#another thing im going to have to pay attention to on rewatch...

[unnonexistence]

feeling mildly insane over stacker pentecost because is he ever not the fixed point? do we ever get a moment where he isn't being something for someone?

[gyllenhaalstuff]

I will actually do ANYTHING for another adam bell orr maybe anthony claire…. fanfic since when u wrote him it was SOOO GOOD and there is not enough fanfics for him!!!!! I just rewatched Enemy and hes saur fine and im just craving to write another fanfic of him / them and especially by you

Adam Bell is one of his hottest characters idc. Also… I was ovulating when writing this. This is filthy.

After class

- Adam Bell x student!reader

Summary: Your professor asks you to stay behind after class. Wink.

Warnings: Dom!Adam, age gap!!, size kink if you squint, “sir”, he’s basically using you but you’re too in love to see it, mutual masturbation, fingering, piv sex, unprotected sex.

Word count: 1909

Notes: I am going insane (ovulating) sorry about the pervy pet names xx.

· · ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── · ·

Everyone struggles in university. The stakes are high, and the classes are too long to pay attention. But in Bell’s class, you couldn’t pay any attention at all. Not to the subject, at least. Your eyes would fall to your professor's hands, the bulge in his slacks, and his tongue when he licked his lips in between sentences.

With time he managed to make himself at home in your thoughts. Every waking hour you would fantasize about being bent over his desk or kneeling under it. You couldn’t catch a break, even in your sleep. This took a toll on you, as well as your studies.

“That’s all for today. Make sure to get to page 250 in the Iliad,” Adam reminded as the students packed up their things. “Oh, and y/n, could I have a word with you?” You froze in your tracks. You hadn’t done anything wrong or failed an exam; sure, your mind was elsewhere, but that was your own problem, not his. You trotted up to his desk, laptop under your arm. “Is everything alright?”

He gave you a reassuring nod, “No need to worry, sweetheart. Sit down for a second, will you?” You grabbed the closest chair and placed it in front of his desk. You twirled nervously with the hem of your skirt. You had never been this close to him, never been able to see the gray in his beard or pick up on his cologne. It was intoxicating.

“You seem a bit tired. Your studies are fine; I just want to make sure everything is alright,” Adam explained. Maybe it was just your imagination running wild, but he seemed nervous too. “Oh yeah, I haven’t been sleeping very well, that’s all,” you stuttered, feeling your cheeks heat as he studied you. He rubbed his tired eyes, making you notice the veins on his hand. “I understand. Insomnia?” Either he was actually oblivious to your attraction (spoiler alert, he wasn’t) or he tried his best to ignore it. “Weird dreams,” you corrected. You were stuck between wanting to jump his bones and running as far away as possible. Adam suddenly looked intrigued. “What kind of dreams?” He pushed, curious about his pretty young student. You stayed quiet at his question, unable to be truthful and unable to lie.

He chuckled at your nervous expression, “Now I see.” You blushed and squirmed in his chair. Could there be anything more embarrassing? “About who?” He asked and fiddled with his pen. He knew he crossed a line; he shouldn’t ask, shouldn’t even want to know. But he did. And when he was met with silence again, he smiled to himself. “It’s me,” he sighed, a statement and not a question. You nodded. This was torture.

“Poor thing. You know that’s not possible.” You felt like crying. Not only was your secret out, but you were being rejected. You looked down at your clammy hands; you wanted out. Especially since your body went against your judgment, making you clench your thighs and your underwear damp. “I’m sorry, sir,” you mumbled.

Adam thanked God for being behind the desk; you seeing his erection would make his whole game collapse. “Look, if I were in charge, you wouldn’t have to suffer like this. But it’s not up to me now, is it?” His eyes were kind and nonjudgmental. You sniffled and forced a smile, “Yeah, I get it.” He leaned back in his chair, looking at the ceiling as if solving a problem. “However, if it never gets out…” He hummed, keeping you on your toes. Your heart lightened a bit, daring to get hopeful.

“Come here, honey,” Adam then said and scooted out his chair, making room for you to come stand in front of him. You put the laptop on his desk and walked towards him. He looked you up and down, slouched in his chair with his legs spread. Two strong hands grabbed your thighs from behind and pulled you closer. “I won’t bite.” He smiled and stroked you with his thumbs.

You were sure you had gone insane and were hallucinating the whole scenario. But his stern grip on you felt much too realistic. “You’re my favorite student, you know,” he began, with his eyes stuck to his hands on you, “You’re ambitious, smart, and pretty.” If your shame had died with your integrity, you would’ve moaned at his praise. Instead, you swallowed it down.

“You wouldn’t mind stripping for your professor now, would you?” His voice was so sweet, contrasting with his lust. You finally dared to look at him. Your doubts melted when you saw the tent in his pants. He wanted you too. Your hands began pulling up the hem of your shirt, all while your eyes were set on his crotch. Adam hummed at your lace bra. “Do you always wear pretty things like this to my classes?” One of his hands grazed your breast through the fabric, making your nipple peak. A pathetic “mhm” escaped your throat as you nodded at his question. “Should’ve found out sooner.”

Adam guided you to his desk, lifting you up on it, and stood between your legs. He cradled your warm face, adorned with glassy eyes. And when he kissed you, you thought you’d die. He was so gentle with it, maybe because of his ulterior motives, but it still made your heart melt. His lips moved slowly against yours, teasing you with his tongue, which finally entered when he wrapped an arm around your back. A shaky breath left you, and you involuntarily bucked your hips against his. He let out a laugh, muffled by your mouth.

He broke the kiss and commanded against your lips, “Take your skirt off.”You wiggled out of it, leaving you in your panties. Your nicest ones that you always wore to his lessons, not that you thought he’d ever know. Adam cupped his hand against your damp underwear, grinning to himself. “My poor girl.” He loosened his tie and began unbuckling his pants.

Your breath hitched at the sound of metal clanging. The amount of times that sound had echoed in your imagination was more than you could count. You sat perched on your arms, lending you a view of him undressing. When he untucked his shirt, his happy trail made your stomach swirl. You followed it down to the hem of his exposed underwear. His cock was straining against the fabric, eager to use you.

He pulled it out of its restraints. His hand wrapped around it, stroking himself. Sadly, your eyes were too focused on the movements of his hands that you didn’t notice how his eyes flickered between your needy expression and the damp spot on your panties. He had thought of this too, more times than he’d admit to himself. Dreamed about having his student squirming for him, needing him to take care of her.

“Show me what you do when you’re thinking about me,” he panted, “show me how you touch yourself.” In any normal situation, you would be way too embarrassed to do it. But for him, you would do whatever he asked. You pulled off your panties, exposing your soaked cunt before snaking one of your hands down to your clit. Your legs spasmed at the first touch; you had never been this turned on in your life. Adam watched intently as you massaged your clit, watching as your body tensed with each circling motion. You fought to keep your eyes open, to keep looking at his cock, finally revealed to you. You never thought you’d see it, let alone see him with his hand wrapped around it.

You paused for a second, not wanting to cum now and embarrass yourself. The pause was cut short by two callused fingertips taking your place. The surprise finally had you moan; Adam reveled in the sound. He let go of his cock, focusing solely on making you feel good.

He dipped his fingers down, running them over your slit. You had given up on sitting and were now lying down, sprawled across the dark wood. You clenched when his fingers entered you. If you didn’t know, you’d think it was his cock, based on the stretch compared to your own fingers. A tinge of jealousy hit you when he hit your spot with ease; he must’ve been with many women before you.

Adam’s mouth watered at your walls clenching around his digits. He pulled them out of you. You whined at the sudden emptiness. “Shh, don’t get all whiny now,” he shushed and grabbed his cock again. This time, he placed it against your clit, letting his tip press against it. “Next time, I’m gonna bury my face in you.”

Your hips jerked against him. His words went in one ear and out the other. You just needed him inside you. “Please, sir,” you whined. Adam huffed in response, “Hm? What?” He wasn’t gonna let you win this easily. “You want to be fucked?” The condescension in his voice was enough to make your thighs flex. “Yes, sir,” you nodded eagerly, “I want you inside me; it’s all I’ve been thinking about.” He scoffed at your rambling, pleased with your desperation.

He entered you slowly, making you stop your pathetic cries. He groaned at you enveloping him, squeezing his cock. “I could’ve told your age just from how tight you are,” he huffed, “my pretty little girl.” His strong hands hugged your waist, pulling you onto his cock. You swore internally to never be with a guy your age again. The stretch made your mind go quiet and your mouth loud. You moaned with each thrust, painfully slow but deliciously stretching and hard.

Adam watched his cock disappear into your, in his opinion, perfectly young cunt. He upped his pace once your body stopped fighting his length, stuffing you fully when he swiftly entered you. You cried out at the sudden change and kept at it as he continued with his relentless pace. You wrapped your legs around his hips; somehow you couldn’t get enough despite the painful intrusion.

Adam lowered his torso down over you, capturing your lips in a messy kiss. His beard scratched your chin as his tongue clashed with yours. His cock kept hitting your G-spot over and over, pushing you closer to the edge. “I’m close,” you whined against his beard, furrowing your brows in pleasure. “Go on, baby, make a mess on my cock.”

You tangled your fingers in his hair as the pressure rose, scratching his scalp. He was nearing his climax too; his jaw hung open as he panted against your skin. His strained noises pushed you over the edge, making your legs tremble around his tall frame. Your cries echoed through the lecture room. And soon his grunts did too. If you could, you’d play the sound on repeat forever.

He slumped over you, breathing heavily once his cum had filled you up. “I can’t believe you want me,” he mumbled, making your heart skip a beat. You couldn’t believe you finally slept with him, let alone having him even talk to you. “You’re gonna have to stay behind a lot from now on.”

You didn’t sleep any better that night. You were busy replaying the afternoon behind closed eyes, adding a third finger to resemble his two, staining your pristine sheets with need and the remainder of your professor's cum.

[plantmommoonbaby]

I have covid (rant about that later), and to keep my mind from rotting, I'm rewatching IwtV. So, please enjoy

My Delirious Ramblings about Our Favorite Beautiful Vampire Divorcés (pt 1)

Episode 1:

It feels like it means something that went Lestat does the mind control thing, his victims eyes look like his

Uuugh i saw a tumblr post wondering if the widow du Pointe duLac ever convinced herself Louis pushed Paul so she could believe Paul went to heaven and 😭

That means his mother starts to see him as a monster the literal morning he chooses to become a monster

God, if she never subtle accused him, would he even have agreed to Lestat's offer??

