#anyway I'm back!! ish.
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Uh hi? 🙈
#AHSJSKSKDKD I FEEL SO AWKWARD BECAUSE I JUST WENT LIKE MIA WITH NO WARNING AT ALL#anyway I'm back!! ish.#Imma be real: the fandom just became a lot for me to deal with due to the hostility of a certain subset of it#3 guesses who lmao#but well don't get your hopes too high#I don't think I'm ready to fully dive back into the ST/Mileven fandom just yet but I would like to become more active on my main#but of course I would still love to consume any art/fics/all around positive fan content of my mutuals so feel free to tag or send me posts#Ily guys sm and I've missed interacting with ya'll#It's just hard to enjoy this fandom when there's also so much hate 🙃#leggomyayygo#ayygo blogs!#mileven
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Ray of sunshine
(pre-launch page for their comic)
#I can not wait to make this comic#I have to stop thinking about it or else I cant focus#every time I start thinking about it I get all jittery. I wanna make it so fucking bad its unreal#hope to GOD I can do it full time omfg#I'll need like 500 people on my patreon paying to read ahead. ish. minimum. which is scary ahgkjsahgkjagh#but! I'll be able to put that on patreon! I cant do that right now. so thats cool!!!#just a lot of people AJGLKJGLKJASLKGGA#like it has to do well or I'm gonna have to get a different job#cause. I am NOT working for webtoon again#I cant do it they are killing me#and I'm not getting paid enough for it#I pitched this comic btw and they said they liked it but they wanted me to simplify the plot.#cause it was 'too complicated'#its literally just like. a murder mystery + a romance + a fetch quest#like its extremely not that complicated lmfao#they thought that people wouldnt be able to follow cause theres too much going on.#and I am not interested in simplifying my stories to this extent. I respect my readers and I trust they can follow plots#just. omfg I'm doing it again!!!#I cant start talking about webtoon without going off again!!!#they PISH ME OFF ! HAHAHAHAH#okay. anyways. I have to get back to work now this took me longer than I expected#like 4 hours#I'm enjoying this new illustration style I've been doing though. its fun.#its like 1 layer and then a ton of effects HAHAHAH#we were legion#zagan and luciel#zagan#luciel#how did I make zagan so hot... I'm a genius...#if he isnt hot then no one would put up with his behavior at the start of the ccomic HAHAHAHA
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only human
[ID: Two page comic in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The first page has a black background and the upper half, behind the panels, is splattered with stylized red blood, scattered bullets, and lifeless hands. In the first panel, it focuses on Vash's boots, showing him stepping through the panel and into the bloody scene. The second panel shows his bloody footprints and the third panel shows his face, his down-turned eyes looking downwards. It's a neutral, vague expression with confliction. At the bottom of the page, the back of Wolfwood's head and shoulder is seen, blood dirtying the white color of his shirt and side of his face. Vash's hand reaches out to him from the right side of the page.
The second page shows the entire scene in full, half the page in light and the other in solid black. At the center, Vash leans down onto his knees as he wraps his arms around Wolfwood's shoulders into a hug. Wolfwood's back is turned away from the viewer, his left arm holds onto his bloodied punisher and his right hand sits on his lap. Light casts from the left side of the page, showing the bloodied surrounding, but the held up punisher casts a shadow on the both of them, shielding them from the light. END ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#<-- should i add that to the original post... if it's effective?#anyway this was a direct sequel to the previous post... i had a lot of thoughts when i drew it but my brain is failing me rn#something something about being granted that bit of mundanity and then running into some situation that whiplashes u back into the identity#u were built and trained to be. that at the end of the day its not possible to just be without dirtying your hands again#he's used to it but ww will forever be someone too kind too tender hearted to really be eased out of the cold lifestyle he's forced to live#and i personally dont think trimax vash could look at wolfwood with disdain or disappointment when catching him after the fact#he knows where wolfwood's heart lies he's seen the way wolfwood killed to protect and he thanked him for it too. i think him understanding#ww deeper in that way would just make his heart wretch so all he can offer is a comfort and arms to return to.#to reassure that he can still be loved even with the blood on his hands#i also think i drew an illustration when i first got into trigun depicting this same ish message....#i'm just very particular about this Subject. i need ww to be loved i need him to be reassured even if he'll still refuse to believe he's#worthy of it like AUGHHH. ok.#ruporas art
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litany of the martyrs (click for better resolution!)
