#anyway best i can do is particularly selfish and or chaotic but i need some good redeemign qualities in there

[ivycrowned]

tumblr recced a post and I had. Irrelevant thoughts. also it seemed like a vent post. but the neuro-whatever vibe to Explain sparkled in my brain so. i am indulging this in my own corner instead of on someone else's post.

i don't do near exclusively good runs bc im just so pure and good and/or want to be perceived that way

i do 'em bc i have anxiety and also bc helping ppl is my power fantasy but like the anxiety is so very real abt it.

[primordialgod]

Which ultra-specific movie genre do you belong in?

Oscar winning tragedy

ex: Manchester by the sea. I feel really bad for you, your life has probably been super sad but something inspiring will come out of it, maybe, hopefully?  

Let me assign you a love language 

A KNIFE CALLED GRIEF

You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything. You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.

What is your grief language?

NOURISHING

You like to meet everyone's needs - sometimes at the expense of your own well-being (even if you're also including yourself). But you get things done, never neglecting a task. You make sure everyone is fed, you run errands, you make the plans. You measure your progress by productivity. You're focusing on controlling what can be controlled. But here's the thing: it's okay to let other people help - to let them make the phone calls or ask you how you are. How are you? You are nurturing, reliable. But you're also grieving. It's okay to just sit down. Nothing has to be perfect. Manifests as: cooking meals, driving around, cleaning, making lists, stopping to lend a shoulder, packing things up and/or giving them away, making sure everyone feels comfortable and safe enough to share their feelings.

YOU ARE WORTHY

A COMFORTING THUNDERSTORM

you’re the feeling of being held tight while the rain pounds on the window. you’re the smell of wet grass and the flash of lightning against the sky. your dark and broody nature may give you an unjust reputation, but in reality you are one of the most beautiful things in nature. you are the deep growl of thunder. you are kids hiding in blanket forts. you are the soft glow of a candle in the middle of a blackout.

Which is Your Morality Alignment?

Your Result: Chaotic Good

You have a sound moral compass, helping those in need, though tend to see rules as suggestions (or, in some cases, limitations). Hence, you mostly confront oppression in all its forms, be it some dark overlord or the school bully, while you simultaneously may run into trouble with authority. Not that you particularly mind, for you believe that freedom is the ultimate good, mirroring the archetypal “rebel hero”.

What do you need to hear the most right now?

You're a good person. You are.

Being good is everything you've ever wanted. You try your best to treat everyone kindly, and yet, you worry that your kindness isn't enough. That maybe what you thought was you being nice was actually an overreach, a misstep. I'm here to tell you that your kindness is enough. Kind people don't have to be nice all the time in order to be kind. Simply trying your best to spread cheer in a world that is so cold means that you are good, despite your insecurities.

Which tragic character from ancient Greek literature are you?

Antigone

you are antigone, from the theban plays by sophocles. you are bold, unwavering in your morals and your passion, an unstoppable force of nature. but when you go head-to-head with an immovable object, your ideals can lead you to self-destruction. you are stubbornly resilient and fearless to a fault, and aren't afraid to stand alone in the face of death. antigone, in your quest for justice, don't forget: you are allowed to step back, to love life a little, to be young once more before soldiering on to the very very end. be selfish in your fierceness, just once.

What kind of herb are you?

Cayenne 

Everyone says that you're so bright, so loud, so much and maybe you are or maybe you're covering up that gaping wound in your chest with fireworks. Or maybe you really are so bright so warm so hot but sometimes you wonder if anything will ever be enough to soothe that aching burning cold fire in your chest. You don't know what it is, can't ever let yourself close enough to that pyre to know if it's anger or fear or loneliness or grief but it's there and if you're good enough, funny enough, bold enough, maybe you can hide it from everyone else. Maybe there's enough of you and enough of the world that you can outrun it forever, your own fire bright enough to put that wound to shame. Bright enough to prove to everyone, anyone, yourself, your mother, your father, your friends, your classmates, the world, that you're enough. You're enough. You're enough.

What's your role in the found family?

The Silent Sufferer

you love your friends, but the truth is, you go through most of the real things alone. it’s better that no one sees you like this. you’ll be fine, really, because you’re used to feeling this way. it’ll pass. it always does. that’s what you believe, anyway. you’re more likely to give someone advice on a lesson you’ve learned without telling them how you learned it. you’ve come to realize that, if they’re coming to you for advice, they’ll be too preoccupied to ask. it stings, but it’s… that’s just the way feelings work sometimes. when you’re around others, most of these problems seem to vanish, and you’re better able to love the person you are. only on the worst days do you continue to hear that insistent whisper that it’s, “all a lie because they don’t know what’s *really* going on.” it’s not a lie. you are loved. those moments together are real. there are times when you can afford not to be so strong.

[ellesliterarycorner]

What My Followers Want to See More of in Female Characters

My favorite thing in my WIP is all the badass female characters I have. I love writing about the bonds, friendships, relationships, and rivalries between them. It makes my little heart so happy! And, I will be the first person to admit that I hadn’t even thought of some of the things you guys suggested on our little instagram poll, but I cannot wait to add some of them to my story! Even though we’ve made so many leaps and bounds with the way female characters are portrayed, I still think we’ve got a long way to go, and if you guys include half of the stuff you suggested in your stories, then I think we’re gonna be okay. Once again, I didn’t change anything that you guys wrote, so there are gonna be some repeats on the list, but this time just because the list was getting so long, I did take out a few things if I saw that several other people had suggested it!

“Nerdy” or sporty girl who gets a love interest without a makeover or changing herself 

super girly femme characters shown as a complex person

making her own decisions, if good or bad

a strong female character without a tragic backstory 

gender non conformity!! 

Being openly children and not changing her mind about it

chubby and flaws and not having a crush with every cute boy they see 

girlie girls who are still really powerful 

self reliance but still having emotion, not being ice cold but not needing a a man 

lesbians who’s entire character arc isn’t about them being a lesbian 

having body insecurities eg wanting to be flat-chested

women in politics and women that have classic “man” as well as “woman” characteristics 

independence 

be less oblivious lol and more like real people who pick up hints 

not dead caring moms.

comic relief female characters

not minding about liking “girly” things/ having a bunch of friends who are boys but there is no romance between them 

being a mother doesn’t mean giving up ur dreams and settling for less,

having mcs that actually make smart decisions 

a bad ass character that loves kids and wants to have them in the future

not taking abuse cause they think it’s love 

ball gowns and pretty stuff for themselves and not for a mission or anything 

more bold female characters since many females are shown as shy 

having a big appetite 

female characters who can be cool without having to wield swords 

willingness to do domestic work with a cheerful heart 

women whose strength is their intelligence 

women who are not afraid to be feminine or strong 

strong mother figures 

girls that are the lead in their relationship over the boy 

more actual girly interests 

the women you least expect to sing the best 

strong women who like feminine stuff 

being happy without a romantic relationship 

black females being protected or vulnerable for once 

ending up single 

hanging out with male friends with no romantic subtext 

females who aren’t super pretty

ultra femininity (pink, dresses, glitter, makeup) that isn’t seen as bad/evil/weak 

allow them to look up to/admire male peers rather than feel inferior or as if they have something to prove 

traditional “femininity” isn’t regarded as weak! Can cook/sew/clean and it’s normal : )

Female characters who are funny and make quips 

soft, kind women, who are still powerful. I don’t like the mean strong girl stereotype : (

Not forced strong women. Just relatable and human ones. We all have strengths and weaknesses 

less insecurities. Yes, we all have those, but it’s becoming stereotypical, mostly in YA 

I want them to be strong without being upright bossy 

strong women who also embrace their feminine side 

a girl with menstruation

ego actions- I feel like only male characters can throw ego actions while fem characters are classified selfish 

nonbinary female characters 

has a twin 

sarcasm and general impoliteness without making them the bady guy 

them being warriors or soldiers and that’s normal, nobody questions it 

villains and manipulating 

autistic female characters 

being single throughout the story. Some people like being single, thank you very much 

not being the perfect pretty little thing. Having an interesting personality and thoughts, dreams outside of relationships and being a badass 

a morally grey female character like y r those only men 

girls and women in healthy relationships with personalities aside from their S/O

girls who can be strong and confident while still being emotionally vulnerable 

also, girls who own huge “aggressive” dog breeds

groups of girls doing really impulsive things together like all guy friend groups do 

strong, but not jerks about it and not looking down on things like sewing/cooking/etc 

shyness that doesn’t need to be “fixed” or overcome 

well written romances- straight and gay (ie not ones that objectify one partner or the other) 

“strong female characters” who are gentle and caring! Tough doesn’t mean heatless! 

women who care more about the plot than their inconvenient love life 

girls who empower other girls and don’t play into internalized misogyny 

i’d love to see women putting forward their ideas and having their voices heard more : )

Strong in their own way, not just hands on fighting stuff. Like mentally strong 

less who are arrogant and rude to the male protagonists who they fall in love with anyway 

More LGBTQ+ women! 

Oh and more female protagonists who stay single 

being average looking, not a hot model and being okay with it 

Not falling for “bad boys” 

saving herself or another character from a dangerous situation 

not wanting marriage or children and people being okay with it 

not obsessed with  looks 

being good at math and sciences 

not being sexualized constantly (or at all) 

being just friends with straight male characters 

being like other girls 

having a life outside of romance 

to not need a man, but also not to be a stereotypical “bad girl, I don’t need man” authors need to find a medium between the two 

drinking, swearing, anything deemed “masculine” 

confident women who embrace both their femininity and masculinity

empowering other women

somebody with variety of interests and skills that are shown to be important to her badass female characters who are genuinely kind/even loving 

strong women who don’t discredit the model of the ideal woman of the time in historical fiction 

older women protagonists! I’d love to read about middle aged female heroes

females that aren’t afraid to be themselves 

strength without being a “baddie” or at the expense of others 

emotional sensitivity that isn’t linked to mental illness, men, or a weakness in character 

a chaotic neutral female protagonist 

physically strong/skilled female characters that remain feminine and aren’t femme fatales 

female characters that don’t particularly fit into a trope as that’s not really realistic

[joshuas]

the playlist

♫ pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

♫ genre: college/university student!au, slice-of-life, crack (at the end, really), fluff

♫ word count: 1.4k

♫ warnings: Nil of note!

♫ prompt: #You made me a Christmas playlist but it's just Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas is you" and I can't tell if you're hitting on me or if it's a joke. - if anyone is aware of the owner (?) of the prompt, please let me know so that I can credit appropriately :)

♫ a/n: The first addition to my Christmas drabbles! Enjoy this lowkey chaotic fic!

♫ skz christmas drabbles: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

[16:23] 10th Dec.

Entering the cafe your friend Chan was working at, you sighed contentedly, inhaling the smoky aroma of freshly ground coffee. “I need caffeine like right now.” You slumped against the counter dramatically. “Exams were that bad, huh?” He smiled sympathetically, starting up the espresso machine. “Not bad. Tiring, but not bad. I’m honestly just erasing any memory of them as we speak.” You sighed, propping your chin on your hands. “Well, regardless, I did make you something as a gift for completing those... things that you’re currently forgetting.” “You did? I mean you didn’t have to.” Your eyes lit up though, negating any attempt at masking your excitement and curiosity. “Okay, well I should clarify. It’s nothing big. My professor set us a task to make a playlist for someone, basically for the purpose of getting us to consider the audience that we’re making music for... so I chose you. Just think of it as something to relax to after a long week of exams.” He explained, tone slightly laced with trepidation that you payed no heed to. “Well, I’m flattered that my best friend considered me to be their... muse for this assignment? In fact, I’m super curious as to what songs you put on it. Send it to me tonight and I’ll listen to it!” You grinned, grabbing your coffee and waving as you exited the shop. “Yeah, okay...”

“Don’t spill the flour everywhere!” Your friend, Felix, stressed, pushing the bowl of cookie batter closer to you.

“This whole process would be a lot more fun if we could listen to music, as well.” You rolled your eyes at his hotheadedness. “Hey, you’re the one that wanted to make gingerbread for Chan because of the whole playlist thing, which is highly romantic by the way. Also, we all know what happens when you get distracted while cooking.” He smirked, mixing through the batter. “I’m pretty sure friends can make playlists for their friends. Besides, I have you to help this precarious venture not go sideways.” You flashed him a smile, opening up the playlist and pressing shuffle play, before quickly redirecting your attention to to the cookie trays. All I Want for Christmas Is You blasted out the speakers, you laughed awkwardly as Felix raised his eyebrows pointedly at you. Odd song choice, but okay.

Half an hour later, with Mariah Carey playing on loop for almost 10 times, Felix rubbed his temples,

“Either Chan has an extremely unique sense of humour, or it’s an extreme declaration of his undying love for you.” Parcelling the gingerbread away and neatly tying a bow on top, you looked at him, “It’s weird, though. All the songs on the playlist are the same. I don’t think Chan would do that... it’s probably some network glitch or something like that.” You resolved, thoughts whirling as you cleared the kitchen. You had known Chan since childhood. Growing up, the two of you were as thick as thieves, causing enough grief to last both your parents a lifetime. It wasn’t until late high school that you’d started viewing him differently. Every little act of kindness that he did out of friendship made your heart both burst with happiness and twinge at the fact that he didn’t share the same sentiment as you. You hadn’t ever really considered the possibility of him liking you back. You never wanted to venture into that territory, afraid that you’d get your hopes up and your friendship, something you valued more than anything, would be ruined at the cost of your curiosity and feelings. You considered it as too selfish to even entertain the thought. However, some nights you couldn’t help but daydream on how it would feel to have his soft lips on yours, and to be wrapped in his warm embrace every night. Yet, whenever reality dawned on you, you shut down that part of your brain, reinforcing to yourself that the two of you were only friends. “Hey, Y/N? Sorry to interrupt whatever internal monologue you’re having but I’m going to leave now. Regarding the Chan situation, I’m not telling you to read into it too much, but considering Chan, I doubt it was just a joke.” Felix gave you a tight hug, snapping you out of your reverie. Sighing, you shut off the speaker, heading to your bed, your thoughts provoking as you tossed and turned, unable to drift off.

