#anyway at first I was like “oh god oh fuck im going to be cancelled”

[ratislatis]

Hello :) do you take requests? Would you be willing to draw-

Teen-High-Binder Transmasc Normal?

here he is!! rooming with his sworn enemy!! waking up at noon every day!! eating ramen every night!! what a life!!

(btw everybody feel free to send me requests! with artfight on the brink I may get a bit slow, but I'd love any ideas you throw at me!)

timelapse under the cut <3

[nicegaai]

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[danvillecheese]

why do u think act ur age is fucked

[cracks knuckles] alright. essay time. you asked for it.

I’ve done a similar response to this before here and mentioned something else about it here but I’ll go over it again since those posts are both from a while ago. also bear in mind I haven’t seen aya recently bc I don’t like it. okay let’s get into it

[also im gonna preface this saying maybe i sound very pessimistic but im ranting and its just gonna sound like im complaining because i am. i mean no real malice by the way. im simply a person with a blog.]

first off. they don’t use the show don’t tell as well as they could. in the what might have been montage, sure, they showed potential scenarios and how phineas felt (very briefly) when isa stopped visiting his backyard but it just feels so rushed. I get that they only had like 11 minutes to show it but idk there has to be another way to write it. or just not have it at all idk its just from a writing point of view the whole episode feels rushed and out of place from everything else continuity-wise. why not use little easter eggs planted in the show beforehand? operation crumbcake? pharmacists? meapless in seattle? god theres so many episodes with evidence that phineas liked her back even if he didnt know. just. continuity!!!!

second. why did their friends not try something sooner. it’s not like they didn’t know. like phineas seems to be okay with saying “i wish! i am so in the friend zone there” in front of his friends (that quote alone makes me lose my shit but that’s a whole other point) so clearly they knew about phineas. and isabella also wasn’t quiet about it (source: pnf s1-4). they had like four years of high school to do something and they planned it the day isa left for college? nah its just the least realistic thing ever for me. also them being 18 is like yeah okay maybe the slow burn was worth it and theyre way more grown up (i love a good slowburn) but ohhhhhh my god SURELY their friends were getting sick of them dancing around each other. just me?

third. and I’m sorry to ash simpson but oh my god I hate the character designs like They Would Not Fucking Look Like That. it almost feels like it completely disregards their arcs during the original summer. like yeah child chub disappears over ur teen years but sometimes it stays a little longer! make phineas less twiggy!! make isa look more like her mother! (am i about to redesign them again? whoops)

four. and i know this is no fault of dan and swampy but the show was about to end anyways and yet the entire friend group was paired off into hetero ships?? get fucking real. none of those kids are straight. realistically, i know it was a different time and gay marriage wasnt even legal in the us yet so it wasnt all that common to have queer romance on screen let alone on disney channel but like i said, the show was about to end. what were the disney channel execs gonna do? cancel it? lmao

five. "I am so in the friend zone there." "we are guys. we do not talk about our feelings." WHAT!!! i cant believe this shit is real. these lines of dialogue are canon. what the hell. what kind of message does that even send to younger, impressionable viewers? if ur a 10 year old boy watching that (ok fine maybe that isnt gonna stick with you forever but listen) and you go 'oh its okay to just bottle everything up and not tell my friends about my feelings about anything ever' that is insane! thats not how things should go!! like i get the whole "im so in the friend zone" and yes, this also has to do with the era but like if they wanted to be a more progressive cartoon that kids look up to and enjoy maybe they just. shouldn't have put that whole conversation in.

i barely have any problems with the b plot. in fact id watch the episode just for the kazoo solo. because that plot lines up with the continuity. i can totally see heinz having bowling night with perry and carl and monogram every week! i can totally see perry and monogram retired! and carl running owca and getting payed for it! that all checks out! that one makes sense and works with the canon! if they got that plot so right how did they get the a plot so wrong?

i can answer this question: fanservice. its an awful word, i know. act your age is a fanservicey episode which is why i think it crashed and burned. mml season 2 is rooted in the same issue: doof is very present and takes away from the original plot of the show. like, the one he wasnt even in until the last episode of s1. slightly getting off topic but it is the crux of the issue. fanservice doesnt make for good storytelling. even if it brings in the big bucks. at its core, telling the story the way it should be told is the best one. even if it pisses people off. a good portion of the viewers will still appreciate whatever ending the creators come up with. and no, im not saying phinbella shouldn't have become canon, in fact i really like the ship and all their dynamics, i just think they went about it the wrong way.

as someone who's written and published fic about them getting together in different universes (granted, they were from when i was younger so its mildly terrible. take them with a grain of salt) there are a lot of other ways to tell that story canonically. honestly, i think the best way of doing it was to keep it ambiguous. dont tell that story. let the viewers pick their own ending for phineas and isabella. maybe they dont get together after all. who knows!

thanks for the ask! hope you had fun getting lectured <3

[iinryer]

I wanna get into boxing so baaad I need to get back to my jock roots too lol any tips??

CHOMPING AT THE BIT EVERYONE SHOULD TRY BOXING ITS MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLDDDD

oh my god ok. my starter tip is to find a gym! it may seem super intimidating, but there are beginners gyms and no-contact gyms that aren’t really for sparring or training as much as they are for learning and general cardio workouts!! those are a GREAT place to start to get familiar with it.

im not sure where you’re located, but i recommend TITLE boxing gyms! theyre a chain and sooooo so beginner friendly, scheduled time slots (which helps for people like me who need external structure) that can be added and cancelled via their app, they’re no-contact (it’s all heavy bag and equipment work, not sparring), and when I started going they did first session free and they let you borrow gloves! the only thing i had to buy were hand wraps which was like $10. they had me arrive a little early and showed me the gym, introduced me to the trainer for that night, showed me how to wrap my hands, and walked me through all six strikes! i joke that the sessions are like boxing jazzercise 😂 it’s music and a bunch of people at heavy bags with a trainer on mic calling combos! they also format the workouts like boxing rounds too which is fun

it’s been a couple of years so I don’t do group guided workouts anymore, but it was SUCH a great way to get started. now I train with friends or just book an open gym slot so i can heavy bag on my own or use the other equipment etc.

if you’re not vibing with the concept of hard mode joining an actual training and sparring gym right off the jump, i highly recommend finding a TITLE-esque gym in your area! they will get you set up with literally everything you need to do it for the first time, and then from there you can kind of tailor what you want it to be! i have tons of hand wraps and two pairs of gloves now, i even have proper boxing shoes and i train on occasion—but mostly I just do solo workouts when i get the chance! you might be into immediately pursuing a sparring track and get geared the fuck up, or maybe you’ll just always borrow gloves from a led-cardio gym, ymmv! but imo it’s a really really great way to just get your foot in the door and figure out what you like!

anyways. i love boxing. everybody should try boxing

[skrunksthatwunk]

just read shin devilman and i'm about to be so annoying what the FUCK WAS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (both /pos and /neg but frankly /baffled. what the fuck. anyway thoughts below)

ok so i knew sd (i'm just gonna call it sd) was gonna be weird right. it has TOS style gratuitous funny time travel plots and TOS style homoeroticism it's like. it's mostly there to see ryo and akira hang out in a variety of Historical Events/Settings/Clothes and that's fine. in theory.

chapter one fucking. i. okay i had this foreboding sense right like oh... they're in vienna in 1913 and my first thought was "do i google when hitler was born + is this a "do we kill baby hitler" time travel theoretical??" and i was like no no he would've been older. anyway it's gotta be a coincidence right hitler's not going to be in this. and then we meet this painter. his name is adolf. oh god. he hates jewish people. oh no. but everybody was antisemetic back then it like,, it might be a hitler symptom but this could still be another unaffiliated adolf. oh but his hair's greasy. but he doesn't have the mustache so maybe it cancels out? and as it goes on im like seeing okay his jewish.. art dealer(?) is selling this portrait of his unrequited love to another jewish man and i'm like oh god Please don't do what i think you're going to do with this but also debating whether or not i want this to be hitler because on one hand it would be an awful narrative choice. like politics aside (we'll get there) it's just so goddamn tacky. but on the other hand my fear and increasing belief that go nagai is about to reveal this guy to be THE adolf hitler is building up pressure for a fit of hysterical laughter that i Know is likely coming. god it would be so baffling and so so funny and

i howled. is my point.

like i cannot express to you how fucking mind melting this was to me. for the next couple hours of reading i would just stop and (unprompted) whisper adolf..! adolf hitler...!! to myself like. god what a fucking. just look at it god i don't have to explain LOOK AT THIS SHIT. LOOK AT IT. he animorphs into evil older hitler. it's in Such poor taste and it has Such fucking. dumb implications. we'll get there.

what else. oh i love how nagai doesn't even bother with explaining them adjusting to places most of the time. next chapter BOOM they're in armor on a boat ready for battle. did they just pop out of the dimensional rift like that? in historically appropriate roles/clothing? that doesn't always happen though bc ryo has to get them clothes for versailles next chapter. but we meet them with the cheyenne and it looks like they've been there a while so. idk it's goofy to me. he really said i am not putting all that effort into a drabble.

pivot but i like how dumb yaoi-coded a lot of sd is. i read it for The Scene (the "akira im not into women i um. i. uh" scene) but it still kind of surprised me sometimes. i would be chastising myself for looking at akira diving overboard to save ryo (in full armor) bc it's not Really gay to save his best friend's life right and then that's Immediately followed by this

im fucking losing my mind. kyaa don't take off my armor (baka). what am i doing. what was HE doing writing this. etc.