#at some point i wanted to make an illustration for each character but in retrospect maybe each is multiple song-coded..#drew the sketch for a quincy thing after a chat with a mutual reminded me this song existed dfsghjkl and then spent weeks rendering this#quincy cynthius martin#adamandi#i'm finally done with this! the saints especially were joys to paint and the halo a menace.... this has been the most ambitious one so far.#but it also took quite long because i only worked on it <engages with quincy> when mentally okay to deal with the themes. i'm not religious#but i do identify with the irrational(?ish) guilt + family legacy + academic achievement + disregard for self. also more complex thoughts#about love [but depsite quincent being a large part of quincy's character this piece deals with mostly the Rest of it. so another time..]#anyways! in the original sketch- the saints had heads bent towards quincy so the halo spikes pointed at him. but this worked better! halos#of the saints implying/creating one for quincy was a concept from the start though. in the show they don't touch him directly here but#differences in mediums i think- i don't have time in an image to craft a narrative so everything has to be happening. also artistic liberty#misc inspiration for this includes stained glass windows. i might have maybe misinterpreted the saint costume but i think i logic-ed it out#as the cloth part following a nun's habit w the hood. and then halo above. the material is also more transparent originally but i had. um.#too much fun painting fabric folds.. if you look closely you can see the basis of faces though behind the cloth; but only the vague shapes#because smth obscurity + inhumanness// cassian is the only one i gave a mouth though. that stems from melliot's post about the saints and#st cassian as spokesperson (<- did research teehee!) that's also how i found out which costume = which saint. speaking of which.#left to right: 'st lucy take my hand' // 'st lawrence give me strength' (presses quincy forward; but hand on shoulder connotates guidance)#/'st cassian help me smile' (quincy's mouth is btwn a grimace and a smile; tilts up at side. also no direct touch bc added insidiousness.)#//'st jude [...] i hope your causes burn' (jude's hand is in two places to show movement- nearing the flame and then snatching back; burnt)#other notes: at the midst of the flame the core is shaped like a human heart /the saints and their wax are all melting like the candle for#fun visual effect and also this way they are even less tangible <real>. perks of painting as a medium i guess. // also insp from icarus?#wax and burning imagery; looking at the halo and rays as parallel to sun that burns. too close to the sun; melting; hurting; hurtling //#candles at bottom are a nod to the frankly gorgeous set// also the entire composition kind of stems from the lyric <what use is a candle if#both ends aren't burning>; the two sides between the concepts of catholic guilt and academic perfection that spur quincy#the halo above (saints and guilt; litanyofthemartyrs) and the 'halo' below (academic papers; insp from choreo for perfect at school)#the papers were originally supposed to be more glowy. but i like the idea of it now being a reflection of how quincy's priorities shift#also of note is that <candle> in centre = quincy; w burning candle + aforementioned heart in flame -> most human; idea of love + passion#last thoughts: kneeling + hands close tgt = prayer //wax dripping onto the red As make an effect that looks like blood. because i like#hiding that within the adamandi pieces :OO continuity!! // i've run out of tags but yeah! had fun with this one! every so often i go a#little insane in making art and the final result astounds even me. ngl i'm quite proud of this one. pretty colours <3333
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I have a lot of thoughts about Percy Tozaki (from Keyframes VN) and I just... I wanna write them down but I need to go through the game again (I never trust my own memory lmfao). wait nvm I started and I can't stop my thought train elp Like on the surface he acts very charsmatic and charming, but you can see SO often in the game that he often steps back and let's others shine over himself? And like... He's always looking out for the other two guys? Like he'll make sure Jamie gets something he likes to eat/willing to eat? He grabed a ton of lemonade for Elio to reward him for being nice (despite saying that's not what he's doing). He makes sure everyone is seen while he just... steps back?? LIKE. I SEE YOU PERCY. I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING Also I haven't played everything out there yet of Keyframes, but I noticed he never really talks much about himself/family? He