#anyway anyone else on my dash here still?
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the-composer · 8 months ago
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apathyfairy · 3 months ago
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i always said that once i stop caring what other people think about me it’s over for you bitches and it’s finally happened i’m literally untouchable
#everyone else my age like oh i’m getting married ! oh i had a baby ! me i’m becoming evil#i decided months ago that i’m done i live in the worst place in the country or on earth even and these asshole people are not getting any#more out of me. i don’t smile at anyone anymore. i don’t make eye contact. i’m done with this place and these rude ass people#so today i was at the gas station and pulled up behind someone and got out and the pump didn’t work so i got back in#and waited for the girl in front of me to be done bc everywhere else had a line anyway#so when she finally leaves the asshole in the jeep behind me is yelling at me through his window and literally about to rear end me#and i’m trying to tell him that one doesn’t work so he’s still yelling at me through the window and i keep mouthing IT DOES NOT WORK#bc he simply is not getting and finally he sticks his piece of shit head out the window and LISTENS to me and i said it DOESNT WORK.#it’s BROKEN.#and i realize he thought i was just waiting to be at the first pump and holding up the line but i don’t fucking care#so then he goes. oh. and he gets out and i said you can try it but it says it’s broken.#monotone bc i’m not trying to be nice#and he’s like oh ok. then i take back everything i said about you in the car LOL#and i said. ok.#and he said nah i wasnt saying anything about you#and i said nothing#then he’s a fuck face so he’s all embarrassed and acting like we’re buddies now#so he’s like huuuh. usually there’s an attendant walking around.. and i say i havent seen anyone. not looking at him#and he goes huuuh usually they put a sign or something out that it’s broken and i said nothing so like#the slimy piece of shit he is he silently gets back in his car and waits and then i leave and i’m like#in this circumstance 100% normally my heart would have been pounding out my chest bc i’m afraid of confrontation and who isnt afraid of#men yelling at them but this time i felt nothing except anger bc why the fuck are you trying to start something with me in the fucking gas#station go to another fucking line if you’re in that big of a rush and also learn how to fucking read when it says pump out of order#before you try to fucking rear end me which go for it btw bc i have dash cams and anyway#i’m so fucking sick of living here and i’ll never get out#but. i’m proud of myself for not being afraid or scared and just dealing with that piece of shit straightforward
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the-modern-typewriter · 26 days ago
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Not an ask, I just wanted to tell you I love, love, LOVE your snippets. It always makes me happy to see a new post by you on my dash, then I know I'm in for a treat. I especially love your villains, they're so much more than just "the bad guy". I always find myself wanting to know more about them, even though they send a chill down my spine and I know I'd be terrified to run into them in a dark alley at night. Thank you for sharing your genius!
"Has anyone ever told you that it's a dangerous idea to walk down dark alleyways alone at night?"
The villain was well-concealed in the crisp evening, leaned slim as a shadow against the wall.
The air stank of a mixture of oncoming snow and the garbage bags piled up and threatening to spill. It wasn't, the hero thought, the sort of place that really suited the villain. They seemed the type best made for pristine conference rooms and expensive penthouse lairs. Spacious. Glittering. Cold, corporate monstrosity.
"Yes," the hero said. "But then I wouldn't have the pleasure of running into you, would I?"
"Is that what this is?"
"You don't think so?"
"I'm always a delight, but few fully recognise that facet of my personality. Most instead, should they choose to see me in a dark alleyway, walk swiftly in the opposite direction."
"Mm." The hero shook their head. "I admit, your general habit of instilling terror in everyone can sometimes overpower other impressions."
"But not with you."
"Oh, I'm crapping myself. Speaking of. If I aim my phone at you so I can see you properly are you going to hiss at me like a feral cat, eyes glinting, and scurry away? Or am I just going to spontaneously combust for daring to look at you? The rumours vary."
"No one would ever dare call me a feral cat, dear."
"Not in as many words. But you are sort of lurking in the shadows and stalking me, so I think its apt."
The villain snapped their fingers. A ball of light appeared shining at the tips, illuminating the few metres between them. None of the usual rats or cockroaches went skittering away from the villain's immaculate shoes, everything was eerily still, so the hero figured they (like most creatures) were smart enough to keep their distance. Vanish somewhere else, if they could. Hold their breath. Hide.
The hero eyed them and resisted the urge to move closer.
The villain offered a soft, mocking, snake-like hiss.
"You wanted to see me," the hero said instead. "At least, I assume that's why you're lurking outside of my workplace and doing the aforementioned stalking routine. You could come inside, you know. I don't bite."
"I do."
"You're not beating the feral cat allegations."
"If I came inside, your colleagues would pass out or start screaming. It would be a whole thing and I'm not working right now."
"Well-" The hero had no good answer to that. 'It would make my shift go faster' was not a good answer. "Anyway. My break is only ten minutes. What do you want?"
"To see you," the villain said. "Talking with you is a debatable experience."
"Wow, rude."
"You followed me out here. I was happy looking."
"Well, I wasn't just going to leave you to it!"
"Most people wouldn't notice."
"Good for most people," the hero huffed. "Do you want an autograph and a picture so you could take it away and maybe the photo would last longer than looking at me?"
"Yes, if you're offering."
The hero stared at them. The villain stared back.
"...I'm not offering," the hero said, after a beat. "God knows what you'd do with my signature."
The villain snorted. Their head tilted as they studied the hero, twirling their fingers idly, making the light shift and cast the world in strange uneasy fragments.
"Come to dinner with me," the villain said, after a long moment. "After your shift."
"I thought talking with me was a debatable experience."
"Yes. And I'm debating."
"Does inviting people to dinner normally work for you after you insult them?"
"Yes."
"Because most people are afraid to say no."
"Yes."
"No."
The villain smiled. At least, in the light, it looked suspiciously like a smile. There and gone in an instant. The hero couldn't tell if it reached the villain's eyes, cast in the alleyway gloom as they still were. It shouldn't have made a thrill run down the hero's spine, but it did.
"Another night," the hero said. "Maybe. When I'm not working."
"You're always working, be it here or in your adorable crime-stopping ways."
"Adorable doesn't win you any points either."
"I'm not trying to win points with you."
"But you're trying to take me to dinner. Why?"
"Novelty. I make a point to invest heavily in my own amusement."
"And I'm amusing you."
"You're...intriguing me. Whether you say yes or no," the villain said. "So entirely up to you if you want the free dinner or not."
"I can afford my own dinner."
"Is that why you're so skinny?"
"Again," the hero said, because the only other option was to be rendered speechless at the villain's audacity. "Rude."
"Politeness is for people too weak to say and do what they like. Dinner on Wednesday then?"
"They say you're horrifying. No one told me you were also insufferable."
"Well, most people are attached to keeping their tongues, so that's not really surprising." The villain continued, waving a dismissive hand, before the hero could possibly respond to that nightmarish gem of a comment. "They say you're generally brave and lovely, but five minutes alone with you already makes it clear that there's something desperately wrong with you or you would never have followed me here."
The hero spluttered.
"Death wish?" The villain asked curiously. "Adrenaline junkie? I didn't think you were especially stupid, but it's hard to tell watching you from the other side of the street."
"You really are something, huh."
The villain flicked the light off their fingers in the hero's direction in response. When the light reached them it didn't hurt, only popped like a bubble against their nose. They were plunged into darkness.
When the hero raised their phone, the villain was off the wall and right there in front of them.
The hero sucked a sharp breath, eyes going wide.
"As are you," the villain said. "Most people would have flinched."
The hero swallowed.
They felt suddenly infinitely aware that the silent darkness was also beneath the villain's power, as much as the light was, swallowing up every inch of space around the two of them one way or another. Who knew what was the villain's and what was just there.
Dangerous to walk down a dark alley indeed, as if it was the dark or the alley that was the real problem.
The hero had never felt so damningly alive.
"Wednesday," the hero said. "Tell me where to meet you."
"It's a date."
The rest of their shift passed in a blur.
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withleeknow · 11 months ago
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my moon and stars.
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pairing: minho x reader genre/warnings: established relationship, (tooth-rotting) fluff; even tho it's unedited this is still one of my favorite things that i've written on this blog so far !!! gaaaaaaah word count: 1.1k listen to 🎧: lover - taylor swift
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
navigation › masterlist › ko-fi
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nobody thought jeongin would be the next one to get married, but alas, here you are, at the reception of your friend's wedding, nursing a glass of champagne.
"come on," minho says, snatching the glass away from you and finishing the rest of it in one gulp, before he takes you by the hand and tugs you forward. "let’s go dance."
you can't even be annoyed that he basically just stole your drink. instead, you just laugh, and let the love of your life drag you to the dance floor.
he guides you to move in a slow rhythm, matching the tempo of the song that's playing in the background. it's a song that you would usually think is overrated and has been played to hell and back, but in the moment, drunk on the cozy atmosphere, you think it's nice. you briefly wonder what song you would choose for your first dance at your own wedding.
it's just a fleeting thought. you've been having those all day.
jeongin's wedding was beautiful. everything was done to perfection, and you have no doubt that most of it was overseen by his girlfriend.
nope, correction: she's his wife now.
nevertheless, you've been imagining yourself and minho in a similar setting. you in a stunning white dress. him, dashing in a classy suit. the two of you exchanging vows with teary eyes in front of your friends and families. the cats as ring bearers. sealing forever with a deep kiss and fond smiles.
as you continue to sway along to the music, you wrap your arms around minho's neck and pull him closer. there's something in the way that he's been treating you all day that makes you melt even more than it usually does. he's been more touchy; there's not a single moment where his hands aren't on your body in any way, whether it be a hand on your knee, on the small of your back, or an arm around your waist. minho isn't often overt with his affection like that; he tends to dote on you in the privacy of your own loving bubble, away from anyone and everyone.
then, there's the softness that he's looking at you with in his chocolate brown eyes. it's warm, saccharine; it makes you feel like you two are the only people left in the room even though this is supposed to be someone else's big day.
"i love you," he says suddenly, brushing his nose against yours before leaning in just a tad closer to your lips, "you mean the world to me."
it's rare for minho to say things like this out of the blue. he's a man of few words after all.
he's full of surprises today, it seems.
"what's the occasion?" you ask with a coy smile.
"no occasion. just wanted to tell you that."
you close the distance, pressing your lips against his as his arms wrap themselves tighter around your body. "i love you too," you smile against him.
he mirrors your smile, and kisses you deeper. he's so sweet today, so openly loving with you even as your friends around you watch on.
you have an inkling that maybe, just maybe, he's been thinking the same things as you.
you stay in each other's arms until the song ends, then another one, then a couple more, just basking in soothing glow of love that's covering the air tonight. minutes pass with kisses shared, until it's finally time for the bouquet toss.
minho reluctantly lets you leave his side for the first time since the morning. his eyes follow you as you move to the front of the room, standing a comfortable distance away from the bride. you've never really been interested in this kind of things anyway; you're just doing it for the sake of participation.
everyone else is engrossed in what's about to happen, their eyes fixed on the bride and the peonies in her hands, but minho is only focused on you. you, who's trying to blend in with the group of people and undoubtedly praying that the bouquet doesn't make its way into your hands. you, whom he thinks looks so beautiful, all dolled up for the special occasion. you, who made his heart stutter when you walked into the room in your pretty dress and flashed him a bashful smile. (but who is he kidding? you make his heart want to give out and run away every single morning when he wakes up and sees you peacefully sleeping in his arms.)
just you. always only you.
you, you, you.
you don't hang in the moon in the sky. you are the moon, you are the stars.
minho watches you watch the bride as she counts down from 3, then flings the bouquet up in the air while everyone waits with bated breath. it's a mess of flailing arms from what he can tell, a couple of the bridesmaids practically fighting each other to try and grab the damn thing.
you try to make yourself smaller, to duck lower so that the others could have the honor instead of you. but when the flowers come hurling toward you, you have no choice but to raise your hands and catch it, lest you want to be lobbed in the face with a bouquet of peonies.
some of the people around you sigh frustratedly, but most of the guys around minho suddenly burst into loud cheers. they clap him on the back and shake him by the shoulders but still, he remains transfixed on you and your adorable wide-eyed expression. your parted lips and doe eyes blinking fast as a rosy flush creeps up your skin.
your eyes find him in an instant, and you both just stare at each other for a moment. he reckons that you're trying to gauge his reaction, because the room is now filled with excited squeals of congratulations and half-hearted jokes of how you and minho are going to be the next ones to get hitched.
you look uncertain, still frozen in place with your hands clutching the peonies.
but then he just smiles, and it makes you smile too, your body immediately relaxing as you give him a wave using the bouquet, your shoulders slumping slightly when you release a sigh.
to minho, it doesn't matter whether you caught the flowers or not; neither of you believes in that kind of stuff anyway. it doesn't matter because he's always known that he was going to marry you, that there's no one else he would rather spend the rest of his life with.
it doesn't matter because unbeknownst to you, he's already got a velvet box hidden somewhere in your shared home, with a gorgeous diamond ring inside just waiting for the day it can be put on your finger.
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all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 08.01.2024]
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queenpiranhadon · 1 month ago
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╰┈➤ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ⭑.ᐟ : Your brother asked you to watch over his adopted sons for the night while he attended an important meeting. However, he forgot that he had asked you in the first place, and in the midst of all the confusion, you're now tasked with babysitting your two nephews alongside your brother's friend, Nanami Kento.
⭑ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Not really much, fluffy fluffy fluff, you're Gojo's younger sister by like a year, you're 28, he's 27, Yuji and Megumi are your adopted nephews, fem!reader, ooc? etc etc.
⭑ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Nanami Kento x Reader
𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: ⭑
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You're pulling up into your brother's driveway when another parked car catches your eye.
You frown slightly. Satoru never said anything about having anyone else over.
He had called you a week ago to watch over his adopted sons for the day, Yuji and Megumi; though knowing him, he probably forgot.
You sigh. Might as well go see your nephews anyway - since you came all the way.
Parking your car in the driveway, you make your way onto the porch to ring the doorbell.
Immediately, you hear screaming and chaos from within the house, snorting as you come to the conclusion that it's probably Yuji and Megumi clamoring to the door. Though, your idiot brother most likely had a hand in the destruction that was occurring too.
Eventually someone opens the door, and to your surprise it's someone new.
A tall man, around your age or older, with sandy blonde hair and gorgeous brown eyes. He's wearing a nice polo and slacks, undoubtedly something a little over the top for what you assumed to be babysitting, but you found it cute.
It may or may not have taken you a while to realize you were staring though.
Clearing your throat you look to the side while flashing the man an awkward smile.
"S-Sorry! I-uh, I'm Satoru's sister" you say, giving him your name while sticking out your right hand for a handshake.
The man looks amused, reciprocating your handshake and chuckles lightly. "No worries. My name is Nanami."
Just then, Satoru comes barreling in, a child in each arm. His hair is mussed up and his sunglasses are crooked, something you point out to which he groans, setting Yuji and Megumi down, only for them to run out the door and attach themselves to your legs.
"Hi Auntie!" Yuji chirps, grinning widely as his looks up at him excitedly.
Megumi doesn't say anything, being the quieter of the two, but you don't miss the small smile on his face as he smushes his cheek against your leg in a hug.
You chuckle, ruffling their hair affectionately. "I missed you too, boys. Is Satoru treating you okay?"
Yuji huffs and shakes his head vehemently. "He's a meanie."
You raise an eyebrow and your brother stares at the pink haired boy incredulously. "What do you mean?! I let you have dessert before breakfast yesterday!"
You glare at Satoru and sigh, lifting up Megumi so you were carrying him on his back, and gently detaching Yuji from your leg in favor of holding his hand.
"And I'm assuming that means you forgot you wanted me to babysit last week?" you ask, and Megumi peeks his little face over your shoulder judgmentally.
Your brother groans. "Ah shoot... completely slipped my mind. Completely forgot I texted you with everything going on..." he looks at your helplessly and you relent.
Sighing, you finally step inside the house, and turn towards Nanami, no longer as awkward as you initially were as you slip into Auntie mode.
"How about this- you go to that super important meeting you needed to attend and Nanami and I will stay here and watch over the boys. I'm sure we can handle it, right?"
"Yes, we will be fine. We'd probably do better than you anyways." Nanami says, rolling his eyes and you fight off the urge to laugh.
Ignoring his friend's comment, your brother wraps you in a one armed hug before grabbing his coat and thanking you both one last time, closing the front door and dashing to his car.
Megumi still on your back, groans. "I'm hungry."
Yuji nods. "Me too!"
You chuckle, walking to the kitchen to whip up something for dinner, setting Megumi down as you face the man behind you. "Nanami, do you want to keep them occupied while I make something? I won't be long, maybe only 15 minutes."
The blonde haired male nods, scooping Yuji and Megumi up in his muscled arms. "Sounds alright to me. We'll be in the living room."
You smile and rummage around the kitchen, praying to some supernatural force that the only thing Satoru kept in here wasn't just loads of sweets. Thankfully, your brother had some sense left in him and you found a decent amount of rice noodles in the pantry along with some broth and vegetables.
