#anyway he's talking about himself here pffft

[dutchovensoup]

[kame-writes]

Media Overlords drabble - Girls night

Velvette turns up at the Hotel

Charlie rushed to open the door, surprised to hear it being knocked so late in the afternoon. There was a giddy, optimistic part of her hoping that it was someone interested in staying at the hotel. And despite the fact that it hadn't happened yet, she still greeted the person on the other side with a Dazzling smile. “Welcome to the Hazb-”

“Zip it Princess, nobody cares.” The impatient cockney voice instantly gave away who it was, and she didn't sound in a good mood.

The Vees generally didn't come out to the hotel, except Vox who was a naussance on a debatably regular occasions. Valentino was out right banned on pain of something about Alastors shadow, which had been a huge relief to Angel Dust. So Velvette standing with her hand on her hip in the doorway was a very odd sight indeed.

“I'm just here to pick up my number one bitch for the day.” She explained, pushing her way through the door and into the lobby. 

“Uh Angel Dust?” Charlie guessed, not sure who Velvette meant. Angel was a good guess, since he was always in fashionable clothes for his shows, which she assumed came from the social media overlord.

“Pffft as if. He wishes he was number one.” With a scoff Velvette brought a hand to her lips and let out an ear piercing whistle, before screaming. “Girls night!”

Immediately, there was the sound of quick, tip tapping sounds as someone ran down the stairs. A red and white blur rushed past Charlie and launched itself into Velvette’s arms.

“Niff, how you been girl?” Velvette grinned, pulling her into a spinning hug, before settling the much smaller sinner on her hip, able to hold her almost like a child since she was so much smaller. “Towers been boring as fuck without you running around causing chaos.”

“I'm in a war with the cockroaches!” Niffty  beamed, excited as always to talk about her unusual little hobbies. “You should see my collection, hehe, I put on puppet shows with them!”

“Good for you. Now then, the boys have pissed me off today, so we're going all out. I'm talking spa day, retail therapy, the works. If we don't max out at least one of Vox's cards, we ain't doing enough.” 

“Ya know. Al gave her a job here. He ain't gonna like you taking her away like this.” Husk pointed out from the bar.

“Stay outta this pussy cat. If that Deer bastard’s got an issue he can come back to the tower and hash it out with me personally. Hear for himself just what I think of him demoting my girl to a fucking janitor.”

“I like to clean!” Niffty grinned, not seeming to see the same Issue Velvette was.

“So. You're taking Niffty shopping? Is she going to be gone long?” Charlie asked, clearly a bit apprehensive about letting their weird little maid leave by herself with an Overlord.

“I don't think it gives us a good image, if our staff is seen out and about with the Vees.” Vaggie pointed out, making herself known from further back in the foyer, glaring at the young overlord suspiciously.

“Oh please. What kind of Hotel only has, like, two guests anyway. One or two posts on my Sinstagram and your crummy little hotel could be crawling with patrons.” Velvette almost giggled, turning around to hold up her phone for a selfie.

“Aheh. I wouldn't do that if I was you, little lady.” A familiar staticky radio voice spoke out, a second before its owner materialized from the shadows, leaning forward on his cane with slightly narrowed eyes aimed at Velvette’s phone camera. “Unless of course, you wish for the first shop you visit to be buying a replacement.”

“If you break one more of my phones I swear to-”

“Let's, uh, not get into a fight shall we?” Charlie cut in, anticipating this to only get worse if it was allowed to continue.

“This hotel is not in affiliation with the Vees. As I have made very clear on multiple occasions.” Alastor's voice was a casual firmness, being polite instead of argumentative. “It is a place for sinners who honestly want to give redemption a shot. Not some tacky, tourist photo opportunity for your social media scrutiny.”

Alastor straightened up from his forward lean, walking over to put himself between both Charlie and Velvette, slightly to the side so he could address them both equally. “However. If Charlie wishes to allow you some form of promotional material. Perhaps you may ask her to join you on your outing today? Ask some questions, take some photos together. Be seen supporting our darling princess in a few of your posts.”

“I'm not letting Charlie go anywhere with an Overlord. It's bad enough that you're here. And even then I'm only about sixty percent sure you're not a threat to us.”

“Sixty? My, I've gone up in your estimations.” Alastor laughed, backed up by a condescending laugh track. “But very well, I suppose it would be remiss to leave you behind.”

“Hold up. This ain't some kind of playdate.” Velvette snapped, putting Niffty back down on the floor to instead stand with both hands on his hips, hip checked to the side with very obvious attitude. “I'm here for Girls night with-”

“And the last time I checked, both Charlie and her paramour were of the female persuasion.” Alastor said, more firmly this time. “Girls night seems like a wonderful bonding experience for all of you!”

Charlie looked back at Vaggie, who was holding her spear to the side, not looking thrilled at the idea, but not outright rejecting it either, and Niffty was bouncing on the spot with a hug grin stretching wide across her face. “I… guess it wouldn't hurt to get to know eachother. I mean, if your a friend of Al's, and wanted to help out.”

“Ooooo! Girls night got bigger.” Niffty gasped, practically vibrating with excitement.

“Urgh.” Velvette groaned, racking a hand down her face in annoyance. But the fond look she gave at seeing how happy the idea made Niffty softened the blow somewhat. “Fine. I suppose being seen with the princess isn't cramping my style too much.” The resignation in her voice was palpable, and the knowing look she shot Alastor only validated his smug expression.

“Wonderful! Anything Charlie buys, you may take out of my personal account.” Alastor said brightly, stepping aside to allow Charlie to pass. “I look forward to hearing all about it this evening.”

Vaggie reluctantly followed the others out of the hotel, moving besides a bewildered but optimistic Charlie, who already looked like she might break into a full round of twenty questions at the drop of a hat.

“And don't you fret princess. I'm sure the boys and I will have things completely under control here until you get back.”

[the12thnightproject]

Chapter 19: Runaway: Talk about their feelings? Pffft. Nope.

All Chapters Archived on Ao3 

Logline - With Mai, Hideyoshi, and Aki missing, Mitsuhide and Katsuko reluctantly team up. Disguised as a merchant and his concubine, can they outsmart the man known as the God of Deceit?

What just happened?

Meek Kaya act: head down, hand palming the dagger I kept strapped to my upper arm, mock-obedient… confused as hell.

No one followed us out. Mitsuhide tossed me up on his horse and swung up after, so quickly that we were gone into the rainy night - possibly while everyone was still bemused by our performance. Shojumaru/Motonari might have realized that we’d been searching the place, but we could count on Yoshimoto to muddy the waters a bit, and keep de Sousa's focus on the Chinese ceramics.  

The pouring rain that made it impossible to debrief also made for a wet and uncomfortable journey back to the townhouse. This time of year, Sakai was cold at night, and I finally understood the term 'huddled for warmth.' As we plodded through the cold wet night, I continued to shiver. When Mitsuhide pressed himself closer in response, I could feel those lean muscles through both of our wet clothes.

We’re …snuggling?

We’re not snuggling!

This was just an act of physical self-preservation.

Emotional self-preservation advised me to keep away from Mitsuhide and the dangerous temptation he was proving to be. He kissed me… twice. Maybe that first kiss had been a clinically detached kiss of an actor, but the second one…That second kiss… There was a part of me that was convinced it been the kiss of a man.

Of Mitsuhide.

My logic reminded the rest of me that it had only been a way for an experienced director to get his leading lady to perform the scene perfectly in front of the audience. The only way for that to have been real would be if he were to repeat it in private.

Not happening.

Besides, did it matter? Sure, I could try to decode his motivations from now until the end of time, but my feelings were more important anyway. Those are what I needed to decode.

Ok. So he’s attractive.

I had known this since we met. That didn’t mean I was attracted to him. Liar!  Fine. Well, if I was, it didn’t mean anything more than highly active pheromones, or whatever it was that brought two people together. Acting upon the (alleged) attraction would only complicate matters. Truly knowing what went on inside his head was next to impossible, but I didn’t think he had any ideas or plans in my direction. Nothing beyond simply teasing me because it amused him to do so.

Yes. That had to be it. So there was no need to talk about what just happened.

Ever.

When we reached the house, Mitsuhide sent me inside first to dry off and change clothes. Unfortunately, wet clothes meant an Obi knot that was swollen shut, and without Sho's assistance, I remained helplessly stuck in three layers of soaking kimono.

I got out my knife and tried to pry the knot free without any success.  I was considering simply slicing it open when Mitsuhide, looking dry and comfortable in a loose Kimono walked in. (Without knocking… As usual). He lounged against the door frame, having perfected the art of “the standing casual” pose. "Dear me, it cannot be that tragic. I realize that it must be a shock to discover you’re attracted to me, but it's not worth ending your life."

"You see me tangled up in this dratted fabric, and your mind goes there? That's not even an effective tease." Again, I tried to wedge the tip of the dagger through the knot.

"Come here brat, and let’s see if we can rescue your wardrobe, and my reputation." Without waiting for me to move, he strolled over and began working to free me.

"Your reputation?" He looked so comfortable and, well, warm in those clothing that I felt almost relaxed in his company. "Did you have a prior career as an escape artist that I am unaware of?"

Those gold eyes met mine and a tiny muscle in his jaw twitched. No, he was not comfortable at all. "Your maid might be concerned if your clothes are shredded."

“Isn’t that the point of the Kyubei masquerade - to have that sort of reputation?" I bit the inside of my cheek to school my expression as he slipped his hand between obi and my stomach. It almost felt like a caress.

"Kyubei breaks the spirit and dominates via words. He wouldn't need to resort to physical violence." He carefully untangled the cord, all focus apparently on my clothes.

"And this is different from Mitsuhide, how?" I'd certainly been on the wrong side of his words often enough.

"The man I am pretending to be seeks to dominate through fear and harsh words. If I were here as myself, I would have no need to break Kaya’s spirit that way. It's far more amusing to tease." He tapped his finger on my forehead, and slowly drew it down my face as if he were drawing a line. "There is a certain reward to knowing you have coaxed open a bud.  Breaking it off by the stem is a horrible waste." His finger lingered on my lips for a moment. He gazed at me, his mouth lifted in that familiar teasing smirk, before his finger resumed its journey downward.

I pushed his hand away before it got any lower than my throat. "Either way the flower only lasts a short while longer.”

"Perhaps I should borrow a page from your suitor Yoshimoto and tell you that beauty that is short-lived is no less beautiful while alive, and even more lovely in its memory." He refocused his attention on the knot, which finally unraveled under his touch. At his tug, the obi slipped to the floor.

Quickly I grabbed the edges of my kimono to prevent a striptease. "Yoshimoto is not my suitor. I don’t know what he is doing here, but he's not here for me." Or if he was, it was only because Sasuke had asked him to keep an eye on me. Of course, Yoshimoto was also perfectly capable sticking around just to go shopping.

Mitsuhide just raised his eyebrow at my comment.

Belatedly, I stepped back, out of his reach, and turned toward the cupboard where Katsu's clothing was hidden away from Sho's eyes.

His expression changed to one of suspicion when he saw the hakama and kimono. "You aren't going to go prowling the city for more information." It was stated calmly, but it was as much an order to stay put as anything.

"No. I'm freezing and these are the warmest things I own." I carried the clothes behind the screen to change.

"Fair enough." Something sailed over the top of the screen and hit me with a soft plop. Mitsuhide had tossed a drying towel over.

In that moment between switching from Kaya to Katsu, I felt vulnerable, as if the transition period between the concubine and the courier left me to face Mitsuhide without any protective armor. With a shudder, which owed nothing to the cold, I hurried to remove the rest of the wet clothes, dried off, and climbed into the thick fabric of my other life. Katsu's clothes were designed for the mountains of central Japan, but more than that this identity had been like a shield, and I very much needed to shield myself. By the time I emerged, warm, and covered from neck to toe, I felt much more prepared to deal with the man who had kissed me senseless earlier tonight.

Mitsuhide lounged on my futon, hands crossed behind his head. “One of these days, you will realize that such unrevealing clothing is something of a dare.”

Maybe… I'm not the only one needing armor?

"Silver."

He sat up. '”Rather a non-sequitur."

"Senhor de Sousa had no problem working with Nobunaga, in fact he was considering going directly to him with an offer to set up trade more exclusively with Azuchi. Then Shojumaru offered to broker an exchange. Silver for weapons to be transferred to Motonari Mouri." I paused, realizing that I had spoken without taking a breath.

"So it was greed for profit that motivated de Sousa." Mitsuhide rubbed his chin. "That explains the initial loss of the shipment, but it’s difficult to believe that de Sousa would have betrayed Mai and Hideyoshi when they visited him to inquire after the missing weapons.”

Yeah… I agreed with that assessment. de Sousa seemed more interested in profit than politics. And Portugal was more interested in trade than conquest (in this part of the world, anyway). "No, he doesn’t seem to be that sort of risk taker. Motonari’s name wasn’t unexpected but…” I tried to sort out my tension regarding the information about Iekane in order to present it to Mitsuhide calmly. He didn’t need to know that I was newly upset.

“I suggest you breathe a few times before continuing. I will demonstrate, as it appears you have forgotten how.” He placed his hand on his chest and breathed deeply three times.   

As much as I wanted to snark back at him, it was a good suggestion, so I paused to recenter and breathe. “The man supplying the silver is the same person who locked me inside that crate five years ago. So that might connect Mai and Hideyoshi’s disappearance to Aki’s, but I'm not sure how." What I needed was one of those case walls with strings and pushpins, like they used in all those old cop dramas.

Mitsuhide patted the futon. “Dear me, you’ll wear a hole in the mat with that pacing. Sit.”

I’d been pacing? Huh. I plopped down next to him, hoping that discussing this information could push out all the weird vibes from earlier.

"Start with him then. What do you know about this..." Mitsuhide left his sentence hanging.

"Yamaoka Iekane, no, he’s not related. Aki has us all use his name." In de Sousa’s letter, Shojumaru had referred to him as Kanamore Iekane. "He's using Kanamore now as a paternal name."

"Are you certain it's the same person? Iekane is not an uncommon name.'' Of course Mitsuhide had to be thorough, but something in me resented what felt like borderline gaslighting.

Needing something to do with my hands, I picked up one of the locks I’d been practicing on, and got to work on decoding it. "I have no proof, but he was in that warehouse five years ago at the same time as Motonari. So they do have a prior acquaintance."

“When you said Aki has you all use his name that suggests you have another name. It also suggests… he's not your father after all?" It was posed as a question, but Mitsuhide's soft voice held an accusation.

