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[ladyofthecreeddraws]

Hi. I blacked out again. :)

Based on Chapter 3 of @molgars' Reprise aka the "armandaniel fic of the century". To me.

[heartorbit]

figure skating set right now please. thanks

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[girlboyburger]

you better not be freeing your mind at night

[bougiebutchbinch]

smh there are people in this fandom who dislike wanessa??? she got wade from 'hmm. I don't know. nope. don't think I like this' while being pegged to 'CAN EVERY DAY BE INTERNATIONAL WOMAN'S DAY IN HEAVEN??? VANESSA CAN YOU IMPREGNATE ME WITH YOUR STRAP PLESAEPLEASEPLeASePlEase'

she trained him up

she was the first to make him beg for that dick!!

everyone say THANK YOU VANESSA!!!

[judasisgayriot]

Signed in Blood

[ckret2]

Can Bill tell Soos anything about Soos's father just to piss off Abuelita? After all, he likes to piss.

Axolotl, I hope this joke isn't too stupid.

Anon, I am eyeing you with the deepest suspicion.

Anyway—

Bill can tell Soos tons about his father.

Bill would never piss off Abuelita.

After Mabel, Abuelita is the one person in the house Bill least wants to piss off. His first full day in the shack, she tried to poison him with a genial, inscrutable calm; and remained genially inscrutably calm when he called her out on it. That's a stone-cold killer. She wasn't afraid to try to kill Bill Cipher and she wasn't afraid when she was caught trying to kill Bill Cipher. He respects her and slightly fears her. So far, she's the only human who's outright tried to kill him since his reincarnation, and he feels there's very little keeping her from trying again.

If that weren't a concern though, he might occasionally make jabs about Soos's dad to him—and why stop there, his mom is a sore spot too—not to piss off Abuelita but just to bully Soos.

[b4kuch1n]

blood loss edition

[quaranmine]

does anyone have any ideas for treating headaches if you're not supposed to be taking NSAIDs? please note that tylenol and acetaminophen DO NOT work for me. i know tumblr isn't a doctor but i'm crowdsourcing here

[liceparade]

i could fill an entire blog with rise of skywalker hate but aside from piss-poor pacing, scenes written like vague outlines, and baffling choices like force dyad and palpatine.....?????, so much of this shitfest of a movie feels like it was filmed over zoom even though it wasn't. rey and kylo aren't even in the same location most of the time. rey spends half the movie staring off into space. finn and poe might have been kidnapped and forced to record tiktoks. chewie is exploded and unexploded within 5 minutes. leia dies in a way where we don't even know why she dies until 25 minutes later. after talking to a rather grumpy harrison ford, kylo doesn't speak until the runtime of the film? don't get me started about hux. star destroyers rise out of the sea like pirates of the carribean and are all starkillers now?????? the jedi of the past have a gal gadot style believe tiktok medley and rey blasts palpatine's skin off and then DIES???? something sad happens and the pixar lamp droid literally says "Sad"????????? HAN CONFRONTS KYLP AND THEY LITERALLY ADLIB LINES FROM TFA AT EACH OTHER UNTIL ?????? EPIPHANY ????? despite having an established backstory and parents who fought at yavin poe is a drug dealer (???????) rose is ??? absent ??? and finn does not say a single substantial word related to his character at all???? this movie actually got written funded AND made??????????

[fairmerthefarmer]

Dryads

[gayferrari]

Bringing back the horny vibes by saying that some of the drivers this year (and those stupid hot TikTok edits) made me rethink my whole sexuality and I went from being a confident lesbian to “maybe I like 1% of men”

I sit safe in the knowledge that I find them hot in the way a fictional character can be hot... you know that clip of Aragorn opening the doors? That lives in the same space in my brain as Lewis's hands do :3 I'm not gonna fuck you but I want you to get fucked kinda vibes

[kirkwallguy]

decided i will remain neutral on the combat until i actually play it but realising all the people comparing it to ac odyssey were doing so favourably made me go ohhh. perhaps this one just isn't designed for me.

[forged-in-kaoss]

流れ星 :: "Ya-hoo! Ore wa nagareboshi! Shooting Luffytaro! Enjoy, go!" :: Nagareboshi ga furisosoideruzo

[bi-panic-at-the-disco]

he would be so smelly

[marimbles]

the agony of enjoying MULTIPLE THINGS AT ONCE. How do people do it….