Putting together a decent meal, you put the bowls of steaming noodles on a tray and bring it to the living room where the boys are.
You find Yuji and Megumi watching Nanami in interest as he recounts a story from his work, only to bolt up immediately at the sight on you with food.
You place them down on coasters on the coffee table, warning them that the noodles were hot and to be careful, before handing a bowl to Nanami with a smile.
"Here- I'm not sure if you've babysitted these two before, but eat up, because you're going to need the energy."
Nanami smiles slightly. "Thank you. It looks amazing."
You feel the butterflies erupt in your stomach from his earnest compliment, nods, motioning to the kitchen.
"I'm going to grab some water for us - want to come?" You ask, and he nods, setting his bowl down on a coater and gets up to follow you to the kitchen.
Looking around the kitchen you groan, not realizing the step stool wasn't present in the room. You see the cabinet where your brother keeps his cups and curse your parents in your mind for giving him such tall genetics as you attempt to reach the cup on the shelf.
"Here, let me get that for you." Nanami's deep voice comes out from behind you and you freeze, realizing just how close he is, basically trapping you against the counter as his chest brushed against your back, grabbing four cups for you.
He hands them to you as you turn around, your eyes meeting with him beautiful brown ones, and yet again, you find yourself staring.
Clearing your throat awkwardly for a second time, you look away, and mumble out a thank you.
You fill up the four cups, and with Nanami's help you bring them back to the living room, handing them to the boys before digging in to your respective bowls of noodles.
Nanami offers to do the dishes, and you smile warmly as you thank him and usher the boys upstairs to get ready for bed.
However, even after they've brushed, showered, and settled into their pajamas, they still have energy for one last game for the day.
"Can we play 20 questions?" Yuji asks, plopping down on the large rug in his shared room with Megumi and you sigh, chuckling lightly as you sit down, patting the space in front of you and Megumi and Yuji sit down excitedly.
At that moment, Nanami comes upstairs, sitting down next to you across from the boys.
"What are we doing?"He asks, and Yuji grins at him widely.
"We get to ask you guys questions!" he chirps, and Megumi nods.
"Wait, that's not how-"
"Why don't you have a wife?" Yuji asks the man to your right, catching the both of you off guard.
"Uh- well, how do you know I don't?"Nanami asks, raising an eyebrow at the very inquisitive child.
"Do you have a wife?" Megumi asks immediately, mirroring the man's expression.
"Well- no."
"Then why don't you have a wife?" Megumi asks, and you want to laugh at the man's visible discomfort.
"How about we move on, yeah?" you say, trying to show a little mercy to the poor blonde.
"You many friends do you have?" Yuji asks, turning to you and you blink, unsure of how to answer.
"Um...three...?" You answer, a little sheepish.
"That's not many." Megumi says, unimpressed.
"Why do you only have three friends?" Yuji asks incredulously, his golden eyes impossibly wide.
"Well, um... back to him!" you chuckle nervously, nudging Nanami with your shoulder to change the topic.
"How come we only see you during the holidays?" Yuji asks Nanami curiously.
"Because I work an office job." Nanami answers, relieved to have a question he can answer.
"Is that why you don't have a wife?" Megumi asks and Nanami looks like he doesn't know why he puts up with the boys' antics.
He sighs, and stands up, brushing off his slacks. "Okay, enough questions - time for bed."
Yuji and Megumi groan, but you quiet their complaints with a knowing smile.
"Hey now, no frowns. If you two go to bed right now without complaints, you'll get a bedtime story."
Yuji and Megumi brighten up immediately. Your stories held a very high reputation in the Gojo household, and they knew it, racing to their beds and eagerly diving under the covers, awaiting your story. Sitting on Megumi's bed, and Nanami sitting on Yuji's you take a deep breath, and start recounting a story about a grumpy dinosaur who didn't have many friends.
"Did the dinosaur work in an office?" Megumi mumbles and Yuji is thrown into a fit of giggles.
You frown and flick Megumi's shoulder lightly. "Be nice, boys, and apologize."
"Sorry Mr. Nanami..." the boys mumble and you sigh quieting them again, sending an apologetic look to the blonde on Yuji's bed to which he responds with an amused expression.
"Good. Now, it was the dinosaur's birthday and...."
。゚•┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈꒰ა ⭑ ໒꒱┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈• 。゚
It's late at night now, the boys fast asleep as you sit on the balcony floor that overlooks the backyard.
You hear the door slide open, and suddenly Nanami joins you on the wooden floor, heat radiating off of him and you have to physically restrain yourself from getting closer to its source.
"So, you've been doing this for a long time, right?" He asks, and you turn to him, surprised.
"Huh? Oh yeah, Satoru adopted them the year we graduated, so I've had my fair share of babysitting duties since then."
"Oh, you and Gojo are the same age? I figured you'd be older, given how mature you are in comparison."
You snort. "To be fair, there isn't much maturity to compare myself against. We're basically the same age, Satoru was one of the oldest in our year and I was one of the youngest, so we're a little over a year apart. How old are you?"
Nanami chuckles. "I'm 27, so a year younger than you."
Your eyebrows shoot up. "You're kidding, I thought you were older than me! You're so put together in comparison to Satoru."
Nanami laughs. "And here I thought we weren't comparing ourselves to Gojo."
You laugh alongside him, sighing as you enter a comfortable silence, leaning against the walls of the house and staring at the stars.
"Call me Kento."
"What?"
"My first name. Call me Kento."
Your eyes widen, as the butterflies in your stomach are surely going crazy by now, but you manage to smile.
"Alright! Call me Y/N then. Don't think you'd want to call me Gojo too."
Nanami shakes his head, smiling. "No, you are far too special to be referred to by your surname."
You blink, staring at him, flustered. Did he just call you...special?
You can't bring yourself to look at him without dying from giddiness, but staring at the stars, you manage to speak.
"Thank you... I think you're pretty special too, Kento."
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A/N: Heheh they're total dorks <3
𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @tootiecakes234 @gina239 @its-liberty-frazblair @lilyadora @callmeanythingyouwant00
@milkm4nz @lightsgore @skaiblu-e @that-one-lightskin @hahajsphaha
@marie-is-in-the-dark @beaniesayshi @abinformyobsessions @sharycatx3 @meddykip
@riririr11 @ladygojooo @abyzissupersleepy @lilaccmilk @anime2006
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ambrosiagourmet · 8 months ago
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Rin Masterpost
Rin! Rinsha Fana! Beloved side character I think about far too much (or maybe not enough?)
I decided that it might be nice to put together an informational post about Rin, since she has some of my favorite background details of any character in Dungeon Meshi. This is partly as reference for myself, and partly for anyone else who might be interested in her but not know where to chase down the tidbits we we get of her, both in canon & extra materials. There’s also a little bit of theorizing and analysis sprinkled in for fun.
If anyone spots something I missed, please let me know and I will add it in!
Alright. Time for ultimate #rinposting
History and Timeline:
We don't have an official timeline for Rin (even in the expanded Adventurer's Bible, sadly), but we can put a lot of pieces together based on Kabru's timeline & their respective ages.
Rin is 2 years older than Kabru, and they met when he was 9. Assuming that he met her soon after she was taken to the elven capital, that means that the elves took her when she was 11.
Before that, she lived on the Northern Continent. Interestingly, when Mickbell asks about Shuro, Rin says she was born "here."
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Since "here" doesn't mean the actual Island itself, it must mean simply "not the east." She is described in the Adventurer's Bible as having "no real knowledge of or attachment to the East," so maybe that's why she draws a "there" verses "here" line.
I'd also like to add a note here that the elves don't seem uh... they don't seem great about respecting the value of other cultures, especially those of short-life species. Milsiril seems to have discouraged Kabru from eating or remembering food from his hometown, at least, and that's even as an adoptive parent who cares (at least in some way) for her child. As I will touch on later, the "care" that Rin was under probably had even less respect for her history or ties to either Eastern or Northern culture.
That is all to say, considering that Rin spent many years with the elves, I'd take her having "[no] attachment to the East" as more of a comment on how she feels now, and less as a definite choice she made. She may genuinely have chosen that approach and opinion for herself, she may have been pushed towards it by the elves, and she may have had little choice at all in the matter - all are valid interpretations, though I personally lean towards the thought that it's unlikely the elves didn't have at least some hand in it.
Anyway, Rin does seem to know at least a bit about her heritage - she can presumably name and identify the specific island her parents are from, and she recognizes that "Shuro" isn't a name used there. She also knows that different places from the Eastern archipelago speak different languages, so she knows at least a little about the other islands as well.
Some additional extrapolations I'll make based on these facts: she never mentions, and probably isn't in contact with, any family from her island. This may be because her extended family died, because her parents didn't (or weren't able to) maintain contact, or because she lost contact when she was taken by the elves. Somewhat relatedly, she also prooobably doesn't speak the language, at least not fluently, though her being able to comment on the state of language in the archipelago makes me think that she at least learned a little as a kid.
Anyway, Rin's parents were refugees from the archipelago, though we don't know what specifically caused them to leave. There is this little tidbit of info we get (from the cover of chapter 48, of all places), though:
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So yeah, that seems like it would be the backdrop of Rin's parents fleeing. As I said earlier, it's unclear if Rin might have any living family left back on her island. The listing she has for “family” in the Adventurer's Bible is just a dash, but so is Izutsumi's, for instance, and we know that she was taken from her family with no knowledge of who might still be out there. It's possible everyone else was killed, it's possible they were separated... it's possible that Rin's parents didn't even know.
As an additional note, and this is speculation on my part, but I think there is an argument to be made, with this tidbit from the cover as well as the Nakamoto clan's specialty in espionage and use of ninjas, that the politics of the archipelago are partially based on Sengoku era Japan. Not necessarily super relevant here, but I think it's interesting context for all... of the archipelago characters, honestly.
(Especially considering it seems like the Nakamoto clan is in a relatively comfortable position, and yet clearly are involved, or at least prepared to be involved in larger conflict. How stable is their position, really? How is Shuro's father viewed by the wider region and archipelago as a whole? What about his lord? NOT THE POINT THIS IS A POST ABOUT RIN. BUT IT'S VERY INTERESTING TO THINK ABOUT.)
Okay, back to Rin's parents.
Whatever caused them to leave, they made their way to the north, where they made their living with their magic for a time. There are no specifics about what kind of magic they used, but we know at least some examples of jobs that magic can get you, based on the flashback to Laios and Falin's childhood in chapter 26. Laios proposes that Fain could use her magic to be a priest, gravekeeper, or wandering exorcist. Though these are specific to Falin's affinity with spirits, they give some idea of the shape of the work that might be available. It's important, but it is also on the outskirts of society - not necessarily admired or appreciated by the average person.
And Rin’s parents were killed by vigilantes for that magic. It's not entirely news that superstitious villages in the area would sometimes kill magic users - we see a small drawing of people being burned at the stake in a panel towards the end of the manga:
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Nonetheless, Rin is the only person in the main cast who has experienced this brutality firsthand. And she did experience it firsthand, having been found by the elves as the sole survivor within the burnt ruins of her home.
It is unknown exactly how she survived, or what happened to her parents before and during the fire. Rin lived, and they did not.
The elves came some time after the fire, intending to investigate reports of ancient magic. They (and we) don't know if Rin's parents actually did use ancient magic, or if the reports and murders were simply spurred by general fear and superstition. Rin was the only piece of "evidence" that remained, and so she was taken back to the west with the elves when they left.
We don't know much about her time on the Northern Central Continent (where the elves/Canaries are based), but it doesn't seem like she was adopted or taken in by anyone the way that Kabru was. According to the Adventurer's Bible, after being taken into custody, "under their care she was treated as a captive animal would be." I would guess that means very basic food and shelter, little to no education. Probably the most social contact she got was from Kabru, as well as maybe, occasionally, from elves treating her as a curiosity, such as in this bit in the Adventurer’s Bible:
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Assuming she left with Kabru (which seems like it is the case, there's no info about them having separated during that time), she spent 9 years with the elves, and has been with Kabru on the Island in the 4 years since then.
She also stays in the Golden Country after the end of the story, apparently working as an apothecary.
Additional Details (& Speculation):
What does she remember of her family and home?
I'd like to take a moment here to explore a little of what Rin might remember of her parents and home.
For reference, we can look at Kabru. The canaries came to Utaya when Kabru was 6, and he arrived in the capital when he was 7. He remembers the events of the tragedy in his home, and has some memories of his mother and life in Utaya, including memories of local dishes.
Rin lost her parents and home at 11, so she presumably has much clearer memories of the events that lead to her being taken by the elves... or she might, assuming that they haven't been completely blocked by her trauma from the event.
Yeah, I am fairly damn sure that she's got some memory issues from trauma and PTSD. For one, this is the state she was found in:
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As already mentioned, she was also treated like something of an animal by the elves. She probably didn't have a lot of contact with other people, which would further perpetuate that sense of isolation and dehumanization. What I'm getting at here is that Rin probably didn't have much to help pull her out of this place, or heal these wounds. She had Kabru, who was also a kid and even younger than her, and she had herself.
Obviously trauma leaves different scars on everyone, and everyone responds and copes in different ways. But I do think it is interesting that we never hear anything about Rin's parents or life before the elves, and there are no real details about it given in the Adventurer's Bible the way we have for Kabru. What's presented is more surface level facts: they were refugees, they made a living with magic, they were killed.
I'm inclined to believe that things are laid out this way because that's how Rin holds on to these things. She knows things about them, but possibly remembers them more as things she was told/knows to be true, rather than actual memories she can picture herself experiencing.
Rin's Magic
In an interesting counterpoint to her potentially spotty memory, I do actually think Rin may have learned magic from her parents (or started learning, and was self-taught from there). She never attended a magic academy, and actually has a bit of grudge against people who did - owing to the social protection afforded to "upper-class mages," which her parents did not have. She also almost certainly wouldn't have been taught by the elves, who not only treated her as an animal but also knew her parents may have been involved with ancient magic.
Falin began to show signs of magical talent at 8, and was sent to the Magic Academy at 10, and that was as someone who had absolutely no guidance about or exposure to magic in her home town. Raised by two mage parents, I think Rin absolutely could have been learning some things by the time she was 11.
In terms of continued learning, I'll add that Rin is able to identify Marcille's magic as being A) from an Academy student, and B) cast by an elf:
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This makes me think that she continued to study magic on her own while held by the elves, and probably even more so after leaving with Kabru. They didn't form the party until two years after they left the elves, which would give Rin plenty of time to try and learn from other adventurers on the Island, or to study up on her own. She'd probably be able to pick up some dungeon-crawling basics (like the water walk spell), as well as become familiar with the skill level and expression of skill common in different people with different backgrounds (hence why she is able to comment on the "textbook" academy wards).
Much like Marcille, Rin also seems to rely on a 'one size fits all' Big Boom method of dealing with monsters: lightning. We see the best example of its power in the fight with Chimera Falin:
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But we also see her cast it pretty recklessly in a few other places, including the end credits of the new anime ED, which I think provides a good example of the downsides to such an approach...
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Yeah, it is very much a 'get out of the way or get zapped' spell.
Especially since Marcille's offensive magic is self-taught and works very similarly, this definitely reinforces the idea that Rin figured most of this stuff out herself.
Outfit and Character Design
Dear sweet Rin of the Red And Black... how I love her design.
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First of all, her clothes are damaged. Despite the fact that Rin looks relatively well put together overall, her outfit is worn out. I have some theories on why this is that I'll get to in a bit, but for now I'll just touch on what this design communicates in general about it.
I think, just like with Kabru's horribly messy room, it creates a sense that there is something more complicated underneath the surface. Something that isn't being addressed or seen to, just as the dress hasn't been mended or replaced.
It also reflects her not caring a ton about her appearance. She's neat, but she's not concerned about being pretty, so she doesn't bother with fixing up her outfit after her dungeon crawls. This also fits with her perpetual scowl (which I will talk more about in a bit), and slightly disheveled hair.
Next: the gloves. At first I thought they might be a sort of uncomfortable-with-touch thing, but after skimming through the manga and some bonus content, I have another theory. Rin takes the gloves off to eat, as well as a few other instances, such as when working on a spell with Holm and Marcille in chapter 36
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This one is especially interesting because she has them on in the next chapter, during the fight with Falin. Since she also isn't wearing gloves during some of the Daydream Hour art of her outside of the dungeon, that leads me to believe that they are specifically for combat.
What does she need them for, though? Most other casters we see don't wear gloves. Well... just look at the other half of the page where she attacks Falin with lightning:
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She is enveloped by this spell. I said it before was pretty reckless magic, but maybe its not just a problem for her teammates, but for her as well.
So here's my theory: maybe the gloves are rubber, or some other electricity-resistant material? They might help protect her from her own magic. I don't know why a caster would need gloves for combat otherwise.
I also think this might be why her dress is tattered at the bottom, by the way. Especially since the Daydream Hour genderswap design doesn't have a similar problem with his outfit, since the tunic isn't as long.
