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#anyway I know people are gonna be mad about this and I wanted to put my 2 cents out there
gaytoddhoward · 3 months
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i kind of need to be like skinned or put into a meat grinder or something . lol .
#personal#vent#vent in tags#maybe i can just boil myself alive instead#im so SICK of being the one to be actively concerned with all my friends' health & having to tell them to take care of themselves#'yeah i threw up from a hangover on the way here and i havent eaten in like 3 days and i dont do anything other than work and sleep'#ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME#'i only shower once a week' we can tell 'and i dont ever use shampoo. and im still surviving off a diet of just top ramen and dr pepper'#MY BROTHER IN CHRIST. TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF#'i havent made a doctors appointment for this possibly life threatening issue yet' im actually going to start sobbing .#IM NOT. MAD AT ANY OF MY FRIENDS TO BE CLEAR#but god its so fucking tiring. to be one of maybe two people to actually go 'hey that is really concerning please take care of yourself'#and then i cant fucking. take care of myself & i dont have the energy to think about my friends health anymore and i feel bad about it#i am NOT the pinnacle of health. but got damb !! if ur gonna not take care of yourself please do not tell me about it i get so so worried#& then my mother . god. waves vaguely at any interaction i have with her. doesnt make it any better#im so sick i need out of this house & out of this town get me outta here ! id thrive in pokemon put me in the pokeverse or some shit PLEASE#if ur the one person who i mentioned in tags thats also on tumblr pls pls know i am not mad at you im just so stressed always#& i care for u so deeply & it worries me so bad that u/ur family havent made more progress towards getting the issue solved .#(u probably won't see this post anyways but if u do. i just want it to be clear)#ANYWAYS it just crazy how i can bounce so rapidly from 'im not even human' to 'i am Too human'. and iam so so sick .of it.#if a single customer even makes eye contact with me at work tomorrow im going to gnaw my left pinky off in front of them i stg
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rrrromeo · 11 months
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I had a feeling Izzy was gonna die after reading the episode synopsis and I was so preemptively mad because I think redemption through death is so lazy but that’s not what this was
I actually thought this was brilliant because the purpose it served was not to redeem Izzy (who had already done that himself) but rather it was the ONLY way he and Ed were ever going to be honest with each other
everything with Izzy in this episode was so fucking good like we HAVE to stan
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starlooove · 3 months
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And I’m standing ten toes down behind Eloise
#Ppl calling her feminism white feminism#like yeah for todays standards sure whatever#my feelings on Eloise are complicated but a lot of y’all’s feminism is whether u think Barbie was good and that’s how ur measuring Eloise#like this little girls girl shit is right next to thinking Barbie is a masterpiece is right next to saying here’s my 20 step skincare#routing but it’s for yourself not for men but also here’s how to walk and make eye contact to manipulate a man ;3#like It’s so funny how everyone was mad Eloise didn’t put action to the thoughts#which season 2 was all about btw like I feel like ppl also misunderstand the point of her character and what’s happening internally but diff#and now theyre saying she’s an asshole for shifting topics of convo within her group of peers#when that’s proof that she cannot assimilate the way y’all say she does?#like yuckk#Idk I feel like the visceral reaction to Eloise just feels like ‘if feminist why care about ur dad 🤨’#i was gonna say y’all want Eloise to cut off all ties with her family and start connecting to those of lower classes#but when she did anything CLOSE to that y’all STILL called her an asshole#also you know what you’re walking into when you’re watching bridgerton it was way too early to keep her there you KNOW that#but also also Penelope has been trying to find her niche and balance her family’s reputation with her ideals the entire time#and it does come off as hypocritical and self centered at times just as every single character on this show has!#i said Penelope I meant Eloise it still applies but whatever#anyways#yeah season 2 she came to the conclusion y’all did#that she wasn’t really about it and she should stick to high society#‘she was such an asshole this season’ bc she in fact does believe what she preaches and found ignoring it to be difficult#like y’all are just saying she’s a bad person no she was uncomfortable and response was to be snappy like hello#like this dramatic shift in her character is bc of the trouble she caused her family by trying to stand on business#like when it comes to interpersonal relationships Eloise suffers from the fact that not everyone comes to the same conclusions she does#like she told Benedict she can’t understand how nobody sees what she sees#but that’s not true a lot of people see what she sees#Cressida saw what she sees! what Eloise DOESNT understand is that other ppl come to diff conclusions with the same knowledge!#other ppl see the same thing and choose to flourish within the system no questions! bc they don’t have the privilege to do anything else!#THATS where she needs to grow! the obvious conclusion IS obvious but what to do after is mot the same or available to everyone!#but thats like. the most positive of my feelings towards her it is complicated I’m just being nice rn
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seventh-district · 9 months
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wow!!! nothing better than watching your AO3 subscribers stat go down every time you post a new chapter of your current fic!!!
#/sarcastic btw. i am. Not happy about this recent development#Seven.txt#writing stuff#ao3#like. don't get me wrong i do understand why and i can't fault anyone and i'm not like.. Mad. but it does hurt a lil#but alas. tis the nature of creating and posting things. not everything's gonna be received well and that's fine#it does suck to see a fic i put so much time and effort and love and part of myself into flopping so hard#not because i wrote it for anyone's sake other than my own#but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want people to enjoy the things i create. that's like. a normal and common desire#and i think i maybe killed it before it could get going with how i tagged it and the bigass disclaimer at the beginning#i think those turn a lot of ppl off that might otherwise read and maybe even find that they enjoy it??#but i would rather over-warn ppl for the triggering and non-canon aspects than under-warn them and potentially trigger or upset someone#and i can't blame ppl that subscribed for some Other thing when they open their email and see a notif that i posted smthn#and it's a mile of upsetting/negative sounding tags for a fic abt a guy they either don't know or don't wanna see mischaracterized#and so of course they unsub and that's okay. it's okay.#anyways. enough bitching abt my fic not doing well. i don't have much room to complain!#most of my stuff is fairly well received imo. so i can stand to have a flop fic every once in a while. gotta balance things out lmao#the good thing is it's already fully written so the lack of engagement can't stop me!! there's no motivation to kill! it's done already!#anyways. i'll post a chapter a day as planned and then it'll be out of my system in a week and i can post other stuff again finally#next up will be an [N]MbD oneshot. then i'll finally post the Dew Ghost Band OCD fic. then another [N]MbD oneshot ehehe#and thennn ES Ch.5! fucking finally. i can't wait to continue that story#the Dew fic is a oneshot too btw. once AEIWNF is fully posted then the only multi-chapter project i'll have is ES. and that's Enough
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I hate resellers. Like a lot. like okay I get it, sometimes that's the only way someone can keep themselves on their feet. I'm not mad at them. I'm pissed about people who clearly don't need to go thrifting and reselling who do it anyway and it's like bro. Come on. Don't you feel a little bad? don't you know that thrifting is already getting more expensive??
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hangryyeena · 1 year
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hiding out in my Ryoma corner and avoiding Danganronpa fans on Twitter 🧯🛡️
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ribcagewolf · 1 year
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tw ed :[ sowwy
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ween-kitchens · 1 month
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kinda venty/rant thing in tags cause im embarassed by it and dont wanna put it in a post HDJSK
#not that tags are. any less visible than a post#i honestly have no idea why this feels safer but it does so like#im gonna take advantage of this loophole my brain has created for me#anyway#i am being very dumb recently and i dont really know why?#i mean it's social anxiety but i dont know why it's so promenant right now cause i've not had too much of a problem with it for a lil while#my brain has convinced me once again that all my friends are just kinda. putting up with me and don't really like me all that much#which. i hope i'm wrong#yk these are the things i would love to be proven wrong about#but in the process of my brain bein stupid i have kinda. left a bunch of discord servers that i care about#i've been fixated on what i'm 'allowed' or 'supposed' to say recently and i got too freaked out by not knowing if i was 'allowed' to#say anything that was more self indulgent in case everyone got mad at me or i was ignoring someone by accident so i just kinda left#and now im worried that ive made it seem like i was mad at people in those servers cause i wasn't saying anything for a little while and#then i just left without saying anything#i tend to isolate myself if im worried ive done something wrong which does end up with me in dumb situations#equally idk if i should actually like. say any of this#i genuinely have no idea what the best way of aproaching this is#like. do they want to know? or would i just be dumping a bunch of shit on people who dont know how to help#cause i dont wanna do that cause thatd just be a lil rude#i get freaked out if someone just Tells me a huge thing and i cant help them with it cause i wanna help but i have no idea how#which i dont wanna do to someone else cause. i mean obviously GDSHJ#anyway uh#my hopes is that someone involved reads this and knows im not mad it's just my dumb brain#but also i dont want anyone to read this cause im being very dumb#this is all very silly#the bright side is that my depression means im not actually feeling any emotions about this#which doesnt sound like a huge bright side but yk im kind of chilling a bit#vent#cw vent#tw vent
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fingertipsmp3 · 11 months
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Why do I never trust myself. I've lived in this body for 27 years, I literally know when it's getting sick, but I was like nooo, it's just because I'm sleep deprived and on my period and autumn sometimes does weird things to my body. Stupid. Stuuuuuupid
#i'm sitting here right now in web dev class... well we're on a break atm actually#it makes no difference though because i'm comprehending absolutely nothing whatsoever#i keep having to turn my camera off because i don't want people to see me continuously coughing and blowing my nose#i feel so lousyyyyy how did this happen. it happened so fast. this morning i just had a scratchy sore throat#i sat down in a class In Which I Need To Have My Camera On and my nose was immediately like 'quick let's do an impression of niagara falls'#i'm not comprehending any part of class. i don't know if it's the lack of sleep or my sickness getting to me#but it honest to god feels like we're zooming. we JUST learned what a function is and my mans is like 'write one and invoke it'#i'm sorry WHAT. invoke the function? like summoning a demon??? sir.#and when i tell you i copied his code EXACTLY but my shit still wouldn't show up in the console log... i'm sick of this#it doesn't help that i have this absolutely hopeless crush on one of my classmates so i was desperately writing down everything i find#annoying about him to try to give myself the ick. i fear it's too late though. i mean if his weird squeaky voice and the fact that he's#balding hasn't put me off; i don't think his weird room will either#it's not even weird. it just is suspiciously clean and devoid of personality. and his bedframe is weird. anyway#(there's nothing wrong with balding it just super doesn't look good on him. plus i like a good head of hair. i like something to hang onto)#MOVING ON. i've just sent a message cancelling physio tomorrow because i can't go and infect this woman who is the only reason i'm mobile#i've NEVER texted her before though because i booked the first appointment online and the rest in person and i usually just. show up#this is gonna be the first appointment i've missed since we began in june. please clap#i just hope to fucking god i have the right number lmao like i got it from her email but. help#i think i'm liable for a 50% cancellation fee because it's less than 24 hours... fucking kill me now#i'm so mad at myself for not cancelling this morning. i KNEW i was sick i was just in denial#this is because i ate a piece of sausage roll that had been in my niece's weird little hand isn't it.#she's a toddler with permanent postnasal drip and i have a terrible immune system because i don't leave the house. such is life#look it was eat the roll or allow her to leave it on the ground in a really nice shop I WASN'T DOING THAT#personal
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theminecraftbee · 3 months
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the case of docm77 v zombiecleo: a very incomplete summary of events
i, of course, strongly recommend going to doc's video (or bdubs, cleo, joe, or skizz's, once they exist) and watching the whole thing for yourself i could NOT stop laughing. but for those of you who want a vague summary of some stuff that happens in the courtroom:
bdubs is insisting on being called "your highness" as opposed to "your honor".
we START with bdubs explaining he has set up a dramatic five-strike system; if either side gets five strikes (things that upset bdubs lol) he will "uh, not give them the death penalty, but--"
doc immediately tries to use this to take advantage of the system and get cleo strikes.
he instead accidentally immediately murders his own counsel.
it has been like One Minute.
"just in case anyone dies, there's a jury deliberation room under construction, there's a bed in there"
bdubs is paying everyone a diamond block for showing up if they listen to his judgement. help.
"thrust his sword into said swine" so skizz's opening speech is GREAT.
"wow, that was really good. but the camera is over here, so if you could do that again and look into the camera for me--"
"defense, first off, how do you plead?" (doc, grasping for his vague knowledge of american legal dramas) "i plead the fifth. i plead the fifth. uh. right?"
joe, in his opening speech: "this is esteemed around the world as a place where two adults who act like children can come to have their differences settled by you in the most entertaining manner."
HELP. "cleo is bringing to the court not an affair between two adults with an unsettled matter, but an adult and a large baby."
HELP IS JOE'S DEFENSE THAT DOC IS A LARGE BABY AND THEREFORE CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS ACTIONS.
joe: "you know, cleo has a lot of communication problems." bdubs, with great feeling: "yikes."
cleo, under her breath: "i'm gonna kill him."
"just a minute i'm setting up my lawyer", ren says, carrying the armor stand he had in the stands with him to the bench and putting false's head on it,
ren: "i cannot recall." bdubs: "YOU CAN'T RECALL WHAT HAPPENED?" ren: "i cannot recall if i cannot recall."
why is skizz doing a foghorn leghorn accent now,
skizz, about doc: "this is proof this man likes to intimidate, that he gets off on it." no one comments on this phrasing.
sorry ren making an armor stand falsesymmetry as his lawyer and companion in the stands is so funny.
"this is more evidence cleo is a poor communicator. she can't control her man--"
joe is very clearly just trying to make everyone in the room mad and it's really funny.
HELP. BDUBS BUILT A HEADS AND TAILS MACHINE TO DECIDE IF THEY'RE GOING TO ALLOW OBJECTIONS.
anyway it rolls tails so it overrules skizz's objection.
skizz's accent and vocabulary just keeps getting more and more exaggerated i think he's going for approximately benoit blanc,
beef: "he forcefully approached us and said he's the guy who wants all the wood." cleo and doc, snorting and giggling at this as one,
i feel like i should note that bdubs has a fireworks crossbow that he's calling his "whip" and hitting people with when they do something he considers wrong.
this leads me to wonder if bdubs thinks whipping is normal in a courtroom...?
i think its really funny that skizz is actively doing like, correct types and moments to do an objection, and it almost sounds like good lawyering, and then IMMEDIATELY bdubs goes "it's time to HEADS AND TAILS!!!" and breaks that illusion completely.
"well, it's heads, objection sustained, strike that from the record." joe: "well then i guess you'll never know what my point was." beat of silence. bdubs: "never mind, let's just add a strike, and you can say it,"
"i don't know how the esophagus entered this situation at all?" "let's pray it didn't. geez." "i was not thinking of doc's esophagus when i built the giant fish for his hourglass." <- this only barely makes more sense in context,
"no further questions your honor." "seriously???"
every time joe calls doc either a baby or a manchild is SO FUNNY. why is this his argument. it's SO FUNNY.
