#anyway I'm done writing here. I've confused me now
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clinically-not-straight · 1 year ago
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If I had a penny for the number of times I've seen people explain how the "there's this many genders" thing works and end up explaining what a personality/interest is instead I may have enough to buy a twix or possibly even a large cadburys bar.
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writingquestionsanswered · 5 months ago
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Not to be a downer, but I actually finished my novel and now I’m confused because I don’t want to publish it. I don’t even particularly want anyone other than maybe my two close friends to even read it. What on Earth did I write 40k words (which I know is not really long enough for a novel, but it’s still far and away the longest thing I’ve ever written) for? I know people say “write for yourself” but like… am I just wasting my time? Help?
(p.s. you can leave this off anon)
(p.p.s your blog is really great 👍)
There's No Such Thing as Wasted Writing
I'm going to tackle this two ways...
#1 - "Write For Yourself" - there's a reason this common phrase has echoed through the Hall of Writers since time immemorial. It's because it's true! Writing doesn't have to be anything more than a pastime. It doesn't have to be anything more than something you do for your own benefit and enjoyment.
I have an in-joke with family members about how any time one of us does something the least bit crafty, DIY, skilled, whatever, a particular family member will always say, "You did a great job! You should do it for a living!" Like, someone can't even crochet a Kawaii mushroom without being pressured to turn it into an Etsy dynasty, or paint a cabinet without being pressured to become the next Property Brothers. And that's such a BANANAS capitalistic mindset, isn't it? This idea that nothing can be done purely for our own enjoyment. That you can't just write a novel because you want to... you can only write it if you plan to share it or publish it? It's just so silly.
And, the thing is, we don't even apply that mentality to a lot of other things people do purely for enjoyment. No one is streaming all of Bridgerton in two nights and saying, "I enjoyed every second of that, but why did I do that? Such a waste of time!" No one spends an hour strumming their guitar under the stars on a beach, and then says, "That was so relaxing and fun, but I didn't charge for that performance and I didn't record it to sell it, so that was obviously a waste of time."
You know what I mean?
#2 - And Anyway, Practice Makes Perfect - And if you keep writing--even if you continue not to share or publish--you'll get better and better with each story you write. Which, maybe all that means is you get to appreciate your own improvement, but also, should you ever change your mind and decide to write something to share or publish, you've now spent time honing your skills. Even if those other stories never see the light of day, they're still an important foundation of the writer you become. Do you know how many unpublished novellas, novels, and short stories I have? Too many to count. Hundreds of fan-fiction and original fiction short stories I've only shared with one or two other people, if anyone. A dozen or so novels and novellas that have only been read by a few people, and some haven't been read by anyone else or have only been read by my CPs. I would never consider those stories and novels and novellas to be a waste of time, because I know every single one made me a better writer. My published work is better because I wrote those other things.
So, I hope that makes you feel better. At the very least you hopefully enjoyed writing your novel--or at least got something out of it--and you definitely honed your writing skills, which matters! ♥
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here
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lucasandlily · 5 days ago
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Rui x Reader who is really affectionate, but can't touch him because of The Curse.
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A/N: I'm alive!! Rui my beautiful beautiful tragic boy. I've actually been having a lot of brainrot for this game, particularly an isekai AU that made me contemplate making RP blog (I love you guys btw. This is probably my first fandom where they're so active, I've been really well connected with this fandom somehow and it's so fun!!), so I figured I might as well be writing it down now. This is an idea I've had spinning in my head for a while, so it's VERY self-indulgent/insert, but enjoy!! AO3 link here
Rui's POV. Second-person pronoun "You" is used. Angst! But also fluff!! (825 words)
You’ve always been an affectionate little thing. It’s something Rui finds adorable about you, staying optimistic despite all that looms over you, not letting any of the ghouls he KNOWS can be more than a little much sometimes destroy your positive attitude. It’s as if you decided to be the light in a place that literally has dark in its name, and he lov admires you for that.
He can’t help but feel the bitter green of envy though, when he watches you ruffle Lyca’s hair after he whines at you for treating him like a dog. 
He pointedly turns away from the look Ed gives him over your head when you relax into his chest after he leans over your shoulder.  
He just laughs along at your drunken antics when you nuzzle into Haru’s hand, somehow even more touchy when your cheeks are flushed with alcohol. 
He tries not to remember the flash of hurt, confusion, the first time he’d backed away from your hand when all you wanted to do was give him a pat for a job well done. He doesn’t know if it hurt more when your face morphed into regretful understanding, or when you apologised and told him you’d try not to do it again. 
Rui tells himself it’s for the better when he notices you’ve been avoiding him for the past week. He’d have done the same to you anyway, if he realised his feelings were starting to fester. He tries to not let it get to him when he hears you enter the Obscuary mansion, only to quickly patter up the stairs without stopping by the bar first, as you would have done previously. 
Maybe before, he would have made it a little competition to see who could mess up the other’s hair more. He’d watched you run your fingers through Lyca’s after you’d tousled it out of place, anyway. Maybe in another life, you’d gently hold his face as you showered him with kisses. He’d do the same to you anyway, if he wasn’t forced to keep his hands to himself. 
If he didn’t notice you hold your hand back every time you saw his mask slip. If he didn’t see your hand stop short before pulling it back to tell him he had a bit of hair out of place. 
It’s all just part of the cursed life, he tells himself. He should be getting used to it by now, he sighs as he walks down the hall over to his room. 
Behind him, he hears the jingle of the bell you like to wear on your keychain. He turns at the sound of your quick steps approaching. 
“Rui! Ruiruiruiii!!” You call.
“Ah, there you are! Haha, I’m not going anywhere you know~ though I guess I don’t mind being chased?” He teases as you approach. 
You smile up at him brightly, “I have something to show you!” You tell him, he notices now that you have a hand behind your back. 
“Hm? Aw, did you get me a gift? And here I was thinking you were hiding from me!” He regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth. Your smile falters a bit as you blink at his confession. 
But before he can backtrack with a “Just kidding!” your smile lightens again, eyes filling with some sort of resolve as you pull out… a glove on a stick? in your other hand.
He doesn’t pull away when he feels the simulation of a hand on his head. He can’t, when you look into his eyes with such unmistakable fondness. The awkward, stilted movements as you try to run the imitation hand through his hair communicates how long you’ve wanted to do this, and the tears that well up in his eyes betray how much he’s needed it. 
He feels the cloth soak up the tears when you move the glove down to hold his face. It feels soft under his skin, and he can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. 
“How long did it take you to make this?” He asks as you let him lace his fingers with your hand extension. He squeezes the plush hand, feeling the soft give before it reaches the stick inside, inspecting where the glove and stick are attached. 
“Um! A week? It took a bit of experimenting to get it to stay on… And they don’t really sell gloves on campus either.” 
Your eyes crinkle when you look at him, the corners of your lips pull up triumphantly when he lets go of the hand to let you pat his head again. 
“You deserve at least this much,” you tell him. “I know it’s not really the same or anything, but I don’t wanna leave you out, y’know?” 
“It was worth it though, if it made you happy.” You look into his eyes as you say this, and he can’t help but believe you.
Reblogs and Comments are appreciated! I love you (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。
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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 7 months ago
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Can you write where Ethan as Ghostface kidnaps reader to keep her from the reveal because he loves her and doesn’t want her to get hurt but she falls in love with his masked self so he ends up revealing himself anyway
kinda had to change this a tiny bit, but still got that stockholm syndrome vibe. also I've never done this trope so this might not be great, i tried.
masterlist
“shit. it’s a trap!” chad yelled as he paced around the floor. the lights in the theater cut off cloaking the space in an ominous darkness.
arms stretching in front of you, trying to keep yourself from running into cabinets or people. your heart was hammering against your ribs, quick uneven breaths leaving your mouth. “guys? guys!” not hearing anything back from your friends.
“anyone-“ a gloved hand covered your mouth and it muffled your horrified scream. ghostface got you, you’re already dead. you tried jerking away from them as they dragged you away and further in the abandoned theater. the scratchy material of their robe rubbed at your throat and tickled your stomach.
you could feel the muscle of the stranger beneath their costume, physically telling to you that you were out matched. your harsh breathing from your nostrils filled the hallway along with two steps of footsteps. their hold was tight but not restricted, if you could just kick or swing maybe-
“i wouldn’t try anything, sweetheart.” a low voice whispered in your right ear. they didn’t have the standard ghostface tone, but it sounded like they were trying to disguise it. an involuntary shiver racked your spine and hitched your breath.
continuing in their rush to drag you away they brought both of you to a cluttered closet, sneakers bumping into fallen bottles and soft rolls of towels. practically being shoved into a metal shelf and causing a wooden broom handle to clatter noisily to the linoleum flooring.
"help! help-"
"shut up! i'm trying to save you!" your captor growled and their clunky boots carried themself into your limited space. their towering stature staring down at you through those empty black eyeholes.
"save- save me?" you stuttered, "you've been trying to kill us for a week! sam! chad! help me-" scratchy fabric covered your mouth and part of your nose causing your breathing to be short and panicked.
ghostface leaned in closer, "well you seem like the only good one so I'm being generous and deciding to spare your life. now, i have to go after your friends, but you're gonna stay here until i come back and everything will be okay." waiting for a beat before rushing out back into the light and leaving you to sub come to the dark.
did it make you a bad person, or a bad friend if you were relieved that a serial killer decided you were worth keeping alive? you'd be willing to play their little game for however long until you were ready to run free and disappear, they seemed to have a sort of liking to you. maybe an obsession, they would've been stalking you if they knew your every move and location.
it kinda made you feel a certain way. a romantic, unhinged sort of way. you've heard of people saying how their partner is obsessed with them, but having a stranger being so obsessed with you they're willing to kill everyone else to keep you...
maybe your ex's were right. you were a bit sick in the head.
you weren't sure how long you were locked in the closet. could've been ten minutes could've been an hour, but when you heard rushed footsteps outside the door and the lock turn you rushed forward and threw your arms around your kidnapper.
"let's go before the cops arrive." was all they said after a minute of your hug. your dropped your arms, but they reached for your left hand and dragged you behind. you followed like a lost puppy.
when an exit sign came into view they halted to a stop causing you to bump into their back, confused by their decision. "what's wrong?" rounding to stand in front of them, hands still locked.
"i- i have to stash the costume. don't- don't want you to see my face." they almost seemed worried, concerned about your reaction to their identity.
"hey," you stepped closer, hand reaching to caress the mask, "it's okay. i'm not gonna run. i- i want to stay with you, you saved me." voice dripping in seduction and honey. eyes doeing to further convince them of your alliance to them only.
with their free hand they gripped the chin of the mask and slowly lifted it away until to came free and you were greeted by the shocking sight of- "ethan?" his sweaty curls shading his eyes.
he didn't say anything, just bit into his bottom lip while watching you closely waiting for that inevitable switch that always happens when the killer is revealed in movies. but all he got was a creeping smile changing your face and you saying, "when we're safe i'm gonna make out with you so hard, killer." before he rushed to stripe the black robe off and you both rushed out the deserted building.
hand in hand. grinning like the psychos you are.
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feyascorner · 10 months ago
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You writing is amazing! I eat it right up!
Now this idea has been stuck in my hand for a while. Tav that wants to give Astarion blood but are horrified of needles and that fear applies to his fangs. So when they try to give blood the instinctively move away even when Astarion "The bit comes in 3 2 1" but Tav insist on trying again. When Astarion finally gets some blood Tav straight just goes "Oh okay great" and faceplants in the ground. When they wake up again they say the weirdest shit because they are still whoozy something like "Hey Astarion do crabs think fish can fly?"
Anyway have a nice day :]
im crying they're so silly...also i wrote like the dumbest questions but they're genuine questions so pls if anyone has answers...
"Just do it."
He nods. "Very well."
"Wait, no, I need a countdown."
"Fine. Three...two..."
"Actually, it's too nerve-racking, just--"
Astarion pulls his face away from the crook of your neck, eyes lidded as he sighs. "Darling, if it's too difficult..."
"It's not that bad. I want to help you, and you said this would make you more powerful in battle," you insist, bursting with enthusiasm but not enough to will you through your deathly fear of needles---or anything sharp for that matter. "I've done it before, I can do it again."
"Yes, love, but the last time we did this, you had me do it while you were asleep. You also woke up and punched me in the chest, even though you're the one who suggested the idea."
"I can do it this time! Just try again!"
Despite his hesitance, he follows your request, gently inching you closer and leaning into your neck. His breath feels cool on your skin, but the second you feel him nearing too close, you pull away again instinctively. He doesn't even seem surprised this time.
"Okay, maybe we should just do it while I'm sleeping again-"
He grabs either side of your face, pressing a kiss on your cheek and then another on the side of your nose. He trails down to your chin, and before you can even tell what he's doing, your face is flushed in embarrassment. So much so that you don't even realize he's trailed down your chin and his fangs are now right at your neck. "What are you--"
It pricks.
Astarion tries to make it brief, regardless of how badly he wants to drink more, because he can sense how limp you feel in his arms. He pulls away, licking at the excess on his lips with a triumphant grin. "There. Exquisite as always."
But you only stare at him blankly. His smile drops. It worries him.
"Oh, okay," you blink. "That's great."
You would've face planted straight into the floor had he not barely grabbed you by the back of your shirt.
You only awake a few hours later, groggily rubbing at your eyes while Astarion looms over you with pursed lips, and you wonder how long he's been sitting here. When your eyes peel open, he groans, shoulders slumping in relief.
"There you are, I thought I'd nearly killed you again!" he smiles, reaching for a plate of fruits beside your bedroll. "Now feed yourself before you go and pass out on me aga--"
"Your hair reminds me of a white rat I saw last week."
He stops.
"Why do you think Karlach's underwear doesn't burn off? Are they enchanted? I want enchanted underwear."
Ah, he realizes. You've finally lost your mind.
Your lips stretch dreamily. "Maybe I can ask Withers to make my underwear glow in the dark."
"No, before we move on, let's discuss that rat comment."
"Do crabs think fish can fly?"
"I---I suppose they would?..." He's at a loss of words, which is especially rare for him.
You blink wearily at him, staring at a spot on the wall behind his head. He'd think your confusion to be adorable if it weren't for the borderline offensive comments you were spouting out like a broken water fountain. "Do vampires poop, Astarion?"
You've crossed the borderline now. He runs a hand down his face, sighing. "Please stop talking, my love."
"You can technically eat food, even though it tastes bad, right?" you raise a brow, squinting at him. "So where does that food go? Do you poop it out or does it just kind of slide ou--"
"Okay, that's quite enough talking for today," he shoves an apple into your mouth. He snickers at how you struggle to take a bite. "No more questions until you finish the entire bowl."
Fortunately for him, you fall back asleep before you're even finished with the apple. And he's grateful you do because even he himself doesn't know the answer to that question.
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onepiece-asl-lover · 6 months ago
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So you're up for requesting? Cuz it would be cute if Child Sabo and Luffy try to help Ace confessing his love towards reader (Salute from Mexico)
Hello! I would love to do this so here we go!(Also Salute from America)
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All three boys sat near a pile of bushes as they watch a girl-Y/N picking around for flowers.
"Okay Ace so why did you bring us here for?" Sabo whispered as he looked at Ace.
"Alright..I need your guys help for me to confess to Y/N"" Ace said his entire face red.
"Okay." Sabo and Luffy said blankly.
"Why the hell are you so calm! Was it really that easy to know!" Ace whisper shout.
"Ya" Luffy and Sabo replied.
Ace sighed as he rubbed his temple as he looked back at them.
"Fine, does any of you guys have any ideas?"
"I think, I'll write some down and we can make a list of ideas" Sabo said as he grabbed a notepad from his pocket.
"Maybe you can give her meat!" Luffy chuckled as both Ace and Sabo slapped their face as Luffy idiotness.
"Not everything can work with meat Luffy" Ace turned as Luffy mumbled wanting some meat.
"Okay I have some ideas, you can give her flowers, compliment her, make her something, helping her with daily tasks, or just confess"
"Hm. Well I guess compliment will work this time, how do I do that?"
"Just say "you have beautiful eyes."
"Great idea Sabo!" Ace snaps as he dusts himself off as he walks over to you.
Ace puts his hands on his hips and he has a flushed angry face.
"I have beautiful eyes!" Ace shouts as you both look at eachother.
Question marks appear above your head as you tilt your head trying to understand what he's getting.
"..yes?" You respond as you slightly smile as you continue picking flowers.
Behind the bush
"Dang that didn't work did it" Luffy spoke up.
"This bitc-" Sabo says as he face palms himself.
A few days later
"Ace, I ran out of ideas none of them worked, it always leave both of you confused I guess your fate" Sabo sighs.
"Ya Ace! You're just not good!" Luffy laughed as he was quickly covered in lumps by Ace.
"Nobody asked you Luffy....anyways what do we do now, I'm not stopping until I've finaly confesssed."
"You know you could just directly confess?" Sabo suggested.
"No!..it just going to be embarrassing" Ace mumbled.
"We should ask Makino for advice!" Luffy exclaimed.
"Not a bad idea" Ace and Sabo say in usion.
At Makino place
"You need helping to confess to somebody?" Makino asked as she looked at the three boys in front of her.
"Ya" the three boys say together.
"Who are you confessing to and who's confessing?" Makino asks.
"Y/N and Ace wants to confess" Sabo and Luffy say as they point at Ace.
"Alright so have you tried complementing her?" Makino asks.
"Ya"
After a long line of asking "if they have done this"
"Wow so you did do everything. Hmm how about you try just having a quite and calm time moment"
All three boys look at eachother as they raise their eyebrows as they look back up at the lady.
"We haven't tried that yet" Sabo speaks up.
"Let's do it!" Luffy shouts as they all run back to setup there plans.
In there treehouse
"Okay Ace just breath and talk about what you like and when it feels good, ask. Alright?" Sabo rehearsed.
"Ya ya I know" Ace says as he dusts himself off and cleans himself up and fixing his hair.
"Alright let's rehearse" Sabo said as he puts a girl like voice.
"Hello Ace do you need somthing?"
"Uh-uh I-er"
"No Ace it will never work if you do that" Luffy jumps in.
"Sigh okay let's do it again. This is going to be a long while until we finish." Sabo says as he puts on a girl like voice.
....
After hours and hours of rehearsing Ace finally gets it. At the moment the three are watching from afar as they see you sit ontop of a rock braiding your hair in boredom.
"Okay there she is, just walk up calmly and quietly and make the scene calm alright?"
"I know I got it" Ace says as he begins to walk over to you.
Sabo quickly grabbed his arm as he pulled him back.
"Hey Sabo why did you grab me?!" Ace whispered shouted but when he saw Sabo put a finger up and point at you. Ace went silent seeing a boy walk up to you.
This wasn't really happening, it wasn't possible! Since when was there a boy in love with you? And how long had he been in love with you?? Had you ever spoken to each other? Was he your friend?? He thought that your only friends were himself, Sabo and Luffy...
The figures of two children facing each other not far away, ontop of a big rock. There was no doubt about it, it was you and that boy.
Ace watched you two, gritting his teeth. That little boy was holding a letter and he was reading it to you. Wait... No, that wasn't just a letter...
"HE WROTE HER A LOVE LETTER?!" the three exclaimed in chorus under their breath.
Ace felt jealousy grow in his body more and more when he saw the way that little boy was reciting the words of love he dedicated to you. You on the other hand, looked at him with flushed cheeks.
Ace almost had the instinct to punch himself. Stupid, why hadn't he thought of this before?? Why hadn't he had the courage to tell you before?!
"A-And so i'd like to ask you i-if..."The three pricked up their ears as they heard the words of the boy who was stuttering from shyness.
"I-If... If you want to be my girlfriend?"
"WHAAAT?!" Ace, Sabo and Luffy wanted to scream, but they miraculously managed to keep their voices low.
For a few moments silence fell. Until you flashed a smile at the boy.
"Oh no! Is she going to say yes to him??" Luffy whispered in panic.
You squeezed your hands shyly.
"I-" you murmured.
Until...
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!!"The boy let out a cry of terror when you saw Ace's body pop out of a bush and run at full speed towards you and your eyes widened.
"Ace?!"
Ace positioned himself in front of you and crossed his arms over his chest.
Ace returned the look with a murderous one and in his mind he cursed himself for not having brought his pipe with him, to be able to threaten him better.
"W-Who are you??" the boy asked, looking at him fearfully.
"Get lost, loser" he said in an icy tone.
The little boy let out a squeak and ran away with tears in his eyes, taking his love letter with him.
"Ace, what are you doing here?!" you asked, more shocked than angry at his intrusion.
Ace turned to look at you, taking a step towards you.
"Would you have said yes?" he asked you back.
You tilted your head and furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.
"Psst Ace!" Luffy whispered shouted as Ace looked back, Sabo giving him a very pretty flower.
Luffy and Sabo give him a thumbs up and backing away to give the two space.
"H-Here. These are for you..." Ace murmured, then handed you the flower.
Your eyes widened, surprised by his loving gesture.
"Thank you" you smiled as you see Ace shuffle around.
He nodded and you gently took them from his hands, immediately feeling the delicate scent of tge flower invade your nostrils.
Ace fidgeted as he looked for your reaction. He mumbled words you didn't understand his cheek a bright red.
"And ya..me..makino-.help..I" (bro speaking gibberish at this point.
Smack~
Ace fell silent when he felt your soft lips rest on his freckled cheek for a few seconds and when he quickly turned to look at you, he saw you smiling shyly, hidden behind the flower petals.
"I-I really like them, Ace. Thank you"
Ace felt like his heart wanted to jump out of his chest.
"And anyway..." you continued then, clutching the flowers to your chest. "I wouldn't have said yes to him. B-Because... Because i already like someone else..."
Ace's hands began to sweat, as did his forehead and it felt like his stomach was flipping with emotion. He had never felt this way before.
"O-Oi, that someone..." he swallowed nervously. "T-That someone isn't Sabo or Luffy... Is it?"
You shaked your head as your cheeks become the same shade of his as you whispered.
"No. Its you" you blushed as you covered your face with petals.
You took his hand and Ace's eyes widened, then he squeezed it, making your fingers intertwine.
Behind him, Luffy and Sabo opened their eyes wide and then high-fived each other with satisfied smiles.
"Hey Y/n" he murmured looking at you.
“Do you want to come with me to explore the forest?”
You nodded without hesitation, closing your eyes.
"Sure Ace"
...
Behind them the two boys chuckled as they made some jokes.
"It wasnt the way I imagined but it worked" Sabo says as he sits down with Luffy sitting down next to him.
"So are Y/N and Ace married now?" Luffy asked tilting his head.
"No they are to young and that's not how you get married Luffy." Sabo replied.
"Ah makes sense" Luffy said.
"Young love" Sabo sighs as he layed back smiling Luffy joined.
"Never say that you sound like an old women." Luffy said as both boys laughed.
I loved this so much! But some of this is inspiration from an writer I knew long ago. I love writing for the young ASL TRIO they are the best! @captainportgasdace
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knightyoomyoui · 8 months ago
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TWICE Sana x M/F Reader - "I Want It That Way"
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I'M BACK. After 3 months of no update, your one and only Knight Yoo-Myoui returns to bring you readers more stories in my book. Author's been in a really tough situation especially last month, but that still ain't gonna be enough to take out my passion and motivation to continue writing for both mine and your entertainment. I'm gonna continue this as long as I can. However, from now on; please understand and expect that I won't be updating very often like weekly or everyday as before. Studies is my current priority as of the moment but I promise that I will always update yall. Actually though, this new kind of pacing for both my writing procedure and publishing has somehow lessen the pressure in me. I'm really liking it so far, makes me comfortable. This story is requested by ShaShaSha029 BUT..., sorry Sha because I made some changes on your requested plot hehe. I already made the same concept from my previous works so I used your other request from another member to come up with something new that I haven't done yet. And as for the other member you requested to me, I'll give you a brand new plot for her. I hope you and the readers will like this. Enjoy reading! STREAM "I GOT YOU" and "ONE SPARK" MVs btw!
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"I'm going home, guys. I'll leave the office to you all."
YN/LN, a current 4th year student from Cheongnamdong Polytechnic University and the campus' ongoing president of the student council, has just finished your tasks for today and is now about to depart from their office and send your goodbyes to your fellow members kindly to end the day on a positive note.
"Be safe on your way home, Pres!"
"You too."
You continued walking after sending him all the bright greetings, but before passing to your own cubicle and reaching the door, it opened. You then heard some footsteps behind it until a familiar figure made its presence known in front of you.
You watched your classmate, friend, and the secretary of their council, Yoo Janghoon, peeking at the door with a weird smile before you find him standing on your way.
Janghoon then approached YN.
"Seems like you're about to leave."
"Yeah." You nodded. " What's with your smile in your face? You look like you just saw something amusing.", he said in a judgmental look.
"Not with my own eyes, but the words I've heard are enough to picture her on mind." Janghoon smirked and bounced his brows.
"Her? You're into hunting chicks again?"
"Idiot, I have a girlfriend now, ofcourse I'm not." Janghoon mocked YN as he was about to throw a punch. "But seriously though, not even me could deny that it really does interest me."
"Why, what's going on out there?"
"Well, I've heard from my acquaintances from the other courses that there's a newly transferred female student here in the campus earlier after the class break."
"That late?"
"Yeah, I was a bit confused too but they said the professor just let it passed because they said that her documents were finalized at the last minute so that's why." YN hummed to react.
"And would you like to enlighten me what's so interesting with this random transferee student? I mean, no offense. Welcome aboard to the university but... what's special?"
"Dude, I'm telling you, it's not just "random", this girl was a legit bombshell. Based from how they described her, it was like when she stepped on the room, they felt like there was a legit goddess that got manifested into reality."
"And that's it?"
"Y-yeah... but you know and I know, dude. Our university has been missing it's "queen" for quite some time now. And probably the students are making noise about it is because they see a huge potential on her."
"Okay. Well, I do hope she doesn't feel overwhelmed with the attention she's about to receive on the next days of her stay here."
"But we're here as the council officers to take control, right?"
"Exactly." you nodded. "Anyways, gotta go now. I still have a family dinner not to miss."
"Alright, take care pres."
"You too, sec."
You left the office and the campus with a curiosity forming in your heart and mind on the identity of this woman that has been the center of the gossips you were unaware of due to how busy you are on the duties.
Arrived at home, you entered and got welcomed by your mother who is preparing their table for a lovely dinner tonight while your father is busy watching basketball on the living room.
"Good evening, mom."
"Good eve, YN. Tired?", she said while placing the plates on the table.
"Not that much but I would be glad to rest as always.", you spoke with a timid smile.
"Perfect, meal's coming right up real soon. Join your father there, okay?"
"Okay. Thanks, mom."
You walked near to your father and greeted him courteously. You sat beside him and laid your back comfortably on the soft cushion of the couch to release all the pent-up exhaustion your body has consumed on today's packed class schedule.
Minutes later, your mother commands both you and your father to position yourselves on the seats. Each grabbing their own meal, all of you started praying first before taking your first bites and swallow on such a delicious food.
"Uhm, dear. We want to talk to you about something." Your mother inserted a topic to be discussed.
"Sure, mom. I'll be listening. What is it about?"
"It's like a business talk but this also concerns about your personal life too, YN which we much rather prioritize." Your father said after swallowing his throat. "We meet up with our partners on the company regarding this and we all come to an agreement."
