#another completely self indulgent meme

[crabsnpersimmons]

Y'ALL HAVE ME LIKE

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID

BUT Y'ALL HAVE BEEN SO SWEET

I'M SORRY IT'S TAKING ME SO LONG TO REPLY

I WANNA DRAW THINGS BACK

AND I WILL

after my exam tomorrow :')

[fxrina]

tag dump

[sulumuns-dootah]

Getting comforted when they find you having a breakdown in the shower

A/N: I'm once again writing something self-indulgent based off something inspired by real events (I'm fine now, dw) ^^

Alsoo(!) next post is gonna be another batch of memes ^^

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

Characters: Satan, Paimon, Ppyong, Foras, Beelzebub, Gusion, Beleth, Morax

    ༺☆༻

The water has long gone cold by now, wanting to pay no attention to it, but the foresight of your water bill forcing you to turn it off. You're sobbing, sitting in the bathtub of the bath-shower combo, clutching your knees to your chest. As you're taking another shaky breath, a loud banging on the door fails to startle you.

“Y/N, you in there?! Answer me or I'm breaking down this door!” a deep voice booms from the other side. You don't doubt his threats and the thought that instead of bill for water, you'd be spending money on a new door is not much help for your situation right now and so you answer in a low voice: “I'm here.”

Just wanting to make him leave so you can collect yourself at your own pace without having to snap back into your usual personality, you take deep breaths so you can calm down a little bit and sound normal if he ask something more.

Instead, Satan commands you: “Unlock this fucking door.” His tone is stern, but not as angry, like initially. You don't want to move any more than extremely necessary, so you just respond: “If you turn the bolt under the handle up, it'll unlock.” There are few seconds filled with sounds of scratching at the door handle and Satan's low mumbling, followed by a freezing breeze, indicating that the door is wide open.

Looking to your left, in the dim light of fairy lights, there's a faint silhouette of a short demon, whose horns are sticking up, over the shower curtain. The tiny room and your position closely to the ground make him seem bigger than he really is.

The shower curtain is roughly pulled aside, revealing him fully. His expression is tense, just like when he's grinding his teeth, but he's not doing that currently.

Upon seeing your form, Satan huffs and quickly unzips his overall and sheds it, kicking it aside. Once his shoes have followed suit, Satan situates himself in the bathtub behind you, spreading his legs on each side of you. Two muscly arms wrap around your whole form and pull him more close to him.

The angry demon then proceeds to gently rock the both of you from side to side while whispering reassurances into your ear, making you feel safe for the time being.

    ༺☆༻

“Y/N~? Where are you?” a melodic voice chimes from somewhere in your house and you internally groan. You love Paimon to bits, but please, not right now. Now is the worst moment for that cheery attitude of theirs.

“Are you in hereee?” the cheery demon lightly taps on the wooden door to the bathroom, you're hiding in. 'Maybe if I'm quiet, he'll think I'm not home and just leave' comes to your mind. Well it's worth the shot. Or at least would be, if Paimon didn't know how to unlock every door in your house. The now amplified clacks of their heels on the tile make you more and more exhausted, as if your body only now realised how late in the night it is.

Soon enough, the colorful demon is peering down at you, after having slid the shower curtain aside. Their usual happy expression quickly turns into that adorable pout they so rarely wear. “Y/N~? Are you okaaay?”

It's impossible to lie them straight in the eye. “I'm not.” are the only words you manage to muster out before tears flood your eyes again. “Nooo~, Y/N don't cryyy!” Paimon quickly kicks off his shoes and steps into the bathtub with you, sitting down opposite of you with their legs crossed, completely disregarding the fact that the tub is still wet.

You shake your head, trying to chase the tears away. Paimon's hands gently grab your face and you're forced to look into those beautiful eyes of his as their thumbs wipe away the tears that escaped your eyes.

They slowly pull you closer so they can plant a kiss on your forehead, the bridge of your nose, and finally, the tip of your nose. You can't help but smile a bit. Their cheery energy seems to be gently helping to lift up all the gloom.

“ Y/N~, tell meee... why are you cryyyinggg?” they pout again with their face close to yours, still not fully withdrawn from kissing down your nose.

“I-It's nothing, really...” you don't want to burden them with your temporary moments of feeling like you have no control over your own life. You'd feel selfish for dumping all your worries on someone who seems so carefree.

“Well then maybeee, we could do something more fun~? Like paint our naaails, ooor facemasksss~?” they start trying to find something to help you get your mind off those gloomy thoughts and bring some more happiness in.

    ༺☆༻

You've been crying for a good while now, but all of a sudden the tears seem to be hard to get out. Like someone's watching you. But that's nonsense. Your playlist stopped playing about 15 minutes ago and the place where you live is so quiet at night, you'd hear if anyone broke in or even walked around. With a slight shake of your head you dismissed the thought that it's just the innate urge to perform even while completely alone. Maybe you should just get up now and distract yourself with something before going to sleep.

That was until you lifted your head and noticed a certain little lump looking over at you from the cabinet above your head – Ppyong. He looked worried, but also like he's on some important mission.

“The hell, Ppyong? How long have you been there?” you call out at him, slightly annoyed. So that's why you couldn't cry anymore.

“Just a while. The angel attacks aren't as bad, so Majesty Satan allowed me to visit you tonight, aye!” he seemed to get happier, but then his face fell once again,”And then when I couldn't find you anywhere I saw that your bathroom door was locked, so I figured you'd be there, aye! But you were being too quiet so I slid in to see if you're okay.”

“Aw, Ppyong...” you exclaim, absorbing what the little lump just told you, “but why didn't you say something?”

“His Majesty Satan sometimes gets like this too and if anyone disturbs him, he gets very irritated, aye! So I just stood guard, making sure nothing happens to you while you're in such delicate state, aye!” the little red demon flies down to your level, all worries seemingly gone and instead replaced with courage of a knight.

“Aw, that's so very considerate of you, Ppyong!” you can't help but smile. He's too adorable and he meant well. Ppyong's face also seems to light up as well.

“Ugh, okay, let me get out of here and I might find something for you in the fridge.” you start getting out of the bathtub, knowing fully well that you have a whole unopened box of chocolate truffles, that you're happy you've held off on opening.

    ༺☆༻

You're shivering out of nowhere, despite just before your breakdown having taken a steaming shower and the steam filling up the small room shouldn't have escaped this soon. The only time you feel this type of shiver is when you're showering with one of your favorite demons. Wait, maybe..? But if one of them was here, you'd see some sort of silhouette behind the shower curtain. Unless..? Your eyes widen at the sudden realisation, that there's only one demon you know that has the ability to be unseen.

“It's kinda rude to observe people in the shower without them knowing, you know?” you say with irritation lacing your words.

“I-I'm terribly sorry, miss Y/N. I was tasked to check up on you and found you like this. I wasn't sure what to do. I should've announced myself. Please excuse my mistake and overstep of your boundaries.” a silhouette forms on the other side of shower curtain. You can barely make out that Foras' head is bowed down in honest revernce.

“Oh, okay then.” you accept his apology, not in the mood for empty pleasantries.

“If I may inquire, would you kindly share with me what has gotten you into such state?” you can hear the genuine worry and interest in his voice. He wants to help if he's able to.

