#anyway i may stop updating it in general so you wont have to see these posts anymore

[catinasink]

oh rgiht its monday

[sparklecare-good-au]

Sparklecare Good AU FAQ

FAQ

-General Questions-

Q: What is the Good AU?

A: The Good AU is basically just one of those "what if The Bad Thing didnt happen and everything was fine" kind of things. In it the hospital has zero connection to Cuddles in anyway, and because of that, nobody gets hurt.

-

Q: What is the comics schedual?

A: I post updates on Saturdays at 6:00 AM Eastern Standard Time. The updates themselves can be one or two pages each, depending on if I had recently come back from a break, if the update falls on a holiday, or if the pages just need to be together for some reason.

-

Q: Does the comic have an overarching plot?

A: Not in the way you might think. Theres no single goal the characters are aiming for, like how canon is about eventually getting Sparklecare exposed to the public. The "main goal", you could say, would be to get better and go home. This is still going to be difficult for some. Each chapter is fairly self contained, with some callbacks to earlier chapters/character developments

-

Q: Does this version of the hospital allow people under 18 to be admitted?

A: No.

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Q: How many chapters will there be?

A: Right now there are 4 planned chapters, but more may be added over time.

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Q: Why are there ocs in this AU?

A: I just felt like it. It makes the AU more my own. Anybody can make an AU where nobody is hurt by the hospital, I make it different by adding new characters and dynamics.

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Q: Who runs the hospital if Cuddles isnt involved?

A: Richard Sparkle, the most boring guy on the face of the planet.

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Q: Since you know all the canon lore, will any if that be implemented?

A: No, I'm only ever going to include things that are publicly known. I don't want to spoil anything for anyone, so you won't be seeing any characters early or getting any backstories or lore before it is outright said in the comic.

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Q: How do you feel about shipping/selfshipping with your ocs?

A: Totally fine! The only exception to this is Saturn and Graham, as Saturn is my fursona/self insert, and Graham is my self inserts boyfriend.

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Q: How about kinning/IRLs/fictives?

A: Same answer as shipping, totally fine with kinng my ocs with the exception of Saturn and Graham. Saturn is me, so it would be kind of weird. IRLs and fictives are okay, but for personal comfort reasons, I would really not like them to interact with me/be talked abt on my blog, sorry!

-

Q: What are you comfortable with when it comes to fanart?

A: I'd prefer if people didnt make anything nsfw or immoral with my characters, especially Saturn. You can do pretty much whatever you want other than that, like ship art, our ocs being friends, ect. Just please respect what im comfortable with and itll be fine!

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Q: Why isnt character/plot point/ect in here?

A: Even though I am a part of the ZCP, I obviously won't be spoiling anything about the comic. So I cant include things like the unknown patient who Uni hinted at in v1, or the other patient who Hemera hinted at in v2. I can only add in what is publically known, which is why character backstories arent going to be a major focus.

-Character Questions-

Q: Is Saturn a y*ndere?

A: No, and please stop asking. /srs

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Q: Wheres Cuddles?

A: Jail for tax evasion. He wont be important /srs

-

Q: Why not just make Cuddles a good guy?

A: I didnt do that because of what he represents. Hes based off of Kittycorn's personal experiences, I feel it would be rude to do that. Besides, making him a good guy who doesnt kill people would leave him with literally no personality.

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Q: Are there any character blogs for the good au characters?

A: Yes! Saturn's blog is @xxdemondogxx, Uni's is @tiniestferryshop, and Graham's is @grahamberrymusic. There is also the general @asksparklecaregoodau blog where you can interact with the rest of the cast.

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Q: Who is Saturn, and why is he a main character?

A: Saturn is my fursona, he represents me! He is a main character because I've had him for a while and really wanted to finally do something with him.

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Q: Is Saturn really a demon?

A: No, he just thinks he is. Everybody, minus Barry, is nice to him about it.

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Q: Why does Saturn think hes a demon?

A: He feels like he is a horrible person for having intrusive thoughts, because he feels normal people would never consider the things he thinks about, even though those things are not in his control. He's literally demonizing himself for being mentally ill. That and he thinks demons are naturally evil, so hes assuming hes a demon to sort of give himself a better reason for being "evil" (he is not evil)

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Q: Why are the rainbow characters (Doom and Mood, Party, ect.) still rainbow? Werent those colors caused by truama?

A: In canon, yes, the rainbow characters are rainbow because of that. However, I didnt know about that when I made their AU designs and started the comic in December of 2020. They are still rainbow despite the knowledge I now have because it makes them more recognizable. The rats specifically are still rainbow because they got past the truama of being bullied when they were younger.

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Q: Why is everyone in the hospital at the same time if they arent being kept there?

A: The plot needs it. If everybody left when they were supposed to, the only main characters there would be Barry and Saturn.

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Q: Are there any new characters who are lgbtq+?

A: Currently, as of early 2023, all the new characters who are in the hospital are lgbtq+.

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Q: Are any of your ocs autistic?

A: Saturn and Graham are both autistic. Though its not canon in real SC, Hemera in the good au is also autistic.

-OC Questions-

Q: Can I make a good AU oc?

A: You can make an oc if you want, I dont own the idea of "Big Bad Thing Never Happens" aus, so feel free to make as many characters as you like!

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Q: Can you put my oc in the comic?

A: I dont include peoples ocs in the comic itself, since if they change their mind later I would have to either edit pages or write the character out. I will, however, draw your oc if you ask and provide a reference for them (or if I just feel like it)! I will only really do that when im taking requests, or if we are friends/mutuals.

[transmasc-wizard]

NOVEMBER 2021 (an update)

i'm starting a monthly writblr update thing! Mostly because it gives me a place to store my goals where people will actually see them and be like "hey nico. why haven't you done the thing" because lord knows i don't hold myself accountable for that. So, onward!

what did i do?

i read 4 books, which is... not usual. I'm certain at this point i won't hit my 120 book goal, but i'm hoping to hit 100!

i had multiple tests at school and failed none of them. Fuck yeah

fucking. national novel writing month

i made a post that's currently at 25k notes. why. stop that

personal stuff happened! its depressing so we wont talk about that

writing stuff!

words written: 37058! i didn't win nanowrimo, clearly, but i wrote a lot.

projects worked on: The Intriguing Death of Thalia May, aka "NT21".

projects announced: in case you missed it, i yelled about my new WIP, Valarie Saintly Is Totally Normal, which i'll be drafting soon.

biggest accomplishment: NaNoWriMo, bitches. 37k is a LOT even if it's not 50k.

some stuff i wrote:

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Ace was bored out of his mind.

“Hey, Raf,” he called, not even feeling stupid about the nickname anymore. “What are you doing?”

Rafael came into the room as Ace spun in his chair to see him, and he said, “Absolutely nothing. I’m considering taking up cliff diving just to feel something in my life.”

“Awesome, make it for two,” Ace said, not entirely kidding. Really, he was only kidding because cliff jumping was not an actual activity Donnelly Academy offered.

“To be serious about the dreaded emotion that is teenaged boredom,” Rafael mused, “would you like to call Lissa and see what brand of terrible and scarring trouble we can get into today?”

Ace waved his phone, saying, “I already tried.”

this month's jams (almost forgot about that) (this is music i listened to while writing, btw)

"I'm Not Okay", Halocene's cover

"Cry Baby", Kalie Wolfe's cover

"For You", Get Scared

"Aurora Borealis", Bohnes

"Middle Finger", Bohnes

"Kill The Lights", Set It Off

"I'm Not A Vampire", Falling In Reverse

things im gonna do in december (this is the part where YOU hold me accountable. please):

work on finishing (but not necessarily finish) NT21's first draft.

start re-outlining GFW1's second half, because that's still an absolute mess.

outline Val Saintly!

finish other planning for Val Saintly, too.

read 10 books, to hit 100 total for the year.

actually chill out for once

we all know that last bullet point isn't happening, but ah well.

anyway, an update: my pinned post will be changing from my "NT21 Wip Intro" post to my general Writblr Intro post.

Have a good day, drink water, and happy December!