"Agreement to what?"
"Me and your mother are placing you in an arrangement contract with their child."
"Wait, come again?"
"Arrangement contract. It means we set you up with someone as your age to date and marry one day, and we figured out that to strengthen the connection between us, we decided to-"
"Yes, wait. I know that part, dad but... why need to? Wasn't it too early? I get that you want me to have a wife and a family someday but... it's not one of my priorities so far.", you complained.
"YN, please do understand that your mother and I ain't be getting younger as time goes on. Someday, you'll be alone, and we just wanted to give you another family that you would be glad to remain and... hopefully, to remember us like how we raised you from the beginning."
"But wasn't this too fast? You're making me rush things."
Both sides went silent, as the father felt guilty also for how true your words are.
"It's my life. You may be the one who gave me that but I developed and earned a right to decide what's right for my future."
"We know, son... but we had no choice. It's for the sake also of our business. You know that we have to keep it to the mountain top so that we don't have our efforts of raising it go to waste, especially when this is the main reason how me and your mother were able to give you a better life that you deserve. And some way or another, you will be for sure, the one who will take the mantle and own my properties. You can use it also to raise your family easier."
"We are not forcing you to do this, YN. Please, we just wanted to inform you and talk about this because you also have a side and opinion to be heard. Whatever your answer may be, we will respect it. We are just suggesting, but hopefully you can consider it, honey." Your mother's soft voice effectively kept you at ease more.
Taking deep breaths and a short length of silence to contemplate, you looked at them both as you made your choice. "Fine. This is because I love you both and I owe you two everything. I'm doing it."
They both smiled in relief. "Thank you for this, son/daughter."
"No problem. So... can you tell me more about this contract?"
"Well it's simple, an arranged contract but we requested to have you and the girl we chose to spend 30-days or let's say a month to get to know each other and figure things out if you two would believe that everything will work out as a couple." Your father explained.
"And who's the girl that you guys have prepared for me?"
"They have an only child just like us, and it's an easier idea to place her because as we learned, their daughter is currenly in search of finding somebody to love."
"Sadly, we're unalike."
"But she may be able to change your mind, on whatever that hold your heart back. You accepted the offer, now you just have to see how she really is, but we're certainly sure that she's good just like her parents."
"And what's her name?"
"We haven't been introduced nor asked for her name, but from what we know, her nickname should be "Minatozaki", and is Japanese. She was also studying now at the same campus as yours."
"I'll try to look for her and maybe we can talk there privately."
"Whatever you want, YN. Just keep us updated okay?"
"Noted." You replied before everyone returned on focusing to finish their foods.
The next day, you were a bit irritated from how the discussion last night distracts you in the middle of your duty. You couldn't concentrate at the curiousity that dwells inside of you.
So you decided to to take a break outside. You encountered a vacant spot to breathe some fresh air and drink at the iced coffee you prepared on your tumbler as you roam your eyes around at your surroundings.
That's where you spotted some group of students huddling around at a spot near the bulletin board, as if they're being crazy or attentive at something.
Eager to find out the rucus, you approached the scenario and tried to peek around, and there you noticed a female student entertaining the other fellow students by asking her randomly and even asking for some pictures like she is a celebrity.
As she turned around, her long chestnut colored hair flips around as if it denied the gravity, her side profile appeared, until it all fully rotated to have her face evident at you for the first time.
And my oh my the rumors shared by your secretary were true.
No wonder why she was already popular, she does look magnificent, enough to be mistaken as a famous personality.
Your eyes couldn't leave the sight of her just doing everything even in such bare minimum if movements that still effortlessly made her very attractive. Thankfully, there's your boy distracting you as you snapped back when you felt a shoulder wrapped on your neck.
"You finally met her." Janghoon said, smirking at you. "From what I heard earlier, the exchange student's name's Minatozaki Sana. She's a foreigner, a Japanese to be specific."
"Minatozaki?" Your thoughts murmured. Contemplating if you heard it right, but that was the same surname your father was tasked you to find, and she even has the same nationality.
Having exchange students in your campus are very rare.
You are flabbergasted as you slowly realize that... this woman is going to be the one you'll date and marry.
Unconsciously, you turned around at Janghoon with your forehead crumpled and mouth slightly gaped.
"What? Did I say something wrong?"
"Oh n-no. Not-thing." You shook your head swiftly. Returning your gaze back at her, you couldn't believe it at all that your parents and her friends does picked a perfect girl for you.
But you wondered if it could be said the same about you.
Hours later, Sana who was about to enjoy her recess, instead went to the council office to meet the president, as per the classmates told her after being tasked to do so.
She stepped in front of the door that says "Student Council Office, knock twice before entering". She followed and slowly pushed the doorknob. A person sitting at the far end of the room, looking busy on his desk greeted her.
As the door closed, it alarmed the president that the person is now here for a scheduled conversation, only that when you raised your head, you looked at her having a shocked reaction.
Sana stares at the reveal of this mysterious person that runs the entire student government of the campus. Flashbacks began to run back into her mind, slowly making her upset.
"Thank you for agreeing to come here and t-"
"Am I looking at this very clearly?" Sana immediately spoke.
"Pardon?"
"You? Out of everyone here... was chosen to become a leader?"
"W-what? Settle down, miss. I think you n-"
"A representative figure for everyone, and I get to be under your orders around here?" Sana chuckled bitterly. "I didn't know that even after years later, we'll still have our paths crossing onto each other despite how I wanted to never meet you in my life again."
"D-do we know each other?"
Sana scoffed as she looked at you ridiculously. "Ofcourse, how could you recognize me. First of all, I was just a complete nothing to you. A plaything of your cruel antics and delinquent actions. And second, I'm not the same girl you used to belittle everyday."
You furrowed your eyebrows as you looked at her intently. "W-what... you..."
"Still doesn't ring a bell? Oh, how about this. The name Minatozaki Sana? That fat nerdy girl back in elementary that you used to bully so hard in our 8th year that forced her to transfer to other school. How about that?"
Your eyes sprung open as you instantly remember the name and that student you used to include in one of your prime victims in your dark past.
That description of her past self brought you back to the times when you remembered looking for her first to rather mock, annoy, or play with her until her feelings broke and look helpless.
You were a bully before in elementary days, and she was your classmate back then. But that was all only the past now as you are now a changed person, with all the better and positive things that came into your life had taught you more valuable and nice things to consider yourself reevaluating your personality.
But it looks like it could tell the opposite for Sana's part.
"I remember you now, Sana. And... please, let me tell you right now that I'm not the same person you used to despise before."
"Do you really think I'll be fooled easily by that?" Sana retorted. "We just met after what... 7 years and you're supposed to have me believing that when in fact, I still look at you as that same horrific figure I never should've want to see again, but yet here you are."
Sana still didn't took a seat. She walked around and observed the room. You were a bit relieved that all of your council members are absent in this tense confrontation. "What a hypocrisy it is to have you getting involved in an organization that focuses on student rights when in fact, you have a record of violating it before. Shouldn't be a student fitting for that must be... clean?"
"Sana, believe me or not, I changed. I wouldn't even dare to take this position if I'm not sincere for it, and I'm not forcing you to believe me."
"Oh, ofcourse you should. Because I really don't buy everything that comes into your mind not until I see it" Sana shook her head and smugged. "Maybe it'll change my mind of me planning to expose you from every-"
"Wait! You can't be serious?"
"Oh indeed I am." Sana clicked her tongue. "You ruined me before, but here I am who helped myself and from people I loved to become this better version of mine to stand here in front of you, I'm going to get you this time, YN. I'm going to make you feel what is it like being... excluded."
She leaned forward on the desk, staring at you sharply and observing your nervous expression. "But...if there's some sort of a miracle that... you did changed. Then you're going to prove it on me. Make me convinced that this YN I hate with every fiber of my being is... gone."
"What if I tell you that you already have a chance to make me?"
"And that is?"
"Have you heard about an arrangement contract from your parents?"
"Y-yeah... but they don't tell me who it is because- WAIT" Sana quickly lunged back away from you. "Please tell me who I'm thinking is correct."
"Sorry to tell you but I was just in denial as you are yesterday."
"Oh God." Sana poured out the biggest disappointment she felt in her entire life so far. "W-why does my fate has to be very unlucky everytime when it's about you? Me being in an arranged contract with you? I think I have to vomit."
"Wait! But you said you want me to prove that I changed?"
"And you really think I want it this way?" Sana looked at you disgusted. "Being as this fabled student council president or just a random student from me would be fine but... YOU AS MY FIANCE? That won't do, mister." Sana swayed her pointing finger. "Unfortunately, the answer would be NO. Now please, I have to go already. I still have a lunch to take before I lose my appetite."
Sana walked away from you and left the room unbotheredly. You sat there, back falling flat on your swivel chair. Your hands caressed your hair as you reacted unbelievably and stunned that this heavily improved Sana that you used to know many years before has returned to actually be your woman, but unfortunately, her hatred for you still lives on her till this day.
Her opposal didn't worked however, as Sana tried to request later during dinner, she was informed by her parents that the contract can only be cancelled after 30-days for the people to finally reassure their decision.
She mentioned that YN and her have a bad history in the past, but instead her parents reasoned out that maybe YN has changed and it will not hurt to give another chance. If only they know what the real reason it is, but Sana was clearly affected by their suggestion because honestly, Sana is a forgiving soft type of person.
Still, confident that she's satisfied with her answer, she became impatient and hated being with YN more.
Meanwhile, you shared to your mother about how the unlikedness of you and Sana's interests about the marriage arrangement in a deatiled manner.
"We met and had a talk, but... it wasn't as proper and civil as I expected because, I was surprised that she confessed something very familiar to me. Something that I've been trying to get it out on my head. Something that I wanted to let go for a long time."
"What was she to you before?"
"A nuisance, even though she wasn't doing even wrong. I look at her before thinking it wasn't right for her to be in this type of high class campus that I study at too, but then I figured out that me ending up bullying and making her emotional and mental state suffer is way worse than she is."
You flinched when your mother slapped you in the head. "What??? How could you bully someone?! Is that how we raised you?"
"Mom, wait ofcourse no... but, I was just made to be like that because of what happened to us, you know that!"
Your mother became speechless and a glimpse of pity became visible to you. "But it's all good now, mom. I'm not like that anymore, I'm telling you.  And that's what I should've just wanted to prove to Sana but... I understand that she won't let me anymore. I broke her too much, I can't let it happen again."
Stepping closer in front of you, she placed her hands gently on your shoulders to massage them and make your ease down. "Even I was mad and disappointed that you once turned into that type of guy you never should be, but I know from the bottom of my heart that you will always be a good kid of mine because that's how I raised you to be. You just got affected too much by our struggles before. And I believe you always, YN. The only thing I can do now for you to support you, and that is for you to keep on moving forward and never stop to make Sana forgive you, alright?"
"I will. Thanks, mom."
She patted you on the cheek. "Goodluck, okay? You have a month to do it."
----------
"Okay, class dismissed. Group 1, remember to prepare your report by next week okay?"
"Yes, prof!", the students who are part of the group that the professor mentioned chanted.
The professor left the room, leaving the students have the freedom to eat lunch during their vacant time.
"Sana, cmon! Did you bring a lunch with you?", one of Sana's classmates asked her while she's clearing her table.
"No, I'm gonna buy for today."
"Nice, let's go!"
Sana brought her wallet and cellphone with her, joins her newfound friends named Miyeon and Sullyoon as they make their way out to the classroom.
However, as they were about to, a figure suddenly pops out of the doorway, stopping their tracks. The two classmates of hers had a visible shock in their faces unlike to Sana, her bright mood quickly shrank down into a gloomy one.
"Hi, sorry if I'm almost late." You straightened your lips. "Good thing I was about to catch you leaving yet, let's go eat lunch together."
Miyeon and Sullyoon's jaw dropped at the student council president's proposal. Sana's eyebrows knitted hardly. "Huh? What nonsense are you saying?"
"Why? I'm just going to invite you to eat with me?"
"With you?" Sana scoffed and chuckled. "You have the guts, I'll give you that... but NO." Sana leaned forward at you to say this.
"Let's go girls."
Sana was just commanding her classmates and taking a step again away from you but in her surprise, she felt her body being pulled by a force. She tried to process what happened, and there she found her skin contacting with yours as she stood by your side...
with your hands wrapped around her waist.
Miyeon and Sullyoon's eyes largened in utter shock at what they're seeing. They couldn't believe that such a new transferee would get to gain closeness and change the behavior of the famously respected and knowned leader of the students around the campus.
Sana's lungs skipped functioning as soon as she felt your fingers dug deeper into her skin. Her face then starts to turn red and her face showing almost hilariously stunned reaction, with no hint of an idea what has turned you to be like this today.
"Pardon me for Sana's antics right now, we just had a fight yesterday and I wanted to come up a solution to fix that." You said in a melodic and apologetic tone to them. Sana was dumbfounded at the ridiculous fake words you are talking about.
"W-wha"
Sana wasn't able to finish her words, when she felt herself getting pulled again, now squeezed against your body which intensified her heartbeat and blushes.
"So, please. Can we eat together today, love?"
Any words that are synonym to what I mentioned earlier can be heavily applied now to all three women witnessing the sudden change of the president's act.
You led the way, bringing Sana with you as both crossed the hallway with the confused and flabbergasted duo following on the back while some of the students can see the two having this kind of contact has began to grab attention.
As they reached the cafeteria, Miyeon and Sullyoon shyly approached the "couple". "Uhm, Sana. I think we can just eat sometime. We'll let you have you two your private time okay?"
"B-but w-"
"Thank you for being considerate on us, girls." You smiled humbly at them and they nodded before they left you and Sana to find their own seat. As the two of you remained, Sana's face crumpled and seethed much air to unleash her full force on escaping to your touch.
She quickly unhooks your arm on her waist, pushed you aside, and punched you in the shoulder. "Oww!"
"Seriously, what the hell did you do to me, YN?!" Sana started to bicker out on you. "How come you just started to spit out and let my friends hear and see you assuming that we have a relationship now, huh?! Did you ate something bad that had you acting like crazy today?"
"Nope. I'm perfectly fine, and what I did there earlier, consider getting used to that." You replied. "Because from now on, I'll be going to do it with you again and again and again a-"
"Woah wait no what?!" Sana paused you. "And why is that, huh? I haven't even agreed yet on the deal-"
"But was the contract got cancelled?"
Sana fell speechless. She remembered yesterday that she swore to dump the contract by requesting to her parents after she gave her disapproval. However, she failed to do so.
You took her silence as yes. "I suppose it didn't. If it does, my parents would've informed me immediately."
"Yeah yeah yeah, you won. So what? You still can't just do it like that to me randomly. I still haven't gave you the consent to touch me or do anything lovey dovey around me. Just because the contract states that we are arranged to be a couple that doesn't mean I can let you easily do everything free around me. Especially when the fact that I still hate you so much." Sana pointed at you as she stares deeply within you.
"Alright, fine. You do have a point. I shouldn't have done it. It's my fault, I made you uncomfortable, and I'm sorry for that." You spoke in a calm tone. Sana got her insides tugged at your sudden softer behavior. "But just know this, I hope you can let me do these with everything I can. No matter how much you deny, we are still stuck in an arranged contract that has a month allowed on us to come up on a decision if we'll take a marriage, and that gives each of us the right to do what couples does.
And I'm going to use it also, for me to prove myself to you that I've changed through all these years, Sana. Consider it me acting or say whatever you want, but when it comes to you, I'll show my improved self and nothing less than that." You said plainly to her. Sana is just listening at you patiently, sticking out important details to her mind while her emotions were a bit being brought by your committed words.
"I can't force you to love me back and have our marriage settled someday after the deadline comes, I wasn't even into love these days but I had no choice but to follow. But, I really do hope that before or when these all ends, I can hear you saying that I am now forgiven."
Sana was struggling to come up for a words to answer, and you took the opportunity to let her have time to remember and process everything as you locate a seat and bought foods for both of you. You left the still pissed off Sana became completely silent and come back to join her in an awkward lunch together.
That went on and on, with you trying to get along with Sana through most of the occasions. You supposed to take it all as a yes coming from Sana that you were being a chance to prove everything to her that you are not this same bad person she used to resist before.
With your frequent actions around Sana led to the campus knowing also about your rumored relationship with her.. Some were supportive that the president finally get to have a girlfriend such perfect as Sana while some were not due to the reason of jealousy most concerning about the fact that they are not the ones standing on the shoes or position of either you or Sana.
That didn't affected both of you, especially Sana who is trying her best to become unbothered with all of these because she is too tired to explain it to many people for some truth that everyone wouldn't accept easily. She knows it all to herself anyway that it's all part of the act, that none of them are interested with each other or has a growing fond being developed.
Not until one day, she accidentally finds you tutoring a female student in the library. She saw how entertained you are on how easily the girl gets to understand quickly with your teaching, thus turning you both looking happy together.
Feeling a bit uncomfortable at the scene, her lips unconsciously forming into a frown. Sana instead leaves the room and went on to return with her friends who noticed her bad mood as she buried her head around her crossed arms on the desk.
It all procceeded until their next subject when the girls tried to approach her about it. "Hey, Sana what's with the grumpy look?" Miyeon said as she peeked at Sana who looks completely out.
"You weren't participating with us lightly, what happened when you left the room earlier?" Sullyoon added.
"Yeah, you seemed in a no good mood."
"Nothing." Sana blabbered.
"Was it YN?"
"I said NOTH-" Sana paused and realized that she just made herself obvious, Miyeon and Sullyoon were just staring at her.
"Welp, that confirms it." Sana sighed. "Care to tell us what's the problem?"
She remained silent. She wasn't sure why she's getting a bit embarassed to reveal it until she also got nervous when her friends began to list down some of the possible things a couple creates problems.
"Was he cold to you today?"
"Hmm maybe you're the one who's not?"
"Or... could it be somebody's jealous-"
"What, no?!" Sana rapidly reacted. Miyeon and Sullyoon exchanged a "gotcha" look.
"Oh unnie, you're too obvious." Miyeon laughed.
"Jealous of what? Or should we say, who?" Sullyoon curiously asked.
"S-stop! I said it's nothing, okay! There's no chance in hell that I am jealous because of him." Sana made a "tch" sound on her mouth. "I don't even like him at all." She rolled her eyes as she whispered it, barely to be heard by her friends who returned focusing on their own. As she was left alone with her trouble, her eyes went staring at the window, she sighed deeply as she felt a strange regret inside her after saying those words while remembering what she saw back in the library.
As if she meant it.
Hours later, Sana bids goodbye to Miyeon and Sullyoon before she walked at the hallway all by herself. She stopped on her steps when she felt this unsettling feeling near her shoulder.
Her head goes turning around, searching for something but was unsuccessfully. Sana sighed and shook her head. "YN isn't coming. That guy/girl is a student council president, Sana. He/she's probably busy." she muttered to herself.
Sana continued to move, with a blank face and a moderate speed. As the afternoon light about to engulf her, she felt her sling bag slowly float, the weight she's carrying quickly became lighter.
Her breath got taken away shortly in surprise until she realized what caught her from that action.
It was you, smiling while standing beside her as you taking off her bag gently from her shoulder.
"May I?"
Sana didn't respond, she just let her arm spread a bit to let the strap fall, easily allowing it to fall from your posession.
"You do look like having a bad day." you peeked at her expression. Sana slightly got shy, and turns her face away as she pouted while rolling her eyes arrogantly.
"You just noticed? I'm always like this whenever you're around me."
"You sure there's nothing more than that? I know it's pretty much of a 'me' problem but... can you be more specific?"
"Oh come on, wasn't that enough for you? Stop triggering me, please. I said what I said, you are an eyesore that's why." Sana crosses her arm. She started to walk down the stairs as you slowly followed her with a faint smile on your lips.
"Okay, if that's what you say. I'll just be here behind you. Too bad, I wanted to lead the way because I want take us somewhere unwinding first." You sighed and tightened your lips. Sana heard it, sensing a weird sensation through her. She must be saying no or even meaner than that, but how come she became more curious?
Sana heaved out a large breath of air before pausing on her walk with a stomp. She turned around to face you as she gestures you to come forward. "It's only because I needed it."
And you grinned thankfully.
The two of you went to a cliff from a road outside of Seoul. Just in time, Sana was about to whine about how dangerous this place you chose until she was distracted of the magnificent sunset in display to the skyview.
Each of you took a picture, with her being first. You clicked the button, instead the shot accidentally captures Sana turning her attention back at you. As she approaches you, you dragged down your phone in embarassment and nervousness that she might found out and suspect that you're secretly spying on her.
"What happened to you?" Sana finds your tensed manner.
"N-nothing. I just... remembered something."
"Weirdo." She teases you. "So what's gotten into you choosing this place. Are you gonna push me there down the cliff to show me your true colors?"
You looked at her exhaustedly, no much in an energy to enlighten or defend yourself. "Say or think of anything suspicious about me, Sana but I wasn't even harming you even in my imaginations anymore." You didn't bother to look at her because all you'll see rather is an irritated, sassy woman whom you had a price to pay for.
"This is my favorite place to chill." You simply answered, leaning at the front of the car and posing your limbs as you supported yourself with your arms pressed on the car. Sana looked at your side-figure.
"I started finding this when me and my mom used to go here when I was young. She was the first one to notice how beautiful the sunset is to watch from here, and I did agree on her... and it turns out to become one of my favorite scenery." Sana just listened to your story as you continue to witness the sun hides from the clouds.
"My mother told me to stay with her longer here because for a moment, she found peace and serenity. She felt like there's nothing to worry about." You paused as you smiled proudly. "She felt like she wasn't going to be alone in this battle she's facing, because I was there by her side. Even though I... wasn't that too much vocal or expressive at what I've gone through in our family, but... my heart knows where I need to stay. Where I can surely find a better outcome for my life someday."
"That's why when the right thing happened one day, I started to listen and follow to my heart first. I kicked out all those delinquent students away from my company and I only remained my wonderful mom and dad... step-dad..." You corrected yourself, Sana shrank her eyes at that intentional pause. "Because it felt like it's the right thing to do, and it did. It helped me to get back up to my feet and reshape myself to become a proper man that my mom always wanted to see in me.
Sana, mind I if ask... am I progressing?"
Sana stares at you as you glanced at her with your glistening eyes full of hope. "I'm not gonna lie this time, but you sure are doing quite an effect on me..." Her voice is slowly decreasing through the words.
"But that won't still change anything about what you did to me before. People can say past is past easily but me? If it wasn't for that, which I don't know... should I say thank you atleast anyway... for motivating me to change my appearance? Lose a massive amount of weight, beautify myself more, get rid of those eyeglasses and braces just so that I can be accepted and liked by many for my features like what you said?" Sana said with a bit of a hatred rising through her again. You remain speechless as you understand why it's driving her mad.
"I achieved a better life too but unlike you, what I did I get? You put me into a trauma that I'm still bringing to myself till this day. Fear and anxious that...  makes me still remember it all."
"I like the passion, YN... but I will never going to forgive you for what you did to me. I will always hate you for that." Sana said it with all honesty. "And that's enough of a reason for me to have no interests on having our deal contract settled."
Heartbroken, you chose to ignore and hide as you have nothing more to do than to accepts her decision. After all, you were the one who already said that you can't force her to make amends with you.
"Understood."
The next week, Sana was about to go downstairs when she found a student sipping lollipop at the corner. The guy looks completely wasted, obviously breaking the proper uniform rules. She decided to ignore him as she continue to go through but insteas, the guy catcalled her before moving on its own, approaching Sana.
"Hi there, hot stuff." The guy said before taking off her lollipop with a slurp. "Where you going at?"
"A-at my class." Sana nervously said.
"Hmmm... okay. Nice and proper, I like it. Ladies like you are easy to be tamed, isn't it?" He smirked menacingly.
Sana stepped back and grabbed her sling bag. "E-excuse me? How dare you-"
"Ohhh, daring. Such a duality we got here huh, I wouldn't mind if you can do switch roles with me, however we can only apply that in the bed."
"Shut up, pervert!"
"Cmon, lady. It's that simply, feel free to take a shot on me, and you can be there to your classroom without a problem."
"And if I don't?!"
"Challenging and fightful, I like that."
"Then you're going to love me."
Sana and the delinquent both became surprised as you made your unexpected emergence from the stairs, hurrying down ss you pushed away the guy and had him bumping his back on the barred metal gate.
"This one's pestering you?" Sana only nodded.
"Ugh shit! Ah, look. It's the bastard of this goddamn student council!" The delinquent said while touching his upper back in pain.
"Choose your words more carefully. I can report you and have you be placed in a sanction that you'll regret."
"Go on, make me. As if I give a shit. This entire university is a complete bullshit anyway. The only reason it got me staying here everyday, is if wasn't for some sexy chicks like here roaming around-" The deliquent didn't had to speak disrespectfully and point at Sana longer as he ate a crunchy right punch from you straight to his face.
"You crazy bitch!"
The guy fights back at you, returning the punch you gave. It agitated you and led yourselves into a brawl that had the groans and growls echoing to the upper floor, catching student's attention. Sana panicked and tasked them to call a guard to seperate the two.
The guy got the advantage during the fight, he continues to give you a barrage of kicks to the waist before he pulled Sana closer to her and inappropriately traced her sides while he chuckles dangerously.
Sana felt disgusted and quickly slaps the guy. "What do you think you're doing, huh? Fucking slut!" He gave Sana a fast backhand slap that had her twirling and crashing next to the metal handles of the stairs.)+•~
You saw what he did, with anger fuming in you, you pulled his leg and sent him down on the ground before you tackled him andgave him multiple punches until the guards and the officials broke up the fight.
"THE TWO OF YOU, PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. NOW!"
As a result of the fight and from the decision made by the higher ups, the guy was kicked out of the campus for multiple delinquent offenses while you got suspended for your role as the president for a couple of months when they learned that you just did that for self-defense.
Sana was sitting on the bed with the nurse preparing the first aid until you showed up and requested the nurse instead to leave it all on your hands. She hesitated for a minute that you are also bruised but you bargained until she gave up and listened to you as a respect for being a student leader.
Sana in her surprise, watched you sit down and grab the first aid beside you. "W-what are you doing?"
"Treating you."
"Don't make me a baby, YN. The nurse can do it herself."
You just stared at her and Sana felt a bit intimidated. She decided to shut up and forcefully let you do your thing. "Good. Now come closer and lemme see your cheek."
She leaned forward and directed her aching cheek on you. "That idiot." You cursed as you search around the reddening spot. You weren't aware that it was mixed by Sana's blush now to have you staring very closer at her.
You started applying the ice pack around the hurting spot as Sana hissed before she swallowed in her throat and spoke. "T-thank you... for earlier."
"No problem. That's unusual, atleast I got a positive comment from you.
"I- I wasn't expecting you to come to rescue me, okay. And I didn't know how much I needed it."
The awkwardness between each other formed as none dared to speak afterwards when both got lost in their words. However, you started a topic that might break the silence and for Sana to understand more.
"I wasn't always like this."
"I know, you said it. It's just that there's something happened that I don't know-"
"It's my dad." You answered it. Sana looked at you. "I know you've been itching to ask me what exactly happened."
"I just don't want to because I felt like it's not my intention to know more and all I had to do is to understand you because it seemed too personal that I might sound forceful. But I do really wanted to know why." Sana replied. "So... step-dad?"
