#anyway eventually they do talk about it and jan admits he only stayed because of nace and because he has feelings for him

[lovvecherrymotion]

ooohhhh for that ask game: jance + au where they work on a cruise ship, nace plays in one of the entertainment bands and jan is a chef in the kitchen :3 (or other jobs if youd like idk how this game works but i think this would be fun)

OHHHH this was so fun to think about (i've never been on a cruise ship and have no idea how they work but)

also this got out of my control, i'm sorry 😭

let's reverse the roles a little bit, shall we? jan is the new guy - he's worked in several restaurants but he's not quite sure what he wants to do in life and his dad knows a guy and that's how he ends up in a cruise ship cooking boring food for a bunch of retirees (he has nothing against them, personally, but after the first two weeks he's pretty sure this is not what he wants to do)

anyway, he mostly keeps to himself. he's met some of the staff and he really hit it off with jure, who's in charge of repair work, and has led a pretty interesting life (worked at his parents farm for a couple of years, then as a camera man, then as a mildly successful drummer for a slovenian band called apokalipsa...) he's nice, doesn't ask too many questions and jan feels pretty comfortable spending his free time with him, while listening to jure talk about whatever it is that's going on in his life

(he hears about bojan and nace, who work on the cruise ship as well, as part of the band, and his friend martin, who was also a part of apokalipsa with them, and is now working in IT, and kris, bojan's on and off boyfriend and also best friend - it's too complicated for jan to keep up, honestly)

eventually jure decides this isn't enough though and starts dragging him around - he starts befriending more staff members and eventually he meets the famous bojan and nace. bojan is warm and friendly and accepts jan with open arms but it's nace who catches jan's eye (and despite a bit of an awkward first meeting because jan very much Does Not Know how to act around someone he finds attractive, they quickly become very very close)

and as they get closer, jan finds himself with a crush. a crush on nace, with his tattoos and stupidly handsome face and his loud laugh that makes jan feel butterflies in his stomach. nace who's always so kind and listens to jan ramble for hours after a particularly stressful day and somehow always knows what to say. nace who has somehow carved a place in his life without even trying and says his chicken soup is the best one he's ever had and-

jan realizes he's in love with nace the night before he's supposed to make a decision about his future. he's been giving the chance to stick around because they like him there and he's competent and his dad's friend is happy to offer him a new contract. jan had been pretty sure he didn't want to stick around any longer than he needed but, when the realization hits him, he's not sure what to do. he doesn't love the work he does, but he can no longer imagine his days without nace around - he doesn't want to imagine his days without nace around

(he signs a new contract the following afternoon and when they all get together at the end of the night, and he's safely tucked in under nace's arm, a blinding smile on nace's lips, as they all celebrate jan staying with them, he knows he's made the right decision)

Leave an AU and a pairing in my ask and I’ll give you the plot of the fic I won’t write for it

[jwillowwolf]

Magic and Miracles - Chapter 8

Sanders Sides Big Bang fic, Chapter 8!

< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter > | Masterlist

Summary: “Not a morning person?”

“Does staying up until five am count?”

“Wh- no! That’s actually a bit concerning. Please don’t tell me you were up until five then only slept two hours before we started walking.”

“I won’t tell you that then.”

Warning/s: food mention.

Characters: Logan, Virgil, OCs, Roman, Remy, Remus, Patton, Janus, Emile.

Tag List: @theimprobabledreamersworld @remy-please-come-back

Read on AO3

8 | Fondness

Logan stared at the ceiling above him. It seemed like just yesterday he had been doing this out of boredom, waiting for when everyone was supposed to tour the manor. He’d been so anxious about what studying here would mean and how he would socialise with his classmates. Now though, they were all his friends, and he found himself mildly amused that he’d ever been nervous about getting to know them.

This room that had seemed so strange before had become home. Everything from the view outside his window to the softness of the bed was as familiar as his room at the bakery. Soon though, this would no longer be his home.

With the upcoming license test, he would officially become a wizard, and therefore no longer need to remain a student. He’d miss being here and having his friends so close. Come to think of it, he would miss his friends greatly too. After the test, they would be returning to their far off homes. Virgil didn’t live very far off, but Logan felt that it wouldn’t be proper for someone like him to be visiting the prince.

In a couple of days, all of Logan’s dreams about being a wizard would come true, yet he would lose the dreams he never knew he had…

“Rise and shine, witches! You’ve got a big day ahead!”

Logan shook his head, as if that would clear it of any unwanted thoughts, and got out of bed. Today he couldn’t be distracted by silly emotions. Remy was sending them on a huge quest to refine their skills before the big test.

At breakfast, everyone seemed excited for the quest. It was going to be an overnight kind of thing and they were doing it on their own. They had all been taught to teleport and a special spell that would summon Remy if the need arose, but they were still going to be doing this entirely independent of any other adults.

“Hey, you okay L?” Virgil asked as they were walking down the hall.

“Hmm?”

“You look like you’re trying to solve the meaning of life.”

“...What?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “You look broody, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is… wrong, per se.”

“Per se?”

“I’m probably just feeling tired from staying up last night studying the notes Remy gave us.”

“Well, hopefully, breakfast lifts your energy, because we have a long walk ahead of us.”

Logan didn't have time to even respond to that as he was tackled to the ground by a hug. "Everleigh? What are you doing here?"

"I came to wish my friends good luck of course! Your dad is here too."

Sure enough, Emile was there in the dining room waiting on everyone else with a special spread of pastries for breakfast.

"Hey kids, I figured you'd want something good to start your big day."

"It's not even test-day yet Mr Picani, but thank you! Your pastries are incredible." Willow declared.

"Well, thanks kiddo. Today isn't your test but it's still a pretty big day. I will be sure to make pastries for test day too though."

"It's not that big a quest really," Remy said. "It's just a longer trip than I usually send them on for ingredient collecting."

"Considering it's a two-day journey to retrieve a rare fruit from a cave, I doubt calling today big would be an exaggeration." Virgil pointed out.

"Back when I was learning magic, we didn't even get teleportation spells for coming back. We'd have to walk there and back, and as quickly as we could too." Remy stated.

"Whatever you say, old man."

"Old? Did you just call me old?" Remy said in a greatly offended tone.

Virgil smirked. "Yup."

Remy turned to Emile. "See what disrespect I have to deal with? You know what, I'm not even going to miss you, sassy little ankle-biters."

The teens all snickered at Remy's dramatics and then dug into their breakfast.

“So, are you guys excited?” Emile asked.

“For the quest itself, not so much. But for the afterparty,” Roman said.

“Yeah, Remy promised us that we’d even get the next day off school, so we could stay up as late as we want!” Remus added.

“I have a feeling I’m going to regret that deal,” Remy whispered to Emile, who nodded with a giggle.

“Can I come to the party?” Everleigh asked.

“Of course,” Remy replied. “They seem to get into less trouble with you around. I’m half tempted to ask you to join them on this quest of theirs.”

“We’re not that accident prone, thank you very much. We’ve kept ourselves out of trouble all month,” Janus pointed out.

“Yeah, and I’m worried you’re due for a disaster,” Remy sighed.

Logan nodded. “Statistically speaking, it’s odd that we’ve gone this long without something happening.”

“That’s comforting…” Virgil muttered.

Janus shrugged. “We’re just getting better at self-preservation. We’ll be fine.”

---

“I retract my earlier statement,” Janus declared as they were walking. “We’re all going to die of exhaustion.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Jan, that’s my job,” Roman stated.

“And we’ve barely been walking for half a day now,” Willow pointed out.

“Half a day, mainly uphill,” Janus reiterated.

“Perhaps if we all talk about something, our minds won’t be so concentrated on the tiredness,” Patton suggested.

Logan nodded. “Yes, doing something else should distract our brains from any pain or exhaustion. Either with a stimulating conversation or some kind of sing-along.”

“I know a good song!” Remus declared. “She’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes-!”

“No! You are not starting that nightmare up again,” Roman interrupted with a stern glare at his grinning twin.

“Oh, come on, Roro. You love this song!”

“I passionately despise that song.”

“All I heard was ‘passionately’, do you want to marry this song, Ro?” Remus asked. “Or do you just want to--”

“Shut up!” Roman shouted, his face turning as red as Remus’s eyes.

“What do you have against that song?” Willow inquired.

“It’s the way she sings it,” Roman explained. “It’s not appropriate.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “All I said was-”

“No! You have lost speaking privileges.” Roman declared.

“Well then, is there anything else we can talk about?” Janus asked,

“We could play a game,” Patton suggested.

“But not eye spy or word chain,” Virgil immediately added.

Roman huffed. “Alright then, how about you suggest a game, stormcloud?”

“A race.”

Janus stared at him dumbfounded. You’re kidding, right?

Virgil shook his head. “Nope. Let’s all race to… that archway, the winner gets first pick of the treats Mr Picani gave us for lunch.”

Everyone, despite their tiredness from walking, exchanged looks of determination.

“Let’s go!”

---

Once it was close to sunset, the seven finally halted their walking and made camp with the supplies they’d been given. They had two tents, a good amount of firewood, plenty of food to go around, and sleeping bags for each of them. Janus started the fire and began heating up a pot of stew for dinner.

Remus laid himself flat on the ground. “Gods, everything hurts.”

Patton sighed. “I told you not to jump through that bush.”

“I didn’t know it was hiding a steep incline.”

“I told you it was hiding a steep incline,” Roman huffed.

“Well, when have I ever listened to you?”

Roman just sighed in exasperation, too tired to continue arguing.

“The healing spell should only take a little longer to complete,” Virgil said. “So the pain will eventually fade.”

“Eventually?!”

“Remus, you basically jumped off a cliff, please stop complaining about the consequences of your actions,” Willow said.

Remus looked at her with a raised brow. “Someone’s in a bad mood.”

“They’re hangry,” Janus stated. “And so am I, when is this thing going to finish heating up?!”

“I still have some pastries from lunch to snack on,” Patton offered.

“Oh, Patty, you’re a saint!” Willow declared joyfully.

Logan watched his teammates with a faint smile. These interactions were starkly different from how they used to treat each other in the beginning. Well, Remus and Roman still bickered, but they were siblings. Janus and Roman no longer acted like they wanted to kill one another. Willow spoke with confidence to everyone instead of their meek tones. Virgil became more social and even laughed and smiled along with the group now. Patton was still his kind-hearted self, although now he was a lot more appreciated for it.

It was a far cry from the dysfunctional class of misfits that they had been. And in Logan’s opinion, it was a real improvement. He couldn’t believe that he’d once been so set on looking out only for himself when now he was so determined to help his team. His friends…

“-gan? Logan?”

“Hmm?”

Virgil gave him a small smile. “You spaced out, I was asking if you wanted your stew now.”

“Oh, um, yes, thank you.”

Virgil handed him one of the bowls in his hands and then sat beside him. “Mind if I ask what’s got you so deep in thought?”

“I was just thinking... about how much I’ll miss all of you,” Logan admitted. “Once we’ve all passed the test and can move on with our lives, the twins will sail off to their island, Janus and Willow will go back to Evergreen Valley, Patton will return to his parents and brother, and you’ll- well, you know…”

“Do you really think after all we’ve been through together, we’d abandon each other that easily?”

“It’s possible.”

“So is the end of the world, but tomorrow is just as possible as that.”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“Well, look at it this way. If you throw a coin up in the air, there’s an equal chance of it landing on either heads or tails, right?”

“Yes.”

“So there is a chance that we’ll all grow apart, but there’s a bigger chance that we’ll stay friends despite the distance. We’ve got magic to take us back and forth anyway. Staying in touch will be easier than you think.”

“Well, what about your whole secret identity thing?”

“After the test, I’m going to finally show the kingdom who I am.”

Logan paused. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, I feel like I’m finally ready to take on the responsibility of having a public image. That means I’ll need to surround myself with the right kinds of people, and you all are exactly the kinds of people I want by my side.”

“Even me? The non-noble?”

“Especially you, Logan. I mean, titles, they’re nothing more than titles. Just words that give a person a position. You, despite the position in life you were given, worked hard to become the first-ever non-noble mage. Title or no title, you are an incredible person Logan, and I’m grateful to have even met you.”

Logan searched Virgil’s face for any hint of insincerity but found none. Those stormy grey eyes held no dishonesty. Only… Fondness? Logan wasn’t good enough at understanding emotions to know exactly what Virgil was feeling, but he felt that it wasn’t anything malicious.

“Thank you, Virgil.”

“No problem. So, do you have any specific plans for what you want to do after the test?”

“Well, I wanted to open up a medical practice.”

“I thought you specialised in air magic? If you’re going into doctoring, why not take up healing magic?”

“I planned on specializing in helping people transition for an affordable price.”

“Oh? That sounds interesting.”

“It was the whole reason I got interested in studying magic. I remember that one day some people came into the bakery, talking about transitional magic. I knew then already that I wanted to do something about my body. The dysphoria was… difficult. So I looked into having someone do the spell for me, but even the cheapest of mages charged far too much for my dad or me to afford. So I took matters into my own hands and decided I would learn magic myself and help others like me to be comfortable in their own skin.”

“That’s a noble cause. It’s almost like what I wanted to do with having a magic school.”

“Oh?”

“I always felt like it was unfair that so many people missed out on the chance to use magic. Being half-fae, I was surrounded by it for my entire life. The council keeps track of who can use magic and is worthy of using it, but the only people able to use it are the rich nobles with all the access to tutors and stuff. It’s like having only certain men be knights, instead of allowing anyone who wants to fight to take up arms. There are so many people out there with the potential to be great, but because of how they were born, they will never have a chance to reach that potential.”

“You care a lot about people.”

“So do you.”

“I suppose that’s a good thing.”

The two sat silently as they ate, but the silence between them felt comfortable. However, Logan found himself once again questioning what he felt towards Virgil, whenever he glanced over at him. His heart seemed to both beat faster and sometimes skip beats altogether. Especially since they were sitting so close together at the moment. They were so close that their knees kept on brushing against each other.

"Uh, Logan?"

"Yes?"

Virgil tugged at his cape's hood. "Can I… ask you an important question?"

Logan tilted his head to the side curiously. "Sure."

