#anyway i feel like everyone praises me for stuff that's very easy for me but i never get praise for what's actually difficult

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

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[luvvyouforever]

Hello, could I request Stardew Valley Sam relationship headcanons with a female reader? Sfw and nsfw, please and thank you!

absolutely! <3

sdv sam boyfriend headcanons ౨ৎ

content: fluff, cheesy things, nicknames, cuddling, overstimulation, dom/sub mention, nudes, praise, fantasies. author's note: i've never actually romanced or married sam in sdv but i did research for this so i hope it's somewhat accurate hehe

sfw:

-loves doing cheesy stuff with you! like if you see any internet couple trend you wanna do, he would jump at the opportunity to do with you!! is just totally not afraid to show his love for you, even if it can be a little corny at times.

-he probably calls you "babe" and "baby" a lot! they're easy pet names that roll of his tongue easily. tbh, he probably uses them more than your actual name! if he's addressing you all flirtatiously, he uses "cutie." i think he also likes coming up with a very special nickname for you that comes from an inside joke.

-will totally write and dedicate songs to you, are you kidding me?? and oh my god he's so cute and cheesy with it too. like, when you guys have just started to flirt and get closer to each other, you're hanging out at sunset on the pier or he's watching you excitedly play video games on his bedroom floor and he looks at you all puppy-eyed and says, "i could write a song about you." and it becomes a phrase he uses for those extra special moments in life.

-loves watching you support him and his band. seeks you out in the crowd, points to you, and makes eye contact with you through the whole show. pleaseee make a t-shirt with the band name on it and wear it around him. he's never been more in love.

-when he's working at joja, he's totally the kind to have you come over and just hang around him while he's at work. does morris find it incredibly annoying that the farmer trying to put him out of business is distracting one of his only workers? yes, but are you gonna stop? no, your bf needs company!

-speaking of keeping him company, his love language is def quality time. feels so loved when you just want to spend time with him, regardless of what you're doing. he's so happy just to have you in his room while he's playing games or playing the guitar and you can work on whatever you'd like! just loves your presence and really values it.

-would also be incredibly happy if you got along with abigail and sebastian. those are his best friends and bandmates! he invites you to their practices and hang outs and he feels his heart grow a little wider when you're laughing with everyone like you've been there the whole time.

-likes doing things around the farm with you! he might not be the best at some of the chores (aka he once pulled up an entire patch of carrots thinking they were ready to be harvested...they were not), but he's gonna offer to help anyway! maybe give him the job of petting all your cows and pigs and chickens, or collecting the honey from your beehives.

-learns your favorite song on guitar and plays it for you when you've been having a bad day. he's so sweet.

-is such a cuddle bug. before he moves into the farmhouse, he always sadly leaves you at night and looks back at you with a pout on his face the whole walk home. you laugh at his antics from the porch, but really, you get the best sleep when you both are a tangled mess of limbs with the blankets folded beyond recognition.

-he is such a typical skater bf. tries to teach you to skateboard and holds your arms really steady as he pulls you along the sidewalk outside of his house. he's so encouraging and keeps telling you, "look! you're doing it! you're doing so good!" if you fell, he would ask if you're okay and if there's no injuries, he will let out a little giggle.

-he really wants to support you when you go into the mines. even goes as far as offering to come with you! he lasts through the slimes and the flying bug things, but the minute he sees the ghosts and the skeletons and the golems, he's finding the next elevator and leaving immediately. shouts "you got this babe!" from the top of the cave.

-loves putting you in and see you in his clothes. if it's cold, he likes wrapping you up in his jacket. if you're sleeping over, will not hesitate to offer one of his shirts to wear. if you're in the saloon watching him play pool, he offers you his denim jacket to wear. it's not really a possessive thing, but more so a "ohmygodyoulooksocute" thing.

-gets cuteness aggression with you, tbh. like when you've woken up in the morning engulfed in oversized hoodies and sweatpants with a tired pout on your lips, he just wants to bite you and squeeze you.

-forgets everything. poor baby. like his memory is just awful and he won't forget the chords to your favorite song or how to do a trick on the skateboard that impressed you early on, but he will forget to set out food to thaw for dinner and he will forget to put the newest batches of wine into the shipping box.

-really finds your connection with his family to be incredibly important. like he would be okay if you didn't click well with his friends, but if you weren't playing with vincent on the living room floor or helping jodi wash the dishes after dinner, he would be a little more than turned off.

-if you're the type of person to mess with lewis and steal his purple shorts and use them in every event, he's right behind you. giggles when the only thing you've brought for the showcase is his shorts and even stalls him while you place them in the box. loves getting all the town gossip from you too!

-sam just really wants to be with someone who appreciates his presence, who is willing to be a part of his life, and someone he can have a lot of fun with. he just loves loving you and he makes sure you know that too.

nsfw:

-i don't think sam's got a lot of experience tbh. i don't think he's entirely new to the concept of sex, as in i don't think he's a virgin, but he's just on the younger side in a small town where everybody knows everybody!

-that's not to say that he doesn't know what he's doing with you. in a more modern stardew valley world, he's likely consumed at least some kind of pornography (probably in normal sdv too, idk what they get up to at nightime), and also knows what gets him going.

-he's also a quick learner and adaptable. if you don't like something he's doing, he wants you to guide him to where you want him. once you've taught it to him once, it becomes second nature after that.

-is really allllll about pleasure during sex. he can't really put up with teasing or edging too long because damn it, let the man make you feel good! would much prefer to overstimulate both you and himself than deny both of your pleasures.

-in fact, he actually thinks overstimulation is hot both for you and him. you'd have to tug him off of you because he just never wants you to stop feeling good. he thinks seeing your scrunched up face and hearing your intense moans is soooo hot. as for him, he loves when you keep touching him even after he's came. whether it's with your hand or mouth or pussy, he doesn't care. he loves the way it feels.

-is such a sucker for lingerie. when he's not with you in bed and really needs to jerk off, he imagines stripping you down, starting with your pants, then moving to his band t-shirt that he throws to the side, revealing the prettiest, lacy set underneath that makes his mouth water.

-definitely fucks to music and even makes a CD to play while you guys are having sex. it's a combination of songs he loves, songs that fit the mood, and songs you love. he just likes having the background noise accompanying your moans.

-can really either be more dominant or more submissive. i see him as a very sweet, soft dom though. he's calling you all kinds of cute names and adorning your body with a billion kisses and encouraging you to cum for him or to cum another time and then he's caressing your body really gently while he slides in. as for being submissive, he just thinks there's something so hot about a strong woman taking lead. he'll listen to you like a puppy and thrives on praise.

-speaking of praise, the man lives and breathes it. tell him how good he's doing, let him know that you're feeling fucking amazing. in turn, he'll spill compliment after compliment, so many, in fact, that you have to tell him to hush.

-kinda thinks the thrill of you and him fucking in his bedroom is so hot. it's late at night, the rest of the house is definitely asleep, but you're giggling and sneaking in through the window and kissing him so his moans are subdued.

-i think sam really needs to be with someone who thinks hands/fingers are hot, can i say that? like the man plays guitar so his fingers are long and slender and i feel like he's got these nice veins that pop out when he plays, and he blushes when you can't stop staring at them, imagining all the things those hands could be doing right then.

-regardless of whether he's feeling more dominant or submissive, he's so incredibly needy. when he's in the mood, he's touching you all over from the minute the both of you are home to the minute you fall asleep after having sex. he's whispering pleases and giving you these big puppy dog eyes. he's all pouty when you have to get him to stop touching you, like when he's at work or when you're at the saloon.

-if you imagine a modern sdv with phones, he's such a sucker for nudes. before he moves in, when you're in separate bedrooms, you'll surprise him with a pic of you in his t-shirt lifted up to show what's underneath. he responds within seconds, telling you how pretty you are. it just grows from there. he's soooo the kind of guy to send you videos of him touching himself. and cumming too.

-really loves you riding him i think. he's a boob guy and likes having them right there in front of his face. he's running his hands all over you and groping you and throwing his head into your chest. i think he's also down to try 69ing. both of you get pleasure while also giving pleasure??? he's all for it.

-before you actually make a move and have sex with him, he's all about sloppy makeouts in his bed. you've snuck into his room after jodi went to bed and he has you perched in his lap, making out to some kind of soft rock music.

-is such a sucker for hickies too. while he does try to hide them the day after, he just love seeing your handiwork in the mirror the morning after. he gets needy again seeing the huge purple and red splotches on his neck and touches them while reminding himself how he got them. would send you a picture too with a winky face and a cheeky comment hehe.

