#anyway I hope this wasn't too off topic from the original thing?

[awritersrejections]

THIS — and also, with the power of media literacy and critical thinking, this can be true at the same time that we can be annoyed about <insert any female character> being objectified in <insert any Marvel film>.

This is not saying to never be critical of the creators of art based on that art.

This is saying that the actions/stances/etc taken by characters or even by the narrative in art do not, in and of themselves, reflect the morality or intentions of the creators of that art. Look at context. Look at intention. That sort of stuff does matter.

For instance, it is, in my opinion, fully justified to be mad at the showrunners of copaganda shows. They are putting out content that meaningfully harms people, as propaganda often does. When deciding if you think a piece of art says bad things about the person who created it, ask yourself exactly who that art has hurt. If the answer is "me, because I was made uncomfortable when I scrolled past it," then the answer is actually "no one," because it is not some random artist's responsibility to keep you comfortable.

I add this because I've seen the counterargument of "oh, so fiction never affects reality?!!?!?" made to posts like this. Often times that's bad faith purity policing, but sometimes it's earnest, so I thought it'd be worth addressing.

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

[roosterforme]

I Love Being 'Us' With You (Rooster x Reader)

Part of The What If Collection of blurbs for Roo and Baby Girl. My masterlist.

Warnings: language, angst, pregnancy topics, mention of miscarriage, Carole and Goose coming to the rescue

It had been months since you used birth control. Originally you planned to stop taking the pill when you embarked on your honeymoon, but the two of you agreed to stop filling your prescription before that. For more than a week when you were in Hawaii, you and Bradley had sex at least three times a day. He was like a man on a mission. Well, several missions. He wanted to keep you satisfied, but you could also tell he wanted to get you pregnant sooner rather than later. He wanted to have a kid before he turned forty.

The first time you ever mentioned wanting to have kids, he took you home and kept you in bed for hours. And that was before you and he were actively trying. Since last fall, he had been meticulous. He knew your cycles, and he was seemingly always ready to go when you were ovulating. But it had been months, and while he was outwardly as relaxed as always, you could tell that he was starting to get concerned. You were, too.

At first, it was easy to go with the flow. "It just takes time," Bradley told you, and you agreed. You continued to keep track of your cycle. You tried to be hopeful. You had a partner. You weren't doing this alone.

But you really were.

Because as much as you knew your husband was there for you, it was your body that wasn't working correctly. It was you, not him, who was messing everything up. Every time your period started, you had to cry alone before you could regroup and let him know that another month of trying had ended unsuccessfully. With every negative pregnancy test, you felt a little bit more of your optimism crumble into something much uglier.

You were at the point where you hated your body after so many months, and of course that's when Bradley's parents asked if it was okay to come stay for a long weekend for his birthday. When you got off the call with them, you started crying.

"I don't understand why you're being weird about this," Bradley sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "It's just for three nights. They've stayed with us before. Hell, I don't make a big deal out of it when your parents come out."

You shouldn't have to explain yourself to him. You didn't even know how to anyway. "I'm not being weird! I just don't want to have to talk to them about our plans to have a baby."

"Sweetheart. They don't even know we're trying."

Maybe that was true, but it was the only thing you could think about. So you excused yourself to go cry in bed with the door closed. You could feel the cramps starting. You knew you were just days away from getting your period. You knew the tears weren't going to stop. Another month was down the drain, and you were starting to resent when Bradley would initiate sex. You didn't even want him to look at you. And now when his parents came to stay at the craftsman for his birthday, you would be ovulating once again. It would be another month of disappointment where you felt like you were on display for your in-laws to witness it this time.

-------------------------------

You were distancing yourself from him, and Bradley didn't know what to do. It had gotten so much worse in the last few weeks since his parents asked to come stay for a few days. You stopped driving to work with Bradley. You started working late. You started to schedule sex with him to the point that he was surprised he wasn't receiving calendar invitations. He wanted to have a baby, sure, but he wanted you to be happy above all else. As soon as his parents left to go back to Virginia, you and he really needed to figure this out.

"Are you listening to me?"

Bradley's attention snapped back to his dad who was standing right in front of him, holding a nine iron with an annoyed look on his face. He let his mind wander so far away from the golf course, he didn't even realize it was his turn.

"Sorry," he grunted, digging in his golf bag. "Just got distracted."

"I was telling you that I'm finally taking your mom on a cruise. It leaves the day after her birthday," Goose told him.

"Right," Bradley replied. "Got it. She'll love that."

After Bradley hit his ball a little too aggressively, his dad carefully lowered the club and said, "Now why don't you tell me why you look constipated, and why your wife cried when mom told her that Brenda is going to have another grandson."

Bradley shoved the club back into his bag, and as much as he told himself he didn't want to talk about it, the words just started flowing. "We've been trying to get pregnant since last fall, and it's just a fucking mess now. Sometimes she doesn't want me to touch her. Other times it's like she thinks we need to have sex right then and there. Honestly, I don't know how to fix this, but having a kid isn't worth it if she's not happy with me."

"Have you told her that?"

Bradley stared at his dad, letting the words penetrate his brain. "Well, no."

"Have you put pressure on her?"

Now he felt like the one who was going to burst into tears. Truly, he never meant to, but he probably had. Talking about wanting a kid before he gets too much older. Mentioning how they would have to start saving for money for college. "Shit."

Goose pulled him in for a hug, and he let the soothing feel of his dad's hand on his back calm him down. "Bradley, women are smarter than us. They pick up on everything. If you want to fix it, then you need to be as honest with her as you can be. Because I don't think you want to destroy your marriage like this."

"I sure don't," Bradley said, his voice muffled against his dad's shoulder.

"We've still for fourteen holes and plenty of time. Let's hop in the golf cart, and I'll tell you all about some of the ways I fucked up with your mom and how I managed to fix it afterwards."

Bradley couldn't help but laugh. "At least she keeps you honest."

--------------------------

You were mortified. Your hormones were a mess as you were almost definitely ovulating. You wanted to have sex with Bradley this morning before he left to play golf, but you didn't even know how to tell him that you just wanted him and not the potential to get pregnant. And now you were out to brunch with his mom as tears filled your eyes, because the couple at the next table over was younger than you and Bradley, and they were taking turns holding the most adorable baby you'd ever seen.

When you tried to excuse yourself from the table, you felt Carole's hand on your wrist. "Sweet Girl," she whispered. "Let's talk about it."

You nodded and slid back into your seat as you choked back the tears. "We're trying to get pregnant, and it's just not happening. Was it that obvious?" you asked, knowing you'd been a mess all weekend.

"Of course not," Carole told you in her calm voice that you loved so much. "I just know this type of situation very well is all."

"You do?" you asked, dabbing at your eyes with your napkin. "But you had Bradley."

"Sure," she told you, still rubbing your wrist with her warm fingers. In a lot of ways, it was always easier to talk to her than your own mom, and you were thankful that you didn't have to act like nothing was bothering you right now. "Sure, I had Bradley, but ol' Goose and I wanted a baseball team worth of kids. A whole boatload of snot nosed little critters running around."

You laughed in spite of yourself. "What happened?"

"Well," Carole said with a smirk, "Bradley wasn't exactly planned, as I'm sure you well know. He was born in June after we got married in November. I wasn't showing yet in the wedding photos, but Goose and I both knew he was there." She smiled softly as she added, "I loved being a mom to him. He was the sweetest baby in the world, and I wanted a bunch more. But you can only handle the devastation of repeated miscarriages for so long before you throw in the towel, because you realize it's not worth your sanity. It's not worth it when you already have so much. Goose and I had some long, hard conversations, but we realized we were both already on the same page."

The tears were back, and this time you could feel them rolling down your cheeks. You hated that she didn't get to have what she wanted, but she was looking at you with kind eyes as you said, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't you dare apologize to me," she said with a soft laugh. "I got to raise Bradley, and then I got to pass him along to you." When you nodded and smiled in spite of yourself, she added, "And I just know that he's more than enough for you, and that you are more than he ever dreamed of. Just promise me you'll have those hard conversations with him. Maybe you'll find that you and Bradley are already in agreement about your future."

-------------------------

Bradley was thoroughly unamused when his Bronco wouldn't start on his birthday. "I think it's just the timing belt," his father said as they tinkered under the hood after dinner. "Order a new part and see if that does the trick. In the meantime, you'll just have to drive us to the airport in the other car."

"Sure," Bradley replied sarcastically as he grinned at you. "No problem, Dad. We'll just all cram into the red car like a pack of clowns."

"It's not that bad!" you said as he pulled you in for a hug. You already felt better after spending twenty minutes last night promising each other you'd spend even more time talking after you dropped his parents off for their red eye flight back east.

"It's so bad, Baby Girl," your husband whispered into your hair. "I don't know if their suitcase will even fit in the trunk."

"Stop being dramatic, Roo." 

Of course the suitcase fit. And all four of you fit, too. You let Bradley drive so he wouldn't complain about the leg room. He parked in the garage at the airport, and you and he walked Carole and Goose inside the departures door, taking turns embracing them before they dropped off their bag and headed through the security gate.

"Listen," Bradley said, reaching for your hand and giving you a kiss. "I know we said we'd talk when we get back home, but I need to apologize to you." His brown eyes were sincere and a little sad as he led you back outside and said, "There's nothing I want more than you and me together. Safe and happy. That's it. If we don't have a kid, it's not the end of the world, and it's certainly not the end of us."

You smiled up at him. "I agree. I don't want to think about it like a chore any longer. If it happens, then that's amazing. If not, well we can always regroup and talk about other ways of becoming parents. Or we can just be us."

"That's music to my fucking ears," he crooned, pulling you in close against his body. "I love being us with you."

Before you could assure him that you felt the same way, his lips were on yours, hard and heavy, taking your breath away. The scrape of his mustache and the way his hand kept sliding lower on your back until he was palmig your butt reminded you how badly you wanted him, just because he was your Bradley. You moaned into his mouth.

When you broke the kiss and looked up at him, a cocky little grin bloomed across his lips. "I have an idea, Sweetheart. Call it an extra birthday gift."

"What is it?" you gasped, already trying to consider how much you and he could get away with in the nearly deserted parking garage. But he was a step ahead of you.

Bradley unlocked your car, handed you the keys, and unbuckled his belt. He eased himself carefully onto the backseat, rubbed his thigh and braced his big foot against the center console. "Come here," he coaxed, and you climbed right in.

-------------------------

[zephyrusswinds]

I saw you agreed with take on presents day take on macaque with shadowpeach

Question what you'd thoughts on it?

I am very curious

hello there! I am so, so sorry for the late answer, funnily enough, I was rewatching Season 5 when I saw your ask.

I am also going to apologize for if this post reads very rambly and doesn't make a ton of sense, I'm going off of what little energy I have left in me, ha! Do expect spelling/ grammar mistakes!

Anyways, I believe my reblog wasn't funny clear enough, as I don't fully agree with your post but I do agree with what I believe you were trying to say;

I believe that Macaque's victim complex either originates from trauma or insecurity. Now, Macaque is most certainly shown to be very aggressive when interacting with Wukong, and it feels like he just can't see him beyond the hurt Wukong caused.

I don't necessarily think that Macaque would always view himself in the right. But like, I don't think he'd ever admit that Wukong was right. Also, Wukong doesn't verbally admit he's wrong, like ever.

^ now, I am the 1# Wukong defender, so this isn't saying he's acting like he's right all the time. But Macaque does have an extremely fierce victim complex; even within season 5 when he has a much more "agreeable" personality he throws most of the blame on Wukong (regarding MK's origin and the very human- or monkey, I should say- mistakes that Wukong makes throughout the mentorship).

Macaque says something along the lines of; "That kid idolizes you, you're his literal hero, and you just-" (season 5, Ep 1). And there was a line before that which implies that Macaque viewed Wukong in a similar way to how MK views Wukong. He brushes too much of MK's pain onto Wukong when Macaque is the one who caused so much of it.

Tjis is also why I really hate most interpretations of their relationship- I hate Macaque as an individual but I ABSOLUTELY love the implications of his relationships with others.

Macaque makes Wukong feel like shit constantly, and I thank you for introducing this opinion into my ever-growing Shadowpeach analysis essay.

But it's important as well that Wukong and Macaque are very alike personality-wise, with Macaque packing a tea-spoon more-o-sass than Wukong. Wukong is more mature than Macaque because well... Wukong's been hurt by others in a different way.

so, it'd rather not go into detail on that part; as, I'm saving it for part 2 of my Lionpeach essay. To put it succintly, everybody put a halo on Wukong and shoved him into a position where he's at blame for everyone's fate. (blame the brotherhood)

And Macaque kind of settled into the position of shoving blame, faith, and the blindest of hope onto Wukong. If anything, he'd think it's right. Because it's Wukong- no, wait, The Great Sage, or just the Monkey King. It's only really in season 4 (the turning tides of their relationship) when Macaque consistantly calls Wukong by his name, which, is actually fascinating if you think about it.

Regardless, Macaque felt like he was being ignored (again, to be emphasized in the aforementioned Shadowpeach essay; coming out in the year of our lord, 20-twenty-qué sé yo), his constant yelling and pushiness feels like an attempt to make himself feel bigger.

perhaps he recognizes Wukong's emotional power over him and wants to shut him down? just a thought.

so, I don't fully understand some of the things stated in your original post? My grasp on the English language is a lot worse than it seems, so i've been trying my best to interperate what you were trying to say.

I apologize if this comes off as a bit rude, but would you mind clarifying what this part of your post says? "I can see macaque to access wukong of things,he never done in the relationship"

ANyways, I don't currently have anything to add, I'll make a follow-up post if I think of something new.

I am open to more discussion if you'd like to add on! I'd love to hear your opinions, as, shadowpeach is such a complext topic!

[ebonysplendor]

See Thru: Need a Friend? (DEMO) Review 🚗

TL;DR: You know when you tell you best friend that you guys are "4Lyferz" and that they'll never be rid of you because they know too much? Yeah, I feel like that this friend of ours means that in the most literal sense. We will literally never be rid of him, and he doesn't like it when we try to do so.

Game Link (original demo): https://itsyaboi328.itch.io/stnaf

Game Link (updated version -- no game download): https://itsyaboi328.itch.io/stnaf-chapter-0-1

Notable Features: Self-Insert, Custom pronouns, Yandere LI, Multiple endings Spiciness: 5/5 -- Our friend definitely gets a little...adventurous, if you know what I mean. Not only was there a CG of him between our legs, but there's some less than subtle details of what's going down between us. LI Red flags: 1.5/5 -- Possessive, and it's implied that he's done something shady. He also had like this weird change in emotion, but not much of the "yandere" is coming out right now.

