#anyway i couldn't decide a favorite quote. i don't think that's one. but it's very informative
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"At this rather intimate gathering (intimate enough that the attendance would render the Great Hall hollow…not that there was ever much chance of the King hosting there, the chamber which is visible and accessible from the King and Queen's watching chambers, but here, here said Queen cannot enter without kingly permission), he watches the mingling lead into dance whilst sipping water, the only water safe to drink of this isle, far as he knows (the same, ferried from Rosamund's Spring in Woodstock, for it is certain the King wishes the newly arrived cardinal to believe there is nothing Rome has that excels anything available in England—although of course there is), splashed with just enough cold, crisp ale to flavor."
—Nowe Thus: Chapter 12
#apparently when i know for eight months what the last line of a chapter is going to be it becomes insanely long#things i am learning about myself...#im like. dropping hints. that im like. reading books#(god bless the floor plan layouts in thurley's books for all these blendable settings)#these tumblr updates....what is this text wagywrfeuh#anyway i couldn't decide a favorite quote. i don't think that's one. but it's very informative#while not being spoilery on its own#oh. i keep switching btwn mary howard and fitzroy. OH WELL#another fix. eff
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Here's my three! Let me know if you need any of my writing typed out. I didn't realize how small I made it until now.
First of all, I fucking LOVE the little emblems you've made for them. I was thinking about doing one but couldn't decide on what. I have a lot of ideas for symbols.
(WAIT I FORGOT THE QUOTES. Okay, i went and tried to write some but my brain won't work. I think Cue would call Saphonite "smoking hot" and call Karl "my whole universe" as inside jokes, though. Same brain with Cue.) 2. I assumed down bad was a semi-sexual term so I put it low for Karl. (Don't quote me on that my source is the vibe.) But I also think of him as having a kind of unintentional pleasant aloofness, especially at first when it's more curiosity than love. Good character arc? Anyway, all that to say I was surprised at how high it was!
3. We agree on a lot about Karl too! He is very trusting, accepts them as they are 100%, is chill about mistakes, is non-maliciously terrible at doing chores, does not understand gender, and is a corvid of a man (just found out this is a myth irl and am devasted :[ ).
4. I think we established that Cue's an orphan and that Sap's parents would be very accepting of his romances, or at least comfortable enough to lovingly embarrass him in front of them.
5. The nicknames are so cute. Wildcard is my favorite out of the bunch.
6. What were your ideas for Karl's "parents?"
7. I just realzied i've been spelling Saphonite wrong and including and H and saying it with an F sound, but I honestly like that a lot better? The actual crystal Saponite doesn't have anything to do with the story other than looking like how I imagine Celadon and mixing the nickname sap for the slang with nite for the pun of Knight--which Saphonite also does. Would you mind if we made it Saphonite so it's its own thing? Also, then I don't have to redo all of my tags.
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for the toh ask game- 2, 12, 20?
2. Already put my first favorite, so let's do second! It's...honestly a tie. I know, I know, cop out. But I can't decide which I like more. The two I'm tied between are Willow and Hunter. They're just SOOO. God. I love them. Okay. I know Hunter is. Basic favorites wise, but I like him okay. He's such realistic abuse rep, realistic religious trauma rep, it's,,, man. Man. It's. God. He's just a guy who's trying so hard to be good and do the right thing that has the odds stacked against him. He's a little unhinged and not like, a perfect victim. He's mean, he drops uncomfortable details about himself not realizing he isn't supposed to, they show the messy parts of depression which is a fucking REFRESHER. Also I just. Have a thing for clones that find themselves. I have a thing for characters that grow beyond their programming. I like how they go "Actually, growing up believing you're the chosen one would, realistically, SUCK." He's also really fucking funny. He's a sad wet cat, he's an extremely complicated character, he's also a basic bitch. I love him. I want to put him in a washing machine. Fucking loser.
Tied with Willow! She's. Man. I didn't like her much at first, I just couldn't get into her. But I love her SO MUCH now. Seeing the "bullied girl gets stronger" trope except it acknowledges being bullied sticks with you for life, actually is so nice. I love how so much of her development and healing is from learning to stop repress her anger and her sadness. In her mind, people start liking her again when she's strong, so if she stops being strong NOBODY will like her. She equates half a witch Willow, being weak or sad or in anyway lacking, with losing Amity. If she isn't cool and confident, people don't want to be around her. If she slips up for a second, everyone hates her (in her mind.) She views her emotions as the remnants of "who she used to be" that ruined everything. Hell, she views Amity treating her like she's weak as treating her as who she used to be. Like half a witch Willow. Like someone who would deserve that treatment. She needs time to get used to her not being that pathetic anymore. It's INTERESTING. She's so interesting. Chews on her like a squeaky toy. She's everything to me. I love her.
12. Honestly? Difficult question. First one that pops into my mind is the "do not underestimate me" azura quoting, because god it is SUCH a Luz thing to quote her special interest as she kills the guy who wants her friends dead, love her. But what else hm. I think also Luz realizing her greatest want. It's so...man. Man. Because it explains so much about her. Why the camp hurt her so badly, why she immediately latched onto someone who seemed similar to her, why she wanted to have some set in stone path made specifically for her. It's also just such a beautiful scene. Camilia apologizing was SO FUCKING cathartic for me. Healed my inner child a little and I'm not joking. Having a parental figure apologize for trying to make their kid normal just. Healed something in me, man. It healed something in me. The egg hatching was animated so beautifully, the color scheme, Luz crying, it's so BEAUTIFUL. It's such a. Good fucking scene. Man. The neurodivergent generational trauma is so real and then breaking that....wah. Man. Hm what else. Honestly? The duet. It genuinely made me realize "oh hey if I'd die it'd probably affect people", and I know that sounds dumb but. In my defense I was really depressed when I saw that scene for the first time. It's so gorgeous visual wise, fantastic visual representation of what's going on, SO well done, the music is beautiful and always gets stuck in my head, it's just. Very memorable for me.
20. Hmmm, difficult. I think probably Willow and Amity and Hunter. Bullied kids, disabled kids, repressed rage and constant anxiety of being in an abusive household. The abandonment issues of losing a friend. It's just. A lot man. It's a lot. Yes I know this is also a cop out shh.
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S01E01 We Gotta Get Out Of This Place
First off, apologies to the 12 people who followed this account back when I was camping on a SpiderDevil themed Marvel account name. This is now a Space Cases tumblr, feel free to unfollow if you're still around.
I decided to start writing here because I am, to this day, still in love with the 1996 Nickelodeon kids' show Space Cases. I'm a.) starving for content and b.) desperate to put my thoughts down somewhere and so here we are.
I'm going to use this space to do an episode-by-episode rewatch, go though the official website and show bible, find and curate other content I stumble across on the internet, post some old magazine scans I have that haven't seen the light of day since Livejournal, etc etc.
Today, I'm starting at the start and watching S01E01 "We Gotta Get Out Of This Place." I have the old VHS rips saved to my computer, HOWEVER, for this I'll be watching the uploads on the youtube channel "thespacecases" (link below) which has them in much better quality. My thoughts under the cut!
I'm going to be scribbling down my thoughts as I watch:
(For trivia and behind the scenes info, check out the episode guide on spacecasestv.com)
I'm trying desperately to read the Starcademy motto but I can't make out the first word. So something Sine Fronteras - ...Without Borders? I took a quick look around the wiki and spacecasestv.com but couldn't find it. Darn!
The opening intro to the characters is ICONIC. I can still quote it to this day.
Davenport: I believe in regulations and procedure, Mr. Band. If you added those two words to your vocabulary you could...
Catalina: Double it?
Hello, police? I'd like to report a murder.
Here we learn that Radu is the first Andromedan at Starcademy and it seems via context that he is the only one. Probably hasn't been there too very long. What a difficult thing to do, and then to end up in the remedial class at least partly because the students are prejudiced against Andromedans because their parents fought against them in Spung-Andromedan War. I believe I also read somewhere (maybe in the show bible??) that he was chosen to go by the other Andromedans because he didn't fit in with them. Maybe I made that up.
Anyway, fair warning, Radu has always been my favorite and I'm endlessly fascinated by the potential I saw in developing the Andromedan people.
I've also developed a soft spot for Harlan and his character development/potential for growth, and the development of his relationship with Radu, who he initially hated due to his prejudices against Andromedans. And I also ship it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(@shmeiliarockie posted their thoughts after a season 1 rewatch awhile back and has a head-canon that Andromedans don't have gender which I LOVE and have not stopped thinking about. Click this for the post.)
Ok, I have got to be more brief I think, I'm only a minute and a half into this episode. BUT THIS EP IS SO GOOD.
Davenport: The vacuum of space isn't fair either, Mr. Band. It can destroy anyone who doesn't have what it takes to survive. And...none of you has what it takes.
Devastating.
I want breakdowns of all the different symbols on their uniforms and what they mean. Maybe the prominent shoulder ones symbolize the planet they come from? Harlan has three polyhedral like pillars which I've only just now thought may stand for Earth and the Lunar and Mars colonies.
Catalina is the eye roll champion.
Radu's "What is your problem?!" to Harlan. Yes, bby, don't take his shit.
Yes, why IS the Christa named after an Earth teacher, why IS Thelma a Techno-HUMAN emulating machine?? I do wonder if the creators knew or if they were just planning to figure it out if they ever got that far.
Personally, I subscribe to the time loop theory wherein the crew in the future sends Thelma and the Christa back in time to pick up their younger selves.
Thelma has the best gags.
Goddard: Band, Helm. Catalina, Engineering. Rosie, Bova, Scanning and Tactical. Radu, take Navigation.
I love this scene, chills.
They end up going through the White Circle anyway: 7 years, 4 months, and 22 days from home. Definite Star Trek: Voyager vibes, which had begun the year before in 1995.
Davenport is complaining that she had theater tickets for tonight. Where, ma'am?? The wiki says that Starcademy orbits Pluto.
Harlan is yelling at Radu and Radu looks INDIGNANT. I love him.
Goddard: I was three weeks shy. Three more weeks and my career as a teacher would have been over. I'd have been back out in space with a crew. Instead I'm...
Catalina: Back out in space.
Radu: With a crew.
Interestingly, a similar line was used against me in a DnD campaign when my ship captain then-Warlock was bemoaning his fate. :)
This episodes rules. What a great start to a series. The creators wanted Space Cases to be a "Star Trek for kids" and as someone who is also obsessed with Star Trek, well, well done, you hooked me as a child.
If you've made it this far, thank you very much for reading. And if you want to talk Space Cases, feel free to reblog/reply to this post or send me an ask. I'd love to chat about SC!
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So I was going to comment I don’t know your favorite Yakuza character then I remembered it was Jo and I have to ask what specifically about him makes him number one?
if you're referring to my baddie baddies tier list, then that wasn't a tier list of my favorite yakuza characters it was a tier list specifically of how hot i found each antagonist to be unless you're coming from my DB blog where i said he was one of my faves but this/that amirite
regardless tho i will talk about why i love jo cause he genuinely is one of my fave charas in general and the reason for that uhhhhh he's neat :) and hot.
