#anyway i am a good writer and everyone should read my free graphic novel on ao3 byyeeeee

[jackgoodfellow]

I've been viewing your Red Dwarf Pokemon AU and I love it. I just have a question: In that Universe, are Simulants and GELFs the same as in the original universe, or is it like Cyborg Pokemon and GELFs which are genetically engineered Pokemon (a bit like Mewtwo)?

Omg this is like my second ever ask!!! 😊

Simulants and GELFs are the same as they are in the original universe, but they all have thematically appropriate Pokémon too!

That way there can be Pokémon battles beyond Lister's Snorlax absolutely trouncing Rimmer's Snivy for the 100th time (after Rimmer demands a battle for the 100th time).

In some episodes, they run into Pokémon that are companions to other sentient life forms, and sometimes they run into planets full of wild Pokemon they've never seen before!

Other times, Pokémon on the ship start causing problems:

Lister leaving trash everywhere has resulted in way more Grimer than the ship can sustain and they need to find a trash planet for them to live happily in.

Magnemite have gotten into the ship's engine and are causing increasingly bizarre malfunctions.

A Ditto with sunglasses is out to cause problems by impersonating the ship's crew! Stuff like that!

Every once in a while, they can run into a legendary Pokémon. Which would be hilarious because the boys (with the exception of Kryten) are completely incapable of speaking to a majestic elder god with anything approaching the proper amount of respect!

They do probably run into a Mewtwo (or Mewtwo-like situation) at some point and then they have to deal with an angry super-intelligent, super-powerful, genetically engineered, malevolent Pokémon with major emotional issues.

It'd make for a great multi-part episode or movie special, and I picture it happening shortly before Rimmer goes off to be Ace (whereupon he will achieve the character growth we all deserved to see in canon)!

Early in the special, Lister's kindness is what first plants seeds of doubt about the value of cruelty in the Mewtwo creature's mind.

As the plot progresses, it seems more and more like a heartfelt speech from Lister might solve the whole thing.

But then, Lister is knocked out or temporarily turned into stone during the climax, and it is suddenly up to RIMMER of all people to make a last-ditch appeal to Mewtwo's sense of love and kindness!

("Well! We're doomed!" chirps the Cat, from whatever psychic prison he is stuck in. Kryten, who at this point has been reduced to his eyeballs by a psychic blast, somehow manages to nod in agreement. (But what they don't know is that I, Jack! am the one writing this special! And I am a very specific kind of writer.))

Rimmer looks at the possibly-dead Lister... looks at himself... and then looks at the furious psychic being killing them all...

And he ends up making an impassioned speech about how Lister doesn't deserve this. ("Maybe I do. Maybe even the Cat and Kryten. but not Lister.") About how Lister keeps seeing bits of good in everyone, even Rimmer. Lister even saw good in Mewtwo!

("Please... he's... he's a good man. Yes, he's a disgusting, childish idiot with less brain cells than dead liver cells, but he's a good person. Look into his brain. You have to see that. That has to count for something.")

This is the first time in the series we've seen Rimmer say something nice about Lister. The Cat and Kryten are dumbfounded.

And no one is more surprised than Rimmer that it actually works.

[kmclaude]

Forgive me Father, I have no awful headcanons for you, only a general question on comic making. How do you do it, writing-wise/how do you decide what points go where, how do you plot it out (or do you have any resources on the writing aspect that you find useful?) Not to get too bogged down in details, but I attended a writer’s workshop and the author in residence suggested I transfer my wordy sci-fi WIP into graphic novel script, as it might work better. (I do draw, but I don’t know if I have it in me to draw a whole comic—characters in motion? Doing things? With backgrounds? How dare, why can’t everyone just stand around looking pretty)

I was interested but it quickly turned into a lot of internal screaming as I tried to figure out how to compress the hell out of it, since novels are free to do a lot more internal monologuing and such compared to a comic format (to say nothing of trying to write a script without seeing how the panels lay out—just for my own sake, I might have to do both concurrently.)

As an aside, to get a feel for graphic novels I was rereading 99RM and was reminded of how great it was—tightly plotted, intriguing, and anything to do with Ashmedai was just beautifully drawn. I need more Monsignor Tiefer and something something there are parallels between Jehan and Daniel in my head and I don’t know if they make sense but it works for me. (As an aside, I liked the emphasis on atonement being more than just the word sorry, but acknowledgment you did wrong and an attempt to remedy it—I don’t know why that spoke to me the way that it did.)

I thought Tumblr had a word count limit for asks but so far it has offered zero resistance, oh well. I don’t have much else to say but on the topic of 99RM, Adam getting under Monsignor’s skin is amazing, 10/10 (about the Pride picture earlier)

wow tumblr got rid of the markdown editor! or at least in asks which means the new editor probably has no markdown....god i hate this site! anyway...

Totally! So first, giant thank you for the compliments! Second, I have a few questions in turn for you before I dive into a sort of answer, since I can give some advice to your questions in general but it also sounds like you have a specific conundrum on your hands.

My questions to your specific situation are:

did the author give any reason for recommending a, in your words, "wordy" story be turned into a graphic novel?

is the story you're writing more, like you said, "internal monologuing"? action packed? where do the visuals come from?

do you WANT it to be a comic? furthermore, do you want it to be a comic you then must turn around and draw? or would you be interested in writing for comics as a comic writer to have your words turned into art?

With those questions in mind, let me jump into the questions you posed me!

Let me start with a confession...

I've said this before but let me say it again: Ninety-Nine Righteous Men was not originally a comic — it was a feature-length screenplay! And furthermore, it was written for a class so it got workshopped again and again to tighten the plot by a classroom of other nerds — so as kind as your compliments are, I'm giving credit where credit is due as that was not just a solo ship sailing on the sea. On top of that, it got adapted (by me) into a comic for my thesis, so my advisor also helped me make it translate or "read" well given I was director, actor, set designer, writer, editor, SFX guy, etc. all in one. And it was a huge help to have someone say "there is no way you can go blow by blow from script to comic: you need to make edits!" For instance, two scenes got compressed to simple dialogue overlaid on the splashpage of Ashmedai raping Caleb (with an insert panel of Adam and Daniel talking the next day.) What had been probably at least 5 pages became 1.

Additionally, I don't consider myself a strong plotter. That said, I found learning to write for film made the plotting process finally make some damn sense since the old plot diagram we all got taught in grammar school English never made sense as a reader and definitely made 0 sense as a writer — for me, for some reason, the breakdown of 25-50-25 (approx. 25 pages for act 1, 50 for act 2 split into 2 parts of 25 each, 25 pages for act 3) and the breaking down of the beats (the act turning points, the mid points, the low point) helped give me a structure that just "draw a mountain, rising action, climax is there, figure it out" never did. Maybe the plot diagram is visually too linear when stories have ebb and flow? I don't know. But it never clicked until screenwriting. So that's where I am coming from. YMMV.

I should also state that there's Official Ways To Write Comic Scripts to Be Drawn By An Artist (Especially If You Work For A Real Publisher As a Writer) and there's What Works For You/Your Team. I don't give a rat's ass about the former (and as an artist, I kind of hate panel by panel breakdowns like you see there) so I'm pretty much entirely writing on the latter here. I don't give a good god damn about official ways of doing anything: what works for you to get it done is what matters.

What Goes Where?

Like I said, 99RM was a screenplay so it follows, beat-wise, the 3-act screenplay structure (hell, it's probably more accurate to say it follows the act 1/act 2A/act 2B/act 3 structure.) So there was the story idea or concept that then got applied to those story beats associated with the structure, and from there came the Scene-by-scene Breakdown (or Expanded Scene Breakdown) which basically is an outline of beats broken down into individual scenes in short prose form so you get an overview of what happens, can see pacing, etc. In the resources at the end I put some links that give information on the whole story beat thing.

