#anyway check out the links especially the playlist

[stillgotme]

Redemption is Returning

pinboard | playlist

[awrkive]

THE LOVE PROGNOSIS, pt. 1 — JJK (m.)

for as long as you can remember, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic.

the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.

PAIRING jungkook x female reader // mingyu x female reader

GENRE r18+ (angst, fluff, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

CHAPTER WORD COUNT 20k 😍

CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC medical!au, roommates!au, surgeon!jk, surgeon!reader (they are both 4th year residents and are co-workers), corporate lawyer!mingyu, oc and jk are bffs since med school but their love language is fighting each other <3, jk and mingyu are bffs during undergrad, jk sluts it out quite often😞, hopeless romantic!oc, countless mentions of weddings and engagements, angsty undertones, it’s the… yearning? 97liners assemble lmao, the surgeons gang: jk, oc, nayeon, doyeon, taehyung <3, explicit sexual content [dry h*mping, making out, c*nnilingus], alcohol consumption, arguments 🤓, i personally have only acquired a degree on Bingewatching Grey’s Anatomy so my medical knowledge is.. you see.. greys anatomy 💔 BUT! i did a lot of research for this pls dont crucify me 🙏🏼 belated happy birthday jaykay, my forever muse❤️❤️

NOTES hello awrkive nation!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry this got delayed!! gave up on trying to make this a one shot cos it stretched out into 50k words IM SORRY! anyways check out my trello page for updates on my writing progress 🩷 make sure to comment down ur thoughts and like and reblog to circulate hehe !! asks are deeply appreciated!! scream your takes!! let me know what you think!! also made a spotify playlist for this mini-series soooo if u wanna listen to the songs that i think embody this fic, i've linked it below 🫶🏼

[ TLP MOODBOARD ] // [ SPOTIFY PLAYLIST ]

SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

For as long as you can remember, you’ve always been a hopeless romantic.

The girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations and a cute little beach wedding to boot. You’re the kind of girl who thought her high school jock boyfriend would make good on his promise of keeping contact until college. That girl who thought the guy she met at nineteen at some sleazy frat party wanted more than just sex. The girl who thought that her boyfriend at twenty-one would finally be The One after introducing her to his parents on New Year’s Eve. You’re exactly the kind of girl who thought that it was smart to get a boyfriend in her first year of med school and get proposed to in fourth year.

Reality pretty much hit you hard with a big slap on the face; because you soon found out that your love interest doesn’t suddenly come into your life while you clock in your shift at a coffee shop, and there is no such thing as grand love declarations – no one wanted to profess their love to somebody at airports anymore, or even in the pouring rain, for god’d sake! And there is never going to be a beach wedding when there’s no one to do it with in the first place.

Because even if you do everything right, men just always somehow manage to do you wrong.

Your first boyfriend, Changsub, just suddenly ghosted you after you moved to a different town for college. When you saw him again for winter break, he was dating the girl from his History class – the blondie who was always the cause of your heated arguments in the lockers because you’ve always been jealous of her. Needless to say, you never talked to him again, and Changsub never bothered to reach out either.

At nineteen, you met Soohyun at a frat party your roommate invited you to. He was part of your college’s football team – the regular famous jock, and you felt a little bit special when he showed you a little bit of attention. When he chased you for a while, you caved in and had sex for the first time. You soon realized that was his thing – “popping them girls’ cherries” – as what you’ve overheard from his equally asshole teammates when you made an impromptu visit at their sweaty, stinky locker rooms – and that he apparently had a thing for girls in the cheerleading team (you were a part of it for awhile). Soohyun just told you it wasn’t working anymore. He was out and about with another girl three days later.

You swore at twenty-one, you were smarter. Heck, you got your heart broken two times already by then by the same brand of asshole with two different names and faces! You must’ve been a bit wiser, no?

But in your defense, Jaehyun was totally different from Changsub and Soohyun. He wasn’t an athlete. He was low-key… an introvert, and a total nerd. A film major guy who was so good at getting you through his art. He told you you were his muse, and you believed it wholeheartedly for the almost three years you’ve dated, most especially when he brought you to his hometown that one New Year’s Eve and introduced you to his family on your first anniversary.

You don’t exactly know what happened then… he just ran cold. Backed out of your plans of moving in together. Suddenly got so busy with his gigs when he normally would make time. Until the elephant in the room was acknowledged and it was just over before you knew it.

That relationship was your first “I love you”, Jaehyun said it was the same for him.

Fast forward, he gets married two years into the break-up, which is six years ago from the present. He has three kids now, two lovely girl twins and one boy. You didn’t go to the wedding, just sent him a post-it card that said you’re happy for him.

Which is true. He was your first love, but the heartbreak didn’t last long like you thought it would.

Because lastly, there was Eunwoo. The guy you met during the construction of the condominium near the apartment where you were staying at for med school.

Cha Eunwoo was an intern architect around that time, a nice one at that that it didn’t really take long for you guys to hit it off. Too many encounters on the street made you think that maybe it wasn’t just a coincidence anymore that he was there whenever you walked passed by. You really thought it would be difficult for you to love somebody again like how you loved Jaehyun… but Eunwoo made it easy. He did everything right. From the cute encounter, a grand love declaration in your fourth year together wherein he proposed to you in a romantic cruise ship dinner, down to the beach wedding he promised you during that night.

What was supposed to be a three-month engagement lasted longer than you both wanted, though. And it was mostly due to you because you told him you couldn’t marry yet. Not until you pass your licensure exam. Unintentionally, it stretched into a year. Eunwoo blamed it on your internship, said you were too busy that you couldn’t really give him time anymore.

You still remember that argument so vividly inside your head. When you said you told him already that it was life for you in residency. He rebutted with the sentiment that if you wanted to, you would. But you knew it was unfair of him to say that – not when he was also volunteering himself for the mountain of projects at his firm just so he could impress the senior architects there. Eventually, the engagement was called off. You two broke up. You both settled that it was the schedule conflict… you were just both so busy with your careers. Such big ambitions. So much to prove, passionate to a fault.

But two years ago, Eunwoo got married, and his wife is a general physician. The last time you two accidentally bumped into each other at a café downtown, he said he was “so happy and contented” that he felt like “taking a sabbatical to focus on being a husband”.

You guessed then he doesn’t actually mind dating doctors. Doesn’t mind making sacrifices for them. He just minds specifically you.

Your long, tragic dating history should already stop you by now from believing in love altogether. You mean, it just never works out for you, do they? The universe gives you a taste of what it’s like to embark on that journey, but it never takes you to the final destination.

But what can you say… love is just so special to you; romance, falling in love… they hold a significant place in your heart that you can’t help but bet on it every time it comes. You just have so much love to give – but unfortunately no one to give it to, because the men you date always don’t want you in the end of it all.

It bubbles up frustration in you, especially when you see all your exes getting fucking married left and right and them having the audacity to send you an invitation – and even thank you for what you’ve helped made them become. Eunwoo made that lame ass speech in the café. It’s such a subtle physical act of slapping you right on the bone of your cheeks and violently hurts you psychologically.

You’re frustrated that marriage seem to come easy for them, but never for you.

It’s why you unintentionally spat water out of your mouth when one of your co-residents, close friend, Nayeon, announced:

“Minhyuk proposed!”

Naturally, your other friends at the cafeteria attend to your spluttering, with Doyeon patting your back and asking, “Girl, are you okay?”

You shake your head repeatedly at them, tapping your chest to regulate your breathing, putting on a tight smile before turning to Nayeon.

“I’m sorry— what? Minhyuk proposed?” You ask her, and you don’t intend it to sound incredulous.

Nayeon, thank god, doesn’t notice it. And you realize it’s because she’s in a lovesick haze to care about anything else.

“Yep!” She almost squeals. “You guys are all invited to the engagement party next week on Friday.” She giggles when Doyeon pokes her side, lightheartedly teasing her about the wedding.

“Oh my god, I’m so happy for you!” You say, grinning widely, but your jaw hurts from the way you forced it. You look at each one of them; Nayeon, Doyeon, and Taehyung. “You guys are soon gonna be… married.”

Taehyung turns to Doyeon, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Doyeon’s still single, though.”

Doyeon throws a napkin at him. “It’s because your kind are bums. Anyway, Taehyung is also still not married.”

Taehyung pauses. Then, he purses his lips into a thin line, raising his eyebrows, nodding slowly.

“Well… about that…”

“He’s planning to propose to Hyerin!” Nayeon exclaims and quickly covers her mouth when some of the doctors in the cafeteria turned their heads to look in your direction. She shrinks herself small, as if realizing what she’s done, and then her eyes widen when she sees your guys reaction. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, Taehyung!” Nayeon quickly apologizes to him who looks like heaven and earth fell on him. She scrambles to say, “It’s just that I saw the ring in his locker today and so of course I have to ask and you guys met Hyerin, she’s an amazing woman and I’m so excited for her and Taehyung and she are a good couple aaand… I’m shutting my mouth.” She stops, closing an imaginary zipper over her lips when she notices the death glare Taehyung’s sending her way.

He turns to look at the rest of you.

“Well… you heard it from her.”

“Oh my god, Tae! This is insane!” Doyeon tells him. “When are you proposing?”

Taehyung shakes his head and rubs his nape. “I don’t know… she has this, uh, case that she’s confident on winning this Thursday. Maybe I’m going to do it when she gets home that day…” he trails off, and Nayeon coos at him when she sees his ears turning red. Doyeon throws back the napkin Taehyung threw at him, and she receives a juvenile pinch on the arm from Taehyung back.

You laugh along with them.

But deep inside, you’re finding it hard to process all the information that you learned today. You were just letting out words when you said that they were all going to be married, an exaggeration at best, because Nayeon is apparently now a fiancé, Taehyung has been in a long-term relationship with his prosecutor girlfriend that it’s easy to assume their next step is tying it down, and Doyeon is single but you refuse to believe that’s the case. It’s a wild theory that your friends have but you all feel like she has a secret boyrfriend or something.

Apparently, though, you’re not exaggerating at all. Because Taehyung is indeed planning to tie it down.

“It seems like everybody is getting married these days, no?” Doyeon mentions. She looks at you and you feel your heart beating abnormally for some reason. “What about you, __? How did that blind date last week go?”

She’s talking about the guy whom your cousin set you up with a few months back and have only gotten around to meet a week ago, Park Hyungshik.

They all seem to eagerly wait for your answer, and you can only meekly shake your head, sipping on a juice box so your jittering fingers can have something to do.

“It was okay.”

You can see the way their shoulders deflate, and you know you don’t need to explain the details for them to know how bad the date actually went.

“Fuck men.” Doyeon sighs.

“I agree.” Taehyung affirms, followed by Nayeon.

It earns a laugh from you.

“Fuck off, you guys.” You say, rolling your eyes, knowing they’re blindly judging Hyungshik in unconditional support for you. The joke is appreciated though, as it makes you light up and forget about the sudden grey that washes over your insides at the terrifying thought that maybe you’re never going to be married at this rate.

“You’re laughing right now but I’m still scared that you’ll just put up an IG story of you and Jungkook getting married on a random Sunday.” Nayeon suddenly says which elicits quite a violent reaction from you.

“Fucking gross, Nayeon!” You slap her on her arm and she gives you an ingenuine, “Owe!”

Taehyung laughs and adds in another nonsensical input, “That’s where my grandma and grandpa started, by the way. The line between love and hate is thin, after all.”

Your face contorts into a deeper frown every passing second as they continue to tease you.

“Fuck you, Taehyung. I’ll kill you in your sleep and me and Doyeon will hide the body.” You threaten him with your eyes and when he only laughs more, you make quick work of your hands and snatch out his egg omelet, putting it in your mouth fast enough he doesn’t get the chance to take it back.

“Aw, man! Hyerin cooked that for me!” He whines, going back to his seat, defeated after trying to get back the food from you.

But Nayeon is more concerned about another thing.

“Why is it only you and Doyeon? I can help hide Taehyung’s body, too!” She says, face painted with an expression so solemn as if you betrayed her.

“You made the joke first, you don’t get the privilege.” You cross your arms under your chest.

“I’ll commit perjury for you in court. Doyeon can’t do that ‘cos she still hasn’t told us about her secret boyfriend.” She insists.

Taehyung deadpans. “You guys really do love me a lot here, no?”

“We never pretended to love you, Taehyung,” Doyeon taps his arm, giving him a contrasting look of faux sympathy. “And for the nth time, I do not have a secret boyfriend,” She says dryly, sounding exhausted for having to say it again. And then, she turns to you, “Where is that punk, Jungkook, anyway?”

You scowl at her. “Seriously guys, why do you always look for him from me?”

“It’s just that you always know where he is, babe.” Nayeon says as a matter of fact. “No offense.” She says, looking straight into your eyes. When she sees your eyebrow raising higher, she adds quickly, “And malice!” And then she continues some more, “Even though I personally think you’d be cute together and all but we understand perfectly you both just have this sort of weird relationship where you’re platonic roommates and you’re like best friends but you argue all the time for no reason—”

“Oh my god, shut up, Nayeon.” Doyeon cuts her off before she goes on a spiral again.

“See why it’s only me and Doyeon who gets to hide Taehyung’s body when I kill him? You’re gonna tell the police word for word how exactly I did it.” You tell her, and she pouts at you.

“And we’re back to killing me again.” Taehyung comments, sighing, and you stick your tongue out at him in that juvenile manner, only that Taehyung does the same because he’s an even bigger child than you.

“Kids, stop fighting.” Doyeon warns. “Seriously, where is Jungkook?”

“He told me he has a laparoscopic cholecystectomy.” You say.

“Damn.” Comments Taehyung.

Everybody including you nod in understanding.

It’s always been an inside joke in your friend group that Jungkook and you are gonna end up marrying each other because you’ve known each other for a long time, the closest to each other, live together – and you both are also the ones that can’t keep a relationship.

After your breakup with Eunwoo in the middle of your internship which was four years ago, you took a break from dating for a very long time. It’s only two years ago that you picked up going on casual dates, having quick flings, all that sort of stuff. It’s an occasional thing and they never end up as something more.

It’s why you’re still single up until now, and it’s not even that you want to be so – you prefer to be in a happy, loving relationship, thank you very much – but you yearn for a deeper connection with someone, and every date just doesn’t seem to click. And even though you find a little ugly bitterness when somebody brings up marriage, you would never, ever want to settle down with somebody just ‘cause you feel like you have to.

Meanwhile, Jungkook is a special case. He’s single because he wants to be. He’s single because according to him, the bachelor life has “chosen” him and he can’t do anything about it.

It’s why he goes to this myriads of dates… with those… women. Sleeps around. Never attempted a serious relationship as far as you’ve known him except that one time in your last year of med school when he exclusively dated Min Sora for about a year.

You don’t judge him for the kind of life he lives. He’s just an admittedly good-looking, liberated guy who hooks up with good-looking women who are looking for the same fun as him. When you asked him if they ever do fall, he told you that they always agree prior sex that it’s just going be a one-time thing (two or three or four times if they particularly like each other… or whatever the hell he said).

Despite that, Jungkook is – and always has been your best friend. You met each other in med school and were in the same study group together with Doyeon and Taehyung.

As much as heartbreak is a constant in your life, Jungkook is a frontrunner in it as well because from being in almost all the same classes during med school for four years, you both decided to live in the same apartment unit together.

It has two different bedrooms, of course. The apartment’s a big unit he and Taehyung owned three years ago until Taehyung moved in with his girlfriend. Jungkook couldn’t pay for it all by himself, and the only logical roommate choice was you because when he proposed it to Doyeon, she just looked at him disgusted beyond belief.

You’ve been with each other for so long it’s quite impossible to not know the other like the back of their hand. You’ve seen him during his worst in med school days up until the years of your residency as does him you. You both shared the highs and lows of life with the other’s presence, and as much as you both quite differ in the way you approach certain things in life – he’s ultimately your person, the one-call-away friend (or the one-knock-to-the-door-friend), and the guy you can always lean on when things are just particularly hard to bear.

Jungkook may not be the most ideal when it comes to romance, but he’s the guy you’d certainly wish was your friend.

Why you don’t understand when the rest of your friends tease you both is because you’re so… platonic with each other. Sure, you’re closest – you knew each other first – but you and Jungkook never acted borderline sweet for other people to be making assumptions. You aren’t the kind of friends who call each other siblings but then get weirdly clingy towards each other behind everyone’s backs.

You may have had a tiny bit of crush on him when you first saw him during first year of med school – it’s a common fact that he’s handsome and whatever, okay – but he had never shown interest; from post grad all throughout the years of your shared residency. You never, either.

But maybe it’s the teasing, since you always fight like goddamn children whenever you’re near each other. There’s nothing romantic about it, though, you don’t think so. In your defense, that’s how your dynamic works! That’s how your friendship with everybody works! If you didn’t banter with a person, you probably hate them.

Shaking the thoughts of Jungkook in your head, you continue to eat your lunch, asking questions about Nayeon’s further plans, squeezing your break with the rest of your friends, knowing your pager is going to beep anytime soon.

What Doyeon said, though, everybody does seem to be getting married these days. If you could sigh, you would, but you have to do with a little bit of internal mulling for now lest one of the gang notices and you get interrogated for it. You don’t want to get aired out for feeling suddenly weird at the tough realization that again, everybody seems to be getting married and proposed to except… you.

You’re happy for them – you really are! You’d be such a shit friend if you weren’t. But there’s a pang in your chest and you know exactly where it’s coming from.

There was an added case to the OR schedule when you checked it earlier this morning, and you were assigned to it as per instruction from the chief of your team – a melanoma excision.

After your lunch, you went to scrub in for the surgery and it was what made you busy including the paper works needed to be done, so busy that you thought you’d forgotten the pain from a while ago.

Turns out, it sat at some bench at the far end of your heart, hiding and shrinking itself for a little while, only showing up when it’s time for you to clock out; in the quiet of the locker room, alone while you change out of your scrubs.

You let out a heavy sigh and lean your forehead to your locker door, closing your eyes and getting your breathing even.

You’re just tired from work. You tell yourself. You had two surgeries today; it would be true. But you know it’s not entirely that. It’s the reminder of your loneliness when you see an envelope peeking out from your locker.

You take out the invitation card for Nayeon’s engagement party she’s given you this afternoon. It’s a thick off-white material that has her and her fiancé’s name printed on gold beveled font. So intricate to the touch; you deduce once you run your fingers over it.

“Yo, what are you up to?”

You quickly stand up straight and hide the envelope behind your back, your other hand going right above your chest when you turn around only to see Jeon Jungkook approaching the inside of the room.

“Jesus christ, learn to knock.” You say, genuinely surprised and taken aback. Jungkook cocks a brow at you.

“Feisty.” He muses, and the way his eyes fall to your chest makes you realize you’re still in your bra having not put yourself into a clean and fresh top yet since you decided to have a sentimental moment in your locker door like some high school girl.

“Asshole.” You mutter under your breath, making quick work of putting on a shirt.

Only when you’re done wearing it do you see Jungkook stripping out of his own scrubs until he’s left with only his boxers across from you.

“Some decorum, please?” You tell him, turning around to sit on a bench to change out of your sneakers and wearing a more comfortable pair of sandals.

You hear Jungkook laugh behind you.

“What can I say? I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, you see.” You take a quick look at him so he can see how far your eyes roll to the back of your head. Jungkook ignores that, wearing his shirt while he says, “You’re out the same time tonight?”

You take out your ponytail and comb your hair through your fingers to fix it.

“Yeah. You?”

Jungkook smirks and suddenly there’s something flying at your direction. You’re quick on your reflex and manage to catch it on time, only to realize it’s his keys.

“You’re driving.”

It earns an instant groan from you.

