#anyway enjoy yet another gifset of this scene

[bird-inacage]

After your last gifset (the sun vs moon one) and in light of the two preview clips we get from next week - Sand shutting Ray's request to be friends down and Ray having his little jealous fit at the party - I keep thinking about the fight at Sand's apartment from the trailer. And what I think I'd like (but am sadly not convinced will happen, because why would they cause us the least pain?) is for that fight to happen after the party jealousy episode, and be because Ray's finally confronting some level of his feelings for Sand. What I'm imagining in my best-case scenario is: Ray has his jealous fit and goes to talk to Sand afterwards, with the intention of keeping Sand on the hook/reinstating the flirtation even though it isn't going to go anywhere. (I don't think he'd encourage outright cheating because that instantly = no more Mew.) Sand turns that down flat because "Do you think I have no dignity?" as per the OST clip. And Ray has another jealous/entitled meltdown and says he doesn't even want to be with Sand anyway, he wishes he'd never met him, and he bets those grapes were sour anyway etc etc. Anyway, I don't think it will happen, but I like the idea on the grounds of a) Sand having a backbone! Yes please! and b) continuing to set up Ray's inevitable full-bore bitch fit if/when the ex shows back up. I thought you might enjoy that scenario too!

Haha, Hello Anon! 👋

Firstly, I do hope Sand stands his ground. He's given Ray A LOT of chances. If he starts wavering, I'll flip a goddamn table. Sand needs to stick up for himself, but also narratively Ray has to feel the threat of Sand distancing to ever recognise his own feelings.

What I anticipate is things with Mew start to get a little rocky. Whilst Top is doing his level best to win Mew back, that's potentially when Sand's ex enters the scene. Timing wise, Sand is going to be much more susceptible to an old flame trying to rekindle whilst he's bouncing back from Ray. He's not in too deep yet to be opposed to the idea of moving onto someone else. So this is where the ex could do the most damage. Sand is a man of principle so if the ex showed up whilst he and Ray were already together, I don't think he'd be as easily swayed. Which is why I'd be inclined to expect the ex to show up before Ray and Sand have identified each other as lovers.

Now if that does happen, Ray is going to have an existential crisis. He finally has Mew, and yet he's not happy. He's seething. He's bothered. Perhaps Mew notices how worked up Ray seems to be over this.

What leads to the fight scene in Sand's apartment has to be pretty considerable. This fight looks 10x more brutal than the one outside the bar. And due to the sheer devastation in Sand's reactions throughout, I'm not sure this will take place next episode. I think whatever tension is brewing between them will need to escalate much, much more if it's to go from somewhat numb to utter anguish.

"You think my life will be better with you? It's only f*cking going down to hell." The dialogue could be read either as 'oh you think I'd be better off with you as my boyfriend instead of someone else (e.g. Mew)?' or 'you really think you would make my life better?' (in a more general sense).

But yes, I'm all for Ray going on a steady trajectory of losing his mind over Sand giving him the cold shoulder. Added in with the likelihood of things just not working out at all with Mew, and potentially Sand's ex rocking up. *Rubs hands together* I just need to see Ray jealous. That's all I really want. That boy was behaving way too cocky in the Episode 8 preview and he needs to be brought back down to earth. Swiftly.

Thanks for the ask! 😉

---birdie

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: “Rise of the Old Masters“

Happy Father’s Day!  Rather appropriately we are talking about a keystone Kanan-Ezra episode today.  I swear I didn’t plan that, just how the timing worked out, lol.

Anyway...

I briefly mentioned this in my coverage of “Spark of Rebellion” but one of the reoccurring elements that tend to crop up in all my favorite characters (because I’m horribly predictable and have a Type) is:

“Has complicated yet ultimately heartwarming storgeic relationship with (surrogate) father figure.”

Soooooooo yeah, Kanan and Ezra pretty much hit me right in that particular button.

Poor Kanan fumbling with the lessons that came so instinctively to him. XD

“Actually that one always confused me too.”  Love that Kanan can admit it.

Kanan’s approach is almost adorable in how inept it is, he’s just kind of throwing things against the wall hoping something will stick.  In perhaps the worst environment to do any of this.

(Seriously Kanan, on top of the Ghost, while it’s in midair?!  Disaster was inevitable.)

Hhhngl, look how Ezra’s eyes light up when Kanan offers him the lightsaber, he’s so eager for this.

Another quick instance of Ezra flinching as if anticipating being hit, watch close and you can see he ducks his head as well as squeezes his eyes closed briefly.

Kanan forgot to teach good weapons safety lol.

Ezra actually gets a few cartons when he peeks. :)

Aaaaaand down he goes, certain unmentioned uncharitable portions of fandom will not let up on Kanan about this particular series of mistakes.

Is practicing on top of the Ghost irresponsible child endangerment?  Yes but... that’s literally the point?????  Kanan has no idea what he’s doing and makes horrible mistakes left and right?????  That’s why he’s so afraid and reluctant to teach Ezra?????  That’s his whole motivation for wanting to go get Luminara?????

Oh but if characters do not relate to each other absolutely perfectly without any friction or conflict or mistakes whatsoever that’s horrible and toxic.

Said at least one Maul stan without a hint of irony.

Okay, done salting, let’s enjoy this moment of Ezra trying to play it cool in front of Sabine despite being in eminent danger of falling to his death.

“What, no, this is nothing.  I’m fine.” XD

Fun fact: Pretty sure a gifset of this moment was one of the first Rebels-related posts I ever saw on my dashboard.

Hera looks very concerned here, lol.

And our first glimpse of what a Loth-cat looks like.  Cutest addition to the Star Wars menagerie ever.

Ezra’s theme is piping in here, fragmented and quiet.

*resists the urge to go into another ranting paragraph about how uncharitable parties in fandom use this scene to argue that the Ghost crew are actually terrible towards Ezra and don’t care about him properly*

Once again, everything in the eyes.  So much is unspoken but conveyed with just a look.

Friiiiiiick his expression here breaks my heart.

Casually referencing the events of last episode which should have been fandom’s first clue that it was more narratively tied into things than they thought and also introducing a new story element that plays out later.  I don’t remember what I thought about Gall Trayvis the first time around, I’m pretty sure I found it weird and fishy though.

Ha ha ha the casual Fridge Horror of the Imperial broadcaster talking about a “planetary liberation” via Base Delta Zero protocol.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO MIGHT NOT KNOW: Base Delta Zero is basically code for “Have a bunch of Star Destroyers systematically incinerate everything on a planet’s surface from orbit.”

Soooooo yeah, there’s probably not much left of that particular “liberated” world.

Kind of interesting that Ezra chooses to confide in Chopper about his fears here.

I do like the nice cloud effects.

Kanan is in a very serious mood here, one we haven’t seen from him yet.  Speaks to the depths of how badly he wants this to succeed.

Badass Stormtrooper takedown immediately ruined by feral gremlin child. <3

Aaaaaand yet another instance of Ezra flinching like he expects Kanan to hit him.  Just what exactly caused such a pronounced startle effect, exactly?

Don’t think about bby Ezra growing up on the streets, don’t think about bby Ezra growing up on the streets--

Ezra looks so crestfallen here ow ow ow ow. :(

Hera shivers as if it’s cold, which could be taken straightforwardly but also I like to think she senses the bad vibes about the place.

Oh hey, now’s a good time to remind people of the horrible headcanon theory someone sent me about why Kanan can still sense Luminara even though she’s dead.

You’re welcome.

LOOK AT THIS TIRED FATHER AND HIS THREE HORRIBLE CHILDREN.  Love how Zeb and Sabine openly roast him while he’s right there, terrible influences on Ezra the both of you. XD

Snrk, the one Stormtrooper getting his helmet caught in the lift doors lololol.

The music has been periodically sparse throughout this episode, the quiet parts giving all focus to dialogue, but it’s picked up quite a bit here.

I hear the Force Theme strings prelude of course.

It is physically painful how much Ezra already hero-worships Kanan and looks up to him.  He didn’t want to learn how to be a Jedi from just anyone, he wanted to learn from Kanan specifically because thinks Kanan is so cool and amazing.  Ezra is constantly in awe of him this episode.

But, I mean, is it any wonder that an emotionally vulnerable teenage boy with deeply-seated abandonment issues would latch onto the first available and positive adult male influence in his life?

The Force theme coming in more fully here to trick us right before the horrible reveal, though the way it sours on the end note is a little five-second musical foreshadowing.

Hi Grand, bringing the Imperial March with you I see.

And then his theme breaks in after the commercial break cut and lemme just appreciate it again, it’s so nicely dark and foreboding.  That tiny little snatch of Force Theme on the trumpet can barely be heard through it, it’s too overpowering.

Grand refrains from going for an easy kill several times this fight.  He likes to play with his food, apparently.  Even toying with Kanan he’s waaaaaay outclassing him, very neat and precise fencing strokes here.

Kanan’s heavy flailing is actually very at odds with his supposed preferred form, Soresu, Form 3, a primarily reflective and defensive form, which makes Grand’s comment about him being a poor student sting a bit more.

Lololol my man doesn’t even flinch at Ezra’s slingshot bolts.

Hngl the smoke element is fantastic here.  Watch it waft around Kanan and Ezra as they run through it.  This is not the kind of effect work you usually get on CGI kids cartoon shows.

Kanan’s form actually improves a bit after the cutaway, his footing is more solid and he’s expending less effort, making his blocking stances more effective at turning back Grand’s blade.  So that jibe from Grand apparently kicked Kanan’s brain into focus.

Oh yep, all those troopers are dead, that is not a survivable explosion.

Kanan’s managing the spinny Jedi flips now; he’s untensing and likely falling back into muscle memory and connection to the Force.  I love how Star Wars tends to depict Jedi survivors getting back into practice after they haven’t picked up their sabers or connected to the Force in a long while, awkward at first but slowly getting the hang of it again, remembering their training, moving through basics into more complex moves until they’re comfortable again.  I know A New Dawn also depicts Kanan tapping into the Force as straining a muscle that hasn’t been used in a while, nice consistency across the board there.

“He is unfocused and undisciplined.”  “Well then we’re perfect for each other!”

And one of my favorite Papa Wolf Kanan moments right here when Kanan slams Grand up against the ceiling. :)

The Force Theme is finally louder and more confident here and Grand’s has taken a pause.

Buuuuuuut it’s soon back in force lol.

I dunno what it is but I really love the animation in Grand’s unflinching run through the closing doors here, even when he has to leap over them he doesn’t even break stride.

Ezra’s slicing and lockpicking skills kind of fall by the wayside as he focuses more on Jedi training, which is kind of a shame, I liked that he was a bit tech-savvy in ways Sabine wasn’t.

Why I like to include little moments here and there in my fics where he still gets to use his talents.

Can I appreciate this little moment of Sabine reaching for him in concern?

Of course I can, who’s going to stop me?

And one of my favorite master-padawan moments right here, Kanan finally giving some solid instruction (”Picture the locking mechanism in your mind.”), doing it with him, and it’s something easy that Ezra can already do albeit on a bigger scale.

A very victorious Force Theme to mark the occasion. :)

Something Rebels does when it needs to emphasize Kanan and Ezra’s connection is basically have them mirror each other’s pose, this is one of the first examples.  Ezra’s straining a little bit more in his expression but they’re perfectly in sync and mirror-matched limb for limb.

WHICH DOESN’T NECESSARILY MAKE THE PARALLELED IMAGERY IN THE FINALE HURT MORE BUT IT ADDS A LAYER.

Ohhhhhhh hang on, does anyone wonder if Hera leading the tibedees here was inspiration for the eventual purrgil surprise?

It’s on theme at least, lol.

I hear the “Rebels Shenanigans” leitmotif here, bit more dramatic than normal, lovely.

Ezra’s theme coming in as we return to Lothal and man, there’s really nothing I could say about this scene that hasn’t already been said, this is one of fandom’s favorites, we can all spill ink about Ezra’s fear of abandonment and Kanan’s sense of inadequacy and how the Force tends to bring together pairs that teach and grow each other.

How Kanan finally figures out and understands what Yoda’s “Do or do not” line means, how it’s all about your mental state, you can’t give up before you’ve started, you have to be all in and fully committed.

How he’s realizing he has to commit to this and not half-ass it and that leads him to adjust his strategy and go much slower and more meticulously in this lovely little last scene which has the distinct look and feel of a father and son playing catch in the yard. ^_^

Our first real “plot-heavy“ episode of the series, heavy on the drama and interpersonal character conflict.  Can see why it’s the episode that convinced a lot of people to stay on board.  It delves much more deeply into Kanan and Ezra’s master-padawan connection, the Found Family aspects of which are, of course, widely loved.  Their relationship was always one of the show’s strengths.  Like Ezra and Zeb’s friendship it starts off rocky but there’s an extra emotional and personal element in that Kanan is the teacher, the “parent”, and they’re both connected to the Force, something no one else can teach Ezra about.  Kanan has to be the one to guide Ezra through that learning process because he’s the only one who understands it, who can bring that aspect out of Ezra and make him truly who he is.

Kanan really starts to step up after this.  He’s still got a LOT of fears and worries and insecurities, as he’ll tell Yoda later, but he’s over his initial mental block now.  All the better for Ezra, for helping him feel wanted and safe. :)

Ahhhh I love this episode, the character growth from this point to the end is just *chef kiss*.  More worried spacedad Kanan up next week, hopefully I’ll have that post up quicker than this one.

Coming in last minute like my newborn last month oy.

[ronsenthal]

hi! do you have tips and advice for making gifs? i love your gifs so much!

awww thank you so much, that really means a lot to me as I'm still rusty and a bit insecure because I've learned how to make gifs like 10 years ago? things didn't changed that much in terms of method and yet it's still scary, but at the end people like you make it worth!! 🥺🥺🥺

a little disclaimer: I'm colorblind, I can see colors okay! but I just see them a little bit different than most people so sometimes my edits may seem a little weird and that's the reason

Okay It will definitely be a long answer so I'll put under the cut ☺️

My advices would be:

- Just go for whatever scene you like the most, and try to focus on things you enjoy. I like to gif what I love, things I find beautiful as it gives me so much joy to look at the final result 😌

- Fortunately tumblr is full of people willing to share their knowledge and skills and there is lots and lots of blogs with the main theme being tutorials or even inspo and sources, so I always try to follow them to keep up with whatever is trending and just to learn new tricks and tips, some of my faves are @completeresources @gifmakerresource @allresources and @chaoticresources

- Be patient with yourself, if you are trying a tutorial and it is giving you a hard fight you can always stop and try again another time. It happened to me more than once that a tutorial or a particular idea I was trying gave me such a bad fight that I ended up so frustrated, exhausted, angry and feeling shitty but then I would pick another time to give it try and the thing worked hahahaha, so don't forget to respect your time and wellbeing

In terms of tips and tricks:

- Always use high quality videos, like the best quality available as it really makes a difference in terms of the final result

- Oh always resize your gifs!!! I use the crop tool and then I adjust the image size to keep it high quality, I think this is BY FAR the best tutorial as it explains quite well if you are new to editing

- So far I have tried many many different methods over the years, my fav is to cut the scenes I want to edit and for this use any video editing software really and after choosing a couple of scenes I import all of them to Photoshop (my version is the 2022 edition) and then I use the video timeline method (i don't really remember where I learned it but I found this really good tutorial that might be helpful)

- I slow down the gifs I make (idk how to explain it in english I'm sorry) but I set the speed for something in between 50% to 70%, depending on the scene

- In terms of colouring I don't really have a specific preset or fav PSD, I adjust them one by one just trying to focus on what the scene gives and then I work my way around it depending on what I'm trying to achieve or how do I want my gifset to look like (a good example was the Ron one on my last gifset i didn't wanted to look so yellow as it would be too different from the other gifs, it was a nightmare) BUT I guess I tend to use lots and lots of adjustment layers like I start with brightness/contrast, curves, and levels and then I proceed to selective colors, hue, vibration and saturation, sometimes I even use gradients and/or solid color layers with different blending options like soft light, overlay, opacity and fill settings to correct colors (I always use the color wheel principles of opposites and/or complementaries)

- Use smart sharpening!!! Peopel are so brilliant that they gave us actions, it is literally just a click away from all the trouble to do it manually, and it speeds up my process. Personally I have been using this amazing one I found quite recently, and it's really doing wonders to my edits

anyway thank you so much for being so kind and supportive, my ask box and dm are always open if you have any doubts or just want to exchange ideas. Really hope it helps you ❤️

[awesomejustgotawesome]

Hey everyone! Big news! Well, repeated news. I MADE ANOTHER NEW BLOG, THIS TIME FOR MARVEL GIFS!

