#anon I'm not wanting to come across as hateful because I genuinely do believe your ask is coming from a place of just not knowing

[kits-ghosts-corner]

That's a problem of the ace community's own making. Gay means not interested in the opposite gender. Straight means not interested in the same gender.

But ace means... anything and nothing these days. Of course people don't take the identity specifically. "Aces can want sex, feel sexual attraction" okay then it means nothing when a character says they're ace. People can ship them and write them having sex because, well, ace can.

People even argue sex repulsed people can want sex.

Sorry, when your entire communtiy is about how words mean wahtever you want them to mean, people are going to make asexuality mean whatever they want.

Ace doesn't "mean anything and nothing these days". Being asexual is defined as experiencing little to no sexual attraction, and it has been that way for a while. That doesn't mean experiencing no libido or never wanting to have sex, because attraction doesn't equal action. We have enough accounts of that outside of the ace community, plenty of allo folks fuck people they don't find attractive just because they want to. Folks in the ace community can opt to use labels like "sex-repulsed", "sex-indifferent", etc. because it helps them communicate or categorise how they experience their asexuality. It has been this way for some time, and it's not a thing of "these days".

When characters are canonically portrayed as having absolutely no interest in sex - or active disgust towards it - it is uncomfortable (at least for me) to see others write them as engaging in it. Again, I'm going to point towards the example I used of everybody (quite rightfully, I think) getting up in arms if a character who was a gay man was written by someone as being incredibly attracted to a woman. It's an erasure of what tends to be an important part of a character (or, if not important, then at least an aspect of that character). It shows a lack of nuanced and critical thought, to be honest, and it's an indication of a shallow way of viewing a character if you throw out what can be a vital way of how they experience relationships (or lack thereof) just for the sake of like... idk a fic or something. I made the original post because I'm sick and tired of people not treating asexuality seriously, and this ask proves that people still don't.

It's fine if you don't understand asexual experiences, but you don't have to pin that on the ace community. I said the post isn't aimed towards ace and aro people because I can generally trust that what they write is done with these nuances in mind because they are our lived experiences - allo people can write the same things, of course they can, but it would be much better if actual experiences were taken into account rather than slapping on the label of "sex-favourable" and being done with it. (This will depend on POVs of the fics, but it's never difficult to add a little mention of it here and there. You don't need paragraph upon paragraph explaining the specifics, but just a simple thing would be very nice.)

The entire asexual community isn't about "how words mean whatever we want them to mean", it's about asexuality, and there are multiple ways to experience that. There's - and I'm sorry to keep repeating the word - nuance, and it is incredibly frustrating when people do not take that nuance into account when writing. And if you want to write a simple fic about sex, that's fine, but it's not hard to pick literally any other character.

My post was made very quickly and I hope I made it clear that it was a quick rant and not a full take on it all (maybe I need to edit the post to make it more obvious /g), and even this response here doesn't go into all the nooks and crannies of it because it would take a long time and a longer post than this already is. But it's weird to pin other people throwing away characters' sexualities and experiences on the entire asexual community because we have differing experiences amongst ourselves.

[jeonscatalyst]

People say that JK benefits a lot from being the center of major ships in the fandom and I don't disagree that he benefits a little but I do think its overblown and I say this as someone who very heavily biases Jimin compared to the other members. Why I bring this is up is because I stumbled upon a yoonmin account today once again and in all my years of coming across yoonminers and I've found only a handful of genuine double biased among those shippers. For the rest Jimin is only there to token stan and use as Yoongi's cheerleader. Yoonminers are almost across the board completely useless for Jimin in terms of supporting him, his music, defending him against antis or even liking him as an individual outside of Yoongi - and I'm talking about people who ship yoonmin as their main not even about tkkrs who have yoonmin as some kind of 2-for-1 package. So yeah as someone who's seen how useless being token stanned by shippers is, I'd say the benefits JK gets are probably because those shippers might actually like him. And even then there's a lot of shippers - and here I include all ships incl jikook - who sometimes only like both people in relation to the ship and you will only see them consuming ship related material.

So all this to say I think the positive affect of having shippers on your side is a bit exaggerated. It's as useful as having kpop stans by your side. You'll get some more likes and buzz on social media but when it comes to music or any actual support, most of them are useless unless as I said the shipper originally liked the member beyond the context of the ship. JK gets a lot of social media clout from all his shippers, y/n's etc of course and that is useful in creating the image of popularity don't get me wrong but there's a ton of idols who have a lot of exaggerated support on social media but whose music streams are extremely disappointing or whose stans support is extremely shallow because they like them for a ship or just for their looks

Sorry it took ages to get to your ask anon.

I agree with your observation and I believe I have mentioned this before. Many people think Jk actually benefits alot because he is shipped with taehyung and Jimin but I never thought that was true and I still don’t think it’s true. This is mainly because in most of the ships he is the center of, he is rarely ever the favourite. Most taekoookers are Taehyung biased and either have Jk as a bias wrecker or just like him because they think he is dating Tae or want him to be with Tae and the same goes for jikookers. Most jikookers are Jimin biased and either have Jk as a bias wrecker or only like him because they think he is dating Jimin or want him to be with Jimin. You can see how true this is in how easily he gets dropped or criticized after he doesn’t “act right” with one of these two.

I still remember how many jikookers became Jimin solos after Face and Seven era and how many taekookers dropped Jungkook like he was hot after Layover and even after Taennie. Jungkook is the one who constantly gets thrown under the bus and very few people actually care to defend him unless it is in relation to the ship, so no, Jungkook has never really benefited much from ships, if anything he had just been used in shipwars only to be abandoned or shaded and insulted, the moment he isn’t either treating Jimin like an egg or the moment he isn’t showing enough love for Tae as Tae shows to him.

Jimin is my bias and honestly I may never have noticed Jungkook as much if it wasn’t for his bond with Jimin but once I noticed him and got to know him not only as an idol but as a person, I grew to love him so much. I hate how misunderstood he is. It breaks my heart everytime I see people complain about him and accuse him of being rude or insensitive or abusive or selfish or all the nonsense taekookers, jikookers, solos and haters say about him when he doesn’t act the way they want him to because in my eyes Jungkook is one of the most innocent and most sensitive members. He is one who has the innocence of baby and is extremely kind and thoughtful. He isn’t perfect and he has his bratty moments and could sometimes be a little to blunt without realizing that his words could be hurtful but he is genuinely a good person and I love him so much.

I know that I have digressed but your ask made me remember that I had been planning to make a post about Jungkook because I got sick and tired of seeing everyone shit on him. I get sick and tired of seeing people treat him like he isn’t a human being yet people have the guts to say he benefits alot from both ships even though all he gets is hate and people constantly pretending to love him even though they do not hesitate to drop him when he doesn’t toe the line. Plus this shenanigans over the past few days have really broken my heart and I can’t believe how this fandom is turning against him just because he dared to speak out against something he probably has experienced himself.

Even people who aren’t shippers who claim to love him only love what he is and not who he is as a person. I cannot tell you how many times I go through the Jungkook tag here on tumblr trying to find good Jungkook focused blogs that have meaningful discussions about him as we have many Jimin focused blogs like that, but everytime I check, the tag is filled with shippers, fanfics or porn, I am tired. It’s like he is just a piece of meat for everyone to either use in ships or use in their Y/N fantasies. Very few people actually care to know who Jungkook is beyond his idol image and hot looks. Even the solos who claim to love him and stream for him only do that so they could have something to brag about among other solos because you can easily tell they don’t know the first thing about Jungkook and don’t care to know. They project unto him, call him a company puppet when they feel like it, potray him as someone who is abusive and rude and insensitive towards his members, infact to them, he is the epitome of a fuck boy and I am tired.

