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moodymisty · 2 months

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𝕽𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝕺𝖓𝖑𝖞 𝕸𝖊

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 soon

Author's Note: Hi... I finally finish this part. The last two are actually fairly close to being done, I was just really held up on this one. It's not my favorite, but I just had to get it done.

Summary: A Night Lord becomes interested in you while you stand under the eyes of your Salamander guardian, and you find yourself stuck between two titans.

Relationships: Yandere Salamander/Fem!Reader/Yandere Night Lord

Warnings: Hints of nsfw at points, Yandere, Size differences, Very toxic suffocating relationship(s), Some knight/princess dynamics, Demeaning language, Both these guys have hero complexes, Violence blood and bruises and possibly death to say without spoilers

Word Count: 1376

Ever since the moment you met him, Lev has been your shadow whenever Ralkan isn’t around.

Every time, not long after you leave your quarters, he seems to find you.

Whereas the Salamanders have rigid training regimens they must abide by every single day- though day is a bit of a loose term in the depths of space - it seems the Night Lords are largely left up to their own devices as you travel to their destination.

You suppose it makes sense, daily training wouldn’t do much for them other than entertainment; These Night Lords are clearly the best of the their genestock, brought aboard to show the Salamanders who they were working with.

Ralkan had been extremely displeased with you when you’d called this all a pissing contest. The much younger Salamander in your company at the time had snickered at your joke before getting quickly reprimanded and sulked his way back to the firing range.

But as much as he denied your comment and attempted to dissuade any ill will between the two legions as merely the occasion disagreement, you've heard from around the ship that attempts to keep things amicable however have largely failed. You’ve heard rumors of the Night Lords getting into fights with Salamanders, barking and goading confrontation like rowdy, feral street dogs.

Ever since Lev had an altercation with a Salamander- you don't even know if he was the first one to do so- it seems to have only gotten worse. And you still have at least another two weeks in travel before you reach your destination, with everyone trapped in here like fish in a barrel.

At least the Salamanders have weapons, the baseline humans aboard the ship have been forced to shuffle around and avoid eyesight of any Night Lords, and pray they don't stick out of the crowd.

Your conversations with the others aboard the ship might be brief, but you know that some have gone missing. As if the implications let out by Lev's cohorts at the time of your first meeting hadn't already queued you in on it.

Sitting at your desk in the midst of some monotonous work you glance to your left, leaning over to open a drawer and reveal the contents.

The centerpiece of them all is a Night Lord combat knife. The metal shines, but far less that you would expect it to. It's like it eats the very light that touches it. You kept it hidden, Emperor forbid Ralkan found it, but...

You didn't want to throw it away either.

You could hear the sound of the pipes thrumming as you looked up at Lev, and he looks down on you. A serf passed by behind him at a quick pace; Even quicker when Lev turned just slightly at the neck to watch them and make sure they moved along.

He'd found a moment in-between moments- the few seconds where Ralkan wasn't watching - to find you. Perhaps that should unsettle you. But he's given you the first real conversations you've had in awhile besides Ralkan, and you couldn't help but pause.

Ralkan is a safe embrace, Lev is a precarious drop; But you keep looking over the edge.

"You look tired," He said, looking down at you with lazy eyes. He always looks somewhat sleepy and unimpressed himself.

"I was going back to my quarters to sleep, until you stopped me." He grew a smirk that showed sharp, near overgrown canine teeth.

"Maybe you should tell that Salamander of yours to back off then."

You crossed your arms across your chest like a self-assuring hug and focused on the bat wings stretched across the chestplate of his armor.

"Do you know he always has eyes on you? Even when he isn't around? Even his brothers are watching you."

You assumed he's been having trouble getting a moment where it's just you; Many have, not just him. Ralkan has watched you so intently since Lev started sinking his talons into you, and despite finding comfort in him keeping the Night Lord with unknown intentions at bay, you also find yourself tugging away for just an inch of space.

Unfortunately, that space leads right into Lev.

"...His name is Ralkan."

You swallow a knot in your throat. As much as you knew you could talk to Ralkan, push back against some things he said, you had no idea where Lev's limits are; What words might make him decide you're more fun as toy he can break than one he's gentle with.

"Here."

Lev reached to his belt and pulled a knife from it, tossing it in the air gently to grab it by the blade tip and push it out towards you. You didn't touch it, leaning away and staring at it like it's diseased. It might as well be; You don't know what unsaid intentions you'd be accepting if you took it from him.

"I saw your Salamander gave you something," You assumed he was talking about a small trinket Ralkan had made at the forge for you, one of a few. The necklace that dangles around you neck at all times now was also from him.

A practice with things more delicate, he had said.

"Here's something of my own. Don't lose it."

You hadn't lost it, but it had taken some hiding to keep it out of Ralkan's sight. You knew that if he saw it, the rough and disgusting gift- much unlike Ralkan's delicate one - would be gone in an instant.

Perhaps you shouldn't care, it's from an astartes you barely know, but something about it just makes you want to keep it.

Your entire vision as been Ralkan over these past few months. Especially these recent weeks since Lev arrived. The sight of something, someone else is almost enthralling- no matter how dangerous. You've caught yourself looking at the knife multiple times now, remembering the way Lev's armoured fingers wrapped around sharp edge of the blade as he gave it to you, even once having to slam the drawer shut quickly just before Ralkan entered your room to take you somewhere.

He hasn't caught wind of the knife itself yet, but you have a feeling he knows you're hiding something. He's given you openings to say, but you've declined them all. You assume he knows Lev is somehow finding you and is hoping you'll tell him how, what rat holes he's using to get to you, and it frustrates him that you won't.

He probably thinks the astartes is threatening you to not tell him. Rather than that you don't want to.

You close the drawer, hearing the contents jingle around while sighing.

You'd curse even coming aboard the Flamewrought, but you can't deny the advantages of being here. Your work, the people you've met, though most of those people are gone; Ralkan is almost all that remains. You speak to some of his men at times, but the interaction is always brief and controlled.

“Where’s your Salamander now, little one?”

You suddenly burst up from your chair, it sliding with a hideous squeal as you hit it with the back of your knees and nearly stumble over. Lev meanwhile stands in the doorway, watching before stepping inward. You take a step backward as his right hand reaches out to slam the door controls and shut it behind him.

“He left you all alone in here?”

You hold your hands close to your chest as if trying to protect yourself, watching him stare at you with black eyes.

“These are my quarters, he doesn’t stay here.”

Lev scoffs and rolls his eyes. He steps closer, ignoring the way you step back to try and maintain the distance. Seeing him in the halls is one thing; There's a chance a Salamander could see you in distress and help you, or you could scream and try to run, but here you're far out of the way of everyone else by design, and with nowhere to even try fleeing to.

"I'm sure he would choose otherwise, had he the chance. He keeps a very close eye on you, you know. He'd be quite disappointed you left the door unlocked." You do know, quite well in fact, and reiterate as such.

"I'm... Well aware of how through his guardianship is."

He must find either you or the situation funny, and laughs.

"What then, does his Salamander duty and rigor prevent him from going any further? Or do you have someone else already, and he's forced to keep his hands to himself?" He laughs again, but it comes out like an indignant snort.

"A pity, I'm sure it makes him furious having to spend so much time protecting a little thing like you and not even get to enjoy it."

It's cold in this room, always is- the entire ship is chilled, recirculated air - and it makes you able to feel the noticeable heat radiating from his body and his armor as he approaches you.

He smiles, leaning in closer. You know you're out of space when your shoulderblades finally knock against the wall.

Closer again. You can feel his breath on your face, how his long hair tickles your skin. Even closer and his stubble rubs against your skin, burning it.

His lips press against yours and you whimper into his mouth, a noise that makes him moan. Your fear spurs him on and he presses his lips to yours harder, feeling when your hands grab the seams of his armour and either try to helplessly push him away, or at least hold on until he's finished with you. The scar across his upper lip scrapes against yours much like his stubble does- everything about him is rough and jagged. Only when your whimpers get louder and start turning into muffled cries does he finally pull away, his teeth raking over your bottom lip before he pulls them away with a soft ‘pop’.

His smile his bright, like he just found a brand new toy.

“You are soft,”

He says, twisting his brother’s words from weeks earlier. He has this look in his eyes, bright with curiosity, like he’s enthralled by something so simple. You can feel your heart slamming against your chest as you stand in his shadow, tears wanting to prick at the corners of your eyes. You know you have something he wants, but while he's being gentle, the vast unknown behind his eyes his terrifying. But is that unknown better that suffocating?

Lev seems to think it is, one his his gauntlets gripping your clothing as gentle as the armour allows him.

"I can take you, I'll get you away from him and I can keep you safe, all to mys-"

"Get away from her."

Lev pulls back, turning to see Ralkan standing in the opening doorway. His hand rests on the handle of his chainsword ready to pull the trigger and rev it to life, and the look he's giving the Night Lord is nothing short of hellfire.

"It is one thing to be on our ship, but I thought I was quite firm in my orders to keep your disgusting hands off of her, and keep your distance."

The smile Lev had quickly fades into an unimpressed and angry sort of look, wrinkling his nose. He doesn't move away from you, instead just turning.

"You don't get to order me around. I'm no brother of yours."

That struck a nerve of Ralkan's, you can instantly tell. His shoulders squared and his hand flexes around the handle of his chainsword, just tight enough that you hear the engine start to kick on and the chain's teeth rattle as it threatens to spin to life.

“I am from Nocturne. I am well versed in slaying dragons, a rat like you should be nothing at all.”

Lev rolls his eyes, unimpressed by Ralkan's formality. He finally turns from trapping you against the wall to give the Salamander his full attention, allowing you to scurry off to the side.

But while Lev seems casual his hand rests close to his own blade, and despite the smirk on his face and casual lean he is just as prepared to fight as Ralkan is.

“Even if you do kill me Salamander, it doesn’t change that you’re just hoarding her all to yourself.”

The two and their energies make this room feel microscopic in size, as Ralkan shifts and evens his footing. Lev straightens up slightly, putting his hands closer to the weapons hanging from his hip.

You stand back trapped in here with them, with no chance of racing by without either one grabbing you for themselves.

You can only step back, and hope that it doesn’t escalate any further than this.

#warhammer 40k x reader #space marine x reader #salamander x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting #Yandere!Salamander/Fem!Reader/Yandere!NightLord

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miyamoratsumuu · 2 months

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ok round TEW!!! i am now commencing self destruct by sending in cardigan by taylor swift, with tdrk sho the pookie wookie dookie loml beloved. (behind the screen i am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure, clawing at the walls, sliding down the door and jumping out the window while wailing sobbing and crying)(break time before requesting b4 prolly 1 more tmr!! sorey if its a lot 😞😞 dont write too much ok make sure u eat drink sleep nd everything)

CARDIGAN

cardigan by Taylor Swift, acapella ver., ft. Shoto Todoroki

⋆ you knew him. and after every moment you shared, you realize you don't know him anymore.

⋆ todoroki shoto x reader ⋆ written in 2nd pov, wc: 1.6k ⋆ this request is from the 400 followers event!! mha masterlist ⋆ other notes: I finished writing this only to realize there's no dialogue at all I'm so sorry 😭 and and!! unlike my other shoto work, y/n gets a happy ending<3 (atleast i think it's a happy ending)

⋆ cw: implied cheating

the warmth that enveloped you when you put on your newly ironed uniform didn’t feel so bad on your walk toward UA high. cellphone in hand, the hustle and bustle of what you assumed was your assigned class for this year, welcomed you as soon as you stepped through the classroom door. first days always become such a blur as the school year passed by. yours wasn’t going to be any different, until you locked eyes with the boy that kept to himself at the back of the room.

everyone else was introducing themselves to one another, in hopes of making themselves known even before formal introductions of the class began. except for two. the one up front of the class seemed off limits right from first glance. now that you look back at the memory, the second guy that was seated at the back looked off limits too. if he wasn’t, he would’ve been mingling with your other classmates already. thinking of it now, maybe you shouldn’t have approached todoroki shoto. but you did. the excitement of the new highschool life filled your senses, and your first year self was blinded by it.

you assumed your first interaction with the man would’ve been one of those cute meet cutes in any rom-com. the upbeat girl introduces herself to the stoic straight faced guy, they become acquaintances, he slowly lets down his guard for her, and they fall in love! the moment you finished telling him your name though, you began to think otherwise. he was looking at you, sure. but it didn’t seem like he was going to let loose anytime soon. your idea of a cute rom-com moment slowly faded away. just slowly though, good thing you had patience.

you knew who shoto was. you knew how he refused to use the other half of his quirk in refusal to represent his father. you knew how he didn’t come to ua to “make friends”. you knew what he aimed to be as a hero in training, but it’s been months since you made yourself acquainted with that version of him. and huge changes could happen in the span of a few months. the joy of your time together at ua overcame shoto without him realizing it. you could thank midoriya for being a huge part of that.

you didn’t know when it started, but the glances shoto sent your way that lingered more than they should, the subtle touches whenever you were in the common room together, and the gentle smiles he wore only for you to see became more and more evident. you didn’t mind, why would you? highschool wouldn’t be the most fulfilling experience without the rush of a new love. and the suggestion of shoto reciprocating that feeling was something you wouldn’t trade for the world. it’s dangerous to assume, but it wouldn’t be completely unlawful.

your assumptions were only proven true when after pouring your heart out to shoto, he didn’t make a move to turn you down. instead, you felt a hand on yours as it was carefully brought up to meet his lips. the kiss he placed on each of your knuckles was gentle, and he cradled your hand as if it was glass. and as if he was scared to break you. that would be his worst nightmare, to be the one that broke you. it was an unspoken promise, but he swore to be the one to love you as best he could, to leave a mark on you emotionally, proof of his undying care for you.