This one’s for all my Marvel gifs. If you know me you know I love Marvel, always wanted to get back into giffing it but never did. I had a really old blog when I first started that I haven’t used in many years before I was even using PhotoShop to make gifs hahah.

But this one’s great! Although it’s not 100% complete (haven’t added the tag lists yet or a proper header), it’s got one post queued that looks really good if I do say so myself. So if you like Marvel I’ll be posting gifs there whenever I find the time.

I don’t think I’m ever gonna add text to the gifs, never gonna gif scenes and dialogue. Cause that’s how all my gifs are on my other blogs, and it’s way more time consuming. Also those just aren’t the gifs I want to make, plenty of other people gif moments like that anyway and I just have no desire to do so. I LOVE gifsets that are just a moment with a character, and ones that are color focused. So that’s what I’m going for. Gonna be big gifs and small ones, but yeah, just really cool gifsets focused on that stuff. You know the ones I mean? Probably not explaining it well hahah.

But anyway hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy making them.

[haughttopics]

Each touch. Every kiss.

[logicheartsoul]

I didn’t expect to be back here so soon but I blame my friend @spones-in-my-bones​ for putting one of the “Sam & Bucky going to fix the engine” gifsets on my dash and someone in the tags there made a comment saying that it looked like Bucky was gonna put his hand on Sam’s waist and then stopped himself.

So, yet again, my mind was like it’s time for another round of “Where’s Bucky’s hand?”!

Personal space? What’s that?

Now to actually checking the scene out, here we go.

Apparently tumblr ate this first screenshot so I had to go and edit it back in but uh... out of context, it’s certainly something. (Also why it has slightly different coloring than the rest of these)

The next shot after this he puts his hand on the crowbar so like... no hand on the waist action (but can’t really rule out the accidental right hand brushing Sam’s backside thing, believe what your heart desires on that one)

But I have to say zooming in, their wrists and fingers are actually very close to each other

I do believe that is within “I can feel your body heat that’s how close I am in your personal bubble” range

Also these next two shots have no relevance to the actual point of the post I just thought 1) I love seeing in-between shots/goofy expressions coz it makes things more real to me imo and that’s always a nice feeling and 2) Sam Wilson is so pretty and his eyelashes jeez

Anyways, hope you enjoyed the post (and Sam Wilson’s beautiful face)

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?

scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!

for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)

anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)

derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.

i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!

i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.

dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).

i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.

all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.

date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.

4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.

3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)

3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.

dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah

nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!

i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.

oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.

[plaidbooks]

Well I'm going to be greedy and ask for more then one, but any one will do! I would love to find Nick, Rafi, Sonny or Bryan under my mistletoe 🥰

4 Scenes

A/N: Sorry I’m posting late! It’s still Christmas here, so I’m on time, dammit! Anyways, why limit myself to one of these handsome men, when we can do mini-fics of all four?? Shoutout to @thatesqcrush, who beta’d the Bryan section for me, since I have never written him, nor seen The Good Fight (I only know him from gifsets and fics whoops). Enjoy!

These are 4 separate stories, not reader cheating on 4 guys. The stories are also in order of the ask: Nick, Rafi, Sonny, Bryan, if you wanna skip someone!

Tags: allusions to smut, otherwise just some fluff

Words: 1128

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @reading--mermaid @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @dianilaws

Nick Amaro

You were flying over the floor after a perp, Nick hot on your heels, tearing through a mall full of people trying to do last minute shopping before Christmas. “Move!” you shouted at the people, who were either shoved out of the way, or happened to look at the commotion and shuffled quickly backwards as you chased your man. The man ducked into a Hallmark store, and you followed. Once in the store, Nick went left and you went right, cornering the perp in the back aisle. The man, realizing he was trapped, rushed you, trying to push by you. But you were ready for him, slamming your shoulder into his sternum, forcing the air from his lungs. While he was struggling for a breath, you quickly pulled his hands behind his back, cuffing him.

“Great job, babe,” Nick smiled at you, panting slightly. You grinned at him, catching your breath as you read the perp his rights, and leading him out of the store. Fin and Olivia met you at the store entrance, and you turned him over to your superiors, Nick coming to stand proudly next to you.

You glanced up at Nick, noticing a small bit of green behind him, hanging in the arch of the store entrance. You smiled at him, nodding towards it. “Mistletoe.”

Nick turned to look at the plant hanging innocently from the ceiling before locking eyes with you once more, a smirk on his face. He tugged you close, kissing you deeply, his tongue pushing into your mouth. You smiled against his lips, hand going to thread through his hair.

“Get a room you two,” Fin commented, rolling his eyes.

Nick pulled back, also grinning, and you murmured, “oh, we will.”

Nick gave you another quick kiss before saying, “see, this is why I married you.”

 Rafael Barba

“Dinner was amazing, Mrs. Barba; thank you,” you said, picking up your plate. You and Rafael cleared the table, not allowing Lucia a chance to clean the dishes—she cooked, you were going to clean.

“Thank you for coming; I’m glad I was finally allowed to meet you,” she replied, giving Rafael a pointed look, making him shift uncomfortably. You stifled a giggle, drying the dishes as Rafael washed them. Once they were done, you both moved back towards her living room. It was getting late, and you were both ready to head home, to bed.

Rafael held your coat open for you, letting you put your arms into the sleeves before he placed it on your shoulders. Then he went to Lucia, hugging her and kissing her cheek, saying, “thank you for dinner, Mamí. I love you. I’ll call you Sunday, okay? After mass.”

“I love you, too, mijo,” Lucia grinned at him. Rafael came back to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, but Lucia stopped you both with a tsking noise, pointing up. “Rafi, you know the rules.”

You both followed her finger, seeing a little bustle of mistletoe hanging above you. Rafael’s ears turned pink as his eyes found yours. It’s not that you hadn’t kissed before, but it felt awkward with his mother watching. Nevertheless, Rafael leaned in, giving you a sweet, chaste kiss. You grinned against his lips, unable to help yourself—kissing Rafael always made you giddy.

Once outside in the cold, the snow falling gently around you, Rafael said, “thank you for tonight—Mamí would not let it go that she hadn’t met you yet.”

“It’s fine, Rafi; I love your mom. And I can see where your cooking skills come from,” you replied, making him chuckle. “Now can we please get out of the cold?”

“Mmm, don’t worry, cariño. I’ll take you home and warm you up,” Rafael promised, his voice low and his arm tightening around your shoulders.

 Sonny Carisi

You giggled, uncaring that it was 2am, or that you were waiting for a pot of water to boil for Kraft mac n cheese. All that mattered was your goofball boyfriend, whose hands were clasping yours, as he danced with you in the kitchen. Sonny’s laughs matched yours as you both waltzed around the space, Frank Sinatra playing on your phone. Sonny pulled you close, dipping you, and you let out a peal of laughter.

“Don’t drop me!” you gasped, and he brought you back up.

“Never,” he promised, spinning you. As the song ended, and your giggles died out, you leaned against the doorframe of your kitchen, panting. Sonny came to lean against the other side of the frame, also out of breath. Your eyes connected, that lopsided smile on his face, a matching one on yours. Your lips crashed together, the kiss sloppy as you were both still giggling, hands trailing along each other’s bodies.

You pulled back, breathless, smiling at your boyfriend. “There’s a mistletoe above you,” you murmured.

“I know; I put it there for a reason,” Sonny replied, pulling you back in for another kiss, full of giggles and affection.

Bryan Kneef 

Against his wishes, you put up some decorations in Bryan’s office; only a little, 2’ tree in the corner and some tinsel on the wall. You were in the process of hanging a mistletoe in his doorway when you heard his clipped footsteps coming down the hallway. Crap, you had wanted to be well away from his office before he found out about the decorations. Bryan appeared just as you were coming back down from standing on your tiptoes, mistletoe hanging innocently above you. His green eyes narrowed as he took in the decorations.

“What the hell did you do to my office?” he asked, voice dangerous.

You swallowed nervously. “I just thought I’d make it a little more festive in here.”

Bryan glanced at the mistletoe before his eyes locked with yours, his eyebrow raising. “Oh? Hoping for a kiss under the mistletoe, are we?”

You and Bryan had only recently started sleeping together, and you still had yet to figure out his moods, his…games. So, you cautiously answered, “y-yes?”

The wolfish smirk he gave you made the hairs rise on the back of your neck. “Fine, but you have to do something for me,” he growled. Giving you no time to respond, Bryan grabbed the back of your head, lips crashing to yours hard enough to bruise. You gasped and his tongue was in your mouth as he dominated the kiss. Just as quickly as it started, he pulled away, moving into his office, your eyes still closed in bliss, panting slightly.

Bryan moved to his desk, sitting in his chair. “Close and lock the door,” he ordered. “I want you in front of me, on your knees, before I count to three.” You raised your eyebrow at him—surely he wasn’t serious—and that predatory grin returned. “One…two…”

[captainrexs]

waves

Hello again! I keep forgetting to just say hi, and apologize for that, heh! I hope you are doing alright and well, and having a good week!

If you feel like sharing, what are your thoughts on the Bad Batch show in general? Which episodes were your favorite and who are your favorite characters in the show, and of the Batch themselves?

For me, I'm very conflicted on the show.... I love the Batch and the dynamic they had from their TCW episodes, but I feel like that was stripped away and forgotten... I loved Aftermath, and enjoy that episode so much, but the rest? I don't know... it's conflicting, especially when Aftermath and the finale ended with the same dynamic and no real improvement in characters or development.

I have been lazy and haven't gone through many of the episodes for my favorite nerd yet, but I do have at least four (?) from the first episode of their TCW appearance, "The Bad Batch" that I was wondering if you would be open to giffing?

If so, I have time stamps and descriptions for them, and always love the time and patience you have with my silliness. It always makes my day seeing your response to my ask, and the gifs, and I enjoy seeing your thoughts on stuff :)

Scenes from TCW S7, Ep. 1. You don't have to do the subtitles if you don't want, as I don't mind the gifs without, just as I don't mind when they are there! Whatever you feel like <3 :

13:05-13:12 and 13:16-13:20 (the campfire scene where Tech talks about Hunter's enhancements and boasts about his older brother. I really like that scene and the lighting, and I am not certain if you've giffed that?)

15:39-15:40 (I don't remember what this scene is and, considering how short it is, don't bother if you don't feel like this giffing this one! I think this is possibly where Tech talks to Rex over the comms, I don't remember, sorry T.T)

19:56-20:05 (definitely don't remember what scene this is but I *think* it's sometime before they access Echo's file or before... I forgot to write the descriptions when I logged this timestamps into my drafts, and I apologize for that T.T)

22:52-23:03 (This scene is where Tech asks Rex what the numbers meant from Echo's message, as Tech's expression is actually fairly interesting to watch as he listens/watches Rex responding to his question).

As always, I deeply appreciate the time you put into every gifset I ask from, and I always smile and have an immediately better day when I see your response and beautiful gifs of my silly nerd <3

Thank you so, so much, and - as always - I apologize if I ever bother you <3

hi!! I have been having a busy week again and my next one will probably also be quite busy but the one after that should be very chill so I'm very much looking forward to that right now 😅. I hope you're doing good!! I think my favourite episode was probably Battle Scars because I love Rex and also because they finally took care of their chips and Wreckers chip was a concern that had been building up for long enough for me at that point 😅, I also loved both ryloth episodes because Hera is one of my favourite star wars characters and getting to see her mom was great and Howzer was a nice addition as well imo. War-Mantle was another episode I really liked and aside from the kanan comics retcon I liked Aftermath as well. my favourite batcher is probably Echo, but probably because of tcw since he didn't get a lot of moments in tbb but I did love the ones he had. but I like the other ones as well, Omega is an interesting addition that I didn't expect, Wrecker is hard to explain but he just seems like a very genuine and good person (not that the others don't, but like if I needed someone to help me move I'd probably ask him, does that make sense? I really don't know how to explain it), I also loved his dynamic with Tech because I think they had the most sibling like dynamic out of all of them, speaking of Tech, I think he's the most interesting when he has to think outside the box, I like it when booksmart characters have to use their knowledge in different ways then they'd expect and watching Hunter bond with Omega was very heartwarming and I think he did a good job at being a leader and trying to figure out how to move forward and balance the teams different opinions. I'm not a big fan of the setup of the first and last episode being nearly identical (but the bad batch have AZI now, I do love that), so lets hope things develop in season 2, maybe we'll get lucky and Crosshair won't tell the empire they've survived which would give the batch some room to figure out what they actually wanna do now. your request has been posted here, I actually haven't gifed the first eight episodes of season 7 much in general since I was still pretty new to giffing when they were released and I haven't gone back to those as much as I have to the Siege of Mandalore and the gifs I did make at the time were on my old account, so they're kinda difficult to find now and they weren't very good anyways 😅. as always, I appreciate your sweet message and the time stamps and you are never a bother ❤

[zhoufeis]

Do you have any favourite gifmakers in the Julie and the Phantoms fandom?

Indeed I do. Lemme point out though that we have tons of nice gifmakers in this fandom. No one is perfect and there is no such a thing as a perfect gif. Most gifmakers have a certain style they stick with and develop and improve. I try to gif various styles since I usually get inspired by others and then wanna see if I can do something similar to what they have done so nicely. So the following list is of people who have come across my dash various times and I would go “wooowwww, I wanna be able to do this”. Their styles are rather different from each other but I enjoy all of them and how these certain people work with these styles. What’s not in here are people who oversaturate, oversharpen, overdo gradient colorings, or have too much movement because each gif consists of 5 different gifs. I do love colorful gifs, I do love blending, I also love dark-ish gifs and I appreciate natural colorings so much. But I want it to be aesthetically pleasing. And these people I mention, they’re inspirations to me.

@lettersdeeplyworn If you ask which gifsets most likely appear on my dash and I get JEALOUS of how cleanly and perfectly and artistically the gifs are edited and I literally don’t even know how some of the things are done on Photoshop, very high chance the gifset is Gabi’s. Never talked to her, I believe. But I admire her from afar.

@gillespiecharlie Cece. Never talked to her either. I think I may have tagged her in a bunch of my ugly edits, which I’m very sorry for. Her gifs are clean, lit, and yet, she’s got a way with colors. I really adore this style. Because it’s so clean, I also suppose it has to do with the sharpening, I don’t know, but she still somehow manages to intentionally apply colors and... it still looks clean??? Like how even??? The more color goes into my gifsets, the less clean my gifs get. So, once again, I’m so freaking jealous of this style.

@stydixa Talking about clean gifs, Adeline is the queen of those. I admire her style because she can lit make EVERY scene look natural and clean. It doesn’t matter how badly the source material was oversaturated or undersaturated or too bright or too dark or anything. You give her a scene, she can gif it naturally. As if it was supposed to be exactly like that.

@charligillespie (@lucifersmorningstars) Another very talented person in this fandom is Engy. I think she hasn’t reblogged me once but no hard feelings, I just lowkey need attention. But she’s very talented. Her range of giffing is somewhere between the two people mentioned before. I don’t know, seeing her gifs on my dash always makes me smile because you can just tell that she knows what she’s doing.

@sunsetscurve Once again, this leads me to Haia who is yet another talented person who is able to gif scenes incredibly natural, clean and without the lack of contrasts. Very jealous of her giffing style as well. Every 540px gif she makes just slays.

@beccs and @danisclayton are cross-fandom blogs for me whom I have reblogged/queued for other fandoms as well. Clean and nice, every fandom’s heroes for making edits that look natural and perfect.

