#anyway fluctuating a bit I think I'm settling

[egginfroggin]

Hey so I think I figured out what's behind my recent spike of anxiety and all the fun things that go with it

Chocolate covered coffee beans apparently have like. a lot of caffeine in them

And caffeine can linger a while

So yeah like. Caffeine isn't good for me apparently. I figured as such but you know it's nice to know for sure at least

[iworshipsappho]

hii could you tell me a bit more about ceres if you don't mind? :] idk if you've talked about your oc before but I must've missed it and I'm curious now :]]]]

OMG HIHIHIIII

I LOVE TALKING ABOUT CERES!!!!!!! fuck yeah >:33

well i havent really spoken about him much online seeing as to the fact that most of my thoughts and rambles concerning them is usually sent in rapid fire succession to my beloved @foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland <33

BUT i'm always happy to talk about ceres :33

ok so basically i got obseesed with dnd a few months or so back and Ceres is my first ever proper oc!!! i love them so muchhh fr. at first they started off as an extension of myself but as the weeks passed he grew into her own character and it was sooo cool!!! so they started in my mind as a gnome rogue in a very atla-esque world but nowwww i have sort of rethought their backstory and more or less settled on an earth genasi paladin for their race and class, but im now debating the paladin part... we'll see :'))

unfortunately, while i have a lot of fluctuating thought about them, i love that btw it makes me think and ponder (basically writing but without writing ykn), i cant draw for the life of me</3 neither am i able to describe ceres enough for someone to draw them for me fskgjskgh

so rn ceres is still very much a baby oc WHOM I LOVE VVVVV MUCHHH but yeag, not properly fleshed out yet BUT im looooving all the research im putting into this its all so incredibly FUN and joyful and etc etc <33333

OH SHIT I ALMOST FORGOR the origin of their name!!!!!! so from the beginning i wanted ceres to have a connect with the earth and its elements!!! their hobbies are wood working and stone carving!!! i have a lil pintrest board and everything. anyways so, im a huge greek mythology nerd yeah? so i obviously named them after demeter, but the roman version. i am also very obsessed with our solar system and ceres is one my favourite dawrf planet, right in the asteroid belt between mars and jupiter... so yeag, cool name with origins from two of my erliest ever interests :>>

💜

[echoes-lighthouse]

Echo/Armand (Vampire Chronicles 5/5)

"Some of them want to use you Some of them want to get used by you Some of them want to abuse you Some of them want to be abused" -Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of These), Eurythmics

What We Share: Both of us were turned at a young age, although Armand was turned at 17 and passes as a very young adult, while I was turned at 21 and pass as a teenager: it's something both of us have to factor into our interactions. Similarly, we're both playing with roles that were forced upon us in our human lives: a combination of external infantilism and far too much experience, with comparisons made between Armand and greek statuary/painting, and Echo with dolls. We're both consciously exploring those dynamics with our current partners.

Where We Differ: Armand is very quietly in charge of most things around him. He only rarely rushes into things, and often wants to do the 'correct steps,' even if there's a clear shortcut. Meanwhile, I fluctuate between submission and reflection of the people around me, often rushing into situations and letting things fall around me as they will. Our coping strategies are very different in those ways, although I think they share similarities at their core.

Our Relationship, Alone: I ran directly into Armand's orbit when I came to stay with them: where Louis very effectively set boundaries with me by ignoring me, Armand did not follow suit. He engaged with me head-on, initially, with verbal boundaries and negotiations, and I paused there for a while, then pushed further, and he responded with a threat. Which unfortunately just made me very curious, so I pushed him far enough to follow through, and then we had to sit down and recalibrate. We've figured out a good system now: we're friends sometimes and he's in charge of me sometimes, but both ways we're both playing roles with each other, which we don't play around the others.

Our Relationship, In The Coven: Armand has no intention of playing for a leadership role in the coven, so our dynamic is strictly between the two of us: Lestat as the primary leader of the coven is the one who guides our actions, at least in theory. I also initially don't intend to get into Armand and Louis's dynamic until things settle a bit between them and also Daniel, but I get pulled into the mess for a bit anyways, but now things have evened out, so that's alright. I still orbit around him, on a certain level: aware of his moods in a way that I'm not with anyone but Gabrielle. But I don't do anything about it unless he or someone else indicates that I should. He's a hum in the daily life of the coven, an awareness just a little closer than the others, but different than the bond between me and Gabrielle.

