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#anyway he ALSO hates raging bull lol
lesbiancolumbo · 22 hours
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Genuinely naive question: people don't like Ordinary People??? Maybe biased bc it perfectly captures my own baggage of being raised in a similar family environment.
the short answer is yes lol. the longer answer is if you look up lists of the most overrated oscar winners or the most “undeserved” oscar winners, ordinary people is on there more often than not. its reputation in critical and cinephile circles is 100% that it’s an overblown best picture winner who had the AUDACITY to take the best picture oscar away from uwu small bean just a little innocent guy marty scorsese, and my opinion is this. fuck martin scorsese and his stupid ass fucking garbage film. for the record, no one who has ACTUALLY seen ordinary people thinks it stole oscars from raging bull. it deserved the accolades! people just love to suck at the teat of scorsese and act like he was denied his divine right of kings, or that robert redford didn’t direct a damn good film? stfu. ordinary people gang for life, and i’m with you on that personal note. that was also my own parental dynamic, which is why it was wild as hell that my father showed me this film as a very young teenager.
editing this to add a postscript that i would love for this film to get a critical re-appraisal and second life as the great film it’s always been… and with your help etc etc
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mewsmagic · 5 months
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Alright I did say I’d bring my infodumps and fantheying here to tumblr instead so lemme actually do this for once!!
Spoiler warning for Alrecchino’s animated short!
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If you haven’t watched it yet, here’s the link!
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Alright first things first! It looks like Clervie and Bulle Fruit girl were Alrecchino’s closest friends/sisters, which’s just so cute 🥺
From the visual storytelling and just how we saw Arle and Clervie together much more often than with Bulle Fruit girl, it also appears like Clervie was much much closer to Arlecchino, which’s so interesting!!
I love how Arlecchino is all about blacks, whites and occasional reds, she was always quiet and doing her own thing, and SHE HAD ACTUAL SHORT HAIR UNTIL RECENTLY ACTUALLY!!!! Gnc nation won!!!!
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Anyway ahemmm LOL and Clervie was the opposite. A pink, outgoing girl, full of life and wonder for the world she lives in. Also, she was “girly” and wears dresses, while Arlecchino doesn’t seem fond of them (like me omggg)
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Like, they’re literally opposites in everything, yet they were so close and so important to each other. Thinking about what comes next hurts my heart like nothing else just because of this.
Another thing I wanna bring up before we move on is: in this part, we learn that Arle’s deal with the black hand is indeed some kind of curse. And that’s probably why she was able to tell Furina’s also cursed, she had experience with one since birth after all
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I LOVE THAT THEY HAD THEIR OWN PLUSHIES MADE IN THEIR IMAGE!!!! Arlecchino’s plushie is so cute!!! I wonder if she kept Clervie’s after all these years 🥺
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In this part we also learn that their “mother” usually “argues” with her daughters, and for some reason Clervie has quite some injuries. From this, it’s not hard to assume she’s literally beating them up, which’s nasty.
A full grown woman beating up literal kids who cannot defend themselves? As a survivor of parental abuse, I felt this so hard, and I hate that hag so fucking much already.
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This part I didn’t get at first, probably bc I didn’t pay attention to the beginning; when I watched it again, I caught it however. Their “mother” not only physically abused them but also made them battle each other to death.
Resulting in Arlecchino being the very one that killed Clervie, and potentially Bulle Fruit girl too.
Naturally, she was full of rage. I would be too, if I were in her shoes.
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And that’s why I love her battle against “mother”. I didn’t take many screenshots because it’s a fast moving scene, but “mother”’s dialogue seems to hint that she’s the kind of mother that pretends to be caring and gentle but is actually cruel and ruthless in her actions. Which’s tbh the worst kind of mother probably.
Another detail that caught my eye was that Arlecchino was no match for her without her curse. But as soon as she released and embraced her curse, she not only defeated her “mother”, she blew up the entire building. Which’s epic as hell and I love that for her LOL
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I find it interesting that Arlecchino was actually pretty close to becoming a criminal because of killing “mother”. Which’s so tragic when you think that she had already killed Fatui members before (Clervie and Bulle Fruit girl), but they weren’t ranked enough for it to be a big deal, like their deaths didn’t mean anything. But to Arlecchino they did… Aaaaanywayyyy.
For some reason I thought the Arlecchino title succession was much more automatic, like 1. Kill your parent 2. You’re now king. I think it’s because I’ve seen this in other shows before, but here she was taken to Snezhnaya to be judged by the Tsaritsa herself.
Luckily, the Tsaritsa not only pardoned her crimes but also promoted her to Arlecchino. Also I gotta say, her words… “My poor, mad, cursed Knave” hit me so hard. The Tsaritsa does seem to not be that cold and to empathize with her. Based of her tbh.
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And at the end, we see a seemingly orphan child. At first I thought this was Freminet, but he has a more yellowish tone of eye color, so maybe this is a random kid?
Anyway, the thing that matters here is that Arlecchino says that she’ll be his strict and unfeeling “father”, which immediately stood out to me against her “mother”’s “kind and caring” approach.
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Looks like she decided to be a “strict and unfeeling father” to not become like her own “mother”. This is so real of her tbh. I already knew the previous Knave was nasty, but with this animation it really hit home to me, as a survivor too.
I wanna pull her even more now LOL may all Arlecchino wanters become Arlecchino havers!!!!! I’m so excited!!!!
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sebastianshaw · 3 years
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Let's go wide and predictable... Tell me about the different WoD incarnations for Shaw. :>
OK SO First thing I am glad you are also a nerd for this so I don’t don’t to explain all these terms. Secondly wow I need to be better about tagging/organizing, I couldn’t find all the other posts on this I was SURE I wrote. SO HERE’S A BIG FAT POST, RIP YOUR EYES
VAMPIRE Lasombra: This is the clan I typically default to in answers for him AS YOU HAVE NOTICED. I mean, they’re dark aristocrats who are all about Social Darwinish, preying on the weak, and the strong reigning. They primarily enforce this subtly through political games, but they have NO PROBLEM throwing an elegant Potence-backed punch. While one would think that these proud predators demanding sniveling obedience---and one would, in a way, be right---they certainly don’t RESPECT it, and it can even induce violent rage in them. Fits Shaw to a T. Sure, the Catholicism/Church control and Spanish origins and attraction to the sea and Abyss mysticism aren’t for him, but hey, he fits the outlook of the Clan perfectly aside from the religious aspects, and no one fits EVERY stereotype of a clan anyway.  Most Lasombra are Sabbat, and he could be too, but he would be in it for personal power, not true belief in being the Sword of Caine. I can equally easily see him going antitribu for the political power and stability of the Camarilla.  My other choices for him are VENTURE which is pretty obvious, but also Gangrel, which sounds counterintuitive but I HAVE A REALLY GOOD ARGUEMENT FOR IT! WEREWOLF Shadow Lord. Total Shadow Lord for pretty much all the same reasons as Lasombra. Like just LOOK AT THIS QUOTE: “ The Shadow Lords are a fictional tribe of Garou (werewolves) in White Wolf Game Studio’s Werewolf: The Apocalypse role-playing game.   […]  The Shadow Lords’ lives are like a daily game of chess and a constant struggle for power […] Shadow Lords respect power and condemn weakness, any cub who’s not strong enough in their eyes is banished from the tribe [… ] None of the other tribes like them very much, or at all, but even the ones who hate them most don’t question their ability to get things done. […] perhaps the largest camp, the Lords of the Summit tend to be the stereotypical Shadow Lords - power-hungry, manipulative, ambitious, and arrogant. This by no means makes them less dangerous foes.” And like. . . .they focus on political and intellectual power FIRST, and that sort of character is typically physically weak. But as with the Lasombra, nope, the Shadow Lords had bodily power too; they’re described as looking more like over-muscled pit bulls in lupine form than wolves. So....yeah, that’s perfect. Because Shaw does fight “smart” first, he ideally never touches his opponent, but when he has to? BOY CAN HE PULVERIZE. So, Shadow Lord Shaw is a Homid, probably an Ahroun but maybe a Philodox, and he has a lot of Glass Walkers following him as well as fellow Shadow Lords; he finds great use in their technological talents and ability to adapt to an urban environment and OWN it (rather than just SURVIVE in its fringes like a Bone Gnawer, as he sees it) and they organize themselves in a corporate-like structure where he takes a natural lead.  While the Shadow Lords are stereotypically/traditionally Eastern European, they can be of any race today. Shaw’s dad is English, but since we never see his mom in canon, for this version I’m saying his mom was a great big Eastern European Shadow Lord, and that’s why he never knew her, because the Garou aren’t typically raising their own young. He’s just. . . .big brutal wolf boy. And has like a billion puppies/Kinfolk kids. I DREW HIM FERA Ok, so I picked a BUNCH of Fera for Shaw, and you know why? I could. Literally just because I could. I don’t have a DM to tell me no! I even picked extinct ones, BECAUSE I WANTED TO! Cat-wise, I like him as a Khan or a Khara. Are the Khara extinct? Yes. Do they really suit him, the way they’re described less as warriors and more just secret-gatherers? Not at all. I picked them because I just like the idea of him turning into a massive, massive black smilodon. Because I think it’s cool and I don’t have to respect canon here. He can be the last of the Khara and not fit them at all if I say so. And hey, he LOOKS like a prehistoric man already! As for the Khan. . . .of the extant Bastet, the Simba and Khan fit him best. And if I am being honest? The Simba probably are a better fit for him. And I’m fine with that. I’m fine with Shaw as a big ol werelion with a black mane. But I also just really, really like the Khan. And as I have made clear, I am running this show. So my first choice for him that isn’t a Shadow Lord, is a Khan. They’re most typically Indian, Chinese, or (due to breeding with colonizers in India) English, so he could be one of the English Khan, and hey, fighting the Wyrm gives him a good outlet for. . . himself. Their human forms are also typically tall and HUGE, upwards of 300 lbs, and they’ve sired some of the most beautiful kittens and powerful bloodlines. T “ The Simba may declare themselves nobility, but the weretigers fit the title. Regal hunters and warriors, these Bastet evoke the respect the lions demand. From the snowy mountains of Asia to the cities of India, the weretigers hunt the spawn of Asura and defend the last of their Kin. They’re solid, dependable, smart and strong. Their weaknesses, such as they are, come from being too trusting or too sure of themselves. Khan are straightforward and action-oriented, not clever schemers. Whatever a Khan does, he does full-tilt — fighting, romancing, hunting, studying, even contemplating. These Bastet throw themselves into all tasks with vigor and passion, and their bodies, in any form, bristle with vitality. Most Khan love company; though few of them can stand the presence of another of their kind for long, they often enjoy companions. And who would deny a tiger’s friendship? It’s said the Khan were brought forth to battle demons, and many of them take that charge literally. Vampires, Asura and fomori have few enemies more relentless than a tiger. Perhaps that’s why the Khan have been brought to the verge of extinction: They made too many of the wrong kind of enemies.” “ The tribe’s traditional cultures stress honor and obedience. The treachery of Nagda was worsened by the stain it put on the tigers’ pride. While solitary in nature, most Khan establish protectorates where they defend a given family or land against corruption. The fact that “defense” occasionally includes killing certain people doesn’t detract from the tribal purpose. The Kahn were created to war against demons. Those who court the darkness must die “ “ While many Khan tend to be bad-tempered and aggressive, others love company of all kinds (and are powerful enough to demand respect). “ So, is that ALL Shaw? No. He’d be a particularly nasty, scheming Khan, in fact, a little unusual for his breed. But that’s hardly unheard of. After all, the famous English Khan named Lord Clouster “had cobras for a heart; he tossed his own kuasha beneath the wheels of a train, fed his wife to a suttee fire by pretending to be dead, then killed his children when he found they did not carry the Changing Touch.” And another Khan, the Indian sultan Nagda, got into a feud with another Khan and “ taken over by his rage, the Sultan Nagda betrayed his race and used a tribal secret. During an eclipse, his assassins struck all over Asia, slaying nearly 100 Khan and many Kinfolk outright.” So, Khan can be bad too.  But not as bad as the Simba. “ “The Lords of Sunlight.” That’s what they call themselves. Like the blazing mane around the heads of their kings, werelions liken themselves to the sun. All things have a place and an order and rebels must be reminded of this fact. The real fact, of course, is that the other tribes dislike the lions; the Simba may call themselves “Lords of Sunlight,” but many other cats give them another name: “The Dark Kings,” an unflattering comparison to the Khan. The Simba aren’t villains; they’re magnificent lords, slayers of demons. Things are simply out of order. When the balance is  restored, when the humans know their place and the cities become graveyards, the lions will be proven right. The demons of the modern age can be traced to the end of the Impergium and the laxity of the Changing Breeds. The Simba mean to put things in order, and if that requires bloodshed, so be it. Warfare is the sport of kings” “ Werelions value strength and order. Despite their bloody reputation, Simba adore their loved ones, and watch their Kinolk closely. Children and kittens are raised within the pride and must constantly prove themselves to survive. “ “ Each pride has one Mtolo (“father”), or dominant male, and several Kirii (“wives”) and Anwana (“young hunters”). Small prides defer to larger ones, and may owe allegiance to a Chakuva (“High King”) like Black Tooth. “ So, Simba are very patriarchal, very hierarchal, and want to run everyone else and feel they’re entitled to do so by birthright,  and the more I talk the LESS it sounds like Shaw actually? Like don’t get me wrong, he’s proud and power-hungry AS YOU KNOW, but what sets him apart from Apocalypse or Magneto or Xavier is that Shaw has never sought to have mutantkind follow him. He has his own ideologies, but he has never sought to lead others or enforce it on them. So really, the Simba mentality of “we should be in charge because it’s us” DOESN’T work for him, nor does the idea of being entitled to do so, as Shaw’s “power first” mentality is all about EARNING your position, not deserving it automatically. It’s all very Fabian though! So I’ll leave that here as a bonus for you instead of going back and deleting it lol. yEAH HE’S A BAD KHAN, BASICALLY And his Pyrio, no matter what cat type he is, would be Night.  Each Bastet has a “Pyrio” meaning a classification of their general personality and what fields they’re likely to pursue and be talented in. “Like the Dark Father Cahlash, the favor of the Night indicates a sinister or hidden nature. Most Bastet with this Pryio tend to withdraw from others, concentrating on their own business unless interrupted. Although they might not be actively malignant, they have short tempers and quiet ways, and fiercely guard their privacy. Night Bastet prefer occupations such as assassin, scholar, scientist and dark mystic. In the wilderness, the Night cats are hidden hunters and man-eaters, with nasty dispositions and an eerie reputations. These are the cats whose deeds are told around campfires for years to come. If you’ve got a disposition toward the Night, activities that cause others discomfort, reinforce your private space or protect some valuable secret from outsiders can refresh your Willpower.” So yeah. Shaw is a night kitty.  Rats are not the type that fit him the MOST, but I drew him as a RATKIN WARRIOR anyway. Because rats. Also while I drew him as a Warrior, he could also be an Engineer or a Plague Lord (specifically sylphyllis; every Plague Lord contracts with a disease spirit and embodies its most horrific symptoms and I just love the idea of this hideous terrifying syph-ridden Shaw) And hey, he can get into the “culling humanity” and “survive so that you may breed” deal! Most wererats also have very little kindness towards the weak either, despite being the underdogs of the Fera themselves. Likewise, hyenas aren’t the breed that fit him the most but I kinda dig the idea of him as an Ajaba? Their role was choosers of the slain, tasked with culling the sick, dying, and unfit. They were called rainmakers because of the tears their task brought to others, and they did not spare even their own. Then, the Simba came to their lands, and enacted genocide against them. They left Africa and spread across the globe, now breeding indiscriminately to survive and can be any race. What holds them together now first isn’t any duty, but the desire to simply stay alive. And both those things---culling weakness, and being knocked off his pedestal and now forced to fight for scraps in the shadows to survive---seem fitting for Shaw. The philosophy is obviously what he’s always had, and the degraded position reflects where he currently is in canon. He’s not usually the underdog, but he is here---but doubtlessly a brutal one, the Fera equivalent of a gang leader, recruiting  Also they’re matriarchal and I kinda like the idea of him having to deal with that, as....that kind of fits too? Shaw was the only MAN of note in the Hellfire Club. All the other most iconic, powerful, threatening members were women, and Shaw’s never really had a chance (or tried to fuck with) any of them. He’s USED to being around a ton of badass ladies who are calling the shots, that’s just TUESDAY for him.   Finally---FINALLY-- I could see him as the odd human-born Rokea. A Great White, of course. Again, it was probably his mother who was the Fera, some monstrous creature who came on land and mated with his human father, only to spawn this boy while still out of the water. All Rokea are ugly in their human state, but Shaw looks better than most due to being born on land and as a human, and he is also able to move through---and thrive---in human society. Since he is seen as a Betweener---one of the Rokea who “betrays” the Sea by living on land instead---stepping into what should be his natural habitat is always risky for him, as other Rokea WILL kill Betweeners on sight. And the single-minded nature of sharks leaves little room for explaining oneself.  Oh did I say finally SURPRISE I HAVE ONE MORE. The peaceful, matchmaking, extinct Apis don’t really fit SHAW aT ALL, and they’re EXTINCT, but I love the idea of him turning into a HUGE BLACK BULL. So here’s my explanation. The deal with the Apis is that when their numbers reached the single digits, a last handful of young Apis called Last Hope went into the Deep Umbra and haven’t been seen since. The “hook” in the 20th anniversary Changing Breeds book for their return is that maybe they finally came out the Umbra and back to the physical world. My idea is that he and HAVEN are mebers of Last Hope who have re-emerged in modern times to bring back their kind---something that rests entirely on SHAW’S shoulders, since Haven’s womb was cursed by the Wyrm. So it’s up to him to just breed with as many women and cows as possible. So he’s got an excuse! And as for why he’s so un-Apis, my explanation is that the trauma of their species being wiped out and the time that was allowed to fester in them during their long sleep in the Deep Umbra, drove Haven and Shaw to two extremes of Apis behavior. Haven took on the gentle caretaker side to the extreme, becoming so pacifistic she can’t fight or defend herself. Shaw went the other end, becoming so enraged and resentful that he’s become more like a bloodthirsty predator himself.  Eventually, they both fall to madness after re-emerging, but in the opposite ways that everyone expect. It’s the sweet gentle Haven who ends up Frenzying other of control in a berserker rage, rampaging across the city in massive bovine form, causing untold death and destruction until she’s put down. . . .while the cruel violent Shaw falls to a “cow version of Harano” sinking into a depression so profound he goes catatonic up until Haven’s own loss of sanity, at which point he throws himself on her horn. The story ends with the last of the Apis truly dead, but with a new hope for the species living on in Shaw’s children, who are showing signs of being Kinfolk or Apis themselves.