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I will admit this is a bit of stretch/guess, but I think it's a fun one, and I wanted to share. I do think I'm right about the gloves being for dungeons/fighting specifically, at least. That seems pretty consistent throughout all of her appearances.
I also mentioned her scowl, so I'll touch on that briefly as well. The (fairly confirmed) explanation for Rin's expression is that she intentionally wears a frown to prevent her other expressions from showing through. I think it's important to emphasize that it's not just smiling that she is trying to suppress here - it's any strong emotion:
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Anyway, because I can, here is the art of Rin smiling.
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Rin and Kabru
I have talked a bit about Rin and Kabru's history, but I think it deserves its own section.
I think it's very interesting that Rin is pretty much the ONLY character in all of Dungeon Meshi that has explicit canonical romantic interesting in someone. It's literally part of the main summary sentence in her character profile.
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This could be sort of reductive as a way to describe a female character (and in some ways it still is), but I think in part the simplicity and directness of it actually is part of what makes it so interesting. Especially when on the very next page we see the comic about her backstory. "This mage is in love with Kabru" -> one page of a horribly traumatic event and a child frozen in shock with no one to comfort her. What does that do?
Well, in my opinion, it shows how much Rin focuses on Kabru as something to keep her in the present. In contrast with the immense loss she has experienced, her love for Kabru is current and alive. He has presumably been her anchor for years, and I think that her love is part of that anchor.
Adding to this, in contrast with how explicit her feelings are, she never seems to actively pursue Kabru. She complains about his potential interest in other women, but she doesn't really flirt. She doesn't let herself smile around him any more than anyone else, and she doesn't hide her bitterness or anger from him to present a more appealing persona.
As much as she craves Kabru's attention, and has stayed by his side for years, I don't know that she really wants to possess him. He seems to know about her feelings, more or less, and she seems to know that he knows. Maybe she believes he doesn't reciprocate and is respecting that, maybe she's afraid of what she could lose if she tried to change things, or maybe the change itself frightens her. In any case, though she's not exactly happy with the way things are between them, she doesn't seem to be trying to change that status quo.
A specific thing I'd also like to talk about with their relationship, beyond Rin's love for him, is her fear for him. As the Adventurer's Bible puts it, "she worries that his knack for dealing with whatever life throws at him might lead him to get too full of himself and end up in serious trouble."
Rin is an interesting mix of restrained and explosive, herself. Her magic is destructive, her temper seems to run hot (she gets annoyed easily, at least), and her feelings for Kabru are apparent. At the same time, she doesn't let her emotions show on her face, she is the one who bluntly states that the group has hit the limit of their abilities, and she doesn't act on those obvious feelings for Kabru. It's interesting, then, that what she fears for Kabru is that he won't restrain himself.
And a small personal idea about that as well: I wonder if she somewhat blames her parents for getting killed. Again, this is very speculative, but I think it's interesting that her fear for Kabru is that he will get too full of himself. Take up too much space. It's never really stated what Rin thinks of her parents, but it can be easy in grief to search for control, and control often means blame. If they hadn't been so confident, so flashy, would they still be alive...?
I don't know if she's ever thought like that, and it could well be that her fears for Kabru come from a totally different place. But it's an interesting connective thread between her past and present - the idea of "getting in trouble" for taking up too much space and being too confident in one's own abilities.
Miscellaneous Tidbits:
On that note, I'd like to wrap up the main part of this post, and move on to a few extra things that I couldn't find another place for.
Rin plays with her hair when she's stressed
Using stressed as a pretty big umbrella here, because I think it's hard to perfectly pin down all the emotions at play, but it is a habit of hers. Best displayed in chapter 32, but it shows up in other places, too.
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Her design contrasts with Marcille
This is a small thing, but I just love how much they are visual opposites.
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Rin wears red and black and has dark hair, Marcille wears blue and white and has light hair. Marcille cares a great deal for her hair and puts it up in elaborate hairstyles, and Rin's is mostly loose and a bit messy. Marcille was even educated at the Magic Academy, which Rin dislikes. They both have little capelets. Also they both look very cute in each other's clothes.
Rin knows Flamela (and they meet again in canon)
Nothing much is done with this in canon, but I think it’s super interesting that Flamela's squad are the ones that find Rin as a child and take her away to the west, and then they end up stuck in the dungeon together for a bit.
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Two days??? I'm so very curious what things were like between these three.
Aaaand I think that's all I have to say about Rin! For the time being at least. There's a lot more analysis that could be done about her and Kabru especially, but for this post I wanted to keep things at least somewhat anchored to canon facts, with only a layer or two of speculation on top.
If it isn't already obvious, I think Rin is a super interesting character with a ton of potential depth to explore. She mostly interacts with Kabru in canon, but has ties to a bunch of other characters: she and Marcille fill similar roles in their parties but have differing personalities and histories, she and Falin (and Laios) have been tremendously shaped by xenophobia and fear of magic common in the Northern Continent, her parents fled from conflict in the same region Shuro and his retainers are from, and she has history with Flamela and some of the second canary squad.
Her temper, her fear, her love... her repression and passion - they all inform her character, even in small ways, even with as little time as she spends on the page.
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edenesth · 5 months ago
Text
TWTHH Spinoff: Written in the Stars [2]
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Pairing: military strategist!Mingi x royal physician!reader
AU: historical au (Joseon era)
Word Count: 10.3k 🤡
Summary: Mingi had spent countless years searching for the angel who saved his life when he was on the verge of death. He believed god was on his side when she finally reappeared before him, but she was now so near yet so far, so unobtainable. No longer just a young medical trainee, she had become an esteemed royal physician—a woman working within the palace walls. And what did that mean? It meant she now belonged to His Majesty.
Part 1 | Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist
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"I still can't believe you actually said yes to him. What happened to love being a luxury for us, hm?" Subin teased, not letting you off the hook since she found out about the military strategist's bold invitation. That was surprising enough, but nothing shocked her more than your acceptance.
You sighed, tightening the bow of your hanbok before heading to the full-length mirror in your room to check your hair. "Oh, stop it. You know this is nothing more than a way to demonstrate our teamwork. Officer Song is a colleague, and we are simply taking the chance to network and show support for the union with Ruhon."
She rolled her eyes. "Sure, you keep telling yourself that, unnie."
You truly didn’t want to think much of it.
You were already planning to attend the banquet anyway, with or without Mingi's invitation. As one of the more senior and recognised royal physicians in the palace, your attendance at these events was mostly expected. While his attempts to spend time with you hadn't gone unnoticed, you treated them as nothing but friendly gestures.
As you finished adjusting your hanbok, you resolved to keep things strictly professional. Whatever he thought might happen, you would make it clear that you were unavailable. You would convince him to give up, knowing his efforts would only be in vain.
Right, let's get this over with.
The evening of the banquet arrived, and the palace buzzed with activity. Lanterns illuminated the courtyards, and the air was filled with music and laughter. Excitement filled you as you stepped out of the female physicians' quarters to find the tall and dashing military strategist already waiting. He wore a grand hanbok, a stark contrast to his usual training clothes. His hair was slicked back, and his hands were clasped behind his back as he paced, eyes fixed on the ground.
You took a deep breath to calm your racing heartbeat. After all, you were only human, and this was a stunning man before you. But you had to remind yourself that nothing was ever going to happen between you two and that you had only agreed to attend the event with him as a gesture of camaraderie.
Nothing more, nothing less.
After composing yourself, you cleared your throat and called out, "Officer Song, you really didn't have to come all the way here. I could have just met you at the grand hall along with everyone else."
Mingi perked up, his heart thundering at the sound of your voice. When he turned to face you, his breath momentarily caught at the sight of you so dressed up. You were always beautiful to him, but tonight, you were even more enchanting.
He bowed slightly and stepped closer. "You look… perfect, my lady."
You blinked rapidly, hoping the blush you felt wasn’t obvious on your face. He continued, "Of course, I had to come here. What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t? More importantly, you're not just anyone else to me, Royal Physician Ahn. You're my—"
Not wanting to hear the rest, you flashed a large, courteous smile. "Ah, we should probably head over if we don't want to be late. Let us go, Officer Song," you said, cutting him off. His smile faltered slightly before he nodded. "R-right, let us."
Throughout the night, the military strategist remained faithfully by your side. Unfortunately, his attentive gestures did not go unnoticed by those around you, leaving you flustered and repeatedly clarifying that you were merely colleagues.
"Really, Royal Physician Ahn? That's a shame, you two would make a beautiful couple," teased Lady Park. You sputtered, choking on your drink. She panicked and reached over to pat you on the back, glancing at a very concerned Mingi who was conversing with the general. With a reassuring smile, she mouthed, "I'll take care of her."
Officer Song resisted rolling his eyes as Seonghwa smiled dreamily at his adorable wife, not realising he was just as guilty of it—if only he knew he looked the same whenever you were around.
"I-I'm fine. Thank you, Lady Park. But I assure you, nothing can happen between us. It is forbidden; I am a woman of the palace."
The pregnant woman grinned in response. "So, are you saying that if you weren't a palace woman, you definitely would have given General Officer Song a chance?"
You sighed, offering her a half-hearted smile. "There's no use pondering that, my lady. It's impossible," you whispered the last part.
She softened, touching your shoulder gently. "Nothing is impossible if only you desire it hard enough, my dear."
Your heart warmed at her words, but you knew better than to believe them. With an appreciative nod, you gestured to her baby bump. "So, how has pregnancy been treating you, my lady?" you asked, steering the conversation away from dangerous territory. You were afraid of temptations and could not afford to give in to any of them.
The conversation with Lady Park was cut short when a certain fourth prince appeared behind her, hesitantly taking an uncertain step forward. You blinked, trying not to stare too obviously, but she noticed your eyes shifting toward something over her shoulder.
With furrowed brows, she wondered aloud, "Just what are you looking at, Royal Physician Ahn?" She turned and froze upon locking eyes with Prince Yeosang. As she moved to bow, he hurriedly reached out to stop her, gently holding her by her forearms.
"It's been a while, my lady. Would you… care to catch up?" he asked.
She bit her lip, turning to meet her husband's warm gaze. Seonghwa nodded, signalling that the decision was up to her, and she excused herself to speak with her friend. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the prince's one-sided feelings for Lady Park persisted. Everyone in Joseon had heard of His Highness' not-so-subtle advances back then. The gossip at that time was quite juicy, but it was good to see him accepting defeat gracefully. The once bratty fourth prince had disappeared; it seemed the general's wife truly had a strong hold on his heart, changing him for the better even with her firm rejection.
You were snapped out of your thoughts when your chaperone reappeared by your side. You weren't sure how to feel around the gentle giant. His presence was both comforting and unnerving.
"Everything alright?" Mingi asked softly, concern evident in his eyes.
"Yes, everything is fine," you replied, smiling up at him. "Just a bit of palace drama."
He chuckled, nodding in understanding. "Palace drama indeed. Shall we continue to mingle, or would you like to take a break?"
You appreciated his attentiveness, but the whirlwind of emotions from the evening had left you feeling somewhat drained. "A break sounds nice," you admitted.
Mingi beckoned for you to follow and you did, allowing him to lead you to a quieter corner of the grand hall. As you walked, you couldn't help but feel a mixture of gratitude and apprehension. The evening was proving to be far more eventful than you had anticipated, and you knew you had to stay vigilant against his allurements that seemed to be lurking at every turn.
As you both reached a more secluded area, he quickly said, "Wait here, I'll get you something to drink."
You sighed, reaching for his arm. "You don't have to do that, Officer Song. I don't want anyone to misunderstand. I've been meaning to tell you: there's nothing between us, and there never will be."
He paused, turning to face you properly. You looked away almost immediately, guilt gnawing at you as you caught a glimpse of the hurt reflected in his eyes. A heavy silence settled between you, each struggling to collect your thoughts.
Mingi knew winning your heart wouldn't be easy, but the early rejection still stung deeply. Finally, he spoke, his voice soft but steady. "I understand your concerns, truly. But my intentions are genuine. I'm sorry if I've caused you any discomfort or misunderstanding. I just want you to know how much I care."
You bit your lip, the sincerity in his words making it even harder. "I appreciate your honesty, but I have my duties and responsibilities. My life is here in the palace, and I can't afford distractions."
He nodded slowly, taking a step back to give you space. "I respect your dedication. I just… before I let you go, there's one thing I need to know. We've actually met each other years ago. Did you… did you remember me when you saw me again?"
Your expression remained unreadable as you mustered a response. After what felt like an eternity, with the military strategist standing with bated breath and his heart pounding in his ears, you finally met his eyes and softly said, "No, I'm afraid don't know what you're talking about. I'm sorry, Officer Song…"
His heart sank. "Oh."
The weight of his disappointment hung in the air. He took a step back, struggling to mask the hurt that flashed across his face. He had held onto the hope that perhaps, even faintly, you had remembered him. That tiny hope had been a beacon for him, a justification for his persistence. But now, it seemed all for naught.
What if His Majesty had been right?
"That's… that's okay," he finally said, forcing a weak smile. "I must have been mistaken."
You nodded, the guilt intensifying as you watched him grapple with his emotions. "I'm really sorry. Perhaps you have."
Except that was a complete lie.
You remembered. In truth, you had never forgotten. How could you? To have seen Song Mingi in person was to understand that he wasn't someone easy to forget, even when pale and sickly on his deathbed. He was undeniably gorgeous. Beyond his appearance and physique, his warm gaze, soft touch, and sweet words lingered in your memory, impossible to leave behind.
You'd recognised him since day one.
It took everything in you to maintain a composed façade and steady your racing heart as you locked eyes with the military strategist for the first time in years. Before you stood a man, well and strong, embodying everything you had ever wanted.
But you had to quell your desires, silence your dreams, and dismiss any thoughts of the impossible. Years had passed, and you had assumed he was married by now. Later, you discovered he wasn't.
Yet, it changed nothing.
You were now a palace woman, and that sealed the hopelessness of your situation. So you chose to pretend, to feign ignorance of your shared past. It was for the best—for him and for you.
Sometimes, you wondered if you were trying to convince him or yourself more. It was the very reason you dreaded seeing him; not out of dislike or annoyance, but because you were just as captivated by him as he was by you. Had you been an ordinary physician outside the palace walls, you would have accepted his love in a heartbeat.
But things were different now.
Rules were rules.
You and General Officer Song were a beautiful impossibility, and you had to do everything to keep it that way.
Yet, his constant presence was a quiet storm, eroding your resolve. Every gentle gesture, each attempt to show he could protect and cherish you, made it increasingly difficult. His persistence, so tender and genuine, weakened your defences, and you were frightened—terrified, even—of the feelings blooming within you.
Why must he be so cruel?
His kindness, his sincerity, his unwavering dedication—they all tugged at your heartstrings, weakening your defenses. Every time he appeared with that soft smile, every time he looked at you with those earnest eyes, it became increasingly difficult to remember why you had to keep him at arm's length.
And tonight, standing in the secluded corner of the grand hall, facing the man you had spent years trying to forget, you felt your carefully constructed walls begin to crumble. The reality of your situation pressed heavily on you, a constant reminder of the boundaries that could not be crossed.
Song Mingi, with his genuine concern and quiet strength, embodied everything you had ever wanted but could never have. His mere presence was a cruel reminder of what could have been in another life, another world. A world where you were free to love him without consequence.
But you weren't in that world. You were here, bound by duty and rules that were impossible to break. So you swallowed your feelings, pushed down the burgeoning hope, and forced yourself to remember the impossible nature of your situation.
Because letting yourself love him—truly, deeply love him—would only lead to heartache for you both. And you couldn't bear the thought of causing him any more pain than you already have.
You sighed, swallowing the lump forming in your throat as you gazed up at him solemnly. "I, uh… I'm feeling rather tired. I shall retire to my quarters for the night. Thank you for accompanying me tonight, Officer Song. It truly is a joy to befriend Lady Park. It's also wonderful to finally see Joseon and Ruhon getting along well. It seems like things are really looking up for us."
But they weren't.
Both of you thought it, but neither dared to say it aloud.
You smiled courteously, bowing respectfully. "Goodnight, Officer Song. I hope you enjoy the rest of the banquet with your friends."
Just as you turned to leave, he reached out an arm to stop you, though not touching you. Damn it. Damn him and his gentlemanly gestures. "Wait, my lady. Please allow me to escort you back—"
You bowed again, cutting him off, afraid to hear the rest of it. "Please enjoy the rest of the banquet."
With that, you left, leaving behind a strong man staring longingly after you like a lovesick puppy. You didn't have the courage to spare a final glance at him, knowing another look at his pleading eyes would make you give in, and you couldn't have that. Not now. Not ever. You needed to put an end to this.
As you walked away, your heart ached with every step. The distance between you and Mingi grew, but the weight of your emotions only became heavier. The grand hall's festive atmosphere faded into the background as you focused on maintaining your resolve.
Arriving back at the female physician's quarters, you couldn't summon the energy to put on yet another fake smile for Subin. Your friend waited excitedly for you by the entrance, but her beam faltered as she registered the expression on your face.
"You told him to stop, didn't you?" she asked softly, reaching over to grab your hand.