^^i didn't even gather everything gay i saw because eventually it started feeling about as enlightening as pointing out the gay bits in a ryokira doujin. but those are some highlights i guess. you think they encountered homosexuality in the ancient grecian military? surely not...... unless..............? (also they're bound by fate..... look i know they're almost The most literal iteration of that dynamic but. i know what you are)

i love this bit. zero stakes. "yeah greece kinda ate shit" "lol exactly like--" "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WALK!!!!!!!!!"

what else what else. oh this panel was funny. only her left arm is being severed here so that right shoulder is supposed to connect to her back. somehow. spot the difference!

THEY GOT FLAT STANLEYED

another panel i liked. the h in dhevilman stands for head empty

this one too. the scan was actual shit so i kept not seeing the guns so this was Extra jarring to me

also look at these little blurbs at the end. iirc they only did those for the joan of arc and little bighorn stories and LOOK HOW DIFFERENT THEY ARE TONALLY

like the joan chapter is largely sweet? i guess? it's supposed to be a happy ending and it's like aww (though. i don't think joan would be like "an angel in the form of a demon... :)" but whatever) and then it's like Yeah Well She WAS Tried For Being A Witch. By Humans. And Was Burned Alive. it's super jarring and then the little bighorn one is like "sometimes they put this in movies!" as if we didn't just see people get massacred???

actually that brings me back to the hitler thing. i'm kinda new to devilman so take this with a grain of salt but part of what i appreciated about How devilman's apocalypse happens is that like.. demons weren't Really in control of humanity's governments or anything. they inspired paranoia that exacerbated preexisting prejudice and selfishness and led people to view the marginalized as the most dangerous For their past oppression, and humanity tore itself apart. and when there was a little compilation of the groups targeted in this, jewish people (specifically in the context of the holocaust) and native americans were both brought up, and i respected that as well. devilman takes place in our world, so discussing these atrocities and ongoing bigotries is like,, relevant and important for what it's trying to do, i feel. it wasn't focused on much, but it stuck out to me, and i think it shows a degree of care about those genocides on the part of nagai.

but i think mentioning them in passing and from a contemporary perspective was a bit safer. you have to be a lot more careful doing historical fiction/time travel misadventures about Very Real atrocities for your Very Unreal Fantasy Romp. and i think that because nagai feels moved by these atrocities and because they're kind of important to devilman and what it's saying about humanity, he felt it would fit to have them in a devilman story that includes time travel (or perhaps he was just inclined due to artistic preferences. either way). i think it also makes sense to explore, in theory. yet any time you insert your fantasy bullshit as a cause for/major factor in An Actual Irl Genocide/Etc you kind of trivialize it. not quite the same, but the closest other example i could think of was how motherfucker supreme jk row.ling took the witch burnings and was like haha that was witches playing pranks on stupid idiot muggles. they were laughing btw. real actual irl people were murdered!! i'm not saying you can never joke about it or mess with it but when you're treating them as serious events And Also going "well actually it was my Dumb Fantasy Thing that caused that" you like.. make it about your dumb fantasy thing instead. the dead are reduced to props.

ch 1's depiction of hitler was of one who already hated jewish people before watching his beloved be burned alive by a jewish(?) demon (a demon masquerading as a jewish person? yeah), but who decided to dedicate his life to jewish extermination Because of that event. and i think the decisions to have him hate jewish people before this AND to not make him a demon are good. this could've been worse. but it still kind of makes the holocaust about demons, y'know? hitler was a person, one influenced by the world in which he lived. countless surrounding factors led to his hatred of jewish people, his attraction to fascism, and his genocidal project. the same is true for everyone involved in perpetuating or tolerating the holocaust. there is no inciting incident, really, for that hatred existing. not for most people. devilman is fundamentally concerned with the nature of group hatred, fear, bigotry, and violence. i would argue they're within its central bundle of inextricable themes (no matter how many adaptations try to, y'know. extricate it). exploring historical instances of that makes sense. but disregarding all of that nuance in favor of "demons tricked him" is in bafflingly poor taste. it's one thing to place demons in a contemporary/future-set story manipulating governments and encouraging violence, but it's another to make the murders of millions of Actual Real Not-Props-For-Your-Spinoff people retroactively caused by demonic influences. because it kind of decreases the agency of the Actual Real murderers. in sd they were tormented, deceived, manipulated by higher forces. in reality they were manipulated, maybe, but by humans. the same is true for the little bighorn chapter. admittedly, i'm less familiar with this event, but it seems... vaguely accurate? to my memory? regardless, taking a massacre that was part of a genocidal effort spanning centuries and going "custer had demons in his heart >:(" is like. revolting to me! and i don't think it's even a like,, metaphorical demon in the hearts of him and his men because we see a very literal demon in marie antoinette's heart the chapter prior. i think it's supposed to be the same thing. symbolic, maybe, but in-story there is in fact a literal demonic possession causing this. as opposed to the propaganda, violence, willful ignorance, greed, callousness, etc which actually caused it. it's like.. anti-relevance. anti-poignance. even if the demons are symbolic of like. humanity's base instincts or whatever i still don't like it. it's stupid and it sucks. and you've got like. tiana getting raped. and because of the context she's a sort of stand-in for everyone who experienced sexual violence as part of this genocide. and it's got the go nagai depictions of sexual violence funk on it (i need to finish devilman lady but Oh Boy) so it's like yucky and that makes the depiction of the genocide broadly yucky because it's again a snapshot of an actual THING that HAPPENED to REAL PEOPLE and it still has the horny funk and. god am i making sense?? whatever it's like. bad to me. i'm not saying you can't like shin devilman or whatever but this part was gross and as hard as the hitler twist made me laugh it was simply not worth it. the toybox approach to historical fiction is Not Good when you start putting in real atrocities and real people, imo. you can't blame hitler's antisemitism on demons bc that primes people to dismiss others as Just Evil it encourages an ignorance that perpetuates genocide and also it's just kind of bad for your story's like.. social commentary. devilman feels like an indictment of humanity but sd almost feels like it's excusing humanity for the same actions bc of the retroactive thing. it's like devilman's demons weren't manipulating humans who independently had a pattern of mass violence for xyz reasons but instead were the secret cause of every cycle of mass violence humans did. it blows!! genuinely open to differing views on the fucking political commentary in shin devilman but idk i just uh. don't think it was good. as someone who's fresh off a first read.

idk. um. i thought shy ryo was interesting.

tbh it doesn't seem like,, in line with my image of ryo from the original series? but i kind of like it when characters are unexpectedly shy, so it's cute to me. i have to wonder when in the process of writing devilman nagai decided ryo was 1) in love with akira and 2) intersex (something ryo if not nagai himself explicitly ties into his interest in men), because the whole thing feels... different than devilman irt that dynamic. i mean, i've been talking about how gay sd is, but i genuinely think a lot of that comes from a desire to depict their relationship with those things in mind, both for the audience and (again, potentially) the author. making ryo more shy in like.. a kind of effeminate way? (idk man idk) feels like the sort of not-quite-retcon that'd stem from that.

