#another negative is that i have to go to whole foods after picking up my dad from watching the last 49er game of the season lmao

[deklo]

got the worst headache i’ve had in ages. no quiero..

[silverstagspirit]

Survivor of Ramshackle - Part 3

Part three is here!

Warnings: corpses, burial, mild panic attack for Grim, angst.

PART 2 PART 4

---

Grim was attending another unbirthday party with Ace and Deuce. He did not like any of these snobby rules. Yet here he was. The very morning after Yuu left, no less. The one upside was that he was chowing down on some tarts that Trey baked. They tasted amazing. The strawberries felt like they were dancing on his tongue.

*Drop*

A sudden wave of dread washed over Grim. Causing him to freeze. His whole body was paralyzed. And his mind kept telling him that something was wrong. It was a terrible, horrible feeling of wrongwrongwrongWRONGWRONG-

"Oi! Grim!"

"Hnngh!?"

He was back at the unbirthday party. Only this time, Ace and Deuce were looking at him.

"What's the matter with you? It's not like you to drop food."

Grim looked down and saw the rest of his slice of tart abandoned on the grass.

"Oh no! My tart!"

"NO GRIM! What have we told you about eating stuff of the- and he's already munching on it."

"We should know better by now, Ace."

He looked at Grim eating his tart.

"Why did you even drop it in the first place? I thought you were like, super protective of food."

Grim stopped eating and looked up at him.

"I dunno. I just had this bad feeling wash over me, and I just couldn't move."

"What do you mean by "bad feeling"."

"I told you I don't know. But I just got a thought that something bad had happened. Something REALLY bad."

"I'm sure you're just remembering an assignment you forgot about, and now you know that Trien's going to have your hide."

"Am not!"

The day would go on normal from there. But Grim would still have questions as to what that feeling was.

-

Yuu was bumping into things as they floated. Learning how to use this new form was tricky. Having magic now (or at least something akin to it) would be a big thing to adjust to. For now, they stayed on the ground. Thier body feeling lighter than ever.

'I wonder if I can run', they thought.

They picked up the pace a little bit. When they thought they could handle more, they went a bit faster. This continued until they had broken into a full-blown sprint.

'That's weird. I've never been able to run this fast before.'

Yuu began to sprint faster and faster until even the wind couldn't catch up to them.

'Oh my gosh! I feel alive!'

Taking it to the next level, they jumped up. They flew half a dozen feet into the air. This made them panic.

"Wooaoah!!"

'I've never jumped this high before!'

They thought they would collide with the ground but were surprised when they didn't feel anything. When they opened their eyes, they were still floating in the air. They were confused, but when they imagined themselves floating safely to the ground, it actually happened.

'Neat,' Yuu thought as they stepped forward experimentally.

Yuu looked back at the phantom behind them.

It was burying bodies. The middle head using it's snout as a shovel while the left head picked up the corpses and put them in the holes. The third head was also helping with bodies, but it was not as good at it as the left head.

Yuu looked at the phantom doing its job. Before they could take revenge, they needed to have this creature on their side. They couldn't go anywhere without it.

So they walked up to it and started helping them bury bodies.

As they were doing this, they started to wonder, why was the phantom doing this? These things are dangerous, evil beings. So why wasn't this thing destroying everything?

They said that phantoms came from when a Mage was using too much magic on top of feeling intense negative emotion. Said negative emotions manifested as that phantom. This phantom formed when Yuu was experiencing extreme grief at the loss of their race.

That and there was nothing left here for them to destroy.

So Yuu just never said a word to it and helped them bury the dead.

-

Yuu helped their phantom with the burials all day. When the sun went down, that was when they stopped to rest. After all, you can't stay up past sundown when there is no electricity for light.

When they began falling asleep, they noticed that the extra long sleeves they wore would wind around their waist and tighten like a straight jacket. This felt like a hug, so they didn't mind. And it helped them sleep better.

Waking the next morning, when the sun rose, they set out with their phantom to continue the burials.

Body after body

Person after Person

Yuu felt numb whilst doing all this. But they still did it. Burying people they have known for years. People they didn't know. People who had barely begun life.

This went on for some time. They stopped counting the days. It must have been almost a week by now.

Yuu had thought about naming the phantom. They couldn't just keep calling them by 'their phantom'.

"Hey you!"

The phantom turned its heads towards them with the middle one snarling.

"Can I give you a name?"

That made the creature go quiet and look at them with interest. Yuu searched through the mental list of names they had made.

"How about Ragnarok?"

That made the creature growl at them displeased. They thought of another one.

"Ghidorah?"

Once again, the creature growled displeased. Yuu was actually kind of relieved at this. Because they weren't exactly fond of that name either.

"Doom?"

The phantom made a crackling-chittering noise at this. Yuu thought they made it mad, so they closed their eyes, waiting for pain to come. Instead, they felt something wet and squishy brush over them. Yuu opened their eyes and saw that they were being licked by the middle head. They seemed pleased with that name. But Yuu was not quite finished yet. They still needed to give the three of them separate names.

"Okay, so that will be the name for all of you, but what about each of you?"

Doom's heads looked at each other.

They went through the list again. If Doom did not like Ghidorah, then they probably won't like Ichi, Ni, and Kevin either. They still offered it just in case. The two Phantom heads did not like those names for them. However, the third head on the right started licking them.

"You like the name Kevin?"

It chittered in response.

"So that settles your name. But what about you two?" Yuu thought over possible names. "Ying and Yang sound good." Doom's heads let out a satisfied huff.

"Cool! So that settles things."

They would need some more bonding before they could get Doom fully on their side. But they were willing to wait.

---

Sorry for the wait. It took me a while to figure out the plot for this part. I apologize for any mistakes. Thanks for reading.

Taglist: @kami-kun1003 @lemonandlime22

[harleyacoincidence]

Hello! And happy, Silly Sunday! (Which is something I just came up with because I'm bored,lol)

Today, your OCs/favorite characters will be doing something chaotic/silly!

Today, your OCs/favorite characters have decided to go and have a fun day at the fair.

Except there's a twist!

Not only have they decided to go to the fair, but they've also decided to go dressed up as their favorite characters from their favorite books/movies!

The rest is up to you!

Good luck!

And have fun!

Nice to see another ask from you! I like this idea, perhaps it should become a tradition among other writeblrs. It's good practice to write something fluffy with one's characters. For this one, I'll be using some of my OCs from an older WIP.

In terms of our cast list (featuring an author who got negative hours of sleep the previous night), we have:

Henriette Cellante

Idiot summoner of demons

Is in high school, therefore can do basic math

Has friends, surprisingly

Has assisted with a variety of murders without knowing

Enjoys the occasional chaos

Loves spending time with friends

Cisgender girl (she/her)

Ava Hollister

Henriette’s bestie (one of many)

Also is in high school

Quite popular at the school she goes to

Genuinely nice

Has not assisted with any murders (yet)

Oblivious to the existence of demons

Cisgender girl (she/her)

Olivia Hervey

Enjoys dyeing her hair

A high school student (everyone here goes to the same school)

Hangs out with Thomas and the gang frequently

Sells handmade soap (has given extras away for free to their friends)

Amazing fashion sense

Gives excellent advice

Demigirl (she/they)

Thomas Stolz

Theatre kid

Is in high school (who’s surprised at this point)

The most intentionally chaotic of the group

Prone to losing/damaging his glasses to be funny

Good with crowds

Somehow comes prepared with just the right thing for every situation despite not having the power of prophecy

Cisgender boy (he/him)

Alright, before we get into the chaos, we must decide which characters everyone dresses up as. Henriette would most likely go as the assistant of an artificer from her favourite book (I will explain this in another post). To match this, Thomas would dress as the artificer. Ava and Olivia would pick up on the theme and dress as the artificer’s sister and partner, respectively. Nobody at the fair would know who they were except for them, but this would just make the whole deal better (they love having inside jokes).

I could see everyone bringing their own money while being under the impression that nobody else had brought any. Upon finding out that the opposite was true, they’d pool their money together excitedly and proceed to go crazy with games and food.

They’d immediately go to one of those hunting games. Thomas would be the best at that, but would somehow manage to get his glasses knocked off by the gun. Olivia would have to catch them before they hit anything and shattered, since his parents are tired of replacing them.

Next would be some sort of whack-a-mole, which Henriette would absolutely crush everyone else in. She’d definitely pick up a plushie and take it with her upon winning.

Ava would have a blast with skee ball, hands down. It’s one of her favourite games.

Olivia would spend most of her tickets at a darts booth. While they wouldn’t be the champion at the fair, she would not give up until some sort of prize was hers. The poor person running the booth would be watching them for a long, long time.

After going through an assortment of other booths featuring things like ring toss, shell games, as well as guessing booths (I hate them so much), they’d just have to try some of the food offered there.

Henriette would love the lemonade and caramel apples.

Ava would enjoy the snow cones and friend cheese curds.

Olivia would definitely order cotton candy and churros.

Thomas would be the only one crazy enough to try deep fried butter and fried cookie dough. He might throw up after, depending on how much of the treats he’d eaten.

The group wouldn’t go around annoying other patrons or workers, but they would be sure to take plenty of selfies (especially around people who looked confused as to why they were dressed in costume). They might also go around in character, and if anyone gave them a weird look, they’d immediately up their acting game. Nobody who thought they were weird for a second would be safe.

Sorry that this is shorter than usual, I might update this later when I have more time. I loved this, as per usual!

[stacywaters]

Seeds of Hope (JHOPE) CH3 - What?!

I lean back in my chair and sigh as my chapter finally publishes. Two chapters done already! I close my Wattpad tab, get up and leave my apartment.

Exiting the building, I walk the crowded cement for a while before choosing a place to eat lunch. I walk up to the counter and order.

"Hello and welcome! What can I get for you today?" The cashier says.

"Hi! I would like a large fry and a medium drink, please."

"Coming right up!" She grabs a cup and hands it to me, "Here is your cup, go ahead and fill it up over there!"

She motions towards the soda fountain. I thank her and leave to fill up my cup. 

I gawk at all the options. I'm used to only water and coffee, but look at all the choices! Making my decision I reach for the Sprite dispenser, but another hand brushes against mine at the same time.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" I apologize, jumping out of the way.

"No no no it was my mistake! Please, you go first!" A voice all too familiar to me says.

"You first, I didn't realize how long I had been standing there. It must have been annoying," I say with a laugh as I lift my gaze.

"Wait... J-HOPE?" unknowingly I drop my cup. J-Hope had been standing there this whole time and I didn't even realize? His hand had even touched mine!