always ends up talking about Elio's family and it sounds like once they became friends in highschool he was always there? So I'm like??? hello is there angst there?? AND THEN I did the event where they go to halfway point and he says he got into his school career path because he's just kind of good at it? Like that might not sound like much, but before I got that scene I was thinking for my MC that she just became a lawyer because she was told 'it's either that or you're worthless' (better phrased but I'm sleep deprived). And when that scene came up you had the option of saying your family was a line of lawyers and that just lined up with her so well? So I'm not thinking that Percy is the same since each answer seems to line up with each li (Family is in that career <- Elio, Wants to help people <- Cameron, Jamie [not sure because I haven't done his route but he reacts to this line], In it for the money <- Not sure because I forgot to check the reactions for this line), but I'm thinking maybe he was pressured to go that career path from family?? PROBABLY reading too much into it but it is interesting that he never mentions his own family... MAN even at the Spring Festival he says he wants to play games but the other derail him/get to do what they want? And when you hang out as a group (I havn't done the indivdual hang outs yet) you just never end up doing the games?? Well, the ones where you can win a cheap toy prize. You do some fun challenges together, but I don't think that's what he was aiming for when he said what he wanted to do. (Spoilers from asks from Blank House after this) Also I saw through Blank House asks that one of the li routes is gonna include a breakup? And my first thought is: Jamie, of course. He's international so he might break up with you because he's going back to Sweden? but what if it's one of the other lis... AND I can't see it being Elio... (if it was that would come from left field LOL) (ok done about the BH ask) ANYWAYS PERCY I SEE YOU. I SEE YOUR PAIN AND I CAN'T WAIT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOU
#keyframes percy#keyframes vn#crow rambles#anyways pls ignore me I have lots of thoughts about this vn#I needed to get these thoughts out so I can come back later and see if I'm right about anything lol#gosh I love all these characters... Time to do other routes#also sorry about any mistakes/weird ramblings because I've been kind of sick/sleep deprived for the last 2 ish days#people feel free to talk to me about keyframes lol
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and baby, if you knew
word count: 2.1k || pt2 of saying we're just friends
warnings: mentions of the night before (?), morning after, hickies (?)
summary: oh the horrors of getting caught the morning after
You stare at yourself in the mirror, blinking incredulously. (Partially out of pure shock, partially because sleeping with your contacts on was NOT a smart decision on your end)
Holy fuck, Tim got mouthy with you.
You tilt your neck to brush your fingers over the hickeys, gawking at the way it trails down your neck and collar to your chest, the purple popping on your skin. Sure, you weren't half as pale as Tim was, but hello? You didn't even bring concealer. You weren't expecting him to take you to the Wayne Manor.
"Tim." You swallow, grimacing.
Tim raises a brow, shirt pulled halfway over his head.
"How many hickeys did you give me? Do you have a whisk? Do you have ice? Are you secretly a vampire???"
"One question at a time, lovely." he mumbles. "Seven. There's a whisk and ice downstairs. I am not secretly a vampire, although I can see why you'd guess that."
You blink at him. "Do you have a collared shirt?"
"Just settle for one of my shirts for now." He pulls the shirt over his head, tossing you the other one in the bed.
"Please tell me it's not sheer."
"It's not."
"Thank GOD you're rich." You mumble. "It's a blessing to have non-sheer white shirts."
"Yeah, I get that." He mumbles. "Come on. Alfred called us for breakfast a little ago."
"Which one of your siblings are here?"
"We'll see." Tim hums, shutting the door to his room. (All of them are downstairs, likely. They were probably having a post-valentine debriefing like they usually do. Bruce was not spared from it.)
You duck behind Tim when you notice everyone having breakfast.
"You said we'll see! Are none of them staying with the people they were out with last night?!"
"It happens every year." Tim hums, holding his hand out for you. "Come on. Don't do the walk of shame."
"Seriously. I run a stan account for you and live in my dorm. I'm practically a hermit." You deadpan. "I am NOT cut out to be meeting your family this early in the morning."
"Master Tim, young miss. Are you ready for breakfast? We are having pancakes."
