#anyone can add to this please actually add to this

[tongue-like-a-razor]

Doctor Doctor, Gimme The News | Part II

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Doctor!Reader

Summary: You receive a particularly difficult patient by the name of Bradshaw and you try your best to resist his charms.

CW: tall Bradley, Mavdad, it's still goofy XD

WC: 1800+

Part 1 | Masterlist

You’re sitting at the bar with a drink in your hand, waiting for your friend to finish flirting with the bartender so you can pay your tab, when you hear a familiar voice from behind.

“Almost didn’t recognized you without the stethoscope.”

You glance over your shoulder wearily, instantly recognizing the tall aviator you met at the clinic earlier in the week. Bradshaw, was it? “Yeah, I get that a lot,” you say, giving him a polite smile before turning away.

Bradley doesn’t take the hint and plants himself on the barstool next to you. “So, are you gonna tell me your name? Or am I just gonna have to keep calling you Doc? Might get a bit awkward in bed.”

You snort into your drink as you’re taking a sip. Bradley grins, clearly pleased that he’s made you laugh. His slightly narrowed eyes sweep over your face with a quiet confidence, and you find yourself rather enjoying his attention. “Well, for the sake of making things less awkward,” you respond with a small smile, and then tell him your name.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he says, and then leans forward slightly to add, “again.”

You bite into your lip to suppress your widening grin.

“I was hoping I’d run into you, actually,” he comments, turning away to flag down the otherwise occupied bartender.

“Oh yeah?” you ask, feigning surprise.

“Yeah,” Bradley responds, tapping on his beer bottle and nodding at the bartender. He turns back to you and shrugs. “Saves me from having to fake an illness to come see you.”

You eye him somewhat reproachfully. “That would be extremely inappropriate.”

Bradley laughs. “If you think that’s inappropriate, I’m not gonna tell you what I planned on doing once I got there.”

Your eyes widen at the insinuation. “Lieutenant!” you exclaim.

Bradley continues chuckling. “Don’t worry, you’d have liked it.” He winks and then nods at the bartender who’s brought him his beer.

You stare at him because his boldness is mindboggling. “You shouldn’t be drinking with a head injury,” you point out.

He looks at you with amusement. “What head injury?”

“The one that brought you to my office?”

“You know what brought me to your office?” he says, and then points a thumb over his shoulder at a crowded table near the back of the bar. “Captain Maverick Mitchell. My self-appointed father figure,” he says in a tone that’s half-grudging, half-affectionate. “And possibly fate,” he adds as an afterthought.

You blink at him skeptically when he glances back at you. “Wow,” you say. “Pulling out the big guns.”

Bradley laughs again. “I have quite the arsenal.”

“Oh, I bet,” you say with a chuckle. “Aviator, right?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Bradley responds proudly. Then he nods at the glass you bring to your lips. “Looks like you need a refill.”

You shake your head. “I was about to head out actually.”

Bradley purses his lips and narrows his eyes. “But then I arrived and changed your mind, right?”

You laugh slightly. “Not quite, Lieutenant,” you respond, rising from your stool and waving at the bartender. “I’ve got an early morning.”

Bradley gets out of his seat and pulls out his wallet. “Allow me, please,” he says.

“That’s not necessary,” you reply uncomfortably. You don’t like feeling indebted to anyone.

Bradley gives you a more serious look. “It’s the least I could do for nagging you this evening.”

You can’t help the smile that spreads of its own accord. You find Bradley reasonably attractive, sure. But it’s the way he carries himself that’s really got you hooked. You can hardly pull your gaze away. “Don’t forget about the part where you were the most obnoxious patient.”

Bradley lets out a hearty laugh. “That deserves a whole pint, Doc.”

You give him a smile. “Maybe another time,” you say politely. Despite his persistence, you can’t jeopardize your position at the clinic by consorting with a patient.

But before you turn to leave, Captain Mitchell approaches the bar and, upon perceiving you, he exclaims, “Oh! It’s the doctor!” He gestures in your direction while looking at Bradley.

Bradley gives him a flat look. “No shit,” he says.

Maverick glances between the two of you and then nods in realization. “You’ve spotted her already.”

You press your lips together to conceal a smile as Bradley brings a hand to his face like he’s thoroughly embarrassed by his ‘self-appointed father figure’. “Hello again,” you say to the captain, extending your hand.

“Good to see you, Doctor,” Maverick replies with a knowing grin, shaking your hand. “Almost didn’t recognized you without the stethoscope.”

“Oh god,” Bradley groans. “That's embarrassing.”

Maverick looks over at him with a confused expression while you giggle. “I was actually planning on scheduling him in for a follow-up,” Maverick says. “Noticed some concerning behaviors.”

You raise your eyebrows while Bradley watches Maverick’s profile incredulously.

“New behaviors?” you ask, glancing back at Bradley.

“No, no.” Maverick waves a hand nonchalantly as he settles onto a barstool. “Not new.”

Bradley shakes his head. “Why are you such a shit disturber?”

Maverick laughs and claps him on the back. “You buy the lady a drink yet?”

You drop your head slightly to hide your growing smile.

“I was trying to,” Bradley declares. “Before your ass showed up.”

You look up apologetically at the two men who are now watching you expectantly. “I’m not…thirsty.”

Maverick winces while Bradley’s shoulders visibly fall. “It’s his fault, isn’t it?” Bradley says, gesturing at Maverick with his thumb again.

“How is it my fault?” Maverick exclaims.

“It’s not his fault,” you attest, glancing at the captain.

“You should talk some more about my concerning behaviors,” Bradley retorts.

Maverick snorts. “I was kidding!” he says. “She knows!” he gestures at you. “You know, right?”

You glance between the two men patiently, wondering if they realize just how much they have in common. “Neither of you is driving tonight, right?” you ask, feeling, for some strange reason, a sense of responsibility for them.

Maverick turns to face you with a jolt. “I’m sober,” he asserts.

Bradley’s eyebrows converge in a dubious expression before he looks back at you. “He’s not driving,” he confirms.

“And you?”

“This is only my second beer!” he exclaims.

You meet his gaze with a smile because you don’t want him to feel attacked. “Okay,” you respond gently. “Drive safe.”

You start to walk away when you hear Bradley say, “Can I walk you to your car, Doc?”

You turn to face him again, about halfway to the door. “You know my name now,” you say, and he grins at you.

“I do,” he agrees. “That was for old times’ sake.”

You sigh. “Sure, Lieutenant. You can walk me to my car.”

…

Out in the parking lot, Bradley muses, “I’m thinking of maybe dislocating my shoulder next week. That’s an easy fix, right?”

You look over at him sharply. “That’s not funny.”

Bradley grins. “Not even a little?”

You roll your eyes at him and continue walking.

“Come on, Doc!” he calls after you. “My sense of humor is a good thing, remember?”

You smile to yourself and slow your pace to let him catch up. “There are other ways of getting my attention besides injuring yourself,” you remark as he falls back in step with you.

“Such as?” he asks.

You approach your car and unlock the door. “I can’t give away all the answers, can I?”

Bradley presses his lips together and grins. “Does that mean I have a shot?”

You lower your gaze coyly. “I don’t know, Lieutenant.”

“That’s not a ‘no’,” he points out.

You smile, glancing back up at him. “No,” you agree. “I suppose it’s not.”

Bradley’s eyes sparkle mischievously as he holds your gaze. “Can I take you to dinner?” he asks.

“No,” you reply almost immediately. Then, after a beat, you add, “Not yet.”

Bradley licks his lips, still grinning. “I’ll take it.”

You chuckle slightly, reaching for the door to your car.

“Can I stand here with you a little longer?” he asks, his voice a little more raspy when it isn’t bursting with confidence.

You pause, your hand still on the door, shocked at how desperately you want to oblige. How delightful it would be to just say yes on a whim. Without considering the repercussions or weighing the pros and cons. Without deliberation or apprehension. Impulsively. The word itself makes you flustered. “Okay,” you say, glancing up at him as he shifts a little closer.

Bradley smiles at you and leans his back to the car. He stands quietly for a few moments, just existing beside you, which you find both endearing and infuriating. You don’t have a lot of time on your hands and simply standing around is a colossal waste of it in your books. But something about the warm evening breeze paired with the smell of the ocean and Bradley’s crisp cologne makes the experience less harrowing, and maybe even possibly pleasant.

Still, you’re restless. “So, when you said you wanted to stand here, you actually meant stand here…” you comment.

Bradley glances down at you with an amused expression. “You got something else in mind, Doc?”

You half-snort, half-chuckle. “I just thought maybe you had something else to say. I didn’t realize we’d be standing in silence.”

Bradley grins at you. “It’s called being present.”

You study him with a slight grimace, genuinely trying to keep your cynicism at bay. Being present isn’t a kind of luxury you can often afford. Most days, you don’t even get a chance to eat sitting down. “What does that accomplish?” you ask.

Bradley, who’s still watching you with a smile, replies, “Does everything you do have a purpose?”

“Of course,” you say. “Why else would I do it?”

Bradley raises his eyebrows and puts his hands into his pockets. “That’s very practical of you.”

“It’s efficient,” you point out, trying to highlight the importance of productivity.