Louis talking over what Lestat said to convince him makes me think all he had to say was that he loved him...

I mean... valid since he just lost his mother's love 💔

Episode 2:

Ummm, Louis, why do you have a painting by your grampa??

Armand isn't even acting in this scene, is he? Boy worships Louis

But, like... how is Armand--sorry, Rashid 🙄 being the only staff member who doesn't mask not a dead give away?

Louis's eyes go green when he has blood lust

Tiny buns 💓

I have a hard time believing Louis diets out of compassion when he'll eat a hogtied endangered species...

God bless Grace du Pointe du Lac

You can say you aren't buying in to the killing, Louis... but your eyes are very green...

Oop, Daniel couldn't stay objective while reliving that little dish... this is when the lines start getting blurry

Episode 3:

It has to be a superiority thing, coz the way he ate that poor kitty was brutal...

Daniel has not kiki'd over exes enough and it shows. Louis reeks of missing his ex. You don't point out how obvious it is until after a few drinks and making sure he can't slide into the DMs first...

Ooooh if looks could kill. Our literal green eyed monster damn near drained Antoinette right there... I guarantee the only reason he didn't is because he thought Lestat was going to drain her later

Checking to make sure Lestat is paying attention before making Jonah think about "them old days" 💀 Louis said "fuck around and find out, Daddy 😘"

Jonah, I know a certain European who is cares a whole lot about who you are looking at, and I'm pretty fucking sure he's not gonna be sensible about it...

Louis, you're not you when you're hungry...

Lestat plays fucked up games, but seeing Louis's green eyes and knowing he isn't stable enough to actually restrain himself and then hurting himself to get them all out is actually pretty respectful of his diet...

Lestat wasn't wrong about Louis being a natural... he's just a natural serial killer, not hunter. He has to want to kill his victim...

Louis kicks in one door, his sister sees him as the devil. He kicks in another and Claudia sees him as an angel 😭😭😭 IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING

I think I need a nap...

[batsplat]

this is an insane question to ask lmao but are there any riders you’ve noticed through the years who are like…nice to the umbrella girls hahaha. I’m generally not tooooo bothered abt them, like yeah I think it’s sexist, but I can also imagine that if I’d been into motogp at 19 I probably would’ve tried to be one 💀 but like sometimes I feel bad the riders just straight up ignore them :( is there anyone who talks to there umbrella girls? I’ve noticed Cal Crutchlow (random ik but I’m rewatching 2015 lmfao) doesn’t rly spray them with champagne which seemed polite of him lmao. And I saw a comment somewhere that Casey had his wife be his umbrella girl which is cute if tru <3 Ik Vale’s gf / mother of his kids was also an umbrella girl so like…obv he had to be talking to them sometimes hahaha. SORRY this question is so random but actually no one’s rly weighed in on this on Reddit or anything so im curious

nothing insane about this question but, and I'm aware this gets me a D for feminism, this is quite honestly an aspect of the sport that makes me actively uncomfortable enough that I just try not to pay attention to it. I get that if you have them around, you're right in that it is probably nicer to interact with them but also like... idk, I'd probably be minded to ignore them too on the grid before competing, and I just can't really give any points for men spraying these women with champagne on podiums. there's definitely quite a few blokes who do it, which I notice insofar as I usually just look away. the one vaguely positive example I can come up with is indy 2008, where a very cold and very wet valentino has to shed his jacket before headed on the podium (which quite honestly I would simply not do) and gives it to one of the women. she takes it off again at some point (I would also not do this) and then I am once again reminded of how weird it is that these women are half naked in the cold and the wet

with casey, yeah, his wife did do that, though this is also another thing that I have very 'eh' feelings about. they met when both of them were still young but she was very young, and she's following him around the world at an age where she just should not have been doing that. I'm not calling casey a bad person over it etc etc etc, I think this is a case where you needed some actual adults to step in and tell them that this just was not going to fly. preferably her parents. this isn't a knock on anyone who feels differently, it really isn't... but I just struggle to enjoy watching this girl constantly hold umbrellas for some bloke, rather than doing literally anything else with her time

again, this is absolutely nothing against the ask, it is interesting and I get the impulse! I'm just the worst person possible to get an answer from because I actively attempt to turn off my brain whenever I am perceiving a grid girl. which, again, I am also extremely aware isn't a particularly great approach. just ignoring the few women who are present on my screen for the sake of my own comfort is far from ideal. but that's where I'm at

[tonydaddingham]

six months on (albeit, a bit late) part 2/3

part one | part two | epilogue (at some point)

okay right this is significantly more important (and more interesting frankly) than doing the job that im actually paid to do, so let's pick up where we left off in part one. main conclusions that ive come to so far, as a recap:

aziraphale feels threatened by the conversation with the metatron and feels he has little choice but to go to heaven. also, possibly feels aware that the metatron might be able to see/hear their conversation, and so has to be careful in his own proposal that does not alert crowley to there being something wrong, and does not alert metatron to his suspicion of him

wants to bring crowley with him because... yk, love. and he thinks that the restoration might be something that crowley has always wanted anyway, so he has to offer it without clueing crowley in on the possibility that aziraphale is under some kind of duress

aziraphale was initially very resistant to going, but only gave in when a) metatron brought up crowley in the first place (implied threat aforementioned), b) crowley could be restored (which he thinks crowley might want anyway but never entertained could happen), and c) it would give aziraphale an opportunity to not only change heaven as it currently is, but also recognises him - in all his perceived imperfection as an angel - to be the "right man for the job"

crowley understandably refuses, and launches into his confession/proposal. both of them want the same end result - being together - but the journey there is the contested part. aziraphale tries to persuade crowley into coming with him by subtly changing his language and mannerisms, almost like he's leaking out hints as to why it is so important that they remain together

the only true miscommunication they have - that aptly heralds the beginning of the end - is "nothing lasts forever". everything else, arguably (aside from aziraphale's attempt to keep things under wraps) is fairly well communicated, but they simply. disagree

i will hastily add, as i said in part one, that this is still only my interpretation of the whole sequence; there have been so many amazing observations that have made my opinion/interpretation of the final fifteen flit from one stance to another, and these two posts are purely me rewatching it all, paying closer attention, and working out what the hell (ha) i think is going on.

so, we left off at "good luck".

aziraphale definitely appears taken aback that crowley has not, in fact, understood what he meant throughout the whole conversation, and most of all appears to have completely shut down with "nothing lasts forever". where aziraphale thinks that crowley putting his glasses back on means that they're about to leave together, hand in hand, and face whatever has been dealt to them... it's actually crowley drawing the line in the sand, and sticking (rightly so) to his set boundary that he will not return to heaven as an angel - regardless of the optimistic assumption of what that would precisely entail (ie. this is assuming that restoration is even possible, let alone that crowley would be able to be restored and simultaneously keep his memories/his "him" in the process... arguably, these two options are likely the more realistic).

aziraphale is now, more desperately and in plainer language, resorting to begging crowley to see why this is the best choice they can make to remain together. but this is also where i feel like aziraphale's double-speak language that he exhibited with "...i can make a difference"/"we can make a difference", and the metatron jibe, is growing more frantic and - as a result - more obvious.

to me, he's clearly trying to impress upon crowley that he is not rejecting him, that he wants crowley with him desperately... but is equally having to keep his expression of this as... strategic as possible. it's almost like he's flitting between talking to crowley in as heartfelt and candid a manner as he can, and then squeaking in the caveats that are for the benefit of this assumed pretence he's playing - i guess what im trying to say is that aziraphale can't very well turn around and say, 'crowley i am not rejecting you, i want to be with you, but i cannot get out of this situation im being placed in, and i cannot leave you here on your own because i have no idea - and am scared of - what will happen.' the way he says "work with me!"; 'its going to be me and you against them, still. that's all it was ever going to be; i am not theirs, i am yours, but i have to play this game' - which incidentally, to any outside ears, would arguably just sound like aziraphale asking for crowley to... well, work with him. "we can be together!" is said with all due emphasis and cry, and aziraphale neatly tacks on, "angels, doing good!", because they would do good - good as they see it - and crowley would have to be an angel in order to do so, yes, but ultimately aziraphale wants him... and yet still remains plausible to anyone who could be listening.

i do still think - for the record - that there is a part of aziraphale that thinks that this is absolutely the right thing to do. crowley has put other options to him that, in contrast, solve nothing as far as aziraphale is concerned, and this sense of threat from the metatron only forces into sharp relief that whatever happens, wherever they go, they are not free of anything and never will be until something changes. this line of thinking has not always been how aziraphale has thought historically - but it's who he is now. if we accept that all of the hard, agonising decisions and choices that aziraphale has had to make, all of the times where he has battled with what is the right thing to do (arguably - exactly as crowley has taught him), has led to this moment, then aziraphale standing steadfast to his decision is absolutely in line with the character development we've been shown throughout both seasons.

that is just my interpretation given the events that come before this bit of the dialogue; whichever way you look at it though, aziraphale is evidently panicked and erratic that this might actually be it - that he and crowley are done. the really interesting bit for me, however, lies in his movements, his body language, and his expressions? they feel more in line with how aziraphale normally acts. to me, all of this is genuine, it's not put on, nor faked; where before he was trying to hide his fear under the guise of excitement, it now feels like this is actually aziraphale speaking, and not some uncanny facsimile who is trying to clutch every fraying string and keep it all together. also worth noting that during this part of the interaction that not once, as far as we see it, does aziraphale look out of the window.

whichever way you look at it though, aziraphale is evidently panicked and erratic that this might actually be it - that he and crowley are done. the really interesting bit for me lies in his movements, his body language, and his expressions? they feel more in line with how aziraphale normally acts. to me, all of this is genuine, it's not put on, nor faked; where before he was trying to hide his fear under the guise of excitement, it now feels like this is actually aziraphale speaking, and not some uncanny facsimile who is trying to clutch every fraying string and keep it all together. also worth noting that during this part of the interaction that not once, as far as we see it, does aziraphale look out of the window.

crowley though? crowley has clocked out. noone could blame him at all, especially after the sucker punch of the previous half of the sequence, because whilst i think he's hearing aziraphale say these things spoken with sincerety, probably even recognises them to be genuine, he's possibly also hearing the unspoken, perceived caveat that comes along with them. "we can be together... but you have to change." "we can be together... but i'll never love you, as you are, as much as you want me to."

