#anyway going back to being antisocial and resting nobody mind me <3

[softceleste]

Madeline Ford in Grasshoppers (2021)

Please do not save, repost, or edit these gifs for any reason, use the reblog button instead. Also please do not interact if you’re a celeb rp blog or if you write taboo content on your blog, thank you!

[chibinekochan]

Angel in Hell - Part 4

Obey me! Angel Reader Au.

Gen. reader insert.

Read the other parts first. part 1 | part 2 | Part 3 |

~4k words

Taglist:

@gothjuulpod  ; @purgatoryhall ; 

*message me if you want to be on here*

_______________

"Hey there, umm are you ready to go?" Mammon doesn't seem to have any school supplies with him but you don't want to be rude.

"Sure, lead the way." You smile at him. 

Together you head to class. You are glad that someone brings you.

  Then Mammon stops in front of a classroom. "This is it. This is Belphie. I bet Lucifer dragged him here himself." Mammon laughs, pointing at the sleeping Belphie. 

"Alright, thank you for bringing me Mammon." You bow to him. 

"Don't sweat it. I will bring you back but I've got work to do. Too damn bad." Mammon sighs. 

"What kind of work are you doing?" You are kind of curious. 

"Why are you...? Oh right… I'm a model. I should bring a magazine to you later then I can show you how cool I am." Mammon laughs, seemingly pumped up. 

"I would like to see that." You smile, happy to have discovered something interesting. 

"Alright then, I will be off now. Hey Belphie, wake up and explain the classes." Mammon shouts in Belphie. 

Who growans in response.

"It's so annoying, keep it down. I'm sleeping here." Belphie doesn't move. He isn't fazed at all. 

"Don't forget what Lucifer told you. You better not mess this up, Belphie. I will see you later." Mammon sighs and smiles at you. 

"Sure, see you later." You look after him running off. 

"Ah well, come here. Sit next to me. Lucky for you Beel has a game today." Belphie waves you over, with minimal movement. 

"Alright. Beel is your twin right?" You remember what Simeon told you. 

"Yeah, he is. Usually, he sits next to me. You would… I mean you can sit over there starting tomorrow." Belphie points to the seat at the next table over, the seat next right next to Beels. 

"I see that's nice of you." You give him a light smile. 

"Sure…you should also take notes for me. I just can't stay awake all day in class you know." Belphie shoves his book over to you.

You sit down next to him.

  "You should do your own work but since I borrowed the books from you today I will help you out." You think he is being a bit unfair but you can't complain too much. 

"You're always a good person aren't you? No surprise that you became an angel." Belphie sighs, sounding strangely angry. 

You feel kinda hurt by his comment. 

"Only good people become angels but just for your information it's incredibly rude to tell angels that they were human before." 

"Did I hit a sore spot there? I guess that's something they would teach. That humans are something to be ashamed of? Pretty ironic, seeing as some of their best were human before." Belphie seems just as hurt as you are. 

"Do you know a human like that?" You find it a bit difficult to believe. 

"I don't know what crap they teach you in holy university but yes I knew a great human. Someone truly deserving to become an angel but to be honest they should've become a demon instead." Belphie seems so hurt. It stings you. 

You aren't sure what to say to him." I'm sorry Belphie…" You know what you just said was rude and honestly, you don't want to see him hurt. 

"I know you didn't mean anything by it. It's not your fault that you got your head full of this angel bs." Belphie sighs.

"You've been an angel but yet you say such bad things about them." You shake your head. 

"I don't fault you for this but I know how screwed up they are from personal experience." Belphie seems to be having a hard time meeting your eyes. 

You aren't sure what to say about this. You have been told about how they started a war and then were banned from the heavens. It's probably a bad idea to go deeper into this.

"I guess we can't be on the same page on this issue." You feel a bit bad but it can't be helped. He is a demon in the end so it makes sense that you have some fundamental differences.

"If you knew their true face you would agree with me but you are right. Let's just talk about nicer things from now on." Belphie desperately wants to change the topic. It seems like he regrets even bringing it up. 

"That's alright with me." You nod to strengthen your agreement. 

"So what kind of pillows do you prefer? You know I personally prefer them soft and fluffy." Belphie seems to just change to the first topic that crosses his mind. 