Bradley nods patiently. “Sounds like you need a night off, Doc.”

You laugh. “I just had a night off. But it had a purpose – my friend needed help wooing the bartender.”

Bradley chuckles. “Has the purpose ever been to just have a good time?”

You make a face and shrug. “That’s not really a priority of mine.”

“Wow, Doc, you’re a hoot,” Bradley replies facetiously.

“I warned you,” you remind him, opening your car door.

Bradley leans his arm over the frame of your car as you climb inside. “You know you leave me no choice, right?” he says, ducking his head slightly to peer into the vehicle.

“What are you talking about?” you ask, glancing up at him.

“We’re going to have to rearrange your list of priorities,” he says.

You watch him for a moment, marveling at his persistence. His gaze drops briefly to your lips before flitting back up to your eyes again, and you wonder what it might feel like to be kissed by a guy like Bradley. It would probably be sexy and spontaneous. It would probably catch you off guard and possibly even offend you a little. Then again, maybe you wouldn’t mind being mildly offended if it meant kissing Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw. “I’m not sure that’s a realistic goal,” you say. Your tone might be sarcastic, but the statement is fairly accurate.

Bradley grins. “I don’t mind a challenge.”

Rooster Tag List:

I'll be putting the rest of the list in the comments shortly! Please feel free to let me know if you no longer wish to be tagged in my Rooster fics.

@rosiahills22

@olliepig

@xoxabs88xox

@callsignvenus

@atarmychick007

@shanimallina87

@wkndwlff

@ijustwantedplums

@SometimesAnAlice

@risingtripletaurus

@desert-fern

@sarcasm-n-insomnia

@graciereads

@pono-pura-vida

@ltfirecracker

@rascallyrascals

@kitty-moonflower-blog

@Melody-death

@bellaireland1981

@justlurkingplsignore

@rhettsluvr

@mandyppp

@eloquentdreamer

@topherwrites

@jessicab1991

@seitmai

@novastories

@stoneyggirl2

@roosterandme

@julielightwood

@primroseluna

@diorrfairy

@fandom-princess-forevermore

@dontletthemtakeyoualive

@schreksdoubledeckerhomechecker

@memoriesat30

@igotmajordaddyissues

@widemiffyhappy

@queerqueenlynn

@hizzielover

@ttokkisbee

@justmymindandstuff

@jrdyn

@callsign-mayhem

@og-baby-ob14

@chewymoustachio

@itsizzythebell

@marvelshoney

@sarcastic-sourwolf

@birdy-bat-writes

[pboogerswbb]

TOO LOST IN YOU - pt II

Paige Bueckers x bartender!oc (Valerie) (i know first part is x reader... i'm sorry for changing to an oc but it makes more sense in a multipart series)

playlist, part I

DISCLAIMER!: this is fanfiction (note the word FICTION), this is not a true depiction of what i think paige is like, this is purely fiction for entertainment purposes

Warnings: toxic!paige, language, some sexual thoughts but no smut in this one (sorry guys), paige is an asshole fr

Wordcount: 4.9k (sorry)

A/N: i got so much love and so many people asking for more after the first part <3 ty all i'm so grateful! this will likely be around 7 parts so please buckle up lol. ALSO I'M SORRY FOR NO SMUT but let me cook guys it'll get good. the point of this part is to get inside paige's head and understand why she is the way she is, things will speed up in the next part i swear. OK GO READ ILYSM MWAH

-

It’s hard being Paige Bueckers. Not every 23-year-old had to deal with the kind of pressure I did. Most of the time it felt like the whole world was watching me, waiting for me to fail. It used to bother the shit out of me but after all the injuries, everything I’ve been through, I thrived on it. I knew I would prove them wrong - prove that I’m great, that I’m me. Just like my dad would tell me, over and over again. I knew I was great, so greatness was expected. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t come with a great deal of pressure. I always said pressure is a privilege. But sometimes when I lay in bed alone after a game, even a win, the pressure consumed me. I didn’t like to be alone. So I went around different girls’ beds, like they meant nothing. Because they didn’t - they were just a distraction from my own mind. Like I said, it’s hard being Paige Bueckers - hard being me.

“You okay babe?”

I’m shaken out of my thoughts, returning back to earth, back to the small bed I was lying in. The brunette next to me nuzzles her nose into my arm, watching me with that look I knew too well. Like she wanted something from me. I hated when girls looked at me like that.

I clear my throat, trying not to flinch as she wraps her arm around me. “Yeah Zoe, ‘m fine,” I murmur, letting her press herself to my side, her body sticky from our prior activities. Zoe was a cuddler, so she was usually last on my roster. It’s hard to plan your escape when a girl clings to you like a koala and worst of all, wants to sleep like that all night. I never got that, cuddling while sleeping. It gets hot, sweaty and cramped, I find it hard to believe anyone actually enjoys it. People just think they do because they’re in love or something. And I can’t afford to be in love. I had a natty to win.

Zoe’s slender finger brushes through my blonde hair and I can feel that claustrophobic, uncomfortable tightness inside me. Like I had to get out. Her dorm was dim and the air was heavy and slightly humid from the second round I had insisted on. The sheets stuck to my skin uncomfortably and her bed made this annoying sound everytime I moved or even breathed.

I turn my gaze to Zoe who’s looking at me, all googly eyed. Oh God. She smiles wide and presses a kiss to my cheek. The scent of her shampoo lingers in the air, the smell of banana and some kind of citrus. I had never liked banana scented things.

“Uh, anyway that was fun,” I mumble, and sit up on the bed, forcing her off me as gently as I could. “But I got practice early,” I add, reaching for my t-shirt and throwing it on.

I don’t notice the offended look on Zoe’s face. I grab my phone from the floor, checking my texts urgently.

Yo you tryna do a lil sum tonight?

I know ur not workin sooo we could have a lil fun like we did the other day

Valerie?

I sigh, feeling the knot in my stomach tighten as I stare at the read receipt underneath the texts. I tap on the back of my phone case impatiently, wondering if sending a fourth text would make me pathetic. Maybe I should just call her? Nah, I must be trippin.

Since I met her at Ted’s, Valerie was the first I called when being in my bed alone was tearing up my mind. But it didn’t mean anything, she was good in bed, good at making me forget who I was when I needed to. Also, I liked how she smelled, like coconut. And when she tangled her legs with mine I didn’t shutter or pull away. Sometimes I even wrapped my arm around her, pulling her into me. Not because I needed her. But because her body felt good against mine.

“Aw baby really?” Zoe whines in an overtly soft voice, wrapping the blanket around her as she scoots up on the bed. Her plump bottom lip, swollen from the rough kissing earlier turns into a pout. I quickly avoid her gaze, my eyes landing right onto the floor looking for my pants. “I wanted to cuddle.” Figures.

“I know baby, me too,” a lie, she would never know that though. “Can’t keep my hands off you if I stay tho and I need some sleep.” I lie more, never looking at her. She buys it though, like she does every time. It’s not like I liked to lie, but I also didn’t like disappointing people. Especially girls that looked at me like that. It would kill her to know I texted three girls after Valerie didn’t answer, and the only reason I was here was because Zoe was the fastest to reply..

I leave Zoe like that, naked in bed, pleading with her eyes. Sometimes I felt bad, because I could tell she really liked me. But then I remembered how hard it is to be Paige Bueckers, and I didn’t feel so bad. My job was to be great on the court. Everything else was just background noise.

-

I sit by the court, my chest heaving, throwing my head back to down some water. The squeaking of sneakers echo all around me, blending in with the sound of Geno’s voice screaming at some of the girls working on plays. Coach had been killing us today, not happy with how the last game had went. We had still won, but that was merely a reason to celebrate in his eyes. 

All day I’d been missing shots that should’ve been child’s play for me. I couldn’t help but beat myself up. I was distracted, unfocused. I had been killing myself on the court, hoping it would bring me to my senses. Geno had been the one to tap me on the shoulder and force me to take a break I wipe the sweat off my face into the inside of my shirt, and grab my phone.

Bro are u alive?

I’m gettin worried lowkey

i’m fine paige

Five days. For five days Valerie hadn’t texted me back anything but that. I clench my jaw in frustration, shaking my head to myself. It made no sense to me - yeah we had a falling out but that’s what we did. We bickered and then we kissed and made up, and that’s what we had been doing for months so why was she acting like this now? Well… maybe calling her a psycho bitch last week hadn’t been the best move on my part.

I don’t know why the things she did bothered me so much. When she didn’t laugh at my joke, when she didn’t answer my texts. I don’t know why I felt a constant nervousness swirl inside me when she was mad at me, I had no reason to care. I guess the pussy was just that good, it was tricking me into thinking I did.

“Va-le-r- oh that’s the girl from Ted’s!” KK slams her hands on my shoulders, coming up from behind me, peeping at my phone screen. In a panic, I lock my phone, hiding it from her view.

“Bro, you heard of privacy?” I complain, shoving her playfully as she sits next to me on the ground. KK snickers, her nose scrunching a little as she does. 

“Not since you started peeing with the door open,” the shorter girl next to me argues and I scoff loudly, my mouth wide open.