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dweetwise · 4 years
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Picture with me. Mt Ormond Legion gets the map. They see what they think is a new cosmetic of like a fur coat. They go to taunt. An actual bear rears up and looks at them. Legion bolts and does not want to be injured by a grizzly. Lets survivors know from out of stabbing distance of the bear.
[bless u anon for feeding my dbd crack needs. you didn’t say which legion you wanted so have some rat boy frank!]
swearing ahead! also ooc but what else is new lol
Frank VS bear: ficlet/crack
Seeing the mist fade as he’s teleported into a trial, the familiar chilly mountain air seeps though Frank’s mask. He spins his knife and hums in content, glancing around at the grounds of the ski lodge he knows like the back of his hand.
“Fuck yeah, home advantage,” Frank grins to himself, starting the trek through the thin layer of snow towards the far side of the map where his annoying little survivor prey usually spawn.
He cuts through a jungle gym, slowing down once he spots something through the window. Is that a fucking fur jacket? Frank suppresses a snicker while imagining which of the survivor pricks the new outfit belongs to. Maybe bird boy wanted to look even more like a caveman? Or the sleazy gambler thought it’d go well with his trashy fucking sequin pants?
He doesn’t get any answers, as the person doesn’t seem to be moving, just crouching a ways off from the window trying to hide. He knows his heartbeat range is tiny, courtesy of the Doc’s teachings, so maybe the fucker has spine chill? Frank sidesteps the wall, walking backwards around the corner so as not to alert the skittish survivor.
“Hey fuckface, the 50′s called--” Frank taunts, finally turning around and raising his knife, ready to surprise the living shit out of--
Frank’s grin drops as he comes face to face with a fucking bear holy fucking shit! The bear growls before standing up on its hind legs and roaring--
Frank nearly shits his pants and scurries through the window in a frenzy, dropping his weapon while fumbling through the opening in a panic. He bolts out of the jungle gym, sprinting towards the other side of the map as fast as his legs will carry him.
His heart is pounding in his ears and he has no idea if the bear is following him. Frank braves a glance over his shoulder and-- “Shit!” --trips over some inconveniently placed rubble, landing flat on his face in the snow with his mask falling off from the impact and sliding away on the icy ground. Fuck! Fuck! Frank looks up, frantically trying to spot the animal chasing him, but ends up freezing from mortification instead.
Not even five feet to his side, three survivors are crouching beside a generator, having stopped dead in their repairs to stare at him with varying levels of disbelief. For a few painful seconds Frank just awkwardly stares back at the familiar faces of fellow Ormondian Jeff, that tired bitch, Quentin, and wannabe Oprah--Jane? The silence is uncomfortable as nobody moves a muscle, the only sound being the slow putter from the generator.
“AHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Quentin, the little shit, finally bursts out and actually doubles over from laughter beside the machine. Frank feels his rage flare up and fuck that bitch is getting stabbed-- “Hey kid, you alright?” Jeff offers and approaches Frank, extending a hand to help the other up. Frank snaps out of it and springs to his feet, reminded of the impending doom of the bear chasing him. “Bear! BEAR!!!” Frank yells, grabbing the bearded man by the shoulders and shaking him violently. “Stop insulting him, you homophobic piece of--” Jane starts angrily, forcefully yanking Frank off of the artist. “No you dumb bitch, an actual grizzly! It almost fucking ate me!” Frank explains in panic, slapping at the woman’s arm until she lets him go. “What the heck are you on about??” Jane demands, rubbing at her arm where Frank landed a decent punch. “He’s probably tripping,” Quentin deadpans, having recovered from his laughing fit and now back on the generator. “You know, on more than his own feet,” he adds, snickering. “Shut the fuck up Smith--” ”Where did you see the bear?” Jeff asks with a serious tone, placing a calming hand on Frank’s shoulder. Frank recoils away from the touch in disgust. ”On the other side of the lodge, near... I think by the snow cannon,” Frank explains, wracking his panicked brain for information. ”Would you show me?” Jeff asks. ”Hell no! I ain’t getting eaten!” Frank protests angrily. ”Like it'd want your skinny ass anyway,” Quentin quips. Frank whips around, ready to throw fists, when Jeff fucking touches him again ugh-- ”We’ll try to spot it from the lodge balcony where it’s safe,” Jeff explains, reassuring hand on Franks bicep and shooting a warning look Quentin’s way. ”Jeff why are you humoring him? Surely it’s a trap,” Jane demands, hands on her hips and giving Frank the stink eye. ”Can’t you see how scared he is?” Jeff argues. ”I’m not fucking scared--” Frank starts, blood boiling and face heating up in embarrassment. “You guys work on the gens on this side while we check it out,” Jeff again interrupts his tantrum, leading Frank to the lodge with a strong grip on his arm. Frank doesn’t protest (much), kind of glad to be rid of the two bitches by the gen.
He follows Jeff to the second floor of the lodge, and soon they’re looking around for the bear from the balcony. Frank spots it, almost at the exact same location as before, frantically pulling at Jeff’s sleeve and pointing at the animal.
“Holy shit,” Jeff says, astonished. “Why did the entity put a bear here?” “I don’t fucking know! What the fuck are we gonna do?? I can’t kill you or the bear, I dropped my knife earlier!" Frank rambles angrily. “I don’t think you’re supposed to kill anything,” Jeff says, thoughtful. “You know, there’s only three of us in the trial today.” Before Frank has an opportunity to demand what the fuck Jeff is on about, the man says something that makes his blood run cold: ”I think the bear is the killer. And you’re... a survivor.” “Bull-fucking-shit I’m a pussy survivor!” Frank protests angrily. “And even if I was--which I’m not... why?” “Entity parenting?” Jeff suggests. “It’s probably sick of you being a brat.” “I fucking hate you,” Frank says, giving his dirtiest glare. “The second I get my knife back--” “Sure kid,” Jeff says and has the audacity to smile. “Now let’s go find the others.”
They find Quentin and Jane on a different generator than before. Jeff explains the situation, causing Quentin to, predictably, burst out in laughter.
“It’s not fucking funny--” Frank hisses. “Oh my god I’m so done with this entity bullshit,” Jane sighs tiredly, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What am I even supposed to do!?” Frank demands, crossing his arms and staring at the trio with barely concealed hatred. “You’re supposed to help us out with wholesome magical teamwork!” Quentin beams, clearly getting off on his misery. “Or y’know, get mauled to death by the grizzly. Your choice.” “Quentin, stop picking a fight and show Frank how to fix the gen. Me and Jane will handle the ones that are closer to the bear,” Jeff decides. “Fuck no I ain’t staying with this cunt!” Frank exclaims, mortified. “Works for me,” Quentin shrugs, ignoring Frank and merely offering a wave as Jeff and Jane take off.
After Frank reluctantly listens to Quentin’s half-assed instructions and crouches down to touch the generator in disgust, the annoying teen thankfully shuts up. For a while Frank tries his best to stay focused on the machine, his leg jumping in pent-up energy as his thoughts flutter between the threat of the bear, his rage for the entity’s stunt, the uncertainty of what’s to come after this trial--
“Motherfucker!” Frank curses at the machine as it explodes under his hands. “You know,” Quentin says absently, not even acknowledging his failure. “You should ditch the fugly mask more often. Makes you almost tolerable to look at,” he challenges with a smirk. “Maybe you should have it, fuck knows you need it more with a mug like that,” Frank shoots back without missing a beat, ducking behind the generator to hide a grin. His foot stops twitching and he realizes it’s much easier to focus when he has someone to banter with.
Later, when the stupid generators are done and there’s no sign of the bear, they regroup with Jeff and Jane (ugh) in an already opened exit. Frank grimaces as Jeff tries to give him some cringy heartfelt compliment, before flipping Jane off when the woman tries to start an apology. Jane huffs in annoyance while Jeff merely chuckles, leading Jane into the exit, both of them disappearing into the void.
“I wonder what’s gonna happen once you get out,” Quentin muses, leaning against the gate panel and not seeming in any hurry to leave. “You think this was a one-off?” “I sure fucking hope so,” Frank mutters, not eager to repeat this dumb practical joke of the entity. “You didn’t actually do terrible today, rat boy,” Quentin quips with a grin. “Says the raccoon,” Frank mutters, turning away as he feels his neck heating up from a single half-assed compliment. Where’s his fucking mask when you need it?? “Eh, raccoons are kinda cute. I’ll take it,” Quentin says, thankfully ignoring his embarrassment. “More like stinky and a pain in the ass.” ”None of those are mutually exclusive,” Quentin jokes, before looking back into the snowy map in thought. “Going back for your mask still?” he asks, with barely concealed... worry? ”Nah, Susie’ll make another,” Frank remarks, ignoring the other’s sudden interest in his well-being. “Maybe you should do this more often,” Quentin says. “Get rid of the mask and, y’know, stabbing. Might even make some friends.” “I don’t need friends,” Frank scoffs. He has his Legion, why would he want to play family with the survivors?
Quentin--smirks?--which is definitely not the reaction Frank was anticipating. Frank suddenly realizes he’s been standing way too close to Quentin for acceptable bro-range and the other is looking at him with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Frank feels his face heat up and an insult dies on his tongue. Quentin opens his mouth to say something, but seems to notice something behind Frank as his eyes go comically wide.
“FUCK, THE BEAR!!” Quentin yells and Frank bearly has time to turn around to see the massive animal come barreling towards them before Quentin is pulling on his jacket, making them both stumble and nearly trip over each other as they fall into the safety of the exit gate threshold.
[is frank a) a bi disaster b) terrible at making friends or c) all of the above? also where do i sign to let jeff adopt legion]
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aw-eather · 4 years
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Heather Watched the Extended Threads.
As if I haven’t already had a bad morning, lets emotionally torture ourselves shall we. Here is my running commentary:
Under a read more cause it was 8 pages of notes. 
That Previously On just shows that the main point of this episode is to get Sam and Jack together so if y’all don’t think they’re together after this, I have some news for you.
Gucci Douchebag making an appearance in the Previously On is not my idea of fun
JACOB I MISS YOU I AM ALREDY CRYING GOD HELP ME
Alright the episode has started with KERRY JOHNSON LOVE OF MY LIFE
Sam, you can’t be jealous, you’re literally MARRYING ANOTHER MAN.
Lol Jack you moron as if Daniel would walk through the door right now.
Sam is glaring at you funny just fyi.
But he’s right, Daniel is just waiting for y’all to be nice about him.
Oma I would like to order a plate of fucks to give about Daniel’s story at this point
Teal’c of the Tau’ri is a cute title I love that man
Aww I feel so proud of Teal’c.
FUCK OFF PETE
JAAACOOOB
Pete is so cringy
Jacob let Jack call him Dad once.. Pete has to wait until after marriage.
This is awkward as fuck
Pete you are so insensitive,
Jacob hates him. Same honestly.
You can tell he hates him tho, he’s not hiding it. My partners mum did a better job and she’s homophobic.
Sam is SO NOT in love with this guy
Oma being cryptic, checks out
Anubis makes me wanna punch someone.
This episode is really just tying up loose threads (probably hence the title) but its nice to know Pete is considered a loose thread 😊
Teal’c having to decide between the Jaffa and the Tau’ri is sad
Agh the newspaper and Daniel finding out about plans is an aggravating storyline
“I’m gonna marry him” reads the same as “Dad, I am happy”. Honey who are you trying to convince??? We don’t believe you.
“I know how happy he makes you” *Cut to Sam who looks nonchalant* *cut to Jacob who knows exactly what he’s doing and what he’s doing is attempting to stop her marrying Gucci Doucebag*
Selmak isn’t alive to make that call Jacob stop lying
I’M GONNA CRY AGAIN
She is really thinking about this. Like she looks like she’s second guessing herself constantly.
KERRY
JACK
KERRY AND JACK
JACK AND KERRY
WAKING UP TOGETHER
OH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!
I love how soft and tender he is with her, I imagine he’d be the same with Sam.
I love how he cuddles her and kisses her and plays with her hair and that hand on her face I--- *insert heart eyes*
I just really love them so much I wish we got more of soft, boyfriend Jack
Trouble in Jaffa land lol
I think he did really like her though.
Anyway back to Half Ascended!Daniel
Oma ya shouldn’t have helped the first two times, that’s the fucking problem babe
I literally do not give a shit about Daniel, I’m sorry. I really try but I can’t
OH NO THE PHONE CALL SCENE
She is SO sick of Gucci Douchebag
I can’t believe he called her at WORK over FLOWERS
AND SAYING ITS URGENT FUCK SAKE
I love Peter in the back
Jack watching her
Jacob is playing matchmaker so hard I fucking love him
Sam’s face tho is sooooo funny LIKE DAD SHUT UP WE DON’T MENTION THIS IN FRONT OF MY CO
Oh the little sigh he does before telling her to go pick flowers I can’t handle that man, he’s so heartbroken its like a lost puppy
Jack smiles but his eyes say oh yeah, I lost her and she’s happy with someone else now. PLOT TWIST: she’s miserable
Sam looks hurt because she still loves Jack
FUCK ME IT HURTS THEY DESERVED MORE
Jacob don’t play dumb babe, we know what you’re trying to do
Oh she MAD MAD at Dad
Why is it ok to break some rules and not others, you ask? Because y’all are white and can get away with it?
Oma just stop helping people. You don’t need to help them, just stop. I don’t want to be an ascended being y’all suck
Chocolate or vanilla like go HOME WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE
Sam shaking her head no about getting blown up by aliens is so cute I love her so much
This feels like friends talking
Or like these two people I know who claim they’re in love but its always soooo awkward around them.
Generally speaking that’s my type like you haven’t had two alien boyfriends in the last 8 years babe
“I have a surprise for you” YOU BOUGHT A FUCKING HOUSE WITHOUT TELLING HER YOU CRETIN
THAT’S NOT A SURPRISE THAT’S CONTROLLING AND WEIRD
I hate that she looks happy. Don’t get me wrong I want her happy, I really do. And as much as I’m sure she loved Pete, she wasn’t in love with him. But I suppose she was happy for the first time with some one she could have… feelings are complicated, best not to have them honestly.
Jack has really long eyelashes. Just an observation.
That’s a lotta sugar, Danny boy. And Its not gonna make you any sweeter, I promise.
I love that he took the cup with him like he’s gonna drink it with THAT much sugar in it
Exposition, exposition, exposition.