actually i kind of liked his relationship with tiana, brief as it was, and what it highlighted about ryo. he blushes when he realizes she's into him, and while he sort of rebuffs her flirting, it's clear that he still cares about her. he's flustered by the situation because it puts him in an awkward spot, not being able to say why he's not interested (and who he's actually interested in). it's a less-discussed and honestly very relatable part of being gay and closeted that was like,, pleasantly surprising to see. hell yeah. and that bit about ryo being unable to kill animals where she says he has a gentle heart is so cute to me

they're friends!! :> and that rules. i think there's a tendency to depict queer characters who don't (and are unable to) reciprocate the feelings of a straight character as being cold to them. and i think it would be really easy to take this gay sort-of-villain in ryo and make him disregard tiana (or women broadly)'s feelings (the gay misogynist trope). but ryo is tiana's friend. her crush isn't going to change that, because the friendship is genuine and comes first, and i like that. and i think in the context of sd we're supposed to read ryo's feelings for akira as ultimately unrequited. he loves akira, and akira loves miki. but that's not why they're not friends in the end. i see ryo/tiana and ryo/akira as parallel relationships. that in a world where ryo confesses and akira doesn't reciprocate, they would still be friends (something especially powerful with a gay character, who're treated as if they perverted a perfectly normal friendship). it's kind of sweet and hopeful, even if you know their relationship's going to end for other reasons soon enough. and he cries when he sees her dead!! i know that feels like a no-brainer to have characters cry when they see people massacred (people who took care of them for weeks) but it's not a given!! and again it shows that he cared for her rather than being like pshuh. women. which again a lot of people inject into their gay guy characters. like i'm glad that one of the adjustments made to ryo's character Was Not That (phew) but instead something that kind of made him more similar to tiana, made him relate to her even though her crush made him feel a bit awkward. like. there's room for exploration there, with him projecting his own awkwardness onto akira and stuff. anyway. yeah i wish she was a more developed character bc she is very much a brown girl there to fall in love with a foreign stranger, highlight elements of his character, and then die horribly but that doesn't mean i don't like what was there, i guess, so much as what wasn't.

[weebsinstash]

Im so pissed they leaked half of season two and I got so many spoilers I wanna cry 😭😭😭😭

God don't even get me fucking started because i got spoiled within the last day and im so mad. A friend of mine was telling me to stay off Twitter because the leaks were everywhere and I wound up getting spoiled on fucking YouTube community posts, some jackass posting two massive spoilers without doing the whole

spoilers!

.

.

Thing first, so I literally just glanced at a comment for 2 seconds and got spoiled on, I don't even wanna clarify because I don't want to spoil it for anyone else, but like, it was two things that this person just listed and didn't go into huge detail on, and it's... not what I was expecting? Definitely changes the dynamic between uh two very specific people, and the other spoilers I saw about, a twist, I was kind of expecting anyways and I am interested to see what they do with and tbh I have some drafts where Reader was in a relationship with [REDACTED] and then said person comes back with a vengeance and finds out Reader has cuddled up with the Morningstars and he's pissed

What gets me is I think I heard through the grapevine that Vivzie said they had to scrap entire episodes or things that were leaked so it's like... is the show going to be changed now? Is it ruined? Will it take longer to come out now? I blame social media but now I'm sad. People work so hard to make art and shows for adults by adults and it gets ruined by people wanting clout over providing "insider information". It's already so hard to get certain shows even picked up and then you have things like "oh yeah this show was massively popular but it got canceled and removed from the streaming service anyways to make room for season 12 of Hot Fucking Garbage"

I can't believe we went from "here's cute Halloween merch of people in costumes like Vox and Lucifer wearing animal onesies and Alastor dressed as a reindeer" to "hey you know these characters who are absolutely great with each other? It's all a fucking LIE"

[nijisanji-brain-rot-fics]

rating the fanbases in nijisanji en that im in 🤠🤘

also im not hating on yall im just talking about…… some colorful things about the fan communities im in

aight for one, kyomies. = FUCKING -18/10

im scared of like some of yall. like ongod 😭 either chill or so fucking down bad WW like oh god i watched the confessions stream YOU GUYS. ARE SCARY. PLEASE. I CANT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES MY JAW DROPPED WATCHING THAT STREAM. also we needa stop bullying kyo for being the shortest male in nijisanji en lmao hes coping already 💀AHEM… TO ANY OF YALL WHO GENUINELY LIKE ASTERS FEET CAM STREAM… DNI (jkjk but like keep a respectable distance from me pls 🧍✋ yall scare me enough)

kindreds!! = 5/10

yall horny as fuck. all i gotta say. we all know the gwak gwak incident, lets leave it pls. also yall are nice, everyone in chat is pretty nice, yk you get a parasocial chatter every once and a while but oh well wwww 💀💀 ehmmm theyre like the first niji en fanbase ive been in, i have a friend irl whos a kindred, theyre nice yk did not prepare me for the shitshow the online kindreds are

villions = 8/10

i know, we are all probably down bad for ber whenever he speaks korean, BUT CAN YOU BLAME US?? i wanna bet ver is half of his fanbases’ reason to learn korean (can vouch because i started to relearn kr bc of him 😭👌) ALSO HES SUCH A CINNAMON ROLL I JUST WANNA SQUISH HIM!! villions in general, yall r nice, like all i gotta say LOL

sicklings = 4/10

basically kindreds but like twice as horny and mentally ill 💀like goddamn yall listen to his yandere asmrs and go ‘he can fix me’?? is that like a thing in this fanbase? 😭 how mentally ill yall had to be to fall for a therapist [bullying myself rn] like holy shit also that one overlay incident 🫣 lets not talk about it but like anyways yall are ok, its a debatable topic also just wanted to say hex looks like the type of person to have a rice purity score of 53 idk

FaMillie = 10/10

OK SO IM BIASED BC IM ALSO A FILIPINO AND YK SWAGPINOS UNITE BUT YOU GUYS ARE FUNNY I CANT LIE, YOU HAVE GENUINELY MADE ME CACKLE SOMETIMES especially the hugot lines stream, my mom fucking got mad at me for laughing so much some of yall are unhinged like stop bullying millie LOL ik its for shits and giggles but damn, yall are being mean sometimes 😭

Quilldren = 6/10

personally, i havent been in the fanbase too much but most of you guys are chill so neutral score. havent seen too much stir from ike's fans so thats nice, good to know theres one fan base that isnt overtly chaotic [from what ive seen 👀]

scythekicks = 8/10

girl is this fanbase dead or am i just not active on twitter? probably the latter LMAO but like i barely see any doppio fans in the wild like where are yall come out come out you may be outta scythe but you aint outta my mind WWWW we all love doppio in the scythekick household, that man gets so entertained so easily

uhhhh shit ok pls dont cancel me WWWWW IM NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE I PROMISE THIS IS ALL FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES im in these fan bases too IM BASICALLY FUCKING MYSELF OVER

also posts are gonna be slow as fuuuck cuz schools starting and yknow we gotta COME IN DO YOU READ ME?-

im just kidding guys dont hate me for this WWW its for giggles so dont take it to heart

i think i did this wrong in so many ways but oh well LMAOO

[rillils]

RILLLSSSSSSS OH MY GOD IM GOING FUCKING INSANE 😭 THIS IS GONNA BE LONG OH MY GOD 😭😭

OK SO MY SCHOOL HAS THESE FIELD TRIPS EVERY YEAR AND GOT CANCELED BC OF COVID (this is our first time back face to face, so weve had online classese for almost 3 years now) AND THEY STILL HAVENT BROUGHT IT BACK

SO HIM BEING PART OF THE STUDENT COUNCIL AND ALL, I ASKED HIM TO ASK THE PRINCIPAL IF THEY COULD BRING BACK FIELD TRIPS AND WERE STILL WAITING FOR THEIR REPLY AND OH MY GOD

FOR THE PAST 4 HOURS WE HAVE BEEN FANTASIZING ABT GOING ON AN AMUSEMENT PARK DATE

and rillssssss 😭😭😭

im gonna go insane oh my god 💞💞💞💞

SO HERES HOW WE THOUGHT ITLL GO:

-we meet at school bc thats where all the busses are to go to the amusement park (keep in mind that we dont even know if this idea will get accepted) and this time there wont be any supervisors with us just teachers (bc yay im a highschool student now 😗) anyways

-and wed sit at the back of the bus (each class has their own bus, so hed ask if he could stay at my bus instead, if they dont allow it then wed both go to the bus for the people who are late)

-wed watch movies and share earphones and id lean my head on his shoulder and hed cover me with his jacket (HE SAID THAT ID GET TO KEEP IT OH MY GOD 🥹🥹🥹) if i get cold because i said that ill wear a dress that looked similar but way shorter than the one i was wearing in that picture i sent him (when he called me an angel when i was wearing a wedding gown i wore for my aunt's wedding)