“One time! And I was drunk!!” I groan, my voice rising a little and eyes going wide. CD quickly turns around and shushes us, shaking her head. Me and KK quickly shut our mouths, my cheeks turning a little red from the scolding.

KK looks at me with raised brows, and then at the phone, and then at me again. Most of the team knew how I kept myself busy when I wasn’t training, but KK was the one who had joined me those countless times at Ted’s and sat with me at the corner table as I watched her. Valerie. There was something so intriguing about her I just had to keep coming back. I always thought once I’d get her to my bed and have my way with her, I’d be done with her, which is how it usually goes. Before I realised that one time turned into five, which turned into me being in her bed getting her right, not even caring about my own most of the time. Getting her off got me off. Just thinking about the way she looked when she came, the way her back arched, her perfect mouth fell open - I really had to stop thinking about her. Why was it so goddamn hard?

It won’t be hard to find another Valerie if she’s gonna keep this difficult act up.

“Girl trouble?” KK asks, her tone more genuine and I roll my eyes, looking at her sideways.

“Yea right,” I chuckle sarcastically, leaning my elbows to my knees. “Just need to find a new one is all.”

KK lets out a small laugh, sipping her water bottle. “The five you got not enough?” She jokes.

I smirk a little glancing at her. “Four,” I correct, as if that made it better somehow. “Just need someone… new,” I mumble, knowing it was the best bet to get my mind off Valerie. I’m sure eventually I’d find someone who was just as hot. Someone who also smelled like coconut.

“Then what do I say to Zoe.”

“Wh- Zoe?” 

KK nods and grins at me. “She texted me asking about your shoe size or sum, wanted to get a gift for you.”

“She- she what?” My voice is full of shock and I can feel the claustrophobic tightness quickly grow inside me. I had never given her KK’s number. She was doing too much. KK just nods, clearly finding the situation amusing.

“Bro…” I groan quietly, as to not piss off CD again, and lean my head forward, resting my forehead against my arms. Zoe clearly hadn’t understood what “just fucking around” meant. Sometimes shit slipped out of my mouth, sure, but I never let her think I liked her. I had to be careful with her.

KK kisses the her teeth and is still nodding. “Yeah… probably time to let her go huh?”

“That bitch is crazy I swear,” I murmur and KK laughs out loud again. I punch her arm, reminding her to keep quiet - an impossible task for KK. Before I can stop myself, the words just slip from my mouth.

“Ted’s tonight?” 

KK looks at me pointedly. “Valerie workin’?” she teases but I shake my head sternly.

“No man, fuck Valerie.” The words tasted bitter in my mouth. “Just need to find a new one, k?”

“You sure you’re not just gon’ ogle at her all ni-”

“KK.” I say sternly

KK nods. “Ok,” she repeats but I can tell from her tone she doesn’t buy it. She shuts up though knowing she could tease me about anything but anything about Valerie got under my skin. Truth was Valerie was working today. I just needed to see her just for a second. Just to know if I was overthinking it, or if she was really icing me out.

-

The Friday night had brought many other students to Ted’s as well, the bar pretty packed and the chatter loud over the music. KK had convinced Ice to join us so the three of us made our way in. The best thing about crowds was it made it easy to blend in, even for us. We push our way through to the bar, my eyes immediately searching for a glimpse of Valerie’s golden brown hair or her wide eyes. All I needed was to see her, I told myself. Even for a second. Then the twist in my stomach would straighten out.

“What can I get you?” The perky voice of the redhead asks over the buzzing crowd. I think her name was Natalie or something. Ice looks over the flyers on the bar, advertising a range of new drinks.

“Let’s try some of these,” Ice suggests and I grab the flyer from her hand. I didn’t really come here to drink so I couldn’t have cared less what we ordered. Especially now I realised Valerie wasn’t even here.

“Uhh yea can we get three Aperol Negronis,”

“You won’t like it,” a stern, but sweet voice interrupts the conversation. I’d recognise that voice anywhere.

Valerie steps out from the back, pinning her hair away from her face and for a moment our gazes meet. Her dark, wide eyes make me let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. For a moment I want to jump over the bar and touch her, to make sure she was really there and not just a mirage of my desires.

“W-why not?” I ask, my voice uncharacteristically shaky. Only with her I got like that. Suddenly my throat felt dry and the nervous twist in my stomach was turning into something you could only call butterflies. Of course I knew it couldn’t be butterflies, because that would mean I cared. I couldn’t afford to care. I didn’t have the time for distractions. I had a national championship to win.

Valerie scoffs looking away from me, ignoring me as I chase her gaze. “Because I know you won’t,” she says. The way she thought she knew me that well irked me. Still, I’d be lying if I said a part of me wasn’t beaming at the fact that I had her attention after a week of trying to chase her down.

I can’t help the pout that forms in defiance. She’s still ignoring me, pouring drinks for a group of boys clearly ogling at her - which only irked me more.

“Well… I want three of them,” I say matter of factly, trying to prove a point.

“Whoa Paige, maybe we should just get a shirl-” Ice chuckles but I shake my head.

“Three Aperol Negronis,” I dictate. Valerie’s stern eyes finally look at me. She looks almost a little scary, not pleased with my tone. “... please.” I add urgently, not wanting to get on her bad side. I guess some would say I already had.

Wordlessly, Valerie rolls her wide eyes and gets to mixing the drinks. I allow my eyes to wander for a moment, noticing how the white shirt of the work uniform hugged her body, the curve of her breasts making my mouth water. Just seeing her was enough to ignite the fire deep in my abdomen. The things I would do to leave with her tonight and take her to my bed, like I had so many times before. I would even settle for just some kissing. Just wanted to let my hands wander down her body, squeeze and feel where I wanted, with no urgency. I needed to feel all of her, wanted to drown in her.

“By card orrr…?” Valerie asks, clearly waiting for the payment. My eyes had gone glassy, and my lower lip had a small dent from the way I’d been biting down on it. I blink stupidly at her, struggling to calm myself down.

“I got it,” KK murmurs and slides her card to Valerie. I grab my drink, and the smell is enough to make my face scrunch up in disgust. I swear it smells like battery acid, and as I take a sip I notice - it also tastes like battery acid. I swallow the orange liquor, it burns on its way down making me cough a little. Valerie was watching me amused. I hated when she was right.

“People actually drink this and like it??” Ice asks, her voice hoarse from coughing as well. KK nods agreeing but I’m too stubborn to admit defeat.

“I actually like it,” I lie with a straight face, my fingers twitching around the glass as I try to get over the bitter aftertaste in my mouth.

“Oh right,” Valerie says, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she turns to another group of customers. I can’t help reach over the bar, my hand grabbing her arm. She turns back to face me, icier than I had ever seen. It shocks me enough that I let go of her, taken aback.

“What?” she asks, her voice filled with annoyance.

“You seen my texts?” is all I ask, and it comes out a little too desperate for my liking.

“Yes,” Valerie says matter of factly. I wait for her to continue but she doesn’t.

“Uh… well thought we’d link up or something,” I add, shifting on my feet as I do.

Valerie sighs in frustration and takes a deep breath to compose herself.

“I’m good,” is all she says and flashes me an ice cold smile. I feel a strange pang in my heart. She had iced me out before, but not like this. Usually seeing her face to face was enough for her to forget our petty little arguments, enough to get her on me again. “I have work,” she adds before finally returning to serve the other customers.

I stand there for a moment, astonished. An uncomfortable ache that had been wavering in my chest was growing too intense for me to ignore anymore. Maybe it was all my fault after all. I had told her I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else and in the moment I had meant it. But then I remembered the stakes. Last year to win a national championship, last year to prove my greatness. I wasn’t going to mess it up just because of some girl. A relationship would be nothing more than a distraction, an unnecessary responsibility. I had enough on my plate. Valerie was selfish for wanting me all to herself. She didn’t understand what she was asking for. Maybe calling her a psycho bitch wasn’t so far off.

I feel someone bump into my back and turn around to find a girl, cheeks blushed and apologetic. I see her eyes widen in recognition - it was always that moment when I knew I could have this girl if I wanted. 

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, I’m a little drunk,” the girl giggles and I offer her an easy smile. I consider taking this girl home, imagining the way I’d lure her into my bed, just a little bit of sweet talk and a smirk would be enough, a hand on her waist, thumb rubbing her skin and soon she’d get this look on her face like she had to have me. It would be so easy, and I wouldn’t have to think about Valerie at all.

But the pain in my chest doesn’t go away, even when I let my mind wander further, how this girl would look underneath me, whimpering while I fuck her. It did nothing to make the pain go away.

“‘S fine,” i murmur and decide to ignore the way she was blinking at me, biting her bottom lip. I grab my drink from the bar, and push past her, finding KK and Ice sitting at our usual table. They both look at me, but don’t ask where I’d been. They both knew better. I sip my drink, cursing to myself in my head about ordering it. With sheer stubbornness I finish it quickly, finding that easier than taking small sips. 

“You’re never picking what we drink again,” KK scoffs, copying me, her face scrunching involuntarily when she finishes her drink. But I barely register her words, as I lean back in the chair, head tilting back to watch Valerie.