Jungkook puts on another pair of shoes while laughing. “What? I drove us here this morning.”

You’re about to give him an attitude but then you realize making him pity you may be more effective. Stepping closer to him, you sit on the bench where he placed his foot to tie his shoes on. You look up at him and try your puppy face on.

“But I had two surgeries today, Kook.”

Jungkook stares at you, his expression unreadable. A few seconds pass by, with you blink up at him, and you think he’s gonna cave.

Instead of getting swayed by your poor attempt to get his sympathy, he takes down his leg and says with a sarcastic smile on his face, “I did a major one. Yours were both minor.”

Your shoulders deflate, making sure to jab at his thigh that was at eye level and snark, “And two is more than one. Fuck off, Jeon.”

Jungkook follows behind you while his boisterous ass is laughing.

“Don’t get pissed at me, are you kidding? It’s your turn to drive. Favor for a favor.”

You turn back to him, and because you were walking in a faster pace, he crashes to your back. He grips your shoulder, pursing his lips into a thin line, obviously holding in another fit of laughter.

“You’re gonna drive us tomorrow here, do you understand?” You say, giving him an ominous glare.

Jungkook raises his hands up. “Okay, okay.” He nods his head, and to piss you off more, he adds, “Bossy.”

That earns him a pinch to the side which he quickly dodges. Rolling your eyes, you shake your head and continue to head towards the exit.

You both enter his car soon after.

“I miss my car…” you longingly say, turning on the ignition to start driving.

“It’s still in the shop?” Jungkook asks while rummaging around his compartment glove to look for a snack. He always has a few in it. It’s convenient.

“Yeah, the mechanic told me it’s gonna take a few more weeks. So,” you look at him bitterly.

“That’s tough.” Jungkook comments, opening a granola bar and biting on it. He extends his hand to you. “You want some?”

You stretch your neck to the side, eyes still on the road while taking a bite off his food.

“Tough because you can’t bring your girls here anymore?” You joke a little. Jungkook gives you a dirty look. Your eyes widen a little, realizing what you just said. “Please say you don’t fuck in your car. I’ve touched your passenger seat and your backseat.”

“Give me more credit, yeah? I don’t fuck in my car, that shit is unhygienic as hell,” Jungkook rolls his eyes, and you heave a sigh of relief upon his confirmation. “I wine and dine my women before we do the deed, thank you very much.”

“You’re just so sweet, aren’t you?” You say with a straight face.

Jungkook sing-songs. “Just like how they like it.”

“You’re really beating them off with a stick these past few years, huh?”

“A gorgeous stick, might I add.”

That earns a disgusted groan from you, which he laughs at, and you drop the subject before it even goes to another place.

There’s a comfortable silence that sits on the air for a while until Jungkook speaks.

“Hey, what was that earlier?”

“Hm?”

“In the locker room.” He says.

You shift uncomfortably in your seat. Clearing your throat, you answer, “Oh, it’s just, uh… Nayeon’s getting married. Do you know that?”

“Yeah.”

You turn to him in surprise. “Wait, how? You didn’t eat lunch with us.”

Jungkook snorts. “I saw the invitation cards in her locker yesterday, she thought she was being discreet. She threatened me to keep it a secret when I asked her about it, though. I guess she told you guys today at lunch?”

“Oh my god, you really need to stop snooping in everybody’s locker.”

“I do not snoop in in everybody’s locker.”

You give him a certain look. Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Don’t change the subject.”

Letting out a heavy breath, you look straight ahead as you say, “I don’t know. I wasn’t doing anything…”

“Just getting a little sentimental in the locker room?”

“A bit.” You purse your lips. “But it’s not a big deal.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything to that. From your peripheral vision, you can see him staring at you but you choose to ignore that, focusing on driving instead.

“If you say so.” He says after a while.

You’re thankful for the dismissal. Jungkook’s usually insistent that you tell him everything – he’s just nosy like that – but deep down you know it’s because he cares. And if you’re in any trouble, he’s always willing to be there for you may it be listening to you vent or eat unholy amount of Chinese take out in the middle of the night.

As you went on the road, he played a few of his playlists and they served as background noise as you both talked about your day, like how your surgeries went. It’s a usual drive when you’re both in the same car together – which you’ve done quite a few times now because after all, you work in the same building and gas is expensive. It’s the most logical way to save up in this economy.

These past few weeks, though, it just so happened that your car got a little bitchy and started to act up so you made a bargain with Jungkook.

Anyway, you both arrive at your apartment shortly, with Jungkook and you taking turns in the shower.

“You wanna order in something?” Says Jungkook who’s currently drying his hair, a towel wrapped around his lower half.

He wasn’t kidding when he said he’s some kind of exhibitionist. Jungkook has the habit of walking around the apartment shirtless and sometimes with just even his boxers on, and it’s not like you aren’t used to seeing it! You admittedly see a lot of it when you guys would change in the locker rooms back at the hospital, but that is work, and you have more things to worry about at work other than your co-worker changing in front of you.

Still, it’s hard to get used to his exhibitionist tendencies. You had a hard time with it especially in the first few months of living together, but you had to adapt, and right now, even though you can say you’re partly immune to it, his naked upper half still bothers you. A little.

Listen, you’re a human being with primal instincts and men who have good bodies do, in fact, distract you a tiny bit.

“Nope.” You take a sip of the glass of water, closing the refrigerator with your foot, looking at Jungkook who groans at your answer. “What?”

“I was hoping we could split the delivery fee.” He deadpans.

“Wow. And they say chivalry is dead.”

Jungkook laughs while you head towards your room. He follows you until you reach your door so you turn to him, putting your hand on your hip as you ask, “What?”

“Don’t think too much about it.”

Your furrow your brows. “How do you mean?”

“The wedding,” Jungkook says with a soft smile. “And weddings, in general. I know you’re thinking about a few things up in that smart brain of yours. Don’t.”

You’re completely taken aback by his words, but at the same time, you’re not at all that surprised. Jungkook can read you almost like an open book.

Still, you decide to lie.

“I’m not thinking about weddings, weirdo.”

“Liar,” Jungkook’s brow arches, and you know he’s figured out your shit. “Your nostrils flared up. You’re lying.”

You groan, giving him a light jab at his bicep. Jungkook chuckles.

“My nostrils do not flare up.”

“It does so,” Jungkook points out. “Like this.” He stands there on your door and start to purposefully enlarge his nostrils to imitate you.

You roll your eyes. “My face is not like that when I lie. Go back to your room,” you say, pushing him slightly out of your doorway, ready to close it in front of his face, but you add more, “And don’t bother me.”

Jungkook stands up straight and gives you a salute. “Yes, ma’am.” he says in a register octave lower, walking away with laughter as you tell him he’s annoying. You roll your eyes once again before finally closing your bedroom door.

A lot of people may judge your love for romance as naivety, but you really couldn’t care less. Even if you get heart broken countless times, love will never fail to make your heart soft and make you feel like you’re floating.

It’s exactly what you think as you look at Nayeon and her fiance, Minhyuk, on the stage huddled so close together, laughing and giggling to each other. They look so incredibly happy. So connected. So sweet. It brings a feeling of warmth to your heart – to see one of the most important people in your life finally meeting the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with. It makes you melt on the inside to see two people so deeply in love that it emanates in the whole venue of the garden their engagement party is being held at today.

The weather is sunny – not too hot, like the universe knows not to fuck it up for Nayeon and her fiance. There’s also a lot of people; their families, some of Nayeon’s friends and probably Minhyuk’s – people you’ve never seen before. You assume it’s Minhyuk’s friends or acquaintances. The guest list for their wedding must be big, but it isn’t surprising, given that Minhyuk comes from the big corporate world.

“You want more champagne?” Jungkook whispers beside you, ready to stand up from his seat.

You stare at him, and you notice his eyes are not even on yours. He has it glued towards a woman across from you. A pretty woman wearing a satin dress that shows off her slender figure. You notice Jungkook’s been looking at her since the beginning of the party.

Shaking your head, you scoff. “You’re just gonna pick up some woman.”

Jungkook sputters and quickly take his gaze off the woman. “No, I’m not. I just think she’s familiar.”

You raise your brow. “Let me guess… one of your hook-ups?”

Jungkook huffs. And then off he goes.

Everybody has their plus-ones except you two, and now that Jungkook is probably off his mission to find a hook-up for the night, you’re left alone as usual.

You don’t feel bad about it. The champagne is good and there’s hors d'oeuvre on the table.

“Miss?”

You look up, finding the owner of the voice.

And holy hell.

“Hi.” You greet reluctantly, not sure if he meant you. You’re also trying to contain a blush from spreading across your cheeks because goddamn, was the man beautiful.

He smiles. Wow. Whoever this is… he looks pretty damn good.

“Is this seat taken?” The stranger says, pointing to the now empty seat beside you. You look around but can’t really spot Jungkook.

So, you shake your head, gesturing to the chair beside you. “No, not really. You want to sit here?”

He nods. “Alone?”

“No, not really… but I’m Nayeon’s friend. I’m her co-resident at the hospital.” You smile, taking a sip of your champagne that’s already about to run out. “Are you one of Minhyuk’s friends?”

“You guessed right. Law school friends. Worked at the same firm when he was a practicing lawyer until he quit some time ago,” You nod at that, and he gives you a boyish smile again. He offers his hand for a handshake. “I’m Mingyu, by the way. Kim Mingyu.”

You take his hand.

“I’m ___.” You both laugh when you shake your hands together.

His hands feel rough but at the same time warm. It’s nice.

“You’re a doctor?” Mingyu asks, keeping up the conversation.

“Yeah. A resident surgeon.” You glance at him. “I’m assuming you’re a lawyer?”

Mingyu nods. “Yeah. Corporate.”

“I see.” You nod, looking in front of you again, trying to stray from any eye contact. He’s way too attractive for your own liking.

“Say… I hate to make this about work but I just need to ask real quick,” Mingyu says, and when you look at him, you furrow your brows at the worry in his eyes, suddenly growing nervous at the depth of seriousness it’s showing. “So, I got here, and I suddenly have this sort of… feeling of heart palpitation. Increased heart rate. It’s like it’s missing a beat and it’s been making me real nervous.”

“Oh,” you look at him in concern. “That’s— did you drink uh… coffee?” He shakes his head. You place your champagne glass on the table and turn your body to him so you can face him properly. You don’t know if it’s just the doctor in you, but you forget about pretty much everything when you see or hear someone feeling under normal. “Are you a smoker, then?” You continue your line of questioning.

“I quit years ago.”

“I see… okay, uhm…” You look around, trying to look for something. “There’s a lot of roots for heart palpitations. Does your heart feel like pounding right now? Flip-flopping or something like that?”

Mingyu nods.

“Okay… well I can’t say for sure – I wish I have stethoscope with me right now. But I’m gonna lay out all the possible reasons why you might be feeling so. Smoking’s out of the question. You didn’t drink coffee, but do you drink more than one cup in a day?”

“Not in the past few weeks, no.”

“So, you’re not overcaffeinated, then. I really don’t want to lay this out on you, but you might want to check in with your doctor if this is not your first time feeling this. Heart palpitations is normal most of the time but I’ve seen lots of people get in these situations and it ends up being arrhythmia, which is a really serious condition.” You look at him straight in the eyes.

Mingyu looks stricken back. “Well… are there any more reasons out there that’s not… as dangerous?”

You still in your position.

Oh, right. There is more.

“Are you feeling certain emotions right now? Like, really, strong emotion?” You say, internally face-palming yourself because how can you not remember one of the very basic roots of palpitation!

“Yes, I am.”

“Well… certain emotions do trigger your heartbeat to accelerate. It might be anxiety… fear, panic, stress…” You look at Mingyu, noticing that his once serious face is now forming a smile. That makes you back-track, but you hesitantly continue. “... infatuation.”

And then he says, “I think you’re right off the bat with that one.”

Your lips part slightly. A few seconds passed and then suddenly, what he’s doing registers in your head, and you can’t help but to let out a laugh.

“Oh my god,” You say in disbelief. “You weren’t– you weren’t actually asking for medical advice?”

“Bad way to flirt with a pretty woman, huh?” Mingyu smiles and it’s so dashing that you shy away from his gaze, but you’re still laughing at the turn of events.

“God, no. I can’t believe I didn’t get it earlier.” You say, gingerly placing a palm on your forehead at the embarrassment.

But Mingyu just laughs along with you.

“It was just bad flirting. I’m sorry,” He says, sipping from his glass and takes a glance at you. “I can do better.”

You arch your brow. “Oh?”

“Yeah. If you let me. Say, Friday, ten o’clock?”

You chuckle. “That was really smooth.”

Mingyu was about to say something when suddenly, you hear a familiar voice approaching your direction.

“Mingyu?” When you look up, you see Jungkook. You eye him in confusion, wondering how the hell he knew Mingyu’s name.

But then Mingyu speaks and you grow even more confused.

“Jeon Jungkook?”

“Oh hey, it’s you,” Jungkook says, and he looks genuinely surprised. Mingyu stands up from his seat to give Jungkook a hug, slapping him on the back – kind of like how guys usually greet each other. You watch as Jungkook reluctantly reciprocates it.

“You work with Nayeon?” Mingyu asks, and even with a smile on his face, you can see he’s also in disbelief to be seeing Jungkook.

Jungkook nods at him, still looking a bit stricken. You can’t figure out if it’s just his surprised face or something else. You’ve never seen him look so… stunned like this before. Nevertheless, he says, “Yeah. How ‘bout you?”

“Been with Lee and Song for the past three years, Minhyuk’s previous firm before he quit and went out to the business world.” Mingyu chuckles, tapping Jungkook’s back.

Jungkook smiles. “That’s crazy, man. I can’t believe we’ll meet here again.”

Mingyu, seemingly sharing the same sentiment, says, “Man, it’s been, like, what– almost ten years?”

“Yeah, yeah, too long, man.” Jungkook nods, chuckling slightly.

You hate to interrupt, but you’re confused, and you need to confirm something.

“Wait,” You butt in, making them both look at you. “You know each other?”

Jungkook sits across from you while Mingyu follows.

“We did pre-med together during undergrad.” Mingyu says.

“You did pre-med in undergrad?” You look at Mingyu incredulously, and he nods with a bashful smile on his face. You squint your eyes at him, feeling slightly betrayed that he asked you all that stuff earlier when the whole while he has a pre-med degree.

Jungkook cuts in.

“How the hell do you two know each other?” He said, leaning back and pointing between you two. It seems like he’s finally out of the trance he was in earlier.

“I just met him today.” You tell Jungkook, blinking your eyes at him.

“Well, how about you two? How do you know each other?” Mingyu asks and the whole thing suddenly feels like watching a game of tennis somehow.

You’re about to answer when Jungkook beats you to it.

“We’re co-workers. Together with Nayeon.”

Mingyu nods his head and then turns to you, “So not his girlfriend, then?”

“What? No!” you didn’t mean for it to come out that violently, so you repeat it in a gentler manner this time. “I mean no. What?”

Mingyu turns to Jungkook who’s now looking confused.

“I was just asking her out for a date.”

You suddenly feel blood rushing to your cheeks at his straightforwardness. In front of Jungkook, out of all people! You aren’t embarrassed! You just feel weird and shy.

But Jungkook looks at you as if silently asking you if Mingyu’s being serious. You tuck your bottom lip under your teeth.

Then he nods his head slowly. “Really?” Jungkook chuckles, looking at you. “What’d you say?”

Mingyu looks at you with a hopeful smile. “What do you say?”

You feel weird about doing the whole thing in front of someone, but you look at Mingyu again – how attractive he is, his charming smile, his physique, and his charisma… and you don’t think it’d be too bad to chance at least one date with him.

So, you nod, avoiding Jungkook’s sudden way too intense gaze.

“I would like to,” But he cocks his head to the side. You chuckle, adding, “Yes, Mingyu. I’d like to go out with you.”

“Woah!”

“Jungkook, please knock!”

You look at Jungkook irritably while you lock your stud earring, standing up from your chair in front of the vanity table to pick up your purse from the edge of your bed.

“I was just going to borrow your hair dryer.” Jungkook says, trudging inside your room freely which makes you roll your eyes at him.

You watch as he expertly makes his way to your vanity table and slides one of the drawers, taking out the hair dryer.

“You need to buy your own one.” You say with a straight face.

But Jungkook just stands there for a while, and when his stare goes on longer than necessary, you start feeling conscious.

“What.”

“What are you so… dolled up for?”

You jab him on the chest when you get near him, enough to make him wince. “What an asshole way to say I look good.”

Jungkook laughs. Your heart drops.

Most of the time, you understand that your dynamic consists of teasing and bantering with each other until one of you gets pissed off. That’s usually you. But they never go too far – you’ve built a foundation of respect in your relationship which you love. However, sometimes, there are moments when you’re under a certain kind of pressure – like right now in which you only have twenty minutes before Mingyu arrives to pick you up outside of your building complex and you still haven’t done your hair – and Jungkook laughing while looking at you is not helping.

The faux confidence falls as fast as that.

“Okay, Jungkook, can you just tell me nicely if this dress looks ridiculous or if I put too much make-up on?” You say, failing not to sound defensive.

Jungkook’s quick to halt his laughter, and he looks taken aback at your clipped tone.

“What? I didn’t say anything.”

“You were laughing at me.” You point out, turning around to rummage through your make-up products scattered on the top surface of the furniture, thinking that maybe you overblushed. So, you look at yourself in the mirror.

Jungkook situates himself on your vanity table so you’ll look at him.

“Wha— you thought I was laughing at you?” You don’t answer, checking if your cheeks are way too pink, purposefully ignoring him. “Okay, that’s– I wasn’t. I’m sorry if you thought I was. I laughed at your words, not the way you look.”

You let out a sharp breath, look at him angrily, ready to present more argument, but you see the look of sincerity on his face and you realize then that you’re being borderline sensitive.

You sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Jungkook places a gentle hand on your shoulder.

You pout at him. “It’s just… first date jitters. I feel slightly anxious, I don’t know,” You sigh again, “I bought this dress two days ago.” You say, looking down at it. It has a tube top with thin straps, fitting your upper half like a glove but flows prettily to the bottom, stopping just about four inches above your knee.

“It looks good on you.” Jungkook comments, and you quint your eyes at him.

“You swear?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Why would I lie?”

“To make me feel better, I don’t know,” Then you can’t help but chuckle. “Anyway, does my make-up look okay? I didn’t put too much blush?”

“You have lipstick on your teeth,” Jungkook says, baring his own to emphasize what he meant.

“Shit.” You panic, quickly ducking down to check it in the mirror.

You soon realize Jungkook was fucking with you when you hear him laughing beside you.

“I hate you.” You hiss, pushing his thighs so he can get off your vanity table. He remains on his seat, fighting your force while laughing. “Ugh, don’t you have a date of your own or something?” You groan as you take the hair straightener on the side, sitting back down again on the chair to straighten a certain part of your hair again so it’s looks nothing but perfect.

“Ohh, so you are going on a date.” Jungkook says as if he wasn’t there in front of you when Mingyu asked you out.

You give him a weird look. “With Mingyu, remember?”

“Oh, right.” He’s quiet for awhile, and then, “You’re really dating him?”

You put down the hair straightener.

“Yeah… why?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Nothing.”

But you want to insist. “He’s your friend. You told me he’s a nice guy.”

He nods his head. “That’s true.”

You eye him suspiciously. “You’re making me nervous.”

Jungkook chuckles and pats your head. You scowl at him and slap his wrist.

“You’re like a cat,” Jungkook comments. “Anyway, I told you, it’s nothing. It’s just…” He trails off. You look at him, waiting for his continuation.

You don’t expect the genuine smile he sends your way.