"I like them soft and umm square-shaped?" You aren't sure what Belphie really expects you to say. 

"How do you feel about round pillows?" Belphie seems pleased enough with your answer. 

"They are good to rest my arm on but they aren't good for sleeping." You honestly have no clue where this conversation is going but at least it's pleasant.

  Then the teacher enters the room and you and Belphie quiet down. 

Lunch Break is approaching. Accompanied by your stomach noises. 

This apparently woke Belphie up again. After you tried and failed to quietly keep him awake the entire class.

  "Is it time to eat?" Belphie asks you, in a sleepy tone. 

"Yeah." You nod and feel slightly embarrassed about your stomach. 

"Great, I'm getting hungry just by sitting next to you." Belphie chuckles. 

You flush pink. "You heard it didn't you?" 

"Haha yeah, it's kinda hard to overhear." He smiles and stretches. "Come let's go! If we are lucky they still have your favorite." Belphie slowly stands up. 

"My favorite? How would you know that?" You tilt your head in confusion. 

"Oh, I meant I'm sure that you will love it. Sorry, still waking up." Belphie waves you off and yawns as if to prove his point.

"Hmm alright then." His statement confuses you but you let it slide.

  Together you head to the dining hall. 

Belphie chooses something and points the meal out that he is sure you will love. You are still kinda confused but take it anyway. 

Together you walk to a table. You spot Satan and Levi already sitting there and eating, without saying a word.

  "Hey, you two." You greet them and sit down. Across from Satan, right between Levi and Belphie. 

"Hey, how is your first day of school going so far?" Satan asks. 

"Pretty good so far." You have no real complaints. 

"If you need someone to tutor you. Please don't hesitate to ask me." Satan offers you in a friendly manner. 

"That's very nice of you Satan." You smile at him. 

"You have become such a suck-up." Belphie sighs. 

"Shut up. Nobody cares what you have to add, just being nice." Satan glares at Belphie.

  You feel like the atmosphere just got ten degrees colder. 

"Sure, whatever you say." Belphie glares back at Satan. 

"Please don't fight guys. Lucifer will only get mad and he is already on the edge." Levi meekly tries to calm them down. 

Both demons sigh and pick at their food. 

You feel sweat on your back and just start to eat. "This is really good." It's pretty surprising.

  "Well duh, it's your favorite after all." Levi giggles. 

You look confused at him. He is the 2nd one to mention that. 

"Don't mind him, this meal is just popular among angels. Isn't that right Satan?" Belphie shoots daggers at Satan. 

"Yeah, that's right." Satan glares back. 

"Ah yeah… t-that's right…s-sorry I'm being dumb again d-d-don't mind me, nothing to see here." Levi wildly flails his arms around. 

"I see, but you guys really say some strange stuff sometimes." You can't help but feel a bit suspicious. 

"That's because we are bad demons and if you don't watch out we are going to gobble you right up." Belphie is obviously being sarcastic, at least you hope he is. 

"Don't be weird, Belphie. We would never eat you! " Satan is very stern when he says that.

"Yeah, that would just be wrong. You just got ba - I mean you only arrived. It's not like you have ever been here…" Levi starts to stumble over his own words again. Only to get interrupted by Satan and Belphie. 

"SHUT UP LEVI!" Both of them yell at the same time.

  Levi immediately pipes up. At least the two have something they agree on? 

"It would be very bad if you would eat me." You aren't sure what else to add. 

"Well in that case just stay away from me." Belphie seems awfully cold to you.

  Maybe he hates angels after all? 

It hurts quite a bit. 

Satan shakes his head and Levi keeps on picking at his food until he suddenly stands up and runs off. 

You are confused about why he just ran off and look confused at Satan. "Don't mind Levi, he is antisocial." Satan then focuses back on his own meal. 

The rest of the lunch is rather awkward.

  You just finish your meal and then trot back to class.

  There you are surprised to find Beel. “Ah Beel, is your game already over?”

“Yeah, the other team just went home crying. I was being nice but then I got hungry and just made a good 1000 points. So they ran away.” Beel shrugs as if this was nothing.