@kennyortegas is the most colorful gifmaker on this list. Lee enjoys colors, clearly, and also uses gradients sometimes but she never exaggerates. I really enjoy her gifs because the style she’s using is usually not my favorite, but she does her gifs in a way that I admire her style anyway, very much, actually. So <3

@carolineeforbes I don’t know her. She’s useless. Most useless person on earth. The reason why I don’t reblog her is because I’m a lazy btch and she has accepted that. As I said, I don’t know her. Haven’t known her for some years. She steals my giffing styles. No, she doesn’t. She improves them, actually, which is very bothersome and makes me very jealous and competitive. Anyway, like me, she doesn’t really have one certain giffing style. She’s my artsy soulmate, so we try to create unique and special colorings, while getting inspired by people as the ones above. Anny’s an artistically free spirit in giffing therefore and I love all of her things. Too bad she hasn’t made more gifs of JatP yet.

P.S.: If you’re not on the list, it either means I haven’t come across your gifsets (solution: tag me in your edits) or I just know your gifs are amazing and I admire you for improving your Photoshop skills constantly. This here is just a personal preference of gifmakers that I simply admire a looooot. All of you gifmakers out there are amazing and who am I to judge anyway?

[alipeeps]

New tag game: Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game

Thanks to @minmoyu for tagging me and ooof, are you sure you’re ready for this?!! :D I have been around/in fandom for a loooooong time and at first I thought, okay, no way I can list all my crushes, there have been SO many and we’ll be here all day but then as I started compiling a list I found I was having fun reminiscing and decided, what the heck, yeah, let’s do em all... or at least all I can remember! :D

There have absolutely for sure been other more minor crushes and passing fancies along the way, but these are the big ones that I remember (and that, in more recent years, I can track by going through my posted fanfics on AO3 and even *shudder* FFNET and seeing which shows I was into enough to want to write fic about the characters).

[Quick note: with rare exceptions, for actors I am listing them by the character they played rather than just the actor. Whilst there are actors that I like in multiple roles (and conversely, characters who on paper I would normally be into but are played by actors who do nothing for me, and hence the character generally does nothing for me either), for the most part it is the character I really have the crush on.]

I’m going to put this under a readmore cos it has gotten ridiculously long:

So... without further ado:

1. MORTEN HARKET from a-ha - OKay so, dating myself badly here but... I had the *biggest* crush on Morten Harket when I was a teenager. Pretty much the entirety of my side of the bedroom I shared with my sister was covered in posters of a-ha, and Morten in particular. I even had a heart-shaped Morten Harket pillow! :D I loved a-ha’s music (still do!) and I wanted to go see them in concert when I was 14 but my parents wouldn’t let me (*sob*). I did finally get to see them in concert in the early 2000s and they were BRILLIANT live (and Morten was still very very pretty)! 

2. RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON as MACGYVER - MacGyver is the first tv character I remember being really into and having a crush on, to the extent that I would record episodes of the show off the tv (onto VHS tape - yes, I am *that* old!) so that I could rewatch them (especially the ones where he got hurt - yeah, I was a whumper even then! :D)

3. KEIFER SUTHERLAND - One of my rare exceptions. I think I first saw him in Lost Boys (and loved him in that film) but it was his role as Doc Scurlock in Young Guns that really made me fall for both the character and him. I definitely remember seeking out any and all films he was in and buying any magazine he was interviewed in (and knowing far more facts about him than was probably healthy! :D) and even drawing a fanart portrait of him. :)

4. KYLE MACLACHLAN as SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER - I remember hearing about Twin Peaks before it started airing in the UK and it sounded so different and interesting... I watched it from the very first episode and very quickly developed a crush on Coop.  

5. BRENT SPINER as DATA - I think ST: TNG had been airing for a while before I stumbled across it but I quickly became hooked and Data was my favourite character right from the start. I definitely remember at one point buying an (unofficial) episode guide book so that I could look up which episodes were good Data-focused ones (especially ones where he got hurt! :D) so I could go out and buy the videos that had those episodes on (at the time the show was available to buy on VHS-tape with 2 episodes on each tape).

6. DAVID DUCHOVNY as FOX MULDER - Another show that I heard the buzz about and started watching right from the start and, like so many others, I immediately developed a crush on the snarky, enigmatic, troubled FBI agent with the weird name. The X-Files was the first show I ever tried writing (one, never-finished) fanfic for.

7. PAUL GROSS as BENTON FRASER - Man, Due South was such a good show! It was so quirky and clever and funny and Benton Fraser, with his huge heart and his serious demeanour and his gorgeous blue eyes, was just so darn attractive! He also got whumped a fair bit too! :D Due South was also the show that introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan (I was enough of a fan that I bought the show soundtrack on CD).

8. HUGH LAURIE as DR GREGORY HOUSE - This was a bit of an odd one for me because I had grown up knowing Hugh Laurie solely as a comedian/comic actor, known mostly for playing buffoons and genial idiots. And suddenly here he was with stubble, an American accent, and a limp, and he was hawt AF! :D It caused quite the feedback loop in my brain for a while which pretty much went “Wow, House is hot.... but it’s Hugh Laurie... but he’s hot... but it’s HUGH LAURIE!!1!”

I *loved* House (the first few seasons, at least) and oof a character with persistent pain (and a self-destructive streak a mile wide!) was a whumper’s dream. House was the first show for which I wrote - and published online - completed fanfics.

8. JOE FLANIGAN as JOHN SHEPPARD - Stargate Atlantis was my first proper online fandom, the first show I prolifically and repeatedly wrote fanfic for, and the first time I ever met in person an actor I was a big fan of (and while the show was still airing, to boot!). It was also my first introduction to the online community of whumpers! A bunch of us from the Shep Whump thread on Gateworld heard that Joe was going to be at a convention in London and we decided to book hotel rooms and meet up and go to the convention together and it was AWESOME! I can still remember seeing Joe *in person* for the first time and just,,,, struggling to believe he was actually here, in person, in front of me! He was super super lovely and humble too and took time to chat to everyone at the signing table and I clearly remember my brain just pretty much fritzing out during the photo session and being intensely aware of the sensation of Joe’s hand on my shoulder....

It was also super lovely to meet fellow fans, and online friends, in person for the first time and we had so much fun, and it kickstarted me going to lots of other conventions, including specific Stargate/SGA ones where I got to know lots of other lovely fans and online friends. I’ve met Joe about 4 or 5 times in total now and he’s been lovely every time.

9. PAUL BLACKTHORNE as HARRY DRESDEN - Gosh I loved the shortlived tv adaptation of The Dresden Files. I loved the fantasy aspect, the stories, the humour, and I especially loved Harry Dresden and how often he got whumped! :D 

10. DAVID TENNANT as THE 10TH DOCTOR - I had watched the Christopher Ecclestone revival of Doctor Who and enjoyed it well enough but I can clearly remember watching David Tennant’s first episode as The Doctor - on Christmas Day, at my brother-in-law’s house - and being aware, as I watched it that... ooookay, yes, I’m in trouble here... I like him... I like him a lot... :D I mean, I’m sure the fact that he got whumped so thoroughly in his very first episode had nothing to do with how quickly I fell for him... right? :)

11. ALEX O’LAUGHLIN as MICK ST JOHN - Another show that ended far too soon and just as it was getting *seriously* good. But also a prime example of my point about having a crush on the character not the actor. I looooooved Alex as Mick St John... and yet in Hawaii 5.0 he pretty much does nothing for me (the character is too stoic and the whump often too unrealistically glossed over). Anyway, in Moonlight he was my favourite kind of character - angsty, brooding, dangerous AF when he needed to be... and essentially immortal so you could whump the heck out of him and he’d recover so you could whump him again! :D

12. SIMON BAKER as PATRICK JANE - There is so much to love about Patrick Jane... his smarts, his sass, his angst... and Simon is a rare “against type” blonde crush for me (you may have noticed by now that most of my crushes follow a similar physical aesthetic - tall, slim/wiry, and dark-haired) and again here I think my crush is almost all to do with the character rather than the actor.

12. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH as SHERLOCK HOLMES - I’m almost ashamed to admit it, given the clusterfuck that both the show and its fandom became, but in the earlier seasons I had quite the crush on Benedict’s Sherlock (and okay, a little bit on Benedict himself - I did definitely enjoy some of his other roles too). It helps that I was already a huge fan of the Sherlock Holmes character (I’ve read all the stories and novels multiple times and was a big fan of the Granada adaptation starring Jeremy Brett - whose Holmes would definitely count as one of my more minor/passing crushes) already. Benedict is another crush that I have met in person, at a (actually, the first!) Sherlock convention and he was lovely in person - very genuine, very articulate and thoughtful.

13. TOM MISON as ICHABOD CRANE - I was excited for Sleepy Hollow as soon as I heard about it and I was SUCH a fan for the first couple of seasons (before TPTB completely destroyed it and it inevitably got cancelled (I didn’t even watch the last season and a half)) and Tom’s Ichabod (and his amazing chemistry with Nicole’s Abbie) was a large part of why. I also quickly became a big fan of Tom himself as he came across as so witty and self-deprecating and *fun* in all the behind the scenes/convention clips etc. I was lucky enough to also meet Tom at a convention and he genuinely is that witty and charming and lovely.

14. TOM WISDOM as ARCHANGEL MICHAEL - I think Dominion was possibly the first show that I got sucked into by seeing whumpy gifsets on tumblr! :D It was such a great show and also to date the most immersive, welcoming, cast-and-crew-interactive fandom I have ever been in. The cast and crew regularly live-tweeted the episodes, and interacted with fans on Twitter, and it was SO much fun. And Tom’s Michael was my favourite character right from the start - seemingly aloof but so much going on under the surface... and some really nice whump, especially in season 2! I was heartbroken when it was cancelled after only 2 seasons (and just as the plot was getting *really* interesting).

15. OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN as LUCAS - I was hooked on Emerald City right from the first episode. It was visually stunning, so atmospheric, and really intruiging. I love love loved Adria Arjona’s Dorothy (ngl, I had a bit of a crush on her too) and she and Lucas together were just... *chef’s kiss*. I mean... what an introduction to a character... she finds him crucified, bleeding, his wrists tied with barbed wire, and amnesiac.... and the whump only gets better and better from there on in! Like the entire first two episodes are just... Lucas whump! :D And his devotion to her... Emerald City was honestly the first show where I really got into a ship. I was *invested* in Dorcas, dammit! Aaaand sadly another excellent show that never made it past its first season.

16. JASON RALPH as QUENTIN COLDWATER - Another show that I watched right from the start, was heavily invested in.... and that the writers absolutely tanked and destroyed in later seasons. *cries* Quentin was such a brilliant viewpoint character for the show and I loved his awkwardness, and his angst, and his enthusiasm, and his adorable floppy hair... and how often he got whumped! 

17. COLIN MORGAN - I fell for Colin in Merlin (which I stumbled upon late, long after it had finished airing, and hence was able to binge-watch the entire 5 seasons!) and liked him enough to seek out his other works, such as The Fall, and Humans, and The Living and the Dead, and he was brilliant (and very pretty) in all of them... and his characters also seem to get whumped quite a lot! :D 

18. MATT LANTER as WYATT LOGAN - Wyatt was another of my favourite archetypes... absolutely badass and competent... but also tortured and angsty and capable of intense devotion. Another show that I watched because of whumpy gifs on tumblr and the second ever show where I actually got invested in a ship - Lyatt all the way, baby!! :D - aaaaaand yet another show cancelled before its time.

19. NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM from FINAL FANTASY XV - my very first video game crush! I was recommended to play FFXV by fellow whumpers on the whumpshire discord because it was whumpy... and they were not wrong and I loved the game and I absolutely adored Noctis. FFXV is one of very very VERY few video games that I have actually played right through to the end. And possibly the only video game that has ever affected me to such an extent... I became so invested in the characters and their world and I actually found the last couple of chapters really hard to play because it was actually upsetting me emotionally. I had to take a break for a couple of weeks before I could go back and finish it!

20. CONNOR from DETROIT BECOME HUMAN - and from there I jumped straight into another video game crush! DBH was another game recommended to me for its whump potential and I, and many others, immediately fell in love with the quirky, sassy, self-sacrificing (if you play the game right!) “android sent by Cyberlife”. The game itself is really good too... although, I have tried to play through all the different endings to the story but have never yet managed to make myself play the machine Connor storyline.... I want to complete all the story branches... but I also just want Hank and Connor to be friends and to be happy! :D

21. ZHU YILONG - Ahhh... the beginning of the asian drama arc of my fandom life! I first came across Zhu Yilong after getting sucked into watching Guardian because of pretty (and whumpy) gifs on tumblr... and I’ve never looked back. He is one of the rare entries where I am pretty much guaranteed to like him in pretty much anything he does and my crush extends beyond Shen Wei, or his other characters, and into reblogging his fashion shoot photos, and keeping up with news of his work in general. He’s just... so darn pretty! And also so... blur! :D And the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of him with Bai Yu, during the Guardian era, just made me fall for him all the more. He’s also ridiculously talented - not only a fantastic actor, but a really good singer (I love his singing voice), he plays guitar and piano, and he can paint too!!

He’s also pretty much what made me start learning Chinese... because after Guardian I went seeking his other dramas to watch... only to find that many of them are only partially, or not at all, subbed. So I thought... why not try learning Chinese and then I’ll be able to watch his other shows? :D

21. JI CHANG WOOK - My first kdrama crush, and what a good one to start with! Healer was the first drama I ever watched and can you blame me for falling for JCW... especially when I followed up Healer with The K2?! I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve watched him in. Although I do wish he would go back to doing more action-based shows as he is sooo good at them... but he seems to prefer the romcom genre these days, which is something I am nottt always a fan of tbh.

22. JAKE HSU as MENG SHAO FEI - Yet another show that I got sucked into by tumblr - and also one with a great, fun fandom through which I met lots of lovely people who I still follow/am mutuals with to this day. I just *adored* Jake’s character in History and I also loved the ship - Tang Fan and Meng Shaofei were awesome and adorable together and I was totally invested in both the ship and the gangster/cop/what happened years ago story happening alongside the ship. And Jake is just all kinds of cute.

23. XIAO ZHAN - Aaaand we are pretty much up to current day now... where The Untamed took over my life in the summer of 2019 and has yet to let me go. Xiao Zhan is another disgustingly talented human being - a fantastic singer and a really good actor, and also an artist - and he also just comes across as a genuinely sweet and charming person, and a very thoughful and earnest one too. And lbr he is ridiculously pretty, and his smile is just pure sunshine. 

24. LEE DONG WOOK as LEE YEON - The most recent entry to the charts.... a Korean actor I was aware of but whose work I hadn’t watched and whose looks didn’t particularly seem to grab me... until I watched Tale of the Nine Tailed and fell head over heels for Lee Yeon (and daaayum does red hair suit LDW!!) and very quickly began to find LDW’s looks very appealing (and oh my, does Lee Yeon whump well!!). And yes, I have now started watching Goblin. :D

Phew! Aaaand we are done! I’ll admit, I did think of a few more as I was compiling this list but I decided to categorise them as more “minor” crushes and not include them... otherwise we really could be here all day!!

I’m going to tag: @sarah-yyy​, @arlothia​, @howdydowdy​, @thepromiseweheldforlife​ and @the-wandering-whumper​!