"Just kidding I would kill for pancakes right now." You mumble, following behind Tim as he sits you next to him.
All eyes are on you as you adjust the collar of your shirt, the tag scratching against your skin, the hickeys on your neck visible. You thank Alfred as he places a plate before you, and you start at the chocolate chip pancakes. Holy shit, fuck the eyes on you, this was heaven.
"Alfred, do you have a recipe book?" You blink at him, eyes wide in admiration.
"Which recipe would you like, young miss?"
"Oh, all of them if possible. I'd love to be able to cook half as well as you can." You hum, taking another bite of your food. "Do you have a digital copy?"
"Unfortunately, all of it is on paper or in here." He smiles, tapping his brain. "But I am more than willing to provide you with any recipes you may like."
"Mm!" You shove the last piece of the pancake into your mouth, swallowing as you get up. "Tim, do you have a laptop? I want to type a couple recipes down and transcribe what's on paper—"
"Pull open the drawer to your left." He hums.
You pull it open, blinking at him.
"There's a false bottom in it. One of my spare laptops is in it. The password is a combination of letters." He hums.
"With significance?"
"Yes."
"Oh, then I know an approximation, then." You hum, working your finger into the side as you prop it open, pulling his laptop out. "Is it our birthdays?"
"Wait, how did she–" Dick's cut off when you manage to open it on your first try.
"Alright. I'm gonna go! I'll be with Alfred if you need anything." You smile.
"She just?" Duke blinks incredulously. "Did she just hack open your laptop on her first try? Is she in compsci like you?"
"English." Tim grabs a couple pancakes, cutting off a piece of butter. "Creative writing, technically."
"Oh, is she making her own major?"
"Yes." Tim hums. "I don't actually know how she guessed that it would be our birthdays since I only changed it a little while ago. It'd be easier to open if it was just our birthdays combined. Maybe she was stalking me."
"Or, maybe all the years of running a Robin Twitter account finally paid off." Jason shrugs. "She's quite a big writer on the internet too, you know?"
"Yeah." Tim hums. "She's quite the character. Have you read her works?"
"I have." Damian speaks up. "Her writing resembles poetry, pulling on the strings of your heart and snapping them at moments you least expect."
"You've read her works?!" Tim raises a brow at Damian. "That's surprising."
"She resembles the poets."
"She'd love to hear that come out of your mouth for sure." Tim mumbles. "Anything else I should know?"
"She covered me for change once while I went to buy cup noodles." Cass mumbles.
"I'm mutuals with her on Twitter?" Steph points.
"Okay, that's not the point. Timmy." Dick deadpans. "Did you sleep with her last night?"
"Sex or just plain sleeping? Because we did both—"
"I DIDN'T GET TO GIVE YOU THE SHOVEL TALK!" Dick cries. "Okay, when a man and a—"
"Dick, I'm well over into the ages of a legal adult." Tim sighs. "Besides, I'm like seventy percent sure that you gave me the shovel talk when you first found out I was dating Ari in high school. Also, I got one from my dad and Bruce, so I think I'm good."
"Oh, right." Dick mumbles. "But still."
Steph pauses. "Does she want a whisk?"
"She was asking for one earlier." Tim hums.
"We'll go help." Cass mumbles, getting out of the seat, dragging Steph.
"Okay, Tim. Is she the one who was making you all red and blushy during Christmas?" Dick slides closer to him, throwing an arm around his shoulder.
"Yes." Tim sighs, batting Dick's hand away. "She was."
"How'd you ask her out?"
"Told her if she had nothing to do on Valentine's, then she could stick with me and I could plan a date." Tim reaches for another pancake.
"And she agreed?" Jason snorts. "Wow. She's way out of your league."
"Yeah, but at least I got B's absolutely insane ability to pull." He mumbles. "Pulled way out of my league, for sure."
"If you fumble her I fear the things that will happen to you, Drake." Damian clicks his tongue.
"Do I... know her?"
"Duke," Damian sighs. "You're smarter than this."
"He's messing with you right now." Jason pours himself another cup of coffee.
"What's your relationship with her." Tim deadpans.
"She used to peer review my poems." He hums. "It didn't click until Damian showed me her information this morning, though."