-i think he has a lot of fantasies in his head. like he adores you for how you are, but when he's by himself, he's imagining these scenarios like rockstar x fan backstage or, dare i say, professor x student (w you as the professor of course). he'll be so ashamed to admit these out loud, but once you encourage him enough, he gets so excited and makes it an entire production.

hope you enjoyed! (i might need to romance sam on my next farm)

[cindersnows]

i think as viewers we find it easy to sit back and judge each character until their motivations are explained to us in detail like with purple and king and chosen. even with victim its fairly easy to guess a portion of why she is doing this. and that's partially because avam is just made to be like that so all audiences can understand it and why the characters do what they do, and also partially because it's a little difficult to do more subtle storytelling when you can only express character feelings through their body language (and the body language has to be fairly exaggerated so that everyone can understand how the character is feeling).

so then as a result when we see green falling deep into the hole of social media it's easy to scoff and judge and say come on green, do better. we see it as him just getting too cocky again- look at green with his ego and his need to seem cool, he's sucking up to people again so he can get validation. and people understand that, they're even comparing his arc to purple, but they're forgetting to actually see things from his point of view.

like yeah. green was mean to yellow! and that was a kind of assholey thing to do, agreeing with people when they say yellow didn't do much. but like people do stupid shit all the time, especially to get approval. green hearting mean comments wasn't him on his villain arc, he probably barely thought about it. haven't you ever done anything without thinking or made a joke in bad taste. honestly it's a little ironic how quick people were to jump on him when he did something kind of mean, it reminded me of actual cancel culture! fascinating shit. we really are a part of the story.

anyways green started off as the weakest. he tries his best to be good at other things, first building, then music, but for some reason whenever he does well in something his friends get jealous or upset. (he pours himself into that thing and unintentionally ignore s or snaps at his friends--- its a repeating pattern at this point). it's mostly because their competitive spirit, something which is seen in a lighthearted manner but has gotten them killed or hurt on multiple occasions and i feel like they're going to have to address that at some point. whenever green sets boundaries, they're ignored, even if cg think they're just acting in the greater good.

hell, even purple, we've barely seen them interact after s3- who's to say purple wouldn't just scoff at him as well? she's already not very experienced with actual friendships (based on the way they just expected green to brush the betrayal off in parkour, they acted more like it was a small disagreement than a full on issue), so he may just assume this is how friends are.

basically the point of this is to say, no one ever celebrates his success. obviously he's competitive with his friends too, but having been at the bottom of the group from the start, he's visibly very insecure about this stuff, and having people attempt to kick him down during every success he gets (which he works very hard for) will lead to him needing validation from elsewhere. clearly, social media is supposed to give him this.

but like someone in the community pointed out, now he's appealing to hundreds of thousands of people instead of just 5 or 6. the praise is awesome, but seeing that people still have criticism of him just makes him throw himself into his work even more. it also probably functions as a form of escapism for him; he's so busy working, editing, writing, he barely even notices that his friends are avoiding him. it's possible he's purposely using youtube as a way to ignore his gut. anyways, blue's still willing to hang out and record with him, so what's the issue? (it's not as if blue is the least confrontational of the cg lol)

i have. been in this exact position. the moment you make anything, you're looking straight at the numbers. it becomes what you think of in the morning and during the creation process. you're skimming comments for keywords--- good, bad, more, less, etc. you listen even when you don't mean to. yeah maybe the guy was a little mean about one of my friends but ultimately it's just constructive criticism! it's not like she'll see this anyway. it's fine.

and yeah green needs to stop being so obsessive but i think he deserves to break down first. like what ash said--- he expresses his negative emotions the least out of everyone, he barely takes breaks, it's going to come crashing down. and i think when cg confront him about his behaviour he deserves to yell at them for the way he gets treated. it really hurts when all you are is the butt of the joke even when they mean it in a lighthearted way. if the arc just ends with green being knocked down a peg as usual, i will be very fucking upset because he's literally already at the bottom of the ladder, what more do you want?

[kale-of-the-forbidden-cities]

Just thinking about Fitz and Keefe. They're both so jealous of each other. It spiraled into more and more talking about fitz and vacker imperfections and stuff, enjoy :>

(I rambled out the draft on discord, but I did change a few things and add on a bit at the end, so if you feel like rereading it might make more sense now)

tw: breif mentions of ed, suicidal thoughts, and implied sh, but they're all like very brief and not descriptive just want to put a warning

Remember in Flashback when Sophie and Fitz were going all Fitzphie on Keefe's mind, and they found the memory of Alden telling Keefe he was proud?

Imagine it hurt so bad for Fitz when he watched that. Because Alden never says that to Fitz even when he came out on top, no matter how perfect he was, so why did Keefe get that kind of praise?

Keefe may have come out second to Fitz with Foxfire grades, but Fitz has always felt second to Keefe in everything. No matter how perfect he tries to be or how much of a people pleaser he is, it seems inevitable that everyone likes Keefe better anyway.

And how could they not? He's funny, he's messy, he's imperfect.

Fitz could never be like keefe. His family would hate him. But they still like Keefe better.

Alvar always liked Keefe better than his actual little brother. Even though Fitz looked up to Alvar more than anyone! He admitted that in Neverseen!

Alden told Keefe he was proud of him?? for coming in second? Even after all the studying and work Fitz put into being first, being top, being perfect, people always choose keefe, Which is one of the reasons Fitz was so insecure about Sophie spending a lot of time with Keefe while she and Fitz were dating, he was scared she was going to leave him for Keefe, like people always do, because he's just better. he's nicer, he doesn't lash out at people, he doesn't have as much pressure on him because he never cared about pleasing his parents.

AND SHE DID! Sophie did leave him for Keefe. Even though Fitz promised to take things at her pace. Even though he said he'd wait. But it was the match lists that ended up breaking them apart. But what was Fitz supposed to do?? Not care about the match? There had never been a Vacker bad match, and Fitz beign the first one, after everything Alvar did and how much all the Vackers already hate these five in particular, it would bring a whole new level of shame on the family. Not just him, but Biana and Alden and Della too.

Keefe is allowed to not care about this stuff, because he's not perfect. Fitz is so, so, so jealous of Keefe because he GETS TO BE IMPERFECT. HE'S ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES. He's allowed to feel things.

Keefe's parents are awful, Fitz's parents are fine. Anytime Fitz dares to think "hey maybe my parents are manipulating or using me or putting unrealistic expectations on me" he also remembers that he has it GOOD. He's so lucky compared to everyone else. So he has no right to be upset about anything.

In Flashback, Fitz actually says something like this to Sophie: Sophie had to grow up with humans, Keefe has his whole thing with his parents, Dex was bullied for being the son of a bad match, Tam and Linh were banished… so he's had it easy! He has no right to feel sad when his life is just. so. perfect.

And the thing is, everyone thinks his life is perfect. Especially Keefe! Keefe is always talking about how the Vackers are perfect and lucky and he wishes he was one, when inside, Fitz would secretly rather be Keefe. Even with the whole everything with his parents, at least he doesnt have to be perfect! At least he's allowed to disappoint his parents, because theyre bad parents! And people always like him more. Without fail, Fitz has always felt second to Keefe. Every time he thinks he did good, people go to keefe for being imperfect.

Why did keefe get Alden's praise when he came out second in the level? Fitz barely slept to make sure he came out on top! If Fitz had gotten 98/100, he wouldn't be yelled at, but he'd get a disappointed talk. Why is it different with Keefe, who isnt even Alden's son, why does Alden like him more?

So Fitz ends up spiraling and obsessing more and more.

He can't be imperfect like Keefe, he wouldnt dare. So he does what he can to be as perfect as possible. Maybe he just needs to get a hold on his temper. Wait till he's behind closed doors to do anything but smile. Maybe he needs to eat less, get a perfect number on the scale. Maybe then he'll be good enough.

But he's never good enough.

Nothing he does will ever be good enough.

Keefe is reckless, imperfect, and messy. but even though Fitz does his best to not step a toe out of line, he does everything he can to be perfect...... They keep picking Keefe. without fail, no matter what.

Fitz knows he shohld accept defeat, accept that he'll never be good enough for anyone because of everything he's done to try to be perfect, but he can't stop trying.

He'll keep pushing himself, he'll stay up for hours studying, looking for clues about the Neverseen, going through Alvar's old room, he'll do ANYTHING for someone to say theyre proud of him. For someone to tell him that he did good, for once in his life, but they never notice.