“to be seen and understood is to be loved” was what your relationship with shoto felt like. with a handful, if not all your classmates being so powerful, smart, and charismatic, it didn’t take a genius to see that the ones that didn’t aim to be on top would be pushed aside. you were one of the latter. though the longer you were acquainted with shoto, the quicker the shadows that covered you faded away. to you, it felt like a miracle. a blessing, to be seen by the son of the most powerful in japan. but to shoto, it felt like the easiest thing he’s ever done in his life. to him, loving you felt like losing a piece of clothing only to find it and treasure it more than he ever did. it was like he found his favorite cardigan that’s been missing for months right under his bed.

it would be a lie if you said shoto wasn’t the best love you’ve ever had and could ever have. most would grow sceptical of you, seeing as you were only in your second year of highschool and you were already proclaiming things about being with the one love of your life. you were too young to be that in love, as they would say. your relationship wasn’t completely out there, but those who would ask about what the two of you were, would get an honest answer. you were proud of telling them that shoto todoroki was your lover, and you were his. he claimed to feel the same, and you knew he was genuine.

and you were right. you only knew, but you sure as hell didn’t know who shoto was now. the sound of laughter and excitement resounded around the common room of class 3-A’s dorms in anticipation of welcoming the new year. the same year that would be your last with the group of people you grew with as a person, and the people you grew to love more than anything. well, maybe not anything. or anyone. you turned down mina’s offer to join them outside to watch the fireworks the school would set off, instead choosing to search for the one person you haven’t seen yet all night. quickly understanding, the pink haired girl gave you a “goodluck!” before turning around and catching up to kirishima.

not being able to spot shoto in the whole first floor only meant he was in his own dorm. the elevator trip seemed to take ages as you made your way to the fifth floor. as soon as the doors opened, you immediately stepped outside and made a beeline to your boyfriend’s dorm. you raised a fist to knock on the door when you noticed it was already opened. worry and curiosity both overcame you at the same time. it wasn’t like him to leave his door unlocked and even slightly opened like this, after all. you gently pushed it open just enough to poke your head inside. and like they all say, curiosity killed the cat.

the room was dark, except for the moonlight that shined through the open balcony doors. the curtains were cast aside, giving you just the perfect view of the two figures that stood on the balcony. you were so focused on not seeing shoto in the common room, that you didn’t realize yaoyorozu was nowhere to be found too. nevermind that, you found her now. both of them, actually. yaoyorozu had her back leaning against the balcony’s railings, her eyes downcasted. shoto was the complete opposite. he was standing right beside her, and if you didn’t know any better, it looked like his eyes were glued onto her.

‘it’s dangerous to assume, but it wouldn’t be completely unlawful.’ before you could even make assumptions, any thought that wanted to deny that whatever was happening between them wasn’t what you think it could be was cast away. you could feel your chest being held in a vice grip when shoto placed a gentle hand under her chin and had her meet his eyes. not realizing it, you held your breath when shoto slowly inched his face closer to yaoyorozu’s, all the while she didn’t show a sign of resisting what she knew was about to happen. the final blow struck when their lips finally met right when the fireworks were set off in the night sky.

what could’ve gone wrong? just a few months ago, you couldn't be more thankful for the clouds that covered the moon’s light, simultaneously hiding the way you couldn’t take your eyes off of the man in front of you. you were seated beside shoto on the bed in his dorm, the quiet atmosphere of the night surrounding the two of you. his mindless doodling on your scarred arm using his finger didn’t seem so mindless when you could feel that what he was drawing were stars. stars that highlighted your hard work, the years of training you went through together, and the lives you saved, leading you to earn those scars.

as shoto continued to draw stars around your scars, you promised to kiss his in turn. the only difference now was that the feeling of gentle kisses lingered on his scars, while yours held stars that felt like they were etched on with a knife. kisses healed shoto's scars while yours were left to bleed for as long as they did. as much as either of you tried to change your ending, only one of you could receive the happily ever after.

now, he was kneeling in front of you, the only source of light that proved it was shoto in front of you, was your front porch light. he looked exhausted, and the look he gave you was a silent plea for you to let him in like you always did before. you always claimed that letting him in was the best decision you have ever made. nevermind that. your best decision was to let the only pro hero that stood above him in the charts, your husband, shut the door right in shoto’s face. but not before making sure that he saw the way katsuki held your hand, the same way he used to hold yours. only this time, the promise of not being the one to hurt you was held strong and never to be broken. the boy seated in front of the class that looked “off limits” wasn't so bad after all.

a/n: I feel like pacing is literally non-existent in this and that the storyline is so messy but ANYWAY we don't mind that :D ALSO IK YOU HAD A KITA REQUEST BEFORE THIS SAKU I'LL GET TO IT SOON PROMISE!! I'm ashamed of myself bc I literally sort of maybe forgot how kita's character was like exactly so I wanna rewatch season 4 before I do the suna, kita, and atsumu requests 🙏🏻🙏🏻 TYSM FOR REQUESTING MY POOKIE I HOPE THIS IS ALRIGHT!!

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ada7201 · 9 months

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How about the Blue Lock female player reader who has Unohana's personality, in the Blue Lock vs Japan u20 match? The Unohana reader is basically scaring the shit out of the Japan u20 team before the match starts, while in the match, and also after the match. She even scared Sae. For the first time, Sae felt true fear for the first time in his whole life.

i absolutely love this. i also love sae, but my man needs to be put in his place! for rin ♡ also, i’ve mentioned this before but i havent finished the blue lock manga so i don’t know much about the u20 team! i’ll just write them how i want for the sake of the story :3

“she’s scary!”

★ part 1 ★ part 2 ★ part 3

warnings ⭣ ⭣

female reader, swearing

(don’t forget to request any ideas you guys have!)

the japan u20 team were pretty surprised to hear that a girl was on the blue lock team - and even more surprised when they met you before the match.

you seemed so sweet, and gentle! how could a girl like you be a striker? an egoist?

“did you see the girl? she was a total snowflake!” Sendo chuckled, thinking back on the way you were so sweet to him - conversing with him as if he wasn’t gonna be playing against you the next day.

“yeah, but she was a hottie!” Aiku would chime, slipping his shirt on.

“she seemed really nice!” Neru would smile.

“lukewarm, is what she is.” Sae would sigh, looking away from the team to shuffle through his locker.

their opinions soon changed as they got onto the field.

as soon as they took their first step onto the field, a dark sense of dread came over the team.

“does anyone else feel that?” one of the players would ask, chuckling nervously.

they all shrugged the feeing off, instead choosing to listen to their ego and play.

the whistle was blown loudly, signaling for the match to start when you came rushing towards the u20 team, eyes sharp.

Aiku’s eyes widened, feeling a gust of wind past him - only to realise it was that girl from the day before who had just passed him.

wow, you were really fast -

“Aiku! move!” another u20 player would shout, warning him to move out of your way as you followed after them, attempting to steal the ball from under their feet.

you were like a flash on the field, easily passing any player and taking their ball.

SLAM!

the sound of your foot crashing against the ball echoed across the field - before the crowd cheered at your goal.

y/n scores the first goal of the game! 1-0 in favour of blue lock!

Shidou wasn’t all that surprised at the sound - as he had heard it many times. but you couldn’t say the same for the rest of the u20 team - who had wide eyes.

how could your foot even make that sound?

Sendo watched as you once again sped towards their side of the field, feet thumping against the field with each heavy step you took.

“the fuck do you think your doing? either move or get that ball stolen from you.” you say, dark eyes trained on the player in front of you.

should he do it—? no, he can’t! his ego won’t allow it -

your eyes seemed to darken impossibly more, face contorting into a scowl as you watched Sendo clearly disobey your order.

SLAM!

your foot slammed down on the ball as you passed to Rin.

“how dare you.” you whisper as you finally get a moment to stand, and breathe.

you lean closer to Sendo, ego filled eyes narrowing.

“don’t ever think of doing that again, okay?” you hiss, before dashing away and towards the ball who was being kicked by Sae.

you couldn’t see, but Sendo’s face paled significantly, and his eyes widened.

was he… sweating?

SLAM!

y/n scores once again! blue lock in the lead, 3 - 1!

you were staring to irritate Sae - who do you think you are, coming onto the field like that and acting like you’re not just another player who wants to be the best?

he never thought you were that scary, until he felt your dark presence loom over him.

he could practically feel your ego radiating off of your soft skin.

“move, or get run over.” you say simply, eyes practically stabbing through Sae’s back.

Rin was on the other side of the field, but he knew - he could see on his brother’s expression that something was off. he must’ve run into y/n, Rin thinks.

he noticed the way Sae’s lips slightly frowned - eyebrows knitted together in fear.

Sae was … scared. really fucking scared.

how could he not be, when you were right behind him ready to collide with his bigger body?

“i said fucking move!” you practically bark, before running past him - your shoulder bumping his.

the rest of the game was a blur to everyone - the only thing they could remember was your dark eyes glaring back at them.

the locker room was silent, only the player’s shaky breaths could be heard.

you had fucking crushed them and their team.

could their ego ever recover after receiving such a blow?

Sae could barley stand walking near you as you exited the building.

“oh, hello. you’re Sae, right?” you’d say sweetly to him, smiling politely at the older Itoshi.

he slowly turned his head to you, heartbeat quickening as he heard your voice. it was lighter than when it was on the field, yet he still couldn’t help but feel nervous.

“um, hi.” he managed to choke out, taking a side step away from you to create some distance, which you responded to by moving closer.

“you’re a good player.” you say, that sugary smile still on your lips. “i’m sorry if i scared you.”

scared him…?

you fucking terrified him, along with the rest of the u20 team.

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slayfics · 1 year

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Hellloooo i was wondering if u could do a Muichiro nsfw where like muichiro walks in on Tsukugo Reader changing and like gets kinda “exited” and has to take breaks during training bc he just can’t stop thinking about it? (Sorry I’ve never really done an ask for nsfw sorry if it’s not very clear lol)

Muichiro accidentally walks in on you changing.

Warnings: NSFW themes | Muichiro aged up

You were later than usual for meeting Muichiro to start training. After some more time passed he decided it was best to check on you. He made his way over to your room and knocked on your door.

You had overslept and were rushing to get ready. In your haste and scramble to find your uniform, you hadn't heard Muichiro knock on the door.

After not receiving an answer from knocking Muichiro became worried that something might be wrong and slid your door open. It was then that he was met with the sight of you changing into your uniform—with more exposed skin than he had ever seen from you before.

Muichiro turned around just before his face turned the brightest red it had ever been. Immediately, he covered his nose to catch his nosebleed that started to cascade down.

"My apologizes!" he managed to say and swiftly left, leaving you to your privacy.

How sweet, you thought. You had never been late before, so Muichiro must have been worried and came to check on you. Embarrassment rushed through you as you suddenly realized that he had walked in on you changing. You finished getting ready and decided to pretend like nothing had happened when you made your way over to meet him for training.

After walking in on you changing, Muichiro quickly made his way back to where you both usually trained. He took a deep breath as he tried to wash the image of you out of his mind. He had to be able to focus on training... but that was the most of you he had ever seen.

You were undeniably beautiful. As he went over the image of you ingrained in his memory he felt his breathing begin to shallow. NO. He shook his head. He had to shut down any lustful feelings he felt.

This didn't just feel lustful though. He knew because the thought of you with anyone else ignited a deep rage inside him. No... he wasn't just lustful for you, he cared a great deal about you. Every time you left on a mission he felt a painful hold on his heart as he anxiously awaited your safe return.

Muichiro shut his eyes tight and tried to stuff down his feelings. It was then you joined him.

"Hi! I'm sorry I'm late I overslept. It's not like me, please forgive me Tokito!" you pleaded.

Muichiro wasn't the least bit worried about you oversleeping. Maybe he should be, but how could he be after the events of this morning?

"It's alight, let's just get started," he said, eager to move past the incident.

You two began your usual training routine. However, today Muichiro seemed to be a bit slower. Slow enough to the point that you were actually able to land a hit on him. That had never happened before.

As soon as it happened, Muichiro knew it was because he was letting himself get distracted. His mind wandered back to the image of walking in on you. He scolded himself inside his own head. You were here, fighting hard every day, expecting the best training from him as a Hashira. How dare he slow down and affect your training due to his own desires?

You felt excited at being able to strike Muichiro for the first time and felt encouraged to try and land another. The two of you continued to spar until you were able to land the best strike against the Hashira yet.