"He is my father, but for a long time he did not reveal that to me. I believed he was just a man who rescued me from an attack and gave me a place to live and a purpose." I concentrated on the lock, but I was really just aimlessly spinning the tumblers. Mitsuhide stayed quiet until I felt compelled to add, "he did not explain any further.”

"You did not ask? Brat, my acquaintance with you has been fairly short, but even I'm aware this is one of the first things you would have asked." He brushed his hand along the side of my jaw. “That mouth of yours is never still.”

That was unfair… especially given that I had ignored him for over half a week. I gave him a look.

“When you are in an argumentative mood, which, you must admit, is fairly often.” He tapped my forehead, which, yes, I am aware was a dare to argue, but I was more interested in continuing the story… getting it over with.

"Um. He told me in that coded letter you stole." He'd already known I broke into his room to look for it. And now he’d be aware that I'd found it, but I had no other answer to his question aside from the truth.

"Mm. I did wonder if you'd located my hiding spot. Why did you leave it in there?" He took the lock away from me so that I would have to look at him.

"So that you could steal it from me again and hide it somewhere else? Or keep it on your person?" Which he had done anyway, as he had taken his puzzle box with him when he went on walkabout to Azuchi. "Is this important now? I thought your focus was Mai and Hideyoshi, and not my own property and history.”

He inclined his head to acknowledge my point. “By all means. Please tell me what you know about Iekane… which, I imagine does indeed have some bearing on your history.”

“I haven't seen Iekane for five years. And at the time… Aki told me he thought Iekane was motivated purely by jealously. But now I wonder if something else is going on.” Something connected to the time travel? But Iekane wasn’t related to that – at least, I didn’t think he was. But what if-. I temporarily shut down that line of thinking. If I told Mitsuhide about the time travel, would he believe me? Or could I talk around it?

"Once again, I'm going to ask you what you aren't telling me." He turned my chin so I was looking right into those eyes, and it was absolutely the wrong time for that prickly feeling to return. Combined with the off-balance sensation that lingered from the kiss, I had a momentary BSOD as a rush of heat swept through me.

Finally my natural instincts kicked in, reminding me that this man was dangerous – dangerous in ways that I hadn’t imagined when we first met. While I trusted Mitsuhide with my life, I couldn’t trust him with myself. Not when this wasn't only my secret - it was Aki's, and Mai's and Francisco’s and Sasuke's. And so I gave him a different truth, a painful one, one that would protect four other people. "I thought I might be in love with him - Iekane. That is how he was able to trick me into the box. He kissed me a few times." I was grateful that it had not gone any further than that, but still vaguely sick to my stomach at the memory. At the fact that I had let things go even as far as they had.

The look on Mitsuhide’s face suggested that he'd been expecting a dessert buffet and received a package of airline peanuts.

"You must have been fairly young. A few kisses at that age is to be expected." He tugged on my hair. "Should you want more recent kisses to erase his from your memory, I am willing to oblige." He was teasing again, that was obvious. “Certainly, I can do far better than the man who tried to kill you.”

Oh yeah. No question there. But Mitsuhide’s kisses have a lethal effect all their own.

"Two wrongs don’t equal a right.” Oh great. I have resorted to quoting my mother. “In any case, my lips have nothing to with this. What should we do about Shojumaru, a.k.a… er, I mean, also known as Motonari?"

Mitsuhide returned to business as easily as that. "Motonari has access to an entire navy. Perhaps he's keeping Mai and Hideyoshi on one of those ships. Or he may already have taken them to one of the smaller islands in the South. I told Nobunaga to prepare a ship and have it meet us here, while I continue to keep watch over Shojumaru."

"Just you? What should I be doing?" As long as I was still metaphorically tied to Mitsuhide, I didn’t want to be doing nothing.

He raised one eyebrow. I raised both back. I really need to learn that single eyebrow thing.

"As I pointed out earlier tonight, you do indeed resemble a startled rabbit when you do that." At that comment, I deployed my best, the absolute top of the line glare… and he mockingly wiggled his nose and ears. Only when I folded my hands in my lap and put on my ‘ok I’m listening patiently expression,’ did he continue. "We will continue to keep an eye on Shojumaru - as I surmise if I don't take you with me, you will go out on your own as Katsu."

"Or, here's an idea. I can go out with you as Katsu. I could be Kyubei's apprentice or page or assistant.” Katsu’s clothes were much easier to run in. 

"Kaya will come with me." He tugged on my hair again. "Your disguise is very good, but anyone who has seen me with Kaya and then sees me with Katsu will be bound to remark upon the resemblance."

Ugh. He had a point. But at least I wouldn’t be left behind. That was something. “As you wish.”

He snickered. "Are you actually agreeing with me? I ought to kiss you more often."

That deserved an eyeroll and I provided it. But I was eager to divert the topic from that kiss. "Here's a thought. If you fully explain your plans and motivations logically, you might find I agree more often than when you issue orders or tease me."

"The latter is more fun. You might find that eventually you'll enjoy my teasing." Rather than touching me, he ran his finger across his lips, drawing attention to them. "As always the offer of renegotiating our contract is open."

"No thank you.'' I faked a yawn, and stretched. "Now, if you don’t mind, it's been a long night and I'd like to sleep."

"If you say so. Make yourself comfortable." He scooted over, giving me room to lie down in my own bed.

"Alone." I hadn't thought it was necessary to clarify that, but as always Mitsuhide had to make each conversation a contest.

He placed his hand over his heart in an exaggerated charade of romantic disappointment, but obligingly got up. Then, he pulled the quilt around me and neatly tucked me in. For one half-horrified, half-thrilled moment, I thought he was going to kiss me goodnight, but instead, he just tapped my forehead. "Goodnight, Brat."

There wasn’t anything else to say, except, "Goodnight."

By the time I heard Sho clattering around in the kitchen the next morning, I had been awake for too long. Nightmares about Iekane's kiss had merged into far less nightmarish but equally disturbing (in retrospect) dreams about Mitsuhide's kiss. Both had been an act, but Mitsuhide's fake kiss had been enticing enough to make me wonder what it would be like if he kissed me and meant it.

But that snip of hair he had saved in his puzzle box made it clear that someone, somewhere had a prior claims on his heart.

Not that I wanted it anyway.

Therefore any kissing (or beyond) that I did with him, would be purely for the fun of it. And while I wasn’t opposed to that idea in principle, but it was a door I was… well I was afraid to open it.

Certain that my restless night was written on my face, I considered hiding in my room until he was gone for the day, but someone was bound to come looking for me. It was less work to just get up. I dressed in one of Kaya's least restrictive kimonos, and loosely attached a ribbon-like sash instead of the thicker, more formal obi. I was getting bored of Kaya's forcibly shortened steps. Worn this way, the kimono might drag on the ground a little, but I could almost take my normal stride.

When I made my way into the kitchen, it was to see that Hiko had joined us again. Mitsuhide was nowhere to be seen - not that he often ate breakfast with me anyway. Not that he eats anything resembling food either.

"Kyubei is downstairs in the office." Sho answered my unasked question. “He said that you should meet him there after you eat." She cast a critical look at the mess I had made of my kimono. "After I fix that."

Huh, yeah, figured she wouldn't let my too casual look slide. I took the bowl of stewed fruit and rice from her and knelt next to Hiko. "Is this your second breakfast again?"

"Third." Hiko spoke with his mouth full while Sho added, "He ate a rice ball on the way."

Wondering if I could casually find out if Shojumaru had a ship anchored nearby I asked, "Are heading down to the docks today?"

Hiko simply nodded this time, without adding any more information as he powered through his third meal of the day. I ate slowly, trying to figure out how to ask for additional details without appearing too suspicious. I finally settled on noting that Shojumaru had been at the 'banquet' last night. "I didn’t realize he had an interest in art. Does he import anything like that? Statues, vases from the west?"

"I haven't seen any." Hiko didn’t seem interested.

I decided to embellish the question, and added, "Kyubei has an interest and his birthday is soon." In all honesty, I had no idea when Mitsuhide's natal day actually was, but Sho perked up. Oh, because… shopping. I might end up regretting asking, if it meant spending a day sifting through trinkets in the market.

"The next time you and I have a free day, we can go to the marketplace and see what we can find.” She thought a moment. “We could go to some artisan’s workshops too.”

I regret asking.

Then she folded her hands and put on a look of fake indifference. “Or... maybe that Yoshimoto will help us?"

Ha! I thought he had made an impression on her. Although maybe not as much of one as I had hoped, for she added, "Maybe if Shojumaru sees me with someone like Yoshimoto, he'll be more interested in me?"

"Don’t be stupid. Leave him alone, Sho." Hiko handed her his empty plate to wash. "Shojumaru has better things to do than hang around with you." Before he could torture his sister any further, his attention skittered off into another direction and he pulled the three juggling bags that I (as Katsu) had given him, out of his kimono. "Kaya, let me show you what I can do!"

He awkwardly tossed the bags in the air, sending them careening in all directions. As he scrambled around the kitchen to catch them, he banged right into Sho, causing her to drop a bowl on the floor.

"Outside!” She made a shooing motion toward the stairs. "He's already destroyed a vase at home."

Oops. It was my fault for starting him on this hobby, so I followed Hiko down the steps and through the public areas of the townhouse, where Mitsuhide's fake business was doing its fake business thing.

"Going somewhere?" Mitsuhide didn’t exactly grab my arm and pull me back, but his voice had the same effect of stopping me in my tracks.

"Only to the entry. Hiko is going to show off his juggling skills, and they're sufficiently random enough for Sho to bar us from the kitchen." I nodded at where Hiko’s next beanbag toss nearly missed knocking a noh mask off the shelf.

"Ah." He bent his head back to the letter he was writing, which I took as tacit permission to keep going. Not that I would have stopped in any case. But... details.

I left him to it and hurried to the entry, where Hiko was already dancing on the edge of the curb, his face set in concentration as he tossed the bags into the wind. I wished I were dressed as Katsu so that I could give him a few pointers to help him control the toss.

A few times the bags went far to the left or behind him, causing him to jump back and forth between the sidewalk and the street. It was still too early in the morning for there to be any casual pedestrians to be bothered by this, although even at this hour, the city was not quiet. At the other end of the street, an oxcart carrying crates of, well, I assumed sake, pulled up in front of a restaurant. A couple fishermen came up from the direction of the harbor, both lugging baskets of their fresh catch.

Following them was a lone man, strolling, the epitome of ‘acting casual.’ As he approached, the figure became recognizable as Shojumaru. He halted across the street, and leaned against a building. The expression on his face was intent… almost angry? Was he watching the house? I supposed he could simply be waiting for Hiko. More likely, if I asked him what he was doing, he would probably use the kid as an excuse.

When he realized I had seen him, those features quickly rearranged into that affable smile.

Right. Smilers. Never trust them.

Further away came a crack that echoed through the street.

Gunshot?

Shojumaru and I both immediately alerted and looked around.

There … a man, just in profile, slipping around the corner of the restaurant.

The profile was enough though – it was Iekane.

Before I could give chase to him, I realized that barreling down the street was the sake merchant's cart, the startled ox gathering speed, as the leather yoke strap dragged on the road behind.

Completely oblivious, Hiko stayed in the street as he leaped after and caught a bag in one hand. “I got it!” His celebration kept him in the path of the runaway cart.

"Hiko!" He didn’t hear me, but I was already running.

Shojumaru was rushing toward the boy too, but I was closer. Even with the impediment of the narrow kimono, I got to Hiko first. I grabbed his arm and flung him at Shojumaru, who caught the kid and set him on his feet, safely out of the way of the frightened ox.

I turned back toward the townhouse, but something tangled under my foot – the trailing fabric of the loose sash.

One moment of useless flailing was followed by the image of the street rushing toward my face.

Shit, this is going to hur-

@bestbryn @lorei-writes @lyds323 @selenacosmic @tele86 @akitsuneswife

[idwtransformers-vibe]

Not going by the dnd rule book here, but here are some more Artificer Perceptor headcanons:

(I'm still working on the drabble ☺️)

But, Perceptor definitely did start off as an artificer/wizard. Filled with curiosity and excitement. He came from a long line of wizards. He was probably even the most gifted with magic when it came to learning it.

He was very well known too! He would discover or create more magic abilities. He'd even put on a little show for the kids.

But when he was left for dead one day during a war, he ALMOST completely dropped the wizard side of him. As he thought that part of himself was too naive. He was a bit vengeful, too. He hated the general who left him for dead, used him for his knowledge and abilities, but abandoned him them moment he was gravelly injured. That's when he picked up on being an artificer/rogue.

And boy, did he go after that general. He had that general internally shaking in his boots. When Perceptor does get his hands on him, he says something along the lines of: "How does it feel? To be scared, alone, in pain. It feels horrifying, does it? Well, that's how the people felt when you failed to protect them. That's how I felt when you left me in my puddle of blood." His voice is so quiet and smoothe when he says that. He doesn't kill the guy, but he does make sure to give him the same injury to the chest and leave him there.

Perceptor is definitely wanted in that area, so he never visits it. His mission was to make that general feel guilty and physical pain. It worked since the guy stepped down as soon as he had the chance. Then Kup found him and asked him to join his group, and he did for quite a few years. Eventually, though, he did want to live comfortably somewhere. He didn't want to keep living the wrecker life as a past part of him still yearned for peace. So, after the wreckers disbanded, he just wandered aimlessly until he found a kingdom he'd like to live in. Which is Rodimus' kingdom!

He was pretty upfront with Rodimus as to why he was wanted in the other kingdom. Rodimus' response was: "Oh, them? Pffft, we hate those guys anyway. I mean, I'm surprised it didn't destroy itself like that one kingdom over in the North-East!" (He's talking about Prowl)

So, he got to live his life fairly comfortably and works for Rodimus as the leading artificer.

Now, after meeting his spouse and getting comfortable with them, it's safe to say that these two are almost inseparable. Perceptor lets the flip through his old notes, and they connect the dots realizing: "Oooooh! He used to be a wizard!!" They thought his name looked familiar, but they didn't want to assume anything.

He would take a little break and perform some magic for them. Seeing their eyes light up with excitement made his heart swell. He never realized how much he missed being a wizard until this moment.

Sometimes, they be cuddled up together, and he'll cast small and harmless spells. He'll even show them how to cast it themselves. His spouse tends to fall asleep, not because it's boring, but because his voice is so soft and gentle. Just him talking is enough to lull them to sleep... He does this in purpose sometimes when they have trouble sleeping.