-wed hold hands the whole time and id pull him around to go ride all the rides (nobody knows abt us dating just that one friend, we dont care who'll see anymore, nows are only chance to go on an amusement park date, well if it gets accepted that is)

-and hed hug me from the back (weve never hugged yet nor have we held hands) while we wait in line for the ride

-HE SAID HED GIVE ME PRINCESS TREATMENT RILLSSSSS

LIKE FULL ON PRINCESS TREATMENT, THIS WAS WHAT HE SAID TO ME EXACTLY THIS AND RILLSSSSSSS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOVE PRINCESS TREATMENT OH MY GOD 💞💞💞💞

-he said hed follow me around everywhere

-he said hed tie my shoes if my shoelaces got untied

-he said hed carry my bag while he waits for me outside the bathroom

-and he said and insisted that he wants to pay for everything (except the ticket since the school would be paying for that) because he wanted to give me the full on princes treatment and im fucking melting rilllsssssss 😭😭😭😭😭

-and he has a polaroid camera and he said hes getting a lot of films for it and were gonna take two pictures each so we each have a piece

AND GUES WHAT HE FUCKING SAID RILLS

GUES WHAT HE SAID

HE SAID THAT HE LOVES ME AND OH MY GODDDDDDD 😭😭😭

HE SAID THAT IM PERFECT, THAT I MADE HIS WHOLE LIFE BETTER, THAT HES SO LUCKY TO HAVE ME, THAT HES OBSSESED WITH ME, THAT IM A VERY SPECIAL PERSON IN HIS LIFE, THAT IM BEAUTIFUL, THAT HE WANTS TO MARRY ME, HE SAID THAT HE COULDNT EVEN COMPREHEND WHATS HES FEELING RN AND RILLLLSSSSSS IM GONNA MELT 😭😭😭

ACTUALLY NO, I ALREADY DID 😭

rilllsssssss i love him oh my godddddddddd 😭😭😭💞💞💞

he just said that he wants to treat me like a fucking queen oh my godddd what do i doooooooo 😭😭😭

OMG ANGDKABFKGKFNSKHFK 💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖 Holy shit bby!!!!! All right, so first things first, I really do hope with all my heart that you guys get to have a field trip again soon, even with all the necessary measures for your safety and health 💕💕💕🙏🙏💛💛💛 Second, OMG 😍😍😍 The date you lovebirds planned sounds absolutely perfect, and Lover Boy really really sounds like the sweetest boyfriend out there, it's all so so romantic 💕💕💕 Damn right he wants to treat you like a princess, you deserve nothing less than that 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 But wait wait wait, he actually said The Words????? HE DID???!!!!!! HONEYYYYYYYYY OMG THAT MUST HAVE FELT AMAZING, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍💕💕💕💕💕 HE LOVES YOU AND YOU LOVE HIM AND IT'S ALL SO PRECIOUS I'M GONNA FLY TO MARS AND BACK OUT OF SHEER HAPPINESS ALONE 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 It really sounds like you're living your own personal fairytale and I absolutely freaking LOVE this for you 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 Ahhhhhh I'm sending you all the hugs in the world!!!!!!!!

[unsadgalriri]

January 13, 2025

Today is Monday. I'm off today. So usually I'm off Mondays and Tuesdays, but my days-off have been fucked up cuz Sara been on vacation, which is fine, but it be fucking up my days off. So I was off yesterday too which thank GOD (ended up working out academically even tho I usually hate when they fuck with my days off). But bitch it's been crazy in LA. So like last week on Tuesday I was at Barnes and Noble working on my data analysis for my treatise having a grand old time. My girl Rita really held it down for me girl like thats literally why I was analyzing the fuck out of that data. So anyways, I bought myself a venti drip coffee that tasted like shit and then I was drinking it and doing my thing. I had this little bag of mixed snack because I'm literally a fatass bitch but like, i really just be eating LIKE a fat bitch and it's a wonder i'm healthy and not fat thank you God. Okay side track I've actually been eating really well lately. I be eating my salads again. Switching it up with the meals. Buying at the store more. Which I'm happy about obviously because it's been saving me a lot of money. Anyways. SO yeah Im at Barnes and Noble or whatever, and it was like almost 4 and I hadn't eaten all day and that venti shitty drip coffee shit was really doing a number on me. My stomach was doing a beatbox, some might say. Anyways bitch I had to flee and I was hungry and I had some chicken fried rice that I had made so I was like yeah I want rice and so that's what I did. So I get home to take a shit and as I'm walking home, like on the way home pre-shit, I like noticed this big ass cloud of smoke. And I recognize clouds of fire smoke because I grew up in the desert and there were so many fires all the damn time. And I'm like oh something is on fire, but like, at this time I had forgotten how flammable LA was because I was here for that fire that happened my second year of college at UCLA and bitch the 405 looked crazy and classes were cancelled and then I think that all-girls catholic school was burned or close to being burnt or something. Someone's school had to be evacuated I think. Yeah that was scary. And I was away from everyone. SO I'm on my porcelain throne, and I look out of Alex's windows and girl the skyline is filled with smoke. I was like um is this not a big deal??? It was like, weird, and it just seemed scary that it was in a city cuz there are so many buildings that would burn and spread fast i feel like, no? Idk my perception was off and I couldn't tell how close it actually was, but I get on twitter and I like search up california fires, and bitch pacific palisades shows up. like pali is on fire. and instantly I think of how the bluffs were going to burn. I had so many good memories at that view. I loved the houses on that court. I used to go down sunset and turn on el medio---but not the first el medio---on my way to the view. I'm driving past Pali High. So many of my In-N-Out coworkers went to school there. They would commute all the way from like south central or somewhere far I think. They commuted because of how good that school was and they would end up in places like UCLA. It was inspiring. Like you learn so much in LA. You learn about real struggle too. And people struggle in different ways, but in LA some people have insane stories and you learn every day that life is not that bad and that someone could always have it worse. But like on a deeper level, like i think that empathy is really important and God gives us life struggles to learn and grow from. Remember how you felt when you felt like you were at your lowest? Some people have struggles you couldnt imagine. So many people who work in high school while working to help pay the house. Continued on into college and I hope that they made it after. Racism is so bad too. Or like hatred at least. People aren't scared to have polarizing opinions and instead of having a civilized conversation, people feel enabled to be confrontational in order to prove their points.

............

Anyways, I got high while writing this and made myself a bomb ass breakfast bagel. Was watching Coyote Ugly. It's so cheesy lmfao. Took a five hour nap. Just wanted to say that LA is on fire and I am about to submit my treatise for its final review. I'm about to earn my master's degree today.

Also what's happening in LA is really sad. So many people lost everything. They're staying at our hotel right now. So many of them. Lost pets, heirlooms, people. I am grateful that my brother and I have been unaffected. When we evacuated the night that the hollywood hills set on fire, I think that's when it him me how serious it was. Alex and I were walking to 7-eleven and we're coming up on 3rd street and that one stree that borders pan pacific to the west, like straight up that street, we see a big ass fire. By this point, Pasadena and the Palisades were BOTH on fire. I WAS LIKE BITCH THAT"S DIFFERENT????? They always ask that ice breaker question "what 5 things would you bring if your house was on fire" and I actually had to decide what to leave behind. And then I realized that people lost their homes, their cars, like literally everything. And choosing things to take felt so surreal because I was like, omg, i have good memories with you, but I have to leave you. Or I would be like, I am absolutely bringing this with me. So many clothes I would have lost. I would have lost mostly everything. All in the middle of treatise. I am just one unique story out of many. That was my life during the LA fires. I finished school during them. Hoping that God sends rain or something. LA has come together so much and I feel like it is about to change. Seeing others help each other is so beautiful. One can only dream I guess. I am going to action the revisions that Dr. Luke put for my paper and then submit it and officially receive my degree. Lowkey still need to do my consultation meeting with FB too. I can't wait to start applying for jobs.

God bless those affected by the LA fires.