he's hearing what aziraphale is saying, and either he doesn't believe it, or he's resentful that he would say this now - from crowley's pov - to cover up and compensate for what he said before. as he goes to walk away, but is called back by aziraphale, his turn and his carriage is... not petulant, that's the wrong word, but almost impatient? like he's humouring aziraphale at this point, but not that he has much more interest in what aziraphale has got to say. and again! given everything that has just been said and done, from crowley's perspective, that's completely understandable.

it's the turn of the head; crowley already has his barrier up with his glasses on, but he's cutting off any remaining communication he can give to aziraphale. it's interesting that he's specifically chosen to look out of the window, where we presume the metatron is - but does crowley even see him? does crowley essentially dissociating so rapidly that he can't even see that the metatron is there? or does he see him, and think that it's of very little consequence - the metatron won, he's got aziraphale (or - aziraphale was always heaven's, anyway), and it's barely worth notice or comment?

but it's also like he's giving aziraphale another chance - another chance to change his mind. if he didn't at least have a small flicker of hope left that that might happen, it stands to reason that crowley would have simply kept on walking. but he stops, and he waits. as aziraphale keeps talking, however, he turns his head specifically as he says "together", and appears to clamp his mouth shut as he does so, as if almost to say 'it's no use saying all this, because i'm hurt and i'm angry and i'm giving up. you want us to be together only if i come back; i'm never going back, you keep pushing, so how can you so desperately want to be with me if this is the only circumstance in which you can bring yourself to do so?'

of course, then, we get aziraphale's last gut-wrenching plea that he needs crowley. it's so simple a statement, and it has no condition afterwards, nothing to qualify it - and yet it is still something that aziraphale has never said, or - to my recollection - ever expressed in this capacity. sure, he's begged him with puppy-dog eyes to make hamlet popular, or to miracle the stain out of his coat, but nothing so heartfelt and dire as this. it's as true to any love confession that i think we get in the final fifteen; especially when you consider the mirror of the line in 1862 - "i don't need you..." / "and the feeling is mutual, obviously!" - and the context in which that is said.

aziraphale has, as bravely and vulnerably as we've seen aziraphale do anything else, vocalised something as close to a love confession as he can currently get... and crowley doesn't say anything? doesn't even look at him? throughout this confession of sorts, crowley has continued to look out of the window, and whilst we know that this is likely out of self-preservation on his part, what must this seem like from aziraphale's perspective? presumably it feels like a rejection - but is that a rejection of the entire thing - the whole offer - or of what aziraphale has just told him?

in the above moment, we can see aziraphale's face clearly crumple in hurt when crowley doesn't even acknowledge what he's just said, before masking it rapidly with indignation. he then lashes out with "i don't think you understand what i'm offering you."

indenting this next bit, because i need to ramble it out:

whilst i do think (as i said in the last post), that aziraphale might genuinely believe that crowley in some small part wants to return to heaven to be an angel, crowley has quite clearly rejected, in the room, any notion of it. his repulsion at heaven, and the notion of forgiveness, is not as wishy-washy as it was at the bandstand; now, he is vehement and firm that his opinion of heaven cannot get any lower. and i think aziraphale knows it. plus, the way that aziraphale words and proposes the restoration offer to crowley feels like he was aware that it might be a hard sell. so when aziraphale says 'you don't understand what i'm offering you', i don't think that aziraphale was himself talking about the restoration specifically; i don't think he's essentially saying, 'crowley, you're being so stupid, you could be an angel again - what part of this don't you understand? do you even comprehend what i'm trying to give you, here?' what i think aziraphale is, however, offering to crowley is that he and crowley remain together. aziraphale doesn't have much of a choice in going back to heaven - that much seems fairly apparent - and the only way, as far as he sees it, that they can remain together is if they go back to heaven together. and to do that, crowley would need to become an angel. i know people have often viewed aziraphale's decision to return to heaven along of the lines of, 'he loves heaven more than he loves crowley'... but i don't think that's it at all. to aziraphale - him begging crowley to come with him, work with and help him to make a difference (i.e. the right thing to do, i.e. a difference that is meaningful to, and controlled by, them), for crowley to not even look at him when he tells him he needs him - it must frankly feel like a rejection of aziraphale himself? when aziraphale says that crowley doesn't understand what he's offering him, i think it's more along the lines of aziraphale saying that he's offering all of himself to crowley. in the hope that, even if it means crowley has to return to heaven, being together is enough to warrant it? that aziraphale himself is enough for crowley to want to do that? 'do you hate heaven more than you love me?'

this feels like a stretch, i grant you, but given everything we saw towards the beginning of the episode - especially where shax's first jibe at aziraphale is to undermine what aziraphale actually means to crowley ("emotional support angel"), something that aziraphale presumably already fears (i.e. that he's a means to an end, of sorts) - it doesn't seems implausible.

furthermore, when crowley retorts that he understands perfectly, and understands more than aziraphale does, aziraphale's reaction then makes more emotional sense. of course, from crowley's perspective, he thinks that this is about the restoration, and of course he understands more about what aziraphale is offering... because how can he not?! he is fallen, he fell, and there is no way he, someone who has gone thousands of years (potentially millions) being deemed unforgivable and irredeemable, can ever be restored like aziraphale is hoping he can. and why would he want to be? that's not something aziraphale as an angel would ever be able to fully understand; the futility of wishing otherwise, the insult, and the impossibility.

i do think that it's worth bearing in mind that canonically, the implication is that aziraphale was not there to witness crowley's fall - possibly not even the fall in its entirety. we're never shown any instance where crowley even talks about it to aziraphale. absolutely, this is evidently a delicate and (if nothing else) touchy subject for crowley, and he doesn't owe aziraphale a deeper account than the questionable "sauntered vaguely downwards". but equally, it's not fair to assume that aziraphale knows how much of a boundary he is crossing by even entertaining the idea, and pushing it.

perhaps he should have inferred it at a previous point, true, but... the closest we get to crowley talking about it is "the angel you knew is not me", and "i won't be forgiven! not ever!". it's not unrealistic that aziraphale would infer these two poignant lines as crowley being wistful for the chance at redemption or forgiveness. ultimately, in my view, it's not until the final fifteen that aziraphale begins to have even the faintest idea of just how deep crowley's antipathy for heaven runs. it's not a case of just thinking they're a bunch of dicks, but that fundamentally, crowley will never align with heaven under any circumstances.

so when crowley says this, he is absolutely saying 'i know about this subject more than you do; i am fallen, you are not, and you therefore are not able to understand like i do why being restored is not only unthinkable, but the worst outcome possible for me. it's not the good thing you think it is. i want us to be together, but you're asking for something i cannot - and will not - give you, and you don't seem to see the problem in asking me in the first place.'

but aziraphale is not thinking of this; what i think he might be hearing from crowley is, 'no no, i know you want to be together, and are offering yourself up to me with your whole heart; the issue is though that if it means i have to go to heaven to have it, to have you... it's not enough to make me do this. i don't want it; nothing and noone would warrant me doing this. you are not enough for me to acquiesce to going, and moreover you're not clever enough to understand that.'

it very quickly, i think, stops being about crowley not wanting to return to heaven - at least, not in the way they were previously discussing. instead, it feels like aziraphale is now starting to internalise crowley's reaction as a reflection on himself. which then, for me, that makes aziraphale's next line of "well... then there's nothing more to say." make all the more sense to me... because that's the kinda thing you say after things have really hit the ground, right? and i imagine, for aziraphale, hearing crowley essentially say that he's not enough would probably elicit that reaction. that crowley ultimately has no further use for him (again: "emotional support angel"), because crowley can so easily discard what they had, and so very nearly could have had. and not only that - crowley implies in his wording that, once again, whilst aziraphale is incredibly intelligent in some ways, he can also be phenomenally stupid (which turned out great the last time he said it).

aziraphale clearly tries to put a brave face on - school his expression, blink away the tears that are clearly gathering and brace his mouth against the trembling - and slap on the fakest, tightest, weakest smile. just before it switches to crowley, however, you can see the anger begin to set in; looking towards the ground, aziraphale seems like he's already given way to the feelings of disappointment and betrayal, and possibly even humiliation? that he's laid out his own heart - he thinks - so clearly, and it's being refused as if it's nothing.

now look, idk about anyone else watching this scene for the first time, but... my reaction to the part of this bit of dialogue was... not dissimilar to aziraphale's. after all of this emotional outpouring, both parties being hurt by the other, etc., it feels completely apropos of nothing for crowley to suddenly be asking if aziraphale can hear whatever he's meant to be hearing. aziraphale's reaction, to me, not only within character, but entirely reasonable; he's wound up, going through a thousand different emotions, and yet he's meant to be hearing... what? a car alarm? someone thumping out some drum and bass? of course aziraphale retorts testily, and agitatedly; they've just reached the end of an intense discussion and - as he sees it - the whimper end of six thousand years of being an 'us' in various capacities. he obviously isn't, but i can imagine that it would feel that crowley is trivialising what's just happened and, in aziraphale's shoes, i'd probably be a bit shitty - and subsequently bitchy - in my delivery too.

but of course - ha - we then get the suckerpunch of the nightingale line, and we feel the weight of it right alongside aziraphale. the poignancy and tragedy of what crowley is saying with this. there's been numerous of delicious metas regarding the motif or symbolism of the nightingale (personal favourite for me is the shakespearean link to the nightingale/lark in R&J), but in the context of the story? the context that both these characters presumably know and understand? we know about the end of s1, and it's suddenly apparent that the song was diegetic. that both of these characters recognise that the nightingale represents what they nearly - and did - have and accomplish by the end of s1.

there's no piano tinkling in the background, playing what we now understand is considered by both of them to be their song, (i still have very narrowed, suspicious eyes at 1941), to put them in a lovey-dovey mood... because this? right here? this isn't going to have a happy ending. calling attention to the sheer absence of it, figuratively speaking, only confirms for the both of them that whatever they did have - or were on the cusp of having - is gone.

moreso for aziraphale; it's abundantly clear when the finality of this hits him, evident in his dumbfounded expression that follows immediately after crowley says the line. and the way that crowley says it, how it could be perceived as incredibly nonchalant and casual (and for the audience absolutely betrays just how devastated crowley likely is in saying it), is evidently shocking for aziraphale; the notion that this is truly broken, this is done, and there is no coming back from it... and crowley already has a foot out the door already.