[cactusfru1ts]

fuck it. intro post 

(under the cut because it got. slightly longer than intended. oops)

hiiii besties im quetzal im part of a system and i got sick of pretending to be my headmate so i just kinda made my own tumblr cause whos gonna stop me

im 18 (body age and mental age) i use it/he pronouns and im a gemini, i dont really know what else im supposed to put here lmao. i made an account on pronouns.page if you want more info about my pronouns and stuff, and if you dont know what plural means you should probably check out morethanone.info but the extremely short version is that im one of several people sharing one body

oh my gender is kinda weird but the short version is that im a girlqueer bigender guy. technically im also transmasc but i dont really consider myself trans? or cis. or nonbinary. i call myself genderqueer sometimes, most gender words that have an “opposite” are kinda weird for me though. idk its like… physically i am transmasculine but i guess since i didnt form until wed already been on hrt for a bit it just isnt much of a thing for me. oh and the bigender part is like 90% guy 50% girl i guess. yeah that sounds about right.

oh also i said in my bio that im bisexual but i am also aromantic. i mean technically i guess im gray aro but for all intents and purposes i am aromantic. im also polyamorous and like i think relationships are super fun i just only realized recently that “it might be fun to date this person” is not necessarily the same thing as “i am romantically attracted to this person” lol

i really like music, some of my favorite musicians are watsky, hozier, mitski, taylor swift, mcr, and sidney gish, and im theoretically a musician but i am generally not very good at learning instruments so i mostly just sing. i also paint sometimes but im not very good at it lol

oh im really interested in cults (i listen to a lot of cult podcasts mostly) but i know a lot of folks consider that a weird thing to bring up at the dinner table so i try not to talk about it with folks i dont know well enough that i can feel confident that theyll tell me if i need to shut up. with that said i often need to shut up and if you tell me to shut up and youre not a dick about it i will try to shut up. in conversation anyways. i made a tumblr because i dont shut up though so it probably wont work if you just want me to stop posting cringe. go ahead and  block “#quetzposting” if you dont wanna see my original posts because theyll probably get pretty annoying pretty fast

other stuff i like includes 17776, psych, ncis (i know dont @ me), and also wings of fire but in kind of a weird fictive way sometimes. (technically speaking i am a fictive of qibli but i just call myself fictionkin cause it seems… more accurate, if less precise. something something integration idk. i probably wouldnt even mention it but since im openly plural here i get to make fictive jokes so i may as well explain that now.)

okay this was supposed to be a temporary intro post but i rambled a lot so i guess ill probably just keep it for a while im working on a listography though so hopefully ill add the link to that soon

edit: i made a page on my blog thats sort of like a guide to my tagging system, its more for my own benefit but if youre looking for something or need to know what to blacklist it could be useful?

second edit: i finished my listography! or like got it presentable anyways i didnt “finish” it bc im gonna have to update it + stuff but its at a point where you can look at it and learn things about me in a way that is much more pleasant than just looking at this post. this post sucks. i will hopefully also be replacing this post shortly lmao

[kanohivolitakk]

Have you done Krekka for the ask game? I know you're a huge Nidhiki fan, curious if you have any thoughts on his partner?

I haven't gotten Krekka yet actually. So far I only done Toa Ignika and Axonn for the Bionicle ask game (which Im still accepting). That being said great choice. Krekka isn't necessarily a big favorite of mine (partially because I'm not that fond of the "dumb brute" archetype barring a few exceptions), but I have to admit I do have a soft spot for the big guy. Krekka is a relatively simple character when it comes to characterization/backstory/role in the story (especially when compared to Nidhiki), but that doesn't mean I don't have any "deeper" thoughts regarding him or that there isnt stuff worth discussing.

Anyways some thoughts/headcanons/general musings:

This is a weird thing to start with but... Krekka is kinda adorable for me. I think its kinda this ...overgrown puppy (bulldog??) vibe due to his loyalty and dumbness. I admit BOADH is a big reason for me feeling this way since it gave him a few moments that made me go "AWWW he's so cute". Just..love his loyalty so much.

His undying loyalty makes him stand out for me across the other dark hunters. While many dark hunters we ha e are opportunistic and schemy, Krekka is just...very loyal. Maybe too much so. But I love that he is loyal. Feels refreshing tbh.

And now I cant help but feel that TSO is just "guys stupid but at least he wont double cross me and is easy to keep in check" when it comes to him.

Not to go woobifying villains but I genuinely dont think the guys that bad. Hes just really stupid, overly loyal and doing his job. Its kinda like w Lariska being a decent person despite being a knife happy murder girl although to a much lesser extent since guys a literalminded fool and also just smashy boy.

I do like his backstory of being a former guard who lost his job and started wreck havoc until one day a dark hunter found and hired him. It isnt anything too complex but it works well for his character and explains why he is so loyal to Dark Hunters. It also helps bringing a bit more light to his homeland and I love when we get more info of places through character backstories, makes the world feel more real that way.

Also can Gorast please stop hurting charaxters I like. This is the reason shes my least favorite character in the 2001-2008 storyline that isnt just a glorified extra or a plot device.

When it comes to Krekka, one scene I always think of when I think of him is in BOADH where he temporarily forgot to fly and Nidhiki was just "WAIT A MOMENT LARISKA TOLD ME YOU CAN FLY????" and Krekka just goes "whoops I forgot". That was adorable honestly. You dumb idiot, forgot you could fly.

Also, I know he's kinda "the idiot character", and while I am NOT saying he isn't, I do think its worth pointing out that he's basically literal minded. In BOADH (again) when Nidhiki tried to do that training scenario Krekka basically was like "wait I’m here, there’s nothing there why should I move there". This is

Another thing I really like about Krekka is that how, despite being an absolute idiot and tool, he still is willing to sometimes not take Nidhikis bullshit, see preventing him from getting the Zamor launchers (geez BOADH did a lot for this guys characterization lmao)

I sometimes call him truck boy because his name is one letter off my languages word for truck.

Also unless canon/word of Greg says otherwise I don't think every member of his species is as stupid as him. Like possibly on similar level but still.

It is made pretty clear that Nidhiki couldn't stand Krekka at all, but I do genuinely wonder how Krekka feels about Nidhiki. Based on the little we have I'd say he liked him to some extent or at the very least, didn't hate him to the same degree. I also have to wonder how aware he was about Nidhikis haterd towards him.

I also love the idea that when Nidhiki was mutated, Krekka just...wasnt afraid of him at slightest, no fear in this dumb boy. (I also like the idea he didnt recognize him at first and Nidhiki just, had to explain to his thick skull who he was. It took a while but eventually he got it.)

On a related note, I find it interesting how the LOMN website describes him working with Nidhiki because guy knows where to get the good jobs or something rather than being his goverment (read TSO) assigned partner The way the twos relationship were described makes it feel that by this point the staff hadnt figured out what they wanted to do with Dark Hunters , or if it even was an organization or just these two tools.

Its really interesting for me how Krekkas characterization not only varies between the books/comics (where hes more intimidating and him being a simpleton isnt as pronounced) and the movie (where hes more of a dumbass) but also how his characterization evolved. Like, his loyalty wasn't that pronounced trait but now I feel its just as important part of him as him being a dumbass (which is to say, very interesting)

I remember how the aftoermentoined Metru Nui movie website described that Krekka hated toa to the point wouldve hunted them for free if Nidhiki didnt make sure the two would get paid. I feel this is somewhat early installment weirdness as it isnt mentioned anywhere else but at the same time Krekka being willing to fight without payment sounds 1000% in character if you ask me

Something I have been confused over: when exactly was Krekka recruited to the dark hunters??? The timeline is very vague about this and I wish we knew.

It's been AGES since I watched my home countrys dub of LOMN but what I recall I really liked Krekka's voice in that dub. He sounded more badass and I loved it, the VA had a pretty unique sound. Sadly dont think there is any clips of the LOMN dub, which is a shame. UPDATE: I rewatched the dub and I love the voice itself but felt the voice direction made him sound kinda inconsistent

This is more a "Nidhiki and Krekka related thought" rather than just Krekka related but one thing I really like about Krekka and Nidhiki is that how they are like a more serious and competent take of "those two evil henchmen with contrasting personalities" trope. Often these types of villains are rather goofy, but these two could be rather dangerous as well and I really like that. I also like their dynamic of just doing Nidhiki being done with Krekkas bullshit. One of the main reasons I wish LOMN was a miniseries rather than a movie is because I really wanted more screentime with the two.

On a related note can I JUST SAY I LOVE the way the two compliment/pararell each other. From design (Krekka being bulky mostly blue colored, Nidhiki being slender and monstrous, mostly green colored) to personality (Krekka being foolish and simpleminded but loyal Nidhiki being cunning and ambitious but treacherous) to powersets (Krekka being strong physical attacker, Nidhiki being weaker(??) but faster and more special attacker).Heck, even their backstories have similarities as they both lost their orginal purpose in one way or another and didnt have anywhere to go but Dark Hunters (the main difference being that Nidhiki inflicted his fate upon himself by betraying the toa while Krekka didnt really do anything iirc)

Now for something crossovery, Krekkas and Nidhikis dynamic reminds me a lot of Kronk and Yzma from Emperors New Groove. Yes I have drawn a parody of the "pull the lever kronk" meme, yes I intend to make more screencap redraws. They also remind me a lot of Mummymon and Archenemon from Digimon 02, partially due to the dynamic (smug spider that tries to be cunning and intimidating but gets outclassed by most other villains in that + loyal blue dumb boy) partially due to their ultimate fate being rather similar.

I don't know how familiar you are with the franchise, but Krekka reminds me a fair bit of Gamel, one of the four villain generals in Kamen Rider OOOs, mainly because "the dumb brute major villain that's kinda cuteish and loyal a f while everyone else is an asshole".

I remember reading a p good oneshot fic that was just him accidentally killing a civilian when all he wanted was a hug and...honestly that is p much what I imagine him being like. Guy may be strong, reckless and a fool but like I said I dont think hes all that bad and just a puppy. An overgrown, moronic puppy but a puppy nontheless

For AUs, I remember I have thought once of "What if Krekka survived but Nidhiki died" and just ...guy wouldve been very lost and confused and unsure what to do tbh. He would most likely returned to Dark Hunters but Mata Nui knows how say TSO wouldve felt about that. Its not too complex au yet but I am thinking of developing it further one day.

Thank you for asking.

