#anyway i like pride and prejudice a normal amount too

[blueyellow8green]

Jane Bennet: Charles how much do you like me?

Mr Bingley *physically vibrating with excitement*: I like you a normal amount

[stormyelliotwritez]

Hey could you write batfam x male reader who is Jason's secret brother? Like batfam as in Bruce, dick, Jason, Tim and Damian, and like after Jason's death and resurrection they finally figure out that Jason had an older brother? Jason hardly remebers him because 1. He died and his memories are a bit fuzzy and 2. He was very young when he last saw his brother. I feel like the male reader took care of Jason, but at some point to try and give Jason a better life he left for sile shady work that promised a good amount of money, that would help Jason stay afloat? And after the batfam find out they obviously try to find him, and Bruce obviously tries to adopt him (even if he's an adult) so he can be reunited with his brother

yes yes yesssss. I was just going to write headcanons but I ended up with too many ideas so have a mini fic! I don't have the best grasp on the whole resurrection part coz I haven't read under the red so that'll be a bit vague. I'm so sorry this took so long. I got crazy writers block but here it is. Tell me if you want more of them or like headcanons because I'm lowkey obsessed with Jason having an older brother.

—————————————————————————

"Hey Bruce, why isn't Jason the first Todd that comes up when you look up Todd death report?" Dick asked as he walked into the Batcave and sat down on the table behind Bruce.

Bruce turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow. He had no idea what his son was talking about as he'd never looked up the reports. He knew his son had died and he hadn't wanted to know anything more. He'd failed his son, and he didn't want to be reminded of it.

"He's the only Todd I'm aware of," Bruce turned his chair around and looked at his eldest son, "Jason doesn't have any relatives."

Dick turned his laptop around and right at the top of the report, it said Y/N Todd. The cause of death just said explosion and body not found.

"Does that sound suspicious to you as well, Bruce?" Dick asked as he leaned forwards slightly.

"Go ask Tim to look more into it," Bruce turned his chair back around, "and don't tell Jason. We've only just got him to stay so there's no need to spook him."

Dick nodded and then walked out of the Batcave.

                                                        ~~~~~~~~~

A few days had passed, and Dick hadn’t brought it up to Bruce again. He had gone and asked Tim though and sworn him to secrecy. He didn’t talk to Jason much, so it wasn’t that hard anyways.

Jason was sitting in the library when Dick came in and seemed to be second guessing himself.

“You don’t read,” Jason said bluntly without looking up from his copy of Pride and Prejudice.

“I totally read,” Dick stumbled through the sentence as he walked over and sat down on an armchair opposite from Jason, “What are you reading anyways?”

Jason looked up at him, confused. What the fuck is Dick on, was all he was thinking. Dick was being nice, and he was normally nice, but this was awkward. This was like the same level of awkward he’d been for the first few days that Jason had been living at Wayne Manor. He had been so confident but also such a nervous wreck.

“Pride and Prejudice. Did you get sprayed with some drug on patrol?” Jason asked as he looked his older brother up and down.

“Nope nopity nope. I just wanted to hang out with you,” Dick said as though that explained why he was more skittish than a newborn kitten.

Jason nodded and then went back to reading. “I don’t remember him that much,” he said offhandedly as Dick went to stand up.

“How did you-” Dick said as he swung around and almost tripped over his feet.

“Tim talks a lot when he’s tired and you’re holding a coffee that he so desperately wants,” Jason replied with a shrug.

Dick’s jaw dropped. “You’re not mad that I’m snooping in your business? When you were little, I touched one of your first edition books and you cried for days.”

Jason’s head turned to look at Dick in two seconds flat. “I what?”

Dick’s eyebrow raised as he stared blankly at his little brother. “You don’t remember?”

The two of them stood silently as they processed what had been said. Jason hadn’t thought he’d lost that much. Dick hadn’t realized that either. He hadn’t realized Jason had lost anything. They didn’t talk much. Talking hurts and they’re both fragile which is seeming to be a trend in this family. (Bruce pay for therapy challenge???)

They stayed in silence for a few minutes before the door opened again and Damian walked in.

“Tim snitched. Your brother worked for some gang guy in Star City until he somehow quit. He’s back in Gotham for the next two weeks staying with,” Damian looked down at his phone and raised an eyebrow, “Selina?”

“How does Tim still keep his identity secret? Wait, so like dads on-off girlfriend, Selina?” Dick asked as he looked at their youngest brother with his eyebrows raised.

“Do we know any other Selinas, big bird?” Jason asked as his head swivelled to look in Dicks direction again.

Dick shrugged and seemed to be thinking. “So, we could just call Selina and ask about your mysterious brother?” He said observantly.

Damian sighed in frustration. “Yes, lets just call up Selina and ask her if she’s hosting Jason’s supposed to be dead brother!”

“It’s a good idea,” Dick tried to protest as he looked to Jason for backup. Jason raised his hands as if to say nope don’t involve me.

“No, it’s not. It’s really surprising that you’re not father’s actual son. You’re both stupid,” Damian replied as he scrolled on his phone until he found what he was looking for. His face lit up and he showed the screen. “There’s a gala on tomorrow. Selinas bound to go just to flirt with father, and she’ll probably take Y/N.”

“Ok, that is a better idea than mine,” Dick muttered as he crossed his arms and sulked.

“All of demon brats ideas are better than yours, Dickybird,” Jason said as he sat back down and reopened his book.

                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night of the gala couldn’t come quick enough. Bruce was sitting at the kitchen table in his suit a good hour before they had to go and at that point, he wished he’d hadn’t broken his earbuds the day before. Jason and Tim were shouting at each other in the main first floor bathroom and Damian was about to tackle Dick for making him wear a blue tie. Cass and Steph were on a video chat with Barbs because she was currently at a tech conference so couldn’t make it.

Five minutes before they had to leave, Damian ran out of some room with Dick chasing him. Jason and Tim both tried to run out of the bathroom door at the same time, so Tim slammed into the wall. Steph and Cass walked calmy into the kitchen and laughed at the boys running rampant. Duke had offered to go on patrol solely because he didn’t want to go to the gala.

They all left the mansion and clambered into multiple cars.

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The gala was bustling, and Bruce made his entrance followed by his entourage of children. The questions started up, but all Jason could think about was whether his older brother was there. Dick was standing close to him and swatting away any stuffy aristocrats who wanted to say how much he looked like the Wayne son who had died as a child.

Tim dragged his feet across the gala to where Dick and Jason were standing. He flopped onto the chair next to Jason and slammed his head down onto the table.

“No coffee?” Dick asked as he leaned against the wall and death stared another aristocrat who wanted their weekly Wayne drama fix.

“When have any of these events ever had coffee and I’m too young to drink and also Y/N is at the bar,” Tim rambled as he sat up straight and rubbed sleep out of his eyes.

“You’re like 18, I was drinking from like 15,” Jason started before his brain caught up with the whole sentence, “The bar?”

Tim nodded and fell forwards again. Dick put his hand out at a speed that could rival Wally and caught his younger brothers head. He nodded at Jason who jumped out of his chair and started briskly walking towards the bar.

At the bar, there sat a guy who looked to be in his 30s with bright red hair. A champagne glass was seated in front of him, and he was staring off into space.

Jason walked over and sat down next to him. He didn’t say anything but instead asked the bartender for a gin and tonic and glanced next to him. Y/N looked just like the fuzzy memories he had of him.

“You new around here?” Jason asked as he waited for the bartender to finish his drink.

The guy who was most likely his older brother didn’t say anything in response. He just sighed and sipped his champagne.

“Haven’t seen you at one of these before. You, uh, came with Ms Kyle?”

The guy gave him a nod in response as he rolled up his sleeves slightly. Jason looked down and saw the burn scar from when they’d been making pasta when he was little. His jaw dropped slightly before he recovered quickly. This was absolutely his older brother so what was he supposed to do now?

“I’m Jason Wayne,” he said so as to not spook Y/N.

“Y/N Todd,” Y/N glanced at Jason, “You look like someone I used to know. Have we met before?”

Jason laughed nervously. “If you’ve come to a gala before, probably.”

“Yeah, probably,” Y/N stood up from the chair, “Well I think Selina wanted an early night so I should go. Nice meeting you.”

Jason sighed as his older brother walked away. He downed his gin and tonic before standing up and walking over to where Dick was still sitting with Tim. He sat down on a free chair and leaned his head on the table.

“So?” Dick asked cautiously as he moved his hand out from under Tim’s forehead.

“He’s my brother,” Jason said tiredly.

Dick gasped and leaned in closer. “So, what you going to do about that, little bird?”

“No idea,” Jason said as he sighed.

                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later, Jason was sitting in the library again when Tim ran inside. Jason looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“He’s been spotted. Cass saw him. Dick’s waiting for you at Wayne Industries,” Tim said out of breath.

Jason placed his book down and ran out of the library. He sprinted down to the Batcave and got changed into his suit. He ran to his bike and pulled out of the cave. He drove down the highways and roads and felt the wind pushing against him. It felt just like how when he was younger, and it was just him and his older brother against the world. He flew down streets and side alleys. He pulled up in front of Wayne Industries and saw Dick sitting on a brick wall nearby. Their comms crackled to life.

“Cass has him and Selina on the roof of Wayne Industries, come on,” Dick said before he ran at the building and started scaling it.

Jason followed suite. The two of them made it to the top in record time and looked around. Cass waved from where she was standing and chatting to Selina. Jason’s older brother was leaning against the staircase door with a frown on his face as he glanced around.

Jason watched him for a moment. He had red hair just like how he did when he didn’t dye it. He was wearing a leather jacket like he did. He had a mask on which resembled the Robin one but not fully. It looked more like a masquerade mask. He was wearing boots, a pair that looked like ones Jason remembered sitting by their childhood apartments door. His older brother looked just like he remembered but also nothing like the teenager he’d idolized.

There was a scar above his eye. There was a necklace around his neck with a black rock. His hair was short and clipped, unlike when they were younger,

 and it sat above his shoulders. He looked so grumpy. Jason had never seen his older brother look that annoyed. He’d always been patient and kind.

“Selina, can we go? I didn’t come all this way just to stand around and chat with your boytoys kids,” Y/N said loudly, interrupting Jason’s thoughts.

Selina turned from Cass and scoffed. “Yeah, you came so far, all the way from Star City and your sad little retail job,” she said sarcastically before turning back to Cass.

Y/N rolled his eyes and finally noticed Jason and Dick. “He has more? How many of you vigilantes are there? Does he grow you in like a lab?”

“One of us was actually,” Dick said as he took a step forward, so he stood in front of Jason, once a protective big brother, always a protective big brother.

“Long story? Yeah, I’m getting used to that,” Y/N shook his head before he glanced at Jason, “What you staring at me like that for?”

Jason tilted his head slightly before taking off his helmet which caused Dick to groan.

“Secret identities, little bird,” Dick said annoyed as he slapped his forehead.

“Oh, shut up,” Jason stepped around Dick, “It’s me, Jason.”

Y/N took a step back and slammed against the wall. “You’re dead.”

Cass turned from where she was talking to Selina and rolled her eyes before resuming their conversation.

“Surprise?” Jason said with jazz hands. “I think we’ve got a lot to talk about.”

Y/N nodded and took off his mask. “Yeah, I think we do.”

                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks later…

Y/N, Bruce and Jason were sitting around the manor’s dining table. Bruce was leaned forwards and staring Y/N down. Jason was leaned back and smiling. He hadn’t stopped since he got Y/N back. Y/N looked like he was about to run out of the room.

“Jason, tell your creepy dad he can’t adopt me. I’m a grown ass man who isn’t going anywhere anyways,” He said as he scooted his chair slightly further away from Bruce.

“Hey, he’s still trying to figure out if he can adopt me and I’m legally dead,” Jason said as he raised his hands in mock surrender.

“So am I!” His brother replied exasperatedly.

“I already adopted you, Jason,” Bruce leaned back in his chair, “Found a technicality.”

Jason turned quickly to face his dad. “Ok, you cannot just drop that in conversation, old man.”

Bruce stood up from his chair. “I’m not even 50 yet. You’ve gotta stop calling me that.”

Jason smiled and shook his head. “I’ll call you what I want, Bruce.”

Bruce smiled to himself and walked out of the room. The older Todd leaned closer to Jason and smiled.

“Your family is weird, Jase,” he said with a chuckle.

“Our family actually, big brother,” Jason said with a wide grin as he stood up from his chair. “Wanna go for a ride?”

His big brother jumped out of his chair and smiled. “I bet my bike goes faster than yours.”

The two of them ran towards the manors front door with the widest grins.

Up on the staircase, Bruce stood as he watched them with a smile. Alfred walked up behind him with a smile and tapped him on the shoulder.

“You must stop adopting all these children, Master Bruce,” he said quietly.

“He makes Jason happy, doesn’t he?” Bruce asked.

Alfred pondered for a moment before replying.

“Yes, he does, Master Bruce. That doesn’t mean Master Jason doesn’t still need his father though,” Alfred said, his voice full of care and love for the two of them.

Bruce nodded as he heard the motorbikes start outside. He then smiled and walked off to attend to his work.

                                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[sigh-artist]

Half Bird KO just has wings too small to fly... but he can float quite nicely. Yessss... Avian Seekers and Glider KO is such a nice concept.

Even better if he's not afraid of heights... but doesn't want to hang out with the pure seekers who always flock to them. Cause I imagine they make fun of him. Why wouldn't they? Plus? That would add a reason for his "I'm better than you" behavior. He's told he's the worst, so he acts like he's the best. Combine that with Peabird's and their pride and... welp. Good luck with him lol.

What BD btw?

Okay first I wanna say thank you so much for the ask! I don’t mean to be weird or awkward but I get really excited and really genuinely happy when people show interest in my ideas, so thank you!

And Yesssss! I was thinking the same, this is why he has the “I’m better than you attitude” and the pride thing is probably definitely why I chose a peacocks design for him.

As for bd, i think he’s just a “normal” grounder here, but he supports his husband regardless of him not being a pure seeker, he thinks his drop dead gorgeous anyway and loves him. Bd/breakdown is a strong supporter. But that being said, you know how breakdown is known for his huge chest? Well…. Similar to some mammals and how they have multiple…teats? As some people call them? Tits/nipples, well that’s how my breakdown is like, a lot of nips, i think eight, three smaller ones underneath his normal chest/booba. Now it’s weird but since they are aliens , why not have fun and give them weird biology?

But in my lost wings au ,all my humanoid formers have little “mutations” or quirks if you will, so they aren’t quite human, example is starscream and seekers being bird man/woman or heavily similar to harpies.

My Airachnid, similar to how a spider have multiple limbs, has four-six arms, i think six might be overkill but the extra arms are to make her resemble a spider, she has a normal amount of legs, in my original art she had two prosthetic arms underneath her normal ones I think? But designs might change.

TW: for fictional racism-ish stuff/concept/i don’t support or condone real life stuff of course (it’s gross and makes no sense)

but i do imagine seeker’s might have a bit of racism? Prejudice against grounders, of halfbreed seekers or disabled seekers at that, not all seekers are ,i like to think , but seekers have beauty standards and all and if you can’t fly then they don’t think you are as good as them, some think disabled seekers are a disgrace. It’s really sad, honestly, and i think this version of ko might be a victim of this. They see grounders as being “dirty” or “too rough” or “brutal”.

And…whilst I love starscream, he do have old man/boomer vibes and i think…he might be a “tad” (putting it very lightly) prejudiced against grounders too, old bird man racism.

Oops 👉👈 i accidentally rambled again.

Oh before I forget! I’m not the first person to have the idea of seeker ko! I believe I saw another post with a similar concept (of normal robot ko) so credit to them! I was inspired.

Also, notice how seekers can have different body types/be different models of jet? Starscream being more sleek and tiny and dreadwing being more bulky and big? I headcanon there’s different types/species or subspecies of seekers too, rare/hybrid halfbreed or extinct. Or some are just rumors/near extinction rare like vampiric types.

[chuckaf]

Chuck Fic Rec List: Updated

So my fic rec post was in my notifs again the other day, and I noticed a while back that the formatting on the post has gotten all messed up and it’s also had like three reblog additions to it anyway meaning there are three versions out there lol. so, I wanted to do another list of chuck fic recs! I’ll keep the other one up still, so I’m not gonna repeat every fic here, just some I really recommend. I’m also adding the fic summaries, which I didn’t on the old post, and some more of my own opinions so, buckle up for a long post!

Chuck Versus the Steampunk Chronicles | Steampunk.Chuckster

1896. A world powered by steam, where humans and machines coexist, and airships are the fashionable mode of transport. The US Empire's deepest and darkest secrets arrive at Chuck Bartowski's doorstep. Have they fallen into the wrong hands? Or will the inventor prove his mettle, even while he's forced to hide from the very people he's protecting? AU, ongoing chronicle, Charah.

A genuinely incredible AU story, with an entire crafted world and universe, so detailed it frequently blows my mind. There is heart and family and infuriatingly brilliant slow-burn, plus a buttload of danger and super fun historical/steampunk action. Oh how I LOVE it.

Chuck vs the Charade | somedeepmystery

When computer nerd Chuck Bartowski returns home to an empty apartment and a dead girlfriend he finds himself embroiled in a deadly game of espionage and deceit. Everyone around him is playing a part to get what they want and when he starts falling for the new woman in his life, he can't help but wonder if he can trust her or if she's the one he should fear the most.

An action and twist-filled AU based on the movie Charade, which is just such a brilliant fic concept I absolutely adored it from the start.

Two Sides of the Same Coin | dettiot

When you're a spy, there's all kinds of occupational hazards when you work with another spy. For Sarah Walker, though, one mission becomes a life-changing experience. Because working with Charles Carmichael leads to protecting Chuck Bartowski.

The first time I read this fic my mind was just blown to its genius. Such a brilliant interpretation of what the Intersect and its concepts set up in the show could be, and ooooof the Chuck/Sarah interactions, my HEART. Related to it, its companion piece:

A Flip of the Coin | dettiot

What made Charles Carmichael agree to become Chuck Bartowski? Well, to start, it wasn't as much of a change as you'd think. A companion to the early chapters of Two Sides of the Same Coin from Carmichael's perspective.

Chuck vs The Butterfly Effect | n7agentbartowski

Chuck Bartowski is a normal guy who just hit rock bottom. No girlfriend, no career and no super computer stuck inside his head. It isn't until Chuck meets a gorgeous stranger on the beach that he begins to think his life is about to change for the better. An AU Chuck fic without the Intersect. "Change one thing and it changes everything."

I said it on the OG post, but this story has one of my top 5 Chuck/Sarah fic meetings. So funny, so... very Chuck. The story is a little angsty overall, but a great read.

Chuck vs the Rogue Spy | Crumby

When a rogue spy from Chuck Bartowski's past shows up to help him during his first solo mission, Chuck hopes that he'll finally find out what happened to Sarah Walker. Post-S2 AU.

There’s a lot of Season 3 fix-it fics out there, which I don’t usually read bc I actually love season 3 lol, but this one’s a good one! A twisty deviation from canon, but still feels really true to character.

Chuck Versus the Nerds Rewrite | Steampunk.Chuckster and David Carner

What happens when two nerds talk endless hours about their favorite TV show? A new take on the show you know, but with the flair, twists, and turns you've come to expect from Steampunk . Chuckster and david . carner. Somewhat canon. Charah.

As the summary says, a different take on the show, which honestly makes a couple changes I would too, but also adds a bunch of fun twists and plots that make it totally new and fresh. Seeing Chuck and Sarah’s thoughts in the more canon sections is just delicious, too.

The Trapped Assassin | SarahsSupplyCloset

After a mission goes awry, the CIA's most lethal assassin is ordered to take vacation while her superiors figure out what to do with her. But when she meets a disarming tourist, their immediate connection only adds to her disillusionment with the agency and her career. Will he be enough for her to finally take the plunge and leave the only life she's ever known? Charah AU

A warning for the very justified M rating if you don’t like that sort of thing, but this is definitely a plot-heavy fic, too. A really neat Sarah-heavy AU, with a whole lotta Chuck/Sarah fancy French vacationy goodness.

Chuck vs the Second Chance | malamoo

AU from mid-season 2 and onwards. Chuck and Sarah part ways only to be reunited years later. COMPLETE.

Literal, crying-at-my-screen angst. Not even a super happy ending. But a brilliantly written, part-reflective/flashback fic, exploring what would’ve happened if Chuck and Sarah’s relationship really was an assignment all along-- and the aftermath. It’s heartbreaking. But if you want a little heartbreak, this is your fic.

Ready at Your Hand | dettiot

In the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, a Catholic plot against the queen comes to the attention of spymaster Sir Francis Walsingham. To protect Elizabeth, he develops an unusual plan: hide the passing of intelligence between two agents by a false romance. When Lady Sarah Walker and Chuck Carmichael meet, though, their pretend flirtation becomes much more.

I love Chuck fic for the very reason that it’s inspired such adventurous and totally unique AUs. Here’s some Elizabethan fake-dating Chuck and Sarah! They have to be so Proper, it’s like that hand moment from Pride and Prejudice but Elizabethan and times a billion. The pining!!

Sarah Versus Getting Married | Steampunk.Chuckster

Sarah Walker is getting married. Canon. Charah.

I’d recommend all of SC’s fics if I had the room, and I’m already recommending a ton sksks but most of my fic recs are AUs, and this one isn’t! It’s canon, and covers some of in the gap in 4x24, with Sarah just before the wedding itself. Super sweet, heart-tugging, brilliant.

A Chuckmas Carol | Mikki13

A new twist to Dickens' beloved "A Christmas Carol". When Sarah begins to shut out the world around her, three spirits come to show her the error of her ways. Season 3 AU.

Another Season 3 AU, this one written pre-series so it definitely doesn’t fit to canon, but it’s still wonderfully rich in character depth and angst and it also made me cry. Plus, festive!

Chuck Versus Thin Ice | Steampunk.Chuckster

On the doorstep of the Olympics, top American curler Sarah Walker has lost her mixed doubles partner and her boyfriend in one fell swoop. Her coaches throw newbie Team U.S.A. curler Chuck Bartowski onto her team and thrust them into the Olympics, hanging America's curling hopes on two people who only have a short amount of time to learn to trust one another. Charah AU.

Do you like curling? Or the Winter Olympics? It doesn’t really matter because somehow this fic made me extremely invested in both of those things, as well as Chuck and Sarah and them being INSUFFERABLE. Catch me now knowing a ton about curling thanks to this fic.

Walker’s Eleven | Moonlight Pilot

Not the same plot as the movie. Sarah Walker never got out of the con game or became a spy, and now she's on her final con. What happens when true love and betrayal get added to the mix? Twists, turns, and Jeffster!

Con!Sarah always interests me, and this fic is full of her. Lotta con plot, lotta Chuck and Sarah.

The Detective and the Tech Guy | thecharleses

Sarah Walker is a Pinkerton detective. Chuck Bartowski is an electronics genius. They wouldn't have met except for a case of mistaken identity and murder. Will the detective and the tech guy solve the mystery, distracted by the riddle in their own hearts? An homage to The Thin Man film series. Formerly co-written by Steampunk . Chuckster and dettiot, now ONLY Steampunk . Chuckster.

