#anyone wanna read my fics later?
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omg 2222 fics in the sgdlr tag what a nice number :O
#link click#shiguang dailiren#ao3#ive been frequenting the tag a lot recently shjghjhgjhg i am that person who saves everything for later and then instead of going to my tbr#i just go and browse recent fics in tag#pls 😭😭😭 sm good fics i wanna get to#also idk if anyone else is like this but the more i read the less i write i have sm ideas in plot bunny purgatory#but i haven't managed to start up a draft for anything even tho i have many ideas floating around#this isn't relevant to the post actually but erm .
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into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.
the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the witch.
for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.
the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.
but they were never whole to begin with, were they?
qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.
olly says nothing.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new.#*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground*#someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything#maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory#and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey#and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all#and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them.#the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao#idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲#i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore#so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol#and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to#and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them.#i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly#but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.
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transfem scott getting lots of support from ramona and kim in the early 2000's when shit's very taboo but they all 3 have a fire forged bond and lord if they aren't going to make sure they're all as happy as they can be because they've come this far and I dunno it just makes me happy all three of them
YES YES YES
It makes me very happy as well,,
Like I've said before. General Trans Scott enthusiast here- I love the idea of their little support network *violent coughing* I (we?) mean polycule *violent coughing* so fucking much.
Ramona I think has a bit of a more gentle hand with reassuring Scott with gender issues, but sometimes she just can't help herself from some pointed banter or teasing- how could you with someone so dense? (Said w affection)
And then Kim I think is more blunt. But like, in a good way mostly, you know? The kinda blunt that makes you snap to attention and go "Oh. Yeah that was silly of me." And if Ramona's started some sort of banter? Kim is SO piling on. Maybe sometimes she's a bit TOO blunt with it- but it's only because she's so firm in her support. She wants Scott to Get It Together- and be happier for it. So if some ribbing now and again is in order, then goddamnit she will do so! Anything to crack that shell.
And ohhh can you imagine how they would react to some transphobic bullshit?? Unholy terror would be driven into the offender before they walk off with an absurd amount of coins between them. I can feel it in my bones. Scott doesn't even have to lift a finger (if the transphobe is even noticed/processed at all, bc I honestly can see Scott just. Not realizing someone's being transphobic.) Kim giving someone a lashing with her tongue as distraction and then Ramona coming in with the hammer- BAM! Free Money! Paying literally with your life for your transphobia. A Better And Just World.
And of course (transfem Scott more specifically, here,) the way Scott would start to flourish under their support... cagey and maybe a little (perhaps a lot-) resistant to start- but Kim's blunt affirmations and no nonsense attitude for bullshit (which is what Scott insisting on "being cis" would be, c'mon now,) and Ramona's also low bullshit tolerance but less Stabby (bc I won't lie, that's probably how Kim's comments would feel,) assurances? Ough... My Heart... Be Still-
I would Kill for them, Your Honor-
(Ran out of tags so putting this in the body of the post- I am SO tired someone pls sound off if this isn't as coherent as I am hoping this is. I WAS trying to nap and get the extra sleep I desperately needed but the writing bug... it Bit Me.... only a little but enough to stop that process-)
#for my trans masc scott hcs I am actually so seriously and deeply fond of Kim having been SO supportive of Scott in HS. It's so important +#+to me. it also makes their whole relationship sting a little more but ohhh man. I can just see Kim hyping him up and helping him get more+#+comfortable in his skin. Lisa would definitely help there too imo but just. ahhhhhgshcksjdhg#i need to put some transmasc scott hs stuff on my fic docket. but I have so many wips rn x~x pray for me chat#(literally stopped writing something to answer this dhdjshdjdgw I Am Part Of The Problem-)#as always to people looking for transfem scott stuff I point you towards Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Egg on AO3- as well as Amy +#+Pilgrim's Precious Little Life (also AO3)#the second has 2 chapters out currently but I believe the 3rd is definitely underway! and then the first has 22 chapters out currently and#+I believe part 3 has just kicked off w that latest one#you've seen some of the authors here before I'm like 99% certain- even if you may not have realized it lol#headcanons#scott pilgrim headcanons#sp comic#spto#spvtw#ramona flowers#kim pine#scott pilgrim#sckimona#(not putting it into ship stuff but like. Definitely what was on the mind)#trans headcanon#trans scott pilgrim#ooc#asks#anon#gmorning all btw. i am still So Tired. I'm gonna try and maybe make more icons today if anyone has any requests? or otherwise I do have +#+some shippy stuff I need to get done. ninjastar edits. vague lukim thing potentially. kinda wanna draw more furry kimona--#i could do furry sckimona..... h m m m m.....#we'll see what happens! admittedly i do also have some Gaming Plans later today and I am helpless but to allow the monopolization of my tim#(fellow lesbians out there will Understand /hj) (if the person i would prefer to have not read that read that Politely Ignore pls-)
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Insane over the awakening trio again. We fought a war together, saved each other multiple times, and I know for a fact I can trust you with my life. We have never learned to socialize normally so we can't interact in a normal environment for five seconds without dunking on each other. I would follow you through time and space and abandon everything with you. You are the living reminder of every awful thing that have ever happened to me. Our traumas make us hurt each other at every turn. We're the only ones who know what lead to each other becoming Like That. Our jobs are barely in the same area and we don't even hang out that much outside of necessities. You are all I have left. I cannot fucking understand you. I am the only one in this entire world who has the ability to even try to.
x
#my text#asks#fe13#This ask is so good I wanna publish it first without any of my commentary and then i'll rb it with my own comments later#this is just fun to read#thinking of this line in particular:#'Our jobs are barely in the same area and we don't even hang out that much outside of necessities. '#i don't show it enough in my fics because a lot of my fics are fates focused or au focused for convenience sake so i want the awakening tri#to be hanging out way more and have had their growth but canonically before awakening they really like. Do Not Associate.#i think of this for so many of the awakening kids in general but like. they all travel through time together. they go through something lik#the future past DLC together. their lives depend on each other so much. most of them cannot stand each other.#inigo and owain Do Not fucking get along and never have really until fates when they're both adults and even then they're ribbing each othe#there's no doubt to me that they have gotten into a physical fight at least once before. or they avoid each other and are extremely rude#when forced to work together outside life or death scenarios. especially pre-awakening.#in their supports owain tries to be nice to severa repeatedly and she goes out of her way to be extra rude to the point#that he has a crises about being weird. and even if their s support isnt' canon#severa notes that owain was always nice to her and she struggled with being nice back throughout their lives#inigo and severa don't get along either. inigo is trying to be “nice”/build his confidence of talking to others with compliments#but he's genuinely condescending and quite rude and doesn't listen to severa telling him to stop talking to her like that.#note: severa actively goes out of her way to be mean to a lot of people back then. she's not easy to get along with.#(interestingly she tells noire she only does this to take people down a peg and doesn't do it to people with no self esteem like noire.#(similar to niles in a way. to be explored later.)#These people are Not Close and they are not each other's first choices to hang out. and they probably were aware of each other in#childhood but much more aware when they're older. owain's childhood friends were probably the Justice Cabal.#severa canonically hung with noire tot he point where noire grew up relying on her. i suspect she hung with the girls most of all#inigo... i'm not sure he has any close childhood friends. which could be attributed to maybe (a) living in Regna Ferox with Olivia#if you believe they went with basilio after the first war#or maybe learning early on to hide his real self early on so he never lets anyone get close. he clearly Cares about everyone in a#'won't let anyone die if he can help it/won't let them die alone (gerome/owain)' kind of way#but is he Close with them? I don't think so. not until Awakening and he has A supports
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i've realized i don't actually like liu///shen as much as i like liu qingge himself and his unrequited tragically uninformed shitshow crush on shen qingqiu
#keri chats#adding fandom tags to this later i don't wanna piss anyone off bc this isn't ship hate i just. am having thoughts about my own preferences#with the character ships and story etc. etc lol#love art of them i see but when i read fics im always like ''smth feels off or missing'' and lo and behold. epiphany. it was binghe LMAO#this is all super funny since this pairing is what i was first interested in with sv and i even read fics for it before reading the books#and now im squarely in the bing///qiu camp#svsss#danmei
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Nothing I could come up with will ever be as romantic as Her Sky, Her Sea 💔
#ramble#how to write romance when others have already written about love so much more beautifully than i ever could 😔#i wanted the title of my dailah/kina fic to be a direct reference to sey//loy since. well yeah!#both happen during the b/urning s/hores arc... and of course s/eyka and kina are sisters. and it makes sense to contrast aloy and dailah#but Her Sun Her Stars doesn't have the same ring to it does it? but it's the only thing that makes sense for them!#does anyone wanna cheer read this fic once it's done............... please...................#i think i just don't like how the fic is coming along in general :( my writing is so rusty i should just be drawing instead 💔#actually i should not be doing that either. i should not be avoiding my responsibilities by distracting myself with fan works 😐#eh no matter! i'll worry about it out later <3
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there is something a little scary in plastering some semi-new flesh on the skeleton of my, what... 6 year old AO3 account? but then I remember that I'm a damn near 30 year old, unemployed adult, and I'm writing about the inner turmoil bunches of pixels experience because they're in pretend-love.
and then I feel almost fine again
anyway here's a link
#squirrel speaks#no this is not wankfic 2: the wankening#which is. i'm afraid just its working title now#but i decided to post my little elf/vampire!elf thing there too#over the last five years i've gotten some really lovely comments on my old-ass fics#and i'd love to respond to them but i kinda also want them to be sort of a time capsule of those old things#and i don't wanna get sappy with anyone like#“i'm reading this years later and i love you i love you i love you”#so.............. this is gonna be apparently a fucking thing now#rest assured i'm kissing everyone who commented and consents to it directly on the middle of their sweet foreheads
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It's midnight and I should be asleep but instead I'm thinking about how I haven't read a book for fun since high school and I don't think I know how to digest a novel anymore. I haven't been in high school for four years now.
I used to be The Bookish One (TM). I remember reading a full novel in a day (it wasn't very good but I didn't know that when I got it). A book I bought ages ago because it seemed interesting is still sitting on a shelf in my room and has never been opened. What happened to me... What happened to me who the fuck am I anymore
#delete later#and i don't even want to read anymore#it probably doesn't help that i started associating reading with parental pressure once the fourth book of a series i used to like came out#and my mother was like 'you NEED to read it its so good' but i had classes and stuff and was overwhelmed#but now i have time and#i still dont#and who even am i#i was reading narnia at 5#but at 22 i cant even hop on ao3 and read fic (tbf that's also bc I don't really have any specific fandoms right now)#who would have thought feeling bad for not entirely understanding an animatic you sent a friend several weeks ago#would lead to an identity crisis#i need a hug#and sleep#but i don't have anyone irl to hug me#and i csnt relax enough to sleep#fuck im crying now because of this#can someone knock me out#what is WRONG with me#im so broken and fucked up and pathetic#i wanna sleep so bad#but i cant stop thinking#i dont know what to do#i guess ill just. idk. keep lying down and feeling like shit
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Personal vent and ugly mental illness symptom talk
So, I should unpack this with my therapist, but shit's embarrassing, so I'm just gonna vent it out on the public internet lmao.
I was typing out a whole thing about how I KNOW I'm aromantic, and despite that, still have moments where my brain gaslights me into believing I'm in fairytale love.
I should preface by saying I have not officially been diagnosed with either additional mental illnesses I believe that I have (B.P//D and AD//HD [which lol being on AD//HD meds since antidepressants didn't do anything has given me some notable improvement, but I'm still without a diagnosis], nor Au//tism) DESPITE repeatedly asking multiple therapists multiple times and a psych like 100 times to give me a definitive yes or a no.