“Wow, that's very impressive.” You can't imagine it to be honest.

“Haha, it was nothing really.” Beel is sheepishly laughing.

“Well, now where Beel is back you can share books with him,” Belphie states coldly and sits down.

“I don't mind but did something happen between you two?” Beel seems confused.

“Nothing happened. I just don't want them closer than they have to be.” Belphie speaks curtly and barely even looks at you.

“Belphie don't be mean. They have done nothing to deserve this.” Beel sighs, his expression is complicated.

“I don't mind sitting over here instead.” You don't want the situation to get even worse. You quietly get to your place right next to Beel.

“We will talk later about this Belphie but don't be mean.” Beel sounds very serious.

  It's nice that Beel stands up for you, even when you don't fully understand Belphies’ issue. You only know that it really hurts.

Belphie sighs and lays on his desk, ending the discussion.

  Beel shakes his head. “I apologize ... he has been through a lot. He doesn't mean it. Just give him some time. We all just need to get used to this.” Beel breathes heavily but his apology seems genuine.

“It's alright. I'm an angel it must be very strange for you all to live with me and then the room I'm staying in...it's also somehow hard for you...We all get used to this eventually. At least I hope we will.” You aren't sure what to say or what to feel right now. You certainly will try at least.

“It's just that you...it's not because of the room or that you are an angel...it's just you know hard…” Beel has a grim expression on his face. 

“I don't understand but I will do my best I promise.” You are sure that you can solve this somehow.

“And that is exactly how we even ended up in this situation…” Belphie grumbles.

“Belphie!” Beel glares at Belphie. 

Belphie just looks away and places his head on his arms, hiding his face on his desk.

“Please don't mind him, just give him some space.” Beels face twists, he must hide a lot of pain.

“It's alright we have a lot of time ahead of us to get to know each other better.” You give Beel a light smile. There are no bridges that are built in one day.

  Beel nods a little and the class starts again.

Whatever happened surely created a big impact on all of them.

You try not to mind it and move forward but it still weighs on your heart and mind.

  You try to just focus on the classes for the rest of the day and then quietly head home with the twins.

  Somehow today's events still pester your mind so you decide to pay Simeon and Luke a visit.

You give them a quick heads up, luckily they are free.

  Simeon picks you up at the entrance of their dorm. The damage that has been taken is still very visible. You wonder what made Satan this angry? 

“Welcome, let's go to our room. So we can talk in private. Luke made sweets. He is very excited to see you. Even when it's only been a day.” Simeon giggles.

You smile, imagining the excited Luke running around, making sweets. “Thank you, Simeon. I hope that I don't bug you.”

“Nonsense. You are always welcome. Our room might as well be your room.” Simeon smiles gently.

“You are always being so nice to me Simeon. I wonder how I deserve such an honor.” You never found a reason for his niceness. He is truly an angel in every sense of the word.

“Don't think about it too much. Just know that you certainly deserve it and don't forget that you are basically my cute little student.” He giggles lightly.

You remember how much he taught you and nod. “I just hope that I can live up to such high praise.” 

“There is no need for that, keep being you and here we are.” Simeon stops in front of a room. 

You can see two names on the door. Luke and Simeon.

  Simeon opens the door. You can tell that they already decorated it to their liking. Then you see Luke, who is practically beaming at you. You smile kindly at him.

“Come on in.” Luke welcomes you with a big smile and you step inside.

  Simeon closes the door behind you and joins you and Luke on the table. It seems that they have already prepared for you since the table is filled with sweet treats and you can see a pot of tea.

The sight alone makes you smile.

You get served a cup of tea and have a sip of it. It fills you with pleasant warmth.

  "This is so good. Is this tea from the Demon Realm?" You've never tasted anything like it before. 

"That is right. Barbatos taught me how to make it." Luke is rightfully proud. 

"It's great you're getting along with demons. I'm a bit envious." You smile and cast your eyes into your cup. Giving a small sigh. 

"I don't get along with all of the demons!" Luke seems slightly offended. 

Simeon gives him a slightly delighted giggle. 

"Just take it as a compliment Luke, and you'll surely be able to connect with the brothers soon enough. This isn't a race, just get to know them and find common ground." Simeon provides you with his advice, in his usual kind manner. 