“Foras, it's nothing and a lot at the same time. Are you sure you want to know? It's kinda a heavy subject.” you ponder if you really want to share all your worries and anxieties with someone. Talking about them feels like letting them win, afterall. As long as they're contained purely in your mind, they can be pushed to the back and ignored, but by voicing them feels like giving them more power.

“Please share. I'm all ears. A problem shared is problem halved.” you can hear the tall demon shift from standing to kneeling on the floor right next to you, the shower curtain being the only divide between the two of you.

    ༺☆༻

The room is quiet save for the soft sound of water dripping from the faucet in front of you. Until it becomes accompanied by the unmistakeably annoying high-pitched buzzing sound of a fly. For a normal person it would mean that their bathroom isn't as well sealed, but you instantly knew that it's not just any normal fly.

The annoying buzzing finally stops when the insect lands right in the bathtub in front of you after having flown multiple circles above your head, as if announcing itself to you. It doesn't stay there for very long though. You're quick to scare it away with your hand since you're not in the mood for Beelzebub's shenanigans right now. Thinking you're alone again, you sigh and close your eyes, resting your head on your knees.

The comfort of being alone doesn't last for long, though. As soon as you're unable to hear the flight of your insect intruder, a strong presence makes itself known behind your back. You don't need to look around to know that it's The Lord of Flies himself.

A slender, tan finger pokes your cheek, but you ignore it. Normally it would maybe make you smile, but not now. Beelzebub lets out a little curious hum and proceeds to poke your cheek few more times. Still finding you unresponsive to his annoying behavior.

“Aw, you're no fun, Y/N! I take the time out of my day to come see you and this is how you are?” a low voice playfully scolds you over your shoulder. Somehow, even with closed eyes you know he's sporting his significant smirk.

“I'm not fun today, Beel. You might as well go do your work instead being here.” you say while turning your head to the other side - away from him, still resting it on your knees with eyes closed. The way he's still so cheerful makes you start feeling slightly angry.

“Hmm... Nah. Id' much rather spend time with you even if you're not fun. At least it's a good excuse for me.” he chuckles and leans over your other shoulder. You're clearly showing multiple cues that you'd prefer to be alone right now, but he chooses to overlook them.

“Cool. Thanks for your support in these hard time, I guess.” you say with an overly sarcastic tone. Seriously, can this guy take a hint?

“Oh, c'mon, don't be like that! Here -” Beelzebub's two strong arms pick you up like nothing and make you lay on his chest, holding you there so you can't escape, “that's better. Now, tell me all that's making you so cranky today, hm?”

    ༺☆༻

You phone has stopped ringing for the third time now. Each of those times you had no energy to even get up and decline the call. It's really late at night, so you can use the excuse that you're just sleeping.

Suddenly there are some pointed knocks at the bathroom door. They sound so forceful and you know exactly who is on the other side of the door.

“Hey, you've been in there for a long time now. You okay in there?” the tired voice of none other than Gusion sounds off.

“Y-yeah, everything's fine...” you try to sound as okay as possible, but the 'fine' comes out more as a loud whisper. Still, the last thing you want is to add another thing to Gusion to worry about.

There's a short quiet pause, making you think he did leave you alone, but instead a swift draft of chilling air finds your trembling figure followed by a quiet thud of a door being closed. The presence of the smartest demon fills the room.

Soon enough the shower curtain is partially pushed away in front of you. Gusion sits on the exposed part of bathtub's edge and peers down at you with compassion in his very tired eyes.

“So, what is going on?” a simple question prompts you to bite your lip and shake your head to stop the tears filling your eyes.

“Hey, hey... Focus on me, okay? Whatever it is, you're strong enough to fight it. It won't win. Even if it's a bit of struggle, you'll crush it, okay?” a gentle hand pushes a wet strand from your face and travels under your chin to lift it up to meet his soft gaze.

“Gus-... I... Am I unlovable?” more eyes spill from your eyes as you search for an answer in his expression.

Gusion's expression turns to one of surprise and worry: “What? Absolutely not. Don't you see all the people and demons around you who adore you?”

“I mean, yeah, but in the grand scheme of things, it's like I can't have anything nice for too long and most people just eventually leave.” you can't contain your tears anymore and your vision gets so blurry, you can't even identify his features in the dimly lit room as his dark hair and clothes become part of the darkness.

“Oh stop saying dumb shit like that and come here.” Gusion's expression is back to his usual as far as you can tell as he simply reaches out for you in the bath and manoeuvres you into his lap, pulling you into a very tight hug.

    ༺☆༻

You've been sitting in the tub for quite some time and the cold is starting to envelope you when the sound of heavy footsteps in your hallway startles you. Yet, in the state that you're in and slowly getting paralysed by the cold, you wouldn't mind at all if someone actually invaded your house. But it's probably one of your demons, who will see that you're not home and go back to Hell. Hopefully.

The footsteps stop in front of the door to your bathroom and then the door flies open as if it wasn't locked in the first place. That's gonna be fun to replace tommorrow.

Just as you're about to turn to your side and give your intruder a piece of your mind, the shower curtain is yanked away to reveal Beleth with a tense expression on his face. It's quiet and still as he takes a drag of his cigarette, analysing the situation. As the cloud of smoke dissipates in the air, the fallen angle drops his blazer on the ground. In a second a towel is placed around your shoulders and you're being carried to your bedroom.

“Wh-what are you doing?” you squeak as you're being set, now dried off, on your bed. The way he handles you feels like you weigh next to nothing.

“Takin' care of ya.” he shrugs and looks around for some piece for clothing for you to put on. The way he dresses you in the oversized t-shirt he found, seems like he does it almost every day. But you suppose that might be because he does similar things while serving Belphegor.

“But-” you're interrupted from your protest by a light slap on your bare ass, “No complainin'.” Blinking away the surprise makes the next few seconds seem like a series of photos telling a story of Beleth picking you back up and laying in your bed, setting you cuddled up next to him.

“So... How 'bout ya tell me 'bout what's worryin' ya pretty lil head?” he lowly purrs when the blanket is pulled over the two of you as he's pulling out another cigarette and lighting it.

    ༺☆༻

“Y/N, is everything okay in there?” a gentle voice calls onto you from behind the locked doors.

You don't answer. You can't answer and even if you tried to assure Morax that you're okay, your voice would betray you. It would surely sound tired and strained from all those silent screams you've let out.

The door opens despite being locked. At least Morax is considerate enough to use magic and not tear through like others would. The sound of soft steps and rustling fabric indicate that the bandaged demon walked in and knelt next to the bathtub. The shower curtain complains a bit as he tries to move the plastic away, but not tugging enough to make the rings fully slide away.

A red-haired bandaged head peeks in to fill in the opening. A kind, pink eye scans over your whole form, looking for any sign of harm that would've caused your silence. You seem to be in good shape. At least physically, that is. Your glassy, puffy eyes tell a different story about your mental state, however. At this moment Morax wishes that Buer - his mental wellness colleague was with him.

“Y/N.” he decides to softly say your name to try and get your attention. It's rare for him to be worried for others, unlike others worrying for him.

Just now you realise, that you're shivering, but thanks to the shower curtain not being fully pulled away, there's still some heat trapped in the shower. You finally look at Morax with your eyes still watery and ready to cry more.