"but he has not proven mens rhea, which you your highness are very familiar with but for the viewers at home is not a gendered form of diarrhea--"
cleo, to doc: "doc are you sure you want to win this one?" doc, in clear and obvious distress: "i'm not sure of anything anymore man i just, i don't know,"
bdubs then interrupts to do the sponsored segment of court.
"the tall claims court is brought to you by!" bdubs puts a disc in. 13 starts playing. "shoot that's the spooky record. that's the worst one." he continues with his bamboo shop sponsored segment spiel anyway, with 13 continuing to play,
"i'm not going to ask for money, i'm just asking for a simple injunction against doc. he won't be allowed to use diamonds for redstone anymore." "WHAT??? THERE'S LIMITS TO THIS, OKAY????" "calm down doc, we're not gonna--" "WHAT NO WHAT CALM DOWN???"
"cleo i have to say that's way better than anything skizz said. skizz was talking and all i heard was bla bla bla bla bla but that was real heartfelt. if you're thinking about paying him, maybe don't."
doc: "i want to make peace and love that's all i care about i'm just a humble boutiquer"
"i felt like as her friend i needed to teach her what it feels like to lose something" i love how deranged that is doc keep going
"but it happened and i think i'm insane, right," doc says, then nods at joe.
"yeah this is really good" cleo responds, perfectly happy with the idea of doc declaring himself insane for no good reason,
cleo: "doc is just completely unhinged when people mess with his redstone, and i feel like my punishment would take away that emotional bond."
joe: "objection your honor, my client is unhinged in every context."
i like how this is "make fun of doc" day.
bdubs: "i'm going to deliberate quickly then i'll come back with my judgement." (turns around for like five seconds.) "and i'm back!"
HELP DOC HAS BEEN BANISHED TO A SINGLE BLOCK IN THE SKY WITH A CHEST ON IT FOR TWO WEEKS
THREE IF HE TOUCHES THE GROUND
AIR JAIL...........
bdubs adjourns court. doc, immediately: "WHAT THE HELL JOE??" "i did my best, man :/"
"DO YOU KNOW THE VEINS ON MY NECK ARE ABOUT TO EXPLODE????"
jevin in the background of doc losing his shit just kinda murdering skizzleman for fun,
doc's main objection to the sky island is "BUT I HAVE THINGS TO DO :(((((("
doc ends the video standing here:
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in conclusion: yeah this seems like a very fair trial with no ridiculous elements at all. very serious and befitting the sanctity of court. yes. you should watch it for a very serious hermitcraft experience,
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i-cant-sing · 13 days
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Time Traveller AU part 12
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here. Part 9 is here. Part 10 is here. Part 11 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
You and Silas stared at each other.
"What do you mean "okay"?"
You nod. "Okay, I'll marry you."
He looked at you suspiciously. "Why?"
"Why not?"
"That is not an answer." He frowned, making you sigh as you turned your body to face him completely. "Look, you're going to pay me anyways right?" He nodded. "So, I need the money, and well... lets just say I have nothing else left to lose. Maybe I'm just bored."
Bored? More like pissed at the universe and I will not let it beat me to the ground anymore. I wont go out without causing chaos and maybe if someone tries to kill me again, I will perhaps consider disrupting the historical timeline to make the universe itself combust and unravel. If I'm suffering, I'm taking the universe along!
Silas gave you an incredulous look, before shrugging in defeat. "Very well, then."
"Wait-" You stop him from getting up. "Why did you choose me? Actually, why do you need a wife?"
He rolled his eyes, standing up, you following along. "Come on, Silas. Tell me. Is it cause I'm pretty? Smart-"
"You dressed as a man."
What?
"What?"
He looked down at you. "What? You didnt think I'd spot you in that poor disguise at the newspaper office that day?"
Silas saw me that day? He recognised me?
"How did you even-" He scoffed. "I'm intelligent. And I have eyes. I notice everyone and everything." He turned around and began walking away.
"Wait!" You ran after him. "That still doesnt answer my question! You're marrying me because I dressed like a man? What- you're attracted by that-"
"Stop talking." Silas cut you off abruptly. "I chose you because you work at the newspaper, not because you're a man."
"Oh. So you need someone to write out articles singing your praises?Cant you just pay someone to do that?"
He rolled his eyes. "No. I dont need someone to sing my praises. I need you to be the mole there. I want you to report everything that happens at the paper, specifically about the murders thats been on going these days."
Murders? Murders-
"The White Chapel murders?" He nodded. "I need the papers to focus on them, not on me or who I am marrying. I need them to put the pressure on the cops to catch that sick bastard! Not idolise him with that stupid alias-"
"Jack the Ripper." You finish for him. He breathes heavily, anger radiating off him. "Yes, that. Because its only causing people to either admire him for killing off those prostitutes or fear him, letting the idea of them terrorise them!"
"I see. But... why do you need to get married to me for that? I mean, if you pay me, I could just report to you everything from there, including his letters."
Silas looked at you in slight annoyance, as if mad that you couldnt figure out his motives.
"The papers are focusing on me and my marriage. If I get married, the news will only run for a week or two before diverting their attention to the papers. And before you ask why I'm marrying you specifically instead of someone much better suited to my tastes-" okay, not gonna take that insult to heart. "- I told you, you work at the paper, which means you'll report everything to me. And if I were to marry someone more influential, the papers will continue to write about us for longer. But you? You're a nobody- believe me, I checked. You have no family, dont come from nobility, so no one will talk about you. "
Great. "Wow, you do know how to flatter a woman."
Silas smirked. "Trust me, "a woman" would be flattered-" You shot him a glare before he could finish off his joke.
-
Silas and you got married later that night. He arranged an out-of-town priest, some official documents, and two witnesses for the vows, which were his butler Cadbury and his wife, Erin, who acted as the best man and maid-of-honor. It was obvious that Silas wanted to keep this ceremony a secret, and he told you that the time will come to break the news.
When the priest asked him to kiss you, SIias pulled a face and said to skip over that part because you had bad breath. You did not. Jerk.
But you were glad you didnt had to kiss him, so you didnt bother kicking his shin. Maybe nearly dying so many times has made you grow a pair, or maybe its the fact that you dont actually consider this a real marriage because a Nikkah (an Islamic wedding) ceremony did not happen, so technically, you're still single, but you're surprised at how... calmly you've come to terms with everything.
Silas let you go back to you house, because the marriage was the still a secret so there's no use keeping you around at his place. Besides, he needs you to continue working on the murders.
Honestly, you do kind of want to find out who Jack the Ripper is. Any historian worth his salt, dreams of this very opportunity you've been given- to find out the man behind all the horrendous, gut wrenching murders.
Colin watched you get up from your desk and go to the corner office where Will was working on the murders. Poor Will. Colin pitied the lad- he had to deal with the gruesome details of the murders, write out the articles in details that are just pallatable enough for the readers, only to be rejected by the editor who wanted the front page news to be about Silas FitzGeorge.
What were you doing there? Colin didnt think it was best for you to go in there, after the depressing weeks you'd barely pulled yourself through. Grisly details of a killing spree might not be what you need at the moment.
"Hey Will!" You walk in his office, changing your voice to that of a man.
"Holmes." He acknowledged you briefly, his hair a mess as well his desk. If anyone knew how giddy you were everytime someone in the office called you Sherlock Holmes, you'd be labelled a loser for sure.
"Still working on those murders, eh?" You walk closer to his desk. "Any leads on who the mystery man might be?"
"No." He glared at you. "I would, if the coppers were to do their job and the editor published my work, but noooo. God forbid we miss any details on that FitzGeorge fella and his tragic life. Cry me a fucking river-" Ah, a fellow Silas hater. You can work with that.
"Let me help you." You offer him. Will raises his brow, before scoffing. "Unless you can somehow have the editor publish my articles, I dont think you can help me. Besides, I dont need an amateur disturbing me because he's just wants to see a dead body."
Amateur? Pfft, I'll have you know I was a minor celebrity on Wattpad at just age 11 when I wrote Sherlock Holmes fanfics-
"How about this? If I can convince the editor to post your work, will you let me help?"
Will stares at you, studying you for a moment.
"Fine."
You walk out of his office and go to your desk where Colin is already waiting for you.
"Hey, Colin." You greet him, sitting down as you pull a blank sheet of paper from your drawer and start writing on it.
"Hey... Sherlock. What were you doing in-" He leans down to read what you're writing. "Jack The Ripper- why are you writing about him?"
You shrug. "Why not? He's an important figure to talk about and needs to be caught. If the papers bring enough attention to him, it'll put pressure on the authorities to work harder to catch him."
"I get that, but- I mean, you already have the FitzGeorges to write about and what about other douches in high society?" Colin tried to persuade you.
"I'll write about them too, in fact. Dont worry about it. I'm going to bring you some real dirt soon." You tell him before picking up the pen again, but Colin grasps your wrist, stopping you.
"Y/n, I just dont think that you should be working on this right now-"
"Colin." You cut him off, freeing your wrist. "I'm grateful for your concern for my well being, but I assure you- I am not made of glass. I can handle my business. Besides, this is something that has intrigued me. Let me work on it, please." You say before returning to writing down your points on the homicidal maniac.
-
After work, you changed out of your disguise and went to the antique store on Regent street, or what was left of it.
You knew there was no chance, but something inside you hoped that your time machine had survived.
The store was burnt down, and since the interior was mainly made of wood, most of the antiques had burnt to ashes or at least, damaged beyond repair and could not be sold.
You stood outside the ruins off the store, the property was sealed off and guards stood outside it, not letting you in.
"Please, I just need to-"
"Like I said, miss. We were given specific instructions not to let anyone in." The guard cut you off, annoyed by your insistence.
Before you could argue again, someone walked up behind you.
"Y/n." Henry looked at you. He was dressed well, his hair combed and face shaved, well kept as he usually was but his eyes.... he had bags under his eyes. Like he hadnt slept in days.
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, um- I just wanted to see if my stuff is still there."
He nodded at his guards to step aside, leading you inside the shop.
"Look around. See if you can find it." Henry's tone was flat, as if he already knew.
Still, you looked around. You searched the whole place, not even finding the remains off your machine. And how could you? It was made of mostly plastic and very cheap metal, its not like you had funds to make it indestructible.
Or incombustible.
"Satisfied?" He asked you when you finally stopped looking for it.
You huff. "If you'd just given it to me before-"
"Y/n." He cut you off. "I lost my store. I lost my employee who was working in here, who was blasted to pieces. I lost more money than you can ever imagine and you have the nerve to stand there and try to blame it on me? After I'd given you the courtesy to look through my property to put your mind to ease?"
He admonished you, all while barely letting his rage slip through his voice. He was holding back from blowing up on you, but it did not help because you still felt small.
Because he is right. He lost an employee. He lost money. He lost too, and yet you have the audacity to complain to him like he was somehow at fault.
And he wasnt. Its not like he bombed his store.
"Do you know who did it?" You ask, diverting your eyes to avoid his piercing gaze.
"No one "did" it. It was an accident." Henry looked at the floorboard. "Apparently, there was gunpowder in some of the artefacts that came from China that day. The employee probably didnt check it when he put it on the table, next to a candle. Then one got lit up and it set off all the others, blowing up the whole store."
That... sounds like a big coincidence.
"Henry, are you sure someone wasnt behind this-"
"Y/n, I dont have time to entertain your wild theories right now. I have to deal with insurance and other things. Please leave." He cut you off abruptly.
Without giving him another moment to bruise your self esteem, you stormed out of his store. By the time you reached home, it was dark, which wasnt the best idea with a murderer on the loose- as the boys made it clear.
"Do you have any idea what he's capable of?! Have you seen the crime scenes?!" Liam yelled at you.
"No. But its not like I'm a prostitute, so he wont hurt me." You answer from your seat between Benjamin's legs, who insisted on brushing the knots out of your hair and placing some essential oils in your hair.
Liam looked at you like you'd grown two heads. "How would he know that?!"
You leaned forward, frowning. "Okay if you're saying that you cant the difference between a prostitute and me, then thats just insulting to me and to you as a police officer!"
Shepherd suppressed a chuckle as he handed a drink to Liam to calm him down. As they continued to joke around, you mind went to your time machine.
Sure, you could try making it from scratch again. It'll be difficult, and not just because there isnt enough technology to make the whole thing by yourself, but also because the mere idea of building a time machine could have you lobotomised.
So yes, one of the reasons why you agreed to marry Silas was because of his money that would not only let you buy expensive raw materials but also allow you to have a space to make the machine in secret.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Colin left to see who it was, returning moments later with a huge box in his hand.
"Its for you." He set the box down and handed you the letter that came with it. You read the letter while the boys opened the box-
"Tomorrow. 7:30 pm sharp.
Dont be late, missus."
The "missus" part gave away that it was from Silas. What was he planning? Were you supposed to go to his place or was he going to pick you up? What was going to happen tomorrow?
"Woah! Who is this from?" Shepherd asked as he looked at the fancy dress in the box. He pulled it out of the box, the gown flowing down effortlessly. "It looks expensive- this is expensive, right? Its expensive." He stated before repeating his question to you. "Who is it from, Y/n?"
You folded the letter as you saw them all looking at you. "I... I might have a date-"
"With who?" Benjamin asked sharply.
"I-" You sigh. "I'll let you know after the date. Lets see how it goes first."
"Oh, come on! Just tell us!" Liam probed, but you took the dress from him, putting it back in the box and taking it to your room, not noticing how silent Colin had went.
-
You stood in front of the mirror, looking at your reflection while Ben did your hair. Wearing the black velvet gown that had a white blouse and long skirt underneath, puffy regency era sleeves and a belt at the bust, you looked elegant.
Seeing as you had no jewellery to pair the outfit with, Ben styled your hair down, curling the locks and putting a dainty black silk bow on the back, trimming the front of your hair so that they framed your face.
"There's a carriage waiting for you!" Shepherd informed you before going back to gushing about the rich fella you'd managed to bag.
You turned around for Ben for the finishing touches. He smiled softly at you, taking your hands in his and squeezed them gently.
"Dont force yourself to do anything you're not comfortable with, hm? Just because he gave you this dress doesnt mean he can do anything he wishes." You nodded, returning his smile. "And remember, you have me and the boys to beat anyone who upsets you, Y/n." He winked making you giggle.
Standing outside the carriage, you looked up and waved to the 3 boys standing in the window before getting inside.
"Ah, I hope she knows how to use that knife I gave her." Liam mumbled, making Shepherd yell at him.
"You gave her a knife?!"
"What? She needs to protect herself when there's a murderer on the lose-"
As the two continued to bicker, Benjamin went to his room and packed some scissors and razors in a small bag, before leaving the room.