"No. My biological dad." You revealed. "My original father was abusive to my mom. I learned that he became like that when he started to fell addiction to gambling and other crazy stuffs that risks your money badly. He releases his frustration to my mom until she couldn't take it no more when she heard it loud and clear from my father that he despises her for me not turning out to be the one he's expecting. He always wanted a son/daughter but... nope. That's just all a part of his excuses that made my mom snapped and file a divorce  and report to my dad, and guess what. Her attorney became so interested in my mom and here he is, my mom and my dad broke up and him, who is now my step-dad, saved mom and I." You said as you applied care on her bruises.
Sana looked at you pitifully and for the first time, she frowned for you. "W-why are still helping me or... treating me good, even though I don't return it back at you?"
"Because... I got influenced. At first, I look up to my dad. I thought at first that he was tough, strong... I started becoming like him when him and my mom always gets to have a proble but then I realized that he was a true coward for proving all that by beating up my mom. And she was the one who is actually tough, because despite of all the suffering she took from my dad, she didn't hurt him back physically but that doesn't she has no plans to fight. Because if she does, then I wouldn't be in a better state if it wasn't for her.
So I changed. I took mom as my role model. I remained calm as much as I can. I did it all to reshape myself from the ghost of the past. Now here I am, rather choosing to prove myself and mean it all on my words on you. I don't want to fight anymore to cause trauma, Instead, I'll do in a need to protect the people who are close to me."
Sana tied all the strings together, and it did finally all comes to a clear point that it wasn't really your fault that you turned out to be that reckless bully that she had to go through a hard time before. She would be lying if she won't admit that she is a supporter of a belief that people can change, and it comes through this moment that she decided that she can use that phrase for good.
"There, all done." You said as you tucked all the hair to her ear and patted the bandage firmly on her face. Sana was just staring back at your tender and admirable demeanor. "Does it still h-"
"I forgive you."
"..."
You fell silent. That was very out of nowhere, but suddenly it got so uplifted to hear that successfully.
"Y-you do?"
"And we still have a week remaining ahead of us. We can use it to finally be able get along together."
You smiled widely as you saw how Sana's bright and cute grin shines right in your eyes. She looked so beautiful, and you even felt more guilty and poor for her on vanishing this irresistable kine of joy within her before.
"Yeah we can. T-thank you a lot, Sana."
Sana patted your hand to calm your happiness down. She smiled as she stared down at your hands stacked together. She took a grip on it and even felt the heat crawling through her skin, sending to her overflowing emotions in her heart.
It actually does look... fitting in her opinion. And she even agreed more to herself when she looked back up to see the owner of the hand she would actually love to hold more in many occasions.
That moment, Sana confirmed to herself that she has now began to discover a liking on you, who is also discreetly sharing the same serenade as her too.
Days after you and Sana tried to start this brand new closeness both of you has started for each other, its aftermath had left you ran out to became so overwhelmed about it, now that have reminded you of something that requires to be done more important before the expiration was reached.
You wanted to be happy because you have now made peace with Sana, but today wasn't the right time for you to celebrate fully.
Too much occupied on spending time for each other, that it almost made both forgot that you had to deal with a serious matter when the next day comes.
Your mood disrupted as you got conscious of the date today, not even Sana's bubbly personality can distract you from it or anything. You couldn't even join her as you remained watching her instead for some reason.
"You seem like you're in deep thoughts again, YN." Sana poked you with the tip of the ice cream she bought. "Are you okay?"
You didn't answer right away as it took time for you to snap back into your senses and found yourself being confronted by Sana.
"Y-yeah."
A lie. Sana detected that disturbing twitch of a forced smile on your lips.
"Really, what's going on? I know i've seen this last time on you getting blacked out of nowhere but this one feels different."
"How can you say?" You asked in a dead tone.
She shrugged and opened her ice cream first before she continued speaking. "That something's definitely bothering you. You're so stiff and uneasy. Does it makes you scared?"
"M-maybe it is..."
"Care to share what it is then?"
You were about to respond but Sana introduces you to her cold palm blocking your sight.
"But first, eat your ice cream. It's gonna melt, plus... it's my favorite flavor, okay? I don't want it getting wasted." She pouted adorably.
You chuckled and sighed as you opened your ice cream. "Delicious."
"Who? Me or the ice cream?"
"W-what?" You looked so baffled at her suspicious remark.
She laughed loudly at your embarassed expression. "I'm sorry- it's just... you keep on staring at me while you're licking it and commenting it for me. I thought you're teasing me so... I tried to get back on you."
"S-stupid, you and your pervy thoughts..." You rolled your eyes and blushed intensely at her own silliness. "And what if I say you?" you smirked a little and glared at her.
"Then I don't mind having you grab a taste as much as you like~" Her eyes didn't even had to glare back at you to look flirty and seductive, instead aura changed on its own as Sana ensures that the one who started this kind of fun won't end up getting defeated in the end.
You gulped and looked away from her enticing look as she wheezes. "Sorry, what's gotten over me. Anyways, let's go backto where we left. Oh yeah, what's making you scared?"
You had to compose yourself before replying to her. "Of us. Certainly... for you."
"Why?"
"I can't tell if this luck that I have of making myself had to witness this whole you being... just the way you are is only temporary for me to see, because I fear that... I might lose this... real you, again." You said.
"I appreciate the consideration YN but, risks are inevitable okay? It's fine to take it as long as it won't step or abuse my whole being again." Sana said. "I know you're scared but... face your fears. This is why you seek for another opportunity, right? To make things right."
"But would it be wrong for me if..."
"If...?" Sana waited for your next words to follow up.
Your heartbeat quickened, nerves trembling, emotions rising, as there's no going back once you have revealed this secret you have been keeping from her in weeks. "Would it be wrong for me if I don't just want you as a friend anymore? That I also began to admire you more than that?"
Sana's smile dropped. Her gaze went more focused on you as she couldn't believe what she's hearing. "Y-you like me?"
"I know it's ridiculous of me to say that to you, because I feel like I don't have the right to feel this way because I made you like this... forcefully with my wrongdoings. But, I don't know why my heart is being like this." You said to her.
"Maybe it's due to what I've said to you last time that I started to follow what my heart wants, and it pains because... I feel like this is what I may be missing after all these years when I rather ending up hurting you against my will. And now it makes me worry if I continue this feeling i'm having now that we have buried your hatred, I might lose this... bright side that depicts the real you, Sana. That I mercilessly thrown away when we first met.
I don't want to let it go but... I couldn't  get rid of this feeling in me, even after you told me you have declined our contract, I'm heartbroken but I still keep on loving you." You started tearing up. For the first time, Sana has fully visualized this fragile self of yours and it truly does hurt her deep inside.
"But I don't want you to pity me. I still respect your decision, but... for the last time... a last hope in me, I just want to ask... do you... still want to reconsider it?"
You looked at her with your poor eyes. Sana got her breath taken away by your weakened state. Her heart crumples in pain seeing you like this because you are heavily concerned of something that you don't even had to.
Because she likes you too, and you don't even know yet.
If your heart chooses her, her heart needed you more.
"I'm sorry..." is what came out as a whisper to Sana's shaking tone. Your heart shattered and there's your last hope disappeared like a popped bubble in the air. She was about to speak but you interrupted her.
"I see. I get it, no matter how much a person forgives you for your sin, there's always be time that would grant you the punishment for wasting that moment that you should've been good rather. A karma, in short. And this one, is what I have to bring and suffer for the rest of my life."  You said to her with a bitter smile. Sana was in awe at your guilty pronounce.
"I enjoyed our time but I think I have to go now, Sana. I'm sorry." You excused yourself to Sana as you emptied your ice cream and left her speechless on your spot with her. Her frozen consciousness has what costs her to respond late to unable to catch you as you walked away from her sight.
Sana was left in distraught, as the words she was about to say and the entirety of your confession sinked down to her.
March 31. The day of the proclaimation has come. The month is ending and that means the contract has reached its breaking point. You and Sana met again in the court along with your parents in each of your sides.
Both parties are worried and confused on why you and Sana seemed so dull and devastated that neither couldn't look at each other's eyes anymore. This is what you feared, and the regret is eating you up again so bad.
"Mr/Ms. LN, are you in favor of the contract to be published and hereby signed by you?"
"I do, your honor." You said. You wanted to give it up but you chose to fight for what you have desired more. You wanted to be with Sana longer, and even if it won't grant you the same opportunity, it doesn't matter. Atleast you have become honest to your heart that you would've love to have her as yours.
Sana's lips trembled as she tried to fight the tears about to pour down on her face but was unsuccessful that the judge had to halt the question. It breaks your heart more to see her in an emotional breakdown in front of you.
"Miss Minatozaki, are you okay?"
"I... I'm not..." She sniffed her nose and wiped her tears before proceeding. " I'm not in favor of the contract, your honor."
Your family and Sana's both were in shock and saddened. You weren't surprised, but you are surely devastated that she is really this a hundred percent certain of her decision.
"Are you sure with your answer, Miss Minatozaki? You look hesitant. Perhaps you can provide a clear explaination why you still responded the opposite?"
"I'm really not in favor of the contract, your honor." Sana shook her head. She wiped her tears again before she stepped forward and came closer to you.
"Because I don't want to have it done arranged."
Your eyes widened. The collective gasps of the both sides can be heard from the court.
"I'm rather hesitant because I want to be with you more, YN... but not through this. I want us to build the story of our relationship through our own. I want it that way, not this where others had to dictate and rush us how things should go for us." She apologetically looks back at yours and her family, and gladly they nodded understandably at her point.
She immediately pulls you into a hug so tight that you wouldn't even care also if you got suffocated into her endearing gesture of what finding your home should feel like. "I'm glad that you didn't let go, YN... because I love you too."
She sobbed into your shoulder and you gave up with your emotions as flood of tears fell down on your face, but this time it was all full of joy and relief. You reciprocated her action as you wrapped her body into your own embrace and cuddled her head on your side.
"Thank you... thank you for giving me a chance, Sana. I'll do everything I can not to ruin this. I love you.
She leans away fron your shoulder and holds your shoulders as she traces your face super close between each other. "I'm so proud of you, YN. You deserve it."
"And yes, I would be glad to be your girlfriend... and your future wife soon." She winked before she pulls your head next for a wholesome romantic kiss.
Your families and even the judge clapped and congratulated in support for your newfound stronger relationship with Sana since this is a sight to behold seeing two couples aren't destined to be torn apart from each other... but rather to stay together forever despite all the harsh and crucial situations they had gone through.
Love, in cooperation with time; always finds a way to connect two people's hearts no matter how long it might take, and this... is the way their story had to go.
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tiedyeflannels · 3 months ago
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Stay Where You Are
Kim Namjoon x f!reader
Chapter 1 | Masterlist
A/N: Hi and welcome to my new series!! I've been dying to start writing this, but I told myself that I needed to finish Adventure of a Lifetime first and now that it's done... Anyway, just like before, there won't be a set updating schedule, so I'll post whenever I'm done with a chapter. I hope you enjoy it!
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Beep… Beep… Beep…
You slowly start to open your eyes at the sound of beeping next to where you were laying. Looking around the dark room, you squint at the heart monitor as your blurry vision started to clear. Realizing where you are, you quickly sat up which made your head spin and a sharp pain run through your ribs. 
You instinctively grab your side as you cough and wince at the pain. While trying to remember what had gotten you to the hospital, an attending nurse opened the door and walked into the room for a routine check-up just to notice that you’re up.
Her eyes widen slightly in disbelief, “Oh, you’re up! How are you feeling?”
You furrowed your eyebrows as you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. The nurse gave a small smile.
“Don’t force yourself, sweetheart. You’ve been through a lot.”
You nodded as you watched her look at the monitor and write some things down on the clipboard before turning to you.
“We don’t want to overwhelm you since you just woke up, but do you remember anything from your accident?”
You racked your brain to see if you could recall anything that happened that would end you up in the hospital, but all there was were flashes of memories.
Closing your eyes to try and pinpoint what exactly happened, all you got was incoherent yelling, the sound of rain hitting the pavement, and a car horn with a bright flash before pain shot through your head, making you hold it with a pained groan.
“It’s okay,” she said softly, “I’ll call your emergency contacts to let them know you’re up. They should arrive shortly. Until then, get some rest.”
You nodded as you watched her walk out of the room and into the hallway before you laid back down and let out a sigh.
~
“Y/n! How are you feeling,” Ha-rin all but ran into the room and over to me.
She grabbed my hand and held it to her chest as she waited for me to answer. I cleared my throat before letting out a raspy, “Fine.”
She sighed a breath of relief, “You scared us. Everyone was so worried about you.” 
I gave her a sad smile, “I’m sorry I made you worry. I don’t think I had ‘end up in the hospital’ on my list last night.”
She furrowed her brows as she gave me confused look. “Y/n… your accident happened two weeks ago.”
Your eyes widened in shock.
Two weeks!? I’ve been unconscious for two weeks?
You slowly nodded at the realization of everything you must’ve missed while you were unknowingly in the hospital.
There was a knock on the door that pulled you from the impending downward spiral you were about to go down at the thought of what you had missed. Looking over to the door, the doctor walked in with a smile of his face.
“How are you feeling, Ms. Y/n?”
“I’m okay.”
He looked at some papers on his clipboard before looking back at you. 
“It looks like all of vitals are stable. You do seem to have some amnesia, but that’s pretty common when you suffer this kind of trauma. Other than that, your wounds seem to be healing fine so if you don’t have any concerns, you should be discharged soon.”
Sighing in relief, you nodded at the doctor’s words as he rounded the hospital bed to look at the monitor while you went back to talking with Ha-rin. 
The sound of faint, but hurried footsteps could be heard from the hallway as Namjoon ran up to the receptionist desk.
“Hi,” he said as he tried his best to catch his breath, “I’m here to see Y/n L/n.”
The secretary looked up and immediately recognized him from the amount of times he’s come through to visit you. 
She smiled, “Okay. I’ll just have you fill this out.”
She placed a clipboard and pen on top of the counter in from of him. He quickly took the pen and skimmed the paper he had filled out so many times. Once he was done, he slid it back to the receptionist before walking to your room with haste.
Passing by the other rooms, he took note of the names and numbers by the doors just in case they had moved you. Looking at the plaque by the familiar door, he read “Room 613, Y/n L/n”.
Peeking into the room, Namjoon felt relief wash over him as he saw that you were standing up and talking with the nurse.
Having his feet take him to you, he was overjoyed that you were seemingly okay.
“Y/n/n, I’m so glad that you’re alright, “ he said before pulling you into a warm and careful embrace.
Your eyes widened in slight surprise at the hug. Namjoon pulled away, but still made sure to keep his hands on you because he was afraid that something would happen if he let go.
“I was so scared that I had lost you. Are you okay,” he asked while eyeing you up and down, checking for anything that the doctors might have missed, but everything seemed to be taken care of.
You smiled.
“I’m alright. Thank you for your concern…” you drawed out as your smile slowly faded into a slightly confused expression.
“I’m sorry, but… do I know you?”
Taglist:
@maple-leaves-in-the-wind
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helloalycia · 10 months ago
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𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] — 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑
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summary: when Jackie surprises you with a kiss, you're excited at the possibility of what it could mean, only to discover she's got back together with her boyfriend the next day.
warning/s: implied internalised homophobia i suppose?
author's note: and here’s the third and final part - i hope you liked this one, loved writing for jackie 🥰 i have amother jackie one done and another in the works bc apparently i was super inspired recently lol, and i’ve also got some other stuff in progress. But the next thing I post is gonna be an alycia debnam carey imagine (gotta stick to my roots haha)
one / two / masterlist / wattpad
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I groaned inwardly as I looked all around the darkroom, my locker and my school bag for my lens cap, but I just couldn't seem to find it. That's when I wondered if it could be in the bleachers on the soccer pitch – maybe it fell out of my pocket when I was shooting recently.
Like the lazy girl I was, I went outside with tunnel vision, immediately searching the bleachers for my lens cap, but I still couldn't find it. As I paused, looking up for a moment to think, I realised someone was on the pitch, and upon closer inspection at the waving figure, I realised it was Jackie. Huh.
When I climbed down from the bleachers, she jogged over to me with a confused expression, but smiling nonetheless.
"What are you doing here?" she asked breathlessly, a little sweaty from practice, and it was annoying because she still managed to look good.
"I lost my lens cap for my camera," I said with a sigh. "The last place I remember having it is here."
Her fingers played with her bottom lip as she glanced around. "Oh. That's annoying. Erm..."
"It's fine," I said, not wanting her to worry herself over it when it was my problem. "I'm just having a look around, but I don't think it's here. Might pick up a new one from the camera store. Anyway, what are you doing out here? Where's the team?"
At this, she rested her hands on her hips. "No practice on today, but I wanted to have some me time. Thought I'd put in some extra practice. I've finished now anyway."
I quirked a brow. "Isn't Shauna usually your lift? How you getting home?"
"Shauna is helping her parents with something," she said, before flashing me her signature smirk. "I was planning to flirt with some sophomores and get a ride."
I laughed, shaking my head. "Of course you were."
She winked playfully and, though I didn't doubt she could find some desperate sophomore to give her a ride, I couldn't just let her do that. Besides, it seemed she was getting lifts off me a lot lately, so what was one more to add to the list?
"I'm done in the dark room if you need a ride," I offered.
"Oh, I wasn't hinting at anything," she said, giving me a genuine smile, but I shook my head.
"I know, but still. I don't mind."
Appreciative, she nodded. "Thanks. Do I have time to shower?"
"You have all the time in world, darling," I said as I looked around. "I am still yet to find my lens cap."
She stifled a chuckle. "Good luck with that. I'll go clean up. Meet you at your car?"
I hummed in agreement, already mentally retracing my steps with my camera, and she left me to it. After spending half an hour more searching all around for my lens cap, I finally gave up and went to sulk in my car. It wasn't actually a big deal, especially because I could just buy a new one after dropping Jackie off, but it was the inconvenience of it all.
Not long after I got in my car, Jackie joined me, tossing her backpack in the backseat before sliding into the passenger's seat. Looking refreshed, she shot me a smile.
"So, where to?" she asked, pulling her seatbelt on.
"Your house?" I replied, thinking it was obvious.
"But I thought you wanted to get your lens cap from the store," she said with confusion. "Oh, wait, did you find it?"
As I started the car, I said, "I didn't, but it's fine. I can drop you off home."
"I don't mind going," she said, leaning her elbow on the door. "It's on the way anyway."
"You sure?"
She hummed in agreement, so I drove us straight to the camera store, knowing I wouldn't be long. Luckily, it was still open for the day, and when we headed inside, she immediately began to wander around the small store, intrigued by the cameras on display.
I began to talk to the shopkeeper about my lens size and what camera I had, hoping he had a replacement cap I could buy, and then he left to have a look in the back.
"Y/N, there's a photo booth!" Jackie suddenly called as I was waiting for the shopkeeper to return.
"Yep," I acknowledged, having seen it a million times so not sure what the hype was.
"We have to use it, c'mon!" she pleaded, already grabbing my hand.
I rolled my eyes, having gotten used to Jackie so much that I knew to just go with the flow at this point. She was grinning as she looked at the button and money slot.
"It's fifty cents," she realised, before elbowing me in the gut as she rushed to find some coins in her pocket. Eventually she pulled out a quarter and looked at me. "You got another quarter?"
"I guess? I don't–"
"Look!" she encouraged, and I grumbled to myself as I dug around in my own pocket, managing to pull out a quarter. Before I could even offer it her, she grabbed it from my hand and put both of them in the machine.
After fiddling around, a manual timer ticked to signal the first photo was going to be taken, so Jackie moved closer to me to fit in the lens.
"Smile!" she said, and I had no choice but to listen.
The photo was taken and, just as quickly, the next timer was going off.
"Funny face!" she instructed immediately, before pulling one of her own.
I rushed to stick out my tongue, managing to do bunny ears behind her head without realising, and then the final timer was ticking.
"Okay, a kiss on the cheek for the grand finale," she said with amusement, and because we'd been so rushed up until now, I didn't really think to question who was kissing who.
As the last tick went off before the photo, I turned to kiss her cheek, but she must have done the same, because for a brief moment, our lips touched and then the photo was taken. Embarrassed, I quickly pulled away, as did she.
"Sorry," we both blurted at the same time, and suddenly this photo booth felt too small.
"Y/N?" the shopkeeper called, and I was grateful for the interruption as I stepped out the photo booth and saw he was back at the counter. "Got your lens cap. This should fit like a glove."
I swallowed thickly as I approached the counter, acutely aware of Jackie stood behind me, looking as awkward as I felt. After paying the shopkeeper, the two of us left and returned to the car.
"Er, did you want the photos or–" Jackie started to ask when we got in the car, holding the strip that the machine gave her.
"It's okay, you really wanted them," I said quickly, before distracting myself with starting the car.
To say the car ride home was awkward was an understatement, even with the radio filling the silence. I wasn't sure why, since we both knew the poor attempt of a kiss was an accident, but my fear was that I'd made her feel uncomfortable. It was the last thing I'd wanted, but I couldn't bring myself to speak, and neither could she.
I barely got chance to put my parking brake on when she got out the car and avoided my eyes.
"Thanks for the ride," she muttered, before walking up the long path to her mansion of a home.
I would have left it there, but it felt wrong to, and then I noticed she'd left her backpack in the backseat, so I called her from the open window and grabbed the bag. Jumping out the car, I jogged to meet her halfway, glad she'd stopped.
"You forgot your bag," I said, holding it out to her, and she accepted it, expressionless but staring holes into my face.
Knowing I couldn't leave it like this, I started, "Jackie, what's–"
But she cut me off instantly – and to my surprise – with a kiss. I stumbled back as she grabbed my face, kissing me with such intensity that it took me a second to realise that Jackie fucking Taylor was kissing me. And she was really good at it.
I closed my eyes, reciprocating the kiss, breathing in every part of her floral perfume, tasting every bit of her strawberry lipgloss. There was a second where we paused to take in a breath, but she closed it just as quickly, desperate and sudden and surprising.
Finally she pulled back, and then as if realising what she'd done, her hands let go of my face and she avoided eye contact like I'd make her go blind.
"Thanks," she said awkwardly, before spinning around and speed walking to her front door.
"Wait, Jackie–!"
But she fumbled for her keys and was already at her front door, not bothering to turn around. I swallowed hard, my lips still tingling from the sensation of hers, and went back to my car. Did that really just happen?
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All night I was thinking about it, replaying the afternoon in my mind. She'd made me question a lot about my feelings for her in the past, and at one point, I was certain I was just projecting onto her – maybe that flirting was just who she was? But no, it had to be real, because she'd just made out with me on her own accord, and I liked it. I'd liked her, sure, but she'd always been unattainable to me for obvious reasons.
Well, until now.
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The next day at school, I was hoping I could talk to Jackie about everything properly, maybe get some clarification on what she was thinking. So, you can imagine my surprise when I walked past her in the hall and saw her standing with Jeff, her supposed-to-be ex-boyfriend, leaning on his shoulder as he had an arm wrapped around her.
As soon as I saw them together, my heart dropped, the surprise easily replaced by humiliation. God, how could I have ever thought Jackie Taylor and I could be a thing? Was I stupid?
Turning to walk a different way, I fought back the urge to cry, feeling used and stupid and like an absolute fool for thinking yesterday was anything special.
"Hey, Y/N, wait," Jackie suddenly called, and then she stopped before me with apologetic eyes. "I didn't–"
"So you're back with Jeff, huh?" I got straight to the point, glaring at her.
She avoided my eyes and nodded weakly.
I scoffed, feeling much better hiding behind my anger than my sadness. "Why did you even do it, Jackie? Why d'you kiss me?"
She frowned. "I don't know."
The longer she avoided my stare, the more upset I became. How dare she do all of this, make me fall for her, force herself into my life, only to throw it back in my face.
"Just wanted to test it out?" I muttered bitterly. "Kissing a girl?"
She winced. "No, it wasn't like that."
"Then what?" I asked, searching her expression for a clue, but she refused to answer, either not having the words or not wanting to upset me anymore. Too late for that. "You should figure your shit out," I said harshly. "And don't speak to me again."
Finally, she looked up, but I was already leaving, ignoring when she called my name. I should've known she'd go back to him, she always did.
Fuck Jackie Taylor.
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It was impossible to avoid her and Jeff over the next few days, since they were in a lot of my classes and always on the way to my locker, but I tried my darn best to.
Unfortunately for me, I was out grocery shopping with my mum when I spotted a familiar blonde head of hair further down the aisle from us, standing with her best friend. I was hoping if we stayed put long enough, they'd just keep going and we wouldn't bump into them, but my mum, who was oblivious to our falling out, spotted Jackie instantly.
"Oh, Y/N, your friend is here," she pointed out, and before I could tell her to keep it down, she started to call out Jackie's name, earning her attention.
"Mum, no!" I whisper-shouted, but it was too late because Jackie and Shauna were already approaching us.
I considered walking away, finding somewhere else to busy myself, but my mum would have just found a reason to make it a big deal, so I stayed put and kept quiet.
"Hey, Y/M/N," Jackie greeted my mum in her usual chirpy voice, before I felt her looking at me. "Hey, Y/N."
I ignored her, suddenly interested by the handlebar of the trolley.
"Jackie, it's so great to see you again," my mum said, genuinely happy to chat with her, since the soccer player had made quite the impression on her. "And your friend, it's Shauna, right?"
"It is, it's great to meet you," Shauna greeted her kindly before shooting me a smile. "Hey, Y/N."
"Hey," I mumbled, giving her a quick smile before looking at the bananas on display.
"You know, it's a good thing I bumped into you," my mum said to them, particularly Jackie. "I wanted to thank you again for your help at the fundraiser! We raised over five thousand dollars!"
"That's amazing," Jackie said with disbelief. "I didn't know."
At this, my mum glanced at me questioningly. "Didn't you tell her, hon?"
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Must've forgotten."
"Oh, Y/N," my mum scolded lightheartedly as Jackie looked away uncomfortably.
She continued to talk the girls' ears off before finally realising she was holding everyone up and saying her goodbyes. Taking the trolley from me, she began to push it forward and I was about to follow, but Jackie suddenly grabbed my arm.
"Y/N–"
I pulled my arm from her grasp, not bothering to meet her gaze. "Don't you have a soccer game to practice for or something?"
She didn't reply, and I rejoined my mum's side, remaining quiet for the rest of the trip. Why couldn't Jackie just leave me alone?
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I was making notes in my English workbook as the teacher continued to explain the variations and development of children's language AKA the topic of our next assignment.
"...and I think that, just like children, students like Jackie Taylor can't seem to focus when they're supposed to be," Mr. Collins suddenly said, pulling me from my focus. "Miss Taylor, is there something particularly fascinating about the back of Miss Y/L/N's head?"
A few students giggled to themselves as I flushed with embarrassment, too afraid to turn around to see what he was talking about, though it was pretty self explanatory.
Jackie cleared her throat, embarrassed. "Of course not, sir. Sorry. Continue."
"Thank you," he said sarcastically, before continuing to read through his presentation, but my face was still flaming and I was unable to focus for the rest of class now, aware of the hazel eyes staring a hole in my back.
God, she was seriously not helping with this whole getting over her thing.
