#anti cotw

[bosooka]

What are some of your favorite Bo Katan hcs?

oh man. i have SO many bo headcanons i genuinely don't know where to begin, and also a ton of these were crowdsourced in servers and the like. uhhhhhhh? let's do chronologically i guess???

she and satine are five years apart. they were raised together for the most part, though satine, as her father's heir, got a very different upbringing than she did. bo was relatively sheltered from the reality of the civil war raging as they grew up, while satine saw wayyyy too much at a very young age.

her mother was a member of clan vizsla who married into the kryze clan. she was assassinated when bo and satine were both very very young, so they were mainly raised by their father (and many tutors)

she was sickly as a child, and satine exceeded her in every way, physically, intellectually, etc. which was terrible on bo's self-esteem, though she did eventually catch up to her sister as they got older. this one is stolen from @underworldobsessed whose twin!kryzes live in my heart forever

the sisters being separated was absolutely apocalyptic for them both and neither truly recovered emotionally from it. satine believed bo to be dead for years, and pre in turn told bo that satine was relieved to not have to worry about her anymore.

her armor was once her mother's, per @the-obiwan-for-me's headcanon

also stolen from the-obiwan-for-me, her hair was always a point of vanity for her and she kept it very very long until a fight with pre made her chop it all off

while on the subject of pre: they were in a romantic relationship for years. this is extremely foundational to how i view bo's character in general actually!! he essentially took advantage of her when she was an impressionable and traumatized young woman, and then weaponized her against her sister for fully over a decade. it was totally scummy and abusive and terrible for her and she spends years after his death processing what happened

she was very religious/spiritual when she was young and became a jaded agnostic during the imperial era. what was left of her faith was shattered by the great purge, and she partially blames mandalorian religion for dividing her people and leaving them vulnerable to destruction

she is extremely suspicious and lowkey terrified of the armorer. i know everyone thinks they're friends and i COMPLETELY disagree, every time they're onscreen together i fear for bo's life. bo knows that the alliance with the COTW completely rests on the armorer's whim and she doesn't trust it for a second.

she loves little kids, especially grogu, whom she is teaching to read

she saved some of satine's clothes when the empire destroyed mandalore. they were in korkie's possession until he also died, so now they're hers and she looks at them when she really wants to feel sorry for herself. she takes 100% responsibility for satine's death and refused the darksaber the first time on the basis of her guilt.

in general bo is just someone who is very much a product of her environment. if she had a healthier upbringing and/or less exposure to pre she would have been an entirely different person. she is intensely principled and has the same heart of gold as satine, she is just younger and significantly easier to manipulate. her biggest weakness is that she is naive!!

idk if by favorite you meant "cute" or "extremely important to how i understand her character" so i covered...well mostly the latter but i think there are some milder ones in here???

[yourlocalfandomfrickfracker]

Man oh man do I have some mixed feelings about this here latest episode of TBoBF.

I’m gonna specifically focus on my mixed feelings about Grogu’s future, because smarter people than me have already taken these last two episodes to task for sidelining the main goddamn character for plot that could and should have been saved for TM season three.

To start with the positive, it’s very, very good that Grogu is shown to have a say in whether or not he becomes a Jedi Knight; that Luke respects Grogu’s personal agency and asks our funky little fella to be honest with himself about what he wants. All too often I see the anti-Jedi clowns equate being a Jedi to being a prisoner or a slave and while there’s already so much canon evidence against this that they ignore it’s nice that the most mainstream piece of Star Wars content right now is doubling down on “being a Jedi Knight is a choice, and a choice that’s best made with serious self-reflection.”

I wish I could enjoy that in a vacuum, but...

This fandom has made it damn near impossible for me to not balk at the idea of a Jedi becoming a Mandalorian. I cannot understate how that whole concept has been soured for me. Frankly, I never liked it much to begin with, but now I can’t stand it.

Because it almost never leads to a cultural blend. 

(The Jedi are a good example of cultural blend, actually. Look at any Jedi character and you’ll see a fusion of Jedi aesthetics and the aesthetics of their homeworld. If the Jedi demanded absolute conformity, would you see Zabrak or Mirialan Jedi with tattoos, or Togruta Jedi wearing akul teeth? No, you wouldn’t. But we do.)

It almost always leads to cultural erasure.

(Because traditionalist Mandalorians, when played straight, do demand absolute conformity. Look no further than the Armorer denouncing Din’s status as a Mandalorian when he admitted to removing his helmet in front of others. The other traditional Mandos we see outside of the CotW sect aren’t as strict about helmets, but they certainly have some hardline ideas about what does or doesn’t make someone a “real” Mandalorian.)

And it almost always comes from Jedi-critical or anti-Jedi writers who want to prop up the Mandalorians as superior.

(It’s not just fanworks, either. KT had her favorite mouthpiece OC, Clown Skirata, slowly but surely bully Etain into divorcing herself from her culture, along with some post-Order 66 Jedi who had to stop being Jedi or die by Skirata’s hand. Fuck off.)

I cannot stress enough how much I don’t want any of that touching Grogu or his character arc with a ten-foot poll.

You cannot show me yet another gut-wrenching Order 66 flashback with Jedi dying to protect a frightened Jedi youngling, and then expect me to be excited about the prospect of that same Jedi youngling not reconnecting with the culture that was stolen from him by Palpatine.

Because that’s a foregone conclusion, ain’t it? There’s no real mystery here, no real “will he, wont he,” because we all know the writers are gonna have Grogu pick Din. Grogu is a big draw for the show, and status quo demands that he be right by Din’s side for season three.

(And, let’s face it, they’re not gonna let any Jedi characters we care about stick by Luke’s side, because otherwise they’d get murdered down the line by Supreme Fuckboy Kyle Ron. Swell.)

Anyway, wrapping this all up before I get too lost in the sauce: my enthusiasm for TM season three is in the critical care ward on life support, and I’m not looking forward to all the anti-Jedi Mando stans hooting about how Grogu made the “right” choice.

[thankyoukindly]

I went to college for three months and was miserable so I dropped out but it’s made me more emotional about Benton Fraser and here’s why.

Setting the scene, the first thing you need to know is my (former) college had STRICT Covid guidelines. Very strict social distancing and we were NOT allowed to go off campus and no one was allowed on so I didn’t get to see my family at all. Also, when I’m miserable, I turn anti-social so I made zero friends. Now onto the real stuff.

•I’ve never known what loneliness was till I moved away from home. But MAN was I lonely. Loneliness is an ache, it physically hurt sometimes because I missed human interaction and my family so much. Benton Fraser moved away from home and had NO family and the prospect of that after having lived it is enough to make me cry for him tbh.

•Homesickness kinda goes along with loneliness but I live in the middle of nowhere in the woods and I was suddenly thrust into city life and it was Hard™️. I now have a special hatred for concrete and street lights (they ruin the view of the stars smh) I was not emotionally stable and that caused me to literally be on the verge of tears cause I missed trees and being able to see the stars. In the finale Benton utters one line “I’m homesick” and I literally cried right there like “me too buddy” ugh, I feel all the feels for this man now.

All this being said, the joy I felt when I dropped out and went home was unmatched. And recently rewatching CoTW and Benton saying “I’m home” RESONATED! I cried yet again. Thank you for reading my long dramatic post.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW 15 - Start... can ya spot the references?

Resting his forehead against the toilet, Eren was praying for some peace. He may have slight found he'd forgotten to take his antibiotics since coming, and was now wondering if the fact he felt so sick was because of it, and not just everything happening with pup and the trial. Levi had called out softly to him when he'd left for work, then a few moments later, Eren had found himself on the bathroom floor, throwing up until his stomach physically hurt from the tightening of his muscles. When he'd felt around his bathroom drawer, instead of finding his anti-nausea pills, he'd found his antibiotics. Since Viren had grown, and his curiosity had grown, they'd had to find toddler proof ways to keep his medication out the boy's hands. He hadn't thought Levi would place his medication in there, though it was the only drawer in the whole bathroom that "locked", thanks to the tiny lock Levi had installed himself. The key kept under Levi's things in his drawer. Dry swallowing his antibiotics had only made him feel worse, and having not slept the night before left him not only feeling gross, but gross and sleepy, with the gross making the sleepy impossible. He had to testify. Levi scent had been so agitated, it'd been like his alpha wasn't on suppressants, and even if not directed at him, his omega had gone into meltdown mode, taking his stomach with it. He didn't want to testify. He didn't want to put the pups in danger, and he didn't like the fact that his stomach was flaring with pain over his distress. It meant he needed to monitor himself in case of a bleed, then potentially another trip to hospital.

Hospital. He loathed the place, yet now he was also stuck wondering if Mike knew Erwin had been called to testify. He didn't understand why he would be. They could have asked him about the note. They could have asked him about his time with Zeke, Reiner and Bertholdt. They were probably going to anyway... He already knew the moment he took the stand, he'd be judged for his swollen belly and secondary dynamic. He could probably wear the nicest and richest clothes in the world, but no one would see them. Fuck. He didn't want to remember. If he asked Krista, she'd probably let him listen to their sessions about what happened. Things he felt couldn't repeat were recorded. Things like signing were taped with a camera for Levi to watch at a later date. That was the system that worked best for him. He could get it all out, and if the time came when he was finally able to confront it, he could sit down with Levi and they could confront it together. It still blew his mind that he could have such a kind and caring alpha, who really did seem to want the best for him. Even when his world was turned upside down and everything felt like a dream. It was like the book he'd started reading to Viren, "Alice in Wonderland", where nothing was as it seemed. He wouldn't be surprised to see a hookah smoking caterpillar, or to stumble out one morning to find Titan smoking a hookah, while dishing out words of advice that left his head muddled. What a joke. Who would have thought the kid who'd lost his mum at 10, was found and betrayed by his brother, then nearly wound up dead more than once, would still be paying for that day all those years ago... it all started then, so why couldn't it have all ended there too? Fuck. Every choice his made played on a loop. All the what-ifs made it hard to feel alive. It was like the very thing that made him him, was being snuffed out from the inside out.

He just wanted it done. He just wanted to be free, and those he loved to live long happy lives.

*

Erwin was waiting for him when Levi marched into work. The man didn't even see it coming as Levi swung for his nose, staggering back, Erwin looked stunned. Around them, their coworkers at the depot stilled. Snarling, Levi bared his teeth. Wiping at his dripping nose, Erwin opened his mouth, but Levi wasn't having it. Eren had wanted to punch Erwin and that blow had been for him

"How the fuck could you!? November! You've fucking known since November! You fucking knew they wanted to put him on the stand and you said nothing! Is this some kind of fucking joke to you?! This is my fucking family!"

"Levi! What is going on here?!"

Some little shit had run to their boss, the woman standing there, looking just as shocked as Erwin had

"This piece of shit is trying to get my omega, and our children killed"

"I think you two should come to my office"

Her voice was soft and calm, trying to defuse the situation. Never in his life had Levi ever felt so betrayed

"I have nothing to say to him"

Actually, he just didn't want to listen to Erwin's voice

"Levi, you need to understand..."

"No, Erwin. You need to understand. Eren was in hospital with complications from his pregnancy and an infection. One pup has an SCT, that needs monitoring. They've already scared the fuck out of him, shoving ideas of abortion down his throat because he's an omega. He gets out of hospital, then Floch decides to show up, demanding Eren testifies... and then, we find out that you've known for months! He already lost one pup. Do you want him to miscarry? Is that it? He's at home, terrified about how this is going to affect Viren! He was talking about dying! You never said a single thing. Not once"

"Floch contacted me just after Eren miscarried. He said he was going to contact you, and I told him to wait. The timing wasn't right"

Levi scoffed openly

"And what about after that. All those lectures and shit moods of yours"

"At the time you were both grieving"

"Of course we were fucking grieving! Our relationship was on the rocks and Eren was so sure that I was going to leave him, he was going to down abortion pills and tell me nothing about it! But you know what, we started getting through it, and you still kept your mouth shut. You had so many chances. I have never, ever, been as disappointed in you as I am now"

[forgottenbones]

COTW - ANTI TEEN SMOKING ADS

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 2x07-- Day 450

Recap under the cut!

Big things, of the secret variety, are happening at LG. The conference room’s walls are covered; NDAs are laid out on the table. There is also one big, comfy looking chair in the conference room, looking out of place amid all the standard office chairs.

Lucca’s the first to ask what’s going on. Marissa isn’t sure—it’s top secret; all she knows is that the partners’ schedules have all been cleared.

“Have you seen this?” Marissa changes the subject. “Chicago lawyer playing cards.” “What?” Lucca asks. “Most wanted playing cards. They already have the four dead lawyers,” Marissa explains. The website peddling these cards? Is in Comic Sans. Thank you, whoever made that choice. I’m guessing you did it intentionally and I appreciate it. It’s an alt-right website, Marissa says. “What are you doing looking at an alt-right website?” Maia asks. “I look at everything,” Marissa states. I don’t think it’s that weird! Weren’t they just on a case about belonging to radical groups online?

Lucca wants to know if any of the RBL lawyers are in there. Marissa says she’s going to order a deck and find out. Maia’s appalled at the thought of giving this group money (tbh I am too).

Maia asks what’s going on in the conference room, and Marissa shrugs and says, “The ways of the partners are mysterious to us mere mortals.” Have I mentioned that I love it when we can see the power structures at work? Because I do.

Marissa tries to get information out of Diane—even how long the meeting will last—but Diane doesn’t say anything.

Luckily for us, we’re viewers and not employees, so we get to know what’s happening. It’s an audition for the DNC’s business, conducted by Ruth Eastman. I didn’t expect to see Ruth back on the show, ever, after how badly the writers botched her season seven arc (so much promise squandered!) But here she is. And she’s used much more effectively in this episode.

While I’m thinking of it, the promo for this episode was in Russian, but nothing in the COTW (aside from a few mentions of collusion) is about Russia. So… was the entire promo a shout-out to the TGW/F/The Americans fans? It wouldn’t be the first time. And I’ll take it.

“We’re in a very peculiar time,” Ruth says. Diane laughs, because a good 25% of Diane’s dialogue these days is just laughter. Ruth isn’t bothered: she says laughing is the “only sane reaction these days.” Diane agrees wholeheartedly. “We’re living in a time of farce, not tragedy,” the writers have Ruth explain. (I phrase it like that because, come on, that’s exactly the point of this season’s tone.)

Ruth is there with an interesting opportunity: the DNC wants a plan to impeach 45 ready to go if a blue wave happens in November, and so they’re auditioning law firms to decide which arguments (and which lawyers) will be the most effective. For now, this all has to stay hush hush, lest voters get the idea that a vote for a Democrat is a vote for impeachment and get scared off.

After some build up, Ruth turns to write on a white board. The marker doesn’t work. “New!” she says, pleasantly, discarding it. She starts the build up again: “This is the question we want you to ponder and answer…” But the next marker doesn’t work either. “WELL, SHIT!” she says angrily, throwing the marker to the floor. This is the best thing Ruth has done on this show.

Carine, a woman on Ruth’s team, volunteers to get more markers. Ruth keeps going with her spiel.

Carine grabs the nearest employee, who happens to be Maia, and asks where the black markers are. They flirt/banter on their way to the supply closet, and Carine thinks Maia looks familiar. Maia deflects the question and shows Carine the markers (they only have pink and purple, because it’s funnier that way).

“Seriously, I know you from somewhere. Where?” Carine insists. Maia thinks for a minute. “Okay, so you know how we just had a little exchange back there and I made you smile, you made me smile?” “Yes, I remember.” “Well, remember that when I tell you who I am,” Maia says. I wonder how many times she’s used (or will use) that line.

“Are you a serial killer?” Carine jokes. “Oh, close. Maia Rindell,” Maia introduces herself. Hee.

Carine recognizes that name. Maia walks away to avoid prolonging the awkwardness, but Carine isn’t as put off as Maia assumes…

Meanwhile, Lucca is working on a case about a film shoot when she notices Francesca walking down the stairs. She excuses herself from a meeting, and her client assumes it’s because she has to pee. His pregnant wife always has to pee, so he feels it is his place to inquire about Lucca’s bathroom habits. No matter how many times Lucca says she doesn’t have to go to the bathroom, the client won’t believe her.

Maia greets Francesca. Lawyer, professional greeter, same diff.

Francesca has brought Lucca a present, and Lucca asks Maia to go deal with her client (“and tell him I’m not going to the bathroom”). I have a question! If Lucca could spot Francesca from the room she and the client were sitting in, can’t the client see that Lucca is by the stairs and not, in fact, in the bathroom? ANYWAY. Maia’s job in this episode consists of knowing where markers are kept, greeting visitors, and informing Lucca’s clients she’s not in the bathroom. Is… there no work for Maia to do? Should I be concerned about RBK’s future? Are they overstaffed?! WHY DOESN’T MAIA DO WORK?

“Very nice meeting you. I think your dad stole some of my husband’s money,” Francesca tells Maia. Ok, People Recognizing Maia is my new favorite running gag. “Sorry,” Maia apologizes. “That’s a good thing. He’s an asshole,” Francesca says, emphasizing asshole. She’s so fun.

In Lucca’s office, Francesca tells her that she’s given up drinking, except wine. Well. That’s… something, I guess?

Francesca’s gift is a stuffed dog that sings “If You’re Happy and You Know It” and claps its hands and waves its ears. It is adorable and grating. “For my grandchild,” Francesca says, touching Lucca’s stomach. Why do people just go and touch pregnant women’s stomachs without asking if they can? I have never understood this.

Over the course of this whole scene, the dog’s flapping ears are visible, at least in part. It is wonderful and distracting and the only thing that could make it more Good is if they were in an elevator.

Even rewatching this scene, with captions on, I cannot see anything other than the dog and its ears. I think Francesca is saying she wants to be in the baby’s life and Lucca’s saying she doesn’t want Francesca involved. But I don’t know. Because ears.

After Francesca leaves, Lucca immediately moves to discard the dog. Francesca doubles back and almost catches Lucca in the act, but the second she turns around again, Lucca shoves the dog in a drawer.

“People understand emoluments,” Adrian is saying when we return to the conference room. They do? By that name? ‘Cause I just had to spell-check that word (even though I know what it means). I’m joking, because I think what Adrian means is that people understand the idea behind it. Still, a weird sentence.

Julius is opposed to the whole idea. He thinks the Dems are starting with the goal and working backwards. Some other partner wants to go after collusion. And Diane wants to go for obstruction, because of the precedents. (And the fact that there are so many paths that could make a good case is why I disagree with Julius. Maybe they’re starting with the goal, but how much does that matter if there are many valid reasons for having that goal? But then, I guess Julius would take issue with my use of “valid”…)

Adrian is against what Andre (the other partner) wants to pursue: collusion. He thinks it has too many Russian names for the public to understand it. Adrian’s whole strategy here is to find the argument that will be the easiest to sell.

Diane is so fired up about this, and I love it. (I also think she’s making the best case.)

“He’s not above the law!!” Diane exclaims. Nobody’s above the law! (Sing it with me!)