(As an aside: for all my short comics, I don't bother with all that, frankly. I usually have an image or a concept or a bit of writing — usually dialogue or monologue, sometimes a concrete scene — that I pick at and pick at in a little sketchbook, going back and forth between writing and thumbnail sketches of the page. Or I just go by the seat of my pants and bullshit my way through. Either or. Those in many ways are a bit more like poems, in my mind: they are images, they are snapshots, they are feelings that I'm capturing in a few panels. Think doing mental math rather than writing out geometric proofs, yanno?)

Personally, I tend to lean on dialogue as it comes easier for me (it's probably why I'm so drawn to screenwriting!) so for me, if I were to do another longform GN, I'd probably take my general "uhhhhhh I have an idea and some beats maybe so I guess this should happen this way?" outline and start breaking it down scene by scene (I tend to write down scenes or scene sketches in that "uhhhh?" outline anyway LOL) and then figure out basic dialogue and action beats — in short, I'd kind of do the work of writing a screenplay without necessarily going full screenplay format (though I did find the format gave me an idea of timing/pacing, as 1 page of formatted script is about equal to 1 minute of screentime, and gave me room to sketch thumbnails or make edits on the large margins!) If you're not a monologue/soliloque/dialogue/speech person and more an image and description person, you may lean more into visuals and scenes that cut to each other.

Either way this of course introduces the elephant in the panel: art! How do you choose what to draw?

The answer is, well, it depends! The freedom of comics is if you can imagine it, you can make it happen. You have the freedoms (and audio limitations) of a truly silent film with none of the physical limitations. Your words can move in real time with the images or they can be a narrative related to the scene or they could be nonsequitors entirely! The better question is how do you think? Do you need all the words and action written first before you break down the visuals? Do you need a panel by panel breakdown to be happy, or can you freewheel and translate from word and general outlines to thumbnails? What suits you? I really cannot answer this because I think when it comes to what goes where with regard to art, it's a bit of "how do you process visuals" and also a bit of "who's drawing this?" — effectively, who is the interpreter for the exact thing you are writing? Is it you or someone else? If it's you, would you benefit from a barebones script alongside thumbnailed paneling? Would you be served by a barebones script, then thumbnails, then a new script that includes panel and page breakdowns? What frees you up to do what you need to do to tell your story?

If I'm being honest, I don't necessarily worry about panels or what something will look like necessarily until I'm done writing. I may have an image that I clearly state needs to happen. I may even have a sequence of panels that I want to see and I do indeed sketch that out and make note of it in my script. But exactly how things will be laid out, paneled, situated? That could change up until I've sketched my final pencils in CSP (but I am writer and artist so admittedly I get that luxury.)

How do I compress from novel to comic?

Honest answer? You don't. Not really. You adapt from one to another. It's more a translation. Something that would take forever to write may take 1 page in a comic or may take a whole issue.

I'm going to pick on Victor Hugo. Victor Hugo spent a whole-ass book in Notre-Dame de Paris talking about a bird's eye view of Paris and other medieval architecture boring stuff, with I guess some foreshadowing with Montfaucon. Who cares. Not me. I like story. Anyway. When we translate that book to a movie any of the billion times someone's done that, we don't spend a billion years talking at length about medieval Paris. There's no great monologuing about the gibbet or whatever: you get to have some establishing shots, maybe a musical number, and then you move tf on. Because it's a movie, right? Your visuals are right there. We can see medieval Paris. We can see the cathedral. We can see the gibbet. We don't need a whole book: it's visually right there. Same with a comic: you may need many paragraphs to describe, say, a space station off of Sirius and one panel to show it.

On the flip side, you may take one line, maybe two, to say a character keyed in the special code to activate the holodeck; depending on the visual pacing, that could be a whole page of panels (are we trying to stretch time? slow it down? what are we emphasizing?) A character gives a sigh of relief — one line of text, yeah? That could be a frozen panel while a conversation continues on or that could be two (or more!) panels, similar to the direction [a beat] in screenwriting.

Sorry there's not a super easy answer there to the question of compression: it's a lot more of a tug, a push-pull, that depends on what you're conveying.

So Do I Have It In Me to Write & Draw a GN?

The only way you'll know is by doing. Scary, right? The thing is, you don't necessarily need to be an animation king or God's gift to background artists to draw a comic.

Hell, I hate backgrounds. I still remember sitting across from my friend who said "Claude you really need to draw an establishing exterior of the church at some point" and me being like "why do you hate me specifically" because drawing architecture? Again? I already drew the interior of the church altar ONCE, that should be enough, right? But I did draw an exterior of the church. Sorta. More like the top steeple. Enough to suggest what I needed to suggest to give the audience a better sense of place without me absolutely losing my gourd trying to render something out of my wheelhouse at the time.

And that's kinda the ticket, I think. Not everyone's a master draftsman. Not everyone has all the skills in every area. And regardless, from page one to page one hundred, your skills will improve. That's all part of it — and in the meantime, you should lean into your strengths and cheat where you can.

Do you need to lovingly render a background every single panel? Christ no! Does every little detail need to be drawn out? Sure if you want your hand to fall off. Cheat! Use Sketchup to build models! Use Blender to sculpt forms to paint over! Use CSP Assets for prebuilt models and brushes if you use CSP! Take photographs and manip them! Cheat! Do what you need to do to convey what you need to convey!

For instance, a tip/axiom/"rule" I've seen is one establishing shot per scene minimum and a corollary to that has been include a background once per page minimum as grounding (no we cannot all have eternal floating heads and characters in the void. Unless your comic is set in the void. In which case, you do you.) People ain't out here drawing hyper detailed backgrounds per each tiny panel. The people who DO do that are insane. Or stupid. Or both. Or have no deadline? Either way, someone's gonna have a repetitive stress injury... Save yourself the pain and the headache. Take shortcuts. Save your punches for the big K.O. moments.

Start small. Make an 8-page zine. Tell a beginning, a middle, an end in comic form. Bring a scene to life in a few pages. See what you're comfortable drawing and where you struggle. See where you can lean heavily into your comfort zones. Learn how to lean out of your comfort zone. Learn when it's worth it to do the latter.

Or start large. Technically my first finished comic (that wasn't "a dumb pencil thing I drew in elementary school" or "that 13 volume manga I outlined and only penciled, what, 7 pages of in sixth grade" or "random one page things I draw about my characters on throw up on the interwebz") was 99RM so what do I know. I'm just some guy on the internet.

(That's not self-deprecating, I literally am some guy on the internet talking about my path. A lot of this is gonna come down to you and what vibes with you.)

Resources on writing

Some of these are things that help me and some are things that I crowd-sourced from others. Some of these are going to be screenwriting based, some will be comic based.

Making Comics by Scott McCloud: I think everyone recommends this but I think it is a useful book if you're like "ahh!!! christ!! where do I start!!!???" It very much breaks down the elements of comics and the world they exist in and the principles involved, with the caveat that there are no rules! In fact, I need to re-read it.

Comic Book Design: I picked this up at B&N on a whim and in terms of just getting a bird's eye view of varied ways to tackle layout and paneling? It's such a great resource and reference! I personally recommend it as a way to really get a feel for what can be done.

the screenwriter's bible: this is a book that was used in my class. we also used another book that's escaping me but to be honest, I never read anything in school and that's why I'm so stupid. anyway, I'd say check it out if you want, especially if you start googling screenwriting stuff and it's like 20 billion pieces of advice that make 0 sense -- get the core advice from one place and then go from there.

