#anyway i guess they're more than fake aunts now

[queryxecho]

╳

Send X for Q or E to take a bullet for you // Still Accepting @bxrningblack ilu

Cassie did warn them about the East End. And now they knew why. All those missing people. They had to admit, it was pretty ingenious of the Deacon. Who missed the transients in Gotham? The Mayor had been bragging about how the homeless “problem” seemed to be on the mend. They wonder if he knows how the “Angels” of the city were fixing it. They really wouldn’t be surprised if he did. 

They didn’t plan on running into the scared teenager while snooping. These tunnels are hard even with their blueprints. Not to mention, there seemed to be a whole section not even on the map. And they really didn’t mean to get her in trouble. Nina barely registered the younger redhead’s eyes dart to the side with fear before moving to shove her to the side. The gunshot from one of the Angels followed by two of Diedre’s own. 

“Fuck!” High pain tolerance or not, any hit to the shoulder hurt like hell. Nina gripped pressure to the aching wound, grimacing. She stayed standing, firmly keeping herself between a shaky Cassie and what she was sure was a body behind them. Dee was a good shot, but damn if all of their ears weren’t fucked from the tunnels echo.

“Cassie? It’s okay. Lookit me, sweetie.” it was better than the alternative. Things were shaking. And even if Cassie never admitted it to herself, they needed her to calm down to keep it from escalating. “It’s okay. We know this wasn’t you. We know why you didn’t say.” Who would have believed her? Not when the media had been praising the work no matter the cost. No one would have listened to a teenager with so much to hide. The rumors weren’t new. It’s just that people were okay with this method of “cleaning up”, even if they wouldn’t admit it aloud. Though, plenty had openly admitted it to the few news anchors who DID try to look at the rumors. 

“This. Wasn’t. Your. Fault. We saw the bodies. You were never going to be able to stop anything that made a pile that high.” Cassie’s hell was a real, tangible place that they finally understood. “You were never going to be able to stop that alone without doing something you might regret.” 

Diedre used the ripped bottom of her shirt to start wrapping her beloved’s shoulder, sharing a look that they needed to move. That echo would travel. Fighting a horde of Angels was the last thing they needed tonight. 

“You’re not what he says,” Nina pleaded, putting a bloody hand on Cassie’s shoulder. “You’re not evil. You’re not bad, Cassie. It’s okay to be angry. You know very well what righteous vengeance can really look like. Even if you are a witch, you don’t deserve destruction. Those were lies. Just like everything else. I know a part of you knows this. It’s the tiny voice in you that doesn’t sound like HIM.” They know it’s in there. They’ve seen her talk. To Lonnie, to Robins, not all of her believes. 

“Come on,” Diedre cooed, taking the girl’s other hand to gently pull her along with them. “I promise. It’s gonna be okay. We can help you figure it out. You don’t have to figure out anything tonight other than coming with us. We can go see Althea, and then Nina’ll be good as new, yeah? And in the morning, you don’t have to do anything either, because you’ll be with us, and you’ll be safe.”

[corvidae-corvus]

My Spider-Man & Batman Fanfic (WIP) #4:

Omg I just realized that since Aunt May is literally a nurse she could be the first link to the Batfam.

So I've been having trouble deciding on how the Parkers and Batfam would first meet. Like...how they would meet, why, where etc. What reasons would the Batfam would want to know more about them. I finally figured some of it out.

The first reason I feel like it would be mentions of Dick walking around the city. Then they would meet Richard Parker and just assume he's a doppelganger. (When two people who are unrelated look exactly alike.)

Then like 2 weeks later, there'll be evidence of 2 people breaking into Wayne Enterprises or something similar. 2 weeks after that they're seen again and they're inconsistently breaking into rich people's companies etc.

Now 2 months after the Parkers arrive in Gotham, one of the Batfam is incredibly hurt and can't communicate with the rest of the Batfam. They're hurt and are in need of medical assistance. That's where May comes in! And guess what she conveniently has a whole med room ready and prepared to help them. She helps them and while they're passed out or something and when they wake up, they're a little confused but they like May. (I don't know who gets hurt, either Tim, or Jason. I'm leaning towards Jason since May's gonna be in crime alley and all that but I also would not mind Tim.)

Now why does may have a whole med bay set up? And how? Well like a month after they arrived in Gotham, they all managed to find each other. Peter is discovered last and they all obviously know that he's Spider-Man. (they have some memory of Peter's life. Not a lot but they all know that he's Spider-Man. Should I keep it that way or change it?)

Peter wants to go back to being Spider-Man and they need to stock up on Items. Mary and Richard are in charge of gathering supplies (stealing) and Peter isn't allowed to join since it could jeopardize his identity before it's even revealed. They know that the Batfam is onto Richard and May.

Now whether or not Peter joins later on or does his own runs, idk. But that's for future me to decide on.

So because the supply runs May gets her own medical equipment, and decides that she's going to help the people of Crime Alley get the medical attention they deserve. Also she wants to bring back F.E.A.S.T.

So may is gonna be a Charity worker/organizer/founder of F.E.A.S.T. by day and the nurse of the fucking underworld by night! Ok I'm kinda exaggerating but what I mean is that she will be an illegal nurse during the night ( idk who will be on stand-by during the end of Peter's patrol, but I was thinking that the rest of the family would, maybe Ben.) She would help anyone in need, that includes the VILLAINS!! This would be interesting since she died in an explosion that was caused by one of the people she tried to help (green goblin). I feel like she'd have a bit of trouble with the villains. She'd help them but she'd be really scared while doing so and maybe a little angry. She died and I want to explore that part of her character. Peter would definitely object to her becoming like an illegal Nurse but gives in to her because he loves her very much and wants to support her. He's just constantly worried about her.

Anyways I was also wondering if there are any canonical "illegal nurses" that are in Gotham. I've read fics where there is a nurse that Jason, or the rest of the Batfam go to when things get rough on patrol and the nurse/doctor is a civilian. Maybe they can be friends with May!!

Anyways this will obviously get May investigated. And boom! She has documents and stuff! Now I feel like the Batfam won't realize that the info is fake for awhile. Since Peter's parents are literal spies and they're pretty damn good at making a whole new identity without getting caught (my head cannon) and Peter's intelligence is crazy. He's also like 20 here he's definitely smarter now than when he was a teenager. And he had Ned and Tony teaching him how to hack. Now I feel like Barbara is the better hacker but I need the plot to slow down sooo....

I need to think more on this later. Anyways yea! This is like a part of May's Story that I would want to write!

Hope you enjoyed it! If y'all have any questions you can ask me about it! Maybe even give me some ideas if ya want! This is all just a WIP and I honestly I am not gonna start this fic for a while...but Everytime I post the story gets more and more coherent. Lol.

[dragon-age-codex-entries]

Codex entry: The Mason's Tales: The Archdemon

"I gather this one is titled "The Archdemon." Not "The Three Archdemons," and I'll get back to that. Good construction here. A nice balanced carving, if you consider Tevinters to have equal weight to the dragon's arse. Not a bad comparison, you ask me.

Seven magisters and some easy symmetry to give a host something to sound smart about after dinner. If I had to guess, they'd go on about how four lines, and four magisters, are part of the dragon and favored. Two lines are piercing it, so they do more damage than good. And one, that big one farthest out, has missed the thing completely. If this was carved around the Third Blight, that gets you three heads. Doesn't matter, those are all shallow details, probably followed by "and it speaks to me because my soul something regret whatever."

Now, the first thing those spits don't understand is that carving isn't just what you see. They've never made a physical thing and don't know the how of it. Depth is all tricks of shadow and such; the actual cuts are only as deep as the sculptor wants. And if you take a flat edge to this thing, what she wanted is strange. Because what I'm thinking is that this is one Archdemon and the three heads are the reaction to the three lines. Because piercing-line-one is on the same tier as the Tevinter second from left, and the middle head turned away. Piercing-line-two is the same tier as Tevinter fifth from left, and the first head turned away. And the line that misses it, that's the same tier as the big Tevinter, farthest out. And the dragon is looking straight at him. So the ones who did damage, the dragon doesn't care. The one who faked it, the dragon gives him an eyeful.

Now, add to that: artists like to hit big targets, but this carving has no faces. If she wanted to carve specific people, they'd be there, she has that skill. So, what if she's not after the magisters, she's carved Tevinter itself? You've got four ages of the empire where they're part of the dragon, two where they damage it, and one where they miss the point entirely and it gets them eaten. Think about it too much, and I bet you could come up with five different ways match their calendar, including your favorite aunt's birthday.

So, there you go. That's how to go from "balanced" to "not invited next time." At my house, anyway."

[unhookedcandles]

I'm sure that someone else has talked about this, but I just went out to lunch with my aunt who is a long-time special ed teacher and I was complaining about some of the crazy parents that I had to deal with in my clinical placements and I showed her this super long email I sent to one of the moms where I clearly explained to her exactly why I was doing what I was doing and she didn't listen to a single thing I was saying. My aunt looked at it with knowing eyes and said "You can't fight crazy with logic." I laughed but it's been a few days now and I can't stop thinking about how relevant that is, not just in my life, but in politics rn too.

You can't fight crazy with logic.

My dad is a smart man, but he grew up poor and white and worked his way through college so he very much has eaten the lies that the US has fed to him about social mobility. He believes that if he can do it anyone can do it, and he did do it, so it is difficult for him to understand why other people can't do the same. But he's a smart man, and his beliefs are evidence-based (his evidence in this case being himself) so the best way to combat his logical beliefs are with logic. He didn't understand why immigrants didn't just come in to the country legally, which is not a completely illogical thought. Due to many factors (he's white, he's not a reader, he's not super politically engaged, he's nice but not prone to giving people the benefit of the doubt) his mind does not go to looking for the barriers that would prevent people from applying legally. However, the fact that he doesn't look for these barriers isn't him not believing that these barriers exist, and as I said he's a logical man. I showed him the John Oliver video about how difficult it is for asylum seekers to even try to apply for asylum to the US, the way that they have to download apps and the apps don't work, and the way that the system is broken from the start. He saw the evidence-- people weren't applying legally because they couldn't apply legally. And so he changed his mind. He didn't like transgender athletes competing because he thought it was unfair. He thought he knew the evidence (boys are taller than girls, I guess was his evidence) and made his determination. I showed him the interviews of cis female athletes with high testosterone that were barred from running track events and the debunking of that one girl who claimed to be the fastest girl in Connecticut or what the fuck ever and he changed his mind.

You can't fight crazy with logic.

Some beliefs, however, are not based in logic. There's no logic to the q-annoners who think that JFK faked his death or that Trump is sending them mysterious messages to decode through his tweets (or whatever they call his not-twitter bigot platform messages). There is no number of interviews and well-researched articles I can show them that can make them change their mind. Their beliefs are rooted in this fear that they're losing the protection that their whiteness grants them, fear that progress is already happening and leaving them behind. Their fear is not valid but it is a real emotion.

Anyway, I hate when American leftists automatically write conservatives off as stupid or act like ignorance is a permanent state of being. Not only is it arrogant to think that leftists are the only people who are able to think critically about things, but it also isn't true and it's completely discounting the thought processes of approximately half the country (not even considering the thoughts of conservatives all over the world). There are a lot of people out there whose conservative beliefs stem from logic, and the best way to begin change is to fight their logic with more logic. Is showing my dad a video about how fucked up the asylum process is in the US going to make him share my beliefs about the fact that no human is illegal (especially on stolen land)? Maybe not, but it is the first step for sure. Not doing this first step because you believe that all conservatives are irredeemably stupid is not helping anyone or any cause.