Wanna know more? Aht, aht, aht! Not if you aren't 18+! I don't care if it's been forever since this game has gotten an update, you stay away so that there's still a chance of a release! That being said, if you're in the 18+ squad, let's get into it!

Yo ✌️

How it's going? I hope you're doing super well and that life has been treating you kindly. If not, I hope this'll give you a chance to escape.

Onto the topic at hand though, this is an oldie but a goodie for me. Like, deadass, this is what started my yandere visual novel rabbit hole. This was before Jack. This was before Ren. This was before Solivan. This was before all of them. THIS was the OG yandere bae, and I was down bad for this man, let me tell you lol.

Looking back, though, I'm not even entir-- well, yeah, I am lol; he's cute aye eff, that's why. I just wasn't aware that there were other questionably attractive yet psycho crazy men to choose from, but now I know better. That's what we call growth, folks. I've grown as a person.

Anyways, I'm making a review of this one, because I just replayed the game, and I'm trying to fill the void in my heart since an update hasn't been put out for this game in ages. Well, playable updates, at least. I'll get more into that during the review portion.

Frankly, I don't feel the need to be spoiler friendly, but I'm going to, because it's my thing, ya know? And it's also just on the off chance that someone is getting into their yandere visual novel era, and they haven't heard about this one yet. Shit, I don't even remember how I found out about this one. I just did one day, and I have been down bad for unstable men ever since. Well, at least on a larger scale lmao.

Anyways, enough yappin'. I'm gonna tell you as much about this oldie but goodie as possible without ruining the game itself. Just as a warning though, it may make you anticipate this game extra hard, and there doesn't appear to be any updates coming any time soon. It's okay, we'll cry together later. Just hit me up.

Okay, let's get into it.

So boom.

As these games tend to flow, the first thing we see is an unfamiliar place. Ah, yes, how typical. Upon some very brief further inspection, we realized that we were in the middle of the street. Huh...okay, so threatening and ominous graffiti aside, that's-- that's clearly not normal.

Naturally, we start wandering a bit and calling out into the void, and the void does not answer. A little rude but whatever, ya know, because typical. Also like typical, we hear some footsteps, and it's like "Help! Yay!" but then we see this:

And, now, it's like " ... :') ".

As the script tends to go, this guy is an active threat, we bolt, he goes "RAWR!" and does the whole "I'm GoNnA gEt YoUz~!" lunge, and--

SIKE. IT WAS A DREAM. Did I get you? Probably not because, let's be real, we would've woken up in some weirdo's dank ass basement all chained up with a headache or someshit. Anyways, we reassure our existence on Earth and solidify our awakenedness, and here comes our friend -- quite literally and appropriately named Friend -- waltzing into our house and scaring us out of our soul.

Actual friends, this is the OG yandere bae, Friend. Friend, these are the actual friends. Okay, great, we're all acquainted -- let's move on.

Friend, like the homie he beez, basically came over to offer us a ride to work and buy us a little wake me up as a bonus. Obviously, we couldn't say no to that, so we get ourselves together, get our wack ass uniform on, and get into his car...

...with the ... totally not sketchy license plate on it.

...Anywaaaaaaays~!

Now admittedly, Friend gets a little...handsy during the drive, but highkey? The boy is, and has always been, touchstarved. Like, he's that touchy-feely, always wants to hug, always wants to cuddle and hold hands, and ish friend, so it's like meh, whatever. It'd be more strange if he wasn't like this, ya feel me? At least, he always does the consent checks, which is always appreciated.

We get to the coffee shop, we drink our drinks, he gets all flirty, we lowkey tell him "Down boy", and then we realized that we effed up big time, because we are late as shit. But no worries! Friend being the...well friend, that he is, he's like. "Bro, I have a solution."

"Bro, no way. Tell me, bro."

"You can't be late if you just...don't go."

"...Really? That's your solution?"

"...yes."

"..."

I mean, Big Bang said it best -- 에라 모르겠다. In other words FUCK IT. LET'S DO IT.

So now, Friend is HYPE because we ditched work to hang out with him. He takes us home with a quickness, we get all cute, because we're about to hit up the mall, and--

--this man is CLEARLY thirstin'...but we don't notice for plot purposes.

ANYWAYS. We make it to the mall, and we absolutely had to hit up Scorching Subjects which is totally not Hot Topic and is in no way related to it. While we're in there though, one of the workers gets a little too friendly, at least by Friend's standards, and he gets really snippy with the guy.

This causes a weird thing between them, and the weird thing between them causes a weird thing between us, and it makes the whole outing weird because it's like "Dude, you don't have to be so jealous", and he's like "I would never be jealous of someone like him", and it's like "Ayo, 'someone like him'? That's giving 'you people'" and he's like "Well, go talk to your new best friend since y'all are so close. You're welcome for trying to protect you", and it's-- it's an entire thing now.

Of course, we couldn't let that go, though, so we debrief with him in the car, and we thought briefly about apologizing for how we went about it, but it was like for why, ya know? Friend was clearly out of line, protective big brother type ish or not. So what do we do? We let him have it. We tell him off for acting the way he did at the mall, and we're like "Dude, you're honestly so overbearing sometimes, and it's frickin' creepy."

"You...think I'm overbearing?"

"Lol you think I'm creepy?!"

*Siiiiiigh* All right, truth time.

Maybe, just maybe, we should have let it go and apologized.

CAN YOU BE DEVESATED WITH ME FOR A SECOND? CAN YOU PLEASE JUST CRY WITH ME FOR A MOMENT? Like I said in the beginning, this game has been out forever now, so those of you that know about it understand my heartbreak. Also like I said, this was OG yandere bae, so this was like going on a date that you thought went really well and then never hearing from them again afterwards.

Bro, the fact that this game has been in the beginning stage for going on TWO YEARS WITH ZERO UPDATES. Like, this man literally ghosted me. Like, I went on the OG game page, and you know what I saw? Do you know what I saw?

Bitch (affectionately, of course) that says published on 11 August 2022, and it got an update, which I'm pretty sure was for translations, bug fixes, appearance, or whatever, on 26 November 2023. WE ARE IN THE YEAR 2025 NOW, AND I AM IN TEARS. HOW COULD THE DEV--

Actually, that was somewhat of a lie. While there hasn't been any playable updates, the dev DID start working on revamping the game like mid last year, but unfortunately no playable updates or downloads for the actual game.

Aside from all the sad though, I'm still really excited for if and whenever this game finally drops. I just really want to know the aftermath of choosing fighting words with Friend, and Friend is lowkey kinda fine, especially since he's extra pretty now. Like, have you seen the revamped version of him? Let me show you~!

Like, sheeeeeeeesh. That boy looks crisp now.

Actually, now that I'm looking at the revamped him...he lowkey looks like he showers now lol. I didn't realized that he looked kinda dirty and sleep deprived until now lmao. Like, he didn't look like he smelled bad, but just that he may have been rocking the whole "I've worn these clothes 3 different times this week and have only showered once for like 5 minutes since last week".

Anways, I'm supposed to be reviewing the game lol, and I was yappin' about other stuff. As I was saying, I am still excited about the possible development of this game. It has a good build up of drama so far, there's a NSFW scene -- which is always a plus --, and I love the sneak peak of the yandere that is doomed to come out. I honestly think it's funny and lowkey cute that Friend's name is just...Friend. Like, something about that is just so fitting. The art is pretty solid stuff, and, as you can see, the dev's art style has definitely improved, so you can only image how the rest of the game will look.

That's pretty much all I have to say about this one. Like I said, oldie but goodie, but definitely play at your own risk, because, like I've mentioned, a playable update hasn't been a thing for about 2 years now, and I don't want you to get attached and start feenin' and foamin' at the mouth and ish. If you want to give the dev that possible motivation/inspiration and that reassurance to continue or not give up or whatever, here's both the OG link and the new link so you can tell them, "Howdy! Hope you're doing well! Um, if you don't want me to commit arson in your honour, could you drop an update, please? ...Unless the arson will please you? Listen, I'm attached and unhinged at the same time. I desperately need an update, dude. Like, please, take your time, because, you know, perfection can't be rush and everything, but like...I beg. You're doing such an amazing job. Don't leave me hangin'."

Anyways! I believe I've met my yap quota for the day, and hey! We made it (over) a year around the sun together! Here's to many more, and I really hope you'll stick around with me for it. Big preesh for getting this far and hanging out with me for this long. Please, please, please remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and I hope to see you around~!

See Thru: Need a Friend? (game download)

See Thru: Need a Friend? (updated game page -- no game download)

[wyn-n-tonic]

Hi hi!

So I'm considering approaching my bosses to ask if I can put together a presentation (that can possibly be adopted into our training model) regarding deconstructing ableist language within our field. I don't foresee them saying no but I do think that they may tell me I'm still too new and they don't want to put extra responsibilities on me. Even though I'd be volunteering to do this and I have volunteered myself to take on next steps earlier in the past, my bosses are very big into making sure their employees are taking care of themselves first and foremost and I have felt safe in disclosing my own conditions to them so they are aware that I sometimes have limitations that I don't feel comfortable speaking up about and they will do so for me. In preparation for that possibility I was thinking of actually going ahead and putting this together anyway because I think that it's something that could benefit the writing community as well.

A big reason why I think that this is so important (and can be used in all fields but is a huge deal in my own) is because disabled people are often times un- or under-employed. So when it comes to my field, we are lacking in representation of the very community that we serve. This leads to a lot of outdated language and it leads to a lot of inaccurate understanding of the individual that they are serving. The language that is often used regarding disabled people is language that paints us as sad and evokes pity. So somebody who has never worked with this or that person automatically has an image in their head based on that language and that is what they go into interactions with and it leads to poor experiences where caregivers and families and individuals themselves feel unseen and unheard and uncared for by the very people who are supposed to help amplify their voices.

How this could benefit the writing community is helping with ensuring that we're not intentionally excluding an entire group of people from narratives. I've talked about this before but I don't expect to see myself in every story nor do I want to see myself in every story but I'm very good at picking up on when people like me are not wanted or welcome in a story.

That being said, I'd really love to hear from other disabled people regarding things that have been said to them that wasn't meant to come off as aggressive or dismissive or ableist but did anyway. Two of my biggest phrases that I plan to focus on are suffers from and struggles with.

For example, I've had somebody say, "she suffers from hearing loss," about me. Well... no. I don't suffer from my hearing loss and I'm not some half drowned kitten in a thunderstorm. What happened is that I had an infection that, as a result of poor access to medical care, I experienced partial hearing loss in my left ear. This is something that compounds on top of my auditory processing disorder that I experience as a symptom of my cognitive disability, which is autism and ADHD.

I hope that the difference between the original statement and the way that I presented my own abilities was noticeable and I welcome discussion and suggestion from abled and disabled people alike. Obviously, I'm prioritizing disabled voices but abled voices do have their space in this conversation. Why? Because it has to be a conversation and it has to be about learning and no gaps can be closed if abled people feel as though they can't ask questions or can't speak as somebody who loves a disabled person who has also experienced disrespect of language.

I also want to hear from queer and BIPOC people with disabilities on this topic because it has been my experience while working in this field that both populations are underserved and language plays a huge part in that not only by being ableist but also by being anti-LGBTQ+ or racist. My goal with undertaking this project isn't only to help my colleagues address and check their biases in real time but also to become a better advocate and hopefully help to increase services for people in my community who need it and are ignored.

[justreallybored]

Here are some of my random thoughts on Starborn and Dusk lineage, and other acotar5(6) speculations(because why sarah?):

I've been running through my head how to NOT make Rhys and the Archerons distant cousins like Rowan and Aelin are, since it seems the story is going that way and... idk, with fae living so long, it kind of feels like they wouldn't be THAT distant of cousins, at least on Rhys' side, so here I am with my mental gymnastics with my headcanons/theories:

-The Starborn power is kind of sentient, like the cauldron or HOW, and can choose who it manifests in(within the starborn line, or by those being..made?). Maybe the Staborn power is the oldest Fae power, closely related to the cauldron and that's why Bryce kept wondering if her power was like the Asteri's, but later says it's pure undiluted power or something like that in hofas.

-The glowing power in Feyre was from Rhys(not Helion like they speculated in acomaf) and his drop of power in her, and it manifested in Feyre because she is worthy of it.

-a little off topic, but Rhys is Theia and Fionn's descendant(a given), while Cassian and Azriel are descendants of Enalius(and somehow hold most of his power?). I think that's why they were meant to find each other, because Fionn and Enalius were besties forever and their power calls to each other and now I'm gonna go cry about their friendship.

-on to the sisters: I think the Cauldron holds Starborn power and gave that power willingly to Elain because it adores her. That's why she glowed when made. Because it chooses who to manifest in, and I think that might be Elain in the future(and why she hears the heartbeat through the stone- Dusk's heart? The land is calling her?). Since Nesta stole her own power from the Cauldron, I think she has it too, but her power manifests as death either because the cauldron is corrupted by the asteri, and thats what she grabbed, or it just wasn't willingly given so it's darker? At the end of acosf, she can feel another entity, the mother, or maybe it's just the Cauldron(which is probably the same thing) letting her keep that small bit of power. Anyway, all that to say why she probably had an eightpointed star(starborn symbol) in her bargain tattoo.

In the end, even though i dont want it, they're probably cousins lol. Since the bone carver talked about the clever fae that trapped them in the prison(obv Silene) that lives in some human lines(most likely the archerons).

I know I'm all over the place, but my original theory, before hofas, was that Starborn was just another term for Asteri and fae mixed descendants. It would've explained why their powers were similar. Like if Lanthys was Asteri(hofas tells us he wasn't), that's why he wanted to be with Nesta and rule the fae. Honestly, he sounded so much like the Asteri... but I digress. That doesn't seem to be the case since Bryce talked about her power not being similar to Asteri, but just pure power in hofas(hofas was all over the place, so who fcking knows).

Theia seemed to get her power from the Dusk Court lands(heart) willingly- like she was chosen. That's why I hope the Starborn power isn't just about lineage, so Feyre doesn't have to be Rhysand's (albeit distant) cousin, lol.

Why can't the Archerons have their own special lineage? Maybe a fae that helped Silene, and where the Archesian amulet came from? C'mon, Sarah!

-on another note, Mor is definitely from the starborn line too, right? Or is she of the Night court line that Silene didn't marry into? Maybe that's what Rhysand meant when he said her people used to rule the territory. He's the one that's actually from the Dusk Court line that Silene kept secret. Ugh, I'm confused now.