This isn’t me saying that there aren’t shippers or fans who genuinely love him and do things for him out of that love, there are and I am grateful for all the people like that but sometimes I just wish he had more people who genuinely love him not the ones who pretend to for one reason or the other but start showing their true colors once they are not satisfied with something he does or doesn’t do.

As for yoonminers, I don’t even want to talk about those ones because sometimes I feel like they disgust me more than taekookers do. They claim to love Jimin and Yoongi but they have no issue following and interacting with taekookers and taekook accounts that constantly hate on Jimin, are being shady towards him and his bond with Jungkook or are straightup weird. I have never cared about yoonminers enough to look into their demographic but from the little I have seen, they definitely only token stan Jimin and don’t even really give a tiny rats ass about him and for some weird reason, they have made Jimin’s Nevermind tattoo all about Yoongi🙄. Yoongi is one of my bias wreckers and I see his deep bond and friendship with Jimin but even I would never reduce Jimin’s tattoo to being all about Yoongi because that is just disrespectful and like you said, you would never see a yoonminer when it comes to defending Jimin.

My response was all over the place anon but I wanted to use your ask to vent because I’ve been feeling pissed about alot of shit related to Jungkook lately.

[the-smiling-doodler]

What is the difference between twitter and tumblr

there's a lot of differences between them, from community to functionality. we'd be here all week if i listed every single one, so i'm just gonna name a few: 1. the community on tumblr is a lot more chill than the one on twitter. tumblr users HIGHLY encourage curating your own experience, it's basically impossible to be on tumblr for a while without seeing at least one post encouraging you to unfollow/block people you dont vibe with, not respond to hateful asks and block mean anons, and filter tags you dont like. this isn't to say that other apps don't do the same thing, but in my experience, tumblr users are far more vocal about it. it's very ingrained in the app's culture as a whole. linking this back to the SC fandom real quick: I've only been faced with one drama on tumblr, compared to twitter where it seems like every fucking day some new shit pops up. tumblr-exclusive SC fans are largely unaware of any of the crazy shit that goes on on twitter. i keep saying this to my moots but it is genuinely far more peaceful on here than on twitter. 2. tumblr is also more slow-paced than twitter because the character limit on this app is HUGE (4096 characters per text block, and tumblr allows a total of 1000 content blocks per post, meaning that if you use every content block you have exclusively for text, the total character limit is 4,096,000 characters per post. thats like 630154 - 819200 words !! also, reblogs count as their own post, and you can reblog a post a near infinite number of times (ignoring the 250 post limit a day.)), which i think is part of the reason why this app is more chill. it's less stressful, it feels like you can take your time on here. this isn't mentioning that you can attach up to 10 images to a post, making tumblr a better app for both writers and artists compared to twitter. the more you stay on this app, the more you notice that a lot of posts are very long. 3. i've said this on another post of mine (which i really recommend reading if you have the time because i talk a lot about the importance of reblogging posts on tumblr, among other things), but I'll say it here again: while the community on tumblr is more chill, it's also very quiet. a lot of tumblr users have become very passive in their engagement with posts, only liking and never reblogging. in my personal experience, i've found that you get far more engagement and reach on twitter than on tumblr (emphasis on personal experience, because a few of my friends have told me that they actually get more interaction on tumblr than on twitter.) in short: twitter is where you go to get famous, tumblr is where you go to hang out with friends. 4. this point came from my friend @buggyboo-exe, he said: "I'd add the fact that Tumblr allows for more, how do I say, personal interaction? On Twitter sure, you can follow people and see just your follower's posts and everything but Tumblr not only has the ask box, it also gives you the feature to answer those asks privately. I think it's just easier to make friends on Tumblr and actually keep those friends long term than on Twitter. Likely due to the slow paced thing as well. I'm not sure how to explain it better. Tumblr also started the whole "moots" thing I believe so followers are always seen more as friends then anywhere else." I think this point is very solid because, yes, although I think twitter is better in terms of quantity of engagement, tumblr allows for deeper, more personal interaction. a lot of my closest friends on this fandom are ones I've made on tumblr. I feel way more comfortable goofing around and being silly with them publicly on here than on twitter.

5. this is something I wanted to add to the post i linked in point 3 but forgot to, and that is that tumblr is more or less timeless. it's very, very, VERY common to come across posts from as far back as 15 years ago. you basically never see twitter posts ever again if they weren't made this year, but on tumblr? it's not unusual to see a post from 2015 circulating. it's not weird to reblog art or writing from months or years ago. it's also not weird to go through an artist's blog and just reblog/like all their posts in one sitting. (also, reblogging a post means you get to keep a copy of it on your blog forever. meaning that even if a user deletes their blog, or deletes the post itself, as long as you've reblogged it it's never truly gone. reblog your favorite posts if you wanna keep them with you forever!!) 6. tumblr users REALLY stress anonymity. one of the first things i told my twitter mutuals was to PRIVATE YOUR LIKES AND FOLLOWING TABS !! no one wants or needs to see that stuff. this is your personal blog, you're allowed to and even encouraged to keep things about yourself private. it is usually extremely easy to tell who is and isnt a tumblr user, because twitter users tend to: have their likes and following visible, don't have a blog title, dont have a personal blog theme, and only like posts with little to no reblogs.

I'll cut myself off here because this post is getting very long, but yeah, there's a LOTTTT of differences. i hope this answered your question !! and to anyone reading this, feel free to ask me if you have any other questions about being on tumblr. I know a lot of you are new here and i LOVE to yap, so i'd be happy to answer !!

[icypantherwrites]

hi hello I normally do asks anonymously but I wanted you to personally know

I found you a couple days ago i believe and oh my god. Are you like, an angel?? Dude. You’ve written over 200 works, nearly 90% of them being in the vld fandom. I feel like no one gives you enough credit for your contributions to fanfic, especially in the vld fandom. I can’t even begin to think of 20 ideas for a fanfic. You’ve had probably over thousands. You are genuinely one of the most talented writers I’ve ever come across. I love how you write angst and pain. It’s done so in a way that can hurt you so deeply yet leave you wanting for more. Just perfectly encapsulated what it is like to read angst because you did it. in a way that clearly shows you understood the assignment. I love how you write yearning and internal turmoil. I love how you write rising tension and build up anticipation. It leaves me on the edge of my seat every time and I get so excited every time something super important happens. I love how you write each of the characters’ relationships with one another. It can literally feel so personal to see them interact. my favs of yours are probably keith and shiro <and> lance and hunk. You are such a great writer and I don’t think you get enough recognition or appreciation because oh my god. Every time I read your works it is just masterpiece after masterpiece. And the way you end them?? You know just how to make an ending to a story so satisfactory. Because you write the beginning to be satisfactory. You write the middle to be satisfactory. You write every single chapter, paragraph, sentence, and word to make sure that the story concludes in a way that leaves you feeling content. I am genuinely always baffled at how godly your writing is. How you never get any credit where it is clearly due is completely insane. You have done wonders in this world, even if it just seems like a little corner of it. You were here. And you did good for so many. You are so amazing and I don’t know how many ways I could possibly tell that to you. If you ever were to write an original work I would make sure to personally buy ten thousand copies all on my own. Because I know damn well that if you wrote it, it is going to be one of the best pieces of literature ever written. You are so. So. So so so so so so so so soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo amazing. And awesome. And cool. And great.

So much love.

You are incredible.

🩷🩷

So I would like to preface this response by noting that I've had regular asks closed for the last few months due to just a lot of negative feelings with the entitlement behind the asks, and anonymous asks closed for the last year due to various reasons but the most common one being trolls and hate mail. Following a recent livestream on my Patreon I kind of said screw it, let's just see how it goes again and opened them and so the fact that this absolute sweetheart gem of an ask is the first thing I get not even two days later is just... wow, thank you. I've only read this like ten times now.

