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heyitsjooooanne · 5 months ago

Text

265

One room.

Two hundred and sixty-five packages.

A young man decides that he's had enough…

Author's Note: Inspired by a Korean musician with questionable behavior concerning his package deliveries.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

My friend Holden liked to collect packages.

Actually wait, no.

I'm sorry.

He liked to hoard packages.

Ah.

See?

That’s much better.

But back to what I was saying.

This dumbass liked to hoard his own packages.

Let me show you what I mean.

It was a cold, January day, the birds were migrating, couples were cuddling, casseroles were baking, and—

Okay, I'll just cut the bullshit and get right to it.

See, Holden and I (my name is irrelevant), were part of a small group of rich online influencers.

Now, don't go throwing that rotten fruit at us just yet.

Yes, we posted videos on social media, but we treated the gig like actual jobs, which they were.

And not to brag, but those videos gave us both a hefty sum of money.

Read: I am currently a millionaire at the time of writing this.

Anyway, Holden and I lived together as platonic roommates while we both did god-knows-what outside of the apartment we lived in. Which was fine by me.

So fast-forward to sometime in early 2017 when we were both 24.

It was damn cold, our heater was broken, and there I was, minding my own business (I was playing a video game in my bedroom) when this stupid son of a bitch walked in and said...

"Here's your birthday gift."

One: My birthday was in November.

Two: He bought that birthday gift for me the previous year for the previous year's birthday!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“You’re kidding, right?”

“What?”

And if you're wondering how that could've happened, I'll tell you how.

He hoarded packages and never opened them, so naturally when he ordered something for me online, he tossed it aside and never bothered opening it.

Sigh.

Yes, I needed to actually write that out.

And that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Two years later, I had finally gotten enough money for my own place, so I moved into another room a few floors down from our old room, which was now Holden’s.

But I would occasionally go over to his room to hang out and film videos for our individual channels.

There was a time when I had to watch my two-year-old nephew (read: his cat) for a few days while he was visiting his family.

The problem?

I was bored out of my mind.

Because I had already used up all of my data.

And it wouldn’t be renewed until the next day due to a “system error.”

Also, the WiFi didn’t work.

Now, I love Coco.

He’s like a real-life version of the cat from “Kiki’s Delivery Service.’

But all he does is sleep, cuddle, and look absolutely adorable.

Great for relaxing, but not so great when you’re itching to do something.

So I decided to count all the unopened packages in Holden’s "delivery room."

He called it that, not me.

Ignoring his poor taste in naming rooms, I counted every single package in that room, and it all led to just one number.

265.

He ordered two hundred and sixty-five damn things, and he didn't open a single one of them, other than him randomly finding a package and going "oh! I forgot I ordered this for you ‘X’ number of years ago."

In case, you’re wondering, yes, Coco is still alive to this day.

I know.

It’s a shock to me that someone like him could keep a living creature alive for that long too.

But don't worry.

This ended up biting him in the ass later on.

Because remember when I said he and I were part of a group of rich online influencers?

Well...

Actually, it hasn't been that long, so this is still a sore spot for me to think about.

But I'll push through it.

Jesus, how many "birthing" references can I make in a single post?

Meh.

I'll just get on with it.

So this group was made up of ten people, myself and Holden included.

Seven guys and three girls.

And we were all super close with each other.

I'd even go so far as to say we were all friends.

In 2020, one person from our group got sick.

Her name was Emily.

We had dated a few years before then, but we eventually broke up because we each wanted different things.

She wanted kids.

I didn’t.

But we ended up being pretty good friends after our breakup.

Anyway, I probably don't have to tell you what she got.

The point is, she got it.

My last image of Emily was her laughing at a stupid joke that her boyfriend made as they both got into an Uber to go back to their hotel.

We had all been partying at a club that night.

#richpeoplethingsssss

And then six weeks later, I received a call from her boyfriend telling me that she had died.

Shot down like a fly.

Just like that.

After that, they all started falling down like dominoes.

One after another.

Trust me when I say that a virtual funeral is not any better than a real one.

And when you're forced to "attend" nine of them (a relative of mine also died) in the span of a year, it really does something to you.

"Forced" might not be the right word to use here since I attended them all voluntarily, but...

Now, you can believe in whatever conspiracy you want, but the point is that people we knew died.

And if you're wondering why Holden and I didn't get sick...

Honestly, this is a little embarrassing to write down, but...

Holden and I got a great opportunity to try out this new game before things got crazy, and...

We spent two weeks in our own rooms playing it.

Then we had to stay in quarantine.

Then we had to wear masks everywhere.

Combine that with the fear mongering news anchors, my hypochondria, and you've got two dudes ready to wear hazmat suits outside.

Or at least, I was.

I didn't though.

(I couldn't find a legit one online.)

It's easy for me to laugh at the ridiculousness of this now, but at the time, it was a Hellscape.

Finally, in 2022, I just snapped.

I don't know what it was.

Could it have been that it was May 14th and that was the day that Emily had died two years earlier?

Maybe.

All I remember is going into Holden's “delivery room” because a damn fly had flown in there and I was trying to kill it.

I swatted with the fly swatter and missed, which caused a package on top of a pile (yes, he had piles) to drop down to my feet.

I picked it up and shook it, and it sounded like a bag of chips.

I was already angry with the fly for getting in through the vent, so I was already pissed off by this point.

So, not caring that I was committing a literal crime, I opened the package in frustration.

It was a bag of cookies made exclusively in Japan.

A favorite of one of the friends who had passed away in 2020.

His name was Kareem.

After that, I just saw red.

I'd realized then that I'd had enough of Holden and his complacent bullshit.

I barged into his bedroom without knocking and threw the bag of cookies in his face.

I think he was live streaming.

Maybe a game or something.

After that, it was a blur of us yelling at each other and Holden getting upset at me for interrupting his stream and opening up one of his packages.

No, shit, dude. Someone had to.

After it was over, I rushed back to my own room, fuming.

The next day, I invited my boyfriend (#birepresent!) to stay at my place for a while.

Holden would eventually knock on my door a week later.

I was still angry, so I told my boyfriend to ignore him.

The next morning, my boyfriend told me he had to go out and do something, so I stayed in my room alone.

But the fight between Holden and I kept nagging at me.

I knew I couldn’t let that be our last interaction with each other.

So I went over to his room.

I knocked, but there was no answer.

Feeling a sense of urgency, I put in the pin number for his door lock and in an unsurprising twist, it worked.

It was his birthday.

>_<

After I was in, I immediately went over to the "delivery room” and found Holden sitting cross-legged on the floor gliding a sharp kitchen knife across the taped end of a package that was actually a box.

I looked to my left and saw several packages opened up with their contents discarded in a pile next to them.

It was so surreal, I couldn't believe my eyes.

Was my friend Holden actually opening these packages????

I bit my tongue to avoid saying something snarky and settled on...

"Need some help?"

We spent the rest of the day opening the packages.

We even shed a few tears because it seemed like every package was an old gift that Holden had forgotten to give to one of our dearly departed friends.

Finally, at around 11:45 PM (I had my phone with me), we finished opening up every single package that he had neglected over the years.

It was like a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.

And even though he didn't say it, I could tell that Holden was relieved too.

The next morning, while we were both enjoying a bowl of oatmeal at his dining table, I asked him why he had taken so long to open the packages.

"Don't tell me you really forgot."

"Well it's just that..."

He sighed.

Then he ate another spoonful of oatmeal.

"You're gonna give me shit for saying it."

"We've been friends for over ten years. I've already seen your shit. Literally."

A tiny laugh from him.

"Come on, man. Now's not the time to be a passive shithead."

"Alright. Fine."

He put his spoon back in his bowl.

"I was thinking about it last night, and I realized that the reason I never gave our friends their gifts was because... I never appreciated the time I had with them. I mean, getting opportunities to travel to other countries. Speaking at Cons all the time. I don't know..."

He looked down at his bowl.

"I guess I always assumed that since we were rich that there would always be enough time. Like we could buy more time if we needed to."

"That's stupid."

"I know. But it's what I thought."

I leaned back in my chair.

"So what do you want to do now?"

Holden leaned forward.

"Maybe I should send all the packages for our friends who have passed on to their families?"

"That could work."

Holden and I spent the next couple of days calling everyone, but no one wanted the gifts. They were all items that could be ordered in the exact same way online, so there was nothing really special about them.

Nothing personalized or unique.

Three days later, by sheer luck, I overheard these college students talking about a donation drive on their campus.

I immediately ran home (well, I ran to the subway) and told Holden all about it.

He agreed to it.

I really should've recorded the looks on the students' faces when they saw Holden dropping a big-ass box of miscellaneous shit into their donation box.

And that wasn't even half of it!

The school didn't want anyone else to miss out on an opportunity to donate something, so they cut him off at about twenty items.

But that was just the beginning.

A professor told us the phone numbers of places where Holden and I could donate his box of thingsTM, and we spent the rest of the day going to every single one of them until finally we were down to a box of thirteen items.

Unfortunately, we had already gone to all the donation centers in the city.

Not knowing what to do next, we decided to call Uber again and head back home.

The next morning (take a shot of water every time I say this), I was scrolling through social media when I saw a clip of someone announcing a giveaway that they were hosting.

And it hit me.

Like, literally hit me because Holden accidentally bumped into me while trying to get to the kitchen to make breakfast for himself.

"Sorry, dude."

"You should host a giveaway on your channel!" I blurted without thinking.

Holden turned around quickly.

"Huh?"

I got up from my seat at the dining room table.

"A giveaway! That's how we're gonna get rid of those thirteen items."

Holden crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Got any ideas?"

"Hmm..."

Two weeks later, I went with Holden to the post office and watched him hand a box that contained a really fancy black jacket worth eight hundred dollars that was going to a very lucky winner in Oregon, to an employee behind the desk.

And that was that.

Two hundred and sixty five packages, finally gone.

I glanced over at Holden and noticed that his eyes were getting shiny.

But I didn't say anything.

Instead, I put an arm around his shoulder reassuringly.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Author's Note: I actually think this would make a very good short film. Maybe something for the holiday season or whatever. Also, 265 is supposed to be Seventeen’s debut date scrambled up (May 26th, 526 = 265).

#original writing #short story #friendship #loss #kpop inspired #hansol vernon chwe #seventeen #svt

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soulmate-game · 3 years ago

Text

Not related to the other two Bio!mom Harley AUs that I did. Just... similar. I wrote this instead of sleeping, as per the usual.

—*—*—*—*—*

“I need your help.”

No accent, no threats of violence, no beating around the bush (figurative or otherwise). No fighting or unconscious bodies.

Just Harley Quinn with her hair down, no makeup, and completely serious, in the center of the Bat Cave. Even though her usual exaggerated Brooklynn accent (circa 1950s) had become a pretty inseparable part of her personality over the years, every now and then she forcibly stuffed it down and used her mostly unaccented voice. The one reminiscent of days with less colors on her face, a high bun, and a pristine white lab coat.

Every single one of the Bats and Birds present, fresh from an interrupted patrol thanks to her, could count the number of times they had seen Harley like this on one hand. Bruce would have the most recollections, but everyone else would have plenty of fingers left on said hand. So they all knew, especially when Bruce willingly pulled down his cowl so he could look Harley in the eye, that this was the start of something they were not likely to forget. And maybe their chances of survival were slim too.

“Harley,” Bruce’s voice was still gruff, seeing as he was still mostly Batman at the moment, but his eyes were soft. “Maybe you should tell us what you need help with first. And sit down. You look exhausted.”

Sure enough, there were dark circles under Harley’s eyes. She let Bruce-man lead her over to one of their debriefing tables and sit her down. She let out a huge sigh, her fingers tangling in her loose blond locks.

“I have a confession, and it isn’t gonna leave this cave, capiche?” The slight return of her accent relieved a little of the tension, but not much. Taking this as their cue, the rest of the bats spread out into their usual seats at the table. Bruce stayed near Harley, keeping a hand on her shoulder in silent support. Harley didn’t continue talking until he gave her a solemn nod in agreement. She gulped— an action that immediately returned the tension.

“... fifteen years ago, back when I was still with Joker, I disappeared off the Gotham scene for a few months. I’m sure a few of you remember,” she looked up, and a couple of the older vigilantes nodded. Really, Jason has still been Robin back then. But the memory stuck out in his head now that he was thinking about it.

“Yeah, you were breaking away from him a little bit, which was weird at the time,” Red Hood mused aloud, arms crossed. “I think you helped us out a couple times and did some of your first team ups with Ivy before you vanished. Then a few months go by and you were back in action with Joker, so we mostly ignored it as you just being you.”

Harley nodded. “Ah, my Ivy’s a lifesaver, even back then. She helped cover up the timeline by keeping me in action for longer than I should’a been without putting me at too much risk.”

“Timeline…” Red Robin spoke up, eyes huge even behind his mask. “You don’t mean—“

“Harley,” Bruce breathed, having also caught on. “You were pregnant?”

The air went still. Harley sniffed, eyes watering even as she smiled.

“Oh yeah. Shouldn’t have been possible, ya know? Me ‘n Joker being dumped in that damn acid should have made us both more sterile than an operatin’ room. But I knew I couldn’t raise a kid, so after she was born—“

“You kept her?” Damian interrupted, earning a gentle cuff over the head from Dick. Harley just snorted.

“Yeah. Not gonna lie, I thought about abortion. But the baby didn’t do nothin’ wrong, and I was still in love with Joker back then so I was ecstatic that I was able to make something new with part ‘a him in it. Still, I knew a baby didn’t deserve to be raised in Gotham. Especially not my baby, not with my enemies and history. Not with who her father was. I knew he’d never want her, never let me keep her. So I spent the last five months of my pregnancy lookin’ around for the best possible family to take her in. And I found them in Paris, France. A sweet couple, both of them bakers. Sabine, she’s both adorably sweet and super kickass. Comes from a Chinese family that is crazy about teachin’ their women martial arts. But nothing shady about it, I triple checked. Just bonding through kicking people in the face. Which is perfect, I wanted my baby to know how to defend herself. I knew she’d need those skills eventually. And Tom, that’s Sabine’s wife, he’s a gentle giant. Same size as Bane, but as harmless as a puppy and makes the best croissants ever. Seriously, the best.”

“Harley,” Bruce gently prodded, but there was a tiny grin on his face. Seeing her behaving so… so normally, so proud and reminiscent, was a rare treat. Bruce would be lying if he said he wasn’t proud of how far the woman had come. How she had freed herself and become a better person, mostly on her own.

“Right, right. The point,” Harley took a breath, rubbing her forehead. “I came clean to Tom and Sabine, but apparently they knew who I was the whole time. They just didn’t care— did I mention they are perfect? Anyway, once I explained everything, they agreed immediately to adopting my baby. They’d been wanting kids, but it would’a been too risky for Sabine’s health. That’s how I found them anyway, they were in the market to adopt. We named her Marinette. She took Tom and Sabine’s last names, hyphenated. We decided Quinn would be her middle name. And after that, I came back to Gotham and told myself that she was in good hands and I needed to forget about her. Cuz I was no good for her. I knew that. I went back to my old tricks. And then…” Harley chuckled, but it was self-depreciating.

“Then a few years passed, and I started breaking away from Joker for real. Then we broke up, I blew up Ace Chemicals while you guys were outta town doing Justice League and Young Justice shit. I started dating Ivy. And—“ she smiled softly at the table, clearly seeing something the rest of them couldn’t. “Then Ivy convinced me to go see her. Visit my baby, see how she’s been. And I did. Marinette was seven years old, but damn it to hell she was gorgeous. And say whatever you want about me and Joker— most of it will even be true— but neither of us are stupid. And she inherited all of our intelligence. All of it. She got my blue eyes. But she got his hair, which meant Sabine teased me relentlessly about ‘are you sure she isn’t that Wayne’s kid?’ And don’t make that face Bruce, you’d be lucky to have a kid half as beautiful as my Mari-pie. No offense, Damian. Anyway. Anyway, this is the important part. Or part of it.

“She sat there and listened to everything I had to say. Everything. A little seven year old, who could barely understand English at the time, and she listened without interrupting once. She never threw a fit, she wasn’t angry or confused. I told her about the things I’d done in the past— well, G rated versions— and she didn’t care. She called me Momma Harley right away, said she wanted to meet Aunt Ivy sometime soon, and started telling me everything about her that I’d missed. From that day on, she became my sunshine. The light of my life, and I still call her at least once a week every week. When I disappear for a few days out of the city? I’m visiting her—“

“You’re banned from international travel, Harley,” Dick scolded, but he sounded way too amused for it to work. He knew she had her ways, anyway. Nobody could actually stop Harley damn Quinn from doing whatever she wanted.

“—Ugh, she tells me the same thing every time! Disappointed glare and everything. I don’t know how I gave birth to such a goodie goodie, but somehow I did. Not important though! The important thing is, I’m always the first to hear when something new happens in her life. And we had decided that she wouldn’t visit me in Gotham until she was at least eighteen, but apparently she disobeyed me— which I should have expected honestly— and entered you guys’ WE international scholastic competition.”

“Oh no,” Bruce pinched the bridge of her nose. ��Marinette Dupain-Cheng? The contest winner?” He finally pulled out a chair and sat down. “The winner gets an all-expense paid trip to Gotham for them and their whole class.”

“Exactly!” Harley threw up her hands. “Mari told me last week, and I’ve been trying to talk her out of coming ever since. But she’s inherited both of our stubbornness too, and she isn’t budgin’ a bit. ‘Momma Harley, I wanna see you and Auntie Ivy though!’ And ‘Momma, Gotham’s nothing I can’t handle,’ or my favorite, ‘Maybe you’ll finally get to see me dropkick someone three times my size then, and I’ll prove it.’”

“So that’s what you meant by you need our help,” Tim said as he leaned forward over the table. “Joker just broke out of Arkham yesterday. You want us to protect her.”

“I’d prefer if one of you was with her outside of the mask too, as often as possible,” Harley confirmed. “I can’t stop her from coming here anymore, but I also don’t trust Joker for a second. As soon as he sees her, I’m afraid he’ll make the connection.”

“She looks like him?” Damian asked, scrunching up his nose at the ugly mental image of Joker as a teenage girl. Harley shook her head, solemn.

“She looks like a dark-haired mini-me,” she corrected. “She even keeps her hair in pigtails as her way of showing support for me. And I know Marinette can kick ass, Sabine’s trained her well. But Marinette inherited more than I’d like from me,” Harley ran a hand through her hair. “I didn’t notice it until she was thirteen. She got a crush on a classmate, and it was almost like watching videos of me back during the early days of— well, of Harley Quinn. Just without the crime and insanity. She didn’t even realize that she was almost stalking the poor kid until I pointed it out, and luckily I was able to put my doctorate to good use and we nipped that right in the bud ASAP. She never meant it that way, anyway. As soon as I explained things to her, she was horrified and immediately asked me to help her learn how to have a healthy relationship. That was a fun discussion,” Harley grimaced. “But she still gets attached to people really, really easily. Once she grew out of her crush on that boy, she adopted him as her unofficial brother. She already calls Selina “Auntie,” even though I’ve barely mentioned her to Marinette. She gets attached fast, and deeply. And I’m afraid that even after all the warning I’ve done, all the stories I’ve told her—“

“You’re afraid she’ll get attached to Joker just like you did,” Bruce finished for her, closing his eyes. “Because she knows he’s her father.”

“Yes,” Tears were slowly dripping down her face already, her hands curled into fists so tightly that her knuckles were paper white. “You know how he is. If he finds out she’s his biological daughter, he’ll immediately try to take advantage of that. And he’s far too good with his words for people like me and Mari. I’m worried outta my mind. Please. Help keep my baby safe from him.”