I bend down and pick up my cup whilst trying to hide my blushing face.

"Oh, you know me?" He stutters back to me.

"Y-yeah! I'm Army!" As if this situation couldn't get any more awkward, it had to be with my idol.

"Y-you're..." I pause, gathering up the courage to say what I'm about to say. "You're actually my bias."

"That's so cool!" He says enthusiastically, "I didn't think I had any fans, haha."

I can tell he's looking at me, but still I attempt to hide my face.

He starts to speak again, more nervous this time, "If that's the case, would you like to have lunch with me?"

✿

After we both receive our food, we pick a table and sit down.

"As you probably know already, I'm J-hope. You can just call me Hoseok, or oppa." He tells me, "Anyways, I realize I never asked you for your name!"

"O-oh!" I reply, still shocked at my current situation. "My name- I'm Stacy. Stacy Waters..."

"Stacy... I like it!" He says.

"Thank you!"

"That's not a Korean name though, where are you from?" He asks.

"I'm from the States" I answer. "But my eomma is Korean, so we moved here to be closer to her family."

"Oh really? Your Korean is really good though!"

"Haha, thanks. My eomma taught me a bit."

✿

We continue to talk as we eat our food. Even though we don't have a lot in common, we still enjoyed a nice conversation. I feel like we're good at opposite things, like how he's good at dancing and I have terrible rhythm. He's also a very hopeful person (like his name), whereas I tend to lean towards the more negative side of things. Despite this I felt like we got along great, if anything better because we're so different.

We talked long after we had both finished our food. Eventually, it was time to go.

"Wait..." Hoseok stopped as he searched the backpack he was carrying.

He pulled out a pen and started writing something on his receipt. After he finished he held it close to him and continued.

"I-I had a really good time today. It isn't often I get to talk to people outside the company." He took a deep breath before speaking again, "This is my phone number. I'd like to meet again... only if you want to, that is..."

"I'd love to." I took the paper from him and gently folded it before putting it in my back pocket.

He smiled at me, "Cool! Er- Thank you! Uh... See you again soon?"

I laughed at his awkwardness.

"Definitely."

[lemonbalmgirl]

Plague House Update, 3/22

I took my first COVID test last night, since we aren't sure when Roommate had the exposure that infected her. Currently, I'm testing negative.

Roommate's mom brought her Paxlovid from the doctor's yesterday and my mom brought us some essential groceries. Bless good moms!

Roommate feels a lot better today, though her voice is still mostly gone. She spiked a fever Monday night and while that went down some on Tuesday, she was still running warm and experiencing chills and complete lack of hunger.

The rest of this is just me having feels.

I think I touched base with everyone I interacted with over the weekend, aside from customers at the Saturday event (where I was masked and did remember to use at least some hand sanitizer). I'm dealing with a lot of guilt around potentially exposing friends, especially since it may fuck up some of their work opportunities.

I honestly can't remember if Roommate mentioned that the teacher she was subbing for tested positive on Saturday - I don't think she did (or maybe she didn't know until later Sunday) because I finished off some food she'd eaten her fill of and she would have said something usually.

If I'd known we'd had an exposure risk, I wouldn't have gone out on Sunday. I especially wouldn't have ridden in a vehicle and eaten with friends unmasked.

(Apparently it's also good that my mom helped me with groceries yesterday, because she informed her husband about the house's positive status and he banned her from coming back over until we're clear. This caused me a minor freak out, since all of my stuff for the booth is currently in my garage, "decontaminating" from being in the house. Mom was going to pick up Girlfriend tomorrow, come and get my stuff (Girlfriend would put stuff in and out of the car trunk), and drop them off at Booth Partner's place. Mom can still transport Girlfriend if needed. Luckily, my awesome friend Minnie is willing to shift her plans tonight and take stuff to Booth Partner's for me. Goddamn, good friends are fucking lifesavers.)

I really hope my booth partner keeps testing negative, since she's in her 70s and one of our biggest events is 2 weeks from this weekend. She's definitely becoming more anxious as time passes, which I understand, but this is also on top on how anxious she normally is before events. I hope Girlfriend can handle the weekend okay, though Booth Partner is pretty good about apologizing after she's had a freak out.

Later today, I'll be going over, well, everything about the booth with Girlfriend. I'll focus on going over the point-of-sale system, since Booth Partner always appreciates me mostly handling that part, even though she can do it herself when necessary. Luckily, Girlfriend has more familiarity with knives/blades than I do, so she should be quicker on the update than me with Booth Partner's wares.

The booth will be next to Booth Partner's roommate's booth, so I'm hoping that provides some grounding (though it may also just frustrate Booth Partner, since she and her roommate have very different ways of doing things). Another pair of friends are also vending at the event and Girlfriend has met/hung out with them before - they're going to check in on Girlfriend and Booth Partner for me and again, hopefully having familiar faces around will help some.

I'll have my phone by me all weekend, in case they need something, but I hate how useless I feel about the whole damn thing.

[payphoneangel]

HEHEHE 4 & 5 for Sam, 9 & 10 for Dean, and 14, 15, & 18 for Cas >:3c

Send me a character + a number and I’ll tell you my headcanons for them

DOHOHOHOH OKAY HELL YEAH

Sam (given the nature of these two i'm gonna b a little horny abt it lol) 4) Best places to kiss on their body: uhhhh first and foremost his cute lil pointy nose!! give that bad boy a hearty ~chu~ But if the kisser wants to really feel how they're affecting him I would say go along the jawline. He carries a lot of tension in his jaw and it would be fun to feel how that tension lessens/intensifies by being smooched. (Spicy version) I think starting at the hip and kissing down the V of his abdomen would be fun for all parties involved. 5) Guilty pleasures: Now this one is very fun bc has his whole obsession with purity and being 'clean' so there's a lot of things he doesn't allow himself to do. I def think one of his guilty pleasures is that he likes Chick fil a. He knows they're a super shitty homophobic corporation and he KNOWS he shouldn't support them AND a lot of the food on the menu is 'unhealthy' and something he can't eat bc of [insert w/e diet he's on this week] but he loves it. OH, how he loves it. It's his comfort food. He likes their special sauce and even when he tries to make it himself it never quite tastes right so he will occasionally buy food from there and then feel awful about it for like 3 days afterward. (Spicy version (warning for mentions of SA)) Ok so I think Sam has a lot of weird hangups about sex. Particularly, he feels weird about subbing. I do think he enjoys it, but where the guilt comes in is that he doesn't feel like he should enjoy it because of the ways in which his bodily autonomy has been jeopardized. It feels very strange to him to derive pleasure from a situation that resembles a context in which the circumstances were very dire for him. I think it's scary for him to give up that sense of control, but even scarier that he actually enjoys it. Since Sam has been known to diminish and trivialize his own trauma, I think subbing might make him slip into a spiral about if he 'actually was assaulted' bc if he enjoys it here how bad were the times when he was forced to submit to someone? I think he has a lot of trouble acknowledging himself as a victim, and I think enjoying subbing would make him think himself a """bad victim""" if he doesn't actively work to get out of that mindset. Because of that, I don't think he subs often, and only with someone he really really trusts, but I think he does really enjoy it and can even derive some catharsis from it.

Dean 9) Humiliating memories: ooooooooh ok now this one is a little tough bc Dean is constantly tormented by The Shame so it's hard to pick out a specific instance where he was definitely humiliated buuuuuut in my personal headcanon one of the most impactful times is his first solo hunt. More specifically, the situation leading up to Dean's first hunt. I mention it here, but essentially, John catches on to Dean having feelings for another boy, which scares the hell out of Dean. After disappearing for a few days (leaving Dean alone and sick to his stomach with anxiety for John's total lack of a reaction) he comes back to the motel, picks Dean up, and tells him to go do a salt and burn of two dead gay nuns. He does, but also internalizes the message John is sending: this is what happens to people like you. John picks him up afterward and never directly says what he's referring to, but tells Dean, "you need to be careful and not be selfish. Your stupid decisions could get you or even Sammy hurt." That, of course, makes Dean feel so astoundingly horrible, he can barely respond. It's why I am in the camp of 'Dean is painfully aware of his attraction to men, but rarely acts on it/never vocalizes it.' bc ^this memory, coupled with the homophobia of the 90's/00's makes Dean very wary of how he carries himself and the kind of """negative attention""" he wants to could attract, and how that could endanger himself/other people around him. 10) Fears/phobias: ok this could couple nicely with the thing i just talked about above but instead I'm going to go in an entirely different direction: DEAN IS (or should be) SCARED OF DOGS. It's honestly pretty wild to me that this really isn't touched on in canon. One of his most significant/narratively impactful deaths is when he was mauled by Hellhounds, and consequently dragged to Hell for 40 years. Canon like, farts in this direction sorta in s6 but it's really not talked about. Homeboy got sliced and diced by dogs!!! He should have some residual stuff about that!! Also I think it would be a point of contention between himself and Sam, Known Dog Lover. It's also why i'm team 'fuck that dog' from the finale. Although, it could be cathartic for him to have an esa/therapy animal be a dog, to rebuild trust.

Castiel 14) Ingrained habits/forces of habit: this one is SO fun for him bc there's so many possibilities with him being an angel. I think this manifests a lot as physical ticks/quirks from being an angel in a human vessel. I think a 'force of habit' of his is literally breathing. He really only needs to breathe in order to talk, but I think in early seasons he catches himself doing it all the time, as a leftover instinct from his human vessel. Later, he catches himself mirroring Dean's, Sam's and other people's breathing as he starts growing closer to humanity, before eventually just adopting breathing all the time. I think it also takes him a long time when he's human to get used to moving at a human speed. If he realizes he needs to go somewhere, his first thought is to fly, and he often has this moment of "why am I not there yet?" before realizing he needs to physically move his human body 🙄🙄🙄 I also think it would be really fun if, especially after first obtaining a vessel, he often speaks quietly because he is used to overwhelming humans with his True Voice. 15) What it takes to make them cry: 🤔🤔🤔 I think Cas is like, a medium-frequency crier (order of most to least likely to cry imo is Dean, Cas, Sam). I think he IS a happy crier and that's what most often causes him to cry; being overwhelmed by positive emotions (i.e. love for his family). I don't think he's normally an angry crier but I do think that when Jack died he should have 1) gone completely silent and stone faced 2) leveled like an entire forest in grief-induced rage and 3) broken down in full on heaving sobs in the middle of all the destruction. 18)Things they’ll never admit: OUGH THIS ONE IS SO JUICY FOR HIM. SO SO JUICY. This one stumped me a bit at first because Cas is a very honest person who normally speaks his mind. He's also pretty self aware. BUT the thing that Cas will never admit is that he kind of revels in being The Universe's Greatest Fool. Like, he's the Angel that Fell in Every Way Imaginable!! He betrayed all his kin and fucked up The Father's Great Narrative, all because he fell in love with a stupid human!! A Bug, Even!!! A BUG WHO DOESN'T LOVE HIM BACK (he does, but, well, see above). And he does it, over and over and over again. He always chooses humanity; he always chooses Dean. The thing is, there's a part of him that feels really comfortable in that idea of ceaseless devotion without acknowledgement; without reciprocity. Of course, it's familiar, but on top of that, I think there's a part of him that still houses guilt for going against his programming. We know he was lobotomized countless times; certainly there's residual feelings about straying from his designed path? And I think it's easier, in a way, to wallow in this self-pity, then to actually attempt to vocalize his wants and ask for what he needs. So, essentially, he fell and he feels like he needs to be punished, and the best possible punishment is for his one true desire to be something he can never obtain, because he doesn't deserve to have what he wants. Anything else feels foreign.