But In All Seriousness i unno, it's hard for me to explain why i like characters sometimes. i'll try under the cut tho cause It Gets Long
for jo, a big part of it is how he is as a father- or trying to be a father anyway. he didn't think twice about giving aoki up as a baby- he didn't even really care if he died or not. it was only thanks to masumi that aoki got that chance at life, and if it weren't for the fact he accidentally walked by masumi and aoki that one day jo probably would've gone the rest of his life without having a second thought about it
but thats the thing: they did cross paths that day, and jo's forced to confront the fact his actions did have consequences. he was forced to grow up out of that mentality he had as a kid- that if you don't look at the problem, it'll go away. evidently, they didn't: his actions had consequences, consequences that affected not only his or ikumi's life, but aoki was ultimately going to be the one to shoulder the burden the most because they couldn't be bothered to just give him to someone and tried to leave him in a locker of all places. it's what heightens jo's quote to ichi about taking responsibility as a yakuza all the more impactful in retrospect as well, and it's details like that that make revisiting the game all the more fun
but back to jo, he fully realizes what he did was fucked up, and that there's no conceivable way he can ever make amends or right his wrongs. joining the yakuza would be the next best thing for his goals, not like he saw much of an honest future for himself anyway. at the very least, he can try to support his son anyway he can no matter the cost- or at least, anyway he can for the most part.
jo's inability to kill masumi despite it being a direct order from aoki himself is also such a telling part of his character that makes me weep a little. he entered the yakuza with sole intentions of looking after aoki and taking care of him, nothing more or nothing less. ergo, it would be up to masumi to decide how much jo gets to be involved in his son's life
but that's the thing right: masumi would be the one primarily taking care of aoki. we know masumi tries to keep in touch with aoki via the beginning of the game where he laments his calls don't get returned, and masumi seemed to spend whatever time he could with aoki growing up based off of ichi's brief flashback.
being a yakuza boss be damned, jo got to see first hand how much masumi loved his son despite his circumstances that would've made a lesser parent quit or despise him- that despite his status as a yakuza boss, he would be there and be an active presence in aoki's life enough to annoy him and think of him as nothing more than a helicopter parent. i'm willing to bet that despite jo trying to brush off the sentiment that masumi was anything more than a patriarch to him, he probably did harbor genuine respect dare i say adoration for him. how could he not? even if masumi didn't know aoki wasn't really his son, he took care of him as though he were, complications and all.
if we wanna stretch it, then based off the RGGO iteration of sawashiro, he got his tattoo in direct honor of arakawa: if we're to believe that bits of RGGO sawashiro made it to Y7 sawashiro, then it's fair to say sawashiro's dedication and respect to masumi were immense (though we can make the argument that Y7 sawashiro might not have the same tattoo, or that his tattoo now could be dedicated to taking care of aoki instead- BUT this is speculation at this point, its just something i think of and i figured i'd add it).
which what makes One Of My Favorite Yakuza Scenes all the more meaningful: the day masumi is found dead, that's when we get to see jo really lose it and gives us one of the bloodier moments in the franchise. us getting to see jo actually puncture someone's eye in really heightens his anger with the circumstances at hand- i concede that jo was genuinely frustrated with how the yakuza were being toyed with, but i also dont doubt for a second he was sincere when he told ishioda he wanted to maim whoever took out masumi ishioda was probably thanking the stars tendo was the one to do him in amirite LMAOO. whether it's because of yakuza honor or having lost someone he cared about, jo's dedication is palpable and frightening when it's allowed to flourish
its weird to say tho someone said it a long time ago on one of my tags, but jo's sentimental for a yakuza, even if he wants to be a hard ass about it. he's made his life's purpose trying to right a wrong that can never be fixed (hell, his manner of fighting can be translated as "shame style" reaffirming that despite the years gone by and aoki's actions and disregard for him, he can't quell his guilt. never mind he was ready to take off ichi's finger based on the assumption he took aoki's money from him with his permission), and along the way i'm Hopeful in saying he found SOMEWHAT of a confidant in masumi to make his burden a bit lighter.
jo's by no means a good guy- not even by a long shot. he IS however an incredibly compelling character, and i'm glad that we get to see him somewhat again in LaD8 for however long they'll keep him around in that.
also his theme fucks 11/10 brutality's a fucking banger
#snap chats#god this is longer than i thought#i probably left out some notes but yeah. i love jo#i think he's great i love the arakawa family sm and jo's a real special part of it#i didnt think it would fit in the main text but one of my favorite throwaway lines from masumi#is talking about how jo can be softer on aoki compared to masumi#like UGH. I WONDER WHY //CRIES//#honestly i just wanna know how the family's arrangements were made yk what i mean#cause masumi would be with the tojo and sawashiro evidently would stick with aoki#i just wanna know when they decided that- i still believe jo went to america with him#that musta been ironically sweet of masumi huh. jo gets to spend all this time with his son#his bitch ass son who hates him and would rather see him dead LMAO //weeps//#but UGH AGAIN that just reinforces jo's dedication dont it.#it has me believe that if jo thinks about trying to correct his son he might be doing him another wrong#like Oh You Already Ruined His Lungs Now You're Going To Do This?#he might also have partial anxiety about being like his abusive father and not wanting to extend that to aoki#tho that part's more of a stretch if im honest#still it's safe to say jo doesn't push back against aoki because of his neverending guilt#uuuughhhh i could prob talk bout jo for hours he's just so good of a character to me i love love love him#i love it when characters try to do better even if it hurts them#I LOVE IT WHEN PARENTS LOVE THEIR KIDS AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM. EVEN IF AOKI DON'T DESERVE IT ☠️#its the parental issues in me sorry#but yeah if you read all this. thanks :)#and if not. well. i had fun rambling about jo anyway :)
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rambles beneath the cut because storygraph adds rereads to your yearly goal count and I'm the one person who wishes I could turn off that featureeee. I could journal these thoughts on the app but they'd be part of my first read and ew, no thanks.
I FINALLY got around to rereading the Charlotte Holmes books, one of my absolute favorite series that I just happen to...not talk about. Not here and not on my booksta.
So. In the spirit of blogging more, why not chat here!!
Firstly, this will be a later updated post because I've only reread books 1-2 and will tackle 3-4 later this year. Also, I first read these books before my frontal lobe developed and that's...is it weird that I miss the girl I was before 2019???
Anyway, my first read was strictly audio and my reread is a hybrid with heavy emphasis on audio.
A STUDY IN CHARLOTTE
Rating then, 4 stars (because Goodreads is half star-phobic)
Rating now, 4.25/4.5 stars (I can't really decide, also I decided not to change my ratings on Storygraph because I don't want to change every single rating I make for every book I reread.)
I love Jamie and Charlotte now as I loved them then. Back when I was closer to their age, Jamie was 100% my choice of book boyfriend in a world where I loved many book boy characters but didn't consider them 'book boyfriends' lol.
But I missed being in Jamie's head, how melodramatic he can be, funny without ever trying to be, his relationship with Holmes, being just as annoyed with his father as he is (I can't remember at the moment if I ever grew to like James Sr. in the end..)
THE LAST OF AUGUST
Rating then, 4 enthusiastic stars + a review that commented on how I couldn't understand why the 2nd book was the lowest rated one in the series
Rating now, 4 less enthusiastic, more so jaded stars (plus, if the book ended around chapter 7 we'd be looking at 3.5 stars.)
Maybe we chalk this up to age, but this book was a lot more angsty than I remember?? Or maybe I just didn't care back then and I because I care now, I notice it. Also, I was less confused about story events than I was the first round. So yay for reading comprehension.
3 very important take aways from the reading that I want to note here.
This book's title is SO on the nose and why did it take me 5 years later to put that together?! HELP--
The Holmes Family Needs Therapy. Or to be taken out. Or both??? Or either??? As the feelings of overall annoyance linger following my reread, I believe this book was written in a way to drive home the point of just how in over their heads Emma, and Leander, and Charlotte, and Milo are, especially concerning the rather stupid war between the Holmes and Moriartys. Everyone's batshit, just saying Charlotte made a grave mistake, young girl or not, and it was August who paid the price twice. Like...damn. He tries to warn Jamie and August is the one who dies. Damn.
However I feel about Charlotte and Holmes unequally yoked, toxic friendship with romantic overtures now (back then I was eating this shit up, and now I'm like....I'm too old to ship this with the extreme fever I did?????) the Charlotte POV chapters got me again. Probably like they did the first time I read this book. Some quotes down below??
Page 252, Charlotte berating Tom for his transgressions of book 1:
"You're disloyal," I told Tom. "You proved that with Mr. Wheatley. I swear to you that if you ever give up sensitive information again--if you ever betray Watson again--I will find a way to wear you as a hot. Stop looking at my screen."
Page 257, Charlotte expressing her love for Jamie without ever saying she loves him or that she's in love with him:
Watson had laughed. His eyes crinkled at the corners. Hours ago I thought he might have been dead. "There's also a view of the river," I said, and like a miracle, he laughed again. Oftentimes, I withhold information from Watson for this very reason. He resents it, I think. My "magic tricks." I don't know if he's understood yet who the reveals are really for.
Page 258, a line from Charlotte's internal monologue:
I'm a teenage girl. He is my boy best friend. We would be everything to each other until we couldn't.
Page 259, more thoughts on Jamie from Charlotte:
...Jamie was the only escape from myself I'd ever found. When I was beside him, I understood who I was. I spoke to him, and I liked the words I said. I spoke to him, and the words he said back surprised me. Sharpened me. ...Jamie showed me myself made better. He was loyal and kind, stalwart, like the knights from the old tales, and yes he was handsome, even with a bruised face and a furrowed brow, miles away from the place we met or from the places we called home.
We spend so much time in Jamie's head, with his thoughts, and how he internalizes information, events, etc. and there's no doubt that he's in love with his best friend, but the symmetry of seeing some of those feelings reflected back is something I can't ignore. And I'm not going to.
Anyway, I think I might join the masses in book 2 being my least favorite. I'll confirm after I read books 3 and 4, but it seems that's the direction we're going in.
#rereads and reflections#charlotte holmes series#a study in charlotte#the last of august#brittany cavallaro#book spoilers
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Favorite Quotes - Draco Veritas pt. 2
the image of Draco, shirtless, unknotting the tie at the waistband of his pajama bottoms, branded itself
just because someone has wavy white-blond hair and sculpted cheekbones this really cute way of sucking on a quill
"You know, this casts your desire to see Draco up against a wall into an entirely new light."
He wanted to play with dice. Ron did not want to play dice. It was a stalemate.
he was so beautiful: all that pale hair fired with sunlight, gray eyes bright
the temper tantrum he had thrown over a bad haircut in sixth year was still a legend. People pointed at the scorch marks on the dungeon wall and spoke of the incident in hushed tones.
