#anyway everybody lives together in the bunker deal with it

[durmom]

Its Useless

Part 8

Part 7:

The next week you spent a lot of time training, mostly with Sam as Dean shockingly threw himself into research. It had been a while since a hunt so you were a little rusty but by the end of the week you had beaten Sam multiple times. Dean was trying to find a way to get Lucifer and kept coming up empty. You were debating on coming along with the boys or staying at the bunker. Knowing they were going to be captured by the secret service made you hesitant. They would have you on the outside but you have no clue how to free them, they had to make a deal with Billie. But if you were with them would you flee with Cas or get arrested with them? Either way they are going to be pissed so you’ve been living day by day enjoying your time with them. There were constant movie and game nights, drinking, smoking, and just all around joy. It was obvious they were stressed but you tried to help them relax, especially knowing they will be in confinement for two months. The day had come when they found another one of Lucifer's vessels, the CEO. 

“Are you sitting this one out?” Sam asks, knowing you didn't know.

“I think I have to.”

“Why?” Dean walks up to the impala with his duffle. He throws it in the bag and turns to you.

“Honestly it was the hardest decision I had to make. Knowing how everything goes down I think for everybody it's best I stay here. You boys are close. Luckily no one knows I exist, thank you Amara for wiping Rowena’s memory of me. Anyways, this will be the last time you leave, you will find Lucifer.”

“I’m glad you’re staying.” Dean says placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Thanks Dean.” Sadness hits you, it's about to be a long two months. How can you tell them you will take care of everything while they are gone? 

“We should get going, Cas is waiting.” Sam informs you. 

“Alrighty,” your voice wavers. You give Sam a long hug, “I love you, please be safe. I believe in you.” Pulling away he kisses the top of your head, he looks away from you, to you it's obvious he's trying not to cry. Before you can say anything he gets into the car. Turning to Dean you give him a weak smile and laugh through the tears that are falling. He reaches out for you. Dean gives you the best hug you have ever had in your life, its better than how it looks in the show. It feels safe, like home. Like the crushing weight has been lifted off your shoulders. All emotions release, you flow through anger, annoyance, sadness, and joy. Pulling away you realize you have been crying, so has he, before he wipes his own tears he wipes yours. Closing your eyes you try to find peace, “Dean, I love you, please be safe.”

“I’ll try Princess” He reaches up to your chin and tilts your head up to him. His eyes are searching yours. You wrap your arms around his neck and time stands still. Your mind is racing, it'll be two months before you see them again. Your relationship with Dean has already been hard, and it's only going to get worse. They don't know about Jack yet. Hopefully he won't hate you, you can’t imagine him- your thoughts are interrupted by Deans lips on yours. You freeze for a second before returning the kiss with more force, passion. His hands are now cupping your face as you continue to kiss, your hands are running through his hair. He’s going to hate me now. Fuck that, you decide to enjoy the moment instead of thinking how in a few days he’s going to be yelling at you. The kiss you share tells everything about your relationship, you can feel the heat, the anger, the passion you have for eachother, but his hands are gentle, caring, they are sleeping in bed together to not have nightmares. It's everything. It's interrupted by Sam honking the horn. When he pulls away he rests his head on your forehead for a brief moment before standing up straight and holding your hands.

“Be safe Princess.”

“I will, Dean.” 

You wave them off and are now nauseous from the stress. 

The Boys POV

“So you and y/n huh?” Sam smiles widely at Dean, raising his eyebrows. Dean shifts uncomfortably in his seat, “I was just saying bye.”

“Sure you were.” Sam laughs.  

“I was.” 

“I didn't get a goodbye makeout session.”  

“Shut up Sam!” He socks his brother's arm. Dean can't help but have a small smile, he’s been living with you for five months, sharing a bed for months, you have shown him true joy. You would always try to have fun when you could. Meaning movies, amusement parks, mini golf, whatever you could find, and you were good at finding something no matter where you were. Dean held so much anger towards you because of Amara, it was tiring having someone constantly mess with his life. She said that you were supposed to teach him something, he found that dumb as fuck but here he is eating his words because you definitely taught him something. It is hard for him to find words but that kiss dissolved all of the anger he had towards you. He feels ready to take on Lucifer. 

They arrive at the morgue to see Cas along with Crowley. It’s unsettling to see them working together, they seem to be joking with each other too. They ignore the situation between them since it’s Lucifer they are dealing with. When they arrive at the church to take a look around, Dean can’t help but think of you, how it would be nice to have your help. He especially wishes this when he finds the bodies. 

“I wish Y/n was here.” Sam says as they continue to find more bodies.

“Me too.” Dean agrees. You were always helpful, with ideas, insight on what was going on, without telling them the full story, you saved them from a lot of brain power. After leaving the church Dean calls you, “Hey Princess.”

“Hi Dean! What's up?”

“We just left the church, it was a massacre.”

“I know.” You say sadly, “Dean?”

“What hun?”

“He’s already the president.”

“You sure?”

“I'm positive, I just wanted to give you a heads up, save you from some work.”

“Thank you Princess.”

“You’re welcome.” You both sit in silence for a bit before Dean speaks up again, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too Dean, being alone in the bunker is hard.”

“I bet.”

“Yeah, I just wish you boys were home.”

“Me too sweetheart, me too.”

“So, I uh.. I do have something I need to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“I felt bad kissing you-”

“- huh?”

“Hold on, not because I don't like you, I do, I mean I love you but there's something that's about to happen and I know you’re going to hate me.”

“Okay… and what is that?”

“Dean,” You sign, exhausted, “Again, Dean I cannot tell you. But I do want you to know that it meant a lot to me, and even though you are not going to like me anymore I just wanted you to know that I do love you. Both of you boys.”

“Y/n you’re freaking me out. What is so big that I am going to hate you?”

“You’ll find out soon. But I just needed to get that off my chest, I’ve been thinking about it ever since you left.”

“I’ve been thinking about it too…” he sighs, “You mean a lot to me, I don’t know why, but I trust you, and I… I love you too.” The silence on the other end kills him.

“Sorry, I had to mute you to freak out.” He laughs, “You’re a nerd.”

“Thank you!” Sam walks out of the gas station they are at, “Alright Princess, Sam is here, I gotta go, we are staying in another motel tonight.” “Okay, you boys be safe, hand the phone to Sam, I love you!”

“Yeah, I love you too.” Sam raises an eyebrow at his brother who shrugs and hands the phone over. Dean couldn't hear the conversation but Sam looked concerned.

Back at the motel, Crowley popped in to confirm Lucifer was the President. 

“Why are your panties not in a twist?” Crowley asks the boys.

“We had a tip.” Dean informs.

“From who?”

“None of your business.” Dean says flatly. Crowley looks at Sam and Cas, “Is there a fourth member to ‘team free will’ that I don't know about?”

“Crowley, none of your business!”

“Woah, Okay, Squirrel!” He holds his hands up before speaking out of the corner of his mouth to Sam and Cas, “Squirrel must’ve found a nut!” Sam fights back a laugh. They all work to find a resolve to the situation. Sam tries to call Mick, Crowley offers Rowena. While Crowley goes to get Rowena, Cas goes to consult other angels, and Sam and Dean go to get food. The boys are on their way back when it happens, Cas pops into the car.

“Shit, Cas!”

“Hello Dean. Sam.” 

“Cas, what are you doing here?” Sam asks, twisting his body to the angel. 

“Something has happened.”

“Spit it out Cas.” Dean eyes him through the rearview mirror.

“Lucifer has created a nephilim.” The impala screeches to a halt. Dean turns to face Cas.

“I didn’t know he was dating.”

“There was a surge of celestial energy, bigger than a typical angel.” 

“Are you serious?” Sam asks.

“We all felt it in heaven and hell.” For a moment Dean feels annoyed, another thing to add to the list, now he has to go track down Lucifer's kid and kill him, he’s probably not going to be back at the bunker for a while now. Y/n is there…

“Fuck!” Dean punches the steering wheel. Why did you not tell him? Why would you let him kiss you knowing that? He gets out of the car, punches the hood a few times before taking out his phone. 

“Hello?” You ask, your voice is sweet and innocent, which pisses him off.

“You didn't think we needed to know!” He yells into the phone, you go silent for a few seconds.

“Cas just told you?”

“Yes! Cas just told us that Lucifer made a fucking kid! You didn't think you should tell us that?” His voice is booming in your ear. 

“Dean, again I couldn’t tell you.”

“No fuck that! You could’ve, do you know how many people this kid is going to kill?” You laugh, “Yes, I do.” 

“Are you fucking laughing?”

“Yes, sorry.”

“Is this a fucking joke to you?”

“Honestly Dean, a little bit. It's not funny right now though.”

“I can’t even fucking believe you, why did we trust you?”

“Dean, I couldn’t tell you because there was nothing you could do, even if there was I wouldn't want you to.”

“You’re insane.”

“I know I sound insane but I'm not. Trust me, this will all make sense later.”

“Fuck your later, and trust me bullshit! You either tell me now or get the fuck out.” Again you pause, “Dean, hun, I can’t tell you yet.”

“Then get the fuck out. You better be gone by the time Sam and I get back.”

“Dean-” He hangs up the phone, chucking it as far as he can. Once back in the car Sam and Cas look at him expecting an explanation but he just starts the car up and drives. 

Once the phone line goes dead you just sigh, there's nothing you can do. It’ll be months before they are home again. Luckily you predicted Dean’s reaction and when you talked to Sam that's what you told him. You boldly told him about the nephilim, just that Lucifer is creating a child. But that the child needed to be born for specific reasons. Telling him that they do deal with the child later. You told him Dean is going to hate you, he is going to be angry, not at the situation so much, but specifically at you for not telling him. So you told Sam that he would be your point of contact from now on, and to just let Dean cool down. 

When the boys get pulled over, it seems inconspicuous. Until they try to fire. When Ketch pulls up Dean feels confused. Cas does as Ketch says and wipes the agent's memories. Once Ketch introduces himself to the boys he leads them to a side road to talk. When Dean finds out that Sam was the one who called, he for the second time today, feels betrayed. While Ketch talks, Dean is just thinking about the whole day. The girl he opened himself up to, was vulnerable to betrayed him and Ketch had a grenade launcher, maybe this was the best thing to happen all day. He would love some new toys. However when Ketch asks what they are working on, he bargains, asking for trust first to prove Ketch is trustworthy. 

Dean can’t help but make a joke of the entire situation. Kelly was sitting in their motel, pregnant with Lucifer’s baby, “Well, to be fair, so is teleporting. But, ta-da!”

“Who are you people?” Kelly’s voice is shaking.

“Well,dear,” Rowena steps forward, “I'm a witch. He’s an angel.” 

“And I’m the king of hell.”

”Oh god!” Kellys shakes her head

“Actually he left.” Cas tells her. 

They continue to try to convince Kelly, the only thing that does is when he touches the bible. Everyone is convinced the nephilim is an abomination. Once Kelly agrees to help, Cas tells the group he will be back. Before anyone can ask where, or who, he is gone.

In the bunker you wait for Cas to arrive. When he does, you jump.

“Y/n? Whats going on?”

“Cas. I will be quick.” You grab ahold of his hands, “Save Kelly.”

“What?”

“Listen to me Cas! I need you to save Kelly. Her baby is not evil. He needs to be born, you will see that. Please Cas. Protect her, Please.”

“I-I dont know y/n.”

“Cas-”

“-I’ve got to get back, they are calling for me.” And he’s gone. You sigh and sit on the floor, knees to your chest. All you can do is cry and hope that it’ll be okay.

Next part:

[good-things-do-happen-dean]

the world begins anew | destiel | post-s15 softness. again

tags and the rest under the cut bc it got long!

The change is abrupt.

Right after the last of Cas’s grace burns out, he strips off his old clothes, toes out of his shoes, and walks stark naked out into the rain, eyes closed but turned to the heavens, arms outspread. It’s baptism. It’s absolution.

Sam goes inside to get him a towel, but Dean can only stand frozen and watch the Angel Castiel wash away into the earth, and Cas the human be reborn.

Now that Cas is human, he doesn’t wear his trench coat anymore. It’s a struggle to get him in shoes, let alone a suit and tie. He’s always padding around the bunker in (very distracting) low slung sweats and Dean’s ratty old shirts and bare feet, and Dean has to tear his eyes away from the sharp lines of his hipbones peeking out from his waistband.

When it gets chilly, he adds a chunky sweater on top, a couple of sizes too big, sleeves long enough he can use them as a sort of potholder for the steaming mugs of coffee he drinks just shy of boiling. He works at the cuffs until there are thumbholes, which delight him. He switches to old jeans, old enough that the denim has gone faded and soft, and thick woolen socks that match his sweaters, for when he crunches outside with Jack over a thin layer of frost. They spend a lot of time out there together, long walks through the woods surrounding the bunker and packed lunches. And they come back in, noses and cheeks red from the cold, grinning like mad about an interesting rock Jack found, or a perfectly preserved set of tracks, or a bird call they heard echoing through the trees. It’s the little things. The tiniest things Dean hasn’t thought about for decades, maybe ever.

That first winter, they do Christmas. Dean says it’s for the kid, but it’s for all of them, really. A celebration of surviving, of living beyond.

It’s a big deal, too. Everyone comes out. When they’re all together, Dean realizes their network is big. Bigger than he ever thought, spreading out over the years, the roots of a great tree. There’s him and Cas and Jack, of course. Sam and Eileen.

But then there’s Jody and Donna and the girls. Krissy, too, who becomes fast friends with Alex. They spend the tree-decorating tossing unstrung popcorn at the back of Dean’s head. Claire and Jack get along like a house on fire, it turns out.

Garth and Bess and all their kids. Claire catches a shot of Cas with little Castiel in his lap, both of them with their heads tilted, regarding each other earnestly with wide blue eyes. (Dean gets that one framed.)

Then there’s everyone who was shaken loose at the end. From upstairs, from downstairs, from just next door. Bobby and Rufus and Missouri. Charlie and Kevin and Linda. Max and Alicia. Ellen, Jo, and Ash. Benny. It turns out Benny, Charlie, and Jo are inseparable, for some reason. Dean can’t quite make sense of that one, but he grins himself stupid at the three of them chatting away in a corner of the library.

It’s better than he could ever have hoped. The bunker is full of life, finally, after so many years. Long unused bedrooms are dusted off and cleared out. They set up a huge tree in the map room that stretches up nearly to the top of the stairs. They do cocoa and gingerbread houses and they pile into cars to see the Christmas lights on main street. They decide to do movie night, but there’s no way they can all fit in the Dean Cave, so Charlie sets up a projector outside and they bundle up. (Cas smiles a little sadly at Clarence the angel.)

They can’t all stay forever, but they promise to come back. For birthdays and holidays and just when they feel like making the drive. And before people start peeling off, they take a family photo.

It’s Jack’s idea, or it’s Garth’s, or it’s Kevin’s, maybe. But hell if they don’t make the trip to the Target in Lincoln to get matching Christmas pajamas for all 29 of them. It’s the most obnoxious thing Dean’s ever done, and he can’t get enough of it.

Bobby and Ellen roll their eyes, but there are spots of pink high in their cheeks from the eggnog, so they do it anyway. Rufus puts his on without saying a thing, and stands right in the middle, holding up a sign that says, “Chag Sameach!” Charlie plops an elf hat on Kevin. Garth wears a Santa beard that’s way too big for his face. They set up a tripod all the way back in the library to get them all in the shot, crowded in front of the Christmas tree.

Dean isn’t sure if they get one with everyone looking at the camera before Alex and Krissy hold up a sprig of mistletoe as high as they possibly can, laughing when Sam bends to stand under it, bends even further to kiss Eileen. Claire snatches it from them and holds it over Cas with an exaggerated wink at Dean, shrugging and saying, “I don’t make the rules,” when Dean blushes scarlet.

Then everyone’s in on it, merry from the eggnog, and Dean asks Cas quietly if this is okay because they still haven’t figured out this decade-plus-long thing between them even now, and Cas just says yes, plain and simple. It’s quick, chaste, even, just a soft brush of lips, but when Dean pulls away, Cas is looking at him with stars in his eyes in his ridiculous reindeer footie pajamas, except Dean is also in ridiculous reindeer footie pajamas, and he can only hope Bobby clicked the remote to capture it. Everyone cheers. Even Claire cracks a smile as she rolls her eyes at them and says, “You’re welcome.”

Some of them have to head back to their lives. Some of them stick around for longer. Charlie and Ash set to streamlining the database Sam created. Benny takes up a permanent post in the kitchen, which nobody complains about. Claire decides to give school a try, for real this time, and enrolls at Kansas State. She gets a little place with Kaia in Manhattan, but they make the drive back to the bunker nearly every weekend. 

And now that it’s all finally out, finally in the open after years of longing and secrets and heartbreak and, eventually, trust, Cas moves into Dean’s room. They cover the walls with photos, at first mostly from that Christmas. The big one with everyone, even though Kevin’s eyes are closed and little Sam is mid-sneeze from Garth’s beard. Little Castiel in Cas’s lap. Ash wrapped in a string of Christmas lights, and Charlie and Jo doubled over laughing in the background. Claire and Jack with their arms around Cas, Jack’s head tilted against Cas’s shoulder. Missouri and Patience holding up their gingerbread creation. Ellen sandwiched between Rufus and Bobby on a couch, toasting something or another. Kevin after the movie night, cocooned in blankets, Max and Alicia on either side of him. Benny and Linda, another unlikely duo, mid-arm wrestle, Jody, Donna, and Bess cheering Linda on. Krissy and Alex with that sprig of mistletoe almost over Sam and Eileen.

The one Bobby managed to catch of their first kiss, or, really, right after it. Cas with his reindeer antlers and Dean with his Santa hat, both of them in those ridiculous pajamas, still crowding into each other’s space, smiling like the world was beginning anew. Because it was.

tagging: @joharvele | @contemplativepancakes | @fluffiestlou | @never-forever-more | @emblue-sparks | @tearsofgrace

[cozy-the-overlord]

Christmas Across the Stars

Summary: A backlogged mission on Jotunheim means Piper's going to miss Christmas with her family this year. At least she's not completely alone.

Written for @the-emo-asgardian's 'Tis The Season Writing Challenge on the prompt "snowed in and unable to get to family"

Word Count: 2,938

Pairing: Loki x OFC

A/N:  *wipes sweat off brow* whew! For a while I wasn't sure if I was going to get this done in time for Christmas. But here it is! I've been writing a lot of angst lately, so it was really nice to write something sweet and fluffy for a change. I did try to keep Piper somewhat vague as a character, but there's a lot of me/my family traditions in this story, so for that reason I decided to make it an OFC rather than a reader-insert. Hope you don't mind.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and your families, and I hope you all have a healthy and fulfilling New Year! Thanks for reading! :)

Tags: @lucywrites02 @gaitwae

Read it on Ao3!

She had been staring at the stone ceiling for nearly three hours when Piper decided enough was enough. Abandoning the thick, itchy blankets and the naïve dream of getting some sleep tonight, she reached for her boots.

One of the annoying things about life on Jotunheim (and there were many) was the inability to do a damn thing without first putting on fifty layers. Her nylon jacket rustled as she pulled it over her arms, zipping up with an obnoxious squeak. Across the room, Olsen popped up in her bunk.

“Wuzgoinon?” she muttered, opening a bleary eye.

“Nothing,” Piper said quickly. “I’m just going for a walk. Go back to sleep.”

Olsen hummed, head dropping back to the pillow. Her other two companions didn’t stir. Piper sighed and grabbed her scarf and hat.

Her footsteps echoed against the rocky walls as she made her way to the bunker entrance. They weren’t supposed to go outside alone, what with being stationed on an unpredictable alien planet and all, but the blizzard that had been raging on for the past two weeks had finally seemed to pass and Piper could use a breath of fresh air.

The frozen hellscape greeted her with it’s usual chilly slap to the face. She coughed, bringing her scarf above her nose. When they had first arrived, the cragged mountain cliffs had hypnotized Piper. They stretched far above the horizon, their jagged silhouettes cutting through the paint-splattered sky like a crooked dagger. It was a severe kind of beauty, unlike anything Piper had ever seen before.

Now, it felt like the serrated ridges were laughing at her.

Piper sat down against the bunker door with a grunt, rubbing her hands through her mittens. What was she even doing out here? What had she expected to find? Despite her day-long daydreams, the bitter wishes she stored deep in her heart, her reality had not changed: she was a tiny ant of a person, trapped on this icy rock of a planet, sleepwalking her way through this drawn-out farce of a mission.

What a way to spend Christmas Eve.

When she had signed up for this job, it had been an adventure. Traveling across the stars to a world that until recently had only existed in myth, to test out technology that would allow for interplanetary travel? Move over, Captain Kirk. Piper Bassow was boldly going where no (human) man had gone before.

The mission had supposed to last for six months. They left at the beginning of February, wide-eyed and excited for the enterprise. They had planned to be home in August. Then something came up, some snag with the tech back on Earth, easily fixed but it disrupted the schedule. Their return date was moved to October. No problem, Piper thought. We’ll still be back for the holidays.

Then, a blizzard knocked out their antenna. Again, easily fixed, but they had to wait for the wind to die down before they could risk going out to fix it. Disrupted the schedule. Now their return date was end of November.

We’re still fine, she told herself. Thanksgiving is a shit holiday anyways. Who cares if you miss it?

The final communication from SHIELD was what did her in. The last three months of data had gotten corrupted. They needed to stay until February. Piper had been on radio duty when she got the message. Instead of replying, she dashed the receiver against the wall.

It was immature. She had signed up for this mission knowing full well that there was a high chance that things wouldn’t go as planned. In fact, she should’ve been thankful—out of all the things that could have gone wrong, this was pretty innocuous. Everyone was safe, everyone was healthy, they had enough rations to last over a year. There was no reason to be this upset.

But … the reality that she was going to miss Christmas with her family this year was tough to grapple with. Christmas was a big deal. Her siblings and her had all long since moved out, but they still all flocked back by December the 24th, where they’d stay up all night stuffing their faces with their mother’s butter cookies and arguing over which movie to watch as the piney scent of the Christmas tree wafted through the room. No matter where they were in the world, they found a way home.

But Piper supposed she wasn’t anywhere in that world anymore.

She huffed, pulling her hands closer against her chest as the wind whistled on. Christmas had been the one thing she had been working towards all year. Feeling homesick? You’ll be home with everybody for Christmas. Getting frustrated with one of her teammates? By Christmas you’ll have forgotten they exist. Blizzard outside wrecking her day? Just think of all the stories you’ll have to tell everyone over Christmas dinner.

And yet, here she was, Christmas Eve, freezing her ass outside on this godforsaken ice cube.

“What are you doing out here?”

Piper nearly jumped out of her skin. She whipped around to find their Jotun guide looming over her with a frown. Nearly a year of companionship with him had proved that Loki Laufeyson was hardly the malevolent villain the rest of her world believed him to be (SHIELD wouldn’t have put this mission in his hands if he was), but something about his presence still unsettled her. He said very little, choosing to skulk in the shadows and reappearing only when he deemed it absolutely necessary. It never failed to amaze her that a living creature could move so quietly—you never realized he was besides you until you turned around and he was there.

Piper tried to pull herself to her feet, but with all her extra padding she just rocked around on the ground. Her face burned.