[apexart-journal]

Mvelo Mahlangu in NYC, Day 21

Today, I was going in to apexart to meet up with Steven for my exit Lunch. How did time fly by so fast?! I felt as though just yesterday I had my introductory lunch with Nia and Steven. After arriving at apexart, I spoke with Nia and Ryan for a bit, before Nia said “ok, lets go upstairs”, with Ryan getting up. I was so confused in the moment and realised that I kept looking at my calendar schedule as “Exit lunch” as opposed to “Exit interview and Lunch”. I felt so embraced but also laughed at myself and then realised I would be doing the interview. Thankfully, Nia and Ryan reassured me that it would be alright and that it was essentially me reflecting on my stay in NYC, but in front of camera as opposed to journalling. This was also the first time I got to see another part of the apex art building and let me tell you! It is so beautiful with its aged features and winding staircase that just keeps going up. We made it to the 2nd floor where all previous interviews took place with all other fellows. Sitting in front of the camera and answering somme of the questions Nia asked had my brain short circuiting. One thing about me, even though I’m able to converse with people I’ve just met, I always freeze up when it comes to anything public speaking related. Nonetheless, Nia had asked me a few question about my experience at apex and among them was the question of what I found most challenging over my time in NY. It was hard to really say exactly what I found challenging but I settled on mentioned how hard I found it to eat out just because of how overwhelming it was to see so many different options around every single corner. So I mostly just cooked my own food. Another thing I found challenging was the notion of finding myself feeling alone at times because even though I made so fleeting connections with people, it was just till the end of the activity we were doing. After that, I had to move onto the next thing. So it was a little bit hard knowing that I most likely wouldn’t see any of these people again unless I came back to NYC and kept in touch with them. That being said, I did welcome the experience of living completely alone because it was the first time I’ve ever experienced that. From living under my moms roof to getting a place with my partner, experiencing a month alone was interesting. 

Thinking on it now, another challenge I realised was how tired I started feeling. I can definitely attribute it to my body still trying to readjust to a routine as well as the constant moving around all day. It's not anything negative at all. Just a realisation again that this whole month I’ve walked more than I ever have in the last year. I think that in itself says a lot about getting stuck in a certain routine and way of life that sometimes needs diversifying. From sitting at a desk editing all day to maybe implementing walking breaks. If I had to share some advice to incoming fellows, especially those who experience a large gap in timezones from NYC, try to regulate as quickly and best as you can. Also be prepared to walk a lot, so stay comfortable. Sometimes prepare yourself for the walks you might pick over taking the subway because of how intriguing the city is :)

After finishing up with my exit interview, I went back downstairs with Nia and met with Steven for the exit lunch. We ate at the same place, right next to apexart office, that I had my intro meeting which I was happy with because the food was amazing. Also its so sweet seeing Steven mention how he knows the menu like the back of his hand. Wags was with us as well. I’ve definitely gotten used to the idea of how wags came to be and still share with my friends, his story. Still amazed by it all. I definitely felt a lot more comfortable and less awkward than I did the first time I sat down and spoke with Steven. One big takeaway from the meeting aside from my experience over the month, was what an amazing job Nia was able to do, coordinating and organising my schedule. I was her first NYC Fellow and I was so happy that she was the person looking after me from afar. I would say that personally I was happy because we were both the same age, people of colour and she’s extremely knowledgable on so much which offers new insight into conversations that we’ve had. Speaking to Steven after my experience so far in NY had me feeling so overwhelmed with gratitude. I’ve come to see that while I alone was invited to join this program, I am able to share my experience with others back home. And in that way, the vision of apexart somewhat lives exponentially past my physical experience. 

So thank you very much for providing such a rare opportunity to me and every fellow that has come before and will come after me. 

After the lunch, I stayed a little bit longer and chatted with Nia, Ryan and Ash before heading to the library screening of the movie “The Big Lebowski”. I really enjoyed talking with the apexart team and getting to know them even more, which lifted my spirits. They’re all such good people. :)

I made my way over to the library and found myself in a small room with a couple other people, and watched The Big Lebowski. I’ve attempted watching the movie before, a very long time ago, but have no idea why I didn’t finish it. So this felt like I was watching it for the first time. The movie definitely made me laugh at times because of the things we find ourselves doing for money. After the movie, I decided to walk back to the apartment instead of taking the subway as it was close and I could see some stores. I got to stop by a thrift store and take a look at what they had. 

[froggy-squad]

Dad was in the hospital last night. He passed out at work and was sent via ambulance. They had to do CPR on him to get him breathing again. I rushed from work straight to the hospital in Cleveland, lowkey freaking out the entire time. I stayed calm on the outside for S. The head of safety at dad's work is the one who called me, and he reassured me that dad was fine, he was awake when the ambulance left. I just focused on my breathing, and refused to let my thoughts turn negative. My biggest fear was that he might lose this job, because they would have to drug test him again, and I knew he would fail... and he did.

The ER was soooo busy. I met dad's head of safety when I got there. He told me everything they had told him thus far: first, that he was stable; second, that he was still on an EMS stretcher while they waited for an available bed; third, that he was sleeping while they waited. I couldn't see him until he was moved from the EMS gurney to a hospital bed.

I called my mother in law to see if anyone could come get S from the hospital and bring her to her house - her brother came and got her and picked her up some dinner. So at least she was taken care of.

I sat in the waiting room and kinda people-watched. The poor intake nurse, I felt so bad for her. People were being so rude about the wait times, like it was her fault. Then a preteen aged girl was brought it after falling and hitting her head! They ended up choosing to go to a different hospital due to the state of the ER at the time.

Eventually dad's coworker came back in and asked her to check on dad. I was too anxious to bother her to ask. But she told us that they had him in a bed in the hallway and that one person could go back to see him, so of course I didn't hesitate.

When dad saw me, his first response was a pained smile then a "great, Frog, you're here, now I can go home." I made him stay even though he didn't want to. I wanted to find out what was wrong. He did start talking negatively, talking about dying and wanting to "go die at home instead of here with all these strangers."

Long story short: his blood work and vitals came back fine. The chest xray showed pneumonia though, so they prescribed him antibiotics. He was irritable the whole time, just wanted to leave, but he thawed out as the night went on. He slept most of the time while I sat in the chair next to him.

I got him home finally at 12:15ish. Helped him up the hill and in the house. His wife was immediately hateful and didn't even seem to care where he had been for all that time. I left him feeling really guilty.

Me and S made it home and went STRAIGHT to bed. I woke up at like 4:30, and went ahead and put in for a sick day and assigned my classes some work. I knew I wouldn't be able to function at work with that level of sleep and stress.

I slept him pretty late, of course. 11:30. Husband took my car to town for a few hours, so I slept some more until about 4pm. When he came home, I left to pick up dad's meds and bring them to him. While I was there, he wanted a ride to the store then a friend's house and then another friend's house so I obliged. Then I brought him to my house to eat some food and chill out. I took him home soon after.

Husband is in a mood today. He's shut himself up in our room. He's not being mean or hateful or anything - just wants some space. Mom is ALSO in a mood, so I have my pick between hanging out with her in the living room or with Husband in our room - not great options. Mom's snoozing on the couch so I'm taking my chances in here.

I'm freaking out about money. I'm behind on my Capital One AND my Discover card payments. We just... don't make enough. I reached out to Uber Support to try to get my account back and active since it got all messed up after my name change. The Support guy was really nice and made it seem like it'll be all fixed soon. I hope so.

I wouldn't be opposed to getting a second job close by, at one of the family-run restaurants, to work at as-needed. I miss cooking at the Barrel sometimes. If Uber doesn't work out, I might check out some options here.

My house is a mess. That's what happens when mom is here with H. Almost every dish is dirty. Laundry is backed up. I'm trying now to get up the motivation to try to tackle some of this.

I'm gonna go donate plasma tomorrow to help cover rent this week. Mom wants to do the same, of course, so she'll be taking my car. I feel bad saying no to her though, because there are no alternatives for her. It irritates me to lend out my car to her and Husband all the time, driving across several counties, putting soo many miles on my car and wearing it down, but saying no always leads to conflict.

Tomorrow's Agenda:

donate plasma, do laundry, take dad to pick up his truck.

[mariaurore]

Hello and G'morning o/

(OOC) I ended off yesterday with my restaurant post, so let's pick back up today with another restaurant post 😄

As suggested via a tutorial I watched, I opened my restaurant from home a couple minutes prior to travelling to it first. When I got there, it already had a couple tables seated.

Keep in mind this is Day #1. Numero Uno. Shonichi. (You get the point)

I'm sorry this will get to me every time- I love seeing my friend's Senju clan in my game 🥰 and it's even more amazing now that Mari has a restaurant because it's more opportunity to interact with all of the sim households I've specifically placed into my worlds/game. Imo, if you're looking to get your sim out and meet people- to be extroverted at least a little bit- this is a good way to go.

I believe it was after I "welcome"d her table that this bubble popped up over her head. There's another type as well:

And that'd be this one here 👆🏻. Pops up after they place an order, or sit at a table? I forget which, but I think it's placing an order.

I had all intents and purposes to be home before Takashi got home from school but there was this one couple where things kind of went wrong and I'm starting to wonder if that's why people don't like this DLC much.

So what happened was 1 of 3 things:

They ordered food, ate, and continued to stay till the restaurant closed.

