#anyway apparently because of art with her fighting one of her band mates people thought that she was aggressive and so the fandom decided to

[the-name-is-loser]

Finding out odd things in the Splatoon fandom

[kvjff-blog]

Joshua Ojonuba

Professor Robert Lunday

ENGL 1301

10 October 2019

The Beautiful Game

Two sprained wrists, at least four ankle sprains, couple of cuts and at least a dozen splinters: those are just some of my injuries over the last six or so years of playing competitive soccer. My injuries are on the minor side as many others suffer worse injuries that often require surgeries and months of physical therapy. Professional soccer is played by approximately two hundred and fifty million players in over two hundred countries and dependencies all around the world, making it the world's most popular sport. This does not include the millions more who play for fun, in semi pro clubs, and in amateur leagues all across the world. It would be almost impossible to imagine the amount of injuries they sustain as well as the extent of them. Seeing as the consequences and pain are so substantial, the question as to why so many people like myself play and get influenced by this sport on such a grand scale. The answer is: I don’t know, I don’t think anyone know to be fair. We all just play no matter the cost; the game is all. I remember reading an article about Ada Hegerberg, who is regarded as one of if not the best women’s soccer players alive. In the article she was asked why she even played since she had opted to sit out the women’s world cup for her country. She responded, "Playing football can be damn harsh, but every day is a fight.” reading this the first time I thought to myself, if it is as harsh as you say why not just quit playing? As I look back now I am able reflect on her statement, and I realize that we are similar. Never once while I played did I think about quitting, through the many injuries, through the long draining practices, through the failures and let downs, I fought through. Like Ada and many others I kept on going necessarily because I wanted to but more so because I had to; quitting never seemed like an option as least not one that crossed my mind.

Soccer has been a major factor in my life probably ever since I was a little baby especially after experiencing the major soccer atmosphere in Lagos, Nigeria, where I was born and raised. In fact my earliest memory of the sport was maybe in 2006 during the world cup. It was the qualification stages against Angola, and Nigeria desperately needed a win to qualify for the most famous and prestigious tournament in all of sporting history. When I was a kid in Nigeria, power outages were extremely common as Nigeria was and still is going through a power supply crisis. So it came as no surprise when suddenly in the middle of the game there was a power outage. Because this was an everyday occurrence we had a phase for it - “down nepa”, and when the lights would come back up we would yell “up nepa”. I had never witnessed a sense of community like I saw that day. As soon as the power went out, we immediately rushed out to the industrial generator out back like we always do. After about five minutes of tussling with the generator, struggling, trying to get it started, there was finally a spark visible through the window of the back room. By this time there had been a crowd formed behind us, seemingly the entire neighborhood was behind us cheering at the sight of light. Apparently we were the only household with enough gasoline to power their generator. “Ta lo fe wo ball”, my aunt said in her native Yoruba; she was asking who was ready to watch some ball or football. Which brings me to the question of why it’s called soccer in the U.S.A instead of football like it is everywhere else in the world, it’s like Americans always have to one up everyone else; anyway, I digress. Seeing as we were the only household with power and our TV was definitely not big enough for the magnitude of people that had now gathered expecting a game of soccer. Luckily one of the families in the neighborhood had a flat screen which in retrospect could not have been very big but it was definitely bigger than anything we or anyone within maybe the next three miles did. With our always reliable generator and the newly found TV, we were all ready to witness Nigeria do us proud and make it to the world cup for another year in a row. Even though the rest of the game was boring and disappointing with Nigeria losing one to zero to an admittedly much stronger and experienced squad in Angola, the moment of community and coming together is what makes it a memorable. Year after year, game after game, support poured in from all over the neighborhood. Nigeria vs. Ghana, Nigeria vs. Argentina, Nigeria vs. Brazil, Nigeria vs. Mexico, every lost seemly just as enjoyable as a win. These are the memories that I’ll keep forever, the memories of love, joy, peace and innocence during a time that would otherwise be considered bad or at the very least not ideal.

There is a famous quote that I along with numerous other soccer fans have heard that goes “you play soccer anywhere, you play soccer everywhere” the phase actually says “football” but for the purposes of this we’ll say soccer. The game is simple, right? Score and do not get scored on. The Truth is: yes, it is simple; but the difficult part is what’s left unsaid, the little things that make the game just so beautiful. The buildup, the passionate moments, the joy, the rivalries; these are all things that every fan and player all across the world can relate to. They have been numerous stories of soccer saving communities and bringing people together because as they say no matter how you’re raised or what culture you subscribe to, just like people are people soccer is soccer always. I remember reading a story about one of my favorite soccer players ever, Didier Drogba; unfortunately people from Africa are used to hearing stories of and even experiencing war or civil unrest. Even with him being from the Ivory Coast, where they had gone through extreme civil unrest, he was always representing his home country. "Come to Abidjan, Alex. You will not be disappointed.” he was quoted as saying to a reporter asking about his native country.   Civil war had been happening for five years in the ivory coast when, right after leading his nation to the 2006 World Cup finals in Germany back in October 2005, he picked up a microphone given to him by a reporter in the dressing room and, surrounded by his team-mates, he fell to his knees live on national television. He begged both fighting sides to lay down their guns and, within a week, his wish had been granted. "It was just something I did instinctively," he said. "All the players hated what was happening to our country and reaching the World Cup was the perfect emotional wave on which to ride." Didier Drogba proved exactly what I have been saying about the power and passion soccer brings into the lives of its fans. In front of everyone in the world and his native people, he got on his knees and pleaded for peace. I can’t think of any other sports that could possibly do that, five years of deadly civil war, ended just like that. As a fellow African watching this unfold on TV, this further inspired me as well as other young African kids to play.

In 2011, when I moved to Houston, I went from merely watching soccer being played to actually playing it. Besides the occasional after school sessions of just the kicking of a peeled over leathery ball, I was never able to fully experience the true essence of the sport. Because not only was it hard to find a suitable environment to play but finding a ball was also almost always impossible as well. Going into middle school I knew that although we did not have a proper team I wanted to be a soccer player, if not professional (I knew at this point I surely could not be a professional player) then at least I could be competitive within the local club or school scene. After I somehow survived three long years in middle school without a sport to play it was finally high school and I would get a chance to play. Quotes like Tony Adams’ - “Play for the name on the front of the shirt, and they will remember the name on the back” played back over and over in my head. At the time it almost seemed like making my high school JV b team was at all comparable to the years of years he spent on top of the sport.

Who is Tony Adams, you may ask? Well my dear, dear reader, Tony Adams is without a doubt the best captain arsenal football club has ever seen in all its 133 years of being a top tier team.  He was not only one of the reasons I became an arsenal fan but he influenced almost every part of my soccer career. I found myself studying almost everything he did in his prime, looking to emulate even the slightest bit of success from his greatness. I guess looking back now I think it’s clear to me that I desperately wanted to become someone better than I was. Someone more confident, more secure, maybe even just someone different than I was. I essentially tried copying every aspect of his playing style, even incorporating his celebrations as well. If I’m being honest I still sometimes have that feeling of wanting to be someone else other than myself, although not as much as I used to. Honestly I believe playing competitively really forced me to legitimately discover who I was and be comfortable as myself. That being one of many reasons why I would recommend everyone participating in some kind of sport or physical activity. Not to mention the atmosphere and relationships I created along the way.

