#anyway blame this on the stuffed alligator

[totally-not-an-awkward-okapi]

Alice in Wonderland except it’s a surreal political comedy. Alice gets moved to the backwater town of Wonder on a job assignment, realize she needs to run for local elected office to actually get anything done, and quirky local political traditions quickly spiral into “Wait so you people have your own monarchy which you still uphold to this day?”

[wanderinginksplot]

Clone Trooper Rambles

The clone troopers in my head never stop talking, even when I’m doing something as boring as making my bed. Other parts can be found here.

Fitted Sheets Suck

It was time to wash my sheets. I did it as often as I remembered, but I often forgot in my six hours of free time per week. Anyway, my sheets were freshly washed and dried and I had even managed to get them finished before sunset, so I didn’t have to battle the curtains beside my bed as I put them back on. 

A few of the troopers had followed me into my room, curious about the process and the grumbling I was already doing. Rex was closest, leaning against my dresser while Hound sat on the floor with Grizzer sprawled half in his lap. Jesse stood by the closet. Having an audience wasn’t my favorite thing, but I was blasting music, so I figured any sarcastic comments would pass me by.

I threw the fitted sheet over the mattress. Fitted sheets were the actual devil, but at least they came first. All I had to do was get the sheet on and the rest would be easy.

A minute and a half later, I was planted in a half-kneeling position, trying to pull the edge of the mattress up despite the weight of my own knees. It felt a little bit like I imagined alligator wrestling would and I hated it. The corner of the mattress slipped once more from my grip and smacked back down against the slats of my bedframe with a mocking sense of finality.

“Why are you trying to lift it while you’re sitting on it?” Jesse asked eventually. The music didn’t block out his voice at all. Worse, it sounded like a legitimate question. I always had trouble ignoring those.

“Because my arms aren’t long enough to reach the corner if I’m not on the mattress at all,” I told him curtly. I wasn’t in the mood for short jokes, I really wasn’t. 

Rex frowned and stepped closer to the bed as he observed the situation. “What if you just moved the bed away from the wall?”

“I can’t lift it by myself and there’s no one else here,” was the simplest answer. Plus, it sounded better than ‘my pride won’t let me do that’. 

“You could attach a handle to the mattress,” Hound suggested. “That way, you would have something to hold while you got the sheet in position.”

I had to give him that one. It was an option I had thought up myself in the past, but it also seemed like more trouble than it was really worth. “That would be a good long-term solution, but I just need to put this sheet on. I might try the handle thing later, though.”

Rex shook his head. “This would be so much easier if we could help.”

“Don’t I know it,” I said gloomily. There were so many parts of my day that would be easier if I had a few biologically-enhanced super-soldiers willing to help out. “But I’ll get this eventually.”

It took about two more minutes of wrestling with each corner of the mattress, but the fitted sheet was eventually in place and I took a moment to catch my breath before I continued with the rest of the work.

“You can’t seriously be tired from that,” Rex scoffed from behind me.

“Are you serious? Did you miss how much work that was? Of course I’m tired from it!” I shook my head, oofing a bit as Grizzer leaned up against my leg to offer his bulky brand of comfort. “Anyway, I just need a minute.”

“You need a better workout program,” Rex muttered and I grimaced in his direction.

“If those sheets are that much work, why don’t you move your bed away from the wall and against that one over there?” Hound asked, pointing to a different wall altogether.

“I can’t move it there because it would block the bathroom door,” I explained. With a mild glare in Rex’s direction, I said, “It’s okay, apparently I need the exercise.”

Rex shrugged unrepentantly. 

“That’s why I don’t bother with sheets at all,” Jesse announced. “I have a mattress, a pillow, and a blanket. That’s it.”

“Ugh,” I summarized, stuffing my own pillow into its pillowcase.

“I don’t use one of those, either,” he told me, pointing to the pillowcase. “It’s a waste of time.”

“You guys wear helmets almost constantly,” I argued. “You know how badly hair and skin oils can stain surfaces, especially fabric ones. Gross.”

Jesse didn’t look concerned. “It’s my bunk. I’m the only one who sleeps in it. If it’s all oil from me, who cares?”

I fought back an actual gag and Grizzer stared up at me in fascination. “That’s… It’s just- Rex, have you ever considered that you have a psychopath in the 501st? Like… maybe even an actual serial killer?”