Drawing Words & Writing Pictures: many people I know recommended this. I think I have it? It may be in storage. So frankly, I'd already read a bunch of books on comics before grabbing this that it kind of felt like a rehash. Which isn't shade on the authors — I personally was just a sort of "girl, I don't need comics 101!!!"

Invisible Ink: A Practical Guide to Building Stories that Resonate: this has been recommended so many times to me. I cannot personally speak on it but I can say I do trust those who rec'd it to me so I am passing it along

the story circle: this is pretty much the hero's journey. a useful way to think of journeys! a homie pretty much swears by it

a primer on beats: quick google search got me this that outlines storybeats

save the cat!: what the above refers to, this gives a more genre-specific breakdown. also wants to sell you on the software but you don't need that.

I hope this helps and please feel free to touch base with more info about your specific situation and hopefully I'll have more applicable answers.

[jenroseyokel]

Awesome of the Year 2018: The Books

Happy New Year! ‘Tis the season for year end lists left and right as we attempt to figure out the best of everything from 2018. And of course, as a fan of books, music, and movies, it’s only right to get in on the list-making. Over the next week or so, I’ll be sharing my 2018 favorite lists. First up: books! This year, I set my Goodreads reading challenge at 40 books, and actually passed it. I’ve been setting arbitrary book goals for years, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve succeeded since 2007. Probably because of all the graphic novels and comic trades I read this year WHICH TOTALLY COUNT BTW. Ahem. Anyway. This isn’t really a best of 2018 list so much as a Here’s a Bunch of Books I Really Liked in 2018 list, split up into categories. I hope you’ll find something interesting here, especially if you’re looking for ways to spend bookstore or Amazon gift cards you got for Christmas… ;)

Newish Books by Rad Christian Women:

Every Arbitrary Book Goal should have a small correlated goal attached. This year mine was to make sure I read at least 50% women authors… and there have been a lot of GREAT new books from women writers in the past few years. If the “Christian women” section of your local bookstore makes you cringe a little inside too, check out these three wonderful books, all released in the past couple years:

Courage, Dear Heart by Rebecca K. Reynolds (NavPress, 2018)

Anyone who has read Rebecca’s writing knows she needed to write a book. She has a sharp mind, a poet's soul, a scientist's eye, and the most beautiful, tender heart. Also, she's an incredible writer who loves her readers with a love that radiates off every page. Buy a copy for everyone you know.

Wearing God by Lauren F. Winner (HarperOne, 2017) Girl Meets God was a formative book in my early 20s, and I’ve always meant to read more from this author, but somehow haven't. I finally picked up this one and oh man, for a solid month afterward I couldn’t stop thinking about it. With the eye of a scholar and the heart of a poet, Winner draws on personal stories, deep Biblical study, and a love of language to explore lesser known metaphors for God. Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren (InterVarsity Press, 2016)

Several years ago, James K.A. Smith’s Desiring the Kingdom helped me see liturgy in a new way, as not just religious practice, but the embedded routines that shape us. In this book, Tish Warren brings that idea to life as she walks through an ordinary day explores the holiness in our most mundane moments of living. You may not look at brushing your teeth or losing your keys the same way again.

Good Stories

This year, fiction reading was… all over the place? I don’t know if I read much that was OMG amazing, but here are a few that were fun…

The Fairyland Series 2-5 by Catherynne M. Valente (Feiwel & Friends, 2012-2015)

I am notoriously awful at finishing book series. I read the first Fairyland book maybe… two years ago? Yikes. Just finished the last one and wow, so fun. Colorful characters, a whimsical narrator, crazy locations, and a whole lot of heart make this Victorian fairytale meets contemporary fantasy a delight to read. 

Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (Harcourt, 1956)

Lewis’ contemporary retelling of the Cupid and Pschye myth through the eyes of Psyche’s jealous sister Orual. Second read for me, and even better this time around. Pretty sure this is Lewis’ storytelling at his best.

Strange Practice by Vivian Shaw (Orbit, 2017)

This was a year to embrace fun, nerdy reads. So there was the Star Trek spoof Redshirts (with a plot twist I totally saw coming... and I am not good at guessing plot twists) and my first trip into the Star Wars extended book universe (or whatever the heck they call it these days) and… this. A story about a doctor for the undead in London, trying to solve the mysteries surrounding a murderous cult and keep her monster friends safe. Not the greatest, but a fun Halloween read. I’ll get to the sequel eventually. (See also: bad at finishing book series.)

Poetry for Everyone 

Another new reading practice this year: always keeping a poetry book on the bedside table. Poetry books are best for leisurely dipping in and out rather than reading cover to cover. If you think poetry is only for the ivory towers, give these writers a try and think again.

A Child's Year by Christopher Yokel (Independent, 2018)

Okay, I’m biased here, but hey! Chris quietly released a new poetry book into the world this fall, and I’m a big fan of Chris AND his poems. A Child’s Year is a season cycle, sort of like his last book A Year in Weetamoo Woods, but this time it’s anchored by a four part poem recalling the journey of seasons through childhood eyes. And according to our friend Kirsten’s 7-year-old son, he gets the experience right. ;) 

The Jubilee by John Blase (Bright Coppers Press, 2017) For his 50th birthday, John Blase released his first poetry book, with a poem for every year of life. It’s rare for me to make it through an entire collection start to finish but these were just so good. There are poems about aging — the author’s and his parents’ — and poems that evoke wide spaces and natural wonder. There are psalms and parables, and meditations on dying and, yes, living. All of them finely tuned with wisdom, gentle grace, and a touch of humor in all the right places. How I Discovered Poetry by Marilyn Nelson (Dial Books, 2014)

When I heard Marilyn Nelson read her poem “Thirteen-Year-Old American Negro Girl” on the On Being podcast, I was captivated. And when I found this lovely hardcover in a used bookstore back home in Florida, I knew I needed to read more. This is a memoir in poetry about growing up in a black military family during the American Civil Rights era, told with gentle lyricism, warmth, and humor. Plus, the book itself is lovely with whimsical illustrations and family photos.

Comics!

I’m always on a quest to get more comics in my life. Plus knocking out a whole series in a couple weeks is a solid way to pad out your Arbitrary Book Goal.

Amulet 1-7 by Kazu Kibuishi (Graphix, 2008-2016)

After their father’s tragic death, Emily and Navin move with their mom to a strange old house that belonged to their great-grandfather… and so the adventure begins. In this fantasy series, the two kids find themselves in an underground world of demons, robots, talking animals, and a dangerous and powerful Amulet. A captivating and beautifully illustrated fantasy tale. Ms. Marvel 1-5 by G. Willow Wilson (Marvel, 2014-2016)

Y’all, I super want to be a Marvel nerd. But alas, I can't keep up, so I get my sister to loan books to me. Ms. Marvel is my new fave. A Pakistani-American girl from Jersey City has the power to grow, shrink, and stretch her body at will. So she’s trying to fight crime, keep up at school, and well, stay out of trouble with her parents. So fun. (Dear Disney: I really want this kid to show up in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. before it gets canceled kthxbye.)

The Legend of Wonder Woman by Ranae De Liz and Ray Dillon (DC Comics, 2016)

Weren’t we all mildly obsessed with Wonder Woman after the 2017 film? Another one I borrowed from my sister. A solid take on Diana’s origin story that’s accessible for comic n00bs (ahem, like me) who can’t figure out where to begin with beautiful art and a lot of heart.

The Classic I Finally Read 

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen I always try to tackle either a thick intimidating novel or an unread classic in the wintertime. This year, I worked on my Austen deficiency and discovered I relate a little too much to Elinor Dashwood.

What’s Next?