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About a week after the whole Jackie thing, I unfortunately couldn't seem to avoid her forever as I had to take photos at the Yellowjackets' away game. I told myself I'd just do my job and be gone to avoid any awkwardness, but of course, that couldn't happen.
The game happened to be at East Rutherford High which wasn't a big deal, but as I was setting up my camera on the side of the pitch before the game, Olivia found me.
"Y/N, hey!" she called, and I turned around before remembering she went here.
"Liv, hey," I said with a smile, before hugging her. "I totally forgot you go here. Big soccer fan?"
She chuckled. "Not really. But my friends are so I said I'd come watch. Don't know why we bother though, the Yellowjackets always kick our arses."
I tried not to laugh because it was true. "Way to support your team."
"As a school, we've kind of accepted our defeat," she joked, before nodding to my camera. "You're taking photos for the paper, right?"
I nodded, letting my camera hang from my neck. "That's right."
"Your photos are always so good," she complimented, and I was surprised she'd seen them, so she clarified, "Sometimes our school paper look at examples of nearby schools and whenever they show us yours, I always see your photographs."
I smiled with embarrassment, though touched that she'd noticed. "Thanks, Liv, that means a lot."
She shrugged. "Just stating the truth." She paused, glancing out at the pitch as the players started to file out. "Surprised your friend, Jackie, isn't here. Didn't think she'd like me talking to you."
At this, I grew embarrassed for a different reason. "Yeah, look, I'm sorry if she was standoffish with you last time. I didn't–"
"I'm teasing," she assured me, trying not to laugh. "But it's all good. I should go find my seat anyway."
I sighed, nodding, and she smiled sweetly at me before leaving. Rubbing my face, I tried to push any thoughts of the soccer captain out of my head, hating that she was still being mentioned even when she wasn't here.
Instead, I focused my efforts on photographing the game, actually quite enjoying that it was an evening match so the lowlight gave me something to practice with. During half time, Olivia stopped by again and I welcomed it, enjoying getting to know her a little more. She was actually really chill to hang out with, but Jackie's words were still in my head about her 'textbook flirting'. Either way, Olivia was fun.
It was a given that the Yellowjackets would win, and after the game ended and I snapped some celebratory pictures, I moved to the side of the pitch to pack up my things. Olivia approached me again and I smiled.
"Great game, huh?" she said with amusement.
"Always is when the Yellowjackets play," I said playfully, and she raised her brows with mock disbelief.
"Wow, you're already starting the soccer war? That's low, Y/N," she said, making me laugh.
"Gotta support the home team," I said with a shrug. "Especially when they're that good."
She rolled her eyes, suppressing her smile. "Yeah, yeah..." As I shouldered my camera bag, she asked, "You heading off now?"
"That's the plan," I said with a tired sigh. "Why? Aren't you?"
She locked eyes with me, smiling softly. "I was going to ask if you're free to hang right now. Could grab some food or something?"
"Oh," I said, realising she was asking me out. "I– erm–"
It sounded fun, and why couldn't I enjoy a dinner with a cute girl? Smile forming on my lips, I was about to agree, but then the devil's spawn herself decided to appear.
"There you are," Jackie said, looking to me, either oblivious to my annoyance or choosing to ignore it.
"Didn't take long," Olivia mumbled to herself, but I heard it. Clearing her throat, she said to me, "I'm gonna guess you're busy tonight?"
"Oh, there's an after game party," Jackie answered for me, making me clench my jaw. "Kind of a tradition."
Olivia forced a smile. "Right."
"I never go anyway," I said quickly, earning her attention, and receiving a glare from Jackie who I so desperately wished would leave. "I can–"
"The others are asking if you'll go tonight actually," Jackie interrupted, flashing a sickly sweet smile at me.
If looks could kill, she'd be toast right now. Who the hell did she think she was to step in right now? She'd shown me how she felt – she didn't have a right to do this.
"Never mind," Olivia said, already backing up. "Enjoy."
Losing my glare, I looked to Olivia, ready to apologise, but she'd already walked off to join her friends and I knew I'd only make it worse.
"Huh, I was right," Jackie mumbled to herself, which reminded me she was still standing there and very much the reason Olivia hated me now.
"What the hell d'you do that for?!" I shouted at her.
She raised her brows, feigning confusion. "Do what?"
I clenched my fists with frustration. "No! You don't just get to do that!"
She shook her head. "What?"
I scowled, looking between her eyes with annoyance. "Care. You led me on. Used me as– I don't even know what! Some sort of rebound? An experiment? Either way, it was horrible, and now you don't get to just come in and stop me from accepting dates. You're nothing to me, Jackie."
As I spoke, she began to frown, only serving to piss me off further. How could she act like the victim right now? I was the one who'd been played!
"I didn't use you," she said weakly, but I could only step back and fix her with a glare.
"Leave me alone," I warned her once more, not bothering to stay behind to see what she'd say.
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The weekend passed and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking of Jackie the whole time. I wished I'd never found her crying after her breakup with Jeff because then I wouldn't have felt the need to check on her and she wouldn't have felt the need to be my friend. My life was a whole lot easier when she wasn't in it, and yet I still couldn't stop thinking of her. She was bad for me, so why did I still care about her?
I hadn't seen her since the game on Friday night, and despite the fact that she'd literally humiliated me, I still felt guilty for shouting at her. I wasn't someone who got angry easily, but truthfully, it wasn't anger. My heart hurt and who else to take it out on than the girl who broke it?
It was foolish of me to even feel that way, since we weren't anything. She'd never said she cared about me as more than a friend, she hadn't really done anything out of the ordinary except kiss me, which had clearly been a mistake. Her flirtatious behaviour was just typical Jackie. I knew what I was getting myself into. I guess this whole thing was my fault in a way.
Trying to take my mind off it, I stayed back after school to start putting my end of year portfolio together for photography class. I was grateful that nobody else was here, needing the quiet to simply get lost in my school work and nothing else.
I was considering some photographs on the desk when the sound of the door opening startled me. Nobody was supposed to be here, but when I turned around, my surprise faded into irritation at the sight of Jackie.
"Okay, seriously, do you need me to sing it you?" I asked with disbelief. "Write it down? Get a fucking sky writer?! Leave me alone, Jackie!"
"Wait," she said quickly, closing the door behind her and letting herself in, making me groan. "Please, I just– I have something to say."
I rolled my eyes, looking back to my photos with hopes she'd get the hint. "What? You finally figure your shit out?"
It was sarcastic, so I definitely didn't expect her to say, "Yeah. I broke up with Jeff."
My brows knitted together with confusion when I looked to her again. "You what?"
She licked her lips, grateful for the relief in tension. "After the game on Friday. I ended it."
I was certainly shocked to hear that she'd done that, but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction. Crossing my arms, I tried to appear indifferent. "So what?"
She exhaled softly, steadily approaching me until she was stood right in front of me. Her hazel eyes, looking brown as they met mine, held my gaze with determination.
"You weren't an experiment," she said guiltily. "You weren't a rebound either. I never meant to hurt you, Y/N."
I frowned, eyes flickering between hers. Both my frustration and distress were building up because she seemed to be telling the truth, and it wasn't fair. She still did it. She broke my heart.
"Then what?" I asked, hands trembling. "How else can it seem when you–" I paused, glancing at the classroom door which was closed. Still, I lowered my voice for her sake. "When you kissed me – which, by the way, you initiated – then, before I can even discuss it with you, you get back together with your boyfriend? How?!"
She frowned, shaking her head as she looked down to her hands. "It was horrible, I know. You have to know how much I regret it."
"Gee, thanks," I said bitterly, and she was quick to look up again, worried.
"Wait, no, that's not what I meant," she explained. "I regret getting back together with Jeff, not kissing you. I– I liked that a lot." She was unusually nervous, swallowing visibly. "I like you."
My heart was confused as I studied her expression, seeing nothing but honesty.
"I should've said something," she admitted. "I didn't know that I'd fall for you, Y/N. I've never even liked a girl. Especially not one who's so sure of herself."
I scoffed, meeting her confused look with a knowing one. "Seriously? You're Jackie fucking Taylor, the most confident girl in school."
"Not always," she said with a wince. "Clearly."
I watched her, struggling to accept what she was saying.
"I understand if you hate me," she said, straightening up and meeting my gaze with a solemn one. "And I'll truly leave you alone, as you wish. Just say the word."
I pressed my lips together, seeing the serious expression on her face. I couldn't just say the word, because no matter how hard I'd tried to hate her, I just couldn't. All I'd really wanted was for her to like me, too.
She stood patiently, probably would have stood there for the rest of the day, waiting for me to speak. And I hated it because she'd hurt me deeply, but now I understood why. And even after everything, I still wanted her.
"Y/N?"
For once, I stopped overthinking and just kissed her, eyes closing when my lips met hers. She breathed out and lifted her hand to rest on my neck, pulling me closer and sending shivers down my spine at the contact. It was desperate, I was aware, but I couldn't get enough of her taste, her floral scent reminding me of last time, the adrenaline rush.
Without meaning to, her back hit her the desk behind her, but other than a brief readjustment, we continued to make out, my head spinning with thoughts of how good she felt so close to me. Stupid pretty girls and their stupid pretty faces.
We pulled apart for air, but I didn't let go of her just yet. My heart was thumping in my chest as I caught my breath, lips tingling as they craved for hers yet again.
"I really like you too," I said without thinking, eyes flickering to hers. "That's why it stung when you did what you did. Why I was so angry."
She nodded slowly in understanding. "I'm sorry."
I sighed, closing my eyes as I tried to collect my thoughts, but it was pretty damn difficult when she was still invading every sense of mine and I welcomed it.
"I don't know how I can trust you," I admitted, opening my eyes and being met with her determined expression.
"You can," she promised.
"What if you decide you don't want this anymore?" I asked, not wanting to doubt her feelings, but not prepared to start something that could end in heartbreak. "What if you think you've made a mistake? Start to miss Jeff? Then what, Jackie?"
"That won't happen," she said with certainty, thumb stroking my cheek.
"But it could."
She frowned, eyes boring into mine as if trying to make me understand. Finally, she said, "I'll spend forever proving you wrong."
I got lost in her eyes, so full of conviction that I had no choice but to believe her. Maybe some things were worth the risk. She certainly was.
"I'd love to see that," I said after a moment, an attempt at a joke.
She paused, trying to digest my words, and then she cracked a small smile.
"I forgive you," I told her. "I know how hard it can be to admit your feelings to yourself, especially for the first time."
She was hopeful, and I was suddenly overcome with an excitement because Jackie Taylor was stood in my arms, telling me she liked me, and I wasn't dreaming.
"Can I kiss you?" she asked, making me smile.
A simple nod and then she captured my bottom lip between hers, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter a storm. Unlike before, this kiss was slower than the others, more considerate, and I knew then and there that I'd never get sick of her lips.
She pulled away after leaving me breathless, her eyes half lidded when they looked from my lips to my eyes. "How was that for proving you wrong?"
I let out a breathy chuckle, admittedly a little flustered. "It's a start."
A smug smile appeared on her lips and then she was kissing me again, laughing as she did.
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Lil bonus scene:
This was the least peppiest pep rally I'd ever been to, producing the worst photos I could take because everybody looked bored. As the principal made a speech about how 'good' the baseball team were doing this year, I snapped a few photos but ultimately sat bored in the front row. Everybody was much more excited for the star of the show – the Yellowjackets.
And after what felt like forever, the school band began to play their instruments and the soccer team began making their way in. Like a switch had been flipped, all the students in the bleachers stood up, cheering and applauding and celebrating their favourite sports team.
A much better subject, I began to photograph the crowd, all dressed in the bright yellow and blue school colours, waving signs and beaming with painted faces. And then my focus shifted to the team themselves, who were lining up before the crowd, grins on their faces. Despite the principal trying to calm everyone down so he could make his speech about how great they were doing, nobody would listen, still cheering on the team.
As I was snapping photos of them all, Jackie caught my eye and a playful smirk was on her lips when she winked at me. Even after the month we'd been together so far, she still left me nervous sometimes, thought I'd accepted that was what came with dating someone as self-assured as Jackie Taylor. We hadn't broadcasted our relationship by any means, but students at school weren't stupid and they were beginning to put it together. I didn't mind though, and I hoped she didn't either.
Finally, the principal managed to quieten everyone down long enough to make a speech worth listening to, expressing his pride in the Yellowjackets and wishing them luck as they prepared for the game tomorrow which would determine whether they'd make it to nationals.
After he finished, the band played them out, along with the audience's cheering, and then everybody began to leave. I was one of the last few to go, making my way out of the sports hall, only to be pulled to the side suddenly, realising Jackie had been waiting for me.
"Someone took their time," she said impatiently, crossing her arms, now wearing her varsity jacket over her soccer uniform.
"Someone was doing their job," I reminded her with a smile, wiggling my camera in the air.
At this, she quirked a brow. "You got my good side, right?"
I laughed. "Jackie Taylor doesn't have a bad side. She knows it too."
She began to smile, flicking her hair in agreement, and I rolled my eyes playfully.
"You look cute with your face paint on," I told her, referring to the little yellow jacket painted on her cheek.
"It's called school pride," she said, before giving me a disapproving look. "You didn't dress up."
"Again, I was busy photographing everything," I said, raising my camera for emphasis.
"Well, we can't have that," she said, tutting, and then she pulled off her varsity jacket and attempted to wrap it around me, but I stopped her.
"Wait," I said, realising what she was doing.
"What?"
I stared at her knowingly. "It's your jacket."
"Duh."
"Yeah," I agreed in a matter-of-fact tone, "but–"
"I'm giving it to you," she said simply, confused when I wouldn't put my arms in it as she held it open.
"You can't," I said, wondering if she was playing dumb or what.
She furrowed her brows. "What? Why?"
I amended my comment, "I mean, yeah, you can, but you know that people will put two and two together, right? You give me that and it'll be, like, an actual confirmation to everyone that we're dating."
Still, she wasn't following as she stared with raised brows. "Okay? And...?"
Now it was my turn to be confused. "You don't mind?"
Finally catching on to why I was questioning her, she relaxed and lowered the jacket momentarily. "That's sweet of you to ask, but no, I don't mind." She paused, before glancing at me worriedly. "Wait, do you?"
I sighed, before an amused smile formed on my lips. "No, I don't. I just didn't want you to feel like you had to."
Her expression softened, smile appearing on her lips and matching the sparkle in her eyes. "I want to. Now, come here."
This time, I let her help me into her jacket, immediately engulfed in her scent and warmth and not minding in the slightest. She stepped back, admiring her handiwork, eyes looking me up and down for several seconds too long and leaving me with a warm face.
"I should've given you this sooner," she said, impressed, and I rolled my eyes at her pride.
She chuckled before pulling me in for a quick kiss, and then we walked hand in hand down the hallway.
"You know that this means you have to be my number one fan now, right?" she asked, giving me a sideways glance.
I tried not to laugh as I said, "But I already supported the team–"
"No, not the team's fan," she cut me off nonchalantly, "mine. Me. Player number nine."
At her dead serious expression, I began to chuckle quietly. "Nine. My new favourite number, darling."
A smile crept on her lips. "Good."
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urf1lterr · 1 year ago
Text
afterglow | pedro pascal [2/3]
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"tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine, even when i lose my mind"
previous chapter: [1]
summary: being nominated for an oscar was a dream come true, until you had to spend the rest of the night near your deceitful ex who still loved you.
pairing: actor!pedro x actress!reader
genre: acting world!au, enemies/exes to lovers ?? au | angst, fluff, fighting, mature
word count: 15k
status: 2/3 complete
author's note: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT LOVES. even though its gonna be three parts lol i still want you to want more. i've been confused on my writing because tbh- i feel like i could do better and keep rushing with these storylines and end up regretting them AFTER they are posted lol. not edited- it really isn't.
"Let's cut the chit-chat and get some real answers, why did y'all breakup?"
"Andrew!"
"Three days have passed, she's fine now," he defended, shrugging as Florence shot him an irritated look by his prying behavior.
It has indeed been a few days since the terrible night that consisted in you meeting your favorite artist, crying beside her, running awkwardly away right after, having a screaming match with your ex, and then passing out in the car.
So, you couldn't deny it wasn't a memorable night.
The past three days could've been better to say the least if your management team stopped spamming you with text messages concerning the fight, maybe even ignoring the loads of pictures of your crying face.
Oh, the pictures. Not a fun sight to see.
Luckily for you, the pictures were only ones inside the party near Andrew- not Pedro. Unfortunately, though, your picture was turned into a 'crying in the club' meme.
You couldn't exactly be mad over it, you loved memes.
Thank the Lords the paparazzi were clueless and never ended up catching your argument with Pedro or you wouldn't know how to cover it up.
You could never get away with the typical 'friends fighting' after he shouted how much he loved you.
And bless the celebrities near you for minding their business.
To clear up your meltdown, you took it upon yourself to send out a quick tweet the next morning with a "i'm sorry i'm an emotional drunk. one second we're talking about 500 days of summer and then...well you already know how THAT ends."
In that moment you couldn't care less if people believed you or not, this was going to pass fast anyway.
Now here you were, sitting in front of your kitchen bar as Andrew and Florence decided to pay you a visit because they missed you- or so they say.
Realistically, they wanted to see if you were still a hot mess.
Which you weren't, obviously.
Shailene would have tagged along, but she was busy doing grown up things, such as working on her latest project Andrew claimed which was a slight bummer. She was the mediator, now who else was going to stop the arguments calmly between your two friends.
Florence disagreed, shaking her head. "You can't just ask her that, it's impolite."
Sighing, Andrew sent you an apologetic glance. "Okay, I am sorry." Not taking his eyes off you, you could feel his curiosity and eagerness from the other side of the kitchen. "But we're all thinking it."
Judging by how unresponsive Florence became, you could tell she wasn't going to fight him on this. And well, she was secretly on his side because your fight with Pedro was seriously excessive.
She just wanted to know what he could've done to make you so angry, it didn't make sense to her if he did cheat. He didn't seem like the type, but some people do the most surprising things- so she couldn't really tell.
"Do you want the last reason or all of them?"
Widening his eyes, Andrew shares a glance with Florence for a swift second before finding your eyes. "Last reason?"
"The last fight we had that led us to finalize our breakup."
"Finalize," he giggled, leaning on the marble counter. "This isn't a divorce process."
"For a person who is so concerned about my relationship crisis, you seem to be catch on to the most irrelevant stuff."
"So you admit you still want to be with him," Andrew declared, giving a smug look as you tried to process his words. "If you're still stressing over him, it means you don't want to let him go."
"I never said I was stressing over hi-"
"Did she or did she not just claim she was undergoing a crisis-," Andrew interrupted, slightly raising his voice. "-a relationship crisis, to be exact."
Florence sheepishly looked your way, capturing your stern expression before slowly nodding.
Your male friend clapped his hands loudly before bursting out a wider grin, happy someone had his back. "There we have it, if he's on your mind that much to turn into a crisis- you still love him!"
Furrowing your brows, you didn't know how to respond. It was true, you had many moments where Pedro agitated you even when you haven't been near him for quite some time.
But isn't being wound up over an ex part of healing?
Truth be told, you knew your feelings for Pedro hadn't completely disappeared, but love? You weren't even sure love existed by your past experiences.
"I do not love him," you hiss, vigorously snatching the water bottle on the counter and aggressively opening it. "How can love be real? It's baffling."
"Questioning the real question with a question," he sneers, making Florence and you become confused as ever. "You're so in love him."
Florence cuts in, squinting her face in puzzlement. "Wait- what's the real question she's supposedly questioning with a question?"
"Love!" he cheers happily before placing his hand on his palm, dreamingly gazing at you. "You have your doubts on what love may be, but without knowing it you're having them because you're questioning your love to Pedro since you're too scared to admit you still love him."
"I don't get it."
Rolling your eyes, you swiftly turn away and head towards your living room to lay on your couch. You were not in the mood to have someone else tell you what your feelings were when they weren't you. "I'm done with this conversation."
Hearing a low slapping noise, following an irritated hiss, you could make out Florence's displeased voice. "See what you did! Now she's not going to tell us."
"So much for moral support, you really are nosy," Andrew fought back, whispering loudly.
A minute or two went by since you couldn't make out what they were saying before rushed footsteps soon made their way near you as your friends awkwardly smiled, hoping they didn't upset you too much.
Because they really wanted to know the drama.
Pushing him roughly from behind, Florence sent you an innocent smile as Andrew landed near your side of the couch, trying his best to hold his composure and not turn back around and start another fight.
Placing a light hand on your shoulder, you blankly glance at it before meeting his attention. "We just wanted you to know we totally understand if you aren't comfortable...expressing your past-"
"Get your hand off me and let's get this over with so you two can leave already."
Florence quickly sat right beside Andrew, both not offended with your statement because they were fully aware of how annoying the were becoming.
Before you could say anything, Florence quickly spoke aloud. "Start from the beginning!" Andrew slowly looking back to her, he sent her a confused look. "So we aren't lost, of course."
Laughing lightly, you nod before adjusting yourself on your seat. It was going to be hard to remember all the details clearly because there really wasn't an exact time issues occurred, it kind of just naturally appeared here and there.
Now that you think of it, majority of the tiny disputes during the earlier days of your relationship were probably on the same level as when you two were splitting, but maybe the dense ones created towards the end really made it hard to continue.
"If I'm being totally honest, we never really had problems when we first started dating. He was really great," you begin, clutching onto a pillow you found right beside you. "And he would always make sure to watch me make it inside my house before leaving, that was when I knew he wasn't some fling."
Andrew smirked, nodding proudly. "Classic move."
Smiling at the thought, you focused your mind to uncover the ugly truths that slowly tore you two apart.
"But then one day, I wanna say a few weeks after our second anniversary, we just started...fighting?"
Tilting your head, you look down as sad memories began pouring through your mind completely. "It wasn't our usual small fights over who left the bathroom floor wet or dropping his ipad in the pool-"
"-you dropped his ipad in the pool?" Florence coughed, bewildered by your scandalous actions.
"He wanted to know if it was waterproof," you defended.
"Was it?"
"No," you nervously reply, avoiding their eyes. "But he had it backed up and I bought him a new one!"
"That was kind of a bitchy move," Andrew muttered, catching your pissed gaze. "But at least you made up for it!"
Maybe it wasn't that great of an idea to just throw it in, but he did say he was really curious and wanted to dump it under the sink.
"Anyway," you start back up again, making Andrew lowly sigh in relief. "Our fights were never that serious, or at least not until he started filming for that new tv series he joined."
Florence spoke up, lightly questioning "The Last of Us?"
Nodding, you shrugged. "I guess it's normal to say the time apart did cause a rift in our relationship, but it wasn't too bad. He always made sure to call and facetime at least once every two days."
"But one day when he was visiting during his week break he just...snapped?" you frowned, not even wanting to visualize the tiny argument.
You had to for your own good.
"He had been home for maybe two days before he suddenly became moody. Like- his attitude was insane, I have never seen him like this ever," you sigh, closing your eyes for a second before continuing. "He didn't want to go out to eat, didn't want me to make him food, and when I offered to have it delivered he slammed the bedroom door on my face and claimed he was going to bed."
"Woah, why would he do that?" Andrew asked, seriousness splattered all over his face.
You wish you knew.
"Not sure, I just thought maybe work was stressing him out so I wanted him to have his alone time to clear his mind."
"Did that work?"
Sitting up straighter, you send a sorrowful smile. "For the rest of that week-yes. He ended up apologizing to me when I tried going to bed and said his manager was being tough on him for some scenes they had done."
You remember the moment you walked inside your bedroom, disappointed that he was awake. Not wanting to cause more tension, you planned to sneak under the covers and deal with the incident in the morning.
But his arms slowly wrapping over your waist as you had your back facing him said otherwise. Pulling you closer, you remember the soft "please don't be mad at me" he whispered near your ear, making sure you felt his tight embrace as if to prove you were his.
That night ended with you turning your body over to face him, accepting his open arms as a way to answer his pleading way of forgiveness.
Like always.
"Once he went back to work, we still talked- but I could tell he wasn't fully engaged like he always was," you sulk, remembering the first time you caught him not listening. "It got to the point where I purposely stopped answering his calls."
Your friends quickly send you a shocked look, you continue before they could intercept. "I couldn't handle his lack of attention, I would rather have him panic from the rejected calls than just tell him why I was upset."
It wasn't your best move, but you were frustrated. It wasn't fair that he was the one who got to treat you poorly and you had to accept it.
You admit, maybe if you communicated with him about these issues you could've prevented many future arguments and even saved your relationship.
But you were human and sometimes humans act human.
"Then what happened?" Andrew asked, a curious appearance plastering his face. "You continued ignoring him?"
Laughing lightly, you shake your head. It was the plan, but plans don't always work out. "Actually, he secretly took a flight back home one weekend and confronted me."
Gasping, Florence jumped up in her seat and moved her leg under her. "No way!"
"Yes, way," you sheepishly reply, embarrassed at the memory. You can still picture the way Pedro stood in your shared bedroom as you stepped out of your bathroom, jumping at the sight of him.
Standing with his arms crossed with his bags thrown by the door, he was determined to figure out what was going on with you.
"I wouldn't say we engaged in a heated argument, but it was surprisingly really emotional."
Andrew leaned his body closer, too interested not to let his questions slide. "Were you guys never emotional? I feel like every couple experiences those moments together- it's what makes them stronger."
It should've made you two stronger, but instead it made you weaker without you realizing it.
"Pedro and I had our minor instances, but it never involved problems we were facing," you began, sighing slightly. "All I remember was finding him standing near the bed with no emotion- none. I couldn't read what he may have been feeling, he just looked so....empty?"
"Empty? That's not good." Florence commented.
"That could mean a lot of things, not necessarily anger," Andrew added, trying to make you feel better.
"I knew deep down he was mad, as he should be- I was the one ignoring him," you defended him, taking full responsibility over your childish actions. "But I could tell he was more hurt that mad."
"What did he say?"
"What's going on?" Pedro questioned, his eyes not daring to leave yours as you freeze- stopping your attempts at brushing your wet hair, extremely confused as to why he was here.
He wasn't supposed to visit for another month, or so he said.
"Pedro?" you squint your eyes, still not sure if he was really in front of you or maybe you were daydreaming. You were high off many shots of espressos, it's finally hitting you. "Is that you?"
Still staring plainly at you, he stays right where he was. In any other circumstances he would have run up and wrapped his arms tightly around you, but this night was different.
He looked disorientated, out of place. His eyes lacked intensity as his body followed, looking as stiff as ever. Even his breathing matched his energy, calm yet unsettled.
You left him confused and he did not like that. "Answer my question."
Batting your eyes faster, you realize what was going on and where he was. Gasping, you do the exact opposite of what he wanted. "What the hell are you doing here?! You're not supposed to be home- you could get fired a-"
Taking a hold of your arms, he stills you and ignores your rambling. "What-" he begins, moving his right hand to the back of your neck and forcing you to focus on him only. "-is going on?"
Freezing, you try to back your head away from his grip but he tightens his grasp, making sure to not be too rough so he doesn't actually hurt you- he would never do such a thing. "I don't understand-"
"You haven't been answering my calls, what else is there to understand?" He sternly recalls, not wanting you to bullshit your way out of this. "So you either have been ignoring me on purpose to be petty or this is your way of hinting you don't want to be with me anymore."