"Where are you going?" Colin asked, finally speaking for the first time that evening. Sitting on the sofa chair, he'd been nursing on a drink the entire time you were getting ready for your drink. He kept quiet, pretending to be to engrossed with reading the paper to notice you getting dressed for your date night.
"I... have a client." Ben said, putting on his top hat and leather gloves before wearing his coat.
"This late?" Colin raised a brow.
Ben gave a nod.
"He... he needs a haircut urgently."
Colin stared at him before sighing, picking up his drink.
"Alright. Be careful. Its foggy out there."
-
Sitting inside the carriage alone, you wondered where the buttler was taking you. Since Silas isnt here with you, then its likely that you're being taken to him at the FitzGeorge estate.
You take a deep breath, fiddling with the velvet of your dress. So tonight will be the night he announces his marriage to you. Or maybe not. I mean, if he did plan on doing that then perhaps he'd be giving you some pointers on how to win over his family? To get their approval? It was a big thing for high society, if not for someone who is loosely attached to royalty.
Maybe thats why he called you over tonight. To soft launch you to his family, something like- "hey, this is Y/n, a girl I fancy. I think she might be the one." so that it seems a lot more believable when he does introduce himself as your husband, probably a few weeks or a month from now.
Yes. Silas doesnt seem like the type to just spring up the union on his family out of nowhere. He is English, he is noble, he wouldnt be one to cause a scene.
The carriage stopped after sometime, and you could hear people chattering outside. Your door suddenly opened, but before you could step out, someone stepped in.
It was Silas.
He sat across from you, wearing a formal dress black suit, his hair styled properly. If your dressing didnt give it away, then his did- it was definitely a black-tie event.
He gave you a nod of acknowledgement, looking you up and down.
"Here, wear this." He handed you a velvet lined box. Opening it, you saw a beautiful pearl necklace and matching tear drop earrings.
"Oh, this is... beautiful." You said in awe. "You could've sent this along with the dress, I would've worn my hair differently-"
"No, I didnt want to risk you running off with it." Silas casually insulted you as he began opening the door. "Wear this and dont talk to me or approach me in there."
"Wait, what?" You looked at him confusion.
Silas huffed in irritation. "I'm going to go back inside. You'll walk in after five minutes, and when you do, you will not talk to me, or approach me or do anything that gives away that you know me."
"Silas-" But he left before you could question what he was on about.
So... he wasnt planning on announcing his marriage to you tonight? Wearing the jewellery, you followed his instructions and exited the carriage exactly five minutes later.
But instead of seeing the FitzGeorge house, you were standing in front of a... palace.
A palace you're seen quite a few times.
Buckingham palace.
"What am I...?" You whispered to yourself before composing yourself as other guests began walking past you.
As you ascended the stairs to the entrance where guards stood, you wondered if they'd let you in. Surely, without Silas by your side or an official invitation, they wouldnt let you in. You watched a few guests holding an envelope with a royal seal, an invitation they showed to the guards before being let in.
Heart pounding as you feared the embarrassment you're about to face, you reached the guards who looked at you for a few moments, trying to recognise you before their eyes fell on your necklace and they let you pass.
Ah, so thats why he gave you the jewellery. If you looked like you belonged there, then you probably did.
Why am I here though?
You looked around and saw many people inside, all belonging from high society. This definitely wasnt the place where Silas was going to announce his marriage. So why did he invite you here?
Maybe he wants me to use this as an opportunity to get dirt on high society?
Yes, perhaps, but how would this serve him? Is there a specific person he wants me to get dirt on? Someone I need to write about in the papers?
Silas, what game are you playing?
You spotted him standing in the corner, talking with his cousins and uncles, though you noticed many girls looking at him. Of course, he still is the "most eligible bachelor" to them. If they knew how rude he was, maybe they'd change their opinion.
Walking through the crowd, you began listening on conversations, trying to pick up on interesting bits. It was the usual obnoxious bragging about their wealth, some scandals here and there, disturbing comments about women, etc. Nothing particularly interesting.
Fortunately, you werent bored for long as the royal butler announced the arrival of the hosts. It hadnt truly hit you where you were standing until you heard her name-
"Her Majesty, Queen Victoria-"
Queen Victoria. The Queen Victoria.
You could feel goosebumps raising on your skin, your eyes widening as you realised you're looking at one of the most iconic figures in history. Alive. She's alive and she's walking right in front of you-
She's short. They were right about that. Standing next to her husband, Prince Albert, she looked even shorter. But she looked incredibly happy, full of youth as she stood next to him, unlike all the paintings who depicted her as this angry old widow.
She looked absolutely beautiful.
Her children stood behind her in order, all smiling at their mother. Her daughters, you recognised them all, looked just as beautiful. You recognised her eldest, Edward VII, a 20-something old boy who would end up being hated by his mother and blamed for his father's death. He looked nervous, standing beside her and you could see he was just itching to leave her side and avoid any more scrutiny.
The Queen began speaking.
"Thank you everyone for joining us on this pleasent occasion." She looked around. "Tonight, we are going to welcome a member to our family, even though he has always been a part of us. But now, we will make things official."
"Silas FitzGeorge." She called suddenly. You saw Silas step forward in front of the queen, bowing his head curtly before looking at her confidently.
"You're my cousin Georgie's grandson, and I have no doubt when I say that if he were here tonight, he'd be just as proud of the young man you've become as I am. Our families may have had some issues in the past, but I have always accepted you as a part of me. Over the years, you've only proven me right with how capable you've become on your own, without seeking a helping hand in your adversities. You have made us all immensely proud, as well as your predecessors for being the first man in our family to attend Oxford university. Watching you start businesses and expand your empire, I have no doubt that you will only continue to make the royal family and Britian proud. Therefore, I would like to offer my support and make good on my promise that I made to you when you were a child."
She turned around and a servant handed her a document.
"I hereby make Silas FitzGeorge, the Duke of Westminster."
Oh. Ohhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh-
This was Silas's dukedom ceremony. Why is this a huge deal? Because his grandfather, Prince George was once estranged from the royal family and stripped off his royal duties and benefits when he married Sarah Fairbrother, which meant their descendents were all illegitimate and not recognised by the crown.
But tonight, with Silas becoming a duke, its like a welcome back to the family. That too, by the same woman who had in essence- ostracised his family.
And with Dukedom comes other benefits, money, property, influence. Not to mention that Silas has become the duke of Westminster, as in THE WESTMINSTER! One of the wealthiest dukedoms to get, and also where Westminster palace is, the place which is the meeting place for the Parliament of United Kingdom. It'll allows Silas to have a say and play around with politics.
This is a huge gesture by the queen, and if Silas wasnt the most eligible bachelor before, then he definitely is one.
You watched the queen sign the documents first, before giving it to Silas who signed it. Everyone cheered and clapped for the young duke before stopping as Victoria began speaking again.
"Now, I would like to share more good news." She smiled at Silas, who stood beside her now. "I would like to announce the new duke's betrothal to my daughter, Helena."
What?
The guests clapped again as you saw Silas looking ahead, purposely avoiding your gaze. The queen beamed as she looked back at Helena, who was blushing.
So this is why Silas didnt want you to talking to him. He knew he was going to marry Helena, and he didnt want anyone to even doubt that he's associated with you in any way. Is this his way of telling you that the sham marriage between you two has ended?
Victoria encouraged Silas to say a few words.
Silas looked down briefly, a small smile playing on his lips. "Oh, wow. I am grateful that her majesty has awarded me dukedom. I dont have enough words to express how thankful I am to you." He looked up and you saw a mischievous glint in his eyes. "However, I was only informed of this ceremony and not of my betrothal beforehand."
The queen's head snapped in his direction, as did all of the royals, but Silas continued speaking unfazed.
"I wish I had been told about this earlier to avoid this awkward situation uhhh..." he chuckled nervously, but you could see he was anything but nervous. "I am honoured to be even considered for the princess's hand, your majesty, but I'm afraid I am already married." He announced, looking straight at you.
The hall interrupted into gasps and whispers before they parted the way to let Silas make his walk to you.
With a charming smile, a dimple on his left cheek, he approached you, pulling you into his arms as he leaned down to press a kiss to your temple.
"Hi, sweetheart." He whispered loud enough for the onlookers to hear. Your eyes widened, your face flushed at the feeling of everyone's eyes and at his word.
"Si-" The words died down your throat as he placed an arm around your back and pulled you close to his side, showing you off.
"This is Y/n, my darling wife."
With Silas's announcement, the hall went silent once again. Your throat went dry at being put in the spotlight, and your eyes flickered from one guest to another, until finally falling on the queen's, who looked... pissed.
Finally, it was Prince Albert who broke the silence and announced dinner had been served. As the guests began walking out of the hall, Silas lead you out of the palace and to the carriage where his grandmother was waiting for you.
"Go home, now. I'll see you soon." Was all Silas said to you before whispering something to his grandmother, who beamed and nodded, patting his cheek.
"Come on, Y/n. Its getting late, now." Sarah said as she lead you into the carriage, taking her seat next to you, completely unaware of the eyes that had been following you since the moment you'd left home.
-
Silas returned inside, seeing his uncles smirking with pride at the game he'd just played but instead of going to them to celebrate his victory, he went to Prince Albert and Queen Victoria who seemed to be arguing in a low tone in the corner while the guests were being seated in the dining hall.
Clearing his throat, he got their attention.
"Your majesties, I am so sorry for not informing you about my union with Y/n. Its just my wife is terribly shy and we wanted to keep this marriage a secret. But I understand how this creates an embarrassing situation for the crown, and I would like to humbly turn down my dukedom-"
"No." The queen cut him off, her eyes void of any emotion. "The dukedom was awarded to you for your achievements, not because you were asked to marry my daughter. Helena is not something to pawn off to just anyone."
Silas offered a sympathetic smile. "Of course, your majesty. I'm sure you'll find a better suitor for the princess." He took his bow before turning around to enter the dining hall while Victoria stared at his back.
"Are you really still going to keep him as the duke of Westminster?" Albert asked his wife.
She was fuming. But only Albert could tell.
"What choice did I have?" Victoria asked, still glaring at the young boy who dared to play her. "If I took the dukedom away after announcing it publicly, it would've been a far more embarrassment for the crown. They would call us "cheap"."
"We cant let him get away with it." Albert whispered. "Its Westminster. We may rule it, but the duke will still be able to influence the government."
"You think I'm not aware he wants to play politics?" Victoria snapped, before softening her tone. "I wont let him get away with it, Albert. He's just a boy. I am a queen. I wont let him or anyone humiliate us."
Silas sat down besides his cousins as his uncles raised their glasses to him. He sipped his drink, a satisfied grin resting on his face. He knew exactly what he did. Even though no one actually told him that the dukedom came with marriage to the princess, because how callous would it be to ask him to marry her when no one would give up the opportunity of becoming the queen's son-in-law, Silas knew he was expected to marry Helena.
But no one said it. No one asked him. Its the English, they never say what they mean outright, choosing to read between the lines and do what is expected of them, because its more artful, more honourable this way.
Not that Silas could care about traditions. Why would he, when he planned on exacting his revenge?
The queen only came to offer her support when he became successful enough on his own. Where was she when his parents died and his sister was left to take care of him? Sure, Victoria attended the funeral and "promised" to take care of him. But she also said she'd only do that if he proved himself. His grandmother and his sister, Daisy were the ones who raised him.
And now, years later when he got into Oxford without using his family name, without saying "I am related to the queen", when he used his skills to create a powerful business empire that has the potential to influence the British industries, she wants him?
Sure, Westminster has its benefits, but Silas doesnt need Westminster. Westminster needs Silas. He could topple over the government and even shut down Britain herself with just his influence alone. Being a duke just has given him a public platform, an acknowledgement and most importantly, backing from the crown.
And you? Marrying you wasnt just because you happened to be around. Oh no. Silas has plans for you, plans to use you and further his revenge. This is just the beginning.
-
Sarah dropped you back at your place after you insisted that you needed to inform your flatmates of your departure. She gave you a disapproving look when she found out you were living with 4 men and was very determined to have you move in with her and Silas at the FitzGeorge estate, but you were able to persuade her to let you stay the night at home one last time.
"There's something I need to tell you guys." You fiddled with your thumbs as they all sat down in front of you.
"I um... I'm married."
"What?" Shepherd asked. "And you still went on a date?"
"I went on a date with my husband-"
"And who is that?"
You took a deep breath.
"Silas FitzGeorge."
Everyone except for Benjamin broke into laughter.
"Yeah, good one. Seriously, who is it?"
You frowned. "Seriously. Its Silas FitzGeorge."
As you began explaining your situation, even showing them the jewellery that you definitely werent wearing before you left, they started to believe you.
"Y/n- you cant- you cant marry Silas. You cant just marry someone you barely know!" Colin argued.
"What? Havent you heard of "love at first sight"?" You ask but he was unamused. Sighing, you shrugged. "Look, its a marriage that will benefit us both mutually. He gets people nagging him to get married off his back and I get to use his money and influence to get dirt on high society! Besides, I can leave him anytime I want."
"Then leave him now, before its too late." Ben said, standing up as he approached you. He took your shoulders and gave them a firm squeeze. "If its money you're worried about, I'll help you. I can provide for you, Y/n. Dont get into bed with these rich bastards, you dont know how selfish they can be. I- I- dont want you to get hurt-"
"I wont, Benny." You grab his arms, assuring him. "Silas and I are working together. If I go down, so will he. He wont hurt me, he cant. Its too risky for him now, you know? He announced our marriage tonight in front of the queen!"
As you began telling him about how you met the queen and all, Colin quietly left the living room to pour himself another drink, something to knock his brain out so he doesnt have to think about you and Silas.
-
Next day, before the sun even rose, you had packed up a few of your things to go live with the FitzGeorges. All the boys were awake at that time, though Colin's eyes were bloodshot from apparently drinking the wrong liqour, so he sat quietly on the sofa, watching you.
Liam and Shepherd took your bags to put it in the carriage waiting outside, while Ben pulled you in for a hug.
"I'm just moving out, Benny! I'll still see you guys." You laugh, patting his back.
Ben kissed the crown of your head before tucking it under his chin, arms tightening around you. "Just know that you will always have a home here, with us. Dont hesitate to reach out for help. And if Silas or anyone every hurts you, I dont care how rich they are, Y/n. I will take care of them. You just- just come back to us, hm?"
You pulled away from him, wiping a lone tear from your eye. "You're the best, Benny." You whisper before going to Colin, who just stared at you with red eyes.
Leaning down, you poked his cheek. "Kinda wish you werent drunk when I said goodbye, but I guess it makes it easier." Colin continued to stare at you. You grabbed his hand, smiling gratefully at him. "Thank you for everything, Colin. You saved me. Truly." You gave his hand a firm squeeze before leaving, missing him mumble something under his breath.