[18:39] 12 Dec. You had actively avoided the cafe and Chan over the last few days, fleeting texts often with one worded answers being the only form of communication between the two of you until you had sort of wrapped your head around the whole playlist situation. You knew it was bad to keep Chan in the dark like that, but you weren’t ready to see him, regardless of what his reasoning was. It wasn’t until Felix had forced you out of the house to give him the gingerbread you had baked that you had to face your fears and him. The door jingled as you stepped into the place, Chan in the same place you last saw him, humming to, wow, he really likes this song, none other than All I Want for Christmas Is You as he wiped down the counter, “Sorry, we’re closed.” He called out, not glancing up as you approached. “You must really love Mariah Carey.” You raised your eyebrows at him as he glanced up at you, startled, “Y/N? You’re alive?” “No. I’m the ghost of christmas past... Of course I am. I came bearing gifts. Particularly Christmas ones since you’re going home tomorrow.” You placed the gift bag in his arms, avoiding his gaze. “Thank you.” He said quietly, putting the bag to the side. “So, about the playlist—“ You both started. He stopped as you continued. “Was it a joke?” You blurted out, silence pursuing as Mariah Carey belted in the background. Santa won't you bring me The one I really need Won't you please bring my baby to me “This is really poor choice of music... anyway. Look, Y/N, you’re my best friend.” Your heart twinged in disappointment as your throat tightened, casting your burning eyes to the ground. He grabbed your hands, “but... it wasn’t a joke. I literally put 100 copies of All I Want for Christmas Is You in a playlist to try and articulate my feelings for you.” “Wait... so you were hitting on me?” You questioned, looking up, incredulous. “I mean. Yeah.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Cool cool cool cool cool.” You stared at each other for a while, eyebrows raised. You surged forward, pressing a quick kiss on his lips, as he gaped at you in shock. “You mean you...” “I don’t know about you, but I don’t go around kissing randoms after they declare their undying love for me, unless I like them too.” He pulled you close to him, his lips moving tenderly moving against yours. Time came to a standstill, the music distantly playing in your mind as you wrapped your arms around his neck, the two of you blissfully enjoying each other’s company. You pulled apart, breathing heavily as a smile spread on both your faces, laughing softly. “You know... your wish did come true.” You remarked. “Wish?” He tilted his head, questioning. “All you want for Christmas is... you know...” You gestured to yourself, as he facepalmed, laughing, “I guess you’re right. All I’ve wanted for Christmas is you.”

+bonus -  high-key crack ((because Felix would never ever do this)) this is lowkey inspired by Chan’s Room: Ep. 69! Watching your silhouettes behind the tinted windows of the cafe lean in to kiss, Felix scrambled out of the car, eyes wide in horror as realisation dawned on him. “No! This can’t be happening! My plan...” He fell to his knees on the sidewalk, his upset tone echoing throughout the almost deserted street. He was in turmoil. He had been the one to orchestrate this whole thing - 100 copies of the same Mariah Carey song on a playlist, even with the concept of a playlist, he was sure you would hate it. However, what he didn’t account for... was that the two of you had feelings for each other. His heart twinged enviously at the possibility of Chan sharing all the pick-up lines customers (cough cough stays) had used on him throughout his day on you instead of Felix. He had to do something about this. This wasn’t the end for platonic Chanlix. He’d get his pick-up lines back.

➳ part two?  |  masterlist!

[floralkittygambler]

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

[maandags]

Can you please do hcs for Keith atla au where he is a earthbender and falls for a run away Royal female firebender reader?

Keith has always been very protective. be it of his family, friends, or his home; as a true and tried earthbender he feels like he has a duty of protection to his people 

this, of course, is merely a long winded way of saying he does not particularly like the fire nation.

Let Alone firebenders.

Let Alone Royal firebenders.

but you’re not an idiot, either.

you ran away for a reason, after all, didn’t you? you knew the horrors of what your father -- the Firelord -- is currently doing to the people of the Earth Kingdom in particular

and you wanted no part in it

in fact, you were on a journey to Ba Sing Se, where you’d hopefully find someone willing to listen who’d accept your help

you’d been keeping tabs. you knew about your father’s plans, knew who at the council table he trusted most and whose ideas he was most likely to follow, and you knew the way his advisors thought 

the decision to actually run away really had only followed after. an impulsive decision when you found you just couldn’t stand it anymore. you just had to go

so you kind of... did

you know you’re looked for everywhere

but once you got a change of clothes and cut your hair you knew people would have a hard time recognising you – especially since you never really got outside much, so not many people know what you actually look like, and it’s easy to hide your identity

so, naturally, when you stumble across Keith’s hometown on your way to Ba Sing Se, he’s suspicious, but just because he’s suspicious of everyone

doesn’t know you’re fire nation, let alone that you’re a firebender

however – he’s rude, harsh, nagging, and his brother Shiro pulls you aside one day and tells you that he usually doesn’t act like this, and he has no idea what’s gotten into him

you brush it off, laughing. “I’m an outsider, and we’re at war; I don’t blame him for being suspicious.” 

but it does bother you a bit

because yeah, you understand, but, like – you haven’t done anything to warrant this kind of treatment, you don’t think

and because you’ve never been particularly shy, you confront him about it

“what exactly is your problem with me?”

Keith, who had been practicing his bending, scowls. “I don’t have a problem with you.”

you scoff, leaning against a rock. “your attitude towards me strongly suggests otherwise.”

Keith crosses his arms. “why do you care, anyway? it’s not like you’re settling in here or anything. you’ll be gone soon enough, right?” thwack, against the ground. a pillar shoots up beside you, barely scraping against your skin. you merely glare back at him. 

“maybe I’ll stay. just to fuck with you.”

Keith rolls his eyes, but for the first time you see him smile. just a little bit.

after that, your interactions with Keith go a lot smoother. 

you didn’t intend to stay as long as you ended up doing, and you know it’s dangerous – your father is still looking for you, after all

you know staying this long is probably a bad idea, and yet you do it anyway

you try not to think too much about the reason why, though you know why, of course.

you spend your days with him, practically – help around his family’s farm, run errands, et caetera 

playful strangers grow into friends – and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about being more than that

but the longer you stay, the more restless you become.

half of you feels like you’re wasting time, like you should have been in Ba Sing Se by now; who knows what you’ve missed

the other half is screaming, fuck the war, fuck it all, you could just stay here and keep using this fake name and this fake identity and pretend everything is all right and maybe you’ll get to be happy for a while before you die

but that’s not you. that’s not who you are as a person. 

why did you run from the palace? your family? to live the rest of your life out in hiding in a small Earth Kingdom town, pretending the world isn’t on fire?

you’re going to have to leave eventually. not only just to get to Ba Sing Se quicker, but also to protect Keith

he has no idea!! poor boy has No Clue you could decimate him where he stands, because let’s face it; he’s a powerful earthbender, but you’ve been training since you were four with the very best teachers, sparring against opponents that would push you to your very limits, beating you down only for you to build yourself back up stronger than ever

it’s a harsh way of learning, and you wish you didn’t. but your skills are honed and it would be nothing but ignorant to deny them

and so, when the raid happens, part of you isn’t even surprised.

Keith jolts, eyes stormy. “Fire nation soldiers.”

you curse to yourself, gritting your teeth. “damn it.”

“stay home, Y/N. don’t hide. find money – that’s what they’re here for, anyway –”

you shake your head. “no, it’s not.” 

Keith blinks, just as the loudest of the soldiers shouts, “we know you’re here, Y/N! Come out, come out, wherever you are!” 

these aren’t ordinary soldiers. too chaotic, too energetic. bountyhunters. just as dangerous, just as deadly. 

you clench your jaw, turning back to Keith. his eyes are brewing with confusion, and you run a hand through your hair, smiling sadly. “I’m sorry, Keith. I should have known about this.” you did, a voice says. you did, and you still stayed.

“Y/N–” a fake name, the name you’ve been using on your journey; fake, fake, fake – “what are you talking about?”

“YOUR HIGHNESS! ARE YOU GOING TO LET THIS WHOLE TOWN BURN? WE WILL FIND YOU. IT WILL BE IN VAIN.” there are explosions, screaming, fire – flames, licking at the sides of buildings, crawling high into the sky… 

you cast one last look at Keith. his confusion has morphed into anger. betrayal. you understand; of course you do. 

it still hurts.

“I’m sorry.” you won’t even have time to grab your stuff. “keep them safe.”

he doesn’t respond, and you don’t give him time to respond as you tear across the street, letting your own fire free for the first time in weeks. a couple short, controlled bursts, aimed at the biggest and baddest hunter of them all – they don’t hurt him that much, but you hadn’t counted on that. you just needed to get their attention, which you did. 

in passing, you put out fires where you can, the technique one you’ve perfected over the years, to the point where you barely need to slow down as you race past burning houses, taking the flames with you as you run

and you steal a mount, and you just keep going and keep going, knowing they’ll come after you – burning a village is fun, but you’re the big prize, after all – and you hear them, and you keep going, keep going, keep going

eventually you lose them.

you spend that night in the forest, and you cry, scold yourself for being an idiot, cry some more. 

it won’t help. it won’t change anything. they all probably hate you by now, even though you tried to minimise the damage. you could have prevented it, if only you hadn’t been so selfish

well. you smile bitterly. once a spoiled royal brat, always a spoiled royal brat.

the next morning, you set off once more.

half a year later, the war is over. 

you got to Ba Sing Se in time. after some trouble, managed to get an audience with the King, and after even more trouble convinced him you truly were on his side; though you think he only really started to believe you when you almost got killed carrying out an intel collection mission to protect your partner.

(no more deaths on your conscience.)

the victory doesn’t feel as exhilarating as it should, even though (you’re not going to lie) it does feel pretty good

images of your past mistakes flash before your eyes. so many more lives you could have saved, with one choice only…

“Your Highness? the parade is waiting.”

ah, yes. the parade. 

“I’ll be right there.”

“the Earth King was very adamant on your presence.”

“just a moment.”

gathering your thoughts, preparing to fully become Y/N for the first time in a year. no more fighting, no more death. no more hiding.

the Earth King’s speech is moving. you let him speak on purpose, not wanting to take away from the Earth Kingdom victory. you’d expected more backlash from his announcement that he’ll be working to establish a solid relationship with the Fire Nation, which is currently under your rule (a role you assumed out of necessity, not desire for power), but the reactions seem to be fairly positive

the day floats by – or rather, you float through it. when, at the end of the day, you start making preparations to return to your own Nation, to start ruling as Firelord from its throne, a familiar voice calls your name, you freeze

“Y/N, eh?”

leaning against the wall stands Keith, looking only mildly impressed

you put on your most hautain expression. “that’s Firelord Y/N to you, boy.” 

he looks at you, conflict in his eyes, and you look at him, wondering if you crossed the line – 

but then he laughs, the sound like music to your ears, and something bursts in your chest as you join in.

“you seem to have made quite the impression.”

“indeed, it would seem that way.” 

his arms feel like home, in the best way possible. you sit side by side, catching up – you try to explain why you did what you did in the biggest possible lines, but you don’t know whether your point is getting across. 

if someone were to look out of their window right now, they would see the Firelord and some random man sitting with their backs against stone walls, shoulders pressed together, talking like equals.

you finally work up the courage to ask the question that’s been playing in your mind for months. “are you angry at me? for staying?” 

he sighs. “I was. right after you left. I felt used and lied to and betrayed. but I understand why you did it.” he smiles, nudges you with his elbow. “and, well. you ended the war, didn’t you? so it was worth it, in the end.”

you lean your head back, close your eyes. “how many people got hurt because of me?”

“there were some injuries, but none fatal. and you put out a majority of the fires before they could do too much damage.” you crack open an eye in surprise, and Keith laughs. “yeah, I saw that. you’re a powerful bender, Y/N.” 

“so are you.” 

“you fooled me for weeks.” you wince, but he doesn’t sound angry. when you sneak a sideways look at him, he’s staring right back at you. 

“I’m sorry.”

“it’s okay.”

“is it, though?” the guilt that you’d managed to suppress for a while now comes back in full force, and you rub the bridge of your nose. 

“at the moment, maybe not.” he shifts, and his fingers ghost over yours – you could swear they linger. “but I think you’ve made up for it.”

your mount is getting restless, and you pat his flank. “I know this is probably the worst reunion ever, but I really should get going. I have a whole Nation to rule.”

Keith’s eyes twinkle in the way you’ve since learned to adore. “you know what? I think you should stay.”

[pyrefell]

Headcanons for some of the boys? Namely horrorfell, underswap and underfell?

you let me off my child leash and i honestly wasn’t even really sure where to even start here, so you get some pretty general headcanons. i have a lot to say about underfell and horrorfell,,,

UNDERSWAP:

IN ALL HONESTY, Underswap is currently one of my least developed AU interpretations. I'm still just really indecisive. BUT! I do have some stuff that I'm fairly set on.

Papyrus:

Never really grew out of the shyness he had as a babybones, he’s always had a much more outgoing brother to hide behind. 

He's the one that designed the puzzles in Snowdin! Puzzles are still one of his special interests in this AU. (Sans gets really excited to tell anyone that asks that his Very Cool little brother designed them.) 

He's fairly low to mid (but consistent) energy. He tries (and usually succeeds) to act all chill but he gets really excited about some things and can reach True Papyrus levels of loud. 

He and Undyne are still friends in this AU! He doesn't go to see her super often because. Hotland. But when they are together, it's pretty chaotic. They like to design things a la Mickey's Dick Smasher. 