I'm not saying that this will work with the q-annoners because you can't fight crazy with logic. They need something else, whether that's community or deprogramming, I'm genuinely not sure. But I think that thinking all people that don't share your viewpoints are automatically illogical isn't helping anything at all

[nev-valkyriesdottir]

It was the night of my fifth birthday... Ironically they had told me my fifth birthday would be very special for some reasons... But anyways that I got woken up by the sound of sword slashing. And it was normal for me, I mean my parents were always into vikings stuff I just thought they were playing you know....

*sits on a chair in the kitchen* Turns out they weren't... I heard my mother's screams first as they stabbed my father, then I saw her fall on the ground too... And then they just- t-they left. The people who killed my parents just left the house, not even looking back at me, leaving me there. Because they didn't even know I existed.

My parents were always very careful, my early childhood was spent in an isolated house in the North of France. There wasn't any proof a kid existed in the house. No toys, no pictures, no colouring books or stuff like that. Just the kind of stuff adluts would like, sciences, information, litterature... Even if you entered in my room there wasn't anything that would indicate it was the room of a child but the plushies on my bed.

Now let's not get that wrong, I always thought it was normal to do so and my parents made a good choice. Or else I would probably be dead, or they would probably be alive, but most likely not.... Anyways, they were taken from me when I expected it the less. I was promised an unforgettable birthday.... Turns out it was *bittersweet laugh*

On the kitchen table there was a letter. I was able to read so yeah, turns out they knew this would happen. They knew my grandfather would send some men after them on that precise date somehow and they just, they never told me. It wasn't that important I guess. But yeah whatever. They died because they were in love with each other, the daughter of the sea and a fire faerie loving each other wasn't a good exemple for the world I guess...

H-had to clean the blood of my parents and all, the give them proper funerals. Alone. I knew no one and no one knew I existed so yeah. I educated myself, a worked on my combat skills, my intelligence, I worked enough to know that I could survive with whatever my parents had left for me. Which was more than enough.

Then I went on a killing sprea, killing anyone that worked for my grandfather. I thought it would help me grief *fake excited voice* flash news it didn't! So when I stood in front of my grandfather, Njord by the way, I guess he recognized the feature of the daughter he had killed because guilt was all over his face. Pleaded for my forgiveness for killing my parents, I stab his eyes in return....

Then you know the rest of the story... I went on to continue my education alone and I did what I thought I never could. I found you. And I mean I found you all. I found my mama and papa, and Lee, and Jonny, and Iyla, and now Cecily, got some annoying siblings, wonderful aunts and cousins and uncles I.... I found a family.... Some people I could never ever feel alone around, some people who, like me, had to endure life in such a way no body understands but us even with different stories...

But HYDRA they- they keep on messing this up *teary eyes* First it was T, and then they took her. They took Iyla when I wasn't even here and if I were I could have done something to stop it- I could have- I could have changed it! And they went on with Jamie and Lee and they're taking everyone back... And I can't even do anything about it... I'm s-so powerless! A-and I thought that during all these years of training I would have learn something, how to protect the ones I love but I just... I fail every single time Aunt Peggy... I fail at the only thing I've been working on all my life

*crying* A-and every nights when I close my eyes I see the blood... I- I hear the screams, the sword hitting each others but I can't move... And I see them taking everyone away from me- a-and I find myself unable to make a single move- I just- watch you all...

*stayed the night at your house* *knock at your door in the middle of the night* *peaking throught your door*

*quietly* *still quite tired* Momma... Are you awake ?

@nevaeh-daughterofvalcarol

*rolls over* Nevaeh? What’s wrong? *standing up**pulling on her robe*

[sometimesoliloquy]

The Handmaid’s Tale 5x05 “Fairytale”👀

So we have 2 major storylines: June and Luke's ill-advised bowling date, and the miseducation of Ms. Serena as a late in life handmaid-in-waiting. Shout out to the brief but delightful subplot that involved Moira and Lily getting drunk and shit talking, I would totally ship them. I apologize in advance for the snark this quickly devolved into, there may have been wine involved.

We begin with Serena descending down a long staircase, to greet the martha housekeeper at the bottom (wonder where we've seen this before?). I will say, although the Serena/June handmaid parallels this episode are heavy handed—from the stairs and the green juice healthy breakfast to the flashbacks to the very layout of Serena’s room(!)—I actually didn’t really mind because every scene and detail screaming at us that the handmaid's chunky brown boot shoe is now on the other foot was just kind of karmically delicious. Of course Serena still thinks she has power here (at least at first), as she is wont to delusionally believe, demanding requesting to speak with the Commander Mr. Wheeler. Silly Serena, don't you know the menfolk are very very busy with man business? They don't have time for your foolish female prattle! She's able to briefly forget this rejection and her probable indigestion from that smoothie, as Mrs.Wheeler presents her prized pig guest to her gaggle of wanna be Gilead wife friends, who fawn over Serena and her big belly, to her great satisfaction. It's like a good old fashioned Gilead fake labor show but better! (or is it.... guess we'll have to wait and see)

We flash back in time to see Serena and Naomi sauntering their new teal heels through the sterile hallways of an animal children's shelter: they browse the strays through the observation windows but can't quite imagine adopting a mutt into their home, you never know if they're properly house-trained and anyway, they were thinking more of a purebred (they know a breeder). So wonderful we saved these poor children from their ungodly parents to be put in fitting homes!...oh dear, not my home though. Imagine. Serena asks Naomi if she's been approached about a handmaid yet like she's inquiring if she's been asked to prom. Naomi isn't going to prom does not want a whoreful adult stray handmaid in her house any more than she wants one of these illbread brats poor children. She has white couches, for godsake! This scene cemented my suspicion that Naomi 100% never wanted children to begin with. Honestly I felt like this scene was also kind of a irl commentary on the sad fact of so many foster children in need of love and family, especially older kids, too often viewed as "undesireable" or "damaged" Of course there’s the small matter of Gilead causing huge damage to these kids by stealing them, literally traumatically ripping them from the arms of loving parents and families in many cases (which sadly does also sometimes mirror real life). Have to also call out the easter egg throw out line about Chicago rebel forces "they’ll be put down soon”... bitch, we know they’re still fighting like 6-7 years later, so.

Later we see Serena sitting down at Aunt Lydia's trafficking fertility office to pick out a handmaid from their Gilead mugshots. She doesn't look so excited about the prospect anymore at this point (methinks things might be getting strained with Fred at this point, I guess the Gilead honeymoon is over). Anyone else pause their tv to go look super close/upside down at the Handmaid’s files to see if June was in the bunch (or anyone else we know) and also to try and get a glimpse of the first unfortunate “Offred”? Just me? I actually thought the first file she picked up (who also caught Mr. Waterford's eye) looked like June upside down but upon seriously straining my neck was able to determine it was not (then I remembered I could just screenshot and rotate). Maybe Fred really did have a type, though. Ann Dowd’s physical/face acting as Lydia watches over Serena’s shoulder really cracked me up here.

(guess that’s poor nameless Offred the first on the right)

It's time for Serena's business call and Mrs. Wheeler leaves her alone because she couldn't possibly wrap her little woman brain around all that business talk (I kind of love how she manages to fawn over Serena while at the same time throwing shade, it's masterful--or deranged--or both). Joseph gets his first one-liner of the episode in “….You think the Gilead information center... focusing on Gilead... is a mistake?” and of course it's hilarious but fuuuck, he and I may both hate to admit that she’s right, fertility is definitely the best spin Gilead could go with in this fucked up limited supply baby crazy world. Unfortunately for her, it’s once again slipped Serena's mind that Gilead hates women, and she gets a swift buh-bye from creepypants Putnam, who by the way keeps getting creepier by the day. Are they purposely putting pasty corpse-like makeup on that poor actor? Random aside, I wonder if the actor is also like a really nice guy who volunteers and saves puppies or something, like how the cast always would say that Joseph Fiennes is just the loveliest person. Anyway, here we get the first mention of Joe’s pet project New Bethlehem, which Warren promptly shits on. Despite JLaw remaining pretty steadily neutral evil so far this season, I actually felt something from him when he said  “or all of this…will have been for nothing”. His motivations lately have felt a bit ambiguous to me, but I did here feel that maybe he really does desperately need it all to mean something: otherwise it means he will have lost Elinor for nothing.

We end Serena' episode arc with the long awaited welcome from Mr. Wheeler, as she prays dutifully at her bedside for everyone to realize how special and smart and superior she is. Even her room here is uncannily reminiscent to me of June’s room at the Waterfords, down to the placement of furniture, window/window seat and door in the same spot (but like a super lux version). I looked away for like a second at the beginning of this next part and when I looked back did a double take because for a split second when he was silhouetted in the doorway I thought wut, NICK?? (I MEAN)

 until I remembered we are being cruelly deprived of our boy for two long episodes. Can't even say for sure it's because they have a similar build in the dark from behind or if I was just that desperate to see him. Anyway. Then I did another double take because I know this actor from this random 1 season show where he plays a character working at a renaissance faire, and that is not relevant at all here except that I don't know how I'm supposed to take him seriously as a villain now when I know him for shirtless slap fighting in mud and going by the moniker "Sir Pizzle Humpsalot" (it's kind of like when I realized Val from "Working Moms" was one of the very serious Swiss "go-between" people who fuck over refuse to work with Nick and June in s2). So Mr. Pizzler Whizzler gives a nice little condescending speech during which she--and we--get it drilled once again into our/her heads that Serena will not be continuing with her absurd working woman ambitions, because what is important now is her womb and its contents and that these contents are kept safe so that they can be taken from her. Yeah, WE GET IT, but does she? FINALLY? Serena still seems to have a fundamental issue with the thought that to other Gileadeans (and wannabe Gileadeans), she might not be more special than the countless other women she was totally fine with considering nothing more than a vessel for babies for her to steal. This does not compute. She weirdly doesn't seem to like being treated like a pet/property/child, herself, though (bet Mark and his ill-advised puppy crush are looking pretty good to her now). We leave her here, fulfilled of her daily dose of prenatal vitamins, yet still feeling strangely unsettled... to be continued...

(I mean, upgrade, but still) ---

Over on the still Canada side of Canada (for now, anyway), June is woken up from a Hannah fever dream to a call from Mayday Lily (yay, I love her!). June, Moira and Luke pile into the car for a field trip and flip off some nice Canadian protesters politely (at least one sign said please) telling them to GTFO. They oblige for the day and fuck off to the border, only to get the bad news that Mayday's Gilead contact is stuck on the other side and they're SOL. "Not so!" proclaims Luke, the sudden knight in shining armor. "We shall cross the forest of dangers and rescue the princess from the grasps of the evil queen!" Because he can't wait around for Hannah to appear on tv again with Serena... who is in Canada... ok. I mean it's only been 5-7 years since your daughter was stolen and yeah in all that time the bureaucratic paperwork approach hasn't worked too well (also though, Moira, exactly HOW long did you know about the border camp for?) but sure, right now seems like a great time to suddenly go tromping half-assed into Gilead patrolled woods with no gun, no weapons. Honestly I am really confused by how determined this guy seems to be to repeat history by going into another situation completely unprepared to defend himself and his family, with little else than his bravado and ill-advised optimism. June, however, looks proud and moved by this bravery recklessness and I don't know what I expected because I really do not think Luke brings out the best/smartest in her and she literally got turned on last episode by his pretend murder bluff. I sort of hoped that if anything Moira's common sense alarm would have gone off here a bit more forcefully, but unfortunately she was too busy force feeding us cheesy lines waxing poetic on Luke and June's marriage because they apparently have to try and convince the audience what they are not showing us by telling us.