The carriage took you to the FitzGeorge estate and you were a little disappointed to see only Sarah waiting to welcome you. Its not like you wanted Silas to make a grand gesture to welcome his bride, but you were kinda hoping he was going to ease you into his world while explaining the events of the previous night.
Sarah showed you around the house before leading you to Silas bedroom.
"Cadbury has already placed your bags in there." She turned to you. "This will be your space too, so do make changes to the place as you please."
You smiled shyly at her. Honestly, you dont know whether Sarah knows that Silas only married you for personal agenda, but she wasnt surprised when Silas announced you were his wife.
Sarah looked at you and she placed a hand on her chest, touched.
"Oh, I am so glad you're Silas's girl."
Silas's girl?
"When Silas told me he married you, I was only mad that he did it behind my back! But I suppose it is understandable... these FitzGeorge men always liked to make a statement when it came to love." Sarah said, fondly remembering her late husband.
Sarah continued to gush about you enough for you to know that you dont need to kiss her ass. You have her approval.
When she left, you looked around the large bedroom, Victorian and dark academia was the aesthetic. Wooden panels lined the room, the shelves were stocked with thick books, a study table in one corner, an ottoman chest seat in front of the bed. The entire room was illuminated by the large windows that opened into the balcony, overlooking the large gardens and the cold air of London.
Standing at his balcony, you couldnt help but wonder...
Silas definitely has to HAVE a mega douchebag personality if this was where he was raised.
I mean who wouldnt have an ego trip if they woke up to a view like this, a butler named CADBURY who probably brings him his bland tea and tells him about all the proposals he had, and Silas would just wave a hand in dismissal, telling his butler to reject them all on his behalf.
Silas lived like a king. Or at the very least, lived like the 1% of Britain.
Returning back into the room, you looked at the interior before a grin formed on your face.
Time to snoop around, Y/n. You made your way to his desk.
Lets see what secrets you're hiding, husband.
-
Silas walked in on you folding your clothes and placing them in his closet.
"What do you think you're doing?" He huffed, loosening his tie. He was still in his clothes from last night, having just returned home after celebrating with his uncles and cousins.
You turned to him, faking enthusiasm. "Hello to you too."
Silas rolled his eyes, sitting on his bed. "Dont touch my things." He began untying his shoes.
"Why? You worried my poverty would taint them?"
He looked you dead in the eyes.
"Yes."
"Haha." You close the closet and turn to him. "We need to talk."
He looked at you miserably. "Cant it wait-" "No."
"Fine, then. Go on, I'm listening." He leaned against the headboard while you took your place on the foot of the bed.
"Why didn't you tell me last night that we were going to the palace? Or that you were going to announce our marriage?"
Tired eyes looked at you. "I didnt want to risk you getting cold feet."
Okay. Fair enough.
You gave him a nod. "Fine. Still would've liked a heads-up." "I'll keep that in mind for next time. Good night-" He began closing his eyes when you spoke again.
"No. We still need to talk about our situation." You looked at your lap, smoothing your dress before looking at him again, only to find his tired eyes studying you.
"Silas, who knows that our marriage is not... real?"
"It is a real marriage. We signed proper documents and all." He told you. "What you mean to ask is who knows our marriage is like mutually beneficial business deal? The answer is- no one, except for my butler and his wife, who wont say a word. And I want it to stay that way."
You raised a brow. "So... what exactly is the image you're trying to sell to the world? That we're a young couple, madly in love?"
He shrugged. "Sure."
"Silas." Your tone turned serious. "If you want people to believe this fairytale you're creating, then you need to get your stories straight. And involve me in it too!"
He tilted his head at you before sighing. "Fine. Lets say... we met two months ago."
"Where?"
He grinned. "Ballet theatre. Near Oxford university."
"Ballet theatre- are you trying to use your grandparents story?"
He shrugged. "So what if I am? Besides, people will love it."
You glared at him, but he continued on with his story. "So we met at the ballet theatre, you fell madly in love with me the first time you saw me. Your exact words were- "Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, have I died and went to heaven to witness the utter beauty of an angel-"
"I have seen rodents looking better than you." You cut him off.
"You're ruining my story." He scolded you. "Fine, we can say that after you were mesmerised by my beauty, you stalked me for a few weeks until I finally said yes out of pity-"
"Silas."
He raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. I'll leave the details to you, just remember- we met at the theatre. Thats the most important part of the story."
"Okay, I'll add my version of the events, which you can read in the papers in a day or two." You stood up, walking over to the vanity. "I will be going to work from tomorrow. I'll tell your grandmother I'm going to visit some friends, and you'll drop me off at my old place where I'll change my clothes and then I'll go to the office."
"Very well." He turned his head to look at you. "But after you're done writing about us, continue working on the White Chapel murders."
You hummed, turning around. "Dont worry, I should be able to get access to the letters in a few days. Wait- Silas, didnt you say your friend owned the paper I worked for?" He nodded. "Well, can you ask him if he could let me, I mean- assign Sherlock Holmes to work on the case? You could bribe him with giving an exclusive interview about your marriage for the papers, in return, he has to let me work the murder story."
"Consider it done." Silas said, putting his arm over his eyes.
"Um, Silas?"
"What?" He asked, annoyed.
"Where am I to sleep?" With Sarah in the house, its not like you can occupy another room. It'll raise suspicion.
Silas removed his arm to look at you, before looking at his large bed.
You shake your head. "I am not sleeping in the same bed with you-"
"I wouldnt want that either." He said, grabbing a pillow. Your heart warmed at the gesture. He really was going to leave his bed for you, like the true gentleman-
Thud.
You looked at the pillow he'd thrown on the floor.
"There." He pointed before returning to bed.
"You want me to sleep on the floor?"
With his eyes closed, he replied. "You say that like you expected me to sleep on the floor."
"Well-"
"Its my room, my bed. Why would I sleep on the floor?"
"I dont know, whats the word- chivalry?!" You huffed, grabbing the pillow and walking near the closed balcony window. It was cold but you'd rather sleep with a pretty view than to wake up to Silas feet landing on your face.
Muttering curses under your breath, you soon fell asleep with your back turned to Silas. A few minutes later, he got off the bed and dropped a blanket on your sleeping body.
And they say chivalry is dead. He thought to himself, returning to his bed.
-
The next day, while dropping you off to work, you brought up the previous day's convo.
"I need something." Silas's gaze flickered from the window of the carriage to you. "What do you know about Henry Blackwood?"
Silas' looked bored again. "He's a fellow businessman, invests in people rather than companies, likes to keep his operations in the dark, which means he has secrets. His shop blew up some time ago, allegedly a "technical failure" but... I think someone did it."
"You think so too?" You asked, hopeful. "Do you know who?"
Silas shook his head. "No. His enemies, like his operations are secret. All I know is someone did it to send a message to him, blew up the shop deliberately while he was out."
A message?
"I want to get dirt on him." You watch Silas raise a brow at you. "Just... get me close to him, or to his people. I saw him talking to your uncles, maybe they know something?"
Silas shakes his head again. "My uncles talk to anyone who has money. Henry wouldnt ever invest in them, they couldnt manage a business for the life of them."
"And you? Would Henry invest in you?"
Silas nodded. "He's tried. I wasnt interested." He cut you off before you could even suggest the idea. "And I'm still not interested. But I'll get you close to him."
"Thank you." You settled back in your seat before remembering another request. "Silas?"
"What now?"
"Can I have some money?"
"Here's a pound-" You glared at him, making him sigh. "How much?"
"Mmhm, oh I dont know... just enough to buy a small house-"
"And why do you need a house?"
You looked at him dumbfounded. "Well, when our marriage goes to the sewers, I would like to have a roof over my head."
"And what if I say I dont intend on ending this marriage?" Your blood ran cold at his words.
"What?"
Silas tilted his head at you before chuckling. "Why have you turned pale? If anyone should be horrified at the prospect of staying married in this mismatch, completely unbalanced relationship, it should be me. Struck down, caught out of the lake in his prime, of both beauty and brain-"
"Oh God, please stop talking before blood starts pouring out of my ears."
"So you agree your voice is irritating enough to do that?" Silas remarked smirking.
"Shut up." You flared your nostrils at him. Why does he have to ruin my mood this early in the day?
He chuckled victoriously, looking out the window. "I'll get you the house. You dont need money for it." He looked at you, already knowing you'd be confused. He grinned, pointing to himself. "Duke of Westminster-" he then points at you. "Duchess of Westminster."
Of course. Now that you're married to the duke, you have a whole lot of land in your hands. You really can have a house anywhere you'd like.
The carriage stopped. "Off you go now, wife."
Entering the office, you were first greeted by Will, the man in charge on working on the White Chapel murders.
"Holmes! How did you do it?" He shook you by the shoulder gleefully. "How did you convince the boss to post my story next?!"
I married his friend. "Oh, I just... promised him an article. Once I give him that, we can work together on the murder story."
He nodded, ushering you to finish off your article first before helping him.
Making your way to your desk, you spotted Colin. "Hey, Colin-" But he walked right past you, as if he didnt hear you.
Maybe he didnt. You shrugged, sitting down at your desk as you began writing down the news about you and Silas.
-
"Oh, Mr Holmes has definitely written most accurately about you Y/n!" Sarah said as she read the papers at the breakfast table. "He calls you the "fairest maiden in town" and "beauty with brains"- oh, I couldnt agree more!"
You smiled, sipping your tea sheepishly while Silas rolled his eyes. Its been 3 days since you wrote an article announcing your marriage to the world, and the editor decided to post it on Sunday, when you and most of London had off from work, all tuning in to read "how the most eligible bachelor bagged the fairest maiden in town."
Sarah ate some of the dishes you'd prepared today. "These are absolutely delicious, Y/n! Silas, your wife-" A maid came in to inform her that there's someone at the door to meet her. As Sarah excused herself, you got up from your seat to serve Silas the food you'd made on Sarah's request.
Silas picked up his fork and took a bite, a smile forming on his lips.
"Have I ever told you how good of a cook you are?"
You blushed, looking down. "No-"
"Then why do you keep cooking?" He dropped his fork on the plate, pushing it aside. "Stop using my kitchen." He smirked as he drank his tea, watching rage take over your face.
"Listen you twat-"
Sarah came back rushing in, a worried look on her face. Silas immediately sat up. "What is it, nana?"
"The- there was someone here from the palace." She gulped. "They sent flowers and a letter congratulating you two on the marriage. They... they said they'd like to meet Y/n and- and welcome the new couple officially."
Silas understood Sarah's worry. The palace never writes to them. In fact, the last time they did, it was years ago when his parents had died.
Getting up from his seat, Silas wiped his face with a napkin before dropping it on the table. "Then we'll let them. We shall host the Queen."
"Si-" But he took her by the shoulders, easing Sarah's worry.
"Dont worry. This is our home, nana." We have the advantage.
Silas left to start making arrangements for hosting the queen at the estate, while Sarah ran around the house with the staff to prepare for the event that is a week from now. Seeing as you couldnt be of use there and everyone was too busy to give you any pointers on what to say or act when the queen arrives, you left the estate to explore the town. Or more specifically, return to the blown up vintage store.
Yep, you're still hoping your time machine survived.
When you arrived on Regent street, you saw the same men still guarding the store, so they probably still wouldn't have let you in. But you also saw Henry, who was leaving the store and in his carriage.
Deciding to follow him, you sneaked into the back of someone's carriage and rode it before jumping off it when it got near Henry's carriage. Fortunately, you didnt have to follow him for long as he got off on Piccadilly street soon and strolled into a place called "The Gentlemen's Club" and from the looks of the daunting bouncers standing outside, you knew you couldnt just stroll in like Henry.
You watched the people who seemed to walk into the club, mostly men, all dressed formally and looked like they were a part of the high society. You saw some women too, though most of them dressed scandalously, so you assume they were there to provide entertainment.
As the sun began setting, more and more people started entering the club and just when you were about to leave, you saw Henry walk out of the club, a frown settled on his face. You werent expecting him to leave the club so soon, not when more people had started going in there, to rave or whatever. If Henry was here for pleasure, then he came out too early. If he was here for business, then most of the club goers have just begun entering, which means that whoever he wanted to conduct business with was already in there. Someone who works at the club... maybe even owns it?
As you turned to leave, you felt someone bump into you.
"Watch where you're going!" The blonde haired woman shrieked at you before crossing the street to go to the club.
You huffed. Everyone's got a giant stick up their-
You whipped your head around, feeling someone watching you. And thats when you spot it- a shadowy figure of a man, standing in the window of the club, on the second floor. Henry? No, he left. Then...?
The shadow didnt move, staring at you until it creeped you enough to make you leave.
-
Silas finally sat down after working all day. Cadbury brought him his evening tea.
"How are the preparations coming along?" He asked his butler. Cadbury informed him of the arrangements he's made and the guest list he's written down that needs his approval before he sends out the invitations.
"And the seamstress will come tomorrow to make a gown for Miss Y/n-"
Silas cut him off. "No need. Send the seamstress to me first. I'll let her know what kind of clothes need to be made for the event, then she can take Y/n's measurements."
"As you wish, sir." Cadbury said, but Silas could see something troubling the young butler. They werent that apart in age, and both of them had practically grown together, each reading the other person well.
"What's the matter, Cadbury?" Silas set his teacup down.
Cadbury took a deep breath. "Its just- I dont understand why the palace is suddenly coming to visit you, after what happened at the dukedom ceremony. It was certainly... humiliating for them, so why would they be coming to welcome Miss Y/n into the family?"
Silas grinned. "They're coming to see who I replaced the princess with." He picked up his cup. "They couldnt break me down, so they're going to try their luck with the missus. There's another reason why the queen is coming, but you let me worry about that."
Cadbury looked concerned. "Then we should prepare Miss Y/n to make no mistakes."
"Dont worry, she wont." Silas smiled, making his butler even more confused. "Speaking of, did you observe her when she was cooking in the kitchen today?"
Cadbury nodded. "Yes. And as you'd said, she didnt touch, let alone cook with bacon or wine despite my insistence that its your favourite. She replaced the meats, and didnt use any alcohol at all!"
Silas chuckled, his eyes gleaming with intent. "Perfect. Just as I'd suspected." He looked at Cadbury again. "Are there any leftovers from the food she'd made?"
"Yes. I was about to throw it out-"
"No. Bring them to me. I'll eat them. If Y/n asks, tell her you fed it to the dogs and then they got violently sick." Cadbury was confused as he left to bring him the food. He thought that Silas didnt like your cooking, at least from what he'd heard him say to you.
Oh. Maybe the young duke just doesnt want to acknowledge that he enjoyed your food.
-
A week passed by quickly and the day of the royal dinner came. You were freaking out because Silas had barely spoken two words to you about how to act or what to say, just telling you to act as yourself and he'll take care of the rest.
"What the hell...?" You muttered, watching your reflection in the mirror. Okay, you're not a conservative, but even you knew that this plunging neckline was a little too much skin for this time period, especially in front of the queen!
