#annoying your human contractor is in

[goffilolo]

The devils havent caused any property damage in a month so they can have full body rights as a treat. Still no magic access tho because Father Orsi did not raise a moron.

[darin-nidk]

1 / (Takes place before Ch. 1) Interruption.

Bugambilia. | Lucifer &. Eve!Reader

Content: wounded Alastor, somewhat descriptive mentions of injuries, curse words, unhealthy business relationship.

Sorry! The signal is a bit static-y. Try again later, my lovelies.

"I thought our agreement had an explicit clause that we would not, in fact, cross paths, dear", Alastor spoke through gritted teeth, that ever forced smile present on his visage though it didn't fool (Y/N) or anyone with basic observation skills — his deer-ears were resting on top of his head, leaning back in a clearly annoyed and distrustful manner. After all, who would have a kind relationship with the one who owned their soul? No one in their right mind, for sure.

Perhaps, amicable at best but for such a prideful demon with that big title of Radio Demon, quite feared across the seven rings of Hell through rumours alone...

Nonetheless, Alastor had growled in a threatening (warning) manner as he studied (Y/N)'s movements, their closeness evidently unwelcomed. On the other hand, (Y/N) was unfaced as they were already used to his moodswings and little childish tantrums; kneeling before him and studying his bloody and vulnerable self on the ground, the animalistic growl that served as a warning was easily dismissed by them — however, they simply hummed in acknowledgement at his petty behavior.

Soon enough, (Y/N)'s hand was hovering over his bleeding torso, a faint glow coming from their palm and this caused the radio demon's eyes to widen, for a guttural growl to form in the back of his throat to express agony — an ever so sudden action from him as he leaned forward to take a bite of their shoulder, causing (Y/N) to yelp, curse under their breath and bite their lower lip until it bled from the pain that those sharp teeth of Alastor were causing.

(Y/N) kept ongoing with the treatment despite the pain they were currently experimenting, yet they shut their eyes tightly and took a deep breath before exhaling heavily. The reason (Y/N) had a large disposal of souls wasn't just because they kept their part of the deal, but because they were a good contractor and made sure (or try) to keep a majority of the souls they owned physically intact, in-shape and healthy. "I hope you haven't forgotten, you old-fashioned prick, that we are soulbound — I am the source of your powers, that's why you can't find a way out of our contract". The pain caused by his bite was overwhelming, (Y/N) was certain that his teeth had not only teared muscle tissue, but reached deeper to the bone. Their blood staining their clothing, an orange color soaking the fabric, their blood wasn't golden or yellow akin to angels nor red like humans or demons — an hybrid, an outcast. Part of them hoped Lilith bled the same color but she was perfect (they weren't) so she most likely bled a pretty golden.

Once all wounds had been healed (read: reversed to what it once was hence why it was a painful progress to undergo), Alastor quit bitting their shoulder and grabbed the torn cloth that (Y/N) offered to wipe his mouth, disgust clear on his face. His smile wasn't wide but it was eternally present albeit recluctantly. "Your blood is disgusting as ever, let me tell you", a jab at (Y/N)'s insecure self, but they didn't show it. He knew best. "And yes, thank you for the unnecessary reminder of regretful choices—".

"Alastor", a warning tone accompanied by a tearful glare, right hand gripping their bloody shoulder as they composed themselves as best as they could, holding back tears from the raw pain. (Y/N) couldn't heal themselves, so they'd bleed for now. A headache incoming, vision somewhat blurry yet they wouldn't die because of this (they never did). "I don't mind returning your soul as long as you don't mind losing everything that our deal gave you — your powers that were on pair to Adam's, powers that only failed you because you acted cocky. Your reputation, the souls you can hold hostage because I still allow you to—".

Static noise that played in the background had turned louder, unbearably so. The ringing in (Y/N)'s ears was overwhelming, causing the headache to worsen, it was as painful as a migraine now — fuck, shit, the corner of their vision had black edges. That fucker, his bite was worse than they anticipated. (Y/N) knees buckled, falling forward as they lost their balance thanks to the loss of blood and yet they never hit the ground, instead, Alastor acted quick and held them, carefully so despite the hatered he felt at being reminded of his inferior position in this deal with (Y/N) and the repulsive and unwanted physical contact. "You piece of... shit".

Losing consciousness from the bloodloss and the stress this situation was causing them, (Y/N) went limp and their full body weight was being supported by the radio demon's figure. "Mn, not quite, dear", Alastor replied in a mocking tone yet he couldn't have his benefactor and owner of his soul to die without losing a majority of what he worked for — sighing, a glance at his shadow, a wordless command and it disappeared before emerging again with the objects that Alastor had asked for. Once he had the alcohol, bandages, needle and thread at his disposal, Alastor removed his coat and placed (Y/N) atop, rolled his sleeves upwards and got to work, stitching up the most infuriating being for him.

Salutations! The Hazbin Hotel is being rebuilt, apologies for the delay.

If you like my stories, consider donating to my Ko-Fi! Even cents are plenty of help!

Y si hablas español, 'tonces no seas garca y dame $2 para honrar el billete que no esta en circulación y que ni siquiera es de colección a mi MP .

[creedslove]

post-outbreak!Joel settled in Jackson with reader and Ellie and finally having time to workout his feelings for reader but still he has difficulty saying “I love you” even though he does and reader also knows he does so she doesn’t force him?👀

Post-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: I'm not into post outbreak Joel very much but I loved this baby ❤️

Ways Joel says 'I love you' instead of using words:

• that old broken heart of his has faced so much pain he would rather rip it off and pretend he has never cared about anyone or anything in his life

• it worked well for quite a while, but not when he found himself a family in your and Ellie, when he realized he was back into his brother's life and able to lead a seemingly normal life in the middle of the apocalypse

• so he does what he thinks he's best at: he keeps the people he cares about safe

• that means Ellie, Tommy and above all, you

• he's terrified of failing you at that, he knows he would never be able to go through that pain once more; so he makes sure you are always safe no matter where, no matter what

• sometimes it could be a little annoying to be honest; you didn't want to seem ungrateful or anything, that man acted like a guard dog, which was so comforting and reassuring when you were out in the world, but safely tucked in Jackson? Maybe, and just maybe, horses weren't as bad as Joel made them seem to be and you could easily handle them without him having to be with you

• but you appreciated his company nonetheless; you knew it was one way he found to show his feelings

• Joel was an act of service man, which means he would do anything for you, he just takes his old contractor skills and use them in order to help you with improvements around the house, fixing anything you may need or doing it around the neighborhood in exchange for something else he could gift you later

• that man can't cook, but he does make a mean sandwich and he always makes sure to prepare one for you, because he knows you're always hungry after work

• despite being so... Well... Joel, he tries his best to let you in; he actually talks to you, he just doesn't grunt or mumble yes or no like when he's around anyone else and that already says a lot about how he feels

• but what I mean is that, he lets you in as best as he can. Is he an open book? Definitely not and you already know there are things about him you'll never find out and that's alright, you don't pry into it and he appreciates it. But there are parts of his life he likes to talk about, no matter if he shares a memory of his daughter's first birthday party with you, or he just tells you which were his favorite places to eat at the mall before the outbreak

• he expresses his feelings towards you in physical ways too: no matter if a part of him still has a fight or flight response to physical touch and he still gets tense when you place your hand on him unannounced only to remind himself that you are just showing your love through that touch

• there's the sex in which he not only takes his pleasure but he also pleasures you; it doesn't matter if he is being soft or rough, if it's playful or urgent, if it's a full session or a quickie in the stables, he loves to make you cum. His tongue, his fingers, his cock, his thighs, anything that does the job he is glad as long as you are enjoying as well

• he isn't a cuddling type of man; first the heartbreak with Sarah's mom and then the whole outbreak and what mankind became contributed to that; Joel simply isolated himself from human touch, telling himself he didn't care about it and it wasn't necessary

• but he only realized how much he'd really missed it when you offered it to him; and he tried fighting it off, thinking of it as weakness, but he had a low resistance to your touch, that was for sure

• hugging, holding, stroking, massaging, kissing, rubbing, snuggling were things Joel only tried with you, after being sure he would spend the rest of his days in complete loneliness

• and you never made of fun him or pointed out the fact that he once avoided it all that and now he craved it, he loved it and he initiated it too because it showed how much he needed you as well

• so he still had a problem saying all those three words, but he could only sleep if he had you all over him

• he just loved rubbing your back up and down, feeling the softness of your skin under his rough, calloused and bruised hands

• and he isn't afraid of placing your hand on his head, showing he would like some hair playing just like a puppy would ask for pets and you just melt at how relaxed he gets when you run your fingers through his hair

• it's just Joel letting his guard down around you

• he isn't great at PDA, but he will hold hands with you, or he will have his arm wrapped around your waist and he will pull you to dance with him at a party, he prefers dancing with you to some old record in his living room, but he isn't missing the opportunity of showing everyone else how much he loves you, even if he doesn't say it

• he plays you love songs in his guitar, singing along with the lyrics even if it makes him a little shy, but he does it because it makes your eyes light up and your cheeks turn pink

• he still has a hard time saying those words, he knows he needs to improve that, but at the same time, he knows that you know and while you aren't afraid to voice how much you love him, he isn't afraid of showing it

____

[rowiewritesstuff]

Hi! May I request a GN!Human Aircraft maintenance technician X Yandere TFP!Starscream, maybe they find him and fix him up and he decides to take them with him to be his own personal medic?

Yandere Starscream X Aircraft Maintenance Technician

I have 0 clue about jets other than hehe go fast, so the terminology will be pretty rough. Also I was fucking HYPE to write this one y’all.

You worked on aircrafts- and you were damn good at it. Not only were you good at it, but it was your passion. Everyday you get excited to get to your job. You had been doing this for three years as a civilian contractor, so you had ties to the military but weren’t technically part of it. 

The aircraft you were currently working on was a F-16. It was a gorgeous jet, one you’d love to have gone on a ride in. You gently checked around the jet for the problem, seeing that the pre ignition wasn’t firing off correctly. You got up on a tall ladder to fix the issue. You never noticed a huge robot making its way into the base.

Starscream was looking for anything to repair himself after a fight with M.E.C.H.. The organization was extremely pesky and annoying, and they had actually managed to injure him this time. He froze when he saw a tiny human repairing a jet. He looked curious at what the human was doing and stood directly behind them. 

You never noticed the huge bot standing behind you as you worked. When you made your way down the ladder you noticed the pole that wasn’t there before. You slowly looked up to see a huge robot smirking down at you. In an attempt to run away you stumbled over an air compressor and tumbled to the ground with a yelp. 

The robot clicked his tongue at you and laughed. “Well, I never knew you insects were capable of repairing something such as this. I suppose it’s only natural for you to accomplish minor sciences such as this.”

A lump was heavy in your throat. You were stumped at what to say, staring in fear and awe at the sight of him. “W-h-,” you gulped, “What are you?”

The robot laughed again, amused by your stupor. “I am a Cybertronian, from the planet Cybertron- go on, you may bow at your superior.”

Instantly, you felt irritation flood your body. While you didn’t know much about him other than he was a giant alien robot, you knew that he was an arrogant prick. You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling. 

“How dare you roll your optics at me, fleshling?!” 

“Fleshling? Oh, if we’re slinging insults- why are you shaped like a long toaster?”

An offended sneer grew on his face. “I don’t know what a toaster is, but I am NOT one! I should squash you right where you stand!” He went to slam a hand onto you, but he grunted and grabbed his side in pain. 

You felt slightly bad for it. “Are you…okay?”

His face twisted into a snarl, but then he paused. He looked from you to the jet and then to the tool in your hand. “You are… a medic?”

You blinked. “Uh, I’m an aircraft maintenance technician.” You backed up slightly at the grin that covered his face. His sharp talons descended on you and snatched you off of the ground.