Man, he's sure been feeling a lot of deja vu lately. Huh, wonder what that's all about. :)

Sans:

He’s still the Judge! And he's still the one that has to deal with the ever shifting and resetting timeline. It's...really starting to take a toll on him, but what's the point in telling anyone? They won't remember and besides, who's going to believe him anyways? 

He was always fairly outgoing and bubbly but he took on an even more bubbly persona kind of unconsciously to overcompensate for and hide how Tired he is now. 

Sans is just about the opposite of his brother energywise. He's full of energy for short bursts and then he sleeps for hours. He's started sleeping more since everything with the timeline started. It's not the best sleep but he’s just...so tired nowadays. 

Still completely willing to eat condiments for a joke (or a """joke"""). He eats mayonnaise by the handful. Does it mostly to embarrass (and disgust) Papyrus. 

Genuinely enraged by people who think he's young. Sure, he may be only a few inches over 5', but he's a Wide Boy. And not a naïve child, he's the older brother, thank you very much. Haven't you heard his voice? What kid has a voice that deep? 

UNDERFELL: 

One general headcanon I have is that they both have DT in their systems. Gaster gave them injections when they were still very young babybones in the sterile lab and they’d started mysteriously falling down. He’s not really a bad guy there, he wanted to save them. Of course, it’s probably got it’s side effects, right? After all the Bromalgamate and Comic Papyrus exist. :)

Their relationship is...strained. They definitely still love each other and would fight to the death for the other but they don't really talk. They both blame each other for how the other turned out, how they act.

Papyrus:

He’s blind in his scarred socket! He first got the wound when he was still pretty little and because he and Sans were still living out on the streets, he wasn’t able to get any real kind of medical care. It’s still pretty fragile but there’s really not a whole lot that can be done anymore. 

He can cook! Like, really well, actually. Grillby taught him when he was younger. He’s particularly good at cooking with whatever’s already in the house. 

I think he still wants to believe everyone can change and be good if they try. Though, whether he actually believes that anymore is kind of debatable. And I  think that he doesn’t really enjoy all the fighting. He doesn’t take any real pride or joy in what he's become. He really wanted (and still wants) to actually protect monsters. 

There's a square of fabric on his scarf that's from a well-loved blanket he'd had as a babybones. It still brings him some semblance of comfort when he needs it. 

He's well aware of timelines. Well okay, 'well aware' isn't exactly the right way to put it. He can't put a name to what's happening, why he can remember things that haven't happened yet or have happened at all. He at one point attempted to keep a journal about it all but it was gone the next reset. He'd like to talk to Sans about it, but given how their relationship is... 

Sans:

He’s got 3 golden teeth, he got hit pretty good almost directly on those teeth around the same time Papyrus got his scar. They were really loose after that but didn’t actually come out until later. 

Most still see him as free EXP. He doesn't get attacked as much anymore but the times he has, he's been able to suffice on just dodging until Papyrus shows up. He could just as easily fight back, but he's decided there could be some benefit to hiding what he can do for just a bit longer. Besides, he'd rather not place any more targets on their backs. 

He knows how to sew! He learned completely out of necessity when they were both young. They only had so many pieces of clothes, after all. He's the one who sewed the little square of Papyrus's blanket into his scarf. 

King of eavesdropping. Despite his stature (and who his brother is for that matter), he's surprisingly good at going unnoticed. He tends to play like he's completely shitfaced and passed out at Grillby's, just in case someone lets something slip. 

They both blame themselves for how the other turned out but Sans has it bad. He's supposed to be the older brother, right? He was supposed to keep Papyrus safe and stars, did he do a shit job at it, even if there were some things he just couldn't do anything about. 

HORRORFELL: 

OKAY SO, my Horrorfell doesn't start the same way the normal Horrortale AU starts. The short version is that Frisk doesn't fall until YEARS after they normally would have and they fall with Aliza. The Famine devastated the Underground. Frisk's left to try and figure out why they didn't fall when they should have and why they can't remember anything that happened during those years between. They have to balance keeping themselves and Aliza alive and trying to get through to at least Sans, who, while his memory is terrible he knows he's supposed to be pissed at them. They left the Underground to rot. I think that's all y'all really need lmao. I'm definitely going to write about Horrorfell, in fact I've already started something about it

ANYWAYS! On to the headcanons for the Boys. These two are so ride or die now it’s almost unreal. They’ve had a lot of time to air out their grievances and have the years worth of fights with each other. They work together so much better now and it comes in handy for both protecting each other and hunting. They're the most efficient and successful hunters in the Underground. 

Papyrus:

He’s effectively completely blind at this point. He needs coke bottle lenses to see. He ends up completely depending on his hearing and sense of smell when he's hunting. Despite his failing eyesight, he remains the best chef in Snowdin after Grillby's disappearance. He's always sure to use as much as he possibly can. 

His new stature has made it incredibly difficult to get into most buildings. He often ends up walking on all fours and his magic's started to adjust his body for that. He doesn’t recognize himself so much anymore. 

While Sans was comatose, Papyrus spent his time trying to ration out food, attempting to keep the peace for the denizens of Snowdin and caring for Sans. He'd continued to cut his own rations not only for the rest of Snowdin but for Sans too when he hopefully wakes up. 

He'd managed his way out to the rest of the Underground with his own brand of 'shortcut' earlier on despite the lockdown in Snowdin. Some say they'd seen him but no one's really sure if that's true and if it is, how did he get out? Can he do it again and maybe talk some sense into the Empress? They used to be friends, right? 

His memory is also not very good. He and Sans keep a big whiteboard in the kitchen with pertinent information and there's a calendar in every room with all the past dates marked off, just in case someone forgets. 

Sans:

The reason why the hole in his skull is so big and leads into his nasal cavity is because of preexisting cracks. Undyne really didn't mean to hit him! Really, she didn't... 

The selfish part of him almost wishes the DT in him hadn't kept him around, but he can't bring himself to really want that. He can't leave Papyrus alone, especially not now. 

His relationship with Frisk is...tense to say the least. When he first saw them, he didn't fully process who they were but he felt nothing but rage. He doesn't really believe what Frisk's saying when they claim they can't remember anything. Their relationship could absolutely mend, there's just so many roadblocks at the start. 

Seeing as he can't reliably use his shortcuts anymore, he's not as efficient a hunter as he could be. But that doesn't mean he isn't extremely deadly. The brothers are revered for the effectiveness, after all. 

He's developed some pretty nasty coping habits, most of which involve some kind of self harm either intentional or not. Papyrus tries his best to limit it, but he's not the best either.

[strawbrrysun287]

Office Chaos #1

Hi everyone!! Recently I got into writing again and decided to cross post on here and AO3! If you take the chance to read it I hope you enjoy it <3 This will be part of a series of one shots! Happy Reading <3<3<3

If there was one thing Seokjin could safely say, it was that he was a confident gay. He would always throw a wink or a kiss to baristas, those who held the door open for him, or just anyone within the distance of him if he was feeling particularly playful.

That being said he was also openly gay. In no way shape or form was he afraid or worried about showing the person he truly was. Be it soft pink off-the-shoulder sweaters, a pair of heeled boots that made his bum look like it was carved by the gods (fun fact: it was), or even a black shirt with pastel lettering literally saying (I’m Gay, Suck It).

This was amazing for his social and love life because there was no confusion platonically or sexually. However, a certain middle-aged squat ugly fuckwad who was too dense to realize sooner Seokjin’s sexuality despite all the signs decided to fire him solely for Seokjin giving a customer, a fellow gay, his number.

In his defense, the customer was cute, was hitting on him, and was even interested and gave his own number to Seokjin as well. So all in all, who could blame Seokjin? He was young, horny, and single.

But back to the original issue. He was fired for being himself which led him to where he is now. Walking down the busy streets of Seoul heading to some gaming design company for an interview as a personal assistant to the CEO. It was a major jump from a barista to PA but he had experience… in high school, he was student council president, led three clubs, and even fixed their student budget so that way they could throw a fun concert/overnight party for the graduates.. Okay, maybe that one was a little selfish. It was still experience though! College didn’t exactly go as planned but he still was involved in the radio station and another club… although he couldn’t for the life of him remember what the club was about.

As he arrived in front of the building he could feel his heart beating against his rib cage just the tiniest bit more. He was confident though, he could do this. It would be a breeze. Throw a wink or kiss at whoever was interviewing him, talk about his experience, talk up himself and his abilities, then leave with the job and start the following Monday.

Walking inside of the building left him just the slightest breathless. Fuck. Who designed this building? Who PAID for the building? Or the interior decorating? As he tried calculating it in his head he vaguely heard someone clearing their throat but didn’t pay it any attention. After a few more minutes he finally snapped out of his calculations when the throat-clearing wouldn’t stop. He was two seconds from shoving a glass of water down the person’s throat only to look around and realize the throat-clearing had been directed at him.

With a guilty smile flashed towards the main receptionist, Seokjin finally made his way up to the desk gripping the strap of his bag even tighter.

“Kim Seokjin? I’m here for an interview with a Mr. Kim? For his personal assistant?” Despite the flash of nervousness when he was caught staring into space he quickly put the confident smile back on. The receptionist seemed less than pleased though.

“Elevator down the hall to the right. Floor 35. Park Jimin will help you from there. Try not to stare off into space again, yes?” With a sinister smirk, the lady lifted her hand just to point down the hallway and Seokjin took that as a dismissal which is exactly what it was. It didn’t stop him from mumbling down the hallway the whole time though.

“Honestly? With that kind of attitude, it’s amazing someone hasn’t dumped their coffee over her by… accident... “ Once inside the elevator he hit the button for the 35th floor and listened to the boring music as the numbers flashed above the elevator doors showing what floor it just passed. Once the doors opened for the 35th floor he took a deep breath and stepped out.

Immediately he noticed an adorable guy, younger than him with bubblegum pink hair and the cutest smile when his eyes crinkled. Okay, maybe this place wasn’t all bad. That was until he heard a deep voice shouting, seemingly the pink-haired man’s name if the way his head snapped over was any indication, and then there was a body colliding with his sending him straight to the floor with the other man on top of him.

“Kim Taehyung!! You need to watch where you are going!!” Pink-haired guy’s voice rang out. Seokjin wouldn’t be surprised if the entire floor didn’t hear the shrill yell. Which seemed plausible as there were four other heads that poked out from different rooms like little peeping parrots. Well, this was turning out to be quite the impression to leave on the people he would hopefully soon be working with.

“Sorry, Jiminie! But!! We got the house! I just got the email and we can close on the house today but we have to be there within the next hour!”

“Taehyung I swear on Yoongi’s new laptop th-”

“Don’t be swearing on my things Park Jimin! I will skin you alive!!” A voice seemingly coming from nowhere yelled in offense.

“... that you better be telling the truth or else I will make you sleep our on the balcony for the rest of the week.”

“It’s real. Like really real. The realest real you can really real kind of real! But we have to GO. NOW!”

“Okay okay! Fuck. I gu-.. Oh… Hello there. I uh… kinda forgot you got thrown to the ground in the process. I hope you aren’t injured? No injuries right? Taehyung can’t afford to be sued we are closing on a house today. Uh… if I make Namjoon Hyung give you the job would you be willing to forget this entire mess? He still owes me because of that ridiculous picture I took of him a few weeks ago when he decided to get shit-faced.”

It was official. Seokjin clearly hit his head too hard on the floor and now he was in some kind of dream drama. Shouldn’t the drama involve some super hot guy? A best friend who has his own issues but they support each other no matter what? What about the chaotic couple who he questions how they are still alive? Well… he might have found the chaotic couple. But that didn’t mean anything else. Once he realized he was being spoken to he had to blink a couple of times in order to clear his head and only vaguely caught the end.

“You… you would force your boss to give me the job just so I don’t sue the guy who knocked my ass to the ground? What if I tell you I wasn’t planning on suing him anyway? Although it did kind of hurt but if you could still get your boss to give me the job that would be fantastic and I would kiss the floor you walk on because this job is desperately needed and I’m too handsome to be walking from building to building begging for a job.”

Finally getting up from the ground he rubbed the back of his head where it hit the floor before fixing the wrinkles in his shirt. As he finished getting straightened (HA) out again another deep voice that was almost addicting echoed from down the hall along with heavy footsteps and deep down Seokjin just KNEW that the person coming towards him was the big boss. AKA the one who would hopefully be signing his checks if he got the job. Before he could utter a single word bubblegum hair spoke up again.

“Namjoon Hyung! This is Kim Seokjin, your new personal assistant. Long story short, Me and Tae got the house but in his excitement he kind of barreled into your new assistant here and sent him hurtling towards the floor, and because I’m a good honest person I told him I would assure him the job.”

Namjoon stared at bubblegum hair, Jimin?? In what seemed like absolute boredom like this was a daily occurrence. Well then again, it might be. Things were already more than a little chaotic but chaos is where Jin thrived.

“Jimin. You can’t just give people jobs because Taehyung knocked them down. You have so far given away a car, an apartment, a date, a fashion shopping spree, and part of your investment in the company which I was thankfully able to get back all because Tae didn’t watch where he was going. You know, apologizing in a HEARTFELT way will do the job nine out of ten times.”

“Okay you may speak some facts but I already gave the job to Seokjin and I already read over his resume. He seems like he can tolerate you well enough and you need an assistant to start ASAP because Tae and I have to go sign for the house okay hyung? Make sure you show him the ropes and don’t fuck it up! Bye!!”

With that Seokjin and Namjoon stared as Jimin dragged Taehyung along into the elevator with a cheeky smile and flirty wave before the elevator doors closed on the image that left the pair sputtering.

“Well… I guess they won’t be back till tomorrow afternoon. At least all my morning meetings are finished so I shouldn’t have to worry too much. Ah. Kim Seokjin-sii I apologize for the uh..”

“Chaos?” Jin supplied with a cheeky grin of his own.

“I suppose that is the best possible term for what happens on the 35th floor. Since Jimin already gave you the job I am in no way able to deny it and if I’m being honest I am in desperate need of an assistant as all my paperwork is piling up and I’m not sure where the mailroom is or where the place I normally get coffee from is and the coffee here is made by my director of media and he makes it as black as his soul is what he says at least and no amount of sugar makes it any better.”