Go away Anubis ya pain In the arse.
Oh the HOUSE
Have I said how much I hate that outfit cause I hate that outfit
It is a beautiful house to be fair but like…
Look at the PANIC in her eyes
I already have a problem with how they got engaged and the fact they stayed together after he STALKED HER.
Pete’s ability to control a situation and guilt trip her (literally he ran away and had her investigated by the FBI when she wouldn’t tell him about her work) reminds me of my ex. Which is probably why I hate him so damn much.
THE DECK SCENE
HER LOOKING AT HIS HOUSE
THE MUSIC
HE LOOKS GOOD IN DARK BLUE
I’M SORRY ITS ALL IN CAPS I’M TYPING AND WATCHING AND I’M SCREMING ON THE INSIDE DEAL WITH IT FAM I’M SORRY
THAT SMALL GRIN ON HIS FACE WHEN SHE SAYS SHE’S BEEN WORKING UP THE NERVE TO COME AND TALK TO HIM
TRUTH IS I’VE BEENTRYING TO WORK UP THE EVER FOR A LOT LONGER THAN THAT STOOP
ITS NOT GREAT JACK
YEAH BUT JACK HAS AN EVEN NCER HOSUE
SECOND THUGHTS
YES YOU ARE. GIANT MISTAKE INFACT
SHE’S REHEREDSE THIS SO MANY TIMES
KERRY FUCK OFFF NOW IS NOT THE TIME SWEETIE
THE BEER LOL
UES IT IS AWKKWARD
JACKS FACE OUCH
KERRY IS SO SWEET ASKING HER TO STAY FOR LUNCH
NO NOT DAD FUCK
Kerry caught him looking a little too long tbh
I’m not editing typos out of that btw it shows my rage
DAAAAAAD
JACOB YOU SWEET MAN
Oh sam honey I’m so sorry
I’m gonna cry again
FUCK OFF DANIEL JFC I literally do not give a shit
I only found out about Carmen’s death a couple months ago so I’m not gonna handle this well fam
Oh no
I’m typing and not looking again
Because Jacob is gonna tell her to go after Jack
I can’t breath
Six years ago
I’m not letting that go
It’s a continuity fuck up
Not that important but drives me nuts
No you’re not
He’s talking about jack
Come on sam he’s not dum
Everything you want is a house, a marriage and JACK
KERRY
LOVE OF MY LIFE
BREAKING UP WITH JACK FOR THE GREATER GOOD
I really like YOU Kerry
He’s so sad
He really liked Kerry
Retire please sir
Bye Kerry, I miss you already <3
If he told Sam he loved her right now she’d drop everything for him
He’s contemplating it
He’s confused but he’s thinking abut it because she’s stressed right now and ENGAGED but damn Kerry makes good points
More explanation and blah blah
Like if this was the main point of the story, there would be more talk of it outside of Daniel and we wouldn’t have just had 20 straight minutes if Sam and Jack pining over each other
Sorry can we talk about how PETE put a down payment on a house with OUT talking to her?? What if she didn’t like the neighbourhood?
Sorry I’m still mad about that
To be fair that green does look good on Daniel
Oma looks so proud
THEN STOP -B R E A K I N G- IT YOU GOOSE
Fuck sake woman
I’m so emotionally traumatised by this episode that I can’t remember half of what is added and half of whats in the 40 minute cut because I am repressing it lol. Obviously the scene with Kerry and the ones with Pete
NO JACOB
AND JACK BEING THERE FOR SAM
AND THEY MIGHT AS WELL HAVE SAID I LOVE YOU ALL OVER AGAIN
SORRY I NEED A TEN MINUTE BREAK TO CRY
OK I’m back
Sam looking at her like he wants to tell her he loves her breaks my tiny stone cold heart even more
He didn’t actually NEED to put his arm around her but they both actually really did need it
The way she rubs her thumb on his hand and leans into him I fucking can’t
AND MORE DANEIL FFS
Sorry I just feel like this was supposed to be the A plot, Dakara was the B plot and Sam/Jack was the C plot but it ended up Sam/Jack = A, Daniel and Anubis = B, Dakara = C
Took ya long enough to catch on, Danny boy
Good BYE PETE
You didn’t know shit from the beginning go home
That’s the same shade of blue Jack had on before… interesting
I mean it does have something to do with her father…
She will, babe, don’t stress
To be fair, to give him some credit, he took it like a champ
But also don’t be a creep ya know
Why does Sam’s jacket look awkward
She just looks awkward this entire sequence
INCOMING WORMHOLE
What, pray tell, is the point of the self destruct if it doesn’t blow up the gate? Isn’t that part of the point?
Daniel ya tit, that’s not gonna work
Fuck YEAH OMA
BEAT HIS FUCKING ASS
Now Daniel can come back to earth and be with Vala thanks
Literally the only time I like him is with Vala and then its with a push
This seems a little too convenient tbh
I know it was OMA but this episode just feels…. Disjointed
Ah but will you destroy it? Probably not knowing the Jaffa
I wonder if Sam and Jack have spoken by now. Clearly not the same day because different clothes.
I’d say two days since Dad?
Ack Naked!Daniel
Jack is so AWKWARD I LOVE HIM
SAM CAN’T LOOK AT HIM
BRA’TAC IS ENCOURAGING THIS BULL SHIT
F I S H I N G
I can believe it, Sam.
She’s leaning towards him
Aw that giggle
That look she gives him
They’re so happy
This was the perfect ending
It should have finished there
How much time passed between then and s9 I wonder
At least a month right because Sam had been away a month?
Well that was good.
Hurt my heart but it was good
Final notes:
Jacob and Janet deserved better
I want more Kerry
They should have stopped at s9
Sam and Jack are together now, TRY and convince me otherwise
I’m thinking of smutty fic ideas for the cabin please stop me
Thanks for coming along on that emotional roller coaster ride. Ended up being 9 pages of dot points so I’m sorry! But I feel like I’ve said my bit.
Oh one last thing
Fuck Pete 😊
51 notes · View notes
dylinski · 5 years
Text
Magnetism
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Warnings: SMUT! bondage (but barely), language, violence, kind of dom tommy (but y/n is a brat so it doesnt last long), angst (obviously)
Relationships: Thomas/Reader
Word Count: 7.5K
Author: @dylinski​
A/N: Here’s my fic for day 4 of tomuary!!!! if i get them finished, i plan on posting two more but we’ll see how that goes. lol hope ya’ll enjoy and let me know what you think please. i’m really unsure about writing smut and idk if this is any good, so if i shouldn’t write anymore it would be nice to know. lol
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There’s something about running for your life and fighting against all odds to survive that make a person reevaluate their life, but with Y/N, that’s not the case. Being in the scorch with a bunch of boys wasn’t much different from the glade, so what was there to consider? She knew who her friends and her enemies were and that’s all she needed to know in order to survive in this world. If Thomas had just listened to her when she said not to trust Teresa, more of them would be alive, but him not believing anything Y/N says is to be expected. Since the moment he came up and out of the box, something repellant between them switched on. The only proper way to describe it is when you try to force two poles of a magnet together with the same polar direction.
Fighting their way out of the maze, through the scorch, and now in this abandoned town lets a person see a lot of death and Y/N was tired of it. If that meant trying to convince Thomas that running around and attacking WCKD at random to find Minho, risking other’s lives, was a bad idea then she was willing to take all the blame. They were so close to paradise and they had saved so many souls already. At least Vince agreed, having one person on her side is nice.
There was another meeting, discussing all the usual topics, but Thomas seemed more pissed off than usual, which is saying something as of late. He’s been nothing but a pissy bitch since the search for his raven-haired friend had turned sour and unwilling. The meeting was held in a moderate-sized room, big enough to hold the handful of people permitted. Thomas was leaning on both hands over a table with Newt at his hip, what a surprise. They were combing over a map with Vince and Jorge, arguing about a last city or something. Y/N was sitting in the corner, rolling her eyes at practically every other word, a sad image of men and boys arguing over nonsense around the circular table. 
Newt would look up every once in a while and give her a sympathetic smile to let her know she wasn’t forgotten in the exchange of emotions and words. She liked Newt, he had always been kind to her when most of the other boys treated her like she was fragile and delicate in the maze. He never doubted her or underestimated her abilities despite what was between her legs, well, until that little shit popped up and out of the ground. Motherfucking Thomas, the angel, the savior, the one who will lead us to paradise. Yeah right, more like the one who will lead everyone to their preventable deaths.
“Look! He was there, okay? I know it. Minho was there!” The vein in Thomas’ neck was protruding and defined from the strain he was putting on his words. He was desperate. “We grabbed the wrong container!”
“Thomas, there was a 50/50 chance and we made a choice of which one to grab. Not to mention the odds of him being in either train car, to begin with, were small.” Vince was calm and collected, he always managed to keep a cool head.
“Yeah, but he was there! If I had just..” Thomas was quieter now, but no less desperate.
“You didn’t pick the wrong one, Mate. We saved at least 100 people from WCKD today. I wouldn’t call that a failure. We didn’t find Minho, but I have faith we will. He’s still out there, I know it.” Newt looked up at Y/N when he finished, and she couldn’t help to give a forced smile. Leave it to him to be the voice of reason, but also the one to egg on the bumbling buffoon everyone seems to eagerly place their faith in.
“Newt, I get that, but he was there, he was right there! If we hadn’t been so pressed for time I could have-”
Y/N jumped up, utterly pissed at this point and tired of hearing these idiots run round and round in the same circles. “You could have what, Thomas? You could have picked the ‘right’ container? Hmm? Why don’t you go tell that to Sonya? Or Aris? I’m sure they’d love to hear that you saving their lives, along with everyone else in that box, wasn’t your goal and you’d gladly trade them for the single life of Minho.”
Everyone in the room fell silent and it was filled with the light of the moon shining through the missing part of the ceiling. The flames from the lanterns danced on everyone’s shocked faces. Y/N was never one to prance around the daisies when it came to stating the obvious. Thomas looked almost ashamed and it was honestly annoying. She was tired of his pitiful ’I didn’t ask for this’ routine.
“You know that’s not what I meant.” Despite the guilt that raged in his stomach, he used it to fuel his anger towards Y/N, which was to be expected. He took most of his negative emotions out on her, his own personal punching bag, but he could never land any punches because she honestly couldn’t care less. She rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips, shooting knives at him and his nostrils flared under her eyes. An unknowing battle of spiteful gazes between them.
“Well, as entertaining as it is to watch you two practically have hate-sex with each other, we need to discuss our options.” Jorge obviously chose his words to jolt the two out of their staring contest and it worked. They both made faces like they had tasted something sour, scrunching their noses at the idea of actually wanting each other. Well, I mean, it’s not the first time Y/N had thought of it, but just because he had the body that could rival a god doesn’t mean she was ignorant of his pea-sized brain.
“There’s nothing to discuss. We’re not risking anyone’s lives to go to the last city, if it’s even real.” Y/N couldn’t help but sights the relief of Vince seeing reason.
“I’ve heard things over the years, that it was a last resort for WCKD, their place of operations. I’ve never managed to make it that far north, but it’s one of the safe heavens that were put into place when things went to shit.” Y/N huffed in annoyance, thanks, Jorge. Great job at giving the little shit ideas.
“Look, we could make it there with a small team in a week and then be back with Minho in no time.”
“No, Thomas. I’m not risking any more lives to save one person. This is a suicide mission. If it’s anything Jorge says it is, the city will be a fortress. Not to mention the road to get there, riddled with the infected. We don’t have the people or the resources to take on a fight like that.” Vince was tired of arguing with him, so he was standing his ground and that would be the end of it. Thomas may have been the leader in the glade and the scorch, but here he was allowed the privilege to have a say by Vince.
“I don’t need an army, just two or three-”
“Thomas, no!” Vince was done with these petty arguments and put his foot down. “The ship is almost done. We’ll be ready to sail in less than a week. There are casualties in war, and in this world, the life of one doesn’t out way the lives of the many. We’re not going and that’s final.”
Thomas grunted and threw his arms up in rebellion, stomping off to brood somewhere by himself. 
Y/N couldn’t help the small smile of satisfaction that crept onto her face from seeing him so pissed off. She strode over to where Newt was standing and crossed her arms, leaning her back against the table to face him.
“He’s hurting you know? He blames himself. He blames himself for everything honestly.” The smile melted away just as easily as it appeared. There goes Newt, always defending his puppy.
“He should! I told him not to trust Teresa!” Newt let a small shudder roll over his body at her name and Y/N couldn’t help but feel empathy and guilt for mentioning it.
“We all trusted her, except for you, of course. You never let us forget it, but we had no reason not to. She helped us, she helped Thomas. Maybe you were just jeal-”
“For the love of God, Newt, if you say I was jealous, I’ll break your other leg.” He chuckled at the threat, knowing it was empty and mostly a joke. It made her smile a bit, seeing him smile and laugh. He was always like a brother to her and she missed seeing him so happy. A lot of them haven’t been able to feel that way for a while now. Not since Thomas showed up and shucked it all up, anyway. 
“He understands why you hate him.” Y/N was caught off guard, lost in her own head when Newt broke through.
“I don’t hate him, I just…” There wasn’t really a word for it. It was like Thomas was made specifically to boil the blood in her veins and ignite a fire in her stomach that was begging to rage. He knew exactly how to get under her skin and press her buttons, and most of the time he wasn’t even trying.
“You two are a lot alike actually.” Newt let out a chuckle and ignored the hard stare directed at him. “You’re both stubborn as bulls, reckless too. Jumping into things without thinking clearly. You’re guided by emotion rather than logic, but there’s nothing wrong with that.” He turned his head to face his friend and curled up the corner of his lip. “Go get some sleep, we’ve all had a long day.” Newt patted her shoulder and limped off, leaving her alone in the room that now felt huge.
Y/N wasn’t really that tired, so she decided to go around to her favorite spot by the water that she found when they first arrived. The way the moonlight danced on the water in the darkness created the illusion of twinkling lights and reminded her of looking up into the sky in the glade. She hopped down from the ledge onto the sand and trotted through the thick and moist beach towards the large rock that always managed to be warm despite the sun. When it finally came into view, she halted in her tracks.
Of course, Thomas would fucking be there, laying on her rock in her secret spot. A low grumble resonates in her chest as she clenched her fist and stomped towards him. He heard and sat up hazily, having been lost in the limbo of sleep and consciousness.
“What? Who’s...oh. It’s you.” He laid back down, resting his head on his arms that were raised over his head.
“That’s my spot.” Y/N spoke through gritted teeth and clenched fists, trying not to punch him.
He lifted his head slightly and opened one eye, looking Y/N over and then let his head fall back down. “I don’t see your name on it.”
Y/N’s jaw went slack as she let out a small whine of protest, which seemed to put a shit-eating grin on Thomas’ face. Despite being pissed as hell, she couldn’t deny that his smile, with the crescent eyes and the way the moon illuminated his face, was...beautiful. No. No no no no. She’s mad and he’s an annoying little shit that gets everybody hurt or killed. Okay, good. She couldn’t stand the thought of actually being attracted to him.
“You know, Newt says-” Thomas was cut off by her.
“Newt says a lot of things.” Despite being so close to him, Y/N still couldn’t help but feel the rise of annoyance as she rolled her eyes.
Thomas sat up on his elbows and looked over at Y/N. The way he looked at her, and the light of the night with the waves crashing, for some reason it made her feel vulnerable. She moved her arms that were crossed on her chest down to wrap around her stomach. Thomas tilted his head in the most quizzical of ways like he was trying to decipher her. She was a puzzle he couldn’t quite solve, but so terribly wanted to. 
Tired of being gawked at, Y/N took the few steps between them and leaned against the large boulder, her back mostly facing Thomas. She looked up to the sky that was mostly black and empty and let out a sad sigh. She missed the stars, but since they left the maze they seemed to have all died out.
“I know, I miss them too.” Y/N shot a look over her shoulder at Thomas who was looking up. She couldn’t help but linger her gaze on him, he looked so...broken. He must have felt her stare because the muscles in his arms flexed under his weight as he shifted uncomfortably. His jaw clenched, but he still kept looking up, searching for something they both knew he’d never find.
“Why do you want to save Minho so bad?” He broke his lock on the sky and looked at her like it was the stupidest of questions, which it was. “I mean, I know why, but he’s probably dead. We haven’t heard anything about him in months and-”
“He’s alive.” Thomas laid himself back down flat against the rock. “I know it, I can feel it in my gut.” He spoke like it was the truth, something factual rather than the simple feeling that it really was.
“Yeah, but what if he’s not? Are you willing to risk our lives, your life, for someone who may not even be alive?”