[taffywabbit]

really warms my heart to see how many ppl have reblogged this with tags or comments about how having a fursona has improved their life in some way, or (even cooler!) how this post gave them enough of a push to start thinking about creating one! i kinda just wrote this post on a random whim and didn't expect such a widely positive response.

for me personally, my sona often fluctuates between being a very personal and euphoric self-insert that i can project ideas and emotions onto, and just sort of a funny little art mascot i can use to represent myself online, so sometimes i kinda forget just how dearly beloved these little personalized critters are by a lot of people. like "making a fursona and having that as an emotional outlet saved my life" type stories. it's cool as hell and i'm really happy for them!

however, a lot of folks who are in the "i don't have a fursona but now i might wanna make one" camp seem to frequently be unsure where to start with this stuff, though, so i thought i'd offer a little advice for that!

first thing is that this process is gonna come down to a little trial and error most of the time. none of your decisions are set in stone, you can always change things up later as you see fit (and hell, you can even have multiple fursonas for varying moods/purposes/etc if you want! people do it all the time. also, lots of folks give their fursonas hybrid traits, like a cat-dragon or a shark-wolf or a griffin or whatever, so that's an option too! mix-n-match)! people are complicated and a fursona always serves as a great canvas for personal experimentation and expression, whether you've had them for a decade or a day already.

focusing specifically on the choice of animal tho, it's handy if you already have a favourite animal for one reason or another (maybe aesthetically, behaviorally, symbolically, or some mix of these) but your favourite animal isn't always gonna be one that you think really represents you personally. that's fine! i adore cats IRL but i could never really see myself having a cat fursona. the important thing is that now you're THINKING about making a fursona, so now you can keep your eyes and ears open to inspiration when it comes along. i originally just picked a bunny because they're cute and cartoon bunnies are pretty easy/fun to draw, but as time went on i picked up loose knowledge about their traits and behaviors and realized "hey, i'm quiet and polite and loud noises make me anxious, i'm happiest sleeping and waking up at unusual hours, i like to feel small and cozy and safe, i'm a little bit mischievous but bad at serious confrontation... maybe this was a better fit than i thought!" and now i can't really imagine myself picking anything else. got it in one. but if i HADN'T lucked into that on the first try, those kinds of observations would've helped me get there eventually. look at animals, learn things about animals, and keep the thought in the back of your mind of "do i feel a connection to any of this?" as you do so. something might just click into place one day!

failing all that, idk, just pick a critter you think looks neat, give it a couple colours and some cool hair or whatever, and see what happens from there! not everyone's fursona has personal meaning to them and that's fine too! also, if you have a friend who knows you decently well (especially if they're an artist) you can usually ask them for creative input and bounce ideas off them. friends are often really good at putting a finger on unique defining qualities that you may not have noticed about yourself, and that can help a LOT with this stuff.

anyways that's all the advice i got, hope it helps! even if you don't end up actually settling on a fursona, or feeling like this is right for you in general, you might still benefit in some way from the process of reaching that conclusion and i sincerely encourage you to give it some thought if it sounds interesting to you. have fun out there!

I think more people should make fursonas and I'm dead serious. the process of self-exploration that naturally comes along with creating a funny little critter to represent yourself is SO valuable, as you consider the types of animals you vibe with and what kind of aesthetic/colours/personality/etc suit you and stuff like that (fun fact this process is how I figured out I was transgender lol. not saying that will happen to you but just proving that you can learn a LOT about yourself through this design process and any subsequent design changes)

and then when you're all done, you have a little freak you can do whatever you want with! edit them poorly into memes, commission lavish oil paintings of them to hang in your mansion, use them as a personal online mascot, design a fucked up evil twin for them to fight, soak them in milk and throw them at the wall, anything really. same stuff some people do with fandom characters they really like, except it's 100% yours and nobody can tell you you're doing it wrong! also now you have an animal your friends can associate with you and they'll send you funny pics/videos of that animal that make them think of you. literally it's just wins all the way down for you and everybody you associate with. everyone should have one of these things!!

[scarletttries]

Feeling Blue (Kurt Wagner Request)

Pairing: Kurt Wagner (X-Men) x Reader

Rating: Fluff, but be aware reader is not feeling well.

Word Count; 1k

Request: "Can I have a kurt wagner x reader where he helps her with bradycardia (low heart rate)?"

Author's Note: Thank you so much for this request my dear, and for giving me an excuse to watch X-Men Apocalypse again! I didn't know much about bradycardia, so did a bit of reading, but have kept this pretty general of feeling unwell and anxious, so I hope you are still happy with it :)

Feeling Blue (Kurt Wagner)

The professor made his way through the winding corridors of his school, soothing unsettled children as they poked their heads out from behind bedroom doors,

"Back to bed please little ones, the lights will be fixed any minute, just focus on shutting your eyes and settling down." It seemed like every few months a new young mutant came through his door with an uncontrollable ability that left him with restless nights, whether it was causing the ground to shake, stirring up troubling weather, or your natural gift to tune into electricity, sending surging currents through every lightbulb in the house when your heart rate became unsettled. As with every mutant that needed his help, Professor X was more than happy to support and calm as much as he could. But as he approached your door, the flickering lights even brighter the nearer he drew, he found another concerned shape, one that made him think his skills might not be what was needed tonight,

"Kurt!" He greeted warmly, trying not to startle the usually skittish mutant, who flinched anyway, half-considering disappearing back to his room in case he got in trouble.

"Professor, I'm sorry for being out of my room, it's just, I was worried about (Y/N)." He replied softly, relieved at the small smile spreading across Xavier's face.