"I know. I don't plan to let this get me down but today I kinda butt heads with one of them and now I wonder what I can do to fix this." Making another small sigh, recalling Belphies' cold remarks. 

"Did you have an argument with one of them? Who was it?" Simeon seems mildly surprised. 

"It was Belphie. It was mainly my fault. I think I said some hurtful things." You still feel guilty about it. 

"You can only make an honest apology and hope that you two can make up. You should reflect on what exactly hurt him or made him lash out. I don't think that everything is lost between you two. I'm sure you can move past this with some effort." Simeon smiles kindly. 

His words give you much to think about. 

"You are right. Thank you, Simeon. I will think about this. I surely will find an opportunity to have a proper conversation with Belphie." You won't give up that much, that's for sure. 

"Don't feel bad! I'm sure it was Belphies’ fault anyway." Luke tries to cheer you up.

"I know you mean well but I was definitely insensitive." You give Luke a sad smile. 

"It's alright. Don't beat yourself up. I just want to apologize and try to move on. We all make mistakes." Simeon pats your shoulder, as a sign of support. 

You nod. "You are right. I will apologize to him after dinner. He is bound to show up for that." You motivate yourself. 

"That sounds like a great plan. Let me know how it goes." Simeon smiles in an encouraging way. 

"I'm sure it will work out just fine but now let's have some cake." Luke smiles and you nod.

  The desserts really do look great and some sugar sounds great right now. 

You indulge in a few sweet treats, under the eyes of the beaming Luke and the smiling Simeon. 

It's a very enjoyable time.

  You return to your room and finish your homework and read a little bit before dinner time. 

Sadly, Belphie is nowhere to be found at dinner time. It's pretty disappointing. 

You decide to talk to Beel instead. 

"Do you know where Belphie is?" 

"He is asleep in our room. I think he feels kinda bad today." Beel replies in a friendly manner. 

"Oh, I see. Is it because of me?" You feel a pang of guilt. 

"Oh no, I don't think it's because of you… It's just been a lot for him." Beel doesn't meet your eyes. 

You wonder if he is lying or just trying to protect everyone's feelings. 

"I see… do you think that there is anything I can do for him?" You don't want to push too much but still show that you care. 

"You are very nice but I think that he just needs space. I think he is feeling guilty too." Beel looks at you like he is begging you to understand. 

"Okay, I'll gladly give him space… Could you just tell him to get better from me?" You understand that Belphie needs time to get used to you being here but you want to make sure that Belphie knows that you aren't mad at him or anything. 

"Sure, I will let him know and just talk to him tomorrow. Until then he will be better again." Beel smiles and nods.

"Thank you, Beel. Oh, I have some treats from Luke can you give one to Belphie? You can have the rest." You hand Beel a small bag with a few treats. 

Maybe these will help to smooth things over? 

Beel beams at the sweets. "It will be hard but… I will give Belphie at least one." Beel looks like he is already struggling to hold back. 

"I appreciate it, Beel." You smile at him.

  Then you head to the library, for some studying. 

There is so much you still have to learn. Especially now with your new school books. 

You arrive in the library and find Satan sitting there, with a stack of books in front of him. 

Since you don't want to bother him you quietly head over to the shelves. 

"Good evening. Do you need anything specific? I have most of the layout here memorized." Satan looks up and has a small smile on his face. 

"Good evening Satan. Sorry I didn't mean to bother you. I just want to read up on some of the demon history and maybe some other things. I read the ones we have in heaven of course but I want to read them from the demons point of view as well." You politely smile. 

Satan lays his book on the table and gets up." Give me a moment." He heads over to some shelves. 

You watch him a bit stunned, as Satan quickly scans the shelves and then takes a thick book off the shelf. 

"This should be the best book to start. It's a comprehensive guide to the history of the Devildom. It's very helpful to gain a good understanding of the basics." Satan proceeds to carry the heavy book to the table. 

"That is very nice of you Satan." You smile kindly at him. It's a bit unexpected for you that he would go out of his way for you. Especially since he was so strange earlier. 

"Just see it as my way of apologizing. I know lunch was a bit awkward. I mean it was mainly my brother's fault but I know that I wasn't too nice either." Satan seems to be very troubled somehow. 