I just wanted to say this comment makes me feel very seen and appreciated and all of the kind words are backed up by the fact I do indeed recognize your name (so I am glad you didn't submit this as anon!) as having popped into a number of my stories over the past week or so and leaving such sweet comments. It truly means a lot. And as an aside, I am very excited to see you (hopefully) back for the final chapters of Missing as (ironically) a lot of the audience went missing the last few ;p So I do hope you enjoy it and would love to hear your thoughts there! As you observed, it's definitely a bit of a rough go to put all this time and effort into writing and sharing my works and not really seeing a lot of folks engaging with the stories any more, but I'm still trying my best to post for as long as I can. And readers like yourself are the reason I do try to continue to do so 🧡

I also just wanted to highlight of this entire highlight of a comment the little bit you mentioned about how I end stories. Thank you. I strive really hard to not just 'finish' a story but to wrap up every tangent and every little loose thread into a pretty bow so nothing ever feels unfinished and it's not always an easy thing to do. But I've read plenty of stories where it just ends and it's like, but wait, it was so abrupt, it feels incomplete, and I don't ever want anyone to feel that way reading my stories.

I have unfortunately given up my dream of writing my own original novel as I've lost a lot of faith in my abilities due to the continual decrease of engagement and just feeling like nothing I ever write will be good enough, but thank you so much for the encouragement and the kind words. I don't think it'll ever happen, but if it does I'll for sure post a link to purchase my novel on Tumblr ;p

I could gush about all the little, beautiful details you wrote in this for hours but I will cut myself off here. But thank you, truly, for such a sweet message and kind words and I do hope to continue to see you in the comment sections of my stories for the little bits of sunshine you bring into my life🧡

[lovemyromance]

I have a little rant lol.

In general, the entire acotar fandom is immature and toxic (I honestly think its gotten so bad since nesta's book came out). Most of these people are grown women and men arguing back and forth about characters and ships. It's bad enough that its been going on for years that its sad. "I'll laugh at the elriels or gwnyriels or the eluciens if their ship isnt endgame" Do the people who say that realize how embarrassing they are? Many people are going to have good and terrible theories but bashing people and harassing people over fictional characters is just immature. I also hate when they say "its that [insert ship] the one who is being the most toxic and weird" NO. its all of you. None of us know who is going to be endgame no matter the theories you have or anything. YOU DONT KNOW. So, please, can we stop this already? its getting annoying and weird. This fandom has made it incredibly difficult to know who the next book is going to be about when its right in front of their eyes. Sarah has not made it impossible to know who the next will be about and I think thats why shes been so quiet about because everyone is being so aggressive about this ship war. I just know the moment she announces the couple, she'll get a ton of hate when its not even her fault because people love to twist her words on paper and thinks she's probably doing that but it could mean a whole other thing. Yall have let theories get to your head and twisted words so much that I think it's incredibly unhealthy for all of you to be acting this way. Stick with who you ship or love and of course, you can have beautiful theories, but toxicity is not necessary. No need to go back and forth about who is the real "endgame".

I mean yeah this fandom is insane. Sometimes as I'm aggressively typing out a reply to an anon who calls me a delusional psychotic bitch bc I made an Elriel post they didn't like, I genuinely just blink and think what the fuck am I doing?

It's partly why I didn't want get involved. At all.

I still try to keep to myself. Only even entertain the antis if they come to my posts. I stick to my own tags.

But there are people - and you're right they are from both sides, as I have also said multiple times on my blog -that go out of their way to start a fight on posts they know aren't meant for them.

These are the people that are making this fandom so toxic. Like I understand, no one person can be responsible for a fandom's collective behavior, but you can be responsible for yourself at the very least.

I have always made it clear what i believe acceptable behavior for discourse in this fandom is and isn't. It's not something I can personally enforce for others, but I can follow myself.

It really is crazy how out of hand this fandom has gotten because other people can't control themselves. If I see an anti Elriel post I don't like (and I don't follow any tags, actually, so I see ALL the ships posting), I have the self control to ignore it and keep scrolling.

This fandom has been overrun by childish adults, intent on being louder than the rest. It's crazy how many disgusting things have been said over just fictional characters, it makes me wonder what these people are like in real life.

At the end of the day - there's going to be a book and one side is going to be proven right. It's not worth all these vitriol that's been spewed across all sides just to "be right". I at least, would be perfectly fine to read an Elucien book. If Elriel does happen, I'm certainly not going to lord it over anyone's head and laugh.

Not worth my time. Not worth my energy.

[f1-birb]

Honestly feel like I need to take a break from F1 altogether as a Lando/McLaren fan because that's how bad the hate has gotten. Like you can't even look at the comments/replies under his 100th race posts without "heHEHE no win" (which is funny because like look at all of the coincidences that had to happen for George, the only 2019 rookie to have a win, to get his first. And I say that as someone who likes George but without the Max and Lewis contact, odds are he would not have a win right now either). I don't know. F1 used to be something fun as an escape from the stresses of work and life but the fan spaces have become so toxic its frankly more stressful to engage with than just going to work would be. Which is a shame but given how they market themselves now, that's clearly what F1 wants F1 to be now too so it is what it is, I suppose.

I actually totally get that. I'd say maybe just take a break from the social media side, unfollow or block so you have to do specific searches if you want to see stuff, avoid comment sections on literally anything, curate your online space to cater to just you for a while, or equally if you need to fully step away do that too

sports are meant to make you suffer (mostly affectionate) not the online spaces around them

I will say that the thing that does genuinely make me laugh about the "haha 100 races and no wins" is like, it's not even a good diss? how many drivers even hit 100 races? especially over the last few years where we've seen teams be ruthless when it comes to driver performances, let alone hit 100 at only 23

this has gotten very long so adding a read more - more on the Lando hate under the cut if you want to

since F1 started, as of Qatar there's been 775 drivers and only 113 winners. 662 drivers have never won a race. That's more than 85% of the total number of drivers that have never won a race. Some of it is reflective of talent, but let's be real, in this sport machinery is a massive factor. Dominance has always played a role in the sport, look at Schumacher, look at RB in the early 10's, the 8 years of Mercedes, look at RB again now

specifically to Lando/McLaren - until this year, realistically, McLaren haven't had a car capable of winning races based on the car's own merit. As good as the MCL35M was and I enjoyed the 21 season, with multiple podiums and the 1-2, it wasn't a race winning car without a helping hand, and yes as unpopular as the opinion is that IS Monza. I honestly do not believe either McLaren would've won had Lewis and/or Max still been in the race (hate that if you want, it's my opinion and I'm allowed it)

Sochi is still a sore spot, it was a combination of a driver only in his third season, being fed information from his team that ended up being the wrong call, but even with the outcome, again it wasn't a race winning car on its own but it would've been if not for the wrong call, and only an idiot would say that the pole in qualifying and the race before the incident were not the result of an incredible performance from Lando

talking about this year, the leaps and bounds of development and the actual installation of said development is phenomenal and probably the most improvement I've seen made across a single season. and part of that is what's boosting Oscar's rookie year (again probably an unpopular opinion, not me saying Oscar's not great because he is, just it's giving Lewis 2007) and causing more heat onto Lando than is necessary or justifiable and last weekend proved it because they were exceptional circumstances (I won't go more into my thoughts on the weekend I don't want to get shot so I keep them to me)

even if we ignore everything above, and some people will, at the end of the day, the anons going round spewing Lando hate at Lando blogs are just at this point irritating, they're not upsetting, they're not big or clever or funny, it's pathetic and borderline concerning behaviour that says more about them than it does anything else 🤷‍♀️

[mmmthornton]

i don't hate gay people, i am a gay person and i.love gay people. i didn't smear her, i rightfully called her out on her transphobia, because people need to know she (and you) align yourself with those who smear people like me as pedophiles and rapists.

