full control of his magnetic powers yet so this was the best he could do. And it's not like anyone would dare to try anything physically with him, not with Miranda on "his side".

As soon as they get it right though, he's just quiet and nodding, though with a seething glare that said "Don't ever try me again, fucker."

It was very effective.

The huge baggy coat that he still frequently wears was sort of just his version of a "dysphoria hoodie". It did the job.

When he was younger, he got his hair cut short every chance he could. He thought it made him look more manly that way, and people would take him more seriously as a man with short hair.

Did a lot of dangerous things (unknowingly) while trying to medically transition on his own. It was mostly because he was too impatient to do actual research then.

Tried binding using the tough bandages the Benevientos kept around their house because he wanted his chest to be AS FLAT AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.

Moreau and Donna had to talk him out of it when they found out, only after he kept passing out during every family meeting since he started.

Donna instead gave him a proper binder when she did her own research on trans essentials. Karl thinks it doesn't get him as flat as the bandages did but at least he could breathe now.

He still wore it for days at a time though, which was also very terrible. He was incredibly lucky that his healing factor helped him not get fucked up in the long run.

Obtained testosterone from the Duke, who for some reason didn't question it, but without proper prescriptions so he just started injecting willy-nilly all because he did some cursory research about how it can masculinize bodies.

Once again had to be talked out of by the Duke and Alcina (back when she still cared about his well-being) when the former found out about what he was doing with it.

Was forced to see a doctor close to the village lest he lose his supply of boy goo.

Isn't afraid of injecting himself when necessary. One time he tried using his powers to do it with no hands. He almost missed and didn't do it again after that.

Has a few tattoos that inconspicuously also served as marks for his injection sites.

Definitely tried performing top surgery on himself. Alcina had to wrestle the scalpel out of his hands.

Like he was READY, he had an anatomy book on one hand, he had already marked on himself what and where to cut. He looked at a mirror and thought "okay titty go bye bye"

But alas, Alcina had to ruin everything. (She didn't ruin anything, Karl would've probably given himself an infection if he tried slicing himself open.)

In a way though, he found out that his "siblings" cared about him and how he approached his transition. It was kind of sweet.

Mother Miranda cares so little about Karl that him transitioning was no big deal at all. As long as she could still use him.

(He thought it was kinda funny but also sad that she had no regard for him whatsoever that she ended up indirectly supporting him instead. It was a weird way to look at it.)

When he finally did get surgery (safely and legally), his mutation helped him heal ridiculously fast. What would've been a few weeks of recovery and months of scar healing instead lasted just under a month.

Which was great for him because he wanted to get back on his feet as soon as possible. When he was up and running just two days after surgery and could remove the drains and post-op binder, the doctor was too bewildered to even speak.

Whenever he was alone in his factory, you bet your sweet ass he's shirtless 99% of the time. Dude didn't threaten a surgeon pay for surgery not to show off his nips.

Like most things in his life, his name was actually something he never thought of during his transition.

He didn't have that big of a problem with his deadname surprisingly, and he just kind of relied on everyone referring to him by his family name. Even Miranda only ever called him Heisenberg.

Though the thought of distancing his old self from his new self was appealing. Getting people to forget who he was before and being known as someone else, as who he was now -- yeah, that sounded good. So he decided on...

Karl.

Short, simple, and a name that pretty much no one could fuck up saying. It was perfect.

He rarely ever heard it when he was called, but finding it scrawled on Miranda's notes while he was snooping around one time almost... made him smile.

(Did she care? Or did she also just think it was easier to write than his deadname? Meh, oh well. Best not to dwell on it too much.)

Doesn't care for getting bottom surgery, but does want to get a hysterectomy. The potential for periods is always going to be a bitch.

Started growing out his hair when his beard was filling out. He thinks long hair is quite high maintenance though and he doesn't want it to get in the way of his work so it never goes past his shoulders.

Loves talking just because he loves how his voice sounds.

Proud of who he is and his journey to get where he is today. He only learned the term "transgender" recently, and once he did, he thought "Hey that's me!"

If anyone tries to be even the slightest bit disrespectful to him and his gender identity...

...they're getting thrown down the cellar with Sturm.

"It was your choice to be an ass, it was my choice to see you sliced to bits. Have fun!"

[bskarsgardlove92]

My Comic Con 2021 Winter experience

As some of you know, I also went to the German Comic Con Winter Edition on 04th December 2021. 

I told some of you via DM how it was, especially meeting Gustaf Skarsgård, now I share for everyone. As always under a read more.

This time I didn’t stay in a hotel in Dortmund. They were so expensive in December! I drove there very early in the morning and drove back home after the con. By train by the way. 

Anyway this con was much bigger than the one in September. This one was only a “Limited Edition”, only one hall and outside. The Winter Edition was in 7 halls. A hall for the autographes, a hall for the photo OP’s, a hall where you could eat etc.

I immediately went to the autograph hall and stood in line for Gustaf’s autograph. There were only like 4 people in front of me, so yay. I didn’t have a VIP ticket, just a normal one, so I was happy that there weren’t too many people yet.

The actors weren’t there yet, but came a little earlier than scheduled (I think the beginning time for the autographes was 11 am, they were around 15 minutes earlier). I was so excited to see them! I saw Georgia Hirst, Clive Standen, Alexander Ludwig, Travis Fimmel....and then omg Gustaf! Is this the real life?? Alex Høgh Andersen sadly sat too far away.

The four people in front of me were very quick, so I finally stood in front of him. He was soooo sweet!! I told some of you already, that he smiled a lot! Next to Gustaf was again a staff member and she wrote my name on a note, so that it was written correctly on the autograph. He saw my name and said it like a question. I answered, yes it’s an Italian name. He thought then I was Italian, I told him half Italian. He then asked if I lived around Dortmund. I anwered, that i had a three hour train ride and he was like Wow! I then told him how excited and happy I was that he was there. He looked at me and said that he’s happy to hear that. Yeah he signed the autograph for me and I wished him a good day. I’m a little sad that I was so nervous. I wanted to tell him how much I love his acting, his potrayal of Floki or Merlin. But cat got my tongue.

Later I took the photo with him. But these photo OP’s are always very quick. I nearly forget to take off my mask! (You were allowed to take them off for the pic).

As it’s December and I’m still only working half time til the end of the year, I couldn’t take more pics with other stars. I took one with Ashley Greene, as I used to be a big Twilight Fan.

I watched the Panels of Christopher Lloyd (It was so amazing to see a legend like him in real life! I love Back to the Future!), Ashley Greene and the Vikings Panel of course! It was so fun and entertaining! I’m so happy the panels are uploaded on youtube. So if you love Vikings, please check out the panels on youtube! You can contact me for the links.

Clive Standen seemed to be very sweet, he even hugged people at the autograph table! Also Travis Fimmel seemed to be fun. Whoever I talked to said, that he’s amazing. I met Alex in September, so I know he’s amazing ;) Georgia is very pretty! She sat next to Gustaf’s table, so I could see her very well. Alexander Ludwig also seemed very nice.

Many people said that Friday and Sunday were much more relaxed than Saturday. I even thought about driving there on Sunday. But I need the money for christmas presents and well, to live.

But it was a beautiful experience! My wish for the next con is, that all the Vikings actors come again, maybe an area just for Vikings (they did this for Pretty Little Liars or Riverdale before. You need to pay extra though).

I hope that I can drive again, preferably to Dortmund, that I can go more than only one day and I hope that some of you drive, too and that we can meet!

I already posted my Vikings Panel photos. In a reblog I add the link again!

