#answered asks\

[aflowergarden]

I love croissants chair

Chair??? Chair?? Do I look like a chair to you. How dare you put this on my name. I'm going to fucking beat you with a chair you piece of shit. I'm going to fucking croissant your entire house. How do you like that. You croissant loving piece of shit. I hope you choke on one

[specialgradefckr]

nerd!gojo is so cute! please give him a kiss on the cheek for me.

you stare at the note you found in your locker. it's written in glittery purple ink, which only adds to the insult.

gojo, "cute"??? give him a kiss on the cheek???

like an ill omen summoned by its name, a terrible presence looms over your shoulder, "watcha got there?"

"hate mail." you say dispassionately as you quickly shove gojo away.

when you face him, you see gojo's face change - smooth features and rounded eyes hardening into anger.

"hate mail?" gojo frowns, "in your locker? who would send that?!"

"you want a list?" comes geto's snarky voice. "she's kind of a bitch."

you shoot him a glare, but gojo speaks before you can.

"don't talk about her like that."

the room feels a little bit colder. since when did gojo sound so... mean?

"i'm just saying," geto says, shrugging, "you'd know better than anyone, she's always on your ass."

"yeah, my ass," gojo turns to you, a pout on his face, "you're not bullying other people, are you? i don't have any other bullies."

only satoru gojo could get into an argument this stupid.

"no," you drone, "your drain on my time and attention is uncontested."

rather than being ashamed of this, gojo looks absolutely tickled.

even when you punch him in the shoulder, his good mood is undampened.

"nerd," you grouse, stalking off to your next class, which gojo naturally follows.

it sucked being in the same classes as him, but at least it meant you could get his help. he really is a huge nerd. all those hours you put into it, and he seems to understand everything effortlessly.

the class feels like it takes hours. you pay diligent attention, take so many notes, and somehow, gojo comes out of it completely chipper.

you're left in peace for a few blessed minutes afterwards as he bolts out of the room for some reason or another.

is he finally starting to fear you as his bully? took him long enough -

"here!" pressed into your hands, your favorite snack from the campus vending machine.

gojo smiles at you, that big, boyish smile that makes him look extra stupid. "sorry i messed up last time."

you don't know what comes over you. maybe it's pure delirium brought on by hunger. or the joy from having something nice to eat.

maybe it's a new form of torture, humiliating him by making him endure a kiss from his bully.

it's just a kiss on the cheek. it's whatever.

he stands there, still, face completely red, blue eyes wide in shock. gojo looks even dumber than usual, which shouldn't even be possible.

you fan your face for a moment as you turn to leave.

"come on, you idiot. we've got a test to study for."

gojo whistles some unbelievably stupid tune, practically skipping the whole way to the library.

"i can't believe it! she kissed me on the cheek!!! a real kiss!" "uh-huh." "don't uh-huh me, suguru, it was REAL! anyways, it all makes sense now. she was just hangry. no wonder she shoved me into a locker. it's my fault for not taking better care of her..." "would you listen to me if i reminded you that you're not dating and this is all pure delusion?" "not dating yet." "so a no, then," suguru says, rolling his eyes as he returns to his work. satoru's already finished with the homework and scrolling through his text message history with you, no doubt spamming you again with memes or pictures or just remarks. but you haven't blocked him yet, have you? suguru smiles to himself, closing his notebook, tucking away a shimmering violet pen.

[xocherrypop]

If I ever got arrested this is how I’d like the experience to be

[kamuch-kommando]

id really love to see your poseidon surrounded by his flowers, the poseidon rose <3

i loved it so much i finished it and made it my profile picture hehehe <3

(11.02.2025)

[wileys-russo]

Would you consider writing a fic about r comforting Mapi through all these allegations?

No. would you consider a brain transplant? because what the fuck is wrong with you to even ask that????? this is a real life situation. not a work of fiction. where a real person has been made to feel violated and harassed in her workplace. and then subjected to some absolutely disgusting slurs and insults i’ve seen hurled on X just this morning alone.

seriously, step away from your phone and seek some fucking help

[achromatophoric]

Wednesday: She’s quite disgustingly adorable when she’s sleeping.

Enid: *loud, obnoxious snoring*

Yoko: So cute.

Wednesday: She is radiant.

*AwoooOoooOooo*

Yoko: Aww, she’s even howling in her sleep.

Enid: *still snoring like a dump truck*

Yoko: 🤨

Yoko: Hold on, how’d she howl like that while snoring?

Wednesday: Bold of you to assume that was a howl.