It's never "Wow, you've been working so hard, good job!" or "You look good, did you lose weight?" or "Thanks for helping out, thanks for at least trying"

EVEN THOUGH HE DOES NOTHING BUT TRY. HE'S TRYING SO HARD

Instead, people are saying things like "You look awful, you've got bags under your eyes" (maybe he should put on some makeup to hide that) or "You never join us for dinner, it's like you hate us" (he does. he secretly hates his family so much) or "You've gotten so distant that you're ruining all your relationships with your friends and family" (what else is he supposed to do? they dont like him anyway)

He's driving himself insane over being perfect, only to have people like Sophie say that he's "too perfect." HE JUST CANT WIN!

He's not allowed to make mistakes, but maybe the worst mistake he made was being too perfect!

But how does he stop?

He can't. he trapped himself here. He's convinced he brought this on himself, but he cant get out of this cycle,

And nobody else will get him out,

Because he's not perfect enough.

If they havent noticed his struggling, maybe they dont care enough. But Fitz has gotten so good at hiding it. Nobody will notice until he passes out in the hall or just fucking kills himself because it's too much.

Fitz thinks, why is it that Keefe's allowed to be open about hating himself, and yet as soon as he makes the slightest self deprecating comment, he's suddenly "being dramatic" or "looking for attention"?

And we're back to talking about Keefe again.

None of this is Keefe's fault but he will still feel so so guilty. He felt Fitz's jealousy and hurt when they watched the memory of Alden saying he's proud of him.

Keefe and Fitz are constantly comparing themselves to each other, but by the end of the story, Keefe will be getting the help and support he needs to move on from it. Fitz never showed it and wouldnt dare admit it. So he does not.

Alden and Cassius both seem to prefer the other's son.

Even with Fitz and Biana. There's still a bit of jealousy there, because Biana is starting to seperate herself from her family, and start her own "Vacker Legacy," whatever that means.

After Nightfall, biana has grown more comfortable with herself, she is challenging what it means to be a Vacker, realizing that their family isn't all it's claimed to be. She has no shame in being her fun confident self, and crying when she needs to, and showing off her scars, while if Fitz showed his scars, he'd probably end up in a psych ward or something (or at the very least getting yelled at).

Fitz is jealous of Biana almost as much as he's jealous of keefe. She's never been quite perfect either, but it's always in a good way, isn't it? she's managed to keep her friends (not including the earlier books) and she used to be a bit of a jerk to people, so people can look back and see how far she's come.

Fitz has only gotten worse over the years, and he knows it. he hears what people say in the halls. their whispers hardly hide it. He's presented himself the way he wanted to be - perfect. But it gets harder and harder to hide his imperfections, and people only notice the bad things, don't they? They don't worry, they only judge.

Biana's probably dealing with her own issues, as everyone in the Vacker family does, but she can be more honest about it. She's starting to break the habit of plastering on a smile and saying everything's fine. She's working on her relationship with people. She's like reverse Fitz.

Fitz fears he's going down a similar path of destruction to Alvar, but he counters those fears by being Alden's perfect golden boy like he was always supposed to be. Alden has such a hold on Fitz, he'd do anything for him if Alden worded it right. Ever since he was a kid he always knew he'd do anything to please his parents, even if it was potentially dangerous. But nobody has seemed to even bat an eye when they hear how young Fitz was when he went to the Forbidden Cities. So he must be overreacting, right? Because how could Fitz's childhood be anything less than perfect?

See, when Sophie started learning a little bit about Fitz's past and how things were actually not perfect in the Vacker house, she started to ignore him more and more. She had her other reasons, but to Fitz, it seemed like she was seeing how imperfect he really was, and he's not everything she hoped for. So he panics, and does his best to prove to her that he is the perfect boyfriend she wanted, but it didn't matter anyway because... she. liked. Keefe. better.

And Fitz hates himself so much for wishing he was keefe because Keefe has it so bad with the legacy thing, he hates how he wishes his parents were worse so he didn't feel so guilty every time he made a mistake that would disappoint them.

Not one person in Fitz's life has ever chosen him first. With everyone. There's always someone they love more.

Della loves Biana more, Biana chooses her friends, Sophie chose Keefe, Keefe chose Sophie.

Alden seemed to favor Keefe, or his work, or even just the ways he uses Fitz instead of loving him as his son or as a person. Maybe that's why Fitz is so desperate to listen to Alden, to please him, because he's the only person who seems to even care, even if he only cares when he's doing good or being perfect.

Alvar would choose Biana or Keefe over Fitz any day, even before the betrayal. Fitz still looked up to him, despite his vague dislike for Fitz. He likes Biana better because he thinks she'd understand better what the Vacker legacy is, Because FITZ IS PART OF IT. HE'S ADDING ONTO IT, WHATEVER IT IS!

Yep that's all I have, feel free to add your own ideas :3

tags:

@fitz-avery-vacker @autistic-daydreamer

[gooobraghhh]

hello. chill if nah but do you want to share some advice for teasing/flirting w people? I know this guy, trans, loses it every time I call him "good boy" or "handsome" but I'm running out of tricks!! But he's so fun to teaseeee I don't wanna run out

I mean it depends on the person but if he’s into that kind of thing I can tell you other stuff he might enjoy, leaning more praise because of the examples you gave me. Pretty boy, an actual pet name like puppy, doggy, pet, or something, or like a overly cute nickname based on his name are some options to incorporate. Something id suggest is kind of dropping something teasing on him very suddenly in conversation. Innocently asking him to do something and then being like “aww what a good boy, you’re so good at doing what you’re told” is an easy example/ way to set it up. It’s just super cute to watch them get all surprised and clearly turned on.

Another thing I enjoy for teasing is like a demeaning compliment. Situation dependent but something like “it’s a good thing you’re so handsome/ cute because you’re not the brightest, puppy” after he like doesn’t understand a thing or makes a little mistake. Maybe if you helped him with something random you could say like “what would a pet like you do if I wasn’t here to take care of you”. These are just examples in the nature of what you’re going for, you’re gonna need think of little comments based on what’s happening in your conversation and cater them to what the guy likes. Also think about whats gender affirming when you’re choosing what to compliment and insult. For trans men I usually like to insult their intelligence since being like a dumb blockhead is just kind of a guy thing and usually won’t actually hurt any feelings, I’d lift them up in like appearance (handsome, cute, pretty etc), usefulness/obedience, (good job, good boy, what a good listener,you take it so well etc), or any other trait you know that specific person would enjoy being complimented on.

I’d also suggest possessiveness if everyone’s comfortable. My puppy, My pet, My pretty boy. Be a good boy for me, touch yourself for me, cum for me ( obviosuly more risqué but just add for me to most commands). I find most people enjoy the security and feeling of being wanted that comes with possessive talk and it just makes the praise all the more addictive.

Another thing is if hes responding very positively start making him directly participate. Who’s good boy?, you’re really so desperate for me huh? Tell me how bad you want it?. Just prompt him to respond. Either he does it and it’s adorable and embarrassing or he sputters out because answering is too embarrassing for him and you get to watch him get all flustered. Works well for some degration to, “you’re really such a slut huh?” Or something similar so that he either agrees or pathetically tries to deny it while still actively getting turned on which you can make fun of him for. It’s kind of little conversational trap.

Also keep in mind tone for all of this, I think that kind of condescending, patronizing, overly sweet tone is my go to. It’s kind of like everything he is doing is so cute but in a way thats actively demeaning to him. You don’t have to do that though. A Genuine sounding sweet voice can be very fun if you incorporate a bit more degration. Like someone sounding 100% sincerely nice while they’re calling you degrading names and making fun of you is super hot. Just find what works for the both of you. If it’s flirting over text then there’s only so much you can do but writing out the occasional condescending “awww” or telling him how irl you’re giggling at him can kind of bridge that gap. But like say those things honestly, don’t make up how you’re reacting just share it with him if it’ll add to the dirty talk.

Anyway hope this all helps, break that guys mind for me <3

[leonenjoyer69]

I present, from my new Lanyon drinks the potion AU (working on the name), Robert Lanyon and his HJ7 Alter ego!

Taking pictures of colored pencil drawings is the bane of my existence, bc lighting is so annoying.

Anyways!!! I've settled on the first name Elias, bc I feel like Henry would help name him and Elias is a letter off from Alias (which means a fake/pen name), so I thought that'd be funny :3 still working on the last name tho.