Julius won’t quit with these silly arguments. Now he’s comparing Republicans wanting to impeach Obama to what’s going on here. I don’t think it’s just my political bias speaking when I say that’s ABSURD.

Julius’s whole thing is that 45 was voted into office so he shouldn’t be impeached and then removed from office. So… Julius is anti-the concept of impeachment? I think his argument is a little more nuanced than that and he’s making the better case: that impeachment isn’t a tool for political parties that didn’t get their way. I’ll spare y’all my half-informed political rants and instead make this point: I appreciate that even Julius’s points have some validity to them. Too often, this show simplifies these arguments or handles them poorly, and this episode… does a pretty good job.

Ruth steps out for a minute, and reminds RBL of their mission: to choose a strategy, something that will stick the way emails stuck to HRC. (Don’t remind me!! Those goddamn emails.)

With Ruth out of the room, Adrian tries to get Julius to stop losing them a client. Julius says he’ll play devil’s advocate. Then Adrian tries to get Liz to speak up. She’s been watching and taking everything in.

Ruth takes a call about “Barnsdale. Illinois 1st.” She asks Lucca if she can use some random office, and commandeers it before Lucca can respond. She picked a bad office to have a private conversation in, though, because it’s one of the ones with the angled glass walls. These offices—which I’ve been wondering about for WEEKS because they don’t seem the slightest bit private—have gaps in the windows and it seems like (and turns out to be the case that) someone in the hallway would be able to hear every word said inside of the office.

And it just so happens that Lucca overhears the exact conversation she needs to overhear: a Congressman up for reelection is being asked—well, more like told—by the DNC that he can’t run again because he’s a groper. Lucca recognizes what this means: it’s the district Colin was thinking of running in.

So Lucca does what all Good characters would do: distracts Colin at work with her presence until he forgets what he’s talking about, then walks away.

Colin’s first thought is that something happened with the genetic screening. Lucca says it’s not that; it’s about his mother. “I didn’t want to run; my parents wanted me to run,” Colin says when Lucca asks him about the Illinois 1st. “Oh, so you’re not running?” Lucca counters. And Colin? Can’t answer that definitively.

Colin says he won’t run if he has to campaign, but if all he has to do is get the support of the DNC, he’ll run. Uh huh.

Lucca’s fear is that she’s being used for political gain. It’ll look better if she and Colin are together. Colin tries to keep Lucca out of it, even going so far as to say Lucca can tell his mother to “fuck off,” but… you don’t have to watch the rest of the episode to understand that’s never going to happen.

Then Colin asks about the genetic testing. Lucca says, “Oh, everything’s… good.” Colin mentions a family history. Does anyone else feel like she might be hiding something here? This is a weird scene. She’s already said the baby’s fine, yet they have her double back for this conversation AND they mention Colin’s family history? It would not shock me if Lucca was waiting on some test results and keeping it to herself. But also, like, I have seen this show and it would surprise me even less if we never heard about this again.

I may have to take back what I just said about Julius, sadly. Diane makes the more nuanced point I extrapolated from Julius’s words and Julius tries to rebut it. So. Whatever. It’s in early scene cross-talk (you know, the lines that aren’t meant to make a point but are rather meant to show you that there’s heated debate, so you can jump in mid-scene and it won’t feel awkward), and I’ve heard weirder things (like Alicia explaining why we don’t need female politicians in 220, a line I don’t think I was supposed to notice because I was supposed to be paying attention to her poise and the ease of her answers) in early scene cross-talk.

This audition doesn’t seem to be going well. That’s when Liz speaks up. She starts talking about some evidence that came across her desk at the DOJ. At first, I thought the writers were trying to introduce new facts into their hypothetical, and I was disappointed. But that’s not what they’re up to. Instead, they’re having Liz tell an increasingly elaborate, and possibly not baseless (would ANY of you be surprised if pieces of evidence similar to the ones Liz invents actually existed?) story to prove her point. Liz is demonstrating that the story keeps changing. “You’re all missing the point! It’s not about choosing one charge or another for impeachment. It’s about everything. It’s about who he is. It’s about what the presidency is. Charging him with obstruction, that’s going by the old rules. And the new rules are these. ‘I have a tape.’ ‘Where’s the tape?’ ’15-year-old was raped, and I’ve got the evidence.’ ‘Where’s the evidence?’ ‘Same place as the tape.’”

Diane laughs. “My God, this is insane!” Julius replies.

“No, no no no. This is shameless,” Liz clarifies. “And impeachment has to be shameless, or else it’s gonna fail.”

“So. You lie,” Julius accuses.

“No, no no no no no. You just don’t back down,” Liz says. “But there is no tape!!” Julius says. “Uh-uh. That’s what you said. I didn’t say that,” Liz argues. God, that’s what reading the news today feels like. Like logic and facts are no longer persuasive.

“Listen. This isn’t about truth anymore. And it’s not about lying. It’s about who’s backtracking, and who’s attacking,” Liz concludes. I don’t know what to think, and I love that. Liz’s approach is outlandish. It’s also convincing. And it’s maddening. These things should be based on facts. And yet!

I love that I can agree with Liz and think her point is absurd/laughable at the same time. I love that the show is able to capture the way that laughable and strategic can be the same today. It’s super effective.

When Ruth leaves for the day, Adrian immediately begins talking down to Liz in front of all of the partners. “Liz. Liz, Liz, Liz, what the fuck are you doing?!” I do not like this side of Adrian, especially when Liz is (obviously) being strategic and novel.

And also effective! Ruth tells her colleagues at the DNC that ���we might have something here.”

Aaaand, credits. Another female writer this week! She wrote an ep last season too. And she’s great: I spent 17 minutes convinced the Kings had written this one because she captured the tone and the big moments so well. Also, I just googled her (her name’s Tegan Shohet) and she has a really fucking impressive resume. She did her undergrad at Harvard, has a law degree from Yale, and she has another degree from Oxford.

Maia and Amy (hello, Amy!) are kissing at a bar after the credits end. They’re out on a double date with Marissa and Drew, the guy from the ricin scare. Drew has this look in his eyes like he’s on something. I don’t like it one bit.

He and Marissa start making out mid-conversation. It’s almost aggressive, and not like Amy and Maia’s kiss just moments ago. Part of that is, I think, that we’re supposed to see Amy and Maia as a bit passionless right now, but it also seems… weird. Something is up with this dude. I don’t trust him.

But I would rather watch him and Marissa making out than hear Amy and Maia state “facts” that screw up the timeline!!!!!!!!!!! LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU WITH YOUR “WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR FOUR YEARS” BUSINESS WHEN I LITERALLY WATCHED YOU MEET AT MAIA’S 18TH BIRTHDAY PARTY; I’M BUSY WATCHING THIS AWFUL DUDE STICK HIS TOUNGE IN MARISSA’S MOUTH.

Drew also has no filter. Oh, and then he gets up at hits someone, claiming they took an upskirt of Marissa. But before that happens…

Amy and Maia are talking about getting married! And we didn’t get to see how they smoothed things over after 2x02? What a shock…

(Well, also, I feel like this ep pretty strongly suggests they didn’t really work through that.)

Seriously though, what the hell is Drew doing? What is his deal?

Marissa, who believes someone took an upskirt photo of her, reacts to Drew’s actions as though he’s a hero. She rewards him with a kiss. That makes Maia smile, because… I don’t really know. It makes Amy roll her eyes. Can we have Amy as a regular and not Maia?

“We need to toast your news!” Marissa says, making plans for the second consecutive weeknight. “Our news?” Amy wonders. OOOOOF. That relationship cannot be in a good place.

Maia seems kind of… turned on? By Drew and Marissa.

Amy doesn’t believe that the dude in the bar was actually trying to take an upskirt. Amy thinks Drew just wanted to hit someone. I agree with Amy here.

Amy then asks if they have to see them again. Maia says that Marissa’s a friend. 

Amy tells Maia to talk to Marissa because people like Drew can be “dangerous in a relationship.” I had that same thought just from the way he was kissing her in public (it seemed quite possessive). And you know what I don’t need? For another investigator on this show to end up in an abusive relationship.

(That said, this is MILES better than any Kalinda/Nick bullshit.)

Now cameras are being installed in the conference room.

Marissa clearly stayed out for several more hours after Maia and Amy headed home. She’s wearing sunglasses at her desk and can barely answer questions. That’s also a big warning sign. Marissa’s hungover at work. It’s not a pattern yet, but I’d hate to see it become one.

Lucca meets with some partners about her client, Lock. She wants to give them a heads-up, but it seems he’s already left the firm because of Lucca’s pregnancy. Well, he said her “mood swings,” but lol.

Even Liz, who’s very understanding, is inclined to believe the client. Every time Lucca tries to defend herself, someone tries to comfort her or calm her or tells her not to get upset. I love Cush’s delivery of the line, “I’m not getting upset…” because she says it with just a hint of confusion. She doesn’t sound upset (at least not unreasonably so). She sounds like someone who’s slowly realizing that no one will take her words seriously as long as she’s pregnant.

Every time Lucca tries to take action, the partners shut her down and offer to help. It’s just weird. I can’t speak to whether or not it’s realistic because I’ve never been pregnant, nor do I work at a law firm managed mostly by non-parents (or any sort of law firm, for that matter), but it feels like it’s realistic. It’s subtle and the partners are encouraging, but they are making assumptions about Lucca’s work performance and capabilities based on the fact she’s having a baby.

Ruth appears! RBL is now one of four! Naturally Adrian believes this is because of what he and Diane were saying, and not because of anything Liz said. He believes this so strongly he calls Liz aside to give her an order. “No more shit Liz, okay?” He says like she’s a child (a child with a potty-mouth, I guess). She calls him on it. “Adrian, when did you get the impression that you could order me around?” He denies it, and Liz goes STRAIGHT to talking about their marriage. The teacher who married his student for her ties in the legal world CONDESCENDED TO HER? I’m just shocked. (Lol no, this is how I have been picturing their marriage for a few weeks now.)

Adrian asks Liz again to get behind the obstruction charge (Diane’s idea) so they can seem united. She says she’ll consider it.

I wonder if the reason Adrian can’t see that Liz has a plan, and that her plan is working, is that he’s so used to underestimating her.

Adrian and even Julius get behind Diane’s plan. It’s so transparent that they’re trying to show they’re united. “Now, we may disagree, but we find consensus,” Adrian explains. LULZ.

As soon as Adrian says “consensus” and Julius echoes it, Diane announces she’s changed her mind and now sides with Liz. This surprises even Liz! Ooh, will we get more on the Diane/Liz tension?

“I’m tired of ‘when they go low, we go high.’ Fuck that! When they go low, we go lower. Impeachment isn’t just about the law. It’s about persuading people. And if it’s one thing that we’ve seen this past year, it’s that lies… persuade. Truth only takes you that far… and then you need lies.” Guys, I’m seriously terrified by how much I understand this. Even the fact that my first reaction upon hearing this was, “she has a point” and not, “what??? That’s a lie!” scares me. When TGW was airing, I wouldn’t have believed that Diane would ever say this. And I wouldn’t have believed that would be my reaction. But, then, I also wouldn’t have believed this country would elect Donald Trump. What I’m saying is that regardless of whether this is a good strategy or not, or if it’s morally sound, or hypocritical, the way that it’s not easy to dismiss or laugh at is… the point.

Julius calls this “Trump Derangement Syndrome.” “You’re just as bad as you’re accusing him of being,” he explains. ACCUSING? Come on, Julius. If you think the word “alleged” would need to be in a sentence that calls him a liar…

Anyway. Another thing I love about Diane’s speech is that it’s coming both from a character place AND a political place. The next part of her rant makes this point well: “I’m just done with being the adult in the room. I am done with being the compliant and sensible one. Standing stoically by while the other side picks my pockets, while the other side gerrymanders Democrats out of existence. A three million person majority and we lost the presidency. A Congress that keeps a Supreme Court justice from being seated because he was chosen by a Democratic president.”

(I am gonna keep going on this but LOL Julius what planet do you live on where that’s not what happened? FACTUALLY THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.)

Diane has always been the adult in the room. That’s a role she’s fantastic at playing, and she loves it. And now she’s tired of it?! That can’t just be because of Trump. That’s what someone who lost her best friend, lost her husband, lost her money, lost her clout, watched her candidate lose an election, and, finally, felt and still feels like there’s a target on her back would say. Why should she be the one to hold things together when everything else is falling apart? What’s the point of acting like the rules still apply?

Julius says some nonsense about how if Diane really believes that, she’s lost all faith in the law. To which Diane replies that she has a gun in her desk “and I’m this close to taking to the streets.” That, my friends, is someone who is all of the things I said above, and also on drugs, would say. And somehow, that person is… Diane Lockhart.

(And weirdly, while I can’t say it’s necessarily the direction I want to see the writers take Diane, I can’t honestly say it’s out of character. Terrifying, right?)

IT DID NOT CATCH MY ATTENTION THE FIRST TIME THROUGH BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT MAIA IS DOING AT WORK? CHECKING TWITTER. (I mean, I check Twitter at work. I’m sure most people check their phones at work. You could catch the most productive employee on Twitter at work. But somehow we have endless amounts of time to show Maia not working and no time to show Maia working.)

Carine is back, to tell Maia about her own father. He was a disgraced senator, so she’s part of the “damaged offspring club��� too. Hey, where are Zach and Grace? Is Zach still in Paris (lol) with his wife (hahahaha) writing his memoir (bwahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha)? How’s college treating Grace? ANYWAY. NOT THE POINT.

The point is that Carine and Maia are making a connection.

Also that in one scene, Maia manages to: Surf Twitter on her work laptop, flirt, and make plans to go drinking. Writers, come on. Throw me a bone. Give Maia work to do. (Two of these things are not her fault—Carine and Marissa come over to talk to her—but still!)

Marissa pops by to invite Maia to go out dancing at 10 pm on a work night. Maia turns it down initially, but then says maybe. What does she have to lose? She could show up hungover the next day and it wouldn’t matter. IT’S NOT LIKE SHE HAS ANY WORK TO DO!!!!!!

When Marissa leaves, she’s all “luv uuuuuu” (that is my approximation of the tone) and Maia quietly whispers back “love you.” Am I supposed to be getting the feeling that Maia’s crushing on Marissa? She also smiles a little after Marissa walks away.

“There’s a tweet I think you should see,” Maia informs Lucca. Lucca asks if it’s about work (of course it isn’t; that would require Maia to be working NO I WON’T STOP) and it’s about Colin’s campaign. Specifically, a horribly racist tweet about how he got a “black girl” pregnant (“hashtag Sally Hemmings”)

“So I’m a black girl. A black, pregnant, plantation girl,” Lucca responds. Maia is like “I don’t think it implies that” which, I mean, I buy Maia holding that opinion because it would mean she is super privileged, white, and didn’t pay attention in history class and you KNOW I would believe all of those things. But also, it’s a mean tweet that refers to Lucca as “a black girl.” Why would Maia even want to defend that?

Lucca’s TRENDING too. I wish Lucca would trend. Not for this. I mean publicity for the show.

Also trending is Earth Day. Wanna know something fun about Earth Day? It is in April. Specifically it’s April 22nd (which is a Sunday and the day of the next episode, but I will ignore that because it’s close enough and Earth Day could be trending in advance). Lucca is due in May. She is four months pregnant. WHAT MONTH IS IT, SHOW?

Maia accidentally kicks a drawer under Lucca’s desk and it begins to sing. “What is that?” she asks. “It’s a dog,” Lucca replies, as though that explains anything.

Lucca furiously begins to type—to Tweet! This is a bad idea. Has Twitter ever been a good idea on this show when it was controlled by anyone other than Eli or Marissa Gold? (No.)

Lucca (@lquinn) has fired off a reply tweet (“I’m the black woman having Colin Morello’s baby and my name is Lucca Quinn. Did Sally Hemmings have a law degree? #MoreLikeMichelle”) that is snarky and probably misguided, especially since it’s a trap laid by Colin’s campaign manager NotEli. (He isn’t getting a name.)

More bickering, verging on nervous breakdowns, are happening on the DNC live feed. The juiciest live feed since the NSA was listening to Alicia? Anyway.

“I’ve spend the last few months feeling fucking deranged! Like I’m living in some bad reality show! Going numb! All Trump, all the time! What’s real? What’s fake? Well, you know what? I just woke up,” Diane yells. And by yells, I mean yells. Damn.

Liz takes Ruth outside to try to get her to get Julius out of the audition. Liz always has some kind of plan.

Later, Adrian walks into Diane’s office, concerned. “I have never been more all right,” Diane says. U SURE? Did you just take a hit of something? Adrian asks how much of this is show and Diane is like, it’s a show!

Adrian wants to know about the gun in her desk. Yeah, I feel like that’s a valid concern, given that there is a GUN IN HIS WORKPLACE. Not only is that probably illegal but it’s also a hazard.

Marissa brings more bad news: the Chicago lawyer playing card deck, and we get to hear a few of the names in it. David Lee (IS ANYONE SURPRISED?). Patti Nyholm (Ditto). Laura Hellinger. WAIT WHAT? LAURA HELLINGER IS THE SWEETEST. (Can you tell I just rewatched season 4?) What is there to hate about Laura Hellinger!? Why bring her name, of all the names, into this?!

The partners decide to ignore it for now—why give it more attention?—but Adrian, Liz, and Diane are all in the deck. Damn.

Upon seeing her own face on a card, Diane says, “To answer your question, Adrian, yes, I have a gun in my desk.”

It’s at that moment Ruth interrupts to ask Julius not to join the RBL team for the remainder of the audition. Julius, after hearing he’s out, flips off the other partners. Professional. Though I can’t really criticize him, because it’s not like anyone else is being professional.

Maia tries to convince Amy to go to the dance club with her. Amy has a trial starting the next day and she doesn’t want to go, so it’s an impossible sell. Maia makes a bogus excuse: she thinks she should go so as not to be impolite. To Marissa. She sees. Marissa. Every. Day. She and Marissa are friends. It is not impolite to say no to going to a dance club at 10 pm on a work night with someone you went out with the night before. This is an excuse. Maia wants to go out; Amy doesn’t. So Maia’s looking for any reason she can find to go out.

Maia also misses a crucial detail—that Amy’s trial starts tomorrow so there’s no reason to wish her good luck now. This seemed weird the first time through, but then I realized: Maia and Amy live together. And that’s the kind of comment you make to someone you’re not going to see for a little while.

Lock wants Lucca to be his lawyer again. Lucca suspects that Maia might have called him (no that would involve Maia taking initiative so it’s unlikely). But no. The answer is that he’s on Twitter. And that’s when Lucca realizes that she has power.

She shows up at Colin’s door. “I’m not gonna marry you. I’m not gonna pretend otherwise. I’m not gonna lie, I’m not gonna mislead, and I’m not gonna be the woman who stands by your side. I’m the mother of your child, a close friend of yours, and a registered voter in the 1st Congressional District of Illinois. You want my support, you’re gonna agree to my terms,” she demands.

She goes on: she will do one appearance a month, issue a statement, and do interviews. Damn. Colin didn’t even have to negotiate for that.