[d3ardum8di4ry]

December 16th 2024 2:59am

WAKE UP ITS FINE SHYT LOREEEE ‼️

ermmm so about like a week ago i met this guy on a dating app and he was so hot i thought he was a catfish. BUT HE WAS REAL WTFF. i didn’t find his face card super attractive at first tbh.. but as we started snapping why was he so perfect?? like i was my full self cuz im tired of lying but he loved it lowk?? HE WAS EVEN ASKING TO FT LIKE HE WAS ASKING NOT ME!! so when he asked to hangout i knew i couldn’t sell. i was so stressed and really wanted to cancel but i didn’tttt. i def could’ve gotten kidnapped or killed but yk it is what it is. see that was not my only questionable decision tho… but we’ll get there! but basically, he picked me up and said i look even prettier in person BUT HEE was sooo much more attractive than his pictures!? even cuter than i thought after the snaps!! hello!!??!? anyway so i’m not even able to make eye contact and literally go non verbal for the drive bc i am SO nervous. so we went to his house and we talked for like 4-5 hours. we watched movies and literally spilled LOREEE. and eventually later like he kept implying that we should kiss. so i full send and why is he THE BEST KISSER. he smells so good and his jawline is so so defined. ALSO I ACCIDENTALLY GAVE HIM A HICKEY- sorry luvr! anyway so one thing leads to another and his dong is OUT AND I CASUALLY FIND OUT THAT ITS THE THICKNESS OF MY FOREARM, EIGHT INCHES LONG AND FUCKING CURVED LIKE A MF CANDY CANE. that shit has my jaw on the floor 10/10 dong. biggest i’ve EVER seen. i high-five it and blow it a kiss and when i get bored of BLOWING kisses i hopped on it EL OH EL. he kept telling me i didn’t have to if i didn’t want to but girl i NEEDEED. it didn’t not fit i couldn’t get it in it hurt so so bad. but FELT SO FUCKING GOOD HOLY MOOTHER FUCKUNGBSHIT???? oh my god bro. anyway. so then i hope off cuz it’s not fitting and he goes soft.. and im like oh.. ok? and that shit will not come back up. we literally had a keep convo about his performance anxiety dong still out and all. he was so frustrated w himself it actually made me so sad he’s an angel who just didn’t wanna disappoint me. so we put on music and we just keep talking idk i love talking to him mannn. and the we get to kissing again bc yk i can’t keep my actual face off of his.. he’s gorgeous, and sweet and funny and real. anyway so i start kissing his neck and hey! guess who came back to life dongkey kong shlong! we legit looked at eachother and just knew but ofc he still asked. it took some adjustment but there i was… pillow under my ass, massive eggplant ripping my prickly muffin in TWO. RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAWRAWRARARWRWW i let this fucking sexy stranger hit it raw bro!!??? my brain was on zero bad but it was so fucking good bro. so good. he finished in me and it was so hot how he just collapsed on me like yes come here. DIDK STILL IN ME AND ALL. he got up and offered to carry me to the bathroom?? stfu angel angel angel. i’m so in love w him and he doesn’t even know LMAO like he thinks it’s funny i’m so fucking downbad. i got really lucky i literally could’ve died or got clap had i not been right about his intentions. anyway we hung out for like another hour and then we left. he drove me home and we talked the whole entire time. and he even kissed me before i left the car and waited til i got in to leave. HELP?? i’m so irrevocably in love. i wanna be with him so bad. oh but shocker he’s been damaged asf by a girl and doesn’t want anything serious yet! DIE. ugh. anyway. now i feel extreme anxiety and guilt but i just have issues when it comes to sex. i think im just overthinking. idk but i think we’re gonna fall in love in fact i know amen. i love you fine shyt!

[nardonotes]

26 oct '24

4:30am

lads.... (≖_≖ ) ok first of all,, there's going to be two posts with the 26th because im basically writing about the 25th rn but it's 4:30am so it's the 26th ANYWAYS-

so i woke up late asl,, there wasn't a specific time to go in my work experience anyways, and the last time i went it was like 12pm,, so ?? they teased me for it a little bit but like y'all are not paying me AT ALL also im going fucking warehouse work when i should be sitting upstairs with the graphic designers and watching them work so i get an insight of what this career path looks like for me in the future. ⁽⁽(੭ꐦ •̀Д•́ )੭*⁾⁾ so like.... i will SHOW UP WHENEVER I WANT TO FUCKING SHOW UP. and im not filling that fucking 60hrs omfg,,,, literally just gna lie to their asses because i did so much work today with no break. literally free fucking labour. but god bless i dont have to think about it for another week. ( ≧ᗜ≦)

when i got home, i literally knocked tf out. like i was soooo exhausted. wait i just lied- before i knocked out, i ate CRAB !!! (one of my favourite food, i love seafood a lot) and went to the repair store with my sister to help her get her laptop fixed. (¬⤙¬ ) OH! and i also got my film i developed. im kind of done with getting them printed in though,, i think i'll just take digitals from now on, and if i want certain film printed, ill either do it myself or pay less than like a tenner for a few.

so where was i- THEN I KNOCKED OUT!!!! i slept at 6pm and woke up at like 11pm? i felt so good after though,, i ate, cleaned my room, washed my sheets, CHANGED MY SHEETS EEEEEEKK!!!!!!!1 i love love love new sheets :33 now im writing this. im kind of hungry though... im so glad i don't have to do shit tomorrow. i'm going to watch IVE stuff because it's been so long since i have and i need my coping mechanism to cope my mechanism. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hmm,,,, what else. oh right the girl; HOUUUGGHHH...,.,..,..,.,,,......,. like/... this minor (which is not so minor bc we're grown enough to communicate) issue just turned me off so bad like... she's not very good at communicating. and the more i think about it, it's like,, she didn't even apologise for cancelling.. so like u clearly dgaf. so... (¬_¬") idgaf anymore./ i kinda lost interest after this,, if she wants to raincheck properly with me, she can put in the effort bc i can't be assed.. i already expressed that i was lookin forward to it- and that i'd like to know when she's free, and if her roommate doesn't fuck up her plans again (which i also think is just an excuse. ahem.) it's fine tho really,, i watched wony vids last night and was like wow... i don't need nobody but her ( ´ཀ` ) like wow... shit got me droolin ( ´ཀ` ) ( ´ཀ` ) ( ´ཀ` )//..

LOL. anyways. im excited to just rest and recharge this week. i'm going to try and not make so much plans with anyone either because.. i need this time alone xD....

ok goodnight/morning. im going to find something to eat, and then watch some stupid youtube shit!! eeek!!!!! so excited!!!!!!! <3 never kill yourself. <33

song of the day: Mercury by Ravyn Lenae °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[baekhvuns]

IM BACKKKKKK

Bestie, ateez ain't making it easy for me to live especially seonghwa. 😮‍💨 BCZ THOSE LONG HAIR AND THOSE POOL PICTURES AGHHHHHHHH GOD! Anyways, about my life 😃, so, i am taking like a drop year...i obviously had to as you know my whole situation BUT I'll be doing some certificate courses and you know learning something skill based while i...do a job, yes you heard tht right😞 I GOTTA MAKE SOME MONEYYY and honestly I've cancelled out going abroad for a few years at least, I'll solely would be focusing on living here and...yeah. I'm not completely giving up, but, focusing on some other things. Mhm. The only prblm is tht my mum thinks I'm, wasting a year and considering how much of an overthinker she is, she's worrying about what others would say and Quite honestly I don't give a shit...the universe wanted me to do this...like this is my life and it's going on how it was planned so I don't see why I should be bothered by a few relatives 🙄

And other than that I HV BEEN OBSESSED WITH CHALEYA 😭 like I sing tht song every 3 seconds fr i can't. And I've been getting obsessed with oneus, their new single baila conmigo 😮‍💨 oh my lord. Another controversial thing...i didn't like jungkook's new single 3D ..... like...what was even the point?? Bro- and i hv no idea who jack Harlow is..I've seen people obsessing over him BUT THT RAP 😭 NAUR THT DIDN'T DO IT FOR ME. and honestly, it's so weird how jungkook's basically singing abt doing the deed every damn time, like ok boi I get it, and I liked seven obviously BUT I HOPE HIS ALBUM DOESN'T HV EVERY SONG IN IT LIKE THIS!

Ok what're your opinions about this whole lisa situation tho? Her performance at tht one r-rated dance thingy? Honestly, ok hear me out, idfc what lisa or Jennie anyone does in general, it was her choice she did it...and people keep hating on her bcz tht what people do...what I want to say, is what if it was a bg member...like what if it was jk or taehyung doing something like this? I bet all these girls would go crazy and be obsessed over it or something like, "omg they're breaking the kpop standard" i genuinely despise this double standard thing.

Ok rmr i told you my cousin was getting married HER WEDDING IS SET IN JANUARY 😭 AND I'M THINKING ABT MY DRESSES AND ALL. And I've been a little crazy abt traditional and ethnic clothes rlly, like yesterday me and my mum were acting like besties on a girl's night fr, we took out so many clothes and tried em in, she made me wear a saree 😭 AND IT LOOKED SO GOOD LOKE SAREE TRULY GIVES AN ELEGANT AND RICH LOOK, i felt like those 1920s rich mistresses. I mostly wear Western clothing, like only ever rarely, you'll find me wearing a suit or something similar but as I'm growing up my feminine energy keeps on blossoming so i def wanna wear a suit.

