#anti Oonoki

[mixelation]

reborn au: end of the chunin exams (some notes + 3k writing)

tonight i've been trying to choreograph the end of the chunin exams. to review, tori and kushina attempt to sneak off to retrieve morino ibiki from captivity during the tournament, but kushina is captured by iwa. tori manages to run off, and they mostly let her because she's a dumb genin child.

things that happen that i didn't write:

tori also has chakra poisoning, and he manages to mitigate the effects by reactivating her anti-genjutus seal, bc it basically scrambles her chakra. this means she's limited in what jutsu she can do.

deidara and itachi are fighting each other in the tournament, so tori has a while to sit in the stands and Plan

tori realizes that even if they rescue kushina and get away, iwa will blame them for any violence and this could turn into war. her solution is to track down kisame and mangetsu and have a hysterical break down about iwa kidnapping her sensei. she doesn't ask for help but she DOES ask they tell the mizukage what happened

she also convinces mangetsu to give her a scroll, which she makes a seal in

when she gets a hold of itachi and deidara, they have an argument about priorities. tori only cares about saving kushina, but itachi wants to complete their mission, and deidara points out they're loose ends iwa will be hunting down as soon as they get an opening

they end up splitting up: tori goes to get morino, itachi goes to find kushina, and deidara goes to distract iwa by showing up to the tsuchikage's booth (where he's entertaining foreign guests) and screaming at him. tori tells him to make sure he lets the foreign guests hear about iwa kidnapped his sensei, and then also don't blow them up???

deidara briefly fights oonoki and them flees to find tori. tori can't transport morino via jutsu without kushina, so they load him on a bird and fly out of iwa in search of itachi and kushina

itachi uses the power of genjutsu and murder to basically walk out of iwa with kushina. but because deidara made a huge scene, iwa knows there's an escape attempt and they send the demolition corps after them

and then this is what i wrote:

Tori peered over the side of the bird. The wind battered her hair, strands partially obscuring her vision. Kushina seemed so, so far away, a little smear of violent red curled up at Itachi’s side. 

“Shit,” Deidara swore next to her. “Do you know if Itachi still has his mangekyou?”

Tori had no idea. She didn’t remember him mentioning it at all. She didn’t see him getting out of this alive without it. 

Tori had her seal in Mangetsu's scroll all ready to go too, just in case. Its weight on her belt suddenly felt like lead. She had the solution, but she was up here, when she needed to be down there. Her eyes stayed focused on Kushina, like if she stared hard enough, the solution for instantaneously getting her seal down to them would magically appear. 

Are you a kunoichi or not? she heard Kushina ask. 

Oh, right. 

“As soon as I've activated the seal,” Tori told Deidara, getting to her feet. “Go nuts. But don’t jostle Morino too much.”

“What seal?” Deidara asked, but Tori was already diving off the bird. 

Tori had always been a little bit nervous, right before jumping off a diving board. But once her feet were off the board, she’d always felt the nerves vanish as she gave herself up to free fall. 

This experience was not like that at all, possibly because the fall was long enough that Tori had enough time to realize she was about to seriously hurt herself. What was she supposed to do for extreme falls? Relax her limbs and push out a bunch of chakra and pray? Who on earth could relax in a situation like this? 

Also, she didn’t even have access to her chakra.

“ITACHI!” she shrieked as the ground rushed to meet her. She pulled the scroll off her belt.  “CATCH ME!”

Itachi turned, and Tori caught a split second of his horrified face before she slammed into him. The scroll went flying as they rolled together, catching itself in the surrounding thorny shrubs. There were shouts of alarm from the Iwa-nin around them, and then a flash of red as Kushina made a belated movement towards them. 

The seal activated, and the shrubs unfolded around them. Tori heard a yelp of surprise from Kushina as the shrubs curled away from them, spindly branches raising up and flooding the air with chakra. A pink doom formed around them, just in time to absorb the first explosion.  

Itachi rolled off of her, sending her a disparaging look. More explosions harmlessly bounced off the barrier. 

“You dislocated my shoulder,” Itachi accused. 

Tori sat up with a lot of effort. She had definitely fractured a few things herself. 

“I know how to fix that one,” she told him.

“Tori,” Kushina said, eyes wide as she stared up at the dome. “What the fuck.”

