#anyway back to screaming into the void I’m actually always thinking ab them it’s just a fact of life

[night-triumphantt]

it’s Kiyazan anniversary!! Well, it is an hour before midnight so technically it’s tomorrow BUT that matters not the entire world must know now, immediately, ab the reason @cashweasel and I have moved to the goofy pool

[icedcappujaeno]

kingdom come | two

Jaehyun remembers you, and he hopes that you remember him as well.

genre: mafia!au | fluff | angst | smut

pair: Jaehyun & reader

warnings: language, sexual content, drugs, blood and violence, guns

↤ previous | series masterlist | next ↦

( a/n: enjoy c: )

Jaehyun sees Rose’s missed calls when he’s already revving the engines of his car.

He shrugs. He starts the car and yet not a few minutes later, Rose calls.

“Finally,” she says over the line. Jaehyun transfers the audio to his blue tooth earphones before he answers. He’s stopped at a red light, silently observing the crowd outside his car windows. 

“Is something wrong? Today’s Friday, shouldn’t you be-”

“I’m coming over,” she interrupts him. “Actually, I’m already over here. By your door. Do you have ramyeun with you? I’m craving for some.”

“You should have texted me earlier,” Jaehyun sighs. He’s actually peeved with Rose coming in without prior permission, but he can’t just send the woman away. Also, now that she said it, he’s craving for some ramyeun as well. Problem is, he ran out.

“I did, but you didn’t respond,” Rose says. “Anyway, are you near? It’s freezing out here.”

“I’ll stop by the mart. I ran out of ramyeun,” he replies. He hears her curse but he ignores the remark, rather chuckles at it. One thing he likes about Rose that she’s blunt - never quite afraid to speak what’s on her mind. Painful enough, it reminds him greatly of you.

“I’ll meet you there then,” she hangs up. Jaehyun didn’t even have the chance to reply to her appeal. It was of no use anyway. He arrives at the mart a few minutes later, parking his car in front of the shop. Rose wasn’t still there as the mart was about a ten-minute walk away from his apartment. He goes inside and pulls a cart. Initially, he only sought to buy ramyeun, but since his fridge was almost emptying out, he thought it would be better to do groceries now and carry them in one go.

Ramyeun, ingredients for his spicy stew, black noodles, eggs, candies, some essentials - everything Jaehyun could think of is in his cart. He sees the meat section and suddenly craves barbecue, thus he pushes his cart to the side. He asks the staff to cut the pork for him already and waits, scrolling through his phone. His feed shows Johnny’s recent photography post on his Instagram account, Taeyong with his dog Ruby the next.

The staff calls out his order. Jaehyun puts his phone back in his pockets and reaches for the plastic, but a hand bumps to his - cold like his, to which he thinks it was probably from the freezer’s temperature. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, but the world seems to stop when he looks at the owner of the hand.

“It’s okay,” you say, and the staff signs for you - meaning that the plastic was your order. You smile towards the man and bows a little before reaching over to get the plastic bag filled with sliced meat. 

He stares at you, aghast like you were a ghost. He stares at you like you shouldn’t be here. You couldn’t figure the emotions on his face but it was nothing of your concern. Once again you bow to his direction, walking away from his odd gaze.

“[ Y/N ]-”

“Jaehyun!” Rose pipes in and clings to his arm. Jaehyun watches as you walk away as you didn’t hear him anymore, and Rose follows the direction of his gaze. You were turning your back to them, falling in line for the counter. Rose raises a single brow. 

“You know her?”

Does he?

You were dead. Taeyong said it to him. To which he asked for confirmation. Taeyong brings him to the morgue. He was in crutches, and your body lay lifeless on the cold, stainless rectangular platform. You were clad in white. You looked like you’re sleeping, but Jaehyun checked your body, your temperature. It was cold. There was no pulse. No beat.

Taeyong assured him to help him arrange a funeral. They did. But he did nothing. He stared at nothing. His mind was empty, with no thoughts, nothing. He didn’t look at the casket and checked. Your picture on the center of the bouquet of flowers. That time, white doesn’t suit you. Jaehyun thought it did as he saw you in a white gown and veil with a bouquet of white roses in hand - but looking at your picture he thought otherwise.

You were dead. He mourned for you. Days. Weeks. Years. Counting at present.

Yet you stood before him. 

The creases that appear every time you smile even in the slightest. The coolness of your skin when it’s cold. The swinging of your hips as you walk. The smell of the sweet perfume that he knows you’ve always loved.

“Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun shakes his head, knitting his brows for a moment before smiling at the girl’s direction. “Yes?”

Rose looks at him incredulously and huffs. She brings him over to the ice cream fridge and asks him to buy her a pack of Melona. She still clings to him and he doesn’t mind, because his thoughts are now clouded with questions.

What the fuck is going on?

--------

“Ah, fuck, Jaehyun!” Rose moans into the sheets, the sheets grasped between her hands wrapping tighter with Jaehyun’s thrust.

Jaehyuns grips onto Rose’s hips deeply, his fingers almost making a mark on her flawless skin. Rose notices the irregularity in the rhythm of his thrusts: this wasn’t the usual Jaehyun in bed. 

Jaehyun takes it slow. He takes his time, thinking about the pleasures of them both. He knows how to plant kisses on every skin, and how it trails fire on every kiss. Usually, he takes his time, but obviously not for tonight. Rose puts her hand to her back, feels his hard-toned abs but pushes it away. “Jaehyun, wait-”

Her pleas cut as Jaehyun thrusts into her with much force, hitting her deep inside. 

Ever since they got home from the mart, Jaehyun went silent. When Rose asked him questions or talked to him in general, he remains void, only nodding or giving short replies in return. She never knew how to describe the face Jaehyun is making as they drove back to his apartment, but one thing’s for sure: that ever since he saw you back in the mart, it’s been clouding his thoughts.

Rose knew her limitations as Jaehyun already said that she shouldn’t mind what his past is, but now she’s curious.

So she asked. But Jaehyun suddenly got irritated. Rose thought that instead of lashing out or yelling, this is his way to shut her up. Kissing her quite forcefully as he puts her queries back to her throat. Not that she doesn’t like it anyway.

She’s at her limit, and as Jaehyun continues to thrust his cock inside her irregularly, she comes undone. She screams his name in mercy, but Jaehyun isn’t there yet. 

He sees Rose’s weakening body so pulls out. Instead, his hand grip his throbbing length and shoots his high onto Rose’s hips. 

“Fuck.”

He curses. He had never lost his cool during times like these. He’s done it so many times but he never lashed out on sex like a beast this way. But it was all his instinct. 

He feels he’s getting crazy. He is mad. He is confused.

What the hell is going on?

Jaehyun sighs and scratches his head in frustration. He looks back to Rose and sees her, almost already half-asleep from the fuck he gave him just a while ago. He gets the shirt from the floor that he tossed earlier, wiping his cum from Rose’s hips. He went straight to the bathroom to put the shirt away to the laundry basket and washes his face.

He looks at the mirror. He sees himself, and he knows that he changed. The bags under his eyes are prominent enough that anyone could notice. 

He gets back to his room, Rose already sleeping on his bed. Jaehyun gets himself a fresh pair of boxers from his cabinet and proceeds to wrap a blanket around the woman’s frame. He goes to the kitchen and grabs a can of beer, turning the TV on to try and distract his thoughts, but it’s all stuck in his head.

You’re alive.

You’re not a ghost. Not an apparition. Not a nightmare that haunts him where ever he goes.

He touched your hand, technically. 

Jaehyun can’t believe it.

You’re fucking alive.

He dials a number so familiar from his phone.

“Taeyong, we need to talk.”

[wafflewarriors]

Never Fear (The Winchesters Are Here)

Six Feet Under

You woke up to a deep ache in your shoulders. It was sore all the way down your back. Probably bruised to hell.

You grunted, and your breath fanned back onto your face. You attempted to move, despite your smarting back, and your hands brushed against loose dirt and flaky wood. You tried to adjust your eyes, but there was nothing to see. Just… black. Wherever you were, it was a narrow space. A dirty narrow space.

Was it time to mention you were also slightly claustrophobic?

You were sweating. The air was stuffy. But there was something cold right next to you. Something cold and yielding. You reached for it, blindly patting with your hand flat out, until your fingers curled around something with contour.

You mapped out the dimensions of the object before recoiling in horror. That was no object—that… that was a body. 