which is only hammered home with this:

idk, again, if this was the same for anyone else, but even upon first viewing, this felt acutely unfair. not only the idiot line, which as i've already alluded to seems to be a firm boundary for aziraphale (we'll get to 'i forgive you' in a minute huns, i promise), but the way that crowley very firmly places this whole thing upon aziraphale.

up until this point on first viewing, personally, i was content with appreciating that both of them had a good point; that their perspectives were so agonisingly polarising but had equal merit. but this does not all rest on aziraphale's shoulders; there isn't, to my mind, even any blame to assign in this whole sequence, but to my mind they are both equally accountable for the outcome. they cannot align their separate belief systems, can't align what they think is the right thing to do, but share the devastating want to be together. there's miscommunication, sure - but not enough that i think either leave each other not knowing that the other cares for them deeply. it's understandable why their paths have diverged, but both of them have been fighting for 'us' until this bitter end.

so, to then watch crowley essentially drop the blame for them not being together so squarely on aziraphale's shoulders was... frustrating, to say the least. that aziraphale is so firmly in the wrong, and that him being 'an idiot' is the only reason why they're not making out on the sofa and skipping into the metaphorical sunset right now. that - if we're being real here - if aziraphale had abandoned whatever he had considered to be the right thing to do, and followed crowley in what he wanted, what he considered right, that they'd have a future together (and that's not even taking into account the whole metatron-threat thing, but i hadn't reflected on that upon first watch).

i think the fact that crowley did this, frankly, is not lost on aziraphale. he certainly reacts accordingly; his face crumples minutely before he turns reflexively away - both away from crowley, and away from the metatron (because, lest we forget, he is still outside). it feels like what were web-like fractures spidering out across aziraphale have now suddenly cracked under the pressure, and the first piece has fallen. it makes sense that in this moment of actual physical vulnerability, something that aziraphale wasn't quick enough to school away and mask, he would turn from crowley to hide the hurt he's just handed him.

(lol are you ready bc i'm not)

sigh.

okay right; this is probably the only bit of the final fifteen sequence where, by large, my reaction to it has not changed. to be clear; i love the kiss for what it does narratively, and the delicious possibilities that it opens up in s3. i think the kiss, and their respective reactions within it, are perfectly in line with their characters. frankly, on the whole, i enjoy it for what it is.

lets start with the preceding bit, as a reminder; crowley's distraught, aziraphale's distraught, we're all distraught. crowley has said something that, to my mind, is quite frankly unfair, but understandable for him to say from his perspective. it's also the line that causes aziraphale to physically break, and he's turned away from crowley to hide himself and prevent crowley from seeing the hurt that it's caused him, the ensuing vulnerability. to my mind, by extension, aziraphale is now at a point where he thinks it's all over, that there's nothing to salvage, and that they're done. crowley certainly seemed to give that impression with his line about the nightingales, and "we could have been us."

aziraphale breaking, and turning away, evidently spurs something within crowley; that there does seem, somehow, to be some hope that aziraphale will stay, and so crowley immediately strides over to him. the thing is that after initially watching it, and then thinking on it a little more (and rewatched another six or so times), i... didn't get it? i didn't get what the point of it was. it seemed abundantly clear to the both of them that aziraphale wasn't going to change his mind, and neither was crowley (and tbh, neither of them should - and even if one of them did, it wouldn't erase the *waves around vigorously* everything that just happened), so what was the kiss meant to prove? what result was it meant to have?

it could be that there wasn't meant to be a result of any kind, that crowley was just outpouring his emotion in a make-or-break physical way. yes, absolutely, and i would think that (that it was a purely emotional action, not necessarily meant to do anything), but... when they break apart, crowley clearly appears to be waiting for something.

but i'll get to that in a minute; the point however seems to be it's aziraphale's break that kicks crowley into action. that he still has an 'in', and he can use it. aziraphale cracked, crowley sees a glimmer of hope, and does the most direct thing that comes to mind that would impress upon aziraphale just how desperate crowley is for him to change his mind.

i said in a meta a few months ago, god knows where it is now, that the whole interaction appears somewhat predatory - like, literally, in the animalistic sense. it's violent, and fast, and there's no room for discussion or manoeuvre in it; grab him by the lapels, drag him round, plant it on him, and hold him there. the dance and motion of it is almost serpentine in nature. of course, again, i absolutely recognise the desperation with which crowley is evidently acting, and there's no part of me that thinks that this is done out of anything but the most deep-seated, painful, aching love, but it's... still uncomfortable. i don't see any romance in this, personally, at all.

that doesn't diminish the romantic feelings fuelling it, however, but it's not the kind of kiss, i think, you would expect to see from someone intending to romance someone into remaining with them...? of course it's more than possible (a certainty really, depending on the hc; ymmv) that crowley has simply never kissed anyone before, and just simply doesn't know... what to do? and maybe that explains why he doesn't move, doesn't actually... do much of anything, whilst kissing aziraphale. but we know crowley has seen at least one stereotypically romantic film, and presumably has seen romantic kisses throughout history. so to me, it kinda begs the question of - if a typically-romantic, climactic, show-stopping snog wasn't the intention here, what was?

i put this in a photoset when the parallel had struck me, as they often do, at 2am; there was a huge emphasis played, in crowley and aziraphale's first truly meaningful encounter post-eden, on aziraphale's first temptation. something that he obviously enjoyed for millennia to come, and has a huge impact on him as an angel and as a person.

additionally, someone else posted at some point soon after s2 aired that the way aziraphale devours a whole bloody cow is reflective of the fact that, at the time, he didn't realise he was starving. apply this to the kiss, and we can imagine what kissing crowley would mean for him in turn. if aziraphale succumbed to the ox-rib temptation, and likely other temptations that followed afterwards, it would make sense that crowley might - might - resort to a similar method in getting him to stay, at a point when all else has failed, and crowley thinks he has no other option left.

i'm in two minds as to whether crowley meant the kiss, full-chest, to actually be a temptation (for me, it makes his characterisation even more nuanced and complex, so i'm largely on the side of it having been intentional, i'm afraid), but the way that he pulls back afterwards, and waits for the verdict, strongly suggests to me that it might have been.... waiting/hoping? for aziraphale to change his mind. that if it was a temptation, that he pulls away hoping that aziraphale will declare himself to remain on earth with crowley.

i realise the above may be a point of contention, and accept that - tbh, i just enjoy exploring the possibility. and even if crowley hadn't intended it that way, i think aziraphale certainly may have seen it that way (which again, for me, is in line with aziraphale's development starting in s1 with resisting crowley's insistence that he kill the antichrist etc.). but again i'm getting ahead of myself-

so wham, in with the kiss. aziraphale obviously reacts initially in shock (no, i don't think it's revulsion, but it's certainly surprise and likely a bit of the ole 'what the fuck'); he keeps his eyes open, his eyebrows drawn together in a frown, his posture is stiff, and his hands flail. but then... he melts into it. more than melts into it - he returns it. his eyes close, his face relaxes, and his hands come up, hesitantly and tentatively pressing into crowley's back. there does come a point during the kiss, however, where aziraphale's hands detach from crowley's back, and return to flitting around like he's unsure of what to do with them. at which point crowley finally releases him, and breaks the kiss.

a combination of aziraphale not physically pushing him away, and even proceeding to draw crowley in, with tenderness? to crowley, i can imagine he breaks the kiss hoping ever so slightly that whatever it was meant to be or convey - temptation, whatever - made aziraphale change his mind. that this last-ditch effort was enough to make aziraphale stay. he pulls back, and almost seems expectant of some kind of result.

aziraphale's immediate reaction, once the kiss breaks, is not so static. he falls back out of crowley's clenched fists, and his face takes to unadulterated heartbreak and despair, but ultimately seems to be rooted in panic...? shock? aziraphale also pointedly looking out towards the doors is telling, because i don't think it's wholly left his mind about who's waiting outside, and the position that he's now been put into - where he has to reconcile this really quite distressing experience with everything that has come before it.

by god does aziraphale cycle through some emotions here. he can't even look at crowley whilst he processes this maelstrom that's going on - sorrow, longing, confusion, and pure shock - and stumbles over his words trying, i think, to find the right ones to say. the kiss, i think, has very nearly done its job; aziraphale is clearly conflicted, but i think struggling to find a way to express that he wants this, but he still can't stay. trying to anchor himself to something, to a decision, that won't destroy himself or crowley in the process.

however, before he even gets that far, there is a really key moment where his expression abruptly changes, almost like he's realised something. in that moment, it's where he finally makes eye contact with crowley, and for an infinitesimal moment, aziraphale seems to eye him with something like... betrayal? disbelief? and that's where, unfortunately, i think the temptation element comes in, because i think aziraphale recognises it (or at least, thinks he does). and possibly recognises that, from aziraphale's perspective, crowley has resorted to something that he knows nearly always works on aziraphale, trying to force his hand into doing something that aziraphale has already expressed he will not - and presumably cannot - do.

but beyond that; i've said before whilst kisses do not feature in austen's literary works, aziraphale is hardly ignorant of the trope that a kiss - typically - in romantic fiction can carry weight as a declaration of love. has aziraphale ever idly wondered on what it would be like to have a first kiss with crowley? yeah, probably. but arguably what crowley has done is taken that - taken something that is precious, tender, meaningful, and cannot be taken back and redone - and turned it into something heartbreaking, possibly manipulative, and overall - frankly - something ugly.

aziraphale even gets a little smirk on, because in that moment i think he's genuinely angry at crowley... for any/all of the above. he seems so plainly resentful and appalled by what he thinks crowley was doing, thinking that aziraphale wouldn't see through it, and resorts to his textbook bitchiness in the guise of a sarcastic and sardonic smile. and even his body language - he exhales sharply in a small huff, his shoulders relax and his posture straightens, and he even bears his teeth slightly the smallest of snarls. and then, of course, he delivers the fatal blow of "i forgive you".

i know there have been a fair few interpretations of this line, and what aziraphale was saying with it. mine, personally, is very simple; this is how aziraphale can basically get away with telling crowley to go fuck himself. in s1, he says it in a way - responding to crowley's rather painful line about aziraphale being 'so clever, but so stupid' - that almost feels, on the surface, as if it's intended with benevolence and kindness... but is instead saying 'fuck you, that hurt. so i'm going to say this in return knowing it will hurt/annoy you in turn.'