"You just let them go through my girlfriend's personal information?!" Tim finally looks at Bruce, who only gives him a shrug.
"No harm in knowing a little more about your girlfriend."
"I swear, if you bring her in on the vigilantism—"
"That's not happening. I can promise that." Bruce glances at his almost empty mug. "Does she know?"
"She called me out for being Red Robin last night in the car." Tim sighs. "Besides, it'd be strange if she didn't notice immediately how similar Red Robin and I's voices are."
"She's been running your account for how long... now?" Bruce motions for Jason to pass him the coffee.
"Since middle school, so like..." Tim pauses. "Give or take seven years."
"That's a long time." Dick mumbles. "My longest-running fanpage is only six-ish years."
"If you count the Gotham Gazette, then I've been running for the longest." Bruce snorts. "Is she the one?"
"I think she is." Tim smiles. "And if she's not..."
"Then I will personally see the end of your life, Drake." Damian grumbles. "I shall have mother adopt her and have her write poetry for me in exchange for a living space and food. She shall be the equivalent of a court poet except to mother and I."
"I honestly think she wouldn't turn that down." Tim grimaces.
"Is she that desperate?"
"She's joked about sleeping with a millionaire to make some money." Tim grimaces. "Something something desperate situations call for desperate measures."
"She would love it in mother's mansion, then." Damian hums, sipping on his tea. "I shall have her write a poem for your death. It shall be my last mercy."
Tim grimaces. "What if she breaks up with me?"
"Then you're in the fault, obviously." Jason mumbles, looking at his phone.
"So it's my fault regardless of what happens?"
"Listen, her tweets are unhinged. You can't say you like crazy girls and then get annoyed when you date one and she acts insane." Jason grumbles.
"He's got a point, Timmers." Dick hums. "I hope it works out for the best, regardless of the ending."
"Twenty bucks they are endgame." Damian mumbles.
"Alfred bet ten that Tim would pop the ring."
"Ugh, come on. You know no one out-bets Alfred." Dick groans. "Did he set up the jar?"
"He did. This morning." Duke hums. "I put my bet in too."
"Come on–"
"You can't say shit when you bet on all of our relationships and pretty much came out unscathed in all of them." Jason glares. "Shut it."
Tim rolls his eyes, surrendering himself to the idea that his relationship would get bet on.
"Tim, can I marry your sisters?" You come out of the kitchen, eyes sparkling.
"We're dating." He sighs. "Pretty bird—"
"EWWWWWWW" A mixture of faked hurls and gags are heard in unison as Tim rolls his eyes.
"Ignore them. Why do you want my sisters?"
"The hickeys are all," You pull your shirt down too to show your cleavage, the hickeys no longer visible, "gone! Your sisters are really good at this."
"Yeah..." Tim sighs, reaching to pull your shirt back up. "Steph isn't my sister, by the way."
"Oh, yes, I know." You smile. "After all, if she was, it'd be strange that you've dated her before."
Tim chokes on the air at your statement.
"Besides, she's my mutual." You hum. "I also got Alfred's recipes, by the way." You hum, smile on your face. "I also got his chocolate chip cookie recipe, though I need to figure out what the secret ingredient is."
"A dash of vanilla extract." Tim lowers his voice. "Don't tell the rest of the family."
"Got it." You give him a thumbs up.
"Do you cook?" Damian speaks up.
"I do! Mainly ethnic foods, since there isn't much of that here in Gotham." You mumble. "Got any good Chinese places?"
"Oh, there's this place on Seventh Ave and Jester." Bruce speaks up. "I used to get dim sum there. It's only open from eight to twelve, and you need to get in via reservation. Feel free to borrow my name whenever. Just make sure to invite me."
"Uncle Dan's, right?" You beam. "I went there a while back with another friend, but I miss like... the dim sum that's messy and chaotic in the morning."
"Oh, then try the one on Lightbeam." Dick pauses. "Ah, what was the other street?"
"Oh, that one's good." Duke agrees. "Sam Woo's Dim Sum and BBQ."
"I've had that too!" You smile. "They're good, just quite a while from the university."
"If you really want something good," Cass speaks up from behind you, "try Jin."
