#animation is so time consuming. i cant believe no one has ever realized this before

[flufflecat]

this is STILL not my beautiful wife

[izanyas]

do you have any favorite quotes, including from your own writing? i would supplement some from your works but that would lead me to reread all ur bsd ones and i save my izanyas rabbit hole phase for every six months or else i'd be emotionally destroyed (your power...!!)

YOUR IZANYAS RABBIT HOLE AAAAAH

oh god i haven't thought about it before!! let me just check Everything

Portrait of You:

The only people who know of Chuuya’s exploits are his boss and those who live to tell the tale; and the tale is told in whispers around meeting tables, never flashed onto TV screens for the uninvolved to consume. HERO NAME v. VILLAIN NAME, the screens say, red or blue background on the left where a hero smiles, purple or black on the right where the villain stares, mouth open to show teeth.

Chuuya knows which side of the screen he’d be on. He knows what Corruption looks like.

In Normalcy's Good Name:

Loneliness, he thinks. A disease he cannot fix by himself, though he tries.

Febrile:

He dreamed of long expanses of grass that turned to rocks and sand; he dreamed of high stone buildings, white as snow, of empty wooden bell-towers that still sang alongside his breathing; he dreamed for a long time, and he dreamed for no time at all. Instants blended together into infinite stretches of time as he flew and crawled and swam, each chime of the unseen bell turning the world into something different and new.

Outside the Realm of Gratitude:

What a mind Claude has. What a heart too, so well-hidden and preserved that Lorenz once thought it non-existent. It is painfully clear to him now just how obtuse he has been.

Build Upon the Ruins:

He understood, right then, that he had never known anyone before. Not like this. He stood wordless in the only home he had a claim to, however reluctant a claim it was; and as he let the whispers of a connection that no two humans should ever share bleed out, he realized that he would never again know someone.

“Now,” Dazai said, watching him greedily. “This is a sight for sore eyes.”

Hello, Chuuya thought, heart shaking.

It was Dazai’s voice he heard whispering back.

It’s so good to meet you.

Tomorrow Has Not Yet Come:

Killing, it turns out, is like riding a bicycle. You never forget how to do it.

Slow Learner:

That was the problem with cultivating the image of a perpetual liar—no one believed him when he wanted to say the truth.

Light:

“It’s a beautiful name,” she said, looking at him with what she thought must be obvious longing. Chuuya, her mind told her again. Chuuya. A name to say in one heartbeat. “You should be proud of it.”

Chuuya looked up at her from under his lashes, cheeks flushed, eyes bright. He always wore vulnerability around him like cloth, but this kind, she had not seen before. This kind she felt in her heart at the turning point of anger; this kind she felt under her skin like a second set of ribs.

Feet Over Harsh Ground:

She remembered blooming petal by petal in the dark of that secret place. She remembered sunlight in the shape of a girl. She remembered her joy and her fear and no one can ever know, Akiko.

No one could ever know.

End of the Famine:

That’s the thing with Dazai. He always looks a second away from fading into thin air, like his being corporeal is only an exercise in politeness. Like his true form lies somewhere between nothing and less than.

Blind Eye:

If only you’d been born a boy, he wished, not for the first time. If only I had a brother.

If Huaisang had been born a brother of his, someone like Lan Xichen or Meng Yao, or even one of those boys she so liked to write about; perhaps then Nie Mingjue would have known how to talk to her.

Perhaps, like Jiang Fengmian, he should find himself a stray to love above his own kin.

and the calm is deep where the quiet waters flow (this was SO FUCKING HARD to decide)

“Does it matter?” she asked him after she had caught her breath. “Does it matter who did it? It was all of them. Every single one of them.” With a brown-stained hand, she roughly rubbed away the tears streaming down her face. She said, “It’s all of you every time one of you does it, and when it happens to one of us, it happens to all of us.”

She said, “This is the only true difference between us all.”

Simmer Down:

He grabbed his too-hot cup of coffee with the fingers of his free hand and let the liquid burn his tongue, bitterer he thought than what he really wanted to drink. Orihara watched him with half-lidded eyes. Like a great bird of prey, wounded and landed and still dangerous.

“Kine once said you were like an animal,” Shiki said into the brim of his cup. It seared his lips, grounding, unsatisfying.

“Did he,” Orihara replied a little shakily.

“He called you vicious. Said that’s why I should be your contact inside Awakusu instead of someone else.”

“How peculiar.”

Shiki let out a thin smile. “He seemed to think I was ruthless enough not to get caught into your sick little games.”

“I don’t play with my food,” Orihara said, like a hum or a song. “If I’m playing then I don’t plan to eat at all.”

Mercy Bid:

For a very long second, he considered looking back. He thought about texting Kadota and telling him to leave him here. He thought about sitting by Izaya’s side until the sun rose and Izaya himself awoke again.

He thought about Celty back home. He thought about Izaya here.

“Yeah,” he replied, the word so heavy on his tongue that he almost sobbed with it. He tugged the door open to the darkness and silence of the hallway. “Sleep well, Izaya.”

All Excuses Aside:

Then the man smiled.

“Well, Izaya,” he said. The cheerfulness in his eyes which had till then made him look almost childish seemed to shift under Izaya’s very eyes. He leaned over the couch once more until his face was right above Izaya’s, and this time Izaya didn’t think anyone could have mistaken his expression for anything close to good-natured. “You’re very, very lucky to be alive.”

For the first time in years, Izaya felt those words to be true.

Withholding Care:

Gintoki was too busy warring with Kagura’s wandering hands to answer him. Eventually, and despite his best efforts to stop her, she managed to land one solid palm in his face with what felt like the strength of three grown men.

“You really are hot,” she said in victory, ignoring the grunt of pain he gave at the blow. “Hot enough to egg on.”

“To cook an egg on,” Shinpachi corrected.

Fires Find a Home:

Yoo Jonghyuk shoves his entire head into the crook of Kim Dokja’s neck and declares, “If I could tie you in place and make sure you never move out of my sight again, I would.”

That would be highly bothersome considering everything Kim Dokja still needs to do, but here and now in the silence of that abandoned building, with Yoo Jonghyuk breathing onto his skin and rubbing off against his hip, he can’t feel too strongly about it.

Surrender:

There is a bereft wife somewhere inside another moonlit room, and Natori is taking her naked husband to his bed.