Screams filled the air as you were lifted by your hoodie. “Silence, human!” You shook with fear but grew quiet as the robot’s tone calmed down. “You will repair me, and perhaps I will spare your pathetic life.”

“A-and if I don’t?” The robot tightened its grip on you and you nodded quickly, getting the picture. He could use one finger and turn you into a puddle.

As he put you down and you got your tools, you wondered if you could even repair him. He sat down with a loud clang that startled you. When you began repairs, you noticed the symbol on his chest.

“So… got a name? And what’s that symbol?” You asked as you inspected the damage- it looked simple enough to repair.

The large robot huffed and puffed out his chest. “My name is Lord Starscream, a powerful Decepticon. This is the symbol of our great Decepticon race.” 

“... I see.” You thought that it was weird that he called himself ‘Lord’. It must be a weird power thing. It was clear to you that he wasn’t friendly, though. You just wanted to finish this repair and get out of here.

After welding one area shut gently, you finished. You backed away. “Okay, all done.” 

Starscream stood up, moving his body. He nodded slightly in approval, before glancing at you again. “For a fleshy you did… a decent job. Though not as good as I would have.”

Your eye twitched slightly. “Then why didn’t you do it yourself, if you’re so good at it?” 

He stammered for a moment before huffing in anger. “It was a weird angle! I could have done it myself, but why would I waste my time when I can make someone else do it?!” A threatening step was made towards you, crashing into the ground loudly. Your body fell to the ground. Fear consumed you. 

“O-okay, I get it!” You gulped. “I did what you asked, so let me go!”

Starscream looked thoughtful for a moment. A wicked look spread across his face as he laughed loudly with his raspy voice. “Ah, but perhaps you can still be of use!” 

When he reached out, you jumped up to run away. If you just got further in the hangar, you were sure he couldn’t reach in there or follow you. Ducking under his hand, you slid into the doorway. He waved his hand in the door as far as it could go - it almost reminded you of when someone tried to grab a pickle from a jar.

As you ran through, he shouted at you in a language you knew wasn’t from Earth. You ran to the otherside of the hangar to get out and to your car- you saw the missiles on him, and you wouldn’t stand a chance if you stayed there. 

Fumbling the phone out of your pocket, you dialed a number- your handler, Agent Louis. He picked up after the fourth ring. “What the hell do you want, this better be good seeing that it’s five in the mo-” 

“LOUIS! I’m being fucking chased, I need backup NOW! It’s some kind of robot thing- it’s heavily armed!” You turned the keys, changing the gear. You slammed on the clutch, accelerating at such a fast pace your head spun.

You could hear shuffling. “Where are you? Coordinates!” 

“I don’t know!” you sobbed, “I’m near the base somewhere, going towards the woods- I think if I can get there I can ditch the car and hide!”

“Okay, I’m going to hang up now-”

“No! Don’t ditch me you asshole!” 

“I have to call reinforcements! Just get to the woods and hide!” 

With that, you were alone to your racing thoughts. You heard loud slamming behind you and you looked in your mirror.-Starscream was destroying the base to look for you. He then noticed your Jeep driving away as fast as it would go and did something that shocked you to your core- he changed into a harrier jet to pursue you. 

Your foot lifted slightly on the clutch for a moment in shock, until you snapped out of your stupor and slammed on it again, driving to the woods. You were so close- but you knew deep down you couldn’t outrun a jet. 

The high-pitched sound of a jet echoed in your ears as Starscream pulled ahead of your Jeep. You slammed on the brakes as he transformed before your very eyes. The Jeep was going to flip, but Starscream caught it in his claws. 

You didn’t realize you were screaming until he yelled at you to shut up. His claws scratched along the car, making a horrible noise. Your hands raised up to cover your ears. 

When you looked up, Starscream had a smug look on his face. “Truly, you flesh creatures are such ignorant creatures. Did you really think you could escape me, a superior being?” His claw reached out and trailed against your cheek. “You’re lucky you’re of use to me, or I would have crushed you into paste.”

You shook with fear as he cut the seatbelt with his claw, pulling you out of the car. He transformed and threw you into the air. You landed in the seat of his jet-form and he flew off into the early morning.

[angelsanarchy]

Righteousness of Man: Kappa x Y/N- Mini Series PRT 02

Tagging: @icarus-star @ithinkitstimetonap @kappasbbgirl @chainsawgvtsfvck @luzclarita57 @miniisunshine @romanroyapoligist @madamemaximoff06 @thirtyratsinasuit @ethical-cain-vinnel @blueberrypancakesworld @dumbbitchdelrey @loljustignoreth4t @tvgirlsbluehair @s0ulfulll @mommymilkers0526 @vomiting-blood @ultrakissed @hisemoslut @lustkillers @s-0lar @roryculkinsgf dukesofsp00ks thirtyratsinasuit

Y/n had decided to stick around camp for awhile and Kappa made it his mission to incorporate her into the family as seamlessly as possible. The two of them had a way of moving about the camp watching one another's every move.

Kappa found the way she spoke with the others and brought a level of comfort just from gentle touches to their faces or arms made everyone calmer. It was very motherly. He pondered the idea of having her teach all the girls how to be as soft and gentle as she was.

Y/n found listening to Kappa rant around the bonfire was both entertaining and educational. He spoke with such conviction that the others listened to him like he was preaching gospel straight to their souls.

"They're trying to take over. Soon enough, there will be metal rods in all of us, puppetting around like mindless robots. It's fucking disgusting." Kappa spit into the fire. Tonight's topic was based on the technological advancement that NASA had come up with sending astronauts to space but allowing them to have animatronic vessels here on Earth that could be present with their families.

The idea of robots taking over the world made Y/n chuckle to herself and it caught Kappa's attention.

"Y/n....do you have some thoughts on the matter you wish to share?" His tone was challenging and she simply shrugged her shoulders as she leaned back in the chair, holding onto a beer bottle.

"It's the American Dream isn't it? Father goes off to work while mother stays home and raises the nuclear kiddies, only now dear old daddy can be working around the clock while mommy gets to ride on a mechanical cock instead of the flesh and blood kind." She smirked. Some of the others laughed and Kappa knelt down opposite her, the large fire between them.

"No machine could ever compare to weighted flesh of the real thing." Kappa palmed at the front of his slacks and Y/N smirked.

"I don't know, I think unless you've used one then you can't really speak on its efficiency." Y/n knew she was pushing it and Kappa held her gaze. He was clearly getting worked up. His silence meant he was annoyed. It had only taken her a few days of being here to know that his silence could bring punishment.

As people started to retire to their cabins, Y/n remained in her seat, watching Kappa places kisses on his adoring flock of women who begged him to fall into their beds but he refused. He made his way towards Y/n who looked up at him as he stood towering over her.

"Left all your little minions heartbroken tonight? How will they survive without the weight of your flesh and blood cock?" Y/n continued to pick at Kappa and he grabbed her chin forcefully making her stop.

"Why would you defend the government taking over the human race?" Kappa's tone was serious.

"What?" She tried to laugh it off but his grip tightened.

"Who do you work for?" He asked curiously. Y/n held his gaze strongly.

"Technically I don't work for anyone. I'm self employed." She tried to give him the straight answers he was looking for.

"So a government contractor, is that it?" Kappa pressed stepping closer, trapping her in the chair.

"Let go of my face." She hardend herself but Kappa didn't budge.

"Darlin' if you think just because we've fucked that I won't toss you into that fire, you're sadly mistaken. I asked you a question." Kappa threatened squatting down to stare into her face.

"You want to hurt me because I challenged you in front of your people or because I think a robot cock is just as useful is your own?" Y/n bit back.

"You want to fuck something that feels nothing? That's what you want? That poison running through your veins?" Kappa flips out his knife and holds it to her throat.

"You want to kill me? Go for it." She tilts her head back exposing her neck to him. Kappa pressed gently drawing the slightest bit of red blood before wrapping his hand around her throat.

"I am trying to build a community here, something real. Something that will survive when the world goes to shit and the machines try and take over." Kappa growled.

"You think I don't realize that? You think I've stayed for the fun bonfires and fucking?" Y/n asked making Kappa release the pressure of her throat.

"You are the leader here Kappa. To them, you are a God among men. They feel safe and empowered with you and they should." Y/n could see him taking in everything she was saying.

"And you...what do you stay for then?" Kappa asked almost nervously.

"Every great man has a woman at his side reminding him of his potential." Y/n leaned forward towards Kappa.

"And you think you're going to be that woman?" Kappa challenged. Y/n shook her head at him.

"I am that woman." Her breath against his lips made his eyelashes flutter. He stood straight up and held his hand out for her to take but instead of taking his hand, she played with the front of his pants. Carefully unlooping his belt and resting her face against the zipper, long enough to take in his musk and grip the zipper with her teeth.

"Come to bed with me." Kappa lifted her chin gently this time and she refused.

"I want to feel the weight of your flesh and blood cock on my tongue..." She pulled his slacks down his legs and his cock hung heavy between his legs, slightly curved to the left and sprung from a heavy bushel of dark, coarse hair.

Y/n leaned forward and licked his already wet tip, listening to him take a deep breath in through his nose as she peppered little wet kisses over the skin, lapping at the precum.

"You want to be a God among men Kappa? Fuck the word of man into my throat then." Y/n's words made him look down as she held his eye contact while she took him into her throat deeply. He let his jaw slack as she drooled all over his cock, sucking and gargling on his thick cock. She let used her hands to stroke the length she couldn't fit into her mouth and massage his balls.

"Fuck...your throat is sinful." He brought his hands to his face and tried pushing his hair out of his eyes. He wanted to see Y/n take him down. He wanted to see her sacrifice air for his pleasure. He held the sides of her head and fucked into her throat harshly, feeling her moan at the contact of the tip hitting the back of her throat roughly.

His moans and the sound of the fire behind him were the only sounds that could be heard for miles.

"I'm going to cum and I want you to swallow every last drop. I want you to taste something machines could never produce. I want you to feel my cum in your belly tonight when you sleep and know that a little piece of me lives inside of you forever." Kappa whined as he yanked on the top of her hair so she would stare into his eyes, tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. He held her gaze as he released into her throat, watching her eyes roll into the back of her head as she swallow around him. When he softened, she slowly pulled back, letting his cock fall semi-limp against his thigh. She leaned back trying to catch her breath but instead of allowing that he yanked her to her feet by her shoulders and kissed her.

He could taste himself on her tongue and she gripped his greasy hair between her fingers tightly as she kissed back. When she pulled away, he wiped the tear streaks off her face carefully and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Don't leave...ever." Kappa's tone sounded like a plea rather than a demand and Y/n smiled. This was only the beginning.

[ms-demeanor]

hi okay sorry idk if it's okay to ask this or not so,,,, i am a bit hesitant.

here's the thing - i just finished my bachelor's and I'm looking for a job in cybersecurity. BUT i don't know how to get into the industry or get an entry level job and i am soooo overwhelmed. and here on tumblr some of your posts made me think it's a field you work in.. so, could you give me some tips?

again sorry if this was inappropriate i am very out of my depth rn skdhdkh

So I don't really work in cybersecurity, I'm an office admin at an MSP, I'm not even a tech, it's just that I've been hanging out with hackers for so long that I'm our default security guy because I know the *bare ass minimum* about okay security practices.

That said, I got my job because of a friend I met at a hacker meetup and I know a ton of people in the industry who got jobs in the industry exactly the same way so my advice is networking, and specifically networking with infosec nerds.

This is actually easier than it might sound because infosec nerds are fucking terrible at networking AND socializing so they've set up several easy ways to be in contact with one another regularly (though this does require seeing real human beings in person).

I'd say to start looking for hackerspaces that are local to you, nearby infosec conferences, and local infosec meetups. DC (Defcon) Groups are pretty widespread groups of people who do security stuff in geographical areas that you can find based on area code, for instance I used to go to DC 213 and I know a bunch of the people in DC 949. Check to see if there's a DC group in your area and when they have open meetups and see about getting involved with them. 2600 meetups are monthly infosec meetups that happen in large-ish cities. Search the largest nearby metro area + 2600 to see if there's a meetup that happens near you (so for instance Seattle 2600, Las Vegas 2600, Little Rock 2600).

