#answer to 11 will be any variant of 'no' so ignore that one

[ashpdigitalcharacterdesign]

Interrogating Oswin

Mood Board:

Word Cloud:

Questionnaire:

1 How old is your character?

20 years

2 What's their relationship with their parents? (if their parents are dead then detail the story and their past relationship if you can find it) (if they have a different back story again, then enter that here)

Mixed, due to Oswin’s nature in being less peaceful than most of his kind. His chaotic nature can upset them, but they do their best to take care of him.

3 Who raised them (ignore if listed in 2)

Answer

4 Do they have any siblings? - If so, describe them and their relationship(s)

His sister, who loved watching him build and helped test his inventions. They spent a lot of time together, and often keep in touch with one another while Oswin is out on missions.

5 What is the main thing, or some things that challenge them?

His task to save his species and being ostracized from his own kind due to moral differences. He finds it hard to get along with his own kind since so few agree with him, and he hates watching his own kind lose numbers because they refuse to fight back.

6 Describe two or more relationships with other characters – what characterizes those relationships?

His crewmates often see him as a loose cannon. He only has a couple on his team that will even talk to him. His closest friend and crewmate is the only one willing to hear his plans or learn about his inventions, and since he doesn’t have many people interested in his work, he’ll take what he can get. He often reminds his crewmate how much he appreciates having someone on his side.

7 Does your character have children – if so, how does your character relate to them?

No

8 Does your character have a mentor?

No

9 How has your character’s upbringing shaped their view of the world?

Due to growing up during the uprising of the predator species on his planet, he witnessed a lot of pain. Seeing how his species is pacifistic, he takes matters into his own hands by being one of few to use weapons to fight back.

10 Does your character have chosen accessories / clothing / tools / weapons?

He wears a baggy one-piece uniform with his pilot number on it, matching the number on his jet, 07. He builds his own weapons and inventions. He’ll often be seen holding a toolbox, or some kind of wrench/spanner/etc.

11 Does your character have any notable enemies?

The predator species on his home planet. During his crew’s travels through space, they encounter a lot of aggressive space aliens, such as pirates. He even has enemies within his own crew.

12 Describe your character’s world.

His home planet is mostly aquatic, and his species has both freshwater and saltwater variants. They tend to stay in water due to their higher speed and agility when swimming. The planet was teeming with life, with hundreds of alien species. Trade was frequent amongst the many species, often occurring at beach markets, or shoreline/semi-underwater trade centers. Wars weren’t common due to the peaceful nature of most species, until Oswin’s predator species grew out of control and began eating everything in sight. 

13 What are your character’s goals in life?

Other than finding a new home for his species, he wants to convince his crew to accept the use of weapons, so the pilots can all defend themselves from enemies. At the very least, he wants to teach them good strategies for deterring enemies without directly harming them. He wants to stand up to the crew’s leaders, who often abuse their power.

14 What stops your character getting towards their goals?

His crew’s attitude towards him, obstacles like pirates and other enemy aliens, and the crew’s leaders not letting him do anything.

15 What personality flaws does your character have and how do they manage them?

Anxiety and self-doubt, which he sweeps under the rug by burying himself in his inventions or keeping to the hangar or his cabin, mostly avoiding social contact. He also automatically hates any species he encounters in space, and he assumes that they’re a threat, due to past experiences. He’ll always assume the worst of any aliens he runs into.

16 What special talents does your character have – were they innate or did they develop them, or discover them – if the latter, then how did this happen over time?

Skilled Pilot, it came natural to him during training. He learned to be stealthy and swim fast to escape predators. He always loved inventing things and has a knack for making weapons. This is because building weapons has been a priority for him.

17 Is your character a loner or gregarious – or something more complicated (if so, describe)

He is a loner, though not by choice. Due to his unpopular beliefs, he is an outcast.

[csharp-official]

I haven't really wanted to write down a comprehensive argument because this is something that could take literal days and I don't really feel like investing this much time into a Tumblr post, especially when general arguments have been done ages ago. (this page was made before "Modern C++", but "Modern C++" did not fix those issues.)

What I consider a fundamental problem of C++ is that the C++ developers will heroically fight against problems non-existent in any other programming language.

I have been using "Modern C++", in fact my experience with using it was what convinced me that this language is truly unsalvageable.

For every new language feature they introduced two new pitfalls to fall in

"uniform initialization syntax" will prefer initializer_list constructor, making some constructors impossible to call

initializer_list is incompatible with move-only types

"random_engine" can legally return non-random data

unordered_map is hilariously inefficient because the specification of the interface (the bucket garbage) forces it into using an inefficient implementation

regexes do not support unicode making them useless in 2024

in fact, lack of even most rudimentary UTF-8 support: (introduced in C++11) (deprecated in C++17) (removed in C++26) speaks for itself. "The reason for removal is that this feature no longer implements the current Unicode Standard, supporting only the obsolete UCS-2 encoding." what the fuck UCS-2 was deprecated in 1996 what the committee was smoking here

the new pseudo-random number generators are great but no one thought of an easy answer to "how to create a seeded generator" and "how to get a random number from [A; B) without creating a new uniform distribution every time" making it look overengineered instead

even if we ignore that there is still a ton of legacy code that already exists and by the time the std::optional and others became standard everyone else was making their own bespoke implementations, non-interoperable with each other (this also applies to strings, to a lower degree: QString in Qt exists because Qt is older than the built-in string type)

the extensive use of templates results in compile times taking forever because of the huge header file sizes (this one is supposed to be fixed with C++ modules but I honestly stopped holding my breath, and instead switched languages)

$ cat a.cpp #include <iostream> #include <vector> #include <tuple> #include <memory> #include <optional> #include <unordered_map> #include <variant> $ g++ a.cpp -E | wc -c 1438212

(1.4MB)

and due to how template instantiation works (this is one is not fixed by C++ modules, the upcoming experimental Carbon language went fuck it and made its own generics system from scratch because C++ templates are a clusterfuck)

I also don't really see the validity of the point about syntax highlighting, linting, debugging, and so on--these are solved problems with LSP servers and major editors

the reason why I pointed these out is because C++ syntax is FUBAR and a piece of code like, let's say

A<B> C;

is

::std::vector<std::string::iterator> a; // variable declaration

or

(a < b) > c; // useless expression that is immediately dropped

without doing so much work that it's easier to let compiler do it for you instead. The complexity of the existing code means the new features get implemented later and with more bugs over the competing languages.

we have quite powerful debuggers in gdb and lldb

gdb is absolutely terrible thanks to its own design and lldb was still not ready for its prime back when I used it (2016) and kept crashing. It's why I relied on Visual Studio's debugger instead because at least that one could reliably preview std::vector<T>'s elements without me needing to

(gdb) p *(vec._M_impl._M_start + 5)

C never made promises in the first place. Rust successfully addresses low-level development needs (in some cases at least, gcc has still wider platform support than LLVM). Java, Kotlin, Swift, C#, JavaScript, Python address high-level development needs. The niche which C++ resides at gets smaller and smaller. I do not think C++ is out to die yet, as languages never truly die but eventually the new projects stop being created in them, and I hope this will happen to C++ eventually.

I actually enjoy coding in C++ way more than python or C# even though I was told those were easier. Idk it just feels a lot simpler to understand.

[deleteddewewted]

Ok, this is my last request, I swear and scout's honor...I'm sorry for bothering you and being annoying, please forgive me!

Uhm...how about a fic or headcanons on Monoma with a female s/o who's short (as in, 4' 11"...I think our boy is 5' 7", but I could be wrong) and is a coffee-addict, and it gets to a point where Monoma's worried for her addiction and health, so he tries to keep it away from her for a few days, please? He can also like, tease her about it and play the height bully since she's a shrimp compared to him when she tries to get her coffee back?

Like last time, I don't mind if what you write is sfw or nsfw. I just need more blonde copycat boi in my life, lol! Thank you! 😊 I hope you have a good day/night/weekend!

I’M SO HAPPY YOU CAME BACK!!! Don’t ever feel like your annoying, i love hearing from you.

It took me a bit to make this, sorry about that. Hope you enjoy!

Caffeine Rush

Monoma x F! Reader

Note: H/c (your hair color)

W: Mentions of NSFW, Monoma Being Absolutely in Love With You

TW: Vomit, Addiction

Monoma’s favorite thing to do each morning is to wake up to your beautiful face. You always tell him that it isn’t but he gladly disagrees with you because you’re wrong. He would watch you sleep for a few minutes, hours if the day before was truly exhausting for you, and just sigh like the lovesick fool he was. That peace becoming disrupted when the alarm in his phone would go off indicating the beginning of the weekday.

“My love, wake up.” Monoma leaned down to shower you with kisses, even as you swatted him away with your hand. The attempts that were made to cover yourself with the blanket didn’t stop him from attacking you with hugs. Warm and inviting rest but quickly changing to panic as he lifted you from the bed and walked out to the common area blanket included. Your other classmates were already up doing their usual morning routines. They found your relationship with Monoma adorable, concerning but adorable. The way Monoma brags about you and your achievement was sickening.

“Nei! Put me down, please. I was comfortable and warm.” Monoma laughed at the whining and placed you down on the couch.

“No can do my love. You need fuel in that body of yours. A healthy meal makes a healthy body. A healthy body makes a healthy mind.” You rolled your eyes at your boyfriends’ poetic speech and made yourself comfortable on the couch, laying down and covering yourself again with the blanket he wrapped you in.

“What do want for breakfast, my love?”

“Give me coffee, no sugar. If there are any muffins, give me one please.” Monomas posture deflated a little to the request.

“Coffee, again?” He questioned. You nodded your head and drifted back to sleep. The rest of the class watched as Monoma begrudgingly made the coffee you requested. The entire time he was mumbling something under his breath, something about how you loved the tar drink more than him.

You thanked him once he handed over your drink while Monoma sat down next to you with his meal. He leaned into you and ate in peace. He kept grumbling from time to time and chewed violently when he took another bite.

“Monoma? What are you doing?” You asked him.

“Nothing.” Was his only response before continuing to shovel food into his mouth. Once finished, he took your empty cup and his plate to the sink to wash. You on the other hand had other plans.

“Neito, I’m going out. I’ll see you later.” Monoma said goodbye to you and let you go. He knew what you were planning on doing and he wasn’t happy about it. Honestly, it was ridiculous how much you seemed to depend on it. It was the weekend, so there was no harm in leaving campus.

You got dressed back in your dorm room and said your goodbyes to your classmates who were still in the common area. As you headed into the city you went straight to your favorite shop. It was a small business run by a college kid who had too much money and too much time to burn. You weren’t about to complain, the coffee was good and the environment was pleasant to be in. Once there you ordered your usual coffee variant and sat down to enjoy it, not being aware that you were being watched the entire time.

Monoma was fuming. Another cup of coffee right away? You just drank your first a few minutes ago, why would you need another one? It wasn’t like you didn’t work hard, that wasn’t the problem. You were dedicated to training and your relationship with him. He understands that he could be a hassle sometimes and he’s very grateful for the opportunity to be with you, but this was just ridiculous. He didn’t want to destroy your piece but it had to be done.

“Y/n, what are you doing?” You turned towards the voice and watched as your boyfriend walked up to you. He was marching, an interesting choice but he was him so it wasn’t out of character.

“Hi, Nei is there a problem? Also, why did you follow me?” You asked amused. Monoma didn’t bother to sit down once he was next to you instead, he opted to bend down to look at you. He wasn’t happy.

“I followed you to see if you were going to buy another cup of coffee. Do you want to guess what happened Y/n? Hmm?” You giggled at him and took a sip from your drink.

“I bought coffee.”

“Yes, you bought coffee!” The other customers in the shop turned to look at the scene Monoma was making and the sudden attention filled you with embarrassment. You didn’t think Monoma would make a huge deal out of something so meaningless.

“Nei, cut it out!” You whisper yelled at him. You tried pulling him down so he would sit, instead, Monoma grabbed your cup and your hand. He dragged you out of the shop and walk with you to the train station.

“Where are we going now?” Monoma didn’t bother to respond to you. He just stared ahead of him and kept your coffee cup away from you. Once the train arrived he practically picked you up and took you inside. It was a bit empty so he was able to find seats for the both of you, he wrapped an arm around you as he kept the cup in between his legs and out of your reach. He pulled you up once you got to the correct stop and took you to the entrance of the mall.

“Whats this Nei? A last-minute date?” You teased. Monomas face flushed and just ignored your stare.

“We haven’t gone on a date in some time-”

“We had one yesterday.”

“So I thought that this would be nice and I also get to spoil you, so don’t complain.” He took your hand and brought you inside.

It was bustling with life. People walking around looking for things that they need and buying others that they don’t. It was a pleasant scene yet your body would disagree with you. The throbbing that you felt in the front part of your skull wasn’t pleasant but it was constant. It’s been like this for a few weeks. You read that coffee could help with easing it, something about it probably the throbbing being due to some visual exposure. Monoma had taken your drink so that was no longer an option. Knowing him, he probably takes a small sip and then spits it out while berating you on how your taste buds must be dead if you didn’t react as he did.

“So where to?” You asked him. Monoma laced his hand with yours and walked you to a clothing store. He looked at different articles of clothing and asked for your input. Most of the things he picked out were simple in design or minimalist, nothing that needed consideration. Yet he asked and you being the ever caring girlfriend gave some input.

“This would look nice with um, with some light blue jeans” The throbbing in your head was beginning to get worse and it wasn’t helping that the bright light within the store was the only thing to look at. It was too much for you.

“Hey, Monoma. I need to go to the bathroom, ok?” You left Monoma in the middle of the store as he just watched you go. He spoke to you but you couldn’t hear him.

He had tried reaching for you but you were already too far for him to grab. Monoma. You called him by his last name instead of his first. In the times that you both have had arguments, you always called him by his first name no matter what the situation was. You’ve been acting odd for some time and it was worrying him. He was aware that you drank more than the recommended when it came to coffee, so it wasn’t surprising that you felt ill. Monoma was no stranger to bad habits, he was being too clingy and overly competitive. You reassured him that he wasn’t clingy and that you found it endearing more than anything. Regarding the competitiveness, he could tone it down a little bit when it came to arguing with the other hero course. He felt like he was annoying to you and that you only started dating him because you felt pity for him after he fell on his face as he was running up to you. His nose was bleeding but that didn’t stop you from kissing him on the lips and accepting his date offer. He loved you, he’s known this since his first year. Seeing you sick was upsetting, he felt like a lost boyfriend for not helping you. He tried, he hides the coffee grounds, he hides your wallet sometimes and even started having you sleep in his dorm to ensure you slept.

Monoma waited outside of the store for a moment, waiting to see if you would come back once you were done in the bathroom. You never came back which lead to him going towards the bathrooms. He was met with a line of women waiting for the bathroom and a few people waiting outside of the all gendered bathroom.

“Hello. I’m sorry to interrupt you but did you by any chance see a woman who looked ill come by here?” The person turned around to look at Monoma.

“Was it someone with h/o hair?” Monoma nodded his head and the stranger pointed at one of the bathrooms that were occupied. Monoma thanked them and knocked on the door gently.

”Y/n. It’s me, are you ok?” You tried answering but the sound of gagging and something liquid hitting the toilet was indicating that you wouldn’t answer him. Monoma quickly asked around to see who had a quirk that allowed him to help you. He found someone whose quirk allowed them to change their fingers into any key, interesting quirk, and he opened the bathroom door. When he closed it he saw you slumped over the toilet throwing up.

“Nei- I can’t- breath.” You hiccuped. Monoma pulled your hair back and rubbed your back in a soothing motion.

“It’s ok, I’m here.” You continued to throw up everything in your stomach. Almost everything that came up was liquid and smelled heavily of stomach acid with a touch of coffee. Monoma watched in horror as you emptied yourself. He felt useless. He couldn’t do anything other than making sure that your clothes stayed clean.