She’s giggling with Natalie, throwing her head back in amusement. The chatter in the bar is deafening, but I swear I could hear her laugh in my head vividly. Like my brain had memorised each tone of her voice. There was something different about Valerie, she always shined the brightest in every room she was in. Even the dingy bar was lit up by her. She wasn’t even necessarily extremely lively. It was her mere presence that just made everything better. 

I noticed it the first time I ever saw her, early september. All she did was walk past me on campus, talking lively into her phone. It was her voice I had heard before even seeing what she looked like. Her voice had been enough to make me have to see her. Of course she hadn’t even looked my way, not even a glance. That was the moment I knew I had to have her.

“You enjoy it?” Valerie asks KK and Ice, fully ignoring me as she walks to our table to clean up. I watch the golden bracelet she always wore dangling on her wrist as she grabs the empty glasses. I lean back and tilt my head to look up at her, needy for her attention. Licking my lips I look her up and down, that usually worked enough to get her naked. But now, she didn’t even glance at me. Annoyance grew within me as she chatted with KK, laughing at her jokes.

It was then when my eyes moved from her lips to her neck that I saw it - a dark bruise underneath her ear, right on the spot where she liked to be kissed. I knew, because I had left many bruises there and gotten scolded for it. But this wasn’t mine. This was someone else’s.

“Okay well see ya around,” Valerie smiles and turns to take the glasses to the back. I feel the pang in my chest quickly flip, turning into anger. I was furious. Who did she think she was? Sleeping around with someone else, not answering my texts, letting someone else mark her like that. I felt my body turn hot, and without a word to KK and Ice I get up from my seat, nearly knocking it over as I take quick strides to reach Valerie, following her into the back, ignoring the STAFF ONLY sign on the door.

My steps are heavy and loud as I reach her, standing by the sink, handling the dirty glasses. I was shaking my head to myself, trying to control my anger. But it was getting the best of me.

“Staff only plea-” Valerie starts and turns to me, unable to miss the redness of my face, the clenched jaw and the way I was biting on the insides of my cheeks. “Paige?” she asks, furrowing her brows, confused.

The pounding in my head grows and I let out a scoff, not feeling in control of myself. My brain was moving faster than I could follow, I felt lightheaded. I felt furious. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I ask, my voice loud. I didn’t really care about being overheard.

“Huh?” Valerie asks, clearly bewildered, but already getting defensive in response to how I was acting.

“What, you don’t text me, call me or nothing? Because you’ve been too busy fucking some other bitch?” I yell, my hand pointing to her neck. Valerie’s eyes widen in realisation but quickly turn angry too. 

“I- WHAT?” She yells back and takes a step towards me.

“Don’t play dumb. So who is it?” I say sternly, grinning bitterly at her, my eyes looking down at her.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes shaking her head which only infuriates me more.

“I said. Who. Is. It?” I repeat, grabbing her arm. She pushes my hand off her, anger growing on her face as her brows furrowed further.

“How is it any of your business who I sleep with Paige?” She argues.

She had a point. We weren’t exclusive. Matter of fact it was pretty hypocritical of me to be so angry when I had a roster of girls on my phone, ready to answer my calls at any time of day. My anger had taken over though, and the little sense I had when it came to Valerie, was completely gone.

I throw my head back and chuckle bitterly, provoking her further. “See I knew you’re a lotta things but didn’t know you were a slut too,” I hiss, the words slipping out without much thought. I couldn’t think of anything but how furious I felt.

Valerie laughs loud, but it’s not the sweet laugh I was used to. It was a bitter, angry laugh.

“Me?! You’ve slept with every girl that swings your way on campus and even some that don’t! You’re the slut Paige!” she screams, her wide eyes burning with anger, her finger coming up to point at my face. It pissed me off, the way it was assigning blame, like all of this was my fault. Like it wasn’t she who slept with someone.

“I don’t owe you anything!” she declares, her voice revealing a hint of hurt, the way it cracked slightly. “I’m done with you. I’m serious Paige. Done,” she adds, her voice calmer, but more authoritative. “Now get out of my bar.”

My face was hot and red, my chest was heaving and my head spun. The hurt in her voice made me waver, made my chest ache more. I blink at her stupidly as she turns back to the dishes, already missing having her attention. I was fine with the yelling, the fighting, as long as it meant she was looking at me, or talking to me. But now she’s done with me? Fine, so was I. Wouldn’t take me longer than a day to find a new Valerie.

“Pshh whatever,” I murmur and storm out of the back, heading fast towards the exit. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, my chest felt tight and I could taste the bitter Aperol on my tongue still. It made me nauseous,

I’m gasping for air once I feel the chilly breeze of february hitting my skin. The silence outside was overwhelming, forcing me to realise the rapid pace of my own thoughts. My mind was swirling with flashing images of Valerie, on top of someone, looking down at her like she did at me, the idea of her moaning someone else’s name made me sick.

“Fuck!” I shout, unable to control myself. A group of girls near me turn to look at me but return to their conversation when I sit myself down on the curb. What a standard I was setting for student athletes everywhere right now.

My eyes burn and before I notice, a tear rolls down my cheek. I bury my face into my hands and rub my jaw, my anger easing with each exhale. I didn’t know why I was crying, I didn’t understand any of this. I couldn’t believe the things I had said, the way I had acted. I was supposed to be disciplined, in control, but I felt so out of control when it came to Valerie.

“Paigey…” KK murmurs and suddenly I realise her and Ice are standing in front of me, looking down at me sympathetically. Embarrassed, I wipe the tears away and try to steady my breathing.

“Uhh sorry just gimme a sec guys,” I sigh looking at the ground. They sit on either side of me, wrapping their arms around me. I lean into Ice’s shoulder and I’m grateful how they don’t pry, or talk. We just sit there in silence for a while.

I take a deep sigh and lift my head back up, chewing on my bottom lip. I glance at both of the girls sitting next to me, grateful for the friends I had. At least I got one thing right.

“I dunno what just happened,” I sigh, shaking my head thinking back to my behaviour. The shame I felt made my cheeks turn a shade of red.

KK chuckles softly and ruffles my hair affectionately. “I do,” she mumbles.

I furrow my brows and turn to look at her. She looks back at me like whatever was about to come out of her mouth was obvious. KK and Ice glance at each other before KK opens her mouth to speak.

“Bro you have feelings for her.”

Oh?

Oh.

My mouth parts in realisation as I move my gaze from KK to the pavement. It’s just us now, sitting in silence, the sounds of passing cars and the muted sounds of the bar the only noise in the chilly evening.

“C’mon P boogers, let’s go home,” Ice says, standing up and reaching a hand down to lift me up. 

KK hops up and nods. “You need some Tru Fru,” she adds.

With a nod, I let them pull me up, following them to the car. I had feelings for Valerie. Shit. I'd just have to find a way to get over it - I couldn’t afford all this. Not right now. Not with the world watching, waiting for me to fail. Not with a national championship on the line.

-

taglist: @thaatdigitaldiary @wbbismypassion69 @bueckersfive @onlyhereforpazzi @lovegalor333 @mandyvivic @frankoceanlvr303039 @angryflowerwitch @taylynbueckers44 @mamixdanni @rosemariiaa @d3arapril @darkskinchristiandiorpostergirl @vbueckers @sageworld @makethemhoesmad @sierrale8ne @tndaqlifwy @justliketoreadsowhat

NEXT ONE WILL BE HOTTER I PROMISE

[llamaisllama777]

TSAMS THEORY: THEY'RE ALL THE SAME//TIMELOOP THEORY!

Okay, you read the title. This is probably the CRAZIEST theory I've come up with up, but please let me explain.

Okay, so in this episode of The Sun and Moon show

Dark Sun visits Foxy and is trying to help him solve his F.c. problem. This was when F.C. got that red box in his chest that absorbs negative star power, and Foxy had no idea what to do, and "Sun" shows up to offer him some support and help... ya, that's not Sun, as you can probably imagine it's Dark Sun. Dark Sun, if I remember correctly, is basically telling Foxy to get rid of the kid cause he's too dangerous, and off course, Foxy tells him no. Dark Sun make some interesting comments that got me thinking. Dark Sun kept asking hypothetical questions like: If you could go back in time and redo everything the exact same way... would you?

Kept asking time related hypotheticals, and even after 7 months, my mind does wander back to this episode and what Dark Sun said.

Someone in the comments of this video asked "Wait is Dark Sun implying they're all stuck in a timeloop and only he knows?" And that BLEW MY MIND!

It does explain a lot of things about Dark Sun

How he seems to know how everything is gonna play out

How confident he is

How smart he is

It's cause he's been through ALL this before.

He's seen it all before

He's experienced it all before

And he's learned from it all.

There is a VERY popular fan theory that Dark Sun is actually OUR Sun just from the future!

I do think that theory is true... but allow me to add to it.