You nodded wordlessly, too weary to say anything more. Subin wrapped an arm around your shoulder, guiding you into your room, murmuring, "It'll be okay… I'm here."
You broke into a tiny smile, leaning into her hold appreciatively. Her warmth and understanding were a balm to your frayed nerves. As you settled into the familiar comfort of your quarters, the weight of the evening began to lift, if only slightly.
Subin's presence was a reminder that you weren't alone, even in your struggle to keep your feelings at bay. She helped you sit down, then knelt beside you, her eyes filled with concern and compassion.
"I know it's hard," she said gently, "but you're strong. You did what you had to do."
You sighed, closing your eyes as you leaned back against the wall. "I just... I can't believe I'm saying this, but I just wish things were different, you know?"
She nodded, squeezing your hand. "I know, unnie. But remember, you're not alone in this. We'll get through it together. Besides, you said it yourself: we have each other, and we have our duty. That's enough. It has to be."
Her words, though simple, offered a small measure of solace. You knew the path ahead would be challenging and that things with the military strategist would never be the same again, but with her by your side, you felt a glimmer of hope.
"Trust me, you'll get over it in no time."
God, I sure hope so.
Meanwhile, Mingi did his best to keep it together for the rest of the event. After all, you had told him to enjoy it with his friends, so he did—or at least he tried his hardest. Feigning a huge grin, he returned to General Park and Royal Secretary Choi's side, casually mentioning that you had retired early. He didn’t want to burden them with his love troubles; the last thing he wanted was their pity. He didn't need to feel any worse than he already did.
Despite having braced himself for the possibility of hearing those words, the pain of your rejection cut deep. "There's nothing between us, and there never will be." Those words echoed in his mind like a broken record as he lay in bed that night, unable to find solace in sleep. He was caught between the urge to fight harder for you and the need to honour your wishes.
Yet, he couldn't shake the image of your face when he asked if you remembered him. The fleeting look of conflict troubled him deeply. Why did you seem so torn? Why did you hesitate? Could you have been lying? If so, why hide the truth? He needed answers. Whether or not you would ever be his, he needed to know them.
Mingi resolved to seek those answers, slowly and carefully. In the process, he hoped to soften your seemingly hardened heart, guarded by steel walls that showed cracks despite your efforts to conceal them. He might have been a fool most of the time, but his attentiveness had never been keener than now. All for you. Because he believed fate must have brought you back into his life for a reason.
"You good, hyung?" Junghoon asked, feeling his mentor shift on the bed for what seemed like the thousandth time that night.
The older man nodded despite the internal turmoil within him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Go to sleep already, young man."
"I'm trying... if only you'd stop moving."
Heaving a sigh, Mingi turned to face his apprentice. "Hey, what do you think it means when a woman tells you to stop pursuing her but looks really sad while saying it?"
The younger man rolled his eyes. There goes my sleep, he thought as he pushed himself up into a seated position, legs folded and hands intertwined. "Alright, sit your dumbass up. Time for Love Lessons for Dummies 101."
"Are you sure this is going to work? She's not—" Mingi's words were cut off by his apprentice, who mocked him with air quotes. "'Not like other girls.' Yeah, yeah, I know. That's what every man says about his crush. Trust me, women are all the same. Nothing melts their hearts more than an attentive and caring man. Now go before she's already out for her lunch break."
Junghoon had finally convinced his mentor to see his dream girl after avoiding the royal medical hall for nearly a week, giving you the space you needed. But Mingi knew that to win your heart, he couldn’t stay away. He'd have to approach gently and slowly.
With a handmade lunchbox in hand, the military strategist's first mission was to show you he wasn’t bound by gender norms, relegating kitchen tasks only to women. He wanted to demonstrate what having a husband like him would be like. If you wished, he could drop by each day with lunch prepared just for you.
His heart pounded with anticipation when he arrived at the medical hall for the first time in what felt like forever. He had missed you like crazy, each day without seeing you dragging on like a year. As he stepped inside and approached the counter, confusion set in when you were nowhere in sight. Could you have gone out with the first batch of royal physicians for your lunch break? That was odd; you always preferred the second batch.
"Good day, Officer Song. Are you injured or feeling unwell?" one of your colleagues asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. Mingi blinked and cleared his throat. "N-no, I'm here for Royal Physician Ahn. Is she already out for lunch?"
Your colleague suppressed a knowing grin, pursing her lips before answering, "She's not. She hasn't been in for a few days now. She's been down with food poisoning ever since attending the royal banquet with you."
Mingi felt his heart sink.
He muttered a quick thanks and dashed out, his feet moving automatically towards the female physicians' quarters. Nothing else mattered; he needed to see you, to know you were okay, to apologise for not taking better care of you that night.
Meanwhile, you pressed your face into your pillow, curling into a ball and clutching the comforter around you as another stab of pain hit your stomach. The discomfort was unbearable, making it impossible to go to work today. Seeing your agony, the head of the royal physicians had allowed you a day or two to feel better before returning to the royal medical hall.
As the pain subsided and you slowly felt a wave of drowsiness enveloping you, an unusual rustle from outside alerted you. Someone was there. But who? Everyone else should be at work. Was it Subin coming to check on you? Your thoughts were interrupted when your breath hitched, realising a man's silhouette was standing by your room entrance through the paper walls.
What fool would dare come here, a place meant only for women? Not even eunuchs were allowed in, let alone a well-built man of his stature. Was it a prison escapee? Lord knows what he'd do if he found you alone. Before you could attempt to get up and go someplace safe, another sharp pain hit, and the wince you let out was inevitable. Unfortunately, the man heard you and immediately reached to pull the doors open.
As the door slid open, your heart raced, fear gripping you as you braced for the worst. But instead of a stranger, you saw Mingi's concerned face. His eyes widened in alarm as he rushed to your side.
"Physician Ahn, are you alright?" he asked, his voice filled with worry.
"O-Officer Song? What in the world are you doing here?" you managed to say between breaths, the pain still lingering.
"I heard you were sick. I had to make sure you were okay," he replied, his voice softening as he knelt beside your bed.
The concern in his eyes was genuine, and despite the awkwardness of the situation, a small part of you felt relieved. "You're not supposed to... you shouldn't be here," you whispered, the rules and propriety still at the forefront of your mind.
"I know, but I couldn't stay away," he said, gently placing a hand on your arm. "I'm here to make up for my mistake. I should have been more attentive. This is all my fault."
You frowned, pushing yourself up to a sitting position as the pain subsided again. "What do you mean by that? How is any of this your fault? This has nothing to do with you."
He sighed. "Nonsense. If only I’d been more attentive to what they served you at the banquet, you wouldn’t have been suffering from food poisoning this badly."
"F-food poisoning...? Who told you that?" you asked, already having a clue. He twiddled his fingers nervously. "One of your colleagues. I was at the medical hall earlier and you weren’t there. She told me you were sick, and I came here as fast as I could..."
Squeezing your eyes shut, you were exasperated at your friends’ mischievousness. They hadn’t let you live it down since learning you had gone to the royal banquet with the military strategist, though they didn’t know what had transpired between you two or how the night had ended. The teasing was one thing, but you didn’t think they’d actually go this far. But of course, they probably didn’t think this fool would actually come here himself instead of sending a court lady to check on you.
You sighed. "I don't have food poisoning… it's just that time of the month. You know, the women thing…" His eyes widened in horror, and his cheeks turned red with embarrassment. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, muttering, "Gosh, why'd she lie about this?"
You pulled your comforter close as another cramp hit. "Listen, I'm not in the mood to talk right now. Besides, you really shouldn't be here. I appreciate you checking on me, but you should leave. We'd both be in huge trouble if someone saw you here."
He nodded quickly, gesturing to the bag he had brought with him. "Right, I-I'll leave immediately. These are for you, by the way. I made them myself. Please enjoy them when you're feeling hungry."
Usually, you would have melted at that, but you really needed him gone. "Yes, thank you."
As if the world had something against you, just as the military strategist neared the door, another familiar silhouette appeared at the entrance. "Are you feeling any better, my dear? I've come with some heat packs to soothe the cramps," the head of the royal physicians called out, her hands reaching for the door handle.
Mingi froze, and you panicked, all menstrual pain forgotten as you jumped out of bed and rushed towards him, exclaiming loudly, "I'm feeling much better, Head Physician Seo! Thank you for your concern. Would you give me a minute? I'm not properly dressed."
You sighed in relief when that worked like a charm as she removed her hand from the door handle and took a step back. "Oh, my apologies. Of course, let me know when you're ready."
Scanning the room in alarm, you hurried to the cabinet that usually held your mattress, pillows, and comforters when you weren't sleeping, now empty. "Get in here, quick!" you whispered urgently. He obeyed, moving as stealthily as he could to avoid making a sound and raising suspicion.
Oh god, can things get any worse today?
After shooting him a stern look and pressing your pointer finger against your lips to signal a firm 'be quiet,' you shut the cabinet doors and took a deep breath. Plastering on a huge smile, you opened the door for your superior, letting her in. She smiled warmly, handing you the heat packs she'd brought. "Is everything okay? I thought I heard someone in here earlier."
Your breath caught as you noticed Mingi's bag still by your bed. Quickly moving to conceal it with your hanbok, you feigned innocence. "Huh, really? That's weird. It's only me. I'm sure it's nothing."
She shrugged and nodded. "You're probably right. I guess all the lack of sleep must be getting to me. Well then, it’s good to see you doing better. I shall get back to work then."
You mustered a fake laugh. "That must be it, ma'am. Thank you so much for the heat packs. I really appreciate it."
She patted your cheeks softly. "Anything for my best physician. Hope to see you back at work tomorrow."
You nodded, waving goodbye as she left. As you shut the door, exhaustion overwhelmed you, and you sank to your knees. The cabinet doors creaked open as the tall man emerged, muttering, "Phew, that was close—"
As if jinxing it, your superior returned. "Oh yes, my dear!" she called through the door.
Rushing up to Mingi, you smacked a palm over his mouth to shut him up as you answered her, "Yes, ma'am?"
She chuckled. "I heard that General Officer Song of yours dropped by the medical hall earlier, seemingly with lunch prepared for you. Don't be so hard on him, hm? I know we’re not allowed to love, but he's a sweet guy. At least be a friend to him. We’re still allowed to have friends, you know? Please don’t deprive yourself of that right too."
You swallowed, meeting Mingi’s eyes as they softened at your pained expression. "I understand. Thank you, ma'am."
Finally, she left for good this time. Eyes locked with his, you pondered her words. Could you really be friends with this man? Just... friends? Perhaps that was all you could ever be.
In that moment of closeness, you became acutely aware of your position, your hand still covering his mouth, his hands gently supporting you on your back. The atmosphere crackled with tension until it was broken by the rumble of his stomach. Flustered, you withdrew, your heart racing.
What in the world just happened...?
With a nervous bite of your lip, you dared to break the silence. "You uhh... haven't eaten either, have you?"
He shook his head bashfully, his eyes reflecting a mix of embarrassment and longing. "No, I haven't."
Oh, to hell with it.
You gestured towards the lunch he had brought. "Join me then."
Things had obviously shifted between you since then, and it did not go unnoticed by those around you. General Officer Song started coming by the medical hall at least once a week, no longer pretending to have an injury but simply to share lunch with you.
As friends.
That was what you told your friends, colleagues and every other palace staff whenever they tried to tease you. Yes, friends. That was all there was to it. All you both were ever going to be. Nothing more, nothing less. Just friends. Good friends. That was all you would allow… all you were allowed, really.
But you were happy with it. You had to be. It wasn't something you had a say in.
This was your life.
Mingi's visits became an oddly comforting routine. Every week, he would show up with a handmade lunch, and you would sit together, talking and laughing. The bond between you grew stronger, and although you constantly reminded yourself that you were just friends, there was an undeniable warmth in your interactions.
One afternoon, after the military strategist had patiently waited for you to finish caring for a patient, the two of you shared lunch in a quiet corner of the medical hall. He looked at you with a soft, contemplative expression. "You know," he began, "the first time I saw you, I thought you were the most admirable woman to exist. I'm glad I wasn't wrong. You really are an angel sent by the heavens."
You felt a flutter in your chest but quickly suppressed it, grinning softly. "Am I really? You know I'm not the only female physician around. The others are just as admirable."
Yes, but they're not you.
He nodded, though his eyes held a depth of emotion you couldn't quite decipher. "I suppose you're right," he said gently.
Not wanting to dwell on the serious atmosphere, you playfully nudged him on the shoulder. "Of course I am. I'm always right. And I bet you were a complete crybaby the day we first met, wailing like a child as you received treatment."
He scoffed, pressing a hand to his chest dramatically and feigning offence. "I was not. I'll have you know I was the most courageous soldier on site that day."
Brave enough to ask you out.
"Sure you were," you mocked sarcastically, sticking your tongue out at him. Your heart warmed internally because he was right. You remembered how calm he was despite the pain he endured. But he could never know you remembered. Never. That would complicate things too much, and you didn't need that. Not now, not ever.
Things were perfect as they were.
Or were they?
Irked by your teasing, he swiftly reached out to snatch a piece of dumpling—your favourite—from your lunchbox and stuffed it into his mouth as revenge. You let out a surprised yelp, smacking him on the arm. "Wha—hey! That was my last piece! Give it back, Song Mingi!" Your laughter filled the space as you wrestled with him, his eyes disappearing into adorable slits as he hurriedly chewed on the dumpling, annoying you with it. He chortled, speaking through his mouth full, "Ha! That's what you get!"
The fun was abruptly cut short when the head of the royal physicians appeared at the doorway. "Am I interrupting something?" she asked, her tone light but curious.
You sputtered and shook your head, immediately pushing yourself off the tall man. "Absolutely not, ma'am. He was just about to leave. We're done eating," you said, glaring playfully at Mingi as he swallowed the last of your dumpling.
The military strategist bowed respectfully to the elderly woman, seizing the opportunity to escape your wrath. "I apologise for taking up so much of Royal Physician Ahn's time. I'll leave at once," he said.
She shook her head, smiling warmly. "Don't apologise. I'm not sure I've seen Physician Ahn this happy in a good while. Please stay for a bit more if you wish, Officer Song."
Both your cheeks grew warm at her words as Mingi scrambled to pack up his belongings and leave, clearly shy. "Thank you, ma'am, but I really shouldn't. Besides, I have training to attend as well."
With a final bow to you both, he was gone, leaving you standing there, your heart still racing from the sudden interruption and the unexpected compliment from your superior.
Head Physician Seo approached you, a knowing smile on her face. "You and General Officer Song seem really close. Are you sure there's nothing more going on?"
You laughed lightly, shaking your head. "We're good friends. That's all."
She raised an eyebrow but didn't press further. "Well, as long as you're happy. I'm glad you took my advice and allowed him in."
You nodded, reaffirming your own belief. "You were right, it's nice to have someone who genuinely understands and cares."
In the back of your mind, you couldn't ignore the ache of wanting something more, but you reminded yourself that this was your reality. And so, you continued to cherish the time spent with him, finding solace in the friendship that had blossomed between you.
As the weeks turned into months, the boundaries of your friendship were constantly tested. Every shared smile, every lingering glance, and every comforting touch made it harder to maintain the illusion. Deep down, you both knew what you had was special, even if you could never openly acknowledge it.
Despite the constraints, you found happiness in the moments you shared. Each lunch, each conversation, and each quiet moment of understanding reinforced the bond between you. The stolen glances when no one was looking, the way he would subtly take care of you, and the warmth that filled your heart when he was near—it all painted a picture of a love that couldn't be spoken.
In the silence of the night, when you lay awake thinking about him, you allowed yourself to dream of a different life. A life where societal expectations didn't dictate your choices, and you could be free to express your true feelings. But for now, those dreams remained just that—dreams.
You took comfort in the friendship that had become an integral part of your life. It was a bittersweet reality, but one you had come to accept. And in those precious moments you shared, you found a contentment that made the impossible feel almost within reach.
Meanwhile, Mingi found himself growing more hopeful with every step closer to you. Though it hurt to hear you remind everyone that what you shared was merely friendship, he was almost certain you returned his feelings. Yet, he didn’t want to make assumptions; he needed to hear it from you. He was prepared to wait a long time, even forever, as long as you continued to allow him to be near you. This closeness was already more than he had ever hoped for, and a part of him had accepted that this might be the way things were meant to be.
Being friends was better than nothing.
"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that," Junghoon smirked before letting out a whine as his mentor hit him on the back.
"Shut up, kid. What do you know about love anyway? Taking advice from you nearly got me and her in trouble," Mingi grumbled.
The apprentice rolled his eyes, rubbing his back. "Oh, please, don't act like it didn't help you get close to her. I dare you to say you didn’t enjoy having her pressed up against you that day, keeping your mouth shut with her hand, all alone in her room—"
Mingi slapped a hand over the younger man’s mouth, eyes wide and face burning with embarrassment. "If you don't shut your trap right now, I'll tell His Majesty you’d like to quit and join the eunuchs."
That was all it took to silence Junghoon.