OK IM STOPPING HERE i cant do Every fic i have it would take so long

[lucky4in]

Magic Interferes in New Orleans

Prompts from Piccadilly's book #3

Words used: ☆matriarch ☆throat ☆impossible ☆vinegar ☆apology ☆slice ☆microwave ☆raspberry ☆choose ☆snore

God! I can't take it. The dread is killing me. I'm losing all the blood in my fingers with how tight I'm squeezing the steering wheel. The honking around me is not helping. I can feel everyone's fear collectively as we sit in agitated traffic. Stress. Fault. Jitteriness. Indifference. Panic, panic, panic.

God, I hate being an empath. I can't even hear my own thoughts. I need to breath! Yeah. Take deep breaths. I'm not far from the U-turn lane. So what if traffic is moving 1 millimeter a minute? The storm can't be faster.

Hooooonk!

Beepbeep!

I have to get out of this situation before I have a sensory overload.

From my front and my rear, I'm surrounded by vehicles. I can't move back, I'll hit someone. I can't move up, because they'll think there's space to move and I'll be more stuck than before. Looking to my right I realize the road across the gate is fairly empty. That last car I saw go that way was 40 something minutes ago.

I gulp loosening my grip from the wheel but still holding it firmly in my palms. Taking a breath I turn the wheel and step on the gas. My car races through the grass and crashes though the metal gates. With a screech, my tires are finally rolling and I'm off. Towards the dark clouds like a fool running blindly into a lions den.

When I finally catch sight of the curling palm trees and the flying debris, my weariness is replaced by anger. We had a plan. A simple schedule. Prepare emergency food, water, and medicine, flashlights and documents, locate nearest shelters, fill up gas tank, clear the yard, and turn off the power. When the evacuation order is set, I would be too far away at the time, so my husband would get the kids from home and we...would...evecuate.

Evacuate.

We would meet at the nearest shelter with our separate cars...

Unfortunately, my...sweet...dearest mother decided to take it upon herself to pick up the kids herself...and NOT evacuate. Instead, she wanted her grand babies to feel safe during the storm and cook them a nice meal...at her house.

I almost had a heart attack when my husband said they weren't there. Instead, a note was attached to the fridge reassuring us that my elementary school kids, including a baby, did not infact disappear off the face of the earth. She wants them to feel less threatened and stressed over this "flood nonsense". Make it seem like a regular thunder storm.

Except it's not a thunder storm! It's a hurricane!

I told my husband not to worry about it, I will get the kids and be ok. The hurricane is suppose to be a bad one, the weather man said. Anything left undemolished by the storm by the end of this would be a miracle. Hopefully it won't be my sanity. I swear, she's impossible.

By the time I get to her house, the streets are flowing with water and clawing up her driveway like waves at a beach. I step out and my shoe kerplunks into the water. I groan, feeling my ears eject hot steam. I stomp onto her porch with a squish, squish, squish and jam the key into the lock.

I kick the door open and slam it shut, my anger seeming to accelerate as soon I step inside. I cringe a bit, noticing my youngest asleep on the couch.

"DON'T SLAM MY DO-" my mother sticks her head out through the kitchen doorway and spots me.

"-Oh, hi baby!"

I stretch a tight smile, coaxing my child back to sleep. "Hello, mother."

"You came just in time. I just need to get a few things done before we eat."

And there she is. Like always. Not worrying about a thing while marinating apple cider vinegar on peices of pork. Probably to slice into the-

Sniff, sniff.

-gumbo. Her calm persona was infuriating. Almost insulting.

"Too bad my son in law couldn't be here. He'd love to stuff his face with the beignets" she continues.

"He's at the shelter. Kinda like we're suppose to be" I say, honey tounged and all "which begs the question..." I lean in, my palms face down on the table. "Why aren't we there right now?" I sneer, bringing my voice down.

"Because there's no need to. You know that" she says simply.

"Maybe in your case, but not mine. You just felt entitled to do things your way. Like you always do. I had everything under control and-and you had me worried."

"You know nothing was going to happen to these kids. I knew nothing was really wrong."

"If you really felt so aloof about this, you should have stayed yourself. You can't just up and take my kids like that. We've talked about this."

She finally looks at me, turning away from her task. "I should be free to see my own grand kids whenever I want to."

"I would have probably excepted that, if we weren't in the middle of a god damn hurricane-"

"Momma! Momma look!"

I was interrupted by my two children excitedly telling me that a pie was on the way. All while showing me their hands, proof of a raspberry massacre. Animated. Passion. Triumph. Pleasant. I ruffle their heads with a quick "good job" and they ran off together. Their happiness almost cures my frustration. It does calm me down a bit though.

"Is is so much to want to keep your family safe" my mother asks.

Aaaaaaand its back.

"Is it so much to just listen to me? To just let me do things my way? I am in no less danger than you are just because I dont have the same... tools that you do."

"It looks like it puts you in a lot of danger if you have to evacuate the city. You could simply come here so momma can protect you."

"That makes me look like a normal person, mom. The streets are already flooding and a ton of people just saw me go the opposite direction. I look stupid and suspicious." I'm taken back to my teen years. Having a similar conversation with my mother. "Not everything can be solved with your protection. I can make my own decisions. But instead you undermine me and tamper with everything around you. Just because I dont have it, doesn't mean I cant keep my family safe or simply be a mother. How about, for once, you let mother nature do her job."

"Your father made this house with his bare hands, rehydrating himself with his sweat. No one is touching this house. Not even Cosmo's or Gaia or whatever." She huffs and turn away. A puff of steam emerges over her head, indicating she opened the pot of Gumbo.

"Well, when your the Matriarch, you can start making the rules around here."

Realizing an apology isn't coming, I groan restricting myself from wrapping my hands around her throat. Its silence between us, as there is after every altercation. Especially when the house is mentioned, cause it's always Papa's house. He passed away before I could even learn to speak his name. Mama always told us about Papa. How she met him, how he put her on her feet and built a house for her (it was told he even built the bricks holding this house up), how his devotion to his family and the love of his life lasted until death did them part.

"What makes you think I'm going to be the next Matriarch?" I ask, slipping in the kitchen chair.

"You will. It's a family tradition that you need to uphold. And you are the only girl conceived by me." She answers, this sounds almost rehearsed.

"Why don't the others take your place?" I ask, for the millionth time.

"It's only rare that a boy has ever been in place of a woman. And once a girl was brought in, he was removed immediately."

"If it's that simple then crown them and get it over with."

"Oh, do you think it's that easy"? She quizzes, slowly turning to me.

"Knowing you, probably not."