But holy shit. So I'm typing about how I've 'Favourite Person'-ed multiple people at multiple points in my life across all ages, and I'm like, okay, it's been a hot minute since I refreshed my definition of that, I should make sure that's still a thing and not something I just made up or has been dropped from the symptoms or whatever the case. I wanna make sure I'm using it right in this rant about how falling into Favourite Personing people in the past has made me believe 'wait, maybe I'm not aro, this HAS to be like the deepest truest love in existence, despite my years of knowing I'm aro.' Like, I'm so aro I once calculated out the date, months in advance, I was gonna tell someone I was dating that I loved them, only because it seemed like a socially acceptable amount of time to say it. I wasn't thinking about what I actually felt lmao. (And that was probably not a FP relationship, too, so I know that was absolutely an aro incident.)
Anyways, so I'm reading a couple articles to make sure I articulate my points about how it's conflicted with being aro, and I read about how people falling into having a FP will even hate that person for the slightest perceived wrongs. (I knew this, I just was thinking about the love incidents since that's what was related to my point about being aro.)
And holy shit. That just. Unlocked a memory I have about when I was an older kid, like probably 9ish (and older), I HATED my best friend of many years and who would continue being my bff for more years. Who was my everything. I couldn't stop thinking about how much I hated them. I would lie awake at night (insomnia too tho) thinking about how much I hated them and I couldn't understand why I didn't just stop being their friend and start hanging out with old friends more instead. I just couldn't do it, I wanted to hang out with THEM. I was so sick and feeling jealous of them whenever I found out they'd been hanging out with someone else one-on-one and I wasn't invited. Even when it was their own family. One time they brought me a plate of cookies by surprise for (before) a holiday that they'd just made with their cousin or something. And I felt so sick about how I wasn't there for that, it felt like an insult. I couldn't have put this into words, unless I just now read that point in an article and made a connection. It was so confusing, because usually the people who hated their 'best friend' was like, the mean girl kinda character who intentionally does it to hurt the innocent main character or something, but I was the one who felt wronged every time those feelings would come up. And this wasn't just a 'man it's so annoying when they do this specific thing.' This was active stewing, in a slow cooker, all day and all night kinda thing.
I was never romantically or sexually attracted to that person, but I probably wrote all this off as either unrelated sexuality or gender bullshit when I figured that out later. But knowing now that there was definitely someone (actually, I'm thinking of WAY more people as I'm typing this, and just realized why I stopped loving a band and started hating them 'for no reason' wow lmao) that I FP'ed who I definitely WASN'T attracted to, suddenly convinces me that I was probably right in suspecting B.P//D. (Or, y'know, maybe I don't have that specifically, and it's the symptom from a different facet of mental illness or whatever.) I've been so hung up over how I'm aro, sometimes ace, and then this 'only' happens towards people I am attracted to. Like, 'maybe it was love and I'm just terrible at it.' (No! It's not! Aro is correct! That's just the brain manipulating me to get another hit of dopamine off a FP! It's just easier to happen to someone I'm attracted to!)
It's no fucking wonder why I always worried about people hating me in secret, and it's because I was absolutely making myself insufferable because of that worry. I know for a fact that some people definitely did hate (or. Lmao. Shut up. Like, 'resented' maybe fits better) me for demanding constant attention that was never reciprocated by anyone I've ever met in my entire life.
I probably wrote-off so many symptoms as 'I was a moody teen and kind of an asshole.' Except it happened before and after I was a teen, too. I would have excused everything that happened during and before high school, when I should have been looking for these patterns I kept following for years after. It doesn't help that my first relationship was wildly toxic (mostly against me in this one case), and while I didn't feel particularly bothered by it after I got over the nightmare breakup, I just kept going 'What if it was the sole cause of all of this and I'm just repressing that?' Well, phew! No, it's not, that was thankfully just a toxic embarrassment, and not the source of all my problems. I was already on the shitstorm trajectory. That's a major relief. If you can call it that. I really don't like discussing that one, but not in a trauma way, more like a, you don't really wanna discuss pissing your pants on accident kinda way. Unpleasant to remember, wildly embarrassing to talk about, but ultimately not a life-altering event.
Ughhhhh. Maybe I should bring this (the mental illness not the relationship) up to the therapist. But like, I haven't been close friends with anyone in like 6 years or so, so I don't have any current or even recent examples about how being in friendships has always turned out Russian Roulette for me. My therapist doesn't seem to believe how bad it was for me to be in friendships where I was unintentionally FP'ing someone. Because besides the depression and anxiety (and mild OCD), I'm a totally normal person to her who's just dealing with shit health problems and grief (and frustration from being trans and not in a safe place to transition). Y'know, normal life problems most people will feel at some point, just chronic in my case. I may be weird, but I'm obviously far from the worst she's seen. I'm not uniquely mentally ill.
((Except the whole 'treatment resistant depression' diagnosis bullshit from the psych, but I'm learning it's not just mental issues I have that are treatment resistant lol.))
I tried talking to her about a small part of all this before, but IDK what I did wrong, she took it 100% as me being the one unintentionally wronged and not setting MY own boundaries (lmao), so like I don't know how to word this in a way she'd understand that most of my problems in this area were my own fault. (I mean that both negatively and neutrally, because it's an ugly side of mental illness, but not one I chose or know how to help.)
Not being in close friendships with anyone has had an understandably sane-ifying effect on me (barring the, y'know, depression/anxiety/OCD and baseline weirdness), which has gotten me trapped for the 5th time in 6 years of making my therapists believe I'm better off than I actually am. (I've done this to every therapist I've ever had before that, too.) But like, again, at least for the past 3 therapists and the latest psych, I AM actually better for not having close friends lmao. Only one therapist ever had one visit of me wanting to address these concerns specifically while they were currently active, and by the next visit, we had to shift exclusively to sudden new grief lol. (What a shitshow. It somehow always ends up that whenever I wanna treat an illness, it's like opening a can of worms, except the worms are firecrackers and I didn't set the can down and step back a few feet.)
Like, it obviously feels safer to not have close friends at all because there's no fear of abandonment if I have no one to begin with. And, genuinely, I operate better when I'm alone. But now that I've known safety, it's hard to imagine throwing myself back into the roulette wheel, hoping I don't land on red OR black. But fuck, man. It is lonely.
And being aro? It's freeing, and validating too, to have a word for it, but I'm not gonna mince words here, I hate it. I wish I could feel romantic love. Like normal, not mentally ill ""love."" I feel platonic love all the time, like for friends (not FP) always. I love saying 'I love you' to friends and meaning it. But I want to feel romantic love. I just don't. I just feel friendship, Favoriting, and/or sexual attraction sometimes. Probably why I'm so into shipping and fanfics. I got a lot more "probably why's" but I don't wanna go down that in this already vulnerable post lol. (I already made a whole post about one of the why's back in like 2013 or 14 lmao, without connecting it to this.)
Anyway, I put this whole mental illness and relationships deal into ugly imagery in a current fic WIP I'm working on, since recognizing I was aro took living through FP'ing a few 'romantic' relationships, before I even first heard the term FP. I only saw my experiences as 'I don't think I've been experiencing love' and that by itself felt like it fit. I didn't realize there was anything wrong, even as I outwardly said shit like 'I don't think I'm fit for being in a relationship' to the few people who asked me out, even when I wanted to say yes.
And then I kept trying to make relationships work lmao. I don't know why I even bothered. I just wanted to be wrong about being aro, especially when it was a point of contention (aro and ace separately) with some of the relationships.
I'd probably have to meet another aro person of the exact same flavour of aromanticism to make it work, but even then the mental illness would just be a ticking time bomb. No one wants to be the recipient of FP 'affection', except maybe sometimes the fictional people in a certain fiction trope that winds up being fetishistic, even if it's not intended to insult real people (but sometimes it is). And it's just a reminder of how I was probably a big source of toxicity for probably half the people who have ever been close with me, if it's even half of how fiction portrays people with this symptom.
I dunno where I wanted to end this vent, so here's probably a good place. Just wanted to get this off my chest, because it just now felt like a pretty big revelation that my problems weren't related to romanticism, I've had purely platonic instances of this dating back to being an older kid, and more during high school, and I just never connected the two before now.
#dont read if u think im cool#id rather stay cool lol#long post#delete later / /#(in case i change my mind or wanna edit)#Cori.exe#Post.exe#man i talk a lot#shouldve spent this time writing fics instead but i rly needed to talk (type) this out since i dont wanna bring it up in therapy again yet#anyway lmao there we go#rly excited for the fic tho. besides the stuff i mentioned i also took this popular trope and#wait#why am i spoiling it im not gonna convince anyone who read this post lol youll just have to wait for the hot platonic smmmmmut#and hilarious storytelling by one char#and then (still a wip) round 2#bc no fic is complete until theres a round 2. imo.#((yes i know i have a different round 2 thats over a month late past when i was gonna post it lol i havent forgotten))#here we go writing an essay in the tags now too lmao#ok i need a break for my eyes and then im gonna try to write the platonic one more#hhhh anxious tht my reputation will tank from posting this. idk how i or my 2 followers will survive th consequent backlash and cancellation#(joke)#(still anxious tho)#(i have diagnosed chronic anxiety lol)#eager to know what id be cancelled from tho. maybe my puppetfuckinglicense gets revoked.#maybe my shrimp get taken into protective custody#shrustody#sorry i dont mean to make light of legit cancellations im just trying to convince myself its okay to post on my own blog#good fucking luck catching all those shrimp tho i dont even know how many i have. they control their own population at this point.#they probably have their own system of... shrovernment#Prime Shrimpister Isosceles rules with an iron swimerette i wouldnt wanna interfere with that sovereign nation
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singledad!Ghost who lives next door with his little boy, he asks you to babysit constantly due to his job and constant busy schedule full of who knows what, he doesn't trust anyone else to know what his kid needs and likes since he grew up around you.
"Thanks again for this y/n, I should be back around 9pm, please try and get him to bed before then," Ghost says frantically as he passes his son over to you along with his diaper bag and favorite blanket.
He had a date scheduled tonight with a lady he met through his best friend, John MacTavish. You nod and wave Simon goodbye, shutting the door with a sigh as you put his son down and watch him run towards the corner you have filled with toys just for him. What the hell were you doing...
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
singledad!Ghost who has to let himself into your house at 10pm because you weren't answering the door. He got back later than expected but still, he expected you to be up. But he freezes at the door, the key still in the lock as he stares at your couch.
The door clicks open as Simon uses the key that was poorly hidden under your doormat. He's told you to change the location countless times but you don't listen, you never do. With a soft sigh he is about to speak but freezes as his eyes land on your couch.
There you laid on your back, an arm falling off the couch and a leg propped up on the back cushion, snoring lightly. That position couldn't have been that comfortable. But that's not what made him freeze. It was how his son was laying on your chest, fast asleep with his favorite blanket draped over his back. You looked as if his son was your own.
Simon has been so dumb..You had been treating his son as your own all this time, and he never saw it. He also never had seen how much he loved how you looked with his son in your arms...
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
singledad!Ghost who drops his son off with his parents for the weekend, coming over to your house with a single rose and a bottle of champagne. It's not a date, he states, more of a friends hanging out without the ruckus of a little boy running around.
"No really, you're such a big help, I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. And he loves you a lot." Simon is more soft spoken than usual as he sits at your kitchen counter, twirling the rose between his fingertips. You're frantically searching your cabinets for those champagne glasses you got all those years ago that you've never used. You swear you still had them.
"It's no biggy. He's a good kid, a joy to have around and probably one of my only friends!" You laugh, sighing after you cant find those dumbass champagne glasses and grabbing two mugs out of the cabinet instead. Not quite what you'd normally drink something like champagne out of, but it would have to work.
"So I'm not considered a friend?" Simon says with a hurt tone, taking the mug with a raised brow and a laugh. He then looks down at the mug to which it read "Male Tears" in black lettering on the front. His shoulders shake in silent laughter.
"Eh, I kinda like your son more than you, he's less broody," You tease, pouring the champagne into each of your mugs. Your mug saying "Reading is Sexy" with blue lettering. You would be lying if you said you didn't have some questionable mug choices.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
a/n: kinda wanna turn this into a fic...should I?
EDIT: FIC HAS BEEN POSTED <33
#simon ghost riley x you#hot dad alert#cod x reader#simon riley#ghost x reader#ghost x female reader#cod mw2#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#DEFINITELY WRITING THIS
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Doctor's In - Part 12
Summary: Wanda deals with the aftermath of your breakup.