"Not at all Kurt, I think you'll do a much better job of helping (Y/n) than I would. Thank you, I'll leave you to it." Giving the boy a knowing nod before returning to his rounds of the school.

---

Behind the thick wooden door, you found yourself curled up in a corner, desperately seeking the grounding support of the solid wooden beams as another wave of dizziness washed over you. Your eyes were clenched shut as you focused on your breathing, counting each beat of your heart, steadying your mind as you heard four light taps against your door. You couldn't help but smile at the little melody, knowing exactly who was outside and that he was the last person who ever really needed a door unlocking, but respected you enough to knock anyway,

"Come in Kurt." You called out, your lungs short of breath as they struggled to find their rhythm again, the weight on your chest lifting slightly as you heard your friend materialise in front you.

"(Y/N)," he spoke softly, looking at your huddled form, "are you feeling unwell again?" You nodded your head slowly, not daring to look up at his unique blue features,

"How did you know?" You asked shakily, tears threatening to tumble from your eyes as you kept them tightly clenched shut.

"Umm, i'm afraid all the lights in the house gave you away." He said with a soft laugh, and you finally lifted your head to meet his gaze, noticing every lamp in the room fluctuating in time with your unsteady heartbeat. Kurt crouched on the floor, settling down to your height so his eyes could meet yours. He looked beautiful in the glow you created, a soft comfort in his eyes that made you feel like he was grounding you in the room again. He settled his hand slowly on the ground next to yours, not quite daring to touch you, but wanting you to know he was there, that he was always there for you. This wasn't the first time he had found you like this, feeling anxious and awful and needing a friend to see you through,

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't like this Kurt." You spoke softly, knowing that saying it didn't change anything, but grateful to have someone who could literally be anywhere but chose to always be there for you.

"I know (y/n). I don't know if it helps but sometimes I wish I wasn't like this," he loosely gestured over his blue skin, tail waving behind him, "but if it makes you feel any better, I think you're perfect just the way you are." You left out a soft laugh as his tail wrapped over your shoulder, his hand finally brave enough to lightly rest on yours.

"Thanks Kurt," You smiled, the ground seeming to become more solid with every second you shared, "For always being there. And I like you just the way you are too." He beamed back at that, shuffling closer to you as he spoke,

"I have to say (Y/n) I don't like seeing you so blue. You should leave that to me!" He joked, smiling proudly at the laugh he drew from you. Feeling a little stronger you began shifting to your feet only for Kurt to stop you, "Let me."

In a swirl of blue you were transported to your bed, Kurt perched at your side as he shifted the blanket around you,

"Get some rest (Y/n) and in the morning I promise i'll take you anywhere you want - as long as you don't mind me coming with you." He added bashfully, smiling as you ran the back of your hand gently over his cheek,

"Like i'd go anywhere with you."

[myfangirlfanfiction]

Hello!, I hope your day/night is going well!, I saw that you were doing matchups for certain anime's and I was wondering if I may have one for bnha? :), // I just want to say- as I always like to stress that there's no pressure to respond quickly or even at all as I completely understand as I've done matchups in the past lol-but of course I'd be thrilled if you did! Hvngbh anyways tho-// // also I just want to say that if you do add nsfw to your matchups please don't with this one if possible of course, as I am a minor and that would make me uncomfy, if it's not possible I understand and just ignore this request if so <3 //

I'll start with the info on me now! :)

So to start off with a description of my appearance, I am a 5'5 naturally brown haired person with pink dyed hair, my hair is naturally wavy/kinda wild and long, and body typewise I'm a tad chubby, and have been told I have a baby face at times, I'm pretty pale so I tend to have a natural blush as well lmao, I do have a fair amount of freckles and I always wear glasses as I'm blind as a bat without them tbh gbjbhv, style wise I kind of fluctuate between dressing soft in things that are mostly in my favorite color pink!, such as frilly dresses and skirts and such and a more alternative style like fingerless gloves and chokers, I also sometimes just tend to chill in pajamas even in public xD, it all depends on my mood lol

Next facts about me/my identity and preferences! :>, I identify as a demigirl going by she/they pronouns, I am 16, an infp, my zodiac rising sign is Leo, and even though I'm sort of still figuring myself out I've kind of settled on at the moment that I am omni romantic/asexual :)

// I am attracted to all genders equally I don't have a preference btw-//

Now For a description of what I believe my personality to be like and just some traits/interests :)

Personally I think I can be very shy at first when meeting someone as I don't want to annoy them and or seem weird, but once I know a person is chill and or nice I tend to open up pretty quickly though gradually, since we live in a very negative world I like finding the positives when it comes to things although I'm not naive about how bad things are and or can be, I try to spread a little kindness wherever I go and I just don't see the point in being rude or mean to others as it's so easy to just be polite at the very least // if unprovoked of course-// I find myself to be a very easy to get along person as it's very hard to annoy me and or get on my nerves and I'm pretty go with the flow in the way that I tend to find interest in whatever the person I'm with is interested in and or wants to talk about/do, and when it comes to my own interests if somebody shows intrigue and actually lets me talk about them that's one of those scenarios where I will become a chatterbox xD, like I'm naturally quiet but if the topic is one of my special interests such as Animated media, certain parts of History, DC and marvel, cryptids/unexplainable things, I will go on for as long as I can and or as long as that person would let me hvjgjhbh