"But everyone always told my father what wonderful manners I had."
you think I don't care. You think you can push me and push me and push me and I won't break --"
lifted the veiling silvery lashes slowly up over his smoke-colored eyes
for Draco, an oversight as serious as if he'd gone out with no trousers on
But she couldn't. She loved him, she thought,
the best-looking boy in school, who was also rich, who was also popular, who was also captain.
She had decided to love him, because he had saved her, because he was beautiful
had pinched Draco in a very inappropriate place on her way down the hall
Hermione believed him. No one would lie to Draco in the state he was in.
"I put the flames out," said Draco, to whom recollection was returning in rather lurid fragments.
"With a rain of blood,"
"Then all those snakes burst out of the wall. Although they didn't get the attention they deserved, I fear, since everyone was kind of distracted by the wailing chorus of the damned
Draco was more substantial, muscle curving over bones, stomach flat, she could feel every inch of him as he slid down. He rolled casually off her and sprawled on the floor, legs apart
"No. I'm just getting started. I'm considering it as a career. Whining for England."
If I'd dropped it into my lap we'd have a national tragedy on our hands."
the small fat man who had once been his pet rat
the narrow line of pale gold that ran from his navel
sometimes when Draco worked up one of his really blinding smiles, even Ron would look dazzled momentarily
because everyone would be looking at Draco Malfoy anyway
Did you know Malfoys are forbidden on pain of death from wearing powder blue?"
Draco Thomas Hephaestus St. John Vivian Augustus Malfoy, III, Esq.
"Is it true?"
"Yes," Blaise said. "I have seen Draco naked on a number of occasions."
Draco had subsided into a full-on sulk. "You are tired of me," he declared.
he walks like a duck! I never walk like a duck. I prowl, I strut, I slither, I glide -"
'BE QUIET.
if he actually knew where he was going, or if it was merely that the sight of expensive things relaxed him.
Ron took the opportunity to open his robe and do a brief and disrespectful naked dance.
a willowy blond aristocrat with languid eyes and a voice that sounded like Galleons
"Are you threatening me?"
"Maybe," Draco said.
"With what, exactly?"
"I'm not sure," Draco admitted. "I thought it would be more effective if I kept it vague."
her eyes sparkling. "Draco!"
she shrieked. "Draco, mon petit! I have missed you so very very much!"
they'll all want to be on a team."
"You're on a team," Hermione said darkly
spoil the line of your trousers." He examined his nails. "I usually wear nothing under my Quidditch cords."
his jumper rode up as he raised his arms, showing the bare skin of his flat stomach.
flung her arms around Draco's neck and kissed him on both cheeks. Fleur's Draco-favoritism was so extreme as to be almost funny.
"Send them back where they came from," Viktor snapped.
"It's on fire where we came from," Draco pointed out.
"True," Draco said. "I've been withholding sexual favors from him for years and look how angry he is at me."
"He has a girlfriend?"
I can't believe this, Ron thought. I've been kidnapped by the forces of evil and everyone is still discussing bloody Draco Malfoy's bloody sex life
"Hurt you?" she said. "You have, I think, been hurt enough." she whispered against his cheek, and began to unbutton his shirt.
"I'm not scandalized. It's just - you look good."
"Well, that's hardly headline news."
"I'm NOT jealous," Hermione snapped. "I just don't like the idea of her seeing you naked."
"Neither was I," she said. "I guess you're right. I am like you."
limited to 'Are these snakes poisonous?' and 'Hey, cute thing, can I buy you a beer?'
"was he hung about with crucifixes?"
"He was hung about with the Malfoy boy,"
"Don't sell yourself short, Potter," Draco said. "I'm sure someone with your obvious talent for imbecilic misjudgments will be making even bigger, better mistakes in future."
"I had a pet bird. It died. My father killed it, actually. I ran away from the Manor. My father sent the hellhounds to drag me back"
the wreck of his clothes, the ruin of his beautiful hands.
"What gives you the right to tell me what to do?" Draco snarled.
"I love you," Harry said. "That's what."
Soon there would be nothing standing between himself and the poison but his own failing strength.
"Oh, no," Harry exclaimed, aghast.
Draco was scarlet with the effort of not laughing.
that the one person in the whole fucking world that you can't do without, can do just fine without you?"
I told you I couldn't stand to leave you, that it was the greatest punishment I could imagine for myself
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Fictober '20 Prompt No. 5 — "Unacceptable, try again."
Category: Fanfic Fandom: My Favorite Martian (1963–1966) Rating: PG Timeline: anytime after season 1 CW: none Word Count: 1,172 Additional Notes: Wanted to use the moment in Thriving: Rebirth canon where this quote is used, but I couldn't, so I decided to make one up for a fanfic of the show that serves as the series' biggest inspiration instead.
***
PART I
Tim and Martin stood at opposite ends of the sliding door at the front of the apartment, watching the rain lashing against the glass, cradling the last of the expensive wine leftover from dinner. A gift from one of Tim's coworkers—almost too good to open, according to him, since he could never afford to indulge so much himself.
They'd marveled over the weather for a bit, as it hadn't rained in Los Angeles for several months prior and they couldn't hear the end of it from Mrs. Brown about how her petunias wilted worse day by day.
Interrupting their pensive moment, Tim cleared his throat. "You know…I've just realized that we've had a very peaceful month."
Martin, in the midst of draining the final dregs of his wine, turned to him with raised eyebrows. "Have we?"
"Yeah." Tim smiled out the window. "At least, I have. My editor has been great, I've been blessed with an abundance of wealth—as far as stories for the paper go, anyway—it's raining for the first time in ages, and things at home have been…real good." He glanced at Martin. "Haven't they?"
"Real good," Martin echoed. "‘Great,' I could even say. I'm having far more progress repairing my spaceship than I ever have the entire time I've been on Earth."
Trying to ignore the sudden squeeze at the center of his chest, Tim's smile widened and he too finished his wine. "That is great. That's…that's great."
Martin turned to start clearing the dishes from the table. "Dinner was delicious, by the way; I don't think I mentioned that yet. Your pot roast is beginning to rival Mrs. Brown's!"
Tim continued to watch the rain, the mild flooding on the main road and the surging river guided by the curb. The comfort of a good month had begun to fold gently within the overwhelming sadness of a creeping end. For a moment he pretended the spaceship in the garage was gone and the sound of other footsteps around the apartment had disappeared. He pictured the space behind him empty, devoid of Martin's possessions, robbed of another person.
"How have things been going with Debbie?" Martin asked from the kitchen. The sound of clinking plates and running water accompanied his voice. "I don't think you've taken her out in a while, have you?"
"…Debbie?"
"The girl you met while you were pursuing the Bridge Street jewelry store robbery. You took her out once and then you never really talked about her again."
Tim ran the rim of his glass against his lip, the contentedness he felt moments ago melting from his posture to puddle around his feet. "Uh…I haven't seen her in a few weeks."
"Why? She seemed to like you a lot."
Tim didn't answer for a while and the silence only disturbed by dishes being washed and rain against the roof inflated to fill the entire living room. It crushed Tim's ribs, ground into his stomach, and threatened to seep through the walls.
The idea of alone was something Tim could no longer understand. It used to be so simple, so normal to find solace in watching television by himself or going out to dinner with a beautiful woman or sleeping until two in the afternoon on a weekend. But now, the thought of waking up to nothing was almost too much to bear.
"Tim?"
He turned to see Martin in the middle of the room, and it hit him like a sledgehammer that he'd read his mind. "I, uh…well…we just didn't click, that's all."
But it was too late. Martin resumed drying his hands with the towel he held and gained a faraway look, his gaze shifting back to the window. "I'm not looking forward to leaving, either."
"Then why?" Tim set his glass on the table, unsure where this sudden confidence came from but knowing it had to be said. "Why leave at all? You've got a roof over your head and you're fed every day..."
"Mars is my home." Martin's tone softened significantly, laced with regret. "I couldn't ask you to stay anywhere you didn't belong."
Tim clenched his jaw. "I'm doing that already."
Martin's attention snapped to him, a knit forming between his brows. "…What do you mean?"
"I…the thought of..." Tim took to carefully pacing the room and turned his class ring absently on his finger. "It's nothing."
"Unacceptable. Try again."
"Well you read my mind already, didn't you? Just…read it again!"
"I'm aware that you're not happy about the fact that I could be leaving any day. I've always known that." Martin tossed the towel onto the coffee table. "It became clear very early on that the idea of me going back to Mars is distressing to you."
Tim perched on his desk, arms folded tight over his chest. "And what, exactly, gave that away?"
"The immeasurable joy that you didn't bother to hide when I almost broke every bone in my body trying to leave the first time."
Tim's cheeks flushed and he swallowed. "That's…not exactly what happened..."
"Tim, I know how you feel—"
"I don't think you do."
Another silence, this time sticky and urgent, coated the floor like rubber cement. Martin regarded Tim with far less surprise than was expected, but it existed nonetheless, and it closed Tim's throat with excessive force.
"Where am I," Tim said softly, jabbing a finger into his own chest before extending it toward Martin, "without you?"
Martin didn't respond.
As reality crumbled around him, Tim continued on. "Have you met any of my friends?"
"No—"
"Because there aren't any. There are colleagues. But there are no friends. I can't keep a girl with me. I don't…I don't want to keep a girl with me. I am the best version of myself…with you." Tim startled at his own words and the feeling of heat prickling at his eyes but he couldn't stop the humorless laugh bubbling out of him. "I don't even know who I am anymore! What am I supposed to do after you leave, Martin?"
The lack of "Uncle" before his name dropped like a brick at Martin's feet.
"You're supposed to keep going," he murmured. "I can always come back."
"Sure." Tim took a breath to gain control of his emotions once again and to calm the nerves that made his hidden hands shake. "I know."
The rain came down harder, making it impossible to see out of the window through the deluge.
The phone rang, causing Tim to jump before he answered it. "Yeah…hello?" He held the receiver between his ear and his shoulder and he rubbed his palms over his face. "…Right, Mr. Benson. I'll be there." He dropped the phone on the cradle and exhaled. "I have to go. There's been a mudslide downtown."
"Tim, we really need to talk about what happened here."
Tim fixed his tie and grabbed his jacket and an umbrella from the closet. "I know. Just…not now."
Martin stood rooted to the spot far after the front door slammed closed behind Tim.
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Also, just wanted to say something about this post:
Which I can't link, because I went anon, but like, it is this post that I am just going to copy and paste, so you know what I am talking about:
"i can’t decide if leo as a villain would be cooler if he were:
'calculating and always one step ahead
'brutal and jaded, only interested in his own goals and giving up on morals
'completely unhinged after a lifetime of being perfect"
(and I ofc I also liked the tags on that/this post too)!
And like, yes, I love all those takes on a potential Dark and/or Villain Leo. I think Option 3 may be my favorite (I am just imaging a completely unhinged 2012 Leo and/or Leo and I am loving it), but, I love all of them.