“Y/n, let me take you back to the dorms. You need to get checked by Recovery Girl.” You felt too dizzy to protest and just lifted your arms and had him carry you out.

On the train, Monoma draped his jacket over your head, hiding you away from any light that could worsen your headache. He kept you close, your head laying on top of his shoulder and his hand on the side of your head keeping you steady as the train rocked. Once off, he picked you up and carried you to Recovery Girl. She asked him a multitude of questions about what happened and asked him to step outside of the infirmary. She sent you to your dorm to rest with a bottle full of medicine and Monoma picked you up again to make the trip easier on you.

At your dorm, he laid you down on your bed and went down to the kitchen to get you a glass of water. You sat yourself up on your bed and took some of the liquid medicine. It was bitter yet sweet, it soothed your aching throat and helped ease your agitated stomach. When Monoma came back he crouched down in front of you, handing you the glass of water he had gotten for you.

“How do feel?” His face was showered with concern. This wasn’t uncommon for him when it came to you or any of his classmates. He didn’t like seeing you hurt nor sick, so this was overwhelming his heart a little bit.

“My throat burns a bit but I’m ok.” You smiled weakly. Monoma didn’t believe anything you were telling him but he also didn’t want to start an argument.

Monoma decided to pull you into bed and lay next to you. He covered your body with his arms around your waist as he tangled your legs with his own. He gave you a quick kiss on the lips, then placing his chin on the top of your head.

“Rest my love. You’ll feel better tomorrow.” You didn’t attempt to argue with him. Your head was hurting badly and your body was still tense from the vomiting you did earlier. You made yourself comfortable within Monomas chest and used him as an anchor. He was warm and welcoming, how couldn’t you take advantage of this.

The morning came and so did the sunlight that invaded your room. Monoma woke up ready to look at your beautiful face, a smile already forming as he imagined how you would look that morning. Ethereal as always he believes. Yet, when he opened his eyes you weren’t comfortably placed in his arms. You weren’t even in the room. He shot up from the bed and went rushing down to the common room.

“Y/n! What are you doing!?” Monoma watched you as you were seated on one of the tables. With a cup of steaming coffee. Again.

“My head hurts, the coffee helps it feel better.” Monomas eyes widened as he walked towards you.

“I understand, but couldn’t you have taken some pain medication or have at least told me?” He stood next to you and looked at how much coffee you still had left in your cup. It was at halfway. He made an executive decision and grabbed it from you.

“Neito, what are you?” You tried to reach for the cup but it was immediately raised above you.

“Nei, that isn’t funny. Give me back my coffee!” Monoma only grinds at you.

“No, it isn’t my fault you’re the shortest person in our year.” You used your quirk to try and inflict some damage onto him but to no avail. He just raised it higher.

“Nei! I swear you’re all legs and arms. How are you this tall!?” Monoma could only laugh at your silly attempts to reach for the cup. He leaned down enough for your faces to meet.

“I’ll give it back if you promise me something.”

“Sure, what is it?” Monomas grin softened around the edges. His eyes looking briefly at your lips and back to your eyes.

“For one, limit your coffee intake.” You frowned at him.

“Didn’t you just hear me? It helps with the headaches.”

“And for two,” He got closer to you. His mouth inches from your own. “For every time you minimize, ill give you whatever else you want.”

You cocked a brow up and returned the sly grin.

“Oh, like what exactly Neito Monoma?” He shivered at the mention of his full name. A tint becoming present on his cheeks.

“I don’t know, maybe kissing.” He leaned closer. Your lips touching but just by a little.

“Or maybe something more.” He added in. You decided to take the lead and closed the gap between the two of you. His lips were surprisingly soft, must be because of the religious chapstick use.

He became impatient and pushed his tongue into your mouth. He sighed into the kiss and pull you in closer by placing a hand on your lower back. You kissed back with fever and played with his tongue a bit. You made him moan, the hand holding the cup lowering to place it on the table. You quickly snatched it from him and backed away from the kiss you were sharing. A  wet popping sound made itself present once you parted from him, a light string of saliva attached to your once connected lips. Monoma looked confused, his eyes hazy from the euphoria of kissing you.

“What?” He asked confused. You just giggled and walked away with the cup of the now lukewarm coffee. Monoma quickly trailed behind you, hand reaching out to take the cup. You walked to the sink and dumped all of the coffee down the drain.

“I know I should stop. I know.” You turned towards him and place your hand on his cheek. You admired him for a moment. His face was still red and his chest was still expanding slowly trying to get more air in. You gently caressed his lips with your thumb and quickly gave him a peck on them.

“But I’ll only stop because you asked me to.” You kissed him deeply. Monoma wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you in place.

“I love you Nei.” Monomas face flushed deeper and he hid his face on the crook of your neck. He had to bend down to do so but it was worth it.

“I love you too Y/n.”

[qandnoablog]

Secrets (Marvel Imagine)

Title: Secrets (Work-In-Progress)

Pairing: Loki x TVA!Reader

Warnings: This is a spin-off based on my previous work Discovered (Marvel Imagine) and the TV series - Loki Please be sure to read my previous work (link below) as well as watch the show before continuing to both understand the story and not be spoiled!

Discovered (Marvel Imagine) - Part: [18], [17], [16], [15], [14], [13], [12], [11], [10], [9], [8], [7], [6], [5], [4], [3], [2], [1] Short story: [3], [2], [1]

Part: 1

Key: Y/N - Your Name Y/A - Your (TVA) Alias

Word Count: - 2,292

Summary: [Y/N] centered her whole life around the TVA. She was born from it, trained by it, and was destined to fight for it. That should have been enough, but for some reason, [Y/N] found it difficult to accept. She just could not conform to the norms, like every other TVA agent around her. It caused her great pain to mold herself into the proper soldier, to ignore the discrepancy she felt surrounded by those who had no issues following nothing but the orders from above. Then, all that began to change. One variant, one being, shattered her very reality. He exposed the deeply rooted secrets of the Authority and his very presence swallowed her up like a storm. Who was this man who proclaimed himself to be a god? How was he so different from all the others the TVA had succeeded in erasing? And why? Why did [Y/N]’s heart stir every time he looked at her, as if peering into her very soul?

Note From Author: I finally got down to watching the Loki series! Binged the whole season in one day, and loved it! It flooded me with new ideas based on the Discovered series I made, and though I’m not sure what path I’ll be taking for this series, please bear with me! I love Loki and Sylvie’s dynamic together in the series, but I desperately wanted to incorporate [Y/N] since before the series even came out. Please don’t hate me too much if I down play their romance to make way for [Y/N]! Maybe there’ll even be a twist... Who knows? ;)

Part 1 - Secrets

The bright tiles of the mosaic glinted dimly as it obscured the intense rays of the sun trickling in from outside.

[Y/N] stared at the windows as she carefully examined the art, trying to look away from the scene that was littered before her. Instead, she focused on the colors of the window, the smell of the burning candles, and the sensation of the cool, natural air that blew in from the distant entrance. She savored the brief feeling of the outside world, before a voice awoke her from her trance.

“It’s him,” Hunter U-92 said in a slightly annoyed tone.

She glanced up at the hunter assigned to the case and slightly frowned. [Y/N] didn’t know why, but she never liked her fellow co-workers. She should have felt a unity with them, given that they were all created by the same being and assigned the same mission. Though she understood that they existed solely for the mission, it was difficult for her to accept that. That was what set her apart from the others.

“Yeah,” another man answered as he crouched down to examine the bodies, “stab wounds look consistent with the others.”

Mobius was one of the few exceptions.

“Positioning of the bodies indicates they didn’t know what the hell hit ���em,” Mobius continued as he stood up and looked closely at the fallen Minutemen. “And reset charge is gone.”

“That’s the sixth attack in the last week,” Hunter U-92 stated.

“That we know of,” Mobius and [Y/N] replied in unison, though for [Y/N] it was more of a quiet grumbling.

“You know, [Y/A], you didn’t need to come,” Mobius chuckled as [Y/N] sat down carelessly without any regard for the bodies around her.

“And miss out on leaving the office? Not a chance,” [Y/N] countered as she glanced once at the fallen agents and quickly turned away.

[Y/N] wasn’t heartless.

She was saddened by the deaths of others and disliked meaningless slaughter. Though trained as a diligent TVA agent, she was still weak when it came to killing. But she refused to show how much it affected her. The last time she exhibited such emotions… Well, it didn’t end well for her.

“We can’t just leave them!” [Y/N] yelled as she snatched away the reset charge that had been placed on the ground. “If we reset, they’ll be erased with the rest of the timeline! We have to take them back. We have to send them off properly!”

“Stand down, Hunter Z-73. We’re running out of time-”

“No.” [Y/N] held her ground, her heart racing, as her body trembled from this blatant act of insubordination.

She didn’t know why she wasn’t following orders. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t accept something this simple, like all the other Minutemen could. She knew the consequences of failing the mission when a branching timeline was created, so why? Why couldn’t she bear to look at the faces of her fallen TVA? Why couldn’t she just be like everyone else and just do her job?

“Stand. Down.” Her superior warned her one last time, emphasizing each word, as everyone’s eyes looked at her with impatience and distrust.

“Please, just let me take them home.” [Y/N] insisted as she got on her knees as a final plea. “Let them rest at the TVA, where they belong.”

The words sounded strange to her, but she didn’t know why. Still, this one act… Her begging her team… It would seem humiliating, but something within her seemed to have settled. The uneasiness she felt since the moment of her creation, it was finally feeling more at peace. As if the acts she was committing today weren’t crimes against the TVA… As if this all was the right choice. It was the right answer.

[Y/N] had hope in that feeling, and believed that the others would feel the same way. But, reality was colder than hope.

“Apprehend her.”

No one even felt sympathy for her, let alone those of their fallen. Everything was only ever about the mission. Through overwhelming numbers, she was captured and taken to be punished for her sins. Her sins against the ultimate power, the Time Variance Authority.

[Y/N] shut her eyes at the memory, her jaw clenching from the sense of betrayal she felt towards the TVA and from herself. She felt betrayed by her colleagues who should have cared about one of their own. She felt betrayed by her team, who did not understand her nor did they even try. And she felt betrayed by her own emotions, that only ever settled when she was acting outside the strict law of the TVA.

That was her first and last mission with that team.

Since then, she had been grounded for nearly a decade, unable to go outside the TVA and stuck with grunt work. She had to start from the bottom once more, organizing and filing cases, without taking one step out into the timeline. Without so much as feeling the natural sunlight of the world beyond the TVA walls. Like clipping a bird’s wings, she was imprisoned in the system that they were designed to work for.

After possibly centuries of similar punishments, depriving her further of the outside world, her individuality was slowly being chipped away. Now, as she sat inside one of France’s most beautiful cathedrals, [Y/N]’s eyes were dimmer than the light that was obscured by the mosaic windows. Her rebellious spirit had long since broken.

“Hey!”

The shout startled [Y/N] out of her trance, and that was when she realized that it was not just the Minutemen who were here at the church.

Hunter U-92 took out his weapon, ready to spring into action by the stranger’s presence, but Mobius quickly caught his arm, ordering the man to stand down.

“Tsk,” [Y/N] scowled as she stretched from her seat, “All violence and no thought.”

Her mood had plummeted since recalling her first mission.

“It’s just a kid.” Mobius ignored [Y/N]’s remarks, giving [Y/N] a warning look, before turning back towards the child. “(I’m sorry, my friend is an imbecile).”

Mobius tried to sooth the child, speaking in the tongue of their country, but Hunter U-92 quickly shot back.

“Hey, yo! (I speak every language on the timeline too),” he called out, but then muttered under his breath while putting away his weapon, “(Jackass).”

“(Control that mouth of yours),” [Y/N] growled as she rose from her seat with a sharp glare, “(or else I’ll do it for you).”

Then she bounded off towards Mobius, disregarding the pale look that spread across the hunter’s face.

Everyone knew that [Y/N] would never do anything against them due to the authority of the TVA, but she was still feared by many. Out of everyone, she was one of the few that had powers far beyond their own. They assumed only the Timekeepers knew why she had those abilities. And since she was made differently from them, though the judge said otherwise, some were wary about her position in the Timekeepers’ eyes.

[Y/N] stood behind Mobius as he spoke with the young child, even allowing him to hold his TemPad - a very strong tool among the Minutemen - but the child did not have much regarding the incident. The only clue they managed to obtain was candy left behind by the so-called, “devil.”

As she watched his interaction, [Y/N] couldn’t help but reminisce about her past once more.

Mobius… He was one of the few within the TVA who had empathy, like her. He had come to her after her failed mission, and brought her under him when her own team had abandoned her. He understood her to a certain extent, caring for her as if she was a lost lamb amongst lions. Over time, she began to depend on him, even feeling protective over him when his words were disregarded by other agents.

He was the only one that ever stuck their neck out for her. Although he could not go against the TVA, he made exceptions for her any way that he could. Mobius was aware that whenever she was not allowed to go out, she felt suffocated, and was willing to stifle her opinions if it meant just having a taste of that unachievable freedom. Knowing this, he allowed her to tag along on missions that weren’t assigned to her. Nevertheless, he also understood that this only made her longing for an escape that much stronger. Perhaps, that too was hell, but it was the only thing he could grant her.

“Devil bearing gifts.” Mobius mused, shaking her from her thoughts.

“What else is new?” [Y/N] sighed, rubbing her somewhat groggy eyes.

Why was she acting like this? Why was she thinking so much about the past these days? She kept getting the feeling that she was trying to recall something, something she had long forgotten, but all the memories she dredged up were things she never could forget. So what was it? What was she searching for?

Then, the long awaited mission - her trip to the outside world - was wrapping up.

“Set a reset charge,” Hunter U-92 ordered, the words scraping against [Y/N]’s ears.

That often followed with a hasty retreat and the disposal of fellow TVA agents’ bodies. It had been so long, but after digging up those old memories of her first mission, she couldn’t help but feel nauseous with those words. With that tool. With the reset charge.

However, this time, things didn’t end there. A Timedoor was opened and another agent came out holding files in one hand. He glanced at [Y/N] for a brief second, a flash of worry flickering across his face, before he turned back and walked closer to Mobius.

“Sir, there’s something you’ll wanna see.”

Mobius took the files, glancing between the agent and [Y/N] who became curious about the questionable attention towards her, and glanced over his shoulder as he opened the files. A picture of a variant came into view, a stamp stating, “APPREHENDED,” in red letters above some of his printed information. It seemed like any other case, something [Y/N] had seen for what felt like her whole life, but something caught her eye.

The more she looked, the more she couldn’t look away from the picture. It was as if those eyes were drawing her in. But soon, her eyes shifted downward and were once again sucked in by two words.

Loki Laufeyson.

~

“You lost what-?!” [Y/N] gasped as she trailed behind Mobius as the team hurried down the corridor.

She could barely believe her ears. Mobius, the only TVA agent she would go out of her way to call her friend and also one of the ones who cared most about the TVA’s mission, had lost a variant under his command. [Y/N] wanted to ask more questions, to ask how the variant escaped, and how much trouble Mobius would be in after this incident, but someone was faster.

“Wish I could say I was surprised,” Hunter B-15 sneered as she kept pace with Mobius.

“Yeah, I wish you hadn’t interrupted us,” Mobius responded, a bit irked, while [Y/N] shot daggers at the hunter.

“Me? It’s my fault?” Hunter B-15 just glanced at [Y/N] but she was one of the few agents who were unaffected by her presence. “And why is [Y/A] here? We were ordered not to-”

“Look, he can’t have gotten very far,” Mobius interrupted, shifting his eyes away from [Y/N]’s questioning look.