He sat up fully and his eyes were dark and full of emotions she couldn’t quite decode. His posture changed to confidence and purpose. “Minho would do it for me.” He looked out to the ocean and crossed his legs, letting his elbows rest on them, placing his cheeks between his hands.
Y/N couldn’t argue with him there. She had known Minho longer than Thomas, and if there was one thing he’d never do, it would be leaving a friend behind. Thomas scooted over and patted the hard surface next to him. She examined the spot and looked up to him, questioningly. He gave her a small smile and she climbed up next to him. There was silence between them, not having much to say, as they shared the space and took in the sea and its illusion of stars.
“I’m going,” Thomas spoke softly as he continued to stare out at the water. They could hear the waves lapping against the stone as his words echoed. Y/N wasn’t entirely sure what he meant. Was he going now? Going to sleep? He looked up and his lips turned down, eyes full of sadness and it hit her. He was going to the last city, alone.
“What!? You can't go! Did you not hear Vince? It’s a suicide mission!” Y/N surprised both of them at her exasperation to get Thomas to stay. I mean, sure she didn’t like the guy, but it’s not like she wanted him dead.
He looked at her and pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. “I don’t care. I have to at least try.” The look in his eyes was pitiful and unrelenting. The decision was made, and once he made his mind up on something, there was no use arguing with him.
“If you want to die, that’s fine, I won’t be a part of it.” Y/N hopped down from the rock and started to walk away hurriedly. “But I’m telling Vince.” 
Thomas’ eyes grew wide and he jumped from the rock and chased after her. “No! You can't say anything!” He grabbed her arm and she reactively spun around, landing a solid punch in his gut. Thomas grabbed his stomach and took a step back, grunting in pain. She rolled her eyes and turned to continue walking when Thomas ran up behind her and tackled her to the ground.
“What the fuck, Thomas!?” She struggled but managed to spin around, her back to the sand and Thomas hovering over top her, caging her in with his arms as they held her wrists down over her head.
“I can't let you tell anyone before I leave!” His hot breaths were huffing into her face, a contrast to the cold breeze that had chilled the air.
Y/N looked up at him in frustration and confusion, but mostly at herself. Her eyes flitted down to his lips for the slightest of seconds, but she had to throw those thoughts from her mind. Sorry, Thomas. She slammed her head up into the boy’s nose and he let out a shout as he flew back, grabbing his face and releasing his grip on her arms. She wiggled out from under him and stood up to keep going, but a hand wrapped around her ankle and she face-planted into the hard earth and let out a groan, rubbing the sore spot on her head.
Thomas climbed up on top of her, straddling her waist from behind. He held her wrists to her side this time, avoiding the possibility of her bucking her head back and hitting him in the face again. She writhed underneath him and fought as best she could, but he was stronger than her. It didn’t help that he had the advantage either.
“Are you jacked!? Let me go you little shuckface!” She let out screeches and shouts as she struggled, but it was no use. She gave up and relaxed under him. “Well, you can't hold me down forever! What’s your plan here slinthead?”
Thomas didn’t reply, obviously trying to make this shit up as he went along. He pinned her arms behind her back and stood up, making a grunting noise as he pulled her up with him. “Oh, now he’s the quiet brooding type. Couldn’t get you to shut up for the life of me in the glade, but now you got nothing to say?”
“Shut up.” He grunted through his teeth as he pushed Y/N forward a bit, jerking her around as they walked. He still had her arm pinned behind her back and it was getting kind of painful now.
“Where are you taking me? Are you gonna kill me? Didn’t think you’d have the balls. Well, actually with all the people you’ve killed over the last year, it probably won’t be that hard.” Thomas threw Y/N up against the wall of one of the buildings as they passed through the camp and her head bounced off, now throbbing in two places. She slammed her eyes shut and grabbed the back of her skull as Thomas slammed his hands into the wall on either side of her face. His body was pressing into hers and she could feel every muscle tense as he gritted his teeth and flared his nostrils.
Their faces were inches apart as he growled at her. “I’m getting fucking tired of you reminding me how many mistakes I’ve made!” She has seen him angry like this before, and it was intense, but to have it directed at her, if she was less of a stubborn mule, she probably would have klunked her pants. Thomas was like a raging sea when he was truly angry, everything in his path swallowed up and demolished. He had so much anger, so much hate towards WCKD and himself that when he reached a tipping point it would all spill out like an erupting volcano, and Y/N just happened to be in his path.
“You walk around, talking shit about me to everyone and I can’t take it anymore! You think I don’t carry those people with me, that I don’t know the lives I’ve cost!? I didn’t want any of this! I never asked for it. I didn’t want to be the leader! That’s Minho’s job, but for some God-forsaken reason, everyone but you thinks I’m some savior. I just want to save my friends! I just want to get as far from WCKD and this fucking place as I can! The last thing I need is you reminding me how royally I’ve screwed up every five seconds!” He pulled her off the wall, she was mostly shell shocked from his burst of fury. He gripped her bicep tight enough to leave a bruise as he guided her further through the camp. “But first, I’m getting Minho.”
They traveled the rest of the way in silence which was preferred by Thomas since he was trying not to wake up anyone anyways. They made it to the small building that Thomas had claimed as his own and he shut the door behind them. He pushed Y/N down forcefully on his excuse for a bed and she sat there, still and silent. Thomas paced and ran his fingers through his hair as his mind raced a million miles a minute.
Y/N gulped and wasn’t entirely sure what to say to keep him from exploding again. It wasn’t that she feared he would hurt her, she knew he wouldn’t, but she feared to see him like this. Seeing him like a rabid dog biting at the ankles of anyone who caught his eye. Thomas grabbed a shirt from the floor and ripped off a piece and grabbed her arm, pulling her up the bed.
“Are you serious? You’re tying me up?” Thomas glared at her and then proceeded to tie her wrist to the post of the bed. “Kinky.” Her words were meant to antagonize him, and it worked as he visibly clenched his jaw in vexation. He got up and started to walk around the room when Y/N cleared her throat and waved her hand at Thomas. “Well you’re not very bright, are you?” He looked at her with bewilderment and she rolled her eyes. “My other hand. What’s to stop me from untying your sad excuse for a knot?” Thomas growled under his breath, mostly at himself for not thinking about that possibility. He ripped off another strip of cloth and tied her other wrist to the opposite bedpost.
She wasn’t entirely sure why she was helping him, but she was starting to find this entertaining. Seeing him sputter around in an attempt to get himself killed and digging himself into a deeper hole. Y/N watched him with enjoyment as she crossed her ankles and relaxed against the headboard. He was scurrying around the room like a squirrel, trying to find things and stuffing them into a bag.
“So you’re just gonna leave me tied up when you leave until someone finds me, huh?” Thomas looked over his shoulder and huffed as he continued to rummage through his belongings. “Don’t forget your jacket, might get a little chilly.” He stood up from where he was squatting and threw his bag down hard on the ground and curled in his lips with impatience.
“Keep talking and I’ll gag you!” 
“Ooo, promise?” Thomas shot daggers as he glinted his eyes and growled. Y/N just smiled and wiggled her head in triumph. “If you wanted to get me into bed, all you had to do was ask.” Thomas rolled his eyes and turned to keep packing. She was getting bored of the silence and made an attempt to rile him up again.
 “Some of the boys in the glade used to talk, you know?” Thomas ignored her as she rambled on. “Apparently you weren’t very quiet when you used to, you know?” Thomas turned to her with curiosity. Since her hands were, tied she couldn’t make the motion, so she thrust her hips up twice, but he got the idea. His eyes went wide and he froze in place. Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at his discomfort. “I overheard Jeff telling Zart about how they accidentally saw you in the woods rubbing one out and when you came you said my na-”
“SHUT UP!” Thomas grabbed what was left of the shirt from the end of the bed and shoved it into Y/N’s mouth. She just laughed through the fabric, her enjoyment muted. His cheeks were so pink that they looked like they were hot to the touch and it was almost adorable how flustered and embarrassed he looked. He was sitting on the side of the bed, his back mostly facing Y/N and his head hanging low in shame.
Finally, his cheeks turned from pink to red and he looked to her as he stood. “Well, what do you expect with you prancing around the glade in those short shorts and spaghetti-strap shirts!?” Y/N’s face went from amused to resentful. She tried defending herself through the cloth but all that came out was stifled noise. Thomas threw his arms up and huffed in annoyance, then grabbed the shirt from her mouth.
“I said, you fucking misogynist, that it was fucking hot out while I was working, unlike you who avoided his duties like the plague! Besides, how is it fair for you to fucking say shit like that about me when you paraded yourself around in those pants that clung to your ass while you were shirtless? Do you think I liked staring at your abs as sweat rolled down them?” Both of them were stunned into silence, Y/N realizing what she said and Thomas just amazed that she even thought about him like that. 
They both stared at each other, Y/N turning flushed and Thomas trying to hold back his smile. “Shut up!” She pushed her leg out to the side as she kicked him as hard as she could in the leg. He shouted at the impact and bent over to grab the spot that now throbbed.
“You’re such a violent little shit!” He hollered at her, referring to their brawl earlier.
“Yeah? Imagine me in bed.” Her words were sultry and aimed at being intimidating, but Thomas just smiled the most devilish grin. 
“I already have.”
Y/N rolled her eyes and blushed as she turned her head against her shoulder in the opposite direction of Thomas in protest. After a moment she looked back since he was so quiet and he was still standing there, looking at her with hunger and gnawing on his bottom lip. She narrowed her eyes and couldn’t help but look down and noticed the bulge in his pants. Her eyes went wide and she gasped as she went to kick him again. He yelped and swatted her foot away. “What the fuck, Thomas?”
“What!? You’re the one who said to imagine you in bed!”
“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re such a whore!” Thomas had a smile of amusement at being called a whore like it was a funny joke. Y/N just huffed and turned her eyes up in annoyance. 
“C’mon, you haven’t thought about me?” Thomas sat on the edge of the bed, keeping distance between them in case she wanted to kick or headbutt him again.
“God no!” Her words were firm and strong, but she was betrayed by her face. His lips went dry at the lie and she licked them unknowingly as her eyes darted to his. She blushed and looked away quickly to avoid any further incrimination, but Thomas grabbed her chin and turned her back to face him. His face was so close to hers now, them only needing to whisper to communicate.
“Tell me, what did you imagine? Do you think about my thick cock while you had your fingers inside yourself?” She shuddered at his words and her mouth was like a desert, begging for water. Her lips were parted and she couldn’t gain control of her tongue as she searched his eyes, full of need and hidden desire. He licked her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue and a chill coursed through her. He pulled away and her face followed, but was she restrained by the ties on her wrists. She let out a small whine at the loss of his mouth. Thomas bit his lip and chuckled. “If that’s how your lips taste, I bet the rest of you tastes just as amazing.” His hand rested on her bare calf and trailed its way up her leg until it reached her thigh where the hem of her shorts began.
Her hot, panting breaths were mixed with his, their lips nearly touching. She wanted desperately to close the minuscule distance between them, but couldn’t make her body move, frozen under his touch. Thomas went in, but just before their lips connected he tilted his head and collided his mouth with her neck. She let out a gasp at the sudden feeling of his warm lips against her chilled flesh. He kissed and sucked at the spot just below her jaw as she leaned back, giving him more access. He worked his way down to the pulse in her neck and bit down, then licked over it to alleviate the red marks. The mix of pain and pleasure, hot and cold, had her rubbing her thighs together in search of friction. Y/N let out a small moan into Thomas’s ear and his hand made its way further up her leg. He continued to lick and nip at her neck, leaving marks and right before his hand reached her core he pulled away.
Y/N let out a whine of protest at the loss of his warmth as he stood up and started to walk away. She was finally able to find her voice, but just barely. She croaked out in a pant, “You can’t just do that.”
“Can’t I?” A smile crossed his lips and the asshole had the nerve to wink. She pouted and huffed in retaliation and Thomas was now standing at the end of the bed, his legs touching the mattress, directly vertical to her. “I’m not going to just give you what you want. You have to work for it, Princess.” Y/N’s eyes went wide, seeing him like this, so domineering. The last thing she ever expected was for him to be authoritative in bed, let alone letting herself be subdued by him.
Thomas was such an arrogant little shit, he got into crevices that she didn’t even know she had. Working his way through her walls and made her squirm. She tugged at the cloth around her wrists, digging into her flesh and creating a pleasurable sting, wishing she could jump on him. She’s not entirely sure if her desire is to jump his bones or beat his ass though. He laughs and leans over her feet, placing his hands on the mattress. “Come on, baby girl, beg.” He took his time saying the last word, allowing the ‘g’ to bounce off his tongue.
“I don’t fucking beg!” Y/N spit at Thomas and the wet hit his chin. He grinned and stood up as he wiped it from his face with his finger, then placed it in his mouth. He sucked on it and let it out with a pop. Even if her tongue wouldn’t beg, her eyes sure did. “Fucking Christ…” she mumbled under her breath, but he still heard and chuckled.
Thomas places his hands on her ankles and slowly slid them up the length of her legs, maintaining eye contact. He placed his knees on the bed and was straddling the lower part of her body. When his fingers reached the waist of her pants, he curled his fingers into the band and looked her in the eyes. His digits against her flesh were thrilling and like fire coursing to her core. He searched her eyes for protest, but Y/N bit her lip and gave him the slightest nod. He smirked and looked down as he dragged the clothing off her hips. The tug pulled her down slightly, now resting on her tailbone instead of her ass. He pulled her shorts all the way off with her shoes and let them drop to the floor.
Y/N crossed her legs, feeling vulnerable, but Thomas leaned in and forced them apart by her knees. She dragged her legs up, placing her feet flat on the bed as Thomas’ fingers trailed up her thighs, leaving a trail of fire. He leaned down, his heat breaths against the inside of her legs. He kissed and licked at the warm skin and left bruising marks as he sucked into it. His mouth made its way up painfully slow to her sex when he blew cold air across it. A shiver radiated up her spine and left her feeling dizzy at the mix of everything.
Thomas kept licking and sucking everywhere around her core, the place where she so desperately wanted him to be. Her hips bucked up uncontrollably whenever he got agonizingly close, but he would always move away. “Thomas..” His name was breathy and needy, a plea for him to stop being such a tease. He moaned at the sound of his name on her lips and it reverberated through her skin as he continued to kiss and she felt it in her core. The stimulation causing her to whine. 
“Tell me what you want, Princess.” His words vibrated against her flesh as he refused to release his lips. 
Y/N let out a couple hearty breaths when she finally panted out, “Fuck me with your tongue, you prick!”
Thomas dove into her core without hesitation and the sound that came from her was somewhere between a screech and a gasp. His tongue lapped up around her entrance, licking up all the wetness he caused. He hummed at the taste and it sent shivers through her body and down to her toes. “God, you’re so fucking wet.” He licked a stripe up to her clit and clamped his lips around the nub as he sucked hard. The pressure around it was inciting, but then he started to flick his tongue across the bundle of nerves. The two sensations mixing together sent a warm thrill down to her bones as her back arched up slightly. 
The noises coming from Y/N were a mix of moans and gasps as his tongue worked on her fervently. He let go of her clit and replaced it with the pad of his finger, rubbing circles into it. He traced the ring of her entrance with the tip of his tongue until her hips bucked up and he penetrated, just like she had said she wanted him to. He thrust his tongue in and out, drinking up the dampness she was producing for him. “So wet. Taste’s so good.” The words vibrated through her core and a deep long moan was released. 
“Fi..fingers.” She struggled to get the word out, but Thomas knew what she needed. He placed his mouth around her nub again, sucking and flicking while his finger traced the place his tongue had been. He looked up at her through his eyelashes and watched as she writhed under his torment. She looked down at him and whined, so he gave in and pushed a finger inside her. He slowly pumped it in and out as she let out soundless gasps. He wiggled his finger, stretching her out and slid a second one in. He pumped as he sucked at her clit and her moans were constant now. Her body, unable to keep still, was beyond her control and fully reacting to everything that Thomas was doing.
He scissored his digits, widening her for his cock. “Are you gonna come on my fingers, baby?”
“Mhmmm” That was all Y/N could manage with all the sensations she was feeling. That fire building in her stomach was overflowing and begging to spill out. She was such a wreck that she felt like she was being torn apart. Thomas curled his fingers and pumped them vigorously as he kept his mouth to her bundle of nerves and hit that spot that triggered everything. His digits brushed across it once, twice, three times, and then the coil broke.