“Morax, I-” your sentence is interrupted by the very same demon reaching above you and wrapping a towel around you like a blanket. As skinny as the healing demon looks, he's able to get up and lift you out of the bathtub while pushing the curtain fully way to sit you on the edge of the tub, kneeling down in front of you again. His hand comes up to your face to move away any wet strands of your hair from your face that have fallen there and stroke your cheek with his thumb.

Meeting your gaze, he slowly gets up and sits next to you as one of his hands comes around your side to pull you into his chest in an embrace.

[sincerely-sofie]

Seeing as you have finished writing the script for your AU thingy, I wanna know, how?

Like, were you motivated the whole time? Or was it a on and off writing type thing?

i'm trying to write but I don't know if I have the motivation...

How did you keep the motivation if so?

Oh man. I have so much to say about writing and creativity that I could make an entire series of posts talking about the subject, but I'll try to keep things orderly and brief.

Disclaimer: I should let you know that I have never finished a writing project before recently finishing my TPiaG AU. Keep that in mind when reading the advice I offer— the tips I give have only been put into work in my own life over the course of the last couple of months, but they’ve proven very effective in my experience!

Sofie Creativity Tips Episode 1, go!!!

Was I motivated the whole time I was writing TPiaG / How did I stay motivated?

Absolutely not. If I hadn’t provided myself a detailed chapter-by-chapter outline for TPiaG before starting the writing process, I would have given up thanks to a mix of writer’s block and absent motivation. Motivation is a fickle muse and prone to ditching me for months on end, so I’ve adapted by trying not to rely on it, but also by creating new motivation rather than clinging to past motivation. I create motivation for myself in two ways: removing friction when writing and being my own fandom.

Removing friction is pretty simple— I create very detailed chapter outlines that remove any fear of writer’s block, set up my devices in a way to make it easy to access my manuscripts and notes, download premade writing playlists that have Pomodoro session break timers built into them, and more. Anything that makes the writing process easier to get into and enjoy doing, I make sure to incorporate into my life.

Being my own fandom is less intuitive, but a thousand times more rewarding in terms of motivation. I make memes of my characters. I write self-indulgent snippets on the side. I make AUs of my own work. I make playlists and save audio clips that suit the characters. I draw comics exploring concepts that might not get into the manuscript itself but that I want to make content for regardless. Basically, I dive in deep into the story, characters, and world, and try to do so with the enthusiasm that I give other people’s projects.

(That part is extra fun, because if I have a headcanon, it automatically becomes canon to whatever AU or original project I’m working on. I have all the power in the world when working like this, and it’s very fun.)

What changed and made it so I finished my first ever written project?

This isn’t exactly what was asked, but because I have eschewed motivation as the main driving force in my writing process, I figured I’d give another insight into how TPiaG went against the pattern of half-started and swiftly abandoned projects that came before it and actually got finished. Late into October, I adopted a new method of producing first drafts. Previously, I would spend weeks polishing the same chapter and would only move on to the next chapter once the current one was perfect. My new method is the complete opposite. I’ve started calling it Writing BFF:

Write bad

Write fast

Write fun

First up, write bad. The point of this is not to waste your time writing prettily during your first draft. Don’t bother agonizing over how to reword that one sentence to be more elegant when it does the job well enough to get its point across. Don’t go off on a 30-minute research tangent in the middle of a writing session because you want to fact-check that one detail and make sure it’s perfectly accurate when you could just put a placeholder detail in brackets and CTRL+F search and plug in something accurate later on. Don’t write pretty, write bad. And be okay with it. You can’t edit an empty page, so fill the page with as much garbage as possible so that you can turn it into gold later on.

Next, write fast. This is only effective when paired with writing bad. Don’t pause, don’t hesitate, don’t deliberate. Write as much as you can and do it as fast as you can. This idea is best illustrated by Chris Fox’s book 5,000 Words Per Hour, where he talks about increasing your WPM (words per minute) and how it makes everything about your writing better. The person who creates a beautiful first draft once every three years is doing okay, but the person who cranks out a complete manuscript every three months learns leagues more about writing than the first person does by the end of three years. The second person has practiced outlining, drafting, editing, publishing, and more with every manuscript completed. The faster you write, the better you get, because practice makes perfect and quantity begets quality.

Finally, write fun. I write what I enjoy, and if I’m not enjoying it, I pivot the project so that I enjoy it again. I like writing deeply personal stories, so pretty much everything I write is heavily based on my life and experiences— TPiaG included. Grovyle’s portrayal is deeply influenced by my experience being an elder sibling who has been a bad example of self-talk, and cleaned up my act because my younger sister started echoing how I spoke to myself. Dusknoir’s portrayal is informed by my experiences with being the therapist / mom friend in different social circles as well as attending actual formal therapy. Twig is the character that my experiences have the greatest influence on in her portrayal, and I joke about her being a self-insert, but ultimately all of the characters are self-inserts to some extent. I also enjoy low-stakes and slow slice-of-life stories that are driven by character growth. If I ever stop having fun with a project, I inject more of myself and my preferences into my work to get it back into my favor.

TL;DR / Writing advice lightning round

Write as badly as possible as quickly as possible, and have fun as you do it. Momentum yields motivation and stagnancy yields doubt. Editing comes only after the first draft is complete. Be your own fandom and your project’s biggest fan. Give yourself direction and ward against writer’s block by making detailed chapter-by-chapter outlines. Make the writing process as easy and enjoyable as possible. Motivation is a lie and if you chase after it instead of making your own, you’ll be writing on hard mode for the rest of your life. Reject perfectionism, embrace flawesomeness.

If I didn’t answer your question right, let me know! I’ll do my best to correct it.

[myfandomrealitea]

I'm sorry I just saw the screenshot of the reblog by that something-wizard. I just had to say: how DARE they to assume someone else's irl condition? how DARE they to assume how my life is and call me privileged based on the fact that I don't want politics or similar things in my fandom space? I'm going through a very HARD time in fact and because I'm dealing with those very things you said irl and CAN'T VOID THEM, I don't want to hear about them in my fandom space! There are more than one server, blog or similar spaces for each fandom. If one doesn't allow irl topics you can join another that does. If there isn't any? Make your own! I and others don't owe you anything, we don't have to explain why we don't want irl topics discussed in our spaces nor do we have to explain our living conditions to you! Also, having rules for our own spaces(blogs, servers and such) is not censorship. We are not saying "don't discuss irl issues in any fandom space or anywhere online ever art all !!!" We are saying "this is a specific place I created and I don't want those things discussed here, there are other places for that".

And to the op of that post and this blog: I'm sorry for my rant here. I just thought someone has to be very self-centered to think the way they do, especially as I go through a hard time their post was a punch to my gut today. Also thank you.

Based on the rest of the blog and their general responses to people they're just an ignorant troll trying to white-knight the internet and earn brownie points for virtue signalling. You'll see a lot of that when getting into online spaces revolving around media analysis or critical discussion.

Frankly, the best way to deal with those people is just to completely and blatantly block and ignore them. The less attention they get for their parading the less satisfying it is for them. Or if you do engage, do it only in a passive way like memes and reaction pictures, which don't actually give them what they're looking for—the chance to argue with you and look superior.