You were wearing a white satin and lace gown- wedding gown, if you were being honest. All that was missing was a veil, but you guess that would be a little too much on the nose. The dress was beautiful, no doubt, but it was missing a whole lot of cloth around the neckline, the tight corset making your chest puff out slightly more with a snatched waist. Your collar bones looked prominent, but you would credit that to the bland food served in London. Seriously, why do they act like vampires when it comes to adding garlic?
"Your husband had this dress designed specifically for you, madame!" The seamstress told you as she added her finishing touches. "He must love you a lot!" You resisted the urge to roll your eyes as you wore the jewellery he'd sent for you.
Yes. Thats why I sleep on the floor while he sleeps in his bed. Hope he suffocates under those plush sheets. My backache is the sign of our true love.
"Oh, who did that to your hair?" You heard a voice behind you and you turned around quickly.
"Benny!" You squealed, watching Ben, Liam, Shepherd and Colin enter your room. "Ah, I'm so glad you all came."
"Of course we did. There's free booze-" Shepherd smacked Liam on the back of his head. "We're here because we're happy for you."
"And because they wanted to see the queen." Colin said, rolling his eyes, making the other two bicker with him.
"How's Silas treating you? Are you happy?" Ben asked in a low tone as he fixes your hair.
Oh Ben. He reminds you so much of Qasim. "Yes, Benny. Silas is very good to me. I couldnt be happier."
Ben had a sad smile on his face as he nodded.
Just a few minutes later, Silas entered your room. "Y/n. Gentlemen." He nodded to them, before pulling you aside. "I need to talk to you."
You looked at him surprised. Silas was concerned. He was nervous about something. You've never seen him break a sweat.
"What is it, Silas?"
"The queen is onto us."
"What?"
Silas looked at you exasperated. "She knows about our sham marriage." He casted a look to the boys, who were pretending like they werent trying to hear what he was whispering to you. Silas pulled you close by your elbow to whisper. "I have a source telling me that the queen knows you... you're not a Christian. That you're a Muslim."
You pull back to look at him wide eyed. "How- how did she- how did you-?"
"I suspected, you confirmed it now. But she knows. And she's coming here tonight to expose us. If she tells everyone tonight, then she'll be able to take away my dukedom and she will make our lives hell!"
Your throat went dry. "What- what do we do?"
"There's a way." Silas grip on your arm tightened. "We get married for real."
You tilted your head in confusion before shaking your head at what he was implying. "Silas, no-"
"We get a Nikkah."
A Nikkah? If... if you get a Nikkah with him, an Islamic wedding ceremony, then you'll be married to him for real. No- no, the only reason you'd agreed to his proposal was because you knew it was a fake marriage, it didnt really affect your conscious because it was a sham! But-
"No. Silas-"
"Y/n, please." Silas pleaded. "Dont make me beg. If the queen finds out, everything I've worked so hard for, it'll be for naught. She'll take it all away. Dont you- dont you want to help catch the lunatic behind those murders? Dont you want to make a difference by writing? If you dont do this, if you dont stand by me, we'll both be done for!"
You looked at him conflicted, your resolve starting to break as he continued to talk. "My sister, my parents, my grandfather... my family... they need me, Y/n. They need me to pull this off, for me to reinstate our honour, for me to remove the stain and stigma from my family's name. Please, I'm asking you to do this for me... for my family." He swallowed thickly, his eyes boring into you with intensity. "You once told me you lost everything. I'm telling you now that I'll lose everything if we dont do this. Will you let me lose everything, Y/n?"
Lose everything? Everything?
You shake your head. "No, Silas. I... I wont let you lose everything."
10 minutes later, there was an imam in your room. Silas had somehow managed to find an imam in London to marry you two off. But you suppose when you're so rich and well connected, you can find anyone.
This is happening. This is really happening.
With Ben, Colin, Liam and Shepherd as your witnesses and Cadbury and his wife as Silas's witnesses, the imam began the Nikkah ceremony.
Am I really getting married?
You watched the imam ask Silas some questions, and you tuned them out except for one.
"Are you a Muslim?"
You looked up. A flicker of hope! Yes! If Silas isnt a Muslim, he cant marry you! The Nikkah wont happen, or at the very least wont be real because he's not Muslim! He cant marry you, this will still be a sham marriage, a paper marriage and your conscious will be clear and you wont feel like throwing up-
"Yes. I converted an hour ago." Silas informed the imam. "I took my shahada, in sound mind and state, of my own will without any pressure or coercion."
No. Oh no-
"Do you take Y/n to be your wife?"
"I do."
"Do you take Y/n to be your wife?" The imam repeated.
"I do."
"Do you take Y/n to be your wife?" He asked again.
"I do." And with that, Silas signed the Nikkah contract. The officiant then turned to you.
"With the agreed mahr, do you take Silas to be your husband?"
"Mahr?" You whisper in a daze. The officiant looks confused. "Do you not know what your mahr is?"
Mahr is a gift to the bride given by the groom. It is a symbol of the groom's promise to care and provide for the bride. You're more surprised that Silas even knew what Mahr is.
"It must've slipped my mind to tell you." Silas looked at Cadbury, who handed him a document. "For your Mahr, I give you Westminster palace." You looked at the document, he really had signed it over to you!
"Silas..." You say in disbelief, your hands trembling a bit. He smiled reassuringly at you. "You wanted a house. Here's one."
House? He gave me a palace!
"Do you take Silas to be your husband?" The imam asked you. You stared at Silas, at his content face. He didnt have to sign over a whole palace to you, much less one which he'd just gotten from the queen!
And he looked perfectly content with his decision. Not a shadow of doubt. He... he trusts you? Trusts that you'll maintain this union? Wont run out on him- wont betray him?
"I do."
Does he believe that this marriage will last?
"I do."
Does he trust you?
"I do."
You signed the papers, your eyes still in a daze as Silas smiles charmingly at you before pulling you close to hug you. You hear everyone clap around you as he leans down to whisper in your ear.
"Thank you."
-
Silas escorted you to the dining room where all the guests were waiting. You were still quiet and in a trance as you walked by him, with your hand around his arm.
He's surprised it didnt make you suspicious with how quickly he'd found an imam. Truthfully speaking, Silas knew you were a Muslim when he first proposed to you. He had his doubts, which were confirmed by his observations especially with your aversion to foods that were forbidden for Muslims. And yes, the queen had also found out about you being a Muslim, but only because he spread the rumour to them.
The Nikkah documents, the ceremony, the Mahr, he had already planned it the moment he found out that the queen was coming over. And the reason why he waited until the last minute to spring this out on you was so that you would be pressured into saying yes. He just couldnt risk you taking time to think this through.
You may still be under the impression that Silas chose you because it was circumstantial or whatever, but he chose you to be his wife precisely because you were a Muslim. Oh he has plans to use you.
You're everything the English monarchy hates, what it stands for. You're not prim and proper, despite your best attempts. You work, that too disguised as a man, and you're far too strong willed and determined to prove yourself unlike the British high society women.
He knows the crown wont be happy to have Muslim bride in the family, much less a Muslim duke who just so happily signed off Westminster palace to his wife.
A Cheshire grin graced his lips, which people mistook for glee for being with his blushing bride. He's going to have fun ruffling the queen's feathers. He's going to tilt the palace upside down.
Curtsying to the queen, Silas immediately noticed and took great pleasure in the queen's displeasure at your dress. Yes, he specifically chose a wedding gown that showed too much skin for the conservative monarch.
"Your majesty, this is Y/n, my sweetheart." Silas introduced you so lovingly, you couldnt help but be flustered as you avert your eyes to the ground.
"Its an honour to meet you, your majesty." You manage to say without throwing up.
Victoria casted one unamused look to you. "Very interesting choice for clothing."
Oh shit. Shit. Shit. She hates it. I knew it-
Silas's hand gently grasped yours. "Thank you, your majesty. I chose it for her after being inspired by a painting my love gifted me. Ah, let me show it to you."
You already knew it was the stupid portrait he was talking about, and you wanted to hide away into a corner as you saw the disapproval on the queen's face- God, she doesnt mask any emotion, does she?
The queen turned to Silas. "I have heard a rumour and I would like you to address it now." She said, glancing at you.
Silas nodded, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. "Why dont you go and help nana with the guests? I'll be right with you."
Sarah was introducing to the guests, but your head was preoccupied with Silas and the queen. They are definitely talking about me-
"Y/n, this is Mr Blackwood." You stared at the familiar face. "Oh please, Sarah. No need to be formal with me." He smiled charmingly. "Besides, miss Y/n and I have met before."
"Well, thats wonderful! You two talk- I have to find my troublesome grandsons before they embarrass me!" Sarah left you with Henry.
"Congratulations on your wedding." He said with exaggerated joy, though his eyes expressed anything but that. "I'm sure he offered you a lot of money for putting up a show. I just wish you'd told me about it before."
"Excuse me?" You frowned. "I'm not putting up a show."
He raised a brow. "Really? You expect me to believe that a FitzGeorge wants to marry you? Out of the blue?" He throws a look to your gown. "That this wedding dress wasnt him trying to just convince the world that you're his wife?"
Your jaw ticked. "You're right. This dress is Silas's way telling everyone we're married. Because we were married on paper before, but I have an imam, 4 witnesses and a Nikkah document stating that Silas and I are married, both in the eyes of the law and God." You watched Henry's face fall. What use was it lying when he already heard of the rumours. Rolling your eyes, you turned to leave, only for him to reach out and grab your arm.
"Why are you doing this?" Henry asked you, looking for any signs of you lying. He didnt find any. "You know you dont belong with him-"
"Oh? I dont?" You snapped. "Who do I belong with? No, go on. Tell me."
He pulled you close, looking into your eyes. "Me. You belong to me. You know it, you felt it- we have something. We have-" He lowered his voice. "I can give you everything you want. Whatever you'd lost in my shop, I'll find it again. I'll travel the world for it, just- come to me. Leave Silas."
"That is the most pathetic thing I've heard come out of a man's mouth." You yanked your hand out of his grasp, walking away from him. The next time you saw him, he was busy talking with Victoria's heir- Prince Edward VII.
"Sweetheart, there you are!" Silas grabbed you, pulling you along. "I was just telling her majesty about how we met. You remember, love?" He shot you a knowing look.
You nodded, remembering what you two had practised. "Yes. We met at the ballet theatre near Oxford. It was love at first sight-"
"Ballet theatre?" Victoria's voice was sharp. Your heart dropped as you tried to follow up on your lie. See, this is why you two should've discussed this because its hard to lie on the spot!
"She's an amazing ballerina! Ah! I was immediately charmed by her art! She bewitched me!" Silas said cheekily and you wanted to smack him for saying "bewitched" because this is still Victorian era and sure, they dont have witch trials anymore, but why would he risk even the accusation when it is literally the queen's ancestors who had a major part in burning up "witches" in the 1600s!
Look, people back then were dumb and evil, which is a really bad combination.
"Is she now?" Victoria looked at you now, with those piercing eyes. "I would love to attend a show of yours. See what these FitzGeorges fancy so much."
Oh she knows. You can see it, hear it in her monotonous voice that she knows Silas is lying.
And yet this dumbass continues to lie. "Of course! We'll host you for... Christmas eve?"
As Victoria left, you glared at Silas. "Why would you say that?! I'm not a ballerina and you invited her to watch me dance? Do you want to get caught?!"
Silas tutted at you. "You worry too much. Its not that hard, you know. Besides, you have my grandmother to teach you. Ah yes, nana will love it-"
"Silas!" You stopped him. "I cant learn ballet in a month!"
"Not with that attitude-"
"We will get caught. You will be caught, and I will be embarrassed and- and- I wont let anyone make a fool out of me, Silas!" He pulled you into his chest, shushing you.
"I wont let anyone make a fool out of you either, Y/n." He pulled your head back to look at you with those deceptively charming eyes. "You carry my name next to yours now. You're my wife now, and by association, your dignity is my dignity now. I wont let anyone make a mockery of us, Y/n."
You looked up at him and you believed him. How could you not, when lying comes so easily to Silas?
He watched Sarah console you, promising to help you learn. Silas his his smile as he picked up his glass, enjoying his plan falling into place.
Ah, it would be a pity to see your heart break when the entire theatre laughs at you.
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Thoughts????
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danrifics · 18 days
Text
good morning i have slept a total of 2 hours here’s my spoiler breakdown for terrible influence antwerp
they start by playing a text to speech voice who welcomes us and the straight boyfriends and the dads (they’re a bit obsessed with the dads i’ll be real) the voice tells us if we film she’s gonna sue are asses. text to speech lady she is an icon
dnp come out and they’re like yo this is cool it’s the first show, you guys are gonna see what we’ve been up to and then they’re like it’s the first show so we can use you guys to decide if we change anything
they they’re like there’s probably people in the audience who don’t really know us so they do a 15 years of dan and phil lore breakdown with dolls of themselves in little set of iconic dnp locations (made by pj and sophie btw) they put these sets in a table in front of a camera and it shows on the big screen, (for 1 section of this the screen doesn’t work for the first part lol) also phil makes the dolls kiss and they also make the dolls hump the breakfast bar cos of course they do
i can’t remember what happens next or maybe it jumps right into the next thing i mention
they play a game show called role model or no-model which is a madlibs style game where you have to decide if the version of dan and phil the audience creates is a role model or not these are compared to real dnp. we had homophobic furry lawyer dan and linguistics dr phil wo has a thing for hamsters. just an fyi for this dan is really good at hearing what the audience is saying and phil is not at all and im pretty sure he made his up cos he couldn’t understand what we wanted
okay so after this iirc they start talking about the youtube landscape and what they’re gonna do after tour and how to keep people entertained and they go on a little adventure through different genres of youtube like minecraft lets plays, vtubers and then they pretend to be mr beast and pretend to give away a bunch of stuff that they don’t have, they cure us of any mental health issues and they cure us from being gay <3
then they decide to have a boxing match cos obvs that’s what youtubers do, they ask us to cheer for whoever they want to win and it has cool intro to it! i’ll be honest this boxing match goes on for entirely too long like it spans the end of the first half and the start of the second but they have like choreographed fighting and OMFG it’s very gay and like suggestive and they do many times look like they’re gonna have sex 😂 like one of phils moves is to hit dan with his ass while dan is holding him from behind so… yeah. anyway dan thought he won ours and then phil knocked him out with a tv, as he should!! also before they end the first half they’re having an insult match where phils tells dan hes gonna burn his house down only for dan to say they live in the same house and i was dying it was so funny, phil also calls dan a dickhead and this is where he also calls him a cunt and that’s how the first half ends. oh also phil has a fake 6 pack on and that’s the $300 dollar silicone btw
okay second half after dan is dead they have a sincere moment and then they’re like you guys keep telling us you want load of long unedited content and they ask us to tell them a topic to monologue about and someone shouts feet and they rant about feet lmao phil excitedly tells everyone he has a better wiki feet rating than dan
then dan goes on a rant about being discriminated against as a millennial (can’t remember how we got there) and phil gets bored and starts watching subway surfers and i’ll be real honest as a gen z i instantly got distracted by subway surfers and didn’t listen to what dan was saying (that was the point tho) and phil keeps turning up the volume and dan gets mad and he storms off
we have a nice sincere moment with phil but idk what tf it was cos neither did phil 😂
then suddenly a voice, oh here she comes, she asks if we’re ready to confess our sins and out comes sister daniel, everyone fucking loses it, if you heard me screaming so loud no you didn’t.