I do tend to be a bit cowardly at times when it comes to sticking up for myself and or just butting into situations in general admittedly as I am a very anxious person and very non-confrontational, I tend to try to peacekeep mostly ghhbh :'), I have a habit of apologizing for the littlest things and I do have a stutter I'm working on getting rid of, it usually comes around when I'm too excited and or nervous but sometimes it just happens randomly, I tend to get flustered when that happens gghghgh // sorry if this info is useless btw xD I just like going into detail for matchups-//

When it comes to my hobbies I enjoy both reading and writing, mostly fantasy stories, I do have a habit that kind of connects to that as I've been told that I tend to daydream a lot and it's mostly about the world that I create in the fiction that I write and or consume, hvjhvjhb, I also love to skate I just think it's awesome and fun!-I'm pretty good at it too not to brag xD, like I know a few tricks this is roller skating by the way-I tried skateboarding but fell on my face 💀

Some extra miscellaneous details about me is that I do tend to get overwhelmed at times when it comes to being around a lot of people and that's when I'm usually the quietest although in private I'm much more open if it's with somebody I'm comfortable with, I also tend to be very sleepy a lot like more than the average person as I have this thing where I go into a dream like stayed almost immediately after falling asleep which isn't normal-hvngbhg and it makes me wake up sporadically so like in class and such after I'm done with my work I usually just crash till it's time to go most of the time Pfff,

Now when it comes to relationships and dating I'm kind of inexperienced tbh-, although I do understand that my love language is quality time, as I greatly enjoy just being with the people that I hold dear even just sitting in silence and watching a movie, as it's just nice and comforting to know that they're there :) and want to spend time with me, my ideal date would honestly just be me and my significant other doing something like that together/just chilling with one another, I don't need anything fancy or too extravagant, just to know there here and want to be around me,

I consider myself to be rather affectionate in the way that is my s/o were to give it i whould gladly and gratefully accept, although with that said I do become a bit flustered/nervous at initiating it myself and it takes me a while to build up courage to do so, I normally regularly ask permission to give things like hugs lol so in a relationship I feel as though I would do the same

Thankyou for reading all of this if so!, I hope the rest of your day/night is wonderful <3

Anime Matchups 💘

My Hero Academia

Hello and thanks for your patience! It’s very much appreciated. I’m happy you’re interested in my matchups I hope you enjoy yours. I don’t mind you making your matchup 😌 Your very welcome. These days I’m doing better. A lot of unfortunate stuff happened which is why I took a while with your request.

Ochaco Uraraka

You’re match is with Ochaco. This was a no brainer. You would both enjoy each other and form a cute relationship. She will be gentle with you and do her best to help you.

Ochaco would enjoy your shyness. She’s friendly so you two would easily form a relationship. She’ll be happy the more you open up. She also isn’t naive about the world since she does want to become a pro hero. She likes talking about your interests and will share many of her interests with you. Conversations last for hours thanks to this. She also doesn’t get annoyed easily and will be on the same page as you about being polite to others. She’s such a positive one.

She respects your pronouns. She’ll have an understanding of your anxiousness and wanting to stay peacekeeping. She’ll want to help you when it comes to defending yourself. She might teach you some moves or have you join her martial art classes if you like. As for not be confrontational she’ll try helping you with this. She is protective since she cares for all people especially her friends and loved ones. She’ll also help you with apologizing too much.

She thinks your natural blush and wavy hair are gorgeous. I imagine she’ll want to do your hair maybe re-dye it and give it a hair treatment. She’ll love the shade of pink you choose and might suggest another shade seeing as she also adores pink. She’ll compliment your glasses and freckles.

You two share the love for frilly dresses and pink. When you two go shopping she’ll want to buy you different frames or clothing. You two will have many shopping dates since your share the same tastes in clothes. With your alternative style she’ll support this and help you pick out clothing for this style too. She won’t care that you wear pajamas. She wishes she was confident enough to wear them in public.

Ochaco thinks your nervousness and flustered side is cute.

She’ll love hearing about the stuff you read and write. When it comes to fantasy stories you’ve read she’s all ears listening to you with a dazed look on her face. She enjoys these moments. Fanfiction is fun and interesting so she won’t mind hearing it. When you daydream she’ll be curious about it and want to know what was on your mind. She likes the stuff you dream up. You’re lucky she has the quirk she has so you won’t be getting hurt when you skate around her. She’ll be impressed watching you skate. She’ll also use her quirk to help her skate with you.

She’ll understand you don’t do the best in a public setting. When she can she’ll pull you to the side so you can chill. If needed she won’t mind comforting you either.

When you’re sleepy she’ll be sure to give you drink with caffeine if you need it. She’s thoughtful like that.

Ochaco isn’t judgemental so she’ll understand you tend to sleep and daydream. It’s a part of you and she knows it.