And that’s when it happened. When Jin went from being the confident flirty gay to the shy flustered panicked gay that he always read about in stories. Namjoon smiled and he had dimples. Fucking dimples. There was no way the man standing in front of him was real. Tall, handsome, successful, understanding, kind, big hands, muscled if the fabric fighting for its life stretched over Namjoon’s biceps and thighs were anything to go by, and he had fucking D I M P L E S. Who did this Kim Namjoon think he was? God? Actually, that may be true. It wasn’t until he realized he was about to suffocate did Seokjin exhale the air he was holding in before stuttering out a hasty reply.

“Assistant? Now? Like now now? Me? For you? Coffee? I’m good with coffee and with paperwork. Yeah. I can 100% do that for you, Mr. Kim. And there is no need for formalities you can just simply call me Jin as I will be working closely with you. With you. Closely. Working. Yeah. Now?”

Seokjin knew the second the last syllable left his mouth that he was an idiot. A certified idiot who shouldn’t be allowed to be the personal assistant for a business of Namjoon’s caliber but like hell, he was going to give up the opportunity to get to know the taller man and completely wow him. Fuck was he even gay? It didn’t even matter. He could figure that out later down the line but first…

“Just tell me where to sign Mr. Kim and we can begin our new… partnership as boss and assistant. I promise I’ll do everything to learn the ropes quickly to help make your life a little less hectic.”

“Namjoon is just fine Jin. Even though I’m your boss I like to keep a close relationship with those who work close with me. You will find everyone on this floor is on a first name basis and the chaos is real and alive everyday.” And there were those fucking dimples again.

Maybe Seokjin needed to send a gift basket to his homophobic ex-boss because this new adventure at Kim. Co was going to be fun.

Chaos and all.

[ikemen-matchups]

@oikame​

hello there~! of course i’ve decided to come in and see what you’d have for me~ do you mind me asking for a mlqc match-up, please? i’m curious to see what you’d say! you already know a lot about me, but i’m gonna leave the incoherent ton of info anyway, pff— i’m sorry it turned out so longish— 

heterosexual gemini female, isfp, slytherin & chaotic neutral. my style is edgy, but leaning towards casual, too. i like interesting accessories, details and aesthetics!

many people say that my initial vibe is pretty intimidating, or at least reserved and mysterious. though, around my friends i am more relaxed and chill, and love to laugh and crack jokes! i also tease a lot~.

but i am, in fact, a reserved person — it takes me quite some time to open up about my honest feelings and to trust someone. that makes me quite a hermit; i’m on good or neutral terms with many people, but i have just a handful of friends i consider close.

i can be lazy and uninterested, but when something piques my interest or when i’m challenged, i can be a very, very stubborn one! i’m opinionated, but i always try to see a bigger picture and imagine the story from different angles — in that way, i consider myself a very realistic person. i used to be more confrontational in the past, and these days i’m more passive. i try to be tolerant, but i can also get annoyed and irritated easily. i am a ‘forgive but don’t forget’ type of person.

i’m extremely curious and have wide palette of interests, some of which are medicine, botany, arts, astronomy, astrology, and such. i love to explore and learn, and i like activities like hiking. spiritual topics are also my thing, and i simply love to think and wonder. i may like to bake, but the domestic jobs in general aren’t my jam. i also get bored very easily!

i like to be helpful, and my self-worth is defined by being useful or making other smile, so i like giving gifts to my friends, even if it’s just buying them their favourite chocolate bar or so. that ‘giving’ trait of mine is not quite well known, though, and i suppose that it is because of my initial personality that people consider me rather selfish and self-centred instead.

my love language is definitely physical touch, along with giving gifts or acts of service. i’m pretty much touch starved — i will kiss, hug, even bite someone shamelessly and out of endearment ( i can be the tough love kind ). in those terms, i’m more of a ‘actions speak louder than words’ person, as i find it embarrassing and shallow to say 'i love you’ often or too soon. i will be poetically affectionate, though.

in terms of romantic interests and relationships, i’m someone who appreciates communication, trust and intellectual bond along with the physical one. i’m also not a fan of people who are uncertain in terms of their feelings or are unreliable as partners.

i hope this is okay? thank you very much in advance and take your time with this~!

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hey! sorry for the wait !! but, hopefully it’ll be worth it.

also, no worries on how much you send in; it gives me a lot to work with & i appreciate you spending the time to do so. i’m so excited to match you up; i hope you like your matchup ! ;’) before moving on, i just want to say your writing is so amazing & i got inspired by you to do this blog in the first place. much love for you ! without further ado …

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i match you up with … 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍  !!

not gonna lie, i had such a tough time deciding between shaw & lucien, and ultimately lucien won out in the end. i know shaw is your favorite, but i feel like lucien would end up being such a great match with you.

(even though he’s a scorpio to your gemini) !

anyway, the whole vibe of your personality seems like it’d mesh well with lucien– i wish i could have a straightforward reason as to why, but here are just my thoughts!

lucien is canonly a genius, so i without doubt believe that he’s a slytherin-ravenclaw mix in terms of house, and that’d honestly pair well with your slytherin house.

not to go too much in depth about this small factor, but … with this match, i feel there’s nothing in world that can stop you both as that dynamic duo … your bright minds & perspectives bring a whole new level to anything you set your eyes on.

since both of your ambitious & clever personalities will mesh well, you guys become a total power couple. you support & encourage each other’s success whilst working hard to do better.

you’ll become equals, and probably will push each other to be your best selves- i feel you’ll always be learning from each other & that’s huge for relationships.

onto personality, seeing that you both are more the introverted types; trust is a major factor. it’s something that is earned over time and you both attest to that fact.

i feel you guys will initially be guarded around each other given that you both don’t trust easily. however, once you guys bestow trust in each other … not to be trite but that trust literally cannot be broken. you will both be so so loyal to each other & it will be so wholesome?? 

the kind of loyalty that’s like top tier-

in your relationship, you guys stress the small details, and those small acts of kindness toward one another is most definitely appreciated by both parties. whether it be something as simple as refilling tea or something as grandiose as a homemade gift or maybe even homemade cooking, you both want each other to be happy.

anyway, lucien will be intrigued by your mysterious & reserved personality. perhaps in passing, he’ll be aware of how onlookers regard you as intimidating or maybe even standoffish. but like with anything, he knows there’s more to people than meets the eye. he dismisses the rumors, and will see for himself what you are like. in turn, he will see you as someone he’d want to get to know beyond face value. 

and boy, he won’t regret it.

your genuine kind personality becomes endearing to him. he thinks it’s so admirable how selfless you are; it kind of stuns him how you strive to make others happy without asking anything in return or having an ulterior motive. and on top of that, your kindness is genuine; you aren’t putting on a facade?? he’s lowkey amazed & also intrigued by that fact. on that note, lucien is hella observant, so you better believe that he takes note of this helpful & kind trait of yours right away.

he studies people, which, as a result, i think his interest will be piqued by your overall kind but sometimes very stubborn demeanor (he finds this side of you absolutely adorable though). but then he will come to terms to the fact you’re not someone who he should just observe, but rather someone he should get to know without this overly thinking & observing mindset of his?? if that makes sense. 

he might loosen up is what i’m trying to say- which isn’t something he’s used to i don’t think.

so… you’re looking for an intellectual bond? who better than lucien? i feel you both will never tire of having conversation and perhaps banter with one another; conversation just flows easily, due to your wide array of interests & his seemingly bottomless pit of knowledge. i feel like given both your big-brain personalities, you guys could have intellectual repartee or just stimulating conversations about anything.

you could talk about astronomy to botany to arts– anything – and lucien will always have something to add to fuel your mind. even with that fact, hearing your perspective is quite important to lucien; it may not appear like he does, but trust me, he’ll take it in with that gentle smile on his face.

he loves it when you get excited about these topics. your passion for learning about a myriad of topics is riveting. and also infectious??

seeing that you get easily bored, lucien will go out of his way to be up-to-date with the topics that particularly interests you, and he’ll be down to do any of those things.

like, hiking dates ?? he’ll be down & will be so prepared for anything that may occur. he’ll research the best places for hiking with the perfect scenic view.

in fact, you’ll probably be a little shocked as to how considerate & thoughtful he can be when it comes to you. he doesn’t do those kind of things if he doesn’t adore you just sayin ! 

also, intellectual debates between you two that turn into outright flirting? that’s definitely a thing. lucien has a teasing side if i can recall correctly, so … the prospect of him trying to fluster you with his wording?? oh, it happens, and you’ll probably be like “game on” & so, it just becomes a competition who can fluster each other the most !!  or something along those lines.

ngl, some people will be amazed at how you guys seem to never tire of excitedly relaying or debating information. but they have to give it to you guys; learning & attaining knowledge is a normal thing for you. after all, there’s boundless of things to learn-

you both delve into the more deep talks as well– even if it’s an ungodly hour. i don’t think you guys know a sleep schedule tbh? nonetheless, you probably both accept this fact & enjoy each other’s company immensely. 

anyway- those late-night conversations just hit different, and i can imagine you’re just talking to each other like there’s no one else in the world. 

furthermore, lucien will be more vulnerable at this hour, and maybe more touchy-feely when it’s just the two of you who are up. he probably realizes this, but he can’t help it. you’re just so precious to him; can’t keep his hands to himself when you’re right there !!

he definitely will sate your touch-starved needs especially at night to early early morning. he especially likes to observe the reactions he evokes by doing so, and he’ll quickly pinpoint your weak points (or even ticklish spots–). lucien your mischievous side is showing. 

your smiles, your giggles, your laughs, your cute face when you’re stubbornly trying to prove your point … it’s everything- he just lives for your adorable reactions (even if he teases you). 

generally, he’s not big on pda, but i have a feeling that if he’s feeling somewhat possessive of you, he’ll be quick to show off how you’re taken vis a vis a knowing kiss on the lips or an obvious wrap around your waist to keep you to him. his actions honestly vary based on how much he’s feeling jealous-

in the end, however, he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. he’ll try to keep his jealous urges at bay- but at the same time, he has a protective streak.

to conclude, you’re a great match together given your personalities & interests & passions !!  you’ll honestly be that couple where people will go “oh yeah that makes sense” because you’re literally, as mentioned before, a power couple. since there’s no such thing as perfection, there -perhaps- will be some bumps in the road with things like miscommunication & such, but you both end up making up & become stronger than before. there’s so much potential for you both in this relationship & i stan for it all.

possible runner-ups: 

shaw

victor

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 — lily ! ♡

[gittetj]

by no means is this an excuse for shou's mom, and tbh you've probably sucked up all the information on her you could already, but i remember that when she had her final convo w toichirou, he said that 'shou is starting to show interest in my powers, too' so it's possible she was under the impression that shou was happier living with his father? like, we don't know shou's age at that time but i think it was before he realized his dad was kinda a shitlord. and maybe by the time he realized it 1/2

You’re most welcome to start a discussion about Shou’s mom, she’s an interesting character to speculate about! Now look, you made me go off with receipts and everything haha

Have I ever said anything about Shou’s mom here, other than that comment about how I didn’t think it was forgivable for her to leave her son behind? Well, I still don’t think it is, but she’s just a human being, I don’t consider her inherently bad or good. Even though I can’t find it in me to defend her actions I can still understand the reasoning that might have led to them and how she might have felt about it.

Anyway, it’s not so much the fact that she left that gets to me, it’s the fact that she stayed absent. Leaving I can understand, leaving for a while might have been smart, might have given her some space to consider her situation and show Touichirou that she was serious about not tolerating the path he’d gone down. And it didn’t seem like she or Shou were in danger; as far as I can read there has never been anything in canon suggesting Touichirou was violent or even particularly controlling toward his family (until he beats Shou up and tries to kill him in the WD arc of course).

Leaving Shou with his dad, who we know he looked up to at the time, seems like a pretty straightforward decision. Pulling the kid out of his normal daily routine while everything was still chaotic and his mother wasn’t sure what to do and where to go probably wouldn’t have been in his best interest.

So far so good, but, let’s consider why she left at all.

She realized that Claw was (or was turning into, there’s some timeline stuff that doesn’t add up for me) a terrorist organization, right? She realized they were using violence and breaking the law to reach their goals. She realized that Touichirou was acting increasingly distant and anti-social even long, long before she left.

There’s a scene where Touichirou remembers her taking in a stray cat while Shou was just a baby, kind of to try and coax a caring side out of him. She was already worried about it back then. I operate with the belief that Shou was 7 or 8 when his mother left, it’s debatable, but he was at the very very least 5 - so 5+ years where she most likely continued to try and continued to fail at setting Touichirou straight.

She knew he was emotionally distant and ruthless and uncaring about anything or anyone else than his idea of an esper society. Judging from that one omake where Shou dreams of his mother crying because he was using his powers, she clearly didn’t associate esper powers with anything good.

Touichirou was obsessed with his powers and he spoke about Shou like he was going to grow up and follow in his footsteps, take on the same belief that espers are superior to other people.

As a caring, non-esper mother, does that sound like a man you want to raise your child? Does that sound like a good path for an impressionable 5- to 8-year-old kid? It sure as hell doesn’t sound like one to me. Whether Shou loved and looked up to his dad is completely irrelevant. Of course he did! He couldn’t possibly know any better at that age.

From there on, it all comes down to speculation, because, again, we know so little about Shou’s mom. My personal belief is that she was so disgusted by Touichirou’s actions that it extended to Shou. She came to a point where all she could see in Shou was a mini-Touichirou, so she just… let go of him. I suppose she thought if there was no way to change Touichirou, then there wouldn’t be a way to prevent Shou from becoming like him either.

Maybe giving up on it all was a gradual thing, maybe it didn’t happen until after she left. I think leaving was a spontaneous and mildly selfish action. Staying gone was a not at all spontaneous and highly selfish action.