"In that case, I gladly accept the apology, but I think it was my fault that Belphie was in a bad mood. I hurt him more than I initially thought." You sigh. You really need to be more careful with your words. 

"Don't let that bother you. He is always like this. He will eventually get back to being normal. Belphie is just a bit prickly sometimes." Satan doesn't seem to be concerned at all. 

"I still want to apologize to him when I see him again." You can't help yourself, it's just your nature. 

“You have such a kind heart you need to be more careful or you will get badly hurt.” Satan looks a bit troubled. 

You can tell that he is sincere. “I will keep that in mind Satan.”

“No matter how it might look, we all want you to feel at home here. There are just some circumstances that make it rather difficult.” Satan shows a rare somber expression. 

“I wonder if you will ever tell me about those circumstances.” You give Satan a sad look.

“Trust me I would if I could.” He smiles slightly and you want to believe him.

You aren't sure what he can't tell you but it obviously weighs on him, on all of the brothers.

  Somehow you want to make them feel better. It's so strange that you feel this way since you have just met them all. 

You get to read your heavy book and Satan goes back to his own reading.

  It's quite pleasant. 

Sometime later your reading gets interrupted.

  "I'm sorry to interrupt but I'd like to talk to you for a little bit." It's Lucifer. He speaks in a calm manner. 

"Sure, let me just put this book back." You don't have any clue what he wants from you but of course, you do as told. 

"I can do that for you. It's very heavy." Satan doesn't acknowledge Lucifer. 

"That's nice but don't worry I got this. I'm stronger than I look." You don't have many issues lifting the book. 

"Ah yes… you are stronger than a human." Satan turns grim for a moment. 

You don't know why he said this. It's a bit confusing. You put the book back in its place. "Have a good night Satan." You give him a light smile.

"You too. Sleep well." Satan nods. 

You turn to Lucifer, who is still waiting at the door. 

He doesn't say a word to Satan. It's a pretty icy atmosphere.

  Lucifer leads you to his office. 

"Come sit down. I will make us something to drink. Coffee or tea?" Lucifer heads over to his desk. 

You never expected to be offered tea by the infamous Lucifer. 

He seems surprisingly casual. 

"Tea please." You look around his office. It looks just like you pictured it. You decide to sit down. 

Lucifer follows after you, placing your cup in front of you. "It's devil black tea. I'm sure it will be to your liking."

You wonder why all these demons seem to know your preferences but you aren't one to argue. 

"Thank you, Lucifer." You take a small sip. It's really good. This is the 2nd time that they are right. A strange coincidence? 

"So, now to what I wanted to talk to you about. First of all, I hope that you find everything to your liking so far. I know it's quite a lot and my brothers are a handful but knowing that you are an angel I'm sure  you are doing just fine." Lucifer seems to be correcting himself right in the middle there. 

You wonder if he meant to say something else. 

"I don't have any complaints. I'm sure with giving time I will become friends with everyone." You give him a determined look. 

Lucifer gives you a small laugh. "That is pretty much what I expected to hear from you."

Then his face shifts. "I'm sure you have already noticed that my brothers acting strangely around you...the whole debacle with the room made this unnecessarily cruel to them." Lucifer sighs. "I will be blunt here in the room...it belonged to someone very important to me and my brothers. They are no longer with us… it's still a sore topic for them and us. You must forgive them for acting strange around you. I'm sure they will eventually get used to this." Lucifer speaks slowly, every word seems to hurt him. 

It's just as you suspected. "I'm so sorry…" You don't even know what to say. You feel a stabbing pain in your heart. 

"It's painful but I assure you that it's not really about you. Just know that I will do my best to make this as easy as possible for all of us. Including you." Lucifer seems to try to make you feel better. 

You appreciate his efforts. 

"Can I ask you a question about the owner of the room?" You have a suspicion about them. 

"Sure, go ahead." Lucifer's face seems to harden. 

"Were they human?" What Belphie said earlier echoes in your head. 

Lucifer takes a slightly relieved breath. "Yes, that is right. They started out as an exchange student but over time they became… an important part of our family." Lucifer has a smile on his face, it looks calm and painful. 