“We will,” Jason no longer had his helmet on, or the domino mask that he usually wore underneath it. All of them knew masks were merely formality with Harley nowadays. And he needed to look her directly in the eye so she could see how serious he was. “I can sign up as a bodyguard for the class. It won’t be weird, seeing as they’re tourists and this is Gotham. They also have several rich kids in their group if I remember right.”

Bruce nodded, agreeing with Jason. “That’s a good idea. I can lead the class on their tours of WE personally. That’ll serve the purpose of keeping an eye on her and shutting up the investors that keep begging me to make more public appearances for the sake of the company. Marinette’s name is already released to the news as the winner of the contest, so we can’t keep her out of the spotlight long. Tim, you’ll have to keep an eye on any and all pictures of the class. Try to erase or doctor the images with her in it well enough that connections between her and Harley can’t be easily made. Dick, you and Damian will be in charge of keeping an eye out for any activity from Joker. The slightest hint, and you notify all of us. We’ll decide on a case-by-case basis who is necessary to stick with the class and who goes after the clown.”

“She’s gonna sneak out of her hotel to stay with me and Ivy,” Harley admitted, bringing the (now slightly judgemental) attention back to her. She raised her hands up in surrender. “She didn’t tell me that, and I didn’t approve or suggest it! I just know my baby too well to not realize that that’s her plan. Could ya provide an escort?”

Bruce sighed. “This is gonna be an eventful month.”

#maribat #ml x dc #mlb x dc #soulmate-game #bio!dad au #bio!mom harley quinn #bio!dad joker #maribat fanfic #maribat fic #platonic Harley x Marinette #platonic Ivy x Marinette #platonic brucinette

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snootsnoot-fiction · 4 years ago

Text

The Past Hurts

Pairing: Roman Sionis x reader

Word count: 2.1k

Warning: Mentions of child abuse and sex, hints of torture, death, and fluff fluff fluff.

A/n: Soooo I had a general fluff idea for Roman after watching Birds of Prey again, and I felt creative so decided to write it sooner rather than later, and just made the rest up as I went along. I had fun writing Roman, he is a dangerous manchild xD

Summary: You give one of Roman's men the slip and meet someone from your troubled past...

You and Roman had been together for almost a year now. Officially.

Back when you first met, he was immediately smitten, but you insisted on simply dating and getting to know one another first. You hated the idea of rushing into things, but with each date and day, you fell harder for this man. This criminal.

You had had a rough childhood. Foster home to foster home. All you knew is the woman who gave birth to you didn't want to have to raise a child. It made you bitter most the time. You understood there might have been reasons, but none were provided while you bounced from one family to the next. Each too busy with their own blood relations for you.

A few months before you turned 16, you were put in what would turn out to be your last foster home. It was a childless couple. The woman was mostly quiet, but also caring. While her husband, you soon discovered, was drunk most the time. The wife sometimes told you he wasn't like this before, and he was usually a very loving husband.

She was a dim light in an otherwise completely dark hole that was your life. She looked after you. Talked to you. Even helped you bathe on particularly nasty days when it hurt to move a single limb.

Of course, you still had to go to school, and that was your only real escape from the man. You ended up confiding in the odd kid that everyone else seemed to avoid. As a 16th birthday present, she gifted you a knife and a wink with a smirk, but no words. You knew exactly what was on her mind though.

The first thing you felt when you got home that day was a hot sting on your cheek as you fell to the floor. Your school bag had fallen off your shoulder and you could see the faint glint of the knife.

Your body seemed to take on a life of its own, and before you knew it, the man you hated was on the floor, and in your own hate-fueled rage, you found yourself continuously bringing the knife up and down in heavy blows until a loud scream tore you away from it.

You whipped around, knife in hand, to see the only person who had shown you any compassion. Her husband was demanding, but he had never laid a hand on her. You thought you saw something break inside her the moment her eyes connected with yours.

You didn't give yourself time to dwell on it; you were out the front door quicker than a Flash. You eventually met up with the same girl that gave you the knife. While you did initially panic about what might happen to you, you couldn't deny you were grateful for the present.

With her help, you made a suitable enough living for yourself within Gotham. The police never came for you. She was the only real friend you had, and one night she decided to invite you to the Black Mask Club.

That's where you met him.

Since leaving your old life behind, you learned to defend yourself. You were by yourself at the bar just finishing your fourth drink, when a guy sidled up right next to you. His hand almost immediately on the curve of your backside. You raised a brow and looked at him to see the most creepy smile you had ever seen.

Of course, you gave him one chance to accept rejection, but he didn't want to. The man merely grabbed your wrist. Acting on instinct, you flipped him and he suddenly found himself lying over the bar.

Everyone looked at you, but you ignored them as you gestured to the bartender for another drink while a voice called for the party to continue.

"I don't believe I've seen you around here before, uhh..?" You turned around to see a man in a dark, velvet suit with black gloves. You instantly found him attractive, especially in your semi-drunken state.

"Y/N." You replied with a small smile. "This is my first time.. and you are?" In response, the man merely chuckled in disbelief. Sure, you were new, but you seemed to genuinely have no idea who he was, making his face drop.

"I'm Roman. Sionis. I own this place." He gestured around him with a hand, and your cheeks started reddening thinking he might throw you out.

"He wouldn't take no for an answer, I wasn't about to leave here with him!" You defend yourself. This only made Roman chuckle again.

"Relax! I saw what happened and I am very impressed Y/N." You relaxed, but still felt cautious. "Care to join me? Drinks on me."

"But you own the place?"

"Exactly!" Roman grinned as he stepped aside to show the way to his table. You looked him up and down for a moment. You could tell he was dangerous, but that only made him more attractive, and so were you.

You barely remember the rest of the night. The next thing you knew, you were waking up in an unfamiliar bedroom. You had slept with the man who you later found out to be one of the biggest criminals in the city.

Roman was sad to see you leave that morning, and insisted on you coming back to the club. You almost didn't. When you eventually told him you wanted to take your time with things like this, he whined a little, but ultimately accepted. Anything was worth getting his hands on more than just your body.

Now here you were. You were Roman's, and everyone damn well knew it.

Your man usually insisted on having someone with you most the time, to ensure you were safe despite knowing you could handle yourself. Earlier today you had managed to give them the slip when you met none other than the wife of the man you murdered so long ago now. You hadn't seen her since then, but she was always kind to you, and that's what got you.

The next thing you knew, she was hurling all kinds of abuse at you, making it evident something really did break in her when she walked in on you then. You didn't want to hurt her. She was the only person growing up that treated you like a human being, so you took all the verbal abuse and the surprisingly strong hits. You let her get it all out of her system, but you weren't about to let her be your end, so when she finally seemed about ready to move on, you left.

You slowly made your way home. To Roman.

Her words weighing much heavier than anticipated as you trudged through the streets. You felt numb as your childhood shattered behind you.

It was late now. The club was empty, but it was still dark. You sometimes stay out, but you would always tell him so he knew you were perfectly fine. Now Roman was worried. Where on Earth could you be?

Zsasz was holding his shoulders in an attempt to calm him down, but Roman merely pushed him away. At that moment he spotted you. A loud gasp escaped him as he rushed over to you.

"Where have you been?!" He looked you up and down with a face full of worry, hands gripping your shoulders tight. Something was clearly wrong. "Darling?" His voice soft now. The man felt a mix of sadness and worry for you, and anger and rage at whoever could have caused this.

"Come on, let's get you sat down 'kay?" Protectively wrapping an arm over your shoulder, Roman led you to the bedroom, sitting you in his comfy chair before kneeling down in front of you. "What happened? You can tell me." You looked into his bright, sad, and angry eyes. You knew exactly what he would do if you mentioned who did this to you. At this point, you didn't really care, but you didn't want to be the cause of it.

Roman put on his stern face. "Now darling, if you won't tell me, you know I will find whoever did this anyway." You knew this was true, but you still couldn't say anything.

After a few more moments, he looked up to his right hand man who disappeared, before he focused his attention on you.

"Let's get you cleaned up baby.."

You were sitting in the bath, just about to get out, when there was a knock on the bathroom door. Roman opened it only enough to talk with whoever was on the other side. Whispered words too quiet for you to hear.

You had gotten out the bath and was leaning down for a towel when he looked back and noticed. He rushed to grab the towel for you, wrapping it around your shoulders. He was about to leave to get you clothing when you grabbed his wrist.

"Don't leave me…" your voice was almost too quiet, making Roman frown.

"Zsasz, fetch some of my night wear!" He called over his shoulder before giving you a gentle kiss on the head. "I'm here." Only letting go to retrieve the clothes Zsasz had gotten and helped you dress in them. They were big on you, but extremely comforting. The towel was left on the floor for now as he led you out of the room, images of your battered body full of old and new scars flashing through his mind. You meant more to him than anything and all he wanted was to see you safe and happy.

Roman knew you had killed the last foster dad you had, but Zsasz had just informed him who it was they were currently holding downstairs, and he understood why you seemed so… heavy on the heart. Zsasz was waiting as his boss escorted you to bed, helping you settle gently and wrapping the covers snug around you.

"Roman.." you called as he made to exit the room.

"I won't be a minute darling, I swear. I'll make it up to you." Before he did leave, however, he rushed back to give your head another kiss.

*****

Roman Sionis, now he was not in your presence, was more visibly pissed than he had been in a long time. Not even Zsasz could do anything to calm him.

The moment he laid eyes on the woman, Roman was immediately upon her with an almighty smack that managed to knock an old tooth out.

"Ew." He grimaced distastefully before looking back at her with such fury it was a wonder she didn't burst into flames right there and then. "Y/N didn't tell me it was you, but you can be fucking well sure I am going to make you suffer for what you did to them!" His voice rose to a shout, and he backhanded the woman again, ignoring all the cursing coming from her.

"Make it nice and slow Zsasz, give her the full treatment…" Roman stepped back, watching as his right hand man began his work on her, then left.

*****

It really had only been a minute, but even that felt too long. You were hugging a pillow when Roman suddenly appeared in the entryway of the bedroom.

You couldn't help the gasp. Jumping out of bed with a wince, you rushed over to give your man a hug so hard he let out a surprise groan before wrapping his arms around you, careful to not hurt you. Roman wasn't about to stop a hug you needed, so it was a while before you reluctantly pulled away to look at him.

That's when you noticed it. Grabbing the handkerchief in his suit pocket, you gently wiped at the speck of blood on his cheek. You knew full well what was going on downstairs, and while prior to today you might've been upset by it, right now all you cared about was the man in front of you who was currently looking down at you with a quizzical look.

"Blood." You stated simply, throwing the handkerchief to the floor, and offering him a small smile, making him smile tenfold as he held your face for a while.

"No harm will ever come to you again, 'kay?" Tired, you simply nodded. "Now I'm going to get dressed for bed, so you.." he pulled you over to sit on the bed, "wait right here." You watched as he shed himself of his white suit and pulled on a pair of silk pyjamas.

Pulling back the covers, Roman shuffled underneath them before pulling you onto him. You settled comfortably with your head on his chest and arms wrapped around him, and he pulled the covers back over the both of you before simply holding you in his arms. Fingers tracing shapes absent-mindedly on your arm and back as you slowly but surely drifted into sleep.

Tagging; @rentskenobi @stardancerluv

#roman sionis #roman sionis x reader #roman sionis fluff #ewan mcgregor #birds of prey #black mask

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theravencawsatmidnight · 3 years ago

Text

Rabbit. Chapter Two Part Two

Draco x Hufflepuff reader

Tags; @khemz1312 @trashyvicks @dracoslittlesunflower @dracmalf0y-dm @rosiehufflepuff @goofygobber @shinsouscatpisssmell

W!Heavy Ptsd, mental freak outs. Hearing voices, blood, bruises, cuts. Draco trying to convince himself he’s fine. Refusing to ask for help. Mental instability. The voices are the Dementors

After two years in Azkaban for how he treated you he was finally free. The only thing keeping him going was you. Now finally reunited with his Rabbit he thinks things will go easier for him. But Draco is struggling mentally and refusing to ask for help, but his only hope might be the person he despises the most

Draco did not return to the bedroom, he ran his hands under the cold water staring at them watching the blood run down his wrists down to the drain of the sink trying to think of a way around this… what could he do ? he needed help… The man shook his head at just the thought of him asking for help. “Rubbish.” he slapped the water off drying his hands on his briefs and going to check on you to see you asleep.

Its dark there huh?

Like the cell

“Shut up…” the tired shaky man shook his head going back to the living room, his vision was dizzy and he had to drag himself along the wall so he would not stumble and fall.

Why do you even bother?

Coming here?

“B-b-because..”Draco fell into the back of the couch seeing Biscuit asleep on his pillow and quickly went around the furniture to scoop up the rabbit holding him close to his chest. He let out a heavy sigh of relief once he felt Biscuits cold nose against his chest sniffing around. “I ,.. Wanna be with her…” he laid down on the couch with the curious bunny on his chest. He shook his head several times trying to get the voices to subside..

But does she want to be with .. you?

“She does.. “

Draco did not last long in the dark; he had gotten up and turned every light on except for the bedroom . one thing Draco did learn in Azkaban was that the Dementors hated the light. So every night he would sit under the window in his cell hoping the moon would be full and bright enough to shine in on him… But even with all the lights on he still saw darkness when he shut his eyes…

He was back on the couch with Biscuit on his chest again trying to think of something else, anything else. He wanted to share the bed with you so bad.. He longed for that moment with you. To have you snuggle against him .. tracing your finger on his chest.. Telling him stories .. cuddling up to him when you get cold.. Did you have any cute sleeping habits he wondered.. And did you prefer the middle or the edge of the bed.. Did you like to sleep in …?

“Rabbit……”

What if you get worse?

You already broke a glass, remember?

“Shut u-u-p…” he was starting to sweat, a long bead of it sliding down his head. We miss you Draco

Dont you miss us?

“N-no..” his hands found his hair digging into his locks. “I .. “

We love you for who you are Draco.

“You bastards made me this way..!” he sat up and Biscuit hopped off his lap scaring Draco, he jumped shielding his face till he realized it was just the bunny. “Im…” he wrapped his arms around himself feeling very sticky and uncomfortable all over, his skin felt like it was crawling and his bruises ached again with each heave of breath he took from his chest. “Im fine…”

You are fine , Draco.

Perfectly fine

Your fine

Your fine…

Your ..fine

You-r fi-ne…

“SHUT UP!!!” Draco threw himself on the floor hitting his head hard on the wood making the voices subside, he stayed there for a minute, crying.

In the morning you had woken up to an empty bed and every light on in your home. Quickly you jumped out of bed rushing to the living room to see it empty. “dr..Draco..”

“Yes Rabbit?” you heard behind you.

You whipped around seeing Draco with a towel around his neck and sweats on him. You clung to him sighing with relief. “Nothing.. Goodmorning.”

Draco squeezed you tight, wrapping an arm around your back and head giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead. Draco had passed out from exhaustion last night around 3 AM and woke up not too long ago drenched in a cold sweat with Biscuit wiggling his nose on his cheek . he had no idea when you would wake up so he had to hurry and cover his tracks.

“Good Morning Rabbit.” Draco squeezed you again and you slipped free taking his hand.

“I'm thinking.. We go get some clothes today?”

“S-sure.”

“And i think the twins opened their shop up again, maybe we could .. go check it out? Everyone deserves a good laugh sometimes..”

he was nervous.. It would be crowded in the twins shop...

Why dont you just run away

Come back to us

You cant handle things on your own anymore

You cant handle this-

He shook his head bringing your hand to his lips so he could kiss it. “Sounds good, Rabbit.”

The shopping went.. Okay.. there's only so many choices in Diagon Alley after all. Simple dress clothes and a couple loose shirts was all he needed. All though you insisted he get some more clothes he could relax in .

“Draco dont you want more loose fitting things?”

“D-dosint ma-matter Rabbit” he was having a hard time talking to other people. Everyone he ran into asked him about Azkaban and you had to step in and change the subject before Draco blew up at them. You noticed he did not walk the same way he did in Hogwarts; back then he had his head in the clouds, his ego on his sleeve, his attitude front and center and that damn smug smile he wore on that damn grumpy face.

Now he looked over his shoulder, shook his head, faked his smile and rubbed his hands alot to keep himself from scratching his arms. You noticed he only did it when the wind blew and were growing more and more concerned about him. Something was wrong, something awful must have happened in Azkaban… but the real question was would he ask you to listen to him explain… anyone… someone.. You loved Draco Malfoy, but you worried for his health too.

“Hmm.. im going to get you a few more . ill be right back “

“O-o kay, ill be .. at the twins shop”

You turned to grab his hand “you sure youll be okay alone?”

Will you?

We dont think so

You wont be alone Draco

….you will have us…

He shook his head and pulled you in for a hug and kissed your lips. “Im sure, Pet. no go get me something nice yeah?” he patted your head, getting a small smile out of you.

“Yes, Draco” you teased him hurrying off into the clothing store again. It warmed his heart a bit.. He loved the teasing .. he wanted more of it. He wanted hsi days to be full of it…

Its a shame…

...that this will not last..

..but….. Everyday you go on..

...brings you closer to us…

“Shut.. up..i shouldn't be able to hear you in that bloody twins shop … “ Draco stumbled turning around to make hsi way to the very eyesore of a shop.

Loud. it was loud. It was crowded and people were everywhere laughing, playing jokes on others, playing music, things were flying around, confetti and the likes. People shoving to get to the next big attraction and shoving all kinds of colourful candy in their mouths. Draco flinched every time someone touched him. Usually he would yell and shove back but .. all he could do now was cower and look over his shoulder . his head was quiet, for once. He could not hear the Dementors in here and the shop was well lit too making it easier to keep them at bay.

Draco maneuvered the shop looking for the twins , it should not be too hard. All the Weasleys have this unique look to them. Draco moved to the center of the store when someone bumped him trying to get by making him jump and stumble into the desk hitting his hip, someone else pushed by and he white knuckled the furniture starting to breath heavily.

Draco…..

Draco…….

Draco……….

“Dammit.. Shut up….” he pulled himself up looking over the people seeing the twins at the back of the store. Carefully he made his way to them and they both saw him and waved.

“There he is !” Fred said.

“All is right now yep” George added.

Draco was holding his side trying to stand up straight and look intimidating but the look on his face told the twins he was afraid.

“Bloody… twins.”

“Thats us!” they both said with pride.

“Wheres… Pottah…..”

They looked at each other and then Draco, getting a good look at him.

“You okay Mate?” Fred asked , helping him steady himself

“How is y/n by the way?” George asked.

“Shes f--f-f-ine, “ he shook Fred off gulping down a breath. “Where. Is. Pottah”

“Uhm.. top floor actually, hes getting some things for his kids.” Fred pointed.

“Thanks..” Draco shot them a look with a slight nod and made hsi way up the steps to the much more empty area. He spotted Harry looking over some joke spells in a book . Draco tried to be quiet but…

The boy who lived?

Draco stumbled into a desk making it squeak, Harry looked up from the book and quickly put it down to go to Dracos side. He was struggling to stand and breathe.

“Draco…? Are you alright?”

“Sshh--shut up…-”

Yes ,,, Draco …

Shut him out…

You dont need him

You only need us

...you only need… us

Harry helped the man anyway and Draco slumped into his side cursing himself. Harry helped Draco to an empty room and shut the door, carefully he sat the man down in a chair and sat down across from him not saying anything. Draco was a mess inside and out right now, he hated Pottah, hated everything about him , how dare he refuse to be his friend all those years ago? That duel… that damn… quidditch match… that damn….. Bird …

Leave..