Like, imagine, Option 1 and 2 combined or 1 and 3 or 2 and 3. Or a combo of all three. Man, that would be awesome. Man though, I wish I knew some good Dark 2012 (mentioning 2012 Leo first here and/or a lot, because he is my favorite and love him, though I also like the other Leos. Like Rise Leo (a lot) and Comic Leo, like IDW Leo). Leo and/or Rise and/or Leo in general fics, because I do know some (including some good Foot ones, though I still wish I could find more, esp. completed and/or recently updated), but I could always know more.
Also, also, I loved the tags of that post I linked too! Good tags.
I also really liked this post, which I am going to quote part of, because I can't link (I am sorry):
"i think the reason i immediately distrust people who diss on 2012 Leo for the times he lashes out is that it shows they don’t have an in-depth understanding of trauma, or at the very least, character analysis and nuance."
I thought this was a really good post and analysis on 2012 Leo's character. It was cool/interesting!
Anyways, bye for now, I am hoping these long asks goes through, if not I am saving it/them just in case. Sorry for going anon too btw; I just got a bit shy-ish.
Continuing where that last long Anon Ask of mine left off with this one. Asks 2 of 2.
LMAO option 3 is definitely my favorite too - there's something just So nifty about someone who's normally so poised and famed for being in control losing all of that stiffness and becoming deranged. it's funner to imagine the horror everyone else feels when they finally realize how far they've pushed him :)
and dw you're in good company, 2012 leo is Absolutely my poor little meow meow (if you couldn't tell). *puts him in a jar and shakes it violently*
i'm so sorry anon, i WISH i could rec you some good dark!leo fics, but aside from Foot AUs, i'm in a bit of a drought myself. i know @this-world-of-beautiful-monsters (This_world_of_beautiful_monsters on ao3) writes a lot of amazing ambiguous/morally gray 2012 and IDW Leo, especially in her ABC TMNT / other prompt collections, but i'm not sure if that's the villain you want :(
and yoo thank you so much for liking my silly little 2012 leo rant! it's a bit of an emotional mess (esp bc tumblr messed up the formating and i only realized AFTER people started rbing it sigh), but. hey. at least someone enjoys it? LDJFK thank u !
dude don't be sorry for going on anon or not being able to link !! i like any interaction at all!!! and tbh w u i still send asks on anon to mutuals i talk to outside of tumblr. i totally get it :]]
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So as per the episode release for csi vegas episode 4, Catherine and her daughter are now estranged…which I find odd considering last year they were living in Dublin and Catherine had just became a grandmother. I haven’t watched the first episode yet, but reading this is making me not want to…the writers surely couldn’t have messed up Catherine’s return with such a glaringly obvious continuity error?
hi, anon!
i'm not watching s2, so i don't have any context for what's going on.
all i can say is:
estrangements can happen fast—maybe catherine didn't get along with the other parent of lindsey's child and lindsey chose to side with her significant other over her mom or catherine overstepped her bounds as a grandmother so lindsey told her she couldn't be around the baby anymore or catherine didn't approve of lindsey leaving the las vegas crime lab and kept making her displeasure known to the point where lindsey just got tired of it and cut off contact; alternately, maybe lindsey said or did something really offensive to catherine or was making choices catherine didn't support so catherine was the one to break the bond; maybe they fought over money or lindsey's inheritance from sam or whatever is going on with the casino (i think i've seen it floating around somewhere that catherine's been kicked off of the board of directors under ~mysterious circumstances~; perhaps lindsey somehow had something to do with her removal)—so it's not necessarily a continuity error or unrealistic that they might have been on good terms last year and bad terms this one. like. there are ways to write the scenario to where it would potentially be plausible, particularly given that catherine and lindsey's relationship has, ever since lindsey hit adolescence, always been a bit volatile. it would just depend on how the writers framed things, you know? (to quote my favorite author: "it’s always wrong, of course, to say that you can’t do this or you can’t do that in fiction. you can do anything you can get away with, but nobody has ever gotten away with much.")
that said, i also wouldn't at all put it past this particular group of writers to have biffed the continuity between s1 and s2, given that they couldn't even maintain plot threads within the course of a single ten-episode season last year. it's very possible that they either forgot all about the ireland thing or just decided to retcon it or have somehow otherwise written this scenario to where it makes no sense. they are certainly not above creating plot holes.
anyway, since i'm not watching the show, i have no clue how they might've scaffolded this development already in 02x01 and/or whether or not it'll be believable when they explain the nature of the situation in 02x02.
sorry i can't provide more insight!
thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.
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welcome to my youtube channel → kth
✳ pairing: idol!taehyung x youtuber!reader
✳ genre: fluff, taehyung scenario, stranger to lovers, reader is an artist who posts art videos on youtube
✳ warnings: none!
✳ words: 2.9k
✳ a/n: hello, this is my second bts oneshot/scenario. i just like to write for fun but if you’d like to let me know if there’s anything i can improve on please do so! i’d love to know how to improve. anyways, i hope you enjoy!
"Hey guys, welcome to my YouTube Channel."
You spoke in front of the camera. Sets of acrylic paint were spread out across the table next to a stand that held an 18x24 inch canvas. You were in the middle of making your seventeenth video, a highly requested one at that, and deep down you were ecstatic to start working on the painting.
Never in your life did you think you would ever start a YouTube account. You always considered yourself a very shy and private person, not one to go out of their way and broadcast themselves all over the internet. Your best friends, however, were two very well-known YouTubers and always found a way to include you in their videos and live streams. Somehow people liked seeing more of you, and so you were convinced by your best friends and the audience to start your own YouTube channel.
But you weren't very accustomed to bringing a camera everywhere with you to document and share whatever was happening in your daily life, you found it too awkward and you were still camera-shy, so you decided to create content in a way that would still keep you comfortable while doing something you loved.
An art channel.
Your channel blew up pretty fast. Requests started pouring in here and there. You became known for your very calm demeanor and artistic skills, so you took this as an opportunity to sell your works online as a way to earn some extra money for your future. Occasionally, you'd do lives to talk to your fans and you were happy at the support they showed you, which only encouraged you to keep making videos.
"This was a highly requested video, and I honestly can't wait to get started," you told the camera, mentally telling yourself to insert the comments and messages you got in your DMs to paint this Adonis-like human being. The requests started coming in after you had an Instagram live where you did some quick sketches while playing some of your favorite songs in the back, and people noticed one of the songs you played was by him.
"You guys also asked if I could sell this painting, but because of the "high demand"," you spoke, adding air quotes, "I'd like to keep it up for auction so the proceeds could go to different fundraisers."
You started mixing different colors in your palette and showed everyone the picture for your reference.
"So, without further ado, today I will be painting Kim Taehyung."
"Hey guys, welcome to my YouTube Channel."
Taehyung watched as you spoke in the video, looking behind you to see a bunch of art materials. The title of the video was left ambiguously, only being named most requested video, leaving him no clue on what it was you were going to create this time.
He's been watching your videos for quite some time now, ever since your channel started rising. Art was one of his major interests and he absolutely adored the way you made your videos with the calming, ASMR-like sound of mixing paint and how you skillfully glided the brush across the canvas. On days when he found himself tired and in need of a quick way to relax, he'd subconsciously find himself binge watching videos on your channel— even repeating several videos since you were only starting. He found it fascinating, but also because he found you interesting.
Because of your channel, he even created an anonymous YouTube account just to leave nice comments on your videos along with a private Instagram account to be able to watch your lives.
Needless to say, he didn't miss that one live where you played the song Winter Bear. It made his whole night, making him sleep with a smile on his face.
"This was a highly requested video, and I honestly can't wait to get started."
He watched as a bunch of comments started appearing onscreen popping up one by one as they gradually got faster, eventually covering you. It took a moment before it sunk in that he was the highly requested person they wanted you to paint. He paused the video, wide-eyed, before shouting in excitement. Jimin had to come in and check what the whole commotion was about.
"Y/n's going to paint me!" Taehyung exclaimed, his mouth turning into his famous boxy smile.
"Ah, the YouTuber you really like?" Jimin smiles before sitting down next to Taehyung who continued playing the video, "I wanna see."
"You guys also asked if I could sell this painting, but because of the "high demand", I'd like to keep it up for auction so the proceeds could go to different fundraisers."
"Wow, she seems really kind," Jimin says, while Taehyung only nods, his eyes glued to the screen.
"So, without further ado, today I will be painting Kim Taehyung."
He felt his heart beat fast when you mentioned his name, and without realizing it his ears have gone all red.
On screen, you began sketching, "You guys have also been sending me a lot of questions lately, which is why I decided to tweet about doing a q&a."
"What questions did you ask?" Jimin asked Taehyung.
"I asked her if being an artist is something she'd like to pursue," Taehyung told him.
"Ooooh, trying to get to know her," Jimin teases, "Our little Taehyungie has a celebrity crush."
Taehyung rolls his eyes but breaks out into a grin anyway, "I just respect her artistry."
"Right, okay," Jimin snickers, obviously not buying it.
Taehyung knew he was telling the truth, though. It was impossible to have feelings for someone who you only knew through a screen. He found you attractive for sure, but he of all people would know that almost no one is completely one-hundred percent themselves on screen. Genuine as you may be, there are still things that are best kept to yourself. He couldn’t lie though, if given the chance to get to know you, he’d never pass up on that offer.
"Someone asked why I don't use that much ready-made paint," You spoke on screen, "It's ‘cause I learn a lot from mixing my own colors, and also I just really enjoy it."
The painting was beginning to come together halfway through the video and Taehyung's question finally made its way to you. "Kimyeontan95 asks, ‘is painting a career you want to pursue? I love your work, by the way’."
"That was basically I love you," Jimin holds back a laugh, earning him a light punch in the arm from Taehyung.
"Thank you so much, kimyeontan95, and no, painting is just a hobby of mine and a way to earn some future savings. I actually really want to be a novelist."
Taehyung smiled after hearing you answer his question. Later on, the video was over and his portrait was complete. He hurriedly redirected himself to the link that was provided for the auction.
Something in him wanted to have that painting no matter what, so he set himself as the highest bidder and eventually had it mailed to his home where he put your work up in his room to cherish.
A day after your video was posted, you woke up to a thousand notifications from your phone. Hundreds of people were mentioning you in tweets and you had numerous missed calls from your best friends and some texts telling you to check your online art shop. You groggily scroll through your feed, a bit confused as to what was happening.
I wanted to buy this painting and I had it in my list, but now it's unavailable!
Y'ALL WHAT RICH KID SET THE HIGHEST BID TO A MILLION DOLLARS IM CRYING
@yourtwittername are you planning to sell a new collection?
a million dollar bid wtf swownwowksodiowl
Someone just bought all of @yourtwitterusername's paintings. I'm crying in broke eye—
but like what if taehyung set that bid? @yourtwitterusername
What?
I just woke up and my mentions are pouring. What is going on? You tweeted.