"Jin?"
"It's smaller, but it's family-run, and it's been doing business in Gotham for three generations already." Cass hums. "They're called Jin, but the Chinese character for gold. They're right by Gotham U too. On the corner by Circle K."
"The sketchy looking alley??" You blink.
"Yes, but their dumplings are to die for." She pauses. "And they sell in bulk if you want to boil any in your dorm."
"Tim, I want your sister."
"Pretty bird, we just started going out." He clicks his tongue.
"Tim, if you break her heart, I will date her." Cass blinks.
"You can visit her when she stays in mother's mansion."
"Hm?" You turn to blink at Damian.
"Ignore him—"
"Should you and Drake break up, I have already arranged your living arrangements, should you agree to it."
"And what might they be?" You hand the laptop to Tim, pointing at the document you shared with yourself.
"With my mother. Your only job shall be to write poems and short stories to entertain her."
"Living and writing for the Talia Al Ghul? Count me in." You sigh dreamily.
"Alright." Tim shuts the laptop after changing the password. "We're going to get going before her roommate calls the cops on her."
"Oh, right!" You mumble. "It was a pleasure meeting you all! I hope to see you again sometime?"
"Tim, send her number in the chat later!" Dick calls as Tim pulls you out.
"Sorry, they're quite embarrassing." Tim mumbles.
"They're warm." You smile. "I like it."
"Yeah?"
"Yes."
Tim sighs in relief at the look of fondness on your face. Right.
You'll be fine.
#1: I wrote this in a frenzy in like 3 ish hours?#2: i've been awake for 20 hours at this point. yay.#someone needs to put me into like a medically induced coma so I can sleep properly or smth#ok anyways#THIS ONE'S FOR YOU ANON!!!#Tim drake x reader#red robin x reader#tim drake imagine#red robin imagine#ugh I'm pushign everything in the queue back for this ughhhHHHHHHHH nvm I'm queuing this gn I'll see u when this posts on uhhh idk#☾.fics#☾.pretty bird
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Interrupting all my chores for a very important event
#kamen rider#kamen rider geats#keiwa sakurai#sara sakurai#azuma michinaga#fanart#keimichi#ish? not sure whats the ship tag#i'll assume i shouldn't clog their kr name tags since they're not henshin'd here#as you can see op is on episode 47 as she posts it#TWO MORE EPS UNTIL I'M FREE FROM MY BLINDWATCH JAIL#posted my last wips and drawings on my side acc because this one is a more portfolio thing#altho some d2 stuff still clogs my page yelp#and posting this one here bc i think its good enough to be here?#its like a comic panel but larger lol#for the person who rb my last art with the tag 'keimichi is so real op':#you have no idea how much that tag comment carried me thru eps 40-46 lkjhgfdsdfghjk#they're the top notch slow burn i've been hoping for since episode 6#with the bonus of keiwa's corruption arc i was NOT expecting at all gosh i was so well served#ace promised me a world of happiness and he's delivering it — amen geats#anyway enough rambling i gotta go back to work
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BEE KISS TOMORR- *dead* /j
If anyone wants to watch me drawing this like a little victorian child then the timelapse is below the cut 🤣
(FLICKER WARNING. It's all through out so be careful!👍 )
#RWBY#Bumbleby#Blake Belladonna#Yang Xiao Long#Foxarts#YOUR HONOR I HATE THEM (that's a lie actually)#I'VE BEEN STARING AT THIS FOR 3(?) DAYS NOW AND I'M SICK#Technically this doesn't contain spoilers but let me know if I should add the tag!#In reality I think cloud scene will happen episode 7-ish BUT being delusional is what being a bee fan is all about-#This is the first time I've actually tried drawing a kiss sooooo hope it turned out ok xDD#I am the one who looks away when anyone kisses for more than 2 seconds so.#Kisses aren't very photogenic that's all I'll say (I had 3 tutorials open and 5 references pulled up)#This was so messy- I forewent line art because I hate it and I thought it wouldn't be bad to just clean up the sketch. I was kind of right.#Watching back the recording is funny because I've always known I'm disorganized but just watching it play out is hilarious.#Enjoy my little notes and doodles 😌😌#They're so soft I want to scream.#I SURE HOPE I DIDN'T FORGET ANYTHING 😭#Risking my livelihood for these stupids since 2020 *strikes pose*#Anyways that's enough of my rambling.#HAVE A NICE DAY Y'ALL!!