Leave

Draco, leave

You dont need-

“P-p-pott-ah,.....”

Dont.

“I … n-ee-dd,....” he dug his fingers in his hair whimpering in front of this man .

Harry instantly knew something was wrong, he stayed as calm as he could.

Draco Malfoy of Slytherin... the smug, man who did not care for anyone else at all , only himself. Never asked for help from anyone, did things his way… picked on whoever he wanted...not a care in the world… was whimpering in front of the man he hated most. On the verge of a breakdown.

“I need…..”

DONT DRACO!!!

He looked in Harrys eyes with heavy tears falling down his face… staining the wood table. “I need help……………………..please………………”

#draco 😤#draco x hufflepuff reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #.RabbitFic

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tokoyamisstuff · 4 years ago

Text

Betrothed Ch. 6 - Illumi Zoldyck x Reader

Chapter 6: Bold

Summary: Two pretty unusual family meetings, but one of them lacks a happy end.

Warnings: Angst, Family Drama.

Words: ~4300

Story Masterlist

A/N: Tumblr accidentally posted the unfinished draft a few days ago. Sorry for the confusion! As a treat, you get a very long chapter! (:

Before you were married, Illumi was rarely at home.

He had no one to come home to anyway, let alone someone who cared.

Anyway, this was only one of many things you had changed.

These times, whenever he left, it was only for a good reason like missions, training or caring for his siblings. Sometimes family conferences you were allowed to attend as well, yet not to talk.

Whenever he got home, it felt so cozy and peaceful.

Like he was welcomned and safe here - unlike anything he knew before.

Your home would always smell like scented candles, the many flowers you had planted at the balconry, and whatever you were cooking at the time.

It was very lovely and kinda cheesily decorated by now. Most of the things were stuff you asked Illumi to bring home from his missions, but lately he got you anything he thought you'd like.

Of course you were grateful for everything. It meant he took the time and actually think about what you'd appreciate!

Occasionally, you’d bring home injured animals you found in the forrest surrounding Kurokoo mountain. Sometimes your husband reluctantly assisted you, even though he found kindness futile - he just couldn’t say no to your begging eyes, so be it.

From you, he got love and care in return for his efforts. But a wild animal? Well, if he thought about it, he consdiered himself lacking a real consciousness just as much as the pets you kept.

One day, he’ll understand why people help each other without wanting something back - you promised him. Even though he always emphasized that saving such small lives won’t redeem him anyway.

Yes, the weight of his sins was sure massive - especially now that it all broke down on him, suffering under his newfound sympathy.

You swiped through your phone, adoring all the photos you persuaded him to take together.

It filled your heart with joy to notice every small change he underwent:

He'd run himself a bath from time to time, buy sweets or other things to try out, and spent his free time reading or wandering the estate's forrest instead of thoughtlessly staring into the void.

And for the more nasty things, well...let’s just say Illumi is a quick learner. And you were glad that he began taking the initiative and try out things he may enjoy.

Your husband was more and more developing a personality.

"She's so pretty!"

"Yeah, right?" you proudly commanded the owl to come back, and she immediately landed on your lap. "Her name is Luna."

“She was a gift from big bro Illumi, right?” Your familiar had grown strong very fast, yet it's claws never hurt you. Sometimes you almost forgot that Luna was a dangerous animal rather than a cuddly pet. “Yes, she is!”

"Maybe we can play in the forrest some day. I just need some time to convince your parents."

Alluka was sitting on a chair next to you, cheerfully petting the patient bird. "Thanks, big sis!"

Illumi's little sister was probably the only normal person in this building. No nen, no assassin training either, and a loving nature.

If only there wasn't-

"Y/N!" Oh no. Your husband was back earlier than you expected. "Did you bail her out again?!"

"Big bro!" the little girl cheered, jumping down the stair and wobbling to his direction.

There was not the slightest hint of hate inside of her. Even though she was alone all the time, she was blissfully unaware about her own family resenting her.

"Illumi!" That was the first time you actually raised your voice against him. "Take.down.the. needle. Right now!"

You kept Alluka from getting closer to Illumi, defendingly wrapping your arms around her.

God knows what he'd do...

"Then get that thing out of my face."

Actually, you didn't want to fight in front of a child, but Alluka needed constant superveilance . "How can you be so cruel? She's your sister!"

"Did you make a wish?"

"Of course not! I used my nen to get her out unnoticed, so she could spent some time like a normal child. I would've brought her back tonight. That's all, really! I promise!"

Suddenly, you felt a foreign, powerful aura under your palms.

Damn it.

You forgot her last wish was a hug, which was exactly what you gave her right now.

"Aye."

"That's enough." Illumi already had his needles prepared, infusing them with nen. "I'll end this right here."

You knew he didn't mean it like this. He was afraid of Nanika's powers, and even if this wouldn't end in a disaster, his parents would punish you for your reckless actions.

"Nanika?"

The girl answered, her blackened orbs obediantly glaring at you. "Aye?"

"Y/N" Illumi almost growled, still hesistant. "Know your place."

"Give Illumi a hug."

Baffled, Illumi's needles disappeared into thin air. The girl didn't even reach up to the tall man's thorso, rather embracing one of his legs.

She was so small and weak and fragile - and for the first time, Illumi was able to acknowledge the affection his sister felt for him.

"See?" you calmly explained, now hugging him as well. "Nanika is not evil. Only the people's wish are."

"...she's all alone" he spoke to himself, trying to at least logically understand the situation. "Just like you when I'm gone."

He didn't get it.

Hard enough to understand why you were caring so much about him, but Alluka? The sibling he always despised, insulted, abused, and locked away?

There were still so many things he didn't know yet.

"Well, if it's only the two of you, and I'm supervising..." he mumbled, kneeling down to the girl's height, "Then I guess I can promise you a few liberties."

Alluka's face and aura were back to normal, her glimmering eyes blinking happily at her brother, who was absentmindedly petting her hair.

"Great!" You clasped your hands together, disappearing in the kitchen. "Let's make a hot chocolate for you guys!"

Quickly, you reappeared to the two sitting on the sofa with an awkard distance, until you wrapped them in a blanket.

Illumi sat in middle of you two, deeply buried in thought while you and Alluka were watching TV until she fell asleep.

"I'll bring her back now" you whispered softly, but Illumi already cradled the snoring girl into his arms. "No. I will."

For a second, you were taken aback, unsure about his intentions - but you wanted to believe in him, so you stayed quiet about your apprehensions.

"She's cute, right?" you noticed as Illumi got a strand of hair out of her face. He held her with such great care and insecurity, it was a truly cute sight.

"Dunno. I know the definition of cute, but I don't think I really understand it."

"You are cute, for example." Placing a wet kiss on his cheek, you waved him goodbye as he walled out the door - but in the frame, he stopped.

"You're changing so many things at once."

"For better or worse?"

Illumi wouldn't turn around to look at you, instead watching Alluka's soundly sleeping face.

"I don't know. We'll see."

When Illumi took longer than expected, panic began to rise inside of you.

Did his parents find out? Due to your powers this should basically be impossible, but still-

"Alluka wanted me to stay and play with her" Illumi's voice appeared behind your back, making you jump a little.

So that's why he took so long.

"Was it fun?"

"I'm not a good brother" he murmured, "Not to her or any of them."

He remembered the time he got Kalluto a kimono you picked out for him, as a gift.

“You’ve changed” the boy said back then, and the confusion in his eyes made Illumi painfully aware that the child was close to become just as inhuman as he was.

And he was the one who teached his siblings to be that way.

Your husband sat on the edge of the bed, with you already laying inside. He buried his face into his hands, seemingly distressed.

Yes, it was fun. Even though he didn't know how to properly entertain a child, Alluka seemed to enjoy her brother's attention inconditionally - just like you did.

Was that love?

"You just tried to protect your family, Lumi" you cooed, massaging his tensed shoulders.

"What about yours?" he suddenly asked, turning to you with a stony expression.

"I, uh-"

"Do you miss them?" Seems like he was afraid to lose you.

You tugged on his arm until he'd finally let himself fall into the bed, and you put an arm and leg around him, effectively trapping him into your hold.

"Of course I do. But this is my home now."

"And they're nice people?" he wondered, since your parents were assassins too.

He laid his head onto your chest, trying for your heartbeat to lull him to sleep.

"They are...special. Strict but loving. I think all parents fuck up their children somehow. But I still love them."

Both of you had already closed your eyes, his cold skin feeling refreshing on your warm one.

"Then let's meet them" Illumi suggested as his hand ran across your bodyline, before he stopped himself with a tender kiss on your skin.

"I want to know what other families are like."

Only a week later, you were allowed to leave the Zoldyck estate for the first time. Wether it was because of Illumi’s curiosity or maybe that he knew you missed your family, it didn’t matter.

Two different worlds.

Your family was living in the midst of the small town, loved by the inhabitants. Being honorable head hunters who mainly killed wanted criminals and acting as protectors of the city, you had kind of a reputation.

So it was no wonder everyone you saw greeted you with great respect, yet also as if you were never gone.

That was what a real home must feel like, Illumi thought as he watched you casually talk to anyone who recognized you while both of you wandered the main street.

“They sure think highly of you” he deducted out loud, seeing how anyone was smiling and cheering at you.

“Well...” Flustered, you rubbed the back of your head as you kept on walking, “I’ve grown up in between those people. Of course they know me! That’s all.”

“Mhh” he murmured, still eyeing everyone quite suspecting. This was your first day outisde the manor, and your husband would be damned if something would happen to you.

“There it is!” Already running ahead, you pointed at the tallest building of the town - your birthplace.

“Y/N Y/L/N” a familiar voice behind you spoke, trying way too hard to keep a straight face.

Turning around, you saw all of your siblings gathered at one spot. Of course you knew they had followed you this whole time, due to your nen - but it was still a pleasant surprise. “You guys!”

Giving each one of them a wholeheartedly hug, you immediately began to chatter about all kinds of things. You haven’t seen each other for a while, and you wanted to know everything.

“Better tell me next time” Illumi abruptly cut you off, and only now you realized the needles in between his fingers. “I almost killed them.”

Oh. So he noticed them too.

Well, your family had it worse, so they just laughed it off.

“So this is your husband, huh?” They didn’t dare speak his name - the family was too infamous, and not in a positive way. it wouldn’t really gain you the good kind of attention. “I thought you’d be more...intimidating.”

All of your siblings got way too close to Illumi, aving hands in front of his face and eyeing his appearance, at least trying to make the stoic man react in any way.

“Nice to meet you!” One of your brothers offered his hand for your husband to shake, yet Illumi decided on staring him down instead.

“Pleasure is all mine” he retorted in his robotic way, sounding way too fake for anyone to buy it.

At least they were not afraid of him. Your husband was very talented in hiding his bloodlust, after all - even though it was constantly there, not even a skilled nen user would notice.

“Mother and father are awaiting you at the usual spot.” Your brother’s voice was more serious now that he had assessed the situation.

It was clear from the very first moment that they didn’t only come to greet you - their main goal was the eldest Zoldyck.

“Seems like he’s now our leader” you pondered as all of them dispersed into different directions.

Things had changed. Of course they did.

Back then, you declined your fate of becoming the clan-leader, even though it had been the centre of all your ambitions up until now.

Meeting Illumi made you question anything you expected from life.

You didn’t even know why: What would it matter if you left an assassin family just to join another one?

Even your youngest sister was different. You could feel her steady aura, meaning she had completed her training.

The situation made you both nostalgic and anxious.

“Do you regret it?” Illumi’s blank stare turned to your form, black orbs interrogating you. He knew you were meant to be a leader, yet you gave up on that dream and had laid down all your independency.

“Not really.” Shrugging, you quickly linked arms with your husband, leading him to the secret entrance of the headquarters. It was sealed with nen, just like back then.

At leas that didn’t change, and so you’d soon find yourself in the middle of the hall where you’d plan all of the operations back then.

“You’re home.” That solemn tone was fitting for your father: Hard to detect his emotions, but easy to understand. “Welcome home.”

Illumi took a few steps back, almost withdrawing into a dark corner of the room as if he wanted to disappear from this earth. He was more likely to be a mere bystander or observer than to be in social situations.

“My little angel of death!” your mother almost cried out, both incredibly happy and sorrowful. “You’ve returned to us!”

“And that handsome young man over there?” After she was done smothering your face in kisses, she directed her welcoming nature to Illumi was well. “C’mon, don’t be shy. Take a seat!”

That’s right. She’s never seen him before. He was here exactly once to propose in front of your father - god knows how he even got inside. Obviously it wasn’t really a big deal to him.

Your family was so insignificant compared to his heritage - not that it mattered to you, it was just an observation.

“When we heared your wish to bid our humble fort a visit, we were greatly honored” your father declared as all of you sat down at the great, round table. Now everyone was there: Siblings, uncles and aunts, even your grandparents and great-grandparents. “And we are glad of your safe arrival.”

Illumi didn’t really seem to be impressed, being able to silence the room with a single gesture of his hand. “Don’t go out of your way. I am here because Y/N wished to see you.”

You couldn’t help but smirk at his polite manner, even though he wasn’t very talkative. Trying to get a hold of his hand under the table, you’d spend the day just like that.

Hours just flew by as your family held a great dinner to honor ‘the happy couple’, with Illumi absorbing every little detail like a dry sponge: Daily conversations about irrelevant topics, tales about the past and especially the childhood.

He even managed to show a lopsided smile when he realized something made you particulary happy.

Yet everytime someone of your family tried to get close to you, all of you noticed how tense he became.

Of course he was very possessive, and didn’t want to share you with anyone. But it was so damn sweet that he at least tried to get himself together...

“I’ll be waiting outisde. Might give the town a visit.” Even through all of your objections, your husband was gone faster than any of you could comprehend. “Take all the time you need.”

“He’s amazing” you thought to yourself, not noticing how much you were trembling due to your excitement. Being here together with him was such a huge progress, and he was doing so damn great.

“Y/N?” Your father was the first one to take the word, clearing his throat before continuing. “Now that we’re alone...”

Of course he knew they weren’t. Illumi was supervisioning everything somehow. But they waited for so long, and needed to let it out.

It was ‘speak now or stay silent forever’.

“Tell us about life with the Zoldycks.” Your sister once again let her hand run up and down your arm, and you realized this wasn’t just loving closeness - they were searching for injuries. “Are they harsh on you?”

“His family is pretty crazy, but it’s nothing wild, really. I manage” you stated, pulling away from the touch of your siblings.

All of the eyes were on you now, dropping the act. Everything left was sympathy and...guilt?

“So...what’s your point?” You didn’t know why, but their glares made you furious somehow. Maybe because you knew what they were hinting at. “Just speak your mind.”

“Y/N, dear...” Now your mother was the one taking the initiative, squeezing your hand ever so slightly. “We’re so, so sorry! You need to understand why we did this, okay?”

“Did what?” When they didn’t respond, you repeated the question with a much weaker, almost broken voice. “Did...what?!”

“Isn’t it obvious?” your brother now spoke, almost disgusted by what he was about to say. “Giving you away to this...freak.”

“Huh?”

Your mother now clung to you, as if you were about to disappear if she was to ever let go. “There was no other choice!” she exclaimed, while your father dramatically swung his balled fist on the table. “The Zoldycks are dangerous! We knew your fate was sealed when he came asking for your hand in marriage...”

“Of course we despise that sick weirdo. Who would wish for their child to be with someone like him?!” your father continued, his explanation wrenching your heart dry. “But if we hadn’t complied, they would’ve taken you by force. You know they would’ve killed all of us. It was to protect the family, so we had to give you up! My sweet, sweet child-”

“-shut up” you whispered as you felt tears burning in your eyes.

“It’s okay, Y/N” your sister was trying to wipe them away, letting her thumb run over your cheek. “We’ve grown stong now, Y/N! You don’t need to protect us anymore, we’re-”

“You still don’t stand any chance against them.” You got up from your chair, slamming your palms on the table. “But that’s not the point!”

“What did that monster do to you?”

“Oh, he? Nothing!” you now screamed, slamming a plate to the ground to release some of the built-up tension. “In opposite to you, who abandoned their daughter to save their own skin!”

You didn’t know. How could you have missed that fact? Those people weren’t glad you married him, they just weren’t honest with you.

And they were selfish - for all they cared, they would’ve given you away to die if Illumi had been that way.

“My husband-” you choked on a sob, feeling as if the love you felt for Illumi was crushing you, keeping you from breathing freely. “He’s been here with you, wanting to understand what a normal family is like. But only now I realize this one is just as fucked up!”

“Don’t say something like tha-”

“I’m not done!” Suddenly, an outburst of your aura shook the whole room. “Illumi is a kind and confused person. He was benevolent with you, against all of his teachings. And you are talking behind his back? How cowardly of you. I thought we were a family of proud warriors!”

All of them were looking at each other, nodding in unity as they all thought the same.

“Illumi Zoldyck is probably the most dangerous of them all. Maybe not the strongest, but the most mad of them all.” You grid your teeth, almost snarling at your grandfather’s words. “Don’t fool yourself, Y/N. Love is a foreign concept for him. The word has spread across the whole continent: Even his own family, those bloodthirsty monsters fear that young man!”

“You don’t know him like I do.” Turning around, you prepared to leave - but your siblings blocked the way. “As if I’d listen to the opinions of people who gave me away just like that.”

“Listen to us, Y/N. Maybe you can free yourself. He might’ve placed a needle-”

“That’s enough.”

Your eyes widened in wonder. How did Illumi get back in without any of you noticing?

Yet here he was, and his aura had turned purple, stained with black from all the disappointment, hurt and anger he miraculously contained without breaking down.

“I think Y/N is tired and wants to leave.” His voice was as unaffected as always, yet one look of him was enough to make your siblings freeze in terror.

“You’re Y/N’s family, so I won’t kill you” your husband declared in an absentminded tone, grabbing your wrist and turning towards the exit without anyone daring an attempt to stop him. Just after he shoved you out of the door, Illumi would turn around one last time - a threatening ember sparkling in his eyes.

“But consider this a warning: Y/N belongs to me.”

“Why?” your father asked with an almost begging undertone. “Why did it have to be Y/N?”

“Because your child is important to me.”

Illumi had carried you all the way out of the town, only getting to a hold when you were at a mountain far enough away. Not that your family would follow you anyway.

After being done crying to your heart’s extend, your husband let you down in the slightly wet grass, and you were able to see the dim lights of the city far away at the horizon.

“We’ve played here very often” you sniffled, trying to get a hold of yourself. “My siblings and I.”

“Ah.”

You appreciated moments like these. Illumi was a very good listener, even though you weren’t even sure that he actually cared about what you were saying.

It just felt good to have him near when you were sad.

“I’m so terribly sorry, Lumi...they shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s okay.” No, it wasn’t You knew he tried to hard to be the best version of himself today, to try and respect boundaries and to trust people, and yet- “I am aware I’m a repulsive person.”

“Not to me.” Gently stoking his face, you could feel him rubbing his cheek on your palm in return.

“That’s enough for me.”

For a while, you just sat there, enjoying your closeness and the absence of anyone else in silence.

“So this is what family is like” Illumi cut through the nature’s sounds, “They protect you. And they only want your best.”

“They only ever thought of themselves.” You pulled your knees onto your chest, burying your face in them.

“I refuse to believe that.” Your husband wanted to pat your back, but decided against it just at the last second. “They seemed to be in great pain because of their actions. Can’t this only be because they cared about you?”