It's these moments that actually motivate him into becoming a wizard again. He may never be his old self again, but he has someone who loves him for who is now. He goes back and reads ALL of his old notes for refreshers. His spouse sat in his slap, nestled their face into his neck, and slept when he did this. It was clear he wasn't coming to bed.

While this is great and all, his spouse didn't realize how much magic he would use against THEM to make them rest after getting injured. Before this, they just had to outrun him, wasn't easy, but doable. But to add magic? They're done for, they didn't even reach the front door. At least they get some cuddles after he tucks them back into bed.

His spouse pretty much knows Perceptors past. Again, he would be upfront about it, so they know what he is capable of.

What's funny about this whole thing, though, is that his spouse probably met the general once or twice, and they're just gushing about Perceptor. The general is just standing there with a thousandyard stare. Then, they just slam the door in their face, leaving them confused. Bro did NOT want to hear about that man ever again. And no, the spouse does not realize that was the former general who Perceptor folded like a lawn chair.

[bylightofdawn]

You ever get reminded of a band you haven't listened to in a couple of years and then realize holy shit you used to love this group and immediately go on a binge listen of their whole discography. LOL

I got reminded of Hollywood Undead who I shit you not, fifteen years ago I would have never even clicked on one of their videos because they are rap-rock/nu-metal/industrial something band. They've kinda moved more into the nu-metal and rock over their earlier industrial hip-hop start I'd say. Because I used to be that asshole who was all 'Nah I don't listen to rap' and someone just needs to go back in time and smack me upside the head for letting my preconceptions just write off an entire genre of music.

Cause hip-hop can fucking slap. And I definitely dig the whole rap-rock/nu metal scene. It's interesting to see how my musical tastes have evolved over the years.

Anyway so I've been listening to their New Empire albums today at work and they're not bad, I think i definitely prefer Notes From the Underground and Day of the Dead more. That used to be my go-to I am pissed off and just want to rock out albums. But yeah they apparently have put out three albums in the past like...two odd years. LOL I guess they were working hard during COVID.

I'm about to start Hotel Kalifornia but I'm definitely going to go back and re-listen to Notes from the Underground/Day of the Dead tomorrow at work. I don't think it's gonna happen just because I can't split my attention enough to listen to them in one ear and customer's in another like I can with more laid back lo-fi music which just kinda fades until it's background noise. Pffft.

But yeah, I think I've gotten to an age where I'm willing to just give up all preconceived notions on entertainment and just fuck it, I'll give it a try. I still maintain a lot of modern country can be trash but that might be my inner Texan and having that shit shoved down my throat 24/7 for decades talking. However, even then there are some gems to be found and I still love old outlaw country.

EDIT: Hotel Kalifornia is DEFINITELY a lot better than New Empire Vol 1 & 2. Also? World War Me might be my new Locus theme song.

"I'd rather be dead than some page in some book That burns to the fire 'cause the devil I admire And I wanna watch it burn higher and higher Now I'm the only one that I have left to fear And one of us is gonna die, I'll die right here Let the cowardly speak so the cowardly sleep I am not you, no, you are not me It's an eye for an eye, now no one can see No reflection has meaning, the cracks that I leave Even when I sleep, I die in my dreams Put that noose around my neck, I don't want you to breathe."

That kinda sums up his toxic as fuck relationship with Felix and the identity crisis and all the shit he is going through throughout most of the Chorus Trilogy. Him tying to come to terms with Locus the Solider and Samuel Ortez who he has shoved into the back of the closet and tried to kill off for years and how he kinda reconciles the two parts of himself right before he cuts loose some much-needed dead weight aka gave Felix the boot

"I pray that you stay away You speak with the tongue of a snake Baptized in a shallow lake I hate myself when I see your face"

-coughcoughfelixcoughcough- Also just....that entire stanza. Just....all of it is -chef kiss-

Also ironically, Kill Everyone by Hollywood Undead's Nots from the Underground is one of my Felix theme songs.

[rubbarband]

"Don't hurt yourself, goobers- it's just another word for idiots. Villains tend to not have good motivations so they get type cast- but when I was younger, I was training with a pro hero and he was almost killed but I jumped between them and he softened up, so I asked him why he was doing it and he's now one of the best heroes." Des then rubbed his head, that was a long explanation but it was also clear.

"Lady liberty? Pffft I wish! I mean I love my mom and dad and that's not an excuse but no Lady liberty is just a badass older lady. And my idol, because of her I got dreads- I remember asking for them when I was eight. Dad was sad I wouldn't get the same style he had- those were the days~!" He'd laugh to himself pulling out a poster of Lady liberty.

'Now you're gonna be stuck here forever listening to him talk about her.' Kal-li spoke up.

"Shush, I have my idols everyone does, like yours is the toaster." He'd tease.

'Oh ha ha, I can burn your breakfast.' She teased back.

"Anyway she's awesome, she's fast, powerful, confident too! When I got to meet her, I was so starstruck, it was so crazy to be in the same room as her, and she was massive- when I was a kid I only reached up to her stomach, she's the best!" Des would shake his head after the extended conversation. "Oh sorry I didn't mean to ramble I just look up to her and mom they made me wanna be a hero like them."

"Oh Yeah it be nice to take a swim together, I kinda cheat cause my tail helps me swim faster but yeah that be super fun to try out, wait are you like a sword?" Des was so excited by swimming the forged in fire comment almost eluded him, he cocked his head at that statement. She was born in Lava? That must of been weird, you can't see anything in molten fire and rock.

“Goo…bers?” she pronounced slowly, clearly having never heard that word before. “W-Well, no more threats from outer space, at least. On Earth, there’s obviously much more to be done.”

Garnet had never really had the time to think about the geography of places outside of Beach City before—so the idea of being surrounded by an ocean instead of just on one side fascinated her. Nevermind the fact that she had probably been to places like that several times throughout her battles.

“Is Lady Liberty one of your family members? And are all of your family members heroes?” This place was alright quite huge; at least enough for both Desmond, his computer, and his dogs. “If this place isn’t the biggest place she lives in, I’m almost curious to see her other house.”

Following his comment about fitness, she’d smirk at him. “Maybe we could swim together, then. Do a few laps, see who’s faster. And I won’t need either of those things, but I appreciate it nonetheless.”

She adjusted her glasses, and they sparkled. “Heat has no effect on me. Both of my halves were forged in fire—literally.”

[harethere-is-art]

So a few days ago I had posted my “I’m Gonna Win” spamton drawing illustrating my hc for the Transformation Theory. Since then I talked about the pros and cons in the Acid Theory in depth with mutuals and in discord servers. So when it came time to post it on instagram I created a clarification slide to add a detail I’ld typically leave in tags. Only to write an entire essay in the description anyways pffft.

But anyways here you go

So after chapter 2 came out I was enamored by the idea of Spamton going through a slow and progressive transformation at the hands of Gaster/the Knight to emphasize Spamton figuratively AND literally giving himself for "freedom" But when the Acid Theory gained traction I foolishly assumed it was somehow canon and I scrapped my original idea (which is my own fault I don't blame anyone that would be silly pffft). While there was a lot of cool imagery and concepts that came out of it I felt it was too quickly accepted and wide spread which inadvertently discouraged other interpretations. (I've talked to others about this and they had similar experiences) Alongside that another issue is that the Acid Theory characterized characters such as Queen to seem much more vindictive(?) than necessary. Sure she's a bit reckless with lives and what she did to Berdly and the Plugboys is not okay. But saying that she's okay with torturing and burning someone alive? That's a whole other level of cruel. (Which might tie in to fandom’s tendency to villainize female characters more than male characters which is a whole other but relevant can of worms.) The biggest problem being the misconception of Acid Theory being actual canon which leaked it's ways into debates about certain characters. What I personally enjoy about the Transformation Theory is Delatrune is already a more fantasy and metaphor heavy game and the idea of The Knight transforming his victims into more mechanical and easier to control vessels is much more connected to the themes of the game. (A jack-in-a-box having a crank that you have to rotate to make a clown jump out and a puppet which you manipulate to act out different scenarios) This theory as well keeps the concept of Spamton being shorter than the other Addisons pre-puppetification within the theory which helps to solidify the themes his goal of being a "big shot" and "bigger. Anyways this isn't my way of discouraging others from using the Spamton Acid Theory or judging others who DO utilize the Acid Theory. I'm just pointing out the flaws and inviting more diverse interpretations of how Spamton got to look the way he did ^ ^

Also this post by @unikhroma​ essentially debunks this whole theory in one line soooooo- uuuh- Rip lol

[euphoricsunflowers]

Hi! Me again! Is it still a acceptable to send things about ex!mingyu pffft-

Anyway a scenario where ex!mingyu has been such a good boy for you that you offer to give him a reward, anything he wanted. You figured it would be something like a fantasy he wanted to try out, but you would have never expected that in his fucked out state, he'd ask for his reward to be a date with you.

You're a woman of your word so you keep your word and willingly go on a date with him...but you run into a bit of a dilemma—being this close to Mingyu without sex or making him cry made you remember all the reasons why you loved him

i wrote a happy cute little ending for u <33 hope you like it!! mentions of food <3

“do you want me to make your plate or do you wanna make it?” he asks, holding the ceramic plates that you both picked out for his apartment. you said they looked tacky because of the weird designs, but he liked the way you smiled and laughed when he picked them out. they’re his favorite.

“i can make it,” you say, standing up to grab one and start filling it with the delicious food he insisted on making. he finds it’s so satisfying to cook for someone else. most of his dishes make portions for two, and sometimes he still finds himself cooking for two in mind. he usually just gives it to his friends.

you both sit down to each, trying to make conversation that isn’t sexual or tense, just small talk about your days. it’s awkward. extremely.

but you suppose it’s only awkward because you’re making it awkward.

“hey,” he murmurs, “if you don’t want to go through with this, i get it. don’t feel pressured at all,” he says in that same reassuring tone he used all the time when helping you through anything. it’s hard to forget how good he was to you when you weren’t to him. and he’s still so sweet about it, “i’m always gonna love you, no matter what you do.”

it’s almost tear-worthy how kind he is. how forgiving. you think back to all the times he used to hold your hand when you were nervous or take you for late night snack runs when you were sad. he was always perfect.

not that you were bad, but maybe you just didn’t appreciate him enough in the moment.

“i’m sorry,” you mumble under your breath, but loud enough to be audible. you stand up so he stands too, moving closer to console you.

“it’s okay,” he runs his fingers through your hair, pulling you and holding you close, “still always love you.”

“i have to go,” you say. he pauses for a second.

“i know you do,” he smiles as he rests his head against yours, “don’t wanna let you, though. can you stay a little longer? give me another chance?”

a moment passes.

“stay, please,” he pleads, “no one has to know. there’s only us here, no one’s opinions or judgments for you to worry about. what do you really want?”

it hurts to give in, but you do. nothing feels more right, “you.”

he grins in victory, that same cheesy smile that made you fall in love so long ago, “then take me. i’m all yours.”

[ask-teamplayer]

Other than Ronin who already answered this, what’s everyone’s favorite subject?

FATE: You're looking at mostly ELA kids, here. Me, Enzo, Seth, Cora, Vera- I think I can speak for all of those assholes, but yeah. We were always the best in English. Though Cora also really likes history. You can probably tell.

SETH: i mean im not really all that interested in anything!! i like cooking and playing keyboard, i get options for stuff like that in the future but right now its just,,, eh?

SETH: but if it were anything i guess it would be english! i dont get the kids who hate reading books to be honest, i actually like reading classics! gotta broaden my mind :B

ENZO: pretty on the mark yeah but i used to prefer gym for a while cause like physical dude

ENZO: but i dont think my actual swordfighting skills account for anything when im playing volleyball with annoying mean girls who keep giggling instead of playing the game

ENZO: or when i get hit in the face with a rubber ball which has actually happened a LOT

ENZO: to be honest i think im the only kid that hasnt died during the mile except nahla cause former track kid

SETH: I HATE THE MILE.

FATE: Can't imagine how the mile would be with people with boobs. I am so sorry. I'm lucky I didn't evolve.

FATE: It is horrible though. It should be considered actual torture - dammit, I know excessive amounts of cardio isn't actually healthy for kids who don't do it all the time! I don't want to break my muscles.

FATE: I'm not looking forward to gym next semester.

LILY: i loooove biology! math and ela, too, but bio is my favorite

LILY: or general science! i love taking care of plants, i actually have like fourty at home! they all have names!

LILY: like why do you think i evolved into a leafeon? honestly i think growing plants in third grade awoke something in me.

LILY: its really fun, but i do have trouble focusing on stuff sometimes. im kinda daydreamy hehe. i really need to get my grades up :( maybe ill see if i can join one of vera and fates study sessions. working next to other people i actually like and commentating in a funny way helps me do it faster.

FATE: You're always welcome. I wouldn't invite someone like Darin or Nahla, but I know you're actually smart and like working and aren't going to piss me off.

DARIN: i hate school :(((

DARIN: i dont like anything :((

DARIN: maybe i should get into sports thatd get me into college no problem itd be so much fuckin easier than this

CORA: You do have it in you, Darin. I believe there's untapped potential in academics.

CORA: I've seen the way you talk about anime and shows you like. There's an actual brain up there, as much as you work to prove otherwise. I'm very proud.

DARIN: AY WHAT THE FUCK CHIEF

NAHLA: WOOOOW, You're allll nerds, huh?

NAHLA: Yeah, I'm in the camp with the traitor, sorry! I don't really like anything, but gym's cool! I like track and stuff, and I do like hitting annoying girls in the face with balls! Coolkid's just a coward and cant bring himself to hurt anyone. Pffft.

NAHLA: No worry! I'll do all the hitting for you guys. Someone has to!

CORA: Oh, Nahla, baby dear, may you hit Wade first? He's been getting on my nerves in second period lately...

NAHLA: Anything for you, honey sugar sweetie baby crystal dreamy dear! <3

NAHLA: Regardless of our totally real romance I just need an excuse to punch him anyway. Or throw balls at him in general.

ENZO: BALLS you say

RONIN: okay posts over before enzo makes another dick joke and cora and nahla start gay fucking on the table. im a little oversensitive right now, fate screaming is just going to make me kill someone. maybe in like an hour guys, wrap it up.

VERA: I also take a lot of art classes

VERA: I would like to get better at traditional because I would like have to have less reliance on stabilizer use

VERA: And doing things like ceramics is fun

RONIN: see? when i need someone to be normal on a stupidly derailed ask, i ALWAYS know youve got me.

RONIN: thanks, v.

VERA: The sentiment is appreciated but when have I not "got you" in your words

RONIN: never, v. never.