“I wish it works out for you this time.”

Lips parted, you think about what to say to that, but nothing comes out of your mouth.

Jungkook gets off the table and brings with him your blow dryer. Before he heads out completely, he tells you, “And don’t worry about how you look. Mingyu likes pretty women. You’re exactly his type.”

“Really, mini-golf?” You ask Mingyu, but he already has his fingers intertwined with you as you both enter the course.

You’ve just had dinner at some fancy restaurant that served, admittedly, good steak. He told you it was some sort of special place for him; where he takes himself to whenever he closes a deal or wins a case. You tried not to think too much about what it meant that he brought you there – given that you’re only on your first date.

But hey, maybe he thought you deserve to eat good steak? That’s probably what it was.

You don’t ask.

You thought the night was over when you finished your meal and good two glasses of Malbec, but Mingyu commented in his car that he’d love to burn off the food for a moment – and you didn’t really want to leave just yet.

So, you end up at Pier 26, and Mingyu’s enthusiastic.

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” He says, and you have no choice but to follow behind him.

“I really don’t know how.” You tell him, smile bashful as you watch him carry the golf club, walking towards the direction of the ball. 

“What’s up with that? I’ll teach you,” Mingyu says, putting down the club and unbuttoning his cuff to push his sleeves up to his forearms.

You try not to focus too much on the veins that show up at the action and how his biceps are almost fighting to pop out of his sleeves. His hands look so big compared to yours when he offers it to get you to stand beside him.

“Really? You’re gonna teach me like a big… macho man?” You tease, taking his hand nonetheless.

Mingyu smiles once you’re beside him, placing himself behind you, guiding your hands so you can hold the club together.

You can feel his breath on your neck as he instructs you what to do. “You just have to stand like this,” He lets go of your hands in favour of your hips, and your breath hitches when he whispers, “Look ahead, and you just… let go.”

The golf ball jumps out of the line and you giggle at the way it completely misses the hole.

“That was… wow.” Mingyu says, staring at the ball.

“Shut up! Okay, okay, I’ll try it alone.” You say, dismissing his incredulous look, a bit embarrassed at your performance.

From your periphery, you see Mingyu closely watching you as you grip the golf club a little less tight this time so it’s not too tense when you hit the ball. Squinting your eyes, you eye the goal and let out a controlled breath. You relax your posture just like he taught you and when you finally hit the ball, it lands right in the hole perfectly.

You turn to look at Mingyu immediately with widened eyes, and when he gives you a huge grin, you do a little jump out of excitement.

“Oh my god, I did that!”

Mingyu chuckles at your enthusiasm. And due to the high of hitting the goal once, you agree to another round until it turns into a session.

You only stopped when you got tired. Nonetheless, you realize it’s actually something you’re good at, and that geeks you inside. Meanwhile, Mingyu suggested you walk around the park for a little while.

Mingyu told you he was just going to buy some food at a stall, but as you sit on the bench to wait for him, you think about how you’d like to go with Jungkook here some time to challenge him to mini-golf. You almost always never beat him to any games… surely, he must not know mini-golf, right? You can finally have the upper hand, if ever.

“Ice cream?” Mingyu returns from the stall and extends the cone to you. You try not to show your wince. You’re lactose intolerant.

“Thanks.” You say, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. It’s not that bad, and you want this date to be perfect. Mingyu joins you on the bench.

The night’s cold and you regret not bringing your blazer with you and leaving it in his car instead.

“You know,” you start to strike up a conversation. “I’m still pretty shocked you studied pre-med.”

Mingyu chuckles. “Why?”

“I don’t know… but in hindsight, I should’ve known the moment you asked me about “heart palpitations”.” You say, quoting the last two words, trying to tease him.

“I really thought that was a good idea, huh?”

You snort. “It was–” you gesture with your hand, pursing your lips. “Pretty lame, yeah. But admittedly… it was cute. So, there.”

Mingyu laughs. “Thanks. I also thought that was a brilliant way to flirt with a doctor.”

You shake your head, laughing at him.

Silence sits in the air for a while until he speaks.

“You know what they say? Study law when you don’t know what to do after getting a degree, so law it was.” Mingyu shrugs.

“You didn’t see yourself as a doctor then?” You ask curiously.

“Not really. Didn’t really think too much about it when I chose a pre-med program as my major. Soon realized it wasn’t for me. I was lost in law school too for a good couple of years, though. But I love it now,” Mingyu looks at you who’s intently listening. “You? You always wanted to be a doctor?”

You look ahead, nodding. “For as long as I can remember.”

“Just like Jungkook, huh?” Mingyu chuckles. “He really wanted it a lot. I remember him excelling during those moving tests. He had a lot of people getting jealous over him for balancing his school and basketball lives so well, you know?”

You furrow your brows. “He did basketball?”

“Yeah. We were in the varsity team together.”

“Hah.” You smile. Jungkook. A jock. “That makes sense.”

“That I’m a jock?” Mingyu asks with a teasing smile on his face.

You didn’t mean him, but regardless, you nod, finding that it also applies to him. “You look like someone who plays basketball.”

“And what’s the diagnosis of that, doctor?” Mingyu leans closer.

You nibble on your bottom lip.

“Let’s say you have a… chronic jock face.” You say, not backing down from Mingyu’s sudden challenge of eye contact.

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing. Is that a good thing?”

You chuckle. “It just means that you are conventionally attractive.”

“Ah,” he nods, but you notice his hand making its way around your waist. You don’t make a move to protest it. “Then, can a conventionally attractive guy like me chance a kiss with a pretty girl like you?”

Your breath hitch when he leans his face closer. One more inch and his lips will lock against yours.

“Yeah.”

Mingyu doesn’t waste a second longer and leans in to plant his lips on yours. It’s nothing short of a peck when he breaks away from the contact, but when you look up at him with parted lips, he goes back to kissing you again, cupping your cheek and angling your face towards him better, this time taking you closer by your waist.

It starts off as something experimental, like he’s testing the waters first. But when you take out your tongue to prod the side of his mouth, he does the same and inserts his tongue in yours.

You did not really think that you’d end up making out of some bench at a park, but here you are.

“Oh,” you unintentionally let out a low moan, and you hear a guttural sound coming out from his throat. Your hands come up to fist his collar as some sort of support, and Mingyu responds with a slight pinch to your hip.

You break away from the kiss to regain your breathing, and Mingyu takes that as an opportunity to plant kisses across your cheek down to your jaw. Sighing at the sensation, you close your eyes as you let yourself get drowned in the feeling of his soft lips against your skin.

But when you open your eyes, you see people walking by at a short distance and that’s when you wake up from your trance.

“Mingyu,” You call him, but he’s too busy kissing your neck. “Hey, I think we shouldn’t do this here.”

Mingyu stops. Then, he looks at you, eyes hooded, hair a mess, his lips swollen, some of your lipstick getting on it.

Your blood flows to your cheek at the sight. He looks unbelievably hot. God, what more if he was under you and you were doing more than just kissing and– no, no. Not going there. Absolutely no thoughts of … there.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Mingyu says after seemingly snapping himself out of the trance as well. “Shit. I really am.”

He looks so apologetic, so you put your hand over his arm.

“It’s fine. Just uh… let’s take it slow?” You tell him.

Mingyu gives you a small smile.

“Slow. Yeah. Let’s do it slow.”

What's the definition of slow, anyway?

The tension at the park was too much and you made out some more in his car with heavy petting that may have included Mingyu copping a feel of your boob and you coyishly feeling out the bulge in his pants.

Safe to say, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

You started coming over to his place, but you still haven’t had sex. Not yet at least. You haven’t even taken off your clothes in front of each other yet. Suddenly, you remember being eighteen and just making out with your boyfriend – the territory of any form of sex prohibited for some reason. Somehow, you two have never gotten around that for the past few weeks you’ve hung out. It may be because you always stop it before it happens, but it’s not because you don’t want to; just that it feels like you’re going to a place you won’t know how to go back to.

So, it’s mostly date nights, a sneaky coffee hung during the afternoon when you’re not particularly busy and your schedule aligns, and making out in his car until your pager beeps or when his phone rings.

And as good as Mingyu may be with his lips when he locks them with yours, he’s more than what you thought he was.

You have to admit that you had doubts when you first met him. You don’t trust a lot of good-looking men, because they always end up being assholes. He also has the face of a guy who – in a cliche fashion – likes to break women’s hearts on a regular basis. You went to the first date a little hopeful of something real, but you knew your luck with romance isn’t the best – may be the worst you’ve ever known – but recently, you’re starting to think that maybe the poison’s wearing out and Mingyu may just be… decent.

Decent enough to be a boyfriend. Your boyfriend.

And it feels so weird to think so. You’ve been single for so long, and sure, you went to a lot of dates during the past two years but Mingyu’s going on two months, and everything just seems so… right. Like this can be it.

You hate having wishful thinking. You hate getting your hopes high. But god, he makes it so hard.

“You going with us later?” Nayeon asks, stretching her neck while looking at you.

You’re all currently at some abandoned ward at the hospital where you take quick breaks from your shift to eat or talk for a while.

“Where to?” You ask, taking a bite off Taehyung’s egg sandwich which he gave you earlier.

“We’re going out for barbecue tonight. Jungkook didn’t tell you?” Doyeon says, coming back from her quick trip to the vending machine.

You look at them confused. “No, he didn’t tell me about… barbecue or going out.”

As if on cue, Jungkook arrives in the scene.

“She’s not coming with us,” Jungkook says, and you look at him with visible offense on your expression. “She’s going out with her boyfriend tonight.”

The room quickly becomes rowdy at the declaration, and you flip Taehyung off when you hear him let out a lighthearted “boo”.

“Oh my god,” Nayeon squeals. “Mingyu’s your boyfriend now?” She asks, going over to the bed you’re sitting on, huddling closer to you ready to hear some gossip.

Doyeon looks surprised as well.

You look at Jungkook to give him a death glare. The fucker just puts his hands up in the air.

“No, god– why would you believe him?” You huff out, rolling your eyes. “Mingyu’s not my boyfriend.” Nayeon’s shoulders deflate. “Yet.” You add, and suddenly, she smiles. You take a glance at Doyeon who looks at Jungkook subtly. Or not so subtly, since you saw her. She didn’t seem to notice.

But Jungkook just wears a smug expression as he approaches you closer.

“See?” He shrugs, plopping himself on the same bed beside you. He looks at everybody. “She barely goes home nowadays.”

“Shut up, Jungkook!” You say, continuously hitting him on the arm as he makes little effort to dodge them.

But as usual, your friends love to bully you and join in the teasing.

“So, you joining or what?” Taehyung says after a while.

You actually had plans with Mingyu tonight. Just the usual dinner at his place and some movie and some fooling around, but you remember Jungkook’s teasing and felt the competitive need for him to not be right.

Besides, you don’t want to be the kind of friend who suddenly ditches their friends just because they’re starting to date – and you know that beneath their good-natured chaff is a genuine feeling of sulk because you’ve been admittedly bailing out on all your hangs lately.

It isn’t even that much because you don’t get to hang outside the hospital often – but you usually do go out on Fridays or Saturdays for some barbecue and go to a KTV bar afterwards. It’s sort of like became a tradition at this point, and it dawns on you that you haven’t been present in them for the past few weeks, which makes you feel bad.

“I’m coming with.”

Jungkook immediately eyes you with an arched brow. “For real?”

You challenge him with a look. “Yes, why?”

“I just remember you mentioning you’re going to Mingyu’s tonight.”

“Eh,” you shrug. “I’m just gonna tell him I’m hanging out with you all. No big deal.” You say, believing what you said. Mingyu’s come accustomed to your group of friends and you’re both adults who live separate lives. As far as you know him, he wouldn’t be making a big deal out of you cancelling on a plan. You think he’ll understand. You hope he does.

“Oh my god, don’t!” Nayeon cuts in. “Don’t worry about us. Go date your hot lawyer boyfriend right now. Are you insane?”

You look at her incredulously. “What are you talking about?”

Doyeon looks at you, nodding her head. “Nayeon’s right. If it’s between a date with my boyfriend or having barbecue with Taehyung and Jungkook, I’d rather be with my boyfriend,” She looks at the two guys. “No offense.”

“As if I don’t want to be with my girlfriend either tonight?” Taehyung says in disbelief.

Doyeon rolls her eyes, but she lets out a low chuckle.

“Wait– why are we fighting right now? If __ wants to cancel her date with Mingyu to come with us for barbecue night, then let her be.” Jungkook says.

In the corner, Taehyung crosses his arms and sends a certain look Jungkook’s way.

“Don’t get too excited, Jungkook.”

Jungkook and you pretty much have the same exact reaction at that.

“What the hell does that mean?”

You feel a slight pinch to your arm.

“Aw!” You slap Jungkook’s bicep for what he did. “What the hell!”

“I said it first.”

“You’re a child.” You roll your eyes.

Taehyung raises his hand. “I think you’re both twelve-year-olds trapped in thirty-year-old surgeons’ bodies.”

“Twelve’s too generous, I think they’re mentally still in first grade.” Doyeon comments.

You don’t get to rebut as you see a glimpse of the resident chief coming your way. It seems that the rest noticed the same thing, and suddenly, you’re all scrambling from your comfortable positions on the ER beds and going your separate ways to the hallways.

You went to your go-to-barbecue restaurant as soon as your shift ended for the day.

The eating becomes a drinking session until everybody tapped out but you and Jungkook. More like, you, because Jungkook wasn’t drinking at all. Doyeon was the first one to call herself an Uber, and then Nayeon and Taehyung had to leave because they have an early shift the next day.

“Don’t you have a shift tomorrow?” You ask Jungkook, downing another shot glass of soju. Your alcohol tolerance is not that high nor is it that low, but after two bottles – you admit you’re starting to feel a little dazed.

“Yeah. Afternoon.” Jungkook responds. When he sees you pouring yourself another glass again, he takes the shot and downs it himself.

“Rude!” You pout at him.

“You’re all red and shit, it’s time to tap out.” Jungkook chuckles when you show him an even deeper frown. “Come on, it’s nearing twelve.”

“I’m so tired.” You whine, not even bothering to take your glass back from him, just letting your shoulder deflate and bowing your head down, your eyes becoming droopier by the second.

After four years of residency, you feel like you have started to operate on autopilot somehow. Wake up at fuck-ass o’clock at dawn to prep for work and finish a varying number of hours of shift for the week. You admittedly barely get time to partake in leisure activities – and it’s not new per say. It’s just like in med school except you’re actually doing the real thing now and instead of grades, real lives are involved and at stake – which puts an even bigger weight on your shoulders.

It’s why you’re thankful to Mingyu; for his presence… for starting to invite you to his place rather than eat out. Don’t get it twisted– you love the bougie dinners and all that, but his penthouse is definitely way more comfortable.

But lately you’ve forgotten about what it is like to hang out with your friends outside of the five-minute breaks in the hospital – and times like these you love letting yourself loose and relax because, hey, you deserve it a little!

“Should I buy you soup to drink in the car?” You can hear Jungkook ask. You don’t answer. “Yeah, I should buy you soup.” He tells himself.

And then you see him going to the counter only to come back after a few minutes with a paperbag in his hand.

“You’re drunk.” He announces.

You snicker. “I’m not.”

“You sure are.” Jungkook shakes his head as he takes you by your waist to help you stand up.

“Just feeling a little dizzy, ‘s all.” You mumble when you fall against his neck upon straightening your legs.

“You’re not just a little dizzy, silly.” Jungkook whispers against your head.

You hum as a response and you can feel the vibration on his chest as he laughs at you. He doesn’t say another word as he guides your steps outside of the restaurant, and before you know it, you’re situated in the passenger seat of his car, with him wearing your seatbelt around you.

“Thanks.” You give him a lopsided smile, shifting around in the space to get more comfortable.

“Welcome, your highness.” You giggle at his response. “Drink up, it’s gonna help you sober up.” He says, handing you the paper bowl of soup he bought from the restaurant a few minutes ago.

You groan, taking it from him and slowly sip from the cup. Jungkook tells you to get his water flask from his backpack on the back seat when you finish your soup.

The soup and water relieve you from the acid reflux you feel in your stomach. Only slightly. Because when you close your eyes and lean back on the seat more comfortably, that’s when you feel something in your throat.

“Jungkook,” You call him.

“Hm?”

“I think I want to puke.”

Jungkook immediately turns to look at you. “For real?”

You bite your bottom lip, nodding your head repeatedly.

“Okay, shit– wait,” Jungkook looks around for something. Probably a plastic bag or whatever. But when he finishes scoping the area around the interior of his car, he seems to find nothing. When he glances at the rearview mirror, he takes a reverse and suddenly, he turns off the ignition of his car. “I’ll park here for a while. Let’s go outside.”

He gets out of the car first before opening your door. You think you’re fine to walk on your own, but you don’t oppose to Jungkook wrapping his arm around your waist and leading you to a…

Playground. The swings, in particular.

“Sit here for a bit.” He instructs, holding the chains steady for you as he waits until you’re sitting on it. He runs towards the car, and you feel way too weird in the throat to ask him why.

You recognize the place that’s not exactly far away from your complex. Maybe a ten-minute drive away.

Jungkook comes back with a crumpled plastic bag. It’s from a familiar provision shop. Probably was in his compartment glove the whole time.

“Here,” he hands you the plastic. “I’ll help you.”

You get it from him and shake your head.

“No, it’s fine.”

“I don’t mind.”

You look at him straight in the eye. “You’re not gonna help me puke, Jungkook.”

Jungkook stares at you for a while and then sighs. He holds the chains of your swing again, standing beside you, putting his hand in his pockets.

“Okay. Puke your heart out.”

You snort. You open the plastic bag and get a feel of that weird invasive push in your throat – until you realize Jungkook is watching you.

Looking up at him, you whine, “Jungkook. Don’t watch.”

Jungkook furrows his brows. “I’m not watching.”

“It’s gross.” You say, a bit embarrassed. The whole thing’s embarrassing, to be honest. Jungkook taking care of you because you got stupid drunk. It’s not the first time, and there were definitely a lot more occurrences worse than this – you’re just grateful he hasn’t kicked you out of a curb. Yet.

“Watching somebody puke?” He scoffs as he says your name. “We literally amputated a leg today, and FYI, I’m just scared you’re gonna have some serious complication while puking.”

You frown because– okay. Fair. He has valid points.

“Okay. Well. I’m not gonna die puking. So, turn around or stand back there at the slides far from me.”

“Seriously?” Jungkook asks, disbelief painting his voice.

You just nod. Thankfully, he doesn’t say any more and obediently walks about five steps away from you, acquiescing to your request.

It takes you a few minutes to settle yourself before you let out the accumulation of what you’ve digested for the day. Your throat feels crass when you’re done, and your stomach feels empty. When you look ahead, your head still feels like it’s floating. But at least you feel a little better now.

“Drink this,” Jungkook approaches you again and gives you his tumbler once again. You drink from it quickly and quietly. “Feel okay now?”

You hum, nodding and smiling up at him.

“Thanks, Kook.”

He only mirrors your smile and goes to sit on the swing beside you. “You wanna go home now?”

You nibble on your bottom lip, contemplating his question. As you look around, you notice it’s so... solemn. It’s midnight, after all. There’s a sort of eerie calmness with the cricket sounds but the wind is nice and the dark skies project twinkling lights.

“It’s so nice here,” You say instead.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Jungkook chuckles and you follow.

You look at him and sincerely, you ask, “Just for a few minutes, please?”

Jungkook’s quick to say, “Okay.”

His voice is just as gentle as the night breeze.

“Thank you.”

“It’s nothing. You’re sobering up?”

“Eh. I’m getting there.”

“Good.”