Shaking your head frantically, you try to talk but he cuts you off again. "-And don't say you've been busy. You and I both know I would have figured out if you had added projects to your schedule- your mom tells me everything."
If this were a good time, you would have laughed at his side comment regarding your mother, but it wasn't.
"Not everything," you spit out, causing him to squint his face and release his hands from you.
"Are you trying to tell me something? Are you not happy? Is that why you've been avoiding my calls?" he questions, tilting his head in bewilderment, not liking your attitude at the moment. "Because if you really don't want to be with me you should've told me sooner than leaving me feeling fucking clueless while I'm out in another country working."
"I'm not saying I don't want to be with you-"
"But you aren't denying it," he intercepts, firmly nodding in realization. "I get it, I'm just glad I know now and won't have to wait another month to finally understand how you're feeling."
Walking away from you, Pedro walks towards his bags and reaches down for them. You scoff at his disturbed demeanor. There is no way you should be the only one at fault here- you both made mistakes.
Pushing his backpack off his hands, he watches at it lands on the floor before instantly finding your eyes. "Are you seri-"
"Just because I'm avoiding your calls doesn't mean I want to end our relationship" you shriek, glaring at him as his eyes soften at your hidden truth.
Your angered expression and stiff posture hits him like a brick, there was something really bothering you and he was too oblivious to acknowledged it until you began overlooking him.
Taking a deep breath, you watch as your boyfriend intently examines you as if he's trying to read your impractical mind. Sometimes, he wished you would speak up when something was bothering you, in fact- he has told you many times in the past to do so.
But the idea of patiently waiting until it erupts is what he's sure you've normalized in fear of desertion. Or maybe refusal of reality- the two of you weren't perfect.
"What's going on?" He calmly questions again, dropping any signs of fury and replaces it with worry and concern. Reaching out to you, he softly clasps your shoulder before moving in a few inches. "Am I making you upset?"
Slapping his hand away, you cross your arms over your chest in agitation. "I'm mad at you!"
Blinking a few times, he couldn't believe how fast you spilled and chaotic your energy was. He's never seen you act this hysterical and to be honest, he was really debating asking if you were on your period or not. "Why?"
Pursing your lips together, you release your arms and let them fall on your sides. "You know why!" With that, you turn your back to him and make your way back to your bathroom to hide.
At this point, you felt it was acceptable to act unbearable- he left you feeling insignificant and you weren't going to hold it in anymore.
If you stayed there any longer you knew you would break down into tears. Showing your vulnerable side this early into an argument was too easy, you have to show how bold you were in order to get your point across.
Or anger across.
But it was really hard to hold a grudge, he was just so- loving, despite your recent incidents. Deep down, he did care about you and wanted to validate your feelings- or as best he could.
Grabbing anything you could find near your sink, you begin opening some moisturizer and splatter it around your hands to keep you busy. You could feel Pedro come inside your shared bathroom but you don't dare to peep his way.
"Honey- please," you heard him release a soft sigh as he stood behind you, watching through your huge mirror in front of the two of you. He could make out your distressed appearance and you were absolutely not fine. "You can't just steer clear from this, we need to talk about it-"
Slamming the poor jar on the counter, you swiftly twist your body to his front and feel all the rage taking control. "But did you want to talk all those times I called you?! No, you didn't give one fuck about me or Leia!"
"You named your dog after Princess Leia? That's smart," Andrew butted in, grinning. "You know, since he's in the Mandalorian and Star W-"
"We get it."
Maybe it was wrong to bring your beloved corgi into such a serious topic, but she was abandoned by her father too.
"I did talk to you! I made sure to call you whenever I had time an-"
"I'm glad I made it into your schedule- but maybe if you considered adding some compassion and empathy it wouldn't feel like I'm just another business call you hate!"
Panting, you send daggers his way as his eyes widen. Did you just say he doesn't care about your calls? Impossible- he loves your calls, it makes his days better.
"You aren't a business call and you know that. Honey, please understand- hey!" He cuts himself off once you finally had enough of his poor attempts to defend himself, trying to flee but he ends up being quicker on his feet and yanking you back to his arms.
But once you were wrapped around him, even though it was for pure captivity and not warmth, you instantly broke down. He didn't know you were in tears until he felt his shirt become damp and still then he just thought you were trying to spit on him out of anger.
Hearing your tiny whimpers, he immediately glanced down and lifted you up to catch a clear view of your face, despite your protests and blockings. "Baby, I-I didn't mean to make you cry-"
"You don't mean a lot of things," you spit out, swatting his hands that dared to reach your face. You weren't in the mood to make up, all you wanted to do was sleep your troubles away, especially with the draining work day you had.
Continuing your pulling, Pedro began becoming annoyed with your strong protests against his affection. Isn't this what you wanted? "Why won't you let me hold you? I want to console you, can't I be your boyfriend for the night and tomorrow you can continue hating me?"
"You see my tears and now you want to hold me but admit we'll still be out of place tomorrow? That's acceptable for you?" you laugh ruthlessly, allowing space to be brought in front of you. "Do you hear yourself?"
Groaning, he rubs his face hard before speaking his mind, trying not to sound too furious and scare you. "What do you want me to do? I admit, I did lack some energy-"
"Some?" you snort to yourself, your face still wet.
"Don't interrupt me," he declared, shaking his head at how rude you were becoming. "I wasn't the best partner, okay?! There, I admit it, but you don't understand how it is working constantly and not being able to see family and friends and-"
"It's like you don't even know me at all," you ignorantly chuckle over his nonsense and walk towards your bed.
What a way to dismiss your feelings.
"That's not what I meant," he sighs, following after and stopping you from opening your covers and hiding underneath them. "It's just hard being away from everyone I love, I'm in a different country. It's not like I can drive an hour away and suddenly see them!"
"I can't do that either!"
"Can't you just please, please, please- consider that my mindset is not good right now," he declares, his eyes filling with sadness as his arms slowly find your waist. Taking a deep breath, you watch as he looked up at the ceiling before biting his lip. "I know I am not being the best partner right now- or for the past few months, but I am trying."
As soon as uncertainty flushed your face, his hands tightened as his expression deepened into an emotion you never seen him explore before- dejection.
"I can't promise you I'm suddenly going to wake up and give you 110% every interaction we have," he began, his voice lowering as he tried to keep his emotions in check. "But I confess- I am being a little shit and I am willing to work on that. Just please- please don't push me away. Try to understand my situation."
He wasn't wrong, his life switched around once he accepted the role of Joel Miller and you should've known from the start he would face some difficulties. Maybe you were being too self-centered and invalidated his feeling too, not just him.
Sometimes he wasn't good with words when expressing himself and made you feel as if you weren't as popular as him, but you knew it was never his intention to hurt you like that. He had a heart and loved to use it.
Fighting over work should never be a reason to be miserable especially when it's how you both get your income.
"I-I understand," you lightly speak up, watching as his eyes light up by the sound of your now calm voice filling his ears. "I just want you to know that it didn't make me feel good-"
"Of course it wouldn't make you feel good, I was being horrible," Pedro intercepted, pulling you into a tight hug and landing his face in your neck. "And if I wasn't thousands of miles away I would totally spoil you with kisses and chocolates as my sorry."
"Chocolates are still in favor," you joke and feel him softly swat your bottom in disapproval.
Pulling away, he leans his face closer to yours and plants a sweet kiss upon your lips before backing up an inch and whispering softly, "I love you, you know that right?"
Smiling, you slowly nod and surprise him with a deeper kiss before answering him back with a familiar, "I love you, too."
"You better," he smirks, pulling his body on top of yours, hearing your light squeaks once your back hit the mattress and his lips snuck their way into the crook of your neck.
"Did you end up getting chocolates?" Andrew immediately questioned once you finished your long recollection of memories.
"That's not important," Florence rolled her eyes.
"I mean he did promise her it."
Chuckling at his curiosity, it amused you how focused he was about some candy. "Yes, he did- for like a month and then I got over them."
"Understandable," Andrew replied, looking down at his lap.
Florence jumped over him, making herself sit closer to you as he winced at her sudden movements. "Then what happened?! I mean, there had to be more right?"
"My god woman, I hope you're not working for TMZ," Andrew joked.
She shushed him before leaning closer to you, signaling you to continue on with your memories. "After that fight, things became pretty normal again. We would call each other with far more energy than before and he would even fly back home often to keep our communication strong."
"And how long did that last?"
Frowning, you took a small breath. "Like three months- then we started fighting more."
"Over?"
Rubbing your face, you groaned. "He went back to lacking energy! But that's not even the worst part."
"Please don't tell me he cheated," Andrew begged, covering his eyes with his hands while pulling a sorrow look. "I would never be able to look at him the same."
"I don't know if he did cheat- but I did find out two months before we ended things that he stayed the night at his exes."
Loudly gasping, the company you had began freaking out with their jaws dropping- literally. Florence angrily furrowed her brows, "you've got to be kidding? How is that allowed in a relationship?- It's not!"
Crossing your legs, you shrug as a way to answer her. You really did wonder what was going through his head when he did that. Sadly, you couldn't believe a word he said after you found out what he did.
Maybe that's why you were fine with ending things- because the trust was slowly disappearing.
"Not to mention he would always be with her and ditch plans with me," you form a tight smile, trying not to make things awkward but it was too late.
Who could possible hear this and not feel embarrassed for you? Classic move on his part to follow the 'being friends with my ex is okay' stereotype, but it only left you feeling unwanted and flawed.
Were you not good enough to be in his arms all those times he ditched you for her? And why couldn't he tell you what was really going on- unless he was truly hiding something unspeakable.
"Spill the beans."
Hearing a door slam, you jump up in a daze. You could feel sleep still linger on your body as you crank your neck to the side, capturing the bright '12:47 pm' located on top of your nightstand.
Slowly yanking your body up, you don't stretch as you hurry out of your room to the living room in search of the mysterious person who was either your missing boyfriend or an intruder.
Catching sight of his bright yellow t-shirt as he opens the refrigerator, you could feel your body boil up. "Where have you been? You snuck out last night without even telling me- do you even understand how worried I was?!"
Watching as he gradually turns his head to face yours, Pedro closes the fridge before leaning against the kitchen counter- completely relaxed despite your current state.
"I was out with friends," he declared, grinning to try and take pressure off from you- it didn't work. "I'm sorry, I will tell you next time. I didn't mean to worry you, my love."
Placing your hands on your hips, it pains you that you secretly don't believe a word he's saying. Normally, if this were the case, he would text you if you were sleeping or call you in the morning to inform you with what he'd done.
He did neither one.
Maybe you should test him? Ask him questions and see if he'll freeze up?
"And who were you with?"
He smiled, grabbing a cup from the pantry while easily answering, "Diego and Oscar- we had a couple of drinks and Oscar thought it would be best I stay the night."
Nodding swiftly, you examine him to see if there were any signs of him lying- there weren't. Fuck, you forgot he was an actor. It's literally his job to control his emotions! "And why didn't you call or at least send a simple text?"
After hearing your words, Pedro sends you a small smile before gently placing his cup down. Walking up to you, he opens his arms. "Baby, is that why you're so upset? Because I didn't call?"
Before you could answer, he engulfs you in his arms before swaying you both around. Feeling vibrations as he let out light giggles, you instantly dropped any suspicions you may have had because he had to tell the truth- he would never lie to you.
It's surreal how easily you could throw any convictions out the window when he touched you. It's like he jogged your memory.
"Well, why didn't you at least text?"
Removing his head from your neck, he squeezes you waist and sends you an amused smirk . "Because I was insanely drunk and if I would've used my phone it probably would have resulted in me leaving you hundreds of drunk voicemails confessing my love for you."
"And that's bad?"
He chuckled, shaking his head before pinching your side. "No, but it sure as hell is annoying."
Standing up straighter, you cautiously nod at his answer and watch as he lovingly smiled down at you. "Okay, I believe you."
"Did you really believe him?" Andrew asked.
"I call bullshit," Florence confidently declares, strong on her view that Pedro was not an honest person.
"Let me finish the story!"
Loud footsteps could be heard near your hallway as you stood behind the oven, trying your best to not burn these damn chocolate chip cookies.
Such a basic recipe yet so complex- it was truly aggravating.
"Y/n? Where are you?!" you heard you assistant squeal from a distance.
Trying to properly put your mitten on, you murmur a small "kitchen" before preparing yourself to open the oven. The amount of times you burned yourself thinking it was cool enough not to wear protection-
Point is- always wear protection.
Opening the oven door, you pull the tray of freshly baked cookies towards you as the footsteps became clearly audible. Right when the cookies were in your grip and being lifted, you heard your assistant yelp-
"Pedro was caught leaving his ex's house two days ago."
Throwing yourself up into a standing position, you forget about the tray of cookies until you feel the burning sensation upon your left arm. You accidentally pulled the tray too close to you. "Ow!"
Instantly panicking, your assistant rushes to your side in support and grabs a towel to fill with ice. Pressing downwards on the wound, you wince at the pressure that was building.
"What the hell are you talking about?" you still question, extremely curious to uncover what this situation was.
His ex? That's absurd, he hasn't dated anyone in years when you first met. It's definitely not like he was in contact with them when you made it official, he was always firm when it came with communicating with past relationships.
That was a big no-no, especially when one of your ex's tried reaching out after your last movie dropped. Pedro made it very clear how unhappy he was when he made an appearance at your premiere- your boyfriend not daring to leave your side and even blocking your view whenever your ex had the chance to gawk you up close.
At the time, people thought Pedro only attended because he was close with the director and has always been friendly with other actors. Little did they know he was being extra friendly with you behind the curtains.
"Someone snapped photos of him outside of her door! It looks like he just woke up, too." Grabbing the phone from her hands, you pull it closer to your face and watch what the screen uncovered.
There he was, your boyfriend of two-years smiling brightly as he steps outside her door in the clothes he wore the night before. The same ones he manipulated you with about being with Diego and Oscar that night.
Not just that, but peering on the side of the door was indeed his tall, beautiful ex who definitely aged like fine wine. Hell, she was gorgeous and everybody knew that.
And the fact that they broke up due to their long distance, at the time, did not help this situation. Now that they lived a few cities away, what now? Were you just a doormat he could walk all over and eventually throw away whenever he wanted something new?
Placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, you refuse to take your eyes off the screen as your assistant begins speaking. "Did you know he slept over?" Glancing up, she takes your downcast face as an answer and swiftly pulls you in a tight hug. "Oh no, I'm so sorry."
You were sorry for yourself, too. How could he lie right to your face so easily knowing he was doing it- intentionally. And the most fucked up part was he probably knew you would believe him- just like all the other times you did.
"I saw that picture!" Andrew exclaimed, bewildered at his recollection. "I thought the paparazzi caught him lacking after a hook-up- damn, I wish I would've known you were together sooner."
"Same, I would have unfollowed him," Florence added. "And nobody would've known it was because of you- since you two never been public."
Forcing a smile, you give her a tiny nudge on the arm. "Gee, thanks for being so considerate."
"Continue!"
"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before your flee.
Let's just say, things were pretty...eventful once you discovered his scheme.
For starters, after bawling your eyes out on your poor assistant's shoulder, she made her departure in order to clean up the spare bedroom she offered you to take if you weren't comfortable staying at your own place.
You accepted.
Once she was out the door, you fled to your bedroom and grabbed any suitcase close by and began stuffing it to the brim, not caring how disorganized it was professing as you reached for more clothes.
You were almost done packing your second bag full of makeup and bathroom necessities when you heard your front door open. Jumping up, you felt your eyes widen once you heard your name being chanted on by your boyfriend. "Y/n?!"
"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, drastically glancing around your now messy bathroom to make changes to your plan- only take things you really need.
Seconds pass and you find yourself zipping your bag and rushing out the door, that was until your body roughly collided with another- causing you to drop your belongings and land on the floor. Groaning, you hesitantly rise, immediately finding your boyfriend's body nearing yours as he pleads to help you off the ground.
"Baby, I'm sorry! I didn't see you coming out," he apologizes, using his fingertips to clasp your forearms to level you. "Look, I need to tell y-"
"Get off of me," you grit, forcibly slapping his palms off you, causing him to cease and stare stunned. He has never seen you once be this aggressive. Sure, you would reject his embrace whenever you two fought here and there, but slap? Not ever.
Brushing roughly past him, you gripped your larger suitcase by its handles and made a beam to the closest exit. You couldn't be around him, not when thoughts of him being unfaithful constantly drowned your head.
A strong tug of your makeup bag made you halt your movements, not by choice, as Pedro made sure to tighten his grip to prevent you from leaving. Glancing down at his now white, clenched hands, you glare. "Let go."
Shaking his head, he stared you down- irritated that you would just pack up and leave so quickly without even hearing his side of the story. Yes, he should have told you what really happened that night- but he knew how you'd react.
It was better to keep it sealed until he was ready to unveil- or so he thought.
"You let go," he hissed, raising one of his hands and smacking yours with it. You hate how much stronger he still was while only using one hand while you had two- fuck his strength and your poor muscles.
Groaning, you dig your feet onto the ground harder as you continue your tug-a-war charade with your selfish boyfriend who didn't seem to believe space was an understandable coping mechanism after he shattered your small heart.
"Fine," you yelp, shoulders falling slightly as he eases his grip- still holding on though. "We both let go on 3."
Tilting his head, he suddenly grew suspicious by your random middle ground. He knew you well enough to know you don't give up that easily, especially when he's fully sure, by your bolting efforts, you saw the picture. "How do I know you won't just run off after?"
"You're faster and stronger than me, you'll catch me eventually."
Internally agreeing, he knew you had a point. Even if you did escape, your little legs weren't going to get you far- he knows from all the times he tackled you down after you countlessly would steal his food.
"1," you begin, eyeing him to see if he would follow.
"2," he stared at you back, cautiously watching your every step.
Taking a deep breath, you count again. "3!" With that, you release your grip from your bag and watch as he still clutches on to the strap. "What the hell- we agreed on 3 we'd both let go!"
Nervously chuckling, he placed the bag on the ground and sheepishly smiled at you. He was glad to see you finally calming down. "Sorry, I didn't think you would actually do it."
Sending him an annoyed glance, he scratches the back of his neck for assuming you wouldn't follow your word. "Trust me, I always tell the truth."
Wincing at your cold tone, he frowns by your hard demeanor. "About that- I was going to tell you-"
Softly placing a hand over your head, you release a sound of discomfort and miss the way his eyes wander in curiosity.
"Can we talk about this after I take my supplements? I am not feeling too good," you cut him off, slowly touching your forehead as you watch his concern grow. "I forgot to take them this morning."
"You know you get bad migraines when you don't take them," he declared, sighing as he raised his hand and began softly rubbing your temple in ease.
He believed you were being serene because you weren't livid and allowed him to stop you from leaving- how wrong he was.
"I know but I had a crammed morning-"
"This is why we need to hire someone to walk Leia, we don't have enough time majority of the week!" he exhales, making you stare at the floor for the point taken. But there was no way you'd hire someone to walk your dog, that's ridiculous and a waste of money. "We'll talk after, let me grab them- stay here."
Sadly nodding, you allow him to flee towards your bathroom in search for your medicine. Peering you head a few inches to the side, you wait till the coast is clear before slowly, but firmly, grabbing your once lost bag and dashing out of your bedroom.
"I almost forgot about Leia," you muttered to yourself, instantly feeling bad at the thought of how quick you were to forget your baby. How terrible of a mother were you.
And what even was more mind blowing was how Pedro didn't catch your innocent acting. Truthfully, he must be trying to be extra helpful so you would believe him. Too late.
Finding your white corgi near the kitchen, you whistle lowly for her to follow as you peddled your way to your garage. "C'mon doggie, if daddy notices our escape plan he won't let us leave that easil-"
"Y/n?!"
Jaw dropping, you shoot a glance of panic to your dog, who only blankly stares back, before rushing to your parked car. "Just like Batman and Robin- now jump in," you hushed, opening the back seat so you could not only throw your bags back there- but also your tiny-legged corgi who struggles at first, but eventually makes it in.
Once you jumped into your seat and turned on the car, you catch a breathless Pedro rushing out through the door to your side. "Fuck."
"You tricked me!"
"You slept with another woman, asshole!" you yell back, glaring as he rolled his eyes- outraged by how unreasonable you were becoming. All he wanted to do was sit you down and have a normal conversation about this, but instead you kept running away.
Once again, he thinks you need to work on your communication skills.
"You used your failing health to your advantage- how sick are you?" he yelped, offended.
"They were gummy supplements!"
Touching your car door, he sternly peers at you as you quickly lock your doors in case he tried opening it. "I did not sleep with another woman," he started, inhaling strongly before releasing it. "Why would I do that when I am in a committed relationship? Huh? Do you think I am capable of cheating?"
Shrugging innocently, you pull a sarcastic face. "Not sure, I do know you're capable of lying- maybe infidelity is the cherry on top?"
Mouth gapping, he sends you a look of hurt and for a second you feel terrible by your choice of words. In your heart, you wanted to take it back- but your head thought otherwise.
"I would never be unfaithful to you- that's not who I am," he firmly states, feeling like absolute shit that you would even accuse him of being with another woman when you were all he thought about every single second of the day.
Dryly chuckling, you nod along to his words. He feels his heart ache, as if hundreds of knives jabbed through the delicate muscle by your painful mien. Did you really think that lowly of him?
"That's who you are to me now."
Once those words flew out of your mouth and he was able to process it clearly, he paused. Whole body turning stiff and cold, he scolded you profoundly before fiercefully charging towards your car door and pounding for entrance.
It was like a nerve was touched and he was not willing to be forgiving anymore. You struck him hard and he knew you meant it out of pure anger- not genuinely, but his awareness soon became replaced with treachery and he so badly wanted you to pay for your foul words.
"Open the god damn door, y/n. You are being overdramatic- it was one night! Nothing happened!" Pedro yelled, pulling the car handle harshly as you searched through your bag that sat on your passenger seat- looking to see if you had everything you needed before fleeing.
Mentally checking off your items before departure, you inhale sharply before lowering down your car's mirror and pressing your garage remote- allowing the door to gradually rise and Pedro to panic.
Cursing in his head, he couldn't let you drive away or else he might never see you for days and he couldn't bear the thought of you moping around in agony without at least hearing from him- the man in the picture- what actually happened that night.
Pressing on the lever and angling down to reverse, you nervously press on the gas and allow your car to drift back as your poor dog watched through the backseat his dad embarrassingly urging you to not go.
You prayed the neighbors couldn't hear a thing, if the cops came you're sure you would never go out in public for at least six months.
Realizing that it was now or never, you see from the corner of your eye a figure running towards the back of your car before a loud thump was heard.
Shakily, pressing on the brakes and putting your car on park, you jump out in horror by the sight of legs near your back tires.
You hit him.
"Shit!" you gasped, involuntarily sprinting- as if your body just knew how to react- and dropping down to your boyfriend's lifeless body-
"You ran him over?!" Andrew and Florence shrieked, interrupting your storytelling, causing you to glare and shush them.
"Shut the fuck up- it's getting to the interesting part!"
Hugging his body tightly, you could feel your face began to fall down and your body slowly begin to tremble. In a matter of seconds, you just knew your garage wasn't going to be a pretty sight to see.
Hitching your breath, you run your hands to your boyfriend's chest and shake him softly in hopes he would open his eyes- he didn't. With tears flushing down your face, you sniff as you grip onto him harder. "Please w-wake up," you begin, trying your best to keep your touch on him but you were a jittering mess. Not being able to stay still, you press your ear over his chest to see his he still had a pulse.
Sighing in relief, he did.
Squeezing his face, you frown as his expressionless face stills. Realizing he might have passed out over a concussion, your lips begin to tremble as you finally breakdown in tears and cradle him.
Leaning over from his side, you bend your body and embrace his head into your neck. "I am such a-a fucking idiot," you squeak, your eyes shutting as you don't have the power to keep them open. "I-I love you- I should've just stayed and t-talked-!"
Cutting yourself off, you ironically feel like the lifeless one despite your literal unconscious boyfriend being in your arms at the moment. Bitch, you really had the nerve. Swiftly kissing his cheek, you plunge yourself into his neck and cushion him with your body- being as fragile as ever when handling him.
Quivering in misery, you keep a strong grip onto him before you felt pressure along your side. "It's been minutes and you still haven't called 911? I could've been dead by now."
Screaming, you instantly drop the figure once on top of you and force your thighs to back up, causing you to sit perplexed on the concrete floor.
Glancing back up, you find your boyfriend brightly grinning your way, using his arms to hold his upper portion up as you looked back in confusion. Didn't you hit him?
"I was my own stunt double for some scenes," he speaks up, smiling to himself proud as you continued staying still, confused as to what had just happened. "As long as you have the right mentality- you can take a pounding."
Registering where he was going with this, you scoff and quickly allow your feet to hit the ground. Following after you, Pedro jumps at your unpleased sight and watches as you cooly open your back door to let your dog jump out before marching towards the door to your house.
"Wait? Are you mad at me for that, too?" He calls out, tilting his head in question and proceeds to get his answer by the slamming of the door behind you. "Never mind."
Angrily storming through your hallway, you accidentally run into the wooden desk placed against the wall. "Ugh!" you scream, turning around and giving it one hard kick before making your way towards your destination- the kitchen.
"What did the desk ever do to you?" Pedro mumbled to himself, stopping right by it once you were out of sight and fixing it back up against the wall, making sure the books settled on top were nested properly before going after you.
"So that's why one of the legs is chipped? I noticed that-"
"Shut up, Andrew."
"Sorry, go on."
Finding you near the blacked marbled kitchen bar, Pedro ceased his movements. To be honest, he was nervous to confront you. Not only did you find out he slept at his ex girlfriend's house, but he made you believe he was dead.
This was not going to end well.
"How could you do this to me?" He hears you ask, you back being in his peripheral view as you leaned your body over the counter, hands gripping the ends roughly.
"Do what?" he idiotically responds back, mentally slapping himself for having the audacity to question something he surely knows.
Slowly turning around, capturing his soft yet worried eyes, he catches onto your tear ones and breaks down on the inside. "Tell me the truth." you gulp, averting your eyes to your feet as you sense him bobble his head. "Did you sleep with her?"
Choking on air, he frantically shakes his head in dismay, not believing you would actually think that despite the past half an hour of him comprehending that you might so. Maybe he just couldn't believe it would ever come out of your mouth- but this whole situation made him nauseous.
Steadily finding his balance, he inched towards your frail body as you kept your contact with the floor strong, not daring to move it even when the sight of his shoes play in your mind. "Honey," he lowly calls out, lifting his fingers to your chin and hastily bringing your vision to his own. "No- I did not sleep or engage in any sexual nor romantic activity with her."
"Then why did you go to her house and not tell me?!" you cried, nudging his hand off your face, him immediately aiming towards your waist to still have you near. "Why would you do this to me? Why would you sleep over when you know how I would feel?"
"I can't tell you," he confesses, whispering softly. Feeling your face fall, you erupt into tears again as you lift up your palms to hide behind them.
Hiccuping, your hands twitch as they support your weight and force you to fall on top of the counter and continue watering your tears there. Everything was unfair and he couldn't seem to realize how bad your fights have progressed throughout the months.
"If you really care about me," you whimper, still behind your hands as he rubs circles on your waist. "You would consider my feelings and understand why I should know what you did with her."