[hoedameron]

i’m making this post rather early because i really don’t have anything to do right now (well, i want to make a gifset pero like...i need to emotionally prepare myself hehe).

i’m gonna be honest with y’all: i only started watching this show a few weeks ago. the only episodes i’ve ever seen are from the final season + a few episodes from previous seasons but i haven’t caught up with it. i didn’t feel bad for making this gifset knowing that i don’t have any real emotional attachment to the finale but i did really enjoy it!! one of the better series finales i’ve seen and i felt like they definitely left it on that note just in case any networks wanted to pick it up because now we have a new phoenix foundation that cut ties with the government and they now have their own agency. it felt right.

another gifset with text GOSH ain’t i’m dizzy yet? this time there were NO captions in this t0rrent which SUCKED because not only was it in 720p, it had the logo AND no captions -_- it was only when i was nearly finished the gifset did the 1080p version drop and i was like smdh....but i didn’t want to just...redo everything when i actually made 720p work in my favor. anyways, i had to write the captions down as i was listening (then going back to make sure i heard correctly) like super old school. i divided the scene into three (later four) video clips so i didn’t overwhelm the system (photoshop).

i wanted to go with a coloring that was vibrant but didn’t highlight the fuzziness and pixelization of the 720p video. because i also had to crop the logo, i was working with LESS which was like -_- whatever, we adapt. i used a coloring meant for thor: ragnarok scream and each gif has it’s own tweaks of brightness, contrast, levels...stuff like that. there are only two gifs that have the same coloring and that was because i was like...slapping it on because it was literally midnight can’t believe i was up that late making a gifset. i tend not to go into photoshop super late at night or else i will lose track of time...and i did. i uploaded that gifset at like 1 am?? GIRLY i didn’t even KNOW i was up that late.

of course i ran into major problems with the text and PLEASE do NOT look too closely at it. it was late, and yes the text aren’t lined up EXACTLY but it’s like a mere half or one full pixel off so to me they look “okay”. and that is coming from somebody who demands a level of perfection. then again i was sleepy and hungry so i was like yeah it’ll do. i think i like subtitles that are that low to the gif like the one above (the one above has a coloring i didn’t vibe with but looking at it now, it’s fine). i really need to find a way to make text easier and doesn’t make me wanna tear off a limb.

i did add in the second to last gif last minute because as i was creating the last gif of mac, i realized that the scene afterwards was worthy of including. so i went back to kmplayer to grab the clip after i uploaded the gifset to see what needed tweaking (four gifs because of the text alignment). ten gifs in total...one of the most work i’ve done in awhile. i am used to making like 15 gifs at a time when i was making aesthetic gifsets for prodigal son but some of those gifs do not see the light of day so making ten gifs that were for publishing...that was a lot. sharpening DEFINITELY saved the day in this gifset. i was working with subpar quality and i am thankful i nailed my sharpening <3 in total, i’m surprised it didn’t take too long but that is in terms of cropping, sharpening, coloring, and putting the text on the FIRST time. going back to make changes definitely took time pero i am happy with the end results.

at this point, notes are just notes and not an indication of my value as a gifmaker. if i like something, i’ll make the content i want to see. it’s a mindset in progress and i will definitely slip because i’m not always so good at praising my own content. hand in hand with comparing myself to others it’s always “they did this better, oh look what they did that elevates their set” so...yeah, working on it and i am grateful to all y’all for nudging me in the right path when i do self-deprecate though i should apologize for doing so. i am not looking for sympathy when i do say things like “oh, my gifs aren’t that great” nor am i not looking for you to agree with me....i just let those things slip subconsciously without thinking. it isn’t me fishing for compliments because in my mind i do believe it’s real but at the same time, i also know what i say is ridiculous sometimes. anyways, i’ll cut it here before i go off in a tangent. thank you for supporting my creating endeavors!

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 512

Looking for a way to spend Mother’s Day? Well, we here at Outlander have the perfect idea! Celebrate with the women you love by watching us gang rape grannie!

This episode is like the perfect storm of everything that is wrong with Outlander. The cast and crew saying it’s their strongest episode yet when it’s basically artsy gang rape. The CYA trigger warnings when the story would have worked perfectly well without including yet another rape. The kool aid-drinking fans yelling at and acting holier than thou at the fans who rightfully call out the massive problem this show has with rape and assault. The fans yelling at other fans because It’S iN tHe BoOk so it has to be included. The fans yelling at other fans for wanting to follow the books but not wanting rape every 0.5 seconds. The fans yelling at other fans to fuck off if they don’t like the show. The women in the cast throwing out trigger warnings while the men are radio silent or wanting the gladiators to face the plague and fight for their own amusement. It literally has everything.

And I am tired.

I’ve been in this fandom for six years and have had quite a journey. From first discovering the show and immediately devouring the books. The honeymoon period where I could headcanon out all the problematic bits. The getting deep into the fandom nonsense. The getting out of the fandom nonsense. The judging the fandom nonsense because it’s funny and they’re all idiots. The getting sick of the fandom nonsense because it’s not even fun to judge the dummies anymore. The becoming more and more aware that it’s impossible to whistle past the problems in the books and the show. The sticking around, holding out hope things might turn around and the initial magic could be recaptured. And finally, the giving up.

The books are trash. The show is trash. There are a handful of good scenes in each which can be enjoyed on their own, but as a whole, holy shit this stuff is not good. (Seriously, I tried to do a Fiery Cross reread before the season started. I started like a year ago and am still only at Jocasta’s wedding because I just don’t care enough to actually get through it.)

Which brings us here. I am tired. I have already ranted and raged and yelled and swore and wrote far too many words about the gratuitous overuse of rape in the Outlanderverse. It fucking has its own tag for fuck’s sake.

So here’s a recap. And then I think I’m done looking at this show in detail. Not because the idiot fans insist on coming to my notes to tell me to fuck off if I don’t like the show. Not because the crew are condescending douchecanoes. Not because the author is a misogynist garbage heap. But because spending an hour of my time for a few weeks out of the year to write these things isn’t worth it. I did it for as long as I did because it took so little time. So why not? But yeah, it’s not even worth that tiny commitment anymore.

And to the people who I know will @ me about how no one was forcing me to stick around and I could have quit any time, yeah, no shit captain obvious, I know that. Fuck off already. I stuck around because I really liked the little corner of the fandom that I’d found. I made some awesome friends. Most of those friends have since quit the fandom. I’m really glad to have them in my life outside of this little corner of the internet. And it was a fun writing exercise. I don’t really like the show anymore, but I enjoyed building an argument about why I don’t like it and think it’s bad that has valid points behind it. Especially considering how blindly overly adoring a bunch of the fandom is about it. But now I think I’d rather consume Outlander content as pretty people in pretty period costumes in gifsets. Or like, on in the background but not really paying close attention. Why not quit altogether? Because to quote the great Ron Swanson (I’m halfway through a Parks rewatch and I just love that show a lot ok.), I can do what I want. And besides, there’s like a fucking library’s worth of fics that I haven’t read and have been meaning to. And I like the characters enough to want to keep reading about them in stories that are better than the canon. (Bless you fic writers, blesssss.)

So. Was this whole ramble self-indulgent and overly serious for a fucking TV show? Absofuckinglutely. But please see the aforementioned Swansonism.

Alright, fuckos. Let’s do this.

This is a Roberts brainchild, isn’t it. *checks credits* Yup. Knew it. This feels very much like a Roberts special. In that he is probs quite pleased with himself but like, it’s crap.

Yes, we ARE doing ANOTHER rape story! But look! It’s a disassociation montage! It’s the ‘60s, get it?! There are callbacks! An orange from the king in season 2! A vase from season 1! A rabbit from season 3! An amber-looking dragonfly! Jamie with the young hair spouting off book lines! ApPrEcIaTe MuH aRt! We are so good at finding new and creative ways to rape our characters! Fuck off, twatwaffle. You are the worst.

Like, does Roger feel left out at this point? He’s only been hanged. Literally everyone else has either been raped, been sexually assaulted, or been threatened with rape and/or sexual assault.

“But it’s not gratuitous! Look! They’re all so different! Jamie’s was overly graphic and he got a half a season to brood about! We manged to not show much of Fergus’ (but still showed a thrust) because he’s a child and it was just a plot device for Jamie and not actually about him! Mary’s was about Fred! Claire’s with the king was about Jamie! Jamie’s with Geneva was shot like p0rn! Marsali being threatened by the sailors was to motivate Fergus! Bree’s was about the other people in the room and Roger! Claire’s really has no purpose because she’s already been kidnapped and beaten, and that is super traumatic, and we’re gonna wrap it up with a bow by the end of the episode!”

This fucking show, guys. This fucking show.

Bonus points* for the Black character spouting off the superstitious stuff.

*By bonus points I mean this show, and the books are absolute shit on matters of race. The books especially.

The cast and crew have 100% heard everyone’s thoughts on the overuse of rape in the Outlanderverse. And their response has been to include more and more of it. We had a whole season of one character’s arc being about her rape and literally as soon as that was resolved, they gang rape another character. It really does tell you as much as you need to know about them. Lazy. Fucking. Cowards.

Kidnapping not enough trauma? Let’s add some gang rape! Gang rape not enough trauma? Let’s add visualizing that your daughter and grandchild are dead! Just like Fred died! This show really brings trauma p0rn to a whole new level.

Called the Bree and Roger shit.

This scene with the men rallying to go save Claire is like another layer of fuck you. Bree, you stay home, men, give your hero lines and let’s have a getting ready montage. Because your hero moment is what this is really all about. And your manpain about killing someone. *screams into a pillow*

The petty side of me is happy that it was Fergus and Young Ian who are with Claire when they find her and not Roger. Her two sons...

Why yes, I am judging all of the fans who like get their panties all wet over Jamie being like “It is I who kills for her.” Like “yeah go ahead and rape and beat Claire within an inch of her life if it means the big strong man gets to come in and save her and say something intense.” Fuck off and go take a hard look at yourself and what that says about you.

“Was there an Indian there?” “Nope, he wouldn’t help you because LiOnEl but somehow was able to peace out when it was in his interest. Because he is as bad as the ones who actually raped you.”

The Bree and Claire hug makes me both sad and angry. I want to hug them both and take them out of this fucking place and tell them that they’ve been done dirty and deserved fucking better from the writers.

Glad Marsali gets in on the hug. Claire’s two remaining daughters.

Claire’s “I have fucking survived” speech is like the one time she she actually talks about herself not in relation to a man. It’s about her. Claire. HOWEVER! It is epically fucked up that a woman needs to check off all the trauma she’s endured to show she’s a strong character.

So. Fucked. Up.

The fact that we’re spending time on Roger’s manpain about killing someone also really tells us a lot about the show’s feelings toward women. Yeah, killing someone is a big deal. It’s normal and expected to have feelings about it. But the juxtaposition of Claire’s speech about all of her traumas with Roger being like yeah, I killed a guy who had kidnapped, beaten and raped your mom is like, read the room, bro/writers.

The fact that the men put Claire’s rapist in her surgery, her space, her place of healing, where she is able to be most herself, makes me want to punch each and every one of them in the throat. Like seriously. Fuck each and every one of them.

Also Lionel is like cartoonishly terrible. Not that nuance has ever been this show’s strong suit. But like come the fuck on.

Marsali killing Lionel is the one thing about this episode that I didn’t hate. The men are all like “We kill for Claire! Let’s all rally in this montage and go do the manly thing of defending the woman!” Marsali is just like, yeah, that’s my Ma you fucked with. She shows some agency. She doesn’t do it in a performative way for the other men or for Claire like the guys do. She just knows this fuck needs to die, knows it’s gonna be hard for her and might damn her soul (don’t worry Marsali, all that religion crap is bullshit), and does it anyway.

Marsali’s arc has been my favorite of this whole fucking series. The one bright spot I was hanging on to all of this season especially.

Her quick scene with Jamie doesn’t bother me like Roger’s does. Because Roger is like oh no, I killed a guy! Can you forgive me? For killing a rapist? Like fuck off, bro. And Marsali is like yeah, I killed a guy. I hope I’m not damned for it, but the guy needed to die so I did it.

Also like, Richard had potential to not be cartoonishly bad. But like nope. “He reaped what he sowed, but cLeArLy I’m gonna need to escalate this further. Because manly men can’t let shit go.”

Fuck all men, tbh.

*googles how to emigrate to Themyscira*

Jamie’s speech that’s like supposed to parallel Claire’s can fuck all the way off. Giving him the last voice over just underscores how this was all about men. Not Claire. But the men. Fuuuuck everything.

Look! Everything’s fine again! Back to normal! Peaceful for a bit! With a cheesy af on the nose storm coming! So you know something bad’s coming! In case you forgot!

And Jamie got a book line. So it’s all good now.

And don’t worry about Claire, y’all. She feels safe now. Her and Jamie fucked it out.

It’s amazing, in retrospect, that I ever let this story suck me in so much.

Happy Mother’s Day! See you on the other side of the hiatus.

[letyourcolors]

Analyzing Leyton in Season 1 (this is a rant, btw)

First of all, I’d just like to point out that I love Peyton, and Lucas was my favorite male character for the first three seasons. That being said, I hate Leyton and this post is not dedicated to their shippers (feel free to read it if you want, I don’t mean to disrespect anyone, I just think you’re not gonna like it lol). Also I do like Brucas but I’m not standing on the ‘they should’ve been endgame’ team, I could’ve easily accepted them not being together anymore (specially because I fully respect Sophia’s position to not wanna do those kinds of scenes with Chad anymore) - if the writers hadn’t done such a terrible job telling us ‘Leyton’ was the Real Thing.

On this post, I’ll discuss Leyton’s construction during the first season of One Tree Hill and I intend to do future posts with the other seasons as well. If you want to check out the next ones, follow the ‘anti leyton analysis’ tag (or just follow me lol I promise you I’m very nice).

Season 1

Okay so, for starters, I’ll just point out that I wasn’t actively anti-Leyton at the beginning of the show, I just didn’t mind them. They did have some cute moments together and I could understand their dynamic, it was belieavable.

(Credit: x)

I also specifically enjoy their bickering, like how when Lucas flirts with Peyton and she cuts him off by being mean (which is sort of her way of flirting back) and the opposite happens as well.

The reason why I didn’t really care for them is because I never saw anything really meaningful happening there. Their interest is nothing more than platonic. Lucas likes the idea of Peyton since he never even talked to her before; Peyton on the other hand is getting out of an abusive relationship and is just kind of intrigued by this guy who seems very different than her current boyfriend, who also happens to be Lucas’ brother (and rival). Their angst only exists because of that specific circumstance.

When there is finally nothing standing in their way and they can just be together, without the teasing, this happens:

(Credit: x)

Peyton has a change of heart only after Lucas is dating Brooke, which obviously hightens her feelings because now it’s forbidden again. To me, personally, that is not a sign of love or romanticism. That is a sign of having your ego hurt - and I don’t mean to shame Peyton, I’m only pointing out the most common human behavior ever. Feeling a little something for someone and having it a million times stronger after you can’t have them is something we’ve all been through and it doesn’t necessarily prove we have a deep connection to that person. So of course there is tension when they talk, in the first episodes she’s with Nathan and later they’re cheating on Brooke. Leyton’s angst is always a result of someone else standing in their way and never of the pure intensity of their feelings.

Even so, in theory, Leyton still seems better than Brucas. I mean, if you only heard the story, you would definitely not be a Brucas shipper because Lucas’ feelings for her apparently do not compare to what he feels for Peyton (even if it’s based on his own idealized perception of her and not on who she actually is, since they barely know each other but whatever). As a matter of fact, he gets together with Brooke right after Peyton dumps him, and that’s not exactly the best place to start off with someone.

The thing is, and that is why I already leaned towards Brucas, they have way better chemistry.

Leyton just always seems off-sync to me. For example, in 1x07, this is Peyton inviting Lucas to Nathan’s party. It’s supposedly a flirty moment and yet their faces:

(You can see the gifs here)

tbh I genuinely thought Peyton had way more chemistry with Haley (and with a lot of female characters for that matter, I didn’t get my hopes up because this show is really straight but Peyton had a very strong gay vibe):

While this is Brooke and Lucas interacting later on that same episode. Brooke is actively hitting on him and he is trying to reject her to go talk to Peyton (but ARE YOU REALLY, Lucas? I mean...

Anyway. 

Now to the kisses. Lucas and Peyton’s first kiss is just very, very uncomfortable, both narratively (she only kisses him in order to piss off Brooke, which is pretty lame) and visually (just LOOK AT THAT). 

I can actually feel a little pain watching this because she pushed his head with such rudeness and it doesn’t even seem like he’s enjoying it, it’s not like ‘wait what- wooooww, I like this’, looks like he’s trying to get away from that, he even pushes his arms back.

But okay, maybe that’s not the best example. Let’s get a moment where there was reciprocity.

I mean it’s fine. 