Moira fucks off to drink with Lily (they got the better end of the deal) and off go June and Luke into the danger woods, holding hands (because I guess this is date night or something). We get an ominous overhead shot of telephone wires far above, giving the sense that nefarious forces are listening/watching, and then it is night in the creepy woods. June starts having trauma flashbacks but insists she's ok, because she still doesn't really think Luke can handle it doesn't want to slow them down. They come upon a corpse hanging from a tree with a "rapist" sign hung from the body. Luke is super disturbed (as would be the normal reaction), June is like same old, same old (her normal is a little different these days) but tells him it wasn't done by Gilead because they "don't use words" (that's only Fred when he's creepy scrabble foreplaying). I wondered if maybe June's murderwoods shenanigans with Fred had spread word and inspired some like minded action in NML?? But am now inclined to think it may have something to do with the people at the end of the episode (not to get ahead). Then it's day again and they finally reach the geocache, but before they can unearth the treasure they are accosted by a young guardian with a gun who I think would actually really love Prince had he been given any chance to know who that was, and it makes me sad that I'm certain he doesn't get the reference. I am going to call this character Guardian Timothee Chalamet from hereon despite later learning his name, Jaeden (they said NO NAMES, Luke) because that's literally all I could think of as soon as we met him. Luke is flustered but June, well accustomed to teenage boys in black training guns on her, doesn’t blink. “Beret”, motherfucker.

Timmy Chalamet is a little brusque and a bit suspicious at first, but he  to warms up quickly once they get to his favorite playfort hideout for shirking patrol duties in (don't blame him, it looks cold and boring out there): an abandoned bowling alley that somehow still has power (guess they found a loophole with the electric company), although they still have to reset the pins manually? Timmy gives them some very basic info on the wives schools (like basically the same info June got from Nick with the added episode-themed commentary reassurance that the "Plums" are treated like princesses, at least for the short time they're there before being married off to potentially old abusive pedos anyway (side note: I kind of love that they have slang like the "plums" and it made me wonder what other Gilead slang has developed amongst certain demographics). But never fear! There is a mysterious thumb drive that holds all the answers (ok I am also kind of side-eyeing looking at you on this one, though, Margaret Atwood--#TT #IYKYK). Why do I have a feeling the thumb drive is not going to make it... Anyway, Timmy C tells them they should stay and hang out because it's too dangerous to go back during the day (even though they were just out there in the daytime, honestly, I think the kid is just lonely but can't really blame him). Luckily his youthful charm is so infectious that Luke immediately forgets that he thinks anyone coming from Gilead is automatically an evil monster (replay start of 2x08 bar scene) and becomes bff’s with him, and anyway he's really excited to bowl because he just really loves bowling. I guess they don’t have bowling alleys in Canada anymore?. Ensue very unwise loud competition and man hollering from this bro fest, which makes June understandably disconcerted, as they are hiding out in enemy patrolled territory, theoretically trying not to get killed.

Luke is like June just needs to chill, how about some music and plays some truly absurd old timey songs on the piano that just happens to be there, before doing what he's been dying to do and busting out his falsetto "Let's Stay Together". A variety of emotions cross June's face, ranging from uncomfortable, affectionately amused, contemplative, conflicted, nostalgic, guilty, sad. She sort of looks like she wishes she could jump in with him and surrender to the sentiment whole heartedly, but her heart is not there and she knows it. She can’t quite bring herself to look him in the eyes, looking down when he tries to catch them. Noticing this, he clowns more for laughs and coaxes her to dance with him, and she finally gives in to the (deceptively) carefree feel of the moment, while sweet bb guardian Timothee finds extra mood lighting (cutest third wheel ever). Also, honorable mention to "Did you write that song?"..."yeah I did"... "wow, that's really good" (oh, the innocence!). I left out the part where they ask him about his life in Gilead and he tells them life "before" is "foggy, like a dream", because this was one heavy handed parallel too many on the Hannah front (and yes, I get it, the episode is called Fairytale). Am curious where they guy got beers from though (black market?) and how he smuggled a cooler full into his hideout without anyone noticing.

(which one of these is supposed to be “I’m so in love with this guy singing to me”?)

Then the game's over and they’re taking the scarywoods night shortcut (in hindsight maybe not the best idea but maybe the GROWNUPS here could have sussed that one out). Of course our sweet pure Guardian friend steps on a landmine (we knew from the beginning he was going to be a red shirt, didn't we?), looks terrified but bravely tells them to get back and it's probably fine before he moves a hair and gets blown to smithereens. Just kidding, he just got his leg blown off. He's starting to bleed out and June quickly and calmly goes to work with applying a belt tourniquet (apparently another skill she picked up as a rebel handmaid resistance fighter, or from Youtube) while Luke looks on in horrified shock, a second away from puking (I mean no shade, I'm sure I would, too). Jaeden Timothee Chalament’s guardian friends are calling to him and he White Fang's June and Luke to GTFO so they don't get caught, Luke hesitates and June pulls him up to desperately dash for the border. As she flees, she flashes back--to her and Hannah running in the woods, her running to lead the guardian away in the woods to save Angel's Flight--and this really got me, I found it one of the most (probably the most) genuinely compelling moments of the episode. We end with them surrounded and being dragged away in different directions (foreshadowing perhaps?? who knows). So let us review: every time June gives in to these carefree moments Luke initiates (largely in attempts to win her back as his wife), every time she overlooks her better judgement to concede to his (often ill-founded) optimism, something bad happens. This was the case when Gilead first rose to power and they didn't get out fast enough, and it's still happening now. She lets her guard down, the "old June" starts to seep in, and then BLAMMO, GILEAD IN YOUR FACE, again. Can we just learn the lesson already, June? Honestly, she's already broken the promise she made to Nick like two episodes ago, to keep herself and Nicole safe, because she followed Luke on this half-assed idea to wander into Gilead-patrolled no-man's-land with no gun, no protection and no real plan aside from "find some dude and quote him Prince", so he could "prove himself" or something. To be honest, I actually respected Luke a lot more for doing his thing, that he knows and does well. Fighting with building codes and fundraising  and research file folders and making connections with American bureaucrats. It's certainly not the most effective or quickest way to fight Gilead, but at least it’s something and most wars require multiple levels and strategies of offense and defense. That's his wheelhouse, it's who he is, and he can still be that and also support June in her own way of fighting. And if he really is moved to try her way himself (genuinely, not as some desperate ego driven attempt to not lose her), he needs to get some knowledge because at present he is just not well equipped and is more of a liability than an asset. June may be impulsive and sometimes downright reckless but she at least knows the enemy, she knows the game they're playing and how deadly it is. Luke is trying to play checkers in a game of wizard's chess. His pushing of this mission, in all his inexperience and naïveté , combined with June's natural impulsiveness, her desperation over Hannah AND her eagerness to embrace this new side of Luke that is finally embracing the active fighting side in her, gets them into trouble. And the "fairytale" comes crashing down around them.

[stylistiquements]

Day 1 : Soap Bubbles.

𐐪𐑂 Pairing : Sapnap x fem!reader {Playlist}

𐐪𐑂 Summary : You're being introduce to the internet in a peculiar way, it's up to you to decide what you're going to do with it.

𐐪𐑂 Word count : 1.4k | W: written part underneath

𐐪𐑂 Warning : very few swears

Masterlist | Previous | Next

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

The coffee that sinks inside your stomach brings out a grimace and a click of your tongue where the taste stains; too bitter, too acidic but you’ll drink it anyway and to the last drop; there is something about the idea of spending time with three best friends that is so made of spring and honey that you wish to miss none of it.

“Someone is lurking,” George contemplates out loud, and the call goes silent for a second as if to look for the intruder. And it would so easy to flinch, to hit the back pedal, because you almost feel like one being exposed front stage like that. But today- today is not that day.

It's not that you don't want to join the discussion, it's that it takes a second to warm up, to absorb the energy and become one with it.

And sometimes, all it takes is Sapnap to exclaim, “Panini head, my beloved!” for your smile synchronizes with his chuckles. Somehow, once noticed by the right person, life flows back naturally.

George and Dream greets you in trailing unison, like two kids forced to greet their unwelcomed aunt on a sunday afternoon.

“H-hey troublemakers,” you finally say. Your voice is still quiet, not reluctant, but rather uncertain. It doesn't bother anyone.

“I’m beating Dream’s ass at chess and he’s bitter,” Sap explains, and you silently nod, as if they were able to see you.

A long silence follows along, rythmed by clicks of mouses and keyboards and it falls in your ears like high droplets. It's comfortable. It's intimate, shared with friends only.

"We haven't heard from you in a while," Dream says. "I mean ... before the clout fiasco."

You wouldn't exactly call it a fiasco, even though you don't really like the idea of being perceived a little too closely from the eyes of twitter.com, but you do agree anyway, "I've been caught up on college essays lately."

"That sucks," George probably adds.

“Good thing you’re here, then,” Dream notes, simple as a breath. “This is a worry-free zone.”

It hovers for a second, carried by George’s approval hum.

You squint suspiciously, detective mode, at the profile pictures that light on and off before your eyes, “Thanks, dream.”

He scoffs a “sure” and you’re not sure why you sense a bit of irony stuck on the back of his teeth. You're so tempted to call him out, but you don't. Instead, you write a mental note of this odd moment.

“It���s because I told him about your three brothers and now he’s scared they’re gonna find him and kick his ass,” Sap explains as if he just read your mind.

Sometimes, there’s this thing in the air, though you’re miles away. Something like a connection. There’s this thing when you don’t need to talk for Sap to understand. Sharing one brain cell, you dismiss ironically. Probably coincidences and predictability, but it always sounds a little special, a little like something you’d wish to be out of this world, like morning dew and fairy circles. And it makes you feel safe, at home, just like snuggling up in the sheets during a stormy night. Your smile washes up the sleeve of your hoodie, covered palm carefully hiding your chuckles.

“Three older brothers,” George muses, and there’s no telling if it’s something meant for you to hear. “That’s kinda scary.”

“You better be scared, one of them is probably your FBI agent,” you tease mindlessly, though there's nothing scary about those three grown men.

“I’m British, Bunny,” he points out. Whether the exasperation in his tone is fake or genuine, that, you can’t tell, but you play it cool, grin carved so deep it almost hurts. Dream’s wheezes rise and fall in the background.

“Say that to his face then,” you outbid smirkingly after a second of silence, heels growing into the carpet to make your chair spin slowly left and right, so breezily.

“I’d praise you for the rest of my life if you-Oooooooh your ass is wacked. Your ass is so wacked, dude. You fucked up so bad,” Sapnap chokes out between strings of giggles.

“Oh no, my streamer is losing his game?” You theatrically pout. “My streamer Dreamwastaken, have you met him? Guess you don’t need any of my brothers to kick your ass.”

“Okay yeah- no- it’s not my fault if your- they’re distracting me, okay?” Dream defends.

Slowly, the energy lowers again and the call remembers peace as Dream admits defeat.

“I’m not playing against you anymore,” he mumbles through greeted teeth, your hoodie shelters a muffled giggle. “Let’s talk about y/n’s twitter fame instead.”

“Let’s just not-” you mutter, both because seeing Dream lose at something is a miracle that has to be witnessed once and because you’re somewhat reluctant. “Let’s just not talk about that.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea it would draw this much attention to you,” Sap admits.

“Well, you talk about her all the time it was only a matter of time before twitter finds out,” George taunts and you secretly smile, listening to the way your best friend tries to defend himself, mind flooded with the last memories you have of when you were able to see those chuckles for real.

“Yeah, Quackity already told me you guys talk behind my back,” you fakely muse. “That’s totally fine, I don’t wanna know what you guys are talking about at all.” It’s a lie, obviously, the idea creeps upon your mind with assumptions you can’t quite get a grip of nor let go.

“You and Quackity talk?’ Sapnap asks, hint of surprise, and you hum.

“Or rather, he talks to me. He keeps calling-.” Shit. The forsaken word traps itself into your mouth. It’s too silly anyway.