The restaurant bugged out and they just sat there indefinitely and I thought they never got their food. (Or maybe they did and it didn't register? because it bugged?)

They never ordered anything to begin with, and I thought they did, so I waited indefinitely until their order came out- until I finally gave up waiting.

This being my first day, I wasn't sure what would happen if I "close"d the restaurant with people inside. But time was escaping me quick. Takashi was home from school, Hitsu was home from work... my chef and host were starting to get insanely bored... (he just busts out with a Rubik's cube 😂)

I said screw it and hit the button. Consequences be damned at this point, lol. Mari- me, I, have a son and husband at home. Need to leave~

The people remaining in the restaurant simply left. No harm, no foul. I don't know if anything negative would have come from it if they had placed an order or were midway eating though.

At the end of the work day, you get a "report" of sorts. My first day wasn't a total train wreck. If I were to look at my Business Funds as a whole, yeah I lost Simoleons. But if I were to look at the day on its own, we made a narrow Net Profit. It came down to that one problematic couple I couldn't make heads or tails of. This was a learning curve and I will be more mindful of that in the future.

In comes Day #2, and sure enough...

Just keep welcoming tables... checking on tables. If things get overwhelming, disallow customers at the host stand. I've been helping out my waiter with dishes here and there because if I don't- Mari goes straight to the bar and it's like Woman! 💢 You don't need to be making drinks and dipping into the restaurant funds *sigh*

I also make her "view" pieces of art everywhere that I can but I swear she has ADHD like I do- and that doesn't preoccupy her long.

Oh look! Another special guest! 😄

It was around this point that she goes home and gets a Want Bubble to research recipes on the computer to make the menu better 🤔

I had her complete the Want, but I never went back and checked the menu.

I'm curious if anything did change to the menu. That's something I should check *nod*

Day #3:

These stars went much faster! I got 2 food critics in one-day. Pay them extra attention if possible. It was on this day I was also able to afford the Patient Patrons Perk. That helps a lot~

I know I have a lot more Perk Points to buy something else. Like Increased Quality or an Additional Waiter but I'm undecided which to grab first. Probably the quality 🤷🏻‍♀️

From here it's just- keep doing what I do, slowly tack on Perks and more staff. I need to train my staff, give them promotions. Upgrade my menu items when my chefs are more skilled. But I think I have the general gist of it *nod* 😄

Oh, and I'm noticing my restaurant can handle a "morning rush" of customers before Takashi gets home from school, almost perfectly. I get a wave of 3-6 tables and then I disallow new customers. (That's where it's been the first 3 days at 1-3 stars, it may increase now that I'm at 4 stars 🙃)

Guess that makes my restaurant kind of like a breakfast and lunch bistro (aka Brunch), 8am-3pm.

[enactivewebs]

16/03/2023 

Journaling on first two weeks of ZYU 6.002 online teaching:

Stream of consciousness

The first two weeks of ZBCP6.002 have been a mixture of low energy, stagnation, moments of inspiration and connection and a heightened sense of anxiety. Anxiety about how I’m being perceived, how the TAs are perceiving me and whether I’m being engaging and ‘fun’ enough for the students

The good stuff is that (some of) the students seem to be really enjoying the content and producing really interesting and sometimes original ideas. The boys at the back are still very disengaged. I’m looking forward to being able to go over there and walk around the space, engage with the students in person, face to face and in order to communicate in more non-verbal ways (body language, expressions, occupying the same space and picking up on each other’s ‘vibe’ for want of a better term) 

I’ve been feeling a bit uninspired at moments working from home and online, and feeling like I’m just setting tasks and then interacting on wechat - why am I even on an online video call

It’s also difficult to engage with the TAs and form some more rapport and connection in this strange setting where I can’t hear them very well, and we have to conversate in front of the whole class

The TAs have been great though and this week both did awesome presentations on their own creative and teaching practices to give other voices and perspectives to the students. 

I also really don’t like how I can see my own face while teaching online - I find this disconcerting and distracting - taking me out of the moment and my body and starting to self-analyse my expressions, how I’m coming across and other negative self-talk

As I write this I realise that a lot is negative, there have also been great moments and perks to teaching online from home. I really enjoy being able to head out for walks (the weather has been relatively good most days) and get some sun. also having the coffee machine at home and being able to set a task and wait for students to ask questions on wechat. Meanwhile I can work on other things in the background

It’s just quite isolating and non-social, especially working from home. At least last year I’d be with my colleagues on the ground at EIT and able to interact with them before, during and after the sessions

Also upon reflection, in order to save energy and be a bit more sustainable, I’ve been  not shouting and trying to engage students for the whole 3 and a half hours as it nearly ran me into the ground last year

It looks like my work permit for china may come through in next 2-3 weeks then it’s probably be another 2 weeks before I have my visa and able to book tickets over there. Amping for the food and just being in a different context and seeing and experiencing new things

I think I’ll really be able to get a ‘feeling’ for design education over there more from being immersed in the culture and context. Also, doing some trips to other design unis and schools around Zhejiang and further afield will be great to get even more of a sense of this.

I hope the students are getting something valuable from the approaches, frameworks, activities and new ideas I’m introducing. I just wish I could muster up some more energy and enthusiasm at times. There are moments though

I’ve also been reflecting on the differences in culture and how students, co-workers and lecturers interact with one another. I wonder if these differences will be minimised or increased in a real, embodied context? 

The fusion of Aotearoa NZ western/south pacific design approaches with east asian contemporary Chinese views is something that I’m very interested to explore

I also think being over there, I will become less self-conscious and more in the moment while teaching in real life. There won’t be a camera on my face (at least not one feeding back a view to me like a mirror), I’ll be able to focus more on one on ones, group activities and fostering meaningful and genuine interactions and relationships

The food is also something I’m excited to experience, and seeing Shaoxing and Hangzhou and surrounding areas and catching up with mates in Shanghai

Getting out of Hawkes Bay, and the aftermath of the cyclone and flooding will be good. Although it’s going to be tough being away from Mim for 8 weeks or more, and especially hard for her, having a trip at the end to Japan and/or Australia together will be good

We just want some clarity on when I’ll be going, for how long, and then we can get back on with organising our life. This whole year has felt like being in a waiting room, and in limbo/purgatory. With my ankle being kaputt, this trip lingering and continuous change of requirements and plans to get a visa and over there, the cyclone and aftermath - what a stitch up

I don’t really have anything else coming to mind at this moment so I’m just going to stop here for now

Looking forward to feeding off some in person energy with the students, getting off the screen, getting out of my head and into my body, and just absorbing an amazing experience in a very different context to my usual

Fuck yea cunt

[nidailylife]

2.10.2023.

Been gone from this daily life blog and Instagram for a long time.

I caught Covid near the end of December. Then i got my whole house sick, because i was so sure it couldn't possibly be covid.😰 My symptoms started while walking in my large backyard with a mask on. How could it be covid?!? It had to be that pms flu some people get. But then the rest of my family got sick, we got tested, and---BAM. Covid. From the freaking backyard. With no neighbors around. While wearing a mask.😵

Fortunately, we're all covid negative now, though we're all still coughing. The doctors say that'll last 2 months. We had to postpone our family's Japan trip again, for the 4th(?) year. But that gives me more time to do my taxes.

Good thing too, because i got sick AGAIN. I've been getting an unusual amount of hives since 2020. (Maybe my "cold" that winter was also covid?) So i didn't realize anything unusual about a bump in January, until it didn't disappear like hives. Clearly now, it was a bug bite. Then it got bigger. Turned dark colors. Filled with puss. Burst like a giant pimple; now an open wound. I was getting chills and fevers, while dealing with an open wound on my butt. Being unable to sit, i couldn't do anything but lie in bed, and endure my fevers. And when i realized my sickness was because this bug bite was infected (and not just another instance of my history of becoming sick from getting too cold), i was still not well enough to think about a trip to the doctor. When the fevers left, being unable to sit meant i couldn't do anything. I couldn't draw, do photography, write, work on my laptop, etc. And while still recovering my strength, i didn't have the stamina to stand or go on walks. Whatever stamina i did have, went to recooking food on the stove, because our microwave has been broken for a while. I really miss having a microwave when you're too tired to stand.😭 When i finally got some energy back, all i could do was browse social media on my phone. And since Instagram posts usually take an activity on my part to document, i just had nothing to post.

I'm much better now, and my open wound only has around 1cm left of gap in my skin to close up. I can sit again, even for most of the day, and DO things.😄

I got my laptop taken in for repair, with 22 days of warranty left to spare. 🎊 The service even called me tonight to say i could pick it up on Monday.👍✨️

I got my city business tax e-filed, WEEKS earlier than i have in years. All because i didn't know how long my laptop repair would take, so i tried to get all my important computer stuff done before i sent it for fixing.

But what i haven't done is walk outside again. Frankly, I'm kind of afraid to. After my last 2 walks, i got an infected bug bite. During each of my 2 walks before that, i caught Covid. Maybe I'll be ok with walking outside again in 2 months or so. But my open wound is still trying to close and i don't want to take away its energy to heal. Early into this bug bite, i tried to walk, and my whole muscular tissue around that area was actually sore. I shouldn't have powered thru it. Now I'm going to give it more rest than ever. So i may not do daily walks again (or even go outside unnecessarily) for a couple months.

Other thing i haven't done in too long is draw. I forgot how hard it is for me to start again. Some artists say the necessity of daily practice is a myth. But for me, it's a must. I have no more confidence or even muscle memory about drawing anything.😭 I cant get the ideas out of my head, out thru my hand/pen, and onto paper!😭 Feels like a literal block between my brain and my hand.🥺 I need to admit for real this time that Creatury does not work for me. That January drawing challenge does not motivate me to draw. Then i fall off my daily drawing practice, and look where i am.😓 Every December, i burn out from consecutive months of drawing challenges: Smaugust, OTPtember, Inktober, Huevember. I need my January drawing challenge to be simple to pick up. One year, i sketched backyard flowers everyday for January. I should have done that again. Referential sketches don't take any thought, and with the end result, being able to emulate realism boosts my confidence. And because the sketches are based on my own photos, i can use them to make merch.👍 So from now on, daily flower sketches, every January.