"W-"

“Hey, do you two want seconds?” Remus yelled, interrupting the boy’s conversation. “Or can I have the rest?”

“Remus, if you eat all that you’ll get a stomach ache,” Patton warned.

Ignoring his boyfriend’s worry, Remus asked, “Who bets I can finish this in five minutes?”

“You’re an idiot,” Janus stated blankly.

“And a coward. Aim for three!” Roman encouraged.

Logan shook his head. “Well, hopefully, Remus’s antics are the worst things we’ll have to worry about.”

Virgil shrugged. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

---

The next morning, after an unpleasant wake-up call from Roman screaming, because Remus had drenched him in water, everyone got up and continued their trek to the cave where the special fruit Remy wanted, grew. Janus and Roman were taking the lead, bickering about something between themselves, with Willow, Remus and Patton walking close behind them, and Virgil and Logan tailing everyone. Willow and Remus would dash away from the group every now and again to grab flowers for Patton so that he could make them all flower crowns. Which was hard to do while walking but he seemed to be managing.

Logan noted that Virgil still seemed very tired. “Not a morning person?”

“Does staying up until five am count?”

“Wh- no! That’s actually a bit concerning. Please don’t tell me you were up until five then only slept two hours before we started walking.”

“I won’t tell you that then.”

“You need sleep, Virgil.”

“I’ll be fine. I have a bit of midnight elixir from Remy that should wake me up.”

Logan shook his head. “What on earth kept you up so late?”

Virgil shrugged. “Thoughts. My mind was feeling really busy last night. Thinking about… everything.”

“Are you worried about what’s going to happen when…” Logan trailed off.

“Kind of, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. After all, I’ve got both my parents to support me through it. Plus all of you… if the others are as accepting as you.”

“Your race won’t change how they see you, Virgil.”

“You can’t know for sure.”

“Perhaps it’s not a guarantee but the chance of them being loyal is infinitesimal.”

“So small.”

“What, no. That would be the chance of them rejecting you.”

“Then why would you say infinitesimal? It means extremely small.”

“Wait, what?”

“Y-yeah… Logan, did you not know what infinitesimal meant?”

“…”

“Oh my gods, you didn’t.”

“Don’t laugh at me! I don’t know everything and that’s perfectly normal.”

“Well, yeah, but you’re like a super genius.”

“You think I’m a genius.”

“Of course. You’ve proved it time and time again. You’re incredibly smart. In fact, the chances of you not knowing something are… infinitesimal.”

Logan glared. “How dare you use a compliment to tease me, you… sparkly-eyed jerk.”

“My eyes sparkle?”

“When you’re happy, yeah. They look kind of like stars.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you were such a romantic.”

Logan froze. “I didn’t mean to cross any boundaries-”

“You can say I have nice eyes, L. I only meant the poetic kind of romantic. I’m sure you weren’t trying to flirt. Unless you were?”

“I- uh, no. I mean you are quite attractive and I-” Logan stopped himself before he could accidentally confess anything more.

“So you do think I’m attractive at least.”

“...Yes.”

“Well, thanks. I feel the same way about you.”

Logan blushed. “O-oh… thank you...”

The rest of the walk was silent as Logan tried to calm his heart rate down. He was concerned with how fast it was going considering the casual pace they were travelling at. Subconsciously though, he knew that it was what Virgil had said that made him feel like this. He could pretend all he wanted, that there was something else wrong, but he knew that the cause of all this was his feelings towards a certain grey-eyed boy.

The fact that they had almost just flirted with each other was really not helping him. Especially since he wanted so badly to actually flirt with him. He wasn’t exactly sure of his full attraction to Virgil but he liked the idea of flirting with him. Exchanging compliments and maybe holding hands or even… kissing him? That idea made his heart skip a beat.

So basically he was having a gay panic all the way up to the cave. The one thing that distracted him from completely freezing was looking at his surroundings and categorizing all the plants he saw. Beside the cave entrance, he noted there were some berry bushes growing. Then, he saw a pebble fall from above the entrance and glanced up to see what had pushed it.

Time seemed to slow down when Logan saw the boulder perched there. It looked like it was about to fall and crush Virgil, Patton and him before they got into the cave. He grabbed Virgil’s wrist and pushed Patton ahead of them as quickly as possible to get inside of the cave before the boulder came tumbling down with a bunch of other large rocks that now sealed the entrance.

“Holy- are you guys okay?!” Willow asked.

“Pat!” Remus ran to Patton’s side immediately and helped him up.

“I’m okay, I’m okay. Logan saved us.”

Virgil stared wide-eyed at the rocks. "By Ysla’s bow, that was close. Are you alright, Logan?”

“I’m fine. Just glad I saw what was going to happen before we got squished.”

“How the hel did that even happen? There’s no way that was a coincidence,” Janus commented.

“Well, I don’t know what else it could have been. Maybe that was the big trouble that Remy was worried we’d get into,” Roman said.

“Good thing we have the porthole spell to get home then. I don’t think that there’s any way we could get back through here without it taking half an eternity,” Willow declared.

After that scare, the group continued on deeper into the cave. They knew the tree grew in a central chamber surrounded by glowing moss. There was some of this glowing moss on the walls, illuminating their path so they didn’t have to use a light spell or anything.

Soon enough, they reached the chamber. From there they just had to get the fruit from the tree, make a porthole, and go home for their after party. Except there was one problem.

A giant mole.

“I think we’re cursed.”

---

A/N: thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this. I'll be posting two chapters a day until the full fic is up, so if you want to be tagged, you can just ask.

I'd love to hear what you thought about the chapter if you wouldn't mind commenting. Thanks again for reading! Here's hoping you have a magical day 💜

[fanfic-scribbles]

My 2020 Tumblr Top 10

I did this last year and thought it would be fun to do it again this year. Happy new year, and may 2021 treat us all a little bit better.

~

1). 220 notes - Mar 8 2020

Gremlins – Bucky/Steve/Reader

This is a new shirt.

Bucky really likes it.

It, too, is gone.

“What the fuck,” Bucky says and flings the not-favorite shirt across the room. It lands with a ‘thud!’

And an “Mm!”

He whips his head around and sees you peeling the shirt off your face. You give it a once-over and then turn a wry smile at him. “At least it’s clean.”

You hand it back and look over the small piles of clothing scattered across the bedroom floor. “What’s going on? Is that shirt still missing?”

“Four shirts,” Bucky grumps and flings the one he’s holding down to the floor. He rests his forehead on your shoulder and sighs. “I don’t know what the hell I did with them.”

He expects comfort, but the way your body tenses is…confusing. At first he thinks he’s heavy or has somehow made you physically uncomfortable, but before he can pull away you rub his shoulders and absolutely every aspect of that motion feels awkward.

And when you say, “I’m sure they’ll turn up eventually,” he knows you’re hiding something. He just doesn’t know what.

Or why.

2). 167 notes - Jun 19 2020

Life of the Party – Bucky Barnes/Reader

“Don’t relax; we’re not safe yet.”

You don’t even realize it at first; you’re so fucking done with the whole damn day you just roll your eyes and say, “Boy, you’re a real party, huh?”

He freezes in the middle of loading a gun and you gasp when you realize when he just said. Well shit.

“You know,” you chuckle, because what is your life right now, “–I thought we’d be in the middle of pulling off a prank or something. Not, you know, a war zone.”

He shakes his head. “I didn’t…think of it,” he says, then flinches and looks at you, brows creased in worry. Or is that aggravation? No, that looks like worry.

“Cool,” you say and smile at your soulmate. “I have no expectations to live up to. That’s nice.”

The lines in his face soften. He raises one eyebrow. “What expectations do I have to live up to?”

You run your hand over your arm absently, though the words are covered by a jacket. His eyes flick there and linger. “Well, I always thought you were a troublemaker,” you say lightly. “But here you are, saving my life.”

3). 72 notes - Sep 20 2020

Marry Me – [established] Steve Rogers/Reader and [past/future?] Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes

A hand sets on your shoulder and you flinch. “Sorry,” the voice says. He sounds gentle, so you look up with a cautious sense of hope.

You gasp at who it is. “Bucky?”

His smile is pained, but he holds out his hand and helps you up. “I guess Steve told you at least some of it.” He looks back and frowns, then faces you. “I’m sorry but we’ve gotta go.”

“I should call Steve,” you say and pull out your phone.

“No. In fact–” Bucky snatches it from you and tosses it into a nearby garbage bin. You barely get out an offended yelp before he’s dragging you along.

“They’re tracking it,” Bucky says, speeding up. “And they’ll be back soon.”

You get to a motorcycle and Bucky grabs a helmet and holds it out towards you. “I know Steve doesn’t have a lot of reasons to trust me right now, but please. I want to help.”

You take the helmet, because you trust the latter sentence. And it’s not his fault he’s wrong about the former. You think you’re the only one who actually knows why.

4). 67 notes - Jan 5 2020

Dinner Date: Chapter Two – Steve Rogers/Reader

“Hi lovebirds.”

I jolted back from the table as someone– two someones– slid into the empty chairs on our sides. It was just Clint and Natasha, but they looked shockingly normal and well-matched. Clint looked nice, like a normal person and not an absolute disaster, while Natasha seemed mildly dressed down in an obviously well-loved jacket and muted colors.

“Is your hat a polar bear?” I asked, staring at her beanie. It had little ears and everything. “That is so fucking cute.”

“Thanks,” she said and pulled over a menu from the little stand in the center of the table.

Steve cleared his throat. “Natasha. Clint. What are you doing here?”

“Looking into a new lunch place,” Natasha said, not even looking at him. “It’s a free country, Steve.”

“Then maybe you can get your own table, Natasha.”

I had no idea what the hostility was all about but Clint started picking at Steve’s plate, distracting him long enough for Natasha to lean closer to me and say my name. “So you’re making an honest man out of our captain?” she said.

“Oh my god Natasha.” Steve was so red I practically had to smother myself to keep from laughing. “We talked about this!”

“We did,” she agreed easily but angled her body towards me. Something about her face made it easy for me to stop laughing. “You said I couldn’t talk to her while she was on her own. So now you get to be present for it.”

At first I couldn’t fathom what ‘it’ was, until I took in Steve’s face (a mixture of annoyed and concerned), Natasha’s body language (very business-like), what Natasha had said (about making an “honest man” out of Steve), and added it all together.

“Is it shovel-talk time?” I asked in wonder.

5). 62 notes - Jan 28 2020

A Little Pickle – Gabriel/Reader

“Gabe.”

“I’m just saying– we have to wait for our heroic rescuers anyway, so why not have a little fun in the meantime?”

“Gabriel.”

“Oh no. Full name.”

“Oh yeah full name. However, ‘on the bright side,’ I now have one whole bar of cell service and I’m sending a text out.”

“Don’t you want to wait?”

“No. Oh look, it just went through.”

“Shit.”

6). 60 notes - Nov 11 2020

Dinner Date Chapter 12 – Steve Rogers/Reader

He didn’t say anything at first. He turned slightly to wrap both arms around me in a hug. “You’ll always be safe with me,” he murmured and squeezed momentarily. “I can promise that.”

“I believe you. I trust you, so much,” I said. I kissed his shoulder. “Thank you. For staying with me, and not going after him– even though I know you probably wanted to.”

“I did,” he admitted. “But I wanted to make sure you were okay more.”

I took a satisfyingly deep breath. Sleep was pulling hard. “You’re the best.”

“And you’re soft,” he said and gave me a gentle kiss. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell.”

“I know.” I smiled and let my body relax fully at last. “I trust you.”

7). 58 notes - Dec 22 2020

Supernatural Fic Masterlist

8). 52 notes - May 15 2020

Dinner Date Chapter Seven – Steve Rogers/Reader

“Hello Natasha,” I said to the woman looking intently through my cupboards. I had a bunch of questions: ‘what are you looking for,’ ‘do you think I keep a safe in there,’ ‘your hair looks very bouncy today are you going somewhere nice,’ and, my personal favorite, “How did you get in my apartment?”

“Trade secret,” she said and shook a half-empty box of cereal. Okay, by the sound of it there was a lot less than half. “Do you not have any real food?”

9). 49 notes - Feb 27 2020

Dinner Date Chapter Five – Steve Rogers/Reader

“I’m sorry,” I said, still buried in his shirt. “It was really nice.”

“It was.”

“I’m sorry I fucked it up.”

“You didn’t fuck anything up,” he said, too quickly.

“I did; I just got…overwhelmed, I guess?” I lifted my head for a moment, barely caught a glimpse of his expression, and then immediately shoved my face back in his chest. “That sounds stupid; forget I said anything.”

He shook with quiet laughter and I grumbled, “Shut up or I’ll pinch your tit.”

“Don’t move too fast for me sweetheart,” he said and, damn it, that made me laugh. He cleared his throat and said, “Would it make you feel any better to know you weren’t the only one feeling overwhelmed?”

10). 48 notes - Feb 11 2020

Dinner Date Chapter Four – Steve Rogers/Reader

“What time is it?” I asked, already sinking into a measure of comfort. At last.

“Almost midnight,” Steve said, sitting next to me. He handed me the cow, which was nice, but…

“It’s late,” I said and looked at him. “Do you want to stay tonight?” Wait, that was terrible, I was gross. “You can have the bed, if you want; I can take the cou–”

I didn’t even get up on my elbows before Steve lay down, wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me into him. I snuggled even closer and he flicked off the bedside light.

“You know if you wanted me to stay you could just say so?” he chuckled in the warm dark.

“It seemed rude to assume you’d want to,” I said and shut my eyes. “You’ve been so good to me. I don’t want to…take advantage.”

“I don’t mind,” he said softly, running his hand up and down my back. “I hated being sick. I like being able to help.”

“Mmm.” I started drifting off. “Did you have someone to take care of you?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, a little sadly. “My ma was busy a lot but she always did what she could. Bucky took over the job. He was even stricter than she was.”

“Good,” I said. “You would need someone to browbeat you into bed.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I really did,” he said fondly. “But you couldn’t blame me. God; the home remedies we had…”

“Don’t give me nightmares,” I said without meaning it.