“Come on, just say it,” Dream pushes as if he knew too much, more than you even do, and your cheeks flush mindlessly. You don’t notice.

“Dream, quit it!” You demand.

“Quit what?”

“You talk as if you knew more than anyone did.”

“Maybe I just do,” he coos, so dream-like.

Oblivious or careless, Sapnap asks, “Is Quackity bothering you or something?”

“He-" you begin but stop to look for the right way to put it, "He triggers my flight or fight response.”

"I mean, duh," Sapnap probably rolls his eyes.

"But I like him. He's funny."

After a second of silence, George says, “Well that was unexpected.”

“Not so much, I think we’re both chaotic neutral people.”

“What is that neutral chaotic thing anyway?” Dream is confused.

Roll up your sleeve girl boss because now is your time to shine! You offer your best dream smp alignment chart to the classroom. They're speechless, but they listen carefully.

"Then you're more chaotic good than neutral. You're too sweet anyway," Sap says.

"I'd even say lawful good," George debates.

"That's because you haven't seen Bunny during her crazy cat hour."

"True," you note.

"She'll go absolutely batshit."

“What?" George burst between confusion and surprise. "We've never seen you like that."

"A lady never reveal her secrets," you retort. No one answer.

It leaves a second for your mind to enjoy peace. For your eyes to lay on c!tubbo on lawful good and think true, then on c!dream on chaotic evil and think also very true. You huff and it's like a wave; as sarcasm leaves your breath, an idea comes in.

"Sap, check your DMs," you request.

Surrounded by the evening lull, Sapnap’s laugh pops like soap bubbles, "God, you’re so stupid. Why can't you just marry me?"

“So, is it Sapnap approved?” You chuckle lightly to prevent Sapnap’s morning fresh laugh to fill your chest and leak everywhere.

“Just press ‘send tweet’ please,” he confirms with leftovers of a smile in his voice.

"George, get me out of here. They're doing it again," Dream whines.

"Doing what?" He asks, unbothered.

"Act like they're alone in the convo. Just get a room." And you don't get to stand up for yourself that you and your best friend are actually sent to another room.

"Well this one is chaotic evil confirmed," you mumble as you roll your eyes but the vibes are much peaceful, much more comfortable in here. "So ... hi."

"Hi," he chuckles in return.

Maybe that's for the best; a moment that needs to stay a little timeless, secretive and special. It hasn't happened in so long, you don't even remember the last time it did.

"I'm glad you're here. I miss you, you know?" He says, and it's hard to not feel so bittersweet about it. It's hard when longing involves a craved touch, a real smile and an eye contact. Your shoulder sinks in the chair a little harder.

"I miss you too. I'll be here soon," you promise. And soon couldn't come any sooner.

But the conversation, soft and free, will wash up any worries, as always, and you'll end up talking about everything and nothing, about streams and planned videos and college and god knows what. As long as it makes the two of you happy and smiling. Just like the old days, you'll both think and it's fair to say until the evening turns into night and night turns into fatigue.

"Are you sure you're okay about that clout?" He asks once again. "I know you don't like being exposed like that."

"Yeah, yeah don't worry too much about it. I'll try to make good use of it."

"I'm sure you will," he murmurs, but oh boy did he not know what was about to come until you two meet.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

Taglist : @open-minded-chip-101 ; @itsoakaa ; @gaysludge

A/N : so first of all it has come to my attention that 129 days from now on is actually my birthday so that's a weird coincidence lol. Hi how are you guys?? welcome to the first part I hope you liked it. I'm fairly new to the mcyt community and that's the first time I write for them, so bear with me. Feedbacks are always appreciated. Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

[avatarvyakara]

Strands of Webbing

A Spiderverse Fanfic

Prompts 253-264

“Not Sidekicks”

First | Previous | Next

253. Mentor

The Original Six—the Spider Gang—the Cluster—the Veterans—they have many names. But what they also are, is a rallying symbol. In a cosmos where the Friendly Neighbourhood Spider is so often alone, they're the ones who get it.

Most of the time, they're also the first to find someone new. Someone like them.

And there's always room to learn something new.

254. Nephew

"This is Charles!" says Ham, proudly showing off the tiny spider in his hand. "My great-niece Nelly's kid, she left him to me in her will."

Miles and the other Spiders exchange glances.

"Um…"

SP//dr's face produces an "it's-so-cute!" emoticon, and the robot waves gently.

Charles extends one leg and wiggles it up and down.

"Well done, Charles! The nice lady's name is Takara. Can you say 'Takara'?"

Apparent silence.

"That's neither here nor there, kid."

"What was that?" asks Peter, who quite frankly looks exhausted already.

"It's a spider thing. Now, you guys got any mashed bedbugs?"

"Not in this house, we don't," says Aunt May sternly.

But Ham isn't paying attention. He's turned back to his nephew and is tickling under his thorax. "You're gonna be the best superhero ever! Yes you are! All we need to do is find someone to bite you…"

SP//dr raises its hand.

“Nah, nah, it’s gotta be something different. Something unique...”

?_?

“Not that you’re not unique!”

255. Simian

The first and only time Peter tries to make money in a wrestling match, it's a terrible mistake. The man's gotta be pushing sixty and he's literally got a god on his side, how is he losing?

"Come on, you little masked menace!" calls Crusher Hogan from below. "You gonna get your hands dirty, or are you just gonna sit on that pole jumping around instead of fighting like a man?"

Figures he'd have to go for a "shooter", which apparently means "someone who doesn't fake matches and therefore knows exactly how to hit where it hurts". And here he thought it meant he could use his guns...

Odd, though. He's glowing. His costume is literally glowing Red.

(The Spider-God wouldn't give him the Red unless there was a good reason.)

"Why don't you come up and fight like a spider?" he asks, letting the colour sink into his words.

The old Black man stares up at him for a moment—

And grins.

Uh oh.

"Nah," says Crusher. "How about I fight like a monkey instead?"

The light around the ring turns Blue.

"Oh, son of a—"

POW.

The man just jumped eight feet like it was nothing, grabbed him, and tugged him down into a chokehold.

"Language, son," he says, mildly reproachful. "There are impressionable youths in this place."

Peter loses as gracefully as he can, to the sound of cheering from the (quite young) crowd.

That night, the Spider-Man stops by the arena to see the Monkey King.

“What’s that colour you got around you, son?” asks the surprisingly hirsute hero—more than he was before, anyway. He’s using a long, featureless iron pole as a walking stick. (Definitely for show.)

“It’s red.”

“I wondered. Never seen red before. Mine is blue.”

“I know.”

The Monkey King grins. “That sounds like a tale, young’un. You got time to swap?”

“Maybe. If you can tell me what you’re supposed to be doing with that power.”

“Hah! Nothing too special. Have fun. Keep my family safe. Take what I want from the Man. Help people out on quests. That kinda junk. Wrestling helps pass the time and keeps the neighbourhood kids out of trouble.”

“How often do you get quests?”

“You would be amazed. You good with tea?”

“Much obliged, Mr. Hogan.”

“Call me Crusher. Or Sun, if you want. That’s his name, but he don’t mind my using it. That or The King.”

Now Peter grins. “Guess you’d better shut my mouth and call me Anansi Boy.”

The King of Brooklyn roars with laughter.

256. Uneasy

As far as Mary-Jane Watson is concerned, Carnage is a Symbiote, a remnant of her best friend Steff “Stay” See (who was once the Red Spider and didn’t tell her until it was too late) and the source of Mary-Jane’s powers. It's a way to feel closer to her lost companion, and an ally in protecting her version of New York.

As far as Carnage is concerned, Mary-Jane is a legacy, a comrade mourning their lost friend. And for a while the resentment and guilt battled each other, and so Carnage and Mary-Jane had to make a decision as to which they would follow. But one thing is for certain: whatever darkness lies within Mary-Jane, it is far more manageable than Knull was.

Both of them assume they’re in control. Both of them are right.

(Both of them also agree that, whether Flash Thompson or Venom is in control, the individual on the whole is a bit of a prat.)

257. Duality

Most of the stuff Hida knows about, Peni has as much connection with as Billy has with Peredur’s time, and vice versa. (“No, it’s not magic, you daft brush, it’s not even a particularly good record, the Beatles really went downhill since they brought in Ringo Starr—”) So there’s a cultural impasse. Noir, on the other hand, while much closer in terms of tech level and linked to a spider-spirit directly like Hida is, knows basically no Japanese at all, and what little he knows is from Peni’s time. So there’s a linguistic impasse.

They work on it, together. They both seem quite happy to. Peni learns more about her mother’s ancestral culture, Noir learns his friend’s native language to the degree he can actually manage simple conversations.

And Hida gets better at web-slinging, and her English is pretty good after a year of learning, and they get a chance to work on water combat so she can move better in her home environment. (Well. Swim in a lake uptown. But still, water combat.)

“So...is it like adoption? Did Peni and Noir agree to joint custody of Peni’s mom or something?” asks Miles from the side of a building in Peter B.’s world, to some very weird looks. “What?”

“Think about that sentence for a moment,” says Peter.

“...oh. Oh, urgh, dude, no. Not like that!”

Gwen snickers.

“But I get what you mean,” says Peter. They’re like a brother-sister team-up.”

“Taking care of Peni’s mom. Who is also a demon spider in human form.”

“That would explain so much...” muses Miguel, only for Peter to elbow him.

"Behave. That's my baby sister you're talking about there, O'Hara."

"You don't even have the same parents, Parker."

"Regardless."

258. Combo

Ava Ayala, the White Tiger, huffs in annoyance.

“Really, Spidey? One of you wasn’t enough?”

“You’re welcome,” says Spider-Glitch drily, pulling off the door of the hanging cage. “Think you can get down while the others handle the VENOM agents?”

White Tiger squints. “Isn’t one of them a VENOM too?”

“A Carnage, actually. Don’t worry, she’s cool.”

“I’ll bet.”

Something’s a little odd about the fight down below. The five other Spider-...people?...well, they’re fighting, but whenever they land a hit green numbers appear in the air.

“Bet you can’t beat that, Peni!” crows the little black-and-red spider, after a couple of shots knock three VENOM agents unconscious and reverting back to their original forms.

“You’re on, Morales!” says the red-and-blue giant robot.

Spider-Glitch grins at Ava’s expression. “I think they took to the Matrix pretty well, all things considered.”

“They’re treating it like...a video game?”

“I know, right? I can’t believe Fury never thought of that!”

259. Elastic

“Uhhhh...hey!”

Spider-Man stares.

"Oh. Yeah. Forgot about that." The…rather strange girl (she can't be more than thirteen) shrinks her fist down from colossal size to something approaching normality. "So! …what's up?"

"¿Debería volver más tarde?" asks the Scorpion, fresh from a punch from the aforementioned fist. "Puedo dejar la plata si lo quieres."

"Don't move, this will just take a minute," orders Spider-Man. For good measure, he quickly webs the Scorpion down.

"It is as if you don't trust me…"

“So...can I hang out? Not, you know, as a sidekick, but maybe just kinda shadowing you for a bit? Until I’m ready to work back in Queens. If...that’s okay?”

"Okay, first off, what are you doing out of school?"

"…it's March break and I took the two-week option? Why aren't you in school?"

Miles almost splutters. "Wha—who said anything about being in school?"

(It's his last semester, for your information.)

"And why do you sound like you've got a bad cold all of a sudden?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Then Miles remembers himself. "And what's with the costume?"

The girl draws back, looking a little self-conscious. "It's not like I just have materials that stretch with me lying around…" she mumbles.

"No, no, that's okay. I had the same problem, went around in a store-bought suit for my first few days too. I can help with that if you want," Miles offers, wondering how to explain this to Mrs. Parker. ("Hi, I found a stray superhero and she needs a suit"? Probably not the best opening line.) But the strange girl brightens up a bit, at least. "No, what I meant was, why the Captain Marvel costume?"