She put herself first and left Shou behind. It’s that plain and simple. Sure, you have to save yourself first before you can save anyone else, but again, there is nothing suggesting she was in danger and she was in a sound enough state of mind to stand her ground and have a big argument with Touichirou before she vanished. No matter how I look at it I can’t think of anything redeeming to say about it. She knowingly left her very young son behind with an emotionally absent, dangerous, bad, bad man. So, there.

The way Touichirou speaks about her, it sounds like he hasn’t talked to Shou’s mom at all since she left. He didn’t even have any idea Shou had been in contact with her.

Look at him, does that look like the face of someone who had even considered the possibility that Shou’s mom was reachable?

For that reason I don’t believe it was the mother’s initiative to search out Shou; Shou must have made that happen himself. How long have they been in contact? Who knows. Long enough for them talking to each other to become a “from time to time” thing - I’d say a year at the very least.

At least a year where she hasn’t figured out something is wrong, hasn’t tried to pull Shou away from the situation he’s put himself in? Of course, we don’t know that she hasn’t tried to do something, but it sure doesn’t sound like it.

I personally don’t think Shou let her know anything about what was going on, I think he lied to her the whole time, let his mom think everything was fine, because deep down beneath the whole tear-Claw-down-and-save-the-world hero spiel, what Shou’s really trying to do is bring his parents back together so they can be the normal, happy family he vaguely remembers they once were - or at least likes to believe they were.

But, lies or not, it’s hard to believe that there wouldn’t be any signs for Shou’s mom to pick up on the fact that something was very, very wrong. Shou says she always asks about Touichirou, but since Shou has apparently managed to keep it from her what his dad was working toward, her questions must have been very superficial.

That situation at the end of the WD arc is the hardest to wrap my head around. Shou and his mom talk on the phone, he visits her sometimes, but she apparently takes no stock of what Shou’s doing the rest of the time, does little to no mothering, asks about Touichirou but doesn’t take it any farther than that. All of it just gives me the feeling she’s still really reluctant to engage with Shou at all.

So why does she keep up with it? I suppose she’s stuck between regretting her actions and wanting to make things right, and still not knowing what to do with her son who, at least in some ways, must have drifted quite far away from how his mom attempted to raise him when he was little.

I don’t think Shou’s mom ever wanted him out of his life, but her need to cut Touichirou and Claw off is bigger than her desire to hold on to her son. I think that was true when she left and I still think it’s true at the end of the WD arc.

If I’m gonna be really mean about it, I’d say Shou came into the world as a bargaining chip for his mom to try and make Touichirou change and maybe she’s trying to distance herself from that ulterior motive, too, because man, that’s not very nice… Maybe Shou subconsciously picked up on that and that’s why he’s so hellbent on proving to her that he can make his dad see reason.

I’m sorry, this is all very awful, but Shou’s mom just hasn’t done anything to make me think she isn’t as messed up as the rest of the family. Does it make her a terrible person to purposely overlook Shou’s issues and put herself first? I don’t know, but it definitely makes her a lousy mom.

Anyway. mp100 is all about change and overcoming past mistakes, so for Shou’s sake, let’s hope that applies to his mom, too.

And of course, this is just my interpretation of the situation.

[mobius-prime]

120. Sonic the Hedgehog #70

Saving Nate Morgan

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Steven Butler Colors: Frank Gagliardo

So about that grenade from last issue! Everyone's okay, Sonic tossed it up through the juice bar's skylight before it could explode on top of them. Sally has come back around from her bout of unconsciousness, and everyone is pissed that Nate has been kidnapped - especially Bunnie, whose pride has been severely bruised by losing in the fight. Together they rush to Castle Acorn, where the king and Geoffrey are still discussing the fact that the escaped prisoners are probably super dead.

Yeah, they're not dead. Geoffrey is irritated at Sonic for calling his information faulty, but Dr. Quack emerges at the perfect moment to inform everyone that one of the guards rescued from the island has reported a third missing shuttlecraft, one that didn't crash into the ocean. Elias suggests that they may simply be hiding out on the closest landmass to the Devil's Gulag, which just so happens to be Big Kahuna Island where we've seen them before, and Sonic readies himself to muster the fighting force of the Freedom Fighters when…

…*sigh*

This king, man. Every move he makes has me questioning his fitness to actually rule more and more. See, I get it. You don't necessarily want to breed a future of child soldiers solving every problem in the kingdom when they're supposed to be enjoying their, well, childhood. You want trained adults to handle the dangerous situations. But it's like he doesn't even want to recognize that these individuals all worked together not only to free the entire world of Robotnik's rule, but that they put in the effort specifically to rescue the king's sorry ass as well. Has he given them a single award? Any public recognition of their efforts in the war? He was certainly eager to put them on the task of helping rebuild the city before, but carelessly dismissed Sonic and Tails' success in hunting down a known enemy of the kingdom just a few issues before, and now that their friend has been captured - by people they have direct experience fighting from before, I might add - he's suddenly being a hard-ass. No, not only that - he's unceremoniously disbanding the very group that freed the kingdom and the entire world, without so much as a final thank-you ceremony or anything. Does he not care how crushing such an order would feel to the ones within that group? Just, ugh.

Hours later, the Secret Service approaches the island in a scrap submarine, ready to unleash their tactical strike and rescue the Overlander scientist… but of course, submarines are slow, and someone had a much better idea.

Seems everyone forgot that Sonic is A. stubborn as hell, and B. has a freakin' biplane. As he insists on coming along, the villains inside an abandoned courthouse (though why Robotnik would include a house of law in one of his cities given that he was a pure despot, I can't imagine) have stuck Nate into a very uncomfortable-looking stockade and are trying to force him to agree to provide his scientific services to them. Shockingly, he's not very interested in this generous offer. Outside, Geoffrey keeps trying to order Sonic around, with Sonic really not having it, and when Geoffrey tries to position his troops around the building to try to force the crooks to come out and surrender Sonic challenges him, saying that that will only encourage the group to use Nate as a hostage. Geoffrey shows his racist side by saying he doesn't care what happens to an Overlander, and Sonic, who's obviously here more to save his friend than re-apprehend the criminals, gets up in his face about it. As they get ready to start throwing punches, a nearby soldier yells at them to stop fighting.

How do you like your chain of command now, Geoffrey? Inside, Kodos, infuriated by Nate's continued refusal to cooperate, just straight up gets ready to behead him with his giant axe, because there's no kill like overkill, but at that moment Bomb rolls himself in, getting everyone's attention. He tries, and fails for some reason, to explode, but the distraction works, and at that moment the rest of the fighting force rushes in to rescue Nate.

And then we find ourselves in the middle of our fifth satellite sequence high above the planet. This one doesn't redirect any asteroids, but the mysterious hand that commands the satellite puts down a drink once it's finished with its work, a drink labeled "Robo Cola…" Geeeeeee, I wonder who this could be? I mean, okay, let's break it down. We know that Robotnik got straight up erased from existence in the Endgame finale, no doubts, no maybes, he's gone. But we also know that wasn't the first time he got zapped into another dimension and managed to make a comeback, either. The hand that's been directing all these mysterious orbital goings-on certainly looks like his hand, and with this unit being labeled R-SAT we're rapidly approaching all the letters we need to spell out Robotnik's name. But with how dramatic and intense his demise was in Endgame, I'd wager we're dealing with a situation that's a little more complex than a simple "he survived the explosion." I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?

As the battle begins inside the abandoned courthouse, Sonic frees Nate and hands him off to Elias to carry him to safety while he rejoins the fight, but before much else can happen, the building suddenly crumbles around them as a giant mutate squid with a robotic body emerges from the ground beneath them. See, West Robotropolis was once used by Robotnik as a staging ground for all sorts of weird experiments and research, and we're looking at one of the leftovers of that! Snively is caught in one of the monster's tentacles and starts screaming for Sonic to rescue him, and while Sonic considers this, Bomb, who has also been caught by the monster, this time manages to get his fuse to go off properly, blowing the squid up.

Ouch indeed. Snively, interestingly, is nowhere to be seen after the explosion, either among the recaptured prisoners or the escapees in the biplane. I wonder if he's actually…? Naaaahhh, I'm sure he's fine!

Statue of Limitations

Writer: Paul Castiglia Pencils: Chris Allan and Jim Amash Colors: Vickie Williams

So it appears that ever since he and Tails escaped Sand-Blast City, Sonic's been plagued by a strange nightmare. He dreams that he's flying over the city when his plane disintegrates, and he falls toward the statue of himself that he destroyed to escape, which is laughing at him. Every night he wakes up before he can fall into the mouth of the statue, but he recognizes eventually that it's a mental block of his own creation, and so this time, he keeps the dream going, falling through the statue's mouth to find out what's on the other side. And what's on the other side is… incredibly bizarre.

Even the clouds start forming in the shape of his face. He demands to know what's going on, and his fan up there, still somewhat starstruck, leads him through a crowd of Sonic worshippers and through a golden door to the hall of the Sonic Adventure Archivists, a group of people who chronicle his every heroic venture and obsess over the meaning of them.

This is actually a pretty funny nod to the whole thing where Sally was indeed supposed to die and become a martyr in the Endgame arc, as well as the whole will-they-won't-they the comic likes to set up between her and Sonic. Sonic wakes up from this dream in a cold sweat, and calls Tails to his room to have a chat, because if there's anyone who can help you face your inner demons in the middle of the night, it's a ten year old. Sonic admits that he's been feeling guilty over how he rushed out of Sand-Blast City before, leaving it open to attack from the Robians without bothering to try and save the inhabitants. The weight of being a hero is starting to become a little too heavy for him to bear alone, as he's not perfect and can't save everyone. Tails tells him that he doesn't have to be perfect, he just has to do the best he can, and cites Sonic's positive effects on his own life. Sonic, cheered somewhat, says that maybe he "can get used to being gray," a rather unexpectedly deep look on the whole hero thing if you ask me, especially for a comic of this caliber. Certainly Sonic has always been a gray hero - Chaotic Good, if you will - who while devoted to saving people and helping the world, can oftentimes act in selfishness and be a bit of a jerk to those who rub him the wrong way. It's interesting to see how his conflicting personality traits balance themselves out in situations like the one in Sand-Blast City, where the only way for him to escape confinement was to put everyone else in danger. He definitely experiences a lot more shades of gray as well as the comic continues on.

Anyway, the previous story's ending promised an especially bizarre issue coming up next, and while the next issue of this comic is certainly a weird one, we still have an arc of KtE to get through first! This one is particularly intense, and introduces one of my favorite villains in the comic, though not named yet…

[seyaryminamoto]

What do you think are the alignments of each important ATLA character, and why? (I'm eager to know your thoughts on this one :)

Uh… again, I’m not particularly good at this. But okay… I’ll be using this site as a reference.

Aang: Neutral Good. While we’d think he’s a Lawful Good because he would never hurt a fly intentionally… he did lie when necessary. He did mess around and did ridiculous, seemingly unnecessary things, for the fun of it. He defied authority even when he was in the Air Temples. According to the site I’m looking at: “Someone who is neutral with respect to law and chaos has a normal respect for authority and feels neither a compulsion to obey nor a compulsion to rebel. He is honest but can be tempted into lying or deceiving others.” While Aang is a very nice kid, and he really has good morals in general… he’s also guilty of a few deceptions. So I don’t think he’d be lawful. He’s not that uptight.Therefore, he gets Neutral Good. He’s a good person, but he’s not obsessed with following laws nor does he disregard them entirely.

Sokka: Neutral Good. :’D is everyone going to be neutral good? Maybe! Okay, no, they won’t xD but Sokka is definitely neutral good as far as I can tell. He has a mild rebellious streak, but at the same time respects authority figures (just look at how he behaves with Piandao). Also, and anyone can fight me on this, he’s up there with Aang in the contest for best moral compass in this show. “A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them.Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order.” So, he’s definitely Neutral Good.

Katara: Chaotic Good. “Chaotic characters follow their consciences, resent being told what to do, favor new ideas over tradition, and do what they promise if they feel like it.” Just… Pakku, anyone? Katara follows her impulses, her conscience, acts on her feelings, doesn’t hold back. Just how many times did we have episodes where Katara did what she thought was right, regardless of whether it was or wasn’t? In one episode she’s fighting injustice and cruelty, helping people out as best as she can, in the next one she’s freezing a pair of disrespectful kids against walls and smiling enigmatically when asked what she was doing. She’s out to kill Yon Rha and doesn’t care about the morality of the matter, she just wanted to kill him and took off to do it recklessly. “A chaotic good character acts as her conscience directs her with little regard for what others expect of her.” She… acts. She has a decent moral compass more often than not but has slip ups anyways. Still, she does try to be good, and always wants to help others. So… Chaotic Good it is.

Toph: hahahahaha Toph is one of the easiest. “A neutral character does what seems to be a good idea. She doesn’t feel strongly one way or the other when it comes to good vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most neutral characters exhibit a lack of conviction or bias rather than a commitment to neutrality. Such a character thinks of good as better than evil-after all, she would rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, she’s not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or universal way.” The ultimate True Neutral over here. Toph didn’t join the war because she wanted to do right by everyone, she did it to get out of her house and be free. She’s never really been invested in the war other than because her friends are fighting in it (the good neighbors :’D). “Neutral people are committed to others by personal relationships”, need I say more?