"Hyde is much more coordinated than that. If they really didn't think you were worthy, we would have known, but I always knew you were special."

Here she goes again. Hyde,, is supposedly the person that gifts the family with magic, life, and girls. It's the spirirt who thrones and dethrones us. No matter who we are. According to mom, the next Matriarch could be good or bad, Hyde has a plan for them in the end.

Along with Papa's stories, Hyde was always directed towards me because I was the only girl, excluding my half sister. Truthfully there was no way to know if Hyde was actually real. I'm not even sure if my parents have seen it. Mom would tell me tales at night of different women throughout our generation, chosen by Hyde and how I would be like them someday.

Perfect.

"Hyde doesn't give you this gift for no reason" mom reassures "they always have a plan. You can't see everything in a negative light. What if Hyde chooses Clio and you-"

I stop her at the mention of my youngest name.

"I'm not putting that responsibility on my kid" I say sternly, though It probably won't matter what I tell her "Especially if, no offense, she ends up like you. Completely dependent on Hyde's gift. IT didn't give me any when I was born, like the rest of you, and I'd like it to stay that way."

Silence once more.

"Perhaps you're afraid-"

"I'm not afraid-"

"-its okay."

"-Of this imaginary ghost."

"Sure, keep believing that. But when it happens~" she sings.

"When it happens to me, pigs will fly" I sneer, memories of that same sing song tone prodding at me.

She says nothing.

"Just let it go mom, it's just not meant to be. I'm not a child that you can hide under your wings when hail comes. However your gifts came to be, Hyde, the house, whatever, it must've skipped a generation."

She continues to stir. She sputters "but-but the family-"

"-The family doesn't know what's best for me and neither do you. I know I'm the only daughter to the Matriarch. I know I wasn't born with any gifts like my siblings. I know refusing my path makes me an ungrateful child and Hyde will handle me" I say reciting what I also heard throughout my life "But that's not my life. And I'm not defenseless."

She freezes. More silence.

"And, I mean, it's not like having voodoo is easy. It consumes you and it messes a lot of things up. This worlds order and the next."

"That's what the council is for" my mom mutters finally.

"Oh, right. The council. The same family who's just as dependent as you. Do you even remeber a time where you haven't used your gift and actually did things yourself?"

...

...

"Don't you ever think of letting go of this life? Doing things for yourself and not the family? Hyde? Papa's house? I notice how this changes you as you age. If this is the answer to our problems I wouldn't mind the sea taking this house away for a while-"

"Mama! Mama!"

"Wow, look."

I follow my kids voices and they seek for me, a glimmer of wonder and awe in there wide pupils. My 2 boys are pointing to the window in the living room. My sleeping child is now up, standing on her toes to see what her brothers are looking at.

As I begin to walk In the living room, they're rushing back to the kitchen. I take a peek and see a part of the lawn, including my rental car but the road and the neighborhood is gone. A large amount of visible debris is covering up the world around-

No.

No.

That's not debris. That's not wind.

I follow my kids. They've opened the screen door and ventured into the back yard. I race after them and stop in my tracks. The water barrier has followed us to the backyard. My kids are screaming and dancing in the sprinklers as the hurricane is trapping us in its second eye. The oceanic barrier is circling around is, refusing to touch the property. With my kids instructions I look up, the sky is dark above us like it's the dead of night, yet inside the barrier, its murky like a cloudy day.

I can't concentrate. Excitment. Curiosity. Shock. Chills.

I sigh as my daughter wobbles to me and I scoop her in my arms. I can see it now, worst hurricane in 6 years and the Crobitt house still stands. This is similar but not related to the instance when a pair of swings at the run down school across the house seemingly froze in the air a few years ago... CIA is currently investigating...

I gather my children inside, they were starting to go towards the rushing ocean and who knows what'll happen. I shut the door with a defeated sigh and sulk at the table. The beneits sit gracefully with their powder sugar and I worship it by stuffing it in my mouth.

"I told you..."

I look up. My mothers eyes are glowing that familiar bright green and she has that devious smirk on her face. She always gave me that look as a child as if she's trying to tell me something. That, or it's to prove something, which I still dont know. I dont think I ever will.

"...you're father built this house. No one is taking it from me..."

...

...

"Now, elbows off the table."

-------

If you like to write or be creative, perhaps you need inspiration, go check out this book! Its the best!

[reeree1500]

The Return- Part Three

Okay y'all so here it is!! Part 3 of the Return series!!! Ivar and reader relationship developmentttttt💕 Hope you guys like itttt :) Lemme know if you guys wanna be tagged too. And don't kill meeeee pleaseee 😂

Part 1  Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 10

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @camatsuru @cindy-exo @cainismyname @affection-rabbit

Disclaimer: My sucky writing again. Bad grammar and spelling😂 Character death. And bad plot in general.

Your POV

Excitement. Thats all I could say I was feeling at the moment. To finally be back in Kattegat with my family was something I never thought would have happened again. After my father’s grand announcement of my return, the room overflowed with happiness. People were coming up to me, asking me where I had been for the past 6 years and how I had survived. Obviously, I tried to answer everyone’s questions to the best of my ability without giving too much information. For I still didn't know, the true reason as to why I had to leave or who wanted me gone.

The happiness in the hall however did not last very long. Aslaug, the woman who was questioning Bjorn earlier that night. Was actually my father’s wife. “Im sorry? She's your what now?!?!” Aslaug screams of sorrow over my existence could probably be heard all the way in Frankia. My father however, seemed to have very little interest in her reactions at all. He had cast her to the side as if she meant nothing to him. During the course of the next few hours neither my father nor Bjorn left my side. It was as if they thought something would occur to me if I was out of their side for more than a second. “Father, if it is alright with you I would like to go outside for some fresh air.” I tell him, whilst grasping his hand to truly catch his attention. Cupping my face he says “My sweet little girl, you may do anything you please. However, I would prefer that you do not stray too far from here, as I have just gotten you back. And I would not be able to handle losing you again.” With that he gives me a kiss on my forehead and sends me on my way. 

However, I can still feel the overbearing presence of my older brother. “Bjorn, you know Im not gonna run away, if thats what you're afraid of.” I tell him whilst stepping outside. “Im not afraid of you running away. Im afraid of something happening to you (y/n). Plus worrying about you is my job, always has been.” Leaning on one of the wooden beams, I cant help but to stare up at the sky and hold my cross between my fingers. Thinking to myself how different life would have been if I had not left. “ Im only a few steps away shout if anything happens. Okay?” “Okay! And Bjorn... I love you.” At that Bjorn kisses my forehead and walks back inside.