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closing time
#you know situation's dire when sparks breaks out the color block sona vent art LOOOOOOOL#sparks speaks#vent#again to all my new-ish followers i do post stuff like this from time 2 time PLEASE block one of those tags if you don't want to see it#long post#edit: fine to rb idgas#ummm NEway. i go back to college in like a month and the thought of it makes me want to curl up and die. idk if i can do it again tbh lol#i dont know how i survived the first time#<- LYING he does. and it was by letting the dissociation he is currently bitching about swallow him completely#if i really committed and tried i could probably claw my way out of this. but there's really no point when i'll just fall back into it soon#the forgetting my entire life does suck though. it does suck.#its really cool learning you've lost the only thing you thought you couldn't lose.#anyways. i'm fine im chillin i just. needed to get this out#if youre reading this preciate you. drink water
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Well, it's that time of the year again!! Looking back it's been full of ups and downs (art- and otherwise) and overall I'm a little frustrated with where I'm at, but I do like some of the pieces I've drawn this year. I'll try to just focus on that :)
Anyway, I'll be leaving tomorrow to once again spend the holidays/rest of the year with my partner, so I'm going to take this opportunity to thank all of you for coming along with me on my art journey! Your tags, comments and support mean the world to me, so thank you for encouraging me to keep doing this despite the horrors lmao I hope you guys have yourselves a gay old christmas if you celebrate, and just a gay old time if you don't, and that you make it safely into the new year ♥
This also means that I'm taking a short break in my commission work, but I'll get back to everyone who is still waiting as soon as I'm back home!
See you all in 2024 (seriously h o w is it 2024 already that cannot be real)
#art summary#2023#stuff and things#userpharawee#actually I'm quite happy with all the bg3 art I've been doing#the rest is a bit hit and miss lol#but overall I think it's alright. yea#kenbig brainrot still going strong too#I'd love to get back to drawing ocs more. and danmei stuff because I miss that#ahh I need more time to draw (I say that every year. and every year it's true)#anyway I have a bunch of old-ish stuff in my drafts that I never posted. maybe I'll push some of that out while I'm gone idk#we'll see
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in my you're on your own kid era again (I never left)
#babes i will do what i know best which is to write. study. pray. breathe.#lol you'd think after having a mental breakdown two days ago i'd be more settled in what to do#but it turns out there are many ways your heart can break!#and part of it is. yes. i know i'm stupid and have a horribly soft heart that is so so susceptible to being won over#and i AM aware that i easily love people (in a general sense) it is not hard for me to see beauty in someone and love them#because i catch a glimpse of or recognize goodness truth beauty kindness loveliness gentleness in them and it moves me deeply#i am very easily moved deeply i know this!! and i wish it weren't so sometimes#but anywayssssss insert all the things you know the routine i should've been wiser i should've been more careful#i wanted to know about him i wanted him to find me delightful and insightful and courageous and interesting#i wanted to make him laugh somehow or at least smile i wanted to see that joy of his up close#i saw a deep startling warming light in him and i wanted to draw closer#etc etc etc anywayyyyyy anyway#petrarch: Love found me all disarmed and saw the way / was clear to reach my heart down through the eyes#which have become the halls and doors of tears. / it seems to me it did him little honor / to wound me with his arrow in my state#/and to you armed not show his bow at all" etc etc you know the drill#insert ALL the things. standard stuff. i would have loved you i would have treated you tenderly i would have simply rejoiced to be near you#all of that ish and more. anyways back to real life lol i'd love to experience a love that doesn't feel like death someday#healing girl era summer '24
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HTB doodle and wip dump💯💯💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥
Probably abandoned drafts too but shhh
Cooked these up instead of taking notes. Just a small thingaling concept don't worry about it dude.