Truthfully, the apprentice was right, being close to you had made Mingi greedy for your affections. He often wondered what it would be like to have you willingly run into his arms. But the military strategist knew that was probably as far as he would ever get. Friends were not meant to be any closer than that, and he had come to accept it. If only you would stop making things more difficult.
One day, a soldier was seriously injured during training due to faulty weapons, and the royal medical hall was notified. You appeared at the training grounds with Subin beside you not long after, slightly out of breath as your eyes searched hastily for something or… someone. When you didn’t find who you were looking for, you blurted out, "Where's Officer Song? Is he okay?"
The soldiers greeting you furrowed their brows in confusion. "Officer Song…? Yes, he's fine. It's not him who got injured. Did someone tell you that by mistake?"
You sputtered messily, flustered for giving yourself away, while your childhood friend suppressed her giggle beside you. "O-oh, no... I just... I assumed it was him since he gets injured nearly every week. Never mind that, please take us to the injured soldier."
"Yes, my lady. Come with me."
Quickly, you followed the man, eyes glued to his back, not wanting to catch any knowing glances thrown your way. Unbeknownst to you, Song Mingi was hidden by a stand and had heard everything, struggling to keep the smile off his face at your concern. Were you thinking about him just as much as he thought about you? Were you worried about him? Did you... feel the same?
He desperately wanted to hear it from you but dared not ask the questions, fearing the answers you'd give him—answers that he knew would never reflect your true feelings. He watched you tend to the injured soldier from a distance, the smile lingering on his face, feeling a warmth that hadn’t been there before. Though it stung to always be reminded that what you shared was nothing more than friendship, he clung to the moments when your actions betrayed your words, showing a deeper, unspoken bond.
For now, he would be content with this.
Until he couldn't.
He arrived at the medical hall the next day with lunchboxes in hand, ready to spend time with you as usual. Instead, he was met with the devastating news that you had been dispatched to a plague-ridden village to provide assistance. His heart fell, and his world crumbled.
"I don't understand. What do you mean she's gone, my King? She was just here yesterday."
"Forget her, Officer Song. I told you it's impossible to be with her," said the ruler, rubbing a hand on his temple. "She volunteered to go without hesitation. I think you have your answer loud and clear. And as much I hate to say this, we're not sure she will return from this trip. Most physicians going on such missions are like soldiers going to war; they risk their lives and could be gone for months or even years. You deserve someone who can stay by your side."
The King's words cut deep, but Mingi's mind was a whirlwind of worry and despair. The thought of you in danger, far away, made it hard for him to breathe. The idea of losing you, of not knowing if you were safe or if you would ever come back, was unbearable.
"Where is this village, Your Majesty?"
The elderly man sighed deeply, shaking his head. "What will it take for you to give up? You'll only end up in pain, as if you haven't already been in enough pain. She has denied all your attempts from the start. Why do you do this to yourself, hm?"
Officer Song clenched his fists, his voice trembling with emotion. "Because love isn't about possession. Love is unconditional. I don't care if she will never accept my love in this life; I will continue to be there for her, to protect and care for her as long as I am alive. I'll be damned if I let her face all that danger on her own. So, I'm asking again, Your Majesty, where exactly is this village?"
The desperation in his voice was palpable, the rawness of his love laid bare. He would do anything, go anywhere, to ensure your safety. For the military strategist, there was no greater purpose than being there for you, no matter the cost.
Meanwhile, you struggled to keep yourself together as you arrived at the terror-stricken village. The place had been overtaken by a sudden, rapidly spreading disease, claiming lives at a frightening pace. Violently woken in the middle of the night by Head Physician Seo, you joined the royal physicians gathered in the main hall to hear the grim news. Guri, the very village where you and Subin had lost everything, was now cursed with another wave of illness, intent on wiping out the population and destroying families again.
But you were stronger now.
You would rather die trying than let more innocent villagers endure what you did all those years ago. This time, you were capable of saving lives. Without a second thought, you and your friend volunteered to go. It wasn't until you were in the carriage that you remembered a certain Officer Song. Crestfallen, you realised that perhaps this was all for the best. Maybe, with your absence, he could finally move on and find someone with whom he could have a future, instead of being held back by you.
And you... you would be doing the very thing you had trained for all your life. There was no time to dwell on matters of the heart.
Forget him, lives are at stake.
As you arrived in Guri, the sight was both familiar and heartbreaking. The streets were eerily quiet, with only the occasional sound of distant weeping or the hollow coughs of the afflicted. You, Subin, and the rest of the royal physicians immediately set to work; assessing the situation and organising the sick villagers for treatment.
"Help my mother, please!"
"It hurts, make it stop!"
"I don't want to die yet... I'm scared."
Doing your best to calm the terrified villagers, your mind was a whirlwind of medical procedures and strategies to contain the spread. Every moment was a battle against time, a race to save as many lives as possible. But amidst the chaos, thoughts of Mingi lingered at the edge of your mind. His gummy smile, his stupidly cute laughter, the way his eyes lit up when he saw you—they all haunted you, a bittersweet reminder of what you had left behind.
Sometimes, it felt like those thoughts of him were the only thing keeping you going. Nearly a week had passed, and the situation had only slightly improved. With minimal sleep and just enough food to keep you alive, you worked tirelessly to tend to the sick. All the while, you wished you had a certain tall, handsome, and silly strategist to help lighten the constantly heavy atmosphere. At this point, you had lost count of the times you had imagined him by your side. The imagination could be so vivid, you were convinced you were hallucinating from the immense lack of rest.
"Need a hand, my lady?"
You froze, your actions of reaching for the top shelf of the makeshift clinic for some medicine halted at the familiar voice that had been haunting your well-being for the past week. Shit, were you hearing things now? Surely, it was the sleep deprivation acting up.
It can't be.
But then, you turned around, and there he was. General Officer Song, standing in the doorway, looking just as real and solid as ever. His eyes held a mix of concern and determination, and he was carrying a medical kit of his own.
"Mingi?" you whispered, almost afraid that speaking his name would shatter the illusion.
He stepped closer, a gentle smile on his face. "Yes, it's me. I'm here."
To his surprise, you were angry when you realised it was really him and not just a hallucination. "What… in the world are you doing here?" you questioned, your voice filled with frustration and disbelief.
His smile fell. "I came to help—"
You cut him off. "This isn't a joke, Song Mingi! This is serious. People are dying! You shouldn't be here just because you wish to keep pursuing me or anything stupid!"
His expression hardened with determination. "That's exactly why I'm here—because I can't lose you!"
You were left speechless, grappling with the rush of emotions at his sudden presence as well as his words. You felt conflicted, overwhelmed by the happiness that he was really here in the flesh, anger at his recklessness, fear for his survival, and frustration because you wanted so badly to run to him but knew you could not.
After what felt like an eternity, you sighed and tossed him a handkerchief. "Cover your nose and mouth with this at all times. Since you're here, make yourself useful. Get that bag of herbs and come with me. We have no time to waste."
As he opened his mouth to speak, you shot him a warning glare. "Save your breath. If you do not intend to work, please leave."
With a firm nod, he complied, grabbing the bag of herbs and following you into the chaos. Despite the tension, having him there added a strange sense of comfort and determination, and together, you continued to fight the disease that had plagued Guri.
The entire day passed by in a blur, just like the previous ones. There was not a moment of respite as you rushed around, with Mingi following you obediently, doing as he was told without question. Subin and your other colleagues raised surprised brows at his presence, but the situation left no room for teasing or questions.
At the end of the day, even when things had calmed down a little and most villagers were asleep, your work was far from done. You sat by the bed of a small child who was badly affected by the disease, your tired hands rinsing and wringing a towel repeatedly, wiping the sweat from his tiny head over and over to ensure his fever didn’t worsen. Mingi remained by your side, watching you care for the child.
Sensing your lethargic movements, he gently offered, "Here, let me do it." He reached out for the cloth, and you gave in, handing it to him. He took your spot, and you moved aside to make space for him on the bed, finally having the opportunity to take a good look at him since his arrival.
His face was etched with concern and determination, his usual playful demeanour replaced by a steadfast resolve. He worked with a quiet intensity, carefully tending to the child as if his life depended on it. The sight filled you with a mixture of emotions—gratitude, admiration, and a touch of sorrow.
"You shouldn't have come," you whispered, the weight of the day's events pressing down on you. "But... thank you."
He glanced at you, his eyes softening. "I had to. I couldn’t just stay behind knowing you were here, facing this alone."
You sighed, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I'm sorry for the harsh words I said. I was just... worried about you. I still am."
"And I was worried about you," he replied, his voice firm yet gentle. "We’re in this together now. We'll get through it."
Shaking your head, you squeezed your eyes shut. "It's not going to be easy. You don't understand… this, Mingi. This village was once my home. I was born here, and for the first few years of my life, I had a family. Until a plague, one similar to this one, broke out, taking my parents and siblings, leaving me with nothing," you explained, your voice breaking as you finally revealed your past.
He sat, shell-shocked, learning about your tragic history for the first time. He hadn’t known you had endured such a tough life, and it only strengthened his affection and admiration for you. You were even stronger than he had perceived.
"And that's why I was so afraid of seeing you here," you continued, your voice trembling. "Because I… I can't lose you too."
His breath hitched at your words, a moment of silence enveloping the room before he dared to cover your hand gently with his bigger one, whispering a soft, "Really?"
Embarrassed, you cleared your throat and nodded, avoiding his eyes. "Yes, because you're a good friend to me."
He chuckled, nodding in defeat. "Right, of course." He knew better than to expect anything more by now. He was just glad you no longer pushed him away.
That was all that mattered.
The following days settled into the same gruelling routine, but your shoulders undeniably felt lighter with Mingi's presence. His unwavering support and the arrival of the physicians who had raised you and Subin provided much-needed relief. Their presence brought a sense of comfort and familiarity.
On a slower day, the military strategist sat with one of the senior physicians, assisting with brewing medicine. Catching the tall man's eyes glued to your busy figure in the next room, Kyungsoo, who had been like an older brother to you, smiled and remarked, "Quite the workaholic, isn't she? Nothing can stop her from working. She's been that way for as long as we can all remember."
"She really is," Officer Song replied.
Through your mentors, he learned more about your childhood years. Kyungsoo shared stories of how hard you had worked and studied to get where you were, all to repay them for taking you in. Mingi now saw the depth of your dedication and the sacrifices you had made to become the renowned royal physician you are today.
As he watched you tirelessly care for the villagers, a realisation struck him. It might be selfish to want to tie you down in marriage just because he thought he loved you. If he truly loved you, he should let you do what you loved. You had fought so hard to achieve your dreams; how could he possibly take that away from you?
His heart ached as he finally understood the wisdom in His Majesty's words. Maybe you really were not meant to be, not in this life. Perhaps in the next, he thought to himself, his eyes lingering on you with a mixture of admiration and sorrow.
For now, he would support you in the best way he could—by standing by your side, helping you save lives, and cherishing the moments you shared. Because that, he realised, was also a form of love.
You've won, my King. I yield.
You had somehow felt the distance Mingi seemed to be putting between you, no matter how minuscule. You were hyper-aware of him, always had been, so this change, despite how small and unnoticed by the rest, bothered you more than you cared to admit. Was he growing tired of this? Of you? Perhaps he was realising how impossible it was to reach you and was giving up.
And who could blame him, really?
He deserved to be free; free to love another, to love someone who could give him so much more, all the things you never could.
"Hey, everything okay?" Subin asked, noting how you had nearly disposed of a new bandage instead of a used one.
You snapped out of your thoughts, apologising for the mistake as you rubbed your eyes. "Oh, I'm fine. Just tired, that's all."
She sighed, squeezing your shoulder. "It's Officer Song, isn't it?"
You stilled. "Huh? I-I don't know what you're talking about—"
She rolled her eyes, cutting you off. "Save it, unnie. I'm tired of hiding it from you. He's already received permission from His Majesty to pursue you. That's why he's been so bold in his attempts. If you feel the same way about him, then please, for the love of god, stop putting yourself and him through this nonsense any longer."
Your heart pounded as her words sank in. "Permission from His Majesty?" you echoed, disbelief and confusion in your voice.
She nodded firmly. "Yes, my dear friend. He's been allowed to court you on one condition—only if you willingly agree to it. That’s why he’s here, risking his life. He’s doing it all for you. If you care about him even a fraction of how much he cares about you, you need to let him know. This back-and-forth is tearing both of you apart."
You swallowed hard, grappling with the revelation. It felt as if a door had opened, one you had convinced yourself was forever locked.
"But Subin-ah... what if he realises I'm not worth the effort?" you whispered, voicing your deepest fear.
Her eyes softened. "That's not for you to decide. Let him make his own choices. If he’s here, fighting for you, it means you are worth everything to him. Don’t push him away because of your own insecurities. Give him—give yourself—a chance."
Before you could process her words, chaos erupted as sudden screams filled the air, panicked villagers running in all directions. You rushed outside to see what was happening, your heart pounding in your chest. Amid the commotion, you finally caught on to someone yelling, "Fire! Fire! There's a fire in the kitchen!"
Gasping, you spotted billowing black smoke rising from a hut at the back, where the kitchen was situated. Turning to Subin with wide eyes, you began, "I-isn't that where—"
She nodded before you could finish, confirming your fears. "Officer Song and Kyungsoo oppa were brewing medicine!"
Without a second thought, you sprinted towards the kitchen, your mind racing. The heat and smoke intensified with each step closer. Villagers and fellow physicians frantically attempted to extinguish the flames with buckets of water, but the fire raged on.
"Kyungsoo oppa! Mingi-yah!" you shouted, your voice trembling with fear and urgency.
Amid the thick smoke, Kyungsoo stumbled out alone, coughing violently. You rushed to him, desperation gripping your heart. "O-oppa, where is he? Where's Song Mingi?!"
Pointing towards the kitchen, nearly engulfed in flames, the senior physician gasped, "That fool's still in there. He insists on saving the medicine. We need to get him out, now!"
Your heart pounded with dread. "I'll go!" But Kyungsoo grabbed your arm, panic in his eyes. "No, it's too dangerous—"
Ignoring his warning, you darted inside.
Your heart plummeted when you spotted Mingi foolishly attempting to salvage the pot of medicine. "Stop, you idiot! Leave it!" He froze at the sound of your voice, turning to see you. "What are you doing here? Get out, the place is falling apart!"
Rushing up to him, you desperately tugged on his arm. "Not without you!" Yielding to your urgency, he abandoned the medicine and turned to leave with you. But dread washed over him as he noticed the fragile beam above you, threatening to collapse at any moment. Time seemed to slow as he pushed you towards the exit just in time for the debris to crash down in front of him, trapping him inside.
Your cries echoed as you saw him trapped. "No!" He managed a weak smile, feeling the smoke filling his lungs. "I'm sorry, my lady." Tears streamed down your face as you screamed for help, men rushing to save him. Kyungsoo and Subin restrained you, their grip firm as you thrashed against their hold.
"It's okay, he'll be okay," they repeated, their assurances failing to ease the turmoil in your heart. When they finally emerged, carrying his unconscious body, relief washed over you, but it was quickly replaced by a profound sense of guilt and regret.
God, you were such a fool. How could you have been so blind to his importance in your life? Why did you take him for granted, making him wait for so long?
"Wake up, Song Mingi! Please, listen to me," you pleaded, your voice trembling with emotion. "I remembered everything, okay? I never forgot about you, not for a single moment. I'm sorry for lying, for pushing you away. But I accept it now—I want to be with you. Please... don't leave me."
Amidst your sobs against his chest, you halted as you felt his hand tenderly stroking your head. Lifting your gaze to meet his, you found him smiling weakly down at you.
"Wow, I never thought I'd hear those words," he murmured softly.
"So, that's your secret, huh? Faking your own death to get the girl?" Junghoon quipped, wearing a mischievous grin. Mingi let out an exasperated sigh and playfully smacked the younger man on the back of the head. "Faked my death? I nearly died," he retorted.
Junghoon raised a sceptical brow. "Yes, but did you die though?"
"I swear to god, you rascal—" Mingi's fist hovered in the air threateningly until you appeared, hands on your hips.
"Excuse me, no violence is permitted in the medical hall. If you two want to settle this, take it to the training grounds," you scolded.
The military strategist turned to you with a pout, attempting to play innocent. "But, my angel, I brought you lunch."
You rolled your eyes. "Alright. What's Junghoonie doing here then?"
The apprentice eagerly showed you his sprained ankle. "I actually got hurt, noona. Unlike someone, I don't fake my injuries."
Before Mingi could retaliate, you quickly summoned a colleague to tend to Junghoon, then dragged your idiot away, much to his chagrin. "That's enough, you baby."
"Yes, I'm your baby."
A month had passed since the plague in the village was eradicated. It was after the fire, that you managed to find a quiet moment with Mingi and poured out your heart to him. To your surprise, he didn't immediately respond with joy.
"Are you sure this is what you truly want?" he had asked, his expression serious. "Because I could never ask you to choose me over your career if it's more important to you."
His words struck a chord deep within you, revealing the depth of his love and understanding. He wasn't seeking to possess you but to ensure your happiness, even if it meant letting you go.