Loki raised an eyebrow. “Do you need help?”

“I’m fine,” she huffed, crossing her arms and scowling up at him. I guess I’m staying here for a bit. Where had he even come from? She was leaning against the bunker door—it hadn’t opened since she’d been here. “What are you doing out here?” she asked accusingly.

Loki motioned his head towards the boulder pile behind the bunker. “We were getting some odd readings from the east. I thought I should check up on it.”

“Oh.” Piper peered through the ice, but she couldn’t make out the sensor that was supposed to track the movements of Jotunheim’s celestial satellites. “Is everything okay?”

He nodded, gaze unflinching. “I believe an animal disrupted the apparatus. I righted it.” Cocking his head, he frowned. “So is there a reason you’re sitting outside in the middle of the night in the dead of Jotun winter, or have you just finally gone mad?”

Piper let out a breathy laugh despite herself. She leaned her head against the stone door. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Ah.” He sounded neutral enough, but Piper was fairly certain he was judging her.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” she added quickly. Glancing at her watch, she added, “Or Christmas Day. I’m not sure.” There was another annoyance about Jotunheim—the time difference was catastrophic.

“Oh,” Loki nodded again. He didn’t move. She frowned. What was he waiting for? Perhaps he didn’t know what she was talking about.

“It’s a holiday,” she explained. “On Earth. It’s kind of a big deal.”

“Yes, I’m aware.” For a moment, the two of them were silent, Piper staring out into the snow, Loki staring down at Piper. She waited for him to walk away, but he didn’t budge.

She sighed. “Do you need something?”

“You are upset.” He said it so matter-of-factly, as if it were plain as day. Piper’s embarrassment came flooding back.

“No. It’s not—” she inhaled. He was right. She was far too upset. “I just—I thought I’d be home for it.” Her eyes were burning. Piper leaned her head back against the door in frustration. Was she seriously crying over this?

“Oh.” Surely he’d leave now, now that he knew that nothing was actually wrong. She shifted to move her weight from against the door so he would be able to return inside. But to Piper’s surprise, he didn’t leave. After a moment’s hesitation, Loki sat down next to her with a grunt.

“I’m afraid my knowledge of Midgardian tradition is rather lacking,” he said as he made himself comfortable against the door. “Christmas is a religious holiday, yes?”

Piper stared. It took her a moment for her to find her voice. “Oh, um, yeah—” she stuttered. “Technically. But not everyone who celebrates it is super religious. Like, I don’t think anyone in my family has gone to church in their life.”

“What is it you celebrate then?” He leaned forward, seeming genuinely interested

“I don’t know. Family. Giving. That’s what they call it, the season of giving.” Geez, she sounded like the star in a Hallmark movie. “My family always had a big get-together every year. Or, has—I guess they still are this year, I’m just… not there.” Her voice trailed off pitifully. Piper forced a smile, desperate to show him that she wasn’t completely pathetic. “But it’s fun. We have cookies and chocolates and everything and we decorate the tree and give each other presents—”

“Pardon me,” Loki interrupted, perking up. “What do you mean ‘decorate the tree’?”

“Oh, yeah.” Of course he wouldn’t know what she was talking about. “It’s a Christmas thing. You get a pine tree—some people have fake ones, my family always goes to a farm to get one—and you put it in your house, and you decorate it with lights and ornaments and stuff, and then you put the presents for everyone under the tree.”

That was another thing she missed this year. Usually, whoever was in town with her parents for Thanksgiving would drive out with them to the Christmas tree farm the next day to help pick out a tree. That was always an adventure—her mom would be scurrying between the lines of trees as the rest of them rushed to follow her, pine needles attacking them mercilessly from both sides. Piper’s mother was a perfectionist in every aspect of life and picking out a tree was no different. They’d spend hours circling the farm, listening to her as she found a flaw in each one they came across.

“The shape of this one is just too wide. Far too dry. Oh look, there’s a hole right in the middle! That one’s beautiful, but it’s so tall, I don’t think it would fit in our house—”

Eventually, she would find a tree that came close enough to her standards (“well, this one has a bare side, but we’ll put it up against the wall so no one will see it”) and Piper would crawl under the thing with the shitty saw they got at the front and go to work, her two sisters bouncing around like cheerleaders at a football game when the tree finally came crashing down.

Piper suddenly realized that she wasn’t going to get to see this year’s tree.

Besides her, Loki sounded lost in thought. “That sounds like Yule.”

She turned, frowning. “Yule?”

“An Asgardian holiday. We decorate pine trees as well.” He sighed, almost wistfully. Piper had never seen him this relaxed before. “It’s probably where the Midgardian custom comes from.”

“Oh, yeah.” She thought she had heard that once, that a lot of Christmas traditions had come from the Vikings, although she had never made the connection between that and Asgard. It made sense—wasn’t Loki straight out of Viking myth? “What do your tree decorations look like?”

Loki hummed. “We had special enchantments on the trees to create the illusion of glowing orbs of light within the branches. You couldn’t touch them—your hand would go right through.” He laughed. “It drove my brother mad when we were little. On more than one occasion he knocked down the whole damn tree trying to grab the light.”

Piper grinned. “That sounds like our cat! We have these little glass balls that are like, multicolored, and he’s always trying to bat them down. My mom wakes up to find ornaments all over the floor. One time he even managed to get the star” That cat’s a little shit and he knows it, she’d tell Piper on the phone. I can’t wait til you guys get home. He’s always on his best behavior for you.

Loki was staring at her quizzically. “The star?”

“Yeah. You put the star at the top of the tree, and it lights up. It’s like a topper ornament. I’m not sure where that comes from.” Piper sighed. “I hope they’re able to get it all set up this year. I’m usually the one who does the lights and the star and everything.”

“I’m sure they’ll manage.”

“Yeah.” Of course they would. The idea that they couldn’t manage without her was nothing but wishful thinking on Piper’s part, a tiny, selfish little part of her that wished they were as lonely and miserable as she was. “It’s just—” she inhaled. “I’ve never missed Christmas before.” Her fingers were going numb under her mittens. She rubbed them against each other.

She could feel Loki’s eyes on her, studying her as she blew into her hands. He didn’t say anything for the longest time, but the silence felt more analytical than judgmental.

“You should go inspide,” he finally said. “It’s far too cold out here for you to just be sitting still.”

He was right, but still Piper bristled. “I’m fine.”

“Please.” He stood in one fluid motion, holding his palm out to her. “If you freeze to death out here, SHIELD will find a way to blame me for it.”

“I—” Her pride screamed at her to keep protesting, but the biting wind was picking up, cutting under her coat and piercing her bones. She couldn’t help the shivers, even as Loki shot her a pointed look.

Piper sighed. “Alright.” She took his hand (how was he so warm?!) and allowed him to pull her to her feet and lead her inside.

…

“Bassow! Bassow, wake up!”

The shouts rattled her skull as she pulled herself from deep within the recesses of sleep. “Hng?”

She was face down in her bunk. When had she even gone back to bed last night? She had been talking to Loki …

It was Medoff who was yelling her name.

“Come on, you’ve got to see this!” her teammate shouted in her ear as she shook her arm.

Piper groaned, pulling herself from the warm cocoon of blankets she had wrapped around herself at some point in the night. Her head was pounding. What time is it?

“See what?” she muttered.

Medoff yanked her out of bed, seemingly trying to jerk her up. “You’ve just got to see it. You won’t believe it otherwise.”

It was too cold. Piper ripped her blanket from her mattress and followed Medoff through the bunker hallways with it wrapped around her shoulders like a cloak, head lost in a sleepy fog.

“Is this really that import—” she trailed off when they reached the common area. The table where they took their meals had been pushed into the corner, but that was hardly what rendered her speechless.

There was a tree. A great, big, beautiful evergreen tree, with needles of emerald green, more vibrant than any Piper had ever seen on Earth. Kaleidoscopic orbs floated amongst the branches, slowly shifting through the colors of the rainbow before her eyes, held to the tree by chains of silver light. And on the top … it was a star, but comparing it to the plastic things Piper would haphazardly wrestle to the top of her Midgardian Christmas trees felt like a crime. It was as if someone had plucked one of the celestial bodies from the night sky and just fixed it at the peak, sparkling so bright it was almost blinding.

For a moment, Piper just blinked. “What—how—”

“We don’t know!” Olsen laughed from the table, where she was sitting with Wynn, the final member of their team. “We just woke up a few minutes ago, and it was like this! Isn’t it insane?”

“I mean, it is Christmas Day,” Wynn said. “Back at home, I mean. I guess Santa made it to Jotunheim after all.”

“Yeah. Santa.” Coming to her senses, Piper glanced about the room. It couldn’t be a coincidence that the most enchanting Christmas tree in existence magically appeared in their bunker mere hours after that conversation. She found him lurking in the hallway, watching them all from afar. Loki met her gaze, and Piper suddenly realized his eyes were the same brilliant green as the tree.

The biting homesickness that had been festering in her heart was still there, but it was beginning to fade, as if someone had wrapped it in a warm blanket.  She smiled. As her colleagues continued to chatter over the tree, Piper made her way over to the Jotun prince.

“Thank you.”

He shrugged. “It was hardly an unpleasant task. I thought I might enjoy indulging nostalgia for a day as well.”

The changing lights from the tree cast a mystical glow to the desolate bunker, sparkling across the stone walls. It was like living within the Northern Lights. Hesitantly, Piper reached to put her hand on his forearm. “Merry Christmas, Loki.”

At first, he stiffened, but after a moment, he returned her warm smile. “Merry Christmas.”

[thestylesindependent]

Inside Eroda, the fictional Harry Styles island that’s baffled the internet

Full Text from The Telegraph 4/12/2019

It all started on November 20. A Twitter account opened in October released its first post: “The Isle of Eroda’s rich history is embedded in daily life as the ruins of many structures from the past remain standing across the land. #VisitEroda”

It looked like a new marketing campaign for a little-visited, off-beat beauty spot. But a quick search would show it didn’t actually exist. Yet, Eroda had a website. Advertisements for the place were popping up on Facebook and Google. People interested in all manner of nerdy subcultures were foxed – it had the whiff of a clever marketing campaign about it, but what was it for?

Within hours, an Eroda subreddit had been created to discuss it. People dived deep into web hosting details, and only became more baffled as they seemed legitimate: “it ain't no kid doing a school project”. Was it a scam, a game, an elaborate prank? Some were convinced it was the beginning of a new Cloverfield film, World of Warcraft, a new Channel 4 series or even a means of human trafficking.

Meanwhile, scores of “Harries”, the sub-group of Directioners dedicated to Harry Styles, were piecing bits of evidence together. The pop star was due to release Adore You, the second single off his forthcoming sophomore album. “Adore” backwards was “Eroda”, and the video, released on November 23, looked like it had been shot in St Abbs, the Berwickshire fishing village where Styles had been spotted shooting in August. As Eroda claimed more of the internet, Harries  – some of the most forensic fans in the world – were sent into a flurry of investigation.

The goliath churn of a pop star marketing campaign is fairly familiar by now: cryptic social media teaser, excitable release date news, lyric video, full video, rinse, repeat.

Styles, who will release sophomore album Fine Line on December 13 and Adore You on Friday, satisfied many speculating fans on Monday with a near-three-minute-long trailer for the single, along with an illustration of the star standing in the ocean, surrounded by fish.

To those who had been studying Eroda for the past 10 days it was the confirmation they had been hankering for: Eroda was a Harry Styles project, and it confirmed what they had always known – that he is an artist beyond the normal realms of pop frippery (by contrast, former bandmate Louis Tomlinson spent the same afternoon releasing a video in which he sings in a bunker wearing a Stone Island parka).

Styles’ trailer introduced Eroda, showing it to be an island in the middle of the Irish Sea “shaped unmistakably like a frown, it is home to an all-but-forgotten fishing village that has had perpetual cloud cover for as long as anyone can remember”. Scenes appear of a typical coastal village, with crashing waves and brave little houses facing them. It gets increasingly weird: we learn that it is bad luck to “mention a pig in a fisherman’s pub” and to “whistle in the wind, in case you turn a gust into a gale”; the island mustn’t be left on odd-numbered days.  

The inhabitants of Eroda’s village always frown, calling it “resting fish face”. Until, that is, a beaming baby appears amidst the gloom. Deemed “peculiar” (a word that pops up a lot), the boy – who grows up to become Harry Style – was outcast, leading him to deal with his angst by screaming into jars. “He had lost his smile, and without it, the world grew darker, the wind colder, and the ocean more violent” the pan-European narrator explains. “Loneliness is an ocean full of travellers trying to find their place in the world”, she continues, as Harry finds himself bonding with a stubborn fish, before the film ends “to be continued…”

So far, so intriguing. But delve a little deeper into Eroda and you may find yourself wanting to visit. The island’s website – beautiful island views and a template dating back to the late Noughties – looks remarkably similar to those for any other charming coastal holiday destination, say Bute or Oban. “No Land Quite Like It”, reads Eroda’s strapline, before offering a familiar-enough menu: Accommodations, Attractions, Guide, Home and About Eroda. The video is similarly convincing: “Make memories for your senses at VisitEroda.com”, a dulcet-voiced woman encourages over shots of crabmeat and speedboats.

It didn’t take long for the Harries to take over the Eroda subreddit, moderators becoming increasingly rigid in ruling nuggets of unrelated Eroda flotsam irrelevant to the cause of discovery (such as the user who wanted to discuss Eroda, but without any intervention from the Harries). Tumblr users were similarly invested: “What do the ominous references to Him portend? What are they serving at those town dinners? You think it’s a cute little coastal AU [alternative universe] but upon closer examination it’s full-on Wicker Man meets Hotel California meets Nightvale in the afterlife (which is what most of those places are anyway so sure why not),” posted 1D Discourse of the Day.

The whole thing is littered with wordplay. Eroda, for one, is Adore backwards (Harry’s next single is called Adore You). But, as Directioners have pointed out, the copy throughout the website nods to forthcoming Styles songs: The Fisherman’s Pub is located on the corner of Cherry Street and Golden Way (Cherry is one new song, Golden is another); the album will be released on Friday, 13 December and Eroda recommends avoiding a departure on an odd-numbered day. Eroda’s fishermen wear a single gold earring for good fortune – a look historically sported by Styles.

Directioners went further still: the hosting for VisitEroda.com and Styles’ website, doyouknowwhoyouare.com, were owned by the same company, MarkMonitor.inc. Social media pixels linked pages about Styles with Eroda. Fans became suspicious over Visit Eroda adverts appearing not on their social channels or YouTube, but, of all places, on Wikipedia. “I'M FROM FRICKING PORTUGAL,” a baffled Reddit user posted. “NOTHING EVER HAPPENS HERE. WHY IS THIS HERE”.

Eroda had analog presence, too. A4 pamphlets – the kind of thing one could make on MS Publisher circa 1998 – appeared in the freesheet boxes on the pavements of Manhattan. At a promo event in Paris, Harry was asked about Eroda by a fan. He remained silent, but those who were there claim he “made a face”.

By November 29, more evidence arrived. A short film “advert”, which used footage from the trailer released on Monday, was screened by a new Harry Styles fan account from “Eroda”. They said the film appeared in a cinema in Kinlochbervie, on Scotland’s northern coast; the Eroda account then started to tweet about cinema screening times.  Eagle-eyed fans were swift to post screengrabs, showing similar island formations in the background of both the Eroda advert and that featuring Styles. The two were linked.

Kinlochbervie was, fittingly, a bit of a red herring: the footage shown in both the advert and the video trailer was actually taken in St Abbs, a picturesque fishing village in Berwickshire that’s no stranger to a rolling camera – it was “twinned” with New Asgard after being used as a location for Thor’s new home in Avengers Endgame.

Styles was there in August, shooting, it appears, a few things for the forthcoming album campaign. He and his crew used Angela Morris’s cottage, in St Abbs’ Sea View Terrace, as a green room during the three days of filming in the village, after Morris had responded to a note being popped through the door from a filming company. “One Thursday I was just coming home from work and there was Harry walking into the house,” she tells me. “All of the costumes were in the living room, make-up was going on in the kitchen.

“I asked if I could wait in the garden before my husband and I went out for the evening, so I just sat there when Harry came out,” Morris said. “I think he was having a coffee, and he sat down and chatted, asked me about bits and pieces about the village. I was talking to him about his Gucci clothes and we had a bit of a laugh. I wasn’t too starstruck, really, and I think he appreciated that.” Later on in the shoot, Styles invited Morris and her husband to share a glass of champagne with him and the crew.

While the shoot interrupted the sleepy pace of life on St Abbs for a few days – Morris says that visitor numbers had already been boosted by Avengers Endgame but small crowds of teenage girls began to crop up after word spread of Harry’s location – most villagers, she reckons, are pleased to see the place put on the map: “Most people I saw were embracing it and interested to see what was going on.”

A German artist named Mario Klingemann was, however, more incensed when his holiday collided with the shoot: “I didn't know who Harry Styles was until today when I learned that he's the guy who blocked off the entire St Abbs harbour and prevented us from enjoying our fresh crab rolls," he posted on Twitter, aggrieved.

But Morris found out about Eroda much like everybody else – through Facebook. “It’s really odd,” she assess. “Lovely footage of beautiful St Abbs, though.”

Long-lens pap shots from that shoot certainly seem to match up with what we’ve seen of Eroda so far. Styles gangles around in Seventies suits, befitting the aesthetic of his trailer. The smoking gun, though, is the presence of a young woman with hair that brings to mind a Dr Seuss illustration, or the hat Princess Beatrice wore at the Cambridges’ wedding. VisitEroda’s “about” page explains: “The primary occupation in Eroda is fishing, however, the island’s art scene has recently started to develop. In particular, Erodean hairstyles have become a rather bold expression of self amongst the island’s youth”. Clearly, these are scenes of Eroda that are being filmed.

There’s an unmistakably ominous air to Eroda, and some believe the video for Adore You will see some misfortune befall Styles – there were reports of a (fake) gunshot being filmed in St Abbs while he was there.

But what happens next is arguably less intriguing than what we’ve been given with Eroda so far. We are well-used to being nudged and prodded by pop stars ahead of a new release. Major albums aren’t so much brought out as “dropped” or “leaked”, arriving online in the middle of the night before their fans disseminate them through the internet. Fans, rather than critics, are given early listens – and under tight NDAs. Artists will clear their channels to mark a new direction, only to give us elaborate photoshoots and contrived poetry to create a “concept”.

Eroda is undeniably a “concept” – themes of loneliness, peculiarity, conformity and happiness have been woven into the fictional island from the off. But it’s been artfully done; look deep enough into the Reddit forums and you’ll see non-Styles fans begrudgingly accepting that this is the work of a former boy band frontman, rather than that of a somehow more “serious” game creator, filmmaker or even musician. Furthermore, it’s fun – and that’s all too rare in a pop world where things have become obsessed with authenticity, and a rogue comment can result in “cancellation”. One Directioner popped up on a thread only to add, “As someone who works in marketing/promotion... This is fucking genius. Harry Styles' team is tops”, and it’s difficult to disagree.

After a decade in which stars have had to up their social media presence to survive, tweaking and teasing their listenership in ever-increasing desperation to retain shrinking attention spans, Styles is closing out the 2010s with the greatest album campaign we’ve seen so far. As an artistic statement, it suggests the 2020s will be his to claim.

[followyourenergy]

What We Deserve

Read it here or on AO3! Join me in my angsty pain over Cas and Dean’s teary faces...

“You made a deal.”

‪“I had to.”‬

‪“Damn it, Cas, we...” He trailed off as tears pooled in his eyes. ‬

Tears were new and unsettling to Castiel. He was used to Dean’s anger, to his passion, to his fire and defiance and determination, but sadness and desperation...“I’m sor—”

“Why?” Dean demanded, his voice cracking.

“For you. For Sam. For our family. And it worked out, because now Jack can help save the world—”

“Great.” He swiped a hand over his face. “Why do we have to save everyone else while we lose everything, huh?”

It was a question Castiel couldn’t answer for Dean, because he’d never answered it for himself. But he hated the glassy desperation staring at him, so he tried, “You’re not losing everything—”

“The hell I’m not!”

Castiel’s brow creased at Dean’s phrasing—I instead of we. “You and I both know that sacrifices must be made sometimes—”

“No! I’m sick of it! I’m sick of losing everyone I—damn it. Damn it.” He sighed as his tears slipped down his cheeks.

“Dean—”

“We could’ve found another way, Cas. We—”

“No. We wanted Jack back. This was the only way. This is what we wanted.“

“Not like this! Not...not like this.”

Tears formed in Castiel’s own eyes. Angels didn’t cry, but Castiel was more human than angel these days...in the ways that mattered, anyway. “Please understand. You fought for this whole world. I fought for you. Everything, always...for you. I needed to give you this. And now, now you’ll have the chance to win.”

Dean glanced at Jack, at Sam and Eileen, at Amara, at all the hunters who were gathered together to fight God, then he turned back to Castiel and pointed a finger at him. “Okay. We will deal with this later. First, we defeat God. Then, we get you out of that deal.”

“Dean—”

“I won’t lose you. Not again.” Dean stepped into his personal space and rested his hands on his shoulders. “I want you to stay, Cas.”

Castiel nodded. “I’ll try.”

                                                      ***

They fought. They won.

And when the dust settled and time seemed to resume, Dean looked for Cas so they could head back home and solve the Empty problem...

...but he was gone.

All that was left of him was a note, pinned with Cas’ angel blade to the table—the same table Dean had wrapped Cas on after Lucifer killed him. 

Dean—

The moment I felt the universe shift, I knew you won. I knew you—and the world—were safe and well, and would continue to be. I knew that you were finally free to live your life for yourself. To choose.

That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.

I was happy. 

I couldn’t help it. Your freedom and your peace bring me too much joy.

The Shadow came to collect.

I’m sorry.

Live well. Be happy. You deserve it.

I love you, Dean. I love you.

The paper slipped from Dean’s hand. His teeth ached as he clenched them, desperately clinging to his old habit of bottling his feelings (though it was usually with a bottle in his hand). But the exquisite pain of love lost and opportunities missed was too great to bear. He sunk to his knees and wept, letting the others clean up the mess out there for once.

A voice broke into his private grieving. “Hello Dean.”

Wrung out but nowhere near dry, Dean raised his face until he met Amara’s eyes.

“You saved the world. Again.“

“So?” he rasped, utterly exhausted from a lifetime of fighting and grief.

She regarded him curiously. “So?”

“Yeah, so what? I mean, great for them, great for you, great for everybody...everybody but me.

“It’s not ‘great’ for you?”

“Not even close.”

She knelt in front of him and placed a hand on his heart. “Ah,” she said after a moment.

Dean shifted his body away until her hand dropped. He closed in on himself, hoping she’d get the hint and leave him alone.

”You deserve a great reward for all you have done, Dean.”

Since when do we get what we deserve? he thinks sullenly. ”Don’t want it. Don’t give it to me.” There was only one thing he wanted, and she couldn’t give it to him. The Shadow had taken Cas, completing their deal. What good was any reward if Cas couldn’t be with him?

“I can’t give you the reward. That’s up to you. But I do hope to provide you with the means.” She stroked his hair. “Thank you for everything. Allow yourself your reward and enjoy the peace you’ve earned, Dean.”