Everyone in this fic is so damn cool. There are so many martinis. But also great heart and family and like, standing up for who you love, and later also Chuck with Baby Clara content which frankly the show robbed us of. Also, PI!Sarah!!!

Gravity | Poetic4U

AU. Sarah makes a decision that altered her life forever.

This is just a one-shot, which many of these stories are not, so a good one if you don’t fancy a big read! Just because it’s short, though, doesn’t mean it’s lacking; a really awesome what-if AU, and heavy on the Chuck and Sarah.

A Yuletie Tale | Steampunk.Chuckster

Sarah Walker was dumped the day before Christmas Eve, and her Plus One at her work’s annual Christmas Eve Soiree is now officially a Plus Zero. Her best friend Ellie Bartowski has a solution to her problem, and Sarah finds she isn’t quite as sure about it as Ellie is. AU Christmas Charah.

I’m particularly in love with this fic because, instead of beginning with a meet-cute, it involves Chuck and Sarah already two years into a friendship-- Sarah is Ellie’s best friend. And she’s been crushing harrrd on Ellie’s brother. Also Chuck is in a tux. It’s pretty.

Set, Spike, Dive! | Frea O’Scanlin

Chuck never expected to even make it to the Olympics. Everything is working against him: he's too tall for a diver, too inexperienced for a medal, too much of a wildcard to really make his mark. But an unexpected meeting at the airport, some intriguing new friends, and a whirlwind romance on the sand just might set up London 2012 as the time of Chuck Bartowski's life.

A London 2012 AU, because why not. This is just a fun Olympic-y ride!

OTP (One True Pairing) Prompts | David Carner

A series of Prompts I found online about different times and places in Chuck and Sarah's life. Mostly AU, mostly one-shots. I assume mostly fluff, but I might get deep. I doubt it, it's me. Charah...ALWAYS (It says complete, but if an idea strikes me...)

If you’re not so into long stories, this fic is perfect. Individual set-ups and stories, all Chuck and Sarah, and all super cute. You could dip in and out and just pick a scenario you enjoy.

Chuck vs The Frontier | ninjaVanish

AU: Chuck was enjoying a simple life as a 19th century watchmaker until an encounter with a beautiful Secret Service agent thrust him into a world of intrigue and adventure he never wanted. But then, with Agent Walker around, it can't be all bad, can it?

This fic gets props for being historically-set but still including the Intersect. Again, a historical AU, so the pining!! the need to be Proper!!! But besides all that, there’s a lot of action fun as well.

Chuck Versus The Crosswalk: Remastered | WvonB

Will a last minute mission help our two favorite characters finally get together? This is the remastered version of my first story.

The original version of this fic is on my first list; this is the updated version! It’s not a complete AU, instead a story that diverges from canon, so if you’re more into canon characters and setting than a new AU scenario, this is a great fic for that.

Little Girls, Paper Wreaths, and Choc Chip Cookies | DanaPAH

Very AU: Sarah Walker is a single mother whose Christmas spirit needs a boost after a tough divorce. She isn't quite ready to go looking for romance, but her little daughter's affection for their new neighbor may lure it right to her doorstep, anyway.

An incredibly sweet AU one-shot where Chuck and Sarah are new neighbours, and Sarah has a super cute little girl. So much sweetness and love and hope. I love this fic so much it literally led me to write my own neighbour-kid-AU, so, not to toot my own horn but I’ll link it here anyway.

May Your Walls Know Joy | halfachance

Looking for a fresh start after some tough times, Sarah and her three-year-old daughter move to LA. When they meet a sweet curly-haired nerd who lives next door, though, Sarah realizes they might just find more happiness than they'd ever imagined, if only her past doesn't catch up to her first. AU.

It’s what the summary says; if you wanna read, feel free!

Chuck vs the Sound of Music | quistie64

AU. Chuck, nerd extraordinaire, is a man with seven children and Sarah must protect them all from Fulcrum's evil designs. Warning: there will be singing.

I mean. Not much mystery as to the concept with that title and summary lol, but this is a super fun, soft ride with a lotta sweetness, and yes, singing.

Just Two People | David Carner

Meet Sarah Walker PhD, Psychologist, specializing in personality traits. Meet Chuck Bartowski, man who has left THE electronic company of 2020. When Burton Consultants tries to figure out what is wrong with the morale of Orion Industries, what happens when a guy named Chuck meets a woman named Sarah. I'll give you a hint, it's me writing.

David’s done something pretty special with this fic. It’s Chuck and Sarah centric, but very much an ensemble piece, too, with a lot of Team Bartowski and other familiar faces throughout.

Chuck Versus the Con Game | Steampunk.Chuckster

AU. Chuck and Sarah are partners in the con game. It's an existence wrought with danger and violence. Every day could be their last. Every mission could be the end of the line.

This is where I freak out SC and declare this fic the reason I ever got hooked on Chuck fic and then wrote Chuck fic, and the reason I still love it today but. that is true lol. Just so. so good. It’s also written with the chapters out of chronological order, which is super fun from a reading perspective. But con!Sarah AND con!Chuck?? Best. The kind of fic you will be thinking about for days (if not, y’know, years).

As you can tell by the repeats, I highly recommend just about anything by Steampunk.Chuckster, dettiot, or David Carner, but there are a TON of amazing Chuck fics and authors out there. I’ve never known a writing community so wildly creative-- there are so many unique AUs and canon explorations and story concepts that this show has manifested, and it’s all so much fun.

Most of the Chuck fic community is still over on FFN rather than AO3, so if any of these whet your appetite, feel free to have a browse there for more stories. I’m sure you’ll find something great. Personally, all the incredible writing there has also led me to write a buttload; I’m at halfachance on FFN, so if you see any of my stuff or wanna chat fic, feel free to message me there or here.

Happy reading, folks!

[ellienchanted]

Hii blorbo meme for cql!

Thanks for the ask, Madhu!! Going straight for the media I'm the most normal about, I see 😌

You know, I thought this would be easy??? But I had to put some thought into this! Okay here we go

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) - okay so this one changes about bimonthly, but it's a pretty steady rotation of Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen. These are all slightly different flavors of blorbo: Wei Wuxian has done nothing wrong in his life, ever; Jiang Cheng is a human disaster of epic scale who has done everything wrong, ever, and I love him through it all; Lan Wangji is a perfect man and I can't look at him for too long or else I start to get weird feelings about gender; and Lan Xichen is just... fave. beautiful good man whose life (within the narrative scope of CQL/MDZS) is a slow-burn of a tragedy, a cautionary tale against trust, and yet I have to believe he'll come out the other side okay eventually, or else what hope do the rest of us have, you know?

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) - hmm. Lan Sizhui Best Boy. And Jin Ling gets a special mention for taking me from strong distaste in ep 2 to pinching his cheeks by ep 50

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) - see, some of these are tough because there's a corner of the Untamed fandom writing sonnets and character analyses for every tiny character to make an appearance onscreen. So who counts as underrated?

I'm gonna go with Song Lan. I see him and I lose my absolute shit. I feel like out of the Yi City tragic trio, he gets the least fandom love, which is a travesty!! He's so tall, and handsome as hell, he's so bad but... wait this is just a taylor swift lyric. Anyway. Song Lan tragic figure of my heart. I loved you and your gay husband from the moment you stepped onscreen 🖤

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) - uhhh Qin Su? Mianmian? Ouyang Zizhen? Wen Zhuliu?

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) - since just about every significant Untamed character is a war criminal, I feel like this fandom's standards for poor little meow meow are slightly skewed. By any other standard, Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Jin Guangyao are peak meow meow, but within the fandom they're just some dudes, you know? Since it's hard to find an actually controversial character, I'm gonna go with my good lady wife Wen Qing, because first of all she too, not to be outdone, is a war criminal; and also because by dint of being a woman in a male-centric story and fandom, she's by nature less popular than most characters. Wen Qing bby give me a call, I'm free thursday, friday, whenever you want 😘

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) - this feels very mean to say since the narrative torments him so much already, but I think Jin Zixuan?? Listen, the amount of character growth he manages to fit in is frankly impressive considering his limited on-screen time, but he spends much of that time being a baby garbage man and being just so mean to my perfect angel Jiang Yanli!! I think one of my hottest Untamed takes of all time is that Jin Zixuan/Jiang Yanli is basically Pride and Prejudice if Mr. Darcy ended up with Jane, and lord knows I would have a hell of a good time tormenting Mr. Darcy, so. Yeah

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) -

Jin Guangshan and Xue Yang can fuck off and die 😌

[ace-trainer-risu]

oh here! i’ll come ask you for book recs lol. do you have any spooky and/or autumn-y book recs? or just your fave books :)

First of all, I'm sorry this took me SO long to answer. I want to say I've been busy but it's just been general [waves hand vaguely] life.

ANYWAY thank you for asking! I actually don't read scary stuff a lot b/c I'm a wimp, but I have a few spooky/autumnal books up my sleeves! Let's see what we've got!!

1) The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters

Let me just start by saying that Sarah Waters is one of my absolute favorite authors ever! All her novels are suspenseful, twisty historical novels with great female and queer characters. Although, fair warning, actually The Little Stranger is like her one novel that isn't queer, but it is VERY good. If you read The Little Stranger and like it, please read Fingersmith and/or The Paying Guests.

The Little Stranger is set in the countryside of post-WWII England and follows a mild-mannered doctor as he becomes increasingly involved in the lives of the family living in the local, increasingly decrepit, possibly haunted mansion. Think Downton Abbey but creepy. Strange things keep happening inside the house, from dog bites to mysterious sounds to creepy black spots. Literally just typing that gave me goosebumps. It seems like someone may be out to get the family, but who...or what? Is it simply the ghosts of their own painful memories, or is something more? Sarah Waters is excellent at lush, intricate historical detail, and she leans into that here to create an atmosphere of slowly building dread and horror and mystery.

That being said, as a person who isn't normally a fan of horror, I don't think this book is too scary. It's more of an atmospheric, psychological horror than a jump-scare, bloody horror. It's not a book that will give you nightmares (probably), but you might lie awake thinking about it.

Also. Pro-tip. As a haunted(?) house story, the house is obviously fairly central to the story. Dear fellow Americans, keep in mind that the British refer to the floors of a building differently than us. For Americans, the ground-level floor is called the first floor, the floor above that the second floor, etc. For the British, the ground-level floor is the ground floor, and the floor above that is the first floor, etc. There's all sorts of creepy references to characters hearing noises above them on the first floor, but I was just like, Why are they always in the basement?

2) Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno Garcia

This and the above are two very different books, and yet they are both set in the mid-1900s and both are about weird, creepy, maybe-haunted houses. What can I say, I like gothic fiction.

After our heroine, Noemi, receives a bizarre, borderline incoherent letter from her beloved cousin, she sets out to visit her in the literally decaying mansion she resides in with her husband and his new family deep in the countryside of Mexico. All Noemi wants to do is persuade her cousin to come back home with her, but her cousin's new in-laws are very determined not to let that happen...or to let Noemi leave either. Secrets abound in the bizarre house and even creepier nearby cemetery, and soon Noemi finds that she too is suffering from bizarre dreams and visions...although, are they just dreams?

This book is so weird, but in such a good way? I read it for a book club and every week we had increasingly bizarre theories about what was going on, we were googling alchemy and fungi and St George, and some of our theories were even right. Although definitely not all. Another very twisty one that keeps you guessing.

In terms of scariness, interestingly I think there's more overtly creepy and horrifying moments in this novel than The Little Stranger, but I found TLS more overall scary? But that may be because I read it quickly, which I think is the ideal setting for suspenseful stuff, and I read Mexican Gothic over a longer amount of time since it was for a book club. This one does have some more typical horror elements to it, but I don't think it's more creepy than terrifying.

3) The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey

I listened to this one as an audiobook and the audiobook is excellent so would recommend that, but have no doubt it would also be great to physically read.

Oh my god this book...it's more thriller than horror, but I think it fits the brief. There were multiple moments listening to this book that I literally gasped or said "OH MY GOD!" out loud, and there are moments which are very creepy and horrifying. There's a particular scene in the backyard... Again, incredibly suspenseful and twisty. And the character development and character psychology is just! really really good! There's also really interesting and knotty feminist stuff which is a lot more complicated and nasty than some of the "girlboss" stuff which is popular right now.

Super minimal summary: All you really need to know is that it is a sci fi novel about a scientific researcher trying to pick up her life after her marriage has imploded, only for everything to go BATSHIT WRONG. Trust me, that's all you need to know, it's better to go into this not knowing what's going to happen or what to expect. I had no clue what this novel was about when I started it, and holy shit. Very good book, absolutely recommend this if you want some super suspenseful, creepy sci fi that will make you say "oh my GOD" repeatedly.

Okay, shifting gears a little now b/c autumn isn't just spooky, it's also cozy and restful and daydreamy!

4) The Thinking Woman's Guide to Real Magic by Emily Croy Barker

This isn't maybe a cozy book per se, but it's a great book to cuddle down with on a dreary day and lose yourself in. If you've ever asked yourself, "What would it be like if you crossed Pride and Prejudice with Howl's Moving Castle except the wizard was way worse but somehow still sexy" - then you should read this book! I actually came across this book b/c I was like, I wanna read a book that's a portal fantasy but for adults, and this book was like OH here's everything you wanted.

It's about a grad student, Nora, who has totally stalled out on her dissertation and is at a shitty wedding when she accidentally wanders through a portal into a beautiful, fantastical fairy world. At first, everything is amazing and literally perfect...but surprise surprise, not all as is it seems, and soon everything goes to, how should I put it, shit. Nora escapes, but rather than returning home, she finds herself trapped in a far more dreary realm. But not one without it's own charms and it's own magic, and Nora finds herself the student-slash-sorta-captive of the crochety, sexy, maybe-killed-his-wife magician Aruendiel* and she begins to learn magic herself.

Unlike the above books, this is not a fast-paced, twisty book, and I think if you go into this expecting high fantasy along the lines of Game of Thrones, you may be disappointed. It's not really a typical high-fantasy novel, it's more of a cross of an 18th/19th century realist novel, a fairy tale, and a fantasy novel. But if you want that, then it's REALLY good! I loved this book! And the magic in it is so cool, something about the way its described feels so visceral and real and like you could really do it if you just tried hard enough. There is a romance and it's totally, intentionally hashtag problematic, but it's very laid back, very slow burn, so I think even if you aren't a person who digs romance you can still enjoy this. If you're looking for a feminist-leaning fantasy novel that you can just sink into and lose yourself in, this is the perfect book. You will long to magically fix broken plates.

5) The Ruthless Lady's Guide to Wizardry by C.M. Waggoner

Honestly I can't even justify why I think this one is an autumn book. It simply is. It's autumn colored in my head. It is the coziest book I have ever read about necromancy and crime. Also I just want to recommend it. This is another one that I listened to as an audiobook and it's also a good audiobook, for those who are interested. But it also means I will not be able to spell absolutely any of the character's names.

This novel follows Delly, an enterprising young scoundrel of a fire witch with a teeny tiny gin habit as she attempts to support herself and her hot-mess of a mom in the roughest neighborhoods of Fantasy-City-That-I-Can't-Remember-The-Name-Of. Lice...gate? When Delly comes across an advertisement for a bodyguarding job for young women for a hefty fee, it seems like the answer to definitely not all but at least some of her problems. She accepts, along with an interesting assortment of other sorcerous young ladies, including a wonderfully bitchy Absentia (my love), a young woman who can turn into a boar, boar girl's necromancer mother, and the very sexy part-troll Winn, who in my imagination looks like Gwendoline Christie and talks like Miranda Hart. Which. Perfect woman. Winn being a fine, wealthy young lady, Delly can't help but think to herself that it wouldn't be such a bad thing if Winn happened to fall in love with her and carried her off to be rich and spoiled the rest of her life.

Of course, things quickly don't go to plan, and soon Delly and her companions find herself caught up in wicked schemes of murder, drugs, and an undead mouse named Buttons who says BONG. I love Buttons SO MUCH.

This book is just a silly romp of a novel which worms into your heart and your brain. It's fun and cute and gay, and also it made me cry. I haven't stopped thinking, "Not quite regulation hammerball" since I listened to it like half a year ago.

Also, while I'm here, this novel is set in the same world as and features a few of the same characters as Unnatural Magic. Which is also a hell of a book. Literally the best bisexual relationship I have ever fuckin read. It's a winter book tho, so I simply can't go into it here.

Aaaaand...that it's! Happy autumnal reading :)

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 22

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap

A/N: there is a HUGE musical theatre reference in this chapter and i’m rly happy it is here 😉 hope you enjoy this chapter xx thank you so much for the love you’ve been giving this series so far, i love you all so so much !! 

NEXT CHAPTER

In any other circumstances, Y/N would’ve been crying but considering Daniel was downstairs awaiting her. She was happy, she convinced herself, she was happy to spend Christmas with Dan, Gwen and everyone else. She was happy, this was just her post first time brain playing tricks on her. Why would she expect the mob boss to suddenly drop his plans to come and spent Christmas with her at his wife’s childhood home? Maybe it was a good idea he didn’t want to go with her. How hypocrite to walk into Gwen’s house with the same husband to be she just slept with. God, Y/N, get your head in the game.

With the bag that hadn’t been unpacked the day prior she abandoned her bedroom, head slightly turning towards Sebastian’s room. Unconsciously, she hoped he would be at the door but it was closed. There was no way he was spending Christmas with the Forrests and Y/N did not know why she was hoping he did. Well, she knew why. She was an hopeless girl filled to the brim with naivety. Shaking those thoughts and the events of last night into a black corner of her mind, she went down the stairs where Dan was standing, awaiting her on his phone. 

     - Hey Dan. - she forced a smile out of her clouded, over ran mind. The eldest Forrest sibling smiled at her, coming in for a hug. However, Y/N was not much into the mindset to be hugged or to be her regular self so she let herself be embraced with a dazed off look. - We should be going before it starts snowing again. 

     - Of course, birdie. 

She gave the upstairs another look as she followed Daniel onto the lift. She was happy, right? She was happy to go spend Christmas with those who she considered the only sort of family she had ever known. She was happy. She couldn’t be happier. Right? Couldn’t be happier, right there with Dan in the car, sort of like her own happy ending, right? Spending Christmas like she always did. Though it is she admits the tiniest bit unlike she anticipated but she couldn’t be happy. No, she’s happy, she’s happy to be here driving away from the Upper East into her childhood home. 

However, there’s a kind of a sorta of cost, a sort of thing that got lost when she left that bedroom. There are bridges you cross you didn’t know you crossed until you crossed and Y/N, Y/N had just crossed that bridge. With an overwhelming sadness in her eyes, a far cry from the bright sparks whenever she got to see the decorations from the car windows, she leaned against the glass, finger raising up to doodle sweet nothings onto the fogged surface.

It didn’t take as long as she was expecting to arrive to her childhood home. Maybe this was due to her need to be inside her mind wondering if she had done something mid falling asleep and waking up that would’ve hurt Sebastian. Did she hurt him in any other way or was he just playing safe? He was an analytical man, after all he needed to be in order to thrive in the environment he’d been born in. Maybe Y/N was expecting regular expectations from a man who wasn’t regular. 

    - You’re very quiet. - Dan was the first one out of the car, thanking the driver before taking her bag off the back. - Did something happen with Sebastian? I was worried about leaving you alone with him.

    - Don’t you think it’s odd he doesn’t want to spend Christmas with us ... I mean with Gwen? She is his ... wife-to-be. 

    - Dad doesn’t really want him here. Don’t you remember Gwen’s 18th? He was here. 

    - I’m sure I would remember if he had been around. - however, in all honesty, Y/N had spent Gwen’s 18th, which had also been her 18th, much more interested in reading Pride and Prejudice for the 100th time. - Why doesn’t Mr. Forrest want him here?

    - You’re making a lot of questions you don’t need the answer to, birdie. 

    - Why do you always leave me in the dark? I’m 24, I’m not exactly a child anymore. - she crossed her arms, annoyed at the lack of responses to her questions. Maybe it was the newly found annoyance at everything that gave her the chops to stand up and ask for some answers.

    - You are not in the mob, Y/N. You don’t get to ask questions and you certainly don’t get to have the answers. - he harshly opened the door, allowing her to come inside and see the same sights she saw every single year. How come she didn’t feel as excited as she should? The decorations seemed prettier and shinier in her mind and the once environment she was sad not to return to, she was now sad to be in. It just felt empty. 

   - Where is the staff? - she looked around, noticing the substantially lack of people running around despite for a few bodyguards.

    - Gwen gave them Christmas off. - Dan shrugged. - I guess she’s preparing herself to be a housewife. 

   - I seriously doubt that. - she muttered under her breathe before grabbing her bag and climbing up to her bedroom. It was mostly unchanged, like a picture frame of what her life had been like before she had met him. Well, turns out she might have met him prior but Gwen’s and her 18th birthday had been a mostly chaotic experience so maybe her brain had compartalised that far far away from her. 

Sitting down in her bed she let out a huff. God what did she want? First she wanted to spend Christmas like she always did and when she got it she felt miserable. Is that how people behave after losing their virginity or was Y/N missing him already? It surely had hurt her for him not even to consider coming with her but if Mr. Forrest wasn’t found of him then maybe it made sense. Anyway, it felt like a cold answer and Y/N was starting to tire herself of being constantly left in the dark. If she was good enough to be close to Mr. Forrest’s daughter then she was good enough to get answers. 

Much too upset with that whole line of thought, Y/N grabbed her phone from her back pocket, unlocking it to reach for her contact list. She didn’t have many which gave her an easy path towards who she wanted to reach. Sebastian. After convincing herself that he wasn’t mad at her and that all of this was a great misunderstanding, she dialled his number. Leaning her ear against the phone she heard the long and high beeps, expecting to hear his voice anytime soon. However, it never came through.  

    - I thought I’d head Daniel arrive. - Y/N raised her head from her bed to see Mr. Forrest by the door. - I’m sure you’re hungry, Y/N. Why don’t you join us for lunch and great the guests.

    - I’m not entirely sure I’m up for food, Mr. Forrest.

    - Nonsense. Besides, I’m sure Gwen misses you. - he fully opened the door, gesturing out. Gwen, yeah, how was Y/N gonna look in her eye ever again? As she went down the stairs with the head of the family, she wondered how she was ever gonna speak to Gwen ever again until she spotted her at the table being very cozy with one of the associates sons. Great, just what she wanted, a table full of the same associates that clearly disliked her by the cabaret experience. However, it wasn’t Gwen flirting with the young men at the table or the amount of associates present at Christmas Eve, it was a very familiar man sat next to the only empty seat. - Y/N, I’m sure you’ve met Mr. Williams before. He’s spending the holidays with us. 

    - Yes, we’ve had the pleasure. - he smiled as she sat next to him. - We are very glad you can spend Christmas with us, Miss Y/N.

    - Imagine having to spend the holidays with Sebastian in that tiny overrated penthouse. - Gwen said before stuffing her mouth with a forkful of meat loaf.

    - He is really not that bad, Gwen. - Y/N spoke up in her normal soft and melodic voice. Normally her opinions tended to go unnoticed but at those words, every single person seemed to redirect his attention towards her. 

    - Never mind Y/N. She’s a very forgiving person. - Mr. Forrest diffused the situation with the sort of swiftness that only people holding power could do so. Soon enough, everyone was too distracted in their own affairs and conversations to really care about Y/N. She didn’t care much about being invisible, in all honesty, her expectation in life was to be invisible and so far she was good at it. Invisible people don’t deal with conflicts ... well at least not physical conflicts as she has mental conflicts galore. 