Unbeknownst to me, a certain dark haired man was lurking in the shadows. “Awwww, If I had a heart I would think that was probably the sweetest reunion Ive ever seen.” Turning to the sound of that familiar voice, I see Ivar leaning on his crutch making his way towards me. “I never thought that I would have a sister. And a Christian one at that.” The way that his eyes scan over my body makes me feel a certain way that I cannot quite describe. And the way that his features are outlined by the moonlight really gives a sense of how handsome he is. “Wait, are you implying that...” 

“Well, if all Christians are as slow as you I don't think we’ll have a problem conquering them.” A smirk is displayed on his face, while his eyes show a hint of deviance in them. “Why do you think that Bjorn and Ubbe look so much alike (y/n)?” “Or the fact that we all share similar traits like our eyes?” As Ivar continues to talk down to me as if I were a child, I start to connect the dots. Why it was that Bjorn and Ubbe look alike. The way that they all seem to share the same traits as my father. The four young men that Bjorn introduced me too, are actually my brothers. 

With wide eyes I come to the realization that...“You’re my brother.” “Took you long enough.” At that Ivar seems to crack what looks like a genuine smile. “You know, I always thought that I was the youngest, but now that I'm not...” The genuine smile I had probably imagined was now a devious one. “ Now, baby sister. Why don't you and I go and sit down by those steps down there. And you can tell big brother Ivar, what you've been up to all this time?” Without being able to answer, Ivar grabs my hands and takes me towards the steps. Why do I feel like this night is just getting started...

-----------------------------------------

Ivar POV

Needless to say all of us were in shock to learn that (y/n) was our sister. Especially Hvitserk, who had not only been enchanted by her beauty, but was  already planning how he would take her from Bjorn. I however, knew something was up the minute I saw her in the great hall. She had no scars whatsoever on her body, meaning she wasn't a shield-maiden. And absolutely no callouses on her fingers from when she took the ale, meaning she definitely wasn't a thrall. And Bjorn wouldn't cheat on Torvi, unless he wants his balls cut off. Something intrigued me about her instantly. It was if she had been sent to me by the Gods, her sharp tongue reminded me of mine. The way that she stood up for my mother not even knowing that she had caused Lagertha and Ragnar to break up amazed me. The way she handled herself with grace and dignity was exactly what I wanted. No, what I need for in a wife.

“Ivar, are you okay? You've been staring at me for the past 5 mins without saying a word.” (y/n) places her hand on my knee to draw my attention whilst looking straight into my eyes. “As a matter of fact, Im trying to piece together, how we’re the same age, and we never met before you left.” As she goes to lift her hand from my knee, something instinctively goes over me and I grab her and hold it were it was. The initial shock she and I both had at my actions soon subsided. She let her hand rest under mine. As if we had done this countless times before, our fingers intertwined and they in my eyes fit perfectly. I could see the inner turmoil inside her, on whether these small affectionate moments between us were something that was so wrong, but that felt so right. 

It was not just moments ago that I had found out she was indeed my sister. Blood of my blood. But somehow, something in me told me that we were meant to be. I felt safe and strangely loved by this person in front of me, whom I have never met before. “You know Ivar, we lived on a farm. I was 100% certain that I would be a farm girl for the rest of my life. I was content with knowing that I would spend my life tending to the animals and my family. But, this is just too much.” Looking down at where our once intertwined hands were. I see that she is now staring at the ground playing with the ends of her long braided hair. “Why? Because you feel as if you're not good enough? Look at me for Odin’s sake! Im a cripple!” At that moment our eyes connected and I saw a reflection of myself in her. A scared child who was deprived of a normal childhood. Seeking for acceptance and love from anyone. 

“(Y/n), come inside father wishes to speak to you.” Bjorn says coming out from the great hall ale in hand. Clearly drunk as well. “Sure thing, I’ll be there in a second.” As she goes to stand up (y/n) turns to me and kisses me on the cheek. “Thank you for the pep talk, big brother.” 

I knew that I could not be the only one feeling this way. She had to have been feeling the same about me. And I will go to the ends of the world and face the God’s themselves if they think that for a second I will not make her mine. 

Your POV

What had I just done! I kissed him whether it be on the cheek or not. I kissed Ivar. My brother. Oh lord, forgive me for these sinful thoughts are consuming me. The intense feeling I got from us holding hands and from when he stared into my eyes. I had felt at home. Felt safe, felt something that I should only be feeling for the man I should marry. Not my brother! As I enter the great hall, all eyes turn on me. Remembering what I had just talked to Ivar about, I keep my head up. I shouldn't be ashamed, or feel as if I'm less than I am.

As I make my way to my father through the crowd once he spots me his eyes light up immediately. Sitting on his thrown he extends his hand and makes me sit on the throne beside his. “My beautiful daughter are you feeling alright now?” He says to me a little louder as if to make sure that people know not to mess with me. “Y..yes father Im feeling much better.” I murmur to him. At that moment my eyes trail off as if to find something that would take me out of this position right now. I have never been one to be the centre of attention. And as much as I wanna believe in myself that I can be a good princess to my people, at the moment that is not going to happen. As I scan the room my eyes land on Hvitserk. He’s eating a piece of chicken las if it were his last meal ever. I cannot help, but to laugh at him and that when he notices. He flashes a smile that could certainly melt any lady’s heart.  Without realizing I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and bit my lip. Biting my lip when Im nervous is something Ive always done.

However, what did not realize was Ivar eyeing me from behind him. At that I stop and stare at the ground. As the hours go by, finally the last person leaves the great hall. Leaving only my father and brothers with me. “Sooooo, where is (y/n) supposed to sleep, father?” Asks Ubbe. Coming from behind me Hvitserk puts his arm around my shoulders bringing me closer to his body. “She can sleep with me! I don't mind sharing my bed with her.” At this Ivar scoffs. “Of course you wouldn't, you wouldn’t mind sharing your bed with anything that has a pulse.” I tilt my head trying to figure out whatever he means by that. And all that can be heard is the snickering of my father. 

“I was thinking that perhaps I could sleep with Bjorn. You know since we used to share a room when we were little...” I say wishing that what I feel most comfortable with could be taken into account. “I don't know about that one baby sis, you'd have to ask Torvi. She defiantly doesn't like sharing thats for sure.” as Ivar says this he smirks at me while taking bite out of his apple. “Who’s Torvi?” “Wait! Bjorn didn't tell you? He's married.” 