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 14: So If You Put a Fraction Into a Duel Disk, the Card Explodes

We left on quite the cliffhanger last episode, so I’ll fill you in:

I did not get the haircut.

Like I seriously considered getting a Zigfried for a cool 3 or 4 minutes there, but then I decided to wait a couple of days and I basically forgot.

But, back to the arc finale, Seto has decided to walk, not run, to the Kaiba lab in order to fix the virus rapidly eating his entire company.

I just want to point out that Zigfried went through a LOT of work to get Seto Kiaba to go “uggggh” turn around, and pretend to calmly walk away. I’m used to Seto losing his nut kind of a lot and blowing things up but this season he’s like “be chill be chill be chill” so that the entire world doesn’t think he’s a spaz on TV.

And little aside about Seto’s design choices here, I fell down a hole of interior design videos, and can I just say: apparently these wood frame things on the wall are back in style? Good on you, 2002(3?) Seto Kaiba. Don’t think that current designers are painting them purple but...we’re halfway there to Yugioh fashion.

Meanwhile, Pharaoh decides to remind everyone that these stakes are hella low. The worst that happens is that Zigfried deletes the plane that Yugi needs to fly home...which would be an impressive virus.

Like it’s hard to tell if Yami even has a solid concept of “capitalism” and whether or not he cares about or understands the makeup of Seto’s company (which up till now has operated like a small country and not a business...which is a little more Pharaoh’s understanding. Either way...hard to tell if Yami would shed two tears for the loss of Kaiba corp.)

And, despite what I say in the caps, I feel like Leon and Zigfried are the first villains we’ve ever had that Yugi and Pharaoh didn’t unintentionally disclose that they are 2 people to. Zigfried and Leon are just...completely oblivious to how effed up Yugi’s bean is. They think that’s just a normal kid and lol no dudes...y’all got distracted by Seto Kabia but you have a literal Egyptian God just hovering around in the background and dating 3 people by accident.

Like when the show shelves the main storyline, it is very funny how it’s all “And we’re gonna put the Pharaoh crisis on hold--just put a pin in it. No one will notice this child is two nervous wrecks stitched together” and then Yugi and Yami just kinda hold it in and watch all patiently until it’s their turn to get off the bench.

(read more under the cut)

In the giant computer tower, Seto Kaiba shouts out a string of orders and numbers, admired the many sonar detector looking windows open on every monitor, and then sat down at his desk to like...check the firewall, I guess?

The virus is past the firewall. It’s um...it’s inside the firewall, pretty sure that was the point, but youknow, it’s a kid’s show so they’re just throwing out computer stuff that has no meaning to the writers of this show.

Mokuba thinks fondly of how Seto Kaiba has never screwed him over (which I mean...maybe not on purpose, ((except for that one time he did screw him over on purpose to get Gozaburo Kaiba to accidentally give Seto Kaiba the company, but you could say that was a grander scheme that he knew Mokuba would see through, which...)) but Seto certainly has screwed Mokuba over accidentally. At least once.)

And meanwhile, Yami fixes everything through card shenanigans.

So here’s the shenanigan this episode: I don’t go over cards here but this one requires a limited amount of explanation.

So every round the golden castle deletes half of Yugi’s cards. So he was like...I’ll just draw down to one card. They can’t delete half a card...so that means the card must delete one of the two cards on the field which means it must delete itself.

...which is like the closest Yugioh will probably ever get to abusing a glitch to do a speedrunning tactic like GDQ.

Anyway, like I stated in the title: there are no fractions allowed in Yugioh. If you do that to your priceless one-of-a-kind card you got from winning one of Pegasus’ murder tournies, it will irreparably bust the card.

I’m sure at least one of you will correct me with the proper way to insert a fraction into your duel disk. Cuz like...as I say multiple times so we never forget, I barely pay attention to this card game and I’m just flying by the seat of my pants.

I want to say Seto and Mokuba were in the hacker chairs for like...3 minutes maybe before they realized “oh...Yugi fixed it...” and walked the half a mile back to the duel arena.

and also, as I’m looking at Seto’s glasses here, I just realized...all of Kaiba’s team wears sunglasses all the time. Inside, outside, night, or day...

They haven’t outright said this...but what if those aren’t sunglasses?

Is Roland and that other Roland wearing fancy cyber glasses? They are, right? Because they wear them indoors?

Damn, they can’t take a piss without being on call with Kaiba Corp, can they?

Now the problem is...Yugi played all of his cards (he has two in front of him face down, but none in his deck) and after milling himself, this means he’s now basically a sitting duck for Leon to take the title of “King of Games.”

Leon insists that he defend whatever scraps are left of his card honor and not duel a person who is carrying no cards and Yugi was like “COME AT ME BRO THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I KNOW I’M ALIVE.”

He didn’t even have to do a horror on Leon, he just...played cards good? I skipped it, I’ll be honest, but overall Leon’s card honor was...saved? Maybe? I mean he also go destroyed when his competitor had not a single card in his duel disk so...

...Leon will have to work on his card honor off screen because he’s pretty well humiliated at this point.

But stumbling onto the playing field like he’s half dazed/daydrunk, Zigfried is like “You forgot I already won, bastards!”

Which is when we find out that Zigfried’s “delete all” virus failed to press “enter” and deleted basically nothing. Just like when my Mom attempts to send something in Gmail but doesn’t press “Send” and tells me that Google is down and broken.

Sorry my bro has informed me that he ALSO has had to help my Mother locate the “Send” button and I just...I know she absolutely did that but I’m in denial that this Riddle of the Sphinx has happened to her multiple times.

Honestly, the pep talk we get from Leon at the end to cheer up his bro was a whole lot of “we will pick ourselves up and we’ll do better next time. Together.” and sure you can translate that as “we’ll be honest next time” or you can translate that as “next time we will be not nearly as obvious about inserting a virus into their computer until it is done doing the job, bro.”

Just like Dartz, we didn’t really get a whole lot of retribution or closure when it comes to Zigfried. But, unlike Dartz, Zigfried didn’t do too much murder, so I guess this is fine. He tried to cheat in a card game...

...and I guess tried to delete Kaiba Corp but youknow...

...people let him have that. The police saw the ticket of “this man tried to delete Kaiba Corp” and they just...didn’t arrest him. The judge saw that ticket and didn’t put out a warrant. They just let Zigfried have this, almost like “better luck next time, ya?”

And then Roland clocked out for the day and went home, thus ending this arc.

Look at all these characters, most of which we never saw duel even one card.

We also got one shot of Mai for some reason although she was not in this arc.

AAAHHHH. Every time I’m like “the show is done screwing geography” we get another freakin geography spook!

But we went back to California in order to get a scene of these guys in an airport to get a flight to Japan...

which means Rex and Weevil just...were they shipped home by the Kaibas? Because way to ditch getting arrested by the American Government, hot damn. They are...literally terrorists who destroyed a Caltrain in a plot to kill everyone in the world so like...really surprised Rex and Weevil are in public...but maybe all the FBI were dead at the time so they just didn’t know?

Meanwhile, Duke has to go back to Death Valley and call a tow truck for his car, RIP.

I sure hope he got PTO during this stunt and isn’t going home to a pink slip.

I’m not sure of Dukes life or anything going on with Duke. I’m sure the thing about Serenity is him joking because we have all forgotten about that girl by this point...but also...is Duke...still living in the Tenderloin? The crime rate is very, very high and the ground isn’t solid, so it will liquefy if there’s an Earthquake, but it is one of the few places in the Bay Area that doesn’t light on fire every year. He has that going for him.