You look at him again. “Thank you.”

Jungkook sends you a confused look, but there’s a smile on his face.

“I heard that.”

You chuckle. “And I’m saying it again. Thank you.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Alright. You’re welcome. Times two. And you’re not allowed to say it again.”

You both laugh at the exchange. The silence that follows after that is comfortable.

“You know, you still remember Changsub? My first boyfriend?” Jungkook nods at your words. “He asked me to be his girlfriend at a playground. Some old one in our hometown.” You pause for a while, recalling that memory. You laugh because it was just… so long ago. But the pictures are still so vivid in your head.

“Sweet. Too bad he’s an asshole, huh?” Jungkook comments, having known most of your relationship history.

“Yeah,” You shrug, laughing still. “But I, uhm, I remember a day after that– I had, like, this whole scenario in my head. I pictured a few years down the line, he’s on his knees and he’s showing me a ring asking me to be his wife on the very same playground. I thought it would be really sweet if he proposed to me at the same place.”

“Wow.” Jungkook muses, and you chuckle at the reaction.

“I know. It was crazy. I mean, why the hell was I thinking about getting married at that time? I was literally only sixteen and I think I had an AP assignment due the day after that. I was just so in my head.” You say, looking at Jungkook who has a smile of amusement on his face.

And then your laughter fades.

“I was so naive that time. But then I was also naive at twenty. And Jungkook…” You bite your bottom lip, feeling it quiver when you look into his eyes this time. “I’m afraid that I’m still naive at thirty.”

Jungkook calls your name softly, noticing the drop on your tone and the shift from playful to… melancholic.

You close your eyes and draw a deep breath.

“I like Mingyu. I really like him a lot,” And the declaration feels weird verbally announced. You’ve thought it for the past few weeks you’ve been with him – but you’ve both never said it to each other. Not yet. But saying it out loud now – it feels different. It feels real. And you’re so scared. “And we enjoy each other’s company a lot that I feel like he likes me just as much as I like him. You know, we kissed on the first date. I don’t usually kiss on the first date. But I like him so much that I did.”

You look at Jungkook sadly. You gauge the look on his face, but he just sits there with an unreadable expression on his face, though he listens. He always does. You’re not particularly looking for any response, anyway. And he just seems to know so well that right now, you just want to vent.

“It’s so embarrassing to say but I feel like he’s it, Kook.” You swallow the lump in your throat. “And I feel like… like the last time I felt this way about someone was with Eunwoo. And that was four years ago—” You let your head fall slightly. “And I’m so scared.” You don’t intend the crack in your voice when you say it.

“Hey,” Jungkook calls you again, turning his body towards you, reaching out to hold your arm.

“What if I’m wrong? Again?” You tell him.

It takes Jungkook a few seconds to answer.

“I think, __, that you’re a person with a big heart,” You scoff with a smile on your face at that. You get that a lot. But Jungkook insists, “I think you have so much love to give, you know? And I think… Mingyu’s a lucky guy if he gets to receive it.”

That makes your lips curl. Touched.

“You think so?”

Jungkook only nods.

“Why can’t you be nice to me like this all the time?” You crack a joke.

“I’m always nice to you,” Jungkook says in disbelief, obviously finding your words absurd. You only laugh but now Jungkook turns serious, and you fear you might have induced a genuine worry in him. “Am I not always nice to you?”

“You always tease me and shit in front of our friends but so incredibly sweet when we’re all alone.”

Jungkook stutters when he says, “Well… that’s my love language. Teasing you.”

You squint your eyes at him. “Awe, you love me?”

“Okay, fuck off.”

You burst into laughter when Jungkook rolls his eyes at you.

“Hey, swing me.”

You tell Jungkook, situating yourself more comfortably on the wooden platform attached to the chains.

“A dollar per minute.” He says, standing up from his own seat and placing himself behind you.

“I thought you hate capitalism? What is this?”

“This is forced labor.” Jungkook says with a groan that you think is a feigned exasperation, since you begin to feel movement right after it.

“You broke my hairdryer the other day. Consider this your compensation.” You look up at him to give him a smarmy smile.

Fom where you’re seated, you realize just how… big his presence is. It’s not the looming, ominous type, though – it’s quite the opposite. When Jungkook surrounds you, you find a bit of comfort in it – a huge one if you want to be honest to yourself.

“And I already bought you a new one. We’re even.” Jungkook squints his eyes at you.

You laugh.

“You’re gonna borrow and break it again.”

He visibly winces. “Touché.”

Jungkook swings you while you talk about your day, just like usual. He asks you about your laparoscopy that kept you from having lunch with the rest of your friends at the hospital earlier that day, about your new scrub cap, and you gossip a little about the new lab tech having a crush on the scrub nurse you both know.

For all his complaints earlier, Jungkook seemingly doesn’t seem to mind having swung you for the past ten minutes now. He’s relaxed and gentle with his movements, and his voice is quaint and soft as he talks to you.

But then you start to feel bad for him so you tell him to stop, standing up from the swing.

“Okay, your turn.”

Jungkook gives you a big grin.

“Nice.”

You chuckle at his enthusiasm when he sits on the swing chair this time around. But when you attempt a push, he barely moves, prompting him to laugh.

“What weak ass push was that?” He says incredulously, looking at you.

You jut your bottom lip out. “You’re heavy and I’m drunk.”

The second time you push him is more forceful but then Jungkook voices out a complaint after the third, fourth, and every single time you do it. You roll your eyes at his tantrums, but then suddenly, you think of a much better idea.

You push him off the swing with all your remaining strength even though your body feels like jelly from all the alcohol you consumed an hour ago.

“What the fuck, __?”

You burst out in boisterous laughter at Jungkook’s state, his hands and knees planted on the ground. He then sits on it, clapping his palms together to get rid of some dust that gathered on his skin.

Without thinking too much about it, you make quick steps over to his direction and situate yourself beside him.

Jungkook looks at you, confused, but you only give him a grin.

“Let’s lie on the ground.”

“What? No!” Jungkook immediately opposes it. As you expected.

You scrunch your face. “Oh! Look at me! I’m Jeon Jungkook and I’m a germaphobe and I’m afraid of dirt!” You say, intentionally making your voice a pitch higher.

Jungkook deadpans. “Pathogens can kill your cells’ metabolic machinery, so, yeah? I’m afraid of dirt.”

You roll your eyes at him and while he goes off about how they can also cause a toxic massive immune reaction, you push his chest forcefully which catches him off guard, prompting him to lay on the ground. Before he can say anything, you take his arm out to spread beside you and you use it to rest your head on.

Jungkook stops his rambling after that.

“See, shut up.” You say, backhanding him slightly on the chest. You fix your gaze at the skies.

“The sky is beautiful tonight. Worry about your pathogens next time.”

Jungkook chuckles, and you feel the vibration of his body as he does so, being so close to him.

As you peer up to look at him, you see him folding his other arm to lie his head on it.

You smile, going back to looking at the sky.

“This is like in The Notebook.” Jungkook says after a beat of silence.

“Right?” You grin. “And with the pathogens, too.” You tease.

Jungkook laughs, pinching your arm in his reach. “God, shut up about your pathogens.”

You chuckle at the irony.

“That’s me,” you point upwards, referring to a big twinkling light in the sky. Then, you move your finger towards the star beside it. “And then that’s you, ‘cause I’m a bigger star than you.”

You feel Jungkook look at you from his position. “You are so drunk.”

That causes you to giggle, clutching your stomach because you can’t stop laughing at pretty much everything tonight.

“I feel like I'm not anymore. My head just feels like it’s floating but no, definitely not drunk.”

“Whatever you say.” Jungkook says, chest vibrating from laughing at you.

“Hm. Race you to sleep, Jungkook.” You snuggle on his armpit. As you do, you smell a waft of your water lily springs body wash from Bath and Body Works. “Can you stop using my body wash?”

“What?” You can hear Jungkook say, but as he calls your name and more, his voice starts fading. “__? Hey, don’t sleep on me.”

You hum, eyes still closed.

“__, hey!” Jungkook grazes your arms. You can feel your head moving as Jungkook starts to sit, guiding your back to sit upright. He calls you again, gently tapping your cheek to wake you up.

The truth is, you’re really sleepy, but not so much that you can’t hear him anymore or move on your own.

Jungkook gives up trying to wake you up, though, convinced by your acting. Soon, he goes over in front of you, reaching for your arms and placing them around his neck.

“Just put your legs around me, yeah?” He whispers against your hair once you’re glued against his back.

You hum, intending it to sound like a mumble so Jungkook thinks you don’t actually understand.

Jungkook fixes your legs around him, standing up, bouncing a little to get you nice and snug in his back. You smile at the prospect of a piggyback ride.

“I know you’re awake, silly,” He says suddenly, his voice painted with amusement.

You stifle your laughter against his neck, breaking your supposed to be convincing act.

“Race you to the car, Kook.” you whisper into his ear.

Jungkook scoffs, but he doesn’t say anything more until you reach his car. He wears your seatbelt for you, though, and tells you to drink more water from his tumbler.

You fall asleep easily mid-drive.

In the morning, you wake up with a banging headache, your eyes catching the sight of a post-it note on your desk with one tab of Advil.

morning/afternoon stinky i made porridge before i left for my shift just heat it up again when you wake up ps: your medical bill from my personal care will be discussed later when i get back home. no friends discount allowed — your angelic friend, kookie

You chuckle at the (annoyingly elaborate) sketch of an angry bunny on the side.

“Mingyu,” you call his attention. Mingyu turns to look at you. “This is a really nice place.”

He smiles at your remark. Mingyu moves his hand from your waist to your lower back as he leads you to the entrance door.

“I’m glad you think so. I’ve been wanting to bring you here for a while.”

When you both reach the door, Mingyu introduces himself to the butler. You let the two of them talk for a while, him confirming his reservation, your eyes roaming around the restaurant and taking in the classy interior.

“Please follow me, Mr. Kim and Ms. __,”

The butler gestures inside and you both follow behind him.

It’s another one of your date nights. While it isn’t unusual for you both to get fancy with dinners, you’ve gotten used to the casual dinners you’ve been having at his own place with take-outs and his impressive cooking.

But tonight is a little different. There’s a certain something in the air – especially when Mingyu especially asked you to dress a little more formally. He always has a suit on naturally with his line of work, but tonight he’s wearing a particularly shiny one. The tie is something you’ve never seen before, but maybe you just like to think that. You on the other hand settled for an indigo satin dress that hugs your figure like a glove and shows just enough skin. You’ve always thought you looked good in it.

And you think it’s perfect for when Mingyu asks something that will change the trajectory of your relationship for good.

Today marks the third month since you started seeing each other. You don’t know if he’s aware of it – but it’s been, indeed, whole three months. An monthsary some sort? Granted, there’s no official label to it, at least not yet. But with the fancy set-up and the way he cryptically replied to when you asked him what the whole thing was for tonight, you think he does know. And this is his idea of surprise.

Of course, you don’t let yourself get obsessed with the idea lest you end up with only mere assumptions.

“Thank you.” You both say to the butler as he leads you both to your table. He gives you the menu book and you take your sweet time to choose from the selection, giving the butler your orders after a few minutes.

When he leaves, Mingyu looks at you wearing his usual charming smile.

You don’t think you’ll ever tire of his face.

“This is really fancy,” You tell him, smiling.

“It’s sort of like special place,” Mingyu chuckles. “You know, Mr. Yang– the senior partner over at work– officially announced me as partner here.” He tells you, eyes looking into yours.

You feel your heart do a somersault at his gaze and the possibility of his words.

“Good steak?” You say, trying to act oblivious to the weight of his confession. You also don’t want to assume he’s saying what you think he’s saying…

“Yeah, yeah,” He nods his head, chuckling, then his laughter fades as he begins to look more serious when he continues, “So… it’s been three months since we started seeing each other.”

Your heart skips a bit when you listen to his words. You didn’t think what you were thinking earlier was true, but now that he’s brought it up, you deduce you might not be too far away.

“__,” Mingyu calls. You hum, leaning in closer to let him know you’re listening attentively. He gives you a coy smile, then his hand on the table moves over towards yours. You don’t fight your big smile off when he places it on top of yours, especially when you feel the warmth it radiates and how it looks like it could just easily enclose your own. “You said you wanted to take things slow, and I respect that. I just want you to know that this is – this thing between us – it’s serious for me.”

“I’m serious about us two.” You say immediately.

Mingyu chuckles, simpering when he looks at you again. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“So?” You ask, waiting.

“I want to be your boyfriend. If you let me.” Mingyu says, clear and firm. “It’s just… I’m happy with our dates. And I just love hanging out with you. But I think I’ll be even happier if we go out together as boyfriend and girlfriend – officially – from now on.”

You nibble on your bottom lip; couldn’t contain the big smile you’ve been fighting against since earlier.

You’ve been expecting the question ever since you got here, but you’re quite surprised for your assumptions to be right.

“Okay.” You say coolly.

Mingyu furrows his brow. “Okay– as in…?”

“Okay, as in, I wanna be your girlfriend.”

His lips part. “Are you… for real?” You nod your head repeatedly, stifling a giggle as Mingyu begins to smile so widely. “Fuck.”

“Hey,” you lightheartedly scold.

Mingyu nods his head, still smiling. “I’m sorry, I’m just—” he cuts himself off with a chuckle. “You’re my girlfriend now.”

“Yeah.” You chuckle.

“I wish I can kiss you right now.”

You feel your cheeks heat up as you look around. There are too many people. But the hopeless romantic in you tells you it’s okay.

“Why won’t you?” You challenge him, and Mingyu arches a brow at that.

He looks like he’s giving in, but then he shakes his head. With a smile that borders on flirtatious, he leans closer to you and whispers, “Later.”

Mingyu’s sweet promise at the restaurant ends up with you straddling his lap on the driver’s seat, your dress riding over your thighs and the thin straps falling off your shoulder.

"Fuck," Mingyu breathes in your ear, hands full of your ass while you continue to grind against the bulging crotch of his slacks.

You're not any better, panting on the crook of his neck as he encourages you to move on top of him. You feel the wet kisses he bestows across the column of your neck, moaning at the delicious friction from one particular thrust of his hips.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, in your defense. Your dinner ended on a really good note and Mingyu was just supposed to lean in for one sweet kiss once you were situated in his car.

But then you swiped your tongue over his lips and Mingyu threw away his gentlemanly act for the night, granting you back with a kiss that had more fervor in it. Forceful in a way that says he wants you.

And the feeling’s more than mutual.

His coat’s long gone now, stashed away on his back seat, and you’ve already undone the top three buttons of his dress shirt. Mingyu squeezes your boob over the thin material of your dress, prompting you to let out a low moan.

“Why—” Mingyu cuts himself off to kiss your lips one more time.

“Why don’t we go to your place?”

You don’t register his words the first time, too drunk from the sensation of his touch over your body.

“Yeah?” You mindlessly say, eyes shut as Mingyu peppers kisses to your jaw down to your neck once again.

“You’ve never invited me to your place.”

At that, your eyes open and you still on top of him.

“What?”

Mingyu looks up, and you’re about to be distracted by his messy hair and his swollen lips but then he says, “We’ve never gone to your place before.”

“Oh.”

He’s quick to gauge your reaction. Cupping your jaw, he plants a kiss to the side of your lips. “I’m not insisting if you don’t want to.”

“N-no, I want to,” is your immediate response. “It’s just…” you trail off, thinking about how to approach the subject.

Mingyu hums, waiting for your next words, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. It helps you regulate your nervousness at the sudden mention of your place.

“I have a roommate.”

There you let it out.

Somehow in the past three months you’ve been dating, you never mentioned that you’re living with Jungkook. The subject just never came up – until now, that is – and you didn’t really feel the need to tell him when he never asked in the first place.

But deep inside, you’re a bit hesitant to tell him about it. Sure, Jungkook’s his friend, and Mingyu did say they were close and knew each other well, so it shouldn’t be a problem for him that you’re residing with his close friend – but that’s exactly what makes the whole thing weird. It’s one thing as a woman to live with a man in one place, and it’s another if that man is a friend of your – well, now boyfriend.

And you know to yourself that you and Jungkook are purely platonic so there should be absolutely nothing to be worried about. It’s not even that you don’t trust Mingyu to understand – it’s just that it’s not as easy to tell him straight up. Not when you’re just starting a relationship right now with an official label to it – not when you’re finally in a serious relationship after four whole years of looking and waiting.

You don’t want to ruin it. Not right now.

“Oh, okay.” Mingyu nods at your confession, understanding. “Is it why…?”

You nod your head, already getting what he means. Licking your lips, you look anywhere but his eyes. Instead, you focus your gaze on the exposed upper part of his chest and let your fingers toy with his collar. Mingyu lets you.

“But… roommate’s away for the night.” You tell him. And it’s true. Jungkook told you he has a date tonight and that usually means he won’t be going home.

And you want Mingyu so bad it’s not even funny anymore.

That puts a smile on your boyfriend’s face.

“She is, huh?”

Your heart skips a bit, and you give him a smile you hope he doesn’t recognize as fake.

Somehow, you don’t bother to correct him even though Jungkook – your very roommate – is most definitely not a she.

“And here goes my bedroom,” You say as you open your door, letting Mingyu in. You’re not really worried about its state because thank god you cleaned up before leaving for your date tonight. Jungkook’s the cleaner one though, and that’s an advantage because he’s kind of obsessed with cleaning the whole apartment and not just his room when he has the time. It’s exactly why Mingyu pays you a compliment on the neatness of the place.

“Cute,” he muses, looking at the Sanrio plushies on your nightstand.

“Yeah.” You nod, feeling a little shy. Mingyu’s place is the definition of bachelor – his bedroom’s literally out of an Architectural Digest page. And while you’re proud of your Sanrio plushie collection – they’re your childhood gifts and you’ve collected them until college and they were expensive as hell – you can’t help but think that maybe you’re coming off as childish right now. You wish you could’ve hidden them or something…

You hope Mingyu doesn’t think too much about it.

“I like the room,” Mingyu says, looking at you who’s sitting on the edge of your bed. “It feels very… you.”

“Really?” You chuckle. “I mean, I’d hope so. I’ve been here for two years.”

Mingyu chuckles, following you to the bed. You feel the mattress sinking in when he sits beside you.

“I wanted to give you something at the restaurant earlier, but I kinda chickened out,” He says.

You arch your brow. “What is it?”

You watch as Mingyu takes something out of his pocket, your heart skipping a few beats when it turns out to be a jewelry box. Mingyu looks at you and smiles, hands slowly opening the velvet box, and your lips part when it reveals a dainty silver necklace with a small drop diamond pendant.

“Wow.” You utter, eyes blinking repeatedly, not knowing how to react.

“Well…?” Mingyu says, gauging your reaction.

“You’re giving that to me?” You ask in pure disbelief. He only nods. “That’s really– it’s really pretty.”

“I thought about you when I picked it up. It made sense.” He says smoothly, and you giggle at his words.

God, you like him so much.

“I honestly don’t know what to say,” You chuckle, cupping your face with your hands as if it could make the blood go away from your cheeks. “Thank you.”

“I’d love to wear it on you.” Mingyu smiles.

“Of course.”

He takes out the necklace from the box and asks you to turn around for a bit. You do so, helping him put your hair over one shoulder. You can feel him scooting closer to your back, his breathing on your nape, and the way he slowly caresses your shoulder first before his arms go around your neck to lock the necklace around your nape.

The cold of the material hits your skin, just on time when you feel Mingyu planting a kiss on your clavicle.

“It’s really pretty.” You say in awe, touching the pendant.

“Hm,” Mingyu continues to pepper your skin with small kisses. “You’re beautiful.” You turn to look at him, smiling. He mirrors that and cups your jaw to give you a peck on the lips. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

You giggle when he squeezes your waist.