[allthegothihopgirls]

twd 11x17: my take

!! HEAVY SPOILERS FOR TWD 11x17 !!

alright, you've been warned. WELCOME BACK PEOPLE!!! i am so happy to be doing this again, it's been a long wait for 11c but it's finally here. i cannot begin to explain how excited this release has made me, and i'm really excited to just enjoy these final eight episodes.

~

EPISODE COMMENTARY TIME!!

i got a solid 30 seconds into the episode and i was already bawling. it might just be finally getting a new episode, but hearing judith's voice and seeing the flashbacks made it all really reminiscent. this really is the end.

"we're here to take out shithead and the dickless brigade" MAN I LOVE NEGAN god so excited for all his lines.

aaron and gabe's friendship is so refreshing, i love watching them interact with each other, it's such an interesting dynamic.

gabriel talking about how hope is almost lost is just, character development. i love the contrast between his religious spew when he was introduced, and now how he keeps mention his hope being gone and lost.

NEGAN GOT AN F-BOMB!!!

man i love negan back in the whisperer mask he's an icon, plus he looks so badass i can't even. OH MYGOD HES GOT DARYL WITH HIM ICONIC DUO ICONIC

GET SHOT LANCE YOU MF. i love how lance has his tiny little gun hes such a coward.

THEYRE ALL LOOKING SO HOT, YUMIKO, CONNIE, KELLY, ROSITA, MAGNA OHHH SHES IN A SUIT I LOVE YUMIKO.

"that's my job" "yet i was sent here anyways" NEGAN KNOWS HIS PLACE MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN WOOOOO

"aunt carol" sobbing so hard

i love the gracie and judith dynamic. judith acts so grown up and is talking to carol close, but gracies making innocent remarks from the table, nice contrast. sad how grown up jude has to act though.

(love this frame)

"what are you doing here man" "well im here to save your asses" will never have enough of negan istg.

"its time to play the quiet game" "we're just gonna have a little adventure today" shes protecting the kids so hard istg i expected jerry to be playing family man but ill take carol any day

FUCK YEAH JERRY SAVE THOSE KIDS

pffft carol looked so disappointed in negan when he told her he got married

GLENN GLENN GLENN "glenn would've wanted me to look after you" "you don't ever have to say sorry, not to me" crying so hard i love daryl. you can just TELL glenn's death lingers on his mind constantly and that he still blames himself. the man deserves some peace.

sewers in this show give me carl flashbacks this is traumatic. literally borderline crying this was on purpose i swear.

"do you know who i am" fuCK OFF SEBASTIAN ISTG "do you know who I am" FUCKING TELL HIMMMMM

"well this one here, she's a goddamn magician, i have seen her pull little bunnies right out of her ass with my very own two eyes" i don't rlly have anything to say about this one i just love negan's lines.

jaw on the floor that sucker just got ripped in half, worse than that whisperer chicks death i reckon.

pamela did not just disrespect my girl carol like that. bitch tf.

oh oh oh oh it's like that one 3 spidermen meme template

~

overall, solid episode. negan carried imo.

noticed some changes to the intro which i don't have anything to say about but thought they were cool.

that's about it from me ! i'll be back when i watch the next episode

[cherrbunny]

Atom Bomb

Apocalypse Au (Suna x reader)

🤎𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕣𝕖 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥🤎 Please be mindful of the content you consume

⚠︎︎𝕋ℝ𝕀𝔾𝔾𝔼ℝ 𝕎𝔸ℝℕ𝕀ℕ𝔾⚠︎︎: ❤︎mentions of suicide❤︎

𝔸𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣’𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖: I wrote this in 2021 or 2020 pretty sure it was winter 2020, but ANYWAYS this is sad I love it and yeah top tier angst if you ask me. I wrote it based off the song 𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑐𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛． You all think I should make a happy part two?

𝔻𝕖𝕤𝕔𝕣𝕚𝕡𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟: In a post apocalyptic Japan Suna fails to navigate his greif and assumingely ends it all after the love of his life y/n and his family seemingly pass <3

𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕗𝕦𝕣𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕒𝕕𝕦 𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕠𝕪!

𝕊���𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕡𝕤- anything in italics are a flashback

If only things could go back to the way they used to be. Sunny blues skies, chirping birds, and children running in the park. But now the sky has a crimson glow, the sound of chirping replaced by the horroride blood curdling screechs, and little to no signs that humanity existed. Country’s went to war and the U.S nuked Japan, and their stood Suna overlooking it all. Standing at the top of a building ready to throw himself off, wondering how he even got there.

He had lost it all, with only few of his friends surviving. That’s it that’s why he was there, how could he forget something so haunting.

The alarms where going off people were panicking, doomsday was finally here. The loud sounds of bombs falling could be heard all throughout Japan. You sipped the Hennessy in your shot glass, you had invited Suna over but he never picked up the phone. Maybe he was with family, and he was in a sense. Running with his sister in his arms the radiation had reached his city, causing his entire household to become extremely ill. His sister was coughing up blood, her skin getting colder and colder by the second.

Yes he remembers it all so clearly, taking a step closer to the ledge of the roof. His sister was gone. He had to burry her at her favorite park, which was now nothing more than a mass graveyard. Suna couldn’t help but miss the warmth you provided him.

Suna rushed to your house, he needed to get you out of there another bomb was reported to be dropped in your area. And as he reached *insert area* his heart dropped, the radiation was thick here. Low orangey colored clouds hovered above the ground. Suna stepped back, taking off his shirt he poured water all over it before tying it around his nose and mouth.

You sat in your basement listening to music, you knew how today would be your last but you were honestly to drunk to care. To drunk to know if what was coming out your mouth blood or barf, to drunk to tell if the voice calling your name was real or in your head. Looking up you see tear stained Suna who immediately lifted you up.

“No no not you too, please y/n hold on for me please”

You hiccuped as blood ran out your mouth “so here it is… our final night alive”

“Y/n please please please, I’m begging your the only thing I have left”

Night had already arrived though the ruby skies showed no sign of nightfall.

You had kissed him when you died, he hated it. He had failed to save you too. The one thing that kept him going in life, gone. And with that he jumped. They always said your life flashes before your eyes, and for Suna it did.

“Suna Rintarō I… I have a crush on you”

“Hey Suna from now on call me y/n no more last names” -“in that case call me rin”

“Your family is so nice! I’m glade they liked me” -“of course they did it’s you we’re talking about”

“Hey don’t worry if you go overseas for volleyball I’ll still support you it’s your dream”

“Hey rinnie look at this!”

“Can you believe it’s the end of high school already, I’m glad I spent my years with you”

“Let’s move in together, you’ll be traveling a lot and will need a home to come back to ya know”- “Well if my darling want me too why not”

“Riiinnnnn over here!” - “what are you doing here y/n” - “I flew here to cheer you on!” - “pffft of course you did”

“Tell your sister I said hi! And don’t forget sunscreen!”

“Y/n I’m not wearing that” - “please just for cuddles”

All his memories consisted of you the pain on his face faded and was replaced with a smile. Sighing of relief he saw one last memory before he hit the ground.

“Rin don’t cry, It’s you that I’m here with right now and as the world caves in, it’s you who I’ll see on the other side”

♡︎~𝔽𝕚𝕟~♡︎

[alrightberries]

honey, honey (how you thrill me)

request: i loved strawberries and cigarettes but levi just can’t catch a break :(( can we have a super fluffy modern au with boyfriend levi instead? thanks!

request: hi i’m new here and had read your fics. i love your take on levi’s character! Also that your writing is very great to read!😘 (tho that angst really made me cry HARD) if i may request umm... i want a levi x reader fic about them being like an old married couple but they’re not in a relationship ‘yet’ so like everyone ships them. Its a fluffy crack fic/ Reader is like “well you’re clean and I kinda lilke you so...” then levi be like “you’re tolerable and knows how to properly clean.” and then they really ended up married. It’s like the easiest transition from friends to lovers that one day they just said lets get married we act like it anyway whats new 😂. I want fluffs and laughs! Aot is angsty enough we need fluffs with our favorite characters!!

❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

❈ genre: fluff, semi-crack.  ❈ word count: 4.6k

❈ summary: modern au. In which you and Levi are both professors at the same university, and are painfully unaware that all the students and other staff members have a bet that’s been going on for years now. What’s it about? When you’ll both finally confess to each other and just date already.

❈ trigger warnings: profanity. mentions of sex

a/n: made it gender neutral as per usual. this was really fun to write! makes me think about writing fluff more often (pffft sure)

Trost University was home to many brilliant minds. It was a prestigious school with an acceptance rate of 600 out of 4000 yearly applicants, and producing the finest students; those of which would almost always graduate with high honors before starting a successful career of their choosing.

Its professors, undoubtedly, were of the finest quality as well. They were professional, extremely skilled, and highly trained. It was a workforce full of almost over qualified educators excelling in their respective fields, with master and PhD certificates framed on cubicle walls being the norm in the faculty room.

Erwin himself was proud to be a professor here. He started working as a high school teacher when he was still studying for his master’s degree, shifting from high school teachings to college teachings as years passed by, before eventually getting recognized and offered a job seven years ago by the prestigious school.

His friends— a loving and longterm couple who, as far as he knew, were high school sweethearts and still going strong today— had joined him on this journey as well. He’d known them since they were in college, all studying different fields but aiming for the same career of teaching.

The three of them shared a strong bond; a bond built on study groups, mutual dislike for crappy teachers, and a certain love for education. They were there for him, and he was there for them. He especially disliked it, however, when their relationship went through rough patches. He didn’t like picking sides, and listening to the same story being told from two different perspectives almost always made him want to grab Y/N and Levi’s heads and bash them together for how dumb they were acting.

But despite the differences and occasional fights, he wouldn’t hesitate to say that he trusted them with his life.

So Erwin, for the life of him, couldn’t figure out why he was just now finding out that the power couple he knew and loved wasn’t even a couple at all.

“So, wait.” He speaks, trying to be heard over the crowded cafeteria chatter. “You’re telling me... they’re not a longterm couple?”

“They’re not.” Moblit confirms easily. “Apparently, they’re not even dating.”

“Or so they claim.” Hange interjects. “Y/N and Levi have actual matching rings. Literally— I asked Levi about it once and he said Y/N was his fiancé.”

“But not romantically.” Moblit quickly adds on. “I was there too, he said not romantically.”

“Why would Levi propose to someone he’s not romantically interested in, huh?!” She counters back, a little louder than the brown haired man’s volume.

“I don’t know! Citizenship? Money? Sex—“

“They’re in love! You know they’re in love, you’re just denying it because you want to get in Y/N’s pants.” She huffs. “And because you’re about to lose the bet.”

Erwin’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “Bet? What bet?”

“Oh, you don’t know about the bet?” Hange asks. “It’s been going on for, like, five years now. The entire faculty’s in on it.” She begins to chow down on her soup, not offering more of an explanation. Moblit takes this as his cue to expand when he notices Erwin’s blank stare.

“Since you guys joined maybe... seven or so years ago? Everyone just assumed Y/N and Levi were a thing. Because of, y’know, the way they interact with each other. But then five years ago Hange and I asked them when their anniversary was so we could get them some wine, and both of them full on denied even being in a relationship.”

Hange nods, more than a spoonful of soup and a more than generous bite of bread in her mouth. “Yeah, but then I peaked at their faculty files—“

“Peaked at their faculty files?” Erwin murmurs, but he’s ignored.

“—and they have the same home address. They live together!”

“I can confirm that much, at least.” The blonde man answers thoughtfully. “They’ve been sharing a dorm since college but Y/N moved out at some point. They live together in Levi’s apartment now, though.”

“That doesn’t prove anything.” Says Moblit. “They could just be roommates and really good friends.”

“Well I’ll say!” Hange throws her hands in the air. “I caught Y/N sucking Levi’s dick at a party once. Must be one hell of a friendship they have, aye Moblit?”

Her elbow begins nudging the brunette beside her, and Erwin stares with amusement when Moblit starts getting irritated from the eccentric woman’s teasing.

“So what’s the wager?” Erwin asks.

The two professors stop their bickering and share an evil smile. Hange gestures for Erwin to come closer, as if she were about to tell him a secret, and he does just that.

“Whoever wins the bet gets a free meal from Shaw’s Bistro.”

Erwin’s eyes widen. Shaw’s Bistro; the classy high end restaurant with the fancy wine, fancier atmosphere, and the best Japanese Salted Salmon he’s ever had.

It was an expensive restaurant— even for someone with his salary. Erwin knew he could rarely ever eat there unless he wanted to run his bank account dry. And he concludes that this petty bet must be a Pretty Big Fucking Deal.

He squints his eyes. “I’m listening.”

Hange giggles as she continues. “Basically, you have to guess how long it’ll take for Y/N and Levi to finally admit they’re couple. But you can’t choose the same answer as other people in the bet, we can’t afford two winners. Literally.” She gestures to Moblit. “Unless you’re like dumb dumb over there who wagered they’ll never admit it because they’re not a couple—“

“They’re not!”

“—I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

Erwin nods his head, one hand on his chin in thought. He never did explicitly ask whether they were dating or not, he just assumed they were.

He carefully considers his options; be a snoop to his longterm friends and possibly break their trust for joining a foolish bet? Or Japanese Salted Salmon from Shaw’s Bistro?

Hange and Moblit look at him expectantly, smiling when he nods.

“Deal me in.”

The cafeteria was noisy when you walked in.

Students mingled amongst themselves, chatting idly about academics and gossip. Cutlery scraped against each other as people took bites of their meals. Your eyes scanned the crowd, spotting your friends sitting around their usual table and having what seemed to be a heated discussion.

You turned to look at the man beside you. “Did you bring your own lunch today?”

Levi nods as he lifts up a small black bag. “Always do. But I’ll stand next to you in the lunch line so you don’t look like a loner.”

That was Levi Speak for I’ll wait for you.

You smile. “Thanks.”

The brief silence between you is broken when you start talking about your students— how proud you were that Armin was tutoring some of the struggling students in his free time, how terrible Jean was at hiding his crush on Mikasa, how terrible Mikasa was at hiding her crush on Eren (“I don’t even think she’s trying to hide it. At this point, I’m convinced that Eren is either dumb or dense.”)

Levi nods along to your tales, seemingly uninterested and bored. But anyone who knew him well would know he was listening intently as you spoke, every word heard loud and clear and processing in his mind as soon as they left your lips. Occasionally, he would pipe in with his own comments (“Eren’s just dumb.”) but he didn’t engage too much, opting to let you speak and rant on.