I find that there is a certain unique sense of community with soccer that just isn’t present in any other activity on the planet, or at least not one I have participated in. Now I do not claim to be some sort of super athletic multi-sport champion but I have played my share of sports and been in quite a few communities. I have played basketball and football, been involved in concert band, art club and even science club. In my humble opinion, in terms of love and support expressed in each community they all pale in comparison to this beautiful beautiful game. In fact the only good comparison that I’ve found seems to be within the jujutsu and kickboxing community which oddly enough is less violence orientated as you would think by just taking a glance in. predictably I have been enjoying the martial arts mainly for the community to the point where it has begun to be almost a religion like soccer was and still is.

Soccer or football (as it’s more commonly called in other countries) is of course a way of life in almost every country all over the world, but more than that I would say it is a religion of sorts. The U.S. is one of the very few places soccer is not hallowed so it is perfectly understandable that some people do not understand the extent of the love people have for this sport. This is the part where I would try drawing a connection to another sport, American football or baseball maybe? Truth is I would hesitate to compare soccer worldwide to any sport as a matter of fact, not just popular American sports. In my experience American football and baseball defiantly have an extremely loyal fan base, but the fans are naturally fickle at times even sometimes changing and switching over between teams. However soccer fans, real soccer fans at least, are often born into their respective team and stay loyal all the way till death. Just like any other religion switching over to another religion (or club in this case) is highly frowned upon and potentially even dangerous. Like most all religions throughout the history mankind, intense rivalries are an ever present theme usually dependent on proximity to the rival club as well as any minor disagreements that may or may not have occur somewhere buried deep in the history of both clubs. As an arsenal fan, of course I despise our rival club, the Tottenham Hotspur, although I will admitted that there are a couple of Tottenham players I enjoy watching and sometimes even root for. I think the first time I ever thought of soccer as like a religion was when I randomly ran into a you tube video comparing Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, two players widely considered two of the best to ever play. The video creator spends the beginning portion of the video comparing both their stats for the past 12 years as well as their respected following. He then goes on for what seemed like eternity talking about sportsmanship and how well they have both individually represented the sport. Finally, at the end of the video, he comes up with the conclusion that although the two players are absolutely the best to ever lace up their boots and step onto the field, Messi is the greatest. In his words, “Messi in all his glory is the God of football, with Ronaldo sharing his glory as Jesus or Muhammad”. This seems to have stuck in my subconscious, only revealing itself now after a couple of years after going mainly unnoticed by me at the time.

Before I started writing this memoir I would have never thought that I had this much to say about soccer especially since it is not as much a part of my life as it’s been in the past. I guess in a lot of ways I have changed and evolve into what I would consider a better, more self-actualized version of myself. With that being said, I think it makes sense that soccer isn’t as important to me; it has served its purpose in my life and I’m sure it will continue to. I am forever grateful to this beautiful game and all the wonderful memoirs it brought into my life.      

 Afterword.

The honest truth is at the beginning of this memoir I was not really going to try as hard as I maybe could have. I was procrastinating, only waiting till the last minute to finish each installments that was due. I think I was thinking about it just as a class project I just had to get done instead of an interest project. After the turning in the first installment of this memoir and getting back the feedback, I began using my free time to write and combine the texts. It is amazing how much I've retained over my many years of playing and watching soccer. it was really interesting bringing back the memories and ideas I had lodged somewhere in my mind. I think by actually caring about this project and the subject, I was able to not only dive deeper but also articulate better.    

[fanfictionformost-blog]

Drunk Imagine CATB

Van: You had been drunk around Van before but never this drunk, you were absolutely wasted and all you wanted to do was cuddle. “I’m lonely” You said a little too loudly. “I’m right here and everyone else we know is inside! how can you be lonely at a house party?” Van asked through his tipsy sounding laughter. “I don’t know... but I am! Love me!” You slurred your words and then practically body slammed Van while rapping him in a huge hug. Van quickly braced himself and managed to hold you up in a tight embrace. You stood like that for a while resting your whole weight on Van before you spoke again, “Kiss my head please.” You mumbled into Van’s chest. He did just as you asked and placed a soft kiss to your temple. You let out a long comfortable sigh then you spoke again, “Okay now tell me you love me.” You looked up at Van expectedly. “Of course I love you!” Van laughed. “I know I just really want to hear it right now, I’m a needy drunk.” You told Van through a cheeky grin. He simply kissed your temple again and then said “I love you, i love you, I love you! Your the queen of my world.” Suddenly you felt all of Van’s love hit you at once, It felt warm and overwhelming but in a good way. You couldn't help but tear up a bit. “Oh no, whats this? No tears.” Van said while wiping your cheeks. “I’m just so happy... and a little drunk.” You told him before hiding your face in his chest. “Just a little?” he asked with a laugh. “Yeah just a little.” You said while looking Van directly in the eyes as thought that might make him believe you. “What ever you say my love.” Van said while shaking his head. “Lets dance!” you yelled suddenly pulling away from Van and losing your balance. Before you fell Van snuck an arm around your middle and pulled you back into his loving grasp. “You cant even stand! How are we supposed to dance?” Van asked. “I don’t know, maybe we can just sway?” you suggested. Van began to sway bringing your relaxed body with his, “This is really nice.”You said softly. “It is but people are going to start to wonder why were still outside” Van told you when he realized how long you had been there, you said you were only going out for a smoke. “let them wonder” You said drowsily, Van’s movement was starting to rock you to sleep. “Your tired, lets get you home and to bed.” Van  said as he stopped moving. You whined a little in protest of his idea but the you followed him back into the party to say goodbye. If you were more in your right mind you would have fought Van and tried to get him to keep swaying with you for a while longer, but you were fading fast. Laying drunkenly in bed didn't sound so bad right about now. So you just continued to follow Van all the way to your shared home where you happily passed out in your warm bed being held by Van.