For context: https://www.tumblr.com/butch-reidentified/719311495708753921/pajrc1234-blocked-me-before-even-commenting-that I'm not sure why you sent this anon; i thought at first that maybe @pajrc1234 is a side blog but its the one you replied on? In any case, since my message to YOU was off anon and you used "I" to address yourself, for transparency I'm keeping your information here.

Hey, i'm really angry about this but I'm holding myself back from being mean and sarcastic to make a point.

The whataboutism? Stops fucking here. There ARE issues in the gay community. There ARE issues with lesbophobia, misogyny, there is petty drama, there is stupid bullshit, there is every conceivable kind of human flaw and foible to be found in human beings under the LGBT umbrella. Do you know why that is? Its because we're human beings, with all the variety that that entails.

That means that, for a community to still be able to come together, we need to recognize we'll bruise some elbows and even come across Genuine Bad Actors in all areas of life. We deserve to look out for OTHERS in our community by calling out behavior - BEHAVIOR - itself that is harmful.

What that does NOT MEAN. Is that you start a witch hunt, targeting almost EXCLUSIVELY same-sex attracted woman. for THINKING or ASSOCIATING with the "wrong" ideas or people.

Do you notice what I did there? Do you recognize theres a difference between "BEHAVIOR" and "THINKING"? or even "CRITIQUING"? Because I don't know that you do! And i don't know if a lot of the loudest voices in "queer activism" these days knows that either. Because it seems to me its pretty clear the people who are actually COMMITING the hate crimes that target gay people (uhhhh including trans women, because thats the only demographic anyone wants to talk about when they go into a lesbians inbox), are NOT people IN the community sharing tragic and traumatic events from their own lives.

Lesbians are members of the LGBT Community. Lesbians have a RIGHT to to be here, and we have a RIGHT to discus the things that are hurting us, same as anyone else.

What you DON'T have a right to do, is police the lived experiences of lesbians on the internet or otherwise, to play out your own victim complex. If YOU BELIEVE that eeeeveryone is out to get you, and that SOMEHOW the worst participants are lesbians on tumblr, I need you to know that is pathetic of you.

Women to start with - Cis women even, if you want to be specific - have the lowest possible numbers for violence. Cis women have the lowest numbers for supporting conservative ideas - by voting records! We have that data. Add on top of that, lesbians are a TINY minority of all cis women. So, a minority of a population that is more frequently targeted for violence is SO SCARY to you, that you HAVE to defensively smear their name before they can get you?

Grow the fuck up. I don't actually believe you're "afraid" of violence from lesbian women. I think you just found a way to be a bully and have your victim cake too. Women aren't required to be extra special niceys to you, the only thing we have to do is survive amidst the other factors that make that difficult, and honestly if you have to turn any attempt at LGBT healing into "But what if you maybe someday possibly align yourself with my actual enemies?!" I think you're a wuss. If you actually cared about chasing out bad actors and right wing extremists, you wouldn't go after the demographic that is the LEAST likely to vote republican.

You don't go after the real enemies, because you KNOW that men are more likely to be violent and abusive and harass you and do all the things that you accuse "TERF"s of doing. You're more afraid of them than you are willing to face the problem, and women are an easy target to you because of that. That is the definition of a coward. Hell, that's probably what got you so mad! @butch-reidentified was in a horrifying situation and survived, WHILE helping someone else, and it triggered you so badly you just dug deep into your ugly woman-hating soul to immediately slander her name and make it about YOU.

You. Are. Pathetic. Get better or shut up.

[luna-loveboop]

Why don’t you have your pronouns in your bio? I want to interact with your account but as a trans person it makes me feels unsafe if an account doesn’t have pronouns listed. (Genuine question, not trying to attack or anything)

Hello hi :D

I generally take a long time to reply (I choose to take a while so I am not rushing my responses), but I want you to feel safe so I will try and respond quickly

***I tried to respond as a private ask but I think I can't, so my response to anon is under the cut. It is way too long, but I don't want to trim it down and keep friend waiting

^^tone indicators for all of my response is positive and genuine- I am curious and sincere

Thank you for sending this- I love that you are brave enough to ask and I hear you. I'm honoured that you like my account and would love for you to interact with it! I want you to feel safe tho, let's figure it out

Could I ask for advice? I am not yet completely understanding of tumblr or how everything works. I'm not certain what a bio is or where to put it.

I have so far avoided posting a pinned post, or having personal information in my blog description (<is that bio?). I have preferred just having posts- I am also not very comfortable reblogging things yet. I'm not certain how to explain why, but that is the form my anxiety has taken in managing my account appearance. Is it ok to leave it as is?

As far as changes I am slow on that as well, and might take a bit- but again I will try to hurry because I never want you to feel unsafe. You are worth any extent of kindness

So if I may ask- what is a blog bio, and where would I be supposed to put my pronouns? I think others have explained a bit on this but sometimes I don't understand immediately. Is this something that will make people feel unsafe? And may I ask why? I understand if this is uncomfortable, but I always want to be honest and genuine, and learn rather than pretending I know everything. I am autistic and often take a long time to understand things socially. Could not having pronouns be seen as a rejection of my trans friends?

I also have believed they/them to be the sort of default- as a sign of respect for my trans people I say they/them if I am uncertain. I want to help people feel validated with they/them, rather than assume and say something that is not who they are

My pronouns are she/her! :D but I am ok with they/them as normal which is another reason I hadn't put them.

I have several friends I plan on asking for advice on this as well, but I would love advice from your perspective. I want to make sure your concerns specifically are cared for since you asked. If you are ok to go off of anon, could you dm me or talk in replies? I want to learn. Or you could send me asks in anon- but I do not want to seem like I’m telling you what to do, or demand you talk openly if it makes you uncomfortable.

Friend :)

If I have accidentally said something very offensive I am so sorry and please help me understand- I have a heart for you even if words get in the way. I hope I am not defensive- learning and growing and changing are the best parts of life

If anything I said came across as rude or blunt I am sorry- I tell you that is not what I mean and I want to be friendly and light. I struggle with language sometimes (sometimes) which is why I normally take long to respond.

...

Hi friend! I think you are very cool and you've made me happy- now I can learn more :D if I was too intense or seemed demanding I am sorry- I got slightly panicked. I want you to feel heard and safe :)))

I feel secure in my gender identity and would not be adverse to being trans. I have spent so much time searching tho- I enjoy bragging about always having skirts with the best pockets.

I know this post is way too long and I repeated myself- I ramble lol but want to help you feel loved quickly

.

Edit: hate to add more, but hi anon! Many of my friends have come to help me understand more. Thank you for asking- I did not know and love to learn. I've added pronouns, and want to always make changes so people can feel safe. You don't have to go off of anon if you don't want, but if there's anything else I can do let me know. You are so so cool :)))

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hello bpp!

I know you’ve talked about solo stans or akgaes on &off in a lot of your posts but I was wondering if you can make something like a guide to how to spot them in the wild like their common talking points etc because I see so many well meaning armys both new &old keep falling for their ideas not knowing how distorted their perception of bts and hybe is. I think it would be really helpful. I shared your anti post to a few fellow armys & they found it really helpful esp since at the time jimin was getting a lot of hate &a lot of us were feeling bad for him. It would be really helpful if we had something like that for solos or akgaes but ofc only if you wanted or if you had time cuz i know your really super busy. Thank you bpp!