They just wind up looking like a dick.

The vast majority of the people lashing out at me on that post are people who firmly believe that because there is suffering in the world we must all suffer in solidarity. That we must relentlessly and restlessly fight in their honor.

Some might say that ideal is noble. I say its fucking stupid. Psychologists say its fucking stupid. People who have burnt themselves out trying to fulfil that expectation say its fucking stupid.

The people wilfully launching into the worst bad-faith assumptions about that post are the ones who need to sit back and reflect upon themselves. And possibly go back into the educational system.

I'm used to people making the worst assumptions of me. It doesn't bother me. It never will because they don't know me and all their grandstanding just makes them look like a judgemental idiot. I'm here to say what I think and to share factual information, and I'm doing so. If they disagree with that they're welcome to, but I'm not obligated to indulge them on it.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2019)

Me: I think I'll e-borrow this dark fantasy book with a cool cover. Book cover blurb: This book has lesbian necromancers! Me: ... Me: Okay, I'll still read it, but the fact that that's a selling point is a bit of a red flag to me.

Because I've read a fair amount of stories where the writer thought being gay (or some other minority) was inherently interesting, even if the actual story was completely generic.

I call it the "Gone Home" problem.

Sure enough, I thought the book was mediocre. Not because of the lesbian sub-subplot. Because I don't think it was written for people like me.

I think it was written for people like the stereotypical tumblr/AO3 user.

Spoilers for Gideon the Ninth;

So, the main character is gay, and she's horny. In fact, she keeps talking about her "girlie mags" through the first act, specifically to piss off her boss (who’s actually younger than her, but the de-facto head of their House). There's a reason for that, but we'll get to it later.//

Memes At one point, Gideon goes “You can't just ask someone why they're X.” At another, she tells someone “Slow your roll.”

This story is in the distant future. Humanity is ruled over by an immortal, necromantic God-Emperor, and his necromantic Houses with different domains. But apparently a character whose idea of literature is reading skin books can reference memes from before she was born. And not in a Deadpool way. She just does it.

Even the narration does it.

This is exactly the sort of thing Tumblr - or your average fanfic writer - would think is clever. And I speak from (cringy) experience. 

Also, I once read a popular fic which had an almost 1-to-1 reference to a certain meme scene in Firefly. Down to Jayne's hat, which wasn't even there in the original.

Took me right out of the fic. I even left a comment on the AO3 page; "welp, this is where you went too far with the references."

And before you ask, no, it didn't serve the story. Didn't really develop character, for the victims or the bad guy. It was just self-indulgent.

So, on top of constantly Deadpooling - without the excuse of breaking the 4th wall and being in a comedy - Gideon just generally acts like a surly, edgy teenager.

Because she is.

She is literally an edgy teenager.

She's trained with the greatsword. For the plot of this book, she has to accompany the head of her Great House, the Ninth House, to a house head meeting. They all have to bring their "cavalier primaries"; bodyguards/champions/armsmen to the house head.

So they give her a crash course in the rapier and obsidian knuckledusters, because standards and aesthetic (in-universe).

Gideon trained with the greatsword because she wants to join the military and escape. She hates the Ninth House, and the first thing she does in the fic is leave, pretty much the second she turns 18.

Which her House head Harrowhawk sabotages.

Harrow says she'll let Gideon go if Gideon acts as the CavPri. Because she's quite possibly the only person in the house who could, and the official CavPri ain't up to it.

Harrow, incidentally, is only 17. Her parents are the nominal head of house, but they've been dead for years, and Harrow has been puppeting them while running the show.

Come to think, it's not clear where Gideon gets the girly mags from. Her House seems pretty isolated. Maybe she trades for it with shuttle pilots. Or steals it off them. 

It's also not clear where her hair gel for her mohawk comes from. Or who cuts her hair. Her House does have food, but it's apparently just...delivered. From somewhere.

Oh, right, the House system.

I thought the 9th House was the necromancer house. Nope, they all are. They just have different duties and specialties.

The meeting is so they can compete to figure out the formula to become Lyctors. Which is basically some powerful necro-immortal. Right-hand men and women to the Emperor himself.

You know that meme about Marvel movies?

You know, the idea that they’re all shallow and with constant tension-breaking quips, instead of sincerity?

This book feels an awful lot like that.

Even after the ending, there's a serious in-universe document - which includes the vital info that necromancers permanantly skip leg day, arm day, and any other day, hence the cavaliers - followed by a random tension-breaking joke.

There's a strong Catholic theme going on here. Including the fact that our hero is named after a big-name religious figure, but is a girl, and gay, and hates her religion and traditions.

Muir, I watch anime. You're gonna have to try a little harder to push my religious buttons.

So, what does the Empire do? What is the life of the average citizen like?

We don't know.

What would happen if Harrow had the power? Or any of the others? What's their Lyctor campaign platform, so to speak?

We don't know that either.

What does Gideon actually want to do with her freedom? Heck, what's the soldier's life like? Does she want to learn more about the mom who left her with the house and then died?

Good question.

Noticing a theme here?

I understand the idea to keep things contained while you're setting up the world. But you really need to remember there's a world outside the isolated location.

-So, time for the obligatory Vorkosigan Saga comparision. That series cares an awful lot about the little people, no pun intended. 

Miles explicitly dedicates his life to fighting for the little guy. And he regularly runs into and makes friends with complete randos, and helps them out, helps them become better people.

The main plot turns into a murder mystery. Ironic, considering, y'know, necromancers.

People are dying, but the potential victims are mostly 15 people I don't know and don't care about. I don't even really care about Harrow or Gideon herself. The whole thing's like Daria.

(Or so I assume, because I've never seen or been interested in Daria, but one of the inside cover blurbs made the comparison.)

I want to say I dislike High School drama, but I watch a lot of high school anime. And I used to watch Glee and Riverdale. And I liked Mean Girls and Easy A and Election and I still want to see Grease.

Okay, but is it the whole "locked house mystery" aspect? 

Well, no, because I like the Knives Out movies, and the Agatha Christie novels that inspired them. Like And Then There Were None (10 Little Native Americans Indians).

Gideon doesn't really do much. In fact, there's literally a bit where someone gets murdered on her watch, and she feels guilty for falling asleep. it's obvious survivor's guilt, but I can't remember if she actually changed in any way.

I think there’s hints that she’s a tsundere toward Harrow, but I couldn’t actually tell. She has a ghost of a romance arc with a Mark 1 Ill Girl who can’t even leave her bed, but it would be boring even if it was straight.

The funny thing is, I stumbled onto the second book in the series, and did research, so I borrowed the first book, and now I don't want to read the second book either. 

Even though Gideon is dead, and it’s about Harrow.

Also, when the story shifts to Harrow's perspective, it becomes a lot more serious. The narration jokes are because we're following Gideon’s perspective. 

Even without that, I'm not sure I care about this world or trust Muir enough to spend few more hundred pages with her.

Though the cover is cool...