“Me?” Jesse asked, splaying a hand over his chest. “I wouldn’t hurt a womp rat.”

Hound made a rude noise before I could. “You must be the only soldier in the GAR who doesn’t keep an estimated droid kill count, then.”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t hurt a droid, did I?” Jesse returned, sounding pleased with himself. “Droids aren’t womp rats. Isn’t that right, Captain?”

“Get some sheets,” Rex ordered.

I looked down at Grizzer, sitting patiently by my feet. “If you want to stay here with me, I wouldn’t blame you.”

Grizzer grinned up at me, his tongue lolling out of his mouth as I finished making my bed.

Previous | Next | Masterlist 

[seasonofthegeek]

The Trouble with Babysitting

I’m not sure why but I got the desire today to write Gabriel and Nathalie babysitting Hugo and Louis in The Trouble with Kittens universe so here we go. :)

“Are you guys sure?” Marinette winced as Hugo floated up to the chandelier and grabbed one of the delicate crystals hanging down. He let out an excited giggle as he clinked them together. “Hugo, floor time please.”

Gabriel eyed his grandson apprehensively but nodded. “They’ll be fine. We’re prepared.”

“It’s just that a weekend is a long time when it comes to three year olds,” Adrien warned. “And the twins can be a little more challenging than most.”

“I’m aware of that. You were this age at one point and you survived.”

“Yeah, but...” Adrien trailed off and busied himself with the luggage, unwilling to finish his statement.

Gabriel opened his mouth as if to question him but Nathalie shook her head and he snapped it shut.

“Plagg and Tikki are willing to stay as well, so you’ll have a little help,” Marinette added quickly, rubbing her swollen belly. “And--”

“Race car,” Louis demanded, tugging on her sleeve.

“Race car, baby. And we’re only going to be a two hour drive away so if anything hap--”

“Race car!”

“Race car. If anything happens or if you guys need us to come back, just give us a--”

“Race car! Race car! Race car! Mama, race car please!”

“Race car, Lou. Give us a call,” Marinette finished, fishing a red toy race car out of her jacket pocket and handing it to her son.

Adrien coaxed Hugo down with a blue race car and the toddler turned the same shade of blue as he settled into his father’s arms happily. 

“Right,” Gabriel cleared his throat, suddenly very uncertain about what he’d agreed to, “things should be fine.”

___________________________

“How’s your shoulder?” Nathalie leaned closer to the mirror as she applied moisturizer under her eyes but glanced at her husband’s reflection.

“It stings but I suppose it could’ve been worse.” Gabriel let the singed button-up slide off his shoulders and he studied the angry red burn on the right one. “Louis is a dramatic child. Not a fortunate combination with his abilities.”

Nathalie tried not to smile. “Seems he’s an Agreste man through and through then.”

“You can keep those thoughts to yourself.” Gabriel caught her eyes to take the sting out of his words.

“You’ve been thinking about Adrien tonight, haven’t you?” She moved behind him, gently touching the braised skin.

“What do you think he was going to say earlier, before they left?”

“That you didn’t really raise him,” she answered simply.

His shoulders slumped. “That’s what I thought.”

“He isn’t wrong, Gabriel. You can’t be upset.”

“Yes, I can.”

“Well, I suppose you can but it won’t do either of you any good.”

“I’m trying.”

“I know you are.” She rummaged around in a drawer and brought out a nighttime face gel. “This should soothe the burn. I know things between you and Adrien go back and forth but you’re both working on your relationship and you’re trying with the boys. That’s all you can do. You can’t change the past.”

They spent the rest of their nighttime rituals in a thoughtful silence. Nathalie went down the hall to peek into the twins’ room. Louis and Hugo were cuddled together on one bed, the other one filled with a mountain of stuffed animals. 

“They wore themselves out about twenty minutes ago,” Tikki whispered, zipping to the door. “Hugo did unscrew the lightbulb though so that will need to be fixed tomorrow. I tried to explain he could just use the lightswitch but he’s as stubborn as Marinette.”

“Hey, Louis didn’t destroy anything except old Gabe’s shirt and shoulder in his tantrum. I say it was a good night,” Plagg cut in, looking at them from his throne of plushies.

“We’ll see you in the morning then. Goodnight.” Nathalie pulled the door shut and made her way back down the hall. “Both boys are out.”