"That's because I'm Ms. Marvel!" says the girl proudly. Trace of an accent…Hindi, maybe? Urdu?

“Seriously? You know that’s probably copyrighted, right?”

“Okay, to be fair, you basically just took over the franchise. This is a tribute.”

"I did not—okay, look, bottom line, you do not just go out into the street and start swinging! That's not how superheroing works! You gotta practice a bit, maybe get yourself some decent digs, some kind of support network, again you can start with part of mine, and…and what am I saying? You don't need this kind of life, kid! My advice? Just stay outta the game until you’ve got your future settled. I can handle stuff until you do."

"I think you're gonna be a baaaad teacher," mutters Ms. Marvel, which annoys Miles for reasons he can't quite place.

"Probably!" calls the Scorpion.

"Stay out of this, Marco."

"Wow. It's not like secret identities mean anything around here, is it."

"Cállate."

260. Include

And Kron Stone, alias Venom, is down for the count.

“Lyla? You getting this?” murmurs Miguel.

—well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I can actually tell you who it is—

Odd way of phrasing it, but...

“Hey!” calls Miguel in his Spider-Voice. “Whoever you are, you did good, kid. But this isn’t safe for you.”

“If it’s safe for you, then it’s plenty safe for me,” says the copper-bodied figure through a modulator. “And I’m not a kid.”

“You sound like a kid.” Actually he sounds like Gabriel with a sore throat.

The shimmering mask of liquid metal (a Stark-Fujikawa specialty—maybe a corporate rival?) twitches into a face like an annoyed gargoyle. “I’m not. Uh...I am the Green Goblin, here to clean up this town!”

“Uh huh.”

“Look, I just saved your life, dude, give me a break.”

“I’m trying to. Go home, kid. You’ve got better things to do with your life.”

“Right about now?” says the Green Goblin, fanged face looking surprisingly solemn. “This is exactly what I want to be doing. I’ll...see you around, Spiderman.”

And he gets on his hoverboard and starts to fly away.

“Hey!”

The Goblin turns in midair.

“...thanks.”

The metal face twists into almost a soft smile, and on he goes.

Stark-Fujikawa tech again. Hmmm...

Maybe he can ask Gabriel if he’s seen anything suspicious lately. He works for Stark-Fujikawa, right?

—honestly I have no idea who that was—

And maybe he needs to bring Lyla over to Xina again, she’s definitely malfunctioning and he didn’t even ask her to this time.

261. Corporeal

The fact that there's another Spider in Miles' dimension? That's…cool. The fact that she's about the same age as Peter Parker, was bitten by the same spider as Peter Parker, and had a bit of a tough time for some reason so she moved out of town? Also cool. The fact that she's got a bit less experience than Peter so Miles doesn't have another mentor (not that he really wants one)? All good.

But San Francisco?

"That's like…the anti-New York."

The ghostly figure beside Silkworm on the rooftop rolls his eyes.

that'sabitrudeisn'tit?

Silkworm (who is wearing what seems to be a yellow and white hanbok-style suit with black web patterns and a domino mask) grins.

"Okay, so it takes some getting used to. But it's not too bad. And hey, it's nice to know there's another Spider around, just in case."

andyou'renotthrowingyourselfatthisoneso.

"Spectro."

Spectro just grins.

Miles blinks.

"I don't think you two have been properly introduced. Miles Morales, Spider-Man, meet my idiot boyfriend, Hector Cervantez. Alias Spectro."

Miles scratches his head. "Uhhh…correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't he…aren't you…"

dead? Spectro finishes. probably.

"Dude, I'm…"

actuallythat'sreallyunclear, butyouknowwhat? i'velearnedtolivewithit. sortof. He smiles. plusitmeansIgettohelpoutabitmorearoundhere.

Silkworm smiles back. With practiced ease, Spectro makes a karate-chop movement, which Silkworm catches easily, and they hold hands for a couple of seconds.

"So…what kind of bad guys do you get around here?"

"Would you believe me if I said Pokémon?"

"Come on," says Miles dismissively. "You ain’t gonna fool a Brooklyn kid that easy."

There's a roar on the horizon, and a large pink dragon soars overhead.

"…man, that's not fair."

Silkworm and Spectro laugh.

262. Wail

Taking a piece of Peter’s grave to another dimension? That’s one thing. Him asking to be carried around all the time? That’s another.

“Gee, Stacy, aren’t you a little old to have a pet rock?”

Gee, Allen, aren’t you a little old to need to get a life?

...okay, fine, she snorted at that one.

It hasn’t been very helpful on the job either. Up until now.

“Any last words?” asks Doc Ock, squeezing tight.

Mind you, now���s not the best time to find out.

Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod just stay there I’ll help!

“That,” grunts Gwen between her teeth as she tries to push the mechanical limbs apart, “would be a really bad idea—”

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The sound pierces Gwen’s ears and turns her stomach. Doc Ock is literally blown backwards. Her ears are bleeding.

It disappears as quickly as it started.

A few quick webs and an anonymous text later, and Gwen’s up on the rooftop squeezing the rock tight enough to crush it. (She doesn't. She wouldn't.)

“What the hell, Parker?”

...I’m sorry. Are you okay?

“Never mind about me, what was that? When did you turn into a banshee?”

I didn’t! Honest! I just...gathered up some of the sounds floating around and kind of pushed them out. It’s like how I talk to you, just...not like that. Maybe a bit stronger.

Gwen pauses. “How long have you been able to do that?”

Far as I know? This is the first time I’ve actually tried. I honestly didn’t think it could work.

“...hmm.”

...can I try it again?

She knows the hope in that voice. That curiosity tinged with mild desperation.

“Only on bad guys,” she warns him. “And only in emergencies.”

You got it, Sensei.

“Shut up.”

Hey, how's "The Banshee" as a codename?

"About as on-the-nose as 'The Lizard'."

It's straightforward at least.

"You're gonna be the death of me, you know that?"

I wouldn't dare. You'd give me hell for the rest of my afterlife.

"And don't you forget it." But she's smiling again.

263. Mentee

One evening, Doctor Octavius—not Doc Ock, don't mix lab work with mask work—starts glitching.

"Whoa! Doctor Octavius, are you okay?"

She bats his hand away from her shoulder—and then falls to the floor, starts going fractal again with a noise like a lightsaber put through a DJ mix. "Don't worry, Mi/les, I'm ab/sol/utely f/ine! …owwwww." She cricks her neck. "Just a side effect from a personal experiment."

"This is…"

This is weird. This is very weird.

(And if she hadn't just tried to kill him again last week he might actually be worried.)

She looks at him softly, puts a hand on his shoulder to reassure him. "Hey. Hey, it's okay, kid. I'm alright. Nothing to be s/caaaaaared/ offffffffff. Aargh, that hurt."

Miles winces in sympathy. "What—what can I do?" (Play dumb.) "Can I get you anything to help?" (Smart dumb. Nice.)

She nods, panting. "You think you can g/et a bage/lllllllll…get…get me a bagel from the cafeteria please?"

"Extra cream cheese?"

She grins. "You know me so well, Mister Morales."

Better than you'd think, Miles thinks to himself as he rushes down the hallway.

Okay. Option One, there's a parallel-world Olivia Octavius who's managed to get through. Unlikely but possible. Option Two, travelling too many times between dimensions causes you to start glitching in your home dimension because of the other atomic structures incorporated into you. Again unlikely—he's never glitched at home—but worth talking to Tech Support about. Option Three…

Option Three is that travelling too many times between dimensions when you don't have a stabilizing factor, like, for instance, being a Spider, causes your atoms to slowly fall apart regardless.

None of these are good. Other hypotheses may be even worse.

Much as he has concerns about Doc Ock, much as he really doesn't like Liv based on Aunt May's stories, he doesn't want Doctor Octavius to die. Least of all like that.

Bagel. Toasted. Extra cream cheese. Strawberry jam. Some water as well. Bed rest is next, he can handle the project report (a re-evaluation of thread theory based on “anonymous research”, i.e., collider data). He's been at this job for two years now anyway. And then…he hopes Miguel's still up, at least.

Miles doesn't need to imagine how painful it could be. He knows. But he, for one, is not going to wait around and watch.

264. Collective

"See?" says Ham, proud as can be. "Told you guys that Charlie would be amazing."

"Well, yeah," says Peter B., who looks mildly ill, "but…it's not exactly just him, is it?'

"Well, no. But hey, the psychic link seems to be holding up fine. Who would've thought being bitten by a radioactive human would do the trick? Millicent, stop pulling your brother’s legs!"

“How do you even tell them apart?”

“What, like it’s hard?”

The large mass of churning, scuttling spiders in roughly the shape of a human being manages to stand up inside one of Peter’s old suits. It waves.

"How many kids did your great-niece have, exactly?" asks Peni.

"Nelly was always very popular," says Ham, wistfully.

SP//dr, oblivious to her best friend's mild discomfort, waves back eagerly.

"Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you the one, the only, Spiders-Man!"

Now there's just the matter of a mask, which is duly provided, brought up to the top of the pile, and inhabited. There’s a small vocal translator in said mask, designed specially by Miguel.

And so speaks the Spiders-Man for the first time:

“...hi.”

[jaskiers-sweetkiss]

could you write the reader being gus's daughter and having an ability similar to shawn's ? (bonus: the reader spiting or intimidating lassie even though they're like two decades younger)

2.0

Word Count: 1075

Warnings: none?

a/n: I wasn’t planning on taking non-marvel prompts but omg I love this so much, thanks anon!! 

___

You nearly bounced into the Santa Barbra Police Department, and extra spring in your step as you climbed the stairs. You were a long way from your home in San Francisco but it was well worth the drive and you’d be able to stay with your grandparents while you were in town.

San Francisco PD had loaned you out to Santa Barbara to help on one of their trickier cases, thought what it entailed you weren’t sure yet. You were fairly new, but you were San Francisco’s most valuable consultant, having helped solve some of their highest-profile cases. Aunt Juliet- sorry, Chief Spencer, still constantly asks you to go through the Academy and join the force as a detective but you always turn her down. You preferred working as a consultant, always a little bit outside the law just like your father and his best friend had when they were younger.

You were a psychic detective. You had “inherited” your gift from your Uncle Shawn, though from what you knew Uncle Shawn had passed on the gift much nicer than his father had. It was always a game with Uncle Shaun, everywhere you went it was a “I’ll give you a dollar if you can tell me how many hats are in the room” or “I’ll buy you and ice cream if you can tell me how many blue towels are on the beach” which was usually quickly followed by a scolding from your dad or Aunt Juliet. You loved it though, and by the time you were 15 you were practically rich and knew exactly wanted to do when you grew up: continue Psych with right where your family left off.

That had led you here: the Santa Barbara Police Department. Aunt Jules had given you specific instructions to go meet with the chief first, and Uncle Shawn had given you even more specific instructions on how to do that.

“Lassie!” You exclaimed, bursting through the doors and into the chief of police’s office.

“That’s Chief Carlton Lassiter to you, recruit.” He said, not even looking up from the report on his desk.

“Ooh, sorry Lassie, not a recruit. I’ll give you two more guesses.” You quipped, a teasing grin spread across your face as you watched the older man.

He looked irritated when he finally set aside his report to look at you and for a moment you felt bad.

“Who the hell are you?” He gritted out and you practically beamed. Uncle Shawn was right, it was too easy. 

“Psychic Detective Y/N Guster, reporting for duty, sir!” You nearly shouted in response, snapping into an attention position and raising your hand in a stiff salut. 

The chief froze as he took in your words, looking for a moment like he’d seen a ghost. 

“Did Spencer put you up to this?” He finally asked cautiously.