“There’s a reason [Y/A]’s not supposed to… Fine, she can come, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Hunter B-15 let out a resigned sigh, after getting the message from Mobius’ sharp look, and stopped at the end of the hallway. Then, she turned around to face the other agents and gave out an order. “Split up. Prune on sight.”

“No, no pruning, no resetting,” Mobius countered as he turned back, away from the elevators. “He can still help us!”

[Y/N] hurried behind him, followed by two other armed agents, and held in her plethora of questions. This was a first for her… Mobius was for some reason hiding something, but she didn’t know what or why. Though she had complete faith in the man, she couldn’t shake off the uneasiness she felt.

“Mobius, what’s going on?” [Y/N] asked as they got further from Hunter B-15. Perhaps he couldn’t tell her in front of the hunter. “How did that variant get past you? I heard that that particular variant can be tricky. Is there something I can do to help?”

But despite her beliefs, Mobius didn’t answer her. Instead, he gave orders to the following agents, including herself, and hurried off to find the escaped variant. Not once did he look her straight in the eyes. As if to hide a guilty conscience, he escaped from her like he was running away from a fire.

[Y/N] stood there by herself in the hallway, staring at her friend’s back that got further and further away.

Mobius never kept secrets from her. If something was classified, he would tell her that it was and she would not ask further questions. That was how they always were, so what was different this time? What was he hiding from her? What was so important about this secret that he couldn’t even give her excuses?

You’re ok, right? She wanted to ask before he hurried off, but the look in his eyes made her swallow down her words.

Her uneasiness began to fester and grow.

[Next]

Author’s Note: This was fun to make and so was part 2! It’s still a work-in-progress but I have to admit, I’m pretty proud with how part 2 is shaping up. Please continue to stick around and look forward to the next part!

Thank you so much for reading and feel free to leave comments :)

[raeynbowboi]

Building an Embodiment of the Fairytale Princess in Dnd 5e

No matter who you are, when someone mentions fairytales, we all think of the stock characters. You’ve got your beloved princess, your charming prince, and your tempting witch, with maybe a malicious dragon thrown in for flavor. And that’s what we’re looking to build today. Not any specific princess, but rather an amalgomation of every fairytale princess and princess trope in one character.

For race, we’ll go with a human, or to be more specific a variant human. We were blessed by fairies since birth, and they gave us the gift of magic. The fairies gave you magical beauty and grace for +1 CHA and +1 DEX, as well as the gift of song for Performance for your fey-blessed skill. Tasha’s introduced the new feature Fey-Touched which gives our princess +1 CHA, the spell Misty Step, and one other 1st level divination or enchantment spell from any spell list. Charm Person, Command, and Sleep are all fine options.

For alignment, we’re practically a saint, so we’re lawful good.

And for background we’re a pretty obvious Noble for Persuasion and History.

To be a classic fairytale princess, we’re going to need to be able to sing, summon critters to do our chores, and have a fairy godmother who watches over us. The best way to do all three is to be a Bard and an Archfey Warlock. However, in order to use the Bard to their full extent, the Bard has to reach level 18 to get all of their bardic secrets. Luckily, everything we need from the Warlock can be gotten in the first two levels. All we need from Warlock are the spells Eldritch Blast, Mage Hand, Armor of Agathys, Charm Person, and Unseen Servant. Then we get two eldritch invocations, we’ll pick up Beast Speech so we can talk to animals permanently and agonizing blast to make our eldritch blast a more effective cantrip.

For this build, Charisma is our top priority. We’ll want a good Constitution to maintain concentration spells, a good Dexterity since all we’re wearing is a set of clothes (fine), and a good Wisdom score primarily for the use of Animal Handling. Strength and Intelligence will get dumped. We’ll be sure to take up expertise with Animal Handling, Persuasion, Performance, and Religion, because you’re a good medieval girl who eats all her vegetables and goes to bed on time.

Fairytale-Based Spells

Basic Fairies

Dancing Lights: they’re called fairy lights for a reason. Faerie Fire: faerie lights that help you keep track of foes. Healing Spirit: a nature spirit with a fey appearance that heals your party. Spirit Guardians: They can take on a fey appearance, dealing radiant damage Conjure Woodland Beings: You summon fey creatures to help you fight. Conjure Fey: you summon a greater fey to help you fight

Snow White

Armor of Agathys: Surround yourself in a barrier of ice when injured. Reflavor as Snow White’s glass coffin.

Cinderella

True Polymorph: the fairygodmother turned mice into horses and a pumpkin into a carriage. Wish: everything the fairygodmother did was to make Cinderella’s wish come true.

Sleeping Beauty

Dawn: a loose connection, but one of sleeping beauty’s names is Aurora or Dawn. Dream: useful for when you’re asleep and need to call someone to save you. Wall of Thorns: to keep the princess safe, the fairies raised a ticket of thorns around the castle, which only parted for the handsome prince.

The Little Mermaid

Suggestion: Mermaids have hypnotic voices that lure men to their deaths. Tidal Wave: Mermaids control the tides and waves Mass Suggestion: How to brainwash an entire ship crew. Control Weather: Mermaids were blamed for violent sea storms. Tsunami: Like tidal wave, just bigger and more destructive.

Beauty and the Beast

Unseen Servant: In the original story, the beast’s servants were invisible. Tiny Servant: to bring a tiny object to life, like the Disney version. Animate Objects: make the room attack someone, like the Disney version. Charm Monster: beauty soothes the savage beast.

Rapunzel

Rope Trick: You create a safe pocket dimension that can only be reached by climbing. Galder’s Tower: create a two story tower. Reminiscent of Rapunzel’s Tower.

Race: Variant Human Background: Noble Alignment: Lawful Good Class: Glamour Bard (18)             Archfey Warlock (2) Base Stats: Strength: 8 (-1) Dexterity: 14 (+2) Constitution: 16 (+3) Intelligence: 10 (0) Wisdom: 14 (+2) Charisma: 20 (+5) Saving Throws: Strength: -1 Dexterity: +8 Constitution: +3 Intelligence: 0 Wisdom: +2 Charisma: +11 Combat Stats: HP: 163 AC: 13 Speed: 30 Initiative: +2 Proficiency Bonus: +6 Passive Perception: 18 Dark Vision: 0 feet Proficiencies and Expertise:    Animal Handling (+14)    History (+6)    Perception (+8)    Performance (+17)    Persuasion (+17)    Religion (+12)

Spell Slots

1st (6) 2nd (3) 3rd (3) 4th (3) 5th (3) 6th (1) 7th (1) 8th (1) 9th (1)

Fairytale Spellbook

C Dancing Lights, Eldritch Blast, Friends, Light, Mage Hand, Mending 1 Armor of Agathys, Charm Person, Command, Faerie Fire, Healing Word, Sleep, Unseen Servant 2 Animal Messenger, Enlarge/Reduce, Enthrall, Healing Spirit, Misty Step, Suggestion 3 Conjure Animals, Mass Healing Word, Spirit Guardians, Tiny Servant 4 Charm Monster, Conjure Woodland Beings 5 Animate Objects, Dream 6 Mass Suggestion, Wall of Thorns 7 Mord’s Magnificent Mansion 8 Glibness 9 True Polymorph, Wish

Actions:

Countercharm. Creatures within 30 feet get advantage against being charmed or frightened following a performance check.

Bonus Actions:

Bardic Inspiration. Add 1d12 to an ally’s d20 roll 5 times per long rest.

Features:

Eldritch Invocations.    Agonizing Blast. Add your Charisma mod to your Eldritch Blast damage rolls.    Beast Speech. Cast Speak with Animals without using a spell slot. Enthralling Performance. Up to 5 creatures must make a DC 19 WIS saving throw or become charmed by you. Fey Presence. Creatures within 10 feet make a DC 19 WIS saving throw or become charmed or frightened by you until the end of your next turn. Font of Inspiration. Regain all uses of Bardic Inspiration on a rest. Jack of All Trades. Add +3 to skill checks you’re not proficient in. Magic Initiate. Choose two cantrips and a 1st level spell from the cleric spell list. Mantle of Inspiration. As a bonus action, give up to 5 creatures within 60 feet 14 temp HP points, and they can move without provoking an opportunity attack. Position of Privilege. You are welcome in high society, common folk go out of their way to accommodate you, and you can get an audience with other nobles. Song of Rest. Regain 1d12 extra HP on a short rest after singing. Unbreakable Majesty. Take on a majestic appearance for 1 minute, the first creature to target you each turn must succeed on a DC 19 Charisma saving throw or choose another target. If it succeeds, it has disadvantage on saving throws against your spell DC next turn. Use once per long rest.

Fairytale-Based Items

Pumpkin Carriage (Cinderella)

Common Wondrous Item - Vehicle

Weight: 600

This vehicle ignores difficult terrain.

Glass Slippers (Cinderella)

Rare Wondrous Item - Attunement Required

Your movement speed isn’t slowed by difficult terrain, and spells and other magical effects can’t reduce your speed. However, you cannot cross terrain that would harm you, such as lava. Because the shoes fit only one person in the entire kingdom, this item requires attunement.

Golden Stair (Rapunzel)

Rare Wondrous Item - Attunement Required

Your long hair can be used as a Rope, Hempen and a Grappling Hook. It’s attached to your head, so it cannot be broken, stolen, lost, or used up. The hair can also be used like a lasso to bind and pull switches or objects weighing 10 lbs or less closer. It has a range of 60 feet. Because it is attached to your body, this item requires attunement.

Sleeping Spindle (Sleeping Beauty)

Rare Weapon (Dagger)

This cursed spindle deals 1d4 piercing damage. When a creature is struck by this blade, they must succeed on a DC 15 Constitution saving throw or fall into a magical sleep for 24 hours. The curse can be broken by the spell Remove Curse. Once the curse has been used, it cannot be used again until the dawn of the next day.

Poison Apple (Snow White)

Common Weapon (light, thrown)

When this item is thrown, deal 1d4 bludgeoning damage to any creature it hits. When this item hits a creature or a solid surface, it explodes, creating a poisonous cloud within 5 feet centered on where it landed. Creatures inside the area of the cloud take 1d4 poison damage and make a Constitution saving throw against DC 10 + your INT mod or become poisoned. Crafting: requires fresh fruit, a poisoner’s kit, and knowing at least one spell. Crafting takes 10 minutes.

Ring of Teleportation (Beauty and the Beast)

Epic Ring - Attunement Required

Choose up to three locations you have been to before and know well. Once per day, turn the ring three times and you and any creature touching you will be teleported to whichever location you desired. You can change your three saved locations at any time, but you must be at the location to save it to the ring. The ring resets at dawn following its last use. Because the ring can only take you to places you’ve been before, the ring needs to be attuned to you.

Magic Mirror (Beauty and the Beast/Snow White)

Legendary Wondrous Item

Once per day, choose one of the following:

Cast Scrying without using a spell slot. The mirror will show you what you ask to see.

Cast Legend Lore without using a spell slot. Ask the mirror a question and it will answer truthfully to the best of its ability.

[ducavalentinos]

Why do you think that Cesare helped Della Rovere become Pope? It's seems uncharacteristically...stupid? Perhaps illness and grief had made him desperate?

(Also I can't get that scene of Della Rovere hitting on Cesare in Borgia out of my head help lol)

Oh, thank you anon, for giving me the chance to vent my thoughts about the most frustrating event in Borgian history! This is long-ish, and tumblr is being weird(!!!!!!!) with the read-more link, so I'm not sure where/if it will show up below or not. Before answering your question, there is a question to be made first, I think: Why was Della Rovere still breathing in the year of 1503? If we follow the Borgias’ historical literature, the vast majority paints Rodrigo and Cesare, in particular Cesare, as unscrupulous, utterly ruthelss, vindictive men. They were the terror of Italy, and they meticulously eliminated all of their enemies. Yet, most of their enemies and their families, important to add, lived. Including Della Rovere, the most dangerous and bitterest rival of their family. What are we supposed to make of this? It's another one of those common situations in Borgian bios where what it is said is demonstrably at odds with the historical material, and it's something to ponder, I mean, Cesare only found himself in his predicament in 1503 because he and his father failed to strike down Della Rovere during those long eleven years they were in power. Their inability and/or unwillingness to do so was a graver political mistake than Cesare helping Della Rovere win the papacy in the end. And answering your question now, yes, I think the initial impression is that it does seem uncharacteristically stupid for Cesare to support Della Rovere, and help him win. But then again, I don't think Cesare's biographers are very good in showing the complexity of papal Conclaves, and the whole political landscape Cesare was in, and all the possible factors that came into play in his decision. Maybe it's a decision made not to overwhelm or bore the reader, but it usually has only one or two chapters covering both Conclaves, with a lot being left out or ignored, or simplified. The two most popular opinions are that: 1. Cesare had no choice, but to support Della Rovere. Some claim he was no longer in a powerful position, or felt lost without his father's guidance, and/or Della Rovere was the only and strongest candidate for that Conclave from the start, and his election was an impossible thing to avoid. It was already settled, and Cesare had to roll with it the best he could, and try not to make the future Pope even more hostile towards him. 2. He had other choices, namely he had cardinal Rouen, but in the end it didn't worked out, and Della Rovere stood unopposed as a candidate for the papacy, which forced Cesare to support him, and/or he apparently believed Della Rovere's promises, and thought they could reach an understanding. Opinion #1 is the most messy, and it makes zero sense to me today, given there is actual historical info reporting the contrary. The idea that Cesare's power and influence died out or diminished after his father died, or that he was lost without his guidance, are false. Prior to Della Rovere's election as Pope Giulio II, Cesare's power and influence remained strong. He still had large sums of money with his bankers in Genoa and other places of Italy, he continued to be visited daily by cardinals and orators, and indeed it even seems he was thought to be the decisive factor for any papal election. There isn't much criticism to be made either, when looking at his actions right after Rodrigo died, esp. considering at the same time he was dangerously ill himself, and it wasn't something he had prepared for, being it impossible to predict such a thing, he played all of his cards wise and correctly. He was able to secure Piccolomini as Pope, who if not a Borgia partisan, at least was not antagonistic towards him and his family. About the second Conclave, there is a report from Machiavelli in which he says cardinal Pallavicini was the only one being regarded as a possible rival to Della Rovere. And Burchard, whose info seems to have been correct in this instance, writes of a meeting that took place between Della Rovere and Cesare with the Spaniard cardinals at the Vatican, a variant of this info is of Della Rovere meeting Cesare and the Spaniard cardinals at the Castel Sant' Angelo, where they were able to reach an agreement. Opinion #2 makes a little more sense, and it matches a little bit more with the info there is, but it's still messy. Cardinal Pallavicini is almost never mentioned (only Woodward mentions him iirc), and it has to be said that even if Della Rovere succeeded in making himself an unopposed candidate, nevertheless, the Spanish vote could decide an election. So Cesare still had choices, and the reason why he didn't went with those choices, in my view, is not because he believed Della Rovere's promises, it's not the case of Della Rovere winning in the game of deception, I believe both men were aware that agreement was only temporary, and Cesare's decision there was composed by other factors. And between these two opinions, here's what I think is more plausible to have happened: Cesare, knowing his beloved tutor Giovanni Vera was as impossible a choice in that second Conclave as he had been in the first, thought about supporting the French cardinal Rouen. He was far from the ideal choice, but he was a workable choice for him. However, although his influence with the Spaniard cardinals was strong, he must have been aware his influence with them had limitations. The cardinals would never vote for a French candidate, because they were also obliged to King Ferdinand II of Spain, who also had his influence with them, and whose interests they were there in Rome to protect and represent. So much like Vera, Rouen quickly became an impossible choice for him. After this, it's reasonable to think he turned his efforts towards any candidate who stood a chance against Della Rovere, which turned out to be cardinal Pallavicini. Pallavicini is interesting, because like Della Rovere, he was also from the Liguria region (Genoa), but unlike Della Rovere, he maintained a friendly relationship with the Borgia family during Alexander VI's papacy. Rodrigo Borgia was able to secure his support during his own battle to win the papacy in the Conclave of 1492. He also counted on this cardinal's efforts when trying to nominate Cesare for the cardinalate. And he appointed him Bishop of Pamplona, a title previously held by Cesare himself. There is nothing, that I've found anyways, suggesting he and Cesare had direct interactions, but it's possible Cesare cultivated a relationship with him much in the same way he did with cardinal Piccolomini (later Pope Pius III). So by all accounts, Pallavicini was Cesare's best choice then, and it is intriguing there isn't much about this, or why Pallavicini failed to make himself Pope. In theory at least, with Cesare's support, he would have won the papacy. The Italian cardinals were not supporting Della Rovere because they wanted him, many disliked him, some still remembered the papacy of his uncle, but he seemed like a better choice than another Spaniard, or a French, or god forbid a Colonna or an Orsini, but with cardinal Pallavicini, they had a good choice there, and the only reason I can think of as to why they didn't elect him comes down to money and benefices. At some point, Pallavicini, even with Cesare's support, couldn't keep up with the resources Della Rovere made sure of having, and just like Rouen, he fell behind. From this point forward, things get more complicated for Cesare, but Della Rovere's election was still not a concluded reality. A question that follows when reading the info about him meeting with Cesare is: Would he have reached out to Cesare, the son of a man he hated to the core, from a family he despised, if his election was such a sure thing? I think the answer here is no. Della Rovere entering into an agreement with Cesare highly implies, if not proves it, he did not had the necessary votes to win. He needed the Spanish vote, 11 votes to be precise, which were under the influence of Cesare. Without the 11 votes, every single voting would end up nowhere, and a thought I believe was on Della Rovere's mind at the time was that: the longer it took for an election, the more difficult it became for him to stay as strong and unopposed. The support he had could shift in one week or two. New rivals could emerge, unexpected things could happen, because papal Conclaves were mostly unpredictable. It depended a lot on money, influence, the political situation on a daily basis, esp. in Rome, where as it was the norm without a Pope, was a city under total chaos. Della Rovere could only control so much for so long, and I think he knew that very well, hence why he swallowed his hatred, and went to negociate with the son of his archenemy, and get the 11 votes he needed to win as soon as possible.