Right now, I'm 10 days into February and haven't even started the Faebruary drawing challenge. One of my favorites, and I'm letting it fly by me.😓 This happens every year that i cant pick back up with my daily drawings in January.😖💧💧💧💧💧

On the bright side, i started learning how to crochet a belt cord. Which is something I've needed to be able to make for years. But it hurts my hand so much, I'm thinking of just sewing belts out of tougher fabrics instead.😜

This is my first time journaling in days, since my laptop has been off for repairs (and my hands don't have the stamina to write by hand for long anymore). I realize this has been a long post, but I just needed to catch up. 📝

Grateful to my cells for working so hard lately.

I've been sick lately, and am still fighting off several lingering effects. But I'm so thankful to my hard working cells, while watching them progress in closing up my open wound and gradually fight back my post Covid cough.

2.10.2023. Figure Friday.

Nendoroid White Blood Cell (Neutrophil), Red Blood Cell, and Platelet.

Plushies from Monster Pet Shop and GIANT Microbes by Drew Oliver.

Scrapbook paper

[joekeeryswife]

Your infertility fic was really good and as someone who has experienced a miscarriage before it’s very accurate, especially the part about family being pregnant and happy and it hurting so much once you’ve experienced profound loss like that. If you happen to make it a small series, one thing that is common after miscarriage is once you become pregnant again you are stressed out the whole time and terrified that you will lose that baby again or something will go wrong all the way up to delivery (at least that’s how I was when I finally had my son last year). But again, it was so good!

Infertility 3 - J.Q

hello love! idk if you want me to use this but i thought about how educational this was for other women out there. however i wanted to say congratulations on having your son! i wish him and you the best health and future! with this series now i feel like i’m dragging it out so the next imagine will be longer and the last part unless someone requests another one. enjoy i guess this is honestly so bad sorry!

it had been four months since that conversation with Joseph and nothing had really changed. sex didn't feel like a chore and you'd practically stopped trying. you hadn't taken a pregnancy test since his mums birthday and in all fairness you felt relieved. you didn't feel the weight of the negative tests on you anymore and you and Joseph had both been a lot happier. for the past few weeks you'd been feeling nauseous and just all around shitty. you'd wake up, feel sick, be sick then lounge around in bed feeling like you couldn't move from how ill you felt.

Joseph had been the biggest help. he'd bring you food, water and medicine. he'd also just sit there and hold you as you slept. you hated the way you felt and the feeling that you couldn't do anything just made you feel worse. it was a Tuesday. Joseph had left for an interview early that morning and as much as you protested and begged him to stay home, he admitted he couldn't get out of it even if he tried. he would be back around 4ish meaning you'd be alone all day.

you had been napping for most of the day and saw it was 15:21 when you checked the time on your phone, Joseph would be home soon and you'd never felt more relieved. you decided it was best that you had a shower instead of being lazy again. you got up out of bed and walked to the airing cupboard to grad two towels and walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. you stripped before getting in, feeling the warm water spread across your body. after about ten minutes of standing in the shower, you felt out of breath. like you'd just done the biggest work out and your legs felt like jelly.

never in your life had you ever felt like this. you felt ill all the time, sometimes even faint and now you felt out of breath from just standing. something wasn't right. you sat down in the bath, just letting the bath run over you as you tried to catch your breath. after regaining your breath and you felt somewhat better, you stood up and turned off the shower before wrapping the towel around your body. you picked up your clothes from the floor and put them in the washing basket before walking to your bedroom.

you sat on the bed, thinking about any possible causes and none came to mind. you finally after what felt like forever decided it was best to get dressed. you went to your pyjama draw and got some bottoms before going to Joseph's draw to grab an oversized t-shirt, well, it was oversized on you but not on him. you sat down at your vanity and brushed your wet hair, the faint feeling coming back over you. you let your elbows rest on the vanity desk top and your head fell to your hands, hoping the feeling would go away quickly.

you let your eyes close as you focused on your breathing, tears filling your eyes as you felt yourself feeling nauseous again, not hearing Joseph come home. Joseph knew something was up with you and he was thinking logically about this. there was only one possible thing he could think of so he left work early and got three pregnancy tests. he didn't want to get his hopes up but he knew you weren't right and this wasn't a virus bug, this was something completely different.

he walked through the house, not seeing you anywhere. he walked to your shared bedroom and walked in, seeing you with your head in your hands, breathing unsteady. he walked into the room, bag of tests in hand. he chucked them on the bed and then walked towards you. he put his hand on your back as he kneeled down to your level, rubbing it soothingly. your head moved from your hands to look at him, your lip quivering. "sweetheart, you alright?" he asked, seeing you with teary eyes and flushed cheeks.

"Joey" you said, relieved he was home. you let your arms move to around his shoulders as you sobbed quietly into his neck. he turned your body to face him instead of your body twisting uncomfortably to him. he let you cry in his neck, not making any noise as he comforted you silently. he knew something was wrong and he was going to prove his point. "i need you to do something for me sweetheart" he said, picking you up and walking to the bed. you were confused when he reached for the plastic bag that was sat on the bed.

he pulled out a digital pregnancy test and showed it to you. your heart dropped, there was no way you were pregnant. you were barely even trying. you shook your head, feeling terrified. you don't know what got you so worried, maybe it was the thought of another negative test and something else being wrong. "no, there's no way i could be" you said, making him sigh. "look, i know you don't want to do this but i really think we should at least rule this out." he said, moving a hand up to your cheek to wipe away the tears.

"Joe i'd never forgive myself if i took that and it was negative. you know i can't be put through that again and neither can you" you said, getting off his lap and standing in front of him. he grabbed ahold of your hand and looked at you with pleading eyes. "y/n if it's negative then we need to know what's actually wrong okay?" he said, standing up as he basically towered over you and you looked up at him. "something could be seriously wrong with you and maybe we should at least see. if it's not this then we need to go to the doctors or something because you've been like this for weeks baby. we need to know" he said, making your heart swell. he really cared and you loved that about him.

you sighed, looking away before grabbing the test out of his hand. he grabbed ahold of your face gently, kissing your cheek before kissing your lips before letting go, allowing you to walk to the bathroom to take the test. as you finished taking the test, you put the cap back on before putting it on the counter top, face down. "Joseph, you can come in here now" you shouted out, hearing him leave the bedroom and opening the bathroom door. you washed your hands before drying them on the towel which was on the towel rack.

you walked to the toilet and put the lid down, sitting on it as you nervously picked at your nails. "hey, stop doing that" Joseph said, walking towards you. he sat on the bath tub next to you and grabbed ahold of your hand. "it's gonna be okay love, whatever it says we'll be okay" he said, bringing your hand up to his lips as he placed a kiss on the back of it. you looked at him, eyes full of panic and fear. what if you weren't pregnant and there was something seriously wrong? but what if you were pregnant, how would it feel to actually carry a child you'd been desperately hoping for.

you guys sat in silence for the five minutes, it felt like forever with the waiting. Joseph would take sneaky glances at you as you looked at your lap, waiting for the five minutes to be over. once Joseph's timer went off on his phone, you stood up quickly, scared to look at the test. "you look first love, it'll be okay" he said, kissing your forehead gently. you picked up the test and closed your eyes, doing a silent prayer that it was positive. "no wait, i don't want to look alone" you said, opening your eyes to look at Joseph, seeing him already looking at you.

his eyes softened as he saw the scared look on your face. "okay, you ready?" he asked, watching you nod. you took a deep breath and flipped over the test. your hand went to your mouth as your eyes filled with tears. you felt Joseph wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek. ‘pregnant 5-6 weeks’ it read. the whole time you’d been feeling ill wasn’t because there was something horribly wrong, you were pregnant. you sobbed into Joseph’s neck as the news slowly started to sink in. “oh my god” he said, his arms tightening around you.

one of his hands was in your hair, holding you close as his other was on your back, stroking it softly. you pulled back, giving him a kiss which he reciprocated. you’d never been more excited in your whole life. you’d been through this once before but nothing compared to this. “we did it” you sobbed, feeling relief serge through your body. “we did it baby, i told you we would didn’t i? i’m so proud of you” he replied, kissing your lips passionately. this was it. you were finally pregnant with the miracle baby you’d always dreamed of.

[ur-fave-is-yandere]

hiii! I got a request. Yandere jungkook. Wedding night. Arranged marriage. 👀 Virgin oc/reader

Red Ties

"You know that everywhere I go I got a million people tryna kick it but I'm still alone, in my mind.." - Halsey

400 people...400 people gathered all in one place to watch your wedding. Junkook's wedding. if it were really yours you would be marrying the person you loved willingly, marrying them with hope for the future. A house, kids, growing old together...But those are thoughts of the past, thoughts from a life where you hadn't been trafficked, where you hadn't been bought by Jungkook and forced into an arranged marriage. A prison sentence really, any hope you had of ever returning to your own life, even just your own country, had long died out. You belonged here now, belonged to him. Why someone like Jungkook would even want you is beyond your thought or reasoning, the two of you could barely speak the same language let alone actually get along. Your korean was less than a two year olds, and he liked it that way. Of course he let you learn his native tongue, after all how would you teach his children if you yourself could barely talk right? But it was slow, and only what he wanted you to know, the less you know the better. Better for Junkook that is, not even being able to ask for help correctly meant that you had to rely on him for everything. Ordering your food, taking you to the doctor's, picking up your medication, even just finding pads in the store was a struggle. So he did it all, leaving you more and more dependent on him as the days go on. It's how he managed to get you where you are now, dressed in traditional wedding hanbok waiting to walk the aisle with him. Your whole life you had imagined this moment, dreamed of the day where you would be conjoined to another for all of eternity. You thought of all the tears of pure joy you would cry, yet as you stand here all you can feel is a gut full of rocks, so heavy part of you wonders if you could lay down in the extravagant water fountain behind you and drown. Maybe that could be the escape you've been looking for all this time, after all it only takes a few seconds to lose all your breath...maybe- "Y/n-ah!" Your soon to be snaps his fingers in front of your face, shaking his head as he fixes a few loose strands of hair shaping your face. "Don't frown, you'll cause wrinkles." he warns, a soft yet firm hand lightly brushing its way across your furred browns. You can't really tell what he's saying, you can pick out your name, negative, and frown. You hadn't even realized you'd been doing it, then again your emotions have always been so easy for others to guess...Eyes taking in every small detail of you wear Jungkook slowly slides one of your sleeves back up your shoulder, you frame having lessened by at least two sizes since you'd been taken and auctioned off. It wasn't that Junkook didn't feed you, you just couldn't trust the food or drink he gave you. The only time you were mostly positive he hadn't slipped some mysterious med or sedative in it was when he took you out, which wasn't often. Tracing a finger much larger than your own from your collar bone up your neck and around to your lips Junkook smiles slightly, his own emotions much more controlled than your own. "On wedding nights...After tonight, you are mine." he begins in korean, slowly switching to english for you. Struggling slightly he looks you in the eye, noticeably closing in and backing you against one of the wedding hall walls. "Mine, and only mine..It'll be okay jagiya? All will be lovely." Bringing you into his chest Junkook buries his face into your hair, inhaling deeply. Acutely aware of just how close the two of you are heat pin pricks at your face as you feel a firm and large point pushing against your inner thighs. Lifting up your face your forced fiance slowly rubs at your bottom lip, hungrily licking his own. "I know you've scared, it's okay...I like that" he whispers lowly in english, slowly grinding himself into your clothes. Whimpering in fear you clothes your eyes tight, willing your soul to flee your body as you feel Jungkook clumsily push the two of you into a near broom closet. "Just breathe, I'll be quick I promise. I know you've never done it before, I'll teach you. You'll learn soon.."