As opposed to when Lucas and Brooke kiss:

(On the gifset above there are more of their kisses in season 1 which are all incredibly beautiful)

At their first kiss they are so consumed by each other’s eyes we feel like they’ll start ripping off their clothes right there. And then at the pool kiss, they both just look genuinely happy and that is another point that distinguishes Leyton and Brucas so much for me: Brucas just seems very lighter and easy-going, they always look like they’re having a good time together. We also got to see them be a couple and spend quality time together and just enjoy each other’s company.

While Leyton for me was rooted in guilt, tension and awkwardness, we barely never see them just hanging out or having cute moments.

And finally, another point that I will explore better in my seasons 2 and 3 analysis, how could anyone care about Leyton when we had THIS:

Even though the show didn’t focus on Jeyton that much I really like the fact that they’re a slowburn and that their relationship was just rooted in how much they liked being together. Peyton babysitted Jenny just because she wanted to and Jake found comfort in her while he was struggling with being a teenage single parent and later with Nikki trying to steal his daughter from him. Here we have better angsty because it’s not that the characters are playing games and refusing to be together out of pride, it’s not that another love interest gets in the way, and to me it doesn’t feel like it’s about their ego, they simply get more and more attached to each other and enjoy the time they spend together and actually start off as friends which I think is really beautiful.

This is what I have to say about Season 1. Even though I already didn’t ship Leyton at that point (and thought both Jeyton and Brucas had better potential), I could still see that it made sense for the show to place them together on Season 2 and it wouldn’t bother me that much. But then... (Wait for my season 2 analysis)

[softjeon]

The perfect Illusion | Pt. 3

• Pairing: Geisha!Jimin x Namjoon | Side-Pairing: Geisha!Jungkook x Yoongi • Genre: Fluff / Angst  | Geisha!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 12k | ↳ AO3 • Disclaimer: mentioning of abusive behavior

*** please note that this story doesn’t mean to represent accurate geisha tradition, it was solely inspired by the beautiful art form, giving it a modern twist in a fictional universe and therefore has been dramatized for entertainment purposes.

written with @cassiavioletblue

↳  He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. And yet, there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that.

« previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter »

“Are you fucking kidding me Kim Namjoon,” His voice sounded lower and raspier than usual and it was obvious that he was grumpy. But who could blame him, when his best friend stood in front of his door, robbing him of his beloved sleep in the middle of the night while ringing the doorbell like a maniac. He pushed the door open nonetheless, waddling back into his apartment sleepily. “You owe me one for this…” 

Yoongi motioned for Namjoon to sit down on his couch, while plopping down in his favorite armchair and pulling the blanket over his body. He yawned tiredly, rubbing his eyes in a weak attempt to feel a little more awake. “So, now start from the beginning. You were at the tea house? Alone? And you did...fucking what?” 

The entire time Namjoon was talking and trying to explain his situation, Yoongi was rubbing the side of his temples, awaiting a headache to settle in soon. The other was talking so fast, jumping from one topic to another that Yoongi felt dizzy. When Namjoon was finally taking a deep breath and it was quiet for more than five seconds, Yoongi looked at him thoroughly. “So, you want me to explain it to you? How it all works?” Blowing out some air in a sigh, he sat up a bit more. He was definitely awake now and from where he sat, Yoongi could see the sun starting to set at the horizon through the window. 

“Jimin belongs to the tea house,” Yoongi sighed deeply, his eyes locked with Namjoon’s to make sure he understood everything he would be explaining now. Namjoon was smart, too smart sometimes and way too kind-hearted if someone would ask Yoongi. A charming optimist. Only this time it wouldn’t make this situation any easier. “And if I say that, then I entirely mean it like that. The tea house owns Jimin. If Jungkook says that his debt is not paid off with his mizuage then...he must have been sold off at a very young age or whoever sold Jimin really needed a lot of money. Therefore, nothing belongs to him either. Anything he buys, he eats, his entire upkeeping only pushes his debt higher. I don’t want to know how much Jimin has to work to pay even an eighth back of what he owes Hoseok and yes, Nams,” He held up a hand to calm the other, knowing his friend too well, “That’s unfair and shouldn’t be Jimin’s fault when he’s been the one who had been sold after all - but it’s the only way he can get out of this. See it this way: With a debt he at least has a chance of being his own person again.” Biting his lip, Yoongi let that information sink in with Namjoon for a moment, reaching for the bottle of water that always stood by his coffee table. “Where do you think a tea house owner gets his dancers from? Either you're born into this or you have been sold. Rarely anyone chooses to become a geisha on their own free will anymore. They have to train a lot and from a young age to become this good. The gifts customers give him are only another way for him to pay the money back. I believe that his mizuage money must have been really high...I mean we have both seen him dance. He’s popular and still it seems like it isn’t enough. Makes sense that he told you that he let go off his past right? What if he never had anything else but this life?” Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, taking a sip from his water bottle. “How do you even know Hoseok is bad? All I am sure of is that you can’t cause a scene like this. You’re diving headfirst into something you’re not even sure about. It was very brave of you to ask him to date.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of Namjoon asking a geisha out, “But pretty stupid, too. You can’t date a geisha, especially not one like Jimin. I mean...you could marry him, I guess. But even then you need to have the papers, have Jimin’s and the tea houses agreement...and if he’s so deep into a debt then I am not sure. Anyways, what you did was very reckless. You could cause Jimin more trouble when you act up, just because you think you need to play the hero in this story. If you want to see that boy again, then you need to keep your head down. Play by the rules and you’ll be able to see him again.” Gazing deep into Namjoon’s eyes, Yoongi’s expression softened, “I can’t tell you to stay away from this, right? You know he’s a geisha. It’s his job to make you fall in love with him. I mean, I’m all for going back to see...the amazing show again...but what makes you so sure of it? That he likes you? That he is in,” He air quoted the next word, raising his eyebrows,”...danger?” He lowered his voice, ”I really don’t want you to get into serious trouble Namjoon. Not for a random boy.” 

Yoongi meant well, Namjoon knew that. And still he could feel himself getting defensive at bis words. ‘Random boy’ didn't sit well with him, not after Jimin had opened up to him like that. He did have a point though when reminding him that it was Jimin's job to be mesmerizing and draw people in. Especially when he's done this since he's been a little kid, then maybe even Jimin himself couldn't distinguish properly between what he did out of habit and what he really wanted in terms of flirting.  

"Sold…," He whispered, tongue getting heavy with its weight. It was such an ugly word when talking about a human life and thinking about young Jimin being given away from his parents for money, the people who should love him and care for him the most - he couldn't imagine how it must feel like to be reminded of that every day when thinking about the "debt" Jimin had to pay that wouldn't even be there if his parents had done their job right and loved him more than anything else. He sighed deeply as he reminded himself not to judge before he knew the whole story. Maybe his parents had given him away because they loved him, and their living conditions had been horrible - or they had simply died. Instead of being discouraged or repelled by what Yoongi had told him he was now more determined than ever to be with Jimin again even if it meant to ‘play by rules’ that he hated.  

"No, you can't tell me to leave this. But you already knew that. I can't just ignore how much I like him. And I know you just want to keep me from getting hurt. But even if Jimin leads me in or this will end badly - I still have to experience it or else it will forever linger in my mind what maybe could have been and that I left him there like that even though I promised otherwise." When Yoongi nodded defeatedly Namjoon gently smiled at him. "You helped me a lot though with trying to educate me about this. And you could do even more if you would go with me again next time to keep me from fucking up again." 

“Just be careful, okay?” Yoongi said, reaching out for his friend to make him look up and not get lost in his thoughts already, “Make sure to know what’s really going on before you run headfirst into the wall. We’ve got a reputation and it’s a gentleman’s club with a lot of businessmen. We can’t just walk around and cause trouble. We’re not anyone anymore.” He smiled reassuringly, “But that also means that we do have power. All rich men have power, right?” Yoongi chuckled low. Sometimes it was still crazy to him how their lives had changed so quickly. “So...what’s the plan? Do you want to talk to Jimin?” He motioned around with his hands, “I mean….I could talk to….Jungkook if you want? You know...just to get more information about Mr. Jung. I...I think...he would talk to me.” 

Namjoon nodded. "You don't have to worry. I was overwhelmed and surprised by everything - including how much I started liking Jimin. But I won’t lose my head like this again, I promise. I wouldn't damage our business like that." Yoongi was right, a tea house was like the epitome of "the rich get a say" so he should use that power as it was supposed to be (according to Hoseok) and feed the system he didn't like for the sake of everyone involved. And if he saw it purely from a logical point of view then every private meet up with him brought Jimin closer to freedom because it meant more money. Namjoon smirked. Yoongi wasn't fooling him. "If you need an excuse to talk to Kook then yes. But something tells me I'm not the only one enjoying tea house company."

Yoongi scoffed, “I’m just enjoying the tea. They have very lovely tea.” He nodded determinately as if to underline his statement. “I like tea.” 

…

Jimin still stood in the empty tearoom, even though Hoseok had been long gone and ordered him to wash up. He was biting his lip repeatedly, his eyes focused on the floor. His jaw, where Hoseok had gripped him tightly only seconds after Namjoon was gone was still aching. But whatever Hoseok had told him, Jimin already forgot about. The image of Namjoon way stronger, his thoughts circulating around him and only him. He slid the door open quietly, gripping his robe so he wouldn’t fall over and began to walk downstairs. It was quiet in the tea house, only the cleaning ladies were working now and a few young maikos who were preparing the rooms for tomorrow's service. A smile was stuck on his lips, but in his head was a raging storm. How could have been so easy for Namjoon to break his surface, his perfect mask? No one had done that before. He had always played, twisted things around easily so he wouldn’t need to answer honestly and made people think whatever beautiful story he was telling them that it was true.  

But he didn’t want to lie to Namjoon.  

“Jimin!” Jungkook was hurrying behind the older, who had startled so much that it worried the younger only more. If Hoseok was reprimanding someone in front of Customers something really bad must have happened. “Are you alright?”  

Jimin nodded at that, stroking over Jungkook’s back lovingly and giving the younger a genuine smile. “Was your dance successful? I heard it was good.” When the maiko gave him a worried look, only humming in response, Jimin gave in. “I am fine, Jungkook. Please don’t worry too much.” Jimin walked ahead and linked his arm with the maikos, “Hoseok was just mad that I went over the time limit. It was almost an hour. If I had another customer that could have messed badly with my schedule and…and he reminded me of that.” 

Jungkook only relaxed when Jimin linked arms with him. You could always feel it when Jimin was tense; he could perfectly control his face and his body on stage, but he let his guard down around Jungkook a little more so the younger could read his body language. Jungkook was pretty certain that Jimin didn't do it on purpose but simply reacted subconsciously to him as he trusted him and so he cherished it all the more. "Wait, you went over time limit? You? And with Namjoon?" Normally Jimin was perfection personified, "You must have enjoyed it a lot when you forgot to keep track of time. What did you do? Did you dance for him? Recite something? Was he asking you to reenact a scene from Theater?" It was quite common for customers to do that as that way he could make the Geishas tell them that they loved them just by asking for a love confession scene. 

“I...I was enjoying it,” Jimin said and opened the door to their room, only then letting go of the other again before roaming around in his drawer to find a towel and not face Jungkook directly. “We just talked, actually. I mean...I danced for him. I showed him the butterfly dance.” His voice was soft and quiet. A soft, shy blush on his cheeks when he turned around. “The one I showed you? I asked for his opinion.” Jungkook’s raised eyebrows and surprised expression let Jimin chuckle, before he added quietly, “Oh and he hated it. Thought it was awful. He said I should practice some more.” Biting his tongue, Jimin was trying hard not to start laughing only waiting for Jungkook’s reaction. 

Jungkook startled at this. He knew how important this dance was to Jimin and how much of himself he had put into it. His initial surprise and joy over Jimin daring to share that with Namjoon quickly turned into shock and indignation. “He.... he what?” He would have never thought that Namjoon could be so cruel as to crush Jimin’s spirit, especially not when he shared something so personal (everyone who paid a little attention would have seen that this dance wasn’t a regular entertainment program). He had seemed so honest and kind, actually so much that he felt almost out of place around here. Apparently Namjoon wasn’t as ‘safe’ for Jimin as Jungkook had thought. “I’m...I’m so sorry.  Don’t listen to him, what I saw last time was beautiful and he has no right to say that to you! You practice more than anyone and even if you danced something right on the spot it would blow people away. He’s just... awful himself.” As the other wasn’t answering Jungkook got closer, worried about how the other must felt. It was rare enough that Jimin let a customer in so much that he actually valued that person's opinion. What a pity Namjoon had turned out to be just another stressed businessman playing his games and messing with the geishas feelings for fun, “Jimin... are you okay?” 

Jimin burst out laughing, holding onto Jungkook’s shoulder to keep himself upright but failed only seconds later when he fell onto his knees. “H-he liked it,” Jimin was barely able to catch his breath, “I’m sorry Jungkookie! He is awful himself, huh?” He was still giggling, trying to get up again, “He said I am mesmerizing…I am the one who thinks it still needs work. Namjoon is too sweet to say something mean like that. So much I figured out. ” 

Jungkook gasped in betrayal, starting to lightly slap Jimin repeatedly on his arm “Why~? Why would you do that to me?” He whined. “I am worrying about you! It’s obvious that Namjoon is interested in you and that he doesn’t know how people normally act around us so don’t mess with me like that! It makes me think he might be up for all kind of things! I don’t want to wake up to you having been abducted or some shit.” 

“Yeah, he doesn’t.” Jimin bit his lip, thinking about Namjoon’s oblivious expression each time he told him something new and smiled faintly. “Abducted? Now you’re talking nonsense. You should sleep more,” Jimin fluffed through the youngers hair and pushed him down onto his bed, before just letting himself fall onto the younger, making him squirm and giggle under him. “No more talking about customers. We got a long day ahead of us, so we need sleep!” 

…

When Jimin opened his eyes, the sun was shining through a small slit in the curtains. The thin line of bright light ran across his pillow and straight into his eyes. Blinking tiredly, he moved his head out of the bright rays and got up. He sighed, glancing over to Jungkook who had kicked his blanket all the way to the end, snoring softly, obviously still deeply asleep. Nonetheless, Jimin opened up the curtains wide. The warmth on his face felt so good as the morning sun slowly worked its magic and woke him up entirely. He opened up the window to let in a fresh breeze of air into their sticky room, hearing Jungkook groan in the back. “Good morning, sleepy head!” Jimin walked past him, ruffling lovingly through his hair. Jimin looked out of the window again, a small cloud passing over the sun and coolness swept across his face. As it made it’s way past the sun and onto the other side, Jimin wondered about Namjoon. He had dreamed about him. About his smile and his warm touch. The warmth came back and Jimin blinked his eyes as the sun shone bright again. 

A sleepy grumble diverted his attention back to the bed where Jungkook had started to stir but instead of getting up he had pulled the cushion over his head to block out the sunlight and shuffled a little to get comfortable before he went back to falling asleep. 

It only took Jimin about fifteen minutes to get Jungkook up and into the bathroom with him to wash up and get dressed. In the kitchen, Jimin prepared some water with mint and lime, as he had restricted Jungkook from drinking caffeine because he needed to care of his skin for his mizuage. And he never drank coffee himself. With a book in his hand and their casual clothing, Jungkook followed Jimin down into the garden that was a beautiful replica of a Japanese garden, complete with artificial brooks, overhanging blossom trees and waterfalls. Jimin always thought it was the most beautiful part of this tea house. Biting his lip deep in thought, Jimin wondered if Namjoon would like just as much if he’d ever come by on an afternoon. Since Namjoon visited him a couple of days ago, he was constantly on his mind. He had thought about customers before – that wasn’t the part that made him worried, but the fact that his heart was aching each time his image crossed his mind. A painful, aching stab to his heart – a yearning. Jimin had never felt like this before. He didn’t know how to sort this feeling out. So, he had tried his best – with meditation, working, dancing more than usual and choreographing new routines – to forget about Namjoon. He was a geisha after all. He needed to make sure to keep his emotions in check. Jimin had no time or use for emotions, they only got him into trouble.