Sighing, he releases you waist and rubs his forehead in frustration. Pedro wasn't the type to hide things in relationships. In fact, he was amazing when it came to expressing feelings and being honest while you were the same- but you typically took longer to reveal your troubles than he did.
But no matter how loyal he was to you, it wasn't his place to share someone else's business no matter who the association may be.
"I know, baby. I know- believe me," he whispers, pulling you in for a hug and lifting you off the counter as your sobs were felt among his chest. It broke his heart. "But I can't betray her, she needed me and trusted me to see her. I can't just deceive her."
"But you can do that to me?" you reply, catching him off guard as he shuts his eyes tightly by how accurate you were being. "It's okay, I understand."
"No," he shakes his head, groaning before staring you down. "You don't understand, hell- I don't understand this either. But what I need you to know is I did not kiss, flirt, wink, tease, or touch her in any sexual way. We did not have sex - there was no removing of any clothing-"
"Then why did you sleepover?!"
"She needed me," he simply replies, causing you to laugh ridiculy.
"I needed you and you left me," you spit out harshly, not believing how he could defend himself and think you would ever fine with it.
Grunting, he runs his hand over his hair before pouring all of his stress onto you. "What do you want me to do? I told you what happened- she needed me, I helped her, it took longer than expected so I fell asleep on the couch- do you want to touch my knotted back for proof? Because you can!"
"Why am I the one being yelled at?" you respond, watching his face fall in disappointment.
Staying in your position for a minute or two, you continued examining him as he did the same, not knowing where this was headed. That was until he motioned with his hand for you to move closer.
"Come here."
Furrowing your brows, you pause at his words. Did he think hugging was going to solve all of your problems- because it wasn't. "No-"
Feeling his arms glide up along your upper body and finally wrapping around your shoulders, he pressed you up against his chest into the warmest bear hug you might have engaged in.
It was...peaceful.
Sighing, he felt your body soften by the touch. Relaxing, you closed your eyes as he made it his mission to not ease up on his grip. "I didn't do anything with her," he whispers, laying his face comfortably on your shoulder. "I promise, I love you."
Sadly, his confession made you break down more as tears flooded your face and your body fell upon his grip. Easily wrapping his palms on the back of your head, he cradled you tightly and never left your sight once the rest of that day and week.
And that's how that fight ended- with you trusting his sweet nothings and letting him take over your body with his hugs and kisses because he somehow made you believe him.
Every single time.
You wish you could have moved on from that topic that night as you allowed him to show you how much he loved you, but unfortunately that wasn't an option.
Especially when paparazzi exploited more pictures with him and his ex the following weeks later.
"And what about your last fight? You know- the one that ended things," Andrew started, making you halt. "What happened then?"
Quickly standing up, you brushed your sweatpants down before sending him a tight smile. Now that you talked about sad memories you hadn't really thought of in months, you knew the mention of your last fight would only break you.
You weren't ready to undergoing the same pain you felt that night.
"I didn't know these talks about my past would take a toll on me, but they have. I don't want to talk about it, but I appreciate the two of you checking up on me- I really do, but I think its time for me to take a shower and maybe nap- it's been a tiring day."
Feeling your discomfort, Florence and Andrew exchanged a weary glance before looking back up to you, hesitantly nodding. Probably an intense memory, they were determined not to mention it again unless you came forward.
"Alright- but give us a call if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just plain old company!" Florence smiled, wrapping her arms around you for a quick hug before pulling back. "We can even have a sleepover."
"Count me out on that one," Andrew joked, bending down to give you the same hug. "But for real, you can cry on my shoulder any time."
"Thanks," you giggle, soon following them towards your front door as they say goodbye to your dog before departing in their own cars.
What an emotional day it has been.
-
"Do I really have to go? It's no use- I already seen the film. I don't want to rewatch it," you whine as your manager hushes you.
Walking down the side of the theatre, you clutch onto the oversized, black leather jacket you were wearing as your manager and assistant walked on either side of you, directing to to the entrance of a random theatre in the city.
Since the Oscars, nothing has really changed. It's been about three weeks now and there wasn't chaos anymore- it seemed like news about that night had already faded.
Regularly, you did chat with Florence, Shailene, and Andrew on the phone- individually at times throughout your past weeks- but nothing too crazy.
You all had your busy schedules and your manager was still being as hardworking as ever trying to exploit more of you to the press and on the screen. Safe to say, every time she had news it would always be something impressive.
Except for today, when she proudly announced after barging into your house during breakfast that there was a new film premiere you had to attend.
It's not like you opposed the idea- but you watched the film when the production team invited you to their private screening. It would be useless watching it again.
But as persistent as ever, your manager claimed there would be great press and directors attending the public's premiere, following with "an Oscar-nominated actress like you must make themself remembered."
As dramatic as always- but at least she was highly active in your career.
She did everything to make you get noticed, especially when you were at your lowest point mentally after your breakup.
Now onto past relationships, you hadn't heard any news regarding Pedro since you last saw him. Not that you wanted to, but for some reason he was still on your mind. Due to the fact you did sit with your friends ranting about your shared troubles, that's likely the reason.
But all jokes aside, you seriously can't stop thinking about him.
However, you were too scared to admit this to anyone. You tried telling Florence, but every time you mentioned his name she would immediately disregard him, pissed by how he treated you.
Which you loved that she had your back, but you needed someone else to have his own- oddly.
Maybe it was your head deep in thoughts that revealed how you were feeling, but your assistant seemed to notice that you weren't okay- mentally.
After checking in and finding a small crowd, you accepted that maybe most of the audience were in their seats already despite the film starting in almost an hour. Nudging you once your manager left to find one of the producers, you glanced at her as she motioned you to move towards the wall.
"What's up?"
She made a face, practically laughing at your question before continuing on. "Why don't you tell me 'what's up?' The whole ride here you've been silent and I know it's not because you were tired- you slept all afternoon, what's really up?"
Chuckling, you roll her eyes at how nosy she was being- but you knew she only wanted to help you. After working together for years, it was a ritual both of you performed: don't let the other be sad.
Surprisingly, it worked every time. She would hide you from people who upset you while you let her have more vacation days whenever she felt the same.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're thinking about him, huh."
Eyes widening, you shake your head quickly as she laughs at your poor attempt of denying her idea. But she knew right from the moment you got lost in your head that he was the one to blame.
"Don't worry, I won't tell," she whispered loudly, causing you to shove her as she laughed louder.
"Shut up, someone might hear you," you hiss, watching as she tried holding her breath to stop herself from cackling again. She just looked like a fish in need of water.
"Don't think about him then," she teased. "If it's making you lost in your thoughts! Wait- why is he in your head? I thought you hated him?"
Coughing, you shake your head. "I don't hate him- I could never."
"Never?" she raises a brow in shock. "I think we're seeing some progress here. You're falling back in loveeeee with him."
"No way," you scoffed as she grinned heavily. "I'm just thinking about the Oscars since that was the last work-related event I've been to since today and you know- he was there so he ended up in my mind...for a little."
She slowly nods, teasing a smug as makes it pretty clear she did not believe one word you said. Your assistant has seen everything, so she is quite familiar with your thoughts regarding Pedro.
She knows when your happily, sadly, angrily, and crazily daydreaming about him. In this case, she's stuck between happily and crazily- not seeming to find any hints of fury and sorrow through your expressions.
But definitely warmth and frustration- all due to him not being able to leave your head.
"When are you just going to admit you still love him?" She blurts out, causing you to snap your heard towards her. "Everybody sees it, you obviously have a soft spot for him if you let him be near you."
"Near me? He's never near me," you laugh. "And I never show signs I want him back, I don't. I made it clear for months now after perfectly avoiding him at all costs."
"Yeah, but he's still on your mind- that must mean something," she declares, causing your small grin to fall into a tight line.
That must mean something.
Did it?
Shaking that thought away, you reject her idea. "It means he traumatized me."
"It means you're in denial and scared to be with him again," she replied, placing her hands on her hips. "Look, I just know you two are meant to be. Next time you see him, talk to him. Tell him how much you care for him- even if you don't want to admit it in a lovey-dovey way. It can be friendly!"
Giving her a strange look, she lowers her energy quickly before looking around the room, making sure no one saw how enthuastic she became.
"You get the point!" she rolls her eyes. "Just be nice, maybe the both of you can form a friendship or just drift apart knowing there's no hard feelings."
"But there is hard feelings," you declared, pointing out the obvious.
There is a reason why you two broke up, like there is also a reason why you despise him. It all comes down to history and actions, which you've both experienced- which is why, again, you broke up.
"Just..." she started, thinking about it for a second before sending you a sincere glance. "-give it a shot. If you don't hate him, like you said, it wouldn't be terrible to be civil."
Slowly nodding, you understand where she's coming from. This tension between Pedro and you was getting old, and the fact it was only you adding fuel to the non-existent fire since you've broken up is sad.
Especially when all he's been around you was sweet and considerate of your feelings, leaving you alone when he felt your energy- except for that one night, but you have to admit that was your fault for riling him up.
The roughness of heels came marching your way, forcing the both of you to instantly lift your head- finding your manager striking a fake breaming grin with two men beside her. She was trying too hard.
"Girls! This is Greg and Shawn- the writers of the film!" she exclaimed, fluttering her lashes rapidly as both men awkwardly raised a hand, waving it.
Releasing a tiny chuckle, you do the same as your assistant walks closer, sticking out her hand to fully gain their attention and introduce herself.
What can you say- she was a charmer.
Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, your manager slightly pulls you closer to the strangers and strangely bobbles her head- preparing whatever gibberish was about to spit out of her talkative mouth.
"Y/n- the boys thought it would be a great idea to sit in the vip selection among other A-listers- isn't that just lovely? We are very grateful for your offer-"
Boys? Oh god- now she was bonding for her hopeful chances of getting a call for an audition.
Compelling a sweet smile, you feel the only possible response you could give them was a meaningless 'thank you so much' after she literally put you on blast to communicate more. The funniest part about this situation was- you already watched the film!
Clearly you never met these writers- but instead the director himself! Your manager should be satisfied enough with that.
"Would you look at the time,-" Greg- you believe, softly gasps while raising his arm to examine the tiny apple watch planted. "Guests are probably filling up in their seats by now, terribly sorry- but we should probably go."
"I hadn't realized how close we were to showtime- we certainly must continue off our conversation after the film is over!" Shawn proclaims, making your manager nod far too quickly. "I look forward to meeting again."
With that, the two men inclined their motions of farewells before taking off down a dimmed hall, likely finding the exact destination set to premiere their comedic film.
Sighing, you send daggers to your managers who barely blinks before coughing out a swift, "What?"
"You really couldn't wait till after the film was over to sweet talk them?"
Dramatically rolling her eyes at your annoyance, she waves you off by your sudden introversion. It was her job to throw her best compliments about you too them, and she knew you were still too young to understand that everything she did was for a cost.
You.
"C'mon grumpy, let's locate the theatre before you start whining that your feet hurt, too."
Feeling your mouth slightly drop from her remark, you hear your assistant cackle right beside you, using her right palm to hold in her giggles while you mentally prepared for what comeback to throw her way.
You got nothing.
Huffing, your legs followed hers as she guided the two of you towards the same hall the men approached minutes before. The closer you've walked, the larger the capacity gathered around.
For such a low-budget film, it sure did gain quite the crowd.
As the rolling of the ending credits flooded the screen once you sat the last two and a half hours trying to act as if you didn't know what was coming next, you wish you had it in you to say the second time made up for the first- but it didn't.
There we have it, tonight was just not your night and endlessly enough- you couldn't blame it on some silly excuse of watching the same film over again.
Not even your assistant's sneaky offerings of her red licorice lifted your blues- and that speaks enough volume to say the least.
"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" the whole-heartedly voice of your manager's voice filled your ears as the three of you sat in the same lobby as before, still not finding a way to escape a cold room.
Oh how you abominated the sharp hits of the air conditioning- it frankly made coming to the theaters a horror unless layers of clothing and a blanket was tagged along.
"Why can't we leave? The film is done and people are walking out."
"We still have to talk to Shawn and Greg!" your manager declared, presenting a look of pure determination to get her way with their levels of skill.
Groaning, you throw your head in absolute exhaustion. Fairly, if your manager hadn't had made such an early visit during the morning hours you're sure you would've been in a better mood.
It was like the more you interacted, the less energy you had to give.
In order to survive the next few hours, you needed your phone or who knows how your fake laughters will sound.
And you call yourself an actress.
Sliding your hand to the back of your pockets, you wait for the feel of your large iphone to surface- but that moment never comes. Swiftly, you check your leather jacket ones just in case you slipped it there without realizing.
You didn't.
Anxiously glancing towards your assistant, your trembling hands find her arm. "Have you seen my phone? It's not on me."
Examining your hands before meeting your eyes, she shrugs it off. "Relax, no need to have a nervous breakdown- I'm sure you left it in the car with your bag-"
"No, I had it on me during the previews."
"We did go to the bathroom, too- why not just go check those two places?" she suggests. Concerned filled you, hoping nobody was capable of actually stealing your phone- it would be such a hassle getting another one. "I'll check the bathroom, you check our seats."
Agreeing, the two of you sneakily escape your manager when her back was turned, unpleasantly speed walking down the familiar hall before parting ways to your needed locations.
Opening the thick, black doors and striding up the long runway, your eyes are met with the same darkened seating area you were in less than twenty minutes ago.
Then and there, you use this desertion in power- running towards the middle rows consider 'vip' and begin your inspection. Fuck, you wish your had some form of light to help- you couldn't see shit.
Sliding your fingers among the seat, you lift up the cushions in hopes it mysteriously pops up, but all you find is pieces of popcorn and gum glued down.
Gross.
Feeling your eyes begin to water, you were sure you were seconds away from crying like a little kid over the loss of your beloved possession before you heard a deep voice call out for your attention.
"Is this yours? I heard it ringing when I came back in and- uh," the person froze, not having the ability to finish off their sentence as you gradually lifted your body off the floor into their view.
Hopelessly praying the stranger was regarding your phone, your eyes search for their hands first and there it was- your phone!
The corners of your mouth lift up, as well as the creases around your eyes as you internally cheer for your discovery. However, it faltered once you noticed a familiar tattoo laying on one of their palms. Moving your eyes up, you're sure your smile completely disappears once you recognize those brown eyes.
How did you not catch onto his voice from down there?
"Uh- yeah- that's mine," you nervously reply, choking on your words that probably made you sound like you were about to lose consciousness by how strung you were, and hesitantly reach out for the device.
Pedro quietly lets you grab it, not saying one word as your hands collide for a split second before the object was back in your own. You didn't miss the name that appeared on the lit up screen when touched- your assistant must have tried calling you to see if the phone would ring in the bathroom.
Smart.
Avoiding awkward farewells, Pedro swiftly turns around and makes his way down the theatre stairs, not daring to continue on with the barely existing conversation you shared. He's leaving, that fast?
Thinking about all your past interactions, he would always try to chat with you- even when you did give him the coldest shoulder of all time- because that's who he was: kind.
But now he's...walking away?
"Hey- uhm," you begin, following clumsily after him, almost tripping on one of the steps as he reaches his final steps and doubtfully turns your way. Once you stood another step ahead of him, you feel that swirling feeling in your stomach again.
You were nervous- you've never felt this way around him during your breakup- never.
Adjusting your arms inside your jacket, a small smile is extracted out of you as you watch his stay flat. He did not look interested one bit and it frightened you to death. "Thanks for finding my phone- I-I was really scared there for a minute."
Not reacting to your little laugh at the end, he replied- dull. "I didn't know it was yours, I would have given it to guest services if so."
Ouch, you're sure you're hurt expression was recognizable on the outside as much as it pained you on the inside. He really did not want to talk to you, even when you're showing your appreciation.
He really was over you.
"I know," you squeak out, not missing the way his eyes tiredly scanned your own as his body stood there stiff as ever. "I just wanted to thank you, that's all- you saved me a lot of trouble."
Coldly laughing from that, he nods. "I'm sure I have."
Your body tingled with rage as he carelessly ignored your warmth and threw jabs in return. "What's with the attitude? I'm doing nothing wrong here- I'm trying to be friendly."
Inching up, his face presents a sullen one and you immediately feel intimated by the height he owned and used as his advantage. Just the first few seconds before he spoke alone made you feel his displeasure. "And what about all those times I was friendly? I received shit so forgive me for allowing you to experience the same treatment you give others."
Loss for words, you were speechless and didn't know what to say back. For one, you were alarmed by his hard demeanor he gifted to you. Second, humiliation soared throughout as he called out your imperfections.
In other words, he wanted you to know you were a bitch.
"And I take that back but-"
Pedro was about to burst out laughing in front of your face, but he held himself together in sake of your feelings. Can you believe that, despite the misery he still cared for your state of mind. "Taking back isn't apologizing."
Sneering, you cross your arms as his eyebrows furrowed in irritation. "Apologize for what? You were the one who fucked my life over."
Scoffing, he shakes his head in vexation by your lack of empathy- as always. "Countless of times we would contemplate our faults and how we could move on and now you're discounting your wrongdoings- typical."
Pedro did not want to have another unpleasant argument with you, especially in a public setting again, and decided it was best to just walk away. If he kept his mouth shut, he wouldn't make this altercation worse.
Meeting his broad back, you lightly gasp as he ignores you altogether and makes his leave far too early for your liking. Charging towards him, you feel his back solidify once your fingers yank him to a halt.
You were not done with this conversation, but you did know once you got home you were definitely going to regret how toxic you were radiating in the room.
"Typical? What do you mean by that?"
"Knock it off and let me walk away, y/n," Pedro warns, still facing his back towards you after blocking your attempts of moving him. "We both know how badly this will end."
You know, but for some reason you don't want him to leave. Was that so bad?
"No, I wanna hear exactly what you have to say about me- maybe it'll make me recognize the ignorant ego I have."
"You're talking out in anger, you're trying to cause a fire that I won't let you ignite," he simply replies, his eyes still not found by his hidden appearance.
Very poetic.
Scowling profoundly, you don't realize what you're doing until you're finally met with his provoked display after. Stalking around his body, you stand in front of him and jab a finger towards his chest. "You're preventing me from bettering myself, isn't that what you always wanted?"
Leaning down until his face with inches away from yours, you make out his hard features clearly now. His face expressed discomfort as his eyes creased while lifting- even his lips stayed hard as a rock. "I'm going to tell you one more time, let me go."
Ignoring his cold shoulder, he inhaled a sharp breath before taking matters into his own hands. You don't want to listen? Fine. But he wasn't going to let you drag him into this any further.
Right as you push another finger up against him, your wrist was taken and roughly pushed down by your side as Pedro's body practically belted against yours. "Get off me!"
"Not until you stop fucking around," he grunted, immediately widening his eyes in realization. He knows you don't like when he casually curses directly to you- even when he doesn't harm. "Sorry- I-I meant when you stop playing around."
Praying that a smile doesn't escape you, it made you feel some type of way capturing his manners and how even though you two were on rocky terms- he still had some respect for you.
"Why are we even fighting right now?" you sigh, slowly softening your muscles in forfeit.
"You tell me- it sounds like you want my attention," he casually replied, releasing your hands and stepping back an inch. "Considering you won't let me leave."
"I'm just trying to have a normal, polite conversation! Is that so wrong?"
Softly laughing, he shakes his head in disappointment. "You don't get it."
Scrunching your face, you become lost by his words. "Get what?"
Scanning the wall before meeting your eyes again, Pedro motions his hands between the two of you. "What do you think will come out of us having a conversation? Acquaintances? Maybe a friendship?"
Thinking about it for a second, you feel your head eventually nod as he squeezes his eyes shut in return. Was that not what he's been trying to do- end in good terms? "It's what's healthy for us."
"Us?!" Pedro groans, sending you a tired gaze that had you weak to the knees. "There is no 'us' anymore. You made that perfectly clear after causing a scene last month in front of your friends."
"I didn't plan on that happening a-"
"I'm even letting go the bigger scene you caused inside the after party- isn't that enough to understand why I feel this way?" he adds on, frustrated that you would think otherwise.
You were the one who caused the attention and brought a bad look on his name. He should be shouting at you like you would have done to him if the roles were reversed.
"I'm not saying we should get back together, all I want-"
"-is a friendship? Some sort of relation that won't make us strangers?" he interjects, causing you to stay silent. That was all he needed to understand what you really wanted: not to let him go. "Look, we had our history, but I don't think it's good we keep in contact anymore."
You swear you felt all air leave your body as your face felt cold. Was he breaking up with you- in life itself?
"I-uhm don't- I don't understand," you cough, scared to make a bigger fool out of yourself. You're sure you probably look like a ghost by how much color you've lost since his recent reveal and again- you were grateful this room was dim. "Why can't we at least be friends? Not even that- why can't we at least know we have each other in our lives? Why end up as strangers?"
"What do you mean? We hadn't talked to each other in almost a year till last month! We basically are strangers," he exclaimed, causing you to look down at your feet as your heart ached.
He wasn't wrong- you just hadn't realized he's been right. And to blame was you, not him. You pushed him away in the first place, he was only kind enough to oblige.
And it was surely pathetic how now you wanted him back in your life, even if it meant not even talking just to assure yourself he still had your back.
He didn't.
"Y/n..." he sadly muttered, trying his best not to hurt your feelings as you were still continued to stay downwards- not wanting to disclose more hurt. "You didn't even say happy birthday to me, how can you be considered a friend? Friends don't do that, not to me at least."
This caused you to glance back up to him, disagreeing immediately as to what he was trying to get at. Of course you knew it was his birthday, you celebrated two with him in the past! "I didn't want to make things weird-"
"You never do but still avoid me like the plague and breakdown whenever I'm too close to your liking. I'm sorry for trying to do what's best and leave us in the past,-" he explains, closing his eyes in discomfort, "-but I can't keep letting this go on. I'm too old to be going back and forth as if this is some high school relationship- it's not."
High school relationship- you never knew simple three words could have you shrinking in guilt.
"And I know things will be easier for you when the time comes- I won't be around to nag you," Pedro tries to lighten up the mood but you can't break the line upon your lips. You were emotionless and it made Pedro upset.
Why would he be upset? You finally deserved learning your lesson after treating him as if he was nothing to you. But despite all your flaws, he still cared for you.
He cares so much that he's willing to let you go so you can do better things in life- without him.
Trying to find the right words to say, you give up. There isn't much to discuss now that he wants nothing to do with you.
You fucked up- for real this time.
In fact, you shouldn't even be hurt- you wanted this. Or at least that's what you thought before last month when he wasn't on your mind 24/7.
Maybe it was the way he begged for your forgiveness after not seeing each other for so long that made you realize how badly you adored him nearby.
Maybe it was the attention he was giving you after you continuously rejected his pleads, furthering the argument until he stormed off in the end.
And maybe you should've took his concluding estrangement announcement seriously before he left you last month.
But just like they say, you never know what you have until it's gone.
"I see," you quietly respond, slowly nodding as a faint grin forms among Pedro's lips, appreciating your cooperation over this mess. "Maybe it is best if we stray away from each other- you can even delete my number."
"I already have," he accidentally blurts out, not realizing how bad that sounds until he hears it himself and cringes. Your sufferable reaction didn't make things better.
"You know what," you fake a laugh, trying to calm your voice as you feel it about to crack any second. The tears were heading your way- you just knew it. "Fuck you."
Pedro's face falls, taken back by your inappropriate language. "Excuse me?"
Noticing your rushed attitude, he wanted to stop you and tell you everything was alright. That everything was going to be easy and how the two of you would get passed this.
But he knew he'd be lying.
"You heard me, fuck you," you casually slip out, scoffing as his eyes darken. "For someone who's so kind to others, I would have thought you would know what words were right to say."
"You're one to talk, sweetheart," he chuckled, staring at you in repulse. "Every time you talk you always have to neglect someone else, I'm fucking glad I don't have to witness that ever again."
"Me too, my family was right- you are a joke who wasted my time."
With that, you make your leave to have the chance of having the last word. Maybe if you left this room faster he would forget about your comment. You knew it was harsh but you didn't know what else to say.
You wanted him to hurt- but to what extent?
Your arm was instantly tugged as Pedro pulled you back, not letting his grip go as his face was still filled with resentment. "And your team was right, you are a bitch."
Freezing, you stare at him in shock as his face doesn't fall once. What the hell is he talking about? "Get away from me or else-"
"Or else what? Weren't you the one physically blocking me from leaving minutes ago? What has changed?" he tries to smirk, manipulating you into believing how ruthless he could be when really he was dying to tell you the act he was pulling. "Cat got your tongue?"
Your face felt hot with rage as you yanked your arm off his hand, catching him by surprise as you glared at him. "I'm so glad I never took you back, you're fucking pathetic."
"And I'm insanely glad you didn’t, saved thousands returning that fucking ring."
Those twelve words made you halt and even made Pedro speechless. By the staggered look planted on his face, you could tell he didn't mean to say that.
Ring? As in, an engagement ring?
Weakly failing to stand straight, you felt your voice crack. "You were going to propose?"
Shaking his head, he swiftly backed away. "I need to go." Before you could stop him, he was already out of the theatre and probably near larger gatherings of people that would only prevent you from talking about this more.
Holding your face with your hands, you couldn't even cry. You didn't know what to do, you were utterly lost for words.
If he was really going to propose like he hinted at, what meaning did your last fight have? Nothing made sense and you don't know how you could move on from this now that he wanted you out of his life completely.
Hearing doors open, you instantly averted your gaze in hopes he had come back in and planned to properly finish what he started.
Instead, you manager came barging in while gripping onto your assistant's wrist harshly.
"Where the hell have you been?! I've been looking for you everywhere and to find out your stupid assistant-"
"Don't you dare disrespect her," you sternly cut her off, watching as her face falters by your sudden tone. "If you're here to pester us some more, feel free to walk home."
Laughing in shock, your manager tilts her head at your rudeness. "Excuse me? It wasn't my fault your assistant wondered off. After everything I have done to protect you and your career you feel the need to throw me out-"
"Did she hurt you?" you cut her off, focusing on your assistant who has gone quiet. You notice the redness on her small wrists before she slowly nods, looking down in fear your manager would try something else.
"You're fired," you simply state, pushing past your frantic ex- manager as you lightly guide your assistant out the door.
You ignore the rage your ex- manager unveils as you make it back to the lobby. Ignoring the waves random people sent your way in hopes of finding your destined car sooner so you could help your assistant with her injuries and be home already.
And in bed to think about what the fuck just happened tonight.
+
tagslist: @d4rno @ddeonmixx @sloanexx @soilaluna @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @floralsightings @prettiestmark @queereddie @beltzboys2015-blog @valopz @thhriller @lovebynorth @tomorrowseverything @cheesemittens @jasminedragoon @prettyinpunk85 @marysucks-blog @iwillbiteabitch @daddy-din @blacklist07 @amberpanda99 @sciencebros1128 @jklkverr @nini123 @miss-goldenweek @pedropascalfan221 @sagggy @aphrcdites @spacelatinos4life @esstark @tongibatongi @maviee @gimalo135 @spicymochi15 @kittenlittle24
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krirebr · 11 months ago
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For Krismas - what would Steve have done in “What you can do for your country” if once reader found out whyyyy she was there she was totally into it?!?!?!
Ahahahahaha! I love this. Thank you!
