#anyway i love that my coworkers are amused by what i say and don't give looks when i avoid words like boyfriend/husband etc

[threadmonster]

Today I told my coworker that if I was somebody's wife, I would still say "I'm nobody's wife, this is my person." And I would say that in front of that person.

[sheyfu]

"i love you."

"what do you want? a massage? food? money? orrrr do you have a fever right now, dan heng?" you place a hand on his forehead, trying to find out if he actually does have a fever or just really sleep deprived.

it's not everyday dan heng acts like this. heck, it's even weirder as you two haven't even gotten to that kind of relationship.

"your skin is cool, and you don't seem to need anything other than, uhm.. sleep?" scratching your head, you look at him dumbfoundedly, trying to find out what the hell was happening to dan heng.

"i love you." cold dragon young says with more conviction as he stakes a step closer to you.

now that's suspicious.

"uhmmmm.. are you really sure you're okay?" worriedly, you place your hand on his forehead again, double checking to see if he was actually okay. "dan heng, please tell me if you're not feeling well-"

"i love you. i love you so much i can't even take it. every time i see you, my heart skips a beat, my breath gets caught in my throat, my hands start shaking like some fucking washing machine. you're so beautiful. too beautiful to the point that i want to throw myself out of the express because my brain goes into overdrive like 'bazinga'. i love you so much. i love you so very much to the point where i want to give everything up just to take care of you. i want to give you flowers, i want to hug you, kiss you, dance in the rain with you-"

"okay, cut! what the hell was that, dan heng? i thought we were supposed to film an introductory video for the belobog music festival and not a confession video??" a confused march 7th asks in the distance---a deep, scarlet blush coating her cheeks as she processes what the fuck just happened.

"hmm. how romantic." welt yang nods his head in approval. clearly proud of his (son) friend.

"i never knew you could be this sappy, dan heng~" himeko lets out a giggle, clearly amused with his spontaneous confession.

"sigh" a tired pom-pom expresses, head low as they walk back to the conductor’s carriage.

"did pom-pom just say 'sigh' and then actually sighed?"

"not a word, trash bomb man!"

"damn pom-pom. what did i do to you?!" caelus drops to his knees as he bangs on the floor. crocodile tears flowing from his eyes as he takes in the "betrayal" of their dear conductor.

"a- anyways.. let's do this again, shall we? by again, i mean introducing yourselves and.. a- and not.. confessing?" letting out a nervous chuckle, march sets up her camera, preparing to take another shot.

meanwhile, both of you and dan heng are left to bask in each other's embarrassment.

"soooooo" you let out a nervous chuckle. "was that, you know, uhh, part of the script? did march give you the wrong script to mess with you?" looking at his face for answers, you're left disappointed as the same, uninterested expression stays on his face.

after a few moments of awkward silence, march finally calls out your attention.

thank god, march! if it weren't for you, i would've already called [omi] to swallow me whole!

"get ready! remember, an introduction video. have some decorum! we can't let the whole of jarilo-vi catch us lacking~ anyways, on the count of three. one, two-"

"i mean it by the way." dan heng cooly says as he returns back to his original position.

"three!"

"WHAT?!"

"hey! i thought i said decorum!"

well, having no decorum is better than accidentally confessing to your crush in front of your (parents) coworkers anyway. right, dan heng?

[omi] - part of mother yn's kit; a void she can summon to eat her enemies up (kinda looks like ix and is very cutesy pie mhm)

[mins-fins]

daydream — [ huang renjun — 엔시티. ]

where huang renjun knows exactly what he wants.. he just can't say it | now playing ✯

walking out on his unwanted date is surely rich, but renjun has much more important things to worry about.

leaves crunch under his shoes as he nears the familiar bus stop, lips pursued and hands remarked by the sandal of his bag. if they're bruised red, he'll worry about that later.

he stops by the mini entrance, the sky shrouded in darkness, seems the stars have receded tonight. he leans against the cold metal, smile neutral. "um.. hey".

you glance up instantly, the freezing wind brushing past you two making your hair lift in a manner reminiscent of a slow motion movie shot. it's cute. "you just get off work?"

your nod is slow. "yeah".

he scratches at the side of his arm, anxiety creeping up behind him like a surprise. "can i join you?"

your smile is a beautiful response, and you scoot over to make space for him, your shoulders lightly brushing against each other as he sits. the smoke from your cigarette continues wafting into the air, but you don't take another hit. "no good night kiss?" you begin, tease on the tip of your tongue.

renjun has half a mind to chuckle at that one, his eyes flitting in another direction. "no" he shakes his head, eye roll barely visible. "too busy judging his strange meal choices.."

you snort at the reply, a snort that gets a laugh out of renjun, you find that much funnier than you probably should've. "okay, if you want good tempura, i know this great soba place you should try".

renjun again laughs, his smile full of pure euphoria. shit, he doesn't remember the last time he smiled so hard. "i'll keep that in mind".

a small silence settles between you two, renjun entertaining himself by reading the labels on the nearby pole. another smile again blossoms onto his features, the street lamp cascading over you makes you appear almost angelic in a sense. "i don't remember the last time i've laughed so hard.." he places a hand on his knee.

you glance his way, and he continues: "it's been a while since i've been able to.. just be myself".

your smile is inviting and renjun simply snickers at his circumstances. "and how long have i been dating these assholes? trying to give love a shot".

the touch of your shoulder is a comforting sense, and you simply suck your teeth. "i get what you mean, he wasn't your thing anyway".

renjun's shoulders raise in amusement. "don't even know what my thing is anymore".

you nudge him lightly, an action that passes as an affectionate gesture. "hey i never got.. uh— your name, your real name" you chuckle in between terms. "you know i'm always calling people mr that or mrs this".

renjun finds his giggles endless tonight. "renjun".

your eyebrow raises, cigarette still tucked between your fingertips. "renjun?.. um, benevolent?"

he clears his throat. "it also means kind or handsome".

you hum, taking another hit of your cigarette as you blow the smoke out between your lips. "that checks out.."

his eyes can't exactly widen subtly, and you catch sight of it, because your both quick to burst into resounding laughter. "it's— it's a beautiful name is what i mean!" you hide your mouth behind your hand, but renjun's smile doesn't falter.

his snickers continue for a few seconds, and while it seems impossible, he manages to avoid eye contact. "thank you.. um, uh— i'm sorry, what's your name?"

you chuckle before even beginning your reply. "y/n".

renjun knows, he already knows, he's read your name tag more times than he can count. he's heard your hoard of coworkers shout it more times than he can count, each time his eyes trail you leaving your shift at the restaurant, he can't help but feel the taste of your name on the tip of his tongue.

he stares down at the ground for a few seconds, pressing his feet together. "have you always noticed me?"

maybe he's getting cocky, but maybe he also just wants it. renjun can't exactly put it into words, but he so badly wants to know. your nod is so reassuring he smiles before you even utter a reply. "yeah, yeah i always do".

renjun straightens up in his seat. "i'm sure you meet tons of people per day i shouldn't exactly stand out—"

"well you aren't exactly hard to miss".

in a sea of faces, you choose to remember his.

"do you take the bus here?" is his next choice of inquiry, hands gripping at his sides.

"yep, every single day".

renjun bites at his inner cheek. "you don't have to wait her—"

"i want to" he's quick to respond, keeping his hands at his sides.

you place your own into your lap, just barely biting back your smile as silence drifts again. "i'm starving" you opt to state, fingers gripping at the sides of your jacket.

now it's renjun's turn to nudge you. "maybe you can show me that soba place".

it's an offer that's much too enticing for you to turn down, and your smile simply grows wider. "sure".

and yeah, maybe two dates in the same night isn't exactly the way to go, but there's a difference, huang renjun is 100% sure he wants you.

[wowcatboys]

aki w a housewife!s/o like a sweet wife he comes home to after a long day at work ! yknow :) someone to help him wind down with a nice home cooked meal <33

Aki

Aki isn't quite sure how he managed to obtain something so peaceful and domestic, but he cherishes you, and the home you two have created, a lot. The first thing he does each morning is roll over in bed and give you a kiss. He likes to wake up before you so that he can make the both of you breakfast (he knows that if he sleeps in, you'll beat him to it and he'll wake up to omurice in bed). Aki pours a cup of tea and you enjoy breakfast on the back deck, chatting quietly about your plans for the day while you watch the sun come up. He relishes this slice of domesticity he gets to experience with you each morning, before work shatters the illusion of peace.

He knows that you don't mind scrubbing the blood out of his button-downs or patching the holes torn in his pants, but Aki always keeps a spare change of clothes at work anyway. He doesn't want you to worry when you see how beat-up he gets at work sometimes. Obviously, he can't hide his injuries, but the ruined clothes—those he can hide. If they're easily salvageable he'll just bring it to a dry cleaner's, but if not, they go in the trash. He comes home with a scraped face but clean clothes, and he always shrugs and says he's just careful if you question it.

Someone gave you an apron as a wedding present and Aki thinks you look just adorable in it. Whenever you're in the kitchen, he always sneaks up behind you and undoes the knot to tease you.

Aki appreciates everything you do for him, but above all else he loves when there's a warm bath ready for him after he stumbles home from a stressful day. If he calls you during his lunch, already sounding ragged at noon, you know just what to do. By the time he's home, you've gotten a lavish bath ready for him--candles, Epsom salts, soothing music, the whole nine yards. He takes a good ten minutes to just soak and decompress, and then Aki insists you get in with him.

It doesn't matter if you're the worst cook on planet Earth, Aki will still eat your dinner every night and swear to you that it's the best thing he's ever tasted. He knows the effort that cooking takes and he's not about to criticize you. (But, if you can't seem to make a boiled egg without...somehow...burning it, he may gently give you a few pointers in the kitchen.)

If you're a good cook, though, Aki lets you know it. There's never, ever leftovers from dinner and he always reaches for seconds or thirds.

Aki will love you forever if you meal prep for him. He doesn't mind eating out, but a home-cooked lunch always tastes better. If you really want to make him happy, include some sweets and a sticky note saying "You're the best! <3".

Aki's favorite excuse for avoiding social events is that you're at home, waiting for him with a nice dinner on the table. "Oh, no thanks," he says, whenever someone asks if he'd like to go for drinks or see a movie with a group of friends or coworkers. "My spouse and I already have dinner plans."

Even though you're at home taking care of the house while he works, Aki refuses to let you do all of the housework. "I live here too, dear," he points out if you protest when he starts wiping down the counters after dinner. "It's not fair to make you pick up after all of my messes."

Aki likes to leave little doodles on the grocery list for you. Typically, it's small things like hearts or short messages like 'Hope you're having a good day', and 'Your husband loves u!'. Once he got especially creative and drew an incredibly lopsided squid next to the bullet point for calamari. Amused, you keep the little scribble stuck to the fridge.

More often than not, Aki brings home flowers for you. It's a signal of his appreciation. Even if a handful of daisies isn't much, he doesn't like coming home empty-handed to a delicious meal on the table and a gorgeous spouse. Surely, he should have something to give in return. Smitten, you put the flowers in a vase and plop them in the center of the table so you can admire them while you eat.

Aki is absolutely besotted with you and will do literally anything you ask. After all, you've given him so much—a home, love, a sense of peace. And that's just the big things; considering the small, everyday gestures of care like clean, folded handkerchiefs, warm ramen, and soothing baths, makes him feel like he owes you the world. You'd like your feet rubbed? Aki's on his knees with a bottle of lotion. You see a shirt you like in a store window? He's already rifling through his pockets for his wallet. You'd like to take a trip with him? Just tell him when and where, and he'll do whatever it takes to get the time off from work.

[valeskakingdom]

Sneaky Pete (part39)

“Where are Andy and Scarlet?" You heard Fish Mooney yell through their residence. She has heard about the made attempt on people's lives. She wasn't amused about that at all, that was not her plan! She planned to rebuild her empire and gain more people - and not start to harm people!

"They're upstairs, I guess," You heard Sid say "Probably fucking according to the noises" It was true, they were fucking, and that was not very silent.

Ever since they started these assassins, Andy and Scarlet were full of joy, satisfaction, even happiness, and especially lechery. Whenever they saw people screaming, crying, panicking, or even bleeding it aroused them both more than watching some usual porn or else. They both were full of lust and they couldn't hold it back - and they didn't even want to hold this amazing feeling back. They started at that place where certain actions happened by making out, teasing, and penetrating each other at its worst to then let it all out in bed at home. They didn't care whether the others would hear them, oh no, they wanted to be heard. Sometimes they exaggerated certain things to be extra loud.

Instead of an answer, you heard aggressive footsteps, storing upstairs to both love birdies.

It was almost scary how fast and aggressively Fish was stomping. You could feel her rage literally; when you just looked at her you saw this fire in her dark eyes that would love to destroy the whole area - and she wouldn't hold back a single thing.

"Andy! Scarlet!" Fish slammed the door open when she caught Andy eating Scarlet out "What the-... Oh, you're busy?!"

"Obviously," Scarlet groaned, rolling her eyes in annoyance. Fish was such a mood killer, especially now "Just leave it be, Andy. Someone's just killed the mood" She tapped on his head, signaling him to stop, and pushed him slightly away from her "I assume you wanna talk about some certain things?"

"Oh, hi Fish," Andy panted with a slight chuckle and wiped Scarlet's juices from his mouth "What's up?"

"I'll tell you what's up! You make attempts on people's lives without telling a single thing! This was not the plan! What were you thinking?! We had a deal, Andy! We're not here to spread fear and terror!" Fish yelled angrily.

"I think we've got some other plans, Fish," Scarlet smirked, facing her "See, your plans of rebuilding your empire seemed a little boring. We wanted more. And how do you get more?"

"By breaking the rules and making plans" Andy grinned wide "Why should we miss all the fun we could have for some boring plans, we don't profit from anyway?"

"You stay silent! You've got what you wanted and now you take the responsibility for the mess she has made!" Fish kept yelling, she knew it was all Scarlet's fault. She changed Andy's mind with her weird thoughts and visions. She was manipulative, she was brainwashing him until he'd agree with her, and she used the advantage of him loving her for her good. She knew how to seduce him, to drive him nuts with all the teasing - and of course, it worked.

"What mess?" Scarlet chuckled devilishly "I thought I give him a little upgrade, you know. He indeed became a talented boy after his little therapy session in Arkham. The only thing that was lacking was his provident thinking, which luckily I have taught him" Scarlet grabbed Andy's chin, pulled him to her, and kissed him "You should thank me for that Fish. I fixed a little problem"

"You didn't fix a problem, you caused one!" Fish didn't find the right words so upset she was. She'd love to yell more and more things at her but what should she start with?

"Is that so?" Scarlet frowned "Let's figure it out. Andy is your coworker with a problem. I recognized this problem and fixed it. You should be proud of me. I made him a better worker. The things he does autonomously, that's not my problem. I'll just try to support him and lead him on the right way"

"Your way never was the right way, Scarlet" Fish grumbled "Your way is manipulative an-..."

"But your way is the right one?" Scarlet scoffed "I think your way is pretty much the same as mine, maybe a little less violent. But see, we both follow the same target"

"I don't manipulate people for one's good. I created them, and I helped them. I gave them a new home, I gave them food, I gave them water to drink, I allowed them to be themselves, and they thanked me for it! And you? No, you trample on it as if it was nothing! You don't even appreciate all the work I've done for you, no you are like a baby without a feeling of satiety" Fish huffed.

"Hm," Scarlet acted like she was thinking "But I remember that I've never asked for all this. I remember that you've agreed to Andy's idea of kidnapping me and letting me rot in a little cell in the cellar. And then you expect me to obey? That's a little overcharged, don't you think?"

She then got up from the bed to get dressed. She knew what was coming next now. Fish would want to keep arguing and it would end up like this: either Scarlet would be brought back into the cell to rot, or she needed to apologize and needed to accept to be a simple worker instead of an authority - and this was ineligible. So, she had a better idea. Instead of becoming punished, she will punish Fish. She wouldn't kill Andy or her coworkers or burn the residence down - that would have no real effect on her. No, Scarlet would go far further. She would try to hit one of Fish's weakest spots - and she knew how.

"What are you doing, babe?" Andy frowned confused when he watched Scarlet dressing up. It seemed like she was about to leave. But would she leave? Just because of an angry Fish Mooney? That wouldn't fit with her. She's got a too-big narcissistic streak to do that.

"I'm doing the next step, what else do you think?" Scarlet pulled her pants up shortly before she walked up to Fish "I wanna make you an offer, my love" Now Fish was listening, but at the same time, she knew she couldn't trust Scarlet at all. She was playing with her mind again. But what was it this time?

"I know what I've done caused many problems in your little head and I know the eventual consequences, so I'll offer you that I'll leave," She paused.

"What?!" Andy couldn't believe what he has heard. She would leave? Without him? She would leave him alone with Fish? After all the things they've done together?

"Hear me out," Scarlet smiled as she saw Fish looking a little skeptical "See, I noticed this team-working stuff is not my thing. I'm a leader, I need to go my way instead of adapting it for others. But," She then deeply eyes Fish "Disturbing me in some business is not acceptable. And since I'm in a little revenge mood according to the shitty start with us, I thought about this: I will leave and will make you feel as horrible as I felt when I was trapped downstairs"

"You'll fail it," Fish hissed with gritted teeth "You know nothing about me that would harm me in any way"

"Is that so?" Scarlet chuckled "A little bird told me I can. I know myself it wouldn't hurt you if I killed Marv, Sid, or even Andy. I also know that it doesn't hurt you that I'm leaving. What hurt you though, will be the news that comes up when I'll tell everyone I killed our pretty major Oswald Cobblepot"

When Fish heard that, she was shocked. Sure Oswald and she had their difficulties but she still loves him like her own son since she created him how he now was. Seeing or knowing that somebody would hurt him - would tear her heart in two just like Scarlet wanted.