Yes, that is Hyde's vest that Elias is wearing. Henry gave it to him on his first night alive after clearing everything up with him and Robert about what just happened to him. Since he's near Hyde's size, Jekyll decided that he needed some clothes, at least temporarily, but Elias refuses to give it back now, despite having his own clothes. Why? Because Henry gave it to him, and he loves Henry so much. it's also Hyde's vest, who's part of Henry, so by proxy he's gotta love him too, right? How could he hate any part of Henry?

Unlike Hyde, Elias isn't some self-proclaimed evil incarnate. He's very easy to read emotionally and is very honest to everyone around him. He's very open about his feelings, which are generally very quick to change, especially towards those he cares most about (*cough* JekyllandHyde *cough*-) and he strives for praise. He likes accomplishing things and has more of a liking for "sciency stuff", he also recalls most of the doctor things that Lanyon learned from university and isn't deterred by gross things and blood. He shares hyde's wanderlust and will run around town with him, though Elias prefers parks and nature over the slums of London, and he also enjoys the rooftops.

Timeline wise, Lanyon accidentally drinks the potion after all the blackfog and queen Lucy stuff, when they "kidnap" Hyde. Specifically, it happens right before Jekyll dumps all the HJ7 down the drain- like, right before. Lanyon kinda interrupts him doing that. Henry reenters the room in the middle of Lanyon's transformation, so he's there when Elias kinda "wakes up".

Anyways, please please PLEASE ask me questions about him, I'd love to answer them :3 also, I'm currently working on a fic for this!! The first chapter is almost done I think, I just need time to actually sit down and write.

Also jejvkekkvke character design is SO HARD, shout out to people who do it all the time. Also apologies if the skin looks off in any way, I've never really used colored pencils to color any characters, much less any colored characters, so I kinda had to figure it out as I went lmao.

[toujokaname]

Mischief / Episode 1

Characters: Rinne, HiMERU, Kohaku, Niki

"But it's kinda creepy... Bein' loved or hated by folks I don't even know, in places I ain't never heard of. Guess that's just what bein' an idol's all about, huh?"

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[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]

Season: Spring

Location: Café Cinnamon

Rinne: Yo, yo~♪

Still as cozy as ever, huh? You PBB lovebirds! Shoutout to the most lovey-dovey couple of the year! Gyahahahaha! ☆

HiMERU: It's really quite the talent how you've mastered the art of making others feel so uncomfortable the instant you open your mouth.

Rinne: Haah? I'm praising you, so rejoice, will ya? Thanks to you two, Crazy:B's having a once-in-a-lifetime jackpot streak!

C'mon, look at my phone! The notifications just won't stop dinging!

HiMERU: Is it because you're getting canceled again?

Rinne: No waaay, I've already been locked outta all my accounts 'cause I kept getting canceled.

These notifs? They're job offers for us.

People're begging for Crazy:B to show up on their shows, movies, interviews, photoshoots—

The offers are rollin' in like cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-chiiing!

Kohaku: Wow, sounds just like one of those pachinko machines.

Rinne: Pretty much what it feels like! It's not every day you get to cash in this big, right?

Though honestly, part of me's thinking, "What's goin' on all of a sudden? This is creepy as hell."

Not so long ago, everyone was like, "Crazy:B's gotta die!" Hated our guts, wouldn't give us any gigs—remember?

Niki: Nom, nom, nom... Maybe the public's finally recognizing all the hard work we put in last year?

Kohaku: I was wonderin' why you'd been so quiet after comin' in with Rinne-han. You're eatin' again, Niki-han...?

Niki: I've gotta eat all the time! Or I'll die!

Kohaku: So you've already got the lifestyle of an insect or somethin'.

Niki: Anyway, I don't really get it, but isn't more work a good thing? Maybe it's 'cause our latest Matrix got good reviews?

Rinne: They haven't even aired all the episodes yet. The reviews aren't bad, but y'know, people keep saying, "Well, considering it's Akan-san’s project..." It's basically just like that.

Niki: Hmm... We worked our butts off for that, so I hope it ends up with a good rep. It'd make our struggles feel a little more rewarded.

Rinne: Well, it's rare for stuff like karmic retribution to happen in society. It's always been the case that ill weeds grow apace, while good people get screwed over. Life's a piece of shit like that.

HiMERU: Those words carry a certain weight coming from you, Amagi.

Rinne: So yeah, this time around, it's best to think of it as just dumb luck.

HiMERU: Meaning?

Rinne: Meaning that it ain't like we worked our asses off, poured blood, sweat and tears into doing our best, and got rewarded for being earnest.

It's like tripping over a winning lottery ticket.

If you start seeing causality in that, next thing you know, you'll end up like me—acting all unnaturally nice to everyone before hitting the pachinko parlor, and creeping people out.

That's just me tryna stack up some good karma, hoping for a fat payoff in return.

It ain't like I got reincarnated as a kind-hearted, good person.

Niki: Wow, I don't get it when you use pachinko analogies! Sooo, toss in a food metaphor for me to chew on instead!

Rinne: Mm, but if we start on food, we'll get sidetracked. Y'know how when you're feeling happy, food often tastes better? There's a sort of cause-and-effect relationship, yeah?

HiMERU: —In short, what you're trying to say is, "this is just a fluke, so don't get too carried away."

Rinne: Yup, bingo! ♪ Maaan, it's always a relief how good at comprehension you are, Merumeru!

HiMERU: That's because there's always a very incomprehensible person nearby. Constantly.

However, it seems like this PBB thing really has become a big deal...

Since it's all happening online, it's easy to feel like it doesn't actually affect reality.

Rinne: Well, it ain't like the internet's some kinda isekai, y'know. It's connected to reality, no doubt about it.

And aren't there a lotta people these days who feel like the internet's more real than reality?

Kohaku: Uh. So, we're talkin' about how Crazy:B's gettin' a buncha jobs, and it's all 'cause of this PBB thing?

Rinne: I dunno what else could've caused it. All the requests are like, "we want HiMERU-kun and Oukawa-kun, the super popular PBB, on our show," and stuff like that.

Kohaku: We're really that popular... Me and HiMERU-han, huh...

Hmm, I guess that... I'm right pleased folks love me and all, but not knowin' why makes me kinda uneasy.

Niki: Not gonna lie, it's none of my business, so I don't really care~♪

Rinne: Me neither~♪

Kohaku: These guys... Well, I guess if we're gettin' more work and it's all good stuff, I don't really got any complaints.

But it's kinda creepy... Bein' loved or hated by folks I don't even know, in places I ain't never heard of.

Guess that's just what bein' an idol's all about, huh?

[ ☆ ]

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[planet-crait]

A New Dev-elopement is next and I’m super excited! It sucks getting attached to Dev with kind of knowing what happens but also I hope for a season two to keep developing him.

Do these kids not normally get homework over the weekend? Lucky. Also a treasure hunt sounds fun! Not sure how that’s homework and what it’s teaching? Maybe the history of the city? Maybe? Or the clues are word problems they have to solve? Well we’ll see what they come up with for it. Kind of hilarious how blatantly everyone hurls paper at Mr. Guzman for that though.

How does the school afford tickets to the water park as prizes? Aww poor kids they’re so devastated that they’re going to be randomly paired. Ohh the heartbreak. I mean. I can’t necessarily relate I uh never had friends in my classes.

Anyways I get Mr. Guzman wants to get the kids to make new friends but I also get the pain especially for a big weekend thing. Oh no. Oh no Hazel when will you learn not to use the word Wish unless you mean it? Wanda’s horrified look was pretty funny though. But oh Hazel may or may not regret that wish I know she’s going to be paired with Dev now.

Lolz Dev and Hazels mini fight is funny but Mr. Guzman should break them up. Hazel you really don’t see why this happened? I think I’ve given up on the questioning Hazel blatantly talking to them it just. Is going to keep being yadda yaddad past. To be fair Hazel you said I wish. You can only blame yourself.

Ohh poor Dev. He can’t even play his game which has music that isn’t very loud at all. Like oof his dad blatantly says his work is a priority over Dev which. Is not an easy pill to swallow. I realize we’re not supposed to like him but he is literally a ten year old being emotionally abused at a minimum by his only parental figure in his life I will always struggle to hold any grudges against literal children especially abused ones okay sue me. (I mean good luck you’ll get like a sandwich and two pencils).

Why am I not surprised Dev wants to ditch a school activity? He seems to believe money will get him anything he wants and well…I can’t argue with the logic as fucked up as that is. I mean it’s wrong morally but it’s not incorrect because capitalism ruins everything.