Your talkativeness never got on his nerves, contrary to popular belief. He liked listening to your stories, listening to your voice, and seeing the little glint in your eyes when you start talking passionately about your students. He overall just liked being around you. You were cleaner than most people he knew. You were tolerable. Sometimes a pain in the ass, but still tolerable.

But what does get on his nerves, however, is being ‘secretly’ watched by his friends.

Once he’s sure you’re not looking, he turns his head in the direction of their table, murderous glare prominent on his face. Hange, Moblit, and Erwin quickly snap their heads down and pretend to eat, but Levi knew they were definitely staring.

“Oh crap, I forgot my free meal card.” He hears you mumble beside him. He hadn’t even realized you were already standing in front of the counter.

“Figures. You have the memory of a gold fish.” Levi comments off-handedly. 

He hands the cashier his free meal card and grabs your tray for you, and you silently took the coat that Levi had swung over his arm to carry with you instead. You knew he’d hate for it to get dirtied by any accidental soup splashing.

“So, what’s happening on your end of the gossip?” You ask, both making your way to your usual table with friends.

Levi shrugs. “The brats are doing well on their thesis. Their grammar is shit though; makes you wonder how they graduated high school.”

You snicker. “You say that now but tomorrow pull an all-nighter to help them study and revise.”

“You’re not one talk. You scheduled two different consultations between classes and three more after your shift.”

“I can’t help it, okay?! You know I have a soft spot for the kids from the 104th.”

Of course he did. He knew of your affection for that specific group of students— admittedly, he held a twinge of affection for them too.

They were part of the first class you ever taught in your entire teaching career. At the time, you both worked at some crappy school in the 104th district. And to see the kids now, all grown up and studying at a prestigious college, it made your heart swell. And Levi’s heart... well, suffice to say it cracked some of the ice around it.

“That soft spot of yours is making you lose sleep.” He scolds. “I’ll take some of the consultations off your hands. The lil shits deserve a teacher who isn’t half asleep.”

Again, that was Levi Speak for Don’t overwork yourself, let me help.

You jokingly slap his arm. “That’s rude!”

“I know.”

Your conversation is interrupted when you finally arrived at the table, Levi setting down your tray in front of you and you handing him back his coat as you sat down next to each other.

“Hey.” You greet your friends, and Levi silently unpacks his lunch. “What were you guys talking about? It looked pretty intense.”

“Oh, nothing, nothing.” Hange waved off. “Just the usual. Grading papers, grading lab experiments, grading essays. The usual.”

You nod, unconvinced but letting it slide. “I see.”

The table is once again filled with laughter and conversations. Banter was thrown around here and there, mostly between you, Hange, and Moblit as you debated about films and TV shows. Levi and Erwin stuck to light chatter, but it didn’t go unnoticed to the shorter man when Erwin’s eyes squinted as Levi placed his arm around the back of your chair like he always did, or when Hange tried to hide her squeal when he wiped some excess soup from the corner of your lips.

Something was up.

It was about ten minutes into lunch when your phone began to ring, a notification from a reminder app you downloaded. You picked up your phone and sighed as you read your schedule.

“Gotta go. I have a meeting in a few.” You mutter, beginning to clean up your tray and utensils; you were a little disappointed. You didn’t even get to finish your soup.

Levi eyes you and the way you kept glancing back and forth between your soup and the clock. He sighs before he speaks, “I’ll take care of your dishes and buy you lunch later. Just go.”

“No, no, I can— fuck!” You yell when the bowl of soup is accidentally knocked over, spilling over your jacket.

Levi silently offers you his handkerchief to clean yourself up. He starts using napkins to clean the table as well, before taking the coat he brought and giving it to you.

“Use this for now.”

You smile at him once again, taking your coat off and slipping on his as you stood up. “Thanks.”

He doesn’t flinch (or react for that matter) when you kiss his cheek before you left, only letting out a small hum of acknowledgement as you waved goodbye to your friends and made your way to the meeting.

Once you were out of view, Hange’s smile immediately drops in favor of too serious eyes as she starts interrogating Levi.

“Okay, cut the crap, Ackerman. How long have you—“

“Hange, no, we’ve talked about this.” Erwin tries to reason but his pleas fall on deaf ears as she continues.

“How long have you and Y/N been dating?”

Ah. So that’s what it was about.

Levi sighs and continues to chew on his bread. He unenthusiastically stares at the woman yelling at him, swallowing his meal before speaking, “I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again: we’re not.”

“Bullshit!” She yells. “You guys are a disgusting old married couple who have two adopted children—“

“Dogs.” Levi corrects boredly, but just like everyone else at the table, he’s ignored as Hange continues her tirade.

“—have matching sweaters, do small bullshit for each other like paying for meals and lending your coats. And for god’s sake, they literally just kissed your cheek even though you hate human contact.”

She finishes her rant but Levi looks unphased. God, she wanted to punch his dumb and oblivious face so bad.

“Those are normal things normal friends do. I’m not surprised you wouldn’t know, four-eyes.” Says Levi, but Hange is unaffected and already used to his abrasive words.

Levi continues. “We don’t do anything beyond what’s considered friendship.”

Hange squints her eyes in suspicion. “Didn’t Y/N move into your apartment?”

“Yeah. Their landlord was shit.”

“Where I caught you having sex?”

“We’re fuck buddies and you don’t know how to knock.”

“But you introduced them to your mom as your fiancé?”

“I lied so she would stop bugging me about getting married.”

“You literally have a shared bank account and a shared retirement fund!”

“It’s easier to keep track of.”

“Damn it, Levi!”

Armin stares at the study guide in front of him, mind half processing the words and half... not. Quite frankly, he starts to wonder if the papers you’d given him were written in gibberish or some dead language no one spoke anymore.

You see him struggle to understand the sheet of paper in front of him, and sigh.

“Need a little help there, Armin?” You offer but he shakes his head. “I’m okay. I think I can understand this if I read through it more, it’s my friends I’m worried about.”

He glances beside him where the rest of his study group also stared the papers, each face painted with a unique mixture of confusion and dread.

You weren’t surprised, however. The readings for this module were quite complex, and the fact that your brightest students— Armin and Mikasa— were struggling with it made you feel a little bit hopeless for the rest of your class. Truth be told, even though you taught this topic countless of times, you weren’t entirely sure how to simplify it without leaving out too much information.

“Okay, how about this, we could—“ A soft knock interrupts your sentence, and you stare at the students in front of you to remember if you were expecting any more. It seemed like everyone was here, however, so you weren’t sure who was at the door.

“It’s me.” Came Levi’s voice, almost like he heard your inner monolgue.

“Come in!” You called out, focus shifting back to the paper in front of you as you heard the door open and close.

Okay, so I guess I could take this part and summarize it for them? Or would that still be too complicated? No, maybe I can—

“Ah, it’s that topic.” Levi mumurs, snapping you out of your thoughts. His face was directly next to yours as he stared intently at the papers you held. “No wonder you all look like you’re about to crap your pants.”

“Language, Levi. Not in front of the students.” You scold.

“They curse more than I do.”

“Still.”

He ignores your comment as he hands you a brown paper bag, pulling a chair out to sit next to you. He grabs the paper from your hands to look over the study guide you prepared, undoubtedly trying to figure out a way to simplify it as well.

“What’s this?” You ask, opening the paper bag.

“Bought you dinner.” He replies, eyes not leaving the paper in front of him. “I figured you’d forget again.”

As if on cue, your stomach suddenly starts feeling empty. It was impossible that you were hungry, though. You just had lunch. And after lunch you had some meetings to attend to, a couple classes, some last minute consultations, and— okay. Maybe it’d been a couple hours since lunch, but it couldn’t be that bad. A brief glance at the clock confirms that—

“Holy shit, it’s almost 8pm.”

“Language, Y/N. Not in front of the students.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“Gladly.”

The students in front of you let out a loud groan, faces over exaggeratedly contorted in disgust at your and Levi’s conversation.

Levi glimpses up at them and raises his eyebrow in question, while you jokingly roll your eyes.

“Alright, I think we should continue our consultation another time.” You said, beginning to pack up your teaching materials as the students did the same. “It’s getting late and curfew’s at 8pm. I’d better not see any of you outside the dorms.”

You knew you would though. It’s Friday night, there’s a bar across the street, and they’re teenagers. What could possibly go wrong?

You turn to Levi and hand him the keys. “You go ahead to the car, I’ll finish packing up.”

“It’s alright, I’ll wait for you in the hallway.” Levi takes the car keys as he stands up, walking out the door once again and leaving you alone with your students.

As you began to arrange your papers and clear the table, you start to remind them, “Okay, so we can discuss chapters—“

“Are you and Professor Ackerman dating?” Eren asks curiously, earning a shove from Jean and a silent threat to shut up, dumbass.

You chuckle. “No, Eren. We’re not.”

He gives you a doubtful look, one which you only return with a curious face.

“What’s with that look?” You ask, and he shrugs.

“You should date him— ow, what?!” He speaks, getting shoved by both Reiner and Jean this time before Mikasa pulls them off of him. You pause from your task.

“Okay, I’ll humor you. Why should I date him?”

The students share a look, daring each other to respond to your bold question. A few tense moments pass by and you smugly continue packing your papers. Yeah, you figured no one would—

“He’s nicer when he’s with you.” To your surprise, it was Mikasa who answers.

Unsure how to answer but still wanting to remain professional, you nod your head without looking up from your task. “Duly noted. Now go on, I know you have parties to attend to. I won’t hold you here much longer.”

The students laughed as they said their goodbyes; you held the door open for them until everyone was out before you left as well, shutting down the lights and locking the room once more.

A warm hand makes its way to the small of your back, and you smile.

“Hey.” Levi greets.

“Hey.” You repeat. “You read to go?”

“Yeah.”

“Wanna share my dinner when we get back home?”

“...yeah.”

He takes the stack of paper from your arms, his free hand reaching out for your own. You walked down the hallway in relative silence, interlocked hands swinging slightly from every step.

From the opposite corner of the hallway, the students’ prying eyes observe the small interaction; the two professors remained completely unaware that they were being watched.

“Told you they were a thing.” Ymir gloats, and the group snickers as Reiner irritatedly hands her some money.

Something was wrong.

If there was one thing Erwin knew from the nearly two decade long friendship he shared with you and Levi, it was when something was wrong.

It didn’t go unnoticed to him when Levi didn’t open your side of the car door as he usually would when you arrived at the parking lot; when he made a beeline for his cubicle in the faculty instead of helping you get settled first; when you didn’t make a fresh pot of tea for him before classes started; when your small sweet gestures throughout the day were kept to a minimal; and most importantly, when neither you nor Levi wore your matching gold rings.

The faculty was nearly empty, save for himself, Hange, Moblit, and the two people who were having a lover’s quarrel. The entire day went by without seeing you two walk side by side like you usually would, and Erwin was pretty sure Levi’s permanent frown somehow got deeper.

Yeah. Something was horribly wrong.

“Pssst.” Erwin hears from the desk next to his. He turns around and is met with Hange and Moblit’s curious gazes.

“The hell happened to those two? Trouble in paradise?” Hange asks, eyeing Y/N and Levi’s grouchy faces and refusal to acknowledge each others’ existence as they each packed their things. She adds on, “Are they getting divorced?” Only to be reminded by Moblit that “They’re not dating.”

Erwin shrugs, answering Hange’s question. “No idea.”

Moblit chimes in, “I heard Petra tried asking Levi out yesterday and now Y/N is jealous.” 

She scoffs. “Y/N isn’t the jealous type. Besides, Petra’s part of the bet so that means she thinks they’re going to get together.”

“I’m part of the bet and I don’t think they’re going to get together.” Moblit points out. “And Petra stares at Levi the way Levi stares at Y/N.”

“Full of disdain and irritation?” Hange asks.

“No,” Erwin finally interjects. “Full of love and admiration.”

“Can the three of you creeps keep your mouths shut?” Hange, Erwin, and Moblit’s heads snapped to the direction of the voice, eyes meeting a pissed off Levi with a pissed off Y/N beside him. It seems like their hushed whispering wasn’t so hushed at all. 

“When you gossip about our private life the least you could do is wait until we’ve left the room.” You gritted.

“No, it wasn’t-” Hange tries to defend herself but is cut off by Levi, “We already heard you talking. Now out with it before I change my mind about letting this slide.”

The three guilty professors sigh, sharing a look before Erwin decides to come clean. “We’re concerned for you.” He starts. “You’ve been ignoring each other the entire day and whatever this fight is, it’s the worst one I’ve seen you have.”

You sigh. “Listen, it’s not that we don’t appreciate your concern, it’s just that-”

“-it’s just that it’s none of your goddamn business.” Levi interjects and you immediately glare at his rudeness. 

“Shut it, Levi. I don’t have time for your bull.”

“And I don’t have time for your petty lies.”

The three watched as you and Levi begin to quarrel, sharp words and irritated glares thrown around with each passing second. Your voices overlapped with each other as Erwin tried to make sense of what it was you were even fighting about, some words about betrayal in the highest degree and ruining a good thing and a relationship built on lies being the few words he understands. 

Finally, he has enough.

“Stop.” Erwin says loudly but firmly. The two of you pause from your bickering him and stare at him incredulously; he continues to speak, “We’re not teenagers anymore, we’re grown adults. I’m getting tired of playing mediator whenever you fight but if I have to do it again so you stop yelling, then I will.” 

He sighs. “Now what the hell are you two fighting about?”

“Y/N started it.” “Levi started it.” You say at the same time, and Erwin feels a headache coming but decides to ignore it.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

The two of you stare at each other angrily, almost daring the other to back down. This goes on for a few seconds before Levi finally sighs and speaks.

“Y/N thinks lemon scented detergent is better than lavender scented detergent.”

Hange and Moblit snicker but quickly shut up when Erwin gives them a look. He wasn’t even surprised that a fight as small and menial as this would be the fight that tears his favorite power couple apart.

“It is and you know it.” You reply defiantly and Levi groans in frustration, hand holding his head in disbelief as he quietly mutters, “I can’t believe I’m marrying someone who thinks lemon is better than lavender.”

At that, Hange’s ears perk up. “You’re getting married?!” She screams, and the two of you look at her in confusion, fight suddenly forgotten.

“Yeah, next week.” You reply wearily. “We emailed you the invites.”

If Erwin thought your bickering was loud, then the squeal that Hange let out was nothing short of deafening as she suddenly lunges at the couple, forcing them into a group hug as she cheers, “I knew it! I fucking knew it! You are together.”