Another question that follows after reading all this is: Ok, so why didn't Cesare used that for his advantage? better yet, why didn't he use the chaos in Rome, for example, to subtly force the cardinals to stop supporting Della Rovere and find a more favourable candidate for him? Or why didn't he simply stalled the election until a more favourable candidate appeared? These are all things he was in a position of doing, and the reason why he didn't do it, and instead went with helping Della Rovere can be better explained when considering the following factors: 1. You mentioned his grief, and his illness, which might have made him desperate, and while I don't think it was that exactly that made him desperate, I do think it counts as a factor into understanding his state of mind at that moment, and why he made that final decision. Cesare had gone through a rollercoster of events, and dare I say, emotions in less than 3 months. He lost his father, the constant and closest male presence in his life, as far as we know. He didn't had time to grieve him nor make sure he had a decent and respectful burial (it's possible he heard later what was said about his death and burial, and I have no idea how that made him feel) because he was also fighting for his life then. First against illness, then against his enemies in Rome. Not only that, other people and things depended on him. He was the head of the house then, and it fell to him the responsibility, among all that chaos, to keep the women and children of his family safe, as well as to make sure to get all the valuable possessions left in the Vatican and in his palace, before they were sacked completely by servants and others. This was an important step to ensure their survival in the coming months. Gioffre was there to help him, and he did helped, but you know, everyone looked at Cesare for leadership and protection, and he could barely leave his bed, so that surely must have added an extra layer of stress for him. But then, he succeeded in making Piccolomini pope, and it looked like the worst was over, things looked hopeful for him and the Borgia family. And then, suddenly Pius dies, only after 26 days of papacy. Again, if it was truly a natural death, there is no way Cesare could have predicted that, and just like that he was right back where he started. Having to navigate the messy political affairs of a papal conclave and its outcome, of which he and his family’s lives and future depended on. Cesare was resilient. Rodrigo raised his children to be resilient, and to not crumble at the face of adversity, to persist. But I guess we can agree this a lot for a person to process in such a short amount of time. So by the time the second Conclave happened, it would be reasonable to think Cesare might have been feeling overwhelmed, tired, in pain (he had gone through awful treatments), and overall just a bit shaken up mentally and emotionally, although he always tried to look strong and positive —it's interesting to notice it didn't seemed to have been in his nature to be a pessimist, only much later he is recorded as feeling more despondent, and saying Fortuna has left him *gets sad in spanish* — which made him more open to consider options he wouldn't have had under normal circumstances, I think. 2. As said above, Cesare seems to have had this trait in his personality of being resilient, it's one of the reasons why I think he survived for as long as he did (same with Lucrezia, I suppose), he had an instinct to not give up no matter how impossible the situation looked, of not being afraid to face adversities that came his way. He seems to have welcomed challenges, and it was when he felt most encouraged to fight and to thrive. When he was the prisoner of Della Rovere in the Vatican, then pope Giulio II, one of Giulio's men said to him: "signor duca, you have always been spirited." to which he is recorded as having said that: "quando più sono in adversità tanto più mi fortifico di anima. // the more I am in adversity, the more I strengthen my soul." So this is another factor to consider. It's possible he saw the situation with Della Rovere as just another adversity he had to face, and with his tenacity, intelligence, and most importantly, with time, he could overcome it. 3. Another possible factor, but this one is only my personal assessment after reading Alvisi and some of the documents he exposes there, is that both Rodrigo and Cesare display a difficulty in understanding not everyone was as cold-headed and pragmatic as they were. It's evident in their actions, they never had much, if any, trouble putting their personal dislikes aside, and working with their enemies, if it meant they would reach a certain goal they wanted, and/or if it avoided needless conflict or bloodshed. However, not everyone is capable of rising above their feelings, and in this case prejudices, and work like that with people they see as enemies. It was the case of Florence and Venice, for example. Every single conversation the Borgia men had with these two city-States made it painfully clear no agreement would ever happened between them. They would much rather damned themselves and their cities than to genuinely try to work with men they suspected of being marranos and who they saw as being beneath them. It was personal, deeply personal, and to a point just irrational, too. But Rodrigo and Cesare did not seemed to grasp that, like the idea of acting against one's own interest simply out of personal dislike or prejudice didn't register inside their minds, it was just preposterous to them (I agree! dsdjsdjsj). With the right terms, surely an agreement can be reached, no matter how they feel about us, that's what they seem to think, and it's a bit funny, and sad to observe. And if I'm correct here, then Cesare helping Della Rovere might have carried some of this mentality, too. Him thinking: yes, of course, Della Rovere hates me and my family, but not to his own detriment, right? (wrong, just as like in the cases of Venice and Florence, but he later learned that the hard way) and this thinking made him conclude they could work together, despite of any hatred. 4. And finally, the last factor, which I see it as the final nail the coffin, sort-to-speak: His impatience. In the middle of all this papal business, and him fighting for his life, Cesare was also receiving daily news from the Romagna, and after Pope Pius's death, the situation went from bad to worse, his dukedom was being attacked by the men he had ousted from those cities (instead of having had them executed, as it was the norm of his times) with the full support of Venice and Florence in doing so, and only a few cities, like Cesena, were able to withstand these attacks. This is what I think made him desperate. We have to keep in mind Cesare was a man of action. Sitting idle watching his project, one that seems to have been dear to him beyond just mere ambition, wasn't how he did things, and it had to be pure agony for him to be in a position where he couldn't do much. He was still ill, he couldn't organize his men well, he was pretty much trapped at the Castel Sant'Angelo since the one time he tried to leave Rome, the Orsinis almost caught him, and if they caught him, he was a dead man, him and everyone with him. And he didn't had papal authority, only with that would the attack of these cities stop and only with that could he leave Castel Sant'Angelo and finally do something, so he needed a Pope elected as soon as possible, too, even one like Della Rovere. This hurry, this agony, combined with the other factors mentioned above, very likely might have made him overlook some details about his particular situation, misunderstanding Della Rovere’s nature, and underestimating this man’s hatred for him and his family.

Personally, I believe he should have stalled the Conclave for as long as possible, and waited a more favourable papal outcome for him. Sure, it involved other risks. The main one losing all of the Romagna, but here's the thing: the Romagna was basically lost to him anyways. That region belonged to the Church and to papal rule, and Cesare's control over it came from his position as Gonfaloniere of the Church, but imo, that wasn't a position he could have kept. Popes tended to appoint this position to men close to them, family members preferably, because it was an important and influential position, and they needed someone they could trust, and whose interestes would be aligned with them and their papacy. Maybe there is a precedent of a Pope letting the son of the previous Pope in this position, instead of changing it for someone inside their own circle, and nothing bad happened either lol, but no example comes to my mind right now. And in any case, I don't think they were quite in the same situation as Cesare. Cesare's situation was kind of unique, too. He was a beloved and popular ruler, and this little fact, whether he realized it or not, made him even more of a threat to any Pope who wanted to have full control over the Papal States. It created a conflict of power where the Gonfaloniere's influence in the Romagna would have been stronger than that of the Pope himself, which could lead to dangerous situations. With a decent amount of money, the right partisans, and the people's support (who always had anti-papal feelings to being with) Cesare, if he wanted to, could very easily strike up a rebellion against papal authority. No clever Pope, surely not Della Rovere, would have wanted to have that hanging over their heads. That's way too much power for a person to have over them and their papacy. So the Romagna wasn't something possible for him to keep, unless we consider other possbilities, but that's another topic, the point is: at least with a favourable Pope, one like Pius, Cesare could have tried to secure some cities, as well as some fortresses in the lines of the Romagna, Umbria and Tuscany regions. I think that's something he could have achieved with a favourable Pope, creating a new duchy for him and his family, not as Gonfaloniere, but as the Pope's vassal perhaps. But, maybe he didn't considered that, or maybe he had info that didn't came down to us which made this scenario not an option, or info which made him feel confident with his decision with Della Rovere, as usual, this is another theme where there's many things we will never know for sure, but I hope this helped a bit into shedding a light on this confusing, frustrating event in Cesare's life. (And I don't remember that scene, anon??? lol is that the one where Della Rovere is already pope, and he wants to humiliate Cesare further so he brings him naked and in chains to his rooms? and then proceeds to take advantage of the situation, forcing Cesare to kiss him? that one? that's the only scene that comes to my mind, and I have to say I felt pretty disgusted watching it. I guess it's another example of the poor taste of much of Fontana's writing, he really seems to like taking things to an extreme and always enter this sadistic, twisted territory with his characters that really is not my thing. On the other hand, it made me appreciate Mark as an actor even more, because it's not every actor who could have put that scene off, among so many others tbh, without looking utterly ridiculous, and failing to convey any emotions to the viewer. I felt very sad for Cesare there, in Fontana's world, Cesare was a victim of rape in the past, and in that scene with Della Rovere, he was again at a vulnerable position, without any power, and being force to kiss this man who had his life and his future on his hands. It's again, a extreme and sadistic take of the real psychological torture Della Rovere seems to have had enjoyed inflicting on irl!Cesare once he was pope Giulio II.)

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #64: Hektor

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re making Hektor, Hero of Troy and the only guy who didn’t get fooled by the most obvious trap in history. He was dead at the time, so it’s not quite the achievement you’d think it’d be, but it’s still better than the entire rest of the city.

Hektor’s a master of defense, so you may have an idea of where this build is going. Check below the cut to find out if you’re right, or check out the build summary over here!

Race and Background

Hektor’s a Human, and we’re going with the variant version to grab an extra feat. We’ll need a lot of those. Variant Humans get +1 in two stats, pick Strength and Strength. So +2 Strength, is what I’m saying. Man’s got an arm on him. You also get proficiency in Investigation to inspect any giant wooden horses coming by, and the Polearm Master feat. This lets you use your bonus action to attack with the blunt end of your weapon if you’ve attacked with a glaive, halberd, quarterstaff, or spear this turn with your normal action. What we’re really here for is that while wielding the aforementioned weapons or a pike, creatures provoke opportunity attacks when they enter your attack radius, not just when they leave it.

You’re a prince, but you’re mostly remembered as a Soldier, with proficiency in Athletics and Intimidation. Your kid thinks your hat is scary at least, so it probably works on other people too.

Stats

Your highest stat is going to be Constitution; your archrival is immortal, you’re going to have to be pretty tanky to match. Second is Strength, that’s where all the damage is coming from. Third is Intelligence; you’re as good with strategy as you are with a spear, and you’re damn good with a spear. Your Dexterity isn’t amazing, but you’re probably in heavy armor anyway. Your Wisdom’s pretty low, we just needed other stuff more. Last is Charisma; you can fool Blackbeard, but he dumped wisdom, so that’s not saying much. 

Levels

1. You’re a Fighter- you’re good with your weapon, and we need a ton of feats, so get comfortable. First level fighters get a Fighting Style. Thrown Weapon Fighting adds 2 to all damage done with thrown weapons, and you can draw and attack with a thrown weapon at the same time, so you won’t be limited to one throw per turn. You also get a Second Wind, letting you rest your tired old bones as a bonus action once per short rest to regain some HP.

First level fighters also have proficiency in Strength and Constitution saves, and two fighter skills. Perception will help you keep on top of the battle, and I know Survival is more about living in the wilderness, but you lived through a majority of a 10-year siege, I’d say that takes skill.

Your main weapon is a Pike, it’s a big spear with reach that we’ll be abusing a lot. You should also grab a couple Javelins to act as your thrown weapons. Throwing your pike will only do 1d4 since it’s not aerodynamic.

2. Second level fighters get an Action Surge, letting you tack on another action to your turn once per short rest. Sometimes fights are hectic, so you’ll have to get a bit hektic right back. 

3. For your subclass, we’re going with Cavalier. Battle Master is also a pretty good option, but you can get parts of both subclasses from feats, and I’d rather double up on reactions with a few maneuvers than have a lot of maneuvers with a few reactions. Cavaliers get a bonus proficiency with Insight for more anti-horse skill. Despite Troy’s rocky history with equines, you were Born to the Saddle, giving you advantage against falling off your mount. Falling this way causes you to land on your feet, and you can mount or dismount creatures for 5′ of movement rather than 15′. You also learn Unwavering Mark, allowing you to mark a creature you hit with an attack. Marked creatures get disadvantage against attack other creatures for a turn if they’re within 5′ of you. If they insist on attacking someone else anyway, you can use your bonus action on your next turn to make a special attack, dealing your normal damage plus half your level in bonus damage. You can mark as many creatures as you can hit, but you can only make your special attack a number of times per long rest equal to your strength modifier.

4. Use your first ASI to become a Sentinel. Hitting an enemy with an opportunity attack drops its speed to 0 for the turn, and you can ignore the disengage action to make attacks of opportunity. Also, if a creature within your range attacks another creature without Sentinel, you can react to make a weapon attack against them. When combined with your Polearm Master, this makes you almost immortal against melee-only fighters, as long as you keep hitting them before they get within 5′ of you.

5. Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack, letting you attack twice per action, or four times with an Action Surge, or even five times with your Polearm Master or Unwavering Mark attacks. We’ll be getting an even more effective use of your bonus action next turn though.

6. Use your next ASI to become a Fighting Initiate, so you can grab the Tunnel Fighter fighting style. You can now use your bonus action to hunker down, letting you make opportunity attacks without using your reaction, and you can now use your reaction to attack creatures who move more than 5′ in your area of effect. To summarize: you can now freely attack creatures who enter or leave your space, and and if any of those attacks hit, the enemy can’t move. Basically, there’s now a 10′ circular dead zone on the battlefield that moves with you, as far as the enemy is concern.