But the barrier was solid, enclosing them in relative calm as the explosions outside suddenly ramped up. Deidara had joined the fight. 

Itachi shot Tori several withering looks as she set his shoulder, but besides a single grunt of pain, he kept his mouth shut. Kushina got very uncertainly to her feet and wrapped her knuckles against the barrier. 

“Why’s it pink?” she asked. 

“Because…” Tori answered, “someone… told me I couldn’t make it pink…?”

Kushina let out a single, loud laugh. 

Deidara’s assistance did not last as long or as thoroughly as Tori had hoped. He was unable to approach as closely as she knew he would if he weren’t also babysitting an injured man, and he wasn’t bothering with his more intricate sculptures that could aim better. His bird hovered above them, out of range of explosions from the ground, but he eventually stopped dropping his own bombs. 

“He’s low on chakra,” Itachi said, squinting up at the sky with his sharingan. “He’s likely choosing to maintain the bird over offensive moves.”

Deidara was a monster, but he was only eleven. Also, he might have fought the Tsuchikage earlier? Tori wasn’t sure how that had gone down. 

Kushina finally got shakily to her feet. “Does he still have enough to fly us out of here if we make an opening?”

“Yes,” Itachi said after a moment. “But, I don’t have enough chakra unless we–”

“Don’t worry, you did enough,” Kushina said, flashing her teeth. “I can take it from here.”

“But your chakra–”

“I’m over it,” Kushina assured them, cracking her knuckles. “Tori, take down the barrier and both of you get ready to run.”

“You don’t just get over chakra poisoning,” Itachi objected, but he did nothing to stop Tori from reaching for her scroll. Instead, he drew his sword with his uninjured arm. 

He didn’t end up using his sword at all. The moment the barrier flickered away, the ground exploded into gold chains, reaching up and whipping around them like the bamboo forest she’d grown up in. Itachi’s eyes widened slightly in shock, and Tori had to grab for his shoulder to keep from falling over. 

The disappearance of the barrier caused the number of explosions being hurled at them to ramp up, but the chains easily deflected them, even managing to throw some wads of clay back at the demolition corps. 

Kushina stood in the middle of it, red hair billowing around her, hands clasped in front of her to focus her chakra, which was fine, apparently, against all medical knowledge Tori had. 

“Due east,” she yelled at them. “On my mark.”

More chains fanned out, zipping through the hard earth like it was Deidara’s most moldable clay. Tori heard the scream of an Iwa-nin being grabbed, followed by another and then another. The screams cut off as soon as they started, bodies crushed by Kushina’s chains. The shrubs around them rustled as chains snaked through them, searching for victims, and as Iwa-nin started to flee. 

“NOW!” Kushina yelled. 

Itachi grabbed Tori's arm and ran. 

“Why are you so slow?” he snarled in her ear as they went. 

Tori had shut off her chakra. She wouldn’t be modifying her run with chakra at all. 

They didn’t need to be particularly fast, though. Kushina followed behind them, covering their retreat effectively. The movement in the shrubs stopped eventually. If any of the demolition corps remained, they’d gone still and silent. 

Deidara flew his bird above them, then eventually took it down low enough for them to hop on. A few minutes later, they were high in the air again, panting and staring at each other. 

She could not believe they’d lived through that, and gotten Morino and Kushina back. 

Then again, if anyone was going to do it, it would be them. 

“Kushina-sensei,” Deidara said after a few minutes. “You’re kind of badass, yeah.”

Kushina laughed. 

Deidara pushed himself to get them across the Earth Country border before he landed the bird. The bird dropped Morino less than gently, and Tori yelled at Deidara and hopped over the side of the bird to tend to her “patient.”

With the adrenaline faded, Tori was becoming more and more aware she was hurt. Her landing jostled her injuries and she let out an embarrassing squawking now. 

Morino blinked up at her, eyes glassy as he lay prostrate in the grass. Tori kneeled next to him to make sure his pulse was still normal. That god it was, because if it hadn’t been, she didn’t really know what she could do about that, besides maybe slap a stasis seal on him and pray. 

“Is Konoha recruiting insane children now?” he asked roughly. So, at least he was still alive. Tori smiled weakly back at him. 

Deidara’s bird poofed out of existence, and Deidara himself laid down in the grass as well. 