She doesn’t have much relationship experience either but she’s definitely comfortable spending quality time with you. She loves being around you so this works out very well. She’ll adore that you simply want to spend time with her. She is fine spending time with you however you’d like.

Ochaco is very affectionate so I’m sure you won’t always have to initiate but she’ll be extremely happy to see you get so flustered around her. She also tends to be bashful so you’re both in the same embarrassed state. Ochaco makes sure she has your permission as well. She thinks it’s super sweet you ask for permission for something as small as a hug. She’ll start needing your affection since you make her feel loved.

You mentioned being a Leo meanwhile Ochaco is a Capricorn. So they’re not the most compatible but there’s still room for a relationship. While an unlikely couple there’s still a good chance of having a relationship so long as the couple meets each other halfway.

This dynamic is soft romance since you both get so flustered around each other. Ochaco is a good, understanding partner to you. Meanwhile you’re a chill and respectful shy bean. You treat Ochaco with upmost care and value so much more in life than others. Ochaco admires this seeing as she is selfless and wants to become a hero. She can see the value in the smallest of things as you do. This builds such a solid relationship between you two.

[yellow-faerie]

Thank you @ibrithir-was-here and @carlandrea now everyone gets unfiltered rambling

First of all: Naboo worldbuilding! I intend to make a bigger post one day but for now this is what I've come up with, from a mix of legends and canon eu and some of my own headcanon.

I have this whole idea that Naboo was accidentally settled, by a group of humans from Grizmallt (and a few Corellians who were providing the ships) who got sent of course.

This crash leaves them without Comms or a way of planet and so for several hundred years, the Naboo human population grows without an ability to contact the outside world. Their main pantheon of gods is founded around this time (Shiraya being the Queen among them) and so is the hereditary monarchy, descending from the leader of that first expedition.

There's a definite religious aspect to the monarchy I think; girls have always been favoured (much like how boys used to become king before their sisters in many real world countries) and the planet is quite matriarchal. Dee's peak is also considered a holy place due to it being the first place landed.

The shift towards a voted monarchy began when the last Queen of House Kwilaan gets very old and basically says that the people can choose which family will take over. There are several noble families who each have governance over different regions on the planet (regions are probably a similar size to fairly large countries in real world comparisons and there are smaller provinces and districts within). The Naberries are the noble family of the Gallo Mountain Region, for example.

This became habit for when a noble family comes to the end of its line, a new family is voted in for the monarchy, until it became so competitive and cutthroat that full on civil war broke out between several groups of regions. There's the north where there's a frozen pole; the west which is fairly full of fields (where Theed is) and grassland and lakes; the south which is mountains and islands in the sea; and the east which is predominantly marsh/wetland and where a lot of the gungans lives.

Each of these regions has a princess that they champion and there's vicious fighting between the groups; and then there is the fifth princess. She's something of a myth in modern day, a paragon of peace - she's the youngest of the princesses and she gets the people to follow her, especially when the other four princesses throw their support behind her.

She becomes the first elected queen, and the first monarch to not be from a noble family as no one knows her origins. The four princesses become her Handmaidens (although images of her always show five Handmaidens, and tradition dictates that there should always be five - that's an entirely different matter though, regarding the Order of Sanctuary).

A lot of Handmaiden traditions start during this period of unrest, created to defend in a very violent society, and persisting as the threat of the violence reappearing is very possible; the other tradition is that there should always be a Handmaiden to represent each region cluster, just as the princess did for the Fifth Princess.

Terms for monarchs fluctuate with the changing governments but it's always done by vote now, having lost the hereditary aspect entirely.

Uh yeah so that's Naboo!

The other two under the cut because this got a bit long lol

So Sabé/Cody...this came to me because a) I love Sabé and have so many headcanons that she's basically an oc at this point (ask me about Sabé I dare you, I will also talk about the order of the Sanctuary) and b) i love Sabéwan because I'm a sucker for two people who can't let their feelings get ahead of their duties and c) I'm a sucker for Codywan because two people who can't let their feelings get ahead of their duties

Anyway, all three of them are like tangled together in duty and I was just cutting the middleman out of my two ships and realised - wait a minute, I've hit gold!

Basically, the premise is this: Cody is a man who looks identical to several million other men, and struggles every day to be something different while still doing his duty; on the other hand, you have Sabé who struggles to break free of being identical to one specific person who is literally her everything and now she must try and find her own place now that she's out of her service.

It's all the complicated feelings of identity and duty (and also a weird rivalry over Obi-Wan...and also Sabé works for Republic intelligence after leaving Padmé's service which gives her a weird dynamic to the clones due to her military status and his...I'm writing a fic that hopefully explains it all a bit better lol)

Anyway yeah, Sabé and Cody working in the rebellion together, getting through their guilt - obsessed with that idea.

And then c) deep spacers.

I actually don't have that much to say about them, I just think it's such a cool idea that you could have some huge capital ship that never has set location and you have a bunch of people who live off trade exclusively and don't have a home planet. Smugglers and traders and space taxis as a living - also a force sect who protect the space lanes from pirates and slavers where they can (I read that in a very good fic I haven't been able to find again :( but I will one day!)