Levi scoffs. “Don’t be silly, it’s for tax purposes. Apparently the bank won’t approve the loan for our new house unless we’re legally wed; something about tax fraud.”

“House?” Moblit echoes. “Don’t you already live together?”

You nod. “Yeah, but we figured the kids-”

“Dogs.” Levi corrects.

“-deserve a yard to run around in. Our apartment’s getting too cramped for the four of us.”

“Don’t ruin this for me!” Hange yells. “I have a wedding to plan.”

Levi sighs. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, four-eyes. There isn’t going to be a ceremony. We’re going to a court house to get our marriage license approved. That’s it.”

“And we invited you and Erwin to be our witnesses.” You explained. “There isn’t going to be a celebration but we’re going to host a small dinner party for close friends and family.We’d greatly appreciate it if you can RSVP to the emails within the week so we know how much food to prepare.”

The three professors nod, each exchanging pleasant smiles. It wasn’t the wedding invite they were hoping to receive but it was still a wedding invite nonetheless, and they weren’t about to burst your bubble.

“Hold on a second,” Erwin mutters, suddenly remembering one detail. “Where are your rings?” He gestures to your ringless hands.

“We had them engraved with our initials. Makes things more believable.” Levi answers. “If you’re done with the dumb questions, we’ll go ahead now.” 

He doesn’t wait for them to answer as he holds your hand in his, walking you out of the faculty room and into the hallway as he pretends not to notice his friends giggling like teenagers at the information you just shared.

“So...” You start, giving him a warm smile as you squeezed his hand. “Do you think they’re catching on?”

Levi lets out a rare smile, eyes softening as he looks at you. “No. They’re too dumb to know we’re actually together. They’ll eat up whatever bullshit explanation we come up with.”

“Okay, but remind me again why we have to keep pretending like we’re not actually together and not actually getting married next week?”

He brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles affectionately before placing his hand on the small of your back.

“Does it bother you that they don’t know?” He asks, and you hum as you think it through. “No. It’s actually really entertaining.” You laugh. “But why don’t you want them to know?”

He shrugs, pulling you closer to him. “That’s what they get for placing stupid bets.”

alrightberries © 2020. do not modify or repost.

If you want to be added to the tag list, click this link! 

[listentothelittlebird]

Hey remember that time I wrote a crossover oneshot for Young Justice TV and the og Teen Titans show? Yeah I forgot too

(it’s called It’s a Small World did i forget the title of my own oneshot pffft nooooo)

Anyway here’s the outtake with Kaldur

Word count: 1149

Garth turned to his friend, grinning widely. It had taken a week’s worth of pestering his companion to convince him to finally accompany him to the surface. He had unfortunately missed the main titans gathering - the party that stretched well past midnight - but had still agreed to visit in the days that followed. 

“Welcome to Titans tower!” Garth crowed, throwing out his hands as the doors to the common room slid open. 

There were still remnants of a party scattered around the room - the faint smell of chips and snacks clung to the air like leeches. The floor had yet to be rid of crumbs and juice stains - most of which was likely from the toddlers. There was a suspicious mark on the one-way window that could be anything from a handprint to slobber.

“Don’t mind the mess,” Garth smiled sheepishly, “The remaining Titans are meant to be pitching in the next few days to clean it all up. I promise, the base is usually… cleaner than this.”

“It is alright,” his Atlantean friend assured, “I am not adverse to the mess. In fact, it makes it… homely.”

“Well said, brother,” Garth grinned. They were not family by blood, but they had practically grown up under the same roof. “Come, now; I promised some of the Titans I’d introduce you!”

-

Robin yawned as he trudged into the common room. It had taken more than a few years to get to this point - where he allowed himself to let down his guard around his team, enough to start blending his Robin persona back into civilian clothing.

He still preferred wearing his Robin costume, an armour that had become like second skin. Currently, though, he was wearing a gag gift from Beast Boy - a red-and-yellow letter jacket that had been custom-made, replacing a school logo with his Robin symbol. “Titan” was written behind, with the number “01”.

It was stupid, and childish. He loved it.

A blur of yellow-red whizzed past him, and Robin held out his hand just in time for a cup of juice to be pressed into his palm. The blur went back and forth through the door behind them, sliding to a stop just as Robin stepped away and the door slid closed. 

“G’morning,” Kid Flash grinned, the cup of juice in his own hand already half-drained, “You look like you actually slept, for once. I’m surprised.”

“I know what sleep is, Kid,” Robin huffed, rolling his eyes under his mask, “It’s B who has trouble telling night from day. Serves him right for setting up his base in a cave.”

“Like your man-cave is much better,” Kid Flash snarked, and ducked under Robin’s half-hearted swing, “Dude, your room is literally a dump. Like, how do you even find anything in there?”

“I have my ways,” Robin grumbled. They ambled towards the kitchen area as the door behind them slid open once more.

“Kid Flash! Robin!” 

The two looked up to see Garth pacing cheerfully towards them. He stopped mid-pace, then turned and grabbed someone, dragging them out of the corridor. 

“There’s someone I want you guys to meet,” Garth grinned, hand still tugging his friend along by the arm. Robin assumed this was one of Garth’s Atlantean friends - he was wearing a turtleneck, a hoodie pulled low over his face.

“You didn’t mention you had some fishy friends,” Kid Flash teased. Robin resisted the urge to groan as he elbowed his long-time friend. 

“Ha-ha,” Garth deadpanned, “Very funny.” He turned back to his friend and said something in Atlantean. The person shrugged in response. 

“Alright,” Garth started, clearing his throat hesitantly. Robin tilted his head encouragingly, Kid Flash straightening from where he was leaning on the kitchen counter. 

“The reason I’ve never talked about this friend is because he’s been deep undercover for the last few years,” Garth stated quietly, “He was practically infiltrating the shark’s mouth, the right-hand man of the operation. He only finished his operation last month - with his help, Atlantis was able to bring into custody several of the higher-profile fugitives of Atlantis.”

Robin raised an eyebrow. “Your point?”

“Well,” Garth fumbled, “Look. My friend over here, he’s a great guy. I trust him with my life. I just wanted you to know that. Some of the Atlanteans, they… still don’t trust him. And I want to make it clear that I, as a Titan, trust him.”

Robin and Kid Flash exchanged stoic glances, before breaking into warm smiles. “We got it,” Robin assured, and addressed the still-hooded figure, “If Garth trusts you, then so do we.”

Robin moved forward then, as Garth stepped aside. “I’m Robin,” he said, offering his hand with a friendly smile, “Welcome to Titans tower.”

Garth’s friend clasped his arm in an Atlantean handshake, and Robin only had a moment to identify the man’s darker skin tone before a familiar voice had him freezing in place.

“Kaldur’ahm.” As he spoke, he flipped down his hoodie with his free hand. His smile was just on the side of smug, “It’s my honour to meet the leader of the Titans.”

Robin gawked, blinking dumbly at his old friend. When Kaldur made to pull away from the handshake, Robin snapped back to himself. He tightened his grip on his friend’s arm and pulled him forward, bringing his free arm up to trap the ex-Aqualad in a clumsy hug.

The sudden weight at their sides nearly unbalanced them, but Robin was too used to Kid Flash’s sudden appearances to truly be surprised. “Kaldur!” Wally babbled happily, “Kal, dude, what is up! It’s been fucking ages, you fishhead!”

“My apologies,” Kaldur chuckled fondly, “Indeed, it has been far too long. If I was able to, I would have come far earlier. As Garth said, it’s been scarcely a month since I’ve returned.”

“You’ve been free for a month and you still went and missed the party?” Wally whined, “Dude!”

“Lay off him, Kid,” Robin laughed, reluctantly releasing Kaldur from the hug. The three stepped away and grinned at each other for a moment, content to remain in the moment.

“It’s good to see you well, Kaldur,” Robin grinned, feeling the remnants of his younger, childish joy slipping through. 

“I feel the same.” Kaldur’s smile was smaller, but no less real. He glanced warmly between the two younger heroes, “It’s a shame that I’ve missed so much, but I’m all the more glad for how much both of you have grown, from when we last met.”

Behind them, a throat was cleared.

“Uhm,” Garth was blinking confusedly at their reunion, “I think I’m missing something?”

Kaldur smiled sheepishly, “Apologies, my brother. I befriended Robin and Kid Flash during my time spent on the surface.”

“During your time as Aqualad,” Garth realised, smacking his forehead, “Odin’s beard, I should’ve guessed! You knew who they were all along, didn’t you?”

Kaldur's answer was a smirk.

[darthwheezely]

grande - g.w.

Summary: George meets a mighty adorable barista in the new cafe on Diagon Alley and the man just can’t help himself... based off the song Coffee Girl by Johnny Socko! Sorry this took me absolute ages (9 days oops) to get out, guys :/

Warnings: DIABETIC FLUFF STUPID AMOUNTS OF CARDIAC ARREST INDUCING FLUFF UWU,mentions of sexism, Fred being Fred, cussing probably, alludes to sex, PG/PG-13

taglist or people that might like this but idk: @theweasleyslut @kitwalker02 @loony-loopy-lupinn @wand3ringr0s3 @gcdric @thehufflepuffwife @monoscandal @lupinsclassroom @whiz-bangs78 @vogueweasley @rogueweasleys @band--psycho @lumosandnoxwriting @oh-for-merlins-sake @amxrtentias @virgohufflepuff @vivianweasley

George Weasley didn’t sleep. This had long been the habit of his ever since he and his parents had discovered that his elder twin Fred had been an avid sleepwalker by age 4, then became a (minor) party animal in his Hogwarts days, and finally when he became the co-owner of one of the Wizard World’s most successful entrepreneurs and business owners.

The man hadn’t slept in about 18 years give or take. And days like this reminded him of it constantly.

It was a Saturday, the first of the month, and to boot, it was about to be Christmas in a little over a week. Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes was packed with everyone from couples window shopping, children in desperate need of fun now that school was out, parents trying to keep them in line, and even some old lady named Ethel (who swore she was part Veela, and therefore Fred couldn’t “escape her girlish charm.”)

“Ethel, you have an absolutely ravishing day, and don’t even worry about that moisturizer it’d be a waste of product on a natural beauty like you” Fred winked and kissed the old lady’s hand, George watching from the top of the steps rolling his eyes.

“Oh, Freddie, you know how to keep a lady young, don’t you? Oh - goodbye, Georgie! Have a good rest of your day boys!” She waved majestically to the younger twin on the stairs and he bowed royally in response.

“Bye, Ethel!” They both called as she exited the building, the bells flurrying in her wake.

“Georgie, mate, hate to say it but you are being uncharacteristically quiet and it’s making me uncharacteristically uncomfortable.” Fred said bounding up the stairs to meet him, chuckling briefly.

“Freddie, mate, hate to say it but I’ve had absolutely no sleep as of late and it’s getting to me. But I’ll be back up to my usual antics in no time.” He padded down the stairs, winking at a couple young ladies ogling him, sending them into a fit of giggles. Fred sat down on the middle step eyeing his brother carefully. It didn’t take a genius to see George wasn’t holding on much longer, the dark circles littering his eyes and the way he mussed up his already purposely messy hair just...didn’t comfort his older twin at all.

“George.” Fred sighed, George looking back at him, confused. He took his hands away from the merchandise Wonder Witch he’d been rearranging and gave him full attention.

“Take your lunch break early. And longer if possible.”

“Pffft, why would I do that when I have women to woo and boxes to juggle?”

“George.”

“Fred.”

“Stop, I mean it. You look half dead as it is, just go take a nap or get an espresso from the cafe down the aisle or something that reinforces the idea that yes, you are a human being and no, not a zombie.” Fred crossed his arms feeling suddenly a lot like Molly and dropped the cross. George pretended to ponder this tapping his chin, rather finding the mature brother role reversal funny as hell.

“Oh, alright, but can I still be a zombie when I get back?”

Fred hit him with a folder and sent him on his way.

-•-•-

You had just finished the lunch rush, finally being able to calm down and not have to worry about making one more goddamn Butterbeer Latte for at least another 20 or so minutes...until there’d be another rush. You grabbed a lemon scone, took off your apron and sat against the back counter. You inhaled the citrus scent, it was always something that you loved to savor, and took a bite.

The holidays for the Merlin’s Mochas, the cafe, had been absolutely atrocious so far. All you had for customers were angry businessmen, bratty kids and their upper class parents who let them run around the already small place being rude to everyone, your boss Lionel who had an affinity for calling every woman who worked there a “bitch” (...ok lionel) and to top it all off: you’d been pulling 9 hour days every day except sundays. Needless to say: you kind of super hated your job.

You had just finished your scone when you heard the door chime signal a customer, immediately wiping your hands on your jeans and restrapping your apron.

“Hi how can I-“ oh Jesus this is the hottest man I have ever seen. He was easily no older than 23, fiery red hair, a perfectly tailored striped terracotta suit, green tie, and the most gorgeous doe brown eyes you’d ever seen.

“How can you...?”

“Help you, ohmygod, I am so sorry I’m super-“

“Tired? Yeah me too...interesting how similar we are this early in the game hmm?” He winked at you and your knees felt too weak. No he was just a stupid hot customer that also was really hot and also? Was super hot. No worries, Y/N, just don’t die by 22 okay thanks.

“Very funny...wait are you-“ your finger led from him to the statue outside Wizard Wheezes, realizing a simple oh shit

“Yeah, that would be me. Or my twin Fred but we never really decided, that’s why he kind of looks like both of us mixed. Although we’re twins so we basically look the same anyway. I mean because were identical. Twins, yeah.” George, what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you sweating? She’s just a simply beautiful girl in a simply maddeningly purple coffee shop can you please breathe and not make yourself look stupid-

“Oh, wow! I’ve never met a twin before - not like twins are anomalies or anything it’s just so crazy. Science. Science is crazy” You closed your eyes and took a breath

“We should probably start over shouldn’t we?” You wrinkled your nose.

“That sounds much more redeeming than anything we both were about to say” George breathed out laughing softly, rubbing his hand through his hair.

“I’m George. Weasley. Like I said, I work at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, the shop over there, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen this place before...or you for that matter, I never forget a beautiful young woman.” He said smoothly, his heart steadily subsiding - something about you had the power to not only make him scared out of his mind, but also totally at ease.

You returned the smile, warmly, the blood rushing to your cheeks at his compliment and sticking your tongue to your teeth. “Well, George Weasley, of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes I’m Y/N Y/L/N. And yeah, we’re new around here,” you leaned further onto the counter, realizing, albeit a moment too late that your eye level was directly with his abs now, and although he was wearing a suit...you could definitely tell they were there.