Ohh so Hazel and Dev have a common book and Game in common? They seem like they could get along really well if Dev wasn’t so spoiled. But ohhh Dev does get the clues right lolz.

I just realized though making ten year plans old walk all over the city by themselves feels kind of cruel. They’re ten and it’s a big city. Also does each pair have their own clues? Like Hazel and Dev keep the post it notes how will the next pair find the next clue unless they’re all different?

Aww Dev and Hazel are having a moment that’s so cute honestly. They get it at the same time and have a little air guitar duet and are laughing. But ohhh the moment has to end. Not surprising I can imagine opening up is not easy for Dev given the glimpses of his home life we got.

He’s starting to smile though that’s progress! Oh OH! He takes off his glasses when he’s finally ready to make a connection (High giving someone) I thought maybe the glasses where like a mask for him and he takes them off when he’s ready to lower the mask and maybe let someone in. Poor kids though fail the high five and face plant hard.

Oh he didn’t put them back on and they laughed despite that oh that’s so cute. I wonder if the pizza stuff did a lot of heavy lifting for getting Dev to be willing to open up to Hazel? That would make sense honestly especially if he’s as starved for affection as I imagine he is.

Seeing him so genuinely smiling is so sweet and cute it makes my heart melt honestly. OHHH HE CALLED HER HAZEL AND NOT ANOTHER NAME!!!! They’re laughing and joking it’s so cute. Aww Hazel is praising Dev to his dad it’s so dang sweet. Oh. Oh no. Dale is brushing it off I hope Dev doesn’t shut down after this.

Oh no he did shut down. Oh poor kid. I feel so bad for him he was so happy and smiling and eager to introduce Hazel to his dad and he just shut him down and his accomplishments so hard. I cannot imagine how crushing it is to have your parent so blatantly brush off the hard work you did especially when it’s something you’re really proud of.

Hazel is trying so hard to reconnect and bring up the fun they had but oof years of emotional abuse do some damage and I’m not sure how easily that can be undone. Ohhh he has really shut down he put the glasses back on and called her the wrong name oof. I think I was right about the glasses being a mask. They hide what his eyes could show as sadness or other emotions he doesn’t want people (his dad) to see. It’s painful seeing such a young kid putting up a mask like this.

Oh I expected Hazel to cry not get mad and leave. Interesting. Also interesting to see Dev seem to immediately regret it and feel bad about it. Unfortunately abuse just. Messes with you. We don’t have any blatant abuse on screen (this is a kids show) but given the neglect Dev faces I struggle to think there isn’t also some major emotional abuse he deals with.

Hazels emotions seem all over the place her being so salty about the sushi. I have a feeling she’s trying to push down the feelings of friendship she was forming with Dev. Oh huh. Didn’t expect Dev to show up again. I guess he really connected with Hazel and just can’t admit it yet. Ohhh Devs insult gave Hazel the clue she needed I love that. Not the insult Hazels mind going back immediately to the project. I didn’t expect the paperweight to be relevant again but hey it works. Oh wow Dev looks super guilty. I kind of expected something to push him but he seems to be doing this all on his own.

Oh Dev lowering his glasses as he re opens up to Hazel. I get that though it makes sense his dad puts him down so much that he would immediately shut down. He is desperate to get something for his dad he’s willing to do a lot to try and get something I don’t think his dad will ever give him. Good on Hazel though for calling out that he hurt her. He owned up which is good but Hazel should call out she got hurt from it. HE SAID SORRY HE SAID SORRY!!!! Aww Hazel forgives him so easily and he removed the glasses again oh my heart.

Wait wait emotional growth wish????? I don’t think that’s ever come up before. Like ever.

Heist yes I love this. Lolz Dev finding doors open over and over again is hilarious. Dev joining on Hazels imagination for the heist is so cute though. And them posing for the security cameras is so funny. Oh more Dev smiles I love it!!!

Ohh I was wondering why he would demand students break into the principles office. That makes more sense and aww. Those photos are so cute. They’re adorable. Protect them at all costs. I do love the principle doesn’t care suddenly because homework over the weekend. Honestly nailed her personality there to solve the conflict.

Oh no the water park closed. Oh the kids will RIOT. THEY NAILED THEIR HIGH FIVE FINALLY!!!!!

Okay so uh. New favorite episode to be quite frank. The wish and its result made sense. The development for Dev worked and Hazel kind of understands Dev more and he’s being more open and not wearing his sunglasses anymore. Also Dev and Hazel are so dang cute. I hope we see him making more friends I need to see this child get love and support damn it. Really really solid episode absolutely loved it I hope we see more of Dev and Hazel hanging out. She clearly has a very good influence on him and he needs that in his life.

[bugtransport]

I've seen this one person who, on account of knowing a fair bit of Japanese, has actually seen old-timey serial toku from the late 50's-early 60's like Gekko Kamen, & not only always praises them, but holds more conventional showa toku like Rider & Zubat against them! & I think that's genuinely really fascinating & thought provoking! Makes you wonder how much perspective is lost on us because of the language barrier stopping us from watching those shows, it also brings to mind how when we measure stuff like art, we only do so relative to what WE know!

sorry it was incredibly funny receiving this ask because i feel like this is the experience that anyone who tries to talk to me about western media has when they inevitably run into the brick fucking wall that is the fact that i just apparently did not go through US Kids to Adolescents Media Bootcamp and have the world's spottiest baseline of what you're supposed to know. i mean like yeah sure i've never seen shit like titanic that's an easy one to miss but i just learned who king arthur was last year. i've been boycotting disney since i had a concept of what a company was. i just straight up didn't watch live tv after 2nd grade. my friend had to explain what danny phantom was to me this past weekend. all the shakespeare i know (2) was taught to me against my will.

anyway where was i. i typed up something first but it got way too long. i do think it is interesting to think about how we're only able to comprehend and analyze media through the lens of our experiences in life up to that point but [gesturing above] i am Dumb Ass Rocks and i think that's why whenever i make certain statements about media i feel the need to put in a disclaimer that gives at least some idea of where i'm coming from so people don't expect me to know things i simply don't? it's something that i've had to become very aware of through the years and i think a lot a lot a lot of miscommunication is due to the fact that people are assuming that other people around them have the same understanding or background information or reading of something. i think if you want to talk language barriers there's a point to be brought up too about how translation is an artform and a really beautiful one; you're essentially being a middleman for understanding between the author and the reader but because they're relying on the translator to decode and recode the meaning in their own words, we've now got an additional person in the mix having to balance THEIR knowledge base, so i am wrENCHING MYSELF AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD I'M GOING OFF TRACK AGAIN-

i think it's good enough to just find enjoyment in the things that you find enjoyment in! unless you're looking to do serious (i.e. academic style) analysis i'm anti-completionist and think everyone should simply leave if they're not enjoying something. doesn't matter how late in the game. i'll watch a whole show and not the final episode if it sucks. i watched bojack horseman thrice but there's one episode i simply won't watch because i started it and hated it. i just watched as much of the show as i cared to and enjoyed it! and in that same vein if you aren't able to access a part of a series/genre/what have you due to time/language/cost/bald/other constraints in my Humble Onion you can just take the enjoyment out of the parts you're able to access. no use dreaming about the things that could be when you have perfectly good shows right there!

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

I like your blog but I was disappointed to see you say it would ever be okay for Zutarians to have Katara and Zuko cheat on Aang and Mai in their fics if they acknowledged it is bad. Somethings can't be done right and need to just be kept out of any story. It's completely disrespectful to the Kataang and Maiko fans.

Also if I were you, I'd block the anon who said they could understand the appeal of Zucest even if they claim not to ship it, and in case you don't know, a blog you reblog from a lot hello-nichya-here likes that cursed shit so there's another one for your block list. Incest is gross and immoral even if it's fiction, and you'd be better off not interacting with that kind of people.

Buddy, I'm brazilian. I was raised on soap-operas. If I gave people shit for enjoying any media that involves the main characters selfishly cheating on their partners to be with each other, I'd be the world's biggest hypocrite. That kind of stuff is an easy source for drama, and it will always be part of romance stories - regardless of the quality of said romances.

As for it being disrespectful to Kataang and Maiko, yeah, I could see it, but only if it's combined with a bunch of slander towards these characters, and pulling stuff like "How I Became Yours" did by saying Mai was a terrible, abusive person for being angry that her husband cheated on her, or if it's shit like Zutarians constantly harrassing shippers about how Aang/Mai is totally being cucked. But if they're just writing as a source for drama in a story, without demonizing the characters that are clearly being screwed over by Zuko and Katara, I don't mind it.