Can you imagine it will be my first ever suit...my younger cousins hv worn those things so many times and I'm making my new one, progress ig.

But yeah and no my mackenyu obsession is not dying down 😃. OH ALSO ITS HOODIE SEASON FINALLY THE ONLY THING I LOKE ABT WINTERS! And forget about the present seonghwa...THE BABY SEONGHWA 😭😭 HES SO CUTE LOOL AT THOSE CHEEKS I WANNA NOM NOM 😭

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwWTt1dgpk0/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

SOMEONE SAID IT WORKS BCZ HES 11 YRS OLDER THN ME?!?! GURL 11 YRS 😭😭?!?! HOW OLD R U???

HELLLOOO!!

the long hair and the pools pics omg no bc those has me screaming at night hfkwjdlw

oooo like a gap year??? but on certificates omg ok what certificates r u doing 👁👁 marketing, sales certifications r >>> I GET IT 😭😭 need to make money in this economy can’t even breathe without having to pay

omg not the what will others say, the brown parents and the “log kya kahenge” will NEVER leave their minds god damnit,,, tell ur mom gap years r a good decision 😭😭😭 !!!!! travel, live a little and idk start a small business or a job! no ur right, if it turned out this way it means it’s meant to be done this way <3 FUCK YOUR RELATIVES RESPECTFULLY i can’t believe it’s still the same mindset in every brown parent’s mind 😭😭

STOPPPP I HWVE BEEN TOO I WAS JUST HUMMING TO IT AND DOING THE DANCE STEP (have not watched jawan yet!) SUCH A CATCHY SONG???? SRK DOING IT AGAIN,,, omg oneus ive not heard abt them in a WHILE

ooooo ive only heard the part that replays on ig = the chorus so in that sense i grew to like it ive been doing the dance to it that “u know how i like it girrrrlll” part kdvwmcjclikc I DIDNT LISTEN TO JACKS PWRT IM AFRAID ITLL RUIN IT FOR ME FBWKDJKW LMFAOOOO honestly i don’t mind,, i do hope his album has lil different genres, pop, dance, r&b, reggaeton etc excited for it actually!!

hmm so i get the whole “ur a kpop idol pls maintain a image” but honestly it’s not that bad??? it’s a creative choice and it’s a form of dance that’s on the more provocative side?? but u know what i do dislike, those toilets they have in the men’s washroom at crazy house that are a WOMENS MOUTH STRUCTURE. if it’s seen as an empowering thing, i completely disagree with it

but again, idk the issue but i also get why knetizens r talking abt it bc asia is quite conservative to these things so they find it weird and all and prefer to keep it under wraps UNLIKE THEIR MEN THAT GO SEE IT SO FJWKDJKW ur right,, if any other man did it (they literally do it w the stage outfits some of them wear) they’d get 100k likes and praises but when it’s blackpink and blackpink esp it’s suddenly a big controversy

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA STOP THIS IS SO EXCITING I LOVE TALKING ABT TRADITIONALS FJWKDJKWHSKS stop the 10/10 mom daughter bonding moment omg i do this w my mom like thrice a week and get to wear her wedding clothes and jewelry!! STOP NOT HER BRINGING THE SAREES OUT AAAAAAAAAAAAA A 90’S MISTRESS??? 😩 UR MAKEUP BETTER BE THE UNAPPROACHABLE ONE W THOSE JHUMKASS STOP IT

omg ur turning into a women, i used to be like that too (partially bc we never have events for me to wear them at) but it’s so comforting and feminine-y to pick out fabrics and jewelries and matching outfits for weddings 😭😭😭 ur turning into a women omg <33333 but omf lmk i will rec u stores to buy clothes from and ur gonna gate keep them 🔫

STOP THOSE CHEEKS STOP IT IM GONNA BITE

link no.

11 YEARS?? ELEVEN YEARS???? WHAT THE FUCK????? ANON UR A CHILD WHY R U HERE …. he’s 4 years older than me 😭😭

[aesthetic-lillie]

a long ramble so skip if ud like

anyways was on twitter and i saw a post abt transitioning before 18 and how lucky it is to be able to do that and like. yeah. honestly im surprised i even got T a few months after turning 18 bc it feels like a stroke of luck

my first endo? asked my mom if "there were any signs as a child" thank god my sister was there cause my mom claimed "no there wasnt" like girl. u had to bribe me into wearing a dress or skirt. i started covering up my chest in middle school and wearing baggy shirts/sweaters bc i hated my chest. i used to hide my hair in a hat bc i thought it was so "interesting" that ppl would mistake me as a guy like??? the closet was made of GLASS. anyways that endo went on to recommend puberty blockers still,,,, when i was 16 and already went thru puberty,,,,, anyways! forever a bit peeved abt that certain endo bc she didnt give the proper info for getting T also i remember like. reaching out to planned parenthood and another place and they just. either straight up did not give me an appointment or they cancelled on me with no heads up abt it (i sobbed abt that cause. what the FUCK)

anyways. it was lucky that my next (and current) endo was like "u got a support group or net? u got diagnosed? cool get a blood lab done and see me in a month." she was so real for that.

but yeah ill admit im privileged to have a parent willing to like. help me get therapy despite the stigma in our culture. but yeah my heart goes out for everyone who cant start hrt due to any reason

honestly the only thing im kind of nervous abt is encountering my father cause like,,, why is that homewrecker trying to start contact with me D: ,,,,, sir,,, go back to being a deadbeat u were more fun that way

LMFAO SORRY but like???? i thought he was gonna piss off after i graduated cause like. u literally said "oh ok i dont have to pay child support anymore" and then only offered,,,, $100 for college,,,, for a pencil or notebook,,, erm,,,, anyways hes kind of funny in a pathetic way cause??? why wld i want to fly to another country with u??? absolute clown behavior

[pegasusknightsonly]

now that im at endgame i want to quickly run through my team and what i learned about awakening luna playing it again after seven or so years

what i learned:

i used WAY too many units. nice as it was to have a full second gen trip the late game it was not really feasible without a lot of grinding

its generally better to play aggressive than defensive on maps, even if it means you're not using pair up so you have better action economy. chapter 4 and chapter 9 were really tough until i went all out with the aggression.

myrmidon might actually be good in Luna bc avo+10 becomes really really good when it's cancelling out a whole bunch of hit+10s. this does not fix lon'qu's bulk issues.

map skirmishes blocking useful shops are the fucking devil and not something you can do anything about other than wait until you hit endgame. really annoying feature

DLC doesn't scale to game difficulty!! that's fun

weapon forging is my new best friend

van/ven is still ABSOLUTELY broken and Owain hard carried my team through several maps

and my thoughts on my team!!

Robin - i actually think i fucked up by second sealing at twenty instead of promoting? armsthrift is nice and i wanted it for Morgan's inheritance but robin fell off really really hard by the midgame and i never got him back so it would have been nice to have rally spectrum available when that happened. ultimately that was ok for me bc unlike the luna guides will tell you i was not solely relying on robin for the front lines but oof he fell off harder than Fred

Chrom - Chrom is Chrom. not much to say there. he didn't get to see a lot of combat early which kind of worked out in my favour bc it meant he was still in lord in chapter 12 and gave Sumia some HUGE effective dual strikes with his rapier. it might actually be worth delaying his first class change to get that?? as usual i went archer -> bow knight and he was great in both. rally skill is actually really good to have on a non-combat unit in later maps where everything has so much speed and avo, it definitely made the difference for Nah a couple of times

Sumia - MVP. oh my god she was so good. i had to grind Olivia anyway so i ran her through great knight and although i don't want her to see any enemy phase combat at this point it has been really helpful to have her fly in, kill something annoying with a luna proc and fly out again to physic or rescue. rally speed has been really helpful as well! i had to do a little hand holding with her in chapter two but early investment pays off so well and i can't think of another unit who can transition from frontliner to support as well as she can. love her.

Fred - when people say awakening luna is unplayable without using Fred are they like. are they just bad at the game? don't get me wrong he was fine but imo the Fred carry/Robin carry meta really only is true until chapter 3 which is... not long, and definitely not long enough for Fred to have the kind of reverence he has in Luna meta. idk. he was fine! i had to finagle a bit to get him and Olivia married which was a pain but then it was nice being able to give Olivia extra move via pairup in the late game.