Edit: the more I think about it, Mor probably isn't from the Dusk line, since Silene looks just like Rhys' sister and Rhys and Ruhn resemble each other (Theia's genes). Silene's son probably took over after his father, causing some upset since Silene was an outsider and not from the Night Court line.

Now that hofas is done, I really wish sjm would explain some of these things.

[hopelessromanticfantasies]

hi!! it's me the "love confessions" anon again

thank you for doing my request!!! I really liked it!! the concept and the idea is *chef kiss* 🤌🤌🤌 and character emotions, feelings and relationships are always so vivid in your works

I have another prompt, it's oddly specific: a medieval scientist prince? please? they are like princess Bubblegum or BOTW Zelda, but any gender

prince seems cold and aloof, they only care about experiments and inventions. they thought romance is just a chemical reaction, until they met their trusted knight

also, can I have a 🧸 emoji as a signature? I'm going to send you even more asks, and I want you to recognize me 👉👈

Oh my gosh! You have no idea how much I screamed when I saw another ask, especially from you. You most certainly can have 🧸 emoji and I would love more asks. I really hope this is at least decent, seeing as I haven't watched Adventure Time nor have, I played Zelda, so I wasn't entirely certain how to write the prince character. Anyways, I hope you love it 🧸!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was in the palace library. That's where I met him. My knight. I was searching for another book of new inventions and old ones. I wanted to figure out how to make a mechanical clock myself. They were fairly new. Of course, seeing as they were new it was rather silly of me to think there would be any books on the topic in our library just yet. I would have to order some. Instead, I grabbed a book describing how a carriage was made. It had been one of my favourite books since I was young. In fact, it was the book that caused my interest in science to grow.

I turned from the shelf only to be met with a man in shining silver armour. "Good afternoon, your highness." He bowed. "I have recently been made your personal knight. Seeing as you are the eldest of your siblings and therefore next in line for the throne, your parents decided it was finally time to assign you a bodyguard." "What? Does that mean you'll with me at all times?" "Nearly all times, that is correct." He smiled. It was genuine. I wasn't used to that. "I- I don't-" I tried to object to the idea. "Oh, a book on carriage building. It's rather interesting, isn't it?" "You aren't stupid?" I lost control, forgetting that was a rude thing to say, even though most of the servants (and nobility) often were stupid. "I apologies. That was rude of me." He stared at me for a moment before his smile returned. "Well, I understand why you might think that. I don't necessarily have the same kind of education as you do. In fact, I might only have knowledge of any form of science because my mother is a healer and my father a mechanic. He owns a copy of the book you're holding now actually." "I see." "So-" I cut him off quickly. "Please, when you are with me stay as silent as you possibly can. I need to focus, and you talk a lot." "Apologies, your highness."

~Next day~

It was early morning. I assumed five o'clock. I was in my small laboratory, where I often experimented with medicines. Nothing too large as I was not as skilled with mixing things as I was with tinkering. That morning, I was trying to create a paste designed to help soothe rashes, allergic reactions and irritated skin. When it is put on your skin it is supposed to turn green. However, when I placed some on mine the paste turned a strange shade of brown. This was not good. I washed it off as quickly as I possibly could, but it was too late, my skin began stinging and turning red. I still tried washing it with cold water but as I did so it seemed to get worse and sting a great deal more than originally. I audibly groaned in pain. "Your highness, are you alright?" A voice said from the doorway. I turned to find that my new bodyguard was standing there with concern on his face. "I'm fine." I hissed through gritted teeth. The knight looked at the jar of paste on the bench and the open medicine book beside it. "Oh god. It turned brown on your skin, didn't it?" He asked. "Y-yes. How did you know that?!" "I made that mistake a few times. Stop washing it with cold water, you're only making it worse." "What? But-" "Trust me. My mother does this for a living, remember? I know what I'm talking about. Taking it out of the cold water." I did as he instructed. He walked over to me as he pulled his own jar of light green paste from his pocket. It looked just like what I had been trying to make. "Why do you have that?" I asked. "Sometimes the armour I wear irritates my skin. I keep this on me just in case." He gestured toward my red forearm. "May I?" Slowly I allowed him to my arm in his hands. They were calloused. Like any hark-workers hands would be. There was even some dirt under a few of his nails. Strangely, despite his rough hands his touch was gentle, as he rubbed some of the paste on my red skin. "You seem experienced with this." I said. "When I was younger, I assisted my mother with her work." He finished slathering the cool cream on my arm. "There you go. Much better." He grinned at me again.

I felt something strange in my stomach and arm tingled where the knight had been touching it and there was a heat on the tips of my ears. These were all signs of physical attraction. But that couldn't be happening to me. Not right now. Not with him. Science says that attraction is strictly between a man and a woman, even fiction agrees with that fact. There has never been any story, fictional or otherwise, where a man was attracted to another man, nor a woman attracted to another woman. This was impossible. Attraction is the brain acting on the human's urge to reproduce. Only a man and a woman could do that. "Are you alright, your highness. You seem confused with something. Oh, am I talking too much for your liking?" "No!" I know I replied far too quickly. "I just-" I must not be as smart as I originally thought, because next thing I say is one of the most stupid things I've ever thought of. "Why am I attracted to you?" He stares at me for at least a minute until he finally replies with his own question. "Why do you think you're attracted to me?" "I'm experiencing all the symptoms." "Symptoms? It's not an illness." "It might as well be. It distracts the mind from more important things." "Do you not thing love, or lust are important things?" He was so... innocent. His intentions were pure. I could tell just by how he touched me, how he spoke to me. I couldn't bring myself to speak so roughly to him anymore. "Of course not. How do either of those benefit life, society, humans? They don't. The only thing they do is keep the human race alive with reproduction." "I don't think that's the only good thing of romance and such. I think love makes the world a more beautiful place. A happier place. And lust allows the body freedom and physical enjoyment. They both feel good. And feeling good has a positive effect on people and their surroundings." It was such a silly thing to think, and yet it made so much sense. I'd heard others say similar things. But when my knight said it... it sounded so honest. It sounded like something I could believe. Ideas I could agree with. "Even so, we're both men." I argue. "Well, I think that gender doesn't actually play a part in attraction. You love a person because of who they are not what they are. Don't you think?" "I suppose." "If it makes you feel less awkward, I find you attractive myself. So, the feeling is mutual. Though before we acted upon anything, if that is what you want to do, I would like to get to know you." I was surprised. I never thought I would be attracted to anyone at all, let alone did I think anyone would be attracted to me. I thought that one day I would be forced into an arranged marriage with some princess so that we could make an heir to the throne. But this was different. I wanted to talk to this man. I was interested in his thoughts, in what he had to say. I wanted to do things with him, like characters do in fairytales. I've never felt this way before. I didn't know what to do. "My prince, please don't feel obligated to say yes." "I don't. That's the problem. I want to say yes. But I've never done anything like this before. I've never felt this way for anyone. I don't want to waste your time." His time?! What about my time?! Why was I thinking about how this could affect him?! His confused face transformed into a wide grin. His teeth were showing for the first time. Why did this make my cheeks heat up? Why did I feel... fuzzy... inside? "I would never think of the pursuit of romance as a waste of time. Even if it doesn't amount to anything much. It's a beautiful thing, even to just try." I agreed. "Then where do we begin?"

[todayisafridaynight]

SORRY in advance for the long ask pleeease take your time and take care, I hope you feel better + get to have a good time at the con or hanging out with your dad :( It means the world to me that you enjoy my stuff though! It did take me a while to notice you were even following me (hence. @ing you on a post you'd already seen gdjfshld) but we got there eventually...

Definitely definitely was expecting to see more of Infinite Wealth at the summit… since the tweets mentioned character introductions but didn't specify for which game, I was under the impression we'd at least be introduced to the as-yet-unidentified voices in the trailer. Gameplay would've been HUGE to include too 😩 I guess it makes enough sense though, since it's not The Upcoming Release...

I shall bide my time. I have no idea what to expect from fall summit (as intended). But if it's going to be a seasonal thing, I figure a potential "winter summit" is the latest it could be to show us gameplay for something that's suppsed to be an early 2024 release, if not just putting out trailers or other showcases and stuff independently.

LEGIT THOUGH IT JUST MAKES IT SOUND LIKE KIRYU IS LYING TO SOUND COOL GDJSKGLDS which is also Arakawa-esque… "maybe I felt like impressing an idiot kid"… If nothing else, I feel like I'll enjoy the dynamic they're going for with those two. Specifically casting Kiryu as a "big brother" figure rather than a father figure also makes me WEEP because the only "aniki" Ichi's ever had is Jo. So it's like... from Jo to Joryu...

Also I just really like the acting choices by the mocap actor for Kiryu, I feel like we've never really seen him move that… casually? His mannerisms also 100% make him look like he's lying lol like there are multiple "tells" it's so funny

I glossed over the proposal (because I expected that to be the main topic anyway, being the only dialogue scene we got) but I completely agree with everything that's been said, basically. Reverse chick magnet for life… but I do expect there's more to it than meets the eye because summit is pretty focused on "generating buzz," so the fact it feels so out of place is probably what they were banking on.

Because like, on top of everything mentioned, Ichiban is portrayed as an entirely passive participant in the romances in 7, and IIRC for Saeko and Eri he wasn't really even fully aware they were into him. So for him to not only be the one to propose but bomb so hard a seasoned hostess (as Kiryu points out in JP)--who'd rather be groped than subjected to Weird Shit--blew up at him and there was fallout from Adachi and Nanba is a huge deviation from how he's portrayed.

It's also kind of like, to me, the translation says something a little different than what was actually being said; Ichi's emphasis wasn't really on the fact she rejected him (implying he expected her to accept + placing more importance on his own feelings vs hers), but the fact she "chewed him out" (implying he should've known better in the first place than to ask).

Of course, he's apparently planning on trying again so he is hoping she'll accept eventually, and the general tone of the interaction suggests he should've known better regardless, but both say something slightly different about his characterization in this scene to me. There's also TL weirdness with Ichi saying Kiryu seems like a good dude rather than just… him explaining that he doesn't mean anything bad by saying he doesn't seem like a ladies' man, which is a bigger mistake but less consequential, I guess.

There's also Saeko's line from the original teaser, "You say that like you're proposing," so it would seem she's already caught off guard (i.e. not taking it seriously yet) and not too thrilled with the idea (provided it's the same convo). I don't really have much to go off of, but if they are in a relationship, I can only assume either she's made it clear she doesn't want to get married or his proposal method was just That Bad, or they're not in a relationship.

In the latter case all I have to pull from is other media with characters who are somewhat like Ichi, but it made me think of times I've seen characters propose for legal or financial reasons or etc. and get Totally Owned, and I'd honestly find that a believable Ichi Situation… Ichi thinking like 50 steps ahead and not explaining himself properly and just Making Saeko More Mad… I'm just musing, though.

Yokoyama and co. were--if I heard right--being pretty cagey about whether they ARE in a relationship in the first place though, which strikes me as odd compared to RGGS' openness about Kaito's ex in the Lost Judgment DLC. So… definitely not beating the red herring allegations just yet, at any rate. Especially when said DLC involves a fake-out on a proposal lmao

Putting all that aside since we can't make any definitive statements anyway, I AM going to make the definitive statement that literally every single design in Gaiden so far is indeed drippy as hell.

such is the cruel fate of being shadowbanned on this webbed site I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream etc etc ( ╯-╰ ; ) but we did get there! and i very much do enjoy what you post :]

if there's nothing for fall summit (though i'm going to hope a lil there will be since that's what. three months from now) then there'll definitely be something for winter summit. if the idea is that there's more of a focus on gaiden since its release date is sooner, then it's fair to assume- with that logic- the winter one'll have the bulk of LAD8 news and demos. either way, im excited for both to see what both of them bring us !

ignoring the elephant in the room of the proposal thing, i also really liked the vibe of it all (and ive also been trying reeaaally hard to make a joke connecting jo and joryu since that's also a bit i enjoy) (❁´◡`❁) i did like that lowkey feel and just the casualness of the atmosphere and the slight awkward/uncomfortable-but-not-overly-offended-and-even-minorly-comedic energy from kiryu lmao. cant ever go wrong with having a scene that's there to slow everythin down a bit, and it does help set up a kind of homely/familial vibe ♪(´▽｀)

i dont need to comment any more on the proposal thing either LMAO everything ima say i been repeating for the past. X asks 😩

and with that. yeah everyone looks FIRE as hell in gaiden (EXCEPT nishitani ima be 100%.... idk the loud primary colors aren't doing it for me.... points for the nails and hair though) 😩

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Let's Always Keep The Memories Of Rooster Teeth Alive In Our Hearts (And Hope Things Work Out)

[Note: Mature Audience Readers Only & For Rooster Teeth Fans...(so not for kids) also will talk about some weird random stuff, some weird ideas and hypothetical stuff and some other stuff like keeping the memories alive. and some stuff will be off topic....also I'm not sure I want this to be reblog or not, well besides talking only a little a bit about well how we can keep the series that was made by the Team of Rooster Teeth alive, I know I will get off topic in this, and I had to edit this in after writing a whole lot on this post that I have so far...anyway maybe I can have the "don't reblog without permission" as a tag for this for now, which means those who do end up reading this can give it a heart, just please don't reblog it without my okay...at least I should think over if I want to decide to let it be reblog and change the tag for this later on that has to do with it...I mean some might find the off topic stuff not really interesting or freaky, because some of the off topic stuff will talk about a pendulum...]

one of the ways we can always keep their memories alive…even though I just found out about the whole May 15th thing…

I was going to take a break from playing FNAF, those darn Glam-Endos… anyway I decided to check out any news about the next Season of RWBY, I think it's suppose to be Season 10…

so anyway I didn't watch all of the video, but it had a Youtuber talk about well Rooster Teeth's Site…

and well, it was May 17th when I found out….

so I got Good News (About FNAF Ruin DLC on the Xbox is working…it was the Glam-Endos from RUIN, I was having trouble with…lucky Moony-Pie didn't give me a Game Over…yep, gonna nickname Moondrop aka Moony by the nickname "Moony-Pie" which is funny cause of some food that is called Moon-Pie…)

and the Bad News about ya know…RT's Site…

but I hope that we can still keep the memories alive, through Fan-Art, Fan Fic and also keeping the Fandom dot com places (I'm not placing the "." but instead of the "dot", I don't know if it will make a link or not…

if I try to write it the other way…) that means Red Vs Blue, Camp Camp, RWBY and many others… dang it, I wanted to watch a bit more Good Morning From Hell on there, and well…it does seem someone made another version of a Red Vs Blue Fandom dot com…

it is like a Database of Red Vs Blue… well like I said, we just got to keep those memories alive, and if it isn't just RWBY that is getting a new home, then maybe someday the others that were on there will too…I can at least hope so.