Thousands of replies began coming in leaving you feeling overwhelmed and confused on where to start. Everyone was telling you to check your site, and so you did. You felt your heart almost stop beating when you saw that every single artwork you had up for sale were sold out. Nothing was left behind. You checked your emails, and the confirmations were there.
How could this have happened overnight?
ALL MY WORKS ARE SOLD OUT?!?!?!?? WHO COULDVE DONET THIS??? You tweeted, hands shaking.
You felt your heart race, a wide grin that could go even wider if possible was plastered on your face. You tried to stop yourself from screaming in excitement but couldn't so you ended up jumping up and down and doing happy dances before calming down to assess the situation. Finally, you sat down in front of your laptop to see where all your works were being shipped to.
Replies started coming in.
CONGRATS YOU FIGURED IT OUT
WILL U RESTOCK
AHSKWJOA CONGRATS BB
I'M SO HAPPY FOR U
BUT Y/N WHO BOUGHT THEM ALL
Checking your emails, you discover that your art works were all bought by one person. Anonymous. There was no name and someone requested to have their personal information redacted.
Anonymous? Surely this wasn't a joke?
The person kept their name anonymous. You tweeted and muted the notifications just to allow yourself to focus on finding out who it was that bought everything.
At the bottom of all the removed personal information, there was one username that you were sure you've heard or seen somewhere.
@ Kimyeontan95.
Underneath the username was a short but sincere message.
"Your videos have always helped me wind down after a long, busy day. I can't express how much you inspire me with your talent and how I wish someday you'd teach me to be half as good as you, as I'm not very gifted in the painting department. I admire how you put your gifts into good things, and I very much idolize you in one way or another. This is just a small way of showing my support for you, but also because all your works are amazing and I'd love to have a small room filled with my favorite art works. I look forward to reading works of yours soon, future novelist.”
Feeling the heat creeping up on your cheeks, you smiled to yourself. The letter was definitely heartfelt and you wanted so badly to thank the person who sent it.
Later that afternoon, you decided to go on live to personally thank the anonymous buyer for buying your works and for sending that wonderful note. You fixed yourself up a little bit and pressed live as thousands of your followers began to tune in.
"Hello, everyone," you greeted, smiling. Replies with greetings started coming in and you couldn't help but chuckle at the eager messages your followers were sending. They truly made you happy.
As expected, several questions began pouring in.
"Right, so, I wanted to do this live because of what happened. As you may have noticed, all my works were suddenly sold out which definitely took me by surprise," you started, "Unfortunately the buyer left everything anonymous. They only left what I assume is a username and a short letter, which I will keep to myself for personal reasons."
@follower1WHAT
@follower2 will you keep selling your works?
@follower3 THATS SUCH A SWEET GESTURE THO OMG/
@follower4 am I the only one who thinks a secret admirer bought it
@follower5 check my YouTube channel I made a theory on who bought her works
@follower6 i rlly think it's taehyung
@follower7 I’'m so proud of you :(((
"If the person who bought all of my paintings is watching this, I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate the letter as well, you've honestly made me the happiest person on Earth," you smiled.
@follower8 AWWWWW
@follower9 ANON COME OUT
@follower10 i really wanna know what the letter says
@ Kimyeontan95 I'm glad :)
Your heart stopped at one of the replies. You took your phone immediately from its fixed position with wide eyes and began scrolling up fast because of the immediate replies coming in. Wasn't that the username?
@follower11 what's going on?
@follower12 y/n are you okay?
You could no longer find the reply so you set your phone down, fixing it back in place.
"For a second I thought the person who bought it was watching my live," you sighed and smiled nervously, "So anyways— I'd really love to express my gratitude so if they're watching, please contact me. I can't say thank you en—"
Suddenly the replies were frantic. People were sending keyboard smashes here and there. Only a few of them were actual coherent comments. "What is going on?" You asked as you began scrolling through.
@follower13 Y/N CHECK VLIVE
@follower14 TaEHYUNF IS ON LIVE
@follower15 I kNEW IT THOUGH???
@follower16 Y/N CHECK TAEHYUNGS LIVE
@follower5 Y'ALL I WAS RIGHT I SAID CHECK MY YT
Keeping your live on, you grabbed your laptop as fast as you could to check out the links being sent to your live. When it finally loaded, you could've sworn you'd have a heart attack.
"Oh, I think she's watching me," Taehyung grinned through his live, holding his phone in front of the camera. He quickly shows the viewers his phone screen, which showed your live of you watching him through your laptop. Your eyes widened and you looked back at your phone camera that was broadcasting your live, then back at his live.
Taehyung started giggling, "I guess we're just watching each other, huh?" He smiled. Behind him were packed and unpacked parcels of paintings you recognized were yours. If it was even possible, your eyes grew even wider at this, "Oh my god," you breathed out.
"I should probably introduce myself," Taehyung spoke, "Hello everyone, I'm Kim Taehyung. How are you all doing? Today I’m planning on redecorating my room after our practice. What are the packages behind me? Oh, these are paintings I recently bought."
"Are those my paintings?" You asked out loud, though you knew the answer.
"Are those my paintings?" Your voice echoed from Taehyung's broadcast as your live was streaming from his phone. He grinned sheepishly, "Yes, these are your works, I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all," You smiled, "You were the buyer?"
You mentally slapped yourself for asking such obvious questions, but you just couldn't believe everything that was happening now.
"Yes," he chuckles, "I really love your paintings." Suddenly the sound of Jimin’s voice echoed from behind and Taehyung quickly stood up to lock the door, knowing he’d get the teasing of a lifetime if Jimin came and saw him talking to you.
"Thank you so much, I—" Your voice began to crack and your eyes welled with tears that you tried to fight back, "I really appreciate it. And the letter, that was really sweet."
"No, thank you. Wait, don't cry—" Taehyung spoke nervously.
"I'm just so happy," You laughed while wiping the tears off.
The replies from both ends were coming in like crazy. On one hand, majority of everyone watching found the whole scenario cute and started pairing you two out of nowhere, though there were a few haters on the other. It didn't really bother you, you were just so happy someone you idolized noticed your work.
"I'm glad," he was watching you with a fond smile through his phone, then the sound of the Jin’s voice began coming from outside Taehyung’s room, "Sorry for this sudden grand reveal. I really can't stay on live for too long but I'd love to keep talking to you." He spoke.
"Oh no, that's okay," You spoke fast.
"Do you mind if I send you a message? Assuming you already know the username," he asks.
"No not at all, I'd love to keep talking as well," your heart was beating erratically now. You didn't have to see your face to know how red it was becoming.
"Alright, great. Um, before I end this vlive I just wanna say you're a great artist and to all my viewers watching this, please support y/n's artworks and her channel! If I see any negative comments, I'll be taking responsibility and I'll unfortunately have my agency involved in taking those out," he spoke in a commercial tone kind of voice, "And to y/n, I'll be keeping in touch.” The door from behind him suddenly bursts open and Jin, Jimin, and Jungkook rush inside.
“You were talking to her!” Jimin shouts excitedly.
“Finally!” Jungkook claps.
“Is that why you kept the door locked?” Jin teases.
“Bye, everyone!" Taehyung quickly waves goodbye to the camera and smiles before turning the broadcast off.
You sat there stunned, almost forgetting you were also on live. You turned to your phone which was still recording you, "That was unexpected."
Suddenly, a notification in your DMs popped up. "I'll go ahead and process everything that just happened now, bye guys! See you in my next video." You ended the live with a wave and smile.
You quickly went into your direct messages and found the same username, Kimyeontan95. You opened it and found a picture of Taehyung holding one of your paintings with a peace sign on his other hand, the other members behind him posing with your other works, making you laugh.
Your heart fluttered at the message below the picture.
I hope this isn't too sudden, but would you like to go out with me sometime?
a/n: hello! if you finished it, thank you so much for reading! i hope you liked it hehe. i think i’m gonna keep posting the stuff i write bc i have so many ideas for the other members as well. also this is fun hehe. if you wanna read my other work, let’s fall in love for the night, ← here’s a link! thanks again for reading and please look forward to my future writing/edits.
#bts#taehyung#kim taehyung#kth#bts v#taehyung x reader#bts oneshot#bts fanfic#bts scenarios#bts fluff#taehyung oneshot#taehyung scenarios#bts imagines#bts edits#bts icons#jeon jungkook#park jimin#min yoongi#jung hoseok#kim seokjin#kim namjoon#bangtan#bts au#bts writing#bts angst#idol!taehyung#taehyung imagine#taehyung fluff#bts texts#bts universe
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Book 10 Harriet the Spy
One of the central lessons in Harriet the Spy is that what you think you want isn't always what you should have, and boy did I learn that lesson.
The random letter generator wasn't producing plausible pairs of letters so finally when it generated "FZ" I decided a name starting with "Fitz" was good enough and I landed on someone named Louise Fitzhugh, who to my delight had written Harriet the Spy, a book recommended by none other than the ultimate intellectual herself, Lisa Simpson. I was just slightly older than the target demographic of the movie that came out in the 90s and I had assumed the book was from around then too. Imagine my surprise when Harriet was displaying some pretty crazy internal misogyny in the first pages (she's playing "town" by inventing people which she does by imagining a man and his occupation, then fleshing him out with a wife- ouch for women residents!). And her friend wants an "Indian Chief" in the town which Harriet counters by saying the person has to work in television somehow (a Native American can't work in TV? News to me!). Anyway, all this casual racism and misogyny made sense when I found out it was written in 1966 and not the 1990s.
Maybe I should have been a kid when I read this, and I would have gotten it more, but to me Harriet is just mean. She judges people heavily by their physical appearance and very few people seem to please her in that department. She even writes horrible things about her friends. Like that her second best friend Janie who works with chemicals in her spare time (mostly trying to blow things up- my favorite character in the book besides Peter) could never be a scientist who is she kidding. How is that a fair conclusion to draw? And her poor friend Sport who has to parent his dad she thinks is tedious for venting about it. She even hates some kid named Pinky as the worst thing ever, but it's never once demonstrated in the book he's ever done anything wrong. Show- don't tell- your characterization! I don't know, maybe you are supposed to dislike Harriet a little like Emma (from Emma).
The big solution that she gets to be a writer about various things she's seen doesn't logically follow. She just says the same mean things about people that got her friends mad at her in the first place, it's just not about them publicly anymore. Anyway, I did dislike Harriet slightly less in the end, so maybe that was the point. Sorry about ragging on that so much; the book does have its good points. There are good character pieces in the people Harriet spies on. Ole Golly is of course the most interesting character and an intellectual who is always quoting various things so there's a lot of good exposure to classic literature.
BEST LINE: "All the men in the Health Department wore hats and Harrieson Withers didn't know anybody who wore a hat."
SHOULD YOU READ THIS BOOK: As an adult, maybe, maybe not? I'm not going to stop you- it's not a *bad* book by any means; I just wouldn't put it on the top of my list like Lisa did. A kid might need a discussion on some of the latent issues from it being written in the 1960s.