“Yes, Chief Spencer sent me. Said you had requested a consultant for a particularly pesky case?”

“I asked her to send her best consultant.” 

“Well, you’re looking at her.” You grinned and you could practically see the color drain from his face.

“Don’t worry, Chief. I’ll stay out of your way, I’m only here to help.”

___

“ACTUALLY, Lassie, I sense that you’re going after the wrong man.” So much for staying out of his way, but at least you were definitely still helping. Lassiter was attempting to brief the force on the apparent murderer of some high-class trophy wife. 

“Guster,” he gritted out, a manic look in his eyes as he stared you down.

“In fact, I’m sensing that the killer isn’t even a man at all,” you continued, ignoring the chief’s silent warning. 

“You think a woman did this?” He raised an eyebrow in challenge. “Have you seen the crime scene? It’s a disaster, no female killer leaves that much of a mess.” 

“Wow. First of all, Lassie, it’s not 2014 anymore. I’ve seen women do much worse than this.” You gestured pointedly to the photos pinned on the crime scene board the force was gathered around. “Secondly, have you seen the crime scene? Because I’m sensing you’d find lipstick marks that don’t belong to the victim on a mug in the sink and more than one fake nail present that also doesn’t belong to the victim.”

The room was silent as you and Lassiter had a stare-off until one of the officers stepped forward with a report and an evidence bag. 

“She’s right,” he said, handing you the bag which you could see held the fake nails. “The report says they found the mug but dismissed it as being from the victim.”

You took a deep breath to prepare yourself before reaching for the bag and gasping like you’d been punched as soon as you held it in your hand.

“Oh my god!” You exclaimed, holding the bag away from your body as if it had attacked you. 

“It was the sister!” You gasped, clenching your eyes shut, other hand coming up to your forehead the way your Uncle Shawn did whenever he had a “vision.” “I can see it clearly, she was having an affair with the husband. It had been going on for years and she had been content to live in the shadows but then something, something happened…

“I see jealousy! Anger! She’s had enough, it’s the final straw! There’s a struggle,” you flew around the room, miming the attack before falling to the ground dramatically. “Her own sister, killed in cold blood.” 

“That was some great conjecture, Guster,” Lassie deadpanned, “But you don’t have a shred of evidence to support it.”

You stood, making a show of clenching your eyes shut again in concentration as you slowly raised your fingers to your head once more. “I sense that if you run a DNA test on the mug the results will come out in my favor, also I sense that the sister hasn’t had time to get her nails redone, if you bring her in now I believe you’ll find these nails,” you shook the evidence bag still in your hand, “will match.” 

Lassiter clenched his jaw but gave out the order anyway, the police force dispersing to find the evidence. You knew they would, you had been in the house yourself yesterday and had seen the sister that very morning. 

Uncle Shawn and your dad were right, it was especially satisfying to solve a case under Lassiter’s nose. 

 ___

Taglist:

@chaoticcquirk

[the-acid-pear]

I hit post limit but I'm watching James and the Giant Peach anyway so what about we do it in the style of my Baki liveblogs?

Oh yeah baby this format is coming back. No pics will be taken which makes me sad! But alas...

I think it's worth mentioning i haven't watched this movie since i was a kid so i don't remember anything other than it having a nice vibe

THIS KID IS MADE OUT OF FLESH AND THESE PPL ARE BRITISH. WHADDAHELL...

I was joking w Blood about the family dying after the boat crashes but um. I guess the rhyno won? Whatever THAT means...

I want these aunts to sandwich me they could make me worse

JWDGWKDVJWDV THE FUCKING WARREN WASTELAND 💀💀💀 that's how england looks to me 😍/j

FUCK YEAH FEET REVEAL THESE WOMEN WERE MADE FOR ME‼️

OH IT WAS A REAL RHYNO? 💀

THEY ARE GONNA COOK HIM

The kid is singing. Anyway, that spider def poisonous 💀

This kiddo is depressing bruh

Sings like shit tho ngl

James doesn't know what a poisonous spider looks like but he sure knows how to make a perfect paper balloon first try 💀

Second degree murder 😁👍

THAT DUDE SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME LMAO

SIR YOU ARE A CERTIFIED FREAK

BLINK MOTHERFUCKER

Man is scaring me more than he's scaring James but that's only bc unlike this weird isolated British orphan i was taught about stranger danger

I think James is just having a psychotic breakdown because of all the physical and psychological abuse he has been thru /j

LMAO THIS KID IS A FAILURE

Spiker you are like 180 cm you could get it yourself 😐

The way this peach came to be is both hilarious and cute this tree is winning rn

This movie has extremely funny dialogue i love Spiker sm

THE FAKE ASS TEAR 😭😭😭

Pretty based of them to make the priest pay double NGL

The rhyno threats are fucked up but so goofy bc. It's a fucking rhyno 💀

Maybe they mean the guy from spiderman tho, i mean, they WERE going to New York after all...

Damn i cracked the code

Strong ass kid ate the worm 😨

HEY I REMEMBER THAT MANY HANDED BASTARD I HAD A CRUSH ON HIM OMFG... This feels like seeing an old ex 💀

God i adore these bugs sm they are so shape

This spider is so hot, even hotter than i remembered

KQGWKVDNSGER THIS GUY IS SUCH A JERK I LOVE HIM

Rhinnoceri... I need to fuck this cricket <- guy so horny he forgot the word

THE LADY BUG IS A MILF

Isn't it kinda... Racist, to call another bug a maggot?

This music goes hard

What about da worm........? 🥺

That worm is prob like would u still love me if i was a human?

"now i have two half brothers" 💀💀💀

Didn't realize the bugs were huge. Even MORE culeables!

Omg milves DIED

Nvm girlboss powah

Damn they're actually bleeding tho

THEY ARE IN DA SEA, THAT WORM IS GONNA DIE

Omg he wears glasses cuz he's a worm therefore blind that's so cute

The spider hates this centipede sm 💀

LTDJEHSDJ I'M SURE THEY DO CENTIPEDE

This movie is just a bunch of European immigrants falling for the American dream

EVERYONE HATES THIS CENTIPEDE SM LMAO

This is abuse of the disabled

KSHDJDJZHZKGXG WORM ILY

Sick ass shark ngl

Do you think earthworm and centipede ever explored each other's bodies?

This is animal abuse

Oh he's from Brooklyn that's cute 🥺

AT THE SPENCE OF HIS LIFE, JAMES. STOP TRYING TO DOWNPLAY HIS TRAUMA!!

Maybe they do have a point tho

THE CRICKET IS A GILF⁉️ :Y

Worm deadass said 🥵

I thought they knew but were carnivorous what a bunch of fucking idiots. Bet they are doing this only to make James feel better about himself...

Well Mr centipide that's bc you didn't taste this c-

Sorry.

These idiots are gonna eat da whole peach -_-

OH POODLES AS IN WATER NOT DOGS OK...

...OR MAYBE HE MEANT DOGS? ARE CRICKETS CARNIVOROUS???

These bitches r getting drunk 💀

We got peach'd

WORM IS FAT LMAO 🥺

Girlie they are all nice to you too, maybe tad bit obnoxious but not MEAN.

THIS KID IS THREATENING TO KILL HIMSELF 💀

This is one of the coolest dream scenes I've ever seen

I bet his parents are alive and just abandoned him /j

CRICKET JUST CALLED CENTIPIDE AND ASS

They made a fucking dick joke I'm. Gonna fucking die.

They are gonna fuckin kill my man

JAMES... BABY......

THE CRICKET GOING 😱 LMAO

CRICKET KICKED HIM IN THE FACE HOLY FUCK

Look i know he lied but these people have no fucking mercy... They are literally gonna make him and ME cry..... ...... ..

NO. THATS SO FUCKED UP THIS MOVIE IS SO FUCKED UP THIS MESSAGE IS SO FUCKED UP.

"he's commiting pesticide!" I'm gonna shit myself

LMAO HE ADMITTED IT WAS HIS FAULT good.

WORM BABY PLEASE WJDGJAVECEBF DONT SAY HELPED 💀💀💀💀💀

Ladybug just spanked spider, Kinky

Literally no hurry at all my man is just walking like it's an afternoon in the park

Lmao nice Jack cameo

They are gonna kill my man, again

HOLY FUCK THEY ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO KILL HIM

"hey that one felt pretty good!" He gets it.

I love him for his American swag

KILLING HIM FR

OH THANK YOU LADY THANK YOU... 😭

MY KINGGFGGG ITXJFgsheaysrsudruddi 💥

Stop being homophobic worm let them kiss too

Aw worm got the hat kdjdthjf 🥺

SPIDER N LADYBUG ARE DOING LESBIANISM TOGETHER...

OMG HE'S A GRASSHOPPER NOT A CRICKET 😭😭

Too long of a name tho sticking to calling him cricket -_-

They are fucking

This grasshopper is fucking racist...

This movie is so lovely they are his family man... ;;

God Ms spider i think i hauve covid

This kid is definitely just dead on his yard hallucinating btw /j

THEY WON'T ALWAYS BE TOGETHER STOP B4 I CRY...

DA RHYNO NOOO......!!!!!!!!

ANYTHING BUT JERSEY WJCSJSFSHSF

I'M GONNA FUCKIN CRY Y'ALL

HIS FRIENDSSSSS 😭😭😭😭

This is so sad Alexa play Despacito

How did he lose the tie? 💀

EL LECHERO LMAO

Hang on, they weren't in England? They were in America? How did the aunts make it here in that beaten old car?

AH NVM THEY WENT THRU THE WATER LMAO

YEAH SAME JAMES NO SHIT

Before photoshop existed lol

THEY ARE GASLIGHTING THIS CHILD

HEY WHAT'S UP FREAKY OLD MAN!

Shut up James 💀

JAMES SNAPS!?

FUCK YEAH LITTLE BOY!!!

MURDER ATTEMPT 💀💀💀

Second degree murder 😁👍

OOOOHHHH?????

GQNWG KEGSJDVQNS YEAAAAHHHHHH LET'S FYCJING GOOOOO

SICK EM BOYS, RIGHT IN FROM OF THE CROWD 💀

PUBLIC EXECUTION LMAO

Wig

Those women are dying dudes ...

"god bless the colonies" glow-worm lady... 💀

"go ahead!" A hero of the people, communist icon

This movie is gonna make me happy cry look at my guys and James...

SICK ASS SEED

Best found family tale ever what a fucking win.

Well freaky little man you are kinda fine when not talking to little boys in the dark of night ngl

AJDVSNDVNDBR CENTIPIDE FOR PRESIDENT WOULD VOTE‼️

Oooojlhhlhndnbggvt WORM GETTING EM LADIES FUCK YEAH 🥴

God this is so pretty everyone is thriving and they are friends and it was all real and shit omfg 😭💞

The ending song is so good too... 🥺

OH POST CREDITS!!

Abuse revenge heaven 💀

WELL WASN'T THAT FUCKING LOVELY? MAYBE THE BRI ISH AINT SO BAD AFTER ALL... Time for some final thoughts! 😁💞

AAAAUAHGNGNMGBGMGNGNGH BROOOTHER WHEN I TELL YOU I LOVED THIS MOVIE... IT WAS SO FUCKING LOVELY.

I did not only love every single fucking character present here, but the designs and the music and the animation god, AND HELL THE HUMOR TOO!! Fucking caught me off guard more than once ngl, but it was great 💀💀

And of course, the thing i loved THE most is having a found family not be separated... :']]

I think this movie does a great job portraying abuse and trauma and PTSD in a very child friendly manner, the lessons it puts there are quite lovely tbh. I wish we could've seen more characters get developed tho!! The two who got the most relevancy and depth were grasshopper and centipide which tbh is ok bc i love them but a little lesson from all of the characters would've been nice too... 🥺

There's, however, a big elephant in the room that i gotta acknowledge, and that is the aunts. As y'all might have realized, my carnal desire for them surpasses my logical brain and makes me overlook the abuse they put James thru which quite honestly parallels my own real one.