and tbh, i don't think it's any different in this moment of the final fifteen sequence either. aziraphale is clearly hurt (once he delivers the line, you can see his face shift once again back into soft sorrow) and clearly angry. he is lashing out in a way befitting his 'bit (see: lot) of a bastard' streak, because he perceives it to be striking at something that resembles a weakness, or sore point, for crowley. it's also a clever insomuch that should anyone ever overhear him, he's being his devout angel self... but to him and crowley, it's absolutely a code that they both patently understand.

crowley then seems to just... accept that nothing has changed/it didn't work, and simultaneously rolls with the gut punch that was "i forgive you", like he's not even really surprised that aziraphale had that response to give him. he sighs, in a way that practically vocalises 'disappointed but not surprised', and succumbs to the inevitability of them not having (yet) the happy ending that he'd perhaps hoped. he turns, tosses "don't bother" over his shoulder, and leaves the shop.

i think "don't bother" could be taken multiple ways; if we accept that crowley actually knows the underlying subtext in "i forgive you", it could him saying, essentially, 'don't waste your breath, we're done/i'm going'. if he takes it literally, it could be 'i'm a demon, as you've so clearly pointed out, don't bother trying'... or 'i'm not sorry or asking for forgiveness, i did what i felt was right'.

last little bit before i close off here (i'll do an epilogue for the last bit of the sequence, up until credits roll; there's too much to try to squeeze into like two gifs and a couple of paragraphs):

when crowley leaves, aziraphale most obviously looks desperate himself, panicked, and heartbroken... i'm even somewhat sure that he's about to call crowley's name, or a simple "no" (this bit is next on my 'lipread' list) and stops himself. his lip pouts, he's breathing heavily, and whilst - by god - his eyes are a watery mess throughout the entire sequence, this is probably as close as he gets to shedding actual tears. there's still some residue confusion, like 'what the fuck just happened, that's not how that was supposed to go'.

it's clear that aziraphale is generally distressed, and he certainly looks this way... just before the point that his hand raises to his lips. the way it's so shaky, and hesitant, the wide-eyed, shocked stare before rapidly blinking, perhaps both in disbelief and also to rid himself of the tears building? and then, whilst his fingers are almost trying to imprint the kiss even more, he lowers them and reveals his face stiffening into a sneer (jaw and nose tightens, eyes become more hooded, eyebrows draw together).

now, i'm in two minds as to who this sneer is directed at - is it at crowley, because of the same reasons he may have said 'i forgive you'? or is it at metatron, for putting him in this position in the first place? honestly, i think it's the former; aziraphale seems to have almost all but forgotten the metatron, and his reaction to metatron returning to the bookshop would support that. his head turns so quickly to the door when it opens, and that hope and surprise quickly disappears when he realises it's not crowley... turns away, most likely to wipe his eyes (even possibly his mouth), before turning back to the metatron to answer as to crowley's reaction.

which - and i'll leave off with this, because it'll follow neatly into the epilogue post - seems odd. metatron has presumably seen crowley come out of the shop, and even if they don't exchange a look, let alone words, he can clearly surmise that negotiations went a bit sour if crowley has left without aziraphale... if it wasn't obvious by now, it's seems to be a very blatant, and yet artfully delivered ploy. whether the motive was to separate them out of fear/trepidation, or just simply get aziraphale back in heaven under his thumb without crowley's influence, it's clear that the metatron never intended - nor thought it plausible - that crowley would agree to return to heaven. his next lines certainly cement that thought, and i think might have registered to aziraphale too.

i'll be back at some point ciao

[redwhitebuddie]

this is not something id usually post but why not!

ive been on a queer movie kick lately, and wanted to give a few reviews and recommendations of some lesser known ones so i can spread the word because some of these are complete hidden gems!

Beautiful Thing | 1996

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

i rated this movie four stars. not because it is outrageously deep or new or profound. but of how it’s so particularly captured such a subculture of life, and can make even the worst things seem joyful. the relationships, even outside of the main romance, were also nuanced and detailed, and it felt like you knew all of the characters from people in your own life. ithink the best way that I can describe it is that it was endearing in a really normal way. and the last shot is perfect.

Shelter | 2007

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

i have rewatch this movie twice since I originally have seen it. once again, this movie really captures a particular person’s life and it’s so much more about life than it is just the romance. It felt like a natural connection, the characters had chemistry, and i was just giggling a lot of the time. im a sucker for a found family movie and this really hit the spot. i did cry the first time. 

Latter Days | 2003

⭐️⭐️⭐️

this movie was interesting. I really enjoyed the main characters connection with his best friend and I found most of the scenes totally normal early 2000s stuff. the romance was good, the chemistry was there most of the time, and I was rooting for them after one of the big events later in the movie. I watched this after the first two and my expectations from those put me at too high a bar, and just this one fell in comparison. 

Birdcage | 1996

⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

this movie was a pleasure. i absolutely love Robin Williams, and I think his performance in this was great. I love queer movies that involve drag, as that is such a big portion of queer culture. I thought the premise was interesting enough to keep me connected, I felt like it had a logical chain of events that culminates in an interesting watch. there were some points where I felt like it was dragging on too long, or the joke was repeating itself too much however, I think some parts of it absolutely captured queer culture in a way that makes me have to appreciate it. I definitely recommend.

Shiva Baby | 2020

⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

this whole movie was centered in one house, 99% of it was just scenes in this home from a funeral which on paper, sounds like it could make it boring but I really enjoyed watching this movie. rachel is so talented and her performance in this movie was great and I think this role was perfect for her. I’m a big fan of slice of life and this was definitely that. but also extremely dramatic and messy and complicated in the best way. 

Theater Camp | 2023

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2

as someone who did not grow up in theater, but had friends that did, this movie was absolutely incredible. the characters were great, and knew when and how to make fun of itself, while still taking itself seriously in someways. their performances throughout the whole thing are great. this movie is really stuck with me for one reason or another, i think it’s gonna be a new go to comfort movie.

The Four-Faced Liar | 2010

⭐️⭐️⭐️

if I’m being honest, this movie wasn’t great. but when you’re trying to find sapphic films that aren’t historical or depressing, it’s really hard to be picky. It’s a dramdy at its finest. interconnected and messy relationships, slightly insufferable characters then sprinkle in some cringe you get this movie. but sometimes the drama is what you need. and there’s also movies that you need to make fun of while also paying half attention to, if you’re looking for that this is your pick.

[nakasomethingkun]

do you have drama recommendations :') im entering a late asian drama phase LOL

Hiiiii thank you for the question!

There are so many ways to answer this depending on what your preferred genres are, which Asian dramas you tend to watch (e.g., Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Korean, Indian, etc.), and many other things. I'm not sure which ones you'll be in the mood for and how to go about this, but I've decided to categorize the recommendations based on language and to just list down whatever are at the top of my head at the time of writing. I might miss a few really good ones, so I apologise in advance lol. I also added some commentary but not the synopsis, because I figured you could probably find a better description of the synopsis out there than whatever I can give, haha. Anyway. On to the list!

Japanese dramas:

1) Cherry Magic. If you've been following me since at least 2020, you'll probably know how dear this show is to me. BL rom com with some magical realism, good acting, great chemistry, cute plot, and overall warm vibes.

2) Midnight Diner. Easy-to-watch show, with each episode written almost as a standalone. Nice to watch if you're trying to relax.

3) Old Fashioned Cupcake. This is not old man yaoi, but the main character is 39 and is quite contemplative about it. This show has great writing, and the main couple's individual character development and relationship development were amazing to watch. Also challenges the expectations of what men of certain ages should or shouldn't do.

4) Rookies. A classic 👌🏼 Based on a manga of the same name, this show is about a teacher helping delinquents achieve their dream of playing baseball at the national level. A bit cheesy at times, but really heart-warming and uplifting. Plus, the theme song slaps big time.

5) Our Dining Table. Food, love, found family. A good, simple show that will give you all the feels.

6) What Did You Eat Yesterday? Now this is old man yaoi. It's a really good show that depicts the day-to-day life of a middle-aged gay couple in Tokyo, from their mundane struggles to their major hurdles and everything in between. The second season is especially beautiful, with well-written character development for a lot of the characters.

7) Nobuta wo Produce. Another classic. You have Horikita Maki, Kamenashi Kazuya, and Yamashita Tomohisa - plenty of eye candy to go around. The story itself is charming and enjoyable, and the OST is a banger.

8) Monster. This one is a movie by Kore-eda. It's just such a good movie that I had to include it in this list.

9) Utsukushii Kare. If you're in the mood for a BL that's a bit more twisted but still sweet and fun, then this one is highly recommended.

Korean:

1) Hospital Playlist. One of my favorite K-dramas. Slice of life, centering around a group of 5 doctors who have been friends since college and are now in their 40s, and have decided to reform their band. The writing beats are quite different from what you'd find in a typical K-drama, so I find it refreshing and interesting. I do have to warn you that you'll need to pay close attention when watching this show so you don't miss anything! Funny, heart-warming, charming, and overall fun. And the music is soooo good. The actors actually learned to play the instruments as part of the show! I wish I could watch this show for the first time again :')

2) Crash Landing on You. If you're going to watch a ""stereotypical"" rom com K-drama, then there is no better place to start. CLOY is SO enjoyable despite all the overused tropes, because the writing is good and the characters are loveable. Fun fact: the actors who play the main couple got married some time after the show!

3) Love Scout. This one is still fresh in my memory because it's recent. Simple, coherent writing, with loveable characters. The female lead in particular is just 👌🏼🥺💞🥹🙏🏼

4) The Flower of Evil. I love this show. Drama, romance, crime, psychological thriller - this girl has got it all. I rewatch this sometimes just to feel something.

5) Vincenzo. A bit difficult to watch at parts due to how brutal some of the characters are, but overall a fun show about lawyers, the mafia, and giving evil people what they deserve. Also makes you think about the whole idea of evil. Also the humor in this is great and there's also some found family thrown in there. This baby has also got it all.

6) Beyond Evil. If you're in the mood for a crime mystery thriller, then this is the show for you. Great, great writing, and there's something lgbtq going on between the 2 main characters......

Chinese:

1) The Untamed. Again, if you've followed me since at least 2020, you'll probably know how unhinged I am about this show. Magic, bRomance, political intrigue, sword fights - you name it, she's got it.

2) Word of Honor. The last few episodes felt rushed, but I still loved the show to bits. Highly recommend.