“We erm, just opened three months ago. It’s honestly a bit of a time to work here.”

“Oh and why is that?”

“Well, nothing like a blatant sexist to run an entirely female employed establishment and weird stuffy rich people.” Your eyes widened suddenly, and you felt like you had said far too much far too soon. But he gasp-laughed - laugh that ended as soon as it began and burst into a smile...like you had shared a secret with him.

“What the hell is he doing here then? Got a boy’s club to run in a purple coffee shop?”

“I mean you never really know these days, George, imposters are among us at every moment” you purred and pushed off the counter, meaning it as a joke but George’s heart screamed when he heard your name. As you moved to the other edge of the counter, he followed you.

“What a resourceful and cruel young woman, I am starting to like you, Miss Y/L/N.” He clucked. “And do you think of me like you think of Mr. I-Hate-Women-That’s-Why-I-Hire-Them?” He got inches from your face, smelling the coffee beans and vanilla extract that riddled your skin.

“Hmm...Mr. Weasley, I’m not so sure.” You coyly stepped away from him and took long strides to the far end of the coffee bar by the wall. George immediately felt a pit of flirtatious butterflies and (arousal?) something more in his stomach, jaw dropped, he followed you again. He pressed his hands to the counter in front of you.

“Well, how can I convince you?” He asked rather quickly.

“Hmm...” you leaned forward like he did before and his breath hitched in his throat “...let’s get you a cuppa first.”

-•-

“Wait, okay let me get this straight-“

“Yes?”

“You have 6 other siblings.”

“Yes.”

“...because your mom wanted a girl?”

“That-that would in fact be true, yes.”

You thought for a moment.

“So you’re telling me after she made it through you two-“

“-she still wanted to have more of us, believe me, it races through my mind daily.” He nodded vehemently laughing with you. You two had taken to the empty cafe at a table nestled in the corner, him sitting in a chair across from you on a bench. You had both been cracking each other up with stories from your childhoods, like how you both had managed to never know of the other’s existence until now.

He’d discovered that you had transferred from Hogwarts to Beauxbatons early on in your fourth year. You, a Hufflepuff, loved the quiet and soft landscape of the French school. You both had absolutely no idea the other existed. How? The world may never know.

He was brash. You were careful.

He was already flying when you were just feeling comfortable learning how to walk.

But you sat there with him for the better amount of an hour and a half, laughing and interrupting each other with memories of the school years you had, some weird and strange, and especially during fourth year, hard for George to talk about.

Ginny, his baby sister, had almost died. And as he said to you in a candid and highly vulnerable state: he blamed himself for almost letting her go to this day.

“I...I really do believe it was my fault.”

“George, it couldn’t have been your fault. Hogwarts is a big freaking death trap - you and I both know that,” you had said with an exasperated laugh, eager to make him feel better in any facet.

“Yeah, but...I’m her big brother. Yes, she has five other older brothers but...we were supposed to protect her.” He swallowed and blinked back tears. “It was her first year, for Christ’s sake, and I paid about as much attention to her as a doorknob would.” He had rolled his jaw and taken a gulp of his gingerbread latte (you had said it was your favorite, and he was loathe to try anything else) and you had softly draped your hand on top of his.

“If she’s as kind and loving and funny as you, I’d love to meet her.” You quipped, a small smile growing on your face in effort to soothe. He had smiled back at you, turning your hand over in his and drawing his digits lazily over your palm.

“Funny, because I was thinking the same thing.”

-•-

He had told you to close your eyes, that much had been true.

See, his coffee had started to get cold. So, like if you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll have to have some milk-

If you give a George a latte he will have to not only have another one, but also feel the strenuous need to show off for you and take you to his place of work. Naturally. And it was so lucky that by the time he’d proposed you leave, he even helped you clean and lock up afterwards.

Truthfully, it almost scared you how much he had seemed to care.

“Alright, Y/N, darling, I’m going to release my hands on the count of three, yeah?”

“Perfect, Georgie” you giggled. You’d legitimately only knew him for so long, but you just...you trusted him. He grinned widely, his strong hands only applying a slight amount of pressure as not to hurt you.

“Alright, then. 1. 2-“ he took his hands off your eyes and watched you adjust not only to light, but to your surroundings as well.

“3.” He breathed out taking in the way you smiled like a teenager, face alight with pure inundating wonder. You squealed and started to run around the store.

“Look at these! Pygmy Puffs - ugh they’re so adorable look at this one! Oh, oh - ‘Fizzing Whizbees’ - these look absolutely wicked! And Per- ‘Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder’?” You picked up the glittery stone in your hand, and heard a smooth voice perk up behind you.

“A real money spinner, that one.” You turned around and there was a man that looked absolutely identical to George, although entirely different in the same way.

“Handy if you need to make a quick getaway,” you heard George on the other side of you. He smiled warmly down at you, nodding his head up to look at the twin across from him.

“Y/N, this is my-“

“-older, much more attractive and fiscally responsible brother.” He winked and you blushed almost immediately. “Fred. Weasley.”

“Y/N Y/L/N. Georgie has told me a lot about you and the shop - absolutely marvelous this place is, I cant believe you two created so much in such a short span of time. Brilliant it all is, really!” George had started to flush, rubbing his jaw to seemingly take the red away from his striking face. Fred, upon hearing the genuine warmth from your voice and the unmistakable use of “Georgie” had a small, but highly distinct aha moment:

“Well, we couldn’t have done it all on our own, one of our best friends helped us out a good lot. But thank you, really...it means so much when other people see how much we do and-” he looked directly at George.

“-acknowledge the things we love, right George?”

“Absolutely, Frederick.” Fred had given him the look that seemed to imply: “please, God, make a damn move.”

“Well, Y/N, I’m going to be off and woo some ladies, have a biscuit and do some paperwork” he smiled wide when you giggled, already enjoying your company.

“But I hope to see you again, very soon, yeah? Please stop by whenever you can, we’re alwYs just down the street.”

“Freddie, for your company, I’m not so sure, I’m still deciding.” You quipped. Fred laughed heartily at that and looked at George.

“Georgie, I like this one.” George looked at you and winked.

“Me, too Freddie, me too.” You leaned back on your heels as Fred padded back up the stairs to the flat, now completely alone with George. You threw your arms behind you back and forth and took a long stride to George.

“So...what are you those?” You nodded up to the array of pink bubbles in a clam shape in the corner. He hummed and reached to grab your hand.

“Love potions - c-can I show you?” He raised an eyebrow slightly, but he felt his whole body turn to mush when you accepted his hand and nodded slowly. As he walked with you, you memorized the feeling of his callouses and veins, the way your hand curled deliberately in his.

You wanted to make sure if it was the last time you felt something like that, you had that memory with you for a while.

“Essentially, if you give these to a person they will temporarily have feelings of love and attraction for you. Depending of course on the dosage you use and the weight of the person in question.” He explained. You watched the way his suit jacket pulled taut against his back muscles and instinctively wanted to honestly just take the whole thing off-

“Hmm...I don’t know about these, Georgie.” You hummed mischievously. Your heart was pounding in your chest.

He scoffed placing a dramatic hand over his heart. “Am i being questioned in my own establishment, Miss Y/L/N?”

You rolled your eyes and hit his arm, bowing slightly at him. “Well, do forgive my feminine insolence, Mr. Weasley, it’s not often I meet such bewitching mad scientists like you.” You watched his face grow blank for a moment at your compliment and immediately wanted to throw up.

“George, I’m really sorry, I know we just became friends-“

“Do you mean it?” He took a step towards you. You swallowed finding again his perfect milk chocolate eyes. You nodded.

“Hell yeah I did, you’re smart...and wicked hot” you both laughed at that. He took another step, the distance being unbearably harder to live in as his digits found a piece of hair and wound it behind your ear.

“Well, darling, the feeling is quite mutual.” He said quietly, taking in the whole of your face. He wanted to crash his lips onto every possible nook and crevice of your face, collide with you entirely.

“We’re going to have to do something about that, then, aren’t we?” You gently nudged his nose with yours and wrapped your arms around his neck, his strong and powerful arms pulling you to him gently. He wanted you to feel him not to break under his embrace. He leaned down and brushed his lips up to yours, feeling you whine and let out a minuscule sound.

“Got you making noises for me already and haven’t even kissed you yet, hmm?”

Your eyes fluttered close and one of your legs made it’s way in between his, snapping any chance at loose air between you two out of the way.

“Please, Weasley, pants a bit small for you?”

“Keep talking like that and they might, yeah.” You two laughed softly and with a final look to your lips he closed the last gap.

His mouth was perfect. His lips ghosted over yours one last time before wrapping every part of himself onto your frame, your lips entangled in each other like you’d never be able to taste him again.

But it was loving and slow and sweet. He tasted like gingerbread lattes and pastries and cinnamon and licking into his mouth you could feel the spice. He moaned lightly into your mouth, sending your knees buckling. He dipped you slightly, a hand traveling to your lower back to keep you steady, and his other hand coming up to nestle under the nape of your hair. Your hands caressed his face, his chest, needless to say? You wanted them everywhere. You wanted him everywhere.

The kiss broke and you and George were left breathless in each other’s hold, your foreheads pressed together as he kept you slightly dipped.

“Y/N, I’m feeling a bit tired” he quipped hoarsely, pressing a brief kiss to your lips and onto your neck. You hummed satisfactorily.

“Georgie, you’re gonna need another latte aren’t you?” You set multiple chaste kisses to his lips and cheeks, feeling him rumble with a small giggle. He caught your mouth with his and you moaned slightly.

“I’m gonna need a whole pot, to drink you in, love.”

[2-cute-4-school]

𝘕𝘊𝘛 𝘋𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘴

requested by the lovely @m4rshm4llow​ (*ૂ❛ัᴗ❛ั*ૂ)

Mark Lee

i think mark is quite good with children too when he’s not frozen in awkwardness

but i wouldn’t trust with him alone with a kid for too long tbh

like i see him as someone who could probably entertain a kid for a couple of hours succesfully but taking care of them?? yeah no (˵¯͒ བ¯͒˵)

so let’s say he had to tag along with you to babysit because he didn’t want to waste any time he could spend with you *let my boy receive his love*

but he’s not thaaaat excited he just hopes that the kid will get K.O.-ed early in the night so he could have some alone time with you( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).... TO CUDDLE ya nasties

so when you arrive at your cousin’s house and you come in

he surely DIDN’T expect a kid to literally throw himself onto you and cling to your legs while chanting your name o(*^▽^*)o

the only way you can get him to detach so you can walk is if you pick him up in your arms

“y/n, who’s he?” mark just stares at the chubby finger pointed at him and produces an *HIGHLY AWKWARD* smile like (*′☉.̫☉)

“oh this is mark, my boyfriend”

*silence* “ew”

now hold on rewind

did a kid just ‘ew’ at mark (｡☉︵ ಠ╬)

and then he had THE AUDACITY to cling to your neck while rambling about his new robot toy and mark had to THIRDWHEEL the entire night

now he’s sure you have superpowers how could you tame that!!??!?! even haechan could be considered mild in comparison to... this ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

he’s pouty the entire evening while you play and take care of the newly spawned devil in town who HOGS your attention the entire time

so when he finally runs out of energy a bit later than mark would have hoped for, he’s quick to envelop you in his arms and drag you into a well deserved cuddle session ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

“what took you so looong?”

“sorry sorry, i had to look under his man for boogeyman”

“pffft i think boogeyman is the one looking under his bed for that kid”

but he does melt when he remembers the way your eyes sparkled as the child giggled excitedly on your lap while imagining himself in the picture too (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡

Huang Renjun

renjun as we all know is just a bit short tempered so i’m not sure where he stands in his relationship with kids 눈_눈

but also he brings up his younger cousins quite often and he seems very fond of them whenever he talks about them

so i guess he likes kids but like good kids ya know Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

so let’s say you’re shopping in like one of those bigger supermarkets

and you hear cries

your mother instincts literally GO OFF LIKE CRAZY

renjun doesn’t even have the time to blink before you’re dragging him in the direction of the noise with such precision you might as well have a radar at this point ᕕ༼✿•̀︿•́༽ᕗ

turns out a little girl was lost between the tall aisles

renjun is a lil bewildered cause what is he supposed to do? not like he’s tall enough to see other the aisles in his dreams maybe

but you seem to know EXACTLY what to do as you crouch down in front of the girl and speak to her so gently not even renjun can hear properly

and then as if nothing happened she stops crying

just like that so renjun decides to try his luck too o｜◕ˇ▽ˇ◕｜ツ

“come on, let’s go find mommy and daddy”

and lemme tell ya the little girl sprung into your arms and clung to you with everything she had as she mumbled into your neck

“i only wanna go with miss” (つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡

his eye twitched a lil ngl （；¬＿¬)

and that’s how you end up taking a stroll to the announcement desk with a whole child gripping onto your hand

renjun would have never imagined his grocery run to turn into this

he only wanted some damn carrots not a frickin child ಠ╭╮ಠ

thankfully it didn’t take long for the parents to run over and thank you for returning their child safely but there was only one problem left

getting her to let go of you

that was a whole ass dramatic goodbye

poor renjun was left exhausted after this he gave up any grocery run he intended to do and dragged you home pronto (ﾉTдT)ﾉ

he admires you so much for how you handled the situation and how you seemed to be so natural and in your element he can only think of how great of a mother you will be in the future with his beside you hopefully

Lee Jeno

one word, his greatest asset: PATIENCE

i see jeno as a man of patience which is more than just helpful when it comes to handling children ❀.(*´◡`*)❀.

he’s also volunteered in all these programs that involved children and he did really well if you ask me soooo he’s a good ally to have (︶.̮︶✽)

and you really REALLY want to volunteer together at one of those like emergency centres for children or something

and who is he to deny his love? he couldn’t have even if he wanted to, you’re too cute in his eyes so he lets you get your way anyway

so before you step inside one of the caretakers gives you some advice

warns you that the new kid, a little girl still in primary school, is still very closed off and wary of everyone

but as you step inside the kids get drawn to you like moths to a flame, swarming around you and asking you questions while dragging you in the living room to play with them

jeno just trails behind, watching the entire commotion with his soft eye smile as he understands (◍•ᴗ•◍)

he knows that you just have a way with people, he’s been in the same position mesmerized by you, it’s one of the reasons he loves you so much and seeing you so purely happy surrounded by children

MELTED HIM ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡

eventually you drag him into the happy circle too and he seems to fit in just right by your side with giggling children everywhere around you

he ends up using his muscly arms ᕙ[ ˵ ͡’ ω ͡’ ˵ ]ᕗ as swings

“hey!! i’m stronger than you!!! let’s have a fight!!!!”