“All right,” he whispered, a smile in his voice. “Go to sleep, sweetheart. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

Created by TumblrTop10

[missjanjie]

Take Me Back to the Start | (10/10)

Title: Take Me Back to the Start Summary:   Everyone remembers their first love. Not everyone carries those feelings from childhood to senior year. Yet Brock is starting his last year of high school while still longing for the relationship he lost five years ago. Meanwhile, José is at the top of the food chain and seems to have it all together. But maybe their story isn’t over yet. Word Count: ~3k (this chapter) / ~31.4k (total) Relationship(s): Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo), Sportsdoll (Jan Sport/Nicky Doll) Rating: E

read on ao3 | ko-fi

Brock stared at himself in the vanity mirror. He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, maybe a sudden burst of energy, of enthusiasm, something to alleviate the knot of anxiety in his stomach.

Then José walked in with timing so perfect, Brock momentarily wondered if the universe had literally answered his prayers. “You ready for this, big guy?” he asked, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“As I’ll ever be,” he replied, placing his hand on top of José’s for a moment, then turned to face him. “But now I’ve got my good luck charm.” His tone brightened up as his arms looped around his boyfriend’s waist.

“Who, me?” José batted his lashes innocently, then let out a laugh louder than he intended, needing to clap his hand over his mouth. “You don’t need luck, but I’m glad to give you a boost,” he told him, kissing his temple.

Brock grinned fondly. “I always need you, baby,” he cooed sweetly. “You need to go take a seat though, I’m up any minute now,” he said, sharing a quick kiss before José left to take his seat in the audience.

The performance itself was a bit of a blur for Brock. He knew he was nailing every move (or at least hoped he was), but it didn’t feel like he was on stage. It was calm, like he was alone in the studio, headphones in and the world tuned out. This was his zen, his happy place. It was one of the only things in his life that he was unequivocally confident in, for better or for worse.

And when he was done, he still had a rush of endorphins washing over him. Brock had never quite understood what people meant when they described something as ‘as good as sex,’ but he could now comfortably admit that while sex won out, this was definitely close.

He went to the bathroom, splashed some water on his face, and looked at himself in the mirror. That was it. It was over. Win, lose, or draw, there was nothing he could do to change the impending outcome. And waiting was the hardest part.

“All competitors please return to the stage.”

The loudspeaker announcement was repeated a couple more times as the dancers made their way back to the stage. Everyone was full of the same nerves and anticipation, but Brock could hardly focus on anything, even when awards were being given out. All he could focus on were people moving across the stage to get their awards.

“And first place overall goes to…”

Brock had already come to terms with not placing. All the confidence he’d had during his performance had inexplicably dissipated. He was practicing his ‘I’m okay, I just need to try harder next time’ speech in his mind. He could get over this, it wasn’t the end of the world, he just–

“Brock Hayhoe!”

Nothing had ever snapped him back into reality faster. He nearly tripped over himself as he walked up to get his trophy, beaming broadly. Now, he was wondering why he’d doubted himself at all. He hadn’t been delusional during his performance, it was a culmination of everything he had been working for. He deserved this, and damn it, he was going to enjoy his moment.

And when he was finally allowed offstage, Brock ran right to where his mom, coach, and José were waiting. The only thing better than having this moment was sharing it with the people he loved. “We did it!”

“You did it.” Anna smiled with pride. “You’re the one that put in all the effort and hard work. We helped along the way.”

“And I couldn’t have done it without that help,” he replied as a compromise. He was too elated to argue, and moved right on, giving them all a hug, and José a big kiss on the lips.

“Let me see this shiny prize.” José grinned, picking up the trophy. “It’s gonna fit real nice in that spot you got saved for it,” he mused. “You sure as hell earned it.”

Brock chuckled softly, leaning down and kissing his cheek. “I told you, you’re my good luck charm.”

José grinned as he pulled his jacket on and handed Brock his. “The argument’s getting pretty compelling, I’ma give you that,” he admitted, leaning into his boyfriend’s side when the taller teen wrapped his arm around him, and stayed close as they made their way into the parking lot and said their goodbyes to Anna.

------

Brock had been riding the high of winning the competition well through Thanksgiving and into early December. He was finally able to quell the harsh voices in his mind that filled him with doubt and anxiety. Every time he looked at that trophy, front and center on his shelf, he was reminded that finally, everything was paying off just as he’d hoped.

And José’s voice was louder than all of those negative ones anyway. The two of them remained nearly inseparable, both of them watching TV in Brock’s room when suddenly, Joan called them downstairs. They jumped up and raced down – she was clearly either excited or concerned based on her high-pitched tone.

“What’s going on?” Brock asked.

She handed a large envelope to him. “You have mail.”

“It’s from the Boston Conservatory,” he read, his voice suddenly hushed. “I applied for an early decision,” he explained to José. His logic had been that he would only do that for his top choice. That way, if he got in, he got the decision making out of the way early, and if he didn’t, he would have more time to work on a new plan.

“It’s big, that’s a good sign,” José offered.

“You think anything big is a good sign,” Brock retorted, making sure he whispered soft enough for his mom not to hear. With a deep breath, he opened the letter, but closed his eyes as he took the piece of paper in the front out. He kept his eyes shut for another moment before finally reading his fate. “I… I got in,” he said before it really hit. “I got in!”

“You got in!” José was much louder, hugging him tightly.

Joan put her hand over her heart as she looked on with pride. “I can’t believe you’re moving across the country, I’m so proud of you. Oh, I’ve got to go call your grandmother,” she remarked gleefully as she went into the other room.

But José’s enthusiasm started to die down. “You’re moving across the country?”

“Well, yeah, that’s where Massachusetts is,” he explained as they went back to his room and sat down on his bed.

José shook his hands out and tried to hype himself back up. This was Brock’s moment, he wasn’t going to ruin it over those details. “Cool, yeah. I’m happy for you. I knew you was gonna get into a good school.”

“José, I…”

He shook his head, already feeling guilty because Brock didn’t sound so excited anymore. “No, no, we ain’t doing this right now. We’re celebrating you. Because I’m happy for you.” His voice eased from defensive to sincere, his expression softening. “Because I love you.”

Brock’s expression relaxed into a smile. “I love you too.” He took both of José’s hands into his own. “And we’re gonna celebrate, okay? We’ll go out for dinner, see if we can convince my mom to let us have some champagne.” He started to kiss along his jawline as he spoke. “Then we’ll come back here and celebrate in our own way.”

José didn’t mean to laugh, but he thought it was cute how Brock was just trying to distract him. And he let it work, he had no reason not to. He knew they would have to sit and talk about their feelings eventually, but that could wait. Maybe if he waited long enough, Brock would forget about it entirely.

------

Brock sighed, strumming his fingers against the table and sipping his iced coffee. If there was one thing he needed, it was to talk to his friends, especially since Courtney and Steve had been on this relationship journey with him from the beginning. “I just feel bad, you know. I get how he feels, getting into this school is everything to me, but up until that, he was everything to me. I just don’t know where to go from here.”

Courtney frowned and scooted her chair closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re still gonna go, aren’t you?”

“Of course, that’s not even a question.”

“Good,” Steve chimed in, “because we were both ready to kick your ass all the way from here to Boston.”

Courtney nodded in agreement, but quickly went back to being concerned. “Have you guys talked about it yet?”

“Not yet,” Brock told her. “I will, I promise. We just both kind of came to the conclusion that we didn’t want to let that sour the mood. He knows I know that something wasn’t right, and that we have to work things out. But I have faith, I’m not too worried.”

His friends nodded in understanding; even if they wouldn’t outright say it, they had become invested in the final outcome as well. “When are you seeing him next?” Steve asked.

Brock glanced out the door of the Starbucks. “I’m actually going right to his place from here, wish me luck.” He hugged both his friends before he got up. “Oh, wait,” he paused, texting José, then getting back in line shortly after.

So the first thing he did when José let him inside was hand him his coffee. “See? I told you I knew what your usual was.”

José took a sip, then gave a signal of approval. “You did good, baby. You did good.” He gestured to him to follow upstairs and they went into his bedroom. He sat cross-legged on his bed and looked up at Brock expectantly. He knew what was coming, neither of them said so, but it was a gut feeling.

And Brock knew exactly what José was thinking, so he saw no need to beat around the bush. He spun the desk chair around so when he sat, they were face-to-face. And with a deep exhale, he ripped the bandage off. “I know you’re upset that I’m going so far away. Let’s talk about it.”

He didn’t think he would ever get used to how comfortable Brock was with being blunt with him. It was a relatively new development, considering how long they had spent dancing around their feelings. It was jarring – he was usually the one to take the ‘no bullshit’ approach. “With you bein’ all the way across the country without me aren’t you gonna forget about me? What’s gonna stop you from moving on?”

Brock frowned, the sadness in his boyfriend’s eyes absolutely crushed him. “I couldn’t forget about you if I tried, and believe me I’ve tried. In case you’ve forgotten, I couldn’t forget about my feelings for you after five years, I think I can make it a few months at a time.”

“It’s different, B,” José insisted. “We still saw each other almost every day, even though we didn’t talk. When you’re in Boston, you’re gonna meet all kinds of cool East Coast people… maybe you won’t need me anymore.”

“Oh, baby…” Brock frowned and cupped his boyfriend’s face. “I don’t think you understand just how incredible and unique you are. I could travel across the whole world, meet new people every day, and I know for a fact that no one will ever hold a candle to you. You are so special, you always have been.” He placed a kiss to his forehead before pulling back. “Do you have a college plan yet?”

José looked down and away, shaking his head. “I dunno if I’m the college type, boo. Maybe community college. My mama wants me to go to a trade school, learn some practical shit like plumbing or welding or whatever.”

“And those are both great options if that’s what you want to do,” Brock assured, then paused. “What do you wanna do?”

He laughed humorlessly, chewing on his lip. “You really wanna know?”

“Of course.”

“I wanna go to beauty school.” It was the first time he had actually said it out loud, but if José could confide in anyone, he knew it would be his boyfriend. “You know, do hair and makeup and all that… but it ain’t easy to make a living off of that.”

Brock moved to sit next to him on the bed. “If that’s what you’re passionate about, that’s what you have to do. If you want to be a makeup artist, I know you’re gonna be the best makeup artist around. You always give your all with everything you’re passionate about.”

José looked at him with a soft smile and a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “You think so? ‘Cause, I mean, I could look for schools out there, don’t really matter what state I get licensed in.”

“Now we’re talking,” he encouraged. “We could get an apartment together, it’ll be cheaper than room and board. I mean, it’s a big step, but…”

“No, wait, I like the sound of that,” José brightened up. “You and me in our own little place, being all domestic and shit… That’s real cute, I see that for us.”

Brock wrapped an arm around him and kissed the top of his head. “You don’t have to commit to anything yet. You’ve got plenty of time, but now you know that you’ve got options, that we can make it work.” He ran his fingers gently through José’s hair. “And if you decide you don’t wanna make that move, we’ll do the long distance thing. We’ll have phone calls and FaceTime, we’ll be able to meet up at every break.”

José tossed his now-empty cup in the trash and laid down, tugging on Brock to join him and cuddling into his side. “Truth is, I don’t see any future without you in it. I know we haven’t been back together all that long, but… I dunno, I just know, you know?”

“I know.” He chuckled lightly. “I feel that too. Like… it feels fast, but fast is the right speed.”

“Could be ‘cause we already put in four years of work,” José mused. “You know, built the foundation.”

Brock held José close and kissed his forehead. “We have a great foundation. Sturdy,” he hummed.

------

José let out a frustrated huff. “Will you fucking hold still?”

“I’m trying!” Brock insisted. “I’m not used to things poking me in the eye like that,” he whined, doing his best to keep his face and body still so José could keep going.

And he did appreciate the effort, holding Brock’s head steady with one hand while he continued the eye makeup with the other. He had already come far too close to completely messing up the eye, and he wasn’t about to risk anything now that he was so close to getting this second eye. “Oooh shit, this is looking real pretty. Definitely the best eye look so far.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” Brock hummed.

“You’re gonna love it. Now shut up so I can do your lips,” José said as he set the brush and palette down and picked up the lip liner. “I’ma try to overline it again, I watched more tutorials so I think I can get it right this time.”

Brock didn’t want to disrupt him again, so he just stayed completely still while José continued with his masterpiece.

“Okay, just needs setting spray and it’s done,” José announced, spritzing over his boyfriend’s face, then taking a step back to admire his handiwork. “And that’s it, go on and take a look.”

Brock opened his eyes right away and looked in the mirror. “Oh wow, babe, this came out so good,” he beamed brightly. “I am so impressed, you’re really getting better each time.”

“Good, gotta build up that portfolio,” he hummed, grabbing his phone. “Alright, look at me and give me fashion.”

“Fashion, got it,” he giggled, then did his best to give a ‘model’ pose while José took pictures.

José gave a nod of approval when he decided he’d gotten enough options. “I think that’s a wrap,” he hummed. “You’ll help me pick which ones to send to Courtney, right?” After Brock had explained José’s new endeavor to his friend, she had offered to edit them to enhance his portfolio even more. So far, he had built up a decent repertoire, as he was lucky enough to have plenty of friends – and a very supportive and patient boyfriend – that were happy to be painted by him.

“Of course. I say we pick a top three at most, that should be enough to work with,” Brock suggested as he got up. He wrapped his arms around José’s waist. “I am so proud of you, you’ve really dove into this, and any cosmetology school is gonna be lucky to have you.”

“Couldn’t have done it without you,” José beamed. “Literally, couldn’t afford all this fuckin’ makeup on my own,” he teased, then looked up at him sincerely. “No, but really, thank you for believing in me, I knew you had to be the first person I told for a reason.”

Brock ruffled José’s hair lightly. “There should never be any doubt in your mind that I believe in you more than anything. You’ve supported me through so much when it comes to my dreams, now, I’m just happy I get to do the same for you.”

José leaned his head against Brock’s chest, holding him close. “We make a good team, don’t we? Hopefully we can keep being a good team in Boston.”

“Don’t worry, babe,” Brock smiled, rubbing his boyfriend’s back, “even if we can’t, it’ll take a lot more than three thousand miles to break up this team.”

[vczxcxx]

Dwangela

When I watched the office I expect myself to fall in love with Pam/Jim dynamic but I fell in love with Dwight/ Angela dynamic.