“We need to keep moving,” Itachi said, although he was also clearly exhausted. “Iwa will not want any of this to get out. They’ll have no issue crossing a border to pursue us.”

“Shut up, Itachi,” Deidara said. “Kushina-sensei, tell him we need to rest, and he looks like he could collapse at any moment.”

“Kushina-sensei,” Itachi said, turning to her. “Tell him– Kushina-sensei?”

Kushina was still standing, although she was staring unfocused off into the distance. 

“What?” she said, noticing her genin looking at her. 

“Are you alright?” Tori asked cautiously. 

“I’m fine,” Kushina said, then swayed in place a bit. Her expression faltered. “I, um. I’m maybe more tired than I expected.”

“This is why we need to move,” Itachi insisted. 

“He’s right,” Kushina said. She buried one hand in her hair, pushing it away from her face as her brows furrowed in thought. “What if… we cheated?”

“Cheated?” Itachi repeated. 

“We’re out of Earth Country, so I think it’ll be okay,” Kushina said, more to herself than to any of them. “He’s probably noticed we moved suddenly already, anyway.”

“What–” Itachi started to demand, as Kushina closed her eyes and made a hand sign. “Sensei, this is highly unprofessional–”

Itachi choked on his words when the Hokage appeared. Itachi also drew his sword again, in an act of panic which Tori thought was just a little bit funny. 

(Deidara, meanwhile, had sat straight up again.)

Minato appeared very tense, one of his three-prong kunai drawn, but he relaxed when Kushina threw her arms around him. 

“Darling!” she cried. “Darling, we’re fine, but everything went to shit.”

Itachi twitched a few times as Kushina leaned back from her embrace and started explaining everything to Minato. 

Ah, his inner control freak upset, Tori recognized of Itachi, and then haggardly got to her own feet to limp over to him. 

Probably as a result of jumping off a bird, her side was killing her. Breathing was only a little painful, but walking hurt. 

“Hey,” she said, poking Itachi’s side. “Why don’t you go see if Morino is stable for transport?”

Itachi scowled at her. Tori was more qualified to make that assessment on every front, and he knew it. But also she was giving him a mission-relevant thing he could do. 

“You have a really scary face,” Tori informed Itachi when he didn’t immediately answer her. 

“Oi, don’t baby him,” Deidara groused, having gotten to his feet as well. 

“I’ll be back in a flash,” Minato said, kneeling over Morino and setting a hand on his shoulder. “Welcome back, Morino-san.”

“Wait, Kushina-sensei,” Deidara said when Minato and Morino were gone. “Are you telling me you could have summoned him this whole time?”

(“Does he… have a catchphrase?” Tori wondered and was ignored.)

“Well,” Kushina said, blinking at Deidara. “I mean, yes? But Minato entering Earth Country would be an act of war–”

“WHO CARES?” Deidara yelled back at her. “Kidnapping you was already an act of war, yeah! Why the fuck didn’t you just summon him earlier?”

Kushina’s expression hardened. “Deidara, the last thing I want is for a war to reignite on my behalf. I know it’s hard for a kid to understand, but--”

“I understand that you think your ideals are more important than your team,” Deidara hissed, and Kushina looked taken aback. 

Oh, ouch, Tori thought. What a way to get directly under the skin of a Konoha-nin. She needed to de-escalate this as quickly as possible.

“Deidara, we’re all stressed,” Tori defended. “Kushina-sensei made the best call she could, and she knew we could handle--”

“Uh, no,” Deidara disagreed immediately. Then he grabbed Tori’s wrist and pulled her closer to himself. Tori winced as it jostled her movement. Turning back to Kushina, he said, “Tori’s your subordinate and a genin, and you left her to organize your rescue and the rest of your mission, when you literally didn’t need to.”

Tori was so shocked at Deidara suddenly defending her that she was momentarily at a loss for words. She didn’t say, But I could handle it, and you know it. She didn’t say, But if the Hokage had gotten involved, the situation would have become so fucked he’d probably have to pick one person to save and leave the rest. 

She didn’t get why he was upset about this one thing in particular, when he’d seen her run screaming through equally tricky situations before and come out fine. But… oh, he’d seen her cry, hadn’t he? 

Did he really care that much?

“My intention was never to put that much responsibility on Tori,” Kushina responded, just as Minato reappeared. “Tori, I apologize we never discussed this more clearly, but Itachi is an ANBU captain. The chain of command falls to him next.”