Short answer: He'd be so annoyed.
Slightly longer answer:
(This has no title because the original title is from a JFK quote 😂 and I'm saving the rest of that quote for a hypothetical prequel I may write one day and I just couldn't make anything else work. I think it's fine, this is super short anyway.)
(This might be the most ridiculous thing I've ever written.)
Pairing: dark!Steve Rogers x f!reader
Warnings: references to noncon/dubcon, references to face slapping, references to kidnapping, explicit language, dacryphilia
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Your cheek stings so badly and Steve’s looking at you with this combination of menace and authority and you just can’t hold it in any longer. “Ohhhh,” you moan, “yeah, please. Hurt me, daddy.”
He stops cold, “What?”
“Come on, please. I need it. Please. You’ll make it hurt so good. Please, I want it!”
He stands up, aghast. “You want it???”
You’re a little confused now, not seeing what the problem is here. Maybe he just wants you to beg more. “Yeah, I want it. Come on, please. Please. I’ll make it so good.” You realize maybe the ‘daddy’ was the problem. That’s fine. You’re flexible. So flexible. “Please, Captain.”
“What the fuck!” he yells, pacing to the other side of the closet. “Why are you trying to ruin this for me??” he whines. 
“I’m saying I’m cool with it! It sounds great. Really good plan!”
“Shut the fuck up! I need to fucking think.”
You do as you’re told (see?! You’re so perfect for this!), and watch as he moves back and forth in the small space. Finally, he stops, takes out his phone, presses a few buttons, and holds it up to his ear. After a couple of moments, he speaks. “Buck! I need your help.” 
A pause while the other person speaks. “Yeah, I’m with her right now.”
Whatever Buck has to say has him shaking his head vigorously. “No! She’s not reacting right at all!” 
“Yes! I hit her in the face and gave the whole speech and do you know what she said to me? She said, ‘Hurt me, daddy!’ What the fuck?!”
A longer pause this time, and then he puts his free hand on his hip and says “No, Bucky, this is not a blessing in disguise! She was supposed to be afraid! And cry! That was 80% of the appeal. Not whatever this is!”
He throws a hand in the air. “I’m not kink-shaming!”
He’s pacing again, running a hand through his hair compulsively. “Do you think–” he starts and stops and tries again. “Do you think they’d let me give her back? And maybe get me a new one? – I don’t know. That girl at the floral shop is cute and small. I saw a customer make her cry once. Real pretty tears,” he says with a bit of a groan.
You pout, still chained to the corner. Sonuvabitch, you almost had it made.
Join my Krismas Party!
Tag lists are open
@stargazingfangirl18@drabblewithfrannybarnes @thezombieprostitute @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @bval-1 @km-ffluv @texmexdarling @ladyvenera
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lodisama · 2 years ago
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AEROKINESIS (x.t)
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jealous, frustrated xavier x f!reader
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summary: reader is in weathervane, and comes across tyler and they have a conversation. making xavier jealous of how close you two are, it ends to something you never expected tw: tyl*r g*lpin
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I breathe heavily, out of breath from my bike ride. I wasn’t in a hurry or anything. I just wanted to get to Weathervane before it rains. And it was starting to get gloomy. I don’t mind the rain, in fact I love it.
I practically escaped as soon as Nevermore’s school hours were done— And I might’ve left my friend alone, confused as to where I am now.
I park my bike next to the cafe’s glass window, making sure it doesn’t fall. I make my way to the glass door, the cold air hitting me. Immediately greeted by the usual barista, Tyler. “Good afternoo… Oh a Nevermore. Hi,” His voice falters when he lifts his face to see me. I don’t respond, given his reaction, instead i just went to a seat, at the very back, next to the window. I was the only one anyway.
I place a book on my table, clearly about to read it. I open it to the page I’m currently on. And that’s all I did, for the next five minutes, I consumed my brain with a book. Till I heard footsteps coming my way, I didn’t turn to it, I just waited for what he would say. “Is that Silvia Plath’s book?” The barista starts off.
“It’s clearly on the cover.” I say, obviously uninterested.
He hums, shifting. “Uh.. What can I get for you then?” He holds a pen and a tiny paper. I finally look up at him, seeing his brown curly locks and skinny body. I don’t think much of it. He did sound rude when he saw me come in. “Ice matcha, and a Banoffee pie. Put the pie on take out.” I listed. He nods writing everything down. “Alright, I’ll be with you in a sec.” He walks away to the kitchen door.
A few minutes later he came back with my order, an iced matcha on his hand, and a paper bag on the other. “Here you go, iced matcha, and your Banofee pie.” He smiles, placing the paper bag on my table. “Thank you.” I responded. I took the iced matcha and started mixing it. He just stayed there silently, looking like he wanted to say something to me. “I’m sorry for, uh—Sounding rude earlier, when you came in.” He points his thumb at the entrance door, stuttering through his words. I smile, finding it funny that he thinks it was a big deal. "Calm down, it's not a big deal." "Oh." Silence once again.
I love silences, if it were bad situations that is. Silence in conversations make me utterly uncomfortable. "Mind if i sit? My shift ends in 5 minutes." I stiffen at his debrief. I gulp, and nod. He smiles at this and he unties his apron. I gaze his actions, feeling somewhat uneasy and awkward. He folded it, and placed it on the table, sitting in front of me afterwards. I had both of my hands clasped under the table, waiting for anything to happen. He made himself comfortable, "So what kind of outcast are you?" He starts off again. "A wolf? Vampire, witch, telekinesis? What?" The curly haired, softly laughed. "Aerokinesis." I bluntly said. He stairs in confusion, waiting for me to explain.
"Never heard of that before," No shit. "I can manipulate wind. I can literally take your breath away." I laugh at my own joke. He did the same. It quickly stopped when my phone rang. Shit I whispered. I immediately grabbed my phone from my uniform pocket, the name caller displayed ‘xavier’. I answered immediately, not minding Tylers awkward stare. “Y/n, where the hell are you?” I was greeted by his furious tone. “Hello to you too Xavier,” I bite my lip, hoping he wasn’t mad, though I can already tell the pot’s boiling aggressively. "I've been looking everywhere for you, don't tell me you're by the lake again." The man sighs. " I'm at weathervane," My calm tone reassures him from his accusations of being by the lake. He wasn't really fond of the lake, due to being traumatized by the many unknown failures in the Poe Cup. He dropped the call when I had said where I was, common thing he does for no reason, though I don't find it rude. It was always one of his traits. I set my phone on the table, now looking at Tyler. His perplexed face made it hard for me to compose my laugh, I clear my throat. The rain started pouring loudly, the town looking dull and grey now.
"Want me to drive you to your creepy school? Looks like the rain's really gonna take its time." He bidded, his emerald eyes glistening with hope.
"Hmm.. I'd rather get wet in the rain, rather than be with a normie. Sorry." I shrugged, truly not sorry. This made him emmitt a chuckle. "Seriously? It's not like I'm the one whose a threat to people with her bizarre "super power". " He joked, causing me to smile. I shake my head "Good one, but I'm powerful as I am." I take a sip of my iced matcha, I accidentally turned my eyes at Tyler, for a good long while. He shakes his head, smiling like an idiot. "You weren't wrong when you said you take peoples breath away. No pun intended."
I huff out a laugh, not entertaining his statement. “I’ve heard that one too often” He shakes his head, looking down at his hands. “Hey, there’s a dance this weakened, do you maybe wanna—“ “She has a date.” I turn my head to Xavier’s tall figure. “Xavier,” I stood up, looking at his figure from head to toe. “You’re soaking wet.” His hair drenched, clothes all drowning in water. “Oh… Uh, my apologies, didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”
“Friend.” I corrected.
“Okay, that’s enough. Let’s go, Y/n.” His voice in a low and serious tone. I mumble a quiet Okay in embarrassment, knowing Tyler was watching all of this happen. I grab my things, including the paper bag with the Banofee pie inside. It was for him.
I take a hold of his hands, letting him drag me wherever he wants. He dragged me outside the cafe, with Tyler all alone to fend off his thoughts. He lead me to my bike, which was next to his, and I didn’t even notice it, or his presence. The rain just kept getting louder, the bike was no use.
Xavier was silent the whole time, though his demeanor was loud enough to speak for him. He noticed I was miserably staring at my bike, not sure what to do since the rain really did everything it could to prevent me from using it.
“Leave it. We can go grab it tomorrow.” He softly said, but his tone was rather harsh. I hummed, non-verbally saying okay. He takes my hand, pulling me close to his body. My face becomes hard like stone, unable to move. My face turning crimson red.
“ ‘Friend’, really?” He practically shouts over the loud noise of the rain.
My head tilts up, perplexed. “What?” I say in the same volume as his words.
“Am I just a friend to you?”
“What do you mean?” His grip on my hand tightens.
A punch of realization hits my senses hard. “I—I’m sorry, I thought—“ I pause each word. What am I supposed to say now? He lowers his head to me. “Have I really not showed you enough? Or do I have to say it to your face?” He whispered. The rain was loud to silence both of our voices, but somehow, I heard him loud and clear.
My eyes flutter, my words tied in a knot. I swallow a limp in my throat. We were inches apart, the hesitation blocking the moment.
His eyes, those eyes— They were on mine, and so are mine. His other hand that wasn’t occupied by our tangled hands, made its way to my cheek. I didn’t even realize that the rain painted itself on my face till he touched them. Caressing it around my cheek to disappear.
Now this type of silence is what I love. Our silence. His lips slowly opened, it closes again. “I… like you, Y/n. You have no idea.” His face softens, as my whole body bursts in the flames. I couldn’t contain my happiness, and I leaned in. Our lips felt like they were made for each other. The warmth of his, and the coldness of mine felt good.
It took him a second to respond, but when he did, another flame was set ablaze. I didn’t think his grip on my hand could get tighter but it did. My free hand held his chest for support as his height was too much for me.
What felt like eternity finally came to an end when he broke the kiss. His warm hand still on my cheek, caressing it once more. “You take my breath away.” When he was the one who says it, it felt right and belonging.
“I like you too Xavier.” I smiled, and so did he.
The hand that was on my cheek, slowly made its way to my hair. He tugs it behind my ear. A kiss on my forehead being the cherry on top.
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authors note: this is cringe but i kind of love the idea of tyler just watching this at the window lmao
also 2k on my first post??? thank you so much ohmygod
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ssa-atlas-alvez · 2 years ago
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cowboy!reader likes pop music I've decided. he also drives a truck that looks like it's a fossil yet runs perfectly fine. he knows about horses and will try to talk about old wild west movies whenever. definitely loved woody from toy story as a kid. 1000% baby talks dogs. goes to pride parades in full colorful cowboy outfit. can do bird calls back. stress eats sunflower seeds instead of smoking. the list of ideas goes on really
- 🦦
More (Not) Allergies
Okay, so I've only focused on the pop music for this one. Also it directly follows from 'Alergies (Not Really)' (which wasn't titled earlier but it was the one with Mia in). But I do have them all noted down (I'm working on the sunflower seeds on at the moment).
EDIT: Sunflower seeds one is now done and available here
Warnings: minor sad reader
Word count: 621
PART ONE
Taglist: @xweirdo101x @xdark-acadamiax @ara-a-bird @heidss @chubbyboyinflannel @pendragon-writes @migwayne @bigolgay @technikerin23
"Hey, where's your cattleman?" Spencer asked as you sat down in your usual seat. 
"I er, I need to find a new one."
"Did you lose it? We've probably got time to find it before we take off-" Spencer said, already starting to stand up.
"Nah, I didn't lose it. I gave it to Mia," You said. "I'll go lookin' for a new one tomorrow,"
"Isn't that your favourite one?" JJ asked, turning to you.
"Yes ma'am," You answered, 
“Wait, is this the one you wouldn’t let any of us try on?” Derek asked, looking up from his ipod.
“That would be the one,” You said with a small nod.
“Oh man, you must be getting withdrawal,”
“A little,” You joked. "She's a special kid. Plus, I think she might’ve tried to steal it off me anyway. Y’know she called me old? Three times? Imma spring chicken,"
"I don't know about that," Emily teased, "You're nearly thirty,"
"'Scuse me ma'am, Imma spring chicken."
When the conversation dialled down, you sighed slightly, sliding your hands into your pocket out of boredom. You furrowed your eyebrows when your fingers brushed against a small chain. You gently removed it from your pocket.
"Where'd you get that chain?" You asked, seeing Mia fiddle with it, running her fingers along the links. 
She shrugged, "I found it on the floor a few years ago," 
"'s pretty," You commented, she looked at you in disbelief. "What?"
"I wore it once, it turned my skin green," 
"Maybe you're just a zombie." You said with a shrug
"Rich coming from you old man."
"Hey, you okay?" You look up at JJ in confusion and she motioned to your eyes, red and brimmed with tears.
"Oh, yeah," You clear your throat wiping your eyes slightly, "Allergies."
She has a knowing look on her face, but goes along with it. "Allergies are the worst,"
"Tell me about it." You muttered. 
"But," She whispered, despite the team chatting amongst themselves, "If you are… upset or concerned about anything, I'm always here if you want to talk about it." 
You pause for a moment, brushing your thumb against the chain as you frowned. "I-" You paused, "I dunno," You stuff the chain into your pocket as you looked at JJ, giving her a small smile. "'M fine," You gave her a nod, "Just missing ma cattleman, is all," 
"Uh-huh," JJ said with a raised eyebrow before she gave you a small smile, dropping the subject (not wanting to push you). "Alright, well, I believe we are all going for drinks, you should join us."
You look unsure for a moment before nodding, "A'right," You said, "Just don't tell my Mama I'm getting drunk,"
“Ooo cowboy’s finally gonna get drunk?” Derek asked with a grin, “How about you sing some good ol’ country music for us?”
“It’s gonna take a lotta shots to get to that point,” 
“Well, we have tomorrow off,” Rossi smirked. 
God damnit. 
“Y’all do know I don’t just listen to country, right?”
“Yeah, okay,” Emily grinned, “What else do you listen to?”
“I started listenin’ to er, what’s her name?... Arianna Grande, she’s a’right,” You said with a nod, furrowing your eyebrows as the team all let out a laugh (minus Spencer, who was just a bit confused). “What?”
“You listen to Arianna Grande?”
“She’s good!” You argue, “N’ she hits the whistle tones well. I listen to Dua Lipa ‘n’ Selena Gomez sometimes too,”
“Oh my god…”
“What?”
“You have the music taste of a teenage girl!” Derek snorted loudly.
“JJ, defend me here,” You said, turning to JJ.
“Sorry cowboy,” She teased, “They’re right…” You groaned, letting your head fall to the back of your seat. 
“God damnit.”
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Absolutely you should add smut were all whores here
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"Hooked"
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Sorry been really busy and I am still very busy and ai hate it so much cause I don't have the energy to write anymore after a shit ton of work and sleepless nights just to meet the deadline. Anyways, I will try to do the requests, enjoy ✌️
Hope you lot understand, sorry. 😔
Warning: smut (you already know)
Idk what is in here cause I didn't proof read, hope the wait was worth it tho? Don't come at me, I just wanted to get a fic out cause I've been dry the last few weeks. Enjoy ✌️
I always noticed Arthur's brother, Charles, would always stare at me when he gets the chance, especially when visiting tutur at the f2 paddock. He wasn't really like this back then, but then again, I had a massive glow up, my ass is big, hair fluffy, face of an angel, and body sculpted by the Gods to be perfect for any man. During our earlier days, Charles never reqlly paid me any attention, apart from the occasional hi and hello, nothing. He would just walk past without even a glance. But now, it seemed that every chance he got, he would stare at me and sometimes bite his bottom lip and give me those "I'm gonna fuck you 'til you beg me to stop" eyes.
Like right now, I feel a pair of eyes burning through the back of my head as I walked with Arthur to the ferrari hospitality. Without looking back I already knew who it is, and being the brat I am, I decided to be a little shit and put on a show. Accidentally dropping my wallet as I pulled it out of the pocket of my jeans that hugs my ass way too tight. Making sure I bend over more than required to get the wallet, and continue walking as if nothing happened.
After Arthur won his first race of the season, I couldn't contain my excitement, I jumped on him my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his neck and giving him little kisses on his cheeks.
"Oh my god, I'm so proud of you tutur."
I basically shouted at him so he could hear me over the noise of his team celebrating.
"Merci, couldn't done it without you flaunting your ass at my brother the whole day."
He said with a laugh as he urged me to get off him. He looked behind me and smacked my ass and laughing harder as I let out a small squeak.
"Looks like someone wants to celebrate with you."
He said close to my ear as he turned me around only to be met by Charles gaze that had a glint of something. I looked up at him with innocent eyes.
"Hi."
I said as I turned back around.
"I will spoon feed you your own shit."
I said to Arthur, trying to sound menacing but he just laughed.
"Arturooo!"
Charles said as he hugged Arthur.
"Can I borrow y/n for a moment?"
"Hehe just return him before the party."
"Of course."
"Huh? D-don't I get a say in this??"
I asked confused as Arthur just laughed as Charles dragged me somewhere.
"W-where are we going? And what exactly d-do you need me for?"
I asked nervously as his gripped tightened.
"I had a shitty race unlike Arthur, and I need you to help me with it."
He said nonchalantly as we arrived at his motor home, he pushed me in before getting in himself, he locked the door.
"A-and h-how wou-"
I couldn't finish my sentence as he pulled me to him and attached his lips to mine, kissing desperately as if it was his last day on earth. He pushed me against the door his hands tapped my thighs, urging me to jump. I obeyed and jumped, his strong arms holding me up as my legs wrapped around his waist and my hands that were feelings his biceps now pulling at his hair and clawing on his back, drawing groans from him. Biting and licking my bottom lip his gripped tightened on my thighs causing me to moan against his lips. His tounge entering my mouth with no warning, our tounges now dancing a ballad of groans and moans. Our kiss getting more desperate and sloppy by the second due to the lack of oxygen catching up to us. We pulled from each other, foreheads resting against the other and thin string of saliva attaching our lips.
"Let's go to my hotel room, it's better."
He said between heavy breathed as he put me down, but I leaned on him heavily almost falling as my legs seemingly turn to jelly.
"I didn't know you liked me?"
I asked surprised.
"You're the only outlet available."
He said with a laugh.
"But you might just be the best one yet."
As we arrived in his hotel room, he locked the door and put the do not disturb sign on the outside knob.
"What n-"
He attacked my lips again before I could finish my sentence.
"Now, you're going to be a good boy and listen and do everything I tell you."
He said as he pulled back, his hands on my cheeks.
"O-okay."
"Good, now get on the bed and undress for me."
I obeyed, getting on the bed and undressing 'til I'm naked.
"You were always my favourite, y/n."
"Huh?"
"Among all of Arthur's friends, you were always my favourite, did you know that?"
He asked as he got on top of me now only in his boxers. He body looked heavenly, his abs, his biceps, everything made me want to go feral. To lick his muscles after a gym session or after racing, to taste the saltiness of his sweat against tounge. To see him breathing heavily as he looks at me with tired eyes, to hear him say my name in a breathy whisper.
My thoughts got cut off by his mouth on my neck, kissing, biting and licking, leaving marks.
"I always thought you'd taste good. Addicting."
He mumbled against my neck, as his actions became rougher I began to squirm, trying to push him off, the pleasure becoming overwhelming.
"Ngh~ mhmmm~ no, s-stop. Please."
"I would stop, amour, but your moans decieve you. Do you really want me to stop?"
He asked as he began to pull away but not before biting hard.
"Mmm~ ngha n-no."
I said as my squirming slowed down, missing his mouth on my neck, missing his bites I pulled at his neck.
"You can try all you want, you won't win, y/n."
He said is a breathy voice as he continued to resist my pull.
"I'm going to fuck you raw, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"
He whisper against my ear as he bit it.
"Y-yes."
"Good boy."
He began to remove his boxers, I looked down excited to see what I would need to fit in. My eyes widened and I let out an involuntary moan as I saw his size. Very thick, with prominent veins and atleast 9 inches.
"Y-you're gonna kill me."
I said, now afraid of what would happen once the behemoth is burried in me.
"You can take it, and you will."
He said with a laugh as he spread my legs even more and grabbing the lube from the bedside drawer. He covered his fingers with the lube and putting one in me slowly, drawing moans from me. A second one went in and he started scissoring, the burning sensation slowly disappearing as he put in a third.
"Please, n-need you."
I said sounding desperate with my eyes closed and biting my lip.
"Are you sure?"
He asked sounding worried.
"Y-yes, f-fuck me, please."
I said as I began to squirm.
"Fine."
He covered his cock in obscene amounts of lube, hopefully enough. He got on top of me as he lined his cock with my hole, the head slowly going him, the burning, stretching sensation coming back worse. My hands fly to his back, pulling him to lay on me and clawing at him. He groaned as he felt the pain on his back and he slowly went deeper, we were both our of breathe now and he wasn't even half in.
"F-fuck, my self controll is not that strong, I'm seconds away from just fuck, just slamming into you."
He said against my ear, hot breathes fanning over.
"I-i-i don't m-mmmind."
I said with a chuckled as my legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him in further.
"You m-make me lose myself. Fuck"
He slammed into me without any more warning, I scream at the top of my lungs. He groaned as my clawing got more erratic, I felt something sticky on my fingers as I continued clawing. His groans became more frequent as he pulled back slowly and ramming back in.
"F-fuck, ngha."
He groaned as he bit my neck hard, leaving bite marks.
"P-please, f-fuck."
I couldn't finish a sentence nor a single thought as my mind short malfunctioned. Tears flowed freely from my eyes and he stayed still for a bit, catching his breath.
"You okay?"
He whispered in my ear.
"Mmmngh"
"I'll say, you're fine then."
He said with a laugh as he started to pull out, and go back in slowly. Slowly gaining more force and speed until he was just ramming into me, the bed squeaking after every thrust. He head burried in my neck, biting and leaving my, his hands exploring the sides of my body. My hands still clawing at his back, earning a groawn each time. My legs wrapped tightly around his waist.
"I don't w-we can make it f-for Arthur's p-party."
He said with a breathy chuckle as his assault on my ass did not ease a bit.
"Mmngg mmm ngh"
I could not form coherent words or anything, my mind completely blank apart from him, the feeling of him, the taste of him every about him. My body is tired, but he doesn't seem the least bit tired.
"F-fuck, I'm gonna cum."
He groans as his pace became more erratic, sweat dropping from his hair onto the sheets as he bit my neck, earning a moan from me. Our bodies sliding past the other. His hair sticking to his forehead, his back now slippery, my hands slide down, struggling to hold on. He let out small hisses of pain, due to the sweat coming in contact with the marks on his back.
"F-fuuuck"
He came deep inside me, burrying his face on my neck and biting roughly, with the last amount of energy I had left, my body began squirming trying to push him away, but he was much stronger he held my hands down and grinded his him against my, drawing out the pleasure. I felt his cum dripping out of my hole while he's still inside. By this time I already came more than 4 times, the feel of his cock pulsing inside me brought me unfathomable amounts of pleasure, knowing I'm the one he's with the one he's fucking.
"We need to do this again."
"Mmm"
"You do know, when I said again, I mean right now, right?"
He said with a laugh as his cock stayed hard inside me, after a few seconds he began to move again. Starting slow, my mind numb and body tired I couldn't do anything but let him, as he continued biting and licking my neck, my hand going up to his hair and stroking it.
"Y-you can say no if you don't want to anymore."
I don't what came over me, but my energy suddenyl came back after his words.
"You won't last as long as me, Leclerc."
I pushed him off me and made him lay on the bed as I began to ride him.
"You can try, but you won't succeed."
I said as I leaned down and made my marks on him.
"We both know, you just want to fuck me, but I'll have you hooked."
Idk what I wrote, cause half of this shit didnt get save so I had to rewrite, hope you enjoyed it ✌️
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izzysillyhandsy · 1 year ago
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It is finally time for me to try writing about The Scene.
There's so much happening and changing within seconds. I feel that the whole history of Edward and Izzy is played out here, for (from their point of view) the last time.
We start off with Ed waking Izzy up, taking out his pistol (to Izzy's confusion) and then handing it to Izzy.
They are close, Ed is calm and fully in the moment. It is such an intimate moment, the way Ed tilts his head down in line with the pistol, never breaking eye contact.
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And Izzy, who at first was trying to fend Ed off, now looks at him like this:
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What is actually going on here? It seems like a return to something they've done before, like a memory of a tender moment. Of course, this is right after Ed tells Iz about the dream. Maybe it's just the closeness, or the fact that this must be the first moment in forever where Izzy is the sole focus of Ed.
But I feel that there is a story there, something in their past that makes Izzy - what is it - happy? Nostalgic? Regretful? I don't see turned on here, it's much softer than that.
"Good for you." (slightly sneering) "It was good for me." (completely sincere)
You don't need me to tell you this has more than one meaning.
Ed touches Izzy's hand as he stands up, "It was just what the doctor ordered."
The first half ends - these were the good times. Spending time together with weapons aimed at each other :). I think this was when both were young and relatively innocent, when life was exciting and the two of them were best friends, possibly even closer than that.
But now the second half starts.
"Anyway, it wasn't even like that."
Also has a double meaning.
"No, in my dream - I was standing. Just like this."
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Ed turns his back to Izzy, making this an execution instead of an act of intimacy.
Izzy first raises the pistol, laughs brokenly and desperately. It feels like this was also a situation they'd both been in before. The laugh sounds like "No, we're not doing this. Once was enough."
I think a similar scene happened when they were young, and the next bit strengthens this theory for me.
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Izzy puts his hand over half his face, his voice changes and he calls Ed "Eddie" for the first and only time in the show:
"Oh, you're scared, Eddie? To sc- to scared to do it yourself?"
Hornigold also calls Ed "Eddie", and I think Izzy is kind of channeling Hornigold here. Maybe, back on Hornigold's ship, Ed was ordered to execute someone and couldn't. And maybe Izzy had to do it for him. Maybe Izzy had to do lots of traumatizing things for Ed. Maybe the person executed was someone Izzy and/or Ed cared about. And maybe Ed started to resent Izzy for it. The way Ed is spreading his arms out, the way it seems almost staged - it's like Ed is saying "kill me like you killed him".
OR maybe this is how Izzy pep-talked Ed into becoming Blackbeard, which would be much darker (and harder for me as an Izzy apologist). But Izzy telling Stede that Ed's complete breakdown is like 50% his fault may point to events in the past where Izzy thought he had to push Ed into the Kraken-zone to secure their and their crew's survival. Maybe he did this often, especially at the beginning of their Blackbeard fuckery.
What is remarkable though is that Izzy hides his face with his hand, then forces out the words, almost choking on them. This clearly has importance and history - nothing so far in the whole show was forced out so violently - so I am heavily leaning towards a traumatic experience for Ed and Izzy both. It definitely crashes Izzy down from his nostalgia-high real quick.
Now Izzy's voice changes back to his own, but he speaks really fast and without inflection, trying to get everything over with:
"Go on clean up your own fucking mess I'm not doing it I've been doing it all my fucking life."
(without thanks I might add)
"Fuck off."
Izzy's finally, finally had enough.
Ed acknowledges, resignedly, and leaves. I think he expected it to go this way.
Izzy shoots himself. I think Ed also expected this.
Ed says he loved him best he could. It's over. He goes to his own death.