[mrv3000]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @starrybouquet

1. how many works do you have on Ao3? 58

2. what's your total Ao3 word count? 187,625

3. what fandoms do you write for? Arrested Development, Doctor Who, Good Omens, Iron Man, Sherlock, Star Wars, Stargate SG-1 (fics not on AO3: Alias, Gilmore Girls, Labyrinth, The 10th Kingdom)

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Cautiously Un-Pessimistic (Star Wars)

Dear Force (Star Wars)

Your Jedi is in Another Castle (Star Wars)

Jedi Ex Machina (Star Wars)

The Jedi is a Lie (Star Wars)

All of these are recent fics, probably because a lot of my stuff is older and was mainly written on other sites (LiveJournal, email lists, and even my own website), and when I moved them to AO3 I backdated them. Of course Star Wars is a BIG fandom so they still might have had the most kudos.

5. do you respond to comments? I try!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably the 200 word fic Finally (Star Wars) where Vader's having a hot girl summer thinking about torturing Obi-Wan.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most everything I write is light and fluffy, but maybe Inertia (Doctor Who) because it was an actual fix-it fic. The Doomsday episode of Doctor Who aired, I had a breakdown... bon appetit.

8. Do you get hate on fics? A very mild comment here or there, but I write fairly mild fic.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Revelation: I've done a few anonymous prompt fills on kink memes in the past. But I don't have anything on AO3.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I wrote a crossover between The 10th Kingdom and Labyrinth a billion years ago. But generally I don't.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I have vague memories of Duck Soup (SG-1) being stolen, which was spotted by people almost immediately because there aren't many stories out there that revolve around a farting duck. 🦆

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! It's nifty!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yup! With @go-ldy and @shinyopals and also josephides on LiveJournal!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Um...probably Doctor/Rose, although I'm not much into it these days. They gave me serotonin for years.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Uh.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I'm fairly good at parroting characters' speaking patterns. It goes a long way if the dialog sounds like something the characters would say.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot. I'd love to be able to churn out a 100k fic.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Two languages in one head? No one can live at that speed!

19. First fandom you wrote for? My very first was The 10th Kingdom, where I wrote 2 whole fics that were posted on an email list. I think I've still got them somewhere, although they're not on AO3.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Right now it's Dear Force (Star Wars) because its completely self-indulgent and exactly my sense of humor.

Tagging people who I've spotted on my dash with fic in the recent past so I know they actually write fanfic. I KNOW I'm forgetting people. I'm sorry!! If you want to do it, go for it!

@gabolange @nandamai @elismor @dettiot @wonderlandleighleigh @shinyopals @oodlyenough @go-ldy @abadplanwellexecuted @noblealice @geneeste @satans-poptarts @complementaryhalves @afhyer

[mysticbeaver]

randomly asking cuz im curious lmao but what kind of music are you into? what are your favorite artists and songs? from what i've seen you're mostly into classic rock, right? (which btw the classic rock to eene pipeline is really funny and quite fascinating but that's another story.)

Oh I'm glad you asked!!! Boy now I can go on a rant 😁

Ok, I'm one of those folks who have a hard time explaining what kind of music I listen to... classic rock was definitely my upbringing since I was a child - like the Who, Led Zep, AC/DC (I feel slightly embarassed by that nowadays, sorry AC/DC fans 😅 good memories tho).

As a teen I started going into 70s progressive rock, especially King Crimson, which I consider my favorite band ever for the simple fact I've been able to stomach pretty much everything they ever put out, even the most self-indulgent and tough to listen stuff (the "ProjeKcts"). I also fell in love with some art-pop (Peter Gabriel, David Sylvian) and generally got more adventurous and tried to slowly discover other artists (but always unabashedly behind the times haha). I went through a Bowie phase, tbf I still don't think I truly "get" Bowie lol, but one of his most interesting albums to me is Outside, probably the weirdest thing he's ever done. I also got into some electronic stuff, Tangerine Dream, Yello (two funny looking swiss guys, you might be familiar with that meme song Oh Yeah lmao). I'm also extremely familiar with Tom Waits... (I'll mention Captain Beefheart since we're at it) I've delved into jazz here and there, Pat Metheny is the first thing that comes to mind, but I'm pathetically ignorant on the genre.

The latest artist I went through a phase and now consider one of my favorites is the band Talk Talk. Their short history is mindblowing, they went from "80s one-hit-wonder pop band" to making music completely out of its time. The Color Of Spring is the best 80s-pop-album-that-doesn't-sound-80s I've ever heard, and Spirit Of Eden is... something, lmao. That album and their last one, Laughing Stock were apparently very influential on later artists in the 90s and onwards, and are now considered masterpieces despite not selling very well at the time. The enigmatic band leader Mark Hollis eventually took the genius decision to... retire (gasp) and disappear from public view for the rest of his life (I think some "artists" out there could learn a lesson from that 🤐)

John Martyn's album One World is another recent favorite, a folk rock guitarist who got kinda trippy/experimental and recorded an album by a small lake, sometimes recording the sound of the speakers in the distance... there's a beautiful track on there called Small Hours where you can even faintly hear the geese.

Finally I want to mention two historical italian artists I'm familiar with - Franco Battiato and Lucio Battisti. I've always shunned music from my country when I was younger, but I'm trying to make up for it, and those two really captivated me (although if you grew up in Italy you can't escape hearing Battisti's more famous hit songs, also apparently Bowie was a big fan, so I've read...)

All of this is just the tip of the iceberg, what came to my head right now. Btw, I wanna know what the "classic rock to eene pipeline" is haha

[skimmingmilk]

H for that question post, if you want!

H: How would you describe your writing style?

Oooh, that's a good one...

I think "character-driven" is definitely a key factor in my writing style, since I tend to use the third person limited viewpoint for narration. I like the character's voice to bleed into the narration, which dictates the tone and pacing for certain scenes. I like getting glimpses into the character's thoughts through the narration, especially when I need to pick up the pace or get some variation in the sentences.

The characters are also my favorite tools when it comes to storytelling, so I feel like they typically lead the way and the plot and setting kind of adapt or orbit around them.

I feel like my style also nudges the line of purple prose, like it's testing how close it can get before crossing over completely, lol. There's a time and place for setting the scene and immersing myself and readers in the descriptions, but sometimes less is more when it comes to making a big impact, so I try and pull back on the reins a bit whenever I worry my prose is becoming a bit too lavender-tinted ^^;; I like my writing to sound pretty, but not if it's at the story's expense.

I've also been told my writing is schmaltzy before, and I 100% agree with that assessment xD I live for the schmaltz. However, I don't want my writing to come off as insincere or overly saccharine, which can be a slippery slope if I get too self-indulgent with it. So while I typically keep an overall sentimental tone, I try to use it more as a payoff or reward whenever I want my fiction to feel a bit more grounded. Another example of the less is more approach. I don't always succeed, but I'm at least mindful and self-aware enough to know it's a conscious choice like 90% of the time, lol.

Thank you so much for the ask! <3

Fanfic Writer Ask Meme

[whimsyswastry]

Oooh, ME: Leviathan? I'd love to hear more about that from the wip meme.

This one is my pride and joy!!! It's the WIP I've been working on most over the last couple years and is closest to being complete. I hope to have the whole thing edited and to start posting by Halloween.

I was trying to knock out the ending of another story during NaNo 2022, but it wasn't going anywhere. So I opened up a new document and just started writing the most self-indulgent drivel I could think of... and Leviathan was born.