Yoko: 😦

Yoko: ☹️

Yoko: Ew.

[thedemonofcat]

I’ve seen soulmate fics where being rejected by your soulmate makes you very sick.

And that is really unfair. I think the reverse should be true.

Geralt gets sicker and sicker after the mountain. Only his soulmate returning to him will cure him. Geralt doesn’t want to be controlled by destiny, so he stubbornly refuses to find them.

Eskel or someone begs Jaskier to save Geralt. Even though he’s hurt, the bard makes the journey to Kaer Morhen.

He finds Geralt barely breathing. He leans down and kisses the Witcher’s forehead, whispering that he forgave him.

Once he sees that Geralt is breathing easier, Jaskier leaves before the witcher can wake up.

After all, Geralt would surely send him away again. It would be rather silly for them to go through all of this trouble only to have to immediately repeat the experience.

"Jaskier!" Geralt shouted through the trees. The wind was picking up, a storm looming on the horizon. "Jaskier, where are you?" he called again, his voice rough with frustration and worry.

Jaskier—his beautiful, infuriating, perfect soulmate—was out here somewhere, lost in the mountains and forests surrounding Kaer Morhen. And all because Geralt had been too much of a fool to say something sooner.

After what felt like hours of yelling, a faint voice finally reached him.

"Over here, Geralt."

The bard’s voice was smaller than usual, almost meek. Geralt followed the sound and found him sitting against a tree, clutching his ankle. Even in the dim light, he could see the swelling.

"The snow covered the root—I didn't see it," Jaskier murmured, wincing. "I think my leg is broken."

"Let me see," Geralt said, kneeling. Jaskier hesitated before finally letting him touch his leg.

"Good news," Geralt said after a moment, his tone lighter. "It’s not broken. Just a bad sprain. There are plenty of beds at Kaer Morhen where you can rest." He reached to lift Jaskier, only for the bard to shove him away.

"I'm not going back," Jaskier snapped.

"You’ll freeze to death out here," Geralt argued.

"Better than having my heart broken over and over again when you get bored of me," Jaskier shot back, his voice shaking.

Geralt froze. Then, softer this time, he said, "I love you. I'm not going to break your heart." A pause. "Not ever again."

Jaskier turned away. "You love the idea of having a soulmate," he whispered. "You don’t even know me."

What he didn’t see was Geralt moving his fingers.

"Sleep," Geralt murmured, using Axii to lull him into unconsciousness.

As Jaskier’s body went slack, Geralt scooped him up with a sigh, holding him close against the cold.

"I’ll love you," he murmured, pressing his forehead to Jaskier’s temple. "Or any version of you. As long as you’re not frozen."

[spoopdeedoop]

what are your favorite c!Ranboo headcanons?

goodness idkkk idk there are so many interpretations of cranboo that i loveee….

i guess i like the ranboo w glasses one a lot . and i like thinking that they write poetry. and i was discussing this in a discord server that also i think that they mutter to themself in enderian sometimes and tommy can understand it because tommy just has a knack for learning and understanding languages and is therefore subject to stuff like this

cranboo weird weird weird weird weird little freak. idk

[toomuchbirth]

Love when people give inspired answers to asks~ A potent story of struggling against the desperate needs of her own body, the conflicting feelings that can come with unintended pregnancy...

Fortunetly, you're about to get the promotion you've been working for for the last 3 years to get. Unfortunately, you're also hiding that you're heavily pregnant with your boss's baby. You hadn't wanted to have sex, hadn't wanted to become a mother. You knew everyone finding out you were having a baby would end your promotion chances, if not get you fired outright rather than give you maternity leave. And that's not even considering your husband finding out you were due any time now with someone else's little drunken accident.

It's a celebratory dinner for your accomplishments, and you're dressed to just, just barely be able to hide your condition. Anyone looking too close or too long, and it'll become obvious you have a bump under this classy holiday sweater. That's not helping the mounting labor pains, however. They're getting so close, so bad. About ten minutes apart, and getting stronger, closer fast...

You know you have a speech soon, the moment they'll announce your promotion. Can you even risk being on that stage in your condition? What do you even do if you can't? How do you keep your husband from finding out you're having a baby?

The Boss’s Baby

[short story - 1269 words, fpreg, clothing birth, public birth]

I readjusted my knitted holiday sweater dress for the umpteenth time, pulling it out and down, trying to stretch the knit so it hung “loosely” over my curves. It was the only item that even remotely covered the swell of my belly, filled with a baby that wasn’t my husbands. He was with me this evening, my husband, sitting proudly at the table smiling about the promotion I was to receive. A very public promotion. 