Your attack caused Muichiro to fall onto the floor and you on top of him. Muichiro quickly bit his lip at the pressure and sight of you on top of him.

"I did it!" you yelled excitedly, throwing your fist into the air. This action caused you to slightly bounce on top of Muichiro.

This was too much for the Hashira to handle. His face turned completely red, and he shut his eyes tight, trying to fight his lustful urges.

He gripped you around your waist and moved you off of him, while continuing to shut his eyes, refusing to look at you. If you had spent any longer on top of him, you would have felt his excitement grow.

"I'll be right back," he said and walked inside the mansion. You waited outside confused. Wasn't he proud of how well you did today?

Muichiro walked inside, shutting the door behind him. He leaned against the walk and let out a big sigh. He couldn't do this anymore. He had to do something. He didn't want to admit he couldn't train you objectively because he didn't want you around any other Hashiras. The idea of you training under someone else made him sick. The only choice was to control his feelings, he decided.

Muichiro looked over to see cold water beside him and decided to splash it on his face. This helped him to gain control of himself for a moment. Just then, you had decided to walk in to check on the Hashira.

"Oh... were you hot outside? You could have told me," you said, giggling at the sight of Muichiro dripping wet.

Muichiro stood frozen looking at you unsure of how to respond. You were so adorable coming to check on him with your soft smile. Muichiro wanted nothing more than to pull you into him, lift you up, and wrap your legs around his waist - NO. He halted his thoughts once more.

"I just needed a break. I'm ready now," he managed to say, clearing his throat and wiping some of the water off of his face.

"Ok master Tokito, after you!" you said enthusiastically, your frame bouncing ever so slightly, causing Muichiro to have to look away.

He took in a big breath of air as he made his way back outside, unsure of how much longer he could contain himself around you.

Thank you for the request! This was a fun one to write hehe~ Thank you to @plvuii for proof reading this one for me!

Tagging those that asked~

@aeolia18 @muichirouswife @yandere-kou

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illiterateaffairs · 1 year

Text

DISTRACTIONS VIII | OPEN WOUND

pairing: jamie tartt x f!reader (ted lasso)

rating: T

word count: 7,743

summary: you and jamie have officially taken your relationship to the next level. but jamie still feels like he isn’t good enough for you.

A/N: once again, thank you all for all of the patience as you waited for this long-delayed chapter, as well as everyone who reached out while i was under the weather. i love and apperciate all of you! this was a hard chapter to write, even now that i’m feeling better, so i hope it was worth the wait. icymi, thinking this is chapter 8 of 12 formal parts so we’re almost at the end, but i anticipate writing more drabbles set in this universe!💗

distractions masterlist | previous chapter

It wasn’t unusual that Jamie woke up before you, however it was usually when he had to meet up with Roy for training. This morning, though, once he opened his eyes and saw you sleeping peacefully beside him, there was no falling back asleep. He’d had the forethought to text Roy at some point last night to tell him he wouldn’t be able to make it to practice, knowing there was no chance he was leaving this bed without you.

Yesterday has been a rollercoaster for Jamie. After a few days of impending dread that you were going to end things with him after feeling you pulling away, you’d called and invited him over. The sound of your voice made his stomach flip and he’d had a shred of hope for the first time in weeks that maybe these feelings he’d developed for you weren’t one sided. Once deciding to go to your place after meeting with the team to fix up Sam’s restaurant, he was feeling confident enough to confess to you no matter what. He couldn’t let this go on any longer without you knowing what you meant to him.

The nerves crept in when the boys and he were finishing up dinner, and he’d texted you to let you know he’d be over soon.

“I can’t wait to see you,” he’d boldly texted only to regret doing so when he received no reply from you.

You’d probably fallen asleep on the couch watching one of your shows, he’d told himself. He texted you one more time before he started driving to let you know he was on his way. By the time he reached your flat, there was still no word from you. It wasn’t like you to not respond, even over the past few weeks when things were rocky, you still never fully ignored him. You had to be asleep.

He debated how loud he should knock, simultaneously not wanting to disturb you if you were in fact passed out on the couch, but also just wanting to at least be reassured you were alright. He ended up knocking at a normal volume, and was pleasantly surprised to hear your footsteps approach only moments later. A small smile instantly formed when he saw you, until he noticed that you looked like you’d been crying. He quickly moved to comfort you and his mind began racing with thoughts of what could have possibly made you so upset, and no matter what it was, he’d do anything to prevent it from happening again.

You didn’t get the chance to explain when another person popped the bubble you two seemed to form whenever you were together. Upon processing that another man was in your home, his chest began to feel like a piano had dropped onto it. Who the fuck was this? He thankfully had enough sense to analyze the situation and see that whoever this was, was clearly upsetting you so he couldn’t let his thoughts get too carried away. But that didn’t stop him from feeling defensive. Jealous. Protective.

As soon as the name Mason was uttered from the prick’s mouth, Jamie had to hold back from decking the guy across the face, for everything he did to you months ago, and for having the nerve to show up here and cause you any more distress. Then he had the nerve to call you ‘babe’ like he had any right to even be in the same room as you, let alone call you a term of endearment without any sense of affection behind it, only possessiveness. But he knew punching your ex wouldn’t make you feel any better.

Somewhere in the midst of his quiet rage, and focus on your well-being, the other man accused the two of you of being together, and Jamie quickly realized this meant you must have told him about the two of you in some capacity. At that moment, he wasn’t sure if you’d used him as an excuse to kick your ex out, or if it was true, but it didn’t matter. All he knew was this asshole needed to get as far away from you as possible. He almost threw all chivalry out the window when he watched Mason step closer to you, but luckily you moved away and maintained composure as you once again asked him to leave. Jamie immediately backed you up and all but pushed Mason out the door. As soon as he disappeared down the stairs, relief flooded Jamie’s chest and his heart pounded when you’d asked him to stay.

However, anxiety started creeping back up when he remembered what Mason had said.

“Don’t tell me he’s the one you moved on with?”

Had you moved on from Mason completely? And did you have feelings for him?

He’d hesitantly and quietly asked you just this, and you’d shyly admitted that you had indeed fallen for him, and Jamie could not remember a time when he’d been more happy. And despite his nerves, he never felt more proud to share that he had feelings for you, too. The rest of the night was a blur of kisses and tangled up limbs. He’d had great sex countless times before, specifically with you, but it was beyond incredible that night. You were incredible.

Now as sunlight crept into your room, he watched you sleep peacefully in awe. He could not fathom how he’d gotten so lucky to even know you, let alone call you his. He’d hoped you were his - not in a possessive sense - in a relationship sense. But between all the sex and lazy pillow talk in between, you two hadn’t exactly decided on any labels. He knew you were more than friends, and certainly more than just benefits, but he was a bit unsure of what that looked like from here on out.

He wasn’t aware of how much time passed as he watched you breath and traced nonsensical shapes across your hip, but before he knew it your eyes - your beautiful eyes - were fluttering open to meet his.

A warm smile takes over your face as you process your surroundings and Jamie can’t help but reciprocate.

After a few more quiet moments, you whisper, “Hi.”

“Hey,” Jamie whispers back. He doesn’t hesitate to close the very minimal gap between your two heads to kiss you, but your fingers press against his lips before he can.

“I have morning breath,” you whine quietly.

“That’s never stopped me before,” he tuts playfully and presses his lips against yours anyway. Despite your initial complaint, you hungrily reciprocate and Jamie practically smirks into the kiss

As much as you want to get carried away, you reluctantly pull away and lean your forehead against his. “I guess we never really talked about what happened last night.”

“We were a little busy.”

You huff out a laugh, but don’t meet his eye. After a few quiet seconds, you speak up again, “I’m sorry about Mason. He showed up out of nowhere.”

Jamie frowns, leaning away from you a bit, “You don’t need to apologize for him.”

“I know,” you nod, your fingers beginning to play with his absentmindedly between your two bodies, “I just feel bad that you even had to see him. I feel bad that I had to see him.”

“I don’t care about him,” he assures, his free hand combing through your hair comfortingly, “I just care that you’re alright.”

You nod, “I’m okay.”

After a beat, Jamie finds himself asking, “Was there any part of you that…considered taking him back?”

“No,” you answer immediately, clearing Jamie of any worries, “I think I want to believe his apology because I know I deserve one, but any feelings I had for him are completely gone. I have feelings for someone else. In case you missed that part.”

Jamie grins, “No, I remember that part very clearly. I think you said something like, ‘Jamie you are the nicest, sexiest, most talented footballer I’ve ever met and I can’t go another second without being with you’.”

You snort, “I don’t quite remember it like that. Was that before or after you told me I’m ‘the hottest, funniest, cutest person you’ve ever known and that I would make you the luckiest man in the world if I was your girlfriend’.”

Jamie laughs, “Not sure I said all that.”

You shrug, “Well, it’s all true, so can’t see why you wouldn’t’ve.”

Jamie’s amused smile turns into a shy one. “Even the part about you being my girlfriend? You really want to be that?”

You give him an unsure smile of your own, “I do if you want to. Be my boyfriend, I mean.”

“Oh, I definitely do,” he nods, leaning forward to press his face into the crook of your neck, “I’d be the luckiest man in the world, apparently.”

You laugh loudly, from his return of your joke but also from the vibration of his words against your throat. You settle down as his words turn into soft kisses that trail up to your jaw, to your cheek, and to your ear. As Jamie peppers more soft kisses across your face, nerves replace the butterflies in your stomach.

“Jamie?”

He plants one last kiss against your lips before peering down at you from above, “Yeah?”

“Would it be okay if we still kept our relationship quiet for a little bit?” you ask timidly. “I think I’d like to stay in this bubble we’ve had for a little longer, while this is still new, if that’s okay with you?”

Jamie’s quiet for a couple moments, and you worry that this is a deal breaker for him. However, he gives you a small smile a second later which instantly alleviates your nerves. He settles back beside you and pulls you into his chest.

“Of course,” he whispers into your hair, “I like having you all to myself. Although, I should probably tell you, Roy sort of knows.”

“Oh, yeah,” you chuckle, “I kind of knew that.”

“What?” Jamie’s eyes narrow, “How?”

“He mentioned it to me the other day. Wanted to make sure I wasn’t leading you on for nothing.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, it was sweet, actually. Didn’t see that coming from Roy Kent.”

Jamie snorts.

“In that case, you should know that Rebecca knows.”

“I did know that.”

“And Sam.”

“Wait, what? Sam, too?”

You nod, peering up at him through your lashes, “I only told him yesterday when I was panicking over how much I like you.”

“Aw,” Jamie smirks, “Kinda nice to know the effect I have on you.”

You roll your eyes, “Well, he told me you’ve kinda been obsessed with me this whole time.”

Jamie’s smirk drops, “What did he say?”

“Just something about Richard talking about me, and you flipping out.”

Jamie’s eyes fall closed, “I did not flip out. I just respectfully let him know you wouldn’t be interested in him.”

“Says who?”

“Says who-?” Jamie’s eyes snap open and so does his jaw. He spends half a second in complete shock before seeing the playful smile on your face, “You’re mean.”

“I’m sorry!” you laugh into his chest, “But you’re cute when you’re jealous.” You look up at him and see him pouting. You give him another grin and begin kissing up his chest to his neck, “Don’t worry,” you whisper between kisses, “I am all yours.”

Jamie sighs as you continue pressing kisses to his neck before ultimately capturing his lips with yours once again. There are voices in his head trying to convince him this is all too good to be true; that he should be more worried about your need for secrecy but he ignores them. For now he allows himself to get completely lost in you. His girlfriend.

You and Jamie arrive at the club separately later that morning, Jamie having reluctantly left your home to go to his so he didn't show up in clothes from the night before. However, you somehow manage to show up within moments of each other.

As you walk into the parking lot, you find Sam exiting his car and eagerly approach him with a kind greeting. You can tell he wants to ask you whether or not you confessed your feelings to Jamie the night before, but before you can put him out of his misery, Jamie’s own car pulls into the lot. He gets out and while you both try not to make eye contact, you can’t help but feel a gravitational pull toward one another.

Jamie nods at you, “Morning, Y/N.”

“Good morning, Jamie.” Neither of you can keep the goofy smiles off your faces. You’re lucky Sam is the only one around - you’ll need to be better about keeping this on the down low.

“Hey, Jamie,” Sam calls out with a smirk of his own that only grows when Jamie’s eyes snap to his in surprise.

Jamie smothers his smitten smile for a more cordial one, “Hey, Sam. See you inside?”

Sam nods. Jamie gives you one last look and another tiny smile before walking away.

You can barely look Sam in the eye as he spins back around to face you with a shit-eating grin.

“Don’t-”

“You did it!” he squeezes your shoulders and shakes you gently, “You told him you liked him!”

You can’t help but laugh as you shush him, “While it didn’t go exactly as I would have wanted, yes. I told him I liked him and he likes me and we’re…together.”

“Yes!” He engulfs you in a tight hug, “I’m so happy for you.”

You squeeze him back, “Well, can you be happy and quiet? We’re trying to be discreet for a little while longer.”