She disappeared and he stared dully at the floor, rewards and peace the furthest things from his mind. 

As the sunlight began to fade, the floor groaned with heavy footsteps that stopped in front of him. Sam fell to one knee and wrapped him in a hug.

“I loved him,” he admitted to his brother.

Sam’s arms tightened around him. “I know.” He squeezed him tighter. “We have to go.”

Dean didn’t speak in the car, nor at the cheap motel, nor when they stepped into the Bunker the next day. No one bothered him when he grabbed as much alcohol as he could carry and went straight to his room. 

He opened his door and dropped his bag and the alcohol to the floor, planning to duck out to use the bathroom before he locked himself into the room for the foreseeable future. 

“Hello Dean.”

Dean slowly raised his head, thinking perhaps he was hallucinating. He looked at the source of the greeting and blinked. “Cas?”

Cas was sitting on his bed, hands folded, wearing Dean’s clothes. “Yes.”

“H-How...?”

“A deal was struck between the Shadow, Billie, and Amara,” he explained softly. “In thanks for your efforts—and to ensure that I could never disturb the Shadow’s sleep ever again, which I wouldn’t stop doing when I was there—I was sent back to Earth...as a human.” 

Dean stared at him as he absorbed the information and the fact that Cas was there, safe and alive and with him.

“Amara...she said this is what you needed. Me, I mean. So you could get your reward. I’m not certain what she meant.”

At that, Dean rose to his feet. “I know what she meant,” he murmured. He approached the bed and sat next to him, gathering up his courage to speak. “Cas, I can’t think of a better reward than living my life for myself...with you.”

Cas’ brow creased, and even as a human he still tilted his head in confusion. “Dean?”

“I’m not a believer in fate or destiny, you know that. But I believe in us. We’re real. We’ve always been real. And everything we’ve fought for, everything we’ve won, everything we...we feel...I wanna share it with you. Together.”

Cas nodded. 

“I’m not the easiest person to be with, you know that, and we’ve had our stuff. But we got the rest of our lives to do better than we have, if...if you want.”

Cas nodded again. They gazed at each other until, slowly, Dean cupped Castiel’s face. “I love you, too, you know.”

It was like a sunrise in slow-motion—the lift of Cas’ brows, the flush of his cheeks, the light of his small, surprised smile. Dean smiled, too, like one does when seeing such a beautiful sight. There wasn’t a lot of beauty in his world—but with the man in front of him, he was hoping that would change. 

He leaned forward, giving Castiel plenty of time to back away.  But he didn’t back away. Instead, he leaned forward, too, inching closer until finally, finally, their mouths met—halting and testing, then firm and fervent, clinging and desperate, alive and free.

It was the end of something, and the beginning of something new. 

[samclownchester]

The day is June 15 2020

The time is 3 am

The situation is that the world has fallen into a pandemic of Covid-19, and my job closed down in March, leaving me with lots of time on my hands. Despite my doubts, I fell back into Supernatural, deep into it, and I am now rewatching it. I thought it would be fun to try and see how much I could remember from earlier seasons before I watch them all

I have watched up to 1x14 at this point, so those episodes are fresh in my mind, but lets see what else I remember

Season 1

“Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days”

“Saving people, hunting things, the family business”

Sam’s girlfriend dies just like his mom did

Their dad is the point of the season but is only actually in like 3 episodes

Sam and Dean break up but get back together

Sam has VISIONS and moves things with his MIND

Meg is a demon, Sam has a bit of a crush on her

They find their dad, but don’t kill the demon

colt

Season 2

Dean dies in a car crash, John sells his soul for him and dies

Bobby Singer is best dad

Ellen and Jo and Ash exist

Purple Nurple

Gordon?

Lots of psychics! Sam can make friends??

Jk, it’s the hunger games

Sam gets stabbed in the back

Dean sells his soul for him

They kill Azazel I think??

“I have … demon blood in me?”

Season 3

Saving Dean from his demon deal

Groundhog day episode where Dean dies everyday

Gabriel?? (trickster)

Blonde Ruby (let’s hear it for Laurel Lance!)

Very short because there was a writers’ strike that year

Hell hounds

Season 4

Dean was “gripped tight and raised from perdition” by Castiel

Sam has a new gf! (Surprise, it’s Ruby in a new body! :o)

Why does she pretend to not know Dean when he first shows up? Is she lying to Sam about who she is this whole time?? Hmmm I wish I remembered

Time travel?? (Sam doesn’t get to come ☹ )

Demon blood

Demon blood detox ☹

Let’s kill Lilith

“Because it had to be you Sam”

“The boy with the demon blood”

Season 5

Dean is the Michael sword

Sam is messed up, trying to quit demon blood

Cas rebelled, and he did it, all of it, for Dean

Adam Winchester is a person who exists

Also I think this is the season with Jesse the antichrist who never shows up again it’s fine.

He only existed so they could have important conversations about nature vs nurture which honestly they should’ve just saved from when Jack was born but they didn’t know that was gonna happen

More time travel??

Future

Cas likes drugs

Team Free Will

Samifer

Fall into the cage

Dean goes to live with Lisa and Ben

The end?

Season 6

Cas is working with Crowley and spying on Dean but not talking to him like the pining idiot that he is

Dean can’t help but inspect monster happenings in town

Soulless!Sam

Dean finds Soulless Sam

Hanging out with some old dude?

Get Sam’s soul back

Meet Death?

Find out Cas is working with Crowley

 O: Ultimate betrayal

???

Season 7

Leviathans

Godstiel?? Why?? Idr

Hallucifer

Please give Sam therapy

Sam goes to an asylum

Cas takes Sam’s trauma??    

More leviathans

Dick?

Charlie!

Kevin!

Garth? Did we know him before. Idk, we know him now

Dean and Cas go to purgatory!

When does Cas die and walk into the lake? That’s before they go to Purgatory, right? Hmmmm but how does he come back

 Cas is Emmanuel and has a wife? Is that in this season?

Season 8

Dean gets out of purgatory!

But no Cas

Sam had a girlfriend and a dog! Nice!

Not nice, he ignored Kevin and didn’t look for Dean

Like they agreed on, but whatever ok sue him for trying to be happy

Dean has a vampire boyfriend

Not so high and mighty about killing every monster are we now, huh Dean?

Right? I don’t remember, this is a conversation that happens though

He does end up killing Benny though, doesn’t he? huh

Cas is back from Purgatory! But he’s got Secrets ™

“I’m gonna become a hunter”

Then he stays in the old folks home and next time we see him he’s all wacky and likes to watch the bees?

Megstiel

You’re just playing sorry

Am I right?? I don’t remember, but all of this happens at some point

Who even is the big bad? What are we fighting? Idk

Oh we have to save Kevin from Crowley and he reads the demon tablet. Only eats hotdogs, doesn’t shave. I love him please keep him safe.

Spoilers, they don’t

Right! The trials, Sam does the trials, they “purify” him

The angels fall, but Sam doesn’t complete the trials and almost dies.

Season 9

Sam almost dies, Dean is like “right, nonconsensual possession is clearly the best answer for this”

Human!Cas, he drinks lots of water. Steve.

§  “you can’t stay here” :o

Abaddon I think?? What was the point

Crowley is sort of our friend now and I think we meet Rowena? Idr

Kevin dies ☹

“What is the upside to me being alive” – Sam

§  Maybe in this season, maybe not. Who knows?

Cas is a cannibal (eats grace) and becomes and angel again at some point

§  Hannah exists

We all hate Metatron

Cain??

Metatron stabs Dean and Sam puts his dead body on the bed

Demon!Dean

Season 10

Demon!Dean and Crowley are living it up!

Sam and Cas try to cure Dean

Charlie and Rowena interact a lot I think

Book of the Damned

When did they find the bunker? Men of Letters? All that? Idr, anyway they have it at this point

Dean kills lots of people

Charlie dies ☹

Dean blames Sam which is unfair and I hate it

They get the mark off and The DarknessTM is release

Season 11

The Baby episode exists

Really weird sexual tension between Dean and Amara while she’s still kind of a child, no one knows why. Please stop.

Cas gets called expendable and then makes poor life decisions

Lbr, though, Misha is the only other one who can play Lucifer with the same spirit as Mark Pellegrino. Sorry Jared, it’s the truth.

Eileen!! <3

Chuck is God :o

Let’s kill Amara!

Except we don’t kill her, she just needs to bond with her bro.

Here, have your mom back

Season 12

Mom????

British Men of Letters

Lucifer F*cks

Boy I didn’t think this would turn into what it did, let me tell you

Winchesters escape from Federal Prison

Cas says “I love you”

But like, the plural you. No homo.

Sam admits he lost his drive to lead, then finds it again and leads hunters against the dang brits! Hooray!

Oh shoot Lucifer wants custody of his kid!

FIGHT

Fatality – Castiel

Fatality – Mary

Oh no wait she didn’t die she’s just trapped.

Season 13

Jack jack jack jack jack

3 dads, all at various levels of dadding

Actually 2 excellent dads, one dad who is too emotionally damaged to dad but he tries sometimes

Yeah Cas pisses of a cosmic entity. That won’t come back to bite him

Jack just wants to be good

Wayward sisters was not picked up which sucks

Apocalypse world

Rowena is our friend now

Custody Battle!!! Who wins? Not Lucifer

We saved the day! And a ton of people

Literally they made a whole deal of the people being like “We won’t leave our home or our cause” and then they got back to Sam and Dean’s world, didn’t have archangel grace and were just like “meh, actually this place is cool. We don’t have to worry about going back”

Psych! We’re not done yet! Luci wants his kid

And Michael wants his planet

Season 14

Michael! Dean

Jack dies

But it’s ok, we fixed you, just don’t use your powers

Oh shoot he used his power

Nick is somehow alive

In love with Lucifer

Burn his ass!!

Oh Mary disapproves

RIP Mary

RIP Dean being a father, now he’s gonna murder

Hi Chuck, nice of you to show up

Oh no.

Season 15

Chuck sucks

Dean and Cas break up ☹

Sam has visions again

But he’s not psychic, it’s just the piece of his soul inside Chuck

Resurrect your girlfriend! Yeah!!

Jack is eating hearts, but it’s ok, Death told him to do it.

Garden of Eden?

Get your soul back boy!

 And cry

Honorable mentions (Aka these happened but idr when)

Sam falls in love with a werewolf and then has to kill her and MAN Jared really brought the tears

AU where Supernatural is a TV show

Finding out Supernatural is a book series and the author is Chuck!

Crowley becomes helpful mostly

Crowley has a son??

 Meet grandpa

Ellen, Jo, and Ash die

Bobby dies

literally everybody dies

Kill Hitler

They meet that Jewish guy with the Golem who pretended to flirt with Dean at some point.

Jimmy Novak was a devout man who deserved a lot better than he got

Claire Novak is so cool

She moves in with Jody

When do we meet Jody? She’s just always kinda been there?

Gabriel, I don’t remember anything about Gabriel

The council of the Gods’ happens and then I think Gabriel dies in that episode?? Idr

The Four Horsemen

Death, Pestilence, War, Famine

“You’re not hungry Dean”

 I literally do not remember what was happening with these guys

Also, they killed Death, killed a reaper, that reaper became the new Death. I remember when all that happened I just didn’t feel like putting it in the timeline.

[c-is-for-circinate]

I wasn’t expecting it, but I think one of the most fascinating things to watch in Campaign 1 of CritRole (and increasingly interesting in Campaign 2!) are the different interactions characters have around gods and religion, and I’m so excited for more.

Pike loves her quiet, distant god of healing and second chances in such an easy, sure-footed way, with bright faith and service.  It’s so simple for her, in the middle of all the chaos and muddle and ethical doubt in the hearts of everyone else she loves, and it’s exactly the bright contrast the whole group needs, without being cheap.  Faith and sureness in a god doesn’t actually make Pike less confused about everything all the time either.  Piety doesn’t make her less fierce.  Pike’s fascinating, because she’s sweet and she’s good, deep to her bones, she heals and cares and builds temples and gives council, and she’s also a dragon-slaying monstah who’ll charge out of her room in a midnight assassination attempt naked in her gauntlets, shield in one hand and mace in the other, bleeding from everywhere and ready to fight.  And those things don’t conflict for her, because sometimes goodness is fierce, and the pieces that wouldn’t fit together for someone else do for her, and damnit I miss Pike again already.

Percy will make a deal with any god or demon who’ll offer him a good enough bargain.  That’s who he is, Percy the Negotiator (do we have official alignments on Vox Machina?  Is Percy actually Lawful Neutral or does he just really, really feel like it?).   It’s selfish and arrogant and full of a very deep respect for the gods all at the same time.   Percy in the Raven Queen’s temple is as humble and honest and bare as he ever gets, stripped down and vulnerable, and even then he’s controlled and deliberate in offering his own vulnerability, like it’s a gift, like it’s something she might want, like a price he’s willingly choosing to pay in hopes of getting the thing he desperately needs in return.  He respects gods, and gives them his humility, but he doesn’t have faith, not really, not the soul-deep belief that some other power would do anything for him that he didn’t pay for himself.  And meanwhile he reveres people--not person, but people, the work of human lifetimes, the metaphysical enormity of cities, of countries, of history, of concepts and beliefs and things built that become more than the sum of their parts, for good or for ill.  The sacred glory of Westrun and Whitestone.  The near-divine horror of evil for the firearms he made with his own two hands and then released into the world to become a force, and a terror, and perhaps very soon a power beyond any mortal’s control ever again.  Any real reverence Percy has for gods as more than ultra-powerful allies, to be courted and implored and bargained with, comes down to the power he sees in belief and religion and the things people do in their name.

Keyleth never wanted or expected to have anything to do with gods until they decided they wanted something to do with her and hers, and it’s freaking her out so bad.  Gods are people, to Keyleth, an there’s nothing sacred about divinity.  They have powers and they do things, and that’s all--and in this world of Exandria where gods walk and want and war between each other, and distribute curses and favor at their own whims, who’s to say she’s wrong?  A god is just a person with a whole lot of power, and she doesn’t understand reverence, and it scares her.  The idea of a being with that much power over her and her loved ones scares her, when there’s so much she doesn’t have power over already.  The idea that her family-friends-team doesn’t stand with her in that fear, that they’ll kneel and pray instead of standing themselves, that scares her so, so much.  Keyleth believes in what she sees and touches and experiences, sun and seasons and living people, and gods have no place in her world, but they keep inviting themselves in anyway and she doesn’t know how to block them back out.

Vax breaks my fucking heart.  We spend a lot of time in fandom talking about sex and love and BDSM-done-like-religion, but the only metaphor I’ve got is that Vax just straight-up does religion like BDSM--not the penance and self-flagellation and humiliation and punishment, but.  The submission.  The boy is so desperate for solid ground to stand on.  Long before the Raven Queen, he’s looking up at Sarenrae and praying and hoping for a gentle hand.  For someone to tell him what he’s meant to be doing with himself, with his time, with his life.  Someone to promise that he’s done right, someone he can trust to know all the things about the wild, terrible, chaotic world that he doesn’t.  He wants a god so badly, to help him be good, to make him good, to give him a purpose and a guide and a promise for tomorrow that he actually trusts, and he wanted it to be Sarenrae but it’s the Raven Queen now, and he’s given himself to her body and soul with all the hope and terror in his heart.  He didn’t want this master, but he wanted a master.  He’s living right on the push-pull edge of trapped vs secure.  Fear and faith and peace are combining into the resigned horror-hope of something that’s been rattling loose for so long now clicking unbreakably into place, and it’s delicious to watch.

I know Vex falls into company with Pelor eventually, and I am so very on edge to see it, to see what it means to her.  Vex doesn’t blink at gods, except to nod to Sarenrae in passing on Pike’s behalf, to reread the Raven Queen book a dozen times inside of a month on her brother’s, a bit of a nod to Pelor for the sake of Whitestone.  Vex spectates everybody else’s drama and meltdowns, for all she plays selfish and vain and pushy and gossip-hungry, and tries to help, and tries not to control, and tries, and tries.  Vex watches her brother and her friends and her someday-husband slip and trip and bruise themselves stumbling through life, and walks the line between keeping an eye on everything she can and keeping out of the way.  Vex hasn’t even looked at the gods for herself, not really, not yet.  I cannot fucking wait.

There’s Grog and Scanlan, who don’t seem to have any particular relationship to gods so far, and that’s real too, the down-to-earth contrast for everybody else’s drama, and even they’re not bereft of their own little interactions with the divine.  There’s the horror of Kashaw and Vesh, there’s Zarah and Lilith and their not-a-god moon patron, there’s Kerr the paladin of no-apparent-god-in-particular.  There’s Thorbir and Lyra and Gern who don’t appear to have gods at all.  There’s a million NPC’s and there’s Kima’s faith in Bahamut and Allura’s faith in her, and there’s the whole city of Vasselheim, and Whitestone’s once-desecrated temple to Pelor, and its temple to Arathis where people prayed for hope and began a rebellion, and its temple to Vecna deep below ground.  There’s the shrine to the Raven Queen in the Whitestone graveyard and the shrine to the soul of Westrun in an underground bunker, and people will find them and see them and react to them in their own ways for as long as they stand.  There are so many different angles!

(There’s Jester and her very best friend and the favors she does him in exchange for affection.  There’s Caduceus and his Mother and his fears and doubts in himself that never extend to doubting her.  There’s Fjord with a dead god’s half-divine offcast in the back of his head, scared enough that he’d make a new deal if he could find a god to back him.  There’s Yasha, who follows devotion and worship as a matter of gratitude and honor and not-like-she-has-anything-else-left-either.  There’s Caleb and Nott and Imperial state-sponsored religion that they grew up with and don’t even notice, not really; there’s Molly covering himself in the symbols of all those state-sanctioned gods entirely for display and then praying to Moonweaver in some chaotic mix of secret and sincerity and show; there’s Beau praying to Ioun without being told to for the very first time in her life, just in case.  There’s the Krynn and the Luxan and so much more to come.)

Fantasy-fiction doesn’t always get a lot of deep exploration of religion and faith and what it means to have actual gods, whose presence can be known and measured and felt, marked down as an objective fact of history.  I love that we’re legitimately getting that in these campaigns, and I love that we’re getting it in a D&D format, where it’s so different for each different character, and so valid for each and every one.  I can’t fucking wait to see the rest of Campaign 1.  I can’t wait to see where Campaign 2 goes next.

[intergalacticships]

aftermath

rating: g pairing: michael guerin/alex manes words: 1226 tw: alex talks about his deployments and his nightmares about them

big thank you to @sammc42 for beta reading this! :)

you can also read it on ao3

— Alex lay in bed, it had been at least a half hour and he was still wide awake. He jerked into consciousness after a bad dream, not anything new for him, but tonight was different. Tonight his dream wasn’t about bombs or guns, war zones or injured innocent people. Having nightmares about his deployments was something he had been dealing with for years. It didn’t make it any easier, but he learned methods to calm himself down and eventually could fall asleep again. 

Tonight his dream was about losing Michael, a feeling he already knew all too well. He had faced this exact fear in real life only a few months ago bringing it far too close to home for comfort. He wasn’t used to dreams about losing Michael, he didn’t know how to handle something that felt so close to home. All he could seem to decide on was to just stay in bed and snuggle up to Michael’s back. He pressed his face into those beautiful brown curls, inhaling the scent of Michael’s shampoo and holding him while he tried to regain his breath.

Michael stirred, turning around to face Alex, still sound asleep. It had been four months since Michael first stayed the night at his place as his not-anymore-on-and-off-ex-something and it was still so overwhelming to Alex that this relationship was something he could have. That there was nobody interfering with his life choices and nobody holding them back.

It had taken them awhile to work everything out and actually put a name to their relationship.  Everyday they seemed to still be learning to communicate more clearly and actually listen to the each other. But it was getting easier, one day at a time. They still talked a lot about what happened to them when they were younger; about wars and awful foster homes. Getting to know each other. Everyday a bit more.

After the big “showdown” everything was a complicated mess. Kyle was injured, Noah was missing, and Isobel was completely beside herself. Liz needed time to process everything that went down, to reassess the things she thought she knew about Rosa, and Max was trying to help in every way he could.

Michael and his communication skills were forced to get better once Michael went on a self-sacrificing mission to save Alex, even after promising him that he wouldn’t do that. Getting abducted by his own father wasn’t something he was dealing with easily even after all the abuse Alex endured from him. But having the person he loved coming face to face with the literal embodiment of both of their nightmares was unbearable. His father let him free in exchange for Michael, even when Alex did everything in his power to resist, but Michael was stubborn. He had learned that the hard way.  

In moments like this when Alex was lying close to Michael he truly let himself absorb his warmth; letting himself watch his partner sleep and kissing his shoulder, even with these comforts his thought still lingered on the desperation and fear he was feeling while trying to get to the others. At the time he was sure that he wouldn’t get the chance to tell Michael that he still loved him, that using past tense in front of the trailer that day didn’t mean anything. After Michael showed him his bunker Alex was sure he would lose him to another planet, but he wasn’t prepared to face the fear of losing him involuntarily and without a goodbye.

The whole rescue mission that followed was still only a haze to Alex. He could remember holding a severely injured Michael in his arms while Max healed him. Dragging an injured Kyle out of the military facility to heal him later after Max regained some of his energy. Hearing Isobel crying and screaming that she couldn’t find Noah, that he wasn’t there like they thought he would be. Watching Liz and Maria gathering any information they could use, trying to ignore the chaos around them and Liz trying to calm Maria down, who got drawn into this whole mess a few days prior. All the details blurred together in a mess of pieces he barely remembered.

They all needed time apart after that in the hopes of processing the trauma they had lived through in the matter of a few months. A few days passed with everyone staying isolated on their own or in pairs. In the meantime Noah was found by a few soldiers in a secret military facility that his father set up after he suspected Noah to be an alien too.  

For Alex it became obvious very quickly that Michael needed to see his siblings, he had to be sure they were alive and well. A few phone calls later he realized that everybody, including himself, was feeling the same. They all met at Max’s place, bringing food and comfort, they camped out there for a while. Isolated from the whole town, just going out to get a few necessities. They sat together a lot, trying to talk about all the things that happened. And when talking was too much they sat together, understood each other in silence, giving each other comfort.

It was weird for Alex that this whole group of people became inseparable in such a short time. Those were people he grew up with, but besides Maria and Liz he wasn’t close to any of them in present time. But trauma can bring people together apparently, because Alex seemed to see these people all the time now and if he was being honest he wouldn’t want to change that.

Alex knew that he thought too much about what happened a few months ago. He knew that it wasn’t good for him to dwell on it so much, but some nights he needed to hold onto the fear knowing Michael was right beside him. On some particularly rough nights he needed to face his fear of losing the love of his life, while carding through his lovely curls and kissing his shoulder like he was doing right now.

“Stop staring at me, Manes,” Michael said suddenly with a smile apparent in his voice, sounding groggy and sleepy.

Alex chuckled at that. “Don’t flatter yourself, Guerin. I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah. I know,” Michael responded without opening his eyes but his arms instead. “Come here.”

And Alex went willingly. Settled with his back to Michael’s chest, he covered his scarred hand with his own as Michael put his arm around his waist, and pulled him closer.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Michael asked once they were comfortable.

