#anyone know The Secrets of Moonacre Valley?

[unattainablesillygoose]

Ayo, how'd you find my Moonacre playground 🤨

[good--merits-accumulated]

OK, SEVERELY rambly post incoming but - Anderperry Stardust (2007)/ The Little White Horse AU, anyone?

Rundown: I think many of us are familiar with Stardust, originally a Neil Gaiman book but also a great film, starring Claire Danes as a falling star and That Guy Who Plays Daredevil as the lad who promises to bring her to the girl he's infatuated with. The Little White Horse is, to the best of my knowledge, more unknown, but equally very good (for sentimental reasons, I think of it much more highly than Stardust). Published in 1946 by Elizabeth Goudge, it tells the story of thirteen-year-old orphan Maria Merryweather, who moves to her cousin Sir Benjamin's Moonacre Manor in the West Country, where she finds a) a thriving cosy community and a long family history, b) the little white horse of the title, c) a longstanding family feud cutting off Moonacre from the sea, d) her imaginary best friend Robin, real and in the flesh, and e) some of the most deliciously-described food that has ever been or will be. It's a great book even past the rose-tinted glasses of my childhood. Go read it. (The one (1) marring is that you can't find a bloody edition that doesn't have a JK Terfling quote pasted onto the cover, because apparently it was one of her favourite books, but fuck OFF, I'm reclaiming it now. Thou shalt not keep the cosy low fantasy from me.)

Anyway even though I mention Stardust this isn't really part of the AU I have in my mind, except for the bit with the Star, because Todd as a main character who thinks he's a very forgettable bland boy-in-the-corner until he finds out he's a star is a great thought to me. Particulars on /how/ he's a star to be fleshed out later! (I only thought of this AU about two hours ago, lol.)

In my mind this is how it goes - nebulously Olden Times setting (TLWH is set in 1842, so perhaps then). Todd is around seventeen/eighteen and Geoff has just graduated from university, and gone off around Europe, accompanied by their parents. Months go by. Something happens - he's never given the liberty of knowing, but Geoff and their parents stay in Europe, and the townhouse in London is sold, and Todd is packed off to stay at a distant relative's - Keating, as it turns out. It's a blessing in disguise, because Todd is finally away from his family for the first time in his life and around people that appreciate him. He begins to bloom under this new care - but there are strange family secrets only now being revealed to him, and dark forces beyond the valley which threaten to disrupt the haven he's found...

The rest is very cosy fantasy, featuring Mr Perry as the local uptight vicar locking horns with Keating at every opportunity, Neil as his withdrawn but friendly son just longing for a rebellion, and more! (Read: Charlie is here and he is Outrageous as usual. Read also: Pitts as a sailor because I think he'd like it.) Right now I'm thinking of adding an equivalent of Monsieur Cocq de Noir for a villain (Mr Perry is NOT the villain), and Cameron can play a part there so I can give him a good redeeming! Here are a couple of extracts from TLWH to show the kind of mood/tone we're working with:

Thematically, I REALLY like the idea of Todd as a star because it allows me to work in a very fun trope, of "not of the rose but near the rose" - when a character perhaps is shy and a little quiet and reclusive, but inspires other people around them to brilliance and greatness. (Honestly I do think this kind of goes in with the film, where it's not just Keating's teaching but Todd's reaction to it and his presence that galvanise Neil to continue.) This ties in really well if Todd's a star and adds to the overall self-confidence journey - plus I was really thinking about the sun/moon motifs! They're very prominent in TLWH (Maria is a "moon" Merryweather and Robin is a very sunny boy), and I really want to implement them here with slight twists. I think of Todd as a sunny moon; yes he's warm and caring and cheerful but once you go a little closer it's more of a luminosity rather than a blaze, there's a coolness and quietness to him I like. You know, a quiet character doesn't always have to be quiet because there's something "wrong" with them, sometimes they're just like that. For Neil it's the opposite, he's a moony sun; under the thumb of his father he's polite and decorous and demure but somewhere under all of that there's a very loud and booming laugh and a healthy sort of ruddiness. I don't know, I just like sun/moon motifs!!!!!!!!!!

(On a more personal note: this AU, which I already love very much despite not having known very long, would be above all a careful love letter to the West Country. It's been lovely living around here almost all my life and by this time in September I'll be hopefully up very far north at uni, so I'm pre-emptively kind of :') about it. Mutuals who are at uni/college how on earth did you cope?)

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Secret of Moonacre (2008)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

No one has ever read a truly terrible book and thought “I could fix this by making it a movie!” This means The Little White Horse by Elizabeth Goudge - the inspiration for the 2008 film The Secret Moonacre - must be great. You couldn't tell from this snooze-fest but I have to believe it.

After her father's death, Maria Merryweather (Dakota Blue Richards) inherits a book titled The Ancient Chronicles of Moonacre Valley. It tells of a curse cast upon two feuding families by the Moon Princess (Natascha McElhone). Sent to live with her estranged uncle Benjamin (Ioan Gruffudd) along with her governess, Miss Heliotrope (Juliet Stevenson), Maria begins exploring the grounds of the castle she now calls home. There, she begins wondering if the story she's read is based on some truths.

Seemingly pieced together from bits of other fantasy films and obviously released to capitalize on the Harry Potter craze, Moonacre is profoundly dull. The only "original" elements of this story are scraps the bigger franchises rejected, such as the Capulet and Montague-like feud between the two families - a quarrel that makes little sense. On one side is uncle Benjamin and the handful of servants he employs. On the other is the de Noir family and their soldiers - all of which looks like they come from the Middle Ages, despite the film being set sometime in the 18th century. At least I think that’s when it’s set. There are a number of historical anachronisms which clearly indicate the story is set at some point in the past but when? Who knows? Anyway, the villains have this huge army and aren’t above murder as their skull-filled dungeons clearly prove, so why haven’t they just taken Moonacre Valley by force? We’re probably not meant to wonder such things, as this film is meant for children and children alone, but you can’t help it. None of the characters are interesting and the magic is as captivating as the protagonist. You just kind of sit there, waiting for it to end so you can walk away while averting the eyes of anyone else who had the misfortune of seeing the film too.

This is a terrible-looking picture. The special effects are so lousy I assumed the engorged moon in the sky was unintentional until it’s revealed the celestial body is on a collision course for Earth - part of the curse set by The Moon Princess. It’s obviously a low-budget production so more forgiving reviewers might be kinder to it but not this one. There is too much time wasted on useless characters such as the possibly magical cook (who I was thought was some kind of elf creature based on the DVD cover) to think even a big budget would've saved this project. While we’re on that subject, take a look at the quote on the back! “The Little White Horse was my favourite childhood book” says J.K. Rowling. That’s the best they could scrounge together for the home release? Merlin’s beard. Did I really pay $5 to see this?

The best thing about The Secret of Moonacre is that its instantly forgettable. If someone ever decided to properly adapt it, no one would ever say "oh, they're remaking that movie again? no thanks!" No one - not even those who acted in the film - will remember this adaptation exists. I can’t picture anyone saying they enjoyed the film - even ironically. (On DVD, January 25, 2019)