In the new year, I think my goal is less about numbers and more about reading widely. I liked the 50% women authors goal because it helped me actively choose to support women writers. This year, hoping to read more books by authors of color, explore some new ideas and genres, and hopefully do a better job reading deeply and taking notes. I’ve got my eye on Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge too, perhaps as a way to dig into new things I wouldn’t normally notice. And yeah... perhaps a monthly reading life update is a thing I can do here on the blog. :)

If you’re curious to see the full list of What I Read This Year and follow along with me in 2019, feel free to follow me on Goodreads!

What were some of your favorite reads in 2018? And what are your goals for the new year? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments!

[zsweber-studios]

Get-to-know the Writer

So, I wasn’t tagged by anyone, but I saw @alolancharmander do one of these earlier, and so I thought I would do it myself. So, here we go!

Rules: tag 5 or more other writers. If you aren’t tagged, feel free to use these questions anyway and consider yourself tagged!

1. Short stories, novels, or poems? Novels, definitely. With fanfictions, I’m willing to read short stories, but I always tend to write for worlds or concepts much larger than just a small one-shot.

2. What genre do you prefer reading? Probably fantasy and adventure the most. I still have some pull towards youth-literature (Harry Potter and Percy Jackson are always good series to go back to), but I’m also a big fan of classic fantasy and adventure--R.A.Salvatore’s works, along with Weis and Hickman’s dragon worlds, are what immediately come to mind.

3. What genre do you prefer writing? High Fantasy and High Adventure. Basically, the way I envision my stories are D&D campaigns, and see where the story goes.

4. Are you a planner or a write-as-I-go kind of person? So, this is difficult to say, because in the broad sense of things I am a planner. I think of the overall arcs of a story, what I want to have happen, and where I want the story to go. But with each individual chapter--well, it’s like I said above, it’s like a D&D campaign without d20 rolls--anything can happen.

5. What music do you listen to while writing?

Well, it depends. I’m better listening to soothing piano music--just find a random livestream channel on YouTube--but I also sometimes listen to high-pace Nightcore music to help me get into the mood.

6. Fave books/movies? Like I said above, Harry Potter and Percy Jackson are big favs of my childhood, and both the Legend of Drizzt series and Weis and Hickman’s worlds all have influenced me in my young adult life. As for movies, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings are big favorites.

7. Any current WIPs? So, I do have some Bleach fanfictions that I’m working on getting back to--Bleach: ReWrite the Past, and Bleach: To Pierce the Heavens--and I also have an original work I’ve been working on recently--The Legends of Valeron.

8. If someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would your standard outfit be? Okay, so first--if we’re talking about cartoon, I’m definitely the anime protagonist’s rival. Not the bad-guy, but the hero’s friend that keeps him on his toes and makes certain he doesn’t fuck shit up. Think Uryuu from Bleach, or Gray from Fairy Tail, except with less sewing, less stripping, and more random doodling and sketching.

As for outfit, I prefer slim hoodies and graphic-t’s, and either blue jeans with cooler-hued outfits or tan cargo pants with warmer-hued outfits. As the rival, though, I’d probably prefer darker, cooler-hued clothes.

9. Create a character description for yourself: Oh, we were going to get into the character description, eh? Well, like I said, I’d see myself as the rival to the anime protagonist. I don’t talk a lot, I can come across as aloof, cold, and dispassionate, but once I know I can trust you, I show my true colors as a goofball, a dork, and a faithful friend. I’m the one always wistfully chasing a dream, even when everyone else says I can’t do it.

10. Do you like incorporating people you actually know into your writing? No. I’ve had a lot of people learn about me writing and ask for them to get a cameo, and at this point it just affirms to me that no one from reality will ever be a part of my stories.

11. Are you kill-happy with characters? Not yet. Maybe at some future day--not everyone can have a happily-ever-after, after all, and some deaths are necessary for character development and plot progression. I’m not kill-happy, just a harbinger of necessary evil to the worlds I create.

12. Dream job? Probably writer. I know I probably won’t get there anytime soon, so I don’t know exactly what I’ll do in the meantime, but I’m gonna keep pursuing that dream.

13. Coffee or tea while writing? Hot Cocoa, actually.

14. Slow or fast writer? Considering the piece I love most right now, Bleach: ReWrite the Past, hasn’t been updated in a year...yeah, I’m gonna go with slow.

15. Where/who/what do you find inspiration from? I get a lot of my inspiration from R.A.Salvatore’s Drizzt series. It’s what I’ve based a good deal of my current style off of, though with my own twists. I also am a big fan of The Adventure Zone, so there might be some inspiration from the adventures of the Tres Horny Boys scattered throughout my stories.

16. If you were put into a fantasy world, what would you be? A half-orc bard. Seriously, a few coworkers at one of my last jobs told me repeatedly that that is exactly what I would be in a fantasy world.

17. Most fave book cliche? Least fave book cliche? Most: The main character having some unknown heritage that makes them part-god, or the heir of some forgotten or fallen kingdom. Second favorite is badass princess in disguise, because that’s always fun. Least: Bad romance in general, really. Like, please understand, I’m a sappy person, but I hate having to see fandoms get into almost deadly debates over who-should-get-with-who, girls that are just there to motivate the protagonist on.

18. Fave places to write: I write best laying prostrate either on my bed or on the floor, with one of those notebooks filled with graph paper to write on. Then, eventually I’ll go back and transcribe it all back into a Word doc.

19. Fave scenes to write? Character developement scenes. The ones where as I’m writing it, I am getting hit by my own feels, and have to take a break every few seconds to keep myself from getting tears on my transcript.

20. Most productive time of day for writing? Around midnight.

21. Reason for writing: I’m a bard. It’s what we do.

So, I don’t know if I know five people who are writers on here, so I’ll tag five people I think are all writers, and if they aren’t...well, they don’t have to do it.

@cody-baxter-isms, @braith-eisen-isms, @snakes-stan-and-stuff, @browniefox, @miss-pyrrha-nikos-isms

And that is it from me guys! As always, Stay Epic, My Friends!

[dapperfvck-arc]

✖ You have such an amazing John, and I kinda feel bad that I haven't been able to read the comics or had access to the movie. I don't have that much experience with RP, and on other platforms no one had ever gone into that much detail like you do sometimes. I feel like I won't be able to write enough or write a strong enough response. I see selective and I feel like I might not be up to your standards. I have anxiety about this sort of thing a lot. I just wish I was braver. Sorry to bother you.

Send a ‘✖’ if you are intimidated by me

Bonus: Include what happens to be intimidating about me!

​Real talk. I secured a URL for this blog within reading like Idek. Six issues of Hellblazer. I was basically in love within an issue or two like “wow he’s awful. I love him.” Now mind you, I’d already been RPing for a couple years on tumblr. Honestly though, my first placeholder url ( experimental-user, which I had fully intended to change when I started threading but kept for a brief time because it made sense to me as vaguely fitting ) should have said enough that I was a bit insecure writing him at first. Anyway, I was reading the comic for the first five months I wrote John, the main Vertigo series, graphic novels, specials, miniseries, and for the record I torrented all of it. Also read Justice League Dark, but we don’t talk about that because it was abysmal and John’s characterization was a fucking mess ( but they did Zee worse, so that’s a thing ). I learned John as I went, to be quite honest. While I can’t say if I made any missteps in my characterization in the early months, I know there was a lot of hesitation on my part. 