Thomas watched as Y/N let out a silent scream and threw her head back. He smiled at his victory and hummed around her clit, causing her body to spasm through her orgasm. He licked around his fingers, taking in all she had to offer. Pulling his fingers from her, she went limp on the bed, panting with her eyes shut and her wrists red from tugging at the ties around them. He licked his digits, eating up everything he could and couldn’t help but be smug at how well he unraveled her. “Oh, I’m not done with you yet babygirl. If I made you come that good on my fingers, I can’t wait to see you on my cock.” 
Thomas started to rub the all too obvious tenting in his pants and Y/N opened her eyes, panting, and looked at him in awe. He pulled off his shirt and, dear God those abs and his chest. He wasn’t chiseled or defined, but you could still see the muscles easily. There was a patch of hair between his pecs that spread down and across to his nipples that were hard pebbles. Y/N licked her lips as she thought about running her tongue across them. Her eyes found the thick brush of hair just below his belly button that led down to the band of his pants that hung low on his hips, showing off the ‘v’ that disappeared into his waistband. 
Y/N gulped as she rubbed her thighs together, becoming aroused again just by the sight of the man. He reached a hand down his pants and started rubbing, as she poked his legs with her foot. “Take. Them. Off.” Thomas smiled and did as he was told. His pants fell around his ankles as he stepped out, kicking off his boots. He pumped his cock, the flesh around his swollen head begging to be tasted.
He crawled onto the bed, his heavy dick hanging between his legs as he hovered over Y/N. She was licking her lips so much they were bound to become chapped. He laid his body on top of her, his cock resting against her pelvis. He reached a hand under her top, pulling the hem up to reveal her breast. The rough pad of his thumb brushed over the sensitive and raised peak, making her close her eyes. She let out a hot breath and Thomas took advantage of her open mouth. He plunged his tongue between her lips and swirled it around, filling her with her own taste.
Their lips smacked against each other, creating a dance of tongues filled with moans and whines. Thomas released her mouth and trailed suckling kisses across her jaw and down her neck until he reached her nipple. He took it into his mouth and thrust his hips forward, rubbing his shaft against Y/N’s all too sensitive clit. She shuddered and met his hips as she bucked up against him. He let out a deep groan at the friction he’d been craving so frustratingly and lightly bit down on the flesh next to her nipple in response.
“Untie. Me. Now.” Y/N huffed, trying to keep herself coherent enough to speak.
“Not yet.” Thomas purred into her ear and licked a long stripe from her jaw up to behind her ear that left chills on her skin as the cold air hit the wetness. She grunted in revolt at not being untied but was distracted as Thomas thrust his hips up again and she let out a hitched breath. He zoned in his focus on her nipple, sucking and nibbling until Y/N was writhing beneath him.
Thomas started to kiss her passionately in a chaos of lips, teeth, tongues, and saliva as he lifted his hand not preoccupied with her nipple to untie the fabric around her left wrist. She pulled her arm away at the freedom and immediately wove her fingers through his hair. He gave her other nipple equal attention when he switched hands to release her other wrist. It went for his ass without hesitation. She drew her leg up over his thigh as her fingers dig into the flesh on his behind. He moaned into her mouth at the feeling of her touch, not realizing how sorely he needed it.
His hips bucked up against her core rhythmically now as they deepened their kiss in a flutter of groping and tugging of flesh. “Fuck me.” Y/N spoke into his mouth and Thomas growled in response. He leaned up, pulled her shirt over her head and lined his cock up with her cunt. His head and shaft were already slick with her wetness from gliding across her core. He pressed the tip against the entrance and slowly pushed the head in. Y/N let out a moan as she felt him move deeper inside her, inch by agonizing inch. Halfway, he easily slid in until he bottomed out.
He kept still, taking in her heat around him and allowing her to adjust to his size. She whined when he was still for too long and the look in her eyes was all the answer he needed. He hiked her leg over his hip for a better angle and slowly pulled out until she was almost empty. He slowly pushed back in until their pelvis’ met again. He repeated this excruciating movement until she couldn’t take it anymore. She gripped the back of his head, intertwining her fingers in his hair and pulled his face to her. She kissed him hard and pulled on his lip with her teeth letting it bounce back with a plop. He let out a rumble in his chest and thrust into her hard. A small yelp escaped her chest and she dug her other hand into his shoulder. “Fuck.”
Thomas pulled out slow again, but rammed into her hard. He did this a few more times until he couldn’t take it anymore himself. He started to quicken his pace and Y/N’s head fell back as she clung to him. Her moans and grunts unrelenting, littered with profanities and his name, egging him on. “Oh fuck.” She forced out her words with each breath as he pushed into her like there was no room for them with him inside.
“Fuck, baby girl. You feel so fucking good.” Thomas let his head fall into the crevice of her neck as he pulled her other leg over his hip, the heels of her feet digging into the bottom of his ass. He mercilessly thrust into her, over and over, moving the bed along with them and they were both practically screaming now. “Christ, princess you’re so tight.”
Y/N couldn’t answer, her mind too wired and out of control, just like her body. She let out noises she couldn’t decipher and felt that heat in her abdomen start to boil like a hot white flame. They were both covered in sheens of sweat, and she watched as a bead dripped down Thomas’ temple. The vein in his neck was defined and strained, pulsing visibly. “I’m so fucking close.”
Thomas reached down between them and started to vigorously rub circles on her clit, he shifted his pelvis and with his next thrust hit her g-spot perfectly. “Holy..” She gasped out as the build-up reached its peak, the split moment of feeling lighter than air, her stomach jumping. “FUCK.” Her dams burst and she let out a long and gruff breath, exhaling hard as she came around his thick cock, her eyes and head rolling back.
Thomas could feel her clenching around him and the hot pressure sent him over the edge as he came inside her, letting hot spurts coat her walls. He took his fingers from her clit and wrapped his hand around the base of his cock as he milked out every last bit of his orgasm into Y/N. He collapsed down onto her, their bodies a mess of sweat, saliva, and come. They both panted and sighed as they let their bodies catch up to the moment, exhausted from what just happened.
Thomas got up and grabbed a cloth, dousing it in water, then cleaning up the mixture of come from Y/N. He cleaned off his limp cock and let it drop to hang between his thighs. He laid back down in the bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her as she curled up next to him. He reached over and played with the ends of her hair, examining her face. “I’m still leaving, you know.”
Y/N laid flat on her back and sighed. “I know.” She turned back into his side and looked up from his chest. “Let’s go get Minho, together.”
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shima-draws · 5 years
Note
Remember that one episode in Gravity Falls where Stan loses a bet to Mabel and does that stan-wrong-dance?? Can you write a drabble where Ford finds the footage pls the imagery is so freaking funny lmao
[[Send me a fandom/ship/prompt and I’ll write a drabble for it!]]
I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT I FINALLY FINISHED…I had a total blast writing it tho!!
I kinda took your prompt and went way beyond the original concept anjsakbnda so there’s some angst in here because Stan’s a self-sacrificial idiot and Ford almost loses his shit, but I hope you like it nonetheless :’)
Also this ended up being nearly 4k words so. Yeah. That’s why it took so long LOL but hopefully you got more than what you asked for!
This is also on Archive, if you’d rather read it there!
——————————————————–
Ford is absolutely furious.
Now, he’s no stranger to anger, having fallen victim to it many, many times throughout his life. His bouts of rage usually result in catastrophe if he isn’t careful. A prime example: letting Stan get kicked out of the house forty years ago. Or, when his irritation caused a fight between them that ended up in Stan’s permanently scarred shoulder and his own thirty year trip into the multiverse. It’s never simple and it usually doesn’t end well, especially if Stan happens to be on the other side of the argument.
This time, however, is a bit different.
It’s one thing if his brother has done something to piss him off. It’s another if Stanley does something so unbelievably stupid it scares the absolute shit out of Ford. He doesn’t like being angry. He doesn’t like being angry as a result of him being terrified even more.
And so, he’s taken to pacing in his study, trying to let off some steam. He’d separated himself from Stan after lecturing at him for twenty-five minutes about the very many reasons why Stan shouldn’t have charged right into battle against a particularly violent group of bullasps (an enormous wasp-bull anomaly hybrid, helpfully named by Mabel). Stan had come this close to being pierced by one of their enormous stingers—and if he had, well. The venom they secrete works so quickly Ford doubts he would have been able to do anything about it in time. And that is what had triggered his hysteria.
Mabel sits on one of the oversized chairs in the room, munching on a bag of popcorn. She’d followed him after his frustration had shot through the ceiling, needing to get away before he said anything he’d come to regret. Dipper had stayed behind to admonish Stan further, but not as harshly as Ford originally had.
It’s been almost a year since Ford and Stan left Gravity Falls to travel the world together. They’ve had plenty of arguments and heated late night discussions on board the Stan O’ War II, but they’d never escalated to this level. The two of them hashed out all of their past history and mistakes, and they’ve been attached at the hip ever since—but Stanley’s always had a bit of a reckless steak, and Ford will never admit it, but he’s unbelievably overprotective of his twin, especially after the whole shooting-him-with-a-memory-gun thing. (They try not to talk about that, much, mostly because it makes Ford feel so guilty it brings him to tears, and Stan hates seeing him like that.) This sort of takes the cake for every previous situation where Stan has willingly put himself in danger on their journey out at sea. Ford can’t remember the last time he’s felt so high strung.
“I just can’t believe him,” Ford hisses, his fingers tangled in his hair. His heart is still pounding, fear spiking through his veins and making him as taught as a bowstring. “Out of all the reckless, most monumentally moronic—”
“I know you’re upset, Grunkle Ford, but we took care of it!” Mabel points out, trying to be helpful. She does sound worried, though, if her expression has anything to say about it. “Those things ran right off after I used that cannon to shoot that t-shirt into the woods! Who knew bullasps are actually attracted to red things? I thought regular bulls hated the color red!”
Ford can’t help but smile a bit at her observation. “Actually, regular bulls are red-green colorblind, Mabel. It’s not that they particularly dislike the color red, it’s the action of a matador moving their cape that stimulates hyper aggression in—wait, wait, that’s not the point!” He heaves out a sigh. He turns to her and frowns. “Do you—do you even know why I’m so furious with Stanley right now?”
Mabel makes a funny sound with her mouth, her legs kicking back and forth, and then she answers. “‘Cause he shook his butt at them and told them to shove it where the sun don’t shine?”
Ford groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. Could Stan have any less tact? The children are almost 14 now, but still.
“That’s part of it,” he grumbles. “But it’s his insistence on constantly throwing himself headlong into danger before even considering the consequences of doing so. Stanley is—he’s ridiculously defensive of his family, which isn’t a bad quality to have at all, but…it gets him into unnecessary trouble. A lot.”
Mabel looks truly concerned now, which is good. “Is that why you looked like Dipper in the middle of a Wendy crisis when Grunkle Stan almost got hit by one of those super giant sharp and pointy stingers?”
Ford considers telling her that the venom would have killed Stanley in minutes, but then decides he should probably spare her those morbid details.
“Yes. It would have been…very catastrophic if he’d actually come into contact with one.” Ford slumps, suddenly feeling exhausted. “I’ve come this close to losing him once, I…the mere thought of possibly losing him again, and him ending up somewhere I couldn’t ever possibly reach…”
His throat tightens and he feels pressure building behind his eyelids. Emotion makes his heart feel like it’s being constricted, squeezed tight, and he swallows. He’d gone half his life without his brother and he regrets every single minute he didn’t spend by Stanley’s side. Almost losing him to Bill was a huge wake up call, and Ford’s barely been without him since then.
“So that’s why you’re so frowny,” Mabel chirps. Ford can’t tell if she’s totally oblivious to the seriousness of the situation or if she’s just trying to act upbeat for his sake—but he appreciates it either way. “You were pretty scared for him, huh, Grunkle Ford?”
Ford wipes his eyes and nods wordlessly. In the past he might have brushed her off but he knows better now—his family is the most important thing he has, and confiding in them when times are difficult is usually the best course of action.
The young teen hums thoughtfully, scratching her chin, and then her eyes practically light up.
“Wait, hold on! I have an idea,” she says excitedly. Her smile turns wicked. Oh, no. Ford knows that look. He’s been on the receiving end of it many times before.
“Grunkle Ford, have you seen the Stan Wrong Song?”
Ford tilts his head. “The…what?”
Mabel giggles insanely. “The Stan Wrong Song! It’s a song we forced Grunkle Stan to sing after he lost a bet to me.”
“Stanley lost a bet.”
“Uh-huh!”
“To you.” If Ford didn’t know her so well, he’d think she was lying. It’s extremely hard to believe, knowing how brilliant his twin is in the conning department.
Her grin becomes wider, if that’s even possible. Her braces glint in the dim light. “We bet to see who could make more money—me, taking over Grunkle Stan’s position as a morally ambiguous tour guide, or him on vacation. And I won the bet by a dollar! A dollar, Grunkle Ford!”
“Incredible,” Ford breathes, shaking his head.
“We made him sing it at least thirty-six times,” his nibling tells him. She really could give Stan a run for his money with how mischievous she is.
“Or, wait, maybe it was thirty-eight? Anyway, it was a whole lot! We were all singing it for weeks. The power of catchy made up songs prevailed! Grunkle Stan says he hates it, but I hear him singing it in the bathroom sometimes when he thinks I can’t hear him!”
The older man chuckles at that, amused.
“Anyway,” Mabel sing-songs. “Since Grunkle Stan was a dumb-dumb and almost got speared today and scared the bejeebers out of all of us, I think this is a good opportunity to bust that video out and give him a good ol’ dose of shame!”
“You truly are a peculiar girl, Mabel,” Ford says in wonder.
The brunette beams at this, her smile almost blinding.
“Come on,” she says, grabbing his wrist. Her grip is surprisingly strong, and so is the way she tugs him along with her. “It’s payback time! Revenge tastes sweet, like gummy worms!”
——————————————————–
Ten minutes later they’re seated together in the living room, prepared for the show. Mabel has already plugged her phone into the TV, which can broadcast anything she wants, thanks to a helpful little device Fiddleford had made for the family a while back. (It definitely helped when Ford wanted to show off all the videos he’d taken while he and Stan were out at sea on a larger screen for the whole family to watch.)
Stan is nowhere to be seen—which Ford supposes is a good sign as any. He’d rather not have Stan confiscate Mabel’s phone before Ford even gets to watch whatever the young girl is intent on showing him. Dipper’s probably still keeping watch over Stan, so that’s reassuring. He’s sure that there’s nobody more capable of watching his twin, except maybe Soos.
Mabel is practically vibrating in her seat, posture tense with excitement, and Ford fidgets. He’s honestly not sure what to expect—but when the video finally loads and the first thing he sees is Stan in a neon orange track suit covered with sparkles, Ford blinks in shock. He definitely didn’t expect that.
His twin looks like he’d rather be chased by a horrendous monster of the deep than perform in front of the camera, and the deadpan expression on his face has Ford releasing an amused snort.
Stan glances offscreen, gruff and irritated. “Ugh, l-look, I’m not gonna—”
Mabel’s voice interjects before he can finish protesting. “Do it!”
Stan begins to bounce as a song plays in the background. He looks so goofy doing it that Ford starts to giggle a little, the stress of the day rolling off his shoulders.
“I’m Stan and I was wrong.” Stan sings, dryly, with all the emotion of a desert cactus. “I’m singing the Stan Wrong Song.”
Something in Ford breaks, then—and he’s laughing, incredulously, sort of struck dumb by the whole situation. Mabel sniggers beside him. Stan starts to swing his arms, and Ford wheezes. His brother looks so foolish. Ford is absolutely reveling in it. (He’s so using this for blackmail material later.)
“I shouldn’t have taken that chance. Now here’s my remorseful dance,” Stan finishes, pouty and clearly embarrassed.
“Do the kicks!” Mabel’s voice calls out again, and Stan makes a feeble attempt at performing a kick, to which she demands them to be “Jazzier!”
It’s when Gompers comes in and starts a tug of war match with Stan that’s one for the history books that Ford loses it completely. The entire thing is just so wild and hysterical that he can’t help it, clutching at his side as he laughs and laughs and laughs. The video resets, going back to the beginning, and Ford happily sits through it again.
By the time the video loops for the fifth round Ford is howling with laughter, nearly bowled over by the force of it. His side has a stitch and it hurts and he’s pretty sure he’s crying but he can’t stop, too overwhelmed at the hilarity of his brother in a sparkly suit singing a song clearly meant to humiliate him—and maybe it’s the fact that Stan had had another close brush with death earlier and the built up tension from the incident that has him letting it all out through his chortles. Mabel is giggling madly beside him—whether she’s laughing at Stan or laughing at him laughing at Stan is unclear, but it’s contagious, and Ford can’t stop smiling.