Bondy: It had been a long and terrible day, you got in a huge fight with your parents about your choice to move in with your boyfriend. They didn’t think it was a good idea and they made you feel quite cheep when you told them you were going to do it anyway. “I’m disappointed in you Y/N! I raised you better then this! What you ought to do is come home and start over here. You have wasted enough time running around with that boy and his silly band!” You shut down completely when he said “What you ought to do” That always pissed you off. The conversation ended with your father telling you not to call again until you changed your mind. You hung up the phone feeling completely defeated, You threw your phone across the room, “Fuck!” you yelled. You thought about calling Bondy when you picked your phone you found it had broken when you threw it. You let out a long sigh and then began to cry, You didn’t know what to do with yourself, So you just decided to get drunk. Bondy wouldn’t be home for a few hours you thought so you might as well stay busy with a little bit of wine. You grabbed your first bottle of wine and made your way to the living room. By time Bondy got home you were half way into your second bottle. Bondy walked into your home to find music blasting and an empty wine bottle tipped over on the counter. “Y/N? did you start the party with out me?” Bondy called out with a laugh. When you didn’t answer he started to search the house for you. “Y/N oh Y/N! Where art though?” He called out again but this time in a posh voice. Once again you didn’t answer , “Okay I guess I will have to just come and find you then.” Bondy yelled before stepping into the living room where you sat drinking straight off the bottle. “Woah, no glass? Whats the occasion?” Bondy asked poking a little fun at your current state. You shrugged in response before taking another big gulp of wine. Bondy was still oblivious to your mood so he walked over you where you sat and planted a big kiss right on your lips, when you didn’t kiss back Bondy was finally tipped off to your less then sweet mood. “Okay, whats wrong?” he asked sounding serious now. The question made you break down, you started bawling, in between sobs you told Bondy what your father had said. “He doesn’t even want to talk to me anymore, he said not to call until I change my mind.” You were hardly able to get the words out. “Shh its okay love, your dads just being a prick. I’m sure he will come around and if he doesn’t who needs him... I will be your new daddy.” Bondy said the last part playfully while wiggling his eyebrows trying to make you laugh. You did laugh but through tears. “That would really piss my dad off, I should start calling you daddy.” apparently drunk you was a little petty. “Alright then baby girl give daddy a kiss.” Bondy said. “eww I hate that! “ You laughed out no longer crying. “Oh don’t be like that sweet girl, daddy needs some love!” Bondy told you before leaning in for a kiss. You quickly stood up and drunkenly ran from Bondy, “Never! No love for daddy!” You yelled over your shoulder. Bondy hopped up and chased after you, he caught up in just a few seconds because he was sober unlike you. When he caught you he hugged you from behind and kissed the side of your face all over. “You gonna be okay?” He whispered in your ear. “Yeah I guess ill make it, With a little help from daddy that is.” you said the last part with a giggle. “okay good! Daddy needs to catch up now.” Bondy said while walking over to the bottle you left on the floor. Your terrible night turned into a lovely night with a little wine and lot of Bondy.

Benji: When you first met Benji you were completely smashed. You were over at your fiends house having a girls night when her boyfriend called and asked if he and a couple of his band mates could  come over, your friends said yes without a second thought. “Y/BF/N! No this is girls night! plus this wine is starting to kick my butt.” You said laughing when you got to the last part. Too late they are on there way, here have some more wine it will calm you nerves.” Y/BF said while handing you another full glass of wine. You rolled your eyes then took the drink. You figured you were already in this far in so whats another glass gonna hurt. It turns out one more glass could do some damage, you went from comfortably drunk to really really drunk. Like overly friendly, clingy, say whatever is on your mind drunk. Just before the boys got there you realized you really were too drunk to be meeting people, When the knock on the door came your nerves were in full effect. “Hey babe.” Van your friends boyfriends said as he walked over to her and placing a kiss on her forehead. “Hello my dear, this is my best friends in the whole world Y/N.” Your friend told the room. “Well its lovely to meet you Y/N, I’m Van, this is Bondy, and this is Benji.” Van said introducing the group. You tried to say “Nice to meet you all.” But your words slurred which made you laugh. “We’ve been drinking if you couldn’t tell.” your friend said before pouring herself another glass of wine. The Boys followed suit and got themselves drinks. While they were distracted by with there task at had you decided to take the opportunity to check them all out. All three of them were very good looking in your opinion, But there was something special about Benji. You could not help but stare for too long, when Benji looked up from his cup he caught you mid stare. He flashed you a big grin which made you feel absolutely weak in the knees. “Your so handsome!” you blurted out while still staring directly at Benji. “Thank you.” Benji said through a bit of laughter. “Your welcome! thanks for having that face!” you said thanking him for something he had no control over. Everyone laughed now, then Bondy whispered something to Benji. “Wanna go look at the stars with me?” You asked Benji. He looked over to Van and Bondy who quickly gestured to him to go. Your friend laughed and said “Wow! Your so bold and romantic when your drunk Y/N!” “Yeah well drunk me don’t mess around!” You told her before walking over to Benji taking him by the hand and leading him out the door to the back yard. Benji let you take his hand and followed you without complaint. As you stepped outside you heard the others laughing an saying something about how up front you were. Once you got outside you plopped yourself down onto the hammock you had pulling Benji down with you. “Woah...Okay.” Benji said while being pulled down. Now you were both laying side by side rocking slowly and looking up at the stars. “The stars are almost as pretty as you are!” You exclaimed and then rolled over onto your side so you could better look at Benji. He laughed and shook his head in response. “Lets play truth or dare!” You suggested but it came out a more of an order. “Okay, truth or dare?” Benji asked. “Dare you said confidently. “Dare right off the bat? You really don’t mess around. I dare you to... sing me your favorite song.” You had no problem carrying out this dare, without hesitation you began to sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs. Once you finished your song Benji laughed and applauded. then you asked him truth or dare. “Truth” he said. “Do you think i’m pretty?” you asked. “Yes, very.” Benji said softly as his cheeks started to go red, “Awe Your so cute!” You said as you reached out and placed a soft hand on Benji’s now red cheek.”Yeah yeah yeah, anyway truth or dare?” Benji asked trying to brush off the last question. “Truth” You said while rolling so you were leaning on Benji’s chest. “Are you going to regret this tomorrow?” Benji asked. “Only if you reject me.” You answered honestly. There was a moment of silence before you asked Benji truth or dare again, He picked dare. “I dare you to kiss me.” you told Benji. He was still for a moment just staring at you. Then he placed a gentle hand on your face and kissed you. Your game ended there, the rest of the night was spent with sloppy kisses and shared secrets. In the morning you woke up with your head on Benji’s chest and as you told Benji the night before you didn’t regret a moment of what you said or did.

Bob: Currently you were drunk out of your mind at your Best friend Bob’s house. Bob was out finishing up recording for the night and you were drinking your troubles away alone on his couch. You were in college and all the pressure was starting to get to you. You were genuinely starting to consider dropping out. You were about a fourth of the way through a bottle of rum and all you wanted to do was talk to Bob. By time you were starting to get the spins Bob walked through the door. he stepped into the living room and casually said hello to you. He was not at all surprised by your presence in his home. When you didn’t reply to his greeting he began to grow alarmed. He set down his keys and then approached you “Everything okay?” he asked cautiously. You shook your head no, you were unable to speak due to the growing wave of nausea you had in the pit of your stomach. Bob then noticed the opened bottle of rum sitting to your left and suddenly realization struck him. He reached down to help you up and said “Better get you to the toilette before you blow. You can explain the binge drinking later.” You took Bob’s help up thankfully, you felt so luck to have such and kind and helpful friend. “Thanks” You struggled to say. “Shh no need for words now, but your welcome.” Bob said while leading you to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom it didn’t take long before you were throwing up. Bob held your hair out of the way and rubbed a cool wet wash cloth on the back of your neck. When you finally finished getting sick Bob helped you up and over to the sink so you could brush your teeth. Then he led you to his bed and helped you into it. When he turned to leave you caught his hand “Please stay with me until i fall asleep” You asked. Bob happily made his way over to the other side of the bed and then sat gently down next to you with his back on the headboard. He began running a hand through your hair lulling you into a comfortable sleep. You would have to talk tomorrow cause for now you were going to sleep peacefully without thinking about the stresses of life. You could do this thanks to Bob and his calming manner. You would have to remember to thank him.

