#anyway i did it thanks to moral support from my friendđ
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#canute#vinland saga#watercolor#my art#Made it to try out several things#These things are masking fluid (liked it! super cool!!)#colored pencils my sister gave me a year ago#and watercolors that I'm so afraid of using and use them twice a year maybe#I desperately love watercolors#but they are such an unpredictable material unlike gouache#anyway i did it thanks to moral support from my friendđ#and... I liked it!#both process and the result
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ily so much star! thank you did such carefully curated responses as well. i couldnât agree more with the points that youâre making <3 stray kids need to be held accountable. i hate the type of environment this is creating but im glad that itâs motivating people to donate and speak up about palestine.
i wish theyâd also make a donation (iïżœïżœm hoping they have even if itâs anonymous) to show us that in some way they do care. because ofc they have to know, some members, their families and friends are on social media chronically. i just hope theyâre not terrible people at the end of the day, because iâve spent so much energy and money on them that i couldâve spent on a better cause that itâs </333 i really wanted to get a skz tattoo earlier this year but i had a hunch and was like ânah these ppl are humans and they can def disappoint me somedayâ and im glad it didnât rn. imma stick to my cartoon tattoosđ
anyways thank you so much for your words always. i love the passionate discourses as well. iâm sad to hear about you wanting to leave but i support you 100% because everything is so insane. please take your time to heal and work on yourself <3 ilysm bb and if you decide to leave know that i always think of you when i see the moon <33
more cat pics to diffuse the tension (this is olive, my bfâs cat and our first actual kitty. she thicc and got the biggest disney eyes <3)
-đââŹ
Hi baby !!
Echoing you on the skz tattoo thing LOL my left arm has been thoroughly covered for the past week while the fandom is in shambles
I donât think skz are terrible people at all and itâs just a wish I have for people to do more, the same way Iâm wishing most celebrities would right now. I saw somebody describe it as âhaving a moral obligation to do something when you have a platform that lesser-known people wish they hadâ and I 1000% agree.
I will absolutely take some time to heal and just take a breather from here and Iâm continuing to do all that I can in the meanwhile! I hope youâre doing the same and I canât wait to hear all my updates from you when I get back (though youâre always free to spam my inbox with them until I can respond) â€ïžđ«¶
I donât have any momo pics from today but I was reminded that itâs been a year since my other catâs best pic in her dinosaur hat đ her name is miffy and she stays at my parentsâ house because she and momo donât get along at all but sheâs still the og loml and I see her whenever I get the chance to
(I love you baby!!! Take such good care of yourself and Iâll be back in better spirits đ)
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(jumps in your askbox to ask things about the birthday boy uwu)
THESE ARE!!! For Patrick (Verse One):
âł In which aspects have you seen Patrick change? As in, the initial idea/concept you had of him VS. Now? âł If he had the time and availability to have a pet, which one do you see him choosing? âł Did he use to have a favorite place when he was a child? Somewhere he remembers with fondness? âł What's a place he's always wanted to visit but hasn't? âł Does he know that a certain detective named Lee Hyuk always carries him in his heart and mind and misses him like nuts and blames me for being away (IUWEHDWEIUDHWD)?
Feel free to skip any (or all) questions ;W; HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL!!!