God, how utterly ridiculous this all is. He loves his family.
The video is on its eighth loop and Ford is pretty sure he’s going to pass out from lack of oxygen when Stan bursts into the room, his eyes wide. Dipper follows close behind.
“What’s going on in—Ford?!”
Stan rushes over to him, his face drawn up in concern, and Ford’s heart melts a little. He might still be angry at his twin for scaring him half to death, but really, Stan’s mother hen tendencies never fail to make him smile.
“Ford—Jesus, you’re cryin’, Sixer! What the hell happened?”
Ford giggles and wipes the tears from his eyes, struggling to get his breathing back under control. “I’m—ahaha! I’m fine, Stanley.”
“With all the noise you were making, I thought you were dying,” Stan says with a worried frown. “It sounded like you were in pain or—”
Ford playfully rolls his eyes and nudges him in the shin with his foot.
“Now you know how I feel.”
Once he finally settles down, and when Mabel’s tittering fades, Stan finally registers the video playing behind him. His face immediately goes ash white, his expression quickly morphing into one of utter horror, and if Ford weren’t so wiped out by nearly laughing his ass into unconsciousness he’d probably start doing it again.
Dipper sees what they’re watching and he snorts, covering his mouth to hide any further giggles from coming out.
"Mabel, pumpkin?”
Mabel is the picture of pure innocence, her smile sickly sweet. “Yes, Grunkle Stan?”
“Either I’m having memory issues again or I swear I made you promise me in confidence that you would never ever show this video to Ford,” Stan says, slowly. His grin is wide and almost terrifying. If Ford didn���t know how much Stan loves Mabel he would have thought his twin was seriously considering strangling her. “And what did you do?”
“I showed the video to Ford,” Mabel says, looking shameful. She twirls a piece of long brown hair around her finger. Ford chokes back a bark of laughter at how well she’s pulling this off.
“Don’t be too hard on her, Stan,” Ford soothes in an attempt to curb his brother’s embarrassment. “She was only trying to help.”
Stan simply pouts, and suddenly all Ford can see is a young boy, cheeks bright red from the sun, childishly complaining about having to wear glasses because he thinks it’ll make him look like a nerd. Something warm blooms inside Ford’s chest and he bites his cheek, trying not to get lost in the memory of their childhood.
“How is this helping anything,” Stan mumbles, his cheeks flushing a charming shade of pink.
“It’s teaching you some humility,” Ford states, crossing his arms. “Maybe you should sing it again, Stanley.”
“What?!” His twin barks in outrage.
“He does have a point, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper provides helpfully from where he’s now lounging on the couch with Mabel. The video continues to loop, much to Stan’s chagrin. “You did do something wrong today.”
“Wh—are you still on about that? My god,” Stan groans, throwing his head back. “I was trying to be, ya know, heroic! Live up to my title.”
Ford is tempted to kick him again, but harder. His glare makes the other man wilt slightly.
“You already live up to your title, Stan,” Ford points out. “You don’t have to throw yourself in front of a beast with a toxicity level of 94 percent to prove that.”
“94? Holy crow, that’s high,” Dipper squeaks.
“You’ve already saved the world and paid the price for it once,” Ford continues. He slumps a bit in his chair, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to him. “Please, Stan, you have to understand—there’s no point in trying to protect us if we lose you in the process. It’s just…just…” And he shakes his head, frustrated that he can’t put it into words properly.
“Okay, alright,” Stan says sheepishly, edging closer to where he’s sitting. “I get it. I didn’t mean to scare ya. It’s just habit for me to be self-sacrificial at this point.”
“That’s a terrible habit!” Mabel accuses.
“She’s right,” Ford mumbles. “If you hadn’t…if that stinger had come into contact, you would have…and then I…I…” He chokes up, his eyes watering. His heart clenches painfully, fear making his body feel like it’s encased in ice. “If I lost you…”
“Hey, easy there on the waterworks, Poindexter,” Stan teases lightly. He holds his hands out in a pacifying gesture. “I’m fine, see? Still in one piece. Mostly.”
“This isn’t funny, Stanley! How can you still refuse to comprehend—ugh!”
Ford is nearly tearing his hair out in frustration now, his teeth grinding together. Seriously, how can his brother still be such an idiot? He thought the lecturing and the clear distress the rest of the family is expressing would be enough to make Stan realize, but—
Stan folds his arms, huffing, and Ford notes that his face is coloring again. Mabel and Dipper gaze at him curiously, and before Ford can question his twin, Stan releases a soft, irritated noise from his throat.
“I’m Stan and I was wrong,” Stan mutters.
Ford blinks in shock.
The other man sighs, a deep-sounding one that slackens his posture. “I’m singing…the Stan Wrong Song.”
Mabel makes a high-pitched keen of excitement, and Dipper grins. Ford almost falls right out of his chair.
He isn’t sure what’s more surprising—Stan willingly putting his pride on the line, or begrudgingly singing about his mistake in front of the family, who he knows are more than capable of holding this against him.
“I shouldn’t have taken that chance…”
Stan edges closer until he’s standing over Ford, his cheeks the color of a ripe apple.
“I’m sorry, okay? Now will you please forgive me already?”
Something lodges itself in Ford’s throat, and his whole body feels as if it’s being flooded with warmth. Even after all this time, Stan still puts his want for Ford’s forgiveness over everything else. His heart glows.
“Stanley…”
“Don’t gimme that look,” Stan grumbles, refusing to meet his eyes.
The older twin beams and launches himself out of his chair, scooping his brother up in a hug.
“Wh—Ford?!”
Ford nuzzles happily into Stan’s hair, grinning wide.
“Thank you, Stanley.”
“What! You cannot leave me out of this family hug action!” Mabel cries, leaping off the couch to run over and throw her arms around her Grunkles’ legs.
“Squeeeeze!” She says, squeezing them tight. Ford laughs jubilantly and Stan rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile that refuses to go away on his face.
Mabel presses her nose into Stan’s leg for a moment, and then she looks over her shoulder at Dipper.
“Come on, Dippin Dots, you know you want in on this!”
Dipper rolls his eyes but slides off the couch nonetheless, coming over to circle them before ending up beside Ford in the group hug.
The young girl starts giggling, a happy, wonderful sound that makes Ford’s heart swell like a balloon. He feels all sorts of fuzzy, the euphoria of being with the people he loves the most—and with his twin, his other half, the person who almost gave his life for him today—making him burst into merry laughter as well. Soon enough Dipper joins them, and finally, Stan is roped into it, their laughter too contagious to ignore.
When they finally all calm down, Ford nudges his head against Stan’s temple. So maybe he’s feeling a bit clingy now, so what?
“Next time you do something like that again I will sneak horrifying body-altering concoctions into your coffee,” Ford tells him way too cheerfully for someone who’s threatening possible disfiguration.
“Yikes, Sixer. What sort of crap did you learn how to do on the other side of that portal?”
“I know how to disembody someone in a total of 103 unique ways,” Ford responds brightly while he rubs his cheek against Stan’s shoulder, hiding a grin into his shirt.
Much to his delight, Stan stiffens beneath him, and Ford almost laughs.
“Remind me not to get on your bad side,” Stan gruffs, patting him on the back. He pauses. “…Again.”
“Hey,” Dipper playfully elbows Stan. “Grunkle Stan, you didn’t finish.”
Mabel’s entire face lights up, and her smile is blinding—and devilish. “Oh, that’s right! You didn’t finish, Grunkle Stan! You have to commit to it all the way!”
Stan looks down at them, puzzled. He tries to squirm out of Ford’s hold but Ford just hums and hugs him tighter, his forehead pressing against the man’s shoulder.
Stan promptly gives up on getting free (because he knows from experience once Ford starts clinging it’s all over). Instead, he addresses the younger twins with an air of confusion.
“What are you gremlins going on about? Finish what?”
“Your song, silly!” Mabel chirps.
Dipper nods, his smirk matching his sister’s. “Yeah, you didn’t sing the entire thing. Or even do the dance! That was a pretty lackluster performance if you ask me.”
Stan’s face draws up in horror. “Oh, no.”
Ford leans back, but doesn’t detach himself from their interwoven limbs. Giving Stan another dose of shame, as Mabel put it, sounds thrilling right about now.
“You know, they do have a point,” he says, pretending to mull it over. He can’t stop grinning. “I’d love to see the most recent rendition of the Stan Wrong Song, from start to finish. Wouldn’t you, kids?”
“Abso-lutely!” Mabel almost screams. “I’ll have to go get my camera!”
Dipper nods, a hand on his chin. “Oh, yes, yes. Gotta have it.”
“You are the worst,” Stan hisses, his entire face matching the color of Ford’s sweater.
Ford laughs for the millionth time that day, his body feeling lighter than air.
——————————————————–
After that, they make him sing it a total of seven times before finally giving mercy. Stan swears he’s never going to do anything super dangerous again until he does two days later. Then the whole process repeats. LMAO
I can never get enough of Pines family fluff it makes me weak in the knees and oh so happy
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Text
Uchitama 1 - 2 | Hatena 1 - 2 | Ankoku Hakaishin 1 - 2 | Infinite Dendrogram 1 | Hanako-kun 2 | In/Spectre 1 | ARP Backstage Pass 1 | A3 1
Rolled out one tag. I got pretty far behind, so I’ll catch up in the next few posts.
Uchitama 1
Ume and Shirai here.
I would assume this kid with the tiger on his shirt is called Tora, because I vaguely remember a “Tora” in the promotional material.
The sakura aesthetic is nice.
This switch between boy and cat forms is a bit…”weird” is the first word that came to mind, but “random” was the next.
Tora = Shirai and Ume is a character called Kuro, who we haven’t seen yet. (Had to google which roles they had.)
LOL, I like Beh already. A sleepyhead like him is perfect!
I just noticed, but Beh sometimes has a cleft palate (that little dent in the mouth).
Ume’s character isn’t too bad-looking, y’know. He’s a clumsy one though, so he doesn’t quite seem like the sort of character I’d gravitate to.
Seeing boys and girls act like cats and dogs makes me LOL.
Huh? Is cat-dog romance like your standard opposites attract romance…?
Hmm…thank goodness the mother cat wasn’t “made human”…
I’m used to Nora being a woman (see Noragami plus the Western general usage of the name “Nora”)…so this one being a guy (with nice eyes, to boot) is a bit disorienting.
Turns out the Tosa is a huge dog with a face like a pitbull.
I find this Momo-Bull romance just a bit weird still.
I got spoilt on this from the reviews, but Waiha = Hawaii.
That flash of Nora’s owner (?) was interesting!
Other notes: The narration seems to be done by the voice of Tama. Ume sounds like Ume, but it doesn’t feel like Ume because he’s playing against his normal type of character. Shirai doesn’t sound like Shirai though…it’s a completely different character to the types I’ve heard him do before (Ramuda and Io don’t sound like Tora, but Vino sounds similar to En because a lot of Ume characters are done in his usual, suave voice…Ramuda is Shirai doing a falsetto though so he’s hard to compare).
Hatena 1
This one got alright reviews, but I get the feeling I’m not going to like it, so lt’s get this over and done with.
Why is Kana the only one with the black hair…?
This OP is rather low budget compared to the others…
I fully expect Kana to go “It’s bitter…” and make a face when drinking the coff-yep. Thought so. Why do people think black coffee is the mark of a distinguished adult anyway? I don’t even like coffee, so I don’t get it at all.
The sentence in Japanese went something like “Makoto’s always been good”, so I don’t get why the word “egg” had to be introduced into the subs.
There’s an onigiri sale in the back, LOL.
The gates were fairly CGId…
The butler’s name is literally Jeeves Wodehouse, LOL.
Oh, Yumemi is blonde because of Maeve and Kana is brunette/black (?) haired because of Mamoru. Yumemi = dream seeing and Mamoru = protect.
Kana’s voice is annoying! That’s why I thought I wouldn’t like this.
Kana’s such a tsundere now that she knows Makoto is a boy, it’s annoying. I already knew such a detail from the reviews, so I’m not miffed at all.
I find it vaguely amusing that there were 3 different types of animation of a person popping their head into the attic.
Ema’s just a bit evil…Update: Nup, she just ships Kana x Makoto, that’s all.
The hardsubs weren’t encoded correctly on this episode, so they’re all blurry now. Still readable but blurry.
The pun is that the ka in Kana can be read hate in other cases.
More CG doors.
Why is Kana wearing the scarf, even after her bath in a towel???
This reminds me of Hayate the Combat Butler…
Maeve is foreign...that’s why she’s blonde. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (<- partially sarcastic)
Hmm…the fact you can’t tell what is and isn’t real is an interesting factor. However, the production values and the bog-standard romance being set up undercut that.
Magical girl transformation, eh? Reminds me of DN Angel or Magic Kaito, but also Phantom Thief Jeanne or something of the sort.
Hatena 2
I’m still trying to see if this is something to kick out…
This “scarf punches guy” business is getting old…I never got used to it in the old-school harems. I don’t know why it’s become a “classic” thing in anime.
This is meant to be for a boy’s perspective, so…I don’t get it. Okay, I’m dropping this.
Infinite Dendrogram 1
An isekai…oh, goody. (sarcastic) Then again, if I liked this I could try a new publisher out, so it’s win-win for me and the companies I go through to get there.
*the exposition rolls in about virtual reality* Oh great (sarcastic)…this is SAO all over again, isn’t it???
I saw HOTZIPANG in the credits list…now I’m really wary. HOTZIPANG were in the credits for Africa Salaryman and their animation production isn’t the best.
1st person cam…you suck, you know that?!
No. 13 (unlucky number)…Cheshire (Alice in Wonderland)…
Ray for Reiji makes sense, but…(consults Google-sensei) mukudori does mean “starling”, after all.
Yo…does Ray have to be blonde…? Is this some commentary on how having blonde hair is better than black hair, or am I thinking about this too much? (It’s my belief that Asians want to look European and vice versa – just look at their beauty standards! - so that’s where that comes from.)
Box? Looks like a bag to me.
Welp, just grabbing the kanji for mukudori via Wikipedia revealed the Embryo is a sword to me…*shrugs* No surprise there – as TV Tropes would say, heroes love swords (and redheads!).
So you can commit murder in Infinite Dendrogram??? (I’m joking partially, but Cheshire did say “you can do anything”…right?)
…and of course Ray drops into Altea from the sky. It’s been a cliché since No Game No Life.
“This is a game?” – Actually, I thought the same thing when I entered the website and game of TERA. Then again, this is basically trying to be SAO through and through, so I guess spouting that line is a prerequisite here.
How does anyone break both arms from running into someone…?
Well, at least this show looks nice. It’s doing its job on that front.
I was going to ask what a tian was, but the show answered it for me. Good job, show!
*Googles “dendrogram”* - “a tree diagram, especially one showing taxonomic relationships.” – Oh, so that’s why it’s called Infinite Dendrogram! (Y’know, it reminds me of studying about dendrites, which have the same appearance as a dendrogram...hence the shared origins of the words.)
Normally characters don’t jump into virtual worlds with thir brother…they’d do it with their cousin or crush or something…Hmm.
I was about to think you die in real life if you die in the game, but thank goodness this one is nowhere near as bad.
CGI bugs…of course…
That one still shot revealed a crack in this show’s visuals. I almost thought I could select it on the basis of the excellent visuals alone, but nope.
“…that…leaves a bad taste in my mouth!” – Not again, Ray…stop saying that line…
Again? I just told you in the last note not to!
Of course Ray gets the girl. I should’ve known…well she’s a sword but also a girl…?
The sentence ending -grizz is –kuma in Japanese.
I felt something special in my gut when the sword appeared, even though I’m complaining about this being like SAO, so I think it’s worth continuing.
A3 1
A3 is based on a mobile game so it looks a lot like those idol games, but it’s actually about acting according to the full name of Act! Addict! Actors!.
This kid’s eyes freak me out!
Considering this involves – according to the synopsis – a Mankai (full bloom) Company and this is called “spring and summer”, plus the metaphors from earlier, it makes sense the kiddo’s jumper says “spring” on it.
I thought the kid was singing, but turns out he’s reciting Shakespeare. I don’t know how popular the ol’ Shakie is in Japan, but I’ll take it.
Veludo Way = Broadway, apparently.
It should be Biro-do or Verodo, but not “Vedulo” like the subs say.
*sees a woman* - Oh great, so now this turns into an otome game…or, like i7’s Tsumugi, she’s an audience insert.