[claryaastark]

Would I love me?

062418

Isn’t it strange? To look at someone and see yourself. Not the virtual but the real image of you. Isn’t it strange? To see your thoughts on someone, to feel your emotions on someone, to see the things you admire on someone, to have a taste of your favorite food on someone. To have a sip of your favorite coffee on someone. To fight the ideas that you believe on someone. Isn’t it strange? To have a glimpse of your soul on someone, someone who isn’t you, and someone who is different from you.

Well, perhaps yes, perhaps no.

It was a very long and tiring day. I was on my way home, thinking about how bad I am on fixing the right format of my final thesis output. I really suck at revising. But instead of thinking about acads, I divert my attention into the bustling city. All I hear were the loud blasting sound of the vehicles, the gossip of two high school students on the right part of the bus. The gentle utterance of the woman in front who wears a red polo shirt with a coca-cola logo on the left side. And judging her looks, I think she is some sort of a saleswoman, maybe a manager? Or simply an employee as she talks to someone over the phone. Meanwhile, on the back part of my mind, it feels weird but I can also hear the clicking of coins as the bus’ conductor collected our fare. I hate being this meticulous and observer sometimes.

I almost throw myself in front as the driver stepped on the break. A hint, either someone will come down or someone will ride. And the latter thinking was right, a man on his mid-20s I guess? I looked away and focused myself on the street lights which are unsurprisingly blurred because of my myopia. Without looking, I felt that the man sat beside me, and for no apparent reason he pushed himself beside me. Wtf?

“You’re occupying too much seat and with the right comprehension, I regret to tell you that this seat is for two passenger, and YOU ARE OCCUPYING TOO MUCH.”

He repeated his first statement with diction and sarcasm.

“I’m sorry,” that’s all I said, I want to argue because of his reckless and improper behavior but I’m too tired to fight with an arrogant stranger.

But he rolled his eyes instead. And for the second time, I ignored his disrespectful behavior. It was a one hour ride to reach the street of our home. So I busied myself on scrolling the gallery of my phone.

“Are you okay?” He said out of nowhere.

“Huh? Me?” I said while pointing myself awkwardly.

“No, I am actually talking to myself” he said sarcastically and he rolled his eyes. For a man, this one is really arrogant.

“Uhh, I’m doing good I guess, and why do you asked?” I said awkwardly.

It was weird, after he freaked out because of the seat, he is now asking my current state like we were close or something? What’s with this man?

“Nothing, is it bad to ask? You should be thankful that I asked if you’re okay. You seem stressed and by looking at you, I can already tell that no one really cares for you, and everybody is ignoring you. Like you don’t belong anywhere”

And he laughed. He fucking laughed. First he mocked me, and now he is insulting me? Which I found very offensive. I’m dealing with too much stress right now, and I can’t even breathe properly because of so many reasons, and now, a stranger is insulting me like he knows what I’ve been dealing with? I felt a sudden pang on my chest. I am offended.

“Fuck-off” I said bravely, despite the fact that I nearly cried.

He was shocked, I can tell.

“Ooh. I’m sorry, I was just joking, and... I thought that it was the most unique way of telling sorry. I’m sorry for freaking out”

And that’s where we started. I do not know as well, what power of Gods and Goddesses had put us together. He was an arrogant man, disrespectful and talks a lot of offensive things, so am I. But I loved him anyway, and I admit, that I learned a lot of things from him. We were mainly pragmatic. He is no sweet, gentle and showy. But he was pure, sincere and mature.

But just like anyone else, he left. He came for no apparent reason, and he left for no apparent reason as well. Maybe, just maybe, on a scientific basis, what happened to us is repel. He is he and I am me, we are the same and attraction is really not working with us. I guess?

It was a normal Sunday afternoon. I was bored, and the only thing that gives me comfort during tedious times on this very dull life is : coffee. I made my way on the nearest coffee shop downtown.

The aroma of sweet vanilla and bitter cocoa welcomed me. The dream catcher that was hanging on the door had clicked, a signal that someone is making their way in or out. I look for my favorite spot, where I can peacefully sit and be drowned by the deafening silence. I ordered my favorite matcha coffee, and a piece of custard cake. I pulled the Young Adult novel series that I was reading since last week, I am on the third book of the series. It was Sarah J. Maas’ A Court of Wings and Ruin, and damn, I just love the character of the God-like Rhysand. Most of the time, I wished that I was like the protagonist or the fictional characters on books, and movies. Might at least get a happy ending despite of struggles. But the fuck, no matter how good you are on escaping reality through arts and fictions, at the end of the day, you will sleep and wake up on the bitter slap of reality.

I put my earphones on, browsed my phone and look for my favorite app, the spotify. I am no great person, but I can brag that I got a very good taste when it comes to music. I can enumerate a lot of artists, genres, bands, albums, and the likes all day if someone would let me to. Though I’m bad at singing, at least, I got a big contribution through appreciation. I got them all! I played Movements’ Feel Something, one on the lists of my Album of the Year. Then here we go, my kind of escaping shits in life. What a very peaceful moment for me.

I was sitting alone and peacefully for almost one hour, in fact, I was halfway on finishing my cake and coffee until I noticed a man who’s staring at me. I faked a cough and tilted my body on the other side, to at least stop him from staring at me. But ugh! I can see on my peripheral vision the he’s still looking at me.

“What are you staring at?” I put my book on the table, loud enough for him to hear.

I didn’t get a verbal response, instead, he pouted his lips, a sign that he was pointing on something. Then I waved my book upward.

“On the book?” I asked with irritation, he is damn lazy. Can’t he speak?

“Yup, I love Feyre since day 1, and I didn’t trust Tamlin since then, that psychopath-sex-addict-obsessed-and-pseudo-lordshit.” He said coldly.

Ohh. So he read Maas’ ACOTAR?! My irritation suddenly turned into amusement. I removed my earphones and smiled at him. I patted the seat next to me, inviting him so we can talk more about this series. I mean, it is odd, to find someone who reads the same goddamn book that you are reading. Reading is a cool interest after all.

He sat hesitantly. I pushed the lock button to see what time is it. It’s 4:35 in the afternoon.

“Woaaah, man?”

I was taken aback when he spoke.

“You listen to Movements?”

Then I forgot that the album is still playing on my spotify app. And I guess, he saw it on my lock screen. But wait...

“Yup, and you too?” I said with amusement on my voice.

“Yeah, damn same man! Patrick is a wholesome piece of shit!”

And we laughed. Those laughter turned into weeks, months and years. A stranger that I met unexpectedly, is now a person that I used to know. Again, someone left my life.

We had the same interest in almost everything, we attended a lot of book signing, book launch. We bought a lot of albums from our favorite bands. We attended concert, gigs. We watched countless movies, we drank a lot of coffees. We travelled places to taste various delicacies and kind of foods. We jogged at sunrise, and walk at sunset. We were happy. Or... should I say, we were almost happy?

It is weird but he was totally just like me. We share the same interests, we fight the same ideologies, we have the same belief in almost everything. But again, he came to me, without me, asking for it, and now he didn’t even give me a chance to ask again, to ask why he left. I loved him, and I guess, things won’t really work on the way that we want them to be. So is us. And it’s sad.