He was right, of course. The man with the heart of stone was great at knowing other people’s feelings, apparently. What an irony.

But you were too angry at that moment to listen to his rational explanation. That was only human, too.

“You know, when I was a child, my parents-”

“Please.” You wanted him to stop right there and now. “Don’t elaborate.”

Every time Illumi would complete a story about his childhood, it usually ended up with you having a crying fit. Then he was the one having to console you instead of the other way around, and it made you only feel guilty.

Of course you were happy that he’d finally open up a little, but...no. Just not now.

“You defended me” he changed the topic, quietly adding “Even though they were right...”

“That’s only natural. You’re my husband.”

Back then, you didn’t know Illumi’s intentions when he asked you to become his. But truth was, you didn’t regret it - not even for a second.

Illumi on the other hand was as overwhelmed as always.

“I was afraid you’d stay with them.” His voice sounded impassive, yet you knew him better than that. “But now-”

Listening to you passionately defending your husband’s honor was satisfying, obviously - yet knowing you broke with your family left a foul aftertaste in his mind.

No one ever stood up for him like that.

What a day.

His mind was racing, still trying to catch up with everything that had happened today: You did all of that, no - gave up so many things, just because of him.

His entire life was going one set and predetermined way, revolving around his family. Yet meeting you had changed both of your fates in a completely different direction.

And this meant he now had to learn with the consequences of actions he did out of his own, free will.

What for? And was it good or bad?

Now that he was with you, he had liberties. Choices. But freedom felt wrong and made him feel...scared? Not even he could decipher his emotions very well.

All that was clear from now on that - to a certain extend - you were free to draft your own ways - and together, it didn’t seem all that bad for him.

_____

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theperksofbeingbarbie · 4 years ago

Text

Angel of Death

Chapter 3: Living on a Prayer

Chapter One: Dead Things

Chapter Two: Death’s Desire

🚨Warnings🚨: Hospice; Terminal Cancer; Death; Assisted Suicide; Grooming - Pastor Looks at Angel in a sexual manner that makes her uncomfortable and leaves his hands on her back, hands, and face too long; Mention of Bullying; Abuse; Forced Tattooing of a Minor; Mentions of Witchcraft; Language.

Word Count: 3,708

A/N: Here is the full thing finally!! I’m so excited to have it finished so I can move on to the next chapter and working on other ideas and series. I hope it was worth the wait for those who have been waiting a while!

Do you know what hospice is, Angel?”

You were more focused on your surroundings than Pastor. The air was stiff in the small bedroom, heavy, like it was going to settle in your lungs and cause you to choke until you couldn’t get a fresh breath. There was barely enough light to see the old man that lay in the bed, or the younger woman who sat on the edge, holding his wrinkly hand as she attempted to hold back tears. The heart monitor behind the woman beeped steadily, another machine on the opposite side of the bed letting out loud sighs as if it were breathing itself through the stifling air.

“Sweetheart.” Your mother’s kind voice brought your attention back to the man squatting in front of you. You weren’t sure why he drove you and your mother an hour away from home, but you assumed you’d find out soon enough.

“Do you know what hospice is?”

You shook your head in lieu of an answer.

“Hospice is when people are too sick and the doctors know they will never get better. They’re about to pass and they try to make the person comfortable and give their family time to say goodbye.”

You glanced over to the man in the bed. He was dying, and the crying woman was saying her goodbyes. But why did Pastor bring you here?

“Mr. Newman is very ill, Angel. His daughter wants him to be able to pass on his own terms, and hopefully go right to Heaven.”

It was starting to come together in your young mind. It had been months since you stole your best friend’s soul and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t find her. Her parents stayed in Angel’s Paradise despite this, even offering you gifts for another chance to see her. You left them in front of her grave instead.

Everyone was silently afraid that she didn’t go to Heaven, but no one ever mentioned it. They all knew the direction you threw her and that damn necklace and what it was supposed to mean.

It made you sick to think about for too long.

“I want you to try, my angel. Take Mr. Newman’s soul and guide him to your Father in Heaven. You would be releasing him of so much pain. Do you want him to be in pain during his final days?”

Another silent shake of your head.

“He wants to go. His daughter wants him to go. Only you can help him pass over.”

Pastor smiled forlornly, offering his hand to you. He guided you to the bed, helping you up beside the machine that was breathing.

“Focus, my angel.”

You took a deep breath, glancing at the old man’s daughter who looked at you hopefully. You placed your hand on his chest and closed your eyes, feeling something in him start to pull. You yanked back hard, the rest of his soul separating from his body. You were the only one who could see the soul of the man gasp when he was released from his prison, the screeching of the heart monitor threatening to break your concentration.

“Do you still have a hold of him, Angel?”

A nod.

“Great! Now focus! Send him to your Father!”

The old man looked at you with a face of pure elation, looking up hopefully before you threw him upward, the soul disappearing into the ceiling.

The room fell silent and you suddenly felt empty. It was like you were stuck behind a curtain and the real world felt so far away. Mr. Newman’s daughter began to sob and the sound slowly brought you back.

“Thank you! Thank you so much!”

You just nodded, climbing back off the bed to hide in your mother’s side. Pastor took your place, praying with the woman for a moment. Her ‘amen’ was followed by a stack of cash placed in Pastor’s hand.

“Have a blessed day. Come along, Angel. Time to go home.”

------------------------------

This little act lasted a few years. Pastor received applications from all over the country, but only accepted ones from Michigan. As long as the family had a large stack of cash waiting for you, Pastor was happy to cart you all around the state to lead Lambs home. He, of course, said he was only doing it out of the kindness of his heart but the new cars, clothes, jewelry, and hot tub didn’t seem to line up with that idea in your mind; you never complained when you got the things you wanted though. You didn’t realize Pastor had new plans for you and Angel’s Paradise to take place for your birthday.

Your thirteenth birthday was in two weeks and set to be the biggest bash Angel’s Paradise had seen yet. You ran through the living quarters of the church to find your mother to share your excitement, stopping short of your mother’s door when you heard her speaking to someone.

“A tattoo?”

“It will be symbolic of the Angel she is. And maybe later, we add more. But I want to start with the wings.”

Pastor wanted to tattoo wings on you? You instinctively reached across your body to clasp your shoulder, imagining what it would look like. Imagine the pain you’ve heard about.

“One of our new residents is a tattoo artist. He will do a good job, I promise.”

Your mother didn’t respond, but you could imagine the face of uncertainty she was surely presenting.

“You know I would never hurt [Y/N]. The last thing I want is to hurt you or her.”

There was shifting on the bed followed by complete silence. You continued onto your room, wondering if your mom agreed.

------------------------------

Your curiosity was quelled a day later as you were led into a small house you had seen completed just a few weeks earlier. You gave the man a friendly smile, remembering him from his meeting with his son who died overseas. The man and Pastor shared niceties as you followed into what should have been a bedroom, but was made into a makeshift tattoo studio. Drawings and pictures covered the walls like a personalized wallpaper, a desk covered with even more pictures and paintings that looked like the spectre you summoned against the far wall. The man folded up a padded table and shoved it into the corner before pulling out a strange looking chair. You vaguely heard Pastor tell you to take off your shirt and you looked up with a mix of fear and confusion in your eyes.

“I have something you can wear to cover your front,” the man quickly interjected, pulling a thin cloth robe out of a drawer. You hesitantly took it and held onto it for dear life as the men exited the room to give you some notion of privacy. You sat on the chair and let out a huff before calling out to let them know you were ready.

“My angel,” Pastor cooed, moving a chair so he could sit in front of you as the other man finished preparing the ink. “The Lord came to me in a dream. He is so proud of the work you’re doing with His gift. Sending his Lambs back home to Him, allowing people to see their loved ones again. You’re doing so well.” He smiled, reaching forward to take your hands. You tried not to shiver from the cold feeling his touch gave you. “He showed me a ceremony we can have for those Lambs here in Angel’s Paradise. That included two raven wings on your back, and certain flowers on your chest. I don’t want to lie to you, my angel, it’s going to hurt. But think about what the Lord wants for you. Think about your mission.” He squeezed your hands and released them so the tattoo artist could lay the stencils on your skin. “Just pray through it, okay? He will help you through.”

Pastor left you before the needle touched your skin, mumbling something more about praying through the pain. The notion of doing anything to help the pain disappeared from your mind almost instantly. The man tried to talk to you in an attempt to distract you from the pain, but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond. Silent tears just streamed down your face as you mentally begged for relief from the One who wanted you to go through this. Pastor’s voice was all that you could hear, though, telling you to continue praying and that this was what He wanted. You knew he would lament about Jesus being whipped to save us from our sins, and that this was your equivalent. This pain was going to allow you to become a better shepherd for His Lambs.

You didn’t want to imagine the kind of pain you would be in if you said no to this and ran off, anyway.

The man finally stopped dragging the needles over your skin hours later, mumbling apologies as he applied bandages to your back and arms. He gave you privacy once more to get dressed and didn’t seem to mind when you used the time to finally let out a sob instead.

You began your walk home, the cold air threatening to freeze the tears on your cheeks. You didn’t stop to talk to Pastor or your mother when you entered the living quarters, just wanting to be alone as you asked the Lord once more to relieve you of this pain. Your mother came into your room anyway, trying to offer love and support, but was quickly brushed off.

If she truly cared, you wouldn’t have been left alone to endure through the process.

------------------------------

You couldn’t even enjoy your birthday like you had wanted to. It was supposed to be fun, full of laughter and light, but you just felt like a bird in a cage meant to perform tricks for treats. Adults came to you and wished you another happy year, but it was quickly followed by questions of what you were going to do for them. When could they see their loved ones, could they see them for longer periods if they brought you better gifts. The other children just stayed as far away from you as they could possibly be, standing in a circle and whispering amongst each other while looking at you with disgust.

You didn’t know what you expected from them. This was just what they did. The townsfolk had erected a little schoolhouse near the front of the town as teachers moved into Angel’s Paradise. Pastor didn’t make you go, and you couldn’t care less about the reason, you just didn’t want to go. Your peers already avoided you like a leper, not wanting to make the wrong move or say the wrong thing and end up like your friend from all those years ago. You heard their whispers of ‘freak’ and ‘Reaper’, and you happily accepted the idea of needing a different education if it meant you didn’t have to be stuck in class with people who hated you.

You were in the sanctuary of the church, doing your daily piano lessons. Your tutor was a kind woman who was the nation’s best piano player before her sister died and she became overwhelmed with grief. For a brief meeting with her sister, she took the time out to teach you all that she knew in exchange.

“Carol, I’m going to have to cut the lesson short today. You can speak with Holly at another time.”

Your piano tutor looked dejected but nodded as she gave you one last note on your playing before excusing herself. Pastor smiled down at you and took Carol’s place on the piano bench. You continued to look forward at the sheet music, focusing on the notes instead of Pastor’s eyes on you. As the years went on, it felt like they wandered further and further down, but he did that to plenty of women.

“How is your back, my angel?”

You rolled your shoulders and straightened your back. “Healed, I think.”

Pastor ran a hand over your back with a smile. “I’m glad. I think you’re ready for the next tattoo the Lord wants you to get.”

“Another one?”

“Are you questioning your Father? Angel, he has a plan for you. You have to follow it to the letter,” he snapped.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, looking down at your lap.

“That’s okay, my angel. Young ladies always have questions.” Pastor gently pushed your hair back, pushing your head just slightly so you would look at him. His gentle smile was back but it felt so empty. “Here. I drew it for you.”

You took the piece of paper that was handed to you and unfolded it to uncover the design. Your first thought was that it was beautiful. Different flowers arranged in a beautiful bouquet.

Your second thought was how painful it was going to be.

“Where?”

“On your chest.”

Your hand flew up to the collar of your shirt, your nails gently dragging along the exposed skin as you tried to imagine what it would feel like. How many nights would you cry yourself to sleep from the pain?

“Do you know what the flowers mean, my angel?” Pastor asked. He began pointing to each flower as he explained their reasoning, “The sunflower, it’s your devotion to God. The calla lily and roses represent beauty; yours as well as His Lambs. Daisies, for your innocence. The dogwood flowers represent eternal life, which is what you give to those Lambs that ask for your help. This is thistle, and it represents earthly sorrow, which is what their loved ones still feel. And laurel, to represent their memory. Do you like it, Angel?”

You nodded.

“The Lord wants us to create a ceremony for those that want help going to Him. It will allow people to say goodbye to those they love, and finally go home. I think you’re going to like it. I’m so proud of you, my angel. You’re growing into such a beautiful young woman.”

Pastor kissed your temple and hesitated for much longer than you anticipated.

“The tattoo artist will come get you in a few moments, okay? Just pray through the pain.”

------------------------------

Pray through the pain. Pray through the discomfort. Pray through the fear. So many prayers and none of them ever calmed the storm inside of you. You wondered if the woman who was being rolled down the aisle in the sanctuary was scared.

Olive was her name. She was young, much younger than anyone you had visited with Pastor. A bad bout of breast cancer that quickly took over her body that left her with a couple months to live when she should have her whole life ahead of her.

She had been in Angel’s Paradise for about a month, settling into the “visitor’s apartments” as Pastor called it, with her sister. Olive enjoyed listening to you practice the piano and often helped you with your math homework.

Olive was being pushed by her sister in a wheelchair adorned with flowers and ribbons. Residents of Angel’s Paradise fell over themselves to give her flowers or to lay hands on her from the pews, sending up prayers that she will finally be comfortable and at peace. Her sister helped her from the wheelchair to a bed that was set up on the altar, the stained glass version of you staring down at her, a silent promise it would all be over soon. Olive took the flowers she was given and laid them on her chest, smiling as Pastor began a little sermon about death and eternal life in Heaven.

Your piano tutor played a quiet processional as Pastor began a prayer, asking the Lord to guide your hand and bring his sweet Lamb home. You took a deep breath and started yet another prayer yourself, begging for peace before the large wooden doors opened. The residents gasped at the sight of you. Dressed in a flowing white gown, you looked like a true angel. The neckline covered the flowers on your chest and came up to a thick collar around your neck, leaving the back bare to show the wings you earned.

You focused on Olive’s kind face, forgetting about all the other eyes glued to you. She looked so happy, so ready to be put out of her suffering. She was silently encouraging you to do what you were put on this earth to do, to realize the Lord’s gift he blessed you with.

You suddenly didn’t feel as scared as you were, that peace you craved finally washing over you.

You stood on the opposite side of the bed so the residents could see you as well as Olive. Pastor asked for her last words and you could tell what she said was beautiful, but it didn’t feel like you heard it. That feeling of being stuck behind a curtain, a veil, began to cover you while you prepared yourself.

“I’m ready,” made it past the veil, Olive smiling up at you with a slight nod. “Take me home, [Y/N].”

The rest was a blur, hidden behind the veil that felt like it was getting heavier with each soul you sent home. Pastor took your hand and walked you out of the sanctuary, pushing you toward your room to change for the funeral.

------------------------------

You never liked funerals, but who did? Some were more fun than others, more a celebration of the person’s life and not about mourning their death. You hoped Olive’s funeral would be more like the former, but it never really mattered. You had a job to fulfill, a job the Lord gave you and you couldn’t let your Father down.

You thanked the Pastor’s wife for her help getting you into the grand black ball gown you were to wear for the actual funeral. It was a classic mourning dress, but it did have a lower neckline to feature the flowers on your chest instead of the feathers on your back.

You ran downstairs to try to find the black lace veil you were supposed to wear to cover your face, hoping you left it on Pastor’s desk from when he gave it to you. You stopped short when you heard your mother’s voice.

“Really, that much?”

“Maybe we can find a reason to go on a trip. How does Hawaii sound?”

Your mother just giggled.

“I’ll get you a little bikini…”

“Oh stop it!”

“Fine, something skimpy just for me…”

You knocked on the door and slowly pushed it open, noticing your mom smoothing out her skirt as she moved away from the desk.

“I think I left my veil,” you said cautiously.

“Oh, yes, my angel.” Pastor smiled and walked over to you, carefully pinning the veil into your hair with the utmost care. “Look at you…” Pastor lifted your chin so you would look at him, brushing his fingers against your jaw before finally letting go. “Come, my angel. It’s time to put Sister Olive’s body to rest. You did so good, my angel. The Lord is so proud of you.”

------------------------------

It had been over a week since the Hargreeves brothers had seen [Y/N] last. Klaus went by the jewelry store a few times and that bitch Lisa just angrily told him she hadn’t seen her either and then kicked him out. He went by the thrift shop, the bar, the corner store,and she was nowhere to be found. Klaus had, of course, gone by her apartment at least once a day, knocking on the door until his knuckles started to bruise.

“I’m gonna try to get through the door.”

“C’mon, Ben,” Klaus groaned, sitting against her door with a cigarette between his lips. “We both know I’m not sober enough for any ghost tricks.”

“You might not be, but I can feel her,” Ben informed Klaus, jumping up and down like he was going to run a marathon. “[Y/N] just has this… Pull. I think I can do it.”

Klaus just waved his hand. “Go for it. If you get stuck, it’s not my fault.”

Ben nodded and ran toward the door in a full sprint, his body hitting the door full force. Who knew a ghost could be in physical pain? He laid on the ground beside Klaus groaning while his brother laughed.

“Shut the fuck up!”

“I am allowed to laugh. You laugh when I fall down drunk.”

Another groan from the ghost. “Fuck you, asshole.” He sat up with a huff, staring at the door. Maybe her energy allowed him to be solid, like when she touched him? Either way, he wasn’t getting in the way he planned. “Any ideas?”

“Why am I always the idea guy?”

“Because you’re dumb enough to come up with something I can work with.”

“Maybe I can call Diego to pick the lock.”

“Can’t you pick locks?”

“Hm?”

“We all learned how to pick locks, dumbass!”

“Then why couldn’t you have suggested that sooner, Ben?!”

“I don’t know, Klaus, it’s only been over a decade since I’ve done it!”

“Will you two shut the fuck up if I let you in?!”

Klaus and Ben looked up to see [Y/N] in the doorway, looking angrier than they had ever seen her.

She didn’t wait for an answer, pushing herself off the door frame to allow the brothers inside. The apartment looked so much different than the other times they had come by. Where the records and plants were, cork boards with people’s pictures took their place. Scattered on the tables and ground were open books with bookmarks sticking out and writings in the margins. Klaus recognized some of the symbols from that one time he dated the head witch of a coven he joined for the orgies. There was a pentagram painted in the middle of the floor, surrounded by white and black candles where [Y/N] had clearly been working just moments before.

“What in the Scooby Doo is all this shit?”

[Y/N] sighed as she looked around what used to be her living room. “So I might be in some trouble.”

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confused-stars · 4 years ago

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hawksweek2020 - Day 5: Insecurities

@hawksweek2020

Pretty Bird

(or: someone just give him a hug please im begging you)

It had been eight months since the Winged Hero Hawks had made his debut. The spotlights hadn’t let up since then, and he hadn’t stopped moving.

At his first hero ranking, he’d already made the top twenty, popularity polls adding a huge bonus to the sheer number of successful rescues he’d already pulled off with seeming ease. And it was easy, to him. Saving people came as naturally as breathing after all the training he’d gone through.

Charming the masses? That was also easy. A smile that was just smug enough to make him interesting, and just warm enough to have people believe he was genuine. Words that sounded a little too blunt but were carefully picked and made the public love him for his honesty. A wink thrown in at the right time, a strategic placement of his wings in front of the cameras. All of that had been training.