“Why?” Sam questions, pulling away from you, “I thought you’d be excited.”

“I’m, uh, buying time to try to figure out how to tell Keeley,” you explain to him, “I know that it's been a while since she and Jamie were together, but I don’t want to break girl code, you know?”

“Ah yes, the rules of female friendship are very sacred,” Sam nods sagely, “I guess we should get inside. I want to make sure I have time to tease Jamie before training - discreetly of course.”

You snort as the two of you head inside. You part ways with Sam after making him promise to be nice to Jamie, before you head towards Rebecca’s office.

You poke your head in her doorway and the older woman beams at you from her spot on the couch. She sets down her cup of tea and gestures eagerly for you to sit with her. As you sit beside her on the couch, you look around the room, trying to figure out how to tell her about your updated relationship status. However, Rebecca lets out a gasp, interrupting your brainstorm.

“Oh, my God, are you and Jamie are officially together?”

Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head, “How the hell do you do that?”

“I’m psychic,” you tilt your head in interest and Rebecca rolls her eyes, “No, you just looked nervous and I saw Jamie when he came in a few minutes ago and he seemed like he was on cloud nine. Figured it had to do with you.”

You shake your head, “You’re still ridiculous.”

Rebecca shrugs with a grin, “What can I say?” She pokes your arm, “Why don’t you look as happy? This is a new development I assume, so you should be in the honeymoon phase.”

“We are. I am. I just…we’re still keeping it a secret,” you sigh, before quickly adding, “Except from you, Sam, and Roy.”

“Uh huh. And why exactly do you need to keep it a secret if you’re actually dating him now?”

“I’m procrastinating telling Ted,” you admit sheepishly.

Rebecca frowns, “Why? Ted adores Jamie.”

“I know. And Jamie loves Ted. That’s the problem. He looks up to him. I don’t want to make their dynamic weird by putting myself in the middle.”

Rebecca shakes her head, “Or it could make it all the better.”

You shrug, “I think I’d rather wait a little before I find out.”

“I support you whatever you decide, but I think you worry too much about other people,” Rebecca sighs, “But you’re happy, though? With Jamie?”

You bite your lip to keep from beaming, “Extremely.”

A slow smile creeps its way onto Rebecca’s face before the two of you start squealing.

Jamie finds it hard not to proclaim his feelings for you when Isaac asks him why he’s in such a good mood, but he manages to find something else to say. That something else being: “The fuck? I’m in a normal mood, thank you very much,” to which Isaac holds his hands up and backs off, muttering, “Okay, I take it back. Relax, bruv.”

Yeah, he wasn’t exactly thrilled you were still keeping your relationship a secret, even after graduating from just fuck buddies. But you were together and that was all that mattered. He was happy, and you were happy. At least he assumed - hoped - you were happy. You wouldn’t just enter another relationship that wasn’t making you happy. Unless you were just doing it to make him happy. But then why would you confess your feelings first?

God, Isaac was right; he did need to relax. He was just in his head. This was the first time he was in a real relationship with someone. Sure, he’d had relationships before, with Keeley and other girls, but this time he gave a shit. A lot of shits. So many shits it made his stomach hurt, he thought he needed to take a shit. But he felt like he was tricking you into dating someone who may or may not have been just as bad as your last boyfriend. You had no idea the prick he used to be. While he knew he wasn’t that guy anymore, and that the absolute last thing he’d do was hurt you, he was still terrified he’d accidentally end up doing that anyway. He worried a part of you thought that would happen, too. That’s why you weren't jumping at the chance to tell everyone. Again, he understood and believed what you said about not wanting to burst your personal little bubble yet, but his insecurities were louder than his common sense.

As he sorted through his locker, nearly giving into all of his toxic thoughts, Sam popped up behind him and almost gave him a heart attack.

“Jesus,” Jamie startled as Sam gripped his shoulders.

“I hear someone’s got a girlfriend,” Sam sing-songs softly. Jamie spins to face him and cautiously looks around the locker room, “Don’t worry your secret's safe with me. I just wanted to say that I’m happy for you, mate.”

Jamie feels his cheeks heat up and the side of his mouth quirks up, “Thanks, man.”

Sam smiles back, “And for her, too. I only found out she liked you yesterday, but I can tell how happy you make her. It's kind of adorable.” As Sam starts to step towards his own locker, he playfully adds, “Just don’t fuck it up.”

Jamie’s stomach flips. If Sam thought he made you happy, it had to be true. He also heard Sam’s other point loud and clear - he couldn’t fuck it up. He swore on his life he wouldn’t. And if that meant not telling anyone else for the time being, his lips were sealed.

Over the next few weeks, you and Jamie manage to keep your relationship a secret all the while finding time to meet up at the club or at one of your respective flats. In some ways it's like nothing has changed as you sneak in make out sessions - or a little more - during lunch breaks, but in other ways it's not. Jamie particularly likes the little things your elevated relationship status brings to the table. You’re a lot more affectionate and share more words of affirmation, things Jamie hasn’t been particularly used to. Jamie’s the same way with you, and he opens up more little by little. You can tell there are things he’s still holding back, but you trust that he’ll tell you with time.

Just as your relationship has been better than ever, so has AFC Richmond’s track record. Since their victory at Arsenal, they’ve won three more games in a row. Jamie cheekily credits you with part of the reason he’s been doing so well as of late, and while you know that’s hardly the truth, you still accept the compliment and the many, many kisses that follow.

You’re together for about a month when Michelle and Henry visit England, along with Michelle’s new boyfriend, Jacob. In anticipation of their trip, you talk yourself up to the idea of telling your aunt about your new, official boyfriend. You were nervous to tell anyone in your family, particularly your dads. And Ted. You figured Michelle would be good practice and she’s always understood you differently than the paternal figures in your life. She used to be your go-to person to talk about boys with, and was the first person you told when you started dating Mason. But once you’d moved to Chicago and things with him started feeling off, you avoided talking about him when you could. This was different though. You were happy and proud to be in a relationship with Jamie. It should be easy to tell people. You should be bragging about it.

Unfortunately, when the opportunity strikes itself, you freeze. Jacob was making sure the last of their things were ready for their Paris trip, and Ted was getting Henry ready to go to the club, so you and Michelle had a moment alone. She even teed you up perfectly and asked if you were seeing anyone, but instead of enthusiastically telling her about Jamie, you anxiously laughed and told her no. No, there wasn’t a guy who treated you like you deserved and made you feel you’ve been struck by lightning every time you’re together. You told her you were happily single, straight to her face, like a liar. Because you were a liar.

The last few weeks you’ve been making up excuses to Jamie, Sam, Rebecca and yourself as to why you couldn’t admit to anyone else that you were dating Jamie. And while all of those reasons had validity, there was still a nagging feeling in the back of your head that didn’t want you to tell anyone even if those little worries went away. But you didn’t know what it was. You just hoped it went away sometime soon so you could be with Jamie in the way he deserved. Not hiding away, but out in the world together. With a modest amount of PDA. You weren’t an animal.

You push the uneasy feelings in your stomach away to wish Michelle and Jacob well on their trip. You stand beside Ted and Henry and wave them off as their taxi disappears down the street, before the three of you start your walk to Nelson Road Stadium. A few minutes in, Henry naturally walks ahead of you giving you and Ted the chance to talk. Per usual, he senses that something’s off, but you tell him you’re just a bit down this morning, and that Henry being here was already starting to cheer you up. Then you whisper that Jacob annoyed the shit out of you the entirety of your breakfast at Crown and Anchor. Who the hell dates one of their formal couples-therapy clients? You could tell Ted has also been uneasy since your meal, but he lightly scolds you and tells you to play nice. You do manage to clock the tiny smile in the corner of his mouth when you quietly refer to Dr. Jacob as a wanker and you take the tiny victory.

When you arrive at the club, you part ways so you can get set up in your office for the day, but you tell Henry he can visit you at any time. He knows the drill not to tell anyone that you’re related, seeming to understand the power dynamics of corporate culture in his own little kid way. There was a reason he was your favorite cousin.

He takes you up on your offer barely thirty minutes later. He bounds into your office, already going on about how Will showed him what it takes to be a Premier League kitman, and you barely have time to wonder how he knew where your office even was. Henry sits criss-cross-applesauce on the chair across from your desk as he asks you questions about your job and you try to make it sound as exciting as possible. He lights up when you tell stories about the mishaps you’ve witnessed during team training. You’re nearly about to attempt a PG explanation of the red-string incident - though you’d only heard about it second hand from Jamie after the two of you shared a particularly potent bottle of wine a couple weeks ago - when the man himself appears in your doorway already dressed for practice. Your heart skips a beat, both from seeing his face and the mental reminder to not let your secrets slip to either of the boys in the room, but you trusted them both enough to let yourself relax.

“Hi, Jamie,” you call out brightly, alerting the younger boy to the footballer’s presence. Once he turns to see Jamie, he eagerly sits up and greets him, “I was telling Henry here all about the glamorous life of a Premier League club owner’s assistant.”

Jamie nods and crosses his arms, “Hmm, what do you say, Henry? Would you rather stay here and help her go through documents all day, or come to training with me and the team for a bit?”

“Definitely training!” Henry exclaims with no hesitation.

“Okay, ouch.” you tease with a fake frown.

Jamie chuckles and nudges Henry’s arm, “You can head down to the pitch if you want then. A few of the boys should already be down there waiting for ya.”

“Awesome!” Henry cheers, practically sprinting out of your office. He calls out a goodbye and apology to you, promising to spend time with you tomorrow.

Jamie quirks an eyebrow at that and your heart stops briefly again, but you remain calm.

“What’s tomorrow?” Jamie asks, shutting the office door so you’ve got some privacy.

You shrug as nonchalantly as possible, “He probably said that to be nice.”

False. You had lunch plans with Henry, Ted, and Beard tomorrow. Yet another lie you’d told today.

Jamie nods, his eyes trailing you as you get up to formally greet him with a kiss.

“What brings you to my office?” you ask, pulling away but keeping your arms interlocked around his neck. “Can’t stay away from me?”

Jamie smirks, “While that is true, Ted actually asked me to bring Henry to the pitch while he talked to Rebecca about something.”

You hum, with a small smile, “Did you know you’re kind of Henry’s favorite player on the team?”

His smirk turns into a genuine grin, “He told you that?”

Technically no. But since you’ve been working for the club, every time you’ve had the chance to speak to Henry over Facetime, he always asks about Jamie. And you knew it wasn’t a coincidence he was number 9 on his own soccer team. Even when you and Jamie weren’t an official couple, and before you’d even started hooking up, you thought it was cute how much Henry looked up to the footballer. And when you commented on it, Ted remarked that Jamie always made Henry feel special each time he visited, even early on when Jamie was less than the friendliest guy on the team. You had to admit, being good with kids was definitely a turn on.

You just nod. Jamie’s smile turns mischievous again. “Who would you say your favorite player on the team is?”

You bite your lip and look off in the distance pretending to think.

Jamie lightly squeezes your waist and scoffs, “If you say Richard, I swear…”

“You know it's not Richard,” you laugh, fixing him a look as you lean closer to him, “My favorite player is obviously Sam.”

Jamie groans and presses his forehead against yours. “You are still so mean,” he whines, but you can hear the laugh in his voice.

You giggle, “You can be my second favorite.”

“Huh, well second is the best, some say.”

“Yeah, some.” You tease, pressing another kiss to his lips, “You should get to practice.”

“Yeah,” Jamie sighs, but doesn’t hesitate to kiss you long and hard one more time. “Can I come over tonight?”

“I would be disappointed if you didn’t.”

Jamie gives you one more sweet smile and kiss on the cheek before leaving you alone. Alone with thoughts of why you couldn’t possibly want to shout about your relationship from the rooftops. But for whatever reason, you weren’t ready yet. You just hoped one day soon you would be.

For some reason, Jamie cancels on you that night. He doesn’t offer much of an explanation as to why, but you trust he has a good reason. So, you tell him not to worry about it and offer up a rain check for the next night. Instead of responding yes or no, Jamie thumbs-up the text, which you aren’t thrilled about, but you try not to overthink one weird text exchange. Either way, you’d reach out to him tomorrow and see if he was still acting off.

In effort not to dwell on the strange interaction, you busy yourself with making dinner. While your meal is in the oven, you also call Keeley. Earlier that day, you’d heard the news about her personal photos getting leaked and since you were swamped at the club, you didn’t have a real chance to reach out. While it's been a minute since you’ve seen the girl, each of you busy with your jobs and respective relationships (not to mention you still hiding yours from her in particular), you could tell she appreciated hearing from you.

After cheering her up a bit with some words of comfort, and then a bit of girl talk to distract her, you settle down on the couch with a bowl of baked ziti and your laptop. First, you answer a few emails. One was from your dad of a goofy meme that he definitely could have just texted, but you respond nonetheless with a culturally relevant GIF. The other was from Kara, your old coworker from Chicago. You’d kept up with her pretty regularly since your move, exchanging texts now and again, but using email for longer life updates. You’d admitted that you’ve been seeing someone to her, but haven’t given details as to who yet, and that’s as close as you’ve gotten to telling anyone out of the circle of people who already knew.