Like. How to be "in cybersecurity" can cover a lot of ground, but one of the better ways to get into it is to go find people who work in the field. And if you're not up for a meeting at this point, find the socials of these local groups and see what they're doing and what they're talking about.

If you're looking for just any "foot in the door" basic experience in cybersecurity job, the one that is ubiquitous and kind of annoying but hey it'll get you in a building and building experience is Compliance as a Service - a lot of CaaS stuff is about the basics of incident response, access policies, and setting up secure environments. If you get started doing compliance it's a pretty easy jump to doing stuff like pentesting and that opens up more opportunities depending on where you want to go with it. But. Yeah. "cybersecurity" is so broad that I'm not sure whether you're looking to find work doing serious cryptographic math stuff or if you're interested in being a contractor for an insurance company handling cyber liability stuff. The latter is a lot easier to get into, and if you're brushing up on skills by doing the latter and going to infosec meetups and cons and stuff you're going to run into people doing the former who are going to be happy to point you at stuff you're looking for.

[craomy]

The Little Mermaid! Azul Ashengrotto x Yuu (Part 1/3)

Prompt: The story follows a plotline similar to The Little Mermaid. Down in the depths of the Kingdom of Atlantica, Yuu is known as the treasured daughter of the Sea King. Azul has disguised himself as Vance (Like Vanessa in the movie) in order to strike a deal with Prince Elias (Prince Eric) on a traveling ship as a human and Yuu is captivated. When the ship gets caught in a terrible storm, Yuu saves Azul and he’s unable to get her singing voice out of his head but doesn’t know who it is. When Yuu comes to Azul for a contract for her to become a human, he doesn’t realize that she was the one who saved him until after she obtains her legs. Now it’s up to Azul to come up with a plan to stop a romance caused by a misunderstanding.

Author’s Note: This story has a total of around 18k words, so I thought it would be easier to read if I broke it up into three parts. 

Part 1: You’re reading it! :)

Part 2: Here!

Part 3: Here!

            There was a lighthearted atmosphere to the sailing ship. Fireworks burst in the night sky, plentiful cheers, and instruments being played by those full of merry. The liveliness was almost contagious, but not enough to impress Azul who watched the drunk men carry on in their festivities. He had made preparations beforehand, and his disguise would not be easily detected, but it is said that the way the world looks changes depending on one's perspective. The same could also be true of appearances. Instead of his cool light-grey wavy hair, it was a dark brown one, as well as his darker silvery eyes hidden behind a violet hue. Of course, this was a temporary look, at least one that may hide his true identity as the powerful and benevolent Sea Sorcerer. His beauty mark was nowhere to be seen, concealed and absent for the sake of not giving away the signature look. At least he had kept his glasses, though they are now circular framed due to the fashion of the time and that things could be quite blurry at a distance without them.

            Floyd and Jade on the other hand are acting as Azul’s bodyguards, ensuring their boss’ safety in case any event were to happen. Oftentimes there are scuffles if a client is upset with the terms of agreements, and having loyal subordinates are quite helpful in attaining more contracts. Either way, Azul is sure to be successful in capturing the perfect opportunity for business. Unlike Azul, Prince Elias, a brash man that was next in line for the throne, is not as serious as Azul about the potential benefits he could reap from their current discussions. His playful foolishness is not something Azul wishes to involve himself with any further than he needs to, but Prince Elias is quite the insistent one.

            “Vance! Get over here you party pooper! You should listen more about how Princess of Glowerhaven and I spent the night together,” Prince Elias lightly slapped the back of Azul’s shoulder while firmly grabbing onto him to bring him closer. A bit alert but slightly annoyed after the surprise, Azul maintained his composure and stood tall, clearing his throat to call attention to himself.

            “Ahem, I understand that you are quite the… woman charmer as you say. However, I have no interest in your external affairs.” Azul attempted to say in a polite yet stern voice, almost in a disgusted manner while carefully picking Prince Elias’ hands off of his shoulder by each finger. He averted his gaze to make eye contact with Jade and Floyd, hoping they’d catch his drift while he keeps up a friendly charade with his potential contractor. The close stench of liquor from the prince had reeked, and once again Azul is quick to maintain his distance.

            The night is young and many of the men on board were partying to their heart's content. The firework show continued to light the night sky and had certainly caught the attention of a young mermaid, the youngest daughter of the Sea King. You see, Yuu is labeled as the rebellious daughter by her father, but in her eyes, she saw it as being curious and adventurous. Life under the sea was amazing and all, but she yearned for the things she didn’t know about above and on the surface. Her father, the Sea King, was very strict with how he dealt with his daughter all for the sake of her own safety. Ever since the Sea Queen was hunted down for her beautiful scales and voice, there were rules that were set in order to keep the merpeople and the humans from mixing like oil and water. This, however, had only further piqued Yuu’s interest. She’s captivated by the foreign illuminations and was quick to show her amazement to her best friend, Grim, who is tasked to stay by her side.

            “Yuu, what are you…” Grim’s head raised above the water trying to understand why Yuu was so distracted and gasped when seeing the unfamiliar large ship in the distance, “Jumpin’ jellyfish! What is going on over there?” the little seal’s jaw dropped. Yuu had never seen anything like it. It was so close, yet for every moment she waited, the boat continued to create its distance. 

            “Well, we’ll just have to find out Grim!” and without hesitation, Yuu swam with her glistening tail that gleamed under the moon to the exciting scene. Climbing aboard the ship from one of the astray ropes, Yuu propped herself and Grim to watch intently from the deck while remaining hidden.

            Yuu’s eyes panned the unfamiliar environment and saw some humans celebrating with each other, whether it was by playing instruments or moving their feet to the music. There was one figure in particular that caught the little mermaid’s eye and it was a human who appeared to be forced to dance with one of the other men. With dark brown hair and violet eyes, the human was quite the gawky dancer who had tried his best to remain serious but to no avail.

            “Hey! Quit this insistence on dancing, Floyd!” Azul ordered in a loud whisper, but the laid-back bodyguard couldn’t help but get a rise out of his boss. 

            “Come on, if you don’t learn how to dance once, you won’t be able to make the most out of those two legs of yours,” Floyd bore a toothy grin, leaving Jade to chuckle on the side due to his brother’s silly antics.

            Yuu couldn’t help but stare at that man for a bit longer than she should. Something about him is different than the other humans, perhaps something is missing in his appearance. The only thing she could think about was how charming the man was, despite not gracefully dancing to the hectic rhythm of the party. “Wow. Would you look at him use his feet, Grim? He’s very handsome, isn’t he?” the girl leaned against the floorboards with a dreamy far-off look, captivated by the sight of the young gentleman. 

            “I don’t know. He looks like he’s too busy getting drunk,” Grim snorted, looking at Prince Elias who is close to tumbling over like a bumbling fool. Yuu scrunched her nose and smiled, and she held onto Grim’s cheeks to bring his attention in the right direction. 

            “No, no, not him. The one with the whatzits on his nose.” Sighing and sinking with her back to the wall, Yuu could only imagine what it would be like if she could join and dance along with the dreamy man. Wishing to see new sights, discover more thingamabobs, and maybe even get closer to finding someone who could understand her and her fascination with this vast world.

            Prince Elias staggered to the side of the boat, startling Yuu and causing her to shy away from the view. Azul followed after, leaning on the railings as he pressed his palm to his chin.

            “Vance… Have you ever thought about being able to meet the right girl? Someone who can really leave a long-lasting impression on you? Someone you can love?” The prince began to slur his words, perhaps a bit tired of sleeping with every maiden in the kingdom given that he’d ask such a question.

            Azul paused for a moment and straightened his posture, adjusting his coat and falling back on a memory that may be close to what was asked. Most of the time he was left in isolation because of his appearance, the mockery of others is what comes first to mind, and even worse, those who only seek him only for the sake of gaining something in return. Even if he wanted something genuine, it may not be possible because of how he kept up his mask from outsiders. It isn’t easy being the oh-so-benevolent Sea Sorcerer when it comes to finding a meaningful relationship.

            “Well, Prince Elias, I have thought about it once or twice but those thoughts have yet to stay afloat when you’ve got a business and corporation to attend to. There’s a tradeoff to everything, and I’m afraid that I bargained for my strong ambition and have to stray away from things that may distract me,” Azul looked out to the current of the waters and saw how his reflection was in disarray in the quick movement of the waves. Who was he kidding? His plans on taking over the kingdom of Atlantica after being ostracized and outcasted for being an octopus are something that still lingers in the back of his mind. This meeting with the humans is just another stepping stone in the grand scheme of events. He needs to remain focused.

            “Ah… Love at first sight? Those are stories told to give children hope. Maybe to even explain why someone may be enticed despite the overlooking real requirements of a connection needing to be mutually beneficial. It’s more complicated than what’s on the outside. Surely even for you, you’d understand that every relationship comes with a price. Even if I do find someone, I’d hope that they’d see me for who I am,” and so Azul began to drown out the sounds around him, thinking about how this was his life’s purpose while hinting at his other possible life beyond being human. To bargain and to exchange. To hold debtors accountable and maybe even have the Seven Seas bow down to him. Yet, even then, love is a commodity that’s hard to obtain.

            Yuu listened to the man’s words carefully and sympathized with him. She wished to give a word or two to cheer him up, but if she were to say anything, she’d expose herself and she’d be a fish out of water. The mermaid had instead begun to pat Grim’s head as she intently took notice of his answer.

            Lightning struck in the distance. A strong gust of wind had gathered and began to cause chaos onboard. Sailors were rushing to get into position to prepare for the hurricane. Azul quickly withdraws from the edge and his eyes darted to Jade and Floyd.

            “Twins! Assist the men with the sails!” he ordered, taking the lead in helping the sailors while Prince Elias is half awake. The men were fighting with the waves, a large one sweeping the deck of the ship with several men defenselessly succumbing to the strength of the body of water. Azul wasn’t one for his brawn, but he had rushed to the wheel of the ship and attempted to steer it in the right direction, feeling as if he was fighting against the winds of the Caspian sea. Yuu saw how he bravely took charge until the currents became too strong and knocked her back into the ocean.

            “Grim! Are you okay?!” she looked around for her precious friend. Amidst the rocky waves, she saw that recognizable ball of fluff pop its head out of the water.

            “I’m okay, but we have to get outta here!” Grim tugged on her tail, but Yuu was too preoccupied with what was happening with the human she had kept an eye on. 

            Lightning struck the sails and was caught ablaze, along with a forceful disturbance to the ground that had caused Azul to lose his footing. The businessman had contemplated whether or not he should risk being caught in his octopus form, but it was too late to decide when the back of his head collided with a heavy broken plank of wood. His glasses were knocked off of his face and his vision began to blur even more as black dots began to dance around his line of sight, losing consciousness as his body plunged into the waters. 

            Yuu gasped and panicked as the ship exploded. Her altruistic nature caused her to move before she could think as she swam to save the fallen man. “Where are you going, Yuu?!” Grim cried out but fell on deaf ears amongst the storm. She dodged and maneuvered around the falling debris, eyes darting around to see any sign of life around. In her peripheral vision, she saw the handsome gentleman grasping onto a floating plank, passed out. Slowly, his grasp began to slip from the board and his body was now consumed and hugged by the empty waters around him. Yuu dove down and grabbed a hold of the man with her arms pulling him up from the chest, losing no time in returning him to the surface.

            Gentle waves crashed onto the shore of the land and returned to their owner, repeatedly and continuously following the same cycle. Azul, disheveled and blacked out, was set on the sand where Yuu had laid him. She held the back of the human’s head and had a hand on his chest, cautiously observing any signs of life. Grim swam closer to the two and was shocked to see the sight.