The company held an annual dinner, recognising the business achievements of the year, but also putting the spotlight on individuals that had gone above and beyond for the company in the preceding twelve months. I’d certainly done that; managing to hide my pregnancy with the boss’s baby these past 40 weeks. But I was also being recognised for my work and would be very publicly announced as the next VP of the company in just a few minutes. 

My belly tightened again, harsh and unforgiving, and it took all my effort to keep my face from grimacing. Not to let out a moan or a groan as all the muscles in my heavy womb contracted and squeezed downwards.

Not now, please not now. I begged to the secret I held inside of my body. 

The timing couldn’t have been worse; this formal dinner was happening right at my due date. Well almost, my due date came and went last week. But still the babe in my belly stayed put, snug in my womb for another week. Until now. 

The pains had started this morning and as much as I willed them to go away - they only got stronger and closer together. Contractions. I was definitely having contractions, I was definitely in labour. But I couldn’t tell anyone. No one even knew I was pregnant. So I was forced to go along with my day even with the ever increasing tightness of my hidden belly. 

My husband noticed the tension in my body as I sat beside him at the large round dinner table, surrounded by colleagues and their partners. I said I was just nervous about my speech, when in fact the baby had jolted down so far that I almost wanted to push. That couldn’t be right. I couldn’t be that far into my labour, surely…. 

I quickly excused myself to the bathroom, trying not to waddle with the baby rammed deep in my pelvis. My waters broke as soon as I locked the door of the cubicle, running down my tights and into my stilettos. Fuck. My palms pressed against the door, my legs widened instinctively, and I groaned a deep primal noise as the next contraction pressed aggressively through my body. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I really wanted to push. It felt as if my hips were being snapped apart, the baby pressing down, right against my cervix. My hips sank down, my knees bending into a half-squat as I braced against the cubicle door. I couldn’t have this baby now... My boss was here, my husband was here…. I was about to become Vice President of the company. I panted through the urge and mercifully the contraction ended. 

I should have examined myself, checked my dilation, but the idea of taking my tights off seemed too much effort. And if I was being honest, I didn’t want to know. This baby simply had to stay put. I would make it to the announcement, do my speech, and disappear discreetly afterwards. My husband would just think I’d got caught talking work with colleagues. 

So I wiped my tights of fluids, shook out my shoes, and forced my legs together. And slowly I made it back to the table.  

I didn’t have time to sit back down, to sit beside my husband who was looking at me so proudly, as I was being immediately ushered to the side of the stage. My boss was behind the podium, dressed in his sharp designer suit, making a glowing speech about my achievements at the company. How I had worked hard and worked my way up the ranks. But I could barely hear what else he said when the next contraction struck. My body nearly doubled over with the force of it, my hand flew out and I leaned against the wall and I panted under my breath. Oh shit. The pressure, the urgency, the sheer weight of the head on my cervix was unbearable. I couldn’t stop myself from pushing. Right there beside the stage as my boss rattled off all my impressive achievements. And then he turned to me, smiling, unaware I was trying not to give birth to his baby, and he called me up on stage. 

The bright lights were scorching on my sweaty and sensitive skin, my jumper dress loose but aggravating every one of my senses. I could barely keep my legs together as I stepped on the stage and immediately I gripped on to the podium to stop myself from doubling over. Hidden behind the wooden plinth my boss smacked my arse with a wink, a sign of his congratulations. I could have screamed. 

My words were forced and strained as I began my speech, my body was trembling with the effort of not giving birth. The white knuckles of my fingers on the podium glowed under the spotlight. The baby was slipping down! I could feel it. I wasn’t pushing, but it was moving anyway. My body was automatically doing the work for me, despite my wishes. I couldn’t help the grunt that slipped from my mouth into the microphone, as I involuntarily pushed. Bearing down and bringing the head to my entrance, bulging into my underwear beneath my loose fitting jumper dress. 

No…. Don’t push…. I begged my body but instead my legs widened and my muscles pushed again. My husband’s eyes were looking at me curiously, knowing something was wrong. Whereas my boss was too self-absorbed to notice anything other than his face on the screens that were displaying both of us on stage to the packed conference hall. 