This was just another one of those things, another side of hero work that he hadn’t experienced before but should have been fine with.

He should have.

So why exactly did he find himself hiding away in a storage closet?

Well.

Fuck.

Keigo pulled his wings tighter around himself and tried to count to ten under his breath. He got to seven before there was a knock on the door.

“Kid?”

Ah, shit. They knew where he was.

Of course he was already going to have to answer for running out and messing up the schedule the way he had, and he didn’t even know how long he’d been here, but he still didn’t want to be talked to.

“Go ‘way!” he called back, and his voice sounded way too shaky and not enough like his hero persona at all. “I’m fine! I just need a minute!”

A pause. “… Hawks.” The voice was softer now. He knew he’d heard it before, but his panicked mind wasn’t supplying him with anything. “Can I come in if I close the door behind me?”

Keigo furrowed his brows. Why would she do that? Wasn’t she here to drag him back out? But saying no would probably make them break down the door or something. He twisted the feather he’d kept stuck in the lock around until he felt it click open.

He straightened up where he was sitting in between a bunch of nondescript storage crates and cleaning supplies, his wings folded neatly against his back even though he just wanted to curl them around his body again.

The door opened a moment later, and Keigo could have slapped himself for not recognizing Midnight’s voice when she’d been outside the door.

She must have had a photoshoot here today, too. He vaguely remembered that this was supposed to be the place where she most often did her modelling work. She was in her hero costume, though lacking her usual accessories, and she was holding the shirt that he’d left when he’d hurried out of the studio.

He caught it when she tossed it at him and freed his wings of feathers for a moment so he could pull it on, slotting them back in place after.

“… thanks.” He flashed Midnight one of his trademark smiles, and from her furrowed brow she wasn’t buying it in the least.

Keigo wondered just how much of a persona she was putting on for her hero work, and how much of it was real. There was no way all this 18+ nonsense could be her entire personality.

Keigo thought she was fun to watch, sure, and definitely capable, but she’d always seemed very… fake to him. There were just some heroes who were so obviously playing a role, and unfortunately a lot of the female pros who were being pushed into the ‘sexy lady hero’ stereotype came across like that. Keigo was always glad he was a man, or this might have very well been his fate.

And he’d proven today that he was not cut out for that.

Midnight kicked one of the crates aside and sat down on top of it, one leg over the other, and watching him closely.

“First model shoot?” she asked, “They can be a little awkward.”

Keigo sighed and dropped his smile, shrugging a shoulder. “It’s not… I’m good at what I do.” That sounded very defensive. But he was! He was good at this! He had no problem with the posing, even though he hadn’t exactly practiced that before. It had actually been a lot of fun, in the beginning.

“I didn’t say you weren’t,” Midnight pointed out, “Just that it can be awkward. I’ve been doing this since I was your age, and don’t tell anyone, but that was a while ago.” She winked at him and Keigo huffed a laugh. “But, even for me it can get… a bit much at times.”

Keigo looked back at her with more intent this time, studying her face. Did she enjoy what she did? Well, she had picked her own brand, and she got more choice in what she did than he ever had, but she’d also picked that brand as a teenager. Playing into the R-rated hero thing got her a lot of fans, of course, and modelling contracts, and adult merch, and a ton of other things, so it had been a clever move for her career. But to constantly be seen like this? Keigo nearly shuddered at the thought.

Midnight met his eyes and smiled, a little more gentle, and Keigo remembered that she, in fact, was also a high school teacher. “Don’t look at me like that, bird boy. I love what I do. It’s normal to get overwhelmed. Happens to the best of us. Just last week, I witnessed Present Mic screaming into a pillow for almost ten whole minutes.”

Keigo pulled one of his wings across his lap and smoothed out some feathers. They’d been groomed extensively before the shoot, but he’d gone and gotten them all ruffled up again. “… is the pillow okay?” he asked after a moment.

Midnight snorted. “That’s what we keep Eraser around for.”

Would Keigo ever have any real friends among other heroes? He sure hoped so. He had never really had the opportunity to make friends.

He looked down at his wing. “… I don’t like being on camera shirtless.” And in a room full of people, too. He pulled up his shoulders a little. “I mean. I know I’m objectively hot, right? This is all… very marketable.” He gestured down at his body, and then at his face.

He'd been lucky to grow up attractive, he’d been told that many times. And yet.

“It doesn’t make sense. I just… they didn’t warn me beforehand, and so when they told me to, I just took it off and I started feeling worse.”

Letting go of his wing, he instead traced his fingers along his chest, where there weren’t even visible scars. “It’s stupid.”

“The way you feel about your body is never stupid,” Midnight said, voice surprisingly firm.

Keigo jerked his eyes up to look at her.

“It’s unreasonable. I should be fine with it. Plenty of people are gonna look at these photos, and they’re not gonna think ‘oh, look at Hawks, he’s way too skinny to be attractive’ or ‘he’s tiny, how’s he supposed to save people’ or ‘hey, doesn’t Hawks look kinda like a girl?’. That’s just me thinking that.” He waved a hand in the air vaguely and sighed, feathers fluffing up as he did so.

Midnight was still watching him. Keigo hated it. She seemed to be seeing right through him, and he himself didn’t even know what she was seeing.

“I have a feeling it won’t help any if I say I think you’re cute,” she finally said, “Because this is about you. This isn’t going to change, no matter how many crazy fans in the streets scream that they’d love to have your babies.” She paused. “Or… eggs.”

Keigo couldn’t help the surprised laugh, and he tried to give her a half-glare. “I’m pretty sure I’d have perfectly human babies, thanks.”

“I’ll believe that when you prove it,” Midnight teased, and Keigo realized she’d done that very much on purpose to distract him from his doom and gloom.

She was a pretty good hero, he decided. The best heroes had to be the ones who knew how to help other heroes, and not just civilians. “I should probably get back out there and finish the shoot, huh?” he asked, glancing at the door.

Midnight clicked her tongue. “Or you walk out there, apologize, and fly home like a good boy.” She met his eyes and winked, and Keigo blushed maybe a little bit, though he would deny that to his dying day. That was just how she was though, and her flirty nature was enough to keep him somewhat grounded and from letting his thoughts spiral again.

“… I have responsibilities,” he protested half-heartedly, though home sounded very good right now. He hadn’t been living in the apartment long, but it was his and it was safe. He didn’t have to be Hawks there.

Midnight waved a hand at him. “They must’ve gotten a bunch of pictures they can use. You’ve been here all morning, and it’s almost four now.”

That late? Oh, shit. Keigo had a patrol at six. He’d need to pick up some food on the way. But, hey, at least patrol was going to make him feel less shitty about himself. He stood up and brushed himself off. “You’re probably right, Midnight. Thanks.”

Midnight got to her feet as well, and Keigo nudged her arm with his wing.

“Kayama is fine, you know? No need to be all formal with the hero names.”

Keigo never liked when this happened. He shifted. “I prefer Hawks.”

Midnight’s gaze was too knowing, but he didn’t think that she knew the full extent of why he didn’t use his other name.

“Hawks it is, then. It’s a good hero name anyway. Very catchy.” She nodded her approval, and he smiled as he moved past her – only to be stopped by her hand wrapping around his wrist.

“Okay, I know you barely know me, but I want you to listen to me. Because you’re just a kid, and you’re taking your first steps into this mess of a professional world. Are you listening?”

Keigo nodded.

Midnight’s gaze was serious. “No one can tell you who to be, Hawks. No one can tell you what to do with who you are, either. You want to save people, you’re good at that. You clearly don’t like this aspect of it all, and that’s fine. Not everyone is born for this. Being a hero isn’t about looking sexy, or letting them treat you like a piece of meat. It’s about finding danger and facing it to keep others from getting hurt. And you’re doing that. So you can damn well decline any of these publicity engagements that have you doing things you’re uncomfortable with. They’ll tell you to just go through with it, and not make a fuss, but they’re wrong, okay? Set up your boundaries now, because you’re allowed to. Do you hear me? You’re allowed to.”

Keigo nodded again, a little dazed from her intensity. Or maybe her quirk. But she wasn’t using it right now.

Midnight let go of his wrist, and placed both hands on his shoulders. “I look forward to seeing more of what you can do. Up in the sky, not on some advertisement for a product neither of us is ever even going to use.” She raised a hand and put a finger under his chin, forcing his head up a little. “Now, don’t look like a scared little bird that’s just been a cat’s plaything for the past ten minutes. Or else there’ll be rumors about the two of us and this closet.” She laughed, and Keigo swallowed.

“Uh… yeah. Okay. Okay.” He was very off kilter now. Did she have that effect on everyone?

Midnight looked him over, and then gave a satisfied nod. “Good. Now, remember that you’re an ass kicking, whip smart, devastatingly handsome young man, and get out there.”

Keigo blinked at her, stood still for another second or so, and then turned and opened the door, his shoulders set, and the weight of his wings still heavy on his back.

He couldn’t wait to spread them again and get back to doing his actual job.

#hawksweek2020 #this is kinda vent-y in a way?#body insecurity cw #trans hawks isn't really a theme here but it's hinted at #because im *jazz hands* projecting #im also still not doing great but i didnt wanna skip two days #especially since i had the idea for this a while back #dysphoria cw #just a little

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nygmobblepot-trash · 4 years ago

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S1 of gotham.

Jesus Ed is creepy as hell. Did I just gloss over that before? Like I remember honestly being mad that Kristen didn't go for Ed earlier and treated him "badly". She tried so hard to be nice while he never left her alone. Ed i understand you struggle with people skills, but you seriously need to chill. It's one thing to be made fun of because you have to spout riddles every second, but it's another to bother your coworker after she has told you countless times she is uncomfortable.

Also speaking of Ed why didn't they just give Ed the position of medical examiner or hell make him a detective. Clearly education doesn't matter because he gets the job of ME later. He's clearly very smart and solves most of the cases for Harvey and Gordon.

I also forgot how cunning Oswald is and how hard he plays everyone is Gotham. Which of course makes his decisions in s3 that more stupid but we'll get there... heavily intoxicated though.

Honestly love the dynamic of Jim and Harvey. Someone beaten and tired from the system vs someone who can think they can make a difference and save everyone.

Fish and Butch are great too. Liza didn't deserve what happened to her.

Alfred is a huge catalyst for Bruce. He's so chaotic and I love it. You want to investigate yourself? Cool. Fuck the police. Oh and if you find the dude I'll kill him for you. Also I might as well teach you how the beat the living shit out of everyone. No pussies in this house.

Also why is Selina so god damn angry all the time. Yeah I get that Bruce has no clue about the real world but he tries. He proves himself by living on the streets with her. He also doesn't get mad when she steals his shit. He actually cares for her and has never done anything to actually hurt her. He risked himself to save her countless times. Yeah he wants to know who killed his parents but he also cares about her. He proves he isn't manipulating her. Someone please help the small child.

Honestly wtf is up with babs? Like they gave her nothing to do except be rich and want to know what Jim does at work. They only gave her a personality after they made her crazy. Well not really but thats for s2.

Lee has more of a personality but falls for Jim in like .2 seconds. Which I guess happens the real world but whatever. She of course doesn't like how Jimmy walks the line. But it's gotham and you can't get shit done without being morally gray from time to time. Actually sorry I'm going back. Can anyone name one thing Lee likes? Any hobbies she has? Harvey like to drink. Gordon is always in work mode. Ed nurses stray birds back to health. Oswald takes care of his mother. Babs goes to parties alone and worries about Jim all day. Bruce does a lot of different things. What about Lee? Fuck maybe Lee was a step back. Bab just got less screen time.

Speaking of nursing birds back to life, let's talk about the totally straight friendship of ed and Oswald. Now this is me sort of jumping ahead... if the writers didn't want the relationship why did they write them like this? Honest to whatever God you pick, what the actual fuck were they thinking? Ed literally had to pick up Oswald and take him back to his place. Sow up any wounds. Probably wash him too. AND find him clothes. Look Oswald wouldn't fit into Ed's clothes. No way. Ed is a tall boy. Thus the conclusion is he had to figure out the bird's size and buy him clothes. Then this boy goes above and beyond to not only heal this angry man's body but his heart too. Why go through all that trouble? Hell he even told Oswald about the very bad thing he did.

FUCK side tangent. Kristen did not deserve what happened to her. They were so cute together too. I do honestly wish she wouldn't have reacted that way to hearing what happened to her ex. Ed was honestly just trying to help her. I'm not saying that she would have every right to get the fuck out of there or question if that was Ed's real motive. It's ironic though. Ed killed a man because he feared he would continue to hurt her or kill her. He ended up killing her on purpose to save himself. I do wonder if he allowed Kristen to leave if she would rethink he stance and either go back to him or just not report it and stay away from Ed. It would also be interesting to see how Gordon and Harvey would react. Killing Offer dorty (idc how to spell it) could be morally gray. Anyways Ed's a jackass.

Where were we? Oh yeah. So does Ed have multiple beds? Like we know he doesn't have friends so why would he pay for a two bedroom apartment? So I have to know did Oswald force him to sleep on the floor? Remember guys they're not gay for each other or anything. They just bonded and worked though some shit together and sang a song together. Sure if it was Gordon and any chick they would've fucked immediately but thats not the point. They're friends. You know how Harvey nursed Jim back to health and helped Jim continue being a detective? Also during that period they'd gaze into each other's eyes for a painful amount of time. Not to mention the part where Harvey bathed and gave Jim new clothes. Exactly like that. What that never happened? Why, because it may imply they aren't just good buddies?

Also why wasn't Ed involved in the final fight? I'd be funny if he was back up and showed up and saved them. Or was he there in the back taking notes minding his own business?

#gotham

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amazingflyingdick · 4 years ago

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midnight sun.

WHO: Bruce Wayne @justicealwaysprevails, Dick Grayson @amazingflyingdick, Slade Wilson @terminator-deathstroke, & Josh Foley @goldenelixxir WHERE: The hospital WHEN: Backdated to July 4th, 2020 WHAT: Josh is contacted and arrives at the hospital to heal Dick’s injuries

Josh: When he’d been contacted by Bruce Wayne asking him to come to the hospital, he’d assumed that it was urgent, that there’d been some accident, an emergency that needed his attention immediately. It was dangerous for him to leave District X and cross town. He was a known offender, had already been arrested, and NOVA grew bolder by the day with their methods. He went anyway. Of course he did. Dick was one of his oldest friends in the city and one of the few that Josh offered any kind of real honesty to. So much of his existence was focused on other people that there were few opportunities to just be Josh Foley. Dick offered him that. Of course he was going to help.

He had a hoodie on and a beanie beneath it when he arrived. In an effort to attract as little attention as possible, he kept his head down until he got to the room number Bruce had given him. It was a normal room. Not emergency. Not ICU. That already had him frowning as he opened the door and pulled his hood back. Bruce: The last few days were spent on very little sleep. Bruce was no metahuman, but he had an indomitable will and he had trouble acknowledging his own limitations. And regardless of everything he knew to be true, what he'd known for years, he wasn't leaving Dick alone with Slade Wilson. Not for long, anyway. Once they stretched into day 3 in their silent standoff, without Slade showing any signs of leaving, Bruce began to consider more realistic options. He did leave here and there to speak with doctors. A few times he fell asleep in his chair, unaware that he'd done so at all until he checked the time and realized hours had passed in what felt like minutes.

Jason's text completely sent him off balance. Panic and subsequent lack of sleep were the only excuses he had for not recalling an obvious solution. He wasted no time getting in contact with him, without offering too many details, because he didn't want Dick to suffer any longer than he had to, when it was completely unnecessary.

His expression was somber when Josh entered the room. The guilt and exhaustion were more than evident in his heavy tone as he offered a succinct explanation. "He was shot in the head four days ago and in a coma nearly as long. They brought him out of it this morning, but he's only been fully cognizant for a few hours." Slade: Slade had to be forced out of the hospital room. He hadn’t moved for four days, hadn’t eaten or slept, barely drunk anything, and really just refused to leave Dick’s side until he was sure he was waking up. Now that he was up, Dick had pushed him to go and grab a nap, a shower, and dinner. He hadn’t thought much of any of it until he realized how much he had been exerting himself.

Now, in a fresh outfit, clean and newly shaved, Slade returned to the hospital bed and there was some... fucking gold guy standing there. What the hell was going on? He had had his whole home set up to care for Dick, to bring him back to rehabilitate him.

He looked between Wayne and King Midas over there before moving to his spot at Dick’s side. “Hey, little bird,” he greeted, face softening only for Dick. Dick: Dick was sleeping less, but that didn't mean he was fully awake. Sometimes he just drifted in a strange state in between, aware of the people around him even though he didn't actively participate in conversations. He didn't realize Josh was in the room until he heard Bruce speaking to someone. Cracking his eyes open, he exhaled softly. "It's weird when you talk about me like I'm not here, B." The sentence was coherent even though the words were slightly slurred. He blinked when he saw Josh in a beanie, as if he weren't sure if he were actually there. "Josh...? You look like you're about to rob a 711..."

Slade's reappearance distracted him and Dick watched him sleepily, too out of it to be burdened by the fact that Bruce was present. He didn't have the focus to guard his feelings or the tender familiarity. "Hey... you showered." Josh: Four days. Had he really just said four days? Dick had been shot over half a week earlier and nobody had thought to tell him until right then? Josh knew from first hand experience what that was like. He knew exactly what it felt like to take a bullet to the skull. The fact that Dick had survived it at all was a damned miracle, but then he’d just been left to...what? Human medicine? “I could have helped him,” he said in a low voice, not even trying to hide his irritation. “You pay for my clinic. I treated your other son.” There was no go back in time button. It was done. Dick was alive and he could fix the rest. It just made his skin crawl that he’d been left to just suffer through it when there was an alternative.

Josh glanced away from Bruce only when Dick spoke. “You caught me. I figured I’d steal a Slurpee on my way back home.”

The train of thought was interrupted yet again by the appearance of...whoever the hell that was. Obviously someone very familiar with Dick. He caught that name, Little Bird, and the easy way Dick responded to him. It was Josh’s turn to be confused, maybe irritated a little further. Was this the mystery ex in town? If so, it was so far from the image that Josh had conjured up that it would have been funny if the whole situation was something else.

“I need space if I’m finally going to get to help.” What he had to do wasn’t as simple as knitting skin back together or curing infection. Bruce: "I know." There was nothing else to say. Bruce wasn't going to make excuses when there weren't any that would justify his lack of action. The truth was the truth, but it didn't do any of them a bit of good now. What mattered was that Dick was alive and Josh was here to cut his long recovery time short. It was something Bruce dreaded hearing the doctors talk about. He already expected that Dick wouldn't be returning to the manor; the thought of Slade having complete control over his well being would have made it difficult to sleep at night.

Motioning for Slade to move back, he was wise enough to provide an explanation for Josh's sake. He didn't want a tense back and forth if he could help it. After so many hours of sitting in that hospital room with Slade, Bruce had seen how tense he got even when the nurses were doing something as routine as checking vitals. They might appear to have made an uneasy truce, but the reality was that Bruce had been left with few options. "He can heal him." Slade: Slade stared at the golden fairy man in his hat, somehow incensed that he hadn’t been called. Who the fuck even was he? “Am I missing something?” He growled to Wayne. Why should they have called him? And if Bruce had this kid on retainer, why hadn’t they?

He didn’t move. He’d need a little more than ‘he can heal him’. “How?”