Pulling Jungkook along, Jimin went straight for his favorite spot. Right under a blooming blossom tree that gave enough shadow to hide from the bright sunlight. “Come here. I bet you forgot to apply your sunscreen again, am I right?” Jimin chuckled and placed his things aside. Other geishas preferred the dance studio or library to work and train with their maiko’s and even though Jimin loved the studio it was always occupied by others and why not take such a beautiful day to be outside? Jimin looked over to the establishment, the main part of the premises. A little narrow path of stone followed from the terrace, where sometimes customers could play outside with the geishas on a sunny afternoon, which lead right into the garden. A small, wooden fence separated the official part from the personal space of the geishas. Right behind it no one was allowed in if he wasn’t personally invited by Hoseok or a dancer of this establishment. They had a small private garden as well, where they hung their laundry when it was warm outside, and a few others loved to garden but Jimin never really liked it. He hated to get the dirt from under his nails.  

But right here, under the blossom tree, Jimin was the happiest. And he only hoped Jungkook loved it here just as much. 

The geisha was stretching out his leg, his hand reaching for his toes to feel his muscles work. “Did you think about your mizuage dance, yet?” Jimin asked and intertwined his hands to stretch them over his head and behind his back, before starting to roll his neck carefully.  

Jungkook had followed Jimin like a little chicken, blindly trusting as always. Jimin always made sure they had a nice sport to train. Today’s one was beautiful as well with the sun shining down on them and flowers all around them. Jungkook wasn’t one who liked to sit around and do nothing (which made him a little fidgety when he had to wait in a room for the customers or behind the stage) but this part of the garden was so beautiful that he would have loved to just watch a little. Of course, that wasn’t an option though and when Jimin mentioned his mizuage he quickly cast down his eyes. He couldn’t help how small his voice sounded when he answered. “No. I tried to think of something but... then I remembered that all eyes would be on me and not for a dance but because... because…,” He broke off. Every geisha before him had done it as well and yet he still felt like it was an impossible task whenever he thought about dancing for the visitors with the knowledge that a few hours after one of them would have sex with him that night. 

Jimin looked up from his stretching and his heart ripped apart the moment he looked into Jungkook’s eyes. “Hey, baby, it’s okay.” Jimin got up on his knees to shift over to him, taking Jungkook’s cheeks into his hands. “I wish I could do it for you, I really do.” The geisha leaned in to place a kiss on Jungkook’s hair and sat down in front of him. “I’ll be with you. All day. It’s going to be fine. He will be nice, and it will be good. It isn’t as awful as you think.” He soothed over his soft skin and down his shoulders to take his hand in his, “And I’ll be close by wherever you are. You just have to scream my name once and I’ll come running okay?” He let go off one hand but only to raise his pinky for Jungkook. “I promise you that I will be there whenever you need me.” 

Jungkook nodded trying not to cry with how nice Jimin was, how protectively he held him. It actually made it worse because even though he always loved this about Jimin it reminded him that no one else had ever touched him and that whoever would pay the fee would be allowed to touch him wherever he wanted, and his insides felt all wrong at that thought. He wished that Jimin could protect him from that too but he couldn’t and he also couldn’t scream for him in case he got scared because Jimin wasn't allowed to interfere and if Jungkook wanted to be a geisha - and he needed to become one or else he would be stuck in his debt forever and Hoseok would cast him out if he had no value - then he had to go through with it. Causing a scene wouldn’t exactly do well for his worth so he better got his act together and did what everyone else had done before him; smile and dance and be as beautiful as he could be - while hoping that it would be over quickly. 

Jimin kissed Jungkook’s cheek softly, smiling at him in a reassuring manner, “You have your private lesson with Hoseok tonight. But I will help you.” Jimin was glad that Jungkook trusted him blindly. This way it was easy to pull the younger up with him, ordering him to close his eyes. “I want you to think of something. Something that makes you happy and feel completely yourself. Not the mizuage. Not this tea house. Anything else but this. You can make dreams come alive, Jungkook.” Jimin whispered and rushed to his bag to get out the small portable music box. He had compiled all of Jungkook’s favorite music and a few new titles, knowing that the younger would like the flow of it. “Do you have something in mind?” He asked softly, letting his hand wander down Jungkook’s back to remind him of his posture. “Think of something, someone, anything really. Do you see it in front of your eyes?” Jimin took a step back and reached for Jungkook’s sketch book and a pen, ready to scribble down notes while the other was starting to dance. He knew Jungkook hated to multitask, so just dancing and letting Jimin do the job of writing down steps would definitely help him. 

After training for an hour and choreographing, they fell against the blossom tree completely exhausted. Taking a sip from his water bottle, he gave it over to Jungkook, who drank it just as hastily. “You look beautiful when you dance, Jungkook. I wish I had that strength,” Jimin was watching Jungkook draw, while he was picking up a few daisies from the side and creating a flower crown. Both were completely immersed in what they were doing, when Jimin saw Taehyung approaching.  

Taehyung was the son of a geisha, he prided himself in being born as such and Jimin never knew what to think of him. He easily kept up a façade, training a lot and improving every day. It was admirable, if it wasn’t for his attitude. 

“He! Hoseok says you two need to get in. Customers will come soon, and you know he doesn’t like it when you’re in the main garden.” He scolded them from afar, already dressed up and fully made up in his geisha attire. Taehyung probably had early customers and as he was living in the teahouse far longer than Jimin, both of them followed his orders right away. “Oh, and Jin is asking for you two. Jungkook needs to name the colors he wants for his mizuage robe and…well, he got some bad news for you,” Taehyung added nonchalantly leading the way. The younger geisha furrowed his brows, “What do you mean ‘bad news’? What happened?” But Taehyung only shrugged his shoulders, his lips pursed. “I don’t know. Do I look like a mailman? Go and just ask him yourself. I have customers.” Fixing his hair one last time, Taehyung turned on his heel. Jimin smiled reassuringly at Jungkook and put an arm around the younger to lead him down to the tailors office. 

Leave it to Taehyung to ruin the carefree mood they had been in just a second ago. Jungkook took a hold of his flower crown to take it with him and keep besides his bed as a reminder of what Jimin had said. That he looked beautiful, which meant there would be people bidding for him. Because even worse than people bidding for his innocence would be if no one would bid for him and he had to choose to stay a Maiko or let someone that the tea house owner would choose to do it for free. He clung tighter to the flowers, hurrying down the hallway while both of them were tense and worried about the “bad news” and what they could mean. They didn’t have to go very far as Jin stood in the hallway, waving some piece of cloth that had some similarity to one of Jimin’s more expensive robes - just that there were more lose ends than there should have been. 

“Oh no, this can’t be!” Jimin’s eyes widened immediately when he saw the expensive robe ripped and torn into pieces in Jin’s hold as they entered, “What happened…d-did Hoseok see this already?” Jimin was taking the piece of cloth from the tailor carefully, eyeing it and trying to examine the damage and if he could save it somehow. But it was no use. It was completely torn. 

“A young maiko washed it wrongly.” Jin didn’t even glance up but rather looked at the sketches Jungkook had been showing him as an idea of what he imagined his mizuage outfit to be like. “A maiko? Who?” He frowned when he didn’t get an exact answer from Jin who was adamant on just ignoring him. “I don’t know. A new kid, I guess. You know that happens sometimes. You shouldn’t be giving this expensive stuff to the kids; I always tell that to you all. Can you pay it off?” Jin turned to look over his shoulder and Jimin’s face paled, shaking his head softly.

Groaning deeply as a response, Jin took Jungkook’s drawings. “I’ll take some measurements of you,” He looked the maiko up and down, “Which means no more gaining weight or losing it from now on. If you ruin my work because you thought that extra ham was too delicious…” Jin raised an eyebrow as a warning before addressing Jimin, “And you should better tell Hoseok you fucked up a satin robe. I can make you a new one but only if he gives you the money so you can buy new satin.” The house designer always had an attitude and Jimin had never figured him out. Some days he was fond of him and on other days it seemed like the other couldn’t stand him. Jimin clutched the fabric tightly, the anger boiling hot. Of course, it wasn’t his fault that the fabric was ruined. The young maiko’s always were the one’s taking cares of everyone’s stage robes and still he had no name for whom to blame. Even if he had, Jimin wouldn’t tell on him. There was no pretending, he’d rather take the punishment himself. Just like he always stepped in for Jungkook. He couldn’t count the times he had taken the punishment from Hoseok instead of Jungkook, not caring about kitchen work or anything else but the younger maiko having no trouble. 

Jungkook felt with Jimin but he didn’t move. You never messed with Jin, that was the law. If he liked you and you didn’t do anything wrong he could make the most beautiful robes for you but if you angered him or he preferred others over you out of different reasons then he could make the robe too long (which made it more difficult to walk gracefully and you were prone to falling) or a seam too tight (which could make it rip during a dance or in front of a customer which was a total disgrace and all he had to do was to say that they gained weight). The robes were incredibly expensive so each time you needed a new one it set you back, with a noticeable amount of money adding to your debt. He send a sympathetic look Jimin’s way, promising quietly to himself that he would give his first stage money as a geisha to Jimin so that he could pay the new robe. It was Jimin’s in a way anyways because without him Jungkook didn’t think he would have come that far. 

...

Knocking on Hoseok’s office door moments later, Jimin let himself in when he heard Hoseok calling out. “I apologize for disturbing,” He bowed his head, the ruined satin still in his trembling hands. He hated facing Hoseok with bad news, especially when it was about money. Slowly he raised the fabric to show it to him, adding quietly, “It somehow ripped in a washing process. I am sorry.” 

It was quiet after that statement. Eerily quiet, as if Jimin was the only person in the room. Jimin hadn’t even dared to look up at Hoseok’s face. He knew his anger all too well by now.

 “You.. what?” 

And he was used to it by now. 

Hoseok laughed, as if Jimin was telling him an especially funny joke. “It somehow ripped you said. How can something somehow rip? Especially when all the other robes manage to come out perfectly fine. Did the water have something against you? Did it magically fall into pieces? Tell me Jimin at your age and state, don’t you think taking care of your own clothes should be something you can handle? How can I let you go on stage with good conscience when I know you can’t do something as basic than washing your clothes right. This needs to have consequences.” Hoseok gave him a long look, “You understand that, right? That I can’t just let you mess up and give you more money even still you’re so deeply in debt? I wish it was that easy but it’s not Jimin. No one gets money for free.” 

...

Jimin’s hands were still trembling when he was applying his make-up moments later. He had asked a few of the maiko’s on his way over who had ruined his robe, but none of them knew and somehow Jimin had a weird gut feeling that made him question the whole story. But even if he could proof that maybe someone had wanted to destroy the robe on purpose Hoseok wouldn’t take off the money from his debt. It was his robe. He needed to care of it. So therefore, he had to pay for it.  

Jimin scoffed to himself, applying some more blush and lipstick. His hands felt too shaky, so when he messed up the perfect line he couldn’t help but curse. “I’m sorry, Kook,” Jimin mumbled when he noticed the youngers worried stare and he quickly laid his head in his arms, hiding. “Can’t we just go back to sleep? I don’t feel like serving tea today.” He whined quietly, feeling too weak and too sensitive to conquer the world tonight. “Or turn back time and lay in the sun again.” Jimin sighed deeply, raking his hands through his hair as he sat back to take a few more deep breaths.  

Jungkook was up on his feet immediately because a Jimin who wasn’t showing off the perfect smile and instead actually voicing something that you could see as unmotivated or critical speech - that meant he was really, really exhausted. So Jungkook did his best to help Jimin with his stage attire as he himself was already finished and he hoped that it might bring back the smile to Jimin’s face. 

Sometimes Jimin wished he could sell his virginity again. Just to repay more of his debt. Looking at Jungkook, who was sitting in his natural beauty right next to him made him only wish that the younger would get enough money to pay off his own. He didn’t want him to share his destiny. No, Jungkook should have a better life and Jimin would make sure that no harm would ever get to him. “I wish you could come with me tonight. I feel like I’m in need of good company,” He reached out for Jungkook, cupping his cheek in a loving manner, “Practice hard, will you?” Smiling reassuringly, Jimin motioned for Jungkook to get up, only to hold him back again, “Can you come and get me when my appointment is done? But make sure to come right to me. You know you’re not allowed to run around without makeup in the main room.” 

The younger nodded and then bravely thought that breaking another rule wouldn’t make a difference so he quickly hugged Jimin (despite his stage robe, which wasn’t allowed). He tried to make his voice sound as reassuring as possible when he promised, “Of course, I’ll come pick you up, straight line, no risks. Maybe the people are nice, and you’ll get a good tip tonight. I’ll see you in a bit.”  

Jimin would have loved to stay in Jungkook’s embrace, only parting from him with a bittersweet feeling. He didn’t want to pretend tonight. Feeling too exhausted. 

Taking a deep breath, Jimin shook the feeling off himself and tried to concentrate. When he passed the main room, the music was playing loudly indicating a small show going on. From where he stood, the geisha could see Taehyung dancing with the biggest smile on his face twirling in midst of guests as he lured them in perfectly, everyone being in a dream like state. He broke his gaze off the scenery and went upstairs to the private tea rooms, to get to the one right at the end of the hallway. None of them had really “their own” room, but this was the one Jimin used the most. It wasn’t always that he arrived before the guests, but when he’d only been booked by someone for the whole evening Jimin liked to make sure himself that everything was perfectly prepared. Another maiko was already setting the table, while he focused on the music player. The soft tunes that began to play, made Jimin close his eyes and he hummed along with the rhythm. It was calming his anger. When the maiko was gone, Jimin couldn’t help but to start singing to the music quietly. He still had some time until the show downstairs was wrapped up and the pair that booked him would be up. Jimin hadn’t really cared about the name of his visitors really, so he had only asked for the number of the tearoom his appointment was in when he passed the reception. It had been an exhausting day, one that made him wish to just go back and hide under the covers of his bed. So, when he was sitting on his knees, preparing the tea, Jimin was just fully enjoying the moment to himself.  

Namjoon had been a little nervous despite Yoongi telling him to calm down for three times now (which was a critical amount for him) so they had ended up arriving a little too soon. Namjoon had sat down to wait but the young Maiko had told them that of course they would visit the room and get themselves comfortable there because there would be already refreshments waiting and they could talk to the Maiko that would be getting the room ready before the booked geisha would arrive. When they came within reach of the room they could see that the Maiko was leaving already - and yet there was someone inside. Jimin’s angelic voice gave away who it was and Namjoon stilled, stunned into motionlessness at how beautiful it sounded. Even Yoongi stilled and listened, eyes wide at the clear but soft notes that came from the room while Jimin was walking around, almost as if he was preparing the room first and singing second, unconsciously passing the time or something. 

Jimin hadn’t noticed them observing him, that was until a choked off sound came from Namjoon who had stumbled into the room, almost knocking over something in the process. Yoongi had his hands still extended out from where he had pushed his friend hard, his eyes wide flickering over to Jimin.  

“Sorry!” He breathed out hastily, “I…I’ll go look where the bathroom is!” With that he quickly slid the door close and turned around, running off to wherever before Namjoon could get angry at him. He really didn’t mean for him to push Namjoon so hard, nor to disturb the youngers singing but Joon seemed so gone again that Yoongi was afraid he would never move again. 

“Namjoon!” The name fell of Jimin’s lips a little breathlessly, his eyes unsure as he stood with his back against the wall feeling like he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t. “Oh…you’re the couple….oh oh, I…” Jimin fell so quickly onto his knees that he flinched from the pain, biting his lip as he bowed deeply to greet his customer.  

Namjoon’s brain didn’t catch up fast enough so he interpreted the respectful gesture as Jimin having fallen so he kneeled down as well right away to help him up earning a confused look from Jimin before he realized and blushed hard. So much for not outing himself as an ‘outsider’ all the time. “Oh, uhm, thanks, I mean.. you can get up now if you want.” He nervously rubbed the back of his neck glad that he had a reason to look around with checking out the room, trying to collect himself during that time. “The room is so nicely decorated. Ah and the sacks look really delicious. Are you hungry? Do you want to eat something?” He leaned down to snack a tiny little piece of rice from one of the plates and swallowed it, “There, now you can eat freely.” 