I don’t know it’s just something in their chemistry, the slow-burn, the angst and the frustration made me root for them till the end. Kudos to Rainn Wilson and Angela Kinsey for playing them so well. I mean Angela is the complete opposite of Angela( if you listen to podcast of her and Jenna and interviews). With Rainn, he gives a bit of Dwight vibes but still different from him. Overall, Dwight and Angela is so different and the same time fits so well together. They are both miserable without each other but wouldn’t admit it. I am also a sucker for smol-tol couples. I mean Angela’s height barely reach Dwight’s shoulder and that’s with shoes.

Season 2- I presume that’s when their relationship starts? I love their little long glances here and there. And the sexual tension🔥kudos to Rainn and Angela for playing it so well. I really love the moment where Angela gave the bobble head to Dwight and you could see the genuine bliss from his face, and him asking Pam for gifts ideas is just so adorable. I love from here on you could see that Dwight is such an odd character with weird personalities but he treat Angela like a gentleman, respects her and clearly adore her. I also love how Angela is so supportive of her boyfriend especially the episode where Dwight was the best sales man.

Season 3- This season we get to see more of their relationship. I personally love the Christmas episode where Dwight was comforting Angela after the day she had: that little handholding again proves that Dwight is a loving and supportive boyfriend and also we got to hear their nickname to each other. I love how Dwight called her monkey and how Angela called him D so affectionately. I have a little theory of where the nickname derived from; maybe it’s like a code name for each other cause in a deleted scene in the episode where they go meet Jim in the convention, Dwight was calling Angela in front of Michael; and he was using her nickname. Or maybe when she was staying over, there was a high shelf that she could not reach so she climbed around since she did not want to ask for help, and Dwight was witnessing it quietly, thus decided to call her that. Of course, at first Angela would not agree to be call an animal but secretly she likes it because it’s their little secret. Then the convict episode, they decided to sit together as most of the episode prior to this episode you never seen them sitting together just glances here and there. I also liked Dwight’s iconic smirk, that lil smirk they he puts whenever it involves his lady friend. There are so many more that I love.

Season 4&5- for me these 2 season is filled with angst and made me feel sorry for Dwight. The first episode of season 4 started well with their secret gate away place with Angela asking Dwight to take care of sprinkles but Dwight has to mercy kill sprinkles: it’s cruel and inhuman, I understand and feel sad for Angela, it’s one of her first cat that she adopted and it meant a lot to her. She thought Dwight would understand but he went and kill her cat and the part where he wanted to compensate her with garbage; that was so cute but was hoping Dwight would understand that no cat will fill sprinkles gap but still the image of Dwight and the cat; just cute. I think they would gotten back together much faster if they communicate sooner. My heart breaks for both of them but my heart breaks more when Angela started to date Andy. Personally, they are the weirdest couple combination(even worse than jan/ Michael). Dwight proving that he could win against the computer is so Dwight if winning back your lady friend; and Angela not having any of it makes my heart ache for Dwight. And the part where Angela agrees on going out with him:( I just feel like Rainn did such a good job portraying. I feel like the whole season 4 is the phase where Dwight tried to move on but fail( again foreshadowing that they belong together). But they eventually got back together I guess during the episode where nobody was in the office except them. Again their sexual tension filled up the whole office and you can literally feel it( foreshadowing that they are going to get it on in the finale of season 4(?)) in season 5 we open with them getting it on in the warehouse( indication been going on since the summer). Now Cheating is bad and immoral, it would be better that would have communicate, and again I think it’s both their fault. I think Dwight was desperate in any means to be together with Angela because of how he loves her. His love for her burns with a passion so much that he would do anything just to be with her. And I feel like Angela was just meh just contemplating if she wants to take the risk( of being with the one she loves) or some one more safe and stable( Andy). She’s conflicted and at the same time has a lot of pride. Personally, at this point I hated how she handled the situation leading them on. During the duel episode I am kinda glad they both left her. I think at that point she realised how she should have thought it through with the men in her life; being greedy and holding on will make you lose both of them. And I guess they didn’t talk for the rest of the season after that. But we didn’t see Angela’s side of the relationship but it was disclosed in the deleted scenes with the volleyball episode where Dwight defended her; you can see that she has remorse and regret with what she did; clearly she still has feelings for him.

Season 6&7- with season 6, Dwight’s love for Angela is still there but this time he is more guarded and not as reckless as season 4-5 because this woman that he loves hurt him and he’s not sure if he’s willing to go through it again. The episode where he wanted a baby; he asked Angela of all the people indicate that he still thinks highly of her. Of course with how their dynamic is, they have a Contract to go with it; and Angela was hoping that Dwight would fall in love with her again in the baby making process. And Dwight got reluctant as they got through the baby making process. He feel more guarded and reluctant but Angela refused to let it go( her way of wanting to get back in any means(?)) so she found a loophole in the contract and wanted them to procreate for 5 more times expecting Dwight to fall in love with her again. Of course that didn’t work because Dwight seem uninterested to get back to her; so eventually she tries to move on with the senator. I think Dwight wanted to be more alert and not throw himself to love unguarded and with passion. I understand that from what he experienced he wanted to love more cautiously.

Season 8-season 8( we are nearly there), Angela is engaged to the senator. Still she cheated the senator with Dwight. Again they always seem to finds way to get back in any means. Again, Dwight is willing to let this affair happen because he still loves her but not like how he used to love her but regardless still love her so he decided to sleep with her. When Philip was born, you can see the elation in Dwight’s face and how he is certain the boy is his and how he still believed till the end of the season. I don’t understand why Angela still wanted kept the truth from him ( maybe to stretch out their relationship( writers idea?)) maybe of her pride and that she did not want to be an embarrassment?

Season 9- the season starts with the paternity test being negative dun dun dun. But I am still convince that Philip is his( as a Viewer anyway). And we get to the episode where the senator is revealed as being gay and Oscar is cheating with the senator. I love how the first person she seeks is Dwight and how Dwight misunderstand the situation😂. He still wants to help her despite everything, and comforted her. The end part of the episode just sends me when they ask tony about homosexuals. I think at this point you can see their relationship continues to heal and reconcile by means of being a proper friendship. I personally love it when during the Christmas episode, Dwight decided to just whip Oscar dying the bershnike part and he did a little glance to Angela . In 9x16, when they were both taking care of his aunt; I guess that is the only time we get to see glimpses on how Angela was when he was dating him( when she was staying over in the farm). And we could see Dwight’s love for her rekindle more; and with the timing and everything with the senator he jumped the opportunity by kissing her and declare that he wanted her back in her life, how they were meant together( that was the sweetest part). Interestingly the slaughter house turns them on😂. I love at this point Dwight put everything on the table and lay out his love for her, but as stubborn and prideful Angela is, she rejected him( i want to make more in-depth writing in this with the what ifs if Angela does swallow her pride and decided to get back to him). And we get to the few episode where Angela’s life when downhill when the senator reveal himself and also apparently cheated on Oscar; it takes a crisis in her life to become a better person like appreciating things around her, the thing she lost( I.e Dwight). I really love the part where Oscar and Angela supported each other, and the hand holding is just shows their evolved friendship. I also love the part where Angela pour her heart out infornt of Oscar. I think the Esther and Dwight dynamic; is a way that Dwight wanting to move on but can’t( with Esther being perfect on paper). Lastly the episode where Philip was in( he’s so cute and he’s look just like Dwight), the inner dilemma that he faces to propose to esther; and the speech that Jim gave to Dwight is just shows even they are frenemies they still have the utmost respect between them. The proposal scene is one of my fav scene in season 9. It’s just so them( I mean even with their last season ended with a car chase) it’s just so dramatic and them. I can imagine what Philip and their other kids would have to face with their parents. That was my finally moment, where I was like finally they admit their feelings🥺. I was literally cheering and screaming. I love the pure elation with Dwight’s face when Angela Said I love you; I always liked the little smile and the smiles where she’s around Dwight. She so beautiful when she smiles. The part with Philip is so I just was so happy. In the finale, the wedding is just so then weird but perfect. I wish they include the part where Dwight made Oscar the godfather.

Overall, I just love them so much; they were such a rollercoaster and I am glad they lived happily ever after with Schrute babies running around. They were also one of my otp who got together after a long time( most of my OTP didn’t make it :,(). I just wished we see more of it after the proposal scene with that 1 year time skip and personally I think we would see more of their relationship if they got back together in 9x16. Really bravo to Angela and Rainn for playing them so well.

[audiovisualrecall]

Still wanna draw/write the story of shellheart and goldenstar

Also. Really wanna add some late 616 flavor drama wherein the trust between them is broken, Steve thinks Tony betrayed him/turned traitor, that hes plotting against him and intending to take over the clan, that Tony never actually cared about him, that Tony has been lying to him...meanwhile tony is like, trying to save the clan or something, but he cant tell Steve, thinks he has to go it alone. And it almost tears the clans apart.

Maybe some dark forest type thing? Tony is invited in bc...some of the df cats are dumb and really think hes like them just bc he would do anything to save/protect Steve doesnt mean hes actually vicious like them. But semantics. Anyway so hes invited in and hes abt to be like wtf fuck off, except he overhears something, a plot, and decides to go undercover a-la ivypool.

But somehow or other Steve finds out Tony has been visiting the df while seemingly pretending to be on his side, talking about building birdclan to it's best, and watching snakeclan grow strong, etc. So Steve immediately leaps to the wrong conclusion because uhhh recently they had a fight abt some bad cats they exiled bc Tony thought they were too dangerous to just exile and Steve wouldnt hear of killing them of course, and they were too dangerous to keep in the camp. Anyway so their relationship is already kn the rocks when Steve hears and decides Tony is betraying him.

And tony is hurt not only at that, but that his clan sides against him except for like, rhodey, pepper, Carol, and jan. Thor, hank, luke, jess, and peter even, among others, trust Steve's judgement and distrust Tony. But they have real traitors in their midst, who've also been training in the df, but no one will hear him out, Steve wont listen to him in private and he cant admit hes been spyinf in front of the real traitors or call them out. Idk if Steve makes him leave the clan, or if he let's him stay but makes it clear hes not trusted and has like, guards or something. Anyway so Tony is just. Crying internally and drawing hearts on glass in his mind but hes still going to save Steve and his clan.

His friends are hesitant to spend time w him except for like, Jan or carol and rhodey maybe. They want to believe the best of him, that it's not true, but Tony doesnt outright deny hes been visiting the df bc he wants to keep his cover intact with the df and the real traitors. So anyway hes feeling very isolated and hurt - and training in the df is nasty business and makes him hate himself more and more - but still determined to finish his self assigned mission. He is going to find out the df's plans in their entirety, and then hes going to save his clan and leader, and snakeclan too, even if it kills him.

Which. Of course hes Tony so it almost does cost him his life. Due to stuff set up earlier in the story where Tony had to step into the role of leader while Steve was away looking for bucky, Tony was convinced to visit the moonstone equivalent and was given, not the full 9 lives of a leader, but an additional life. He ended up not loosing that life in the time between then and Steve's eventual return, and continued to not lose said life after that, and sort of...everyone sort of forgot, and he didnt actually tell Steve.

And he himself sort of forgot about it. Anyway so Tony sacrifices himself to save either Steve or some kits maybe, from df warriors, and Steve runs to a dying Tony and apologizes and is sad. Admits he loves Tony. Tony dies...And then miraculously breathes again, after a short visit with starclan who are like ur an idiot but thank you for your work, now pls dont die again okay? Before they turn away to continue fighting the df and then Tony is alive again. And Steve is like what?! Omg? Tony is like well okay, I forgot about that life. Uhhh I accept ur apology and I love you too but theres still a battle going on so. Back to fighting!

Anyway they win and then the two of them have to have some long, long conversations, but birdclan's leader and deputy are officially together romantically. Everyone else is like ??? We thought they were mates for years now???? Wth.

Funny, when I got inspired for this story I wasnt thinking much past, like, a single arc wherein kittypet Tony becomes a warrior and falls for goldenheart/wing (steve) and theres some drama where he has to lead the clan for a time and hates himself a bunch for sacrifices and the clan love him but he doesnt see it. Its sorta canon that things in canon start out with a Tony who is loved by many but feels unlovable on a deeper level, and then years and years and years later everyone hates Tony bc uhh reasons and he thinks its deserved and also makes it worse a lot but for good reasons. So...sort od that but warrior cats except not as awful or as pointlessly negative/ the clan still does love Tony they just trust their leader more than him, fear the df/evil cats that seemingly Tony is aligned with, and said leader is being a doofus... some of them are as quick to judge as Steve is and also are less friendly with Tony, I admit, but those relationships get mended and he is very loved.

[starkid-mostly]

Cats Can’t Bruise You - Chapter 1

TW: Mentions of abuse

The first time Damian noticed something off with Janis... He remembered it was the day she came in, her body almost completely bruised and she winced every time she had to move. "You okay, Jan?" She had nodded, dismissing the entire situation. "Okay, but tell me if you ever need anything or if you need help." He said, even though he knew she wouldn't ever tell him unless she was desperate for help.

He started to get even more concerned when the light in her eyes began to dim. She was more lifeless and less vivacious than she used to be. Gone were the snippy remarks and the jokes and the funny faces. Now, she seemed to be on constant autopilot.

But Damian couldn't wait any longer to speak up when she showed up with a black eye, bruises, and cuts everywhere her skin was exposed . "Darling..."

"It was my cat. I promise I'm okay," She lied.

"Sweetheart, I know you're tiny, but cats can't bruise you." She glared at him and he would be scared, but she had been his best friend for most of their lives. That glare didn't worry him anymore. "It's not going to do you any good if you lie to me, hon."

She pouted. "I'll talk to you and Aaron tonight, mmkay? It's too risky to say it here." Damian nodded. "I'll be okay."

"Promise?" Janis nodded. "I trust you, Jan. Aaron's gonna flip out at lunch when he sees you." She sighed, knowing full well he would. "We both want you to be happy."

Janis sniffed, wincing as she nodded. "I want the same for you guys. Aaron's just a little more protective."

"Because you're small." Janis rolled her eyes, flashing him a half smile.