DARK SUN IS SUN FROM A PREVIOUS TIMELINE

The theory is that every time THIS world ends, it gets reset (Kinda like Undertale), and everything happens all over again, maybe with one or two small differences, so it's not an exact copy but a close enough one. Dark Sun was a Sun who we know snapped and fought back against his Moon, killed him, and stole his intelligence... is what I would say if that was true. It was later revealed that Dark Sun lied about killing his Moon. We see his Moon barely alive in a cell where Ruin then puts him out of his misery. Ruin calls Dark Sun out on his lies, and Dark Sun just kinda brushes it off. He lied! He lied about killing his Moon! So, if he didn't get his intelligence, then where'd he get it? Dark Sun didn't steal it he gained it through experience. Dark Sun somehow found out he and his WHOLE WORLD IS TRAPPED IN A TIMELOOP! He probably freaked out about that for a while till he began to wonder if he could change the future, change his fate. So, he does. He becomes Dark Sun after many attempts and many timeloops and finally breaks free from the loop, but he realizes he's free, but the loop isn't over. It's still going. Just now, he's a watcher. He's on the outside looking in. He watches the loops play out over and over and over again, and it just keeps getting WORSE! Moon is still being an abusive butt to Sun, Sun still barely has anyone to support him, and they are still constantly messed with by people like Eclipse, BloodMoon, The Creator, The Astrals. It NEVER ends! Oh, sure, sometimes the loop is merciful. Maybe it gives Sun a new sibling to care for him or a new friend or heck, maybe even a kid... but it's still the same shtick! Sun even dies in some terrible ways in some of these loops! Or the siblings turn rouge and become evil. Dark Sun decided enough was enough and decided to try and break the loop once and for all, but in order to do so, he needs to intervene. He needs to start making things go his way. Pushing Nexus further to the dark side, putting things into place so Sun will lose his support system, and make it so the next few loops will have the Suns coming up on top. Basically, altering the timeloops so Sun doesn't die in 95% percent of them and instead Moon dies. (What's been happening in the show currently) Dark Sun is trying to make our Sun like him cause he believes he can't break the loop, so if you can't break it... change it. He's trying to turn Sun into another him because Dark Sun thinks becoming like him is the only way to break the loop. He's trying to make all Suns like him cause he believes he can help them.

So, that's Dark Sun's part of this.... how does Emperor Lunar and President Earth come into play?

Well, if the timeloop theory is correct, then you see what I'm saying, right? President Earth and Emperor Lunar ARE our Lunar and Earth! Just from different timelines. They're like Dark Sun sort of. They know about the loops but aren't really doing anything to intervene. Maybe they are, and we just aren't seeing it? Who knows?

Now, you might be saying Llama, Emperor Lunar, President Earth, and Dark Sun are from another dimension... not timeline... well... do we know that for sure? I mean, they say it's other universes.... but... dimensional travel is a tricky thing. Who's to say Moon when he built the portal didn't accidentally poke a hole through? Plus, other dimensions and alternate timelines are a term that's pretty interchangeable. So, what we think is an alternate dimension is actually a alternate timeline, part of a the loop.

Basically, what I'm saying is that Moon's portal is actually going in a giant circle poking through the past timelines and wrapping back around to ours and poking through ours to future ones.

Tl;DR The whole show is stuck in a timeloop, and Dark Sun, Evil Earth, and Evil Lunar are OUR Sun, Lunar, and Earth just from a previous loop and Dark Sun is trying to save all other Suns by messing with the timelines so they'll become like him and break free from the loop.

Does this theory have a lot of holes... yes. But gosh dang! Wouldn't that be something! Plus, I can see something like this happening in the show.

But hey that's just a theory...

A TSAMS THEORY!

Thanks for reading!

[onedollopofsourcream]

UPDATE 11/13/24: 0/57

PLEASE IGNORE the amount of notes as we havent had help in DAYS. My brother needs insulin as he's been out of it for nearly 3 days and will end up in the ER if he goes too long without it AND the kids especially need food.

If anyone can donate 1 dollar which btw does actually helps, it all adds up. I know this isnt important or life threatening to most people but to us it is. Please help in ur own way and imagine if this was your family. donate a dollar or reblog.

urgent food/insulin help 11/12/24

hey we need $20 for food for the week and $37 for bros insulin that he MUST take to stay out of an er? URGENT he is completely out of his insulin and important we get help for this we have nothing after paying 'rent'. We have 2 kids & 4/5 adults who r disabled we have no family/friends to rely on i know times are hard and people aren't rich. If you cant help dont worry but if you are able to d*nate all is appreciated if you do send hate, blocked.

p3ypal c3sh app v3nmo k0fi

[lilphve]

Can someone please make a discord server for all of us? Or maybe I can make one? I’ll just tag some people that I want to join to get their opinions ig😭 it just seems pretty fun and stuff that we can have like our own little server and add people and just do wtv yall don’t have to actually make one or join or anything tho no pressure!

@paranoianist @the-michaelholden13 @thetransgenderagenda @sapphicstatic-noises @emisnotfound @s0lit4ir3 @tosolv @thestarsaligne @ihrttherain @survivingmyownlife @passing-out-p1eces @starv1lle @ilikebreadbyitsself @jediwizard

AND ANYONE ELSE IM FORGETTING!

[mi-i-zori]

A Tiny World - 2

CoD - 141 x Snail (OC/Fem!Reader)

SYNOPSIS : Stardew Valley time with Snail, Gaz and Price.

Warnings : None. But please read the Author’s Note below.

Author’s Note : Snail is an OC that can be read as a Fem!Reader - I do my best no to describe her too much, but may sometimes say that she’s small (height) and has long hair.

I do not give anyone permission to re-publish and/or translate my work, be it here or on any other platform, including AI.

Aside from Animal Crossing, Snail really likes playing Stardew Valley.

Actually, scratch that. She loves it.

She bought the guide to make sure her farm is as efficient as possible. She planned it all thoroughly, from the kind she chose at the very beginning, to the animals and crops she wanted the have, where she would put them, and so on.

She’s got a part of her land fully dedicated to mystic trees associated with mushroom logs, because it wouldn’t be her farm if she didn’t make a gargantuan amount of profit based on them mushies.

The chickens, ducks and dinosaurs are all on one side of the road situated at the bottom of her farm, while the cows, goats and pigs are on the other side. All the tools she needs to make cheese, mayonnaise and dried resources are placed right next to each other, not far from the ponds. All the products she makes are close to a selling box, so she can sell everything right after collecting it.

She’s working really hard to offer tons of void mayonnaise to Kroby so she can ask them to be her roommate. For now, she’s got a cat named Mochi that’s always sleeping on her bed and proudly wears a green top hat she got on St Patrick’ Day.

Believe it or not, Price loves to watch her play. The whole setting of the game reminds him of the time he used to spend at his grandparent’s farm in the English countryside, all those years ago. He remembers helping them with all kind of crops and animals, and running across their land and the nearby village with other children his age. Good, simpler times.

He also has to admit that the way she organises her findings in the museum by colours is extremely satisfying to watch. And seeing her get all excited when she finally finds something new to add to her collection is also pretty endearing.

She also got Gaz to play too !

They help each other out with their farm - they’ve become pros at it, at this point. Both their greenhouses are filled to the brim with ancient fruits, which immediately go into an army of kegs to be brewed into wine. They make plans on how to deals with the upcoming seasons together.

They also switch consoles to help each other with the tasks they like the least. Snail isn’t really fond of going into the mines - she’d rather enjoy the rainy days and go fish and forage all around the game. Kyle, however, enjoys doing challenges into the mine more that running around trying to look for resources. So they efficiently help each other to level up and fill the chests on their farms with everything they need, sprawled on top of each other on their beds in a comfortable silence.

They rule over every single event in the game.

And they absolutely love gossiping about the characters - to the point that other soldiers on base think they’re actually saying mad shit about real people.

They don’t bother correcting them. Their confused faces as they realise they’ve been talking about marrying or divorcing three people in the same week make it all worth it.

It gets a good chuckle out of the team.

[skumhuu]

Proshipper = you're against censorship and harassment over fiction & curate your experience on the internet to have a healthy distance from things that make you uncomfortable

Antishipper = you're okay and even encourage harassment towards "freaks" and "weirdos" society deems acceptable to hurt

[travisdermotts]

HOW THE HECK DOES BASEBALL WORK? (Part 1)

Have you thought to yourself “I hate hockey, I need a sport that can break my heart every night!” OR “Who is that mustached man all my mutuals keep reblogging?” OR “I want to get into baseball but what the heck is an ERA?”? If you have, you’ve come to the right place. In this first installment of my “How the heck does baseball work?” series, I’ll be going over the basics of the game.

(if anyone needs or is interested in a PDF version of this, please DM me and I'd be happy to send it out!!)

[rip-headphones-users]

My Headcannons for how Infected and Kasper operate

Buckle up, this is a long post. Thinking about how characters function in relation to the world around them is basically a hobby of mine, so expect more. (I have others planned for both lampert and unpleasant at the very least)

(Not ship related) (angst heavy sorry)

Kasper’s infection is a brain-rooted/cognito-hazardous parasite

He got it after purposely ignoring a chainmail curse, both as a sort of “fuck around and find out” as well as an outright form of self-harm/self-sabotage.

The parasite is the one that primarily controls all the conscious actions of infected, while kasper now acts sub-consciously.

Its less of a split-mind situation and more of a Venom + Eddie or Gundam + Pilot situation they are two separate entities inhabiting the same body that can potentially act at the same time

It just so happens that the parasite from the chainmail curse has VERY similar desires/interests/motivations to Kasper, so the host/parasite relationship actually works very well.