Anyway, yes, vibes, hope you like lol

Who wants to hear something about either a) my naboo worldbuilding which I cannot stop thinking about or b) the rarepair ship/character dynamic (I say this because my shipping has always been a bit queerplatonic) that I'm obsessed with (Sabé/Cody(/Obi-Wan)) or c) my deep and intricate lore surrounded deep spacers in star wars

[bowieisworried]

heyy it's been a while, i kind of ran out of energy for a few days i hope you're doing well! <3

I mean i was getting into Day6 and The Rose also Monsta X on the side y'know in those two years. But i was only keeping up to date with Skz and Bts lmao idk either how i did it especially bc i had a few friends who had diff ult groups than me so i always Heard stuff but i never had the motivation or need to look more into those oops

Skz bias... you can't just ask that;; it'S COMPLICATED OKAY

right from the start i basically biased half the group and then i just kept on adding and then it fluctuated but rn i guess i'm kinda settled on felix, jisung, minho and chan... maybe?

Wait Lay is technically still in Exo??? i thought he was out and jsut doing his own stuff now? WHY is SM like that...

i mean no one can beat NCT when it comes to units [insert clown emoji here] (((and boy i don't even stan them but i'm so pissed at SM for how they treat Mark... Anyways)))

Oh no Seungwoo and Donghun?? rippp

You'll be happy to know that i finally got the motivation to go on an ACE binge yesterday. And y'know i always thought Byeongkwan was gonna be my bias bc i already knew him and when i tried to get into them the first time that kinda manifested but. Now i'm kinda in love with jun. Help me. He reminds me so much on onewe yonghoon sometimes? idk if u can see that but it's mostly in the way they both get shy those videos made me fall a little bit

New Type tm i guesS

(i shall hit you up for victon sometime bc i do know a lot about them already bc a friend got obsessed a year ago and always updates me but y'know that line between knowledge and standom? das me rn)

OH MY GOD WAIT THAT SHERLOCK PERFORMANCE IS THE PERFECT REC THANK YOU

me + all my kpop friends

=

having been obsessed with sherlock/lucifer at some point in the past

i completely forgot about their stage break stuff ur a savior

When it comes to 2nd hand out of print/rare/whatever albums i always feel so torn bc on one hand I wouldn't want to pay that much money for an album (looking at The Rose Void going for like 250 rn) but on the other hand i'm delighted at the thought of maybe one day being able to sell My albums for a lot of money hfhhhhh i'm a hypocrite (especially bc i know i'll never be able to sell hhh too attached)

Glad you agree with the BM Theatre Ver. and same! i love that this album has the theatre songs and all but wouldn't it have made more sense to focus on that for the "Main" versions or put more goodies in ? sigh

God idk how u mentally managed to open the bad love album aHH i'm half thinking of buying it again 2nd hand for cheap just so i Do have an open ver and can look at the photobook and stuff bc idk if i'll ever be able to open it.

Yea the box one! This album is such an all around masterpiece that i totally wasn't expecting and like when the first trailer came out i was Shook because i'm an absolute 90s scifi nerd and it had All the right vibes. And then the packaging? All 3 (ignoring the cassette) versions are so good and so 60s/90s scifi i went a bit crazy maybe

i have a notion board for my album collection so i can always check which ones i have and also which version they are, it's very handy. I should've done that back when i was collecting manga bc the amount of times i bought duplicates just bc i forgot which volume i was on is truly ridiculous lmao

Oh so my 4 day break from messaging was surprisingly well timed, amazing! i hope the move went well? (just gonna interpret the no internet as the final steps haha)

RE: album collection post

your shelf looks so neat and organised! blessed be albums with the same height!

(fun fact: sf9, btob, wonho, day6 and skz have some albums that are all randomly the same height but diff from all their others so idk where to put them they're now just exiled stacked on top of each other)

THAT BLOODMOON SEODO DOUBLE PULL i wanna rob you

Key coming in with the Aesthetic stuff

hehe i have the same big Binary seoho uwu

ND xion = superior. he was so pretty that era i loved his hair

Eu de Vixx? Is that the perfumed album? if so .. How does it smell??

The taemin advice pc he's so cute stop pOuting

taemin want pc AGAIN with the pouting hhhh

That was fun! i genuinely love looking through people's collections

I hope you have a wonderful afternoon! eat some christmas cookies and drink something warm idk how the weather is for you but it's looking Steel Grey here

~ santa

Hey, don’t worry about it, we all crash now and again.

I love your struggle with a skz bias haha, I feel your pain though, if anyone asked my bias for my top three groups I’d just be gesturing vaguely towards all of them. Your skz biases though... they’re actually mine + plus my besties. I have Chan and Felix and she has Jisung and Minho, you’ve got very good taste!

Ha, yeah, I think he (very) briefly showed up in the MV for the last comeback but it was on greenscreen so who knows.