I'm speaking w a British accent in my mind alright fucking cringe anyway, aside from the most obvious reason, that being my rampant lust and homosexual tendencies, i wish they hadn't tried to make the characters ugly = evil.

Like idk i think they were kinda bland! I couldn't take their villainous portrayal seriously when most of the time it was like "haha isn't it devious how ugly these old women are??" Like no i need them to ruin me.

I think I'm just a bit disoriented i think blood might not be coming to my head, y'all tell me if I'm making any sense...

Anyway, overall, is this movie good? OF THE BEST I'VE SEEN IN A WHILE if not for a bit of lost potential it would have been absolutely perfect!! And yesss, of course i recommend it!! It's such a fun time w such a rewarding end :'33 truly wonderful 🦗

[guessmonsta]

It's Tendou and his s/o's first Christmas that they're going to spend together at his parent's place and Tendou is super nervous because his whole family is just straight up fucking WILD and he's more afraid that his s/o won't like his family more than he's afraid that his family won't like his s/o, because who's he kidding, she's an absolute gem. Just a cute little scenario for the holidays :) I'm so glad you're back my patron saint

Hi my alias is Bee and after being gone for nearly half a year I’m back and swinging with a 5,000 word Tendou fic yes’m (Also there are a bunch of family head-canons in here for example- Tendou has two sisters and one of them is gay because why not right it’s 2017)

Also Merry Christmas Eve to all you nerds who celebrate it!

Satori stood at his bathroom vanity with his head in his hands. The sink had been running for a while now, unused, because he was far too lost in thought to even realize it was still running. His hair gel was open on the counter, and his toothbrush sat prepared right next to it. He had to get ready, he knew he did, but he was unable to do anything besides stare at himself in the mirror, his vision blurry and skewed from not blinking since he had spaced out.

He must’ve been standing there for a while, minutes, even. The background noise that the running water provided threw him further off loop, and it wasn’t until the bathroom door opened and slammed into his back did he realize that __ had been knocking. When the door knob collided with his spine, he yelped, his hands flying from his hair to the vanity in front of him. It took him a moment to process what had happened before he could compose himself. In the mirror he saw his girlfriend’s face, pale and terrified, but washing over with relief when he made eye contact with her through it and smiled sheepishly.

“Satori, I was knocking forever.” She sighed, stumbling into the bathroom and hugging him from behind. “You worry me sometimes, you idiot.”

“I know, I know.” He had somehow managed to push out a fictitious laugh, and stood up straight. Now that Satori could finally look at himself properly, he noticed that his eye bags were a lot darker than usual.

“That was a really fake laugh, hun. Are you sure you’re okay? If you’re tired or anything I have no problem just pulling up a map to your parents place and driving, if that’s what you’d like.” Hearing the mentioning of his parents place made Satori’s heart stop all over again. That’s what had started his panicking in the first place– The Holidays.

It had been established for months that this was going to be the first Christmas that Satori and __ were going to spend together. In years past they had either parted their ways to visit their respective families, or had just spent it together in the comforts of their own apartment. Although, this year, __ had insisted that they visit Satori’s family. He had met hers before, on countless occasions, actually, but she had never gotten an opportunity to meet his. It wasn’t that Satori had any problem with his family meeting __, she was incredible, he knew without a doubt that they would love her. It was quite the opposite, really. It was a miracle that she put up with him on a day to day basis, but there was no way that she could ever tolerate the likes of his family.

Satori placed his hands on  __’s and gently pushed them away. She shuffled up next to him and sighed, taking his face in her hands instead.

“You look worried.”

“I am worried.”

“Oh?” She smiled, kissing him gently on his lower lip. “Am I really that terrible? Is your family gonna hate me or something?”

“Yeah, absolutely filthy. I can picture their disgust as we speak.” He joked, rolling his eyes and kissing her back. She let out an amused huff.

“Really, Satori, tell me whats wrong. You know you can’t keep shit from me.”

“Unfortunately.” He released himself from her again and grabbed the gel off the counter. He figured if he was just going to stand around, he might as well get ready. There was no escaping this situation, now.

“__, if I’m being honest with you, my family’s a mess.” He sighed, running his gelled hands through his hair. “If we had a sitcom, it would be called, “Terminate The Tendous” ‘cause we need to be stopped.”

“Please.” She hummed, “I doubt you lot are that bad. You’ve met my family before, there’s no way you can get worse than that.”

“Please, you.” Satori finished gelling back his hair and ran his hands under the water, scooting past __ to dry them. “Compared to mine, they’re nothing.”

“Care to tell me what’s so bad about your family? Are they like, serial killer bad or, Aunt Mina has a pinterest addiction bad?” She asked, moving out of Satori’s way as he positioned himself in front of the mirror again.

“Both, but not really both at the same time?” Satori shrugged. “Ah, listen, I’ve dreaded the day that I’d have to tell you this, but I think it’s about time that I’ve told you about them.” He said, in the most pretentious storytelling voice he could muster. She laughed at this, smiling up at him through the mirror.

“Dude, finally. What have we been dating for, five years now? We have our own house plants together but I don’t even know your mom.”

“House plants don’t talk back.” He muttered, barley loud enough for her to hear.

Satori took his time brushing his teeth, __ sitting on the covered toilet seat waiting for him to finish. She looked adorable, he thought. She was wearing a dark green velvet dress that flattered her eyes, her hair in soft curls around her shoulders, bangs being held back with a black hair bow. She was the image of pureness that his family devoured.

“So, I have two sisters, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, the oldest follows me on Instagram, I think.”

“Gre-eat. That would be Hana. She’s five years older than us, and three years older than my other sister, so she’s pretty much always thought she was the absolute shit.” Tendou sighed, trying to talk and adjust his dark green tie, to compliment __’s dress, at the same time. “That, and she happens to be the tallest in the family.”

“Taller than you?” __ gaped, looking up at him from the toilet seat. “How? And why? Can a sister lend me some?” Tendou smiled at this, although it was bitter.

“Never tell her that, please. She’s 6’5, and if you’ve ever seen any of her pictures, she looks pretty normal, but that’s only ‘cause she’s standing next to her husband, who’s 6’11. By the time I was in first grade, she was in fifth, and we barely crossed paths unless she was outside for lunch, and I was at the playground, or something. She had reached 5’2 by then and since I was me, a disgusting little mushroom boy–”

“You were not a disgusting little mushroom boy.” __ interrupted.

“I was a disgusting little mushroom boy. Anyway, she would always scope the playground to see if kids were bullying me and would throw them into the wood chips if they were. You would think people would stop messing with me since I had fucking Goliath following me around, but nah, being protected by my older sister made me even more susceptible to bullying, I guess. But yeah, to this day she still thinks she’s my actual Lord and Savior, so expect for her to examine you until your ears bleed, I’m sorry.”

“She sounds awesome, hun. I think her and I are gonna get along just fine.” She laughed, and Satori grimaced.

“Ye-eah, I’m sure you will.”

“What about your other sister? Is she as bad too?” __ added, sarcastically.

“Worse.”

“Worse? Oh no, don’t tell me, she works at an animal shelter, right? Donates to the church? Helps starving children in third world countries?”

“Harhar, very funny.”

“Thanks!”

“My sister, Aya, is her name, was a wrestler in high school. She went to a different high school than me and Hana, at birth she had somehow dodged the Tendou family gene of creepy ass eyes and permanent scrawniness, so I think she kept her distance from us ‘cause she didn’t want to be known as related to us, y’know.”

“I doubt it, Satori. And could you stop being self deprecating?”

“Never. But, she was, and still is, this really pretty girl, y’know, always looks really well put together, but the moment she opens her mouth– it’s hard to tell the difference between her and some fifty year old guy at a bar on Friday night.”

“Quite the analogy.” __ added.

“I’m not joking. She’s horrible. You think I don’t have a filter?  She’s been kicked out of public places more times than I can count on my two hands. She was always a gem though. Despite being kind’ve an ass and pretty immature until her twenty first birthday, she knew how to beat people up, and got like, a million trophies for it, so my parents never really said anything about it.”

“Y’know, Satori, you’re making me think one of your sisters is gonna have me in a choke-hold while the other asks me for my social security number.” __ laughed, finally standing up and helping Satori fix his tie. He hadn’t even noticed that he completely unknotted the thing.

“I won’t be surprised. I’m so nervous, __, I’m so sorry. Is it too late to cancel and just go visit your parents instead?”

“Yes, its too late! We already promised that we’d spend the holidays with your parents, and spring break with mine. Besides, they live six hours away from here, we’re not prepared for that.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry-y.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry! I have a thick skin, you know! I’m not gonna die. Watch–”

Satori had zoned out from what __ had said next. He watched her as she fixed his tie, glancing up at him every so often and smiling wider. He felt his heart squeeze again. He hated to be overdramatic, he really did, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was throwing his beautiful, little beacon of light into a gladiator stadium, and his sisters were just the opening act.

“Satori, are you really that embarrassed of your family? If they’re anything like you, I’m sure they’re incredible.” __’s words snapped him out of his daze again. He shook his head, and kissed her forehead after she tightened his tie up.

“Honestly, I’m kinda being dramatic.” He shrugged, pushing __ out of the tight enclosure of the bathroom and proceeding to follow her out. “But they don’t know when to stop. I’m sure you’ll find Aya hysterical, her and her girlfriend both– but I know she’s gonna ask you all those weird-ass questions like-”

“Are you a virgin?”

“Exactly.”

“Please, I’ve been preparing myself for these questions since we first started dating.” __ scoffed, slipping on ballet flats over stocking clad feet at the doorstep. Satori sighed, leaning against the frame of the door. He watched her pick up the two carry-on bags, to which Satori hurriedly grabbed from her. She smiled up at him wordlessly for a moment, then shook her head.

“I’m gonna be fine, Satori. Oh! And I’m driving. I don’t want your nervous ass to crash before I ever get to meet your gem of a family.”

She threw a heavy pea-coat over her shoulders before shuffling out of the door, Satori close to follow. As she started the car up, he tossed the luggage into the trunk, then filing into the passenger seat. She already had the music going, one hand on the steering wheel with the other creeping towards his thigh. She winked at him, and for the first time today, he genuinely laughed. __ smiled, for that was her plan all along, and gave his thigh a squeeze.

“I can’t believe we’re going to meet your family and you’re the nervous one.”

“Okay, okay, I’m not as nervous anymore.” Satori interrupted, placing his hand over __’s. “Ju-ust slightly perturbed. How about that?”

“Better, I guess. You still have two hours to worry your little heart out.”

Tendou sighed, fluttering his eyes shut and leaning back on the car seat. A song he didn’t know the name of droned in the background, just loud enough for him to hear, but not loud enough for him to focus on. To keep himself awake, he drew lazy circles into the palm of __’s hand, to which he heard her giggle about. He could feel his pulse in his neck, despite still being two blocks away from his own apartment. He had a feeling that this week was going to be a long one.

Satori promised himself that he would stay awake, but somehow he dozed off. __ said he was out cold twenty minutes after they left, which wasn’t odd, she said, many people crash due to stress. Satori had a hard time believing that, though. If anything, he expected himself to be puking out the window once they hit the highway. They were ten minutes away from his parents, now, and Satori was fixing his hair in the small overhead mirror of __’s car.

“Sorry I wasn’t awake to bother you.” He said, out of the blue. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw __ shake her head.

“It’s fine, it gave me time to lip-sync along to the Arctic Monkeys without being made fun of.”