now it's the professor's turn ( nosy questions for the birthday enby w/ @jeoseungsaja )
ALEX!!! đđđ my dear friend, first of all THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THESE đ„șđ„șđ„ș i shall do my best to answer them as thoroughly as possible :DDD
âł In which aspects have you seen Patrick change? As in, the initial idea/concept you had of him VS. Now?Â
HMMM, well i make it no secret that his inspo is professor layton, specifically in the third game- like literally, i think i made a post adding him to my muse roster on sukiâs blog ( JK IT WAS ON CALUMâS BLOG hereâs the post tho )...i was honestly debating between whether to make an oc inspired by her*shel lay*ton or just to write the professor himself. But i also wasnât confident in my ability to write canon characters and i also knew that the layton rp community is kindaâŠdead?? ANYWAYS, when patrick started out, i originally planned for him to be very similar to layton himself: someone whose life at multiple points has been marked by significant losses, but because these losses happened a while back, someone who has learned to, not necessarily move forward (yet) but more of learned how to live with the grief. Since the creators of the lay*ton games probably didnât have as much time to flesh out the professor in the third game as i would have wanted them too, patrick was basically supposed to be my exploration of thatâŠyou could say patrick in a way, is my self-indulgent lay*ton fanfiction FJSKLDJFLSD đ
But to be more specific about the initial concepts, patrick was supposed much more in touch with the outside world ( henceforth the âanthropologyâ part of his career once upon a time :âD ), more adventurous and also a tad moreâŠbrusque? more frigid? Kinda like that professor whoâs always affable and you admire from a distance, but u wouldnât necessarily go to for emotional supportâŠ.basically not quite the gay english professor that all of the queer kids end up loving and subconsciously consider him the father figure they never had :âD
This is all way, if i may compare patrick to lay*ton, iâd say patrick ended up be way more milder, reserved and closed off in comparison to lay*ton. Warmer too although i think part of that also comes from his relationship with hyuk AKA as once stated, hyuk uses his teeth for patrick so patrick doesnât have to grow them himself. Also while the two do more or less do still have the same demeanor, but patrick, in particular, is unabashedly biased towards his loved ones. Would drop everything for them even his morals ( which isnât exactly very good of a gentleman :âD ). So iâd say in that sense, lay*ton is almost?? Ironically milder in this sense? In while he does have preferences, he doesnât have as many sheer dislikesâŠ.patrick on the other hand does have very specific dislikes that while he doesnât vocalize, itâs very obvious to know what they are.Â
Iâve also noticed in this past year, patrick, depending on the verse, is becoming a lot moreâŠpetty morally ambiguous ( hyuk come collect your person and chastise him too fjksldjfdls :âD ). Selfless yes, but the means and his way of thinking uhâŠ.maybe itâs not the most morally upright version :âD i also do think heâs a bit more prone to silliness too in comparison to my original concept <3
âł If he had the time and availability to have a pet, which one do you see him choosing?
Itâs more apparent in verse three and maybe even verse two, but patrick is very much of a cat person. Not that he hates dogs, but i do think heâs more drawn to cats, whether theyâre on the sillier side or the reserved side- heâs a big proponent of self-suffiency and since the man is like, always working, he would want a furry companion who doesnât mind just passing the hours in peaceful quiet :âD as of right now, he could probably get a cat, but itâd be an adult cat, probably one still pretty young.
If he gets one after elise has flown the nest thoughâŠi could see him getting a kitten :âD preferably a stray one bc patrick has a tendency of taking in strays, human or not <3 <3 <3
âł Did he use to have a favorite place when he was a child? Somewhere he remembers with fondness?
Libraries have always been a source of solace for patrick especially when he was in secondary school. As the only asian kid in his town and not to mention probably the only kid that was adopted, the books in the library provided him with examples of sorts of people who were more like himâŠgranted in the 1980s there probably wasnât as much as there is now, but it certainly made him feel less alone. So iâd say the library in his childhood would be one of his favorite places aka one place he also would probably sleep over in if not for the librarian kicking him out :âD iâd say if he didnât get in engrossed in academia and teaching, heâd probably be a librarian ( which he was in his second life <3 )
âł What's a place he's always wanted to visit but hasn't?Â
Anywhere that has hyuk in it. OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY, i would sayâŠ.maybe yeongju? Since thatâs where he was born originally although patrick wouldnât actually know that until like after the whole thing with felicity went down. But i do think it is a place that would also help explain some of the strange images he sometimes gets of his past life as a seonbiâŠ
âł Does he know that a certain detective named Lee Hyuk always carries him in his heart and mind and misses him like nuts and blames me for being away (IUWEHDWEIUDHWD)?