I wasn't happy about finding out about it, I mean I knew it was suppose to happen but I didn't know it would be so soon and on May of all Months…and there is a reason I say "May of all Months"…

I will have to wait to see that last season of Red Vs Blue, at least I got almost all the Seasons, the last one being needed is of course the very new one that I haven't watched yet, I only saw the trailers.

also is it possible to be a mix of small panic upset at first, and then still a bit mad with a mixture of numb or like half-numb, like you are still mad, but it's like you just feel disappointed you missed the chance and didn't know or if forgot that it was going to be on May 15th...but then again I probably didn't know it was going to be on May 15th and well I had just found out today...

I hope we can always keep those memories alive, from re-watching them by the other means we are able to watch them, like DVD or Blu-Ray...

we can keep them alive, by keeping their original fandom pages alive, as well as their new ones...like both Red Vs Blue, RWBY, Camp Camp and the others...

not even sure if Good Morning From Hell has a fandom page, but it be nice if they did...I was gonna re-watch and listen to that series on there, I mean when I got around to do so...hopefully I can find a way to watch and listen to it even if it isn't at Rooster Teeth.

it would of been nice if I knew about the whole May 15th thing before it became that day and past it...

so yeah, got Good News & Bad News Today like I said...

it made me happy to finally play a bit of FNAF Ruin myself for the first time, even though I haven't beat the one where we have Gregory as a Playable Character.

also another way to keep the shows we fell in love with from Rooster Teeth Company, alive...

is I guess some could make Fan Parody Animation, like it being like Alternate Timeline where Church and Tex don't become "Ghosts" and they stay in their original host bodies, but the new robot bodies that were originally made for them, by Sarge...

can be for their Epsilon-Doubles, and Epsilon-Tex can be called "Beth" as the reference to that song.

Epsilon-Church can be called Epsilon and Church, as well as by the nickname Church Junior by Church, who could nickname him C.J. for short....

but it would make sense if Epsilon is called Leonard Church III.

I can't really bring myself to check the you know, out after listening to what was said in that video.

I couldn't really bring myself to fully watch it, I can't remember the name of the channel of the youtuber really, I'm not sure if I got a really good look at it...but if I run into it again, I guess I can decide to watch it or not....or wait until I'm more ready to.

man it really does suck, but I hope those who do become the new Adoptive Parent Company to those shows we love, make sure to treat RWBY that is Monty Oum's Legacy right and protect RWBY like a precious treasure like it is a gift that must be protected for all times.

I don't know who will be the new Company-Parent, but I do have a guess but I'm not 100% sure if my guess is correct.

well besides the whole Good News & Bad News thing, after I get done writing this and posting this...

I will share some Weird News in the next post.

and it has to do with possible evidence that has to do with both Lilith and Eve being Gran-Grans....

well with the three close calls I had and having to have a dream-catcher for both inside and outside my room, like one on the door and one hanging over my bed....guess it would explain a lot, if it involves Lilith's daughter marrying Cain...

yeah, I will talk more about that in the next post...

but anyway, I know we all may have got really upset in different ways about the thing that happen on May 15th on 2024...

even though I had found out it was on that day, by finding out on May 17th of 2024....I knew about the thing that was going to happen, and well I didn't think it would be that soon...

and like I said, we can keep the memories alive by Fan-Art, Fan-Fic, and well some of those Fan-Fics will be Crossover ones.

even other shows that have completed their journey with their shows being fully completed after you know, the Final Season of the show...

are still kept alive by re-watching the show when we want to re-live it, and well also by writing fanfics about it.

and well it does seem that Steven Universe is coming back, if he is wearing that blue jacket in the new series, it is only going to make me view him and Sans possibly being one in the same even more, like you know the whole theory about Sans is Steven's Future self.

I mean, Steven has Sans hidden in his Full Name.

Steven Quartz Universe has Sans hidden in there.

of course there is the theory that Sans is Ness, and I got a weird theory that Baby Finn from Adventure Time Fionna & Cake...

could be Papyrus, and the Universe that is Fionna's Home is also where Steven Universe takes place...but like the events that happen in Fionna & Cake's series, happens at the same time that Steven is possibly off Planet and on Homeworld...

and Prismo could of like co-created Steven's version of Earth and Homeworld, and yeah maybe that idea could be more Fanon...

but Prismo decides to place Steven's Galaxy or Cosmos that has Steven's home version of Earth where Fionna's world is, and by doing so, ends up merging the two versions of Earth.

yeah it could end up being Fanon, but I hope some like the idea that pop into my head, even if it is weird...

well I hope my weird idea has lighten the mood...

to the fans of those who were the hearts and souls that made Rooster Teeth's Greatest series and well, what I want to try to say is that like it shows in the tags for this...

Rooster Teeth Company and their Site, will forever and always live on and well I will always love the laughter and joy that was brought by them....even the jokes I didn't really get at first when first watching Red Vs Blue, but like you end up looking it up or learning about it by having it be explained in some other show or movie, and you understand what it is now...

it took me a while, like re-watching the first seasons of Red Vs Blue again, after watching the other seasons...

to figure out that Tucker was a cute idiot, he thought he went back in time....Tucker, you are and will always be an adorkable cute idiot...

if he was real, and if I well you know felt like getting a boyfriend...but I don't because of reasons, and I'm just fine with just getting small crushes on characters, and shipping them with either other canon characters from their own series or in a crossover ship...or like with OCs.

but if Tucker was real, and if I did marry him, I wonder if that would make him technically a Prince by marriage.

if ya heard me talk about my heritage before, even if it isn't all of it and well yeah...I guess hypothetically if he was real, and we did got married, and if we had a kid together, but like that being a big if....and well I rather have a surrogate because of reasons 1, my blood type might ended up hurting the baby, and 2, there can be chances of some bad problems to happen when the baby is about ready to be born...

and once again the whole if Tucker was real, and we did get married, like hypothetically...and if we did have a son or daughter, chances are they will be gifted.....as in they will likely have some powers that will freak Tucker out so much he will jump on to the ceiling and hold on to maybe whatever is on the ceiling...

like I said before, when I first got the pendulum and I held it, it freaked me out.....and it took me a long while maybe some months or so, it touch that pendulum again after it had freaked me out when it started to move like crazy when I held it by that chain thing.

also I'm making sure not to use the pendulum too much, and I have gone for longer not using it too much, and well I have hardly used it.

of course still gonna have to use my gem bracelets for that multi-purpose thing, one of the purposes being that is possibly thanks to my using the pendulum too much and it unlocked something...

lucky the stuff I hold by my hands or just fingers, only move like my pendulum, maybe just a little bit...when my thoughts make it do that.

but even with the gem bracelets on, it seems that some gems that can be on a necklace or like a locket are immune, so it can't be helped and it doesn't really bother me that its just those...

but in a hypothetical way, picture Tucker's hypothetical baby daughter or son, who would be Junior's little sibling.

using telekinesis and making Grif float in the air along with Shelia.

I'm still trying to put a limit to my abilities, like some stuff I don't mind having, like currently...but I rather not let it be like moving stuff without touching it because I don't think I could handle it.

which is why my gem bracelets are uses for the multi-purposes, to put a type of sealing charms & limiters.

and yeah as weird as it is, there is a good reason I keep a dream-catcher outside my door....and have one for in my room, and it has to do with the three close calls which I ain't gonna fully talk about in this post.

but anyway I guess I have only small ideas on how we can keep the memories alive, but I'm sure other fans have already plan to keep those memories alive even after the stuff that happen.

also even if it might not really matter to my family I'm Fictoromantic

but maybe I can take baby steps with the whole Ace thing, and maybe talking to them about the whole Toxic-Lust energy thing and had how it may have effected me before I figured out I was Ace...

I think I might be Aceflux, its just seems like well it just seems more Ace and less flux...

but I guess it was a really good idea to protect my body and energy from some energies that were doing harm, one of them being Toxic-Lust energy....and well there are other reasons for why I wear the gem bracelets, and like I said I use them for multi-purposes, one of them being to keep what the pendulum had unlocked under control.

I think I might be Gray-Aroace, but I'm not sure if it would be the same as Grayromantic, but something I don't know if I can explain it right now...

I know I still get some crushes, but I'm not interested in getting a boyfriend at the moment, but it wasn't like I had one in real life, I mean yeah they were real but one of them I had fell for before, even though I don't remember much about them and I like to keep it that way, but I do remember a bit...like I know one ex, made me feel uncomfortable but I tried to tolerate but I guess maybe I wasn't fully aware but maybe only half was, that they made me uncomfortable even if I did like them....

it might be a good thing I don't remember much about those ex-boyfriends, even if they were online ones and well I never had any guy in the places I lived at before, take a interest in me, and I guess maybe before it would really bother me, even when I got my heart broke by the guy I did have a crush on that lived at the same town as me.

but right now, I could care less because I have no interest in RL-Guys....you know Real Life-Guys...

maybe someday I could find someone in real life, maybe...

but I just don't want to right now, and I don't want to be forced to either.

but if I did want to try to get a boyfriend in the future, he will need to respect my space, not surprise hug me from behind, cause I can get scared really easy...like if I don't know your standing behind me, I'm likely to freakout from the surprise hug.

they will also need to respect that I may not want to be touched at times.

but anyway if by chance the site does come back someday, but like with a new or slightly new name, I guess I don't mind waiting for that.

but I'm not sure if that will happen or not but to me it is a nice thought.

we can keep the memories of those series from the Rooster Teeth Site alive in our own way, and can still watch the episodes of the shows made by Rooster Teeth Company from where we are able to watch them.

as well as hope that Monty Oum's Legacy that is RWBY, will be dearly loved and treated with the most care by RWBY's new adoptive parent company, and I will still give credit to Monty Oum and the Rooster Teeth Team for any future fan fic or fan art that has to do with the series they worked on.

it is just, of course I will need to add a new name to the credit of course.

I think I'm doing a bit more okay now, still not happy about finding out about you know, that thing that had to do with May 15th...

but at least the Good News about the DLC of FNAF Security Breach finally working on the Xbox was the first thing I found out about today on May...and I found out about the other thing that had to do with the Rooster Teeth Site, like after playing Ruin DLC...

I had to take a break, because of those dang Glam-Endos and oh, yeah and that Blue-Rabbit, too...

also we can view that the ship of Grif x Simmons didn't sink, and we can still ship them like well for some being either platonic or romantic bromance...

is it weird that I kind of want to Crossover ship Grif with The Queen of Gluttony from Helluva Boss, but like in a Crossover AU that takes place in a Fanon Timeline kind of way...?

well you know I have my weird moments, even my weird shipping moments...you know if Grif x Bee were ship together in a Crossover Fanon Timeline, Bee would likely spoil Grif way too much and she could be spoiled way too much by him too...

anyway I hope the stuff I had talked about in this, even the off topc ones aren't misunderstood and some understand it in well you know the good way and not that terrible misunderstanding way...

well at least before that whole sad stuff happen, which by the way I still don't feel up to clicking on well the site....to see how it is now.

I can't really bring myself to do that yet, but at least I made sure to do certain stuff first before May 15th happen, and once again didn't know it was going to be that day and well if I did maybe I forgot or maybe I really didn't know the day it was suppose to happen.

anyway I think the love for the series can still live on by the fans, even if it can be Fanon work and the whole re-watching the series.

and well hope that whoever is adoptive parent of Camp Camp now as well, they will be treated with love just as much as RWBY and well, also Red Vs Blue is they get a spin-off series, but I'm not sure about the chances of that, well besides the ones we may know about.

and I guess there can be a good reason why my feelings were a bit maybe mixed today, like yeah that video that I couldn't really bring myself to fully watch did upset me some...but then came some other feelings that weren't really positive but maybe some can understand.

a part of me hopes that someday, Rooster Teeth Company and their site will be back someday, even if it may end up being under new management and a new team and the original team and ones who made the original company will be retired.

and well don't know if the whole being like a Phoenix will happen someday.

but it is still a nice thought, well to me it is...

and I think there are other fans who will keep the series alive in their own way, like either by fan fic or fan art or like a fan comic series or fan animation series.

anyway maybe when I can, I will write a short fan fic that has to do with Red Vs Blue as well as the other series.

well if I do find out some good news that is spoken from those who were a part of the Rooster Teeth Team, I will keep my eye out.

I just hope things do work out, and if the site that was called Rooster Teeth does come back with a new name well I guess that is a possibility and it would surprise me.

I might not be the only one who held on to hope, but even if things seem hopeless maybe there can still be some hope, and that is well whoever is the new adoptive parent company, the fans keeping the memories alive in their own way when they are able to, and well when I'm able to as well.

I think tomorrow I'm going to binge Red Vs Blue, still have to wait for that new season to binge along with them but it will be worth the wait.

maybe before I do that whole binge Red Vs Blue, I will watch FNAF Movie, Sonic The Hedgehog Movie and then Steven Universe Movie and then start with the first Season of Red Vs Blue.

anyway hope some can understand my feelings and I was not happy about what I learned from a video that once again I couldn't bring myself to fully watch after the whole stuff that was mentioned.

anyway I think we can keep the memories alive in our own way, and I don't want what I say to get misinterpreted and I know I had my feelings hurt before when some misunderstanding of what I was trying to say ended up getting misunderstood in a bad way...

like small misunderstandings can be a bit okay and still be worked out in the right way, but some can leave hurt feelings that might stay with you for a while and even if you do get better the memory of the hurt is still there...

anyway hope some understand my feelings and my saying we can keep the memory of Rooster Teeth alive, even the series they helped create and even kept Monty Oum's Creation going even after he went the way he did...