It’s almost the end.

The end of the semester. And after all the hardships, sleepless nights, frustrations, failures, we are finally wearing the black toga! It’s the graduation season.

“Congrats, B!”

It was Kat, one of my thesis group mates. I returned her congratulations with a nod and smile. I’m too lazy to speak, it still overwhelms me that I survived and finished College with a Latin honor. Not to brag though.

I’m so excited to share this to him. I smiled, my heart is beating fast as I make my way to our favorite spot : under the mango tree.

It was a peaceful and underrated spot. Underrated to the point that we’re the only people who knew this place. I guess not all accidents are bad, because I found this place accidentally, so is he.

I smiled as I saw him playing the guitar again. He seems too preoccupied that he didn’t notice my arrival. I pouted my lips then a silly idea entered my mind. I tiptoed carefully then I cover his eyes from behind. He stopped his fingers from moving along with the guitar strings, and I felt him smile.

“Uhm, since I don’t want to mess with your tricks, let me pretend that I didn’t know it was you. So, who’s this?”

He joked.

I kissed his cheeks from behind and whispered.

“Your future wife saw her name on the final list of graduates and guess what, a Cum Laude!”

“Wow! Congrats, B! I’m proud of you. You finally made it!”

He hugged me tight.

I opened my eyes with the bittersweet memory. It’s been a year since I graduated College, and it is the first time that I visited this place again. Still peaceful, the only different thing is that, the people who used to own this place, are now the people who used to know each other.

For the third time, someone left me again. He is one of the kindest persons that I know. He brings out the kindness in me. A responsible man, very family and school oriented. He’s the one who makes me realize the essence of being responsible. He taught me to appreciate little things, and the most important thing that he planted me is, I realized that I am not bad. That we’re like each other.

He used to sing me a lot of songs, he motivates me to always do better not just for myself but for my family. I was happy. We were happy. But I guess, happiness is not enough to bind people together. There are things that are more important than being in love.

And that’s my biggest realization.

The stories that I’ve told you is just a piece of a whole. I didn’t tell you the hardships, the pains, the sleepless nights that I experienced when they left. It was hard, to be left behind. With or without explanations, it was hard.

I started asking myself what’s wrong with me. I started doubting myself, I hated myself. And I started feeling afraid of taking risks. I began to wonder, do these wrong people deserve my time, invested feelings, and love?

I met a stranger on a bus, and I took a piece of him. I was an arrogant, sarcastic and disrespectful being sometimes, so is he. We were the same. I saw my bad sides in him. And I fell in love with those evil. I learned to accept that there is good in every wicked.

I met a stranger on a coffee shop. I took a piece of him. I saw myself in him. The things that I admire, my interests, my ideologies and all the stuff that makes me happy. He will always be my real life reflection.

I met a stranger under the mango tree. I took a piece of him. I saw my good sides in him. I was kind, compassionate and I realized that I really care for those people around me. He made me love my soft spots.

I always see myself in them. They are like a reflection of my different sides. It was bitter, that they made me doubt myself. They made me feel insecure for leaving me behind. They made me hate myself. But after all, it was all about me. Piece by piece, I assemble myself into whole.

Funny because, I just fell in love with myself. That they are just the representation of who I truly am, that they are me. I was the stranger in the bus. I was the stranger in the coffee shop. I was the stranger under the mango tree. Every piece of them is equal to the remnants of myself that I was trying to build.

If I were them, would I love me? And I got the answer, yes, because I just did. I fell in love with myself.

© to owner of the photos.

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[newagesispage]

                                                            JULY       2018

 PAGE  RIB

***** Pete Davidson has gotten himself engaged to Arianna Grande. He has new tattoos to prove his love.

***** The first wall was raised for the old Conklin’s barn dinner theatre in Goodfield, Illinois. After a struggle to raise money after the old barn was destroyed and a fight with the insurance company, the day has finally come. The new structure which is part of a whole new complex will open in 2019. I can’t wait!!!

***** Vikings QB, Kirk Cousins is still driving his great old van and proud of it.

***** Check out Rotten apples, a website that is a database for consumers to learn if those involved in movies or TV have allegations against them.

***** The Daily show had a good idea. Every time that Scary Clown 45 does his daily dose of fucking everything up, call Fox news.  Calling your congressmen and protesting will have to continue, of course but it seems he mostly listens to Fox. Perhaps if they get tired of listening to us bitch, they will try to get their boss/fan to change a few things. 1-888-369-4762.** How far down will he and his cult drag this country?

***** A personal note: I heard a comedian the other day talking about jerks in all parts of our lives. Whether it be church, work, school, concerts, an AA meeting or whatever there is always an asshole in the mix to ruin stuff. This really resonated with me because I have seen a situation lately that perfectly illustrates this. A local store has a department with 3 managers. Manager #1 keeps hiring in his friends that mostly create their own schedules and do not often break a sweat. Manager #2 has been there a while and things run pretty smooth and fair when they run the day. Manager #3 is new to the position and often seems like they do not know what the fuck is going on and it was recently learned that this one has been backstabbing #2 so much that # 2 was fired. Now, we can’t know, of course, the reason for the firing but it just shows that a perfectly nice place to work and shop with a company one can believe in can go all wrong because of one or two bad apples. Manager #2 who is also battling illness (so does not often have the strength to fight back) has lost a career and many employees who respect them are now stuck working with people they know will run the place into the ground or having to find another job. I have seen a few similar situations thru the years and of course, asshole in chief in D.C. is like the all time perfect example of this but why can’t we weed out the jerks?  

***** Days alert: Is Paul leaving? What? They need to bring in a good mate for him. He is arguably the most honest person in town and he deserves the best. Let Will and Sonny have each other and find a better match for Paul but don’t let him go. I mean Sonny treats Paul like he isn’t even in the room half the time and they were going to marry?!  But, yes.. Chris Sean (Paul) is going and Bryan R. Dattilo (Lucas) may go soon too. Marci Miller (Abby) is out and will be replaced by the old Abby, Kate Mansin. Arianne Zucker (Nicole) will be back. Will she have a baby for Eric? Olivia Rose Keegar (Claire) has released a single titled ‘Just my type.’** Are they really gonna do a Ben and Ciara thing?** Sephen Nichols (Patch) is out as well as Greg Rikkaart (Leo). Farah Fath (Mimi Lockhart) is back. Sheila, Shawn and Belle will show up soon.  Kyle Lowder who used to play Brady will return as another character. There is a rumor that Allison Sweeney (Sami) will swing in for a bit and will she be pregnant with Rafe’s baby? I am betting so since Hope just mentioned something about Raif not having any kids.

***** Antarctic ice loss has tripled in just a decade.

***** The Philadelphia Eagles were cancelled at the White House because most of them would not come. Philly’s mayor countered with:” Trump is not a true patriot but a fragile egomaniac obsessed with crowd size and afraid of the embarrassment of throwing a party to which no one wants to attend.”  The night before, Fox news showed pics of Eagles kneeling when in fact they were praying as they always do. Nobody said there was anything wrong with that before so the players would like to know what is wrong with praying? This particular team never took a knee all season as protest. And what about the 10 players who wanted to go to the White house and worked hard to get there?** Scary Clown says he won’t even invite the NBA champs.