You’d also confided in her about writing again, which you hadn’t really done with anyone else either. Telling your dads or even Ted or Michelle would put pressure on it you weren’t ready for. They’d be so excited for you, of course, but then you knew your dads would follow up with questions about whether you were going to do anything with the book you’ve been writing, and while that was the goal, you weren’t that far yet. Once it was in better shape you’d happily tell them.

And that’s what you do with the rest of your night. You bang out a few more chapters of your rom-com novel and then get to bed at a reasonable hour. You try not to dwell on the fact that it's the first night in weeks you’ve gone to bed without Jamie, but you push the thought away in order to get a good night’s rest. You’ll probably hear from Jamie in the morning.

And you do - but he just hearts your text when you wish him a good morning and say you hope to see him that night. At least it was a heart instead of a thumbs up.

Something was definitely wrong. You should just ask, but your brain keeps making up horrible reasons for his distance, starting and ending with him wanting to break up with you for some reason. You knew that couldn’t be it. You saw him less than twenty-four hours ago and everything was fine. Something else had to be bothering him, but you wanted him to tell you himself and only if he wanted to.

Again, you throw yourself into activities to distract you. First with an uncharacteristically large breakfast for one, and then with work at the club for a few hours before you meet up with your cousin, uncle, and surrogate-uncle at Crown and Anchor for a late lunch. You tried to text Jamie a couple times throughout the day, but only got minimal responses still. Ted and Beard can both tell something is off, but you force a smile and listen intently as Henry recounts their morning at the West Ham game.

You do manage to enjoy the rest of the evening with your family between bursts of anxiety when you see Jamie hasn’t sent anything. But you’re both relieved and twice as anxious when you see him standing outside your apartment as you arrive home that night. You wonder how long he’s been here.

“Jamie?” you call out softly as you reach the top of the stairs. It’s very obvious he’s not in a great place, “Are you alright?”

You’re surprised when he shakes his head and answers honestly, albeit avoiding your eye line, “No, I’m not so great, actually.”

You gulp, but try to give him a reassuring smile, “Okay. Do you want to come inside and talk about it?”

He nods and you move forward to start unlocking your front door. You two silently enter the flat, the only noise coming from the rummaging as you lock up and discard your coat and bag. A few moments later, you take a seat on the couch and look expectantly at him to join you, but he just shuffles to stand in front of you, staring at his barely worn Nikes.

“Jamie?” you speak up again and try to sound as gentle as possible, despite your increasing heart rate, “You know that you can talk to me about anything right? But you also don’t have to talk about it if you're not ready.”

He nods again, once, and you study his hands, and he clenches and unclenches them into fists a few times. You want to be patient with him, but with each passing second, you make up more and more worst case scenarios for how this was going to go.

“Did you hear what happened to Keeley?” he finally asks after a few minutes of excruciating silence, “About that video getting leaked?”

Your eyebrows raise in surprise. That’s not what you thought he was going to say.

“Yeah,” you force out, brushing past your confusion, “Yeah. Its so fucking shitty. I actually talked to her last night. She’s upset, of course, but she sounds like she’s holding up okay.” You explain. You study him for a few seconds before continuing, “Is that what you’re upset about?”

He once again silently bobs his head up and down, before he admits, “She actually made that video for me. The one that got leaked. Back when we were dating.”

Your mouth forms an “o”, starting to recognize some puzzle pieces but unsure of how they fit together. “Are you worried that you’re the reason it got leaked? Because you know it's not your fault. Whoever the asshole hacker is, who leaked everyone's shit, is to blame.”

“I know but I should have made sure everything was deleted,” Jamie sighs, his voice practically cracking as he slowly continues, “And it's more than that.”

“What is it, Jamie?” you question, “Because if you think it's that I’d be upset about the video itself, I’m not. You and Keeley dated a long time ago.”

“It's not that,” Jamie says, finally looking at you, “This happening has just reminded me of what a shit person I used to be when I was dating her and how she deserved better than that. And so do you.”

You frown, sitting up a little straighter, “Don’t say that. I know about your reputation back then, but it doesn’t matter. You’re not the same guy you were.”

“Yeah but you don’t know everything.”

“Jamie, I don’t care-”

“Please,” he pleads, “You have to let me say this. It’s been eating away at me since I met you. You have to know.”

You take a deep breath, and not knowing what else to say, you just nod encouragingly.

Jamie takes a deep breath and once again looks at the floor before he begins, “I wasn’t just a dick to Keeley. I cheated on her. I actually probably cheated on most of the girls I’ve been with. Honestly, for a few years, I can’t think of a time where I wasn’t seeing a girl or hooking up with another until a little while after Keeley and I broke up. I didn’t really know it, but I think I used my relationships or sex as another form of validation. It didn’t matter who I was seeing, if someone was interested I went for it. I just wanted to feel…good. I liked the attention. I liked being wanted. Not that that makes it okay, it definitely doesn’t. Especially with Keeley, who was probably one of the most genuine people I was ever with. And that’s why I feel even worse that the video got leaked.

“I didn’t feel that way with you, though. I still don’t. I wasn’t just sleeping with you for validation. Not that you don’t make me feel good or wanted, because you make me feel that way even when we’re just watching TV or playing a board game. But all that mattered to me was making you feel good, even when I thought all I was was a distraction for you. I knew all you wanted was sex, and I knew I was good at it, so I was more than happy to help. But even then I was so hyper aware that if you really knew the guy you were sleeping with, you’d hate me.

“Your ex is the biggest idiot in the world for cheating on you and making you feel like you weren’t good enough, and I’m glad you’ve moved on and that I could help you do that. But deep down I know that I’m just as bad as him. Maybe even worse. I have been an asshole to every girl I’ve been with, and I regret that, but it's the truth. I avoided telling you for so long because I was afraid if you really knew the kind of guy I was, you’d stop seeing me. But I wanted to tell you now, so that you could if you wanted to. Stop seeing me. Because I wouldn’t blame you.”

Jamie could barely hear the sound of his own voice as he finished his impromptu speech, with his own heartbeat ringing in his ears. As much as he hated to admit all of that, he knew he needed to. It’s been his inner monologue for months, he just finally needed to air it all out. And he felt like he owed you the full picture, so you knew what you were getting into; so you could decide if you really wanted to be with someone like him. You deserved a good man. One who was better at all of this and wouldn’t fuck it all up like he knew he could. He was still fucking up with Keeley after all of this time. You deserved better than him.

After a few beats of silence, he forces himself to look at you again, unable to fight the morbid curiosity of how you’d react. He manages to make out the tears forming in your eyes, through the tears welling his own. He didn’t realize he’d gotten so emotional during his speech, but he figures it's the guilt coupled with the fear of what you’d do.

He could tell you were biting your lip as you figured out what to say. This was it. You knew he wasn’t just a prick, but a cheater, too, and you were trying to find the right words to kick him out of your home and out of your life.

His breath hitches as you rise from your spot on the couch and take hesitant steps towards him. He almost flinches at the movement, but instinctually relaxes as your hand finds his own and intertwines your fingers together with a squeeze.

“Jamie,” you hoarsely whisper, and the sound of you saying his name makes his heart skip a beat, “Before I say anything else, I need you to know I am not going anywhere.”

Jamie lets out a loud breath of relief and your lips quirk up just a little.

“I really appreciate you telling me all of this, I know how hard that must have been,” you continue, “I am also sorry that somewhere along the way you’ve been made to feel not good enough - because I get it, I do - but you are absolutely good enough. For me and for everyone who is lucky enough to know you. I also need you to know that even at the beginning you were more than just someone I want to have sex with. You are someone I like talking to and someone who makes me laugh and has always made me feel safe, especially when I arrived in a brand new city at a time in my life when I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.

“What you did in the past was wrong; cheating on Keeley or on anyone. But what matters is that you realize it was wrong, and that you’ve learned and have grown. You are not that guy anymore. The guy I’ve gotten to know over the last few months knows right from wrong, is considerate, is kind, is attentive, and is still a bit of a prick sometimes, but he wouldn’t be himself if he wasn’t. And I really like that guy. Again, I respect you for telling me this, but I don’t care about your past, Jamie. I know who you are today and I want to be with you.”

Every word you said was true. Sure, it hit a nerve to hear Jamie has cheated before, especially with someone as amazing as Keeley, but despite those nagging voices in your head, you knew in your heart he wouldn’t do that to you.

Jamie’s lip quivers a bit at your assurance that you’re not leaving him. But still, he’s crippled by self doubt, “I’m still afraid that I’m going to fuck something up one day.”

“You probably will,” Jamie sputters, so you quickly place a comforting hand on his cheek and barrel on, “But so will I. We’re both bound to mess up from time to time because nobody’s perfect, Jamie. All that matters is that we try.”

Jamie nods. He’s unable to deal with even the minimal space between the two of you at this point and pulls you completely into his arms. “I can do that,” he whispers into your shoulder.

You melt into his embrace, “Good.”

It’s a blur, but somehow over the course of the next few minutes, you both end up back on the couch, completely wrapped up in one another. His head is resting on your chest as you lightly brush your fingers through his hair. You shush him as he attempts to make more apologies about not being truthful, as well as for blowing you off the last day or so. You’re happy to spend the night reassuring him that he was forgiven and that you were very happy with him. Immensely so.

“You know who might like to hear some of this,” you eventually comment and Jamie hums in question, “Keeley.”

You peer down at him as he plays with the string of your Richmond sweatshirt, of which you of course stole from him.

“I know. I’ve been meaning to.” He agrees quietly, “Think I just wanted to talk to you about it first.”

“That’s okay,” you smiled against his head, “Maybe next time you don’t have to stand outside my door waiting for me to let you in.” He looks up at you curiously, “Maybe I could make a copy of my key…so you can wait inside next time you want to talk. Or see me…If you want.”

You don’t know what possessed you to propose this idea all of a sudden. Maybe it was all the emotions surrounding his confession, or maybe it was how much you hated sleeping alone last night. Either way, you liked the idea of him being able to show up as he pleased. And even though you’ve officially been a couple for only a month, emotionally you’ve been together a lot longer.

A genuine grin appears on Jamie’s face for the first time that night. “That sounds nice.”

“Yeah?” a smile of your own starts forming.

“Yeah,” he props himself up to brush his lips against your cheek, “I can see about getting you a copy of mine as well, but I honestly think I like being at your place a lot more than mine.”

“I like you being here, too.” you gently pull him on top of you for a full fledged kiss.

Jamie eagerly reciprocates and feels the weight that’s been on his chest the last couple of days fully melt away. He would definitely still talk to Keeley, but he’s comforted by the fact that he not only still has you, but that you didn’t look at him any differently after knowing more about his past.

Also, despite his unsuredness over you wanting to keep your relationship a secret, he no longer cared about that either. You made it very clear tonight that you wanted him and thought he was good enough for you. He still hoped to one day proclaim his feelings for you to the world, but for now, being with you in any capacity was more than good enough for him.

A/N: once again, thank you all for reading and all the love and support! this was one a beast to figure out and write, so i hope you liked it! i’m also envisioning that my original drabble “i like you” takes place in this four weeks they are dating at the start of this chapter <3

Taglist: @atabigail @escapismqueen @boundtomyfate @sammysgirl1997 @lil-tracys @shephard17895 @alaspice @itsbarbraann @redpool @drmeghanjones @straightforwardly @alex-sulli @aiyaiy @artemismaximoff @roadtoself-love @theloud-yet-quietone @forcesofgrief @kirisimpster @geek-and-proud @grippleback-galaxy @lalla-04p @gabbycoady13 @royalestrellas @qardasngan @creationcitystreet-em @percysaidnever @emily-b @mrfitzsimmons @k-n-e @agentstarkid @legobatmans9thab @mrsprongs25 @sokkigarden @for-fuck-sake-im-alive @dollfaceyourfear @dicgohargreeves @heyitz-julia @vampirodelascajas @grxcesmind @lizziel1410 @bcon24 @looooooooomis @queen-of-dumbasses @moseyluvs @alipap3 @amachira @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @daphneblakeswife @chelseamount @k0z3me @lickitandsendit3 @miakat9 @shimmeringfrenchie @meg-ro @selmasemlan @hellfire-babez @rockchickrebel @taytaylala12 @lemonpiegurll @pri00r @brianandthemays @afraidofshrimp @curlypeter @sonyume @a-sweet-little-fangirl @katdahlali @buckybarnex @scaramou @beardsplitter @gcidrvsh @ringpopdust @marveltg365 @optimisticsandwichgladiator @spookysins @ibong-adarnaaa @piper570 @eviemae263782 it wouldn’t let me tag the last few of you, let me know if its something with your settings, otherwise i can keep trying in future updates! <3

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt x f!reader #jamie tartt x female reader #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #mine #distractions series

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denalidear · 1 year

Text

Sleepy

a/n: oops. forgot i said i was gonna do this whole thing. well here a little fic i wrote a while back and never posted.

summary: wil is so eepy.

word count: 886

warnings: none?