Slade looked to Dick. Wayne barely spoke half the time, as if monosyllabic answers and grunts were all he needed for conversation. Dick: Even though his eyes felt heavy, Dick kept them open. He could feel the tension between the three of them and he didn't like it. "It's okay..." he murmured softly, his hand moving from its position on the railing and brushing the back of Slade's arm. "He runs the clinic. Mutant clinic. I trust him." Those words might not say a lot considering the type of people Dick willingly put his trust in, but he knew Josh was here to help. The thought filled him with relief. "He's helped me before." Not with an injury like this, but he didn't imagine it would be much different this time around. Josh: “I’m a mutant. In case you thought the gold skin was an elaborate costume I didn’t finish.” He had about a dozen different questions right then, and high on the list was why Dick needed to reassure a man that Josh had never laid eyes on that it was okay to let him heal the hole in his head. “I’m biokinetic, and nobody here can help Dick like I can. I’d really like for you to move, whoever you are.” Bruce: There was a stiffness in Bruce's jaw as he watched the interaction between Josh and Slade, but he was on edge and ready to step in, if necessary, although he'd rather avoid an altercation. "His clinic is partially funded by Wayne Enterprises. He has assisted us in the past. He’s been friends with Dick for several years." It put the situation in some perspective, at least. Slade: Slade narrowed his eyes. “Forgive me for not assuming you were a mutant. In case you haven’t noticed, there are several different types of people here that could look like you.” He moved only because Dick said he trusted him, even if Slade didn’t. Instead, he rounded on Bruce. “So you mean to tell me that there’s been someone the whole time that could what? Wave a magic wand and fix Dick? And I’m only just now hearing about him? Aren’t you supposed to be a genius?”

Dick: Dick sighed softly, his hand falling back against the railing. This time he couldn't keep his eyes from slipping closed, and his heart rate went up even though he kept his tone light, trying to ease the agitation in the room. "I didn't think of it either." He'd also been in and out of consciousness for the past few hours, but still. It was difficult to be angry at Bruce - or at anyone, especially knowing how stressed they'd been. "It's okay now." Josh: His eyes moved immediately to the monitor, watching the numbers change. “Get away from the bed,” he said with no further preamble. In his actual clinic with his actual patients, he had a good bedside manner. Dick had been put through unnecessary surgery, been kept unconscious for days, and was still barely coherent even as he was talking to them. It was not the time to try to navigate personal relationships. “Neither of you can help him right now.”

Josh took a step closer and laid his hand against Dick’s forehead. “Dick...I won’t lie. This is going to hurt.” He normally warned about discomfort, but typically it was minor. In this particular case, Josh knew exactly what it was going to feel like. He’d lived through it himself. Dick had painkillers on his side, at least, and that might dull the worst of it. “I’ll take care of you.” Bruce: Bruce was outwardly calm, not showing any emotion as Slade rounded on him, but he knew there was very little he could say in his own defense. The truth was that they had all been too shell-shocked to do anything but go through the motions. Dick's survival hadn't been a certainty and even now he wasn't at ease. It still wasn't excusable. Slade's anger wasn't even close to how angry Bruce was at himself. "The oversight is reprehensible, even if unintentional." Slade: Slade ought to kill the other man right then and there. He wasn't sure who the mutant was talking to when he said to get away, as Slade had already moved, but he ignored him for a moment to fix Wayne with a look of death. Perhaps Slade was being unfair if only because Bruce was only human. His distraction was to be expected. Regardless, he was still considering homicide right here in the hospital room. The only reason he didn't was because of what was going on next to them.

His attention shifted to Dick and he stood, tense. I'll take care of you. That... didn't sit right with Slade. Perhaps it was because of how often he had said the very same to Dick. Or perhaps it was because of how badly he wanted to do it. His jaw visibly clenched, but he kept quiet.

Dick: The touch made his brow furrow, but the bullet had gone in near Dick's eye and was nowhere near his forehead. It was just that no one had dared touch his head since the entire thing happened. Slade had gone as far to touch his hair and even then he'd been careful about it. "Can't hurt more than this, right?" He wasn't afraid of pain.

"He's the one I told you about." Granted, when he'd told Josh about Slade it was before everything started back up again and the break up with Tanya had been fresh. Painful. Dick hadn't been in the best mood that night and when he talked about everything it'd been with resentment. "Sorry for being such a jerk." Josh: “Maybe,” Josh ventured. It had to be done either way. Dick had been a vigilante for most of his life, it wasn’t like he was a stranger to something hurting. Josh had faith he’d grit his teeth and deal with it. Still, he hadn’t wanted to catch him completely off guard. He was forcing something to happen in minutes that would have taken months, or never even happened fully at all.

Josh glanced back over his shoulder toward...Slade, apparently, was the name. Dick had mentioned him, though with very little detail, and there was no way Josh would have turned that conversation into a picture of the giant man in an eyepatch. He didn’t really care, though. Dick’s tastes were apparently all over the place, and right then none of it was his concern. “It happens. You can apologize to me when you don’t have a hole in your head anymore.”

He kept one hand lightly against his forehead and laid the other one against Dick’s hand on the bed. He went quiet, focusing all his energy on what he had to do. It was complex, regrowing and repairing bone and brain matter. Complex and exhausting. He kept his eyes closed as he worked, dealing with the bone first. That was the more painful part, and it was the most consuming for him, too. When he’d had to deal with it himself, it had felt like a hammer to his skull, the worst headache It was possible to have. Then again, he’d not “lived” through the gunshot wound.

It was not a fast process. Tissue damage could be quick, but that wasn’t what they were dealing with. It dragged on for several minutes as Josh moved his attention from the bone regrowth to repairing the more internal damage. Golden, warm light grew brighter in the spaces beneath his hands. Bruce: There was no getting around the massive mistake made in not bringing Josh in sooner. Bruce knew he might be able to reverse the damage, but it still meant Dick had been suffering unnecessarily for days. The fact that Josh said it would hurt was also reason for concern. It made him wonder if it would have been less painful had he intervened before now.

Silent, he went to stand at the foot of Dick's bed so he was far enough out of the way, but still able to see what was happening. He didn't know if the machines might alert the nurses, but he was watching the door in his peripheral vision just in case he would have to intercept them. It was risky for Josh to have come here. He didn't want NOVA to be tipped off and be waiting outside the hospital doors. Slade: Slade wordlessly watched the three men, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms to keep from reflexively breaking this guy's arms for touching Dick. Who knew he had jealousy issues. Perhaps Dick just brought it out of him, or perhaps it was just because of the tension of the situation. He hadn't missed the little exchange between Dick and the other. The one he had told him about? So this was a friend of Dick's?

Uninterested in the mysticism of it, Slade pulled his phone from his pocket to send a brief series of texts to Wintergreen telling him to remove every single precaution he had had set up in his home to rehabilitate and care for Dick. The medical devices, any equipment, and certainly the ice cream and other sweets were to be taken out. He wasn't to know that Slade had gone to any lengths. He could just imagine that Dick would feel guilty about it. Like an idiot. The silly films were also to be sent out. If Dick still came home with him--though why he would when he had his own place and wouldn't need any help from Slade had Slade thinking he'd head home alone--it would be like it was the last time he was there.

Dick: The blinding pain hit him before Dick could even respond. It wasn't what he expected at all. Josh had healed smaller wounds on him before. The process never took longer than a few seconds, and it always felt strange, but there was never any pain involved. It doubled the headache he'd consistently had upon waking and he sucked air through his teeth sharply. The effort not to make any noise while Josh worked was substantial. Instead he focused on his breathing, resisting the urge to hold it, but as the seconds passed and the pain continued it became more and more difficult.

He didn't let himself speak. There was no way he'd be able to get the words out right now without giving away how much pain he was in, as if the way he white-knuckled the railing of the bed wasn't indicative enough, or that his eyes were closed so tightly that the tears were partly from strain. Josh: Josh couldn’t let himself focus on the pain. He could ease it when they were through with the rest. Once it was over then it was over, at least in that respect. He remembered being disoriented for awhile and thought it would probably be the same for Dick, but he could help with the hurt. It took a few more minutes. By the time he was finished, the only thing left was for Dick’s body to reorient to being whole again. Josh used a few more seconds to urge the release of various neurotransmitters and chemicals to diminish any lingering pain. He couldn’t do anything for the fogginess or disorientation, but he knew it would pass.

He dropped his hand away from Dick’s forehead but kept the other one where it was. “I can help you sleep for a few hours,” he offered. “It’ll feel better when you wake back up .” Bruce: Bruce watched the entire process closely, his eyes narrowing, but he stayed where he was, his arms tightly folded over his chest. Although he was well aware of Josh's capabilities, he'd never seen him work until now. He didn't know what it was like to heal complex injuries. Situational examples weren't always readily available. If there were any lingering effects or abnormalities, then he wanted to know about them. Now wasn't the time to ask, however. He didn't say a word, although he did manage to relax somewhat when Josh spoke again and he realized it was over, finally, although there was a dull ache left in his jaw. Slade: Slade knew the moment that Dick was in pain, almost like that pain was his own. He knew the tense of Dick's jaw, the tears in his eyes, the white of his knuckles. And he certainly knew that the other was putting on a show of strength for Bruce and probably for him, trying to ensure, as always, that they didn't worry. Slade always did worry, however, even if he wouldn't let it be known. He had believed for years that Dick was competent, however, even if he could sometimes be an idiot.

When it faded, Slade also noted how the healer kept Dick's hand. There was a niggling at the back of his mind as he remembered what Dick had said about previous partners. Was he simply being paranoid? He felt that flash of jealousy again and he suddenly wanted Golden Fairy Boy away from his little bird. Not that he spoke. Slade kept his face completely impassive. If he was right, then Slade couldn't help how he felt about it. If he was wrong, Dick would tell him. For now, though, he forced his arms to uncross. "I'll be here when you wake up, kid," he said to Dick, reaching out to flick the dark hair off his forehead where it had plastered there from the perspiration that came from hiding his pain. "Promise I won't change appearance again." Dick: The pain faded away so quickly that Dick was left dizzy, disoriented, and he kept his eyes closed for another second as he struggled to concentrate on the world around him. While he'd been in a coma he'd been aware, on some level, of what was going on in the room. Sounds and voices worked their way into his subconscious and in the strange, saga-like dreams he'd had. It was easy for him to focus on those things now, even through the incessant beeping of the machines.

His eyes opened when Josh offered to put him to sleep and he shook his head quickly. "No, I don't want to sleep." There was a slightly panicked edge to his voice. He'd slept for days the last time he felt like this, like he couldn't see or hear anything with complete clarity, and his fingers dug into the side of Josh's hand.

Slade's voice made his gaze lift and he struggled to find him in the room. He didn't have his metagene or enhanced senses, so when he felt his hand touch his hair he quickly released the railing and reached to catch it. "I don't want to sleep," he said again, more desperately. Josh: “Alright, alright. No sleep. That’s stupid,” he said, not sugar-coating it, but he wasn’t going to do it against his will. If he wanted to be awake, he could be awake. “But you can be stupid, I guess. It’ll go away soon.” He returned that squeeze when he felt it.

He glanced over to Bruce. “Someone is going to have to move him out of here AMA or they’re going to be asking a bunch of questions about what happened. I don’t want NOVA to have a reason to come looking for me again.” Especially not in District X, which so far had seemed untouchable but Josh knew better than to actually believe that was true.

He was silent for a few seconds, feeling his own personal brand of exhaustion, but decided to make a second offer. “How long has it been since either of you slept?” He looked from Bruce to Slade and back. “My guess is four days. I can help.” Bruce: Dick's refusal made Bruce frown, but he didn't try to reason with him. He knew better than to think it would make any difference. "I will have him released into my custody." It wasn't just his wealth and influence that would make it possible, but he had personal physicians that tended to Dick and the others from the second they stepped foot in the manor. The hospital could at least rest easy knowing medical professionals still had access to him, even though it would hardly be necessary. "You will have to keep a low profile, Dick," he said reasonably, but his gaze was on Slade as he spoke. "No patrol. Minimal public appearances." It wasn't just to keep his recovery under wraps. If NOVA had him in their sights, it was a reasonable belief that a second attempt might be made.

Bruce looked at Josh, hesitating, but he'd read enough about his abilities to know healing extensive damage took its toll. "Thank you, but I know this demanded a great deal from you. It isn't necessary." Slade: Slade narrowed his eyes. "I can take care of him," he said, just a little bit pointed. Had Slade known this guy was an option, he would have called him in. More than once, he had considered reaching out to the people who had healed him when Possum had popped a cap in his own head. However, he wasn't sure the deaging process would go too well for Dick, and an 18 year old Grayson meant that it would look even more suspect with him and Dick together. Not that Slade gave a shit. He just didn't think it was a viable option and he also didn't know where they were even headquartered anymore.

He looked at the other man before shaking his head. "Trust me when I say I can go weeks without it." He had before. "Barely affects my body." Because Goldfinger wasn't the only one with powers in this room, even if Slade's healing factor couldn't help Dick this way. "I'll sleep when he's safe and stable at my house." Dick: Bruce's instructions had Dick sighing, but he nodded, unwilling to argue even though he wasn't about to sit on the sidelines at a time like this. They were all needed in the fight against NOVA. He wasn't going to hide when he was perfectly capable of helping. This had been a fluke. He hadn't been on guard. That wasn't a mistake he'd make twice. "I got it, B." His eyes were closed again, or he wouldn't have mixed the pointed looks. Even if Bruce were the one to orchestrate his release from the hospital, Dick wasn't going to the manor.

Even though he'd turned down Josh's offer to put him to sleep, he was out of it enough to nearly drift there on his own. He kept pulling himself back, directing his question to Slade. "When can I get out of here? Want you to sleep." Josh: Josh felt a prickle of heat and irritation run through him for a whole collection of different reasons. Everyone in that room was being purposefully dense, posturing at each other for no reason. “I don’t know who you think you are,” he immediately cut in on Slade, “but nobody took care of him. And he is safe and stable. Now.” Once somebody, and he wasn’t even sure who, finally remembered that he existed and Bruce made the call.

He let go of Dick’s hand and stood up straight. “Someone take him out of the hospital. He needs to rest for a day and everything should go back to normal.” He turned to Dick, who should’ve just listened to him and let him speed that along. “Do you understand? You have to rest. I just regrew part of your brain and it has to recognize that it’s all there again. Don’t make it harder on yourself.”

“Are we clear?” That was for both Bruce and Slade, who he rounded on to face one at a time. “Don’t make it harder on him.” Bruce: Bruce still hadn't moved from the foot of the bed. As Josh spoke he was silent, but it wasn't a point he could argue with any success and, what's more, he had little desire to. The long days and nights in the hospital had taken a toll on him. He'd caught a few stray hours of sleep here and there, but he knew it was wearing on him in other ways.

Nodding, he approached Josh with a frown, his tone quiet and sincere despite his own lingering doubts. "Understood. Thank you." Slade: Slade wasn’t intimidated by this little whelp. And he was telling Slade that he hadn’t cared for him. How, was he supposed to have ‘taken care’ of him, then? This fucker knew nothing about him and, for one moment, Slade had half a mind to knock his teeth down his throat. He didn’t, for Dick’s sake, but he ignored him entirely to move back to his spot beside the other.

“Looks like you’re better much sooner than we thought,” he murmured as he catch the other’s hand. “How about Alaska? We can tell them you’re recovering.” Dick: Josh's anger was clear, which surprised Dick even through the distant haze that clouded his mind and perception. He'd seen Josh angry before, although it had been just once, and it took him a second to understood what he'd said to him.

"I understand," he finally managed, cracking his eyes open so he the words might come off a little more convincing. "Thanks, Josh..." Dick didn't want to make it harder than it had to be, not when both Slade and Bruce had lost days of sleep watching over him.

His fingers quickly closed around Slade's hand. Any tension he'd been carrying from the minutes of pain faded and he was shocked by how easy it was to turn his head and press his cheek into the pillow. That small movement no longer sent a wave of excruciating agony through his head and neck. "Yeah," he breathed, not caring that Bruce heard. Dick wasn't sure just how serious Slade was being, anyway, but it was a pleasant thought. "Sounds nice." Josh: He considered offering to stay, and he still had questions he wanted answered, but every minute he stayed there increased the chance of one of the hospital staff coming in to check vitals or take readings. Besides, his job was done. Dick would be fine, once the brain fog dissipated.

“Maybe I’ll see you when you get back from Alaska then.” And he might have to seriously question his taste in people at that point, but until then he kept that thought to himself.

With a small shake of his head, he turned away from the bed to walk past Bruce toward the door. “Call me if anything else happens.” Bruce: Dick laying low was one thing, but leaving the state was another. Bruce tensed, but he didn't say anything. There was nothing he could say right now, nothing that would make a difference, and he wasn't going to upset Dick immediately after agreeing to make things easier for him.

Instead, he nodded, agreeing to Josh's request, but waited some seconds after Josh left the room before following. He still had to contact everyone and let them know of Dick's recovery. And as it stood, Bruce would much rather do that outside of Dick's hospital room. Slade: Slade didn’t much care what either of them thought of him taking Dick to Alaska. He had been shot in the head. He deserved to take a week off. If he wanted to. They would go before the plan with the NOVA went off. It was what needed to be done, but Dick had been raised by Bruce Wayne. It was possible he wouldn’t want it even if it needed to be. And that meant that maybe Dick would see the reality of what it meant to be loved by Slade Wilson. And perhaps he wouldn’t want it.

“Whenever you want, little bird. Just give the word.”

#c: discord #bruce wayne #dick grayson #slade wilson #josh foley #slade/dick

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wakandaforeverwrites · 6 years ago

Text

Mad Love || Chapter 1

Tag List: @ayellepea @chaneajoyyy

Synopsis: When Trinity agreed to help her best friend plan her wedding and be her maid of honor, she had no idea what she was getting herself into. The man who swept Alisha off of her feet is an actual king who worships the ground she walks on. The country is richer than Trinity could have ever imagined. The whole thing is like a fairy tale and she couldn’t be happier for her best friend. There’s just one problem. The groom’s cousin is an asshole and Trinity wouldn’t spit in his direction if he was on fire, but he’s an asshole who just happens to be the best man.

A/N: I did as much editing as I could do so I apologize for any typos or random switches between past and present tense. I tried to catch them all.

Trinity loved her best friend, Alisha, she really did but she was so damn stupid. Who the hell really got engaged when they were in the middle of their residency? Alisha, that’s who. She came bursting through the front door of their once shared apartment one day after having been gone for a year with tears in her large eyes and the first thing Trinity thought was that was going to have to kill a man, but the sparkling diamond on her left hand had her thinking she was going to have to kill her best friend.

Trinity had never even met the man. She only knew him by name. T’Challa. Alisha had met him while she studied abroad in her last year of medical school . Trinity had thought nothing of it until Alisha disappeared sometime after graduation, citing that T’Challa had lost his father and she needed to be there for him, and what was supposed to have been a week long trip turned into a year long trip that she returned from with an astonishing rock weighing down her hand.

That was a week ago and Trinity was still reeling from the bombshell. Despite her disapproval, Trinity still agreed to be the maid of honor because this was still like her sister and she loved her to death.

“So, T’Challa and I have been talking and we think it would be a good idea to have the wedding in Wakanda.” Alisha looked up from one of the many bridal magazines laid out in front of her. “All of his family is there and it would be a sign of good faith as their new queen if we allowed the country to be there.”

Apparently the man was a king but Trinity had her doubts. The whole thing sounded like a scam, but Alisha was just so happy and she didn’t want to rain on her parade. “And what about your family that lives here? Are you really going to make your family travel to Africa for this?”