[huge-enthusiast]

Miraculous fic recomendations!!

This is just an excuse to show all my bookmarks? Yes. Yes, it is. I'm pretty sure most of this fics are really popular, but try see if you find something you didn't knew about!

All of the fics will be rated Teen and up audiences or lower. Also if I don't put the author's tumblr is because they didn't put it in the fic or/and I couldn't find it.

Pairing: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug

knowing you by emsylcatac (they are not really the author of the fic but that's the account that says in the fic, the actual author doesn't have an account).

After dropping their transformations months ago, Marinette and Adrien see each other for the first time after being apart. They've both left too much unsaid and have to work to pick up the pieces of their confused hearts.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal but mostly ladynoir, light angst with happy ending.

the last day on earth by Reiaji

The first time Marinette sees Chat Blanc, she's fourteen years old. The second time, fifteen—the third time, seventeen.

The closer she grows to Adrien, the harder it is to save him.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal lovesquare, kinda heavy angst, hopeful ending.

tell me something i don't know by carpisuns (@carpisuns here on tumblr)

Do you think it still means something? To love someone, even if the universe said you had to?

The odds of having a soulmate are about negative one billion (or something like that). But somehow, like they always have, Marinette and Chat Noir find themselves together. They’re ready to finally tell each other everything, but it turns out that even soulmates have to keep secrets, and while their bond draws them together, duty forces them apart.

Chapters: currently 17/28 (WIPs can be exhausting but this one is 100% worth the wait!)

Mostly marichat but almost all of the lovesquare sides make an appearance, soulmates au, mostly fluff but it can get angsty if it wants to.

One Thing After Another by SKayLanphear

Marinette notices that, sometimes, Adrien acts a little out of the ordinary--like the time he stood in a cardboard box for no reason, or when he actually hissed at Nino. It's only when she starts to notice the similarities between Adrien and a certain feline that she begins to get suspicious.

Basically, Adrien acts like a cat when he probably shouldn't.

Chapters: 15/15

Mostly adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, miraculous side effects (by both sides wich is really cool!), it's fluff with a lil tiny angst for drama.

This would take some getting used to by Codango (@codango here on tumblr!)

Adrien peeked out from behind the chimney even as the magic of his own Chat Noir mask fell away.

She was still visible, her dark hair bobbing under the street lamps a couple blocks away.

“Marinette.”

Adrien blew out a confused breath. His fiery Ladybug… was the quiet little mouse who sat behind him in class?

“What. The.”

This… would take some getting used to.

Chapters: 8/8

Adrienette with one sided reveal by Adrien's part, awkward flirting, just fluff, nothing to worry about.

comfort food also by Reiaji!

In Marinette's house, cooking is a language of love, and Marinette loves Adrien more than most.

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette with a little of ladynoir, super super fluff, a lot of insight into Marinette's chinese heritage.

The right side of his face by walkingonthestars (@hamsternamedmarinette here on tumblr!)

Marinette and Adrien are able to remain in their new seats in the back of the room at the end of Chameleon.

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette, fluff with light angst.

it's a long way forward so trust in me by aloneintherain (@captainkirkk here on tumblr!)

“You’re not the only strong one around here, Chat,” Marinette said. She looked a little winded, but she wasn’t struggling to hold him up.

This close up, he could see the freckles on the bridge of her nose. He could see how that smug smile lit up her eyes. He could feel the strain of her arms—and wow, okay, he really wasn’t the only person around here with muscles.

Six times Marinette carried Adrien (plus one time he carried her).

Chapters: 1/1

All the sides of the lovesquare! Fluff with LOTS of mutual pining.

a fight that you were born to lose also by aloneintherain

When the prosecution starts throwing around the word victim in reference to Adrien, he has to stuff his hands under his thighs to keep himself from bolting out of the courtroom.

Adrien had felt unsafe during those last few weeks, but, until he had woken up and seen Father silhouetted in his bedroom doorway, that had only been paranoia. Father was controlling and cold, but he wasn’t hateful. Adrien was isolated. He was often hungry. And some weeks ago, when he had snuck out to visit Nino, sitting thigh-to-thigh on his bed while Adrien cried in that silent, crumbling way of his, he hadn’t argued when Nino put a hand on his shoulder and said, tentatively, That’s abuse.

But Adrien remembers being small and Father touching his hair after he’d aced another test; Father holding his scribbled drawings like they were something precious, and framing them around his office; Father, dressed as Hawkmoth, his eyes wild behind the mask, lashing his sword against Adrien’s baton; Father, collapsed against Mum, crying into her ashy hair.

Adrien finds out Gabriel is Hawkmoth, and Gabriel gets to bring his long-waited plan into action.

Chapters: 1/1

This one doesn't really focus in the ship that much as is an Adrien character study and an exploration of his relationship with his father, but they're still there so I put them here. Really heavy angst (this is one of this fics that haunt me in the middle of the night) with a happy ending. ❗TW: parental abuse, eating disorders❗

Supercut by LNC

Marinette loves her friends and Adrien can't deal.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal lovesquare, again light angst, an exploration of Adrien's insecurities, Marinette Dupain-Cheng deserves the world, happy ending.

Madame Snare by jettiebettie

“Sounds like a lot of work for nothing. She should take this as a sign to have a relaxing weekend with no responsibilities.”

“It's a lot of work she put her whole heart into. It wouldn't be right for it to go to waste,” Adrien whispers to him. The look on Marinette's face is enough to cause Adrien's own heart to ache. If anyone deserves the satisfaction and pride from a job well done, it's her.

“Too bad there isn't anyone else who can walk in those death traps,” Plagg says. Adrien hums in thought, tapping his chin.

“I could.”

Chapters: 1/1

Marichat, episode-based, Chat Noir in a dress!!!, light angst but it's mostly just idiots being idiots and a lot of fun.

in the same sun by peachcitt (@peachcitt here on tumblr!)

"It’s hard to believe that I saw you last at the peak of summer, when the sun was close and warm - and so were you. It should go without saying that I miss you. I miss you something terrible."

//

"It’s been seven months to the day since I’ve seen you. I wish you were here more than anything else."

Two letters, signed with initials instead of names, found in Paris, France.

Chapters: 1/1

Ladynoir, just angst, that's it, written like letters. No ending, just pain.

an uncurtain discovery by Missnoodles (@ladyofthenoodle here on tumblr!)

When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.

(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)

Chapters: 1/1

Ladrien, it says it's crack, and don't get me wrong, is super funny, but I also found it sad as fuck?

An Open Secret by Kasienda

Adrien whirled around toward Marinette. She smiled at him.

He couldn’t smile back. He stared at her like the dumb blond model that he was often accused of being.

Something shifted in her expression. And her warm open Marinette smile transformed into Ladybug’s grin. He was looking at Ladybug right now.

He knew Ladybug’s name!

Her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

And he couldn’t say anything! Not to Marinette! Not even to Plagg, who had confided two weeks prior that Master Fu was growing increasingly paranoid since the location of his home and hideout had been compromised. Their master had apparently decided that Chat Noir and Ladybug would have to give up their miraculouses if they ever discovered each other’s identities.

It wasn’t fair!

...

A fic where they both know, but can't openly talk about it.

Chapters: 4/4

Post-reveal... but is it? Mostly adrienette and ladynoir, fluff with light angst and them being absolute idiots at hiding their secret identity.

golden (like daylight) by okayanna (@anna-scribbles here on tumblr!)

Friendship, Adrien decided, shaking off the mental image of Marinette’s hurricane eyes and hesitant mouth, parted in a small, careful “o.” He had a very strong friendship with Marinette. That was all.

or

Adrien thinks a lot about words, love, and Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Chapters: 1 + epilogue

Adrienette but has lots of ladynoir, another Adrien character study because I hate myself, it tries to not be angst but the writing will punch you in the guts and make you cry, it's so good.

Strangers in the Bright Lights by poodles (@ladybeug here on tumblr!)

Adrien is about two drinks in when he sees a girl at the end of the bar wearing black cat ears. It's kind of weird, so he watches her, and although it's crowded he can see her face when she turns around. She’s wearing a Chat Noir mask. He takes a quick look around- nobody else is wearing a mask. Just her.

Adrien finishes his gin martini and heads over to her. He could use some company tonight anyways, he hasn’t told anyone he’s back in Paris and Nathalie won’t arrive in town for another month. And it’s been a rough day, okay? A rough move! He’s not sure he wants to be back yet, and he spent most of the day in the Agreste mansion sorting through some photographs of his father he found in the study. Maybe he wants a drink and some stranger to tell him he’s pretty! That’s not a crime, is it?

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette but it's also ladrien??? I think??? It's super super angsty but they're both drunk the entirety of the fic so it's also really funny.

Pick-Up and Chase by also SKayLanphear

After she accidentally trips into Adrien and apologizes about "falling for him," Marinette learns that he's no match for cheesy pick-up lines--whether they were unintended or not. And while she finds it flattering that he turns into a flustered mess with only a few words, Marinette comes to regret making him uncomfortable. That is, until she learns he's Chat Noir. At which point the phrase "just deserts" becomes a permanent fixture in her everyday plans.

A story in which Adrien is flustered, Marinette is smooth as glass at dropping lines, and Chat Noir gets the romance he was always asking for--even if he doesn't quite know how to handle it.

Chapters: 10/10

Adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, it doesn't say it in the tags but I'm pretty sure the characters are much older than they actually are in the show, so much fluff and so much flirting.

Pairing: Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe

Nino Has Done Nothing To Deserve This by GuardianKarenTerrier (@guardiankarenterrier here in tumblr)

It's nothing, really- just an innocent comment, a joke. But when they hear it, Nino and Alya come to a realisation.