A/N: This chapter is focused on Wanda. Big thanks to @a-cat-on-titan for an idea that made it on a part of the fic :)
Aint no mountain high enough
Ain’t no valley low enough
“Ain’t no river wiiideee enoough” Wanda dances around the kitchen, singing.
It’s never quiet around the house. There’s always music, or drilling or hammering. Because she’s taken into making (badly built) furniture. And pottery. And yoga.
To anyone else, it may seem like Wanda’s living her best life.
But Pietro’s not just anyone.
His sister is running away from her feelings, keeping herself busy just so she doesn’t have time to miss you.
“Oh, morning. Want anything for breakfast?”
“I’ll make something later, thank you” he refuses the offer, feeling better and finding his movements to be more confident after another month in physical therapuy. “How did you sleep?”
“Children, we’re late for school!” Wanda ignores him. That’s the one thing she can’t do. Sleep. She’ll rest for a few hours, but as soon as everyone’s asleep, Wanda gets too anxious. Her only solution is to put on a pair of headphones and paint or do pottery or anything else until it’s 3 am and she’s too tired to think.
Or dream.
“Billy, where is your soccer bag? You boys have practice after school!” Wanda says, trying to look for it. Kids, always misplacing everything.
“I don’t wanna go to soccer anymore! I already told you” he protests. Pietro looks up, prepared for another argument.
It’s been happening since you left.
“Sweetheart, you love soccer!”
“No, I don’t! I only liked it because Y/N helped me practice during the weekends and it was fun. I’m not going anymore”
With that, he leaves the house and heads straight to the car, slamming the door. Wanda knows he’ll be crying on the way to school and will refuse to hug her goodbye, the same way he’s done every day for the past month.
“Tommy, grab your stuff” the woman says, trying to pretend everything’s fine.
Unfortunately for her, the twins don’t let her pretend, showing how hurt they are and how much they miss you.
It’s just a phase.
“I have a meeting with Laura, I’ll come back later” she says goodbye to Pietro, hoping the car ride can be a bit better.
“Ok” is all he says, frowning.
There’s only one way to fix this. He just hopes his sister will find a way to forgive him after finding out what he did.
—
Laura is waiting with coffee and some biscuits. She’s always looking at Wanda anxiously, waiting for the moment that everything will finally collapse and she’ll feel all the things she’s avoiding.
So far, nothing.
“Hey! Oh, the boys are being so difficult lately. How did you manage with Cooper?” Wanda always walks in with a monologue ready, which never gives Laura the chance to ask her how she’s doing.
“I don’t know. I mean I don’t think that was a difficult age for him” she grimaces, thinking whether or not to tell Wanda this has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with her breakup.
“Is this the book? Oh my God, it looks amazing!” she changes the topic, knowing where the conversation is headed. As she opens to read the first pages, her smile fades. “Well, we need to get rid of that”
That as in, the dedication. The words that were written for you. Because you helped with the book, with taking care of the kids, with encouraging Wanda.
This was supposed to be a gift for you. Like the first book Wanda ever wrote, and she dedicated to the twins. And so on with every one of her family members.
You were the last piece of the puzzle. And she had hoped that someday she’d dedicate the next one to a baby girl. A daughter that looked just like you.
“Wanda…” Laura says, noticing the cracks in her friend’s perfect facade.
“Anyway! I have to go do some grocery shopping. I’m making coq au vin tonight”
“Do the kids eat that?”
“Sure!”
Of course they don’t. But chicken is too fast and she needs to be distracted and have a lot of dishes to clean and keep her mind occupied.
“Well, this is a first prototype. Once I speak with the publishing company we’ll get a date for the release” Laura says. “Hey, are you sure you’re ok?”
“Never been better” Wanda lies. “See you later, Laura”
Of course, the trip to the grocery store is not enough to calm her, not when there’s a woman wearing scrubs, looking exhausted and trying to figure out which baking powder is better.
“This one’s good if you want to bake cookies” she says, finding it hard to look away. “Sorry, you didn’t ask”
“No, that’s fine. Appreciate it” the woman nods, grabbing the one Wanda suggested and walking to another woman that is also wearing scrubs. They chat as they walk to the register.
Now Wanda regrets talking to them. What if they used to work with you? What if they tell everyone they saw her and she was being a weirdo talking to them first?
Worried about running into someone else, she hurries up with the shopping, and practically sprints to her car.
It takes her a few minutes to calm down. She forgets about the radio, until it begins playing.
One of your songs.
Wanda doesn’t have time to change the station, getting a call. She doesn’t really notice who it’s from, wishing nothing more than to disappear.
“Miss Maximoff? This is Tommy’s teacher”
Ok, that will distract her for sure.
“Is he ok? Are he and Billy…?”
“We’re gonna need you to come to the principal’s office, please”
—
A fight.
His sweet, wonderful boy getting into a fight. Well, that was a lie. And no one was going to mess with Wanda’s children.
“Sweetheart?” she approaches her boy, sitting outside the Principal’s office. His clothes are dirty, and his hair is full of weeds. “Who did this to you?”
“Miss Maximoff” Principal Coleman says, ushering her inside. “Please, sit down. I know this is pretty much new to you. Your kids have good grades, the teachers love them… but I’m sorry to tell you Tommy got into a fight today”
“Oh, but… he is the sweetest kid. I just can’t imagine him hurting anyone”
“Well, according to Daniel, Tommy was the one who started it” the Principal says, leaning back in her chair.
“Ok, why don’t we ask Tommy about it? Hear his side of the story”
“I already did but if you’d like to, be my guest” the woman says, standing up to open the door for Tommy. “Go on, tell your mom what you told me”
“I started the fight” Tommy mutters, looking at his feet. “I’m sorry”
“Are you ok? And Daniel?”
“Daniel only got a scratch on his arm. Look, this is a first time incident and Daniel’s parents were very understanding, so I’ll let you take the kids home and figure this out. But if it happens again…”
“Yes, of course. Thank you, Principal Coleman. And you said, to take both kids?”
“Yeah, Billy’s pretty upset about it” the Principal says, opening the door for them. “He’s at the library waiting for you”
Wanda walks next to her son, her mind racing. This has never happened, there must a logical explanation. She tries to keep her cool, but when she sees Billy sitting at the library, pulling nervously at his hair, she feels like a girl again, lost and confused.
She doesn’t know what to do or how to make things better.
“Billy, let’s go home” she says, waiting for him to walk out. The boy avoids her eyes, rushing past them and running straight to the exit.
“Mom” Tommy says, but she’s too overwhelmed.
“Later, Tommy”
The ride home is silent. Wanda doesn’t even play music, holding on to the wheel until her knuckles turn white.
You’d know what to do to make it better.
But now you’re gone.
She barely has time to park before Billy runs out of the car, opening the door and going upstairs.
“Wanna tell me what happened?” Wanda says, still in the driver’s seat. Tommy looks away, shrugging his shoulders.
“Daniel was mean”
“That’s not an excuse to hit someone, you know better than that, Tommy” she scolds him. “You’re grounded, go to your room. We’ll talk about this later”
He steps out, his head down. Wanda is waiting for him to walk inside the house when she sees a woman with short, gray hair inspecting her garden.
“Hello. Can I help you?” Wanda says, clearly on edge. She’s not in the mood for any more surprises today.
And as the woman turns around, her jaw drops.
“Mom!”
“Hello, dear”
“Grandma!” Tommy runs back to her. “It’s you!”
“Oh, my! Look at you, it’s been forever since I’ve seen you! You’re so tall” the woman says, hugging her grandson. “Where’s your brother? Did you leave school early?”
“Uh… let’s all get inside. Tommy, tell your brother to come back down, please” Wanda interrupts, knowing she’ll get unwanted advice about parenting as soon as her mother knows what happened at school today. “So, how… I mean when…”
“Mama, I hope your flight was good” Pietro walks up to the door, wrapping his mother in a hug.
“You knew she was coming” Wanda says, feeling her blood boiling.
That little Mama’s boy.
“Don’t make a fuss, Wanda” their mother scolds. “I’m just here to help. And I won’t be staying in your house, your neighbor rents a room down the street. Mrs. Davies, you probably know her”
“Yeah, of course I do” she answers, but her mother is already walking inside, inspecting Pietro.
“Now, how’s recovery? You look so thin, bratan. Oh! You got a dog!” the woman exclaims, Sparky running around her.
This is so not how she expected her day to go at all.
—
Wanda’s not allowed in the kitchen while her mother cooks, and she can’t clean either because that was the first thing Ekaterina Maximoff did as soon as she set foot in the house.
The list of things she can do to get distracted is drastically reduced, so she locks herself in her study, pretending to sketch.
But all she can think about is you.
This is exactly why she doesn’t like to have free time. The memories of how you filled every part of the house with laughter and love are just waiting around the corner to remind Wanda how badly she messed up.
She decides to check on the twins, who should be done with their homework around this time.
But only Billy’s in his bed, playing with a Rubik’s cube you gave him.
“Hey” Wanda says, as she opens the door. “Mind if I sit?”
Billy just shrugs his shoulders, eyes focused on the different colors of the puzzle.
“Wanna tell me what happened in school? Did Tommy really start the fight?”
Billy sighs, and then looks up.
“Daniel said some mean things. Like…”
“Like… sweetheart, you can tell me anything, I promise. I just want to understand what happened” Wanda reassures him, squeezing his hand.
“Daniel said he heard his dad talking about you and Y/N. How it wasn’t right that you were with her and that he was happy she was gone. And then… he said maybe now that Y/N wasn’t around I…” Billy covers his eyes, trying to hide the fact he’s crying.
“Come here” Wanda comforts him, her heart breaking. She’s sorry to say this, but she doesn’t blame Tommy for getting into a fight with Daniel, not after he said all those horrible things.
“He said that now that Y/N’s gone I was going to stop being a weirdo”
“My sweet boy, I am so sorry” Wanda says, kissing the top of his head. “What Daniel said is not ok and his father should teach him better. I promise you I will talk to him about it”
“Don’t be mad at Tommy, he was just upset” Billy asks, wiping the tears. “He misses Y/N and so do I”
“It’s ok” Wanda hugs her baby boy, rubbing his back in a soothing motion. She feels Billy relax against her, hugging her like he used to do before you left.
Correction.
Before Wanda kicked you out.
“Do you miss her?” he asks, his voice small. He knows his mother doesn’t want to talk about you. It upsets her too much.
“Of course I do”
“It’s just… it feels like you don’t care, Mama. Like you don’t even remember her at all” Billy says, crying more.
“I know. I’m not the best at this, darling. I guess I just miss her so much it hurts, and I rather not think about it at all. It’s a silly thing grown ups do”
“Do you know if she’s ok?”
“I think so. I hope so”
“Do you think she misses us too?”
“I’m sure she misses you and Tommy and Sparky”
Truth is, Wanda isn’t sure you have any love left for her. Not enough to miss her, at least.
—
The food tastes like home. Like the summers in the country side, or the cold days of winter where Wanda played with Pietro until Mama called them home for a dinner of warm soup and bread.
“Delicious” Pietro comments after the first bite and Wanda nods.
“I can never get the sauce for the Chkmeruli right” Wanda says, trying to figure out the missing ingredient. “Your is so much better, just like grandma’s”
“I’ll teach you how to get it right” Ekaterina promises. “The secret is in the amount of ingredients. And something that we’re not telling anyone else”
“Alright” Wanda nods.
“Now, boys. Tell me all about school. And your hobbies. Do you play videogames?”
Wanda watches her family interact, laughing at certain things, and looking at her mother with fascination.
There’s a certain guilt that takes over when she understands she wasted three years of her life for something that could have been solved with an honest conversation.
One day, her mother will be gone and she’ll regret not having spent more time with her.
There’s also another regret in the back of her mind.
She wishes you had met her mother.
“Excuse me for a moment” she says, standing up from the table and walking to the bathroom. She covers her mouth to stop from sobbing, but there are tears in her eyes and a weight in her stomach that doesn’t let her sleep or eat or live.