Francesca is also at Colin’s house. So is NotEli, whose first words to Lucca are “Wow, that’s pregnant.” Off to a great start!

NotEli’s name is Stephen Rankin-Hall. I will continue to call him NotEli.

Now we get some exposition about the campaign. We’re actually doing this. The writers wrote Alicia out and found a way to bring campaigns back.

More deliberations in the conference room. The DNC is watching in real time, and they’re missing the fire of the deliberations with Julius. Using all the coded language in the world, Ruth requests that RBL show their “more pugnacious attitude.”

As soon as she leaves, the partners prove they got the message loud and clear. “They want us to be street,” Liz says, with a trace of anger. No one’s thrilled about it, but they’re all willing to play along. “I will be the angry black woman,” Liz decides. “And you can be Black Lives Matter,” she says to Adrian. (He chuckles.) “What about me?” Diane wonders. “You keep us calmed. But we can’t be calmed. But you’re the white conscience,” Liz says. LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL.

And back to the conference room they go, playing their roles perfectly until they’re screaming at each other about how fantastic Ta-Nehisi Coates is. It’s hilarious. And it piggy-backs off of the point the show made last week: there are certain roles that even (especially) those who call themselves progressives expect people to play based on their race. Diane’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown and she gets to be the conscience because she’s a classy white lady. Liz and Adrian have been strategic throughout all of this and they’re understood when they play up their anger in a very specific, stereotypical way.

(I don’t know that this strategy actually works in the context of the show, since we know that Liz and only Liz is chosen, and I’m going to guess her initial idea helped her more than this show. Even still. The firm is flat out told by the DNC that they will do better when they fit into an easy, familiar (racist) narrative.)

Liz and Adrian sit together in his office after their performance. “I never know how far is too far,” Adrian says. “At least you’ve reached a point in your life where you can admit it,” Liz says. That’s pointed.

Just want to take a moment to say I’m very happy with the addition of Liz. She’s fascinating, Audra’s fantastic, and I can tell so much about Liz from even the tiniest moments. Also, usually characters who are as sneaky as she is towards the other regulars come off as villains. That’s not how Liz comes off, and she was literally introduced as Alicia’s biggest rival and reintroduced as someone who made a move against Diane.

Maia invites Lucca out dancing. She’s going to turn it down anyway, but then Colin, Francesca, and NotEli show up and she has a good excuse not to go.

NotEli and Francesca want Colin and Lucca to get their story straight. “Look, we’re not expecting you to be the good little wife or girlfriend. That’s the old playbook. It stopped working in 2016,” NotEli says. Oh for fuck’s sake. You can’t just add the word “little” in there and distract me from the fact you are talking about Alicia.

But this line reminds me of two things that I’ve been thinking about lately. The first is that the Good Wife narrative really isn’t timely anymore. It certainly was in 2008. It even was in 2011 when I started watching. But now? Who cares? A dude abuses his office, and now, I think, the media is more likely to wonder about what woman is going to run for his seat than about whether or not his wife will stand by his side. Well, either that happens or absolutely nothing happens and millions of people think it’s perfectly okay to have a president who makes comments about “grabbing women by the pussy.” Either way: it’s not the narrative that fascinates people (or the media) today. And if you’re not caught in the middle of a scandal? It’s even less essential. “Family values” haven’t totally disappeared from politics by any means, but this isn’t 2008.

The other thing this line reminds me of is that, well, I fucking miss Alicia Florrick. It may be accurate to say that “the good little wife” is the old playbook. It’s been on the way out for a while now, so it’s only semi-accurate to say it stopped working in 2016. It is, however, accurate to say that The Good Wife ended in 2016. I like the idea of revisiting these themes, in a very different world, with a very different character. What I don’t like as much is that every time I see Lucca get pulled into situations that very, very few people would understand, I can’t help but want her to call up her close friend who’s lived through it. There are very few other moments when I long for Alicia to be on this show. And I still don’t, really, want her to make a guest appearance. But I want Lucca to have a friend. I want Lucca to have that friendship. And I can’t believe that Lucca and Alicia had a falling out, off screen, big enough that Lucca wouldn’t have reached out to Alicia for advice. If they’re not going to give me Alicia, can they at least stop teasing me?

(“Good little wife”? TEASE.)

Anyway I love how blunt Lucca is. For some reason, NotEli believes Lucca and Colin will be asked where their child was conceived, and he also believes this is a question they should answer. Colin starts to answer, saying things got intense when they were on opposite sides. Lucca jumps in and bluntly says, “So we worked through all that tension by fucking in the courthouse restroom.”

NotEli and Francesca stare at her and Francesca laughs, thinking (hoping) Lucca’s joking. But she’s not done. “It was a family restroom, so we locked the door,” she adds. NotEli says maybe they’ll have to massage this a little. Or you could, like, not talk about where you fucked?

And then the toy dog starts to sing, because of course. (It’s less effective this time.)

Now we’re at the club with Marissa and Maia. Maia’s theme song is playing. Seriously, just read these lyrics: “I clock out my 9:00 to 5:00. I’m ready for the weekend to bring me back to life. Don’t live to work, I work to live.” See?! It’s Maia’s song! Working normal hours (in a profession notorious for requiring long hours) and viewing a job as a chore and not something she’s passionate about!

MAIA IS SO AWKWARD, BUT SHE IS ALSO SO COMMITTED TO ACTUALLY TRYING TO DANCE.

(As you might expect, Marissa is not at all awkward.)

Carine appears at the bar when Maia goes to get a drink! They start talking about their fathers until Maia’s like, “Do you really want to talk about this?” and Carine says no. And then Maia says she wants to dance, so they start dancing. And they get pretty into it.

A little later in the evening, Maia and Marissa talk at a table. Marissa has her arm around Maia. “Am I boring?” Maia asks. You want me to answer that, Maia? You are, and it’s not because you have a stable relationship. I actually find that interesting. ANYWAY. In the world of the show, Maia is worried she’s boring because she’s in a long-term relationship.

Marissa calls Maia a “fucking ninja.”

“I feel like I’m cheating,” Maia worries. “You’re dancing. Or do you mean with me? Because I’m ready for anything,” Marissa responds. Is Marissa saying she’s bi? Or is she joking? Or just drunk? I feel like we may see more on this front. But maybe not.

Oh my God. I have accidentally paused the screen on the most awful drunk!Maia face and I’m not going to post it because I’m not cruel.

“What do you want?” Marissa asks. “I don’t know. Sometimes I want stability. Sometimes I don’t,” Maia answers. Hmmm. Much as I would love to see Maia in a committed relationship, what I would love even more is an arc where Maia, whose life had been very stable up until the scandal, realize that actually, maybe she doesn’t need to follow the easiest, most stable path. Maybe she’d rather be single, or with someone else, at this stage in her life. Wanting stability is a very Alicia thing. It doesn’t have to be a Maia thing, too.

(Nope, I will not turn this into a backdoor way to talk about Alicia and her priorities. I am tempted, but I will resist the temptation.)

Marissa just asks Maia wants right now and Maia says, “That’s the question.” Marissa tells her to go dance, but Maia decides to leave instead.

Maia also tells Marissa that Drew is “great.” I am on Amy’s side here…

Carine finds Maia outside and starts to say goodbye when… Maia kisses her. In the middle of the street. Carine kisses her back. And then they get in an Uber together and make out. Nice, Maia.

I don’t have strong feelings on Maia cheating, mostly because I am not sure I consider her a cheater for this. This behavior—and the behavior we’ll get to in a minute—is cheating. But… she’s cheating on someone she’s had doubts about, someone she barely wants to spend time with, someone who testified against her in court (??), and someone we’ve barely gotten to know. That’s not to say that cheating is justified if that’s the case. It’s not. My point is that I don’t know what Maia’s going to do next. If what she does next involves keeping this from Amy and acting like everything is normal, then yes, she is a cheater and ughhhhhh, Maia. But if this is really the final straw/a wake-up call that causes her to either work through her issues with Amy (including actually telling her she cheated) or break up with her, then it feels like less of a betrayal to me. I don’t know where I’m going with this. Moving on. I am sure I will have more thoughts, hopefully clearer and more fully formed ones, once the next episode (that addresses this plotline) airs.

Carine gets called into work, where she falls on the ground because she is drunk. They have to leave, but she wants to stay a few more days!

Ruth tells the name partners the DNC’s decision: they’re hiring a team of lawyers from various firms, and they just want Liz. “Like the Avengers,” Diane observes. Yes, you read that right. Diane made that observation. Diane Lockhart.

Adrian calls Liz “Wonder Woman” and Ruth corrects him that “That’s the Justice League.” Hee. Look at Diane and Ruth, knowing their superheroes better than I do! (Though I actually understood both of those references.)

Will Liz actually take the offer? I’m unsure. I don’t want anything that means less Liz, so I’m hoping either she doesn’t take it or she does but it doesn’t reduce her screentime.

Ruth tells her assistant to turn off the DNC cameras. But he can’t, because Maia and Carine are busy having sex, on camera, in the office. You’re such a good employee, Maia.

Carine would know about the cameras, but I don’t think this is a set-up (I think she’s just drunk, though wouldn’t be shocked if it was a set-up). Maia wouldn’t know about the cameras, but for fuck’s sake, Maia, do you think you’re supposed to be having sex at the office? Oh, you know what? It’s Maia. She probably thinks that’s what offices are for.

(I so badly want to end my recap there, but also, this Trump impeachment Schoolhouse Rock style song is A++++++ and I’m not sure why it exists but I’m glad it does. It’s also by the same guy (Jonathan Coulson) who did all the BrainDead recap songs (if you did not watch BrainDead, you should) so I’m a very happy fan.)

(Omg, and the slow instrumental “If You’re Happy and You Know It” over the credits is great.)

[syaifulnawar]

Liked on YouTube: COTW - ANTI TEEN SMOKING ADS https://youtu.be/MHZXf5NdYf8

[holbyconfessional]

Holby City S19 E54-E60

As with the Casualty catch up - since this is SO historical now, I’m going to put the whole lot under a cut, save dashboards!!! Episodes covered are:

S19 E54 - Thicker Than Water

S19 E55 - Things Left Unsaid

S19 E56 - Know Yourself, Know Your Enemy  

S19 E57 - Kingdom Come

S19 E58 - It Has To Be Now

S19 E59 - Hungry Heart 

S19 E60 - Hiding Places

Holby City S19 E54 - Thicker Than Water

So we have more Guiseppe this week.  Yay.  Not.  A Small bowel volvulus couldn't happen to a nicer guy.  Sorry, Raf.

More nefarious Fredrick, shipping in a Swedish patient, then pretending he didn't know her so he could fake diagnose her Pancreatic Pseudocyst and wow everyone with his swift and decisive diagnosis skills.  Not to mention try and make another play to push a clinical trial for his drug.  So glad that Hanssen twigged and called him out on it.  Odious individual.

Ollie and Matteo's competition to be the most interesting was dull, although it did afford Jac a wonderful opportunity to show off her feistiness with her epic line (about Ollie's dullness) 'I'm as shocked as you are!'

In other and most heartbreaking news, Lofty transferred to AAU, and worst of all, Raf proposed to Essie.  I mentally threw things at my TV.

Holby City S19 E55 - Things Left Unsaid

Well, Morven was rather uncharacteristically unkind to Lofty, wasn't she?!  I mean, he may be one of the dullest humans in existence, and aggravatingly cheerful and fair, but still!  Of course, he was going to make a brilliant diagnosis with the hypochondriac patient, thereby showing Morven his worth.  Actually, I'm pretty glad it was something minor, and Morven still got to 'win' too, about the woman being a bit of a time waster.  It may not have avoided the cliche, but it did slightly mitigate it!

Evil Fredrick strikes again with his tenuous grasp on truthfulness and medical ethics, by covering up a psychological issue with a father/son transplant.  HOW is Nina the Snake letting these things happen, how is he getting away with it, with the barest of slapped wrists?  Better not be because of his father, because I'm pretty sure said father wouldn't be putting up with such shenanigans!

So, Nina the Snake is pregnant, and trying to talk to a seemingly uninterested Matteo.  I was pretty uninterested too.

And finally, it's Roxanna's first day.  Somewhat less angst between her and Ollie than expected.  There has been some speculation that she's an early insert, with an ultimate potential goal of being a love interest for Serena somewhen upon her return.  I'm saying now, please god don't let this be true. It's almost impossible now, watching some of the insane pairings they've got going on, or building up.  But that?  I just couldn't.

Holby City S19 E56 - Know Yourself, Know Your Enemy

AKA the day of Ric's inquest at the Coroners Court, into the death of Elaine Warren - where, surprise surprise, it's found that there's a case to answer.  As with any long running show, some story lines are more gripping than others.  I have to say, for the most part, I'm finding this more of a slog than a thrill, but I will say that I really would like to know what happened with the anti-coagulants!  Was it Ric's error?  Did Donna screw up?  Dear lord, I hope it's the latter.  Really not a Donna fan.

So, Amira's back on Darwin.  Why?  Is she considered an interesting character?  I suspect it's more in an attempt to expose some hole in Jac's psyche, since we're clearly being shown that she's struggling with something - hopefully setting us up for a lovely, meaty storyline, and not just the impending romance with Fletch (vomit).

Dom and Fredrick.  I find it interesting and mildly alarming how jealous Fredrick is of Dom.  Of course, he wants to be the most important in his fathers eyes, and he's already been shown to be extremely ruthless and manipulative in order to try and get his own way and climb to the top.   So it's ironic that his behaviour traits and attempts at professional shortcuts should be exactly what set him back in his incredibly rational and fair father's eyes, against Dom's honesty and genuine attempts to be the best he can be, and the best for his patients.  I enjoyed his detective work this episode, diagnosing the Wegener's Granulomatosis (GPA), and I liked his decision to pull it as the case study for his Junior Doctors Award project, in favour of something far more prosaic.   To my mind, it's a nice demonstration of exactly how much Dom has grown as a person and a doctor, and was the perfect offset for Fredrick's showboating.

Holby City S19 E57 - Kingdom Come

Highly stressful, edge of your seat stuff tonight.  Will Holby be closed, in favour of St Francis?  Will all our beloved characters lose their jobs? Maybe not quite as stressful as the producers would like, as I think we can all pretty much assume that somehow, Holby will endure.  But, the episode did afford some good moments for Hanssen - most noteably 1) the opening scene on the roof, 2) a great camera shot of Hanssen standing on Keller as the camera panned along the ward toward him, and 3) Hanssen sitting in his office, with his glasses off.  (I'm not sure why the last one pleases me so, but it does, so there you go!).

I'm always very pro Hanssen heavy storylines, I think he's an exceptional character.  With this one, I was also pretty delighted that in some part, it was the underrated Sacha who saved the day, with his innovative idea of implementing SAINT (post-surgical accelerated independence using novel technology).  Loved the final scene with Hanssen acknowledging Sacha's importance to him and the hospital, over a drink.

Jeremy Warren is back, wanting his mothers notes from Donna.  HOW is Donna so stupid as to keep entertaining him?  Surely she realises at this stage that she's putting herself, the hospital, the case itself in danger by continuing to keep in contact with him?!

Also the return of one of my favourite patients, Mr James.  He has the best lines, and excellent delivery.  His speech about Matteo's hair was just classic, I bet he's a dream to write for.

Other moments included Ollie's wedding ring, lots of posturing by evil Fredrick, but special acting credit MUST go to Matteo's red trainers, which stole every scene they were in!

Holby City S19 E58 - It Has To Be Now

Oh, what fun.  We were forced to rewatch Raf's proposal to Essie in the pre credits. Ouch. Followed by a post credit dramatic running scene which is supposed to remain us we love Ollie (although I'm sorry to say, black hoodie aside, he definitely lost cool points IMO).  Which was then supposed to help us remember that we hate Roxanna, because not only did she kill Ollie's wife, but she's also trying to steal his project funding.  Oh, but whoops.  Her project is on Alzheimers, and hey, her super talented surgeon husband has Alzheimers, so all of a sudden, she's not The Bad Guy, and we (and Ollie) want her to get the funding, because she and her husband deserve it...

And here's where I stop being sarcastic and flippant, because as hackneyed as the storyline is, I don't consider dementia of any form to be a laughing matter, having personally seen what it can do to a loved one.   And I can begin in the smallest way to imagine the pain of what she and her husband must be feeling.  But, it doesn't change the fact that for me, this entire story was so heavily signposted that it kind of lost impact.

Oh, holy shitbags.  Not only did Raf and Essie get engaged, but now they blinking well got married.  On the one hand, I thank goodness that it was off screen and I didn't have to watch it, but on the other, EW!   Couldn't they have had their 2 episodes of happiness, then suffered a monumental breakup, or the death of a close family member which would leave one of them angry, depressed, drinking too much and lashing out at colleagues, before buggering off to a vineyard in France, whilst the other went to do humanitarian work with the army?  Oh, whoops, wrong pairing...  But poor, poor Sacha.

Ooh, Morven and her mother.  Not a shining example of maternal glory to my mind.  Personally, I'm thinking Morven is SO much better off without her.

Holby City S19 E59 - Hungry Heart

Ooh, lashings of evil Fredrick.  Undermining Dom to Henrik, Sacha to the pathologically honest patient's girlfriend, then finally 'accidentally' telling Matteo about Nina the Snake's pregnancy.  Such an unbelievably unlikeable character.  There was a little celebration in my soul when Henrik told him that there was a recruitment freeze, which would prevent him from applying for a registrar's post.  Karma?!  So, Hanssen thinks Fredrick should go back to Sweden (well, don't we all?  Except perhaps his poor wife, who I, for one, seem to have horridly misunderstood!)

So, we got one teeny tiny scene where Lofty visited Dom, and gave him a super squishy hug of congratulations.  Gotta keep the memory of that not-quite relationship lurking somewhere in the viewers mind, so it's ripe for revisiting.  Right?

Lots of Ric drama.  I have to say, I loved Morven's supportiveness, inviting him for coffee.  Such a nice change from Donna's hounding.  Ric may have been a mentor and friend to her, but last I checked, that doesn't automatically mean she has the right to invade every corner of his life, and to know every move he makes.  I felt really angry when she was hounding him about where he was when Jeremy's mother died.  She wants to know why he won't tell her?  Well, perhaps it's because it's none of her ****ing business!!!

COTWs, WAG with appendicitis, and the slightly more interesting kid with a funky neck, who passed out every time he looked to the side too quickly.

Holby City S19 E60 - Hiding Places

I'm afraid I found this episode rather dull.  More of the Ric/Donna/Jeremy debacle, and I find myself no clearer as to why Donna persists in hanging around with Jeremy in the face of his allegations.  Ric is supposedly her friend.  I get that she doesn't know what actually happened, so she doesn't know for sure that he is completely innocent, and I get that she feels some level of empathy toward Jeremy for his loss - BUT, Ric is supposed to be her friend, and she truly believes he is an excellent doctor and surgeon, and she also believes in human error, so why is she not supporting Ric more?  (I'd just like to qualify at this point that I don't mean by lying for him).  And even more to the point, surely her continuing interaction with Jeremy is actually detrimental to the court case?  At least Jac stood up for Ric, even if it was in an inappropriate way.  And ooh, look, seems like Jeremy is going to try and squeeze a second court case out of it!  