Olivia - i normally bench her after getting the kids when i play hard bc galeforce is just better than dancing and she becomes a liability with the ambush reinforcements so it was kind of novel to still be deploying her in the valm arc, even though that was mostly just to dance Sumia so i had two actions worth of healing. i had to do a LOT of grinding with DLC to get her galeforce for inheritance which was pretty painful and her stats were never that good. dance utility for my healer has been pretty nice!

Sully - i probably shouldn't have used her and shouldn't have given her the resources that normally go to wyvern Panne but i LIKE her and she did really really well in chapter 12 after she promoted and got lance access back. Gaius s support is solid but those first few levels before reclassing were really difficult because her bases are just so low. if awakening luna slightly bumped up everyone's bases it would be a joy to play.

Panne - it says a lot about how good wyvern Panne is that i brought her back in to the team way too late and she not only kept up but then outperformed Sully who'd had so much more investment. brokenly good unit and by the time i got Yarne she had late game worthy stats. the lack of galeforce kind of hurts as does her weapon ranks - she was stuck using bronze axes for so, so long - but yeah. good unit. believe the hype.

Nowi - i have really mixed feelings about Nowi's performance because it was just. so painful. her bases do not get bumped enough and at the start everything was doubling her and her awful 18HP. speed issues continued for a long long time but she eventually kind of pulled it together. a bit. not sure I'll do this again

Vaike and Lon'qu - mostly they were used to produce Nah and Yarne respectively but they were ok!! really solid backpacks. Vaike's stats were toilet tier for a long long time but he got there eventually. lon'qu loved dual striking for panne so much it got her in trouble a couple of times. it's good that they can support each other as well!

Gregor and Miriel - i put so much into Miriel lmao i love her. woteva. she was fine, bulk and survivability issues but that's pretty standard for Miriel. i also had trouble with her critting things i did not want critted. Gregor got so little investment i actually felt kind of bad for him. i promoted him after like... one or two levels worth of dual striking experience but i probably should've done it sooner

Lissa and Libra - early promotion to get Lissa tomefaire (mostly from rescue staff abuse) was worth it! really solid performance from both of them and Lissa had decent offenses on her galeforce grind. i wish I'd used Libra as a frontliner more but ultimately Lissa needed more exp than him and that's how it worked out, but it felt like a missed opportunity bc Libra in luna is really, really good.

Sumia!Lucina - i was worried about her stats on recruitment but she's been really really good and had some fantastic survivability thanks to her aether procs. great unit, does everything she needs to. i ran her through great lord for rfk + rapier access and that worked pretty well! her final class was between bow knight and paladin but surprisingly paladin has better overall stats and she didn't desperately want anything from bow knight. i don't think i would want to do anything dramatically different with her

Chrom!Cynthia - BEAST. BEAST. BEAST. ALL OVER THE SHOP

Libra!Owain - my only van/ven build and boy did he do good work with it. kind of ruined a couple of maps when the computer abandoned all reason and prioritised attacking him bc he was a staff unit which was a pain but ultimately pretty recoverable. van/ven is good! van/ven owain is good!!

Gaius!Kjelle - sadly she became mostly just a pair up bot for Owain. i never quite got her offences up to scratch to get her galeforce which was a real shame. Owain appreciated the stats and a partner with flight though

Frederick!Inigo - ugh. my only real disappointment in this run. speed!! speed!!! where is his fucking speed!!!! giving him galeforce was nice and all but he can't use it very well if he can't fucking double!!!! Inigo!!!! what's going on there!!!!!! i think Fred passed down dual guard+ which is fine but ultimately inigo would've been better with either luna (the lack of offensive procs really started to hurt him) or deliverer for extra movement for Cynthia. kind of pain to level and promote. he relied on his s support with Cynthia a LOT.

Vaike!Nah - might have been a little too ambitious to want to run her through merc and hero before bringing her back to manakete but those Vaike offenses ended up really paying off. very very slow to start cooking but so good once she got going. sightly too tanky? enemies tended to avoid her on EP which wasn't helpful. her sol proc rates also need some work but overall a really solid unit and one i might bring back to hard mode or use in luna again.

Lon'qu!Yarne - I'm glad i made the decision to bring Panne back to avoid Lon'qu/Lissa. listen. i have not asked Yarne to do too much but he has done it so well and has probably contributed the most in battles for the least exp. bless him! bless his name!!! i wish Panne gave him a better class set. he could have been everything.... that said, even if my original plan of barbarian -> beserker -> griffon didn't work out due to lack of EXP he still did really well and sat in an unpromoted class until chapter 25 when i took pity on him and went to a DLC map. really solid guy.

Gregor!Laurent - i had such plans for a strong and bulky nostank with armsthrift and then it just... never happened. im sorry Laurent. i don't think i ever gave Gregor enough levels to make that work. he did ok promoting to dark knight instead of sorc to be Morgan's pair up bot but i kind of wish I'd managed to get him going. i have two forged Nosferatu in my convoy that i now can't use. whoops

Lucina! Morgan - less than 25 str or mag as a level 10 dark flier was not it. great crits, great aether procs but what the hell happened to her offensive stats. bizarre. probably not unfixable but she's going to close out the game as a rally spectrum bot. rip

Cynthia got the most MVP awards but Owain was just so, so good and Lucina did everything i needed her to. Sumia!!! she's so good!!!!! anyway i had a lot of fun with this run once i found my feet with it and i... honestly will probably finish it and immediately start another one lmao. it was fun!!!!

[rrxnjun]

stress is deff a bitch but i feel like me and stress are the same now so🤡🤡

it's the 20th of august🤭 nooo that's a bit sad that u couldn't add urs but ur still a king for adding three birthdays in there🫡

WELL I HOPE THAT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN!!🤣 whaaattt that's such a long time oh my but the fact that u still had it is jaw dropping tbh

i don't understand why middle aged women have to be so rude sometimes☹️ wait i completely forgot that accents exist oh my god now thats even worse🥲 YEYY U SHOULD ARANGE ONE IN OCTOBER AS WELL COME TO THE 5SOS SHOW WITH ME/j (i'm heartbroken i have no one to go with so i probably can't attend) (i hope this doesn't break ur heart more cuz i saw ur posts about them sorry if it does☹️☹️hope i didn't cross a line with this joke☹️)

NOT TELLING ANYONE🫢 i look up to u for that cuz i'm still pretty much unable to do i suck💔 SO TRUE THE BEST DESCRIPTION I HEARD OF THEM JUST SOME GUYS!! i was so sad when yedam and mashiho left and i understand the soft spot he is such a lovely guy🥹 being a treasure stan is fun and a heartbreak but glad u admit now that ur a teume 🥲😌 ofc ofc we are sharing😵‍💫 HE IS SUCH A MENACE AND ITS SO FUNNY tbh he was the reason why i came back to tumblr cuz i wanted to see more content and things about him then i ran into the same problem as u that there are not that many writers in the fandom here tbh (or i just can't find them)💔 (sooo if u end up writing something for jihoon i will be waiting🫣)

IT SHOULDNT BREAK UR HEART IM SORRY IT WAS A CRY IN A POSITIVE WAY!!! i think it just means u portray emotions well (?) cuz every time there is a good sad scene in movies or books i just have to fight the tears back even when i was in a good mood before💔 AND THANK U FOR BEING AN AMAZING WRITER AND JUST BEING LOVELY AND READING MY LONG ASS REPLIES LMAO U ARE JUST TOO NICE OF A PERSON💖💕💝 (liebestraum anon💕)

omg 20th august is such a good bday to have im noting it down!!! 😌😌

IT IS the fic was originally supposed to be a part of collab but the writer deactivated and cancelled it but when i asked if i can keep the idea they were ok with it!! so yeah hopefully one day 💓

LOOK lets go to the concert together 😭😭 im like,, half serious and half joking 😭😭😭 i keep telling my mum about it and like the bus tickets to budapest are only 7€ and then i can find a cheap hotel and shit and i have money saved for the tickets 😭😭😭 like. budapest is objectively the closest stop to me ((even tho im still salty there is no vienna then i would go for sure) and i wanted to visit anyway 😌 but my mum doesnt wanna go w me and my dad doesnt either and i have no friends that would wanna go w me either and i am not allowed to go alone so. theres that 😭😭 i dont think ill get to go tbh im still kinda heartbroken but oh well its not the first time :// if i didnt live in such a shitty ass place this would all be easier 😭

girl i think its a miracle tbh but i got the names down. thanking my hyperfixation tendencies 💓💓💓 when i saw it i was so shocked tbh and now i keep getting sad mashidam edits on my tiktok fp and living through the pain LMAO. GIRL my crush on jihoon is getting out of control like genuinely what the fuck is happening to me- WHY IS TEUMEBLR SO DRY THO WHERE ARE THE FICS ??? i found like 3 fics and the rest are like 2 years old headcanon posts its such a struggle 😭😭 do i really have to do everything myself on this site.... (dont feed my delusions but give it a few months and if i dont fall out of them i can see myself creating a seperate treasure blog.....got a jihoon drabble idea the other day but. i will contain myself. so far he's the new main side character of the mark fic im writing 🥴)

awh you are too sweet 😭😭😭😭 thank u so so much !!!! this means the whole world to me 💓 once again was happy to hear from u, hope youre doing well ily xx

[tendomichiko]

Fireflies

-a childe x gn reader fic! ft. zhongli

- angst

- this is my first time writing a fic so pls excuse me if my writing sucks😅

"good morning, childe!" you said with a smile, walking towards the tall man who was now getting ready for an adventure of a day.