3) My Fair Princess. The classic Chinese drama. I like it because of the nostalgia associated with it, but it's a pretty great show regardless.

4) We Best Love. First season has strong writing, and the second season has some delicious angst. The brain rot this show gave me. Ugh.

Thai:

1) Enchante. This show got a lot of hate for reasons I don't understand, but this show got me through some pretty dark times, so it'll always be special to me. I love how the MC has many of the traits typically associated with the love interest (e.g., is rich, has a fancy car). And the characters are just charming to me. I also just loved watching the episodes week by week and having something to look forward to.

2) Not Me. In the mood to watch people fight injustice and rebel against a corrupt establishment? Then this is the BL for you. Gun is also just a great actor and makes any show worth watching.

3) Bad Buddy. I had some major issues with this show (as I often do with shows directed by Aof, like Tale of a Thousand Stars), but there are scenes that make Bad Buddy a really enjoyable, good show (as there often are with shows directed by Aof).

4) KinnPorsche. Another really fun one concerning the mafia. And lots of gay romance.

5) Between Us. This is a spin off to Until We Meet Again, but can be watched on its own. Great character and relationship development.

6) Step by Step. This one had SO much potential, but it missed the landing. Still, I had a great time watching it. Watching it as it first aired also made the experience memorable to me, so I'm probably biased because of it.

7) Only Friends. Dysfunctional group of friends who are going thru it. The show can be summed up by the phrase "the girls are fightinggggg". There are a couple of writing choices towards the end that I disliked, but I still enjoyed this messy bitch.

ETA: 8) My School President. A great show! Felt like I was watching an anime.

I also watch some Indian movies but not dramas, so I won't include them here. This list is already long enough as it is lol.

I hope some of these catch your interest and suit your taste! I would love to hear about it if you decide to watch any of it 💖

[mihai-florescu]

You occasionally mention revue starlight, what is it about? Do you recommend?

Ahh im actually doing a rewatch/introducing a friend to it these days, yes i very much recommend^^ As for what it's about, i dont want to spoil much as i think part of the charm is in getting to witness these things firsthand and then going back with a deeper understanding, but basically it's about these 9 girls aiming to become top stars. But if you were to ask me a few things i enjoy in it (while i try to be vague), the competitiveness of theatre treated seriously, the story exists because the audience wants to see it, taking hold of and changing fate, and the admiration in the bonds between the characters. I love you and our performance so much i am going to keep us suspended reliving it forever to protect you from any pain or disappointment of the future and what it holds. But that is not a fulfilling story, the audience gets bored, another protagonist is called upon to disrupt the stage. Also theres a talking giraffe voiced by kujo i7's VA. Is that not enough... ah i havent mentioned it has literal fights for the title of top star overseen by the giraffe and it's a musical. Basically it's like if pmmm utena and *add an all girls aiming to be stars franchise of your choice* had a child together.

I have only watched the anime and films so i cant tell you anything about the plays or game im afraid but i find it a worthwhile story even if you only watch these ones.

My favorite girls are Nana and Mahiru if you'd like to pay extra attention and empathize with them as well^^

[justlemoney]

From your character ask game for the Cars movies! Zero obligations to answer, but I myself love doing these.

Im not going to send you a character. Ill ask you instead to pick two for yourself under certain criteria.

1) A character that you were inatantly drawn to on your first watch. The character that ultimately and initially became your favourite.

2) A character grew on you over time and over several reruns of the movie(s). Also please tell me why this occured. It fascinates me.

Brace yourself, theres a few!

1

2

3

10

12

13

16

18

20

21

22

24

25

26

Im so sorry I cannot remember what they were! I just wrote down the numbers. Love your blog!

Alrighty! This is gonna be fun, also I love this request- thank you so much honestly (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

Characters I have chosen (it's 3, I couldn't decide on the first criteria, so this is gonna be quite a long post):

For the first criteria we have Strip 'The King' Weathers and Finn McMissile

And for the second criteria we have Francesco Bernoulli.

-> When I first watched the second movie of the Cars-Trilogy I mainly focused on the whole espionage thing that was going on, and less on the World Grand Prix racing. Therefore I didn't pay much attention to the other racers individually. And at first I did not like Francesco at all. He reminded me too much of Lightning, when Lightning was a rookie and I didn't like that. Bernoulli gave me, as mentioned, similar vibes as rookie Lightning, the vibes of the whole 'being a one-man-kind of show' thing. Francesco came across as a cocky, flirtatious, over confident character with a high ego. (At least for me ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ)

But after I rewatched the movie several times, I started to like him more. (Well and maybe some fanfictions had their influence as well-) I began to think more about him, about his way on and off the track, his relations and so on. I saw that, despite his seemingly high ego, he is indeed a kind soul. For example how he seems to like the fact that his mother is his 'biggest/greatest' fan, and he is open about that too. I have a feeling some other racers would be embarrassed to see their family members, especially their mother, cheering for them. But he doesn't mind it. (Alright- this turned out longer than expected-) ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・��▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

NOW- let's get going with the rest of your 'Character Asks' request (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

I am gonna go in the following order for each number: Strip Weathers, Finn McMissile, Francesco Bernoulli

1) My first impression of them

-> A racer with great potential, that is also blue and works for an agency with a Dino as a logo. (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

-> Uiii cool looking, normal, spy guy. Actually, scratch that- a wild traumatized appeared (Pokemon reference intended)

-> Rookie Lightning McQueen but make him Italian and take away his fenders

2) When I think I truly started to like them

-> When he told off Lightning at the beginning of Cars 1. No elaboration.

-> Right at the start of Cars 2, due to the whole entire chasing scene.

-> After rerunning the movie several times, and fanfiction-

3) A Song that reminds me of them

-> 'Gossip' by Måneskin

-> 'Set it off' by Skillet

-> 'Iconic' by Simple Plan

10) Describe the character in one sentence

-> Silly country boi that loves racing and his wife (and sponsor.) ⊂⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠⊂⁠)

-> Bisexual- I am sorry- British secret spy agent with trauma.

-> Italian racer that is shamelessly flirting (and in love) with McQueen

12) Sexuality hc!

-> Bisexual or Unlabeled (already mentioned in another ask)

-> Gay- Bisexual ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ

-> *clap clap, finger guns* Pan. (⁠☞⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠☞

13) Your favorite friendship they have

-> Him and Tex/Him and Junior

-> Him and Tomber

-> Him and McQueen

16) A childhood headcanon

-> Never liked playing/interacting with other kids

-> Grew up somewhere in Germany

-> Used to steal- eh I mean borrow, Mama Bernoulli's cosmetics

18) How do you think they were as a kid?

-> Shy and reserved, didn't know how to connect with others around him

-> Bubbly and happy, always in action, until some trauma happens (Explanation in 22)

-> Outgoing and enthusiastic, loved to brag about Mama Bernoulli's delicious food (he still does that)

20) A weird headcanon

-> Had a goth/punk phase as a teen. (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

-> Once needed to plan a wedding for a Spy-Mission, as part of a cover

-> He knows how to knit and sew. (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) Mama taught him (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

21) When do you think they were at their happiest?

-> Whenever he is/was on the track or with Lynda/Tex, and later on whenever Cal or Junior are around, oh and when he met Doc Hudson (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

-> Training Academy with Leland and when he was/is with Mater/Holley and or Tomber

-> Also while racing, around his fellow racers (The other WGP racers), and of course when he is with his Mama

22) When do you think they were at their lowest?

-> When he crashed at the Tiebreaker race, and during middle school

-> After his mother's death, and later when Leland passed

-> After a harsh break up, and unlucky for him, his Mama was very ill at the same time too (she got better of course)

24) What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone

-> He once wanted to commit. (I'm sorry, I'm dumping so much trauma on the poor guy) Never told anyone. Not even his parents found out. Not even Lynda or Tex know, he keeps that secret to himself and he will take it with him into his grave.

-> He will never tell anyone, how exactly his mother passed, only he knows the real reason and he is gonna keep it that way

-> He used to eat flowers when he was bored, and occasionally he still does that. Of course he isn't gonna tell anyone, his Mama doesn't know either

25) When do you think they acted the most ooc?

-> When he met Doc for the first time and was alone with him. I don't know what kind of hyperfixation suddenly hit him, but he suddenly became all excited and bubbly. I mean his Idol was in front of him. (I am sorry I couldn't think of any movie scene that seemed ooc for him)

-> That one scene in Cars 2 in Japan, where he fought with some of the lemons. There is this one scene, one split second, where he was shocked to suddenly be rammed

-> Also in Japan, during the race on the dirt part of the track. We all know he lost his momentum there due to not knowing how to properly drive in dirt. That was the one moment his self-confidence/his ego took damage.

26) When do you think they were being 'themselves' the most?

-> Honestly, on the track, with Lynda and Tex, with other friends, with his nephew and so on

-> Around Leland/Tomber, and with Mater/(Holley)

-> With his fellow WGP racers, especially with Lightning

AND DONE (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

This was fun to write, took me about an hour plus and I loved it! (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

Thank you so much for this, it really got me into my thoughts and just- thank you! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

[shewholovestoread]

GYEONGSEONG CREATURE PART 1 - THE OVERVIEW (PART 1 OF 2)

Good news: I finished Gyeongseong Creature Part 1 last night, in one sitting.

Bad news: Now I have to wait till the 5th of January for the remaining episodes.

Plot: Based in Korea in the 1940s while it struggles under the Japanese occupation, a group of people enter a hospital to look for someone only to discover that a missing person is the least of their concerns with a literal monster on the rampage.

Cast: Park Seo-joon, Han So-hee, Wi Ha-joon, Kim Soo-hyun (Claudia Kim), Jo Han-chul, Kim Hae-sook, Ji Woo, Im Chul-soo, Choi Young-joon

The Overview

I went into this show pretty blind outside of the basic gist of the plot, I expected a run-of-the-mill creature feature and the show definitely delivers in that respect but it also gives us characters worth rooting for even if they don't always agree with each other and strong and complex women across the spectrum.

I know there are some who are a little annoyed about the shorter season (10 episodes instead of the usual 16-episode season) and while I understand the frustration, I think the shorter season was the only way to handle a story like this.

Another thing that is a little frustrating is the decision to split the season into 2 parts, so part 1 dropped with 7 episodes and the remaining 3 episodes will drop on the 5th of January. I knew about the split going into part 1 and.... I don't hate it. The way part 1 ends makes it bearable. It's not quite a cliffhanger (on the cliffhanger scale, this was positively kind) And that way I can do a full rewatch and then watch part 2, making it a more complete experience.