Sorry this took longer than expected. I had too many thoughts and half of them were deleted so. I hope its worth the wait tho. I do have a lot of Krekka thoughts and tbh wasnt sure if I was even able to get them all here.

(I am still doing the ask game so if anyone wants to send me a bonkle I will try to give thoughts, meta and headcanons on them)

[definitelynotcesia]

good eve! submission to my loml abt my theories that i shook off of my brain. pls this is only for cesia because i accidentally said too many things here hehe.

warning: whatever i said here are just merely theories and they might be wrong so read with utmost discretion.

it's been a while since i have even heard from you

And I should just tell you to leave 'cause I

Know exactly where it leads, but I

Watch us go 'round and 'round each time

here,, i looked at this as if i am either taehyun or yn. but lets say this is more likely to be yn because she's the one who knows and is aware of everything that's happening. yn has this sofi the bitch situation right?and knowing yn she might think that she should stop this rekindled connection with taehyun since yea sofi but this verse gives me the hope that our yn will keep this connection going this time?? like she would have this yea fuck it let's keep this yn x taehyun conversation instead of sunny x taehyun (since sofi is pretending to be sunny now. eww) situation. i think yn would keep this connection again even though she knows the consequences of this action. so if this is right, there might be some yn x taehyun subtle landian blessings. i am keeping my fingers crossed for this one.

The lights are off, he's taking off his coat (mmm, yeah)

I say, "I heard, oh

That you've been out and about with some other girl"

Some other girl

He says, "What you heard is true, but I

Can't stop thinking 'bout you and I"

pls im very intrigueed because yn nd taehyun recently had a conversation abt this right? him and sofi. like the last update was about taehyun and sofi's relationship and how yn was talking about it. but pls bear in mind that taehyun implied that yn was secretly hoping right? right??? so this is where "What you heard is true, but I can't stop thinking 'bout you and I" makes really sense for me because taehyun admitted that there is something abt sofi nd him (because sofi is pretending to be sunny eww again) but he knows that the connection between him and yn is what keeps him up at night. he cant help but think abt what he and yn has. he feels something. something that he could not pin out. yes mr. kang keep on thinking. so maybe,,, he'll start comparing yn to the past sunny (yn's persona) to the present sunny which is none other than the pretentious sofi. And maybe yn isn't the only one secretly hoping at this point. *winks*

but then,,, an insider told me that this song might be a spoiler for the whole story instead of a chapter (insider kind of suspicious tho). so i started looking at it in a bigger setting (sorry im still going.).

so style is generally accepted to be taylor swift's song about harry styles (nothing is confirmed here but miss swift,,, i can feel it.). but that's not the entire point here. i would just like to give u guys a background about the song. the song has been analyzed and interpreted for many times now and there are many similarities as well as differences. like how the song kinds of tells us about a relationship and they know that it will not work out at the first place but they insisted on doing it. there are other analysis that says that this song is about two lovers that weren't just synching as if time wasn't agreeing their way. others says that this one is about being uncertain about a relationship. all of the analysis ive mentioned are yes,, you've guessed it - are my points on how style is related to helpline or how it spoils the whole series...?

So first point/connection. we know at the very beginning of helpline and the interaction between taehyun and yn (as herself) it was just yn that likes taehyun because taehyun alr likes sunny at this point. flashbacks of the secondhand embarrassment brought to u by yn and beomgyu. so she alr sees this relationship with tyun as hopeless because he likes the persona that she created, the exact same persona that she was scared to reveal. it was upon taehyun's support and the daycare as well that made yn feel positive about this. reference #1: style is about knowing that things wont really work out and would just end up badly but you still did it anyway.

second, reference #2: style is about a relationship that is not synching up. "Well it's basically kind of one of those relationships that's always a bit off. I talk about in another song on the record, a crooked love, which is kind of like never quite synced up right..." taylor mentioned this during her promotion for the 1989 album. so notice how whenever the relationship between taehyun and sunny is at its highest, suddenly there are conflicts arising. this might be just cesia's writing technique but notice the lyrics!!! "and when we go crashing down, we come back every time". the first crash was when taehyun likes sunny instead of yn. but yn is sunny! and that ladies and gents is the firt come back. the second crash was the allegations abt who might be the real sunny and the first come back mi amigos is taehyun's reassurance to sunny aka yn. the latest crash and the most annoying of all is sofi and i am still hoping for the next come back that might happen real soon.

reference #3: "When I wrote this next song I was thinking about how we have these kind of fashion staples that never quite, we never quite throw them out of our closet, right? No one's going to be like, why are you wearing a little black dress, no on wears that, that was so two years ago. Everybody has that perfect little black dress or for a guy that great white t-shirt that fits you perfect. You may not necessarily wear them all the time, but they're always there in the back of your closet in case you need to go to your old standby, that classic thing that always works. I was thinking about that, and I then I was thinking about how there are feelings like that, how there are trends that never go out of style and how there are feelings that never go out of style. Do you see where I'm going with this?" the feeling that taehyun that he's not throwing or neglecting was how he felt connected to sunny in a very intimate way. like i think that was what he was looking for in sofi, yes the pretentious sofi. he was looking for that kind of connection. the safeness and the realness of taehyun and sunny towards each other. notice how the connection was only visible when he was talking or with yn (the real sunny). because the connection between him and sunny cannot be faked. no matter how hard sofi tries to pretend and act the connection is just nowhere to be found.

i dont have enough time to concluded this now but i hope this makes sense to cesia klshdjkgshjjhahj

the loml being the yn protection squad™ leader and founder that she is,,,,

these are actually very very interesting theories you have written here babe. i think some theories quiet matched to what i had in mind tbh, sort of almost but not quite ?? (if the grammar is right,,, wtf). i'm interested in your other theories though akbskdhsn why does this feel like a research oral defense or smth

you really placed so much effort in dissecting the song omg i already told you this but i'm telling you once again,,, you make me cry so hard wtf :< i just love you sm, my soulmate :<<

ps: all of this may have started from here

[di--es---can-ic-ul-ar--es]

help, the girl I'm seeing is bi but I'm the first guy she's ever dated (both late 20s). what do I do when the time comes for us to do the deed? so far we have not gone beyond making out and clothed groping

I'm assuming you're both cis because base rate.

Well I dont have unique advice, the bi ladies I've been with have all been coming at it from the other side. but I can say the obvious, mostly stuff that applies to every girl you bang:

1. Talk a lot beforehand. There's no clear line between gathering information and verbal foreplay. Leverage that. (Send another message if you need help making the interview list, I wanna keep this high level and pg13). And honestly when I was younger I loved fast nonverbal and yolo, very hot and romantic, but once you're older you have to facilitate more targeted experiences, people have already had that younger kind of sex and their bar is higher. (At the same time I could be wrong: someone may explicitly prefer fast nonverbal and yolo, but you're clever I'm sure you'll figure out a way to ascertain this somewhere in the process)

2. Dont be penetration obsessed. The number one complaint I've heard about boring mediocre sex from women is that the guy thinks it's all climbing one mountain with penetration at the top. You can assume that someone who's had a lot of lesbian sex will feel doubly about this. You can use step one to find out what her toy history is, sounds like for all you know at this point you wont be her "first penetration" if you count toys.

3. On oral: I think there's this idea in the memeplex that guys who dont like to go down on women arent valid, the complaints about them that I've read seem very uncharitable. I fully accepted that until I banged a woman who didnt like dick in her mouth, and I realized that I thought she was valid, so I updated that guys who dont like doing oral are valid. However there is a cost!! The chick who didnt want to go down didnt have me at my A-game! I tried my best but without proper foreplay, ladies I'm only human, I might not be able to perform to my standard. So flip this around, well I have a hypothesis that the overall experience scales with how talented or enthusiastic or even just plain willing you are to do oral. You shouldn't do it if you dont want to, if you physically hate it tell her that. But if you're physically lukewarm about it, derive from your desire to overall facilitate an experience an instrumental desire to be an oral partner. It's something that seems to go a long way. And read about good oral techniques. And everyone's different, you know consulting two hours with a generic clit expert is probably less valuable than consulting with your lady in particular.

4. This will dovetail with 5. Her wetness is like consent in that its not a bar for a horse to jump over, it's one of those impact meters at the carnival where you smash it with a hammer or your fist and you want the score to go as high as possible. This relates to 2: guys who are bad at sex think "is she wet enough for us to get away with penetration?". You want to ask "how wet can she possibly get?", your standard should be that when people ask her how wet she tends to get in the future she has to say "well there was this one time it got really out of hand, but usually it's more like [how it was with people who arent you]"

This is more of a meta point and may be a little too specific to my topping and/or domming practice and doesnt apply for every partner, but I'm gonna share it anyway because I think it represents a somewhat healthy direction for overall sexual culture to go in:

5. Escalate consent from yes to fuck yes. Dont do anything she doesnt beg for. Think about the oral question: consider not letting her put your dick in her mouth if you think she's just doing it for you or out of obligation, make it something that either she really really wants to try or it doesnt happen.

Some people dont really want to get into begging mode (sometimes you have to start hitting it then stop to get them to beg), some people even get less turned on at verbal consent cuz they're like "what's the matter with you cant you read my body language?" and you should try to ascertain where your lady falls on these spectrums. But they tend to really appreciate when you have a higher bar for what you'll consider a "yes", even if they dont like to beg.