“Thank you.” you say in between your laughter. You hold his arms and stand up from the bed to place yourself in front of him. Mingyu looks up at you with one brow raised, but he’s quick to manspread when you begin to straddle his lap. As you situate yourself on top of him, you wrap your arms around his neck and let him run his hands across your body when you do so. “I really appreciate the necklace.”

“Yeah?” Mingyu whispers against your lips.

You hum, trailing your fingers down his collar then start to unbutton his shirt. When you get the few undone, you look Mingyu into his eyes and he meets your lips that crash into his in a few seconds.

You suppose it’s not exactly surprising that the kiss turns heated way too quickly. After all, you were both humping each other in his car earlier.

Sighing into the kiss, you tug at his hair, and it prompts his hands to squeeze your ass a little too tight. Mingyu breaks the kiss and there’s a barely noticeable string of saliva when your lips move away from each other. He trails kisses from your jaw down to the base of your neck, taking the straps of your dress down, hands beginning to rub your bare arms.

“So beautiful,” Mingyu sighs, lips travelling back to your own. He prods his tongue in your mouth that you gladly open for him. You let out a moan from the sensation of his tongue against yours, clutching his shoulders so hard you're sure you're gonna imprint your nails on his skin despite the shirt he still has on.

"Mingyu," you whisper, mouth ajar and gaping uselessly against his hair as his mouth leaves yours eventually to go down to your cleavage. His wandering fingers go around your back to fumble with the ribbons that are holding the dress, and you’re quick to help him tug it down completely until your chest is out for his full viewing.

Mingyu hisses at the lack of bra – except the nipple tapes – when the top of the dress comes off. He stops and stares, then takes a long and deep breath, as if the sight of your breasts intoxicated him; sighing as if he's long wished to see you like this.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you're so hot." He cups the swell of your chest in his two large palms, fondling them as you continue rolling your pelvis against his straining crotch area. He grazes the silicon material covering your nipples, looks up at you as if to ask.

“Y-yeah,” you sigh out, knowing what he meant with the look.

Taking them off gently, Mingyu earns a moan from you, the sound getting a bit louder when he puts one of the two peaks in his mouth, and the sight is nothing short of erotic.

It elicits a sharp breath from you, hands flying to his soft and brunette locks. You almost feel bad thinking that you've been grabbing at them since earlier.

But you have more important things to mind than attending to Mingyu’s silky and healthy hair.

You seek for his lips which he gives you almost automatically when he notices you asking for it, the two of you meeting in a hungry kiss, your nails on one hand clawing at his back as you cup his jaw in the other. But his hands don't leave your breasts, palming them roughly but just right; squeezing so hard all the while tugging at your nipples.

For a moment, you take a halt, catching your breath and look at him with your hooded eyes. You kiss the corner of his mouth. "Take your shirt off."

He does as you say so, and you help him unbutton the entirety of his dress shirt to get the thing off him faster. Mingyu lets go of your boobs but quickly holds them as soon as his shirt is off. This time he flicks at both your nipples, and you can’t help but bite at his neck. The pleasure’s too much and you can feel yourself dripping down your thong, the sticky feeling of it making you squirm on his lap.

As if Mingyu has read your mind, he grips your waist and sets you down on the bed. He hovers over you, fingers idly exploring under the skirt of your dress until he finds the band of your panties.

You groan when you feel the cold brush of air on your bare thighs, suddenly feeling impatient. "Mingyu,"

“You want me to eat you out?” He whispers, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

You almost cry at his question.

“Yes,”

Mingyu drags his fingers on your clothed core, groaning when he feels how soiled your thong is. "You're so fucking wet, sweetheart. Look at you," he sighs, hands leaving your pussy as he leans back and palms the strain of his pants. Your toes curl at the sight, uneven breaths puffing from your lips. "Look so sweet under me."  

And you're also a mess under him, writhing and completely getting lightheaded from his actions.

You let out a mewl when he pushes up the skirt of your dress to your hips, dragging down your underwear to your thighs.

Lifting your butt off the mattress, you help him get it off of you completely and you don't miss the way the flimsy thong sticks to your pussy before he takes it off you entirely. Mingyu seems to notice as well, judging from the way he hissed under his breath.

Your pussy is slick and sloppy, wet and dripping for him.

"So fucking pretty for me, god, I can’t believe I get to have you like this," he whispers against your throbbing heat, leaving a small kiss on your clit.

You arch your back when he uses his finger to run it through your slit, adding another one to spread your walls. Mingyu groans at the juices that stick to his digits.

As he adjusts himself on the mattress, hands gripping the back of your knees, you push them up until you're bended in almost half. You hold up your own legs, getting whiplashed when he licks a long, firm and deep stripe over you, making your eyes roll from the back of your head, breath hitching as you keep yourself steady in your own hold.

"Oh my god – Mingyu!–"

He starts slow, kissing around your labia, the tip of his tongue teasing your clit. Your head falls from the mountain of pillows under you, suddenly feeling frustrated.

"S-stop teasing me. Please, Mingyu,"

Ending your misery, he spreads your thighs, puckers his lips and dusts a few pecks over your bare heat and dives in for it seconds later with too much fervor. He savors every drop that oozes out from your hole, licking and lapping until you feel his tongue inside you. Mingyu could be spelling out his name for all it matters, but you really couldn't give a fuck.

"Oh, fuuuuck–" you groan, trying so hard to keep yourself steady. "S-so good,"

He hums in your pussy, and you don't help the way one of your legs drop to the mattress, the other one hooking on his shoulder. It makes you grab for his hair, pushing his head down and thrashing underneath his face.

It felt like minutes passed and you're almost crying by how good it all feels, his tongue doing wonders in the walls of your heat.

Soon, tears start to well in your eyes because of the pleasure, drawn out moans and heavy breaths filling the room. You couldn’t care less about the volume. Right now, you just want to cum.

"Your fingers, Mingyu,” You sigh out, and before you could even prepare yourself, he's inserting his middle finger inside you, pushing it in until it's knuckle-deep. "Oh god!"

“Yeah?”

He starts at an average pace until he adds another finger in your entrance, this time picking up his speed – and it makes you drip everywhere.

When he settles on scissoring his fingers inside you, moving at an abnormal pace that have you gasping under him, your body shake and your toes curl on the sheets. Mingyu swoops down to kiss your pussy again, two digits being repeatedly swallowed by your warm hole, slurping every juice that comes out of it. As he feels you tremble, the precedence of you nearing your climax, he takes his thumb to your clit.

"Oh, fuck, fuck," your pant, "I'm coming–fuck–“

Mingyu removes his fingers from you, exchanging them with his tongue instead and you cry out while he continues to rub your clit vigorously.

And when you arch your back higher this time, you spasm around his fingers, moaning uncontrollably.

“That’s it, sweetheart, that’s it,” Mingyu whispers, pecking your heat a few more times to calm you down from your high. After a few moments, he removes your thigh from his shoulder, quickly coming up to kiss you on the mouth.

You taste yourself on his tongue but you couldn’t pay much attention to it when you feel his dick against your thigh. Closing your eyes, you let exhaustion wash over you.

Mingyu lets you stay still, and when you open your eyes again, you see him staring at you with a warm smile dancing across his lips. Your heart skips a beat, could no longer feel it but hear it instead, and you bite your lip, pushing his chest away slightly in an attempt to get on top of him.

“Let me suck your cock.” You say, but Mingyu shakes his head, firm on his place: on top of you.

“Let’s do that next time. Tonight, I have to fuck you well into the next day.”

And he does.

You didn't cum again – you usually don't from penetrative sex – and your first orgasm exhausted you way too much to let yourself go the second time. Mingyu didn't mind, telling you it was fine when you gave him an apology about it.

You wake up panicking at the thought that you’re going to be late for work.

Scrambling to sit on your bed, you take your alarm clock in your hands, letting out a dramatic “Thank god” when you see it read as 5:06am. Your alarm goes off at 5:30 as your weekday shift starts at seven.

Which means it’s still early. And you’re not going to be late for work like you feared.

You remember last night’s events though, and your eyes quickly go over to the other side of your bed.

Mingyu’s not in it – but it feels warm. An indication of the fact that he stayed the night over after what you did. You also deduced that he must’ve only gotten out a few minutes before you woke up.

Thinking he’s outside your room, you begin to stand up – groaning the way your thighs ache a bit as you do so. You’re only dressed in your panties and camisole, and you thought about going out in them – but then it made you feel a little weird. Okay, sure, Mingyu’s already seen everything there is to see – you had sex last night – but being naked in a non-sexual fashion in front of someone is kind of a little different, so you opt on putting on a pair of short shorts.

As you head towards your door, fingers ready to twist the knob, you’re surprised to see Mingyu meeting you halfway.

“Hey—”

“Why the hell is Jungkook here?”

Your smile drops and you look at him in confusion.

Mingyu wears an expression you’ve never seen him in before. He’s pissed. Eyebrows furrowed, gaze not soft like it usually is when it comes to you, and above all… his tone borders on accusatory.

“Why is he in the living room saying he’s your roommate?” Mingyu asks once again when you don’t say anything.

“I—” but you’re rendered speechless, frozen in your position. Your mouth moves but nothing comes out. Your brain is a jumble of thoughts and all you can think about is Mingyu seemingly getting mad at you.

“__?” A voice that’s absolutely familiar speaks up. You hear Jungkook’s steps getting closer to your door when he finally shows himself to you. “What’s Mingyu doing here? And why doesn’t he know we live together?”

Mingyu forces himself inside your bedroom and bumps into you a bit as he faces you with a venomous tone. “I’m going.” He declares, grabbing his shirt from your desk chair and putting on his belt.

“Mingyu, it’s not—”

“Save it, __.” He cuts you off before you can finish your sentence, hastily buttoning up his dress shirt.

Jungkook frowns and butts in. “Mingyu, let her talk. I told you earlier, we’re roommates—”

“Jeon,” You turn to look at him, almost spitting out his name. “Not now.”

You see Jungkook visibly recoiling at that. But you’re too concerned over Mingyu already on his way out the door, ready to leave.

“Mingyu, just hear me out.” You say, looking at him sincerely.

“I don’t wanna hear it. Not right now.” Mingyu tells you with a cold look paired with a cold tone. You deflate, taken aback at how nothing on his face screams like he cares about you. He glances at his watch. “I have to go to work.”

He heads towards your apartment door and you follow him there, hoping to change his mind about hearing you out.

“I know what you’re thinking right now, and it’s not that, Gyu.” You tell him once again, following him outside your unit.

Mingyu stands there for a while. Then, he sighs, putting his thumb over his temple. He heaves out a breath, looking into your eyes as he says, “I just don’t want to talk about it right now, okay? Let’s just… let things cool down for a bit.”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “How do you mean?”

“I’m flying to Chicago this afternoon but I’ll be back in the evening. I’ll call you later after work.” He says, and now his face doesn’t look so devoid of emotions like how it was earlier.

But you worry about his words.

“You’re flying to another state.” You reiterate, just so you know you heard him right.

“It’s just for a few hours, sweetheart,” The petname soothes you a little but then he continues to add, “Look, I’m not sure of how I feel about… Jungkook being your roommate. You didn’t tell me about it– just imagine my surprise when I saw him after I went out of your room. It’s not a nice feeling to get lied to,” He says, and you feel an arrow shooting straight to your heart at that. You blink your eyes, feeling like there are tears forming on the sides. Mingyu seems to notice that as he steps closer to you and rubs your arm. “We’ll talk later, __. Just not now. Give me time to process this.”

You give him a weak smile.

Mingyu cups your cheek, and you lean towards his touch. Rubbing a thumb over your skin, he leans down to kiss your lips.

When he breaks away after a quick moment, he tells you, “Later, hm? I promise.” You nod. Mingyu gives you a smile. “And thank you for last night.”

That erases your worry. Not all, but some of it.

“Thank you too.”

“Alright, I’m going, okay?” Mingyu lets go of your face and you look at him as he turns around after you bid your goodbye.

You watch his retreating back in the hallway from your position, nibbling on your bottom lip trying to process the turn of events – and it’s only five fucking am still.

When you enter your apartment again, you see Jungkook sitting on the couch of your living room. And he looks just as pissed when your gaze falls to him.

“What the hell was that?” He welcomes you with.

“What the hell is this?” You point back at him. “You told me you weren’t coming home.”

“Yeah, but I have work – which we both go to at the same time, by the way. Apparently, you’re bringing boys now to this goddamn place.”

You do a double take at his tone.

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” You say, voicing starting to pick up volume. You feel irritation bubbling up inside you as Jungkook stands up from the couch and turns his back to you, ignoring your question as he heads to the direction of the kitchen.

“I said we’re both gonna be late for work.”

You follow his steps. “No, you said I’m “bringing boys here”, what do you mean by that?” You grab his arm and that’s effective enough to make him turn around and look at you. But he avoids eye contact. “Don’t turn your back to me when I’m talking to you, Jungkook.”

“I’m so sorry then, I’ll make sure to look into your eyes when I say every word that comes out of my mouth from now on.” He sarcastically says, and your annoyance grows.

“Watch your goddamn tone.”

Jungkook scoffs. “You’re the one to talk about watching tones when you literally just told me to shut up in front of your boyfriend?”

Your frown instantly. So you were right to think that moved him a little. But you tell him your confusion, “Where the hell did you get that? I didn’t tell you to shut up.”

“Yeah, you just told me “not now” like I’m a child trying to insert himself in mommy and daddy’s little argument. You might as well just have told me to shut the fuck up.”

The way he phrased your argument with Mingyu “little” rubs you off the wrong way.

“Oh, I am so sorry,” you sarcastically say. “Did getting told to shut up by a woman in front of another man hurt your big macho man ego?” 

“You’re making it about another thing.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, opening the refrigerator and taking out a loaf of bread.

“You think I forgot about your little “bringing boys here” comment?” You point out, but Jungkook decides now is the time to be an asshole and starts acting nonchalant instead, putting jam all over his bread. But you see the tick in his jaw, the tongue prodding against his mouth. He’s just as pissed as you are right now.

“And you sure as hell did. I don’t know what to tell you.”

You seethe. “Fuck you. I don’t bring “boys” here. Mingyu’s my boyfriend,” You say, and to be petty, you add, “As if you’ve never ever brought girls here before?”

Jungkook looks at you instantly. “Don’t you dare pin that on me. That was in the very first week that we lived together, mind you. But you told me how uncomfortable it made you feel and I thought about boundaries since then and never did it again. Why do you think I come over at their place instead of just hanging out here, huh, __? Even when we didn’t verbally agree on not having sex around this place, I thought it would be a goddamn principle. Heck,” He looks somewhere and scoffs, “Mingyu didn’t even know I’m your roommate. What did you tell him?”

You open your mouth to make a rebuttal, but nothing comes.

Because you realize in the middle of his outburst that… he’s right.

The first time that you saw a woman coming out of his own room and Jungkook noticing your discomfort about it, he just stopped doing his… thing in the apartment. It wasn’t a verbal agreement, as per his words, but he’s right. It should have been a principle.

In the past two years you lived with each other – that was the only time he ever did it. It became an unspoken rule: don’t bring your hook-ups here. But you never really had to worry about that unspoken rule because you didn’t do one-night-stands often, and when you did hook up with people over the past two years, it was rare so it was easy to do it in their place.

It has become a norm for you that you don’t see other people here anymore except for your friends when they invite themselves over – but you aren’t aware that Jungkook’s apparently making an active choice to specifically not hook up in here this whole time.

Coupled with the fact that you didn’t tell Mingyu about him being your roommate and him being caught up with your argument earlier – you feel a sense of guilt. A huge one at that.

But the stubborn part in you thinks that Mingyu’s different. He’s not a mere hook-up. He’s your boyfriend now! Couldn’t that be an exemption to the rule that’s unspoken in the first place?

“I…” you trail off, scolding yourself internally for not forming a coherent thought faster than you’d like.

When you don’t follow it up with anything, Jungkook takes his plate with him, turning on his heels away from you.

“See you at work.” He says, but it’s sarcastic and clipped.

Jungkook leaves one piece of bread for you though – just like he always does. And you take that as a sign that he’s not all that mad at you.

… Maybe?

You stand there in the middle of your kitchen island like some stupid stoned individual, going over the things that happened for the past – what – twenty minutes? You don’t even fucking know. Your wall clock in the living room had run out of battery, and your brain is too occupied with messy thoughts scattered all around you can feel a headache coming.

One thing’s for sure, though: you’re in the wrong. With Mingyu and with Jungkook. And you need to make it right somehow.

PART TWO | PART THREE

all right reserved © awrkive, 2024. no reposts, modification, and copying allowed. if you enjoy my work and have the extra means, please consider supporting me on ko-fi <3

[muffinlance]

hellooo very cool person I am just now getting into the atla fandom and I know Nothing other than your fics are very cool and great and I was wondering if you have any recs (or links to posts with recs!!) bc I trust your judgment LOL

I hope this is ok to ask!! also I will add that I am not that picky but I will add that I am very much a longfic enjoyer so🫶🫶

My friend, may I open up to you the broad world of clicking an AO3 user's bookmarks. <3

AKA: literally click any ao3 username, "bookmarks" should appear towards the top of the resulting page. You can then voyage into the additionally wonderful waters of filtering by length, "recommended", fandom, etc.

Also: if the fic you like is in collections, try checking them out, especially if the title appeals to you. Can be a great way to find essentially a fic playlist.

Anyway all hail ao3's designers they done good work

[toooliix]

hey! alright so i may have done a thing

so for the past,,, idk 3 weeks? ive been going on a deep dive into spelling bee mostly to sedate my own curiosity of needing to know everything about what i'm interested in. as it turns out, there is a LOT of content with this musical, so i'm here to talk about my findings! note: i will be keeping this EXCLUSIVE to the original 2005 off broadway cast. as much as i'm a brown university girlie through and through, the original cast is where the content is. OKAY FIRST: youtube findings

a lot of small videos were made usually with logainne and leaf. you'll be quick to learn that they made the most off stage content. i have a public playlist with these videos, along with interviews, the original boot, and a few other things. the cast album isn't in it because that's audio only and i want visuals damnit. (plus its on spotify and easy to look up so.) the exception is 25apcsbmt12doc because its pretty underground and the purpose is to get word out about niche things.

second: myspace pages a lot of the spellers have myspace pages! this is like. a common thing!! only two were archived (leaf and logainne) and are able to be accessed! i'll talk about the others in a bit. they contain new information and i personally find them very interesting!

leaf logainne

HOWEVER: three are currently able to be accessed through modern myspace without needing an account. the format is off, but it's accessable.

barfee 25apcsb account panch third: other

there's two different things here so i'll separate them :]

3.1: r/v club

r/v club is a short film by rebecca feldman (one of the people that worked on spelling bee) that includes logainne! it can be found on her site with other short films. i believe this is the only one with her in it HOWEVER i have not checked therefore i could be wrong. it's set post-spelling bee, i believe. also jesse is in it but not as leaf.

r/v club

3.2: official site

spelling bee had a site!! and official merch!! its just a cool thing i think. it'll be mentioned again in the last section

spelling bee site

fourth and final: lost media (to my knowledge)

okay, spelling bee has.... QUITE a bit of lost media. again, this will be separated into parts.

4.1: C-R-E-P-U-S-C-U-L-E

before spelling bee was a thing, crepuscule (albiet mispronounced) was an improv play made by the farm. (same group who made r/v club) a lot of the characters were similar or the same, and it has a similar premise. however, it wasn't a musical. from what i've heard, there USED to be a boot of it, however i haven't found one of my own. i would love to be corrected.