In that moment, you realised that this man was worth loving, worth everything. He had waited patiently for years, only to ask you that question when he finally had you.
In response, you didn't need to speak. Your answer was a simple and direct kiss to his lips, conveying all your love, gratitude, and certainty in that one tender moment.
Upon your return from Guri, you promptly sought an audience with His Majesty. There, you expressed your desire to be with Mingi. Needless to say, the soft-hearted King who had been secretly rooting for you both did not take too long to agree.
Granting you the freedom to be courted by the military strategist, the King also bestowed his blessing for marriage, should you both deem it the right path. With a sense of relief, you exchanged grateful glances with your lover. It marked the beginning of a new chapter, brimming with hope and love, as you eagerly anticipated embarking on this journey together.
"I still can't believe you're meant to be the coolest and most renowned military strategist in all of Joseon. If only the people knew what an adorable little princess you could be," you chuckled, playfully feeding Mingi a spoonful of rice as he attempted to fashion you a new handkerchief, boasting about his newfound skills learned from his dressmaker friend.
"Oh wow, is that really how you thank your devoted future husband, who's putting all this effort into making something special for you?" he teased, his eyes sparkling with affection as he reached for another piece of cloth, determined to create something perfect for you.
You snickered mischievously. "Alright, princess, how about this? You handle the cooking and cleaning, and I'll be the queen of the castle, bringing home the gold. Deal?"
He stared at you, unamused. Leaning in, you stole a kiss from his lips, and in that moment, his resistance melted away. "Ugh fine, I suppose that doesn't sound too bad," he admitted with a playful sigh.
Anything for you, my angel.
You couldn't contain your laughter at his surrender, eagerly returning his affection as he leaned in for another kiss.
Sometimes, it's astonishing how, despite years of separation, no matter how distant you've become or how impossible it seemed to reunite, you always find each other again. It's as if your paths were meant to intersect once more, as though guided by the stars.
You were destined to find each other.
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Lord, I did not plan for this to be so long. I'm so sorry this part took like a thousand years and I sincerely hope it was decent! I've managed to include all the details I came up with but am somehow not too happy with the delivery (then again, when am I not unsatisfied with my own work lmfao).
More importantly, I cannot believe I now have 2k followers😭 thank you all so much! I cannot wait to finish Jongho and Yeosang's spinoffs and then work on more new stuff!
As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3
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lohotine · 5 months ago
Text
Appreciation to our pink boys ♡
Featuring: Peach Blossom, Pastel Meringue, Whipped Cream
``Just close your eyes...``
Warnings: proofread (but badly)
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"My, you're looking quite worn out today... rough day?" Peach Blossom smiles at you softly- just as he always does.
It was late at night, maybe around 12ish. Work today had been excruciating, yet it seems a certain someone decided to stay up and wait for you anyway.
You sigh, closing the door behind you and dropping your bags near instantly. He hurried over to you and removed your jacket. "Shh, it's okay. You can just rest here with me~" He left a quick kiss on your cheek and pulled you over to the couch.
The warm smile never seemed to leave his face. You wondered if he was even capable of frowning at all. Sure... work was exhausting at times and your co-workers sucked, but it was all worth it in the end when you got to come home to your beloved.
"Now.." He gazed into your eyes, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. Though, his hand seemed to linger while cupping your face. "Would you like me to run you bath? Or maybe you'd prefer some tea... Whatever you want."
You tilted his chin upwards ever so slightly, leaving a kiss on his lips. Sweet, you'd think to yourself. "More of those, perhaps?"
Somehow, his face seemed to soften even more, and the faintest of pinks dashed his cheeks. "Of course. Whatever you want, my love."
``Just close your eyes...``
---
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"Look who finally decided to show up! You took so long I nearly thought you had forgotten about me." Pastel Meringue crossed his arms and sent you a glare.
Loose prices of fabric and random tools were scattered all around the workroom, though an impressive array of garments were ready on a rack nearby.
"Sorry, something came up-" you sheepishly replied.
He huffed. "You better be sorry. I don't let just anyone model my clothes, you know." He hopped off of his chair and walked up to you, though his glare seemed to lessen.
"Come now, time is of the essence!" He grabbed your wrist and dragged you over to the clothes you were supposed to model. "Pick whichever you want to try on first. Just know we have to get through all of these today."
After getting into one of the outfits, you reappeared infront of Pastel Meringue. He sort of just gazed at you for a while, seemingly admiring you before smiling. "Well? Give me a little twirl so I can see what I'm working with~"
The rest of the day went similarly. You'd try on more outfits, Pastel Meringue would make some comments here and there before you move don't the next outfit.
Now it was the last outfit and Pastel Meringue was fiddling with some fabric near your neck. "Maybe this set would look better with white accents instead of blue..." He'd mumble to himself.
He turned around to his desk and gathered some tools.
"I'm sure it'll look great no matter what you pick. Your designs always turn out that way."
He sighed and looked toward the ground, though he could not help the small smile that appeared on his face.
"Yeah yeah, now stay still while I take some extra measurements."
``Just close your eyes...``
---
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Whipped Cream... ever the graceful dancer. You watched with great interest in how his body moved. It looked so natural to him...
"You know you don't have to just watch, right?" His movements stopped when he looked at you.
"What-?"
"Come on, we should dance together!" He smiled enthusiastically at you, expectantly waiting for an answer.
"Wouldn't I just mess you up?"
A low chuckle escaped his lips. "Mess me up? In front of who? There's no audience here."
"Even so, I don't even know ballet. I wouldn't know where to begin."
"We don't have to do ballet. We can always do something else like slow dancing if you'd prefer. I just want to dance with you~"
"I still don't think I'd be very good at it. And besides-"
Whipped Cream cut you off in the middle of your ramble. "You always make things so complicated." He sighed before getting closer to you and extending his hand. "May I have this dance?"
You looked at him peculiarly before reluctantly placing your hand in his and muttering a 'yes'.
He smiled and kissed your hand before pulling you into a twirl.
"Relax, dove... Let me guide you."
``Just close your eyes...``
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marauder-misprint · 3 days ago
Text
Charms
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Sirius Black x Fem!Slytherin!reader
1.5k words
cw: fluff
After lunch, you had a free period. You had gotten comfortable in a bay window with a book and it didn’t take long for one of Hogwarts’ strays to find you. You had started with just absentmindedly petting it, but then it curled up in your lap and fell asleep. You both loved and hated how content it looked snoozing away. You groaned when the bells chimed to signal the end of the period. You couldn’t move, not with a sleeping cat in your lap. How could you disturb its rest? 
You sigh. At least it’s only Charms. You accept your position and continue to read. You’re certain that Pandora or Dorcas will take notes when they notice you’re not there. If worse comes to worst, you could see if Evan or anyone else has notes. Or you could have Dorcas ask Marlene for Lily’s notes. Staying with the cat seemed more acceptable with each person you added to the list of possibly having notes. For all you know, Professor Flitwick could be reviewing a spell you’ve already mastered and you’d be bored out of your mind anyways. Yes, staying here and letting the small creature remain unbothered was okay. 
Sirius, who had gotten better at sneaking glances at you during the classes you shared, notices right away when you aren’t in your seat next to Pandora when Charms starts. As much as he wants to point it out to his friends and get their opinions on where you might be, he doesn’t. If he did, he’d endure more teasing about “still being intrigued” by you. He was. He just doesn’t want to deal with his friends right now. 
Despite knowing you aren’t there, Sirius continues to glance toward Pandora throughout the class. He also looks at the door. He’s hoping you’ll walk in with some excuse for being late, but you never do. Sirius has never found it so difficult to pay attention in class. He really hopes that his friends don’t notice him scanning the room and ask him what he’s looking for. Still intrigued. He wasn’t sure if this intrigue was developing into something more. Interest. More than interest. He felt a need to get to know you better. To get you to like him. You were a dog person after all. You should like him. 
After class, rather than heading straight to his next lesson, he looks around the corridors a bit. He’s looking for you, but if anyone dared to ask, he would claim to be looking for a dropped quill or something. Is a quill a believable thing to be searching for? If he dropped an ink pot, that would break. Maybe a misplaced textbook? He’s still thinking of possible excuses for what he was looking for when he spots the real thing: you. Your hair seems to glow in the sunlight from the window where you’re sitting, book in hand and cat in lap. Of course you had an animal with you.
“Ah, there you are!” Sirius exclaims, strolling toward you. “You missed Charms!”
You tilt your head, looking up at the voice. 
“Have you come to give me your notes?”
“Do I look like I take notes?”
“No, but looks can be deceiving.”
A crooked smile appears on his face. 
“And how do I look, darling?” He strikes a pose, earning an eye roll from you.
“Like a pompous arse who doesn’t have notes to offer me?”
“Hmm, not the answer I was going for.”
You snort a laugh, which slightly disturbs the cat still sleeping in your lap but it adjusts and falls right back asleep.
“What do you want to hear? Oh, Sirius, you’re so dreamy and fit and charming and dashing,” you say in your falsetto.
Sirius laughs and leans against the wall near your feet. 
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Then go find your fan club. They’ll tell you that.”
You turn back to your book, hoping he’ll leave. He doesn’t.
“Are you not in my fan club?” he asks, tapping your shoe with his finger. 
“No. Never have been,” you say. Your eyes are glued to the pages of your book. 
“It’s always accepting new members.”
You look up at Sirius with an annoyed look, which softens quickly when you see Regulus approaching from behind him. 
“Reggie!” you call with a wave.
Sirius spins around, coming face to face with his brother.
“Sirius,” Regulus greets his brother coldly. His tone warms when he looks back to you. “I have bad news for you.”
You groan. “It’s formal?”
He nods and Sirius looks confused.
“What’s formal?”
“You’re still coming, right?” Regulus asks you, his eyes pleading you to say yes. “Please?”
“Yes, I’m still coming,” you say and his face lights up. “But! You’re coming dress shopping with me.”
His face falls. “Why?”
“Because I’m not taking Dorcas or Pandora.”
“What do you need a dress for?” Sirius asks. 
His interest in whatever his brother has invited you to is growing. What event was Regulus taking you to that you needed to wear a dress? He was amused that you would be dragging his brother shopping for said event. That unnerving feeling that he had in his stomach a few days ago outside returned as he thought of you twirling in a dress in front of Regulus for his opinion. 
Regulus shot Sirius an annoyed look, as if saying it wasn’t any of his business. 
“Just a Slug Club thing,” you say, waving your hand dismissively at Sirius. “So, Reg, we’ll go to Hogsmeade this weekend, yeah?”
Sirius didn’t wait for Regulus’ answer. He left you two with his mind spinning on how he could be invited to this Slub Club thing. Who did he know that was in Slug Club and would likely not already have a date picked out? 
“Yeah, this weekend works,” Regulus says. He pauses as he turns to see how far away Sirius had gone. “Why was he here?”
You shrug. “Don’t know. Thought he was maybe going to offer me notes for Charms, but no.”
“You were here all period, weren’t you?” he asks, eying the sleeping cat.
“Little thing is just so comfortable. You can’t blame me!”
“You’re unbelievable sometimes, you know that, right?”
“It was just Charms!” you exclaim. 
“And you skipped it.”
“Yes, I did.”
“What do you have next?”
“Transfiguration…”
Regulus gives you a small smile before he scoops up the cat. It chirps with wide eyes at the sudden movement. He gently places it on the ground and it runs away. 
“Come on,” he says, grabbing your hands. “Let’s get you to Transfiguration.”
“But!”
“No buts! As your friend, I can’t let you skip classes all day because a cat was sleeping.”
“Regulus,” you whine.
“I won’t hear it,” he says definitively. “You’ll thank me later.”
“Doubtful,” you grumble but now that you’re standing, you let Regulus lead you to your next class. 
---
It hits Sirius after dinner when he’s in the Gryffindor Common Room. Lily is in Slug Club. Despite all of James’ attempts, she is very single and likely needs a date to the party. She could be his way in. He was fairly certain he hadn’t seen her buddying up to any guy recently. He approaches the table where she’s sitting with Mary and Marlene. He puts a genuine smile, hoping it helps his cause.  
“Evans! You know how we’re best friends, yeah?” 
“Words never used to describe us, but go on,” Lily laughs as she looks up from her homework. 
“I’ve decided that I’ll be your date to Slughorn’s party.”
She looks at him with a confused expression.
“You’ve decided?”
“Yes.” 
“And you want to go to that?”
“Yes.” 
“Do I want to know why? Usually people not in Slug Club are more than glad not to go,” she says.
He presses his hands on the table and leans forward. “I just need to be there.”
“Need to, huh? Would you behave?”
“Yes!”
“I don’t believe you, Black.”
“What would I even do?”
“I don’t know. Prank Severus or something stupid.”
“I thought you didn’t like him anymore,” Sirius says, his brows scrunching together in confusion.
“I don’t,” Lily says pointedly. “But that doesn’t mean I want my guest at Slughorn’s party to be causing a scene. It’s my image on the line.”
“I promise I’ll be on my very best behavior.” SIrius looks around the common room. “I swear it on Remus’ books, James’ broom, Peter’s wizards’ chess and my hair.”
“You almost have to say yes now,” Mary says with a giggle. “He swore on his hair and I want to see what happens when he fucks it up.”
“I won’t!” he asserts. 
“I suppose it saves me from actually asking someone… Alright, Black. You can come.” She pauses and looks Sirius up and down. “You know you have to dress up, right?”
He nods and smiles at her. “That’s part of why I need to go.”
Lily exchanges glances with Marlene and Mary as Sirius returns to where his friends are gathered near the fire. 
“You’ll have to give us a play-by-play. Black needing to go to Sluggy’s party?” Marlene tells Lily. 
“Do you have any idea what that’s about?” Mary asks.
Lily shakes her head with a sigh. “No… I just hope I don’t regret it.”
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tags: @2dloveshp, @yearninglustfully, @made-for-oliverwood, @ilovejamespottersomuch, @hisparentsgallerryy, @itsseaberri, @corawithfanfiction, @devilslittlehelper, @jllyunn, @barnes70stark
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silverwhittlingknife · 6 months ago
Note
hi Silver! o/ because that fanart made me wonder - would you happen to know when/where Dick's stuffed elephant plush Zitka turns up in the comics?
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GREETINGS CAM <3333 THAT ART WAS SO CUTE
Yeah, I think your instincts are right - it's a truly adorable bit of transformative fandom, but I'm 95% percent sure it's not comics canon. Barbara has canon plushies, but I don't think anyone else does.
I got kinda invested in the investigation (it's hard to prove a negative!) and I ended up typing out an entire History of Elinore/Zitka, so, uh, if you're curious, meet me below the cut for:
Where does Elinore / Zitka - the animal - appear in comics?
Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?
Where does Elinore / Zitka appear in comics?
We're gonna go in chronological order!
Dick's circus elephant friend was first created for practical reasons: in Batman 436, Marv Wolfman does a big expanded flashback to Dick's circus backstory as a way to subtly show us Tim before officially introducing him (so that we can have a technically-solvable mystery-of-Tim's-identity in LPoD). In this comic, there's an elephant named Elinore who loves Dick:
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Aww. Such a cute elephant!
Batman 436 comes out in August 1989. New Titans 60 comes out a few months later, in November, and guess what? When Dick visits the circus, he is suddenly surprised by an unexpected blast from the past! It turns out that even though it's been years, Elinore still remembers him!
Here's the part where Elinore remembers Dick:
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SUCH a cute elephant. I love her.
(Guess who else still remembers Dick even though it was so long ago. Guess which other character is about to be an unexpected blast from the past. Guess which character Elinore is directly paralleling guess guess guess sorry everything is about Dick and Tim in my mind but I can focus I swear)
Four years later, in 1993, Batman: The Animated Series retells Dick's origin story. They like and keep Wolfman's elephant, but they change her name to Zitka:
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Wolfman doesn't return to the elephant beyond those two appearances, and a few years down the line, New Titans gets cancelled and Wolfman's not writing Dick anymore anyway. So the animal gets abandoned for a while, until Devin Grayson, a fan of both Wolfman and B:tAS, revives the Wolfman-era Titans team in JLA/Titans and then the ongoing series Titans 1999.
Grayson then brings back the elephant in a flashback to Dick's past in Titans 16 (Jun 2000), where she imports the B:tAS name. Sometimes I'm skeptical of TV-to-comics imports, but honestly, I endorse this one. You lose the alliteration, which is a shame, but IMO Zitka is a better elephant name than Elinore.
Here's Dick with the newly-christened Zitka in Titans 16:
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Grayson also briefly references the elephant in Gotham Knights 20 and - in a final angsty callback - in Nightwing 88 (Feb 2004), where Zitka tries futilely to comfort Dick in the midst of his trauma conga line:
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... And... honestly, I think that's it for comic appearances? The two Wolfman comics plus the three Grayson comics.
Both Wolfman and Grayson are writing multiple titles - Batman, New Titans, Titans, Gotham Knights, and Nightwing between the two of them, spanning a big chunk of Dick's post-Crisis canon - and both writers use the elephant for heartwarming moments of nostalgia, which means if you're doing a post-Crisis readthrough for Dick, Elinore/Zitka feels memorable. But I don't think she actually shows up that much.