[minniewoos]

Mafia! Bang Chan➣ Headcanons

first and foremost, his word is law

and so chan is not as man to be messed with

r/stressed

got this mess of an organization handed down to him at a young age

and the first thing he did was deal with the unloyal and corrupt executives

people who thought they deserved top spot compared to a 20 some year old boy

most of them were planning to assassinate him on the dl

Chan didnt like that

so he and his buddy Minho dealt with the little traitors

they stopped bothering him, some moved to other organizations

the others were never heard from again

did chan torture them? kill them? the world may never know

and so Chan reformed the whole mafia within the span of a few years

he himself was the adopted son of the previous mafia boss

so he wanted to give opportunities to kids who didnt have anywhere else to go like him

so he did

he gave the organization an official name, stray kids

it started with him just sponsoring a boarding home

then he placed one of the retired, but one he deemed loyal, executives in charge of it

since he began needing more manpower and some of the older kids needed jobs, he slowly let them work for skz

it’s an odd dynamic, but many of the older generation members gained respect for Chan

and the younger generation are extremely loyal

it worked out quite fine for him

he even gained quite the reputation quickly, people try to avoid skz when they can

cause if you mess with skz, chan will make sure you’re dealt with

whether it means you cant say another word or disappear completely

theres rumors

chans a busy boy, and hes gained quite the reputation

a lot of mafia groups from other cities have heard a lot about him

especially after he reformed the whole organization and got rid of most of the higher ups

and began some practices over time

specifically, with minho and changbin

those are his go-to guys for questioning

nobody ever wants to get “questioned” by them

it’s basically two bad cops, no good cop there

the only good cop in skz is woojin

anyway chan wanted a group of capable people he could trust

he obviously had people like changbin and minho in his little circle

but it grew quickly

eventually he ended up with eight other guys who’ve had their own struggles

but joined stray kids for their own reasons

people like jeongin and felix had nowhere else to go

woojin and hyunjin were in need of jobs

And that’s how it’s been for a while

things run smoothly for the most part and skz has a strong reputation

chans almost always busy

whatever business he’s dealing with, he makes sure he gets a good deal

doesnt play around

you try to trick him he will make sure you regret it

theres a certain rumor floating around about chan

many, actually

lots of rumors

people say hes of royal descent

others say he murdered the old mob boss to take charge

just a wide variety of strange things are said about him

one time jisung heard that chan trained wild wolves to maul competition

jisung laughed

outside of skz, hes a complete mystery

it’s kind of like an inside joke for stray kids

occasionally members would come home and share what new rumor they heard

the craziest one came from felix (who actually believed it)

he went up to chan, slightly bewildered, and asked him

“hyung, did you really escape from russia as a kid??”

chan was very confused how that one started

especially since he has a clear Australian accent

and hes very aware of his reputation

he knows who he is

and he likes to keep it like that

so theres less chance of people messing with skz

in his eyes, the reputation was a safeguard from people seeing them as weak

plus it amuses him

while the rumors are usually baseless, he does have a fierce attitude when it comes to work

all business no play

again, r/stressed

jisungs acting up and being weird?

he has seungmin give him a good slap

then they would get into a fight

which chan would have to break up

or maybe hyunjins being overdramatic

he gets seungmin to talk to him

chan basically gets seungmin to handle the other members when they’re being difficult

well, some of them

one time chan sent seungmin to deal with a moody minho and seungmin ended up pinned to the ground with a knife to his neck

seungmin refuses to deal with moody minho nowadays

anywho, if chan tells a member to do something they do it

he just likes to bother seungmin

cause if you don’t do what chan tells you, you’re in for it

and since he basically grew up in the mafia, hes been hardened to most things

this guy wont bat an eye to shooting a gun

that’s child’s play for him

hes seen things that would leave many people traumatized

not a pushover in the slightest

however many people don’t know he has a soft side

a soft side???

chan?? what? soft???

yes

many people would scoff at the idea

this ruthless mob boss couldn’t possibly be soft

they’d be surprised

he has a very soft side

and he only shows it occasionally, since this job requires a hard heart

honestly chans always been soft

he cried a lot when he was first brought to the mafia

but years of brutality and cunning violence numbed him to it

but you

when he met you

whew

boy he was putty

yea sure he was about to kill you

but he very very quickly warmed up to you

nobody knows why

but you were certainly grateful for it

and you enjoyed the soft side of him

because you’re the one he usually showed it to

chan also spoiled you

and had no problem showing off his money

you tried to tell him you didnt need all the stuff

he didnt listen

you felt like you were in some cliche fanfic

oh shit wait

you moved in with him and the other members

mostly because the other members didnt want you yapping about skz

and the other members barely trusted you

except for felix

but eventually they all warmed up to you

it wasnt easy adjusting to the lifestyle

and it wasnt easy leaving your old life behind

but in the end you really did enjoy it

and chan was forever grateful he met you

and you know, didnt kill you

anywho chan tries to keep you as safe as possible

if anything happened to you he’d flip shit

hed be pissed

and nobody would be getting out happy

chan was careful though so you’re all good

…for now

chan made you the happiest

and you made chan happy

he liked it that way and wouldnt have it any other

cause hes a sucker for ya

A/n: this was a quick update for the mafia series! First time doing this kinda format so I hope its enjoyable. Itll be a while until the next fic is out tho. This was kinda filler until the next update. I have a fic called The Sun Will Rise Again for Chan and its mafia au too, so check it out if you want.

[rossa-motte]

Hiatus and digital detox due to mental health, blog.

I don't know who will read this because it's like 3 am here. Anyways, I wanted to tell anybody who follows me that I'll take a break for a while. I don't think I'm that active really, but I never planned to be because I have a complex relationship with social media. For an anxious introvert with lots of curiosity, Internet should be like a dream... and in some ways it is; it have shaped a lot of what I'm today. But at the same time I kind of hate it. In fact, my first serious works of fiction where all about this and cyberaddiction (that's why I usually refer to them as "YA black mirror"). So, for those who read my intro (if not check my index) I have OCD and anxiety. To me they're the same, like saying "my sibling and brother" lol The point is that I'm not feeling great; in 2019 and beginning of 2020 I wasn't as connected (to the web) and I was a lot better, living in the concrete, material, real world, doing things, connecting with concrete people. Don't get me wrong, Internet it's part of the real world, but for my mind at least it's too abstract, just as daydreaming, and so confortable for me, and so easy to suck me in and let my mind think only the abstract (hence what I think) is reality. In fact it's not. I have to remember I'm a real human that has to do real thing, including writing... and not daydreaming nor browsing pinterest. I need to get bored, and face awkward situations without hiding on tumblr. I need to stop knowing what other humans thinks about everything all the time. I need to stop comparing myself with every human on the internet. I need to stop engaging with toxic mentalities or bad news. I need to stop reading about stuff that triggers my OCD. And if you feel like you need to do it too, or just try, for a week, a month, or forever, please try it. FOMO it's just another form of anxiety and you can generate a healthier relationship with the internet and social media. An addiction isn't as extreme as you may think it is, and a lot of people are addicted to their phones or computers.

And what can we do without our screens?

Art: draw, paint, photography (just for us, not instagram), music, writing (of course), dancing, etc. Doing what you like or learn something new.

Learn: a skill, a language, some random and useless but fun stuff or things we can use to be functional adults (carpentry?)

Exercise: yoga, workout, walk, run, gym, dance, sports, bike, hike, swim, play with your pets (or bath them, oof).

Entertainment: read, listen to podcasts, the radio, music, a movie, a series (but actually watch the series, not just background sound to feel less alone).

Be social (but be careful lol): see your friends, family, play board games, drink some coffee, go to dates, go to events (with few people).

Get your shit together: clean, do your chores, plan your goals, meal prep for the week, declutter, create a budget, volunteer, start your vegetable garden or plant something, plan a morning or bedtime routine for yourself (... and do it).

Misc: try recipes, do a trip (no need to go far), discover your city, go to fun events, write in a journal, take a long bath, write a letter to someone you love, take a nap, meditate, do some DIY project, go through old pictures, do something funny with your significant other ;)

Some of these may need some help of the internet (like learning something or watching a movie) but if you do it with intention, don't spend a lot of time with it, and don't let yourself get distracted, don't worry! Or maybe you write with google docs (as I do), or maybe corona is wild in your city and it's better to do calls with your friends. It's alright. Anyways, these are just ideas. Hope you all do well. I'll read you later. Maybe some days ahead I'll visit, or update my writing... or maybe I wont.