            “Is he… dead?” Yuu asked as Grim hopped closer to the unconscious human. 

            Grim’s voice wavered with the human’s foot pushed against his ears and shook his head, “I can’t make out a heartbeat…” with a mournful tone.

            “No, look! He’s breathing!” Yuu stared in awe, eyes locked on his resting face. Her hand pushed back the stray strands of hair behind his ear.

            “He’s so beautiful,” she confessed as if it was the ultimate truth. Azul, is handsome, even in disguise. Perhaps this little mermaid could see through him, even if it’s just a little bit, even if they have yet to have a conversation together. She traced her fingers upon his cheek, almost as if she had known him all her life in every scenario.

            “What would I give to live where you are?

            What would I pay to stay here beside you?

            What would I do to see you smiling at me?” 

            Azul shifted slightly, feeling a hand gently placed on top of his chest. This unfamiliar warmth was nothing he’d experienced before. The soft touch of a kind soul, a comforting one at that, had begun to sprout a seedling different from any other within Azul’s chest. There is no panic in his awakening, only serenity, and peace.

            “Where would we walk?

            Where would we run?

            If we could stay all day in the sun?”

            The Sea Sorcerer needed to find this ray of light. Half-awake yet conscious, he had reached a hand out to the tranquil voice, grabbing hold of a smaller hand that rested on his cheek.

            “Just you and me

            And I could be

            Part of your world.”

            The gentleman's eyes fluttered open, seeing a blurry figure of a woman who stared deep into his soul. The melody of her singing had struck a chord within him, a tune that lingered in the passage of his once solemn thoughts.

            “Heyyyy! Where are youuuuu?” Floyd’s disconcerting call had caused the figure in front of Azul to quickly depart to avoid being discovered. The pleasant atmosphere had now died down with the waves crashing onto the shore once again, but this time, as a sign of applause for the performance that it had witnessed.

            Azul stared at his now empty hand, not minding that Jade and Floyd had finally found him washed up on the sand.

            “There you are, Azul. We were worried sick.” Jade gave his signature polite smile while leaning over Azul as he lay on the sand.

            “You don’t look that worried, Jade.” the gentleman slowly sat up, wiping sand off of his clothes despite not actually cleaning himself from such particles. That’s right. He needed to continue conducting his work. Both of the twins stayed by his side as a reminder of that, for they needed someone interesting to follow. The angelic singing had still rung through his ears, echoing the last bit of traces of the person who had saved him. He felt indebted to the voice, feeling as if he had been given temporary shelter and then taken away to return to what was before. Even so, his body felt at ease after the beautiful singing.

            “What a peculiar thing.” Azul was now interested.

            The Octotrio had returned to the depths of the ocean. There has been hot news that the Sea King’s most beloved and youngest daughter failed to show up for her musical debut in the high Atlantica society. As an outcast whose been exiled, this hasn’t been too much of a great concern for Azul. Though, gathering intel and information on how others may be despairing is exactly what he needs in order to give his customers what they wish for. Having returned to his octopus mer-form, Azul had carefully watched his magical crystal with careful eyes, observing the sights that Floyd and Jade are collecting for him. He had initially sent them off to find out more information or possible clues to the owner of the voice who had saved him previously, but now a greater fish to catch was now at his hands.

            Displayed through the looking glass was a sorrowful, susceptible, and vulnerable mermaid. As Azul’s silvery hues examined the little mermaid in his crystal ball, he couldn’t help but notice what a catch this customer will be.

            “So this is Yuu, the daughter of the Sea King? The rumored headstrong and lovesick girl?” he peers at his garden of anemones, the lot of poor unfortunate souls who couldn’t keep up the end of their bargain. He turned back to take another look at Yuu. With the beautiful scales on her tail, it was clear as a shard of sea glass that she was of noble origins. This is proof that even someone of high esteem has their own problems.

            “She would be the loveliest of them all. This is a little bit too easy for me, Floyd, and Jade.” Azul chuckled to himself quietly. Finally, the perfect opportunity to snatch the crown away from the king. The chance he may never get again in his lifetime. The octopus quickly devised a brief plan. Once the little mermaid is bound to him by contract, he’ll take the upper hand and use her as a bargaining chip against the Sea King. How could the king refuse? The safety of his most loved daughter comes first before his crown. Love takes sacrifice.

            At the entrance of Azul’s lair swam an oh-so-familiar mermaid along his loyal eels escorting his catch straight to his plate. Speak of the devil and she shall appear, he thought. She was much prettier in person, as rumors say, and she certainly has his attention. The apprehensive look on her face was evident as she swam above the garden of unfortunate souls.

            “Welcome, Angelfish.” Azul’s voice echoed through the eerie chamber, “Don’t be shy. It’s rude to leave someone waiting.” Climbing out of a large seashell, the octopus made his presence known as his body flowed with his movements. Yuu nervously gulped as she approached the rumored Sea Sorcerer, and Azul took note of her behavior with a chuckle. Oh, how easy it will be to exploit this girl, he thought. The boundless amount of opportunities will only continue to expand if things go according to plan.

            “Now, then, the reason you’re here today is that you’ve fallen in love with a human. He must be a catch if he’s piqued your interest.” Azul absent-mindedly guessed, love being the game he most often participated in pulling the strings. Usually, it’s one who wants to become thinner and another one wanting to win over the girl– and did he help them? Yes, indeed.

            “He’s just so interesting. I really want to learn more about him. There are a lot of things I want to discover up on the surface as well–”

            “Yes, yes. You’ve got yourself an appetite for the unknown. Instead of a wager, how about we make a deal, yes?” Azul interrupted, a bit too excited about taking advantage of the situation.

            “The only way to get what you want is to become human yourself,” the octopus lifted Yuu’s face by the chin with his finger.

            “Can you really do that?” the mermaid gave a look of surprise and pondered with astonishment.

            “Why of course. I’ve been fair with no foul plays. They don’t call me Azul Ashengrotto for nothing, Angelfish. Helping unfortunate merfolk like yourself is simply what I’m called to do,” he proudly claimed, keeping his posture and maintaining steady eye contact with his sincere client. 

            “Some merfolk say that you don’t exactly keep your promises. How can I trust your word?” Yuu asked with some suspicion. He chuckled inwardly.

            “Come on, I know you need a little magic and magic is my specialty du jour,” the cunning man twirled around the little mermaid with his tentacles. Yuu didn’t realize how much larger the Sea Sorcerer appeared until he got closer. A part of her screams that she should be intimidated, but the grief of her grotto being destroyed by her enraged father was stronger to overpower the adrenaline that was commanding her to swim away.

            “Don't just stand there looking sick. Would I kid you? Play a trick? Like I told you, I don't do that anymore, ” Azul began to open his cauldron, causing the jaws of the pot to release, emitting a soft light for both of the merfolk to pay attention to. The Sea Sorcerer continued to keep a poised expression on his princess, sliding a few side eyes to Floyd and Jade to poke some hints of future trickery.

            “Listen to this darling, I will make you a potion that will turn you into a human for three days. Three and only three days,” Azul’s tentacles had gently ushered and pushed Yuu near his potion cauldron. He quickly directed Yuu’s attention to his face with his hand that held a grip on her chin. Seeing her up close, he analyzed her face in his hands, a moment where his intense gaze met her determined eyes.

            “Before the sun sets on the third day, you’ve got to have this human fall in love with you,” he put a hand to his chin, “he’s got to kiss you, but not just any kiss.” The cauldron arose with an image of a heart rotating in place. “It must be a kiss of true love. If he does kiss you before the sun sets on the third day, you’ll remain human permanently,” an illusion of Yuu’s human self freely walking above the pot. “But if he doesn’t, you’ll turn back into a mermaid…” Azul captured the illusion with his hands in a strong grasp. He leaned forward to Yuu and held her wrist by his tentacle, yanking her close to his body, not minding the close proximity because the thrill of securing this deal was much more important than how he was feeling.

            “You’ll belong to me!” he chuckled, giving a mischievous laugh. The thought of having Yuu to be under his control didn’t sound that bad of an idea. He’d be able to sit on the throne and terrorize those who mocked him and maybe keep Yuu by his side. Daughter of the Sea King, it’s a rare commodity.

            Grim opened his mouth to object for his friend, but was quickly silenced by the Leech twins. “Shhh… We don’t want to disturb them, do we, Azarashi-chan?”

            “Have we got ourselves a deal, Angelfish?” Azul inquired, examining the mermaid’s facial features very carefully. How will she react? What will she do? Is she going to beg and plead? It would be a sight to see the Sea King grovel and ask for forgiveness for his daughter’s sake.

            “If I become human… I might have a chance to see that gentleman I saw above shore again,” she softly spoke. Azul raised his eyebrow. Instead of worrying for her family and friends, she’d rather gamble her life on something so unpredictable as luck. What strategy or plan does she have if her plans to swoon the man she wants don’t turn out right? It’s almost too easy for Azul. It’s two fish with one stone.

            “How fascinating. You truly are willing to risk it all for a man you hardly met? Do you even know this man’s name?”

            “Yes, his name is–”

            “On second thought, maybe I don’t want to hear it.” Azul interrupted. The thought of a beautiful mermaid-like her throwing her life away to some guy just doesn’t sit right with him. However, knowing this mystery guy’s name is not necessary, anyways. If things go according to plan, then she won’t even end up with him. “We haven’t discussed the subject of the payment. You can’t exactly get something from nothing, can we? I won’t ask for much. Just a token really, a trifle. You’ll never even miss it,” Azul lifts Yuu’s face once again with his finger.

            “What I want from you is… your voice.”

            Yuu pressed a hand to her throat. Word has gotten around that she hadn’t been at her debut, but to think that she’d have to give up one of the very precious gifts she had. She wasn’t left with many options. Her hopes had been dashed with her father previously and there was no one who could really comprehend why she found beauty in the human world.

            “So I think you ought to take my little bargain. Yes, I think you ought to make my little deal. Sure, it's hard to leave your life, but you could be a charmer’s wife. Why don't you let me take that dream, and make it real?” Azul threw many potions into the pot, causing multiple fumes to arise and explode with its exotic ingredients. He’s never had a better moment like this. After all, he has to put on an impressive show to the sweet princess of what he’s capable of doing.

            “Come on, you poor unfortunate soul. Poor doll! Poor fish! Aren't you glad you brought your problem to a man that you can trust? Won't you let me grant your wish?” Azul’s a very busy person and he hasn’t got all day. It won’t cost much…just Yuu’s voice!

            “You poor unfortunate soul! Poor sweet! Poor dear! Aren't you lucky that I'm ready with a potion and a plan? Aren't you glad you came and asked if I could help you? And I can!”

            A golden scroll had appeared from thin air, the luminosity glowing in an ever-so-taunting way. Yuu couldn’t make much of what was said on the contract but the last few words were written big and bold, “for all of eternity” with an empty signature slot.

            “When a mermaid comes to Ashengrotto…he has just one demand!” the octopus’ eyes widened greatly, and the circumstances were just right. His contributions, her desperate yearning, the strings beginning to attach to Azul’s fingertips, almost feeling Atlantica in the palm of his hands!

            “You poor,” Yuu grabbed the pen.

            “Unfortunate!” Azul grinned, almost madly.

            “Soullllll~!”

            It was already too late. The moment Yuu finished writing her name in elegant cursive, Azul had eagerly clutched the shining scroll and it disappeared without a trace.

            “It’s a deal!” 

            For a moment, Yuu for some strange reason had accepted what may come. She was prepared if she could see that man up on the shore once again. The Sea Sorcerer must know what he’s doing, so it’s going to be okay… right?

            The Sea Sorcerer recollected himself after safely securing the contract. Now everything will go according to his plans. As Azul began to chant the spell, he ushered the little mermaid, to sing for him. It's the final piece that he needs in order to have the upper hand in the deal. Thoughts of possibly having Yuu’s voice replay her soft pleas to the Sea King are sure to be a sight! Everything he’s ever worked for has finally felt like he’s going to get what he deserved… or so he thought.