I just really hope Duke moves out of the Tenderloin one of these days, he needs a better life.

Meanwhile, Rebecca does one last crime.

This is like a post-epidemic reaction to a hug, but in 2002(3?).

I don’t think I’ll miss Rebecca too much. Wanted to like her more, but she was under-utilized, like most of the characters on Yugioh. Not even just talking girl characters here--most characters on Yugioh are super under-utilized, just Tristan Wallflowers doing nothing, but also being selectively OP as hell about very specific things they never, ever need to do.

Speaking of the devil:

Yugi...just saved his entire company...

But Mokuba is just has to make sure to make it seem like they owed Mokuba and not the other way around. Just in case.

So off they go on this massive plane. It’s probably more to do with the length of the trip as to why the plane is so big but also...

This plane is overcompensating.

But before we analyze that, lets close the book on Seto Kaiba’s very short therapy arc. Overall, it was a nice distraction, but I can see why people call it a filler arc, as it really doesn’t affect...anything going on in the major plotlines, which makes me think it could have been a movie or a game or something. But overall, it’s not bad, it’s just not what you’d expect if you were a Western audience.

Like I’m preaching to the choir, but typically, Western stories are entirely plot focused, and so our arcs always give or take away from that plot. But in a Eastern story arc, it may instead be character focused, where the climax is a character evolving or coming to some sort of cathartic realization, which this arc was, in a big way. We still had some plot, because this is a Shonen, but overall it was about characters, and specifically whether or not Leon and his bro would reconcile or change--which they did.

We did get to see a little more growth on Seto in that he...didn’t go bonkers and hallucinate during a card game. It’s been a while since we’ve had him not do that. Seto was very chill this arc, which makes sense, it was a very chill slice of life arc for everyone involved.

So, next we move on to the next one, which bro has informed me...is

still not Bakura.

According to Bro, the next arc didn’t even air in the Japanese version of the show? Like he’s got a lot of spicy Yugioh headcanons so he could be wrong (He did tell me that he thought that Zigfried was Seto Kaiba’s ex boyfriend when he saw this as a kid which...that sure is a way to interpret this arc, and it probably wasn’t just my little brother who went down that thought tube there...)

(Bro Note: To be fair, I didn’t watch much of this arc as a kid.)

But he says the next arc was originally a movie. But they released it in the States as episodes to be part of S5, just to put more episodes in there. Which, if he’s correct, makes it seem like we’re getting like the Mulan 2 experience kind of shoved in between this arc and the next

But um..

according to bro it has virtually no card games.

.......

I’m so used to only capping 10 minutes an episode, what?

Anyway, until then, here’s the link to read the rest of these from the start in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

I’m kinda itching to do a Season Zero, it’s been a hot minute--so those take a little longer to do, especially since I need to go to a different site I haven’t...checked out yet...I’ll be back...eventually? I just know that at some point in Season Zero they fight it out with yo-yo’s and I want to see it.

[thegeminisage]

u don't have to publish this, i don't mean to make u the spokesperson for the ace community on tumblr but sometimes i feel really uncomfortable being ace on spn tumblr. like i have a lot of beloved mutuals with whom i talk abt fun narrative threads and stuff but i don't really post about my sexuality anymore post-nov 5 because i am slightly worried they might be weird about or something. probably irrational but i did see one or two of people in our circle interact w/ That User's Post and well you know.

but generally i don't like being ace online because people can be real weird about it. not sure how much of it is just me being a weirdo or legitimately picking up on a vibe.

oh yeah like i fully dumped like half of the friends i made after nov 5 because people made fun of the word queerplatonic one too many times - there was also this post going around that said something like "why are subcultures so lame today, asexual this fandom that" and yeah it was a joke post but i am no longer speaking to any of those motherfuckers who reblogged it. in my experience, it's less likely that people will be weird about your sexuality and more likely that they will straight up forget or ignore it. like i was MODDING in a discord server WITH OTHER ASEXUAL PEOPLE IN IT who were out and questionable shit would still get said bc nobody gives a fuck. like we're generally acceptable targets online. obviously i no longer speak in that server either. like i don't have the time or the patience for that bullshit.

honestly the best solution i've found is to be as loud about it as possible, and the shitheads will weed themselves out, either by being shitty to you about it directly or shitty where you can see it. bc it's such an invisible sexuality sometimes people say stuff out of ignorance rather than malice but generally the good ones will only do that a couple of times before they catch on and get better at figuring out what is & isn't acceptable. you'd actually be surprised how many people actively desire to clean up their act once they realize they're not being their best selves - when you're loud about being ace, people who are not jerks will remember you before they say something awful and think twice. (kind of how like people tend to make less blonde jokes if they know there's a blonde in the room listening.) the shitheads will continue to be shitheads. block 'em!! like if the price of admission to that internet relationship is you having to be uncomfortable w/ yourself, it's too fucking high. nobody's headcanons are worth that. (on that note since not everybody remembers which tumblr users are shitheads, i generally give close friends a pass/the benefit of the doubt if they reblog a normal post from someone else that just happens to have been written by an aphobic OP - that is ignorance and not malice and it's not that big of a deal if it only happens once in awhile.)

anyway, i've found there's quite a lot of spn tumblr that is perfectly capable of being normal about asexuals, but you won't find it if you keep the assholes on your dash. absolutely valid if you don't feel like painting a target on your back by being loud about it, how out you are is everyone's personal choice to make, but if someone says something shitty or gives you a bad vibe, just block or softblock them, reduce the time spent talking to them. better people will fill in the empty spots eventually.

[devinescribe]

Stay High

Karube Daikichi × Reader

Based off this song

No, because It's a three am sad thought that should have been kept in my head. This is totally not based off of my deepest darkest feeling and fears. Anyways, ignore that. Um... yeah.

Warnings: Episode 3 spoilers, Manga spoilers, weed, smoking, suicide (this went darker than I intended, ok?), and another terrible attempt at angst :)

"Karu! For the last time, we're not getting a freaking parrot!" You scolded. "Aww, why not babe? They're cute," he said, pouting. You smiled kissing him quickly. "... I'll think about it," you said, before heading out. "I think that means we will have a-" "Don't push your luck babe. I'll see you after work."

_______________________________________

"And here is my attempt at trying to be nice. Happy anniversary!" You chirped, sliding a rather large gift his way. It had a draped cover over it, so he couldn't see inside. He looked at you suspiciously, slowly taking it in his hands. You had a camera in your hands, and we're smirking. He didn't trust that smirk. "Why do you have that camera?" He asked, nodding to it. "Just filming. It's a special day babe," you said, hiding your smile. "Can i-" "Don't you dare shake it-" He raised his hands in mock surrender, before slowly lifting the sheet.

You saw the smile that spread across his face. "I said I'd think about it," you said. He stood up, pulling your waist into him. He kissed you softly, making you smile in your head. "I'm guessing this means you like your gift?" You asked, a smirk on your face. "It's a fucking parrot, hell yeah I like it," he said. You laughed, pressing a kiss to his temple.

Tears blurred your vision, falling onto the screen of the camera. Had it really been a year since then?