I think I'm doing a bit more better than how I felt when I saw that video, but once again at least I got some Good News about FNAF's DLC first, cause at first I couldn't play it even after downloading it.

and it might have to do with those who were working on the game's DLC, were fixing some problems with it before fully releasing it and only perhaps partly released it at first.

anyway I'm not really sure what else to say, I mean I'm not sure if my words of encouragement will be all that great.

but we all as fans of Rooster Teeth and the shows they had a part in, can keep those fun memories they had created alive and well.

and hope all the series that were created by the team and with other parties that co-created with Rooster Teeth Company.

will be in good hands and will be treated with both love and care...

also I'm not sure if some will understand about my talking about the whole half-numb feeling...

like you get upset even if it is just a small bit, but then while you still feel not happy about it, but like some of your not so good feelings turn like half-numb...well hopefully things will work out, and when I'm able to I will try to see about looking up who the new adoptive parent company is for Camp Camp, RWBY and if Red Vs Blue is in there, then maybe that is possible...

anyway in loving memory of The Original Rooster Teeth Site...

and hope one day maybe in a unknown future, Rooster Teeth will come back like a Phoenix, even if it might be done by new faces and a new team, cause well like I had said before...

but I know the chances of that is small, and might not happen.

but we can still keep the memories alive in our hearts in our own way.

and well I hope some don't misunderstand but still get what I'm trying to say...but I do hope the new adoptive parent company will be able to treat those shows with care, and understand that they are for mature audiences only...

so some parents don't scapegoat, when you realized you saw a mature movie way too early, even before you were the right age to view it...but you still like the movie even if you may have had someone cover your eyes in some parts.

and even if you still like the movie when you watch it again later on, and you have a DVD or Blu-Ray version of it, and you own it now and it isn't just a rented movie...

but yeah, the mature content isn't the problem, because some mature content ya have to wait until your the right age to view it.

no matter if it is a show or book or video game or whatever.

but at least I know now it wasn't my Mom that let me see that movie I'm thinking of, it was one of my much older cousins who should of known better...

but yeah back to the whole topic, that I hope those who have or will become the new adoptive parent company of those shows understand that those shows will not be for kids and will be for mature audiences only...but maybe they already know that, and will make sure to have the proper ratings.

and well maybe it be a good idea like how one of my other favorite series does, to place the Warning and Rating first and to say it is for mature audiences, and depending on the mature age you will need to watch it, and well I'm gonna hope that not only they do the proper mature rating, but I'm going to hope parents or whoever watches those who are too young to view mature shows, movies and video games.

stop with the scapegoating, and make sure to keep any mature content in a place that can be kept away from those who are too young for it, and when you are able to you can watch the show or movie or play the video game yourself, but making sure to take some form of safety measures, to protect the ones who are not the proper age to view the mature stuff you like but you know you can't let them see it until they are much older, and well hope some understand why you need to be careful with some mature shows, movies, video games or even books your have.

even if you still have some family friendly shows, movies, video games and some books, you could try to get your little siblings or like niece or nephew or son or daughter, to view the ones that will be okay for them to view...

I had caught a little cousin one time, trying to play my Deadpool game once, and I was lucky I caught them just in time before they really got into the fully game...

I can't really play my Deadpool game right now, or even my Overlord game for my Xbox because they need to be cleaned because there are marks on the back of them where they shouldn't be...

I have a idea how the Deadpool one happen, but can't be too mad at little kids, who don't know that your not suppose to touch the back and you have to be very careful.

it can mess it up and cause it not to play, well no matter if it is a video game or a dvd or blu-ray of a movie or show.

anyway once again I hope those who are going to possibly keep working on Camp Camp and RWBY, will take care of them and also make sure to put the proper ratings on them.

and even if some fans have fully given up, I think there are some who haven't and will still keep the memory alive through a type of appreciation and maybe even make anniversary type arts or writings about Rooster Teeth and well maybe only a few will do that, but I hope things will work out and well once again I hope some what I'm trying to say about it and once again there is no misunderstandings.

and well we all can put our hearts and minds in how we keep the happy memories alive, and I hope those who were the original team and founders of Rooster Teeth with their friends and families, stay safe and live a long healthy lives.

[agingdisgracefully]

Day 22 - Post Total Nail Avulsion

Well, this hasn't gone entirely as planned.

After the first dressing change, things went......alright. Day 8-9 was the worst, pain flared up and the nail got dramatically darker. Day 10 was an abrupt about-face with subtle improvement, and it's really (mostly) be all uphill since then.

I went to see my podiatrist for a 2 week follow-up on Tuesday. She things it looks like it was healing fine, which was a big relief, and that after 2-3 more days, I wouldn't need to soak and wrap it anymore. I mentioned that the granuloma was still there, so she trimmed it off which, of course, made it bleed like crazy. It still oozes a bit and overnight will look like there's some drainage/blood that wants to collect in the corner of my nail bed, but I'm not terribly worried about that.

HOWEVER, that's where the good news ends.

The podiatrist still wasn't in love with the fact that my toe was still red (keep in mind: it was only red - no pain or pus or heat, as far as I can tell and the redness is confined from the middle knuckle of said toe to the tip), is still certain that it's cellulitis - despite the fact that it hasn't spread outside of the original redness in over a year - and ordered some Azithromycin - two 500mg pills to be taken at the same time for a total of a 1 gram dose. This shit layed me flat out for about 2 - 2.5 hours afterwards with intense nausea - but I was fine when it passed...or so I thought. I saw no improvement in the redness, and then when I woke up this morning (Saturday the 13th), it was even MORE red. There's still no pain, very mild warmth (that I honestly might just be imagining), no oozing or discharge - just the redness. It honestly looks like it did when it actually WAS infected prior to the Total Nail Avulsion. The locations where I see my podiatrist are closed on the weekends, and she's booked out between 3 and 5 weeks anyway; This definitely doesn't feel like it could (or should) wait that long, so I've booked an afternoon appointment at the urgent care. I'm hoping that they'll just want to do another round of the Cephalexin since I had practically no side effects to that one (despite being allergic to penicillin and there being a chance of cross-reactivity).

Whatever they choose, I just need it to hold me over until I can at least get word to the podiatrist on Monday. I don't know if she'll want to do one of the previous antibiotics (fingers crossed it isn't the Z-pack), maybe a new antibiotic (like Clindamycin), or if maybe we will try a topical steroid cream (like the Triamcinolone Acetonide that I already use for my eczema).

I know I need to have my left big toe nail done too, but until we can get the right toe sorted, I don't feel safe proceeding just yet.

[americanrecord]

hi kelsey! it's nice to see you back!

just had a few writing questions for you as i am really looking to writing as a future career option/aspiration. i've been writing fanfiction for the past few years almost consistently - a lot of one shots and long series written - and writing is quite honestly the love of my life. i almost always look forward to sitting down at my computer with a coffee and lana del rey and pick up where i left my story off, or planning characters and settings and plot lines. i love most of what comes with creating stories.

quite honestly, i have faith in my writing ability. it's not something i usually question but what i do question is how manageable is writing as a career? how do you get your books published? do some never get published? there are so many anxieties and worries going into something like becoming an author and it's one of the things that really makes me feel i should choose a more "realistic" career option. i'd love to write on the side! but i feel like when i pick the "realistic" option there might not be enough time for me to pursue it as a career.

sorry if i'm rambling, it's just something i'm curious about as you're obviously hoping to get your book published (and i have every faith that you will). sorry if this comes off as rude too - it wasn't intentional :)

hi, bestie! it's nice to be back!! sorry, that whole getting a job thing and actually having to go every day and for all 8 hours is a real killer. i've also been busy getting draft 3 in order! so if i'm ever dead for a long period of time, either my life has blown up or i'm deep in writing/editing something. this past time was both!

anyway, writing questions, yay! first, i think it's great that you're looking at it like a future career choice/option! you should always keep as an option even if necessity has other plans. it's so nice to hear that you've found a genuine love for it, too. as somebody who used to write a lot of fanfiction, it's still real writing, and it's an amazing place for many writers to get their start. (truthfully, if more writers started out on ao3/wattpad, we might not see booktok so infested, but that's another topic) i also know that the fanfic territory comes with a lot of struggles, either people being demanding, judgmental, inconsiderate, and or just plain un-encouraging in their silence despite their consumption, so i love to hear that it's a source of immense happiness for you. i hope it stays that way, if and when you transition to original work, if that's the type of writing you're looking to pursue!! (i can certifiably say that while the writing, drafting, and editing process is tedious, particularly in the case of the latter two, i am having so much more fun.)

i also love to hear that you have faith in yourself! more of that! but i will say that being an author is really not a career you can simply elect. take it from me, if anybody could be an author, with any level of skill or effort, i would be an author. many more people would be authors. to be a career author (in the sense that you don't need to have any other jobs to support yourself), you have to have books successfully published, and—in most cases, a good few of them. it's pretty rare for an author to become a mega-millionaire (at all), but especially based off a debut novel. again, take everything i say with a grain of salt because i quite literally am not an author, but i would never advise any aspiring author to quit their job until they are racking in the amount of money that would allow them to write unsupported.

1.) how manageable is a writing career?

depends. this is strictly speaking in regards to a novel-writing career, by the way, because there are many writing jobs on the market that quite literally pay you for your writing. probably not enough, but...still. no publishing industry, just freelance/assigned topics and vibes. on novel-writing: i'm not published, i have no money, so i work as a paralegal. that takes up all my days, monday to friday, 9-5 (7-6), so my writing time comes from 6-11 on weeknights and then i maximize my weekends. some would say that's not manageable for a writing career, and...well, it's technically not, but it is what it is. the hard truth is that most aspiring authors have to squeeze writing time between shifts, late at night, early in the morning, onto sticky notes at work, on weekends, on time off, during holidays, etc. what is required for an author to have an authoring career would be not working or working perhaps part-time and having a living arrangement where there is somebody directly supporting you financially. be that a parent, a sibling, a spouse/significant other, a really faithful friend, whatever. that is the ideal. that, however, is not an obtainable reality for many, so day jobs it is. finding time in the in-between is your best bet. for me, i make the best of it!! it's still time, and it's so much more than nothing if you use it. it's not the most encouraging thing, maybe, yes, but it's reality, and as soon as that dreadful spoonful goes down, the easier it is to pick up, reshuffle, and find a pattern/writing habits that work for you. say you write an amazing novel in those small spaces and get it published, yielding yourself a little success, then things can change. doors might open, time might free up, and you could find yourself in the middle of lots of writing time!! think of that not as an impossibility but something to work toward. many, many authors out there, even ones with name recognition, still can't afford to quit their day jobs, because books aren't always highly profitable, NYT bestsellers, even if they do well. that doesn't mean they aren't authors, it doesn't mean they can't juggle a writing career (and consider whatever else they do the side hustle), or that they won't keep writing publishable novels in their downtime. it sucks, but as i tell myself: it's life. (as long as i live in capitalist hell)

2.) how do you get your books published?

i'll let you know when it happens to me! but also, jokes aside, it's a long, long, longgggg process. the writing, drafting, and editing processes, plus the feedback cycles, are only like the first half of the journey. so you finished a manuscript, yay! it's shiny, and perfect, and at the appropriate length, and—nobody wants it. publishing a book, traditionally (as in through a publishing house, not through self-publishing, which anybody can do), has as much to do with skill as it does with luck. you sent your book off to a literary agent at the exact right time it was the type of book they were looking for and/or it was what the market was demanding. for example, though i fear the market is becoming oversaturated, what is huge right now is romantasy (romance x fantasy). many a writer are polishing up their dragon and sex books rn and sending them in and likely receiving agents because readers are devouring those voraciously. it might not even be good, it might not be as great as *yours*, but it's what the market wants, and it'll be what the market gets.

and publishing is a whole iceberg of things, but the basics of it (granted, i don't know what happens behind closed doors because i'm only just compiling the stuff i need to start sending things out. i'll no doubt be running suicide blonde through another round of edits/cuts before it goes anywhere) are that you take your manuscript and your publishing materials and send them off to agents. publishing materials, which can be researched independently because real writing instructors will break them down better than me, typically include a query letter (basically, 5 second synopsis on ur book, the word count, genre, intended audience, etc, meant to bait an agent), a synopsis (slightly longer explanation of your book and it's major plot points, including a spoiled ending), and the amount of your manuscript they're interested in reading in their first pass. i was talking about this yesterday, i believe, but they'll usually ask you to paste anything from the first 5–25 pages (i haven't seen anything more extensive than the first three chapters) of your manuscript into the email body. the agent who receives your email will then read your query letter, synopsis, and manuscript sample (sometimes, they just ask for the letter, sometimes a varying combo of things) and, if they like your stuff, they'll request the full manuscript. then, if they like that, they'll offer you representation. if they don't, you'll get a rejection. (but still promising, because your materials interested them. either there ended up being a weakness in the manuscript or it just wasn't what they were looking for.) if you never hear back about asking for a full manuscript, it's safe to say its a silent rejection. you'll usually never hear back from an agent unless they're interested. and you can find agents on online databases. there, they'll say what types of manuscripts they're looking for. never send your fantasy book to a guy looking for nonfiction unless u want an automatic negative. and, usually, don't send your stuff to more than one agent from a company at a time. and never ever send anything in that they didn't ask for. if they wanted just a query letter and five pages, do not send them a query, 2-page synopsis, and the first three chapters because "my story doesn't get good until then." you'll get an automatic rejection and the question from many authors that, if your book doesn't get good until page 24, why you didn't start your book as of page 24.

but, say you do get an offer and all those logistics sorted out, it's the agent who is then responsible for taking your manuscript to various publishing houses and trying to find the best deal possible for your novel. many agents are career-long partners and most agents, if not all, want to secure the best deal for you, because if you don't get paid, they don't get paid. they will never see a dime for your work until you do. everything else is a little hazy for me because i haven't gotten there yet, but once things get picked up by a publisher and contracts are signed, books go through edits, design, production, etc, all so it will end up on a little bookshelf and hopefully in some happy reader's hands.