Jimin couldn’t help but smile fondly, when Namjoon reached out for food immediately to not make him starve again. “It’s fine, thank you, sir. Namjoon, s-sir.” He shook his head, trying to collect himself quickly and ignore the racing heartbeat inside his chest. “Mr. Kim, thank you. I am not very hungry today.” Jimin held his breath, his hands on is lap, nervously playing around while he tried to keep calm. How was he a complete mess already. He had promised himself to focus on what was important. Being a geisha, getting a good tip to pay off the robe as soon as he could. “Please enjoy your food. Do you want to watch me dance while you snack, or do we wait until your friend is back?” 

It hurt more to see Jimin so reserved after the younger had opened up to him last time. Though he probably should have expected it. Jimin very obviously got reprimanded for going over time at their last encounter so he tried to be as ‘perfect’ as possible this time. “Can I request for you to call me Namjoon while we’re in private? Or would that make you feel uncomfortable?” His voice was soft, probing, ready to talk about anything else if necessary that would make Jimin feel like he had control over the situation. “I think Yoongi might take a little while. So, we should sit down maybe, and you can dance for the both of us later? If you want to that is.” 

“Namjoon,” Jimin’s voice turned soft immediately. There was no way to explain this feeling. Being in Namjoon’s company felt calming, a feeling that he wanted to chase forever. A few words and he had cracked Jimin again, making him fall into the trap. “Why do you care about what I want?” The words sounded harsher that he intended to, “I mean…It’s not like I have a choice. You tell me what to do and I will try my best to fulfill your wish. That’s what a geisha does.” 

Namjoon had understood by now that if he strayed too far from the rules he overwhelmed Jimin an as he didn’t want to scare him off he had decided to play along as much as he needed to - and let Jimin be himself as much as he could. “Yes, I... realized this. And if you really want to fulfill my wish then you can do that in a really easy way. I don’t like when everything is under my control. I feel better when I know the person in front of me isn’t uncomfortable. And I’m also a curious person. So, with being yourself, and being as honest as you feel comfortable with you’ll fulfill all my wishes at once. Does that sound okay with you?”  

Jimin nodded carefully to show that he understood but in reality, he had no idea how to be himself.  

Biting his lip in an anxious matter, he took a deep breath. Jimin turned to reach behind him to get out a game of chess he usually liked to play with all of his customers. “Do you maybe want to play?” He looked up at Namjoon, his eyes unsure and feeling insecure. Another thing that Namjoon did. It was a new feeling, never felt he so vulnerable in front of someone. Not in front of a customer at least. 

Jimin gave up. He simply gave in to whatever it was about Namjoon. Maybe it was all about him, or just because Jimin was yearning to be himself and lay down the mask he had to wear all day. For the first time in a long time someone was listening to him instead of the other way around. And Namjoon even seemed really interested. He watched the dimples appear and disappear on his cheeks, fighting the urge to just lean in and poke the soft skin. It was absolutely mesmerizing to watch Namjoon talk about his business, never before had he cared about any of his customers office work. Honestly, he found it quite boring usually – but the way Namjoon was praising Yoongi’s work and talking about his friend was making Jimin smile. “You’d do anything for him, hm. Yoongi, I mean,” Jimin asked, finally talking and moved another chess figure, looking at Namjoon with big eyes, “I know what that feels like. I would do the same for Jungkookie. I don’t want him to ever get hurt. He’s so talented.” Now that he was finally saying something, he opted that he could tell Namjoon the truth. He had wanted honesty, so as a geisha he would try and fulfill his wish, “And I am sorry for earlier, for the way I reacted. I had a long exhausting day. One of my robes got ripped…it’s all in pieces now and I don’t kn-…I’m sorry. It just angered me today. I don’t want to dwell on it, but it was one of my favorite ones. I wished I had Jungkook by my side today.” 

He was grateful when Jimin took the initiative and asked him to play - and even more so when after a while bit by bit Jimin shed his mask and let him peak through, opening up again like a blossom until in front of him there no longer sat Jimin the geisha but the soft boy that he had been lucky to meet last time.  

“I’m sorry about the robe.” He bit his lip before adding, “You can’t take gifts like that, can you? A new robe? Cause I don’t mind some money missing but you do.” He took a sip from his tea to cover up how nervous he was and then continued and is he hadn’t just offered to pay a really large sum of money just because he could. “You’re right, Yoongi and I go way back. Longer than the company, longer than even the idea of it. We weren’t always the ‘rich boys’ we started pretty low and with lots of uncertainties and hardships to overcome...” He felt a little bad talking about ‘hardships’ when Jimin was here with literally no money and no family. “It worked out though. Even better than what we imagined in our wildest dreams. What about Jungkook? How long do you know each other?” 

Jimin shook his head quickly, not daring to look up but rather moving his figure to another place. “I see your friend told you a little more about the world of a geisha?” Chuckling quietly, he added, “It wouldn’t matter. I have to pay for the ripped one either way.” He smiled faintly, motioning with his hand so Namjoon wouldn’t miss his turn. “I know Jungkook since he came here. I was very young myself and usually you only are allowed to teach a maiko when you’re a fully trained Geisha. But I wasn’t one, yet.” Gazing off into the distance, Jimin smiled at the fond memory of the shy little boy holding onto Hoseok’s hand tightly, whose eyes had been so fearful. Jimin had reached out for the young boy’s hand and ever since he never let go of Jungkook.  

“There was no geisha who could take another maiko and since…,” He hesitated, gulping heavily. “Since I was trained well already and only too young to be a Geisha, Hoseok gave Jungkook in my care. So, I did. He’s preparing his mizuage tonight,” Jimin said nonchalantly, “It’s in a couple of weeks so he has to prepare a lot and Hoseok had only some spare time tonight for him so…you know how you do a special choreography? It’s all made by yourself basically and it’s supposed to…” The geisha stopped, blinking up at Namjoon, biting his lip, ���Well…lure them in to pay some good money. You only have one chance. So, he has to prepare himself well.” The last bit of the sentence was almost a whisper, a faint smile on his lips while Jimin’s eyes were flickering over the chess board – but his mind wasn’t in the game. 

The heartwarming story Jimin told him quickly turned into something way more serious when Jimin mentioned the ceremony. “He...what?” Namjoon paled visibly. He knew that Jungkook would do that eventually but Jungkook was like a child. A pretty and well trained one but still there was way too much innocence in his eyes and naivety in his face for him to ever be self-aware enough to healthily handle a one night stand. Especially if it was his first sexual encounter ever and he didn’t have a choice in when and where and how… 

The longer Namjoon thought about it the more nauseous he got but he knew better now than to stir up chaos again. No matter what he said or did it wouldn’t prevent this from happening. If anything, it would only make it worse for everyone involved. He clenched his teacup a little too tightly when he took another sip. “How... how old is he?” He wasn’t sure if the nonchalant tone of voice he was attempting was working. 

Jimin could see the obvious distraught written all over Namjoon’s face. “Twenty-one,” He smiled and reached out for him, soothing over his hand softly, “Just like we’ve all been. I…I told him I will be there. I promised him to never let any harm get to him and so far I succeeded and it…” Jimin stopped, sighing deeply. “I know what you feel. He’s sweet right? Naïve, his eyes full of wonder still. But that’s how it is in our world Namjoon. We can only hope it’s someone that appreciates the beauty he is.” His eyes wandered down to the chess game, shrugging his shoulders as if this wasn’t a big thing. As if losing his virginity to a stranger who paid you wasn’t prostitution and completely unfair. “I think you’ve won.” Jimin pointed at the chess board, smiling at Namjoon a little too forced for it to seem joyful. 

Namjoon had lost all interest in the game.  

They had all been that young... that meant Jimin as well. He could picture it too colorfully, how scared Jimin must have been, trying to stay strong for Jungkookie to not give him a bad example or let him think that it was something he didn’t want or else Jungkook would be scared of his own mizuage as well. “Who was it?” He knew he should keep his mouth shut. This was way too private, way too direct and it probably violate the rules to tell someone.. or maybe it was an open auction were the bidders prided themselves in being able to bid for a sweet Maikos virginity. “How can they do that to you?” 

“Wh-ho?” Jimin furrowed his brows, “What do you mean? Who?” It suddenly felt like the air was too heavy to breathe in, gulping hard against the lump in his throat. His heart was beating so fast that he felt it in his throat.  

Namjoon could backtrack now and pretend he had been talking about something else - but he couldn’t let go. He knew he couldn’t just push that question into the back of his mind again. He didn’t know himself what he would do if he had the answer, would he just google a random person? Nonetheless he answered in a way Jimin couldn’t misunderstand it. “Who was the one who paid for you becoming a geisha.” 

“Namjoon,” Jimin was looking at him, reaching out carefully for the other who suddenly seemed so furious and yet so frozen in his state, almost as if he had locked up every muscle in his body. There was no way he could tell Namjoon who it was. If it would have been a stranger...maybe. But it wasn’t a stranger to Namjoon. And Jimin had an awful feeling that he wouldn’t be able to take it. 

“There are things I don’t talk about as it’s an agreement between the customer and I, please respect that.” He spoke softly, hoping his voice would soothe Namjoon. Even if it was just a little bit. “Please, I am fine, okay?” He took the game board to put it aside and shifted closer to the other, holding onto him. Slowly, Jimin retreated one hand from his arm and reached for Namjoon’s cheek to make him look at him. “I didn’t get hurt and that’s all you need to know. I had an awful day already, please let’s talk about good things. I shouldn’t make you feel like this. Do you want me to dance for you? Do you want more tea maybe?”

It hadn’t been what he wanted; neither to make Jimin feel bad nor make him feel like he had to be more of service. It ached to know that this was what was normally happening, young boys tending to their customers’ needs while their own were neglected. Though getting angry now or letting out his desperation wouldn’t change anything, it would only bother the last person who should be faced with it; Jimin himself. “Of course.” Namjoon nodded resignedly. “I understand. I didn’t mean to upset you. Would it cheer you up if I brought you a gift? Something that Hoseok won’t have any intentions of taking from you because it’s just a tool or everyday use. But it’s yours if you want it and it could remind you every day that you are your own person and... that there are some people that think way more of you than you do yourself.” He thought a long time about what to get Jimin (the brooch wasn’t finished yet) because he wanted Jimin to like it - but it also couldn’t be valuable or eye catching enough for Hoseok to notice it. So, he had settled on chopsticks. They were simple really but elegant, made from high quality wood which you only saw when you took a closer look or held them in your hand. At the end there were a few small inlays, the ones Yoongi made but you could think of them as fake pearlescent paint because they were so small. Only if you knew that they weren’t painted and that the finest mother of pearl had been used you could see their true value.

Jimin held his breath, still holding onto Namjoon’s cheek as he didn’t dare to move. “Y-you…” He couldn’t even start the sentence, when he felt something burning behind his eyes. Jimin had gotten plenty of gifts before and he was always grateful for them, giving them over to Hoseok the second the customers were gone. But getting something from Namjoon was different, because it held meaning. A lot more than he wanted to admit.

He sat back on his knees, observing Namjoon who turned to get something out of the bag he had brought. Jimin was shaking, his eyes feeling too teary to see straight, so he didn’t really see it at first and only when Namjoon gently took his hands to place a box in his palm did he realize what it was. Carefully slow he opened it, his eyes glistening when he saw the beautifully made chopsticks inside, bound together with a single red ribbon. “Is…is this what you do? Is…this what it looks like?” Jimin’s voice was shaking and he let his finger soothe over the wood. “Joon,” He whispered, the nickname slipping from his lips without noticing. “I don’t want to give it to him. I want it to be mine.” A tear fell down his cheek when he looked up. 

“No, this is not what we do. Not normally.” He reached out to gently wipe the tears from Jimin’s face. So much for cheering the younger up. “We never had chopsticks before, they were specifically made for you. And I chose chopsticks because.. I didn’t want Hoseok to take them away. Use them. Don’t keep them locked away. They are there to remind you, as I said. And If I’m estimating Hoseok right then he’s a busy man. Too busy to notice what kind of chopsticks you are using especially if they aren’t shiny and new but well used. Which you should do. If you want to of course.”  Namjoon took the chopsticks out and placed them in Jimin’s hand. “I can leave them with you now and take the box with me so no one will know that they were a gift. And if it really happens that Hoseok sees them and takes them - then don’t worry. I could make a new pair, just as beautiful as those - and then I will keep them for you for when you are out of here. As your first real possession. Solely for you.”

If Namjoon only knew. Jimin looked at him, holding on tightly to the chopsticks in his hands. “When I’m out of here…,” He looked down at the chopsticks with a smile, “Yeah. That would be nice. Thank you, Namjoon.” Jimin wanted to lean in, place a kiss right on Namjoon’s cheek – just because, but he stopped abruptly.

There were footsteps.

And with a sudden heavy feeling, Jimin snapped around to look at the clock at the wall realizing they were over time again. He gasped, getting up from where he sat, looking around frantically to find something to hide the chopsticks in. Jimin knew it was probably the dumbest mistake to ever make, to hide something from Hoseok as it could cost him everything, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t let him have it. “N-no-no,” Jimin jumped behind Namjoon right in the moment when the door slid open, holding the sticks between his body and Namjoon’s back to keep it hidden. His hold around the other’s arm tightened as he peeked out from his shoulder.

“Jungkook!” He relaxed visibly at the sight of the younger, reminding him that he had told the maiko to come by after he was done with his practice and his appointment was over. An idea popped into his mind and Jimin pulled Jungkook into the tearoom, pushing the chopsticks into his hold. “Can you hide this for me? I will explain it to you later but Hoseok can’t…”

Footsteps.

Again.

Jimin simply reacted on instinct, taking Jungkook by his shoulder and pulling him towards the door that lead into the closet room, where the geishas stored some music instruments and props in between tea ceremonies and pushed Jungkook in, motioning him to be quiet. “I will explain, I promise. Just…be still…” He closed the door quickly, running back to Namjoon’s side, panting and feeling too breathless from the sudden game of hide and seek.

Just for Yoongi to peek his head around the corner. “Hey…so…ehm…are you guys done or something?” 

They stared at each other and Namjoon wondered what Yoongi was seeing as the other closed his mouth, smile fading. Jimin was still obviously shaken, his eyes glassy and Namjoon looked like he was ready to fight someone (Hoseok). “Joon?” Yoongi’s expression got serious but before Namjoon could explain there was someone calling out for the geisha. 

 “Jimin?” 

The way Jimin paled Namjoon realized that it could only be Hoseok. Of course, it was. Quickly he pulled Yoongi inside and closed the door so that Hoseok wouldn’t see them right away through the open door. “Namjoon!” Jimin whispered, his voice laced with panic as he held onto him and it was enough for his protective (and very much own panicked) mode to take over. Taking Yoongi by his arm, Namjoon hissed at him to be quiet and that he would explain it all later before he opened the door to the closet and pushed his friend inside.

Jungkook had heard Hoseok’s voice too and from how Jimin had reacted, the chopsticks that were currently in his hold must be something meaningful (he completely forgotten about the fact that he was wandering around with no makeup on and customers had just seen him like this). He gasped, pressing his palm on his mouth to not make any more sounds, realizing this must be a present for Namjoon and Jimin wanted to keep it. He quickly turned around, bending over a couple of boxes, squinting his eyes to see in the dark because the small window didn’t let much light through in the small closet. Jungkook almost lost his balance, right when the door to the closet opened again and someone kept him in place, hands firmly gripping his waist. 

Yoongi could think of way more pleasurable ways of getting pushed into a closet and he was about to make up a very angry very loud statement in his head of what he thought about being treated like that that he planned on giving Namjoon right after this was over - until he felt someone stumble in front of him. Instinctively he reached out to stable whoever-was-there hoping that it wasn’t some creep spying on Jimin. Then his fingers felt the soft satin of a robe and the tiny waist of a young boy and he realized that it must be a Maiko - or a young geisha - probably hiding for similar reasons than him. He had to fight hard to keep from chuckling at the absurdity of the situation. At least he had company (very certainly cute one).