“No, I don’t think so. Not now anyway. It was…the usual bad dreams,” Alex replied hesitantly, because they do talk about things like that, but right now it was nicer to fall asleep again in Michael’s arms.

“You know that you can wake me up after a nightmare, right?” Michael asked softly and kissed the back of his head.

“I know, Michael. Of course I know,” Alex answered quietly, he caressed Michael’s hand absentmindedly.

Alex could feel Michael nod behind him. “Try to sleep. I’ll make you breakfast in bed tomorrow and then we’ll talk,” Michael whispered and kissed his shoulder, he pulled him even closer against his chest.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[fandomoniumflurry]

Life is a Highway

Part 2

Summary: What if the Impala was made human? Enjoy the antics, angst and humor we have in store for you!

Human!Impala

Cooperative story with @keepcalmimthecupcake​ from an rp. Check out part 1 on her page

1844 words. warnings: just language and some awkwardness. **Edit made by me**

If you like our work, consider buying us a coffee. My Kofi   Her Kofi

Taglist for this series is open! My Taggers: @becs-bunker​ @hunterswearingplaid @janai-mcgarrett @ambermei

She smiled up at him when he caught her. Always there to look after her, even when he didn’t believe it was her.  She wondered if he’d detected the scent of the air freshener he’d hung on her rear view mirror after they weren’t able to do laundry for a while. It still lingered in her clothes and her hair. She laughed softly when they spoke in unison. “I don’t know who he was. He was some short, dorky looking dude chomping on a candy bar. It looked delicious.” She turned to Dean and asked curiously. “Where can we get a burger? I’m starving.”

There was definitely something off about this girl but for some reason the boys couldn't shake the feeling that there was also something familiar about her. They didn't want to believe it was actually the Impala, how would that even be possible. And who would want to do that anyway? They listened as she described the man and they both heaved a sigh. Their eyes turned to each other with deadpan expressions. Once again in unison they groaned. "Trickster."

"God damn it." Dean swore before looking the girl over with a raised brow.

"You don't think..." Sam questioned as he too began to look up and down the woman's form.

Dean's eyes squinted as he searched her face, still not buying that she was actually his precious car. They ignored her mention of food, even though Dean's stomach was agreeing with her. Looking out the door, left then right, he wrapped a hand around her wrist and yanked her inside, Sam quickly closing the door behind them. Dean's hands were on her shoulders and he gently pushed her down to sit on the edge of the bed before both Sam and Dean grabbed a chair and pulled them to sit in front of her. "What music do I listen to?"

"Really, Dean?" Sam's head turned to his brother. "Out of all the questions we could ask her, that's the one you come up with?" Dean ignored him and kept his attention of the woman leaving Sam to roll his eyes with a shake of his head.

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole, Sammy.” she stated flatly before turning to Dean. “You like Led Zeppelin the best, but you also like Metallica, AC/DC and Black Sabbath to name a few.” She jumped slightly as she remembered something. “I have your tapes in here! This thing sure has a lot of pockets.” She began reaching into each of the pockets on her jacket and brought out several of Dean’s cassette tapes.

As soon as the words passed her lips, Sam and Dean looked at each other. Their eyes were wide for a moment before they looked at her again. The wide gaze never left Dean's face as he listened to her. He blinked a few times, still not sure what was even happening. When she pulled out the tapes though, his breath froze as he reached a shaky hand out to take them.

"Zeppelin...Metallica...Sammmmmm." Dean's face turned to the younger man as if he possessed the answers. It was clear a new form of panic was setting in.

Sam seemed just as baffled, staring at the redhead as if she had three heads or a tail. "What the..." Dean wasn't comforted by his brother's lack of knowledge either.

“Who is the Trickster? And why would me being a human and having legs mess with you? Other than making you have to buy another car.” Her face fell slightly at this thought. It had been /her/ job to house her boys, to take them safely down the highways and byways of the country. And now she would be replaced with who knew what. Her eyes looked sadly up at Dean. “I’m sorry I won’t be able to do my job anymore. I appreciate the care you’ve taken with me over the years. I don’t look too bad for being fifty.”

They both couldn't help but stare at her, trying to figure out themselves why the trickster would turn his car into a...woman. Dean swallowed thickly his lips opening and closing as he tried to find the words to say. She continued and the emotion in her eyes actually made him feel guilty. She was so genuine and there was no doubt now that this truly was his old girl.

But coming to that conclusion wasn't very settling. He stood to his feet and tried to avert his eyes. He had to look anywhere but at her. He thought he had seen some weird shit in his life but this topped the cake. He wasn't sure whether to be upset that his car was gone or be intrigued by the fact that she was now a living breathing woman. His hand dry washed down his face before he licked his lips, one hand resting on his hip. "You're really her?? You're...my Baby? God, it sounds crazy coming out of my mouth."

She nodded slowly. “Uh huh. I am.” There was a momentary silence, then she gasped softly. “I know how I can prove it! Your initials! They were carved into my back left door. Which means they should be somewhere around….” Her hands fumbled with the jacket and she lifted it a bit, then pulled down the side of her pants to reveal faint but visible scars just above her hip. “It hurt a little bit, but I suppose it’s like a tattoo.” She beamed proudly now. “I have a tattoo.”

There was no denying it now. The initials carved into her skin had said it all. Dean's face was in a permanent state of shock and Sam thought his eyes were gonna bug out of his head and his lungs would collapse from lack of oxygen. "My car is a fucking woman..." Dean stated breathlessly before his hand came to run through his hair. "Ok, we can deal with this..." He began to pace the floor, his arms coming to cross over his chest. She seemed as dazed and confused as the brothers at this turn of events.

“Would you rather I was turned into a man?” she asked her voice barely a whisper, worried that he was disappointed with her appearance. Dean quickly answered with a loud resounding 'No', his head shaking vehemently.

Another short pause, then she spoke again. “I really am sorry. I don’t know what happened. I just woke up on the park bench like this and….” Her brows furrowed as more emotions moved through her.  She looked over at Dean. “I don’t know how to be human. I have bumps under here. They’re weird.” She took off her jacket and squeezed her breasts together. “You usually bump out any dents I have. You must have missed these. And there’s a thing under them. You can’t see it, though. It’s thumpy.”

As soon as she continued, both Dean and Sam's eyes grew and a rush of color reddened their cheeks. Dean had a hard time holding in the smirk whereas Sam wasn't quite sure what to feel at the moment. "Ok, ok, first off, sweetheart." He walked over to her and picked up her jacket and put it back over her shoulders. "Those are called boobs and you don't just go around flashing them at everybody. I know they may call them headlights but come on." He chuckled a little and looked over his shoulder at Sam.

When he placed her jacket over her shoulders, she looked at him curiously. “These are my headlights?” Then she thought for a moment. “I thought you liked boobs. You were talking once about how this one girl had perfect handfuls.” Thinking that this was another disappointment to him, she slid the jacket back onto her arms and zipped it up.

He couldn't help but look down at the woman's chest, his tongue sliding over his bottom lip before he shook his head again. "No, I mean, yes, I do but. Let's just put them away for now, alright?" He could feel the warmth in his cheeks. It was only a bit awkward that he was talking to the one person who had experienced a lot of Dean's sexual escapades first hand. This was no something he wanted to think about right now.

Deciding that this was not a topic that should be discussed at this time, Sam interjected before more could be said.  "Second, I believe you are talking about your heart, uh...Baby? Dude, I can't call her Baby, it's weird." His hand gestured out toward her as his face wrinkled.

Dean just rolled his eyes at his brother. "Well, hopefully, she won't be like this for very long so I'm not gonna worry about naming her." His attention turned back the incarnate Impala as he came down to crouch in front of her. He let out a soft sigh before looking up at her. "I know this is really weird. Trust me, no one is weirded out more than me. But just like always, I got you, ok?"

Her eyes turned to Sam now as he explained. When the brothers looked awkward when they said her name, she beamed. “You don’t have to name me. I already have a name. I thought of it on the way over here when I was trying to cross the street. Emelia. Emelia Pala.” She giggled at her own little joke, then gazed at Dean as he moved down in front of her. “You can call me Em.” Dean gave a smirk, nodding his head. "Em." he repeated.

When she stated her name, Sam couldn't help but break out into a bright smile. "She's definitely yours, Dean." The younger stated with a light laugh.

She examined Dean for a moment, then reached her hand out to gently touch his cheek. “It feels nice to touch you with skin.” He flinched slightly at first when her hand came in contact with his face. He wasn't used to physical contact but as soon as he felt the warmth against his face he seemed to move into it with a warm smile. This was something she’d longed to do for many years. And now she had the ability to.

Simply touching his face was not enough. Her arms flung around his neck and she hugged him tight, as she’d seen him and Sam do many times. He didn't expect her arms around his neck. It all happened so fast and he barely had enough time to keep his balance. Thankfully, he didn't topple backwards at the force. He anchored himself on his knees as he caught a quick glance with Sam who was still smiling like an idiot. Dean finally sighed and gave in patting her back a few times hoping she'd let go soon. But when she lingered, his arms wrapped around her to rest there. If he thought too hard about this, it would be weird so he decided to treat this like any other damsel in distress.

[rainbow-squirrels-7]

!!ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD!! Since I did it last year with Infinity War and now that I’ve seen Endgame twice here are my ramblings:

But before we begin apparently I accidentally predicted Endgame’s title during my IW ramblings and then completely forgot about it...

-so like that friggin beginning tho poor Clint like the entire movie. Agreeing with a favorite YouTube movie reviewer of mine, this was really Clint’s shining movie despite his uh- downward turn for a bit there -but on the bright side I’m glad his older kids’ names are canon now; like legit I thought those (Cooper and Lila) were made up by the fanfictioneers. Maybe they were and the writers were like ‘huh okay less work for us- yoink’ -then Nebula and Stark playing table football that was adorable. The shiny paper reminded me of that one Chris Hemsworth gif you know the one of him making a face at his reflection? -and heck yes Carol coming in hot to save the day what a legend -woohoo go get Thanos time -and he’s just in a frickin farm in a T-shirt (a T-SHIRT?!?) collecting some fruits and starting a new YouTube cooking channel -“what’s up half of the universe today we’re making weird bumpy fruit stew” -but heck yeah Thor cut off that guy’s head -and then just like whoa five years later. I usually can’t stand time jumps but it’s alright. It really gives a perspective of ‘yeah the world isn’t better with half its population. Everyone’s so sad’ -good job of Steve starting a therapy group tho even if he doesn’t take his own advice -I can’t believe a rat saved Scott talk about lucky -unless that rat was actually Loki -just sayin -and the bike kid: “wouldn’t you like to know weatherboy” -I forget how old Cassie was in Antman and the Wasp but +5 years to that I guess. She looks a bit too old to me but what do I know. I’m very glad she didn’t disappear though cuz I love Scott very much and I don’t want him to go through that -tbh Scott saved everyone cuz he had the time travel idea in the first place. I love an optimistic boy -UHBUHH I HAVENT TALKED ABOUT CAROL’S HAIRCUT YET UM HECK YEAH -it’s very good I’m very gay -anyway -I liked Nebula’s prominence in this movie she’s growing on me but of course it doesn’t take a lot on account of me loving robots (cyborgs?) so much -getting the band back together! -baby Morgan Stark/Potts was Very Good -ohmygod Thor -so chub -I was annoyed being without beefy Thor the first time, but rewatching it though I thought his Look was maybe not only reflecting his depression (cuz yeah) but maybe mythological Thor? Like I’m just throwing spaghetti at the wall but maybe in actual Norse myth Thor was (well, actually a redhead) that chub/beef combo but he did have the fluffier beard that MCU Thor had this time. Idk, like I said- spaghetti -Valkyrie’s back! Love her -they call her that though? Isn’t that what she is- like her job? Does she not have a name? Could have sworn it was Brunhilda or something -and Korg and the sharp bug guy are back too! Love them -friggin playing Fortnite -jokes aside though I do love that deep look into Thor’s guilt throughout the whole movie. Like he thought killing Thanos would just make everything better but it didn’t and just couldn’t deal and would rather drink to forget -Clint’s guilt was also interesting, like showing that ‘oh god he could really go there, he could get this bad given the circumstance’ -just Blade Runner-ing all around Tokyo -I haven’t seen Blade Runner but it has neon lights and rain right? -but yeah I do like the “the Snap took away good people and bad people but like it could have just took bad people and since it didn’t I’ll have to instead” -sad boy -he was very uh ‘Magnus rushes in’ if you will, during this movie. Not caring for a lot of it if he lived or died cuz he’d lost so much -god he was good in this movie -anyway -I also called the time travel:

-it still doesn’t completely make sense to me though? Like time travel is confusing enough but adding in a multiverse just makes it even more so -I loved the revisiting the old movies! -low key wanted an Age of Ultron revisit so we could have OMG we could have seen Pietro again -still on the #bringbackpietromaximoff train guys -but anyway we could have seen some good Wanda scenes and also my boy Vision again -but it did make more sense to get the three in NY at the same time -it was real cool to see the bald wizard lady (Minerva from TAZ Amnesty) defending the wizard building during 2012 Avengers- like that is so believable and now we can watch 2012 Avengers and be like “oh hey the wizards were there” -“that is America’s a**” I love how much Scott hero-worships Steve like we saw that in Civil War and yes it’s so funny and I love it its great -Steve vs Steve fight?? Great -“I can do this all day.” “Yeah yeah I know.” -And again, we can totally watch 2012 Avengers again and be like ‘yes meeting with Secretary Pierce and the other Shield guys- this is totally believable, it’s exactly what would have happened we just didn’t see it.’ -the elevator scene! I thought for sure Steve was gonna do the “now before we begin does anyone want to get out” but the “hail hydra” was just as good -“they’re hydra but we don’t know that yet” “they Look like bad guys!!” -and I guess Loki using the Tesseract to escape during that scene is setup for a... tv show? He’s gonna be wreaking havoc through time and space I guess?? Glad he’s back though -anyway revisiting more movies -friggin Guardians 1 -Quill singing Come and Get Your Love really badly cuz all we heard was the actual song and OhmyGOD that was hilarious -I’m glad Rhodey and Nebula got on a team cuz they can be prosthetic buddies -but did Nebula just not tell Clint and Nat that one of them would have to die for the Soul Stone? Or did they know and just not wanna talk about it till it came up? -TBH I though the ‘lose someone you love for the stone’ requirement would have been filled by both Clint and Nat already cuz Clint could have been like “um my dude do you even know how much I’ve lost already??” -apparently not though -Nat’s hair was great for the time travel parts I liked the red fade to white -though it was a sad and intense moment with Clint and Nat deciding who of them had to die it was also sweet cuz you can see how much they care for each other -and I was- well not glad but I really wanted Clint to see his family again -not that The Avengers weren’t his family -that friggin line “did she have family?” “Yeah. Us.” GOD -and then there’s that whole rigamarole with double Nebulas and oh Gamora’s back too -again time travel/the whole multiverse thing apparently doesn’t make sense to me so I’m just gonna gloss over it as much as I can until I can get more into it later -anyway the other time travel to the 1950s! -cool callback to Winter Soldier like you could see Zola going into the bunker -like So many people were there at the Camp Lehigh (idk if that’s how it’s spelled) like Everybody was there -good good moments with Tony and his dad -I thought it would have been cool for Tony to have given his dad the inspiration for his own name but oh well. Maybe that wouldn’t have even worked with time travel and all -Steve’s prank call to Hank Pym that was funny “um the box is glowing” -but oh geez the scene where Steve finds Peggy oh god when he goes in the room with her name on the door my roommate and I were watching it together the first time I saw it and both of us went “ohhhhhhh oh nooooooo” -cuz like that’s the first time he’s seen her since he went in the ice! Or at least seen her how he remembers and not old in Civil War hhhhhhhh GOD -I think seeing her there was a factor in his decision later but I’ll get to that later this is a long heck movie -oh and the OG human Jarvis showed up! I like him, I only saw season 1 of Peggy’s show but I remember liking him a lot -but yeah back to the present unless- well I’m sure I missed something -OH FRICK THOR’S BIT -I can’t Believe they went back to The Dark World -tbh I actually like The Dark World I think it’s a good movie but it’s not universally liked -callback to the scene with Loki tossing the cup in the air ahaha that one was always good -so if they had Rocket’s pokey device during that movie the whole plot of that movie could have been avoided? -anyway um Frigga?? What a queen. Literally -I loved “I was raised by witches I can see with more than my eyes” -she’s really what Thor needed there but god the “she dies today” poor boy -she’s so good though -I loved that ‘measure of a hero is being who you are not who you’re supposed to be’ Yes -and the “I’m still worthy!!!!” Thor needed a win -“eat a salad!” -Now back to the present -Stark-Tech can apparently channel Infinity Stones? And doesn’t need a special heart of a dying star and giant dwarfs to forge a special gauntlet um okay -“what do I have flowing through my veins right now?” “Cheese whiz?” -Bruce is so good though so strong I loved the “I was made for this” -so sweet when Laura called Clint! Yes! Everyone’s really back! -and double Nebula just Had to ruin everything tho -before I get into the final battle- I wonder how much of the time travel scenes were reused from old footage and how much was reshoots with the same actors/costumes/sets? -anyway -um rude blowing up the compound -and god the water scenes were so stressful the first time. Water/specifically-about-to-drown scenes always freak me out. Also trapped under ice and squished under something scenes -Clint finding the gauntlet and getting away from Thanos’ cronies! Every time anyone was running with the gauntlet all I could think of was that one goof from TAZ Balance in Petals to the Metal- Taako’s “Grab the Gauntlet and don’t look back” friggin

-also when Steve, Thor, and Tony all go to confront Thanos who is waiting for them, there’s a specific song playing in the background: https://youtu.be/H_9mnO_NOjk?t=120 (it starts at around 2:00) and you’ll hear this series of deep bell sounds? For the life of me- that specific sound sounds SO FAMILIAR and I can’t friggin place it. I can’t decide if it just reminds me of the Wind Dance song that plays in TAZ Balance whenever the Hunger shows up (which is fitting tbh)? Or if it sounds like some boss battle music that I can’t place? Maybe from Pokémon or Mystery Dungeon? I just can’t remember. It sounds real cool tho -but uh yeah UM -STEVE!! WORTHY!!!! -I mean we all be knowing but! -such a cool scene. I started clapping the first time I watched and others in the theatre joined in -not as cool as when Vision lifted the hammer but I’m biased -but things look dark at this point and I can’t remember if it��s at this part or one one next but there’s this real cool wide shot, this real nice tableau of Steve on a hill or something and this light behind him as he faces Thanos’ army and yeah it just looks real good. Like a good computer background I’d like to have or a poster -but yeah then! -“ON YOUR LEFT!” -Yay!!! Portals open and ‘oh yeah! Everyone’s back now! We have friends to help us fight!’ -gave me some good TAZ Balance episode 68 vibes. Could have called for a cool Lup-esque speech tho from Steve since he’s so good at that- “You see this? This is scary. But we can do this.” -EXCEPT -now we reach the part of my rambling where it turns into somewhat of a rant -because I’M annoyed but only for a specific reason that won’t affect the average moviegoer since Apparently not everyone’s a fan... -cuz Literally the only person who doesn’t show up -is my boy Vision -I mean Yes -I Know he was one of the people who died before Thanos snapped -but my hopes were Way Way Up that he’d come back somehow -and UHHH APPARENTLY I WILL JUST HAVE TO BE DISAPPOINTED -everyone Else came back??? Why not my boy?? -he wasn’t even mentioned despite being So Important in IW -except vaguely when Wanda pulled a real Taako in Balance episode 67 “You f**king took everything from me!!!” -she could have took out Thanos on her own for sure like he had to call in the big guns just to stop her from doing just that -strongest Avenger heck yeah -and Carol came too! -friggin Star Wars Episode 8-ing up in here shooting through Thanos’ spaceship that was So Cool -and the Girl Squad! Girl Squad! part!!!! Yes!!!!! So good!!! Protec small Peter! -somewhere, Nat smiled -Spider-Man’s instakill that was great -I loved the ‘pass the gauntlet’ part though -when Clint handed it off to T’Challa, T’Challa called his name and that was good cuz callback to Civil War when Clint said “we haven’t met yet. I’m Clint.” And T’Challa was like “I don’t care”. He does care now! Lol! -Carol just friggin Beast mode Thanos can’t even touch her he had to pluck the Power Stone from the gauntlet to even knock her back! We stan! A legend! -and oof Tony to Stephen Strange “14 million and one we win? Is this it?” “If I tell you it won’t be” -cuz oof -it really was a good ending for Tony though -he started it all way friggin back in 2008 -and the “I am Iron Man” Yes -and also I think it was in Age of Ultron that part when Tony was talking to Fury and it was like “I saw them all dead and that wasn’t even the worst of it” “the worst was that you didn’t” -so it’s very fitting and so so good -lining up with and going against Howard’s earlier “the greater good rarely outweighed my personal interest” and proving that Tony really was so heroic -so like it’s sad but it’s fitting and not like an unsatisfying end for his character -and it’s not like he won’t be friggin mentioned ever again or anything he’s friggin Iron Man he’s already in the new Spider-Man trailer -(no shade at all in the ‘not begin mentioned at all’ category...) -anyway oh wait -oh god Peter Parker tear my heart out again sad boy he’s so good at making us sad when he’s sad about Tony -yeah anyway again -loved the “proof that Tony Stark has a heart” disc from the first movie that was good -oh and so like the camera is moving through all the different groups of people on the dock and moving towards the house -(just an interlude but CAROL IN A SUIT UM YES) -there’s a shot of some random kid! And I didn’t know who it was until I was leaving the theatre and another guy heard me and my dad talking and he told us! It’s the kid from Iron Man 3! Now That was a nice throwback -but yeah then it gets into the I guess TAZ Balance Rebuilding Year-esque scenes -which were all Very good! Good family scenes; Hope and Scott and Cassie, and T’Challa and Shuri and their mom, and that scene with Wanda and Clint was very good BUT -would it have been So Hard to do just a small scene of maybe somewhere in Wakanda like Shuri helping to rebuild Vision with all that vibranium while Wanda was there watching? Maybe even from his old body?? Would that have been so hard?? Just Something to give me hope?? -why are all these movies So Against Wanda being happy??? -but yeah almost to the end -more time travel with Steve going to return the stones! I’m glad Sam and Bucky got more lines I love them both -but what I really loved was that Steve got his Magnus ending -not in a “how does Magnus die” way but a “how does Steve live” way -love me a good happy ending esp if it involves dancing like that’s All he wanted -like I said earlier, I think just seeing Peggy again was enough for Steve to be like ‘oh it doesn’t matter if I can’t live without war action (a la what Ultron said in AoU) i do really want that life with Peggy and I can do that now’ -it was just Good -but it does raise a few time travel questions -like if Our Steve went back to the 1940s (he did go to the 40s right?) does that mean that there’s another Steve still stuck in the ice? I would say there can only be one Steve at a time but that was proven wrong in the very same movie. There’s gonna be something to do with multiverse in the next Spider-Man which will of course just make everything all the more confusing but still... I guess if I don’t think about it too much it’s not such a big deal -it was also very fitting that there weren’t any after credits scenes. It reminded me of the end of TAZ Balance with the announcer (Junior) not announcing the final episode since he said in 68 that we’d have to see what happens in the last one together. Idk but I liked that -and I liked the signatures of all the OG avengers! That was like them signing off on this huge thing they did, which is really what happened! This huge friggin 12 year thing! -wait was that what the 12 meant all along?? The 12%, the 12 minuets? We may never know -but anyway back to the most important part to me -my boy Vision