anyway they read some confessions (phil is father philip) and they read out a few including one from @dnphobe !!! phil has a water gun that he didn’t have when he was meant to and couldn’t find and then found and he was spraying it at people to cleanse them of their sins which is what they meant by people being in the splash zone btw also phil sprayed it at dan it was kinda cute
okay so they say they need to go and get changed and they head off stage and there’s a gag where they leave the microphone on and they’re purposely making it sound sexual and it’s so funny and then dan comes out and phil doesn’t cos he’s struggling with his leather fucking trousers that was a completely unscripted part for sure
then they talk about the hiatus a bit and how dan left us and they keep calling us their family and brb while i cry my eyes out
then they pull out a fucking banger of a song, like i can’t even explain to you how good it is, it has a fully like kpop style dance to it that im gonna fucking learn lmao and dan was so good at it like im not even kidding that man was pulling moves!! phil was doing great too btw but he definitely wasn’t as confident in it as dan was but damn it’s the best song yet imo!!
also i forgot to write the conspiracy bit because i forgot where in the show it is but on one of them they were trying so hard to make us say the opposite one but we were literally forcing tour bus on them and yes they confirmed they shared a bed on that tour bus!! and they played it off like its okay for friends to do that (cos it is) but they way they said it was that thing again where they blur the line a little so we know what they actually mean but still pretend they mean something else
okay some little things i remember that i didn’t write above
- “i can’t imagine my life without you”
- “it’ll be 15 years in december” (if you know you know)
- the absolute silence after they confirmed the bed thing cos none of us were actually expecting it
- dan had to prompt phil a little to remind him what to say next but it was very cute
- they kept looking at each other in *that* way
- phil lied to us about when norman died cos he had norman merch coming out
- sleepless night with phil 3 is fake!!
- they showed *that* video of phil asleep on the tour bus
- there were multiple times where i thought they’re gonna kiss right now???
-phil called dan kinda sexy
- ALL IS FORGIVEN, ANYTHING FROM THE LAST WE MIGHT HAVE DONE IS FORGIVEN THEY LOVE US WE ARE A FAMILY THEY ARE LITERALLY OUR DADS
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realcube · 2 months
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— SAIKI RELATIONSHIP HCS
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☆ very hesitant to hug you/hold hands bc he is afraid he might shatter all your bones. prefers kisses, less can go wrong
☆ except that one time he kissed you and was so flustered that a whole galaxy exploded
☆ but it was one of those really distant, useless ones so he moved on
☆ or that time you held his hand and he literally started levitating ??
☆ finishes exams in two seconds then spends the rest of the time annoying you
'i don't mean to disturb you but i noticed you put the wrong answer for question four' 'get out of my head!'
☆ i already wrote a drabble about this but he morphs into different objects to 'prank' you
☆ you always want him to shrink bc what's the point of having a psychic bf if you can't carry him around on your person like a polly pocket
☆ he's very apprehensive about it, however one day he finally agrees to it because you have a shift at work and you really wanted him to join you but it would be weird if he just showed up to your place of work unannounced so he shrunk and you carried him around in your back pocket
☆ that is until you almost sat on him!! and when he dived out to avoid being crushed, he fell onto the sticky work floor covered in dust
☆ still hasn't fully recovered 😿
☆ omg if you are insecure about a physical feature of yours , instead of using his powers to change you, he will use his mind control on the entire world so that your insecurity is now the beauty standard (similar to what he did with his hair)
☆ he doesn't use mind control on you though bc it's rude
☆ in fact he tries to avoid using his powers on you all together bc it would only cause trouble (with the exception of telepathy bc he likes to speak to you.. unlike he does with most people)
☆ and he's very strict with that ethic of his
☆ which is nice and all, and really easy until he does something super embarrassing in front of you
☆ like you see him scream at a cockroach or smth
☆ and he is SO tempted to use memory alteration on you so you could just forget that ever happened
☆ but he just can't bring himself to do it
☆ OR when your birthday was before his so he got you a present but didn't do that much else, but when it was time for his birthday and you went all out, he so wanted to either go back in time and do better or just alter your memory so you think he went all out too
☆ oh and passive aggression doesn't work on him ofc
☆ if you are ever mad or upset at him for whatever reason, you can't be like 'hmph i'm not gonna tell you what you did wrong, you just have to know :<' bc he can.. y'know.. read your mind
☆ and he also knows exactly what to do to make you feel better and forgive him, every single time
☆ plus you can never stay mad at him for long anyway bc he's just too cute!!
☆ too shy to admit that he wants to spend more time with you so he will use his powers as some sort of excuse
as you're about to leave saiki's room, he lies, 'wait. don't go. i have had a precognition that something terrible is going to happen to you if you do.' 'really?' you raise an eyebrow. 'and what might that be?' he wasn't really ready for any follow up questions so he stutters and thinks of the scariest scenario he can 'toritsuka.' ... 'toritsuka is going to do what? jump me?' 'no. just toritsuka.'
☆ for your birthday or anniversary he does something you call the 'saiki special' where he duplicates himself to give you a full body massage
☆ it's what dreams are made of !!!
☆ but yeah it's a lot of effort so he saves it for special occasions
☆ he would so love to watch trashy reality tv shows with you
☆ but he so uses it against you
☆ like if you are ever studying and are like 'why am i working so hard when you are psychic and can literally set us up for the easy life 😫'
☆ he'll be like.. you know who else never worked hard a day in they're life.. the kardashians!! do you really want to end up like that??
☆ and when you say yes this is the face he makes 😐
☆ dw though bc as i said before he will be in your head during exams so he can help you a little
☆ his love language is actually spoonfeeding you food and desserts
☆ and yes he actually uses his hands opposed to his mind to control the spoon, just to show you that being a psychic doesn't mean he gets to cut corners!
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jobean12-blog · 6 months
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Everything You Want
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader (Mob!Bucky AU)
Word Count: 1,344
Summary: There's no one you trust more than your husband and he always knows exactly what you want.
Author's Note: Just because I love the idea of being in such a trusting and loving relationship that you can have this kind of fun (whether it's a fantasy or not). Also, we know I love a soft mob!Bucky who will do anything for his girl- even 'give up' control (or let her think he is hehe) Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Dvider by the lovely @firefly-graphics Thank you Daisy! 🥰
Warnings: It's fun and flirty and there's tension and softness, ora-l (m rec), some light dirty talk.
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“Where do you think you’re goin’ dressed like that doll face?”
You startle with a yelp and drop your earring, scowling at your husband.
“Buck!”
The muscles in his throat work as he grazes you with a head-to-toe perusal and saunters closer. His splayed hand smooths down your back as he bends to pick up the fallen jewelry. You reach out for it but he pulls it away and takes your chin between his fingers, turning your head so he can put the earring on himself.
“You didn’t answer my question doll.”
“Out with the girls. You know that.”
He spins you around and tugs you against his chest, humming low in his throat when you slide your hands down his chest.
“You need to change.”
Your mouth falls open in shock and you practically shout, “I absolutely DO NOT!”
His lips twitch with a smile and he backs you toward the dresser, pinning you in place with his body.
“I can’t come with you tonight. I have business to address.”
“I know. And you’re not invited anyway. It’s girls night.”
You try to cross your arms over your chest but he presses closer and prevents any further movement.
His stare is dangerous but you lift your chin and stare right back.
“You just love to drive me crazy; don’t you doll?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Mm,” he purrs, dipping his head, his lips hovering just above yours as his fingers trail down the side of your throat.
Your eyes close and your fingers tighten in the expensive fabric of his shirt. His stubbled jaw scrapes along your neck and his hands continue their slow worship of all your exposed skin. His kiss is possessive and his lips linger until you’re hot and bothered and wanting nothing more than him.
“Behave,” he whispers along the shell of your ear.
With one last soft kiss he winks at you and steps away, turning to walk toward his office and call Steve.
You let out an exhale and smooth your hands over your clothing, setting your shoulders back before you head for the door.
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“I thought it was girls night,” Steve chuckles from behind Bucky as they approach the door.
“It is,” Bucky answers.
The bouncer sees Bucky and immediately moves over to hold the door open, nodding as he and Steve bypass the line of people waiting to get in.
“She’s gonna be mad Boss.”
“No she’s not. This is exactly what she wants.”
Loud music and laughter greet them when they walk inside.
Bucky glances back at Steve with a satisfied smirk before motioning to the bar. With a simple tilt of recognition Steve takes his post, his eyes constantly scanning the surroundings.
It’s still early, the bar isn’t yet filled to capacity but it’s busy. Several people are already dancing and Bucky does a double take.
There you are, a drink in hand, dancing with your friends in the middle of the floor. As he moves closer, he notices that your skin is slightly dewy from exertion and your dress is clinging to your curves as you move your hips to the rhythm of the music.
He would stand there and keep watching but he isn’t the only one enjoying the show. When one random guy elbows his buddy and gestures in your direction, Bucky’s feet are moving purposefully toward you before the other men even get up from their table.
As he gets closer, you look up as if sensing him and when your eyes scan his face, your lips part slightly before sweeping over the rest of him. With a lick of your lips you watch and wait.
He crooks his finger at you and you sway toward him, wrapping your arms around his neck and stretching yourself flush against his body.
Letting your attention fall to his mouth, your fingers trace over his shoulders and down his chest, toying with the open collar of his shirt.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” you tell him then kiss the exposed skin near his neck.
Your lips trace a path higher and graze along his scruffy jaw, ending where your mouths meet. He kisses you hungrily and when you moan in your throat he reluctantly pulls away.
“Well, I happen to own the place,” he says with a smirk.
“Yeah, yeah…” you trail off. “You own just about…”
He cuts off the rest of your thought with a kiss and you melt closer, pressing all your softness against him.
Your fingers slip between the strained buttons of his shirt and when you feel his muscles tense under your touch you smile against his lips.
“I was behaving…just so you know.”
“Oh I do know doll. But I also know you’ve been waiting for me to show up and I never like to disappoint my wife.”
Your eyes sparkle and using his shoulders for leverage, you lean up and whisper in his ear.
“Bucky, take me somewhere private. Where you can rip these panties off and fuck me hard.”
“Fuck,” he hisses as his hands drop to your hips and he hauls you into him, letting you feel the affect of your words. “Are you out of your damn mind saying something like that to me in public baby doll? It’s all I can do right now not to bend you over the bar and fuck you senseless with everyone watching. Maybe it would teach you to be more careful with that mouth.”
Your teeth dig into your bottom lip and you look up at him through your lashes.
“My mouth knows exactly how…”
Before your words are fully spoken, he starts dragging you across the dance floor, heading in the direction of the office at the back end of the bar.
He pulls you through a door into a dark, empty hallway, the only light illuminating the corridor emanating from the exit sign at the other end. The music is muffled and all you can focus on is your mingled heavy breathing.
“On your knees doll.”
Every cell in your body hums with needy anticipation and you fall to your knees without a single hesitation.
Your hands meet in a tangle as you both struggle to unbuckle his belt and lower the zipper of his dress pants. You devour the sight of him so hard and ready.
He braces one hand above you on the wall, the other gripping the back of your head and urging you forward. At the last second, just before your tongue makes contact, he stops you.
“Uh huh doll face. First, you finish what you were going to say. Your mouth knows exactly how…what?
You look up from your position at his feet and grip the base of his cock.
“My mouth knows exactly how you like it.”
You flick your tongue out and lick the tip, making him groan. He guides himself between you lips and you moan at the smooth feel of him on your tongue. Your hand strokes in time with your mouth, faster and faster until you feel him start to tremble.
“Baby doll, stop. Now. Fuck, please stop.”
You exult in his loss of composure and ignore his request, unable to get enough of having your powerful and possessive husband falling apart for you. You swirl your tongue around the tip, then suck it hard, distantly hearing his metal fist connecting with the wall.
He drags you to your feet and pushes you back against the hard wall.
“Spread those thighs wide for me,” he growls.
His hand reaches beneath your dress and rips at the thin material of your panties and all the while you focus on his flushed face and the desperation you see there.
“Wait.”
You say the word in a whispered rush and he stills.
“Doll,” he warns through clenched teeth.
“Taste me first.”
He groans out a curse and kneels at your feet, hiking one of your legs over his shoulder before grabbing your hips and eagerly burying his face between your legs.
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@randomfandompenguin @goldylions @blackwidownat2814 @kmc1989 @hiddles-rose @buckysdollforlife @lizette50
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thisapplepielife · 2 months
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Written for a @astrangersummer.
Tip Your Driver
Week #15 Prompt: Modern AU | Word Count: 4115 | Rating: T | POV: Steve | Characters: Steve, Eddie, Wayne, Robin | Relationships: Steddie, Platonic Stobin | CW: Language, Non-Explicit Mentions of Sex | Tags: Modern Setting AU, Delivery Driver Steve, Rock Star Eddie, Meet Cute, Good Uncle Wayne Munson
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Of all the shitty service jobs Steve's had, this one is definitely among the worst.
And he's been stuck working some pretty shitty jobs over the years, both before and after they moved out here. If he hadn't hated the one at the shoe store so much, because ew feet, he wouldn't be doing this in the first place. At least that was in one location, a steady paycheck, and not that far from their apartment. But, he didn't know that feet draw in some weirdos, so here he is, lugging other people's shit around, because he needs the money.
He just sighs as he pulls up in front of the address on the app. He double checks the posted numbers over the garage, and it seems to be the right place. Everything matches enough for him to call it good.
The house is really nice.
It's not in The Hills or anything, so he hadn't expected something so nice.
Now, Steve doesn't mind delivering groceries, not really, but this guy, Eddie it says, ordered a bunch of heavy shit, and the tip was only the mediocre bare minimum. Which, he wasn't that mad about, until right now, after he's seen the house this guy lives in. 
No, now he's pretty annoyed.
Whatever. Par for the fucking course from Fancy Pants Rich McGee over here. How the hell you spell chauffeur? Chauffeur. Indeed. Maybe he should make tiktoks about situations just like this. Robin keeps hounding him, saying if he'd just do it, that he could rake in a little extra cash. 