There were, in retrospect, dozens upon dozens of hints. Now that they're suddenly aware of all their friend's flimsy excuses and rushed explanations, they're not only sure how they've missed it, they're not sure how anyone else has either. They realise that it had to be magic protecting their friends- and that same magic has ceased to work on the two of them.

Well, this means they'll just have to start watching over their friends themselves.

Chapters: 7/7

This is more a found family fic than anything else, Alya and Nino are the mom friend, has light angst but it's mostly identity shenanigans in the most bizarre way. ❗TW: eating disorders❗

christmas lights by demistories

Nino checks up and down the street, checking to make sure there’s no raging akuma headed his way before he crosses quickly and ducks inside the small café. He closes the door quickly before the icy air can blow inside and tugs his beanie down over his ears. He spots Alya sitting alone in the corner.

Chapters: 1/1

Just fluff!! Really short but really sweet.

hold on, i still want you also by Missnoodles!

Written for the @thedjwifizine ! Wich I also recommend if you wanna binge a lot of djwifi fics while also looking at amazing art!!!

Five times Alya ran into her ex, and the one time he stopped being her ex.

Chapters: 1/1

Light angst with a happy ending! I don't really like the ex-lovers to lovers trope but this one is the only exception.

I will continue to expand the list in the future! But by now I hope I was helpful in the search of new fics!

[iwadori]

When they neglect you for another girl Part 4 (Sakusa)

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

Word Count: 2.6K

Genre: Angst to Fluff

masterlist

AN: YES I DID PUT MYSELF IN THIS STORY! SUE ME. This is basically inspired by a random conversation i had w the great @teesumu, so this is basically for you doll <3

Sakusa:

You and Sakusa have been together for a around 10 years and love eachother immensly.    

However recently Sakusa has been busy and you havent really had much time together lately as he claims been busy doing loads of visits with his new agent.

But of course, being the loving partner you are you wanted to revive the spark in your relationship.

You have been seeing a lot of people on social media posting their aesthetic ‘picnic dates,’ and you knew that this was something that appealed to you before it was ‘on trend.’ Kiyoomi immediately came to your mind once you had the idea of going on a date. You knew that you haven’t be around each other lately, as Kiyoomi always had either a ‘meeting’ or some sort of ‘interview’ that his new agent “Empress” has set up for him.

You didn’t really know Empress that well, just that she was ‘good at her job,’ a ‘hard and dilligent worker,’ and a ‘raging hottie’ with Atsumu’s opinion being the last one. You weren’t suspecting her to have any malicious intent towards you or Kiyoomi, since you knew that he had a great judge of character. But it was just odd, that every time Kiyoomi was running late or having ‘super-secret’ conversations on the phone it was always because ‘my agent set up this,’ ‘my agent set up that,’ and that’s what left you a bit wary.

As you were scrolling through your phone you see a calendar updating saying : Next Week‘ A DECADE AGO WE FELL IN LOVE.’  

10 years. How could you forget? You and Omi have literally been together for a decade. You think back to the decade of madness and love you’ve been through together, smiling fondly to yourself but then you think about where you are now... barely even talking to each other, only mainly seeing him when he comes home from work.

You need to fix this. Or at least make an attempt to get you and Kiyoomi talking again. So, the only thing you can do, is plan that picnic.

You spent the rest of the day planning your anniversary picnic. ’It’s going to be great,’ you think to yourself, you have a list of all Omi’s favorite foods you're going to make him and bring and you are probably going to pick up a few board games and maybe even get some paint supplies. You and Kiyoomi used to paint a lot together, with the two of you not being the best of painters, but you enjoyed eachothers company non the less.  

Everything was sorted...for the most part. All you needed to do was get Omi there, and it’ll all be okay. Right? As you were bubbling and looking for more picnic inspo, you hear your front door open which made you even more excited to tell your boyfriend your plans.  

As you rush to go greet him, you see he’s on the phone making you roll your eyes. “No Empress it won’t work, we need this sorted by next week. Okay? Next week.” he says in an agitated way. He hangs up the phone and sighs, shoving off his duffel bag.

“Hey Omi, how was your day?” you say a bit hesitant, noticing his annoyed mood.  

“Fine” He said dismissively, aiming to walk past you aiming for your bedroom.

“Oh well I have something amazing planned for ne-” you try to say following after him.

“Can we not do this right now Y/N,” he says again turning too look at you making you frown a bit, all you wanted to do is surprise him with your plans and have a day out with him. After noticing your sad look he finishes with “it’s just that Empress she’s bee-”

“I don’t want to hear about her.” you say bitterly folding your arms, Empress is the last person you want to hear about right now “God Omi can’t you just care about me? For once.”

“I do I-”

“You don’t anymore,” you say, with all the emotions and feelings you’ve been just supressing from a while coming up. You don’t even know how you got from point A to B with this conversation, but there's no stopping now. “I feel that, for a while now we haven’t been how we were before when we were just Y/N and Kiyoomi. Instead of how we are now. Just Y/N. Then Kiyoomi and Empress.”

After hearing his agents name, Kiyoomi’s name contorts to confusion “Empress? What does she have to do with anything?”

“How can you not see? For the past month all it’s been is ‘Empress this’ ‘Empress that,’” you complain “Having your super secret conversations with her, like god Kiyoomi can’t you see a problem with this?”  

“It’s not like that Y/N, we’re just work partners” he says looking a bit annoyed “Just business.”

 “Just business? So Kiyoomi, what were you talking about on the phone earlier” you say with your voice slight accusingly.

“Umm I, I can’t really say?” he says more of a question then a fully assured statement. You squint your eyes at him and scoff.

“What is going on with you Omi?” you say “are you cheating on me with her is that it?”

“No, no of course not Y/N! How could you even ask that?” he frowned at your question making your chest hurt, since deep down you knew he could never do that to you. Could he?

“Well tell me then, what were you talking about?” you ask again.

“I can’t say..” he finishes  

“Well I can’t stay.” you say and his face goes back to confusion “Here. With you.”

“What do you mean Y/-”

“I need a break or something. I just can’t be here right now.” You start to rush and pack a big of things whilst Kiyoomi just stands there.

After you pack up your stuff, you look back and see Kiyoomi just there. Standing. You were upset, you kind of wanted him to rush after you and beg you not to leave, but he was just there. Standing. So you put the hand on the door and just before you leave you turn back and say “bye Sakusa, see you later?” to which you see him slightly nod at.

When the door shut, Kiyoomi starts to cry. After hearing you call him by his last name really twisted the knife that was already in his heart. You haven’t called him that since you were like 15. He knew what you wanted; he knew you wanted him to rush towards you and beg you not to leave, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. But what he could do is call the one person he only could call.

After a few rings, he hears “What do you need Saku?”  

“She’s gone, she left.”

“What do you mean she’s gone, did you tell her?”  

“No I didn’t tell her. And that’s the problem, Empress she think-”

“Saku, don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.”

“You’ll handle it?”

“Don’t I always?”

He couldn’t argue with that, he just had to trust that Empress could sort it. “And also, don’t spend the week with your head up your ass crying, you’ve got a lot of grovelling to do kiddo.”

He nodded even though she couldn’t see him, as he knew that what just went down needed to be resolved, fast.

Meanwhile, on your end. You’re a mess. Sobbing all the time, tissues are your best friend, you’ve been waiting just waiting for a message or a call, or some form of communication. You just wanted to feel wanted by your boyfriend (can you even call him that now.)  

You spent the rest of the week at your parents, immersing yourself in your work and doing ‘self care’ things, trying to forget all about the argument you and Kiyoomi had.  

One day, you receive a letter, it wasn’t delivered by a mail man though. It was slid under your door, in a golden envelope sealed with a red hot wax seal. It read:

‘Dear Y/N,

My sweetheart, im sorry for how the week has been and I know a letter with only a fraction of how I feel won’t make up for how I acted that day. But im inviting you to join me at the Gardenia Botanical Gardens at 2 pm tommorow, to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.  

I know there is a big chance, you may not want to see me and I understand but please. I love you, so so much, that words can’t even describe. But I need you to see me apologise and I need to make it up to you.  

I hope to see you there, I’d wait the whole day for you. If you don’t show, I understand.

Sincerely, Sakusa Kiyoomi

P.S The theme is ‘summer hot day, tea with the queen’ - Atsumu’

You smile at the letter, but wonder if you should actually go or not. You did want to see him of course and get this all resolved, but you had your own plans for your anniversary which wouldn’t of been spoiled if he didn’t withhold his super-secret phone calls.

It took you hours to contemplate on what to do, but you decided to just sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow. In the morning, you knew what you wanted to do. Of course, you had to go, at least to hear him out and see if he really did cheat on you or not. For all you know he’s inviting you to tell you that he’s going to run away with his agent and his secret kids they had together. You shook the negative thoughts from your head and just repeated your mantra ‘hope for the best and prepare for the worst.’

When you got there, you didn’t exactly know where he would be but he said ‘botanical gardens’ so of course you decided to just wander around there. It was nice walking around and just smelling the roses, and seeing the pretty scenery.  

“Excuse me ma’am,” you hear someone say tugging on your leg “um that mister over there told me to give you these.” Looking down, you see a small boy who looked about the age of four with a crumpled up bunch of roses handing them to you.

“Oh thank you,” you say giving the kid a head pat “where is this ‘mister’ might I ask?”

“He’s over there!” The kid pointed behind him and you look to see Kiyoomi sitting under a white gazebo which is surrounded in your favorite flowers and the table is filled with food.

You walk over to your ‘boyfriend,’ with him not noticing your present yet. When you reach him you say “I think she stood you up buddy,” you joke making him jump abit startled.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, instantly beaming “You came you made it!” he stood up and pulled you into a hug, which you return before you remember why you came here in the first place.

“Oh I-” he says awkwardly

You decide to sit down pulling him down with you. You kind of sit there in uncomfortable silence, for a while until you both say.

“So I-”

“What are yo-”

You both laughed at your simultaneous comments, before Kiyoomi looks at you letting you speak. “What did you want to bring me here for?”

“I didn’t want, what happened last week to happen Y/N I-” he says looking a bit panicked “It wasn’t supposed to go this way.”

“Then how was it meant to go Sakusa.”

“Y/N, please don’t call me that, I know I made you upset but pleas-” he starts before getting distracted again “Y/N, I called you here to say a few things..”

“Them being.?” you ask a bit impatiently.