I also have a playlist on Spotify just search for "HTB thing I'm making and won't elaborate on," because I can't send links for some reason GRRRALSJDIDK. Anyway listen to it, it's got really cool music with underrated bangers and peak taste, plus I put effort into it.😖
MS paint MASTERPIECE 🗣️🗣️
Oh, this thing!!! Super extreme rough draft, you gotta see the vision man. I WAS working on it but kind of got side tracked and lost motivation. Just gotta wait for the next wave to hit me then I'm back to work🙏
Animal body horror!! And stuff below. Also some memes in there you don't wanna miss out on that
Also this is m!Cesar and Mark. It is LITERALLY THEM😭😭
Anyway that's all Blitzi OUUTT✌️✌️
( @mustangs-flames )
#hail true body#htb cesar hernandez#htb mark owens#htb mimic!cesar#htb the deer#art#anyway YEAHH!! these are from a collective of around the past 5-ish months and stuff#at least what I think is postable enough#I need ideas to come back and hit me like a semitruck AAGGHHH my mind is blank and I'm too tired to continue working on wips#SORRRYYY CHAATTT💔💔
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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Every now and then I see the discourse circulate on this hellsite, and I wonder if people know that the term 'yandere' used to have an extremely specific definition that no longer holds up to how people use it today
#I'm old enough to remember the original 'yangiri' discourse someone help me.#I don't have answers for this okay it's one of those things where if enough time and people change the definition of something there's not#much can be done about it. This isn't a call to action or anything. Just an old person talking from a rocking chair.#There's a reason I call what I write 'soft' but it's actually a lot closer to 'classic'.#Anyway that very specific original definition was something like: “so in love it made them sick”#Which often got interpreted as “insecure” or “overprotected” depending on the genre.#A big part of the ending would be either the yan killing themself; their competition; or -- and this is not a joke--#“true love would cure them”#(I don't like that one. I like it when the darling manipulates their yan but that's my personal predilection.)#You can see why some authors might play that for laughs instead of drama#in a uhhhhh sitcom-ish kind of way. Overbearing wife. Guard dog husband. Be careful. He bites.#Anyway the whole “yans hurting their darlings” wasn't unheard of but it wasn't common either? It was an outburst at the world#not an outburst at the love interest. Why won't they just let us be together? I'll make them! They can't get in between us!#At least hurting the darling wasn't the point. Yans aren't meant to be a 1 to 1 for being in an abusive relationship.#It's more about what if someone has too many emotions for one person and they're overflowing.#I dunno. Whenever I hear younger yan fans talk about it it's like “don't quote the scripture at me” kind of feeling#“That's not what yandere is” I was into yandere before you could read. Back when we had dial-up. Leave me alone in my retirement home.#And this is not a kink shaming thing if you're into the whole show of force because of whatever horror-based reason that's your thing#I get it. I really do. But this one is an actual rant about missing the point of the original text:#The whole thing about breaking legs to keep someone around actually meant something when it was a teenage girl trying to dominate a much#larger boy or man. When it's a man doing it to a girl it looses the meaning of the text. Like I get that for most people that's not what#they're going for. But the original usage was doing something. It was supposed to make the powerful feel powerless.#(and to remind people teenage girls are terrifying)
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guys i'm going to be real i dobn't think i expected this kind of direction for the lore update
#cacterart#brutal orchestra#tw drugs#i played class of '09 recently. it feels like class of '09 played me#every time i get an idea for a crossover it's divine whispers. and also autism#anyway back to class of '09 i don't even know if i can recommend it because like#it just feels like american high school simulator#and i live on the opposite side of the world so i have no idea if it's accurate or not#so it all just feels. absurd to me. i still can't believe this game is real#it's 2 GAMES and i played both of them#anyway i'm only posting this here for. archival-ish purposes#i'm very sorry once mre
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POM BUDDY YOU ALIVE????
#rain world#rainworld#rain world oc#iterator oc#rain world askblog#hiiiiiiiiii we're so back :]#anyways probably gonna be messing with the artstyle a bit more until i find something i'm a bit more proud to post#instead of the mostly quick sketches and doodles from before#but yea!!! if u sent an ask asking abt her condition and stuff. i promise i'll get to u soon-ish!!#got a lot of good asks atm so i wanna try and answer them individually <3
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