Someone encoded the video funny again…*sigh*
I bet the demolition guy is going to join the theatre, based on his looks. Update: According to the wiki, yes he does (as part of the Autumn troupe)! One of his hobbies is bubble wrap, which I can relate to immensely…and apparently he’s a yakuza…?
Masumi’s voice…is that Kaito Ishikawa? Update: No! It’s Shirai! I’m so surprised…it’s a very Io-sounding voice, though, so I guess I shouldn’t.
Masumi is one of those needy types who could easily fall into yandere territory…I don’t like him. I don’t like Sakuya either, though…
I know this from my recent experience, but hard work hardly works, Sakuya. Staying somewhere one year or ten years does diddly squat if you don’t have what other people are looking for. *tries not to cry*
I’m sorry guys, but even with the attack to the heart, I don’t give a s*** about you all. The troupe was just arguing to delay their deadlines and Furuichi (the demolition guy) has a point – the guys didn’t really prove themselves outside a brief but unimpressive stint from Sakuya.
ARP Backstage Pass 1
Hopefully this show is actually good, y’know? A3 just bombed…
Okayyyyyyyyyyy…from the one minute or so that I’ve seen, it looks like a Coldplay concert but with bishonen (good) and bad music (which is…uh, bad). That does not bode well for this show…also, the stage names are pretty obviously that. I mean, who cals their kid “Rage”? It’s probably Reiji (again, considring Infinite Dendrogram).
The cars from above almost look like Frogger…LOL.
Oh f*** me and my on-the-ball instincts! I guessed correctly again (Rage = Reiji)…and that’s bad news.
Wait, why is Shinji staring into space…?
There’s a kettle noisily going on in the background, so I can’t really tell what’s so awesome about this show without the music…I guess I’ll have to abort this mission until later…
Okay, so I listened to the piano bit thrice and couldn’t tell if there was a piano noise…That’s bad news. Update: Yep, listened to it again and there is no piano sound during the piano scene.
The rock music was…unexpected.
Wait, you mean the dude’s name is actually Daiya??? What???
Oh my gosh, these guys are hilarious! I know that’s dark considering they’re starving, but…LOL.
Idolmaster Side M taught me that career changes are actually pretty interesting when combined with idol anime and…this may be a band or something, but it sure works the same way.
That transition to Leon was terrible.
This appears to be Yokohama (Chinatown) and Hakone (the pirate ship).
Well, the show’s case would be helped if they had music in the right places, rather than music videos interspersed throughout.
Geesh this one is tough…some of the music is actually pretty good and the episode does get better when Rebel Cross appear (but Shinji is kinda boring, even though I thought I’d like him the most, and Leon’s singing was downright terrible), but the animation is terrible and I found myself going “But why should I care?!” multiple times in my head during the first half. The group do seem to have quite good synergy at the end and are generally entertaining, too.
Ankoku Hakaishin 1
I’ve ben calling this “Destructive God” or “Ankoku Haishin”, so this is A Destructive God Sits Next to Me. Update: It should be Hakaishin…actually.
Ooh, Natsuko Takahashi. This show’s in good hands.
Very Seki-kun.
Black Mouse Land, LOL.
“This is war!” – The word here is shoubu, which literally means “victory or defeat”, so it makes sense to change it to a more commonly used phrase.
“RIP Koyuki” – The grave said “Koyuki’s grave”…which isn’t that funny to be honest, so again, I get the decision to change it.
Hanadori still had the dog…?
“Things I Want to Forget” – Literally, the words on the page mean “black history”, which I think is funnier.
Oh, I bet Koyuki will plan the class trip…
“[T]he jerk in the next class over” – Does he have a name…?
I bet Koyuki has the worst grades in math of the trio.
Koyuki is deliberately designed like a cat, it seems.
You can see the broken window from earlier…LOL.
It’s Animal Crossing! On DS! (But what’s up with that rabbit with the fishnet stockings…?) Update: Do Japanese kids even use DSs these days? DSs must be cheap in comparison to their newfangled gaming laptops and Switches…
Is Tsukimiya Mamoru Miyano or something…? Update: Nup, Kimura. I seem to get those two confused quite a bit.
The “Muney” (sic) thing is because he (Hanadori) wrote the hyou in mokuhyou (aim, goal) wrong. By the way, Hanadori put an eyepatch on one of his banknotes.
That ending was actually kind of cute. I always prefer heartwarming comedies like these over mean-spirited ones (Osomatsu-san, Konosuba), so…yep, it’s in my wheelhouse!
I predicted the ending but the galactic reaction I got was…awesome!
In/Spectre 1
Why does this have so many names? In/Spectre, Kyokou Suiri , Inverted Reasoning (or was it Inverted Interface)…? Update: Inverted Inference. That’s the name on the manga covers.
Ooh, Saki is pretty classy-looking.
This is being framed like a romance, huh? I know this series is supernatural, but I’m not really here for the romance.
What’s the age gap? 17 (Kotoko) – 23 (Kuro)?
Lel, Harlequin novels. Those seem to be exclusive to the Western world (specifically the USA and its English-speaking country buddies), so it’s probably just romance novels in the original words. Update: I found Harlequin novels for Japan, but still, they’d be nowhere near as ubiquitous as they are elsewhere. Update 2: I kept thinking about it, so now I have an entire post with my findings. Turns out Japan does have and know about Harlequin novels (which do look like the one the samurai was holding), but they probably couldn’t state the name because of potential lawsuits or something. 
Oh gosh, Potato-kun (Kuro) – yes, I think of him much like a normal harem lead – getting your hand chomped off to the arm is a bit stupid, y’know?
Whoa! Wht a crazy cliffhanger!
Whoo! This OP (? Or is this an ED?) is crazy cool. Kinda like low-budget Kekkai Sensen.
Well, this show is kinda losing me with the romance elements, but the supernatural part is great.
Hanako-kun 2
What’s Hakujoudai? Those will o wisps? Update: Seems so.
The explanation of Yousei-san has a voice like it’s coming across a radio…interesting.
The towel…I bet it’s the one from Senpai one of the students mntioned earlier.
The subbers spelt “brooch” wrong.
This new boy – which I thought was Minamoto at first (LOL?)…he has a traffic omamori as an earring and a staff/umbrella, so he’s probably an exorcist. Either that or a massive chuunibyou.
LOL, Castle in the Sky much? (Or is that Nausicaa?)
Nene is reading from a magazine called G Cinema.
The comedy is this is slowly getting better. That’s a good sign for this, but bad for Ankoku Hakaishin…
Seagull High????? (Kamome = seagull.)
Wait, Minamoto??? You mean Nene’s former love is an exorcist??? Update: Oops, that’s (Nene’s crush is) Kou’s older bro…but that’s spoilers.
“Kou” is written with the character for hikari, or in this case “Yorimitsu”.
The action scenes are pretty good in this…I guess I kind of took them for granted in ep. 1.
Oh, I guess I should’ve known that seal on Hanako’s face…there were more of them in his possession. Also, there’s an extra V in the subs for some reason.
The stairs remind me of Muzan’s “universe” near the end of Demon Slayer’s first season.
Oh, the events of this episode tell you why Nene does the next episode stuff.
The ED visuals remind me of Ranpo Kitan’s, and I love Ranpo Kitan’s.
Ankoku Hakaishin 2
Why is Koyuki eating with his teacher anyway? I thought he was the guy from the class next door until he started talking about kids.
“Miguel Whatever” makes me laugh every time.
The cat ears on Koyuki’s phone are cute.
Sumiso reminds me of Aikatsu girls…
Uchitama 2
Bull is an “ore-sama”, huh?
I didn’t think they would continue with the “Solitary King of Destruction” thing.
Bull as a chuunibyou ham is so entertaining, but when they try to play the Momo romance hand again…I start to lose my patience...
LOL, Petstagram…
…and now it’s a (reverse) HAREM!
“[M]ad dog”, LOL, what a turn of phrase.
Okayyyyyyyyy subbers, own up! Who put a dog pun in Bull’s talk?! (I’m referring to the “doggone it!”.)
*points at dog puns*- You didn’t, subbers! You’re still adding dog puns!
Wait, Bull’s singing?! This I didn’t expect!
Well…this decision is hard. Bull’s become greater than ever…but only in relation to his romance with Momo!
Aww…seeing Bull dejected makes me sad inside too.
Oh yeah! There we go! That intro landed its gag purrfectly…to use an intentional cat pun.
Why did I take to Bull so much? Well, if he weren’t a dog, I’d find him completely romanceable, even if he were a massive chuuni.
Oh, the pun is ippai (full). Then you unintentionally switch it to oppai (boobs).
What? Wow, I never thought I’d get Ume talking about cat and dog nipples. (That’s not a sentence I’m going to be able to match any time soon.)
Okayyyyyyyyy…that one segment was a massive weird non-sequitur. I have no idea how they’d represent that with cat and dog forms.
Oh, Petstagram! We actually get to see it!
This series is more prone to “mood swings” than Ankoku Hakaishin or even Hanako-kun…yikes.
No, no, no! Who is this guy??? Haven’t you heard of “stranger danger”?!
…Oh, so the guy was Tome, huh?
The ED! This aesthetic is too good!
ARGH! Okay, okay, Uchitama! You win! I was going to pick Ankoku Hakaishin because that’s more consistent in landing its laughs and Hanako-kun would’ve been a better choice because its aesthetic is more consistently there plus it has interesting ideas with its apparitions, but Ankoku Hakaishin is fairly interchangeable with Iruma-kun…basically, if Eizouken or Magia Record don’t work out, I can loo forward to switching in one or the other, but I’m going to stick with Uchitama because *gestures wildly at screen* just look at this manservice! Even if it’s actually for a dog, I cannot deny the manservice!
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anodyne-sunflower · 7 years
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Neptune-BalemxReader (Request)
A/N: Balem is ridiculous, and makes it hard to enjoy the Christmas spirit. So picking a plot for him was a challenge lol Also, this takes care of another request...for a reaction I wouldn’t consider very ‘Balem’ but fun to write ;)
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MOOD MUSIC: Battlefield by Svrcina
***
A strong-willed woman, that’s what it took, and Balem would find himself incapable of denying you even the smallest of requests. He could not fathom how low he had sunk on his own personal view of people, but who was he to find fault in the love he held for you. As far as he could remember, you had undeniably hooked him into your world and refused to let go. Breaking down each barrier of his brash personality, until all that was left was a ruler who found his one weakness in the form of a gorgeous earthling.
“No.”
“Balem-“ The Primary growled deeply in his throat, almost a purr of annoyance that you had sensed building. He was a stubborn man, but you knew better than to give up on the first try with him. “My dear husband...”
Balem’s inquisitive eyes fell upon your figure, voyaging over the curve of your tempting hip and stopping just when those pretty lips came into his view. He could play this game with you, pretend you had little to no effect over him, but that would be disastrous by the end of it. It was unlikely he was even able to feign such a display, because those pleading eyes of yours were enough to earn a ‘yes’ from him. “Very well....” By now his tone had lost some of its potency, but it would be in bad taste to immediately destroy the aloof reputation he had built himself. He couldn’t have his staff bare witness to these softer moments with you, and judging by the curious stares of his advisor he already felt that part of his life ending.
“Mr. Night,” Balem stared icily towards the splice, not appreciating the way he lingered behind him like some child awaiting permission. The intimate moments he shared with you would remain behind closed doors, and he intended for that rule to apply to the throne room as well. “Do not stand there like some fool-!”
“You can go, Mr. Night.” Your palm fell over Balem’s clenched fist, acting as an instant calmative for the rage filled man. It was endearing how quarrelsome he could become under the scrutiny of his staff, but you suspected being the intimidating ruler of planets could make anyone testy. “You really shouldn’t be so cruel, Balem.” You waited until the rest of the servants left the throne room, knowing he’d be better off to receive your affections that way. “If you really don’t want to go then-“
“You’re a bothersome woman.” Balem scoffed in frustration, crossing his arms as he took a seat back on his hovering throne. You knew better than to take his words seriously in this instance, but it still made you pout down at him. Call it a sweet revenge, but you took advantage of the influence you had over him.
“I only asked for one thing...don’t be so melancholy.” Your fingers tugged gently on the ends of your dress, lifting it up and out of the way as you took a seat on his lap. Despite his initial cold shoulder, you still felt the brush of his fingertips on your lower back, softly massaging the skin that was bare from the dip of your gown. “Do you really not want to go?”
“Hm.” It was barely a reply, but you understood him well enough to know that his simple remarks meant he was caving to your desires.
“Oh, thank you!” With a relieved sigh, you tangled your arms around his neck, kissing his cheek happily and leaving him to gripe about the upcoming trip as you went away to pack.
***
“Neptune?! I thought we agreed we would go to earth? You said that-“
“Earth, Neptune...it’s all the same.” Balem shrugged your exasperation off, his shortened nails tapping away at the rim of his wine glass. He was in no fine spirits to be traveling away from Jupiter, as he usually was, but for you he was willing to make the small sacrifice. He hated most planets, they were often over populated, and the customs changed so frequently he never had time to register what was going on. He relied heavily on his advisor to notify him of such trivial details, but if he had to pick one planet he found tolerable alongside Jupiter, it would be Neptune. It was cold, desolate, and held a peaceful silence he was proud to call his own. He may have promised you a trip for the holidays, a Christmas tradition you forced upon him, but he was under no obligation to make it on earth.
“You stubborn, bull-headed, man!” Was it really so much to expect him to keep his word? He was always so skilled at deceiving his business rivals, you felt he might be transferring those ideals to his marriage. “One Christmas, just one, that’s all I wanted. Back home where people actually decorate, make hot chocolate, sing carols, and exchange gifts!” There was no use covering up your disappointment, and in hindsight you were being rather childish about it. But you were homesick, as anyone would get during the holidays. All you wished was for one Christmas abroad, and to delight in the extravagant traditions earth offered.
“You begged me for a winter, and now you have it.” Balem muttered back to you, gesturing to the white landscape below as his clipper descended onto the docking bay. “Neptune is forever in a state of endless snowstorms. You have your wish, my queen. Do not presume to ask me for more.”
Balem was not an easy man to be married to, but you loved him anyway. However, your forgiving nature didn’t extend to trickery and lies, or his terrible attitude on most things. Christmas was your favorite time of year, and having to brave the boring atmosphere of Jupiter for one more year would’ve been hell. “You are selfish, Balem! I hope you enjoy your solitude, because I’m,” With a displeased demeanor, you grabbed your pale blue cloak from the bed and stormed out of his clipper chambers, barely acknowledging him on your way out. “Going out and enjoying what I can of this foreign place you’ve brought me.” Drama wasn’t your talent, but being with Balem sometimes brought that out in you. Mainly when you wanted to get away and deal with your conflicting emotions on your own. Or, if you were being perfectly honest, to gain some sympathy from your husband.
“Y/N.” Balem rose from his seat, debating whether to chase after you or let you simmer in your anger. He despised conversations about feelings, but he couldn’t deny the small pang of grief he felt at your departure. “Wait...” He grumbled to himself, cursing the gods for ever letting him fall victim to his heart’s passions.
The ship came to a halt on the docks, anchoring to the metal and releasing the ramp for you to exit. You could feel Balem’s presence looming behind you, but in your sour mood it wasn’t worth giving him the time of day now. “That awful...handsome, petulant man...” To say it was difficult to insult your husband would be an understatement, because he brought you more joy than headaches in the past years. However, today he was on your list of people you wanted to slap upside the head for their unbecoming behavior. “I swear.”
You greeted Mr. Night on your way out, smiling when he fussed over you staying warm whilst exploring about. You had never set foot on Neptune before, but the minute you looked out at the sea of white in front of you, your heart nearly stopped from the grand scenery. It was stunningly beautiful, sparkling white in the soft glow of the sun that beamed from so far away. There was very little light that was given to the planet, but regardless of that fact, you were amazed at how gorgeous it looked. Darkened trees dotted the horizon, the lakes frozen over and proving even prettier upon closer inspection. If ever there was a winter wonderland, it was this. The odd part was, that it angered you, because not only had he specifically chosen a planet that would perfectly capture what you wanted, but he went out of his way to even agree to travel. It sounded immature and petty, but you liked to actually stay mad at him for once. Instead of finding out his selfish nature was actually him just working around what you had requested of him.
With a small groan of annoyance, you finally trekked into the snow. The chill of it running up to your knees and causing you to smile in fondness of your childhood memories. You had missed such weather, and knowing Neptune was in a perpetual state of winter made you warm with joy. Unfortunately, the holiday spirit was meant to be shared with your hotheaded husband, who didn’t seem to be following you any longer. “Merry Christmas, to me...” You sullenly whispered, stopping at a stone archway that was covered in iced over vines. The path lead down into the valley, where an enchanting castle stood alone on the hill surrounded by old metal gates and plants that had withered away without proper care. Even then, it still looked elegant to you, and the more you thought it over the more you were willing to spend your vacation here.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” His dark voice trailed into your mind, making you turn around and come face to face with him in his brooding company.