- - -

It had been a long day for him, you knew. Between streaming, working on new music, and how late the two of you had stayed up the night before; he was tired. So when you asked to cuddle and watch a movie, you had put two and two together to start your master plan. You strategically placed yourself underneath him, his head on your collarbone as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“Love I’m going to fall asleep if you keep on playing with my hair.” He warned, adjusting so his arms were tucked well around your torso. He yawned and leaned into you more and you smiled.

“What if I told you that was the point?” You teased, trying to contain your laugh as to not disturb the sleepy boy.

“Then I’d tell you you’d better be comfortable because I won’t be moving once I’m asleep.” He mumbled, now pulling the blanket covering you two further up his shoulders.

“Bring it on, buddy.” You said, turning your attention back to the movie while continuing your ministrations in his hair. Soon enough you felt his weight sink into you, his breath coming out in soft puffs over your neck. He had fallen asleep and your plan was a success.

-----

Wil was a sleepy guy. After the first nap he’d had cuddling with you, he requested more and more. It became a regular occurrence for him to seek you out straight after finishing a stream, only to fall asleep in your arms.

But today, he was determined to prove he didn’t need a nap. You’d dragged him all around London, going to shops and cafes. He played along happily for the first four hours, but after dinner came and went his resolve was sarting to wear thin. He happily carried your tote bag that you’d filled with the goodies you’d acrewed, but he was nearly nodding off as you sat at the station waiting for the next train home.

“Wil.” You tapped his knee, “The announcer said it’d be pulling up soon.”

“Ok.” He nodded, resisting the urge to lean into your shoulder. Soon the train pulled up and you boarded. Wil fought to stay awake as he sunk into the plush of the seat.

“Baby you can sleep on my shoulder.” You said patting his leg to comfort him.

“No, I’m not tired, I promise.” He said quietly. As miuch as you wanted to believe him, not two minuets later his head was on your shoulder and he was snoring away. You couln’t help but smile.

-----

The band said goodnight to the crowd, passing out the set list and spare picks. The main lights came up as the audience began to leave and the band got off stage. Wil came straight up to you, as was post gig tradition, for a kiss and a very sweaty hug.

“You did great, handsome!” You smiled, holding his face between your hands. As you looked into his eyes, you could see the adrenaline slowly leaving his system as his eyelids began to slouch.

“Thanks darling.” He smiled, leaning in for another kiss. You decided it was time for him to go to bed, leaving the venue in favor of the quiet tour bus. He held your hand tight as you lead him to the bunks in the back, speaking quietly about how he thought the concert had gone. You tucked him in like a little kid, teasing him about being a toddler while he laughed.

“But will you cuddle with me?” He said, grabbing your hand before you could pull away.

“Of course, baby.” You smiled, kicking off your shoes and sliding into bed. Would you regret not changing into PJ’s when you woke up? Probably. But this moment was perfect, and you wouldn’t ever pick a shower over sleeping with your boyfriend.

-----

“Chat, guess who just got home from work?” Wil smiled as he looked at the text you had just sent him, confirming you made it safely to his house. He quickly typed back a response, saying he was on stream but that you should come and visit him. He continued speaking to chat before he heard a small knock on the door.

You creeped into his office, dragging your feet after a long day of work. “Hello, love.” Your boyfriend spun around in his chair and st up to greet you. He lifted his arms to invite you onto his lap and into a hug. “How was work?”

“Good. Just tired.” You mumbled into his neck. “You can keep playing. I’ll just cuddle.” He rubbed your back and turned back around to his screen.

“Chat, my darling has had a long day, so she’s a little tired. I’ll finish this up and then we are gonna go to bed.” He smiled, reaching around your body cuddled up to his chest and began to play again.

He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as your head lulled back and your weight sunk into him. “I think she fell asleep.” He whispered to chat. He looked down at your peaceful face. “Yeah she’s totally out.” He giggled, keeping his voice low.

“That’s my cue to leave, friends. Thanks for tuning in. I’ve got to get my love into bed, poor girl. Good night, everyone.”

#x reader #fanfic #wilbur soot fanfiction #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur x y/n #wilbur x reader #wilbur soot x fem!reader #fanfiction #blurb #fic

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lilbittymonster · 15 days

Text

Day 7: Morsel

Read on AO3

When Estinien woke, it was to an empty space in the bed. Blinking wearily in the morning light he rolled over to see the vague shape of Kitali perched in the window. At his movement, her tail flicked against the wall, but it was unusually minute, and the rest of her didn’t react.

A hip popped back into place as he climbed out of bed to approach her. She was looking off into the distance over the rest of Radz-at-Han, though he was certain it was not the city at all that held her focus.

“Morning,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

The gentle sway of her body towards his was the only sign that she registered his presence.

“Kit?” he asked, and waited until she turned to face him. “You alright?”

She opened her mouth a few times, as though trying to find the words, before giving up and simply shaking her head.

“Okay.” He hesitated, unsure of how much touch was too much for her. “Do you...do you just need to rest?”

A nod.

“Okay,” he repeated. “Do you want me to stay with you?”

Kitali nodded quickly, leaning into him to wrap her arm around his. He encircled her and pulled her against his chest protectively, burying his face into her hair.

“I’m going to send word to the host that I won’t be there today, and then I’m going to get us something to eat, and then we can just stay here for the day. Will you be alright til I get back?”

A pause, and then he felt her nod against him again. He pressed another lingering kiss to her temple before reluctantly letting her go to get dressed. The offices of the Radiant Host were fairly quick to get to, and they accepted his apology without fuss. He assured them that he would be back to continue training on the morrow, and then all but flew to the Meyhane. Mehryde recognised him with a smile as he entered.

“Hello, my friend, what can I get for you?” she asked as he approached the bar.

“One shakshouka, one platter of buuz, and two lassi. Carry out.”

“Of course, feel free to take a seat while you wait.”

He did so, a small glass of chilled water slid towards him soon after. He sipped at it slowly, trying not to get impatient as he waited for the food to be cooked, but not wanting to be away from Kitali longer than necessary. It was still early, though, and he was only one of a few patrons in the bar, so it did not take nearly so long as a dinner would have. The bag and drinks were brought out to him, and he cradled them closely as he leaped back up to their room.

Kitali had not moved from the window where he left her. After setting the food down on the table he crossed the room to come to stand beside her, and waited patiently until she acknowledged his presence once more. She looked up at him blearily, as though waking from a deep slumber, before her expression relaxed into one of relief.

“I got you those buuz from Mehryde’s,” he said softly. “And fresh lassi.”

Thank you, she mouthed with a small smile.

Estinien stepped back a pace from the window, holding out a hand for her to climb down. Her movements were sluggish as she hopped down, swaying on her feet for a moment before following him to the table. He pulled the two covered plates from the box and set them out, digging into his own with chunks of warm bread, and tried not to watch too closely as Kitali picked at a single bun. Like she were sleepwalking, small bits were torn off and eaten morsel by morsel, and he had finished his breakfast entirely in the time it took her to finish the one.

She realised at the same time he did, and silently wrapped the remaining buns back up in their paper to be set aside. As Estinien scraped the small bowl clean with the last bit of bread, Kitali went over to the desk. He heard the sound of a page being torn, followed by the soft scratching of a quill across paper. Almost apologetically, she handed him a piece of paper.

I’m sorry. This should pass in a day or so.

“Why are you apologising?” Estinien asked.

She tried again to find words, but all she managed was an exasperated huff.

“If you need some quiet for a day, ‘tis no trouble to me,” he reassured her. “I am no stranger to silence.”

Kitali let out a long sigh and nodded. She tugged gently at his hand back towards the bed, and he gave it a squeeze before releasing it. Estinien closed the wooden shutters against the morning sun, plunging their room into near total darkness once more, before stripping off the barely worn clothes and sliding back under the covers. He held an arm out for Kitali to slide under and she curled herself small against his side as he pulled the cool weight of their blanket around her. It took some time, but eventually her breathing evened and shallowed as she fell back into a tentative sleep, and he allowed himself to follow.

#ffxivwrite2024 #ffxivwrite 2024 #my writing #endwalker spoilers #wolstinien #bastards in arms #kitali moonblade #estinien #estinien varlineau #we got talking about disabilities in the discord earlier today and i don't feel like i mention enough that kitali is technically disabled #i just feel weird about touting her as ~disabled rep~ bc it's invisible and its not something that can be easily shown like in art #and this just falls into the visible vs invisible disability divide #anyways we are ignoring the posting time on this #if there's egregious errors or weird sentences i will fix it maybe later

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loonylupinblack3 · 7 months

Text

Regulus stared at his brother from afar, eyes trained on his every move, the gut wrenching want filling him as he watched him. He watched him make a cup of tea, two sugars and a drop of milk, like he’d had since he was a kid. His tired eyes as he leaned on the counter, taking a long sip of the drink, staring at something out of Regulus’s view.

He stood on the other side of the street, looking into his brother’s window. He shouldn’t have been able to see him, not with the wards Regulus could feel surrounding the flat, yet he could. Meaning he was locked into the wards.

Something inside Regulus seemed to crack, a trickle of regret pouring through. His throat bobbed, fingers flexing, but he didn’t go in. He wanted to. Wanted to see his brother one last time, to find out whether there really was nothing left between them, or if there was a chance, a slight possibility, that maybe, maybe, it wasn’t all lost.

The wards themselves should have been the sign there was a chance. Why would Sirius let Regulus through unless some small, hidden part of him too hoped Regulus would come, would find solace in his brother's arms and beg for his forgiveness.

Some part of Regulus wanted to. To just go up there and beg for Sirius, to apologise and escape into a world where he and Sirius were still brothers, hiding under blankets, whispering secrets to one another. A bigger part of Regulus knew he could never do that, not until he fixed things.

And maybe, when he did, if he survived, he could come back here and walk up those steps. Knock on that door and face Sirius knowing he did what he could, attempted to right his wrongs, did something that could have made his brother proud.

He turned away, ignoring the longing inside him, like a string tugging him towards Sirius. He ignored the way it seemed to fill him up, crawling into every crack and crevice inside him, suffocating him with the raw want he had for Sirius. He knew Sirius had others, friends that he would die for, that he probably felt this for, but for Regulus there had only ever been Sirius. His brother, the one person who had seemed to love him for him. His solace.

Regulus hoped he’d be able to come back here. He hoped it wasn’t too late, hoped Sirius was still waiting for him, just for a little longer, just until Regulus could finish the thing he started, and then they could see each other. Then they could try to fix whatever mess they’d become. Then they’d have a chance to be brothers again.

Regulus just needed to do one thing first. One thing and he’d come back here. He promised himself he would. So, with a heavy heart, he glanced behind him at the window one more time, memorising the picture of his brother, the slope of his nose, bags under his eyes, crinkle on his forehead, whispers of the wrinkles to come.

He stared at his brother, the only person in the world Regulus cared for with his whole heart, and apparated to his home, his faithful house elf waiting at the ready. And suddenly, with his brother no longer in his sight, Regulus felt scared. He was just a little kid, wanting his older brother. But he couldn’t have him. Not yet anyway. But soon. Just after this. He just had to get through this, and he’d see his brother again. He just needed to do this one thing…

Regulus held his house elf’s hand, apparating to the cave he would never exit, thinking about a future that would never come to pass.

And miles away, in a flat in London, Sirius Black leant against a counter, hands curled around his mug as he stared at a framed picture on the table. One of a young boy, with black hair and grey eyes, so like Sirius’s own but not belonging to him. A crooked smile and a young chubby face. His brother.

Regulus Black.

#marauders era #marauders #fanfiction #fanfic #marauders fanfiction #regulus black #sirius black #black brothers #black brothers angst #angst #sibling angst #short story #marauders angst #regulus and sirius #canon compliant #marauders canon

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trans-duckling · 3 months

Text

KakaGai Week 2024: Fire Country's Wilderness

Words: 1,947 Pairing: KakaGai Promt: Collectables

Excitement ran through Kakashi’s veins as he jumped from one building to another on his way to the training ground where he knew Gai would be with his students. He just hoped he was almost finished, because what he had discovered had priority over any training. Or that was his opinion, anyways.

As expected, his friend was torturing the young genin with personalized exercises that would no doubt help them to become chunnin soon. The Hatake didn’t do a lot of that anymore, since Naruto had left with Jiraiya, Sakura was under Tsunade’s supervision and Sasuke… Well, he tried not to think too much about how he had failed him in order to avoid his brain messing up with him even more.

“Yo!” he exclaimed as he reached the team.

“My rival!” Gai greeted with way too much energy. “Have you come to join us in a youthful training?!”

Judging by Tenten’s and Neji’s expressions, the activity was being more a tortuous than youthful. Then again, they had to deal with a high-energy Gai for most of their day, so…

“Not really” he deadpanned. “Could I talk to you for a moment?”

Kakashi put emphasis on sounding serious but not urgent, though the matter was rather pressing, if they asked him. His friend, obviously noticing that, nodded while walking behind him until they were at a safe distance from the genin. Tenten and Neji took that as a signal for taking a break, while Lee started to do push-ups. He really was like a mini clone of Gai.

“So, what is it, rival? A mission?”