Also I fully disagree with you on the "Somethings can't be done right and no one should write them." No topic should be forbidden in fiction, and what people should discuss is "Does this make narrative sense?" not "Is this a morally correct thing for people to do?"

How would that even work for the Avatar fandom anyways? "Sure, the original show is literally about war and genocide, and it is constantly praised for having an imperialist prince redeem himself and befriend the people he sent a hitman after, but if we write characters doing immoral things like cheating or sleeping with a relative THAT is going too far"

Sounds like one hell of a double-standard to me. And I've literally said it in my pinned post: This blog exists solely to point out the kind of behavior that made Zutara become such a hated ship, not to bully people that are just minding their business, or to tell them what tropes they are allowed to like. I don't like the idea of Zuko and Katara together at all, especially not with it involving them hurting Mai and Aang. But if the people writting these stories weren't constantly forcing it down everyone's throats, I wouldn't mind them adding that trope to every single fic they wrote.

As for the second part of your ask, I guess there's only one way for me to make my stance on Zucest VERY clear, so you and anyone else who could be bothered by it can decide if you want to keep following this blog:

Hello, Nichya here. I'm not going to use this side-blog to block my main, as I feel it would be kind of pointless to block myself considering the content in both accounts is coming from the same brain.

And see Zutara fans? It's super easy to only bring up your OTP when it is relevant to the conversation and without trying to force other's to like it, and it tends to get you far less hate too, no matter how "problematic" your ship is.

[tervaneula]

Okay, i gotta be honest here, am trying to stay SFW account but even tho am a legal adult i want to think it's not bad to comment and reblog few NSFW stuff. (I have SFW friends so am trying to not be blocked xD)

But reading your fic of "first time" and like not comment i feel that's unfair in some degree.

So here i am, reading the first quarter and it's all about kissing, don't get me wrong am a kissing slut. If i see fic couple showing their affection by kissing (mouth, head, cheek, hand..etc) i instantly melt like a cheese in a microwave!✨

It gets me blushing yet warm and fuzzy inside because god they're so ready to spend their time on bed kissing like there's NO TOMORROW!!/pos

And on top of that getting praised and be told "you're so beautiful"? Oh my god, an arrow straight through my heart, am on my knees to marry this fic/pos.

That until Leo's horny meter gets bigger and ask for.. Ahem.. The sauce dance 👀✨🤏

And the art of it?! SPICY!

I had to pause temporarily until i gather my marbles, don't mind me xD (sorry but Leo holding the bed frame was too much for me)/pos

Tho reading it's Leo's first time(?) He clearly was okay - plus his old age - and i kinda laughed at how Usagi was worried about the "oh my god did i impregnate you?!" Like IHXHXHCHCIHFHOOCH i had to wheeze there xD no my boy you didn't impregnate him!!

Tho i bet he wish you could... Having a house of children/hj/lh (DON'T COME AFTER ME)

And when they started round 2 and were done, bro was worried about the bite on the neck like, can i kiss you?! You're just so sweet and wholesome and carrying?! He's like the dream boyfriend so many of us wants! (Including how goofy he is!) (*´˘`*)♡

But oh my god don't make me START on the after care!! He's so carrying! He carried Leo to the bath tub DJJFFJ (yeah am calling it a bath tub, fight me/jk)

And i couldn't stop imagining them in a romantic, bath tub where there's roases or flowers around, having those candles with a perfume lit and placed on the edge of the tub, and a nice body lotion & cream kit to after the bath after a great time together?! Oh am melting inside!

Oh my god this's so good am just AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH SCREAMING AND GRAPPING YOU, OH HOW CAN YOU MAKE SOMETHING SO SPECIAL, SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE THIS?!

Aw dang you are just so SO SWEET. Thank you so much for commenting anyway, I'm so grateful!! I ALWAYS love hearing your thoughts<333

I had a lot of fun writing the kissing and I'm glad you appreciate it >:3 They're ~forty years old but they're acting like hormonal teens and it's hilarious to me

HJAHGASF that gif took me out omg thank you XDDGHjFdsj You were very brave to push through<3

Oh and yeah it's not Leonardo's first first time, it's just the first time with Yuichi! He's fooled around before but it's been years and years since because, well. The apocalypse eventually took its toll and it's not easy to try to lose yourself in another person when everyone's getting killed around you and YOU'RE in charge of keeping them alive 🥴 (omg sorry about the downer moment I'll not talk about that anymore XD)

I WILL NOT COME AFTER YOU because Leonardo x Yuichi kids is something I've thought about... and might have something slowly brewing for that with a friend... But shhh that's not gonna be relevant until I get all the other brainrot out of my head lmao

AHHHHHHH I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED THE AFTERCARE TOO Yuichi is a soft, soft man (inside and out) and he needs to take care of his partner!!! I swear I was smiling so goofily the whole time I was writing that scene, especially the hand-holding oughhhghgh

I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENS WHENEVER I WRITE I KINDA JUST BLACK OUT OR SOMETHING but it's so wonderful that this story was special and beautiful to you<3<3 (it's special and beautiful to me hnghnggfnh)

Thank you so much once again for taking the time to read and to comment, I'm SO THANKFUL and I love you so much!!! Hope you'll have a lovely weekend!!!!!<3333

[mitskook]

a very mitskook 2023 wrap-up

hi everyone

so i didn't write very much in 2023, that much is apparent. now i'm not gonna sit here act like that's a massive loss considering the vast amount of extremely talented writers that produced wonderful work this year, but i am still disappointed in myself from, i guess, a labour of love perspective. i look at the work i have contributed to the fandom over the years and i still have more i want to add, more stories i want to tell (trust me the wip folder makes me weep too).

but every time i wanted to write, the idea of making a love story made me so miserable i had to scrub it from my head. and worse, when i pushed past that obvious discomfort, the love in those stories soured into resentment, rage, and a cruelty i couldn't justify (to this audience at least). particularly with tsdverse, this next installment is about m'boys really grappling with conflicts that have no easy answers (if they have answers at all) and man am i so fucking glad i wrote that flashforward with heejin to keep a north star on where they would end up because if i hadn't, i would've completely shattered them in a misdirected fireball of righteous grief. im glad i had that to hold on to bc i haven't had much else.

my 2023 has been. uh. trying amongst the good stuff (and i promise there was some good stuff) but not this. my mum had a heart attack, i was fired for not coming back to work straight after her surgery, and i was couch surfing and unemployed for long enough i felt like i'd wrecked my life forever. and, of course, i was mourning my relationship that ended at the end of last year, and to be honest i'm still not done with that. that's the absolute joy and misery of tying your heart to someone you're hoping will be around forever: your eyes don't see anything the same anymore, certain songs that come on shuffle make you break down on the tube, you realise huge swathes of your social media presence, including ao3, were built for one person and it wasn't you, and now? all those things are monuments to the emptiness you feel every time you remember they're not in your life anymore.

to be extremely clear, i'm not blaming my ex for these feelings, and if anyone harasses them on my behalf i will personally hunt you down and gut you with a knitting needle, but in missing them as much as i do i realised how inextricable they were from my writing process. i mostly wrote fic to make them happy, to hear their praise and notes and excitement to read the rest, and that was unfair on everyone; me, them, and you (if you look forward to my work, i don't wanna presume lmao). that's too much pressure to put on someone who just wasn't interested in bangtan rpf anymore, and that's normal, it's okay to move on from that, but it meant even before the breakup i didn't know who i was doing it for anymore. that level of directionlessness (<- not a word but whatever) gummed up those creative gears until they had no choice but to stop.

anyway to maybe cap this pity party a bit, i want to start sharing my writing more on here, and i won't wait for people to clamour to let me know that that's wanted bc again, i need to start rebuilding my confidence in my writing and feeling out where i fit into this community after basically silently moping around for a full year. i want to sincerely thank everyone who's ever read my work. i won't promise to do anything but my best, and in the meantime i'll give all the snippets to you.

lots of love

zeeb "hyperlight" mitskook

[theflyingfeeling]

random thoughts and highlights about the gig at Tapiola Festivaali today 🖤

first fucking row 😭

so idk if it was that that made the show feel exceptionally good, and I find it difficult to rank the BC shows I've been to in any order of excellence, but I'd say this one would go pretty high on that list; their energy was unmatchable and, as always at BC gigs, I truly had the best fun I've ever had 🥺

(which is why I'm still a little dumbfounded and emptyheaded and will probably spend the entire tomorrow crying because I miss them so much and have no idea when I'm gonna see them again jdkdkfjkfkfkf can't they just drop some tour dates for next year soon or at least the "big show" they keep teasing us about so I can experience the serotonin boost of buying another BC concert ticket and have something to look forward to in my sad little life ahaha)

but yeah anyway I am so fucking horny for Aleksi y'all. Wanting him carnally was NOT on my bingo card for this year but here we are 🪦

like. He' just so confident and booby. You know? Cocky bastard. I'd let him *** inside.