"Thank you for telling me." Some of the puzzle pieces fall into place for you. This explains Belphies’ reaction. You feel guilty. 

Lucifer looks into his cup. You wonder what he is thinking.

"I hope this answers your questions for now." Lucifer suddenly seems very tired. 

"Yes, I apologize for being insensitive." You probably shouldn't ask anything else. 

"You had the right to know. Now let's call this a night. It's getting late." Lucifer seems to be done with this topic. 

You can only nod. "You are right. I will head back to my room. Have a good night Lucifer." 

"Yes, sleep well." Lucifer has a shadow on his face but he still gives you a polite smile.

  You smile back and then head to your room. 

Thoughts swirl in your head until you pass out. 

[supersugatrash]

Welcome. First Time with BTS? Drabble #01

A/N: Annyeong! So, you’re probably wondering why the hell I’ve been working on a drabble rather than the actual story. Welp, I kept thinking about how Taehyung became the way he is now and what was going through his head during the party. Well, 2.6k words later, here we are. I don’t know if I will make regular drabbles from now on, but maybe from time to time. Hope you enjoy… whatever this is.

Genre: Gang/Mafia!AU; Taehyung POV; Angst; Fluff

Word Count: 2633

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14

Warnings: Strong Language, Mental & Physical Abuse, Antisocial Personality Disorder (Sociopathy) – You have been warned.

“Antisocial personality disorder with sociopathic tendencies.” Those were the words the psychiatrist used to describe Taehyung when he was only ten. They echoed in his head like a chant that day as he was sitting at the large wooden dining table and mindlessly poked around in his elaborate meal. He was angry, angry at the world for not understanding him, for not seeing him as normal. He blamed everyone else for making him the way he was. He blamed everyone but himself.

A few years before, he was still craving attention when he blew up his neighbour’s mailbox with a firecracker. Attention from his father, his mother, anyone. But what he got was not at all what he was looking for. No words were spoken as he received his punishment in the form of a stern look, followed by a firm slap across his face from the man he had looked up to. The disappointment in his father’s eyes every time he failed him as an heir and son was something Taehyung would never forget.

But the abuse didn't stop there. Mister Kim blamed the young boy when his mother left them only a year later. "She did it because you're a disgrace. She is ashamed of you," he'd say and the child believed him. Taehyung was angry with himself for driving his parents away from him, for not being more loveable. But eventually, the guilt faded.

When Taehyung was fourteen, he started staying out until the early morning hours. He would spend all night picking fights with people he had outwitted and getting into trouble for hitting on the wrong girls. He was incredibly smart for his age, most of the time finding easy ways to escape dangerous situations just by talking it out or because of his expert levels of deception, but he would eventually mess with the wrong people.

Not even a hint of remorse was left when Taehyung was sixteen, his father's words numbing any emotion he could have. "I will no longer tolerate this behaviour. From today onward I do not have a son." His father said when Taehyung called him from jail, asking him to pay his bail. Being disowned by his own family should have hurt him, it should have broken him, but there was nothing. He expected this to happen, he wrote his father off as unreliable and heartless years ago, so he hung up on him with a straight face and waited.

He waited in his cell for two days when he was suddenly facing someone he had only heard stories about, someone he had never met in person until that day; The owner of The Slaughterhouse and leader of Bangtan Sonyeondan. The infamous Kim Namjoon.

"I'm only helping you out on one condition,” Namjoon said to him as they looked at each other through the bars. “I want you to join us.”

---

You had shut yourself in for only a day and Taehyung already noticed the change in everyone's behaviour. Nobody felt like going out, nobody was talking about anything other than you and Hoseok, nobody was interested in him any longer. And soon he was bored out of his mind. Where was all the excitement they felt before? Having you around spiced things up tremendously and Taehyung was enjoying himself for the first time in years with all the action your addition to the group brought. But now all of it was gone. Just because of a simple mistake Hoseok had made on one of his jobs that lead to him being followed to his home and getting shot.

Taehyung needed to change something and quick. He couldn't help Hoseok, he was no miracle worker, but maybe he could get you to open up. Some people are difficult to figure out, but most of the time all it took was a story. A story that would connect him to the other person on a deeper level – even if he had to embellish the truth just a little bit. Telling you about the first person he had murdered was sure to do the trick.