3.) do some never get published?

absolutely. yep! never. some books never get an agent (and agents are typically needed if you want to get anywhere, especially the big 5 american/NY publishing houses) and therefore will never get the chance for traditional publication. and some get picked up, but die somewhere in the process, and never make it to publication. that's why it's important (and i'm in the middle of breaking these rules, so i will be panicking about suicide blonde later, partially why i'm interested in writing a shorter standalone novel rn) to sort of write a novel, particularly debut/first novels that apply to the standards of the genre. for example, if you have a straight up, trope-driven romance, it MUST categorically have a happy ending and should probably fall within 70-90k. when you're an established career author, you have soooo much more flexibility to be like, fuck that, here's my 115k romance, but...that's a pro of having sway. by that time, you've demonstrated to publishers that you can sell a book, so they're much more likely to allow you to depart from genre/publishing conventions.

but, yes, some never get published. or, or, not right away. for example, people might have written four books before one ends up getting picked up. those other three dormant ones are referred to as trunked novels. often times, publishers like the idea of trunked novels, as it shows that you're not a one-trick pony who can only write this singular story. and, often times, a writer can publish that fourth book and then pull out those other three novels, re-examine them, and possibly publish them. for many authors, their debut novel that the world sees is often not the first book they wrote.

so there are a lot of anxieties, and i understand them all. legitimately, i do. that is why i would advise that, unless you are wealthy or have somebody willing and able to support you while you pursue your novel-writing career full-time, that you should always pursue another career to bring in money to support you while you write. it doesn't mean go to law school (unless that's your jam) and be a lawyer and never write again because at least you'll be guaranteed to bring home the big bucks, it just means find something you like enough to fill your days and pay your bills and use your free time to devote to your true passion until hopeful publication happens and your circumstances witness potential changes. tiktok/booktok, as much as i bash it, has also opened up a lot of opportunity for self-published work and writers too, so that is always an option and one that absolutely shouldn't be frowned upon. the trad publishing industry is known for being oversaturated with white, straight, cis writers as it is, so many POC, LGBT+ writers often have to take routes like self-publishing. it's not a bad thing, it's not a sign that you're a lower quality writer, and it does give you complete creative control over your own novel (i just recommend forking up enough to pay for a thorough, professional edit and get good at marketing yourself.)

i would never call writing/authoring a silly/unrealistic dream, it's just one that's not immediately available for many people and one that needs to be worked toward. so while you may need to push it to the side, it doesn't mean it's not there. like i said, scores and scores of writers wrote phenomenal books in their brief, squeezed moments of downtime. i've picked a full-time job, i have no other choice, and yet i make time to write because i love and prioritize it. things like children and other commitments might compromise this, but it's not something i contend with, so it's worth keeping in mind! use the free time while you have it and see what happens. even if i never get published, i'll never stop writing simply because i love it so much. if i die with a trunk of novels, then i die with a trunk of novels, but it's a sign i did with my life what made me happy, even if not successful.

so i rambled and am too lazy to go back to check for typos, so hopefully this was helpful and transparent and helped demystify things a bit! thanks for the encouragement and faith too!! please know that i go through moments of crisis and hopelessness literally every day, but i will persevere, and so will you !! (and u did not come off rudely at all, and if you have more questions, i'm always here <3)

[queerwritersingerdramaqueen]

I am about to cook so fucking hard.

SPOILERS FOR THE THUNDER SAGA PAST THIS POINT! I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU GETTING SPOILED IF YOU READ THIS WITHOUT LISTENING FIRST CAUSE I'M GONNA GET INTO IT

also, this one might get a little rough. The topic of mental health comes up a fair bit and in a bit more dark and personal way than it did before. It brings up the feeling of being in a bad place while you're friends are getting better and if anyone feels like this, I hope you can receive help wherever you are and find some catharsis in the course this saga will take. I'm also going to bring up Moran's canon drinking habits and general alcohol consumption.

FIRST OF ALL, NOT ONLY THE THUNDER SAGA BEING ANOTHER FUCKING BEAST ENTIRELY; BUT THE RE-RELEASE OF THE FIRST TWO SAGAS???? HOLY FUCK THEY'RE INCREDIBLE??? WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT????

Anyway, THUNDER SAGA, JESUS FUCK, I'M GOING TO BE FANGIRLING AS I GO DON'T MIND ME

The first thing I want to bring into this conversation is Mr Jalapeno throwing a fucking curveball at me during Scylla. I haven't been betrayed like that since Red Queen; but noooooooo, it just has to go and get worse because, um, excuse me? Eurylochus' confession at the very beginning of pupeteer wasn't about him disenting to Odysseus commands, it was about him opening the bag???

Also, Holy shit do I have some fucking plans for Moran this Saga.

But, anyway, here's a somewhat preliminary idea of the Yuumori Thunder Saga

The Thunder Saga:

Alright so, two options for how this starts. The general idea is that William goes away from London for a while to get his mind right. Either he goes with Sherlock (New York Ark who?) or he goes with his brothers because we left them off kind of newly together in the Underworld Saga and the relationship needs to start with William in a better frame of mind. I'm leaning towards Sherlock just because it's so deliciously close to canon.

I also had the thought that, in terms of the type of production this is, I realised it could be a Nerdy Prudes Must Die kind of deal, a series of recorded stage plays that have an audience but they are generally recorded and uploaded to some streaming service. It would allow for a lot more different dramatic techniques, especially for a musical that deals in both technology and magic. Also also also, Jay did a video one time talking about how he'd do a stage play musical and he brought up the Cirque De Soleil which gave me the idea of maybe a circus set up stage? The stage is in the centre of the theatre and the audience wrap around? there would be some more staging problems to iron out but that might be cool, since most of the musical takes place on the boat. I propose this because I've been having trouble picturing a boat on a normal theatre stage. I think this one gives the opportunity for some more "movement." Regular theatres also normally have overhangs which would make my separating the dead and living idea harder to do because people in the back wouldn't be able to see the floating people. I have something like this in mind.

Could do some really cool camera angles for recording too.

Suffering - alright, so William and Sherlock are obviously doing this one. It's fairly simple in terms of content. Sherlock's trying to get William to jump into the water (and as a side note, the frogwares Sherlock Holmes: The awakened game inspired in me the idea that Sherlock is afraid of water so I like to think that William also imbued that into his performance like "I know you're not my husband cause he wouldn't be caught dead in any body of water.") and whatnot. It's also nice to see Sherlock and William having fun on stage together since they technically haven't done that since Warrior of the Mind. My only issue is where exactly Sherlock shows up to do his bit since 1) the sirens come from the water and 2) it's still a stage production. I'm thinking maybe he stands on the bow of the ship and William is tied to the mast, like in the original odyssey but it just doesn't line up properly for me (could walk around the base? I don't know).

Different Beast - So, there'd be a little switcheroo at this point and Sherlock would get replaced with someone else. I know this Saga is supposed to be super big and serious but bear with me for a sec (and know I'm writing this while cackling in my seat), the women from the tea party play the sirens, and this is William's equivalent of taking up a spray bottle and scaring them off like cats ("Back Wench! Back I say!" *Women hissing like cats*). But on the more serious side, this is the first show that William is taking control back of his life. He's not going to continue being friends with people he doesn't like or entertaining people who have no intention of thinking about him as more than a symbol or figure (Imagine the Moriarty's are super famous or something and that circle of hell is probably made up of people he hates). The crew are representative of this growing dislike for him amongst those circles he's running from (the crew are, not the actors, their cheering him on big time).

Scylla - True to my word, MICHELLE BURTON FITS A SCYLLA SHE'S GOT THE PART. I also think it fits really well for her as the first person William ever helped in the manga (as an adult). Now it's her turn to help William and give him the guidance that they are all just trying to do what it takes to survive ("You and I are the same"). But when she is giving this warning, she's talking about people closer to him than he thinks. Either way, she is in the air with the longest gown they can possibly fit to represent her big body and there's more puppets!!! So, this is sort of structured around Post Final Problem where Moran goes on his little journey to self-fulfilment now that William's gone. Moran and William were kind of like each other's rock, they were both in a bad place but they were there together and William was there for him and all of their friends; but now that William is trying to get better, Moran feels as though he's being left behind to rot. This gets worse when William goes away and Moran doesn't have him to fall back on. Seeing William/Odysseus sacrifice/remove the things from his life that are getting him down, he's see's himself as the potential next target. It's a guilty, shameful thing for him but William getting better is the equivalent of Moran drowning in his eyes. Maybe opening the bag represents Moran's own attitude to life pulling William further into his own issues and that's sort of the centre of their argument before the show. William doesn't want to see his friends in the same rough patch as him, and maybe he comes on a little strong but he's got the right idea. Two opposing forces, we could think of it as. Which makes these next two songs Therapy for Moran time as he works through this using song.

Mutiny - I was not expecting this song to be what it was, it blew me away, especially with all the references to Luck runs out, Survive and Just a Man. Lets say that just before this saga is recorded, William and Moran have something of an argument over it and it reaaaaaaally comes out in the song. This is the moment that Moran lets all that fear about losing the only friends who understood him and helped him comes out in song. The Chorus chanting Eurylochus is the actors trying to warn him to back down, to not lose his head. The idea of William telling him that he would have "done the same" sort of breaks the horse's back and the line "If you want all the power, you must carry all the blame!" is Moran finally coming out an saying that he can't get better (in his eyes) and that the only thing he had was William and the rest of the group's support. Obviously the script of the actual musical has the crew turning on Odysseus so their isn't a heap of metaphor in this part; but FUCK IF IT ISN'T ACTUALLY DEPRESSING AND TERRIFYING. also, the layer build up on the luck runs out chorus from the men is just *faints* So, the hunger... I think... could be representative of drinking and making mistakes when your inebriated. Apollo and Zeus are just the bigger dude he picked a fight with (which works really well cause Zeus is Jack, the oldest of the group and the mentor, and *spoilers for what i want to do in God Games* Billy is Apollo, the only one who might be able to step up to him in terms of professional skill in canon. Essentially the two dudes with some sort of advantage on him). That might be how Moran was trying to deal with his demons even before he met William. Also, I know the actual sound when he kills the cow is like a sword but Moran's whole thing is shooting, so he could shoot the cow from across the theatre OR he's not on the boat during this part and it could represent the divide between Odysseus and Eurylochus, one wanting to give up, the other still fighting. He'd have to run to get back on the ship though. (But this allegory does not have to come up. I'm starting to realise that there is a lot of allegory and metaphor happening that does not need to explicitly happen.) ALSO, CAN WE TALK ABOUT JAYS FUCKING VOICE ACTING AT THE END??? HOLY SHIT THIS MAN'S VOICE??? "WHO DO YOU THINK HE'LL SEND?" SANG IN THAT TONE OFH MY GOD. THE PANIC WAS PALPABLE AND I WAS SCARED. AND FUCKING ODY???? HOW ABSOLOUTELY FUCKING DARE YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS MR JALAPENO

Thunder Bringer - before i start anything, DO YOU THINK ODYSSEUS KNEW ZEUS WAS COMING??? WITHT HE PARALELLES TO THE HORSE AND THE INFANT, DO YOU THINK HE COULD FEEL ZUES COMING BECAUSE HE'D FELT IT BEFORE??? AND THAT'S WHY HE WAS SO DESPERATE??? Ahem, sorry about that, anyway. So jack is coming back this saga (Yay!). The other really big thing here is that Moran is reading into this way more than anyone else. William/Odysseus' actions in this number are not reflective of what he does or who he is in the real world. Moran is having trouble separating the art from the artist, lets say. So this is Jack's turn to step in as basically William's surrogate father and be like, "Will, it's ok to put yourself first." while side-eyeing the fuck out of Moran for, to put it very simply, knocking William back into his depression. Neither William or Moran are at fault here either. Everyone around them sort of understands that Moran and William have come to rely on each other a little too much, with Moran needing a guiding figure in William and William needing an advisor in Moran. The central theme is that William needs to take the first step, even if it means he loses his advisor, so Moran follows suit. Moran needs to find help just like William did, not just push it away. He can't keep asking William to be there for him either because that's just hurting both of them in the end. William's not a trained psychologist. ANYWAY, back to the actual thing we are here for. I HAD NO FUCKING CLUE HE CHOSE THE CREW TO DIE???? EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME??? My original idea was that William chose the crew to live to show Moran that he still cared and was still there for him even if he was taking a step back; BUT NOPE, I GUESS WE'RE PROLONGING THE ANGST. So, this is one of those moments where the musical does not translate to the real world and basically everyone except Moran knows that. Moran takes it as a betrayal. (and I'll re-iterate, the crew may be mad at Odysseus but the actual actors are literally just doing their jobs. I'll go on a whole rant about Odysseus and Eurylochus after this.) The best way I can describe this whole thing is the idea of the caretaker drunk, the thing I was and everyone basically told me was good but not good for me. So, William is like the caretaker and when everyone is having fun drinking, they get to a point where they start vomiting or getting emotional. Once everyone hits that stage, the caretaker starts doing just that but neglects the fact that they too are also at the party and supposed to be having fun. This makes it stressful to even be there, especially once the person starts sobering. While everyone else may still be reaching a point where it's not good for them to be at the party anymore, the caretaker is also not doing too well, regardless of if they are sick or not. But yeah, Jack's questioning of "who are you going to chose, yourself or your crew," is a bit of a double edged sword. Moran and William have been treading water together for a long time, and now that William knows how to swim, he has a chance to reach the shore; but at the cost of Leaving Moran to either learn how to swim himself or drown. Moran makes one final plea towards the end and the whole theatre is dark except two spotlights. I'd imagine William is on his knees in anguish and Moran is starting to realise what exactly he's been doing to his friends. AND AGAIN MY DUMBASS MAKES THIS DIFFICULT, because I thought Odysseus wasn't going to reveal his choice until he came back in the next saga. It wasn't until I watched an assortment of animatics that I realised, oh shit, he really gave up his crew so he lived (and again, I'll go into that once I'm done here). And Sherlock appearing for his little Penelope cameo is deliberately there to remind him why he's trying so hard. So in a way, it's not William's pride that needs to be checked, it's Moran's.

Anyway, Moran goes off the radar for a little while to sort himself out. He's still around and still talks to the others but there isn't much interaction between him and William. I have no clue if they ever meet again but if they don't, then Moran would face William at some point later down the road, maybe after Calypso's island. This Saga is more or less about the journey to self-betterment and how to continue being the person your people once knew while also getting better. Sherlock and Louis definitely lost their shit on Moran a little bit but I'd reckon James, Fred and Moneypenny would stick close to him and make sure he understands what exactly he needs to do if he wants to keep his relationship with William healthy.

I'm also going to throw the point out here right now that I'm not a professional of mental health and neither William or Moran are in the right or the wrong in this scenario. It's just that Moran needs to find a way to take care of himself that doesn't involve self destructive behaviour that affects others; while William maybe has to ease Moran into it and not "enable" him, in a way.