Wanda fucked up so badly and now she’ll never see you again.
“Oh, God” she says, trying to breath, and fix her makeup. She can’t let the boys see her like this.
It’s been an overwhelming day, that’s all.
I’m fine.
“Is everyone done? I’m cleaning the kitchen” she says as soon as she comes back, picking up the plates and rushing past her family.
The cleaning keeps her hands busy and mind at ease, but she's still humming a song, just to focus on something that isn’t those awful thoughts she just had.
“I’m sorry” Pietro says, walking with the help of his cane. “I know it feels like an ambush, and I know you don’t wanna talk about it, but you’re not ok. The kids are always fighting with you, you do everything but talk about what happened and Y/N’s stuff are still in the garage. Maybe… fixing things with Mama can give you some perspective. I don’t know. I’m a burden most of the time, without being able to walk or do more around here. I just wanted to help”
Wanda keeps cleaning, never turning around to ackowledge her brother. He sighs, scratching the back of his head and turning to leave the kitchen.
“You’ll never be a burden, Pietro” is all Wanda says, finally turning to look at him. He smiles.
“Try to get some rest”
“You too”
“Oh, and Daniel definitely deserved to get his ass kicked”
“I agree” Wanda laughs. “Don’t tell the kids, though”
Pietro makes a motion, as if sealing his lips.
Their mom walks to hug him, saying goodbye for the day.
“You can sleep in my room, I can take the couch” Wanda offers.
“None of that. Mrs. Davies is excited over her very first guest and I won’t be the one to disappoint that sweet woman. Get some rest. Tomorrow I’m making borsch”
“You don’t have to cook, I can handle it”
“Of course I have to. Your brother needs to gain some weight!” the woman says, kissing her daughter in both cheeks. She says something in Sokovian about her children eating all that American food, walking out to Mrs. Davies house.
Wanda’s done with cleaning, and she goes upstairs to say goodnight to the kids.
“Hey. You’re not grounded. Ok?” Wanda says when Billy falls asleep, looking at Tommy. “Thank you for looking after your brother”
“I am older by ten minutes” he says, like Pietro always does. Wanda smiles, kissing his forehead.
“Sleep well, sweet boy”
And as she walks to her room, that feels so empty ever since that night one month ago, Wanda’s not sure how long she can handle pretending that one day, your abscence won’t hurt as much.
—
She could fix this.
You always fixed things.
Wanda had gotten the message. You disappeared, no calls or texts, not even to let her know where you were staying.
And when she tried to reach out, you never answered.
But now she was worried and scared, and most of all, sorry for the things she had said to you.
Wanda needed to apologize, to tell you how much she loved you.
But even if that was the only thing on her mind, she was standing outside the hospital, trying to gather the courage to come in.
“Wanda” a voice said behind her. Although it was familiar, Wanda was disappointed when she turned around and saw Carol Danvers.
“Hey… I was just… I was looking for Y/N”
“Oh. Uh… you haven’t heard?” Carol stumbled with her words, caught completely off guard.
“Heard what? Is Y/N ok?” Wanda’s heart began to race… maybe you were injured and it was exactly why you hadn’t replied to any of her messages, or answered the phone when she called.
“Yeah, uh… oh, crap” Carol looked over Wanda’s shoulder. “If I were you I’d run back to my car”
“What?” Wanda turned around, her eyes meeting Darcy’s.
“You!” the brunette barked, walking faster. “You’re about to find out why I got banned from lacrosse in college, Maximoff”
“Let’s calm down” Carol asked, stepping between the two of them.
“No! I will not calm down. I hope you’re proud of yourself, Wanda. You told Y/N everything she’s always been afraid of hearing. That you can’t trust her or the 'we’ll be better without you', fucking fantastic, really!”
“Darcy, come on, we should get back inside” Carol said, pleading with Maria to help her. But Darcy was not done.
“All this bullshit of making her move in with you and be a family for what? To kick her out just because you had a shitty day? Because she was saving a life?”
“I just… I know I screwed up, but if I could just talk to her…”
“Well, for that you’d have to get on a plane to Boston. Because Y/N quit” Darcy said, amused at Wanda’s shocked expression. “Yeah, my best friend left without a second thought because of you. Way to screw over everyone, Wanda”
“I didn’t want this to happen”
“That’s not good enough, unfortunately. You got lucky, because Danver’s here. But I’m being serious, if I see you again I’m gonna make an even bigger scene”
Maria went after Darcy, who was clearly pissed off, leaving Carol and Wanda outside of the hospital.
“Do you know if she’s ok?” Wanda asked, looking down.
“She doesn’t answer anyone’s calls or texts, Wanda. All I know is she quit one week ago and got on a plane to Boston”
“Right… Well, I better go” she said, biting her lip. “Thanks for keeping Darcy from killing me”
“Yeah, we’re understaffed with Y/N gone. So I can’t really let Darcy get arrested” Carol joked, though it was also one way of reminding Wanda her actions had impacted a whole group of people outside of her.
“See you” Wanda nodded, walking fast to her car. Chief Fury almost clashed against her, as Wanda was looking anywhere but the path in front of her.
“I’m sorry”
“Bet you are” the man grumbled, walking to the hospital.
Even another man in a motorcycle couldn’t keep from staring at Wanda, his blue eyes cold as ice.
So, Wanda got on her car, and left without lookig back.
She lost you. Forever.
—-
“Morning” a very upbeat voice speaks as Ekaterina walks down the stairs.
“Morning, Mrs. Davies” she says, smiling.
“Oh, please, call me Sharon. Would you like some coffee?”
“I’ll take some tea”
“Of course. Very healthy!” the woman says, getting everything ready. Ekaterina takes a moment to look around, admiring all the plants in the room and the flower wallpaper.
“Are you a gardener?”
“Only for fun” Sharon says, putting some biscuits in a plate. “Can I just say, I love your accent?”
Ekaterina smiles, but keeps from answering that. Though people were nice about it, she knew others had always been critical of her for not learning “proper” English when her family moved to America.
Which is why she was happy to return to Sokovia when things settled. The US was never her home, even if it was for her children.
“Was the family happy to see you?”
“Oh, yes. Especially my daughter” Ekaterina jokes, though it flies over Sharon’s head. Of course she doesn’t know that they have a complicated relationship. “I do hope she has been a good neighbor to you. I raised her to be kind”
“Oh, she’s great. Always baking stuff for everyone, the kids are very polite and well behaved too. She’s a great girl, just as Y/N. They were good together. I hope Y/N is doing ok” Sharon says, pouring every single detail that Ekaterina wanted to know.
Well, seems like it’s gonna be easier than she thought.
“Yes, this Y/N girl. Can you tell me more about her?” she says in a casual tone, and Sharon is happy to talk about you.
“Well, she moved to the neighborhood like two years ago. She’s a surgeon, always working. Honestly, very quiet but very nice. One time I fell in the sidewalk and she slept in the couch just to make sure someone was around in case I needed something”
Very impressive. It was the kind of thing that would make Ekaterina approve of anyone dating her children.
“And she was with Wanda?”
“Well… I’m not sure I should talk about this” Sharon hesitates for the first time.
“I’m just curious, as a mother…”
Ah, the mother card.
It works so well.
“Of course, you’re right! It’s not like I’ll tell you things you can’t figure out on your own” Sharon laughs, thinking of everything she remembers. “Well, Y/N lived across the street from Wanda, which is probably how they started talking. You know, young people understand each other better than us”
“So they were together?”
“Yes, I think Agatha saw them almost a year ago… on a date or something. And then, it was kinda nice to see Y/N around a bit more. Ya know, it was obvious she was spending more time at home, to help with the boys. They adore her. Always running around with her, playing. It was nice to see them all be a family” Sharon’s enthusiasm dies down.
“And then?”
“Humm” she says, sighing. “I honestly don’t know. The last time I saw Y/N she was walking out of the house and she got into her car. She didn’t have any bags or anything, so I just assumed she was going to the hospital… but then she never came back”
“And you have no idea what happened?” Ekaterina pushes forward, curious to check if the woman’s being honest.
“No, I’m sorry”
“Mudak”
“Oh, can I ask what that word means?” Sharon says, smiling. She loves learning new words.
“It means motherfucker” Ekaterina answers, her accent heavy.
“Wow, ok” Sharon giggles nervously. “You know who could have that information? Agatha. Yeah, her girlfriend works at the hospital. She’s kinda scary”
“Agatha or her girlfriend?”
“Both, definitely both”
“How can I speak to them?” Ekaterina says, trying to piece everything together.
She can manage scary. Especially when she’s looking for answers.
—
Billy’s in a mood again. He didn’t want to go to school, and he’s still refusing to go to soccer practice.
“Daniel’s gonna keep annoying me” he mutters.
“I will speak with his father today” Wanda says, driving them both to school. “I’m sure it’s gonna be fine, sweetheart”
“Y/N would kick his ass” Billy says in a low voice, but Wanda still hears.
“Don’t speak like that. And violence is not the answer”
“Yeah, well, Daniel’s a jerk, his dad too and I want to talk to Y/N. She’s the only one that can make everything right again”
“Enough!” Wanda shouts, pulling up to drop them off. “Y/N’s not coming back. You hear me? She’s gone. We don’t need her, we’ve been fine on our own our whole lives”
“You’re lying. I hate you” he says, running out of the car.
Wanda’s speechless.
This is the first time she’s had a fight with her sweet boys. The first time they’ve been mean or said something to hurt her.
She was expecting this as they got old, maybe 13. But now?
“Bye, Mom” Tommy says, walking after his brother. He’s nervous too. He knows he can’t get into any more trouble or he might get suspended, but Daniel’s not the nicest kid.
“Oh, damn it” she looks behind her to notice Billy left his lunch. “Kids!”
“Hey, Wanda” Richard calls for her. “Heard our guys had a little fight. I was hoping we could talk about it. Maybe over dinner?”
She resists the urge to roll her eyes. Is he really flirting right now?
“Yeah, I should actually…”
“No need to apologize, boys will be boys, right?”
“Apologize?” Wanda tilts her head, the way she always does when she’s pissed. “I wasn’t planning on doing that. And neither is Tommy”
“Well, he started the fight”
“No, Daniel was repeating the stupid things you say. Like how it’s wrong for two women to date. And he also insulted Billy” Wanda says, crossing her arms. “The way I see it, it’s the proverbial talk shit, get hit”
“Wow, ok, no need to get emotional”
“No, I’m not emotional. I’m just saying, if you ever say anything bad about Y/N or my kids and I get wind of it, I’m running you over with my car. See ya, Dick”
Fucking asshole.
Wanda can practically hear you say those words. Though you’d be a lot scarier, telling him all the ways in which he could get hurt using medical terms he wouldn’t even begin to understand.
You’d never let anything bad happen to your family.
Wanda decides to play the loudest music on the way back home. Yes, death metal from her emo phase -something you’d tease her for relentlessly before-.
As she pulls over in the driveway, her mother knocks on the window, making Wanda jump.
“Why are you still listening to that devil music? I thought that phase was over!”
“Mom!”
“Are you ok?”
“Fine”
“Yeah, I can tell”
“Ok, I don’t have time for this, I need to drive Pietro to rehab. Do you need anything from the store?”
“Yes, many things! Like actual paprikash. I can’t believe you buy US made. That’s why you can’t get the food right”
“Seriously?”
“Settle down, you two” Pietro asks, coming out of the house. It was a fun time, being a teenager and hearing his sister and mother argue over every single thing. They’re too much alike, that’s the only problem.
“Anyways, I will go to store, Sharon is letting me drive her car”
“Ok, does she know about the time you almost destroyed a McDonald’s with Papa’s car?”
“He said drive through, so I did!”
“Yeah, through the wall” Pietro laughs, earning a slap on the back of the head from his mother.
“You, go to your thing. And I’m picking up Billy from school today. He doesn’t want to go do soccer, so we’re going to get ice cream” Ekaterina says casually.