ART PROJECT: Fitzhugh has a delightful inky scribbly illustration style which I couldn't quite match, but loved. Harriet has a bad dream portending doom about Ole Golly being a horrible crow monster with teeth, so I knew immediately I'd be drawing that.
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Ok so
I just finished listening to scare you to sleep, I think it was the 5th true horror episode and I got ✨inspired✨ because I've had a lot of weird paranormal and real tangible person shit happen to me, so let's talk about that!
Let's start with the paranormal
My childhood home has a lot of ghosty goos in there, and I constantly felt their presence, I think I was the most aware and interactive with the spirits there than the rest of my family
This house has only been in my family, it was built for my great grandpa and is was inherited by my Nana, who is the landlord of it. No one else has lived there outside the fam. Let me give some context before my experiences.
When my Nana and her 10 other siblings were young, they decided to do two seances there, which as good little mormon children they DEFINITELY botched whatever ritual they were making up or found in a shitty book. The first was to summon and speak with a girl they went to school with who had died. My Nana said nothing happened but for about a week, every morning, all the sinks and showers would be slightly tuned on, to where there was a small, pretty quiet but consistent stream of water coming out of all the faucets and shower heads.
They also did a seance to try and bring back their dead horse, which my Nana says that horse appeared in the mirror looking pissed, so they covered the mirror with a blanket, but the horse's face appeared through that too, looking more pissed.
My nanas favorite sister, and roommate in their medium sized house (small for a family of 13) woke up one night to find my Nana surrounded by black hooded figures while she was sleeping. So the sister booked it up the stairs to tell their parents, but when all three ran down to the room the girls were staying in, there were no spirits, although, if I'm remembering correctly, my Nana had been moved from her bed and was fast asleep (don't quote me on that tho!). This sister of my nanas saw the hooded figures two other times, once in the closet of the room my mom is staying in now.
Fast forward to me being alive and living in that house. One day after walking home from school, I see a very tall, black hooded figure standing at the bottom of the stairs leading to the basement. At this point in my life I was very used to seeing entities, so I wasn't super bothered, but I did do a double take anyway, only for the figure to be gone, of course. I'd also like to note that I didn't know about the story in the previous bullet point until a few years after this lil experience. I have also seen a very tall, black silhouetted figure leaning out of my mom's room from the door, peering into mine, but I saw it as I was running out of my room to go outside, so it was more of a blur and I couldn't tell if it was hooded or not :/
Whenever I was home alone, almost every time except save a few times, I heard a woman down in the basement humming and singing. I could never tell what she was singing, and the tune didn't sound familiar but was always the same (so after awhile it was). I was never scared of her presence, even as a child, she always felt, warm and protective, as though she were singing to cleanse and replenish instead of creep a kid out.
I get sleep paralysis, not as much as an adult now than when I was a kid. But when I was a kid, my episodes were intense, like I vaguely remember having an episode where at this time my bed was right next to the closet, and I kept hearing whispers coming from it. After some time, I could hear what they were saying and it was awful. Whatever was in my closet kept whispering for me to k*ll myself, or my family, it told me I was useless, I finally regained control and screamed for my mom in sheer terror. She says what I told her still haunts her to this day. Apparently I kept whimpering that the voices in my closet kept telling me to k*ll myself. There are only a few episodes I remember that differed from my usual.
My usual episodes consisted of one to three shadow people entering my room and standing at the end of my bed. Pretty typical I'd say for an SP episode, but for me, when there were three it was the worst. When there were three, the hat man was ALWAYS the one leading the other two. He'd open my door and stand at the foot of my bed, just staring, as the other two leaned by my ears and whispered, almost chanted rapid fire until I could move or they decided to leave. It wasn't English, I know that now with my amateur knowledge of languages, and honestly, thinking back on those memories, I would guess the language those two shadows were speaking was Latin or maybe Spanish. I still can't handle looking at pictures or watching videos pertaining to the hat man. Whenever I see him, and whenever I saw him, my stomach dropped and shriveled and I felt like I was gonna throw up, my blood ran cold, basically I go in full panic flight mode. I can hardly stand shadow people because of my episodes when I was younger.
My scariest episode was while I was on a road trip with my Nana, we stopped at her other sisters house in Utah. I was staying in the bunkbed room and was setting up the bottom bunk for myself. While I was doing so, the music in the room started playing out of nowhere, which freaked me out because I already felt like something was in this house and keeping close eye on us. That night, I had sleep paralysis, but all I could see was the bunk above me as I listened helpless to the music box playing for what felt like hours, rising and falling in volume, there was also other movement, like something was going through my bags and opening the closet. The entire time, my stomach was just in this fit of fear until I wore myself out silenty panicking and fell asleep, when I awoke the next morning, I saw blood on my hands. Turns out, my nose bled like a motherfucker while I was sleeping, it got all over my hands, bottom half of my face, my pajamas, the pillow, the sheets, it looked like a fucking murder scene and just from my NOSE. anyway, I hate that house and I'm glad my Nanas sister moved out if it.
Also I should mention I am a witch who practices with entities, and have done so since I was like, a child. I've never had any horrible experiences, I've met plenty of malicious, mischievous, kind, angry, sad, cheerful, bubbly spirits. They've got personalities like us and are just as unpredictable as humans, though I find humans scarier than any demon or ghost or lesser entity I have met (meaning not like an angel or god or fae).
Let's get onto how terrifying people are
I was the park with my dad playing on the monkey bars. We were climbing, having a great time, then this guy approaches with his dog, and asks if I want to give his puppy a treat. My dad said no thanks that we have a puppy at home. After the guy left my dad turned to me and said, "that was not a puppy, that was a full grown golden. And he didn't have any treats on him." I took that as a "stay close" so I did, and watched the man leave in his white car. We continued goofing off, and I noticed the same white car circling the school. The two times I saw it, it didn't click, but after the 4th time, it started clicking, it wasn't until about his TENTH lap around the school that I told my dad and we immediately went home, his hand did not leave my shoulder till we got in the house.
I was with my three cousins at their elementary school playground. On the way in, we passed a car that was running and looked like it had about four people in it. We didn't think much of it, though the middle brother, let's call him Peter, decided to check the car out, so he went up to the gate and peered through the windshield for a couple minutes (he was an idiot child, but to be fair we all were). We played and goofed off like kids do and eventually the car pulled out of the parking lot. At the time, I couldn't understand why Peter was so interested in this car, cause when the car left, he wanted to go check it out and see where it went. I told him not to and that it was dumb enough that he had a stare down with them through their windshield. He agreed and decided to ride his bike around the school instead. He set off and left the three of us playing on the swings.
A few minutes pass by, and we hear Peter's bike, so we run to the basketball courts to meet him, well he looks absolutely panicked, like there is terror written all over his face. He's speaking a million miles a minute, and we tell him to slow down. When he does, he tells us the three or four guys in the car were still at the school, but had parked in a different lot, towards the front, whereas the playground we were at was toward the back. Peter said as he was passing, the door opened, and one of the guys got out and started charging Peter, so he booked it on his bike to us. He told us he felt they were still coming, so like geniuses we waited to see if they were. I really wish we hadn't, because rounding the corner was a man wearing what looked like a fucking bunny mask, all I remember seeing was the mask and that it had a snout and longer ears, so I'm not 100% it was a bunny mask, but definitely an animal of some sort. Anyway we all freaked the fuck out and sprinted, leaving the bikes we rode behind. I grabbed my youngest cousins hand, let's call him John, and led us, alongside Peter, to a side in the school we often used for hide n seek, cause there were plenty of good hiding places there.
So as we're trying to find a hiding spot, we hear yelling and a car revving, Peter runs off, telling us he'll check things out. John is on the verge of tears, and I'm doing everything in my 10 or 11 year old power to stay calm. I get the bright idea of hiding behind some dumpsters and even suggesting we hide IN them. We end up going behind. The eldest of us all, by a few months, Kyle, stays out from the dumpsters, waiting for Peter to return. He comes back, sprinting in a panic, and they dive behind the dumpsters with John and I. He tells us he doesn't know where the one guy went, but that the car drove out of the parking lot and was now circling the school (he had to hide and duck out of sight a few times. We used to play car hide n seek, where we hid from cars at this school, so he just went from hiding place to hiding place that we all often hid at while playing.) We all sat in silence for a couple minutes, carefully listening for a car or footsteps, and in a few, we heard a car pull into the lot right next to where we were hiding. Their headlights shone over the dumpsters and into the locked doors that led into a hall lined with classrooms. They made a few circles around the parking lot then sped off. We waited a few more minutes then very cautiously crept out from behind these dumpsters.
We all agreed not to return to the back of the school for our bikes and instead went home. On the way, we hid from any car that John couldn't immediately recognize. This kid was obsessed with cars, and like your normal car guy, could name off the type of car, model, date of whatever car you pointed out to him, but he knew all this shit at the age of 7. So John was looking for a white Pilot and I can't remember the model or year or whatever, I just remember he was keeping his eyes peeled for a white Pilot car. We ran most of the way, until a car came, then we slowed and waited to see where it was coming from and where we could hide. We were most definitely in full survival fight or (mainly) flight mode. We successfully made it back to their house, told the adults, who were somehow unconcerned, like???? If your child or children are coming up to you, frantically screaming a group of people with animal masks chased them around the school, you're just, not gonna be worried at all?? That was frustrating, but! My mom and aunt did drive us back to the school so we could grab our bikes and drove behind us the whole way back.
Anyway, I have many more stories in both sections of paranormal and physical, human horror that id love to share but I'm tired of typing and need to walk my dogs. Sorry for such a long ass post, but I hope my stories were entertaining nonetheless! Stay safe out there!
#wallflowers lore#paranormal stories#real life horror stories#also please dont comment you dont think any of this is real. i literally do not care. stop wasting both of our times thanks#tw suicide mention
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Knives & Calls (Dean Winchester x Reader)
A/N: Okay, first I just wanted to do a phone themed thing + incorrect quote of b99 here, but the idea just kept going and I decided to go with it. That format — phone text — was already used by some writers on Tumblr, and I decided to give it a shot. Feedback is encouraged.
Summary: You decided to check on Dean after a hunt, but it's easy to notice that something is missing. A video chat might be needed for you to make sure that he's okay.
Warnings: sexual insinuating, very slightly angst, not beta'd.
You smiled for no one but yourself when the picture of a grimacing Dean popped up. You remembered telling him to smile for you to take a photo, and his first reaction being to turn around and make a face at your phone.
You furrowed your eyebrows together, confused about his answer. Of course, Sam always tends to be more careful, check everything twice and analyze more than anyone else. But not even his slight hunter-like paranoia would somehow trick him into telling Dean to stay one more night in a cheap motel after they got comfortable in the bunker.
Although, you could be exaggerating. The boys could'vee been looking for a brother time, which would still be unlike. After all, spending a weekend with your brother would be way better somewhere away from a random, probably stinky motel. Perhaps for the shake of the good old times?