-I was so naive  

-like I’ve been told there’s gonna be a tv show or something but like -come on -you could have given me Something -I feel like Griffin in the Fallout 4 Monster Factory after Roachie despawned “nothing?!? You leave me nothing!?!” -so like all in all it was a good movie a Really Good movie I liked it a lot -that Time Heist- I love time travel plots. I already had some of my next DND campaign planned with time travel being a big part- I hope my players don’t think I’m stealing lol -it was very enjoyable and so so good to wrap up this huge thing and put a bow on this story arc. Which I guess can open the door for experimentation now? Which would be kinda cool -Scarlet Witch movie maybe and my dreams can come true??? I can be happy??? Please -I just- one little scene could have left me less disappointed and given me just a little hope but anyone who’s not in the ScarletVision boat will not be disappointed by this movie (cuz the deaths [Tony and Nat] are heroic and satisfying to me, so I’m not not satisfied by that) -it wasn’t Their movie but still. Let me complain -It really was really good though -And I guess I only get motivated to write fanfic like once a year (or whenever new ScarletVision content is in a movie though um the Vision part of that was uh nonexistent) so like my Complements fanfic is in the process of growing a fourth part so look out for that I guess -and if you’re still here reader, I hope you enjoyed my long long ramblings

-and in conclusion:

[peachyzens]

camp counselor! seungkwan au

camp counselor! seungkwan au

genre: flufffff summary: a summer with camp counselor! seungkwan is always destined for fun and memories to last! (2,208 words) a/n: just a disclaimer that i have never been to a camp so my knowledge comes from tv shows and whatnot….anyways here is seungkwan’s installment that should’ve been out like two weeks ago for the seventeen part time job series! series masterlist can be found here!

seungkwan would definitely be a camp counselor for kids

and one summer you just happened to volunteer for the same camp he works at!

honestly i imagine seungkwan in a little camp uniform like the one russel from up wears LMAo

ok but like he loves his summer job as a camp counselor and he’s been doing it every year for as long as he could!!! whether it was an actual paid position or even a volunteer like you are

but when it’s not summer he actually works with kids at a preschool

in conclusion he loves children like a LOT

anyways you ended up volunteering at the camp because your little brother was going to camp and your parents wanted some extra supervision for him

so it wasn’t exactly your ideal summer but there wasn’t anything else you could do about it LOL not like you were going to do anything else

so you showed up to the campsite dragging not one but TWO bags since your little brother was too excited so he ran ahead, leaving you with the baggage

and by the time you reached the campsite he already made friends and you just stood away from all the people

the parents were like interrogating the camp leaders already

so you were like let me hang out here

but then seungkwan approaches you, thinking your another anxious parent

“hello there! my name is seungkwan and I am one of the counselors here, if you have any worries or concerns feel free to ask me!” he spoke in such a perky voice you actually felt your mood get lifted a bit

“uhh, hi.. i’m actually y/n…one of the volunteers here” you responded very awkwardly because he was just BURSTING with radiant vibes

“oh y/n! i’m glad you’re here!!! we normally don’t have many people who apply for the volunteer position so i’m glad you did! let me show you around and get you familiar with the camp!” he spoke, still as perky as ever

he then gestured for you to follow him, but you were still struggling with your bags

he actually started walking already but you were stuck behind trying to drag all the bags

so when he realized he was just talking to air he turned around to see you breaking a sweat trying to drag the bags and actually had to hold back a laugh

he thought it was pretty adorable, how out of place you were in this type of environment

but he vowed to himself to make this an unforgettable experience for you and the kids of course

“let me help you with that” he offered, easily taking one of the bags

you actually let out a sigh of relief

“thank you, i felt like my back was going to break” you joked, earning a chuckle from seungkwan himself

so first he took you over to the bunkers, allowing you to put your stuff and your brother’s stuff in your respective bunkers as he waited outside

because neither of you wanted to carry those bags around any longer

so when you come back out, seungkwan is there, waiting for you with a smile

and your heart kind of flutters a bit seeing how adorable he looks with his cheeky smile and cute little uniform

maybe this camping trip won’t be that bad, you thought to yourself

so seungkwan proceeds to give you a tour of the campsite

he kept up a lively conversation all throughout, you both shared jokes and many laughs

by the time the tour was over it was time for the camp festivities to start, and you were kind of sad that seungkwan had to split away from you but its ok you still had the rest of the summer

you both actually ended up getting really close, sharing many interests!

you were both the perfect compliments to each other, he was the loud one but you were the one to quiet him down

the kids loved you both, well they always loved seungkwan since he started working there but you quickly became another one of their favorites

your little brother was also very popular at the camp for being your little brother, the kids kissed up to him with the goal of getting closer to you

it was so adorable seeing all the kids attach themselves to you, despite them being quite the handful

it was quite a surprise actually, you expected to be awkward and distant with the kids but it was quite the exact opposite

you were awkward with the kids but they didn’t care, they just loved you

seungkwan would always watch with an amused and proud smile seeing the kids listen so well to you

he also found you adorable when dealing with kids, your patient and calming smile and how you would just stare at the kids with stars in your eyes

he was so glad to have you here with him, most of the time the past volunteers were older people who often stayed behind and didn’t interact with the kids as much, leaving the responsibility on him

but you!!! were an angel

he loved that you were so good for the kids and you really made his job easier, since dealing with kids is quite a tough job

“seungkwan, minho stuck crayons up his nose again”

“what??? i just pulled them out like twenty minutes ago”

“well he put them back in aNd WoW would you look at the time i gotta go set up for dinner see ya!!!!” you checked your imaginary watch on your wrist as you dashed away

seungkwan would roll his eyes at your antics, but deal to his duties as the main counselor anyways

“minho, if you put the crayons up your nose once again we are going to take them away, alright?” seungkwan would scold the little boy, with a smile that was sweet but also intimidating at the same time

but the little boy would just nod at him, finally learning his lesson

while seungkwan was quite the fun counselor, he could be serious when he had to

especially when doing more dangerous activities like swimming at the lake or whatnot

but he would be serious in a way that wasn’t too scary for the kids!! they could just feel his seriousness even though he would still be smiling

that was one thing you really did admire about seungkwan

his professionalism and ways of dealing with children was definitely over your head, you don’t know how he did it

like when you had to be serious to a little boy who kept mooning everyone you actually made him cry

but seungkwan came to the rescue and made him stop crying but also explained to him that mooning wasn’t a good behavior at the camp LOL

so whenever it came to scolding you left the job up to seungkwan

but one aspect you excelled in was the arts and crafts activities with the kids!

you were quite artsy yourself, so you enjoyed these activities the most and so did the kids

you would create all sorts of unique projects that would keep kids occupied for a while, and it was during this time seungkwan was thankful for you the most

the past years he didn’t do much arts and crafts, as he wasn’t the best at it

like one of the first activities you did with the kids where you guys were making pipe cleaner butterflies, you had to contain your laugh at seungkwan’s attempt

it was quite the asymmetrical and bumpy butterfly, compared to your perfectly symmetrical butterfly

when he noticed you stifling your laugh he sent you a glare that made you want to laugh even more as you took notice of his burning cheeks

anyways! the kids loved you two both to death

they also loved you two together ;)

there are often times when they would bring up their kid fantasies

“seungkwan, will you let us be the choir for your wedding?” one of the kids would ask him, all the other kids nodding excitedly in agreement

“what wedding???”

“the one you’re going to have with y/n!” they responded happily, cheering and whatnot

seungkwan almost choked on his juice box

“what the, what are you kids talking about?? we’re just friends???” he would say once he recovered, cueing the kid’s mischievous giggles

and the other kids would pester you with similar questions, and you would react in the same way

to be honest though, you really did like seungkwan a lot, but you weren’t sure if it was in the friendly way or romantic way..

like you both clicked very well from the start! and you both were practically the perfect pair in handling the kids

the two of you also enjoyed spending time together, kids included or not

seungkwan felt the same way, he’s never felt this connected to anybody else

also, the way you would smile and laugh with the kids would sometimes linger in his mind

he wasn’t sure himself if he’s just glad to have met someone who works so well with him, or if he was actually falling for you

anyways! time jump to the conclusion of the camp

you both were waving with teary eyes to the kids as they all left one by one, their parents picking up

the kids were crying too, but you two promised that you’ll be back next year!

so when all the kids left and it was just you, your little brother, and seungkwan, a solemn silence took over you three

“did you mean it?” seungkwan broke the silence, his voice a whisper

“mean what?”

“that you would come back next year” he looked up to you, trapping you in his gaze

with a shy smile you nodded

“i would love to, i had more fun than i expected this year. i also got too attached to the kids, and everybody else..like you” you muttered the last part, but it was loud enough for him to hear

with a bright smile he stepped closer to you, forcing you to direct your attention away from the ground and to his face instead

feeling bold, seungkwan wrapped his arms around you, surprising you

but nonetheless you wrapped your arms around him too

you let out a sigh of contentment, his arms enveloped you in a warm sense of security

he was just the PERFECT person to hug, and you couldn’t help but to think you both fit perfectly together :,)

he also savored the feeling of you in his arms, he also felt like you two were the perfect pair

so you both just savored each others touch and warmth, before your little brother interrupted your moment

“mom’s here!!!!” he yelled, tugging on your shirt

you both pulled away with a rosy cheeks, having gotten too carried away in each other’s embrace that you forgot he was there

“y-yeah! there they are, we should go!” you stuttered, nervously rubbing your neck

“well, then i guess this is it for now, we’ll see each other soon,” seungkwan said with a sad smile, almost about to cry

“stop it with that sad face!!! you’re going to make me cry, and who says we can’t hang out even when camp isn’t in session??” you lightly smacked him, you both going back to your regular banter

with a slight smirk, he brushed your hands off

“of course, you think i would just let my perfect partner get away from me that easily?”

you blushed harder than before, nothing but stutters coming out of your mouth

“w-whatever! i’m going now, bye” you huffed and stomped away, feeling the water works build up in the back of your eyes as you stepped away from seungkwan

he could only laugh at your antics, knowing you too well at this point

he waved at your departing car, heart filling up with warmth when he sees you and your little brother stick your head out of the windows to keep waving at him until you were out of sight

with a content smile and warm heart, he took one last look around the campsite

“until next year” he would whisper to himself before leaving

…

“so, when are you and seungkwan getting married?” your little brother asked in the car ride, nearly giving your mom a heart attack

“what!!! are you talking about!!! i’m not getting married anytime soon you little brat” your face flared up again, hand reaching over to cover your little brother’s mouth as your mom gave you a knowing look in the rear view mirror

“fine, how about when will you guys start dating first then?” he asked next, hand slapping yours away

“be quiet you little brat!!!!”

meanwhile, your phone beeped with a message in the midst of your little fight with your brother

i hope you’re free next saturday! i want to take you to this new restaurant i found :) -seungkwan aka your perfect partner, the message read

your cheeks burned once again as you let out a little giggle, typing your response

“oOoOoOoOo y/n’s in love!” your brother cooed

“shutup you lil brat!!!!!”

but he wasn’t wrong ;)

[bluesky88diary]

Mornings with you is a nice thing, do you know? I say you like sunshine create nice mood for a day. Last night I slept maybe for an hour or so. Then your appearance like sunrise filled my day with energy and I left airport to remote place where I cooked breakfast (well, like I used to do in camp), because sadly I cannot take some items on the board. Porridge with kiwi, orange and raisins made this morning even better. Then sun came out and overall it was nice day. Next online registration for a flight, walk to and fro, some calls, plans, dreams and of course your beauty filled up my day. By the way airport seems like nice place to learn sleep fast and sitting in the chair. Fruits for lunch and after nap I couldn't resist to buy choco chip cookie. Seems like I'm ready for a long night ahead.

Do you want to know what I thought about today? I thought what a blessing for both of us all these KARA events become. I guess we cannot completely grasp how much so. And not only for us, for everybody this beautiful energy shedding into the world through all of you, I think is very valuable and rare, thus people notice it with desire for more sunshine and warmth happen in their lives. I'm very happy for such a gift to see you like this with many wonderful sides of your personality. I will keep these memories in my heart to remind you and inspire you don't lose it further on. More love for my flower to bloom.

Last thing I was doing is watching a little YouTube about life in wilderness. Would you like to have remote house somewhere in the mountains for a weekend stay? Considering years of my adventure I don't want long trips anymore, I would like to be more family alike, but anyway very precious to escape city and spend time together among nature. Some calm cozy and beautiful remote places with my beloved. Sounds good, agree?

Also watched a video about Switzerland's bunkers, what? Over 374,000 bunkers scattered throughout all country. They obsessed with that, but also it make land more interesting for traveling. So many interesting places, but now when I think about each one I also think about you, I cannot separate you from me now. Sounds silly? Have you forgot that I've made a home for you in my heart? And I like it. Wondering over and over again how is that to live together woth you, my beloved 승연.

Today it feels like I'm climbing on the high mountain and looking down there cannot believe I got that far. Yeah, tomorrow flight to U.S. Only God knows what nee horizons will open before, but I wish you be a main part of each one. Deal? 사랑해요, my angel.

[seenashblog]

Nash Watches & Rates Cheesy Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies So You Don’t Have To

a.k.a. -  Nash Records Her Viewings Of Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies, which are fanfic in visual form & are gold. And yes, it’s a apparently a legit sub-genre. Best I can tell, if it’s not Christmas or Valentines, and there’s snow, then it goes. Spoilers abound.)

Note: This adventure has been moved to here from my main blog @seenashwrite, so my SPN peeps can rest assured they’ll not be exposed to this any longer - I have a feeling I’ll not be done purging my soul for a while yet #bless my heart

As per last time during the Christmas round-ups, 4 and 5 stars mean the best of the lot, 3 stars means it’s not necessarily a waste of your time, 2 stars is up to your discretion, and 1 star means it is time you will never get back.

Winter's Dream (Kristy Hot Damn Swanson, Dean Mothafukkin' Cain - Hallmark)

With it packing this level of stardom, how can it go wrong? Understand that I can take or leave Dean Cain, but Kristy Swanson is the shit. 

The official summary/another summary from somewhere:

When a former ski champion re-enters the competitive world after a 16-year-old downhill racer asks for help, she finds a new love and reawakens an old passion.

Former pro skier, Kat, is asked to coach a younger skier, named Anna, and finds love with the girl's widowed father, Ty.

These are both kinda garbage summaries - I mean, they're accurate, but it doesn't paint the whole picture. There's nothing really to spoil, and though it hits a couple things on a winter bingo (still forthcoming), they're more the Hallmark staples, such as the kid (in this case, a really great teen gal who's a good actress) who brings people together, and that the lodge/the resort is in danger of being lost, and somebody teaches somebody else how to skate, and that shit, but the bottom line is it's a fine watch. It's not spectacular, but it's not dipped in cheese, and there's some really pretty shots of the skiing (especially something they do at the end), plus kudos for the body doubles (the ones doing the actual skiing) were spot-on, and the teen actress did an impressive end-of-run stop at one point, you know it's her because she immediately whips off her mask.

Bottom line, this movie woulda been ass if not for Swanson and Cain, who didn't have greeeeat chemistry, though they made it work. In any event, the script was solid - like I say, not a great deal of cheese and any lines that were aren't sticking out to me because they were delivered so well - so I'm actually gonna rate this one decently high.

4/5 stars

.

Love on the Sidelines (this dude who's been in three movies I've seen so far, John Reardon, and some basic blonde chick who is vaguely familiar - Hallmark)

This isn’t technically a winter one, I don’t think, but it’s on, so it counts.

So they try to throw you from the get-go with "Is injured dude gonna be the love interest which is totally inappropriate since he's her boss and clearly got about 12 years on her and has made multiple patronizing comments to her, about how physically strong she is and about her classic car and about her abilities in general, or is it the other dude on the team who took an immediate interest in her and has thus far been polite and respectful and friendly and flirty?"

(By the way, main dude has cock-blocked his friend, but he has a model girlfriend [who is styled to be a stereotype from extensions to heels] and it's also shown he has no idea about stuff she likes/is into, such as her favorite flowers - but chick knew because she had 'em out for their romantic dinner. That's right, it's part of her assistant duties - and she's supposed to be helping him with activities of daily living stuff - is to prep his bone zones.)

If they make dude #2 turn out to be a douche and that main dude is somehow awesome underneath all his shit----- what am I saying, of course they are. The latter, that is. You know I'm right. Hundred percent.

People are like losing their chickens over this jersey she's tailored to be a "girl fit" - you know what I mean, it's not a box with sleeves, there's tailoring to it, so the sleeves aren't so ginormous and it's tapered on the sides. This jersey's been the topic of about three interactions thus far and we're only 40 minutes (so 30 mins airtime) in. They're all "Wow!" and "This is so creative!" and "My wife would love that, where'd you get it!"  Y'all, google for this, that type of jersey, I mean. [pause] Nevermind, here:

I put in the mystical combo of "women's NFL football jersey".

THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY

Hey, and heh-heh.... quick bonus....

WHYENNE!!!! THAT BITCH IS EVERYWHERE

But hey, how else would we know that fashion design is her passion? Scriptin' be hard, yo. Speaking of her clothes skillz - "I think there's more to him," she says to BFF, whose wedding dress she's fitting. First, *eyeroll*. Second, if your friend is trying to watch a football game and learn the basics, don't let them fit you for your farging wedding at the same time. Which is what is happening.

There's twinkly magical music when his hand runs over hers when they're both searching under the couch, feeling around for his dropped cell phone.

*more eyeroll*

I do like the car, it's a red Mustang.... early 70s, maybe?.... but I can say I don't care for the shade of red, it's a little too cherry popsicle or hooker scarlet lipstick.

(My dream car is probs a Mustang muscle in black, but as far as zoom-zooms go, I tell ya, a friend of mine had a Porsche Boxster, and What. A. Ride., and he'd offered to teach me how to drive stick on it - not a euphemism, I swear, I was 16, my dad was his mentor, he's like the child my father never had - I'M A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT OKAY - so like my big brother, and anyhow, it was so beautiful I gasped at the very thought. But sweet babby jeebus, those suckers are smooth rides. None of this matters.)

Anyway, she keeps having trouble starting it, and I can tell by the sound it isn't the alternator, nor is it the battery, nor is it a belt, nor is she flooding the engine. I know fuck-all about cars as a general rule, but I know those sounds because I've experienced all of them. It has now gone to commercial, as he's just looked under the hood and announced after 3.8 seconds "Yup, I think I see your problem."  He must have x-ray vision. I am on pins-and-needles, shivering with anticipation.

Back from commercial, he's shutting the hood and she's saying "Wow you did it!" and wiping grease from his face. He's got an absolutely wrecked calf/ankle/foot (and straight up, they've done a good job making it all seem legit, props to... well, props... and make-up), but you're telling me he was standing and bent over long enough to get all greasy, and he's supposed to be - most of the time - either sitting or standing with that bitch elevated. This was stupid. This was a stupid, wholly unnecessary scene. Oh except we find out - because it's visible in the back seat - that she's read his children's book.

That's right. He's written a children's book.

Dude's mom: "I think he's dating the wrong type of women". Subtle, screenwriters, subtle. Now he's sneaking and working out. I really hope they show his ankle buckling out at a wicked angle. I'm gross like that. Twinkly music plays as she waits for him in the locker room while he's in with the sports trainer because he shouldn't have been working out.

Forgot to mention there's an awesome dog, this really beautiful Dane, and of course it loves her and hates Stereotype, because reasons for him to go ga-ga. She's honestly not bad, I have zero issue with the actress, nor with this actor, they're actually both good, but between the music and this script, I'm fighting over what rating to give it. (Checks clock) Welp, the next 45 minutes should tell me. It's dragging ass, I'll tell you that, though.

Like, nothing's happened. Nothing. He has an injury, she's his new personal assistant. I can list traits they each have. I've seen groups of moments. I don't know what the story is. Is it just "they get closer and fall in lurve"? That's... not a story. That's a series of facts. People meet their partners/spouses via the workplace all the time. What's the plot? What's the conflict? The obstacles? The tension? The OOMPH, I'd call it, is missing. This is what kills me about most fanfic - they just tell me stuff, they aren't showing me a new perspective or a twist or a unique take or differing interpretation that's still supported by canon, or an inventive plot that or what-the-hell-ever. Dean and Whyenne were in the bunker and they researched and they cooked and they talked about Cas and Sam, and they argued about her going on a hunt, then they kissed, the end! That's not a story, that's a daydream. I've digressed.

Now he's texted her "the emergency code" while she's at her best friend's wedding, and turns out it's because he's cranky because his sister said he's got to learn how to not be the center of attention. And she - I am proud to say - lets. Him. Have. It.  Part of what she says is - Can you do *anything* for yourself?!  And he goes - This!  And he kisses her, and it takes her off guard, but then they go for it, and I am actually happy for them.

Shit. I still hate that this isn't a story, but holy hell the difference when some conflict is introduced. Ahhhhhmazeballs. Conflict, however minor, is what shows us who these people we're watching/reading really are - and no, conflict does not mean angst, nor does it mean some sort of heart-breaking, can't-take-it-back fight, nor does it mean life-and-death, just divergent paths or opinions is all it takes. I've digressed again.

My interest is piqued because we have a half-hour to go, and typically this is how Hallmark blows their wad in the last fifteen.

[time passes]

Okay, a couple things turned out decent. Y'all will *love* what the best friend pulls at the end, and she and her hubby have been great throughout, but this one particular thing was clutch. And everybody had chemistry, family and friends and romance alike. It just can't help the lack of story, and I really detest the manner in which they made lead dude a jerk - there's other ways to do that besides going the lazy route, a.k.a. being sexist. It's not as bad as a two (a.k.a. - this is a matter of taste), because there's some objectively good stuff.... on the other hand, my lord is dragged. So I'm going with a three, because it's a toss-up as to whether you're gonna really like it, or think "Meh".

3/5 Stars

.

One Winter Weekend / One Winter Proposal (Taylor Cole, some other people - Hallmark)

So the former was in last year's winter line-up, the latter in this one. Taylor Cole played Sarah Blake on SPN. I see she's also on deck for some detective thing on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries.

And.... that's all I got to say about that.

I genuinely tried to watch these. They played them back-to-back, and speaking of backs, mine was acting up so I was laid out, and I thought - all right, this'll kill some time. And I fell asleep at 6 p.m., y'all. I took ibuprofen, I was not getting liquored up, I slept plenty the night before, and I fell the fuck to sleep. These movies are boring as fuck. 

I saw no sparks, and there were two couples from which to divine said spark. The co-lead chick was incredibly annoying, she plays everything too perky, and it's really evident in scenes with her romantic interest, who is a good actor and came off completely naturally. Actually, he should've been the main-main male lead, I bet he'd have had great chemistry with Cole, who's a better actor than the dude they had her paired with, but I say all that to say, the script was... meh. The pacing of both movies was weird, and the conflicts that were in them (see above for discussion on what conflict in stories actually is) were nothingburgers. It was stupid. Don't waste your time, seriously.