4.2 myspace pages

remember how i was going to say this was going to come up again? hi thats now. outside of leaf and logainne, other myspace accounts were made! mitch (comfortcounselor), olive (mydictionary) + (oliveostrovsky), chip (chiptolentino), marigold (marigoldconeybear) an olive and barfee joint account (ilovemydictionary), and a leaf and logainne joint account (schwartzylogan). there's also another leaf account with the very confusing name of panchspell the issue with these is that theyre not archived, so you'll need a myspace account with a verified email to view these. in the year of our lord 2024 that's not exactly an easy find, especially since verification emails no longer send. plus, one of olive's accounts is dictionary.com now so,,,, who knows what it looks like there. most also need a connection, which makes things even MORE difficult. i hate how close but out of reach these accounts are.

4.3. spelling bee game

yeah they had a game. it's on the site, and it's eternally stuck at loading characters from my experience. here's the link anyway! game

4.4 the dirty bee

oh jesus its the dirty bee. so for context, in 2006 when the show was running, a few nights were booked for spelling bee that were meant for mature audiences and were 18 plus. it's catered towards people who have already seen the bee and want something new. it was inspired by jay (panch) and putting in words or sentences researsals that were clearly for funnies because he was bored. alas it became a derivative of the musical. all we know is what an article provides (theres more than one but the one linked gives the most info) and that chip quote unquote "finished off" at my unfortunate erection according to jose. there's rumor that chip is canonically bi in it but theres no sources so,,,, can't confirm that one.

article

(the quote is said in the reunion "stars in the house" and is found in the playlist)

conclusion:

there's genuinely so much shit in this musical i find it fascinating. this post WILL be updated with any other finds or information. PLEASE dm me or let me know if i got something wrong or if you have something to add (though do add a source, please and thank you)

ALSO: reblogs are greatly appreciated!! shoutout to the wiki, @/honkmaster69 and the people i spam in dms for helping and tolerating me <33

[barblaz-arts]

Popping in and saying you have GREAT taste, 10 new songs added to the playlist! By the way, I checked out Kiss of Life and listened to some of there other songs, and they are seriously so talented tho?!?! Also- the songs I linked didnt seem to work 😔 so heres just the straight up links to c&p into google or whatever. - https://youtu.be/KGkUye2L-38?si=PDHPNxDXO7P0BY50 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdaM8BoQmPE - I absolutely understand the love for music, it basically consumes my life. I could totally rant about all my favorite songs and groups all day if I could lol (boy do I have a lot). Anyway, thanks for the opinions!! 👋

I didn't realize there were supposed to be links sorry 😅 and oh yeah I love that song too! The Crane Wives always kill it with their lyrics, but this song especially has some great lines. Had to pause the song for a moment the first time i heard the line "I am the sweetest thing to ever scare you". Such a baddie line

Love how it's chill but the lyrics are... Kinda sad. And whoever made the visuals did a stunning job.

I'm glad you liked Kiss of Life! They're really promising so far

[monsterkin-culture-is]

10 Fave Werewolf Songs 🌙

Going to start posting some species songlists on here! Feel free to request in my askbox (anon is enabled) or the notes. Song title link leads to Spotify.

10. Werewolf by Motionless in White. Because a lot of the later songs are a little calmer, I had to add in some rock! This fully encompasses werewolf rage & hunting instincts at their core.

9. I Was A Teenage Werewolf by The Cramps. This is on every werewolf playlist ever but who am I to break tradition? As a teenage werewolf myself, it's still a good song.

8. Wolf by AlicebanD. I'll admit this one is mostly here by name but it's so frantic and high energy and sounds like going utterly insane and I love it.

7. Werewolf Baby! by Rob Zombie. If I could actually transform into a wolfman this is what would be playing as a rampage through the woods. Rob Zombie never misses.

6. Werewolf by Cat Power. A beautiful and atmospheric human x werewolf song about isolation and secrecy.

5. Werewolfe by Scary Bitches. I think you just have to experience this one for yourself.

4. Lavender Moon by Haroula Rose. I'm not sure what lo-fi werewolf music would sound like, but I'm going to say this is the closest thing.

3. The Killing Moon by Echo & the Bunnymen. I have really fond memories of listening to this song waiting to board a ferry to Ireland on my way to visit family. It's also my go-to song for staring longingly at the moon and stars (and one of my maladaptive daydreaming songs).

2. Hunter's Moon by Ghost. It's my favourite ghost song and it has moon in the name! No but on a serious note his voice has the perfect wolfy growl and the lyrics somewhat reference werewolf amnesia. I'm a sucker for songs that tell a story... especially about revenge! I also associate it with one of my blorbos so...

1. Werewolf Heart by Dead Man's Bones. Dead Man's Bones is my favourite band of all time so it had to be #1 on this list. This song and the entire album it comes from is a masterpiece in gothic music. I encourage everyone to check this one out!

Honourable Mention: Give That Wolf A Banana by Subwoolfer. This link leads to Youtube because you simply have to see the performance! How could I ever make a werewolf songlist and leave this beautiful creation out?

Anyway that's all for now! I'm sure I'll make a follow-up, my spotify is riddled with werewolf music. Let me know if you like any of these!

[islandofsages]

darling heart.

summary: in which you are someone who participates in/identifies with jirai kei culture.

characters: heartslabyul boys x gn reader

tags: relationship not specified, fluff, imagines format

warnings: mentions of mental health, mentions of self-destructive tendencies

author's notes: hiiii this is very self-indulgent bc i am a jirai kei babe,, im specifically a jirai danshi <3 i might do for other dorms too, depending on my motivation lol you can find out more by searching up jirai kei tho dont just read the jfashion wiki for it, it's more than just a fashion style. also beware of potentially triggering stuff since it deals with mental health and all

Riddle Rosehearts

He’s intrigued by this subculture that you participate in and he’d ask you more about it, if you don't mind telling him - he’ll do his own research too anyway

When he finds out it's basically a subculture consisting of people with emotion dysregulation issues and is generally controversial, he checks up on you and asks you if you're okay or not

You laugh then – you’ve had your ups and downs but really, so has everyone. You hope reading about it hasn't scared him off

He’d feel like calling you a “landmine type” is too insensitive but you assure him that there's nothing to worry about and that people who participate in the subculture has reclaimed such stereotypes and fully embrace it

He’d really enjoy seeing you decked out in jirai kei fashion; he may want to try it himself but he’d insist that it's not in his place to participate, only support from the sidelines

You do get him to try out clothes that are similar to or inspired by the culture though – he seems to be comfortable in the style and you're happy that something that you enjoy can also bring the same joy to him

You’ll also recommend some songs to him, especially ones that you think would help him in studying despite the sometimes concerning lyrical content

If someone tries to bully you for identifying with the subculture, he’d step in immediately and defend your honor

“What right do you have in deciding what (Y/N) identifies with? That's what I thought. I’m always in the right.”

Through your downs and ups, Riddle will always be there for you.

Ace Trappola

He has heard of it before but he thought it was only a type of fashion, not a whole subculture with more substance to it than clothes

You’d infodump to him all about it and your journey with it, whether you just discovered it or have been identifying with it for a long time – he listens to you curiously all the while

He’s caught off guard for a moment by the more controversial and depressing part of it but he quickly recovers

He’s happy for you and glad that you’re comfortable having such a culture define a part of you

Though he implores not to do all the self-destructive stuff if you could and he’ll look out for you more just in case

He definitely thinks you rock while wearing your jirai kei outfits; it’s not his style but he wouldn’t mind trying it once, just to get a feel for the style

“Yeah, this is definitely not my thing… you, on the other hand, look pretty awesome.”

You’d give him a link for your playlist (or a playlist you’ve saved) and he’d listen to it when he’s bored – ends up adding a few songs to his personal playlist

If he finds anyone stereotyping you unnecessarily, he’ll call them out, saying as if they’re any better

Despite everything, you are still uniquely you in his eyes.

Deuce Spade

He apologizes for not knowing too much about it when you bring it up and you tell him it’s okay because it gives you an excuse to ramble about it

You tell him what it entails and how you’ve come to find out about it, sifting through your past experiences both good and bad

He tries very hard to be understanding, even if he doesn’t really get it. You’re just grateful to have his support

“I don’t really get it but it gives you a sense of community, right? I think that’s pretty cool!”

He’s also a little concerned about the mental illness part so he’d regularly check up on you to make sure you’re doing okay

He’d ask you to tell him more about your experiences with the subculture if you have any more and if anything exciting happens, you go to him first

Such as acquiring a brand new article of jirai kei clothing for example! He thinks the style is super pretty and fits you really, really well

He’d listen to the music together with you, sharing earphones and all – maybe he would even listen to them while he tries to do anything

He’ll be your guard dog and bite back whoever dares to make fun of you for being part of the subculture’s community you’ll have to calm him down sometimes

You couldn’t ask for a better cheerleader than him.

Cater Diamond

He’s always known about the subculture and although he doesn't participate in it, he thinks it's really neat

You tell him more about it and about the misconceptions people have about it so that he doesn't misunderstand

He’s super stoked that he knows someone in real life who actually participates in the subculture since he gets to see how it actually is in reality

He mostly knows about the fashion and when you come rocking up to him wearing the classic jirai kei look, he tries his best not to fanboy

He compliments you then proceeds to ask you where you got it – though cute styles like it aren’t his thing, he feels like he can give this style a try

He’d match with you on days he doesn’t feel too uncomfortable with more cutesy styles and snap pictures of you two to post on Magicam

He’d also go scouring for the music online to add more songs to his already rapidly growing playlist. He’d share some recommendations with you too!

Unintentionally got you more jirai kei friends since some people saw his posts about matching with you on Magicam; even people you already know commented on his post

“Look at us, (Y/N)! We’re totally Magicam-famous now~”

You laugh with him, head thrown back while the seeds of your relationship bloom behind where the two of you sit.

Trey Clover

He doesn’t know too much about it so he’ll ask you to explain to him what it is – to which you excitedly agree to

You tell him everything from the origins to how you’ve come to participate in the subculture – he nods patiently all the while

The mental health part of it has him questioning you a bit but he has no ill intention, he’s simply looking out for you and is worried about you

He’s supportive all the way and thinks it’s nice that you have something you’re passionate about. He’d even do his own research when he has the time

He’s pleasantly surprised when you show up wearing jirai kei fashion one day; he definitely thinks you look striking in the get-up

He wouldn’t mind going with you if you were to shop for more jirai kei-related things – he would joke you’ll have to repay by helping him out another time though

He’ll listen to your song recommendations and if he likes them enough, he’d listen to them while he’s in the kitchen. He likes that they remind him of you

“Oh, this one’s pretty catchy. …These lyrics though…”

Going places with you certainly catches attention sometimes but he doesn’t mind, as long as you’re happy and comfortable in your own skin

His name truly defines him – you sure feel lucky to have him in your life.

[shamelessly-obsessed]

hiya!! i'm a music teacher and music is how i experience fandoms before anything else, and i just have to say, i LOVE the songs that you choose for charles and edwin. Holy Man is truly such a gorgeous song and i can't thank you enough for introducing it to me. also, love your art!!! the colors are always exquisite

😭💖🙏 i seriously don’t even know what to say but THANK YOU SO MUCH this means sm omg

All the love for my song chocies make me so happy I’m so glad y’all enjoy them as much as I do cause it’s such a fulfilling little thing to do

Also honoured to have introduced u to the song and to Jake, his music is so outstanding (eveyone should check out his new song loser especially if u like 80s synth). I have a few of his other songs on my payneland playlist as well as my Niko and Crystal playlist (which I haven’t talked about on here but I’ll link it - it’s not as serious and organized as my payneland one but I still like it)

Anyways that was a very long response lmao but seriously TYSM 💖💖😭🙏

[satansapostle6]

Kids | Rodrick Heffley

Spotify Playlist Link

Rodrick Heffley becomes obsessed when he finally meets his thirty-five year old band mate, Bill Walter’s, younger sister.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Drug use. Sexual content. Violence.

“10 Things I Hate About You”

“The Perks of Being A Disappointment”

Rodrick found that he very much liked holding hands. Especially Sara’s. He felt he looked better than ever that Monday morning, because her hand was in his.

“Ew. Look,” Heather Hills whispered, staring with her friends as they watched Rodrick and Sara coming down the hall. “The emus are dating.”

Sara just chuckled as Rodrick stood tall beside her, completely unaware. But he wouldn’t have had it any other way. His only focus was Sara, and the way her smile was something reserved mostly for him.

“Alright. I guess I gotta get to class,” Rodrick sighed, fully aware that he and Sara were already fifteen minutes late.

“Okay,” she sighed unenthusiastically, smiling as he gave her a quick peck on the lips as he leaned in the doorframe.

“Be good,” he teased.

“You first.”

“Never,” Rodrick promised, chuckling as he just stood there for a moment, admiring what was his.

“Sara, are we joining us for first period?” Mr. Emerson called in annoyance.

“In a minute, you old fart!” Rodrick yelled impatiently, peeved that someone had interrupted his state of bliss.

“Mr. Heffley, do I need to call administration?” the history teacher asked.

“No, Mr. Emerson,” Rodrick said quickly, looking back at Sara as he awkwardly scratched at his shaggy dark hair. “Go to the bathroom in ten minutes,” he mouthed.

Sara just smirked back at him as she entered the classroom, taking her seat by Lauren. Class that day went by faster than she’d anticipated, and before she knew it, Rodrick was walking her out, with his arm lazily thrown around her.

He had deemed it chivalrous to take care in walking Sara to and from all of her classes, conveniently giving him a reason to miss the first and last ten minutes or so of each of his own classes. Sara had just barely sat down in her elective psychology class before receiving a slip of paper from the office on her desk.

Sara squinted in confusion as she read it. Apparently, she had been checked out of school right at the beginning of second period by someone listed as “brother”. She didn’t question why Bill would check her out of school without telling her, so she collected her things and headed to the front office, not sure what to expect.

Sure enough, there was Bill Walter.

“Hey, Sar Bear,” her older brother smiled.

“Hey,” she nodded. “What’s up? Is everything okay?”

“More than okay,” he promised her as they walked out of the school together.

“What’s going on?”

“You’ll see,” he promised her excitedly.

Bill walked Sara down the street to where Rodrick’s van was parked, not saying a word. Sara was confused for a moment as she saw Rodrick leaning against the van, arms crossed before he hopped up.

“Hey, baby,” he said casually.

“What’s up?” Sara asked, not understanding.

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Bill smiled, walking off to where his own car was parked.

She just looked at Rodrick, waiting for an explanation.

“I got Bill to check you out of school, so I could take you on our first date,” he smiled happily, seeming satisfied with himself.

“But, we’ve been on a date,” Sara pointed out. “And we go to the mall together.”

“This is something a lot better than the mall,” Rodrick promised her, making a point of it as he put on a dark pair of Ray Bans. “We’re going to the boardwalk.”

“Really?” she asked, surprised by the spontaneous gesture. “You’re cutting school? Again?”

“Yeah,” he scoffed nonchalantly, “I blocked the school on my mom’s phone. She’ll never know anyway.”

“Okay,” Sara grinned, throwing her arms around him as he smiled down at her. “So I have you for the whole day?”

“Definitely,” he said in a low tone, hands situated on her hips. “I’m all yours, beautiful,” he said in a cocky manner.

“Good,” she mumbled, kissing him on the lips.

He held her in arms as tightly as he could, making sure to wrap his arms all the way around her in a way that always made her feel safe.

“Hop in, sweetheart,” Rodrick teased her. “I’ll let you pick the music.”

Rodrick drove off as Sara sat blissfully in the front seat next to him, flipping through CD’s for a few minutes.

“Limp Bizkit?” she asked, holding up one of his CD’s.

“Whatever you want, princess. Today’s about you,” he responded affectionately as she popped it in.

The drive to Oceanside Pier would take about an hour, but Sara almost wished it would take longer just so she could sit in the passenger seat while Rodrick drove and talked to her. She felt like his world was centered around her whenever he would find special places to take her.

“You look really good sitting there like that, you know that?” Rodrick said a he watched her.

Her fair skin glowed golden like moonlight with the way sunlight poured in through the window.

“I think you forget how handsome you are,” she pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

She loved his shaggy hair and crooked smile like nothing else. Rodrick Heffley didn’t completely show it, but her words had an impact on him he couldn’t find the words to fully describe.

“You know, you have more personality than anybody I know. And it even shows on your face, and the way you look,” he stared in amazement. “Everything about you is just perfect. Just right,” he thought.

Sara thought for a moment, finding the compliment had a certain novelty to it. Her nose wrinkled in surprise as she tried to place her reaction.

“I always thought there was a lot wrong with my face,” she said softly.

This fact seemed appalling to Rodrick.

“What idiot made you think that?” he demanded.

“I don’t know. I just kind of accepted it as a fact. My teeth are kind of fucked. My eyes are hooded and uneven, and they have bags underneath. And my eyes are kind of droopy and dead,” she thought, seeming physically overwhelmed by the details as she spoke, as if not quite understanding.

“I think your eyes are one of the best things about you,” he said honestly. “And your smile’s the cutest thing ever.”

“Well. I think you feel about me the way I feel about you,” she stated.

“I hope so,” Rodrick expressed. “Because… I want you to be my girlfriend,” he concluded.

“You do?” Sara looked up at him.

“I do,” he nodded, completely serious. “Do you want that too?”

“Yes, I do,” she said without a second thought. “I think that would be perfect.”

He smiled at her, genuinely content with the world. When Rodrick and Sara frolicked around on the beach, after having bought swimsuits on the pier, he saw the whole world in her eyes. They were just brown, but to him, they reflected so much more.

In her eyes, he saw the same darkness he had in his own heart, and the same golden light he imagined pouring into his home through the windows ten years from then. Rodrick had never given growing up much thought, mostly because he thought he never wanted to do it.

But as he ran along the beach with Sara, and carried her in his arms in the water, he so badly wanted to fast forward and see if this, the lunacy of this dream, stood the test of time.

“Nobody has a voice like you,” Sara Walter said softly, as Rodrick heard their second joint in her voice.

They were sitting on a towel close to the water, but the few people who’d been somewhat close to them had cleared out because of the aromatic smoke. Rodrick chuckled lightly as he hit the joint with his sunglasses on, charmed by the sight of his girlfriend in her matching two-piece black and pink bikini.

“You think I could really sing if I wanted to?” Rodrick asked her.

The truth was, he heavily valued her opinion more than anyone else’s.

“Not necessarily sing. Scream, maybe,” she reasoned. “I think you have a voice that really rocks. You just have to find your style.”

“I think I want you onstage with me,” he expressed, passing the joint to her. “Like, background vocals, or something. I think someone like you could really take the band to a whole ‘nother level. Like, Amy Lee, or Lacey Sturm.”

“Please don’t compare me to Lacey Sturm,” Sara grimaced, taking a deep hit off the joint, “I don’t wanna fuck Jesus.”

“I have sandals on right now,” Rodrick pointed out in amusement. “Would that work?”

“Very funny,” she said to him with sarcastic approval.

“Do you ever think about dying?” Rodrick asked as she smoked while processing.

“What about it?” she questioned.

“Like, how you would wanna do it?” he asked awkwardly. “Or why you would wanna do it?”

“All the time,” Sara nodded. “I used to think about it a lot… I always thought I’d just OD, or something. Die young,” she offered her sentiments.

“Really?” Rodrick asked, seeming sad despite having the conversation on the sunny beach.

“Yeah… My family has a history of suicide,” she confessed. “My mom’s grandpa committed suicide. And my grandma; my dad’s mom. And my cousin, too.”

“Your cousin?” Rodrick said softly.