***** Illinois ratified the ERA. Just 1 more state and 36 years after the deadline to adopt legislation we may get there.

***** So, I see Domino’s latest stunt is fixing the roads? Somebody has to work on the infrastructure so it might as well be them.

***** The MtV awards best dressed to me were Alison Brie and Kristen Bell. While the chaos engulfed our country, the young people at the awards (the so called Hollywood elite), spoke out for real super heroes, acceptance for all and an end to bullying.

***** Should we be giving Dennis Rodman airtime to show how stupid he is? I hear the argument  over and over lately that someone was nice to them so they must be ok. This could be said of Trump, Kim Jung Un or a serial killer. How fucking selfish can people be?  The ignorant seem to be incapable of seeing the horror right in front of them as they pick and choose facts.

***** Why have I seen a rash of first cousins as lover’s jokes? Why is it ok to make fun of this?

***** Artifacts were found in Springfield, Il. which came from the 1908 race riots. First found in 2014 when work was being done on an underpass, officials hope to soon have them on display. After working to preserve the items, they are looking to the Smithsonian and the Library of Congress.

***** Is there a new serial killer in Massachusetts?

***** The Koch brothers are apparently waging war all over the country against Mass Transit. They use paid activists to push similar thinking voters to vote it down. It is funny that these big government haters don’t mind that the Koch Brothers have made a well thought out data service to help control their voters.

***** The Tony’s were pretty rockin’ this year. Robert DeNiro got everybody going with a Fuck Trump sentiment. Most awards went to The Band’s Visit, Harry Potter and the cursed child and Angels in America. Once on an Island won best revival and other winners were Glenda Jackson and Nathan Lane (who I love but was really pulling for Michael Cera and Brian Tyree Henry). Tony Shalhoub, Laurie Metcalf and Andrew Garfield also took home awards.  The most beautiful moment was from the students of Stoneman Douglas and their teacher who was honored.** A Trump supporter went to A Bronx tale: The musical after the DeNiro incident which is codirected by Mr. D. The supporter held up a Trump 2020 sign. My son chuckled, “At least he bought a ticket.”

***** IHOP has become IHOB. They think they are Red Robin. More $ in burgers than pancakes, I guess.

***** Stephen Colbert sang the National anthem at a Mets game.** Trump is taking swipes at the late night hosts now. Conan, Colbert and Fallon teamed up to do a funny about that.

***** So some people think that Roseanne’s racist remarks and Samantha Bee’s ‘cunt’ comment are the same? Both should lose their show? NO.. big difference.  Other countries do not get our outrage.. The word ‘cunt’ is not as big a deal in Canada and Great Britain. If there is fall out shouldn’t standards and practices at TBS be in trouble for letting the ‘feckless cunt’ comment go to broadcast? I mean Roseanne did this on her twitter on her own. Trump cult members think they can all go to twitter and spout their racist, hateful rhetoric and get away with it. If one is going to be successful in the mainstream world, they may not get away with that like Scary Clown. Anyway, Go Samantha Bee!!**BTW,  Love the letter that Michael Moore put out about Trump and Roseanne, it is worth a read.** ABC will let the others serve out their contracts after a settlement with Roseanne when they bring us The Conners.

***** Jim Carrey and Showtime will give us ‘Kidding’ on Sept. 9. The dark comedy will cast Carrey as Mr. Pickles, a children’s host who is falling apart. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’s Michel Gondry will direst and the cast will include Catherine Keener, Judy Greer and Frank Langella.

***** Michael Myers, Jamie Lee Curtis and Halloween are back and wipes out all the sequels.

***** George Clooney received the lifetime achievement award from the American Film Institute.

***** Illinois man, Jay Smith claims he may have coyotes, wild dogs, a mix or hybrid or a unique unknown species in the woods around his home. The U.S. Dept. of agriculture and Chicago’s field museum are now interested in the 40 or so creatures. Smith describes them as bigger than wolves with dark coats. You can see for yourself on youtube : Kanahoe wolves of forgottonia.

***** Atlanta has been renewed for season 3, of course!!

***** Reese Witherspoon will soon be back in the Legally Blonde world for the third time.

***** I truly love to hear Louie Anderson laugh.

***** The President is Missing, a novel by James Patterson and Bill Clinton is #1.

***** Terry Crews talked to the Senate about sexual assault.

***** Secret Service is temporarily keeping an eye on Sarah Sanders and more staff members may get their own agents.

***** The Environmental media association Benefit gala honored Elizabeth Olsen, Ray Halbritter, Mike Sullivan and Jane Fonda who danced on stage with the musical guest Snoop Dogg.

***** Redmond O’Neal was arrested on June 8 for assault with a deadly weapon, criminal threat, brandishing a knife, battery and attempted murder.  Police say he went on a violent spree in Southern California.

***** Watch for Shock and Awe from Rob Reiner in July. People have been floating his name for President and U know the opposition would immediately call him meathead. I say embrace it, Meathead for President!!!!!!!**I Love that Reiner calls out Trump with’ the art of the lie.’

***** The much anticipated Old man and the gun will be out in September. The comedy filmed in Texas stars Robert Redford, sissy Spacek, Casey Affleck, Danny Glover and Tom Waits. I can’t fucking wait!

***** Look for the new film, An Actor Prepares with Jeremy Irons, Mamie Gummer, Larry Pine and Jack Huston.

*****The special council has piled more charges onto Paul Manafort. It was after this that he went back to court for violating the terms of his house arrest and his bail was revoked. The 40 charges now include witness tampering. All charges were about incidents before the Presidential campaign.

***** We have to know that people are not really paying attention when Scary Clown and Gulliani babble on incoherently on national television and their supporters do not seem to care or they really don’t get it. These voters seem to think that it is easier to stay with the devil you know and just refuse to bend. ** Ivanka keeps gathering more new trademarks in China and refuses to answer questions about it as the trade talk rages on.** Why do people keep trying to normalize all this behavior?

***** So.. Supposedly Trump told a friend that porn is not allowed in the White House and it his biggest complaint. Some reporters submitted this as an official question to the White House. It seems the subject has never really come up so no one has thought to ask before. So far there has been no response. ** Word is that Scary Clown rips up papers after he reads or uses them. The problem is that Presidential papers have to be preserved for history so 2 people work just to tape those papers back together.  They were fired this month.

***** Sexual misconduct controversy abounds in Illinois under Mike Madigan with Tim Mapes under the microscope.

***** Justify won the Belmont Stakes and is just the 13th horse in history to win the Triple crown.

***** Senator Jeff Merkley is telling us that immigrants are being held in small cages in Texas. Is this our country? Is this really happening?

***** Recording academy President, Neil Portnow will step down from his post next year.

***** Mystery Science Theatre 3000 will tour in the fall. Joel Hodgson, Jonah Ray, Tom Servo and Crow will begin riffing live on October 9 in Portland, Maine.

***** I wanna be in New Orleans for Voodoo fest on October 26-28. The lineup rocks with Marilyn Manson, Janelle Monae, Zeds dead, Elle King, Mumford and Sons, Arctic Monkeys and Childish Gambino.