“Why not? My mom’s been wanting to see Africa for years so she can kill two birds with one stone.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“Pretty sure your mom wanted to visit Egypt and not some tiny ass country that no one’s ever even heard of.” Trinity shook her head, realizing how negative she sounded about the whole. She really didn’t mean to and she was trying to get the bitter tone to her voice under control.

“Just because you haven’t heard of it doesn’t mean there aren’t other people who have.” Alisha glared at her and she held her hands up in mock surrender. “You should come with me. I have a meeting with the elders next week. You can see the tiny ass country. It’s beautiful, trust me. And it’ll give you a chance to finally meet T’Challa.”

“You’re leaving already? You just got back.”

“Yeah. I really only came back cause I wanted to tell you about everything and ask you to be in the wedding face to face. Plus, I needed to see my mom since it’s been forever.” She placed a sticky note on a page that she wanted to keep track of. The magazine in her lap was riddled with the multi colored tabs.

Trinity looked at Alisha and she couldn’t help but smile a little to herself. She seemed different, like an entirely new person from the one that Trinity had known since they were younger. She looked happier with the glow of a woman who was being treated right. She walked with more confidence and held her head higher. She sighed and it was in that moment that she decided she wasn’t going to ruin this time for Alisha.

“How long so you need me to stay?”

“I was thinking until after the wedding.” At Alisha’s words, Trinity had laugh.

“And that’s how I know you’ve lost your mind. The longest I can stay is a week and even that’s pushing it.”

“Oh, come on, Trin. It’s not like you have all that much to come back to. No offense.” She offered a small smile when Trinity raised her brows.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” It was hard not to take offense when the words were offensive.

“You ain’t got no man.” She blurted out the words before wincing because Trinity punched her in the arm.

“Bitch, fuck you. Not every nigga is gonna end up being a prince.” She rolled her eyes, mostly because she hated that she was right.

“King.” Alisha corrected and the proud look that crossed her face made Trinity smile a little. She had the look of a woman in love. “All jokes aside, I need your input on this. You know there’s no one I trust more to help me out with this.”

Trinity let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Alright fine. I can get Nell to run the shop while I’m gone but if she burns my shit down, I’m killing both her and you.” She rolled her eyes when she was pulled into a bone crushing hug. “I really hate when you play the trust card.”

“And yet it still works after all these years.” She pulled back with a mischievous smile on her face. “This means you’re making my cake too right?”

“You think I’m gonna let someone else make your wedding cake? The fuck you think this is?” The two of them had talked about that and agreed years ago that Trinity would be the one to make Alisha’s wedding cake, the same way Alisha had agreed to make Trinity’s wedding gown.

“Perfect! So I was thinking we could leave on Monday so you have time to get things ready before you go,” Trinity nodded her head. That was plenty of time to get things in order. “And girl, just wait till you see T’s cousin. He’s just your type too.”

“I’m good, love. Enjoy. The last time you said someone was my type, the nigga kept his teeth in a jar by his bed.” Trinity shuddered at the memory.

“I will admit that I misjudged that situation, but I’m definitely not wrong this time. I think you’re gonna like him. Plus he’s the best man, so you’re gonna have to spend time with him.”

“Is that why you asked me? To try and set me up with this man?” Trinity glared at her.

“I asked you cause you’re family and I couldn’t think of anyone better to ask. This is just a fun little bonus.”

The thing was that what Alisha thought was a fun little bonus sounded like a complete set up to Trinity.

••••••

When Alisha said they would be flying to Wakanda, Trinity never once thought it would be in what looked like a damn space ship. She wanted to ask just who the hell this man was, but she wasn’t sure that she truly wanted to know the answer.

“Am I supposed to bow when I meet them?” Trinity had no idea how to conduct herself.

“Yeah, don’t do that. Shuri will roast you the entire time you’re here and I’mma let her too.

That was the only thing that Trinity asked until they landed. She had fallen asleep somewhere between Florida and the Atlantic Ocean. There was something about the faint hum of the machine that had the ability to lull her into a sleep until they were on solid ground again. Trinity had no idea what she expected to see when the door extended down, but she was still in awe at what she saw. The large, dark buildings. The intricate designs. The sprawling mountains in the background. Her eyes couldn’t stay on one thing long enough as she tried to take everything in.

It wasn’t until Alisha was pushing her forward, that her eyes finally landed on a man standing just a few feet in front of them. He was flanked by two women with shaved, tattooed heads and spears that looked so large and sharp that they struck fear into Trinity. It certainly didn’t help that their eyes seemed to follow her every move with cold focus.

“Ikumkani wam.” His eyes were trained on Alisha, greeting her in a language that Trinity had never heard before. “I have missed you.” His hands cupped her face with his thumbs caressing her cheeks.

“I was only gone for two weeks.” Alisha looked at the man liked he had just informed her he had the cure for cancer. Trinity swore she saw stars in her eyes.

“That is two weeks too long, my love.”

The air shifted between the two of them and for a moment, it seemed like they were going to jump each other right then and there, and suddenly Trinity felt as though she was intruding on an intimate moment, but she cleared her throat anyway. The two broke apparently with Alisha looking a little embarrassed.

“Okay, Trinity, this is T’Challa. T’Challa, this is my best friend, Trinity.” Alisha looked between the two of them with a hopeful smile on her lips.

“It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Trinity. Alisha speaks highly of you.” When he smiled, it was easy to see why Alisha was so enamored with him. That smile was a lethal weapon all its own. “Please make yourself at home during your stay, and do let me know if there’s anything I can do to make your visit more comfortable.”

Trinity couldn’t stop smiling even if she wanted to. There was just no way this man was real. “Thank you, and it’s nice to finally put a face to the name I’ve been hearing non stop since you two met.”

“Where are Shuri and Queen Mother?” Alisha pulled T’Challa’s attention back to her and Trinity was all too glad to have those piercing eyes anywhere but on her.

“Mother is over seeing things for dinner tonight and Shuri is unable to pull herself away from her latest invention at the moment but she will be in attendance for dinner.”

“And your cousin?” The question was cause for Trinity to pinch her arm, making her yell and rub at the wounded area. “What?” All Trinity could do was glare in response.

“I believe there is something that I am missing.” His eyes darted between the two women suspiciously. “What are you up to?” His eyes finally settled on Alisha.

“Nothing. I just wanted to be sure everyone would be at dinner tonight. I’m excited for Trinity to meet them.” She shrugged her shoulders before grabbing Trinity by the arm. “Ayo, can you show us where Trinity will be sleeping.”

The woman nodded her head, making an X with her arms towards T’Challa and the other woman before walking away so Alisha and Trinity had no choice but to follow. Trinity could only assume that meant something, but she just had no idea what.

“Wait. What about my bags?” Trinity only realized she didn’t have them when they were walking into the larger building.

“They will be taken care of.” The bald woman responded in an accented voice, and for some reason, Trinity felt like she could trust her words.

The room they had her set up in was bigger than her entire apartment back home, or at least it felt that way. The walls were painted a pale grey color. There was a large bed in the middle of the room, placed on a platform with what looked like a waterfall behind it that had Trinity in awe. She had to admit that even though she wasn’t the last bit tired, but the soft looking duvet was calling to her, as well as the massive pile of pillows. There was a frosted glass panel that went clear as she walked by it, sliding off the right and revealing a large bathroom behind it. There was a large couch pushed against one wall, and two armchairs on either side. The walls were decorated in abstract paintings that probably cost more for just one than Trinity had in her savings account. This room was something out of a luxury magazine.

“Just how rich in this family?”

Alisha laughed and shook her head. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. So I have a meeting with the elders and knowing them it’ll take a while so I probably won’t see you until dinner.” She pulled beads out of her pocket. “You’ll need this.” The beads wrapped around Trinity’s wrist to create a bracelet. “You mostly need to know what this one does. It’ll help you communicate with anyone.” Trinity was going to comment that all the beads looked exactly the same in her eyes but the beeping and lighting up of Alisha’s own bracelet cut her off. “Shit. I gotta go. I’ll see you at dinner. Ayo will come get you when it's time. It should be around 8 or so.” And with that, Alisha was rushing out the door with Ayo and leaving Trinity alone in the room.

••••••

Trinity’s bags were dropped off just in time for her to get ready for dinner. She wanted to make a good first impression on T’Challa’s family because she was direct reflection of Alisha, and she didn’t want to ruin this for her. She settled on a simple black dress that was the least revealing thing she had packed. She made sure her makeup was natural so that her blood red lips would be the focus. She was placing the final touches on her cropped hair when there was a firm knock on the door.

“Follow me.” That was all she offered by way of greeting before she was walking down the hallway with the expectation that Trinity would follow.

The place was like a maze and it wasn’t for her following Ayo, Trinity definitely would have gotten lost trying to find her way towards the room where they were supposed to be having dinner. She would probably get lost on the way back to her bedroom. By the time she entered the room, it seemed as though everyone was waiting for her. The subtle hum of conversation stopped and all eyes were on her. The table only has two empty seats left, one of them being between Alisha and a younger looking woman. It seemed like a less intimidating spot to sit than next to the woman who was sitting at the head of of the table.

“I apologize for being late.” Trinity offered a smile as she sat down.

“No need to apologize. We’re still waiting for my cousin to arrive. He has been on a mission in Botswana for the past few months so I imagine has simply forgotten to be on time for dinner tonight.” T’Challa was gracious enough to make Trinity feel better that she wasn’t the one to arrive. “In the meantime, I believe introductions are in order. My love?” He nodded towards Alisha.

“This is T’Challa’s mother, Queen Mother Ramonda.” The older woman’s large, ornamental hat dipped as she nodded her head towards Trinity, but said nothing so Alisha continued. “And this his younger sister, Shuri.”

Trinity opened her mouth to say something to them, but T’Challa is cutting her off. “Ah, there he is. It’s about time you graced us with you with your presence.”

“Did you tell Okoye to drag me out my room?”

His voice washed over her and her entire body went rigid. She would know the sound of that voice anywhere. She ground her teeth together as he rounded the table and came into view, sitting down in the seat next to T’Challa. His locs were longer than the last time she saw him, pulled back into four twists towards the back of his head. Beard fuller than just the mere goatee he had the last time. His full bottom gold grill was gone and in its place were two golden fangs instead.

Alisha nudged Trinity in the side, practically vibrating with excitement that the two were finally going to meet.

“Trinity, allow me to introduce my cousin, N’J-”

Trinity cut him off. “Erik.”

Next to her, Shuri nearly choked on her sip of water.

“Do you two know each other?”

“No.” Erik spoke just as Trinity contradicted him, saying a resounding yes and making his eyebrows sit low on his face in confusion.

Trinity’s face goes through a range of emotions, going from the same confusion that Erik wears and morphing into realization, before settling on anger as her features twisted with the rush of emotion. She rose from her seat slowly, hands gripping at the table.

“Trin…” Alisha’s voice was drowned out by the loud thump that echoed in the room when Trinity landed a precise right hook against Erik’s jaw, splitting open the corner of his bottom lip and drawing blood on contact.

Shuri was the only one to break the stifling silence, “I do believe you got knocked the fuck out, cousin.”

#series: mad love #erik killmonger #erik killmonger fic #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik stevens #erik killmonger imagine #tchalla fanfic #black panther fanfiction #black panther fic #black panther imagine

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two-halves-of-reylo · 7 years ago

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I am using the prompts to try and write a larger, post TLJ story. Here’s this week’s chapter:

Poe had very nearly wet his pants.

A cargo ship had arrived on Storia 2A90 from one of the newly declared allies. It had next level cloaking systems, advanced enough to thwart the First Order’s ability to trace it through light speed, and had delivered to them a new fleet of X-wing fighters.

It wasn’t enough, not nearly enough, but it was a promising start.

The arrival of the fighters continued to build the air of hope among the growing band of rebels.

One of the vessels stood out, a customised dark-hulled beast. It had been delivered already inscribed in silver, ‘Black One’.

Poe patted the hull and kissed it, saying, “Come to papa, baby.” He bent low to the ground and scratched his fingers across the top of his favourite droid. “This one’s for us, right, buddy?” BB-8 spun in mad circles, his skittery beeps and chirps signally his excited agreement.

Invigorated by the arrival of the new fleet, Poe leapt into action.

Lieutenant Connix sat behind a databank of screens. Poe rested a hand on her shoulder, winked at her and said, “It’s time to get this resistance across the galaxy. Am I right?”

He was oblivious to the deep blush that stained her cheeks. “Y-yes, Commander Dameron.”

“If feels good to be called than again, Connix, real good.”

Many of the rebel pilots were fledging, still in training, but there were also newly arrived and more experienced recruits arriving daily from planets across the galaxy and stretching into the outer rim.

Poe organised them into teams, for flight training, but also for daily scouting and surveillance of the planet and its atmosphere. He coordinated between using the land speeders and the fighters, leaving nothing to chance. If the First Order were to locate the new base before they had a real chance to rebuild, all would be lost.

Rose was on her feet, but still recovering from her injuries, and requiring plenty of daily rest. Finn was often with her, attentive and kind as ever, but Rey could tell he was itching to be of more use.

Rey arranged for Finn to join her on a scouting run to the mountain range south of the base. They took two land speeders.

Halfway to their destination Rey caught Finn edging just ahead of her speeder. She looked over at him but he was staring, nonchalant, straight ahead. She edged her speeder just in front of his. Without a glance in her direction he nudged into the lead once more. Within minutes they were outright racing, swooping over the dips and rises of the sandy surface. Finn was so loud, Rey could hear his shouts, even from inside her cockpit.

As the more experienced pilot, Rey pulled a manoeuvre that had her reaching the destination first, with ease. She laughed and the sound of it inside her cockpit shocked her. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt carefree enough to laugh out loud. It felt good.

They took their lunch break, sitting in a shallow but cool cave, several metres above the ground. The position gave them a wide outlook to the horizon. The day was clear. It was sad to see the lack of life, of daily activity on the mostly uninhabited planet, thanks to the First Order. The rocky mountains surrounding them had formed from ancient volcanoes and gave off a whiff of sulphur, especially when warmed by the sun. Rey was grateful for an upwind that kept the air around them fresh.

After so long apart and weeks of chaotic activity, it was at last a quiet and private moment between the two friends. Rey didn’t know when she would get another chance, so she took the opportunity to try and get Finn to open up.

As she had feared, Rose’s romantic feelings were not reciprocated.

Rey said, “The longer you leave this, the worse it will be. If you don’t feel the same, you have to tell her.”

“The thought of hurting Rose terrifies me,” said Finn. His shoulders slumped. “I do love her. She’s brave, funny, and she risked her own life to save me. I owe her everything. I just don’t…love her that way.”

“We saved each other too. I love you as a friend. You don’t owe me more than that.”

“It’s…different with Rose. You don’t see the way she looks at me.”

Rey handed Finn a Crohler sandwich from the cooler they had brought. He picked at it without much interest.

Rey thought about the way she had seen Rose’s face light up, whenever Finn was around. She said, “No, I have.”

Finn said, “I have no experience with…this. The First Order, they treated us like machines. We weren’t allowed to form attachments. We were beaten and sent to isolation if they even suspected we had…favourites.”

He looked like he wanted to say more, but instead he stared at the ground. A small gathering had appeared near his feet. They were tiny critters with four short legs and long tails. They were no bigger than a large insect but they seemed to be a mixture of reptile and bird. Their scaly skin was covered with short blue and green feathers. Finn tossed them some crumbs from his lunch. One of the critters had a trunk that extended in membranous sections from its head, each new section advancing with a clacking sound. The creature sucked up a few of Finn’s crumbs. It stilled for a moment and then spat out the food in violent disgust, chitting and squeaking. The other critters responded to the warning and scattered into narrow fissures in the cave wall.

Rey stared at her friend, helpless. She thought hard about what she could say that might help.

She had exactly zero experience with relationships.

Back on Jakku, she had used her staff to beat off the odd trader who thought she was bargaining with more than she was prepared to offer. Before BB-8 and Finn had entered her life, she didn’t even have friends, not really.

Thinking about fighting, for some reason her mind went straight to Ben. She suddenly felt hot and uncomfortable, despite the cool surroundings. She wiped away beads of sweat on her upper lip and brow. There was nothing in her complex relationship with Ben that could offer solace to anyone.

Finn spoke suddenly, a blurt. “We hid it, but there was someone, once.” He paused, embarrassed, and chewed on his bottom lip. “It didn’t get far as relationships go, but we cared for each other.” He drew in a breath that seemed to hurt and released it quickly. “He was killed on my first mission.” He looked up into Rey’s face. “When I defected. On Jakku.”

“Oh.”

“Seeing Zuk reach for me as he died, being powerless…it was the final straw. Then Kylo Ren ordered us to kill everyone…I couldn’t.”

At the mention of Kylo…Ben, Rey’s discomfort grew, like a hard, twisted knot inside her. There was such a disconnect between the monster she’d first met, the monster she knew who had ordered such atrocities, and the conflicted young man she came to know on Ahch-To. That man had saved her life by killing Snoke, he had been the partner she fought with against the Praetorian Guard. Somehow, despite the monstrous things he had done under Snoke’s control, she had seen there was still good inside him, a glimmer of hope for his future.

Rey thought how impossible it would be to convince someone like Finn of this, someone whose hatred of Kylo Ren was utterly justified. She was riddled with guilt for keeping her Force connection with Ben a secret, but she didn’t know how she could ever explain it to Finn or any other member of the resistance.

Finn had thrown the sandwich back into the cooler and had picked up a stick. He was tracing patterns into the sand at his feet. “Most Storm Troopers are men, but I don’t think it would have mattered.” He blinked up at Rey. “That’s what I like.”

Rey hesitated. “So you haven’t been attracted to anyone else, since you left?”

“Well.” Finn shrugged inside his brown, leather jacket and fiddled with the cuffs. “I have. Not that it will do me any good. I don’t think he flies that way. Anyway, he’s a bit of a tart.”

The sleeping quarters were a barracks, abandoned by the original inhabitants on Storia. The barracks were large enough to house a small city: a series of simple pods and common areas cut into an enormous cave, a rabbit warren of tunnels interconnecting them.

Tossing from side-to-side in her narrow cot, Rey was frustrated. Thoughts of Ben Solo and her Force bond with him were haunting her. Every time she drifted off, it was only to dream again and again about their moments together, or to extend them, play them out with different outcomes, outcomes that made her huff out loud.

The signs of the Force connection opening were easy to recognise. It always started the same: a slight pressure inside her head, a muffled thrum and then a pop.

She opened her eyes and rolled over to face the wall.

He was there.

Ben was sitting on the ground, his back resting against something, one leg bent. His shoulders seemed broad enough for two people, his presence vast enough to rob the room of air.

He was staring at her, but when their eyes made contact, he looked away. As usual, his surroundings were invisible to Rey. He looked exactly the same as the last time she had seen him.

Rey’s eyes darted to Leia’s cot and back to Ben. She knew he couldn’t see her, well she hoped not, but Leia was his mother, and she was strong with the Force.

“We’re not alone?” Ben said.

Of course he would sense something, damn him.

Rey shook her head, hating the way his voice sent a shiver across her skin and made her stomach muscles tighten.

It was the first time the Force bond had opened with another person so close by. Except for when Luke had caught them holding hands. That hadn’t ended well. Rey didn’t know why, but she sensed that Ben being able to see his mother right now might not be such a good thing. Even if Leia suspected something was going on between Rey and Ben, Rey wasn’t ready to share the knowledge of the Force bond with the rest of the resistance, not until she understood it better for herself. She didn’t want to think about how they might want to use it to their advantage.

It was selfish of course, but she wanted to keep their connection private, for now, just between the two of them.