Minato’s head swiveled to look at them, clearly trying to piece together why the air had gotten so tense in his absence. Deidara gripped Tori’s wrist tighter. She was… very tired. 

“I think Itachi did technically take command,” Tori said eventually. She pulled her wrist free of Deidara. “And I appreciate you defending me, but I can make my own decisions about what I do.”

“I didn’t take command so much as Tori put a plan into motion and then told me about it,” Itachi deadpanned. Kushina, who had not yet heard their side of the story, looked startled at this revelation. “Speaking of which, Hokage-sama, there’s a few key things you should know before you do anything else.”

And that was that Tori’s first move had been to make sure as much of the international community knew what Iwa had done as quickly as possible. 

Both Minato and Kushina looked mildly horrified, which was not the reaction Tori would have predicted. She thought this had been a pretty good move, given the next thing they’d done was “fuck up as many people as possible.” Now whatever happened next, Iwa couldn’t claim innocence. 

“I don't think she realized how outside of her purview it was to make such high-impact claims to foreign powers,” Itachi said in his perfect monotone. “I apologize for failing to intervene earlier.”

You agreed with me! Tori thought, and Deidara bristled. 

“I’ll willingly take any punishment meant for this inappropriate behavior,” Itachi finished. 

Oh! Tori thought. He was on her side. Okay. 

Minato pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“We will talk about Tori’s fast and loose decisions about Konoha foreign policy later,” Minato said. “For now, I think I have to have a chat with whoever is approaching.”

The Iwa-nin, when they came into view, numbered about ten of whom Tori assumed were Iwa’s best and brightest, minus their Demolitions Corps, which may or may not exist any more. They froze on the horizon when, presumably, one of them recognized Minato. 

“Hi there!” Minato called, waving at the group. “Does your leader want to come over and talk to me?” 

No one moved. 

“Or do you want me to come over there?” Minato offered, projecting his voice across the field, and Kushina had to hold up her hand to hide a grin. 

Someone eventually paced over to them. It was a kunoichi with a somber expression and dark hair tied back in a tight bun. 

“That’s Kurotsuchi’s cousin,” Deidara whispered in Tori’s ear. 

“What are you doing outside of Fire Country, Hokage-sama?” the kunoichi asked stiffly. 

“We have a free passage agreement with Grass,” Minato said, friendly smile not slipping an inch. “And I’m helping my wife and her exhausted genin pass through. What are you doing here? Did you finally negotiate your own free passage agreement, or are you perhaps on a mission sanctioned by Grass?”

The kunoichi didn’t say anything, her lips thinning. Tori was pretty sure the free passage agreement was more complicated than Minato was making it sound, but it was more of a leg to stand on than Iwa had if this conflict moved to a more international stage. 

“I have to say,” Minato continued, “my team didn’t think very highly of your village's hospitality.”

The kunoichi resolutely lifted her chin and looked Minato in the eyes. 

“No matter what you do to us here,” she said, “the world will know you attacked us first.”

Minato raised his eyebrows. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I think the world already knows you attempted to kidnap my wife. My shinobi assured me they were very loud about it.” He produced a kunai from his sleeve and casually twirled it around his finger. The tag on it shone extra white in the sunlight. “I think Mizukage-sama would side with me pretty quickly if I lost my mind in a love-fueled rage, don’t you think? She’s supposed to be a bit of a romantic.”

The kunoichi had tensed, her gaze focused on the kunai. Minato twirled it one more time and then it disappeared back up his sleeve. 

“But, fortunately for you, my wife is fine and standing here, with me. Tell Oonoki I’ll be awaiting his apology and explanation, and nothing else.” Minato’s grin widened, showing teeth. “Now, run along, won’t you?”

The kunoichi retreated as quickly as she could and still keep her pride. The five of them watched as she rejoined their group, which then retreated. 

Finally, Minato sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. His gaze slid over to Tori. 

“Is Terumi Mei going to agree with me?” he asked, sounding tired. 

“Oh, definitely,” Tori replied. “I was pretty hysterical. Hoshigaki Kisame and his student definitely bought it, and Hoshigaki is supposed to be super close with the Mizukage, right?”

Minato’s expression turned vaguely long-suffering. 

“Do not take this as permission to do this again,” Minato said. “But that might have been a good call.”