Damian was right. Aaron flipped out. He delicately held Janis's face in his hands. "Who did this to you?" He whispered, searching her face for anything he might've missed.

"Not now. Not here." He furrowed his eyebrows, running his thumbs over her cheeks. “I’m okay, Aaron. It doesn’t even hurt that bad.”

“Jan... I want you to be safe.” He let go of her face and pulled her to his chest.

“Jeez, not so rough, dude. My whole body’s bruised, not only my face.” Aaron and Damian shared a sigh. “Everything’s okay.”

”Everything’s not okay, love. Somebody hurt you and I don’t know what we can do about it and I’m scared. I never get scared.” Damian was trembling, shaking with anger for Janis.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll be okay.”

Aaron held her closer. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“I know you will. But I don’t need you to because everything’s gonna be fine.” She smiled, and even though it didn’t reach her eyes, it was nice to see her smiling again.

Everything was not fine. Aaron picked Janis up from her house to take her to Damian's house for movie night and she was sobbing. "Janis, what happened?"

"It hurts so bad," She cried, pulling her knees up to her chest. "I want it to stop."

He offered her his hand, which she took right away, clutching it like her life depended on it. "We'll get you some medicine once we're at Damian's. And we can hold you until you feel safe and happy again."

"That sounds nice." She admitted. "I need sleep though..." She trailed off.

"Okay. You can have the bed I usually sleep in. It's bigger." She shook her head as soon as he made the offer. "Jan, I want you to. Please?"

Janis made a noise of agreement. "Fine, I guess."

"Thank you." She looked out the window at the blur of colours before she gave into sleep. "Night, Jan."

Damian was extremely concerned when Aaron carried a limp Janis into his house and laid her down on the couch. "What happened to her?"

"She's just asleep." Aaron reassured. He visibly relaxed at that. "Poor thing. I think it's been a while since she actually got some sleep and I'm not gonna bother waking her up."

"God, she's bleeding a lot more than she was earlier..." Damian noticed. "Take her jacket off."

Aaron hesitated. "Are you sure? She doesn't ever want me to see her without her jacket." Damian nodded. After another moment of thought, Aaron took it off, revealing bruises and scars and cuts all over her skin. Her eyes fluttered open slowly, and quickly widened as she felt the cold air on her arms. She reached for her jacket as soon as she noticed her arms were bare, but Damian yanked it away from her.

"Janis, darling." She sat up, shaking her head. "Who did all this?"

"Depends. Which part?" The boys looked back at her, confused. "It wasn't just one person."

"Who gave you all these bruises?"

"Shane Oman and the guys from the football team..." Aaron gritted his teeth and stood up. Janis grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. "Don't hurt him. He'll kill me."

Now, they both knew that Janis was only exaggerating, but they didn't doubt that he could kill her if he really wanted to. "Okay. Only to keep you safe, though."

She hummed. "Can we watch a movie now?"

"No. You still have to tell us who cut you."

"Parents." She answered, simply. Damian and Aaron shared a look of horror.

Damian sat next to her and grabbed her hand. "Jan, we're telling my mom." She silently pleaded with him but he wouldn't give in. "You're not safe. You're hurting. I don't like to see that, love."

"There's nothing you can do about it. My parents will kill me before you can get me out of there." Aaron felt the gears in his brain turning.

"She's right. So we have to do it right now and hide her. It's a Band-Aid kind of situation." Damian processed this for a moment.

"Okay. But we'll have to bring her somewhere where her parents won't look for her. Because they're gonna look here and they'll go to your house, too."

A moment of silence hung in the air. "Bring me to Regina's. We may or may not have made up a while ago. Plus her mom loves me. They'd keep me safe."

"Alright. Mom!" Damian yelled. His mother walked in, holding her laptop. "Janis needs help. And we need to bring her to Regina's house. And call the cops on her parents."

It was a lot to explain and Janis was exhausted but she did it anyways because she knew she'd eventually get some sleep. Mrs. Hubbard hugged her immediately as she finished, but Janis whimpered in pain and she was let go. "Sorry, dear."

"It's fine, it just hurts a little bit." She picked her jacket from off the ground and wrapped it around herself. "Can we go now? I'm getting anxious."

"Yes, of course, sweetheart." Damian took her hand as they walked to the car. "It's all gonna be okay."

She hadn't even noticed, but tears started running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry."

"No! Don't be sorry. None of this is your fault." Aaron was quick to comfort her. Over the short time they had been friends, she'd become like a sister to him and he'd do anything to keep her safe. He'd jump in front of a bus for her. And she felt the same about him, even though if she got hit by a bike she'd likely break something.

"I ruined movie night." She whined. "I'm so sorry."

Damian kissed her forehead. "Don't be. We love you and we're just glad you're safe."

"I love you guys."

----

Mrs. George welcomed her with open arms and even Regina gave her a hug after hearing the story. "Janis..." Regina whispered. "Oh, Jan, I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay. I'll be fine." Regina studied her for a moment before tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Why don't you come upstairs with me? You can sleep, wash up, watch TV, anything you'd like." Janis nodded, taking the stairs two at a time. Regina stayed behind to talk to Aaron and Damian. "Hey, I know we're not on great terms right now, but thank you for taking care of Janis. She's amazing and I just want her to be safe and happy."

"We both want the same." Damian said, in agreement. "So she's good to stay here for a while?" Regina nodded. "Okay. Thank you."  

Mrs. George and Mrs. Hubbard were chatting as they heard sirens in the distance. "I know they're probably not the same ones coming for Jan's parents. Still, I can't help but wonder." Mrs. George remarked.

"I hope it is. That poor girl."

Regina ran up the stairs to go to her room after saying goodbye to the Hubbards and Aaron.

"Hey, Jan?" Regina called, getting no response. She opened the door to her room, finding Janis fast asleep in a chair. "I can't let her sleep like this." Regina muttered, shocked at how incredibly light the girl was. She placed her on the bed carefully, cuddling up next to her like they used to when they were little. "You gotta be okay... peanut." She smiled at the nickname and swore she could see the corners of Janis's lips turn up. "I love you. You'll be safe soon. I promise."

[driversmutbucket]

Reader x Jude

Part II

——

Part I:

——

Warnings: zero, none, nada

Author note: alrighty, this turned out to be a slow burn. I can’t make our sweet boy Jude fuck on the first date 👌

The next week, a Thursday evening, you were just about to leave for the day from the practice when the phone in your nurse station rang.

“Hello, this the Dr Ross paediatric centre, you are speaking with y/n” you said with a hint of forced enthusiasm.

“Oh, ah, hi! It’s Jude”

“Oh! Hi Jude, is Andrea okay?!” You said slightly concerned “I was just closing up here.”

“Oh shit, yeah, no, he is fine, I’m so sorry to ring at this time, I just have been trying to get hold of you, and didn’t know any other way” he admitted “I actually feel like a bit of an idiot, this is probably the fourth time I have rang, you have never been able to take my call.”

“Oh! Well now it makes sense why the receptionist said the other day that a lady with a deep voice named Judith had rung for me.” you said snorting.

You could hear Andrea babbling away in the background as Jude chuckled warmly ”Oh God, i am so sorry”.

”No, no, don't apologise, it was a temp receptionist and she seemed absolutely off the wall” you assured him ”anyway, what can i help you with?”

You heard Jude clear his throat before he said ”Well actually, uh, i was ringing to see if you wanted to get that coffee?”

“Oh! Yeah sure!” you said, blushing.

“OK great, are you free tomorrow?” you could hear the relief in his voice, “and could i get your number so i can message you incase...” Andrea suddenly started wailing in the background and he didn't finish his sentence.

You quickly gave him your number and hung up so he could tend to his son. You heart was beating rapidly.

Your rang Dr Ross (or as she insisted you call her, Jan).

”Hello, y/n, is everything ok?”

”Hi Jan, so sorry to bother you after hours, but uhhhh, i seem to have been asked out by a patients parent....” you admitted cautiously.

”Oh, so Jude finally did huh?” you could hear the smile in her voice.

”I’m sorry what!?” you laughed..

”Come on y/n, I've seen how he looks at you, I'm glad he finally did it, he is a lovely, lovely man” she gushed.

“I mean, wow....” was all you could manage.

“As for going around with a patients father, it is all ok legally, i checked it out a while ago” she assured, “let’s just say, i had a hunch.”

“Shit! Oh god sorry for cursing! I mean, thank you!” you stammered, laughing nervosly.

“Oh y/n, don't be ridiculous, I will see you tomorrow ok?” Jan replied with a laugh.

You said your goodbyes and hung up. She really was a terrific boss, you thought with a grateful smile.

Checking your phone you saw Jude and messaged you with the details about tomorrow morning. You replied and left work, with a slight spring in your step.

----

You woke the next day with a feeling of nervous excitement bubbling in your stomach.

You decided to take the half an hour walk through the city with Bil to meet Jude. You enjoyed walking, you were in the habit of walking everywhere, a side-effect of New York City.

As you walked up to the cafe where you were to meet Jude, you saw him before he saw you. He was sitting in the sun at a table outside, Andrea on his lap. We wore sunglasses and black v neck tee. Oh, he was handsome.

”Hi!” you said, announcing yourself.

Jude looked up and smiled warmly, “Hi, y/n” he took Andrea’s little hand and waved it at you.

”Awh! Hi handsome” you gushed as you bent down and ruffled Andreas hair.

“Jeez son you get all the pretty ladies, huh?” he said to Andrea, who babbled happily at him in return.

You sat down and Jude fussed over Bil as you ordered a coffee. Andrea climbed off Jude’s lap and came over you, you picked him up and popped him on your own lap.

“Honestly, that kid is the biggest ladies man I have ever met, but it is always one sided” he said with a wink, “you are one of the only women he has any interest in!”

”What an honour!” you exclaimed, laughing as you stroked Andrea’s soft locks. Jude smiled at you both tenderly.

You spent a while chatting about the usual kid stuff you were accustomed to, it was obvious Jude was distressed about Andrea’s lack of vocabulary at 2 and 1/2, you tried to reassure him.

You got onto the subject of dating,

”The thought of explaining this whole situarion” Jude said motioning at himself and Andrea, “to new people all the time is just exhausting.”

You nodded sympathetically.

”The solo dad/widower gig is crazy” he admitted, “it’s so nice to meet up with you y/n, I feel instantly at ease because I don't have to preface this with our big sob story, you know? Our world is pretty small”

“Well first off, it isn't a sob story Jude!” you said as you bounced Andrea on your knee, “but I can see how it would be so hard to get out there with everything going on.”

“I really feel like I need to focus on him while he is young, I don't want him to be fucked up from all of it” he nodded at Andrea.

”You are doing an incredible job” you beamed at him, taking a sip of your coffee.

Before you knew it you had been chatting away comfortably for 2 hours, you said with regret that you needed to drop Bil off at his dog day care and head to work. You parted ways with smiles.

----

After work that evening you checked your phone, there was a message from Jude.

I really enjoyed coffee this morning, how about dinner on Sunday? I will try get a babysitter so I’m not competing for your attention.

Haha! Sounds lovely! You replied.

----

On Sunday you were a bundle of nerves, you had never spent time with Jude, without Andrea there as a sort of, buffer. However you were looking forward to getting to know him better and seeing how he scrubbed up. He had chosen a slightly upmarket restaurant in Manhatten for dinner.

You spent the early evening flapping about deciding what to wear. Eventually you settled on a simple yet chic black dress that was entirely fitted and hugged all your curves. It went to mid calf but had a slit up the left leg to mid thigh that made it a touch sexy. The v neck cut showed enough cleavage to be enticing. You chose some simple pointed toe heels to go with it. You wore your hair down, something that you didn't do often, and styled it into soft waves. You did your usual makeup, but added a bold red lip for the occasion. You looked in the mirror and breathed in and out deeply.

You got a cab to the restaurant, arriving before Jude and you decided to wait outside for him.

“Y/n!”

You turned and saw Jude grinning and striding toward you. Jesus take the wheel.

He. Looked. So. Good.

You inhaled sharply, taking in the sight. He was in a crisp pale blue dress shirt and black dress trousers. His dark hair shined and softly waved around his face. You collected yourself and smiled,

“Hey Jude, gosh you look very handsome!”

You saw a red hue tinge his cheeks at the compliment.

“I mean, thanks, but you look...wow” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair.

It was your turn to blush.

“Yeah, decided to give the scrubs the night off” you joked.

He put his hand gently on your back and motioned to the door, “shall we?”

During dinner the wine flowed and the conversation and laughter with it. You hardly noticed what you were eating as you talked.

Neither of your wanted the night to end and after dinner you walked to a jazz bar you had heard of nearby. Both nicely buzzed on alcohol, any awkwardness was erased as Jude dragged you to the dance floor. You both laughed and danced until you were out of breath, retiring to the bar.

“I honestly haven’t had this much fun in ages” Jude confessed, beaming “I forgot what it is like to socialize after 6pm!”

“Thanks for asking me to be your accomplice” you said resting your hand on his upper arm.

You ordered another red wine each and clinked glasses.

“To dancing badly!” Jude announced.

You laughed, “long may it continue!”

When your glasses were drained, Jude checked his watch and groaned.

“I best be going home in about half an hour.”

The jazz band started a slow number, and he extended his hand to you.

“My lady?”

You snorted, and grabbed his hand, “let’s show them how it’s done.”

He dragged you to the dance floor, then turned to face you. Even in your heels he was tall, you reached and put one hand on his shoulder and slipped your other hand into his. He placed his free hand on your waist.

In your joyous alcohol induced state you closed the gap between your bodies and rested your head on his broad chest, closing your eyes and humming along to the music. Jude didn't miss a beat, lowering his head and rest it against yours affectionately. You stayed this way, swaying to the music, until it was time to go.

——

Part 3

[bluekayanite]

(SU:F Theory) Steven’s Struggles - What’s Coming Next??

While things may be pretty dull in SU:F right now, I think that there's something amazing coming on the horizon. =3

...yeah, that's all I got for an intro. XD;  More below the line.

EDIT (Jan 2, 2020): Added a few observation that I think are pretty important.