It's a slight AU on the Leviathan DLC. It's how would the relationship between Shepard and Kaidan have progressed if they hadn't seen one another since Horizon and were then forced to investigate the possibility of a Reaper killer.

It's especially self-indulgent in part because exes to lovers is one of my favorite tropes (I love a happy ending), but also because when they land on Despoina, they don't crash land on a debris field of downed ships, but instead find an ExoGeni underwater research facility harboring a few secrets.

I initially started this fic to try and flex my romance writing skills (which are still pretty lacking), but honestly, Shepard's scenes with her bestie (Joker) steal the show:

She banged around in the cabinets, looking for something to eat to keep her hands and mind busy. She found a cast iron tea kettle and several flavors of tea tucked away in the corner cabinet. No telling how old the leaves were, but it was better than nothing. She chose a spicy-scented mixture and added some creamer that Steve had brought down from The Hastings. She took her time making two cups of tea, walking slowly to not spill any of the precious, warm liquid. "How are you doing?" Shepard prodded Joker gently, extending her second cup of tea to him.  "Did you ask anyone else how they were doing?" He snapped but took the steaming mug. Shepard smiled as he cupped it with both hands, savoring the warmth it brought to his fingers. "Not yet." She sat down on the couch, letting his calves fall across her lap. "It was a lot of stairs." She would've let the conversation end there; he'd never been one to complain, much less share about his struggles. But he relaxed against his pillows and sighed, saying, "One hundred and forty-four steps. Not counting the landings. You know what pilots are best known for? Their stair-stepping. We hold an award show every winter. The System's Alliance Stair Stepping for Pilots Who'd Rather Be Sitting on Their Ass Awards." Shepard chuckled and then cursed when the laugh jostled a splash of heat over her lip. "You'll be a shoo-in this year." "I hope so. I was robbed last year." The room was quiet while they finished their tea, only Joker's exaggerated sipping breaking the silence. After he placed the mug on the ground next to the couch, he placed his hands behind his head and asked in a dead-serious tone, "Do I need to hit him?"

[anything-unique-can-be-sexy]

Reflecting (ZY!Riddler solo fic)

Warnings: NSFW (18+ only), masturbation, a lil bit of stripping, dirty talk, praise kink, mirror sex, Edward Nygma being a narcissistic lil freak

Notes: BIG BIG BIG BIG TY AND COMPLIMENTS FOR @wingedqueenlynx who's art was the biggest motivator for this silly lil fic. The art in question is right here, go show them lots of love: https://www.tumblr.com/wingedqueenlynx/757030050727116800/im-back-with-the-main-course-fellas-3c-we-got

The mirror was definitely a good investment for his new base of operations- almost as good as his suit.

Edward admired himself in the mirror happily, preening as he adjusted the cuffs of his shirt, a shade of purple so dark it was almost black. He gave a slow turn in the mirror, a self-satisfied huff of laughter escaping as he took in his own appearance. It was exactly what he wanted. The perfect shade of green and purple, the extra fabric for the shirt making a perfect mask to tie around his eyes, and the hat-

Everyone would know his name after this. They'd see these colors, gaudy and obscene in anyone else's lesser hands- and think of him. Any time they saw a question mark in Gotham City, any time a brain teaser gets placed idly on a box of cereal or in the paper, all thoughts would be on him...

It was a shot of pure ecstasy in his self-obsessed mind. Edward giggled almost childishly, his eyes taking in every inch of his appearance. His hair perfectly slicked back, the way the shirt hugged his chest just a little tight, accentuating the slight bit of muscle there.... and he wasn't completely blind to how the slacks were snug around his ass, but perhaps a bit too tight in the fro-

Ah, not so much a wardrobe issue as it was a... physical response. Edward bit his lip, a slight thrill crawling down his spine at the thought that all his peacocking for himself in the mirror, admiring himself, had led to this.

Well, he might as well indulge in his more basic, primitive urges for a little bit.

Edward undid the tie and his mask, carefully setting the fabric aside along with his hat and undoing the button on his suit jacket to open it. He watched himself in the mirror as he popped the top button of his collar, and then each small button was undone painfully slow. Pale skin being exposed, the small smattering of hair on his chest. Edward let his palm smooth across his chest with a soft sigh, taking a moment to let it drag over nipples that were already stiff from exposure to the cool air. He could imagine someone else doing this: a gorgeous secretary that worked at Wayne Enterprises, one of the scientists who worked in the lab, but no. He didn't want the image of someone else interrupting this, spoiling this.

This was about him, and nobody else.

He worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he let his palm slide down his abdomen, each nerve tingling from the teasing promise of what's to come. Edward knew he needed to speed things along, at least a bit- not wanting to already find a dry cleaner to fix his new suit. He undid the belt quickly, his fingers dragging along the obscene bulge in the front of his slacks. He felt a whimpering sigh escape as he pressed his palm down against himself, taking a moment to inhale deeply as he pressed down harder to blur the line between pain and pleasure. His impatience was winning, the stubborn desire to please himself and just get to the point of this.

Edward stripped the rest of himself a bit more carelessly than he'd have liked, his mind already starting to fog with that wonderful haze of need and desire. Tossing the dress shirt and jacket to one corner, kicking his shoes and socks away and pushing down his slacks and boxers before kicking them. He was completely bare in the mirror, and the sight of himself brimming with arousal sent another spike of heat through him.

"Look at yourself..." Edward cooed to the mirror, his voice already rough with want as his tongue darted out to his bottom lip. He slowly knelt onto the cool stone ground, the slight chill making him shudder before he refocused. He lifted his hand to his mouth, smirking as he trailed his tongue along his palm to give it some moisture. He gripped himself loosely, his thumb smearing the beads of precum that had oozed out of his tip. He groaned low in his throat with satisfaction, stroking himself slowly as he watched himself in the mirror.

"Fuck, you really are quite the looker... dare I say perfect." Edward murmured to himself softly, feeling his toes curl underneath him as he twisted his wrist just right. "Everyone in Gotham is going to know you soon... they'll get to see exactly what they missed out on." Edward muttered lowly as he arched his hips into his hand and felt his pace speed up ever so slightly. He could feel his breath hitching in his chest, coming out in small pants as he kept praising his reflection, praising himself... he was losing control, but he wanted to cling to this for as long as he could.

"They'll all, hhn, wish they had a piece of you before..." Edward grunted under his breath, his free hand moving up to swipe the strand of auburn hair that had started to fall in his eyes. "The entire city will be begging for you... will have all their attention focused on you-" Edward was cut off with a small moan as he felt his cock throb, his orgasm spiraling closer and closer. Each word of praise for himself slipped out effortlessly, feeding the boundless ego he had, and it just added to the heat pooling in his stomach more and more. Edward's eyes almost fluttered shut, meeting his half lidded gaze as he felt himself get closer and closer to the edge.

"Everyone is going to know your name."

Edward came with a whining moan, his back arched and ropes of cum hitting the glass of the mirror. He let his eyes fall shut as he basked in the afterglow of what he did, a lazy smile on his face as he moved to lay his flushed back on the cool stone. Everyone was going to know his name, know his face...