Infected accidentally makes Kasper lose a decent chunk of weight after it takes over, due to it not being able to feel when Kasper is hungry and forgetting to let him eat

Kasper and Infected can be addressed separately (Lampert, UnpleasantGradient, Folly and maybe a few others know this) and Kasper tends to choose not to respond due to his own apathy, instead opting to let Infected take the lead.

Being able to respawn/no permadeath on the regretevator is the reason why Kasper opted to infect himself, as he saw it as the next closest thing to death/suicide.

Allowing infected to enter his mind has radically reduced Kasper’s lifespan. (He’d be lucky if he made it to his late 30’s)

His nose bleeds when Kasper and infected try to act at the same time

Infected is only transferrable via chainmail

Infected doesn’t feel any of the bodily necessities that kasper has, so its not uncommon for him to collapse of exhaustion, dehydration, hunger, ect. If someone doesn’t remind him.

Infected doesnt feel pain either

Kasper feels it though. A lot.

In fact the whole process of infected entering his mind was incredibly painful as is.

Infected isn’t the reason why things in the elevator/on his own body suddenly lose their texture, neither of them know why that happens now.

They personally aren’t physically effected by it and both find it cool, so neither are bothered.

It’s probably just the result of infected’s malware (thats only technically supposed to effect machines) managing to attach itself to a human. Or maybe Kasper could do that and never previously knew. Who knows. ;)

Kasper/infected can phase through objects that are textureless, including parts of his own body. Anything else will collide as it normally would, and take damage.

Infected will always talk with full leetspeak, (L13k D1$) while Kasper will only have one letter/number substitution (L1ke Th1s)

UG unintentionally named infected that. Basically just looked at Kasper, who had just let a parasite into his mind, and looked at the chainmail virus on his computer, and it went “huh… Bro’s Infected”

Bro is, in fact, infected.

[oloreandil]

Months and months ago I saw this post with these tags by nateriverswife (whose blogs no longer exists): "#I wonder why he corrected himself #was it to keep an emotional distance from them or something". I had a look at the surrounding chapters and thought “Wow, it’s interesting that Near uses two different types of building blocks for his castles :)”. And now here I am. Let’s talk about how Near’s use of toys parallels his state of mind and investigative methods as he solves the Kira case !

I’m tagging @neallo and @applestorms since they asked to know when this would be up ! (it's been 84 years… hello……). My deepest thanks to @peace-and-a-place-of-your-own for reading this over !

Puzzle (vol. 7 – ch. 59 + 61)

No toys during vol. 8 – ch. 65

Near first appears in the manga completely isolated and refusing contact : he doesn’t want to play with the other children at the orphanage, instead, he’s completing the same puzzle on a loop, entirely white with an L in the corner (started from the middle because it’s harder but he knows it by heart anyway. And also to flex, I assume). Roger calls him to his office with Mello to tell them that L is dead right before he can complete the letter, to really lay it thick with the symbolism.

On top of that, to highlight the dichotomy of Near as withdrawn and Mello as animated, Mello is first shown playing football outside. He says to Roger : “Unlike me, Near will calmly and unemotionally solve the puzzle”. To him, this ability to plan and not throw himself into action is Near’s best quality and something essential to being L. In French, Mello talks about self control rather than calmness, which I actually think is more accurate both to what we see and what he envies about Near. In turn, Mello’s capacity for action and his adaptability are what Near envies about Mello, but he isn’t able to argue his case and Mello refused the title of L anyway.

After the ellipsis, we see Near again when he talks to the president of the USA and the SPK members. Now that he’s no longer in a place catered to child geniuses, and especially if he’s not playing with any toys (like in ch. 65), he looks really uncomfortable : fidgeting, playing with his hair, or sitting away from the “real adults” planning the investigation. Though he’s led the Kira case since L’s death, the past 5 years have been uneventful and Near had no occasion to legitimise his claim to the succession.

House of cards (vol. 7 – ch. 61)

Matchstick towers (vol. 8 – ch 62)

Darts (vol. 8 – ch. 63 + 64)

Dice tower (vol. 8 – ch. 66)

And then… Mello kidnaps several people and shoots the Death Note into a rocket, kicking the second half of the plot into action very unexpectedly and forcing everyone to react to his plans, instead of forming their own.

Near builds increasingly elaborate towers as his counter-measures have to get more and more complex : first out of playing cards, then out of matchsticks (glued together), and finally out of dice. He starts out unsure of how to deal with the sudden public-facing role of calling the Task Force, then most of his plans go up in flames as Mello successfully steals the notebook. During the first few calls with Light, Near is trying to get a feel for what tactics to use against him and doesn’t succeed either (all of the dart he throws end up on the floor). Finally, the rest of his plans come crashing down along with his dice as the SPK members shoot themselves under the influence of Mello’s notebook. The sound of the dice falling bleeds into the sound of gunshots, which is a very neat way of integrating Near’s prop in the flow of the story and serve as a visual parallel to the bodies falling on the floor.

For the first time, Near is physically confronted to the reality that he and his team can die, and he can’t always prevent it, and it will be his fault. Mello didn’t even make them die of a heart attack, he purposefully made them take their own lives, to show Near’s who’s really in control. It’s harrowing, no matter how hard he tries to hide it – this is the most sincere emotion he’s shown so far, and the most shaken he ever looks in the manga. While he opposes the rhetoric of Kira (that you have rights over other people’s life) from the start, I think that’s when Near starts properly formulating the takedown he delivers in the warehouse.

In a really ironic turn of events, Light is the one to tell Near what he has to change : “It’s meaningless to be at each other’s throats like this… I’m not asking you to work under me, […] we should just share our information…”. Yes, this is in part an emotional decision, I don’t think Near (or most Death Note characters) enjoy seeing people die needlessly and he made an effort to accommodate the people he worked with. But this is mostly pragmatic : if collaborating gives you the best chances at adapting to the circumstances and winning, and you don’t have an ego to put first or secret goals to conceal, then that’s what you do !

Toy robots and planes (vol. 8 – ch. 67, vol. 9 – ch. 77)

Hand-carved dart, shaped like a bird (vol. 9 – ch 71)

Lego brick castle (ch. 75)

Train tracks (vol. 9 – ch. 76)

In his newfound quest for adaptability, Near is now building toys capable of movement ! He’s not quite there yet (the robot’s arm falls down when he talks to Light), but he already has a better understanding of everyone’s flaws and how they articulate in the case : Mello’s need to prove himself, Light’s ego, and his own unwillingness to take risks. Even when he builds another wall to hide behind, he quickly destroys it and keeps theorising about Light being Kira (with the hilarious reveal of the skull inside the robocop toy).

Near also starts to carefully detail each step of his plans to the SPK, using more and more representational toys. It starts very rough (like the dart he carves), like he hasn’t found the best way to translate what he is thinking into words – or words they will understand easily, and he is still separated from them by train tracks and facing the other way (until the confrontation with Mello in ch. 77). Meanwhile, Light has been spiralling since Soichiro’s death. The more he feels cornered by Near, the more secretive he becomes, even when sharing information wouldn’t threaten to reveal him. Not following his own advice makes it very, very easy for Near to contrast their behaviours and put the past 5 years of inaction into perspective for the Task Force.

Side note : the title of ch. 75 is “Reconnaissance” in French, which holds both meanings of “reconnaissance mission” and “gratefulness”. Looking out for a better path, and being grateful that you survived long enough to be able to do that !

Tarot cards (vol 9 – ch. 78)

As Near finds his footing in the investigation and develops ways of expressing himself clearly, he starts using more and more custom toys : pre-made strategies only work when you’re facing stupid or preprogrammed opponents, and in turn mass market props can only supplement his explanations for so long. He can’t leave anything to chance or fate, he has to win over both the circumstances and the players, which is really ironic since the first entirely custom prop he uses is a tarot set. Each card is Death except one for Kira which is the Devil, but Light doesn’t actually see them : the cards are visual tools entirely for the benefit of the SPK (and the reader), as opposed to provocation for Kira (in direct opposition to L’s tactics at the beginning, when he didn’t mind playing with Lind L. Tailor’s life).

Spatial base (vol 9 – ch. 79 and vol. 10 – ch. 81)

Mogi (vol. 10 – ch. 81)

Dice with skulls (vol. 10 – ch. 81 + 82 + 83)

When he and Mello team up to kidnap Mogi and interrogate him, Near is sitting in the middle of a massive spatial base launching toy spacecrafts into the air. Even though it ends with Near having to flee in a helicopter while dropping wads of cash on an angry mob, this is one of the most crucial moments for his victory. Not only does he get confirmation that Kira is the second L and plant that idea in the heads of the Task Force during his meeting with Aizawa, but he also manages to show Mello that collaborating leads to the best outcomes.

Controversially perhaps, I’m gonna add Mogi to the list of props, since faking Mogi’s death right after their escape is what coaxes Aizawa into meeting with the SPK. That’s one of the most manipulative tricks that Near pulls on the other investigators, but compared to the torture contraption that L puts Misa into or Light making people write charades before they die, Mogi bound on a chair with duct tape over his mouth feels almost cartoonish. While I am arguing here that Near is the person in power who holds the most respect for the people he is working with (or even fighting against), he still does that in ways that have the narrative weight of vicious little kids trying by all means to get their ways. That false equivalency, along with his evil frog smirks and his myriad of toys, gives a visual balance to Light making sinister faces at the camera, but the tactics are fundamentally different.