The General Mood

I'll admit to knowing pretty much exactly how Steven feels: watching people drift away and move forward while you seem to be stuck... needing to talk to someone about how you feel, but feeling like your options are bad, or that you need to talk to someone who can keep it a secret, first...  Yeah, I relate a lot to these last two eps.

I also seem to relate (though I can't remember why XD; ) to what I call being "stuck in time," or "displaced in time" - when I say these, I mean things like wanting/needing to move on, but not wanting to, or not knowing how.  It can also count for things like how Steven is both wanting things to be like they've been for him, and trying to move away from those things.

And I'm going to admit... the abrupt way that a lot of them left kinda doesn't seem to help. =/

As much as I hate long goodbyes at regular gatherings, short goodbyes when you don't know if you'll see each-other seem even worse.  ...Not to mention they could’ve tried to keep him in the loop at least a little bit...  (If you ask me, I say "Some friends they are... -.-;")

This said, I'm noticing something about the general tone of the show, and a pretty big contrast to the original series: Unlike SU, which started out with more of a feeling of lighthearted adventure and discovery, SU:F has started with more of a feeling of listlessness, melancholy, and ends that don't seem to lead anywhere, and leave Steven (and - by extension, in a possible way - the audience) with a feeling of having nowhere to go.  And it's only kind of broken up with things that aren't really that dangerous - and in general, aren't really that exciting. XD;  It's kind of interesting to see how things are "grown up," sure, but it's also kind of a drag.

Which... all of that seems pretty strange, if you think about it.

(EDIT) I mean, for one, it’s a pretty big contrast to the bright, happy, optimistic tone of the opening theme.

And for another... I remember a comment that there are still plenty of mysteries left unsolved from the original SU, and I'm more than inclined to agree with that.  To name a handful of them...

We know about how strict Gem culture is, but hardly anything about any of their, say, folklore, traditions, mythologies etc. - things like a Cosmic Jubilee have only been mentioned in passing.

We still don't know what was in the chest in Lion's mane (which has been opened).

We still haven't seen that one Diamondy-looking structure that's been hinted at in the colony plans

We don't know about that one book in Rose's treasure trove that appears to be important.

(Ref post)

What was up with the lizards?

We still don't really know much about White's type of Gems - though we can venture a few guesses.

(Not listed: possible vanity, melodramatic-ness among said Gems)

So, even though there's plenty to be explored - more than I think could be covered in a single season, or maybe even two - this fact seems to have been forgotten in-canon... and I would say conveniently so.

EDIT: Side note: It’s pretty frequently said that the kinds of things that bug us the most are the kinds of things that we ourselves need to work on.  …Personally, I actually question how true it is, and if it’s more of an assumption Freud made that people run with, not being as much of “THE reality” as people tend to think - if at all. XD;

Regardless, it appears to be an assumption that’s being run with: You remember Steven’s complaint about Amethyst?

Well, personally, I’m sick of Steven acting like he’s so> mature now.  Let yourself be yourself, dude!  You don’t have to leave your old interests behind!!

...Anyway, similarly, the complaint about Garnet being "high-and-mighty" could easily be applied to Steven - even <i>he's</i> aware of his need to be needed, and the fact that he just suddenly took over Amethyst's mentorship program.  And the part about Pearl being likely to blame herself and fall to pieces... well, admittedly, it seems like that one <i>might</i> be stretching a little bit, but I <i>guess</i> you could say that Steven <i>assumes responsibility</i> for other people's issues - even if he technically doesn't "blame" himself.  And given his reactions during <i>Little Graduation</i> (as well as his behavior <i>Prickly Pair</i>), then I'd say that he's pretty <i>close</i> to falling to pieces.

(Bonus points for the gardening joke. X3)

At any rate, this only helps to feed the feelings of listlessness and such that have been going on. XD;

This said, one of the things about storytelling (of all forms) is that you can't keep the tone the same for long, or else that tone starts to get old.  A feeling of boringness, naturally, is one of the worst tones to keep, and the whole point of what's been going on is that things have been pretty dull.  I’m sure Crewniverse knows this: I doubt that they'd push a “boring” feeling for too long...

Especially not without it being a build-up for something BIG. =3

What I think is Coming

So one of the things that has been keeping the monotony from growing too big is the enemies shown in the intro.

So far, we’ve been encountering enemies from this shot every single week - or very-nearly every two eps.  We’ve already encountered most of them, and only two are left: a big, spiny, worm-y thing (which looks pretty intimidating =3), and “White” Diamond…

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I think her change of color is probably pretty important.  I can only imagine that whatever’s made her not-so-white is going to be covered, and assuming that this isn't self-inflicted somehow (or maybe even if it was), I can only assume it was triggered by something BIG. 83  ...If subtle. XD

Now, obviously, White doesn't seem the kind to do something like this to herself.  In the post in the link above, I theorized that it may have been something she picked up from Steven - something that he wouldn't have used consciously.  Something that he couldn't have even known about, because I think that even Rose didn't know.

I think it's a virus designed specifically for White - something that Rose wouldn't (couldn't!) have made on purpose.  More likely, I think it was from someone who White eventually got, and was stuck in the moon base orb as punishment for her crimes.

I think that this prisoner is someone important who hasn't been given a proper introduction - someone who is going to get her introduction shortly. =3

There's Plenty of Evidence of a Moon Prisoner

The appearance of the moon seems FAR from random to me.  I’m not really sure how to explain how, but the timing of it seems... planned, and it feels too much like it's not a coincidence.

One of the things I can say is that it's sometimes there, and sometimes not, and in of itself, it might seem inconsistent.  It doesn't fit the “Okay, let's just stick the moon in the sky because it's night” thing that comes with most portrayals of the moon - this is partly because of just how often it shows during the day; something which happens IRL, but which few ever really put a focus on, especially in art.

And they can't be going for lunar accuracy because it’ll do things like staying almost-in-place after sunset, changing position entirely too quickly, and changing phases within the same day.  In fact, in Sworn to the Sword, during the Jam Buds song, the moon is full during the day (which is impossible IRL), and then changes to a quarter-moon as soon as the song is over.

So basically, I think that there's a prisoner in the moon base’s observation orb, and she likes to watch what’s going on.  When said prisoner is watching, there will be a change in the moon - or even the color of the sky.  And judging by this, the prisoner...

Is interested in Steven and the Gems

Is especially interested in Steven and Connie

(Is probably a 'shipper in general)

Is supportive and excitable, though appears to have some issues with anxiety or something

Has pink magic

Is POWERFUL enough to affect the appearance of the moon, sky, and maybe even stars through her emotions

Is also INCREDIBLY interested in entertainment (wrestling, Beach-a-Palooza), the Rose Quartzes, and "Volleyball"

Yeah...  I believe that - much like the robonoids in the ep Off-Colors - White Diamond was able to get through Rose's shield, and that a certain big "reveal" is basically a lot of mind-control on her part.

This has been by theory since a week after A Single Pale Rose came out (warning: large post) - or less than a week, technically.  (It takes time to write these things. XD; )

Since before even Dewey Wins came out (after the Wanted arc), it has been my theory that Pink has been the prisoner in the orb (warning: old and long), and if the above list doesn't describe Pink - particularly the last few bullets - then I don't know what does.  Add in the fact that she probably has empathy magic, and it seems pretty much guaranteed.

And yeah, the segments of Steven's dome suggest that he is part Diamond, but one of my theories suggests that Rose may have been made that way, anyway - that Pink made Rose to be part Diamond, and thus an abomination from the start (by Gem standards).  Or at least that Pink put enough of herself into Rose that Rose's powers (and thus Steven's) could sort of emulate this.

But yeah, the behavior of the moon is... not very logical, as far as moons go. XD  It makes a lot more sense if you interpret it as a sign that somebody is watching - especially if you take things like the size, frequency, and brightness of the moon into account.  (The color of the sky also works - sometimes it has pink in it, especially around sunrise/set.)

This includes one of the two latest eps: The moon was generally there (and full! =D) throughout the graduation.

(Side note: It's neat seeing the Off-Colors eating. ^_^)

It blends in with the lighting, so it's hard to say whether a certain circle is the moon around the stage performance...

But it's definitely around the stage when the dome is created and the lighting is lost.

Once the dome is up, it's actually more visible through the dome, and it nearly-always shows in shots that include Steven.

(It also actually disappears from behind Lars' head after Steven points at him. XD)

(...granted, that one detail might be an error.  But I believe it also might not be. ;3)

It disappears entirely right before the dome starts shrinking, and doesn't reappear for the rest of the party.

This is actually consistent behavior; I noticed the same thing in Cry for Help and Sadie's Song.  It seems like when it looks like things could go reallybad (socially, at least), it's too difficult for her to watch.  This is what I meant by "issues with anxiety or something." ��(The consistency seems like another good clue on it being intentional.)

However, the moon does show up again after things have calmed down again: it's full and BRIGHT as Steven drives and ponders things.  This could be meant as wanting to give support, and feeling more than a little sorry - possibly including being sorry for looking away before.

But yes, in general, the behavior of the moon in this ep fits with my general assessment on the moon's appearances, as well as what I understand/believe of Pink's personality.  And it looks to me like she already both would like to give help, and would probably need some, especially after release. ;3

(And seriously, why show the moon through the wall of the dome if it wasn't important?  Especially if it was going to get covered and such, anyhow?  The pattern of the dome already makes the background pretty busy and complicated - artistically speaking, I'm pretty sure it would've been better to leave the moon out.

And even more... why make it dis appear for only part of the story?  It seems like they were committed to showing it, otherwise, so it seems like there'd have to be an important reason for that one, too. ;3)

I'll note that I didn't find any signs of the moon in the ep Prickly Pair, and that the sunset is clearly orange.

(Seriously, that's a huge contrast to the sunrise from Bluebird.)

But yeah, to me, it seems like pretty much everything points a new, major plot change coming very soon, and the moon - and its prisoner - are a really big part of that. =3

Possible Role(s) for Pink

(All my posts lead to Pink.  SUE ME.)

Okay, so obviously if Pink were revealed not to be the same as Rose Quartz, then it would be a pretty big shake-up - there would probably be at least a few eps about the main characters trying to get used to the idea (especially Pearl HO BOY).  This could definitely give Steven some stuff to do, though I think odds are good that Pink herself would do a lot of it.  (And should, I believe - they'd partly be her problems, after all!)

...Though granted, I think there's a pretty good chance that pretty much every Gem on Earth - as well as in general - would need some time to get adjusted. XD;  Speaking of which, I've already mentioned that en encounter with Jasper seems likely, as well as a possible-reveal with Smokey Quartz.  (Aaaand of course, there’d have to be stuff about the Rose Quartzes and "Volleyball" HO BOY  =D; )

I'll also note that I noticed that the moon was around during the "fight" at the end of Sunstone's video, so she would've seen both Sunstone and Rainbow.

(I've found out that XFinity wasn't showing the wrong vids after all. XD;  Should've checked more intently sooner how embarrassing...)

But yeah.  So far, Smokey's the only one of the three main Gem-Steven Fusions that hasn't been shown with a moon around, so that makes it seem even more likely to me that Smokey is gonna be important to her. =3

In general, I think that Pink being around could help tie up a lot of loose ends, and explain a lot of odd details - partly because a shake-up could lead to the Gems doing more thing, partly because of whatever Pink's actual involvement was during the war, and partly because I would be far from surprised if there were things that only Diamonds were allowed to know. XD

As I've already mentioned, it seems like Pink would want to help with things, as well as needing help, herself.  It seems like she could be just the person Steven needs to help with his problems - possibly including the problem of how to solve his own problems, without always needing outside help. XD;  She could be connected-yet-detached enough from everything that's been going on that it'd make her a pretty good candidate for somebody to listen to him, and there is some pretty good evidence that she was good at keeping secrets - even before the whole Earth fiasco happened.

The watching-from-the-moon thing could both complicate and simplify matters, depending on the situation. XD;  (Not that I could really blame her.)  ...Personally, I'm hoping for at least one joke about Pink having seen something awkward and embarrassing. X3

Anyway, I've mentioned that the moon wasn't there for Prickly Pair - well, it wasn't there for Guidance either, when the subject of Steven not knowing what to do first came up.  ...Come to think, I guess you could also count it not being there when brought up in Little Graduation.  At any rate, it seems that the topic of Steven feeling aimless is one that she probably doesn't know about, and would have to be brought up after her release. XD

I was theorizing before that maybe she wasn't sure about what was going on with Steven's new powers, but I think it's safe to say that those powers have been seen now. XD;  At any rate, I think there's a good chance that Pink'd be able to give him some help regarding said newer powers.

And on Steven's side, she could give him someone to help, for awhile. =3  I mean, I've already mentioned that she seems to have fear issues - I'd bet she has a whole slew of baggage after whatever she did in the war, as well as being trapped on the moon. XD;

And for something that might be bigger...  I think the Diamonds - as well as the Gem worlds in general - really need Pink.  She just has so many traits that could balance the Diamonds out, if they really gave her the chance.  I mean, forget the "problematic" Gems - I would think that Gems as a whole would probably be lost without helpful direction.  After a long existence where everything was directed, it sounds like they don't really know what to do on their own... and instead of trying to help them through it, Blue, Yellow, and White just sort of... left them to their own devices.

And maybe it's just me, but I don't think that Steven would cut it - aside from not knowing the ins-and-outs of Gem culture and how it could affect things, I think that they'd need someone who could be there constantly.  Not only would needing to sleep 1/3 of the time really cut into that, but biological needs in general would need to be accounted for, and neither returning to Earth nor trying to to equip the planets for his needs seems like a feasible route. XD;

(Also, one of my theories is that Pink grew immune to White's control due to growing more powerful, as indicated by their mural-halos...

((Image source))

...and I think that White needs a person that she can't control. XD;  Seriously, she needs to have someone who can force her - teach her - to have an honest relationship, and I don't think that's gonna happen so long as White has the option to go an easier route.)