[meduise]

Whats some of ur fav dino, dino/hibari hcs?

finally i could reply to this ask!! which, anon, i still thank you for bc its the best thing i could ever be asked to talk about ww

reading will likely take some time, but i hope you and whoever else reads this post will share some hcs or at least find them nice ad interesting enough! and of course, i’ll be happy to answer more asks about it!! like the hibari-only post, i may come back to this one and update it over time

general warning for death mentions and spoilers from the novel “haneuma stampede”!!

hopefully this post wont be hidden from the tag search

dino headcanons

until i read about haneuma stampede, i pretty much always headcanoned dino’s hometown being naples, and this because i have neapolitan origins myself www in the light novel we get to know that dino’s hometown is a port city facing the adriatic sea (east) hence the opposite coast to naples, since this town faces the tyrrhenian sea (west). because of this piece of information, tho, i started thinking dino could be from bari, apulia’s capital city

being that a self projection, im still attached to that hc, so to keep at least a part of it i gave dino neapolitan grandparents LOL i mean, it’s not unlikely anyway

this is a recent hc but dino has a huge crush on is a big fan of immanuel casto, a gay italian singer whose most songs are explicit or suggestive and provocative

i think we all can agree that romario is like a second father to dino, right? their bond gets even stronger after cavallone nono’s death ;; romario will occasionally drop his habit to call dino “boss” and call him with his first name instead. dino will remind romario quite often how important he is to him beyond his role as his right-hand man

What Do You Mean Dino’s Tattoos Magically Appeared On His Body When He Was Deemed The Worthy Successor,,, i (falls on my knees) hc’ed that getting them done took A LOT and hurt A LOT and he yelled A LOT to the tattoo artist to stop inking and to his family that he didnt want to belong to that world,,,, im sorry dino

his tattoo and his duty as a boss in general dont give him much freedom (or should i say they dont give him freedom at all) so among the other hcs of situations where he has to cover his left arm, i have this one where dino cant but go to the beach when its empty and/or at night so that no one can see him but his men

the years may pass but he will still blame himself for his father’s death. and i mean. its pretty much true that it was his fault orz thanks light novel for giving me depress

onto the personality-wise hcs,, i talked about hibari’s enneagram type so i cant not do that for dino too. dino is 2w1, which gets called the servant. starting with the basic type: depending on the level of health, the two (”the helper”) ranges from being the most genuinely caring and helpful type to other people to being the type who gives expecting to be given something back to being the type who manipulates people into caring about them. i dont believe dino has fallen or will ever fall into the very unhealthy pit but he does get on the level where he thinks his generosity is the only thing that tie people to him and his people-pleasing attitude starts getting suffocating. he can be quite possessive, too. in a few words, type one is a very principled type, who fears being defective, bad and corrupt. therefore i assigned dino the one wing to kinda enhance the following paradox: being what he hates the most, aka part of a rotten system such as the mafia one. and with a role as a boss, to it. dino as a teenager never wanted to succeed to his father, and even now he wishes he didnt belong to that world but he loves his family, and even tho according to the moral he deserves to go to jail together with his men, he is self-admittedly too much of a coward to do that (theres so much more to add to this but if i do it will get REALLY long. there’s going to be another little enneagram talk in the d18 hcs anyway, lol)

_____________________________________________________________

dinohiba headcanons

these bitches gay good for them, good for them

advanced apologizes for being an angst fucker but for years my #1 headcanon has been a quite twisted one about dino and hibari not allowing themselves die by the hand of someone who isn’t each other’s. its a sort of oath. they feel like if one of them dies it will be unforgivable, and this will lead them to ultimately kill each other. in their mind, “it’s either both or none of them”, both know that they won’t be able to bear with the other being gone forever (yes, hibari too) and the only solution they find is leaving the world together, the same way they fought on it and against it together. the scenario i thought for this is a duel inside the reverse globe of needles. their last fight in hibari’s ultimate technique so that it’s literally just a world made of the two of them lol lol lol

tbh dino didnt like hibari at first, and with hibari being hibari it takes them long to warm up to each other. for long i mean some years w (years of anger, fights, hardship, trauma reveal, and so on)

their first bonding moment happens when hibari finds out about fon (yeah, all the stuff i talked about in my hibari hc post to which i have to add: i made my own timeline where the arcobaleno arc happens about 2 years later than shown in canon). dino is there to comfort him. dino hugs hibari and he lets him do. hibari cries. HIBARI CRIES for the third (3rd) time in his life there

i have this kinda specific hc of dino overhearing hibari sing hitoribocchi no sadame and getting sad about its lyrics

for obvious reasons even when they start dating they’re forced to spend most of the time away from each other but they make sure to be together at least on every anniversary

i love the established relationship trope so much therefore 80% of the times i think and write about them hibari is in his 30s and these two have been married for like 7 years 

i’ll get to the marriage proposal and ceremony another time hopefully in a fic too but of course romario and fon are chosen for their best men

idk if people consider ship playlists and such as hcs, but i associate savages by kerli and someone to stay by vancouver sleep clinic to them ;;

about someone to stay: the line will you fix me up? will you show me hope? is hibari -> dino, and the line can you keep me close? can you love me most? is dino -> hibari

and finally, to go back to the topic of enneagram: their compatibility according to their types. on the institute’s official site theres already a good description, which makes me cry everytime i go back to it because it literally starts with “These two types are more alike than they might appear to be at first”. part of this is given by the fact that unhealthy twos get the unhealthy traits of eights and healthy eights get the healthy traits of twos. i made a scheme for it:

i admit that i have no proof that the comparison is legit for the wings too, but finding out the stress/growth correlation even for them was very validating and satisfying, lol

some headcanons are missing from this post bc i decided to post the most important and my fave ones (the fave ones are those asked for in the first place but i cant shut up ashdjsdhfdjsdhfg)

but either way OVERALL i really, really love imagining both dino and hibari overcoming their hardships, individually and together, becoming the better versions of themselves the more the years pass, bringing their best qualities to each other and learning to accept and appreciate their different points of view. 

because of the way they are at first they... dont really start good, but with health and trust they make a powercouple tbh

[chocojjk]

cafes and pinky promises

summary: bff! felix → idol! felix ,,, like i said , i suck at summaries 

words: 2.8k

a/n: yall im on a roll, i really don't know why im writing so much these past few days but enjoy,, i hope

not edited, per usual

as you entered your favorite cafe, you never expected to come face to face with the boy who filled up every second of your thoughts

in fact, it was the very boy that has created so many memories with you in this same exact place

you wanted to go up to him, to see how he was doing, ask him how idol life been treating him but you found yourself glued to the floor, unable to move

every single memory with him suddenly flashing in mind

-

the two of you met back in middle school

it was the typical story

you were the new kid in school,

didn't have any friends,,

sat alone at lunch,,,

then one day he came up to you wearing his brightest smile, the freckles upon his cheeks shining up like the stars in the sky

“hi, im felix”

(❁´◡`❁)

and the rest was history

you guys became the best of friends, practically glued to the hip

but let’s skip all that friendship fluff and fast forward to second year of high school

you guys have been best friends for a good four years now

one of the things that you guys love doing is going to the cafe a little out of town

the cafe had free wifi and barely any people so it became a routine to just go there after school and goof around

dont get me wrong, you guys do homework too

#getyoureducationkids

also like #fuckthesystem

anyways,,,,

since you guys were the smartest in your class, it never really took that long to finish homework and instead you guys would just have fun listening to music, telling bad jokes, watching a show on netflix, and sometimes even just playing rock paper and scissors

there’s never a dull moment between the two of you

honestly if it wasn’t for you and felix, the cafe would probably be out of business

even the owner knew you two

she was the sweetest old lady, always giving you guys extra cookies and letting you stay for as long as you can

she would also always joke around about how you two would make the cutest couple, comparing the two of you to her and her husband who were high school sweethearts

being young, the thought first made you wanna vomit

like ew,,, boys are gross

but as you grew older, you started seeing the boy in a different light

the small touches and the hand holding suddenly started to have meaning

everytime he laughed, it was music to your ears

his freckles became the most beautiful thing in the world, and you loved tracing each one of them

sure, you guys have had your own share of petty fights but at the end of the day it did nothing but strengthen the friendship that you two share

there were never any secrets

(((besides of course these feelings that were growing but shh we dont speak of that)))

you knew felix like the back of your hand and vice versa

and you could just see yourself spending every moment with him in the upcoming future

until of course one day,

“y/n, i need to tell you something but pinky promise you won’t get mad?”

“felix every time someone says that, people tend to be mad”

“y/n just pinky promise me you wont”

“ok, i pinky promise, now what is it??”

felix was absolutely terrified

he’s been meaning to tell you this for a while but every time he tried he just couldn't find the words to do so

and god, how he has let time pass him by

“im moving to korea”

you bursted out laughing and felix is confused as heck like?????

whats??

so ???

funny????

“seriously lix, you made me pinky promise not to be mad over a joke??”

you see, pinky promises may seem like a childish thing but it was sacred between the two of you

so when he used it over a joke, you just couldn’t help but let out a few couple giggles

however, as you turned to face him and saw the serious expression written on his face you found yourself at loss for words

“wait, are you serious?”

“yeah”

“wh-when are you leaving?”

“in a month”

“h-how long have you known???”

“ummmm” (´･_･`)

“felix.”