“It’s not optional for him! I’m the mom here”
“Just for a day. I hardly think it will affect him if he doesn’t run around like dog after a ball. Take Sparky instead” the woman says.
Wanda wants to scream into a pillow.
—
Ekaterina comes back from the store, but instead of parking outside of Wanda’s, she leaves the car right outside of Agatha’s home.
The investigation continues.
After a knock, a woman with dark, long hair and piercing blue eyes opens the door.
“You the OG Mrs. Maximoff” she greets, standing aside to let her in.
“I don’t know what those words mean. I’m Wanda and Pietro’s mother”
“Ooh, I love the accent. I love learning languages. My girlfriend is teaching me Spanish”
Before Ekaterina can answer, there’s a frantic knock, and Sharon walks inside the minute Agatha opens the door.
“I hope I’m not too late”
“I didn’t know we were having a party” Agatha says. She doesn’t really like visitors, and Mrs. Davies' enthusiasm and corny jokes are an acquired taste.
“Alright. What do you want to know?” Agatha leans back in her chair, intrigued by the woman.
Why not just ask her own daughter? Though, considering how Wanda’s been acting, she’ll probably refuse to answer any questions about it.
“Why did Y/N leave? Where did she go?”
“Ok, so… I need a minute because Rio was telling me everything in Spanish so I could learn. You know, using gossip as motivation” Agatha massages her temples, trying to remember everything. “Ok, there was a new doctor, something, something, cheating, slapping, break up”
“What?” Ekaterina says. “Are you saying that woman slapped my daughter?”
“No! Well, I don’t think so. Ah, screw it! Amor!” Agatha shouts, calling for Rio. “Ponte ropa y baja a contarles el chisme”
“Está bien” a voice says. A few minutes later, another woman joins them in the living room, wearing shorts and a t-shirt.
“You called?”
“Ok, so I kinda lied when I said I understood everything you said in Spanish. I do remember the name Natasha. And something about a kiss” Agatha smiles, and Rio can’t really stay mad when her girlfriend is looking all cute.
“So, a few months ago, Natasha Romanoff came to the hospital to teach a method developed by her mother. The Romanoffs are a very wealthy, very famous family of doctors. And everyone in the hospital kinda noticed that Natasha was flirting with Y/N”
“Did Y/N flirt back? Was she cheating on my daughter?”
“I meaaan, 50/50. The hospital was split. Some people believed that she was just being nice and others thought there were feelings involved”
“What do you think?” Ekaterina presses.
“I think Y/N was just being flirty but she never meant for anything else to happen. She’s just naturally personable. Even she can manage to make me laugh from time to time. So, I don’t know. There was a rumor that Natasha kissed her once or was trying to talk her into breaking up with Wanda… which, I guess has some truth to it, considering Y/N moved to Boston to work for the Romanoffs”
“I’m sorry, then who slapped who?” Mrs. Davies asks, confused.
“Oh, Y/N’s mother outside the hospital, but that's not related to Wanda. Darcy told me that woman is awful. Used to put Y/N through hell when she was a kid”
“Yeah, I know the feeling” Agatha mumbles and Rio places her hand on her shoulder, comforting her.
“I don’t like this Y/N” Ekaterina decides. “She was weak and got my family hurt”
“I don’t think that’s exactly accurate…” Agatha says, feeling the need to defend you. She knows you, and you’d never do anything to hurt Wanda. Not on purpose. “Look, I was looking for my bunny that night. Little shit likes to escape out of the blue. Wanda was the one who ended things. I heard that loud and clear. And yes, it seems messy, but I don’t think it’s fair to blame it all on someone”
“Yeah, Y/N really loved the kids and took care of Wanda” Sharon insists. Ekaterina sighs, crossing her arms.
“I don’t suppose anyone knows how to get in touch with Y/N”
Agatha, Rio and Sharon share a look.
“I could try” Rio offers, thinking Darcy might be in touch with you.
“Thank you. Now I go to pick up Billy from school. I appreciate your help”
“I actually need the car for a bit” Sharon asks, but the woman is already gone. “Oh, well”
—
True to her word, Ekaterina picked up Billy from school, while Tommy was supposed to ride with Sharon and her kid to soccer.
Wanda wasn’t really looking forward to practice today, in case Richard was there.
Thankfully, it seemed like Daniel was here with his mother, but Wanda’s stomach dropped when Susan walked up to her.
“Wanda, can we talk for a sec?”
“Yeah, sure”
They walked away from the rest of the parents.
“Look, I know what Daniel said and I already talked to him about it. He’ll apologize to Tommy and Billy, but I wanted to tell you personally how asahmed I am. Those awful things are all Richard and I really don’t want Daniel to be like his father”
“Oh… wow. I don’t know what to say” Wanda laughs, relieved. “Your ex had a very different approach to this whole situation”
“I know, he’s an asshole”
Both women laugh at that.
“I was going to say, he can speak to Tommy after practice, but I haven’t seen him today. Or Billy”
“Oh, Billy’s with my mother. But Sharon picked up Tommy…” though when Wanda looks around the field, she doesn’t see her son. Spotting Sharon, she runs up to her. “Hey, Tommy rode with you, right?”
“What? Wanda, he said he was feeling ill and that you were going to pick him up”
“No, that never… I-I don’t have any missed calls. No one from school told me anything. Shit!” she curses, her hands shaking. Her mother takes forever to pick up the phone. “Is Tommy with you? No, I know Billy’s there. What about Tommy? Ok, I don’t have time to explain, meet me at home now”
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think to call you” Sharon says.
“No, no. It’s fine. I’m sure it’s fine” Wanda repeats, trying to calm herself.
Her first instinct is to call you.
But then she has to think really hard on what to do, so she calls Pietro to make sure Tommy isn’t home by some weird miracle. Should she call the cops? The fire department?
Clint, he will know what to do.
“Ok, I’ll meet you at your house, it’s gonna be fine” Clint says.
“You good to drive?” Susan says, walking Wanda to the car.
“Yes. I’m sure it’s all a misunderstanding and Tommy’s in his room playing videogames”
“Well, ok, if you need anything here’s my number” the woman says.
Wanda goes over everything that could have happened. Tommy likes to visit the library, the park on Fullton street, the comic book store…
Clint’s already there when she gets home, and Ekaterina parks a second later.
“Billy, come here” Wanda kneels to look at her son. “Did Tommy tell you anything? Was he going somewhere?”
Billy shakes his head no, and Wanda insists.
“Sweetheart, are you sure? I promise I won’t be mad”
“I don’t know, I swear”
“Alright, I just spoke to my friend at the station. They’re gonna start looking for him. Pietro should stay here in case Tommy comes back or someone calls home. The rest of us could split and check places we know he frequents” Clint says.
“Billy, stay with uncle Pietro” Wanda asks. The boy nods, walking up the stairs to meet his uncle, who puts his arm around his shoulders.
“I’ll go to the arcade” Clint offers. “Ask if anyone’s seen him”
“We’ll go to the park” Wanda nods, waiting for her mother to join her in the car. She can’t even begin to understand what’s happening.
Wanda doesn’t know what to do, but she has to remain calm, because her son needs her.
—
Tommy’s begining to think this is a bad idea. He doesn’t have a lot of money and he doesn’t have a clue on what bus will take him to Boston.
He should be at soccer practice now.
He finds a cafeteria not far from school, and goes inside hoping he can get some free water.
“You alone, sweetheart?” the waitress says, concerned.
“No, my mom is in the bathroom” he lies and the woman doesn’t seem entirely convinced. Either way, she leaves him alone. Tommy takes the time to dig in his backpack for some extra coins that might be in there.
Instead he finds a letter and a couple of pins.
After reading it, he walks up to the waitress and finally tells the truth.
“I ran away. Can you help me find my mom?”
“Of course, sweetheart”
—-
“Where should we go?” her mother asks, and Wanda points in the direction of the lake.
“He liked to feed the ducks with Y/N”
“Ok, then”
They walk in silence, Wanda’s thoughts racing until her mother speaks.
“I lost you once. You were four or five, maybe, and we were at the market. While your brother picked out the apples, you decided to run after a chicken. And I was so scared, calling for you in the sea of people”
“Yeah. It’s an awful feeling” Wanda says, wiping away the tears.
They walk around the park for ten minutes before deciding he’s not here. Tommy’s nowhere to be found. He’s a ten year old, for God’s sake, where on Earth could he be?
Before she has time to think it twice, Wanda picks up the phone and dials your number.
“Hello?”
That’s not your voice.
It’s Natasha’s.
Wanda hangs up, and adds this to the list of shitty things that have happened to her in the span of two days.
“Mom, I can’t!” she finally breaks down. “I don’t know how to fix this. I miss her so much and I ruined everything and she’s never coming back. And now my boys hate me and I have nothing. All because I was so stuck in the past. And I lost her”
“Breathe. Breathe for me” Ekaterina pulls her daughter into a hug, while Wanda’s body shakes with the strenght of her sobs. “It’s ok. It will be ok”
“It doesn’t feel like it”
“Trust me” she says, waiting until Wanda calms down. After a few minutes, she wipes her tears and looks at her mother. Wanda’s about to say something else when her phone rings again.
“Oh, it’s Clint. Hello? Yes, where? Ok, send me the address and I’ll be right there” she hangs up, sprinting to the car. “He’s at a cafeteria not far from school”
“Thank God”
It’s only a five minute drive but to Wanda it feels like an eternity. As soon as she parks, she spots Tommy sitting at the counter, drinking a milkshake while a waitress talks to him, trying to ease his nerves.
“Is that your mom?” the woman says when Wanda gets inside. Tommy’s eyes widen, and he runs towards her.
“Mama!”
“Oh, Tommy. I was so worried about you”
“I’m sorry”
“It’s ok. I’m just happy you’re safe. Let’s go home”
—
The kids are safely tucked in bed, and Wanda’s having a glass of wine in the kitchen. She’d drink something stronger if she had anything at all.
Her mind goes back to the fact Natasha picked up your phone.
It doesn’t mean you’re with her. And even if you were, Wanda was the one that broke up with you.
Then why did it hurt so much to think you’d already moved on?
With a sigh, she goes up the stairs. Wanda can’t help but go into her children’s room, just to make sure they’re both safe.
When she asked Tommy what happened, he just said he wanted to go and see you. But then he changed his mind when he found something in his backpack. Though he wouldn’t tell Wanda what it was.
As the woman walks up to her children, she notices a letter tucked under Tommy’s pillow.
Could this be the thing he found?
Billy and Tommy,
Hey kiddos. This isn’t something I’m happy about and I never really wanted to write a letter like this one.
You might not see me anymore. I know it sucks, because I promised I’d take you to the state fair and Universal Studios when the school year was over.
The thing is, sometimes grown ups have a lot of complicated things going on. Sometimes things don’t work out no matter how much we try.
Be good to your mom, ok? If you miss me and want me to be less worried about you, just promise me you’ll love her extra for me. You are her biggest treasure and she’s such a great mom. Don’t forget you’re all each other have.
PS - I’m leaving my lucky pins with you. Please take care of them for me.
Love you three,
Y/N
Of course.
Of course it was you.
Even if you were thousand of miles away, you had found a way to help Wanda and keep her family safe.
Now she won’t be able to sleep at all, so she goes downstairs to the garage, full of boxes with your clothes and books.
For the first time since you left, Wanda allows herself to look at everything you left behind, and everything you did. The smallest things, like how you always forget to wear glasses to read, and you end up with a frown. Sunday’s crossword puzzle, always discarded. It’s not that you don’t finish it, the opposite. You know the answers to everything so fast that writing them is a waste of time.
Wanda pulls out your college sweatshirt, hugging it tight against her chest.
She misses you, so much it hurts.
As she puts on the sweatshirt, Wanda folds the sleeves, slightly long for her shorter arms.
When she’s about to close the box, she sees it.
A small box. For a ring.
An engagement ring.
She let’s out a gasp as she opens it.
You were proposing.
And all Wanda did was question your committment and your love for her and the children.
I’m such an idiot.
She doesn’t have much time to wallow, though. Wanda’s phone rings, and her mouth goes dry when she reads the name on the screen.