Zuko: Zuko is actually one of the reasons why this alignment chart is tricky. Not only because of how he changes throughout the show but… this guy is kind of trying to be Lawful but ends up being Chaotic? He’s… a mess. I’ve always said he’s one, but really, he is. He starts out Evil, no one’s going to change my mind about that. “"Evil" implies hurting, oppressing, and killing others.” Zuko, the firebending supremacist from the start of Book, 1 never gave a damn about who he was hurting or oppressing, yet resented everyone who hurt or oppressed him, remember? In the unaired pilot he actually did kill the Serpent from Serpent’s Pass, so the original concept of Zuko wasn’t that of a guy who wouldn’t kill.So, Zuko starts Good and shifts into Neutral by the end of the show (frankly… people can tell me he’s Good all they want, but: “"Good" implies altruism, respect for life, and a concern for the dignity of sentient beings.”? Is Mr. “KILL MY DAD, DON’T EVEN TRY TO FIND ANOTHER WAY TO END THE WAR!” good when you use that concept as a frame of reference? Sorry, but no. He went from Evil to Neutral, and I’m not changing my mind about that). When it comes to Chaos and Lawfulness… he really has a messy relationship with it all. He WANTS to be lawful, and heck, you’d think maybe when he “regains his honor” by the end of the show he really becomes lawful (though I think the comics killed that concept entirely). Zuko really… is Chaotic. As far as I can tell, he’s Chaotic. For further explanation: “A chaotic neutral character follows his whims. He is an individualist first and last. He values his own liberty but doesn’t strive to protect others’ freedom. He avoids authority, resents restrictions, and challenges traditions.” I find it an undeniable truth that Zuko was not only whimsical, but mostly selfish and out for himself, and that’s true to him at every point in the show. Just look at his run as the Blue Spirit: every single time he picked up that mask he was doing something FOR HIMSELF, and anyone who thinks he was playing the vigilante needs to brush up on what vigilantes are supposed to stand for. Zuko was getting what he wanted, and he discards the mask when he sets Appa free because the mask was an enabler that allowed him to do whatever he wanted without facing direct consequences. Getting rid of that mask meant his time as a renegade out to do whatever he pleased was OVER. He never took up that mask for anyone’s sake but his own.So, he’s goal oriented. He doesn’t bat an eyelash about how much it bothers Aang to have to kill someone, because why does the spiritual purity of this kid matter at all? What matters is for Ozai to be gone so someone else (Zuko or Iroh) can rule in his stead. That’s it. That’s the way Zuko’s brain works at the end of the show.Now, for the tricky part: “A chaotic neutral character does not intentionally disrupt organizations as part of a campaign of anarchy. To do so, he would have to be motivated either by good (and a desire to liberate others) or evil (and a desire to make those different from himself suffer).” A lot of people would say Zuko was absolutely motivated by good to liberate his people, or the rest of the world, from Ozai… but that’s not what I saw. What I saw, in Book 3, was a guy who decided to fight against his father, to join Aang, because yes, he saw the wrong in his father’s ways… but first off? He wanted to make good by Iroh again. Not in vain does he mention Iroh first of all when he’s telling Ozai what he’s going to do. Zuko’s true motivation, as far as I could see? It was Iroh. It wasn’t an innate desire to fix the Fire Nation, or else he would have been seen fighting to help his own people during Book 3 (ironic how the Gaang minus Zuko helped the Fire Nation more than he did during the start of this season, when it was the perfect opportunity for Zuko to see how his father’s rule was damaging his people just as much as it was damaging the rest of the world, and for him to decide to do something about it, for the Fire Nation’s sake as well as everyone else’s…). Zuko’s true motivation was the belief that Iroh had been right all along and that Zuko himself had been wrong. And to regain his Uncle’s love, he had to do what Iroh the Good would want him to do.Feel free to disagree, but I don’t think I’ll be changing my mind about this anytime soon. Book 1 Zuko is Neutral Evil, and Book 3 Zuko is Chaotic Neutral.

Suki: curiously… Lawful Good. “A lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished.” I really don’t see any definitions that suit Suki better. She’s honorable, she’s loyal, she’s practically the epitome of a good person. I can’t remember her doing anything… bad. Or even remotely questionable. She’s pretty much Lawful Good, as far as I can see.

Azula: maaaaaan this is going to be a mess…First off, basic definitions: “"Evil" implies hurting, oppressing, and killing others. Some evil creatures simply have no compassion for others and kill without qualms if doing so is convenient. Others actively pursue evil, killing for sport or out of duty to some evil deity or master.” Of all this, the ONLY parts that I think MIGHT suit Azula is the one I bolded. As we’ve debated endlessly, Azula never killed for sport, she doesn’t relish in murder. She only did what was necessary, and curiously didn’t try to murder anyone unless there was no other apparent choice, as was the case in the Crossroads of Destiny (and even then, she failed to kill the person she was targeting). Now, is Azula devoid of compassion? Yeah… I think the Beach proves otherwise. The expression on her face when Ty Lee is lashing out, she seems pretty worried that her laughter caused her friend’s outburst. The apology earlier, when she hurt Ty Lee’s feelings? Her attempt to help unravel why Mai’s represses her feelings so much… it wasn’t even an attempt to make fun of her, just to understand her better. And finally, how concerned she was, how willing she was to help Zuko discover what he was mad at? Ah, and this paired with her warning Zuko not to visit Iroh because he might end up in trouble for it (and he never stops, never faces consequences for this, ergo, Azula didn’t tell anyone, she merely wanted her brother to not risk falling out of their father’s good graces all over again). No doubt Azula isn’t the most compassionate human being ever, but I don’t think she’s entirely devoid of compassion. She’s just muffled it, suffocated it, and tries her best to be as ruthless as her father.Sure, she hurts people with comments, that’s something she’ll do. She has a sharp tongue and doesn’t hold back from teasing people however she pleases. But is that really enough to make her entirely evil? The real reason I consider Book 1 Zuko Evil is because he harmed both enemies and friends alike, knowingly and carelessly, including his own uncle, and because, unlike Azula, he was characterized, BY NICK’S OFFICIAL SITE, as a firebending supremacist during Book 1. Azula wasn’t portrayed that way, not by the show, not by that site. She was pleased to work with Dai Li agents, after all. She discarded a procession of firebending guards and chose to work with two non-benders instead. If she believes firebenders are the greatest thing ever, there’s quite a strong disconnect between her words and actions. She believes in the system she was born into, but I don’t think she believes only firebenders are worthwhile or else she wouldn’t have worked with the Dai Li, or Mai and Ty Lee, or learned from non-benders, Lo and Li. Sure, she did hurt/scare her friends, and she also hurt her brother and uncle (particularly when they were her enemies). But again… I think hurting others through sass isn’t really an act of evil. Else Toph would be evil too, wouldn’t she?But of course, haha, Azula doesn’t suit the Good alignment AT ALL. Like… I’m not even going to break that one down. No thanks. So, she’s Neutral for me, leaning more towards Evil than Good, but still more Neutral than Evil.As for Law vs. Chaos? Again… she’s just so damn tricky at this? Azula is Lawful when it comes to following the Fire Nation’s laws, I think. She’s loyal to her faction, she fights for her father, she shows no defiance of authority EXCEPT… when she lied to her dad. Turns out she has a mix of chaotic and lawful traits! :’D So… does that make her Neutral again? “Someone who is neutral with respect to law and chaos has a normal respect for authority and feels neither a compulsion to obey nor a compulsion to rebel. She is honest but can be tempted into lying or deceiving others.” … oh. So, um… I guess she’s either a True Neutral like Toph… or she’s too complicated for this chart! :’D But I guess she really fluctuates throughout the Neutral axis. Because… “A lawful neutral character acts as law, tradition, or a personal code directs her. Order and organization are paramount to her. She may believe in personal order and live by a code or standard, or she may believe in order for all and favor a strong, organized government.” It doesn’t sound all that wrong, does it? But Azula is also not unlikely to lie and deceive people… So she’s probably fluctuating between True Neutral and Lawful Neutral? Guh. I’m really a mess at this.

Iroh: going by our definitions… Iroh would be good. Yes, I don’t love the man and I certainly don’t think he’s pure good, but…: “"Good" implies altruism, respect for life, and a concern for the dignity of sentient beings. Good characters make personal sacrifices to help others.” While there are so many questionable things about Iroh and while I’m DEAD SURE he wasn’t always good, even the earliest Iroh is shown as a man who’s traveling with Zuko even if he probably could be doing something that makes him happier elsewhere. He’s following his nephew around, helping him, teaching him lessons, all because it’s the right thing to do, I guess. Which really just suits the line I bolded there. Iroh also sacrifices himself, allows the Dai Li and Azula to capture him, so Aang and Katara can escape. So yes, I think he’s a mess… but he’s good anyways.In regards of Law vs. Chaos… “"Chaos" implies freedom, adaptability, and flexibility. On the downside, chaos can include recklessness, resentment toward legitimate authority, arbitrary actions, and irresponsibility.” Iroh IS adaptable. He changes his way of life so many times through the show and he’s seldom shown suffering about it. Recklessness? Yes. Remember Book 1? Getting caught by Earth Kingdom soldiers because of those hot springs? Recklessness indeed. Resentment toward legitimate authority? He both defies Ozai’s rule throughout the show, and defies Zuko’s command of their mission in Book 1 as many times as he pleases. He seems to actually think himself above all authority. Arbitrary actions? “I lost my White Lotus tile, let’s derail our entire journey so I can buy a new one!”, anyone? How about “I’m going to make tea out of this flower even if it might just kill me!”? Yep. He’s definitely guilty of this. And irresponsibility? Not only did he not discipline Zuko on COUNTLESS occasions where he should have, which I find irresponsible, but: his behavior with June? His theft of the nuns? His heating the tea because it was cold even if it meant risking getting discovered?Iroh can join Katara’s camp, as far as I’m concerned: Chaotic Good, right here. “A chaotic good character acts as his conscience directs him with little regard for what others expect of him. He makes his own way, but he’s kind and benevolent. He believes in goodness and right but has little use for laws and regulations. He hates it when people try to intimidate others and tell them what to do. He follows his own moral compass, which, although good, may not agree with that of society.”

Mai: well, she certainly seems to be a True Neutral on sight, and I guess we’ll just prove that: “People who are neutral with respect to good and evil have compunctions against killing the innocent but lack the commitment to make sacrifices to protect or help others. Neutral people are committed to others by personal relationships.” Mai’s entire character arc ended up revolving around her relationship with Zuko. So, yes. Committed by personal relationships indeed. “Someone who is neutral with respect to law and chaos has a normal respect for authority and feels neither a compulsion to obey nor a compulsion to rebel.” I think this works for Book 2 Mai… Book 3 Mai absolutely rebelled against authority, needless to say. But again, as it was because of a personal relationship, I don’t think that’s particularly non-Neutral anyways.Finally, “Some neutral characters, on the other hand, commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They see good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. They advocate the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run.” I think Mai is this kind of True Neutral, as opposed to Toph, who’s neutral just because she doesn’t really care either way. Mai isn’t consciously, constantly preaching this kind of philosophy like a Herbalife salesman, but she keeps being bored both by both victory and defeat. Both by good people and bad. Everything’s boring, everything leaves her unaffected… well, on the most part. Again, personal relationships are the only thing that really matter to her. So, True Neutral Mai indeed. 

Ty Lee: when it comes to Ty Lee… dang. I really am a little unsure initially. She’s definitely good, I don’t doubt that, but chaos and lawfulness… she did obey Azula for a long time and to this day there’s no evidence she wanted to put an end to the Fire Nation’s rule, but I guess she did defy Azula eventually. Not mention, “"Chaos" implies freedom, adaptability, and flexibility”, and does something scream Ty Lee more than that definition?I’d say Chaotic Good, yeah. “Chaotic good is the best alignment you can be because it combines a good heart with a free spirit.” Again, sounds so very Ty Lee…

I guess that’s all the main characters? At least, the ones who were around for long enough. I could try to think of Ozai’s alignment too… I’d say he’s a cross of Neutral and Chaotic Evil. It’s just kinda funny because he disregarded authority just so HE could become the real authority. Kind of a complicated fellow too, but who’s surprised? His position in the story is that of a Lawful Evil villain (big figure of authority that needs to be deposed), his attitude seems to be that of a Neutral Evil (”does whatever he can get away with. He is out for herself, pure and simple.”), but his actions are 100% Chaotic Evil (“A chaotic evil character does whatever his greed, hatred, and lust for destruction drive him to do. He is hot-tempered, vicious, arbitrarily violent, and unpredictable. If he is simply out for whatever he can get, he is ruthless and brutal. If he is committed to the spread of evil and chaos, he is even worse.”).

… He’s evil. Let’s just leave it as that.

I know you may disagree here and there, but this took long enough as it is xD

[call-888-8sparky-blog]

growing up

It’s a sunny Thursday afternoon. Your mother has just checked you out of your small, very poverty middle school. You’re sad you have to miss Mr. Mitch’s science class, but you know this is more important. The whole drive there she seems brighter, more optimistic about you. You know if she opens conversation with you her hopes will be crushed, so you don’t speak. It’s the least you can do for her.

You guys park the car behind the orange wooden house and make your way up to the entrance. You see your outline in the screen door behind your mother; you don’t look any better from last time. You certainly don’t feel any better from last time. But you go in anyway and sit on the horribly stitched too low-to-the-ground  vomit-green couch with your sweet tired mother. You always get there ten minutes early with her, but if it eases her worries you let it happen. On good days you’ll sit and talk with her in the car until it’s time, which you think is more effective than the actual professional sessions. But today isn’t a good day. So you sit in silence in the waiting room.

You entertain yourself by looking around the room, seeing if Mrs. Kim got any new kids self-help books that make these things simple to understand. The window shows the big, peaceful trees that block any idea of this place being right by a busy intersection. You wish you were outside with those trees, to just think in peaceful solitude and quiet. It seems like you never have enough time to yourself; to organize your chaotic thoughts. Maybe you can’t organize them at all, who knows?

A girl walks out into the waiting room with her father. It looks like she had been crying. You never cry in your sessions. Are you supposed to? Something terrible probably happened to her. Nothing terrible has ever happened to you. So why are you here? Dad is probably right; you’re making it all up. After all, objectively, you have a great life. Your parents give you everything you need and most things you want. And how do you repay them? By staying in your room all day, quietly crying until you’re so exhausted you pass out- or by immersing yourself into worlds that aren’t real. It’s a matter of will, you’re just too lazy to get up and go out and make yourself happy. You’re a faker.