Hmmm, i donât know hyukâŠyou might have to say a bit louder for patrick in the back to hear JFKLSJDFLSKJ jkjk, pls donât apologize for your speed, patrick and i are MORE than happy to wait for uâŠunfortunately for all of us, you are stuck with me for as long as this hellsite is around and even when it dies i'll still be haunting u <3
but since youâve mentioned this, patrick has snuck out here to say something:
âAh, spoken like a true pigeonâ do let him know to come back as soon as he can. Iâll have a Crosstown donut and an iced americano ready for him.â
#jeoseungsaja#long post cw#the gentleman ( answered. )#the gentleman ( verse one. )#the gentleman ( headcanons. )#a question of justice ( answered. )#the color of mercy is green ( meta. )#no read mores bc these are all happi thoughts JFKLSDJ :DDD#BUT ALSO!! THANKS ALEX <3 <3 <3#JFLSDKJFSLDJ as usual i rambled for paragraphs on paragraphs and patrick said no apologies#no regrets at all <3#oh!! and also to summarize the first question....#basically the way i see it- even tho his base was lay*ton....lay*ton is more about knowing solely the truth....whereas patrick's base#concept also was more exploring...mercy forgiveness#which might also explain why he ended up softening over time :'D#ur other questions....they'll coming don't worry......don't be scared although expect pain there <3#but for now pls take!! a happier patrick i forget that verse one is technically his canon verse#bc nowadays i consider verse two to also be his other main verse :'D#BUT I HOPE?? i answered ur questions well- and ur last bullet point had me đ„șđ„șđ„ș#pls don't ever apologize for being slow!! u're stuck with me for life anyways :'DDDD#BUT ALSO MISS YOU LOTS AND CARE YOU LOTS <3 <3 <3#have a wonderful day in the meanwhile my dear friend đđđ
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Readers rant time, motivated by my need for book recs. (Not looking to argue, just looking for books plz):
Ok there's a reason we (youngish and not so youngish) adults keep reading YA (teen) fiction. The tropes, the action and excitement, and especially the romance and simp worthy love interests.
Back when I was actually a teen/tween the YA books usually had much deeper topics of exploration than the adult books did! Like His Dark Material, Uglies, Tomorrow When the War Began, the Time quintet, Hunger Games, Speak, Don't You Dare Read This Mrs. Dunfree etc.
But I'm so tired of reading YA... the market is completely oversaturated now, mostly it's crap, knock offs of the more successful books, and most never even coming close to the quality and impact of its predecessors. Old school YA from the 90's and early 2000's tackled a lot of deep topics, with gray characters, themes dealing with all the nuisance in surviving and experiencing real world issues like suicide, addiction, mental illness, abuse, and the horror of war. (Tho I am very glad theres more lgbtqa stories these days than there were back in my day, that's a huge plus).
Now YA is so often just tumblr pc crap đ€Šââïž like do you think Speak would go over well if it was published today? Or the indie film adaptation? People would say kids had no business reading it! But you know what? Kids are raped every day, and they need stories to
A) help them recognize what happened to them
B) have a character to empathize with (soooo important in recovery)
C) know how to support a friend if it happens to them.
(Kristin Stewarts first film role I think, she was only 14, played a highschool freshman who was date raped by a senior and the story followed her dealing with the mental, physical, and emotional repercussions of her trauma, the reactions of her peers, friends, teachers, and family etc. It's an excellent little film and book, and Kristin Stewart really shows off a natural talent. Like she really is a good actress, if you ever saw Speak before Twilight like I did, you never would have thought she deserved the hate. But I'm getting off topic...)
So anyway I started trying to read adult fiction since the new pc YA is like junk food basically. And honestly it either doesn't contain the tropes and elements which I love in YA, or it's as poorly written as the YA. Like it reads like modern YA with smut (cough *acotar* cough. Not hating on it, I own all the books lol). And there's nothing wrong with those books.