“I’m glad. I have to admit, I’m feeling my age tonight.”

She smiled and climbed into bed beside him. “You are a grandfather.”

He pursed his lips, brow furrowing. “Did you ever want children, Nat?”

She settled down in the bed and rolled onto her side, looking up at him still sitting against the headboard. “Sometimes,” she admitted. “There are days when I regret that I didn’t.”

“Is it my fault?”

“Bold of you to assume I couldn’t have left at any point that I wanted and started a family,” she replied, quirking an eyebrow.

“That’s not...I didn’t mean...”

“I wasn’t so lost in love with you that I was never with other men, Gabriel.”

He scowled. “I’m well aware of that.”

“Jagged was an especially talented lover. There’s something to be said for dating a rock star.”

“Would you like me to call for the divorce papers now or wait until morning?”

She smiled and tugged on his arm until he slid down into the bed, flinching when the pillow rubbed against his shoulder. “What’s got you wondering?”

“Adrien and Marinette are about to have a third child and I know you were around for most of Adrien’s life but I guess I wonder if you regret not having your own.”

“Do you regret not being a bigger part of Adrien’s?”

Gabriel’s jaw clenched and he gave a stiff nod. “Yes.”

“But you’re happy with what you’ve got now, aren’t you?”

“Of course.”

“Then I suppose you know how I feel, a bit anyway. There might always be a part of me that wishes I’d had my own child but I don’t regret the choices I’ve made. And now there are two little boys to love and another sweet baby on the way. Things could be worse.”

“I suppose.”

“I don’t resent you if that’s what you’re trying to get around to, you insecure pretty bird.”

A smile tugged at his lips before his expression turned more serious. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“Well, I don’t. I made my decisions and while you may have indirectly colored some of them, they were my own.” She closed the space between them with a gentle kiss. “I love you and I love our life.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

A sharp cry interrupted her reply and Nathalie moved to get out of the bed.

“I’ll go,” Gabriel offered, already standing.

___________________________

“How was the weekend?” Adrien asked apprehensively, looking around the foyer for damage.

“It was great. We went to the zoo,” Nathalie began.

“Saw lions and alligators!” Hugo announced. “Roar!” Louis joined in on the roaring and the two chased each other up the stairs, pausing to growl playfully at each other.

“The zoo?” Marinette shot Gabriel and Nathalie an impressed look. “And you survived? The last time we went, Louis tried to melt the glass so he could pet the jaguar because they had the same eyes.”

“We steered clear of the big cat exhibits for the most part,” Gabriel admitted. “Though the lions were accidental.”

“And a big hit,” Nathalie added. “They each have new stuffed lions upstairs.”

“Of course they do. You don’t have to keep buying them stuff, Dad. Between you guys and Marinette’s parents, they have more than every toy store in Paris.”

Gabriel flushed. “They wanted them and they were really well-behaved while we were out.”

“Being a grandfather has turned you into a big softie,” Marinette teased. Her smile turned to a grimace as she put a hand to her stomach. “Goodness, for only one this time, she sure doesn’t give me a moment of rest.”

“And I think that’s our cue that it’s time to head home,” Adrien said, eyeing his wife worriedly. “You need to get off your feet, sweetheart.”

“I know, I know,” she huffed. “I’m fine really.” They shared a look and Adrien frowned but nodded. 

“Come on, boys, tell Grand-Pere and Grand-Mere thank you and goodbye.”

Hugo, now a glowing orange color, bounded down the stairs followed by Louis, his black hair trailing behind him as it reached past his waist. They took turns hugging Gabriel and Nathalie and then hurried to the front door, ready to continue their day.

“Thanks again, Dad.” Adrien faltered for a moment and Gabriel stepped closer, pulling his son into a hug.

“Thank you for letting us keep them. I know they usually stay with Tom and Sabine. It really meant a lot.”

Adrien nodded, ducking his head and hugged Nathalie quickly before joining his wife and sons at the door. “Have a good night, you guys.”

“It’ll be nice to have peace and quiet again,” Gabriel said gruffly, turning away from the door after it closed after his son’s family.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get to see them again next week,” Nathalie soothed, voice slightly teasing.

He smiled, looking back at the door. “That’s true. I suppose I’ll have to find some way to fill my time before then. Can I take you to dinner, my beautiful wife?”

Buy me a cherry coke?