There is no respite in this show, once the story gets going and it gets going pretty quickly, there is no break in the tension. There are no filler episodes. The pace is also consistent throughout all 7 episodes, so it feels more like a very long, stressful film instead of a 7-episode show and I think that works in its favour.

The narrative is also very streamlined, we have very clear narrative arcs that we're following. The first episode opening voice over can be a little tedious but this is an original show (as in not based on a webcomic), so I could deal with that. The writer has done a great job balancing the time they spend with the people inside the hospital and those outside, coupled with competing motives even when people are seemingly on the same side. And the fact that all of this easy to follow is no small feat. This is one of the tightest, most cohesive shows I've seen in a while.

Gyeongseong Creature has one of the most visually striking opening credits and it's worth paying attention to. Outside of the visual appeal, there are a lot of clues/foreshadowing to be found there. The credits also add to the unsettling atmosphere of the show. 10/10.

The show takes place in Korea under the brutal Japanese occupation. I suggest paying attention to the language the characters use (Korean vs Japanese) because it can really give you insight about the character or the context of the conversation. When you're watching the show, there are conversations, where if you're not paying attention, you won't understand why the atmosphere is so charged. To live in a place, where the mere act of speaking in your own language could mean getting brutally beaten became an act of rebellion. It adds a whole other level of nuance and I loved that.

The show also doesn't shy away from the cruelty of the Japanese occupation, the sheer callous way that the local population was treated. It also brings in the medical experiments that the Japanese scientists conducted on the local people (both in China and Korea) Their attitude is perhaps the most chilling (I was cheering when the monster got loose)

It also makes you question who the monster actually is, the literal monster (the person who was turned without their consent) or the people facilitating this, the ones conducting these 'experiments'. Everyone from children to old people were fair game in their twisted quest for progress.

More in Part 2.

[koholintnightmare]

finished a (partial) rewatch of the 1.1a anime

yes, they made some things different but i didnt really pay much attention at the time. mostly because i wasnt as in Deep as i am now

i am going crazy with new context/info from playing the other games since the anime aired. will be jotting down whatever the fuck i think of as i think of it

rest under a cut because im a bit Uhhhh

futaba and yotsuba in a2s flashback making it seem like theyre gonna go with the route where a2 meets the red girls and show their meeting in part 2?

i said this^ as a joke recently because i forgot a lot of what happens in the anime, but. in the last episode of the anime, i thought she said "entertain us, 9s" but no. she fucking says "entertain us, no.9" meaning that they KNOW about what the original no.9 did and his relation to 9s and how theyre going to activate the virus backdoor to further their plans

the fast glitchy scenes at the end that show 9s being killed by 2b, implying we'll see one of his 48 executions

he also had a previous glitchy moment where a weird memory overlaid itself on top of 2b as he looked at her in the present, making it seem like he remembered her killing him before

that memory was near the shopping center, and the final scenes of the anime were also at the shopping center. wondering how far theyll take this and show every time shes killed him

the church mod of course but adam having access to WCS victims and just??? keeping them there???

one of them looked like brother nier???????

the fucking hexcodes

im going insane with the hexcodes

the church mod, while i havent played it, apparently put the statues of the intoner sisters from drakengard 3 in the background. haha, neat detail right.

BUT with yoko taros decision to include church mod into the anime and also be aware of it, he could have some Fun with the anime. he did already specify that itd differ from the game

The Fucking Hexcodes are actual messages with reports about the androids (collective) and their fight against the machines

but as it goes on, the way theyre written sounds more and more like another individual who Records things

"Record", "Report", "Old World", "Magical Weapons", "Timeline "Branch", "Divergence", "Singularity"

Gee I Wonder What Other Observatory Android Talks Like Tha iiiiits fucking accord. Its Accord. Accord is watching the automata timelines and their branches now.

a drakengard character is in automata and seems to be More Involved (to the limits of an observer, at least?) rather than just some flyers related to her shop, and an npc mentioning her

WILL WE GET ACCORD IN AUTOMATA-- WAIT THIS IS NOW GOING OFF

i juST REMEMBERED THAT IN TJE 1.3AA PLAY WHICH IS BASED ON A2S BACKSTORY BUT THE BOYS VERSION, THEY HAD ACCORD? ACCORD WAS IN THAT. ACCORD IS ALREADY INVOLVED IN AUTOMATA.

UHHHHH. SHIT WELL ANYWAY CONTINUING FROM THAT. pascals despair is going to be worse this time because instead of the kids having a group death, they seemed to be eating each other instead

devola and popola backstory and their exile due to the actions of the other units who failed project gestalt

probably more references to replicant as a whole??? considering the flashbacks they put in? they also showed angelus impaled on Tokyo tower but i missed that part of the rewatch. i only watched a few episodes w my friend and missed that

literally EVERYTHING going on with the change from adams death to eves death???? seeing adam become more fleshed out as a character as he is based around hate, realizing his brother meant everything, LOSING said brother, and then going berserk while also indulging in the hatred hes so obsessed with. be it towards other machines, the androids, or himself for allowing himself to miss sight of his own treasure (eve)

my brain is fizzing out and my hands ar estarting to hurt because of how much i typed and how cold it is but. holy shit i am obsessed. its so good. it all just keeps going. and going. and going

[gettingfrilly]

Hello, sorry if this is random but I was wondering if you could give some advice for writing fanfics? I’m pretty new to writing them, and feel very unconfident about my writing skills.

oh gosh, im flattered you think im a good person to go to for advice with this. I'll do my best to say something helpful.

General writing tips:

Read! and not just fanfics. it's the second best way to improve your craft overall.

Write! this is the number one best way to improve your writing. practice practice practice, even if you're not going to upload it anywhere. even just sitting down to write a few paragraphs of whatever comes to mind is good practice.

Be intentional in your writing. Why did you have that character say that? why did you use that adjective as opposed to another? why did you structure that sentence in that manner? what are you trying to get across to your reader with your choices? Think of yourself as controlling a spotlight for a play that the reader's eyes and thoughts have to follow along with.

use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. too many simple sentences makes your prose choppy, but too many compound and complex sentences makes it hard to keep track of what's going on. think of simple sentences as giving the reader's brain a break. simple sentences can also be used for dramatic impact or to draw attention to something important, especially if you put it in the middle of or right after a long winded sentence or group of sentences.

Show AND tell, and be intentional about why you're doing one over the other for a particular scene. Showing is better for imagery and making a scene vivid or dramatic, telling helps you tighten up the pace of a story. it's not too dissimilar from why you should use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.

motivation motivation motivation. What motivates your characters? why are they saying what they're saying and doing what they're doing? Keep those motivations consistent, and their methods of obtaining what they want consistent, or at the very least changing in a way that makes sense for their character growth.

Read it out loud. Reading what you write out loud to yourself is a great way to notice not just spelling and grammatical errors, but where your writing flows well and where it doesn't.

Fanfic tips:

Stay familiar with the source material. rewatch, reread, replay. pay close attention to how everyone's characterized, and refer back to those canon characterizations in your writing. If your characters are in an AU or aged up or down, make sure their characterization still makes sense when you take the source material into consideration.

that being said, don't be afraid to take some artistic license! fanfics exist to give fans something other than the source material to chew on. showing how their characterization would change in different circumstances and settings is part of the fun.

practice mindfulness and self affirmations, i am dead serious. putting something you crafted out into the world is so super vulnerable. be aware of any feelings this brings up, don't judge yourself for having those feelings, and then practice letting those feelings go. remind yourself that no matter what your skill level, every single time you write something, you are still practicing and learning new things. this is true of every writer ever. also i supes promise that if you post something no one ends up engaging with, you will still live to write another day. remember, a human being can survive anything short of being flattened by a steam roller.

that's all i got! would appreciate people adding onto this as sometimes i am but a potato smacking itself against a keyboard. again im super flattered you'd come to me for advice, ty for your interest in my writing <3

[fishingjelly]

that's my thing too like i'll probably come to like it. but hm.. idk man the treatment of hyuna in the end is probably gonna take a lot for me to forgive. i need like sixty comics focusing on her mayhaps.

i need to lock in and buy more merch sooo bad. i've been into alnst since early 2023 and i have barely nada 😭 ur hyuna shrine is srsly admirable. if only shipping wasn't so egregious.

for mizi and me... we might need to break out the ouija board and contact her other gf, sua, for all that bc my oc/yumesona is part of the rebellion so it's kinda hashtag awkward rn. i haven't made any major changes to my yume lore since all-in. i've only doodled her from r6 onwards. everytime i think of something i feel like the Inserting my oc is it noticeable meme LIKE NOOOOO. but dying w hyuna is so real i hope you two rest easy. luka can just go... over there ig.

AND HELPP ur going through it omg 😭😭 almost every fandom im in minus alnst is DEAD so i'm safe for too much pain. - 🐑

also comments but HAAAAIII sugaarkeii!!! i barely see any yumes for the girl alnst characters.

omg okay no i know what you mean completely about merch 😭😭😭

before i met my friend, i was a Mercari warrior and spent soooo much on merch at first. it’s sickening trying to get stuff secondhand that ISNT scalped, though ik another people had it worse bc the fav tax on ivan and luka ??? absolutely insane. hyuna … no one paid too much attention to her pre-wiege so getting merch for her wasn’t too bad but still…

once i met my friend and she invited me into her little friends only group for group orders life became so much easier 😭😭😭😭 just paying base price + my little shared quarter of shipping ?? heaven. that’s why i ended up with so much merch 😭😭😭as soon as smth comes out im like ouuuuuu… Let me get this and this 💃

n yes i would like to see hyuna comics… but according to a fan it seems like a till pov comic is coming up 🤔

the tweet from a kr fan who went to an autograph session:

tbh this was also wayyy overdue so i’m not mad and i am very seated cuz moving on after all the horrors?? i wonder how he did it

omg also my yume is apart of the rebellion too (who’s shocked) our yumes are friends trust 🤞 I DO FEEL LIKE THAT MENE SOMETIMES BUT LWK WHATEVER IM CRINGE AND IM FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no one will shame me on MYYYY phone that i pay for on the WiFi that IIIIII pay for idgaf

idk luka can join probably but like 4ft away don’t die too close to us man we’re having a moment

I need to update my lore because im torn between they die together or she survives and she’s carrying on hyuna’s work… ugh decisions decisions…. Damn i kinda wanna do a hyuna death piece, I already had wiege drafted but it hurt me too bad to finish bc I always rewatch mvs to get into the View to write but good lord I could not do it yet 😭 maybe soon

i am kinda curious tho what’s ur yume lore 🤔 and how does ur yume feel w a dead gf in law and a missing gf…

woke up today to my fav driver who went from 19th to DNF and his car catching on fire (he’s fine) it truly is one thing after another after karma

BUT STILL WE PREVAIL!!!! im def getting those alnst watches so I should really hop back on twt and clock into arguing with people again

hope you’re taking care of yourself 🫶 sorry sheep anon I love yapping LMFAO

[whitecriminalcastle]

I am getting closer and closer to the end of season 20 and I want to cry as I get closer to the end of Mike & Connie

Yeah to be honest there was a lot of episodes of fleshing out Cutter's character a bit, softening him. Watching Brazil the storyline broke my heart but when Mike is questioning the dad at the end, the emotion.