Just... is it to much to ask for a fantasy or scifi enemies to lovers with like actual gray morality exploring something like idk, for example (not necessarily any of these, just I want serious reading to stimulate my mind) racial prejudice in a nuianced way (not a morality tale in other words), different religions, really asking what equality is, then add some action scenes, maybe a war with forbidden lovers elements for spice, with characters who are in their like mid-20's to 30's age group? Something that's actually literary material with adult characters and tropy enough to be fun? There doesn't even have to be smut, though if it was good I would definitely gratefully take it! (most published authors are terrible smut writers, especially men, I go to fanfic for that thank you very much, ya'll on ao3 are much more talented in that department).
Anyway, this is my long winded rant asking for book recs đ
Basically, I want tropey action filled enemies to lovers that is written more to an adult literary standard. (And don't bash tropes lol, Shakespeare was king of tropes lol. Jane Austen had fun playing with tropes too, often subverting them. It is possible!).
Some of my recent fav YA books have been Folk of the Air and Shadow & Bone. But the characters are just so much younger than me it was hard to relate at times, especially since it was written for a younger audience. (When I say I want enemies to lovers, I mean I WANT TO KILL YOU BECAUSE I HATE YOU enemies btw. I'm even fine with characters who only get to enemies who occasionally fuck for that extra spicy angst đ I like my characters feral, not glowing examples of morality). Villians, anti-villians, and anti-heroes are my preferred protagonists and love interests.
(And if you recommend GoT, I already own all the books. Started the first one but couldn't keep track of who was who, so I binged the show so I'd have actors faces to envision to help me keep track of everyone. So yes I do have those to read on my bookshelf. I just need some time to grieve that horrible 8th season.)
#looking for book recs#not looking to start an argument I just want books#looking for adult fiction#enemies to lovers#fantasy book recs#scifi book recs#books#tropes#literature that's fun#book recs#bookworm#booklover#book trilogy#bookshelf#best seller books#adult fantasy#stories
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(Okay like now Iâm thinking a whole fic with this postâŠnot my moodboard! Credits belong to @treatbuckywkisses I just thought of this random and ran with it)
Ghost!bucky x Reader
Mentions: death, fluff not sure what else đđ€·đœââïž
(Let me know if I should make a part 2)
You drove up to the house. It was definitely a old worn out house. Vines growing along the sides of the house. Your friends couldnât understand why you even wanted to stay in such a place. You couldâve stayed with them, bought a house or rented an apartment something affordable but yet you chose in the middle of nowhere. Honestly you needed to be alone, your life wasnât as enjoyable as people thought. For once, you just wanted quietness and some sort of peace. It almost was like something compelled you to sign those papers. Even the real estate agent was surprised you didnât decline the offer course you thought the price was too good to be true guess they were practically begging to get this off the market. Nonetheless, you found your homeâŠnothing could mess that upâŠ
âââ
It took about a week to get everything unpacked. Your cat alpine just was there for moral support. Come to think of it, it was kinda funny how you found the little fur one. Your first night you heard scraping and wimpers while trying to attempt to sleep on the air mattress you put in what would be your bedroom. You practically jumped out your skin half asleep feeling something brush against your skin till you saw this little white fluffy creature crawling on your stomach. âHow did youâŠI hate cats,â you groaned it was really strange you never saw this cat before no mentioned of strays yet here was this little ball of cuteness staring at you. You sighed âalright just tonight till I can figure it out in the morning,â you settled noticing a collar that read âalpine,â but no other information which wouldnât help but at least you got a name.
You finished putting the last book on your shelf âFinally,â you felt so productive you did this all on your own no help. Not that you needed it you spent doing that most of your life anyway. âOkay alpine we are finally in.â You petted her while she sat on her little castle. You couldnât deny she grew on you and with fast shipping you made her feel cozy besides you really didnât want to be totally alone or so you thought.
You ordered Chinese, made a bath, drank wine. Had yourself a little selfcare moment before you would get to work after the weekend. Luckily you had a stay at home job thank god for that, you were a writer and your best place was at home to write.