"According to your reaction and your shocked gaze, I'd say it works," Scarlet grinned devilishly "Time for me to make things true, right?" She grabbed all her equipment from the little table that stood in the room, winked at Andy and Fish one last time, and exited the room. Of course, she wouldn't kill Oswald. He was still her friend. She would tell him the things she has experienced like that Andy played with the thought of killing Oswald to call Scarlet his own. And so, she would politely ask him to help her kill Andy. It would be a little pity for her since Andy was a perfect coworker, but killing a good friend? Nah.

"Scarlet, wait!" Andy hurried to take his clothes on and ran after her. He didn't want her to leave at all, she should stay with him! She belonged to him! She and he were meant to be "I come with you! I'll help you!"

"This time I prefer to go alone on this little trip" Scarlet turned to Andy who gave her a confused and maybe a little shocked look. What does that mean she wants to go alone?!

"What?! But-..." Andy couldn't even find the right words "You can't leave! You need to stay! You need to stay with me! There's so much we have to do together!"

"This is your world, Andy, not mine. You can stay there and work for her, but this is only your destiny. My destiny sees me as a loner who's feared by every single person in this goddamn town. I'm not here to work with anybody," She stepped to him and cupped his cheek "But if your little heart wants me to be with you, go out in this town and find me. I'm not far away"

"No," Andy gave her a blank look, grabbing her wrist tight, and pulled her close to him "We're meant to be! See, Jerome died since he's not destined to be your little lover. It's me! And this means you stay with me!"

"You're not destined to be my lover, Andy" Scarlet chuckled bitterly "You're just a little boy toy for me, like a little puppy that's running after me as if it couldn't live without me." She tore her hand away from his "I don't belong to anyone"

"You do! Why else would destiny bring us together again? We are the Bonnie and Clyde of Gotham!" He grabbed her throat to signal his enormous dominance over her, but instead of seeing a feared and scared look, he saw a maniacal smile on her face - and not only that. She even dared to squeeze his throat with her tiny hand grip to loosen his grip from her throat - and it worked.

"I'm truly surprised by your possessiveness over me, darling," Scarlet hissed through her gritted teeth "Sadly I need to tell you, I'm better off alone. I can't use ticks like you" She had to get rid of him anyhow, she needed to be alone when she headed to Oswald. She mustn't have a witness she didn't kill Oswald at all.

"That's not the end, bitch! I'll find you!" Andy grumbled almost aggressively "And then I'll take you back with me"

"Oh, we play a little game! Fine with me," Scarlet smirked, loosening her grip from his throat as well "But for that, you need to find me" Then she started to walk away from him "Now back off!"

***

"I hope you're not out," Scarlet sighed when she pressed the doorbell on Oswald's house. She was out of breath, so she formally ran to him as fast as possible. She needed to speak to him right now. She had to tell him all the stuff that happened, especially that Andy was now his biggest danger.

Then suddenly the door opened - it was Oswald, luckily. He was dressed up in a black tuxedo and wore some pretty expensive shoes, you could assume. He eventually dressed up for something.

"Scarlet?" He frowned in surprise, it's been a long time for them, and especially after their little dispute, he expected it to be over between them "Wow, uhm... You were the last person I expected to see. It's been a while isn't it?"

"Indeed, but I needed to see you," Scarlet looked around to make sure no one was following or observing her for the moment "May I come in?"

"Scarlet, I'm invited to an important meeting in a few minutes. I-.."

"It's for your safety. I don't care whether you listen to me or not" Scarlet stated with a serious tone "And time is running so can I come in or not?"

"It's funny to hear that from you," Oswald let her inside his residence "You know, the last time you dwelled in here I was afraid you wanted to kill me and now you warn me for my safety"

"Things have changed," Scarlet sighed, facing him "You're the mayor of Gotham now. The most important member of Gotham's community, as the ultimate target for people like Andy and me. The fact you've been annoying me with your paranoia attacks could give me a reason to kill you, but since I know it's just the peak of an iceberg of your upcoming problems I will yield and forgive you."

"What do you mean by upcoming problems?" Oswald furrowed his broad irritated while taking a seat on the big table that was placed in the room.

"Well, ever since I've been living with Fish and Andy I've found out some things that might interest you," Scarlet took a seat next to him "Fish isn't the one you need to be scared of, it's Andy, as I've told you. I found out he's become pretty obsessed with me after he did this strange therapy in Arkham. He tried to copy Jerome in the hope that I'd become attached to him, as well"

"I figured he's caught some feeling for you in Arkham," Oswald said "He's been pretty protective over you from one moment to another"

"I know," Scarlet scratched her head "On the day I left, I talked to him to make sure he was fine but it turned out he tricked me. He kidnapped me on the street with some men and brought me to Fish's residence where I lived in the cellar for several days or weeks. And there I found out why. He kept me in this little cell to get this feeling of me being his priority. I should be his little toy to play with, I should be the one that always stayed with him"

"He's almost equal to Jerome as far as I can remember him,” Oswald commented.

“He's not,” Scarlet faced him “He tries to be a cheap copy of him. He tries to act like him and tries to do the things Jerome did. But it's not the same. It's not satisfying, it's annoying. The only thing they may have in common is this almost vicious possessiveness toward me. And that's why Andy wants to you”

“W-what?” Oswald asked shocked and quite irritated “I-I don't understand, what do I have to do with you? I mean, we do not liaise or-..."

"That's not the point. Andy sees you as a rival because you're the only that could keep me away from him. You're the thorn in his side,” Scarlet said “And of course, he needs to erase this little thorn”

This made Oswald think. How would he stay save from him? He could wait for him anywhere in Gotham, and he knew Scarlet wouldn't be there for him. She would probably stay hidden in any dark lane where no one would look for her. And Ed, he had no time for saving Oswald since he was on cloud nine. He had just time for his new lover. His other men were too weak to defeat Andy definitely, so Oswald couldn't count on them.

“I know you worry about your safety,” Scarlet coughed slightly “I would too if I were you. Andy turned into a strong and not to be underestimated psychopath. He's capable of anything”

“And what do you suggest we do now?” Oswald asked a little worried “I-I mean, I can't just for him to attack me and then try to stab him”

“But I can. I just need you as a little distraction,” Scarlet smirked “See, you keep on doing the stuff you do and I will watch you a little - like a little bodyguard, you know. I will wait for the moment when Andy and his men try to attack you and then I'll knock them out”

“Scarlet, with due respect but I don't think you can take it up with several mutants and him. You need help” Oswald sighed. He knew Scarlet was capable of many things but not of everything. With this, she needed help somehow “At least some of my men could watch me, too, and help you a little out”

“Don't underestimate me, my friend,” Scarlet grinned “I know a way to eradicate them all”

[sirenascales]

-> double black [part one] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPov!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

A night out drinking leads to a small misunderstanding with a handsome, yet dangerous man. [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader]

3,894 words

note: edited this so it could still be read as a reader fic! it's actually a lot of fun writing in first person! hope those who read this enjoy my first bsd fic!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist

I've experienced a lot of amazing things since I've moved to Japan. A new job in a different country, new co-workers and friends, work parties, themed bars, cafes, and hookups with pretty strangers. There was a long list of great things I've had going on, and a long list of things I've never expected... and being fired from the job I had for a year was not one of them.

"A year of hard work... for nothing," I mumbled bitterly as I sat at the bar with my close friend, and now ex-coworker, Keiko. She was beautiful, with long black hair and brown eyes. She frowned, a sympathetic look on her pretty face as she sighed.

"I'm so sorry," she said softly, giving my shoulder a squeeze. "I'm sure you'll find something else soon! You have an awesome resume, and you're an amazing worker who can speak English, Japanese AND Spanish... there is totally a place for you out there!"

Keiko has always been supportive and enthusiastic, a really bright and friendly girl who made it her mission to befriend me as soon as I started working with her. She was relentless, and soon enough, I found myself spending many hours with the woman.

"Yeah..." I just mumbled again and she laughed softly.

"It's okay to mope... that's why I brought you here!"

"Yeah, about that," I started, sending Keiko a look as I swiveled the stool so my body faced her. "Why did you bring me here?" As soon as the work day was done, Keiko immediately dragged me to what was clearly a mafia bar. That didn't surprise me, since she was actually dating a mafioso.

A mafioso, who was part of the Port Mafia. It wasn't long after I moved to Yokohama that I started to hear stories about the organization, and was also warned not to cross them. Of course, with my luck, I became best friends with someone who dated someone who was in the Port Mafia. How a sweet girl like Keiko ended up with a man like him, I'll never know.

What I do know is that Taichi adored Keiko, gave her everything she could possibly want and need with the money he makes, and that was just being a normal grunt! Even so, it was dangerous, but Keiko didn't seem to mind.

"I come here with Taichi all the time," Keiko answered, sipping her drink. I turned to sip on my own. "You can't tell me it isn't luxurious." It was. My jaw had dropped to the floor when we first stepped into the very luxurious bar. "Don't worry about it, okay? Drink your sadness away! You're safe here. Since I am Taichi's woman, and you're with me, nothing will happen, okay?"

"Where is Taichi anyway?" I asked, glancing over her shoulder when I spotted a group of men walking in through the entrance. I missed the way the light left Keiko's eyes, chewing on her bottom lip anxiously. My eyes were on the men, which in the middle was a man with orange hair, a black hat adorning his head. I felt my breath hitch in my throat, my eyes looking at the very handsome man up and down. I swallowed thickly.

"He had a job tonight and couldn't make it. He'll be home to- hey, what are you looking at?" Annoyed at me ignoring her, she turned in her seat, a shocked look on her face before she smiled tightly.

"Taichi! I thought you had an assignment!"

"Hey, babe! We finished early, which was quite surprising, honestly."

The couple embraced and I barely registered the mushy love between the two as I watched the ginger man lead the rest of the group further into the bar. He walked by me, and before I knew it, dark blue eyes were staring right at me, eyebrows furrowed.

"The hell are you looking at?" he sneered and my face turned red, heart dropping in my chest.

"No one! I'm sorry!" I exclaimed, quickly turning back around and facing the bar.

"Tch. Whatever," the man only responded before walking off.

"You look like a cherry," Taichi said, clearly amused. I sent him a half-hearted glare, Keiko slapping his chest lightly.

"Be nice to her. She got fired today."

"Ohh, that sucks. If you need help-"

"She won't take it," Keiko said with a huff. "Stubborn ass."

I rolled my eyes at her, biting my lip nervously as I fiddled with my glass. "So uh... who was that guy? With the hat?"

Taichi blinked. "Oh, that's Chuuya Nakahara."

"Is he part of the Port Mafia?"

Taichi barked out a laugh, Keiko giggling softly behind her hand.

"Baby... he's an executive. Chuuya works closely with the leader of the Port Mafia."

"And I work under Chuuya," Taichi finished, amused at how wide my eyes have gotten at the answer.

"You mean to tell me... I pissed off... an executive member..." I was dismayed, heart pounding in my chest.

"Hmm, probably. Don't go home alone tonight," Taichi grinned as I balked, clearly having fun torturing me.

"Taichi! Babe, don't listen to him."

I gulped nervously, downing the rest of my drink before signaling to the bartender to get me another one.. "R-right..." Despite my better judgment, I turned my head, looking towards the obvious VIP section of the bar. Chuuya sat with some other grunts, a glass of what seemed to be red wine in his hand. Of course, his eyes found mines yet again and I whipped my head back around. Fuck, I did it again! I quickly downed the newly made drink, unaware of Chuuya's eyes narrowing as he watched me.

"Nooo, do you have to go?" a drunk Keiko whined as she latched onto my arm, a forever amused Taichi watching on. "Don't leave me with hiiiiiiim."

"I want to go home, dammit," I huffed, successfully peeling her off of me and handing her to her boyfriend. "I have to start job hunting tomorrow. Thank you for bringing me here, I do feel better and I love you but... I'm tired."

"Ugh, you are such an old lady!" Keiko whined again and I couldn't help but laugh, turning to start walking towards the exit.

"Goodnight, you too. Please get her home safe, Taichi."

"I wouldn't count on it~"

I rolled my eyes at his teasing, leaving the two behind as I left the bar. I stepped out into the cool night air, shivering a bit as I closed my cardigan tightly around me. I wore a simple but cute outfit; a black dress with burgundy tights underneath, black flats on my feet and my favorite tan cardigan over the entire outfit. It helped me fight off a bit of the cold, but as I started to walk down the block, I grabbed my phone to start searching through my usual rideshare app.

I didn't get far. My phone cluttered to the ground as it fell out my hands, a gasp leaving my mouth as I was slammed against the nearby brickwall of a narrow, dark alleyway.

"Who the fuck are you?" a familiar voice hissed and I'm shocked to find Chuuya Nakahara glaring daggers at me, his strong hands pinning my arms against the wall. He growled when I didn't answer. "Answer me! Who sent you here?!"

"N-No one!" I cried out, shaking like a leaf. Of course, of course I would be confronted by a fucking high level member of one of the most dangerous organizations in Japan. "I swear, I just came here with my friend."

Chuuya growled again and he flipped me around, pressing my front against the wall. "Stay still," he grunted, and my face started to heat up as I felt his gloved hands quickly feel along my body. He was frisking me, and I gulped when he shoved his hand under my dress, producing the knife I had strapped to my thigh.

"I carry that to protect myself," I immediately explained, Chuuya turning me around again to face him. His eyes were still narrowed, staring me down as if trying to figure out what the hell I was up to.

"And the bouncer didn't pat you down?" he questioned and I shook my head quickly.

"No, he didn't pat me or Keiko down."

"Tch, that's Taichi's woman," he said, though he still looked at me with narrow eyes, hesitating a bit before he turned my knife in his hand, handing it back to me hilt first. "You sure know how to make yourself look suspicious."

I cringed a bit as I strapped my knife to my thigh strap again. I missed how Chuuya's eyes lingered, him licking his lips. "That's my fault I... I know I was staring..." I could feel my face heat up again and I couldn't even look Chuuya in his face. "S-sorry if I creeped you out. I don't mean any harm. Keiko brought me here 'cause I got fired and she wanted to help me feel better..."

"Hm," was his only reply, crossing his arms over his chest. "What you do to fuck up?"

My mouth fell and I sputtered as I tried to come up with the words. "What do you mean?! I didn't fuck up!" I protested. "It literally came out of nowhere! I worked my ass off all year, only to get fired 'cause I wasn't what they needed anymore. Fucking bullshit."

Chuuya was amused by my little vent, snickering a bit as he gave me a quick look up and down. "I'm sure it wasn't your winning personality."

I scoffed. "Says the one that shoved a random woman against a wall?! That hurt, you bastard!"

Chuuya raised his eyebrows at me, and I immediately slapped my hands over my mouth.

Oh no. Fuck, I forgot who I was talking to.

Chuuya snickered again, his eyes flashing in amusement. He stepped closer to me, making me press back against the wall again. Chuuya leaned his face close to mine, a smug smirk on his face as he spoke.

"Be careful who you talk to like that," he hummed, and I shivered despite feeling some of his body heat. "Someone might just cut out your tongue for talking back like that. Me? Well, it'd be a waste, especially when I think of all the things I could make you do with it."

I squeaked, the heat never leaving my face as I stared at Chuuya with a puzzled expression on my face. The sudden switch up was giving me whiplash... and lowkey turning me on. "I..." I stuttered, looking away and finally noticing my phone still on the ground. "Crap, I hope it's not broken."

I rushed over to pick my phone up, ignoring Chuuya's hard stare on me. I looked over my phone, sighing in relief when I saw that it had sustained no damages.

Chuuya then stepped up to me, jerking his head back towards the bar before walking off. "Let me take you home. Take that as an apology for being so rough on you."

I blinked. "Um..."

"Hurry up!"

"Okay!" I squeaked and followed after the man quickly, chewing on my lip as I asked myself... what the fuck was I doing? Am I really about to get inside this man's car? He was a stranger! Who frisked me! Let alone, he is clearly a dangerous man.

I must be insane.

"Tell me," Chuuya started and I was dumbfounded as he approached a rather cool looking motorcycle. No way. "What the hell were you being so creepy for?" He turned to me and asked, an all-knowing smirk on his face. I blushed deeply. Of course, he already was able to figure it out once he realized that I wasn't a threat.

"No reason," I huffed out, earning a low laugh as Chuuya grabbed the only helmet I could see. I looked at him confused, gasping when he unceremoniously placed the helmet over my head. "What about you?"

"I don't need it," Chuuya simply answered before he finally mounted his bike. "Come on, you little liar. Hop on."

I couldn't help but stare, my mouth going dry as I took in the image of this handsome bastard with his bike. The engine roared as he turned it on, revving it a bit and making me make a mess in my panties.

"Hey, ya done eyefucking me, dollface?"

I sputtered. "I was NOT eyefucking you!" I stormed over to the bike, glaring at the grinning bastard as I climbed onto the bike behind him.

Chuuya snorted. "Yeah, like you weren't eyefucking me earlier in the bar," he retorted, easily reaching behind him to grab my wrists, pulling me against his back as he wrapped my arms around him. I was stunned silent, from his words, and his actions and the fact that his back felt so solid.... and he smelled so good...

"I was not..." I mumbled, pressing my cheek against his back. "Shut the fuck up."

He laughed darkly, and that sent a shiver down my spine.

"Where do you live?" Chuuya asked and I hesitantly told him my address. "I know where that is. Hold on."

"You do? It's on the other side of the city," I said and Chuuya just chuckled softly, looking over his shoulder and smirking at me.

"And who exactly runs this city?"

I clamped my mouth shut, his eyes staring into mine. I blushed and looked away from him. He turned his head back around with an amused laugh, the engine revving as he took off on his bike.

"Hold tight, dollface!"

He didn't have to tell me twice, my arms tightening around his torso as he sped down the street, weaving in and out of traffic. It was scary, but also so fucking exhilarating. My heart was thudding in my chest, my eyes watering because of the wind. Still, I kept them open, wanting to watch the world blur by us. Chuuya made a sharp, right turn, making me scream while he laughed loudly. 

"Man up!" he yelled at me.

"Stop driving like a crazy person!" I yelled back.

I didn't see the large, almost evil smirk that grew on Chuuya's face. Didn't see him licking his lips excitedly as he eyed a rather tall building coming up ahead.

"Tell me, dollface," he hollered back at me, revving the engine and I gulped as I held him tighter, his bike going faster. A bad feeling started to settle in my stomach, balking when he asked his next question. "Do you want to defy gravity?"

I didn't have time to answer, not when I finally realized that we were heading right towards the side of the building. I couldn't even scream, fear striking me as I suddenly started to see red, body jostling as Chuuya maneuvered the bike to jump in the air.... before landing perfectly on the side of the building and continuing vertically up towards the sky.

"Don't let go!" Chuuya sneered. Like that was ever going to happen.

I didn't dare turn my head to look down, my wide eyes staring up into the night sky as we made it closer to the top of the building. I couldn't even think straight, my body just running on nothing but adrenaline and fear.

"Ch-Chuuya!" I gasped out sharply, the bike finally making it to the roof of the building. Chuuya didn't slow down though, only barreling towards the edge and I started to panic. "Chuuya! What are you doing?!"

Chuuya only snickered, revving the engine once more before sending the bike flying off the edge of the building. I squeak and screw my eyes shut, pressing my face against the middle of his back. I didn't want to watch us plummet to our doom.

"Hey, idiot, open your eyes."

I whimpered and shook my head. "N-No..."

Chuuya sucked his teeth. "Just open your eyes! You'll regret it if you don't."

Biting my lip, I wanted a moment before I lifted my head up and opened my eyes, a small gasp leaving my mouth as I looked around me.

We were still floating in the air, biking moving through the sky. The City of Yokohama was lit up beautifully underneath us. I looked over, seeing the ocean at a distance, the ferris wheel lit up and spinning slowly. My mouth had fallen open, eyes wide in wonder. Chuuya was looking back at me, a triumphant grin on his face.

We made it to my apartment and Chuuya stood over me, an amused smile on his face as he watched me melt on the ground after I got off his bike.

"That was intense..." I mumbled, still feeling the effects of flying through the fucking sky. "I shouldn't even be surprised that you're gifted, with the power that you have already in the Port Mafia."

"Yeah, it was pretty great, huh," Chuuya said smugly, gloved hands stuffed in his coat pockets. I laughed softly, slowly standing up with my shaky legs. He took one look at my frazzled state and he grew even more smug. "That's a cute look on you, though if I really had my way with you, you wouldn't even be able to stand."

My face turned hot, sputtering as I tried to respond, but I had nothing to even say. Because the thought of actually inviting Chuuya inside and--

"Fuck..." I breathed out softly, looking at the man standing before me. His eyes didn't leave mine, the heat in them making a shiver go down my spine. "Do you... want to come inside?"

Chuuya fixed his hat on top of his head. "Lead the way, dollface."

"So... your ability lets you control gravity?" I asked once we made it inside the elevator of my apartment building. We were going fifteen stories up, after Chuuya parked his bike safely, of course.

"To put it simply, yes," Chuuya answered, stepping closer to me. I gasped softly when he grabbed my chin, the leather of his glove pressing against my skin. "But we're not here to talk about that." He pressed himself against me fully, leaning his face in until his lips hovered just above mine. I shivered, looking at him with hooded eyes. "This will be a one time thing, dollface."

I nodded, appreciating his honesty. "Of course," I replied just as the elevator stopped on my floor, doors sliding open. I grinned at him. "So let's make it count."

He liked the sound of that, grabbing my wrist and leading me out the elevator. I rushed to my apartment, grabbing my keys and hurriedly unlocking the door before opening it.

The door slammed shut as Chuuya immediately pressed me against it, his lips on mine in a fervorous kiss. I knocked his hat off his head as I ran my fingers through Chuuya's hair, moaning when his hands started to roam all over my body.

"Fuck..." I moaned softly when Chuuya started to kiss down my neck, squealing when he squeezed on my ass.

"Damn... you won't be able to fucking sit right, either," he growled against my neck as he massaged my ass and thighs. "Let's go."

Groaning when he moved himself away from me, I rushed to lead Chuuya to my bedroom, our clothes coming off in the process and making a trail on the floor.

It didn't take us too long to start really going at it, our lust fueling us to incredible heights. Chuuya held my hips tightly with his leather clad hands, thrusting his hard cock in and out of my soaking pussy.

He was fucking me hard, my body just sprawled on the bed as I moaned and grunted from the pleasure this man was giving me. "Fuck, fuck, Chuuya!" I whined, making the man grin widely as he kept his pace. Sweat covered both of our bodies, moans and deep growls mixing with the sound of skin slapping against skin.

"That's right, dollface, ride me," Chuuya smirked up at me, now on his back as I bounced up and down on his cock. His hands were right on my hips, his eyes going back and forth between  watching my bouncing breasts and watching his cock disappear inside my heat. "Fuck, you're so fucking sexy," he growled, thrusting up particularly hard and making me toss my head back, screaming when I finally fucking cum.

"Oh my God!" I gasped sharply, still squeezing around him as I began to slow down. "Oh fuck... it's so good," I moaned, reaching out and hooking my finger into Chuuya's black choker. I pulled and he pushed himself up, lips meeting mine in a messy kiss.

I moaned against his mouth, still slowly riding him as his hands ran up and down my sides, the leather cool against my skin. Then, Chuuya placed his hands on my hips, and with a mischievous little smirk, he licked his lips. Immediately, my body started to feel a little bit lighter, and Chuuya started to effortlessly bounce me up and down on his cock, 100% controlling my body with his ability.

"Chuuya..." I moaned his name, head lolling back. He continued to maneuver my body, little grunts and moans leaving his own mouth as he worked to reach his own pleasure, and mine.

I came again, tears falling down my face from the intense pleasure, and that was enough for Chuuya to pull me off of him completely, putting me on my knees before him on the bed. His hand grabbed the back of my neck and he pushed my head down, stuffing his cock in my mouth.

"Take it," he growled, his hands in my hair and using it to push my head up and down as he fucked my mouth. I moaned around him, a new wave of pleasure washing over me as I let the mafioso use me as he wanted. Soon enough, he exploded into my mouth, and I made sure I swallowed all of him.

"Fuck, that's hot..." Chuuya breathed out when I opened my mouth to show him that I did so. "You're such a good girl, dollface."

That made me flustered and I looked away shyly, earning a chuckle from him. I looked over when I felt him get up from the bed, thinking that he would leave. Instead, he just gave me a look. "Where is your shower?"

We showered together,  which took longer than needed because Chuuya couldn't keep his hands to himself. I was surprised when he climbed into bed with me afterwards, allowing me to cuddle against him as we slowly fell asleep.

I wasn't surprised though, when I woke up the next morning, sore and alone. I didn't get too upset about it, though. Chuuya laid it out clear and I accepted it and moved on.

I sat on my dining room table, looking through the newspaper as I sipped on my morning coffee. I was looking for a new job and figured looking at the local ads wouldn't hurt.

"Hm... let's see..." I whispered, reaching over and grabbing my knife. I ran the tip of it down the paper, stopping when one particular ad stuck out. "Hm... the Armed Detective Agency, huh? Interesting..." I set my knife down, staring at the ad as I took another careful sip of coffee.

-End

[crazybutgood]

International Tea Day!

(Drarry tea blend by Ela Spearlot)

International Tea Day is celebrated on 15th Dec in many tea-producing countries since 2005. Apparently, the UN changed the date to 21 May this year and I didn’t know until recently :( Oh well, I’m still going to celebrate it today, and I thought I’d use this opportunity to do something using two of my absolute favourite things: tea and Drarry. Here are some lovely fics involving tea that will warm you up like a good, steaming cuppa <3 (special thanks to @curlyy-hair-dont-care for her great feedback and for helping me put this together, and to @sitp-recs for your helpful tips and kind words)

Bite-sized:

Tea at three by @dorthyanndrarry​ (T, ~8.9k)

Draco Malfoy is the head potion brewer for the Ministry's onsite supply. Every day at three he goes to the nearest break room which coincidentally happens to be the auror break room, where he always seems to run into Harry Potter, who might also be waiting just for him. It's most certainly not the highlight of his day and he certainly doesn't hold anything other than friendly feelings towards Potter. It's just tea. Nothing more than tea at three.

A sweet fic where these two dorks finally get together with some help from their friends. Warnings for blood and injury in one scene.

A special blend of you and me by germankitty (T, 4.5k)

Draco finds a bunch of letters in Professor Snape's effects that were written by Lily Evans to her best friend at school, Marlene McKinnon. He passes them on to Harry, who consequently starts his own correspondence with Draco. (inspired by Tea and Lost Letters: Lily to Marlene by Kikimay)

A charming epistolary fic, featuring a great selection of teas, snarky and amusing letters that become progressively less formal and more intimate, and a delightful surprise by Draco at the end.

Portkey for Tea by @lettersbyelise (T, ~1.8k)

Draco is doing a two months residency at a Wizarding hospital in San Diego. Harry misses him too much to wait for him to come back to England.

How far would you travel for a special someone a cup of tea? Lovely established relationship fic with the two missing each other and Harry doing something about it.

Red Roses and Rousing Rumours by @dracogotgame (T, ~1.4k)

Draco's taste for rose water tea puts him in hot water.

A super cute one-shot where a misunderstanding on Harry’s part leads to Draco snagging a date with him (after being asked out in the sweetest way!)

Prompts: I love you - Over a Cup of Tea by @cibeewastaken (G, 362)

(this was my ask lol) Short one-shot of soft moments and tea flowers.

Prompts: I love you - On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in your hair by @cibeewastaken (G, 745)

Another lovely one-shot with sun tea and little Teddy trying to cheer Draco up. Featuring Teddy’s sweet innocence, shy boys in love and a confession that will warm your heart.

Why Is Our Teapot Wearing a Hat? by @ladderofyears (G, microfic, 50)

Adorable microfic based on the prompt ‘cosy’.

Rotten work by @prolix- (T, 792)

You start to cry after the war.

You tell Ron and Hermione that it's nothing, that it'll pass. You're just exhausted. It’s more than that, of course it is, but they don't question it. And you learn to hide the fact that you can still be found hunched over your kitchen sink after a party, fat tears rolling down your face, years after the war has passed.

He knows better.

Heart-achingly beautiful fic with lovely tea metaphors. Featuring sad yet tender moments between the boys, healing and hope. Warnings for implied/referenced PTSD, angst, crying and hurt/comfort)

Curl up with a cuppa to enjoy these longer fics:

Where There is Tea by @bafflinghaze (T, ~12.6k)

Somewhere in London, overlooking a garden, sits a little tea room. There, Harry finds tea, distraction, books, conversation, inspiration, himself, and Draco Malfoy.

Featuring Tea Master!Draco and Writer!Harry, this is a heartwarming story of supportive friends, coming out, self-discovery and a lovely buildup of friendship between Harry and Draco that blossoms into something more. Lots of amazing and familiar teas to look out for that you wish you were tasting along with the patrons at Draco’s tea shop.

Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop (E, ~70k)

It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he's falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him?

Draco’s stuck in a time loop until he figures out what he has to do to get out of it — learning, growing and becoming a better person with much help from his mother, Hagrid, and Harry, and conversations over tea.

Headlights in the Snow by Saras_Girl (M, ~71.6k)

What’s big and purple and smells like tea? Harry is about to find out. 

Advent fic 2016.

Harry has bizarre adventures with Knight Bus conductor Draco and the lovely passengers. A cosy Christmas advent getting-together fic featuring fun bus rides and on-board tea.

Special mention of fics that I associate with tea also kind of in order to remember them:

For the greater good by @jadepresley (E, ~62k)

When Harry and Draco discover they’ve been bonded to one another, neither one of them is prepared for the secrets they slowly begin to uncover.

Together, they learn that they can’t escape their past, or the things that have been left hidden there, and that sometimes the only way to move forward is to look back.

An accidental bonding fic that I absolutely adore

Malfoy rolls his eyes. “I’m not a monster, Potter, you arsehole. Though I do think you’re delusional if you think the whole wizarding world doesn’t love you.”

Harry shakes his head. “No. They love the idea of me. They love the stories. But they don’t… they don’t know how I take my tea in the morning, do they?”

“Excuse me?”

Harry flushes. He hadn’t meant to say that. Bloody Firewhisky. “It’s just this thing I believe. And Emmet — my ex — never knew. It’s… nevermind, you’ll think it's stupid.”

“That’s definitely possible,” Malfoy agrees seriously. “But you should tell me anyway.”

“You’re a prat, you know,” Harry tells him. Malfoy just smirks, making Harry sigh. “Fine,” he concedes. “It’s just... The way you take your tea is one of those small details about yourself that no one else would really know unless they asked. But... someone who really gives a shit about you would know — they’d ask or they’d notice — because they’d care enough to want to know. And Emmet... well, he just never cared enough about me to learn how I take my tea.”

I love that this fic uses this idea, partly also because this is something I’ve thought of too, not just for romantic relationships but relationships in general, and I was so happy to see it used in this fic.

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by @firethesound (E, ~149.5k)

Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

Discovering this fic was one of the best things ever. It’s an emotional roller coaster. Harry and Draco eventually go from polite coworkers, to tentative friends, to lovers — of course with a lot of drama and angst in between. These two bicker about so many things. One of them is how Harry never makes the tea hot enough, and it’s used throughout the fic in many important and special moments of their relationship.

Happy reading!

[tinyboxxtink]

Return To Sender

Ok so I was eating a corn on the cob earlier and it made me realize how similar it is to.....other things. So this came out. Yes, a corn on the cob prompt.

Don't judge me. Or do. Just enjoy.

PART 2

You had been working at SVU for several months now, and you loved every moment of it. Especially the moments with the ADA, Rafael Barba. You couldn’t deny you became enamored with him the moment he walked into the squad room on your first day. But you kept your little infatuation to yourself; at work anyway. When you would go home to your childhood best friend and current room mate, they’d ask you to spill details of your day, and many of those details included Rafael.

This one particular evening, Amanda had invited you out to eat with the squad. You hadn’t exactly “bonded” with anyone yet, and it was a welcoming gesture that you happily accepted. To your delight, the “squad” included Rafael! You desperately tried to hide your excitement as you followed Amanda to the back of the restaurant where the gang already had drinks and a calamari appetizer.

“I uh, I didn’t realize we were going fancy,” You sheepishly stated, after greetings of welcome were exchanged.

“I didn’t think Fazolli’s counted as ‘fancy’. Liv and I come here all the time” Rafael shrugged.

“Any food that doesn’t come out of Styrofoam containers is fancy to me, counselor,” You bit back with a bit more attitude than you meant. Rafael raised an eyebrow at your sudden bold demeanor.

“Ah. Well, I suppose we could take up a collection plate for you to eat something,” he smirked back as he sipped his scotch.

“Rafa, don’t be a dick. If you need a spot sweetie I got you, i invited you,” Amanda gave you a sympathetic look.

“I don’t think she’d have any trouble getting any guy to buy her anything in here,” Sonny chuckled, gesturing to your outfit.

Okay, so you were younger than them; Significantly younger. You couldn’t help it you were a child prodigy, graduating college at 18. And instead of being a rocket scientist, you used your many scholarship offers to go through the Police Academy AND Law School, because you wanted to use your smarts to help people. So yes, you were quite younger than the rest of them. Probably a big reason this was the first time you had been invited out to their “Grown Up” dinners.

You glanced down to the outfit Sonny was referring to; nothing fancy. Although you had to admit it showed off more cleavage than any of them were used to seeing on you. You blushed and pulled your jacket over your top and grabbed a menu to cover your red face.

“Thanks, I think,” You muttered a small thanks to Sonny, to which he winked back. Good lord maybe this wasn’t a great idea. You flipped out your phone and texted your roommate, begging them to help you get through this. You discreetly dictated the progression of the evening, like a play by play in a football game.

However as the night went on, you became more and more comfortable with your coworkers. They really were wonderful people; and the three drinks you had didn’t hurt either.

“Damn Y/N, I didn’t realize you were so funny!” Fin laughed, recovering from one of the jokes you had continually kept in the conversations all night.

“Oh yeah, Clown College is one of the most prestigious degrees I have in my collection,” You nodded your head as if in a subtle bow.

“That’s right, you’re like a child genius aren’t you?” Liv asked; she had definitely noticed that when she went over your resume to hire you.

“Emphasis on child,” Rafael muttered with food in his mouth. The group stopped laughing and glanced at him with perplexed looks.

“Really man?” Sonny asked with a hint of defense in his tone.

“Oh it’s fine, old man river is just upset he's not the center of attention for once,” you smirked at him without missing a beat. He huffed and muttered grumblings in Spanish under his breath while the rest of the table chuckled in amusement. Nobody had dared to mess with the big bad DA in social settings, he was scary enough in the courtroom.

You were so engrossed in the little cat and mouse game you were playing with the man you’d been obsessed with for months that you had forgotten you were in the middle of a conversation with your roommate. Your phone finally began vibrating on the table, causing Amanda to notice.

“Someone waiting on you?” She asked. “Boyfriend maybe?”

“Or a sitter, perhaps?” Rafa once again tried the young thing, but he was a bit more drunk than earlier and his quip made no sense.

“That would mean I HAVE a kid, counselor. Which I do not.” you rolled your eyes.”Or a boyfriend,” you added with a smirk. Oh God why were you being so brash NOW? Reign it in there, Don Juan.

You quickly jotted a text to your roommate letting them know you were ok and that the evening was going significantly better by the moment, and you’d tell them more when you got home later.

Not a second after you hit SEND did Amanda’s phone go off in her pocket. She looked at it with an amused smile.

“Uh how sloshed are you, newbie?” She giggled, starting to read the text.

Your face drained of all color, your expression frozen in fear. Oh God OH GOD she’s going to read that, let’s just say, ADULT detailed text you had just sent. You watched her expression go from amusement, to confusion, to absolute delight as she looked between you and Rafael. The rest of the table looked at each other in confusion, as she added “Ok ya’ll listen to this,”

Was she SERIOUS? She was going to read this intercepted text of your most private thoughts ALOUD to all of your coworkers?!

“Oh um, Amanda you know I really don’t think…” You tried going for her phone while looking at her with pleading eyes.

“Ok Ok, you’re right. I’m just teasing girl,” She smiled as she patted you on the back, and you started to relax back into your chair. That is, until you heard Sonny’s voice next to you:

“Oh my God the way Rafael is sucking down his corn of cob definitely confirms my thought of him giving EXCELLENT head,”

Your head spun so fast you swore it might have twisted off like a Barbie doll as you saw your phone was left unlocked and open on messages right on the table, and Sonny had just read a text you had sent your BFF earlier!

The entire table fell silent, Olivia had done a spit take as Sonny was talking. You couldn’t bring yourself to look up at ANYONE, you just snatched your phone off the table and stuck it in your lap while glaring holes into the floor. Should you leave? You should probably leave. Would it be worse if you left?

“Wow Y/N I am so sorry, I just...I ain’t the smartest guy and sometimes I read stuff out loud without thinking and I...I shouldn’t have been lookin at your messages,” You heard Sonny’s soft apology, but it sounded so far away. Oh God, were you having a panic attack?!

Suddenly, you hear a boisterous laugh that knocks you back to reality. You lift your head slightly from your lap to see Rafael laughing and shaking his head.

“So that’s why you're so mean to me, carino,” he smiled, dying down his laughter. “You have a crush on me!”

Oh good God, you’ve had nightmares go better than this.

“Wha-- n-n-no, you’re mean to ME, counselor,” You found yourself shooting back at him like a five year old.

“Oh good lord, just make out already!” Fin laughed, the others followed suit. The two of you locked eyes and blushed before quickly looking anywhere else but each other.

“Um...you know maybe I should go, I have court early tomorrow,” Rafael cleared his throat, gathering his belongings.

“Let’s all just agree the last 10 minutes never happened, yeah?” he proposed to the group, who all nodded back with amused smiles.

“I’ll see you all on Monday,” He nodded to the group as he got up from the table, walking behind your chair.

“....And for the record, I AM excellent in that area,” He whispered in your ear. Your face turned hot, your core tingled. Your head whipped around to confirm what he had just said, but he was already out the door. Did….Did you just make that up in your head?

You glance at the now three remaining dinner mates, huge smiles on all of them back at you.

“Well, I guess you’re welcome then!” Sonny laughed, Amanda hit him in annoyance.

Yeah. That had DEFINITELY just happened.

[groggiie]

Bee Movie Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Bee Movie script is here for all you fans of the Jerry Seinfeld animated movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Bee Movie quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Bee Movie Script

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things

work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All

right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for

that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not?

- It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!

You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label

on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so

difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer,

have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta

weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke

machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the

last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble.

We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen,

everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that. Special thanks to SergeiK.

oph my god

[ri-ahhh]

Ooooh but like what if it's gray getting jealous and a teeny but insecure too when MJ mentions some of her work mates and other close guy friends w whom she hangs out and drinks and parties yk?And when he finally meets them he might not be able to get some inside jokes or be pissy on how touchy one of her guy bffs is?!And just goes like"baby am I too young for you?"🥺maybe some cute fluff and hot makeup sex?? ;p Sorry if this too much or straight up lame It's cool if you don't wanna concept this

Ok, first of all, I love this. Second, this is my first MJ concept and I’m soft af🥺

If there’s one personality trait Grayson Dolan wouldn't normally attribute to himself, it’s that of being easily jealous. Why would he be? His life, despite it’s occasional heavy downs, is relatively picturesque in the grand scheme of things. He’s got a loving family, an amazing career, a beautiful girlfriend, and he’s narcissistic enough to proudly say he’s a good-looking dude.

But the little green monster first starts to stir in chest when said beautiful girlfriend lays back on his chest one morning, scrolling through Instagram while the two of them laze in bed. MJ is looking through the pictures she had been tagged in at a company dinner the night before, double-tapping her phone screen occasionally and diverting his attention away from his own phone when she does.

“Who’s that?” he asks, trying to sound as casual as possible as he eyes a certain picture with slightly narrowed eyes.

“Hm?” MJ had already scrolled down to the next photo, but she goes back to the one in question. Grayson points to the guy standing next to her. “Oh. That’s Jesse. He’s one of my teammates.”

Grayson doesn't respond right away, his gaze focused on the way the attractive young man has his arm wrapped tightly around MJ’s waist in the group photo. MJ is leaning away from him, but it still gives him a bad vibe — not from her, but from him.

“He looks friendly.”

MJ glances up at him and slaps the other side of his bare chest with the back of her hand jokingly. “Relax, we all had to squeeze in to get the picture. He’s just a colleague.”

“Yeah, to you,” Grayson mumbles. He tosses down his phone and turns on his side so he can throw his arm over her middle, nuzzling into her hair.

MJ smiles and scratches her nails up and down his sculpted arm, his warm breath tickling her ear. He’s not really the possessive type, too confident in himself and trustworthy in her for this to have ever been an issue in their relationship, but her work world is one entirely separate from him. She doesn’t think it’s too irrational for him to be suspicious, especially since she can admit feeling a little iffy about the way Jesse had so easily sidled up to her for that photo.

She shifts her head on the pillow so she’s facing him, kissing his lips softly but soundly. It’s an unspoken reassurance between them, and they both let the topic go.

A few days later, they’re in the kitchen together, a pass only she is allowed while Grayson cooks. MJ sits on the island, her feet dangling over the cabinets as Grayson stirs the vegetables he’s sautéing on the stove, when her phone buzzes on the marble countertop beside her. She picks it up and chuckles, her manicured fingers typing away.

“What’s so funny?” Grayson asks nosily.

MJ hits ‘send’ in the text response she wrote. “Jesse sent a stupid meme that reminded him of this super difficult exec we have to deal with for one of our clients.” She holds up her phone so Grayson can see it, but without the further context he doesn’t really see the humor in it. It causes a weird sensation to bubble in his stomach, one he can’t quite place, but it definitely makes him give the veggies an extra vigorous stir that has some of them flying out of the pan on accident.

He draws the line on this guy in his head when MJ sends him a text the next afternoon while he’s in a Wakeheart meeting downtown, just a few blocks from her office.

ugh baby i’m so sorry i have to cancel our lunch date :/ jesse wants to keep working on this report we have due this afternoon and i’ll look like a dick if i leave.

Grayson huffs and feels the back of his neck flush with anger. Why is Jesse controlling whether or not she can take her lunch break? She has a habit of skipping it to begin with, which Grayson can’t stand and actively tries to make sure she doesn’t do, so his irritation with this dude is through the roof now. His mind can’t help but wander to the possibility that maybe Jesse is doing it on purpose; he knows for a fact all of her coworkers know about him, so who’s to say he’s not trying to keep her to himself today? Before he can type out a heated response, however, MJ double-texts.

i promise I’ll make it up to you tonight. whatever you want, on me. literally and figuratively ;)

She knows him too well, can probably sense his frustration a few streets away. Grayson sighs, but his mouth lifts in a little smile, because he loves her and he’s low-key looking forward to that promise now.

Alright. I’ll be thinking about that to get me through this meeting. Pls eat tho baby, it makes me worry when you don’t.

me too lol. and gonna order some kreation now, don’t worry. ily

She punctuates her message with a few heart emojis, and Grayson returns the sentiment before pocketing his phone once more. His mind is far from the financial projections he’s supposed to be paying attention to, but luckily this is much more Ethan’s territory in the business than his, anyways.

Friday, he and MJ are cuddling on the couch watching a movie when out of nowhere she gasps a little and sits up from where she’s leaning on him. “Oh, I almost forgot to ask. You and E doing anything tomorrow?”

Grayson chuckles and shakes his head, amused by the suddenness of her question. He pushes a lock of her hair, damp from their shared shower, behind her ear. “Not that I know of, other than we might go to the skatepark.”

MJ grins. “Well, my boss is making us do our monthly team-building workshop at a climbing gym, if you want to tag along. I don’t think you’ll be able to join us during the middle of it, obviously, but afterwards it would give you the chance to meet some of the people I work with, if you want.”

He considers it. He hasn’t been climbing in a while, and he’s actually been itching to get back into it. Not to mention, it’ll give him a chance to keep an eye on Jesse while he’s around MJ in the skin-tight lycra she wears to work out in.

“Yeah, I’m down. I’ll ask E if he wants to come, too.”

The next day, the three of them roll up to the gym in Ethan’s Tesla. Grayson wastes no time in taking MJ’s hand in his as they walk through the parking lot, just in case a certain set of eyes are watching. MJ squeezes his fingers reassuringly; she’s not dumb, not impervious to the fact that when he kisses her goodbye once they step inside and before they go their separate ways that he had caught a glimpse of the man from the picture that put his guard up to begin with.

When he pulls back but makes no move to join Ethan on the other side of the gym, MJ shakes her head with a grin and cups his cheek softly.

“No need to stake your claim, Neanderthal,” she says.

He looks down at her with a pout that makes her heart and her panties melt. His wide hands plant themselves on her hips and tug her a little closer to him, anyways. “Am I being obvious?” he asks.

“Only to me,” she winks, rising on her toes to give him one more chaste kiss. “Now go with E, before Chanel gets here and I have to reverse the roles.”

Grayson laughs but does as he’s told, giving her waist a gentle squeeze before they part ways. MJ’s company had rented half of the gym, which was roped off for them. He chooses the open wall closest to the one they're using, eager to keep his girlfriend as nearby as possible for the couple of hours they would be separated.

As he sits on a bench and slips on his climbing shoes, Grayson can’t help but search out where Jesse is. He’s easy to spot, that’s for sure. Not only is he already next to MJ, chatting animatedly while she smiles and nods politely in return, but he stands out with his curly mop of hair, caramel-colored skin, and pale blue eyes. Maybe his attractiveness is part of the reason Grayson is somewhat intimidated by his obvious interest in MJ, but he’s also part of her everyday life, one he knows nothing about other than what she shares with him.

It’s never been something that bothers him, because it’s healthy to have a life outside of a relationship, but he’s always dated — hooked up, whatever you want to call it — in his industry. There was always a mutual understanding of what work and life in general entailed with those flings, and it’s taken Jesse for him to suddenly realize he doesn’t have the experience or the knowledge of how to handle his feelings with that not being the case with MJ. It makes him feel out of control, not good enough somehow.

Grayson Dolan does not like to be out of control and he most certainly does not like being below his own standards.

“Who’s that?”

Grayson is brought out of his daze by his brother’s voice and the hand he had clapped to his shoulder. If he were able to laugh at himself in this moment, he might have found Ethan’s question funny, since it was exactly what he’d said when he first saw Jesse, too. Ethan’s gaze is fixed on MJ and the man in question, who had placed his hand on her elbow as he talked only for MJ to duck down to ‘tie her shoe.’

“Jesse,” is all he says, standing up to buckle his chalk belt around his waist.

“Oh,” Ethan replies, nodding his head a little. “Do we like him?”

“Nope.”

“Cool.”

Ethan becomes another set of eyes for Grayson while they climb, giving him nudges or a little whistle every time he catches Jesse standing a little too close to MJ, or finding a reason to touch her, or to ‘help’ her as she climbs up the wall. Grayson glowers over every time, trying his best but probably failing to not to come off as the jealous boyfriend. Every once in a while MJ will catch his eyes, giving him a quick wave or a thumbs-up with a pretty smile just for him. It makes his heart settle some, only for his chest to tighten again when Jesse starts cheering for her a little too loud.

The two hours pass by a little faster as he settles into the rhythm of climbing, trying to put her touchy coworker in the back of his mind. He trusts MJ with everything in him, but he knows how men can be — ignorant either by choice or by idiocy to a woman’s obvious signals of disinterest.

“Gray!”

He’s just reached the top of the wall when his girlfriend’s voice cuts clear through the loud chatter around them. He looks down and sees her on the mat, hair pulled back in a cute high ponytail, freckled cheeks flushed from the exertion of the day, as she waves him down with that same bright smile.

He grins, excited to have her to himself once again. “One sec!”

Once he’s made it back down the wall, he greets her with a kiss. She’s tied her jacket around her waist, leaving her top half covered only by a pretty green sports bra that happens to be both his favorite color and one that makes her eyes pop beautifully.

“I like this,” he says suggestively, hooking his finger in one of the straps and tugging gently.

MJ rolls her eyes and reaches up to adjust the center of the Wakeheart cap he’s got backwards over his hair. “Come on. You can meet the idiots I have to put up with every day.”

She leads him to the group, who are all standing around chatting, gulping down water, gathering keys and such as they prepare to leave. He gets introduced to them a couple at a time. Some of them he recognizes by name, such as Valentina and Jude (both of whom MJ actually likes and considers friends), MJ’s intern Alessia, and Chanel, of course, who bats her eyes so obnoxiously it’s almost comical.

And then there’s Jesse, who’s immediately sizing Grayson up with those striking eyes as soon as they approach him standing in the corner on his phone. Grayson doesn’t back down in the slightest, a smirk fixing itself on his lips when MJ leans into him and wraps her arm around his back. He drapes his own over her shoulders, pulling her that much closer to him.

“Hey Jess. This is the famous boyfriend I’ve told you all about,” she introduces, patting a hand on his hard stomach and smiling up at him for a moment.

Grayson lets go of MJ long enough to extend his hand. “Grayson.”

Jesse accepts and shakes his hand politely. “Jesse. MJ and I are teammates.”

“So I’ve heard,” he says, keeping a tight smile on his face as Jesse continues to square up to him, like Grayson has posed some kind of challenge.

Jesse nods, a grin of his own popping up as he gets the idea that MJ has maybe talked about him before. Grayson wants to roll his eyes, but he stays trying to be the bigger person here.

“So what do you do, Grayson?” Jesse asks.

Another hot flash overcomes him. He’s heard the question often enough to know there are two ways people ask it: innocently and genuinely; or knowingly and almost maliciously, like Jesse is now, waiting for him to say the ‘i’ word and berate him for it passive-aggressively.

MJ tightens her arm around him some, and it calms him down enough to answer with an even tone. “I do social media.”

“That’s just the tip of the iceberg, though,” MJ steps in for him with a grin. “He and his brother have a whole production team under them. And they're CEO’s and part-owners of a fragrance company, Wakeheart. I think I’ve told you, whenever you compliment my perfume, that it’s Grayson’s, right?”

She’s incredible, really. Grayson smiles and shows off the diamonds in his teeth, which glint in the harsh artificial light. “Well, Jesse, if you like MJ’s perfume so much, I’d be glad to send you our whole collection. Maybe you’ll find one that’s right for you.”

He can see Jesse’s resolve start to waver, especially when MJ stands on her toes to kiss Grayson’s stubbled cheek. “Very generous, huh Jesse?”

Jesse clears his throat and digs his keys out of his pocket tellingly. “Ah, yeah. Thanks, man, good to meet you. See you Monday, MJ.”

He brushes past the couple without another glance, and he at least has the decency to blush a little from embarrassment. MJ turns and wraps her arms around Grayson’s middle, staring up at him with big green eyes that sparkle with amusement.

“Do you think he got the picture that I’m completely, totally, head over heels in love with you?” she asks, swaying slightly as he wraps his arms around her as well. “And that he has no chance in this universe whatsoever?”

“I don’t know, I feel like you could’ve laid it on a little thicker. Hyped me up a bit more,” Grayson jokes, dipping down to brush her lips with his. A blonde statue glares at the pair of them when he pulls back and glances over MJ’s head. “Chanel is staring daggers at us. Should we make out right here so she can see how I feel the same about you?”

MJ giggles and shakes her head. “Unfortunately, nothing will faze that bitch.” She nuzzles his nose with hers affectionately, the chaste display a perfect disguise for the dirty whispers that comes out of her mouth next. “Mm, my CEO boyfriend can take me home, though, and fuck me nice and hard in the shower.”

Grayson’s eyes turn a shade darker, and he bites his plump lower lip. He wants to slip his hands down to her ass, but he’s also very aware of how public they are right now. “If we even make it to the shower,” he murmurs.

MJ scrunches her nose and raises her brow in a look of mild disgust. “Gray, if you think I’m sucking your dick after it’s been in a cup for nearly three hours, without you taking a shower, you better think again. I don’t think even Chanel is down for that.”

Grayson lets out a belly laugh and releases her, taking her by the hand instead to go find Ethan. “Noted, baby. Noted.”

[spookyemorockbabe]

hi ! could you do 8, 29 and 52 from the nsfw prompt list with joe ? thanks !!

A/N: Another for our Joey boy. I take it you all liked the last one so yay! I got a little carried away with this... again (sorry, not sorry). You’re making me so obsessed with this man with all of this writing I’m doing for him. Enjoy!

Warnings: Joe x f!reader, smutty smut, semi-public sex, dom!Joe

**Requests are open**

8. "I don't give two shits that we're in public and people are watching."

29. "You're being so good for me. I knew you could take it all."

52. "Use your words like a good boy/girl."

“Y/N, you’re it for the next interview. I can’t deal with any more stuck-up actors without wanting to throw my fucking chair at them!” your friend and coworker, Susie, yells over to you. 

“What the hell Susie! You can’t just spring this on me,” you complain. Susie glares at you, leaving no room for argument. “Fine. But you better give me your notes because I obviously have nothing prepared. Who’s next anyway?” Please don't be an ass, please don’t be an ass.

“I think it’s those guys from the Queen movie,” she replies offhandedly. 

“Bohemian Rhapsody?! Christ Susie, you can’t do this to me! Those guys are amazing and way too hot to let me even concentrate,” you huff in disbelief. “How can you even pass that up?”

Susie sighs. “I’m sure they are hot, but I need a fucking break. I can’t stand any more asshole remarks right now.”

“Alright, alright. Do I at least get to add a few questions in myself? I have so much I’d love to ask.” 

“Of course. You better hurry though, you have to get to hair and makeup. Just make sure you save your extra questions for the end. I handed my notes off to Bill. They’ll probably be on your seat when you get in there. Have fun!” she says with a wave, walking out of the building with visible relief.

You started off to get ready for the interview, actually a little nervous to meet the cast. But mostly excited. They seemed like such sweethearts and they were so easy on the eyes. Your friend Kat will be so jealous when you tell her.

You entered the room, relaxing a little when you saw Susie’s notes were there and the guys had yet to be shown in. You went through your breathing exercises, trying to get into your in-front-of-the-camera mindset. You rarely got the opportunity to actually interview celebrities, being a journalist who works behind the scenes on different articles rather than in the actual public eye. It was always exciting though.

Bill entered the room followed by the four cast members, prompting you to stand. “Y/N, glad to see you could stand in for Susie. Gents, this is Y/N, your interviewer for today.”

You smile at all of them, moving into a handshake with Rami at the front of the line. “Nice to meet you all! Big fan of the movie. Why don’t you all take your seats and we can get started,” you say with a smile. Christ, they’re all fucking beautiful. What I wouldn’t give… No. Snap out of it. 

“Sorry, just a second. Have we met before? You just seem so familiar,” Joe questioned. You blush, shocked that he would remember. 

“Yes, we have! I interviewed you when you came over to talk about Undrafted. I’m surprised you would remember me.”

“That’s right! How could I forget a beautiful face?” he smiled. Your face flushed even darker.

The rest of the guys glance over at Joe with amusement. “Smooth mate,” Ben teased under his breath. 

“Well,” you cleared your throat, “I appreciate that. Are you all ready to go?” There were nods of agreement all around. “Great! First question…” You continued on with the interview, joking around with them and having the time of your life in those short 10 minutes you got to chat. Joe was continuously sending flirty looks your way throughout, smirking at you every time you made eye contact. 

“I’m sad to say we are out of time but it was amazing speaking with you all,” you turned towards the camera, “Bohemian Rhapsody is out now, so be sure to go see it. It’s amazing,” you smile. You turn back to the guys. “Thank you guys so much and I hope we get to see you again!”

The four of them all smiled and thanked you before Bill called cut and said you were done. 

You smiled at the four men. “Seriously, thank you. I hope this interview wasn’t too grueling for you all,” you grimace, “I know these questions can get repetitive.”

“Oh no you were perfect,” Rami smiled, “We had a lot of fun joking with you. It was refreshing.” You blushed again.

“Thanks! I guess you’re all free to go then. I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay in town,” you grinned. You couldn’t stop smiling, they were just so charming. They all started to head out back towards the entrance, waving to you and Bill with thanks again as they filed out. You sighed happily and started collecting your notes so you could get back to work. 

“Hey Y/N, could I talk to you?” You turned and saw Joe peeking his head back through the door with the cutest smile you’ve seen. 

“Yeah! Sure.” You walked out into the hall to join him. 

“I just wanted to say thanks again for a great interview. You really were able to keep it fun and lively so I appreciate that,” Joe said. He glanced down at your lips then back up to your eyes. Oh?

“You’re too sweet Joe. I’m glad I could get you away from the norm of a generic interview,” you reply. “Was that all you needed to talk about? Or was there something else?” you say cheekily. 

Joe laughs and looks down at his shoes. He glances back up at you and smirks. “I also wanted to say that I’m glad you had to stand in for this interview because I don’t know what we all would have done if we had to deal with another monotone, boring interviewer.”

You blush. Again. “Yeah, I’m glad too. You all are so easy to talk to and even easier on the eyes.” Your eyes widen. Did you really say that?

Joe chuckles. “Well you’re not so bad yourself, doll.” Your cheeks are darkening by the second. “In fact, can I tell you a secret?” Joe says as he walks closer to you. You can only nod. “You’ve had me whipped for you since I walked into that room. You’re so gorgeous, you know that?” he whispers near your ear. You shudder.

“You mean that?” you breathe back. 

“All of it. Can I please kiss you?” he asks huskily. You whine and nod your head again. 

Joe moves in to kiss you feverishly, backing you into the wall behind you. He cups your face and you wrap your arms around his neck. You moan a little as he swipes his tongue along your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You oblige and gasp as he delves his tongue into your mouth. He tasted so sweet and a little bitter, like coffee. You couldn’t get enough. You tug on his hair, whimpering as he grounds his hips into yours. You suddenly become very aware of where you are and pull back. 

“Joe wait,” you sigh as he moves towards your neck, “Joe we can’t. Not here.” You see two of your colleagues walk past you and Joe, trying not to stare. 

“Come on doll. I don’t give 2 shits that we’re in public and people are watching,” he mumbles against your neck.

“That may be Mr. Mazzello,” you nip at his ear, “but we have our reputations to uphold. There’s a hall closet not 3 feet away. And it locks,” you smile saccharinely. Joe just groans at you.

“Lead the way. Fast,” he growls as he smacks your ass. You playfully glare back at him and grab his hand to drag him into the closet before anybody else comes down the hallway again.

The moment you lock the closet, Joe has you pinned up against the door with a hand around your neck. You whimper, panties absolutely soaked at this point. “Fuck baby. You have no idea how hard it was to sit through that interview without wanting to just take you right there in front of my friends,” Joe moans breathily. Fucking hell. All you can do is whine, begging with your eyes. “What do you want, babydoll? Use your words like a good girl."

“Please Joe. Let me suck your cock,” you whine. It’s all you’ve been thinking about since you saw the man enter the room. You look up at Joe through your lashes, looking as innocent as ever. 

“Get on your knees, pretty girl. Christ, I need to see those perfect lips wrapped around me,” Joe sighs, unbuckling his belt. You grab for the button of his pants and help him get out of them as gracefully as possible in the cramped space. You trail sweet kitten kisses down his subtly toned stomach, making your way down so you’re face to face with his throbbing cock. 

You gently squeezed the base of his cock, giving languid strokes that had him lightly gasping. “Open your mouth for me, pretty girl,” he says as he tilts your chin upward. You open for him, sticking your tongue out. “So good for me,” he praises. He leans down and spits into your mouth, making you moan. “Swallow for me babydoll. You look so good like this.”

You swallow then open your mouth again, allowing him to gently slap his cock on your tongue. You wrapped your mouth around his tip and slightly bobbed to give him a taste of what’s to come. He moaned, eyes rolling back into his head. You lapped at his slit before taking him as far as you could in one go. “Fuuuck,” he stuttered and looked down at you, “You're being so good for me. I knew you could take it all. Just like that, pretty girl.” Joe wrapped his hand into your hair, thrusting slowly into your mouth. You were so fucking gone for this man already. 

You continued to bob your head, gagging a little at a particularly rough thrust. “Oh shit! That’s it baby,” he panted. You moaned around him, looking up with doe eyes. “Fuck, look at you. So perfect.” You blushed at his praise, moving faster up and down his length while you moved to squeeze his balls. Joe gave a guttural groan at that, pushing deeper down your throat. You gagged, pulling off with a pop to catch your breath. You gave kitten licks to the head of his cock, moving to lick a long stripe up the underside. You smiled at how fucked out Joe looked. You liked having him at your mercy like this.

You went back down on him, bobbing rhythmically. His hips started to stutter and his grip tightened in your hair. “Shit, Y/N. I- fuck like that. I’m so close,” he chokes. “I’m gonna... Oh, baby. I’m gonna cum pretty girl.” Joe’s thrusts became uneven until he stilled and pushed your head down on his cock. You moaned as you felt him spill down your throat. You hollow your cheeks even more, milking him for every last drop. 

Joe pulls out of your mouth with a grunt. “Show me,” he says huskily. You open wide for him again, showing him you swallowed all he had to offer. He moans again. “Christ can I fucking marry you? You’re such a good girl, doll.” You giggle at him, giving your sweetest smile.  Joe tucks himself back into his pants and helps you from where you were kneeling. 

You grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him in for a searing kiss. “When are you off work?” he asks with a dreamy sigh. 

“In an hour or two. Why?” you question curiously. 

“Well, I have to repay you. What kind of animal do you take me for? I can’t leave you like this longer than necessary,” he smirks at you. You blush again. You didn’t realize this would continue further. “Meet me at my hotel. There’s a king-sized bed and champagne calling our names if you’re up for it.”

You smile at Joe and start readjusting your hair. “I’d love to. Now, to escape without being noticed,” you smirk. You peek out into the hallway, not seeing anybody coming and grabbing Joe to yank him out of the closet. 

“Well,” he breathes, turning to face you, “ I guess I’ll see you soon, lovely. Enjoy the rest of your day. I can’t wait to see you,” Joe says with his sparkling grin. He kisses you once more, winking and swatting your butt before walking away. That man is going to be the death of you. You couldn’t get to that hotel fast enough.

[euphoriahrs]

bittersweet | jjk [ii.]

» pairing: manhwa artist!jjk x female oc

» genre: roommate au

» word count: 2.1k

» disclaimer: contains strong language and drinking, but very little

» rated pg 13

* lowercase is intended *

[series mlist]

chapters: i. | ii. | iii. | iv. | v. | vi. | vii. | viii. | ix. | x. | xi. | xii.

© euphoriahrs (please do not steal or copy in any form)

a/n: make sure to reblog and let me know what you think about this chapter!

𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐖𝐎𝐍 didn't arrive at the apartment until evening time. on her way back, she received an unexpected call from work informing her that a coworker was caught stealing customers' medications and needed to get there urgently.

she worked at a local pharmacy that was run by a lovely couple in their 50s. haewon was in urgent need of a job so when she saw that they were looking for an extra hand, she was elated. she would finally have a job that fit her major.

the jung’s started their pharmacy soon after they got married and raised three children, all of which moved out of the average-sized town and into bigger cities for better opportunities.

the only help they had was a man in his early 30s who was working to pay off debts, and since none of their children wanted to inherit the pharmacy as well as old age creeping upon them, they began to search for the much-needed help. now the sweet couple are practically her parents.

she reluctantly cracked the door open, wide enough so she could peek through without anyone noticing her. she expected to see an alert guard dog waiting to bite off the intruder’s finger, but there was nothing so she opened it wider.

instead of finding a vicious guard dog, she was met by what seemed to be an adorable puppy-like dog that was fast asleep waiting for its owner to come back so that they could go on their daily walk at the park.

disappointed but not surprised, she closed the door behind her and walked closer to her roommate. she slowly walked towards the boy until she was close enough to hear his soft snores.

from where she was, she squatted down and positioned her elbows on her thighs to place her head in her hands, so that she can look at his face from a safe distance without getting caught.

she examined his features of his sleeping state.

his brows were furrowed creating a crease right between them, his slightly scrunched nose, and a frown that was formed on his lips.

"i wonder what's on his mind," she whispered.

"you better turn that frown upside down, idiot," she motioned with her fingers. she stayed in that position a little longer before getting up, not wanting to be there in case he woke up.

she stretched and sauntered towards the kitchen thinking of what she should eat for dinner.

"do i cook or get takeout?" she mused making her way to a stool. she tapped the counter like a drum while trying to decide.

she was too lazy to cook and besides that, they haven't gone grocery shopping in a while so there was no food in the fridge.

"takeout it is," she pulled out her phone and opened postmates. "now the question is what(italics) to eat," she sighed scrolling through the options.

"order from that chicken and beer restaurant," a voice croaked behind her. she dropped her phone from the sudden sound, "oh, jeongguk you scared me," she let out an anxious laugh and placed a hand over her heart.

"you should really make it known when you're around," she picked up her phone.

"well, you should start paying more attention to me then," he fired back smugly while getting some water from the fridge to quench his thirst.

ignoring his comment, "when did you wake up?" haewon questioned.

with his tired stare, "just now. i just so happened to see what was on your phone." she hummed in response and searched for the restaurant, "i guess we could get that then. i didn't know what to get anyways." jeongguk moved to sit on the stool next to her and sat in silence.

after a minute or two, jeongguk broke the silence, "i haven't forgotten about this morning just so you know," he sang in a threatening way. "of course," she replied in a bored tone and she jokingly added, "so, how was your guest last night?"

"she was amazing," he amused sarcastically. haewon perked her eyebrows, "oh really? how did it go this morning hm?"

"quite refreshing actually," he seethed. haewon peered further, "not terrifying? not even a little bit?" while squinting her fingers.

jeongguk shot her a threatening look. "of course that shit was terrifying! i thought murdered someone while i was drunk last night! how do you expect me to react when i woke up to see a bloody body laying right next to me?!" he barked.

"um let me think," haewon pretended to think. "over the moon," she faked gushed. jeongguk was about to respond when the doorbell rang. "i'll get it!" haewon rushed to the door.

"hello, are you park haewon?" the delivery boy asked. he was tall and lanky with dark brown eyes and hair, probably around 17 years old.

"yes i am," she answered. the boy smiled, "did you order a mixed box in with two beers?" haewon nodded.

"okay, that'll be $14.76," he gave her the bag. haewon was getting her wallet when jeongguk gave the boy money instead.

she scrunched her eyebrows and looked at jeongguk, "i can pay for it myself you know." jeongguk gave her his famous bunny smile. "i know, but i wanted to pay anyway."

“what's with the sudden mood change?” she muttered.

the delivery boy looked over to haewon to make sure that he was okay to take the money from jeongguk. she smiled and nodded, "it's not my money anyway." the boy was about to take the money when jeongguk interrupted.

"you know, actually you can pay for it yourself," he took the money back and walked away.

haewon whipped her head towards jeongguk, "how do you just say 'oh i'm going to pay for our dinner today' and then decide to take it back?!" she looked confused with a tinge of annoyance.

"i don't know," he stood there with his hands in his pockets. haewon rolled her eyes and turned back around to give the delivery boy money. the boy awkwardly smiled, "would you like your change?"

"no thank you, have a good night," she smiled back.

haewon closed the door and leaned against it. she stared at jeongguk trying to figure out why his mood kept changing. one minute he seemed like he was going to kill her, the next minute he was all nice and stuff, and another minute later he wants to take back his kindness.

jeongguk cleared his throat, "if you take a picture it'll last longer." she thought about his remark and did what he said to and took a picture. jeongguk was surprised but covered up quickly before she could take the picture. "there i did it." she said in a monotone.

"but you know what? you don't deserve to be in my camera roll, more like in the trash." she paused, "actually you don't deserve to be in my phone at all," with that haewon deleted the photo in her camera roll, then went into the trash and deleted there so that there was no trace of the photo left.

"come on, let's go eat before the food gets cold," she walked away. jeongguk stood there processing what just happened. "and she did that for what?" he shook his head and couldn’t help but form a grin and made his way to the kitchen to eat.

haewon had just finished placing the food on the counter when jeongguk came in. she handed him a beer and swung her piece of chicken, motioning him to sit down.

"so, how is your progress going on getting a company to accept your manhwa?" she asked being nosy and wondering how his life was going.

jeongguk almost spit out his beer, "how did you know about that?"

haewon scratched the back of her head, "well, you see, it was only a peek-"

"just a peek?" jeongguk interrupted raising an eyebrow. she sighed, "okay i went through it. but only because i was trying to at least tidy up your room since i did just leave something possibly life traumatizing in your bed." she sheepishly smiled. "sorry," she added and took a sip of her beer.

“that’s bullshit,” he rolled his eyes.

“okay, you caught me, i was snooping,” she said exaggerating the ‘a’ and put her hands up surrendering. “but being nosy is in my nature, i can’t help it,” she shrugged and took a sip of beer.

“whatever,” he exhaled. his shoulders slumped, "none of the companies are responding. i doubt they even took a glance at what i sent them. so i guess i'll just have to continue to work on webtoon," he confessed and chugged his beer.

"from what i have seen, your works are really good. you just haven't found the right company yet, all of those other companies are just blind jerks that can't see that there's a great manhwa in front of them," haewon tried her best to console him while not sounding fake. she hated being in situations like these without sounding awkward, it was rather hard for her to console someone.

jeongguk showed a pained smile and stared off into space.

silence consumed over the two as they finished their food. haewon glanced at jeongguk for a second, he was staring at his drink with his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. he reminded her someone that she used to know, who was long in the past. not wanting the thoughts to continue, she rubbed her face as a way to get rid of the memories.

she ended up staring at him much longer than she intended, she was so caught up thinking about her past that she hadn’t noticed that jeongguk was staring right back at her. he quickly looked away when he noticed that she came back to her senses.

after they were finished eating, jeongguk got up to throw their food away. haewon rested her head on the counter and played her favorite game on her phone. jeongguk leaned forward against the counter and asked, "why did you come home so late? i thought it was your day off."

haewon stared at her phone contemplating whether she should answer him or not. she didn't feel like talking because it would take too much effort.

she conversed in her head, “should i answer? do i want to? no, but... ah whatever.”

finally making her decision she lazily explained, "my coworker was caught stealing customers' medications at work today and my boss needed me to come in to take over the rest of his shift," she moved her head so that she could face him.

"apparently he was an addict but hid it well i guess. every time we had to take drug tests he would have a way to fake them so that they would turn negative,” she paused to take a break and rubbed her eyes, “we also had him do inventory at the end of each day of our over the counter pills since he had been working there for a year or two now, and was trusted," she yawned wanting to stop talking but it was too late now.

"but it turns out that he kind of faked those as well. he would get different friends to buy some every other day, so he wouldn't have to put much work into faking everything and so that nothing looked suspicious when our boss checked everything at the end of the month," she finished explaining, thanking heaven that she could finally stop talking.

jeongguk was nearly speechless by how dedicated that man was. "that's crazy," was all he could let out. "i know right," haewon chuckled.

she got off the stool, "i’m going to head out now. night," she left the kitchen dragging her feet to her room.

"goodnight," jeongguk softly replied. he stood at the counter for a little longer before walking over to the couch and turning on the tv to a random late-night cartoon.

since he was his friend's p.a, it was his job to review the busy work schedule for the next day and memorizing it, or at least he tried to, but he mainly tried to find when he would have time for a break.

feeling drowsy, he tossed his phone onto the coffee table and got comfortable on the couch. he was too tired to even think about going all the way to his room, so he just stayed in the living room. listening to the t.v in the background, he closed his eyes and let sleep wash over him.

[mellometal]

I know I said I don't associate myself with the Panic! fandom anymore, but this is something I have been ACHING to talk about. This is some bad timing, since it was Brent Wilson's birthday recently (yes, his birthday is July 20th, NOT August 20th; source: I've been following him on Twitter for five years and he's actually said this), but this is going to be about Brent and the whole situation with him.

Warning: What I'm about to say about the situation with Brent Wilson (original bassist) is heavily biased, since I do stan him. YEAH. I STAN BRENT MATTHEW WILSON, THE ORIGINAL BASSIST OF PANIC! AT THE DISCO. CRY ABOUT IT. STAY MAD. He's one of the ONLY members of Panic! At The Disco (past and present) who I give a fuck about, besides Ryan Ross, Spencer Smith, and Ian Crawford.

Trigger warning: This will be talking about arrest, jail, drugs (doing and selling), weapons (guns), childbirth, parenthood, and some other things. If these things are triggering for you or make you uncomfortable in any way, you do not have to read this post. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

Disclaimer: I don't know Brent in real life, I'm not in his circle of friends or people he's closest to (like his wife Taylor, his parents, his brother Blake, his in-laws, his irl friends, coworkers, etc.), and this is not me acting like I do. I don't know what his life is like outside of Twitter. The only contact I've ever had with him has been on Twitter, but it was pretty limited.

My thoughts on this situation are MY opinion, any possibilities in my thoughts are just theories and not proven to be true, and I'm not trying to excuse whatever he was allegedly charged with.

Just for the record, I am willing to have a civil conversation with anyone who hates Brent. The minute you attack me or anyone else who likes Brent, or a whole bunch of you start circle jerking about how much you hate him, you're getting blocked. If all you're going to bring up is the shit Brent did when he was in his late teens instead of adding anything useful to the discussion, you're getting blocked too. I already know about that. It happened back in 2004-2006. They were all still kids, to a point. Brent has changed quite a bit since then. The whole "Hate on Brent Wilson" bandwagon is stupid, toxic, and I refuse to jump on it. I've never jumped on it when I was in the Panic! fandom, so why would I do it now?

Remember, without Brent bringing Br3nd0n Ur!3 into Panic!, your precious Br3nd0n wouldn't be successful today. JUST SO YA KNOW. (I'm very salty right now, if you can't already tell.)

If you would like to know about what happened with Brent, a few months ago, he was arrested on (alleged) drug charges and illegal possession of a weapon, along with a traffic violation and something to do with a probation violation too. He was set to go to court back in March for his sentencing, but that's the most recent information I've found. I don't know what the fuck is going on at this point. I don't know if he's been sentenced, if he's doing anything alternative like rehabilitation, nothing. (The reason why I said they're alleged charges is because I don't know if he's even been to court for sentencing or anything like that.)

People's reactions were mixed. Some actually LAUGHED and made a whole bunch of jokes about him being arrested (that's fucking insensitive and cruel). Some felt bad for Brent because he just became a dad (yes, he's a dad, but I'm not posting any pictures of the kid out of respect for Brent and Taylor). Some were shocked. Some weren't surprised (how and why????).

My reaction? It was pretty mixed. I was shocked. I thought I was having a fever dream and what I was seeing was fake at first. When I realized it wasn't fake, I was crushed. I felt absolutely horrible for Brent, Taylor, their kid, and all their loved ones. Like, I care about the guy a lot. Obviously.

Ironically, the band members and/or group members I stan are either the black sheep or they're just not as popular. Or they're the fucking scapegoat almost EVERYONE attacks for the stupidest shit. Brent's the black sheep as well as the scapegoat of Panic!, for example....and I would say that Ian is another black sheep too. Not for any negative reasons. He's simply not as popular, due to the fact he was only in Panic! during the Vices era for a short time. He's underrated as FUCK. I'm one of the black sheep in a lot of places [except for friend groups], even in my own family, so it explains why I stan Brent still.

I just want to say that selling drugs and doing drugs aren't inherently bad things to do. This doesn't mean that I'm for kids doing drugs and selling them. Absolutely not. I want people who do drugs or sell drugs to be treated like human beings. I also want them to be able to seek help easier without the judgment or being treated like a criminal. Personally, I don't do any of that, but I understand why someone would. (This kind of thing hits home for me.)

As far as the whole weapon thing is concerned (it was a gun), I personally don't like them and we need better gun control in the United States. I don't think I'd trust anyone who owns a gun because of the possibility that they would hurt me or worse in an argument or something. I've seen my abuser threaten to pull a gun out on my dad when I was a kid. Thankfully it wasn't loaded, but still. It was scary. I wouldn't own a gun because I'm autistic, mentally ill, and I'm afraid of what I might do in certain situations. If someone wants to own a gun for protection, hunting, target practice, or to collect them, fine. BUT YOU DON'T NEED A HUGE ASS GUN THAT THE MILITARY USES TO GO HUNTING OR FOR TARGET PRACTICE. I don't like them, I don't want one, I don't trust myself with one, guns scare me, and I want better gun control in the United States. It terrifies me that people openly carry. I understand that's the Second Amendment and all, but it doesn't change the fact that it terrifies me. As long as you're responsible with that kind of thing, I don't really care.

I don't know what Brent's reason was for (allegedly) owning a weapon (maybe for protection or something?), but it's none of my business.

In my opinion, this is all stupid shit. There are people who have done horrible things and they're STILL free people, but oh, god forbid you do or sell drugs! THAT'S bad. /s

Here's my response below. I'll type out everything, except for the disclaimers and what he was arrested for. I will start from the fifth paragraph on the first screenshot and continue from there. This is so anyone who has a hard time reading any of the screenshots can read them easier.

(My response was from around the time it was announced that he was arrested. Just so you know.)

First screenshot, fifth paragraph:

First off, I just want to say that this situation is a fucked up one for anyone to be in. I would never wish this on anyone. Especially because now, there's a baby involved, so this makes the situation worse. This is pretty difficult for me to put into words without coming off as bitchy or anything like that, so if I get bitchy here, I apologize.

Second screenshot, fifth paragraph:

I don't know what caused this mess to begin with, but I do know that Brent and his wife Taylor just had a baby a couple months ago (when I was typing this out initially). While it's a good thing for them, it can be assumed that this is also a very stressful time for them.

Combination of third and fourth screenshots (These are pretty much only theories; not facts, and they will be broken up into paragraphs): 

The pandemic most likely isn’t helping their case. Las Vegas is a HUGE city and I’m sure A LOT of people there are REALLY struggling right now in all aspects. Maybe Brent and Taylor are struggling to pay off hospital bills or whatever (to put this into perspective, the average cost for hospital childbirth in Nevada is around $21,239, according to CBS News). The average salary for an accountant in Nevada is anywhere from $34k to $150k, and that all depends on education, experience (how long you’ve been in said career), certifications, and any additional skills. Take into account any other necessities they have to pay for, like their mortgage, bills, insurance, etc. 

Let’s say that they did manage to pay everything else off, but they’re struggling to pay the hospital bills from when they had their baby. (Having a baby is fucking expensive in the United States, regardless of whether there are complications or not, and regardless of whether you have insurance or not.) Let’s say they’ve tried every single option out there, but nothing seems to give still. Maybe the drug selling was a last resort on Brent’s part. (As I’ve said, I don’t know the full story.)

The whole subject of drug paraphernalia hits home for me. My parents both did drugs when I was a kid. I’ve seen it a lot growing up. My dad was, in the past, in and out of jail for drugs and other things that aren’t relevant here. I’m not sure if my mom was in and out of jail for the same shit, but I know for a fact my dad was. Y’know, because he told me. ANYWAYS. 

I get it. You gotta do what you gotta do. It’s not something I’d do personally, but I understand why somebody would do it. I wouldn’t treat them any differently. Maybe they’re selling drugs or whatever to keep themselves from losing their homes, put food on the table for their families, help pay their bills, pay for their education, whatever. It could be a number of things.

Fifth screenshot (people’s reactions to the news and my thoughts on them):

Now...let’s move on to how people are reacting to the news. There’s a lot of mixed reactions. A lot of people feel bad for Brent, especially since he and Taylor just had a baby a couple months ago (as I was typing this). Some people “aren’t surprised” because they were never fans of him in the first place. Others think this is amusing. I’ve seen some people who are solely involved in celebrity news (similar to TMZ) making jokes about the situation, which to me, is appalling.

Let me tell you something. It doesn’t matter if you’re a fan of Brent or not. This shit isn’t funny or cute in the slightest. It sure isn’t funny or cute to anyone who is being affected by the situation, which includes Brent himself, Taylor, their son, and all their loved ones. Like, full stop. Have some decency. Y’all are fucking gross. You can dislike Brent all you want, but he’s a real human being who fucked up. Personally, when I first heard the news, I couldn’t believe it at first. I thought I was having a fever dream. That is, until I looked it up and actually found that it was true. I was CRUSHED. Why? Because Brent is one of the last people I’d even expect to get into this whole mess. 

Sixth screenshot (my thoughts):

If I’m being honest here...like, BRUTALLY honest, Brent needs to be put in REHAB, not jail. For anyone who has been here (on my Instagram) from when I used to dedicate this account to vintage Panic!, you know how I’ve never said anything but kind things about Brent. From the few times I’ve interacted with him a little bit on Twitter and from how I’ve seen him interact with others on the site, Brent is one of the sweetest people ever. I’m being genuine here. He’s a good guy who fucked up and did some dumb shit. Does that make him bad? No. Then again, as far as I’ve read about the current situation at hand, it’s too early to really determine anything. None of us know what caused him to have drug paraphernalia or anything else that he was arrested for in the first place.

Seventh screenshot (wrap-up):

I’m gonna wrap this up here. My heart aches for Brent, Taylor, their son, and all their loved ones. I hope that everything gets straightened out, all sides of the story come out, and that Brent can get his shit together again. Like he had been doing since he was kicked out of Panic!. I wish everyone involved nothing but the absolute best right now, given how fucked up the whole situation is. (Just to clear up any confusion, when I was referring to Taylor, I’m NOT referring to Taylor Swift or any other celebrity with the name Taylor. I’m referring to Brent’s wife.) 

If you’ve read this far, thank you! If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I’ll try to answer as best as I can.

Have my thoughts on the situation changed since February - March of this year? No.

I think that Brent needs some kind of help. That's why I mentioned rehab. It's obvious to me that's the kind of help he needs. I don't believe jail is helpful in certain circumstances (like drug charges, traffic violations, and other nonviolent crimes)....at least in the United States. They treat people who do drugs and/or sell drugs like they're subhuman. Yet there are people who have committed violent, deplorable, horrific crimes, and they're still free people. Funny how that works. I'm not too educated about how the jail system works in other countries, so I can't exactly tell you how I feel about that system on an international standpoint.

Brent should be with his wife and child. I hope the guy gets his shit together again. I believe Brent WILL get his shit together. Genuinely. I would never wish anything bad on him.

I don't crucify Brent like a lot of people in the Panic! fandom do. The only reason I would hypothetically do so is if Brent actually committed violent, deplorable, horrific crimes (i.e., chomo bullshit, trafficking...like, extreme shit) that would warrant him being locked up and I'd drop him completely at that point. OBVIOUSLY I DON'T SEE HIM DOING ANYTHING LIKE THAT. EVER. THAT'S JUST HYPOTHETICAL.

Anyways....have a good day, y'all.

[elusive---ivory]

Circus Act - 2

Woop woop, part 2. I've been extremely exhausted but here we are.

Part 1

Part 2

Ps: Shout out to my girl, @gloomyladyy for drawing Sandy for me. She looks stunning 💕💕

Soon, it was Monday. Arthur had spent most of the weekend, hanging out with his mother, and writing subtle notes in his journal.

As Arthur got to work, he was greeted with those kind eyes he met last Thursday.

Sandy was setting up her locker, which just so happened to be right next to Arthur's.

"Hey Art, how are you?" Sandy greeted Arthur with a smile. She seemed to have lots of makeup on, and judging by her right eyelid, it was to hide something.

Arthur smiled back, opening his locker. "Good morning, Sandy."

"Morning, Artie. Ms. Cheekbones." Randall walked into the room, making an annoying appearance.

Sandy ignored Randall, pushing past him before walking into a changing room of some sort.

Randall scoffed. "What's her deal?"

Arthur shrugged.

Randall walked over to Arthur, opening up his locker.

"I heard about the other day. Kids are fucking savages." Randall commented.

Arthur sighed, fidgeting with his shoes. "They were just kids. Just leave it be."

"That kind of thinking, they'll just walk all over ya." Randall handed Arthur a brown paper bag.

"What is it?" Arthur asked, opening the bag.

Inside the bag was a gun and about 19 bullets.

Arthur scoffed, thinking it was some sort of prank. When he looked up at Randall, he could see that he was serious.

"Randall, I'm not supposed to have a gun." Arthur hushed, gritting his teeth.

"Relax, Art. You can pay me back. You're my boy. Besides chicks love guns." Randall walked away, pointing at the changing room.

Arthur hid the gun in his bag, and went back to lacing his enormous clown shoes, and promptly placing the shoes directly on his feet. Afterward, Arthur sat at the vanity, painting his face, putting on the mask of his clown persona, Carnival.

Sandy walked out of the changing room, decked in clown gear. Her dress seemed to consist of a red, white, and black color scheme, topped with a silly little hat on her black hair. The makeup she had on seemed to go with her own scheme.

Arthur's jaw laid slightly adjacent as he locked eyes on Sandy's outfit. He was barely finished with his makeup, and she was already dressed.

Sandy walked over to the vanity. "I love your makeup, Arthur. The shades of blue really contrasts with the red."

Arthur blinked for a second. "Thank you. I like your makeup, too."

Those emerald eyes hit her again. Despite feeling anxious from being around all sorts if guys, Sandy felt some comfort around Arthur. He was charming and during. Almost like Dennis, when she first met him. She smile faded.

Sandy cleared her throat. "Anyway, Hoyt wanted to tell you that you should come with me to that old folks home. He says that you could show me the ropes."

Arthur nodded. "Yeah. I could do that."

The old folks home was just down a few blocks from the studio.

"Good afternoon, elders. We have some exciting company today. Meet Ms. Cello, and Carnival." The director of the home introduced Sandy and Arthur, as they got into place.

Sandy got into center. She walked over to what looked to be a very old looking gramophone, and placed a record. The record played Somewhere Over The Rainbow from the Wizard of Oz. The old people in the lounge room seemed to smile as Sandy began to dance around them. She did magic tricks, and pulled a handkerchief out of her tiny hat.

Arthur stood in the back, amazed. Sandy was fantastic, wowing the crowd with her tricks. Arthur couldn't compete with that. When it was his turn, Arthur froze up.

He felt a repressed laugh crawled up in the back of his throat. Suddenly, the laughter erupted from Arthur.

The elderly didn't seem amused. Some of the elders were confused or concerned about the man laughing in front of them.

Sandy was also concerned. She had never heard this kind of laughter come from Arthur before. Sandy grabbed Arthur to the side.

Arthur was hunched over, trying to repress his laughter with his hand.

"Arthur? Are you ok?" Sandy asked, placing a hand on his head.

Arthur looked away from her. He was already embarrassed enough.

"Arthur, it's ok. What's wrong?" Sandy tried comforting Arthur, but the home director had kicked them out.

Afterwards, Arthur's laughter subsided and seemed to be more calm. The walk back to Haha's was quiet.

"I have a condition." Arthur broke the silence after a while.

Sandy looked over at him. "Oh, what kind of condition?"

"It's called the pseudobulbar affect. I was diagnosed with it when I was young." Arthur sighed, looking at the ground.

"That's some heavy stuff, Arthur." Sandy walked back over to Arthur.

"You probably don't want to be around me anymore." Arthur's thick eyebrows furrowed. He looked up at Sandy like a hurt puppy.

"Are you joking? Of course, I want to be around you. You're the only guy I can actually talk to." Sandy smiled.

Arthur's face lit up. He seemed surprised at her answer. Arthur was so used to rejection, and Sandy didn't seem to mind him at all. It was such a relief to meet someone kind and considerate.

"Hey, how about, after work, I treat you to a drink or something?" Sandy asked.

Arthur nodded. "Yeah, that would be great."

His usual coworkers never invited him to anything. He was always casted out of their social group. Even with people like Randall and Gary, he felt invisible. It wasn't until Sandy came that someone actually saw him.

Sandy smiled, grabbing onto his arm. "Well, then come on, silly."

An old joint called Martha's was a place where Sandy's cousin, Deliah, worked. Sandy would go every Monday to get discounted drinks from her cousin.

"Sandy!" Dee exclaimed, giving her a tight hug. "Ooh, and who's this?"

Sandy laughed at Dee's suggestive comment. It was nice seeing her out of rehab. Dee had a long history with ketamine. Sandy was proud to see her every Monday working to better herself.

"This is Arthur. My coworker. Arthur, this is my cousin, Dee." Sandy said.

Arthur hesitantly shook Dee's hand.

Arthur looked around at all the people in the bar. Everyone in the bar made him incredibly nervous. He clinged onto Sandy's arm as they walked over towards a booth.

"So, how long have you been working for Hoyt?" Sandy asked, sitting next to Arthur on the velvet booth.

Arthur thought for a second. "A few months. My social worker recommended me the job."

"That's good. You know, my boyfriend tried to convince me not to get the job. He said 'think about how it'd look on him.'" Sandy sneered.

Arthur raised his eyebrow. "Boyfriend? You've never mentioned him before."

"There's a reason for that. He's a dick." Sandy rolled her eyes thinking about Dennis.

Arthur looked down at his drink, barely even taking a sip.

Sandy opened up a pack of cigarettes, and placed one to her lips.

Arthur studied the cigarette pressed against her lips. How she inhaled the smoke, and then letting it out in the air. Sandy seemed peaceful and content. Arthur noticed in the strobe lights of the bar that Sandy had a nasty bruise on her face. From her cheek, all the way up to her eyelid.

Sandy felt Arthur staring at her.

"What happened to your face?" Arthur asked.

Sandy gulped. "I ran into a door." She lied.

Arthur glared. He didn't like liars. Just before Arthur said anything else. Dee walked up to the booth with Dennis.

"Sandy, I'm so sorry. I tried to stop him. I told him that you weren't here." Dee apologized, profusely.

"It's fine, Dee." Sandy distinguished her cigarette, throwing it on the ground. "I have to go, Arthur. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

Arthur could tell that she didn't want to leave. Dennis walked up to the booth, grabbing Sandy's arm.

"Go wait in the car, kitten." Dennis growled.

Sandy nodded, turning her head away from Arthur.

"Listen here, buddy. If I ever see you hanging around my girlfriend, again. I'll fucking kill you." Dennis grabbed Arthur by the shirt and threw him on the table. "Understand?"

Arthur nodded. As Dennis walked off, Arthur had the urge to grab the gun from out of his bag.

'She deserves better.' Arthur thought. 'Who does he think he is?'

Taglist: @gloomyladyy @memory-mortis @jokerflecker @joker-flecked-me @princessgeekface

(If you'd like to be tagged, message me/send an ask!! I'm always happy to add people)

The Woman In Velvet Series

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.06: “Optimism”

THEN: Starts out pretty ominous, with clock-ticky music, Jack's grace getting sucked out, "this is the end of everything," and Jack considering himself useless. We're reminded that New Charlie exists (aw, Dean looked so pretty in AU Land) and Jack has "the mind of a hunter." Michael hurting people and Dean feels guilty (aw, Sam's Beard of Despair, how I miss you). Sounds like we're in for a real downer of an episode, friends.

NOW: Nebraska. Happy music. A cheerful librarian opens up shop, and she's cute as can be but I wore that blouse in the 80s and it needs to stay there (JUST SAY NO TO THE RUFFLED YOKE, LADIES). Her name is Harper, and she has a kind-of-date with a guy named Winston tonight, though she is clearly Not Into You, Winston. An (apparent) coworker named Miles hears her "scream" and comes to her aid, brandishing a stapler, and is reminded that he needs to mind his own business. Winston leaves, clearly walking on air, and then STAYIN' ALIVE STARTS PLAYING and we focus on Winston's feet just like the iconic opening scene of Saturday Night Fever (if you're too young to remember, watch this, IT'S IMPORTANT CULTURAL KNOWLEDGE and there WILL BE A QUIZ LATER) and y'all don't even know how much I love this song. YOU DON'T KNOW. I can't help it. My mom was a huge Bee Gees fan, partially because she was very into Barry Gibb.

Coincidence?

What can I say? I am my mother's child.

Now, where were we?

(Pretty much where we always are, so could you please just move this along?)

Sorry for the digression. Anyway. Now I suspect this isn't going to be a downer episode after all. (Turns out it was directed by Richard Speight, which would have been a clue if I'd known that earlier, bless him.) While I've been digressing, Winston has happily bopped down the street, only to have a hand cover his mouth and drag him off-screen. There's a record scratch and a squirt of dark goo and a scream, so I guess it did turn out to be a downer for Winston, but not for me.

Title card!

{Sidebar: I didn't realize Saturday Night Fever was directed by John Badham, who went on to direct several episodes of Supernatural.}

Jack's drinking coffee in the bunker. He takes a sip and then pours a huge amount of sugar into it, which immediately makes me think of this scene from The Fly when Jeff Goldblum, who does not yet realize that he is turning into a fly, does the same thing.

(Spoiler alert: Ahem.)

Dean walks in and asks what he's doing, and Jack explains that everything tastes different without his powers, and he can't get the coffee to taste the way he likes it. That's because coffee is nasty, Jack. (And also, thanks to the Continuity Fairy for remembering that food tasted different to Cas when he didn't have grace.) Dean asks if Jack has seen Sam, because that's what Dean does; he probably walked in the door and felt a disturbance in the Force and realized he didn't know where Sam was. From Jack, we learn that (1) Dean went on an overnight run to Mobby's love shack cabin and (b) Sam went on a hunt with Charlie without telling Dean. Is Dean okay with this? Are we gonna okay with this? Couldn't he have at least sent a text message? He's supposed to be setting an example!

"Explain to me again how you just let Sam LEAVE."

I guess Sam had to go himself, rather than send someone else, because this is one of those times when there's no random hunters in the bunker. (And where's Rowena? Did Charlie abandon her in the Southwest? Did they have a fight?) Jack imagines Sam and Charlie are doing something "really exciting."

Cut to Sam and Charlie sitting quietly in a truck outside Memphis, bored out of their minds. Hee! It's the kind of crappy old truck I always want Sam to drive, so I love it. They're staring at a bus stop with an ad for Pete the Pestinator, who seems to be an insect exterminator. (Spoiler alert: ahem again.) Sam confirms that "this is where all those people went missing," although if he's been sitting in that truck long enough to be bored, he really should have nailed that down by now. Charlie says "yep." More silent sitting.

Back to the bunker. Dean seems surprised that Sam left Jack there alone (where's Cas?) and Jack says "Sam wanted someone around when you came back. He's worried about you."

"Yeah, that sounds like him," Dean grumbles, and hello, kettle, the pot just called, and said you're black. Jack offers some encouragement, telling him no one blames him for Michael, and Dean says "Cool. Well, I blame me, so." His self-flagellation is interrupted by Jack's Cough of Great Concern. "Maybe I'm allergic to sitting around doing nothing," Jack snarks.

Dean sits down for a heart-to-heart, and Jack says he's been hunting with Cas and wants to do more. Dean says "No offense, Cas is an insurance policy on those hunts." Jack looks hurt. I don't understand this at all. Why wouldn't Jack already know that Cas is there to protect him? And why would this hurt his feelings? I'm so confused. But I immediately forget it, because Dean says "Sam's just trying to keep you safe, okay? He's a smart guy." AND THEN WE CUT TO THIS.

Bless you, Richard Speight, writer Steve Yockey, bless you both.

I literally did burst out laughing at Sam and his fidget spinner. Charlie is not amused, and Sam puts his toy away with some embarrassment.

Bunker. Jack's found a report on our dead friend Winston, who seemed to have human bitemarks taken out of his corpse. And others have gone missing in the area. We skip part of a conversation, but whatever it was, Dean says Sam won't like it. "Sam's not here," says Jack. Oh, no you don't, Jack. Don't you go ignoring the Chief's directives just because he's not here. Dean says he'll go check it out alone, but Jack suddenly remembers Sam's Law and reminds Dean about the Buddy System.

We can be hunting buddies!

Okay, uh, (a), don't call it that, and (b), YOU'RE gonna back ME up?

Oh, Dean. You didn't do the (1) and (b) thing that I love so much. Jack gets to be the one to bare a little bit of his soul now, telling Dean that he also feels guilty about Michael, because he could have killed him but he was "distracted and stupid." He doesn't want to sit around feeling guilty all day, he wants to hunt.

Looks like that was the right button to push, because we cut to Sam on the phone, clearly not a fan of the plan and telling Dean to be careful. I assume his reluctance is because he doesn't trust Jack to watch Dean's back. But Sam, if you can trust Maggie to hunt alone, you can trust Dean with a novice backup. (I know, I know, Dean is more important than Maggie.)

Sam asks again if Charlie is sure this is the right place, and she says it's where four people disappeared. And while she was scouting around, she found a mason jar full of goo. Is this the same goo we saw when Winston was killed? (Spoiler alert: no.) And now she's trying to figure out what they're hunting, so she's reading. I'd have done my reading before the stakeout, but that's just me. (I'd also have done some reading instead of sitting there glaring at Sam while he enjoyed his fidget spinner, but that's also just me.)

(I also might have thought of more interesting things to do while I was stuck in a car with Sam, but they would have interfered with the stakeout. And they aren't anything Charlie would have been interested in anyway.)

Cut to Dick's Red Rooster Diner (ha ha, I see you, Speight). According to Winston's obituary, he had breakfast here every morning. Jack agrees with me that it's an odd thing to put in an obituary, but Dean says that when someone dies young, you don't know what to put in those things. (Oh, think of 20-something Dean's obituary.) He introduces them to the waitress as Agents Berry and Charles, and the only thing I can think of is Chuck Berry, so if someone has a better idea, let me know. He asks for details about Winston, and the only detail she can provide is that he's dead. Jack dutifully writes that detail in his little notebook. (BLESS.)

This waitress is wonderfully snippy, knows her rights, and isn't the least bit interested in talking to these FBI agents, but when Dean hands her some cash she changes her mind. She says they should should be more interested in Harper, who Winston just started "courting," and Jack is confused.

What's courting?

It's what you do before you start dating.

Ah, and that's the thing you do before the sex.

Sometimes you just have the sex.

Okay, Dean's wrong, courting is what you do instead of dating, but this is still a wonderful exchange. And the next part is wonderful too, cutting between the waitress and some customers explaining that Harper was popular in high school, but her boyfriend ran off, and now all these men connected to her have died, and she's really into romance books, and ending on I've heard too much Dean and I'm confused Jack.

Love this.

Back at the stakeout, Sam's biting his nails, which I also love for some reason, and of course the only time we've ever seen him bite his nails was when he was worried about Dean. New Charlie picks right up on it. She tells him Dean will be fine, and comments that he's got other friends, right? Which I don't understand, because it doesn't matter what other friends he has, he's not hunting with them. He's hunting with Jack. "He used to have a pretty damn good wingman," Sam says, and I think no, Sam, what are you saying, he still has you. She says he should call "that guy" to check on him, and Sam says "that guy was you." Charlie gives him a look. "No, it wasn't." And she's right, Sam. SHE IS NOT YOUR CHARLIE. And also, was Charlie ever really Dean's wingman? I don't think so. Sam, of course. Cas, literal wingman. But not Charlie. Charlie was the little sister.

Sam apologizes, and then says "I'm just saying, I'm not surprised you survived the apocalypse." Which isn't what you were saying at all, Sam. Charlie is surprised she survived, because she was just a programmer at Richard Roman Enterprises (Dick Roman! I wonder what happened to your AU version), living with the love of her life, Cara. My heart skipped a beat because I was so ready, guys, for the love of Charlie's life to be Dr. Cara Roberts from Sex and Violence, but apparently not. {Sidebar fic prompt: Sam. Charlie. Dr. Cara. Three-way.) Charlie's Cara was a baker. Charlie tells a sad story about waiting for help that never came, and Cara eventually being killed by people, not angels. Society falls apart. (Or, as Dean once said, demons I get; people are crazy.) Sam insists society isn't falling apart here, and Charlie says "not yet."

Just like last week, we're getting some needed differentiation between the characters we lost and their AU counterparts, which I appreciate.

I also appreciate pretty, attentive, sympathetic Sam.

Diner. Dean calls Jack "Mighty Mouse," for some reason, and congratulations him on finding a case. He tries to teach him about the importance of pie, but Jack's more interested in courting. He's never been exposed to off-screen romance, unless Gabriel and Rowena counts (Dean assures him it doesn't, but how would Jack have been exposed to Gabriel/Rowena anyway, since it happened while he was in AU Land and Gabriel didn't make it back?) Dean promises he'll give him The Talk when they get back, but right now they need to concentrate on finding Harper. {Sidebar fic prompt: Dean's and Sam's versions of The Talk. Would Dean's be like Dean's speech from Rock and a Hard Place?} Jack speculates she might not be human, and Dean says they're going to find out, and it's going to work like a romance novel. Hmm!

Cut to the library, where Harper is working. Dean enters and identifies himself as FBI, with questions about Winston. She doesn't want to talk, and he pushes. Then Jack shows up, asking for a book about the area's history, and defends her against the big mean FBI guy. Dean says "why don't you back off, kid" and Jack responds "No, you back off, old man" and DEAN'S FACE. This was clearly NOT IN THE SCRIPT. I love it. Dean slinks off, dejected, to examine his gracefully-aging face in the rear-view mirror. {Sidebar: I honestly think Jensen is aging a lot better than Dean is. Dean looks tired a lot of the time, and I'd like to believe Show is doing that on purpose, but I don't think it's the case. Jensen always looks awesome.} Harper is delighted, and apparently smitten, judging by the music. Jack introduces himself as "Jack Smith" and she invites him to her apartment, where she has the perfect book.

Why does this library have those convenience store perp measurements at the door? Does it get robbed a lot? Also, how many episodes have signs in the background with the title of a different episode? Not very many, I'm guessing.

As they leave, Miles the Stapler Guy follows and asks where she's going. It must be close to closing time, because Harper says she'll come back and lock up. Miles, who's carrying a bag of trash, refuses to shake Jack's hand. As Jack and Harper go one way, he stomps off in the other direction. I'm suspicious, and so is Dean, who gets out of the car to follow him. As Miles puts the library's trash in an inappropriately small residential bin, he hears a noise. We then cut to Dean, who hears Miles scream but just keeps walking? But then a trash can is knocked over and that gets his attention. He finds Miles dead, and we get a monster POV shot watching him.

Stakeout. Charlie's still reading. Apparently she brought all the books. She says she hates hunting, which surprises Sam, because she's so good at it. She points out that she's good at it because the alternative was death. "I mean, no offense, but who wants to be a hunter? This job, just a lot of tears and death."

Sam says "you said something like that to me once, long ago, about hunting." He quickly apologizes for once again conflating her with Our Charlie. At first I was annoyed at him, but then I started thinking about how awful Our Charlie's death was for him, with the MoC, and the fear, and the worry, and the guilt, and his brother saying he should be the one on the funeral pyre instead, and you know what? I'm gonna cut him some slack for trying to forget all of that ever happened. A lot of slack, in fact.

Charlie casually drops that she's glad this is her last hunt. Did you give the Chief your two week's notice, Charlie? I DON'T THINK SO. She plans to get away from monsters and people, and "live on a mountaintop or something... as long as there's good wifi." I'm sure Sam can get you set up with his magical wifi, Charlie, if you stay on his good side.

Harper's apartment. She seems to be all about love, with a decorative "amore" sign in the kitchen and a big red heart hanging on the wall. She suddenly realizes it's weird that she brought him to her apartment, though she's thinking "putting the moves on you" weird and I'm thinking "inviting a potential serial killer into your home" weird. But maybe I listen to too much My Favorite Murder.

She leaves the room to get the book (odd that it's not on the stuffed bookshelves in her living room, but they're all full of romance novels). Jack asks why the FBI was "hassling" her, and she tells him about Winston's death as he surreptitiously puts a silver coin on the floor and splashes holy water all over his hands. A call comes from Dean, but he ignores it. When she comes back with the book, she notices the coin on the floor and picks it up. She touches his hand when she gives him the coin and notices that it's wet. I would have put the holy water on the coin, although a wet coin on the floor might be as weird as wet hands. He just laughs weirdly and then does a fake cough AND SAYS CHRISTO. SOMEONE FINALLY REMEMBERED CHRISTO. Oh, my heart. I've been waiting 13 years for this moment. She doesn't react to it, so she seems pretty human. He says he's nervous, so she sits on the couch and pats the seat next to her.

Stakeout. Charlie has found something in the books called a Musca. Sam already knows it's a man-fly hybrid (IT'S THE FLY; OUR MONSTER IS JEFF GOLDBLUM) and that no one's seen them, so if they do exist, they keep to themselves. She's impressed with his Sammy smarts. He says he's read all the books, but if he'd read this one, he'd know that every few hundred years a male Musca can't find a mate and he "abandons his community and starts using people's bodies to nest, binding them together with a viscous goo." Ew.

As they walk, in the background we see a figure approaching the two women who are sitting on the bus stop bench. It's clothed in black, carrying a black briefcase, and it has a giant head. At first I think it's literally a giant fly's head. But when Charlie notices it, we get a closer look, and it's a large black hood, like a beekeeper's outfit. It sits down and then casually scoots closer to the women, who scoot away, and it's hilarious.

Harper's apartment. She asks Jack where he's from, and he tells her he lives in Lebanon, Kansas. NO, JACK. DON'T TELL ANYONE WHERE YOU LIVE. Jack coughs some more and then notices a picture of Harper with her boyfriend, Vance. She says he left town after high school because he wanted to see the world, and Jack seems astonished that anyone would leave her. And that was when her bad luck started, but she tries to stay optimistic. "Me too," Jack says. "I had some not-so-great stuff happen in my past. Trying to be positive... it can be hard." Oh, Jack, sweetie. They gaze into each other's eyes and it looks like they're going to kiss. Jack's phone buzzes with a text from Dean that says CALL ME NOW.

Jack? Do you believe in love at first sight?

Do you... (music swells)... mind if I use the bathroom?

Ha!

Jack hides in the bathroom to call Dean. He tells him Harper isn't a monster, and he thinks she's in love with him. Although Dean's sure that's not the case, Jack says "but if she is, I need to know everything about sex. Go." Ha again! Dean tells him about Miles's death, which makes Jack wonder if she's cursed. Dean says it's more like all the guys around her are cursed. "Like me," Jack ponders, just before we get another monster POV shot and a strangled shout from Dean. The phone goes dead.

Jack comes back into the living room and Harper asks if he's okay and if he wants to go for coffee. Then the door bursts open and Dean comes in, and I wonder why she's freaking out until I remember that Dean is Bad FBI Guy to her. He quickly blocks the door and tell her they're here to save her from... whatever it is that's suddenly growling and banging on her door. "At first I thought it was a ghost," he says, "but then it punched me in the face." She's freaked out about a ghost, but Jack reassuringly (NOT!) tells her that he's saying it's NOT a ghost. Dean recognizes a photo and it turns out the monster is her old boyfriend Vance, who she didn't even realize was dead.

For some reason Dean isn't carrying a lot of weapons, but he has a silver knife and finds a silver letter opener on Harper's desk. Silver will slow it down, he tells them, but there's only one way to kill the undead boyfriend. Vance breaks the door down before we learn what that is. Dean starts fighting with the silver knife and tells Jack to get Harper out of there.

Stakeout. It's nighttime now. A lone man sits at the bus stop as Sam tries to convince Charlie that she can't drop out of society. She needs people, and also, it's hard to walk away from being a hunter. "I tried. Our Charlie tried." You know, for someone who did want out of hunting, and did try to get out of it, Sam spends a lot of time convincing others to do it, or at least enabling them. I mean, Dean was all "Patience, if you can live a normal life, do it," and Sam was all "well, Claire, if you're gonna hunt, I guess I should show you how to hack." Although that (and teaching Ghoul!Adam to shoot) was more about protecting someone determined/forced to be a hunter than recruiting. So maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway, if anyone recognized the futility of getting out of the life, it would be him.

Jeff Goldblum shows up again and sits by his next victim. Charlie wants to go for the kill, but Sam thinks they should wait for him to make his move, in case he's just into weird fashion. Look, Sam, if a guy likes wearing a black beekeeper's bonnet and sidling up to random strangers at bus stops, he deserves to be hunted, whether or not he's actually part bee. When the bus shows up, it blocks their view of the duo. When it leaves, the bench is empty. Which could mean they just got on the bus, but we see something disappearing behind the stop. Sam decides it's a go after all.

Let's stick with this story, rather than cutting back and forth between them like the show did.

Sam and Charlie find a door with a bunch of goo on the handle. Sam says Charlie found something in the books that theorized a brass nail dripped in sugar water would kill a musca. Because yes, of course sugar water, WHICH FLIES EAT, would kill a fly man. (Rolls my eyes at this otherwise delightful episode.) Charlie reminds him they have neither of those things. "So we get creative," Sam says. I'm expecting some kind of MacGuyvering involving a can of Coke, or Sam's sugary coffee. (Spoiler alert: I'm wrong.)

{Sidebar: Why are all the methods of killing monsters so weirdly specific? Chopping off the head should kill ANYTHING.}

They go through the door, which surprisingly leads them into an abandoned warehouse. It's full of flies (normal ones, not half-man flies) and smells like pine cleaner and rotting meat. Yum. Eventually Sam finds the briefcase, which is full of what looks like candy wrappers and also has a white cloth, which he sniffs to discover chloroform. Dude. Don't sniff the chloroform rag. Charlie finds the most recent victim, still alive, by a pile of bodies. Something grabs Charlie's hand. She pulls loose, but falls off a low platform (seriously, it's like two feet high) and... loses consciousness? Okay. Maybe he chloroformed her and I missed it. I'm old and decrepit and this would have barely bruised me. He must have chloroformed her.

Sam tries to wake her up, but is interrupted by the WORST MONSTER COSTUME EVER. Oh god, you guys, this fly man head is so bad. SO BAD.

{Sidebar: Did you know that you don't see much of the shark in Jaws because the model was so bad, Steven Spielberg decided he wanted to shoot it as little as possible? And it actually made the movie better because the unseen monster was so much scarier? Just saying, Speight.}

(Um, have you watched any movies that were made before 1980?)

Well, that was uncalled for.

Jeff Goldblum attacks Sam and gets goo on him, and if this were really a fly, wouldn't that goo be digesting him? Isn't that how flies eat? (Why yes, it is.) Charlie regains consciousness and stabs it with something, which gets it off Sam long enough for him to shoot it in the head. Creativity in action! So, I guess I got my wish. Interesting that, just like last week, the guys figured out that there are actions that will kill anything.

Aftermath! Charlie and Sam are driving, and Sam says he feels bad for the Musca, which could have been happy if it had stayed home with its people. Subtle, Sam. Charlie's all, yeah, okay, I'm like the bug, except not so much. As we see the Musca family coming to retrieve their brother's body, Sam asks Charlie not to leave. "If we help people, then maybe they'll help people, and all that, and that's worth it. Even with all the tears and death, it's worth it." Oh, Sammy. {sniff} She says she'll think about it.

Back to Jack and Harper. It was broad daylight when they got to her apartment, so I don't know why it's nighttime now. How long did he spend in the bathroom? No wonder she asked if he was okay. Cut to Dean gleefully fighting the zombie, who suddenly stops fighting and runs off.

Jack and Harper run to the library, where she struggles with the keys until Jack remembers she left without locking the door. They scurry inside and he locks it. As they hide behind the counter, they see Zombie Vance run by. Jack tells her not to worry, because he locked the door, and she asks if he flipped the switch under the lock? Obviously he didn't, and she goes to do it herself. As she stands, looking out the door, Vance shows up. She unlocks the door, which Jack obviously DID lock, and opens it. He hands her the history book - I guess Jack dropped it - and they kiss.

Um. whoops. Vance is actually still Harper's boyfriend. And he has to eat human flesh. Like, Jack's, for example. Vance lunges for Jack, who hides in the stacks as Harper gives him the villain dialogue over the library's PA system. She likes Jack, but he's obviously a hunter, and she comes from a long line of necromancers, so it would never work out between them. She killed Vance to keep him from leaving after high school, and killing every other guy in her sights is just a fun little romantic roleplay for them. We get a little scare when a hand appears on Jack's shoulder (been a lot of that going around lately), but it's Dean. He tells Jack they have to get Vance back into his grave and then drive a stake into his heart to keep him there. And they're going to convince him using another romance novel method.

Jack tells her he wants to do things Vance can't do - walk her down the aisle, raise a family. This draws Vance out, who lunges at him but finds himself facing Dean. Vance gets Dean against a wall, and Harper calls out to him. Dean thinks she's going to call him off, but she says "Baby, kill him!" and Dean's "huh" look is precious to me. Instead, Dean slaps a handcuff on his arm and cuffs him to a pole or something. Jack cuffs his other arm to a library cart, I think, which is mobile and therefore defeats the purpose of cuffing, but good try, Jack. The cuffs burn Vance, so they're silver or enchanted or something. Seems like a successful hunt, but when the guys look up, the door is open and Harper is gone.

Later we see Harper and her suitcase at a cafe, writing a letter to Jack. So she had time to go home and pack a suitcase, and Dean and Jack didn't go to her apartment and look for her? Guys. Come on. She's sorry she's going to have to kill Jack, but it means she can bring him back to life and they'll be together forever. See you soon, she writes, sealing the envelope addressed to Jack Smith, c/o the Lebanon, Kansas post office. I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET HER KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, JACK. Is Harper going to be a Big Bad this season? Or maybe a Little Bad? I wouldn't mind seeing her again. She's a charming little villain.

Finally, Jack's drinking coffee again, probably with a lot of sugar, in the bunker. This scene, with them facing each other, is a nice callback to the beginning of the episode. Dean tells Jack he did good, and Jack pushes for more hunts, because he was right. It's not about being right, Dean tells him, it's about what you do after you're wrong, after you've made a mistake. And about not beating yourself up, Jack points out. Dean tells him he's pretty smart, and Jack smiles and coughs and Dean promises to talk about getting him on more hunts when Sam gets back (BECAUSE SAM IS THE ONE TO ASK, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT) and Jack lies about being fine and then coughs some more and shows Dean his bloody palm and collapses on the floor with blood oozing from his mouth and nose and WELL. THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY.

And the episode ends, without Sam and Dean sharing a single scene. Has that happened before? It's unsettling. I like the ep, though. I liked the relationship focus - Sam bonding with New Charlie, Dean bonding with Jack. I liked the humor. I liked that Sam wasn't ignored, even though the brothers had separate storylines. I liked the continuation of things that have been happening this season, the gentle reminder (but not constant siren) of Dean's guilty feelings and Sam's leadership and Jack's issues. And, of course, CHRISTO!

And there was one weird thing I noticed on first watch, but it didn't jump out at me on rewatch so I don't remember when it happened... Dean said "Son of a B." This is the second episode where they said something weird instead of bitch. What's going on there? Is Dean never going to say "son of a bitch" again? Because that's not good.

What did you guys think? And please help me stay unspoiled; thanks!

[shall-we-imagine]

Lovely. (Sigurd Curtis×Reader *AU*)

Requested: 15. "If my day gets any worse, I'm asking hell if they're having an exchange program." + 22. "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops." From the prompt list.

Genre: Fluff.

(Second Person Point of View)

"I'm telling you, Amelia! This psycho lady kept insisting I give her a cheese burger with no cheese! And when I tried to explain to her that this is basically just a burger not a cheeseburger, she went nuts!" You complain into the phone, as you struggle to open the door to your apartment without dropping your grocery at the same time.

"Like what even is this?! And when I finally gave up and told her I'll get her that cheese burger with no cheese.." you recite the customer's words in a tone of mockery, "She just still wasn't having it! She asked to speak to the manager who wasn't even there at the time! All my coworkers and even some customers had to intervene before she tries to kill me or something.."

You hear loud laughter from the other side of the phone. "I'm sorry; it's just-" your friend pauses to laugh even harder, "it's actually hilarious; I'm sorry."

"Amelia!" You whine dramatically, "Stop laughing at my sorrows!" Even though you let out a little laugh yourself, you were still willing to demand she doesn't laugh...just because.

After locking the door, you slip off your shoes, placing it near the door frame, then walk into the kitchen to put the items you bought in their correct places.

"At least it's over, though, right?"

"Well, that's not all. After waiting at the bus stop for like 15 minutes, I realized I had forgotten my purse in the changing room, so I had to go back to get my purse then walk to the bus stop again, and by now, I'd already missed the bus, of course. Therefore, I had to wait for 30 minutes for the next bus." You sigh, "And don't even get me started on that weird guy from the supermarket!"

"What happened?" Amelia giggles, still amused by your irritation.

"So, you know how I prefer buying groceries alone because it makes everything quicker and helps me focus better and not forget anything?" You begin placing items on shelves and in the fridge, not planning to stop the phone call before you're done ranting.

"Yeah?"

"Well, this random dude that I never even met before decided that my angry aura wasn't enough to keep him away, no! He decided to just walk up to me, for no reason at all, and make conversation. Now, this wouldn't be too bad if he didn't follow me throughout the entire time I was shopping. Even after I expressed my discomfort and annoyance, he just couldn't take a hint! And I was in no mood for being flirted with or being talked to at all actually." You huff.

"Woah, it's like the universe is just purposely pissing you off."

"Tell me about it! If my day gets any worse, I'm asking hell if they're having an exchange program."

Amelia laughs. "Just get some sleep; you'll be fine." She assures.

"Yeah, I'm really exhausted; I just want to pass out for a week!" You become more and more eager to drown in your own bed the closer you get to your room.

"Well, I'll let you nap for now, but don't forget the essay; we have to hand it over on Tuesday!" Knowing your habit of procrastination, Amelia never fails to remind you of the stuff you need to do. Multiple times.

"I know I know; I'll get started right after I wake up..and eat..and maybe watch an episode of-" She cuts off your already clear intentions of procrastinating.

"(Y/N)! Right after you wake up and eat! Don't make me come over there and supervise as you write!" She threatens.

You groan, "Fine; I'll do it."

After Amelia declares her temporary victory, you end the phone call and get comfortable in bed, ready to get some rest before you have to do your assignments. You set your alarm for an hour after the current time then place your phone on the nightstand.

The mattress and pillow partly engulf your body in heavenly softness, and you happily let the irritation from earlier float away.

However, life seemed to have more troubles to throw at you today.

The sound of drilling coming from the other side of the wall behind your bed startles you into full consciousness. Frowning, you wait a few minutes in hopes the drilling would stop, but, sadly, life still hated you and had no plans of having mercy on you. Trying to ignore the drilling was a hopeless case, too.

"Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with my neighbour?! It's been 25 minutes! What's up with all the noise?!" You complain to yourself, pushing your face into the pillow out of frustration.

You let out a huff. "I'll go talk to them. I'm not sacrificing my sleep for them to put up some decorations or whatever the fuck they're really doing."

Smoothing down your hair to make it look presentable, you contemplate whether you really need to change your pyjamas to go knock on your next door neighbours and ask them to keep it down. Nah.

You rub your eyes, still feeling sleepy and exhausted, as you wait for your oh-so-lovely neighbour to answer the door.

"Hello?" Greets a male about your age. Well..let's just say he certainly is really really really lovely. And suddenly, you regret not changing into something nicer than your my little pony print pyjamas.

He gave you a sweet smile as if he wasn't just chasing the sleep away from you with his drilling.

"Uh, hi." You shuffle your weight from leg to the other awkwardly. "Would you mind..um..not drilling into the wall right now? I've had a long day, and I'm trying to sleep.." You waited for a rude reaction, but the expected response never came.

Instead, the purple-haired male pokes his head back inside the apartment. "Vincent! Hey, Vincent!" He yells.

You hear a faint yeah? come from inside before the neighbour you never knew was so handsome shouts again, "I told you you're gonna bother our neighbours, but did you listen?! Nooo, you decided to try it anyway! Just stop drilling!"

"What neighbours? There's only one other apartment on our floor; don't make it sound like I'm bothering the entire buildi-" the other voice kept getting louder, indicating the person was walking closer to the door. When he finally reached the door and pulled it open, Vincent that was yelling from inside paused mid-sentence.

"Ooh, I see why you're so concerned about the noise." The redhead shoots a wink towards what you assumed was his flatmate before walking back inside, leaving good-looking neighbour flustered.

"Uh-um, never mind him. He just likes joking around; it's nothing, re-" His embarrassed rambling was cut off by a yell from inside.

"Shut up; you know you were calling her cute earlier, Sigurd!" Sigurd's panicked eyes meet yours, and you could practically feel the temperature rising in the hallway, due to the heat emitting from both your faces.

Despite how embarrassed you are, you were still absolutely flattered, which caused you to let out a small giggle, further increasing Sigurd's blushing.

"He's only joking; don't take him seriously. He just likes to embarass me." Sigurd tries to indirectly deny his flatmate's comment. You would be disappointed if it weren't so amusing and adorable watching him sheepishly sputter out excuses and defences.

"Are you saying you don't think she's cute then?" A blond pokes his head outside. You could tell he wasn't wearing a shirt, but he didn't seem to mind being seen like that.

Sigurd falls into another spiral of panicked, embarrassed babbling. "No!" He quickly turns to look at you, "I don't mean you're not cute! You're certainly cute- I mean if I were asked, I'd say you're cute- Like I wasn't just thinking about you being cute; not that I wouldn't think you're cute- oh my god, I'm sorry; just forget about this! Klaus, just go put a shirt on and leave me alone!"

By now, you were full on laughing hysterically at the interaction between Sigurd and his other flatmate.

"It's only fair, compared to how much you tease me." The shirtless male shrugs, walking back inside.

Sigurd sighs. "I'm sorry about Klaus and Vincent; they're practically family, so we tease each other all the time." He scratches the back of his head.

"It's okay." You smile. It was as if you'd completely forgotten you came here, ready to fight whoever disturbed your sleep. "Must be really fun living together like that, though."

"Yeah, I suppose." He nods. "Things sometimes get insane, but we're used to it by now. Insanity runs in my family. it practically gallops." He chuckles.

You let out a laugh, "Yeah, I totally know what you mean."

Seeming to have forgotten about being sleepy just a while ago, you allow yourself to have a full conversation with Sigurd. It may have lasted for a full hour, and you wouldn't even know.

"My goodness, just ask her out already!" Vincent yells from inside.

"Shut up!" Sigurd yells back.

"You really have no idea how to get the ladies, huh?" Klaus joins the yelling fest.

"Says the guy that thinks insulting the girl is a good way to encourage and motivate her!" It seemed like Sigurd had gotten comfortable around you, so he was no longer affected by their teasing; he was ready to talk back now. It somehow made you feel warm inside.

"I'm just being honest!" Klaus defends.

"You're just being mean!" Vincent argues.

"I'm not mean!" Before long, Vincent and Klaus had gotten in an argument in the backgroud, allowing you and Sigurd to retrieve your one-on-one conversation.

"Well, um, do you wanna go grab some coffee later?" Sigurd smiles. "You know..to prove them wrong?" He fakes an innocent smile.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's why." You giggle. "But, sure, why not?"

After deciding the time and day, you said your goodbyes, and you went back to your apartment.

At least now when Amelia calls again you can distract her with news about your date, so she doesn't have to scold you for not working on the essay until now.