And he would make sure nobody would ever forget it

[hetakinkmemeblog]

it’s a little disheartening to see so many requests but so little fills. i know the original kink meme had a lot of unfulfilled requests, but i feel like the ratio of requests to fills this time around is just completely off. i’m hoping it’s only because this blog is very new.

the idea of the kink meme is that we keep it going ourselves. i’m sure some people in the past JUST requested or JUST filled, but for the most part i think most participants did both. is nobody willing to do that anymore?

from polls, likes on posts, requests on this blog, etc, we can clearly see that the problem isn’t just that hetalia is a small fandom. the problem is maybe, at least half of the people on here are way too embarrassed to create any art (including writing, obviously. i refuse to call it content) whether it’s just self indulgent pieces for themselves, or requests for their fellow hetalians. it makes me so sad.

also the fact that i actually fulfilled a request and yet it has gotten very little engagement is also really discouraging me from wanting to fulfill another haha just joking. sort of

I think it's a lot of things

I think some are sending a large amount of requests. This can make it difficult to see these requests. I noticed that there's a lot of similarly worded requests for the same ships. Not much variety as well.

I do think there's a lot of of embarrassment whene it comes to writing these things.

I've noticed that writing doesn't get much engagement at all except if you are lucky no matter what it is. It can be a bit disheartening but I wouldn't let that stop you from writing

One thing that was disheartening for me to see was someone fill a request and then tell me to delete it because there was a person leaving mean comments because the person wrote rusame instead of amerus. I think that's disheartening because there was always room for slight changes and adjustments in the original kink meme and to get mad at someone who took the time to fill a request is a little disappointing

There just isn't a lot of participation anymore and I don't know if it was a bigger fandom I think there would be. I see art of other fandoms get thousands of notes or kudos but in the Hetalia fandom that just isn't really likely. If I can hit 100 hits on my fics I consider myself lucky.

I do want to see if there's a way to do this better on AO3 because I saw something recently where it was like a thing of prompts for people ( in a way that does not violate AO3 TOS)

Also really depends on what ship you are writing or characters. A USUK fic or event will get way more interaction just because it's USUK if you write for a smaller ship it's more difficult.

[marypsue]

Blood will out for WIP game?

[from this meme]

Thank you for asking about this one, because it's one I haven't really talked about on here and I'm very glad to have the excuse!

I wrote Lost in the Shadow of the Vampire, which is one of the most self-indulgent things I've ever posted: a piece of semi-meta semi-fan-fiction, where a (fictional) actress working on a (fictional) reboot-slash-sequel to 1987 cult classic The Lost Boys starts to suspect that one of her costars is actually becoming a vampire like the ones in the movie. It was a complete blast to write, and I had so much fun figuring out what the fictional reboot-slash-sequel would be about that I decided that I'd just go ahead and write it.

Since the premise is that this is a movie, a 2015-ish all-female reboot slash sequel ignoring all the other sequels, I tried to come up with a plot hook that would let me introduce new leads and change the time period, while honouring the vibe (without just ripping off the plot of the original) and calling back to the original, but also respecting which actors from the original would actually be likely to come back (and which actors from the original are still, uh. Alive). Also, I wanted a girl gang of vampires who have unfuckwithable style and vibes.

So. The premise of Blood Will Out is that, shortly after she turns eighteen, Kate Fischer, the biological daughter of Star and Michael Emerson, starts turning into a vampire. Since she was adopted as a baby and has had no contact with her bio family until very recently, she has absolutely no idea what's going on - but her sister Jamie does. And, because of what Jamie had thought was a very convincing blog-form webnovel and interactive ARG but is now looking like it's actually just the blog of an actual real-life vampire hunter, they have a line of communication to one Edgar Frog.

Unfortunately, this ends up raising more questions than answers. Was there something sinister behind the string of tragedies that struck Kate's birth family and left her orphaned? Was her becoming a half-vampire really biological destiny, or does someone have plans for her? And, once she finds herself drawn into the orbit of a trio of captivating vampires who're more than willing to accept her as one of their own, does she even want to go back to human? Will Jamie get her sister back, or lose her forever?

Does the world need another female-OC-centric TLB fic? Who knows? Who cares? I haven't written one yet, and I'm having fun. (Also, I have a big reveal in mind for the third act that I haven't seen anyone do before, and is positively evil. I'm excited about it.)

I've posted one small sample here, but here, have another:

“Where the hell were you.”

Kate closes her eyes for a second. Like she’s tired. Jamie knows better than to buy that. It’s past midnight. This is prime Kate active hours.

“I’m serious, Kate. I woke up – alone, in a strange city, in California, by the way – and you were just gone. No note, no text, your phone here on the desk -”

Kate sounds defensive, not meeting Jamie’s eyes. Good. She should feel guilty. “Don’t shit yourself. You fell asleep. I was bored. I took a little walk.”

“A little walk down to the Boardwalk, Kate?”

And now Kate doesn’t look like she feels guilty at all. Just kind of flatly angry. Jamie absolutely doesn’t feel a little silver wiggle of apprehension about that. “So what if it was?”

Jamie can’t find words. So instead, she settles for letting her face and her upturned hands do the asking for her. “So what if – Kate. Kate. We agreed. Neither of us goes down there alone. Do I need to remind you that you had to lock yourself in your room for nine solid hours because you accidentally saw a nosebleed? Do you know how many people -”

“Nobody died and I didn’t eat anybody,” Kate snaps, yanking out the chair by the little desk and dropping into it with her front pressed against its back and her legs splayed out to either side. She presses her chin into her hands on the top of the chair back, so the next words come out as a muffled grumble. “Not like you could’ve stopped me if you had been there, anyway.”

The silence that descends around and between them is abrupt and icy.

Kate shifts uncomfortably in the chair, looking everywhere but at Jamie. Like she knows she’s crossed a line. But she doesn’t seem any too ready to apologise for it. “I know you don’t like thinking about it, Jay. But it’s true. If I did go off the deep end -”

Jamie only realises she’s been frozen perfectly still in place when she tries to unclaw her hand from around the TV remote. “I wouldn’t let you. I won’t let you.”

“Jamie…” Kate’s eyes shutter, for a moment, before she finally looks Jamie in the eye again. “You could get hurt. I. Might hurt you.”

Jamie meets her gaze with one of her own, steady and, she hopes, fearless. “You won’t.”

Kate breaks first. She shuts her eyes, rolls her head back on her shoulders, and grips the chair back, leaning back as far as her arms’ reach will let her. “Ugh. Do you think Mom’s found our note yet?”

In answer, Jamie holds up her phone. Kate flops her head forward again so she can look under her mess of dark curls and see the notifications that fill up the screen. Can see that Jamie’s had fifty-eight missed calls and a hundred and two unread texts.

“I think she’s found it,” Jamie cracks.

Kate groans, long and deep and heartfelt, and lets her head flop backwards again.

She starts getting out her laptop as Jamie’s crawling back into bed. Jamie watches her face, the hard set of her stare, as she sets it up on the desk and boots it up. Now that Kate’s back, the wild anger – and the fear that had driven it – are starting to settle again. But there’s a slow, deep, sucking dread starting to take their place. The matter-of-fact coldness, the who-cares attitude earlier – that’s not Kate. At least, not the Kate Jamie knows. And the longer this goes on, the more often this new, cold version of Kate seems to slip to the surface.