You.
Looking between her phone and the ring, Wanda doesn’t know what to do.
Should she tell you she found the ring?
Would it make a difference at all?
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MILE HIGH
Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader
! smut warning!
a/n: i just wanna say thank u all so much for the love on my last hotch fic i’m absolutely blown away!! hope you enjoy this just as much <3
tags: p in v, unprotected sex, praise, public place
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For once, you found yourself alone with the one person you wished to be with. Yourself and Aaron happened to be making your way over a little later than the rest of the team and you had to admit, as dearly as you loved them, it was nice to have some quiet on the jet. It was an entirely different atmosphere. Especially being confined with your boss - and boyfriend - not that anyone was aware of that aspect.
“Thanks, Garcia.” Hotch spoke firmly into his mobile, soon sliding it back into the pocket of his suit-pants.
He cleared his throat, eyes flickering back over the table and honing in on you. Focusing really shouldn’t have been so difficult, but it was, and you had no doubt his mind was whirring with the exact same image as yours.
You ran your eyes over him, unable to pull your gaze elsewhere despite your efforts.
“Don’t look at me like that.” Aaron exhaled, eyes narrowing ever so slightly.
You hadn’t realised you were looking at him any particular way, if anything you were simply.. admiring.
“Like what?”
Once more, he let out a deep exhale, peering back at you for a few quiet moments before he parted his lips to respond, “We’re at work, honey.”
The nickname had you clenching your thighs beneath the table, pressed tight and desperate for friction.
“At work, by ourselves.” You chirped back at an instant, eyes wandering over the empty jet as it whirred.
His jaw visibly tightened, ticking ever so slightly as he drank in your words. You could read him well, though not quite perfectly, but you were certain his mind was fogged with the very same conflict as yours, “And we’re on a plane.”
You offered a gentle shrug, “I don’t care.”
His jaw ticked once more, eyes narrowing for a split second as he gazed at you over the table before slipping a deep exhale.
“Fuck it, neither do I.” He breathed, “Come here.”
You didn’t hesitate for a mere second, finding yourself stood before him almost instantly as his hands reached for your hips, pulling you down onto his lap. Your body was snug between Aaron’s torso and the table, chests pressing against eachother.
Suddenly, his lips captured your own in a warm, hungry embrace. His hands squeezed at your backside possessively, running quickly down the back of your pencil skirt as you writhed breathlessly on his lap.
A low, hoarse groan seeped from Hotch’s mouth and into your own as he felt you buck atop his lap, the stiffness in his trousers taunting you through your skirt.
Eager to feel the heat of your skin against his own, he pushed the material up your thighs, sliding it slowly over your ass as his fingers trailed down the lace of your underwear.
“So pretty.” He mused quietly, mumbling against your lips as he brought his mouth down your neck, the warmth of his breath tickling your skin. Aaron’s hand wedged tightly between the parting of your thighs, sliding his fingertips against the fabric of your sodden panties, “You’re soaking.”
Your breathing grew heavy as his words brushed under your ear, heat brewing further and further between your legs as he moved his digits so tauntingly against you.
“That needy for me, hm?” A low, amused chuckle seeped from Aaron’s lips as his open mouth pressed hungrily to your lower-neck.
Unable to deny, you returned with a soft nod, feeling his fingertips creep under the band of your underwear. He hooked the gentle fabric on his finger, gliding it down your thighs with ease.
“My poor girl.” He cooed, lips painted with a satisfied smirk, switching the focus of his touch to the zipper of his pants. He wasted zero time in tugging at the metal latch to reveal the growing stiffness in his boxers, “Think this’ll help you focus, honey?”
With a gentle exhale, your gaze fell to Hotch’s length as he freed himself from his underwear. “Yes.”
Purposefully slowly, he traced the head of his cock with the pad of his thumb, your eyes glued to the sight with no intention of breaking.
“Lift your hips.” He commanded, voice stern as always, though laced with an underlying tenderness. One palm surrounded his shaft loosely, providing that extra sense of friction while he guided your hips with the opposing hand.
Immediately, you complied, raising your hips upward a little as you anticipated what was to follow. He trailed his thumb back and forth over your exposed hips, sure to taunt with his touch. Adjusting himself between your thighs, Aaron pressed his tip to your sopping cunt, eyes flitting back up to meet yours.
With a strained moan, you sank your body down onto his own, drawing a rather hoarse groan from his mouth as your warmth surrounded his cock.
“Fuck..” You murmured, teeth sinking into your bottom lip with nothing but ecstasy, revealing in the way he filled you so flawlessly.
You clutched at his shoulders firmly as his length reached deep within your cunt, digging your fingertips against his suit jacket.
“I know, sweetheart.” Hotch soothed, suddenly bucking his hips up against your own, both hands gripping possessively at your backside, “So deep, huh?”
He punctuated the words with a rough curse beneath his breath, bucking up against you once again. His grip grew tighter on your skin as he began to pull you down on his cock in time with his thrusts.
“Shit, honey, there you go. Just like that.” He praised, sliding a single hand toward your neck, cradling it against the heat of his skin.
Aaron buried his flushed face into the crook of your neck, sucking hungrily at the skin as it darkened between his lips.
“Fuck, Aaron..” The words fell amidst a heavy breath, practically whining as he thrust up inside you, your bodies smacking together with each hit.
Both large, callous hands slid to the small of your back, lifting you suddenly and placing you atop the table you’d been tightly pressed against. You let out a soft, breathy whimper as he planted you down, his cock still buried deep inside your cunt as he stood before you, pulling his hips back slowly and landing a particularly deep thrust inside you once more.
Abruptly, he took ahold of your face in his hand, tilting your chin to meet his eyeline.
“Eyes on me, honey.” Aaron groaned, voice gravelly as his hips smacked against you, “Show me that pretty face when I’m inside you.”
His words sent a swarm of butterflies straight to your stomach, skin flushed with an overflowing sense of heat as he filled you repeatedly, hips striking back and forth in a manner that had your thighs beginning to tremble.
“That’s my good girl.” He affirmed, pumping his cock in and out of your warm, drenched pussy. As before, his lips ghosted by your neck, mouth lingering beside your ear, “Take me so well.”
“Fuck- Yes!” You moaned, wishing you had the ability to keep yourself even the slightest bit quieter, “More..”
Aaron chuckled in response to your broken plea, cocking a single, tame brow as his eyes gazed down at your taunted expression, “You want it harder? Faster?”
You nodded simply, eyelids fluttering together for a few short moments, struggling to keep your eyes from drifting back. The wooden table began to rattle beneath your thighs as he picked up his pace, gripping tightly at your skin as he moved against you.
You clenched desperately, composure faltering as you squeezed at him, nearing a release.
All of a sudden, he leant your body back entirely, laying you back atop the sleek wood. A small gasp escaped your throat as he guided you, never once relenting in his pace.
With one hand alone, Hotch seized both of your wrists, planting them firmly above your head as he squeezed rather possessively. His length struck deep as he leant down over you, mouth lingering right beside yours.
“Keep your hands there.” He uttered against your lips before sealing the command with a long, tender kiss.
You nodded beneath his body, feeling a release begin to approach inside you.
“Shit, Aaron, I’m close-“ You whispered, chest heaving helplessly beneath the fastenings of your blouse.
“I know, honey, I know.” He practically groaned against your skin, a hot fog of breath stroking your flushed skin as he gave your wrists a small squeeze.
You clenched around him as his tip struck your g-spot in flawless repetition, the coil in your stomach winding tighter and tighter with each passing moment. Suddenly, it snapped entirely, and your release overcame your body.
Hotch slipped a low, broken groan as you squeezed him between the warmth of your thighs, “Fuck,” His eyelids squeezed shut for a moment as the table shook ever so slightly beneath the rocking of his hips, “Make a mess on my cock sweetheart, there you go.”
His encouragement was all you needed, the sound of his voice fuelling your arousal as he fucked you through your orgasm, mumbling inaudibly under your breath.
His cock began to twitch between your walls, nearing his own release as he slid out of you with a gruff sound, offering his length another few pumps in his fist as you observed with heavy breathing.
“Fuck.” He repeated to himself as he came undone, coating your exposed thighs with his release, struggling to regain his breath as he groaned.
After a moment a satisfied smile cracked over his lips, and he seized you by the waist, hauling your weakened body close to his, pressing his lips to yours once more - though far softer this time, “You’re going to be the death of me, honey.”
Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed! Your support means the world to me! I’m working through a lot of requests so thank you for your patience if you’ve sent one in <3
#smut#smutty#drabbles#oneshot#criminal minds#criminal minds smut#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x you#hotchner x reader#hotch smut#hotch#hotchner#aaron hotchner smut#hotchner smut#aaron hotchner x reader#hotchner x you#hotch x you#hotch x reader
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Blessed mistakes | part 2 (reworked)
part 1 part 3 there aren't much changes just a few subtle ones
Azriel x reader
A/N- Literally thank you so much to my wifey @anarchiii for being there for me and proof reading this story when it was just a stupid little drabble, if you all want some soft but well written fics she has some amazing ones especially her gwynriel fic,(ps: shes already taken and so are her cats too so dont even try anything else >:<) also i might be going off summary a bit but its fine,let me know if you wanna be tagged :)
Summary- After over 5 centuries of waiting Azriel hasn't found his mate, given up all hope of any chance of finding her he decides to start pursuing Elain, not seeing what was in front of him all along.
Part Two: Fading Echoes
(*A few years after y/n had left, timeline during Amaranthas reign*)
The years had a quiet way of passing, like a river flowing slowly under the weight of the stars. Azriel couldn’t remember the moment when the ache of her absence had begun, nor could he pinpoint when it had deepened into something permanent, something that hummed just beneath his skin. Fifty years. They had come and gone, one after the other, a steady stream of days filled with work, with battles, with the constant motion of life that had never quite let him stop. And yet, the absence of her—her—never left. It lingered, as if it had always been there.
Y/N had left without a word, without a trace, slipping quietly from his life as though she had never belonged there. He had never asked her why. Maybe he thought the answer was too simple, or perhaps he didn’t want to hear it. And so, he had never asked.
He thought of her that night—the night she told him she was leaving—as he often did, though the memory felt like a soft echo, fading at the edges. It had been a simple conversation, nothing remarkable at first. They had been in the garden, the air cool and still around them, the moon casting its pale light over the courtyard. Azriel had been lost in his thoughts, as he so often was, his mind drifting from one responsibility to the next.
She had been quiet, more than usual, and when he had finally turned to her, he saw it in her eyes—the tiredness, the distant look that hadn’t been there before. It was the look of someone who had been carrying something heavy for too long.
“I think I need to go,” she had said, her voice soft, almost like a whisper. “There’s a mission in the Autumn Court... It’s time for me to leave for a while.”
He had nodded, of course. She had always been so independent, so steady. He didn’t think much of it, didn’t realize the weight of her words, the finality in them.
"Of course," he had said, offering a smile, thinking it was just another one of her short trips—another mission, another step away from Velaris that would bring her back once more.
But she hadn’t come back.
The days stretched on without her, and slowly, the absence began to settle over him like a thick fog. He kept himself busy, as he always did, throwing himself into his duties, his work, anything to keep his mind from wandering to her. But she was never far. She lingered in the corners of his thoughts, in the spaces between meetings, in the quiet moments before sleep would claim him.
And then there was the silence. The silence of not knowing. Not knowing where she had gone, why she had left so suddenly, why she hadn’t come back. At first, Azriel had told himself it was nothing—just a mission, just time apart. But as the weeks turned into months, and the months into years, he couldn’t help but feel the weight of her absence pressing on him.
He had searched, of course. He had gone to the Autumn Court, asking quietly, desperately, if anyone had seen her. He had questioned every contact he had, asked around the realms, sent word through every possible channel. But no one had known. No one had seen her.
She had simply... disappeared.
It wasn’t until years later, when the weight of her absence had begun to feel like a constant ache in his chest, that Azriel had realized the truth. The truth that had always been there, hidden beneath the surface of everything he had felt for her. She hadn’t just left because of a mission. No. She had left because of him.