1/5 stars

.

We interject for a non-review that needs to be mentioned. Oh, Lifetime. Holy shitsnacks.

Double Mommy (I... I don't know... people... - Lifetime)

This is the synopsis:

Ryan discovers his friend Bryce is the father of one of his girlfriend's twin babies and that he date raped her at a party over the summer. With college looming over Bryce's head, he will stop at nothing to make sure that he clears his name.

Because the guys' feelz are what's important, here.

.

The Birthday Wish (Jessy Schram, who only acts one way and that is coked-up squirrel with blonde barrel curls - Hallmark)

This is the official summary, and it should let you know how pleased I was to watch this:

On her birthday, a woman who desperately wants her boyfriend to propose to her wishes for the opportunity to see into the future, with surprising results.

'Cause I love seeing "desperate" and "woman" in the same sentence about my main character! This was precisely what you think based on the summary - though I will say Schram doesn't play it "desperate" so that was kind've a weird word for them to use - she somehow has these premonitions (it's never explained) and the boyfriend's a dick and she ends up with her co-worker who's a great guy. The end.

1/5 stars

.

Once Upon A Prince (Megan Park, who is familiar though I don't know how, and a quite charming British fellow who isn't really, he's actually from Canada by way of New York but sounds really damn convincing - Hallmark)

Also unsure this is “winter”, but it’s worth talking about. Seriously. Still, let's get the shite - and it's minor! - out of the way.

First complaint: they blew their wad in the title. Not that we don't get the scoop fairly quickly, but... welp, no we don't, the beans aren't spilled for a while - they *easily* could've skirted it, and they HAVE, it's very nicely and smoothly done, I mean, you can divine it but it's not plot anvil'd, his situation unfolds gradually across the first act, which is so refreshing. Whoever titled it was the screw-up. I'm looking at you, Hallmark execs. All their titles spoil.

Second complaint... despite the adept nature they handled main dude's backstory, there's a really bad clunker of an anvil in that first bit - we know exactly how he's gonna propose to her in the end because they shoe-horned in really abrupt and almost non-sequitur dialogue for her wherein she tells him her dream proposal not terribly long after meeting him. It was weird and awkward. I mean, the fuck. I get she was still rattled as her longtime boyfriend with whom she had both business and personal futures planned out breaking up with her in the prior scene(s), but shit. They do recover a bit by having our dude - and damn, I love him, I genuinely do - comment something to the effect of "Well oftentimes it's easier to tell a stranger things we can't tell the ones to whom we're close". My point is, they knew it was a dog of a line, but I thought of three options to get the topic out there over the course of them getting to know each other just while I’ve sat here typing this recap - hell, they revisit the damn location later, when they are friends vs. strangers! It was bad writing.

Third complaint... y'all know by now: I hate the fake made-up countries. And this one is (wait for it) Cambria. Google Cambria. Go ahead. I'll wait. [pause] Nevermind, I'll just tell you, and this isn't because I have some bizarre encyclopedic knowledge of the way-back-when in Jolly Ol', it's because - well - I'm a reformed dinosaur nerd, and that overlaps with having an understanding of geology, because fossils. There, I said it. There were charts and sketches and stuff of the various periods of dino development from National Geographics on bedroom walls. I had it bad. For the record, I loved the book Jurassic Park, and the first movie was great, and the rest are good for laughs. The last two are good for mocking. I probably would've been a paleontologist, except for when my Christian father, who at the time  I thought was the smartest man in the world (and he is objectively intelligent in many ways) told me God put the dinosaurs in the earth, that there's no way the earth is as old as science proves. (I say proves, he said claims.) 'Cause, y'know, an almighty being is totes into pranks. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Funsies. I've digressed.

The quick-and-dirty is that the Cambrian is the geologic period that's from around 550 million years ago. (Okay this part I'll look up, because I'm so nerdy.... yup, I see it's 542-488 mil.) Anyhow, the dude that coined the name found the goods, the exemplars that proved this stage in earth history/backed up earth's age in Wales. And the area now known as Wales used to be called Cambria a way long time ago. Not millions time ago, of course. Trilobites and whatever can't speak... THAT WE KNOW OF. So I don't know if somebody was just like "Oh, that sounds like it could be a country" or somebody was being cute, thinking Cambria wasn't real, like it was something akin to Camelot, I've no idea. Who cares, it's stupid.

However.

Guys.... y'all.... my peeps.... um.... this'n is a keeper, so I'm not going to break it down and spoil it. It is very much worth watching, if you're into these types of movies, because it differs in a huge, very positive manner. Here's why this movie is above average for Hellmark: there's legitimate conflict (see above, re: what that means), and - most importantly - they are friends. They are buddies. They genuinely like each other. This isn't just about romantic love, this is about two people who care about what happens to each other. They care that the other person is living a life in  which they are happy.

There's also some realism here, not because it's an identical situation (it is not, trust) but in the broad strokes, I think of the Prince Harry-Meghan Markle situation. Middleton is uppercrust Brit stock, if memory serves (I'm not looking it up) with some sort of pseudo-distant-whatever royal line connection. She was gold for William, she's a good option for a queen (I mean, I'm sure there's duchesses out there, but that ain't who Wills loved). Now, Markle? So far from what would be called uppercrust. So, so very far. And yeah, yeah, I get that it's not as big a deal since he's not direct but more adjacent in line to the throne, but c'mon. It was a big deal. And you know all the ways why, I won't go through them here. My dude broke about a bazillion years' worth of tradition, and good on him.

And at the end of the day, that's what this movie is about - making your own way, creating your own traditions, adapting the old traditions, having confidence to do the things you're good at, the things you believe you're meant to do, and doing them the way you think is best. Is this a deep movie? No, it's fucking Hallmark, haven't you been paying attention? You think they let us escape without a super-rushed, wrap-it-up-in-the-last-five-minutes ending? You know better. I'll tell you this, though - it may not be deep, but it ain't shallow. And it's the best royal movie we've had so far, despite the too much haste with information-giving in the beginning and with the title and, as you'll find out, a really bleh last line... and of course with him being king of Fossilville. (I'm not letting that go.)

You're going to love him, he's a doll and classy and darling the entire time. You're going to love her, she's self-assured and fun and mature and hard-working. And you're really going to love John the valet. We find ourselves at ratings time and, somewhat shockingly:

5/5 stars

.

Past entries below

Winter Castle (people you’ve never heard of - Hallmark)

Holy shit, cliché on parade and nobody can act?! Jack-friggin’-pot. Zero chemistry amongst anyone, from family to friendship to romance?! Hot damn.

So they’re all at this place for a destination wedding (a.k.a, Selfish And Life-Disrupting And Huge Expense For Guests Thing And Oh Here’s Our Registry Too, come at me brah), and everyone is staying in a hotel. HA! KIDDING! They’re all in this giant faux igloo, and by “faux” I mean there are these church-esque doors in what is, I guess, a specially-flown-in iceberg on land. Google tells me it’s an actual place.

Anyway, through the doors you’ll find hallways (that have people carved into them, not creepy at all) which are lined with rooms. Suites? I never saw a bathroom door, doesn’t damn matter, nobody poos in Hallmark’s world. Oh, also, for lighting, we have Target pillar candles, then everything’s backlit in ‘80s neon:

Are they shitting me?

But that’s beside the point. Point is, it may be pretty to look at but in execution, it’s stupid. No way people haven’t had to peace out and find a new joint to stay in because of near or actual hypothermia. Based on the warm, cozy, wood-floored, windowed, staircase-and-balcony-having rehearsal dinner area in a large building with stone wall exterior, this hotel actually has some, y'know, hotel to it. Lodge? Who cares, but I bring it up because of the standard precocious child who is there to bring everybody together whilst turning into a popsicle.

The poor kid is bundled within an inch of her life, dumb bunny-eared toboggan to puffy jacket, and is burrito’d in a sleeping bag, with a quilt on this bed that looks to be carved out of ice, as well, and I say “as well” because our leading lady is shown frequently perched on what looks to be a chair carved out of ice (fur puffy thing for ass protection) with her laptop on a table carved out of ice when she’s face-timing her Not Gay Male Best Friend in a bow-tie and sweater vest back home, and - bonus! - he doubles as The One Person Of Color. Now, if memory serves, legit igloos made by actual First Nation(s) folks (meaning both Canadian and American - specifically, Alaskan - and probs any groups that found themselves in the way-way-North in the way-back-when and had to come up with this genius or, you know, die) are actually pretty damn warm once the fire gets cranking. Not to say you don’t keep some fierce socks and gloves on, that’s plain smart, but enclosed space with heat is enclosed space with heat - just don’t lick the walls. That’s good advice, igloo or otherwise.

On that topic, via the article linked above, says one of the actresses:

“It’s like an igloo,” Mullen told the Standard. “The further you go into the hotel, it gets colder and colder. As you walk down the hallway into the different rooms, it’s just getting into your bones.” She said every time they called “Cut!,” everyone would put on jackets to warm up.

She’s incorrect - that’s not like an igloo. It’s too big, that’s why it doesn’t stay warm. I have *zero* desire to go to this place. That sounds like Dante’s Frosty The Snowman circle of hell. I digress.

I say all that to say, this movie is straight dumb because the script is basic bitch, they were leaning on the location and hard. It gets a star because they tried in the sense that they did use a unique setting, but the rest was neglected (the story and the casting). Everything else was so blaaaaaand, and the acting was so stilted and unnatural, and they cast the mother with someone who looks the exact same age as the lead gal/her sister (the bride), and then there’s this one chick character who was so pathetically desperate, and the leading man was such a pussy who wouldn’t make a fucking decision, and they had our leading lady be all *sniffle* and tolerating that shit AND SHE JUST MET HIM BY THE WAY, and I just…. ugh.

1/5 stars

.

Royal Matchmaker (Bethany Joy Lenz - Hallmark)

This isn’t an “official” Winter '19 jam, google tells me it’s from the '18 spring movies, but everybody’s bundled up, so I’m calling bullshit. It ain’t half-bad, despite the fact that it’s a “royal” one, who’d-a-thunk? There was one over Christmas that got a 4 (see link up top), and I never would’ve predicted it. But that was an oldie-goldie, this is now. This one has the traditional royal romance beats and, no shit, the sidekick is the same one from another “royal”, the absolutely horrid “Christmas At The Palace”, from Christmas ‘18. I cannot reiterate how bad that movie was - not ”My Christmas Love“ bad, but bad.

All right, so - she’s a matchmaker from NYC, which is at least a new take on what’s coming next - and you guessed it, a prince HAS to get married or some reason, even though it’s mentioned they are under a Parliamentary system and not a monarchy, but he still has to because it’s the 17th century, oh wait no it’s not. The king, who is from a random made-up locale (*sigh*) has hired her (and said partner) to find a suitable wife for his son, who’s presented as the typical eligible rich bachelor, and “presented as” is the key phrase. It’s one of the things I like about this plot, but it doesn’t outweigh the bleeeccchhh.

For one, it wears me out, the making-up of countries. It’s distracting. If you’re gonna do royalty, the right move is to have the royal not be a king/prince but make it a duke/duchess jam, refer to the locale vaguely as a duchy in England or Ireland or Scotland or Sweden or Norway or whatever Americans will fall for, 'cause as a rule, Americans aren’t typically hip to other countries’ jams. Hell, say someone is a prince/princess, but it’s more in inherited title only - that’s what the 4 from the Christmas list did right. Nobody called him “Prince Whatever”, he wasn’t presented as this hot commodity, it was a nothing burger, we didn’t even find out that he had the title til near the end of the movie. I’ve digressed, back to this flick.

I detest the royal garb they’ve got lead dude in at the conclusion, it looks like you or I waltzed into Party City and slapped down $30 and walked back to the set. It’s ill-tailored and in too-bright colors and is, again, something utterly distracting that could’ve been avoided, and same with the king’s, too-small jacket to too-long length of slacks. All the women, including our main gal, are in prom dresses straight off the rack from Sears and J.C. Penney’s. This is not praise. The men are all in identical rented tuxedos with clip bow-ties. Thanks, I hate it.

I mean, and I hate that there’s a ball at the end at all, but it goes hand-in-hand with the core premise, which is that they’re on a tight schedule - ol’ Bethany has 4 weeks. They, of course, fall in love with one another, and props to casting because these two look good together and have decent chemistry, but that could be because Lenz knocks these movies out of the park - this is the third… maybe the fourth… that I’ve seen with her - she elevates everything she’s in. When I mentioned her to a friend, I was told she also elevated some shitty TV show that I never watched, so perhaps you are already familiar with her.

Anyhow, once again there’s too much filler and the ending draaaaaaags and then BOOM it’s done in the last three minutes, which is standard for these movies (both Lifetime and Hallmark), I’d say, about 95% of the time. The story was good in that the prince wasn’t a typical playboy and he kept his philanthropic side a secret because he didn’t want press invading these small villages and whatever he was helping rebuild - he genuinely likes getting his hands dirty and he actually knows how to do shit, he fixes a radiator at a community center at one point. Eh. I dunno. It had such potential in the front half, then just shit the bed in the back half, so it was half of a waste of my time. But you may dig it. It’s far from the worst of Hallmark’s offerings but, again, I think it’s because of Lenz, she’s the only thing getting it up from a 1/5.

2/5 stars

.

Oh… oh mah… what the… we interrupt the winter fare for what looks like a rando that’s snuck in and christ on a cracker, no. No. No. NO. The summary:

A woman begins an online relationship with a famous photographer, not realizing that she is actually communicating with the man’s young son.

This caught my ear because as I was sitting here writing up the last movie, it came on, and I hear this woman’s voice, her typing (so it’s her voice in her mind), then a man’s voice (as she’s reading), and I looked up when the man’s voice started switching to a kid’s (boy’s) voice back and forth every sentence or so - and then I looked at that summary, and….

NO

"Chance at Romance”, it’s called –> 0/5 stars, I don’t even need to watch it, what a stupid garbage fucking premise, and it’s gross, and I hope that shit kid gets punished, like as in, no computer til he’s old enough to own his own home and pay for his own internet, because scumbag kid. If he has the balls to pull this catfishing shitstorm on a fucking adult and gets away with it, what the fuck will he do to manipulate girls his own age? Gross. IT’S A GROSS PREMISE YOU GREETING CARD FUCKTARDS

.

Love On Ice (Andrew Walker, who’s in every fourth movie, and  the lead chick’s familiar her name is Julie Berman - Hallmark)

Former pro skater, now teaching - don’t worry, it’s not the aforementioned “Christmas At The Palace”, despite the similar M.O. - and decides to go for one last run at regionals because the new coach in town who’s teaching the next big thing is like “You used to be the next big thing, why don’t you undo eight years of not training aggressively in, like, a couple weeks and compete against the girl I’ve been hired to make a winner, and I’ll coach you both, because I have a boner for you and your shitty blonde extensions! No, that’s not what he says, but that’s the deal, yo. The next-big-thing’s got an overbearing mother and, once his boner gets found out, here comes a new coach that used to be the former-next-big-thing’s coach, and she’s a horrible actress, she can’t play sneaky-evil to save her life. I liked the two leads, and they did a better job than the other ice skating scenes/movies with concealing the real skater actors, but overall this was as boring as watching paint dry, I just wanted it to be over.

1/5 stars

.

The Perfect Catch (Nikki DeLoach and… shock of all shocks, no not really… our old buddy, Andrew Walker - Hallmark)

I swear, I don’t know if Andrew Walker is on some mission from god, or being punished by him. I’m in the same boat, so I empathize. At least I’m not contracted. I can’t speak for him, but I remain happy for DHJ, that he’s escaped this purgatory, and is safe on the shore… at least, at present.

In any event, this one doesn’t seem like a "Winter official”, but there were jackets and no definite spring or fall standards (pastels or orange leaves), and it’s airing now, so here we are. It seems to be baseball season, so I know they mean for it to be spring, but they are wearing coat-coats, not it’s-still-kinda-chilly light jackets. I don’t fucking care, I watched it, so I’m reporting on it.

It ticks many boxes on the Winter Fanfic Bingo card (forthcoming), specifically the ones that are carryovers from Christmas and will be carried over to all the Hallmark/Lifetime movies regardless of time of year. Because being formulaic, when playing the long game, is cheap and efficient, and in the restaurant business, or products made on a factory line, or in healthcare standards, things of that ilk, you want streamlined coupled with the trieds-and-trues. In writing? Not-so-much. It’s lazy.

And speaking of restaurants, that’s the first box that got ticked - our leading lady owns a restaurant and, next box, it’s in danger of being lost. Other boxes include: our leading man is famous; he’s the character that comes back home, leaves/might leave, then changes mine/comes back, and it’s to stay!; adorable child who ideally will bring everyone together; a character’s parents are dead. Blah-blah. Blah-blah-blah. Blah-blaaaaah-blah-bleh. <—- that had more variety than this flick. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with this movie. It’s vanilla. It’s white bread. It’s mashed potatoes with no salt or a touch of sour cream mixed in, no loading with shredded sharp cheese and crumbled brown sugar-and-cracked-pepper bacon and the barest touch of chives. I’m hungry, shut up.

It doesn’t just get 1 star because it’s not bottom barrel - everyone’s competent in their acting, there’s nothing outlandishly stupid about the script, it’s not shellacked in Velveeta. I will say that they pull a little teensy, micro-twist with how they resolve his balancing a primo offer that in no way should he pass on career-wise fairly realistically. The very last scene is, of course, stupid and embarrassing.

2/5 stars

.

The next movie has palm trees, so officially not Winter. But oof…. it’s got Kelly Rutherford and Cameron Mathison, both of whom are ringers. Hmmm. Yeah, I still ain’t subjecting myself to more than needed for this adventure. Oh, and they continue to play the basic-basic-BAAAAASIC-boring “Hope At Christmas” on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries", if you’re interested. It is a mystery to me as to why they continue to do so. Anyhow, there’s apparently 3 or 4 more brand spanking new offerings from Hallmark for the next several weeks.

More to come. I’ll reblog this with every new entry added to the top, so you can always just keep this post URL bookmarked if you think you missed it. Send an ask if you want to be tagged.

[fk12b]

First love

Balthazar x Reader

Plot: Just having a girl’s talk with Charlie, just gossiping

Main Characters: Team Free Will, Gabriel, Balthazar, Charlie, Special guest star

Prompts: 3 - “Hm… fascinating” & 310 - “We can leave, you know?”

Warnings: A bit of Harry Potter, A bit of fluff, a bit of gossip, annoying Balthazar, the usual.

Word Count: 2418 Words

A/N: Based on this song -> Outlaws - Green Day

You were having a lazy afternoon with your friend Charlie at the Bunker’s living room, watching a full marathon of Harry Potter movies alternating them with the books. You just finished watching The Prisoner of Azkaban and were halfway throw the third book as well.

“Y’know” You suddenly said glancing up from your book “The Prisoner of Azkaban, is one of the bests, it has always been one of my favorites. The movie’s quite accurate too” You simply said.

“What do you mean one of the bests? You meant the best, right?” Charlie looked up from his book and turned in her spot on the couch to face you.

“Oi, come on! Not again!” You rolled your eyes “You know I always have a hard time choosing my favorite because I like the fourth book too” You turned to face her.

“Who’s your favorite character?” She asked you expectantly placing her book on the couch.

“Hum, that’s an easy one,” You said smiling “The Weasley twins” you stated proudly.

“They are two. I said favorite, no favorites” Charlie spoke after clicking his her tongue twice.

“I beg to differ, but,” you said raising your index finger “The twins go together as a pack, There’s no Fred without George as there is no George without Fred” You looked at your friend knowingly.

“Yeah okay, you got a point there. The only times they separated, George was left without his left ear and Fred died” Charlie agreed.

“You had to say it, didn’t you?” You warned at the mention of Fred’s death “We still are in the third book and you had to say that Fred died.” You angrily said tears welling up in your eyes.

“Come on, I’m sorry, His dead broke my heart too” Charlie softened his tone as she felt tears welling up in her eyes too.

“He deserved better” you whispered, “It broke a perfect family” you softly said “I don’t care how many times Rowling apologizes, but I hate that woman so much for killing Fred, and torturing the poor Neville like she did” You continued heartbrokenly.

“Stop you’re gonna make me cry” You friend agreed. And suddenly you both were crying and hugging tightly.

Dean entered the living room to see what you two were up too, and he stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted the two of you hugging and crying inconsolably.

“What happened?” Dean said worry evident in his tone, but instantly relaxed when he saw the credits of Harry Potter and the pile of books stacked on the coffee table.

“Come on!” He said rolling his eyes “It’s just a character!” Dean spoke annoyed.

“Shut up!” Charlie and you said in one as you threw at him your books, hitting him in the chest making him leave you alone. You instantly regretted it.

You stood up to pick up the books and returned to your spot on the couch. You dusted your book off and kissed it apologizing for doing such a thing. You loved books and you really treat them with so much deserved care.

You were finishing the fifth book, which you’ve watched all the previous movies and read the books when the boys decided it was time to play some poker. They settled everything on the table behind the couch. Neither Charlie nor you seemed to notice them.

“You don’t know how much I hate that awful Dolores Umbridge” Charlie spoke closing the book and placing it on the coffee table.

“It’s like I can hear McGonagall say ‘Were you ever nice?’” You playfully said “And Dolores answering ‘1985 worst year of my life’” Charlie and you laughed.

“Not all villains wear black and own hellhounds” Your friend joked and you laughed hard at his implication.

“Yeah, they are covered in pink and have a fetish with fluffy kittens” Charlie joined your laugh, making the boys look at each other not knowing what was happening and was so funny.

“You know, Y/N, you never told me who your first crush was” Charlie smirked.

“That’s an easy one” you chuckled “Sean Biggerstaff” you grinned proudly, earning an eye roll from Dean.

“Oh, really?” Charlie chuckled glaring at you.

“I mean he’s cute” you shrugged “And of course, he’s the cute captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team” Charlie laughed.

“Yeah, cute captain, huh?” Charlie raised an eyebrow.

“Oh come on, I was only nine years old when I first watched Harry Potter, and the only thing I can remember from that time was that I had a massive crush on Oliver Wood, like most of the girls in this world,” You said matter of factly.

“I have to admit he’s attractive, though” Charlie nodded in agreement.

“Come on who was your first crush? Hermione? I mean it’s your favorite character. She hooked up with the wrong guy though”

“Ten points for Gryffindor!” She cheered agreeing with the fact of Hermione “And answering your question, no it wasn’t Hermione. Her name was Genna Broderick, sixth grade.” She answered.

“Oh, come on!” you threw your arms in the air “Now, I’m the weirdo! You were supposed to have a crush on another fictional character! Maybe from Hogwarts too.” You said crossing your arms over your chest.

“Okay, I had a crush on Hermione. You happy now?” She said in mock surrender.

“I thought you were gonna say, Ginevra Weasley” You frowned fighting to giggle “You know, she’s a redhead, too” you teased her earning a punch on your shoulder, using the impulse, you moved to pick the water bottle settled on the floor next to you.

The guys by now were flipping out. You’ve almost spent the whole afternoon watching and talking about Harry Potter, boys, and other girls stuff. Dean to say the least was clearly annoyed.