“Since we went to the park”

the park

you remembered that day, it was probably one of the happiest days of your life

you passed your math test with a perfect score and has just become the student body president of your class

on top of that, felix decided he wanted to treat you out for ice cream as he was proud of his best friend

what you didnt know was that this was the day that would change everything

this was the day he was scouted

the day he received the news that he was accepted as a trainee

and hes been finding a way to tell you 

but he just couldn't 

you were completely over the moon

as you guys were sitting on the swings, your hands occupied with your own ice cream cones

felix started talking about his dance team and choir class

you always knew how much he enjoyed those classes

yet as he talked about his passion, his eyes twinkling and his mouth curving into the softest smile, you truly got a grasp on how much your best friend loved music and performing

you can't help but think back to a few days ago, when your friend brought up how much your eyes sparkled talking about felix

you wondered if you looked the same as how felix looked now, talking about the things that he loved to do  

and then it hit you

you were in love with your best friend

god reader, how cliche could you be (●'◡'●)ﾉ♥

“felix, that was two months ago.”

to say you were mad was an understatement,, you were filled with rage

anger and disappointment all just combining into one

suddenly the future that you clearly saw vanished because every single one of those versions had the boy by your side

“im sorry”

not knowing how to respond, you started packing up your things in your backpack

felix just watching you do so, thinking of things to say to make the situation at hand better

once you stood up, he snapped out of his thoughts, worry completely washing over his eyes

“where are you going?”

“im going home.” you say emotionlessly

“let me walk you”

“no”

and that was the last of it

he tried calling you several times after that yet all he was left with was your voicemail

every time he approached you at school, you would walk the other way

every day he would show up at the cafe hoping to see your face, yet that day never came because you stopped going

you figured it’d be easier to let him go if you just stayed mad at him

you figured that your feelings would automatically go away if you replaced them with hate

but reader, you were so wrong  

the day came when he finally had to go

that day was painfully hard for you

your whole class was bidding him goodbye, and all you could do was watch from the sidelines, your pride way too high to forgive him now

no one really knew about your guys’ fall out as you found it was better to keep things to yourself than become the schools new gossip

and so when everyone started asking you how you felt, you responded with the most generic answers

“whatever makes him happy, im happy”

oh reader, you are such a liar

it wasn't until a year after, that you truly forgave him

and that was because a classmate of yours barged into the room, waving her phone around

“Guys remember felix!, well he’s an idol now!!”

as soon as you got home that day, you searched up his name, and there he was

Lee Felix

Stray Kids

and you realized how stupid you’ve been

you never even bothered asking him why he was leaving

you cried yourself to sleep that night as you look back on the wasted friendship that you threw down the drain

but you figured that there was no point in being sad over it anymore

you were done holding grudges

so the next day you went back to the cafe and binged the survival show that your best friend, well ex best friend, was in

the sweet old day was overjoyed when she saw your familiar face

she asked you where your partner in crime was and with a genuine smile you responded with “he’s out there doing bigger and greater things”

ever since then, you made the cafe a weekly trip

it hurt you to know that you spent your time resenting him so you made a pinky promise to yourself, that even if he didnt know, you would support him no matter what

you ended up buying all their albums

watching their vlives

staying up late for their debuts

hell, you've even gon to the point of making a stan account just to be be updated

-

which brings you to now

you knew that felix was in australia, they were having a concert here

you even got a ticket for yourself, not close enough where he could see you of course

you were still ashamed of your actions even though it’s been almost two years

so when you walked in the cafe and saw him with his 8 buds seated in your guys’ usual spot, you definitely didn't know how to react

seeming as they haven't spotted you yet, you quickly made your way out the door

however, Elise, the sweet old lady, had other plans

“y/n, honey, leaving so quickly?”

and that was when 9 heads turned to the door

all 18 eyes just looking at you

‘fuck y/n okay just act cool’

‘youre fine’

‘maybe they don't even notice you’

‘omg speak’

“y/n?” felix says, his deep voice breaking you out of your thoughts

“felix?? Hi!!!” you say, giving him the biggest fake smile ever

it’s not that you wanted to okay, it was just a very awkward situation and you have no idea how to act

‘smooth y/n, so smooth’

I swear if you could facepalm yourself, you’d be doing so with both of your hands + the hands of the 7 billion people on this earth

“uhm hi?,” he replies, obviously confused as to why you suddenly acknowledged his existence

truth to be told, he was expecting you to ignore him just like all the other times before

“well, won't you look at that, my two musketeers are back together,” Elise butts in, 

“ah, it's just like the old days, would you guys like some cookies???” she says, a soft smile on her face

“no that's okay El, im heading out soon anyways, can i just have the usual caramel macchiato?” you say quickly, ignoring the awkward tension in the air

“sure thing hon”

and as she goes to the back to make your order, you were left with the 9 boys

welp

its now or never

“uhm, when did you get back?”

you ask, your hands automatically playing with the hem of your shirt, a clear sign that you were nervous

“im just here for the week”

“oh,,, nice”

“Yeah”

(>_<)

the other boys just sitting in silence, going back and forth between the two of you

they know exactly who you are, and trust me, they arent your biggest fans

which is exactly why they chose to not break the awkward tension in the air

and you swear, you wish you can just have the earth open up and swallow you whole

“hon, heres your order!”

oh thank god,,

Elise is your savior

even though you wouldnt even be in this situation if it wasnt for her

you quickly grab your drink and make your way out,,, but not before saying

“uhm, it was nice seeing you again lix,” you say, this time, a genuine smile on your face

◐ˍ◑

when felix heard the nickname that you've once given him, he couldn't believe his ears

great job reader, you’ve left him stunned

taking his silence as a response, cause youre kinda a dumbass, you nodded to him and the other boys and left the cafe

however as you made your way to your car

something clicked inside of you

,,,,

fuck it

,,,,

you ran back to the cafe, grabbing the door wide open at the same exact time that felix pushed it open

which caused him to stumble right on top of you, your coffee being thrown a whole meter away

at least it wasn't on your shirt

“omygod im so sorry! are you okay?” he asks, picking you up and checking you for bruises

and youve realized that he hasnt changed one bit

he’s still your best friend felix

the same felix that treats you with so much love and care

the same felix you fell in love with all those years ago

and you couldnt help but let out a tear

this worried felix even more

“what is it?? whats wrong???”

you were blown out sobbing at this point

“Im ๑•́ㅿ•̀๑) ᔆᵒʳʳᵞ ”

“huh??”

“im so sorry felix, i-”

your emotions not allowing you to create a single coherent sentence

but because felix still knew you like the back of his hand, he knew exactly what you were talking about

“lets go inside okay”

all you could do was nod and let him guide you to your usual spot that was now empty

grabbing a couple napkins, he wipes your tears away for you before you finally became conscious of what was happening and took control

“I didnt know you still came to this cafe?” he says, finally breaking the silence

“yeah uhm, i started coming back,”

“why?”

“I-i guess i just missed you”

“I thought you hated me”

“No,” you say quickly, that was the last thing you wanted him to think

“i didnt hate you, i was just angry and sad and i acted upon those emotions. I was stupid, im sorry”

“its okay, i understand, youre not stupid y/n”

god damn it,, 

why is this guy so nice,,

“no felix, it's not okay. we were best friends, i should have talked to you. I-i shouldnt have cut you off like that especially when i didnt even give you a chance to explain yourself”

damn okay reader, admitting to your mistakes, im p r o u d

“Its all in the past now y/n”

“can you forgive me for being a bitch?” 👉👈

This got a chuckle from felix

“as long as you can forgive me for keeping a secret from you” he replies, shooting you a smile

you smile back at him

“ive forgiven you a long time ago lix”

,,,,

,,,,

felix has stopped malfunctioning

“ive missed you,” he says grabbing your hand from across the table and holding it the way he used to

“ive missed you too,,, so much,,, im so proud of you,”

“proud of me?”

“yeah, youve finally done what youve always dreamt of”

“you know?”

“of course i know lix, youre everywhere!”

“it kinda sucks how you know whats been going on in my life and i dont know a single clue about yours”

“I can always catch you up!” you say excitedly, but as you see the sad smile that began to etch his way onto his face, you see that that’s not the case

“busy schedule?” you question

“yeah” he replies, the grip on your hand becoming tighter, almost like he doesnt want to let go

“thats okay, im sure we’ll find some time,” you say maintaining the positive energy

right on cue, chan peeps his head in the door

“Felix we have to go now, i tried convincing them to give you more time but were already running behind schedule”

“aish” felix replies as his tears suddenly made his way down

he gets up and pulls you into a bone crushing hug as you breathe in his scent, taking it all in

“im sorry i have to go so soon”

“thats okay felix, ill always be here”

“i hope i can see you again before I leave,”

“oh dont worry, you will” you say, a big smile on your face

“what do you mean?”

“just watch out for me at the concert, yeah?”

“youre coming???!!!!??”

“yep, already got my ticket!”

and you swear youve never seen felix smile so brightly before

“you pinky promise?”

“I pinky promise.”

[tzifron]

A Canadian Postal Worker’s Comments on the Strike

Hi.  

I am a postal worker and would like to take a moment of your time.  Unless you have been living in a cave in the mountains of West Virginia you will have no doubt heard that Canada Post and its employees are in the middle of contract negotiations and currently engaged in limited strike action.  The limited strike action I speak of is the rotating strikes and a refusal to work overtime.  These are designed to cause a slight delay in the mail stream that impacts management more than our customers, and to our customers, I am sorry for any slight delay you may experience but there is a reason why we are doing this.  