7. Your next Cavalier goody is a Warding Maneuver, giving you another way to react to creatures getting hit. If another creature within 5′ (or you) is hit with an attack, you can add 1d8 to their AC as a reaction. If they still take damage, they have resistance to it. You can use this reaction a number of times per long rest equal to your constitution modifier per long rest. Your zone should be a safe space for the squishier party members, and this will keep it that way.

8. Your constitution score is still odd, and there isn’t really another skill we need to even out, so we might as well grab the Durable feat. Now you’re guaranteed to heal at least 2x your constitution modifier per die used when healing with Hit Dice. A guaranteed 3 on a d10 isn’t amazing, but it’ll keep you from whiffing entirely. Plus, rounding out your constitution score gives you more Warding Maneuvers and 8 more HP.

9. You become Indomitable, letting you reroll failed one failed saving throw per long rest. Your big spell saves aren’t “good”, and they’re not going to get “better”, so you’ll probably get a lot of mileage out of this.

10. Tenth level Cavaliers can Hold the Line, which mostly gives you another version of the sentinel feat. However, this does upgrade your opportunity attacks further. Now you can attack when a creature a) enters your area, b) leaves your area, or c) moves 5′ in your area. Your attacks of opportunity are still free if you’re hunkered down, so that means literally every step an enemy takes is another chance to freeze them in place.

11. You get another extra attack, so you can now attack three to six times per turn. This pales in comparison to your theoretically infinite attacks outside of your turn, but at least you can choose your target.

12. We’re finally using an ASI to improve your ability score! Wild, right? Anyway, boost your Strength for more damage and more accurate attacks.

13. You get a second use of Indomitable between rests, becoming even tougher in the process.

14. You get another ASI, and it’s right back to the feats. Piercer lets you bump up either strength or dexterity by 1 (it doesn’t matter which, unless you get something from outside the build to increase one of them). Once per turn, you can also reroll 1 die of piercing damage and use the new roll. Rolling a 1 on a d10 hurts, so don’t do it. You can also gain an extra die if you crit while using a piercing weapon (you are) for even stronger spear throws. This and Thrown Weapon Fighting from level 1 are the only way we’re buffing those javelins. I know I’m not doing your throwing arm justice and I’m sorry, but sacrifices had to be made in pursuit of the ultimate defense.

15. Fifteen levels in and you finally get an offensive option from the cavalier class. Ferocious Charger means that if you move 10′ in a straight line before you hit someone, they have to make a strength save of 8+your proficiency+your strength modifier or be knocked prone. You can do this once per turn, but it’s not like you’ll be moving much anyway.

16. Yeah, we’re grabbing another feat. Martial Adept gives you two battle master maneuvers, and a d6 Superiority die to use them. You get the die back on short rests, and can use it on a Pushing Attack or a Maneuvering Attack. The former forces a strength saving throw (8+proficiency+strength modifier) against Large or smaller creatures, or they’re pushed back up to 15 feet away. If your first opportunity attack doesn’t freeze them, they can get into normal fighting range. This’ll stop them even more than you already do. The latter lets a creature who can hear you use their reaction to move half their speed without provoking attacks of opportunity. Knowing when to fall behind the city walls in a siege is important. Being able to do it is even more important. Both options also add the superiority die to your weapon’s damage.

17. You get another use of Action Surge and Indomitable, letting you use them twice and three times per rest respectively.

18. You become a Vigilant Defender, giving you a special reaction every turn that can only be used to make an opportunity attack, and only if you don’t use your normal reaction the same turn. Since your opportunity attacks don’t use  reactions, I think this means you can attack twice every time you’d make an attack of opportunity. I’ll have to beg someone at WoTC for an answer on twitter some time, but for now this’ll be at the mercy of your DM. They’ll probably say no, and be justified, because this is already a silly build without that.

19. Use your final ASI to bump up your Constitution for more health that you’re probably not using and more Warding Maneuvers.

20. Your capstone level of fighter is a third Extra Attack per action. Again, four to eight is still way less than infinity, but you’re trying and that’s all we can ask for.

Pros:

This is one of those rare builds that turns the action economy on its ear, getting more powerful the more creatures you have to fight. Adding two extra attacks per round per creature trying to get at you is super powerful, especially when defending against hordes of weaker creatures, like a zombie army or the like.

This build has a lot of redundancies built in, which is good. Sometimes attacks can miss, and you can’t hold the line without hitting everything the second it comes into range, so maximizing your reaction-based skills is essential.

A huge portion of this build is dedicated to defense, but you’re not completely defenseless against ranged enemies. You can chuck out the occasional javelin when you need a ranged attack while still keeping a defensive position.

Cons:

This build doesn’t have any mobility options, so if your party can’t huddle in a 10′ circle around you, you might have a problem.

This build is also really redundant, so each individual feature probably won’t feel as impactful as it would on its own, and some levels you practically won’t get anything at all.

Finally, you’re really bad with Magic, in every sense that sentence can be taken. You don’t do magic damage, so high level enemies will be an issue. You have terrible dexterity and wisdom saves, so you’ll take plenty of magical damage, and magical (or ranged in general) attacks will bypass your defensive barrier entirely. So boss enemies won’t be able to move, sure, but they don’t have to if they want to cast Power Word Kill.

Basically, focus on the Greeks, let Paris take care of Achilles, and you’ll be fine.

Next up: Around the world, around the world

[douchebagbrainwaves]

HERE'S WHAT I JUST REALIZED ABOUT FOUNDERS

But with other types of startups you may win less by features and more by deals and marketing. But I think that's too constraining. One of the most justifiable types of lying adults do to kids. Most of the work I've done in the last ten years didn't exist when I was 10. Something comes over most people when they start writing. Few dissertations are read with pleasure, especially by their authors.1 I don't run for several days, I feel ill.2 Informal language is the athletic clothing of ideas. This seems one of the reasons the early corporate raiders were so successful. And while there are many degrees of it.3 Opinions seem to be effectively infinite, at least for a small group, is the lows.

What surprised me the most is that everything was actually fairly predictable!4 Probably because small children are particularly horrified by it.5 If you're not allowed to implement new ideas, but also those ideas will increasingly be developed within startups rather than big companies.6 They expect to avoid that by raising more from investors. Most people like to be good at what you do. One reason people overreact to competitors is that they grow fast, and see if there's a super-pattern, a pattern to the patterns. Why? Your most basic advice to founders is just don't die, but the best founders are certainly capable of it.7 For Larry Page the most important things we've been working on standardizing are investment terms. Economic statistics are misleading because they ignore the value of community. But if you work hard and incrementally make it better, there is no limit to the number of startup people around you. Professors are especially interested in people who can help you.

Larry Page the most important. I mean has a different shape from kid curiosity. When you do, you've found an adult, whatever their age. So the best solution is to write your first draft the way you usually would, then afterward look at each sentence and ask Is this the way I'd say this if I found it at a garage sale, dirty and frameless, and with no idea at all. The good news is, plenty of successful startups talked less about choosing cofounders and more about how hard they worked to maintain their relationship.8 Not determined enough You need a lot of people, I like to work. What should you do?

Instead you'll be compelled to seek growth in other ways. He said it was that adults had to earn a living. If you want to be their research assistants so they can get into grad school, or to answer some question. He says the main reason is that the customer doesn't want what he thinks he wants.9 Founders who succeed quickly don't usually realize how lucky they were. Instead of trying to predict beforehand, so lots of people use. All investors, without exception, are more likely to make it. In a startup you can do. It's conventionally fixed at 21, but different people cross it at greatly varying ages.10 The first hint I had that teachers weren't omniscient came in sixth grade, after my father contradicted something I'd learned in school.

The whole field is uncomfortable in its own skin. The truth is common property. Be careful to copy what makes them congeal is experience. TV was still young in 1960; only 87% of households had it. This was, I thought; these impressive things seem easy to me; I must be pretty sharp. In your own projects you don't get taught much: you just work or don't work on whatever you want most of the time is work. These quotes about luck are not from founders whose startups failed. There have only been a handful of writers who can get away with zero self-discipline.11 If you're starting your own.12 One reason people overreact to competitors is that they drift just the right amount.

Notes

5 million cap, but Joshua Schachter tells me it was wiser for them, just as he or she would be rolling in their closets.

The state of technology, companies building lightweight clients have usually tried to explain that the feature was useless, but mediocre investors. Instead of earning the right mindset you will fail.

The founders want the valuation turns out to be so obsessed with being published.

Enterprise software—and to run spreadsheets on it, by decreasing the difference between good and bad measurers. The reason for the next investor.

Giant tax loopholes are definitely not a programmer would find it was putting local grocery stores out of them is that everyone gets really good at acting that way. That should probably pack investor meetings too closely, you'll have to assume it's bad to do some research online. In one way, be forthright with investors.

If you want to approach a specific firm, get rid of everyone else and put our worker on a hard technical problem. It will require more than investors. Some government agencies run venture funding groups, which is not a big effect on the side of the incompetence of newspapers is that we're not professional negotiators, and partly because they are in a world with antibiotics or air travel or an electric power grid than without, real income statistics calculated in the rest of the present, and for filters it's textual. They don't know yet what they're capable of.

Letter to Ottoline Morrell, December 1912. In many fields a year of focused work plus caring a lot is premature scaling—founders take a lesson from the example of a Linux box, a copy of K R, and cook on lowish heat for at least one of the biggest discoveries in any era if people can see how universally faces work by their prevalence in advertising. Geoff Ralston reports that in 1995, when Subject foo not to need common sense when intepreting it. The CPU weighed 3150 pounds, and made more that year from stock options, because we know nothing about the new economy during the entire period since the mid 1980s.

How to Make Wealth in Hackers Painters, what you learn about programming in Lisp. Ii. But no planes crash if your school sucks, and that don't scale.

I get the money so burdensome, that all metaphysics between Aristotle and 1783 had been a good open-source projects now that VCs play such games, books, newspapers, or b get your employer to renounce, in the latter. But while such trajectories may be that the web.

Galbraith was clearly puzzled that corporate executives were, we actively sought out people who'd failed out of business, A. This plan backfired with the earlier stage startups, but sword thrusts.

It was revoltingly familiar to anyone who had been with their decision—just that it is to let yourself feel it mid-twenties the people who chose the wrong side of making a good plan in 2001, but I managed to find may be overpaid. She was always good at design, Byrne's Euclid. Management consulting. A servant girl cost 600 Martial vi.

Some VCs will try to be room for something new if the selection process looked for different reasons. There need to know how to appeal to investors. If you're not trying to figure this out. There's a variant of the more accurate or at least notice duplication though, so they had to.

[inkfromalily]

Tag Game

Answer 17 questions and tag 17 people you'd like to get to know better!

Tagged by @cottagecrypt (thank you :D)

Nickname: Lily, and a million variants of it (Lilac, Lilypop, Lilith, etc) and Bebe by my best friend!

Zodiac: Scorpio, don't really follow zodiacs except for the weird or funny ones

Height: 5'4"

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Last Thing I Googled: What's the weather today? (Cold, it's always cold)

Song Stuck In My Head: Gennifer Flowers by Fever Dolls and Mary by The Happy Fits! They've been alternating all night.

Following: 107!

Followed by: 55 and my heart jumps every time one of them interacts with me

Amount of sleep I get: Oh cool I actually track this. Okay it's mostly 4-5 hours, with a max of 11 hours on breaks or snow days.

Lucky number: 7 or 13! Listen, I know 7 8 9 but listen, it's got good points too so forgive my problematic faves.

Dream job: Financially stable enough to work at a small indie game studio! <3 <3 <3

Wearing: Jeans and a ripped up t-shirt (I don't have the time to fix it right now :/ )

Favorite song: Okay so my spooky season one is The House is Haunted (By The Echo Of Your Last Goodbye) by Mel Torme (I like the record version on YouTube best) and then my favorite right now is probably "Would You Mind" by Friday Pilots Club but that might change next week once I get tired of it :)

Instruments: A bit of piano, not much else. My parents would have my sister and I sing while they played the instruments so we never really wanted or needed to learn any.

Random Fact: I have three bones, a mask I made, a bag of air from three years ago, a lantern, and a box full of everything fragile, and a red box I've never opened on top of my bookshelves in my room.

Aesthetics: cottagecore, grandmacore, crowcore, vulture culture, rockabilly, Something Is Off Here, steampunk, I'd say goth but more in the aesthetic way so I don't think I qualify as goth, cursed things, and dark academia!

Tagging: I'm not tagging penpals because I want to know this stuff about them in letters so I'm probably not going to get to seventeen, sorry! Also just tagging people I follow so feel free to ignore: @electronic-stars, @sapphyhoney, @mushroomspore , @alexlamington, @granny-core, @gardensnailed, @unironicallyenthusiasticknitter

[circularfire]

Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation

Note: The first rule and last five (or six, depending on situation) rules are generally not directly within the ability of the traditional disinfo artist to apply. These rules are generally used more directly by those at the leadership, key players, or planning level of the criminal conspiracy or conspiracy to cover up. 1. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. Regardless of what you know, don't discuss it -- especially if you are a public figure, news anchor, etc. If it's not reported, it didn't happen, and you never have to deal with the issues. 2. Become incredulous and indignant. Avoid discussing key issues and instead focus on side issues which can be used show the topic as being critical of some otherwise sacrosanct group or theme. This is also known as the 'How dare you!' gambit. 3. Create rumor mongers. Avoid discussing issues by describing all charges, regardless of venue or evidence, as mere rumors and wild accusations. Other derogatory terms mutually exclusive of truth may work as well. This method which works especially well with a silent press, because the only way the public can learn of the facts are through such 'arguable rumors'. If you can associate the material with the Internet, use this fact to certify it a 'wild rumor' from a 'bunch of kids on the Internet' which can have no basis in fact. 4. Use a straw man. Find or create a seeming element of your opponent's argument which you can easily knock down to make yourself look good and the opponent to look bad. Either make up an issue you may safely imply exists based on your interpretation of the opponent/opponent arguments/situation, or select the weakest aspect of the weakest charges. Amplify their significance and destroy them in a way which appears to debunk all the charges, real and fabricated alike, while actually avoiding discussion of the real issues. 5. Sidetrack opponents with name calling and ridicule. This is also known as the primary 'attack the messenger' ploy, though other methods qualify as variants of that approach. Associate opponents with unpopular titles such as 'kooks', 'right-wing', 'liberal', 'left-wing', 'terrorists', 'conspiracy buffs', 'radicals', 'militia', 'racists', 'religious fanatics', 'sexual deviates', and so forth. This makes others shrink from support out of fear of gaining the same label, and you avoid dealing with issues. 6. Hit and Run. In any public forum, make a brief attack of your opponent or the opponent position and then scamper off before an answer can be fielded, or simply ignore any answer. This works extremely well in Internet and letters-to-the-editor environments where a steady stream of new identities can be called upon without having to explain criticism, reasoning -- simply make an accusation or other attack, never discussing issues, and never answering any subsequent response, for that would dignify the opponent's viewpoint. 7. Question motives. Twist or amplify any fact which could be taken to imply that the opponent operates out of a hidden personal agenda or other bias. This avoids discussing issues and forces the accuser on the defensive. 8. Invoke authority. Claim for yourself or associate yourself with authority and present your argument with enough 'jargon' and 'minutia' to illustrate you are 'one who knows', and simply say it isn't so without discussing issues or demonstrating concretely why or citing sources. 9. Play Dumb. No matter what evidence or logical argument is offered, avoid discussing issues except with denials they have any credibility, make any sense, provide any proof, contain or make a point, have logic, or support a conclusion. Mix well for maximum effect. 10. Associate opponent charges with old news. A derivative of the straw man -- usually, in any large-scale matter of high visibility, someone will make charges early on which can be or were already easily dealt with - a kind of investment for the future should the matter not be so easily contained.) Where it can be foreseen, have your own side raise a straw man issue and have it dealt with early on as part of the initial contingency plans. Subsequent charges, regardless of validity or new ground uncovered, can usually then be associated with the original charge and dismissed as simply being a rehash without need to address current issues -- so much the better where the opponent is or was involved with the original source. 11. Establish and rely upon fall-back positions. Using a minor matter or element of the facts, take the 'high road' and 'confess' with candor that some innocent mistake, in hindsight, was made -- but that opponents have seized on the opportunity to blow it all out of proportion and imply greater criminalities which, 'just isn't so.' Others can reinforce this on your behalf, later, and even publicly 'call for an end to the nonsense' because you have already 'done the right thing.' Done properly, this can garner sympathy and respect for 'coming clean' and 'owning up' to your mistakes without addressing more serious issues. 12. Enigmas have no solution. Drawing upon the overall umbrella of events surrounding the crime and the multitude of players and events, paint the entire affair as too complex to solve. This causes those otherwise following the matter to begin to lose interest more quickly without having to address the actual issues. 13. Alice in Wonderland Logic. Avoid discussion of the issues by reasoning backwards or with an apparent deductive logic which forbears any actual material fact. 14. Demand complete solutions. Avoid the issues by requiring opponents to solve the crime at hand completely, a ploy which works best with issues qualifying for rule 10. 15. Fit the facts to alternate conclusions. This requires creative thinking unless the crime was planned with contingency conclusions in place. 16. Vanish evidence and witnesses. If it does not exist, it is not fact, and you won't have to address the issue. 17. Change the subject. Usually in connection with one of the other ploys listed here, find a way to side-track the discussion with abrasive or controversial comments in hopes of turning attention to a new, more manageable topic. This works especially well with companions who can 'argue' with you over the new topic and polarize the discussion arena in order to avoid discussing more key issues. 18. Emotionalize, Antagonize, and Goad Opponents. If you can't do anything else, chide and taunt your opponents and draw them into emotional responses which will tend to make them look foolish and overly motivated, and generally render their material somewhat less coherent. Not only will you avoid discussing the issues in the first instance, but even if their emotional response addresses the issue, you can further avoid the issues by then focusing on how 'sensitive they are to criticism.' 19. Ignore proof presented, demand impossible proofs. This is perhaps a variant of the 'play dumb' rule. Regardless of what material may be presented by an opponent in public forums, claim the material irrelevant and demand proof that is impossible for the opponent to come by (it may exist, but not be at his disposal, or it may be something which is known to be safely destroyed or withheld, such as a murder weapon.) In order to completely avoid discussing issues, it may be required that you to categorically deny and be critical of media or books as valid sources, deny that witnesses are acceptable, or even deny that statements made by government or other authorities have any meaning or relevance. 20. False evidence. Whenever possible, introduce new facts or clues designed and manufactured to conflict with opponent presentations -- as useful tools to neutralize sensitive issues or impede resolution. This works best when the crime was designed with contingencies for the purpose, and the facts cannot be easily separated from the fabrications. 21. Call a Grand Jury, Special Prosecutor, or other empowered investigative body. Subvert the (process) to your benefit and effectively neutralize all sensitive issues without open discussion. Once convened, the evidence and testimony are required to be secret when properly handled. For instance, if you own the prosecuting attorney, it can insure a Grand Jury hears no useful evidence and that the evidence is sealed and unavailable to subsequent investigators. Once a favorable verdict is achieved, the matter can be considered officially closed. Usually, this technique is applied to find the guilty innocent, but it can also be used to obtain charges when seeking to frame a victim. 22. Manufacture a new truth. Create your own expert(s), group(s), author(s), leader(s) or influence existing ones willing to forge new ground via scientific, investigative, or social research or testimony which concludes favorably. In this way, if you must actually address issues, you can do so authoritatively. 23. Create bigger distractions. If the above does not seem to be working to distract from sensitive issues, or to prevent unwanted media coverage of unstoppable events such as trials, create bigger news stories (or treat them as such) to distract the multitudes. 24. Silence critics. If the above methods do not prevail, consider removing opponents from circulation by some definitive solution so that the need to address issues is removed entirely. This can be by their death, arrest and detention, blackmail or destruction of their character by release of blackmail information, or merely by destroying them financially, emotionally, or severely damaging their health. 25. Vanish. If you are a key holder of secrets or otherwise overly illuminated and you think the heat is getting too hot, to avoid the issues, vacate the kitchen.

[klconstellation]

FAQ

I’m curious what your rating/content guidelines.

Our rating and guidelines can be found on our Rules & Guidelines page.

To sum it up:

This will be a SFW zine. This means no porn, no gore, and no swearing. Only canon-typical violence will be allowed.

Other characters may be included, but the focus must remain on klance.

No other ships beside klance are allowed.

Stories must be inspired by pre-existing fairy tales.

Can we use non-European fairy tales as the inspiration for our work?

Absolutely! If you know of fairy tales within your own culture that you think would be interesting to write, you’re welcome to! We highly encourage this kind of creativity and exploration! European fairy tales are the ones that most people know in western culture, but that’s only from one area. The world is full of stories that should be shared (but never appropriated) and celebrated respectfully.

Do we have to respect the original fairy tales or can we do some adaptation?

All we ask is that your story takes inspiration from an existing fairy tale. For example, take the tale of Cinderella. There are many ways to go with that one (as variants of it exists in many different cultures). It could take place in modern time. It could be straight-up adaptation. It could take some elements from it and ignore others. It just has to be inspired by a specific fairy tale.

Will artists and writers be able to create art for the same fairy tales?

No two authors will be allowed to use the same fairy tale. The same thing for artists, and again for merch artists. This is so that we have a variety of different stories within our zine, and is also a great way to explore lesser known fairy tales, or non-western ones.

That said, a writer, artist, and merch artist can all use the same fairy tale. This can be in collaboration, or unrelated to one another. 

(ie: There could be a story, art, and merch all depicting a variant of Cinderella, but there cannot be two stories that are based on Cinderella).

In regards to the fairytale we’re basing the stories off of, will it be first come first serve?

Not necessarily. We will have forms for our contributors to fill out in regards to this. 

Would ballets be considered for fairy tales (ex: swan lake/the nutcracker)?

There actually could be a lot of debate on whether these could be counted as fairy tales (since fairy tales are technically based on old, oral stories), but for the sake of simplicity, yes, we will be counting them as fairy tales.

Is Sketchbook Autodesk an acceptable program on which a piece can be completed for this zine?

Any program is acceptable as long as files can be created in the correct size, and saved either in CMYK, or saved in a way that one of our mods can convert it over to CMYK. Keep in mind that, if you are creating your artwork in RGB, the colours can be radically different when swapped to CMYK, especially reds, blues, and brights. 

Will be have our twitter handles or tumblr usernames credited as well, if we’re chosen?

You can submit all of your socials and stores if you have them, but we will only be using the main one you want us to promote on the contributor posts. They will all be listed on our participant page on our tumblr.

Are there any age restrictions for this zine?

No, there are no restrictions for the ages of people that can apply to this zine. Do note that all four of our mods are adults, but we intend to create a a very safe space for people of all ages. In regards to content, everything in the zine will be SFW, and for all ages.

Are there any requirements for traditional artists?

You must be able to scan, or take a high quality picture of your art. Please be aware that colours may change going from one format to another, especially since any pictures/scans would have to be converted from RGB to CMYK.

Can fairy tales be based off of friendly ones, or the original, darker ones?

As mentioned before, our zine is SFW, so that means there will be no porn, no gore, and no swearing. Only canon-typical violence will be allowed. That said, yes, fairy tales can take on a darker twist like the original ones. A staple of traditional fairy tales is that they all have happy endings, so if you work in some darkness or angst, it has to be resolved by the end.

You can base your fairy tale off of one that might not be specifically romantic, but since this zine is about klance in a romantic sense, it should be altered to reflect that.

Other characters can be included in your stories and art, but the main focus must remain on klance, and no other ships outside of that one is allowed.

Feel free to ask us any questions you might have here.

If you’d like to check through our asks to see if we’ve answered something already that’s not on this page, you can find those here.

Reminder that Artist and Merch Artist Applications close tomorrow at 11:00pm EST! 

Artist Application || Merch Artist Application 

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Ten Things I Learned from the Watchmen Movie

by Dan H

Thursday, 12 March 2009

Dan resists the urge to use a variant of “Who Watches the Watchmen” for his title.~

This was going to be a longer article, but I actually don't want to devote any more time to this ass-boring piece of shit.

Here's ten things I learned from watching the Watchmen (damn, I actually can't avoid using that sentence) movie.

1. I never want to see another Zack Snyder movie again. Seriously.

2. The seats in the Odeon are actually not fit for purpose.

3. When you decide not to see a movie because

one of the screenwriters is a smug twat

you should just not see it.

4. When adapting a comic book to the screen you should change the fucking dialogue. Things that look good written down just sound fucking stupid when somebody is trying to say them.

5. TV shows advertise in cinemas, how weird is that?

6. When you are adapting a comic book to the screen you should let the actors fucking move. Movies dudes – the clue is in the name.

7. When you are adapting a comic book to the screen you do not have to leave space in the shot for the speech bubbles.

8. If you get the urge to leave a cinema thirty minutes into the film, you should just leave. Particularly if you know exactly what every fucking scene will be because it does not deviate from the source material in any way.

9. Alan Moore dates really, really badly.

10. The plot of Watchmen doesn't actually make sense.

That's it. That's all the time and energy I can bring myself to expend on this.Themes:

TV & Movies

,

Watchmen

~

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~Comments (

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)

Arthur B

at 09:54 on 2009-03-12On 2: Yes, definitely, they're terrible. There's no leg room, which I suppose is a vice which cinemas will always indulge in, but the lack of fucking

cup holders

is baffling. Do they

enjoy

cleaning up spillages?

On 9: Somewhat agreed. I think the film would have been more timely a few years ago, when people doing terrible things out of the fear of WMDs and Republican Presidents being cacklingly evil would have hit a bit more of a raw nerve. Even then, it would be a victim of the comic's success; pretty much everyone who writes superhero stories since

Watchmen

came out is responding to it, if only in the sense that just about everyone who writes superhero stories has read it and has an opinion (pro- or anti-, mainly pro-) on it. It changed the genre it studied, and therefore immediately became outdated.

I still think

From Hell

is the only Moore book which has a claim to timelessness. Maybe it's the fact that it's ruminating on crimes that were a century old when the book was written in the first place.

10: I think people make more of a big deal out of the plot than it really merits. (Seriously, who cares whether it's a fake alien squid or a fake blue dick that blows the cities up?) It's just a framing device which, IMO, is deliberately over-the-top and stupid because

Watchmen

is a love letter to the superhero genre as well as a critique of it; the meat is in the character studies.

This does not change the fact that people are crying hot buttery tears about the squid not being in the film.

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Wardog

at 10:11 on 2009-03-12Watchmen is a love letter to the superhero genre as well as a critique of it; the meat is in the character studies.

Really? I thought it was about comics?

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Arthur B

at 10:31 on 2009-03-12

Really? I thought it was about comics?

I am mildly confused as to what you mean here but I'll try to answer it.

When

Watchmen

was written the superhero genre consisted of a) comics and b) adaptations from the comics. You didn't have (to my knowledge) anything like

The Incredibles

or

Soon I Will Be Invincible

or

Wild Cards

, where you have original sources for superhero stories which aren't comics.

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Rami

at 10:36 on 2009-03-12What's faintly depressing is that lots of the vaguely interesting and meta things coming out of Watchmen have already been done on film (

even in CG

), and people are still going on about how Revolutionary it is.

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Arthur B

at 10:45 on 2009-03-12

The Incredibles

can't be revolutionary because nobody has their arms cut off with a circular saw.

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Rami

at 10:46 on 2009-03-12Oh yes that's right, it's too family-friendly to be Gritty and Edgy and Totally Making You Look Differently At Life...

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Dan H

at 11:28 on 2009-03-12

It's just a framing device which, IMO, is deliberately over-the-top and stupid because Watchmen is a love letter to the superhero genre as well as a critique of it; the meat is in the character studies.

I dunno, I always thought that the whole "blow up the world to save the world" thing was supposed to be srs bzns. Fake Squid or Fake Blue Guy doesn't really make any difference, but I absolutely don't think it's supposed to be deliberately stupid.

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Arthur B

at 11:39 on 2009-03-12There's a man saying "What do you think I am? Some sort of supervillain?" as he wears a costume straight out of

Flash Gordon

in the middle of his Egyptian-themed fortress in the Antarctic as his genetically engineered lynx pads about, as the climax of an exchange in which he explains precisely how his scientifically ludicrous doomsday weapon fits into his epic scheme to change the world, and you think it's not intentionally silly?

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Dan H

at 11:50 on 2009-03-12I think it's intentionally *bathetic*.

You're missing two really important points, the first one being that the "what do you think I am, some sort of Supervillain" line is *followed* by the revelation that Ozymandias' scheme has actually worked. It's a bait-and-switch, he does the classic Villain speech in full on Villain attire in his Secret Arctic Base, but at the last second it is revealed that he has beaten the genre convention by putting his plan into action before the heroes were ready.

The second point is that Ozymandias' plan actually *works*. He genuinely does bring about world peace, and prevent the annihilation of humanity.

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Arthur B

at 12:02 on 2009-03-12But I think the point of the sequence is not to have a trite "guy who does supervillainous stuff but actually brings about a good thing" ending so much as it is meant to make a statement about the interaction of superheroes and supervillains (and to do that it needs to make sure the heroes are acting like heroes and the "villain" is acting like a wildly over-the-top villain).

The whole deal with the end of Watchmen is that it turns out Adrian was the only person acting proactively all along and everyone else was just reacting to him, just as in superhero comics in general the heroes are eternally reactive and only villains are proactive; it's the villains who are actually hoping to achieve something, and all the heroes ever try to do is get in the way of that.

But at the same time, I think in terms of the actual importance of

Watchmen

as a work the armageddon plot is one of the less significant parts. It's punchy when you read it the first time and it makes an interesting point, but it loses a lot of its impact when you know it's coming and the point it makes is kind of obvious. I liked it the first time I read the comic, but it's not the thing I

re

read the comic for - I reread it because of the character studies.

Put it this way: to my mind, you could swap out the entire armageddon story for some other MacGuffin, and

Watchmen

would still be a great book. But you couldn't lose the character studies without losing the spirit of the work. (It was originally conceived, after all, as a way for Moore to reimagine the various Charlton Comics characters that DC had acquired and introduce them to a modern audience).

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Arthur B

at 14:41 on 2009-03-12Having given the film more thought, I've decided that I'm actually really angry about the soundtrack: whoever picked the songs was the laziest motherfucker in the world, unfailingly picking the most obvious possible choice at any point. "The Times They Are A Changin-'" during an alternate history montage is an example, but I was particularly annoyed by the use of Cohen's "Hallelujah" during a love scene - it's a great song, but hasn't the poor thing been overexposed enough as it is? Let it rest.

The most bizarre aspect of it is that in the scene in question in the comic there's a Billie Holiday track playing in the background they could have happily used, and they'd get to stroke themselves and mutter about how loyal and true they were being to the source material. In fact, there's all sorts of song suggestions in the text which are pretty much ignored, so as well as being obvious, unoriginal, and inappropriate for the period the story is set in, the soundtrack is also incongruous for being the one aspect of the film which isn't striving towards loyalty. It's a small thing but it's really aggravating when you notice it - like if you realise the violinists in a symphony orchestra aren't bothering to play along with everyone else.

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http://fintinobrien.livejournal.com/

at 04:53 on 2009-03-13Point 3: Oh my god, Solid Snake is angry at me!