@ss4nni caught his stick and we all got to hold and gawk at it. I may have even licked it a little (siis for real sillon kun mukamas nuolasin sitä ni mun kieli oikeesti koski sitä vahingossa lol sori Sanni 🙈)

(too Finnish didn’t understand: I pretended to lick it for the lols but accidentally licked it a little for real. Please pray for me to regain my sanity one of these days)

I definitely am may be a little delusional about a bunch of stuff but I feel like I made eye-contact with Olli one time and then another time when I was doing a little thigh exercise for Left Outside Alone (just pumping up and down instead of just squatting lol ain't just some random dudes gonna tell me what to do)

I waved at Aleksi one time when he came over because yes that's how desperate I was for an interaction with him and he mercifully acknowlwdged my efforts by looking at me and giving me the tiniest nod. So yeah I think I'll name our first-born son Tapio & y'all are invited to the christening 🥰

(unrelated to BC but Abreu performed before them and she winked at me because I'm hot stuff 😌)

got to witness many many many cute Olli/Allu moments (mostly touches) with my bare eyeballs, I feel so blessed and nourished I think I'll live on this for the rest of the year 💗 (she says, knowing very well she will indeed be sobbing her eyes off tomorrow and the whole next week most likely)

I think they all were genuinely impressed by the audience's energy (or at least the first row was fucking fire 🔥🔥🔥🔥) and I know they praise the audience at every show but I'm still gonna go ahead and take their every sweet word as a personal compliment <3

I loved seeing Niko so much? He's a tiny guy and loves crouching so it's not always easy to see him from farther away lol and he was wearing sunglasses the entire show (it was cloudy) but behind the glasses I like to believe he looked at me/us many many times Niko Niko Niko I love Niko 🥰

And Joel was so happy too 😭 happy Joel = happy me, automatically and every time, I need to know when I get to make him happy again by going to see their show, he deserves it and I deserve it 😭😭😭

So yeah, once again BC did what was said on the can: made me forget all about my pathetic little problems and I kinda need that in order to survive so if you need me I shall be refreshing their social media like a junkie asking random passers-by if they happen to have any speed on them, eyes red and visibly shaking because that's how bad I need my next fix

Many many thanks to everyone who hung out and came to say hi!! You all are some of the best people I know, I don't know how you tolerate me or if you even do lol but I'm always laughing so much when I'm with you and I'll miss you guys as much as I'll miss BC 💕💖💕💗💓💞💖

[everybodyshusband]

Caregiver Dewy and silly baby Rainy please? 👉👈

oh, i am so glad you asked for this, anons ! this was so fun to write !

domestic activities - cooking

mushy may ; day seventeen (approx. 1.6k words)

read under the cut or on ao3 :)

i tried to make the language a bit... simpler ? so hopefully it's easy for littles to read because oh my god, the frustration of trying to read a comfort fic while regressed but the words are too difficult is REAL but i hope it'll still be a decent read for everyone :)

“Bu’ I wanna help,” Rain pouts and Dewdrop sighs.

“RainRain, you’re too little, why don’t you sit and watch me instead?” Rain giggles at the nickname. He likes it when he’s little, it makes him feel all happy and fuzzy.

“No! I wanna help you cook!”

Dewdrop sighs again, but Rain can see him smiling as he shakes his head. “No, baby. Some of this stuff is too tricky.”

“Please! P’ease, please, p’ease!”

“…Okay, bud,” Dewdrop agrees after a long pause. “You can help me.”

Rain claps his hands in happiness and jumps up and down. “Yay! T’ank you, Dewy!”

Dew reaches out and ruffles Rain’s hair. “‘Course, baby. How d’you wanna help me? You can hold something for me, stir the mixture or help me cut this up.” He shows Rain the apple in his hand.

“Umm…” Rain sways side to side, trying to pick one. “I– I dunno, ‘m sorry.”

“Oh, Rainy, you don’t need to be sorry.” Dew caresses Rain’s cheek with his hand. “Do you want me to pick for you, bud?”

Rain sniffles and nods. “Yes, p’ease.”

Dew kisses the top of his head. “Such good manners, too!” Rain grins proudly at the praise. “How about you help me cut the apple up, hmm?”

Something about the way Dew phrases it—“you help me” rather than “I help you”—makes Rain feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He feels loved, he thinks, and cared for. It’s nice, and it makes him want to hug Dewdrop so much, so he does. He wraps his arms around Dew and squeezes him tightly, nuzzling his face into Dew’s shoulder, making them both smile. “Cut th’apple up,” he agrees.

“Perfect,” Dew says, taking hold of Rain’s hand and leading him over to the counter. “Come over to the bench with me. Yeah, that’s it. Do you need a step stool to see properly?”

“No, ‘m good,” he tells Dew. It’s a silly question—Rain doesn’t get physically smaller, he’s still the same size he is when he isn’t regressed; when he’s big—and Rain giggles at how funny it is, but even though he’s laughing, he’s happy that Dew asked him. It makes him feel even smaller, and these days, that’s been a hard thing to manage. He hugs Dew again. “You make me feel very small, and i’s nice,” he mumbles into Dew’s shirt.

“Aww, Rainy,” Dew says, hugging him back. “I’m glad you feel nice n’ little.”

“…Glad?” Rain asks, confused.

“Happy,” Dew whispers into his hair. “I’m really happy you feel nice, RainRain.”

Rain pulls away first soon after, plonking his hands down on the counter with determination. “Apple,” he says, trying to focus back on helping Dew cook.

“Let’s cut up the apple,” Dew agrees. “I know you’ve done this when you’re big, but it’s a lot harder when you’re all little, isn’t it, bud.” It’s not a proper question, but Rain nods anyway. It is a lot harder to do things and concentrate properly when he’s small; his brain wanders off and leaves him confused a lot of the time, which makes it harder for him to do the things he normally does when he isn’t little. “Yeah, it’s gonna be a bit tricky, Rainy, okay? So I’m gonna need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me, baby?”

“Yeah,” Rain says softly. “Yeah, I can do ‘at.”

Dew ruffles Rain’s hair. “Good boy. Now, what we’re going to do–”

Dew keeps speaking but Rain doesn’t hear it, his mind is still stuck on “good boy” and he doesn’t know why, but he doesn’t like the way the words settle around him. He reaches out and tugs at Dew’s sleeve. “Dewy?” Dew turns to look at him. “I– I don’ think I like it when you say that.”

“When I say what, Rainy?” Dew’s eyebrows are scrunched up in confusion. “When I tell you how to hold the knife?”

“No! Uhm, when you say, uhm, good boy. I don’ think I like that.” Rain twists his shirt in his hands nervously. He doesn’t want to make Dew upset or cross, but he’s been told to try his best to say what he’s thinking about when he’s small, especially if he feels bad.

Dew’s face relaxes and he stops scrunching his eyebrows. “Hey, that’s okay, baby. Thank you for telling me.” Dew pauses for a minute, clearly thinking. “Can you tell me why you don’t like it? If you can't, that's okay too,” he adds quickly.

Rain nods and thinks for a bit, biting his lip as he tries to figure out which words he needs to use to tell Dew how he feels properly. “I think,” he starts. “I think I, uhm– I don’ like it pe– pecause you use tha’ word when I’m big an’ uhm, when we do big things. So– So when ‘m all liddol, it, uhm– it feels a bit, uhm, bad…” He trails off, looking at the ground, still fidgeting with his shirt.

Dew reaches out and tilts Rain’s head up so they’re looking at each other. “Oh, Rainy, that’s okay! I didn’t even think about that, I’m sorry I made you feel bad and icky.”

“I’s okay,” Rain says, but he doesn’t want to look at Dew properly, and he’s still tangling his shirt in his hands.

“Rainy, baby, can you look at me?” Rain tries his best and looks at Dew for a few seconds until eye contact becomes too hard. “Can I give you a hug?”