He held out his arms and instructed everyone to take hold. Two seconds later, they were back in Konoha, in the Hokage’s office. Minato collapsed into his chair. 

“I want to give you three a break,” Minato said to the genin. “But instead I’m going to get you into a room and have you write a report for… for whatever you did. Itachi can make calls on what we need to know immediately.” 

“And what about me?” Kushina asked, leaning a hip against his desk. 

“You… get a private debrief,” Minato said. 

Deidara rolled his eyes and grabbed Tori’s arm, dragging her out of the room. Behind them, Kushina moved behind the Hokage’s desk and collapsed right into Minato’s lap. 

Itachi kicked a pair of chunin out of one of the small break rooms that were scattered around Hokage Tower, sending one of them off to get them paper and writing utensils. 

“And dinner,” he finished. “You can write off the expense to the Hokage’s office.”

The chunin ran off, not even questioning Itachi’s orders. Deidara sat, resting his feet on his table, and frowned thoughtfully at Itachi. 

“Every day you turn out to be more of an asshole than I thought, yeah,” he said. 

He didn’t sound upset about it, this time. He also didn’t complain when the chunin returned with a hot meal. 

Tori went automatically for the notebook the chunin also brought them. 

“I can just write the report,” Itachi offered. 

“No,” Tori replied, clicking the pen. “You suck at writing.”

[narutocharacterpolls]

ROUND ONE

DEIDARA vs UCHIHA ITACHI

Reasons for submission under the cut

Deidara

he is an artist!

his clay models are cute, fun and dynamic!

cool hairstyle and sick eyeliner job

set up the mood for the rest of Shippuden with his introduction + fight with Gaara

4 mouths

wants to kill Oonoki

anti-nationalist

bombed several lands just for kicks

likes to appreciate art

faced Gai and his team ARMLESS armed with a kunai IN HIS MOUTH and escaped mostly unscathed

NANOBOMBS

trained one eye to counter attack genjutsus

likes birds and winged animals

fought against Sasuke (A HUGE honor of any character Kishi could have thrown at him he chose his GOAT 🫡)

deranged blue eyed blonde representation

can make his mouth hands make out anytime he wants, power move of the century

caught a Jinchuriki and a Bijuu all by himself

wears a crop top

wears black nail polish

lost both arms and didn't bat an eye

almost strangled Obito

explodes anytime he wants

beefed with Itachi

wanted to kill Orochimaru

long haired men

hates the government

he's annoying to everyone

youngest akatsuki member

hilarious one liners

intelligent, strategic, dramatic, hot, cool

looks like Ino

Itachi

he has one of the most compelling, gut-wrenching and beautiful sibling relationships in the entire anime

despite showing it in a peculiar way he does love Sasuke and honestly that's based

not to sound like a dudebro but his jutsu is honestly incredible and his fights are very interesting and entertaining to watch. Susano’o in particular is very beautiful as well

created Easter Kakashi. Lol

an incredibly intriguing and complex character, there's so many layers to Itachi and all of them are sad

he was groomed from the age of four because the Konoha Elders saw that he had such an intense reaction to witnessing war and realized that they could make use of that

loved his family deeply despite it all

is the reason behind one of the best plot lines and character (Sasuke) of the anime

he gave up his entire life because he thought this was the only way to guarantee Sasukes safety

he stayed with the akatsuki solely so that he could keep an eye on Konoha and Sasuke and to prevent the akatsuki from harming Sasuke by attacking Konoha

pushed Sasuke to his limit in their fight just to be able to get Orochimaru out of Sasuke for good

"you've studied a lot. You're like a snake expert now" is SO funny and he was so genuine about it

he was SO young and had so many voices telling him traumatizing things left and right, and that he was the only solution on both sides

truly genuinely made as one of the most heart breaking characters and character relations to exist

eye bags are real and relatable

men with long hair

bro's GORGEOUS

he was traumatized and manipulated since his childhood and deserved sm better

he just wanted to make eggs for his lil brother!

idiot fool boy

he's supposed to be a genius but his emotional intelligence is in the negatives

even his father recognized that he was a good kid and had good intentions when he found out about what Itachi was doing

malewife

[al-hekima-madara-blog]

Ōnoki, the dysfonctional scale

I'm re-watching some Boruto ep recently, the Oonoki's arc. I had forgotten how the level of political hypocrisy among the 5 Kages is at its finest !