My point is this: We’re all learning as writers and RPers. The only reason I’m a competent writer is because I’ve been doing so for years. Certainly not all of it has been RP and I feel like it showed in my earliest forays on tumblr. There were communication problems and stubbornness on my end because I wasn’t as good as improvising as I thought I was. It took me a long while to get to the point I’m at and there are still moments I’m like “wtf am I doing? lol”. Now admittedly, am I good for an uncertain newbie? Signs point to who the fuck knows because I can be very serious and not fun at all. I’ll admit to getting very nervous when someone is intimidated by me because I never mean to do that to anyone. Honestly, I rarely think there’s anything that special about my writing. It swings between blunt as a head shot and vaguely pretentious. More the latter than I care to admit. I’m selective because yes I concede to having standards but they’re not like…super high. I just want partners to be coherent and respectful and I like the way they portray their muse. That and I rarely RP with doubles due to my compulsion toward world building and I can’t continuously compartmentalize versions. I’m just not that good, I suppose. Lastly, I’m slow and I work. I know everyone has their own speeds so I want everyone to be copacetic with the fact that I may not always reply to a thread within 48 hours but that doesn’t mean I’m dropping it. ( and of course I have my people that I generate high volumes of threads with and I don’t want people to think I just always stick with my clique, there’s just a lot going on behind the scenes. )

Anyway, this is getting to be rambly and a bit of a downer(?) when I want it to be a pep talk or whatever. I’m gonna leave you with with the fact that you can read ​Hellblazer for free here. The site is ugly, sorry, but it’s less a hassle than seeking out torrents. Side stories and specials you’ll have to search on the site separately. The movie streams from time to time on Netflix or Hulu. It’s not right now, tho. So Idek what to tell you with that. There are a lot of free streaming sites that you can probably find it on, tho, if you know where to look. I personally caved and bought it on iTunes. Their digital copies are generally about the same price as a DVD. That being said I don’t insist people read the comic or watch the movie to RP with me. It just helps. The reason I am so vocal about being based on the comic is due to the popularity of the TV series and the fact that I don’t have anything to do with it. I don’t want people to get it twisted, you know?

[ciathyzareposts]

Game 121: Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist (1993): Introduction

by Alex

Hello there, dear The Adventure Gamer family. I am back after a long absence to review another game, and another Al Lowe game, but this time it’s not an entry in the Leisure Suit Larry series. No, I’m leaving my polyester pal behind and traveling to the old west to play Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist, Mr. Lowe and co.’s 1993 outing in the Sierra adventure game library. There was a CD-ROM version (more on this later), with voices and everything, released in 1994, but I’m playing the DOS version, mainly because I’m not a huge fan of CD-ROM games.

1993 is smack in the middle of the golden age of Sierra adventure games, which I contend lasted until 1996. You might disagree with me, and I’m sure will let me know in the comments below, but that’s what makes life interesting, right? And we all need a little adventure, uncertainty, and chaos in our lives right about now.

Well actually, no. I certainly don’t! Thankfully, I live out in the middle of nowhere, USA, where nothing happens and we like it like that, but life has certainly been adventurous, uncertain, and chaotic enough for me and my family, thank you very much! We’re all fine, and I hope you are too. But with civil society is crumbling all around me, there’s nothing better to do than fire up an old adventure game and blog about it. So here we go.

The last game I blogged about for The Adventure Gamer was Quest for Glory III: Wages of War back in 2018. In the interim, my wife and I had another child, started a business, and I’ve published two novels, with another novel and a non-fiction book set to publish before the year is up. Plus, I got to meet Joe Pranevich in person, which was really cool. But how many adventure games did I play during this time? With the exception of the first two Quest for Glory games with my son, zero. So I’ve been busy. If both my adventure gaming prowess and my writing are rusty, please bear with me as I play myself back into shape.

Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist—and I’m sorry, every time I hear the name Pharkas all I can think of is Scott Farkus, the bully who tormented Ralphie, his brother, and their friends in A Christmas Story.

This guy.

Anyway, Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist is Al Lowe’s homage to comedy westerns a la Mel Brooks’s popular 1974 comedy Blazing Saddles. Would you believe I have never seen Blazing Saddles? I know Gene Wilder’s in it, there’s a gigantic Indian named Mongo that punches his horse, that Cleavon Little’s character gets called the N-word a lot (which means this movie is probably not long for this world), and that the central bit of humor is a gigantic fart joke.

Al Lowe

So, yes, no wonder Al Lowe wanted to make his own version of it. That sort of humor is right up Lowe’s alley. I didn’t intend that to sound dirty, but since we’re talking about an Al Lowe game, all of our minds immediately went to the gutter (don’t lie).

But Lowe wasn’t alone! Oh no, Lowe designed Freddy Pharkas: Frontier Pharmacist (I’m calling it FPFP from now on because the full title is a real mouthful (fingerful?) to keep on typing) with Josh Mandel. If the name sounds familiar, it’s because he worked on many Sierra games either as a producer, designer, writer, voice actor, artist, or some combination of those roles. Which games? How about Space Quest 6, The Dagger of Amon Ra, King’s Quest V and VI, and EcoQuest: The Search for Cetus. Mandel worked for other companies afterwards, such as Take-Two Interactive and Mattell, but he also lent his voice talents to the fan remakes of the first three King’s Quest games, reunited with Al Lowe on 2013’s Leisure Suit Larry: reloaded, and was a writer on Quest for Glory designer (and sometimes TAG commenter) Lori and Corey Cole’s Quest for Glory quasi-reboot Hero-U: Rogue to Redemption. He was also the model for the coroner in Police Quest III: The Kindred, but the less said about that game, the better.

Josh Mandel

I also think he might like fart jokes.

Before firing up the game, let’s take a look at the manual.

Titled The Modern Day Book of Health and Hygiene, 1881 edition, the manual is presented like an old-time medical—some might say “pseudo-medicine” almanac written by one Hyman J. Lipschitz, M.D., the President of Phrenologists for Health, Enervating Elixers, Longevity, and Mental Energy, aka (sigh) PHEELME.

This guidebook also has a pretty humorous disclaimer on page two:

Note to those people who might think a parody of a quack remedy guide that pretends to be from the 19th Century could really contain factual information but are too stupid to read disclaimers such as this anyway: The information contained herein is absolute and utter balderdash, provided by Sierra On-Line, Inc. for your Entertainment ONLY and to provide information and clues for FREDDY PHARKAS, FRONTIER PHARMACIST. Do not take the medications we prescribe. Do not apply the balms and liniments we describe. Do not attempt the procedures we outline. Do not believe that Manual Labor is still the President of Mexico. Nothing within this pamphlet is accurate and truthful, to the best of our ability. We are being entirely facetious. Do not, repeat DO NOT, use this documentation as a real medical guide! It’s a joke! Okay? Get it?

We get it, Al and Josh, we do. Also: the president of Mexico being named Manual Labor is a precursor to the horrible/awesome name puns that pervade this game.

Anyway, this isn’t so much an instruction booklet on how-to-play, but what I’m assuming is a very elaborate form of copy protection. You see, Part 1, the Pharmacopoeia, describes various chemicals that can be used as medicines, and in some cases, how to make them. They are sometimes funny, and clearly some entries are there just for laughs, but I’m getting serious King’s Quest III vibes from this whole thing.

Excerpt from the Pharmacopoeia

Part 2 features “home procedures” for things like acne, broken bones, and constipation (no coronavirus though). There’s also a (sigh) flatulence spectrometer, where the doctor is advised to catch fart gas in a paper bag or something and burn it in a spectroscope to figure out the exact chemical compound of what is causing the patient to have the vapors. Things like lentils, apples ‘n brown sugar-cinnamon, and meaty by-products, along with the cure. This is the level of humor we’re dealing with, people. It’s an Al Lowe game, what should I expect?

Actually, the manual is pretty funny, full of the dry, straight-faced humor we’ve come to expect from Mr. Lowe, and the kind of humor I actually get a kick out of. It reminds me of Mad Magazine, where the humor is stupid and low-brow, but an intelligent kind of stupid and low-brow. You know what I mean, right?