This scene is only a few minutes long, but as I said in the beginning, I think they're reliving their whole relationship here, first the good times (which are quickly devalued - "But it wasn't even like that") and the bad times (I did this for you, but for nothing - "Fuck off").
As Ed says to Frenchie, he's had closure with Izzy. He's shown him what it was like for him. Izzy's also had closure with Ed. From now on, Ed has to carry the weight of his decisions himself.
Both die.
(and then both indestructible fuckers come back)
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moonstrider9904 · 6 months ago
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Pretty Thoughts
Part 3 of the Urban Flora mini series
Part 1 | Part 2 | Cross-posted to AO3 | Series Masterlist
Summary: You awaken to two truths - you are unmistakably in love with Crosshair, and you are both the main story on a popular gossip blog. Although this screams destruction for your reputation, what if it's a blessing in disguise?
Tags: Smut (18+ only), alcohol consumption, gossip, confrontation, female masturbation, vaginal sex, oral sex, creampie
Word count: 5.7k
Playlist: Pretty Thoughts by Alina Baraz
A/N: I've had the most fun writing and posting this series! Thank you to everyone who's read, commented, and shared! You are all the best. I hope you like the ending to this mini-series!
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The nearly incessant beeping from your holopad woke you up after a night of heavy sleep. You were in that stage between your dreams and consciousness where you were just starting to make sense of things, and you reached to your nightstand for your holopad as you let out a groggy groan. When you unlocked it, your eyes widened at the screen, disregarding its glow on your pupils.
You had over 200 notifications among your messages and socials, and you quickly decided that couldn't be good.
You sat up on your bed and turned on your lamp - the sun was just beginning to rise outside, and the blinds in your bedroom blocked most of whatever light could come in anyways. You crossed your legs and held your holopad in front, and you opted to check your direct messages from any friends. First, you checked the messages from your closest friend, Pen, whom you rarely saw, but you could always confide in, and your heart nearly leapt from your chest when you saw the picture of Crosshair wearing the outfit he had on the day before, looking at the camera with a hint of confusion, but still composed and handsome as he normally was, and you recognized the area he was standing in as the street just outside the motel you had visited the day before.
Below the image, Pen's text read: Daaayum! Are all clones this fine? Why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone?
You closed out of her conversation and went onto your ongoing conversation with a different friend, Eloise, the daughter of the Senator from Corellia: Heads up, you and your mystery man made it to Scandal Gal.
Below, she had attached the full screenshot of the blog post, and below Crosshair’s picture, you read the caption:
Wakey wakey, high society: Sweetie's mystery man appears to be a silver fox dream. My sources say he was spotted entering a hotel with Sweetie and then leaving it, with our damsel of the moment seen leaving earlier than him, apparently glowing. While we may be left to fantasize about the happenings within the motel's walls, what I'm more interested to know is if this handsome young soldier is willing to introduce any of his brothers to us poor, starving gals. Consider me first in line.
With your heart pounding in your chest, you did what you knew you shouldn't have done and went over to Scandal Gal's blog and read the comments, though to your surprise, none of the comments were dragging you. You'd half expected to be called a slut by every commenter, but most of the thirsty girls in the blog were fawning at how handsome Crosshair was. You didn't particularly like a horde of girls digitally cat-calling your man, but you preferred that over a ruined reputation.
Overnight, you had become a phenomenon. What started as a picture with a few comments speculating about your encounter at the opera was now a full-fledged story that easily hundreds of people around the east side of Coruscant were following. You read multiple comments talking wonders about Crosshair, others talking wonders about you, very many admiring your relationship and how attractive you both looked together—and a few comments here and there dragging you and/or Crosshair, as expected, but overall, you and Crosshair had taken over the holonet for all the right reasons.
You wanted to laugh, but a part of it freaked you out as well. You’d never made a high profile of yourself. You’d always enjoyed your spoils in life in as private a way as possible, and the few times you’d actually made it to Scandal Gal had been because a dress you wore somewhere was beautiful, not because of your love life.
And only then, it hit you—did Crosshair know about this? And if he did, how would he take it?
Catastrophizing wouldn’t get you anywhere. You got up from your bed and put on your bathrobe, which rested on the armrest of the cozy chair next to your bed. You opened the blinds of your bedroom and took a moment to admire the Coruscant skyline with the sun making its way up the sky, dancing with a few clouds against the light blue hue. You exited your bedroom and headed past your living room with your holopad in hand, towards the kitchen to brew your coffee. As the coffee brewed, you opened the blinds to the rest of your apartment and basked in the morning peace far away from any whispers of scandal that lived in your holopad. You figured that was the bright side of it all—whether it was good talk or bad talk, it only lived in your holopad, and it wasn’t going to make its way into your calm morning.
The calm was interrupted when the door to your apartment flew open, and your mother seemed to glide inside, letting the door close behind her. Her eyes scanned the apartment until they found you, and you couldn’t decide if she was angry at you or not. At the sight of you, your mother sighed—even in her apparent disappointment, which you wouldn’t pretend not to know the cause of, your mother had a regal stance worthy of the senator of Coruscant, with her dark beige suit and her expertly done hair; even her floral scent that commanded respect.
You tried to be as nonchalant as possible, gesturing at the coffee brewer with your hand and raising your eyebrows. Your mother sighed again and shook her head, and instead, she gestured with her chin at the holopad that rested on your counter.
“Have you opened that thing this morning?” She asked you.
“Yes,” you uttered.
“Darling, what were you thinking?” Your mother now seemed more worried than angry at you. “Do you at least know this man well enough?”
“Well enough to know I’m head over heels for him,” you admitted.
“And then there’s that ridiculous gossip site,” your mom continued. “I tell myself it’s no big deal, just a little source of entertainment for spoiled rich teens with nothing better to do, but I can’t fathom the fact that now they’re picking on you. I’m too nervous to read any of the posts or the comments thinking about all the horribly unkind things everyone’s sharing about you… people can be so cruel.”
You sighed. “I know, but, Mom… as far as I’ve checked, the things Scandal Gal and the readers are saying aren’t that bad…”
“Meaning?” She inquired.
You couldn’t help but chuckle. “They love him. They’re saying he’s devastatingly handsome and fawning over him, some of them even want to go stand outside the clone bar to see if they can get boyfriends.”
“But what are they saying about you?” She asked.
“I’m a hero. They like my dress, the scarf I wore, and the man I’m with. I think there’s an ongoing wager as to whether or not I’ll marry him,” you delivered blankly.
Your mother’s eyes widened, and you held in your laughter at her reaction.
“Mom, relax,” you said. “I’m not saying I will. But I do really like him. And all things considered, I expected mayhem, and even if there are a few mean things here and there, they don’t compare to how good most of the responses are.”
“That’s rare,” your mother admitted. “And I suppose you’re right, you can’t control what everyone says.”
“And I won’t try to,” you agreed. “I’m just saying it could be a lot worse and if it’s not as bad as I thought it could be, I’m gonna embrace it.”
For a split second, your mother looked at you in plain disbelief. Regardless, she sighed, straightened her back, and gathered herself, and she met your gaze again with understanding.
“Alright, now tell me, who is this man?” She asked.
“He’s the sniper who took out the assassin who tried to kill the Chancellor,” you said as you poured your cup of coffee.
Your mom raised her eyebrows. “Oh.”
“Oh?” You raised your eyebrows too, pouring another cup for your mother.
“I met him at the start of the opera,” she explained. “I even invited him to our box, but he said he already had one, he didn’t want to refuse it and seem rude.”
“Yeah, he was invited because of his efforts,” you said. “In fact, I… I met him during the final intermission at the opera. We got to talking and he’s just… fascinating.”
Those were all the details you’d give to your mother about that night.
Your mother’s demeanor seemed to soften as she drank from the coffee you’d given her. With a soft exhale, she set the cup down on the counter and pressed her hands together in front of her chest, avoiding your gaze for a few moments.
“Sweetie, I don’t want you to think I’m exploiting your relationship with this man,” she began.
You tilted your head. That was one of the last things you’d expected her to say.
She then met your gaze. “But this is actually a very good look.”
“What, for you?” You asked.
Your mother chuckled. “I have spent months collaborating with Senator Chuchi to pass a clone rights bill. When your… boyfriend…”
You chuckled. “Crosshair.”
She nodded slowly. “Right. When Crosshair saved the Chancellor’s life, we got a lot more support, but we’re not quite there yet. Too many people view the clones as vessels bred for combat, not as actual human beings with human emotions and human needs. And, as triumphant as Crosshair was in saving the Chancellor, his effort was still that of a soldier, hence why we’re, as I said…”
“Not quite there yet,” you continued. “And… you think that if I’m public with him, so public that people are talking about relationships and gossiping like they do with anyone else in our society, he’ll look more human.”
“And by extension, the rest of the clones,” your mother added. “It just might shift the tide in favor of finally giving them some more rights.”
You smiled softly and took another ship of your coffee. “I love the sound of that. I just don’t know how I feel about scheming regarding Crosshair.”
“Be honest with him, then,” your mother suggested. “If you’re not on board, be as private as you possibly can, I won’t hold it against you. It was just an idea. And now that I think about it…”
You looked up at her again, waiting for what else she had to say.
“We do have that art gala coming up tonight,” she suggested. “Why don’t you invite him?”
You nodded slowly. “I’ll ask him. I wouldn’t mind getting all fancy and seeing him, but for starters, he needs to want to go.”
“He went to the opera, didn’t he?”
“Well, yes, but that was an invitation of honor,” you answered. “And he didn’t seem like a fish out of water, but I can’t help thinking this just isn’t what he’s used to.”
Your mother gazed at you sincerely. “Don’t you cage him into the label of a soldier, too. If you like this man and you want to be with him, you’re going to have to realize he’s more than that.”
You raised both of your brows. You knew she was right, and to have heard that coming from your mother, it meant volumes. You barely ever approached what she did inside the senate, but you pondered on how much her words made sense based on what little she’d shared with you about her efforts with the Pantoran senator. And even if she wasn’t trying to pass a clone rights bill, she was still right—Crosshair was a living, breathing man, and even though you knew he was a soldier, you hadn’t met him as such. You’d seen him at a high society gathering over drinks. You’d shared coffee and bantered with him, kissed him under the rain, made love to him time and time again until you couldn’t get him out of your thoughts.
As soon as your mother left, you reached for your holopad and ignored the multiple notifications you had, heading straight for Crosshair’s frequency number and typing out your message at least three times before sending it, trying to find the most chill way to invite him to the art gala. You sent the message and waited for the reply, frantically scurrying to your holopad anytime it vibrated. For a while, he didn’t answer, and before you lost hope, you finally saw the notifications coming in from Crosshair.
Can’t resist another little encounter with me, can’t you, Sweetie?
You chuckled, but you felt nervous at the same time. That obviously meant he’d been, in some way, exposed to Scandal Gal too.
How fancy do I have to dress? His next message came in shortly after.
You chuckled at your phone and typed back: Fancy enough to knock everyone dead.
Instantly, Crosshair replied: ’Kay. I’ll be there.
After you texted him all the details of the event, you went about your day with a twinge of excitement sprinkled over your every move. The sun made its way around the sky until it was time for you to get ready for the event, and for this occasion, you chose a dark purple dress paired with long black gloves and no necklace, since you’d be wearing your hair down your shoulders. The dress’s top had a black ribbon outlined in the shape of a triangle, with the base at your waist, and it was filled with discreet black sequins. On the right shoulder, where the dress’s top met your sleeve, you placed a dark gray brooch that your mother had given you on your eighteenth birthday, and looking at yourself in the mirror, you were almost ready to go. You did your makeup and grabbed your purse, and then you went out the door to the nightlife of Coruscant, where your mother was already waiting at the bottom of the building with a vehicle.
Your pulse was racing for the whole ride, knowing you would meet Crosshair there. You clutched your purse with both hands over your pressed thighs, and you could feel beads of sweat forming in your palms, having to take deep breaths from time to time to keep yourself steady. The vehicle finally arrived at the gala and parked just in front of the red carpet you were meant to walk on, and only then it dawned on you that multiple pairs of eyes thirsting for scandal would be on you. But you wouldn’t back out, not now, not when you were the very image of elegance in society about to meet with your Silver Fox Dream, as Scandal Gal had put it.
You resolved to knock them all dead too.
The door on your side of the vehicle was opened by an usher, and you stepped out, straightening your posture and taking in the scenery of flashing cameras and excited partygoers, and confident as you looked, your heartbeat hadn’t calmed down in the slightest. You looked around, scanning for the only person you were interested in seeing.
And soon enough, your eyes landed on him. His attire was possibly better than the one he wore the night of the opera, with a slim fit pitch-black suit and shirt, adorned with a burgundy vest under the coat, and rich red rose in his breast pocket. Crosshair’s watchful eyes gazed back at you, and as you remained still in front of your vehicle while your mother got out, Crosshair made his way to you, letting you behold every detail on him as he got closer to you, and when he was finally right in front of you, you took in all of him.
Crosshair was strikingly debonair, undeniably gorgeous, charming in his pride and confidence. He even smelled incredible. His tall figure seemed to loom protectively over you, complimenting your lack of height when you stood next to him, and you both made such a perfect pair you almost hoped that gossiping teenage girls were in proximity to behold your beauty, perhaps even eat their hearts out as a treat for you.
“Miss,” Crosshair greeted as he took your hand and brought it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss to your knuckles.
His gentle kiss ignited every inch of your skin as you briefly remembered the moments of passion you’d already shared with that man. You gave him a demure smile, taking one step closer to him, wishing with every fiber of your body to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss not unlike the one you’d had under the rain the day before, but perhaps it wasn’t the time or place for such a public display. Moreover, as Crosshair was lowering your hand down from his gesture, your mother exited the vehicle and appeared at your side, smiling at Crosshair.
He acknowledged her and gave her the hint of a smile, taking a slight bow. “Ma’am.”
He held out his hand, offering her the chance to be greeted in a similar way as you, and to your surprise, your mother obliged.
“It’s wonderful to see you again,” your mother said to him. “I didn’t know you’d met my daughter until this morning.”
“She’s a wonderful lady, ma’am,” Crosshair responded without a hint of hesitation or insecurity.
You were in awe at how easily he was getting along with your mother as the two continued to make small conversation, and soon enough, your mom went ahead and entered the building, with you and Crosshair following behind, your arm linked in his. Camera flashes on you weren’t scarce, and in the distance, you could hear high-pitched cries of “There they are!” and “They’re so hot together!”
You couldn’t help but laugh softly at yourself.
“Basking in your triumph?” Crosshair broke the silence between you.
“What do you mean?” You asked.
“That was a bold move, inviting me here, introducing me to your mother,” he continued, his features holding the sternness they usually did, but you picked up on no disgust on his behalf.
“Yeah, well…” You said. “Overnight, we kind of became public figures, you and me. There’s this gossip site that’s been following me around for a while, nothing major, but when you and I started talking at the opera, we got popular.”
“Ah, Scandal Gal,” Crosshair mused. “Yes, I was approached and stalked by a teen.”
You nearly snorted trying to hold in your laughter. “What?”
“The picture of me that’s on that site was taken by a sixteen-year-old girl,” Crosshair said, smirking. “Somehow, I’m more afraid of gossip-hungry teens than I am of tactical droids.”
You chuckled. “They’re formidable, alright.”
“So… you’re feeding them what they want by bringing me here?” He continued the conversation.
“No, not exactly,” you replied. “That’s a side effect. Because of Scandal Gal, my mom rushed over to my place this morning panicking a little, but I explained to her that… well…”
You and Crosshair had just reached the bar of the opulent salon where the gala was being held, and you both took a seat on your respective stools. Crosshair eyed you with intrigue as you trailed off, prompting you to speak up, and you realized why you’d stopped yourself from saying what you wanted to say.
But this was Crosshair. He was a dream incarnate, and you were already there with him, a striking and attractive couple that commanded everyone’s attention, and you found yourself smiling at him as your pulse rose once more.
“That I… I feel a lot for you,” you said. “That I really like you, Crosshair, and this isn’t a meaningless fling for the sake of shock value to me.”
Crosshair maintained eye contact with you, and his features softened ever so slightly, so discreetly that an untrained eye wouldn’t have been able to notice. He broke eye contact with you to gesture at the bartender and order drinks for both of you, and then he turned back to you, with his lips curving to a smirk.
“Well, well,” he hummed. “How touching.”
It was good that he didn’t appear repulsive at your sentiments, but your poor, racing heart would need a more precise answer. Then, Crosshair’s smirk widened, and he looked down at his knees, letting his inner softness glow through if only for a moment.
“It’s not meaningless for me either,” he replied.
You smiled brightly and exhaled the tension from your chest. “Really?”
“Really,” he answered.
“Then… there’s something else you should know,” you said.
And you then explained how your mother wouldn’t use you both, but that you were supporting her cause in the senate, how him being exposed to something other than the front lines would put clones in a more human light, at least to the members of the senate who were still on the fence. You even gave Crosshair the opportunity to back out immediately if he felt like his strings were being pulled, but all the while, Crosshair remained with that serene smile at you, and when you were done talking, Crosshair reached for your hands and held them in his.
“Does this bill mean I’ll get paid more?” He asked.
You laughed openly, and he chuckled in return just as the drinks he’d ordered were placed beside you by the bartender.
“Sweetie,” he said to you. “I don’t care much about the other things. Not Scandal Gal, not the Senate, although that bill sounds decent. I came here to be with you because I can’t get you out of my brain. You’re not what I pictured a high-society woman to be, and… well…”
You smiled softly at him, and now it was your turn to prompt him to speak.
“Now that you’ve introduced me to your mother,” he said, “I hope I get the chance to introduce you to my brothers too.”
Your smile widened. “You’d do that?”
He nodded, smiling softly at you. “You’re a smart girl, you can handle it.”
You laughed and reached for your drink, an Urban Flora cocktail that could have been an exact replica of the one you drank when you first met Crosshair at the opera. You took a sip of it without breaking eye contact with Crosshair, and when you lowered your drink, you raised a brow at him.
“But can you handle the Coruscant high societal scene?” You asked.
Crosshair took a sip of his own drink, the smoky, rich Corellian whisky he loved so much, and he leaned in closer to you, close enough for you to smell the smooth, luscious drink on his breath.
“Try me, Sweetie,” he purred.
You giggled, and you both gently bumped your glasses together, and you went on to continue talking about whatever sparked your interest as you finished your drinks. Crosshair told you about his missions, his brothers, even a couple of anecdotes of when he was a young cadet. In turn, you told him about your days as a schoolgirl, your plans for the future, what you liked to do in your spare time, the planets you longed to visit all over the galaxy. And then, when the glasses were empty and the conversation was fulfilled, you and Crosshair stood up from the bar and went around the room, and you greeted most of your friends and acquaintances as well as introduced Crosshair to all of them. Crosshair was a flying success with everyone, and you couldn’t help but gawk at him just a little. The night wore on as smoothly as velvet, until it was getting late, and you were bound to return home.
You directed a look at Crosshair, a look that was filled with allure, and he reciprocated. Quick goodbyes were said, and soon, you were sitting with Crosshair at the back of your vehicle as the chauffeur flew you home. As you sat together, you were in silence, and though Crosshair was great with words, you’d learned he was far better with his actions, and he reached for the rose on his breast pocket and handed it to you. You smiled at him, slightly flustered, and for the remainder of the ride, you scooched closer to him and leaned your weight on him, eager to arrive at the privacy of your apartment.
You had no intention of waiting. After you and Crosshair had left the vehicle, the moment the elevator doors closed behind you, you were both on each other. Your hands ran all over his back as you both locked lips, hungrily devouring each other in that small space, and you then let your palms rest on his chest. Crosshair took each of your hands and tugged gently at your middle fingertips, enough to hold onto the gloves you wore as you slid your hands down and the delicate fabric came off, exposing your skin. You heard Crosshair shudder softly before he took you into his arms again, kissing you as passionately as before, and you both felt the elevator pulling to a stop.
You gathered yourselves—there was no need to surprise someone waiting for the elevator with a steamy scene—but when you found there was no one there to see you, you and Crosshair held hands as you made your way over to your penthouse, and the moment the door closed behind you both, you were on each other’s lips once more. Your wandering hands removed his coat and his vest, and he found the zipper at the back of your dress. He lowered the zipper, causing the dress’s blouse to fall limply around your silhouette, and you took a step back, wanting him to watch as you wiggled out of the dress and let the fabric fall gracefully on the floor, leaving you to step out of it.
Crosshair eyed you hungrily as you approached him. Your breasts hung freely at your front, and he didn’t miss the hickey he’d left on your ribs the day before. On your hips, there was a pair of lace black panties, but the top prize was easily taken by the stockings that covered you from the middle of your thighs to your toes, which he couldn’t make himself tear his gaze from. You chuckled and took his hands, leading him slowly into your bedroom, and he followed you blissfully until you were at the foot of your bed.
You let go of him and sat back all the way to your headboard. You pressed your legs together and slowly slid your panties away from you, tossing them aside, and you spread your legs to show him, never once breaking eye contact with him. Your gaze was alluring, slightly teasing, and Crosshair watched. He watched as you spread your legs and took your hand to your inner thigh, teasing your skin, until your fingers finally brushed fully over your folds and your clit. You let out a playful gasp, smirking at him and taunting him, and as he watched, Crosshair began to undress. Your smirk widened, and you continued to touch yourself in the way you most liked, delighted by the sight of him losing the clothes that covered him. Your cunt was wet and swollen, pulsating and sensitive, all you needed to do was increase your pace ever so slightly and you’d tip yourself over the edge—as Crosshair crawled onto the mattress, you decided to give him the full show. Making sure his eyes were still on you, you applied more pressure onto your clit and used your three middle fingers to rub, and looking into his eyes, you finally got to enjoy the waves of your orgasm.
You reveled in how hungry Crosshair looked, pleased and aroused by the little show you put on for him. Crosshair couldn’t help but take his hand over to his cock, pumping slowly as he watched you pleasing yourself, until your orgasm faded, and your moans quieted when you removed your hand. You found Crosshair’s gaze and pouted at him, holding your hand in front of you and curling your finger, beckoning him to come to you. With a smirk, Crosshair obliged, and he positioned himself between your legs, planting soft kisses around your inner thighs before brushing his tongue lusciously over your folds. He moaned into your skin, and you whimpered in return, dazed and sensitive after your antics.
As Crosshair continued to please you with his skilled tongue and lips, you suddenly felt his fingers finding yours. You spread your hand before interlacing your fingers with his, holding him as he brought you closer to another release. Your body squirmed harder than it had the first time around, the white-hot ecstasy seeming to explode within every fiber of your body. You didn’t hold back with your moaning, letting his name escape you many a time, enticed by the velvety texture of his tongue contrasting with the raspiness surrounding his jawline.
When Crosshair emerged from between your legs, you tugged on him, prompting him to rest at your eye level. You wanted to feel him close to you, and Crosshair knew what it was you desired. With your legs still spread, you rested back and let him take the lead, feeling as he slowly inserted himself within your tight, warm walls. You both moaned in unison and stared deeply into each other’s eyes as he began his thrusts slowly, luxuriously letting you feel everything. Your lips begged for his, and you perked your face up to kiss him as you felt your body gently bouncing on the mattress in his rhythm. Crosshair’s kisses made you float higher and higher, and drenched in pleasure and ecstasy, you felt like you were in paradise. Crosshair was truly capable of taking you there.
Crosshair paused his kisses on your lips and lifted himself to look at you, his gaze stern and seductive as he increased the snapping of his hips. He grunted as he hammered into you, shuddering and twitching inside you in anticipation, soon unable to contain soft groans and whimpers. Crosshair looked straight into your eyes, flooded by adoration of you, until the pleasure was too much for him to keep his eyes open even as much as he wanted to gaze into you. His eyes shut and the rhythm of his hips became unfathomably fast, and so too, you descended into bliss for the third time that night. You smiled amidst your orgasm, chiming his name in a delicious moan, your hand still securely holding his as he released inside you and fell limp on the mattress beside you afterwards.
You both panted, each your own dazed and flustered mess as you made futile attempts to recover, but as much as you were both unable to do much else, you remained holding each other’s hands. As time passed, you soon felt Crosshair’s thumb brushing delicately up and down your finger, and you watched him with a tender gaze. You felt you’d fall asleep right there, and if you did, you knew you would want for nothing. You knew you’d have nothing to worry about for as long as you were together, and the pain of temporary separations would be worth it if it was Crosshair you would wait for.
And there on your mattress, filled with love, resolve, and exhaustion, you drifted off into sleep.
A gentle sunlight and the song of birds woke you up. You noticed the space beside your bed was empty, and you didn’t waste time getting up and placing your robe over you as you sought out your lover. You walked over to the living room and your attention was drawn to the balcony, where he stood with his back turned on you, shirtless and wearing his pants from the night before, gazing out at the scenery.
You took a moment to admire him and the way his skin appeared golden under the morning sun, contrasting almost artistically with the green plants on your balcony, the blue sky, and the skyline ahead. With soft steps, you approached him and stepped out onto the balcony, and you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, pressing a soft kiss on his shoulder blade. Crosshair delicately shuffled and brought your figure next to him, draping his arm around you, and you both stood in silence for a few peaceful moments, watching the scenery.
“What are you watching?” You asked him, knowing it was in his nature to observe.
His amber eyes scanned the scenery, and he almost looked humbled. He had the face of an innocent life being beholding the universe ahead of them, realizing how small they truly were in comparison to the greatness of creation itself.
“Out there, as soldiers,” Crosshair began, “it often feels like we fight because it’s all we know. We were made for it. Myself, my brothers, more obviously bred for different purposes, all to serve one war. But aside from why we were created, we never really stop to think what we’re fighting for.”
You looked up at him, watching his features soften in realization as he spoke. Crosshair then angled his body more towards you, and he held you tighter, pressing you to the warmth of his skin, watching you with the most tender gaze you had ever felt on you.
“I won’t forget this next time I’m on the battlefield,” he continued.
“You mean, Coruscant?” You asked. “The Republic, these people, this skyline… peace?”
He smiled. “I mean you.”
You smiled at him, devoted.
Crosshair chuckled. “All of that, too, but, mostly you.”
“Oh, Crosshair,” you wrapped your arms around him and perked on your toes, requesting a kiss.
Crosshair obliged and kissed you gently, almost carefully, feeling as the sunshine draped over his skin. He wished he could remain there longer, but he had a duty, a duty that had brought him to you, and a duty that he had to fulfill in order to one day be with you more properly. He knew that, with you on Coruscant waiting for him, he’d always have a reason to return, and a reason to keep fighting. He’d never thought of a life besides being a soldier, but if you were in it, it couldn’t be so bad.
And out there, on that balcony, Crosshair held you close to him until the very last moment he could spare with you, until he had to leave again to be a soldier, always with the promise of returning to you.
*
This just in: Sweetie and Sniper Man are still together and far more public now that I and my loyal sources have done our job ;) I do think we have a power couple in our midst, and the next time these two show up at a fancy event dressed to impress, you’ll hear about it from none other than yours truly. I certainly wish the happy couple all the best, and my challenge towards Sniper Man to bring forth more eligible men from the fine and respectable GAR still stands. Help us gals out, Sniper Man, we all love you so much, and we can’t let Sweetie keep all the spoils!
Yours truly!
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