Which, with your odds, meant you were in a coffin. An oddly large, though still cramped, coffin. Underground. With no way out but through the suffocating dirt.

Freaking ghouls.

Your first instinct was to scream. To pound up against the wood and holler until your throat was raw. It wasn’t that you wouldn’t, either; it was that you couldn’t. 

You couldn’t breathe.

There was something in your chest right now. There had to be. A void where your lungs had been, like a vacuum that swallowed up all the usable air. Your heart was in your throat.

Were you running out of oxygen? Was it already too late? Your shallow breaths were burning a hole in your chest. You couldn’t breathe.

You reached over to the corpse, this time with urgency. Cold but still flaccid. The body had been fresh for about an hour, then. Rigor mortis hadn’t even begun.

Does it matter? a part of your mind reasoned. It sounded a little like Dean. There’s a cold, dead body next to you, you’re on your last round of air, and you still can’t stop being a nerd?

"It matters," you muttered to yourself. "Matters ‘cause that means I’ve been stuck down here for about an hour. Takes about five hours total to run short on oxygen. Means at the very least, I’m not dying… yet."

As hard as a transition was going to be, you needed to breathe deep and slow. But there was still a tightness in your chest.

Relax your shoulders, you could almost hear Sam chiding.

"A little… difficult to do… suffocating in a pine box," you said, but you relaxed them anyway. You then took in your first, full breath since you woke up. That was progress.

You couldn’t count on the Winchesters finding you in time, or at all. You were going to have to take matters into your own hands and try to climb out of the grave. Dean had done it before, so you could too.

Dean’s also, like, 200 pounds of muscle, Sam cautioned.

If you were going to climb out of your grave, you needed a mask to protect your face from the dirt. Which meant you were going to need to work your shirt off of your head. You brushed your hand over your stomach. Well, you must have put up a fight. Your shirt was shredded, so… that was a no go.

The dead guy had a shirt, Dean said.

Fantastic.

You looked over to your left, to the corpse you couldn’t see. You reached over, awkwardly pulling the shirt up. Its cool skin grazed yours as you worked the fabric over its head. 

The neck didn't jerk about; it was rigid, but the arms weren't. Rigor mortis was kicking into gear. Which meant you had been down here for roughly two hours. Working as a hunter, you needed to have some level of knowledge on the dead.

Such a nerd, you could see Dean rolling his eyes.

You tied the bottom of the shirt which took a little while with your arms pinned down and the pitch darkness to guide you. Finally, though, you made a tight knot.

You pulled the shirt over your head like a bag and sat there for a moment. You wished the Winchesters could talk you through this.

That's when you broke at the pine box. The dirt was cold, dry, and thankfully loose. It fell in clumps around your shoulders, and you shoved it down at your feet.

Climbing your way past the dirt was no joke. It was grimy and freaking difficult. It was like those foam pits that gymnasts use that are nearly impossible to work your way out of, except in complete darkness with limited space. In other words, a freaking nightmare.

But you kept working. Kept pushing up while pushing the dirt down. Six feet, Sam reminded you. Just six feet. Once you’re standing, just work upward. Should be about as tall as I am, yeah?

You made a risky move upward, throwing your hand up as far as it could go, and touched air. A light breeze fell over your skin.

To say it was encouragement was an exaggeration. You worked twice as hard, shoving your way to the top. When your hand felt hard dirt, you crunched your abs and pulled until your chest hit the surface. You frantically dug your legs out before collapsing on the ground.

You went into a fit of hysterical laughter, a result of your adrenaline high and the last throes of your panic.You threw the filthy t-shirt off of your head, inhaling the air that you had once taken for granted.

In your brief delirium, you recalled Dean Winchester retelling his old raising-from-perdition story. He had hardly mentioned climbing out of his grave, as if it hadn't been important. His focus had mainly been on the mystery of the angels and how they turned out to be douches. He had made this part sound like a. Slice. Of. Pie.

And, well, you got a freaking reality check today. Because it was an entire body workout, and it was exactly as terrifying as it sounded—no, worse. Waking up in pitch darkness, in a small space, with a corpse, six feet under the ground? Hell naw. You were lucky you'd had enough trauma to know how to push back your panic. Because two years ago, you probably would have rotted down there, helpless.

It left you to wonder, though. Why the ghouls left you alive, and not the dead guy. All the other grave desecrations had been long dead—but you were the first to live.

First, you were going to have to get back to the motel. You already knew the boys were gonna freak.

///

When you opened up the hotel door, the Winchesters sprang out of their chairs, barking your name in surprise. "You're—you're…" Sam stammered as he took in your state. You couldn't blame him; the grave had covered you in dirt from neck to toe.

"Alive. I know," you said. "I'm also really dirty. You mind if I use your guys' shower?"

Sam blinked. "No, not at all, but uh, seriously—what happened?"

You let out a halfhearted, breathy laugh. "Nothing I couldn't handle." You tried to shrug past Dean, but he caught your arm.

"You were gone for three hours," he said.

"Look, we're just worried about you. Could you humor us?" Sam added. His eyes were pleading and damn hard to say no to.

You scowled. "You two gotta tell me what happened on your end first. Deal?"

"Deal," Dean said. "You know most of it. Several grave desecrations of old gravestones, but fresh bodies where bones should be. People in town go missing a few days before that. We split: you went to check on the newest body, while we checked the cemetery. We ganked the ghoul, figured you were coming back from the morgue, but you never showed. After about three hours of looking, we came back here to see if you had maybe come back at all. Actually, we were just about to leave again." Dean clapped his hands. "Did you ever find anything at the morgue?"

"Yeah, the guy had died from…" …asphyxiation. You trailed off. "Oh crap…"

"What? What is it?"

"Asphyxiation. The guy… he, uh, he had died from asphyxiation. Originally, I mean. The ghoul had been burying his food to eat later. Like… like a squirrel. Must have taken the guy out to snack on, but he was already dead." It was all coming together. "The ghoul was either stupid or confident because he got sloppy. Probably because he was too hungry to care. That's why… why I… why I..." Damn it, you let that slip. You peered around them, looking for escape. "Guys, hey, can I just shower? I really just wanna—"

This time, Sam caught your arm. He was gentle, but he had a firm grip. "That's why you what?"

You clammed up, peeling your eyes away from them. "Why I… uh…" you couldn't think of an excuse, and the silence was becoming too long to make a convincing one on the spot. You should have walked into this room with a workable lie in mind, but all you had wanted was to shower, scrub all the dirt off your skin, and to lather soap where you had touched that god-awful corpse. You just wanted to be clean and to sleep.

And you seriously were trying to tell them things. Lying sucked, but this? You weren’t sure if you could tell them this and come out of it in one piece.

Sam softly said your name again, trying to bring your eyes back to his. It was too easy. He knew your tells. Your eyes always gave you away if you lied.

We're never going to let this die, your inner Dean voice sang. And you internally swatted it away. 

I know, you thought sourly. Behind your eyes, a pressure built. Just let me go so I can cry alone. I can't cry in front of you. I can't. "He—it… might have…  buried me alive." It took everything you had in you for your voice to stay steady.

Both of them rocked back a little. Dean looked a little dazed, and Sam looked pale. Sam tilted his head, "Excuse me, buried—?"

"It explains the dirt," Dean sighed. "No offense, sweetheart, but you smell like a toilet."

Oh, shove it, Winchester.

"Yeah, I know. That's why I just want to shower—"

"Hold on," Sam said. He had his hands combing his hair. "Hold on, hold on, just— am I the only one bothered by this?! She�� you could have died!"

"But I didn't," "But she didn't," you and Dean said in unison. He winked at you and you rolled your eyes back.

"Sam. I have been through a lot. You know it, I know it. I'm not that girl from two years ago. You said it yourself once before: I'm a Winchester now. And I'm not a Winchester without a few near death experiences."

Sam scowled. "You two are so frustrating. Fine, go. Go take your shower. This conversation isn't over, though."

Thank God. You could handle this later. The conversation alone had keyed you up. You were burning with tension, anxiety, and trauma. You waved a hand at him. "Fine. But can we do it in the morning? I am so frickin' exhausted." It wasn't a lie; you had bruises lining your entire back, and your face muscles hurt from all the fake expressions you were sending Sam.

They can't know that I'm weak. How hard could it be, anyway?

Dean did it once, like a freaking champ. Why couldn't you just suck it up and be a big girl?

He looked on at you with that sad, thoughtful look of his. Complete with the infamous Winchester puppy eyes. "Yeah, sure."

You were happy to get out of the conversation—and this hunt—relatively unscathed. Hopefully, you would never have to go through that crap ever again, or you really didn't think you'd be able to keep yourself together like you just had.

When you shut the bathroom door behind you, you let the silent tears run down your face. You bit your hand, heaving, wishing you had the freedom to scream. But you couldn't, so you didn't. All you did was turn on the shower right as you let out a quiet sob into a towel to muffle it out. 

Why did your life suck so bad?

///

#supernatural #supernatural series #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural gif#SPN#spn gifs#spnfandom#fanfiction#fanfic#Supernatural fanfic#dean winchester#dean#dean fanfiction#sam fanfiction#Sam Winchester#sam#reader#reader insert#x reader#dean x reader#sam x reader#sam x you#sam x y/n#sam x platonic reader#dean x platonic reader#fanfics#fanfictions#spn fanfics#spn fanfictions

[the-fandom-took-over-my-life]

The one where he blipped and you didn’t (Ch. 1)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Summary: Peter blipped. You didn’t. Now you’re both the same age and he’s confused by the kid he used to know and the girl you are now.

Word Count: 3k-ish

Warnings: Language, INFINITY WAR AND ENDGAME SPOILERS

A/N: Okay, this is Chapter One to this series. It’s a little long, I got carried away (sorry not sorry). Let me know what you think! Remember I also do requests, pls don’t get discouraged by my amateur profile, I’m still figuring it all out :)

Read the intro first

CHAPTER ONE

"Y/N, get your ass out of bed, you're going to be late." you heard Rhodey scold through your open door. 

"Language" you mumbled sleepily. 

"Goddamn- I don't have time for this." you heard him grumble under his breath and suddenly the fluorescent lights in your room switched on and you yelped in surprise, flinging the covers over your head. Rhodey chuckled and you heard your door swing shut. 

"If I come back in 20 minutes and you're still in bed, I'm going to personally fly you to school." he said through the door and walked away.

You smiled sleepily. Rhodey, though he was tough on you, cared about you like his own daughter. Nearly eleven years ago your mother had died in a car crash and you were sent to live with your father, Tony. You, being so young, were excited to finally meet your father. Tony, on the other hand, was a wreck. He had just announced to the world that he was Iron Man and the last thing he wanted was to take care of and raise a child, whether it be his or not. He had all intention of sending you off to boarding school but, when he met you, he refused to make the same mistakes his father did. You instantly melted his heart with your smile and your big E/C eyes. After deciding to take you in, he asked Rhodey to be your Godfather, not that he was a very religious man, he just wanted someone else to be there for you if there came a day that he couldn't. 

Deciding not to test Rhodey's threat, you rolled out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. Your reflection in the mirror, in the such loving words of Peter, looked as if death had walked over you...twice. It wasn't a secret that, since the battle and your dad's death, you haven't been sleeping well. Thankfully, nightmares were a thing of the past ever since Bruce gave you something that evaded them. You remembered waking up screaming, tears streaming down your face, causing Rhodey to come and calm you down in the middle of the night. Every night you were forced to relive a part of the battle, and every night you were forced to see your dad die. Now, your sleep was a void that, although lacked the trauma, was a difficult place to find peace.

You scrubbed your face and brushed your teeth, avoiding your face in the mirror, and walked back into your room. Not really in the mood to dress nice, you pulled on some black tights and a big sweatshirt that was draped over your desk chair. You slipped on your converse and walked back into the bathroom to put concealer under your eyes. The last thing your need is for one of your teachers to send your to the counselors office because of your physical appearance...again.

Deciding you looked presentable, you slung your backpack over your shoulder and started downstairs before rushing back to your room to grab your phone, still charging on your nightstand. You found 6 new messages. 

(1) Spider-thing: Hey are you gonna go to Flash's party tonight?

(2) Spider-thing: Don't tell me you slept in again

(3) Spider-thing: ok nvm I'll see u at school

(4) Ned: Hey Y/N u wanna go to Flash's tonight? 

(5) Ned: Peter might confess his undying love for u, u never know 

(6) Flash: Hope to see u at my party tonight I'll b waiting ;)

You rolled your eyes at Flash's text, and clicked the notification form Ned. 

Y/N: yeah right after he confesses his undying love for Flash 

He replied immediately, making you chuckle. 

Ned: I'm telling u, he's got it bad 4 u 

You rolled your eyes and slipped your phone in your back pocket. You found it funny; Ned's obsession with the idea of you and Peter as a couple, and sometimes you went along with it just to tease Peter, but that's all it was, teasing. Sure, he was hot and sweet and funny and, before the snap, these things nourished a major crush that bloomed in your little pre-teen heart. But things changed, you got older and, when he came back the same age as you, you had to remember that he probably still saw you as that little girl he used to babysit. 

~TIME SKIP~

"Bye Happy, I'll see you after school!" you said, blowing Happy a kiss as you closed the car door. Happy rolled down his window. 

"Call me if anything happens. Just call and I'll come and get you." 

"I will." you said watched him drive off. Happy was, despite the fact that it's been a few months since everything happened, still worried about you. You didn't mind it though, you loved him for it.

Sighing, you walked into the building that leered over you. For the first time today, you realized how heavy your backpack was and you made a beeline for your locker. You smiled sadly and recalled how Nat would always get after you for carrying too much and you would get the lecture about how, even though you were an Avenger, you still had to take care of yourself. You stacked the books in your locker, slammed the door shut, and found yourself face to face with Peter. 

"SHIT!" you shrieked as he howled with laughter. 

"You shoulda- you should have seen your face" he said between breaths. 

You rolled your eyes and shoved him into the lockers. 

"This isn't funny you idiot, I could have attacked you" you said despite the smile growing on your lips.

"I can take you Stark" he said, regaining his breath. 

"In your dreams Parker"

It was his turn to roll his eyes. It was then that you noticed the two coffee cups he held. You sighed in relief and gratefully took one from him. 

"Anyway, you ignored my texts this morning. You wanna go to the party?" he said falling in step with you as you walked towards your first class. 

"I don't know. Flash's parties always end with someone almost drowning in the pool or jumping off the roof." 

"Oh c'mon, let's go. Maybe this time it'll be Flash jumping off the roof and it'll put us all out of our misery." 

You couldn't stop the giggle that bubbled from your lips and you were about to reply when someone called you from behind. 

You both turned to see Brad Davis walking briskly towards you. You smiled at him and slowed your pace so he could catch up. 

"Hey Y/N, hey Peter." he said walking up beside you. 

"Sup" Peter grumbled. You sent him a sideways glare and turned to up at Brad.

Despite the numerous times you questioned Peter about his silent grudge against Brad, he could never give you a straight answer on why he hated him. "I don't trust him" he would always say, but you could never figure out why. Brad, like you, survived the snap and, because you were both in the same grade, became friends. 

"Are you guys going to the party tonight?" he asked.

"Jeez, is that the only thing everyone cares about?" you said jokingly.

"Well, it is the only good thing about high school" he said, making you laugh. 

Over the past couple of years, Brad was the person who got to hear all the complaints you had about high school. He had always been an annoyingly upbeat guy and he took all your complaints in stride, turning them into something that you should be grateful for. The last five years gave you very few things to be grateful for, but Brad was one of them. 

"You're definitely right about that. But, yeah we're planning on going" you said, slightly nudging Peter next to you.

"Awesome. I'll see you there then." Brad said and waved as he turned down a passing hallway. 

"Aw, I love Brad" you said fondly as you watched him disappear in the growing crowd of students. You looked up at Peter just in time to see him roll his eyes at your comment. You frowned at him, annoyed of his attitude. 

"Dude, seriously, what the hell is your problem?" 

 "Nothing. He just rubs me the wrong way I guess."  he said with a shrug.

It was your turn to roll your eyes.

 "Oh c'mon. you're just mad that he became hot while you were gone and now all the girls want him" 

"It's just weird. One day he was this tiny annoying kid and the next he's huge." Peter said before bringing his coffee to his lips. 

"Well it wasn't like that for all of us." you reminded him. "And how is that weird for you? You literally got bit by a spider and became hot overnight." 

At your words Peter choked on his coffee and coughed furiously, trying to breathe through the hot liquid. 

"Y-you think I'm hot?" he spluttered in disbelief 

For about the millionth time this morning, you rolled your eyes at him. 

"Dude, have you seen your abs? I had the biggest crush on you and your stupid hot spider muscles" you said with a smirk.

Peter stopped in his tracks in the middle of the hall and stared at you with huge eyes.

 "You had a crush on me?" 

 "Yeah, when I was like 13. You don't think I actually needed so much help on my algebra homework, did you? What's the matter with you?" you said laughing

Peter was staring at you like you had just dropped from another planet.

"I-I just never knew you felt that way about me." he said, eyes still wide.

You rose your eyebrows at him. 

"Yeah, well, I was a kid. I also thought the tooth fairy was real. I grew up. Anyway, let's forget that I was once a pre-teen and move on."

Peter furrowed his eyebrows at you, but let the subject go. He walked quietly beside you and barely even acknowledged you when you turned into your calculus class, telling him you'll see him later. Confused, you shot a text to Ned.

Y/N: Dude Peter's being weird

Ned: He's always weird what's ur point? 

Y/N: true

Y/N: ur right, nvm I'll see u at lunch

Ned: cool

Accepting that Ned was right, you chose to forget about Peter and try to focus on the party that awaited tonight as your teacher started the lecture. 'Derivatives' you thought with a smirk, 'what child’s play”.

~TIME SKIP~

"Alright losers, we'll meet at Peter's place at 7 then, right?" you said as the three you you walked out of the school's parking lot.

"Yeah definitely. I'm thinking about bringing back my hat. Betty says it compliments my face structure, whatever that means." Ned said, earning a laugh form you. 

"Earth to Peter. You are being uncharacteristically quiet" you said to Peter who was staring into space as you walked.

"Sorry, right. My place at 7." he said, jolting from his daze.

You eyed him, but, before you could question his behavior, you heard a familiar honk and turned around to see Happy waiting for you. 

"I'll see you guys tonight." you said with a wave, and walked toward the car. 

Peter watched the car drive away, and as soon as it disappeared down the road, he turned to Ned. 

"Y/N used to have a crush on me!" he blurted out. 

Ned furrowed his eyebrows. "Okay, and?"

"What do you mea- she used to like me! Like, like me like me" Peter said 

Ned smirked 

"And you're so freaked out about this why?" 

Peter stared at him. "I don't know. It's just weird"

"Or is it because you just found out that the girl you are head over heels for used to have a crush on you?" 

Peter rolled his eyes. 

"I do not have a crush on Y/N, how many times to I have to tell you. And, anyway, I'm not freaked out, it's just weird." 

"Sure Peter." 

~TIME SKIP`

You knocked on the door to Peter's apartment and dusted yourself off, waiting for someone to answer. You were excited to get to the party and relax for the first time this week. You looked down at your outfit for about the millionth time and inspected it. You were wearing a black sheer long sleeve with a solid black stripe around your chest and a pair of distressed light wash skinny jeans and black platform doc martin boots.

You were adjusted the hem of your top when May opened the door and immediately enveloped you in a big hug. 

"Y/N how are you? I feel like I haven't seen you in so long." 

You had actually seen her last week, but you smiled at her comment. 

"I'm good May. Are the boys here?" you asked, walking into the apartment.  

"Yeah they are in Peter's room. Maybe you can help Peter find something to wear, he's more indecisive than I am." she chuckled. 

"I'll see what I can do." you said with a chuckle and walked toward his closed door but stopped when you heard them talking.

"It's obvious that you like her Peter, all you have to do is tell her.” you heard Ned say through the door. 

Peter had a crush on a girl? Why hasn't he told you about it? You didn't really know how to feel about this new information. Peter was your best friend and, sure he had every right to like who he pleases, but you couldn't help but feel a little hurt. You were always the only girl in his life, even when you were younger, and you couldn't imagine Peter with anyone else. I mean, you’re not dating or anything. But, it was not your decision to make, and with that final thought, you pushed your feelings aside and opened the door to reveal Peter standing in the middle of the room in just his boxers.

"Y/N!" he shouted, his face turning beet red. 

"Oh relax Peter, it's not like I've never seen you like this" you said with a playful smirk.

It was true, you were always the one to patch him up after a bad patrol. 

"Anyway, May told me that you couldn't figure out what to wear so I've come to the rescue." you said and walked past him to his closet. 

Peter, for the first time, realized what you were wearing and his face flushed even darker. He took in you sheer top that showed your stomach and back and the skinny jeans that accented your...

"Y/N you look really nice" Ned piped up from the bed, wiggling his eyebrows at his visibly flustered friend. 

"Aw thank you Ned" you said, turning from the closet with an armful of clothes which you handed to Peter who refused to meet your eyes.

 "Okay, put this on" you said to Peter, and walked out of the room to chat with May in the meantime. 

"May, has Peter talked to you about any girls recently?" you said as you walked into the kitchen where she was drying dishes. 

She looked up and gave you a faux look of surprise. 

"No, not recently. Why do you ask?" she said, handing you the plate she was holding. 

She, like Ned, also had her suspicions about the relationship between you and Peter. She’d always noticed the way Peter looks at you and the way his face just lights up whenever she mentions you. She, too, thought the pair of you would make a great couple.

You went to put the plate in it's respective cabinet and shrugged. "I don't know, I was just wondering." 

She smiled at you. "I don't know, I always thought he would end up with you." she said slyly, picking up another dish. 

Your eyes widened, and you were about to answer when Peter appeared in the doorway. He was wearing the simple outfit you had picked for him: dark blue jeans and a black tee shirt. You couldn't help but admire how the shirt accented his abs and his toned arms. 

"You look good Pete." you said and chuckled at the light blush that dusted his cheeks. 

"just one more thing" you said as you walked up to him and reached for his head. He leaned back and looked down at you in confusion. 

"Oh c'mon, don't you trust me? I won't bite." you said, smiling. 

He narrowed his eyes at you playfully, but leaned back toward you and you carded you fingers through his hair, mussing it up. 

You fixed you attention on his hair and you missed the way he closed his eyes and leaned into your relaxing touch. He was also acutely aware of how close you were to him and the intoxicating smell of your perfume. 

"You guys ready?" Ned said suddenly from behind, and you pulled away, ending the moment Peter was relishing. 

You stepped back and admired your work. "What do you think May?" you said without taking your eyes off of him. 

"He's never looked better" she replied teasingly and Peter rolled his eyes as you laughed. 

"Yeah, can we just go already?" he said, faking annoyance and smiled at you. 

"Yeah, let's go!" you said and you grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the door, Ned and May trailing behind you, sharing a knowing glance. 

You led him through the hallway, toward the exit and Peter tried his hardest to ignore the tingling in his hand as it held yours. He didn't want to admit it, but, recently, he couldn't remember what is was about you that reminded him of a sister. It was becoming harder to see you as the little 13 year old he used to know, but he couldn't tell Ned that yet. He didn't want to have to deal with any 'I told you so's right now, so he just relished the feeling of your hand in his and, for the first time this week, began to really look forward to the party. 

[simplyyeol]

ten out of ten

word count: 3.638

pairing: kim jongin x reader

genre: fluff! sports college! au (weightlifting fairy kim bok joo, anyone?)

author's note: hello! it’s me ;; lol, um so I was supposed to finish this sooo long ago for the valentine’s day collab with @lucyandthepen @baekbuns @jiminiesthighss and @starcrossed8 ! read there parts at @v-daycollab, they’re all so good and fluffy and uwu. anyways i hope you like it!!

+

“I’m so sorry, Jongin.” You muttered into the phone for the millionth time in just the past five minutes of your phone call with your boyfriend.

“It’s not your fault, that you got sick. We can just go on a date next weekend and say it’s Valentine’s day.”

You chuckled before coughing, a nervous cough more than a sick one. He’s so thoughtful. The guilt slowly started to creep up you.

“Okay, I’ll let you rest, Y/N. Get well soon.” His sweet words made you wince. You really hope karma won’t beat you up for this.

The screen went back to your basic wallpaper. The call was over.

You made eye contact with your roommate who was lounging on her bed, hugging her Pikachu plush, before you screamed. Or well, more like a girly shriek that bounced off the empty walls of your shared apartment as your feet frustratedly kicked the empty air wishing that your luck would go and fuck itself. You’d somehow lost balance on the bed (anything was possible with you) and tumbled off the bed, a loud thud echoing throughout the empty room. You clenched your hand, void of your phone as you’d thrown it somewhere else immediately after the phone call ended. Hopefully, you didn’t throw it too far. You couldn’t bear to starve to fix a broken screen, again.

You struggled to come out of the blankets that you’d wrapped yourself in (claiming that if you acted like a sick person maybe you’d sound more like one) and scrambled to the wall mirror attached on the wall next to your bed.

A gasp left your mouth as your fingers brushed over the big, red, disgusting, and very ugly pimple that resided on the tip of your nose.

“Did it get bigger?” Your roommate questions from her bed.

A shriek comes out in response. You cover your mouth, muttering, “Why is it so big?” You poke at it a few more times, careful not to touch it too much, reading somewhere that you should absolutely not touch a pimple if you don’t want it to scar.

“Wow, it’s so big.”

Min, your roommate, ducks as your hand flies straight towards her cheek. You almost smack her in the face but she’s always been blessed with fast reflexes, part of the reason why she has trophies stacked upon one another in your shared medal case, well, cabinet. If it wasn’t for that, she’d be sporting a good hand-sized mark on her face. More specifically, your hand-size mark.

You smack her on the shoulder a few times because she scared the living shit out of you (how does she move that fast?) still careful with your strength as not to hurt her (again) before you jump back into your bed and bury your face in your pillow. It takes a minute for you to calm down, and flail some more about how bad your luck is, and for Min to recover from her ‘near death experience’ (she deserved it) before she comes over to pat your head and attempt at soothing away your loneliness that you’ve been misfortuned with on Valentine’s Day.

“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t have a Valentine either.”

“Oh shut up, you chose to be lonely.” Your voice is muffled by your pillow so it sounds more like gibberish than anything.

Min was a part of the swim team at your college. With both of you attending one of the grandest sports colleges in Korea, that fact alone made her “popular with the guys.” Her words, not yours. She was also pretty and had an amazing body from swimming every day, every week, every hour. You, on the other hand, were just a measly Taekwondo major. You know how to swing a good kick, maybe flip a few people, but you envied Min’s abs, and thighs, and her extremely model-like physique. It’s not like you didn’t have any muscles or nice looking features, they just paled in comparison to Min’s. The girl eats so much, you wonder where it all goes. 

You’d gotten here on a scholarship and Min had been scouted from a national competition. You’d been lucky to just have been runner up in a grand Taekwondo competition that your teacher had signed you up for. Thank god for the fact that people do (sometimes) look at people other than first.

It's been three years since you’ve started college. Three years of hard work, training, bodybuilding, sweat, tears. Being a third year at the college, had its perks, though. For example, not having to do your seniors laundry just because they’re older and they told you so. Those people who take the notion of respect and use it in that way piss you off. A lot.

Maybe it has something to do with Taekwondo since respect is a major factor that needs to be taken into consideration when doing the sport, or you were just that amazing and great of a person. You lean more towards the latter option.

You’re embarrassed to say that outside of your own department, people basically knew you as the ‘Taekwondo major who fights everyone.’ Min’s words, not yours. She'd told you this one fateful day when a group of freshmen guys scurried away when you made eye contact with them. 

The first time you actually encountered Jongin, your boyfriend, who you’d just bailed on over a phone call, was at the beginning of this year. About nine months ago (you weren’t counting or anything, just an estimation off the top of your head, totally). You’ve obviously seen him around (he’s literally in the same year and college as you, how could you not?). A part of the swim team, with everyone knowing who he was with just his name, and he was cute too. A swimmer with good looks? Kim Jongin has all the women swooning.

It was a good afternoon, after you ate lunch, walking to practice, you and your teammates filling up the silence about how nice the Hapkido team’s, Byun Baekhyun’s kick was in his latest match. And his ass, but that doesn’t matter (the guy’s got a really cute butt, though, good for him). But in all honesty, you all should get a few tips from him.

A man around the age of forty, you assumed he was one of the teachers or mentors just from his looks, but he acted like a total asshole, walked up to you and started ordering you around.

“Finally! I need you all to take these chairs to the big stadium!” He shouted at your team. It was only the third years, and you all were only passing from the cafeteria to get to your gym. Why would he ask random students out of the blue?

You step forward, seeing no one else in the gym. “Are you talking to us?”

He waved his clipboard in the air and huffs in annoyance. “Well, who else? You guys are students here aren’t you?”

“Well, yeah. Are you a teacher here? I’ve never seen you here before.” You cross your arms over your chest, as he eyes you up and down.

“Obviously, now stop asking questions. They need these in the big stadium before one-thirty.”

“No one told us that we had to do this.” You sneered, mocking him. “We don’t even know who you are and we’re Taekwondo majors. We don’t even lift weights, and you expect us to take all these to the stadium across the school?”

You feel someone elbow you in the side. “We can just take them, it’s fine—“

“Yeah, listen to her, you girly. At least she shows respect to her sensei.”

“Sensei?” You spit. “I only give respect to a sensei that deserves it.”

“Hey! Hey! What’s going on here?” You turn to the side to see the swim coach walk into the gym with his whole team following behind him. You barely, not even for a millisecond, lock eyes with Kim Jongin who was right next to him before you turned away, embarrassment finally flooding through your veins. “Y/N? Are you picking another fight?”

Embarrassment never lasts with you however, when you're wrongly accused.

“Wait, wait, wait a second.” You spread your arms and throw a glare at the man. Coach Kim awaits your excuse this time. You could see how bored he looks already and here you are thinking that you’re on good terms with him. “He told us,” you point to your teammates, “to take these,” your finger points to the stacks of chairs, that looked to be about five hundred chairs, “to the stadium.”

Mr. Kim chuckles under his breath. “That’s it? He’s the performance director, Y/N, and I’m glad that you took precautions, but—“ he turned to the rest of your teammates, “none of you have ever seen him before?”

One of the smaller third-year girls spoke. “I think I’ve seen him around the dorms a few times.”

“See! You should’ve said that earlier, so all this wouldn’t have happened!” He clapped his hands in a very teacherly manner. “Now all is settled! Just help him out this once, yeah?”

You scoffed but didn’t say anything.

“Great! I’ll see you all later.” He clapped your back and waved at the other girls before making his way towards the exit with the rest of the team following him, whispering among themselves. You really hoped that they weren’t talking about you.

“Now that all’s settled—“ the performance directed twirled his pen, very uncoordinatedly you may add, as it flew out of his hand and landed behind him. He turned around to pick the pen up when you heard his pants rip. 

He looked back, surprised, but his hand was too late to cover what everyone saw.

You gasped. Another girl screamed. Before everything went to chaos.

Hot pink had peeled out from the rip and you were clearly able to see the strands of a fucking thong coming out from his pants. You grabbed a chair and used it to shield you from him, when he turned around and, and had the audacity to smirk at you.

“Do—don’t come closer!” You stuttered, as you shoved the chair towards him, a slight tremble visible in your voice. “Someone go call Coach Kim!” He stepped closer, hands raised wearily, and a chorus of screams rang throughout the gym.

At that exact moment, with you clutching the chair in front of you, a few girls behind you, and you cowering in front of a completely disgusting psychopath, Jongin came running in with Coach Kim hot on his heels. It was all a blur from there.

Everything was taken care of cleanly in the end, however, you were very much scarred. Never in your life had you thought there were people who actually did those type of things.

“Hey, are you okay?” You looked up from the office chair to see Jongin, looking at you. Was he... worried? No, that’s ridiculous. He didn’t even know you.

“I—um, yeah. Just a... weird day.” You winced. Great, when you really needed to be good at words you turn into an ugly mess.

“Yeah, weird is an understatement. Come on, I’ll walk you to your dorms.” He held his hand out for you, which you embarrassingly didn’t see. If you hadn’t seen him awkwardly wipe his hand on his jacket when you got up you wouldn’t have even noticed.

You couldn’t help but think that maybe it was because you were a Taekwondo major. People never saw you as feminine or girly. They reserved their hands to be held by art, literature, dance, rhythmic gymnastics types of girls. Not by a ‘strong and boyish’ Y/N. You also weren’t too bad looking. Nothing over the top, but you could look good if you tried. You just didn’t try seeing that no one really cares in the end.

He held the door open for you on your way out with you mumbling a small thank you before silence loomed over the two of you. You were jittery, finding the silence uncomfortable before he spoke up.

“I guess Coach kept only you and me for the witnesses.” He muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets to shield him from the cool evening breeze. Everything had taken longer than expected, well this has never happened to you, so it’s not like you could speak from experience, but from the times you’ve visited the main office, this is the longest it has been.

“Yeah, I’m glad he didn’t bring the other girls into it.”

“Yeah.” He paused. “I think that was really brave of you.”

Your head whipped towards him before you laughed.

Your laugh echoed throughout the empty courtyard, and maybe, the shock had finally started filling to you from the horrible day you just went through You may have heard Jongin’s join in with you in the middle, but no, he probably found you even weirder, or crazy or possessed. It’s happened before. “Please? Me? Brave?” You scoffed. “I was literally shaking.”

He lightly nudged your side. “I’ve never seen someone hold a chair that confidently. Ten out of ten from me.”

You chuckled. “Thanks, Jongin.”

It all went uphill from there. Morning chats when you didn’t have class and accompanied Min to the pool, you’d spot him. Small talks led to you going out eating together, watching movies, and even shopping whenever you felt like it, as he needed a girl’s advice on what to wear for another one of his blind dates. He really was popular from how many times that had happened. Obviously, you were jealous, after growing a small crush on him. Well, it’s not exactly your fault, who wouldn’t be able to.

You only started dating last month, with you fumbling over your sentences for at least an hour after he confessed to you (apparently those blind dates that he needed to get ready for were excuses to go out with you. Please, you absolutely melted when he confessed). Because Kim fucking Jongin confessed to you. Sure, you had one boyfriend before in high school, but everyone knew that Insik was a tool. So, that doesn’t really count.

+

Lounging on the couch, stuffing popcorn in your face with blankets thrown around all over you, you jumped when you heard a thud coming from your room. You jolted upright, confused as to if something fell or someone broke into your house and was about to kill you.

Min left earlier for practice. Checking the time, you deemed it was about time she got back. Could she even help if a thief broke in? What if it wasn’t even a thief? What if it was a pedo—you choked just at the thought of it.

No other sound came from the room, but before you could call the coast clear, you had to make sure. Throwing the covers off of you, you padded to your room, your hand reaching out to turn on the light—

“Boo!”

The scream that flew out of your mouth would no doubt have been heard by your neighbors. Your back hit the wall, hands coming up to cover your mouth when you looked up to see if you could recognize the person who’s about to steal all your money and kill you. But then your eyes met those familiar, warm brown ones and you screamed even louder.

“Jongin?” You shriek, enraged. “What the fuck?” You grab a pillow that just happened to be on the floor next to you and chucked it as hard as you can at him.

He doesn’t look phased, a small smile spreading on his lips. You cross your arms, an unconscious pout forming on your lips as you send a glare in his direction.

He slowly walks towards you and you back away, suddenly feeling trapped. What’s happening—why is he—why does this feel like one of those movies where the guy traps the girl against the wall and kisses—

Your own foot betrays you. It knocks itself into your other foot sending you tumbling, and you obviously grab onto the closest thing available to steady yourself, which is obviously Jongin.

A stream of curses flies past your lips as your back makes contact with the floor and Jongin collapses on top of you. On top of you. On top of you.

You can feel your face flaring when you look down feeling something on your chest. That was Jongin. And his face was buried in your neck.

The door opens at that exact moment and your roommate enters. She analyzes the situation before making a move.

“I’m out.”

Both you and Jongin’s head turn to her, finally noticing her presence when her back is turned as she closes the door.

“Wait! Min—“

Jongin stumbles as he scrambles off of you, and you cough way too much for normal, your face probably tomato red at the moment. You hear the front door close, and you internally throw a roundhouse at your friend. It was not what it looked like.

“Well... um.” You look towards Jongin who’s running his fingers, distractedly through his hair, a sheepish look on his face. “I brought soup.” You look towards the lunch box that tumbled from his hands during your fall. You make eye contact, then burst out laughing. The soup didn’t survive the fall either.

+

“You know that pimple looks cute on you.”

You gasp handing flying to your nose to cover it. It’s been a few hours since Jongin crashed at your place. You’d totally forgotten that you were supposed to go on a date with him and bailed on it because you had a ginormous monstrosity on your nose and wanted nothing to do with him until it was gone.

“Is that why you said you were sick?” Your eyes widened when you realized that you were caught.

“N—no! I’m actually sick!” You faked a cough just for an extra measure.

He suddenly leaned towards you and you felt a wave of deja vu wash over you as you leaned back. It seemed you leaned a little too far back, as you almost fell off the couch. His hand shot out and grabbed your shoulder, to which he stilled you before his hand cupped your face. You looked back at him wide-eyed, his eyes holding yours for what felt like an eternity. You could feel your face burning up under his touch.

He hummed while pulling away. “Yeah, you’re not sick.” You scoffed, turning away from him, letting your hair drape over your face hoping he couldn’t see you become tomato red. Confrontation is not your friend. Jongin looking at you like that is not your friend either.

You cupped your own face with your hands wishing that your cool fingers could calm your red blood cells. Any more and you’d burst. “You can’t go all up and close to me like that without askin—“you muttered turning around and almost screaming again when you saw just how much space was between the two of you.

With both of you on your couch, your blankets covering the both of you. He was almost hovering over you, leaning on to the couch arm for support, as to not fall (unlike you, who almost fell earlier, he has precautions). His breath fanned over your face and your eyes searched him, frantically. You had no idea what was going on.

His voice was no louder than a whisper when he spoke. “Do I need permission—“ and then he swooped down and kissed you.

You’ve only kissed one other guy before and then, it was mediocre. You deduced that maybe, that was just how kissing was. You didn’t see the appeal that all the other girls talked about. It was more of an awkward mouth sucking, lip biting, and teeth clashing kind of experience. It was horrible, per se. However, today you find out that appeal that all the girls would talk about it. It wasn’t kissing that had no appeal, it was the tool that you had kissed. He was nothing compared to Kim Jongin.

It was a gentle kiss. his lips pressed to yours, fingers playing with the baby hairs that framed your face. Your hands felt awkward placed on your lap, as they started moving upwards, exploring his broad chest. Does he work out that much, good Lord—

He pulled away slowly, his forehead touching yours, causing your hands to still. Too bad. You sighed, lips parting and opened your eyes. A small smile formed on your lips when you saw his eyes flutter open an almost dazed look coating them. “—to do this?” He finished his sentence and you only just registered what he said before.

You gasp, flabbergasted. He kissed you like that to just ask if he needs permission to—! You smacked his chest hopefully not too hard, but still enough to make up for him teasing you.

“Ow,” he whined. “I come to bring you food when I thought you were sick, and then I find out that you bailed on me, and now you’re abusing me.” He pouts, and you see it as one of the cutest things in the world. He perfectly resembles a kicked puppy. You literally coo on the inside. He’s too adorable for his own good.

You open your mouth to retort but he cuts you off with another chaste kiss. You frown at him because you forgot what you were going to say.

“It’s alright, though. I think this is a pretty good Valentine’s day. Ten out of ten from me.” He leaves you speechless, and you can’t even say anything when he winks at you before he brings you into another kiss.

It doesn’t really count as a date. But, you agree. You'd give this ‘date’ a ten out of ten as well.

[rvmvns]

 skrrt skrrt it’s rrmert (death tw)

roman kim / 24 / he/him (cis male) / fire 

family life

this kid has no siblings, two parents, lives alone in an underground home in barcelona because his parents were kicked out from their coven back home. as they should, they were shady demonic people. natalia and abel kim were, at one point, highly respected in their coven. they were almost confided with in anything and everything with the leader: u kno like regulating rules, rituals, new witches, etc etc. but until they conspired to kill the head and were sentenced to exile w / no powers ( v painful process ) but not without ANOTHER cost, they were not allowed to take their son. which is fckn dumb of them bc he could have learned to  u kno , learn how to deal w his shit but nope, so they literally kidnapped roman, u kno why not it’s their son, natalia BIRTHED him and his pea sized head, and flew to barcelona and lived underground ever since 

he was always homeschooled, he never understood why until you know one day things went up in flames haha.. haha this will be funny later, maybe not it’s messed up actually

he was never allowed to go outside the home they lived in, it was a town house on the outside, living under a non magical folks home which their parents bargained with and bada bing bada boom, but that didn’t stop him from sneaking out. 

his elemental is fire, which easily pairs with the sun and he draws his energy from the big ball red giant in the sky but fire, is the main game, you think of fire and you think of destruction, warmth, consuming anything and everything in its path and in a way his power does match with his personality but we’ll get to that later need to explain why and how he murdered his parents

okay so, nat and abe are dumb as hell thinking roman wouldn’t start to lose his mind by his 10th birthday wondering why he has no friends, why he isn’t allowed to see anyone (he had a romance fling at 9, fell in love w a babe up the street and was mad he couldn't see her. pre teen stuff.) he wanted to essentially live a normal life, play with the other kids but nat and abe were scared he would be found or tracked or someone or SOMETHING would be lurking to take their son bc they violated rules and conspired to murder 

so by his 12th birthday he decided he’d run away, why not. packed up his shit and left but he dumb as hell for not thinking his parents weren’t tracking him  or had some tracking thing on him, they never wanted to lose him but hmm maybe shouldn't have decided to MURDER and KIDNAP

so there they were, finding roman in an alley trying to figure out where to go from there and they were pleading him with him to come home and just understand where they were coming from (oh this boy did not realize he was a witch ever, in his life) and he was getting angry to the point if u felt his hands you’d.. feel like you’d be scorched anyways, 

his parents forget that just bc they don’t have their powers, doesn’t mean roman doesn’t, so out of anger.. pure anger, frustration and all that, he sets them on fire and watches them burn to death in front of him and not only that, the entire alley sets up in flames and little trash cans start exploding and a whole building catches fire bc his parents were running around screaming bloody murder and he literally just watched like what the FUCK is going ON stop burning!! he rly tried the whole pew pew w his hands

after they died, he literally stood there mortified and literally over their scorched bodies crying and using his hands like “please, please work. please.” and he was screaming crying that his stupid hands can make THAT happen maybe his parents can come back to life but nah.. theyre dead and his soul died right then and there 

it was also when he was found by his coven through the outburst, all it had to take was one boop spurt of magique for them to go ok we found him ! and he was dragged back to their coven in vermont , leaving tht part of barcelona to burn and since then, through little explaining and training and eventual enrollment at blackwater he understood but he also hated his parents for never telling him bc a. coulda avoided involuntary murder. mans thinks bout that night all the time. horrible. HORRIBLE

personality and other stuff

he’s, annoying, like point blank he has a witty sense of humor that makes no sense and it’s literally only there to mask whatever shit he won’t deal with. he hates being a witch, he hates having powers to begin with and low key on the low no one knows he’s been reading up on books on how to get rid of it at blackwater but to no avail, 

sometimes whenhe’s bored he’ll amuse himself with the pettiest spells against people, yeah does he get in trouble? sure, but in the end it gives him a good laugh and that’s enough for him anything to fill tht void in his chest

as a kid he used to be rly outgoing like from the times he snuck out, he was a charming little kid enough to make friends with the whole block back in spain but since his parents, discovering he’s got powers, he’s nothing, you can only get emotions out of this kid if you punch him

honestly, you could punch him and he’d be like we’ve all been through some shit u gotta try harder dude but ok , ow?

petty, really petty, he’s a sag for a reason, dude has an ego bigger than the sun, loves being right in his own sense like yeah he’ll see your point and then go mm wrong, i’m right. 

flirts for fun and then when it gets serious like, to the point where hes like omg we’re about to FUCK no thanks, i’m still a virgin

ya he is, he rly is. vulnerability is not his strong suit he’s 24 and hates getting close to people (i mean this is malleable like the ppl he will find himself close w will also understand that he’s still distant)  like being NAKED? letting u see my dick?! what NEXTS? sharing my traumas?! ok that would be great for maybe a one time plot where he got close to sex and then goes mm yeah .. gtg bye :)))))))))))

oh, as for visuals !! think of baekhyun from his blooming days mv that’s him, the blonde and all. i love blonde baek, and as for hair length, pretty long not rly well together, he dresses like he hasn’t grown out of his teen phase, w the vans and the ripped jeans and sweatshirts , i have a pinterest board for this but its like 4 pins.. JFKMDGG ok i think thats it

oh wait his familiar, it’s a python ! so once entering the academy he was introduced to this dragon, at first he was afraid but then he sort of understood that somehow there was symbolism bc thats another thing, he thinks theres symbolism in anything like a spoon falling? that must hold SOME symbol hes just fucking annoying anyways, he fell in love w the dragon who takes form of a python who now loves to hug him like hes being choked <3 thats how he knows his familiar rly loves him or maybe it wants to kill him he can never tell

OH I FORGOT TO ADD SOMETHING HE HAS SUCH AN INNOCENT FACE BUT HE’S NOT HE’S A BITCH

[sei-bon]

@rosesinhiseyes do you want to know why i keep tagging you, why i keep sending messages to a fucking wall?

because you refuse to leave my life. I told you i wanted you gone, i told you i wanted to forget all about you. i don’t want to be your friend. who you’ve become is a person i would never befriend.

I want you gone

stop leaving the door open

stop counting on me to reach out again in a moment of weakness.

do you know what that’s doing to me right now? of course i’m still nostalgic and i miss who you used to be. it’s an absolute mindfuck to see two completely opposite people in the same person, to be hurt and abused by someone i loved so much and used to love me in return. I hate thinking about it

i loved you. i do not love you now. i hate you. you ruined my life, you hurt not just me. you hurt my friends, you hurt my son.

you took his mother from him. i will never be able to give him the kind of guidance he needs, the affection he needs .i can’t bear to be hugged by my own child because of what you put me through. i wake him with my crying and screaming in my sleep, and in turn he has a hard time in school, he’s tired and moody. he’s nine years old and he says he wants to die. he picked that up from me and i want to die because of you

first you called me your soulmate

then you said even if we weren’t together life just didn’t feel right without me

when we stopped talking you said you thought about me, you missed me, so on and so forth. you reached out to me when i had already started trying to move on with new friends

you gave me a taste of what things used to be like and of course i was happy that things seemed to be the way they used to be, and we could be friends again

you crossed the line again and  said you wanted to try dating again. i turned you down. i didn’t clearly say why at the time, just that i couldn’t.i wasn’t ready for anything like that, i didn’t have the emotional stability for a relationship, i wanted to be a stronger person before taking on something like that

you started becoming distant, we started fighting again, you started favoring precious @fishtailsushi, whether becuase you knew it hit a nerve with me or because you were actually trying to put her in my place as your best friend because you couldn’t have me. i don’t know why you did it

and i hated her for that. still do. always will. she may not be the catalyst for who you’ve become but she and her company sure did encourage it

anyway, you started acting distant towards me, you were harder on me than your other friends and doing all these little things that i told you were upsetting for me before. I’m sure you conveniently forgot i ever sad a thing. you forget everything so easily... except for your idea of me for some reason. You treated me like shit, you didn’t stand up for me when she’d talk shit but becuase i told her to go for a drive when she was blind drunk... well that just gave you the go-ahead to go harder on your mistreatment.

you didn’t even kick me out immediately. we had an argument that night then didn’t talk for a few days. they you just decided nah don’t want me there. EVEN THOUGH i was close with people in the group becuase you and that precious bitch had a grudge I couldn’t be allowed near anything you cast your light upon

even then, you couldn’t let go of me

i tried to strengthen the bonds with my new friends, talk to them and find my own way

but i guess you missed me because you opened the door again and after having a bad nightmare i reached out to you again and we tried to make a friendship work again

and you said you loved me

a week later you said you felt nothing for me. i was nothing special. i was a casual relationship for you.

and here’s where one of those “little” upsetting things come into play. back when you bragged in call to @justcrossedoverthings about having slept with a lot of people and not needing to be in love with them to do so... well, a bunch of pieces fell into place the wall i’d put up to forget about what happened between us

the more you mistreated me, the bigger the cracks grew, but it was still contained. I kept telling myself you loved me, you wouldn’t hurt me (even though at that point in time you already caused an immeasurable amount of pain)

but in the end, you said you didn’t love me and i was just a misguided fling, and i should have known that

funny though, i didn’t think the word soulmate and fling were interchangeable

but yeah... you didn’t need love to fuck someone.

you didn’t need their consent either

I tried so hard to paint my rape into some grand gesture of affection. surely jeremi must love me if he’s doing this. i wouldn’t want to break his heart. i don’t want this, but i do want his love. i don’t want to lose jeremi. this is something i would have had to do sooner or later. i should be grateful. jeremi loves me.

“jeremi loves me” that’s the mantra that kept me going

when i did what pleased you i heard it a lot, that you loved me.

but when i needed you to tell me how much you loved me, you wouldn’t, you’d push me away. i felt so alone and the one person i loved most couldn’t even tell me “val, i love you. don’t worry, you can get through this. *we* can get through this.” no, you left me to die.

you threw me away and tried to fill the void with new people

i still told myself that you loved me... but i started to think that maybe you didn’t, maybe you never did, maybe i was just a fling. i tried to ignore the latter. even when we weren’t talking. jeremi loves me. we are no longer friends but jeremi still loves me

but we did become friends again. jeremi loved me. jeremi loved me a lot

i think you were just craving affection and knew you could get it out of me, but the feelign wasn’t mutual.

but yeah, when you said you didn’t love me, i had to  face what had happened. I was just part of your tally, you weren’t in love with me, but i was real easy to  trick, you’d already planted the seeds to get me eating out of your hand. i trusted you, even though you already crossed the lines i drew

you crossed more and more. and when we fought about those lines you made me feel liek absolute shit for having them drawn in the first place. because if we’re so close i shouldn’t need to have any boundaries. that’s what you tried to make me believe. and it felt wrong

i told you i didn’t have an interest in sex. I told you that quite a few times before your visit. i cried over the phone becuase i was afraid you wouldn’t want to be with me becuase i couldn’t have sex. but none of that ended up mattering, something so important to me was of no concern to you. what you want, you get and nothing i could say or do was going to stop you. it didn’t in teh past and it wasn’t going to in that moment. it was do things your way or lose you.

i didn’t want to have sex, jeremi. I didn’t want you to touch me that way. I didn’t want to shower with you. i didn’t want to send you nudes, i didn’t want to sext you

but i did want to make you happy, so you would still love me and already i learned that it made no difference if i said no

but you said you loved me, so i did my best to excuse it and be a good girlfriend

i’ve had nightmares about your visit for a long time. whenever i told you i had a dream about you, it was a nightmare i was trying to look at in a positive light. you did what you did becuase you loved me so much you couldn’t control yourself, i should be happy

but you said you didn’t love me and the comforting lie i told myself to endure everything ended up being... a lie

i begged you to love me and you just looked down on me. desperation is so unbecoming and repulsive. no one like me is deserving of your attention

so you cast me out again. if it wasn’t for the supposrt of the new friends i made, i would have killed myself after that.

but it was hard to come to terms with everything that i’d kept repressed. i couldn’t stop thinking about what you did to me, what other’s have done to me throughout my life. I had everything tucked away and was able to ignore it for a good long time but you, you were the straw that broke the camel’s back

i have to confront a lifetime of sexual abuse because of you.

i have to somehow accept that i can never do anything about the abusers in my past

i have to somehow accept that they are still out and about, probably hurting more people and there’s nothign i can do about it

i have to accept that in the grand scheme of things they probably don’t feel a lick of remorse for the pain they inflicted on me. they probably don’t remember me at all

but i can never forget them, i wish i could. i wish i could forget you

you’ve always left communication open hoping i’d see things your way and come back. not because you really want me but because you can’t stand someone walking away, and it makes you look like the good guy to leave the door open, or maybe you knew my lingering feelings would break my resolve to go on without you and i’d come running back begging for another chance

I sure did make a fool of myself doing that so often and i know i’m a creature of habit so i may very well do it again

i’m afraid of that breakdown, another fight, wounds being salted.

i wanted this to be the very end, no more contact between us, i wanted the door to stay closed. you can’t be trusted.

yeah, i asked you to put me on your static and back in the discord, to be a part of your group, to never be alone with you because that’s when things get bad. that’s what i wanted from you.

but you wanted to keep me a secret

yet you wanted to be a part of a group that told you to your face that they hated you. you wanted me to let you in anyway and i almost agreed to it. but i wanted the same from you, to be a part of what i used to belong to and you wouldn’t, you insisted that i couldn’t be involved with anybody you knew, and they couldn’t know that you were even speaking to me

i had to be a secret

i’m not keeping any more secrets

I’m not hiding anything, certainly not for your sake

I’d thought to, for a time. i thought about how taking legal action would affect you, your family, your our friends. could i really go through with this? maybe there’s still a chance to mend things, maybe he didn’t mean what he said, maybe he still loved me

and i reached out to you again, i told you what i was planning to do

i told you how much i was hurting, how i dreaded going forward with my case. i wanted my best friend back, but i couldn’t just accept the pain you caused while you offer to treat me as a second class acquaintance at best. I didn’t want to stick around just becuase you don’t liek to lose.

i’ve already lost so much becuase of you and you wanted me to just lie down and accept that you raped me and there was nothing i could do about it, shit happens and you can’t help it because that behavior was “normalized” for you. i at least wanted you to grant me something so i didn’t feel so cheap

to let me back into the discord and onto your static. a pittance.

but you can’t give me that. nothing i ask for

i asked you to help me pay for my medication and counseling to treat the wounds you gave me as an alternative

but according to you that was extortion

your hands were tied

you offered me... what was it? you offered to buy me monster hunter world?

you offered to buy me a game. a game was supposed to make up for all this grief you’ve caused. a game was supposed to be enough to make everything better. you absolutely obliterated my dignity and a game i didn’t even want was a fair trade in your book.

thank you, jeremi. i didn’t think i could feel any cheaper but god you just know all the right ways to fuck me up don’t you?

you did this to me before too, one of our earlier breakups you said you went ahead and bought me stormblood and sent me the code. i think i told you to leave me alone for a while so i could work through my feelings a few days prior to that. i was reluctant to accept it but i thought it couldn’t hurt, maybe i can work through this and keep a good friendship with you

nope.

you fucking pulled at my heartstrings and i got back with you again

the same thing happened when we started playing black desert together after yet another split

it happened again after i got into mabinogi with you, but that time i had the audacity to turn you down

but given this pattern why the fuck would i accept another game from you just to be hurt again when i’m even more vulnerable and far more unstable than i was when i first turned you down.

i can’t trust you

even during our conversation last week. i started off with “why haven’t you blocked me,” “ i hate you” and such. i hurled every insult i could at you and i meant it. but you almost had me, you still managed to melt my heart and almost win me over but i started asking questions because this was too good to be true, and it was.

you worded things in a way that almost made me believe you were giving me what i wanted. but no, it was giving you what you wanted and i was going to end up hurt

you’re so manipulative. for better or worse, i’ve gotten burned enough times that i started questioning the “peace offer” instead of blindly accepting it.

that’s about when you started losing it and striking back at me because oh poor baby isn’t getting his way and the mask is starting to slip.

so now you’‘re doing this whole grand fuck you gesture of not talkign to me but refusing to block me

and keeping logs of the whole thing

well, good for you jeremi. have fun with it. like i said , i have nothing to hide. I’m going to fight back and there’s nothing you can do about it. you can’t silence me, you can’t cover up what’s happened

it doesn’t feel good to be powerless, does it?

it feels really really shitty huh?

I’d ask you to think about how I felt but it’s beyond your capability to think of anyone but yourself but rest assured that what you’re feeling doesn’t even come close to what I have barely lived through

if you could have gotten over yourself and at least indulged my final request to block me on all fronts, so i could actually move on I would have continued my fight quietly at least.

but you never actually gave a fuck whether i moved on or not, you just need to have your way. which for some fucked up reason includes having me in your life. And I’m not allowed to die becuase it’s not what you want.

like

listen, my dude. the bullshit you’re pulling right now makes me want to kill myself even more

i wish you would just fucking block me so i will never be tempted to look back

i don’t want to live knowing you’re still trying to hang on in some fucked up way, it fucks with me, i can’t even live for myself because you’re the one tellign me to live. why the fuck should i be here to please you while you hurt me?

you’re goign to spite me to the very end so i may as well do the same

fuck you jeremi, my blood is on your hands and i’m going to make sure everyone knows what you’ve done

to my friends, I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I didn’t mean to waste your time and love. I appreciate the kindness you’ve all shown me. I tried my best to make it through this. i’m sorry. I love you guys, and I hope life is kind to you, you deserve the best.

to my friends that still associate with jeremi. you deserve so much better. don’t let him drag you down like he did to me. Don’t let him put someone else through this

-Sei/Seiko/Valerie