“Yeah. Bryan,” she nodded. “He was like my best friend growing up.”

“You told me about him,” he thought, remembering all the different stories. “You never told me he died.”

“Yeah. Shot himself a few years back,” Sara remembered. “He was seventeen.”

“I’m sorry,” Rodrick offered. “That… really, really sucks.”

“It does,” she agreed. “I didn’t understand it. I always thought, out of the two of us, it would’ve been me. He only smoked a little weed. I was the one who did all the drugs, even then… I wanted to go out like him. Young, and smarter than everybody. I wanted to go out on my own terms.”

“I think I know what you mean,” Rodrick thought. “I don’t…” he paused for a moment, seeming genuinely perturbed.

Sara watched him, wondering what was going on his mind.

“I don’t know what my life is for. I’m not smart, I’m not a good person. I’m not good at anything that matters.”

“Music matters,” she offered, not even able to process the inaccuracy of the other claims.

“Mine doesn’t,” Rodrick said spitefully. “I mean, my dad’s right; it’s not real music. We just bang on our instruments and scream about blood and shit, like, literal shit.”

“But that is real music,” Sara promised, sitting up in front of him. “If it means something, it’s real music. You think music has to be serious all the time? Look at Jim Morrison. Half of the time, he had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

“And you saw what happened when Fred Durst and Jonathan Davis got together and recorded a song. That was the least serious shit I’ve ever heard. Think about the people that made you wanna make music; did their music not make you feel something? Did it not make you feel good?”

“You’re right, you know that?” he said after a moment.

“How many times have you turned on the radio and heard a piece of industry-planted garbage that’s full of buzzwords and bullshit just to appeal to as many people as possible? ‘Baby’, ‘love’, ‘girl’, ‘party’, ‘boy’, ‘beach’. That’s the shit that doesn’t deserve to be called music.”

“You’re so smart,” Rodrick sighed, overwhelmed by his feelings for her.

“You’re really something, Rodrick. You have passion, and talent, and you really are driven when you actually put your mind to something,” Sara remarked. “Anyone who really sees who you are could tell you that.”

“But, I don’t know what I even wanna do with my life,” he confessed. “Mom and Dad both say I gotta go to college, but what the fuck am I gonna do at college? I don’t read, I can’t pass tests, and I definitely don’t know how to be an adult.”

“I think once you find something, it’ll all fall into place,” she told him.

“But what am I gonna do?” he asked. “I’m not good at anything.”

“That’s not true. No one who really knows you would let you think that,” she frowned.

“Well, what do you think I’m good at?”

“You are good with music. Specifically working out the beat and music of a song… Like the composition. And, you don’t think you are, but you’re good at finding ways to look at things so that you can understand them,” she offered. “I saw you explaining stuff to Chris during practice.”

“See, this is why I love talking to you about stuff,” Rodrick sighed. “You really get me, and you really wanna help me.”

“I hope so,” she thought, looking him in the eyes as she hoped he would see what she saw in him.

“I think my mom would really like you,” he remarked.

“I don’t know,” she sighed, exhaling a heavy puff of smoke. “I’m just different than what she wants for you.”

“She wants someone who cares about me, and is a good influence on me,” he stated confidently. “That’s you.”

That evening, a while after had Sara went off to work, and Rodrick had returned home, the Heffley family was seated around their dinner table for a family meal. Frank’s day at work and Greg’s day at school had already been discussed, and Susan was rambling on about different people they knew, before Rodrick decided he had something to share with them.

“Hey, Mom?” he said as he got himself a second helping of mashed potatoes.

“Yes, Rodrick?” Susan looked up at him, pleasantly surprised to find that he was willingly speaking up during a family gathering.

“I, uh… I have a girlfriend now,” Rodrick smiled smugly.

“Huh. That’s my boy,” Frank offered him an extremely paternal smile, for once finding a reason to be proud of his eldest son.

“What?” she finally looked up at him through her glasses, eyes widened.

“Whoa, look outside!” Greg interrupted loudly, pointing out the window. “There’s pigs flying!”

“Shut it, smart ass!”

“After you, dumb ass,” Greg muttered.

“I’m sorry, what did you say, Rodrick?” Susan asked after a moment.”

“I said, I’m a changed man. I have a girlfriend now,” Rodrick grinned, proud of the one he had ended up with.

“Oh, that’s nice, who’s the lucky girl?” his mother asked pleasantly, seeming thrilled.

“Sara,” Rodrick told her, expecting that to be obvious.

“Sara, Bill’s sister, Sara?” she asked incredulously.

“Sara?” Frank Heffley blurted out, almost sounding startled. “The blonde girl?” his eyes widened as a smile spread across his face.

He was quickly met with a sharp nudge from his wife, who seemed less than enthusiastic about the new development now.

“Yeah,” Rodrick nodded, not understanding the reaction. “I’m with Sara.”

“But, why?” Susan asked him. “She’s so…”

She failed to come up with something acceptable.

“‘So’ what?” he asked defensively, seeming upset. “Sara’s what?”

“She’s just… not who I would’ve pictured you with, is all,” she tried to soften her demeanor.

“Mom, do you even know me at all?” Rodrick demanded, seeing the disappointed frown on her face. “I’m serious. Like, do you know what I like, or how I think?”

“Of course I know you! I gave birth to you! You’re my oldest son!” she exclaimed in shock. “That’s why I don’t want you to end up with someone you’d regret being with, is all.”

“How do you even know I’d regret it? You don’t know anything about her!” he cried. “You’ve met her once.”

“And I’m not assuming anything!” Susan assured him. “I just… want you to be careful, that’s all.”

“Yeah. Your mother doesn’t mean anything by it,” Frank attempted to mediate the situation.

“Okay,” Rodrick tested her, a suspicious look on his face. “Then, can I invite her to dinner tomorrow?”

Susan nearly choked on her food.

“But, the Bensons are coming over for dinner tomorrow,” she reminded him, her face even looking pale.

“You said I could have a friend over for dinner whenever I want,” he pointed out.

“No, I said you seem to have friends over for dinner whenever you want,” she chuckled as patiently as she could, patience clearly thinning.

“Honey, Sara seems like a nice girl. Sure, she’s Bill’s sister, and she looks a little edgy, but she seems nice enough,” Frank reasoned, stepping in. “She’s polite, and she says ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. That’s more than we can say for most of the other kids he’s had over. I’m just glad he found a girl he likes that doesn’t sell pot in an alley,” he justified simply.

“I don’t know…” Susan considered skeptically.

“Come on, Mom,” Rodrick sighed. “You don’t change your mind with Greg’s friends.”

“That’s because Greg’s friends don’t come from families with more teen pregnancies and suicides than college degrees,” she mumbled.

“Susan,” Frank looked at her in shock.

“Mom!”

Everyone realized that he seemed genuinely hurt.

“I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t mean it like that,” she sighed, realizing her mistake.

“What other way is there to mean it?!” Rodrick snapped at her. “You don’t say shit like that!”

His father remained completely silent for a moment, not sure at all how to deal with the topic. Even Manny started to seem uncomfortable at the dinner table, as Greg was also surprised to find he was on his brother’s side.

“That’s dark, Mom.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Susan gave in, “I didn’t mean it like that. I was just getting stressed out, with all this… It was a horrible thing, and I shouldn’t have said it. I take it back.”

“How did you even know that?” Rodrick questioned her, disregarding the apology.

Even he seemed to be just finding out about it.

“People talk,” she sighed, “One of the PTA moms has a sister who used to work with Bill and Sara’s mom. People talk about that family, and the things you hear aren’t exactly good. I just didn’t know if I wanted you hanging around a girl like that.”

“Why would people talk about that? It’s fucked,”Rodrick said in disgust.

“I know. And I shouldn’t encourage it,” Susan agreed.

“So, are you actually willing to give Sara a chance?”

“Yes, honey, of course,” she promised, mostly out of obligation and guilt.

“Congratulations, son,” Frank beamed, shifting the direction of the conversation, “On finally getting a girl.”

It seems that was all they really could’ve hoped for. Rodrick just smiled in more of an awkward grimace, not really feeling as good as he thought he would after their conversation.

-

Meet the Fuckers

[viperwhispered]

It is here! The playlist for Emi's first year at NRC, and her relationship with Jamil.

Don’t get spooked by the Finnish in the first song, the rest are in English.

Basically, this mostly follows the timeline of Emi’s first year in NRC (for more details, you can check her intro post and the timeline of her relationship with Jamil). All from her pov, pretty much.

You can probably tell when the Jamil feelings start to take hold, lol.

Funnily enough, My Land was the first specific song that came to my mind when I started this up (hi Azul apparently the mood for your schemes is very specific). For the rest, I combed through my spotify library (and oop did it take longer than I anticipated).

There’ll also be a few bonus songs in a reblog, including some for Jamil's point of view (because tumblr likes to be silly about showing posts with links and I don't wanna try my luck more than I already am).

Also if someone would prefer a youtube version to more easily access the songs, do let me know!

Anyways, there'll be some rambles and explanations under the cut, both for my thought process and for what each song was chosen to represent.

Taikatalvi

I wanted to start off with something in Finnish, to express where Emi’s coming from before waking up in the coffin at NRC. Palasia by Harmaja was also a very strong contender, but I figured this had more of a magical and fairytale vibe which suited this occasion. Plus, like, Nightwish as a band has been with me about forever, so it was quite fitting from that perspective, too.

The Worlds Forgotten, The Words Forbidden

It seems to me this one might be reasonably self-explanatory. Emi doesn’t know where she is, she doesn’t remember where she’s coming from, and she’s not exactly having a great time trying to figure out what is happening. The joys of surprise isekai 🙃

Whatever Makes You Feel Superior

Our first overblot song. Emi’s rule following has its limits, too, and her first impressions of Riddle sure ain’t the most favorable.

Wrap Your Troubles In Dreams

Basically, about Emi generally trying to cope with her situation and keep her hopes up. I also thought of using Turn the Page by Blind Guardian or Wishmaster by Nightwish to specifically refer to her escapism via books, but unfortunately those had to go when I was cutting down the playlist.

Mindfall Remedy

For Leona’s overblot - yep, Emi doesn’t have a huge amount of sympathy for Leona either, at least in the moment when she’s just scared. It Won’t Fade by Sonata Arctica was also a strong contender, especially with all the pack and animal imagery, but it didn’t quite fit - plus we already had another song from that album, and I figured I’d go for more variety instead.

Day Three: Pain

Emi struggling to come to terms with the fact that welp, she could’ve died, and this place is dangerous, and scary, and strange, and everything. Basically, things are not great.

My Land

I felt the mood suited book 3 and Emi’s feelings there quite well. Azul basically got Emi on a warpath - Azul’s taken something of hers, her home as much as she has one, and she wants it back.

Plus, this has been a very motivational / inspiring / uplifting song for me for ages, getting me pumped up for dealing with difficult things, so I figured it’d be very fitting here, with Emi squaring up to deal with Azul’s schemes.

The Rest Of The Sun Belongs To Me

Basically Emi’s mood after book 3 / as winter break approaches. She’s still struggling, but she is hanging on, and seeing more of a light at the end of the tunnel as she’s adjusting more.

Asking For It

For Jamil’s overblot. This was a tricky one to pick a song for, because it’s like Emi’s angry and hurt, but not completely without sympathy. My other options were Chameleon Halo by Entwine or Sin With a Grin by Shinedown. Honestly, all of them could’ve worked, but again trying to pick just one. Girl’s fear and all sure is turning into anger here, tho - and she sure doesn’t appreciate the feeling of being fooled and used.

Life

For ADeuce and friendship in general. It’s not all bad here, is it, and Emi’s gonna be very touched when she realizes the lengths they both are willing to go for her.

Clevermind

Some reflections post Jamil’s overblot. Honestly partially included this just since it talks about what could've been in December, it just felt too fitting. Like, Jamil could've had more sympathy and stuff from Emi, and Emi recognizes it, but boy did he squander it.

Arabesque

I’m sure y’all can figure out who this refers to. (I’m thinking the Scarabia duo in general, tbh, but yeah Jamil in particular when book 5 rolls around.)

Plastic World

For Vil’s overblot. I also considered Curtained Life by Entwine. Nothing much to say tbh, I feel it fits quite nicely.

State of My Head

Grim’s gone (and so are a few others), and turns out Emi cares enough to be feeling very protective. Not like she can rush STYX guns blazing but yeah, she’s not exactly feeling meek here.

Bleeding for the Cure

For Idia’s overblot. Was a bit tricky finding something exact for this, but I think the mood’s pretty fitting here. Plus how Idia's feeling like she doesn't have a chance for a future outside STYX and all that fun stuff.

The Symphony

Things are looking more up, Ramshackle’s starting to get more cozy with what Emi & Jamil have been doing to fix it up, some of the anxieties have been leaving Emi. And, mayhaps, there are some feelings stirring?

A Dark Switch & Aquaman

Emi’s starting to realize her feelings for Jamil and commit to it. I could've stuck with just one song but I could not bring myself to do so.

The Looking Glass

For book 7. Comatose by Ayreon would’ve also been great, but again, trying to cull things down.

The rest is basically more or less sappy love songs for Jamemi’s future, lol. Still, it’s not all sunshine and roses - there’s times of separation in their future, with them being on different years on NRC, they gotta lean on each other, and it’s not like they always see eye to eye.

Honestly it was so hard not to make this too long with all the songs I wanted to include, but I’m quite happy with the range here.

And like, how could I not dedicate some time to being thoroughly sappy with these two.

Tagging @scint1llat3 @moonyasnow @bibi-cha

If anyone else would like to be tagged for Emi things, do let me know!

[xemily-similex]

Mechanic VS Glamrocks

It's dark and damp where you are cornered, the only light you can actually see with coming from the bright overhead light in the protective cylinder. Your breathing is quick, and your pulse quickens. You thought that working with the Glamrocks would be fun. Cool, even. This is something from straight out of your nightmares.

Three of the main four have you surrounded in Parts and Service. Roxy and Chica are standing guard on either side of the door to the cylinder, but the angry green gator is the one that has you trapped here. Freddy is nowhere to be seen, but you know if the fatherly tempered bear was here, you wouldn't be subjected to this!

You wipe the sweat forming on your brow and squirm. You just wish for this, this torture to end!

"Monty, please!" Your plead and it falls on deaf ears… microphone? Whatever the animatronics use to hear with. You could almost cry. The unshed tears of strife were stinging, and threatening to fall, but you had just enough pride to keep them at bay…for now.

You couldn't keep doing this, you couldn't take it!

Monty looks at you cruelly and bellows a laugh that echoes within the metal of his casing and the cylinder itself, amused by your apparent discomfort. Chica and Roxanne are cackling at your expense, as if your pain were funny to them. It probably was, thinking about it. They wouldn't have been so amused otherwise, you think to yourself.

You're getting to a point where you are uncomfortable. You thought the Glamrocks were supposed to be nice. Kind. Cared about the feelings of others. The treatment you're getting now is nothing short of cruelty, of barbaric-ness, of insanity!

It was like they had all gone mad, and their only objective was to kill you.

Monty blasts Take Me On louder from his speaker. You bite your lip.

"This is so stupid! You always pick the songs I can't resist!" You whine, your arms elbow deep in robotic gator guts. He had fallen, again, into the marsh in Gator Golf and had filled up with dirty, disgusting water. Monty was now propped up on the huge chair in the protective cylinder and you were doing your damnedest to dry him out and save him from any lasting water damage.

"Go ahead, Mechanic, you're gonna lose anyway." Monty says cockily with a laugh.

You and the Glamrocks were playing the usual game of 'IF YOU SING OR DANCE ALONG TO THIS SONG, YOU LOSE A KIDNEY!'. Except no actual kidneys are in danger. Only your pride.

"You're getting a free show, stop complaining so much." Roxy quips after she rights herself. She begins primping, fluffing her fluffy white hair and using the glass of the cylinder like a mirror. She began effectively ignoring everyone in favor of admiring her reflection, losing her amusement in anything outside of herself.

Chica squawks loudly after a couple minutes, and flaps her arms like her real life counterpart, knocking over cans of oil, paint and air duster, startling everyone. "Ohh! Oh, Monty play this one, play this one!" She stills, sending him a link through the animatronic only network, you assume. It was the only time they go unnaturally still like that, unless they are charging or powered off. You just got done checking over Chica, so you know she had full battery and no cause to just randomly turn off at the drop of a hat.

Monty nods, wicked smile forming on his minimally moving maw. You don't think you're going to like what's to come.

Music and theatre have always been your thing. You were still a theatre kid at heart, dramatic and over the top, and you sung like a canary, especially when you were alone, down in Parts and Service by yourself, flittering around after closing. Trying not to disturb the public with your 'off tune screeching' as Moon liked to call it.

You would just belt out whatever song was wracking around in your brain. It was almost like you had a playlist in your head, cocked and loaded for you to pick and choose from. The Glamrocks, on stage and off, have only added to your growing list. You still love it though, and it's one of your favorite things about working with literal rockstars.

It's also you're least favorite.

Even if you don't really know a certain song, if it has a good enough beat, you kind of have to just vibe with it. It puts you in the mind of Freddy and his programming to jam out on DJ Music Man's dancefloor. You have joked that you have the same programming.

Did that mean you were any good at it? Absolutely not. You admit, you are mid at best. Try telling your heart that, though. You heart believed itself to be a rockstar of the same caliber you're working on.

So now, you were wiggling in place, trying to stay still and stay focused while getting the water out of Monty's deep chest, and dry out his wiring before he started short circuiting. That meant very delicate work, which meant that you had to take your time which meant that your head had to be next to his speaker, where he could blast every song you loved and you wouldn't be able to get away, lest leaving him to rust.

You flex and curl your toes and do controlled breathing to try and work through it.

You were a third of the way done by the time he finds the next song.

"Damned copyrights." Monty curses while the song loads. He, along with all the animatronics, are hooked up to the Plex's WIFI and can access any music streaming app there is. The only catch is that they may access any music but can't play any music. Labels being afraid of the Band stealing songs for their shows or something. So, Monty had to go and find some unofficial lyric video or fan-imation project so he could play the song.

You start to laugh, calming down enough to effectively work. "Yeah, you almost had me the-"

Careless Whisper plays. Loudly.

You scream. You cry. You gag. You beg.

You lose yourself to the tune of Careless Whisper. Twice.

You slam Monty's chest plate shut. It took you an hour and a half to finish a twenty minute job. You are still a little bit proud of yourself, given such harsh working conditions.

The Glamrocks go to leave, filing out one-by-one and you go about cleaning up your mess. Monty pops his head back into the cylinder. "Hey, Mechanic, you want some singin' lessons? You were a lil' flat back 'ere." You throw the shop towel in your hand at the gator. He catches it flawlessly.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever! Don't try to fall into the swamp water next time." You quip with a smile.

The towel hits you in the back of the head forcefully enough to knock you forward.