In any event, it’s time to start this game up.

Hello, old friend.

The familiar Sierra fanfare and accompanying logo always give me all sorts of warm and fuzzy feelings, as does the sound and graphical style of the title screen, and I’m particularly excited to delve into Freddy Pharkas (wait, that didn’t come out right . . .) since I’ve never played this game. That’s right! Other than reading about this in Sierra’s InterACTION magazine (Sierra’s version of Nintendo Power) when I was a kid, I have no experience whatsoever with FPFP. I’m playing this blind, and have been looking forward to this for quite some time.

This issue right here—I wish I still had it, but scans of it are available at Al’s site

I decide to check out the game’s prologue, and am treated to a well-written and well-composed Western ballad detailing the life of one former famous gunslinger Freddy Pharkas and how he came to be a one-eared pharmacist in the frontier town of Coarsegold, California, a real town near Sierra’s actual location in Oakhurst, California. Coarsegold was apparently also the setting for Sierra’s 1981 On-Line Adventure #3: Cranston Manor, which TAG reviewer Joe Pranevich is yet to review.

The ballad is quite good and humorous while packing in a lot of backstory (kind of like this post). Al Lowe wrote the music—although future Quest for Glory IV composer Aubrey Hodges is the main composer for this game—and Lowe and Mandel both wrote the lyrics. I’ve reprinted the lyrics below so you understand the game’s premise, interspersed with screenshots from the intro (follow the bouncing ball!)

He was born in old St Louie, By the age of four Dad knew he was the Best little crackshot the West had ever seen. By the time he reached pubescence, He could outshoot all the adolescents West of Durango and north of Abilene.

Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas. Famous gunslingin’ deputy. Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas, Frontier hero-to-be.

Then one day young Freddy Pharkas Stared at eyes as black and dark as night, the Eyes of an outlaw, well-known throughout the West. Oh, the tough kid’s name was Kenny, And he outdrew Freddy Pharkas, when he Shot Freddy’s ear off to prove who was the best.

Now our hero, Freddy Pharkas, With wounded pride and earless carcass, Vowed to the heavens to give up gunnery. He’d be better off, he reckoned, With the lifelong dream that always beckoned: Pestles, not pistols, and pharmacology.

Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas, Highest score on his S.A.T., Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas. Five-year college degree.

After Fred matriculated, Got his Ph.D. and graduated, Moved out to Coarsegold and bought a pharmacy. He’s a real prescription writer, And they don’t know he’s an ex-gunfighter, Locked up his mem’ries, repressed them totally.

But his peaceful new survival Soon was shot to hell upon arrival Of Coarsegold’s schoolmarm, the sweet Penelope. She has captured Fred’s affection, But he’s scared he’ll get a huge …rejection, Can’t bear to tell her just what he used to be.

Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas. Frontier Pharmacist bourgeoisie, Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas. Peerless, earless, and free!

The CD-ROM version is apparently sung by Al Lowe himself, because as he describes on his website, everyone thought he had a “funny voice.” You can read all about it, and listen to the ballad, here.

Act I then begins, making me think this game is going to be chapter-based, and you are taken to Coarsegold’s main street as someone is boarding up a building, where a toothless old coot named Whittlin’ Willy starts to tell you all about ol’ Freddy.

Nope, not sitting on your lap. Not getting anywhere NEAR that lap, thanks.

I gain control of Freddy and check the interface. The standard Sierra point-and-click icons are there (Walk, Look, Action, Speak, Inventory), and I take a moment to click the Action icon on various things, which may-or-may-not have included Freddy’s man-region.

I mean, it’s an Al Lowe game. I kind of had to.

There are no surprises, which works for me as this interface generally works really well. In my inventory I only have the key to Freddy’s pharmacy. I’m looking forward to inventory gags, as Al Lowe’s Leisure Suit Larry V was full of humorous messages—each unique!—when you clicked any item on any other item in your inventory. I hope this attention to detail, and bad jokes, carries over to FPFP.

And of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that there is a (sigh) Golden Balls Saloon.

This humor style, of course, is par for the course and I don’t view it as a negative per se. I groan and cringe at these kinds of jokes, but I actually like them. They’re generally harmless and Al always seemed like a good guy who just like getting a few yuks out of gamers.

Here he is, describing the inspiration for FPFP:

“In 1992, I noticed that there wasn’t a single Western computer game, even though Western movies had been popular off and on for years. But I wanted to make a humorous Western. What sort of Western could be funny? While discussing this with Roberta Williams, I started to say ‘farmer’ but my mouth tried to say ‘rancher’ and out came a tangled mess that kind of sounded like, ‘farmer-cist.’ Hey! A pharmacist? Why not? Thus was born Freddy Pharkas, Frontier Pharmacist!

I think it may well be my funniest game, due in great part to the wit of Josh Mandel. Computer Gaming World called it ‘The Blazing Saddles of computer games’ (see box cover below) which I considered perfect praise since that movie was my inspiration.”

Funniest gmae, huh? I sure hope so! Leisure Suit Larry has its moments, but nothing is really laugh out loud funny. Maybe FPFP will be. We’ll see!

I have high hopes reading this bit of trivia from Josh Mandel:

“Mandel had explained in a commentary the reason why there were so many more jokes in the Floppy Disk version as compared to the CD-ROM version of the game, ‘I had co-designed, directed, produced, and written the floppy version; there were no plans at all, at the time, to produce a CD version. When sales of the floppy version justified a CD version, I was no longer available to produce and direct it, having by then started on SQ6. Al Lowe was then tapped to do the casting and recording of the CD version, but the game already had so much text in it that, when it came time to record the inventory text, Al just stopped—he was, he said, tired of sitting in the sound studio. As I had written the vast majority of the game’s text and dialogue, I pointed out to him that, in the process of cutting roughly 15% of the game’s text from the recording, he’d not only left out many jokes, but many clues and hints as well.’”

And like I said, I’m playing the DOS version, so not only will I not be missing out on “clues and hints,” I’ll be getting all the jokes as well. Oh boy!

Mind you, I have no clue what the plot is, but I’m eager to hop in and see what Coarsegold has to offer. If there are references I don’t get in my posts, please let me know. I’m a medium-sized Western fan. I love the idea and image and aesthetic of cowboys and the American west, I’ve seen several John Wayne and Clint Eastwood movies, and I have some Louis L’Amour paperbacks I need to get around to reading, but I’m no expert or connoisseur of the Western genre. Then again, I’m no expert or connoisseur of the adventure game genre and that doesn’t stop me from writing about, so maybe I have nothing to worry about.

Anyway, time to saddle up and play. See you next time, pardner! Yee haw, yippie-ki-yi-yay, and all that jazz.

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/game-121-freddy-pharkas-frontier-pharmacist-1993-introduction/

[foursprout-blog]

40 Keys To Lasting Happiness

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/40-keys-to-lasting-happiness/

40 Keys To Lasting Happiness

Hưng Nguyễn Follow

Look. I’m like you. I abhor lists like this. They’re all the fucking same. A minion sits down at a keyboard after having just had a birthday, or just gotten married, or just secured their first round of seed funding, or — even worse — just after they’ve read a self-help book, distills their “expertise” into clickbait, and preaches to you that if you just do somewhere between 3 and 100 tasks all the time that you will unlock a blissful utopia within the inner recess of your soul, find everlasting love, live in a perpetual state of abundance, and radiate a cosmic energy that people will find irresistible.

That shit’s not workable. There’s not 36 hours in a day. You’re not a superhero. Stop setting your expectations that high. Instead, let’s take a deep breath and work on incremental change — which everyone knows is the key to success in everything anyway.