"good morning, love." his voice was obviously showing no interest, but you shrugged it off anyway thinking that he was exhausted with all his harbinger work.

"you got any plans today?" you asked, trying to lift up the silent vibe that was surrounding you both.

his eyes suddenly lit up in excitement , "yes i do! me and the traveler are going around liyue today!" he ended with a smile.

ah yes. the traveler. you couldn't help but be jealous of her. the traveler lumine who was always admired by everyone and everywhere she went, lumine was perfect in every way.

your lover always told you about her and his adventures everyday, and you seem to notice that she's a nice person indeed. but of course, you can't seem to brush off the jealousy you always felt when you realized that he spent more time with her than you.

you shaked your head trying to interrupt your inner thoughts , "is there anything wrong?" he asked with a slight hint of worry in his eyes.

"oh no, not at all," you smile weakly in response, handing him the newly sewn jacket that was in your hands.

"thank you, my love. to make it up to you, let's go on a date tomorrow tuesday!" childe exclaimed and was about to wrap his arms around your waist until he realized that you were frozen in place.

"hey, you okay?"

fuck. "it's already monday fuck fuck fuck." the voice inside your head panicked. you may ask, what's wrong with monday? it's all wrong because today, was the day that you were going to die.

yes, die.

monday was the day in where you were going to turn into thousands of little light particles that reminded you so much of fireflies.

as far as you can remember your ancestors were cursed with this uncurable "sickness" due to them not obeying the creator god's rule in the past.

your dad also died from this "sickness" along with his other siblings. they said that only the ones with a kind heart will get to live for 25 years and vanish from this world. which explains why your mother and bothers are rude as hell.

and yes, you didn't tell childe about this. you didn't want him to worry about you. but now you were going to tell him so he can cancel all his plans with the traveler and so you can spend your last day with him.

"here goes nothing i guess." your inner voice spoke.

he raised an eyebrow on you when he saw your eyes painted with tears , readying themselves to fall down your cheek.

"childe, actually today-" you were interrupted by a knock on the door. you saw his eyes lit up from happiness and hurriedly wiped your tears and hugged you tight,

"that must be the traveler! im sorry but, just continue what you want to say later!" he let out a boyish grin, and opened the door to reveal a gorgeous blonde haired girl with a flying talking object beside her.

they all smiled at you informing that they were taking their leave but you couldn't help but break down when they left.

"but what if there's no later...?" you mumbled weakly, while your knees were on your chest.

you knew that he's definitely losing interest in you and is already taking a liking for the traveler and you think that he can't tell you because you know that he's afraid to hurt you.

you wiped your tears and remembered the way childe looked at her, it was the same look he gave you when you were both dating for the first time.

so you decided to follow them secretly and you did. it was very surprising that you didn't get caught in action while spying on them, "a little spying won't hurt right?"

but dear archons, you knew you shouldn't have spyed on them.

because you saw childe and the traveler hugging each other and exchanging kisses, while they were laughing at the floating object that was trying to fish

"this is fun, ajax! we should do this more often!"

ajax...? how can she call childe by his real name but you... can't.

your heart shattered into millions of pieces. you were right. he did love her.

tears started to fall and you couldn't help but sob loudly. but before they could hear you, you ran away as far as possible.

you didn't know where to go anymore, but you suddenly remember one person,

the person who was always there for you, the person who protects you and takes care of you.

zhongli.

you ran and ran to the wangsheng funeral parlor, when you arriver you opened the doors to reveal a zhongli that was peacefully drinking tea.

his eyes averted to the door, but in the second he saw tears running through your face, he immediately ran to you and engulfed you in a warm hug.

"what's wrong, y/n? did someone hurt you?" he worriedly asked, while caressing your hair.

"i- i- t-t-traveler ch-childe..." you couldn't speak properly and your voice was muffled since you were basically buried in his chest.

hours passed and you told zhongli about everything you saw and about your last day, and oh boy he was beyond furious of childe.

the night was coming by as he held your hand, dragging you outside of the funeral parlor.

"i guess you're going to be a customer of mine tomorrow." he chuckled with a hint of sadness, while you laughed and leaned on his shouler while you were both walking to a certain destination with hands intertwined.

"i wonder what childe is doing right now." you mumble, as zhongli stopped his tracks making you stop too, "let's... stop thinking about him, shall we? let's just enjoy our last moments together." he smiled.

it was now very late night and the day was about to end minutes from now. childe was now going in your shared home bidding his goodbyes with the traveler by giving her a short peck followed by a smile.

"y/n! im home!" he exclaimed, but it was oddly silent. he knew that you always waited for him to come home no matter what time it was... but you were just asleep, right? he thought to himself. he then went to your shared room but he was only greeted with a tidy room with no one inside.

he already searched through the whole house and still didn't find any trace of you. his stomach dropped, and his face was starting to sweat with worry, he hurriedly went to the kitchen to find notes since you always left him notes in the kitchen whenever you left by yourself.

"there it is." he smiled with relief while wiping his sweat and picked up the note that was laying on top of the table.

"i love you"

those were the only words in the letter. his eyebrows sticked together trying to understand what it meant. he was terrified but he didn't know why.

childe then flipped the letter to see if there was something left, there really was.

"but you, love her"

his heart dropped, you knew.

he quickly ran outside of the house and went to the place that you always went to.

the ginger was already formulating an apology in his mind while running with such speed.

he found you, hugging another man while fireworks were decorating the night sky.

childe immediately recognized that it was zhongli, but he immediately froze when he saw you crying in the other man's embrace.

he knew it was over for him when you caught a glimpse of him. his whole world stopped when he saw your face, he didn't know what to do what to say.

then the dark haired man saw you and signalled you to take his place.

"zhongli no-" he shushed you.

"he's the one who deserves to spend your last night with, not me." he smiled softly.

your last night...? no way, this can't be real right?

you smile when zhongli kisses your head and let's go of your embrace.

childe immediately hugs you and buries his face on your neck you knew that he was already crying since you felt your neck get wet,

"hey y-y/n, what did he mean by your last night?" his voice was shaky and muffled.

"im dying, childe."

"why didn't you tell me?" his voice was showing a hint of desperation , he needed an answer to why you didn't tell him.

"would you even care if i told you? i was about to tell you earlier but your lovely traveler interrupted and you didn't even make me continue."

"but i said was going to make it up with you tomorrow i-"

"there's no tomorrow childe, no tomorrow for me to be exact."

"plus, i know you two have been dating behind my back..." you weakly smiled and cupped childe's face, giving him the last kiss you can give him.

"i-im sorry y/n, p-pl-please forgive me just don't go please!!" he hugged you tightly.

"take care of her, okay?" you kissed him one last time.

"n-no please you're the only one i love!!"

"it's too late now..." you sobbed in his embrace, "im also sorry for being the worst girlfriend ever!!"

"n-no!!"

you both were now in a sobbing mess as the fireworks were on a beautiful rampage.

"it's time now..." you lifted your head to face your lover.

"thank you zhongli," your faced the tall man who bowed at you and gave him a smile.

"and i love you, ajax."

his eyes widened when he heard you say his real name, and it made him want to make you stay more. but he knew he was too late when he saw your whole body slowly fading away with lights that also reminded him of fireflies.

he hugged you tightly one last time, "i love you too, y/n..."

and you were completely gone in his embrace.

he broke down on his knees and started sobbing uncontrollably while the tall dark haired man smiles, walking away and mumbles to himself,

"see you later, creator."