On the one hand, I believe in justice.  But on the other, I think this litiginous society in which we live is insane.

So, Fredrick is indeed gone.  But is it for good?  (Please be yes, please be yes....)

Nina and Matteo and the baby.  I shall sum up my thoughts into a single word.  YAWN.

So, this episode had a patient naming dogs after staff based on their personality traits.  Oh, how I chortled and slapped my thigh.

Mildly interesting thread - the unravelling of Jac.  Awesome, awesome character.

[stromibergwitz1]

Liked on YouTube: COTW - ANTI TEEN SMOKING ADS https://youtu.be/MHZXf5NdYf8

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW 15 - update

Resting his forehead against the toilet, Eren was praying for some peace. He may have slight found he'd forgotten to take his antibiotics since coming, and was now wondering if the fact he felt so sick was because of it, and not just everything happening with pup and the trial. Levi had called out softly to him when he'd left for work, then a few moments later, Eren had found himself on the bathroom floor, throwing up until his stomach physically hurt from the tightening of his muscles. When he'd felt around his bathroom drawer, instead of finding his anti-nausea pills, he'd found his antibiotics. Since Viren had grown, and his curiosity had grown, they'd had to find toddler proof ways to keep his medication out the boy's hands. He hadn't thought Levi would place his medication in there, though it was the only drawer in the whole bathroom that "locked", thanks to the tiny lock Levi had installed himself. The key kept under Levi's things in his drawer. Dry swallowing his antibiotics had only made him feel worse, and having not slept the night before left him not only feeling gross, but gross and sleepy, with the gross making the sleepy impossible. He had to testify. Levi scent had been so agitated, it'd been like his alpha wasn't on suppressants, and even if not directed at him, his omega had gone into meltdown mode, taking his stomach with it. He didn't want to testify. He didn't want to put the pups in danger, and he didn't like the fact that his stomach was flaring with pain over his distress. It meant he needed to monitor himself in case of a bleed, then potentially another trip to hospital. Hospital. He loathed the place, yet now he was also stuck wondering if Mike knew Erwin had been called to testify. He didn't understand why he would be. They could have asked him about the note. They could have asked him about his time with Zeke, Reiner and Bertholdt. They were probably going to anyway... He already knew the moment he took the stand, he'd be judged for his swollen belly and secondary dynamic. He could probably wear the nicest and richest clothes in the world, but no one would see them. Fuck. He didn't want to remember. If he asked Krista, she'd probably let him listen to their sessions about what happened. Things he felt couldn't repeat were recorded. Things like signing were taped with a camera for Levi to watch at a later date. That was the system that worked best for him. He could get it all out, and if the time came when he was finally able to confront it, he could sit down with Levi and they could confront it together. It still blew his mind that he could have such a kind and caring alpha, who really did seem to want the best for him. Even when his world was turned upside down and everything felt like a dream. It was like the book he'd started reading to Viren, "Alice in Wonderland", where nothing was as it seemed. He wouldn't be surprised to see a hookah smoking caterpillar, or to stumble out one morning to find Titan smoking a hookah, while dishing out words of advice that left his head muddled. What a joke. Who would have thought the kid who'd lost his mum at 10, was found and betrayed by his brother, then nearly wound up dead more than once, would still be paying for that day all those years ago... it all started then, so why couldn't it have all ended there too? Fuck. Every choice his made played on a loop. All the what-ifs made it hard to feel alive. It was like the very thing that made him him, was being snuffed out from the inside out. He just wanted it done. He just wanted to be free, and those he loved to live long happy lives. * Erwin was waiting for him when Levi marched into work. The man didn't even see it coming as Levi swung for his nose, staggering back, Erwin looked stunned. Around them, their coworkers at the depot stilled. Snarling, Levi bared his teeth. Wiping at his dripping nose, Erwin opened his mouth, but Levi wasn't having it. Eren had wanted to punch Erwin and that blow had been for him "How the fuck could you!? November! You've fucking known since November! You fucking knew they wanted to put him on the stand and you said nothing! Is this some kind of fucking joke to you?! This is my fucking family!" "Levi! What is going on here?!" Some little shit had run to their boss, the woman standing there, looking just as shocked as Erwin had "This piece of shit is trying to get my omega, and our children killed" "I think you two should come to my office" Her voice was soft and calm, trying to defuse the situation. Never in his life had Levi ever felt so betrayed "I have nothing to say to him" Actually, he just didn't want to listen to Erwin's voice "Levi, you need to understand..." "No, Erwin. You need to understand. Eren was in hospital with complications from his pregnancy and an infection. One pup has an SCT, that needs monitoring. They've already scared the fuck out of him, shoving ideas of abortion down his throat because he's an omega. He gets out of hospital, then Floch decides to show up, demanding Eren testifies... and then, we find out that you've known for months! He already lost one pup. Do you want him to miscarry? Is that it? He's at home, terrified about how this is going to affect Viren! He was talking about dying! You never said a single thing. Not once" "Floch contacted me just after Eren miscarried. He said he was going to contact you, and I told him to wait. The timing wasn't right" Levi scoffed openly "And what about after that. All those lectures and shit moods of yours" "At the time you were both grieving" "Of course we were fucking grieving! Our relationship was on the rocks and Eren was so sure that I was going to leave him, he was going to down abortion pills and tell me nothing about it! But you know what, we started getting through it, and you still kept your mouth shut. You had so many chances. I have never, ever, been as disappointed in you as I am now" Standing there with her arms crossed, his boss was staring right at him "Levi, please. I really think this isn't a conversation you should be having in front of everyone" He'd forgotten he had an audience, though most of them had scuttled off like scared mice. Running his hand through his hair, he took a breath to calm himself "You're probably right" "That's better. Now, both of you, in my office. Smith, is it broken?" Erwin shook his head "No" "Good. Get cleaned up. I did not need this today" Sitting in his bosses office, the woman started before Erwin joined them "I hear you have a lot going on" "Just a little" "Care to shed some light on the matter for me?" "Not particularly" "Too bad. Now, what is this?" "Erwin dislikes Eren" "That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking why it was bad enough for you to hit your coworker" He felt like a kid. A snot nosed brat sitting in the principals office, without the sobbing or the racing heart. Just the disappointment "Eren went through some stuff a little nearly four years ago. It wasn't great, and we both nearly died because of it. We're still working through the pup having an SCT, when all this had been brought up again" "This stuff, you mean the attempt on both your lives by Reiner Braun. You don't need to sugar coat it" "That was part of it. Eren was involved in the destruction of a baby farm. A lot of shitstains were thrown in prison for it, and now one of them has decided to cry wolf. Even with the complications from his pregnancy, depression, anxieties, and health issues, they still want him to testify. Erwin knew, and didn't bother to fucking tell us. Floch was too spineless to give us a heads up. Now the only chance I have to keep him off the stand is the report from his specialist over the pup, but we both know that won't amount to much given how badly they want him on the stand" His boss sighed, leaving back in her chair "And here you thought you'd be enjoying quiet family time" "I fuck-..." Knocking on the door, Erwin let himself in. His nose padded. At least it was still bleeding "Erwin, take a seat" As Erwin moved to do so, Levi moved his own seat away from the man "Now. I've heard both sides of this argument. Erwin do you wish to press charges against Levi?" "No" "Excellent. I still need to write this up. Levi, I can't suspend you, nor give you time off right now. The best I can give you is split shifts until you leave. I may be able to give you some leeway with Eren's specialist appointment, but finding your replacement has been quite the challenge. Given the issue, I feel separating you both is in the best interest of both of you. Erwin, you'll partner with Ginn. Levi, you and Schultz will supervise the three on placement here. Guys. I know you're better than this, but you both need to think about the example this sets for the others" Levi nodded, while Erwin sighed. He had no right to chuck the shits. He was the one who'd proven just how much of a lying wanker he was "Good. Now, Levi, do you need to call Eren? Is he expecting you home?" "No. He's expecting me to work" "He's a smart omega. I'm sure things will work out just fine. Now, I need a moment with Erwin" "Understood. Thank you" For some fucked up reason, Erwin thought it perfectly acceptable to call him, then start with a near constant barrage of texts, telling him to answer his phone. Each and every call went unanswered, the texts deleted and the man's number blocked. He didn't care if it was childish. He had responsibilities towards his boss, and the three idiots he was now baby-sittting. Still, it was worth it. Eren would scold him a little, but he'd understand why. It was a complete and total douche move that broke his trust and left him disgusted in Erwin. He'd been to Viren's birthday party. They'd worked together. They'd worked together on his birthday and New Years. He had weeks between Eren's partial miscarriage and Eren ending up in hospital to open his mouth and spit all this out. When one of the shitty students finally grew the balls to ask what had happened, Levi was more than happy to give them all a very thorough walk through of how to clean an ambulance properly, and how to ensure everything was restocked in the entirety... with zero regret. The more they grumbled, the more he pointed out their mistakes, remaking them do everything all over again from the start. It made for excellent therapy, leaving feeling mildly better as the night came to an end. Now all that was left was to go home to Eren, and Viren. Then to climb into bed, knowing Viren would come crawling into his bed for cuddles. * It was a few days after the Erwin incident when Eren came padding into their room. His mate wasn't in a great place mentally, he'd accidentally caused Eren to faint with fear. By simply coming home mid shift after forgetting some paperwork he'd brought home to finish. Looking up from the book he'd been reading, his omega was shirtless and pale "Levi, I don't feel good" Placing his book down, Levi made space at the edge of the bed. Eren must have been feeling like death warmed up as he waddled over, and sat beside him as if he'd forgotten he needed space "What's wrong?" "I feel hot" Raising his hand, Eren took it, placing it to his forehead "You feel clammy. Any nausea? Dizzy spells? Headaches? Or vomiting?" Vomiting could be stress, as could the clamminess "Vomiting... and I can't sleep" "When was the last time you slept?" Eren had to pause to think, shaking his head tiredly "When I fainted?" "Brat, that was two days ago. You need to be resting" Two days ago and he'd woken half an hour later "I can't sleep" Shifting further over, Levi pulled the blankets down "Come here" "What?" "Come here. You can't sleep because your mind is over active. You've hit over tired, and I won't have that. It's not healthy for you, or for the pups. Now. Come here" Sliding down, Levi patted the spot next to him "I don't think I can sleep..." "Then just lay down next to me and rest" "I might freak out" "And I'll be right here if that happens" Crawling into bed, Eren grunted as flopped down beside him, before scooting back into his hold. His head resting on Levi's arm, as he wriggled against him "Now close your eyes" "I can't" "You can. It's not hard" "I can't stop thinking" "Then think about me" "This is stupid" "It's not stupid. You're going to get some sleep, and then I'm going to make you something to eat. When did you last eat?" "I... everything I eat, I've been throwing up" "Have you been having shakes?" "They don't really stay down either..." "Ok. Sleep, then food. I start at 9 tomorrow, so we get an extra 2 hour sleep in" "Why 9?" "I'm supervising the students at the moment, and they have an exam in the morning" "What time does this exam start?" "7" "That's not humane" "They need to be able to cope with a lack of sleep" Eren sighed softly, his mate's breath tickling as goosebumps erupted along as his arm. In the silence of their room, the gurgle Eren's stomach gave brought a smile to his face. He wasn't necessarily laughing, but the sound had been completely unexpected. In his arms, Eren pushed himself out of his hold "Eren?" "I'm going to be sick" Doing a semi-shuffled run, Eren rushed from their room. Levi pushing back the covers completely, following his mate into the bathroom. Eren was kneeling in front of the toilet, dry heaving as nothing came up. Moving to sit behind him, Levi kissed Eren's shoulder as he rubbed his left arm, trying to offer a small measure of comfort "Eren, it's not healthy to be dry heaving like this. You're too exhausted to be trying to deal with this" Gagging and spitting, Eren's words fell between his mates desperate attempts to vomit "Tell that to my stomach" "Have you tried your pills?" "Threw 'em up" "Let me call Mike? See if he can give you a shot for the nausea and something to help you sleep?" "I don't want to go to hospital" "I'm not talking about taking you to hospital..." Though he was severely tempted to. Not sleeping and constant vomiting was no good for Eren, or the pups "... I was thinking I would explain your systems to him, and see if he can give you something to help" "I don't know... What if Erwin... well, you know..." "Mike is enough of a professional that he wouldn't allow it affect his work. Besides, I doubt he would approve of his husband's behaviour" "What if he comes with him?" "Then we let Mike in, and leave Erwin out in the hall" "He has keys" "The bolt can't be opened with keys..." Guiding Eren back from the toilet, his omega have a weary sigh "I'm so tired" "I can see that. Let me take care of it all, ok?" "I'm too tired to say no" Levi kissed Eren's clammy cheek "Good boy. I know you think you're going to be sick, but I doubt it. The only thing you're bringing up is spit and bile" "That's two things" "You know what I mean. Let's get you back to bed?" "I don't want to mess the bed up" "I can take a little mess" Like the putrid puddle Eren had left when he'd wound up in hospital... looping Eren's arm over his shoulder, his omega whined weakly as Levi started lifting him "I'm sorry" "You're ok. I'm here, and you're ok" "I just need to sleep" "I think we both agree on that. Why haven't you been sleeping when Viren is?" "I can't... I can't stop thinking" "That's never a safe thing" "You're an arsehole. Fuck... I'm tired" Did Eren not know he was repeating the question? Or was it for emphasis? Even if he'd asked, Eren would probably just blame it on his fatigue "You did the right thing coming to me" "I didn't want to disturb you, but I didn't know what to do, and I feel so messed up. I guess... I guess I really need a hug" "I will give you all the hugs you could ever want" "Ugh. I'm too tired to hit you" "If it'll make you feel better..." "Hugs are nicer. Even my omega's too exhausted for this shit" Not wanting to risk calling Mike and having Erwin answer, Levi sent their friend a text asking for help with Eren's lack of sleep and vomiting. By some minor miracle, Mike was awake, promising to come check in with Eren. Undoing the bolt and chain, Levi rejoined Eren in their bedroom. Sitting in his original position, he let his omega move his head to his lap, nuzzling into Levi's leg as he got comfortable "Mike said he'd come round" "I feel bad for disturbing him" "He's married to Erwin. He's disturbed enough" "I really didn't want you two to fight" "I know. But what he did was wrong. He needs to sit down and think about everything" "You make it sound like he's a three year old" "Viren has better manners than him. Have things be ok?" "He's going back to missing you all the time, and taking it out on me. If that's what you mean?" "Why didn't you tell me?" "Because he doesn't understand what he's doing is wrong... and I'm so tired, I don't know what to say or do anymore. Besides, I needed space. I still need space. I'm just..." "So tired you need a little help?" "That makes it sound like I'm using you" "No. I didn't mean it like that. I don't like you feelings sick, but I do like being there for you" Resting his hand on Eren's hair, he didn't know what else to say. His mate was adorable. Even when they weren't talking and had this stupid distance between them, he still loved his omega. There was so much for Eren to take in. Not only the trial, but the specialist appointment in a couple of days. Perhaps it was a blessing Eren was too tired to be thinking about it. Levi had done some more online research. With the wonders of modern medicine, the pup could be aborted without harming its twin. It could also be delivered ahead of time, though the survival odds were low "You're too much for me" "I wouldn't say that. I left the door unlocked for Mike" "I feel bad annoying him..." "All I did was ask if he could come 'round, he could have said no" "Mmm" Poked, prodded and injected, Eren was finally sleeping. Levi stroking his hair as he did, his mate finally looking relaxed and peaceful. Having brought their only dining chair in from the living area, Mike waited until Eren's was finally asleep before venturing into the Erwin matter. He'd avoided both the trial and the baby thing, while Eren was awake. Not that Eren was talking. He'd frozen when Mike walked into the room, and stayed silent right up until he fell asleep "Erwin didn't tell me he hadn't talked to you about the trial" "Aren't you two supposed to be married?" "So you knew?" "When he first brought it up, I agreed he should hold back from telling you, due to the miscarriage. What I didn't know was that he didn't talk to you about it after. Not until he came with a bruised face" "He deserved it" "I'm not saying he didn't. I assume this all came as a shock" Levi snorted "Yeah. A shock. You could say it like that. The night Eren gets out of hospital, Flock came right over and dropped all this shit in our lap. This is the most time we've spent together in the last week. He can't sleep and he keeps throwing everything up. Floch reckons he has to testify" "He's in no condition to testify" "Your opinion doesn't count. I'm hoping we can get a letter from the specialist about this. I've already told him I'll take him to whatever doctor or therapist they want us to see" "Does Floch know?" "He knows it's a high risk pregnancy, and it was clear from looking at Eren, that he can't cope with this right now. His nerves are shot to shit" "Floch never struck me as narrow minded" "Of course he's narrow minded, his head is firmly wedged up his arse" "Is that your medical opinion?" "This isn't the time for jokes" Mike shook his head "I suppose not. What can I do to help?" "This. Eren won't go back to hospital, unless it's kicking and screaming. He's been holed up in his room instead for the most part. He's been avoiding me, but he's too exhausted to fight right now. And if we can't keep him from testifying, it's going to be one hell of a fight" Mike paused, the man tugging on his jacket sleeves acting uncharacteristically nervous "I know you don't want to talk about it, but have you discussed..." "He's not having an abortion. He's already said as much" "He may not have a choice" "You're right. I don't want to talk about it" "Eren should be out for the next 10 to 12 hours. And you have work?" "I do... I'll have to take Viren in with me" "I can take him to Hanji's" "My shift's from 9 to 3" ""She starts at 1. And I'll be on already" "Who's looking after Anna?" "I'm not sure. She usually brings her here... I'm sure we can find a sitter at the hospital" "Eren would love that. Viren in hospital. He wouldn't even stop to hear why, before kicking up a storm" Thinking about it, a knowing smile formed on his lips "What's with the look?" "I was just thinking about how the idiots on placement haven't worked with children before. They've been into the field, but they've never had to handle children before. Let alone a cranky three year old" "Will your boss be ok with it?" "I'm in charge of their training. They need to learn that dealing with a child isn't like dealing with a small adult" "I'm glad you're not my boss" "Then it's a good thing I won't be there much longer" "I mentioned that to Erwin. Apparently it slipped your mind to tell him" "I have yet to tell anyone. Other than Eren and my boss. I asked her to keep it quite" "And you weren't going to tell him?" "It must have slipped my mind, like the trial slipped his" "I know you two have had your disagreements..." Levi let out a chuckle "You mean. You've seen how overbearing he's become to the point where he feels the need to continually insult my life choices and my mate? I appreciated everything he did for me, but I have never appreciated his words against Eren" "He really does worry for you. It has caused more than one fight between us" "It wasn't my intention" "No. No. It's not you. It's him. Erwin just has a hard time letting go" "Are things still going well between you two?" "Three. Eld is back in the equation" "I thought you two agreed to close the relationship" "We did. Until... You probably don't want to hear it" Levi stroked Eren's hair, tucking it back behind his ear. It was getting long again. Not that he was complaining. He loved running his fingers through Eren's long hair "I'm not going anywhere. Besides, it's the least I could do. You did drop everything to help Eren" "He's been a good influence on you. You've softened since meeting you" "Erwin doesn't agree" "Erwin is rather disagreeable" "Are you supposed to say that about your husband?" "Probably not. Things have been easier with Eld around, but it doesn't feel like a real relationship with the three of us. I don't know how they make it work. No matter what happens, someone's feelings are hurt, and someone feels left out. But the sex with Eld is great" "I didn't need to know that" "All I'm saying is, you and Eren are lucky to have each other. You've both been able to help each other through your issues" "I know. I never thought I'd have someone like him in my life" "I think that's why Erwin can't understand. Before you had Eren, you had Erwin. I think he felt that he'd forever be chasing your footsteps. He also doesn't understand the bond between an alpha and an omega" "I never asked him to. And there a plenty of nonalpha/omega relationships" "Yes, but the dynamic isn't the same" "No two relationships are. Eren thought we were over. He seriously thought I didn't love him, and that we were done. Now, when I ask him anything about the wedding, he says he doesn't want to get married. This trial is something we really didn't need"