It was a gamble to trust Aizawa and Mogi with seeing his face (right as Near opens mystery dice boxes, some of which have skulls on them), but trust keeps paying off and he gets the information he wanted while still respecting their boundaries in terms of what they feel comfortable revealing : confirmation that Light is Kira. He immediately shares that information with Mello… apart from Light’s name, just to see how fast Mello figures it out. That’s about as far as Near actually engages with the idea that he and Mello are competing to catch Kira before the other, since that never seemed to be the most viable plan to him in the first place.

Motorised rubber ducks (vol. 10 – ch. 86 + 88)

Paper Tokyo tower (vol. 11 – ch. 89)

With a secure network of allies and the net closing in on Light, Near moves his headquarters to Japan, first sending Rester, Linder and Gevanni (while playing with motorised rubber ducks in a pool), before he goes there himself (announcing it while building a papercraft Tokyo Sky Tree). Even the SPK didn’t expect this move from him, which I think is the reason why he uses the NHN to tell Mello (and Light, by the same occasion). This is also the first time that SPK agents are going on extended missions outside the headquarters, with great risk since their faces will be out in the open, something Near worries about out loud several times and tries to mitigate.

Lego Kira (vol. 11 – ch. 90 + 92 + 93 + 94)

Then, Near reveals that he wants to confront Kira in person as he unboxes what is, according to HTR13, the official “NHN shooting game set (With block dolls)”. Rester comments he had to wait “hours” in line to get them, but I’m truly doubtful that in a pro-Kira world, a company would mass produce a shooting game featuring Kira’s chosen TV network, with two notebooks included and also the SPK… I'm assuming this is a retcon from HTR13, since it was written after the fact. They simply act as Near’s placeholder props while he finishes the finger puppets (they first showed up during ch. 85 and reappear in ch. 94).

In any case, the fake gun included in the set is immediately used by Near to dismiss the idea of killing Kira and his associates before the case is solved, and after that, only as a last resort. Mello, Light and Near play the same game with vastly different rules : the mafia and the Kira team have licence to kill, but Near and his allies (the SPK and the Task Force) do not. Near outright refuses to kill Light and prove his guilt after the fact, both because it would fail to morally oppose Kira, even if it were more convenient, and they have the added goal of preventing someone else from continuing Kira’s mission.

I love that Near presents this as the same reasoning L had, when the closest we get is… Light himself, during the Yotsuba arc. Poring over insane amounts of data to set up your plans, bending the rules as much as possible while never breaking them, and stopping at hard moral boundaries regardless of how much it complicates your work, that’s a far cry from L’s style. He never really considered it an investigation against Kira in all potential incarnations, as opposed to a one-on-one entertaining fight against Light.

Christmas tree decorated with various toys (vol. 11 – ch. 92)

Marbles maze (vol. 11 – ch. 95)

Ultraman figurines (vol. 11 – ch. 97)

After the interim Lego are no longer needed, the only props Near uses to talk about the case are his finger puppets. Most if not all of the other toys are just that : toys. He used them as an investigative tool, a way to talk through his plans out loud for himself and the other people that needed to follow along (and there is an arrogance in thinking they wouldn’t be able to understand him otherwise !), but ultimately, Near just likes to play. He looks and is the youngest of the cast, an even bigger reminder that most of the main characters had their childhoods stolen by expectations placed on their intellect. The many toy robots shown in Near’s last panel (ch. 108), or the insane displays in the one-shots, only highlight that he clings to that comfort in an otherwise pretty desolate life.

Handmade puppets (vol. 10 – ch. 85, vol. 11 – ch. 94 + 96 + 98, vol. 12 – ch. 100 + 101 + 103 + 104 + 105 + 106)

Mask (vol. 12 – ch. 101 + 103 + 104 + 105 + 106)

No toys during vol. 12 – ch. 107

Official puppet time ! The buglies ! One of my favourite parts of Death Note !

The first finger puppets we see are L, Kira and the second Kira while Near is looking into the real identity of the second L. The SPK puppets appear in the background of ch. 85, along with a few tools (moulds, paint…), so we know Near is hand-making puppets for everyone in the investigation. Even though Near’s own face remains protected until the final confrontation, when he knows he’s won, putting a face on every person he uses in his plans prevents them from feeling like interchangeable pawns.

L’s finger puppet is shockingly accurate, despite Near never seeing him or finding any pictures. He has, at most, descriptions from the university students who briefly saw him 6 years ago. It’s made from the same cast as Near’s puppet, but in this scene he is distancing himself once again from both the first and second L – Kira.

On the one hand, Kira is the morally corrupt enemy that managed to stall the Task Force’s investigation by infiltrating them and making them run circles around him while he carried out his plans. On the other hand, the first L was reckless and lacked foresight, showing his face to Light early in the investigation out of overconfidence. Risky moves are flashy if they pay off, but this one didn’t, erasing L and his work and setting the case back 5 years in the process. We have an echo of Near’s words in the Wammy flashback : “If you can’t beat the game […] you’re nothing more than a loser”. In comparison, Near tries to be as methodic as he can in his takedown of Kira. I also love that Near reacts very differently to Mello’s recklessness, but that’s a rabbit hole for another day.

In contrast to the others, end even though Near knows his face, Light has the only puppet which isn’t life-like. Instead, it looks like a generic (if mischievous) boy scout with a mask scribbled on. The girl scout puppet is not Misa but the concept of the second Kira – someone who kills on Light’s behalf, and therefore a counterpart to Light’s figure. According to Obata in the HTR13 interviews, it’s like Near made them look like he could have bought the puppets elsewhere, and the level of care and realism he puts into each figure directly correlates to how much he esteems the person represented (Mello’s being the most detailed). That means he deliberately chose not to afford Kira the humanity of a face, even as Misa, Takada and Mikami get realistic (-ish…) puppets. Since Near is very concerned with preventing the passing down of the notebook and motives to kill, Light, as a person, doesn’t matter in the face of his ideology. I think that’s one of the only indulgences Near allows himself in the investigation : never hiding his disgust for Kira, be it through an ugly finger puppet or mocking Light during their calls.

Near reverts back to the puppets from the customised Lego until ch. 94, only keeping the Lego notebooks (that he adds a Death Note cover to, after seeing Mikami’s notebook).

The Task Force and SPK puppets often show up when Near is talking about how to prevent Kira from killing them all or manipulating them with the Death Note : talking Aizawa out of trying to catch Kira himself, making sure Mikami doesn’t write Gevanni’s name in the notebook and win the warehouse confrontation, or kidnapping Misa so Light can’t use her as the second Kira. He has to avoid a scenario where he is the last one fighting against Kira at all costs, especially after the planned confrontation in the warehouse where he would be unable to physically protect himself.

Misa is unpredictable and dangerous in unknown proportions, so she gets a realistic but crude figure. The Task Force is well-meaning but useless and easily fooled, if Aizawa and Mogi get perfectly fine depictions, Matsuda and Ide have barely-resembling puppets (especially since Near thinks way less of them). The SPK figures, meanwhile, are very life-like and pretty flattering compared to others. Near also doesn’t use them much, but they often appear around his puppet during explanations – since they are essential parts of his plans and he is in active communication with all of them, they work as extensions of him in the outside world.

After that, we see Mikami and Takada’s puppets, now full-time actors as the second Kira. Takada’s puppet is low effort compared to most, and I should point out: Misa and her being sidelined as stupid or irrelevant pawns, even through the eyes of other characters, is one of the many sexists narratives of Death Note. Mikami’s puppet however is grotesquely detailed, with claw-like fingers and just… the most wonderful hair and grin. Could it be that in spite of Near’s utter contempt for his beliefs, he admires Mikami’s perfectly calibrated routine ? That’s certainly a lifestyle he could follow…

Quick note on the puppets : a large number of them don’t have discernable eyeballs, but those that do all have them pointed up, except Near and L who are looking straight ahead (quite vacantly). We see them mainly from Near’s level – meaning, the floor – but if you were a member of the SPK standing next to him, they would be looking up at you, with only Near's puppet avoiding your gaze, like the real one does. What a lovely and creepy detail !

For the end of vol. 11, we wait for the warehouse confrontation with barely any puppet action. That’s when we see Near play with the robots and marbles, even though we sometimes see the rest of the puppets in the background. He doesn’t have much to explain since all his plans are in place, the latency period was only necessary to make sure Gevanni doesn’t die 23 days after touching the notebook, as per the fake rule. Mello is once again the one to shake things up by kidnapping Takada and allowing Near to realise the notebook he tampered with was fake. In a single day, the puzzle pieces have to fall into place : either Gevanni manages to replace the real notebook, or Kira wins and kills them all.