At that moment a scream was heard throughout the town.

“Oh My God, Mira!!!!” at that moment I shot out of Hvitserk’s arms and ran as fast as I could. How could I have been so stupid that I left my friend by herself in an unknown place. Seeing the people gathered around Bjorn's cabin only made my heart more nervous. Pushing my way past the crowd I make it up the steps in one piece. But what I saw would forever haunt me. There on the floor lied my once best friend and most trusted subject Mira. And on her back was carved the death rune. All I remember is hitting the floor and watching a pair of worried and frantic electric blue eyes.

[animatevibration-blog]

Mad Titan, Or Last Man

Please note that this is an incomplete assessment of motivations simply because comic book characters will never have an end to their story. I am also not informed on Thanos’ current exploits in the comics since I have not read Marvel, or any comics for a number of years. The focus will be on an older iteration of Thanos and his fascination with death that I believe derived from him growing up in a utopia of immortals essentially. Also, this is not an explanation of the Hollywood version of Thanos since his motivations make no sense and is clearly just political propaganda from writers that don’t know anything about population trends. This is not a super in-depth analysis either, I’ve merely looked at his motivations through the lens of the Nietzschean last man, as well as the underground man from Dostoevsky's works.

I had difficulty understanding it at first, mostly because I personalized concepts too much that I shouldn’t have, namely Lady Death. Which in turn, made Thanos’ motivations look like an outburst of an angsty teenage boy. You can’t fully personalize a concept in a story otherwise you miss the point, Lady Death is still death itself, the only real reason it was given form is because that’s seems to be the easiest way to relate to values expressed in stories; it makes it easier to embody them through secondary personalization, which is a term coined by the psychologist Eric Neumann. Secondary personalization is an act from which the more something is understood, the more it is refined in the consciousness until it’s anthropomorphised completely, creating almost a god image within the individual. It’s essentially the same as the image of Helen of Troy discovered by Faust when he travels to the realm of the mothers, she was the spirit of unbridled creative generation and freedom that he longed for. Lady Death is the anthropomorphised value of what Thanos desires most, and he expresses it as female because he is male, because it’s that which he lacks, the other part of his reality. That is partly a Jungian notion from which the male takes an inward journey to discover the Anima within, or his inner feminine that is tied to his highest value, making the attaining of that value an almost sexual act of union between being and image, something like that.

“But wait” you may say, “then why is Death a woman to all within the Marvel universe?” Good question, that is because the concept of death has always been a feminine one throughout history; it is the consumptive element of nature that consumes the life that came before so that successive generations may come into being. The easiest picture to express this in is the Ouroboros, the serpent that eats its tail. It is the sphere that contains existence from which death, or consumption is the precursor to new life. Other faces of death are the Babylonian Tiamat, the Malekusian Le-Hev-Hev which translates to “she who draws us in with a smile so she may consume us.” There is also Nut from Egyptian myth, the mother sky who embraces all in death, which you can see her image placed on sarcophagi, and Ta-Urt who is the bestial guardian of the underworld. Death is Feminine because it is part of nature, or the great mother earth, so it’s not surprising that we will portray it as a woman... Most of the time.

For this assessment though, I want to focus on Lady Death as a very singular expression of his “highest art” so to speak, which arised from the stagnancy of Utopianism. So, let’s begin.

What would a man(or eternal) strive for when perfection was already attained? I really needed to think about that for a second because when you think about utopia, the interesting bits are always the struggle to achieve it. That’s where the meat is in such a value system, that’s where all the action is, and that’s when I had an idea. So, what would a man(eternal) strive for when perfection was already attained? Perhaps he would strive for struggle itself. Perhaps when given eternity, what then would be more desirable than the finite? What could you desire more after you are given the universe through society, than to have it all taken away? It sounds crazy doesn’t it, who would ever destroy perfection merely to struggle? Well, a human would... Even in the face of eternal happiness and comfort, simply to achieve one semblance (if even for a moment) of the meaning that comes only from the finite and imperfect, a person would dash it all away.

That is the purpose of Thanos, he craves the one thing that was taken from him by his parents, and the society that believed it knew better, namely death. Honestly, what meaning could you ever possibly find in a world where people have already conquered the most meaningful aspect of it? Things have to die, things have to wear down, they need to decay because the universe isn’t a structured space of rules and laws. It bends, it curves, it’s constantly changing, it’s a flow of perpetual becoming. The speed of light itself is constantly changing, and that is the speed of causality itself, which is the frame from which events can even happen in reality. Laws, structures, immortality are all societal concepts born from consciousness, more precisely the consciousness of the left hemisphere; especially the concept of immortality. Things are always changing, we just cant perceive most of it, and you, are not really you. Everything you are now is the current complexity of a a cosmic lineage that dates back to the very beginning of existence. All the material that makes up your being came from the death of something before you. Whether it be the nutrients you ingest from animals and plants, or the elements of you refined in the cores of long dead stars. You are a process, not an end, and to extricate yourself from that process is to produce a fate far worse than death could ever be, an immortal Utopia.

I had to ask myself, is that really the goal of life, just to transcend it? If like the eternals that happens, what other outcome could you have but a utopia of eternal happiness and complacency? Why would you even want that when what is taken is so much? What other options could you ever have than sacrificing everything that made you human; to place it all at the alter of godhood, so that you could simply keep existing and going through the motions like a machine. There’s a reason why vampires are portrayed as impulsive nihilists most of the time, because what the hell else can you do with eternity once you have it. Of course there is a universe full of possibility within the universe, but it will never be achieved by the eternals because they are no longer part of that process and the only kind progress they can achieve is scientific analytical processes which is very indicative of western culture now, because that’s all they value. Which in turn will probably only lead to them becoming like Celestials, ethereal nothings that don’t exist in reality, that don’t understand the underlying complexity and importance of emotion, and merely act like computers.

That entire society and Thanos himself is a microcosm, most likely of the projected anxiety of a post-industrialized society that puts far too much (to an almost pathological degree) value in a singular system of linear analytical cognitive progress. My god ladies and gentlemen, if eternity was sitting in a lab continually making it easier for people to live for the eternity they have anyway, where all that’s left are mere intellectual and habitual procreative pursuits, I would also think death and destruction would be a far more preferable option, it could even become an ideal. Jesus, just try it for a hundred years and get back to me on how you feel about it. I don’t blame Thanos for pining after it, lusting after it, making it his muse, his companion, the Galatea to his Pygmalion, his reason for being. It’s meaning that matters, not more life, not happiness, not perfection, It’s the meaning in the struggle for more life, it’s the meaning you derive from struggling for happiness, it’s the meaning in life that you derive from struggling for perfection that gives depth to existence. It’s not the result, it’s the process. Death matters because it makes everything beautiful, everything meaningful, everything is something you will never see again, something that will never be again. Struggle matters because it makes you more than what you were, it allows you to change. Now let me talk about struggle more.