"Ok, now I get to film you! Welcome to day 1 of our roadtrip, I don't know where we're going, but we'll find out soon enough," Karube said, turning the camera to face him. He then turned it to face you. You were putting your luggage into the trunk of your car, and looked up with a smile, giving the camera a peace sign. The parrot, who you two decided to name Nijiko after much deliberation due to its coloring, squawked on your shoulder. You smiled. "Yes, you'll be going to day care  for a while Nijiko," you spoke to the bird, petting it's beak softly. The bird shivered. "Day care? Nijiko day care?" It squawked, tilting it's head to the side. You nodded. "Yes, smart bird. Nijiko is going to daycare," you praised. "I sometimes wonder if she loves the bird more than me. The answer is yes. Yes she does," Karube said, laughing as you spoke to the bird.

"Update, it's been 4 hours, and we are in the middle of no where. The child(the bird) has been dropped off at day care... well boarding? For the week. The music's pretty good though, and this angel next to me is still here, so we're all good," he said. He was really serious about filming this. "Babe, why are you filming this again?" You asked, reaching to grab his hand on the center console. "Because memories baby girl," he responded, kissing the back of your hand as it was intertwined with his. You laughed, blowing him a kiss, turning your attention back to the road.

"Day 3 of our roadtrip, (Y/N) is deciding on what to wear, but as I've told her, she looks great in everything," he stated. You flipped him off, picking out something to wear finally. "Wowwwww, I can really feel the love," he said sarcastically, holding a hand to his chest dramatically. "Shut up, you know I love you," you said, rolling your eyes. "I know you do. Who wouldn't love me?" he joked. "I don't know babe. Watch it though, 'cause you're mine~!"

"Ok, it's a few hours later, (Y/N) is getting snacks, and I'm super nervous, because of this," he said, talking to camera. He pulled out a small box, showing the ring to the camera. "I've been documenting this whole thing like a maniac, because I didn't want her to be suspicious. But anyways, yeah... I've been thinking about it for a while, seeing as we've been together since high school. I am terrified, in all honesty," he rambled, running a hand through his hair. He put the small box back to where you wouldn't find it, but he wouldn't lose it. He saw you walking back to the car, and smiled. You opened the door, giving him a weird look. "You're filming again?" You questioned. He nodded. "You love the sound of your voice don't you?" You asked with a smile. He laughed, "Not as much as I love yours."

_______________________________________

He placed the camera was on a nearby fence post, facing you two, close enough to see and hear both of you. He started recording, and gave a thumbs up to the camera. You looked out to the water, admiring the hues of blue. The water crashed into the shore, spraying you with water. "You know when we get married, I'm definitely going to take you here again," he said. You kept looking out at the water, not noticing him. "When we get married? You already have this planed?" You laughed. You turned to face him, not seeing him at eye level. You looked down, and your eyes widened. "As I was saying, when we get married-" he started, getting interrupted when you jumped onto him, throwing your arms around his neck. You both fell to the sand, and you two couldn't help but laugh. "Are you serious? Like, really?" You asked, tears in your eyes. "Yeah, I'm serious. (Y/N), you've been with me for what seems like forever. I love you so much, and I want to be yours forever. Just as much as you'll be mine. So... would you do me the honor, and marry me?" He asked. He might have sounded confident, but he was shaking on the inside. The tears in your eyes fell, and you laughed nodding. "Yes, a million times yes," you said. He laughed, letting out a sigh of relief. You hugged him tightly, your head in the crook of his neck. "Forever and ever?" You whispered. "Forever and ever."

You looked down at the ring on your finger, crying even harder. His side of the bed stayed empty, no one would ever be able to sleep there. Not even you. His side of the room stayed untouched. The same way it had been left that morning. Before the accident.

"(Y/N)... I know you're sad, but this isn't healthy for you... just... call me back once you get this," Arisu sighed. "No answer again?" Usagi asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head. "She's been with our group as long as I can remember. And she's been... she had been... with Karube even longer. If it's hard on me, I can't believe how hard it must be on her," Arisu explained. Usagi pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'm sure she's fine. All people cope with things differently. Just give her space."

You were most definitely not fine. The grief that filled you everytime you saw Arisu's name on your phone, when you looked at anything that once belonged to Karube.  For the first time in the past few weeks, you wandered into the kitchen, and saw the binder filled with the ideas you two had for the wedding. You looked away, tears filling your eyes once more. You couldn't escape the sorrow that had filled your life. It seemed like he was everywhere. Even when you turned on the damn TV the news was talking about the incident. The names of the victims would pop up with pictures, and you would quickly turn it off. You grabbed the folder, ripping up all the papers in there, shredding them to bits in a fit of sadness. You dropped to your knees, holding the final piece of paper. You sniffled, wiping your eyes, looking down. It was in Karube's hand writing, and you took a deep breath. Eventually, you would have to read these things. Eventually, you would have to clean up his side of the room. You decided to start off small. By reading whatever this was.

'I may not be good at expressing my feelings, and this is not going to be the first time you've all heard me tell you how wonderful this woman is, and how much I love her. It certainly won't be the last, if I have any say in it. To which I do. If I could go back to the day we met, and you told me I would be marrying her, I would believe it. Because I've loved you from day one (Y/N). And now, I'll have you. Forever and ever.'

- Karube (rough draft, don't let (Y/N) find this)

You whimpered, holding the piece of paper to your chest. This was too much for you. You needed a distraction.

"Eh, just give me the money, no one will ever know," the woman said. You gave her the money, and she passed you a bag. "I promise it gets better dear. And be careful with that," she said sweetly. You nodded, your face so devoid of any emotion, it was hard to tell if you were still alive. Your world felt so numb to any emotion but hurt.

The burn of the smoke in your throat was satisfying. For the first time since his death, you felt something. Your eyes lazily looked up, staring at the ceiling.  The smell of the weed filled up the room and you rolled your eyes. For once the pain was gone. You couldn't think of anything in the moment other than being hungry. The first time in weeks that had happened.

That was your new routine. Wake up, lounge around, look through the videos and pictures of both of you, get high of your mind. It was the only way you'd forget. Was it healthy? No. Did you care? Also no. You started ignoring Arisu's calls, messages, and voice mails. Leaving them unseen, and unheard. He was worried, and Usagi had gotten worried as well, even though she'd only met you once at the hospital. You seemed like a pleasant person, and according to Arisu, you never left someone in the dark that long. You would usually respond quickly if you weren't at work. But, do to the incident, there wasn't work for a few weeks. That made him worry.

When he found out why you weren't answering, he was shocked. Your apartment wasn't exactly a mess. There were a few papers scattered in the kitchen, and uncollected mail, but other than that, your apartment was clean. He was so confused, hearing you giggling and talking to yourself in your room.

He knocked on the door, opening it slowly. "(Y-y/N)?" He asked hesitantly. You looked up, your eyes lazy and red. The smell of weed in your room was strong, the smoke going out of the window. How long had you been doing this? Had it become self destructive? These were questions he asked himself before seeing you doze off to sleep.

"What the hell were you thinking (Y/N)! You can't- you can't destroy your life over it! I- I was so worried! I've already lost two friends, I can't lose you too!" He scolded. It was a few hours later, and your high had passed. "Why do you care?" You snapped, the conversation being boring to you. The hurt you hadn't felt in weeks came back. He was back in your mind, not as your wonderful fiancé, but as the man you had lost. The man who you had to bury in the ground. It was horrible. Your mind hated the images of his body, lifeless and devoid of his usual smile. You hated it. Absolutely despised it.