“Hm… fascinating” Balthazar said mixing the cards and dealing some cards.

“We can leave, you know?” Dean said more than annoyed.

“Okay, Slytherin crush?” Charlie asked oblivious to the fact that the boys joined you in the living room.

“Hm... you mean being Gryffindor and having a Slytherin crush or the forbidden love?” You wondered not knowing that you picked certain angel’s interest.

“I meant Gryffindor-Slytherin crush, but I’m all ears to what you have to say about the forbidden love” Charlie sat cross-legged facing you and placing her elbows on her knees giving you all her attention.

“The typical. You fall for the stupid annoying sarcastic sassy angel that clearly makes your life a living hell because you are a human and he’s a powerful angel” you said chugging at your water. Suddenly the boys were finding your conversation interesting, especially Balthazar.

“Wait a minute,” Charlie said frowning in confusion “You love him or you hate him?” She wondered

“Both” you sighed “I mean, I’ve admitted the fact he doesn't want to know nothing about me, because human here, and clearly he hates me, why annoy the hell out of me then? So, I have no other option than to hate him if I want to forget him. Well, in the end, he’s eternal, he would forget me anyways” You explained laying on the couch.

“And I thought Dramione was a love story” Charlie added “Y/N and the angel of the lord” She nodded.

“Soon in your nearest bookstore with 50% more angst” You added chuckling

“Who’s the lucky angel?” Charlie wondered.

“Come on! I thought you knew by now” You simply answered.

“Castiel?”

“No”

“Gabriel”

“No”

“Lucifer”

“No”

“Michael”

“No”

“Raphael”

“I said angel, no archangel”

“Samandriel?”

“No”

“Gadreel”

“Are you fucking serious that you’re gonna name all the angels in the garrison?”

“No way!” She gasped realizing who it was.

“What?!” You frowned sitting up suddenly scared that he might be behind you and have heard everything.

“It’s Balthazar!” She cheered with a smirk on her face.

“No,” you said after a second earning a glare from her “Yeah okay it’s him. Don’t say a word for your sake or else I’ll smite you. I don’t want anyone to make fun of me. I have enough with having to deal with Balthazar”

“So, you love Balthazar then?” Charlie asked you again.

“Of course not!” You lied “He loves no other than his ego” you rolled your eyes at her. Well, now everybody in the room was confused. Except the aforenamed who was more than pissed off.

“Now, I’m confused” Charlie frowned.

“Yeah, I have that effect sometimes” you sassed “People find me weird and confusing. I’ve run out of popcorn, want some more?” You asked standing from your spot and stretching your limbs, in way of changing the subject.

Glancing sideways you caught sight of the boys playing poker and caught certain angel looking intently at you. You froze for a second your heart skyping a beat and forgetting about anything else. There’s no escape from his tease now.

“And bring a coke too” Charlie’s voice snapped you back from your train of thoughts.

“Anything else, her majesty?” You joked, trying to make her repeat what you’ve missed if odds were in your favor.

“That’s it for now. Popcorn and coke, you can leave now” Chalie joked back. You bowed at her lifting an imaginary long dress and left the living room chuckling pretending you saw nobody sitting on the table playing poker and the blonde angel following your moves with a glare you couldn’t decipher.

You placed the bag of popcorn in the microwave and set the timer up to 3:00 minutes and served yourself a glass of Balthazar’s whiskey before leaning on the kitchen’s cold metal counter. Thank your ability to say things you should keep to yourself, but Charlie was your best friend, she should know what’s going on inside your heart. You were that focused on your thoughts that you didn’t notice the blonde angel joining you there. You were raising the untouched glass of whiskey to your lips when you heard him clear his throat.

“You’re blocking my way to the whiskey,” he said annoyance evident in his tone when he was millimeters away from your body.

Scoffing and ignoring him you placed your glass in his hand and moved to the microwave which was ringing loudly. You retrieved the bag of popcorn enjoying the smell of them and took a bowl from the counter and emptied the bag on it. Discarding the pack you placed another one in the microwave before returning to your spot on the counter and taking the glass from Balthazar’s hands.

“That’s my whiskey,” He said in mock annoyance

“I’m sorry haven’t seen a label with your name on it” You sassed taking a sip from the whiskey.

“And?” He said you shrugged in response without looking at him

“Did you mean those words?” He suddenly asked

“Will it change something if I say something?” You said looking up at those blue eyes.

“Will it change something if I say you are my soulmate and I love you too?” He said simply

“Is this another joke?” You frowned at him but he kissed you this time.

“I don’t love you” You answered when you pulled apart.

“You always were such a terrible liar,” He said cradling your face in both of his hands. This time he kissed you more passionately only to be interrupted by the microwaves ringing.

“Shit,” You said softly while moving to retrieve the popcorn and place them in another bowl.

“Well resume this later” He winked at you and with a smile you took from the fridge a can of soda and another of Ice tea.

“You’d better” picking up the bowls and the cans you joined Charlie on the couch again.

“Took you long enough” Charlie greeted you “What were you doing?”

“Waiting six minutes for the popcorn to be cooked” You answered while you place in her hand the soda can

“Twenty bucks he forgets the whiskey” Dean bet

“Twenty-five” Gabriel raised

“Fifty” Samm joined

“Fifty he brings only two glasses” Castiel added

At that moment you heard footsteps approaching and Balthazar’s humming.

“Shit! The whiskey” Balthazar swore followed by two glass clinking making you and Charlie burst into laughs.

Some years later...

“Daddy! Daddy!” Your four years old son yelled, “How you fell in love with mommy?”

“Well, that’s a good story,” Balthazar said to his son while smirking.

“Don’t listen to him. He made fun of me as much as he could and more” you said to your son while you joined them on the library.

“She’s fun to tease” Balthazar whispered to him making him giggle.

“Andy, they’re a couple of liars” Sam started

“We had to put up with your father’s girl talk for so long” Dean continued making the angel roll his eyes.

“And with your mothers complaining too,” Charlie added. Now it was your turn to roll your eyes.

“She made us watch Titanic just to annoy your father” Gabriel added “Your mother doesn’t even like that movie”

“I hate it, to be honest” You chuckled at the memory.

“She’s evil” Your mate explained to his son earning a ‘No, she’s lovely’ from him “Yeah, but she drank my whiskey. One which was rare and expensive” Balthazar glared at you.

“He drank it himself but doesn’t remember because he has memory problems because he’s such a greybeard” Your son laughed at your comment and you stuck out your tongue at your soulmate.

“Besides all the teasing” Castiel continued gaining Andy’s attention “They were made for each other”

“And your father won't admit it,” Chuck said from behind Balthazar making all of you turn to him, except your mate who was looking at you intently with so much adoration and love “but he fell in love with your mother since the very first moment he heard her name” He explained with a smile.

Hope you liked this send me an ask if you want to be tagged. Love Y'all.

[read-the-reid]

Jean Pockets

Summary: Sam and Dean go out for a hunt while you stay behind since Jody, Donna, and the girls are coming to the bunker for Thanksgiving. You tell him to hurry back because there are some naughty things waiting for him when he returns. Pairing: Dean x Reader Warnings: SMUT, unprotected sex, language, lovey-dovey fluff Word Count: 5,350 A/N - so I ended up in New Orleans this past weekend and took my laptop with me to write while I was there and that was a huge fail. So...sorry about that. Anyways, this fluff mess is sorta kinda partially based off a dream I had the other night. Enjoy. I know I did. 

You hated when Dean left for a hunt without you. You hated staying in the bunker while he and Sam went out and risked their lives every second they were gone. Most hunts you would tag along and stay in the motel and answer a call if some local cop decides they need to talk to the boys’ supervisor. You tried to get Dean to let you come with him but he insisted you stay behind to welcome Jody, Donna, and the girls when they got here. As much as you hated it, he was right.

As you walk into the kitchen to start dinner for yourself you stop. You look around and can’t help but smile. It had been almost four years since you met the Winchester boys. 

“Hello, I’m Agent Green and this here is my partner Agent Darenn, FBI, we are here to look into the string of disappearances starting with Fiona Cox,” the shorter one who identified himself as Agent Green informed you.

“Well Agents sorry to waste your time and money, but we don’t need any help from the feds, we have it covered. So just have your-,” you were cut off before you could tell them to have their supervisor give our office if that was a problem.

“Oh, Y/N, it’s fine. I called them. They are friends of mine, just needed an outside opinion from some familiar faces. Oh boy is it good to see your faces? You two sure are a sight for sore eyes, man I’ve missed the both of ya,” Donna pulled the boys in for a hug and they seemed to gladly accept and reciprocate. “Sam, Dean, this is Y/N, the new girl I got on my team. The one I was telling you about.”

You blushed at the thought of Donna talking about you to two very attractive men and for what reason you had no clue. The one named Dean was quick to throw smirks and glances your way, making your heart melt and your palms sweaty. What in the hell had come over you? He was Donna’s friend and they made him off limits. Even so, every time Dean would look at you or ask you a question your heart rate would speed and you would get nervous for no reason. You knew he was trouble. Any man who was this good at making a girl feel like this with just looks and a couple of questions was bad news period. So when he told you he was in town for a few days and asked if you wanted to go out for coffee you said no. Or at least that is what your brain had wanted to say. Your mouth had other plans.

“Sure. That sounds great.”

“Great, um, meet me at Castle’s at seven?” he let the question linger, letting you seal the deal, giving you the chance to back out if you wanted to.

“Yeah, that uh, that’s perfect. I’ll see you there.”

  Four years. Four years of wild adventures and drunk nights and memories to last a lifetime, and you can only go forward from here. You pull out a pot to boil water for pasta. You were in the mood for homemade alfredo tonight. You were in the middle of preparing the ingredients when you heard footsteps behind you. You turn around to see Dean carrying a duffel bag on his shoulder and his car keys in his hands. He was in his everyday jeans and a red flannel. His boots tied haphazardly with absolutely no precision and his hair a messy tuft of brown.

“Hey babe,” you set down the box of pasta and make your way over to him. You wrap your arms around his waist and look up at him. “you guys headed out?”

He set his duffel bag down and put his keys in his pocket. His hands slowly make it up your sides and to your face. “Yes, and know you hate when we leave without you, but I need you here and I need you safe. Plus, the girls will be coming to town tomorrow and I don’t think Sammy and I will be back in time. So, you, my very lovely, very beautiful girlfriend will have to be here to greet them and welcome them to our humble underground abode.” He flashes you a smile that still makes you weak in the knees. 

He kisses your forehead and unwraps your arms around his waist. He makes his way to the fridge and rummages through it looking for something to snack on. He finds a leftover chicken finger and sticks it in his mouth. You laugh at him and turn around to continue cooking. He walks up behind you and wraps his arms around you and places a kiss on your cheek. Your movements still and you catch your breath. Moments like this are your favorite. Domestic moments. Small kisses in the kitchen as you cook, or doing laundry together, or even sitting down and getting cuddled up to watch a random re-run of Friends. No Lucifer, no demons, no apocalypse, nothing evil.

You turn around and look into his green eyes. “I love you so much. You know that right?” You know he knows, but you like to make sure he hears it.

“Yes, and I hope you realize I love you more than you could ever know.” He places his hands on your cheeks and presses his lips to yours. The kiss is gentle but it is full of meaning and full of love. You reach up and tangle your fingers in his already unruly hair. He pulls your body closer to his and you know if you don’t put a stop to this now, he will not be leaving this bunker any time soon. You disconnect yourself from his lips and softly run your fingers down his face. he closes his eyes and leans into your touch and lets out a breath. “Woman, I swear you will be the death of me.”

“Yeah well, I hope that is many many years down the road. I’m not yet finished with you just yet.” You slide your hands behind him and reach for his back pockets and laugh when Dean mumbles a ‘not again’. You slide your hands into his back pockets and give the slightest squeeze to his butt and plant a kiss on his lips.

“You know I have never understood your need to do this to my butt every time I leave.” His rolls his eyes as dramatically as he possibly can and plants a kiss on your nose. 

“Because I really love your butt.”

“Well, my butt really has to leave now. I love you. I will see you in a few days. Tell the girls I say hello when they get here.” He grabs his bag off the floor and makes his way out of the kitchen and shouts one last ‘I love you’ before making his way to the garage. 

You get an idea that may give Dean a little pep in his step to get back as soon as possible. You jog through the bunker and into the garage just in time. Dean stops the car, rolls his window down and raises an eyebrow at you. You lean into the car and give him one last kiss then lean in closer to his ear so you know that Sammy can’t hear, “I know you have this case and all, but hurry back because there is a lot of dirty sex waiting for you when you get back.” You move away from him before you can get a reaction and shout to Sam to keep him safe and alive as you walk back into the bunker. You smile to yourself as you make your way to the kitchen again. These next few days were going to be hell, but it will definitely be worth it.

The first night by yourself went by pretty easy. You cleaned a lot of the bunker to get ready for all the girls to show up.The second night was a little lonely but bearable. It was now nearing noon on Monday and you had just gotten a call from Jody to tell you that everybody was about ten minutes out. You thanked the evil angels above because you felt as if you were slowly going mad sitting in the bunker all alone with nothing to do and no one to talk to. You needed human contact. You finally hear the bunker door open and hear the laughter of all the girls bounce off of the war room walls. You grab a few beers from the fridge and make your way to the bottom of the stairs to greet them. 

“Hey! Come on in your guys. Feel free to throw your stuff anywhere for now. You had to carry it down those windy stairs, take a load off. Have a beer.” You step over bags to hug Donna trying not to drop any of the beers you are holding. It has been way too long since you have seen her.

“Don’t mind if I do,” Claire reaches for one of the beers. You move them out of her reach as you, Donna, and Jody all say a chorus of ‘nice try.’ Claire shrugs her shoulders and laughs. She leans in and wraps her arms around you for a hug. “Was worth a shot. How you been Y/N?”

“Been good. Really good actually,” you smile to yourself. “Been going a little stir crazy all alone in here since the boys left Friday evening. You guys arrived just in time to prevent a full-on manic episode.”

Alex laughs and takes one of the beers you had in your hands. You hand the others to Jody and Donna as you finish your round of hugs. 

“You must be Patience. It’s nice to finally meet you. My name is Y/N, I’m Dean’s girlfriend.” You offer a hug and she is slow to accept but after a few seconds, she wraps her arms around you. 

Everybody makes their way to the bunkers library as you grab a few more beers from the fridge. You sit down in a chair as Donna starts talking.

“So, tell us all the good Winchester gossip.”

You smile wide. Man have you missed this bunch of girls. You all sit in the library and swap stories ranging from all the different hunts we have all been on lately to the current standing of the angel predicament. You were in the middle of teasing Claire for having a crush on a hunter she had come by named Mitchell when the bunker door opens. Your smile widens and you get out of your chair to rush into Dean’s arms.

“Hey, there babe. Miss me?” He wraps you in his arms and kisses the top of your head before tilting your head up and planting a quick kiss on your lips. 

You hug him tighter and kiss the corner of his mouth. “More than you will ever know.” Sam clears his throat next to the two of you. “I missed you too, Sam. Just maybe a little less,” you shot a wink at Dean and the three of you laugh.

Sam pulls you in for a hug and kisses the side of your head. “As much as I hate to admit I missed having you on this hunt.”

You separate from Sam and press your self into Dean’s side as you all walk towards the library. Sam and Dean do their rounds of hugs and hellos and as if they were never missing, you all sat down, you now cuddled on Dean’s lap, asking how the hunt was. They informed you it was just a cut and dry vamp nest. Small. No more than ten. After about forty-five minutes Deans speaks up.

“Well girls, as much as I have loved catching up, I am exhausted. I am gonna turn in for the night. I will see you all in the morning. You all have your pick of rooms, there are plenty here.” Dean pats your hips signaling for you to get up. You stand with him and give him a kiss as he goes off to bed.

“Rooms are down these two halls here,” you point to the two hallways branching off of the library. “Bathrooms are spaced sporadically between all the rooms. So if you just look hard enough and you will find them, I am going to go lay with my boyfriend. Love you guys, I will see you in the morning.” Sam and the girls say their goodnights to you and continue talking among themselves. 

You walk the hallway and make your way to Dean’s room. You turn the corner and Dean’s movements catch your eye. You lean yourself up against his door frame and admire what you get to call yours. He reaches over his head and removes his shirt and throws it on the floor. You ogle his back muscles as they contract and ripple. You have always loved his back, there was just something about it that drove you crazy. The way his shoulder blades would move or the way it looked in a tight shirt. You silently get into the room and close the door. As he reaches down to undo his belt you walk up behind him and snake your arms around his hips. You get on your tiptoes and press your lips to his neck.

“Here, let me,” you grab the buckle and undo his belt for him. You slide it out of the loops and throw it on the floor to be found at a later time. You unbutton his pants and run your fingers along the hem of his boxers.

“I am fully capable of undressing myself, you know. I am a grown man,” he turns his head and kisses your lips forcefully. He turns his body to face you as you kiss down his neck.

“I’m well aware of how grown you are, Winchester, I just enjoy taking your clothes off,” you pause. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ll let you take my clothes off.”

He smiles. “Works for me.”

Dean grabs your ass and lifts you off of the ground. You wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. He kisses his way down your neck, biting down softly every few inches or so. You let out a moan as you tangle your fingers in his hair. You feel your body hit the bed, Dean’s body pressing you into the mattress, his face still buried in your neck. His hands wander your body until they find their way to the hem of your shirt. He lifts your shirt over your head and tosses it onto the floor. He reaches behind you and unhooks your bra, you hold the cups to your chest and let the straps slide down your shoulders. You drop your bra onto the floor along with your guys’ clothes. Dean runs his hands up and down your body, sending chills up your spine.

“God, you are so beautiful.” He looks at you with admiration in his eyes that you have never seen before. His lips are parted and his breathing begins to pick up the longer he looks at you. His eyes flicker to meet yours and he flashes you a smile that makes the heat between your legs almost unbearable.

You push his jeans down and off of his legs along with his boxers. You hear his jeans hit the floor as you roll the two of you over so you are on top. You take in every detail of him, locking it into memory. The way his lips part as he breathes, the way his eyes hood and his head rolls back when you grind into him. Every line and every muscle in his chest. The way his hips thrust up unintentionally when you press your cloth covered center onto him. He doesn't make a move to take control just yet.

“Y/N, I love you, I really do, but if you don’t do something right now I am going to go insane. Please,” the words are strained and he hisses when you rake your fingernails along his stomach.

“But, baby, I like seeing you beg.”

“Y/N,” he warns, or at least the best he could. You knew he was trying to sound intimidating but it came out a grunt. Another jolt of his hips and you end the torture.

“Do your worst, Winchester.” You lean down and whisper. You press your lips to his, letting him take control. 

The second the words leave your mouth, you are flipped over and pinned to the bed. He reaches between the two of you and drags your panties down your legs, pushing them off the sheets. He runs his fingers up your thigh stopping at your wet folds. He spreads your legs and places himself between your knees, lowering himself on top of you.

“It’s a good thing you can’t hear anything through these walls,” and with that sentence, he thrusts into you. Your back arches and a loud moan leaves your mouth. Your arms wrap around his neck and you pull him close to you. His movements still and he wraps an arm around you back. He doesn’t make a move to continue and every attempt you make to move he holds you still.

“Dean, please, fucking move,” you move your hips trying to get any friction possible but he holds your hips still. Dean huffs a small laugh and rolls you around so that you are sitting on top of him. 

You lean forward and grab onto the headboard. His hands grip you hard enough to leave bruises; you moan knowing you will have marks of him in the morning. You grind your hips into him, causing him to grunt. “Stop moving.”

He lifts your body up by your hips and pushes into you at a speed that makes your head swirl. You find his pace and start bouncing back down onto him. You throw your head back letting out noises that are somewhere in between screams and moans. The feeling of him inside you sends pleasure to every single one of your nerve endings. You place a hand on his chest to steady yourself on top of him. His thrusts become irregular and the sounds that are coming from him send your stomach in a whirl. 

“Dean, I-I’m close. Don’t stop.” The words coming out in a whine.

Dean grunts, slamming into you. He pushes himself all the way into you and stills. His hips stutter as he cums inside of you. The feeling pushing you over the edge. You press your lips to his and your moans are muffled through the kiss. Your body shakes through your orgasm, your toes curl and your back arches. Your breathing slows and you roll onto the bed, covering yourself with the blanket.

“Y/N I have no idea why you’re covering up, we’re both a mess.”

“Just give me second to catch my breath and we’ll go take a shower.” No more than ten seconds later your naked body is hoisted into his arms. You yelp as he carries you toward the bathroom bridal style. You lock eyes with him and you smile. Your heart skips a beat; you have never been so in love.

**

“Guys, you honestly don’t need to help me with the food.” Jody and Donna had woken up shortly after you and insisted they help with the food. 

The turkey was already in the oven and pies were baked. You had made sure to make more than enough knowing Dean will probably eat one all by himself. You were currently setting the table while Jody and Donna peeled potatoes.

“We insisted. So we will help. Plus we won’t leave you to cook this much food alone. The boys eat massive amounts to begin with, and now you are adding five people. We are helping.” Jody laughs.

The three of you get into a rhythm and finish everything within a reasonable amount of time. Dean had woken up about two hours after you and made his way into the kitchen to say good morning. You then promptly shooed him out of the kitchen. Sam poked in to say hello and hug everybody and escorted himself out. The girls never can to say good morning but every once in a while you could hear them argue about something so you knew they were all awake. Once all the food was finished and ready to serve you made your way into the library where everybody was to tell them food is ready.

“Hey guys, the food’s ready.” Everybody gets up and rushes past you toward the kitchen muttering their thanks.

Dean gets up and walks towards you, “I love you. Thank you.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “For what?”

“Well for starters, the food. I would have been good with takeout.”

“It’s Thanksgiving. It’s a special day. I wanted to do this for you guys, and I wanted everybody here. I wanted our family here.”

Dean smiles at you. He presses a kiss to your lips and pulls you into his arms. “How did I get so lucky for you to fall in love with me?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” you rest your head on his chest and hug him closer. 

You look up and into Dean’s eyes and you felt as if you could cry. If someone had told you two years ago that you would be where you are right now you would have laughed in their face and probably stabbed them or something. You never thought yourself capable of loving someone with everything in you and truly never believed you deserved for someone to love you the way Dean does.

Your mind filled with memories of you and Dean Winchester from the past couple years. 

The first time you two had kissed. It was about three months after the two of you had met. He was in town for another case and you had run into him at a bar. You had a few too many drinks, thanks to him ever so generously buying more and more for you, that you had just kissed him. In the middle of his sentence. Then ran away. He told you a year later that that had been the moment he knew he would do anything to be with you.

The time he (awkwardly) asked you to be his girlfriend. It was about a year after you had learned the truth about what was really out there, and about six months after you had left the police department, much to Donna’s dismay, to commit to hunting full time. You loved it. You didn’t hunt now nearly as much because of a bad vamp nest about a year ago. But back then it was exhilarating. You had found a case in Kansas and told the boys you would be in town. You and the boys had stayed in contact after you learned the truth and teamed up on some cases if you were both there. The case had been easy. Werewolf. The job was down after a few days. You had all gone out for drinks and Dean stopped you as you were leaving and asked you if you wanted to “like date permanently or whatever” you laughed at him saying yes you would “date him permanently”.