To struggle is to be human, to suffer is to truly live. Humans are the only beings that can say life is suffering and have a smile on their face. And humans are the only beings in the known universe that will willfully suffer in full understanding of it. Each person has a vast ocean of dormant potential in them just waiting to be realized. I don’t say that in a metaphorical way, though that’s the best way to describe it. You have a plethora of dormant genes in you that wait for the right environmental factors to be activated and embodied as new modes of being, because humans are action oriented, not cognitive oriented. It’s the notion of wishing upon the stars, each one represents a potentiality of what you could be, and you have a choice, you can pick a star and struggle for it. But if you don’t have to struggle anymore, if you have forever and everything provided for you, you won’t do it, you won’t experience it, because you don’t have to. I say this because Thanos is human, strikingly human, perhaps even the greatest of what humanity could be, essentially he is the underground man in a world of last men.

“I tell you: one must still have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star. Alas! There comes a time when man will no longer give birth to a star. Alas! There comes a time of the most despicable man, who can no longer despise himself. Behold! I show you the last man, ‘What is love? What is longing? What is a star?’ So asks the last man and he blinks. The earth has become small, and on it hops the last man who makes everything small.”

“His species is ineradicable like that of a flea; the last man lives the longest. ‘We have invented happiness’ says the last man, and blink. They have left the regions where it was hard to live for one needs warmth. Becoming sick and being suspicious are sinful to them: One proceeds carefully. He is a fool who still stumbles over stones or human beings!”-Thus Spoke Zarathustra p.13

Of course, it would be very rational to want such an existence, and everyone on his world is very rational, but rational isn’t reasonable, and reasonable isn’t meaningful. People are contradictions unto themselves. They almost never want what they need, or need what they want, or even want what they want. The easy paradisaical life is a beautiful dream full of splendor and joy... Only so long as it stays a dream. If man were to make his dream a reality I believe, well, I know that the moment after he would spit on the very ground he toiled so arduously to build and content himself with its absolute destruction,  just so something interesting could happen in his utopia. That is the folly of it, and that’s what I believe Thanos saw, even if he didn’t understand it himself. That is essentially Dostoevsky's notion of utopia and the values of enlightenment which is basically the society the eternals had made. 

“There are continually turning up in life moral and rational persons, sages and lovers of humanity to make it their object to live all their lives as morally and rationally as possible, to be, so to speak, a light to their neighbors simply in order to show them that it is possible to live morally and rationally in this world. And yet we all know that sooner or later those people have been false to themselves, playing some queer trick, often a most unseemly one. Now I ask you? What can be expected of man since he is being endowed with such strange qualities? Shower upon him every earthly blessing, drown him in a sea of happiness, so that nothing but bubbles of bliss can be seen on the surface; give him economic prosperity, such that he should have nothing else to do but sleep, eat cakes and busy himself with the continuation of his species, and then out of sheer ingratitude, sheer spite, man will play you some nasty trick. He would even risk his cakes and would deliberately desire the most fatal rubbish, the most uneconomical absurdity, simply to introduce into all of this positive good sense his fatal fantastic element. It is just his fantastic dreams, his vulgar folly that he will desire to retain, simply in order to prove to himself(as though it were so necessary) that men are still men and not keys of a piano, which the laws of nature threaten to control so completely that one will be able to desire nothing but by the calendar. And that is not all: even if man were nothing but a piano key, even if this were proved to him by natural science and mathematics, even then he would not become reasonable, but would purposely do something perverse out of simple ingratitude, simply to gain his point. And if he does not find means he will contrive destruction and chaos, will contrive suffering of all sorts, only to gain his point! He will launch a curse upon the world, and as only man can curse (it is his privilege, the primary distinction between him and other animals), may be by this curse alone he will attain his object- that is, convince himself he is a man and not a piano key! If you say that all this, too, can be calculated and tabulated chaos darkness and curses, so that the mere possibility of calculating it all beforehand would stop it all, and reason would reassert itself, then man would purposely go mad in order to be rid of reason and gain his point!” -Notes From Underground p.230-231

The point I’m expressing is that people are inherently chaotic, and that they love it too, it’s the source of our greatest freedom, the dancing star. We would also destroy all that was good for us merely to keep it. That chaos is lethal to utopianism and eternity. Thanos killed his people and worshiped death because perfection had a flaw, it was meaningless. They sacrificed everything for it, and in turn missed the sole notion powerful enough even to propel one to remake the whole universe and succeed... death. But, that’s just some guys opinion. 

[irradiatedsnakes]

hey hello here’s the car boys unifying theory, i made a fun corkboard with the thread everywhere just like them conspiracy theorists in the movies

spoilers for the finale of car boys & the stolen century arc of the adventure zone follow

the crutch of this theory rests on the the two endings being separate timelines: the boystos/separation timeline (the bad ending) [the ending shown before the credits, when griffin and nick are separated and set adrift in endless emptiness] and the candle in the wind timeline (the true ending) [the after-credits ending, griffin and nick stuck in the car together, perpetually fleeing from the blob through the time ring] {there is no good end}

the separation timeline / bad end

most of what happens in this timeline to the boys is based off this video by youtube user brockrin- which the boys have tweeted about so by my standards its canon plflfnfft

to sum it up- alone for an eternity in endless Nothingness, the boys become the bustos-  nick 1.0 and griffin 2.0- and attempt to go back and stop themselves in the past from fucking everything up, but fail

this timeline (im sorry for homestuck terminology but,) is a stable time loop, nothing ever changes- its them going around and around again trying and failing to stop themselves. its bad

but its important to note that griffin and nick were not the only ones in the time ring when they got separated- which brings me to Ball

Ball has qualities of both the ovo and the blob, as it has blob-like physics (even leading to the it hates water! revelation) and its roundness and fondness of rolling just like ovo