Dean's next text confirmed that you weren't overthinking, and there was no such thing as your hypothetical brotherhood reunion. You had known him for years. Either it was after a sex marathon in the backseat, 5 hours of driving to the repeated sound of his old rock tapes, or even the apocalypse itself, he would always drive. Not even once had Dean Winchester said that he didn't feel like driving his beloved Impala.
The second message came when your quick fingers were dancing against the keyboard to question if they were all right. You signed in relief as another message arrived.
Yet, you asked anyway. After all, you were talking to Dean Winchester. You had tones of emergency kits for him and Sam's weekly wounds.
Leaning forward, you glared at your phone as three tiny balls shook, indicating that Dean was typing. He was clearly avoiding talking about himself, but there was no subtle way of getting out such a direct ask from you. The texting indicator would stop and start again, as if he was writing, erasing, and repeating a few times.
You narrowed eyes at the glowing phone. On the other side, Dean could almost hear the way you said his name, not putting up for his weak excuses. If he closed his eyes, there would be facility to picture you crossing your arms and giving him a worried, yet half annoyed glance.
You didn't wait any further minute, slipping from the text messages application to the phone one, and calling him.
''Dean Winchester, what the fuck is lightly stabbed!?" Your furious tone englobed the obvious concern. You didn't need to see him to know that probably wasn't even one of his worst injures, but you were still worried. You always were. It just seemed so close to losing him everytime.
He didn't miss his humoristic trait to attempt lighting up your behavior, "I was stabbed, but it wasn't deep. You should see the other guy, sweetheart. Demon barbecue."
Although his voice wasn't near shaking, you could notice a glimpse of fragility there, as if he had just left a combat and wanted to keep up the strong warrior facet, while going through a terrible pain. It was lower than usual.
God, you just wished he was home.
"(Y/N), I'm okay. Don't worry. I'll be home tomorrow." Dean said softly; he knew that you didn't enjoy being a part from him when he got hurt. But you couldn't come with them since you had another case in the opposite direction. In fact, you had got home about fifteen minutes ago.
Squeezing the cellphone against your ear like it held your sanity, you nodded, "Or you could just let Sam drive and come home now, so I can take care of you."
The suggestion was laughed off by both of you. Of course he wouldn't.
A bit more relaxed, you pulled your phone away from your face, looking for a certain button before clicking there.
Just like that, Dean's face saw yours through a screen.
"Told you it wasn't that bad." He arches his eyebrows. Truly, his face was barely hurt. Just a few bruises that would go away within a few days. Rolling your eyes, you answerd:
"Very funny, Winchester. Let me see your--" Dean's smirk at this caused you to shake you head from side to side. He was unbelievable. 42 years, injured by a knife, and he would still manage to have a mind of a 25-years-old. "--Wound. Let me see your wound, Dean."
He huffed but moved the phone towards his main injure of the day anyway. Dean lifted his flannel shirt a little, showing the wound that was localizated near to his ribs.
You had to admit, it didn't apparent great profundity, at all. Away from the top five hurtings you had seen grabbed onto him.
"Are you sure it's not too much pain?"
His camera was fixed on the celling for a brief moment before Dean's face was lined to the screen again. Your own unnoticed tense muscles relaxing to the certainty that he was all right.
"Yeah, I've gone through worse. Besides, magic pills." Dean smiled wryly, grabbing the orange bottle and shaking it before putting it somewhere the video call didn't catch. "Your hunt--"
"The easy but necessary kind of job. Sault and burn." You shrugged, adjusting the phone on the table beside your shared bed.
"So, Sammy is not here." His eyebrows raised in insinuation. You pretended not to know where he was going with you, offering a simply agreeing noise in response. "We could play a bit."
"Maybe..." You purred and glared at him. Interrupting his next words before he could even push them out of his sinful mouth, abandoned your shirt. His eyebrows raised, slightly surprised and very appreciative to the view. You grabbed the phone, allowing the camera to travel from your lips, to your neck, then shoulders and collarbone. Dean's eyes glared at your distant skin in anticipation, his cock starting to tremble from excitement. Fuck, he missed touching you.
Unfortunately, the eldest Winchester didn't get to see his favorite part -- your boobs. You just switched the camera from the frontal one, causing it to show the floor of your and Dean's room instead. A complain was on the tip of his tongue, but it didn't come to the light when his eyes glanced at your red bra being thrown on the ground.
"Sweetheart, let me see you, come on." He whimpers, pressing his teeth to his lip. If Dean couldn't touch you right way, he could at least see your wonderful body; perhaps even watch you play with yourself, while screaming his name.
Your answer came to the light in a soft hearted laughter. Dean winged his eyebrow, very well aware that wasn't your playful, teasing laughter.
You aligned the mobile once again, which focused mainly on your face, well fixed above your collarbone. Dean let out a frustrated sigh as your smiled devilish at him.
"Next time, you better tell me when you get stabbed and not make up excuses, Winchester. Then maybe you would get some tonight." You shrugged, enjoying the small pout on his lips. "You have to rest. Guess I'll go enjoy myself and imagine you here. I'm already wet anyway. See you tomorrow!"
" What the--" You hang up the phone without any further warning, leaving a incredulously surprised Dean Winchester glaring at his mobile as if it had just started flying across the room or anything extremely shocking. "WOMAN! COME BACK!"
Dean screamed at the phone as if it contained you. He tried to call you up a few times, but you just laughed about it from the bunker. Groaning, he stared at his semi erect and clothed member.
His phone made a noise again, indicating a new message. He leaned in and opened it as fast as humanly possible, only to let an exasperated howl escape again. You were one of a kind. Specifically, his kind.
Goodnight, babe. Try not to scream too loud when you are thinking about me and touching that delicious cock if yours. ;)
#dean winchester#dean winchester imagine#dean winchester imagines#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester smut#imagine supernatural#supernatural imagines#supernatural#supernatural fanfiction#spn#spn reader insert#dean winchester spn#spn fanfic#spn fanfiction#spn imagine#supernatural fanfic reader insert#supernatural fanfic#source:b99#b99 holds the quote about stabbing#person a: I was stabbed. LIGHTLY stabbed. I didn't want to frighten you#dean winchester x reader fanfiction#dean winchester x reader fanfic#dean winchester x reader smut
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SNK Meta Part 2: Ymir
In my previous post, I talked about my feelings regarding Historia's character this final arc. Now I'm going to talk about Ymir, her relationship with Historia, and my feelings about her send-off.
Was Ymir a good character?
In my eyes, yes. When she was first introduced, it was clear that she had feelings for Historia, making her one of the only canon queer characters in the series (assuming Historia reciprocated those feelings, which I'm pretty sure she did). She also appeared very snarky and cynical, but us readers came to learn later on that there was a much softer, sensitive side to her deep down that Historia would be the first to witness. These revelations, including her backstory, helped flesh out her character in a way that made her very interesting and mysterious for me. I especially loved how sharp and intuitive she was. I'm going to quote the wiki on this part, because I think it does a great job explaining her impressive observant abilities. "Ymir was extremely perceptive and could discern the nature of the people around her with alarming accuracy, such as Historia's martyrdom mentality, Reiner's split personality disorder, and Sasha Blouse's desire to look good in front of her peers by hiding her native accent and developing an extremely formal way of speaking. Due to her experiences and belief in self-pride, she tended to rudely criticize people for being untrue to themselves. Furthermore, Ymir was very reasonable, as she knew what to do during her kidnapping situation and reconsidered her options to accomplish her goals." I also enjoyed her interactions with other characters besides Historia. Take Connie, for example. When he lamented over the possibility of his mother being stuck as a mindless titan, Ymir tried to distract him, albeit not in the most appropriate way (ch. 38).
Connie complained about this behavior later on, but Historia defended her, explaining that she was only trying to stray his thoughts from that traumatic discovery. There were a few more moments between these two that were fun to see as well.
😂😂😂. Ymir's looking at him like, "You ruined it, Connie..."
I love the way she pats him on the head. Knowing how much taller Connie's gotten I don't think she'd be able to do that anymore.
This becomes one of the many times that Connie calls her "ugly" when she's in her titan form. Too bad she couldn't talk very well as a titan or else she probably would have had a smartass remark to throw back at him. It's looking back on scenes like this where I wish we could have gotten more out of these two. You can tell she cared for Connie and I know he also cared in his own way.
We only saw her together with Eren once when Reiner and Bertholdt captured them, but it was very interesting to see their perceptions of each other.
Eren found Ymir to be mysterious and wasn't sure if he could trust her, which isn't surprising considering this was the only time they ever spoke to each other. One detail that he couldn't miss, however, was Ymir's undying determination to protect Historia, a goal they would both come to share later on. Meanwhile, Ymir couldn't trust Eren because she found him to be too reckless and hot-headed.
These were my favorite qualities from Ymir, although to this day I still question the rationality of leaving Historia behind considering the situation she's currently in. Historia herself called her an idiot after reading her goodbye letter. Now that I've covered my reasons for liking Ymir as a character, let's move on to her relationship with Historia.
Ymir and Historia
I've loved these two together since the beginning for their complex and amusing dynamic. On the surface, you had the selfish, confrontational tomboy and the girly, kind and beautiful goddess. But underneath were two young women who were dealt a dirty hand early in their life and lead empty lives as a result until they found each other. Their story arcs throughout the Clash of the Titans arc were beautiful and complimentary, and it's part of the reason why it's actually my favorite story arc in the series. Everything from Ymir seeing through Historia's charade and urging her to live her life with pride to Historia telling Ymir her real name and the two of them fighting side by side in chapter 49 was some of the most empowering moments for me and I will forever cherish those parts of the story.
Ymir's departure
And now the part I've been most excited to talk about! Ymir's glorious, memorable and emotional departure.
Her ending...was not what I expected it to be. She left Historia at the very last second and gave herself away to the enemy because she felt guilty for something that was not her fault. Now as we know, Ymir is selfless at heart and she felt indebted to Reiner and Bertholdt for inadvertently helping her return to her human form after 60 years of wandering the earth as a mindless titan. She also decided that Historia might be safe after all after learning that Eren possessed the coordinate. I understand all of that, but what I don't understand is...well...everything else.
This was Ymir's last real appearance. We see that Ymir has willingly chosen to accompany Reiner and Bertholdt back to Marley to give up her titan powers at the cost of her life. Many people weren't so sure if that was truly the last of her though, because her death was not explicitly confirmed for a long time. We spend the next 33 chapters hoping to get something more, and then this happens...