"Because you're my friend! You've been my friend since high school! I know it hurts (Y/N), believe me I know, but you can't destroy your fucking life and mental health!" He scolded. It was so unfair to you, in your head. That he was saying something like that. "You want to know what's really destroying my mental health?! Not having him anymore! The fact that he's dead, and I can't- I can't-" you couldn't finish your sentence. Arisu felt bad, but this was an intervention. He had to be a bit forceful for you to stop. "Karube wouldn't want you to do this," he said softly. You felt more tears fall. But you didn't know how to deal with this. "How do you know what he wants?! He's dead!" You screamed. "H-hes dead," you whispered, your voice breaking. Arisu hugged you tightly as you cried. "Can I just know why?" He asked. "He's gone, and I have to stay high all the time to keep him off my mind. Gotta stay high... all my life to forget I'm missing him," you whispered. It was true. It was the only way you could feel something other than pain. The smoke made your mind hazy, and your sadness drifted away. But it wasn't healthy. And it would never be. "It gets better (Y/N)... please, just... stay with me for a week. So I can have peace of mind?"

2 years later

You sat on the sand of the beach, the waves crashed onto the rocks nearby, and a breeze blew the salt water into your face. You looked down at the ring on your finger, sighing at the sight of the shiny gem. You smiled sadly, pressing a kiss to it. "Soon my darling... soon we'll be together again. Forever and ever."

Because the high kept him off your mind, you didn't learn how to cope any other way. The only way was to feel any other pain. You had tried to meet other people, but no one was ever as good. You couldn't even talk to other guys without feeling guilt. It felt wrong. It was like whatever you did, you couldn't get over it. At all. In fact, it had gotten worse over the years. Especially on the yearly anniversary of the incident. Reporters would go to your home and ask you questions, seeing as people had asked you while you were in the hospital. How we're you supposed to get over it when you were reminded constantly?

So there was no thoughts in your head as you walked into the water. It was cold, shocking you. If you didn't drown, you'd die of hypothermia. And that was fine with you.

Forever and ever, no?

Ok, ok, ok.... wow, wowowowowow, this was a three am sad thought that did not have to be written, ok, um wow... that was darker than I intended, holy shit-

I promise I'm done with the terrible attempts at angst, and I promise I'm working on the my other oneshots/books. It's just that when I have an idea, I need to write it before I forget.

Remember that people love you, even if you think no one does, I promise you they do. If you really need help, please find it, and if you would like, I'm always glad to talk to people if they need my help.

[aaviav]

🎄HAPPY HOLIDAYS, GUYS!! 🎄 2020 was quite a year for everyone, man. i'm so glad i decided to rejoin tumblr and because of that, i got to meet some super cool people. and i drew a fair amount of handsome 2D boys!! things slowed down in the last few months but i hope i'll learn to juggle uni and personal drawing better soon. fingers crossed 🤞

there was this post where people mentioned the ones they’re thankful for in 2020 and well... i thought it’d be nice to give a couple of shoutouts myself. “you”, you ask, “the one who is terrible at words and also expressing their feelings?” yes, absolutely. (also aaa thank u to @/otonymous @/scummy-writes  for tagging me back then ; ; )

TIME TO TEST THE LIMITS OF HOW MANY PEOPLE I CAN TAG?

@op-peccatori nanaaaaaaaaaa ;__; 💖 i'm so so glad i got to start talking to you this past year. i feel like we can relate on a lot of things, and somehow a few short sentences always evolve into walls of text???? like. bruh. how. 💀 💀 i know i take a while to respond sometimes but getting to read your replies is a joy every time. hope you're doing ok and please give Theo lots of kisses from me HAHA  💖

@beni-draw-ikemen-please BENIIII you're The Sweetest Ever™ 🥺 i mean it!! you're also so genuine and v v fun to talk to, i hope we get to do that more often in the future! ; v ; thank you for sharing your thirst and wonderful art with us all. ALSO ALSO: don't forget to take care of yourself. OR ELSE 😤 sending lots of virtual hugs your way! 💖 💖

@scummy-writes we're both shy beans but whenever i see you around or on on the occasional messages to eachother, you're The Sweetest Ever™ #2 🥺 for 2021 (and beyond) i wish you more confidence in yourself and your writing, because you're amazing! sometimes u just gotta channel ur inner Shea LaBeouf and Just Do It! i believe in u!!!! 💖

@littlegrrl7 hi! i appreciate you and the things you make!!! a lot!!!! you're a fic writing machine, haha. yours were the first longfics that i read and honestly, your writing is so engaging in that you keep it interesting and it's also fun and easy to read and with a healthy dose of smut cough cough. thank you for sharing! 🥰

@dear-mrs-otome Mrs O! i might or might not have been slightly intimidated at first hahah orz ANYWAY our Best Boi venn diagram might have the thinnest overlap ever but thank you for the support all the same, and i'll also always BE thankful for Drained Dry which feels like a sorta ikevamp themed discord home for me 🥺 🥺

@maanawa HELLO U!! thank u for becoming my first penpal in years!! 🥰 for some reason u always seem like such a unique person to me?? if u put a gun to my head and asked why, i wouldn't be able to answer bc i have no idea, but like. i mean it in the best way 0: 👌  

@hideoutpastel HI PASTEL, i'm glad i get to interact with u a bit more bc of twitter! u are a delight!! 😤 also i think u already know but like. ur art is so ✨ sparkly ✨ and bright and beautiful ok. kthx #bless 

@yenanng i might not always reply or interact, but seeing your twt updates is somehow v cool haha. i hope you get to rest and work on personal art soon! i'm cheering u on!!! \o/ 💖

@nan-chi @weird-profiterole HI HI! 🥰 we haven't talked to eachoter much but you guys seem super genuine and fun, i hope we get to interact more in the future!! also your art is so cute i cri 😭💖

@mikotomizuki LEO HOES UNITE 🤝 🤝 thank you for being hilarious and bringing your tiddy memes everywhere you go LMAO. let's keep our fingers crossed for more amazing Leo content in 2021 🤞💖

@pseudofaux you are delightful!! thank you for all the support always. you're an angel and we don't deserve you 😭💖 (also hello ur writing skills? y e s)

@pickle-scribbles Faa, I LIVE FOR YOUR THIRST COMMENTS. SERIOUSLY HAHA. and i die bc of your masterful smut 😭 just,, thank you 🥺💖

@otonymous i've probably mentioned this before but your fics were one of the first ones i read when i got back into tumblr, and honestly? what an amazing author to start with. #thepowerofthirst 💀 i kinda stopped consuming MLQC content so i haven't kept up w everything you put out but i know that you're still AMAZING and also so funny and just. 10/10 man 

@tacogawa @savourthelittlethings u guys are just. so cool!!!!! that's all thank u for coming to my ted talk 🥰

@akirafanarts ​ hi!! i haven’t forgotten u!! hope you’ve been doing ok!! 💖

@meowlayn-art you are v sweet! your art is gorgeous! and your OCs are amazing!! ��� i'm cheering for you! 💖

@incorrect-ikevamp-quotes​ a lil random but like. thank you for your insights on a bunch of idiots under one roof aka the ikevamp boys!! 💖 and also for the Top Notch 11/10 memes. bless  🙏 🙏

special shout out to everyone on Drained Dry that i haven't yet mentioned, u guys are v cool ; v ; 💖

and lastly, thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged or interacted with my posts or just took a second to appreciate my art, really. drawing 2D boys is a joy, and i'm glad if it brings even the tiniest bit of happiness into other people's lives too! you guys are the best 💖💖💖

[rupertgayesarchive]

That ask and your answer about what if Sam was out of hunting and never left Stanford because Gabriel wanted to stop the apocalypse and threw him into a pocket dimension and I’m like. Obsessed. primarily with gabriel and how Sam would go.