Ooft NCT... yeah. They’re... a lot. Technically I have 2 NCT biases, but only technically haha, I adopted Ten and Taeyong but not because of any NCT unit. I don’t like to acknowledge where I got them from, but let’s just say Taemin was involved xD

They treat Mark badly though? I didn’t know, or hadn’t noticed cos I really try my best to avoid anything nct related lol

Yeah, my two boys, poor souls. Packed off to the military.

:O Yes! What’s your favourite song/mv so far? Jun though... yes, 10/10, cannot find a better one, so if he lands up as your bias then you’re doing well. I kinda see what you mean about the similarity with Yonghoon, there’s a sort of shy/humbleness but also a confidence as well about them.

Hehehe, glad the recs were good. Honestly whenever someone asks for recs you either go completely blank and can’t think of anything, or you have a list longer than your arm.

250?! Jesus christ that’s just crazy. You make a good point though, they’re pretty much an investment, price will just keep climbing unless the company decides to reprint again *hint hint SM you lazy sods*

Hmm, buying a second copy actually isn’t too bad an idea. I’d definitely open one though, the photobook is lovely! Obviously there isn’t as much sort of extra stuff as the boxset one, but it’s really nice and glossy. I KNOW RIGHT? The whole thing was genius, I’m a massive Star Wars fan so like you with the scifi, when I first saw it my jaw just dropped. Like, is he actually going to package his album like one of the old star wars toys? Yes, yes he is, the bloody madman haha

You’re so organised! Shame about the manga though, must’ve been chaos because don’t some of those run to hundreds of books in a series and stuff?

The move was... well... it’s done now xD

Yup, the Oneus albums are a blessing for being the same height, and then all of Taemin’s and TSOL (except Advice, that little bitch). I love it really though lol. Oh my god those poor albums all stacked up haha! There’s always something that just. doesn’t. Fit. Always.

Ah yeah, the Seodo, soooo good. And Seoho’s big card from Binary Code is exquisite.

Yeah, Eau De Vixx is the one that comes with a “scent card”. It’s SO STRONG. Honestly, you open the album anywhere and it attacks you lol. It doesn’t smell bad though so it’s all good, plus the photos for it are absolutely gorgeous.

Seriously though, I have so many pouty Taemin pc’s. I landed up looking up a sort of list of all the pcs for his albums to see if he is just the poutiest man alive but nope... apparently I just pull the adorable pouts lol.

I’ll be relaxing with a nice rum and some Tarkov haha, and the weather here is the same, grey all day.

Hope you’re feeling a bit better now and you get to have some chilled out time as well today :D

[barelynakedthoughts]

Today I am 12 weeks and 5 days into my pregnancy. I am 1 week and 1 day away from entering the second trimester. I'm still in shock that we may have a little one soon...I'm still surprised we made it this far. We're not out of the danger zone yet, but I'm settling into this pregnancy a bit more each day.

These past few weeks have been odd and filled with way too many tears than I care to admit. I've been a bit hormonal, but I've also had crippling anxiety over the safety and viability of our little one. For about two weeks, I did not feel pregnant in the way I had been. It was my transitional period from very nauseated and sick to leading a semi-normal, less nauseated life. Sure, I get lightheaded here and there -actually I'm writing this in the middle of the night because I woke up wanting to throw up. Yet, it's not every day and I'm even reintroducing light amounts of sauce and pasta. My body is even allowing me to eat chocolate again!! You would not believe how much excitement that caused this past week.

In the latter part of those two weeks, I began cramping daily and it was painful. I called the nurse for clarity, even. Since we were so close to a first semester screening, she recommended waiting and seeing how it goes. My brain was convinced we lost the baby.

Turns out, my cyst had grown a millimeter and the baby had grown even more. During the scan, I cried silently and squeezed my husband's hand so tight that he said it hurt afterwards. I responded with, "I guess I'm getting you prepared for a few months from now!" We chuckled afterward and stared at pictures of our little one. They moved so much during the scan. So much sl it made it difficult for them to get everything they needed. I secretly commended the babe because that meant we got to spend more time with them on the grayscale screen. There first few minutes of fame!

My heart has been at peace since then. Well there was one night where I wiped and there was a spec of bright red blood, but it has not since returned. I'm just going to choose my battles wisely from now on...or maybe not. We'll see. My emotions have been rather unpredictable to say the least. The doctors even sent us a video and I've watched it about as much as I've watched my favorite show, House. The joy of watching them bounce and wiggle and move their arms and kick their legs and side eye the nurse bouncing the scanner on their cozy little home...the joy is just invigorating. I pray for their safety and I pray for their well-being. I lean on God and hope for His mighty hand to gentle bring this little one to life come May or June!

So what am I feeling like now?