I opened my mouth to resume my speech, but no sound came out. My hand disappeared from the podium and flew between my legs, feeling the curve of the head that was starting to emerge. I clamped my palm over my tights and underwear trying to keep the baby from coming out, but my body gave another deep and grunty push. People were starting to murmur, I could hear the sea of the crowd whispering about what was happening. I wanted to leave, to get off the stage, to get this damn baby out of my body. But I couldn’t move. I couldn’t take my hand off the podium, and I daren’t take the other off of my crotch. The pressure was too much, my vision swirling from the pain as the head stretched me wider and wider and wider. I sank to my knees, disappearing beneath the wooden podium as I pushed and pushed and pushed, and the head burst out of me into my underwear. 

My boss pulled me up from my armpits, whispering angrily in my ear - What’s wrong with you?! 

My legs were trembling, like a newborn deer, wide and unsteady. I had one hand holding the swell of my jumper dress, the other cradling the head of my illegitimate child as it brushed against the skin of my inner thighs. 

“I’m… having… a baby…..nnnnghhhhh-!!” I growled as I pushed again, uncontrollably. And the whole room gasped, every word from my lips caught on the microphone and echoed loudly around the room. 

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

My pookie🥺

Oh my gosh, my heart. 💔

[mcytshipsandmore]

Okay there’s this mumbojumbo ship bracket and one of the shipps was hillspoon (joehills x mumbo)

And joehills you iconic beast

Now i want to see more spoonhills because that ship is actuslly fire

@/mumbojumboshipbrackets

WHEEZE

Its always a good day when the CCs decide to troll the audience. I think they get a good laugh out of it.

Also yes, spoonhills sounds amazing

-🍫

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

Do you have any professor Wanda thoughts?

Oh, absolutely I do!!! (me blushing bc i have a hot professor rn)

She wears glasses when she's reading from the board or flipping through the required text, and you love the way her hair looks when she slides them up to rest on top of her head

The first day of class, she came wearing a tight cream turtleneck with layered necklaces and brown slacks with boots, and you fell in love instantly

She always wears a lot of rings, and you find yourself getting even more distracted during class, since she talks with her hands

You make any excuse to talk to her after class, asking a lot of questions about the required readings or assignments, until she just smiles warmly at you and tells you to come to her office hours while resting a solid hand on your shoulder

You think her office is decorated perfectly, all autumn colors and plants lining the bookshelves and window, a large desk in the middle of the room with papers strewn over it neatly

You're awkward at first, but eventually you find yourself sprawling on her couch as the semester wears on

Wanda fucks you over the large desk in her office one time, and you can never look at it the same again

She seduces you slowly, pressing her thigh against yours while she went over the textbook, her hand brushing yours when you created flash cards together for the midterm

It wasn't until one late evening, when the rest of the staff had left for the day and campus was basically dead, that Wanda finally made a move on you

You'd looked up at her so happily when you got a practice question right, that she couldn't help but kiss you

Your relationship only grows stronger from there, as it was your last semester of college, and Wanda was a relatively young professor (still older than you though, which you teased her often about)

After you graduate, you move in with her, having found a job in the neighboring city next to your University, and you spend your weekends reading with her, your hand tangling with her hair as she idly scratches your back

Wanda's favorite role play is Professor x Student, and you happily oblige, the knowledge that you'd lived out this fantasy only making it all the more exciting

One time, you eat her out beneath her desk, her glasses fogging as she desperately tries to focus on grading assignments (She gives everyone an A on the assignment, claiming she'd misplaced the papers, but you knew it was because she'd crumpled them up and smeared red ink on them in the throes of ecstasy)

Anyways, you live happily ever after being academic nerds ♡

[kamuch-kommando]

Does your poseidon need a chewtoy or smt I'm right here

Oh well. Have fun in the underworld now?

Both were tasty in the end though

[pigeonstab]

Hey is this guy yours? He showed up in my cupboards looking for sauce

(I wanted to draw Dance bitty so you don't have to lol ignore how wonky this looks) (also hiiiiii)

My boi, that is so cute thank you Charliee T T oughhh liddol guy

Nightmare's like 'this one's not mine' lolll, good luck moving him hehe ughhhh that is so sweet

[billciphersrpblog]

HEYA, FIDGET! (-(

BEEN A WHILE, HASN'T IT? STILL TORMENTIN THAT SIXER OF YOURS?

NATURALLY! HE AND I HAVE HAD SOME REALLY FUNNY TORMENTING SESSIONS RECENTLY!

ONE OF THESE DAYS I EVEN GOT THE GUY TO AGREE TO A DEAL! I MEAN, COME ON, IT'S JUST SAD AT THIS POINT! HOW MUCH DUMBER CAN THESE SIXERS GET?