He's skeptical. 
Steve looks back at the house. 
Oh well. He left his money behind for a reason, the only thing he kept was his car because his parents were dumb enough to put it in his name. And honestly? It does him no good to be jealous or whatever the fuck he's feeling right now.
At least this guy had been responsive, and pretty nice, when answering Steve's messages about substitutions and out of stock items. Not everybody is, unfortunately, acting as if Steve is the one stocking the store himself.
Steve opens the back hatch of his car, and leans in to grab the first items to be left at the door, as requested. If they don't see you, they feel less bad about the shitty tip, Steve's learned.
But it's fine. Steve doesn't want to deal with anyone face-to-face today, anyway. Because he needs to hurry. He and Robin are already a couple days late on rent, and he's gotta try to make up the difference today. If not, they're gonna be fucking screwed. Why is this city so goddamn expensive to live in? It's bullshit.
"Let me help," comes the voice right next to him, and Steve jumps, hitting his head on the open hatch door.
Now, he's skipped over annoyed and has been vaulted straight into pissed off. 
Partly at himself for being so far in his own head that he didn't even hear this guy approaching, but mainly at this asshole for even being in his personal space in the first place. He needs to take about three big steps back.
"Oh, fuck! Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!" the guy shouts, and Steve hasn't even seen this asshole yet, but he knows he hates him. 
"Most people don't help unload the car," Steve snaps, turning to look at him, and the guy is looking back at him with big, big brown eyes. Robin would call them doe eyes, without a doubt. Well, fuck. Fine. Steve softens his tone, "It's okay. I just wasn't expecting you."
"Sorry," Eddie says again, still too close. "I'm Eddie. I ordered the groceries. Can I help? Please?"
Steve nods, and lets him reach in and grab his own case of water, while Steve picks up a few of the sacks. It's the least the guy can do, now that he's given him a headache. Literally.
Steve carries the sacks towards the porch, and leans over to put them down.
"Just come on in," Eddie says, and the door swings open, banging against the rubber doorstop on the wall.
"Don't bang the door!" comes the yell from the other room, and Steve peers into the house and sees an older guy sitting in a lift chair, with a walker in front of him.
"It's my door, old man, I'll bang it if I want to!" Eddie yells back, but there's no heat there. Steve can hear the teasing affection in his voice, and Steve can't help but smile.
"Don't come crying to me when there's a hole in your wall. Can you patch drywall? Because I can't right now," the guy, probably Eddie's dad the way they're bickering, snaps.
Eddie ignores the question from his dad.
"C'mon, this way," Eddie says, looking over his shoulder at Steve, as Steve lingers on the step. 
Well, no. That's not. You don't go in stranger's houses. It's, like, rule one. And just good common sense. Which apparently Steve has none of, because he does follow Eddie into the house. 
Robin will kill him, if this Eddie dude doesn't kill him first. 
Steve puts the bags down on the counter, and heads back out to make another trip, Eddie following, "That's my uncle. He's just crotchety that he had to have his broken hip replaced, and now he's dependent on me for the near future."
Steve laughs, "Well, maybe don't bang the door and he won't be crotchety."
"You heard me. It's my door," Eddie says, smiling wide. He's pretty, very pretty. Long, dark hair tied up on top of his head, and heavy tattoos all along his arms, creeping up onto his neck.
He's honestly gorgeous. 
Steve wonders if he's famous. He doesn't look familiar, but he looks like he could be famous. And his house is pretty fucking nice. This is L.A. Everybody is somehow famous in L.A. Except for Steve and Robin. They are definitely not famous.
Unless he's a tech bro? But he doesn't really look the type.
Either way, famous or not, Steve smiles back, can't not, not when he looks like that, then asks, teasing him, "Well do you know how to patch drywall?" 
"Fuck no. But I could hire someone to fix it if the door knob somehow gets through the stopper."
"Well, at least you have a plan," Steve says, and Eddie laughs.
"He just hates the city. Hates my house. Hates everything. Except me. He loves me," Eddie says, as he grabs a case of Gatorade in one hand and the case of pork and beans in the other.
That's a lot of beans. 
"That's a lot of beans," Steve says aloud, even if he doesn't mean to, even if he knows better than to comment on other people's groceries. 
But Eddie laughs. "Tell me about it. Man likes what he likes, though. There's no changing him now." 
Steve nods, grabbing another handful himself. It's nice that Eddie is taking care of his uncle.
"I'm not usually home much, hence all the groceries being ordered at once. Sorry about that. The cabinets were pretty bare, and I just didn't want to leave him home alone. He's still a fall risk, even if he keeps insisting he's not."
"That's okay, I understand. Big orders are more common than you'd think," Steve says, stepping back into the house that he's probably not going to get murdered in, thankfully.
Big orders are common, he's not lying about that, and more often than not, the tips offered for shopping hundreds of items, are less than you'd think. So, this order wasn't even out of the ordinary. Not really. That's why Steve took it. Some pay was better than none, especially today, that's for sure.
"Still. I'm grateful. You saved my ass today, man," Eddie answers. 
"Well, it's my job," Steve says, and Eddie laughs.
They finish bringing everything in, and Steve nods at Eddie, "Okay. I think that does it."
"Here," Eddie says, and plucks an envelope off the counter, "I always worry that your tips in the app will get eaten up by the corporate assholes taking their cut off the top. So. Cash is king."
Steve takes the envelope. A tip he doesn't have to report? Why thank you, Eddie. 
"Thank you. You didn't have to do this, or help bring it in, you know? But I appreciate both."
Eddie smiles, "Thank you for getting all that shit for us. We both appreciate it. Don't we Wayne?"
Wayne grumbles, but Steve's pretty sure he doesn't appreciate anything right now. He knows he wouldn't either, if he had broken his hip.
They say their goodbyes, and that's that. Steve will never see Eddie with the pretty eyes ever again.
At the next red light, Steve opens the envelope, expecting an extra ten or twenty bucks, maybe, but is shocked to see that there are three, insanely crisp one hundred dollar bills inside. 
Holy shit. 
That's way more than he usually makes in a single day. Two days, even. Just by delivering one order that he didn't think was gonna pay well at all.
And he got to look at a hot dude for a minute or two. 
It's enough to cover what they were short on the rent, even. It might not have felt like a lot of money to Eddie, if he handed it over so readily, but it feels life-changing to Steve, right now. He remembers when three hundred bucks wasn't anything to him either, back when he had access to all his parents' money and all their unhappiness.
Now, it's different. 
Robin's gonna shit.
Hot damn.
Thank you, Eddie.
"Booyah," Steve says, slapping the envelope on the counter. 
Robin picks it up, and thumbs through it. It has Eddie's tip, and the few extra bucks he picked up during the rest of the day. 
"Oh my god, no way! Where did you get this much cash, dingus? Are you turning tricks on the side now?" Robin asks, and Steve laughs. 
"Yes. I thought I'd see what I could get for this ass," Steve says, turning and pushing his ass outwards in her direction. 
She doesn't even look, but says, "Honestly, you might be worth more than this, as much as I hate to admit it," she comments dryly, and he smiles. 
"No, some rich dude that ordered a bunch of heavy shit gave me a big tip," Steve explains.
"That's what she said," Robin teases, and her eyes are still wide as she looks at the bills in her hand, "Seriously, though. Thank you, rich, old dude," Robin says. 
"Rich, but not old. I think he might have been famous in some way. YouTuber? Musician? I don't know. Nice house." 
"Well. Describe him. Let's Google him," Robin says, wiggling her fingers in the air like she's stretching before this big task she's about to undertake.
Steve isn't sure searching for him is gonna work, but he lets her try, "Eddie. Probably a little older than us. Lots of tattoos." 
"Was it Eddie Vedder? Please tell me you know who Eddie Vedder is, dingus?" 
He knows who Eddie Vedder is, Jesus. 
He gives her a look, "Not that old. And he was heavily tattooed. Is Eddie Vedder tattooed? Plus, this guy had dark eyes. Really dark. And no flannel." 
She keeps looking on her phone, showing him options, "Him?" 
No. 
"Him?" 
No. 
"Him?" 
"No. Not him." None of them are. Nobody she shows him is the same guy. So, he thinks of all the famous Eddies he knows of. 
"Was it Eddie Van Halen?" Steve asks. 
"Since he's dead, probably not," Robin says. 
"Oh," Steve says. He didn't remember that. And he'd be too old, anyway. "We're looking for someone that looks kinda like young Eddie Van Halen. But with tattoos."
"You're obsessed with the tattoos. Was it Ed Sheeran? He has lots of tattoos," Robin asks, and he rolls his eyes. 
"Robin. I think I know what Ed Sheeran looks like. This man was not ginger. Dark hair, dark eyes. And he was American. Maybe this guy is just rich? Not famous at all. It doesn't matter. I'll never see him again, anyway. We'll just thank him from afar for saving our asses today." 
Robin sighs heavily, and puts her phone down, "If you'd got yourself a rich boyfriend we'd have it made all the time." 
"Well, I'll work on that," he says sarcastically. 
At least for now, they can pay another month's rent. That's a big win. Huge.
Maybe they can keep their heads above water, now.
And they do, by some sort of miracle. It was only three hundred bucks, but that was enough of a windfall to get them back in the black. And somehow they've stayed ahead since, for nearly two whole months. They haven't been this stable financially since they arrived in town.
Today, Steve flips through the different apps he drives for, trying to decide what order to take, when he sees a huge pizza order. The order is absurdly big, but the tip is decent, and picking up a stack of pizzas is infinitely easier than shopping a whole-ass grocery list. Steve's just seriously questioning if it'll all fit in his car.
He's gonna risk it.
Luckily, it does, but there are pizza boxes piled high in every seat and the rear. He definitely doesn't have hot bags for all of them. Hopefully he doesn't get caught in traffic.
The area seems familiar, but when Steve pulls up in front of the house, he knows why. Eddie. Only, the last time it was groceries, not food, that he delivered here. 
There are vehicles everywhere. Clearly some sort of party, Steve thinks, to require this amount of pizza. And as soon as Steve steps out of the car, Eddie is out of the house, being trailed by three other, mostly leather-clad, guys. It'd look threatening, if Eddie wasn't smiling so big.
"Steve! When I saw Steve was my driver, I was like, maybe? But Steve's a common name, and there was no picture, so I didn't get my hopes up, but hey! It is you!" Eddie shouts, moving to the back of the car, "Watch your head this time, sweetheart," Eddie adds, and Steve is sure he's blushing. 
He just stands there kind of dumbly, watching as Eddie commandeers his order right out of Steve's vehicle. Eddie's definitely unusual. 
Eddie hands stack after stack of pizzas to the waiting guys, making them carry the bulk of it. And Steve watches as they ferry them off towards the house, Steve not having to even lift a finger this time. 
Now, it's just him and Eddie standing on the curb. 
Eddie holds out an envelope, and Steve looks at it.
"Man, thank you, but you tipped so well last time, you really don't have to again."
"I want to. You provide a service, I want to pay for that service," Eddie says, shaking the envelope, and Steve reluctantly takes it. Whatever is inside, will really help him and Robin stay ahead. It did last time. He's not really in a position to say no, even as well as they are doing at the moment.
"Thank you, truly," Steve says, tucking it into his pocket, "How's your Uncle Wayne's hip?"
Eddie smiles, so fucking wide, "You remembered! He's good. Great. Headed home soon, which I'm certain he's thrilled about. He's definitely never coming here again. I'll have to go home when I want to see him."
Steve laughs, "Glad to hear he's better, if annoyed."
"Do you want to stay?" Eddie asks, "We're having a little going away party for him. The more the merrier. Or, is your shift not over? You could come back?"
Steve doesn't have a shift, he can clock in and out to take orders as he pleases, and right now he'd really like to accept Eddie's offer. Even if it's probably just Eddie being polite. A pity ask, if you will.
"You don't have to invite your delivery driver into your house, you know? I could be a murderer."
"Unlikely," Eddie says, "and I'm not inviting my delivery driver. I'm inviting you, Steve."
Steve thinks over the options, and then nods. He can go in for a bit. If he's uncomfortable, he can get right back on the clock, no harm, no foul.
"Okay, let me park," Steve says, and he does just that. Putting the envelope of cash into the glove box without opening it. He doesn't want Eddie to see him scrounging through it. That feels tacky.
The pizza boxes are already open on every available flat surface in the kitchen and living room, and Eddie shoves a paper plate into Steve's hands, "Eat. Drink. Be merry."
Steve nods, and grabs a slice from the nearest box. He's not picky.
The house is full of people, and a lot of them seem vaguely famous. Like this is an industry thing, instead of a going away party for an old man with a newly not-broken hip.
Steve's worked enough of these events. They tried the catering thing for a while, and it was fine, for Steve anyway. Robin was just a little too clumsy to carry trays of dainty hors d'oeuvres around rooms filled with beautiful women in expensive dresses.
This isn't any of that though. This is cases of beer being chilled in kiddie pools, and dozens of pizzas. Fancy house, but not a fancy party. Steve spots Eddie's uncle sitting by himself on a couch, a beer resting on his knee and a paper plate of pizza on the arm rest.
Nobody else is sitting by him, so Steve goes over, "Can I sit?"
Wayne grumbles something that could be yes, could be no, Steve's not wholly sure, but he chooses to go ahead and sit down beside him.
"How's your hip?" Steve asks.
"Who are you?" Wayne asks, looking at him, suspicious.
"Steve. Uh, a delivery driver? I've brought a couple orders to you guys now. And Eddie invited me to stay."
Wayne nods, and goes back to his plate, "Hip's fine. Ready to go home."
"Where's home?" Steve asks, and he's not sure why. Clearly this man has no interest in making small talk with him.
"Indiana," Wayne says. 
"Hey! For me, too. Small world."
"What're you doing in California, then?" Wayne asks. "Trying to get into show biz?"
"No. No way," Steve laughs, "Not for me. Uh, my best friend? Robin? She wanted to move out here. Wanted an adventure. And I wanted her to be happy. So. Here we are."
Wayne nods.
"Did you break your hip in Indiana and Eddie dragged you all the way out here?" Steve asks.
"No," Wayne answers, "I came to visit him and broke my hip before I got out of the airport. This is why I don't take vacations."
Steve smiles, "That's bad luck. Sorry."
Wayne nods his head, and Steve assumes that's the end of this conversation, and they sit in silence for a few moments.
"You're Steve? The one that brought the groceries a few weeks ago?" Wayne asks.
"That's me," Steve confirms.
"He's been talking about you non-stop. I was like, just order more groceries. So, he tried. It was never you. Now we have more food than he'll ever eat. Probably need to take it to the food pantry."
Steve grins, looking down at his plate. He isn't sure what Eddie would want to see him for. They definitely aren't on the same level.
Eddie is across the room, talking wildly with his hands.