As soon as you started talking and eating again, his brothers became more active as well. He was once again welcome to visit Jungkook at home and observe the people on the street through the wall of monitors and Seokjin invited him over to his place to pick up the food he had prepared. Even Namjoon started giving him minor tasks again and slowly getting the business back on track. Finally, Taehyung had something to do again. Something that wasn't listening to everyone's complaints. And all it took was to spend some time with you.

He had to admit it, you weren’t so bad to have around. At least when you weren’t so depressed about everything. You were funny, had your heart in the right place and you weren’t too bad on the eyes either. If the situation hadn’t been so fucked up he could have even imagined himself making serious advances towards you. But then again, he wasn’t interested in a love quadrangle.

---

His first real job, after a week of miniscule tasks, finally came around. Namjoon had instructed him to go to a party and find a certain person that held information of utmost importance to Bangtan. All he had to do was talk, while Jimin got his hands dirty. It was nothing to Taehyung, a job you would give to a newbie, but it was something. Within seconds he thought of multiple ways to sneak in, but ultimately decided the easiest approach would be the front door. He knew the people at the event, he knew the ins and outs of the world they lived in. After all, he was part of the same society for most of his life. And then he got an idea.

“There’s this party tonight the boss wants me to attend, but I’m having a hard time finding a plus one.” He saw the curiosity in your eyes the moment he had mentioned something about his job. Of course he didn’t have trouble finding someone, if he wanted he could have shown up with ten girls on each arm to the gathering, but he simply hadn’t asked anyone else. You were the only one he wanted by his side that evening. Not for sentimental reasons, of course, he simply thought it would be fun. You were in no way trained to act appropriately in those kinds of situations, it was sure to be an eventful evening.

Patiently, he waited for your response, though the outcome was already clear the second he told you about the party. “I can come with you.” It was almost too easy, as if he had put the words in your mouth himself. But there was still a hint of uncertainty in your voice, a tone that carried all your hesitation, which was immediately erased the second he tried to talk you out of it.

---

For the first time in over five years, Taehyung was standing in front of his father. It was the first time he had felt uneasy in a while as he inspected the man that threw him out of his house, parading around a woman who might as well had been his older sister. To make matters worse he had called Taehyung son, as if it was a word that carried any kind of meaning to him.

The only form of comfort Taehyung had that night was knowing you were there. You weren’t going to betray him, at least not on that specific evening, you were simply too kind and naïve.

“So, Hanna is your girlfriend? Why have I never met her before?”

Taehyung couldn’t help but scoff at his father’s words. “I don’t know, father. Maybe because you disowned your own son when he needed your help the most?”

“Don’t start anything with me now, son. People could hear your baseless accusations.”

“Ah, yes. I forgot your image meant more to you than the well-being of your child.” He rolled his eyes, the nerves the man in front of him had to tell him what to do were actually laughable. “It would be outrageous if people would think of you as anything other than a loving father.”

“How dare you speak to me this way? I have given you everything you needed and you still turned out to be a disrespectful child.” His father didn’t need to raise his voice to carry out a heavy feeling within Taehyung. But those feelings weren’t pain, all he felt was anger for letting him continuously lie to his face. He worked hard for his father’s attention when he was young. He may have been fed and dressed, but that was nothing compared to the love he always craved.

“Well, at least you have one child with you tonight that’s willing to fulfil every single one of your ridiculous demands. How is that gold-digging wench of yours doing anyways?” Taehyung had a smug smile on his face as he spoke to the man, proud of the insults he had thrown around towards him and his stepmother. But his father wasn’t as pleased as him. Without a warning he attempted to slap Taehyung across the face, but he managed to duck just in time. Too many times had he been on the receiving end of his violence when he was a child, but now he was an adult with the graceful reflexes and speed of a peregrine falcon.

“I see you are still the same violent bastard you have always been.” Taehyung straitened his clothes as he spoke and looked the man in front of him straight in the eyes. “If you’d excuse me, I have more important matters to attend to.” And with that, he left his father, who was fuming with rage at the aggravating encounter, standing by himself.