“Ah… No” the Hatake said. “I saw a new international delivery entering the village an hour ago.”

“Okay…” the other man nodded, as if waiting for something more. “And…?”

“It was an international delivery, Gai” he pressed.

A few seconds passed before his friend opened his eyes wide.

“Oh! OH! I see!” the taijutsu master exclaimed, suddenly excited and barely containing his energy. A moment after, his expression changed into a sour one as he looked back at the genin and then to Kakashi as if he didn’t know what to do. “I, uh… I know I promised you we would do this together, but my students…”

“Mah, Gai… You promised to open and build them together, but never said anything about shopping, so…”

“You’re right! GREAT!” he beamed, taking out his wallet the next second and offering him a bunch of money. “Here, there should be enough for two or three. We’re almost finished with the training, so maybe we can meet at your house in half an hour?”

The Hatake quickly took the money and put it away before the genin could start wondering what was going on.

“Sounds about right” he nodded. “See you in a bit.”

Not wanting to wait one more second, he shunshined back to almost Konoha’s center. There, at the corner of a building in a secondary street, an international shop brought items from all over the world once a month or so. It was a tricky business, since the provider had to have permits from all the countries to move freely and then be checked in every entrance to ensure they weren’t bringing anything dangerous to the villages. However, the price at which the products were sold definitely compensated those problems to the owners.

A few months ago, when Naruto left the village to study under Jiraiya’s supervision and Sakura told him about wanting to become a medic-nin, Kakashi had gone back to a normal jounin duty. That meant a higher number of dangerous missions and, since he was feeling rather guilty and useless about the whole situation, he also accepted those that nobody else wanted for morale or just because they bordered the suicidal. For several weeks his routine seemed to go back almost to what it was when he was in ANBU, the world grey around him. Of course, as soon as Tsunade noticed —she either paid more attention or cared more than other Kages—, he forced him to step down, but his guilt and sense of being useless remained there.

Until Gai intervened, that was.

Even after so many years, he still didn’t understand how it was possible for that man to find him at his lowest and manage to put him back together. One day, when he’d find the strength to do it, he would tell him how much that meant for the Hatake.

In that occasion, Gai had opted to make him focus on other things. Stupid things.

‘Maybe we should find a hobby for when we’re off-duty’ the taijutsu master had said. ‘We have too much money saved, anyways.’

It was a stupid suggestion. Shinobi didn’t need hobbies. And yet, the other man had dragged him through all Konoha’s streets until they found the international shop. There were a lot of different products they had never tried, so Gai made a challenge to finally do it. One of the things they bought were a couple of rectangular white boxes that were supposed to contain a puzzle or something like that. Obviously, the intention of buying two was too see who could put it together faster.

Once at Gai’s home, the package revealed to have not puzzles, but some kind of figures that could be put together to make a three-dimensional landscape of a well-known part of the world. And it was not one puzzle, but a series of collectables ones that could appear randomly in the box. The whole building process turned out to be way more difficult than what they had initially predicted, but the result was rather accurate and pleasant to the sight. And that without counting that each landscape was constructed to act as some kind of day-to-day object, like a pot, a door’s holder or fishbowl.

The thing was that, after hours of building those things, Gai won the challenge and Kakashi was left with the desire to get some of the other constructions that appeared in the pamphlet. One in particular became his favorite with just a simple look, but he would never admit it. As stablished before, to have a hobby like that was stupid for a shinobi. And those things were expensive to buy, even with their jounin pays.

The next day, Gai appeared at his house with two more and they spent all the afternoon at it again.

Little was needed after that, the activity becoming something satisfactory for both of them. To Gai, it was another opportunity for a challenge. To Kakashi, it was a relaxing activity. And, of course, it was also a nice way to spend time together without having to factor feelings in the equation. That was as completely different story.

One thing they didn’t consider after buying the six available constructions at the shop, was that once they were all finished they had to wait until the next delivery to get more, which could take from one to three months.

Thus, why Kakashi had run to find Gai the moment he had seen the international delivery arriving to Konoha. Now, he waited in his little apartment with four white boxes mocking him on the desk. They were challenging him to be opened and reveal if they had gotten anything new. Up until then, they had bought eight boxes —plus those four— and gotten five different landscapes and one duplicate twice. They both had one of the repeated, while the other four had been distributed by tossing a coin and the duplicates had been given to some friends. And they still had twelve more to collect each of them. The Hatake had opted to not do the math to calculate how much money he would need to make the whole collection.

What was most annoying —especially being a shinobi—, was that it was impossible for them to know what was inside of the box without opening it, which of course you could only do once bought. There was no serial number to check and the weights seemed to be identical.

“I’m here!” a loud voice exclaimed while banging at his door. “Open up, rival!”

Sighing after having to wait for so long, the Hatake left the chair to let his friend come inside.

“Four again?” Gai huffed, looking at the packages on the desk. “I really thought they would consider my suggestion of bringing more next time!”

“I guess we’re the only ones buying them for now” Kakashi shrugged. “So bringing more would probably take up space for other best-selling items, even if we do leave a fortune in this... Anyways, are you ready?”

“Always, rival!” his friend beamed. “You’ll see, I’m sure this time we won’t get any duplicate!”

They got two duplicates. Yup, their financial savings were going to disappear thanks to those collectables, Kakashi was sure of that now.

At least they got two news, too. And not some random ones, no, they got it. The one he had been waiting for since the first time. Called ‘Fire Country’s wilderness’, it was a small fountain and lamp that worked connected to the electricity by a plug. It had a conical form, with the most famous animal species of the territory, all replicated with absolute precision and a landscape so beautiful that it brought peace to the Hatake just by looking at it. That, together with the soft running of the water and the dim light, made of it an object that he would appreciate for the rest of his life. If he got it, that was.

“Well, then” he coughed, trying to look nonchalant. “Should we toss the coin to see who takes which?”

“We could, but I don’t think it will be necessary this time.”

That look again. The damn look indicating that Gai was able to read him like an open book even when the only visible part of his face was an eye. He hated and loved it at the same time.

“Are you sure? It would only be fair.”

“Of course I’m sure, rival!” the other man assured, patting him on the back. “You take the fountain, and I’ll take the Wind Country oasis, see? That way we’re all happy.”

Trying to hide how delighted he actually was about it, Kakashi took the object in his hands and found the perfect spot for it in the corner of the desk next to the bookshelf. There, it would be protected from falling and a plug was accessible to connect it so it could act as a lamp and a fountain when turned on. He did so almost immediately, satisfied with the calm sound of the thin creek running down.

“Would you like to stay for lunch?” he asked before thinking about it, his mind still focused on the warm feeling in his belly.

“Are you sure, rival? I wouldn’t want to impose…”

He wasn’t.

“I wouldn’t ask otherwise, Gai.”

“Well, in that case… Of course!”

They would slip. Again. Either if it was only making out or more, he knew it would happen. Some time ago, he had tried to promise himself to stop that kind of relationship with Gai until he could offer him what he really wanted: a partner. They had even —more or less— talked about it in the past and agreed it was for the best to not keep getting involved like that.

Evidently, the decision was not working for them. Not as long as Gai’s hands kept finding their place on his hips while he cooked in the kitchen. But it was ok, he tried to convince himself. That would be the last time. For sure. No more slips.

It was not the last time.

#kakagai #kakagai week 2024 #kakagaiweek2024 #hatake kakashi #maito gai #collectables #fanfic #ao3 #let them play #cute hobby #look at them being silly and spending money

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ejzah · 6 months

Text

A/N: This took me entirely too long to finish.

***

Collateral Damage, Part 7

Every breath Kensi took sounded like a freight train barreling through as she tried to stay as quiet and still as possible. It must have taken just a few seconds for the truck to pass by where she hid, yet it seemed like an eternity. Only when it was completely out of sight did she cautiously crawl out of the weeds.

Another wave of dizziness rocked her, and she grabbed onto a spindly tree until is passed. She needed to find some kind of shelter soon, preferably with a phone, because she was fading quickly. The desire to sit back down and rest for a few more minutes was overwhelming.

She had the babies and Deeks and Rosa to think about. They needed her to keep going. Pushing past her exhaustion, Kensi imagined Deeks’ smile, then two tiny faces with blonde curls to keep her feet moving as she climbed back onto the gravel road.

Somehow trekking through woods in adverse conditions, with injuries had been a lot easier a few years ago.

“Don’t even start,” she said to the imaginary Deeks in her head.

She blamed her dizziness and mounting headache for her lack of awareness. She never heard someone approaching from behind.

“Move another step and I’ll shoot your kneecap out,” a low voice growled from somewhere behind her. She recognized that voice from earlier at the house. Stilling, she quickly slid the knife in her hand into the cuff of her sleeve and held her arms out to the side.

Stopping within touching distance, he ran his hands down her sides and ankles, the muzzle of a gun dragging along her clothes.

“I knew I saw something out here when drove by,” he said with a smug voice that made Kensi want to break his nose. “Looks like you’re not so smart after all, Special Agent.”

Kensi nearly snapped then. She was tired, she hurt, and he was mocking her.

“Before you do anything you’ll regret, you should know that I’m pregnant,” Kensi told him, working to control her anger. It had worked with the last guy, though he was obviously younger and less experienced.

“Yeah, and I’m a Nigerian Prince. Turn around slowly and if you try anything—”

“You’ll shoot my knee out. Yeah, I heard you the first time,” Kensi interrupted. She should be terrified, or at the very least worried, but instead she felt a kind of fury induced focus come over her.

She turned, taking in the man’s dark blonde hair, about six feet tall, and glasses concealing his upper face. He grabbed her arm, pushing her in front of him as he began leading them back the way she’d come.

They went maybe a few hundred yards before the truck came into sight, and she knew she needed to act now or lose her chance. On the next step, stumbled forward a step, letting the knife slide backinto her hand, and as he reached to grab her, she spun, aiming for his ribs. She knew she made contact when he reared back with a roar of pain.

Kensi jerked the knife back out, adopting a fighting stance as he pressed his hand to his side, coming away with blood.

“You’re going to pay for that,” he promised.

***

Deeks had two choices: take one of the vehicles and backtrack along the gravel road, or head into the woods on foot. He didn’t know how severe any of Kensi’s injuries were, but he couldn’t see her heading into the open where she’d be more vulnerable.

Working mostly on instinct, he made a snap decision, and headed for the woods. A few feet in, he found a clearly defined boot print in a patch of mud. Deeks bent to examine it. He instantly recognized the familiar pattern of treads and the shape of the outline.

“Thank god you wore boots today, Kensi,” he murmured, rising. There was another less obvious print a few more yards, and he followed it along with the signs of trampled foliage.

The path deviated a little here and there, which concerned Deeks slightly. Based on the depth of the boot prints, she hadn’t been running, meaning she hadn’t been chased. Or at least he hoped.

A few times he had to guess that Kensi continued straight when the signs dropped off for more than a few yards. Eventually though, the trees began to think, and he knew he’d was reaching the other side of the woods. He knew Kensi wouldn’t have stopped unless she was seriously hurt, but he still felt his stomach sink in disappointment when he stepped out onto a gravel road and found it completely empty.

He started jogging along the road, hoping it wasn’t taking him farther from Kensi. He’d made it about half a mile when he heard a distant, yet piercing cry coming from the same direction. He broke into a full out run, shoes skidding on the gravel in his haste. A couple more shouts filled the air as he got closer, and then he drew even with a dust-covered truck, and two people on the ground.

Kensi was sprawled on the ground, fighting a man who just have been Ricky Dorton. She landed a punch squarely in his face, and she managed to crawl a few feet away before he grabbed her again, forcing her down with a rough movement, and pinning her down with his body.

Rage and fear filling him, Deeks ran the last few feet and jerked the man off Kensi, throwing him off balance. Not giving him time to react, he slammed his fist into the guy’s head repeatedly until he collapsed to the ground with a pained exhalation, his eyes slipping shut. Deeks unceremoniously cuffed him and tossed his weapon out of reach, then rushed to Kensi’s side.

“Kensi,” he breathed out, his voice trembling. She hadn’t moved. He touched her shoulder, and she groaned, rolling onto her back, blinking slowly.

“Deeks.” She sat up far more quickly, and threw herself against him, arms tightening around his shoulders. Fine shudders ran through her entire body. He could tell she’d fought hard from the dust and dirt covering clothes and the scrapes covering what’s kind was visible.

“Oh my god, baby. Are you ok? Your head.” He brushed her hair back from the temple not tucked into his body, cradling her skull with the other hand as he checked for injuries. Blood crusted along her hairline over a nasty bruise.

“I think I have a concussion, but I’m ok,” she said into his neck. “We’re ok.”

“Oh my god,” he repeated. “You scared me, baby.”

“Me too. But it’s gonna be ok. You found us.” Her fingers bit into his sleeves, clutching at him, and he held her just as tightly. Relief filled him even as he thought that he’d almost been too late.

***

A/N: Yay, everyone’s ok!