***** Next year Brian De Palma is going to start filming ‘Predator’ about the Weinstein scandal.

***** Convicted drug trafficker Alice Johnson was pardoned by Scary Clown.  Who’s next?

***** Trump called Canadian PM Trudeau, meek, mild and weak. ** True to form, Trump showed up late at the G7 for his meeting on women’s empowerment.** Rep. Steve Schmidt said that ‘Trump beclowned himself.”** Trump quote: “Kim Jong Un is a great guy” and “ North Korea is no longer a nuclear threat.” I don’t think he will ever hear the end of it over those statements. Saying it does not make it so. I wrote this and then I heard Chuck Schumer say it. ** Big evidence of wrong doing in the Trump charity organization. He is now being sued by the attorney General for persistent illegal conduct.** Trump now says he wants to withdraw from the World Trade Organization. He is being such a good little boy by helping Putin check things off his list. Destroy NATO, Destroy EU, Destroy the UN, Eliminate U.S. leadership. ** As June ends, there are new reports that North Korea has ramped up its Nuclear production.

***** This whole mess with 2,000 kids being taken from their parents at the border is an outrage. I can’t help but think of our ‘well meaning’ Christian folk trying to convert the Native Americans back in the day. They tried hard to make the natives dress like the white man, pray like the white man and go to our schools. As well as leverage for scary clown’s wall, are they trying to fill these children’s heads with their own propaganda while they are in foster care or residing in the white man’s warehouse? **When will the loyalists realize that a wall cannot be built? Private citizens own some of that land. There are bodies of water on the border. No matter how much the racists wish for it, it just can’t be done.** There is something about the way he grins crazily when he is called out on something. It seems like he is so proud of his lies and the way he conducts himself so unethically. I am reminded of Manson and the way he would light up when asked about his crimes or when he was shown footage from other family members talking about him. This is such a fast moving story that some are equating to the way the Jewish and the Japanese were treated in the past. ** It is obvious that no planning went into any of this new policy. It is wonderful that so many reporters are watching the facilities they know about and staying at the border. It takes time to get the facts and it isn’t easy when the administration is being so secretive. The lawsuits have started. Can we get Sessions, Nielsen, Pence and Trump on child neglect??** People of all nations will not want to be here soon and we will be left with the racists and bullies. Do we leave or do we fight?  If everybody left the Trumpers alone in this country what would they have to complain about? They have no empathy, it is like they thrive on others suffering. ** Multiple on air personalities cried at the stories of the children as their emotions came to the surface. I think many of us feel helpless as that sinking feeling we all had on election night has come to the point we all feared.** The Red Cross has not even been allowed in to these FOR PROFIT facilities. Protesters are staying on the case of Krisjen Nielsen. The administration and their defenders have been so flippant about the whole thing especially Corey (womp, womp) Lewandowski.** It costs the government over twice as much to house the kids without their parents.** Melania visited the kids and wore a jacket which read ‘I really don’t care, Do you?’ This started a whole new mess. I thought of those Turpin monster parents. Why on earth does anyone want to put kids in cages?  Does it make someone powerful to torture children?

***** June ended with about 700 protests for the kids in cages. Family’s Belong Together marches were overflowing in the heat with inspiring messages and a lot of heart. I was so proud to be there.

***** New York has sued the federal government over zero tolerance.**The U.S. has withdrawn from the UN human rights body. Many do agree with this one for they feel there is not equal punishment for nations when it comes to human rights.** A lawsuit was filed on April 23 alleging kids were held down and injected to render them helpless and keep them calm.**It seems that we should leave the immigrants alone and enforce swift, harsh penalties for those who hire undocumented workers. These employees aren’t paying their fair share on these employees.**The Pentagon has been asked to prepare housing for 20,000 immigrants.** I mean, this is not a simple subject but basically if you come in illegally, you go back. If you seek asylum, you should not be separated from your child or be in detention. More judges would help get this backlog caught up and ankle bracelets had seemed to be helping the situation. Take some of this ‘traveling to Mar a Lago $’ and hire more judges. And let’s help stabilize these regimes so folks will feel safer in their own countries. Some are even saying they should abolish I.C.E.. Some of those speaking out with that thought are I.C.E. agents themselves. I.C.E. spokesperson James Schwab has been speaking out. He claims he resigned because although he was asked to spin for both administrations, the current administration asked him to outright lie. Thank you James! ** Immigrants add 63 billion to the economy.** A federal judge has declared the kids must be reunited with their parents in 30 days, for younger kids it is 14 days.** Justin Trudeau tells refugees they are welcome in Canada.

*****  Ok.. Read the next item before this one!!!... So Stuttering John AKA John Melendez has a podcast and he claims he called air force one and he got thru.  He pretended to be Sen Bob Menendez and Trump told him he would have a Supreme Court pick in 2 weeks. While people wondered if this was true, Trump announced he would have his pick on July 9.

***** The Supreme Court upheld the travel ban including Venezuela, North Korea, Syria, Iran, Somalia and Libya. They (5-4) claim it is not a Muslim ban and allows for them to get off the list. This reverses the lower court’s rulings but at least it is the third incarnation as the first two were struck down. Even though the Supreme court said the President has the authority it did put it somewhat in check. Still wrong.  0 people have been killed in our country by a person from one of these countries.** The Supreme Court also tells us you don’t have to pay your union dues. ** Justice Kennedy is set to retire. Trump’s private banker at Deutsche bank for 12 years is Justice Kennedy’s son. JS

***** The country gets more liberal and the power in the country gets more conservative. WTF?** Rod Rosenstein seemed very confident in his questioning this week. This is good news for the country!

***** Sean Spicer is putting together a talk show.

***** The Trump administration is backing insurance companies to eliminate the pre- existing condition protection.

***** The 2019 Hollywood walk of fame will add Robert DeNiro, Anne Hathaway, Michael Buble, Tyler Perry and the trio of Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris and Dolly Parton.

***** Sara Netanyahu has been indicted on fraud charges.

***** Take a listen to the Ear hustle podcast and get the dirt inside prison.

***** Studied show that 97% of rapists never go to jail.

***** Women can drive in Saudi Arabia but arrests are up for women who protest there.

***** Jerry Springer is finally done with his show.

***** The republicans govern without shame. The democrats shame without governing.  –Bill Maher

***** From what I see it seems that America to the Conservatives means guns and Christianity should be included in our governments and our schools.  They seem to like everyone to take care of themselves financially except in extreme cases and outsiders should not be a part of this country. America to the liberals seems like the same rights for all like health care, ruling our own bodies and that love is love. They believe in high taxes and programs to help others.

***** Jeff Sessions of the United Methodist church has been charged under church law with violating paragraph 270.3: child abuse, immorality, racial discrimination and dissemination of doctrines contrary to the standards of doctrine of the United Methodist church. In the 50 years of the church as a denomination, no case can be found that has gotten this far.

***** It seems that there was always a bit of a separation between Fox news and the rest of the company. This latest border mess has crumbled that particular wall. Artists who have at one time or another  worked for Fox Studios are speaking out. Modern Family creator Steve Levitan, director Payl Fieg and Seth Mcfarlane are among them.