“Yes.” There was more descriptive words you could’ve used to explain your love for this place, but Balem would’ve been smug about it. Something you weren’t willing to fully put up with just yet. “It is.”
Balem sighed heavily, picking up on your cold shoulder and not wanting to further the wrath you had developed against him. Normally he’d be fine with the silence, but the sentimental half of him loathed your aloofness towards him. “My flower.” He eagerly reached for you, ignoring your gentle resistance of his touch when he tugged you into his arms.
He stayed silent, but you felt the love he harbored for you through his embrace. The warmth that came with his hold, it was comforting to your frustrated soul, and even if you still wanted to bite back for his irritable ways you allowed him the proximity. “You’re still in trouble, Balem.”
The Primary smirked at your weak threat, burying his nose into your hair and drinking in the heavy scent of your perfume. It provided its own pleasure for him, and if this was the events Christmas would bring in the future, he was happy to play along next time. “Will this palace suffice?”
The answer, was an obvious yes, but you weren’t going to satisfy his ego with it just yet. He could wait to hear how much you adored him for bringing you to Neptune. Especially when all you wanted to do now was hurry inside and bask in the heat of the fireplace that undoubtedly adorned the castle walls. “Balem,” You pulled away from him, still staying within his hold as you gazed lovingly up at the Primary. He looked devilishly handsome against the backdrop of winter, the distinguished gold and black cloak he wore emitting a kingly vibe. If it wasn’t for your vengeful side, you’d of enthusiastically dragged him into his winter palace and spent Christmas locked in his heated embrace. But that special gift could wait until you got precisely what you wanted. “Do you love me?”
The inquiry caught him off guard, his eyebrow raising in suspicion as he stared curiously down at you. “Little bird,” he warned, scowl growing deep when you simply smiled up at him. He couldn’t gauge what your plan was, but he assumed you wished for nothing more than his suffering. Dramatic as it was, he was not capable of voicing the extent of his adoration of you. “Do not-“
“Answer me, Balem.” You prodded him for a confession, even when you knew he loved you deeper than anything else in his life. You valued actions above words most days, but on the rare occasion, you rather enjoyed hearing him admit it. Nothing screamed payback like watching the most powerful man succumb to his woman.
Balem could not comprehend why you’d burden him with this nonsense, and truthfully he just wanted to whisk you away into the castle and find more creative ways to keep warm. But that determined stare of yours was making him feel a vulnerability he wasn’t accustomed to, and he hated every minute of it. “I...” He muttered, brow furrowing in distaste of this topic. Courting you was the most romantic side of him you’d likely ever witness. He had hoped, in vain, that you’d be satisfied with that outcome. Only now, it would appear otherwise. “This is nonsense, enough of it.”
Balem gently shoved you aside, his mind set on leaving this foolish conversation behind. He had better things to attend to than placate the sentiments of your earthling heart. “Come, I’ll have the servants build us a fire. We’ll have dinner together.”
It was his way of showing you just how much you meant to him, you were aware of that. And you couldn’t help but smile at his discomfort over the topic of love. He was never going to be an open person, but you were his wife, and you intended to tease him about it until the end of your days. “Balem, just say it. It won’t kill you.” You hooked your arm around his, leaning your head happily against his shoulder as you walked along the snowy path and towards the palace gates.
“I said enough.” His words were straight and to the point, laced in a discontent that made you giggle madly. He could be curt all he wanted, because when you glanced up and saw that heated trail of pink along his cheeks you knew you had won this time.
***
A/N: In case it wasn’t obvious, the request was for ‘Balem blushing’. Not a very realistic reaction for the ass, but I tried to put him into a position where I thought maybe, just maybe, he’d blush lol So, hope it was decent 🤷🏻‍♀️
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ablack-reblogs · 7 years
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Live Blogging: Death Note (The Movie)
DEATH NOTE, NETFLIX ORIGINAL FILM (Somehow… I don’t know how, but apparently it is an original even though it existed prior to the creation but you know, NETFLIX and shit…)
 Blogger’s Note: I’ve watched Death Note the anime and I’ve read about half of the manga, so I’m decently familiar with how this story is supposed to pan out, okay, and I’m just going to live blog my feelings about this thing that exists. You don’t have to agree or disagree with my ramblings. That being said, I never trust a nearly perfect rating – which this film has – so let’s just move on forward.
YOU ARE HEREBY WARNED OF SPOILERS FOR BOTH THE DEATH NOTE MOVIE, THE DEATH NOTE ANIME, AND THE DEATH NOTE MANGA.
 PRE-WATCH: I’ve seen a few different trailers. I’m excited to see L being played by a person of color since it gives us this anti-hero/heroic character that is generally viewed with positivity. That’s particularly awesome. I’m also impressed that they were able to keep Ryuk looking so much like he does in the manga and anime.
 Ready – set – and - - -
 GO:
 Suspenseful music…. Two screens of NETFLIX ORIGINAL reminding me how mad I am that it isn’t actually an original – that the word they wanted was actually EXCLUSIVE. But fuck Netflix in particular, they are big enough that they can probably get away with stupid shit like this.
 Light doing other peoples’ homework for cash bothers me.
 This bitchy cheerleader is already annoying. If that is Amane I’m going to be super pissed off. I hate Amane to begin with, if I’m being honest, so this girl is going to really seal that deal.
 Side note, I really fucking hate that this is a bunch of white kids. I hope that this shit at least ends up taking place in America to justify such a dumb fucking change.
 I really don’t like anything yet. Light is super OOC which is annoying.
 MIA? MIA? Please tell me that this is not a name change for Misa Amane…….
 LIGHT’S MOM IS DEAD? OKAY THERE IS NOTHING SIMILAR EXCEPT THAT LIGHT IS HIS NAME AND HE HAS A DEATH NOTE.
 Two weeks of detention… Oh yeah, that’s so much trouble – holy fuck.
 I spy a Brit flag in the background… Perhaps this is not taking place in America?
 Oh goodness gracious they’re going to have him kill because he’s being petty and pissy. That is not how this happened.
 Not to mention – the rules populate as time passes, or as circumstances arise. And the pages were blank when he got it… He didn’t open this thing at school – HE DID NOT EVEN FIND IT AT SCHOOL…
 Light was quiet smart, anti-social, not interested in girls… He had his whole family… This Light is a cocky, orphan, coward who uses his intelligence to make a quick buck and save his ass.
 I don’t like Ryuk’s voice. It bothers me that Ryuk isn’t visible at all times. The way Ryuk speaks is even wrong.
 I like swearing – I can get behind that shit.
 I hate that this is so misleading because the scenario is pretty accurate, but – it seems like he was already planning to do that anyway.
 Ryuk DID NOT give it to Light for the potential he has – it’s just so wrong.
 I get the feeling that Light’s dad might be a drunk.
 Well maybe, maybe his father is just a nitpicky father cop.
 Holy hell if he kills his dad I’m going to punch walls for fucking real.
 R EYE IKKKK
 NOT EVEN CLOSE THIS IS THE FUCKING AVATAR ALL OVER AGAIN HOLY SHIT HELP ME I AM SO MAD
 For the record, Ryuk doesn’t turn lights off and act like a Boogeyman – he’s actually like a shadow and he’s generally really quiet and kind of sassy. He likes to tell jokes. Ryuk isn’t particularly frightening in any way except his appearance.
 Oh, they fixed his name. It’s about as close as it’s going to get in an American accent.
 That’s not what happened with the Death Note passing happened. Ryuk did it as a joke. There’s a different shinigami who actually had this happen – but you know – Netflix is taking a page of the book Disney read before destroying the canon!verse of Star Wars…. So…
Fuck Netflix and Disney.
 I’m kind of pissed off
 Woah – pause – that death was horrifyingly graphic.
 Also, these are all supposed to be heart attacks. There’s no possible way for this story to properly play out when the deaths are not actually heart attacks – and not actually only criminals.
 So I’m pissed off about so many things… But like… the fact that Light is just reading the Death Note all over the place in public.
 Holy fuck – Light is trying to get that Mia vagina hard….
  LOL
 Only the keeper can see the shinigami is a lie. Any person that touches it can see the fucking death god.
 IT IS PISSING ME OFF QUITE A BIT THAT THEY ARE ONLY TAKING A FEW KEY MOMENTS AND THEN CHANGING EVERYTHING ELSE AND IT SO DIFFERENT…
 I mean it’s super American, and if I didn’t know what was up, this probably would be pretty great.
 This girl playing Mia is the next Kristen Stewart – calling it right here and right now.
 I foresee an unnecessary sex scene. Yep – it is happening now probably.
 HEY I LOVE THAT HE ASKS – BUT SHE IS SAYING HE DOESN’T HAVE TO ASK BUT MALES OF THE EARTH – ALWAYS ASK
 So, just for your information, there was never anything sexual in the books – not explicitly.
 THEY’RE WRITING NAMES AND FUCKING OH MY GOD THE FUCK
 It’s not American if there’s not unnecessary sex.
 I’m beginning myself to chill out and try to finish this shitty ass movie.
 IS HE LITERALLY HAVING THE VICTIMS WRITING THE NAME LORD KIRA BEFORE DEATH
 This is so disgustingly fucked up.
 I revoke previous compliments. I do not approve of any of this bullshit.
 THE ACTUAL LIGHT, LIGHT FUCKING YAGAMI WAS SUCH A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON AND DID NOT GO AROUND LOOKING FOR PRAISE HE WAS HAPPY TO BE ANONYMOUS..
 Oh look tits… There has to be tits somewhere, right? For it to sell there must be tits.
Maybe if I just make the book cover of my first book a picture of tits it will sell bunches.
 THEY HAVE THE ACTOR WHO PLAYERS HIRO NAKUMURA TALK ABOUT THE NAKUMURA FAMILY omg
 Random singing????
 L does have money to spare at his disposal for sure, but he was never so obvious because it draws in a lot of attention.
 HOW DO I LOOK – Psh… listen – this whole show is fucked.
 What happened to his office dudes? Like, the hell?
 Watari is correct, and he’s younger than he really was, but at least he’s the correct race. That bugs me big time – but I read fanfiction set as an AU – so I’ll just bite my tongue.
 HE IS NOT SITTING THE WAY HE IS SUPPOSED TO SIT
 IN CLASS? She’s so fucking weird.
 You know what, I might be able to appreciate Misa Amane after this shit. What a weird feeling.
 Back tracking – L kept his letter pretty spot on.
 Now listen, L ate a lot of candy, but he wasn’t like an addict or anything.
 My husband wants you to know that he hates Mr. Turner’s sideburns.
 L is sitting a little bit more the correct way. He usually balances on his feet.
 Is that seaweed ice cream or something?
 REST YOUR GLUTES?!
 He’s got the L mannerisms pretty spot on – but L wears pajamas, doesn’t cover his face – and actually doesn’t present himself publically because it could cost him his life.
 THERE IS SO MUCH WRONG AND IT HURTS ME
 Ryuk makes a joke – SOMETHING THAT IS ACTUAL CANON.
 This whole movie is solid fanfiction content, honestly.
 INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATOR
 DID YOU MEAN CONSULTING DETECTIVE?
 Let’s get a fanfiction of Death Note and Sherlock.
 In the manga/anime – his dad accepts that his son must be followed.
 HE IS BAREFOOT YASSSS
 I think she’s really absolutely nuts – this Mia. I’m really glad Light fucking sassed the shit out of her for wanting to just kill everyone.
 SHE FUCKING STOLE THE BOOK DIDN’T SHE?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!
 And I’m taking dead Pearl as a sign that she fucking took the book. She is fucking reckless as hell and that is pretty spot on for Amane.
 L IS NOT THAT EMOTIONAL – HE IS TRAINED NOT TO BE THAT WAY
 I AM SO MAD – RYUK NEVER INTERFERES.
 You can’t kill a shinigami with a Death Note. There’s only one way to kill a shinigami.
 WHY DIDN’T HE THINK OF HIS BITCH ASS GIRLFRIEND DOING THAT DICK SHIT TO GET HIM CAUGHT OMG
 This is so sloppy and messy.
 She wants to kill his dad. Saying shit about his mom like that – low blow – fuck her.
 I can’t even with this movie right now because I have a lot of negative feelings. There’s so much wrong about it – and yet it does resemble the original enough that I can follow the progression with little agitation.
 L DOES NOT KNOW IT. HE THINKS KIRA IS AT LIKE ONLY 7% OMG.
 LIGHT IS CONFIRMING THAT HE IS KIRA
L IS GETTING PHYSICAL AND HE NEVER DOES THAT – except like twice.
 I just hate that so much character building was just thrown out the window like little pieces of confetti.
 Looks like Light has no time for Mia’s shit.
 Oh, the penis twitches when he heard her say “I LOVE YOU” which is fake as shit. This cliché bologna is a mess. I am a mess and I want to vomit. Cry vomit.
 Watari was never manipulated from what I recall… I don’t like this…
 They’re making L way more emotional than he was and I don’t like it. He does eventually realize that he has some emotions and that they’re foreign to him, but he’s super chill about it.
 LIGHT’S DAD TRUSTED KIRA ABOVE ALL ELSE, EVEN HIS SON, AND I HAVE SO MUCH RAGE ABOUT THIS.
 THERE ARE SO MANY FUCKING LOOSE ENDS… THE AMERICANIZED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS RIGHT DOWN TO AN ABSURD NUMBER OF PLOT HOLES
 This whole orphanage shit scene is made the fuck up – never happened. None fo this shit with Watari was a thing – I’m pretty fucking sure. My memory isn’t perfect but it is pretty fucking good.
 I also hate that Light just passing off the charge to fucking Mia. L did not trust Amane at all.
 THEY ARE SO OOC AND IT IS HARD FOR ME TO READ OOC FANFICTION, AND PROVING TO BE EVEN HARDER TO FUCKING WATCH HALP ME
 I kind of have this feeling that Mia is going to kill Light at the end of all of this and that they’re going to try to make another movie or something. Please don’t do that Netflix.
 RYUK WAS NOT LIKE THIS. I AM ACTUALLY CRYING.
 I need Light to kill Mia, probably, because this bull shit of her going rogue.
 They’re getting this shit right, though, because she’s being manipulative and sociopathic and it’s pretty good. It’s a predictable twist and kind of pathetic and I hate everything.
 Why did Netflix have to ruin this shit.
WHY DID THEY FEEL THE NEED TO RUIN IT?!
 DEATH NOTE WAS A GEM AS IT EXISTED IN IT’S ORIGINAL STATE.
 I think that he should just write that she dies at 11:59 so that he can watch her ass die in his final moments. That’s how this movie needs to end for it to redeem itself.
 Honestly, this would make a really popular fanfiction. Probably hundreds of reviews and hundreds of thousands of views – and I would’ve been happier with it being a fanfiction.
 THIS LORD KIRA EX MACHINA SHIT OMG
 Let’s remember that this doesn’t qualify as an original and I’m trying to calm the fuck down and I just need this to be over.
 I really just hope that they both die. I mean, if they could do that for me because in the manga/anime – they do both die and I think they need to keep at least that much accurate.
 THIS MOVIE IS SUCH A JOKE OMG
 Did he magically lose consciousness? Is she dead? There are questions that need answering.
 I am so mad because they’ve basically confirmed there will be a second film… And I cannot believe that this is going to even happen. I have so much feelings right now.
 Hate feelings, mostly, but if this wasn’t an anime/manga – this would be pretty dope. I have to give Netflix some credit there. I honestly think that for as much fucking this up as they’ve done – that there are things that are working.
 The hyper-Americanization of it really leaves a sour taste in my mouth – but it’s not TERRIBLE. It is very fucked up and terrible and rotten and I want it to be RIGHT. But… since it cannot be right… AT LEAST IT IS GOOD.
  L WRITING LIGHT’S NAME IS THE MOST MAKING ME DED THING EVER
  And that open ended ending makes me feel like I need some alcohol.
 So I’m going to rate this like…
 3.5/5. It’s better than average and has it’s spectacular moments, but the numerous plot holes were inexcusable at times. I could have handled the Americanization and the AU sense – IF, and only IF – the characters had been more accurate to their original incarnations. If those characterizations had been more accurate, I think I would have been a little bit less upset about the other changes.
 Honestly, if you can set yourself aside from the wild differences, it’s worth the watch.
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