#ncis la fanfiction #kensi blye #marty deeks #densi #Kensi whump #worried and protective Deeks #collateral damage #part 7 #post series au #ejzah fanfiction

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answrs · 6 months

Note

( an attempt at fluff(?) - i hope things get better or at least easier for you soon. virtual hugs, remember that you've got a lot of people in your corner <3 )

Ingo writes a book when he's in Hisui.

Okay, wait. It's not really a book, and he didn't really write it, he would object. It's more of a very very long pamphlet, and he got a lot of help from Zisu and the Survey Corps. It was written for them, after all: it's a primer on how to befriend, train, and raise Pokémon, for the Security Corps and the rest of the Galaxy Team and really anyone else who wants to learn, because he doesn't have time to teach everyone directly but he so badly wants as many people as possible to have the chance to learn.

So it takes a while to put together—not just all of the information, but presenting it well, with graphs and diagrams so that even people who can't read, or can't read the language it's presented in (which is a fair amount of Jubilife tbh) can still get something out of it. Rei and Akari help him make some copies, even, so more than one person can look at them at once.

And then, when he's just about finished—so before he has the chance to see how it's received—he goes home.

To Unova. And he's happy! His memory is still pretty fuzzy, but he knows for certain that this is where he wants to—where he should be, even. It just feels right. But that doesn't mean it isn't also bittersweet, leaving his home of so many years in Hisui behind.

But when he gets back home—to the one he couldn't remember but missed anyway—he finds a book waiting for him on a table.

It's pretty worn-out, like the owner has read through it quite a few times, and he sort of recognizes it, however vaguely. It's a book about Pokémon training and strategy, so old it's nearly out-of-date by this point (if the topic weren't so universally consistent, anyway) but it's still interesting to read, and the foundation is solid, so it's one of the first books he—they picked up. When they were just starting out as Trainers.

And the foreword, written by a modern-day scholar, confirms what he remembers: this is a very old book, that's survived in modern times mostly by virtue of the fact that it was so widely read and copied and (later) translated and added to. There are definitely better references today even for beginners, and most of its value is historical, records of old training methods and "move styles" and an insight into how people of the past viewed Pokémon and... wait a minute.

This is his book. As in, it's the one he wrote.

It doesn't take long, flipping through it, to confirm. Oh sure, some details have been lost in translation or edited out, and there's newer commentary in a few places, but the structure is so familiar that there's no other explanation. He really hadn't expected it to be anything other than a reference for a few people in Jubilife, maybe something a Ginkgo Guild member took with them once if he was lucky—but now, so, so many years later, it's been passed on and reprinted and rewritten and translated into so many languages—because he was right. People and Pokémon were meant to work together, and that one wish of his resonated with enough people that now it's almost impossible to imagine the world working any other way. And this little book (not even really a book, at first) made it all the way around the world and back to him, without him even realizing.

But it's weird—the note at the front also mentions an afterword, and he doesn't remember writing one of those. And it does say that it does seem to be from a different source than the author of the rest of the book (clearly passionate, but elusive in the text itself, a fact which is apparently deeply frustrating to historians, whoops-) but also doesn't talk about it as if it's a later addition from another copier, either. It might have been written by many different people, it says, and there's even been some conflict over whether it should be included in reprints at all, but most people have apparently come to the conclusion that it should be treated as another part of the original book and kept in.

So he flips to the back, to see... and realizes almost immediately what it is.

Just in case you need telling again, because I’m sure you will—you take care of yourself out there. Then we can all rest easy. Our ‘dex is missing a valuable contributor—and ourselves, a good friend—but I’m certain that your destination, as it were, has been dearly missing you for long enough already! And so long as this testament to our shared work lives on, we are never truly gone from each other. I told you I’d keep an eye out for you, whenever I leave, and I’m still doing that. But just in case we don’t wind up with the same home after all, and this does get to you, I wanted to say thanks again. For guiding me, and listening, and helping even when you didn’t need to. It helped a lot. We figured out how to do that thunder barrier thing you were talking about the day after you left, and I’m really mad that you didn’t see it. So you’d better at least be reading this! Oh yeah, and thanks for all the advice. But mostly, I’m really glad that stupid barrier trick didn’t end up in this copy, because if I can’t show you I should at least get to brag to everyone else, and I can’t do that if everyone knows about it. The highlands are doing just fine. Just in case you thought we needed you! My own capable hands are more than enough!

They're... goodbyes. Not just from the other people who worked on the book, but from... everyone. Who, like him, had no way of knowing where this book would go once it left Jubilife—but took the chance anyway, sending these notes on their way to be read and reread a thousand times by a thousand hands... to find him again. As a physical goodbye—not as ephemeral as words or memories, but something able to persist.

But then, if they'd gotten even his fellow highlands warden to leave his own note, what was this last one that was so much longer than the rest...?

Any meeting in this vast world is something to be grateful for, but I am more grateful for one than most. The fullness of our space and time has more potential than I ever dreamed, and I do not know if my eyes would have opened were you not there for those first steps. Dear warden, friend, and guide, on behalf of all of us—I hope you were able to call us your home, at least for a while. And the almighty knows we have asked more than our fair share already, but if we may make one last selfish request of you—

…ah.

—please, for all of us, be happy.

AASDFHJKLCMIASCNNGHHHH SWIFT ;O; IM BLUBBERING IT'S SO GOOD AND SWEET AND GAAH MY HEART. LEAVING THE MESSAGES DESPITE NOT KNOWING WHO IT'S FOR, EVEN WHEN IT WAS FOR, BUT THEIR WORDS SURVIVING THROUGH THE AGES PASSED DOWN FROM TRAINER TO TRAINER AND SPREAD ACROSS THE WORLD IN SO MANY LANGUAGES. AND IT'S NOT A MESSAGE OF MOURNING BUT A MESSAGE OF H O P E, AND I JUST.

MY HEART

#fic #sbms #i cannot overstate how much i adore this and may have gotten more than a lil emotional about it when i read it in my inbox the first tim ;o #(and second and third times too shush)

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brighter-by-the-daly · 1 year

Text

Millie Bright x Reader

Part One: Triggered

Posted 05/04/23 : Edited 27/06/23

AN - I wrote this after a dream I had last night sparked the initial concept. I woke up midway through and didn’t want the story to end as Millie being mean so had to finish it. Based on my own struggles with ADHD and Autism and judging by this dream I’m a bit anxious about the game next week!

A text came through to your phone “mate, Millie is such a bitch she keeps giving me evils and barely even talking to anyone, it’s so awkward!” with a photo taken on the sly. “Omfg Millie’s there?! Get her to sign something for me pleeeease!” you replied. “Fat chance of that! She’s well stuck up!” “I don’t care, I love her!!!” was the last text you sent to your friend. He had won a chance to be at an open training session for Chelsea, he’d asked you to go with him but you had tickets for the England game tonight. Millie was injured so you didn’t expect her to be at either event but here you were with a photo in your hand showing she was at Chelsea rather than supporting her national team vs Brazil tonight.

You had met up with your friends earlier in the day who live around the corner to the stadium, his mum had made dinner and passed you a plate. It was a lovely sunny day and Mack’s mum was the type of person to have the front door open at all hours of the day. You perched on the door step watching the fans trickle towards the stadium, munching happily away at the bbq chicken when you heard the garden gate click open and shut. Looking up to see the familiar blonde figure approaching the house. Gobsmacked at who it was and why she was there you moved your body to the side so she could enter the house. “Millie! I didn’t think you were coming, I just gave your plate to (y/n)!” your friend’s mum called from the kitchen. Feeling a shift in her positioning behind you, you looked up to see the defender towering over you “I’m assuming you’re (y/n)?” she snapped. Yes, that was me. The bitch eating Millie Bright’s chicken, of course that could only happen to me. “Do you want some? I’m not gonna eat all of this anyway” your words quickly exiting your mouth in panic and becoming more frantic when she nodded in a ‘well duh’ sort of way as she opened her mouth. Screwing up your face in confusion “y-you want me to uh“ stabbing your fork into a piece of crispy chicken as Millie rolled her eyes and nodded again. Lifting your fork to towards her mouth you were obviously shaking and accidentally smeared bbq sauce on her cheek. You felt the mood lift a little when she chuckled wiping her mouth as you passed her the plate to avoid anymore mishaps. Your friend went inside to wash up leaving a space next to you on the door step where Millie plopped herself down, her knee grazing yours. “How’s the injury?” you asked trying to make small talk “I’m not allowed to say” she replied bluntly still shovelling food into her mouth like she hadn’t eaten in days.

“Guys we should probably leave soon” you called through to your friends in the lounge. “Why? Kick off isn’t for another hour yet” Millie scoffed at you “because I get anxious” you responded honestly “why? It’s just football” she sneered like you’re an alien species. “I just like to know I’m on time” your friends knew your AuDHD traits come out the most when there is a set timed thing to do. Like football. You liked to be there early so you could find your seats without an overwhelming amount of people staring at you arriving. You found comfort in knowing you wouldn’t have to tell people they were in your seats and you could relax knowing you were in the right place. You’d never been to this stadium before and new places triggers your anxiety. “You don’t need to worry about that” she muttered between mouthfuls “gee thanks, I’m cured” sarcastically rolling your eyes at her ignorance as you rose from the step and entered the house to move away from her. Maybe your friend was right, she is a bitch!

An hour passed before you actually left, you were now a nervous mess and on the brink of a meltdown. Millie lead you and your friends down an ally to a gate you hadn’t seen when looking up the maps online. You fell behind your friends as you rushed to find the tickets on your phone and missed the email containing them. “I can only find two guys!” you called out to the group in panic “slow down, I can’t find the other two!” you pleaded. “You don’t need tickets you’re with me, put your phone away” Millie sniped at you. This game you were so looking forward to now made you want to leave and go home, everything was wrong and nothing like you had planned for weeks. Millie handed over her pass to a steward as you were frantically trying to find the other tickets, your friend noticed, pushed your lock button and gestured for you to put your phone away with no explanation. You stood there wondering what the hell was happening until you heard the steward “5 yeah? All good.” With that, the others started to shuffle you inside and to seats that weren’t the ones you had carefully chosen when booking them. To be fair, they were really good seats just above the dug outs and in front of a box but you couldn’t help feeling on edge knowing these weren’t actually your seats, worrying someone’s going to come at any moment and tell you to move. Millie sat down next to you with her huge England puffer jacket encroaching on your personal space, hearing every squeak of the fabric against the chair and the rustling against your body, you had never felt more uncomfortable.

Noticing you were stimming - your foot tapping and fiddling with your thumb ring Millie heavily placed her hand onto your thigh making your leg stop shaking instantly. “What’s wrong?” she asked moving her hood so you could see her face “nothing” you shook your head violently trying to stop her from asking anymore questions. You were trying so hard not to have a meltdown and anymore questions might push the tears you were trying desperately to hide out of your eyes and you wanted nothing more than for her not to witness this. You’d looked up to the defender since you were young and thought meeting her would be like a dream but today had been nothing short of a nightmare. She’d hit all your triggers without realising you had any and you were really struggling to hide your contempt. “Tell me” she said forcefully. Staring out to the pitch you thought deeply about what to say but it all came blurting out like a car crash of words leaving your mouth. “I have ADHD and Autism, I’ve never been to this stadium before so had looked up all the maps and knew what time to get here so I could find my seats, I always feel like someone will be sat in them and I’d have to have an awkward conversation to get them to move, The Lionesses are my special interest and I was so looking forward to this day but you changed all the plans and it’s been a lot to deal with. I like being on an aisle so I don’t feel trapped, I wanted to watch the warm ups, I hate being late and your jacket is so noisy it’s making me want to throw something at you.” Your words left your mouth in one extremely long sentence barely making time to breath, your monotone voice wasn’t raised just sad that nothing had turned out right. Millie stared blankly at you like everything you had just said flew straight over her head. You couldn’t help that you felt uncomfortable, your friends knew what triggers you and should have been more understanding to all these plans changing. One thing you could have dealt with but this.. this was a lot.

“Do you drink tea?” the blonde asked you after a long awkward silence, nodding gently she asked how you have it then rose from her seat and entered the box, re-emerging with a cup in her hand. “Sit in this one” she gestured to the seat she was in before which was on an aisle and passed the cup to you; instantly feeling a little relief as the warmth spread through your hands. Hearing the zipper of her coat undo she took it off and started to put it around your shoulders. “What are you doing?” you asking while trying to shrug it off, “trust me, it’s a like a big safety bubble, put it on” she nodded smiling as encouragement. Feeling the warmth around your body and the weight of the coat acting like your blanket at home you sunk into your seat, your heart rate returning to normal and your eyes were no longer acting like dams for your tears. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise” her words sounding sincere “why would you? I have to work very hard to appear like everyone else, to seem normal. Nobody would know unless I told them or I suddenly snapped. They’d just see me flip out over one tiny thing without recognising all of the other things that had lead me to snap” you said looking down at your cup. “I get it, trust me” she smiled. With that the teams walked out onto the pitch - immediately making you happy again. Millie took hold of your hand and held it between hers on her lap. It’s like she had heard you and understood exactly what you needed - to feel safe.

Part Two

#millie bright #millie bright x reader #woso masterlist #woso x reader

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