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW - 15 - we never speak of this chapter again

Resting his forehead against the toilet, Eren was praying for some peace. He may have slight found he'd forgotten to take his antibiotics since coming, and was now wondering if the fact he felt so sick was because of it, and not just everything happening with pup and the trial. Levi had called out softly to him when he'd left for work, then a few moments later, Eren had found himself on the bathroom floor, throwing up until his stomach physically hurt from the tightening of his muscles. When he'd felt around his bathroom drawer, instead of finding his anti-nausea pills, he'd found his antibiotics. Since Viren had grown, and his curiosity had grown, they'd had to find toddler proof ways to keep his medication out the boy's hands. He hadn't thought Levi would place his medication in there, though it was the only drawer in the whole bathroom that "locked", thanks to the tiny lock Levi had installed himself. The key kept under Levi's things in his drawer. Dry swallowing his antibiotics had only made him feel worse, and having not slept the night before left him not only feeling gross, but gross and sleepy, with the gross making the sleepy impossible. He had to testify. Levi scent had been so agitated, it'd been like his alpha wasn't on suppressants, and even if not directed at him, his omega had gone into meltdown mode, taking his stomach with it. He didn't want to testify. He didn't want to put the pups in danger, and he didn't like the fact that his stomach was flaring with pain over his distress. It meant he needed to monitor himself in case of a bleed, then potentially another trip to hospital. Hospital. He loathed the place, yet now he was also stuck wondering if Mike knew Erwin had been called to testify. He didn't understand why he would be. They could have asked him about the note. They could have asked him about his time with Zeke, Reiner and Bertholdt. They were probably going to anyway... He already knew the moment he took the stand, he'd be judged for his swollen belly and secondary dynamic. He could probably wear the nicest and richest clothes in the world, but no one would see them. Fuck. He didn't want to remember. If he asked Krista, she'd probably let him listen to their sessions about what happened. Things he felt couldn't repeat were recorded. Things like signing were taped with a camera for Levi to watch at a later date. That was the system that worked best for him. He could get it all out, and if the time came when he was finally able to confront it, he could sit down with Levi and they could confront it together. It still blew his mind that he could have such a kind and caring alpha, who really did seem to want the best for him. Even when his world was turned upside down and everything felt like a dream. It was like the book he'd started reading to Viren, "Alice in Wonderland", where nothing was as it seemed. He wouldn't be surprised to see a hookah smoking caterpillar, or to stumble out one morning to find Titan smoking a hookah, while dishing out words of advice that left his head muddled. What a joke. Who would have thought the kid who'd lost his mum at 10, was found and betrayed by his brother, then nearly wound up dead more than once, would still be paying for that day all those years ago... it all started then, so why couldn't it have all ended there too? Fuck. Every choice his made played on a loop. All the what-ifs made it hard to feel alive. It was like the very thing that made him him, was being snuffed out from the inside out. He just wanted it done. He just wanted to be free, and those he loved to live long happy lives. * Erwin was waiting for him when Levi marched into work. The man didn't even see it coming as Levi swung for his nose, staggering back, Erwin looked stunned. Around them, their coworkers at the depot stilled. Snarling, Levi bared his teeth. Wiping at his dripping nose, Erwin opened his mouth, but Levi wasn't having it. Eren had wanted to punch Erwin and that blow had been for him "How the fuck could you!? November! You've fucking known since November! You fucking knew they wanted to put him on the stand and you said nothing! Is this some kind of fucking joke to you?! This is my fucking family!" "Levi! What is going on here?!" Some little shit had run to their boss, the woman standing there, looking just as shocked as Erwin had "This piece of shit is trying to get my omega, and our children killed" "I think you two should come to my office" Her voice was soft and calm, trying to defuse the situation. Never in his life had Levi ever felt so betrayed "I have nothing to say to him" Actually, he just didn't want to listen to Erwin's voice "Levi, you need to understand..." "No, Erwin. You need to understand. Eren was in hospital with complications from his pregnancy and an infection. One pup has an SCT, that needs monitoring. They've already scared the fuck out of him, shoving ideas of abortion down his throat because he's an omega. He gets out of hospital, then Floch decides to show up, demanding Eren testifies... and then, we find out that you've known for months! He already lost one pup. Do you want him to miscarry? Is that it? He's at home, terrified about how this is going to affect Viren! He was talking about dying! You never said a single thing. Not once" "Floch contacted me just after Eren miscarried. He said he was going to contact you, and I told him to wait. The timing wasn't right" Levi scoffed openly "And what about after that. All those lectures and shit moods of yours" "At the time you were both grieving" "Of course we were fucking grieving! Our relationship was on the rocks and Eren was so sure that I was going to leave him, he was going to down abortion pills and tell me nothing about it! But you know what, we started getting through it, and you still kept your mouth shut. You had so many chances. I have never, ever, been as disappointed in you as I am now" Standing there with her arms crossed, his boss was staring right at him "Levi, please. I really think this isn't a conversation you should be having in front of everyone" He'd forgotten he had an audience, though most of them had scuttled off like scared mice. Running his hand through his hair, he took a breath to calm himself "You're probably right" "That's better. Now, both of you, in my office. Smith, is it broken?" Erwin shook his head "No" "Good. Get cleaned up. I did not need this today" Sitting in his bosses office, the woman started before Erwin joined them "I hear you have a lot going on" "Just a little" "Care to shed some light on the matter for me?" "Not particularly" "Too bad. Now, what is this?" "Erwin dislikes Eren" "That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking why it was bad enough for you to hit your coworker" He felt like a kid. A snot nosed brat sitting in the principals office, without the sobbing or the racing heart. Just the disappointment "Eren went through some stuff a little nearly four years ago. It wasn't great, and we both nearly died because of it. We're still working through the pup having an SCT, when all this had been brought up again" "This stuff, you mean the attempt on both your lives by Reiner Braun. You don't need to sugar coat it" "That was part of it. Eren was involved in the destruction of a baby farm. A lot of shitstains were thrown in prison for it, and now one of them has decided to cry wolf. Even with the complications from his pregnancy, depression, anxieties, and health issues, they still want him to testify. Erwin knew, and didn't bother to fucking tell us. Floch was too spineless to give us a heads up. Now the only chance I have to keep him off the stand is the report from his specialist over the pup, but we both know that won't amount to much given how badly they want him on the stand" His boss sighed, leaving back in her chair "And here you thought you'd be enjoying quiet family time" "I fuck-..." Knocking on the door, Erwin let himself in. His nose padded. At least it was still bleeding "Erwin, take a seat" As Erwin moved to do so, Levi moved his own seat away from the man "Now. I've heard both sides of this argument. Erwin do you wish to press charges against Levi?" "No" "Excellent. I still need to write this up. Levi, I can't suspend you, nor give you time off right now. The best I can give you is split shifts until you leave. I may be able to give you some leeway with Eren's specialist appointment, but finding your replacement has been quite the challenge. Given the issue, I feel separating you both is in the best interest of both of you. Erwin, you'll partner with Ginn. Levi, you and Schultz will supervise the three on placement here. Guys. I know you're better than this, but you both need to think about the example this sets for the others" Levi nodded, while Erwin sighed. He had no right to chuck the shits. He was the one who'd proven just how much of a lying wanker he was "Good. Now, Levi, do you need to call Eren? Is he expecting you home?" "No. He's expecting me to work" "He's a smart omega. I'm sure things will work out just fine. Now, I need a moment with Erwin" "Understood. Thank you" For some fucked up reason, Erwin thought it perfectly acceptable to call him, then start with a near constant barrage of texts, telling him to answer his phone. Each and every call went unanswered, the texts deleted and the man's number blocked. He didn't care if it was childish. He had responsibilities towards his boss, and the three idiots he was now baby-sittting. Still, it was worth it. Eren would scold him a little, but he'd understand why. It was a complete and total douche move that broke his trust and left him disgusted in Erwin. He'd been to Viren's birthday party. They'd worked together. They'd worked together on his birthday and New Years. He had weeks between Eren's partial miscarriage and Eren ending up in hospital to open his mouth and spit all this out. When one of the shitty students finally grew the balls to ask what had happened, Levi was more than happy to give them all a very thorough walk through of how to clean an ambulance properly, and how to ensure everything was restocked in the entirety... with zero regret. The more they grumbled, the more he pointed out their mistakes, remaking them do everything all over again from the start. It made for excellent therapy, leaving feeling mildly better as the night came to an end. Now all that was left was to go home to Eren, and Viren. Then to climb into bed, knowing Viren would come crawling into his bed for cuddles. * It was a few days after the Erwin incident when Eren came padding into their room. His mate wasn't in a great place mentally, he'd accidentally caused Eren to faint with fear. By simply coming home mid shift after forgetting some paperwork he'd brought home to finish. Looking up from the book he'd been reading, his omega was shirtless and pale "Levi, I don't feel good" Placing his book down, Levi made space at the edge of the bed. Eren must have been feeling like death warmed up as he waddled over, and sat beside him as if he'd forgotten he needed space "What's wrong?" "I feel hot" Raising his hand, Eren took it, placing it to his forehead "You feel clammy. Any nausea? Dizzy spells? Headaches? Or vomiting?" Vomiting could be stress, as could the clamminess "Vomiting... and I can't sleep" "When was the last time you slept?" Eren had to pause to think, shaking his head tiredly "When I fainted?" "Brat, that was two days ago. You need to be resting" Two days ago and he'd woken half an hour later "I can't sleep" Shifting further over, Levi pulled the blankets down "Come here" "What?" "Come here. You can't sleep because your mind is over active. You've hit over tired, and I won't have that. It's not healthy for you, or for the pups. Now. Come here" Sliding down, Levi patted the spot next to him "I don't think I can sleep..." "Then just lay down next to me and rest" "I might freak out" "And I'll be right here if that happens" Crawling into bed, Eren grunted as flopped down beside him, before scooting back into his hold. His head resting on Levi's arm, as he wriggled against him "Now close your eyes" "I can't" "You can. It's not hard" "I can't stop thinking" "Then think about me" "This is stupid" "It's not stupid. You're going to get some sleep, and then I'm going to make you something to eat. When did you last eat?" "I... everything I eat, I've been throwing up" "Have you been having shakes?" "They don't really stay down either..." "Ok. Sleep, then food. I start at 9 tomorrow, so we get an extra 2 hour sleep in" "Why 9?" "I'm supervising the students at the moment, and they have an exam in the morning" "What time does this exam start?" "7" "That's not humane" "They need to be able to cope with a lack of sleep" Eren sighed softly, his mate's breath tickling as goosebumps erupted along as his arm. In the silence of their room, the gurgle Eren's stomach gave brought a smile to his face. He wasn't necessarily laughing, but the sound had been completely unexpected. In his arms, Eren pushed himself out of his hold "Eren?" "I'm going to be sick" Doing a semi-shuffled run, Eren rushed from their room. Levi pushing back the covers completely, following his mate into the bathroom. Eren was kneeling in front of the toilet, dry heaving as nothing came up. Moving to sit behind him, Levi kissed Eren's shoulder as he rubbed his left arm, trying to offer a small measure of comfort "Eren, it's not healthy to be dry heaving like this. You're too exhausted to be trying to deal with this" Gagging and spitting, Eren's words fell between his mates desperate attempts to vomit "Tell that to my stomach" "Have you tried your pills?" "Threw 'em up" "Let me call Mike? See if he can give you a shot for the nausea and something to help you sleep?" "I don't want to go to hospital" "I'm not talking about taking you to hospital..." Though he was severely tempted to. Not sleeping and constant vomiting was no good for Eren, or the pups "... I was thinking I would explain your systems to him, and see if he can give you something to help" "I don't know... What if Erwin... well, you know..." "Mike is enough of a professional that he wouldn't allow it affect his work. Besides, I doubt he would approve of his husband's behaviour" "What if he comes with him?" "Then we let Mike in, and leave Erwin out in the hall" "He has keys" "The bolt can't be opened with keys..." Guiding Eren back from the toilet, his omega have a weary sigh "I'm so tired" "I can see that. Let me take care of it all, ok?" "I'm too tired to say no" Levi kissed Eren's clammy cheek "Good boy. I know you think you're going to be sick, but I doubt it. The only thing you're bringing up is spit and bile" "That's two things" "You know what I mean. Let's get you back to bed?" "I don't want to mess the bed up" "I can take a little mess" Like the putrid puddle Eren had left when he'd wound up in hospital... looping Eren's arm over his shoulder, his omega whined weakly as Levi started lifting him "I'm sorry" "You're ok. I'm here, and you're ok" "I just need to sleep" "I think we both agree on that. Why haven't you been sleeping when Viren is?" "I can't... I can't stop thinking" "That's never a safe thing" "You're an arsehole. Fuck... I'm tired" Did Eren not know he was repeating the question? Or was it for emphasis? Even if he'd asked, Eren would probably just blame it on his fatigue "You did the right thing coming to me" "I didn't want to disturb you, but I didn't know what to do, and I feel so messed up. I guess... I guess I really need a hug" "I will give you all the hugs you could ever want" "Ugh. I'm too tired to hit you" "If it'll make you feel better..." "Hugs are nicer. Even my omega's too exhausted for this shit" Not wanting to risk calling Mike and having Erwin answer, Levi sent their friend a text asking for help with Eren's lack of sleep and vomiting. By some minor miracle, Mike was awake, promising to come check in with Eren. Undoing the bolt and chain, Levi rejoined Eren in their bedroom. Sitting in his original position, he let his omega move his head to his lap, nuzzling into Levi's leg as he got comfortable "Mike said he'd come round" "I feel bad for disturbing him" "He's married to Erwin. He's disturbed enough" "I really didn't want you two to fight" "I know. But what he did was wrong. He needs to sit down and think about everything" "You make it sound like he's a three year old" "Viren has better manners than him. Have things be ok?" "He's going back to missing you all the time, and taking it out on me. If that's what you mean?" "Why didn't you tell me?" "Because he doesn't understand what he's doing is wrong... and I'm so tired, I don't know what to say or do anymore. Besides, I needed space. I still need space. I'm just..." "So tired you need a little help?" "That makes it sound like I'm using you" "No. I didn't mean it like that. I don't like you feelings sick, but I do like being there for you" Resting his hand on Eren's hair, he didn't know what else to say. His mate was adorable. Even when they weren't talking and had this stupid distance between them, he still loved his omega. There was so much for Eren to take in. Not only the trial, but the specialist appointment in a couple of days. Perhaps it was a blessing Eren was too tired to be thinking about it. Levi had done some more online research. With the wonders of modern medicine, the pup could be aborted without harming its twin. It could also be delivered ahead of time, though the survival odds were low "You're too much for me" "I wouldn't say that. I left the door unlocked for Mike" "I feel bad annoying him..." "All I did was ask if he could come 'round, he could have said no" "Mmm" Poked, prodded and injected, Eren was finally sleeping. Levi stroking his hair as he did, his mate finally looking relaxed and peaceful. Having brought their only dining chair in from the living area, Mike waited until Eren's was finally asleep before venturing into the Erwin matter. He'd avoided both the trial and the baby thing, while Eren was awake. Not that Eren was talking. He'd frozen when Mike walked into the room, and stayed silent right up until he fell asleep "Erwin didn't tell me he hadn't talked to you about the trial" "Aren't you two supposed to be married?" "So you knew?" "When he first brought it up, I agreed he should hold back from telling you, due to the miscarriage. What I didn't know was that he didn't talk to you about it after. Not until he came with a bruised face" "He deserved it" "I'm not saying he didn't. I assume this all came as a shock" Levi snorted "Yeah. A shock. You could say it like that. The night Eren gets out of hospital, Flock came right over and dropped all this shit in our lap. This is the most time we've spent together in the last week. He can't sleep and he keeps throwing everything up. Floch reckons he has to testify" "He's in no condition to testify" "Your opinion doesn't count. I'm hoping we can get a letter from the specialist about this. I've already told him I'll take him to whatever doctor or therapist they want us to see" "Does Floch know?" "He knows it's a high risk pregnancy, and it was clear from looking at Eren, that he can't cope with this right now. His nerves are shot to shit" "Floch never struck me as narrow minded" "Of course he's narrow minded, his head is firmly wedged up his arse" "Is that your medical opinion?" "This isn't the time for jokes" Mike shook his head "I suppose not. What can I do to help?" "This. Eren won't go back to hospital, unless it's kicking and screaming. He's been holed up in his room instead for the most part. He's been avoiding me, but he's too exhausted to fight right now. And if we can't keep him from testifying, it's going to be one hell of a fight" Mike paused, the man tugging on his jacket sleeves acting uncharacteristically nervous "I know you don't want to talk about it, but have you discussed..." "He's not having an abortion. He's already said as much" "He may not have a choice" "You're right. I don't want to talk about it" "Eren should be out for the next 10 to 12 hours. And you have work?" "I do... I'll have to take Viren in with me" "I can take him to Hanji's" "My shift's from 9 to 3" ""She starts at 1. And I'll be on already" "Who's looking after Anna?" "I'm not sure. She usually brings her here... I'm sure we can find a sitter at the hospital" "Eren would love that. Viren in hospital. He wouldn't even stop to hear why, before kicking up a storm" Thinking about it, a knowing smile formed on his lips "What's with the look?" "I was just thinking about how the idiots on placement haven't worked with children before. They've been into the field, but they've never had to handle children before. Let alone a cranky three year old" "Will your boss be ok with it?" "I'm in charge of their training. They need to learn that dealing with a child isn't like dealing with a small adult" "I'm glad you're not my boss" "Then it's a good thing I won't be there much longer" "I mentioned that to Erwin. Apparently it slipped your mind to tell him" "I have yet to tell anyone. Other than Eren and my boss. I asked her to keep it quite" "And you weren't going to tell him?" "It must have slipped my mind, like the trial slipped his" "I know you two have had your disagreements..." Levi let out a chuckle "You mean. You've seen how overbearing he's become to the point where he feels the need to continually insult my life choices and my mate? I appreciated everything he did for me, but I have never appreciated his words against Eren" "He really does worry for you. It has caused more than one fight between us" "It wasn't my intention" "No. No. It's not you. It's him. Erwin just has a hard time letting go" "Are things still going well between you two?" "Three. Eld is back in the equation" "I thought you two agreed to close the relationship" "We did. Until... You probably don't want to hear it" Levi stroked Eren's hair, tucking it back behind his ear. It was getting long again. Not that he was complaining. He loved running his fingers through Eren's long hair "I'm not going anywhere. Besides, it's the least I could do. You did drop everything to help Eren" "He's been a good influence on you. You've softened since meeting you" "Erwin doesn't agree" "Erwin is rather disagreeable" "Are you supposed to say that about your husband?" "Probably not. Things have been easier with Eld around, but it doesn't feel like a real relationship with the three of us. I don't know how they make it work. No matter what happens, someone's feelings are hurt, and someone feels left out. But the sex with Eld is great" "I didn't need to know that" "All I'm saying is, you and Eren are lucky to have each other. You've both been able to help each other through your issues" "I know. I never thought I'd have someone like him in my life" "I think that's why Erwin can't understand. Before you had Eren, you had Erwin. I think he felt that he'd forever be chasing your footsteps. He also doesn't understand the bond between an alpha and an omega" "I never asked him to. And there a plenty of nonalpha/omega relationships" "Yes, but the dynamic isn't the same" "No two relationships are. Eren thought we were over. He seriously thought I didn't love him, and that we were done. Now, when I ask him anything about the wedding, he says he doesn't want to get married. This trial is something we really didn't need" "He wants to marry you. He's wanted to marry you since you two first decided to be you two. You were so good to him. You took your time to talk to him, saw him as more than an omega. Eren trusts you to make the right decisions for him. He knows you have his best interests at heart, and even when he's pushing you away, he knows you'll do the right thing... Erwin... Sometimes I can't help wish that Erwin took a leaf from your book" "I wouldn't say that..." "You didn't. I'm saying... Actually, I don't quite know what I'm saying. I wish Erwin would open up and make an actual attempt with relationship" "You're making it sound like being married is the worst thing imaginable" Erwin and Mike had been so in love at their wedding. Both men soft and gentle as they spent their reception in a world of their own... It'd only been a few months since they'd wed. How could things have possibly gone to shit so fast? The Then again, the days had been moving impossibly fast with everything happening between him and Eren... when Eren wasn't keeping his distance that is "No. Not the worst thing. I think for Eren, it would be the best thing that ever happened to him. It would give him security for his future" "I know that. But I want to marry him, because he's my whole world. Not for stupid reasons like his dynamic" "Yet, if something was to happen to you, the government would probably seize your assets and prevent Eren from inheriting anything" "I don't plan on dying any time soon" "You know what I mean. A bond may mean something to us, but it means nothing to anyone with that much time on their hands" Honestly, Levi really knew nothing about how inheritances worked. When his uncle had died, it'd only been a few weeks, and a single meeting with the man's lawyer, before the funds left to him had been moved into his account. Eren's hadn't been quite that simple, as his father hadn't been dead... but they'd still payed out... after being shot, he'd made sure his will was updated. Everything he had would be left to Eren in the event something happened to him. If something happened to both of them, it'd go to Hanji. Any money from the sale of the apartment would go to her for the care of Viren, while their money would be held in trust until Viren turned 18 "You're a depressing arsehole, you know that, right?" "I didn't mean to be. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry for my husband's actions" "You're not to blame. Erwin had plenty of time to do the right thing, instead he was insufferable at work. Constantly brooding and biting his tongue, I guess we all know why now" "Daddy?" Both Levi and Mike looked to the doorway, a very sleepy Viren was holding his teddy to his chest with one arm, while rubbing at his left eye with his free hand "Hey, baby. What are you doing out of bed?" Stumbling towards them. The boy's pyjamas pants were in danger of being pulled down each time he stepped on the hemming. Reaching Mike first, Mike went to help the boy, only for Viren to start getting grizzly "Viren, it's ok. It's just Uncle Mike. He came to take a look at mummy" "I want daddy" Looking down to his lap, he really didn't want to move Eren from his hold. His mate was hurting so badly that he was touch starved, he missed Eren's warmth "Viren, you need to sleep in your own bed tonight. Mummy's sick" "Mummy's always sick" Mike tried to calm the angry toddler "Viren. Your mum is having another two babies. You're going to be a big brother. He's not sick because he wants to be, it's because he's making your siblings" "I don't want them. I didn't do it" Pouting at them both, Levi sighed at his son "Viren, just for tonight. If you go back to bed, daddy will give you a super special treat in the morning" "I want to stay here!" "But then what am I going to do with that special treat? It'd be a shame if I couldn't give it to a good boy like you" "What kind of treat is it?" "A very special one" "Cooler than my bike?" "Nothing is cooler than your bike" Viren sighed "I miss my bike" Levi bit the inside of his cheek, trying to be a stern parent and failing just a little "If you go to bed right now, I promise I'll give you that treat when you wake up" Viren let out a very Eren huff, before nodding "Good boy. Now off to bed" Running out he room, Viren was forced to stop, pull his pants back up over his nappy, then continue running. The kid was an adorable mess "His words have gotten much better" "Yeah. I noticed that too. There's something's and gaps we still have to put together, but he can make his wants and needs known most of the time" "Well. I better head off too. If anything happens during the night, let me know. He should be fine. I would say bring him in... but we both know he doesn't want that" "Thank you. He really appreciates it, so do I" "You're both welcome. What's the point of friends if you can't message them in the middle of the night and drag them out of bed and away from their snoring partners. Make sure you get some sleep too, Levi" "Yeah. Late start, so I'll get a couple of hours in. Don't forget to lock the door on the way out" "Got it. Let me know how your students go with Viren. I don't know if they're going to find it much of a treat" "Hey. My son is delightful" Mike laughed softly "When he's not in a bad mood" "It almost sounds like you hope he will be" "Me. Never. Goodnight, Levi" Left alone with Eren again, Levi rearranged them so Eren was laying with his head on the alpha chest. His stomach is as propped up by Levi's hip, with one leg pulled across Levi's lap. Things shouldn't be so bad that they had to resort to drugs for his omega to sleep, but it was relieving to know Eren would finally get some real sleep, his mate was so soft and warm, Levi unable to stop from gently rubbing his mate's swell. Even if their second pup needed a little help, he was still so proud of them. Of both pups and Eren for carrying them... he was even a little annoyed that Eren was only half way through his pregnancy. He wanted to meet his two pups. He wanted to watch them grow and develop their own tiny personalities... and fuck, he really hoped they'd look like Eren. His mate was stunning, no matter what he thought. * Having left a note for Eren, explaining he'd be home around 3, he'd left breakfast for his mate. Levi would have liked to stay, but Viren woke up in a hyperactive mood. He'd been woken by the boy jumping on the bed, a little too close to Eren for Levi's liking. His mate hadn't moved at all, still curled into him as he snorted softly. Who would have thought snoring could be soft and adorable. Work with Viren had been an experience. His boss hadn't been impressed until he explained how those on placement hadn't had the chance to work with a child. The two female students that seemed to have a crush on him, had gotten over it when he'd made them clean. Within 10 minutes, Viren had them wrapped around his little finger, and he was back to being called a DILF while his partner was gossiped about non-stop. If Eren was up to it, he would have loved to have brought him in to work. He would have loved to show his omega off, and rub it in their faces that Eren was the only one he'd ever be interested in... aside from the fact he was gay and they'd never stood a chance. Viren played his part perfectly. He loved the attention. Each small trip or fall had then placement students gushing over him, giving them plenty of experience with a happy toddler, and a demon child. Eren was awake when they came home. For the first time in weeks, his fiancée was fluffing around in the kitchen. Titan sitting on the edge of the kitchen counter, watching the organised chaos caused by Eren's cooking. Giving them a small smile, Eren looked beautiful. Flour was dusted across his cheek, and down his shirt. His hair thrown up in a messy bun, but the smile was hypnotic "Hey... is he awake?" "No. He passed out in the car on the way home. I'll put him to bed then come help you" "I'm ok. I'm just making bread rolls. Take a shower" "I will, I just need to do something first" Laying Viren down in his bed, and making sure his teddy was in his hold, Levi then headed into the kitchen. Coming up behind Eren, he wrapped his arms around his mate's stomach, kissing his shoulder as he did "Is this ok? You smell sleepy, did you get enough sleep?" Eren turned enough to kiss the side of Levi's head, before going back to the dough he was working "Yeah, just don't make any sudden moves. I'm still a bit tired, so it's an early night for me tonight. I've already messaged Mike and thanked him" "What time did you wake up?" "Around 2. I haven't had a shower yet. I was going to leave the dough to rise while I did. Tell me about you day" "Viren went over well. He had them all under his control" "I bet he did. Your boss wasn't mad, was she?" "Not once I explained that I thought it would be a great learning experience. The students don't often get a chance to work with a child. Do you mind that I took him?" "No. He's definitely a daddy's boy. If he's stayed, he would have had to put up with me sleeping" Rolling the dough into two seperate balls, Eren split them, placing them in two bowls then into the oven. Levi shuffling around, not ready to let his mate go yet "Now to let them poof up. I thought you were going for a shower" "I am. Like I said, I had something to do first and it was hugging you" "You're lucky I'm drugged" "I thought you might be feeling better..." "I am. Thank you. I'm sorry I came climbing into your bed like that" "Eren, it's our bed. And I am more than happy to have you climbing into our bed" "I was feeling so sick that if you'd offered me a cardboard box, I probably would have climbed into their" "Then I'd just have to bring that box home, and give you bath" Eren shook his head, his fiancée moving to turn completely towards him "I would kill for a bath" "Then why don't you take one? I'm home. I can watch Viren" "It seems like too much effort, and the hot water would probably just make me feel sick" "Have you been eating and drinking?" "I had a shake. I was planning on having an early dinner" "Do you want to come take a shower with me?" "I'm sorry. I'm not up for it yet" Levi leaned up, kissing Eren on the cheek "It's ok. I just thought you might... never mind" His face must have betrayed his disappointment. Standing in their kitchen, Eren was looking down to him so lovingly... he'd thought that maybe Eren would let him in a little, now that he was physically feeling better "Lee. I'm not saying I'm never going to shower with you again. I'm still try to work through my thoughts about testifying" "You don't have to" "We don't know that for sure. I was hoping we could talk about it" "Are you sure you want to? Your specialist appointment is coming up, and you don't need the extra stress" "It's because it's coming up that I need to have all the information I can... each day, it's coming closer. I don't suppose you've heard from Floch?" "No. As far as I'm concerned, the ball's in his court. I told him we'd see any one he wanted us to, for a second opinion" "I know. I was there" "I know you were. I don't plan on doing anything at all without talking to you about it first. If you want to take a shower first, I don't mind waiting... I don't mind waiting for you. I'll wait as long as you need me to" "I know you will. I'm sorry I'm taking this so badly" "I don't think you're taking it as badly as you could have" "I feel like crap about it all" "I wish you didn't" "Go take a shower. I'm making homemade burgers for dinner. I'll make you extra for work" "You're too good to me" "Lee, I love you. And baking taking my mind off things..." "Oh. So I'm a distraction?" "Yeah. But the best kind of distraction. I just hope..." Eren bit his lip and gave a shake of his head "No. What were you going to say?" "It's lame" "Tell me anyway" "I. Uh. I hope the buns turn out as nice as your buns. It's stupid. I'm going back to dinner" "You like my buns?" "Not if you're going to be like this" "You think I have a nice arse?" "No. You're an arsehole" Despite the pout on Eren's lips, he could the tips tugging as the omega tried not to smile "You like my booty?" Doing a little butt shake finally pushed Eren over the edge. His omega letting out a laugh "Don't ever say booty again" "I won't if you admit you like my arse" "Fine. I admit it. It's a great arse, connected to an even greater arse. Now get out of the kitchen" "That was too easy" "It was either that or you saying booty again" "You love my gluteus maximus" "I will kick your gluteus maximus if you don't start moving. And when are getting a new dining table set, or at least chairs?" "If we only have one chair, that means you have to sit in my lap" "I don't like eating while sitting on the sofa, unless it's with Viren. I don't like the crumbs" "Which means you should just sit in my lap" Shaking his head, Eren walked away. Levi had gone too far with his joking again. Grabbing the dishcloth, Eren sighed heavily "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be sensitive about it. Can you give me a few minute?" "Of course. I'm sorry for pushing" "No. You shouldn't have to be sorry. I think I'm going to take another nap once the bench dries, and the rolls are done. I'm too tired and my omega is playing up again" It was times like this that Levi loathed Eren's omega side. His mate's omega should know by now that he was in a safe place and anything that Eren told him would never change the feelings he had for them. He knew Eren struggled with accepting his secondary dynamic, which meant a part of him wondered if this was revenge by his omega from not embracing his dynamic fully. Anything and everything Eren could ever want, he'd give freely and completely. His reward and greatest happiness came in a form of a blinding smile and the purest of joy that would radiate from his mate. It was like a drug, and he was hopelessly addicted "I can finish up here. You should rest" "I'll do it. All I've done is sleep" "Because you needed it. You still look exhausted. Beautiful, but exhausted" "If I take a nap, will you wake me in an hour?" Nope. He'd leave him to sleep "I can do that" "Lee. I don't want to sleep too much and not be able to sleep tonight" That really wasn't going to be an issue, he could tell just by looking at Eren "I know. How about I check in on you? If you're too tired to get up, I'll leave you sleeping Eren mumbled, tugging at his shirt hem as he did "Getting up hasn't been a problem..." "What was that?" "Nothing. Just pregnancy stuff..." Kissing him sweetly, Eren headed towards their room. While his omega's comment finally made it down to his dick... That horny little shit... great. Now he was definitely going to need a cold shower to get the image of a hard and slick Eren out his mind. * Climbing into Levi's bed, Eren was out the moment his head hit the pillow. His omega had been constantly buzzing in the back of his mind, telling him that Levi had taken Viren and left him for good. He'd thrown himself into cooking to distract himself from his rising doubts over Levi coming home. He didn't want to keep his mate away... but there was just so many things in his mind. Sleeping like the dead, he should have felt refreshed. His dreams were of Levi and Viren. For some reason they were on a cruise on a massive cruise liner. The whole thing was amazing, until it went the way of his usual dreams. Levi and Viren were both wearing tuxedos, their son's hair combed back to perfection as Levi carried him on his hip, their smiles so wide he was filled with more affection than he knew what to do with . The cruise liner crashing into a field of ice, the ship lurching sideways, and separating him from Levi and Viren as he was thrown into the frigid water. Sinking, all he could were other people sinking too. Trying to breathe, he swallowed down lungful after lungful of the salt water, his ears ringing with the pressure as he tried to fight his way up. He had to get back to Levi and Viren... yet all he did was sink. It didn't matter how many times he kicked his legs, or waved his arms like a moron, the sliver of light above him grew to nothing... watching as he sank, suddenly an arm reached down towards him. Grabbing the hand, he was pulled to the surface, only they weren't in the ice field anymore. He was in the bathtub at home, Reiner and Bertholdt standing over him. Pulled from bathtub, he was just about to hit the floor... Waking with a desperate gasp, Eren's heart was still racing as he came back to reality. Fuck. Fucking stupid dreams. It'd been so nice to begin with, and now it was rushing to slip away while leaving the lingering fear with it. Fucking wanker. Driving the heels of his palms into his eyes, he groaned at himself. Reiner and Bertholdt were gone. They weren't coming back. Dead and gone. Between his legs was wet with slick, and the throbbing in his dick wasn't something one would associate with a nightmare like that. He'd woken up just as horny the first time, ignoring it until he finally calmed down. It was because he was Levi's room, surrounded by his alpha's scent, but with Reiner and Bertholdt front and centre in his mind... he couldn't deal with the right now. Rolling back over, he curled around his stomach. He could feel the movements of the pups, and if Levi knew, he'd be right there hoping to feel the same. Nuzzling into the pillow beneath his head, he made a grievous error as Levi's scent filled his nose. Fuck... his alpha smelt so fucking good. The gasp that escaped his lips as a thick blob of slick gushed from him, was completely unwanted. His body was so confused. He'd been dreaming about Reiner and Bertholdt, now he was dripping with slick and ready to be mounted. He needed to be thinking about Levi. Levi was his alpha... not... those two... did... was this cheating? He couldn't control his dreams, but he'd woken up like this... even after dreaming about the pair of them... he'd... he was horny and thinking about two other alpha's... a long miserable whine slipped from his throat. Levi would be angry... he was his omega. He belonged to him. He didn't have anyone else. Levi and Viren were his family and this was his home. What did he do if Levi changed his mind about him? He wanted his alpha to want him. He knew he was hurting Levi each time a touch was too much. He didn't want to hurt him... "Eren" Pulled up from his protective ball, Eren continued to whine for his alpha as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. He couldn't breathe, but he sure as hell could whine without realising he'd continued to do so "Eren. I'm here. You're ok. You're safe" Cupping his face in his hands, Levi rubbed his cheeks with the pads of his thumbs "You're ok. It was just a dream. You're ok. Come on, breath in through your nose and out through your mouth for me" The moment he could follow Levi's directions, he threw his arms around his alpha, starting to sob in earnest "Please don't get rid of me. I didn't mean to dream about them" "Shhh... shh... you're ok. No one is getting rid of anyone" "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to" "It was just a dream" "I feel like I cheated on you... I didn't want to dream about them. I didn't... I hate this stupid body!" "Eren, it was a dream. A stupid dream. You didn't cheat on me. I know you wouldn't... you need to calm down for me" "I'm sorry... I'll be good. Just let me show you" "You're already good. So good to me..." Clutching Levi, Eren cried his stupidity out onto his alpha's shoulder. He shouldn't need Levi to soothe him like this. He was 24, soon to be 25. He was a grown adult male with a loving mate. Not the kid who'd been abandoned by everyone "Shhhh. I love you" "I love you too, Lee... I love you. I don't love them" "I know you don't, I know. I've got you" Crying himself out, he sniffled sadly. Each sob had sent more slick spilling. His whole lower half felt gross from it. His head felt gross from crying, while his back was sore from leaning into Levi. Sitting back, he let out a pathetic whine. His lip trembling as he looked to Levi, ashamed to mumble "I've slicked" "Do you want some help cleaning up?" He couldn't stomach the idea of showering with his mate, and yet Levi was still trying to help him. He didn't want to think about Reiner and Bertholdt... and he knew how good Levi's hands could feel... even when he wasn't in the mood. He was such a hypocrite. Don't touch me. Touch me more. Give me attention when I want it, then go away. And Levi... Levi was looking at him like he was the most precious thing in the world. No. He didn't want to be touched, but he also didn't not want to be touched. Hating himself, he nodded. Lifted off the bed by his mate, Levi carried him into the bathroom. His alpha letting out a moan as he pulled down Eren's pyjama bottoms and underwear. The smell of slick and arousal filled the room. He could see Levi was affected. His alpha's pupils were wide as he licked his lips, before realising what he was doing "I'll start the shower for you" Would it really be that bad to have Levi mount him? He was soaking wet and... he wasn't them. Turning, he placed both hands on the bathroom counter. Taking a deep breath breath as he did "Eren? The shower's over here" "I know... I just need a minute" "Hey. You don't have to force yourself. I can go" "No! No... Lee, I don't know what to do. I don't want to think about them, but they're in my dreams. My body has decided to betray me like this. I don't want to be touched, but all I can think about is you touching me and getting rid of the memories of them. I don't know what I want. I don't know" "Do you trust me?" Eren nodded as he sniffled "Good. Come here" He hadn't even noticed Levi had stripped. Guided into the shower, Levi wrapped an arm around him, crooning softly as he did. Nudging his thighs apart, Levi slipped his hand down, taking his dick as his continued to croon to soothe him. With his forehead on Levi's shoulder, he gasped softly at the feeling, before moaning as Levi began to jerk him off. It didn't take long before Eren came, the orgasm leaving him melting against Levi. Nuzzling and peppering kisses to his hair, Levi softly praised him. His alpha holding him tenderly until he could finally stand unaided. Cleaning his body down, Levi started by washing his hair and working his way down. It felt like his mate had found every single muscle knot and sore spot, working them until the tension eased. With his forehead against the tiles, Eren was pretty sure Levi wasn't actually getting him cleaned up. He could feel each flutter as more slick was expelled from body, but Levi never made to act on it. Even when he finally cleaned down his slick, the worst the alpha did was press a kiss to his butt cheek and tell him how perfect he was. Helped from the shower, Levi wrapped him in his towel, before fetching clothes for him. Drying his hair down, his mate again pressed kisses to his hair between the movement of the towel. Eren felt the most relaxed he had since coming out of hospital, that a purr began to rumble from his chest. Levi ignored the purring in favour of helping him dress. The alpha still wearing just as towel around his waist as he carried him through to his old bedroom, rather than their room. Laying him down, Levi stroked the side of his face, before tucking his wayward hair back "You're my everything, Eren. You're confused and you're hurting, but you haven't given up. I love you" "I love you too... thank you. I'm sorry I can't figure out what I want or need" "Eren, it's fine. Dinner will be ready in about half an hour. Viren was cranky when he woke up, so I put him back to bed. Do you want me to wake you?" "Um... can... you maybe stay?" "You want me to stay?" "I don't want to have another bad dream" Rolling away from Levi, Eren wriggled towards the middle of the bed. It took a few moments before Levi joined him, spooned up and holding him close "Is this ok?" "Y-yes... thank you" "I'll always be here for you, my Shitty Brat" "My Arsehole of an Alpha" Feeling for his hand, Levi interlaced their fingers once he found it. If he knew he wanted Levi, why couldn't everything else fall into place?