So yeah.  I think that, before too long, the real Pink will return to her throne... and probably even get a series of her own. 83  Of course, she'd still visit, and deal with things on Earth now-and-then, but I think it'd be so awesome to have a series IMMERSED in the Gem side of things. 8333333

...And, of course, on Pink's side of things. ='3

Call it a weird hill to stand-and-die on, and I'd be lying if I said there wasn't any motivated reasoning, but I've always been a big fan of Pink, since I started gleaming what little I could from what little clues I found.  I saw a quirky, loving little Diamond who planned to save the Earth from the very beginning - even if she couldn't bring herself to openly stand up to the other Diamonds - and who planned from the very beginning to help to make Gems free.  And if this Pink is really who she is, then I would love to see her get a show of her own. *^_^*

...So yeah.  "Team" Pink-was-never-Rose forever. =3

[doomedandstoned]

Candlemass: 35 Years A Band

  ~A Doomed & Stoned Double Feature~  

Dare To Knock On   The Door To Doom

By Magnus Tannergren  

I don't know how well known it is that CANDLEMASS hails from the same hoods in the Upplands Väsby right outside Stockholm as both Yngwie Malmsteen and Europe. And it is a fact that Candlemass debut album Epicus Doomicus Metallicus was released just two weeks after Europe's smash hit album The Final Countdown. We all know that that album earned Europe worldwide fame. Candlemass, on the other hand, remained an underground affair for decades.

Yet the legacy of Candlemass cannot be underestimated in anyway when it comes to heavy music. Their slow, heavy Sabbath worship paved the way for a whole genre inspired by the heavy rock and proto-metal of the ‘70s that we call, up until this present day, doom metal. Ironically, Europe now days have returned to their roots and sound more like Deep Purple or Rainbow than anything else. The circle is complete.

Anyway, this is a review of the new Candlemass album 'The Door To Doom' (2019 - Napalm Records) and not a study of when two parallel universes collide. This album also completes a full circle for Candlemass in many ways, too. It sees the return of the mystery man who did the vocals on that legendary debut album that arrived more than three decades ago. It was shocking news when Johan Längquist was announced as the vocalist on the new album -- an album that was already done with vocals by longtime singer Mats Levén (Therion, Krux). Oh the drama...

But maybe this is exactly what Candlemass needed to get back on track. The band has not been able to really deliver the goods these past ten years or so, in my opinion. Maybe it's because of the lead singer issues that have been tormenting Candlemass for ages. The reunion with Messiah Marcolin back in 2004 went south, Rob Lowe had a great voice but didn't work out as a touring member, and so on. Add main songwriter Leif Edling’s struggles with chronic fatigue syndrome and it is easy to understand that this doomsday machine has not been firing on all its cylinders for a while.

Yet here we are now. The new album is out and it is a grand return to epic doom metal as we know it should be done by Candlemass. I am the first to admit that I was skeptical, as I always am, to these kinds of albums that try to summon the glory of the past by reuniting with old members. But I am also the first one to admit when I am wrong. This is a fantastic Candlemass album.

The Door To Doom by CANDLEMASS

The voice of Längquist has matured as a good wine. It depth and grandeur coupled with attitude and experience. The vocals add that extra drama to tracks like "Splendor Demon Majesty" and "Astorolus – the Great Octopus" (yes, there is a solo by Tony Iommi on this, so another completed circle), but there is also beauty to be had, such as in the epic ballad "Bridge of the Blind" with its echoes of the great old ones, like Dio. I'm glad Johan Längquist is back. His silence has been a waste.

Musically, Candlemass delivers an album that stands proud besides the classic first four albums Epicus Doomicus Metallicus, Nightfall, Ancient Dreams, and Tales of Creation. It measures up to the challenge to invoke the gods of doom in a way that sometimes sends shivers down my spine, as I recall the greatness of this band's early years. It bares the mark of true doom and the spirits of the old classics possess this album. The guitar works by Mappe Björkman and Lasse Johansson are stellar and the thunder of Edling’s bass and Jan Lindh’s drumming is spectacular.

The music bares all the marks that makes up the legend of Candlemass. It is, in the words of the band itself, “the sound of 666.” I already mentioned some of the highlights on the album, but I must also say The Door To Doom doesn't really have any weak spots. All the songs are very strong and the riffing is epic. Despite my skepticism, I got bewitched again.

A great doom metal record, indeed, executed with precision and power. I fully believe this material has focus to make Candlemass relevant as a scene-anchoring act in metal once again and I hope they succeed, because the world needs this band. On the other hand, if this turns out to be the last album by this legendary Swedish doomers, The Door To Doom will also serve as a fitting final chapter in the Book of Candlemass. I honestly hope it’s not.

Magnus is the founder and host of Into The Void Podcast. He is also a senior staff writer at Slavestate.se, one of Sweden's oldest and most important online zines about heavy and extreme music.

☠

An Interview with

Candlemass Co-Founder

  Leif Edling

By Willem Verhappen  

I must say I was very surprised when the new record was announced, since at the time of its release, you said 'Psalms for the Dead' would be the final Candlemass full-length record. What made you change your mind? >

The "House of Doom" single. It was great fun to write it! Also working with producer Marcus Jidell was fantastic. We're quite a team, I must say. There I got the inspiration back for an entire album. We had a couple of band meetings about it and it was very clear that the band shared the enthusiasm for a new record. They had been playing live without me for a couple of years, with good response, but without an album it is easy for you to become a retro band pretty quick. Don't want that to happen to Candlemass.

I see what you mean. It's quite a challenge to stay relevant as an "older" band, especially in this day and age, when everything retro seems to be cool. On one hand you have bands like Priest and Saxon, who are still releasing decent records, and on the other hand there's bands who've been past their expiration date for decades. Do you prefer to see a band over their top or just remember them as they were?

That one’s easy. Remember them as they were. But having said that, it is a joy to see bands like Angel Witch, Manilla Road, Pries, and Saxon today, because they can still deliver. When you can’t deliver the goods anymore, maybe stay at home instead. Hope somebody will tap me on the shoulder one day and say “Leif...It’s time.” (laughs)

"Too many discussions & arguments over the years. Maybe some heart was missing in it all."

Just before the Christmas of 2013, you had a bout with burnout and stepped away from live performances for a while. What made you realize you needed to take a break? How did you get the “fire” back again?

A bit better, but not 100%. I'm still struggling with it. I hope I can do the rest of 2019's shows without too many problems. Have to look after myself, rest as much as I can, eat regularly, not party too much. Well, this is very "rock 'n' roll" to say, but it is great to be back. You have to listen to your body. If it says "rest," you have to step back. If it says, “Go, you can do it,” I hope I can!

I hope so. too. As a diabetic. I know it's sometimes difficult to listen to your body and not get drawn into the excitement of the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle. Is it difficult for you? What do you do in these moments?

On the Candlemass tour with Ghost, there was lots of partying on the bus after the shows. I was there, but took it quite easy. Went to bed early, but still I felt tired in the morning. So if we go on another tour, I might have to stop drinking totally, to pull it off. Playing live almost every night takes its toll. I’m 50-plus, struggling with fatigue syndrome, on a tour bus to hell -- talk about the wrong man in the wrong place! (laughs) Said "yes" to it instantly, of course.

In 2015, you released Avatarium’s second album, 'The Girl With The Raven Mask.' Was it difficult for you to pick up writing again?

Yes, it was. Well, not super hard. The burnout gave me the time to rest and get new inspirado for songs. In a way, I’m glad that it happened. Think many people just go on and on without taking a break. They just keep on going and get themselves an aneurysm or something. I quit before that happened. Got lots of time to think about future and what to do with it. Songwriting is one part. That Avatarium album is pretty good, I think.

I agree. It's my favorite Avatarium record. But you're saying this like you're not as happy with the other two records. Is that the case?

No. I love all three of them, but the second is the best.

We spoke briefly at Roadburn 2017 and I don’t know who was more nervous, me for meeting you or you for getting back on stage, playing the first ever live show with The Doomsday Kingdom. I remember that you were afraid no one would show up. Luckily, the place was pretty crowded and you guys gave an amazing show. I still get goosebumps when I think of your emotional performance of "The God Particle." How do you remember your return to the big stage?

The stage wasn’t that big (laughs), but it felt rather good. I could have played better, plus it's true I was quite nervous. It was the first small step to a full return, I would say.

In September of 2017, I spoke to Markus Jidell at an Avatarium show and he told me you were working on something very special. This was shortly before the 'House of Doom' EP was announced, so I assumed he was talking about that. Was he or were you already working on 'The Door To Doom'?

We worked on the House of Doom for about six months before we started on the full-length album. If I remember correctly, we started the demoing of the new songs on November 1st. The full album took exactly one year to make. Too long! Next time, I hope I’m better, then I hope we can deliver an album in three to six months. Shouldn’t take more time than that.

Does that mean there will be more Candlemass music coming our way?

Well, eventually. Hopefully!

The only surprise bigger than a new record was the return of Johan Längquist. How did that come about?

During the recording, we felt something was missing. We had too many discussions and arguments over the years -- all of us. Maybe some heart was missing in it all. I'd worked my ass off for this record, but was struggling with my health. Too much work, too much business, too many arguments, too much bull! In the end, we took a band decision to bring in Johan again -- go back to the "ground zero" of Doom, so to speak. Mats had done a great job, but we needed to do something in C-mass to find the spark again and Johan was the answer. Now we focus on having fun, not letting any business take over. I have no clue if it will last a year or two. At least we will enjoy the time left.

Lyrically, as well as musically, I think ‘The Door To Doom’ feels like a very dark record. What were your inspirations while writing this album?

It’s a good thing that people see the albums music and lyrics in different ways. I don’t think it is that dark. We have done darker things in C-mass, definitely. The songs are about the state of the world, how I feel myself during the burnout process, sea monsters, and reflections upon life in general. This time around, I’m pretty satisfied with the lyrics.

"I have no clue if it will last a year or two. At least we will enjoy the time left."

It's no secret that you’re a massive Black Sabbath fan, owning over half a meter worth of vinyl of their debut alone. I can only imagine how special it must have been for Tony Iommi to play on your record. How did that come about and what was it like working with Tony?

We just asked him. Seriously. We asked and got a "yes!" Our manager emailed his personal manager. Couldn’t believe it when we had the positive answer back. I was over the moon. Tony Iommi will play on my song! Hardest thing was to keep my mouth shut for three months. (laughs) But, you know, if you aim for the stars, you might succeed. He sent us the solo after a while and it was absolutely great! A dream came true.

Amazing how easily these things can happen.

Yes, Dio said once in an interview that he would have loved to guest sing on records but he never had the question put to him.

You’re currently on tour, opening for Ghost. When I went to see your show in Amsterdam, I noticed their audience is turning more mainstream. For instance, before your show, I heard someone say: “I looked up Candlemass online. They sound kind of like AC/DC.” Do you recognise this and how have the reactions been so far?

I have heard that we sound like Iron Maiden and Motörhead, to mention a couple. AC/DC? That’s a first. But the crowd reaction for our short set during the Ghost tour has been really good, actually. Better than we expected, so we must have done something right. The reactions for the album have been fantastic. Super great criticism from all over the world. And the Cardinal said to us, “You are special guest on this tour. You’re not the support act.”

With a band like Ghost, I can imagine the touring life is quite the experience. Did you have a chance to interact with those guys much beyond the stage?

Not really, they play a nearly three-hour long set and they take it seriously, as you should. We did have a couple of record hunting trips with the Cardinal that were very pleasant. He is a real vinyl buff, so we raided some shops here and there.

I can only imagine how these raids go about. What's your best find this tour?

The first Steamhammer record. First press on Brain €50. I gave it to the Cardinal after the last show, since we really wanted it, too. He got it as a gift from me, saying thanks for a great tour.

Since you’re a record collector and a fan of old school metal, are there any new bands you’re into that you think everyone should check out?

I haven’t bought a record with a new band for several years. I have no clue what’s going on in the metal world anymore. I just buy old albums. Seems like they knew how to write songs back then. Lost art, unfortunately. Is Blood Ceremony considered to be a “new” band? They are pretty good, I think.

Do you have future plans for the band or will you be shifting focus to side projects like Doomsday Kingdom, Krux, or others?

We just released a new Candlemass album and the schedule for this year is already full, so I won’t have any time, this year anyway, to do anything other than C-mass.

True, your calendar is swelling with the Ghost tour and some festival appearances in the summer. Are there any shows you’re especially looking forward to?

Yes: Sweden Rock, Hellfest, Wacken and, well, all of them! (laughs)

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[breaking-up-with-cockles]

Tinhatting Cockles like a Boss - like a G0$$ B0$$

So Misha did a livestream for his death2normalcy Valentine’s Day sale yesterday, and as a cockles tinhat, I think I would be remiss if I did not consider that Jensen is somehow involved. I will even go one step further and postulate that Misha was lying when he said the screaming came from one of the grandmothers. 

Ok so first of all I think that this D2N Valentine’s Day sale is about Jensen because yeah I’ma crazy tinhat but it’s freaking Valentines. But also because I think Misha and Jensen disagree when it comes to keeping their relationship secret. This might seem random but bear with me. At SPNHON (when they were broken up blah blah blah), the last question of the cockles panel was about gishwhes and after Misha tells the story about Jensen finding his skittles portrait, he pivots to another skittles portrait story that I don’t think Misha has ever told before:

So that year, this friend of mine actually was on a gishwhes team and he made a Jensen - he never watched supernatural he had no idea - but he made a Jensen Ackles’ mosaic portrait in Skittles and he was like “I’m certainly not gonna hang this up in my place so I thought you should have it” and I was like “oh thanks” and I stuck it in the closet. And then Vicki was like -a few months later she was like , “We have to get rid of that Jensen Skittle thing because rats are eating the candies off of it and it’s attracting rats.”

Ok I think I need to post a video because imo it looks like the story was fabricated by Misha in an effort to hurt Jensen while making a point and that’s important. When you’re angry and in a high emotional state, you are gonna say shit that’s true and shit that hurts. And yeah I know most cockles shippers think this was a great panel, but nah. Misha’s story starts at 34:16. If you watch before or after this part when the band comes on stage, you can see how teary eyed both Misha and Jensen are. Especially Misha doing everything he could to keep the emotion from escalating. Honestly, I don’t see how people can see this panel and think that they were in a good place. It’s painful.