I like that Hayter talks about the "Snake fans" in the same sentence where he praises "smart" stories. Heehee, Metal Gear Solid is smart now. I must have missed the memo.

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Dan H

at 13:18 on 2009-03-13He's actually talking about Solid Snake from the metal gear series?

To be honest, I couldn't say who *else* he'd be talking about (unless it's the dude from the Simpsons).

To be honest, it was the reference to Rorshach fans that lost me - isn't the whole point of Rorshach that he actually *isn't* cool?

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Arthur B

at 13:23 on 2009-03-13David Hayter is the

English voice for Solid Snake.

Oh look, he's really excited by the idea of making a

Metal Gear Solid

movie! And he wants it made in CGI so he can voice Snake! Suddenly the motives behind his letter become clear...

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Wardog

at 14:52 on 2009-03-13Just when you thought things couldn't get any *worse.*

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Gina Dhawa

at 17:24 on 2009-03-13@10 - I love the thing to bitty pieces and the first time I got to the ending I said "....

wha?

". I think it's a faintly ludicrous plot, but I agree with Arthur that the plot is in fact is deliberately so. Veidt is closer to the superhero mould than anyone else (except Dr Manhattan), he's already "over the top". Not only is he smart enough to be a great traditional supervillain, even his physical feats are set as outstanding in the

Watchmen

universe - that whole thing about actually catching the bullet. This is why I like that they cast Matthew Goode, who looks far too young (not to mention fairly fragile) to be the comic's Adrian, because it brings to life how much larger than life Veidt really is.

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Arthur B

at 18:15 on 2009-03-13Yeah, while Dr Manhattan is the Watchman with the most actual superpowers I think there's a case to be made that Adrian is the closest out of all of them to the superheroes of the Silver Age; he's irritatingly perfect, never really worries about where he's going to get his resources from, pulls cool powers and gadgets out of his arse at a moment's notice and he never, ever, ever doubts himself for a second.

You could almost imagine him having Stan Lee's voice in his head breathlessly narrating all of his actions. DON'T MISS THE NEXT RIP-ROARING INSTALLMENT OF OZYMANDIAS, KING OF KINGS, AS OUR HERCULEAN HIEROPHANT BATTLES THE MUCK-RAKING MILKSOPS AT THE NEW FRONTIERSMAN!

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http://fintinobrien.livejournal.com/

at 04:00 on 2009-03-14

To be honest, it was the reference to Rorshach fans that lost me - isn't the whole point of Rorshach that he actually *isn't* cool?

Considering Hayter's draft for the script had Dreiberg killing Adrian because "it's what Rorschach would have done" I think Hayter missed that point. Actually, the idea that Rorschach is meant to be held up as an inspiration disturbs more than I'd like to go into.

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Wardog

at 10:51 on 2009-03-14God yes - you're absolutely right.

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Arthur B

at 13:10 on 2009-03-14Alan Moore has actually read Hayter's draft of the script - he said it was pretty close to the comic, but he still objected on the grounds that he thinks direct adaptations of comic books are a bad idea on principle. He's also mentioned being worried that Snyder would treat Rorschach as a heroic figure, considering his treatment of

300

; I don't know whether that worry came from reading Hayter's script, but I certainly don't think it would have been alleviated by it.

Still, the actor who plays Rorschach in the film does a good job of coming across as a psychopath, so at least

he

understands.

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Arthur B

at 11:14 on 2009-03-18So, David Hayter wanted everyone to go see

Watchmen

on the second weekend to make sure the film's earnings didn't collapse.

Well, an

approximately 70% drop

is

not really what he was hoping for

. Snake won't be pleased.

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Dan H

at 15:17 on 2009-03-18♪♪ It's ... Schaaaa-denfreude. Making the world a better place to beee.... ♪♪

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Arthur B

at 11:11 on 2009-03-25More schadenfreude:

Watchmen

performed

absolutely miserably

in its third weekend, and there's a growing consensus that, whatever its merits, it's a financial dud.

Of course, this means that Zack Snyder won't be able to find work in Hollywood ever ag

WAIT WHAT THE-

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Arthur B

at 16:13 on 2009-04-27Another dose of schadenfreude:

Watchmen

's

performance in the box office

seems to have been mildly worse than

Batman and Robin

's.

The consensus seems to be it's going to end up making some money on DVD sales, which is a consolation for the studio, but it's not delivered the dizzying return on investment that would have made sinking $100 million into it worthwhile.

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http://orionsnebula.blogspot.com/

at 08:34 on 2009-12-19Charitably? I'm inclined to think whoever picked the soundtrack was trying to call attention to the very soundtrackness of it, to pull the readers out of the scene a little bit. The comic book had the Tales form the Black Freighter overlaying the action providing a similar distance/ironic commentary, and also reminded you you were in a comic by doing tricks with the layout in Manhattan's chapters and elsewhere.

I'm not defending it, I think the soundtrack mostly backfires horribly and comes across and cutesy fourth-wall breaking, but that's my guess as to the intending effect.

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Show / Hide Comments -- More in March 2009

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #13: Robin Hood

Welcome back to Fate and Phantasms, where we’re bringing ever servant to life in D&D! Today we’re building the faceless archer Robin Hood. We have three goals for this build:

Faceless May King: You need to be able to sneak around.

Sabotage A: You need access to poison and traps to cripple the enemy before the fight even begins.

Yew Bow: You gotta be able to do a weirdly high amount of damage in a single shot.

As usual, a spreadsheet for this build can be found here, with an explanation below the cut.

Background and Race

Technically you could be any race you want, since you just have to be like Robin Hood to qualify for the throne, but we’re going with Variant Human since the one in-game is clearly human and we need the feat. As a human, you get +1 to Dexterity and Wisdom, proficiency with the Poisoner’s Kit, and the feat Crossbow Master, which lets you ignore a crossbow’s loading attribute, ignore disadvantage caused by aiming at someone in melee range, and lets you attack with a hand crossbow as a bonus action if you attacked with a one handed melee weapon this turn. “But Grace,” you say, “the poisoner’s kit is a tool, not a skill! The variant human doesn’t cover that!” And to that I say: what are you, a cop? Clearly not; you’re Robin Hood!

You background is Criminal, giving you proficiency in Deception and Stealth, and access to a criminal network i.e. the Merry Men. You could also go with the noble background if you want to play up the whole “Sir Robin of Locksley” thing, but the criminal skills and bonus are better for the build overall, so that’s what we’re going with here.

Stats

We’re using the standard array, roll if you want to, but keep stats up for multi-classing. Regardless, put your highest score into Dexterity. You excel in archery and stealth, and both of those are dex based. Next, Intelligence to help you keep all those traps straight. Mechanically this is wisdom’s job, but dnd doesn’t always make sense. Third is Wisdom to actually build traps. Fourth is Charisma, you have a certain roguish charm about you, enough to get a summer skin, anyway. Next is Constitution, and dump Strength. You need all that sneaking a poison because you’re not good in a straight fight, so don’t get caught in those.

Class Levels

1. Rogue 1: As a rogue, you gain proficiency in Sleight of Hand, Insight, Acrobatics, Perception, and Dex and Int Saves. You also gain Expertise, doubling your proficiency bonus in two skills (pick Deception and Sleight of Hand), Sneak Attack to add more damage to attacks you make with advantage or when your friends are next to them, and Thieves’ Cant, a secret language that takes 4x as long to get the message across. 

2. Rogue 2: You get a Cunning Action, letting you use your bonus action to hide, disengage, or dash.

3. Rogue 3: At third level you get your subclass, Scout from Xanathar’s Guide to Everything. This gives you the Skirmisher and Survivalist feats. The former lets you react to move half your speed if an enemy ends the turn within 5′ of you without proccing an attack of opportunity, and the latter gives you proficiency and expertise in the Nature and Survival skills. You hide out in a forest all day, so this works out swimmingly.

4. Rogue 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to beef up your Dexterity for better archery skills.

5. Rogue 5: You gain an Uncanny Dodge, letting you react to attackers you see to take half damage. 

6. Rogue 6: You get Expertise in another two skills, pick Acrobatics for quick getaways and Perception to avoid fights in the first place.

7. Rogue 7: You now have Evasion, now Dexterity saves to determine damage from effects like fireballs cause half damage on a fail and no damage at all on a success, because you’re so good at hiding even explosions can’t find you.

8. Rogue 8: Use your next Ability Score Improvement to max out Dexterity so you can split your own arrows.

9. Rogue 9: You gain Superior Mobility, adding 10′ to your movement so you can stay one step ahead of the sheriff. 

10. Ranger 1: For this build we’re using the Revised Ranger Unearthed Arcana, there’s a link to it in the spreadsheet. As a bonus for multiclassing into ranger, you get a skill from the ranger skill list; grab Animal Handling, you’re every version of Robin Hood rolled into one, so Little John might be a bear and you need to be prepared for that. As a revised ranger, you gain a Favored Enemy, which gives plus two to damage rolls against said enemy, as well as advantage on tracking and recalling information about them, and even a language that they use. Pick humanoids, since they’re the closest choice to “the rich”. You also gain Natural Explorer, letting you ignore difficult terrain, have advantage on initiative rolls, and advantage on attacks against creatures that have not acted this combat. There’s also several traveling perks, but most games don’t care overmuch about traveling anyway, so they’re glossed over here to keep this level from getting even longer than it already is.

11. Ranger 2: Second level rangers get spells as well as a Fighting Style grab Archery for plus two to ranged attack rolls. For spells, grab Snare to set magical traps and Fog Cloud to act as a smoke bomb when you need to make an escape.

12. Ranger 3: At third level you become a Hunter, giving you a Hunter’s Prey option. Grab Horde Breaker to deal an extra attack to a creature within 5′ of your original target. You also get Primeval Awareness, letting you communicate simple ideas to animals, learn how they’re feeling, if it is being affected by magic, and how you can persuade it to not attack you. You can also spend a minute of concentration to sense if you’re favored enemies are within 5 miles of you, giving you their number and general direction from you. Since you technically count as a humanoid, the answer is probably going to be at least one, right in front of you. Also, grab Absorb Elements as your spell this turn to further reduce damage coming your way and empower your own attacks.

13. Ranger 4: Use your Ability Score Improvement to power up your Wisdom to make your spells stronger.

14. Ranger 5: You gain an Extra Attack, letting you attack twice per turn, or three times if you also use Horde Breaker. You can only use Sneak Attack once per turn though, so pick your target carefully.

You also gain a 2nd level spell this turn; grab Pass Without Trace to make you and your party extra sneaky.

15. Ranger 6: You gain a Greater Favored Enemy, giving you another option to pick as a favored enemy (grab Elementals for easier Spirit Root farming), another language, and plus 4 to all damage against both Greater and normal Favored Enemies. You also have advantage on saving throws caused by a greater favored enemy.

16. Ranger 7: You can pick a Defensive Tactic, grab Multiattack Defense to give yourself +4 AC on second and subsequent attacks from the same enemy each turn. It’s not very Robin Hood-esque, but the other options aren’t particularly useful for you, so might as well.

You also get Silence, making sneaking a breeze and also letting you cancel out spellcasters who need to speak to cast.

17. Ranger 8: You gain Fleet of Foot, letting you dash as a bonus action (which you already could do), and more importantly your last Ability Score Improvement which will once again be put into Wisdom.

18. Ranger 9: You gain a third level spell, Conjure Animals, letting you bring the wrath of your Merry Men down on your foes, or at the very least cause a lot of chaos that you can exploit.

19. Ranger 10: You gain Hide in Plain Sight, giving other creatures a -10 penalty to finding you while you are hiding, so long as you don’t move. You stop being in hiding the second you make a sneak attack, but this makes it easier to pick your moment to strike.

20. Ranger 11: You gain a Multiattack option, pick Volley to let you use an action to make a ranged attack on any number of creatures within 10′ of a point you can see. You make a separate attack roll for each target, and you have to choose between a volley and a normal multiattack.

You also gain your last spell, Faceless May King, a.k.a. Nondetection. This spell makes it impossible to track you or one creature you cast it on with magic.

Pros: You’re good at sneak attacks and sneaking in general, especially when you’re in the wild. You’re faster than most PCs and can sense enemy ambushes before they happen, making you a great scout. You can also use this sense to set up traps and ambush the enemy right back. At later levels you can abuse the action economy with your animal friends, and if anyone tries to abuse it back you just hit them with a volley.

Cons: Your biggest strengths come from pre-battle prep: traps, poison, and sneaking around might not be highly supported by every DM (The poisoner’s kit doesn’t even have any official mechanical use). You also need to pick your targets carefully; you have a lot of attacks each round, but only one sneak attack, as well as several reaction skills. Finally, you don’t do a whole lot of damage on your own; you need your sneak attack to hit anything hard, or allies that can use your traps and poison more effectively.

[comicteaparty]

December 27th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on December 27th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Inhibit by Eve Greenwood / evegwood.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Inhibit by Eve Greenwood / evegwood~! (http://www.inhibitcomic.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

there are many great scenes, but i am particularly fond of victor in the parking garage. specifically, i enjoy the unfolding of events once masha joins the party. i love the fact that victor freezes up and just flat out doesnt know what to do. not only does this fit with his character, but i actually think its refreshing for a protagonist with powers to still just be a regular person deep down who does not have the required training to deal with that sort of situation. not to mention i love seeing paulina's powers in action

spire

Agreed! The garage is one of my favorites too. I love how Paulina is breaking rules left and right- not just laws (lol) but all the concepts that have been established so far about how powers are supposed to work. I really want to figure out what's going on(edited)

RebelVampire

or is she breaking laws? as in the powers. obviously shes breaking the other sorts of laws like dont set ppls property on fire. but i will save theories on the powers for a bit later. i do enjoy that she throws a wrench already into what's established. tho i felt bad for victor that nobody is listening to him.

another scene ive been enjoying is the current flashback where victor is a bouncy child. mostly because i love how excited about everything victor is. like wanting explosions just cause its cool. and i think its just this real contrast that builds tension for the narrative since youre like "victor man what happened O_O"

spire

No one listened to him then and no one listens to him now. I would love it if someone took him seriously for once

I would also love it it someone let him REST

RebelVampire

yeah my heart really hurts for him. because ive been in that position of sitting there constantly trying to tell someone something and then being ignored.

although i really think ppl need to learn moderation in regards to their expectations for victor most of all

cause it seems like ppl either 1) expect nothing from victor and think hes a loser or 2) pull a nate and expect victor to auto be this extremely capable person despite not having trained for anything in years

Superjustinbros

*jumps in

Hello~!

RebelVampire

hey super!

Superjustinbros

Hey Rebel!

Pleased to be here~

spire

Hello~

Superjustinbros

And hello to you too, Spire!

RebelVampire

another scene that i enjoy was when julia, david, and victor snuck back in to the building to eavesdrop. on a technical level i liked the writing for it because it was a scene that moved the plot along but also served to show off the relationship dynamics that exist between those specific characters. so as a narrative construct everything in that scene felt like it had purpose to one end or the other.

Superjustinbros

I just want to say, the faces in this comic are incredible.

http://www.inhibitcomic.com/comics/2658763/chapter-5-pg-11/ Especially this one on the bottom right

And then they play bloody Laser Tag

RebelVampire

yeah the faces on the kid are really some fantastic exaggerations

Superjustinbros

Oh yes

RebelVampire

but suits them cause theyre kids

Superjustinbros

There's lots of fun to be had with giving characters over the top faces.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. Victor has been shown to be a drastically different person than he was in his youth. What is the past incident that several characters bring up that apparently resulted in a trial and inevitably got Victor kicked out of Urquhart? What does it have to do with Masha, and do you think Julia was involved somehow considering she’s also at Earl Estate? Is it the reason Nate and Victor’s relationship soured as well? Do you believe the incident is what changed Victor so much, or is it several aspects of his life? Do you think any of this has something to do with why Victor has failed to improve at Earl Estate? Also, why do you believe Victor’s inhibitors are now failing him so badly? Lastly, do you believe his missions with Nate will have an effect on Victor’s personality? How so?