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 1x05-- Stoppable: Requiem for an Airdate

1x05 thoughts under the cut. 

This is big, guys: the first five word title in The Good history.

Did I accidentally press play on an episode of Law & Order? Obviously I didn’t, but TGF isn’t even trying to disguise the inspiration for this week’s case. It’s very clearly about Unstoppable, an unaired episode of SVU starring Gary Cole (yes, Kurt McVeigh) as a Trump-like figure. It’s so clearly about L&O that they’ve used the same font and titled the TGF episode “Stoppable: Requiem for an Airdate.”

In this episode, the COTW explores what it would be like if there were a suit brought against an episode’s writer who leaked the full episode online when the network refused to air it. Julius Cain sees this as confirmation the firm is “anti-Trump.” Adrian believes this is a first amendment issue because, he believes, political pressure is the reason the episode has been postponed. I believe that argument (though I think it would be hard to prove) but I’m not sure how applicable it is to the network suing a writer for distributing copyright material.

“Simple matter of fact, you voted for the man,” Adrian retorts when Julius tries to argue against him. Adrian, you’re going to need a stronger argument than that for court. Also, didn’t you promise Julius you would not treat him differently because of how he voted, and that you wouldn’t tell others? I’m sure word’s gotten around, but a little discretion, Adrian?

Diane walks in late and Lucca explains the case to her. The writer is an acquaintance of hers, and he works on “one of those Chicago shows.” They’re deciding if they want to take it.

Ugh Julius.

“Have you listened to anything the man said?” Adrian asks when Julius tries to defend 45 on the particulars. Thank you, Adrian.

Julius tries the “if it was Obama or Clinton…” retort. Nah, DON’T EVEN. This devolves into overlapping political rants as Barbara tries to get the men to calm down and Lucca quietly explains the case to Diane.

The lawyers have trouble coming up with an actual argument to use against the network. Diane suggests fair use, which seems weird to me because, in my very limited knowledge of legal things relating to copyright law, that’s what people talk about when they make gifsets and fan videos, not when they upload full length episodes. But I will set this aside, because 1) I don’t actually know anything about the law, and 2) The important thing here is that Diane is contributing to the conversation, reminding us all that she’s a good lawyer.

Barbara calls Adrian outside. “Adrian. Why are we doing this?” she wants to know. This is yet another one of those moments where Adrian’s leadership style rubs me the wrong way. He always seems to be making decisions without Barbara, and then catching her up to speed as though none of her concerns are valid and she needs to have everything explained to her. Barbara shouldn’t have to ask the question “Why are we doing this?” as frequently as she does. If they’re partners, she shouldn’t ever be asking that question in this context.

Adrian’s explanation is that he wants to get his foot in the door with all the Chicago TV productions (of which TGF, of course, is not one). I don’t like that he has to explain it to Barbara, but I like this explanation… and for once, it actually feels like the show is kinda sorta tuned in to things happening in Chicago.

Barbara accepts this explanation and changes the topic to Diane’s capital contribution, which they still haven’t received. “Hey, can that wait a week?” Adrian asks. You mean a week on top of the several weeks real time it’s already been? “Not if we want to be consistent,” Barbara replies.

“Okay, I need you to do it,” Adrian says. Oh? “How come I always have to do all the dirty work and you get to go and have fun in court?” Barbara wonders. Good question. Also, how come Adrian gets to assign tasks? “’Cause you’re so good at the dirty work,” Adrian answers. “I hate when you disguise curses as compliments,” Barbara says. I like that line. I don’t like that she’s still saddled with having to do what Adrian says, especially since every discussion between these two tends to end this way.

Kresteva arrives at RBK. He’s looking for Maia, and he wants to discuss the fake news. Yesha is there, which means either Kresteva waited around long enough for Yesha to get to RBK or Yesha was already there talking to Maia. If it’s the latter, again, I ask: DOES MAIA EVER ACTUALLY HAVE WORK TO DO?

“This article is completely false. It is untrue,” Maia insists. Kresteva won’t believe that it’s false, because someone in the article said they sold her jewelry. “Did you try calling the store?” Maia wants to know. This is logical. Who cares what someone said? Wouldn’t there be, you know, a receipt? Some kind of record? Surveillance footage? Kresteva makes me so mad.

“I just don’t understand how this article could get so much wrong,” Kresteva says. Yes, Mike, and I don’t understand how the novel I’m reading right now is about people who never actually existed. It boggles the mind.

“It makes up stories to encourage clickbait,” Yesha says of Fake News, which seems like a weird use of the word clickbait. The stories are made up to encourage clicks, not to encourage clickbait.

Kresteva has more evidence: the story is on 12 other sites, some of which are well-respected. “How do you account for that?” Kresteva asks. Ooh! Pick me! I know! I know! It’s one of two answers: 1) The legit news sources offered proper context for the allegations and said they could not confirm them or 2) The legit news sources only reported on this because the writers needed to say they did (Fake News is a real problem, but to my knowledge, Real News outlets reporting Fake News as fact is not as much of a problem). I guess there’s always a third option, that Maia did go on a spending spree, but I doubt that.

Like, I really don’t think a legit news source would think a fake story is fun and then run it without a disclaimer that it’s probably fake? The main problem with legit news sources in this day and age seems to be how they frame facts and what makes the front page (THE EMAILS, YOU GUYS, THE EMAILS) and what doesn’t.

But even Kresteva knows the jewelry story is fake: once Maia’s agitated enough, he asks her about a different story: one about her visiting her father in prison. Yesha chimes in to say she was there for that meeting; nothing happened. But Kresteva’s ahead of her, somehow (he shouldn’t be, since we know Yesha has a Maia Chumhum Alert!), and he means the other two visits. Yesha denies it, but Maia has to stop her, and Kresteva knows he has something.

And, as much as I hate Kresteva and his smirk and his lies, this was entirely predictable. You don’t have to be a Kresteva-level super villain to question Maia about something risky and likely illegal that she did without covering her tracks well. Hell, there’s probably security camera footage of Maia with the Schtup List! Sorry, Maia. I hate to let Kresteva be right, but… yeah.

Diane observes Kresteva leaving his meeting with Maia, and Marissa observes Diane observing Kresteva. “What’s wrong?” Marissa asks. She also says that “Mrs. Kolstad wants to see you now.” And, yes, Marissa said “Mrs.” Did Sarah slip up, or is Barbara married?!

“Are we in trouble?” Marissa asks. “Because I need this job.” Before I can even think anything snarky about how Marissa could probably charm/network her way into a different assistant job pretty easily, Diane sarcastically replies, “Oh, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“We’ve had to make a difficult decision here,” Barbara begins. “Uh oh,” Diane says. “That’s what we tell associates when we release them.” You’re on the right track, Diane.

Barbara levels with Diane about the capital contribution, and Diane says she understands. If they don’t get the contribution in a week, Diane will have to be “of counsel” which means (I had to look it up because, shockingly, seven seasons of TGW didn’t teach me everything I could ever need to know about the law!) that she’d be affiliated with the firm but not an associate or a partner.

Diane accepts this too, and then warns Barbara they should get a lawyer for the firm because Kresteva’s questioning Maia.

Yesha asks Maia why she went to see her father. GOOD QUESTION. Maia explains the Schtup List.

“So you do know, by doing this, by helping your father, you’ve implicated yourself in wrongdoing?” Yesha asks. I FUCKING HOPE MAIA DOES, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT AND I AM NOT A LAWYER.

“He’s my father. What could I do?” Maia asks. I am sympathetic. But you could, like, not implicate yourself. Why would your dad ask you to implicate yourself for his benefit? Why would he need Maia to get the information? Why wouldn’t his own attorney’s investigator be looking into this?

“You can keep yourself out of jail,” Yesha says, which is more of a warning than an answer. The stakes have changed. Maia’s not looking at bad publicity that makes her look like a spoiled rich girl. She’s looking at jail time now.

I’m starting to have a Maia problem, show! I like the idea of Maia—a privileged young woman who’s gone through life without ever having to worry about making big choices or being able to provide for herself who’s suddenly faced with a scandal that destroys everything she thought she knew about the world, her parents, and the things she’s taken for granted. I like the way Rose Leslie plays Maia. I like Maia’s relationship with Amy (a lot, and I need it to come back on screen soon). What I don’t like is the execution of Maia’s plots. Outside of the first two episodes, where she had scenes with Amy (again, #BringAmyBack), Maia doesn’t seem to have an interior life. She doesn’t like being harassed—okay, but who does? That thread needs to be pushed farther. What is the harassment doing to her? Are her friends calling her up, wondering if all the bad things are true? Is the harassment feeding into the self-doubt she’s experiencing as a result of having her world turned upside-down? Is it making it hard for her to concentrate at work? There are so, so many ways the show could go deeper here.

Instead, we just see the surface. We see that there’s a lot of harassment and fake news, but not how Maia takes it. We see that she’s not working (no, I’m not letting go of this) but we don’t see any plots about why someone in her situation might, understandably, have trouble focusing. We see her getting involved in conspiracy drama a lot, but we rarely see her questioning her parents (y’all, we shouldn’t need to see Lenore fucking her brother-in-law and Henry implicating Maia in the scandal to understand why Maia might mistrust them). We see her sitting in the office, but we don’t see anything about what it’s like to be a 25 year old who’s been in school for as long as she can remember finally entering the workplace in her first job. We see that she and Diane work in the same place, but, outside of Inauguration and that scene in The Schtup List where Diane encourages Maia to talk to her mom, we don’t see Diane mentoring her and we don’t see how they interact.

The writing for Maia is just not there. And that makes me sad, because it’s like the writers aren’t even trying. There are no botched attempts at deepening her character—no, the attempts we’ve seen are actually quite good! The problem is there are very few attempts at all! How can a show that’s so good at characterizations so consistently miss the mark with Maia, and during the episodes where it counts the most?! Maia is always off in her own world, involved in a conspiracy I’ve known about for less than a month and am already tired of, and… why?

(I think I said this last week, but omg, PLEASE PUT MAIA ON A CASE ALREADY. COTWs are wonderful things, structurally, because they necessitate character interactions. Have Maia do some research for Lucca. Or have her in court, observing and offering her recommendations when appropriate. Literally anything that gets her feeling like part of the show and not like a girl who’s never faced consequences continuing to behave like she will never face consequences.)

(I don’t believe that’s necessarily how they’re trying to portray Maia. That’s just what I think the writers run the risk of by having Maia never actually working.)

Kresteva meets with Henry Rindell. Boy, that police brutality task force sure has a wide scope.

The woman representing the network in the COTW is someone that I suspect will become a recurring character if this show runs for longer than these first ten episodes. She feels both pleasant and aggressive. Her name is Amber Wood Lutz.

And the judge is someone who has apparently been in four episodes of TGW, but aside from thinking he looks vaguely familiar, I don’t have any impression of him.

Diane is considering downsizing her apartment again in order to get her capital contribution together. (Doesn’t she only have a week? She can’t sell her apartment in a week, can she?)

Someone’s there to see Diane: It’s Kurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marissa offers to stay and take notes. Heh.

“She’s… chatty,” Kurt remarks after Marissa leaves. “She is that, “Diane replies. Diane doesn’t quite know what to say to Kurt, but she looks happy to see him. I really hope these two can work it out, because they’re so good together.

“You called?” Kurt reminds her. Diane denies it, but Kurt saw the call “last night.” Wait, that call towards the end of 1x04 was the day before 1x05? (I’m really bad at not nitpicking the timeline.)

Diane calls it an accidental dial, but we know the truth. (Last week, I wondered why Diane hung up after only letting it ring once. Guess that was intentional after all!)

Kurt’s there to ask a favor: he’s giving a speech to the police association and wants Diane to take a look at it. Couples revising speeches/pieces of writing is apparently something I am very, very into so this request makes me happy.

Kurt leaves Diane a gift, which she opens, curiously. It’s a gun, and I think she likes it.

Case stuff happens. Amber makes the point about fair use being about brief excerpts. Thanks, Amber!

Now they have a co-exec producer on the stand and there must be some inside jokes going on here. It somehow devolves into writer dude and co-exec producer dude screaming at each other about Yale and Princeton. I’m amused. Especially by the fact that the judge agrees that he hates Yale. For a second, I thought he must be the Harvard judge from 4x02, but he’s not.

Fair use doesn’t work, but Adrian isn’t ready to give up.

The next scene is simply bizarre. Adrian, Barbara, Diane, and Lucca (I guess because they’re ones Kresteva is targeting) interview a lawyer. It’s some white dude who rambles a lot, and then begins to rap??? I’m not sure what’s going on or why it is happening or what the hand gestures accompanying it are, but I’m here for the confused/stunned/trying not to laugh reactions it receives.

It’s Lucca who decides they should call Elsbeth. This is weird, as Lucca has not (as far as I can recall) ever dealt with Elsbeth and Diane has used Elsbeth to help several times. But, whatever.

At the restaurant where the interview takes place (which they’ve filmed at several times), Diane runs into Neil Gross. He calls her over. She asks how he’s doing. “Harried, angry, worried,” he replies. Diane tries to make conversation, but Neil keeps cutting her off—he likes the sound of his own voice; he likes seeming like a friendly guy but ultimately just talking about himself. He is interested in Diane’s firm because it’s all African-American.

Neil whispers to Diane that he’s looking for a “fighter” and wants to come to her firm. This feels very planned out, no? He happens to know where she works and happens to show up at the same restaurant?

Elsbeth is working on her own again, and now she’s rented office space in a children’s dentist’s office. We don’t know it’s Elsbeth at this point, but it couldn’t be anyone else.

Elsbeth still has the same laptop with the foam flower stickers that she’s had since season 1. Does that thing still work? Adrian finds this incredibly weird, which, fair.

And then Elsbeth appears! She greets Lucca like they’ve met before, which I’m 99% sure they haven’t. Elsbeth mentions that she’s been in the hospital, and that there was disagreement over whether or not she was sick. I just rewatched her first scene in 7x15 (skimming through for Elsbeth/Lucca scenes) and she mentions high blood pressure there—a connection?

Then she remembers to greet Adrian, and by greet I mean she says, “God, you’re tall” and while looking surprised.

I love Elsbeth.

“Our firm needs a lawyer, and Alicia once gave me a piece of advice,” Lucca begins. Elsbeth looks so delighted to hear Alicia’s name that it makes me smile even more than hearing Alicia mentioned usually does. Though Lucca is offering Elsbeth a compliment—Alicia’s advice is to hire Elsbeth when you’re in trouble—Elsbeth doesn’t respond to the compliment and instead responds to the mention of Alicia. “Alicia Florrick? I like Alicia. How is she?” Elsbeth asks.

But, TGF is determined to withhold that information. To that point: At the mention of Alicia, Elsbeth’s Alexa-like robot, Ada, begins to play Alicia Keys, interrupting our shot at hearing more about Alicia Florrick.

This moment made me cry when I watched it this morning. Yes—it made me cry. I knew TGF wasn’t going to give us updates on how/what Alicia’s doing, and I also know that’s exactly the approach I want it to take. But what I didn’t anticipate was that Alicia would be referenced multiple times in almost every episode and alluded to frequently. And I certainly didn’t realize that every time there’s a suggestion of an Alicia reference, I would move just a little closer to the screen, clinging to the hope that I’d find out just a little more about my all-time fave.

That’s why this scene hit me as hard as it did: when Elsbeth asked how Alicia was doing, I wanted to know, too. I was even a little hopeful we’d get something and nervous it wouldn’t be an answer I wanted. But before I could fully process my excitement, Ada began to play Alicia Keys. It was unexpected and funny, but it also took me out of the show. On the one hand, it’s Elsbeth quirk. On the other hand, it’s the show clearly maneuvering so that it doesn’t have to answer questions about Alicia. Ada playing Alicia Keys is reminiscent of the car horn that blares just as a witness is about to swear on the stand or the title credits in 5x10 coming in before Robyn can finish saying “holy shit.” It’s censorship on a show that’s uncensored. And it’s entirely self-imposed. Maybe I’ll be wrong about this, but my takeaway from this gag was that nudity’s fine now, the f-bomb can be dropped freely, and cases can be more overtly political: the only thing forbidden is sharing more of Alicia Florrick’s story.