Anyways, so this is all about The Closet™. Yep, that closet. Because Jensen wants their relationship to stay secret and while in the closet, they can’t openly be as affectionate as they would probably like, which means that it’s easier for people to think Misha is available which gives him more opportunity to stray since not everyone is aware of their relationship. I’m not blaming Jensen or giving Misha an excuse, I’m just reasoning that the more temptation there is, the harder it is to resist. So I think one thing that maybe Misha is saying, is that because Jensen is in the closet, he is gonna attract cheating rats like Misha. He could also be saying that because Jensen wants to stay closeted, Misha (and Vicki?) think they should toss Jensen and break up because they only get the little bits of Jensen anyways rather than the whole guy. So maybe this was like a retaliatory breakup for Misha, if true. One of those “you can’t break up with me! I’m breaking up with you!”. So I think this closet conversation is possibly a point of contention for them. This closet thing from SPNHON came back to me because of the D2N email they sent out a week ago.

The closet in Hawaii had some serious negative connotation, but the way that Misha is using it here, is diametrically different. Here with D2N, the closet is associated with 7 minutes, which was probably intended to remind us of that teenage party game where two people make-out in a closet for 7 minutes. The game is called 7 Minutes in Heaven. Cute and relevant. And since this is set to go down on Valentine’s day, then almost certainly Misha wanted us to think of sexy closet time.  But with Valentine’s I also think of cupids, which reminds me of angels, which reminds me of heaven. Cool. 7 Minutes of Heaven. Just kidding, I thought cupi-Cas, which reminds me of Cas’s original personal heaven from season 9, a room full of pics of naked Deans. Maybe this is Misha’s personal heaven too. Being a in a closet with naked Dean/Jensen. 

But then Misha throws me when he keeps reiterating in the D2N video and on twitter that “loving someone means letting go” and “when you love something, set it free”. Oh god is this another cockles breakup.Of course my negative filter, thinks he’s talking about letting Jensen go but would he do that on Valentine’s Day? Maybe. Misha is pretty twisted but I don’t think he is cruel. Plus, I have seen what broken-hearted Jensen and Misha look like and how they behave, particularly when their relationship has blown up, and I just don’t see the Misha from his D2N video as the lovelorn one from late last year. But I could be wrong.

However, even though my default is to go negative, I am actually more hopeful. The dreamer in me is hoping that this whole D2N thing was making way for Jensen and Misha to say goodbye to the closet and for them to finally be open with their love. Death to the closet. Death to normalcy. Hello motto. Hello to polyamory. That would be freaking amazing but yeah that’s definitely not gonna happen (yet). And I don’t really need or care if they’re public with their relationship, but I don’t want my babies fighting. I actually wonder if maybe that’s where gishwhes was gonna go this year till Misha blew it. Like it was gonna be some elaborate coming out celebration/scavenger hunt, but since they broke up, they had to call off that plan and Misha decided to go ahead and stick with the same tried and true gishwhes formula. Oh man, I wish. But the truth is, I don’t think Jensen and Misha are gonna come out on Valentines Day but I will be more shocked if this D2N thing is about a breakup rather than if its some next level flirting on Misha’s part. I mean c’mon! He is selling a mixtape. 

So that was crazy the first. Crazy the second is that I’m not actually convinced that it was a grandmother at Misha’s door. I have no real proof for this (as if I ever do) except that when Danneel posted ❤🌏🌚🌏 in response to one of Misha’s instagrams on saturday the 10th, my eighth thought was that she meant “see you in two days”. The little moon guy signifies night and the rotation of the earth. So when Misha had visitors at his house that he was desperately hiding from us, in my crazy tinhat head, it was the Ackles family and everything was all coming together. Here is Misha’s D2N video.

Here is my stellar logic though. Yes, it could have been a grandmother but he has already introduced us to both of them. We met Vicki’s mom in Hawaii and Misha has never been too shy with showing off his parents. I think he had a a gishwhes meet-up in Bellingham for his mother’s bday in 2016 where tons of fans socialized with her. It just doesn’t make sense to me that he would suddenly want to exclude them (unless they asked for that which is a possibility) when he films pretty much anyone that is there. But this is flawed because i have no idea if he asks permission from the people and the parents of everyone he films beforehand. But no doubt, both Misha’s and Vicki’s respective mothers know Misha well enough to know he’s quirky and he records a lot of videos. Ok I admit this is a weak argument. But what about Misha’s reaction when his wind-chime/doorbell rang, before the screaming even began? Why would he frantically run upstairs away from his mom or MIL? I mean, Misha booked it, two steps at a time. 

And then there was that weird thing he said after he ran upstairs and closed the door.  He said:

What else do I need to tell you. I mean that may be it. It’s valentines day. They say -  I mean really that’s the problem with live video. Someone walks through the front door and starts screaming and it’s all - it’s captured for everyone to see. Something terrible is gonna happen eventually.

But how is having one of the mothers/grandmother’s accidentally walk in on a live video terrible? How many times have we seen glimpses or flashes of people that we have known and not known in his videos? Would he define those as something terrible? Considering he hasn’t, probably not. However, even though I have begged and prayed for a revealing accidental cockles moment in one of Misha’s videos, as amazing and life-saving as that would be for me and for the world, I can see how that could be “something terrible” for Misha and Jensen and maybe even their families. But imo family time with a shrieking grandmother does not compare to "something terrible”. It is actually a rather odd, harmless time for Misha to suddenly realize the risks of livestreaming. He has streamed dozens of live videos of his family, one where someone even farted. These are not uncommon occurrences for him yet we are supposed to believe that this ordinary standard loud family gathering with grandma is the eye-opening incident that shines a light on the hazards of livestreaming that he never considered before. Sure, Jan. The incongruity or just plain absurdity of his grandmothers visit warranting a “something terrible” is so weird and it makes it suspicious for some kind of deception. 

Plus Misha was way too urgent and nervous when he ran upstairs. He definitely did not want us to see who his visitors were. He was also talking and stomping on the stairs while his visitors were loudly greeting each other in the background. He definitely did not want us to hear who his visitors were. Now this is my favorite part. Even though he was hiding us or his visitors, he was having a good time doing it but I don't think he wanted us to know that. He was trying not to smile. He was suppressing smiles when he was running up the stairs and for a lot of the second half of the video but especially when discussing the dangers of live streaming. The suppressed smile on the stairs actually makes sense because it could have been because he was probably happy and excited about seeing his visitors and/or finding humor in the whole ridiculous situation. It could be for other various reasons, including the one I am about to talk about, but you can’t be sure because the loud women were legitimately funny, thus smiling is an appropriate display. But the smile that he tried to suppress that slipped out in his “something terrible” speech was a different kind of suppressed smile. I believe he was displaying something known in the nonverbal world as duping delight.

Duping delight is when a smile leaks out when we fool or dupe someone with a lie, partial truth or when we are withholding information, like a secret. Some people subconsciously or semi-consciously occasionally take delight in such a ruse and obviously a suppressed smile is indicative of that pleasure and thrill they experience in tricking others or in doing some other act of deception. But this smile has to be out of place and inappropriate and since there was nothing else going on that would normally produce a smile (like the loud ladies), and because he did display a cluster of other deceptive body signals along with his duping delight, I really do think he was delighting in his clever deceptions. But was he all that successful? Because as hard as Misha tried not to show his joy in deceiving us, he just couldn’t completely shut it down. But that’s understandable if it were actually “something terrible” as Jensen and his brood that he was trying to keep secret. I would be delighting so fucking much in that dupe, too, if I were that lucky. 

[mastcomm]

The N.B.A. Embraces a ‘Trash’ Defense

A new year, at the start of a new decade, makes this a natural time for N.B.A. teams to search for innovative ways to combat the offensive flourish of the previous decade.

Yet as disconsonant as it sounds, especially for a league reputed to be as progressive as the N.B.A., its coaches are increasingly dipping into the past for a defensive alignment that tends to be branded as antiquated or, worse, collegiate.

“There’s definitely more use of zone this season,” said Dallas Mavericks Coach Rick Carlisle. “Offenses are getting so good that if you can come up with some kind of defense that can upset rhythm a little bit, it’s viewed as a positive thing.”

Overall usage of zone defenses — schemes that call for defenders to guard a specific area of space rather than an opposing player — is up 50 percent from last season, according to Synergy Sports data. The increase per possession is 10.8 percent, according to data provided to N.B.A. teams by Second Spectrum. A leaguewide average of 2.3 zone possessions per game remains modest, but the rise Carlisle referenced is more tangibly reflected by the number of teams regarded as regular zone practitioners.

Dallas, Toronto, Washington, Charlotte and the Los Angeles Clippers have joined Miami and the Nets as teams known to utilize zone schemes 4 to 10 percent of the time, according to Synergy. The Heat and Nets were outliers last season, employing zone schemes on 10.9 percent and 8.4 percent of their defensive possessions, according to Second Spectrum.

The stigma against zone schemes is strong, because turning to a zone alignment has long been regarded in the N.B.A. as a sign of weakness — gimmickry to cover up for poor individual defenders. Clippers Coach Doc Rivers recently suggested that Glenn Whittenberg, his former high school coach at Proviso East in Maywood, Ill., was likely “rolling over in his grave right now” in response to the amount of zone Rivers is using.

“He thought zone was a weak man’s game,” Rivers said.

The Hall of Fame guard Gary Payton still does. Payton retired in 2007, but the smothering guard unforgettably known as “The Glove” remains a passionate critic of zones at the pro level — even though his son Gary Payton II of the Washington Wizards happens to play for the N.B.A. team using more zone than anyone (9.8 percent of the time, per Synergy).

“Trash,” Gary Payton said in a phone interview. “That’s a cop-out. Why do college teams go to a zone? Because they can’t guard anybody.”

The Wizards’ No. 30 defensive rating through Thursday (Washington was allowing 115.4 points per 100 possessions) appears to support Payton’s contention. Yet in Toronto, Coach Nick Nurse has a roster filled with elite defenders, which has encouraged Nurse to not only embrace zones but also experiment with a variety of defenses rarely seen at the pro level.

In one memorable Game 2 sequence of the 2019 N.B.A. finals, Nurse unleashed “box-and-one” coverage on Golden State’s Stephen Curry — four players in a square-shaped zone, with Fred VanVleet shadowing Curry as closely as possible.

As the league’s defending champion, Toronto has countered injuries to key figures such as Pascal Siakam, Marc Gasol and Kyle Lowry this season with half-court double-teaming of Houston’s James Harden, 1-2-1-1 zone pressing and more box-and-one that, according to conventional N.B.A. wisdom, should not work against most skilled offensive players on the planet.

The Raptors have also mixed in a good bit of 2-3 zone — two defenders at the top with a row of three behind them — in securing the No. 2 spot in defensive rating despite all of their health woes.

“I think we have seen that some of these other defenses have worked,” said Nurse, whose Raptors are on a surprising 53-win pace even after losing the finals M.V.P. Kawhi Leonard in free agency. “For parts of games, anyway.”

After Leonard’s arrival — along with the acquisition of Paul George to join the tenacious Patrick Beverley and mobile frontcourt players such as Montrezl Harrell, Maurice Harkless and JaMychal Green — Rivers decided that the Clippers’ roster composition compelled him to think more openly about zones.

“We have a switchable basketball team for the first time in my career,” Rivers said, referring to the ability of similarly sized players to easily switch onto a different offensive player in the midst of a possession.

The Clippers, as a result, have used zone looks on 4 percent of their defensive possessions, according to Second Spectrum, and, like Carlisle’s Mavericks, have held the opposition to less than a point per possession when in a zone setup.

Beverley has said that, despite his own Payton-like determination to harass other guards, he has no issues when Rivers calls for zones. He played for nearly four seasons in Europe before establishing himself in the N.B.A., and zone defense is much more prevalent in leagues overseas.

Rivers, though, admits he will sometimes refer to it as a “flex zone” — or “more of a switching defense than a zone” — to encourage player acceptance.

The potential payoff of a well-executed zone is clear, despite the vulnerabilities it exposes in terms of rebounding and surrendering open shots. A good zone, at least for a time, can create confusion, inspire hesitation and potentially dislodge offensive supernovas such as Harden and Curry from their comfort zones.

Thanks to a lack of dependable perimeter shooters around the All-Star big man Joel Embiid, no team faces more zones than the Philadelphia 76ers. The most notable culprit for inviting that strategy is Ben Simmons, Embiid’s fellow All-Star, who has attempted only five 3-pointers all season — sinking two after shooting 0-for-17 from deep over his first two N.B.A. seasons.

The Athletic reported in December that the Sixers saw a zone on 156 possessions in a three-game stretch against Miami, Dallas and Washington over a four-day span. According to Synergy Sports data used in the report, 21 of the league’s 30 teams faced fewer than 156 possessions of zone defense for the entire 2018-19 season.

“We’ve seen so much innovation and change offensively over the last five years,” Toronto’s Nurse said. “It only makes sense that teams are going to try things and look for things defensively to counter that.”

The limited practice time teams enjoy in the modern game makes it challenging for coaches to implement zone coverages, because they typically require additional preparation and increased communication among the defenders. But that didn’t stop the Los Angeles Lakers, No. 3 in the league in defensive rating, from springing a surprise on Carlisle’s Mavericks on Jan. 10.

In a move right out of the Mavericks’ playbook, with the former Dallas guard Jason Kidd now on the bench as an assistant to Lakers Coach Frank Vogel, Los Angeles used a zone for numerous possessions in the second quarter in an attempt to short-circuit the rising Dallas star Luka Doncic’s usual pick-and-roll effectiveness — and then fell back into man-to-man coverage as soon as the Mavericks made their first pass. It’s a ploy Dallas used frequently against LeBron James and the Miami Heat in the 2011 N.B.A. finals, in which the Mavericks upset Miami in six games.

But James was on the winning side this time, with the Lakers rolling up a 21-point lead in the first half in an eventual 129-114 road win despite the absence of an ailing Anthony Davis.

The Mavericks, to this day, believe they would not have won their lone championship without substantial doses of zone. For all the talk that N.B.A. shooters are simply too proficient for teams to stay in zones for long, Carlisle expects zone defense to continue its comeback in the second half of the season.

“It’s been very cyclical in the last eight or nine years,” Carlisle said. “But the teams that are using it are using it with effectiveness. And you have to prepare for it. If you’re not prepared for it, you’re going to be up against it.”

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