Superjustinbros

tfw it's already time to answer question 2

I'll stop posting these to the chat now

RebelVampire

well considering adult victor has some issue controlling his powers when hes emotional, im gonna assume something of that nature happened. potentially maybe to that bully who keeps picking on young masha. cause i feel like victor is gonna stand up to them or attempt to and get mad and then accidentally severely injure them or something. idk about julia being involved

tho looking back it looks like she has all her fingers as a child

Superjustinbros

That seems like a very good interpretation.

Considering he does shoot out electricity at impractical times, at least from what I've seen(edited)

RebelVampire

as for nate and victor's relationship souring, i think theres more at work than just this incident. i kind of get the impression that nate just kind of likes taking things out on victor even when everything has nothing to do with victor. but i think basically all this crap combined to shake victor's confidence and that's a large reason hes not improving. cause he just has no reason to be confident anymore.

spire

I think Vic's self worth has been raised into a precarious position thanks to being a gifted (in this case- super powered) child, and with how much his spark-outs are emphasized through the whole comic, something terrible must have happened with a spark and that lack of control was touted against him, which makes it near impossible to repair his self esteem

RebelVampire

yes definitely all that. cause i feel by and large that victor has just given up on himself. which tbf i dont blame him cause literally nobody is doing anything to help really. like theres not a truly positive influence. although to nate's credit i guess he's trying? just ya know, in a super bad way

spire

Lol yeah. That's a good way to put it

Nate is helping but in the worst way. Vic needs some genuine, earnest support

As for Julia, I suspect she gave herself frostbite? Noor is very strict about Julia forming ice around her limbs, and she must have been moved to Earl for a similar outburst of her own powers

RebelVampire

tbh i think julia has more control of her powers. from the impression i get anyway. i kind of think julia is just reckless and doesnt think her actions through. though i mean might of been an outburst too. i could really go either way. and maybe its both.

though frostbite is way more tame than what i was thinking happened XD

i was picturing more encasing an ice and then shattering said ice

frostbite sounds more reasonable and less horrific

spire

Omg

Julia just thought one day that it would be cool to be a snowman

She didn't consider the fact that she can't move. Once she becomes the snow man ️

RebelVampire

that sounds like something shed do. even now cause i dont feel shes anymore responsible than she was as a kid

which ya know narratively speaking is kind of a good contrast with victor in a way

spire

Yeah

RebelVampire

cause victor has no control of his powers but has a sort of reserved control of himself. whereas julia has control of her powers but is an explosion of bad decisions waiting to happen

spire

I love that about them. Despite Julia's recklessness I think it's good for Vic to not be sitting alone in his room 24/7

RebelVampire

idk i agree and disagree. its good for him to get out and socialize, but im not sure the ppl around him are well-suited to kind of give him teh space he needs.

tho tbf im not sure the estate is the healithiest place in general

it kind of feels like prison

QUESTION 3. Victor’s life changes a lot when he’s forced to join Nate’s team. Why do you think Nate is so vehement about having Victor as a temporary member on his team? Is he honestly just trying to help Victor, or is there is some other hidden reason? What did you think the way the retrievals were handled says about the world and its view on Variants? How might the first mission change Victor’s perspective on Variants and how they’re treated (if at all)? How will it affect how Victor deals with other team missions and/or the course of the story? Lastly, do you believe that Victor will be able to makes amends and bond with the team, or will he continue to be chastised and treated somewhat lesser?

spire

The way that variants are trained at places like Urq and Miller to almost solely police their own community is disturbing. Vic wants no part of it and it's perfectly understandable

Variants are monitored so closely through their whole lives. it's invasive.

RebelVampire

yeah. and i mean...theres a degree i want to be understanding. i would not want untrained variants just walking around causing accidents and such. cause theyve shown that their powers can be damaging not just to others but themselves and also all the property around them. so i can understand that variants kind of need a special thing going on for everyone's protection

but man do those places feel like prison

like when you cant even let someone's mom see their kid off

thats a bad sign

spire

In that kind of environment a variant is pressured to do whatever they can to appear trustworthy. Even if Nate is trying to help Vic out I think he's ultimately trying to make himself look better by helping Vic succeed

RebelVampire

that could be although i feel theres easier ways then making under the table secret deals. tho tbh i think theres a mix going on here. like i think nate does want to help victor and wants to see him succeed. but i also feel like nate isnt altruistic either. more like he wants to help victor cause he feels like victor is his one failure that he cant leave to continue to be a failure just for the sake of his own pride.

Superjustinbros

“I think he's ultimately trying to make himself look better by helping Vic succeed”

This thought caught my eyes

RebelVampire

although it could also be that nate sees something of himself reflected in victor. cause nate did freak out when masha wasnt just flat out listening to his captain's orders. and i kind of feel that reflects his own feelings of being unsure of himself

Superjustinbros

Perhaps

RebelVampire

but i kind of wonder if theres an issue of dormancy at play in all this? cause if nate feels like he's losing his powers and position soon, that could be a prime motivator in whatever he feels hes got to do

like hes running out of his chance to do that one super awesome thing that immortalizes him in history

spire

Ooooooooo that's a very interesting thought

Reminiscent of thinkin you need to be ultra successful by the time you're 30

I hadn't thought of nates motivation that way before :0

RebelVampire

yeah and this is kind of an extreme case of needing to be successful by 30. cause in this case its kind of true in a way. since im sure if youre a variant the powers are kind of part of who you are. but by 30 you lose that and essentially have to redefine who you are as a person. and i think thats more true with the way their system is set up since their glorified prisons are so life encompassing.

spire

Yeah. That's got to be terrifying, knowing your whole identity is going to disappear one day, one day SOON

RebelVampire

yes. or so were led to believe. cause tbf i got sinister vibes from that scene with the doctor checking young victor for dormancy. so maybe all we know is a lie and dormancy is not a natural process but something forced upon variants.

spire

OOOOOOOOHH

Terrifying if tru

Superjustinbros

Yeah that scene creeped me out a bit

and it just came out of nowhere

RebelVampire

cause i agree with young victor. why are you checking a kid for dormancy if you know the typical ages for dormancy

and i feel that line is there for a reason

spire

I wonder if he's still wondering that now, 9 years later?

And I hope he is

RebelVampire

maybe hell remember it

Superjustinbros

Exactly, Rebel. (about the dormacy part)(edited)

RebelVampire

cause to tie in the 2nd part of that question, i def think victor is on the path to see the injustice in how variants are treated

those facial expressions in the van were already on the extreme i feel sorry for these people side

QUESTION 4. Inadvertently, Victor becomes involved with a dangerous arsonist named Paulina. What do you think Paulina’s powers are? Is she a pyro as many believe, or is there something funky going on with her powers like Victor believes? Why do you believe Paulina attacked Miller, and why do you think she’s so desperately looking for Chalice? Where do you think Paulina even came from given she isn’t declaring any facility as her origin? Why, of all people, do you think Paulina went to Victor specifically for help? Given Victor gets Julia involved, how might the residents of Earl Estate affect Victor helping Paulina or not? In general, do you believe Victor will help Paulina or not, and how will this choice affect the rest of the story?

Superjustinbros

I'm going to say maybe she has multiple powers versus most of the other characters that only have one

spire

That's what I was thinking too

Superjustinbros

I mean she really is mysterious, since her profile is still //||?⁄⁄/⁄\ | on the site

RebelVampire

idk. i mean its certainly possible. but im also willing to think that she has one power that doesnt fit any of the predefined powers the world established. so like shes a new variant type. or that she knows how to use her pyro powers in a way that nobody thought possible

but multiple powers is still possible

im just more willing to error on the side of it still fitting in with established laws and we just dont get the full picture yet

Superjustinbros

maybe like dark/gravity powers, or some power that's otherwise considered taboo?

spire

I think ultimately Vic's going to be looking for some truth and working with Pauli will appear? To get him some answers

Superjustinbros

Considering het background is nothing like the others

And yeah, maybe that ends up happening

http://inhibit.smackjeeves.com/files/what.png I mean can anyone translate this(edited)

RebelVampire

no but its probably just for the purposes of making her mysterious

and wont change to not give new readers spoilers XD

spire

Yes I believe that's simply to keep it mysterious for new readers

Superjustinbros

Yeah

RebelVampire

i think victor will def help paulina, although im not sure i get the impression paulina is gonna inspire victor to look for truth persay. though if she gets him to chalice, i think chalice will make him question stuff.

Superjustinbros

Maybe, just maybe.(edited)

RebelVampire

i kind of get the impression that paulina didnt come from any facility but instead has been living and training outside the system. cause we dont really know the process by which the facilities collect variants in the first place. like obviously we see victor's mom bring victor. but like...was it the law? was it under threat hed be taken anyway? how did ppl know?(edited)

and without knowing these things i can think of a lot of reasons paulina just skirted by the system

Superjustinbros

Definitely could be something outside the system, since it's still a mystery

spire

I'm wondering if the only reason Pauli chased Vic down to Earl is because she has blackmail to make him help her find chalice. If she asked anyone else she's obvs get turned in to the police or taken home?? Wherever that is???

Well, I guess it's not really black mail. So I don't really know

RebelVampire

maybe paulina just picked him cause hes the only variant she knows now who didnt immediately try to arrest her

and tbf

victor is a good choice cause he would seem easy to intimidate into doing what you want him to do

spire

TRUE LMAO

RebelVampire

tho i couldnt fathom why she wants to find chalice. i mean the assumption is she wants their help. but maybe she super hates them and chalice is corrupt and bad. and that there is no good in this world. or something depressing like that.

Superjustinbros

lmao

Plus he's the protagonist

RebelVampire

paulina got super meta and said "hey victor you feel like a protagonist. you can probably help"

XD

Superjustinbros

XD

Protagonist Syndrome in a nutshell

RebelVampire

that makes me feel bad for victor. victor seems like the last person whod ever want to be a protagonist

just wants to sleep in his room instead

spire

Hashtag relatable tbh

Superjustinbros

Yes

RebelVampire

since we only have 4 mins left, are there any final thoughts to share?

Superjustinbros

I'd love to do the same lol

I want to say this has been a great read so far, it's got great characters, lots of emotion, and lots of charm.

(And lots of good expressions)

Good luck with the comic, Eve, it's really going strongly so far.

spire

I think inhibit really nails what it feels like to be pinned by the expectations put on you by all levels of society, but still allowing itself to breathe and be funny and so human

RebelVampire

i think inhibit is a great story with memorable personalities. but most of all it has a relateable protagonist whose inner demons can speak to most ppl, and watching his journey is definitely probably something that will inspire hope

unless victor dies

then no hope

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Eve Greenwood / evegwood, as well, for making Inhibit. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Eve Greenwood / evegwood’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: http://www.inhibitcomic.com/

Eve Greenwood / evegwood’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/evegwood

Eve Greenwood / evegwood’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/evegwood

Eve Greenwood / evegwood’s Paypal Donation Link: https://www.paypal.me/evegwood

Eve Greenwood / evegwood’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/evegwood

Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Princess Pups by Lindsay Hornsby. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, January 3rd, from 5PM to 7PM PST for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: https://tapas.io/series/Princess-Pups

[automatismoateo]

How could any theist justify why their God hasn't yet answered the prayers of probably billions of people now to put an end to this pandemic? via /r/atheism

How could any theist justify why their God hasn't yet answered the prayers of probably billions of people now to put an end to this pandemic?

News today of a new variant of concern out of South Africa as we close in on 2 years of this pandemic. Millions, if not billions, of people around the world are suffering mentally, physically and financially from covid. Millions have died...and there is no end in sight.

So I wonder, what hope does any individual possess to have their individual prayers (even non-covid related prayers) answered if the billions of people who are praying or have prayed for an end to covid are seemingly ignored for so long?

What does humanity need to do to implore relief from god?

Surely one of the Gods conjured up by humanity over the millennia would give a shit, right?

At what point does God wake the fuck up and do something?

Submitted November 26, 2021 at 11:04PM by hipsiguy (From Reddit https://ift.tt/3CXtUv6)

[quranreadalong]

#144, Surah 27

THE QURAN READ-ALONG: DAY 144

The Solomon story was very much like the plot of Valvrave the Liberator. At first, it’s weird as hell but at least enjoyable. Then it descends into an uncomfortable place, and you’re just hoping the ending redeems it. But the ending only serves to confuse and disappoint you. Oh well.

Today we have more familiar tales to deal with, starting with our friend Saleh. There are a couple of new details this time, at least.

To remind y’all: Saleh lives with the Thamud people, who are incorrectly described as the builders of the Nabataean “city of Hegra”, also known as Madain Saleh. Saleh tells them to worship Allah in 27:45, but they say no. He asks why they are “hastening on evil” (the doom) instead of pleading for Allah’s mercy. They tell him that he seems like a bad omen to them, so they’re ignoring him. This is the new detail:

And there were in the city nine persons who made mischief in the land and reformed not. They said: Swear one to another by Allah that we verily will attack him and his household by night, and afterward we will surely say unto his friend: We witnessed not the destruction of his household. And lo! we are truthtellers. So they plotted a plot: and We plotted a plot, while they perceived not. Then see the nature of the consequence of their plotting, for lo! We destroyed them and their people, every one.

Now this is interesting. The camel story isn’t even mentioned here, and instead Allah destroys the whole city because nine people wanted to kill Saleh (which is bad btw). This version--where there is no magic camel and where the people’s sin is that some of them planned on murdering Saleh instead--is not mentioned in any of the other variants of the Saleh story we’ve seen so far (in suwar 7, 11, 17, and 26). Hmm. I’m not sure what to make of this, since this surah apparently came before some of those other ones and after the rest of them. As far as I recall, this passage here is the only place in the Quran where Saleh’s story goes like this. Did Mohammed confuse him with a different prophet here, like Shuaib? Were there different versions of the story kicking around? We just don’t know.

Regardless of whether they killed the camel or plotted to kill Saleh and his family, the whole city was destroyed, with only the believers being saved (bad again). And that takes care of that.

Lot is up next, and his story is more standard, though the whole angels/daughter/rape thing is skipped over. He scolds the people of Sodom in 27:54 for the fact that they “lust after men instead of women” (still bad). The Sodomites respond to this by threatening to kick him out of town. So Allah kills everyone in the town besides Lot’s household (but his wife is killed). Yep........ bad.

That’s it for the prophet stories. The remaining third of the surah is just Mohammed yelling at the polytheists of Mecca. Allah is the best (and only) god, he tells them, and sends rain etc. The next ayah repeats surah 25′s (incorrect) assertion of a “barrier between the two seas”:

Is not He (best) Who made the earth a fixed abode, and placed rivers in the folds thereof, and placed firm hills therein, and hath set a barrier between the two seas? Is there any God beside Allah ? Nay, but most of them know not!

But, you know. It’s neutral. The next one is semi-good, saying that Allah removes evil and answers the prayers of the distressed. It’s a rant against the polytheists again, but it’s nice in theory! The rants continue, with Allah sends the wind etc, Allah is the creator of all etc, Allah knows all, blah blah blah. Polytheists who doubt the afterlife and resurrection--preferring to follow the beliefs and customs of their ancestors--should “travel the land” and see the consequences for such disbelief.

Sigh. That last one is bad, but the rest can be listed as neutral. I miss Solomon’s ants.

NEXT TIME: I think we can finish the surah.

The Quran Read-Along: Day 144

Ayat: 25

Good: 1 (27:62)

Neutral: 17 (27:45-50, 27:53, 27:56, 27:59-61, 27:63-68)

Bad: 7 (27:51-52, 27:54-55, 27:57-58, 27:69)

Kuffar hell counter: 0

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