Ball becomes separated from itself. the white sections become the ovo, and the black sections the blob

the candle in the wind timeline / true end

now things get a little buckwild

the basic premise of this timeline is that nick and griffin stay in the waterproof pessima lx for , basically eternity, travelling through the time ring in an endless chase with the blob

the reason that they don’t break down like in the bad end is pretty much that being stuck in a perpetual expanse of time and space with a friend is infinitely better than being stuck there alone

this is where coolgames inc starts! essentially a way to pass time when youve quite literally got nothing but time. (and as nick said, there’s wifi in the void)

this is where the guest-o-matic in the cgi animations comes in! and, in addition, there is a “canon” connection with cb in the cook for cube cgi animation- perhaps the two timelines converging for just a second ? 

uncle buck from uncle buck

in the time ring we see countless galaxies pass by as they travel downwards- they travel through endless amounts of realities and planes as the blob pursues them

taking a moment here to explain something else integral to this- in car boys, nick has the power of creation, the ability to spawn and create objects in the game. griffin, conversely, has the power of manipulation, he’s much of the driving force behind important decisions and actions taken in the show. this becomes important

this is when touch the skyrim takes place- in a number of the universes they pass through down and down into the time ring, griffin takes advantage of these powers of manipulation to modify the word around them because like why not, its fun

what’s wrong with this dream, nick

as the boys + the blob pass through universe after universe in the time ring, the bob catalyzes the event in the original universe of Jon (taz) that originally creates the hunger- the blob merges with the inhabitants of that universe and the hunger is born  (note: this may be edited in the coming weeks as we learn more abt the hunger and its origin)

and the boys realize this- that the universes that theyre passing through are being consumed behind them- and they begin looking for a solution, which materializes in the form of the original taz universe, the homeworld of thb and ipre and all that. 

it’s also at this point that the light of creation really like, becomes the light of creation its- its nick? its nick. nick is the light of creation. this fact being proposed is what prompted me to make this theory in the first place

griffin shapes the world of taz and becomes the dm/narrator (note especially in recent episodes during the into to taz the narrator uses ‘we’ and ‘us’- as if he is part of this world and is involved in the story) and the two boys follow the ipre through the planes of existence in order to help them find a way to defeat the hunger/blob and save all of reality from the monster that they created

and i think its a canon thing that the light of creation is split into the relics? that happens. thats pretty sad i think

..until we get to the present- the hunger descending upon what will likely be the multiverse’s final stand against the hunger in the main taz universe (the one with two moons and stuff). cant wait for the taz finale bros

other things & honorable mentions

thanks to everyone in the mcelstuck & car boys discord for help with this whole thing! 

@rikki-tikki-taako​‘s explanation of how the true timeline boys are saved from the bad timeline: “what i'm getting at is why didn't true timeline nick and griffin get separated and warped the true saviors of true timeline nick and griffin emoji car and miku car embodiments of crucial aspects of nick and griffins beings, their integrity largely untampered with(i don't believe either of them ever god trashed), and bow i think of it relatively unscathed compared to the horrors introduced to everything else because there were always more important matters to draw nick and griffin away, they came just when nick and griffin didn't have time to make the same mistakes as all the other timelines so in the midst of god trashing, their pillars distorting, they combined with their respective aspects and regained their conceptual integrity, in a way like pause error respawning frequently merged objects in beamng, the pause indicated by their seeming lack of awareness of having to merge with them”

@cinnamon-marthmallows​ originally came up with “nick is the light of creation”, the fact that spawned this entire theory

@goodraandyy​‘s infograph on the split timelines and commentary on the ball/blob/hunger that you should check out & reblog here “ball turned into the blob which followed nick and griffin towards the taz universe - however, it is not john himself, it was simply drawn to his misery and suffering and mistook him for nick and griffin. john then harboured the power of the blob to create the hunger storm, which took over the universe“

@horticulturelesbian​ created the car boys discord thank u so much kar

@cheshiure​ compiled the cb unifying theory google doc

@coneboyofficial made this beautiful image

@magehand​ for this image: 

@babylonian @griffins-tumbo

tl;dr

the two endings of car boys are separate timelines

griffin and nick in the bad/pre-credits timeline became the bustos, Ball became the ovo & the blob

griffin and nick in the true/post-credits timeline continued travelling through the time ring, coming up with coolgames inc and touch the skyrim

the hunger is born from the blob interacting with jon’s whole deal

taz happens, griffin becomes the dm, nick becomes the light of creation, the boys follow the ipre gang through the universes to try and find a way to finally defeat it

thanks everybody 

[okreadyscenarios]

Astro Ships: o(^^o)

ive never done a ship desc. before ahhh here goes: my fave animal is either a horse or a wolf, i Definitely believe in aliens (man u gotta be so humanity-centric not too lbr here), ive taken dance, drama and singing classes for Years, i bloody Adore chocolate ice cream, i desperately want to be a screenwriter or novelist (im gonna study english and film at uni)

im quite a talented writer i guess?? mostly at writing english essays tho,,, idk how entertaining that is ;; my aesthetic is constantly changin but man do i love autumn aesthetic atm,, like cuddlin in front of the fire with autumn rains outside,, yess. im a person who cant choose between cats and dogs lmao i feel cruel choosing tbh (bc i have one of each probably), my life has been consumed by kpop recently i have no idea abt whats in the western charts atm i need help

(did i send that 2nd ask on anon?? i feel like i didnt omg,, pls dont reveal my url if so aH) anyway, i asked my friend and she said she would describe me as a "lowkey highkey meme, absolute soft sinnamon role" and a "hype man, basically jackson wangs spirit twin" :DD i hope this is enough for u to pick a ship haha maybe i sent too much,, oh welll, thank u!! and congrats on 500 followers!!