In that spirit, I’ve scoured the Internet for you — or, at least, every reputable website I could find (all due respect to Mind Body Green) and cross-checked every happiness/success master list, and documented every happiness hack on which a plurality of these content factories could agree. I’ve presented this list below in no discernible order, since there’s no real wrong order to make progress, with the intention that this list feels a little less hollow than the vapid, patronizing Self-Help Industrial Complex would.

I do promise you this: If you do these things a little more often than you currently do, no, you will not suddenly spend your life sipping Prosecco on a Yacht at sunrise while kissing the love of your life under the sun just off the Amalfi Coast. As a matter of fact, if that’s important to you, the whole trip — flight / AirBnB / Yacht / Prosecco — will run you approximately $1,836 to do one time, so if that falls somewhere in the zip code of your definition of #lifegoals, there’s the bar you need to clear.

I’ll make you one more promise before I present the list: If you do any or all of these things a little more often than you currently do, yes, you will find your life to be less stressful, more meaningful, happier, wealthier and healthier. How much? Depends how often you do them. Maybe 5%. Maybe 500%. But definitely a number greater than 0%, barring circumstances outside your control. I’ve also, where applicable, identified a “dosage” for you, a metric existing in a squishy space somewhere between maximum benefit and minimum effort.

***

1. Call your immediate family, as often as once a week.

2. Schedule time to hang out with your 5–15 best friends, one evening per week and/or one afternoon per weekend.

3. Say “thank you” literally every time you feel like you should, as genuinely and graciously as possible.

4. Help people achieve their goals, small or large, so long as you’re not the type of person who feels easily slighted or used.

5. Every six months or so, identify what you’d like to do in the next six months or so. You could probably get away with doing this yearly. Five-year plans are too long and too Soviet.

6. Eat food that you love to eat. Both hunger and life are finite. Make the most of them.

7. That said: Eat more fruits and vegetables. Potentially as much as 80% of your food by volume. Just, you know … when you get around to it.

8. Always have a project. It doesn’t matter if it’s building a bar cart, or cross-stitching a vulgar pillow, or writing Dallas Cowboys slash fiction, or pickling your own artisan kimchi. Projects bring you satisfaction. Satisfaction brings you confidence. One project at a time is fine.

9. Do things you enjoy doing. Love pinball? Cool. I won’t judge you. Get you a roll of quarters and go full-tilt on a drizzling afternoon. This is the non-goal-directed version of №8. Do something small yet amusing daily. (Not a euphemism.)

10. Schedule something to look forward to. Doesn’t have to be the Amalfi Coast. Call your friend and ask them if they’d like to go to the local Bills Backers bar to watch them get mashed out by the Patriots by 40. Do something like this weekly.

11. Drink coffee or tea. There’s a reason caffeine is the world’s most-consumed substance in the world. Because it works.

12. However much sex you’re having … you could probably stand to have more sex.

13. Exercise. Somewhere between 3–6 hours per week, broken up into 30–60 minute blocks almost daily. Split fairly evenly between strength, sport and cardio. Sure, sex counts, too. And it doesn’t have to be SoulCycle. RegularCycle is fine.

14. Do a small favor for someone. Preferably daily. And don’t tell people about it, unless you want people to think you’re a douchebag.

15. Document your progress in a journal or a spreadsheet or on a pretentious Medium page. Nothing can be improved without first being measured.

16. Keep in regular touch with approximately 150 people. Why 150? Seems to be the number that’s floating around. What’s regular? Probably more often than you currently are with your 3,500 Facebook friends.

17. Wake up earlier. 6 a.m. seems to be the popular target, but anything’s better than 15 minutes before work, you hot mess express.

18. Worship or meditate or practice yoga. Or all three. And if you don’t believe in god, don’t worry, there’s no good reason to start.

19. At night before you go to bed, write down one thing you’d like to do the next day. This is weird, but it’s popular. Like Goat Yoga.

20. Create a “Jar of Awesome” and fill it. This is batshit crazy. But I think it’s closely related to the overly Pinterest-y and homework assignment-y “gratitude journal,” and sounds way more badass.

21. Try new things. Do something slightly different every day, or something moderately different on a regular basis. It emboldens you and makes you interesting. Eat out for Ethiopian. Buy a sex swing. Skydive. Maybe all three.

22. Go outside. Daily, if possible. Apparently, sunlight, exercise, and digital detoxification are all good for you, and this is the lazy way to knock out all three. Speaking of:

23. Go analog. Whenever possible, write in a real journal, read a real book, talk instead of text, and schedule your screen time strategically. It facilitates deeper focus which fosters better flow state. (Though, so can Tetris. See also: №8, №9)

24. Take an annual vacation. Somewhere new, if possible. Somewhere they don’t speak your language, if you can afford it. And use all your vacation days, if you get them.

25. Take a class. Learn a language. Learn to ballroom dance. Learn Tai-Chi. Learn to code. What you learn doesn’t matter as long as you’re learning.

26. Learn something new every day. This is the close cousin of №8, №21, and №25. Again, it doesn’t much matter what.

27. Be kind to others. Given the opportunity. If you’re into making friends.

28. Forgive people. Given the opportunity. If you’re into keeping friends.

29. To the extent that you can, make your role models your close friends. I hack this by making my Facebook “Close Friends” list the people I admire the most. You’ll find yourself subconsciously adapting their (desirable) behaviors. And you’ll forget all about your high school BFF who’s posting political memes with typos.

30. To the extent that you can, do what you love, and find a way to monetize it. Five years ago, I was homeless. I decided if I was going to be broke, I’d be broke as a writer and musician. I started doing both for free. Then I started charging for it. Today, I am still a writer and musician. And I am no longer broke. Even though I work 60+ hours per week, I feel like I still haven’t worked since 2011. (I get that this is a super personal, super specific anecdote and lacks the typical snark of the previous 29 entries.)

31. Celebrate other people’s successes. Throw surprise parties. Never miss a chance to say happy birthday or congratulations.

32. Ask people specific questions about themselves. This is sort of a hybrid of selflessness, empathy, compassion, education, edification and relationship building. This is the slam-dunk, actionable way to do all of that quickly and efficiently.

33. Sleep eight hours. Your mileage may vary.

34. Try not to drink. There’s a million mental, social, physical, emotional and legal benefits to temperance or sobriety, but I’ll label the top-line benefit: Unless you’re drinking *while* doing one of the other things on this list, you’re wasting your time.

35. Try not to smoke. (*Glares at self in mirror.*) You’ll have more oxygen and more energy to do everything else on this list, plus, you know … cancer.

36. Spend time alone doing something other than watching Netflix or mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. (Just not *too* much time alone, you sociopath.)

37. Shower daily. You know why.

38. Tidy up daily. Clean weekly. Purge monthly. Donate seasonally. Clutter is the NOS button on the superhighway to crazy-town.

39. Read something interesting regularly. Again, preferably analog. Graphic novels? Go nuts. Astral projection guides? Be my guest. As long as it can hold your attention.

40. Cook your own meals. As often as reasonably possible. Depending on context, this could potentially fall under №2, №6, №7, №8, №9, №14, №21, №25, №26, №27, №30, or №36, and could probably lead to №12 if you play your cards right.

In short, perhaps this world would be a significantly better place if we all just learned our way around the kitchen.

[foursprouthappiness-blog]

40 Keys To Lasting Happiness

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/40-keys-to-lasting-happiness/

40 Keys To Lasting Happiness

Hưng Nguyễn Follow

Look. I’m like you. I abhor lists like this. They’re all the fucking same. A minion sits down at a keyboard after having just had a birthday, or just gotten married, or just secured their first round of seed funding, or — even worse — just after they’ve read a self-help book, distills their “expertise” into clickbait, and preaches to you that if you just do somewhere between 3 and 100 tasks all the time that you will unlock a blissful utopia within the inner recess of your soul, find everlasting love, live in a perpetual state of abundance, and radiate a cosmic energy that people will find irresistible.