And that’s why I cried, just a little. Because the set-up of this joke made me want more and then the punchline reminded me I can’t have it. And even though I know that’s for the best, I’m still sad.

I may also have cried from laughing at the absurdity.

Fantasia is still Elsbeth’s assistant—yay! I would love to meet Fantasia.

Elsbeth makes me happy.

Maia heads home; her dad’s been released on bail following his meeting with Kresteva. Maia asks why they changed their mind on bail. Henry replies with a lie—that he doesn’t know. Yeah, right.

I don’t know why Lenore is dressed the way she is, but alrighty then.

Henry says it feels like nothing’s happened now that he’s back home. Sure?

Maia says she can’t stay for pizza, she has to get back to Amy. This made think we would get to see Amy in this episode. Sadly, no.

Lenore steps away to answer a call, and Maia seizes the opportunity to tell her dad about her mom’s affair with Jax. Henry doesn’t seem to mind/understand fully. I would love to know what Maia’s relationship with her parents was like before the scandal. Did she always take her dad’s side?

Diane is looking at her lovely house in France again, and at the 1.5 million euro price tag. She then switches over to browsing cheap apartments in Chicago, and Diane, girl, whatever your search terms are, if that’s all you can find, THEY ARE THE WRONG ONES. There is a studio that doesn’t have a full kitchen for $1,500 a month, a room in a cluttered apartment with no furniture that’s $1,800 a month, a black and white picture of an apartment that boasts that it has “freshly painted walls” for $2,000 a month, and other options that are even worse. “Not happening,” Diane says. No, of course it’s not. I don’t know what kind of budget she’d be on after selling her apartment (I assume she owns) but I can’t imagine it would be so strict she’d need to live in a shitty studio that’s $2,000 a month. Try a different neighborhood, maybe?

Diane remembers she has to look at Kurt’s speech. It only takes a few lines before she realizes they’re going to need to talk this through. By the time Kurt arrives, the speech is covered in red marks, most of which say some variation of “SIMPLIFY!”

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Diane reassures Kurt as she pours him a glass of wine. Diane explains her changes are all focused on one point: that the speech is too technical. She reminds him he’s able to explain himself well on the stand. What I love about this scene is its specificity. Not only is it a wonderful display of how Kurt and Diane interact—Diane is comfortable challenging Kurt’s opinions; Kurt is a bit obstinate but ultimately able to incorporate Diane’s feedback because he trusts her—but it’s also written in a way that makes sense given the strengths of the characters. Kurt knows how to describe the specifics with the precision required of a ballistics expert. Diane knows how to identify the main theme of a document, simplify it, and spin it into a story—because that’s what she does as a lawyer. And, not only does she know how to rewrite it, she knows how to work with Kurt, like she would if he were a witness, to get him to be the one to rewrite it. It’s collaborative, reminds the audience where both of the characters strengths lie, feels true to the personalities of both characters as well as the relationship they have, and we get to hear enough of the speech that it’s convincing—and apparent—that Diane and Kurt have significantly improved it by working together.

Case stuff happens. Network lawyer Amber ends up saying “fuck you” as she leaves a “settlement talk.” How professional.

Case stuff happens.

Elsbeth is creeping on Kresteva in a diner. Have I mentioned yet that I love Elsbeth? Whatever issues I had with overuse of Elsbeth or the shtick getting tired in the last few seasons have totally disappeared. I! LOVE! ELSBETH!

Case stuff happens and they go after someone important. Also, Colin appears to watch Lucca and he makes silly faces at her. Lucca gives him the finger behind her back, which makes me wonder if anyone sitting in the gallery behind her noticed.

After court, Amber warns Adrian that his strategy about going into entertainment won’t work if he’s going to embarrass important people in the business.

Meanwhile, Colin compliments Lucca and advises her not to be sarcastic in court. “This is so helpful, being graded, thank you,” she says sarcastically. “I think we have a sarcasm problem here,” he replies. Heh.

Colin tells Lucca he tried to get Kresteva not to go after her firm. Lucca just walks away. Colin calls her out on not thanking him, but Lucca explains that things have gotten worse and Kresteva’s still coming after them. Colin is not happy about this.

The TV writer is really pleased that Lucca was awesome in court, the kind of awesome you only see on lawyer shows. Not that we’re watching a lawyer show, or anything.

Adrian’s thinking about settling now, even though everything’s going well. He’s worried about what Amber said.

Meanwhile, Diane spots Marissa chatting with Neil Gross. Of course Marissa is chatting with Neil Gross. If Marissa was comfortable making small talk with Colin Sweeney, of course she’d be comfortable talking to Neil Gross.

“Look at this place! A real African-American law firm,” Neil Gross observes, sounding like he’s looking at a museum exhibit or something. LOOK AT ALL THE CUTE LITTLE MINORITIES, HERE FOR ME THE RICH WHITE MAN TO APPRECIATE! Ugh.

“Everywhere you look,” he adds. Um, just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you can talk about people like that. Marissa unhelpfully but hilariously points out that everyone involved in the current conversation is white. Funny, that. Gross reaches out to the one white lawyer (okay, the one white lawyer who actually does work, NOPE NOT LETTING THIS GO UNTIL THE WRITERS GIVE MAIA WORK TO DO) at the firm when what he’s looking for is diversity. How about that.

Gross likes Marissa and wants her to stay and take notes. I bet he doesn’t meet many people that act like that around him.

Neil Gross uses the word fight five times in this scene—and once in the earlier scene at the restaurant. He says it so many times I was wondering if he’d say “Keep on fighting the good fight” at some point. Anyway, he likes that RBK is fighting against the network in court. So, turns out they weren’t auditioning for the entertainment biz after all. Unfortunately for Diane, Neil is saying this just as Lucca and Adrian are advising the client to stop fighting the network. Diane rushes to stop that conversation.

Elsbeth sits down with Yesha and Maia. Yesha insists that some of Maia’s issues are only Maia’s, to which Elsbeth says, “then she should quit the firm, because her issues are hurting the firm’s interests.” Thanks, Elsbeth! I don’t think Maia quitting would get the firm out of this mess—from what I can tell, Kresteva’s strategy is “go after RBK for anything under the sun until they stop taking police brutality cases and word gets out what the DOJ can do to you if try to go into that business”—but I’m a little surprised Maia hasn’t offered to quit. Maia’s scandal is bringing all sorts of trouble to the people who were kind enough to take her on and it’s jeopardizing the business they’ve put their lives into developing. I don’t know how badly she needs this job (for financial reasons or for her mental health—hey show, if you showed her working you could show that it was a constructive escape for her, just a thought) but it’s almost weird to me she doesn’t feel guilty about the position she’s putting others in. Maybe that’ll come later? Or maybe she’s just having trouble believing she could be that much of a liability? Or maybe that kind of obliviousness is part of her entitlement.

Alternatively, what does it say about me that my first thought in this situation would probably be, “I need to offer to quit immediately”? Maybe I’m the strange one here.

“Why is your dad out on bail?” Elsbeth asks Maia. Maia doesn’t know. Maia tells Elsbeth about the Schtup List. Elsbeth’s next question is if any of the names are connected to the firm. They’re not—Maia already looked them all up (smart! Credit where credit is due—Maia’s first thought was to look up the names and that’s also where Elsbeth’s mind went. If you’re on the same page as Elsbeth that has to be a good thing).

Elsbeth compliments Maia’s lipstick in the middle of a sentence. It really is a nice lipstick. That color looks fantastic on Maia, and it’s just bright enough that I can understand why Elsbeth likes it so much.

As Maia explains that her lipstick is either Dior or Chanel, Elsbeth pieces it together: the names on the list aren’t the connection to RBK—Maia is. She downloaded the list and implicated herself. The only catch, Elsbeth reasons, is that that would “require your father turning on you, and wouldn’t turn on you, would he?” Maia isn’t sure. Arrrrgh. As I said before, I hate that Maia is in the wrong here, because she’s just trying to deal with family drama and it’s unfortunate that these very normal trust issues are playing out in the public and with lawyers involved… but she is in the wrong and did make her choices.

After Elsbeth leaves—after cautioning Maia to be suspicious of her dad—Maia looks upset and Yesha looks like she wants to say something. She decides against it.

It’s time for Kurt’s speech! He has, indeed, taken Diane’s advice. And, even better—Diane shows up to support him! He does a good job and his delivery is great. Diane looks on from backstage, proud. Once the speech is over, Diane compliments Kurt. He kisses her; she kisses back.

Fortunately for Maia, her dad has not turned on her. He still asked her to implicate herself, but he hasn’t given up her name to Kresteva. How do I know this? Because Kresteva says so in a vague, blink-and-you miss it line as he arrives home for the day. “Rindell’s still reluctant to give up her name.” And then, after a response we can’t hear: “No, just a more aggressive posture.” So, sounds like Kresteva cares about the Schtup List and causing panic at RBK than actually getting Henry to turn on Maia. But it also sounds like he strongly suspects that Maia is how Henry got his hands on the list.

So, fun fact about Kresteva’s house: It was once Jonas Stern’s house. I doubt it’s supposed to be that way in-universe, but it’s definitely the same one When Alicia, Will, and Diane went to after Stern died. I recognize the Frank Lloyd Wright inspired décor. (This also makes the show feel more like Chicago than usual.)

Kresteva arrives home to find his wife drinking and chatting with Elsbeth. They just happened to hit it off at Trader Joe’s when Elsbeth introduced herself as a “friend from work.” And now Elsbeth has all sorts of access to Kresteva’s personal life. But access isn’t the point: Elsbeth is showing Kresteva she’s not afraid, that she can make things personal too, and that she’s a step ahead of him.

Well, access might be the point too, since she’s been in Kresteva’s study.

And she left her business card on his desk (she calls her place of work “The Tascioni Firm”) so there’s no way he could possibly miss that she could have had access.

“Stay for dinner,” insists Deirdre Kresteva, who is currently drinking wine and eating ice cream out of the carton. You mean to tell me they haven’t eaten yet?

Mike walks Elsbeth out and threatens to have her disbarred. But Elsbeth doesn’t take uncalculated risks like that: she has something on him.

And, if you need proof that Elsbeth is the best ever (and that she’s perfectly suited to go up against Kresteva), she got an audio recording of Kresteva threatening her, which means he can’t lie about it! FINALLY. I wish everyone could say, “Yes, you did” and whip out an audio recording when Kresteva starts with his bullshit.

Kresteva calls it an illegal recording, and Elsbeth says it’s not because it’s used to contradict a lie. I’m pretty sure that of the three times we’ve seen Elsbeth make recordings, she’s cited three different reasons why it’s legal, but I don’t really care because I’m so excited about someone being able to refute Kresteva’s bullshit alternative facts.

In court, Adrian is now clearly auditioning for Neil Gross. This involves some hyperbolic comparisons that don’t impress the judge.

But the speech doesn’t matter. 45 tweeted about the case, and now it’s a First Amendment case. This is an important case for the show to have its characters win. It sends a clear message: it’s possible to fight back and win. (And the show is practicing what it preaches by being overtly political.)

Amber is pissed about her loss and tells Adrian it won’t help his business. Lucca wonders if that’s accurate—seems Adrian hasn’t looped her in on the Chumhum thing.

Lucca and Colin are having milkshakes, as promised. Colin asks Lucca to tell him about herself. He says he’s shared everything about himself and his family, but knows very little about Lucca. “There is nothing about me,” she replies. Nope, no way that’s true.

“Are your parents happy that you’re a lawyer?” Colin asks. “I guess,” Lucca replies. Colin complains that the conversation feels like a cross-examination. He has to ask if her parents are still alive, she’s that reluctant to share! (They are.)

He asks who her best friend is. Her reply is curiously phrased: “I don’t have a friend.” She doesn’t say she doesn’t have a best friend, and she doesn’t say that she doesn’t have friends (which would be the responses I’d expect). She says she doesn’t have “a friend.” I don’t know where I’m going with this; I just found her use of the singular “friend” weird.

And she repeats it, because Colin doesn’t believe her and makes her say it again!

Colin doesn’t believe her, and starts staring at her oddly. “What? Please don’t say you’re gonna save me,” Lucca teases. “No, I’m gonna kiss you,” Colin replies. “Okay,” she says as he leans in.

“Then I’m gonna save you,” he jokes. Heh. I can’t say I’m interested in Colin or learning more about him, but I don’t dislike him. My only fear about his character is that he’ll share the bulk of Lucca’s non-work related screentime, but that has very little to do with Colin as a character. And, I like that he has a personality outside of “Lucca’s love interest.”

They end up making out against a car, and the alarm goes off. They don’t care.

Cut to a really creepy shot of Lucca kissing Colin in bed. It took me a second to figure out what this was an image of (I must’ve had my screen on low brightness).

She decides to share some information about her life. To be more specific, she decides to share her feelings about her friendship with Alicia. “I had a best friend,” she begins. “Who?” Colin asks. “A co-worker,” Lucca replies. “He or she?” “She.” “Had? She’s not a friend anymore?”

“I think she is,” Lucca states. An odd thing happened when I watched this scene: I realized that the only part of TGF that’s actively harmed by Alicia’s absence is Lucca’s personal life. That’s not to say that Alicia needs to come back in order for Lucca to be complete or that this isn’t the right strategy—I trust that as Lucca and the show both get distance from Alicia, this will become much less of a problem, and it’s not a big enough issue to warrant an appearance from Alicia.

But, seeing how important to Lucca her friendship with Alicia was confirms something that many doubted in season 7: that Lucca didn’t just exist to be Alicia’s new friend without any interior life or problems of her own. Most of the discussion I saw about Lucca last year revolved around whether or not she was the “New Kalinda,” and it drove me crazy. Yes, Lucca was added to the cast because the show needed Alicia to have a female friend to talk to, and yes, she joined the show right after Archie left. But that was never all there was to Lucca. It’s just what dominated the discussion about her.

Watching Lucca in TGF feels like a counterpoint to those arguments. I’ve always thought Lucca’s friendship with Alicia was as much about Lucca as it was about Alicia (my 7x13 discussion of the laundry room breakdown scene makes this point), and I’m happy to see that TGF is embracing that aspect of the relationship. Nothing Lucca’s saying here feels new to me, and that’s fantastic. She’s mentioned before that she doesn’t have friends (she specifically says this in 7x13), and her loyalty to Alicia in season 7 suggested that she doesn’t take friendship lightly. It would be weird if Alicia’s absence didn’t affect Lucca, so I’m happy to give the show a little bit of leeway here. If the show has to be vague about Alicia’s whereabouts in order to develop Lucca without reopening The Education of Alicia Florrick, fine. I get why the writers would want to take that approach.  

“I don’t make friends easily,” Lucca explains. “Why not?” Colin asks. “I don’t like to get hurt,” Lucca says. Lucca’s answer explains something I’ve been wondering about. Lucca is a friendly, nice person. She’ll stick up for others and offer her help. She has a social circle. She’s comfortable talking to people she doesn’t know, and she’s good at banter and small talk. Why, I wondered, doesn’t she have friends? It’s only after watching this scene that it clicked: being friendly and having friends are different things. And there’s a difference between being someone people would want to be friends with and actually being friends with people. I was missing the fact that Lucca intentionally maintains distance. (I know I keep going back to that 7x13 scene, but really: the certainty with which Lucca insists Alicia commit to their friendship is important. “I mean, do you have a ring or anything? I’ll commit,” she says. How fucking huge was that, for both Alicia and Lucca?!)  

I don’t know what to make of “I don’t like to get hurt.” I don’t take that line to be about Alicia, since Lucca does say she thinks they’re still friends (maybe Alicia’s traveling and hard to reach?) and since Lucca’s reluctance to form friendships predates her first meeting with Alicia, so what’s she referring to? Is this a fear or did something bad happen? If so, what was it? Actually—I care less about what it was and more about when it was. Middle school? High school? College? After that? Did a friend actively hurt her, or was it a different type of pain? Some sort of loss? A best friend who moved? A friend who drifted away just when Lucca needed her to be there the most?

“You afraid I’m gonna hurt you?” Colin wonders. “No, I don’t get hurt by boys,” Lucca explains.

If we do have to sit through most of Lucca’s personal life screentime being shared by Colin, at least they’re using it to develop other elements of Lucca’s character, too.

Diane is looking at more real estate postings, and I feel the need to share that her search terms are even worse than I thought, since one of the places she’s looking at is in UPSTATE NEW YORK. It says it’s a 1.5 hour commute to the city, but I don’t think that means Chicago…

Kurt spent the night at Diane’s! He notices the moving boxes. Diane tells him she’s looking for a change. She doesn’t explain the financial constraints she’s under, but he can sense that she’s not packing up because she just decided to. He offers to let her move in with him.

She declines the offer. “It’s my problem,” she explains. Kurt accepts that answer and kisses her goodbye. As much as I’d love for Diane and Kurt to make it work, I’m glad they’re not moving in together out of desperation. They need to keep working through their issues, and I’m pleased (but not surprised) to see that Diane doesn’t want to rely on anyone to get her out of her current situation.

Diane shows up at work with an update on Chumhum. They’re going to get Neil Gross and his $58 million a year. Adrian wants to know if there’s a caveat, and there is. With a smile on her face, Diane explains that there’s a small one. “I like this firm a lot. I think it’s got a great future. But in good conscience, I can’t encourage Neil Gross to come here if I’m only of counsel.” I’m 100% with Diane on this one. Adrian, Julius, and Barbara want to postpone that discussion, but this makes complete sense to me. Why should Diane bother to bring in a $58 million/year client if she’s not going to have any equity in the firm? Out of the goodness of her heart?

It’s Diane’s next request I’m more skeptical of. She asks to be made a name partner. I have three very contradictory thoughts about this. The first is that Diane is not being unreasonable; she is a huge name, she’s landed a gigantic account, and shouldn’t be a junior partner in the first place. The second is that despite this, Diane makes this power play with little concern for the culture of the firm that took her in when no one else would. It’s the lack of awareness that concerns me more than the request. I take no issue with her wanting her old status back and wanting a seat at the table. I just wonder what kind of tone this will set for the firm, going forward, now that Diane’s suddenly gone from a junior partner with a moderate amount of influence to a name partner. As a junior partner, she’s already hired two white people without giving that a second thought; what kinds of decisions will she make as a name partner? Is she aware of how her presence on the masthead will change public perception of the firm? Does she care? The third thought is just that this is so fast. I was hoping to see more than five episodes’ worth of Diane fighting to stay afloat and adjusting to that lack of power. I was particularly hoping to see more plots about her interactions with Barbara, and while those plots won’t go away if she becomes a name partner, they’ll be different than what I was hoping for.

Adrian says they’ll have to check with the full partnership, but the answer is yes. I’ll believe this is really happening and there’s no last minute catch when I see Diane’s name on the wall and not a second earlier. Tbh, with this show’s track record, I might not even believe it then.

“She’s gonna be trouble,” Barbara says as Diane exits. Indeed.