Jimin felt awful for pushing Jungkook into the closet, but there was no way Hoseok could see him wandering around without make up and interrupting a tea ceremony. It would have been his fault, but Hoseok wouldn’t have known and… With horror he realized that he was having a full blown panic attack, his breath coming in short pants as he stared at the closed door, holding on tightly to Namjoon. He needed to stay calm. For Jungkook. For this to not blow over. He snapped around to reach for his fan, pushing Namjoon down to sit back on his knees to run around the table to get into position to make it seem like he just finished dancing. 

Jungkook very gently, but with a firm grip pulled the hands away from his hips only to snap up and press himself against the wall. His eyes were wide, his heart beating fast and it skipped a beat when he realized who stood in front of him. Tightly he held onto the chopsticks, flinching visibly when Hoseok’s voice drew closer. Jungkook saw Yoongi open his mouth and he quickly pushed his finger onto his lips. “Please,” He whimpered quietly, closing his eyes tightly, shivering from the fear to get caught.

His eyes widened when he realized that it wasn’t just any Maiko but Jungkook. Which now that he thought about it made a lot more sense. Even though Jungkook wasn’t supposed to be here he was always close to Jimin. 

He couldn’t wait for Namjoon to explain what mess he had gotten himself into this time.

This obviously was a lot more serious for Jungkook though as he flinched every time the heard feet tapping even though that couldn’t be Hoseok yet. Yoongi nodded as a sign that he had understood, and he knew that although there was barely any light Jungkook would feel his head move because of the fingers on his face. Carefully he got a step closer (a movement that had him crossing the entire distance between them because the space was so small) and leaned over Jungkook, shielding him effectively from view in case someone opened the door. 

Jungkook took in a sharp breath when Yoongi moved closer, his hand placed firmly at his back to keep him still and make sure he felt the calming presence. At first he didn’t dare to move, waiting for Hoseok to arrive but the seconds felt like minutes and so Jungkook looked up at Yoongi, one hand still holding on tightly to the chopsticks that were now hidden in between their chests while the other was slowly reaching for the hem of Yoongi’s suit jacket to hold onto it. Their gazes met and Jungkook couldn’t help but smile shyly - that was until he realized that he was wearing absolutely no makeup. His expression visibly paled and he quickly casted down his eyes, flinching once more when the door of the tearoom slid open and Hoseok’s voice came closer. Jungkook let out a small whimper, inching closer to Yoongi. 

As it was so dark Yoongi could only guess what Jungkook’s face looked like right now, he could barely make out when he smiled - but he definitely felt the youngers shudder. The small, lost sound the boy made sliced right through his heart and he held him closer, drawing reassuring patterns into the small of his back as he couldn’t talk, lips brushing Kook’s ear nonetheless as if he wanted to whisper to him to calm him down. He felt a little too helpless for his liking in their current position.

Jungkook wasn’t necessarily shuddering because of Hoseok anymore, but more because he could feel Yoongi’s breath right on his neck, tingling and making him too aware of their position right now. He could have turned around again not facing the other, but the confined space would have only made this more awkward. Opening his eyes carefully, Jungkook listened to the conversation outside, how Jimin was telling Hoseok that he just finished his dance and would accompany Mr. Kim outside soon and then return to clean up but Hoseok was adamant not to go right away. He could hear the desperation in Jimin’s voice, the nervousness and it was making him more anxious. And then there was Yoongi, whose touch felt way too good but at the same time he wasn’t supposed to be in a position like this…if Hoseok would look in the closet he would be done for. For more than one reason.

When Yoongi’s breath was making a shiver ran down his spine again, Jungkook stiffened up. Carefully his hand wandered up to Yoongi’s chest to keep a certain distance (as much as he could) between them because the urge to lean in and hug the other for real was way too real right now. He blinked up into Yoongi’s eyes, smiling a bit unsurely. 

Yoongi got that the situation was dangerous and that the tea house owner was right outside. So, playing it safe and not moving a bit would have been the best decision. Yoongi had a history of ignoring reason though and he followed that tradition by tightening his grip a little further. Jungkook’s body was pressed against his and he could feel the younger gasp quietly. They were so close now that he could feel the younger’s breath against his lips, warm and sweet and so, so tempting. This was a bad idea. Something in his stomach fluttered as if he’s had moths for breakfast. His free hand found its way to Jungkook’s face, caressing the soft skin as delicately as he could. He was so beautiful. Even when he could barely see him he just knew that the younger was full of beauty because his warm heart and cute smile proved it even in the dark.

Jungkook’s eyes widened when Yoongi touched his cheek so softly as if he didn’t even care about the rule of not touching a maiko. He wasn’t supposed to be touched in any way by a customer. And still it made his heart flutter, picking up its beat. Reaching for Yoongi’s wrist slowly, he wrapped his hand around it, for a moment he wanted to pull it off – because it was the right thing to do but the second he held onto his delicate wrist, Jungkook couldn’t tear his gaze from Yoongi’s eyes. Gulping against the lump in his throat, he stayed completely still. 

They held hands in some weird way now with Jungkook holding onto him. Yoongi had expected the boy to try and wiggle out of his grip or turn his head away. instead he held onto him for dear life - and if he wasn't mistaken then Jungkook had even inched closer. Their lips were so close to each other that it would only take a few inches for them to kiss. It was absolutely forbidden, a sacrilege, especially with a Maiko, the untouched blossoms of the tea house. Yet it was always what was forbidden that tasted the sweetest…

Yoongi leaned in and pressed his lips against Jungkooks. They were soft and warm and when the Maiko gasped in shock he unintendedly gave Yoongi the opportunity to taste him for real. Nonetheless it was a sweet kiss, careful and Yoongi retreated after a short while to not overwhelm the boy. The young maiko’s eyes were wide. Fear, surprise and a weird feeling he couldn’t distinguish mixed together, when Yoongi’s warm lips were kissing him. He reacted completely on instinct, his hold around his wrist tightening when Yoongi leaned back. Jungkook was speechless, completely frozen in his state. Yoongi felt strange, with his lips tingling and sparks at his fingertips where he still touched the boys delicate skin. He had thought that kissing Jungkook would satisfy his curiosity - though now that he’s had a taste he only wanted him more. 

Jimin bowed his head to Hoseok, who nodded to Namjoon in a respectful manner before finally turning around. The geisha stumbled back, feeling breathless, dizzy and like crying all at once. “Oh god,” He whimpered quietly, feeling Namjoon reach out for him to steady him as he felt awfully wobbly on his legs. His heart was beating so fast and hard against his chest that he was sure Namjoon could hear it. He turned in Namjoon’s hold and simply gave in to the urge to let himself fall against him. Leaning his head against his chest and wrapping his arms around Namjoon tightly. He stayed like this for a moment, only parting when he remembered their friends in the closet. “Oh…no, Jungk…” Jimin couldn’t end his sentence, still holding onto Namjoon when Jungkook stormed out of the closet, eyes wide and his cheeks blushed. 

Namjoon let go of Jimin when Jungkook came towards then because he didn’t know how comfortable Jimin was with others seeing them like that. And as he had expected Jimin straightened up the moment Jungkook was close. He looked as shaken as the geisha and went right up to him, hiding behind his back and cuddling up to Jimin so tightly as if he wanted to disappear. His eyes were wide as if he was still shocked but there was a shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips and a dark blush dusted all over his cheeks. 

With a slight creek the door of their hiding spot opened wider and Yoongi stepped out, looking as calm and collected as if he hadn’t just been stuck in a cramped space together with someone else. Namjoon immediately reached out for him trying to talk Yoongi out of getting angry and hoping that the older wouldn’t be sulky for having to hide. Surprisingly though Yoongi didn’t look like he was about to give him a hard time.

Jimin was surprised when Jungkook was hugging him so tightly, trying to hide behind him – although he was shorter than the other. “Are you okay, Kook? I’m sorry, I pushed you I will explain everything in our room, okay?” Jimin whispered, reaching behind him to reach for Jungkook’s hand to intertwine them as he felt like Jungkook was a bit shaken, thinking it was because he made him go through this nerve wracking experience.  

Jungkook just shook his head, hiding his mouth behind his hand as he had to suppress a stunned giggle. He still couldn’t believe what had happened and he wasn’t sure yet if he should let himself feel excited and joyful - or freak out about it. Jimin would know though. Jimin always knew. So, he leaned in and whispered into the geishas ear. “Yoongi, he.. he kissed me. In the closet. In the dark. He kissed me!”

Jimin’s jaw dropped. He was stunned, only for a second though and then reality hit him. Jungkook, his maiko, had been kissed. His sweet, innocent boy. He held on tightly to Jungkook, shaking from the uncertainty what to do now. Jungkook didn’t seem like it was against his will but at the same time…there was no way Yoongi had been allowed and if Hoseok would find out. Too many rules had been broken tonight. And waiting and letting time pass was only making it worse now. Jimin whined helplessly, before his gaze focused on Yoongi and he narrowed his eyes. Taking the chopsticks from Jungkook, he pointed them at the shorter man. “You...you both need to go now.” Jimin spoke as confident as he could, “Before Mr. Jung comes back…and finds out.” He snapped his gaze around to Yoongi, looking him up and down as a warning and pulled Jungkook a little behind himself just to make it clear to the other that he would keep an eye on him.

There was obviously something that Namjoon was missing because a simple whisper from Jungkook had made Jimin stare at Yoongi as if he was the devil personified. His words had been clear though and Namjoon felt like he’s brought enough chaos into the geishas life so he retreated like the other had asked him to, telling him goodbye while Jimin was already busy cleaning up, keeping a grip on Jungkook the whole time as if someone was about to snatch Jungkook away from him (even though it was really impractical during the cleaning).

They left the private rooms quickly as Namjoon wasn’t keen on meeting Hoseok again. He didn’t slow down when they were out of hearing range, but he addressed the topic immediately. “Okay, spill it. What did you do?”

Yoongi just simply shrugged his shoulders, following Namjoon outside of the building. He lifted his arm to call for a taxi, staring into the distance to wave for an empty one while adding nonchalantly. “I kissed him.”

Namjoon had to make a double take at that. “You did what? You… You of all people who told me to stick to the rules and don't fuck this up because it would bring trouble for both the boys and ourselves - you kissed Jungkook? Even I know that this is absolutely not allowed!” 

Yoongi could only be joking right?

He sat down in the taxi, telling the driver their street before answering Namjoon, “Yeah, well…you know I’m not good with following my own rules.” He raked a hand through his hair, looking at Namjoon, “He didn’t move away and Jungkook certainly liked it…so what about it? Yeah yeah, he’s a maiko. No touching allowed. But there was no room in there. We had to touch each other! If you see it this way…it’s your fault. Not mine. You pushed me in there for whatever reason.”

Namjoon shook his head, trying to get comfortable on the taxis worn seats. “Yoongi, please don't do this. Don’t mess with Jungkook just because you can.” No wonder Jimin looked at Yoongi as if he had personally offended him. “It might mean a little fun for you - but it will confuse Jungkook a lot. You saw him. And he’s already under a lot of stress because he’s currently training for his mizuage and…”

He broke off when Yoongi made an involuntary sound, something surprised and raw and for a moment his nonchalant facade broke away. Now it was Namjoon’s turn to be shocked. “Wait.. wait! You like him? Like I am into Jimin? Even though you teased me for being interested into a geisha and you told me that it’s just their job and that they are supposed to make you fall for them? You fell for Kookie? The sweet little maiko boy? You who can’t make it through the day without swearing! Well…,” He shook his head in disbelief, but he knew Yoongi too well to misinterpret his reaction, “I definitely didn’t expect that.”

A/N: Whuhu! Another sunday, another update! Don’t forget to leave us a comments on how you liked it. What do you think? Did Yoongi take it a step too far now? Will Hoseok find out ;) Will Jimin get the punishment for it....hm.........

Subscribed: @jeonsdear @starlightstae @p-ixelite @lissachan504 @wise-bts-collector @nochuukookie @h-e-l-p-m-e-p-l-e-a-s-e00 @hisheartsmile @absque-nocte @violetrose120 @fusselkuchen @gelsavitichi @minsugasnerd @yoonqiful @thenameoftherain @jjkscnery @tobi-love @banaani-mins @writeasifwordsarepaintbrushes @it-is-dana @nomimits7 @laur-zipan @mytokyos @ksjinandtonic @eenabannana-blog @angeljk @gguksbam @bngtnsnyndn-ily @whatarelarryfeels @7sirens @awjiminie @violentredroses @dancelinestan @hinikkihere @the-magic-shoppe @vannilacake @listlessmaenads @daddy-namjoon @siedhr @dirkstrider98 @moonshinestudies @cecechiro @babyboyyjjk

↳ If you want to be tagged in new updates you can now sign up in my subscription list here!

[jazillia007]

Ship History Meme!

Embrace your past and get to know your friends’ fandom origins!

Rules: Post gifs of your fandoms / ships starting with your most current hyperfixation and work backwards. (Bonus points if you share any stories about how or when you got into that ship! But not necessary!!) Then tag anyone whose fandom history you’d like to learn about!

Tagged by dear @taraknowless​ - thank you! :D

I might’ve to add though I have probably less ships from US shows because I’m also watching a lot of Korean dramas and those are shortlived yet passionate ships for me because Korean dramas usually end after airing for 3 to 4 months.

1. Beth/Rio - Good Girls

I don’t even clearly remember how I stumbled across the show but I think I came across a gifset of these two and I immediately fell in love and basically binge-watched season 1, right in time for season 2. I didn’t know Manny Montana - HOW!? - but knew Christina Hendricks and just loved her for being talented, curvy and beautiful. Their chemistry was off the charts and I also remember the one trailer for the second season with the song “Baby Outlaw” by Elle King and how they teased the kiss but didn’t spoil the bathroom scene which just pulled the rug from under the fandom I think. I’m fully invested. I love them and hope the writers don’t mess them up in the end. Don’t you dare, Jenna Bans!

2. Raon / Lee Young - Moonlight Drawn by Clouds

If there is one good thing about Korean dramas it’s that the main couple usually becomes canon and endgame. And this drama was just perfect to me. It’s a loose historical drama with cross gender dressing. Two of my favorite young Korean actors. Beautiful OST, beautiful moments. EVERYTHING! I think I haven’t watched a drama since 2016 that has my heart like this one and this ship specifically.

3. Go Dok Mi / Enrique - Flower Boys Next Door

Introvert and extrovert falling for eachother? Hell yeah... I’m totally here for it. I also love it’s not love at first sight and not just because they’re so different but because they have other love interests in the beginning. But in the end they’re just perfect for eachother because Dok Mi is coming out of her shell a little more but Enrique doesn’t demand her to change and she is calming him down a bit more.

4. Elizabeth Keen / Raymond Reddington - The Blacklist

I love age gap relationships - when it’s appropriate. But this ship traumatized me. The show - another NBC show, hence why I’m suspicious when it comes to Good Girls and Brio - played with the shippers in this fandom. They were going back and forth. Clearly writing romantic scenes and then going back to “oh but he could be her father” (UGH!) and then “he is just a father figure to her”. I stopped watching the show after season 3 because they made Elizabeth Keen go back to her lying husband who lies his a** off and was psychologically abusing her. Some things are NOT okay! Anyways, this ship is just over for me. I ended my watch after a episode which I consider a good ending for them. So I’m definitely in a happier place than many people who are still watching and hoping NBC will actually give them their ship.

And on another note: NBC also gave this Elizabeth a terrible wig in the first season. Their history of terrible wigs just continues until now. lol

5. Seo Eun Gi / Kang Maru - The Innocent Man

Soooo probably one of my very first ships... like serious ships. It’s different to watch a show and being obsessed with a couple then watching a show and just enjoying it. I watched Buffy and I liked a lot of the couples there but I never seriously shipped them. So I don’t count them. But Eun Gi and Maru are just the beginning for me I guess. They meet under such terrible circumstances and they’re so messed up until the end but the way they just find eachother no matter what and that in the end they just accept to be happy with eachother is just... shipping gold for me. I love them so much.

I tag: @lunafeather​, @sothischickshe​, @medievalraven​, @missmarycherry​, @jimmyhopper​, @goldfishangie​, @danis-web​, @riosbeth​ and everyone I probably forgot! :D