[seeingivy]

method acting asks!

while I love the vision, margaret is already in the playlist and serves a VERY SPECIFIC purpose (meaning I can't move the chapter it's supposed to be in)

(and the reason her nickname was margaret in the first place was bc 1. uranus jokes 2. that song)

that being said, jeankasa are very margaret coded as well

people making eren y/n edits to waiting room after the documentary comes out too....especially of y/n being like oh no wonder she decided to disappear like she knew that was better for her

listen I didn't realize people were such levi/sasha and eren/gabi truthers...like I love to see it I personally AM (obviously. I literally wrote it.)

but so true. eren stop being the best boy ever challenge.

link

oh so american...u will always be famous...and they are lowkey both so lalalala

link

no listen I love louis's hair so much and I think it's SOOO funny when olivia's fans call him "mr. bob" like FJDSKLFJDS

no yeah, this is like the exact length method acting eren is at this point...but we're getting our most beautiful scrumptious cabin eren chop in two chaptesr so,,, so it's almost gone

anyways my ranking goes: cabin eren hair > short hair eren in marley > man bun > literally anything else > hobo eren

PLEASE WAIT THIS IS SO FUNNY. I feel like they would tweet that and then the fan account girl would be like can he fight? he punched two people in the face unprovoked for y/n please be so serious

anyways no contex spoilers + songs for the next chapter:

end of beginning by djo, turning page by sleeping at last, and sweet nothing by taylor swift

rip polaroid death wall

not to quote beyonce but, DRUNK IN LOVE!!!!

levi reality check

[asmrrpaddict]

Audios that make tough listeners soft are incredible. There is no denying this fact! I’m not great at showing emotion or asking for help in real situations, so to have listeners like Honey, Darlin’, or ironically enough another reckless werewolf with a healer vampire boyfriend in Extrovert Ed’s Reckless Transfusion (that I’m currently listening to for the 3/4 time. I’ll put a link for the playlist at the bottom.) makes my heart warm. And makes me realize I want more sweet vampire bf x tough werewolf (preferably, but obviously not required) gf.

Especially when the speaker hugs them and says things like “you don’t have to be strong with me”, “It’s ok to let go”, or they would do anything to keep the listener safe and that they feel safe in return. It helps the real listeners (not listener character) who are like that. It can show us there can be people who will love them and show them they are worthy of receiving the love, support, and affection they have a hard time showing even when they feel it. Those literally leave me in tears, because I have been that way my whole life and I don’t know how to stop. Being open scares me. I can’t help it. I am trying though.

As many people in my life know, I don’t talk to you unless I am truly comfortable doing so. I can and will talk to someone if I need to, but I can only joke with or open up to those I feel connected with in some way. Online, most of the time, I can talk up a storm if it’s something I know, am interested in, or if it’s something like this, but irl. 🤐

I love that there are those VAs who realize there are people who need to hear these things. Heck that they themselves may need to hear them. 🫂 to them.

Thanks for coming to my ramble. Again those who know my posts know that I can start out writing a single sentence and end up with a chapter. Making a post like this is scaring me, but I’m doing it anyway.

✌🏻

Seriously! Check out this 👇 playlist! It is incredible! 💜 If you like Sam and Darlin’ you’ll love this series too! I can’t remember which I found first, but both are wonderful and Ed is fantastic!!

[justmossyall]

egregiously long pinned post GO!

hi! the name’s claire. she/her, a minor, aggressively neurodivergent

a bit about me: i’m a christian, an author, an artist and an actor. i am obsessed with the fiber arts and am probably developing arthritis due to the many hours i spend embroidering. i’m a huge dork and love infodumping about my favorite things, so my asks are always open if you want me to rant to you 😎

the general stuff: no nsfw, don’t be weird, just remember that i am legally (and honestly mentally) a child before you say anything weird or are mean to me lol. also i have pretty bad anxiety and emetophobia, idk why that would ever come up but I figured I would mention it??? just…………….don’t stress me out or mention vomit ig????? bro idek anyways

side blogs because i have an obsession:

this is my main, a lot of reblogs about the things i like

my horrendous thoughts @justmossyaps

christian things @justjesusyall

art blog @justartyall

writing blog @justmosswrites

fiber arts 🤯😍 @justthreadyall

photography blog @raindropsonmushroomcaps

ask game! drama ask game! can you tell i like ask games! here’s a fourth one!

shows i like: gravity falls, arcane, bluey, bee and puppycat, amazing digital circus, toh, wandavision (not a marvel fan in general but i love that show), dance moms (don’t judge im a sucker for reality tv), and way too many kids shows. what can i say my mental age is like 4 (@person4924 and @sweetronancer know octonauts is where it’s at 😭)

movies i like: first of all i am a huge ghibli fan 😭 anyways the tinker bell movies, ratatouille, wall-e, the muppet movies, spiderman: into/across the spiderverse, brave, random 90s movies that I watch with my parents

books i like: psych im not listing all those, there’s way too many 😭 (kotlc and the scythe series are my favs though)

games i like: undertale/deltarune/undertale yellow (y’all should know by now how obsessed i am with that franchise), stardew valley, animal crossing, zelda botw (i have not played totk yet :( im hoping to soon though!), ddlc

artists i like: The Oh Hellos (if they have no fans i am DEAD im literally their number one fan), The Crane Wives, Animal Collective, TV Girl, Jack Stauber, Laufey, Strings and Heart, RIDERS, AJR, Toby Fox, Concerned Ape, Will Wiesenfield

special interests: undertale/deltarune/undertale yellow, embroidery/textiles/fiber arts, psychology (especially neurodivergencies, specifically autism and tic disorders), writing, gravity falls, arcane, bee and puppycat, the oh hellos, some very oddly specific medical stuff (mostly things like autoimmune disorders and the like, i just hate gore and tbh the cardiovascular system in general), kotlc, bluey, coding, linguistics/etymology, clowns for some reason??? girl idk don’t ask

i do a lot of writing, my first novel is actually fully drafted and i’m hoping to have it edited within the next 2 years so i can publish :) other than that main one + my other main-ish novel i have about ten million wips 😭

as mentioned above i am also an artist, i mostly just draw though i also embroider and dabble in clay and watercolor. my art blog is linked above so you can go check that out :)

i also do photography! it’s not a very serious hobby but i enjoy it, photography acc is also linked above.

i actually also make music???? lmaoooo yeah here’s my soundcloud it’s @\lofiwithsunny. i just write crappy instrumentals using soundtrap loops, but it’s fun and i think they sound pretty nice :)

i’m also an actor (yes i like to suffer creatively in many ways) so naturally i’m quite dramatic. i frequent the 😭 emoji and often use all caps. i love to sing though and i love music so if you have any cool songs you think i would like feel free to send them to me. OBSESSED with the oh hellos

speaking of which, my spotify is also @/justmossyall if you want to search me up. here are a few of my fav playlists ~ ~ ~

also as mentioned above, i am a christian! if you ever want me to pray for you or are curious about the faith, my asks and dms are always open :)

i’m completely obsessed with fiber arts omg if you embroider or weave or handspin your own yarn please please please be my friend

i am neurodivergent, suspected autism among other things (i’m not able to seek a diagnosis rn but i plan on seeking one when i can). im also having a lot of health issues recently. i’m not sure if it’s POTS, long COVID, fibromyalgia, or a combination of these things, or something different all together—either way, it’s been a pretty rough year for me. idk what’s up but it’s been a journey lol :’)

because of that (plus the fact that the subject overlaps with a lot of my special interests) there will be a lot of disability posting/reblogging here. i hesitate to speak up about it sometimes because im not professionally diagnosed with anything, and im a minor so i dont have much experience in life with these things, but i’ve got kind of a lot of stuff going on with me and it’s a subject im passionate about, so i’ll have a lot of stuff about that on my blog :)

honestly send me asks whenever you want, i am incredibly bored all of the time and love making new friends <3 literally rant to me about anything idrc but i apologize if i don’t answer for a while lol, i go through on and off phases of being on this site

i guess that’s about it?? love you guys have a wonderful day!! <3

[jellystarsdrops]

― Spider and the Moon // Chapter 2 ₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡

currently playing: awkward by sza

synopsis:  Uncle James suggests to Jefferson that Miles should work part-time at the roller skating rink to have some fun this summer. Miles reluctantly agrees, hoping to get on Lunella’s good side and not have a totally terrible vacation. Alas, it seems like trouble’s brewing in the city, and the two might have to become closer than they thought. . .

word count: 2087

ao3 link: 🌔🕷

a/n: this took wayyy longer than it should so I apologize for that! I got busy over the summer with a summer class and work (っ- ‸ - ς). Hopefully, I'll get into the flow with updating more frequently. Anyway, here's chapter 2! Shoutout to @sweeteaas with helping me with this chapter! You guys should check out their works!!^^ also kudos to my gf for being my beta reader :3 <3

“Okay Miles, right here is where all the skates are! We try and clean them every other closing night, although when we’re especially swamped…” Miles tried to pay attention, but Uncle James voice was fading out into a boring jumble of words. Sighing, Miles stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets and tried to look as interested as possible when his Uncle glanced back at him with a grin.

Miles had gotten the news that he’ll be working at the roller skating this morning and was immediately whisked into taking a tour of the building. The rink itself was pretty impressive, he had to admit, with glowing neon lights and fluorescent decorations making a colorful display. The funky disco music drowned out the sound of skates on the rink floor, as multiple groups of kids and adults alike were crowded inside. It was summer after all, and the rink was a popular hangout spot in the community. 

Despite the energetic display, Miles couldn’t help but feel put-off and uncomfortable. His interaction with Lunella just yesterday afternoon was itching at him. Why did she seem so annoyed at him? What was with that look? 

The fact that he was now set to work with Lunella for the summer would be a challenge, put lightly.

Despite everything with Lunella, Miles decided to look on the bright side of things. Although he’d rather be inside working on his sketches or playing some video games, the thought of his relatives owning a roller rink was pretty cool since it was the only one in the town. Plus, the job didn’t seem too hard, he'd just have to clean the rollerskates as people came in and he could pretty much chill! This can’t be that bad, it’s only for the summer.

Miles looked through his playlist on his phone, playing a song and putting in an earbud before he started cleaning the skates with a slight hum. It wasn’t too busy surprisingly. Just a group of kids and some families, though it would probably get more busy when it starts getting cooler at night. As he cleaned, he looked up to see Lunella walking into the skating rink. Looking around she would notice Miles, freezing for a moment before walking up to him behind the skate counter.

“...What are you doing here?” the girl asked, surprised to see him at the place she worked. This was the first time Lunella had spoken more to Miles since he got here.

“Well, Uncle James told my dad that it would be a great idea for me to work here part-time… so now I’m here,” Miles explained, looking down at Lunella and studying her expression. He didn’t think Lunella would work here, though now thinking about it, he was now starting to remember Uncle James telling him that Lunella does maintenance on the machines or something like that, but by her expression and frown alone, she wasn’t too happy knowing that Miles would be working this her.

After Lunella stared at him for a moment, she let out an almost annoyed sigh as she put a hand on her hip. She tried to put on her best smile even though Miles could tell that it was fake. “Peachy…” She muttered through her teeth before sighing again, taking her backpack off her shoulder.  “Just stay out of my way.” Lunella told Miles before walking away from the counter.

Miles watched as Lunella leave, he shook his head as he continued to clean. As he did so, his mind would keep wandering to the girl. Why is she so rude to him? ‘ They literally just met the other day. He can’t be that annoying when people first met him?’ Miles thought to himself. ‘Well… Miguel did but that was different!’

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

After about half an hour of cleaning skates and handing guests their right skate size, Miles would be done. The rink started to die down, so he was pretty much done until more people started coming in for whatever event was happening tonight. Sighing as he rested his elbows on the counter, he started staring off into space and waiting for the time to go by.

That’s when an idea would pop up in his head: This is a good time for me to bond with Lunella since it’s practically dead in here. 

Moving away from the counter, Miles walked around the rink to look for Lunella where she would be found behind the popcorn machine. It seemed like she was trying to fix it or something like that, Miles knew little to nothing about machines but he was surprised someone as young as Lunella would be into things like that.

Miles waited for a moment, trying to hype himself to speak up and say something to Lunella but his mind was going blank. ‘Why am I freezing up?? She’s like 5 years younger than me! This is sad,’ he rambled on in his mind before his thoughts were interrupted by Lunella clearing her thoughts.

“Are you just going to stand there or is there a reason you came over here?” Lunella asked annoyed, sitting up from the machine as she looked up at Miles. She didn’t have time for this.

Miles huffed a bit, putting on the best smile he could come up with at the girl before speaking. “So!... Machines… I didn’t think someone like you would be good with tools,” he exclaimed, trying to make conversation with his cousin and get to know her.

Lunella raised her eye, pushing up her blue frames. “Should'nt you be behind the counter cleaning skates?” she questioned him.

“It’s dead as hell in here, I think the skates will be fine,” he chuckled. 

She rolled her eyes before opening her mouth. “Is it a problem that I like fixing things instead of liking what? Dolls and boys?” Lunella accused Miles, answering his statement.

Miles immediately waved his hands around to defend from her accusations, shaking his head. “No no no that’s not what I meant at all! I just didn’t expect it! I think it's kinda cool and really impressive that you’re good at that stuff!” he explained. “I can hardly put a vacuum together and you’re over here fixing a machine!”

Lunella was completely caught off guard, having a surprised expression on her face before looking away as she put some tools back in her bag and took another out. “..Thanks..” she muttered softly, clearly embarrassed by the sudden compliment. 

Noticing Lunella’s embarrassed expression. He couldn’t help but smile a little at her trying to not to seem happy about his compliment and keep her unfazed attitude. He found it almost cute and it was a sign that he was breaking into her tough shell a little bit. He just has to keep budging her. 

Clearing his throat, Miles decided to keep talking to her. “So what does Lunella Lafayette like?” he asked, tilting his head a bit. He was trying to learn as much as he could so they would get long during the summer.

“Well…” Lunella starts off, trying to think while she continues to fix the machine. She wasn’t planning to talk to anyone today and just work but Lunella knew that he wasn’t going to leave until she talked. “Other than this… I like science stuff… Reading, roller derby, video games… Superheroes are pretty cool I guess.

As soon as ‘Superheroes’ came out of Lunella’s mouth, Miles’s eyes lit up. That just gave him a better idea to ask her. 

“Superheroes huh? Cool, cool me too… SO! What do you think of that Spiderman guy in Brooklyn? Pretty cool that we have a superhero in New York, right?” he asked with a smirk on his face, knowing damn well that he was gassing himself up.

“Spiderman? If your definition of cool is ‘a huge loser’,” Lunella says so bluntly, not even turning her head from her work. “I don’t get the hype, he isn’t that cool.”

Miles felt like he was just punched in the face.

He never met a kid or anyone who didn’t think that he- Spiderman was cool. 

“What?! He is not a loser!” Miles choked, trying his hardest not to sound defensive. “He saved a bunch of people and is a g-great part of the community!”

Lunella would almost choke on a laugh, covering her mouth so she could hold it back. “Oh really now?? Yeah right with a lame suit- is he bleeding out his armpits?”

“He’s NOT bleeding out his armpits! It’s a stylistic CHOICE!”

The amount of times he heard that comment Miles swore that he was going to commit a crime himself. The boy was trying his best not to sound crazy or give too much away but he just had to defend himself.

Lunella stared at Miles for a second in silence, not saying anything, just looking as if she was studying. He started to sweat, fidgeting with his fingers a bit nervously. 

‘She… She doesn’t know, does she…? I mean she seems smart but is she smart enough to know-’

“Listen, I really don’t have the time to listen to some Spiderman fanboy,” Lunella huffed, pushing up her blue frames as she talked. “SOOO, I’d really would appreciate it if you’d leave me alone and let me get back to work...” The girl says before returning to work on the inside of the popcorn machine.

Miles stopped his rambling thoughts when he heard Lunella telling him to go away basically. He still didn’t understand it. He has to spend the whole summer with this girl and he wasn’t going to let her bratty attitude ruin this. “Man, what is your problem?” he huffed frustratedly, trying his best not to let his annoyance get the best of him.

Lunella would snap her head up to look at Miles, hearing the frustration in his voice and it was starting to make her own blood boil. “What the heck are you talking about??” She questioned him, crossing her arms and now focused on him.

“I’m talking about you being so cold! I’ve only been here for a day and so far you have been nothing but rude as hell to me!” Miles criticized her, finally speaking about what’s been on his mind since he got to Manhattan. Based on Lunella’s reaction, she didn’t seem too happy about Miles confronting her.

“I’m not being rude first of all! I’m simply stating that I don’t want you bothering me!”

Miles rolled his eyes. “Please, you haven’t been doing anything important! You’ve only been a pretentious brat.”

That would tick something off in Lunella, getting up from the ground where she previously was and staring up at Miles due to their height difference, her fist clenched as it was very clear on her face that she was fuming now. “I’m NOT pretentious OR a BRAT!” Lunella growled, a light shade of red being present on her face. She had been called worst before, but brat was where she drew the line.

“Call me a brat again… I dare you.”

Miles’s frustrated expression remained on his face, not changing an inch. He wasn’t going to take this, he was the oldest after all so he thought he deserved some kind of respect. He bent down a little to Lunella’s height, looking dead into her eyes as if they were having a staring contest.

“You… Are… A… Br-!”

Before he could finish his sentence, there was a loud commotion coming from outside as people started to flood into the roller rink screaming in a panic. This would put a pause into the two’s argument. As James and Adria were trying to settle everyone down and get them to relax, both Miles and Lunella rushed over to the nearest window to see what was going on.

Outside the rink, a villain was causing some type of havoc in the neighborhood. He laughed menacingly, practically destroying everything in sight with some bags of cash attached to his back. Seems like he had gone to the bank before causing some chaos for fun.

Now this is what Miles needed. Some action for his summer.

“Uhhh I’m going to goooo help Uncle James right quick– I think he’s calling me or something!” Miles shouted out before Lunella could get a word in. 

Running to the back of the roller rink, Miles changed out of his clothes, revealing the black and red spider suit. With the final piece being his mask, Miles swung into action.

[orbmanson7]

Logangstamatic FAQ

What the hell is a "Logangstamatic"?

It's mostly just a silly name for the Logan angst animatics I'm making for this project.

There are 26 of these?

It was originally dubbed the "Logan angst flashcard project" because I started out using index cards (like Logan uses) but then things changed and I had a lot of different formats and types of animation to work with, so "flashcard project" wasn't really accurate anymore... And I already often said "logangst animatic" so the abbreviation was born from there, I guess!

Anyway, here's the link to the playlist. Every new video will be added to the playlist as they release!

There will be, once it's all done! I'm only doing a minute or two for each song, so it won't take too long to make so many!

How soon will the videos be out?

There isn't really a set schedule, due to a whole number of factors (mostly my ridiculous work hours), but I intend to post a few every couple of months and I will do my best to give updates when I'm almost done with an animation before I post it in full!

I'll post both updates and the finished animations here on Tumblr, on my Kofi, on Twitter, and on YouTube! Follow me in at least one of those places to see those updates!!

In the meantime, if you don't mind spoilers, I have the full song playlist available to listen to over on YouTube! Feel free to check it out!

Are the animations only about Logan from Sanders Sides?

Uhh, technically yes? Logan angst, in general, is often focused on how Logan is dealing with both external and internal stressors in the series, so while he is the main focus in these animations, the other characters do show up quite a lot, especially Thomas.

Do all the videos have the lyrics on screen?

Yes! The 26 songs chosen for this playlist all have lyrics (though there is an extended playlist with plenty of songs that do not), so those lyrics will be displayed in some fashion in each animation video! Sometimes they are in the art itself, sometimes it's added in post, and there are some songs that are not in English so the translated lyrics will also be present in those, too. Each youtube video will also have the specific lyrics used in the animation listed below it in the description.

Are you getting paid to make these?

Not at all. I don't have anywhere near the numbers youtube likes to allow for monetization, plus nearly all of the songs I'll be using are copyrighted so they wouldn't be able to be monetized anyway. Regardless, all the work I'm doing for this project is just for fun, but I do have a carrd linked below if anyone is willing to throw me a little cash so I can keep making more stuff like this! (Don't feel obligated, though, I have a full-time job and am not in desperate need of funds, but anything that's donated goes right into making more animations!)

If you have any questions not listed here, feel free to send an ask and I'll get you an answer right away!

And, in case you're curious about more places to support me and my work, here's my carrd, with links to all the places I post art, writing, and other work!