Now, bear with me for a hot second, CAUSE I AM SO FUCKING MAD AT EURYLOCHUS. Look, I am not happy with Odysseus' actions either; but their is at least a degree of method in his madness. It was made obvious in the start of the saga that Scylla's lair would come at a cost and it was the only way to get back to Ithaca. So by that logic, six men is a hefty price to pay but it was better than forty two fucking men!? Odysseus couldn't even confide that in Eurylochus because who want's to sacrifice their men??? AND I'M NOT FUCKING FINISHED, because not only did they mutiny against what is, in ancient Greek myth logic, reasonable terms, THEY FUCKING DIDN'T LISTEN TO ODYSSEUS WHEN HE WARNED THEM ABOUT APOLLO'S COWS??? What did they think would happen?! They killed a God's cows DESPITE KNOWING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN??? AND THEN WHEN ZEUS GIVES HIS ULTIMATUM, THEY EXPECTED HIM TO SACRIFCE HIMSELF FOR A CREW THAT MUTINIED AGAINST HIM AND PUT THEM IN THAT MESS TO BEGIN WITH!?!?! LIKE, OF COURSE HE WOULDN'T WANT TO HELP THEM, HE'D WANT TO GO BACK TO HIS WIFE. LIKE, YOU FUCKED AROUND, YOU FOUND OUT AND YOU STILL EXPECTED HIM TO SAVE YOU??? WHAT LOGIC IS THERE IN KILLING A GOD'S COWS??? IS THAT HOW BAD THEIR HUNGER WAS??? CATCH SOME FUCKING FISH JESUS CHRIST. *EDIT* ALSO, IM FUCKING SORRY, THIS ALL COMING FROM THE GUY WHO WANTED TO LEAVE BEHIND THE MEN CIRCE TURNED TO PIGS??? CUT OUR LOSSES AND RUN MY FUCKING ASS MAN

I don't know man, maybe I'm reading into his wrong but by my logic, Eurylochus made the worst mistake and very much could have avoided it. I suppose that's the point of the Odyssey though, he has to struggle at every turn.

Ok. I'm done. There are new things I would really like to explore with the re-release of the first two albums too now that there are some super cool additions in terms of expression and music. It's just so fucking incredible what these people can do with just their voices and instruments. Like, the "I don't think you're ready-" cutting out instead of playing on in the Horse and the Infant has so many more implications about destiny and the gods; or Penelope singing her own name later on is just so fucking cool.

I've been writing this post roughly since this Saga came out so the idea is, for all intents and purposes, is preliminary and needs a lot of work. I'd love to hear feedback!!!

As always, thank you to my good co-writer @aka-no-ken for being the void I shout all this nonsense into!

I'm bored and I can finally chill out for a little bit.

SO IM GOING TO WRITE A LIST OF MY BRAIN THOUGHTS AND YALL CAN READ AS YOU WISH (FEEL FREE TO ASK ME).

Yuumori in a stage-production AU of Epic

A part two to that one post I made about reverse AUs in Detroit: become Human

Yuumori Detroit: Become Human AU

Fankids

The hilarity of a Reed900 fic where they hide their relationship flawlessly and everyone is confused

My Yuumori fic based on the frogwares games universe

Indie Horror Games

Musical moments that make me froth at the mouth

Everything about Epic the Musical

Rearranging my room

Educating Rita managing to fundamentally change my brain chemistry

In contrast, hating Pygmalion (Or just Higgins, everyone else is ok)

And oddly enough, hating the implications of the original Pygmalion but finding an inherent romanticism in finding love in your art. (If I have actually interpreted the poem right)

A game called preliminary model assessment and the scarily good voice acting and chilling concept.

I have many a thought but need motivation

[stormflypirateskin]

"Let Me Hear You, Brother!"

Summary: Saeyoung keeps calling Saeran on the phone because he wants to hear his voice.

I got the idea from @anas-tasiaa :DD

"Stop calling me!! What do you want?!" Saeran pinched the temple on his face as he groaned. "Why do you keep calling me anyway? Are you trying to piss me off on purpose?!" His voice raised even more.

All he wanted was to just stay in his room and rest for the day. Well, you see, that wasn't originally his plan but he changed into it immediately when Saeyoung, his brother, wouldn't leave him alone.

Saeyoung would always be near his brother in whatever he was doing and just kept rambling about many things. Normally, Saeran would just ignore him but Saeyoung kept asking questions after questions.

So, here he was, in his room. Hoping to rest his mind from the million thoughts and intense emotions he was feeling at the moment.

"But but but!!" Saeyoung had flinched from the volume of his brother's voice. "I wanna talk to youuu..." He sighed, defeated.

"Don't you see me every single day..?!" Saeran was sitting up right now as his eyebrows furrowed. He was fighting the urge to just hang up on him.

Sure, he didn't hate his brother but sometimes he did things that made Saeran want to hide in his room for the rest of the week. He knows he doesn't mean harm but he drives Saeran wild a lot of times.

"I'm hanging up."

"Wait..!!" Saeyoung immediately called out to him. "I'll.. I'll buy you ice cream if you don't hang up!!" He panicked.

"What do you want..?!" Saeran sighed. His patience was being tested here. But he can't really resist ice cream. I guess he could listen to him a bit. "Explain why you don't want me to hang up, Saeyoung." Saeran's firm voice shot back.

"W-Well.." Saeyoung didn't know what to say but his mind raced with thoughts with what he could say at that moment.

"I-I just..!!" He sighed before he took a small breath. "I want to listen to your voice, Saeran."

It was like all of Saeran's anger left and was replaced with confusion. He raised an eyebrow. "What.. do you mean..?"

"I.. well.. I always missed it.. it was torture when I couldn't hear your voice anymore.." He confessed slowly. It was true. When Saeyoung had to leave Saeran for the agency, it ruined him.

He stayed up countless nights, wondering how Saeran was doing while he was with V and Rika back then. He had to stay away, alone, only a disgusting hacker doing all the disturbing work.

Even if he couldn't see or hear him anymore, he thought that he was okay when the opposite was happening. He never wants to let him go anymore. He wants to stay by his side and make sure he is safe and alive for as long as he lives.

So Saeran finally being by his side after all those years? Saeyoung really missed him so much and he is finally able to hear his voice. Even if Saeran gets angry a lot at his brother. Saeyoung was just happy to have him close to him once again.

"Just hearing you again after so long.. I'm happy." Saeran could tell that Saeyoung was smiling even if he couldn't see him.

Saeran did miss Saeyoung back then too and even if his brother annoyed him a lot, he was still.. glad that his brother wanted to be around him.

It was gonna take a long time for Saeran to warm up to Saeyoung and everyone else in the RFA enough but he was still making progress, even if it was small.

Saeran was lost on his thoughts which made Saeyoung panic since he thought that he said something wrong there.

"I also.. missed it." Saeran said quietly and slowly. It was rare to see him admit these thoughts and feelings.

"Huh..?" Saeyoung's eyes widened immediately.

"I said bring me the ice cream." Saeran changed the topic quickly. He felt embarrassed that he admitted to missing his brother's voice.

It did help him a lot when they were both at that old house of nightmares.

Saeyoung's soft laughter could be heard. He decided to not make Saeran feel more embarrassed with what he said and played along. "Of course, my dear brother. You shall have all the ice cream in the world!!"

And Saeran felt a weak smile make it's way to his face.

[reverie-starlight]

{comfort - K.T.}

Character: Kuroo Tetsurou

Fandom: Haikyuu

Reader: Gender Neutral

Warnings: descriptions of anxiety/an oncoming panic attack, trace amounts of angst (but mostly comfort), coming out to someone, fluff at the end <3

Summary: on the way home from a date, you come out as bisexual to your boyfriend and he is nothing but supportive.

Note: Hi! This is my first post on tumblr, so I’m still trying to get used to formatting things properly, please be patient with me lol. Anyway, I wrote this because there definitely needs to be more comfort surrounding this topic- I’ve read a handful of one-shots like this, but I wanted to add my own contribution. (This was originally posted on my wattpad, so rest assured if you come across it there, it wasn’t reposted w/o permission)

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Breathe. You'll be fine, (Y/n).

The drive back to your place was silent, which normally would have been calming for you, but tonight it only pushed you further into your own head. If Kuroo picked up on your discomfort from the driver's seat, he didn't mention it.

You were grateful for that since it gave you more time to think over how you were going to go about your current situation.

Or maybe it was a bad thing. Maybe he knew something was up.

So far the night had been perfect- he had taken you out for dinner at your favourite fast food place and then to a nearby bookstore. You had stopped in front of a really pretty wall to take some cute pictures and they had turned out perfect.

He told you he loved you for the first time. And you said it back.

Now you were worried that your silence was off-putting to him.

You had said your first I love you's and the car ride home was silent? Did that tell him that you were having doubts? You didn't want him to have doubts. Would he doubt you really meant it if you didn't speak up? If the ride remained silent for the next ten minutes, would he think you only said it so things wouldn't be awkward?

Anxiety bubbled up inside you as you continued to think. You didn't notice that Kuroo was giving you little side glances until he gently nudged you out of your thoughts.

"Hey, you okay? You're being quiet." His voice was calm and steady, which was a stark contrast to your erratic heartbeat.

You managed a single nod in his direction and a small smile.  It'd be fine to hold in a bit longer, wouldn't it? Oh god, why did you want to do this again?

He took a hand off the wheel and placed it over yours. You felt him give you a reassuring squeeze. "You sure? Cause you know you can tell me if anything's bothering you. I love you, I want to be here for you however I can."

Ah, yes. That's why. That's why you wanted to be honest with him and trust him with something you had been keeping close to your heart for a while now. You knew tonight was the right time.

"I love you too." You continued to stare at him for a while as another wave of silence washed over the two of you. This one wasn't as anxiety inducing, even though you hadn't really answered his question.

He continued to drive with your hand in his. It was dark out but you could still see him for the most part in the headlights of the other cars and the street lamps you passed. He looked so content after you said that. So happy to just have that with someone. You hoped he always looked like that with you. You hoped noting changed after tonight.

You don't know when you started crying, but when he looked away from the road for a second to check on you again, you saw his eyes widen. "Oh god, (Y/n/n), what's wrong?"

He looked into the rearview mirror for a second before pulling over on the side of the road. He turned to you fully and pulled you into a hug (which was awkward because of the arm rest between you guys). He ran a hand over your hair in an attempt to quiet your sobbing.

He didn't push you to answer his question, instead opting to wait until you were calm enough to talk again. Only when you finally moved away from him, collected yourself a bit and nodded at him to show you were okay, did he ask you again.

"What's wrong?" His voice was soft and full of concern and his hand never left yours.

You sniffed. "I'm sorry for scaring you, this is all out of nowhere."

He shook his head. "No, it's okay, take your time. Was it something I did tonight? Were you not ready to take that step? I know we can't take it back, but if you're not ready to use it yet, I don't mind waiting until-"

He was cut off by your hand moving up to his arm. "You did everything right. I love you, Tetsurou, I'm glad we took this step, but..." you bit your lip and dropped your gaze.

Were you really about to do this? You thought you were nervous before, but now that you were moments away from sharing your best kept secret with him, those nerves seemed to multiply by a million.

You felt his thumb come up between your eyebrows and smooth the space that was now wrinkled. "I'm listening."

You knew you didn't owe it to him- that you could wait until there were no nerves left whatsoever.

You knew that. And yet...

You wanted to tell him. Part of you wanted to finally get it out. To stop hiding it and share this part of yourself with someone you loved and who loved you back. You knew he wouldn't be disgusted or suddenly hate you- he wasn't that kind of person.

You were just so scared of even the slightest change. You liked how things were now, you didn't want a dynamic change with him, you didn't want a shift, you just wanted it to stay as blissful as it currently was.

You also knew that the nerves might not go away until after you told him. They'd definitely come back the next time you had to do this. To be fair, Kuroo would be the first and only person besides yourself and one other friend of yours to know, so of course there would be nerves. This was a new thing for you.

You took a deep breath. You could do this. It would be fine.

"I love you," your voice came out thick from holding back more tears. "And I want to tell you this because I've never liked hiding things from people I love unless it's absolutely necessary."

He nodded and wiped away a fallen tear.

"This is something that isn't necessary for me to hide from you, but I'm still scared. I'm scared of change and I'm scared of getting hurt. You say that you would never hurt me, Tetsurou, so I'm really trusting you with my heart here."

He grabbed your hand for support and you gulped, nerves once again growing by the second.

"I'm bisexual," the truth jumped out of your mouth before you think things over again.

You clamped your eyes shut. You were relieved you told him, it was a true weight off your shoulders, but now you were worried (though significantly less) about his reaction.

If you had kept your eyes open after blurting it out, you would have seen his eyes widen a bit and then return to normal. As if this news didn't phase him one bit.

The car was silent for a minute before you felt him squeeze your hand. "(Y/n), you know this doesn't change anything between us, right?"

You opened your eyes and the first thing you saw was a reassuring smile on his face. When you didn't say anything, he continued to speak.

"I love you, and what that means, my dear, is that I love and appreciate every part of you. This included, okay? Thank you for trusting me enough with it, I can't imagine how difficult it was for you to tell me."

He put his forehead against yours. "This doesn't change the way I think of you, feel about you or see you. You're still (Y/n). I still love you. "

Your heart was so full in that moment.

Everything was the same. He said nothing would change and you truly believed him. He made you feel safe and loved, and that was all you could ask for in this situation. You squeezed his hand back twice, a silent thank you.

He seemed to understand, thankfully, and leaned back into his seat after kissing you on the cheek. "Right, so I think we should head back to your place now. I was promised movie picking rights tonight."

You smiled at him as he winked at you then started driving.

And suddenly everything was as it was before. The content look on his face from earlier didn't waver once, and his hand didn't leave yours. Just two lovers enjoying each other's company, no worries on their minds.

Almost as if nothing had changed, you thought. This was the only response you needed from him. Calming. Reassuring. Safe. It was Kuroo, at the end of the day.

Later, your apartment would be filled with loud laughs and sarcastic remarks. A movie would be playing in the background that neither of you really payed attention to because your conversation was too exciting. Music would be played at 2 am as you slow danced and held each other close.

Just two lovers enjoying each other's company, no worries on their minds any longer.

Yeah, you took in one last deep breath. You'll be fine, (Y/n).

[ink-on-the-brink]

Yandere Engie x Reader ~ Dark Nights Come With A Cost (Part 1)

TW: This story is not going to be for the faint of heart. If you're not fine with heavier topics please skip this. I'll try to add a tw when things get especially bad.

(NOTE: This is set more in a modern AU and begins in college years. )

You stood, book bag near you, tapping your feet as you waited for who you had only recently known would he your tutor. Your eyes continuously scanned the area around you, trying to find his face. You soon found your fingertips tapping on your arm, the silence of the library somewhat deafening to hear. You hated how quiet it was, it only made your screaming thoughts louder.

God you just hoped he would show up soon...

-

Dell walked up the steps, making his way into the familiar place.

A sanctuary you could say.

As he did he was staring at his phone, analyzing the picture of who he would be meeting today. As he stared a short thought came to mind.

'Had ta give me the good-lookin one huh?' He smirked at the thought. Originally it had been a friend of his assigned to you, but she had pretty much begged him to take you off her hands. Why she so severely didn't want to associate with you was beyond him. In fact he was rather excited to meet you.