Satori would’ve responded to her comment much faster, if it weren’t for the fact that __ was taking the exit straight towards the small town he grew up in. A nervous, agitated groan left him the moment she started down the road that lead towards his neighborhood.

“Does being here regurgitate bad childhood memories or something? Or do you really just hate your family?”

“Both.”

“You’re gonna have to take me to Shiratorizawa while we’re here, or at least drive me by the campus. That and like, Wakatoshi’s old house. Maybe even Tooru’s, too.”

“Oh, it’s that a little creepy, __ dearest?”

“No! I’m just saying, I’ve never been around here before, I wanna know how you and all our friends grew up, that’s all.”

“It’s literally nothing special, it’s farm, more farm, small convenience store, high school, farm, farm, bigger high school, convenience store. It’s like this for about ten miles.” __ laughed. She grew up further up the coast, and when they first met, she told him that she had “never seen a pig in person.” Satori made note to take her to see one of those while they were out here, too.

Ten minutes had passed quicker than Satori preferred. Before he knew it, they were pulling into his neighborhood, and with each turn __ took, the more and more anxious he got. He didn’t mind vocalizing his anxiety, either, sighing melodramatically each time the GPS blurted out another demand.

“Y’know Satori, this would be a lot easier if you could just tell me which way to turn to get to your house.” She added, lowering the volume without even looking at her device.

“I know, but I don’t wanna.”

“Whelp, seems like you don’t have to anymore.” She laughed, stopping almost abruptly and taking a sharp turn into a driveway, his driveway. He whined, sinking lower into his seat and covering his face with his hands.

“__, please don’t do this to me, my beautiful little angel baby, you’ll get torn apart in there.”

__ said nothing in reply, kicking her car door open and kissing Satori on his forehead, the softness of her lip balm leaving an imprint.

“C’mon, ya big baby. I’m sure your parents are waiting.”

Satori nodded, unbuckling himself and hesitantly exiting the car.  __ was waiting for him, so he took her hand in his own, and walked her up the pavement towards his doorstep.

Before either one of them could even reach the door, however, it had already been slammed open, incoherent, excitable female voices ripping through the house. A brunette woman popped her head out and gasped, then all but screamed as she darted out the door into the snow in sock clad feet and straight for __. __ almost yelped as she was suddenly picked up by the woman, who was taller than her by a foot, at least. She couldn’t quite tell what the woman was rambling on about, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Satori blushing profusely into the palm of his hand, shaking his head and waiting for whoever this woman may be to put her down. All __ could do in that moment was hug the woman back, despite not even knowing her. She had to be one of Satori’s sisters, or at least she assumed so. At first glance, __ saw that she was a tall woman, not as tall as Satori, but she was up there. She had tumbling brown hair that fell down towards her waist, and when __ placed her hands on the woman’s back, she realized she had quite the muscular build. She figured it had to be Aya, she fit Satori’s description quite well.

When she was finally set down by the woman, __ noticed her eyes. Like Satori said, they weren’t as wide, or tired as his, they were almond shaped and beautiful. They were light green and complemented the freckles on her cheeks.

“Oh my god, you’re so adorable.” Aya was beaming, her hands traveling from __’s back to her shoulders, then eagerly grasped __’s hands. “I’m Aya, Satori’s older sister, it’s so nice to meet you, sweetheart.”

__ giggled and shot a glance up at Satori, who was shifting his weight from leg to leg awkwardly in the corner. It shocked him to see her smile, genuinely, and not out of sheer nerves.

“I’m __, it’s really nice to get to meet you after all this time, Aya.”

“Oh, this little idiots been talking about you for years.” Aya rasped, shuffling over the snow to pull her brother into a choke-hold momentarily. “You wouldn’t believe the things that came out of this kid’s mouth before y’all were even dating.” She laughed, ruffling with Satori’s hair before pushing him away, then pulled __ into another hug. She heard Satori sigh, then mutter something about getting the bags from the trunk. Aya paid no mind to it, and lead __ into the house, never losing her grip on the former’s hand.

The moment __ stepped foot into Satori’s house, she couldn’t help but smile. It was very his taste, she thought, from the murals of mountains of the walls to the several misplaced christmas lights hanging across the staircase, it wouldn’t be very hard for her to classify this place as ‘Tendou’.

Aya had lead her into the kitchen, next, exclaiming at the top of her lungs to, “Look at Satori’s girlfriend!” __ felt her cheeks warm up slightly, the exposure not necessarily agitating her, but definitely embarrassing her. A woman with short brown hair examined her next. She had the same, sleepy ruddy eyes as Satori had. __ noticed her eyebrow quirking upwards in the same way Satori’s did when he was examining something, and she found it hard not to call it cute. __ also noticed that nobody else in the house was red-headed like Tendou was. The middle aged man and woman standing by the stove, presumably Satori’s parents, we’re both brunettes, as well as both the sisters, despite who __ thought was Hana, whose hair was a bit lighter than the rest. Despite that one key factor, they all definitely had a familiar resemblance. __ couldn’t help but smile.

“Hi, uhm, I’m sorry. Satori’s still outside ‘cause I was kinda mauled.” __ stammered, and Aya laughed, her free hand slapping her on the back. “I’m __, it’s really nice to get to meet you guys, finally.”

Everybody had gotten up on their feet, and came over to the place where __ stood. Satori had come back with the luggage, and shuffled over to __’s side. He protectively nudged Aya out of the way and replaced her hand with his own. __ looked up at him for a moment, a smile toying on her face.

“They’re great.” She mouthed, before his mother pulled her into a hug.

Satori watched as his mother started talking her ear off, and he started blushing again. He knew tonight was going to be too long– full of repressed memories and everyone taking a stab at him to see how embarrassed he could get, and how fast.

Meanwhile __ found herself being crushed in another grasp, and wondered how everyone in this family had such strong forearms.

“Satori’s so in love with you…” His mother muttered into her ear, and for some reason, despite knowing this for years, __ felt herself get fuzzy. She merely hummed, not knowing how to reply.

“You really make him so happy… when he talks about you I swear I’ve never seen him happier, except for maybe volleyball in highschool, but that’s a different story.”

__ laughed, breaking the hug with his mother and giving him a look. He was talking with Hana, now, who really was as tall as Tendou said she was. Although, she noticed he kept sending her nervous glances every so often, as if monitoring the conversation she was having.

“It really is a pleasure to finally get to meet you, Mrs. Tendou. I really wanted to meet you before, but Satori was more nervous about me meeting you lot than I actually was.”

“Oh of course he was, that little stinker.” His mother shook her head and smiled fondly, first at __, then at Satori. “And please, don’t call me Mrs. Tendou, call me Mom.”

Satori was deep in conversation with Hana, at this point. She was asking him how school was going, how paying rent was going, and everything in between about being an adult. She hadn’t asked any questions about __, yet, but he supposed she was saving those for later. There was a moment of brief pause in their conversation, and that’s when Satori heard it, the mom comment. Suddenly his heart stopped, and Hana must’ve picked it up too, because she laughed under her breath and nudged him in the ribs.

“Oh… my go-od…” Satori muttered, slinking up to __’s slide and throwing an arm over her shoulder.

“Hi Mama.” Satori butted in, throwing his other arm around his mom and kissing her chastely on the cheek.

“Hi honey! I was just talking to your angel of a girlfriend over here.”

“I know.” He muttered through clenched teeth. She shot him a knowing, motherly look, then patted him on the back.

“We’re having dinner in ten minutes, why don’t you two go throw your things up in Satori’s old bedroom? Just so it’s out of the way for later.” His mother suggested.

“On it.” Satori nodded at __ to follow him towards the front door and the stairs, but he noticed that Hana had stretched a leg out to block the hall.

“Need any help?” She said, just sarcastically enough for it to pass as a nice gesture. “Y’know, at least one of you looks like you’d need help.”

Satori knew exactly what Hana was going at, and he hated it. He shot her a look, then glanced over at __, who had picked up on her all but selfless gesture as well. Instead of shooting a witty response back or defending herself like she always had with Satori, he was surprised to watch her cover her mouth, then laugh. This must’ve caught Hana off guard, too, because she stood up straight in the doorway and silently went to pick up a bag from the mudroom.

“That wasn’t all that funny.” He said, nudging __ in the hip once Hana was up the stairs.

“I know, it wasn’t, but that’s such a you thing to say?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dunno. You. Your sense of humor, your way of speaking. I absolutely love it.”

The ten minutes had come and gone. The bags were placed in Satori’s old bedroom– not without being relentlessly teased about the anime posters hanging above his bed, though. Hana thought it would be funny to show __ just how many figures he had stock piled in his closet, to which __ didn’t really mind. Hana was doing it to tease her, really. Asking her questions about the weird habits Satori has, and how she deals with it. Poking fun at his appearance just to see what __ would do. (In that point in time, she just dismissed all the nerdy things she teased him about and shook her head obviously when Hana mocked his appearance.) It really amused Satori, how Hana could be so protective about him when it came to other people teasing him, but absolutely ruthless when it came to her teasing him herself.

Sitting at the dinner table, Satori found it harder to eat than usual. __ was doing just fine, though. She was having an offhand conversation with Aya in between bites of a roll, covering her mouth with her hand politely as she spoke. If it weren’t for the drastic physical differences between __ and the rest of his family, a stranger would’ve thought that this was __’s family, and Satori was the awkward boyfriend.

The rest of the conversations at the table fell quiet, everybody focused on their own thing to actually slip a conversation through. Well, that’s what Satori had thought, until Aya cleared her throat and, slowly but surely shouted, “Satori? When are you gonna pop the question already?”

Satori stiffened in his seat. If he didn’t have an appetite before, he definitely didn’t have one now. He noticed __ tense up too, covering her mouth with her hand and averting her eyes from the table to her lap. Yes, this was what he had been afraid of.

Aya’s girlfriend hit her on the arm. “You can’t just ask that at the dinner table!” She hissed, only for Aya to shrug

“I do what I want. The kids a keeper. I mean, just look at her.

__ didn’t look so great in the moment, though. Her eyes were blown wide, darting everywhere besides the faces of his family members.

“Aw, she doesn’t look too great.” Hana chuckled. “Does that mean that she doesn’t want to get married?”

Satori didn’t know whether to tell off Aya, Hana, or get his mom involved. He would’ve gone with his mother, but she looked amused, almost as if she was going to throw in a comment of her own. His dad couldn’t care less– this was the type of situation he’d call, “Lady Talk.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to get married to Satori.” __ added, uncovering her mouth. “It’s just that you guys rea-ally have a knack for saying embarrassing things at embarrassing times. Jeez!”

“You sure that’s all?” Hana teased.

“Yes, that’s all. I get that you guys are all real protective of him, with his past and him being the youngest and everything, but I can assure you that I’d never do anything to purposefully hurt him.” __ shrugged, leaning over in her seat to peck Satori on the cheek. “And for the record, we happen to get along ‘cause I’m a nerd too, so your plan to embarrass him kinda failed. There isn’t much that we haven’t shared with each other… ah… I hope that answers some of your other questions, too.” She winked at Hana, who’s smirk had faded into a dumbfound frown.

It was Satori’s turn to flush red now, he couldn’t bring himself to look over at his girlfriend, and only focused of Hana’s face. He was expecting another insult, or possibly a curse, but all she did was hold her hand up slowly, and high-fived __ from across the table.

“Atta girl, that’s what I like to hear.” Hana shouted, slapping __’s hand just a little too hard for both __’s and Satori’s liking.

“Great, great. I mean no disrespect or anything towards you, by the way. I really respect that are aren’t careless about your brother decisions.”

“Really? Thank you! Aya’s right, pop the question!” Hana shot a glance at Satori, who had buried his head in his hands at this point. Satori should’ve known all along that he shouldn’t be worried about his family embarrassing __. He should’ve known that the tables would’ve turned right back on him.