So many memories are running through your head when Dean catches your attention. “What’s going on up there Y/N?” he smiles at you.

“I was just thinking about the time you asked me to date you permanently. I was terrified, but I’m glad I said yes.” you smile at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

He chuckles. “You were terrified then, I’m terrified now, I guess that makes right now the perfect time, huh?” He backs up from you and backs up. He looks at you with a hint of fear in his eyes.

“What are you talking about?” He says nothing. “Dean?”

“The day I met you, you basically told me to fuck off of a case. It took everything in me to not start laughing at you. You were so cute,” he moves you and sits you down in a chair. “you had this fire in you that I loved. I knew I needed to see you again. I did everything to see you again. I-”

“Dean, what is going on? Why are you saying this?” You cut him off, confused.

“Fine, I’ll skip to the end. Y/N you have been apart of our lives for almost four years, and it has been the absolute best four years of my life. It has been full of love and light and home-cooked meals,” you both laugh. “You used to tell me that you didn’t deserve to be loved, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. You deserve all the love in the world plus a little more. You deserve a big house with a white fence with a businessman husband and three kids. You deserve a life that I cannot give you.”

Had it not been for the smile on Dean’s face, that last line would have made you begin to panic.

“You kept telling me that you don’t want that life, that you want a life here with me, with monsters, and fake badges, and takeout food, and it took me a really long time to believe that. Not because I thought you were lying, but because I thought you were too good to be true. I thought you would realize one day that you were way too good for me and leave me. I finally got my head out of my ass, thank god, and realized you weren’t going anywhere. I love you more and more everyday Y/N, and you give me a reason to come home every night and a reason to wake up every morning. I don’t ever want there to be a day in time where you aren’t mine. I want you to be my partner in life and in the fake FBI forever. I had plans for this later and in front of everybody but right now felt like a perfect time. So,”

Dean’s words had tears spilling out of your eyes and your cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. He grabs your hand and lowers himself down onto one knee. Your heart skips a beat. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small wooden box. You feel the air leave your lungs and you grab Dean’s hand.

“Dean Winchester, what are you doing?” Your eyes widen as he takes the top of the box off and pulls out a ring. Tears are nonstop at this point, refusing to not leave your eyes. 

“Y/N Y/L/N, I love you, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in this world. Please, marry me?”

You are sobbing at this point. Ugly crying like no other. 

“YES! Yes, you big loser. Oh, my god! Yes, yes, yes, yes. Come here!” You pull his face to yours and kiss him. You are interrupted by a chorus of applause. The two of you break apart to see everyone standing in the doorway of the library.

You wipe the tears from your face and get up from the chair, Dean following from the floor. Dean slips the ring onto your left hand and kisses you one last time. You walk towards everybody with Dean by your side. Alex and Claire meet you halfway and crash into the two of you with a hug. 

“Oh my god! Let me see the ring!” You hold your hand out for the girls to look at. They are congratulating you and asking about wedding details you when everybody else approaches.

 Jody has tears in her eyes as she envelops the both of you. 

“Congratulations you two. I’m so very happy for you two,” Jody wipes the tears from her eyes. Donna doing the same.

You excuse yourself and make your way around the two women towards Sam. “It’s official, you’re going to have an annoying little sister.” You wave the ring in his face, laughing. He hugs you, laughing. 

“You know he bought that ring two years ago?” 

“What?”

“Yeah, came home with it one day during that week you were up north with Donna. I was shocked. I didn’t know what to say to him. I asked him when he was going to ask you and he said and I quote ‘No time soon, but I am sure about her, I just need to be prepared in the moment presents itself’. He has carried that little box in his pocket for two years now. I was beginning to think he was never going to do it.”

“Well, I am very glad that he did.”

You feel Dean wrap his arm around you and press a kiss to the side of your forehead. You lean into him and wrap yourself into his arms. Sam walks around the two of you to join everybody behind you. You look at Dean with a look he knows in your eyes.

“Go ahead and tell them,” he laughs, getting everyone's attention. 

“Tell us what?” Claire asks.

“Well, we might as well at this point. Much longer and you’ll figure it out themselves. I’m pregnant.” You are greeted with another round of hugs and tears. 

“How far along are you?” the question coming from Alex.

“Four months. Due sometime in April,” Dean answers.

Sam’s eyebrows shoot up. “Four months? You kept this a secret for four months?” his smile betrays any hint of being upset. 

We had debated telling Sam, but wanted to tell everyone together and once you told him that, he understood. 

“When in April are you due? I want to take some time off and come visit when the baby arrives.” Donna asks.

“She will be arriving April 27th,” you answer, rubbing your hand over your stomach.

Sam, Donna, and Patience all shout “She?” together.

“Yes, she. Baby Scarlett.” Dean puts his hand over your still flat stomach. 

“That is a beautiful name.” Jody wipes a tear from her cheek.

“Scarlett Jody Winchester,” you look at Jody and her eyes well up with even more tears. “Scarlett after Y/N’s grandmother and Jody after the strongest, most supportive woman we know.”

Jody moves to hug you. You hug her as she cries into you, tears welling up in your own eyes at this point. “You guys, I swear you are trying to make me cry at this point.”

“I hope they are happy tears!” you chuckle.

“Oh, of course, they are!” she hugs you once again.

Once everything calms down and everybody has dried their happy tears you all make your way back towards the kitchen to eat the dinner that had been cooked. You sat down at the table surrounded by the people you love most. The people who would do anything for you, people you would do anything for. Your heart beat full of love and full of promise. A promise of a good and happy life. You were bringing a life into the world. A life that was half you and half Dean. This child was going to be a handful, but you were looking forward to every single moment of it. 

You look around you and see smiles and happiness, you hear laughter and excitement, you feel love and acceptance and friendship. When you had first found out you were pregnant, both you and Dean had been worried raising a child in a hunting life given how he grew up, but looking around you knew this child would never know loneliness, she would never know abandonment, she would feel support, and warmth, and endless amounts of love. 

She will have a home. She will have a family. She will know love.

Tag List

@capsheadquaters   @tremendousduckdonut   @ruprecht0420   @turnttover   @mrssammywinchester15   @chalicia    @dslocum89

Masterlist

Add yourself to my Tag List

Buy me a Coffee?

[tracie-beauchamp]

All is question of physics

A/N : Some people were waiting for this with impatience. It took time and it is not as good as I wanted it to be, but I did my best ! Thank you @aliyatyson @mila-regan and @sophiaravensfromillea for the support, you’re great girls ! Also mentions of @haidenschreave and other Selected I am too lazy to tag (sorry).

Point of view : Alan

 I close the door of the closet, happy that my day of work is over. I am fed up with cleaning again and again the halls, the corridors and the different auditoriums of this university, crossed by hundreds of Threes who have the chance to study what they want. They are not forced to do a job below their capacities, unlike us, the lower castes.

 I go out of Building 5 and cross the campus to reach the main lecture hall, where I know someone is waiting for me. I start running, realizing I am probably very late.

 Professor Stone frowned when I arrived sweating. He wasn't very fond of people practicing sports. He was too calm for such an activity.

 “You're late, mister Holland.”

 I almost roll my eyes. He tells me that every time.

 “You know my schedule, professor.”

 It became our way to say hello to each other.

 Professor Stone smiles and takes some books. “We have many things to study tonight.”

 I groan. I won't have as time as usually. Andrea is waiting for me. But Professor Stone is my mentor, I hate when I disappoint him. Sorry, Andrea, you'll have to wait.

 “But first,” says the professor, “I would like you to remind me of what we studied last time.”

 I open a book and sigh. It will be a long night.

 But luckily when I study with Professor Stone, it spends quickly. Three hours later, it feels like I've been there for only 30 minutes.

 “You're an excellent student, mister Holland. Smarter than most of the people I teach to everyday.”

 I never know how to react when he tells me that. It's supposed to be a compliment, but I will never be one of his student for real. I'm just a Six he decided to help for some strange reason I ignore.

 “You don't work tomorrow, is that right ?”

 “Yes, sir.”

 “I wait for you to be here at 10 o'clock, then. Goodnight, mister Holland.”

 He doesn't say anything else and leaves me alone in the lecture hall. I shake my head, still wondering why he decided to help me after that day he saw me reading in the library. He should have denounced me. But no, he only asked what the book was about. And now, I have to go his class every time I don’t work.

 I go back home, staying very careful. Once again we passed the curfew. I’ll have big problems if I am caught. And what about Andrea ? I can’t let her alone, she needs me.

 Talking about my fifteen-year-old sister, I realize she’s not sleeping when I arrive. She’s seated in front of the TV, a cup of tea in her hands. I do not dare to comment that it will make the electricity bill explode. I hope she has a good reason to watch TV so late at night.

 “There’s a rebel attack at the palace.” She announces when I sit next to her on our old decrepit sofa I bought at a yard sale.

 “What ? Again ?”

 They buried the queen yesterday, couldn’t they wait a little ? Are they so determined to kill the royal family ?

 Andrea shows the screen. A journalist is standing in front of the palace. “It’s not dangerous for her ?”

 She shrugs. “Actually I concluded that this attack is a conspiracy.”

 I laugh. Andrea sees conspiracies everywhere, even in the eliminations of the Selected. When the prince eliminated her favorite, Elizabeth Mathews, she complained all evening, declaring he wasn’t even king yet that he already made bad decisions. Her other favorites - Aileen and Viola - are not in the competition anymore either, she doesn’t know who she should support. Which means I have to undergo her interminable debates.

 “Do you think a dead Selected is planned then ?” I ask her.

 She drinks a swallow of tea, thinking about my question. “Adriana’s death is planned.”

 There’s a girl named Adriana ? I totally forgot it, Andrea repeats only the same names all day long. “Why her ?”

 “Because she is useless.” She can be so nasty when she doesn’t like someone. (this passage is not representative of my personal opinions.)

 “Really ? Then she is my new fave girl.”

 Andrea spits her tea. “Are you kidding me, Alan ?”

 “What ? It means she is perfect for the role. They’re all useless in this family, from the king to the cousins.” They all have their little life in the palace, dealing with their problems, going to balls with diplomats as stupid as them. They pretend they care about us, but they absolutely don’t. They matter more than us, especially concerning the lower castes. If they knew what our life is really like, if they lived what we live, they would delete them immediately.

 I don’t hate the royal family. They just live in another world. They wouldn’t be here that my life wouldn’t change for a bit. As I said, they’re as useful as a spoon in a bathroom.

 “Anyway, you should go to bed, Andrea.”

 “What ? No !”

 I hate that I have to be the parent now. It’s not my job, and Andrea knows it, which is harder to make me obey.

 “You’ll see what happened during the attack tomorrow. The journalist doesn’t know that much.” I turn off the TV and Andrea pouts.“You have school tomorrow.”

  Andrea rolls her eyes and gets up. “I’m fifteen, not eight, Alan.”

  It’s almost 2am, she could be 50 that I would tell her the same thing.  “And I’m eighteen. Go. To. Bed.” 

  She groans a last time, with the typical teenage angry look, and leaves the room. I sigh. I’m not made for this.

 The day after, everybody talk only about the rebel attack at the royal palace. Even at the university, this is the only conversation subject. Andrea didn’t tell me anything during the breakfast, still angry with me. What did I do to deserve a sister going through her adolescent crisis.

 I enter the lecture hall early, knowing there would be no one. I am going to take my usual seat in the left side, where nobody notices me, when I see her. She’s settled on my seat, quietly reading one of the numerous books on the desk. Then she yawns, puts the books, looks around and sighs. I’ve never seen her here before. Is she a new student ? Accepted in March, two months before the end of the year, is it possible ? Her parents must be rich and influential Threes, how else could she be accepted here ?

 She finally notices I am staring at her. She crosses her arms. “You wanna my picture or what ?”

 I immediately recognise this voice. Patricia Beauchamp, Elite of Illéa. Prince Haiden eliminated her just after his mother’s death. Without the makeup and the dresses, she is hard to identify. But now I know how she finished here. “Elite” must be a good argument.

 “This is my seat actually.”

 “Oh.” She pushes her books and changes place. I am surprised, I expected her not to move and to look at me haughtily. But I would rather she moves somewhere else. I prefer to be alone during class, afraid someone notices I am a Six.

 “You move ? If you stand here, I can take the seat back.” She says. I sit, still observing her. She does the same, probably waiting for me to comment about her participation in the Selection.

 “What are you studying with Professor Stone ?” She asks.

 “Black holes.”

 She rolls her eyes. I heard she was a genius, does she consider it is too easy for her intellect ? Pff, the higher castes are all the same, and it got worse with the Selection I bet.

 “I studied it last semester when I was in Whites, I’ll sleep I think. Wake me up when it is over.”

 Wut, seriously ? She’s going to sleep right now ? She puts her head on her pile of books and closes her eyes. This is the moment Professor Stone chooses to enter. I gesture at him. He simply smiles and gets closer to us.

 “Could you explain, professor ?” I whisper. Technically I'm not in right to ask this, but I really want to know.

 “The dean thought she would be an interesting addition to the university.”

 I look at her messy hair. “You use her ?”

 Suddenly she raises her middle finger. “I’m not asleep yet.”

 If she was like that during the Selection, it’s surprising she remained until the Elite.

 “But you’re right.” She continues. “They use me as an advert. Look, we have an Elite in our university !” Her head is still put on the books and her eyes still closed, which makes the situation even more ridiculous.

 Professor Stone grimaces. “The class is going to start.” He leaves us.

 This is clearly not what I expected. This girl is kind of surprising.

 “You’re always like that ?” I ask her, curious. She raises her head and I meet her hazel eyes. “Yup.”

 “How do people bear you ?”

 She doesn’t look upset by the question. “They don’t. It probably explains why I am stuck in the friendzone.” She admits without any shame. I blink stupidly, surprised by her answer again. Is she always so honest and straightforward ? Then she laughs, but it sounds false. Her remark hurts her more than she wants to show it.

 She raises her eyebrows. “Other questions ? I would like to take a nap, I didn’t really sleep last night.” Her deep marks below her eyes prove it.

 “Because of the rebel attack ?” I immediately ask.

 I can’t stop my questions, I always want to know more.

 She gets suddenly white. “What do you mean by ‘rebel attack’ ?” She almost shouts with an afraid sight. I frown, why does she react like this ?

 “Rebels attacked the palace. You must have been worried about your friends, no ?”

 She looks strangely relieved.

 “Oh, yeah. But Mila was in a bunker, so everything’s fine.”

 “There are five other girls, in case you forgot.” I argue.

 “Yeah, but I can see only Mila as Haiden’s wife. They’re perfect for each other.” She replies quietly. She hasn't been eliminated like  one week ago ? How can she support her friend so much ? She was in the Elite, there must have been something with Prince Haiden, no ? And it’s strange to hear her talk about them as if they are her friends. I’m so used to seeing them on TV, forgetting they are people with feelings too.

 “If you say so.” Nobody in Illéa understands his decisions, he eliminated many favorites these last weeks. This Mila could be the next one.

 She frowns. “I’m serious. You should see them together, there’s something.”

 “Was there something with you too ?” I suddenly ask.

 She blinks, surprised I dared to ask this. I’m surprised myself. This meeting is full of surprises.

 “I thought there could be. But there’s not, and it is better like that. I am not made for princess.” She suddenly opens a book. Her brutal gestures show her anger. “And I shouldn’t talk about this with someone I don’t know.”

 “But you do talk about this with someone you don't know.” I can’t help it, the words get out of my mouth before I can stop them.

 She sighs. “Yes, I do. I'm too despaired probably.”

 “We're all despaired about something.” She groans, a way to say she agrees I guess. “I'm Alan by the way.” I finally present myself.

 She bits her pen, hesitating. Stupid, I already know her name. “Tracie.” She says softly.

 I raise my eyebrow. “Tracie ?”

 “Only my mother calls me Patricia.” She explains. “And Haiden during few months. But he finally stopped.” She shrugs, but I notice she has again this hurt sight. Does she have feelings for him ? I wonder.

 Tracie looks me in the eye. “My feelings don’t matter, they never have.”

 I realise I said it aloud. I'm really good at spoiling everything. I think I will never go back to this lecture hall for a class taught by Professor Stone.

 “But it's okay.” She goes on. “I just need to learn how to deal with it.”

 She realizes how deep our conversation went and frowns, but she doesn't look mad. Just confused. “Now I'll sleep.” She declares. She doesn't wait my answer and puts her head on the desk.

 “Ok, I’ll wake you up at the end of the class.” I tell her, half kidding.

 She raises her middle finger again, but she smiles. “Thanks… Alan.”

Point of view : Tracie

 I make a strange dream during my nap. I don’t clearly remember it, but I am pretty sure the blue eyed guy, Alan, and the dean of the university were involved. A naked dean, I precise. This vision is printed on my brain, I will never forget it. I just hope Alan wasn’t naked too in that dream, I couldn’t look him in the eye again… Wait, why should it matter ? He’s just a random guy I met today. We talked a bit, that’s all. I don’t know him, he doesn’t know me. I maybe said too much, but I always say too much. And he didn’t stop with his questions, worse than a fucking journalist. However it was cool to have an open conversation like this one. It was impossible with Haiden, he felt uncomfortable every time I talked about a sensitive subject or asked him too many questions. At least, now I am eliminated, I won’t have to fight to have an answer from him anymore. I let this to Mila, he is such a pain. Given the fact I am already a pain myself -in another category though-, I don’t need a copy of me. I try as much as I can to see the good sides of my elimination. I know it wouldn’t have worked with Haiden, we’re too different, two opposites. But… there’s still a little pain I can’t delete. It’s here, and it will be here few weeks. It’s not really Haiden the problem -I am not in love with him, like, seriously man ?-, but I have to face my false hopes. Again. It’s already the second time I am rejected by a man. Again, a man let me hope something was possible. And again, he preferred someone else. It made me conclude that I am not made to attract men. I am not made for love. It’s just that Tracie and couple are not two compatible words. It’s hard to accept it, I won’t deny. I mean, what did I do ? Why can’t I be more than a friend ? What’s wrong with me ?  

 A voice gets me out of my thoughts. “You’re not sleeping anymore.”

 I open one eye, not really happy to be interrupted in my already unhappy reflection. Alan -it’s Alan, right ?- is leaning towards me, a pen behind his ear. He raises an eyebrow. I am pretty sure he expects me to give him the finger a third time.

 “I am not.” I admit. He glances at the professor, who talks with one of the most boring voices I’ve ever heard. Why did I want to go back to college ? I find it deadly boring, staying seated listening to a stupid Three who hardly knows what they’re talking about. I just want to get up and to do the lesson instead of them. I tried once, but I have been kicked out by the security, and the dean wanted to fire me. Well, he fired me, but I came back to my lessons just to piss him off.

 I realize Alan is very silent, especially compared to earlier. He writes quietly what the professor is saying.

 “No more questions ?” I ask him.

 He turned his head. “I always have questions. But you made me miss a big part of the lesson already, so they’ll wait.”

 Because he was asking questions ! It’s his fault, not mine ! It’s my turn to raise an eyebrow. “You think I’ll patiently wait for you to interview me ? I have a life you know.”

 Nah, you don’t, Tracie, I think.

 He puts his pen down. “Interview you ? I’m not a journalist.”

 I raise a finger to argue. “You could be a journalist, infiltrated here to get some juicy gossips.”

 He rolls his blue eyes. “I couldn’t be a journalist anyway, even if I wanted to.”

 I frown. He is a Three, no ? Why can’t he be a journalist ? Perhaps he sucks at writing. I could ask Illéa Weekly to get him an internship, they were quite nice with me. Huh, wait… Am I thinking about helping a guy I’ve just met ? The Selection got me crazy.

 “You’re a Three, why should it be a problem ?” I decide to ask him.

 “Who said I was a Three ?”

 “You’re in a physics class. You must be a Three.”

 “Says the Two working in modeling.” There’s a light of victory in his eyes.

 “You’re avoiding the question.” I go on, determined to know. He should not have provoked my curious side. Everybody knows that I don’t stop until I get my answer.

 “Maybe I prefer to ask than answer.” He looks at the ceiling. “And I shouldn’t talk about this with someone I don’t know.”

 He used the sentence I told him before my nap.

 “But you do talk about this with someone you don't know.” I immediately answer, grinning. Jammed.

 “But I know you.”

 I raise my eyebrows. “You don’t.” I already know he is going to answer something, I am just curious to know what.

 Alan clears his throat. “Your first name is Patricia, but everybody calls you Tracie, except your mother. You are a Two. You are an eliminated Elite, and you totally support Mila Regan, whatever you feel for the prince.”

 I cross my arms, feeling secretly attacked.

 “And you snore when you sleep.” He adds. It’s so stupid compared to the rest of his analysis that it makes me laugh.

 “I don’t !”

 “You slept next to me for the last hour, I can assure you snore.” I wrinkle my nose. Nobody has ever told me I snore. He must be lying. “Very lightly.” He admits. “But you snore.” Seeing I say nothing, he goes on. “I bet you can’t say as much about me.”

 The worst is that he’s right. But sorry to be known by everyone ! I won’t let myself be pushed around however.

 “Your first name is Alan. You’re 19.”

 “18.” He’s glad to correct.

 “But close to 19, seeing your corpulence and your jaw.”

 He doesn’t answer, so I am right. “You like physics. You have a shitty handwriting, too.” I ignore his “hey” and continue. “And you’re easily distracted.” I conclude.

 “Do you mean you are a distraction ?”

 I can feel my cheeks blushing. Damnit.

 “Anything can be considered as a  distraction with that man.” I gesture toward the professor.

 He is going to say something when the bell rings. I jump, having lost the habit to hear that sound. “You are not cardiac I hope.” Alan laughs.

 I stick my tongue out at him. “Certainly not. I have a very athletic body, in case you didn’t notice.”

 He bursts out laughing. “Ready for the olympic games, clearly.”

  I should be outraged, but I am not. Nobody wants to joke with me about my body usually.

  I look at my timetable. “Talking about olympic games, I should run to my next class if I want to be on time.”

  Kill me, it’s mathematics. I already know it will be deadly boring. What will I do ? Hum… drawing probably. Or noughts and crosses. Or another nap.

  Alan puts his stuff in his bag. “You really want to go there ?” He asks suddenly. “You’ve spent the last hours sleeping and talking with me.”

  Is it so obvious I don’t like college ?

  “What do you propose, then ? Skipping ?”

  It is an appealing idea, but I’m pretty sure Aliya will force me to go back here if she sees me at home so early.

  Alan puts his bag on his shoulder. “Yeah.” He scratches the back of his neck, looking suddenly uncomfortable. “I could… show you the town. You’ve just arrived.” 

  “I’ve been leaving in Angeles for months.”

  “The golden cage doesn’t count. You’ve never gone outside I bet.”

  “The beach once.”

  He pinches his lips. Did he seriously think I would accept so easily ?

  “C’mon. I have an interview to do, remember ?” He begs.

  I can’t help but smile. “Okay.” I finally say.

  It seems he expected more resistance, seeing the astonished look he has. I wonder if I don’t make a bad decision. But then he grins, his blue eyes looking even brighter. And I can’t do anything else except following him.

I hope nobody wants to kill me after this end.