"He's a good kid," Wayne says, quietly, "All this? Not him. Not all of him, anyway."
Steve looks back at Wayne, "What do you mean?"
"All this fancy shit. I'm proud of him that their music has done so well. But he's a good kid. And he just wants to be happy."
"Don't we all," Steve says.
"People take advantage. If you're here for the money, for the fame. Just. Move on. Eddie would give it to you. But he wants something more. Needs it, I think."
Steve thinks he could be something more. But he doesn't really have anything to offer Eddie in return, and maybe heeding Wayne's warning wouldn't be such a bad idea. What business does he have getting involved with a famous musician? None. 
"Got it," Steve says. "Well, I'm glad your hip healed."
Wayne grumbles at that, and it makes Steve smile.
Steve puts his trash in the can, and looks around. The hallways are lined with platinum records, news articles, and he leans close to read the name. Eddie Munson. Corroded Coffin. He's never heard of them. He'll have to look them up on Spotify. 
He doesn't belong here. 
He takes one last look at Eddie. 
Eddie Munson of Corroded Coffin.
He tries to memorize his name, his band, so he can tell Robin later, solving their little mystery.
And then he ducks out of the front door, walking down the long driveway towards his car. 
"Hey, Steve! Wait!" Eddie yells from behind him, and Steve slows. 
"Hey, man. Thanks for having me," Steve says, turning to look at him.
"You're leaving already?"
Steve nods, "Work, you know."
Eddie nods, "Okay. Well. Come back. Anytime."
"Thanks, Eddie," Steve says, because he's pretty sure Eddie means that, "Enjoy your party. I'm glad Wayne's hip is good as new."
Steve turns to keep walking.
"Steve. Uh," Eddie says, and Steve considers pretending he didn't hear him. It'd be easy. The music is loud, probably pissing off the neighbors, but Eddie keeps talking. "Listen. I like you. Yeah, I know. I barely know you. But. We got good vibes, man. Can you not feel that?" Eddie asks, and when Steve turns to look back at him, he sees that Eddie's hands are shoved deep into his pockets. 
He looks nervous.
He's famous, clearly rich, and beautiful. He could have anyone he wants. But he looks nervous talking to Steve. Who delivered the pizza. Make it make sense. Goddamn. 
"Eddie," Steve says.
"Do you not feel it? If you don't, I'll leave you alone. I swear. But if you do…"
Steve nods, "I do. But I'm a delivery driver. I live in a tiny apartment that I share with my best friend. We barely make ends meet. You could have anyone. Why would you want me?"
"Because I like you," Eddie says, "and I want to get to know you. I didn't grow up with anything either. I'm not old money. I'm new money. Brand new. So. I'm not that out of touch yet."
Steve smiles. He's old money, he just doesn't have access to it anymore. Eddie's new money, and doesn't know how to handle it. They'd be quite the pair.
Eddie keeps talking, trying to wheedle a date out of him, "Just. Let me take you out. Just us. Let's see if there's anything here," he says, motioning his hand between the two of them.
Steve wants to, he really does. 
"Okay," Steve finally says, "nothing fancy. A normal date."
"We can definitely do that," Eddie says, and reaches into his pocket, pulling out his phone. "Let me give you my number."
Steve rattles off his number, Eddie texts him, and it buzzes against Steve's thigh. Already coming through, showing he's serious.
"Dinner? Movie? Bar? You name it," Eddie offers, eyes never leaving Steve's.
"Dinner's good. Nowhere fancy, though," Steve warns. 
"Do I look like I like fancy places?" Eddie asks, looking down at his own clothes.
And Steve's eyes cut back to the gorgeous house.
Eddie laughs, "Fair enough. But I don't."
"Can you go out in public? Or are you too famous?" Steve asks. "I'm not familiar with your band, sorry."
Eddie laughs, "I think I like that you aren't, sweetheart. That means that maybe you like me, just for me. And I can go out. Nobody cares about me all that much."
Steve nods. Alright. They can go on one date, and see how it goes. 
Well. That's how it goes.
Very, very well.
So well, that Steve's now satisfied and loose in Eddie's bed, when Eddie laughs, rolling into Steve's shoulder, face pressed to his skin. Lips kissing his shoulder, biting at him gently. Playing with him.
"What?" Steve asks, smiling as Eddie slides his hand into his, squeezing. "What's so funny."
"I tipped my driver," Eddie chokes out, laughing around each word, pressing his crotch into Steve's thigh.
Steve laughs, looking down at this ridiculous man clinging to him, "That you did. And damn well."
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If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @astrangersummer and follow along with the fun!
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imaginesig · 2 months
Text
You Would've Done It Too
Ollie Bearman x Verstappen!Reader
SMAU
We all know Mad Max, but what if his younger sister is worse? And what if her on track enemy isn’t always that?
HEAVILY inspired by: Enemies or Lovers by @claypgeon and DR creators on tik Tok for radio ideas
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f2updates
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liked by user3, user91, user93, and 917,828 others
f2updates: Y/n Verstappen and Ollie Bearman made contact at todays GP. Both drivers are well, but forced to retire their cars
tagged: no one
user1 now this is real racing
user2 im glad that Ollie is finally giving Y/n's aggression back
user3 right?? Verstappens gone too long without someone humbling her
user4 I hope she can be tamed like Max and really put her drive to good use
user5 you know they’re both pissed
User6 these post race interviews are about to be HEATED
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f2updates
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liked by user4, user2, user7, and 719,822 others
f2updates: Y/n Verstappen and Ollie Bearman's comments on the incident today
tagged: no one
user1 lmao Y/n and HITECH can whine all they want, all Ollie did was exactly what they've been doing to the grid all year
user2 the jabs at each other give me life
user3 I live for this rivalry
user4 yes Ollie 👏👏 humble her
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f1
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liked by: carlossainz55, user5, Olliebearman, and 927,828 others
f1: Prima driver, Ollie Bearman, will replace Carlos Sainz this weekend
tagged: prema_team, olliebearman, scuderiaferrari
user1 I wonder how y/n is feeling about this
user2 why bring her up, this ain’t about her
user1 because she's been negotiating with different teams to get a contract and try to drive in a free practice but now Ollie gets to race for Ferarri before she gets any of that
user4 and he gets to race against her brother, something Y/n has publicly said she misses and prays to do again
user3 Y/n isn't any better at racing than him, id argue they're equals, nor should she get special treatment because of Max so she can wait her turn
user5 ahhh I can’t wait!!!
User6 I’m gonna miss Carlos this weekend 😭😭
user7 please please please Ferrari have a good strategy for him🙏🙏
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f2updates
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liked by user82, user5, user89, and 718,828 others
f2updates: Y/n Verstappen commenting on Ollie Bearman's temporary move to F1: "It's truly an amazing experience (to drive F1). Ferrari sees something in him, so best of luck. I've defiantly noticed a lack of headaches this weekend."
tagged no one
user1 the was she still has to make a snarky comment
user2 I mean they are rivals 🤷‍♂️
user3 most civil I've ever seen an interaction between them
user4 I don’t understand why someone went out of their way to get a comment from her, let Y/n race and comment on herself and let Ollie shine without dragging the mood down by asking his rival for a statement
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Pre-Race
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Post-Race
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ynverstappen
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liked by: pauladon_, hitechgp, user5, and 817,929 others
ynverstappen: That's how you do it the HITECH way
tagged: paularon_
user1 ig we don't need to ask how she's celebrated the win
hitechgp perfect 1-2 weekend!!
maxverstappen why the last slide
ynverstappen I had to inform the people of my opinions
Maxverstappen anyway, I’m so proud!!
ynverstappen 🫶🫶
Carlossainz55 congrats on p1 little-stapppen
Redbullracing performance so good we were left speechless 👏👏
user2 as much as I love a good rivalry it was nice to have a gp where Y/n and Ollie weren’t fighting and making digs at each other
User3 I agree
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olliebearman
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liked by prema_team, user87, kimi.antonelli, and 728,928 others
olliebearman: P3 for my little buddy 🧸
tagged: no one
user1 awww the bear
user2 always a good day when we get a Y/n and Ollie podium
user3 its the only time they're ever civil when near each other
Prema_team very proud of your performance 🤝
user3 help im jealous of a stuffed bear
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f1
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liked by ynverstappen, maxverstappen1, user4, and 828,928 others
f1: Y/n Verstappen has been called up to replace Williams's Alex Albon this GP! She's already been seen in the garage looking right at home
tagged: hitechgp, ynverstappen, williamsracing
williamsracing we can't wait
Alex_albon she's gonna smash it!!
user1 please bring Williams back to the glory days
user2 Verstappen? Nice try, welcome back Nico Rosberg
user3 she looks so good in blue
user4 Y/n lead Logan to the podium
user5 yes ma'am 👏
user6 give Max a run for his money
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f2updates
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liked by user4, user83, user93, and 293,939 others
f2updates: for her free practice session, Y/n Verstappen has run into issues with her car
tagged no one
user1 her radio killed me: "Um guys somethings wrong I don't think the car likes me very much"
user2 looks like she's causing as many problems there as she does here
user3 please please please I NEED Williams to sort this out so she can still race
user4 she handled the situation very calmly and professionally, very impressive
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f2updates
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liked by user53, user9, user93, and 928,894 others
f2updates: Ollie Bearman comments on Y/n's absence after his race: "Very unfortunate to have troubles so early on. I guess the car could tell she was a hot head haha. I know all of us drivers are hoping the problem clears up"
tagged: no one
user1 I wish they would stop bothering the other for comments, if the situation doesn't involve both Y/n and Ollie then they shouldn't make a statment
user2 exactly it feels like the media is trying to get them to lash out at each other
user3 exactly they aren't friends, but they don't go out of their way to cause problems and people need to realize that
user4 yk he felt so pleased with the hot head joke
user5 "I know all of us drivers are hoping the problem clears up" he's trying so hard not to get into it with pr
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ynverstappen
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liked by logansargent, paularon_, williamsracing, and 928,829 others
ynverstappen: Williams, what an honor it was to be chosen to drive for you this past weekend! I hope I've shown my appreciation through my performance and actions. Alex, sorry for almost ruining your car, get well and kick ass next weekend mate!
tagged: williamsracing
maxverstappen1 you were amazing! I'm so proud
ynvserstappen ❤️❤️
landonorris very impressive battle we had!! still pissed I lost to someone who overheated the car her first lap but yk
ynverstappen thank you for putting up a fight! so happy to beat you Mr. Nowins user8 I need more public Y/n and Lando interactions
user1 the purple helmet ate
user3 its so funny to me that she just happened to get called up the weekend she had a special helmet
user2 lmao she saw the Nico jokes
ynverstappen had bestie hunt the jacket down for the bit (its now my favorite piece and I will live in it forever, thank you Britney)
user4 someone tell her she showed her appration and more
user5 right- she gave Williams their highest qualifying and ending positions
user6 since Logan is leaving can we get her on the grid next year
user7 if you want to rush her and have her burn out like Logan then sure, but I say just give her a contract and get comfy in F2
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ynverstappen posted a story!
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caption: to quote the note left, "they're crochet so you'll remember this weekend forever"
replies:
paularon_
seems like he knows his stuff
I cried
maybe its time to put these ruse behind mmh
don't take my fun away from me
and he really does piss me off
oh I know
I just don't know how he still puts up with you, mini max
hey max was worse
are we sure??
bff_username
ugh what I wouldnt do to have what you do!!
it really is the best
I mean he puts up with your shit better than I do
ok now first Paul and now you
you know im working on it, getting all the Jose out of my veins takes time
and im so proud of you for it
maxverstappen
who.
bff/n
thats a lie
you wouldve tagged her
who.
overprotective much 🙄
im your older brother its my job, now spill
I will at dinner in a few days
f2updates
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liked by user5, user39, usrr93, and 829,839 others
f2updates: in what felt like a rendition of the Norris-Verstappen insident, Y/n Verstappen and Ollie Bearman had a collision in their battled for 2nd, behind Paul Aron in first. The collision caused both to lose significant places in this race, but both were able to return
tagged: no one
landonorris wannabe @/ynverstappen
ynverstappen fuck off Norris
user1 welp cannot wait for the media digs from this
user2 there goes our time of peace
user3 at least this time it was clearly Ollie's fault, I mean he pushed Y/n off
user4 bffr it was a defenive move, maybe she should have stayed straight rather than turn into him? user5 turn into him?? Ollie kept changing his path in turns before and did it again here, all Y/n did was stay on the track rather than turn off
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f2updates
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liked by user4, user93, user3, and 839,094 others
f2updates: Y/n Verstappen and Ollie Bearman's comments on their collision today
tagged no one
user1 praying for every f2 driver tonight that they dont run into each other in the hotel or else I fear it may end in a screaming match
user2 just once I need these two to be able to swing on eachother
user3 it'll settle everything once and for all
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ynverstappen
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liked by maxverstappen1, paularon_, kimi.antonelli, and 928,845 others
ynverstappen: he's hot, you would do it to
tagged: olliebearman
olliebearman I love you schat
ynverstappen I love you too!! Best (almost) year ever, love
user1 im sorry its almost been a YEAR
paularon_ finally im free from this torture
kimi.antonelli you can say that again
ynverstappen nah he's still my #1 opp
olliebearman no one pisses me off quicker 🫶
maxverstappen1 I dont like you. you're not good enough for her. you never will be. I'll personally carve out another appendix so I can't drive you into the barrier if you ever hurt her. y/n you're learning to back flip right now.
ynverstappen a bit much?
olliebearman nope perfect amount, I understand very clearly
landonorris max almost passed out
landonorris please post more im enjoying myself
user2 LMAO LANDO
user3 this was not on my 2024 bingo card
user4 kinda upset we'll never see them swing on each other
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olliebearman
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liked by ynverstappen, kimi.antonelli, user1, and 844,294 others
olliebearman: only person id wear red bull for ❤️
tagged: ynverstappen
ynverstappen only person id wear Ferrari for 💙
olliebearman forever grateful 🫶
carlossainz55 im hurt
Charles_leclerc me too
maxverstappen1 Y/n take that off and burn it now.
ynverstappen no 🫶
user1 im crying they work out together 😭
user2 I just wanna know when that second picture was taken
olliebearman before she got caught leaving the Ferrari garage
ynverstappen and y'all believed the outfit change 🤣🫵
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hitechgp and prema_team
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liked by ynverstappen, user45, kimi.antonelli, and 834,253 others
hitechgp: I guess we're related now or something??
tagged: ynverstappen, olliebearman, paularon_, kimi.antonelli
prema_team family karting day??
user1 not neither team knowing what to say
ynverstappen so fun!!
kimi.antonelli no not "so fun" so scary you almost killed us for the win
ynverstappen and I looked good doing it
olliebearman yeah you did 😍
paularon_ bring back the Ollie that would've cussed her out over that
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