***** If we don’t make peace with our wounds, we’ll be tempted to despise the wounded.  – Father Gregory Boyle

***** No one is illegal on stolen land.   Thanks Kim

*****  Trump is not much on tradition. The man cancels the congressional picnic for lack of time but is gung ho for rallies and fund raisers .A scrawl on Fox news dressed down CNN and MSNBC for not airing the latest Trump rally. Who the fuck wants to see that nightmare?

***** Peter Fonda’s emotions got the better of him and he tweeted: WE SHOULD RIP BARRON FROM HIS MOTHERS ARMS AND PUT HIM IN A CAGE WITH A PEDOPHILE AND SEE IF HIS MOTHER WILL STAND UP AGAINST THE GIANT ASSHOLE. He deleted it but the damage was done. He apologized to the family.**Sarah Sanders was asked to leave a restaurant** Maxine Waters is asking people to call out Trump workers when they see them. This is getting ridic but I think the right thinking people of this country are feeling trapped and desperate. Civility is hard keep in check when our country is being taken over by racists, thieves and bullies. We must try to do this right though. We must get this right!

***** Scary Clown 45 claims that crime in Germany is so high, perhaps because of the refugees? In fact, crime is at a 30 year low? Similarly, a report commissioned by Scary’s own administration shows how much immigrants put into our economy but since the numbers were good, they buried that report.** A story claimed that WH staffers show the President only what he wants to see and that John Kelly tells people to just let him keep going as he is and if it leads to impeachment then our country will be through this horrific time.** His rallies and speeches get crazier if that is possible. Does he travel with an audience?** Trump claims that the Dems want immigrants because they see them as potential voters. Genius, years of red tape and possibly letting gang members (his words) in just for a vote! ** He will say anything to divert attention from himself and his cohorts using this country as their personal piggy bank and taking our rights away.** The UN has declared that the policy of separating children from parents at the border, “may amount to torture.”

***** White house.gov has an agenda for a complete reorganizing of the Federal government full of privatization, major cuts and consolidated power.

***** I-95 in Maine has been getting shut down so border patrol can check your citizenship. WTF?

***** OK.. This is a very unimportant note and I try to never watch commercials but I love the new Progressive ad where the dude is turning into his dad. So cute!

***** I wish that there was a little more backbone on the Sunday morn political shows. I mean the weekend of the big outrage at the border, there were big Trump loving infomercials, why are Bannon and Kelly Ann even invited on these shows?  I have no earthly idea how anyone could have an ounce of respect for any of them.

***** A NY Times story finds that Scary clown 45’s prison cutbacks have been so severe that teachers, secretaries and nurses have had to act as prison guards. ** Economists estimate that Iowa soybean farmers alone could lose up to $624,000,000 as a result of the tariffs. **Harley Davidson has moved some of their work to Bangkok because of the trade war.

***** Thank you James Corden for the Carpool Karaoke with Paul McCartney. It is the first time in a while that I let go of all the worry over this country et al and really got engrossed in something sweet and fun.

***** Disabled vets are being docked on their disability checks for an insurance they were forced into that they and their families can’t even redeem.

***** Kevin Vernardo has started his own circus.

***** Vince Vaughn was arrested June 19 for DUI and resisting arrest.

***** The BET awards winners include D J Khaled, Black Panther, Migos and Sza. Best dressed to me were Meek Mill, Remy Ma, Trevor Jackson, Storm Reid and Janelle Monae.

***** Mystery Race day theatre with Michael Waltrip????

***** John Legend tweeted a Fuck You to Paul Ryan!

***** The electoral college must go!

***** March 2019: Tim Burton will bring us Dumbo with Michael Keaton, Colin Farrell, Alan Arkin and Danny Devito.

***** Stan Lee has gotten a restraining order against his business manager claiming elder abuse.

***** A 94 year old Elgin woman put up a large sign in her yard that read ’Impeach Trump now!’ The city told her that it exceeded the size limit for signs in the city ordinance. She put up a smaller sign claiming that she just wants to draw attention to his foreign policy, trade policy and domestic policy. The woman, Myra Becker said that he’s a disaster. “I’m on a walker and there are all the things I can’t do but I can put up a sign.

***** Larry Kudlow had a heart attack.

***** The new season of Comedians in cars getting coffee includes Dave Chapelle, Alec Baldwin, Dana Carvey, Ellen DeGeneres, Zach Galifianakis, Jerry Lewis, Kate McKinnin, Tracy Morgan, Hassan Minaj, John Mulaney and Brian Regan.

***** So John Cena is really a pig! There was a clip of the man telling his girlfriend that he would make the sacrifice of giving her a child. This was a regular clip from a show she does so at least he owns his pig status, I guess. Sure, it is a ‘reality’ show that is supposedly all scripted but I don’t think that would matter to me if I was that kid.  I guess all their money will help. Good luck kid!

***** Boundaries will star Christopher Plummer, Peter Fonda and Vera Farmiga.

***** Mike Pence was invited to the big gay dance party in Ohio that was in the street just outside his hotel.  

*****  Brockmire continues to make me laugh out loud. A great line: Orange juice is a glass of vodka wasted.  How will sobriety play in the next season?

***** Trump staffers seem to have trouble unwinding and having personal lives since most of D.C. wants nothing to do with them. Recently it was revealed that they have found a bar called Rebellion where they feel welcome. Oh what clever clogs.  I imagine that since this has been revealed , it won’t be fun there for long.

***** Better Call Saul season 4 will have a mysterious Breaking Bad character that was never seen named Lalo. A couple more characters will be introduced when the show returns August 6.

***** The Traverse city film fest will honor Jane Fonda with Lifetime achievement.

***** Acura is sure using a lot of vintage Stones in their advertising as of late.** BTW The Stones have a new boxed set of all their original material albums from 1971 on. It is all cleaned up and lookin’ pretty!!

***** The new Whtney doc about Whitney Houston has some honest revelations . In a posthumous Me Too moment, it is revealed that she was molested by her cousin Dee Dee Warwick.

***** Maryland was home to the latest shooting. The AP has declared they will help the Capital Gazette continue to publish until they get back on their feet. Now that is what this country should be about.

***** The table in the Vietnamese noodle shop where Obama and Bourdain dined has been put under glass. Fans have come to the shop to pay tribute.

***** Mia Farrow proposes we move to saying ‘succumbed’ to suicide instead of ‘committed’ suicide because depression is an illness. The legacy of suicide is cruel enough for all involved. The national suicide prevention hotline number is 1-800-273-8255.

***** R.I.P. Glenn Snoddy, Alan Bean, Joe Jackson, Ella Brennan, Dwight Clark, Kate Spade, Alan O’Neill, Danny Kirwan, Eunice Gayson, Murray Frumson, Koko, Jackson Odell, Gena Turgel, Jerry Maren (last of the lollipop guild) , DJ Fontana, Neal Boyd,  Matt ‘guitar’ Murphy, Nick Knox, Jimmy Wopo, Charles Krauthammer, Vinnie Paul, Richard Harrison, Richard Valeriani, victims of the Maryland newspaper shooting,  Anthony Bourdain, Steve Soto, Willie Lee Rose, Richard Allan Greenberg and Eva Kirchgessner.