“I love you. I love you so much, you don’t even understand. Ever since I saw you at my volleyball game in our first year, in the stands just cheering us on. I knew that from that day, after I scored the winning point and our eyes met, that we were destined to be together. I just love you so much Y/N”

“Omi I don’t understand I-”

“Just let me finish please, It’s taken a while for me to say this. And trust me, there’s been so many times when I wanted to just say ‘hey Y/N let’s get married,’ but I couldn’t I was scared, and I wanted it to be perfect, so perfect. Because you deserve the world Y/N. That’s why I got Empress to help, I know that our conversations may seem odd, but I love you and she knows that she just wanted to help trust me. And she did, all this wouldn’t of been done if it wasn’t for her. But anyways Y/N what I waned to say was I love you and I love you and I-” he rambles on loosing track of his words.  

But in the midst of his speech, you hear all that you needed and responded with the only way you can.

“Yes.” you say simply, with a growing smile on your face.

“Yes?” he repeats confused “What do you meann ye- ohhh" Kiyoomi blushes embarrased that after all that he ended up ruining the thought out proposal he wanted to give you with his ramble.

“Im sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to say it like that I wanted it to be perfect and I-”

You shut him up with a kiss making his eyes widen as he reciprocates it anyways.  

“What did she say?” you hear someone shout from a far, and you look over to see the MSBY Jackals all standing there with shit eating grins on their faces.

“I said yes!” you yell back, to which they all cheer and rush towards you guys giving you both hugs and slapping Kiyoomi on the back.  

As the boys celebrate Omi finnally do what he’s been planning for ages, you get approached by Empress who awkwardly walks up to you. “ I didn’t want to leave the impression that me and Saku were any sort of thing?” she says

“Yeah I think it was definitely a big misunderstanding, it’s just that Omi was never around and whenever he was he was just talking to you and you know how it is.”

“I definitely know, I’d feel the same way if my boyfriend did that to me.”

“Oooh boyfriend?” you ask her feeling nosey on her romantic life.  

“Yeah boyfriend. You know iwaizumi hajime... the trainer?” she says smiling a bit when she said his name.

“The trainer! Nice.”

The rest of the night was fun and was basically an engagement party for you and Omi all you and friends just partying and celebrating yours and Omi’s love for each other. “Omi” you say getting his attention “Happy ten year anniversary babe”

“Happy anniversary, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

After the party you spend your months now planning for a big fat wedding, with the help of your new found bestie, Empress (who you obviously misjudged from the start.) You and Omi could never be happier, every thing was back to how it was before, maybe even better. And you definitely spent at least two Saturdays a month going out for picnics and it was now a tradition in your relationship, so in the end you did get your ‘aesthetic picnic date.’

AN: WHAT DID U GUYS THINK??

[vickyvicarious]

"People are/I am..."

I think these similes/metaphors are quite interesting and even pretty telling about the characters who are saying them. The usage of something so important and personal to the characters who are saying them... Not to mention the placement of these statements throughout the first three seasons of the show is really interesting to me.

I broke them all down individually below the cut, discussing how they apply to:

season-long themes

the core meaning of each quote, and how it relates to the people involved in that conversation

what they reveal about the character/profession of the person saying them

the significance of knife, lock, and pretzels to Eliot, Parker, and Hardison respectively

We start off very early in season one, with Eliot's quote in 1.03. Full version below:

Eliot: "What, you think the only thing I know how to do is bust heads?"

Nate: "No. Well, yeah."

Eliot: "Look, hold a knife like this, cuts through an onion. Hold a knife like this, cuts through, like, eight yakuza in four seconds. Screams, carnage. People are like knives. Everything's in context."

The team has only just decided to stay together at this point. They don't really know each other all that well. Hence this conversation being between Nate and Eliot - Nate's whole thing is that he's supposed to know how to make the best use of everyone's skills, but here we see that there is actually a lot he doesn't know about them. The first season is in a lot of ways about building that bond, getting to know one another and become, not only a team, but a little more than that.

Eliot's quote is all about hurting vs. providing. It's a dichotomy that is very important to him personally, as we see developed more later on in the series. He doesn't like going too long without a fight, but food and feeding people is equally important to him; in fact, he pretty much explicitly says learning to cook saved him. The context in which he's delivering this speech (getting caught up in the catering role to the point that he's neglecting the job) shows how much he can't just pick one over the other, can't just neglect either part of himself. The intertwining gets even more explicit when he uses his appetizers to help him defeat the Butcher later on in this episode.

But more than that, this is an early hint at Eliot's hidden smarts. Not just his incredible situational awareness/recall ("it's a very distinctive...") but his ability to strategize. He cultivates a persona that people expect to be limited to 'busting heads', but he's actually very clever and quite good at manipulating people. A quote like 'everything's in context' shows how much he understands that situations can change and people can be complicated - and maybe hints at his ability to recognize and use the given context for a situation to his own advantage. There's a reason he's the second-best grifter after Sophie, and this power-negative way he plays it is a big part of that.

Finally, knives are a tool that hold deep personal meaning to Eliot. I have my own headcanon about how rarely we see him wearing a knife harness, but even without that, we know that they are a rare tool that is important in both parts of his life. Even after he stopped using guns, he still used knives for his retrieval work (as seen in the Rashomon Job), and he uses them now to help prepare food that is his way of showing love and caring for people he cares about.

.

Moving on to Parker's quote. This happens in the first episode of S2:

Parker: [picking a lock] "I think people are like locks. Really complicated and frustrating, but you can't force them. You have to take time and be fiddly."

Hardison: Fiddly?"

Parker: "You learn to be patient and just wait until you hear the..."

[lock clicks open]

Once again, this is early on in its season. This quote also relates to the season as a whole, as well as the individual conversation members. The context here is that Hardison just told her he looked for her the whole time they were separated between seasons. He phrases it as a statement, but there's a bit of a question in there about why she didn't let him find her, or really, why isn't she letting him in emotionally. In this season, the team already want to trust and rely on one another. They care about each other, they're invested... but they're still holding onto secrets or doubts. This is the season that Sophie leaves and the team has to be patient and wait for her; that Nate's issues start causing problems for them and he's being complicated and frustrating. Everyone is on their way, but it's going to take time until they all fully 'unlock' - even for their own understanding of themselves (especially seen in Sophie and Nate this season).

Parker's quote is all about opening up. About revealing what has been kept hidden, and especially in the context of picking locks, of getting to see what someone else wants to protect. Given Parker's series-long arc of learning how to allow herself to be vulnerable and explore her emotions openly even when it puts her at risk, it's clear just how closely tied this is to her in particular. Similarly, it sums up her and Hardison's relationship extremely well. They both know that he likes her, and here she's kind of saying that she isn't necessarily against it but she isn't ready now. Still, if he's patient and fiddly... well, the lock opened, after all, that's the end of her metaphor. It's something of a promise that eventually she'll let him find her, so to speak.

This quote also gives great insight into Parker's work, similar to Eliot. She is a person who is patient and fiddly. She takes her time to look at all the complicated elements of a situation, to piece out every frustration and set it aside. Then, with a clear head, she thinks through a plan to deal with the situation. I believe Nate calls her thinking three-dimensional, turning things around in a way he doesn't. We also see her thorough and organized approach in the Inside Job. Parker may take great joy in her work, but she's also very professional about it and usually quite prepared. Fiddly could also refer to how adaptive she is.

And finally - just like knives for Eliot, locks are something that Parker loves. She gets extremely excited about safes and breaking into things, and it's clearly not just about whatever money might be inside. Parker delights in lockpicking, so by choosing this as her metaphor she is also applying a deeply beloved concept to people.

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Finally, Hardison's quote. This is a little different from the other two, but not by as much as you might think. It's from 3.05:

Parker: "So, the thing is. I think that maybe I might be having feelings. Like weird, weird, f-feelings... for... ...pretzels!"

Hardison: "Pretzels. ...Mkay. Well, they're right here when you want them."

Once again, this quote lines up well with the themes of the season. He's being supportive and understanding, he's not pressing her. Even though he clearly knows what she wants to say, she isn't ready to say it yet and so he lets her know that she can take her time and he'll still be here for her. In this season, we see a lot of the culmination of team members' journeys towards opening up. Sophie returns, the team conspire to get Nate back, we get insight into Parker, Eliot, and even Sophie's pasts. Those insights always come with some kind of old wound, but the rest of the team is there to support them and help them get through it together even if it takes them a while to open up. Even the season-long blackmail plot involves the team working to protect themselves together.

Hardison's quote is all about support and reliability. He demonstrates complete understanding, and he's very gentle and kind about it. He is open about his affection, but frames it in a way that is understandable and comfortable for Parker. Hence his quote being the first one that is a response to someone else - he's not volunteering his own metaphor here, he's listening to her hastily chosen one and adapting to it in the moment. This is incredibly relevant to his relationship with Parker, obviously - he spends four seasons patiently meeting her where she's comfortable. But most importantly, he opens up about his own feelings. He isn't hiding anything here, he's just not pressing the issue.

This quote isn't very relevant to Hardison's hacking, exactly. Perhaps in the way he sees what the situation needs and adapts himself to fit - he forges art and documents and outfits, he builds backstories and headquarters that turn into homes well-suited to the teams' individual needs, he learns how to hack without ever touching a computer by the Last Dam Job, he creates gadgets and equipment for the team, he in every way surpasses just 'hacking'. But again, hacking in itself is probably pretty adaptive, I assume, just in terms of code rather than people. Still, this quote is all about people. It is very revealing in his relationships with others most of all, in who he is as a person. He understands people. He knows how to relate to them, how to support them in a healthy way. He is the most reliable member of the team in an interpersonal sense, he is someone whose support you can always count on (even when Eliot lets him get drowned later this season, he doesn't take long to forgive him after getting insight into his history). He is a good person who goes out of his way to help other people - and he is always willing to be 'emotionally butt-nekkid'. Without pushing past other peoples' boundaries, Hardison is clearly honest about how much he cares. He simply tailors his displays of affection in ways that best fit each particular relationship (snarking with Eliot, supportive with Parker, etc.).

Pretzels aren't inherently meaningful to Hardison. Not before this scene. But I think it reflects really well on who he is as a person that he adapts to them so quickly... And I also think that pretzels specifically are a great match. Eliot is a knife, Parker is a lock. Hardison is pretzels - not dangerous, not secretive, but comforting. Food (which matters so much to Eliot), and even a type of food that can last pretty well until you've in the mood for it (patient like/for Parker).