A glimmer of hope. Finally there's a real chance we'll hear from her again, and it's got a lot of people buzzing with excitement. Sure enough, we finally get to see what's in that letter a few chapters later and are given Ymir's backstory. Here's where the disappointing part comes, though. Ymir makes it clear at the beginning of her letter that she will be dead by the time Historia receives it, meaning that this is the only goodbye they're gonna get. The last time they saw each other, Ymir wasn't even in human form. Instead of a proper goodbye, all we get is a short letter. The anime even tried to fix this by giving us Ymir's backstory earlier, but by doing that, her letter was cut short by a lot. All that was really left was, "Hi babe, sorry I left you like that. Oh well, I'm about to die anyway. Sorry we couldn't get married." And then this happened:
Historia touches Ymir's letter and is suddenly bombarded with visions of Ymir's past, including her chained up and about to be eaten. That is definitely not what happened in the manga and its honestly very confusing to me. How was she able to see all of that just by touching the letter? I get that she has royal blood and was able to access memories when she touched Eren, but Eren is a human who just so happens to possess the founding titan. The letter is just a piece of paper. Also, I'm guessing the last thing Historia saw was Ymir chained up so that there will be no need to bring her up again like Reiner and Porco did in chapter 93. I don't blame the anime team for making that change because I'll be honest, when we saw that one panel of her in her death chamber it felt very out of nowhere and I had a hard time concentrating on the rest of the chapter after that. So here are my main problems with her death:
1. It was off-screen
If I recall correctly, Ymir is the only major character in the series whose death was off-screen. All we got were her final moments, and there wasn't even any dialogue. That part especially bothered me because you can see that Ymir and Porco are looking at each other and Ymir's mouth is slightly open, implying that she's speaking. But what was she saying? You seriously don't mean to tell me that they both just sat there and stared at each other the whole time. She must have had some last words, but for some reason we never got to know what they were. At one point I even thought that Historia and Porco might cross paths at some point and he would be able to give her closure that way but no. No closure, just a last minute goodbye letter and a glimpse of her final moments that I now consider completely useless and unnecessary because we never got more out of it. I mean really, we even got closure and an on-screen death for Marco for crying out loud. Why give him that kind of attention and not Ymir? Not to mention one of the more recent guidebooks. Her character has the diceased sticker and it talks about how she went back to Marley with Reiner and Bert, but that's it. Not even the guidebook makes it clear what happened next. Yeah she died, but did anything else happen before then? That's what I wish we could have gotten more details on like, I don't know....her final words???
2. It was anticlimactic
We didn't get enough focus on Ymir's point of view after leaving Paradis in order for her death to have any kind of lasting emotional impact. As I mentioned above, it just felt out of place and messy. There was nothing memorable about her death either. It was quite simple and boring.
3. It contributed to an ongoing literary issue that has anti-LGBTQ roots
Yep. I'm talking about the infamous Bury Your Gays trope. Now before I go any further, I am not accusing Isayama of being anti-LGBTQ, I'm just shedding some light on something that's been continuously repeated in countless forms of media, not just anime and manga. Truthfully, I hadn't heard about this trope before reading Attack on Titan, but when I did hear about it, it only made Ymir's death even worse for me. I'm not surprised that it exists and I realize that this is a manga where death is inevitable, but keeping both women alive in the end would have certainly been very refreshing. At this point, all I could ask for is that Ymir and Historia get to see each other one last time. Obviously since Ymir is dead it will have to be through other means and I don't care how it's done. It can be in a dream, a vision or through Paths (which I think would work best). Seriously, there's nothing I've been more curious about than how Ymir would react to Hisu's current predicament and what she would say to her. It would just be great for them to have one last conversation face to face because for me, the letter just wasn't enough. Of course I'm hoping for too much, though. We've only got 1-2% of the story remaining, leaving no room for further closure. It's disappointing and frustrating, but no story is perfect. I'm grateful for the content that we did get, but I hope one day I can find a story like this one where the queer characters get to live for once. I'm aware of other shows like Steven Universe, Adventure Time and Yuri on Ice that give them good endings, but those shows are much friendlier towards younger audiences and aren't nearly as dark and grim.
Conclusion
Ymir was a very intriguing character while we had her, but her death was unsatisfactory and only left us with more questions. I am not going to trash Isayama for it, but I will leave this critique here so I can unload all my thoughts for others to read if they wish, or possibly share their own thoughts. We are coming close to the end of the manga, so now would be a great time to reflect on what we read and enjoy what's left of it.
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Destiel Chronicles
Vol. LXXIII
It was a love story from the very beginning.
You Are (Part II)
(11x21/11x22a)
Hello dear friends! We are reaching the end of the season 11!
Remember this is a series of metas focused on Destiel, and maybe some topics like Chuck, or Sam's arch could be taken superficially.
I will talk here about episode 11x21 and first part of 11x22, so I hope you can enjoy the last ones from this season.
Let's start!
Longing for you
What is important about Destiel in episode 11x21 'All in family' ? Amara uses Dean's longing for Castiel as a phone line to reach him through the angel.
And this is one of the most Destiel iconic scenes, showing us how canon is that Dean and Cas share a profound bond, that bond turns out so real, that even Amara (and Jack in season 13) are able to find Dean (and Cas).
I'm not giving new facts here, but remember when Claire Novak was walking down the road and Castiel appears in his car, and he talks about how an angel can sense longing? That's the connection we need to think over here.
Dean was in the middle of the night, again because he couldn't sleep, worried about Cas and the horrible torture he was receiving from Amara, and all those desperate thoughts, longing strongly for him, when Amara showed in front of him with Casifer in bad shape to threatening him.
Amara knows now Dean's Tru feeling for Castiel, and when Lucifer loses conscience she senses that longing too. She frowns and with a hand on Castiel's chest (and this is very symbolic, the chest is where the heart is placed) she reaches Dean.
This is one of my favorite references in the show about the relationship between Dean and Cas. Their profound bond is real, and I'm certainly sure we will see some of it again as endgame for Destiel. (We already saw it in episode 15x09, and I wrote about it in this meta here.)
So, we learned in the last meta that Amara can't contact Dean anymore, so she will use that feeling, that strong connection between the angel and Dean she has just discovered, to reach him.
Gif credit @mrsfitzgerald
When Dean sees Cas in that shape (okay, maybe Casifer but it was Cas' vessel) he became more desperate.
Even with Chuck there and all the questions they want to make him, Dean focuses on Cas. He cut his brother in the middle of a speech.
Dean: Amara is – she's in my head. Hey, I didn't ask for it, okay? She just showed up. But she's showing me visions of – of Lucifer. By Lucifer, I mean Cas, and he looks like crap – like she's really doing a number on him.
Dean ignores Amara used the connection he has with Castiel to find him, but we, as audience, know because the writers wanted us to know about the way Amara reached Dean.
Here again, is not Lucifer, but Cas the one that cares to Dean, because for him, CAS IS THE ONE BEING BEATED UP BY AMARA.
There's another Canon scene, in which Amara appears again in front of Dean, and when you look for the connection with Cas, you find Sam and Donnie talking about angels. Even Sam says the word: ANGELS.
This is perfectly settled by writers too, as we know, because in season 13, we will see how Dean gets very sad when he speaks about angels to the sheriff in episode 13x01, so when we say Angels, we say CAS.
Dean's thoughts were on Castiel
Another Canon fact, but building perfectly by Berens, playing with the switch between scenes that characterizes him, is the rescue of Castiel and Amara and Dean meeting.
These two scenes are switching with a purpose: TO SHOW US THAT DEAN WINCHESTER ISN'T BONDED TO AMARA IN THE WAY HE WAS AND MORE IMPORTANT, WHERE DEAN'S THOUGHTS WERE: ON CAS.
Amara: Thank you for reaching out to me, Dean.
Dean: You said you wanted to meet.
Dean doesn't want to be nice with her, 'I CAME BECAUSE YOU WANTED ME TO COME (Because you threatened me, and because you have my angel) is not something Dean wanted but is something Dean is using to keep her away while Casifer is rescued.
Amara: I missed you. And the... sensations you arouse. I know you feel the same way. So...what do we do?
Dean: There can be no us. We should just walk away.
Amara: Then why don't you?
This is a little ironic, because Dean is rejecting God's sister ONCE AND FOR ALL, and indirectly is because HE LOVES SOMEONE ELSE and because HIS THOUGHTS ARE ON CAS NOW, is as if he was saying WE CAN'T GO OUT, I'M IN LOVE WITH CASTIEL.
And it keeps being more interesting, because Dean asks for a separation, 'We should walk away' and Amara is like: OKAY YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITH ME THEN WHY YOU CAME? And we laugh because HE WENT TO YOU BECAUSE WE NEED CAS BACK.
Berens want us to make the connection with the switch of scenes.
Amara: Dean, give up your... smallness, your humanity and become boundless within me.
With my head again on my spec, I can't stop thinking how this is so related to it, because DEAN REJECTS THIS OFFER GIVEN BY AMARA, A FORCED BOND, will he be able to decide it for himself? And I meant, as the Destiel endgame I presented to you months ago, will Dean be able to give up his humanity for love? And be one with Castiel? Willingly?
Dean: You're right. I am drawn to you. And it bothers the hell out of me, 'cause I can't control it.
Perfectly said by Dean himself: IT BOTHERS THE HELL OT OF HIM, the feeling that Amara gives him, is not something he wants.
Amara: Then why fight it? What you're feeling is that I am the end of your struggle. Something stops you. Keeps you from having it all.
There's a huge misscomunication here, Dean is saying I DON'T LIKE YOU, and she is not getting the message.
We also know what is the only thing that stopped Dean to give up before Amara: Cas, and because the scenes between this one and Cas' rescue keep happening, the audience also knows it.
Amara: Where are your thoughts? Something's different.
Thanks to Master Berens we can answer this for Dean: CASTIEL.
Something is different since Dean found out Lucifer had Cas, and then that Amara had Lucifer who had Cas. So... Yes.
From daddy issues to Dean's worries about Cas
Quickly, I want to point a couple of facts from episode 11x22.
About Destiel, we had Dean worried about what Cas thought about the plan they were constructing between demons, witches and angels. He was the only one here asking for Castiel's opinion, and the concern he shows made Lucifer felt so done, and mocking him again. 'Yes, your husband is agreed', the line wasn't this one but it sounded like that, right?
Then, there was two scenes, and I want you to know I'm not talking about new things again, as I repeated a thousand of times, these scenes had been analyzed plenty in the fandom, but I have to mention them anyway.
When Amara enters on the place where everyone were waiting to attack her, she didn't look well, and the first thing Dean's body does is trying to reach her. Sam stopped him. It was like a reflection, vestiges of the forced bond
But immediately after that, we had our Destiel scene. When Amara hurts Casifer, Dean yells Cas' name and went to attack her.
Where's the power Amara has on Dean on that? Inexistent. Is gone when Cas is the one in danger.
Amara quotes: WELCOME TO THE END, as a foreshadow of Chuck at the end of season 14.
To Conclude:
Episode 11x21 are full of Profound Bond references and Destiel.
Is blatant here that Amara lost badly against those blue eyes.
Dean's thoughts had been always on Castiel.
Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one! The last from season 11!
Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper
@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @weird-dorky-little-deana @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha
@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel
If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.
If you want to read the previous metas From this season, here you have the links:
Vol. LXII, LXIII, LXIV, LXV, LXVI, LXVII, LXVIII, LXIX, LXX, LXXI, LXXII.
Buenos Aires August 4th 2020 7:16 PM
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