So Tsuchikage Ōnoki gave us during the 4th war, one of the most melodramatic talk no jutsu ever heard about "yeah this time we fight together for real reasons. And my stone of will is so strong this time, We are moral while you, Madara is such a obnoxious guy and such and such..." And honestly it was painful to my ear to listen, considering the amount of time Ōnoki in the past betray alliances and hang out with Akatsuki.

Anyway...15 years later in Boruto, he lost just one grandson not even during war, still having other member of his family alive like Kurotsuchi herself in position of power, still having your whole village simping for him, and he turns Madara-esque real quick. "Yeah I kill some innocent konoha shinobi but I have a plan for Peace, sorry not sorry, I gotta put me first !"

So everyone is pure evil for defending his cause until Ōnoki experiences himself pain? Now he has excuses for doing some collateral damages? No curse of hate involved, no genetical issue detected, no bitter karmic ancestors...

And his punishment was ... to be celebrate as a national hero after his death.

Now I understand better why Edo Madara was not listening to a single soul during this war. The man was over 100 years old, he already heard all their bullshit a thousand time. He was just here to try kicking Hashirama's ass and delete this world. He was on mission and doesn't have time for children.

I'm at this... to wish for Otsutsuki's to erase the shinobi system for good.

[fineillsignup]

Taking Chakra Nature to 11: some headcanons

Buckle up because it’s gonna be a long ride.

So one of the things that makes Naruto so attractive as a fandom (as opposed to as a franchise) is that there’s all this tantalizing potential that was never realized, just waiting for someone to pick it up and expand on it. In particular, some writers are worldbuilders by nature and some are just not. (Tolkien would be an example of a extremely worldbuilding-focused writer.) Kishimoto is in the “just not” category.

Chakra nature is a great example of a part of the Naruto world that could be taken up to eleven. Why? Well, there’s the good old “why not” reason, which is sufficient in itself, but also, people just love categorization. There’s a reason why people always want to sort themselves for Hogwarts houses, endlessly prattle about zodiac signs, and why the Naruto databooks include bloodtype. But they don’t! Include! Chakra nature!!!!

That’s frankly ludicrous. The chakra natures in the corner merely indicate which chakra natures that person can utilize, not which is their own nature; this isn’t very helpful because some people like Kakashi can use all five. Moreover, one of the very major characters of the franchise--the anti-hero, Sasuke--is shown to be fire natured yet to largely prefer lightning techniques, making it clear that chakra nature is not 1-to-1 correlated with someone’s most frequent jutsu.

And it’s not like Kishimoto would have had to do a huge amount of work coming up with chakra nature connections to personality and society, because these five elements already exist as a powerful Japanese cultural concept. 

He simply needed to connect that to the Naruto world and its characters.

But I guess I need to do all the work around here! :3c

Regarding kekkei genkai--I headcanon that even people with kekkei genkai have a primary nature, but you could also combine two natures instead.

Earth Nature (Earth, Dirt, Stone) 地 and 土

Examples of Canon Characters: ??? (I don’t think we’re ever explicitly told that a character is earth nature, although many characters use earth release) Examples of Headcanon Characters: Haruno Sakura, Oonoki, Deidara, Suigetsu, Sasori Personality Traits (not all found in each person obviously): Stable, stubborn, inflexible, endurance, short-tempered, wise, reliable, responsible, sense of perspective, patient, centred, literal Common Body Types: Mesomorphic (muscular); may be lean or broad; shorter than average (closer to hell); blunt fingers (but often surprisingly deft and precise) Climate Interactions: Earth natured people tolerate both heat and cold pretty well. When it’s cold they dress warmly and when it’s hot they dress for that too. Sensible. Japanese symbol: square; Naruto uses the kanji 土 rather than 地 for some reason; they both mean earth and the differences are too subtle to go into briefly Why does earth dominate water/water enhance earth? Earth stops the flow of water and can control its shape. Water can imbue earth with more weight and power, including fertile power. What does this mean for the Land of Earth? “That’s the way we’re going to do it. We’ve always done it that way.” The Land of Earth in my headcanon was the last and slowest great nation to centralize/organize, however, slow and steady may win the race as it has had very little internal conflict. Other Notes: Earth nature? In my Sakura? It’s more likely than you think.