The meal took a rather long time to finish with people laughing and stopping to comment on various issues and she had to admit not having the staff to speak to was a bit boring. Yet again, Y/N was already quite uncomfortable being next to Mr. Williams and the weird aura he always let through, so she had spent most of her lunch checking her phone for any new messages, any new calls but there were none to be seen. He was probably busy, he was a busy important man. 

    - ... no, there’s no need. Y/N can take the dishes into the kitchen. - her name being spoken by Gwen made her raise her gaze from her phone onto the table and Gwen. - Right?

   - Gwen ... - Daniel warned, voice low but still laced with threat. In normal situations, she would’ve recognised it, but the heiress was much too intoxicated with champagne. 

   - What? It’s not like she’s part of the family, she’s staff. - she added and in that moment Y/N felt a bit less guilty she had slept with her husband to be.

   - Genevieve, that’s rude. - Mr. Forrest added.

   - What? It’s true, she’s a handmaid.

   - Gwen ... - Daniel returned with that same threatening voice but Y/N found it rather hypocritical coming from the same man who just a second ago had shot all her questions down in a rather rude manner. 

    - It’s alright. - Y/N stood up and started collecting all the plates, stacking them together on top of her arms.

Gwen was right, at the end of the day this wasn’t her family. They had raised her but they weren’t her family at the end of the day. She was just a handmaid. She wasn’t part of the mob, she was a handmaid. A handmaid. She never thought about the word itself for too long, always considering herself a friend but at the end of the day she was a subordinate to everyone and that was what she would always be. 

Words can hurt and these words had cut through her. Not even Sebastian seemed to want to actually pick up her calls. Maybe Gwen was right, she was a handmaid and that was what she was always gonna be. 

She put the dishes on the sink, taking them one by one to dispose of the food scraps and start scrubbing them. She looked down at her soapy hands and then at the metal kettle on her side, noticing her reflection in it. The tendrils flying in front of her head and the soap suds made her look exactly like the staff Gwen made her out to be. She was too lost in how she looked in her reflection that the slippery plate slipped off her hand, shattering onto the floor into a thousand bits. 

Y/N kneeled down, starting to pick up the shards so lost in her own negative thinking she didn’t realise tears had started to run down her cheeks until they hit the palm of her hand and she broke down sobbing in the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by the shards of porcelain which once were a plate. 

Just a handmaid. Out of the sudden, it seemed to her that she had finally realised what she was. A subservient. At that point, Y/N wondered if that what she was to Sebastian too, a submissive creature which he could do with as she pleased.

   - It’s just a plate, there’s really no need for there to be any tears about it. - she immediately straightened her posture, returning to her standing position.

   - Mr. Williams. 

   - It’s really unfair, isn’t it? - he circled her, leaning against a opposite marbled surface in the kitchen. - People like us getting treated like dirt by the top ones. 

   - I’d really rather not speak about it. - she smiled softly, hoping he would leave. - It’s really no issue, I enjoy doing the dishes anyway. 

   - It hurts, doesn’t it, Miss Y/N? To know that she’s the one who is going to walk down the isle and you’re gonna be in the sideline. 

   - I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir. I really need to return to the dishes.

   - You and Mr. Stan aren’t fooling anyone. Maybe Genevieve, but you’re definitely not fooling me, birdie. You’re not the mistress type.

tag list: @lilya-petrichor​ @xoxohannahlee​ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater​ @nikkipea​ @madisonpillstrom​ @cevans98​ @thelostallycat​ @sideeffectsofyou​ @anxiousdreamersworld​ @captainchrisstan​ @lookiamtrying​​ @sarge-barnes-sir​​​​​ @stuffforreferences​​ @thebadassbitchqueen @sebastianstansqueen​​

[begrudginglytumbling]

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four,  Part Five, Part Six

Part Three!

...or I suppose technically it’s part two of Part Two since this one will finish up what the other one started.

Shall we return to Grow Up?

(This’ll be long even though I managed to be a little ruthless and cut some of the images.)

We’ll start with the staffroom and finish with the dorm rooms.

I am only assuming it’s a staffroom. For all I know it could be some kind of common room. But they spend a damned lot of time there. They eat. They hangout. They study. And it’s not just the students, so I’m calling it a staffroom.

Anyway! This breakfast bar thing props up a fair amount of leaning, from general side leans.

To the favoured elbow hook lean.

What I find funny about this particular surface is that Bai Yu’s legs are so long that he actually can’t sit ‘properly’ at it. If he sits straight, then he has to lean forward, since his knees are knocking into it. And when he does sit close (his feet aren’t on the floor, since he’s on a stool, so he can sit properly), he has to spread his legs in some form of obscene manspreading fashion that made me cackle and that I apparently managed to not get a screenshot of (and annoyingly I can’t remember which episode it was in).

Right then, on to the table.

Literally.

On to the table.

Because, clearly, Bai Yu can’t resist sitting on a tabletop.

I made a post about it a while ago, but I’m still not over it so, just as a quick break from the sitting - that outfit is certainly a choice of the wardrobe department.

I mean just look at it, with it’s mustard trousers paired with that top, and a lime green tie. It’s like someone threw the 70s at him or something and went with whatever stuck. I feel like it shouldn’t work. But why does it? Is it a Bai Yu thing?

I mean I know he can pull off some slightly questionable fashion choices - that denim on denim look he has as Zhao Yunlan is something I’d normally say isn’t a good idea, but he looks damn good in it. There is also the jacket with the buttons on the back that I’m still questioning to this day. And the time they apparently rolled him in glitter. And, ok, I happily admit that I don’t tend to understand fashion, and I understand even less of Chinese fashion, but, just, how did this choice come about? Pretty much everyone else in this show seems to wear ‘normal’ sedate clothes. Then there’s this guy. With his bright colours, his polka dots on polka dots, and his cravats. Honestly, mixing his outfit choices with his sitting preferences and relationships, I’m becoming convinced that this is just another example of Bai Yu giving his character Disaster Bi energy. The dude ain’t straight, and the dude ain’t gay. I’d say this dude is a Certified Disaster Bi.

Ok, back to the table and Bai Yu’s leaning back in an almost draw-me-like-one-of-your-French-girls manner.

And, like, there is a chair right there.

But nope.

The unpadded table is apparently more appealing for this man’s relatively flat arse than the padded chair that is right there.

I mean, yeah, he makes an appealing picture that’s visually different from everything else going on, but that does not negate the fact he ignored the empty chair that’s right next to him in favour of draping himself over the table.

And look, he can sit at the table as opposed to on it. There’s quite a few instances where he’s sitting at the table in a chair like a proper person. Granted, in pretty much every instance he’s sitting with his legs crossed, because god forbid he have both feet touching the floor.

But of course this table also sees moments where he’s doing something different to the others. Like here. Everyone is standing, he’s sitting.

I think he’s sulking a bit in this one, but still. Different position, different aura, still not supporting his own meagre weight.

And here with his gay little scout-esque neckerchief/scarf thing, leaning back, not sitting properly.

He does this lean back on the sofa too.

The shot is only a couple of seconds long, then he’s standing up, just like in Part Two, where he’s the only one sitting when the Teacher Doctor guy opens the door, and I touched on this a little in the previous part. But I’m really starting to think it might be a deliberate thing that’s quite clever in drawing the eye.

I should probably preface this with saying I know basically nothing about the processes that go into acting and film making. I am however technically a historian by degree and, therefore, fully capable of pulling theories out of my arse which I will then scrabble around to find sources to back them up.

So! The theory is that movement naturally draws the human eye, and if everyone is the same then a scene can fall flat. Sameness is boring, your eyes can flit over it and not take in any details.

Bai Yu?

Bai Yu is a fidget (seriously go watch his livestream videos, he fidgets, fiddles, and wriggles), this movement can be used to his advantage in drawing the eye. That scene up there? He’s not just leaning back, he’s also shifting about. He’s not in focus, but you can be damned sure that movement made my eyes focus on him before I even knew it was him.

And for combating the sameness? Look at the examples above - he’s lounging on the table, different posture to everyone else - he’s sitting while everyone else is standing -  in the previous part he’s standing while everyone else is sitting. I thought at first my eyes were drawn because it’s Bai Yu and, well, he’s a favourite of mine so why wouldn’t my eyes be drawn. But then I realised they would’ve been, regardless, because he’s different. He breaks up the sameness, he stops it being flat. It reminded me of a scene in Pride and Prejudice, where the Bennett girls turn one way, but Mrs. Bennett turns the other. I remember watching or reading a commentary about it, the move being praised. I don’t remember exactly what was said, just that it was praised for being different and adding something to the scene, and it made me wonder if Bai Yu makes similar decisions?

Ok, onto the seating area proper.

He was actually sitting on an armchair properly before this, with both feet on the floor and everything...he looked so uncomfortable. Then he moved to sit on the arm of the sofa, because of course he did.

Y’know, pillows get hugged a lot in this programme, mainly by Bai Yu, but by others too sometimes.

And why sit normally when there’s a perfectly good coffee table in front of you to rest your foot on and make some viewers wince because why is your ankle bending that way? How is that even comfortable?

Just look at it. Barely resting on the table with his other foot adding weight to it.

You make my joints ache, sir.

Ok so technically I probably could’ve cut this one, since he’s just sitting on the sofa, nothing fancy, legs crossed, arm slung over the back as he pulls faces while she’s playing a game - she’s training to be a doctor but has a fear of blood so to get her use to it his character gets her to play fighting games(?) and someone else puts red dye on her hands - but this ends up leading to...

...this.

And just...what? How...?

That can’t be comfortable, surely.

I don’t even...are your joints even real, sir?

If your own joints are twinging in sympathy pain, this is your chance to go give your arms a shake and your body a wiggle before we head to the last section of the dorm rooms. Make sure everything is where it should be to remind yourself that you’re not the broken marionette doll Bai Yu can apparently become.

Right. All shook out? Good.

First stop the girls’ dorms, last stop the boys’.

There’s not much in the main girls’ room, really, just his usual sitting with his legs crossed because obviously the floor is lava and can’t be trusted with both feet.

I’m not sure how much he can be blamed for this one, as he’s technically been thrown into the chair by the little doctor trainee whose character reminds me a bit of Wen Qing.

As a side note, when you’re watching something that you don’t understand the language of, scenes like this can really throw you, because you’re just sitting there minding your own business, when suddenly they’re alone in the room together and Bai Yu’s character is taking off his tie, before striping off his shirt and tossing it on the sofa, and then you’re sitting there like wait, what? When did...? I thought...? What? But then he just gets tossed into the chair and some kind of conversation happens that makes you relax because, yeah, from your vague understanding of the characters, that makes more sense.

Even though he was tossed down, he didn’t actually need to keep his feet on the chair, but of course that didn’t stop him.

He is actually capable of looking comfortable sitting in this particular chair, he even gets to hug a pillow while doing it.

Now then, the boys’ dorm.

He came in, he saw them, he plopped down on the coffee table.

He could’ve sat on the sofa, he could’ve pulled up a chair, but nope. Coffee table.

Obviously, as previously mentioned, the floor is lava, so at the first opportunity he lifted both feet on the table and happily sat on it like an indulgent cat or something.

The sofa.

This sofa is not big enough for a full Bai Yu stretch out, but he can happily curl up on either end.

You could turn him into Bai Yu themed bookends.

Now, from watching Guardian we are all aware that this man is fully capable of embodying the spirit of a cat.

I, however, raise you the spirit of a Great Dane.

I see no difference between these two images.

Also not even this character’s mother can get him to sit properly. She prods him up and shuffles him over, and the first thing he does is pull up a knee.

Y’know how people starfish in bed? Well Bai Yu can apparently starfish in an armchair. He just plops down and flings his limbs out.

I almost didn’t catch this one, it’s part of some studying montage thing, and I thought he was sitting properly since he’s leaning forward, and I can clearly see his slippers.

Then I had a ‘wait, hold up’ moment, went back, and looked properly.

There are no feet in those slippers.

There are no legs attached to them.

So even when you think he’s sitting properly. He isn’t because he is kneeling. And I almost missed this ridiculousness!

Yes, Bai Yu, sit on a bed post that is clearly not meant to be sat on.

This is a moment where he could’ve leant against the wall, but evidently saw even the smallest flat surface as an invitation to sit.

Is that post migrating to places a bed post shouldn’t be migrating to?

Should’ve thought of that before you went and sat on it.

Not only does illness and subsequent surgery give him an excuse to lay on a gurney, it also gives him an excuse to lay in bed!

Apparently being tucked in by other men is also something not entirely unique to Bai Yu’s Zhao Yunlan. That bloke, the roommate that he went on a not-date-but-looked-like-a-date-with-wine-and-everything, seems like an absolute sweetheart and I’m still pissed at what they did in the last episode. It was uncalled for, script writers, uncalled for!

Although, I suppose, in regards to this project, it is kinda ironic that by the end, of the three men in their 'friendship group' of seven, Bai Yu’s character is the last one standing.

If I was a ‘they were roommates. Oh god they were roommates’ kinda writer these beds would be a bloody godsend. Just look at the watching and pining potential if top bunk guy was mooning over bottom bunk guy, while top bunk was doing work at his desk, and bottom bunk was sleeping.

The potential, people, the potential.

So that’s it. Grow Up is all done, and I can confidently put this in the column of Bai Yu quirks that become character quirks.

If you want to watch it, it’s available on Youtube, but there aren’t any subtitles. It’s on Dramacool too, but, again, no subtitles and the quality is horrid compared to Youtube.

Considering I couldn’t care less about the main storyline, it’s not actually a bad little drama.

Part One, Part Two , Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

[fromtheashesofvalyria]

They were both too young to know how to love.

Of course leave it to Harry Potter to be what drags me back into writing fan fiction. Apologies to people who follow me already since this is pretty different from posts I’ve done in the past, so feel free to ignore. 

I just wanted to try and get some thoughts out about a fanfiction I’m currently writing, specifically the relationship between Harry and Daphne. Or the lack of one right now anyway. ;)

The basic background is that this is a soulmate AU with soulmate marks and empathy/semi-telepathy (I’m not sure what to call it honestly). The three main ships are Dramione, Ransy, and Pottgrass, and it’s a slowburn enemies to lovers starting from Goblet of Fire on. Emphasis on slowburn and enemies considering two of the involved are Draco and Pansy.

Before I started writing again, the only ones of those three I shippped/read fanfiction of were Draco/Hermione and Pansy/Ron. I originally picked Daphne because I’d read fics that had her as a character and liked her in them; after that I read two fanfics that made me really ship them, because the amount of ships I have due to fanart/fanfic is huge. (Previously I was, and actually still am, a Nottgrass shipper because I am a multi-shipper a lot of the time.)

I’m going to put the rest of my rambling under the cut.

So there are a couple different things going on here. The most superficial was that, when I had started writing, I’d been re-watching the Lizzie Bennet Diaries so I was a bit influenced by Pride and Prejudice when writing Daphne at first. Specifically the inspiration was Matthew Macfaden’s Darcy from the 2005 movie and Daniel Vincent Gordh’s William Darcy from LBD. (And as an aside Astoria was slightly based on Georgianna from the 2005 movie and Gigi Darcy from LBD.)

The inspiration became less strong the more I wrote, but her being standoffish/cold/rude to non-Slytherins (except Astoria) and the scene where Daphne tries to make a deal with Harry was inspired by Darcy's first, horrible proposal to Elizabeth. But that’s the shallower reason, let’s get into the meat of it, which is background vs appearance. 

Harry Potter was orphaned at the age of one years old, was raised in an abusive family who didn’t even give him a room for ten years, had no friends until he got to Hogwarts, and was lied to by the Dursleys’ about what his parents were actually like. There were no pictures of his parents, he wasn’t told they were a witch and wizard, and he didn’t even know they were murdered. When he is told about his parents, he is given the romanticized view of James and Lily and their relationship. He thinks they were the perfect picture of soulmates, as he hasn’t been told that James was once a jerk that Lily really disliked. His first real experience of familial love was with the Weasleys and thinks of them as the best family in the world. Daphne knows nothing of this aside from the fact that he was raised by muggles; I don’t think she thought much about Harry at all outside of times parts of his adventures were found out by the school. Like the flying car incident. As she said in the fanfic, Harry just sort of existed to Daphne. 

Harry is only fourteen years old at the start of the fic, and has only had a crush on Cho at this point, but he does know that he wants to have the real love and respect his parents had. He wants to have a family of his own that would actually be loving. He doesn’t want his potential future children to grow up without love. And, most importantly, he doesn’t think Daphne is capable of that. 

What Harry knows about Daphne’s background is that she’s part of an old, wealthy pureblood family a la the Malfoys or the Parkinsons. (He wouldn’t know the term Sacred Twenty-Eight.) That’s pretty much it and would be about the amount of knowledge all the students from the other houses would know (except for Astoria, the Ravenclaw little sister, who is just as uncomfortable as Daphne when asked to talk about their parents). Harry is also generally dismissive of Slytherin house as a whole thanks to Draco and his gang; he thought they looked like a “pale and unpleasant lot'' at the Welcome Feast in first year. 

Here’s how Daphne comes across to the kids outside of Slytherin: standoffish; doesn’t seem to talk much outside of class participation, and is often sarcastic when she does; doesn’t seem to have friends outside of Slytherin and the only non-Slytherin she is consistently genuinely affection towards is her little sister, and not everyone sees that; while not a member of Pansy’s gang is still known to be a good friend of Pansy’s, and is also close to Blaise who is seen as equally snobby. 

(Speaking of Blaise, Daphne still wants to know why she’s the only one to get an insulting nickname like Ice Queen when Blaise and Theo are often just as anti-social towards the other houses as she is. In Theo’s case, more so. XD) 

Of course, it’s easy to sympathize with Daphne when you know what her background is really like. Her parents, despite being soulmates, have an absolutely toxic relationship that their daughters had to witness: “Daphne Greengrass hadn’t been a fan of the soulmate concept for years now. She could even pinpoint the exact moment her disillusionment started: the night before her sixth birthday when her father finally told her mother that, soulmates or not, he had never loved her and had only married her out of both obligation to the bond and to the alliance with her family. This had then turned into a screaming match in her father’s study accompanied by the sound of glass being thrown at a wall.” This is just one incident. 

Daphne was so used to her parents arguing (and to be really clear, I’m not talking about normal arguments couples have; I’m talking about full-blown trying to verbally/emotionally hurt the other as possible or just arguing to try and win against the other person) that she was already making it her job to comfort Astoria, who “was still a baby, and upset by it”. Daphne has grown up with a very dim view of romance and romantic love. 

Now, Daphne does know that people can be genuinely in love. For all their many, many faults, Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy are devoted to each other. Pansy’s parents aren’t on the same level, but are loving/affectionate enough with each other. However, she doesn’t think love and happiness are guaranteed so it’s better to have something more solid like respect or trust. However, that is hard to get across to Harry because she’s grown up to think being emotional is bad/a weakness and it’s hard for her to open up to people she doesn’t know well. (Pansy was her first friend at five years old and is still her best friend up until this point; it’s also the reason her other friends are the Slytherins she’s known for years at this point. People she’s used to.)

She could have approached Harry differently, flirted, or suggested dating, or tried to be romantic but she would have thought of that as dishonest/manipulative. Because Daphne knows love isn’t guaranteed for soulmates. Because Daphne knows she’s not the most likeable person. Because Daphne isn’t sure she could love Harry and doesn’t want to lie about it. Yes, Slytherins are all about cunning and clever ways to get what they want, but this is one of the areas Daphne would not even consider something like that. For all her issues, Daphne does have some standards. 

Self-control and (just control in general) is something Daphne clings to because her parents were often unpredictable and she had to create a sense of being in control of her life. Her father is not a warm or empathetic person and he looks down on people being too emotional. (Yes, this is supposed to be hypocritical considering he’d get into screaming matches with his wife.) He would be out of the house a lot for both work and to get away from his wife. Her mother was emotionally and mentally in a bad place for a long time and withdrew from her children a bit. She improved by the time Daphne was at school, but her favorite is clearly Astoria for reasons that will be expanded on later. Daphne tells herself she gets it because Astoria is her favorite family member too. (Also I just want to make this clear, Daphne and Astoria are close siblings who genuinely love and care about each other. Daphne is also Astoria’s favorite family member. Their relationship, as I like to see/write it could be another post though so moving on.) 

This need for self-control also was because of the stutter she had growing up. She was already self-conscious about it and she was very aware that her parents (her father in particular) saw it as a problem, which stressed her out more and made her stutter worse. The more emotional she’d get, the more likely she’d stutter. Whereas the more comfortable she was, the less often it happened. Pansy already mentioned in one of her POV’s that she barely heard Daphne stutter around her after a while; not a huge spoiler or surprise, but it was the same with Astoria. One of Daphne’s pre-Hogwarts tutors was essentially a wizard speech therapist, so she had it under control by first year but it was still recent enough at the time that she was pretty afraid of slipping up at school. Also consider the fact that some students (not just Slytherins either, but from all houses) made fun of Quirrell's stutter, and he was a teacher. (Yes he was evil, and only pretending to have one, but they didn’t know that then.) How much worse would the teasing be for a first year student? So as her father told her, sometimes it’s better not to talk at all. 

Harry doesn’t know any of this. 

Before things really started in the fanfic, Harry’s one interaction with Daphne that really stood out to him was that time she was sarcastic to him in first year after his first Quidditch game: “You know my family made the snitches used at Hogwarts. Please try not to choke on another of them next time.” When fourth year started, she ignored him completely in the Great Hall, and didn’t help her friend in a way he didn’t recognize/understand. 

The next day, Daphne sends him a note ordering him to meet her during lunch, after not acknowledging him in public. (As Harry says, she didn’t even write please. It also didn’t ask him for a date and time to talk, just told him to meet her in a specific location.) When he asked if she was proposing to date him, she “made a truly exasperated sounding noise” which definitely hurt his pride a little. She also tried to approach a relationship (not necessarily even a romantic relationship, just in general) with him, someone she has barely spoken to,  like a business deal, which he thinks is a cold way to look at it and he loses his temper. However, it should be noted that she asked him why when he rejected her out of hand and well, don’t ask a question you wouldn’t want an answer to. 

Later on he sees her picking on a second year for seemingly no reason. In reality, this is a girl who did something to her sister and Daphne doesn’t let things like that slide when it comes to people she cares about. 

Now afterwards things get murkier because Daphne is wanting to freeze him out/ignore him, but he is the one to poke at her. The soulmate bond is like an outside force that pushes down on two people to try and force them together, which can be downright unbearable if you really don’t like the other person. Harry finds the pressure it puts on them very hard and is stunned when she acts like she’s not affected at all. (He’d feel better if he knew she was feeling it just as much as him. Sort of like how Hermione and Ron both take comfort in the fact that Draco and Pansy are having as bad a time with the bond as they are.) He’s already under stress from the situation with his scar hurting and Sirius leaving his hideout to come back to England because of it, now add on to that the stress of an outside magical force trying to bond him to a girl he doesn't like and who doesn’t like him. No, he’s not handling it in a great way, but he’s young. 