Rey’s eyes flicked to the other cot again, but Leia hadn’t moved and appeared to be in a deep sleep.

Ben’s dark hair fell in soft waves on either side of his face. It was a waste for a man to have hair like that. Betraying that thought, Rey’s fingers itched, wondering what his hair would feel like to touch.

He spoke slowly, thoughtfully. “I can sense, a presence, a colour. Someone strong with the Force.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “My mother?”

Rey nodded, silently.

“Is she…is she alright?” He was working his mouth, uncomfortable with the question. His eyes glistened often but Rey thought this time it wasn’t from anger but instead, concern.

He was dressed from head to toe in his customary black and he was sitting on his cape. Despite the overwhelming hulk of him and the presence of so much black, Rey didn’t see the dark lord, the commander calling orders to destroy the resistance against the First Order.

She saw a vulnerable young man.

Rey considered her reply. Her observation from a few days ago, that Leia was diminishing, wasn’t quite right. By day, and to the rest of the rebels, she was the general they knew: focused, feisty, and occasionally irascible. At night, well it was different. Diminishing wasn’t the right word. It was more like she was preparing for something.

Transitioning?

Leia lay very still, as though in a trance, and Ben was right, she almost seemed to glow with blue/green light.

“I think so,” Rey whispered.

“I didn’t fire on her, on the command ship, I want you to know that. I…couldn’t.” Rey watched him and fought the compassion that rose within her. He lived with such constant conflict; it hurt to watch him grapple with it.

Ben said, “But I saw the bridge destroyed.” He frowned and looked away, lost in the memory. “I couldn’t see how she could have survived…but then I sensed her again, alive, on Crait.” He shook his head and shrugged. “Despite everything, I was relieved.”

Ben looked up and they stared at each other. Rey was only wearing a thin tank top and no arm or chest bands. Self-conscious, she drew the blanket up from her waist to under her chin.

“You know I can’t hurt you here,” he said. His voice was soft now.

“Do you want to?”

He gazed at her for a long moment. Those enormous, expressive brown eyes drew her in, sometimes sad, sometimes longing for…Rey didn’t dare think what. Ben pressed his lips together tightly, and a muscle worked in his jaw. “No,” he ground out.

“What’s changed?”

“I was angry at your…rejection.”

Rey rolled her eyes. It was hard to stay quiet at that. She had rejected the First Order, the dark side of the Force, Ben’s desire to rule over everything and everyone, not Ben as a person. She asked him to join them, and even now she couldn’t help the fact that she was relieved that they could still be connected like this.

Instead of responding, she kept her voice low and said, “Why aren’t you in bed? Don’t you ever sleep?”

Uncharacteristically, half his mouth lifted. It was completely unexpected and disarming. “Is that an invitation?”

She felt her face flame. “What? No.”

He waved the wrist that was resting on his bent knee, a casual, dismissive gesture, and grinned.

Ben Solo teased her now?

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said.

Angered at being teased, Rey’s tone became accusatory. “What are you doing? Are you trying to find us? The rumours in the galaxy say you are, but no one knows where you are looking.”

Those eyes again. “Do you want me to?”

Was it her imagination, or did everything he was saying tonight seem laden with extra dangerousness?

It was probably her discussion today with Finn about relationships.

Stars above, why was she thinking about relationships?

“Why does everyone think I killed Snoke?” she said, instead of answering his question.

“Really?” he said. “After you were gone, Hux came in, and-” Ben’s attention was drawn away, he stood up to address someone or something in his world. Then he was gone, the Force bond broken.

Rey was woken a second time that night, a few hours before dawn.

Almost panicking, she threw on her boots and an old jumper and ran, breathless, bursting into Poe’s quarters without even thinking about knocking. Luckily he was alone and she shook him awake.

Rey said, “It’s the General. Come now.”

Poe slept, ready for an emergency, and was already wearing pants and a shirt. He pulled on his boots, then reached for the holster belt for his blaster.

“No time for that,” said Rey, pulling his hand.

Rey and Poe raced down the corridors, BB-8 at their heels.

Poe’s boots slid to a stop on the stone floor as they reached the entrance of the sleeping chamber. Leia was laying still, silent and deathly pale in her bed. The blue/green glow surrounding her was noticeable to anyone.

Rey’s heart was in her throat. Was she too late?

“Shit,” said Poe, emphatically. “No, no, no. No way.” He spun on his heel to order his droid. “BB-8, get the physician. Hustle, buddy.”

BB-8 began spinning, but Leia held up her hand. “Stop,” she said in a surprisingly strong voice, although her arm fell heavily back on the bed. “There’s no need.”

“General,” gasped Poe, relieved at the sound of her voice. “You almost gave me a heart attack. Let me get the doc, there’s clearly something wr-”

Summoning all her energy, Leia cut him off. “Let go of the control stick, flyboy. LISTEN.”

BB-8 made a downward whirring sound that telegraphed, uh-oh.

“Come here, both of you.”

Rey and Poe moved to stand on either side of the bed. Leia held out her hands to each of them. Rey was shocked at how chilled Leia’s skin was to the touch. Poe, clearly impatient at the lack of activity to rectify the situation, shuffled from foot to foot.

“It’s time,” Leia said, simply.

Poe began to argue and Leia narrowed her eyes, her irrepressible internal power, silencing him.

Rey and Poe felt it at the same time. They blinked at each other, eyes wide. Leia was sending…something through them, was it the Force? Rey’s entire arm was tingling.

“It’s time for me to guide you in a different way,” Leia’s voice was growing softer. “You are the future.”

Leia’s head shifted so that she was looking directly at Rey. “You have the best instincts of anyone I know. Trust them. I know it is not in your heart to lead, but others will look to you, and be guided by your actions.”

There it was, the pressure, the thrumming and the pop.

Not now thought Rey.

She felt him at her back.

“You are strong with the Force, Rey,” Leia continued.

“Turn around,” said Ben, unable to see or hear the rest of the room.

Rey did everything to school her expression to be neutral, to focus on Leia. She kept her back to Ben. This was not the time.

Or was it?

He sounded pissy at first. “What are you holding? Wait.” His tone changed, deepened. “I sense something. Is it my mother?” His voice rose with alarm. “What’s wrong with her?”

Rey ignored him and heard him hiss in frustration, threatening to release his temper from its very short fuse.

Then she heard Ben’s shocked gasp.

“I can see her,” he said.

Through their bond, Rey sensed how rocked Ben was by seeing what was happening. His feelings were utter turmoil. She wondered how long it had been since Ben had last seen his mother. Was it their Force bond allowing him to see Leia now? Was she sharing her world with him?

Leia was looking directly at Rey, but Ben was standing behind her, just over her right shoulder.

Could she see him as well?

Poe was too upset and focused on Leia to notice anything strange about Rey’s expression or behaviour.

Leia was looking at Rey, but Rey could have sworn the words she spoke next were for Ben as much as for her.

Leia said, “You are our hope and our light.”

Behind her, Ben made a choked sound.

Rey, overwhelmed by all that was happening, felt her heart sink, because this sounded like goodbye, but Leia was smiling and squeezing Rey’s hand.

“I don’t understand. What’s happening?” Ben croaked. Rey heard the raw emotion in his voice. She couldn’t focus on him right now, but it seemed he was caught up in his own thoughts anyway. “Her hair is so grey. Did I do that?”

Leia turned her head on the pillow to make eye contact Poe. The effort seemed to drain her. “I know you are brave. The bravest…and the best pilot I’ve ever known.” Poe tried to smile at that. “I hope I have taught you the wisdom of knowing when to retreat, of knowing when the losses are too great to bear.” Then she added, “You’ll be a great leader, General Dameron.”

Rey looked across at Poe and was shocked to see a tear run down his cheek. “Stay, boss,” he begged.

Leia’s voice was little more than a whisper. “I can’t wait to join them, you see.” She exhaled, long and slow. “Luke told me, don’t worry, no one is ever truly gone.”

Leia’s head turned and her eyes rested a final time on Rey, and she was sure, on Ben as well.

“Mom,” said Ben in a broken voice.

Rey looked down at the bed in time to see Leia vanish from this world. For a few seconds her nightclothes held the shape of her before they settled, empty and flat on the bedding.

She had never felt more fearful or alone.

#reylo #reylo fanfiction #ReyloWeeklyChallenge #kylo ren x rey #rey x kylo ren #submission #long post #longpost

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resistancepilotfinn · 7 years ago

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lengthy spoiler-y tlj thoughts that can be summarized thusly - i didn’t love it, or even really like it, but i didn’t HATE it either and if you added up all the things i loved and added up all the things i didn’t like, the things i loved would outnumber what i didn’t like. it’s just what i didn’t like was so much worse than what i liked was good, if that makes sense.

things i loved

the opening with poe on space speaker phone with hux was so funny and perfectly in character (”yes i’m on hold for general hux” “can he not hear me??” “tell him the general has a very important message...about his mother.”)

i knew paige would probably die to motivate rose into action because that’s a trope that itself refuses to die, but i’m glad she got to go out as a big damn hero taking out an entire dreadnought singlehandedly.

everything involving bb-8 was so much fun and him in that walker was so completely ridiculous i couldn’t help but love it.

i’ve seen people complaining about it, but most of the humor actually worked for me. there were some really notable exceptions that i’ll get to though (much like the rest of the movie, the bad stuff is just so much worse than the good stuff is good).

i loved that even though they were apart for the whole movie, finn and rey’s relationship was still central to their characters (when they were allowed to be their characters at least). finn asking about her and always making sure someone had the beacon and kept it safe so she could find them. rey thinking about him on the island and asking chewie to tell him something for her if she didn’t make it. their hug at the end. all great. these little moments were when the film had the most heart and it’s really a shame that rian kept them apart for the whole thing.

the parts where rey was, y’know, actually rey were awesome. like her following luke around and refusing to leave him alone or when she literally reaches out and luke messes with her with that plant and tells her its the force and she’s like “really????” i wish we could’ve gotten more stuff like that from them. the running gag of her fucking shit up on the island and the fish bird nuns getting pissed about it was also fun. and i loved her in the falcon on crait with her little “woo! i like this!” mirroring finn in tfa. there was also a really cute blink and you miss it bit with rain dripping off the falcon and her splashing her hand in it with a little smile. her reunion with bb-8 was adorable and i liked that they included the little meeting between her and poe that was cut from tfa. her final conversation with leia would’ve worked better if she’d had more of a connection with luke but it was still nice to see two women having a conversation about restoring hope and the resistance (would’ve been nice if rose were there too and not on the verge of death).

rey literally closing the door in kylo’s face

leia using the force to FLOAT THROUGH SPACE. yeah it was cheesy and more than a little unbelievable but goddamn what a beautiful image. i’m gonna make it my desktop background the second there’s an hd leak

in the few moments she wasn’t completely ooc, rey’s interactions with kylo were kinda interesting. i actually liked the part where she was telling him she didn’t understand how he could grow up in a loving family and turn out to be a fucking murderer and kill his father. and also how annoyed she was getting with their little mind-skype sessions. i wish we could have had more of that and less of...whatever the rest of it was. i even liked their joint fight against the praetorian guards tbh.

“finn? naked? leaking bag? did you fry a circuit or something?”

“don’t you have a towel or something to put on??” a mood.

“you were always scum.” “rebel scum.”

when he was actually in character, finn was badass like always. i liked that he knew just as much as rose did regarding tech. his fight with phasma was also great, even though it was way too short. his entire arc was kind of redundant of tfa but it was really touching to see him ready to sacrifice himself for a cause because he believed in it and not just for a person even though i was terrified they might actually kill him off and i’m incredibly grateful they didn’t. he’s such a good man i love him so much.

i want one of the secret rebel logo rings

almost everything that came out of leia’s mouth was so emotional considering carrie’s gone. as was her reunion with luke(ish). the whole “is anyone ever really gone” thing really hit me hard, as did the whole “how can we keep going?” “we have everything we need” bit with rey.

even though i had some issues with her actual story, i loved holdo. laura dern was fantastic. her final conversation with leia was so good, especially when they stumbled awkwardly over saying “may the force be with you.” it was so heartwarming to see laura dern getting to say that line after hearing her tell stories of being such a big fan throughout the press tour. you could really feel the love from her (which was nice because you couldn’t really feel it from anyone else this time and i don’t blame them at all).

i LOVED seeing billie lourde get to do more and i really hope she gets to step into an even bigger role in 9.

i love poe dameron and his ride or die attitude toward the resistance. i know some people had problems with his story and i did to a degree, mostly from other characters, but i also thought it worked to develop him a bit and make him more three dimensional. which i think was the intent for all the characters, it just really only worked for him.

i loved seeing so many women in leadership roles in the resistance. i’ll be interested in seeing the dialogue/gender breakdown.

the porgs were perfect and amazing and did nothing wrong ever in their lives

the vulptices were perfect and amazing and did nothing wrong ever in their lives and deserve every bit the merchandising extravaganza the porgs received

yoda finally admitting the jedi were kinda fucked up and needed to start fresh so he blew up the force tree himself when luke hesitated. also i laughed really hard at “page turners they were not” re: the jedi texts

also “we are what they grow beyond” was a great line that this movie did not deserve

luke’s reunion with artoo was everything i wanted it to be except it wasn’t nearly long enough. seeing the old recording of leia from anh made me so emotional even though i agree with luke that it was a cheap shot (i laughed so hard at that line) but i don’t care.

“SACRED island watch your language.”

poe in his x-wing blowing stuff up

resistance pilot tallie and her little salute before getting blown up

rose removing the saddle from the big-eared space horse and saying that would make getting caught worth it. as a big ol animal lover myself, that was when i connected with her the most even though it was cheesy as hell.

luke skywalker and his astral projection. that whole bit was amazing. LOVED when he emerged from that cloud and dusted off his perfectly clean cloak. this scene, the scene with leia, the bit where he messed with rey, and the scene with artoo were the only times he really felt like luke skywalker and i thoroughly enjoyed them all.

i am actually surprisingly okay with the ending of luke skywalker’s story (mostly because i feel like it’s not really an ending) but...

things i did not like

it just didn’t feel earned in the context of this movie.

while the increased number of women in important roles was great, there’s no reason they almost all had to be white except rose. there’s also no reason almost all of them had to die. it was especially gross to see so many woc on screen only to have them die a second later with little or no dialogue. also not a fan of rose ending the film unconscious and on the brink of death.

speaking of rose, that kiss with finn at the end was super awkward and came out of nowhere. there was no indication anywhere in their plot that she was developing feelings for him outside of a little hero worship at the beginning. it also made her big heroic moment about him and not her coming into her own as her own hero (something she unfortunately shares with rey which i’ll get to in a bit). also did not like how they had her zap him at the beginning either. did not like it at all.

in fact i did not like how they used finn as a punching bag in general. i know john’s great at physical comedy and an instance or two would’ve been fine-ish but the stuff they did to him went way too far, especially since so much of it was straight up physical abuse meant to be “funny,” like “haha look at this black man stumbling around and getting zapped and hurt in really exaggerated ways.” it was gross. i also HATED how they had hux slap him. do they not know how that looked??? a white nazi stand-in slapping a black man on his knees in front of him???? no one took five seconds to be like “hey rian this is a terrible idea”? or did someone actually try to explain to him how racist this was and he just didn’t care?

for that matter, i also hated when leia shot poe and how it was played for laughs as well. there was far too much abuse against poc being played for laughs. this is something people have to deal with every day in real life and it isn’t fuckin funny to sit in a theater and see it treated like a joke. i just saw someone say how when finn fell in the stable there was a pile of shit near him which i didn’t even notice and what the actual hell and fuck rian?

speaking of finn, i was willing to give the actual movie a shot before i made my own comments about him being sidelined in the movie and in the marketing because it kind of seemed like they were keeping the resistance story under wraps and marketing is bullshit 90% of the time anyway but...his and rose’s plotline really felt like such an afterthought. i mean overall i liked well enough if you remove all the gross shit and i love finn and i grew to like rose a lot, but there is absolutely no reason they couldn’t have included more of it in the marketing or even treated it with one iota of respect in the actual film.

actually one of my biggest complaints is that both finn AND rey felt like afterthoughts in their own story. finn was on this random side quest that ultimately didn’t matter anyway since they failed because benicio del toro benicio del toro’d them and rey was literally only there to service kylo’s story in a really ooc way. i get that snoke was the one behind their connection and that he was manipulating the way rey interpreted everything but it just didn’t work for me because there’s no reason to believe snoke is that all powerful and tfa set rey up to have a strong mind that can withstand that stuff so that entire aspect of the story just did not work so it makes rey act out of character. even if he was just manipulating and using her naive hopefulness and faith in people, that should have been, y’know, addressed. i’m pretty sure what we were supposed to get was not only kylo growing to fully embrace his role as a villain, but finn and rey paralleling this journey and fully embracing their roles as heroes. and we got the kylo part....but finn was just given the same exact character arc as tfa instead of having that arc expanded upon and rey was....there.

everyone calling kylo a “boy” or “child” - HE’S A THIRTY YEAR OLD MAN

continued criminal under-use of gwendoline christie and lupita nyong’o

rey’s parentage stuff was so anticlimactic. i could so easily have gotten behind rey being a nobody from nowhere that comes from nothing stepping into the role of a legendary hero if had been handled even remotely well but it wasn’t. it was all about kylo and ended up just being about him manipulating her so he could go through his own character arc. the scene in the cave should have been about rey confronting the reality that her parents were garbage and she was responsible for her own self and she’s turned out great despite the deck being stacked against her not about kylo still having good in him or whatever the fuck, which again, i know that was snoke planting those seeds and kylo manipulating her but since they were never actually addressed...just like during that last confrontation with kylo, it should have been about rey coming to terms with everything, including the painful realization that having blind faith and hope in people doesn’t always work out (luke even says “this isn’t going to go the way you think”!!) but that entire thread was just left hanging.

speaking of hanging threads, wtf happened with the students kylo vanished with??? are they the knights of ren? where were they during this mess? why were these students never mentioned again???? what’s going on????

there are SO MANY inconsistencies with tfa that i can’t believe disney actually pays for a story group and apparently refuses to let them actually do their job. like, how are rey’s parents dead on jakku if we see them taking off in a ship and rey crying out for them to come back (fwiw i think kylo was lying at least a little about her parents - i’m not convinced they were just drunks who sold her off especially since she’s never actually been a slave). why were the knights of ren at the massacre in rey’s vision but apparently not in tlj’s version of the events??? why does leia suddenly know her son is already gone when she just sent han to bring him home because she still felt good in him two days ago???? why were luke and rey on the verge of tears upon seeing each other on that island only to have like ONE positive interaction and no real relationship to speak of??????

the ending with those kids in canto bight was stupid. this is the first star wars movie that didn’t end on a skywalker in some way and i hated it.

NO ONE SAID “I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS”

things i never want to think about again

shirtless kylo

monster tiddy milk

it’s interesting because i have friends that both really liked tlj and friends that completely and utterly hated it, and friends like me that just....don’t know what to think. basically i think i feel like the movie had its moments but it was so bogged down by racist and misogynist bullshit that it’s hard to muster the enthusiasm needed to watch it again and enjoy all those moments i enjoyed. i guess the question is if someone handed you a bag full of shit and told you that there was a handful of gold nuggets mixed in with it, would you sift through the shit to get to them or just be comfortable with the knowledge that they’re in there and wait two years hoping you get a bag with just the gold nuggets in it?

#tlj spoilers

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yeahnobaggage · 7 years ago

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CHAPTER THREE: FEAR