            The moment Yuu began to sing, a chord was struck within Azul again. For a second, he felt enchanted, and he left his guard down when he heard the girl’s voice. 

            There’s no mistaking it. 

            The voice that he was hearing in front of him belonged to the one that saved him. 

            Azul’s shoulders were no longer tense and his cunning smile had faded to an almost dazed look. Yuu’s voice was extracted by the magic and had been transferred to a nautilus shell that Azul had held in his hand.

            Instead of laughing in victory, Azul had his thoughts flooded with his feelings clashing against his plans. Oh no, he thought to himself. In exchange for Yuu’s voice, her glimmering tail had begun to undergo a transformation into legs. There wasn’t enough time for Azul to think, she was becoming a human too soon!

            “Floyd! Jade! Take Yuu to the surface, quickly!” Azul ordered with a hint of desperation. The twins had been shocked for a moment that they’d be tasked with doing something nice for the girl, but continued to follow instructions while releasing Grim to swim to the girl. The baby seal had coughed and sighed in relief for air, but then regained his strength.

            “You better not be tricking Yuu, you hear me?!” the little seal hollered at Azul, only to regret his words a little bit later once Azul had grabbed Grim with his tentacles and brought him near his pot.

            “It seems I must change my plans. If she was the one, that means you were probably there too,” Azul muttered to himself and bit his nail on his thumb, thinking about how he can have Grim assist Yuu. Assisting Yuu? Why in the Seven Seas am I thinking about doing something out of goodwill…

            Azul’s tentacles were already moving on their own to create another potion for Grim. Yes, I’ll turn him into a cat so that he can guide her, he thought. Grim yelped as his tail also began to transform, forced to swim to the surface for air.

            “What have I done?…” once the room was empty and it was just the Sea Sorcerer, he cursed the Sevens for having the girl who saved him being the one he made a contract with. He held the glowing nautilus shell in his palm, listening to the remnants of Yuu’s singing play back to his ears, just like how it did when he was on shore. Floyd and Jade shortly returned to Azul’s chambers.

            “Azulll, why’dya have to make us take her up there?” Floyd complained, rubbing his arm.

            “It is quite strange. Why the change of heart?” Jade inquired with a hand on his chest.

            Azul turned away from the twins, not quite sure why he ordered that. Should he tell them what happened after the storm? If he doesn’t, then they might not understand where he’s getting at. He’s never been interested in a girl like this before.

            “This was an unfortunate turn of events, and I’m afraid I may have to get involved more than I should.” the octopus alluded, swimming around his cauldron to gather more ingredients.

            “How so? This is no different than the other love contracts you’ve helped with.” Jade commented.

            “This is different Jade.” Azul managed to string his words together, “the human that she fell in love with was…me.”

            …

            There was a moment of silence between the three of them. Floyd couldn’t contain his laughter after hearing that. Not too long after that Jade also started to laugh. Azul, feeling incredibly embarrassed after saying something so preposterous, felt that he need to explain himself.

            “I’m serious! Oh, I’ve greatly miscalculated what I needed to do.” He repeatedly tapped the side of his head, “Ever since she saved me from the shipwreck, I couldn’t get her voice out of my head! Curse this all…” he was conflicted with what he should do. He thought he had everything laid out ready for him, but the thought of Yuu waltzing on land with someone else who isn’t him had upset him even more.

            Jade swam in front of the octopus to take a look at his face, “Azul, what are you talking about?”

            “…Should I just wait for the three days to be over? No– no, she could possibly fall in love with someone else during that time.” Azul started to ramble to himself as he thought about what he should do next.

            “Jade, I think he’s finally lost it.” Floyd nudged their boss, but to no avail, he didn’t move.

            After coming to his senses, Azul managed to explain the whole situation to the twins, about how he was knocked out during the storm, and the voice that saved him was one he was looking for earlier, not realizing or noticing why he had been caring more about this than he should. In the end, Azul started to act alone on his own accord. Despite all of this going against what he believed, he can’t help but think that he needs to take proper responsibility, at least to clear up the misunderstanding. The twins understand that he won’t be at ease if things are left on their own.

            I can’t believe I’m doing this, Azul prepared a potion for him to become human as well.

            “Yes, after all, this is all merely a part of my design. I’ll be going in and about, let all of her time run out, and long before she’s his she will be mine.”

            Slowly emerging from the waters, Azul had fixed his coat and stood tall and confident not too far from Yuu who had managed to cover herself with a torn sail around her body, which hardly even complimented the shape of her figure. Grim yelped, a bit alarmed that Azul would come up to the surface. After all, he is a sketchy businessman known as the infamous Sea Sorcerer.

            “Ah, I forgot,” Azul offered his hand to the helpless Yuu that struggled to stand with her brand-new pair of legs, “I’ll teach you how to walk like a human. This way, you’ll be able to blend in with the people in no time.” He was no different from her when he first learned to gain the ability to walk on two feet. Thankfully the twins weren’t there, or not they wouldn’t shut up about his previous struggles adjusting to his human form. 

            Trembling knees like a newborn fawn, Yuu stumbled forward into Azul’s arms. Instead of getting frustrated, she showed pure adoration for this brand-new experience. It’s obvious that the sheltered princess would take this opportunity and enjoy every moment of it. She looked down at her now-standing feet and then back up at Azul with a proud innocent grin. It’s kind of endearing to see, Azul thought with his business smile on his face. Although they were close in proximity, he quickly set an appropriate distance between their bodies and cleared his throat.

            He held one hand in his and his other on the other side of her waist. “Now then,” Azul gently pulled her forward so she can instinctively use her feet to prevent herself from falling once again, “we’ll begin step by step.” 

            “You got this, Yuu! If I can do it, then you can too!” Grim pranced around in his new form as he ran around, eventually wandering off to somewhere else on the beach.

            Something about her unadulterated excitement for simple things such as walking had been enough to make Azul feel a bit softer than usual. He felt a twinge of guilt, seeing how delighted Yuu was with him in his company already with trust. After a few more moments of walking together, it seemed that Yuu was ready to walk a bit faster. The Sea Sorcerer slowly released the girl from his grasp and the girl appeared more gorgeous to him than before. Her eyes lit up as she took a few steps backward confidently on her own. The man watched with a steady gaze, feeling a sense of pride that she was able to learn so quickly. Yuu beamed, then attempted to spin around in a circle but had gotten too caught up in her elation that she missed a step of her own.

            “Careful!” Azul quickly rushed forward and caught Yuu by the waist, leaning more forward than he should’ve, leaving the awed girl to stare into his silvery eyes for a bit longer than she should’ve. The man gulped, not quite sure how he could play off the situation smoothly without stuttering or skipping a word. The longer he watched her, the more he began to appreciate her presence and be warier of touch.

            “There’s someone coming this way, Yuu!” Grim interrupted the precious moment between Azul and Yuu without a care in the world. He leaped into the arms of Yuu, and purred happily. 

            The sound of approaching footsteps signaled that it was time for Azul to take his leave, slowly releasing the princess from his grasp. That’s right, she’s the princess. The daughter of the Sea King. Things couldn’t possibly work out between us, Azul thought with the insecurity of his incompatible position to court her.

            Despite the numerous amount of times that he rejects his feelings, he has inevitably been drawn in by her.

            “Ahem. Good luck, Yuu. May you find the man you seek of.” How ironic, isn’t it? To purposefully set someone up for failure just to utilize them for their worth. Although these thoughts were on his mind, they didn’t affect the look of excitement that had never left her face as she eagerly waved with one hand goodbye to him. Adjusting the hat on his head, Azul promptly disappeared from her sight.

            Yuu was getting jittery, fixing her hair as much as she can and determined, hoping that the man who turned around the corner was the one she was looking for, but to her disappointment, it was someone else. It was the man that was getting drunk on the boat– Prince Elias was it? The girl wore a smile, either way, not wanting to show her displeasure for this man.

            As for Prince Elias, he gave a low whistle the moment he laid eyes on the princess. His eyes raked her body up and down in one of the most disrespectful ways without blatantly hiding it, but he coughed into his fist and approached her. She was quite the jewel and a maiden that he hadn’t seen before in the kingdom. Something about the way she held herself, the way that she confidently stood tall and had not seemed to have too much of an interest in him. This would be another trophy he’d conquer if he got her to marry him.

            Out of all people that were to show up, why did it have to be this guy?! Azul anxiously watched from afar, hidden from the line of sight of the crowd on the shore. With the time spent on the human lands, he knew exactly what kind of guy Prince Elias was! A womanizer, playboy, and fool who cannot properly recognize the high-value woman standing right in front of him! Oh boy, Azul was gritting his teeth together, as if this whole situation could get any more complicated. He needs to come up with another plan. Although he may benefit from all of this if he stayed out of the equation, he can’t just let Yuu be around him!

            Prince Elias had walked up to Yuu and Grim began to hiss at the man approaching. Perhaps Yuu can find that charming gentleman again if she were to go with the prince to his residence. The prince, on the other hand, was thinking about how his assistant the other day was ushering him to get married. Looking up and down at the girl once more, he started to have ulterior motives of his own.

            “Shipwrecked? Hey, let me take you to my castle and get you cleaned up.” Prince Elias invited, trying to snake a hand around the girl’s waist, but she pushed herself away. The man raised his eyebrow and took this as a challenge. “You can’t talk? Well, that’s alright. I’ll help you and make sure you’re taken care of,” he said as they both walked off in the distance, leaving Azul to his own thoughts.

            The rage started to bubble within him, I don’t want her to be viewed like eye candy to a foul man like Prince Elias, he thought. She should be admired like a piece of art– not like a pile of food in front of a starving man! Men like Prince Elias would immediately lust over her rather than worship her for her worth.

            Azul trusted that Yuu’s devoted friend, Grim, would keep an eye on her. He watched as Prince Elias led the princess to his castle.

            “If you really want things to be done right, then you really have to do it yourself.” Azul was going to make his next move.

            After getting cleaned up and dressed by the maids, Yuu admired everything around her. The warm light shining on everything and through the large windows of the palace was a big change from the cool colors that she saw every day in the waters. Not only there were many people in various clothing, but the gadgets and gizmos were more complex and actually functioning compared to the ones she had under the sea! The Dinglehopper is a personal favorite that she has in her possession (she borrowed it from the dining hall).

            Her own bedroom was illuminated by a candle on her nightstand. She combed through her hair with the Dinglehopper and walked toward where she was supposed to sleep. Grim sat on the nightstand and yawned, “We can brainstorm ideas on finding your dream man tomorrow.” She patted the cat’s head and sat herself down on the bed, and to her surprise, the bed sank under her. What an incredible invention! And a comfortable one, too.

            Yuu sank into the soft mattresses of her own bed, relishing the joy of being on land like she always dreamed of. Grim jumped on the pillow next to her, “This is amazing, who knew being on land could be so much fun?” The princess excitedly nodded her head as she shook his little paws. She couldn’t help but kick her legs with joy against the bed. It was going to be a long day ahead of her tomorrow as she searches for that gentleman she saved. A whole new life awaits her! She can’t be any more grateful to Azul for doing this for her.

            After a while, the energy from Yuu had finally calmed down and she is fast asleep with Grim in her arms. The fluffy grey cat pulled himself free from her grasp and leaped on the nightstand. He smiled at his dear friend, oh how much has happened within this short amount of time. 

            “Good night, Yuu.” And he blew the candle out.

Part 1: You finished reading it! :)

Part 2: Here!

Part 3: Here!

[red-dye40]

iunno if you're still doing the directors cut thing but -> 💫

yes! always until the end of time because i love to talk!

here’s some commentary for ancaux chapter 9:

“You can get started on his limbs. I recommend below the joints for first-timers; it won’t be as clean but it’ll be easier, and you can take breaks between the ulna and the radius–” he points, with the tip of the machete, to the forearms, “–and the tibia and fibula–” he points, next, to the calves, “–if it gets too tough.”

i do think that, as an active homicidal maniac, nny had his own stupid names for bones, since i don’t imagine he was ever a serial killer who like studied the human form??? i think he just kinda learned as he went along and never opened a book on anatomy in his life. because the body is disgusting to him. HOWEVER i have this idea that, in this au where he gets help and treatment, he still obviously has his natural curiosity and lust for killin, and so sometimes he’ll like check out a bunch of anatomy and biology books from the library to quell his ~urges~, and maybe a more sterile and clinical approach will make him less inclined to act on anything. nerd.

Without a head, with his limbs all twisted to fit more securely in the fridge, with his bizarrely expensive but otherwise unimpressive clothes soaked in dried blood, he doesn’t look much like a person anymore. He looks kind of pathetic, definitely more than a little silly.

i spent my late teens / early 20s exclusively around art students because my sister was a fine arts major and i didn’t go to college so i had no friends otherwise :) her like closest friends were this group of extremely rich kids posing as poor kids and it was so bizarre to experience. they only dressed in ratty clothes but upon further investigation they were actually like one-of-one designer pieces that cost hundreds of dollars and crazy shit like that, and they only ate cigarettes and shitty shitty beer. i went to a party at one of their apartments once and it was inside this like seemingly derelict warehouse, but when we got in it turned out the whole place had been gut-renovated, and he lived in a lofted penthouse with roof access, and everyone there was like smoking weed and giving each other the shittiest tattoos ive ever seen, and i found out his dad paid for his rent and the nelson mandela tattoo thing i mention in later chapters? is based on a Real Thing i saw with my eyes at this party.

“Rigor mortis only lasts like a day.” He plops another finger chunk in a trashbag. “After that, they get all gooshy again.” “I didn’t know that.” “We actually got in at the perfect time!” Johnny continues gratefully. “The window between rigor mortis and true decomposition is small, if nonexistent. Both are extremely unpleasant in their own ways, obviously, but I personally detest the smell of putrefaction. And house flies are annoying.” He wipes a gory gloved hand across the front of his poncho. “So this is really ideal.”

HYPERFIXATION!!!!!! SPECIAL INTEREST IS DEATH AND DECAY!

“The little junkyard doggies love this stuff.” He shakes the contractor bag–its contents make vile, macaroni and cheese-type squishing sounds. “I toss them out my window when I drive by, and they maul each other to try and get to ‘em. It’s so cute.”

i love the little glimpses of weird things nny finds cute that we get in jthm and on the johnny c twitter. i want more of that.

“Does your trunk open with the key, or is there one of those secret buttons somewhere in the front I have to press?” “Oh, the trunk doesn’t open.” Devi freezes in the doorway. She digs her nails into the frame. Slowly, in her comedically loud poncho, she turns to look Nny in his dumb face. “...the trunk doesn’t open… at all?”“Nooooooo, I made a bunch of oobleck for the neighbor kid–I was going to teach him a valuable lesson about the dangers of quicksand and quicksand-adjacent colloids–but then I forgot about it in my trunk during a week-long heat wave and it all kind of exploded.” “And so the trunk doesn’t open.” “Nope.” Johnny finally understands the problem. “Oh damn.” “Yeah, Nny.” Devi grits her teeth. “Yeah, ‘oh damn.’”

SQUEE MENTION 🗣️🗣️🗣️ i think this is one of my fav exchanges in the whole fic. i love for nny to be a huge idiot. i love devi to want to kill him for being a huge idiot.

“If I let you drive, you’re gonna play some fuckin’ irritating classical music you downloaded from LimeWire, and you’re gonna stop at every Cum-N-Go for some cherry flavored swill, and then you’re gonna need to go pee-pees every twenty minutes, and I really really REALLY don’t have the patience for any of that right now, Jonathan.”

this is funny because johnny’s name is most certainly not jonathan. devi knows this.

“If I recall correctly, you slaughtered an entire movie theater’s worth of people when The Fifth Element didn’t meet your IMPOSSIBLY HIGH EXPECTATIONS?? YES?” “IT HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL!” “GARY OLDMAN LOOKED LIKE A PERVERTED BUSINESSMAN WHO GOT BORED HALFWAY THROUGH PUTTING ON A MARILYN MANSON COSTUME AND THAT WAS ON THE POSTER–YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT YOU WERE GETTING YOURSELF INTO!”

this is a little reference to jv’s diary kept during the 1997 roadkill!! tour, in which they see the fifth element and he’s simply underwhelmed. i love the idea of nny getting his hopes up so high for movies and then going completely insane when they’re just whatever. for the record i love the fifth element.

As the car lurches from the inertia of the stop, the twine around the roof of the car groans, and then snaps completely, and with a loud thump the body slides out of the tarp and onto the hood, and its pallid bare ass is pressed up against the windshield. Devi reaches for the gear shift, taps the wipers on the way, and now the ass is doing a weird sexy dance for the two of them as the blades push it back and forth. They’re still screaming. Devi finally shifts it into reverse and turns over the seat to back up–Nny can’t look away from the ass. She floors it. The body goes flying, all rubbery and floppy and veiny and sexy, and the car keeps backing up until it eventually collides with the ceramic squirrel riding a tractor.

i had the idea of nny and devi having to dump the body really early on in writing. LOVE the trope of ppl needing to get rid of a body in a funny way. i didn’t have a plan, i just liked the insurance policy thing, like of nny being really concerned about obeying traffic laws and not wanting to get any demerits (idk i don’t drive) and devi being like “what the fuck you’re literally a mass murderer” and i REALLY wanted all this to feel stupid and not like. idk a bummer in any way. i definitely took a lot of inspo from the scene in search party season 2 (SPOILERS), where they go to the store to find a suitcase for a body and a guy convinces them to buy a really gaudy zebra print one. just weird absurdity stupidity etc.

thank u for the ask sorry this took SO LONG ily PLATONIC!!!!!

[theplumsoldier]

aftermath [2]

summary: you, joel, and ellie enjoy a meal, and as joel tries to make conversation, you become aware of your lack of social skills

pairing: joel miller x reader

word count: 2397

warnings: mentions of drugs (weed), self-doubt, description of reader's wrinkles, reader's age specified (37)

series: aftermath, part 1

Joel returned with not one but four rabbits, the poor fluffs tossed over his shoulder, a somewhat proud demeanor in his bearing.

In the meantime, you had gotten to know Ellie a bit. You had counted on her having already fallen asleep when you returned, seeing as she was oh-so-exhausted. No, she was a curious, quick-witted child who liked to poke her nose where it didn't belong. She reminded you of yourself at that age, and you couldn't help but snort at the way she annoyed you straight away. Back then adults didn't like you much either, at least your teachers did little to hide that fact, and your parents; even less.

It was specifically when it came to materialistic things Ellie could not stop herself from snooping.

Over the years you had amassed a rather large collection of books, comics, and board games, even though it proved difficult to enjoy the ladder seeing as those typically required more than one player—bar that time you managed to play an intense game of Stratego with your drunken self.

After having skinned the rabbits and done all preparations with the help of Joel, you told him to go be with Ellie. He protested, saying helping out was the least he could do, but you insisted.

It was not that you did not need any more help, for you still needed to clean the potatoes and get some ingredients from upstairs. Really you were thankful for his help, although it was indeed the least he could do, but you found yourself unable to concentrate on the task at hand in his company.

Joel had begun asking questions about you, surely not in an attempt to make you uncomfortable but it was that exact effect he had on you. Socializing wasn't your strongest suit and it seemed that once you were all in one room together, each going about your own business, there was this pressure on your shoulders to become a conversationalist and engage in small talk. In your dreams, it always came naturally and it had been so long speaking to someone that you failed to remember just what was so difficult about it, well—now you remembered: you didn't know what to answer nor when you should ask a question in return. Judgemental thoughts stopped you from just speaking freely, making all sentences curt and unnecessarily harsh.

You knew it was yourself making nothing serious into something insanely weird, but you couldn't help it. It had always been like that. With no people around you, it had become less of a pest, but now that you had invited—not one, but two people into your home, this lifelong problem was once again prevailing.

You mentally cursed yourself for not having a joint rolled up and ready, knowing it would help your impediment. You had been slightly surprised by yourself earlier, only now realizing how different you might seem, quiet all of a sudden. It had probably been the adrenaline making you less self-aware and you hoped they wouldn't notice the difference in behavior. You weren't quite sure why you put so much thought into it, but your best guess was the human company.

While Ellie lounged on the couch with her nose in a comic, Joel asked for permission before looking through your books, to which you merely nodded and he realized you primarily had fiction, specifically science fiction and fantasy.

He never had been big on reading, seeing as his contractor job took up most of his time. When he would get home from a long day he usually found it difficult to concentrate on a book, which was why he usually watched television as it did not require his full attention. Back then, he only ever sat down and read the newspaper as he drank his morning coffee.

Joel figured he would give the book The Time Machine by H.G. Wells a shot and he quickly found himself drawn to the story, not noticing when you had disappeared upstairs to gather ingredients.

Upon entering the room which you had transformed into a greenhouse late last summer, you were happy to feel the air moist and heavy. It had taken many losses, a lot of reading up on herbalism, and a lot of patience to find the plants sprouting but it had finally paid off, and the overpowering yet fresh scent of various herbs.

You went with merian, thyme, and rosemary, a proud expression tugging at your features, proud of the little garden you had managed to create.

You checked the soil before going back down, ensuring the herbs were tended to and that the clear tarpaulin kept the rain out from entering through the large hole in the roof. While you had made plans for restoration all throughout the house, you had decided to keep this room mostly as it was, deciding years back that you would need somewhere to keep plants and such when the earth froze in the winters. With half the roof missing from this room, it seemed suitable to merely put a tarp over it for the greenhouse effect.

Later in the evening, you glazed the meat with rosemary and thyme marinade, cut vegetables, and cleaned the potatoes, putting it all together in a casserole and over the fire so that the whole house smelled delicious with a strong aroma.

"Fuck, that smells good!" commented Ellie, eyes wide as she watched you remove the lid. "Holy shit."

The rabbit had such a golden glow it damn near looked like a rotisserie chicken. Poking at the meat with a fork, you were content with the amount of juice it had gathered from the vegetables and cut through it. The meal tasted as great as it looked, and you knew whatever they had expected, your guests were not disappointed.

During dinner, Joel asked about the ingredients and how you managed to keep fresh vegetables and obtain seasoning, to which you hesitantly replied. You were unsure what these people would do, what kind of lengths they would go to, once they found that this home was not half bad. If they were to try and kill you to settle permanently, you would not be surprised.

You had seen what this new world had done to even the kindest people, so you were not about to let your guard down to feel comfortable around some nice people. Experience had taught you as much and as the phrase "fool me once" grazed your mind, you tensed up and suddenly became hyperaware of their every move, watching Joel as if the fork he used to shovel food into his mouth would be his weapon of choice.

For the rest of the night, you kept your distance, cautiously keeping an eye out.

This mien did not go unnoticed. With Ellie in his care, it was his job to look out for danger and where clickers and such had a specific mien giving their trouble away, humans tended to behave in suspect ways.

The way Joel saw it, there were two options: either you were - like he himself was - suspicious as a result of limited human interaction and awkward therefore, which he concluded would be a result of your conversational skills (or lack thereof). Or you were waiting for them to sleep so that you may kill them and put an end to this visit.

Either way, Joel knew to be wary of you. That did not stop him from quizzing you about your situation, however. While you cleaned the table and filled the casserole with hot water to let it soak while also using it as a dishpan

"You been 'ere alone the past 20 years?" questioned he, hoping to paint a picture of the circumstances. Joel knew this situation easily could go sideways if anyone suddenly showed up. It was long ago he had learned that one territorial person was better than two, which meant the fewer, the better.