When he finally looked up from his phone he spotted you immediately. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel a bit of nervousness flow through him, especially considering this was the first time he'd ever be tutoring anyone.

You were leaned against a wall, your bookbag on the nearby table as you looked around. To Dell you looked like you were taken straight from a movie. Not surprising considering Dell was always into those rather cheesy romances. That and old western movies.

A strange mix, then again he wasn't anything if not a rather strange person. At least to anyone who knew him beyond a surface level that is.

You soon saw him approaching, relief washing over you now that you wouldn't have to stand here waiting anymore. Once he stood close he reached out a hand, a warm smile on his face.

"Y/n rahght?" He asked before anything else, his southern drawl catching your attention immideatly. You quickly took his hand as you tried to return the smile, though even you could tell it was strained.

"You'd be right on that. It's nice to meet you...?" You implied a question as you took your hand back. Catching on quickly he went to finish your sentence for you.

"Dell, though people like ta call me Engie from tahme ta tahme" He spoke with a light-hearted tone, his behavior a lot friendlier than you would have expected. Slightly confused by his words you gave him a questioning look. Noticing the stare he decided to elaborate.

"Ah'm real inta the Engineerin field and people lahke ta pin me down to a topic. Else I'd talk their ears off bout pretty much anythin" He explained the nickname in almost a joking form and for a moment a genuine smile crossed your face, his smile being almost annoyingly contagious. The moment was fleeting though and eventually you went back to radio static to avoid having to address what you had been going through for the past few weeks.

"Yeah. Anyway, we should probably get to work. I doubt you want to be here all day" You cut to the chase, not really wanting to bother him with your presence too much.

Due to being turned away you didn't notice the slightly disappointed look found on his face. He had hoped to get to know you a bit more before you two started considering he'd be your go-to for help for the rest of the year. Then again he supposed he should have expected to get straight to it considering that's what both of you came here to do.

So off into the world of complicated books and annoying facts you went.

Surprisingly it didn't start off too bad. You caught on quickly and for the first half an hour or so Dell was convinced that you just wanted a tutor to get answers quicker rather than finding them. It didn't take long for him to realize what was actually going on though. Every few questions you would begin to space out, as if your mind entirely dissociated from what you were doing. Now if it was one or two times Dell wouldn't have thought much of it, but by the third time he started to realize that this was in fact why you had needed a tutor. As tends to happen with Dell he got a bit curious, wondering what caused you to space out so much. Was it just how your brain worked or did you maybe have something on your mind? Were you upset? Was something going on? And why did you keep pushing him off when he tried to joke with you? Did he upset you? Or were you already upset before he showed up? Dell knew he was probably reading a bit too much into this but he never really could stop his intrusive thoughts-

Ping!

The high-pitched sound caught his attention. His eyes quickly glanced at the phone that laid on the table beside you before he quickly turned back to you. You seem to ignore the sound entirely so he decided to do the same.

Ping! Ping!

Two more sounds came. You ignored those as well and once again he followed suit.

Bzzzzz

You sighed, knowing you didn't have a choice but to pick up your phone now.

"Sorry, just give me a second." Quickly you grabbed your phone before hitting the decline button and going to turn the sound off. At least that's what you were going to do until you stopped, your eyes getting caught on the messages that flooded your screen. Your grip grew tighter on your phone as your face went blank. You clicked onto the messages, quickly scrolling through the walls of text that caused your gut to churn.

Now Dell hadn't meant to, but seeing as he was sitting right next to you he managed to catch a glimpse of your phone. He was frozen solid at the sentence he had seen and thus quickly turned his eyes back, wondering if he'd seen that right. He was completely shocked when he was met with that and even worse.

'Fucking disgusting'

'What a crazy ass psyco'

'Are you really trying to play the victim?'

'Stop trying to ruin Damiens life!'

'Fucking lunatic'

'a monster really'

'Why don't you go fucking kill yourself? Not even your daddy wants you on this Earth, why are you still here?'

Dell found his throat tightening as he noticed the look on your face and realized that these comments were directed toward you. He found his eyes glancing between the phone and you, somewhat horrified with what he was seeing.

After a moment of looking over the texts you simply turned your phone off before laying it back down on the table. Afterward you turned back to Dell who quickly changed his expression to neutral, not wanting you to know he just sort of invaded your privacy.

"Sorry uh...I um...I probably should have turned that off when we started..." You commented with a hesitant and quiet voice before turning back to your work, unaware that he'd seen anything.

The session continued on, no disruptions coming afterward. As much as Dell tried to pretend like nothing had happened though a shift in his demeanor was noticeable. He joked less and he also began to space out, leaving the rest of the tutoring session rather unproductive. By the end you both made the mutual decision that you were both 'tired' and decided to pack up for the day. You made a time for the next meet up which was thankfully going to be at a louder and more busy area. After getting then details you pulled your backpack from the table putting it on and turning to leave. Just before you were about to start walking though, Dell's voice stopped you.

"Wait! Uh, here" you turned back, seeing a small paper outstretched to you. You eyed it for a moment before slowly taking it, noticing quickly that it was his number. You gave him a bit of a questioning look, wondering why you would need this if you two had already planned the next meet-up.

"It's uh...in case ya need anythin" Dell answered your silent question, a nervousness found hidden in his tone. You stared down at the number a moment, questioning whether you should keep it or not. In the end, you decided it was probably better if you did. In case your next session was canceled.

"Yeah, sure. That makes sense. Uh, here" you quickly pulled off your backpack, finding a loose paper before ripping off a piece, using one of your pens to write your number on it before handing it to him.

"In case something happens" you spoke as he carefully took the paper, a small smile found on his face at the small victory.

"Yeah...I'll be seein ya" he answered before sending you a final grin and heading off further into the library. As he turned and left your view your eyes found their way back to the small piece of paper before carefully tucking it into your pockets and heading off to finish your day, aka crash on your bed and hope sleep gets to you before your thoughts do.

Next chapter

[honoredbastard]

I COME BACK WITH THOUGHTS/THEORIES ON ITADORI AND HIS RELATIONS- I THINK.

anyways, so i'll just point this out: i'm not good at speaking my thoughts in an organized manner. i absolutely suck at it, i speak on how my brain brings up the thoughts so i might ramble, get over my head in a thought, etc. i can't control it so i apologize in advance for the jumpiness of the texts. i will spell a lot of things wrong and not everything will be correct, as i read translations and on a manga site. don't worry it's not illegal, i believe.

MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD.

i apologize for my absence! last week or two weeks ago the tower to my computer completely broke and will not turn on. i tried to repair it and follow my fathers instructions but nothing worked. even cleaned off the fan and went through countless nights readjusting things. it's not my cords either so to help me out my father is working extra shifts to get me a new pc. so in the meantime i'll do small posts like these but not full writing/head canons until i have a computer tower lol. a family member was kind enough to allow me to have their phone while we work throughout this issue.

now onto the actual topic:

kenjaku and itadori's relationship. ( family wise ).

for context in the most recent chapter, 160 "colony" kamo shows up in sasaki's home and talks to her about the culling game and a barrier. but that's not the point, the point is as he's guiding her to the barrier inside her "dream" at the end he says "oh right. i almost forgot to tell you. thank you for getting along with my son." and then she is awakened inside the barrier, in her pajamas beside iguchi. when sasaki and iguchi look at the barrier and gather themselves they bring up kamo.

sasaki asked iguchi if he mentioned his son and he says no. this leaves sasaki in a state of confusion when itadori flashes in her mind. she says his name aloud like she finally connected the dots. now. why am i bringing up this whole kenjaku thanking sasaki for being his "son"'s friend. it throws me off because why didn't he thank iguchi?

did he not think iguchi meant their friendship? because sasaki was the one uninjured and still counted itadori as a friend? does iguchi not consider itadori as a friend anymore?

because we haven't seen these two at all since the incident. that raised many questions in me. as well "how can itadori be related to kamo?" and itadori is related to choso.

because kamo's technique is explained ( vaguely. we are aware he can create barriers, take over bodies, and has incredible cursed tools. chapter 134. this is also where choso makes his connection ( i believe. ) to itadori yuji as his brother. but because we saw this with todo many thought itadori just had another unconsious technique that allows the person who is hit create false memories and believe of a completely made up relationship with itadori without his knowledge. but alas, i was wrong. ) and we're given more hints shown than told ( imo ) i tried my best to make sense out of the situation and what he said. i think my conclusions are pretty solid, so continuing on.

we're given very little history on itadori, his past, and family. at the start of the manga we know that itadori's only family he knows is his grandfather and that he is ill in the hospital. at the very very beginning we learn that itadori is your average cute, fluffy, laid back but strong and goofy protagonist. in smaller words: itadori is kirby but even cuter and dumber.

my first impressions of him is a pineapple. if you're confused to this saying: it's calling a person prickly on the outside but sweet on the inside. and this is true, itadori's grandfather seems prickly and cold on the outside but he genuinely cares for itadori.

he raised itadori for all we know and did that with his all in assumption. but this ends up backfiring onto itadori, because he cares so much for his grandson - he ends up leaving a " curse " on yuji.

help people. save them.

itadori takes this to heart as his grandfathers speech is his last one. when he looks over to his grandfather the man is dead and now yuji is left alone. then the following events occur.

at this point in time i assumed itadori was an orphan ( he technically is if we're connecting the dots. his parents has not been shown, he doesn't speak of them, they aren't in the picture. we can conclude either they disowned itadori or died before he could make complete memories of them. )

but when we are shown in chapter 143 itadori's parents we see this "woman" jin ( yuji's father ) and his grandfather talking about has the same scar pattern. this scar pattern is either stitching ( assuming that is how kamo keeps the top of the opened skull from coming off. this is also how kamo revealed his cursed technique / body of sorts ( the brain, assuming that is kenjaku in his cursed technique and not the body / puppet he is controlling " getou suguru " ) to gojou. )

this is the only way i find kamo being able to assign itadori as his son. why is that you might be asking this dumbass here.

we do not have the full story, exact date, location, and full context of the memory/dream itadori is having. this cannot be fake either because kamo would than have no reason to call itadori his son. or is there? anyways.

take a leap of faith with me. imagine that before itadori is born ( he seems no more than a few weeks or days old in this memory. hence why i am thinking my conclusion is pretty solid in theory. but yknow gege, there might be something different. ) anywhooo.

TW. D3ATH/IMPLYING ANTI LIFE ATTEMPT

kamo had to have taken over yuji's mothers body after an accident OR after she gave birth to yuji. his grandfather is interrupted by her before he can finish his sentence but it seems to be leading to the conclusion that either kaori ( yuji's mother ) died while giving birth to yuji or kaori could not conceive and tried to take her own life or cause an accident that would take her life. ( i read a fan translation for this part but im pretty sure i also read the official translation today too and it added up to the same. )

i believe in the first idea, but since kamo's cursed technique wasn't explained in detail i don't know the conditions of his body technique. does the original host of the body have to be dead? can he regenerate body limbs ( i highly doubt. getou lost an arm during his fight with yuta. overconfident dick. reminding me of an ex ANTWAYS. i forgive him for being overconfident smooch. he learned. OFF TOPIC but continuing on i promise.

this is being continued from the cut off point. i'm so upset so it'll just be summarized. i can't believe this shit lol i took three hours just to finish it for it to literally cut off the bottom half.

continuing on in a sadge mood. kamo must not have the complete ability to take over a body. after all getou took his only arm he had as he was dying and choked his own body to his full ability. getou was willing to die ( possibly, you never know he could be alive if he killed his own body. moving on. ) just to have the chance to save his friend from being swallowed by a damn box.

so there has to be a chance that kamo cannot fully take over the previous persons complete consious and memory of their body. if getou still had his other arm after losing the fight to yuta, he could've choked kamo with both arms. in theory kamo wouldn't be able to control the right arm and die to the previous host choking him to death.

so why wouldn't the other hosts do it? after all, kamo did say it was his first time experiencing such a thing. assuming kamo has lived throughout many bodies in his 150+ lifespan none of the previous hosts could take control of their body.

i believe getou was completely influenced by gojou and his six eyes. there is no way gojou would even try to speak out to his friend unless he had an inkling or saw getou still in there. helpless and without the ability to save himself from the cage he's in.

being used and puppeteered in his own body by an external force. laughing in the world he could not. putting getou into a constant misery and defeat that he couldn't escape his hell. the one he tried so hard to fight and get out of. even if it was the wrong path.

gojou was the last person to witness getou dying. he had to watch getou bleed out after their conversation because he couldn't bring himself to kill his friend. the one he spent his whole jujutsu student life with. so for gojou to say such a thing to getou despite all that he did had to break getou out of his misery and give him that small sliver of hope that he could do something. of course he failed, but i doubt that's going to be the end of that.

the only way i see kamo being related to yuji is if he took over kaori's body before the pregnancy. assuming that when kamo takes over a body he becomes one with said body and is that person for however long he lives in said body. my only thing is, can he take over a persons body whilst they are alive? i would go more in depth like i did the last time but i am extremely upset about my work being erased so that's the end of this part.

thank you for reading! i have one more thing for you though.

the last time we see sukuna in a manga page after the shibuya incident is where he is on his throne and in his domain. this is after yuji is stabbed by yuta and is presumed "dead" at the time. he seems to be interested in yuta and i can think of 2-3 things. I would love to hear your theories too so don't be afraid to barge into my dms like the koolaid man.

A - sukuna is interested in Yuta because of his ability to use the reverse healing technique ( only a few sorcerers know this. sukuna being the first. shoko being the second one to be told that she has this power and then gojou. ) because of this he sees potential in yuta as well or has added this boy into his plans. after all, there is very few that can make sukuna make an expression that isn't an RBF. aka megumi and possibly gojou. I was looking at the page of him stabbing yuji and noticed we only see the entry point of where the blade enters. it's smaller because some got chunked off so its a possibility yuta used this to his advantage when "killing" yuji and instead hit an artery that could kill him but quickly healed him afterwards. or just his heart. the ideas.

B. Rika, Yuta is able to completely control Rika as shown. Even though he claims he is on the weak side, these two combined seem like an unstoppable force. He may be interested in Rika as she is a curse that has been put on someone that can fully control it. Not many people is shown to be able to control their curse. As we haven't met many.

this was enti and that's the last of my post! thank you for reading and it was a fun one. even though i had to restore this shit. anyways, i'd love you to add or fix up my ideas and tell me your thoughts and opinions! Thanks a bunch!

^ this is for pure humor