you just giggle as you colour some pictures with a few kids but stare at your boyfriend from the corner of your eye

jeno is so simply happy and comfortable he doesn’t even notice when you disappear from the crowd at first

but when he does his eyes search wildly for you like a lost puppy Σ(ﾟﾛ､ﾟ;)

but then he spots you

curled up on a small couch in the corner of the room, deep in conversation with the new girl whose eyes seemed just a little brighter as you clutched her hand in yours warmly ｡ﾟ.(*´◡` )

and jeno just realises again

you’re just working your charm once again and once again jeno falls for you for the nth time, deeper than the last time and lighter than the next

Lee Donghyuck

this manchild right here smh ୧༼◔益◔୧ ༽

now don’t get me wrong i’m pretty sure he’s decent at least with children

given he has two younger siblings and he often talks about hanging out with his little brother also have you seen that vid with the little girl?? the was he talked to her ⊂（♡⌂♡）⊃

buuuut BUT he’s also DYING like a fish out of water without attention

so when he invites you to tag along to his hangout with his lil bro

he didn’t expect TO BE THE ONE THIRDWHEELING!!!! (╬ಠ益ಠ)

you keep feeding and pampering his brother who basks in your full attention half because he loves it half because he loves the annoyed look on hyuck’s face

“babe i want some kimchi too” (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

“oh!!! sure, i’m sorry for hoarding it all”

and as hyuck awaits with his eyes closed and his mouth open with a pleased smile

you plop a bowl of kimchi in front of him and turn back to his brother as he tugs on the sleeve of your shirt

hyuck, muttering to himself: ‘i should have left you home, you lil brat, both of you traitors!!!!!’ (ノTДT)ノ ┻┻

he pouts and sighs dramatically with crossed arms the entire night while watching you interact oh so sweetly with his little brother

but he can’t deny the warm feeling of fondness swarming is his chest seeing you get along so well with his family and being so genuinely happy when you’re with kids

still complains to you when he gets you alone

“i can’t believe you love my brother more than me!!! ME, YOUR SWEET LOVELY CUTIE BOYFRIEND!!!” ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

“first of all, i wouldn’t stretch it that far-” “how is that stretching-?!??!”

“i’m sorry i’m sorry, my sweet lovely cutie boyfriend, i just missed him, he’s so cute and i haven’t seen him in so long and he seems to grow so fast every time we meet” (oꆤ︵ꆤo)

NOW hyuck is real soft how can he be mad at you when you’re THIS ADORABLE AFSKSGDFSAF-

hyuck just presses a sweet smooch to your temple and mutters

“he only acts that cute with you, he’s a devil at home”

“sheesh, i wonder who he takes after” *pointed look* (￢ε￢　)

Na Jaemin

my man here will most likely compete with YOU for the CHILD’S attention

it’s like GAME OVER for him if a child rejects him ε-(≖д≖﹆)

he’s never gonna get over this betrayal from both sides

so let’s say he takes you with him when he offers to babysit a cousin or neighbour idk you get where i’m getting at

and he’s already ‘play buddies’ with him as jaemin likes to put it (,,꒪꒫꒪,,)

and you’re slightly acquitanced with him from a previous visit to jaemin’s house when you coincidentally met

so when jaemin opens the door and announces his presence LOUDLY, the little boy doesn’t waste A SECOND to waddle in the hallway and meet you both ლ(＾ω＾ლ)

and jaemin crouches to meet him midway and-

and he *swooshes* past jaemin and into your open arms while giggling

jaemin, a lonely man in the middle of a hallway: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

the entire day, your boyfriend tries to steal the kid’s attention or bribe him over with sweets or toys

now you’re wondering who the real brat is

is salty about the UTTER rejection but also can’t help but watch you both so fondly with a proud hopefully in future for real fatherly smile (*ૂ❛ัᴗ❛ั*ૂ)

“are you practicing, y/n?”

“pardon?”

“practice, are you practicing?”

“for...?” ∑（´△｀○）

“ya know” *wiggles eyebrows* “taking care of our future children”

“learn how to control your own brat at home read jisung first and THEN we can talk, jaemama”

jaemin can’t believe this low blow, how could you after everything he’s done: cooking for you, taking you on bike rides even though he was the one who wanted to, even buying pads!!! or even worse!!!!! STRAWBERRY YOGHURT!!!!!! ∑(ﾟ台ﾟlll

he’s still pouty as you all put on an animation and snuggle a blanket

but then!!!! you fall asleep with the little boy in your embrace

and jaemin!!!!! just!!! CAN’T!!! stay mad!!!!!! cause you’re both just SO absolutely irrevocably CUTE!!!!!! ♡( ૢ⁼̴̤̆ ꇴ ⁼̴̤̆ ૢ)~ෆ♡

so he just HAS TO lay a *meaningful* smooch on your forehead as he sleepily moves closer to you both, one arm wrapping loosely around you while the other caresses the child’s head, lulling the both of them to sleep his protecc instincts kicked in y’all

Zhong Chenle

he has already expressed his wish to have a family someday since he wants to live the same happiness his brother does with his own family

which i think is ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS

and we all know he’s WHIPPED for his nephew ˞♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ)

but unfortunately

that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s good with children yet

let me give you a context over here

so he’s left alone for a short while with his baby nephew which shouldn’t be too bad since technically chenle is an adult at least legally okay??

and right things are all good until BABY STARTS TO CRY i’m talking about the actual baby here although chenle might cry too at this point

and chenle just PANICS when he realises that just shushing won’t work and whacking a hand over his mouth *cough* like he does to jisung *cough* isn’t an option (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)

but thankfully, you’re there!!!!!!

“may i?” you ask chenle as you stretch out your arms in his direction

chenle has never passed over anything faster in his entire life џ(ºДºџ)

so when you coddle the baby in your arms and just gently bounce him a little he just settles down so cutely and most important QUIETLY as he stares up at you with curious eyes, small fingers curling up around a necklace swung around your neck or just the fabric of your shirt

chenle is all like (๑•́o•̀๑)!!

HOW DID YOU JUST DO THAT!!!!

and he watches with eyes even more curious than his nephew’s eyes as the baby slowly dozes off peacefully in your arms (꒡ ω ꒡ )zzz

it just hits him just how natural the scene looks

he approaches carefully once he’s sure his nephew fell asleep and lays a gentle hand on your head as he peers down at the cute chubby baby face

“you’re a life saver, how did you even manage to do that?” ◎ܫ◎

“you know, i have to take care of you all the time so-”

he flicks your forehead faster than you can finish that sentence

way to ruin a moment (oT-T)

but *SIKEEE* the baby fusses a little as soon as you frown and chenle immediately freaks out

he showers the spot on your forehead with kisses and his nephew settles down once again as you smile at him proudly ໒( ͡ᵔ ▾ ͡ᵔ )७

chenle rolls his eyes as if he doesn’t wish for this scene to become familiar to him sometime in the future

Park Jisung

this chick is still a baby who barely hatched

so he’s still in CONSTANT WONDER of the world ༼ つ ◕o◕ ༽つ

and in this episode of ‘jisung the explorer’ he’s discovering... ACTUAL babies

so you were on a date at the local mall when you met with a family friend of your mom’s who was struggling with her fussy baby girl in a carrier while trying to shop for some baby products

so you offer to watch over the girl until her mom finishes up (•́⌄•́๑)૭✧

but just as you’re about to attach the baby carrier to yourself, an old woman asks for directions around the shop

so you pass the baby to jisung for literally a minute to show the lady the way └(>ω<。)┐

and jisung is HIGHKEY PANICKED

he holds the baby by the underarms at arms length and obviously she doesn’t enjoy that and just starts wailing in the middle of the shop

and people just... stare (,Ծ_Ծ,)

and jisung is all like ‘IT’S NOT MINE!!!!! AND I’M NOT STEALING OR MISTREATING IT EITHER!!!!!!’

the moment you’re back in his sight, he’s THRUSTING that tiny loud bald creature in your arms it’s a child jisung ║ * ರ Ĺ̯ ರ * ║

and he expects for you to panic too but right away

the baby quietens down as you cuddle her close to your chest and coo softly in a hushed baby voice

and she plays with your shirt while you glare at your boyfriend (눈_눈)

“y/n, you sorcerer, how did you just shut it off?”

“i didn’t ‘shut it off’, she’s a baby not a tape recorder”

“oh REALLY, i couldn’t tell the difference for a moment there”

you just might consider returning jisung and keeping the baby（ ಠωಠ）

he watches in wonder as you entertain the baby for the next few minutes until her mother comes back

and he swears his heart skips a beat when he sees your smile widen with tenderness once you get a small giggle out of the baby (*ฅ́˘ฅ̀*)

he supposes maybe she isn’t so bad since she makes you so happy

even though she was louder than even chenle which is an accomplishment at this point

and when jisung notices your slight pout once you gave the baby back and parted ways he makes sure to shower your face in kisses until you regain the same smile that made him fall so deep in love with you

[oumaheroes]

Spain + France bromance pls 🥺 or maybe bro-fight? Bonus points for mention of England or Port; bonus bonus background fruk or engport 🙏🏼

Oh yes indeedy Madam

Word Count: A tasty 990

---

An Unfortunate Reminder

At the first possible opportunity to stand up and move about, Spain left his place by his boss and wove his way across the room to talk to France, ‘Why are you wearing that?’

France reared back, startled and visibly offended, ‘Excuse me?’

Spain gestured to his outfit, ‘That. Why are you wearing that?’

‘What do you mean, “That”,’ France shook his head, briefly unable to speak, ‘This is Dior, darling, Dior,’ he stroked one of his lapels with the pads of his fingers, smoothing out non-existent creases and looking somewhat disgusted, ‘What is wrong with you?’

‘No,’ Spain laughed and nudged him on an arm. France immediately brushed him off with distain, ‘no, I mean why are you wearing a suit all done up like that. Your collar is so high and you’ve still got a tie on!�� It wasn’t that France looked bad, not at all, but he did look somewhat… out of place. Although their leaders and government were in official meetings, the day was a hot one and everyone had loosened or shed some amount of clothing. Even for Spain this was warm and Spain was rarely a nation bothered by heat.

‘Oh,’ relieved it was not his taste in clothing that was under scrutiny, France relaxed, ‘I don’t understand your question,’ standing, he collected his things into his bag and moved off out of the room and into the corridor.

Spain followed, hot on his heels, ‘Take your tie off and undo a button or two, it’s too hot.’

‘I am fine as I am, Toni.’

‘No, you’re not, you’re sweating.’

Two delicate spots of pink appeared on France’s cheekbones and his hand twitched as if he had stopped himself from moving it to check, ‘I’m sure you’re imagining things.’

‘Uh huh.’

‘What’s that tone for?’

‘Nothing,’ Spain moved out of the way of an intern who came scurrying down the corridor with a jug of iced water, ‘Just that you’re being an idiot.’

‘I am not, I am at a perfect temperature.’

‘Then why are you sweating.’

France stopped suddenly, turning fast about on his heel and had Spain had worse reflexes he would have crashed right into him, ‘I do not sweat,’ France paused, looking awkward suddenly, ‘I don’t smell, do I?’

Spain leant forward close to smell him, ‘No, you smell fine.’

France sighed, ‘Good.’

‘Come on, what is it? You’ll give yourself heatstroke, just undo a button or two and loosen the tie, you’ll still look professional,’ Spain couldn’t understand the problem, France’s own president was wearing less, ‘The air con won’t be fixed until tomorrow and it’ll look really bad for me if you go fainting in front of the press.’

‘Oh, stop it, I won’t do that,’ France leant against the wall and glanced about the hallway, ‘I can’t undo anything.’

‘Why not?’

France gave an irritated tut and waved a hand uselessly, ‘It won’t be decent and there are going to be photos later on. I do at least like to make an attempt at being professional.’

‘What in God’s name are you talking about?’

France glanced down the corridor again, ‘Okay, fine. Come here.’

Spain, who was already rather close, blinked at him, ‘Er?’

‘God,’ France grabbed hold of his shoulders and manoeuvred Spain about to block the view of anyone coming from the meeting room they’d just left, ‘Don’t laugh,’ he said, tugging his tie loose and undoing the first button on his shirt, ‘don’t you dare.’

‘Sure, whatever, I won’t lau- is that a hicky!?’

‘Shhh!’ right at the hollow of France’s next was a large, dark purple love bite. France covered it back up again quickly and hissed at him, ‘Shut up! Don’t laugh!’

‘Oh my God!’

'Toni!’

‘Who gave you that?’

‘England,’ France’s face had a dark look and he swiftly tightened his tie to sit snugly over the top of the bruise, ‘I met him for dinner last night and he didn’t go home again afterwards.’

This was the best thing that had happened all day. Spain was gleeful, ‘That is hideous.’

‘I know,’ France groaned, ‘The fucking bastard. He knew I had this meeting too and I bet he deliberately chose to do it right there to make things difficult.’

Knowing England, Spain could believe this.

‘And now I have to stand about trussed up all day in the middle of a heatwave and I can’t take anything off because you can’t hide it. Because of where it is, I can’t even put make up on it otherwise it’ll rub off and ruin the shirt and- are you even listening to me? Stop staring.’

France looked so very incredibly sorry for himself that Spain couldn’t help but feel the smallest amount of pity, ‘It’s not actually…not really- I mean you could-‘

France gave him a flat look, ‘Don’t bother, I’m well aware of how it looks. It’s a travesty.’

‘Pffft-‘

France groaned and made to walk off again. Spain grabbed his arm, ‘Okay, okay, I’m sorry. But it’s bad.’

‘Wow. Thank you. I was unaware, I’ve been dressed up like this for fun.’

‘Don’t be like that; let’s go out for lunch. We can find somewhere with AC?’ Spain slipped his arm around France’s elbow, ‘I’ll get it- an apology for my hotel’s air con not working. It’ll make you feel better.’

France raised an eyebrow, ‘If I remember correctly, my dear, it’s your turn to get it anyway.’

‘Oh, is it? I’m sure you’re mistaken; the heat must have gone to your head. I’ll forgive you though, I don’t want you to get upset and start sweating through your fancy blazer.’

‘Ugh, just get me out of here. Maybe England is still in the country and I can kill him.’

‘Blood will certainly hide it.’

‘It’s good for the skin too.’

Spain stopped, ‘Is it?’

France sighed, ‘Not enough to be worth ruining a perfectly innocent suit.’

‘Oh. Shame.’