Luckily for him, you did not pick up on his double-dealing tone. You were far too concentrated on what he said, not what he meant.

Joel immediately detected you tense up, like you had at dinner, and when he pointed his eyes at you, yours were blank, staring into the grimy water in the makeshift dishpan.

"It's..." stuttered you, clenching your jaw in realization, and looked up at him. "It's been 20 years?"

Joel did not know what to say, realizing he had assumed you were aware of the time that had passed. He watched as your lips drew into a sharp line, feeling an overwhelming gush of guilt. Still, his self-reproach did not hinder his analytical mind and he decided that it would make sense for someone who lived in total isolation to not keep track of such a thing. He figured that if he had been alone all these years, time would be the least of his worries.

A surge of cold air made you cast your glance back down into the dirty water, his words and then silence being all you needed to suddenly become very, very sad.

Inhaling, your breath came out ragged. Now you really hated not having a joint at hand.

You didn't know why, but with these news unexpectedly dawned on you, it felt as if something expanded in your chest. A void, or maybe something filling it? Although you felt sad, you also felt your breath hitch as if you were exhilarated by this information. 20 years.

That's a long time.

That would make you 37 years old.

When you chuckled Joel's eyebrows went from sitting in a tentative crease to drawing close to his hairline. The same laugh this woman he used to date would emit whenever she was pissed. Crazy, Sarah would call her. It's in her eyes, she said. Joel hadn't noticed he had taken a small step back.

You cleared your throat, discerning a certain worry on his face so you shook your head, a wry grin unable to leave your lips now. "I... yeah—I've been living alone—sorry, what year is it?"

"2023."

Yeah, 37. Holy shit.

Without saying another word, you picked up the plate and continued cleaning. Joel caught on, thinking it best to not poke your mind anymore. For now, at least. He could practically hear the gears turning in your head, so the two of you finished doing the dishes in silence with only the light splashing sounds from the water and plates clamoring as they were stacked on top of another.

After dinner, you went into the bathroom to check on the wound Ellie had been so kind to give you. The bandages needed changing and while you did so, cleaning the area in the proces, you found yourself inspecting your features. Honestly, you would not have guessed you were 37.

There were fine lines around your eyes and a hardened crease cutting the space between your brows, however, there were no darkness circling your eyes, nor those heavy bags that usually makes elderly people's faces look perpetually puffy and scrunched up. Upon closer inspection, you found that wrinkles had formed on your neck, and the skin attaching your ears to the sides of your face had little lines adorning it.

Compared to what you remembered from the vague memory you had of your mother's face when she was in her early forties, you figured the years had been kind to you.

Had you been asked you would have guessed you were younger, for you thought 20 years of this life that you had lived would have taken its toll. Subconsciously you began thinking about your lifestyle, for you had indeed been getting sleep, you ate well and despite not having seen an infected in a long time - your guess would be years but you had recently come to understand you had absolutely no sense of time - a day did not pass without doing some kind of work around the house which had your heart galloping. Keeping all the obvious reasons for living a stressful life in mind, you supposed you had been living a rather healthy couple of years. Of course, social interactions were uncommon, to say the least, but that had never been something that bothered you.

It grazed your mind to think of these people in your home as an opportunity to brush up on conversational skills. Perhaps interaction did not have to be as difficult a thing as your mind made it out to be.

That idea was wiped from your mind the minute you entered the living room again, though. With Joel's eyes torn from his book and on you the second you stood there, ready to "give it a go", an invisible tail gave away your cowardice and you immediately went into your bedroom, shutting the door behind you.

No, not doing that.

Joel couldn't keep his attention on the book, eyes being torn from the pages and mind wandering at the faintest sounds. Ellie had fallen asleep, her mouth slightly agape with soft snores escaping whenever she turned in her slumber. Joel felt a warmth in his chest as he watched her with such a peaceful expression on her face.

When you came out from the bathroom, his gaze instinctively shifted to your frame. He offered a small smile but the second he did your eyes widened you turned on your heel and disappeared into the bedroom.

Joel's eyes lingered on the door until he figured you had gone to sleep, before turning his attention back to the book. His eyes read the same line he had for the past hour or so, but in a curious way, the sentence changed to the thoughts running through his brain, occupying the pages with his wonders rather than those of H.G. Wells.

A minute later you exited the room again, this time with two blankets clutched to your chest. Hurriedly striding up to him, your eyes glued to the ground.

Joel stood up as you neared him, thanking you and accepting the blankets as you extended them, shoving them into his chest, and only then you looked up, nodding.

You took the chance to watch him more closely, inspecting his features in the dim light of the fireplace. He was even more handsome up close.

Stepping back, you offered a barely noticeable nod. "Good night."

[rosexmary]

*will probably delete this post soon*

*If you are a beginner spirit worker please skip this one lol*

Uhh sorry for this sudden post but is anyone interested in making contract with demonic spirit?

Yeah i know you are probably thinking tf you talking about😭

Okay so there’s this one guy who’s been looking for a human to make a contact

He reached out to me and asked me if i wanna do it but I refused because I didn’t wanna make my other companions annoyed (as you probably know already they get jealous really easily.)

And then he was like “alright then can you help me find one?”

I honestly wanted to just refuse because i’m already tired but i first asked why he wanted to make a contract with human

Basically he said he wanted to make a contract because he wanted an “energy source”

This is basically what he’s offering

-i help you with your sorcery, astral travel, or even just your daily life

-you give me your energy twice a month

You are probably thinking “why would i want that? other spirits help with those without asking for my energy”

And yeah that’s true but this is kind of just his nature. I won’t say what type of demonic spirit he is but his species, as far as i know, usually prefer give and take relationships rather than giving relationships. He also said he thinks that this kind of relationships are far more easier to be bonded close.

And here’s some more basic info about him

*more info about him and the contract will be given to those who are interested*

Name : he doesn’t want his name to be revealed. He will prefer his contractor to give him a name.

Gender (again, spirits don’t have a gender. This is just what his energy feels like) : masculine

Age : I don’t know either😅 he doesn’t want to tell me

I asked him to describe himself and he just said “I can be anything you think of” 😀❓

But his personality, in my experience, is demanding and serious but also kind of funny? He has a “dark humor” if you know what i mean. He is sarcastic and a perfectionist. He HATES messy/dirty places.

If you are looking for someone who can emotionally support you, he ISNT the one sorry🫵🏻

He might make your mental health worse so if you are mentally unstable, he isn’t the one.

And this is why I recommend only summoning him when you need him. If you have him in your daily life he might affect you in a bad way.

Plus, he doesn’t have a good understanding of humans at least not yet.

And…he is kind of sadistic? He does not hesitate to hurt others but when you sign a contract with him, he won’t hurt you in any situations. You are even allowed to ask him to protect you.

Even though he is kind of sadistic, he has his own “rules”

He has his ideal life with his contractor and he doesn’t want to break it. He wants to have a “perfect” life with his contractor.

Oh and plus, he can also work as a butler too if you have another home in other realm.

Yeah that’s basically it. If anyone’s interested, please leave a comment👍

And maybe more info about him in the next post? Idk if he’ll allow it tho

[ext1nctanimals]

(Hope this isn't annoying im running on 3h sleep) no but, i genuinely think one of white students' BIG issues today is the inability to NOT know things. I think it's a big reason for use of AI too- white students end up so petrified of not "getting it" that they close themselves off from any possible academic/literary/etc thing that could possibly challenge them.

And it's fucking disastrous! Bc the student who cannot dare to read a book with more than dialogue and platitudes, who cannot stomach being outside their Colleen Hoover wankfest for more than a second at a time- these people graduate into roles requiring empathy that they have CHOSEN not to learn.

And yes, I know that empathy is not the same as being a good or compassionate person. But the knowledge that the person going into politics/medicine could not manage reading about a perspective other than their own for a single week? It is literally dire.

(Sorry I hope this wasn't annoying. I have thoughts about cultural literacy)

NOOOOOO YOURE SO RIGHT i think that we have killed curiosity in many ways. it’s so important to be like well i don’t know shit about this but i want to. and i think a lot of it is being disrupted by this white fantasy of total innocence and cleanliness where they’re like i can’t get canceled for interacting with Black writers wrong if i never do it! and it’s like. oh my god. take an intellectual risk and try really hard not to hurt other people on purpose.

it particularlyyyyyy pisses me off with baldwin because yes he is Black yes he wrote largely about Blackness but he is so often writing to/for white people. he addresses them directly!!! he starts sentences like “white man, listen to me:” and some of my co-teachers will be like “my white students dont get it so i took it off the syllabus.” WELL TRY HARDER? you’re teaching it badly if your students cannot read an essay directly addressed to people like them and get anything out of it. but i think these teachers are also white and cannot figure out how to approach with curiosity and think they must know everything because they are teachers doling out knowledge to students.

i am here maybe having read more Baldwin than the average suburban 18 year old has (and i was once a suburban 18 year old encountering him for the first time!) but i don’t know everything; i haven’t thought of every way to read him; i haven’t even read everything he’s written. a student encountering him for the first time has something to say. you need to create a classroom where they know this

though there’s also a lot of stem students who believe that they don’t need to cultivate empathy in this way because it won’t make them more employable or help them get into med school. well yeah i guess. but maybe taking a humanities class will keep you from becoming a fucking weapons contractor. idk girl. what the hell

i saw this as a k-12 educator and i see it at the college level now but also the covid learning curve is having horrific consequences for students. and i know it’s not their fault but we are being told (by school districts and by university admin) to lower our expectations of these kids and expect no intellectual rigor and ask for nothing from them. i don’t believe in college being miserable for kicks or anything but i think that 18 year olds are capable of doing hard things, and college is the place to practice that and fall on your face and get up so that you aren’t figuring out how to do it at a job that can fire you. and also where your refusal to touch anything complicated means you will do actual harm. you don’t need to be an intellectual i guess but then don’t come to college if you think learning and being challenged to learn more is stupid lol

idk. i think in many ways i disagree with the tiktok crowd about what the point of reading is. i think you should read to learn Something. and sometimes you read to learn a story and that’s okay! sorry i wrote a five paragraph essay about this lol but the idea that reading should be all pleasure and never challenging kind of makes me wanna kms

[mandalorianbrainweasel]

If I might request another clone be subjected to Spar, perhaps Commander Fox?

“Uh, commander?”

Fox looks up from the documentation he’s filling out—most of his job is documentation and at this point it’s the part of the job he likes, especially because it looks like he’s about to be dealing with a part he doesn’t like. “Yes, Lieutenant?” he asks, trying hard not to sound too tired or annoyed.

“We found someone…out of bounds. In High General Fett’s office.”

Fox rockets out of his seat. “What?” he asks, panicked. “Apprehended? Did you check for explosives? Was anything taken?”

“Yes, apprehended. We did check for explosives and found nothing. Nothing was in their pockets but some things were out of place. They’re, uh, in an interrogation room right now, but you’re the only one on shift right now with the seniority to ask about that kind of stuff.”

Ugh. He is, isn’t he? 

“Alright,” he says, nodding and reaching for his bucket. “Let’s get this over with.”

Fox is expecting some kind of criminal, someone dressed for stealth or rough like a bounty hunter. He’s expecting some other species, or maybe one of those pale humans who tend to get really angry when a clone bumps into them on the street. And he is, for sure, expecting some kind of poor mood—whether it’s a completely neutral expression with anger and hate hidden behind the eyes or annoyance or anger at getting caught.

Instead, he gets a loudly dressed, dark skinned human-passing person, covered in gold jewellery and brightly dyed cloth, with a genuine, nearly sweet smile on their face.

He’s put off balance and immediately suspicious. “Hello,” he says, because he can at least pretend to be polite. “I’m Commander Fox.”

“Nice to meet you, Commander,” the prisoner says with cheerful amusement. 

Fox frowns under his bucket and laces his fingers together on the table as he sits across from them. “Name?”