*

Ask 2: Bpp with this BB issue deleting Jimin's sales with no comment from the company, people are becoming solo stans and I don't know how to stop it. I tried explaining to my friend that BH isn't liked by BB, they're a Korean company and BB is a private American company that has all the power so BH has to be careful to not blacklist BTS more than before. She brought up newjeans but I told her it's under a different company but she didn't care. She's now saying boycott D Day is the only way BH will listen! I never knew she had this side to her! What can I do?

***

Hi Anon(s),

I'm not trying to convince anybody here. When I write what I do, I'm not actually asking anybody to agree with me, nor do I care if they do. And this applies to solos, shippers, OT7 ARMYs whatever version or combination of those comes across my posts.

This is probably going to be controversial (lol), but I think the people who become solo stans, akgaes, shooters, toxic shippers, etc, were always going to be that. Granted, sometimes siloed environments can radicalize people into joining those factions, like baby ARMYs who get into taekook through Youtube rabbit holes, but it's also true some people are naturally more susceptible to radicalization than others, and some people are more prone to twisted ways of thinking, they just need a cause or catalyst. And I'm not interested in pointing out the road maps to get out of cuckooland.

What I've observed is that a lot of the time, the view a person takes about Jimin, BTS, k-pop, HYBE, etc, has more to do with their own personal inclinations/experiences, than anything that's actually happening in reality.

*

*

*

*

*

*

I look at all the above and see an asylum let loose.

There's nothing to be done for these people. And I'm genuinely not interested in convincing any of these sorts of people to get their heads out of their ass.

It's no good pointing out the difference in power dynamics between BigHit and Eldridge Industries, if the person you're talking to is personally distrustful of authority and corporations to begin with.

What good is there talking to someone who refuses to understand how an independent label/subsidiary functions within a parent/conglomerate?

Do you think the people calling for BigHit to market BTS the way those fans and the Western entertainment industry would prefer, care about the number of times the members have explicitly said they've always known of easier ways to get success, but choose to decline those methods?

Every instance we have of Jimin asserting himself, a trait that over 10 years appears to be very dominant in him, becomes background noise for people who believe him to be too timid, too stupid, or too selfless to stand up for himself.

...and so on.

These are people who cannot think beyond a very narrow set of ideas that hinge on their personal experiences. They cannot imagine any other scenario in which HYBE might not release a statement in response to Billboard's selective application of the rules; they cannot think of any other reason why we haven't seen Jimin post a cake for his album, or BigHit posting an article for his Hot 100 win, except that their golden boy is suffering in the gilded cage that is HYBE; they cannot think beyond their own personal needs as a fan, to see that their expectations might not align with Jimin's; they cannot comprehend any other reasons for what's happening to Jimin, except that his team is actively sabotaging his career out of malice and coercion (by their expectations); that Yoongi akgae (in SS above) cannot comprehend the eventual outcome of their race to the bottom with other members' akgaes, when reporting playlists for rival members or review bombing their albums; they cannot think of any other reasons why xyz member has less lines, screentime, promotion times, etc; and so on.

Something you'll notice about every solo stan and toxic shipper, every single one, is that all their ideas always lead to one logical conclusion. They can dress it up in different ways, and yeah there are stages where some people are farther along that narrative arc than others, but without fail, every single akgae theory is subversive to the idea of BTS, and always ends at one logical point.

Anon in ask 2, this is probably not the answer you wanted, but I have nothing to say to your friend besides "good luck". We all have at least 10 years of bangtan history available to us; we all see various examples of all the members making sacrifices to uphold the one thing they all claim they love above all else - their team; we see several examples of BigHit navigating adversarial environments in Korea *and* the West, to make BTS the biggest group in the world with ARMY supporting the whole time.

Anybody becoming an akgae today over this BB debacle and BigHit's handling of it, over Chapter 2 roll-outs and sales numbers, etc, would have been one in 2016, or 2018, or any other time the members faced inequitable treatment that just happened to hit that person's mental sweet spot, the set of conditions that in their heads that results in only one explanation: the member they love being hated and exploited by their team with no recourse and no agency. In spite of all the times the members have explicitly expressed the opposite.

Anyone losing sleep over the chaos right now wouldn't have lasted a minute as ARMY in the earlier years for BTS, and I have no qualms about letting dead weight fall off.

[teaveetamer]

Also also something I thought of while I was making prev post, and something I've been thinking of the past few days since y'know went and tried to put my anon on blast on Twitter.

It's just kind of wild how the death spiral of negativity continues with, again, Certain People. Cuz I mean. Like what on god's green earth possesses you to take random social media posts you don't like and try to blast them all over every platform you could possibly find. What even fuels that kind of misery. I can't even imagine.

I'm trying to not piss in anyone's cornflakes m'dude, at least with regard to the actual meta discussion stuff (happy to piss in your cornflakes all day when it comes to your harassment tho). I intentionally use this blog in a way so that people do not accidentally stumble across my posts. Every time you post a screenshot of one of my posts (or anyone's posts really cuz you do this with everyone) or shit talk my takes it's like you're scooping my piss out of the toilet, dumping it in your own cereal bowl, and then screaming "WOW LOOK AT THIS BITCH OVER HERE PISSING IN MY CORNFLAKES!!! HERE LOOK *sprinkles piss in every direction*"

You must realize that people are eventually going to start noticing that you are the one sprinkling them with piss, right? Your fandom identity is literally just being a curator of highly-specific, tailored ragebait )and then constantly complaining about how you have to keep looking at stuff that baits your rage). Most people wouldn't even know 90% of these posts exist if you didn't keep calling attention to them, and you don't have to look at them if they upset you that much.

At this point I'm genuinely not even mad about him screenshotting multiple posts of mine and posting them elsewhere or shit talking me. I'm honestly just baffled. Like, I refuse to believe he thinks he looks cool at this point given how embarrassing it is.

Clearly it's not earning him a huge fandom presence. I think every single blog I've ever run has had more followers than his twitter, including this one, which was literally made in the midst of Tumblr's deadest fucking userbase period (post NSFW ban, pre-Reddit and Twitter setting themselves on fire) and where I literally never tag anything and intentionally try not to appear in searches.

It can't be because he wants to make sure people avoid me, cuz I've gotten heaps more engagement since he started directing people to actually look at my blog (that's kind of what happens when you scream "HEY LOOK AT THIS! HERE'S THE USERNAME AND LINK!!!" over and over. I assume he's aware that when you keep telling people to look at something they might actually go look at it).

If he was looking to "pwn" me in some sort of epic battle for the heart of the fandom then I hate to break it to you, but anyone who communicates via anime girlie screenshots has already owned themselves harder than anything I could ever hope to do to them.

So like, yeah. Genuinely confused over here. Unless he's just that angry when people disagree with him that it's worth cutting off his nose to spite his face.

[marengogo]

hi!!

i have some questions regarding the cake issue, i'd ask chikooritajjk, but i'm honestly terrified of them 😞

did the other members get a cake for a pre release track?

ik jin got one for 'astronaut' and jk got one for both 'dreamers' + 'seven', but those are both singles...

so imo it's a little weird that the company would get tae a cake for a 'love me again' and 'rainy days' and not just wait for his album

also i saw them talking about wasting cake, but isn't there a thing where they can have the bakery frost styrofoam so it'll look like a cake? plus the members are given cakes on their birthday and sometimes they don't eat them...

don't want to cause issues btw! if jimin really didn't want a cake, i'm fine with it bc that's his choice, i'm just confused about some things

if you don't feel like answering, you don't have to!

ik you (and other bloggers) are not chikooritajjk's mail box and if i was able to come off anon without causing myself a anxiety attack 🙃, i would definitely just ask them directly! but i also like your thoughts and opinions as well on bts and jikook related things 😊

sorry for bothering you 💜

so i see my ask was taken the wrong way 😞 just want to clear up a few things i don't hate chikooritajjk, i honestly think they're lovely and are very helpful with explaining things (streaming, bts, jikook, queer topics ect), so it does make me sad that it came across that way i'm scared of them bc i have social anxiety and really want to talk to them about things they discuss (i know, it's a me problem, got that 🫡) and trust me, it took a lot to even send that ask bc ik people don't always like answering asks concerning other bloggers wasn't trying to sabotage your friendship with them either, i follow both your blogs and love BOTH OF YOUR POSTS i sent the cake ask bc i'm genuinely confused and had some questions, and like i said ik it was more so an ask for chikooritajjk, but you have been interacting their posts and agreeing with them and i also wanted to hear YOUR OWN thoughts on it i don't mind being corrected or told i'm wrong btw, as long as someone isn't rude or disrespectful (which neither you or chikooritajjk have been btw!!) i do fear that this interaction has only reinforced my issues with interacting off anon with jkkrs though, after this i'll leave you both alone (won't send anymore asks), as that is probably you want so sorry for bothering you both, i truly did not mean to cause any discomfort or issues with my ask and probably this one.... hope you both are doing well and can't wait for more of your insightful posts! — a lost anon

Hello 🎂-Anon,

Hope you don’t mind me calling you like this, if you do please let me know.

I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out the best way to tackle your Ask as I think I’ve kinda already addressed your second ask in my post this morning. See, the thing is, whoever “baked” this particular conspiracy was so successful that many are now really so convinced that the absence of said eggs, flour & milk are actually a substantial part of a lot of the evil surrounding JM. 

But let me start with the easy part of the Ask. “did the other members get a cake for a pre release track?” Namjoon didn’t get a single slice of cake from Hybe, be it pre-release or release don't worry about what the tweet says, just want you to check out the type of cakes Joonie received, if you are interested!:

Two of the cakes were given to him by separate groups of his own friends and one was sent to him by the production team of “The Dictionary of Useless Human Knowledge”.

Now, to get back to the “source of evil” topic, it is very much an issue with the way that Chapter 2 is unfolding. It’s not about eggs, flour & milk, but about the people who found a way to make you believe that eggs, flour & milk are part of the problem. It’s about not being aware of what kind of space your SM environment might have turned into, such as not knowing that Namjoon also didn’t receive a cake, because the same people who are guiding your perception are also, shaping your environment and trying to create narratives that heavily aid in hindering the gravity of real issues that the boys might be facing.

So please, if you can, forget about the cake 🎂-Anon! It’s not about wastage or the performative act, or whatever. Did JM want cake from HYBE specifically? Unless he tells us, we can’t know, I mean if you ask me, he seems to have planned his FACE WEVERSE live to a T, I really don’t think he wanted any. Anyways, what we do now know though, thanks to Tae, is that there is a high possibility he might have not wanted it. Same as Joon.

The mishandling of Chapter 2 is so Ugh! Quite literally it is as if Pandora’s Box was opened and all sorts of shit just came rushing out 😩😩😩. BUT I will address all of these in the post I mentioned that I am working on, so for now, If I could please ask you to take a second and think about the boys real quick. MEGA-Celebrities who have been in the game for 10 years (without counting pre-debut) and not only that, they are part of the biggest group on this planet, they are BIG-big, with big money, and big problems … do you see them losing sleep over eggs, flour & milk? 

Should we be? 

Hope this answers your question and I really do hope you’ll be looking forward to my post, cause, ONCE AGAIN, I REALLY CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH: There is soooooo much in Chapter 2 that needs to be address for-real-real 🤡. 

Always respectfully yours 💜🫰🏾,

Marengo.

[ro-botany]

Firstly… replying to a public post is not butting into a private discussion.

Its fine to express your opinion, but you can do that in a polite way and without strawmanning by assuming their real world political viewpoints based on their opinion of a video game.

But again; when Grima stops acting how they believe he should act (see: everything he does as Robin),

I don't believe Robin is Grima, but I don't think us talking will do anything to convince either of us on the other's position, so may as well skip this.

There is no gentle way to say this: In trying to explain why you think Grima worship is folly, the argument you are making is that the most logical choice for victims of repeated genocide attempts is to stop having the culture that people want to genocide them over.

You are doing the strawman treat again.

I'm well aware of religious and cultural genocide, its actually a part of my heritage.

The thing is that people withstand that kind of persecution and stick with their culture and beliefs is a showcase of their bravery, loyalty and faith.

Grima says in Heroes: They have no qualms asking for divine assistance when it meets their fickle needs... But how quick they are to shun their benefactors once they get what they desire.

The Grimleal do not do any of that, for all their flaws and how much the story wants us to hate them, their loyalty towards Grima is true and they stick with their god through thick and thin. If they weren't truly loyal to Grima they would've abandoned through all the suffering, but they never did.

Hence my opinion that Grima dialogue in Heroes doesn't match up with the game showing that his worshippers continue to worship him despite people like Emmeryn's father, Walhart and Frederick despising or even persecuting them for their faith.

I reiterate: not all of Plegia is grimleal. They don't all follow the grimleal or subscribe to grimleal beliefs. We have dialogue from Plegian citizens and soldiers expressing distaste and fear of the grimleal. The majority of Plegians who are victims of the religious genocides other world powers keep launching at them are not grimleal members and probably have a culture that they would like to continue having.

You are again assuming my position, I have played Awakening and I am well aware that, early as chapter 8, it is established that the ordinary citizens of Plegia are persecuted by the Grimleal and side with Chrom.

That bit has nothing to do with my point that evil as the Grimleal are. For all of the Grimleal's flaws, they are extremely loyal to Grima and never make any sort of demands of their god that we see; they don't even ask to be spared and there's no mention of them believing any sort of reward in the afterlife.

Now this! This is what I've been hoping for!

If what I've been saying has come across as strawmanning, you have my sincere apologies, anon. That wasn't my intent.

I took this the direction I did because... well, your initial statement smelled like something ignorant to me, and through multiple clarifications it retained that meaning. And since I don't know you beyond these asks, and can only take you at your word, when you repeat something like that I kind of have to make an assumption and go from there.

But you've clarified yourself in a way that I understand now. Thank you for that! Genuinely! Because now that I know the chain of logic you're following, now that I know how the comments about the grimleal are intended to connect to your larger argument, I can talk about that!

(Below the cut though, because the ask length has made this long already.)

---

So you don't believe Robin is Grima; I do think there's some very compelling evidence for that, which I could link to if you're curious. But if you aren't interested in that then you're right, best not beleaguer the point. So let's discard Robin and their actions for now.

The thing you're saying that kept getting lost, paraphrased:

Grima in Heroes accuses humans of being fickle. But the grimleal are unfailingly loyal to him. So what gives? What he's saying and what the people around him do don't match up.

Now I still think that the addendum about the genocide is sideways to the point and bad phrasing besides, but...

You are correct that the modern day grimleal are very loyal to Grima! So where would his apparent insistence otherwise come from?

A mutual of mine, in a separate meta post, recently brought up a point that I promise will be relevant: Tiki and Grima are narrative mirrors. They both are dragons revered as gods. They've both been slumbering and not interacting with humanity for centuries.

One thing that's curious about Tiki, and easy to miss if you didn't play Awakening's DLCs (which I didn't, whoops), is that Tiki is honestly pretty pessimistic about humanity. Her first conversation with Nah in Harvest Scramble opens thusly:

"People are scarcely different, whatever realm they inhabit. They pray for bounty, then despair when those prayers go unanswered. At times that despair gives way to war… Alas, festivals are but man placating his gods only to selfishly curse them later."

Sounds pretty familiar! In fact that's almost the exact same sentiment that Grima's Heroes dialogue expresses, and it's coming from Tiki, the Voice of Naga and a very well-loved god in her own right. Where the hell is she getting that?

One thing that's important to keep in mind with the dragons in this game is that they are not gods in the literal sense, only the cultural sense. Naga says as much in Chapter 24: "I am no god. [...] I possess not the powers of making or unmaking. And neither does Grima." And yet humanity certainly treats them like they're gods... This isn't an easy position to be in. To be placed on a high pedestal like that is to be put under a microscope. Your actions are under intense scrutiny. Your words and actions can snowball out of control as people take them too far or twist them. And you're alone up there on that pedestal, no matter how many people gather around the base.

The other thing about the dragons in this game is that they are incredibly long-lived. Tiki has had many lonely millennia to watch humans live, and she's seen them fall into war and tragedy so often it seems like the only thing they know how to do. And the gods are always to blame for their suffering, even when that suffering is self-inflicted or pure chance. Her friends were brilliant; but they're also dead, and all the evidence says they were rare exceptions anyway.

These things - the cons that come with being named a god, and the way that loneliness and longevity can combine to form bitterness - must logically also apply to Tiki's mirror character, Grima.

Like I brought up in the previous ask... We don't actually know what happened 1000 years ago, or before that. Our only source on that time is a single line from Frederick, a guy from a country literally founded on hating Grima recounting a history written by the victors of an ancient conflict. I am completely confident that the assertion that Grima tried to destroy the world 1000 years ago is at worst fabricating an event wholesale, and at best exaggeration and/or wilful misinterpretation of what actually happened. So it's not as though Grima has necessarily always been so jaded and evil as he is in the game's modern day.

To bring all these different points together... Consider this possible explanation for Grima's Heroes dialogue:

Grima, like Tiki, has had many centuries to observe humanity from his position as a god. On top of that he seems to take a more active role in human affairs than his divine counterparts do. And he sees the same things that Tiki does; humans inevitably placing all blame for their fortune and suffering on the gods, humans inevitably seeking grief and conflict.

But unlike Tiki, Grima doesn't have many outside perspectives to jostle him out of how jaded he's becoming. And on top of that, due to his origins he takes a different and aesthetically more sinister form than a typical divine dragon, and no matter his actions this primes people to expect monstrousness from him. So he just gets more jaded, and more pessimistic about humanity, and at some point half the damned continent turns against him and seals him away... And if Naga's current weird ghost existence is anything to go by, he may have even got to watch for a while longer as humans KEPT being just as terrible as he's come to expect. Hell, even his followers started losing hope in their own species.

Really, is it any wonder he would run out of faith in humanity at some point? Given the circumstances?

The modern grimleal are loyal, sure. But he's seen enough humans abandon their benefactors, and had enough humans turn on him and kill him enough times by now... Either the grimleal are an exception proving the rule, or more likely, he knows (believes) how conditional their loyalty is, and if his goals stop aligning with their wishes for a second they'll show their true colours.

Now I will concede that a lot of this is not explicitly stated in the text of the game. But taking into account the likely bias of Ylissean history, Grima's existing parallels with Tiki, and the uncanny similarity between Tiki's pessimism regarding humanity and Grima's Heroes dialogue, I feel confident extrapolating that Grima's pessimism and accusations of human fickleness come from a similar place of loneliness, scrutiny, and witnessing the cycle of war for several thousand years as Tiki's, and was likely boosted into outright hatred of humans in part by the way his physical form and powers interact with human beliefs on what good and evil look like.

...That sure was a run on sentence.

But there you have it. With what we can glean of Grima's potential history from Awakening's content and themes, I think his Heroes' dialogue is well-supported by his characterization in his debut game.

[limeade-l3sbian]

i found a movie on letterboxd a few days ago called "daisies" and everyone in the reviews was calling it genius and feminist. i tried watching it. it's about two hyperfeminine teenage girls "trying to be as spoiled as the world" by doing things like dating older men to "trick them" into giving them free food and then abandoning the men at the train stop or cutting "phallic shaped foods" with scissors. i thought this was strange. masses of people were suggesting that things like prostituting yourself (to some degree), performing entirely hollow gestures in the confines of your own room, or even just simply happening to be female were all feminist actions. there were even several comments suggesting that the characters' indulgence in femininity is "feminist," as well. it all struck me as familiar. relevant, even. so i decided to dig a little deeper.

the director said she wasn't a feminist and neither was the film, and that "individualist" fit her (and the film) better. male critics of the past deemed her film feminist, though. the reviews were conflicting on whether the film was anti-capitalist or anti-communist, clearly entirely depending on the political beliefs held by the person writing on it. i will have to agree with the director, however; her film does come across as extremely individualistic to me.

revisiting the reviews on letterboxd, it became incredibly clear to me that there were droves of people using the term "feminist" in a way that was completely removed from actual feminism. they were using it in the libfem way. when they said "feminist" they explicitly mean "i believe women and girls should be able to choose whether they hate the shackles of their oppression, or fully embrace them," rather than "i believe women and girls should not be shackled." there is no actual criticism of the powers that be. it is a hopeless ideology that seems to believe that the only freedom female people will ever have over their oppression is the "freedom" to choose between participating in it or complaining about it (to no avail, since "isn't it unfair to stop other people from indulging in it if they like it?").

this was solidified to me when i delved deeper into the reviews and spotted one particularly honest one amidst reviews celebrating the "boldness" and "feminism" of two teenage girls "taking advantage of creepy old men" (though surely such predatory men do deserve to be hurt, it's naïve and perhaps even misogynistic in of itself to suggest that teenage girls have the power to meaningfully take from men by giving them exactly what they want). it claimed something along the lines of "this is a feminist film" then clarified "but not a film for those man-hating "feminists"."

to tell the truth, i can't say i found the film to be all that politically intelligent, unless i am to believe "it is bad when other people are selfish and indulgent, but it is good when i or the people i like are selfish and indulgent (though we have to be careful, because other people simply won't understand that we are good people no matter what we do)" to be well-informed praxis. but that's precisely how many "leftists" think, isn't it? at least as of late. everyone for themselves. feelings above reality. if you're not having fun, that's your fault. and, really, aren't you just killing the mood for everyone else? that's a more unforgivable crime than anything else.

but i'll have to admit this is all a bit beyond my reach. i'm rambling because i don't feel i have total clarity on all this. that's why i'm reaching out. it probably won't go anywhere, but i hope it does.

You claim not to have total clarity but just perfectly made an example of the issue with choice feminism. Don't undercut yourself, anon. There's genuinely nothing for me to add because you said it perfectly.

[something-about-sunflowers]

hiii i don't really go here except in a super secondhand way and therefore i don't have an opinion on this as discourse, i just wanted to point out specifically that the framing of "it speaks volumes of ur opinion of ed that you think he could be hurt in this way + that he couldn't easily remove someone attempting to abuse him from his life" in ur post feels kind of like it's victim-blaming irl survivors of abuse, or at least has a negative view of them in situations where it isn't that simple. this probably comes down to wording, but i just wanted to mention it because it made me uncomfortable!

Alright, so I'm going to assume this is in good faith, because it really does my head in worrying that every dissenting ask I get relating to an opinion I have about or around Izzy Hands is someone intentionally reading what I'm saying in the worst faith imaginable. I do have to say though, Anon, this is very much a 'you say you like pancakes so that means you hate waffles' kind of interpretation of what I was saying.

Prefacing that, if I come across as aggressive, it's not my intent. I'm just trying to be frank and sometimes that can read as aggression over text.

So, first. What I said really says nothing to how I view real life survivors of abuse because I am not talking about real life survivors of abuse. I am talking about fictional characters. One, specifically, that I do not interpret as - currently - experiencing abuse.

Second, I'm speaking to Izzy's inability to enact abuse towards Ed, by way of the interpretation of him by the very same people who think he is abusing him. I don't believe he's capable of it for a number of reasons but some of the same people who spout the 'Izzy is Ed's abuser' *ahem* 'meta' also - incongruously - seem to view him as incredibly incompetent in everything he does, except where it can fuel their agenda. 'It speaks to how you view Ed' because the belief that Izzy is otherwise genuinely incompetent, yet somehow still able to hold this power over Ed, denigrates Ed's own competency.

Third, this isn't a 'situation where it's less simple' because it's not abuse. Abuse necessitates a power imbalance in the favor of the person - supposedly, in this case - doing the abusing, otherwise it's just an unhealthy/toxic relationship. I have the utmost sympathy for people in abusive relationships and in unhealthy/toxic relationships but they are not the same. Ed has the social and professional power over Izzy in their relationship. Ed is, textually, better at manipulating Izzy than Izzy is at manipulating Ed.

If you took away all of Izzy's negative interactions with Ed, Ed would be Izzy's abuser. If you took away all of Ed's negative interactions with Izzy, Izzy still wouldn't be Ed's abuser because he's not in a position of power over Ed. Keeping them both the way they are, they're mutually toxic towards one another.

Perhaps it is an issue with my wording, perhaps it's an issue with our individual interpretations of the characters, perhaps it's just that you don't know me and assumptions make asses out of us all. Or maybe I was wrong in assuming good faith and you're really just trying to levy social justice language at me a la 'abuse apologist' in an attempt to keep me silent, like the Izzy Canyon's favorite little bastard Anon. I'd like to think it's not that though.

That said, if what I say makes you uncomfortable, either my original post or my clarification here, by all means - for your own sake - go ahead and block me. I do not intend to cause discomfort with the things I say and/or the way I say them but I simply do not have the time or the energy to carefully word my posts so that they cater to every possible interpretation of them.

I am more than willing to offer explanations or clarifications where someone might ask but, frankly, I cannot, will not, and should not have to preempt every potential read - bad faith or not.

[bi-sapphics]

hi I’m the same anon and I read your response. I hope I didn’t misinterpret anything you said.

I agree that it’s unhelpful to harass people for past things if they’ve genuinely changed, but I guess there are some disclaimers. like you I also had a small blog with maybe 20 followers at most, and my most popular post (out of. 3?) got 120 notes if I remember correctly. I never talked about my beliefs irl. but I did harass one person online with two gross anon messages who was starting to consider themself non-binary (albeit I swiftly stopped after talking to them when I learned they were psychotic. I didn’t want to make them feel any worse than they probably already were).

needles to say I regret that immensely. but as for the other things I mentioned, they’re still terrible. being in that headspace is really fucking unhealthy because it’s so disconnected from reality. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you have to actively want to change, and most importantly do something about it. change is gradual, even if you know you’ve been wrong. saying you had a rf blog out of “curiosity” makes something terrible seem innocuous. if you’re going around saying you being a rf was out of curiosity I don’t think people are going to believe you really see that era of your life as so bad. my philosophy is that if you’re talking about something harmful you did or believed in, you shouldn’t bring it up out of nowhere and when you do talk about it, talk about it with regret. if you truly believe what you did was bad, the emotion should come forth naturally.

I think people who’ve got their priorities straight will be content that you’ve gotten out of that hateful headspace and (hopefully) are now helping spread awareness and support for trans rights. nonetheless you should be aware of your past actions and try to learn from them.

oh, i agree completely!

and i'm glad you added the part about how even innocent intentions, or just pure curiosity, doesn't absolve you of having gone there ─ because i honestly forgot to do so myself, and i guess subconsciously assumed that was somewhat implied. my point was that it shouldn't be a defining reputation of any sort going forward into the future like like all these obsessive people want it to be. if someone comes upfront to talk about working on themselves and how they learned from their decisions without even being pressured to, then they should at least be given a chance! especially when the outcome of their time was at such a low degree of change, if any at all.

i do think it's worth mentioning that it's always a good thing to learn about what your opponent truly believes or says when not being confronted within their own spaces. even if you're not looking for a debate, it's generally the most sincere thing you can do if you're going to be talking about them, or at least actively advocating for the other side.

of course, that's different from the type of interest that encourages you to treat them as a reliable source. it's something we have to be careful about, because it's easy to fall into those sort of hiveminds when you're not keeping what you're reading in check. we have to walk a line between avoiding that and also avoiding spreading blatantly false information. that's not to say anyone like radfems deserve the upmost respect and care, because they don't, but it is to say that managing not to straight-up slander someone is usually a good look that makes you more credible. it's... what anyone is supposed to do, really.

but besides that, it's all you can do. if people don't see sense in that then all they have to do is block ─ also a miniscule action ─ and beyond that it just comes across as unhelpful harassment to me.

just my extra two cents.

[mimosita]

Hello, I was browsing and came across that post asking about successful deradicalisations (november 7, 2022). I'm a case of that. Though I'm too embarrassed to talk about it openly off-anon, if that makes sense. I hope this doesn't come off as weird.

I went down the pipeline when I was in highschool (14 y/o or so). Far-right communities online appear as "supportive bros who offer lots of advice" to specially vulnerable people, but under all of that there's a whole bunch of harsh judgement and an environment that conditions these people to see their personal struggles as tied to their value as a person. So if you have second thoughts about the community or are personally hurt/upset that people are being hurt by any part of the rhetoric, you're just "not virtuous enough" and automatically "lesser". Also, they constantly repeat the message that once you're in you can never leave and that they're your only protection because everyone else in the world wants kill you on sight. TL;DR: it's all very cultish.

I can't describe the process as clearly as I'd like, because it happened during quite a turbulent time, but from what I remember: I think just turning into an adult helped a lot. I started getting a slightly clearer sense of what kind of person I wanted to be, what would make me happier, what I wanted to bring to people around me, etc, and started to realize that those places I hung out in didn't reflect any of that. Also, I had a major mental health crisis and that was the last straw that convinced me to finally get therapy. Other things that help are finding things you're passionate of, learning new things and exploring other perspectives that will help you deprogram yourself, stop being online 24/7, make an effort to meet new people. I didn't find a de-radicalization support group, but I've heard they can be great help too.

I want to emphasize one thing, though, and that is the DECISION part. If someone had tried to get me a therapist or told me that what I was doing was wrong and hateful a couple of years back, I wouldn't have listened at all. Reminding the person that there's a whole world outside all that garbage and offering support if they ever change their mind can help, but getting out is a personal decision that only the person themselves can take. I really wish driving people away from hate was as easy as telling them "Don't do that, here's why: _", but that's unfortunately almost never the case.

Anyways, sorry for placing this massive wall of broken English in your askbox. Have a happy 2023

Thank you for sharing this! I can see it is really personal and I imagine it is hard to talk about this experience.

I understand the context around your process. You were very young and that sense of being a part of a community (however hurtful) is strong. Belonging is a very human need, having a group of people to share and who you feel would have your back is understandably alluring.

What you said about being protected from the 'outside world' is super true! I've seen this with my friend. She feels everyone outside her "church" is dangerous and will hurt her.

I'm so happy that you not only got out of there but that you got better overall in your life. A healthy environment and curiosity and openness to approach the world are key factors.

And yes! I agree that it is something that can't be forced. It's difficult to know how to talk to someone who is so deep into those circles. It seems that no arguments can make a point. I still believe that genuine love can make a change.

Ahhh and don't worry! English isn't my first language and I often make mistakes haha

Thank you for sharing your process and for giving me new insights into how radicalization works.