Part of the nature of the current conflict is that not only are our issues complex but so is the workforce itself, and by that I mean it is incredibly diverse.  Not only are we trying to negotiate 2 different contracts at the same time, but these contracts cover both RSMC and city workers which include both inside and outside workers, temporary employees, maintenance workers in addition to people who's job can be a combination of more then one classification.  Of course wages are an issue as they are with anyone and I wont pretend to say we wouldn't like a raise, however it is the working conditions that are much more important to us and something almost no one understands unless they work here.  Everyone can see how hard roofers and nurses work, but when you do the job, you gain a completely different understanding of what they go through.  

 Did you know that Canada Post does NOT receive funding from the government? There is a good chance you didn't.  All of Canada Post's revenue comes from the selling of stamps and shipping fees. We are self sufficient.   Even if you did know this, you might be surprised to know how many people do not know this.  

One of our major issues deals with staffing for both inside and outside workers.  There are many RSMC's in the country that still have to find their own replacements.  That means if you want to take a vacation, or get sick or injured that YOU have to find someone to sort and deliver your route.   Can you think of any other business like that short of being an independent contractor?  Keep in mind these are not contractors but Canada Post employees. If you cant make it to work for what ever reason, does your boss tell you it's your responsibility to find someone to do your work?  Canada Post has also agreed to a minimum staffing ration of permanent employees to temporary employees.  They have been ignoring this ratio for several years now.  

Staffing issues in general are also at the heart of the forced overtime issues.  Although many inside and outside (letter carrier) workers regularly volunteer for overtime it is the outside workers that are also FORCED to do overtime. This means that unless you have medical documentation stating that for health reasons you cannot do the overtime, you are forced to do it or face disciplinary action.  Did you make prior commitments for when you thought you would be off work such as picking up kids from daycare, or school or making a dentist or Dr. appointment?.  To bad, you have to change your life at the last min.  That being said, sometimes things happen that are beyond everyone's control, but I think you can agree that this shouldn't happen on a regular basis and there can be a better way to meet all of our customers delivery commitments.  

When it comes to being a temporary employee, I think most of us have been there, working mostly contract jobs or seasonal work.  The difference at Canada Post is that you just sit at home waiting for a phone call.  Most people will go months without getting that phone call for some work.  You might also work this week, but not the next 3 weeks, or at times, you may work for most of the year full time.  You never know.  You only get a call if and when they want you.  This makes it very difficult to plan out any sort of life.  Will you need a babysitter tomorrow?  You probably wont know until the very last minute of that day.

You may have heard the term “overburdening” mentioned by the union in the news but what does that really mean?  For letter carriers anyways, what that means is the overall work load and how the job is preformed.   Canada Post to their credit were at the forefront of job efficiency measurement at a micro level.  This is a very fancy way to saying every part of a letter carriers job was measured decades ago.  Every foot of distance on our route, every stair, gate, door, etc. is counted and assigned a time value.  Even how many letters per min we are supposed to sort is built into our day.  Part of the problem is sometimes these values go missing and so do not get counted in the making of new routes.  A more significant issue is that this system has not really been updated in decades despite the nature of how we do our job has changed a great deal.  

Nearly everyone will agree the number of letters we write and send each other has been in decline for a long time, but think of how many offers you get from your bank, or the dealership where you bought your car or some other business looking to make you a customer.  We still deliver all of those things yet most are not used in the calculations used to determine the size of our routes.  This has caused the size of a letter carriers route to grow dramatically.  Many routes are 3 times the size they were 20 years ago.   A letter carrier typically walks 20 km a day (5 days a week) and up and down 3000 to 5000 stairs while carrying the mail, flyers and packets/parcels for over 100 houses at a time.  This is a key reason why the injury rate for postal workers is 5 times higher then any other profession.  It is also a reason why letter carriers have more back, knee, hip and foot surgery then anyone else.  One simple fix to this would be to make the amount we deliver at one time less, such as 50 houses as opposed to 100 houses.   The opposition to this is because adding even just 6 extra stops would mean having to make the route shorter by 12 min (we get 2 min per loop stop to load up our satchel with mail).  I sounds like such a simple fix, and it is, but yet Canada Post says no. Part of the reason is that it would require updating and fixing 18,000 routes from coast to coast. An easy fix, but time consuming to implement and it is apparently less expensive to pay out disability cheques then to fix things.  It is also much easier to make someone do more in the same amount of time and reduce jobs.  In the end, it would also require hiring more employees but I guess they think it is such a horrible thing to employ people.  

The subject of the multiple bundle delivery method as a health and safety concern has been an ongoing fight with little change despite several arbitrator rulings in favor of the employees.  In order to fully explain the situation would require an essay unto itself but any letter carrier will gladly take the time to talk to you about it.  All you have to do is ask.

 On top of the mail and flyers, are all the things we deliver to you that you ordered from places like Amazon, or Allied express or Wish.  Delivering those items as well as the use of our scanner have almost no time value associated with them.  Despite every part of our job being measured to the second, the system has not been updated to properly include our new duties.  We are simply required to do them. If we do not get all of the work done, we get questioned as to why with very little concern to things such as the weather conditions and can face disciplinary action.  

This is a very simplistic overview of some of the issues currently being fought at the negotiating table, and I would hope it peeks your interest enough to ask your postal worker for more information.

We are your brothers and sisters, your neighbors and friends and in the end we simply would like to do our job feeling more like a person and less like a machine. 

We want to work and we love our job.  We love to be greeted by that lovable furball that wants to lick us to death when all we seem to have for you is a pizza flyer.  We wear our uniform with pride and in the end only want to be able to go home happy and injury free and not feeling defeated and broken, wondering how we will make it through tomorrow.  

Thank You for your time.

(Copy Pasted from Brother Arlyn Doran)

[tainbocuailnge]

My dude, my friend, my Fellow Cú Chulainn admirer, I started playing Granblue when there was the roulette and then stopped and now downloaded it again and I need to know: how tf do you actually play it? I see a lot of terms I have no clue what they mean and there's like a shitton of stuff to do and I don't know where to even start, what do I do

as a disclaimer it’s been a long time since I was in the early game myself so your mileage may vary. genuinely just do whatever you want tbh, there isn’t really anything you HAVE to be doing. that being said though:

first of all delete the app and just play it in your browser. the app is just a framework for the browser version anyway and it won’t be sitting on a bunch of your storage if you go to game.granbluefantasy.jp instead. when doing this on desktop, try getting your hands on viramate too. it’s technically not allowed since it’s a third party tool but it features a LOT of convenient UI and general QOL updates that make the game much easier to navigate. it’s the xkit of granblue.

in the early game you want to just click the ‘auto select’ button in the weapons tab of your party and then throw whoever you think is cutest out of what you have in a party and progress the main story as far as you can. don’t worry too much about elements yet because they’re not very important early on. your goal is to reach chapter 25, because at that point you will have access to all the omega raids.

once you reach rank 30 (which should happen naturally just from playing through the story because early rankups happen fast) you can start doing the omega raids. these are tiamat omega, colossus omega, leviathan omega, yggdrasil omega, luminiera omega (non-omega is called aversa), and celeste omega. each of these raids drop weapons which are used for the grids you will be using the majority of the early, mid, and even part of the lategame. I explained how it works in my grid building guide which you’ll find in my granblue advice tag. it may be a bit too much to take in in one go, that’s fine because it’s complicated. ask experienced players for specific advice when you get stuck.

pick ONE element to focus on and then do a fuckton of the corresponding raid, both hosting and joining. don’t worry about contributing yet because you won’t be able to anyway, getting one hit in and then going to the next raid is normal and expected for early players and stronger players will pick up the slack. use the drops from those raids to build a grid and develop your punching muscles.

while unite & fight is still going on, try hosting every difficulty raid at least once so you can get the reward crystals. see if you can defeat any, call for backup if you can’t. the tokens you get during this event can be exchanged in drawboxes containing so-called revenant weapons, pick the dagger and try to get at least four copies so you can fully uncap it. these weapons can be changed into any element under shop > weapon series > revenant weapons, and the dagger has an incredibly useful charge attack and can be used with enhancer/arcana dueler/dark fencer

try playing some of the side stories too, they give out a ton of free stuff as well as crystals to roll more characters with. as a rule you should save your crystals until there is a premium gala or flash gala going on, these happen once per month each and feature a pool of limited characters and doubled SSR rates. granblue’s pity system is that if you roll 300 times on the same banner you get to just pick any rateup item but you can start caring about that when you already have a decent roster

[reddeaddenial]

fragrance, poison, & contact (& flowers for u 🌸🌷💐🌺🌹🌼🌻) 💘

sdjfjkdshf you are the sweetest how are you even real omg ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

fragrance: what do your OCs smell like? 

Theo probably smells the cleanest tbh, since he’s often going to baths just to chat up the ladies and get the latest town gossip. So he probably smells like soap and whiskey. Man loves his booze lol

Leo is probably that old book smell with a combination of leather from polishing the saddles and whatnot. Very antique type scent I suppose :p Nick a very foresty smell from all his hunting travels, like the scent of fall leaves, but also with a hint of gunpowder.

poison: vices/bad habits? what are they? how do they affect your OC?

Theo does have a bit of dependency on alcohol but his brothers keep him in check, reminding him he doesn’t wanna end up like their father. But thankfully hes a rather giggly drunk than an angry one. 