Near takes all of the finger puppets to the warehouse apart from Misa : the SPK members, the Task Force, Kira (along with Takada and Mikami), and all iterations of L (himself, Mello, and L). He also wears an L mask, which Light is really upset about for completely normal nemesis-related reasons. This is the first time Light, Ryuk, Ide and Matsuda see Near and the visual aids for his explanations, and it doesn’t inspire them much trust. He looks so creepy (and in a scene where optics really matter !), surrounded by the dolls and telling them to wait for Mikami to write their names in the notebook, that even Mogi and Aizawa start to suspect Near has trapped them or is Kira himself – though they still decide to momentarily trust his judgement.

This is the final time Near has anything to demonstrate, but Light is wrong when he thinks of it as a one-on-one battle – Near isn’t solely focused on Light like L was, and monitoring Mikami so closely is actually one of the keys for his victory. But what he highlights, and what Light seems most shocked by, is that he communicated with the SPK, the Task Force, and even Mello to some extent, and that their coordination and cooperation is what allows them to win. With the L, Mello and Near dolls on his fingers, Near taunts him as he wholly demolishes whatever was left of Kira’s chances to rule the world.

After the first page of ch. 105, when Light says “That’s right. I am Kira”, there is nothing left to prove and the mask and puppets are only part of the background… except the Kira puppet, which Near crushes between his fingers after Light finally admits the truth. They don’t appear at all during ch. 107, in which Light dies, always hidden by the framing or other characters. Near basically ceases to be a character after that. We don’t see his thoughts anymore, and he speaks twice : once to reassure the others that Ryuk will not help Light by killing them, and then once more in ch. 108 to ask Aizawa for help with a drug busting operation in Japan, a year after the case.

When I first read Death Note, I was surprised how much Near fades into the background at the exact moment of Light’s downfall, but not only is his narrative role over, so is his implication in the case. Near does not have a personal attachment to Light, or to proving Light (and no one else) is Kira, no reason to gloat endlessly or question whether that case will come back to haunt him… In the two subsequent one-shots, Near deals with the new killers not as apparitions of a former enemy, but as new notebook owners, none of them even close to having Kira’s ambitions. You could say he looks depressed the same way L did during the Yotsuba arc, or the way Light did after he killed L, but I would interpret it as intense boredom and loneliness rather than sulking or obsessive sadness.

I still don't feel like I've said it all – what do I make of the two indiscernible puppets Near sets up on L’s mask, the giant L towers made of playing cards and the Ryuk head from the one-shots, I haven't even talked about precisely how Near sits on the floor while he plays – but I have to stop somewhere in my thesis and that shall be it. I would be more than delighted to hear your opinion if you’ve read this far, I hope I've demonstrated that I love talking about this !

Edit: I forgot to link this excellent post on Near by @/empressofthewind that gave me the last push to finish this !!! Required further reading, I might say !!

(dis)honourable unrelated mentions :

Mello is introduced barefoot (apparently playing football with bare grippers…) and there’s a panel of his toes clenched in fury at L’s passing. Immediately after he decides to leave L’s role to Near, he’s wearing leather boots, and this is NOT a coincidence ← average theory in a 20 year-old fandom

The French translation is immaculate. 100/10 no notes. I had so many good laughs, everyone say thank you Shinya Seto, Myloo Anhmet and Guillaume Abadie for their amazing work ! This has cemented in my mind that Ohba should switch gears to comedy, where he will undoubtedly excel

During their raid on Mello’s mafia hideout (vol. 9 – ch. 73), Light calls his father “Deputy director” until he finally corners Mello, at which point he loses all professionalism and yells “Dad, his face ? Did you see his face ?”. It’s so interesting how Kira is consistently the most childish, naive and impulsive side of Light. The worst of it comes off during the warehouse confrontation, where Light has to physically refrain himself from smirking or cackling before he’s sure he’s won, and doesn’t even manage to wait the full 40 seconds to confirm the others are dying before gloating (which he managed for L’s death…)

Mello points out that Soichiro’s hesitation to finish writing his name in the notebook is due to the fact that, in the entirety of his policeman career, he has never killed anyone. Harrowing that he dies relieved his son isn’t a murderer, because until the end, Soichiro believed that even state-sanctioned killing on the line of duty doesn’t absolve you of that crime !

Near has imo the most correct view of Kira supporters in the entire manga. When a mob swarms the SPK HQ in Kira’s name, he outlines 3 groups : genuine Kira supporters, those who got swept up by their frenzy, and people using Kira to justify acts of violence they would commit anyway. I think that parallels Kira’s journey, the inevitable end it brings Light to : sincerely held ideals of justice and a profound disgust for the way violence goes unchecked, increasingly worse justifications for his spiral of violence, and self-serving behaviour as he grapples to remain in power

Reading the interviews at the end of HTR13 is a trip. What do you mean Obata would have tried to convince Ohba to let Mello live at the end because he finds him so cool and loyal. What do you mean Obata paid special attention to apple drawings only for Ohba to tell him he didn’t think about any apple symbolism, sorry to disappoint. What do you mean they barely spoke or saw each other and Obata makes heart-eyes at Ohba so he can visit his “enchanting office, decorated western-style”. In fucking tears

To contradict my finger puppet analysis in a very funny way, O&O said in HTR13 that Near manipulating the events of the investigation, to the extent of playing with the other characters as puppets, was meant to show his “negative” and “dark” side (his dark and twisted mind, if you will). I genuinely love reading their interviews because it never fails to prove that the story you want to tell, the story that comes out of the printing press, and the story each individual reader will understand are wholly different concepts and should be treated as such

[rockpaperscissuhs]

Hispanic Heritage Month + Band of Brothers

For the last day of Hispanic Heritage Month (Sept. 15 - Oct. 15), I rolled up my sleeves to do some research on Latinos who served in Easy Company.

Here's who I found…

Antonio C. "Tony" Garcia

Here's the bio & gif set I made for him:

Ynez M. "Tito" Mendoza

Ynez was born September 22, 1925 in California. His parents, Jose and Carlota, were both born in Mexico and had immigrated to the U.S.

He enlisted in Los Angeles in January 1944, and joined Easy Company as a replacement. In October 1944, he was wounded in the lower leg by artillery, but returned to the line December 1944.

After the war, he married and had 3 children. He died on June 30, 2011 at the age of 85.

Wiliam S. "Guillermo" Metzler

William was born and raised in Naco, Arizona. His parents, Francisco and Julia, were born in Hermosillo, in the Mexican state of Sonora. They married, and later immigrated with their first two sons to Arizona, where William and his other siblings were later born.

He was living in Los Angeles when he volunteered for the U.S. Army in August 1942. He was one of the original members of Easy Company and trained at Toccoa.

He was killed in action in Normandy on June 24, 1944, at the age of 22.

Sergio G. Moya

Sergio was born on February 24, 1921, in San Francisco, California.

In February 1943, he enlisted in the U.S. Army. He was one of the original members of Easy Company and trained at Toccoa.

He was on the C-47 plane with Lt. Meehan that was shot down over Normandy by German anti-aircraft fire on June 6th, 1944 (D-Day). He died at the age of 23.

Joseph "Joe" Ramirez

Here's the bio & gif set I made for him:

[brattysubbysub]

(He/Him)

[thefrogdalorian]

Having of those moments where I wish to yeet the like button into the sun or maybe make it so there was setting you could turn on so that people can only reblog posts (even better with the minimum requirement of adding at least one tag)!!

It's kind of absurd that one of my fics is getting close to 500 notes while simultaneously being one I've had the least actual human interactions come from. Like...... come on, that's now how it should be AT ALL!

Don't get me wrong, I'm so thrilled people are clearly finding it and I guess enjoying it(??) but just having endless likes without people letting me know what they enjoyed about it or even if they liked it kind of makes me sad. That's not why I want to share my writing here!

I love having those little human connections with others. I don't ever want my writing to feel transactional. I would love to talk to more people about things I've written. It's truly one of the best feelings and I would hate to lose that, the more I write or the more notes my fics get. Please don't be shy!! I get the social anxiety, but there is no reason to be. I am truly just a Din Djarin obsessed loser.

Anyway, whine over. I don't want to focus on the negatives here and I appreciate every single person who has ever left a positive interaction with something I've written. You are truly a light!

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

people can use this site however they want but there's something almost- idk, sad? about how few people are actually using their blogs. you can turn themes on and have skeletons dancing in the background. you can make everything hot pink. your blog is your scrapbook and you can put whatever you want in there. tags are okay at organizing things so you can have just a whole archive of cool shit to look at later. i know people complain a lot about people liking stuff about reblogging for engagement, and on one hand i get that- it is WILD to see a drawing i spent hours on get only 12 reblogs and 60 likes. Absolute culture shock compared to my previous fandoms. but i don't think you should reblog anything to make artists happy. i think you should reblog things so you can find them again. i think you should queue things to appear on the dash at specific times on certain days. i think you should reblog things so when you're talking to your friends about xyz post you saw you can look in your blog's archive and find it again. i think you should reblog things so that your dash is filled with one really sleepy cat. with the loss of reblogs there's the loss of engagement, which Does hurt the community-focus that makes tumblr so appealing, but idk i just wish people were more excited about the incredible amount of customization that tumblr allows and took advantage of that more

[crancisfrozier]

Top 5 Franz Ferdinand Music Videos (as voted by me)

↳ #1 - Evil Eye

[tardis--dreams]

Feeling homicidal at work today ♡