Rain nods and lets Dew wrap his arms around him, snuggling into the hug and nuzzling his face against Dew’s shoulder. He feels safe like this, when he’s wrapped up in Dew’s arms. It’s nice. Too soon, Dew is pulling away, and Rain whines softly, making grabby hands in the direction of the fire ghoul.

“I know, Rainy, I know, but you’ve still got to help me cut the apple up!”

Rain glances over to the counter and sees the apple and a knife sitting on a chopping board. “Oh, I– I forgot…”

Dew smiles down at him. “That’s alright, bud. I know your brain’s a bit fuzzy right now. You can just watch me cut it up instead, if you like.”

“No! No, I wanna help,” Rain says with determination. He’s going to help; he can do it.

“Alright, Rainy,” Dew agrees. “Let me teach you how to hold the knife and cut things up safely, then you can help, okay?”

Rain nods, listening intently as Dew shows him how to cut the apple up. He watches Dew’s hands as he curls his fingers underneath themselves to hold the apple in place—”if you hold it like this, it means you can’t cut your fingers if the knife slips, see?”—and keeps his eyes on the way Dew keeps the knife steady, always pointing the blade away from his body. It’s a lot to focus on, but Rain is so determined to help that he finds himself remembering everything that Dew tells him.

“Now it��s your turn, Rainy,” Dew explains, moving out of the way so Rain can stand in front of the chopping board. “Are you ready?”

“I– I think so…” Rain walks towards the counter slowly, wrapping his fingers around the knife’s handle.

“I’ll be right here the whole time, okay? I’ll keep an eye out for you and make sure you’re doing it right, bud, don’t worry.”

Dew’s words and reassurances are comforting, and in what feels like no time at all, the apple is cut into little cubes and ready to pour into the pot on the stove.

Dew laughs as Rain finishes the last slice, scooping him into a warm hug as soon as the knife is back on the chopping board. “Well done, baby! Oh, I’m so proud of you, RainRain.”

Rain giggles at the praise. “Thank you, Dewy.”

“No, baby, thank you for helping me. You did such a good job!”

Rain laughs again in delight and squeezes Dew tightly. “Can– can I go si’down now an’ watch you do the rest, p’ease?”

“Of course you can, baby,” Dew says, pulling away from the hug and pressing a gentle kiss to Rain’s forehead. “You helped me so much, you must be tired, Rainy!”

“Yeah…” Rain agrees. “Am a bit, but I– I wanna watch you cook, if– if tha’s okay?” Dew’s right, he is tired from all the thinking and remembering he’s had to do, but it’s a nice feeling. Even if he’s only cut up one apple, he’s done something important and helped Dew make dessert for their pack. He’s proud of himself.

“That’s more than okay, tadpole.” Dew ruffles Rain’s hair as he speaks, which makes Rain let out an indignant squawk. Dew laughs, it’s a nice sound. “You go take a seat at the bench, yeah? I can tell you what I’m doing while you sit there, if you want?”

“Uh huh!” Rain’s already on the other side of the counter, and climbing onto a ridiculously tall stool, excited that he’ll get to watch Dew cook. He likes watching it even when he’s big; there’s something about the way Dew moves around the kitchen—switching back and forth between pots and bowls and cupboards like it’s a dance—that’s almost hypnotic to watch. Already, the fire ghoul is pulling down a new pot from one of the tall cupboards and setting it on the stove, tipping Rain’s apple into it and sprinkling sugar over the top. Rain licks his lips. As much as he loves Dew’s cooking, he loves eating it even more; especially his desserts.

When Rain claps his hands together and lets out a silly babble of excitement, Dew turns to look at him with a big smile on his face, and everything feels perfect.

[imadethisaccountforaheadcannon]

The thing is I long learnt that in TSAMS Sun's group Sun,Lunar and Earth would never be depicted as ever doing anything wrong

They are just simply privileged particularly towards any moon who allmost allways have been changed just to be worst then them cause this fandom just loved to the have their bigotry against moons rewarded

Same as anyone who supports them sun must allways "deserve" to abuse moons on an multiversal scale afterall this fandom extends sun's passes to every sun In the multiverse and yet with any moon the fact that it's generally indicated that most sun's paint themselves as victims goes right over everyone's head

You must like him and everyone that stands with him otherwise your a monster to everyone else

While the fact that they very hurtfully gave earth all of moons plotpoints that indicate how kind and good he is was just casually given away to earth and if you think shes not so bad for this you don't get how enablers are actually like she might have been seen as a Mary Sue but she wasn't seen as deliberately designed as a threat to moon, Lunar ended up getting praised just because he suddenly became chibi and getting the privilage of being on sun's good side casually forgetting that he started out as a threat to moon as well

This was actually a tactic used on me they over complicated things bring more people in the right thing was sun abuser moon victim that's all it should have been just that but nooo they just had to make two whole other shows instead

may not have watched this show for along time but I know this show they refuse to correct the anti moon biases no amount of character development is going to get past that even if I did keep on watching the show I would stile have hated It and I did keep watching stuff mostly animations involved in it for a bit because its not a clear and easy thing to cut yourself off from something you use to love

To be honest most this fanbase might as well have not watched this show themselves with how many times they ignored the facts that would indicate sun's an bullshit artist

You know what maybe I should go back to watching it nah I just stopped being as randomly depressed about it+something traumatic was going in in my life a year ago when I was watching it

But then again that depression was most obviously about how moon was treated+ bloodmoon as well but then again I know I know I should be happy that he's back but I feel like it's to late he needed his own group to recover with not sun's

I feel like they completely annihilated his moony minority group anything other then anger for that would be offensive, He would have to constantly contend with everyone being more "important" then him again honestly I would love to see a version of him that's just done with everyone's bullcrap but

Thats just not in the question anymore

Yeah it is not a good idea for me to see it again I've got far enough into moving on enough to attach myself to other stuff again anyway so why even bother

[mental-health-advice]

I wanna care about stuff and people more but I feel like when I show any care, it's fake. like I do feel bad for people with what they go through, but I also feel like I don't feel that at all. Everyone I know praises me on how nice and kind and compassionate I am and I hate it cause it's the only compliment I get and I always feel like a fraud when I get it. Cause I'm not all of that. Yes, I always act nice to people and I can't handle hurting others but I also feel like if people heard the things that go through my brain - whether I mean them or not - they'd hate me. So I hate getting called nice but it's all I'm ever called. And like, for example, I've been told by people I know that someone they know have died and I feel like I'm meant to feel sympathy or something but I feel like I don't really. Like it's awful that happened, and I wish it didn't, but I don't feel like I care in a sense either??? Which sounds awful to say. Me and two friends discussed this before cause they feel the same, but I still feel like it's not the same. Cause they're caring, empathetic people who care about the world and it's injustices and while I really want to, and sometimes think I do on some level, I just also feel like I don't. And it sucks, and my biggest fear is being a bad person and I've always prided myself on my kindness but now I just feel like I don't actually have any of that. Sorry for the ramble! It's just been bothering me. Sometimes the feeling goes away for a while but I find it creeps up around summer or when I have exams - I guess when I have less to distract myself with. Thanks anyways!

Hey there,

You mentioned that you feel that even though you hurt seeing other people hurt and what they are going through/ struggling with, a part of you also feels numb surrounding this and as though you feel like a fake/ that you don’t care at all. To me (a person on the outside looking in) it sounds as though you are a really kind, caring and empathic person towards others but perhaps you look down on yourself or compare yourself to others and feel as though other people show these traits a lot better and/ or more easily than you do and so this makes you feel uncomfortable when people speak about this quality that you do have inside of you.

I think that it’s great that you were able to speak with two of your friends about this, but it sounds as though they generalised the feeling and so consequently it may have made you feel as though the generalisation did not fit or feel right for you at all. And you are so right in saying/ feeling this as well. Everyone is very different and we all feel and act in ways that are different than other people (even if it’s just slightly different.) And adding to this, we also can’t always put others before ourselves as it can not only be tiring and very exhausting at times with taking the burden of others worries onto our own shoulders, but it can also add to our own pain and suffering with what we may be going through ourselves.

So, with all this being said. I do not think you are a bad person or a fake in terms of being caring and empathetic towards others at all. Yes, others may show these things in different ways than you and maybe even more proactively, but people do compliment you with this so it must have some truth to it. So try to be kind to yourself, and I know that hearing compliments isn’t always easy (I struggle with this myself on a daily basis) but over time it will get easier to hear them and you will eventually get to a point where you can see in yourself what others can and how good of a person you truly are!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren