#anyway back to images worthy of attention just have to express some of the nightmare now and then

[dyingfad]

for some reason my dreams the past few days have without fail focused solely on unpleasant memories

[animeyanderelover]

Can you write number 46 to Snake?

Snake is such a sweetheart❤️.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, obsessiveness, delusions, mentions of kidnapping, sabotage

Prompt 46: “Can I...can I kiss you?”

“Hiss!” You flinched when yet another from his snakes hissed loudly, tensing up visibly when you felt their dry and warm scales touching your skin lightly in an attempt to get you used to them. You had never thought of you as someone who was scared of these animals, but being surrounded by snakes 24 hours a day had changed your mind, especially after they had dragged you right to their master, wanting to make him happy by bringing his small obsession to him. At first Snake hadn’t been okay with this, seeing how incredibly uncomfortable you were with this whole situation and had told his snakes to let you free again. But it seemed like the rumors about snakes were true. In stories they were often portrayed as insidious and insidious they were indeed. It hadn’t taken them a long time until they had convinced him to let them keep you for him. Since then you had been made an unofficial member from the Noah’s Ark circus. Unofficial because only the first-string members knew about you and no one else. And they had promised Snake to never tell anyone about you, but you guessed anyone would have said it in this situation when a poisonous snake would be staring at them with warning eyes.

Talking about Snake, he was sitting on the end of the bed, not wanting to panick you through sitting too close to you. He did what he did most of the time. Just watching you, but every time his gaze met yours he quickly looked away with a small blush on his face. It was more than just unbelievable that this guy here was the one who ruled over these devilish reptiles. He was way too shy and innocent in your opinion, but then again that made him very influenceable. It was really funny that his snakes were willing to go so far as manipulating him into thinking that you were the safest with him. How long had it been since you had last seen your family. Three to four weeks? Probably. You had of course tried to escape, but good luck with trying to escape out of a tent which is filled with snakes. They were laying at night always on the ground to make sure that you wouldn’t escape him. When you had first tried to run away you had accidentally stepped on one of them and that had meant checkmate for you because only a few seconds after you had woken up every living thing in the tent, including Snake himself. The man had blamed himself for not treating you good enough after this, making you feel to your huge surprise guilty. Snake probably didn’t even realize how bad you sometimes felt for him. He looked often almost desperate for your affection, but was too shy to ask you about it. He never forced you and you were thankful to him for this. He was surprisingly understanding with you.

But this was a whole different story with his snakes because they were a bit more forceful and would often push you to giving him some sort of affection. Anything was fine as long as their master was happy with it. But today it seemed like you had one of these days where everything was against you. You had already not slept well the previous night due to all the hissing in the tent and a nasty nightmare and had earned a headache because of this. Snake had of course tried to give you some medicine, but as soon as he had stepped closer to you you had immediately jumped away, images of your nightmare flashing right in front of your eyes and had yelled at him to stay away. The shocked and hurt look on his face had made you a bit guilty, but not enough. So you were just sitting at the head of the bed, curled up in a small ball whilst Snake was sitting at the end of the bed, one of his snakes hanging around his neck. Which one was it? Emily? Suddenly the snake hissed something in his ear. “Dear, you haven’t eaten or drank anything since you’ve woken up. That would probably help your headache, says Emily.” It was kind of interesting how he could change his voice like this. But you never heard him talk much anyways. Most of the time he was just a translator for his snakes. “Not hungry or thirsty.”, you replied quietly.

“You need to eat and drink something or else you might endanger your health and we don’t want that to happen. I agree Oscar.” You sighed quietly. Why had you even told them that? You might as well could have just kept quiet. “We’ll get you something to eat darling. Wait in here, says Emily.” With these words Snake left the tent to get you something. But you hadn’t any time to relax because suddenly one of the snakes wriggled it’s way upon your lap and straightened up to look you directly in your eyes. For a while you just blinked, not daring to touch it and throw it away. What was the name of this one again? Webster? “What are you looking at?”, you asked him tiredly. He hissed something you couldn’t understand, but you assumed that it was about the way you had acted to Snake the whole day. “Are you angry because I acted so mean towards Snake the whole day? I do realize that he can’t do anything for being manipulated by you all, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s still my captor. I...I’m just a bit tired because of the nightmare I had tonight about Snake and you all.”

“You...had a nightmare about me?” You turned startled around. Snake was standing in the entrance of the tent, a plate of food in his hand. He had a guilty expression on his face. He sank his head and walked inside the tent, placing the plate of food on the nightstand before sitting down again on the end of the bed, still letting his head hang low. Oh no. You knew what this meant. He always did this when he had the feeling that he did something wrong to you and you knew that Snake didn’t think very highly of himself so most likely he was telling himself again that he was truly a monster and not worthy of you. Your suspicion was confirmed when he mumbled some words out. “I’m sorry...for being...such a monster.” You bit your bottom lip, feeling incredibly guilty. You knew you shouldn’t feel guilty for him, but looking at him like this made you realize once more that he was in reality just someone who craved love. Your love to be specific. Webster, who was still on your lap, looked at you with a demanding look and hissed something. “Webster. Let her be.”, Snake told him sadly. Dear goddess. Why had he always make you feel guilty?! It wasn’t his intention, but you couldn’t help, but feel bad for him.

Silence fell over you and even the snakes stopped hissing and instead turned their heads back and forth between the two of you. The more you looked at Snake, the more the guilt nearly consumed you until you nearly exploded with guilt. You know what? Screw it! You let a sigh out before speaking up:”You wanted to give me earlier today medicine against my headache, didn’t you? Still willing to give it to me?” Snake looked surprised up. “Well?”, you asked and raised an eyebrow. “Wait a second. We’ll give it to you instantly, says Emily.” His voice sounded the slightest bit excited when he stood up and hurried to get the medicine. When you glanced at Webster who was still laying on your lap you noticed that he was having a satisfied look in his eyes. Your attention turned back to Snake who was holding the spoon filled with medicine in front of you. You quickly swallowed the liquid, letting the bitter taste hit your tongue. “Dear, you should probably also eat something now, says Emily.” You looked at the tablet filled with food at the nightstand. “I’m not really hungry, but since you’ve brought it.” You took the fork and started to pick some food up with it. Whilst you were chewing Snake slowly stood up and moved away from you. “You know that you can sit next to me right?” Again his eyes widened surprised and for a short moment he looked hesitant before literally all snakes in the tent hissed at him and even though you weren’t able to understand what they were saying you somehow knew that they told him to sit next to you whilst you were in such a willing mood. So he sat down next to you once again and watched you silently eat.

“Snake?” He looked at you, signaling you that he was listening. You didn’t know why, but you had the feeling that you should tell him this. “You know that I, despite the fact that you kidnapped me, don’t hate you, right?” His eyes almost started to sparkle when you told him this and he quickly looked away, trying to hide his burning face. It was actually pretty cute to see. You chuckled a bit and put the tablet back on your nightstand, feeling indeed better after taking some medicine and eating and drinking something, putting you in a good mood. You noticed that Emily was busily hissing at Snake, very soon joined by all the other snakes. You tilted your head confused. What were they telling him? You didn’t know, but you noticed that Snake’s face was heating up even more. “May I ask what’s going on?”, you asked him curiously. He turned around to you and gulped, looking very nervous. Before asking you something.

“Can I...can I kiss you?” Your jaw nearly dropped. This must have been the boldest he had ever gotten with you. Well, what now? You were in a good mood, but still, kissing was a bit much given the fact that you didn’t like him that way. But when you suddenly noticed the intense staring from all the snakes you knew that it would be better to agree. This would probably give you some bonus points with them. If you would reject Snake now and would sadden him once again the snakes would most likely punish you in some way. “Yes?”, you answered unsure. Once again a blush made it’s way on Snake’s face and you kind of knew that this was most likely his first kiss. He slowly leaned closer to your face before locking his lips with yours. It was a kiss in which you could almost melt since he was so careful as if he feared if he would kiss you to hard you would break. You were able to hear satisfied hisses from anywhere, telling you that all his snakes were happy with what they were seeing.

[candytuftgirl]

Somnia

A Secret Santa fic for Amylion! (My dumbass couldnt find your tumblr ashfg).

I hereby present this... mess. Probably not what you were asking for (definitely not; Im so sorry I just realized I didnt use the prompts they were going to come up later on RIP) and maybe a tinsy bit cringe-worthy.  There was supposed to be more, but yeah; here’s some good-natured kid Leia and Dad Vader, with a pinch of prophetic dreams for zest.

Well, I tried. 

(Also, this one shot was not beta’ed, I die like the horrible mess of a writer I am)

The hallways are dark.

The shadows that surround a few illuminated viewports create frightening monsters, if one had the right imagination for it. What was worse was that she was alone. There were no droids, white masks or suit-people in sight.

If she were younger, maybe she’d ask a droid to accompany her on this late night journey. But no; she was a big girl now (Seven! That was two fingers more than a whole hand) and besides, her daddy didn’t really like them much.

He didn’t like a lot of things, but there were some he disliked more than others. And she noticed, which was why she was walking alone, in the dark, the metal caging her in from the side. And she’s not scared. Not at all.

Still, if she squeezes Mr. Catty just a bit too tight that was just because he was shivering so much.

The big silver doors are in view soon enough, and she shuffles a bit faster when she notices them. It doesn’t even take a moment before they silently open. She walks in, the doors close and the familiar whirring noise echoes all around her.

“Leia.” Her daddy steps out of the dark, his breathing machine the only constant source of sound in the room. He’s tall, dark and shiny- just like he was when he put her to bed. It calms her; and Mr. Catty.

He absently waves a finger, turning the lights on as he steps closer to her small form. “Angel, what’s wrong?”

She doesn’t answer. Instead she walks over with her bare feet (she was going to get a scolding for that for sure), Mr. Catty firmly in hand and looks up at her father’s dark mask. The staring only lasts a moment.

There’s a small hitch in the constant whirring noise, like an exhausted little sound, and her father firmly picks her up and sits himself down on a nearby chair. She’s on his knee, one black gloved arm still around her while she makes herself comfortable, and now it’s just her father’s strange mask that stares down at her.

Leia doesn’t hesitate. “I had a strange dream daddy.”

She didn’t dream often, but when she did, she always dreamed of strange things. A cave filled with crystals, shining so brightly she swore she heard them sing. An underwater city, beautiful; but there were fish people standing on top of buildings, crying, screaming: “Traitor, traitor!”.

A moon made out of metal, with a heart that screeched in pain.

Everyone always said her dreams were silly, and she was making too much of a fuss about them. Overactive imagination, her retelling a version of a story she read somewhere; one suit-man even accused her of lying once! The more she talked about them, the less everyone who heard them believed her.

Sometimes, Leia thought that if it weren’t for her daddy, their gentle reprimands would turn scathing.  

She knew she shouldn’t have shared her dreams, knew most never believed her, but she couldn’t help herself; they all felt so real to her in a way. Why couldn’t other people understand that?

She knew better now. All the droids and suit-people dismissed her worries so she dismissed them as well; except for her daddy.

He never said she was making things up, and he always listened.

“It was a dry place.” Leia began, fumbling with Mr.Catty’s stuffed legs. She tried to remember. “Like, really dry. Everything was orange and the ground was bright and smooth; with all these little pebbles on them.” She shook her head lightly. “Oh no, they were even smaller than that: tiny, little pebbles. And there were no trees, or rivers, or-“

“A desert.” Her father stated, quickly cutting off her rambling. “You were dreaming of a desert.”

She scrunched her little button nose up at him. “A desert? Like, dessert?”

“No. A desert is a barren wasteland, largely inhospitable, dry and covered in sand; the tiny pebbles.” He explained, and she files away this new revelation in her mind. “I believe the chocolate waffles you had for breakfast this morning don’t fit the same description.”

Uh-oh. She cringed, fumbling her fingers around her stuffed toy. “Oh- you know about that?”

So she might have eaten sweets for breakfast this morning. Really, though, it hadn’t been her fault! She was alone with the droid in the kitchen, and it did ask her what she wanted for breakfast. And she really didn’t want to eat porridge filled with fruits, vitamins and all the “healthy necessities her body required to grow”. Besides, she was sure chocolate waffles made her grow more than that mush anyway.

“We will discuss your punishment tomorrow.” Leia made a face at that; she really didn’t want to scrub her room clean. Again. Her father’s mask turned towards her wriggling feet. “Where are your socks?”

“-So anyway.” She continued undeterred. “I was in a desert. But I wasn’t alone. There was a boy there too.”

Her father straightened a bit more at that. He always did, whenever she dreamed of someone. “What kind of boy?”

She shrugged. “A boy. I guess he was like me- except, well, he’s a boy.” Leia thought about him for a bit; the boy that inexplicably drew her attention more than any scary dream ever had. “He was blonde, with blue eyes- and his clothes were too big.”

She furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, trying to recall the image of a boy in large white sleeves chasing furry creatures across the ground. “He was kinda scruffy looking.”

“Language.” Her father quietly added, though it was more of an automatic response than anything. “Is that all?”

“Umm, he was chasing some weird rat; I guess he was playing a game and-“

“I mean, was there anyone else in the dream?”

Leia shook her head, expression serious as she looked up at her daddy. With her chubby cheeks and button nose, she looked far too adorable to emulate any kind of sobering face but that hardly stopped her from trying. Like a little queen waiting for her adviser’s opinion, she stared at her father while he thought about her dream.

Her father’s mask stared off in a vague direction, head tilted as he considered what she said. The longer he remained in that position, the more Leia’s heartbeat echoed in her head. This is important then. Daddy must think so too.

It didn’t scare her; it made her strangely giddy. Like that boy was a puzzle piece, something she unknowingly needed to complete the distorted picture in her life.

“It’s nothing like your… usual visions.” His rough voice brought her back from her daydreams. Black mask meeting her large chocolate eyes, her father stated his final judgment. “No. I do not believe it really means anything, angel. Maybe it really was just a dream.”

Mr.Catty made a straining nose from the pressure of her tiny fingers.

In hindsight, this information was wonderful. She often came to her father, crying her eyes out because she hated all the scary dreams she was having, and she didn’t want them anymore. The fact that this dream might have been just that; a dream, not a nightmare, not reality…

Leia hated it.

“No daddy!” She yelled suddenly, wiggling free and sliding down to the floor. It caught her father off guard, too surprised to stop her.

With red cheeks she stared up at him, and all his black glory. “He was real. I know he was.”

“Leia…”

“No!” She threw Mr. Catty to the floor, angry tears appearing in her narrowed eyes. “You think I’m making things up! Like everyone else!”

“Leia.”

Her father got up, voice cold as the atmosphere in the room shifted. No longer approachable, but massive; He stared down at her in the oppressive silence, hands on his hips, looking like a mountain that would break the earth before it would bend.

A scary sight, one that many feared. Leia was no match for that; small, with her chin trembling, and wet, sloppy tears already rolling down her cheeks. She couldn’t even compare.

Still, she refused to back down.

She knew her daddy was angry, and he was probably going to be even angrier the more she continued this staring contest; but- I’m angry too!

After all, out of all the people in her life, it was her father who was supposed to believe her no matter what. The fact that he didn’t, that he thought it was all a dream…

That hurt her.

The staring continued. The tension rose. Before she knew it, the temperature in the room dropped some more. She vaguely wondered if she was going to freeze up. Like those poor people in the vacuum of space, ones that fell under fire and drifted out of reach into an asteroid field. No one went back for them. Nobody even tried.

Would her father leave her like that, all alone? Here in this room, like a sculpture? Would she be able to see? Move? Become a statue for eternity?

It was a daunting thought, the coldness seeping through her jammies and into her skin now. She couldn’t stop shaking; the fear was swallowing her, but she wouldn’t-

It wasn’t until she glanced at Mr. Catty laying on the floor that realization set it and the fear stilled. Eyes straying away from the black void of her father, she took a few steps to her fallen toy, the coldness subsiding as well.

Gingerly picking him up, she muttered a quick apology to her favorite friend, facing her father as the tears roamed unchecked now.

“I-I’m sorry Daddy…” The hiccuping made it harder to speak. “But, but-“

She was full on sobbing now, and just like that, the atmosphere in the room shifted back to normal. The coldness subsided, the warmth came back and she couldn’t stop crying.

Her father made that whirring exhausted little noise, before slowly bending his knees in a crouch so they were more at eye level (Leia didn’t like how he towered over her so much, so piggybacks were still an often occasion).

It was a bit comical to see her tall and menacing father lost as to what to do, his tiny daughter shaking and desperately trying to rub away all the evidence of her uncontrollable tears.

“Oh no, angel not your-“ The warning was too late, as she blew her nose into her sleeves. They were icky already, but she kept smearing her tears in them. Her father quickly battered her attempts away. He looked around, his shoulders slumping some more. 

Soon enough, she was blowing into a soft and leathery like material; her father sacrificing his shiny black gloves, gently wiping away the grime and the snot from her small face.

He was probably going to make that sad little whirring noise about that later, but for now, he remained composed.

“Calm down, angel.” He spoke as gently as he could with his distorted voice, his own version of Sssh, sssh- don’t cry now. 

“I’m sorry, daddy.” Leia stared at his black, droid like mask with her puffy eyes. She made a few more hiccuping noises, before croaking out the truth she knew in her heart. “But… but he’s important.”

“The boy from your dream?” She nodded. “How so?”

“Be-because!” She wiped the remains of her tears away, frantically trying to explain to her father the underlining importance of it all. It was so clear to her, didn’t he understand? “I saw him, daddy. I saw him jump around rocks, kick rats; fix- or maybe he was breaking- droids-!“

Another memory appeared in her head, one that makes her smile. “And he stares at the sunset daddy! Like you stare out the viewport. He must be real.”

This knowledge didn’t seem to appease her father; if anything, it seemed to do the opposite. The coldness in the room came back with alarming ferocity, before it changed into something incredibly hot, like a blazing sun- and then she could breathe again.

Her father’s shoulders slumped lightly, before he started to reach out his hand to her. He stopped, probably remembering the sobbing incident, and pried his gloves off, gently laying his hands down on her small shoulders. Leia tried her best to not shiver from the cold metal prosthetics. They glinted in the light, fake fingers squeezing her softly.

(Once, a long time ago, when she was still curious about her father’s strange suit, she had asked him if he was a droid. She couldn’t see it, but she just knew her daddy became very sad, and she instantly felt bad about it.

“No, not completely” he said.

She never asked again.)

“Leia.” He had her complete undivided attention. “The dream you had was real. But it was only a vision of the past.”

“The past?” She repeated, blinking as her father retracted his hands from her. But that would mean… “Really?”

“Really.”

The boy she dreamed about was real, as real as her heart in her chest. But it was a boy from before, not now. A boy from the past.

She felt an uncomfortable weight settle inside her.

“How do you know?” It couldn’t be true- the boy she saw was here, now, like she was- and he was important. She just knew it. “Did you… know him?”

“Once.” Her father looked away, like when he looked through viewports at the stars; like the boy. “I knew him, once.”

Her father was many things, but he wasn’t a liar.

She sagged with that newfound knowledge, tired and sad all at once, Mr.Catty limp in her hold. A boy from the past- it hurt her in a way she couldn’t explain, like a goal she could see as plain as day evaporated just beyond her reach. He had seemed so real (was he still real?), and now…

Just a boy from before. It felt like the truth.

And yet, there was still a part of her that believed differently.

There was shuffling in the background, her father’s loud stomps echoing in the room. Looking up, she saw him searching for something in his sleek metal closet. He only had one in his room.

Or was it an office- that term would perhaps better serve to describe his room (he didn’t even have a bed; sometimes Leia thought the plush chairs and sofa were there only for her benefit).

Most would have called it an office- if it wasn’t for the large bacta tank standing at the other end.

She opened her mouth when he walked back to her, but he stopped her new bouts of questions by deftly picking her up- new and shiny, clean black gloves in place.

“Enough. It’s late.” That was his order-voice now. The one that didn’t allow protests. She slumped a little in his hold.

The walk back through the shadowed corridors wasn’t as scary as before, and Leia rested her cheek on her father’s broad shoulder as he swallowed the distance between their rooms in short time.

He put her back to bed, exchanging her star shirt for a clean one with lothcats, and tucked her in. Opening her closet, he made sure to look inside before closing it again. A nightly ritual for checking monsters. No matter how many times he assured her that there was nothing scarier than him around, Leia insisted. That late-night holo she saw still made her shiver.

Besides, her daddy wasn’t that scary.

Smoothing down the hair on her head, Mr.Catty snuggled up beside her, he straightened and pointed a finger at her in warning (like he did at the suit-people, though his voice wasn’t so cold): “Now, sleep.”

He left. She shifted to find a more comfortable position, obeying the silent order and closing her eyes. Before drifting off, she repeated the words she knew rang true in her head; her heart.

The boy is real. Like me. I know it.

[sambethe]

Ash & Tilly FF: Drinking Games

Summary: They meant to play cards, but then the drinks appeared. With the drinks came the goading, and somehow this has left Tilly on the receiving end of Ash's questionable matchmaking skills.

Words: 1900 | Rated: T | ao3

A/N: Apologies? Not really. Pretty much outright fluff friendship nonsense. I assume this is set somewhere between Lethe and Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad, but don’t ask for more precision than that.

+++

“What about her?”

Tilly took a sip of her drink and turned her head in the direction Ash had nodded his chin. Screw subtly. The two of them had left subtlety behind after their first finished drink. At this point they, and their growing collection of empty glasses, were sprawled across a corner of the floor in the forward lounge, heads leant back against the wall and legs stretched out.  

All they had planned for was a few rounds of cards, a chance for Tilly to practice her terrible, terrible bluff. Within the first couple of hands, though, the room had changed around them. Music had been added and someone had long ago dimmed the lights, adding in a soft accent of blues and purples to the mix. And then the drinks started appearing.

Tilly was hard-pressed to complain. The distraction from everything felt good. She felt good. The buzz in her head felt good. She just needed one more thing to feel really, really good.

Though that also might be her third drink talking.

She had no idea what she had even been drinking. That maybe should have been a question she asked when the first one was handed to her, but it was pretty. Most of what was in the glass was pale yellow, but at the center was a burst of bright orange that was slowly bleeding through the rest of the drink. It tasted sweet and made her smile. Plus it had one of those cute little paper umbrellas and a straw, so it couldn’t be that bad.

That was definitely some A+ sound logic, if she did say so herself.

With the lounge dark and bathed in an ethereal blue glow, when she squinted she could almost pretend she was somewhere besides Discovery. Shore leave -- somewhere exotic and beachy, somewhere she might be brave enough to talk someone into her bed.

Her eyes landed on Darcy Philips. Blond, long legs. She had a killer smile that Tilly adored. She was also, sadly, dating Seema Khan.

“The blonde?”

Ash shook his head. “No, the brunette. Black pants. Cream shirt. Nice rack.”

Tilly snorted. “Looks more off-white to me.”

He nudged the toe of her boot with his own. “Not even close to the point. Tell me what you think about her.”

She stuck her tongue at him and took another sip of her drink, chewing on her straw as she watched the woman talking to Darcy. She was short and her legs were slim. She had nice hips and an ass that was certainly worth writing home about.

If she wanted to give her mother a heart attack.

Come to think of it, she kind of, sort of wished she had the balls. The image of her face when she listened to the message would be worthy of a greeting card.

But just then the woman tilted her head to whisper something to Darcy and Tilly caught sight of her sharp jawline and aquiline nose from behind her hair. That was a profile she’d know anywhere.

“Cat Jordan. Totally pretty. And her hair is great. I wish my hair would do that. But she’s competitive and has kind of a mean streak. Sex with her would be like a terrible team sport -- too much scorekeeping and full of one-upmanship. It’d give me performance anxiety.” Tilly flicked the straw out of her way and knocked back the rest of her drink. “I’m looking for an orgasm, not a rundown of my many deficiencies. If I wanted that, I’d call my mother.”

Ash let out a sharp laugh and she elbowed him.

“Don’t laugh. I want to blow off steam, not give myself a complex. She’s the type who would grade you mid-oral and then give you another evaluation at the end that would serve nothing but to tell you about how she would, and did, do it better. Being in classes with her was a nightmare.”

Ash laughed again. It caused his whole face to go soft and the corners of his eyes to crinkle. She liked this version of him. Relaxed. Happy. His smile clearly radiating from his eyes as well as his mouth. It was the same smile that had half of Discovery’s crew tripping over themselves when they saw him.

When he caught his breath his expression turned calculating as he continued to watch Cat.

Tilly frowned and kicked at his ankle. “Don’t tell me that that intrigues you.”

“What?” he asked, blinking his eyes and schooling his face into an expression that tried to read as innocent, boyish charm. Tilly was tempted to kick him again, but that would just egg him on. “Maybe I like them bossy.”

Tilly choked and put her drink down before she spilled it. She wondered what he was like at the Academy. He had to have been a menace. Just that right combination of pretty and smart. Competitive but relaxed, both cool and earnest in equal turns. And so utterly unflappable. Tilly wondered if anything ever phased him.

She narrowed her eyes and shoved at Ash’s arm. “All right, all right. Enough about your predilections, boy wonder. We are supposed to be finding someone for me.” She shifted and leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder as she surveyed the room. This shouldn’t be that hard. She just wanted to get laid for the night, ignore everything else for a little while. Somebody here had to fit the bill.

“What about Rogers?”

Tilly’s eyes landed on where Charles Rogers stood across the room in a small group, swaying slightly to the music as one of his friends waved his arms to make some sort of apparently emphatic point. He had nice hair -- dark, thick. It was cut short in the back, but left a little long in the front. It looked tuggable. Too bad he had all the personality of a wet noodle.

“He pretty, but sooooo dull. He talks endlessly. About nothing. And cannot, for the life of him, read a room. And this is me saying that. Last week I had to make up a spore emergency to get him to stop talking long enough so that I could escape after he sat down to eat lunch with me. I could probably strip down naked and he still wouldn’t pay attention to me long enough to get the point. I don’t want to put that much work into getting laid.”

“Ok, definitely not Rogers then. That leaves my choices at zero for three so far. I might need you to help me out here if you want me to play wingman. What are you looking for?”

“Tonight or in general?” She waved her hand. “No, nevermind. Let’s stick with for tonight. Anything more than that will kill this buzz I’ve got going on and I want to enjoy it.”

“Stop stalling, Cadet.”

“I swear I’m not that picky,” she continued. “I just want someone fun who won’t be too weird about it all later.”

Ash wrapped his arm around her shoulder and planted a kiss on her temple. “Fair enough. So we are looking for someone relaxed and easygoing. Not too weird and not self-involved.”

“Maybe not too relaxed. I’d like to not have to do all the work.”

Ash laughed and shot her a mock frown. “Give me some credit here.”

“Let’s also add in cute. I’d like to like looking at them. Preferably while naked.”

He grinned and tipped his head back, drumming his fingers against his chin. “How about Mendoza then?”

Tilly followed to where Ash’s focus had landed on Jane Mendoza. She’d recently had her dark hair cut into a bob that flattered her neck and that had nearly driven Tilly to distraction with all sorts of thoughts what it’d be like to kiss her.

She hummed and Ash’s smile widened. “We have a winner?”

“Let’s not get too excited. I still have to go over and talk to her, and that would require me getting up off this floor.” She groaned and wiggled her toes. “Which may be a bit of its own challenge. So before I try to do that, what about you?”

“What about me?”

“The whole night can’t just be about getting me laid. What about you?”

Ash raised an eyebrow and Tilly frowned at him.

“Stop that,” she said, flicking at his eyebrow.

He knocked away her hand. “As you said, one of us would need to get off this floor and go talk to someone if there is any hope for either of us. I don’t know that I am inclined to move at the moment.”

Tilly sighed and eyed their empty glasses. She’d kill for someone to bring them another round. “True. But you, you wouldn’t need to do much talking.” She sat up and drew her legs in, then waved her hand vaguely in Ash’s direction. “You just need to smile and say something charming. It wouldn’t take much to convince any one of them to come back to your quarters.”

He raised his eyebrow at her again.

Pursing her lips, Tilly crossed her arms. “Come on. You know I’m right.”

“I think you greatly exaggerate my game.”

“Oh, please! You know I am right. Or are you avoiding this because Michael isn’t here and she’s the one you’d like to be... “ TIlly paused and tried to find the right word. “Talking to?”

“Where is she anyway?”

“Nice try at casual there, friend.”

Ash shrugged and gave her a crooked, half-smile.

“When I left our quarters she was doing some Vulcan meditation thing. She tried to explain it -- been hounding me to try it with her, but don’t ask me for more than that. I lost track.”

“Oh. I don’t see her socialize much.”

Tilly shrugged. “It takes some work -- getting her to be comfortable around you. I’m still working on it, to be honest. But it’s worth it, if you ask me. You are asking me, right?”

Ash turned away and looked out at the room, but he didn’t seem focused on anything or anyone in particular. A small smile played at his mouth and a twinge of jealousy spiked in Tilly’s gut. Not of Michael, or even Ash per say. He was pretty, and funny. And he was good at listening. She just wished someone would get that look when thinking about her.

“I might be asking,” Ash finally answered, still keeping his attention on the small crowd across the room.

“Might be, huh?”

“Might be.” He gave a small shrug. “What’s her story anyway?”

“Not mine to tell.”

He glanced back to her and gave her a nod. “Fair enough. So we agreed on Mendoza for you, right?”

Part of her toyed with the idea of pressing the Michael topic further, but decided to let it go. Three drinks in was probably not the best time for that conversation. “Yes,” she agreed.

“You know you are going to need to stand and walk over there, right?”

“I know.” But she still didn’t move.

“Do you need me to go over there for you?” Ash started to sit up and Tilly reached over and pushed him back down.

“Nope. I can do my own dirty work, thank you.” She stood and straightened out her uniform top. “Don’t think we’re done talking about you and Michael.”

Ash smiled and made a shooing motion in her direction. “Wouldn’t dare. Now go.”

“I mean it.”

“Uh huh. Go.”

“I’m going.”

“I see that.”

Tilly huffed and turned, making her ways towards Mendoza before she lost her nerve and grabbed another drink.

[lucifercaelestis]

how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist

a fic i’ve been meaning to write for months and finally finished. basically shiro’s vlog plus a private message to keith, with a twist. hope you enjoy!!!

summary:

The night before their attack on Zarkon's base, Shiro decides to make some videos.

Months later after Shiro's disappearance, Keith watches them, feeling the weight of Shiro’s loss keenly.

read it on AO3

Shiro was frustrated.

He knew after the first hour of lying down in his bed that he wouldn’t be getting any more sleep that night. His body wouldn’t allow him to, and if for some reason he did manage to sleep, he would probably spend it trapped inside his nightmares.

No. Sleep was not an option.

What he really wanted to do was to go to the training deck where he could finally release the energy that had built up under his skin and distract himself from his worries. But he didn’t fancy the thought of getting caught and being dragged back to his room and ordered to sleep like a recalcitrant child.

So he was forced to make do with running through his workout routine in his room, and when the aimless tension got too much, he’d pace around his room.

It didn’t help that the workout got so repetitive and instinctual that it was all too easy for his mind to slip back and think about the battle coming tomorrow.

He was about to give up on restraint and just head to the training deck to spar with the training bots just so he wouldn’t have to think about all the ways it could go wrong tomorrow when he noticed a strange object Allura had given him a few weeks ago.

She’d called it a memory storage upload oscillator, mentioning that Coran had built it to record things. It had the appearance of old Altean tech, sleek and shiny with a telltale blue glow. To his surprise, it actually reminded him of a futuristic camera with a tablet attached by a cord. According to Allura, she wanted to record all of them officially for documentation purposes, that it would be a record of them for future Paladins.

She’d allowed him the privilege of going first, but he’d never found the time or inclination to do it before.

He smiled wryly. It was a hell of a time to record something like that, but it beat wearing himself out so much that he couldn’t even think anymore.

It was almost comforting in a way to know that some part of him would live on, even if he didn’t.

It was fairly easy to set up, even as he marvelled at the differences between the Altean tech and the few cameras he’d kept back on Earth. Finally, it lit up at his touch, displaying an empty storage space.

He adjusted the position of the device a few times before he finally felt satisfied. He ran his hand through his hair once to check if it was presentable before clearing his throat and preparing to speak.

***

Keith found Allura’s insistence on seeing him immediately somewhat bewildering. She’d asked for him to meet her privately as soon as he’d come within range of the comms devices even though she knew that he had just gotten back to the castle after a long and arduous flight to search for Shiro.

It must have been important but if he had even a little less self-control he would have been dragging his feet as he walked to the bridge from Red’s hangar.

His brow furrowed when Allura didn’t even chastise him for taking so long, instead waiting patiently for him to gather himself. His worries got worse when she still didn’t speak.

He was even more confused when she turned around to face him but she still couldn’t look him in the eye.

He’d missed it over the comms, but now that they were in the same room, there was a certain tension in the air.

“Allura, are you alright?” he asked. He couldn’t think of anything that could have happened while he was gone that would make her react like this. He froze when he realised one possibility.

Had he left them vulnerable to an attack, leaving them down by two lions while he was busy in another galaxy, looking for any traces of Shiro? Was she upset with him for that?

“Was there an attack? Did something happen while I was gone?”

She looked horrified at his assumption. “No, no, nothing of the sort,” she stated, still avoiding his eyes.

“What happened? Why was it so important for me to meet you immediately? ”

“I found something that–Well, please don’t be angry with me, I did not realise–“ she tried to explain, but it only succeeded in making Keith more confused.

"Allura. What happened?" he asked briskly.

Normally, he wouldn't be so short with her, having been relieved by her acceptance of him after her negative reaction to his Galra heritage but he was physically and mentally exhausted after a long and fruitless search and her evasiveness was starting to frustrate him.

She sighed heavily before replying. “There’s something I think you should see."

More than anything, it was her expression that threw him off. It was sad and guilty? He couldn't figure out why she was upset.

“I would advise you to watch it alone," Allura told him, pressing a tablet into his hands. She still looked sad as she walked away, like she didn't want to see how he reacted to it. She paused right before the doors, “I’m sorry, Keith."

After she left, he wasted no time walking back to his room.

Frustrated with her cryptic words, he almost just left the tablet on his table for another day. He was exhausted and his bed was like a siren’s call. Ultimately though, his curiosity won out.

What was it that could make Allura so upset upon seeing it and so important that she would insist on him seeing it immediately too?

His question was answered when he powered up the tablet and the first thing he saw were two thumbnails with Shiro’s face on them.

His hands trembled as he gripped the tablet tighter.

Was he really prepared to see this?

No. No, he wasn’t.

He pressed on the first thumbnail anyway.

The thumbnail enlarged, taking up the entire screen. Keith's eyes traced over Shiro's face hungrily.

“I'm Shiro, Paladin of the Black Lion and leader of Voltron.”

Shiro’s face and voice were just the same as they ever were, and for a second, Keith saw the image from the video in front of him superimposed by the picture of Shiro that had begun circulating after Pilot Error.

That image flickered and he saw Shiro as he was now, white hair and scar included and he forced himself to pay attention. Now wasn't the time to let his emotions get the better of him.

"I used to be a pilot for Galaxy Garrison before we were captured by the Galra and sent to the arena. Somehow, the Garrison never covered what to do when an alien empire kidnaps you on one of your missions. Not very thorough of them, I’d say."

Keith wanted to groan. It was just like Shiro to downplay everything that happened to him like it was just a minor setback in his life and make a joke about it too.

“Thankfully I escaped. I found my team– well, technically, they found me, and somehow we ended up fighting against an empire that stretches across most of the universe in 5 mechanical lions that combine to form a giant robot. Apparently when life gives you lions, you make a giant robot man?"

Keith couldn't help but snort at that. He’d missed Shiro’s brand of humour more than he’d thought; other than the morbid kind that came out when he was dying, he could live without that.

Shiro continued, unknowing of Keith's amusement. "I’m proud of them though. We're a bit of a ragtag group but seeing how much they’ve grown and improved, well, I couldn’t ask for a better team."

Shiro straightened up in his seat, falling into what Keith liked to call leader-mode.

“Being Black’s paladin is a privilege. The bond between a lion and their paladin is all about trust, and I hope can prove myself worthy of it someday."

Seeing how much Shiro clearly loved the Black Lion, how naturally he’d taken to being a leader, it only made it so much clearer what they were missing now.

“We’ve come so far, and tomorrow we’re taking the next step to ending this war once and for all. So even though I’m worried about what might happen tomorrow, I have hope. ”

Shiro had this ability to draw people in, to make them believe in him. He’d seen it back at the Garrison and he saw it later when Shiro acted as the leader of Voltron. Even the Galra couldn’t change that. Something about him just made you believe in something bigger than yourself.

He made you want to be better than you were.

“A wise man once told me, if you get too worried about what could go wrong, you might miss the chance to do something great.”

Shiro smiled, eyes all but gleaming with trust and belief, and Keith wondered how someone like Shiro could possibly exist.

“So go. Be great."

Seeing this video, it just drove in the fact that their team was missing something essential without Shiro.

He rubbed his thumb over his fisted hand and took a shaky breath. There was still one more video to go.

Clicking on the icon, he waited for Shiro to begin speaking.

”Keith." Shiro's voice lowered to that gentle, private tone he always used when talking to Keith. Of all the things about Shiro Keith never thought he’d miss, hearing the way Shiro said his name hadn’t even made it on the list.

That didn’t stop him from wanting to lean into it.

His gaze was fixed on Shiro, but it was always like that wasn’t it? He’d never stood a chance.

“Keith– If you’re listening to this–” Shiro faltered for the first time since the videos began, “–if you’re listening to this, I’m sorry. I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep my promise after all.”

Keith had to choke down a sob. Shiro had promised once that he’d never leave Keith, that he’d always come back. It had been broken once after Kerberos, shattering the life Keith had made for himself, only coming back together when he found Shiro in a Garrison containment unit. And now, again, after Keith thought they were finally safe. That this time, he could protect Shiro.

It seemed like Shiro was destined to break his promise, and Keith was helpless to break the cycle they were trapped in.

Losing each other, finding, and losing again. Rinse and repeat. The universe did love its patterns after all.

“There are so many things that I want. I want to go home with you. I want you all to be safe. I want this all to be over already. But I have a bad feeling about tomorrow, and if there’s any chance I could save you, I’m going to take it. I never wanted to leave you behind again... I guess it was always meant to end this way.”

No. He would find Shiro. He wouldn’t give up on Shiro, even if it seemed like Shiro had given up on himself.

“I know, I know, you’d hate me saying this, but I’d fight it ok? I’d fight to come back to you.”

If there was anything he could trust, it was Shiro.

“Who would have ever thought we would end up here? This wasn’t how I expected to be going into space with you, but I’m so glad that you’re here with me. You’ve saved me, so many times, and you keep saving me, just by being here."

Shiro laughed wryly.

"How many times are you gonna have to save me before this is over? ”

As many times as it takes, Keith wanted to promise. Every day for the rest of his life if he had to.

Then Shiro tilted his head, and his eyes crinkled as he smiled, and Keith had to swallow around the lump in his throat.

He hadn’t managed to save Shiro yet this time, but he would.

“I like to think that we were always meant to find each other. You said I changed your life, Keith, but I can’t imagine who I’d be without you. ”

It was hard to imagine who he would have been without Shiro too. Shiro had been the one thing he couldn't expect, and he had been the one to change everything.

"Maybe after all of this is over, we can stay out here, exploring the universe like we’ve always dreamed of. Co-pilots…Partners?” Shiro offered.

A future. Shiro wanted a future with him, even after everything.

"I have so many regrets already, I don’t want this to be one of them.”

Shiro paused, looking like saying whatever he was going to say was the hardest thing he would ever do.

“I love you. I don't know how long I've loved you, but god, sometimes I feel like I've loved you my whole life. ”

Keith’s heart stopped for a moment before it started beating again twice as fast. Shiro loved him.

“If I had to tell you when I realised it though, it must have been when I woke up in your shack, and your face was the first thing I saw, and all I could think of was ‘I'm home’."

Somehow Shiro had managed to pin down exactly what Keith felt the first time he saw Shiro again, after Kerberos. He’d looked at Shiro and for the first time in over a year, he'd felt like he was finally home.

“I always wanted to make history, you know? I loved space, but more than that, I wanted to be the one to bring humanity further than they had ever been before. But now…if I had a choice... If there's any way I want to be remembered, I want it to be for loving you."

The screen suddenly blurred and he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. It had been so long since the last time he'd cried that he wasn't sure how to stop anymore.

Tears fell onto the tablet, smearing the screen even more and his grip slackened. It fell to the floor with a thud, and the screen cracked, leaving the image of Shiro smiling frozen forever.

[xempasuchil-love-blog]

Lost on you chapter 2

Shadows in the night.

The night was clear, and the school cafeteria was full of laughter, Uma's stomach full and her eyes heavy with sleep. She never imagined that she could go to bed with a sense of calm and satisfaction in her chest. Not that there was any bed she would go to overnight on the Island. Mattresses came infrequently from Auradon, and although they were in poor condition, the fights over them were often brutal. There were four in Gaston's house, and she knew Mal slept in one, but for her there had always been a pile of cloth scattered on the floor and a pillow that Harry had gotten for her when they were twelve, or her hammock in Lost Revenge. Dinner was over and the most anticipated moment of that day was approaching, when she would see Harry so he could show her whatever he wanted to show her, and then they would go to sleep, ignoring Auradon with his absurd rules of not having boys and girls in the same bedroom. She had already gave the key of her room to Gil; luckily, Desiree didn't care that he stayed there. Uma allowed herself to enjoy the gentle evening breeze on her face, the weather was mild, and she longed to feel some freedom against her skin. At times, she missed the heavy winds that shook her braids as she held on to the ropes of Lost Revange, though she didn't miss the stench in the air. A familiar and agile figure approached from across the field at a careless jog. Harry reached her in a heartbeat, hugging her. Her muscles tensed for a second automatically, but then she relaxed and threw her arms around his neck, inhaling deeply the scent of his, so familiar to her. The smell of the Lost Revange hadn't left him: wood, a hint of rum. She wondered if her own scent had changed. "How was practice?" Uma asked her first mate, who had agreed to try the tourney to fit in with the school. “Well, I think so. Although not as intense as the ones we used to have on the Island. Bestie Ben says we could go practice swords whenever we want, you know? You, me, the crew.” Harry replied, unusually pleased. His hair was damp from the shower he had just taken, and Uma resisted the urge to run her fingers through his strands. She frowned. That had never bothered her before, she wasn't sure why it did it now. Harry melted at her touch, although she didn't want to think about it too much. They had already made quite a few exceptions on the Island by allowing mutual physical contact like hugging, Uma's touch on Harry's hair… in Auradon all of that was allowed. It was just that the gestures she and Harry had were too intimate, too intense. She had seen how the students looked at them strangely every time he offered her his hand to help her down from somewhere, or when she hooked her little finger on his hook (before he was forbidden to use it), when they looked into each other's eyes for a long time. That made her feel strange, as if it were the same as on the Island and they were looking for any weakness.

"It would be good," she commented. “I don't want my boys to rust. Who knows, if Ben fucks up, we might still give him a pretty good scare.” Harry laughed. Uma's words were empty, but she still laughed to see the scared expression of some Auradon guys when they saw the pirate crew that had kidnapped the king. "Anyway, there is something I want to show you." Harry pointed to the sky. There were stars, not a gigantic cloud of smoke and pollution. Uma looked in the direction of Harry's finger, to find a star that stood out above all the others in the sky. "It's there, Uma. That's where I come from.” Neverland. When they were children, Harry had been obsessed with finding the star, always disappointed when the only thing he could see of the sky from anywhere on the Island was gray. His sisters used to tease him out of obsession, so he stopped doing it. Uma knew that as a child, when Captain Hook still considered him worthy of being his heir, Harry had heard hundreds of magnificent stories about Neverland. He knew that his mother's family was still there, somewhere. "It's so bright," Uma said, smiling. She thought that Harry seemed to have carried the image of the star etched in his eyes, in that bright look of madness that was only his. The idea made her shudder with pleasure. They were silent for a moment, admiring the star, until Uma felt Harry look at her, then her attention focused on him. "Do you miss it, Harry?" Asked Uma. “The Island, the ship...” Harry vigorously denied. "Everything I could miss about the Island is here, Uma. You, the crew…. Also, Ben promised that he would bring Lost Revenge to the dock, remember? And I won't let it be an empty promise. Our captain must have a ship. Or else…” "You won't hook anyone, Harry." Harry blatantly feigned surprise. "I hadn't even thought about it." “Yeah right. I know you better than you do, Hook.” Harry seemed satisfied with that. He and Uma started walking to the bedrooms and as they did so, Uma wondered if she should tell Harry about her nightmares. She hadn't wanted to do it in the cafeteria, because sure Auradon already thought she was crazy enough. Not everyone was really convinced that she and her boys had been helpful in saving Audrey. Uma felt suspicious looks on the back of her neck, but she tried to forget about it so as not to generate more conflicts. Not when the barrier had fallen relatively recently. Definitely, not when her crew was so happy studying. So maybe she shouldn't worry Harry.

Ursula's cave was dark. Uma couldn't see anything, she could only hear the continuous splashing of the water droplets that fell from the ceiling to the ground, forming puddles. Deprived of sight and voice, Uma felt as if she was just waiting for the moment when it was all over. She heard something heavy crawl a few feet away and saw, through the blackness, her mother's necklace gleaming from her. She wondered if she had come to free her already, bored that Uma wouldn't give her the pleasure of flinching or trying to run away.. "Drink this, you ungrateful brat." Uma's heart began to pound. Ursula had been trying to make potions for the past two months or so, maddened at the idea of getting her magic back. She had also been forcing Uma to drink some of them, so that she could finally convert to her marine form, because Ursula was deeply ashamed that Uma had two human legs. After all, two stupid human legs had been the reason she had ended up in this hole, she thought. When he made her drink the potions, strange things happened to Uma. She lost the strength in her legs, so that she could not walk without excruciating pain coursing through her body for days. She was finding it difficult to breathe, something Harry had brilliantly solved by suggesting that she swim and let the seawater enter her lungs. Harry. Would he have realized that she was nowhere to be found? Would he be looking for her? "Don't resist, mollusk. That stupid son of a pirate won't come for you this time.” Úrsula laughed, a hideous sound that echoed through the cave and made Uma wince. "Come on, drink, drink! Do what I tell you, girl!” Uma felt the cold of the bottle against her lips and the grimy liquid slide down her throat, causing her to gag immediately. She needed to know what her mother had done with Harry, her crew, Gil, would they be okay? Darkness enveloped her again, only the weak light from Ursula's necklace flickering, and the echo of her laughter among the rocks of the cave. "Uma! You will never be enough, Uma, you can't even have a marine form! You are a disappointment!” “Uma!” “Uma!”

"Uma! Wake up!” It was dark, but it wasn't the crushing darkness of her mother's cave. For a second, Uma wondered what was happening. She looked around frantically, searching for her golden necklace until she saw it on her neck. She had stolen it from her, she had stolen it from her, and she didn't have to fear. Two hands held her face. Harry. She rose from the bed on shaky legs, wondering if the potion had somehow been real. Harry held her down as her legs gave out. How weak, how vulnerable. If crying hadn't been a weakness, she would have done it then. “What's going on?” He asked her, easily carrying her to the bed. Uma took several deep breaths, too fast, too shaken, until Harry took her by the shoulders and forced her to look him directly in the eyes. Uma felt her heart slowly calm down, she reminded herself that she was in Auradon, that old memories were just that, old memories. "Uma, tell me what's wrong." She sighed. "I've been having nightmares," she confessed, trying to ignore how weak her words sounded. "About my mother." Harry seemed to understand immediately. His eyes began to acquire the reddish hue that he had inherited from his father, without changing completely. He was also trying to control himself. "She can't reach you here, Uma," he reassured her. "You are far, very far. You are here with me.” "I know," she dropped into his arms, grateful. The constant pounding of Harry's heart reassured her completely. They were silent for a moment, sitting on the bed and leaning against the wall, not sleeping. The cool night breeze coming through the window, the moonlight like a precious silver ray. And far off in the sky, the star that Harry had shown her was shining. "Harry”. He made a sound to let her know he was listening. “Do you love me?” She asked the question directly, letting her words slip from her mouth before she could stop them, her voice infused with the force with which she commanded the crew. In some part, she was demanding an equally direct answer from him, afraid that Harry would run away from the answer, but he answered immediately, without a bit of hesitation, without thinking, as if the answer was so obvious. “Yes, I love you. I always have and always will.” Uma closed her eyes for a second, enjoying the feeling of knowing. The Island accepted loyalty as the ultimate show of love, even without being entirely well seen, something in which the two of them had excelled since they were children. But love… Uma knew that Harry would do anything she asked him, everything, and she knew that she would protect him at any cost. Love was a great word, new and at the same time so simple and natural. How had she not seen it before? Had they been so blinded, so obsessed with their parents' prejudice? Maybe they had loved each other from the first moment they saw each other, from the first time they stole some food together and shared it. "Uma? Why do you ask that? If it's because of the attempted kiss the other day…” He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I'm sorry I bothered you. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine as long as you allow me to still being your first mate.” He thought she didn't love him. He thought that Uma had rejected him and that she was still rejecting him right now. As if she could resist one more moment. As if she could keep pretending. Uma moved to straddle him, making him jump in surprise, blue eyes shining between adoration and disbelief. Suddenly, it occurred to her that her body belonged there, in Harry's arms, because she felt the same freedom she felt when she was at sea. "Uma?" She shook her head, cupping his face carefully, tangling her fingers in Harry's hair. As Uma expected, he melted at her touch, so she caught him off guard when she pressed her lips to his. It was as if an electric eel had touched her, her entire body seemed to respond to the timid touch and the next thing she knew was that she was kissing him fiercely, and that Harry was holding her by the waist as if she were better than any pirate treasure hidden in the sea. As if she were a goddess. He made her feel powerful and loved, and it hurt her heart to imagine how long she had been missing this. Harry kissed the corner of her lips, her cheek, the spot below her ear and a path that went to the middle of her neck, where Uma let out a sigh of pleasure that made him smile. Trying to regulate her breathing, she settled into Harry's chest, holding onto him tightly. She felt his happy laugh shake her body. "Does that mean you love me too, Uma?" She took a playful bite on his neck and Harry groaned in satisfaction. "It means you're mine, Hook. And... that I love you too.” Harry seemed so vulnerable in that moment, as if he believed that she was going to disappear as suddenly as a dream. So Uma kissed him again, her body demanding more closeness, more of Harry. Because she would never have enough of him, she thought with delight. Uma would never get tire of the taste of Harry's lips, the touch of his skin, she would never get tire of him being her first mate. For a moment, she forgot about the nightmares, she forgot about her mother, she forgot that she was in Auradon, because it seemed that everything Uma had always wanted was right there.

I also leave here the link to the story in AO3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30691319/chapters/75732848

[micahrodney]

Thread; Chapter 3 - Over The River

The following is a commission for Matthew Caveat Zealot.  Neil screamed, and started forward.  His head collided with something hard, but it wasn't his claustrophobia-inducing ceiling. As the foam-padded leather made contact with his face, he realized he was no longer in bed.  The young man was sitting upright, belted into the rear passenger seat of his father's Plymouth Voyager.  

“Whoa-” Neil's father cried in response, nearly losing control of the vehicle.  “Are you okay?”

Taking stock of his new reality required some mental recalibration.  Last he remembered was spending the evening with Damian.  The people-pleasing and worldly youth had been attempting to get Neil to broaden his horizons – and more relevantly his palate – by eating some chicken dish called Tom Kha Gai.  Afterwards they went back to Neil's place and may have had a bit to drink.  He vaguely recalled getting a voicemail from his father.  His dreams were vast and vivid, but as he tried to scrape together the scattered fragments of his vision they faded away.  More importantly was the rather noticeable gap in events.  

Neil took a deep breath as his father began to steer the vehicle towards the side of the highway. The digital clock above the tape deck read 5:45 PM. A large highway sign revealed that they were just 60 miles outside of St. Clair, Michigan.  They were 300 miles from his dorm room.  

To his left was his sister, Dawn. She was the younger of his two sisters, but she still had two years on him.  While the older sister, Kim, had been the spitting image of their mother, Dawn looked more like their father.  Her hair was naturally chestnut brown, though it was presently dyed black with electric yellow streaks, the better to match her grunge aesthetic. Dawn's usual attire was comprised of leather jackets and jeans, though she was wearing black sweats for the road trip.  

Occupying the passenger seat, into which Neil had just rammed his head, was his brother Travis. His beard seemed to have grown two inches since they had last spoken.  The boisterous one in the family was oddly quiet today, wearing a plain forest green sweater.   This was also a far cry from his Hawaiian shirt obsession.  

“Neil?” His father asked, after putting the car in park on the shoulder. “You good?”  

“I'm sorry, I just had a nightmare I think,” Neil explained. Maybe he was still having a nightmare.

That, or he had somehow lost several days of his life. They were on their way to his mother's memorial, which meant he had somehow fast-forwarded his life by about three days.  Which begged the question:  how the hell did that happen and why could he not remember any of it?  

“It's a nice change of pace, dude,” Dawn said, her attention split between her Gameboy, Walkman and the stick of gum she was chewing on. “Honestly you've been kind of a zombie since we picked you up.”

“Oh yeah, says the Borg,” Travis teased.  

“Don't hate my tech.  It makes the real world way more bearable,” Dawn retorted, resting her temporarily-misplaced headphone back over her ear.  

Neil took special notice of the word 'zombie' and decided to expand on that thought. “Have I been acting weirdly?”  

“I mean I figured you were just sad because of... you know,” Travis gestured towards the others in the car.  

It had to be especially hard for him, now sitting in the spot where their mother had for most of their lives, until the accident.  Three years had passed by in a miserable blink.  What were three days in the grand scheme of things?

“This is gonna sound weird,” Neil began, and that was putting it mildly. How exactly did one ask the question he was going to ask?  

“That would be a first,” Dawn quipped sarcastically.  Clearly The Smashing Pumpkins were not excluding her from the conversation.  

The proud patriarch Kevin Brown turned to Neil and gave him that same kind and understanding gaze that he always did.  His gentle eyes, that distinctive cleft in his chin, and a soft smile that won over even his mother. Neil could trust this man, out-of-touch as he was, with anything.  

“What day is it?” Neil asked.  

“Neil, you're scaring me now.  Are you okay?”

“Dad, please.  What day?”  Neil insisted.  

“It's Friday.  We picked you up from your dorm this morning,” Kevin said. “Neil... you're not on drugs are you?”  

“No, dad it's not like that,” Neil scoffed.  “I just-  I don't know, I haven't been sleeping right lately and everything is all... hazy.”

“Dude, it's dad.  If you're on something he won't get mad at-”

“I'm not on anything!” Neil shouted.  The confusion had devolved into frustration and Travis's well-intentioned comment was doing nothing to abate it. “Just because you fucked up your scholarship-”

“Hey!” Kevin interjected soothingly, reaching back to place a bracing hand on his shoulder.  “Easy now, there's no need to go off on your brother like that.”

Travis had turned back to face the road.  A few cars passed them, one even blaring on its horn unhelpfully.  Dawn popped a bubble between her teeth.  

“Now listen, son. If you say you're not, then you're not.  I trust you completely,” Kevin said.  “We'll take you to a hospital when we get to St. Clair and have the doctor check you out, okay?”  

“A hospital,” Neil nodded.  “Yeah, that's probably a good idea.”  

“Maybe they'll put you in a straitjacket,” Dawn smirked.  

There was no malice behind the comment.  Underneath the would-be nihilist's harsh exterior was a tiny grain of affection for her family, especially her younger brother.  This was her twisted way of trying to calm him down and make him feel at home.  And, oddly, it was working.  

“Sorry, Travis,” Neil said.  “I'm just really... I don't know.”

“You don't have to apologize,” Travis said, still not turning around. “It's a hard time for all of us.”  

He had the biggest heart of any of them, but it was also the most easily wounded.  When they were younger, Neil had been intensely jealous of the theater kid brother of his.  He was the center of attention, and by a wide margin the “favorite” child of their father.  As a result, the two boys fought constantly and viciously.  

Things only started to change when Travis left for college and started to mature.  But with the maturing mind came evolving tastes. He was a self-described “party animal”.  And one night he had partied too hard on the wrong side of LA.  Within a few weeks he was absent to all of his classes, and a no-call no-show termination at work.  

They found him on the UCLA campus between two bushes.  It had taken a lot of work, but their father had managed to turn a five-year jail sentence into two months of rehabilitation.  Being a lawyer's son had its perks.  The true penalty was the loss of his football scholarship.  That and the expression on their mother's face when he confessed to her he was an addict.  

Neil regretted his words now.  Apart from being the one big taboo in the otherwise accepting family, making such a cheap shot at his brother made him feel unclean.  When Neil had first found out, he was a little too keen to finally have something to one-up the perfect son with.  Teenage hormones were no help, and he hadn't developed a proper sense of empathy yet.  

“There but for the grace of God go you,” their mother would always tell Neil.  

That was bullshit as far as Neil was concerned, in the infinite wisdom of a adolescent.  He was better than Travis.  He was smarter. He didn't fall into the stupid obvious traps that all drug users did.  The mandatory D.A.R.E. Program had done a number on his concept of nuance.  But even as Neil railed on his brother, all their parents could do was just shake their heads with a mixture of disappointment and sad amusement.  

Disappointment.  That was a potent word. And that's what Neil felt like:  The family disappointment.  In spite of Dawn's fashion sense, Travis's past, and Kim's taste in men, Neil was the one who didn't fit in.  And it was nobody's fault but his own.  

---

St. Clair, Michigan was the homestead of their mother.  It was as far removed from Voxton as you could be.  The scenic town was nestled in the isthmus between Lake Erie and Lake Huron.  It was founded along the St. Clair River which flowed somewhat unimaginatively into Lake St. Clair.  

The river was one of the geographical borders which marked the edge of the continental United States.  Across the river to the east was Canada, should one feel inclined to attempt a crossing in the frigid waters.   Neil had only been here a few times in his life, and never while his mother was alive.  For some reason it was her dying wish to be interred in the family plot a few miles up-river, but she'd never expressed any interest in visiting the place.  

This was their fourth trip to the charming post-card worthy dell, where every street corner looked ripe for a postcard and every citizen seemed to come straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. The skies were blue, the horizon dotted with lighthouses and the only noise was the sound of motorboats gently cruising down the river.

“How are you feeling, Neil?” His father asked, when they parked the car outside their hotel.  While Kevin Brown dressed to the nines when he was with clients or in court, he preferred a casual look; khaki's with a crimson-and-grey striped cardigan.  

“I think I'm okay for right now.  Still a little fuzzy on the past few days,” he replied.  

Fuzzy, but details were coming back to him.  It was rather odd, more like he was recalling an episode of a television show which he'd fallen asleep during.  He seemed to have some vague idea of stumbling  to his classes for the week, but there was something hollow and robotic about the memories.  They had no spark to them, no authenticity.  It was like he was on auto-pilot, which may have very well have been the case.

For a moment he did consider the possibility that he had been drugged.  But the only people he had been with in the past week were Damian and his classmates, none of whom had the means or motive to do so.

“We'll have a doctor check you out anyway,” Kevin said, in the way that brokered no argument.  “There's a nice new facility just south of here in East China.  Only opened up a couple years ago.”  

Modernity was Kevin Brown's sole rubric for quality.  

“Daddy!” Came an overeager feminine voice from the opposite end of the parking lot.  

Kim, the oldest child, was eternally dressed like was late for a board meeting.  Straight out of the 80s with a shoulder-padded salmon pantsuit and her dyed-blonde hair in a perm that framed her slightly chubby face.  She had come a long way from the auburn-haired teen in overall's Neil had a vague memory of from his childhood.

She was tailed by her current boyfriend, a middle-aged trucker who chose to mark this momentous occasion by putting his least-stained plaid shirt.  The corners of his stubbled mouth were still dripping with chewing tobacco residue.  

“Honey!” Kevin said, embracing his daughter.  “And this must be uh...”

After disentangling herself from her father, Kim lifted a hand gesturing vaguely in the direction of the gentleman.  “This is Rocky.”

“Pleased to meet ya, sir,” said the trucker, taking Kevin's hand.  

“Uh, likewise Rocky,” Kevin replied, shaking it hesitantly.  He was presently engaged in trying to calculate the staggeringly narrow age-difference between him and the man now dating his first child.  

“Guys how are you all!” Kim said, pulling all of them in a group hug.  

Only Travis truly returned the hug.  Neil was trying not to suffocate under the noxious fumes of whatever perfume she was wearing, and Dawn with her slender frame had managed to slip out of the grasp entirely.

“Glad to see you haven't changed, sis,” Travis teased. “Still pushing papers?”

“Papers nothing, little bro.  Real estate has never been this good.  You know I don't know what that guy in the White House is doing right now, but if keeps it up, I'm gonna be filthy rich,” Kim laughed in a way that she surely thought was musical.  

“Maybe you can buy some clothes that come in colors  that don't belong in an old folk's home,” Dawn remarked, her attention somehow still fixed on the Gameboy which should surely have been running out of battery by now.  

“Oh you,” Kim sighed, giving Dawn her own special hug.  A sour-sounding electronic chirp seemed to indicate the gesture had cost Dawn a life. “I love your hair!  I bet this is such a fun time in your life.”

That was the saccharine-sweet way of saying “this is just a phase”. There was definitely a wide line between the two older children and the two younger.  Travis had been made humble by his fall from grace. Had he not, he would have turned out exactly like Kim.  Brimming with sunshine and not a drop of it genuine.

“So,” Kevin said, cutting in.  “The ceremony begins at noon tomorrow.  We have to run Neil to the hospital real quick.”

Kim let out a dramatic gasp.  “Oh no!  What's wrong, little man?”

“It's nothing big,” Neil replied, dodging another attempted hug.  “And it's kind of a private matter.”

Kevin caught the comment and nodded his approval.  “Dawn, Travis are you two going to be okay here at the hotel by yourself?”

Dawn nodded and began walking towards the hotel.  If she had enough AA batteries, she could have survived in a cardboard box.  

“I think we'll be okay, Pops,” Travis said.  “I hope you feel better, Neil.”  

Neil patted Travis's shoulder in a conciliatory way, and the two parted.  He was unable to dodge the second attempt at a hug from Kim, who pushed her head into his shoulder, even though she had to lean down slightly to do it.  

“Feel better, buddy!”  

“Thank you, Kim,” Neil grunted, more than a little embarrassed.

---

The doctor's visit was about what could be expected.  There was nothing wrong with his brain, according to a CAT scan and an MRI.  Kevin Brown's money always did the talking about both procedures were tackled over a five-hour period, despite a warning from the doctor of potential complications with the readings.  

His father was brilliant and humble, but he knew exactly how to get what he wanted. To benefit his children he would go to any lengths.  After Neil had been poked, prodded and had an unseemly collection of fluids removed from and added to his body, the final diagnosis was remarkably unhelpful.  

“Stress-induced narcolepsy?” Kevin asked.  “My son wasn't asleep, he just doesn't remember anything.”  

“That's the best conclusion we have right now.  Some patients with narcolepsy can also experience somnambulism; sleep-walking.  It's uncommon, but it has happened,” replied the stoic, but clearly annoyed Dr. Faust.

“I just,” Kevin sighed in frustration. “I don't understand.”    

“Sir, your son's brain chemistry is fine,” Dr. Faust explained. “Apart from a little sleep deprivation his scans are perfectly normal. Furthermore the toxicology reports show a clean bill of health.  Only that came back was a little bit of underage drinking.  It's not drugs, it's not some form of mental disorder.  The truth is, sir, I don't know what happened to your son.  The best thing we can do is keep an eye on him and if he has another attack like that, bring him right in so we can examine him.”  

“This is unbelievable,” Kevin fumed, his docile nature slowly ebbing away from stress.

“It's okay, Dad,” Neil said, placing a hand on his father's shoulder. “Let's just go, it's midnight and we have the memorial tomorrow.”

Kevin was willing to stay there all night if he had to, but Neil's pleading had worked. He put his jacket back on, without bothering to roll up his sleeves and straightened his tie.  Ever requiring the last word, he turned back to Faust.

“I hope you're right, Doc,” Kevin declared.  “Come on, Neil.”  

[shadowsfascination]

YAAU - Chapter eleven - Breather

The foggy morning clouds that hung low into the forest of Angel Island along with the last raindrops glittering in the light of the sun that shone behind the clouds, left a fairytale like scenery on the mystical place. Rain had been coming down non-stop for the last 24 hours until it finally stopped pouring down this morning. A red echidna was sitting on the steps of a familiar staircase. He was soaked, but didn’t seem to care since he was used to it. He was the guardian of the Master Emerald and had been for a really long time. It was a job he was proud at and he felt responsible for it. “Hey there, Knuckles.” A cheerful voice resounded through the early, fresh, yet damp morning air and the echidna opened his eyes. “Good morning Toma.” “I’m sorry you had such a storm during your shift, man.” The echidna shrugged his shoulders in a laconic way. “I’ve been through worse.” The other person took in the image of Knuckles’ attitude in admiration. “Anyway: you’re off duty. You can go home and rest for a couple of days.” Knuckles rose from his position on the stairs and stretched his legs and arms since they were cramped from sitting in the same position for a long time. He felt his butt and feet tingle from the lack of a decent blood circulation, waited it bit for the feeling to come back to it and walked down the stairs while saluting his co-worker that took over. When the war against the A.R. started four years ago, a feeling of nationalism lit a spark in many Mobians’ hearts, wanting to protect their planet, their freedom and their way of living. As a result of that, a lot of Mobians started to gain interest in the history of their planet and the many legends that were connected to it and so it happened that a small group of young Mobians began to spend more time on Angel Island. At first, they were just visiting the island out of interest, but as time moved on, their interest in the floating island turned into dedication. The group eventually built some houses for themselves and settled on the island, something the guardian of the island wasn’t particularly happy about. He lectured them about this being a sacred place and told them to get off the island. The group refused to leave and told the guardian about their wish to contribute to the safety of the Master Emerald. Knuckles warded off their intention of doing so, but the members of the group continued to live there. The red echidna was about to resort to violence to make sure that they’d leave but they refused to fight him and he left them alone, hoping that they’d get bored in the end, but they turned out to have a very strong will and dedication to stay. They gradually got involved with Knuckles’ business around the Master Emerald by helping him out. In the end they gained the guardian’s trust and they proved him worthy of contributing to keeping the Master Emerald safe and they came up with a schedule that showed who was supposed to do what task around the island, including guarding the altar. And so, the hotheaded Knuckles headed to his second home on South Island to spend some time with his friends. After the hedgehogs clashed two weeks ago, things had been stable and everyone was able to breathe again. Even though, the situation left its’ scars on everybody in their own way. Sonic and Shadow had been going to individual therapy to learn to cope with the things that happened and it wasn’t easy. Both of them kept having nightmares and Sonic was impressed by how dark things could get and how vulnerable he’d felt. He had been confronted with the fact that he was perishable and it was a scary feeling. Tails had been worried about Sonic and was scared off by the fact that even Sonic could be broken. His brother, the one he looked up to in so many ways. Broken. Even now it sometimes still seemed surreal. Knuckles just kept doing his own thing but had been thinking about everything that happened the last weeks on his own, reflecting by himself as he guarded the Master Emerald. As for Shadow: there were times where he’d freeze up at someone’s touch, especially in the dark and he zoned out from time to time. He would grow tired easier than before and Amy was having nightmares herself as well about losing the ones she cherished most. On top of that there was Jayde. Or actually: there wasn’t, because she had shown very little interest in Amy during this disaster and Amy was fed up with her. Luckily she was able to spend a lot of time with her friends right now and she was happy to be with Shadow again. She looked over her shoulder and caught a glimpse of him and Sonic as they were practicing new tricks with their Chaos energy as he agreed to do so earlier, but it was proven once again that he wasn’t a patient being, something Sonic and he had in common. To be able to do this, Sonic and he had to get back their Chaos energy in the first place since it was temporarily being stored in Tails’ translucent box due to the gotten out of hand-fight. “Okay, guys. Let’s do this!” Tails stated at Sonic and Shadow through the speakers in the training room the young fox had designed several months ago. It had been his special project and he’d finished it a couple of months ago. He created a device, similar to virtual reality helmets – only he had connected the device, shaped like a chip, with their contacting devices, connected to their inhibitors. When he sent out a request to the device, the receiver would have to accept it and when they did, they were being sent into a room that Tails could redesign over and over again. This time the room was plain white and had grey walls, existing from special fibers that had the ability to ward of energy, so that the Chaos Energy would not leave this very room. “Let’s roll” Sonic added and Shadow nodded in agreement. “I’ll open the box on the count of three. We’ll have to separate the energy first. One. Two. Three.” The box opened and nothing happened, leaving Sonic somewhat confounded, Shadow ready for everything to happen and Tails suspicious. “Is this even the right box, Tails?” He asked after nothing happened in a minute or so. “Of course it is.” “Doesn’t seem like it to m-“ Suddenly the box exploded and the energy squirted around the room at high speed and they could see the mixture of red and blue Chaos Energy aimlessly flying through the room, bouncing at the walls. It gained speed with every hit on the wall and reacted to the hedgehog´s readiness to attack it by becoming more aggressive.   “Ready?” “You bet!” The hedgehogs locked eyes and nodded in agreement without phrasing their strategy as they didn’t need to and never had. They closed their eyes, lowered their heart rate, opened their palms and put pressure on them to draw in their energy, but it was reluctant to separate. It shaped itself like a ball and spindashed at them and they jumped away to avoid it. “It’s copying our attacks.” “Been there, done that. Follow my lead.” Sonic shouted at Shadow  trying to overcome the noise from the crackling, aggressive energy. Something the blue blur learnt from battling against Emerl, was that it might help if they switched while attacking it so it wouldn’t be able to copy multiple attacks at once.  Sonic jumped forward, aiming for it, with a clenched fist. “NOW!” Shadow jumped before him and kicked it into a corner, but it bounced back at him, smashing him to a corner himself. Standing up again, Shadow had enough. “Let me try something, Sonic.” “What are you thinking of?” “CHAOS CONTROL!” At that sound, time stopped and he signaled something to Sonic. They both attacked the energy, counted down from ten and made sure to touch the energy that was theirs. On the count of zero the energy was absorbed back into them with quite a shock and smashed each of them into a different corner of the room. Tails brought them back into reality and Shadow started teaching Sonic new tricks with their Chaos energy. “I’m glad it worked out in the end,” Miles stated, thinking back at how they settled things with the Chaos energy. “Totally. The odds are with us for once,” Amy added. “Not like that, faker!” Her attention was drawn to the hedgehogs again. A groan escaped the blue hedgehog’s mouth as Shadow snored at him in a fierce way. Yes, he wanted to learn those tricks Shadow pulled off before, but not like this. Shadow was getting on his nerves. “First, you step back, holding your right hand in a punching position and your left hand near your chest. Yes- then you step forward and draw the circle with the right hand and-.” “Hey there, guys!” “Do not interfere with our training.” Shadow replied abrupt to the red echidna’s greeting, who frowned and the others that were on the porch of Tail’s house, playing cards. “Hey there, Knuckles!” Sonic called. “Focus, Sonic!” “SHADOW the Hedgehog! Stop being an ass, right now!” Amy shouted at Shadow. “Hmph.” The black hedgehog folded his arms and ignored his girlfriends’ commentary- an unwise thing to do. “Mind your own business, Amy”, he added. Amy grunted at him. Sonic drew the young woman’s attention and signaled something to her which made her smile. “One more time So-“ Shadow wasn’t able to finish this sentence for he was knocked over and shoved over the ground by a powerful gust. Crawling up he looked agitated, an expression he was showing often. Amy giggled at him. “Now, how was that?” Sonic phrased in an amused way. “Very funny.” “I thought it was funny.” His girlfriend said. “Say it like you mean it.” Sonic held out a hand towards Shadow while proudly smiling at him. The black hedgehog gave him a sarcastic glance, grabbed Sonic’s hand and rose. Amy had walked towards them and wrapped her arms around Shadow from behind, who stiffened up and seemingly remained stoic at the public display of her affection. “Shall we go?” She asked him. “Go where?” “What do you mean? You were the one who wanted to take me somewhere tonight.” “Heh? Uh... Oh! Right! Let's go, Ames. Hold on to me.” She hopped onto his back and he ran off, leaving the others behind. “Where are we going?” she questioned, having to lift her voice, caught in a shout, due to the noise of the wind. “I'm not telling you! Can you close you eyes?” “Hm!” She agreed  and closed her eyes, her muzzle decorated with a smile that showed her joy of being like this. Shadow would often lift her in his arms or let her sit on his shoulders while running so fast and she enjoyed the feeling of the wind, bristling against her quills and the power that was released from his velocity- almost transcendent. There was nothing that could ever knock them down. She felt his speed slowly fade into a slower pace and he gradually came to a stop. “Can I open my eyes now?” “I was going to have you keep them closed for the entire evening with no reason.” “What?” Amy shouted, her tone decorated with awe and annoyance and she opened her eyes – the view was so stunning, it took her breath away. Countless ivory flowers covered in the silver light of the rising moon above this lake, surrounded by hills and mountains. It was amazing and she instantly forgot about the reason she opened her eyes in the first place. “It's beautiful...”

“I know.” “Thank you for bringing me here.”