Kakashi did the chakra nature test when Sakura wasn’t around and then, as far as we can tell, never even bothered to find out what hers was???? LOLsob. Tertiary materials like games usually make Sakura water natured, but I prefer earth nature for her. She definitely can use earth jutsu. Her personality, strengths and flaws, seems to fall along earth lines rather than water lines. In addition, I just like the balance of Team 7 when Sasuke and Naruto are fire-wind and Sakura is across the circle at earth; most of my headcanon teams follow that kind of pattern.

“Okay, but Suigetsu? Earth nature? Now you’re just fucking with us.” Not at all; I’m going after one of Kishimoto’s own weird choice to constantly remind us that Suigetsu is weak to lightning. Now I’m sure that Kishimoto just meant “if lightning strikes water you’re in for a bad time” and nothing deeper than that, but in the five elements pattern of domination, it’s earth that is weak against lightning jutsu.

There’s no reason Suigetsu can’t be an earth natured person who specializes in water jutsu, anymore than Sasuke’s fire nature stops him from specializing in electric jutsu. Perhaps, and this is all headcanon but it’s fun so just try and stop me, it is Suigetsu’s earth chakra nature that helps keep his body from completely falling apart and dissipating while he’s performing his unique ability to turn into water?

Water Nature 水

Examples of Canon Characters: Tobirama Examples of Headcanon Characters: Sai, Kisame, Hashirama, Kabuto, Personality Traits: Adaptable, flexible, progressive, curious, reactive, emotional, mutable, gullible, empathic, unstable, resilient, morose, sensitive Common Body Types: Endomorphic (soft, higher in body fat); taller than average; long-limbed with flexible joints; larger hands and feet with tapered digits Climate Interactions: Poor water nature people. They hate heat. They hate cold. They hate humidity. They hate super dry environments. Basically, they are volatile and easily bothered by all kinds of things, including temperature and climate. Japanese symbol: Circle Why does water dominate fire/fire enhance water? Water douses flame, obviously. Fire can turn water into steam, expanding its range and potential. What does this mean for the Land of Water? Oh my God, is the Land of Water ever volatile in canon! This can be bad obviously (hello, kekkei genkai genocide) but it doesn’t necessarily have to be so. The Land of Water went within about a dozen years from mass genocide of kekkei genkai to having a leader with two kekkei genkai (the criminally underused Terumi Mei). There’s no inertia here. You can’t ever relax, but you can potentially really change things, including people’s hearts and minds. Other Notes: none at the moment

Fire Nature 火

Examples of Canon Characters: Sasuke, Madara, Itachi, Obito, THE UCHIHA Examples of Headcanon Characters: Tsunade, Orochimaru, Jiraiya, Hiruzen (aka gee I wonder if drama will happen here); Guy Personality Traits: Passionate, reforming, self-righteous, ambitious, driven, creative, focused, confident, fragile, extreme, energetic, motivated, tenacious, greedy, proud, idealistic, resentful Common Body Types: Ectomorphic (lean); high metabolism; average height; great skin and hair (because of their great circulation); either super healthy or near death, no in-between Climate Interactions: Fire people are always hot. They are the people who wear shorts all year round and start a revolution with their tiddies out (yes I’m looking at you Sasuke). They are not particularly bothered by external weather. Japanese symbol: Triangle Why does fire dominate wind/wind enhance fire? Fire consumes air and becomes stronger, like canon tells us. What does this mean for the Land of Fire? I headcanon that because of its central location on the map and prosperity, the Land of Fire has the most diverse population in terms of chakra natures, so while fire nature is the majority there are still a larger number of other natures than most countries. (From a meta perspective, this also makes it more fun to write a Konoha-centric story.) However, the Will of Fire and Konoha’s idealism is a definite Big Mood and something that other nations notice. Other Notes: I imagine that this element is most likely to be the chakra nature of those whose bloodline abilities are strongly connected with Yang Release.