He hadn’t seen it then. He hadn’t understood. But looking back now, with the distance of time and the space of so many years between them, the truth became clear. Y/N had loved him. Loved him in a way that he had never allowed himself to see. She had loved him in the quiet moments, in the way she had looked at him when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. But Azriel hadn’t noticed. He had been too wrapped up in his own world, in his own pain, his own battles, to ever see it.
To him, she had always been like a sister—steadfast, loyal, someone who understood him without needing words. She had always been there, always by his side, always offering him the quiet comfort he hadn’t known he needed. But to her, it had been more. It had always been more. And she had waited, hoped, for something that he had never been able to give.
And when she left, when she quietly walked away from him without so much as a second glance, it had been the final piece in a puzzle he hadn’t even known he was putting together.
He hadn’t loved her in the way she had wanted him to, in the way she deserved, he had realized the reason she left long after it was too late. But even now, fifty years later, the ache of that unspoken truth gnawed at him. The truth that he had broken her without ever knowing it. Without ever meaning to.
In the years that followed, Azriel had buried it. Buried the regret, the guilt, the unanswered questions deep within himself, like a wound he was too afraid to touch. He had never spoken of it to anyone—not even Rhys. He couldn’t bring himself to tell them that he had failed her in a way that he would never be able to undo.
And so, he carried it. The quiet weight of knowing that someone—someone who had been everything to him—was gone, and he didn’t even know why.
It wasn’t until after the war, after Amarantha’s reign had ended, that Rhys returned. The air was filled with victory, with the promise of a future that seemed almost too good to be true. But to Azriel, it felt hollow. Empty. Because in the midst of all of it, there was still the question of Y/N.
Rhys had come to him, as they always did, to speak of what had been won, what had been lost. But there was something else in the air that night, something unspoken between them. Rhys, as always, seemed to sense it.
“Az,” he began, his voice quiet, almost hesitant, as though he had been waiting for the right moment. “I know you’ve been looking for her. I’ve heard the whispers. The Autumn Court... You thought she might have gone there?”
Azriel’s heart skipped in his chest, the hope that he had long buried resurfacing just for a moment. He had never told Rhys the full truth—the way he had searched for her, the way he had never given up. But Rhys knew. Rhys had always known, his brother always did.
“I did,” Azriel said, his voice thick with something he couldn’t name he couldn't help as his voice broke. “But I couldn’t find her. No one has seen her.”
Rhys’ expression softened, as if he had known all along that this moment was coming. “I searched, Az. I went to the Autumn Court. I asked around... but there’s nothing. She’s gone.”
Azriel’s breath hitched. He knew it, he did. But hearing the words—hearing it from someone else—made it feel final in a way that it hadn’t before.
She was gone.
All because of him.
He had failed her.
And as the truth settled over him, as the weight of the years pressed in, he realized something else—that even after all this time, even after all the battles he had fought, the scars he had earned, there was a part of him that still, somehow, hoped she might return. That hope had been foolish. She wasn’t coming back.
Azriel stood there, the weight of Rhys’ words hanging between them, and for the first time in decades, his thoughts weren’t on his duties or his responsibilities. They were on her. Y/N, the girl he had known since childhood, the girl who had always been like a sister to him. His heart, ever steady in the face of battles and wars, felt something more raw now. More broken. She had been the one person who had always understood him. And now... now she was gone.
She wasn’t just a sister, a friend. She had been the one constant in his life, the one person who had given him something real, something solid. And now, he would never get the chance to tell her how much she meant to him. He would never get the chance to apologize for not seeing her.
His chest tightened with the weight of it all. The girl he had grown up with, the girl who had quietly woven herself into the fabric of his life, was gone and Azriel, the Shadowsinger, could do nothing but stand there in the empty quiet of the night, broken by the truth that she was lost to him forever. And so he sunk to his knees and let himself shatter, under the weight of his heart.
@anarchiii @darkbloodsly @sunnyspycat @er1023 @clementine111002 @buubblles @onebadassunicorn @donnadiddadog @ren-ni @lilah-asteria @rcarbo1 @tele86 @sillyfreakfanparty @sopheeg @secretlyhers @isa1b2h3
#acotar series#acotar#azriel#acotar fanfics#azriel acotar#azriel angst#azriel fanfic#azriel fanfiction#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel x oc#a court of silver flames#a court of frost and starlight#a court of mist and fury#a court of wings and ruin#a court of thorns and roses#shadowsinger x reader#shadow daddy#angst#soulmate au#acotar angst#angst with a happy ending#x reader#reader insert#fem reader#female reader#azriel fic#my fic#fiction
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bitch, i’m a mother! | f1
female driver x f1 drivers (platonic) i like that almost every story i read about a female driver her team ends up being porsche and I’m not mad about it :) so for this fic, the reader is driving for porsche lol also I’m just making up names for the engineers and team principal. also because I’m in love with charlie hunnam, my man is gonna make an appearance
part 1 part 3
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Y/N BEING THE MOTHER OF EVERY DRIVER IN THE PADDOCK
“Y/n is so great, you’re going to love her. She’s the best.” Oscar listened to his new teammate as they walked into the Porsche hospitality. The rookie immediately felt out of place with him being the only one in papaya colors while Lando was in casual clothes.
“Hey, Lando!”
“Lando! How’s it going?”
“Norris, hey!”
Lando greeted most of the Porsche team with a smile while Oscar nodded at them. “I hang out here sometime if you couldn’t tell.” Lando joked.
“So if I can’t find you in Mclaren . . ”
“There’s a big chance I might be here.”
Oscar nodded once again. “Noted. Where’s Y/n?”
As if on cue, Y/n walked into the Porsche hospitality with her team principal by her side. Once she spotted Lando, she called out his name. As the Brit approached the driver and team principal, he gave her a big hug. It was the start of the 2023 season and they hadn’t seen each in a while, of course he was going to give her a hug.
“I’ll see you around, Y/n. Nice to see you, Lando, and you must be mclaren’s rookie. Welcome to F1, I’m Adam.” The Porsche team principal greeted Oscar.
“Thank you—” before Oscar could continue, Y/n cut him off.
“I’ve heard so many great things about you! And you’re an Aussie too! What is it with Mclaren and Aussies? Whatever, I’m glad you’re here, Oscar. I hope you enjoy yourself. Have you eaten yet? I was just in my way to get breakfast. Let me tell you a secret, the Porsche hospitality has the best food in the paddock.” Oscar instantly felt at home with the female driver. She had a comforting presence that Oscar immediately took notice of.
“Told you she’s the best. Just wait until it’s your birthday. She bakes you a cake.” Lando told Oscar.
The entire grid was together for their drivers briefing early in the morning. After going over every detail of the upcoming Grand Prix, the race director decided to let the drivers voice their concerns.
“Does anyone have any questions?”
Y/n raised her hand. “I wanna know who banned the pit wall celebration.”
“Anyone else?”
“Yeah, I’d like to know as well.” Lewis added.
“We can discuss pit wall celebrations at a later time. Excuse me, I am needed somewhere else.” The race director excused himself.
“Don’t worry, I don’t care about being banned. I’ll be there like a proud mom taking millions of pictures of you when you win.” Y/n whispered to Lewis as she layed her head on his shoulder.
“And I’ll be doing the same when you win.” Lewis replied.
“What about when I win? I also want millions of pictures taken of me and the exact same chocolate cake you baked for me for my birthday a year ago. Extra sprinkles please.” Lando smiled innocently.
“Fine, win first then I’ll bake. Shouldn’t be that hard unless you got a tractor for a car.” Y/n teased. “I love you, Lando. Of course I’ll take millions of pictures of you when you win.”
It was a perfect day to race in Silverstone. Like always, Lando had his family in attendance. He was in the mclaren garage when he spotted Y/n on one of the tvs being interviewed by Lissie.
“Hey, that’s my grid mum!” He told his engineer as if his engineer didn’t already know. His smile quickly faded when a blonde man appeared behind Y/n in sunglasses. Lando then watched as the man’s name appeared on the tv.
Charlie Hunnam, actor.
Who was he and why was he with his grid mom?
“Hey, that’s the dude from Sons of Anarchy! My wife watches that series.” Lando heared someone say. He continued to watch the screen as Lissie asked Charlie a question about Y/n.
“She’s incredible, absolutely amazing. I’m happy I finally get to see her talent in person.” Charlie replied, smiling at Y/n which made her blush.
“He’s British . . ” he mumbled.
After Lissie thanked Y/n and Charlie for the interview, the camera kept rolling on them as they walked away. That’s when Lando saw Charlie hold Y/n’s hand then pressed a kiss to the back of it.
“She’s dating a British man and she didn’t tell me?!”
Lando immediately walked out the garage and straight to the Porsche garage. He had a strong feeling Y/n would be showing her new lover around so he started there. He soon spotted the couple talking with the Porsche team principal, Adam.
“Oh, hey Lando! I was about to look for you. I want you to meet Charlie.” Y/n excused herself from Adam and introduced Charlie to her grid son.
“It’s very nice to meet you, mate. Y/n had told me a lot about you.” Charlie smiled.
“Yeah, I’ve heard nothing about you. Nada, zero, not a single thing, zilch.” Lando then turned his attention to Y/n. “I think we need to talk.”
“Okay . . ” Y/n said confused as she turned to Charlie to tell him she would be right back. Lando took her hand and dragged her to a corner away from Charlie. “Lando! What’s wrong? Are you nervous about today?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?”
Oh.
“You always tell me everything and now I kinda feel betrayed. Especially when i also found out he’s British!” Lando said dramatically.
“Lando, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but it just sorta happened. We met a few months ago and he’s made me the happiest ever since. I wanted to introduce you properly today.” Y/n explained.
“He makes you happy? Like genuinely happy? Because if he doesn’t I will run him over repeatedly.” Lando warned.
Y/n laughed and brought Lando in for a hug. “I know you would, but there’s no need for that. I think he’s the one.”
“Before you leave, there’s actually one more gift for you and you don’t have to guess who it’s from.”
Logan was confused, but happily accepted the gift. It was the annual F1 secret santa and he had just finished unwrapping his present. A gift wrapped perfectly with a blue bow was placed in front of him. The tag read ‘From Y/n’ in neat handwriting.
“Thank you, Y/n! I don’t even want to open it, it’s wrapped so good.” Logan chuckled.
Every year, anyone who got a nicely wrapped gift knew it was from Y/n. And any year that someone new entered the season, Y/n would give them a gift during secret santa. She did it for Lando, George, Alex, Charles, Yuki and Guanyu when they were rookies and now she was doing it for Logan and Oscar. She had even sent Nyck a present as well, she wished he was in the paddock doing secret santa as well though.
“Okay, I’ll open it, I’m too curious.” Logan finally unwrapped the present and saw it was a Miami Heat jersey singed by LeBron James. Logan almost freaked out when he saw the signature.
“Holy shit! Wait sorry, I can’t curse, but holy shit!” He took the jersey out of the box and admired it. “This is incredible.”
“You love it?” He heard the familiar comforting voice of Y/n from behind him. “I hope it’s the right size.” She joined Logan in front of the camera.
“It is, don’t worry,” he chuckled as he gave her a hug. “Thank you so much, I love it.”
“I think you just adopted another son.” The camera man told her.
“I love all my grid sons equally.”
#formula 1#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 imagine#f1 x you#f1 driver!reader#f1 one shot#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#platonic#f1 x female reader
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could i have anything with a married vox x reader pleasee? i'm so obsessed with this television it isn't even funny 😭
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okay im FINALLY publishing this — in my defense i wrote like five vox x wife!readers after getting this and couldn't decide which to publish to this ask but now yall are getting over protective husband vox cus i love him and now i wanna make an actual fic also i originally read this request as wife!reader so i made reader fem but I'm just now realizing it's married i hope that's okay!!
warning: vox is a little crazy and reader does not care
No one knew Vox was married — and it wasn’t because he wanted to hide you, or he felt ashamed. He could never feel ashamed; you were basically his pride and joy — It was because he couldn’t stand anyone trying anything with you. Especially because of how much he doted on you. Someone could easily see how much he cared and use it against him — they could hurt you, manipulate you, maybe even force you into a soul-binding deal. He couldn’t risk anything happening to you.