And Daphne could always try and talk to him about things good (sending him a song through the bond to help him sleep when worry for Sirius was keeping him up) and bad (the incident with the second year), but she doesn’t try. Partly it’s out of pride, but largely it’s because she’s developed unhealthy coping skills that she doesn’t realize are unhealthy.

[magnoliawhetstone]

Introducing The Whetstones || 10.31.2020

“Why you wanna marry me anyhow?

                                                                                              So I can kiss you anytime I want.”

                                                           Wedding Song || Vows

“People always used to laugh at me when I said I believed in soulmates--as if they were silly myth that didn’t exist. They’d appease me for a moment and then do their best to remind me how the real world works. But I couldn’t understand why they didn’t believe in them--wasn’t it obvious? Now I realize that the reason it was so obvious to me was because I had found my soulmate at seven years old with the little boy living next door to me who would invite me over to play and ride horses and bake with his momma--who made a place for me in his life when others wouldn’t. Soulmates are rare, yes--but they aren’t a myth. And I think our love story proves that. I Happy wedding day, baby. Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my soulmate.”

Jack feels like it’s a dream when he rolls over and finds a head of blonde hair next to him. Of course, he quickly realizes it’s not when he inhales a mouthful of hair and tries not to gag on it. “Hey,” his voice is soft as it comes out, his hand dragging up the soft skin of Lia’s arm until he can twist his fingers into hers, “Mags- hey, you should wake up. Don’t you and Moira have a costume shopping thing happening in like… an hour?” Jack’s eyes flicker to the clock that sits on the bedside table closest to Magnolia’s head and it’s already 10:30- this is the first time he’s slept in in years and there’s nothing he wants more than to stay curled up around Magnolia forever. Jack cuddles in closer and slides his leg between hers, his cold toes pressing against her ankle, “It’s not like you to sleep in like this. Come on, Mags- don’t make me tickle you.” His hand brushes over her side, “I’ll do it. I will.” 

“Mmmmhh,” She mumbles incoherently as she feels Jack’s fingers intertwine with hers. “Shopping can wait till later. I am not moving.” She presses herself closer to him to emphasize the point.  In truth, Jack was right--Magnolia didn’t sleep in hardly ever but that was before she’d fallen asleep in Jack’s bed with him beside her. Now the idea of never leaving was a thousand times more compelling and she was planning to do just that. She jumped softly as the shock of cold on her ankles but still made no move to get up. Sleeping next to Jack was by far the most comfortable position she’d ever been in and waking up next to him was something she could do forever, if given the option. She yawns lazily, shifting slight to adjust to fall back asleep when she hears his threat. “You wouldn’t,” Lia’s eyes open just a slight bit more, sending him a glare. “Don’t you dare tickle me mister, I can’t be held responsible for what happens if you do!” 

“Oh, wouldn’t I?” his fingers dance over her side and he gives it a squeeze in hopes that she’ll jump. Jack leans forward and over her, a smile pulling wide across his face as he does, “You know she’ll kill you if you’re late. Or she’ll kill me. Regardless of who she kills, one of us will be suffering, so you really should get up.” Jack lays down on top of Magnolia while laughing - it may not be his entire body weight but they break out in giggles, “Do you have any ideas on what you’re thinking of getting for a costume? I have no desire in the slightest to go get a costume so I was thinking like… James Bond or something. Slick back hair- suit, you know… the usual.” It’s not that Jack hated Halloween- he really didn’t, in fact- he loved getting to dress up, but this year had been weird and he was just ready for the month to be over. 

“Jack!” She gasps slightly, laughter escaping from her as she looks at him more clearly. She watches as a few stray curls fall in front of his eyes and her heart jumps in the same way her body did when he squeezed her side. She thought herself a pretty focused person, all things considered--until you threw Jack Whetstone in the mix. Just a look at him and her whole train of thought just fly out the window. Lia’s lips slipped into a sly smirk, her free hand maneuvering up to brush the curls from his eyes before she leaned forward to kiss him gently. “First of all, I’m a princess to her--so that grants me royal immunity,” She teased, another giggle bubbling from within her. She didn’t believe Moira when she called her a princess, but she was also pretty convinced the woman would let her being a teensy-bit late slide, all things considered. “And secondly, I can probably use that immunity on you too--but if you are really that tired of me hogging your bed…” A quick peck on the nose and she thought on his question. “Well I don’t know--I haven’t dressed up for Halloween in years. Usually I’m working.” Most holidays she’s working, but that wasn’t the question. “The usual? So, you think you’re usually 007, huh? I mean, I suppose you’re handsome enough for it,” She laughed again, her arms snaking to wrap loosely around his neck. “Well the obvious choice is some sort of princess or--like a mouse? But I don’t know, I kind of think it’d be fun to do something not obvious for once, y’know? Throw everyone off their groove?”

“You’re a princess to everyone, Mags. It’ll always amaze me how you don’t see how people lay down and roll over like lovesick puppies for you,” He pressed his lips to her shoulder and kissed across it- they’d hardly done anything more than kissing and cuddling, but this was enough for Jack for once. This felt right. “I’m pretty damn sure I’m James Bond at all times,” he rolled his eyes at the expected jar comment that he knew would follow- at this rate, he was pretty sure he could afford to buy an engagement ring with the amount of money he owed Magnolia. “What if we did like… a couple’s costume? I know that’s cliche and I know we arent a couple…” his words hung in the air for a moment. What even were they anyways? Basically a couple, right? Just one that never spoke about how they felt, “I’d offer to be someone from Pride and Prejudice but honestly… I don’t think I can pull off the look.” Jack let his hands hang off of Magnolia’s arms, his thumb brushing against her soft skin, “Well… if you’re looking for something not obvious, I think playing it safe is not the way to go.” 

“Lovesick puppies?” A soft giggle escaped her lips as she felt him kiss her shoulders. “Oh please, they don’t do that. I just ask nicely and usually they are nice enough to help out--or my bag of baked goods helps. I’m like Mary Poppins but with cookies!” Nothing about this scenario felt wrong or weird to her--like it was just normal to wake up in the bed of your crush without anything having happened the night before and the idea that it felt just right made her smile wide. “Jack--” She looked around the room they were in and let out a sigh. “Dang it, the jar doesn’t count in the bedroom.” Lia sent him a wink and she laughed a little, swiftly moving on to his next suggestion--a couples costume. Or, rather, a not-officially-a-couple couples costume. That name didn’t roll off the tongue half as well--but nevermind that. “First of all, you could pull off anything you wanted to--but even so, Pride and Prejudice might still be too obvious. Oh--wait, you said James Bond, don’t those movies always have a,” She furrowed her brows as she tried to think of the name, it resting on the top of her tongue. “A Bond Girl!” A Bond Girl--you forgot the name of Bond Girl. “What about that? I mean, to be fair I’ve never seen a James Bond movie--am I totally off base?”

If Jack had been drinking water, he would’ve choked, “Doesn’t count in the…” he let out a nervous laugh, “There you go surprising me again, as usual.” He buried his head into Lia’s neck as she rattled out ideas of a bond girl while he tried to think through his own. Austin Powers came to mind- and while that’d be fun, he didn’t think it’d quite hit the mark like he wanted it to. The thing was… Jack was tired of them playing this game- he was tired of them dancing around the idea of a relationship or of dating. They’d been metaphorically dating for most of their lives at this point, and maybe that’s why he’d been so reluctant to truly put effort into sealing the deal because he knew it took so much to start when really… he was ready to have the white picket fence ending with Magnolia tomorrow, if he could. Jack pulled Magnolia closer to him, “Maybe not James Bond… what about… I mean, like… assassins are kinda cool, aren’t they? Or spies? We don’t necessarily need to be characters, right?” It was in that moment that he had an epiphany-, “Wait! Have you ever seen Mr. and Mrs. Smith?” Jack pulled back, a wild grin on his face, “That would be so badass.” 

“I have all sorts of tricks up my sleeve,” She grinned and kissed the top of his head as he buried his face in her shoulder. “Haven’t figured me out yet y’know.” Lia teased, her fingers absentmindedly playing with his hair as she listened to his follow up--though her mind was caught up in the idea of a couples costume--whatever they were, it was still enough to dress up in a costume that matched. But they had always done that, in some way--perhaps that was the first sign that there was clearly something more between them. Well, not the first sign--their inability to stay separate from each other was clearly number one. There would have been no shuffling in the tilt-a-whirl line if that wasn’t the case. But it wasn’t like she wanted to stay away either--as cheesy as it sounded, her world never felt more upright and normal than when she was with Jack and it made her heart skip when she thought about it. “Assassins? Oh wait--that’s the movie with Brad and Angelina, right?” Part of her was shocked that she had even seen the movie, but it had been years ago and didn’t remember much of it, except the fact they were married and….were trying to kill eachother. But they could leave that part out. Her face lit up. “No, that’s perfect. Like it’s a fantastic mix of James Bond and Bond Girl but with a twist.” She paused for a moment. “Wait--can we do that scene where they’re dancing in their fancy clothes but she also has a weapon on her thigh?” Lia had always thought that was the coolest part. “I love this idea.”

Jack couldn’t hold back a laugh, “Oh, so you’re telling me sweet little miss Magnolia Barnes wants to walk around with a gun strapped to her thigh and a cut in her dress up to her waist?” He bit his lip to bite back a bigger smile and squeezed her side, “I mean- it’s an easy costume, right?” Mr. and Mrs. Smith. He could do that- it was classy enough for a ball, but fun enough for a couple’s costume. Jack thought about the little paper ring in his bedside dresser- he’d been playing around with origami for a while and he’d made it on a whim- hoping to give it to Magnolia as a fun, whimsical gift when she needed a pick-me-up. It took a moment- a moment of Lia fumbling around with her words and Jack staring at her lips moving for him to comprehend the thoughts racing through his head. Lia. Ring. Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Couple. Costume. Ring. Lia. Ring. Mr. & Mrs. Jack sucked in a breath of air- the thought… the idea was crazy. It was… Jack knew it was possibly maybe even the dumbest thing he’d ever do or even suggest- but they’d waited so long. It was gonna happen someday, anyways, wasn’t it? “Hey… Magnolia?” Jack waited until he’d caught her eye, “You remember when our parents sat us down and told us that one day we’d be required to marry?” He remembered that day- it’d been the best day of his life- getting to marry the girl he’d been in love with for years sounded like heaven. “I know I acted like I was upset- like I didn’t want it,” Jack sucked in a deep breath. Was this going to be the conversation they’d been avoiding for months? Now? In his bed, a mess of tangled curls and twisted bedsheets? “But since then, I haven’t really thought about anything but getting to marry you. I haven’t seriously dated anyone since then- not without that thought of getting to be at the end of an aisle you get to walk down to me.” He pulled himself away from Magnolia and dug around in his bedside drawer and when he rolled back over, he held the little paper ring up between the two of them, “I guess I’m just trying to…” he paused, sucked in a deep breath, and asked, “Why don’t we just go as Mr. & Mrs. Whetstone instead? Would you marry me and give me the honor of making you my forever partner? Even more so than you already are.” 

“Maybe I’m not so sweet after all. It’s not fair if only Nic gets to have all the fun” She nudged him lightly, jumping with a laugh at his squeeze. “I mean, that’s proof enough that its definitely not something people would think I’d wear.” Lia nodded a few times--Mr. and Mrs. Smith, that was perfect. After all, she already had dresses like that...well, not exactly like that, but she could find one easily. Plus, getting to see Jack in a suit was not her idea of a bad night, that’s for sure. It was a masquerade ball too! So they’d fit right in--wow, there really couldn’t have been a better costume idea. Her mind wandered around the idea again, trying to figure out just where she was going to get a thigh holster in Chicago--and also how to put one on. Maybe she’d get Moira to help her...Blinking a few times, she heard Jack use her name and her eyes locked with his. Something was different in the way he looked at her and she chewed her lip lightly, suddenly slightly nervous. Slowly nodding as she sat up, she listened, suddenly she was immediately back in that chair, all the way in South Carolina, looking at her momma as if she was crazy--when in reality she believed this might have been the only good thing she’d ever done. Marrying Jack was the one part of her future she had never wanted to change--and finding him again reignited a slight bit of hope that maybe it wouldn’t have to. She knew it was a long time coming if that were the case, right? Right? There was...was no way--was there? Magnolia heard the words he was saying--the words that echoed exactly what she felt but it wasn’t until a small, crafted paper ring appeared between them that Lia felt herself gasp loudly. Her hand flew to her mouth as she looked at him, the ring, and him again. No, this had to be a dream--there was no way he was proposing to her--and yet… “Jack--” Her mind spun, trying to find words to complete her though, the moment rendering her speechless in the best way. “Yes!” She finally managed to say, in between laughs and sniffles. It didn’t matter to her that they hadn’t ever said they were a couple--or been on a date. Magnolia Barnes had always known what her answer would have been if he had asked her to marry him--that was a choice she had made on her own years ago and one that had not changed. “Of course--of course. I can think of no better way I’d ever want to spend the rest of my life, Jack Whetstone. No better way.” Without thinking, she pulled him into a kiss--perhaps with slightly more force than she had anticipated. “Oops,” She giggled slightly, “Sorry.”

Jack felt his heart throb in his chest- the moment of silence that lingered between the two of them as he got his words out and just before she answered felt like a million years and less than a second all in one moment. Her ‘yes!’ had him laughing, tears maybe brimming his eyes (not that he’d admit that) and he eagerly leaned into the kiss, not at all minding the way their teeth clashed together as he went. Jack pulled back after a few more kisses and hopped out of bed- he followed the movement with half a happy dance and half a pace across the room, “Okay- we gotta call Momma, I’ll call the private jet company- Vegas sounds good, right? Not that either of us would normally get married there, but that makes sense, right? We’ll find a photographer and get married tomorrow morning. Halloween. Fly back just in time for the gala and then… surprise everyone?” Jack bit his lip- while he may not have been a planner like his fiance, he still liked to have things in order. “We’ll get you a dress in Vegas. Maybe get Elvis to marry us, too?” Jack was certain that his Momma would never let him get away with only an elopement, so the idea of having fun with the first ceremony- one for just the two of them (plus his momma), was his ideal perfect day. Jack jumped back on the bed and pulled Magnolia into another kiss, “Come on’, future Mrs. Whetstone- we got a lot to do and you still gotta go see Moira.” 

A wash of utter joy spread over Magnolia’s entire being as she watched him react to her acceptance and she couldn’t help but laugh along with him--with her fiance. She wasn’t sure she could smile much wider than she currently was--but it was impossible for her not to try at that thought. Fiance. Future Husband. How long has she thought about that far off idea--and now it was here. Like really really here. “Wait--today?” Lia looked over at him pacing, blinking a few times as she caught up with what he was saying. “You mean like...like actually get married today?” The idea was--well, he was right. It wasn’t like either of them to do this and yet...it also made complete sense. Lia had just said she wanted to do something unexpected--and getting married out of the blue was pretty much the epitome of that. Though, as big of a risk as it was, it also felt like...common sense. Of course they’d get married today--how long had they already waited, in a relationship or not? For once in her life, the blonde had no reservations about this idea. Another laugh erupted from her chest and she nodded quickly. “For someone who doesn’t like to plan ahead, you sure are impressive in the moment. But yes--that sounds absolutely perfect. And honestly very easy--who said planning a wedding was hard?” She teased, kissing him back with a grin and doing her best to not get caught up in the moment again--not an easy feat. “Mmm, I’m up, I’m up--you’re little plan to get me out of bed worked a little too well. But go call your Momma, Mr. Whetstone, before her superpower figures it out and you’re in hot water.” Lia giggled, tugging gently on his curl as she skipped to the bathroom--there sure was a lot to do, no time to waste. 

[hippiebuckyharrington]

Just that Lucky

This is for the @harringroveweekoflove prompt secret admirer. 

Read below or on ao3 (it’s 9K so I’d recommend this) here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22703350

5.       The first one is in his gym locker.

 Billy’s early to practice, his English teacher was on the verge of a mental breakdown because of how idiotic her students are and let them out early. He wrenches open his locker and blinks down at the piece of paper sitting on top of the slightly crusty pile of gym shorts at the bottom. He glances around, and then picks it up. It was lying there kinda haphazardly, like it had been shoved through the grate on the front.

 Billy unfolds it, feeling unsure.

Billy,

 I like the way you chew on a pencil when you focus hard on your homework. Makes me look at your mouth, which then makes me think about your mouth on things that aren't a pencil. That got dirty quick didn't it? Yikes. But you're sitting there, out in public, reading fucking Pride and Prejudice, and chewing on your damn pencil, and I can't focus on anything else. Who let you be so handsome?! It's a crime.

 Well, not a crime. But still, I gotta finish this damn assignment, and tell me, how the hell am I supposed to do that with you looking like that? Fucking rude.

 Sorry if this is objectifying, my friend says I shouldn't objectify people, regardless of their gender. But you've got a great mouth, and I bet you're understanding every word of that damn novel. I read about two pages and gave up because I didn't understand a single damn word.

 I hope you smile at this; you deserve smiles.

 Love,

One of what I'm sure are a 100 secret admirers.

 Billy just gapes down at the messy handwriting scrawling over the half a page. It's weird and rambling, not quite written like a letter would normally be, but like whoever this is was just writing down literally everything they thought.

 Billy reads it again. He was reading Pride and Prejudice during lunch yesterday, sitting in the sunshine on the hood of Carol’s car, while she and Tommy made out in the back of the car. He had a quiz over parts of the book that afternoon. Tons of people had been in the parking lot, eating lunch or smoking and enjoying the sunshine and warmth that's so rare for this time of year in Hawkins. Tons of girls had grinned at him, and flirted as they passed, so it's absolutely impossible to know who wrote the letter.

 Billy hears Tommy yelling from out in the gym, and swears softly before shoving the note in his backpack, and changing quickly. He's sitting on the bench, tying his shoes when Harrington and Tommy walk in.

 "Yo Hargrove! What's up?" Tommy yells. Billy rolls his eyes. Harrington goes to his locker.

 "Hey." He says softly.

 "Hi." Billy answers, and hates the way his heart stutters a little. He apologized for beating Steve up, and now they are sort of friends, maybe? It's all confusing, because Billy has maybe just a bit of a crush on Steve.

 Billy ties his shoes and goes out to the gym to start warming up for practice.

 After practice, and chores and yelling, and all the joys that the Hargrove house offers as after school enrichment, when he's curled in bed, he rereads the note, and smiles a little. It's nice to know that someone thought of him like that.

  4.       The next one he finds taped to the underside of his desk.

 He's having a rough day, he had a rough morning, his back still aching from the bookcase he was shoved into, and he's just tired of everything. He drops into his seat, and drops his head to his desk, waiting for Mr. Peters to start the class. He's not really in the mood for math today. The rest of the class files in around him, getting out their homework, and chatting. Billy digs his out, and thinks it on the desk but it goes fluttering off the desk and under to the neighboring one. He sighs, and smiles a little when the girl next to him picks it up and hands it to him.

 "There's something under your desk." She says. Billy moves his feet but sees only cheap linoleum. "No, like taped under it." She says. Billy frowns and feels around, cringing away from the gum, until he finds the paper. He pulls it off, and frowns down at it.

 "Thanks." He says to the girl, who nods and goes back to finishing her homework. Billy glances at his name on the folded scrap, and then unfolds it.

 It's the same handwriting as the one form the other day, and Billy blinks a little in surprise.

 Billy,

 I walked by the gym the other day, and just about died. Your class was apparently lifting weights? I didn't even know we had a weight room! So, I guess I walked by the weight room and not the gym. Anyway, you were lying on the weight bench, pressing so much my mouth went dry. Holy shit. Your arms have no business looking that good. How much were you pressing there, babe? It looked like a lot. I bet it was a lot. God. It's unfair. How can you look so good all the time? How is it that you sweaty and grunting is such a turn on? Actually, I just read that and I get it now. That makes tons of sense. Never mind.

 You didn't see me watching, gaping like a fish. I'm glad of that, because that would have been super awkward.

 I realize that I'm objectifying you again, but it's not creepy. At least it's not supposed to be.

 I have nightmares, I can't sleep through the night, not for almost a year now. I won't bore you with the details, but watching those impressive arms of yours, I realized something. I realized that I'd feel really safe with you holding me in those muscly arms of yours. Bet I'd actually sleep through the night if you held me. Hell, even if you were in the bed with me, I bet I'd sleep just fine. I'm so tired, this doesn't make any sense. Sorry.

 I want to fall asleep in your arms, I want to feel safe again.

 Love,

Probably your most depressing secret admirer.

 Billy just stares down at this letter. His heart aches for whoever this is. He wonders how tall they are, would they fit well in his arms? He assumes they would, and wouldn't mind holding someone as they slept, helping them finally catch the rest they so obviously need.

 Billy tucks the letter in his notebook and tries to focus on the class. He had weights yesterday, so he wonders how long the note has been sitting there. And he wonders all through the lesson, if the writer got any more sleep last night.

 He wonders all through the rest of the day, glancing at all the girls to see who's looking especially tired today. He watches a fair amount of the guys too; girls are normally more flowery in their writing than this person is. And not that he's out or anything, but he's gay, so he hopes it's a guy.

 Billy heads to lunch, scowling out the windows. It's snowing, because of course it is. He's not watching where he's going so he collides with someone, and drops his bag and his lunch, papers and his sandwich scattering everywhere.

 "Oh fuck. Sorry, sorry I'm sorry." Steve says and crouches to start gathering the papers. He's grateful the letter is tucked away in his pocket and not among the notes and homework scattered around the hall.

 "Relax, Harrington." Billy says, and bends to pick his things up too. He glances at Steve and then just stares. Steve looks exhausted, dark circles under his eyes, and tiredness tugging his mouth into a frown.

 "You ok?" Billy asks. Steve nods and shoves his papers back at him.

 "I wouldn't eat that sandwich. Can I buy you lunch?" Steve asks. Billy blinks.

 "You don't have to Harrington, really, it's ok." Billy says. Steve sighs, and digs in his pocket, handing Billy a five.

 "Just take it ok. Sorry to ruin your lunch."

 "Jesus Harrington. What's wrong?" Billy asks.

 "Nothing. I was up late last night." Steve says, and then walks away, hands shoved in his pockets and head down. Billy stares down the hall after him, wondering why Steve looks so rough. Maybe he and the rumor of the week had a fight. He remembers the letter, but dismisses the thought that it’s Steve, because Billy’s not that lucky.

Billy stare’s after the retreating man, and wishes, not for the first time, that he could pull Steve close and tell him everything will be ok.

  3.       The third one Max actually hands him.

 He's waiting at the arcade for her and her friends to be done. He’s bored, so he's sitting in his car, working on his math homework and smoking. A car pulls in next to him, and he glances over, smiling a little when he recognizes Steve’s BMW. Steve leans over and puts down his passenger side window, and nods a little at Billy.

 "Hey." He says, and he looks better than he did last week, less exhausted.

 "Heya pretty boy." Billy teases. Steve grins a little, and flushes slightly.

 "Waiting for Max?" Steve asks. Billy nods, scribbling down an answer.

 "Here for Dustin?" Billy asks.

 "And Will and Mike, and Lucas, and probably El." Steve says, and grins a little.

 "Damn Harrington."

 "I offered." Steve says, with a shrug. "Hey, can I bum a cigarette?" Steve asks. Billy nods, grabs one out of his pack and stretches to hand it over, then holds out his Zippo. He glances up from the problem he was working on when Steve doesn't take it. Instead, Steve puts the cigarette between his lips, and leans over, raising an eyebrow.