Wind Nature (Wind, Air) 風

Examples of Canon Characters: Y’already know who it is!!! (blaring air horn) Oh and Asuma. Examples of Headcanon Characters: Temari, Baki, Gaara, Chiyo Personality Traits: Free-spirited, distractible, innovative, unorthodox, open, relaxed, compassionate, empathetic, benevolent, charitable, loving, evasive, passive-aggressive, impulsive, withdrawn, avoidant, penetrating Common Body Types: Lean or muscular, average to short Climate Interactions: Throw on a shirt, and then a sweatshirt over the shirt and a cloak around the sweatshirt because wind people are always cold. “Cold hands, warm heart” often applies to them. They like heat and aren’t bothered by humidity or dryness. Japanese symbol: Crescent Why does wind dominate lightning/lightning enhance wind? Well, it doesn’t, because lightning as an element makes no sense. But void, on the other hand, does. Void is a vacuum, and air rushes to fill a vacuum without itself being harmed by the vacuum. What does this mean for the Land of Wind? Wind people have a lot of openness and caring but also voted Most Likely to Sulk for a Hundred Years When Things Go Wrong. The Land of Wind in canon appears to be the least naturally rich in the essentials of life (water, food, etc), and to have the most dickish daimyo, so it’s kind of unsurprising that the Wind leadership collectively got hella depressed after their one bad idea after another failed. Other Notes: They say in canon that the wind chakra nature is “rare” but I’m headcanoning that this just means “rare in the Land of Fire”.

Lightning (Electricity, Void, Vacuum, Nothingness) 雷 or 空

Examples of Canon Characters: Kakashi Examples of Headcanon Characters: Hinata, Neji, Shikamaru, Darui, Sakumo, Killer Bee Personality Traits: Mysterious, thoughtful, reflective, fatalistic, imperturbable,  spontaneous, quick, detached, aware, intuitive, selfless, passive, negative, wise, analytical, elegant, eccentric Common Body Types: Most diversity in body type Climate Interactions: The least bothered by external temperatures. Aware of them, but probably dresses however regardless. Japanese symbol: Jewel-shape Why does lightning dominate earth/earth enhance lightning? Again, it only makes sense if the element is void or vacuum. While air filling a vacuum is essentially unharmed, earth-y substances don’t handle decompression well. (Imagine if Lightning Release could be used for explosive decompression based jutsu... now that’s scary.) What does this mean for the Land of Lightning? “We’re talking about the issues but we’re keeping it funky” is a line from Flight of the Conchords, but it is also how I imagine a culture that is majority Lightning-nature people best functioning. Other Notes: none at the moment

All of the above is just some ideas to play with! And of course there’s the pondering about how chakra nature is passed on--is it genetic? Epigenetic (traits that can be switched on or off by environmental factors)? Do two people who have children together pass on the more dominant nature? Is that perhaps why Wind nature is rarest in the Land of Fire (because Fire and Wind parents will always pass on Fire)? What are the chakra nature patterns in the little countries?

Feel free to play with my ideas, expand, change them, whatever! No need for credit if you do.

[al-hekima-madara-blog]

Onoki's last opponent is actually his own clone with Madara haircut...

The disrespect.... 😭

Ōnoki, the dysfonctional scale

I'm re-watching some Boruto ep recently, the Oonoki's arc. I had forgotten how the level of political hypocrisy among the 5 Kages is at its finest !

So Tsuchikage Ōnoki gave us during the 4th war, one of the most melodramatic talk no jutsu ever heard about "yeah this time we fight together for real reasons. And my stone of will is so strong this time, We are moral while you, Madara is such a obnoxious guy and such and such..." And honestly it was painful to my ear to listen, considering the amount of time Ōnoki in the past betray alliances and hang out with Akatsuki.

Anyway...15 years later in Boruto, he lost just one grandson not even during war, still having other member of his family alive like Kurotsuchi herself in position of power, still having your whole village simping for him, and he turns Madara-esque real quick. "Yeah I kill some innocent konoha shinobi but I have a plan for Peace, sorry not sorry, I gotta put me first !"

So everyone is pure evil for defending his cause until Ōnoki experiences himself pain? Now he has excuses for doing some collateral damages? No curse of hate involved, no genetical issue detected, no bitter karmic ancestors...

And his punishment was ... to be celebrate as a national hero after his death.

Now I understand better why Edo Madara was not listening to a single soul during this war. The man was over 100 years old, he already heard all their bullshit a thousand time. He was just here to try kicking Hashirama's ass and delete this world. He was on mission and doesn't have time for children.

I'm at this... to wish for Otsutsuki's to erase the shinobi system for good.