Well, normal. Kinda. My belly is starting to get bigger and if i weren't pregnant, I'd look like I've gained weight. The ironic part of this stomach growth is the scale. My body hasn't gained anything. I've been the same, if not two pounds lighter, since becoming pregnant in September. There was a point where I was fluctuating +/- 3 pounds each week, but that settled quickly and now I'm looking to start gaining weight for real. I'm, of course, going to ask the doctor what that looks like when we go in next week. In the midst of the fluctuation, I did happen to gain three little stretch marks on my belly. They have been my reminder of something precious even when I don't feel pregnant. There are some mornings where I feel my bump has gone missing...but it shows back up later in the day. I think most of fatter aesthetic is bloating right now. I cant wait until it's a round belly that screams "I'm pregnant!"

My lower back has been killing me and sleeping is still difficult. I'm starting to accept that I may never sleep through the night again - much to my husband's dismay. Poor him, he's been waking up here and there because I keep shuffling to find the right position. I guess he should get used to it, too! I've been trying my best not to wake him, though. It's lonely, but I can manage to past the time. I'm starting to notice slight aches when bending over and sitting in weird positions. I'm also starting the lose the ability to sit forward comfortable. My belly is not that big right now. It reminds me of when my period would hit honestly. Yet it's also different structurally. It's not a bloat, it's a physical alteration where pieces have been moved around.

Covid is scaring us a bit and with Thanksgiving coming up, we're becoming even more cautious. Might have to do a virtual dinner with both of our families. No can afford getting covid, but right now, I'm not trying to be pregnant with covid. I don't need the worry and I dont need the illness!

I've been catching myself staring at my belly, rubbing it and smiling more often. I'm noticing slight nesting tendencies, too. We're not buying too much beyond more comfortable clothing, but as we enter into the second trimester, this could change. I'm not trying to jump the gun yet. I'm waiting until after 20 weeks to start changing the apartment around. Fortunately that will come right around when Christmas decorations have to come down so it'll feel like a natural transition from the festively ostentatious to the surreal. Normally the apartment feels unfillably bare after Christmas, but I have a feeling there will be a different type or emptiness lurking. An emptiness filled with the hope of growth. I'm hoping by Christmas we get small movements, too. It would be a wonderful present. If I'm honest, I stopped wanting presents a few years ago. My inner Cindy Lou Who started expressing herself and Christmas gained a new meaning. I dont even want to give gifts. I feel it does a disservice to the season of giving because most items people dont want in the long run anyways. It's just a holiday to gain more stuff to a lot of people and I just want a holiday where I hug my mom, enjoy my family and smile genuinely all day. No earthly treasure means more than family...and this year, there would be no greater gift than having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy little one.

Also, singing Christmas songs with my dad would be beautiful, too. This type of Christmas where joy is revealed in acts of thanksgiving would be want I want to impart on my little one.

Well that was a tangent!

I'm feeling good this week. Seeing the light after a few weeks of darkness is just that much more precious. I'm excited to hear the heartbeat next week and to keep seeing growth happen. I'm excited to carry this little one...can't wait to hold them in my arms.

[sighmabean]

"Ah," the doctor says. "That settles it."

"What is 'it'?" I say. Marshal is interested again. Sudoko's spell is over. I'm feeling a bit anxious and I don't know why.

"You're a necromancer."

"What?" That was Marshall and not me. He was much louder than I am giving him credit for in those quotation marks. But more symbols just make it look silly and he wasn't being silly.

"Any Egyptian in your blood, Daphne?"

"Yes. A lot actually. Up to my grandmother we-"

"Yeap. That'll do it."

"No sir, it won't. This is bigger than just animal aid. She has a job to do. This changes everything!"

"Hear a lot voices do you?"

"Um."

"Be honest."

"Sometimes." that's safe. Marshall knows about that.

"A long time ago, yeah. But those are gone now since the therapy and medication." 'atta boy, Marsh!

"So it's seeing things now instead."

Damn. He's good. Marsh is about to have a row again but thinks to check my face first. He turns away but is whipped back by an invisible, emotional bungee cord.

"Sue?!" I'll add the marks there because they capture 80% of his rise in tone, fluctuation in emoting, and the way he slaps his hands on the chairs elbow rests.

"I'm sorry. It happens."

"I can't believe-"

"That's the Dead for you. Always find a way."

"So no therapy dog then."

"'Fraid not. You'll be better with reptiles." The doctor has done this before. Too often as a matter of fact. Marsh doesn't like that either. He goes

"Like what? Iguanas? That's calming."

"No. Snakes are better."

"Snakes?!"

"I like cats. If that helps. Well, cats like me rather."

"Ah. Yes. So some Bass in there too. Fits with the Egyptian."

He scribbles on the paper like an actor playing at a doctor. I'd tell Marsh but he's looking at me, daring me to look back. Not today, Satan.

"Here you go."

"And what's this now?"

"Bobcat."

"WHAT?!" Because the way he said that was funny even though he meant it seriously.

"I'm fine with that I say." Oh well, he can stay angry all he wants right now. At home he'll have a tougher go at it in front of the therapy bobcat. Hehe. "I already have name."

"Really? Do tell." his voice is acid.

"Isis." I can't wait to summon her but I can act like I can. Never cared for dogs anyway. They make terrible familiars.

Dogs have always acted violent around you but cats love to be in your presence. Today, you find out why.