For post-2011, I am not as well-informed - throwing this out to the dash? anyone know? - but I feel like Zitka the heartwarming symbol of Dick's heartwarming circus past is, uh, thematically very at odds with the Court of Owls evil!circus vibes, so my instinct is that this story element was almost certainly dropped in the reboot.
Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?
In WFA, yes; in main comics continuity, no. Technically, I have not read every comic ever published, so I could be wrong!! But I don't think so.
Below, find my rambling reasoning on the tonal vibes of pre-Crisis, post-Crisis, and post-2011, and why this particular story element doesn't seem right to me for the first two.
Pre-Crisis (...okay, mostly the Silver Age): stuffed animal, yes or no?
tl;dr no, requires too much background knowledge on the part of the reader, plus the elephant wasn't a thing until later
Elinore doesn't get created until post-Crisis, but also just generally, pre-Crisis callbacks are more along the lines of this reference in Batman 129 (published in 1960), where, wow, Batman and Robin are hunting jewel thieves - and it turns out Robin recognized this strongman! BUT HOW?!
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The comic goes on to recap Dick's entire origin story in flashback, on the assumption that you may not know it.
(BTW, if you'd like to know more about Haly's Circus throughout the years, nightwingology has a great post here summarizing a lot of fun plotlines and characters!)
Basically: Silver Age comics are very self-consciously episodic and kid-friendly; they're not generally gonna do overly-elaborate callbacks because they don't know what comics their kid readers may have randomly picked up or remember.
By the time of post-Crisis, comic books were being written for an adult audience buying from the direct market, i.e. readers who are collecting whole runs & don't need or want Dick's origin story to be recapped to us in full every time it's referenced. That's why in post-Crisis, we get stuff like "hey, neat, this particular soda brand is getting mentioned in several different books!!" or "in order to understand this story arc, buy SIXTEEN DIFFERENT COMICS in FIVE DIFFERENT RUNS and read them ALL ACCORDING TO A NUMBERED ORDER and also you better be following the individual plotlines and recognize these five minor characters who we don't bother to introduce!! Good luck!!" But the elaborate post-Crisis plotlines - and subtler worldbuilding like a stuffed animal callback to Dick's backstory - don't make a lot of story sense UNLESS you're imagining your readers as completionist adult fans.
So IMO a stuffed animal wouldn't be a pre-Crisis thing unless it was The Episodic Story Of the Week, and I don't think a stuffed animal is action-adventure-y enough for the fast-paced storytelling of the Silver Age. (Unless it, like, came to life and tried to eat you or something.)
Post-Crisis: stuffed animals, yes or no?
tl;dr: no, Dick's a manly tough guy, he's not gonna have a stuffed animal, that'd be lame, like something Tim might do
Part of the edgy grimdark adult vibes in 80s/90s comics is that some characters who used to be kinda silly & goofy & lighthearted - like Batman and Robin - get reimagined as Serious and Angsty and Edgy in a Tough Cool Manly Brooding Way. This massively affects characterization for Bruce, Dick, and Bruce and Dick's relationship.
(I obviously love this change & love the tense Bruce-and-Dick interactions, but plenty of fans of the earlier fluffy comics really disliked the edgy retcons of Miller / Wolfman / Starlin / et al.)
The upshot is that post-Crisis is a period when you could have a recurring reference like a stuffed elephant, but you wouldn't have a stuffed elephant, not for Dick. I think a toy like that would be too cutesy / childish / effeminate to give a male character in post-Crisis, unless you were poking fun at him.
Now, you could probably let Tim have a stuffed animal, because Tim is sometimes cool but also sometimes a tryhard loser who is faking being cool and not entirely pulling it off (see e.g. the Robin comic where he practices tough-guy faces in the mirror, or the Teen Titans comic where Conner discovers his cringy Enya CD, or when he's fanboying over Connor and it's awkward, etc etc.). A stuffed animal would be deeply embarrassing, and you'd have to be careful to compensate by having Tim do something cool afterward - but Tim's character concept allows for "he's kind of a loser sometimes."
But Dick isn't!! In post-Crisis, Dick's a tough / impressive / "cool guy" character, the kind of guy anyone would want to be, even in the flashbacks where he's Robin, and even in the stories where he's more lighthearted than angsty. It'd be kinda lame for Dick to have a stuffed elephant, so he wouldn't. I feel like Dick would be more likely to poke fun at it if someone had one, like when he's making fun of Wally for liking the Hardy Boys. Dick could have a Batman action figure, at most, and if he had one he would have it ironically.
Basically: in post-Crisis, a male character hugging a stuffed elephant feels more likely to be a punchline to me, not something poignant. (Even with Tim, Tim could have an embarrassing stuffed animal, but he couldn't hug it when sad - that's too far. Maybe Booster Gold might do this. Probably he wouldn't, but spiritually, he would. Sorry Booster ilu! <3)
Instead, Dick instinctively deals with his inner turmoil like the TORTURED ACTION HERO he is: by punching things and brooding and yelling and joining the mob and sleeping on rooftops and going on obsessive secret missions and acquiring Angsty Stubble!! Just like Batman!
(Technically I don't know if Bruce ever joined the mob but you know he would.)
Anyway as you know this is my favorite continuity and I am poking fun affectionately, but uh, yeah sdfsfdsfs. No stuffed animals.
Post-2011 / Infinite Frontier / Wayne Family Adventures: stuffed animals, yes or no?
tl;dr it's in WFA! Probably not anywhere else, but it could be.
Post-2011 stuff tends to be cutesier overall, most of all in the current Infinite Frontier era. So I don't feel like this would be tonally out-of-line with IF comics. Taylor tends to go for more meme-y references rather than fanfic references, though.
So the obvious best fit is WFA, which is aiming for a rough approximation of Silver Age family-friendly vibes - wholesome, episodic plots, Teaching Good Moral Lessons For The Youth, etc. - plus lots of Easter eggs for fanfic readers and some comic references.
And look, here we are:
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Aww.
Whew - that's everything I could find!
Anyway as you can probably tell, I LOVE the elephant, so this was a very entertaining rabbit hole to go down, thank you <3
#dick grayson#anyone with more info feel free to chime in & we can crowdsource <3#i do think the toy elephant is awfully cute though <3#total digression but i was thinking about it as i was writing:#i'm fascinated by the ways that the post-crisis batboys & their stories can intersect with 90s masculinity and all its issues with stoicism#and i'm pro-queering and gender-bending - 90s comics were a total boys' club so i think it's neat that transformative fandom isn't#but i do love 90s masculinity and All Its Issues too & one of the things i find compelling about the dick-tim-bruce trio#& especially dick's place in it - is the unspoken hierarchy whereby bruce is manlier than dick & dick is manlier than tim#and so dick's in the middle as this somewhat softer-character who aspires to be a harsher & more stoic & ultimate manly-man character#caught in the middle between robin & batman & what each role represents#and like. batman is both manhood & the only desirable thing to be AND ALSO it represents this immense narrowing of possibility#because so much of stereotypical masculinity is about reducing the range of emotions you're allowed to have or express#and dick is both incredibly conflicted about bruce AND wants to be just like him & by extension is conflicted about masculinity writ large#so a lot of dick's interactions with tim veer between trying on a frat-boy-ish 'I'm The Manly Guy' persona vs. giving up on it#or trying on imitations of Bruce's Batman persona but also trying to backtrack out of it bc he doesn't like how it feels etc etc#ANYWAY i think what i am trying to say is that if tim had a stuffed animal dick would be entertained & poke mild fun at him#and call him 'teddy' for the next hour or something while tim got increasingly defensive about how the teddy bear was steph's#and/or about how the teddy bear was OLD and tim doesn't even care about it and also WHATEVEr i'm above this#and to an uninformed observer this might look like bullying BUT ACTUALLY#this ritual would IN FACT be very reassuring to both of them + tim would feel WAY better afterward than if dick had ignored it#because by poking fun at him dick shows he still respects tim enough to tease him thus subtextually exorcising the threat of wimpiness#plus allowing tim to defend himself & demonstrate that he can take a joke so they've both reaffirmed their masculinity to each other#& they don't have to be scared of the teddy bear and all it represents anymore#however also afterward dick would have a brief nostalgic flashback to when he was a kid & had a teddy bear & feel weird about the memory#because he would be unable to articulate to himself that what he misses is a past when he allowed himself to be vulnerable#anyway this wouldn't actually happen in comics but it's what would happen in my soul. you know.#ask tag#zitka
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awrkive · 1 year ago
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hey hey!! congrats on almost 1k and 2k for cn&bl <33 here i am again obsessed w the cn&bl couple! could i please request a drabble for them! maybe something super fluffy and a dash of smut 🫣 anything along the lines of them out in public or whatevs hahah
jk and oc’s relationship a secret no more LOLZIES (jk being completely down bad and being teased but in a friendly way??) any setting and time of the day! excited for anything you come up w, tysm!! <3
summary: cnbl!oc brings cnbl!jk lunch after his bb practice
wc: 1.8k
note: no smut but its super cute ))))))))))): this ask has been in my inbox for so long im really sorrry for only getting to it now 😭 nonetheless i hope u guys enjoy
‼️FULL FIC HERE
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The tuna sandwich you made two weeks ago surprisingly became a favorite of Jungkook, which you didn't see coming, because he was a good cook (he truly did prove you wrong) and you were a shit one in comparison. To be fair, making a sandwich isn't totally cooking but you still season the tuna and that was cooking in your opinion but anyway, Jungkook loved it so much he kept on asking you for it whenever he came over.
Never had anyone validated your cooking before, only Jungkook, and you couldn't lie and say it didn't boost your ego whenever he ate it almost rather enthusiastically, and then kissed you sweetly (albeit smelling like tuna) and saying thank you with that adorable smile of his.
So today, you may have accidentally made five tuna sandwiches and bought way too much Chinese food that is anything but for individual consumption. Because today, you may be going to the gym to get lunch with Jungkook on his break.
[12:30pm] You: It's your lunch break, right? Are you still practicing?
[12:32pm] Kook🐰: hi baby we finished just now it'slunch break i go to class at 2pm
[12:32pm] Kook🐰: have u eaten should we get lunch together
[12:35pm] Kook🐰: i got starbucks coupon yesterdat👺
[12:35pm] Kook🐰: yesteeday
[12:35pm] Kook🐰: yesterday
[12:35pm] You: I'm coming to the gym
Turning off your phone after that brief exchange, you tiptoed a little to spot the gym.
It was almost crazy to think that once upon a time you've never stepped a foot in there, but nowadays it has become almost like a routine, no thanks to constantly hanging out with Jungkook. And it wasn't just you going to his "thing", either, it was also him fetching you from the publication office or bringing you food there.
It's a rather big shift from keeping your relationship a secret to everyone else from… effortlessly flaunting it to everybody. But no, you wouldn't really call it flaunting. Flaunting meant you have every intention to make everyone know, but that wasn't the case for you both. Not at all. It was more of like: "They see us, then they see us. Who cares?" and personally it was hard to not care the first few weeks, especially when you would hear your name from the girls' gossips in the women's comfort room. But the talks died down eventually and finally, no one cares now about the girl Jungkook's hanging out with.
Anyhow, it was nice to not… hide anymore. Or pretend that you didn't know each other in the hallways. Jungkook liked it as much. You think.
As you reach the gym, you see Taehyung near the entrance door. It looks like he just changed out of his jersey, his fringes wet.
"Hi," you greet, waving at him.
"Oh, __, hey," Taehyung looks up from his phone to look at you then grins. "Jungkook's inside." He says, gesturing with his thumb. His eyes train to the lunch bag in your hand and the familiar plastic bag of a Chinese restaurant across the street. Wiggling his eyebrows, he teases, "Is that for him? Sweet."
You immediately roll your eyes at that. "Shut up, Tae."
Additionally, one of the big shifts in your life the past few months was finding a close friend in Jungkook's friends. Taehyung and you have been getting closer these days, enough for you to comfortably exchange sarcastic remarks about each other. Turns out, he was an extremely fun guy to be around and get this, he knows Letterboxd. How cool is that! (Though he still really holds that time you didn't show up at your coffee hang against you. He brings it up every single time and you'd have to treat him to a cafe some weeks.)
Taehyung laughs and brings his hands up, jokingly surrendering. "Kidding, kidding. He's waiting for you inside. Gotta go, though. 1pm class."
You nod. "See you around, Tae."
You thought he was gonna go scram but he looked at you one last time and said, "Don't do anything funny in there."
Heat goes through your body, settling to your cheeks. Taehyung really gets on your nerves, it makes so much sense that he was close friends with Jungkook.
"Shut up, I hate you and Hyerin deserves so much better." You say spitefully, referring to the woman he's been going on dates with recently, rolling your eyes once again as Taehyung just laughed his ass off, walking further away.
Ugh. You really wish he didn't walk in on you and Jungkook three days ago. To be fair, Jungkook forgot to lock his room (again!) when you were fooling around and Taehyung was a neanderthal who didn't know how to knock. So cue Taehyung joking about it whenever the opportunity came.
"Hey!"
You turn around to see Jungkook jogging towards you, still in his jersey with a towel hanging around his neck. Some of his team mates are also hanging around the benches. As if just having noticed you as well, they wave at you and say a chorus of "Hi"s and "What's up, __"s which you returned with a smile and a greeting back.
Jungkook greets you personally with a wet kiss on the lips.
"Hi, pretty."
"Hey, you," You greet back, swiping his bangs off his forehead. You quickly retreat. "You're so sweaty. Wipe your forehead."
Jungkook does it so. "Done." he looks down at the things you've got in your hand. "You brought me lunch?" He says, a grin plastered all over his face.
You hold your arms up with the bags. "Yeah. Chinese and tuna sandwiches. I thought we could eat here or something."
His grin only spreads wider at your words, and you can only mirror his smile. He was so smily today.
"You mean your tuna sandwiches? Fuck, I could kiss you right now. Thank you." He says enthusiastically, wrapping his arm around your waist and leading you to the bleachers.
You followed him and you settled on your usual spot where you've eaten one of your lunches before. It was quite far away from the area where the other guys were seated.
"It's nothing. I made a lot this morning because my classes got canceled." You say, unzipping the lunch bag with the sandwiches in it. You give him one and open another yourself, taking out the pack of mayo to put it in between the bread.
"Hm, fuck, these are so good. Seriously. You should start a food business." Jungkook comments, munching on the sandwich.
You chuckle. "No, what the hell. I need to have a variety in the menu if I start something. I just can't sell sandwiches."
Jungkook shrug. "Eh, it could be like a special thing. __ Sandwich Exclusive Cafe. Something like that. Or just post these online, I'll go tell my friends about it and you'll get rich in a week. I have a celebrity friend."
Your laughter becomes louder, shoulders moving up and down.
"You sound like a crypto scammer that way. You should've started with, "Are you open-minded?" and that would've sold me."
Jungkook snorts at that, grabbing another sandwich from the bag. You take a dumpling from the take-out and extended it to his mouth, which he opens to take the food you offered him.
"If dad cuts me off completely I'll be one of those crypto dudes on Twitter, so you're not totally wrong."
You both laugh at that, with you pushing him slightly on his bicep.
"Well, I'll help you scam people, then. I'll be the one commenting on your tweets and vouching for your legitimacy."
Jungkook nods, pretending like he was thinking about it. "Hm. Or I can start an OnlyFans if it fails so that I can still give you your boba everyday."
You can't help but giggle.
"You know I always appreciate your sacrifice. Maybe we can start a Pornhub channel if I couldn't get admitted to law school."
Jungkook lets out a "tsk!". "Don't say that. With the way you study, you'll be overqualified." It was his turn to give you a dumpling then, which you ate just as quickly as he offered it. Jungkook smiles as he watches you chew on it. "But if it counts, I won't be opposed to us starting a Pornhub channel."
You search through the Chinese take out bags again to find your fried rice. As you did so, you opened it, not forgetting to reply to Jungkook and looking at him as you say, "Well, I'll have to practice my porn moan for that."
And just as soon as you said that you knew he already had something dirty to utter, and he doesn't fail you.
"Maybe we can practice tonight…" He said, voice intentionally going octave deeper.
You chuckle at his predictability.
"I knew you were gonna say that."
Before he could deny how predictable he was or brag about how quick-witted he was, you heard a bunch of footsteps on the court.
"Hey, Jeon! We're going!" Says one guy, looking at you both.
Jungkook turns to look at them and shouts back, "Yeah, see you around, Mingyu!"
"__!" They call you.
When you looked at them, they nodded, ready to leave, announcing their departure so you wave at them goodbye.
When they were out of sight, you asked Jungkook, "Hey, what's that about your Starbucks coupon?"
As if remembering something, Jungkook's eyes widened a little as he takes his phone from his pocket. "Oh, yeah I got one yesterday. Here." He looked inside his phone case and took out a card.
You leaned down to study it curiously, reading the benefits of the card holder getting a $50 token.