A couple of minutes go by, and Mrs. Kim walks into the waiting room. Her round face makes a smile that doesn’t meet her eyes. She’s wearing that purple sweater that really highlights how much she isn’t wearing a bra. Combined with her crazy white hair, she really looks like a emotional let’s-talk-about-it child therapist. But you’ve never really been a child, have you? Whatever may or may not be wrong with you made you grow up quickly. Not that it really matters now.

Your darling mother kisses your forehead goodbye, and leaves through the front door. Mrs. Kim asks what you would like to do today with her fake smile. You think she doesn’t really know what to do with you, since you don’t think or act like a kid, and you don’t have some dramatic event to talk about. You don’t mind just doing whatever for an hour, but you’d rather do it at home without an old illogical hippie hovering over you the whole time, or having to make your mother take off work an hour early to pay $20 for you to essentially pet a cat and feel better for about 30 minutes afterward. Speaking of the cat, where is Marvin? As soon as the thought had formed in your head, you see his long orange coat slowly strutting it’s way down the hall. Cat’s always calm you, though Marvin doesn’t come close to Kitty. Kitty’s fully black, so he makes you feel unique and edgy like Emily the Strange. You quietly make your way to the main room; you don’t particularly want to play with toys in the toy room or actually talk in the overly blue, calming, all around trying-too-hard therapy room. So you opt for the couch in the bright orange main room, sitting across from a big wooden where you can draw if you wish. You like drawing, but there’s always ways you can make your work better and it’s never good enough. So you try to redraw parts of you work and it ends up worse than before and you ask yourself “Why is it never good enough? This is your fault? Why can’t you make it better? Why can’t you just be satisfied?” any you cry and tear it up or burn it and then cry harder because you’re still kind of hopeful you can make it better and you spent so much time on it and you want to be proud of it but something is stopping you.

In fact, you feel this way about everything you do or try to do (including what you’re writing right now). You won’t be drawing today.

Mrs. Kim asks what happened to your face. You tell her what you told your mother; that you don’t know. You kept your explanation vague in hopes it would help you out somehow. You were never a good liar. But, to be fair you never liked your face anyway.

But you messed up. You had rolled up your sleeves while walking to the main room. She asks again about the particularly nasty number you scratched onto the back of your forearm. You feel Marvin leap up onto you start kneading your fat, disgusting thighs. God, you can’t even self-harm correctly. You’re so fucking pathetic. There’s no way you can lie your way out of this one.

So Mrs. Kim tells your mother and your mother quits taking you to Mrs. Kim since it clearly isn’t helping, and I guess your mother wants to feel like she can control whatever problem you have, so she just takes you out of therapy and hovers even more so all your precious alone time to cry is taken away except for when you take showers, and because of the accumulation of emotions showers were usually a new circle of hell and left you more broken and lethargic than before.

I guess our mother decided that she was satisfied with her job of fixing you, or at least making sure you wouldn’t hurt yourself (or maybe you just got good at lying?), so your dear loving parents took a weekend to do who-remembers-what; it doesn’t matter. You sit in front a screen until your brain is mush, and suddenly the whole house had turned dark. It was bright when they left. Time doesn’t really matter for you since every second you spend here is essentially going to waste. You find you fathers beside clock. Christ, it’s 1:03 am. Your house is so quiet. You lay on your parents perfectly made bed and stare at the ceiling. Your mind is too exhausted and numb to form any thoughts you can grasp onto except one. You know the one. It’s always in the back, but never in the center of your mind like it is now and never sounded quite so appealing, and, quite frankly, like the most logical thing to do. You’ve thought about this before, and sleeping pills always seemed like the best way to go; to just slow down until everything stops and you’re ‘asleep’. So you walk in a trance to your parents medicine cabinet. They aren’t there, so you look in your medicine cabinet and the house in general. Also no luck. You feel yourself becoming illogically frustrated, like a child who didn’t get a toy that he wanted on a trip to the supermarket. You throw everything out of the medicine cabinet and bathroom, and sink to the cold linoleum floor in tears.

But you (I, we) comfort you, and tell you you’re strong. It might be harder, and hurt more, you can still do it. It’s the least you can do for everyone; mom, dad, Cait. So you go through the mental list of alternate options you made in your head. You decide to be selfish and burdensome one last time. You’d like to die in your parents room; it’s less scary that way. As for the method, well, you’re a coward are okay with leaving a mess in exchange for a quick death. You take your daddy’s pistol out from his bedside table; and unholster, cock, turn off the safety, and aim. I guess the “you” in there used the last of their strength to fight back and sudden moment of clarity hits you - this won’t help anyone. But of course the thought still won’t go away. So a silent blitzkrieg goes on in your head and you cry because you don’t know who to listen to. You want to listen to yourself, you so very desperately want to believe your friends will miss you and your family won’t be the same and the world will be a darker place without you and that someone, anyone wants you and needs you and can help you. But these thoughts are still there, and they won’t just let you go and be happy, and you can’t force them out or bargain with them (yourself). So you sit on the itchy carpet and cry hysterically with a gun in your hand until your body and mind are too exhausted to keep going. What was once a battlefield in your head had died down to silent glares. But you’re still being coaxed into doing it, and it’s been two hours of this struggle you can’t take it. As a last ditch effort, you try to text some free therapist on the internet (you hate making calls and hearing your own voice or making a big deal of it and calling attention to yourself). They tell you that they can’t help you since you’re under 18, and you cry more. You don’t want to die, you truly don’t. You’re laying on the carpet now, staring at the gun in your hands, right by your head. Its 3:21 am now. Why can’t you just do this one last thing? This is the nicest thing you can do for the people you say you love, but you’re too weak a selfish to do even this. You’ll only make everyone hate you more by staying, you spoiled ungrateful bitch, so why haven’t you done it already?

Your phone dings. A friend, Nate, has sent you a link to a song. He usually stays up late and trades music with you. He’s part of what you consider your close group of friends (even though they all secretly hate you), and you even kinda have a crush on him (not that anyone could really love or even want you though).

His text surprises you, so much so that the internal struggle pauses for a moment to look at what’s happening in the real world. In this small moment of clarity, you ask him if you can call and that it’s an emergency. You do this quickly in hopes that you (I) would still be too shocked to notice what you were doing, but that was a pretty stupid strategy since I am you, and can see everything you do and think. Just make it till he responds.

He doesn’t respond, but instead just calls. You answer, and tell him you want to kill yourself but the gun is too heavy. He cries and asks you to put it back and call your mom. You do, but stay on the line for while until it all calms down. It’s 3:49 am now and you repeatedly call your mother. She picks up after the third call and you tell her what happened. She sobs like Nathan did and says that they’re coming home and to hold on till then. You feel guilty for ruining their vacation and you can feel your father getting irritated and exasperated however-many miles away. Nathan asks you to keep texting him until your parents are back. You do. Both the “you’s” in your head have gone completely silent. You’re relieved; it’s like having two parents fighting into the wee hours of the night in your head and you’ve finally decided to sneak out to go hide in your childhood clubhouse and sleep till morning. You fall asleep on the itchy carpet. The gun is in the cabinet.

You’re awoken by your parents unlocking the front door. Your mother hugs you, and she fixes everything the right way this time. You’re prescribed Zoloft, and there was a new therapist for a while - but you left quickly since there wasn’t anything to talk about. You wounds have healed, you don’t cry, and you’re still reclusive and that concerns your mother, but you think she knows deep down that it’s over, and that you’re okay. 

[jellojolteon]

Gabriel Agreste is not a good person.

But god if he isn’t one of the most interestingly complex characters in this AU.

Let’s get one thing straight: Gabe is a horrible person. He’s cold, merciless, and when imbued with magic nothing short of murderous. He’s a monster. He deserves years of jail time far sooner than he deserves redemption. But. But. Everything he does, he does because he’s human. He’s grieving in all the wrong ways but he at the heart of it does it from good intentions. 

It’s just that the road to Hell is paved with those very same good intentions of his.

(I think the same things can be said of the canon version of him too, but here it’s a bit more opaque I think.)

Gabriel Agreste is a powerful fashion designer, a man at the top of his field. Maybe he’s a bit cold and driven but you know his wife loves him and he’s got a pretty tight thing going between himself, her, and his son.

So what happens when his wife goes mysteriously missing? Gabe’s not exactly the type of person with friends, so an enemy of his takes the opportunity to suggest to the media that this suspicious disappearance is actually Gabriel’s fault. Ironically, it’s the one thing he is in no way responsible for.

But it eats him alive. He loves his wife. Loved? She’s nowhere to be found and folks begin to suspect the worst, and Gabriel Agreste becomes a broken man. He is deeply hurt by the disappearance of one of the few people he allowed himself the luxury of opening himself to. Who wouldn’t be?

That alone would have been enough to put him over the edge but on top of this, as previously mentioned, he hasn’t exactly made friends over the years. The media snaps up the idea that this stoic figure might somehow be merciless enough to hurt his own wife, and that’s the thing that causes him to distance himself from Adrien. Let’s not forget that Adrien is in desperate need of someone  at this point, either. They need each other but Gabriel, in a selfish attempt spare Adrien from the unwanted attention, ollies the fuck out. So now they’re both down to one person looking out for them on top of them grieving the loss of a wife/mother.

Now, its tough to say what great misfortune the universe decided to wreak here and admittedly I’m hoping season 2 will give me some good material to work with, but Gabe ends up with the Cat Noir miraculous and the knowledge that the Ladybug earrings in combination with his ring will grant him unfathomable power. Unfathomable power that might be able to bring his wife back. And he will do anything to get her back.

First, he decides to try to take out the person who slandered his name, which is what alerts Fu to the need for the Ladybug Miraculous. That goes about as we would expect it, and leads to all sorts of hostages and murders and innumerable euros of property damage which are elegantly fixed by some good luck from Ladybug. But Gabriel is a quick learner who knows how to exploit weaknesses like the duration of Cataclysm and the fact that the hero tasked with his roundup is just a teenage girl. Ladybug begins to flag and Fu sends Nooroo to Adrien after that particularly close call in which Gabriel nearly cataclysms his own son. Infuriated at being blinded by his own rage and his son’s disregard for his life, he bans Adrien from leaving the mansion except to do modeling shoots at Gabriel’s office. Tuxedo Cat begins to raise hell once more, but is now affronted by various champions from a new fighter who does not show himself. He cheats and threatens his way into this new dynamic being a fairly even match in which he comes out to lure out Ladybug, fucks shit up to get her to use Lucky Charm, and then goes for her miraculous by any means necessary as her five minutes tick down. Dramatic stuff, which usually ends when Greyling’s champions intervene and knock him back enough to get him to run back from whence he came.

Gabriel Agreste is not an idiot, and in an effort to forget himself and bolster his company image in the wake of some pretty nasty accusations, opens up an intern position to save face, which as we know, Mari wins.

Funny thing about Mari is that Gabriel, in his own weird and cold way, genuinely likes her. Part of it might be a bit of self-punishing because she reminds him so much of his wife, but at the same time, she reminds him of his wife and that brings back good memories too. As Mari’s friendship with Adrien grows stronger, he sees him and his wife when they were young. She’s good for Adrien and there for him in ways he can’t be and if we’re really real, he totally ships them. He tries to subtly task Mari with things that involve Adrien much more, while trying not to wear on the thin line he treads with his son.

Plagg in this AU I dither a bit on. On one hand he’s chaotic enough that he mostly doesn’t care what his powers are being used for, and Gabe has the wallet to land him wheel after wheel of camembert. On the other hand, Plagg is working double duty a lot and he’s tired. And chaotic as he may be, he isn’t too keen on his power being harnessed to kill people. Insolence gets him nowhere so the best he can do as prisoner to Gabriel is subtly be an asshole and hope someone will rescue him. For example, Gabriel’s tuxedo outfit is not fortified in the way Tikki has made Ladybug’s. Plagg will tell Gabe the truth about magical matters if he gets enough cheese, but he always withholds a bit of information because if Plagg goes down, it’s damn certain he will take Gabriel with him.

So anyway I think the heart of all of this is that Gabe is human. He is an awful human being and critical to this au is the reconciliation of someone who has had bad things happen to them that they did not deserve with the fact that this person has turned around and used those bad things to justify committing atrocities for which they themselves must answer. Idk I just think it’s a really interesting morally grey zone. How does one handle wanting to give mercy to someone who does little to deserve it, even if they may eventually be a redeemable person? Who deserves mercy and a shot at redemption in the first place?