Leo’s doesn’t really have much of a bad habit, but hes working on remembering to explain things. He’s a smart boy, extremely so but he sometimes gets oblivious and forgets that not everyone around him will know what hes talking about or be on the same page without saying anything. Its a bit of a miscommunication issue and the brothers have been encouraging him to talk more so its getting better :P

Nick’s a worrier, paranoid about all the what ifs, a big overthinker and looks at others with suspicion. The twins have been trying to get him to lighten up over time. It’s a process but hes working on not thinking so negatively. Also when he gets nervous he tears at his nails, so hes been trying to stop that as well. 

contact: how does your OC(s) feel about touch/physical contact? are they affectionate? if so, how do they display affection to others?

Oh man I answered a similar ask back during the beginning of my blog but it was for general physical contact. I can build from that, but heres that post first!: 

“General contact is different between others and among themselves. Nicholas and Leonard are not very touchy among acquaintances or even friends. If Nick gives you a pat on the back, or touches your arm, call that the ultimate win. Leo is just nearly the same, but takes longer for him to warm up to someone. Theo on the other hand, is a lot more friendly and has no qualms about getting in your personal bubble. He honestly doesn’t mind physical contact, unless its in a violent manner of course. 

Among themselves though, the twins will always have an arm on the others shoulder or on Nick. If they’re sitting down next to each other, the twins will just sorta lean against each other without thinking, especially if they’re tired. They’ve just been that way since they were kids. Nick on the other hand, he doesn’t really initiate physical contact, but when its his brothers, he doesn’t pull away from it either. In a sense, with all the shit they’ve been through and roughin’ it out in the west for a decade, the contact is just this soothing brotherly gesture they’ve all gotten use to. May look strange to some outsiders, grown brothers leanin’ on each other like they’re still kids, but they don’t give a shit, it’s none of their damn business anyways.”

SO yeah! updates and changes to that:Nick would let someone touch him if he really really trusted you. And he’s like, touch starved so hes sensitive to little things. Which btw, running a hand through his hair would just turn him into a puddle of goo. Completely relaxed, most relaxed hes been in years. But yeah, only a romantic interest could ever get away with that level of touching. 

Theo is an affectionate bean. Like he can read people well so if he can tell they wouldn’t mind him in their personal space, he’ll get close. Bump shoulders playfully, pats on the arm, maybe lean on them when hes in hysterics after a joke or something. That also means he’s more than happy for someone to act just as close to him too. He quite enjoys it, makes him feel welcome and needed. 

Leo is very anti touch, like he wont push it away but he will tense up and be very uncomfortable until he can politely disengage from the situation. He would look to Nick for judgement on someones character. Like if he sees Nick give a friendly pat of approval to someone he trusts, then Leo in his own time may do the same. Maybe. Unless it’s someone he’s crushin’ on then he wants some of that scandalous hand holding lol

[teanaoverton]

still swimming.

i thought the first year of law school was suppose to be the toughest.  that was not the case for me. 

this past semester, the first of my 2L year was the most trying experience of my life. and sheesh, i have dealt with a lot of experiences. 

before we go any further, i think its important to tell you a little about myself and warn you of some contents that this post will contain. 

i am brutally honest. i dont believe in sugar coating the truth, and so i wont.  this post may be triggering to anyone who has every experienced sexual assault and/or sexual harassment. this post is my truth. and if you havent noticed by now, i do not like capital letters or formal punctuation. and i also cant spell. 

anyway, back to the story. 

the beginning of the semester started off rocky. i worked for my school and assisted with many task including orientation for the first year students and the title ix policy updates (thanks betsy *eyeroll*). 

unfortunately, i had to use that title ix policy. 

at the end of july, my key card to get in and out of my school’s parking deck was not working properly. i expressed my concern to a security officer. instead of walking to the gate, he walked with me to the parking deck and followed me to my car. we were the only two in the parking deck. 

while at my car, he asked me on a date. i was not interested in the slightest. but hey, im a girl all alone in the parking deck with a security guard. i had just heard about a woman getting killed for rejecting a man. and i sure tf have no lived enough to die. so i told him that school was starting soon and i did not have time. smooth escape i thought. and i also thought that would be it, i was wrong. 

the next week, i left the second floor (where i worked) to go downstairs and get a snack from the vending machines. he saw me and ran to try and pay for my snack, thoughtful gesture, but i refused as i did not want to lead him on. he then followed me to the elevators and handed me a note with his number on it. 

i had to cross paths with him to get to work, and he would make comments to me. once in particular troubled me.“you dont work on wednesdays, we could go out on a wednesday.” and that is when a red flag went off for me. 

why do you know my work schedule? ive already said i wasnt interest, why are you still actively pursing me? so i told my friend/co-worker about the interactions and asked her to walk me to my car.

while working late one evening, he came to the suite and started talking and staring. it was after hours and he was no longer on the clock. the other security officer on duty was probably home with his feet kicked up by this hour. instead of doing the same... he came to “see what was going on.” being aware of the situation and that i was uncomfortable, my friend engaged in the conversation so i didnt have to. bless her. 

during orientation, we had leftover food. my boss at the time asked me to take some to the security officers. my friend and i locked eyes knowing i sure tf was not about to lead this man on by any means. so, that is when i told my boss at the time that i was good off doing that. if you know who my boss was, you know she will get the truth out of you. 

one thing lead to another and boom, the incidents were reported to HR. who i was required to meet with. during the first week of classes, i met both HR and my boss to reassure them that i was not looking to get a black man fired, i just wanted to be left alone. 

time went by, nothing happened. i still was uncomfortable passing the security desk. i would have friends walk with me to the car so i wouldnt be alone bc guess who did rounds in the parking deck, yeah. you guessed it, him. 

unfortunately, my request was not fulfilled. he did not leave me alone. i was required to do a tabling event for work. guess where that tabling event was? right across from the security desk. gr8!!! he looked at me and loudly started saying "i shouldn't have to come to work and be uncomfortable.” he said this several times, causing others in the area to look and see what was going on. 

again, the tabling event was for work (different job btw). i was sitting next to my boss who was unaware of the previous interactions. she too asked “why is he screaming like that?” 

i sat there in shock. in silence. and on the clock, so i couldnt leave. 

why. should. he. have. to. come. to. work. and. feel. uncomfortable.

that was it, my breaking point. i felt unsafe. i expressed my concerns to the appropriate parties. eventually time went on and he was transferred. 

shortly after, repressed memories of my childhood rape surfaced during a therapy session. along with many thoughts: was i over exaggerating? did i lead him on in anyway? could i have done more to let him know i wasnt interested before reporting the incidents? was this my fault? 

guilt. 

i lost track of what was happening in real life because i was so distracted by the thoughts in my head. but as soon as i gained back some control, real life hit me again. my legal writing assignment had been posted. and guess what the topic was? sexual harassment in the work place. 

you mean to tell me, i have to do research, write a brief, and have an oral argument about sexual harassment? shit, someone call my therapist. 

i wrote some shit on some paper. and that was that.  what was happening in my classes? no clue.  what was happening in my life? no clue.  what was going on in the world? no clue. 

i got lost again. 

i just wanted to float and let the current carry me for awhile. i wanted to watch the clouds chase each other into different corners of the sky like freed kites who never worry about the meaning of away. i wanted to float. ive been swimming so long. 

but my thoughts eventually had an off switch and i was good again. then guess what? 

kavanaugh. 

here we fucking go again. 

the student body president signed an aba petition to conduct an impartial hearing on kav. and for some reason, some students were pissed. so they took it upon themselves to write a petition to have the sba president remove his name from the aba petition and issue an apology. 

i need you to pay very close attention for this part. 

i sat in class triggered. surrounded by people signing this petition while tears poured down my face. how fucking disgusting are you people. 

now the only reason i know what the petition actual was is because i am in sba. otherwise, i would have no clue it ever existed. want to know why? because the students who wrote the petition never asked me to sign it. trust me, i am not offended. in fact, im honored that they knew better than to bring some bullshit like that to me. but what was upsetting, when another student asked what was going on (why everyone was gathered looking at the petition), the authors of it said  “we’re just looking at some stuff about aba accreditation.” 

baby, if you gonna talk about it. be about it. smh. 

the petition surfaced. and the names on it, wow. people i looked up to. people i considered role models. women who are allegedly advocates for women. women in general. even a few self-proclaimed feminist.

wow. the names. 

so many people who have reached out to me when i told my story about being raped as a child. so many people i believed would be there for me if i asked for help dealing with the recent sexual harassment. so many frauds. 

their names, they were on it. big and bold.  

i didnt want to float anymore. i wanted to drown. 

i was suffering. isolating myself from everyone. i did the absolute bare minimum. i distanced myself from my family, my friends, from everyone around me. 

i didnt read for any of my classes.  i stopped caring.  i had thoughts about dropping out of school.  i still have the withdrawal email in my draft. 

i want to give someone credit for helping me through this, but i cant. this ocean, its so big. but hell, i havent drowned yet. 

meanwhile, im still swimming.

[misterbitches]

@flootweed ​

ATOTS

That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they

not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.

WBL

haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :) 

ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...

and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.

i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.

however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess. 

i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will. 

i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.

alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks

LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has  a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.

pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore  uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it? 

yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.

 i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.