The night carried on, you eventually grabbed a book from your shelf. You had tons of books and figured that would help you fall right to sleep. Alpine found her way beside you while you read it was nice. You let yourself escape reality channeling into another world. It was going great for a while. *thud* it was enough to make you jump again. âWhat the hellâŠâ you sat the book down sitting up maybe you were just going crazy for a moment you did drink a couple of glasses of wine. You wait a few good seconds nothing. You take a few breathes letting out a slight chuckle âokay y/n you need to sleep,â you say turning out the light easing down to the sheets you just washed too getting comfortable. It was about 5 minutes later when you heard something else. You were just about to dose off but something was shuffling. Like footsteps, they were heavy and the sound was getting closer to the door. You turn to your side alpine was there practically asleep.
âOkay hell no.â You hissed turning on the lamp kinda shaking some. âNo your a bad bitch, someone is in this house you shouldâve gotten cameras or something dumbass,â you scolded to yourself getting up grabbing the nearest object to you in your drawer. A taser. You always kept it in there it was a Christmas gift from your best friend as a joke but damn sure might come in handy. You practically tip toed to the door opening it quietly as you could though a little creek from the door didnât helped. You grabbed your phone too creeping through the dark fuck you hated the dark. You were scared as hell didnât care but if someone did break in best not to draw attention to yourself. Barely any light from the windows around helped. As you walked, breathing heavy again. You started to smell something. It was like a woodsy scent, pine maybe. Kinda reminded you of the fresh balsam candle your mom would light around this time.
The smell grew stronger as you walked downstairs. Still no sign of no one, it was getting cold too, like fucking freezing ugh you didnât want to run the heater yet but damn it was tempting. You checked around the kitchen this time turning on all the lights. Nothing not anything. So what the fuck did you hearâŠyou shrug it off and went back to bed eventually falling into a deep sleep.
ââââ
A couple weeks carried on, you sat on your porch with your laptop writing. It was cold yet the sun was out you drank some coffee. You listen to some music chilling attempting to write a murder mystery. Your phone buzzed and a text message from your best friend popped up.
Dude you gotta see thisâŠI told you buying that house was a bad idea.
*attachment file*
You shook your head and clicked the file. It was definitely your house. An article that read âthe tragic story still goes onâŠâ you frowned oh great this has to be good. You started reading it.
âJames bunchan Barnes, a former sergeant in the U.S. military. Born march 10, 1983 - passed on October 31st 2019â
You paused in your reading. It sent a shiver down your spine but you continued on. He was topped ranked in his division, his bestfriend was captain Steve Rogers. They saved countless lives earned their way. It was incredible but yet it made your stomach queasy. Why hadnât the agent mentioned this? Half of the town would know. You kept reading though learning about his family he has a twin sister Becca says she still resides in another part of town. Maybe you could see her or something. But itâs all too soon you get to the part that practically makes your breathing stopped. How he diedâŠ
âOn the night of October 31st, around 11:30 pm. James was riding his motorcycle down elms road at a speed of approximately 50 mph. Witness say he didnât stop, people started yelling noticing how close he was getting to the railroad tracks, the lights flashed yet he didnât stop or proceed to slow down. Before anyone could predict he collided with the train and the rest was historyâŠâ
You sucked in a breath âoh godâŠâ you wanted to cry you didnât know the man but damnâŠwhatâŠhow you would never know. And then towards the end of the article a picture was shown why they didnât display this at the top you wouldnât know. Yet you took it in. Honestly he was breathtaking, he didnât smile but he didnât look totally upset. Like a resting face. Short dark hair, iris blue eyes, wearing a black leather jacket, black t-shirt. Damn he was gorgeous. As the article stated they donât know what really happened if it was just poor timing or would heâŠyou didnât want to believe that. You closed out of the article feeling the wind pick up alpine somehow found her way to the curb meowing, looking up at the sky maybe. Kinda weird though how she didnât really move at all. You called out to her like 3 times and then she came to you.