I think he would stick Sam in a like… you remember when Zachariah stuck sam and dean in the office job and it was a parallel universe but also it was real life? like coplanar planes, I think Gabriel would elect to do that instead of his you’re going in my alternate universe, because it’s less detail consuming and I think Sam would notice small things that were off like how he figured out it was him in mystery spot.

You said Sam deserves to have the apple pie life but if he was comfortable with that it wouldn’t like.. work he wouldn’t be ready to ever confront Lucifer or anyone. i agree but also I don’t think he would stick with his normal life. like in the zachariah episode he had a normal life and fake memories of that but he still wanted to hunt and help people and also figure out wtf was happening. I think in this scenario Sam would still be psychic because I love that but Gabriel would probably try like… suppressing his visions and such, because they would lead him back into possible angel business. I think he’d still get little snippets because that’s fun and having reminders in that that the supernatural like.. exists and ppl are getting hurt, I think that would overrule his want of complete normalcy and even his spite toward John.

I don’t think he’d go back into hunting like, completely because I want him to have something good and also be semi well adjusted. but like we saw in the terrible life episode I think he’d like.. if he got bored and started looking up strange deaths well now he has to go help them!!

also it is sooo fun to me if he starts realizing something is wrong but he doesn’t know what. like in mystery spot I love that trope sooo fucking much also in s1 sam gets back into hunting through John Winchester style revenge quest and I want to give him a reason to start poking around that is like.. for himself and not anybody else. he can have a little obsession over it as a treat because i like seeing him be a bitch <3

i think initially when Gabriel found out the apocalypse was like in motion and Sam was at Stanford he’d have an opportunity there to do something without revealing to other players that he is alive because he was pretending to be a trickster. like he’s very much in this for self preservation and if he did some time traveling shenanigans, or disappearing both Winchesters and maybe even Adam out of nowhere, I think he’d worry that the angels would take notice. Randy your vessels!! But Stanford gives him a natural window to hide a key player. he needs to do away with Adam too so Lucifer can’t possibly have a true vessel to fight.. maybe he can kill him in a freak accident because I find that funny. sorry this is long and it will be getting longer

anyway I think as time went on Gabriel would pay like less meticulous attention. he’d still keep away like key players but as other people also started trying to stop the apocalypse he would become more relaxed also he’d be overconfident in himself like in changing channels. I think this would lead sam to notice more stuff that just doesn’t make any sense and maybe start looking for dean or even his dad, or going out of his way to look for hunts. maybe get involved in magic because i think he deserves to be a witch. wait actually that’s how he should find Dean. i think Gabriel would hide Dean from Sam and vice versa, and he didn’t foresee Sam using magic or anything. Also at this point it’s been years and I think Sam is more invested in this than his like… normal life. he’s more well adjusted but I can definitely see him just impulsively quitting his job to figure out what the fucks happening. Also I think he’d feel animosity at dean during this for not being there and not helping him, even though that anger doesn’t make complete sense. sorry i like the early seasons salmon dean reconciling and learning to like each other and sam realizing Your Parents Are People and I would like to see it with them having like, completely different lives and also some fun miscommunication bc of Gabriel. also sam having to reconcile dean having cas OHRHDHJ also dean and cas trying horribly to cover cas being not human is so fucking fun to me. unless this happens during a cas is dead time period which is fun in a different evil way.

I also think dean would only stop looking if he though Sam was dead, but I think… Gabriel might have hidden him but other people ARE still meeting him even with like altered memories. so I think angels or something can sense that Sam is alive but they don’t know where and I think they’d gloat and use it to taunt dean that he is like.. suffering while his brother is living a perfect normal life. Also because this adds another miscommunication that can be discussed and end in reconciliation in a way I don’t think would feel contrived and is in line with it the characters. it’d be Amelia s8 but Sam would be like (Sam voice) I did look for you!!! where were you when I needed you! also I want Sam to find out John died and he’s in absolute despair while cas is standing there like oh yes that’s so awful your father was an. absolutely a man😔😐🏳️‍🌈

idk when this would occur and i think every season offers like… different flavors of enjoyment for an audience of just me. like s7 proto widower arc?? Sam reconnecting with Dean during TMWWBK when he is not familiar with the dean and cas dynamic and has to be witness to Trying So Hard To Be Loyal. additionally that would be fun because bobby is there and dean is like, covering his ears and back talking bobby regarding cas. and if they’ve taken pains to hide cas being an angel Sam being like .who is this to Dean. is suchhh a fun concept.

WAIT post goodbye stranger. or maybe Sam can show up pre goodbye stranger to watch dean go from clingy after cas gets back from purgatory to wrongfooted to like ANGRY. well not Angry… to dean having dean emotions. when cas is off with the tablet ignoring him and he feels betrayed. and this Sam isn’t as close to him so he doesn’t know ANY details until Dean stats divulging them as they reconcile. ALL GOOD OPTIONS..

also if this happens during s6 i think it would be nice if cas started collecting allies, and at the same time as Sam trying to figure out what was keeping him away from dean and the angel business Cas could figure it out FIRST and use Gabriel as an ally against Raphael but he’d feel like he has to hide it from dean and sam. like in this scenario. actually any time I talk about s6 hypotheticals Cas’ conflict IS the A Plot. the Winchester’s were on a side quest idc. s6 is a fun time for these reasons but i don’t like it as much because Cas is still in the process of like.. formative development.

okay one last thing I’m SOOO sorry for my essay. you said if Sam was dispossessed the apocalypse would just.. not happen. i agree to like, a certain degree, because I do think they could have found another way but all of them would have been dust compared to swan song. so maybe Gabriel semi succeeded but instead of stopping the apocalypse he just… prolonged it. this changes a lot but if either Michael or Lucifer didn’t have a viable vessel I think the angels would scramble to actually for real stop the apocalypse but others would still want it to happen even if it was like.. Perfect they just want it to be over. this provides angel politics which I am in love with and we can still have like TMWWBK development for cas. I don’t know where I’m going with this sorry

op this is a lot, this is so much. i love it, i hope you have a google doc open somewhere and are typing away furiously.

now i didn't rewatch a lot of spn past s3 (surprise) in part bc i can't handle the brain damage and some scenes are seared into my cerebral cortex in a way that induced a temporary bout of eidetic memory, meaning i'll never forget the crypt scene in Goodbye Stranger for as long as i live. that being SAID, my s6-s7 knowledge is not as firmly coalesced. so because of that i'm letting your thoughts roam free as i don't know how accurate my own takes would be? but i feel like without sam there, like... hm. would dean even be the same person... would the past however many seasons even OCCUR remotely similar with sam out of the picture for literal years? we might be looking at a completely different world at that point.

my other theory is that the s2 plot of special children - we know azazel was raising a new 'crop' of psychic kids. i think that was a plot thread that they ended up dropping anyway, but if they didn't i do wonder if we'd be dealing with a lot more shenanigans like in s1 and s2 except with kids? and dean and cas trying to figure out what to do with these young psychics that might be turned into a vessel for lucifer or - whatever they wanted to do with those kids. hm.

i also question if purgatory would be a thing. like it probably would come up and be on the table, but maybe the godstiel arc wouldn't, bc if like you're saying dean and cas are together at this point, like. cas might have grown to love humanity (not just dean but like 99% dean) to the point where he might not be doing this risky gambit for more souls. and if gabriel is still around, cas may start petitioning gabe to help throw his archangel weight around against raphael while he tries to do the actual strategizing.

i think sam would still have his visions, like you said, and then maybe those lead him to dean or to a case that dean is also on? or if angels are more well-known later on, he tracks one down, maybe cas, maybe not (if it's NOT and it's one that works on raphael's side. ohoho. the possibilities...)

[eleutheramina]

5D’s positivity!

As someone who likes and thinks a lot about 5D’s (1-64) and recently rewatched the series, I realized I have a tendency to get pretty frustrated/negative about how some things turned out at the end, especially in the latter half of the Dark Signer arc (which I may make another post about), so wanted to take some time to think about things I genuinely appreciated!

(For the most part) doesn’t completely drop/forget the non-Signer supporting characters from the beginning arc! I always thought it was funny how Himuro/Yanagi went from Yusei’s prison buddies to Rua and Ruka’s babysitters and it’s a nice subtle way to demonstrate how Yusei’s really someone who connects people together. Of course Tenpei probably could have been more of a character than he is, but 

Also appreciate how Rally-tachi get a little more development in the DS arc--being the first to react to Yusei being King, for instance, and even getting to save his D-Wheel (even if it’s largely also comic relief) . It’s nice to see people caring about Yusei and trying to go out of their way to help/support him rather than Yusei just going out of his way to help others

I really really like the exchange Blitz has with Yusei in episode 37 when Yusei’s like like “sorry for causing y’all trouble ^^’ ” after they help get his D-Wheel and Blitz like “lol dude we’re your friends it’s ok you can rely on us” because I think it really shows that as much as Yusei believes in bonds/cares for his friends, he doesn’t always let them care for him. (Also similar to how Yusei helps fix Rua/Ruka’s duel disks but then leaves them so that he doesn’t cause them trouble.) Also clearly Yusei surrounds himself with supportive people which is gr8 (another reason why it really sucks that Rally-tachi are basically written out later--oops sorry this is supposed to be a positive post)

Carly’s character in general is pretty awesome. Maybe I just have low expectations for female characters in YGO, but even I think it’s pretty great that even though she’s obviously primarily introduced as a catalyst for Jack’s development, she’s also allowed her own character arc (which I think parallels Jack’s nicely), her own highs and lows, and her own motivations that are distinct from other characters. She even has some interactions--however minimal--with characters that have nothing to do with Jack (shocking!!!). Like I think it’s easy to forget that Carly actually met and talked with Yusei before she met Jack (not that that relationship is important, but still)! 

She’s also an active character whose actions actually advance the plot (she’s the one who seeks out Jack at the hospital, she’s the one who decides to infiltrate the Arcadia Movement). Honestly, in 5D’s, especially in the DS arc, a lot of times the plot kind of just happens to our main characters (the antagonists do more of the plot-moving), and it’s refreshing to see a character’s actions actually moving the plot forward. 

She and her thoughts/emotions are given a decent amount of dignity. When she dies and becomes a Dark Signer, obviously it’s important because wow now our rival character has something to be angsty about/motivate him, but also we get to see how she reacted to becoming a Dark Signer (poorly) and how she eventually became swayed to continue in the role.

I feel like all too commonly female characters become centered around another male character and you can argue that Carly’s character is basically about Jack at a certain point. But honestly, Jack’s character (his motivation and development) in the DS arc is, if not just as centered, at least centered a comparable amount around Carly, so it’s nice that at least they’re balanced in this way.

Overall, I could totally imagine, given the purpose of Carly in the overall narrative, that the writers could have had her be a Manic Pixie Dream Girl or have her simply get Stuffed in the Fridge, but they didn’t, and I’m grateful for that.

Also, Scoopshipping <3

Jack’s arc (even if rushed) and it’s relationship to the theme of 5D’s in general! If ultimately 5D’s is primarily about the importance of bonds (to the point that it’s the name of the first OP, and the reasoning behind Yusei’s multiple victories), I think the egotistical Jack learning to care about one person (romantically or not, although obviously they decided to go romantically) first is probably the best way they could have developed his character to support the overarching theme. 

I like how the penultimate episode of the FC arc is about the Lonely King, Jack Atlas, and the penultimate episode of the DS arc revisits that King with Jack’s speech to Godwin. Honestly, I adore that speech in general--especially Jack’s line about how he’s not the King anymore, since it’s something he’s said before throughout the arc but more offhandedly.

I also appreciate how Yusei has pretty much no role in Jack’s arc after he beats him. Not that I don’t think he could’ve played an interesting role, but given the surplus of characters relying on Yusei in the series, I think it’s nice that Yusei literally has no idea about anything Jack goes through in the DS arc. Jack vs Carly is the only Dark Signer duel Yusei is not present for because he’s stuck in the rainbow pit. 

Also, Scoopshipping <3

Rua’s arc (already talked about here)

They let Yusei lose!! (or basically lose--though tbh I’m pretty fine with his FC arc wins because they were all pretty necessary/plot-relevant and Yusei is always the underdog anyway) Also I think they at least tried to show with Kiryu the downsides of Yusei’s mentality about bonds and how his self-sacrificial nature can be bad sometimes. Having Kiryu hate Yusei’s guts because of what’s essentially a misunderstanding of an officer’s pat on the back is pretty dumb, but I do think there was potential in showing the darker side of Yusei’s loyalty to Kiryu as the latter became more and more toxic. 

Speaking of Yusei, I really like the scene in episode 47 when Yusei’s like “yeah, after we beat the Dark Signers, everyone’s coming back!!” and Jack/Ushio are like “wtf you don’t know that’s true ??” and Rua’s like “stop Yusei’s sad too :(” I think it’s one of the more interesting moments of the whole group interacting with one another where you can see them playing off each other especially since clearly the situation is stressful and upsetting. It seems like Yusei feels like he needs to step up as a leader to boost morale but also still feels uncertain and doubtful, and it could have been even more interesting if Yusei had been allowed to be wrong about this, even just a little bit. 

I’ll always have a soft spot for Ushio’s character development and the erosion of the prejudice that is a fixture of his character during the Fortune Cup. It’s also nice how it’s ultimately Martha and Takuya who help show him another side of Satellite, rather than Yusei. Ushio’s dynamic with Rua and disbelief about the Spirit World is also pretty fun to watch.

Little moments of continuity like Jack remembering Godwin’s metal arm in episode 62 and incorrectly guessing that he’s the 5th Signer like the rest of us thought, or Ushio recognizing Saiga in episode 45 since they briefly interacted before. 

[punksarahreese]

hmmm 31. “Wanna, like–I mean, if you’re not busy.. We could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don’t have a lot of time?” maybe restart? idk but just think resident Sarah super nervous and fellow Ava like hm sure why not- it can be other au tho but this prompt 31 is too good not to be used at all

Sorry this took me way longer to write than expected ahsjsk

***

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a descending aorta in such a state,” Ava mused, bumping Connor’s shoulder with her own as she reached him at the nurse’s station, “Absolutely shredded.”

“Welcome to Chicago,” Doctor Zanetti replied as she came around the corner, “I’m glad one of us is enjoying gunshot trauma.”

“You’re a trauma surgeon, Sam,” Connor reminded her, “How was the surgery, anyway?”

“Doctor Zanetti is an excellent assist,” the other woman said with a nod to her friend, “I think I have a new favourite trauma surgeon.”

“Coincidentally I may have a new favourite CT surgeon.”

Since Ava had moved to Chicago, she had become rather close with Connor’s trauma surgery colleague. The three of them did butt heads pretty often, too much ego in one room according to Ethan, but they had gotten better in recent months. Ava was glad to have friends in the new city, despite Connor’s insolence on most days and the way Doctor Downey’s favouritism of him still irked her. Work drama aside, Connor was a good surgeon and a decent friend when he wanted to be. Sam helped even things out, not afraid to help Ava knock Connor down a peg. Ava was also 100 percent comfortable with pointing out when both of the trauma surgeons needed to get their heads out of their asses, their god complexes together could be a bit much after all.

Despite the clash of attitudes, the three surgeons had realized they had more in common than originally thought. They all enjoyed sports and Ava was quickly integrated into Connor and Sam’s game nights whenever a sporting event was on. She hadn’t expected to make friends, didn't even want to originally, but it was nice to have people to talk to outside of work. It gave her something to look forward to on the weekends, besides curling up on her couch alone with some whiskey and a cardiology journal. Sam did say she needed to get out more, “become more personable”, and Ava supposed this friendship was a decent first step.

“Rude,” Connor rolled his eyes, “You’re both traitors, actually.”

“Aw, Connor,” Sam came around the counter to fling an arm around his shoulder, “You’re still our favourite pain in the ass.”

Ava laughed at their bickering, leaning across the nurse’s station to put her charting tablet down on the charger. She zoned out a bit, barely hearing as her friends switched to discussing the GSW repair that she and Sam just did. A fairly loud group of medical students were walking through the CT floor, which Ava quickly realized it was her group of loud med students. She sighed, ready to call out and chastise them for being a disturbance, but someone at the back of the group distracted her.

Sarah Reese was walking alone, as she often did, and she seemed nervous. This wasn’t unlike her at all, Ava had told her many times that she needed to work on her confidence, but she assumed that was just the student’s resting state. Still, Sarah had gotten better in the past couple weeks and that showed in how she broke off from the group completely, walking over to the three surgeons.

“Ava, can-,” she stopped herself and Ava couldn’t help but smile as her cheeks flushed when Connor and Sam glanced at her, “Um, Doctor Bekker? Can I... talk to you?”

Ignoring the amused looks she got from her friends out of the corner of her eye, she nodded, “Of course, Miss Reese.”

She led Sarah away from the nurse’s station, across the hall where she knew the other surgeons couldn’t hear them. She was aware of their gaze tracking them though and Sarah seemed to be too, evident in her posture and anxious fidgeting.

“Miss Reese?” Ava couldn’t help but laugh at the incredulous look Sarah gave her, aware that the student hated how that sounded. It had taken her about a week to break Ava from the habit, insisting that her first name was just fine. Ava only agreed to calling her that when it was just the two of them, which was good enough for her at that point. The two had gotten friendlier since their first encounter, somewhere in between Ava’s cheeky remarks and Sarah’s insistence on treating her mentor to coffee often. It was only fair, she argued, because Ava had stayed late with her in the skills lab practicing on more than one occasion. A feat that was reserved only for her, the student knew that, but she prayed no one else noticed out of fear of them getting in trouble for favouritism.

Not that she thought she was Ava’s favourite but, if the shoe fits and all.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bug you when you were with your… friends…”

Ava smiled at her and shook her head, “We just finished a surgery and I promise you didn’t interrupt anything,” she resisted the urge to give Sarah’s hand a reassuring squeeze, “What did you need?”

“Oh, um-” Sarah looked downright adorable with the way her forehead furrowed slightly, “I was wondering if you wanna, like–I mean, if you’re not busy... We could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don’t have a lot of time?”

They were both clearly taken aback by the question, not expecting Sarah to make a move like that. Usually she would just shyly bring Ava a cup of black coffee and, if they had time, they might take a walk around the hospital grounds together. It wasn’t ever a date, they had never even discussed that kind of relationship; they were just friends. At least, that’s what Ava had been trying to persuade herself in hopes that she wouldn’t unearth any feelings. Sarah was cute, sure, but she was also a student; her student. Even if she was a legal adult and a fourth year medical student, Ava was still her senior and the last thing she wanted was to get the other woman in trouble with the board.

So she tried to suppress her own hopefulness as she chuckled a bit, trying to ease Sarah’s anxiety, “Why so nervous, Sarah? Lunch would be nice, today?”

“I- um… yeah! If you have time, that is.”

“I can make time for you,” Ava replied smoothly, ignoring the nagging thought in her head saying she needed to write her post-op notes. Maybe if she was lucky Sam would do it for her, or at least not mention it when she didn’t finish them until later that evening. It wasn’t every day Ava got to spend lunch with someone and as much as she liked being with Sam and Connor in the CT lounge on break, Sarah’s hopeful eyes were on the verge of making her melt and she had already made up her mind.

“Really?” Sarah tried to hide her excitement quickly, “Okay, meet you in the cafeteria, then?”

“Give me fifteen minutes, I’ll be there.”

Sarah nodded, glancing back at Ava’s friends before regaining her composure, “Thank you, Doctor Bekker.”

With that the medical student was off down the hallway, her classmates long gone but her attitude had changed immensely. Ava had to laugh a little at how she had a little confidence in her step, wondering why Sarah Reese had such a softening effect on her. This woman was bad for her reputation, in any sense, but Ava couldn’t find it in her to care at that moment.

She tried to evade Sam’s curious eyes when she walked back over but the other surgeon wasn’t having it, “Was that the cute med student you’ve spoken so highly of lately?”

“Yeah, the same one you bullied in the ED a few weeks ago, Zanetti,” Connor reminded her, “Sarah Reese.”

“Shut up, Connor, this isn’t about me.”

Ava had been quietly gathering her white coat and stethoscope from their resting place over a desk chair, hoping she could escape without further questioning. No such luck, though, because now Sam was even more interested.

“Why’s a newbie calling you by your name, Ava?” she raised an eyebrow, “You didn’t even let me call you that until a month ago.”

“She prefers a first name basis,” Ava mumbled, which wasn’t untrue, “Makes her less anxious.”

“Well, she still seemed fairly nervous if you ask me. What did she want?”

“Nothing,” she sighed, “Just questions about our skills lab assessment later this week.”

“Mhm,” Sam clearly didn’t believe her and, judging by the look they shared, Connor didn’t either. The last thing Ava wanted was to be late to lunch because of her friends’ nosiness but she figured they would just press her for answers later at Connor’s place. Of course it was a game night and they would know something was up if she suddenly cancelled, so Ava was silently preparing to accept her fate. Not that there was really anything to admit, not what they expected anyway, but being friends with a med student she was mentoring was bad enough.

“I have to go,” she said as she swung her braid over her shoulder, “I will… see you later.”

Ava was very aware of their amused staring as she walked away, clearly not heading to go do post-ops as she was walking in the complete opposite direction of the ward. She was a bit anxious, for no real reason, but it felt like them knowing was the end of the world. That was dramatic of course and she knew they would probably just tease her about being soft but Ava still kept having a nagging feeling that it would end with the worst case scenario. She tried to ignore that thought, though, and it thankfully left her mind the second she walked into the cafeteria.

Sarah was sitting at a table that was a bit secluded, writing away in her notebook. She had her glasses perched on her nose, which were admittedly very cute on her; not that Ava would ever say that out loud. The student must have heard her approach because she looked up before Ava had reached the table, smiling widely at her in a way that had her forgetting why she was even anxious.

She would just have to tell Sam and Connor to stuff it, she decided; it wasn’t their business anyway. Besides, they always said she needed to make more friends, be more personable and all that. Really, Ava was just doing as she was told and being a good mentor by connecting with her students. At least that’s what she told herself as she greeted Sarah softly, watching patiently as she dug her wallet out so they could go get lunch together.