But. Even this new, cold version of Kate still doesn’t want Jamie to get hurt.

That has to count for something.

“Kate?” Jamie says, pulling the covers up around her head so she’s looking at her sister through a tunnel of duvet.

Kate makes a wordless noise of acknowledgment without looking up from the laptop screen.

“You’re going to go back to the Boardwalk without me, aren’t you.”

That actually does get Kate to turn around. To look Jamie in the eye. “Jamie -”

Jamie doesn’t give her a chance to speak. She doesn’t really want to hear her sister talk about losing control again. But more than that, she just doesn’t want to have to hear Kate lie to her. She doesn’t want to know if Kate could do it with her eyes steady on Jamie’s and not a hint of guilt in her face or her voice. “Not tonight, okay? Just…don’t go back there again tonight.”

Kate rolls her bottom lip between her teeth, something in her stare softening.

“Not tonight,” she agrees. “Everything’s shut down by now, anyway. Now come on, Jay. It’s almost one AM. You’ve gotta be up early tomorrow if we’re gonna have any time before dawn makes me useless.”

“Your messed-up sleep schedule’s rubbing off on me,” Jamie grumbles good-naturedly, as she lets her head sink back into the pillow and her eyes drift shut. The bed’s never felt so warm, so soft. Despite her nap earlier, she really is tired.

“Oh shit, I hope not,” Kate says, sounding worried. And then, warmly, “G’night, Jamie. Get some sleep.”

Jamie drifts off to the sound of her sister’s fingers tick-tick-ticking over the laptop’s keys.

[the-wayward-snowflake]

❰❰ SUPPORT ❱❱ [from Zhongli c:]

An Extremely Self-Indulgent Meme // Accepting (support after a traumatic event)

"I don't know why you asked to hear about this." She starts, deterring her eyes away from contact. Reluctant to speak of it. Her hand circled the rim of her tea cup. She never knows what to say when people asked what happened to her or offered to hear it out. She's only told a few others about these experiences. "I can barely speak about it. I can barely remember the majority of the details."

She takes a sip of her tea, still holding onto the cup. "But I remember you and know I can trust you." Her head slightly turns to look at him again, but still avoids eye contact. "I honestly don't recall much. I recall bits and pieces of the Archon War. What I remember is falling from a great height and crashing into trees. It's how I got the scars on my arms." Setting down her cup and then pulls up a tiny bit of her right sleeve to show a bit of the gnarly glowing light blue scars. Then quickly readjusting her sleeve to cover it up again. "Then I woke up, hearing mutters about how it was a success unthawing me. It felt like I was completely empty, I couldn't remember anything. It was like my mind was completely blank. A living corpse even. Dragged around like a rag doll and constantly having Dottore do whatever experiments he desired on me."

She hesitates another moment, trying to recall things. "I vaguely recall being forced to fight stuff. I just know eventually that my body had enough and that I destroyed a whole lab and a clone. Then escaped. I don't remember fleeing, let alone getting to Mondstadt. For a whole load of things, that I can't recall it sure seems to haunt me. I keep feeling like I deserved it. Perhaps it was a punishment for fighting that war."

It felt like she talked too much. She probably didn't need to. Though having someone just listen was nice. One way of showing support for one's experiences. But in a way, it helped her feel a tiny bit better having said it out loud.

[nut-busting-champion]

I think the thing that frustrates me with AI art is it’s complete confusion with the intimate connection with art as a creation process. Making art is such a unique relationship between the creation and its artist- a true back in forth that u don’t get by inputting “anime girl big boobs” a hundred different times into a computer. When I struggle with painting, I feel like I’m bargaining with another entity- “ok this background doesn’t work- how about clouds? Maybe purple rather than red?” A conversation that took place over hours, a beautiful frame worthy painting ur mother loves or the stupid meme that made ur friend laugh or something self indulgent and sexy just for u or even just the table u took the time to paint with a friend because it matches the other furniture better that way. Like, do you not get the value in these conversations?? That MAYBE just MAYBE getting exactly what u want generated the exact second u want it is cheating you out of a greater experience that makes ur life fuller. That putting in the time to learn a skill or hobby or craft is fulfilling on its own, and you are worth that time? People BEG these AI artist not to plagiarize years of their life spent on skills and conversations with their medium and some fucking chud on a gamer chair can’t be bothered to care about any of it. Like damn, they never will get it huh :/

[anthropologicalhands]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by @redbelles !

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 112

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 497,546

3. what fandoms do you write for? currently, I’m still eyeballs deep in black panther (mcu). I’ll write for whatever catches my interest, but previous fandoms include naruto, yuyu hakusho, thor (mcu), mass effect, and crazy ex girlfriend

4. top five fics by kudos

vigil of the loved tales of the storyteller bring back the baby shoes sleeping arrangements pft, tradition <- biggest shocker honestly

5. do you respond to comments? i’m making more of an effort these days! I might respond late, but i do try to respond because it’s a nice way to talk more about characters and stuff with people.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? probably a frozen pond alight with torches. It’s a hina fic, by nature of canon it’s doomed. I tend not to write straight angst though. Or maybe i stay up all night in your memories, where priya has to let go both of ajay and, worse, of seema so they can all move on.

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? by far don’t need no ammunition, aka the sif goes to midgard au. loki doesn’t fall into madness, thor and jane get to stay in contact, and sif gets a shiny sword that cuts through dimensions. everyone wins! it’s so self indulgent, but i do find it endearing.

8. do you get hate on fics?

almost never, but the only time i remember getting hate is on make me an offer i won’t refuse, where some commenter took issue with how i wrote kay and her and michael’s relationship. they clearly hated kay as a character but still read a whole fic about her, so i wasn’t even angry, i was just completely bemused by it. 

9. do you write smut?

…i do. i have a very limited comfort zone, but honestly i want to write more and get better at it!

10. craziest crossover:

I don’t really do crossovers, except for the ceg fic that ended up featuring jean ralphio from parks and recreation. that was super fun, but i think it’s too tonally consistent to count as crazy. I’m more likely to write fusion fic than crossovers

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as in someone else tried to take credit for it — i have had my fics uploaded onto other websites w/o my permission though

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! In the Naruto fandom, someone translated one of my fics into Vietnamese. that was pretty cool, but i think i lost the link.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

just for fun! And there was one sasusaku/uchiha family round robin fic i was fortunate enough to participate in. 

14. all time favorite ship?

nah, can’t do it

15. what’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

rip telepathy au. I had so much written but i couldn’t figure out a couple key parts and then i lost steam for writing ceg fic. I’ll never say never, but i think that one is gone.

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think emotions, how characters relate to each other, moments of high intensity and catharsis

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Setting! i hate it, because i loooooove a good vivid setting, but i have such a hard time visualizing places! Especially new places!

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

probably only a good idea if you are fluent. I have used honorifics in anime fics, but i worry that i apply it too inconsistently and not as thoughtfully as i should have, so these days i try to move away from it.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

unpublished, probably teen titans or sailor moon. published, naruto

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

I think understand the edge of this desire is one of my favorite things I’ve written, just because i think i got the voice and the mood right, and it took a long of agonizing over both.

tagging anyone who wants to do this meme!