[roses-and-oceans]

So I'm kinda debating writing this out but I decided to anyway. On and off, I've been writing posts about how I'm feeling and then deleting them. Its become sorta cathartic but I just don't seem to do it that often anymore i keep things inside. I wish I can put things under cuts on mobile because gosh darn it I don't want you all to go through a wall of text and it not be a fic. I mean I know every one's going to ignore this and no one cares but hey, I'll give it a go before I fall asleep. Hopefully I feel better after writing this. EDIT:I feel miles better! Honestly I would have never gotten this off my chest if I did not write this. I feel... Undeserving. Undeserving of many things and people. It was an apparent issue, I realized, when I wanted to write fics. I thought I was selfish of me to indulge in something so pleasurable. Just reading fics made me happy but if I also wrote things, then I'd just muck it up and be hunted down like, "hOE DARE YOU. YOU ARE SO SELFISH.WHY" And its not that fic writing is a bad thing!! Its just I'm not allowed. Like everyone can have fun except me because I'm not worth it, I'm not allowed. Why? Goodness knows. I still feel like that sometimes. Like no one will read it, but then there'll be this witch hunt for me, asking for my severed head on a stick. And that's the case for most things. I try to make myself small, quiet. For the sake of not disturbing others, not getting in the way, not ruining things. So that way I don't have anyone hate me. And I guess that's why I'm the way I am. I don't want to be hated. I don't want to be disliked. I mean this modern age its not possible LOL but still I try my best. I make myself moldable and flexible for the sake of others. I try not to breathe around them as much so as to not disturb them. Also another reason why I am the way I am is because I was actually hated when I was younger. I know, "get over it" lmao, and in some cases I am. But being hated by so many people, kids and adults alike... And no one did anything to stop, to see me, to wonder why. Ehh. C'est la vie. I guess the "lessons" forced upon me had stayed. I was taught that I ruin everything, that I was useless, stupid, fat and ugly. And honestly back then I just shrugged and continued reading my books. But I guess I didn't block everything out haha! And so I've always thought I was insignificant. That I was merely here. I've never actually thought about my future, so Ive never gone to college, not really sure what to do career-wise. A lot of friends in high school were like, "yeah everyone had to do this thing for college we went to councilors and and now we're all set! :)" and I was like WAIT WHAT LOL WAS I ABSENT THAT DAY WAS I NOT PAYING ATTENTION WE HAVE THE SAME CLASSES BRUH But I guess I just thought I wasn't worth the extra effort so I really didn't pursue anything I didn't ask questions. Because I thought I wasn't worth it. Thinking about it, its really stupid. Like hello!!! I'm supposed to go out there and get what I want right?? But then I think why? And no answer comes because I don't see myself succeeding. I graduated high school, and right when I left, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I've never thought I'd live a long life. I just don't see it. Like what am I going to be doing??? Not much probs lol. I see myself as a background character, a stepping stone to another ledge. I don't see myself as particularly special. Kinda don't mind it. Like really I'm just here to enjoy food and music and video games until I can't anymore lol. I guess you can say I don't see myself. Also, another reason why I don't think of myself is because I feel I'll get too greedy. I don't want that I am so terrified. I do not want to be entitled and snobby. I'd rather go without so some one else can have things and it's just... Ahhhhhh. I don't want to be greedy. Its a really big fear of mine. I guess I don't talk to anyone about it is because its just so... Frequent. I already have one person who just is sick and tired of hearing it, bless his soul. He has a saint's patience and lord knows its been tested. But I see it getting shorter and shorter and I just revert to making myself seem better, like hi hello yes I am function ing quite well today. I don't think I'm worth the stress. And its not that im talking his ear off and stuff like I'm not like DROP EVERYTHING AND FOCUS ON ME I NEED U TO MAKE ME FEEL BETER. Because I don't think I am he says I don't talk enough. But its whenever I bring up the topic the convo gets shorter and shorter. He's lthe loveliest person he is amazing. He is such a good person!! Just I drive him mad sometimes lol. Im afraid of being manipulative. I don't want that either. I don't want to harm anyone like that but I'm afraid I am. I don't want people or things to cater to me. I think one of the thing that got to me more recently was my birthday. I know, lmao, bitch it was like two months ago get ooovr ittt. Its just. I'm grateful for the good times in between the bad, but it was the most miserable birthday of my life. Things were so chaotic, so heart wrenchingly sad, that I felt I wasn't going to be able to celebrate. Like I felt I was going to be erased. Friends were there, which was really good! Family... Not so much. I guess it comes with being the oldest. Haha I don't think I even had a cake or anything lmao. Honestly I don't care but I had loads of fun with my friends. But i guess its just the fact with everything going on, I was placed in the way way way back. Haha how selfish of me; things come up!!! And its okay!!! Just my birthdays have always been like that and if even the universe is like "nah is just a regular day" then it kinda just sticks to me that my bday isn't really worth it. I also feel like I'm doing everything wrong. Like even though I'm doing everything right, every single thing written down I'm following it to the T, but I'm still failing, still doing things wrong, still not getting any where while everyone is succeeding. And so I will be labeled as an idiot, stupid, useless and hated for it and banished, like I was so long ago. I feel like after reading this, people will actually hate me lol. Like people are like OMG U ARE SO STUPID WTF and just walk away. Like I'll be alone. And I guess?? If that were to happen?? Idk... I have a list of things to remember. Number one is "be kind too myself". HA. I wrote it so I won't feel like this haha, but oh well. Its not working so much anymore. I feel like I'm creating a sob story, like Boohoo bitch you think too much. Eh. Well its getting late and I should sleep. I'm so sorry if anyone has read this mess. Im not looking for pity or anything. Ijust wanted to get this out without disturbing anyone. Well I guess by posting I'll be disturbing... And I promise: I AM OKAY!!!!!!! SRSLY!!!!! if anything its just hormonal, I've been on my period for a few weeks now haha. But if any friends do stubble across this, I'm okay. Just sad and tired. I just need a nap and I'm good. Writnf this was really helpful and I was able to get what I wanted out and if I were to actually talk to someone,I'd probs stop myself and not talk about everything I just did. I wouldn't have gotten this weight lifted off me. If you stuck around haha thank you if not I hope you all have a lovely day. If I don't have a very good day, I hope yours is infinitely better!

[hymnfortheshamelss]

My best friend was raped. This is how my family reacted.

Four years ago, my best friend was raped. She was drugged, and she was raped by someone that she trusted, someone that I trusted. Ken. My best friend and I knew him since we were both 12 years old. We’re now in our mid 20’s. We went to his swimming classes when we were 12, and that’s actually how we met. From pre-teens to adults, we always thought Ken was the coolest. We trusted him. Ken was someone we could bemoan onto our teenage problems, our grievances with our parents and our frustrations with figuring out boys for the 1st time. He was always so cool. He always seemed to get exactly where we were coming from. Ken would even sneak us alcohol while we were underage and this made him the coolest adult ever. When we were old enough we’d frequently hang out with Ken at bars, have some beers, go to his home, watch football matches, play with his three daughters, and talk to his wife. Ken was a safe space.

   Four years ago, I noticed a visible change in my best friend. Her demeanour shifted. Her glow dimmed and her eyes dulled. I knew something was horribly off. I asked her if she was ok, and at 1st, all she said was that something happened with a man, and that she was taken advantage of. As a best friend, I did all I could to be there for her. I told her she doesn’t have to talk about it, but that I’d always be her crutch. That’s still true to this day. She eventually told me, after about two months, that Ken was the man that took advantage of her. I was shaken. Absolutely petrified, to my core. I couldn’t believe it. Ken, the man that was always so cool, always so understanding, the man that even I was alone with knocking back beers on several afternoons. Immediately, I just felt a rush of hatred towards him, and a rush of sympathy towards my best friend. Her world would never be the same, because one regular afternoon while having a beer with Ken, he drugged her, and raped her.

  When she was finally ok to talk about it to more people, she went to the police. Nothing came of it. Are we surprised? A minute percentage of sex offenders are charged and convicted for their crimes. We all know that victims of sexual assault very, very, very, rarely see justice. What could she do now? She just had to pick up the shattered pieces of her life, and move on.

My brother also attended these swimming classes with us from childhood. I stopped the classes in my mid teens but my best friend and my brother never did. After she was raped, she stopped going to the classes. After she was raped, she told the rest of the students in the class what happened. A sizeable portion of the class, dropped out. After all, there were many more swimming tutors available. When my best friend spoke out about what happened to her, many other girls also came forward about their experiences with Ken. She wasn’t alone. The ones that dropped of his class out were uncomfortable taking lessons from a rapist, seeing that they had many options to continue swimming classes elsewhere, what did they have to lose? There were at least 10 more swimming schools in the area.

My brother, did not stop going to Ken’s classes. My brother, upon hearing what happened to my best friend said, ‘That’s not my business.’ My brother, continued to support Ken and his classes and even the advancement of his swimming school. This was 4 years ago.

My relationship with my parents and my brother has never been a good one. At that point 4 years ago, we were just civilized with one another. After my brother’s response to my best friend’s rape, and his continued fraternization with her rapist, I cut him off completely. He disgusted me. The topic of him supporting a rapist would come up now and again but recently, it hit its peak in my family.

After a particularly chaotic night, I exposed my brother publicly, for being a rapist sympathizer. I had no regrets, and I still don’t. Because rapists and their friends do not deserve to be protected. They do not deserve to live a normal life after ruining someone else’s.

My brother went to my parents and lamented about me exposing him as a rapist sympathizer. My parents, knew what happened to my best friend 4 years ago, when it happened 4 years ago. I told my mother when my best friend told me. I told my mother, ‘How can you be ok with your son going to classes run by a rapist?’ My question remains unanswered to this day. After sticking with Ken for years, my brother became qualified enough to tutor his own students. Ken provided a space for my brother’s tutoring. A few months ago, Ken realized that my brother started gaining a lot of students and saw him as competition and decided to take his space back, forcing my brother to relocate. It was this event that was the final straw for my brother, and it was this event that led him to cut ties with Ken. Not Ken being a rapist. But taking away space he needed. When that happened my father came up to me. He said, ‘Ken really isn’t a good person. Look what he did to your brother.’ This infuriated me. This makes my father no better than my brother. I responded, ‘So this is the event that makes you realize that Ken is a bad person? This is what makes you stop speaking to him? Not the fact that he raped my best friend years ago?’ To which my father replied, ‘Ken didn’t do anything to your brother, he did something to your best friend, why should I be concerned with that?’

Do I even need to explain myself further? We can all see where my brother gets the self-serving, misogynistic ideology from.

Today my parents tried to have a discussion with all four of us together about it. My parents could not understand why I couldn’t forgive my brother for supporting the man that raped my best friend. They said, ‘But your brother stopped talking to Ken months ago! Why are you still punishing him?’ At this point, we all know that my brother supported Ken for years even after knowing he was a rapist. In my parents’ eyes, I shouldn’t be mad anymore, because my brother stopped supporting Ken eventually.

My brother is a law student. My brother started off by saying, he chose to stay under Ken’s wing because Ken did nothing to him and just because he raped his friend, that didn’t mean that he had to give up his goal of going forward in classes. My brother threatened to sue me for exposing him. My parents couldn’t believe that I had the audacity to call my brother a rapist sympathiser. My brother admitted that by choosing Ken, he was selfish and decided to put his wants above the fact that his friend was raped. My parents defended him by saying, ‘Her being raped has nothing to do with this family. Her being raped has nothing to do with your brother. All you do is defend your friends. You will defend your friends and never your family. If he chooses to support Ken that’s his right because Ken never hurt him.’

These are the values that my parents believe in. Recall earlier. I too was alone with Ken on numerous occasions. I too could have been a victim of him. When I pointed this out, my brother quickly resorted to his law school teachings. He said, ‘Well who knows if your best friend actually even was raped? This is all on what she has said. She went to the police and nothing came of it, therefore Ken is innocent.’ I asked him, ‘If someone were to rape our mother and she told you who it was, does that mean you will continue to be friends with that person until he is proven guilty in a court of law?’

To which he replied, ‘Yes.’

Very promising morals for a young soon to be lawyer if I do say so myself.  

My father then started in conjunction with my brother. My father then started saying, ‘Well what did your best friend do to find herself in a position like that with Ken anyways? Wasn’t there some kind of sign or pre warning that this was going to happen?’

I think at this point we can all indulge in a collective sigh of disgust.

Again I called my brother a rapist sympathizer. He got mad and threatened to hit me if I kept saying it. To which I replied, ‘Oh wow, you’re in law school and that’s the best retort you have to someone saying the truth?’

He subsequently lunged at me. Thankfully, my dog was in my lap. My dog obviously, for want of a better phrase ‘lost her shit’ and attacked. My brother then drew back from hitting me. Just a reminder, my parents are bearing witness to this. My parents stood up when he lunged at me but when he went back they started lecturing me. ‘You need to have some self-control! You need to watch what you’re saying or else you’re just asking people to hit you!’ Just wanted to reiterate, that I was in fact the one that needed self-control. My brother who is more than twice my weight that lunged at me, is not the one that is being lectured about control. I am. I mean, a man that is so comfortable laying hands on a woman shouldn’t really come as a surprise that he’s a rapist sympathizer.

My brother was getting desperate at this point. He decided to go with lies. He said that my best friend called him and said that she was ok with him continuing contact with Ken; that she didn’t have a problem with him supporting her rapist. I knew this was a lie. My father said, ‘Ok, call your friend, let’s see what the truth is.’

I called her. I put her on speaker. She didn’t know she was on speaker. I asked her if she ever told my brother that she was ok with him still being in contact with Ken. She quite obviously, never said that. My brother was now also exposed as a liar. Big surprise isn’t it?

I told my parents that it’s their choice whether or not they choose to be ok with their son being a rapist sympathiser, but they cannot force me to feel the same way. They started speaking of blood bonds and family ties, about putting siblings over friends. About forgiveness and compassion.

I cannot forgive someone who knowingly kept ties, with a rapist. I don’t care who you are to me. It’s a simple matter of black and white; wrong vs right. My parents are ok with their son being this person. I am not. My parents said that all I ever do is see things my way, and if things aren’t my way, I cut people off. It is not my way. It is what is right and it is what is wrong. My mother said that she knows my brother is wrong for what he did, she knows he is selfish, but she has to accept that, and accept him. That’s great for her.

I spoke of Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey. I spoke of victims whose voices go unheard every day. My parents disregarded this with, ‘Family must come first,’ and, ‘You cannot change the world.’ I feel this this is a fitting piece for Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to read. She didn’t change the world? Now did she?

I refuse to stay silent. I speak up for every victim that doesn’t have a voice. My parents see that as me being vindictive towards my brother and choosing friends over family. It’s not about the fact that she was a best friend, or a sister, or a mother or a daughter. All she had to be, was someone. I see it as doing the right thing. Not doing my thing. Parents are much more comfortable with the idea of their sons being rapists, than the idea of their daughters being raped.

Misogyny is ingrained in each and every one of us. It’s our job to dismantle it within society and within ourselves. We must stand on the right side of history and dismiss, condemn, and eradicate rape culture in its entirety.

 Names, times, events and places have been edited for anonymity.