 Billy blinks, and his mouth goes dry. He flips the Zippo open, and flicks it so the flame dances. His eyes are riveted to Steve's lips as they purse around the cigarette as he leans over to light it. They must look ridiculous, Billy leaning nearly all the way out of his car to reach, and Steve is leaning so far over the gearshift it's digging into his side. But Billy is enraptured with the flickering light playing on Steve’s face. Steve gets the cigarette lit and they both lean back into their seats.

 He takes a deep pull off the cigarette.

 "Thanks." He says, voice a little rough. Billy just nods, and turns back to his homework because he can't handle what just happened. It's quiet for a while, and then Billy reaches over and dumps the five dollars from the other day in Steve's window.

 "You didn't spend it?" Steve sounds surprised. Billy shrugs. "You should have, I ruined your lunch." Steve says.

 "I don't need it, I stole Carols fries, and Tommy had already bought me a burger." Billy says. The fries’ bit is true, the burger isn’t. But Steve hadn't been in the cafeteria so it didn't matter.

 "Oh. Well, I'm still sorry." Steve whispers. Billy laughs.

 "It's fine Harrington. Shit happens. I'm not mad. You act like I'm gonna hit you. I told you, October was a bad night for me, I'm really sorry for what happened, it won’t ever happen again." Billy says, frowning.

 "I don't think you're gonna hit me. I just feel bad." Steve says. Billy laughs.

 "Don’t, it's fine, really." Billy says, and finishes his homework, shoving it back in his backpack.

 They sit in silence for a moment, Steve finishing his cigarette, Billy trying not to stare too openly. The arcade bursts open and the kids come running out. The boys and El all pile into Steve's car, talking excitedly to him. Max slides into the front seat of the Camaro and hands Billy a folded piece of paper.

 "It was under the wiper." She says. Billy glances at it, and opens it up. Max is leaning around him to yell at her friends and Steve, a conversation he tunes out.

 Bills,

 You had your arm around Carol today. You guys were walking in from the parking lot, I was standing inside waiting for my friend, and I saw you tuck her up against your side. I know better than anyone that she's dating Tommy, but it still made my heart ache. I want to be the one under your arm. I know it was cold, and she is a bitch about the cold, always has been, but I hated seeing her there. I want to be who you pull close walking in to the school. I want to feel the warmth and weight of your arm around my shoulders as we walk.

 But I'm not like Carol. In a lot of ways, but I'm also taller than you. So maybe I should say I want to tuck you under my arm.

 I'm not writing this to be mad or anything, I'm just a little jealous. Because I really like you, and I really care about you. But I don't think that you feel the same way, I don't think you long for me the way I long for you. And that's ok, baby, really it is.

 That's why I don't sign these letters, why I try to avoid you, because I want to be the one you love so bad, I'm afraid if you look at me for too long, you're gonna see it in my eyes. And that if you see it you'll hate me.

 But I like to think that when you read these, you can picture them coming from whatever girl has caught your eye, and that they make you a little happy.

 I just want to make you happy.

 Love,

Your secret admirer that pines the most.

 Billy actually aches reading the words, more than he has reading the others. Whoever wrote them was right, Carol had been bitching about the cold, and he'd jokingly pulled her close. He hadn't seen anyone watching them, but he hates that he caused them any sort of pain. That's never what he wants, contrary to what people think.

Billy folds the letter, tucks it in his pocket. He'll reread it again at home. It's what he does every night, rereads each letter, touching his fingers gently to the words, wondering at the person who wrote them.

 Billy glances over at Steve, the kids are still shouting at each other, not angry shouting, just having a yelled conversation. But Steve is staring at Billy. When Billy meets his eyes, he flushes inexplicably, and suddenly yells at the kids to get their seatbelts on.

 "Is that another one?" Max asks, watching Steve's car tear out of the parking lot.

 "Yeah." He says. Max knows, because they are close, and she found a note. She didn't read the one she found in his jacket pocket, but she asked. Billy had explained and they had spent nearly an hour trying to figure out who wrote the letters.

 "Any idea who it is?" She asks.

 "Nope, not a clue." Billy says, and heads home.

 He gets in a fight with his dad later, and lies down on his bed, crying quietly, holding his ribs.

 Max creeps in after their parents go to bed, and offers an ice pack. She lies on his bed with him, head on his shoulder. She wordlessly hands him the little stack of letters, and closes her eyes and goes to sleep while he rereads them. They make him feel better, warm and lighter.

 2.       The next letter somehow winds up in the pocket of his jeans.

 He's not sure how. Well, that's not true. It had to have happened during basketball practice, that was the only time all day he was out of his jeans. But he didn't find it until it fluttered out of his pocket that night.

 He squashes the little flicker of hope he gets when he realizes it was placed during basketball practice, because there were no girls around at practice. Which means two things. The most likely is that one of the guys planted it for the girl who is writing, and that the first one he found in the locker room was planted by the same friend or she snuck in.

 The option Billy hopes for, quietly and to himself, is that some guy on the team is the secret admirer. He hopes its Steve. He knows that it’s not, he knows that. But God, Billy wants it to be, so so badly.

 He picks this note up, and is unfolding it when the phone rings. He leaps up and answers it, before his dad can yell.

 "Hello?" He says.

 "Oh wow. Didn't think you'd answer. I prepared a whole speech if someone who wasn't you answered and I had to ask for you." Steve is rambling. Billy can't believe it. Steve is calling him? Him?!

 "Harrington?" He asks.

 "Yeah. Hi." Steve says breathlessly.

 "Who's on the phone?" Neil barks from around the corner to the living room., pausing his argument with Susan, to yell at Billy.

"A friend, we have a school project, I told him not to call after 5." Billy says quickly.

 "Him?!" Neil cries. Billy winces, and is glad Neil can't see him.

 "Yeah, uh the teacher paired us; our last names are next to each other in the alphabet. I didn't get to pick. And he's dating Nancy Wheeler." Billy calls.

 "No, I'm not." Steve says, sounding confused. Billy closes his eyes.

 "Oh, well he's not allowed over here. And you have fifteen minutes. This can be done during school hours." Neil snaps, and then goes back to the argument.

 "Yes sir." Billy calls and then turns away from the living room.

 "Why are you calling?" Billy snaps, low and nervous.

 "Um… I just wanted to talk." Steve says. Billy frowns.

 "You want to what? Harrington, we don't do this. You can't call here." Billy snaps.

 "Well, I just… I thought…." Steve stutters. Billy sighs.

 "Out with it. Why did you actually call?" Billy asks, softly. Neil doesn't get mad at the soft voice, because he hates being disrupted, he prefers Billy silent or whispering.

 "Uh, Jonathan, Nancy and I are all going to drive over to Roan tomorrow and go to their movie theater and then grab pizza. Do... Do you want to come?" Billy blinks. Blinks again. And still can't believe what he heard.

 "Like a date?" He whispers, and worries Steve doesn't hear him.

 "No, God no. Ha-ha, I just don't want to third wheel with them. And we are friends, right? So, I thought we could spend some time together outside of basketball or class. Sorry, this was stupid. Sorry." Steve whispers.

 "No… uh… I'll come." Billy says.

 "Really?!"

 "Yes. But I really have to go now." Billy says, and then hangs up. He takes a deep breath and goes into his room, and waits a few minutes.

 He takes another deep breath and goes out to grab a glass of water from the kitchen. He stops in the living room. Neil and Susan are glaring at each other, Susan looking tired.

 "Excuse me." He says. Susan immediately straightens and turns to look at him, smiling. Neil scowls, and glares at him.

 "Uh, I have a date tomorrow, is it ok if I go?" He asks. Susan grins.

 "Of course, Billy, tomorrow's Friday, go have fun. I'll pick Max up from school" She says.

 "Who's the date with?" Neil demands.

 "Heather Holloway, we are going to go bowling and then to dinner after school. And then maybe to her parents’ house, they want me to come to game night." Billy lies smoothly. Heather is cool and if he tells her tomorrow, she'll cover for him.

 "Curfew is at 11." Is all Neil says. Billy nods and then goes to his room and quietly shuts the door, wincing when the argument in the living room picks up again.

 The note is still sitting on his bed. He sits down and unfolds it, smiling a little.

 Bills,

 I am currently third wheeling with my friends right now. We are at my place, watching a movie. They are curled together under a blanket (don't be gross nothing is happening aside from cuddles). But they look so content, I think she's gonna fall asleep on him. I wish you were here.

 I wish we were curled under a blanket. I want your head on my chest, I want to comb my fingers through your curls. Are they as soft as they look? I'm sure they are.

 I want to hear your sarcastic comments, I want to hear what you'd say to this movie. I want to lean down and kiss you the way my friends just did. I want to hold you close, and just enjoy being with you.

 I want to tuck my nose in your curls and just breathe you in. I want to hold you, and ease the tension I can see in your shoulders, and the hurt behind your eyes. I hate that you hurt. I hate that someone makes you ache like that. You should never hurt. Never.

 I have a confession. I saw you get one of these letters. I won't say which one. But I saw you get one, and the way you smiled at it. The way you read it, with such reverence. I've never seen your walls come down like that. I've never seen you look like that until you were reading my note, reading my words.

 And Bills, it filled me with such an ache, an ache to see you smile like that, actually at me, not at my notes. I want you to smile like that while looking in my eyes.

 I want to say sweet things to you, to your face. I can just picture it.

 Lying in bed with you, after we are together you know? Whispering sweet things, telling you nice wonderful things that you should hear all the time, and watching you smile like that. But this time, it’s all for me and only me. I want to be the only one who gets the real you, baby. I want the real you, and I want to hold you, always.

 I just want to love you, so so bad. I mean actually love you, not this pining bullshit.

Love,

The Secret Admirer who makes you smile like that

 Billy cries over the note, pressing it to his heart and letting the ache of longing both his own, and the one contained on the page, wash over him. He’s a little embarrassed at the tears, but the words resonate with him.

  1.       The fifth letter he finds right before hanging out with Steve.

  Heather is the best, and readily agrees to cover for him, without even asking why.

Billy is distracted all day thinking about the plans with Steve after school. He can hardly focus, and smokes nearly his whole pack of cigarettes he's so nervous.

 When school finally ends, he takes a fortifying breath and treks to the parking lot. Jonathan, Nancy and Steve are leaning against Steve's Beemer, and Billy nods at them, before dumping some books in his car. He dawdled enough that Susan has already come and gone with Max, so there are no worries she will see him.

 There's another note sitting on the windshield under the wiper again. He grabs it and then walks toward the others.

 "This is weird right?" Billy says when he walks up.

 "No. Steve wanted to invite you so you're coming. It's not weird. You know all the same shit we do, it's about time we all hung out." Nancy says. She means the upside down, which Billy found out about after beating Steve up. Max gave him only enough sedative to knock him out for maybe an hour. He woke up and found the thing in the freezer, and stuck around needing to know what the hell was going on. Max told him. And that was that.

 "Weird logic there Wheeler, but alright." He says.

 "Jon and Nance are gonna take their car, you ok to ride with me?" Steve asks. Billy shrugs.

 "Great, none of us have big enough cars to fit everyone comfortably. Steve, you'll follow us?" Nancy says. Steve nods and the other two head across the parking lot to their car. Billy climbs into Steve's car and shifts around nervously.

 "What's that?" Steve asks, following Jonathan’s car out of the lot. He means the note clutched in Billy's fist.

 "Nothing." Billy says, and pockets the note. Steve shrugs and they drive on in silence.

 "Do you know what you're doing for the summer?" Steve asks. Billy shrugs.

 "I might try and lifeguard. I've got a certification from Cali that still works here, so I think I can get hired." Billy mutters. "You?"

 "Don't know. Work probably. Go up to the lake with Robin probably." Steve says.

 "Robin? That your new girlfriend?" Billy asks.

 Steve laughs, "No. She's just a good friend of mine." Steve says. Billy nods.

 They lapse into silence. It's only about a 30-minute drive between Hawkins and Roan, and Billy sees a couple cars on the highway around them from Hawkins High. It's a popular Friday night destination apparently. Billy can't stop thinking about the note in his pocket. He can't decide what he wants.

 On the one hand, existing in an enclosed space near Steve is intoxicating, and he doesn't want to miss it. On the other, the notes from this secret admirer have meant so much to him, and he can't believe he's only gotten five in total. They've started taking up that much space in his life. He also doesn't want Steve to know, to see how much Billy needs this note, even though Steve sort of already saw the other day, this feels different.

 "Sorry." Steve says. "I'm sorry this is awkward."

 "You apologize too much pretty boy. Are you that afraid of me?" Billy asks.

 "No, I'm not afraid of you! Why would you say that?!" Steve says.

 "You apologize like you think I'm gonna beat you up again or something. I swear, I'm not. I don’t know why you don’t believe me." Billy mumbles.

 "No, I believe you! I don't think about that anymore. It's just a bad habit. My parents act like I can never do anything right, and they expect an apology for everything, just a habit. Sorry." Steve says, and then blushes a little.

 "Oh. Well you don't have to apologize to me, ok? I'm not mad at you, ever. Except when you missed that shot yesterday." Billy teases.

"Ok, first of all fuck you! Second of all, that was not my fault!" Steve shrieks.

 "Oh really?!" Billy says. Steve huffs indignantly and launches into a tirade on why the missed shot in yesterday's practice was not his fault. Billy argues back good naturedly and the car ride passes quickly.

 They pull up to a spot next to Jonathan and Nancy at the theater and argue for a few more minutes before Steve huffs and leaves the car. Billy grins and follows.

 "What were you two arguing about?" Nancy asks, looking concerned.

 "Basketball." They say at the same time and then grin at each other.

 They catch some horror movie that Billy has never heard of, and Steve buys some popcorn for the two of them to share.

 It feels like a date.

 It feels like a date when Steve sits next to Nancy and yanks Billy into the seat next to him. It feels like a date when Steve parks the popcorn bucket in Billy's lap, and then grabs fistfuls of it. It feels like a date when a jump scare has the whole theater jumping and with a gentle gasp, Steve grabs Billy's arm. It feels like a date when someone is getting mauled on screen and Steve turns toward Billy and kinda curls toward him. It feels like a date when Steve hides his face in Billy's shoulder while the villain is creeping through the creepy house.

"Is it over?" Steve whispers. Billy turns his head and leans into that fluffy hair.

 "Not yet pretty boy, give it a second." He murmurs back.

 It feels like a date when Steve nods, and sighs a little against Billy.

 Billy can hardly focus on the movie, so much so that he has no idea what little plot there is, and he isn't jumping and gasping with everyone else. He's so attuned to the boy beside him. To Steve's grip on his arm, that hurts, but not in a bad way, to Steve’s head on his shoulder, and his gentle breathes on Billy’s arm. Steve turns his head a little and peaks at the screen when the ominous music stops.

 "Jesus fuck!" Steve whispers when the masked villain is suddenly popping on screen. Billy laughs a little.

 Steve doesn't move his head from Billy's shoulder the whole movie, his grip on Billy's forearm never changing.

 After the movie ends, the villain apprehended, the perky blonde and the jock alive and well, the four of them leave. Steve just simply let’s go of Billy and gets up following Nancy and Jonathan out into the now dark parking lot. Nancy and Steve talking about the finer points of the movie, debating things as they go. Jonathan watches on, and Billy just gapes at them.

 "Don't you think Billy?" Nancy calls suddenly. Billy had paused to shake a cigarette out of the pack he keeps in his jean jacket, and lights up.

 "Do I think what?" Billy mumbles around the cigarette.

 Nancy launches into some long-winded explanation about the movie, and then looks expectantly at him.

 "Damn, Wheeler. I really wasn't paying that much attention." Billy mumbles, taking a long pull of his cigarette.

 "Ugh." She huffs and then turns to Steve who apparently agrees.

 "They do this often?" Billy asks Jonathan, who is standing by him.

 "Yeah every time we got to the movies." Jonathan says, and shrugs a little. "Can I bum a smoke?" He asks. Billy raises an eyebrow.

 "You smoke?" Billy says, but he digs out his pack and lighter.

 "Only sometimes. Thanks." Jonathan says and lights up. Billy nods, does the same, and leans against the Beemer with Jon while Nancy and Steve argue. Billy and Jon smoke in silence, just watching.

 "Nance, babe, I'm hungry." Jonathan says, flicking his cigarette butt away a while later. Billy chuckles.

"Oh, right! Sorry! Pizza!" She says. Steve grins and they pile back into the cars.

 "Sorry, Nancy and I can really get going." Steve says, as he starts the car. Billy laughs a little.

 "I don't mind. Quit apologizing." Billy teases.

"Alright. Thanks for coming." Steve says, merging into traffic.

 "You just invited me for my muscles during the scary parts of the movies." Billy teases. He really is just teasing but Steve blushes a little.

 "No, I invited you because I want to be friends, like actual friends, and I'm sick of always just hanging out with Nance and Jon, that's a little much sometimes." Steve mutters.

 "Wow, you've fought monsters that shouldn't exist but third wheeling with your ex and her boyfriend is too much?" Billy teases. Steve laughs.

 "Exactly." Steve says, and Billy chuckles.

The pizza place is packed in the way that the best restaurant in small towns always are. They squeeze into a booth in the corner, Nancy and Jonathan on one side, Steve and Billy on the other.

They order cokes and the greasiest pizza Billy has ever seen. But it's delicious, and they talk and laugh all through the meal.

 Billy doesn't feel like an outsider like he kind of expected to, Nancy cracks up at his story about the time his math teacher had nearly quit after their last test because everyone but Billy had gotten it all wrong. (Billy omits that part; nobody expects him to be as smart as he is and he hates explaining.)

It’s nice. Billy's not sure he's ever hung out like this, he has friends of course, and he had a huge group of people he hung out with back in California. But nothing like this, nothing without pressure, and it's really nice.

 Jonathan and Steve get up, mumbling something about the best cheesecake ever. Nancy yawns and watches some of the other people in the restaurant. There’s a lull, so Billy pulls the note out of his pocket, and unfolds it. Nancy pillows her head in her hands and ignores him. It's not rude, they are just a little tired, she apparently was up all night last night studying for an exam this morning.

 Bills,

 I hope you don't mind that nickname by the way. You've got a nickname for me, and I felt like I should have one for you.

 Anyway, I hope you don't think I'm creepy. All of these letters I feel like I've said how I've watched you without you being aware of it. It's not meant to be creepy, I just like looking at you. Partly because you're just so gorgeous, I can't believe it. I love it, you have such good hair, and all those muscles, and don't get me started on your eyes.

 But I also just feel better when I look at you. My stress and my worry feel better when I see you.

And this morning, I watched you laugh with Max. You two got here early and you were helping her on her skateboard, before too many other people showed up. I couldn't sleep again and got to school early too.

 You don't want anyone to know, but you're actually an amazing brother. Don't worry, I won't tell. It just makes you better, baby. You really care about her, I can tell and I bet she feels the same. I can't say too much, because if I say more on this next sentence, I worry it will give away too much. But, watching the two of you, made me think you'd fit in my life pretty damn great.

 I can't say more, I'm sorry baby. I really want you to know who I am, but I'm afraid you'll hate me if you find out.

 I just want you to be with me and my friends. Have you ever felt like that Bills? Like you've stared at someone and wanted to have them over for game night with all of the other most important people in your life? You'd fit in with them I think, and I'd certainly have more fun with you there. At game night at my house I bet we could cuddle on the couch while everyone played. Wouldn't that be nice? I really just want to always be touching you, regardless of what we're doing. Not in a dirty way (not always at least), but in a we love each other kind of way. Does that make sense?

 I just want to love you Billy Hargrove. I want to know everything about you, and I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss you, hug you, have sex with you. I want to cuddle you, cause even tough guys like you need to be held, and I want to treat you right.

 I'd be so good for you, I'm not even trying to be cocky. We would be great together, and I can't ever tell you because I don't think you'd ever look at me the way I want. This is better. And Hawkins is a backwards small town, so it's just better this way.

 Love,

Someone who really hopes they're your only secret admirer.

 It's the longest letter he's gotten. And it doesn't make him ache any less than the other have, but it makes him smile too.

 "Note from someone special?" Nancy asks. Billy jolts and gently folds it back up. "Don't worry, I didn't read it. But your face reading it tells me that it's someone special." She mutters.

 "Who's special?" Steve asks, sitting down and sliding a piece of cheesecake at Billy.

 "Billy's got a note from someone special." Nancy says, sitting up so Jonathan can scoot her own piece toward her. A strange look flashes across Steve's face. "Oh? Who is it?" Steve asks.

 "I don't know. It's from a secret admirer." Billy mutters.

 "Wow. That's so sweet. Who do you think it is?" Nancy asks.

 "I don't know. I haven't gotten very many of the letters." He says, still not quite believing this is only his fifth.

 "The handwriting looked familiar, if you want me to look at it I can and see who I think it is." Nancy offers. Steve's fork goes clattering to the ground, and he chokes on the cheesecake.

 "No, that's ok. There is some really personal stuff in these letters, I don't want them to feel uncomfortable, whoever they are." Billy says. Nancy shrugs and moves on. Steve stays quiet.

 They settle the bill and head out to the cars. Nancy and Jon are going to go hit the record store, so Steve and Billy head back alone. It’s quiet for a while.

 "You really have no idea what girl is writing you the notes?" Steve asks a few minutes later. Billy glances at him in the dark.

 "Uh no, but I don't think it's a girl." Billy mutters.

 "Really? You don't sound mad…" Steve hedges. Billy shoots him another look.

 "Well, no. Why would I be mad?"

 "Because it's a guy writing you love letters? Right? If it’s not a girl than it’s a guy." Steve mumbles.

 "I'd rather it be a guy than a girl." Billy says, confused. Max is many things, but she can't keep her mouth shut, and she's with Steve a lot. She must have told her friends about Billy. She’s known for years he’s gay.

 "What?" Steve says.

 "Harrington, come on. Catch on already, damn." Billy mutters. It takes Steve a beat.

 "Oh… oh. I thought Max was lying."

 "I knew she told you." Billy sighs. "Look, I'm not ashamed, but the person writing me is, so please don't tell anyone."

 "I'm not gonna, don't worry. I wouldn’t do that.” He pauses for a minute. “You don't even know who's writing you, why are you protecting them?" Steve asks.

 "Because they are putting themselves out there, and their words have meant a lot to me. I get that they can't be out, and I've been outed before, it's not anything I would want for them." Billy mutters. Steve appears to mull that over for a little while.

 "You're a better person than you let on." Steve finally says.

 "Tell anyone and you're dead." Billy snarks back. Steve laughs, and the tension in the car finally breaks.

 They talk about the kids, and their annoying teachers for the rest of the drive. When Steve drops Billy off at the Camaro, there’s a weird almost hesitation, where Steve kind of leans toward Billy, and Billy sort of leans in, and then Steve loudly says, "Have a good weekend!!" And all but plasters himself against his door. Billy nods and climbs out of the car.

 When he gets home, Susan is sitting on the couch smoking.

 “Susan?” Billy says, surprised that she’s still up. It’s not late exactly, but she and Neil go to bed at 10 most nights.

 “Billy. Sit for a minute, would you?” She asks. Billy frowns and glances around for Neil, but he’s nowhere around.