Besides the little hiccup with his father, the rest of the night went smoothly for Taehyung. He quickly identified his target as he made idle chit-chat with multiple other people and called Jimin to take care of business. Within ten minutes of his go, the short man was inside the venue and knocked out the target. Perfect. Now all they needed was a little distraction.

---

Taehyung was pleased with himself as every step of his plan seamlessly fell into place. The proposal went smoothly, even though he was worried for just a second you might refuse him his victory, and Jimin got away without being spotted. This called for celebration.

As the two of you swayed to the music on the dancefloor, Taehyung noticed a shimmer as he looked into your eyes and it triggered something within him. Something he hadn’t felt before. Something he thought nobody else deserved from him. Ba-bump. His cheeks turned a peachy shade of pink as he felt his heart beat freely for the first time. Ba-bump. Ba-bump. An unsteady beat that overpowered the rhythm of the music. As he went to dip you, he felt as if the small of your back was made for his hand, and his only. What was this feeling? It couldn’t have been…

Love is all that I can give to you. Love is more than just a game for two.

It felt as if that single word was mocking him as it stuck out to him like a sore thumb. Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump. He was sure you could feel his heart was about to jump out of his chest, so he quickly took a deep breath before he spoke. “Y/N-ah,” it was the first time he called you by your name and it scared him how perfect it sounded. Your enjoyed hum against his skin didn’t help either as he had to swallow every bit of nervousness. “I hate to ruin the mood, but we need to get going.” You didn’t, but he did. It was concerning to him how comfortable he felt around you. Was this what genuine affection felt like?

“Please, Taehyung-ah,” he blinked once, twice when you said his name. You said it so softly, so sweet and innocent, yet there was this need for more; a need for him. Nothing could ever compare to how it made him feel like you were just his. “just one more song.” For the first time in his life, he felt at peace. He had been happy many times, but this joy was entirely different, it felt more honest than he had ever been. It reminded him of his childhood, this was what he had always been wanting. Taehyung let out a soft chuckle as he continued holding onto you tightly, afraid the second he’d let go he would realise this moment never actually happened.

Ba-bump.

---

As soon as you stepped out of the mansion, you were no longer Taehyung and Hanna. He could no longer allow himself to be deceived by the fantasy he had created. Especially since he was so certain you were merely playing along to keep up the act. He simply couldn’t face you anymore with the emotions in his head driving him crazy. As he walked off, gratified with how the night turned out, he noticed you stopping in your tracks, seemingly a million miles away from him. “You coming, noona?” he was looking at you expectantly, but he continued walking as if he was running away from the urge to go back to the world where the two of you could have been.

As you quietly stomped past him, he was confused. Why weren’t you just as thrilled as him about the successful act the two of you kept up? When you sat down on the bench, he immediately joined you, as if he was pulled towards your very being by a rubber band.

“What was that stunt all about?” Your question was filled with emotions and on top of that list was your anger. As you waited for the car and continued speaking in that tone, one word continuously spun around in his head. Why? Why were you so angry? Why were you not smiling anymore? Why did it feel like every time he looked at your sad face he was burning up inside?

The car ride back to the practice was quiet, but he needed the silence. It was as if his mind couldn’t function anymore, the same word continuously flashing up like a virus. Nothing made sense anymore.

When the vehicle came to a halt in front of the familiar building, he couldn’t keep quiet anymore. He simply had to know. “Hey,” his voice was small, like that of a child that had just been scolded, his usual confidence nowhere to be seen. “We’re still good, right, noona?”

The second the words had left his lips he had realised something. He couldn’t read you anymore, the simple fact he had to ask about your feelings made it clear. The lines between Hanna and Y/N were too blurred as he searched your eyes for an answer.

“No.” It was the saddest word in every language in response to that question. He was thinking about every possible reply you could have given him, except that one. But before he could get another word in, you rushed out of the car and went inside, without looking back at him once.

That night he was lying on his bed. He thought about his past, about the party, but the one thing that kept him awake was you. The way you looked at him with that same disappointed look in your eyes as everybody else in his life pained him. But it was that same night when he realised for the first time how agonising it felt to be hurt by someone he cared for.