That was why you lived very separate lives… Well, not entirely separate. He couldn’t stand letting you work for someone else (they could take advantage of you, or try to flirt with you), and he couldn’t handle being too far away from him during the day, so you worked at VoxTek. You had a job where you never interacted with your husband, and it left your days feeling exceptionally lonely. Especially because he claimed that he “didn’t want to overwork you,” which meant he stayed at the office much later than you did and you were left at home. Alone for most of the night, usually falling asleep before he got there, and waking without him because he went in earlier than you.
You also had weekends off while he worked a good portion of the day, which let you “go out on the town” of course, but it also left you, again, very lonely. He did email you throughout the day, but that was because no one could see those emails. It was “an outdated form of communication” as he called it, which meant no one looked through them.
Of course, when you did get to see him, you were ecstatic. He went on and on about how much he missed you all week, subtly asking if anyone had bothered you at all. If they did, they very coincidentally disappeared, so you often told him “no” for the sake of your coworkers’ souls.
And of course, after some time, people did start to bother you. They would get promoted, and get the chance to work with your husband directly, while you stayed exactly where you were and didn’t even get a call from him. That led them to teasing, which turned into snide comments and remarks, which became little “accidents” like spilling hot coffee on you or ruining and deleting your work.
One day, after someone dumped piping hot coffee all over you, and a very expensive blouse your husband bought, you had enough and backhanded her.
You were an overlord’s wife, and he gave you everything. Even and especially power. That meant the employee was flung across the room while screens burst and crackled around her, and you were dragged up to Vox’s office.
“What is it now?” Vox asked when your supervisor knocked on his door, ignoring your wincing as you tried to get the scalding hot coffee-stained blouse as far from your skin as possible.
“Another low-class bitch ruining our image,” was the response that made you laugh, knowing this person would be dead as soon as they opened the door.
“Ah…” He sighed, but you knew he was smiling. “Come in.” He was probably going through his weaponry, pulling out just the thing to get rid of the “low-class bitch,” but as soon as the door was opened, you were shoved in front of him, and his weapon went off, you weren’t the one to fall limply to the ground.
The two employees who opened the door quickly dragged the supervisor away and left you alone in the room.
As soon as they were gone, he discarded his weapon and went to you. “What happened to you?” He wiped under your big eyes as he cupped your cheeks, which were dry, but he could tell you were upset and he was doing his best not to go out and get rid of everyone in your department.
“I hit someone,” you said, and he found it adorable. There wasn’t much you could do wrong in his eyes.
Clearly.
“What’d they do to make that happen? I’ll kill them,” was his quick response before he cleared his throat. “I mean, I’ll talk to them about it.” His eyes drifted down to your blouse, his screen blinking and hands twitching on your face before they went to your blouse and began unbuttoning. He didn't say anything else, electricity zapping between his fingers as he fumbled with the buttons until he cursed and ripped the blouse open. The buttons clattered to the floor as he muttered, “I’ll get — get — get you a new one,” screen buffering and electricity zapping over his entire body. “Are you hurt?”
“I don’t think so.” You knew not to tell him how much it burned with the way he was reacting already. “Vox—“
“After I take care of you, you're going to point out who did this, and who watched it happen. Understood?” He knew you tried to spare your coworkers from his temper, but he wasn’t going to let that happen this time.
“It’s happened before—“ A loud whir of electricity sounded as Vox’s screen flashed and blue jolts of electricity burst around him. You shrunk back at the overwhelming power, quickly telling him, “I’m fine–”
“You didn’t tell me?” His voice sounded electric, making you swallow as he removed his overcoat to use as a towel to pat your chest dry. He couldn’t even enjoy the sight of you at work, topless, when this was the reason. He watched the way you winced with every touch of his jacket on you, fingers sparking at the redness he could see beneath the coat. His body jolted and the overcoat immediately sparked fire. “Fuck!” He tossed it to the ground, stepping on it to put the fire out.
“You need to relax,” you told him pointedly. “I’m fine. You’re overreacting.”
“You’re underreacting,” he said childishly, taking in a deep breath before going to a closet in the large room and grabbing a spare blouse for you and an overcoat for him. At the sight of the many things he had to give to you and spoil you with in there, he calmed only slightly. “Did you at least hit her hard?” He asked as he handed you the blouse. You hummed, nodding and making a very prideful smile come to his face as you buttoned up the blouse. “Do you like this one?” He asked quickly, his evident mood shift into wanting to please you making you chuckle. “It’s not as expensive as the one that cunt ruined,” you hummed along to satiate his ego, “but I thought you’d make it look good.” Before you could say anything, he continued. “I have some more I got for you; do you want to see those instead?”
“I like this one. You picked it.” His screen buffered as he cleared his throat, a pink glow on his cheeks that he quickly got rid of. When you noticed he began to relax, you took the opportunity of being in his office to your advantage, sweetly asking, “Can we have a moment together before you go down and fire half your company?”
“Anything you want, dear,” he said, much more cheerful than he was moments ago. “Do you want anything to eat? Drink? I’ll call something up.” He went to the desk at the end of the room as you went to the seating area and sat on the sofa. “Where should I order from?”
“Vox, you’re at work. You shouldn’t order anything,” you had to remind him of his own rules he set for himself. “They’ll see me here–”
“Are you wearing your ring?” He asked, speaking over you.
“I’m always wearing my ring.”
He nodded, looking down at his matching golden band. “Let them see.” In the moment you gave him to think, he’d come to the more rational conclusion that he wouldn't harm anyone. Just that he’d terrify them to death by making it known that you were not to be touched ever again. “I’ll make sure everyone knows who they decided to fuck with today.”
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel headcanon#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hotel vox x reader#vox imagine#vox x reader#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel vox#vox#vox hazbin hotel#vox hazbin
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glory hole (v.c)
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pairing: sex worker!reader x patron!vernon
preview: vernon's friends found a club that has secret glory holes. they know he's dying to get laid, so why not visit the glory holes?
tags/warnings: fem reader, reader is basically bent over a table and chained down, monster cock vernon, spanking, overstimulation, squirting, pet names (slut, whore, cumdump), degrading, reader calls vernon 'sir', unprotected penetration (wrap it before you tap it), creampies
trigger warnings: n/a
wc: 1.2k
song recs for this fic: gimmie more by britney spears
a/n: this one's a doozy
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vernon anxiously nibbles on his fingernail as he waits for his friends to arrive. he’s standing outside a raunchy club, looking like a total creep. why did he agree to this? there’s no way he’s actually this desperate to get off.
just as he’s about to walk away, his friends round the corner, laughing and carrying on. “yo vernon! you excited, buddy?” his friend, mingyu, asks. vernon shrugs. “i guess so.” mingyu throws his arm over vernon’s shoulder and guides him into the club.
they head straight for the back of the room, finding a small desk that looks like a reception desk. “hey, reservation for jeonghan?” his other friend walks up. reservations for glory holes is insane. “ah, welcome back sir. 4 of you today?” the receptionist asks and jeonghan nods. the receptionist smiles and types something into her computer.
“would any of you gentlemen like protection? we make sure our workers are all clean but if you’d like the extra precaution, let me know.” everyone shakes their heads so vernon follows suit. the woman smiles again. she hands all four of them waivers to sign. he reads it carefully before signing it and handing it back.
the receptionist rises from her chair and walks over to unlock the door beside the group of friends. “your rooms are numbers 5 through 8. remember, feel free to engage in any of your fantasies as long as you don’t seriously injure anyone. their chains are easy to rotate if you wanna change positions. enjoy your 2 hours with our lovely women.” with that, the door is shut.
“alright boys, see you later,” mingyu shouts before running into a room and clicking it locked. all of the other disperse as well, leaving vernon alone. he wanders to the last one of their rooms available. room number 6. he can already hear the sounds of skin slapping coming from other rooms.
he opens the door hesitantly, finding you bent over, humming to yourself. when he clicks the door locked, you jump and stop humming. “welcome sir. feel free to use me as you please. i’m here for your pleasure,” you recite the standard welcome message to the new patron who has just walked in. you can only hope it’s not some gross middle aged man with a tiny cock again.
when you feel no contact for another 5 minutes, you get worried. “sorry, i don’t mean to not touch you, i got dragged here by my friends and i feel bad using you.” you can’t help but stifle a small giggle. a man feeling bad about using a glory hole? that’s a new one. “sir, this is my job. just fuck me already.” by now, you’re certain he’s an ugly, washed up man.
finally, you hear his belt jingle and you know he’s sucking it up. you hear him take a deep breath before shoving into you. you gasp at the size, your walls stretching painfully around him. you grip your chains with such force that your knuckles turn white.
“fuck, you feel so fucking good,” he mutters before beginning to move. he starts off slow, knowing that the stretch is painful. he grips your hips tightly, leaving finger indents in your soft skin. he snaps your hips against yours, driving his cock against your g-spot and prodding your cervix. it’s been so long since you actually enjoyed a patron, but this felt so good. you wished you could reach your arm back to hold his arm or something.
“you’re such a good slut, aren’t you?” he says before landing a hard smack on your ass. clearly he has managed to get much more comfortable. you nod your head, agreeing with him. you can feel your release building up with every thrust. such a timid man fucking so well is unheard of. but you’re loving this. you grip your chains for dear life, gasping for air as your orgasm creeps up. “god, please sir i’m gonna cum,” you beg, barely fighting it off.
“you can cum, but i’m not gonna stop fucking you. i’m not done yet. i’m gonna use your hole until i cum” vernon smacks your ass again and you fall over the edge. your legs shake violently. if it weren’t for the chains, you would be snapping your legs closed. he continues to jackhammer into your hole, pushing you past the edge and towards another orgasm. you notice that his thrusts are getting sloppy, signaling to you that he’s close. “please cum inside me, sir. i need it so bad,” you plead, your walls squeezing around him. he digs his nails into your sides as he cums, filling you to the brim. the sensation sends you into another orgasm, this time you squirt all over his legs and the floor.
“aw, the cumdump likes being filled so much that she couldn’t take it,” he snickers, running his fingers over your sensitive core. you shake and twitch at every small touch. “i’m gonna flip you over, i wanna see your pretty face.” he hooks his arms around your waist and rolls you over. being rolled over holds your arms down to your chest with the chains, still trapped.
when you’re finally situated and you see his face, you’re astonished to see how beautiful this man is. you almost wish this wasn’t a business exchange, but you know better than to get attached to customers. “well aren’t you a pretty little thing. so pretty and such a whore,” he comments, stroking your face. he ducks down to situate your crossed legs around his waist. he reaches down between you to shove back into you.
“i have 15 minutes left, i’m gonna get another orgasm out of you.” 15 minutes? how has it already almost been 2 hours? he slides into you easier this time, your hole having yet to recover from his previous entry. your arms strain against your chains, wishing you could grab onto him to ground yourself. he pounds into you ruthlessly, his only focus being to drive you over the edge.
he reaches down to rub your clit and you throw your head back, your eyes crossing involuntarily. “oh my fucking god,” you croak, your voice getting caught in the back of your throat. you squeeze your legs around his waist, desperate for release. with 5 minutes left on the clock, you plead for your orgasm. “cum with me, slut. i’m gonna fill you up again,” he demands, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face.
as he feels you tighten for a final time, he leans down to kiss you. you hadn’t been kissed in so long so this surprised you. you kiss him back, cumming onto his cock as he simultaneously fills you up to the brim.
he pulls out of you and flips you back over into your original position just as his time strikes zero. “h-have a good day sir. feel f-free to return whenever you’d like,” you stutter the standard goodbye message. he slaps your ass one last time before pulling his pants back up and walking out.
as the door closes behind him, he finds his friends coming out of their own rooms as well. “so? how was it?” jun asks him, patting him on the back. “so good, and she’s so hot,” he says, gesturing back to his room.
“i will be coming back.”
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© lomlhwa 2024
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