The prisoner just smiles.

Fox sighs. “What were you doing in that office?”

Just. Smiles.

“Look,” he says, sighing. “Spies and saboteurs go to jail for a long time.”

“That’s good,” the prisoner says. They sound genuine. 

Fox turns off his vocoder and sighs messily as he leans back in his seat. How are they going to get information out of this person? But then there’s noise from outside and Fox jumps as the door behind him slides open. 

The prisoner’s entire face lights up. “Soo-coy gar or-tat! Did you get everything alright?”

Fox turns around to find a very, very annoyed High General Fett.

“I gave you my key card,” he says, aggravated.

“And the guards at your office are very, very good,” the prisoner says, almost like they’re admiring Fox’s men for taking them in. 

“You could have knocked them out.” What.

The prisoner shrugs. “I didn’t want to cause you any trouble.”

“I had to come down to the CG offices to pick you up.”

“You could have sent someone else. Or just commed. I can get home from here.”

Fett makes a whistling noise that Fox finds he’s intimately familiar with—he makes it at the shinies a lot. “There is a homicidal, immortal bounty hunter that is very protective over the fact he has your bounty right now.”

“Did you get your keycard back from the CG?”

Fett sighs. “Yes. I did. Come on, get up.”

“Uh, sir?” Fox interjects. “We—.”

“You did your job!” the prisoner tells him, and the binders tumble to the table as they get up to pat his shoulder. “So did your men! You simply…didn’t consider that I wasn’t someone who wasn’t supposed to be there.”

Fett looks unimpressed. Fox isn’t sure who with. “Commander Fox. This is my younger sibling, Akaanik’sha. Sometimes he goes to get things for me in my office; usually there are other people in the offices to let them in. I guess the men assigned today weren’t ones who have seen that happen before.”

“I’m not wearing beskar today, so that might affect it,” the younger Fett says, voice dimming as they head out of the room. 

Fox stares after them.

What.

No really, what?

Why the hell is someone who isn’t a contractor and isn’t an officer allowed to handle stuff in High General Fett’s office, related or not? Fox certainly doesn’t let most of his brothers rifle through his office and they’re all part of the GAR!

What the hell just happened?

(I’m accepting clones to subject to Spar for a while.)

[youvereachedthebadend]

Gah, places where the only option is to call annoy me so much. Some people can’t hear or talk, or do other things required for phone calls! Not me, I’m capable of it, but still. It’s the *principle*.

"Exactly." Marvin nods.

Jameson makes a face. You have no idea how many times I've had to work around that after arriving in this time period.

"Yeah, we've had to call for JJ a couple times," Jackie says.

Marvin sighs. "I can call, though. Honestly, sometimes I think that's easier, since you don't have to risk your email getting responded to by a bot. You're almost certainly going to be talking to a human."

Stacy raises an eyebrow. "What places were you calling where you didn't get caught in a robot answering machine loop?"

"You just have to keep pressing the 'other' button over and over until the company either hangs up on you or lets you talk to a person," Marvin says. "But I know this water company. They'll pick up eventually." He takes a bite from his donut. "In the meantime... anyone need me to summon some water and soap?"

"Don't talk with food in your mouth," Chase says automatically. He jerks his head towards the kids, who are listening nearby.

"I think we are all good for now," Henrik says.

The next few hours pass without much of note; just more cleaning. They're still too scared to open the fridge just yet. Marvin makes a couple different calls, to the water company and some contractors to schedule a home inspection. Everyone who applied for jobs checks their emails for responses, but haven't found anything. Anti heads out into the city on his own first, then about an hour later the others set off, with Stacy and Chase taking the kids to a park and the other three head for the shop JJ mentioned yesterday, Letitia's Studio. Marvin stays behind to try and use magic to help with the deeper cleaning.

[kyogre-blue]

I huff about the Wrath of the Rock thing mostly bc if I started talking about how badly contracts were done in Liyue I'd never stop lol. What he did with Wanyan was the most in-your-face about it and had me FUMING, yes, but I honestly really want to know what the adepti are getting out of their contracts and why exactly they still had to hold up their end of the bargain when the contractor was supposed to be dead. Like? A contract really is supposed to benefit both parties? What service has Zhongli been providing? NOT kicking them out of Liyue's mountains or something? Is he a landowner? And Xiao's contract is just downright exploiting him - I'd think the translation mistook "contracts" for "oaths" somewhere but no, Yanfei exists.

And I was curious bc I distinctly recall a Liyue NPC praying to Barbatos....checked, her name's Chishui! And she says though it's tradition in Liyue to worship the Geo Archon the winds are what truly determine whether her sailor husband is safe, though she admits it's rare (unsure if she means liyue locals praying to Barbatos or locals praying to another god in general). She says any god will do as long as they keep her husband safe though, so maybe she just has either less patriotism or more common sense idk.

Gahhh unreliable information is so annoying. I remember thinking when I started playing that maybe humans already had their own "type" and their ruling archon just neutrally crystalised it, given it IS supposed to be their own ambitions and all. As it is, now I don't trust anything about vision lore bc I know it's going to get dashed later on rip

Hahaha................. yeah.

But yeah.

In general, one of Genshin's biggest missed opportunities is arguably doing nothing with their gods' supposed ideals.

Mondstadt is freedom town, so that's nice, but there's no actual commentary on freedom, even though there's potential for something juicy with how they walked themselves into the Aristocracy entirely on human free will. Liyue is uh contracts, but "contracts" can mean any of like three different things minimum, with no distinction or examination of any of them. Inazuma tried, but they did not connect Yoimiya's musings, Ei's misguided grief nonsense and then the uuuh revelations (?) she had when communing with her dead sister's spirit inside a magic that went back in time for some reason (???) particularly well. And Sumeru is just a joke, they don't even try.

These seem to be basically just buzzwords that exist for flavor, rather than any real meaning.

I feel like part of the supernatural contracts in Liyue might relate to the weird third party racism that archons engage in for the sake of humans. Like how the oni had to do some weird dance to live with humans and how Azhdaha basically has no rights because won't you think of the humans. Adepti originally start out with a flavor of being fairly alien in their thinking and don't interact with humans well at all, so them having a contract that forces them to prioritize humans is potentially meant to make sure they kill fewer people.

In that sense, the service Zhongli provides is that he doesn't execute all their asses for imprisoning random people in amber and shit like that, I guess?

But they really did not keep any of this consistent.

Which isn't surprising. Genshin never cares about consistency, which is why its lore might be cool but its worldbuilding is pretty awful.

In regard to worshipping foreign gods, its presumably possible. I do recall there's a Sumeru NPC who also prays to Barbatos, though other NPCs near him didn't seem thrilled with that. On the whole, Genshin is hardly going to ever create a tense enough situation where there's acknowledged religious or national fervor that could lead to people getting genuinely targeted for acting in a way that's not seen as socially acceptable. But logically speaking, it's not even just plain "following a minority religion" deal, these gods are also the government and immediately present divine rulers. Barbatos isn't around and Morax is pretty chill, but like imagine if you want to make a shrine to a different god next to your house. How is that going to go over? If you apply just basic "how humans act about things" from the real world.....

[be-good-be-safe-be-kind]

(un)employment :(

getting increasingly frustrated with being unemployed and all of the circles i'm running in to find employment. slightly annoyed that i'm unable to file for unemployment, because i have not been legally employed since like 2014. also can't get disability aid because every time i take a tiny baby step forwards, i get knocked backwards into a wall (aka managed to get an evaluation after years of waiting, only to be told that i'm just anxious and choosing not to work). fantastic that i keep getting suggestions on how to improve my resume, and no one listening when i explain that there's only so many ways i can bullshit my skills and experiences sections when i haven't technically worked in nearly a decade and was a student for most of my life.

'work from home jobs and remote working is great!' yeah and a lot are commission only and/or MLM schemes, or are only available in certain areas despite being remote, or require you to buy your own equipment, or are actually travel-based / door-to-door sales stuff (and part of my disability is i can't drive). and a lot also require resumes and proof of employment history, and knowledge of specific industries like medical billing or insurance or auto repair.

terrific having a degree that doesn't mean much because 'english and creative writing with a concentration in screenwriting' might look good on paper but without a portfolio or anything sold and/or produced to prove that i can write, it's just bs (technically it's a BA but that's not the point). 'just be a teacher' uhh i can't, i'm not certified. 'okay then a tutor' that requires a different certification that i also don't have money for. 'what about a librari-' master's degree. 'oh you can have a blog!' sure. post... what, exactly, and make a profit... how? (which technically i know how to do; it is kinda funny though watching people sputter when i ask them follow-ups on this) love applying to jobs, getting ghosted, then seeing the little 'urgently hiring' banners on the listings months later, applying again, and still hearing nothing back. really does great things for my confidence to not receive any feedback as to why i'm not what these people are looking for, or what they do want. great that i get some automated 'click here to schedule an interview/follow up meeting' messages from recruiters and then the links are broken, or no spots are available, and i can't connect to an actual human person to ask for clarification because the emails are outgoing only and there's no way to reach them. delighted that for the past three years, every fucking retailer in a 10 mile radius is desperately hiring, with maybe two people working a five checkout store, and yet i either get ghosted or a notification every 90 days asking me if i want to re-submit my application. which i do, and have done, for three years. super fun finding out via screencaps (and then looking for the sources to confirm) that national geographic likely didn't get back to me because they're discontinuing print media, fired all staff writers, and have freelancers/contractors working on tiktok and tiktok-ified platforms.

[running out of positive words to pretend i'm not dying inside] that hundreds of emails confirmed i applied for jobs, in almost every field/industry that i meet the marks for, yet apparently i can't do any of these things. i can't shelve cans. can't stand at the counter of the college coffeeshop/bookstore. can't be a preschool TA (one of the only jobs i was legally working for years). can't do inventory or prepare food or take customer orders or work a cash register. can't edit study guides or write ads or do market research or write scripts for youtube 'deep' dives or literally dozens of other things that i went to school to learn how improve my skills. absolutely wonderful that simon & schuster got bought out by paramount, a struck company, (after federal ruling said they couldn't be bought out by penguin/random house/whoever else the fuck they consolidated) and then sold to a private company which is known for buying out places, bleeding them dry, and putting hundreds of thousands of people out of work, so even though i have a snowball's chance in hell of getting the job, idk. (this one's more of a ramble)

'reach out to people you know' idk how to break it to you, person making this suggestion, that you know i don't have irl people and the online people are in other timezones. and as much as i would love to move across the country to live with friends, not gonna do that to bag groceries and be unable to pay rent.

'you have to stop being so picky' okay fine let's try something. you sift through job boards and corporate websites with crappy filters, you get your hopes up when the little 'you meet all employer qualifications' thing is on the top of a listing, only to find you are in no way, shape, or form qualified, you set up accounts for bullshit portals and click through links to resubmit the same info four times only to be met with an asterisk requiring you to put current employer information, you get other surprise obstacles along the way like needing to record a video message or taking a 45 minute skills test on a 'quick apply' listing, you reply politely to recruiters saying they reviewed your profile and you'd be perfect for the job, knowing they did not, in fact, look at your profile at all because you cannot work in kentucky as an IT manager or pittsburgh as an accountant or boston as a goddamn dental surgeon. you drain all your batteries and find that the day is nearly over and you have nothing to show for it but eye strain.

[bharathomeapplianceservices]

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Endnote

Generally speaking, it's preferable to contact a microwave repairing qualified contractor to diagnose and repair your microwave. Using a multimeter to test the parts and replace them yourself is doable, but it can be risky if you don't know what you're doing. If your microwave is integrated, accessing it may be difficult as well.

Even after being unplugged for a while, microwave capacitors can still hold a lot of energy. In the event that you accidently touch active components, this charge may be strong enough to provide a possibly lethal electric shock. If you wish to attempt to repair your microwave yourself, it is crucial to properly discharge the capacitor before you begin.