I also noticed a possible little easter egg in Brazil for Linus, there is an england jacket on his coat rail when he takes his coat off to hang it up.

I also like the little hinty lines we have had in episodes post 20x09- in Innocence the when the man says "Two gay men can be affectionate without it being sexual just like you too (two?)" and Four Cops shot- the mum saying "do you have children?" and the little looks

I just found an old interview with Alana announcing pregnancy and her saying that the last episode all the cast were saying "this is the party where Connie gets pregnant" so really it had to be Mike...surely....Alana was a shipper so it would have really made sense.

They just need to bring them back for a couple of cases, popping in with their kid who would be a teenager now.

Or like you said get linus to go in to FBI, Alana and Linus obviously got along very well and I don't think he is in Billy the kid anymore so yeah get him Dick Wolf...get him.

Also loooook https://www.tumblr.com/callie-charlotte/117491831411/liferuining-ships-mike-cutterconnie-rubirosa?source=share

I think that Mike has more cenric episodes than the rest, not that I'm complaining 🤣🤣. That episode is pure emotion and the last part specially.

I didn't notice the jacket, it's really subtle, or maybe it's me that I'm not into sports so I don't pay attention to that kind of things.

I rewatched that part (20x16) and Connie makes a face when he says that line, and then looks to Mike. I think I never noticed that... maybe I need to do another rewatch.

What interview?do you have the link?. That is what I thought when I read that they planned to write in Alana's pregnancy, that party definitely had an after party for two. I would've loved for them to write this into the show https://www.tumblr.com/marionsravenwoods/725839939130032128/yall-alana-is-pro-cutterosa-im-i-always-say?source=share

Do you think they would've had a boy or a girl? I think a mini Connie, the looks of her mother and the personality of her father.

They tend to cast the same actors on the Wolf-universe so maybe is time for Linus to make an appearance on FBI

That drawing is too cute, I've never seen that before.

[sunsunsunandsun]

Apr 30

Im on call w my sister her husband and my cousin because i decided to stop eating and get distracted in my room all day Because my Ed is controlling my life the first week of summer. I should've prepared better for this. Alternate note, learn to be okay with my body food and public perception.

That's not really an option. I'm sure no one follows me here, so this will just be the outpourings of a strange girl in summer, 2024. I have one month to myself (one month to make it all right- to bring it to the start where we need to be). I should try starting to read philosophy without an ink of an idea. Maybe that's where true intellectualism comes from, than the pseudo. I wonder how the summer's going to go. Tomorrow doesn't look so bright. But it's okay. Or something I keep thinking what the significance of an ed in my life means Maybe control or something probably

I'm rewatching Mr Robot. It feels so beautiful and real. I just realized it was released 2015, and a decade later its' truth is similarly pervasive. Too much so. I'm sure I'm Tyrell Wellick. Something strikes a familiar chord of taste in myself watching him, and seeing him but it can be indicative of nothing more than a long-strung web between capitalism and perfection and status. The last, which in this society, ultimately means acceptance. It ties back to community. It holds hands with the age-old truth, that humans need connection and love to exist.

Watching a system who throws up into the sky and sticks a translation of the modern world's technologies, warping into real-life dances of desperation and conviction. It's supposed to inspire, tell me. Oh my gosh these people are keeping me on call and I can't continue thinking here. Something horrible about choosing to be in thought than experience reality- something about looking at everything instead of getting more. I'm blatantly unperfect. I don't know why exactly everything in life feels peeled off. Laptop dying. This call is getting annoying. Why can't everyone leave me alone to think and recorrect? Why can't everyone just let me focus on being my own perfect. Why can't everyone

So that's it. The sad life I attracted here now in Miami. My shoulder hurts annoying. I don't want Xiomara to text me, I did, I thought I did, but now it's just one of those moments I'd just want everyone to avert their eyes from. Look away from Katheryne's crazy breaks. Look away from the famed eating disorder who keeps grabbing your wide hips into safety. Something like that I wonder if one day I'll get over this, or it will come back over and over every time I slip. I think I'll always remember myself insisting that how I look matters more than having fun or talking to friends or people who love you or spending time with them or anything. This call is hitting an hour. I just want to continue watching my show oh my gosh I probably should've never picked up. Oh WOW MY PHONE Just died this is great. That was freeing. I should call back, but I won't. This'll be another ugly photo for the books of my personality and behavior. I'm forgoing my summer goals. But does any of it matter if I don't like how I look. I looked at myself for the first time in my old Snaps, I really was small. I didn't even ever realize. All the time, it looked ten times more normal than my transformation into the other. I sobbed in front of the mirror in underwear and hyperventilated over my cards. Things are going down. It's okay. Give it a week and it'll be okay. One thing about me, I will lose weight. I will go into deficit I'll stop eating I'll stop paying attention I'll stop talking I'll stop being go lucky, Ill

I've gone crazy, I know this I admit it here, though if you asked me and I like you- if I trust you, I'll tell you the truth. But while it happens, I don't want anyone near looking. Let's keep things quiet, let's keep them away and we'll come back. I'm falling into an obsession of who I have to be before my internship. The tight hand of fear, from not being the correct fit, to falling out and losing money, holding hands with consequences of programs, all boiling down to stability. I think the correct answer is go with the flow. The flow constricts me. The bend can be wide arms across and I'll still get choked up in some neck of it. My writing is so subpar I need to see. A therapist. For how inane the words that string together are. Sometimes most of all, in an attempt to throw creativity, I hit grammar with the backend of my wheel, of this stalling vehicle. It's all drawing lines to my limbs and sticking into me at weird angles. I'm on my period, but I wouldn't blame this. It's been on its way. Actually, I should thank it for getting here for marking me focus on what matters. Do you know how boring restricting life because of your body, makes the real world boring for you and everyone around you? Highly boring. I give into it because, I don't really want to live life any other way. I want things lined up and I want their scent to elicit success. I have an awful feeling I'd drown, any other way. My writing is boring and it drones, tripping over its continuous ideas and frames of pessimism and fear. I was snappy with my parents, who are good to me. I'm a flat out mess. 9 30 PM

[randomositycat]

Artist/animator brain telling me to pick apart each episode for subtle differences in comparison to the show as a whole

What seems like it could be on model and what feels like it was pushing boundaries to developing a semi-new style for the anime

Rant under cut bc hi I do this a lot in my head,, and I could go through each episode and pick them apart but I've got e 17 on the brain so we'll stick with that for now and maybe I'll check out the older ones later

I only bring it up now bc,, well I didn't want to before

In e 17 (since it's the one freshest in my brain) the art differences I notice are purely in the chibi style, and minorly in the closer shots of characters

This shot specifically feels like it belongs to a different show! But still suuper super cute all the same!

And we go back to something more fitting with the other similar style shots from previous episodes! Not to say that it's all and all the same style every time, but again the differences are subtle and you have to look very closely to even say "huh, that's a bit different!"

I also noticed that usually they don't skip out of drawing fingernails? which sure most animes dont but it feels different here? If that makes sense,,

They really upped their detail game compared to other episodes! all the little things that pain me to even think about doing as an animator! The work put into some of these shots is super impressive! They even shaded the fake mole?? Come on!! The idea of doing what they've down with these shots makes me tired,, kudos to the artists for having the nerve

The fingernails stand out the most to me bc there is so much detail in them!

From the cuticle to the beautiful lighting and shading when she was applying make up to his face (I don't have a gift sorryyy 😣)

And we already know the eyes are beautiful, but my favorite attention to detail is Jinshi's eyes. Maomao never fails to comment on his beauty, and artistically it shows as much, emphasizing it to no end really, but he's so subtly feminine that I find myself studying his eyes quite a bit! His long eyelashes really draw you in...

You can see they dulled it down a little, for his Jinka disguise, but even then he's got such gentle eyes that could easily be mistaken for a woman's if he were to hide his face :) (looking at you Hunting arc, missed a chance! I'll tell you!)

Maomao's expressions in this episode really take the cake too LOL

There's no shortage of good maomao faces, especially not here >:)

As each new episode releases I'm just soooo enamored with how steady the improvement is! Artists finding their rhythm with the characters and sprinkling little things here and there that can go unnoticed but definitely enhance a shot! It's amazing!

And it brings me to talk about e4 which yes I agree is gorgeous animated, but im someone who prefers consistency rather than quality in my animated shows

(quality is good yes but to go from very fluid to standard fluid is jarring to say in the least)

I adore the fluidity in e4, obsessed with it. I was under the impression that an entirely different director + team was in charge (I wasn't wrong abt the director)

My favorite bits have to be the expressions,

And how each movement feels less like a show and more like a movie, like we got a spontaneous budget increase for this episode alone!

Lip syncing too, REALLY on point! I love angry Maomao and I'm a sucker for lip syncing any time!! When she was scolding Lihua's lady in waiting, the animators really hit every keyframe on the nose! (generally makes e4 dub a bit of a hassle for me to watch) I rewatch the sequence again and again because of how well done it is :) a spectacular moment indeed

Another episode with really fluid moments is episode 10, I think 🤔 when she confronts Lady Lishu about Fengming. The entire scene is wonderfully done, with Lishu's expressions and her ladies-in-waiting being excited to talk to Jinshi :) all things I gladly pay attention to

All in all the show has a gorgeous art direction 😊 I hope they continue to enhance it little by little with subtle things like everything i mentioned above

Makes an artist's heart flutter thinking about the dedication and care put into its production