That shit’s not workable. There’s not 36 hours in a day. You’re not a superhero. Stop setting your expectations that high. Instead, let’s take a deep breath and work on incremental change — which everyone knows is the key to success in everything anyway.

In that spirit, I’ve scoured the Internet for you — or, at least, every reputable website I could find (all due respect to Mind Body Green) and cross-checked every happiness/success master list, and documented every happiness hack on which a plurality of these content factories could agree. I’ve presented this list below in no discernible order, since there’s no real wrong order to make progress, with the intention that this list feels a little less hollow than the vapid, patronizing Self-Help Industrial Complex would.

I do promise you this: If you do these things a little more often than you currently do, no, you will not suddenly spend your life sipping Prosecco on a Yacht at sunrise while kissing the love of your life under the sun just off the Amalfi Coast. As a matter of fact, if that’s important to you, the whole trip — flight / AirBnB / Yacht / Prosecco — will run you approximately $1,836 to do one time, so if that falls somewhere in the zip code of your definition of #lifegoals, there’s the bar you need to clear.

I’ll make you one more promise before I present the list: If you do any or all of these things a little more often than you currently do, yes, you will find your life to be less stressful, more meaningful, happier, wealthier and healthier. How much? Depends how often you do them. Maybe 5%. Maybe 500%. But definitely a number greater than 0%, barring circumstances outside your control. I’ve also, where applicable, identified a “dosage” for you, a metric existing in a squishy space somewhere between maximum benefit and minimum effort.

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1. Call your immediate family, as often as once a week.

2. Schedule time to hang out with your 5–15 best friends, one evening per week and/or one afternoon per weekend.

3. Say “thank you” literally every time you feel like you should, as genuinely and graciously as possible.

4. Help people achieve their goals, small or large, so long as you’re not the type of person who feels easily slighted or used.

5. Every six months or so, identify what you’d like to do in the next six months or so. You could probably get away with doing this yearly. Five-year plans are too long and too Soviet.

6. Eat food that you love to eat. Both hunger and life are finite. Make the most of them.

7. That said: Eat more fruits and vegetables. Potentially as much as 80% of your food by volume. Just, you know … when you get around to it.

8. Always have a project. It doesn’t matter if it’s building a bar cart, or cross-stitching a vulgar pillow, or writing Dallas Cowboys slash fiction, or pickling your own artisan kimchi. Projects bring you satisfaction. Satisfaction brings you confidence. One project at a time is fine.

9. Do things you enjoy doing. Love pinball? Cool. I won’t judge you. Get you a roll of quarters and go full-tilt on a drizzling afternoon. This is the non-goal-directed version of №8. Do something small yet amusing daily. (Not a euphemism.)

10. Schedule something to look forward to. Doesn’t have to be the Amalfi Coast. Call your friend and ask them if they’d like to go to the local Bills Backers bar to watch them get mashed out by the Patriots by 40. Do something like this weekly.

11. Drink coffee or tea. There’s a reason caffeine is the world’s most-consumed substance in the world. Because it works.

12. However much sex you’re having … you could probably stand to have more sex.

13. Exercise. Somewhere between 3–6 hours per week, broken up into 30–60 minute blocks almost daily. Split fairly evenly between strength, sport and cardio. Sure, sex counts, too. And it doesn’t have to be SoulCycle. RegularCycle is fine.

14. Do a small favor for someone. Preferably daily. And don’t tell people about it, unless you want people to think you’re a douchebag.

15. Document your progress in a journal or a spreadsheet or on a pretentious Medium page. Nothing can be improved without first being measured.

16. Keep in regular touch with approximately 150 people. Why 150? Seems to be the number that’s floating around. What’s regular? Probably more often than you currently are with your 3,500 Facebook friends.

17. Wake up earlier. 6 a.m. seems to be the popular target, but anything’s better than 15 minutes before work, you hot mess express.

18. Worship or meditate or practice yoga. Or all three. And if you don’t believe in god, don’t worry, there’s no good reason to start.

19. At night before you go to bed, write down one thing you’d like to do the next day. This is weird, but it’s popular. Like Goat Yoga.

20. Create a “Jar of Awesome” and fill it. This is batshit crazy. But I think it’s closely related to the overly Pinterest-y and homework assignment-y “gratitude journal,” and sounds way more badass.

21. Try new things. Do something slightly different every day, or something moderately different on a regular basis. It emboldens you and makes you interesting. Eat out for Ethiopian. Buy a sex swing. Skydive. Maybe all three.

22. Go outside. Daily, if possible. Apparently, sunlight, exercise, and digital detoxification are all good for you, and this is the lazy way to knock out all three. Speaking of:

23. Go analog. Whenever possible, write in a real journal, read a real book, talk instead of text, and schedule your screen time strategically. It facilitates deeper focus which fosters better flow state. (Though, so can Tetris. See also: №8, №9)

24. Take an annual vacation. Somewhere new, if possible. Somewhere they don’t speak your language, if you can afford it. And use all your vacation days, if you get them.

25. Take a class. Learn a language. Learn to ballroom dance. Learn Tai-Chi. Learn to code. What you learn doesn’t matter as long as you’re learning.

26. Learn something new every day. This is the close cousin of №8, №21, and №25. Again, it doesn’t much matter what.

27. Be kind to others. Given the opportunity. If you’re into making friends.

28. Forgive people. Given the opportunity. If you’re into keeping friends.

29. To the extent that you can, make your role models your close friends. I hack this by making my Facebook “Close Friends” list the people I admire the most. You’ll find yourself subconsciously adapting their (desirable) behaviors. And you’ll forget all about your high school BFF who’s posting political memes with typos.

30. To the extent that you can, do what you love, and find a way to monetize it. Five years ago, I was homeless. I decided if I was going to be broke, I’d be broke as a writer and musician. I started doing both for free. Then I started charging for it. Today, I am still a writer and musician. And I am no longer broke. Even though I work 60+ hours per week, I feel like I still haven’t worked since 2011. (I get that this is a super personal, super specific anecdote and lacks the typical snark of the previous 29 entries.)

31. Celebrate other people’s successes. Throw surprise parties. Never miss a chance to say happy birthday or congratulations.

32. Ask people specific questions about themselves. This is sort of a hybrid of selflessness, empathy, compassion, education, edification and relationship building. This is the slam-dunk, actionable way to do all of that quickly and efficiently.

33. Sleep eight hours. Your mileage may vary.

34. Try not to drink. There’s a million mental, social, physical, emotional and legal benefits to temperance or sobriety, but I’ll label the top-line benefit: Unless you’re drinking *while* doing one of the other things on this list, you’re wasting your time.

35. Try not to smoke. (*Glares at self in mirror.*) You’ll have more oxygen and more energy to do everything else on this list, plus, you know … cancer.

36. Spend time alone doing something other than watching Netflix or mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. (Just not *too* much time alone, you sociopath.)

37. Shower daily. You know why.

38. Tidy up daily. Clean weekly. Purge monthly. Donate seasonally. Clutter is the NOS button on the superhighway to crazy-town.

39. Read something interesting regularly. Again, preferably analog. Graphic novels? Go nuts. Astral projection guides? Be my guest. As long as it can hold your attention.

40. Cook your own meals. As often as reasonably possible. Depending on context, this could potentially fall under №2, №6, №7, №8, №9, №14, №21, №25, №26, №27, №30, or №36, and could probably lead to №12 if you play your cards right.

In short, perhaps this world would be a significantly better place if we all just learned our way around the kitchen.