"Ohh, that's amazing! How'd you get this? I want one too."
Jungkook let you take the card and looked at it with you. "I don't really know, the barista just gave me this after I got some latte."
Oh. Hm. Interesting. You bet it was a woman barista.
"Hmm."
Jungkook shrugs. "It's probably because I gave her the exact amount of the payment in cash. I don't know."
Her. Exactly. She was probably the same barista who always looked at Jungkook funny whenever you two came there. She had an obvious crush and you couldn't really blame her. But it was funny, that Jungkook thought it was because he gave the exact amount of payment in cash the barista decided to give him a gift card. You would think his lowkey fuckboy ways would tell him that a woman likes him, but he was so clueless sometimes. If you were honest to yourself, you'd admit it was cute.
"You can be so clueless at times, Kook." You say, patting his shoulder.
"Huh?" He looks at you with that wide eyes of his, and boy, he really doesn't suspect a thing.
You shake your head. "Nothing."
You pat his head and Jungkook squints his eyes at you. You laugh at the little exchange and Jungkook's hand extends up to hold yours up his face and you tried to pull back, giggling, thinking he was gonna do something gross like bite your hand but he only presses his mouth to your palm, holding it against his face.
You smile. Soft and gentle.
"Dinner later at my place?" Jungkook says.
You nod.
It was hard to deny someone who makes your heart go all weird when he looked at you like that.
"Sure."
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all rights reserved © AWRKIVE , 2023
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etoilesbienne · 1 year ago
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hii i wasnt sure who to send this to but qsmp's been coming up on my dash for the better part of a year and ive finally cracked. do you have any recommendations for a total beginner? like is there a playlist i can watch to catch up or can i just start watching wherever? do you have any particular streamer recommendations? love the yuri grind + i appreciate any help you can give^___^
OKIE DOKE SO: first of all the official qsmp recaps i would say are your best friend. this is relatively short.
HONESTLY i think people should just jump in cold turkey and pick a streamer they seem somewhat entertained by and watch their most recent vod. or skip around in it. or watch clip comps
HOWEVER in terms of trying to catch up on All The Lore of a guy you should maybe look at the most recent qsmp member additions (tubbo willyrex nihachu rivers_gg ironmouse carreraaa bagi german germandia lenay polispol tinakitten) and try to look at their most recent story stuff. i think quite literally none of them knew the lore of the server excluding tina meeting leonarda before joining. so their additions are new blank slates to start from!!
qsmp has 4 language groups though (spanish english french and brazilian portuguese) and for the most part the most a lot of lore ends up really intertwined between the members of each language group so if you look into one of them you end up picking up a lot on the other members as well
ANYWAY personally i would recommend etoiles if you like more relaxed/quite streams (& winners povs. Lol) because My Streamer etc. otherwise i also really recommend looking into Slimecicle since he streams very little and has a vod archive and he ends up really involved in a lot of qsmp intense lore moments (but not All of them). his streams also end up shorter (love bbh but i cant in good conscious recommend someone start there. 8 hour streams for 4 months is... a Lot. but i recommend checking in on bbh streams whenever he's live because his ass is always up to Something. Same to foolish if you prefer builder povs. cellbit is also good if you like more intense theory guys like that.) if you want my recommendations for the new group to start with though i recommend tina or tubbo or bagi. all three of them are little crackerjacks and have a lot going on in a very short amount of time that i find fun to watch.
also don't worry if you don't Know every single thing thats happened i can barely keep track of some earlier events because So much has happened on the server since it's started. same to literally every other qsmp fan like everyone here likes explaining about their cubito and rambling because its mcytblr we have autism here. if someone makes fun of you for not knowing every single thing theyre a douche remember the server is for fun and a lot of the series is comedy based in the first place (though still heavy on lore). just try to find a streamer who makes you laugh to watch
if anyone else wants to add on feel free to o/
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puriette-archived · 3 months ago
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appreciation for some of my mutuals & non-moots on here!
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@chocospresso - i don't interact with you as much as i used to but you are the first person that i followed & we're still moots! i used to follow your mogai account and that's (mostly) what got me into coining <3
@egodoll - your flags & edits have me inspired when i don't feel like doing anything or if i don't have any ideas on what to do! you are soo nice and kind to everyone!
@phantasverie - one of my best friends on here, you've always been so kind to me 🫶 every time i talk to you, i feel so much better than before! thank you for always being someone i can talk to & also, your flags and everything you make always puts a smile on my face. you are so awesome!!!
@phaea - mostly friends on discord but you are so interesting and i love all of your edits & frames & things! i always want to use them even if i have no idea what to make. i'm proud of you tbh for making flags and doing what you want to do! keep being so cool
@daybreakthing / @revenant-coining - i LOVE your terms & seeing them always make me feel better about myself. i use a lot of them and i'm always happy when i get to see something new on my dash!
@smilepilled - i always get so happy when i see your posts & your reblogs!! you are such a nice person here & on discord! your views on thing always make so much sense to me & i love learning about new things from you 🫶🫶
@zombmelukitty - my sibby!! your flags are so nice to look at & i love talking to u on discord even if it's about random things! i love learning more things about u :3
@rwuffles - HI!!! your flags are so awesome & i love every single term you make! you're always positive and make me want to be nicer all the time :3 you've always so creative, i love seeing what you come up with!
@winecovered - omg okay so. i love using your flags & terms whenever i can! the way you use colours is always so amazing! you always come up with things that everyone loves and i have no idea how! you have such a special little brain /pos
@riamuverse - hi kolette. this is a hate post actually (joke). anyways, you are so creative, i love seeing what you make! you always bring something new & you're actually a really kind person and nothing like engagekiss (sorry not sorry)! idk if this is gonna make sense but we use a lot of similar terms & it makes me happy to see that someone else closer to my age using the same stuff!
@lunentity - also one of the people i've followed for a while! your flags never cease to amaze me! the things you come up with aren't close to anyone elses and that makes you so very unique! you are also always so kind and helpful, i'm happy to consider you my friend :3
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i will probably reblog this with more people because i always forget some! anyways, love to you all, thank you for being awesome always 🫶🫶🫶 (feel free to send me an ask if you feel like i forgot you :3)
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wildemaven · 8 months ago
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Okay, so I guess this sits in the realm of Confessions.
I'm thinking about leaving tumblr. I'm not sure what I did or didn't do to cause this, but the people I thought of as my friends or at least closest moots hardly interact with me anymore. My posts, my fics, my reblogs, my comments to them... They are around, I see them on my dash, but...
It all sounds so middle school, but it hurts nonetheless, and I'm pretty sure anything that feels like middle school (even actual middle school) can't be good for anyone.
The thing is, I really love everyone, and I don't want to give up. But going around to literally dozens of peoples DMs to ask, "Do you like me?" "Are we still friends?" "Are you mad at me?" Is again a kind of painful kid trauma thing I just can't quite bring myself to do.
I feel like my time here is just sort of over. I started with little expectation, and to my surprise, I found community, felt well liked and valued, and then, it just sort of went away.
There was a time when I was really happy about my place here, and just that makes me so sad.
You don't have to answer or anything. I think it just feels kind of cathartic to write it down where if nothing else someone else will read it.
Anyway... I guess that's it.
Held on to this for a little bit because my heart aches for you and I want to wrap you in the biggest hug 💕 I felt I could have written something so similar, as so many are relating to this right now.
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It’s so hard to not feel like you’re feeling when you see people you’ve connected with slowly pull away from you. It hurts even more when they’re still active but actively avoiding you. That fucking hurts deep.
There was a time when this space felt very welcoming and fun. And while I do still have fun, sometimes it doesn’t feel as welcoming— and I know I’m not the only one feeling this.
Cliques branch off, popularity fuels some to feel like they’re too good to interact with others, the vibe isn’t vibing like it use to. And like you mentioned, it can all make you feel like you’re being thrown back in middle schools wondering why you’re not good enough? What did you do to cause this? What’s the point of even being here in this space any longer?
I’m so sorry this has become your reality. I wish it was a simple fix or there was a perfect solution to make things better. I support whatever decision you make, your wellbeing and mental health matter most— just know this community will be a little less bright without you in it!!
You said I didn’t have to post this, but I want others who might be feeling the same to know they’re not alone at all. There’s a lot of us floating around with the same exact thoughts and feeling like we just no longer belong in this space.
You’re more than welcome to jump in my DMs or continue sending anonymous messages to my inbox if that helps you in any way 💕
Coffee Shop Asks
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prey-4-me · 1 year ago
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Ooman pet of a bad blood?
Thx for your request; hope you like it! ♥️
Bad Blood Yautja x pet!reader
Yautja Translations
Da’dtou-di — name, meaning little knife
Kv’var — hunt
***
Cetanu roughed you up a bit as a greeting. “You’re up early, my Da’dtou-di,” he growled. Smiling, you nodded. “I wanted to clean your gear for the kv’var… I know you don’t like to wait.”
He grumbled. “Yes.” Clicking his mandibles, he continued, “Anyway. You are going to come with me today.” Surprised, you looked over at him. Usually you stayed at camp to ‘protect’ it. He had his back to you, concealing his face. You couldn’t tell his motives. But you were pleased all the same.
“When do we leave?” You tried to sound casual about it.
“When we are packed. Hurry,” he growled again. You got busy.
*** Snap! Cetanu swiveled around and boxed your ears, hissing, “Ooman! Quiet! Why are you so heavy footed??” He turned around again. Creeping forward, he was strangely silent for something so large. You looked down at the ground, searching for more twigs. You needed to avoid them at all costs. You fell behind as you struggled to be as quiet as Cetanu. You knew it didn’t really matter; he always charged his prey so he would lose you for certain then. But you could easily follow his path of destruction, as well as the typical sounds of Bad Blood battling their future trophy.
Cetanu roared, dashing off. Trees cracked and foliage gave way as he crashed through the jungle. You heard his prey roar back, and the battle begin. You continued carrying his gear, slowly gaining on their position. Roars and the sound of impact reached your ears. You climbed up a small hill and stopped, crouching. Cetanu and two large, lizard like creatures were battling. You watched Cetanu land several solid blows on one of them. It shook its head, dazed. The other lizard took the opportunity and charged him from behind. Hearing the approaching animal, Cetanu leapt an amazing height into the air. Folding his limbs in, he flipped backwards and land on top of the furious creature. It turned its head, snapping and hissing.
The fight raged on until only Cetanu stood. Victorious, he roared into the dusk air. Covered in blood and gore, he turned to you. “Come, come. Let’s field dress,” he roared, blood still obviously hot from the fight.
Cautiously, you approached. He was still raging, growling and snapping his mandibles. He was still ready for a fight.
“Okay, here,” you set his gear down a little bit away from him, but conveniently located next to one of the lizard things. He grumbled, “You do it.” Surprised, you froze. Cetanu never let you touch his kills.
“Do it.” He snarled. Quickly coming to life again, you relied on muscle memory. You used to field dress your own hunts back on Earth before Cetanu ‘found’ you, as if you had been a stray. Originally terrified, you had learned that although incredibly violent, he was mostly all bark and no bite with you. But his temper still kept you on your toes. You didn’t mind. He still took care of you better than anyone else in your life ever had. Plus, there was a certain amount of notoriety that being a pet of a Bad Blood brought, and you definitely didn’t mind that.
Thoughts returning to the present, you found yourself elbow deep in teal and purple innards. “You want the teeth from this lizard thingie?”  You asked casually as Cetanu growled and chuffed, trying to calm down.
“YES,” he roared.
“‘Kay,” you calmly responded.
Cetanu made one of his strange Yautja noises, releasing aggression. Finally he calmed and sat down near you. “Give me the teeth,” he commanded.
You scooped up the ones you had already carefully removed and passed them over. He took a shiny little tool and started to work on the teeth in some way. Trying to stay focused, you turned back to the mouth you were performing your gruesome dentistry on.
***
The sun went down just as you finished the first beast. “Come. We’ll do the second one tomorrow. I’ll hang it above camp so nothing messes with it tonight.” He lifted the dead weight easily. You quickly picked up Cetanu’s gear and rushed to catch up with him, using the the ample moonlight to guide your way.
You arrived to camp huffing and puffing. The gear was heavy. You set it down carefully as Cetanu descended from a tree. You looked up; yup there was the lizard, hanging safely overhead.
“Let’s eat; this meat is good.” He grabbed the package of meat you had carefully wrapped earlier. You started a fire as he tenderized and seasoned it.
“Okay. Here.” He tossed the meat to you. Carefully, you put it on your little griddle. It sizzled deliciously. Your mouth watered. You tended to dinner as Cetanu worked on his tooth project. He was using the little tool on them again.
Finally the meat was perfect. You opened a container of a seaweed-like salad you had prepared before leaving home. Making two plates of food, you presented Cetanu with his. Waiting for him to eat, you sat with your plate in your lap.
He grumbled and set his project down. Curious, you tried to figure it out. “Stop guessing what I’m doing. It’s for later,” he grumbled softly. Picking up his utensil, he tried the meat. “Mm, good job cooking. Very nice.” Happy, you dug into your own plate.
***
“Here.”
You sleepily rolled over. “Huh?”
“This is… yours.” Cetanu’s tone was weirdly soft.
You sat up. You rubbed your eyes; you had been half asleep. “What’s mine?”
He threw something small at you. “Don’t be ooman about it,” he growled.
“Okay,” you laughed, picking the thing up. You held your hands up, angling them towards the campfire. It was the teeth, strung on a small, black cord. But the teeth weren’t smooth anymore. You furrowed your brow and took a closer look. English lettering had been precisely carved into them. You read them out loud, left to right C-E-T-A-N-U-S.
You gasped; a collar? For you?
“Did I spell it right in ooman? Your letters are… stupid.” He commented.
You fastened it around your neck. The teeth hit your collarbones in a pleasing way. “Th-thank you.” You stuttered, unsure if saying thanks was ‘being ooman about it.’
“Don’t be ooman about it. Now everyone will know you’re mine. It’s just being practical.” He grumbled.
Turning away from him, you laid back down. You had a huge grin on your face, but you calmly replied, “Yeah, definitely. Makes sense.” You kept on smiling as he gruffly continued to defend his actions. “I see how some other Bad Bloods look at you. You’re taken; they need to get their own.” He growled angrily. “Now, go to sleep. We wake early again to continue the kv’var.” Smiling, you closed your eyes. It would be hard to sleep, but you would do your best to please your Yautja.
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disasterbuck · 3 months ago
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🤡🤡🤡
😣😣😣😣
🥰🥰🥰
thank you!! 🥰
🤡🤡🤡 - not a date
"Hi," he said quietly, suddenly a thousand times more nervous than before.
"So," Buck said as he began making his way to the kitchen. Eddie hesitated briefly, then shut the front door and followed. "I'm ninety-nine percent confident I've got the recipe right. Remember last month when we were at the [parent-teacher] evening and Jessica's mom served those chicken enchiladas? And you practically had an orgasm when you tasted one?"
Eddie felt his cheeks flame with embarrassment and opened his mouth to object – he had not moaned that loudly – but Buck was still talking.
"Well it turns out that Sylvia, Jessica's mom, shops at [place] and we ran into each other a couple weeks ago. She actually saw me first, cause I was kinda in my own world. Anyway, she said hi and we got talking and I remembered the enchiladas you loved so I asked her if I could get the recipe and she said yes!"
Maybe this wasn't a date after all, Eddie thought gloomily, leaning against the table and watching Buck begin dishing the food out onto two plates for them.
😣😣😣😣 - hits different
I'm writing this fic out of order and all over the place lol.
Buck was running late. After being up half the night, tossing and turning with his new realisation, he'd finally fallen asleep only to miss his alarm and then have to dash to make it on time. So when he got to the station, everyone else was already upstairs in the loft.
He got changed quickly, slamming his locker shut on his mess of belongings, and then took a moment to take a steadying breath before making his way up to where the others were.
He could do this. He just had to get through this one shift and then he could ask Eddie if they could talk and…
Buck was grinning when he reached the others.
"I have a date this Friday," Eddie was saying with a shy smile on his face.
Buck came to an abrupt stop, his blood freezing in his veins, as Hen and Chim immediately started crowing excitedly.
"You what?"
The others fell silent, all turning to look at him.
"I… have a date?" Eddie repeated, his smile faltering.
🥰🥰🥰 - confession/surprise date
"I hope it's good. I got the recipe from Ángel a couple of weeks ago and it definitely wasn't as easy as I was hoping it would be. This is actually what I was doing last week when you wanted to hang out and I said I couldn't. I was doing a practise run to make sure I'd know what I was doing when it came to the real thing. And I'm pretty sure you knew something was up so I'm sorry for not telling you but I wanted this to be a surprise, so…
"Anyway, here it is. Your favourite: Red Beef Pozole!"
With a flourish, Buck lifted the lid and smiled shyly/hopefully.
Lips parting in surprise, Eddie leaned forward to get a closer look before inhaling deeply and letting out a quiet groan of pleasure.
"How on earth did you get him to give you the recipe?" he asked. "I swear that man is more tight-lipped than anyone I've ever met."
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