You spent the rest of the day working watched a movie with alpine. You needed a shower went to the stripping down and got in letting your mind wander while you showered. You closed your eyes standing under the water feeling at bliss for a moment but something felt off. You didnât know but you didnât feel alone. You lift your head up your shower curtain kinda looked a little darker, like something standing infront of it. You quickly snatched the curtain opening it breathing hard no one there thoughâŠ.maybe the article from earlier was playing on your mind. You got out grabbed your towel standing in front of your fogged mirror for a moment to gather your thoughts leaning your hands on the counter bent forward.
You stare into the mirror. You couldnât make out your own image clearly but something made you look still. Like you were being pulled into a trance or something. You felt something on your shoulder it was warm, like hand resting on it before it trailed down your arm. Sending goosebumps through you your breath hitched. And then next thing you know you feel it on your other arm. Something hovering over you, the fresh balsam hitting your nose again you sigh out. Feeling a warm breath on your skin, it was inviting. You lean your head to the side closing your eyes what the hell was coming over you but yet you didnât want it to stop.
*meow* you sucked in a breath startled realizing alpine was between your legs looking up at you with those big eyes kinda like âyouâre okay,â you shook your head holding your towel still around you when you looked at mirror something clear as day read
âIâm JamesâŠâ
âare you afraid of the dark?
don't worry it's only bucky & lucky for you he wants to keep you around;)
#bucky barnes#marvel#bucky fic#sebastian stan#bucky barnes fanfiction#reader pov#halloween#ghost of you#moodboard
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So here is what bothers me about this whole âaffairâ.. And I am only talking about these characters and not emotional affairs or infidelity in general..
This whole sequence broke my heart when I watched it for the first time.. because John is supposed to be moral and good and basically perfect but he isnât.. Because that standard is unrealistic and unreasonable.. I am a johnlock shipper and I love both Sherlock and John so of course I donât condone Mary shooting Sherlock.. but letâs put that aside.. If John and Sherlock just platonic best friends even then Maryâs actions do not inspire forgiveness.. She shot the one person who meant the world to her husband, who was his family, his home, his support when he came back from the war.. Johnâs own fucking sister does not show to the wedding and Sherlock puts his life on hold to plan John and Maryâs wedding.. like what kind of a person is she??? How do people actually forgive her? Please think about it for a fucking second.. She knows what Sherlockâs death did to John and she still shot him.. She had no reason to.. She could have done literally anything else! She shot her husbandâs best friend to continue to decieve him about her identity.. In what fucking universe is that okay? It is unforgivable is what it is..
Anyway.. She is neither justified in her actions nor does she apologise to either Sherlock or John even once!! She doesnât even thank Sherlock for shooting Magnussen to keep her family safe.. after all of this she runs away in Season 4 when Ajay comes after her.. Can someone please explain to me what it accomplished? She wanted to âmove the target away from John and Rosieâ so she left them in London where there was real danger and fucked off where even Sherlock couldnât find her (or so she thought đ) How does that make sense?? She is only saving her fucking skin.. All this and SHE STILL NAMES THEIR DAUGHTER AFTER HERSELF WITHOUT TELLING JOHN THAT ITS HER FUCKING NAME.. I donât get it..
Why does John owe her anything? Why shouldnât he talk to someone who is happy to talk to him.. He does not even cheat! As per Johnâs own fucking text he was just getting to know her a little.. It does not count as emotional infidelity when your spouse does not even deem you worthy of telling you their real name.. itâs not a marriage of convenience or compromise.. the marriage is not even legal đ Itâs barely a relationship.. John does not owe her a single fucking thing..
People saying things like this is the day I lost my faith in John Watson??!! Why? Because he talked to a girl?? Texted her? Was happy at the prospect of talking to someone who thinks he has nice eyes? ( And by the way he clearly shows her his wedding ring repeatedly) (he is not hiding that he is married)
Even if this is taken at face value, it is not cheating! Thereâs no sex, no sexting, nothing inappropriate.. I find no fault in this.. Nothing wrong in this situation just Johnâs guilt because he is a good man..
the affair :: sherlock, T6T 4x01
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