 “Everything ok?” Billy asks.

 “Yes. I kicked you father out.” Susan says, and takes a long pull off her cigarette. Billy blinks at her in stunned silence. “I couldn’t take the way he talked to you, and to Max and to me. I’m done with him. You don’t have to stay here, but I’m not going to kick you out.”

 “Wow.” Billy breathes. Susan offers him a small smile.

 “I’m sorry, you’ve had so much upheaval in your life, but you don’t have to leave and go with him. No matter what he says. You can stay here, Max adores you and I know I’m not your mom but…” Susan trails off, and blows out a long breath.

 “I’ll stay. I don’t want to go anywhere with that asshole.” Billy says, and Susan grins. She sends him off to his room, and sits in the living room, smoking for a long time.  

 He rereads all the letters before he falls asleep that night and then thinks about the way Steve had grabbed his arm in the movie, and how close he had sat. For the first time in a long time, Billy goes to sleep with a grin on his face.

  +1.     They all start hanging out after that. Nancy catches his arm in the hall way at lunch on Monday and tows him to their lunch table, where she all but shoves him into a chair. She demands he read over her lit essay because Steve and Jonathan are useless. Billy feels a little shell shocked, but he reads her essay, offers her some notes and then ends up eating with them. After that, one of them always seems to find him at lunch to drag him with them, and eventually he stops fighting it. He even tells them about his dad leaving, and they all seem happy for him.

  There’s the added bonus of Steve always looking thrilled to see him so he just rolls with it.

 Tommy and Carol look offended, but eventually they get over it, he still goes to parties with them so they relax.

 The letters mysteriously stop, and for three weeks he doesn't get another one. Billy tries not to be disappointed, but it's hard.

 "You look serious today Billy." Steve comments as he slides into his spot at the lunch table. Billy glances away from where he was watching the rest of the cafeteria, wondering if his secret admirer is out there somewhere.

 "Yeah, just thinking." Billy mutters.

 "You ok?" Steve asks. Billy nods, and goes back to people watching.

 "Looking for someone?" Steve asks, poking at his mashed potatoes.

"You ask a lot of questions." Billy teases.

"Just curious." Steve shrugs.

 "My secret admirer hasn't written in a while, if you're gonna be nosy." Billy says, and rolls his eyes, turning to pull his math homework out when he sees Jonathan and Nancy leave the lunch line. He and Jonathan have the same math teacher, but at different periods, so they compare homework a lot.

"Oh. You sound bummed." Steve points out.

 "I am. I liked the letters. Made me feel… I don't know. Important, I guess? Forget it. It's stupid." Billy glances at Steve. "Quit grinning like an idiot Harrington, I can be honest sometimes." Billy snaps.

 Steve just keeps grinning. Billy rolls his eyes, but the shame and embarrassment he was expecting over being that open and honest doesn't come. He and Steve are good friends now, same with Jonathan and Nancy.

 He even got stoned with Jon at a party last week, which had been weird but good.

 It's weird having friends like this. He's not sure he minds though, he likes them, even if he'll never admit it.

 He and Jonathan work on their homework through lunch, and Steve and Nancy talk about some annoying thing Mike and Dustin did.

 Jonathan joins in with a story about Will, and Billy finds himself contributing with stories about Max.

After lunch, they all disperse to class. Billy goes to math and finds that he and Jonathan did all their homework right.

He and Steve nod at each other as they pass in the hall between classes and he watches as Steve goes up to Robin Buckley and starts chatting with her, handing her something that makes her laugh at him and makes him blush. Billy frowns, wondering why. The rest of his classes pass quickly, and when he gets to the last one, he's surprised to find a note on his desk.

 He tries not to appear too eager, but he unfolds it quickly.

 Bills,

 I saw you looking at lunch today. I was sitting off to the side of where you were looking, so I got to see your profile. You're beautiful. It takes my breath away sometimes. Looking at you, sitting by those big windows, you looked so good. Have you done something different with your curls? They looked great today, so soft. And your eyes, you looked at me for just a second before you looked away, and I swear I drowned in your eyes. The light hit them just right, thank god it was sunny today, and they kind of sparkled. I could stare at them all the time.

 I just realized today, when you looked at me, that you have freckles. FRECKLES Billy are you kidding me? How the hell is a man supposed to function with you looking like that?! I bet they are even darker in the summer time. I don't know how I've lived not knowing you had freckles, I'm in love with them. I want to kiss every one, I want to count them, I want to memorize them.

 And then to find that these letters make you feel important?! Baby, you're killing me today. I'm sorry I didn't write recently, I've been kinda distracted. I'll write you thousands of letters though, because you deserve to feel important. And it's not stupid to feel that way, you deserve to be fucking cherished baby. And I intend to do that, even if it's in the form of letters, and even if you never know who I am, I'm gonna fucking cherish you Billy Hargrove.

 You and those damn freckles. Jesus Christ. They kill me. You kill me, but what a wonderful way to go, death by a beautiful boy and his god damn freckles. Holy shit.

 I can't even focus on class, I keep thinking about your damn eyes, and hair, and fucking freckles. Who knew, freckles would kill me so much.

 Love,

The best secret admirer there ever was

 Billy has to read the letter four times, because he can't believe it. He was only sitting close enough to one person to see his freckles, they fade to barely there in the winter, you have to catch him in the right light and be close to see them. And only one person was. He also sits in a quieter corner of the lunchroom, and no one else was near enough to hear what he said about the letters, except of course the person he said them to.

 Billy can't believe it, and happiness bubbles in his chest. He tries to tamp it down, it could not be who he wants, and Billy is never this lucky. He's never lucky to have his crush actually be the one crushing on him, is he?

 He can't ignore it though. Unless Steve told someone what he said, but that's not how the letters read. They read exactly like someone who stared at him from across the table all through lunch and then ran to their next class and scribbled down the note. And that screams Steve Harrington.

 It's got to be him.

 Then there's the other clue: Robin Buckley sitting next to him, sneaking looks at Billy, while managing to look bored to tears.

 Suddenly what Billy saw Steve give her makes a lot more sense.

 "Buckley." Billy leans over and hisses.

 "What?" She snaps, eyeing the clock pointedly. Class ends in five minutes, but Billy can't wait that long.

 "What does Steve have after school today?" Billy demands. They start packing up their stuff and Robin shoots him a look.

 "What's it to you?" She demands. Billy holds up the note and raises an eyebrow. Robin sighs in relief.

 "Thank god you figured it out. Fucking finally. I'm sick of his pining. Be nice when you reject him ok? He's got nothing after school, he'll be at home." Robin says. The bell rings and Billy fly out of his seat.

 "Who says I'm rejecting him?" Billy says, and then books it to his car. Steve is already gone, but that's fine.

 "Max!" Billy yells, when he sees her fiery hair. She comes running up.

 "Can you get a ride now? Or skate home? I have to do something." Billy says. Max raises an eyebrow.

 "Yeah? I'm going to Will's for DnD remember, you're picking me up before dinner?" Max says, and Billy laughs a little.

 "Right, right ok. Great. I found out who's writing me the letters." Billy says. Max grins.

 "Really? Who?!" She demands.

 "It's Steve. I have to go, but I'll be at the Byers in time." He says. Max laughs and nods, before running back to her friends. Billy practically leaps into his car and takes off toward Loch Nora.

 He roars up to Steve's house and throws the car in park so fast it actually jolts.

 "Sorry baby!" Billy tells the car, and then he's running up to Steve's front door. He pounds on it, heart in his throat.

 "What the hell do you want…Billy?" Steve says, looking confused. He takes in Billy's panting, his probably wild eyes and he pales a little, instantly looking around. "Are you ok? What's going on? Are you hurt?" Steve asks. Billy smiles fondly.

 "Can I come in?" He asks. Steve nods, standing aside.

 "Of course. Are you ok? Billy?" He asks, following Billy into the living room. Billy turns and just looks at Steve. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out the letter.

 "Is it you?" Billy asks. Steve pales even further, and then goes beet red from the neck of his polo to his hairline.

 "Fuck." He mutters.

 "Oh my god. It is you." Billy breathes, elation swelling in his chest. It's Steve, he apparently can be that lucky.

 "Ok, before you yell at me, you were never supposed to find out. I started writing letters to you and Robin said I should send them because if I left it anonymous and you never caught me delivering them, I could like work through my pining. So, I did, and then you liked them, and I kept sending them, but I never planned to tell you, because I didn't think you'd want it to be me you know?" Steve flails his arms, and starts pacing a little, the words leaving him in a rush.

 "And like I totally meant all of it, every word, but I get that it's weird, and you said you're gay but it's probably different now that it's me, and like some guys don't like to be with people who are bi, which I totally get. You weren’t supposed to find out, I'm not sure how you did, but you're like super smart so I guess I should have seen this coming. And then we started getting closer you know? And then it was kinda too late, and I don't know how to work with this. I'm talking so much, Jesus Christ." Steve says, and pushes his hands into his hair. Billy cracks up then, full on belly laughs.

 "Why are you laughing?" Steve asks, looking adorably confused. Billy walks over to him, and grins.

 "First, I'm not gonna yell." Billy says.

 "You aren't? Because you totally can, I was being creepy, and I broke into your gym locker., and-" Steve starts again. Billy chuckles.

 "Easy pretty boy. I'm not mad. I'm not gonna yell at you. And I found out because your last letter was super obvious it was you. No one else was around when I told you the letters made me feel important, and no one was sitting close enough to see my freckles. Are they that distracting that you forgot to hide who you are?" Billy teases. Steve flushes again, and glances at Billy's nose before looking at his feet.

 "I never noticed them before. Fucking freckles and I ruin everything. They are too cute, just lil freckles. Fuckin rude." Steve mutters, like he doesn't want Billy to hear. Billy laughs.

 "Stevie, look at me." Billy whispers, and Steve does, though probably because Billy has never called him Stevie before.

 "I'm sorry. I didn't want to disappoint you. I can't imagine you wanted it to be me." Steve whispers, looking sad.

 "Pretty boy, the only way I would have been sad is if it wasn't you writing me." Billy says, and loves that he's close enough to see the words sink in. Steve's eyes widen, and his jaw drops.

 "You… you wanted it to be me?" Steve whispers. Billy steps closer, until their chests almost brush as they breathe.

 "Yeah, Stevie, I did." Billy says, and reaches up to brush some hair away from Steve's face.

 "Wait. If you wanted it to be me, and you aren't mad then that means…." Steve trails off, and Billy smiles at him. "Holy shit, you like me back?!" Steve says, too loud for how close they are standing, but Billy doesn't mind.

 "Yep." Billy says.

 "Holy shit. Can I kiss you?" Steve whispers. Billy grins, and wraps his arms around Steve's neck pulling him in. It's a gentle kiss at first, that quickly deepens. Steve tentatively works his hand into Billy's curls, and at Billy's hum of agreement, grips them tight. Billy licks into Steve's mouth eagerly when Steve opens his lips a little, Billy's arms griping Steve tight to keep him close.

 "Wow." Steve says, pulling back to pant against Billy's lips. Billy chuckles, low and wrecked.

 "I love you too, pretty boy. I've reread all of your letters so many times." Billy whispers, and Steve pulls him close, burying his face in Billy's neck.

 "I can't believe this is happening." Steve says. Billy laughs.

 "Me neither. I was hoping it was you, every time I read one. Remember the one saying you liked being a mystery so I could picture whoever I wanted writing me?" Steve nods against his neck. "I always pictured you. And I don’t care that you’re bi, just as long as you like me." Steve makes a small whining noise at that and pulls Billy closer. Billy smiles, and breathes in Steve's scent. Sweet and spicy and uniquely Steve, and Billy adores it.

 "I believe I was promised cuddles and sweet things whispered in my ear." Billy mutters. Steve laughs, and pulls back to brush his fingers through Billy's hair.

 "Tell me something first." Steve whispers.

 "What's up Stevie?" Billy asks.

"You're really glad it's me? You're not disappointed?" Steve asks, and Billy can see in those earnest brown eyes how worried he actually is.

 Billy yanks him in for another kiss, and pushes his hands into Steve's hair. Steve responds eagerly and tightens his grip on Billy.

 "Yes, baby, I'm very glad it's you. I love you Steve Harrington, just try getting rid of me now." Billy teases. "I need some cherishing." He means it as a joke, but Steve's eyes soften and go a little liquid.

 "Hell yeah you do, and I intend to do a damn good job. I love you too." Steve whispers. Billy grins up at him.

 Steve tugs them upstairs, they tug off their shoes and curl up on the bed. Steve pulls Billy into his arms, and dots kisses over his freckles.

 "Steve Harrington, done in and giving up the secret by a couple freckles." Billy murmurs softly. Steve laughs.

 "Steve Harrington done in by Billy Hargrove, who apparently has freckles." Steve corrects. Billy laughs, and snuggles closer.

 "You still have to write me letters." Billy huffs. Steve laughs and catches Billy in another kiss.

 "I can do that." Steve says, and Billy sighs happily. He falls asleep in Steve's arms, while Steve holds him and counts his freckles.

[jckwhetstone]

10/31/2020 - JACK & MAGNOLIA WHETSTONE

There’s a moment when you say to yourself, “Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you forever.” Except... my moment happened when when I was too young to even remember and then happened again six months ago in a random hallway, in a random hotel in Chicago. I’ve spent my life chasing the feeling of finding someone special and didn’t want to wait to make her mine forever. Happy wedding day, my love. 

If you’d like to listen to Jack & Lia’s wedding song, click here. 

If you’d like to read Jack’s vows to Lia, click here.

Beneath the cut is the story on how Jack and Lia got engaged, in their own perspectives. 

Jack feels like it’s a dream when he rolls over and finds a head of blonde hair next to him. Of course, he quickly realizes it’s not when he inhales a mouthful of hair and tries not to gag on it. “Hey,” his voice is soft as it comes out, his hand dragging up the soft skin of Lia’s arm until he can twist his fingers into hers, “Mags- hey, you should wake up. Don’t you and Moira have a costume shopping thing happening in like… an hour?” Jack’s eyes flicker to the clock that sits on the bedside table closest to Magnolia’s head and it’s already 10:30- this is the first time he’s slept in in years and there’s nothing he wants more than to stay curled up around Magnolia forever. Jack cuddles in closer and slides his leg between hers, his cold toes pressing against her ankle, “It’s not like you to sleep in like this. Come on, Mags- don’t make me tickle you.” His hand brushes over her side, “I’ll do it. I will.” 

“Mmmmhh,” She mumbles incoherently as she feels Jack’s fingers intertwine with hers. “Shopping can wait till later. I am not moving.” She presses herself closer to him to emphasize the point.  In truth, Jack was right--Magnolia didn’t sleep in hardly ever but that was before she’d fallen asleep in Jack’s bed with him beside her. Now the idea of never leaving was a thousand times more compelling and she was planning to do just that. She jumped softly as the shock of cold on her ankles but still made no move to get up. Sleeping next to Jack was by far the most comfortable position she’d ever been in and waking up next to him was something she could do forever, if given the option. She yawns lazily, shifting slight to adjust to fall back asleep when she hears his threat. “You wouldn’t,” Lia’s eyes open just a slight bit more, sending him a glare. “Don’t you dare tickle me mister, I can’t be held responsible for what happens if you do!” 

“Oh, wouldn’t I?” his fingers dance over her side and he gives it a squeeze in hopes that she’ll jump. Jack leans forward and over her, a smile pulling wide across his face as he does, “You know she’ll kill you if you’re late. Or she’ll kill me. Regardless of who she kills, one of us will be suffering, so you really should get up.” Jack lays down on top of Magnolia while laughing - it may not be his entire body weight but they break out in giggles, “Do you have any ideas on what you’re thinking of getting for a costume? I have no desire in the slightest to go get a costume so I was thinking like… James Bond or something. Slick back hair- suit, you know… the usual.” It’s not that Jack hated Halloween- he really didn’t, in fact- he loved getting to dress up, but this year had been weird and he was just ready for the month to be over. 

“Jack!” She gasps slightly, laughter escaping from her as she looks at him more clearly. She watches as a few stray curls fall in front of his eyes and her heart jumps in the same way her body did when he squeezed her side. She thought herself a pretty focused person, all things considered--until you threw Jack Whetstone in the mix. Just a look at him and her whole train of thought just fly out the window. Lia’s lips slipped into a sly smirk, her free hand maneuvering up to brush the curls from his eyes before she leaned forward to kiss him gently. “First of all, I’m a princess to her--so that grants me royal immunity,” She teased, another giggle bubbling from within her. She didn’t believe Moira when she called her a princess, but she was also pretty convinced the woman would let her being a teensy-bit late slide, all things considered. “And secondly, I can probably use that immunity on you too--but if you are really that tired of me hogging your bed…” A quick peck on the nose and she thought on his question. “Well I don’t know--I haven’t dressed up for Halloween in years. Usually I’m working.” Most holidays she’s working, but that wasn’t the question. “The usual? So, you think you’re usually 007, huh? I mean, I suppose you’re handsome enough for it,” She laughed again, her arms snaking to wrap loosely around his neck. “Well the obvious choice is some sort of princess or--like a mouse? But I don’t know, I kind of think it’d be fun to do something not obvious for once, y’know? Throw everyone off their groove?”

“You’re a princess to everyone, Mags. It’ll always amaze me how you don’t see how people lay down and roll over like lovesick puppies for you,” He pressed his lips to her shoulder and kissed across it- they’d hardly done anything more than kissing and cuddling, but this was enough for Jack for once. This felt right. “I’m pretty damn sure I’m James Bond at all times,” he rolled his eyes at the expected jar comment that he knew would follow- at this rate, he was pretty sure he could afford to buy an engagement ring with the amount of money he owed Magnolia. “What if we did like… a couple’s costume? I know that’s cliche and I know we arent a couple…” his words hung in the air for a moment. What even were they anyways? Basically a couple, right? Just one that never spoke about how they felt, “I’d offer to be someone from Pride and Prejudice but honestly… I don’t think I can pull off the look.” Jack let his hands hang off of Magnolia’s arms, his thumb brushing against her soft skin, “Well… if you’re looking for something not obvious, I think playing it safe is not the way to go.” 

“Lovesick puppies?” A soft giggle escaped her lips as she felt him kiss her shoulders. “Oh please, they don’t do that. I just ask nicely and usually they are nice enough to help out--or my bag of baked goods helps. I’m like Mary Poppins but with cookies!” Nothing about this scenario felt wrong or weird to her--like it was just normal to wake up in the bed of your crush without anything having happened the night before and the idea that it felt just right made her smile wide. “Jack--” She looked around the room they were in and let out a sigh. “Dang it, the jar doesn’t count in the bedroom.” Lia sent him a wink and she laughed a little, swiftly moving on to his next suggestion--a couples costume. Or, rather, a not-officially-a-couple couples costume. That name didn’t roll off the tongue half as well--but nevermind that. “First of all, you could pull off anything you wanted to--but even so, Pride and Prejudice might still be too obvious. Oh--wait, you said James Bond, don’t those movies always have a,” She furrowed her brows as she tried to think of the name, it resting on the top of her tongue. “A Bond Girl!” A Bond Girl--you forgot the name of Bond Girl. “What about that? I mean, to be fair I’ve never seen a James Bond movie--am I totally off base?”

If Jack had been drinking water, he would’ve choked, “Doesn’t count in the…” he let out a nervous laugh, “There you go surprising me again, as usual.” He buried his head into Lia’s neck as she rattled out ideas of a bond girl while he tried to think through his own. Austin Powers came to mind- and while that’d be fun, he didn’t think it’d quite hit the mark like he wanted it to. The thing was… Jack was tired of them playing this game- he was tired of them dancing around the idea of a relationship or of dating. They’d been metaphorically dating for most of their lives at this point, and maybe that’s why he’d been so reluctant to truly put effort into sealing the deal because he knew it took so much to start when really… he was ready to have the white picket fence ending with Magnolia tomorrow, if he could. Jack pulled Magnolia closer to him, “Maybe not James Bond… what about… I mean, like… assassins are kinda cool, aren’t they? Or spies? We don’t necessarily need to be characters, right?” It was in that moment that he had an epiphany-, “Wait! Have you ever seen Mr. and Mrs. Smith?” Jack pulled back, a wild grin on his face, “That would be so badass.” 

“I have all sorts of tricks up my sleeve,” She grinned and kissed the top of his head as he buried his face in her shoulder. “Haven’t figured me out yet y’know.” Lia teased, her fingers absentmindedly playing with his hair as she listened to his follow up--though her mind was caught up in the idea of a couples costume--whatever they were, it was still enough to dress up in a costume that matched. But they had always done that, in some way--perhaps that was the first sign that there was clearly something more between them. Well, not the first sign--their inability to stay separate from each other was clearly number one. There would have been no shuffling in the tilt-a-whirl line if that wasn’t the case. But it wasn’t like she wanted to stay away either--as cheesy as it sounded, her world never felt more upright and normal than when she was with Jack and it made her heart skip when she thought about it. “Assassins? Oh wait--that’s the movie with Brad and Angelina, right?” Part of her was shocked that she had even seen the movie, but it had been years ago and didn��t remember much of it, except the fact they were married and….were trying to kill eachother. But they could leave that part out. Her face lit up. “No, that’s perfect. Like it’s a fantastic mix of James Bond and Bond Girl but with a twist.” She paused for a moment. “Wait--can we do that scene where they’re dancing in their fancy clothes but she also has a weapon on her thigh?” Lia had always thought that was the coolest part. “I love this idea.”

Jack couldn’t hold back a laugh, “Oh, so you’re telling me sweet little miss Magnolia Barnes wants to walk around with a gun strapped to her thigh and a cut in her dress up to her waist?” He bit his lip to bite back a bigger smile and squeezed her side, “I mean- it’s an easy costume, right?” Mr. and Mrs. Smith. He could do that- it was classy enough for a ball, but fun enough for a couple’s costume. Jack thought about the little paper ring in his bedside dresser- he’d been playing around with origami for a while and he’d made it on a whim- hoping to give it to Magnolia as a fun, whimsical gift when she needed a pick-me-up. It took a moment- a moment of Lia fumbling around with her words and Jack staring at her lips moving for him to comprehend the thoughts racing through his head. Lia. Ring. Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Couple. Costume. Ring. Lia. Ring. Mr. & Mrs. Jack sucked in a breath of air- the thought… the idea was crazy. It was… Jack knew it was possibly maybe even the dumbest thing he’d ever do or even suggest- but they’d waited so long. It was gonna happen someday, anyways, wasn’t it? “Hey… Magnolia?” Jack waited until he’d caught her eye, “You remember when our parents sat us down and told us that one day we’d be required to marry?” He remembered that day- it’d been the best day of his life- getting to marry the girl he’d been in love with for years sounded like heaven. “I know I acted like I was upset- like I didn’t want it,” Jack sucked in a deep breath. Was this going to be the conversation they’d been avoiding for months? Now? In his bed, a mess of tangled curls and twisted bedsheets? “But since then, I haven’t really thought about anything but getting to marry you. I haven’t seriously dated anyone since then- not without that thought of getting to be at the end of an aisle you get to walk down to me.” He pulled himself away from Magnolia and dug around in his bedside drawer and when he rolled back over, he held the little paper ring up between the two of them, “I guess I’m just trying to…” he paused, sucked in a deep breath, and asked, “Why don’t we just go as Mr. & Mrs. Whetstone instead? Would you marry me and give me the honor of making you my forever partner? Even more so than you already are.” 

“Maybe I’m not so sweet after all. It’s not fair if only Nic gets to have all the fun” She nudged him lightly, jumping with a laugh at his squeeze. “I mean, that’s proof enough that its definitely not something people would think I’d wear.” Lia nodded a few times--Mr. and Mrs. Smith, that was perfect. After all, she already had dresses like that...well, not exactly like that, but she could find one easily. Plus, getting to see Jack in a suit was not her idea of a bad night, that’s for sure. It was a masquerade ball too! So they’d fit right in--wow, there really couldn’t have been a better costume idea. Her mind wandered around the idea again, trying to figure out just where she was going to get a thigh holster in Chicago--and also how to put one on. Maybe she’d get Moira to help her...Blinking a few times, she heard Jack use her name and her eyes locked with his. Something was different in the way he looked at her and she chewed her lip lightly, suddenly slightly nervous. Slowly nodding as she sat up, she listened, suddenly she was immediately back in that chair, all the way in South Carolina, looking at her momma as if she was crazy--when in reality she believed this might have been the only good thing she’d ever done. Marrying Jack was the one part of her future she had never wanted to change--and finding him again reignited a slight bit of hope that maybe it wouldn’t have to. She knew it was a long time coming if that were the case, right? Right? There was...was no way--was there? Magnolia heard the words he was saying--the words that echoed exactly what she felt but it wasn’t until a small, crafted paper ring appeared between them that Lia felt herself gasp loudly. Her hand flew to her mouth as she looked at him, the ring, and him again. No, this had to be a dream--there was no way he was proposing to her--and yet… “Jack--” Her mind spun, trying to find words to complete her though, the moment rendering her speechless in the best way. “Yes!” She finally managed to say, in between laughs and sniffles. It didn’t matter to her that they hadn’t ever said they were a couple--or been on a date. Magnolia Barnes had always known what her answer would have been if he had asked her to marry him--that was a choice she had made on her own years ago and one that had not changed. “Of course--of course. I can think of no better way I’d ever want to spend the rest of my life, Jack Whetstone. No better way.” Without thinking, she pulled him into a kiss--perhaps with slightly more force than she had anticipated. “Oops,” She giggled slightly, “Sorry.”

Jack felt his heart throb in his chest- the moment of silence that lingered between the two of them as he got his words out and just before she answered felt like a million years and less than a second all in one moment. Her ‘yes!’ had him laughing, tears maybe brimming his eyes (not that he’d admit that) and he eagerly leaned into the kiss, not at all minding the way their teeth clashed together as he went. Jack pulled back after a few more kisses and hopped out of bed- he followed the movement with half a happy dance and half a pace across the room, “Okay- we gotta call Momma, I’ll call the private jet company- Vegas sounds good, right? Not that either of us would normally get married there, but that makes sense, right? We’ll find a photographer and get married tomorrow morning. Halloween. Fly back just in time for the gala and then… surprise everyone?” Jack bit his lip- while he may not have been a planner like his fiance, he still liked to have things in order. “We’ll get you a dress in Vegas. Maybe get Elvis to marry us, too?” Jack was certain that his Momma would never let him get away with only an elopement, so the idea of having fun with the first ceremony- one for just the two of them (plus his momma), was his ideal perfect day. Jack jumped back on the bed and pulled Magnolia into another kiss, “Come on’, future Mrs. Whetstone- we got a lot to do and you still gotta go see Moira.” 

A wash of utter joy spread over Magnolia’s entire being as she watched him react to her acceptance and she couldn’t help but laugh along with him--with her fiance. She wasn’t sure she could smile much wider than she currently was--but it was impossible for her not to try at that thought. Fiance. Future Husband. How long has she thought about that far off idea--and now it was here. Like really really here. “Wait--today?” Lia looked over at him pacing, blinking a few times as she caught up with what he was saying. “You mean like...like actually get married today?” The idea was--well, he was right. It wasn’t like either of them to do this and yet...it also made complete sense. Lia had just said she wanted to do something unexpected--and getting married out of the blue was pretty much the epitome of that. Though, as big of a risk as it was, it also felt like...common sense. Of course they’d get married today--how long had they already waited, in a relationship or not? For once in her life, the blonde had no reservations about this idea. Another laugh erupted from her chest and she nodded quickly. “For someone who doesn’t like to plan ahead, you sure are impressive in the moment. But yes--that sounds absolutely perfect. And honestly very easy--who said planning a wedding was hard?” She teased, kissing him back with a grin and doing her best to not get caught up in the moment again--not an easy feat. “Mmm, I’m up, I’m up--your little plan to get me out of bed worked a little too well. But go call your Momma, Mr. Whetstone, before her superpower figures it out and you’re in hot water.” Lia giggled, tugging gently on his curl as she skipped to the bathroom--there sure was a lot to do, no time to waste. 

[isauntervaguelydownwards]

Living - for lack of a better word - Daylights

Baz is almost certain about three things; one - he thinks Simon Snow is a vampire, two - he can't believe that could be true, three - no matter what, he's incredibly in love with him. 

Fill for the COC2019 day 2 prompt: role swap. Snowbaz.

Baz

There was something very weird about Snow, other than him being the ‘Chosen One’.

Whenever I even thought the words ‘Chosen One’ I heard my aunt Fiona’s derisive snort at the term, so I tried to think about it as much as possible. It felt a bit like home, even just mentally hearing the snorts.

If I didn’t know better, I would’ve said he was plotting something. I realise that that’s what he’s been saying about me for the past seven years, but there’s something about his behaviour that just doesn’t fit. Even if he was the Chosen One, receiving special training from the Mage - which seems extremely unlikely, considering the careful distance the Mage always keeps - none of it would account for the irregular disappearances Snow manages. 

He just goes up in smoke - not literally, but I wouldn’t put it past him, either - once or twice a week. The only thing I’ve figured out there’s in common all of the times is that he starts looking wan about the day before he goes missing, is gone for several hours the next day, and comes back looking - revived, for lack of a better word. 

If I didn’t know better, I’d call him a vampire. 

It fits, that’s the worst part. He’s pale as anything - I mean, yeah, he’s a redhead, but he’s paler than any human should be, redhead or not. He’s got this weird way of smiling - not that he’s ever done that in my direction, but I’ve seen him smile at both Bunce and Wellbelove plenty of times - where he keeps his mouth closed. I’ve heard of close-lipped smiles before, but I do think the saying was invented with Simon Snow in mind.

He can’t be, though. He can’t be a vampire, the very idea is ludicrous. He’s the Chosen One! No matter how ridiculous that nickname is, the fact remains that he’s very, very powerful, if having slight issues controlling that power. As if that wasn’t enough, no vampire had ever been allowed into Watford, and not even the Mage would’ve let one in, no matter how far he’s let standards fall since Mum died. 

Maybe that’s why I didn’t want to accept my own suspicions as truth. 

I just didn’t want to believe that the guy I’m head over heels in love with is a vampire, a creature like the ones who murdered my mother. It would’ve been me, too, hadn’t it been for the stomach bug I’d caught the day before. 

They’re monsters, and I don’t even want to be close to one - much less sharing a room with it. Of course, this is only idle guesswork, and the idea that Snow is a vampire isn’t even close enough to reliable that anyone, much less me, would entertain it.

Simon

I had to eat. Well, I had eaten, of course I had, but I needed to see to my ‘dietary requirements’ as Penny so nicely called it.

There wouldn’t be a deer left in the woods, much less a rat in the dungeons, soon enough. Back in the Normal world, I mostly ate cats, which probably was a major reason for me changing foster homes as often as I did. I did keep to the strays, and I hadn’t eaten a single one of my foster siblings, which I think proved a certain strength of character not many would have, much less show. 

It’s a vain way of thinking, I guess, but I have to have some pride in myself. Otherwise, I’d probably have killed myself - or at least let one of Baz’s schemes succeed. 

I’m not exactly happy or proud of my affliction, but I’ve gotten used to it by now. Maybe I’m lucky in that I lived my life in the Normal world and wasn’t exposed to all the prejudices about vampires. I probably would’ve killed myself if I had to suffer through that internalised self-hate.

Baz

He was gone again. I know I don’t have any business wondering, it’s no skin off my back, but I can’t help but be curious, anyway. Time to be proactive and do something about it, maybe. I’ve been wondering for almost seven years, I won’t let it be another one. They say curiosity killed the cat, but I’ve also heard satisfaction brought it back.

Decision made, I pulled the school blazer on and made my way out of the room I shared with Snow. A quick follow in his steps lit his metaphysical tracks up like a Christmas tree, and with a furtive glance around (and my mental - in more ways than one - aunt Fiona yelling about me to ‘act like you belong’), I hurried off. 

The tracks led down into the dungeons, which probably surprised me more than it should have. If he is actually a vampire, isn’t the dungeons so stereotypical he should avoid them on principle? 

Simon

As I drained the latest rat I’d found, I heard footsteps coming closer. 

“Shit,” I hissed to myself, hurriedly extinguishing the lit candle I carried. Penny had magicked it - light my way - so I would be the only one to see the light, but I always felt it better to be safe rather than sorry, though. Especially when it came to drinking the blood of innocent, dungeon-dwelling creatures.

Trying my best to melt into the wall, I could only watch as the flickering light of a torch approached in time with the footsteps. 

Baz

I rounded the corner, hot on Snow’s heels - quite literally. The closer I got to him, the brighter his footprints burnt, and now they were veritably blazing with proximity. When they all of a sudden ended, I also came to a stop. It was in the middle of a hallway, somewhere deep below the school - actually, it was probably somewhat close to Mum’s crypt.

Raising my eyes slowly from the floor, the torch-light following my eyes up, I caught sight of Snow’s shoes, heels pressed close to the wall. That would explain why the footprints just stopped. Trepidation made me track my eyes up Snow’s figure slower than I ever had before, and that’s saying something.

I met his gaze before properly processing what, exactly, I was seeing. He looked terrified. Scanning down his body again, I took in the whole view. His mouth was half-open, failing to contain the sheer amount of razor-sharp teeth he was currently equipped with. In one hand he held an unlit candle, smoking ever so slightly, and in the other - hovering awkwardly in the air - he held a struggling rat. 

I’m not ashamed to admit I screamed before turning on my heel and running.

Simon

Oh, shit.

Baz

My scream still echoing through the hallway, my heartbeat pounding too loud for me to hear anything else, I ran. I ran for my life, terrified of what was chasing me. Maybe that’s why I didn’t pay proper attention to where I was actually heading, not until I ran headfirst into something - someone, even. Whoever it was stumbled forwards a few steps, while I lost my footing and fell backwards. 

Once I’d gathered my bearings, shaking away the cartoon birds flying around my head, I looked up and saw, to my horror, the very thing I was running from. Simon Snow.

Simon

Scream still ringing in my ears, I slumped back against the wall I’d been trying to melt into just seconds earlier. Bringing my hand up to rub at my face made me realise I still held the rat I’d been about to eat. Scoffing, I leant down and released the rat, which ran away with a squeak. 

With a conscious effort, I retracted my teeth. I wasn’t entirely sure how that worked - I somehow grew a new set of (very sharp) teeth, but it didn’t hurt my ordinary teeth at all? Once I was done with the, well, eating living things teeth, my regular teeth came back, no harm done. Sometimes I really wanted to see another vampire, just so I could finally find out what, exactly, was normal for vampires, and what was actually my very own flavour of weirdness.

Baz’s scream had just barely gone quiet when something ran full tilt into my back. Turning the stumble into a turn, I spun around to see Baz sitting on the floor, with a whole flock of little cartoon birds flying around his head.

I crouched down in front of him, not saying anything as he managed to get his hands under him and scramble backwards. He soon hit the other wall, making a credible impression of me about five minutes earlier. His efforts to blend into the stone wall didn’t succeed any more than mine had.

It was the most un-composed I’d ever seen Baz, and it was simultaneously hilarious and a bit sad.

Baz

Had I been speaking out loud, I would’ve sounded something like:

“V-v-v-v-vampire!” 

Simon

Stuttering, too. I wonder if he was even aware he was speaking out loud? 

“I am a vampire, yes, good on you for noticing,” I said, crouching down to be more at his height. Can’t imagine having what’s apparently the nightmare of your life looming over you is all that fun. I actually felt a bit rude and quite patronising doing it, but considering Baz had spent a considerable amount of time trying - and succeeding - to get me to cry, I didn’t regret it. Much. 

The sarcasm was apparently a bit too much to take, as Baz’s fear switched - very quickly - to anger. He was angry enough that there was actually steam coming out of his ears.

“What the fuck, Snow?!” he swore, scrambling to his feet. His hands were still clutching at the wall, a death grip on the stones, but he was glaring hard enough that he’d probably manage to set me on fire by looking at me. “What the actual fuck!”

I stood up from my crouching position - he’d tower over me no matter which, but this way he couldn’t loom angrily at least - in the smoothest move I’ve ever pulled. Sadly enough the only one who’d seen it was my archenemy, so it’s not like it was to much use.

Baz

Okay, so I’ll admit I was scared shitless, but the nonchalant and almost joking way the fucking idiot spoke to me just made me very angry. Quite angry enough that it easily took over, smothering the fear with a pillow.

Just like what I was going to do to the smug Chosen One.

“What?” said the smug asshole, smugly. I absolutely was going to smother him, and I’d take great joy in it, too.

“What do you mean what! You can’t be a fucking vampire!” I insisted, torn between what my fear said I should do - cower - and what my rage claimed I should do - grab him by the lapels of the incredibly tacky school blazer he was wearing and shake him. 

“Uh…” he said, going shifty-eyed - as if he’d just now realised exactly how deep shit he was in. “I mean. I apparently can?”

“No! No you cannot, because you! You’re the fucking Chosen One! What the fuck Snow!”

“I didn’t choose to be?”

“Tough luck! You are!” I turned away from him and began pacing between the walls of the dungeon hallway. It was a wide hallway, so I could pace properly, but it was still a hallway, so I didn’t quite get the satisfaction I wanted from it. “So you can just - just stop! Stop this vampire nonsense immediately, that’s what you’re going to do.” 

Simon

Baz had an impressive way of nodding decisively, as if everything he’d just said would miraculously happen, and I’d immediately stop being a vampire.

“Baz. I’m sorry but it doesn’t work that way.” I stood silent for a long moment, just looking at him, considering exactly how honest I wanted to be. If I didn’t want this to spread all over the world, I decided I needed to be brutally honest. “Trust me, I’ve tried.”

He looked at me, in the same searching way he always did before deciding just what to say to in the shortest amount of time make me cry. In for a penny, in for a pound, I thought, deciding that I had nothing to lose by telling him.

“The only reason I’m not dead is because it’s very difficult to do something about the whole ‘alive’ thing when you actually want to live.” I shrugged and looked away from him. It was incredibly difficult to meet his eyes. 

“We’ve shared a room for the past seven years, Snow,” he said flatly. He wasn’t usually very expressive, but this was flatter and more monotone than I’d ever heard him.

Baz

For seven years, I’d slept in the same room as a vampire - the very sort of creature who killed my Mum. I’d turned my back to him, had somewhere trusted that no matter what he wouldn’t hurt me. 

I’d bullied him - almost had him killed, almost made him lose his magic. He’s a vampire, and I can’t say I’m not terrified of him.

Yet, I can’t help but love him.

He looked a bit like a drowned cat where he stood, actually, and I felt a rush of fondness for this actual disaster of a person. 

“You haven’t killed or harmed me, despite the chance - and honestly, you’ve had good reasons too. Why?”

“Well,” he said, shifting nervously from foot to foot. I levelled an unimpressed glare at him, and I could almost see him pull himself up by the bootstraps. “You see, Baz, I realise that I’m a vampire, and you’re a raging asshole, but. Well. I’ve been crushing on you since second year, and I’d even dare say I’m in love, for some unfathomable reason.”

Simon

All the ways I saw that confession going, none of them involved Baz throwing himself at me and kissing the living - for lack of a better word - daylights out of me.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Blow By Blow ch.3 (baon)

Summary: Set the day after ‘With Brotherly LV’. Jeff is having his first day working at the Embassy, Stretch is having a bad anxiety day, Red is having a bad text day, and Edge is just having a day.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Established Relationship, Prejudice Against Monsters, Angst, Injury Recovery, Hurt/Comfort, LV Issues, Brother issues

Notes: My timeline is getting a little wonky due to a few drabble sets and shorts. So this chapter directly follows With Brotherly LV

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Chapter One | Chapter Two

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Read Chapter 3 on AO3

or

Read it here!

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Two hours and another coffee later, Edge had worked his way through most of the folders and had a brief web conference with the Economics and Global Affairs. He was starting to think absently of lunch when he heard the commotion from the outer room.

It was only raised voices so far, Janice’s sharp and very likely protective. Edge couldn’t make out what she was saying, but the other voice came through the door clearly with, “…my fucking brother!”

Perfect, may as well add to the chaos of the day. It was his brother who’d taught him trying to avoid unpleasantries only led them back to haunt you. Edge pressed the intercom button. “Let him in.”

Of course Red would have to make a grand entrance. He could have teleported in and no one would have been the wiser. That meant he wanted Janice to see him, as well as anyone he passed in the hallways. Trying to fathom Red’s reasoning for the things he did was a fool’s game, but all too often it turned out that he was right.

It didn’t mean Edge couldn’t be aggravated about it.

The door opened allowing Red to shuffle in and Edge frowned. His brother looked tired. His clothes were more rumpled than normal, his jacket pulled close around the same t-shirt he’d been wearing the night before. Dark reddish circles were embedded beneath his sockets, but his endless grin was as wide as ever. That grin had stopped fooling Edge long before he’d been out of striped shirts.

“When did you get in this morning?” Edge kept the question light. It made it more likely for Red to answer than if it were a demand.

True to form, Red only shrugged. “never left last night.”

He bypassed the guest chairs, coming around the side of the desk and when he took Edge’s chin in two sharp fingers, forcibly turning his head, Edge didn’t protest. Using his injury as an excuse to manhandle him was getting to be a habit of the people around him, anyway; his own brother at least should be allowed.

Unlike any of the others, Red only studied the bruises impassively. “got you good, didn’t i. coulda given you a matching crack.”

No apologies and Edge did not expect one. Instead, he pulled away from his brother’s grip with a scoff, saying dismissively, “Not a single one of your attacks came close to the force necessary to break bone.”

“no?” Red wandered back around to flop into one of the chairs with enough force to send skittering back an inch. “might hafta try harder next time.”

It was incredibly difficult to keep from smiling at that. He shouldn’t be as darkly amused as he was; every other person he’d met today was upset by the bruise, including his husband who was likely still fuming at home. But his brother whom Edge knew loved him, who had sacrificed a great deal for him over the years in so many ways, his Underfell brother, only suggested that perhaps he should try to up the damage.

He really did love Red.

But thinking of his husband— “Where is Stretch?”

“hm?” Red’s bland confusion at the question was one of the worst lies he’d ever told. “you askin’ me about your liability? dunno, probably at your place.” His grin widened even as one sharp fingertip scraped over the wooden arm of his chair. Edge stifled a wince as he silently mourned the loss, watching curls of wood shavings fall to the floor. But demanding Red stop might tempt him into dangling answers rather than being direct, if only to be aggravating. “see, that’s a good question because it’s been a helluva morning. first, the honey bun shows up on my porch and when he sees i ain’t there, i start getting these interestin’ texts. dusting off some old threats, if you get my meaning.”

He did, all too well. Edge could have done without knowing Stretch already tried to see Red before Edge secured a promise from him and that sheer chance prevented it. Ah, the barriers against peril this morning were conspicuously thin, weren’t they.

“Let me see them.”

He didn’t hold out much hope on that and it was no surprise that Red only grinned wickedly. “nah. s’between me and him.” Red shifted to lay sideways in the chair, his feet dangling over the newly shredded arm. “your liability has a hell of a mouth on him,” Red said, contemplatively. “or fingers, i guess. does pretty good with those languages, think i learned a coupla new things. his science needs a brush up, though. some of the shit he suggested ain’t physically possible, there’s no way in hell my skull is gonna fit where he wants to shove it.”

And there was a field of landmines to tread carefully over. “He was only worried about me.”

Red slanted a glance his way, his eye lights brightening. "you think i’m mad at him?" He laughed, raucous and loud, pounding his fist on the cushioned seat as if Edge had told a joke filled with offensive references to bodily functions. “for trying to protect you? nah. he’s like a tall version of one of them little weenie dogs who thinks they're a rottweiler. thinks he can do some damage. ‘course they can still give you a hell of an ankle bite. bet your pretty little liability would give it a good ol’ try.”

There was something boastful in that, a sort of pride, Edge realized. Red was terribly smug that Stretch would try to threaten him over his own brother.

Of course he was. He was probably patting himself on the back for ‘helping’ Edge secure such a perfect spouse, the little shit.

Some of Red’s humor faded. “you, now. you might’ve stayed home.” It was mildly said but Edge knew a rebuke when he heard one. “and not just 'cause you look like a walking ad for a new fight club. he’s awful wound up about lizard lady’s tests.”

“I know,” Edge sighed. “I’m not sure why. I’m worried myself, but he’s had lower HP.” And if those thoughts were keeping Edge awake at night, a memory of the last time Stretch had been down to a base of four HP, well, he wasn’t about to bring it up.

Red sucked on his teeth loudly. “wanna know what i think?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“i think that it ain't about the tests. it’s that he thinks all this shit’s his fault.”

Edge stilled. He blinked once, slowly, breathing in against the sudden raw magic thickening in his throat.

“he’s thinkin’ about how stupid he was to use their little machine alone,” Red went on, and each word stung, “and now he’s let you down, let his bro down, let the whole world down. he’s been stewing about it for a while, i’m bettin’. he gets out of the hospital again, starts doing better, then finds out his hp’s dropped. every time he just gets that little voice in his head to shut up, here it pops up again, like some kinda nasty yo-yo remindin’ him how he fucked up.”

“and then we’ve got you here,” Red waved a careless hand at Edge’s face, “lookin’ like i belted you, and his brain latched on to that shit. this's his chance, right? all ready to protect you from your mean ol' big brother, that'll make it up to you, for sure."

"That's ridiculous, he has nothing to make up for."

Red shrugged. "didn’t say it made sense. honey bun has issues, you knew that before you ever saw what he keeps in his pants."

"I'll thank you to not talk about his pants in any capacity." But Red was wrong about one thing; it made an upsetting amount of sense. Stretch had been trying to avoid telling him about his HP from the beginning because of Edge’s reaction at the hospital. Frightening as it was, he’d kept this to himself, even dragging Red and Sans along to keep quiet about it, though that probably hadn’t taken much persuasion. All because he was afraid of making Edge angry. If this was anyone’s fault, it was Edge’s; in trying to protect Stretch from his temper, he’d hurt him deeper than he’d realized and the memory of Stretch begging him not to leave was still painfully sharp.

Enough. Assigning blame wasn’t going to help anything, but now he needed to think about what would. Point blank was not going to be effective for Stretch, that much he knew.

Red was still lying in the chair, his hands folded over his chest as he contemplated the ceiling with unnecessary interest, and the urge to needle that blatantly rude calm was nigh on irresistible. “If only you were as apt at dissecting your own issues as you are others.”

His brother only snorted loudly. “oh, i got myself all dissected, don’t you worry about me, little brother. diagnosis: complete fuck up.”

Edge shook his head, reluctantly amused. “I stand corrected. Have you seen Jeff yet today?”

The chair squeaked as Red turned his skull towards Edge, his sockets narrowed, but he accepted Edge’s reorientation, “not yet.”

“It’s his first day. He was very nervous when we drove in this morning. He’s been through a lot lately. I don’t want him worrying that if he’s a little overwhelmed, his job will be in jeopardy.”

“like you’re gonna fire him?” Red laughed with more honest amusement, “after all the work you put in gettin’ him here?”

Edge allowed a reluctant smile. “Exactly.”

“your side liability is doin’ fine—”

“Don’t call him that!”

“—they’ve had him reviewing press releases all morning, makin’ sure they sound right to a human audience. shit gets lost in the translation, sometimes. he’s not bad, got a decent eye for detail.”

“Good.” Jeff would likely discuss his first day with Stretch later, hopefully with excitement, but it was good to confirm he wasn’t struggling.

“welp, can’t say i enjoyed the chat,” Red sagged out of the chair to his feet, already fumbling into his jacket for a cigar. “fuck me, you all are exhausting.” He paused, the slender cigar clenched unlit in his teeth as he dug around for matches. “paps? you need another workout, you call me.” It was not a question and Red waited until Edge nodded. “i’ll try and avoid that pretty face next time. oh, and maybe check your phone.”

“Brother, don’t you dare…!” Edge started, irritated, as Red lit a match with a flick of his thumb, holding it to the cigar. The first foul curl of odor filled the room even as he shortcutted out, lingering behind him.

“Asshole,” Edge sighed to no one at all. That pointed little reminder would be hanging out for hours. He started to reach for another folder and paused. His phone was sitting where he’d dropped it, dark and inconspicuous, and he picked it up, unlocking the screen. The last text wasn’t from Red as he’d assumed.

i’m sorry

Edge exhaled slowly. That had been over two hours ago, and he could easily picture Stretch curled up miserably on the sofa, waiting for a reply.

His fingers hesitated over the screen, ready to type out an answer. Instead, he opened the phone app to repeat his last call. The line picked up, but there were no words, only a damp, shuddery breath. He’d been crying and Edge closed his sockets, pained.

“You don’t have to say anything, love,” Edge told him quietly. “I’m sorry, too. I know you’re worried about, well, a great deal right now. Listen to me, no matter what Alphys has to say, we’ll handle it together. I love you. We can talk about everything else later, anything you want, and I won’t try to lie about any of it. That’s a promise.”

There was no reply, and Edge considered disconnecting, giving Stretch some time to gather himself. But before he could came a single word, “wait.” Small and soft, almost too low to hear. He did, patiently, listening to hitching breaths and sniffles that ached in his soul, until finally there was a faint, “i love you, too.”

It was enough for now. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“okay.” Still too quiet, too subdued, but this time Edge disconnected the call. He held his phone a moment longer until he could force his fingers to uncurl before he broke the glass. The temptation to go directly home was difficult to resist, but he did it anyway. He needed a little time to think, to settle his thoughts and his soul. Stretch might well still be miserable and worried, but going in without a strategy was only going to make things worse.

And strategy was his strength.

His door suddenly opening caught him off-guard, halfway to forming an attack before he saw it was only Antwan, likely taking advantage of Janice getting coffee to sneak in. “Hey, can we talk a min…what the fuck happened to you!?”

Edge groaned.

~~*~~

tbc

[28screamingfrogs]

lol FUCK

may I also say on top of women having to take part in men's interests but men never wanting to voluntarily take part in women's interests, we're also made to feel embarrassed over our interests. like, watching star wars with your guy is normal! right? everyone likes star wars! star wars is cool! but getting a guy to watch pretty in pink? that girly, romcom shit? nah, never. that's embarrassing. listen to taylor swift? too girly, too lovey. keep your girly interests to yourselves. I guarantee most guys would never go and watch fuckin Pride and Prejudice just because you said you liked it, they would never think twice about it. they would never indulge in an interest unless there's something in it for them, especially if it was girly. they would never do it just to make you happy or bring you two closer together. but girls are always watching star wars, always watching game of thrones, listening to tame impala, listening to all of your hot garbage music just to be supportive. but god forbid you make the slightest effort to show ANY TINY AMOUNT OF INTEREST in your girlfriend's interests.

I may be biased bc my ex was a selfish narcissistic piece of shit and our ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP revolved around his interests, we ONLY listened to his music, only watched youtubers he liked, only the movies he liked. we barely watched movies anyway bc they're "too long" and I guess spending more then 2 hours on a couch with me was too much for him, but yet I was expected to listen to a whole ass album of every👏shitty👏artist👏he👏liked👏. i'm a huge movie buff, most of my interests involve movies, but nah they're too long. he would choose maybe two of my interests to get involved with, just so he was doing the bare minimum and tell himself he's a good boyfriend and it was only if there was something in it for him.

yea i'm biased, but there are a MILLION other men just like him out there. this video wouldn't be so popular if so many other girls didn't relate to it, if so many other women weren't dealing with the same type of men. why the fuck are y'all like this, why is it so hard for you guys to take interest in someone you love's interests. why do you have to make her feel embarrassed of her interests, why do you make her feel like she has to enjoy her interests quietly by herself because she feels that bringing them up would be pointless. that you couldn't care less about them or her. why do you make her feel like she has to hide the things she likes while constantly having to indulge in what you like. why is it so easy for you to shove your interests down her throat in every way but it's so hard for her to get you to listen to one or two songs she enjoys. why are lesbians so smart

[igottoomuchwriting]

For Forever Chapter 2

Series: First Part/Previous Chapter/Next Part

Connor Murphy: i stg if this mom doesnt chill tf out i will find where she lives and fight her

It has been a month since Connor and Evan started talking. At first, it was awkward, but slowly they broke the barrier through text messages and small conversations during English. Slowly they were learning more and more about each other.

Connor loved to read. Any book that they read as a class, Connor loved, even if it was an older one that everyone else thought was boring. One day in English, Connor had overheard a kid talking about how much they hated Pride and Prejudice and Connor started whispering to Evan about how the kid didn’t no good literature, how Lizzy was a feminist icon of the time, Darcy was the best boy and the romance was correctly written and “he was just pissy because he is a fucking white boy that doesn’t understand the hardships that women of those days have had to go through!”

He also loved TLC shows, especially Say Yes To The Dress. That was a shock to Evan, but Connor was talking about different dress one day and Evan was curious on how he knew. Connor was nervous to share, but he knew that he could trust Evan.

That’s what he was texting Evan about now. Hulu had put out new episodes and Connor was watching them while live texting Evan about everything that is going on.

Connor Murphy: SHES CRYING NOW AND THE MOM STILL WONT BUDGE

Connor Murphy: thats it

Connor Murphy: im flying to georiga. Ill see you later evan

Evan Hansen: I know you have that ability so please dont

Connor Murphy: like my parents would let me

Evan Hansen: Find something nice in Georgia that your mom would love to see. I’m sure that will get her going

Connor Murphy: well which is it hansen

Connor Murphy: should i go punch this lady in the face or no

Evan Hansen: Definite no

Evan never really was interested in those shows, but he did watch one episode to see what he loved so much about it. It was a good show, and he really did love Randy and most of the brides that came through the shop. His mom had walked in when he had it on the TV, which sparked a conversation of how they were and who Evan liked.

“You know this is a safe place, honey!” Heidi had cooed.

“I know,” Evan mumbled, looking down at the ground awkwardly.

Since then, he’s been trying to pointedly show that he likes girls, and only girls.

Connor Murphy: oh good the bride won

Evan Hansen: With Randy on her side, how could she not

Connor Murphy: true

Connor Murphy: shit

Connor Murphy: my mom is home

Connor Murphy: i have to go to my bed and pretend to get some sleep

Connor Murphy: night

Evan Hansen: Goodnight

Evan decided that he should probably go to bed too. He had a test tomorrow, and he needed to sleep so he wouldn’t freak out as much when the time came.

He quickly turned off the TV and headed back up to his room.

---

Evan did not get any sleep. Right as he was about to fall asleep, his mom came home. Since he was still delirious, he thought it was a burglar. Suddenly he was awake and on alert, ready to do what he needed to.

Without getting out of bed and drawing attention to himself, of course.

He stumbled off of the bus, shoulders slouched over and tired look in his eyes. His classmates shoved past him in a hurry to get to the cafeteria for breakfast, but Evan just slowly made his way to his locker.

“Acorn!” he heard Jared call. Evan turned around to see Jared walking towards him, same amount of confidence in his walk as he always had. His backpack was slung over his shoulder, so Evan assumed that his first period teacher is either late or has a sub who is late.

“Please don’t call me that,” Evan mumbled.

“Aw, come on! It’s a term of endearment. All fun and games, ya know?” He threw his arm over Evan’s shoulder and they continued the walk to their locker. “It’s a playful jab at a silly mistake you made.”

Evan’s hand shot to his cast, holding onto it gently.

Yeah. A silly mistake.

“I’m gonna come over today after school. My mom’s been wondering why we haven’t been hanging out lately.”

“Oh. Uh, okay.”

“You still got Mario Kart, right?” Evan nodded his head. It was the last gift his dad had gotten him before he left, and even though Evan is not fond of his dad, he still tries to hang on to when life was good.

“Cool! Then we can play that today!” Evan just nodded his head again and opened up his locker. Jared continued to talk about a girl--or the same girl that he met over the summer, he doesn’t know anymore--and Evan turned his head to the side to see Connor at his locker. He was slouched over and seemed to be angrily putting stuff into his backpack.

“Sorry, uh,” Evan spoke, interrupting Jared’s sentence, “I’m gonna go talk to Connor.”

“Really?” Jared turned to look at Connor as threw a book into his locker. He flinched. “I don’t think you wanna talk to that dude right now. He seems like he is in a bad mood.”

“That’s why I wanna, um, talk to him.” He started playing with the bottom of his t-shirt. “I want to see if he’s okay.”

“Your funeral, man,” he said with a shrug. He gave Evan one last violent pat on his shoulder before walking away.

Evan closed his locker and took a deep breath. Connor hasn’t been in a super bad mood since they started talking, so Evan was worried if Connor would even want to talk to him or not.

“Hey Connor,” he mumbled. Connor whipped his head around and shot a glare at Evan.

“What?” he snapped. Evan took a step back and looked down at the ground.

“Well you seem like you’re in a bad mood so I wanted to come over and see if you’re okay but you barely know me so I don’t know why you would even want to talk to me about it. I’m sorry I should’ve have even come over, I’ll leave, I’m sorry,” Evan stuttered out. All his words started blending together and he was stumbling over his words.

Connor sighed and hit his head against the top of the locker.

“No, I didn’t mean to snap at you. You did nothing wrong.” Evan glanced up at him before looking back down.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me,” he mumbled. Connor was silent for a moment. Evan was just about to turn around and leave him alone when he started talking.

“My parents took my fucking phone last night because they didn’t believe that I was texting someone other than a fucking drug dealer. I told them that no goddamn drug dealer would be answering fucking calls at that hour because they were trying to act like normal fucking people but they took my phone anyway!” He slammed his locker closed and Evan jumped. “They don’t believe a fucking thing I say and it pisses me off because I was actually telling the truth this time!”

Evan looked around the hallway and saw people giving Connor both confused and dirty looks. He didn't know what to do. Jared never came to him for emotional things, and since Jared has been his only friend growing up, he never had anyone else come to him for anything. The closest that he has come to comforting someone was when he walked in on his mom having a breakdown, but even then she turned it around and made sure that he was okay.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “That’s--That, um, sucks.”

“Understatement of the fucking century,” Connor grumbled.

The first bell rang, signaling that students have five minutes to get to class. Connor turned towards the doors at the end of the hallway.

“Wait, where are you going?” Evan anxiously called.

“Anywhere but fucking here.” With that, he was gone.

Evan watched Connor’s dark figure disappear around the corner outside, wondering if he should tell someone. What was Connor going to do? Would he hurt someone?

Would he hurt himself?

“Get to class, Mr. Hansen!” Evan heard a teacher call. Evan looked behind him to see Ms. Asher--the English teacher that no one liked--raising an eyebrow at him. Saying nothing, Evan moved on to his first class.

---

Evan hasn’t seen Connor all day. It was lunch time now and the boy still wasn’t here. Since they started talking more, he and Connor started sitting together at lunch. Connor never ate anything, and Evan did try, but sometimes his anxiety became too much and he just couldn’t stomach what the school was giving him. During those days, Connor tried his best to calm Evan down enough to where he would get Evan to each at least some bland tater tots.

That wasn’t the case today. He sat alone in the corner of the cafeteria, untouched food in front of him.

It’s not like he wasn’t used to this. Jared would never sit by him, always opting to work on programming by himself and not be seen with Evan, and since he had no other friends, he was pushed to the corner of the room.

Evan was deep in thought when he heard a voice.

“Evan Hansen?” Evan snapped his head up, only to freeze when he saw Zoe Murphy standing there, kind smile on her face.

“Oh, uh, yeah. That’s me,” he stuttered out. How long has she been standing there? Was she just waiting for Evan to notice her?

“Sorry to bother you, but can I ask you a question?” Oh okay, straight to the point. Evan wiped his palms on his jeans.

“Yeah! Yeah, of course.”

“Are you and my brother friends?” That’s not what he was expecting.

Are they friends? He doesn’t know if Connor considers Evan a friend, but does Evan?

“Uh, yeah,” he drew out. “Yeah, I guess.”

Zoe raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. She looked around the lunch room before sitting down across from Evan.

Oh God.

“Do you guys text?”

“Yeah, why?” Did something happen? Why would she need to know if they texted?

“Were you guys texting last night?”

“Yes?” Evan was about to have an anxiety attack. Did Connor tell her? Did Connor spill everything that Evan told him? Is Zoe making sure that this is the Evan Hansen that he is talking to so that she can go around and tell everyone?

“Okay,” she mumbled. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry for asking these questions, but Connor got his phone taken away yesterday and my parents wanted to see if who he was texting went to our school.”

“Oh.” Great, so Connor’s parents read their text messages? There was private stuff in there. He hasn’t even met these people and they already know his fears? Did Connor delete the texts he sent when he was having a mental breakdown?

“I haven’t seen the messages!” she quickly added. “My parents only asked if I knew the name ‘Evan Hansen’ and so I wanted to make sure it was you.”

“Okay,” he mumbled. They sat in a silence for a moment, neither knowing what to say.

Zoe broke the silence.

“When did you two start talking?” The questions continue.

“About a month ago?”

“Why?” Well that’s not going to be shared. How would Evan even say that? Yeah, you’re brother stole something of mine and flipped out on me but I was able to calm him down and get it back and now we are basically becoming best buds!

No.

“He, uh, wanted to apologize for getting mad at me in the hallway on the first day of school.” That was kind of the truth.

“And you guys kept talking because…?”

“He was nice.” Zoe immediately rolled her eyes. Oh no. Did he say something wrong?

“He’s not nice, Evan.”

“Wh-What?”

“He’s a druggie who will turn on you when you make one little mistake.” Evan stared at Zoe in disbelief. Here is Connor’s sister, who is known for being happy and helping others, staring at Evan with an angry look in her eye. She’s spending her time, giving Evan a warning.

“He--I don’t think--would he really?”

“He’s done it to me countless times.” Before Evan could say anything else, she stood up. “I’m not telling you what you should do. I’m just warning you that my brother is a loose canon.” With that, she left.

Evan stared at the spot she had just occupied. Zoe has obviously been with Connor her whole life and she knows more than Evan. If she is giving him a warning, he should listen.

Shouldn’t he?

---

When it was sixth period, Evan didn’t know what to do. Surprisingly, he didn’t have any homework to do for that day. He didn’t want to write a letter to his therapist either, as the only thing that happened today was talking to Zoe.

He decided to walk home. It was the last period of the day, and no one was going to be waiting for him. He also wanted to make sure his house was clean before Jared came over.

Evan didn’t get far off of campus before a truck pulled up next to him. With his headphones in, he didn’t hear the driver call out to him. He did hear the car horn, however.

He whipped his head to see Connor sitting in the truck, looking at him threw the passenger window. He quickly pulled out his headphones.

“Connor?” he asked.

“Get in, Hansen.” Evan didn’t question, he just walked across the grass dividing the street and the sidewalk and into Connor’s car.

Connor pulled out into the road before Evan could buckle his seatbelt fully.

It was silent between the two. Evan wanted to know where Connor went in the beginning of the day, if he was doing better, if he was okay in general.

“I didn’t mean to flip out on you earlier,” Connor stated.

“I know,” Evan mumbled. It was silent again. You would think after talking for a month, they would be a little better at talking to each other.

Evan watched all the trees go by. The radio was playing in the background, and the sky was blue with only a few clouds. Always a little strange for October weather.

“Have you ever been to the orchard?” Connor asked. Evan shot him a confused look.

“What orchard?”

“So I’ll take that as a no.”

“Where is it?” Evan asked.

“Well, it’s closed now, but it was almost like a forest reserve for people to go to. You could have picnics, there was a creek, all that fun stuff.” Evan hummed.

The rest of the car ride was filled with small talk. At some point, they had gotten onto the topic of bands they liked, and it blew up from there.

“You’ve never heard of Hollywood Undead?” Connor laughed. “How the fuck have you not?”

“They’re not a very popular band, obviously,” Evan shot back. Connor turned to him with a look as if he had personally attacked Connor’s work himself.

“They are popular!”

“Sure, Connor.”

“You shut the fuck up, Mr. ‘Taylor Swift is a better country singer than pop’.”

“Well, she is--”

“You have no taste.”

It wasn’t long before they reached where Connor was taking them. Evan looked around as Connor turned off the car and saw trees everywhere, as well as a gate with a sign that said “NO TRESPASSING”.

“Uh, what are we, uh, doing here?” Evan asked.

“We’re gonna walk around.”

“W-Wait, what?”

“Come on, Hansen,” Connor called, ignoring the panic rising in the boy. He hopped out of the car and Evan quickly followed, leaving his backpack in the car.

“We can’t go in!” he called out. Connor rolled his eyes.

“Trust me, it’s fine.”

“What if someone finds us? What if they see your car and come searching and then we get in trouble? What if we get arrested? I can’t have my mom bail me out of jail, and your parents won’t--”

“Evan!” Connor yelled. Evan immediately stopped talking. “It’s fine. I come here all the time. I was just here earlier, and no one found me. No one even thinks about this place anymore.”

Evan nodded his head in understanding and looked down at the ground. He heard Connor take a deep breath.

“Just… Come on. You can trust me.”

Evan followed Connor to the fence. Right under the trespassing sign was a cut part of the fence that looked like it was able to be pushed back. Connor pushed the fence piece back and held it open, motioning for Evan to make his way through.

Evan made it on the other side, careful with his cast, and Connor followed suit. Evan looked around in amazement. How come this place was abandoned?

“This place got closed down after they opened up the park as a national park,” Connor answered his unasked question. “Apparently people feel like going to a national park would be more fun than an orchard, even though it’s the same fucking thing.”

Connor stared walking into the trees and Evan was quick to follow.

It was gorgeous. It was a surprise that he has never seen this place. His mom and dad would always love to take them out and show him the nature, the flowers, the birds. It was a big part of his life, and a big reason why he loved trees. Participating in the Junior Ranger program was a way for him to try and go back to those times.

Happier times.

“So homecoming’s coming up,” Connor stated. “You going?”

“Well, uh, probably not?” Those kind of things were never Evan’s thing.

“Even if a cute girl asked you out?” Connor laughed as Evan blushed. The only girl Evan would even want to ask him out is Zoe, but after their conversation, he has been questioning his relationship with her.

“If someone asked me out, that’d be a shock in itself.”

Connor laughed. “Fair enough.”

“What about you?” Evan asked. “You going?”

“No. No way.”

“Not even if a girl asks you?”

“There’s no girl that could make me go to any dance.” Evan hummed.

“What if your crush asked you? There is a girl you like, right?” Connor gave him a side look and coughed.

“Yeah. A girl…” He didn’t say anything after, and Evan didn’t want to push it, so they fell back into silence.

“We’re here.” Evan gave him a confused look.

“Wait, where?”

“Look.” Evan looked anxiously at the space past the trees Connor motioned to before walking forward.

Past the trees was a big open grass field, surrounded by trees. The wind was blowing the long grass gently and the sun was peeking out from behind the threes, just getting ready to set for the night.

Evan was in shock. This place was gorgeous.

“I assume you like it?” he heard Connor call.

Evan shook his head. “Connor, this--this is amazing! How did you find it?”

“I was just walking around one day and stumbled upon it.”

Evan stared at the whole place. Connor watched him with a smile.

“You said you like to climb trees, right?” Connor asked. Evan stiffened up.

“Um, yeah,” he stuttered out.

“Come on. There’s a tree with really low branches.” Connor started walking away towards a tree that Evan saw stuck out from the rest. It was slightly out of the circle of trees, and Evan understood why Connor chose that one. The branches are definitely lower than the others, and easier for the boys to reach.

“I--I don’t think I can climb right now,” Evan called towards him. Connor turned and gave him a confused look.

“Why not?” Evan just held up his cast. Connor looked at for a second before realization hit. “Fuck, that’s right. I’m a fucking moron.”

“Sorry,” Evan shrugged.

“Why are you sorry?”

“You wanted to climb the tree, and I can’t.” Connor sighed and shook his head.

“That’s not your fault, man.” Evan nodded his head and decided not to say anything else.

His phones started buzzing in his pocket. He quickly pulled it out to see who is was.

It was Jared.

“Shit,” he mumbled under his breath. Connor was next to him now, looking down at his phone.

“Kleinman? What does that fucker want?” Evan opted to not comment on Connor’s obvious hatred of Jared.

“I forgot I was supposed to hang out with him today.” He hit answer and turned away.

“Evan! Where are you?”

“I’m sorry, I was walking home but Connor wanted to hang out--”

“Connor? Connor Murphy? You’re with him right now?”

“Yes, I’m sorry, I am headed back right now--”

“Did he kidnap you or something, dude? You guys never hang out outside of school. I never even thought the guy was stable enough to do something.”

Evan anxiously shot a look at Connor, but he was picking at his nail polish, so Evan was sure he didn’t hear Jared.

“He can. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I’m heading back now. Just go inside, I’ll be home soon, ignore the mess.”

“Whatever you say dude. Bye.”

With that, Jared hung up. Evan turned back to Connor, fiddling with his phone.

“I’m sorry Connor, can we--”

“Yeah, we can go back.” Connor clipped. Evan flinched. He looked down at the ground anxiously.

“Sorry, this was fun, but--”

“I know,” Connor forced a smile across his face. “You and Jared had plans. Nothing wrong with that.”

Connor started walking away, and Evan couldn’t help but get the feeling that Connor was truly upset.

He quickly followed Connor back to his car and tired to calm down his anxiety.

“Thank you for taking me here,” Evan said when they got back into Connor’s truck.

“Yeah. We can come back.” Evan looked down to hide a smile.

Connor actually wanted to hang out with him again. Hang out, in public, for no reason other than to hang out with Evan.

Is this was real friendship is like?