((You did send the second ask on anon, and you didn’t send too much at all, don’t worry, love~ <3 Thank you so much!! ^u^))

I ship you with Moonbin! <3

Explanation + Fluff:

- okay let’s break this down -

you’re both soft sinnamon roles <3

you both believe in aliens (probably)

can’t choose between cats and dogs?

that’s okay bc Bin is both! :D

lolol i’m sry i had to make that joke;;

you both rock the autumn aesthetic~

- case closed the defense rests your honor -

you two are just so supportive of each other <3

like he is so impressed by your writing skills

you amaze him

he does everything he can to support you and cheer you on~

like proofreading your work

giving you feedback

and being an excellent audience

also when you’re working on a project and haven’t emerged for like 8 hours

he’ll bring you chocolate ice cream or smth

and kiss the top of your head

and just remind you how awesome you are <3

((and since Binnie doesn’t like chocolate you never have to worry about him stealing yours lol))

he got himself vanilla caramel swirl, dw

and you’re his hype man in return <3

like if he’s having a rough day at practice

all he’s gotta do is call you

and he knows he’ll be recharged and ready to go by the end of the call

you help motivate him to work harder

like you two inspire and motivate each other so much I just <333

it’s an awesome thing you’ve got going ngl

he rly admires your ambition~ <3

he also helps keep you updated on the western music charts

bc he loves listening to english music

so you guys share faves and jam together~

he LOVES snuggling by the fireplace with you when it’s cold

or when it’s rainy outside

tbh autumn is his favorite time of year

bc it’s snuggle season <3

like I can see him buying matching fuzzy socks for you two

((his have little horses on them, yours have little wolves))

and matching cocoa/tea mugs

and just cuddling by the fire

sharing a blanket

his arm wrapped around you

and he’s wearing that beanie/glasses combo

((you know the one I mean <333))

you rest your head on his shoulder

and he links his fingers with yours

and just gently kisses your forehead

and whispers how much you mean to him

and how much he adores you~ <3

wahhhh my heart i’m sry

i’m a sucker for autumn snuggles;;;

A N Y W A Y

he obvs loves dancing and singing w/ you~~

and one day he asks you for help with his acting

like he says he’s always looking to improve

and that you’re RLY good at acting

so would you pls teach him??

and you agree

so you ask him what type of skill he wants to rehearse

and ofc he says stage kissing the sly devil;;

you, being professional, decide to go along with it

giving him pointers and whatnot

he’s a little awkward/shy about it...

until it comes time to actually DO the kiss

then he DIPS YOU <3

and full-on legit KISSES YOU <33

you can’t help but go along with it~

you feel him smiling into your mouth

and you realize then that one of two things has happened

either this boy lied about his acting skills bc THIS KISS~~

OR he was using this whole exercise as an excuse to kiss you;;

((hint: it’s not the first one~))

ugh you two are just so cute my heart can’t handle~ <3

he often sends you cute texts throughout the day~

just little things like “love you baby~” “you’re doing great!” “can’t wait to see you later <3″

you’re kind of always on his mind;;

you two believe in each other so hard tho

like you’ve always got each other’s backs <3

you’re just like the snuggliest cutest power couple ever don’t fight with me on this <333

This Astro Ship has the Nessa Seal of Approval ~  ☆

Ships open 1/29/17-2/4/17

[adventurouskiwi]

Norway

Every time I talk to someone about my time in Norway I get emotional. It's such an indescribable feeling to be on this current high. I have so much gratitude. I can't write about this without being filled with so many overwhelming emotions. This year has been a roller coaster but I wouldn't trade any moment for anything. I have gone from complete isolation and a dream job in the hills of Vinstra only surrounded by animals, to my first van trip which ended up being a lot tougher than I imagined. On new years I watched the fireworks from a rooftop in Oslo with a bunch of deep strangers. I spent some hard weeks looking for a job in Oslo and battling through one of my lowest mental points. Then I traveled North to start an awesome new job and met more great people and animals. I got to show my parents this country with all the pride a person can feel and now I face some very hard goodbyes which just cement how much of my heart this country has. I feel so damn lucky right now, I have just had the craziest year and am ending on an incredible high. I'm unsure how things got this good for me, it all feels very dreamlike. Extremely sad to be leaving this beautiful place but my heart is as full as can be. I am sitting here writing this at 11:30 pm with the most beautiful pink mountains out my window and a sky that never goes dark. I just can't believe this is my life; this has been my life, this is what I made it. This one might be a bit of a read but I want to get everything on the page so I never forget it. So I remember in hard times to come, how bloody special life is.

Norway. The place of grass roofed wooden houses, of picturesque fjords and vast valleys. Where people are quiet but friendly and hard to meet. The place of overpriced chocolate but pancakes for dinner. Where getting drunk takes on a new meaning and everyone stays living where they were born. The place where Winter is as real as it gets with snow stories thick. Where you learn that anything below negative 10 degrees is just fucking cold and frozen hay bales become your worst nightmare. Where the sun controls how you feel, keeping you awake in the summer and something you yearn for in the winter. It's untouched beauty, small cities and summer cabins in the middle of nowhere. Where everyone has a good quality of life and don't quite realize how lucky they are. Where farms have 20 cows, each with a name and farm dogs that sleep on your bed. The place you need winter tires to drive on roads encased by 3 meter tall snow walls. Where reindeer are feral and farm animals roam free in the summer. Land that comes with surprises at every turn and a hike into the mountains is as accessible as walking out your front door. A country you feel safe enough in to leave your car running while you do your grocery shop and where you don't think twice about spending the night alone in the mountains. There are so many amazing qualities of this country and I am so glad I have been immersed in it for the last 12 months. It would be fucking hard to find a place to beat this.

In the summer I would drive the tractor to the very end of a gravel road in the middle of the mountains where my little log cabin with a fire heated spa on the deck awaited. Surrounded by only mountains and animals and experiencing the most happiness I've ever known. Being able to step outside and venture into the mountains almost daily made me think I had found one of the most perfect spots in the world. My dogs would come everywhere with me, whether it was to the grocery store or on a 3 hour road trip to one of our many hikes. Road trips that always filled me with awe as the most breathtaking scenes were found literally around every bend. Then painting murals in the animal shed as I consumed far too many energy drinks and wondering how the fuck I was being paid to do something I loved so much.  When winter came so did darkness but with more beauty then I can describe. A van trip that pushed me more than ever before, one that brought new lessons as I climbed new peaks. The emotions of witnessing the aurora which is by far the most magical thing I've ever witnessed. Countless nights staying awake as my fingers went numb, waiting to see if the sky would come alive. Moving North to old cute stables where I would greet 20 horses in the morning and put them out in the snow. Where you could chuck some snow shoes on and walk into the mountains to find a lake, ready to drill a hole in and go ice fishing. Where bonfires with burnt sausages became a common activity and at night I'd walk outside to watch a dancing sky as my fingers went numb. Meeting travelers from around the world to trade stories with and if they were brave enough, to get in the arctic waters with. Riding beautiful warmbloods in the snow and chatting to friendly horse owners as we watched the most picturesque sunsets. Going running beside the water in such cold temps that my body would be numb, giving me the ability to run further than I'd expect. Waking up to scenes that some people don't even know exist, unsure of how I'd become this lucky.

My little mate Tussi, she deserves her own paragraph. Fuck, she deserves her own book. That dog has been an overwhelmingly precious part of Norway. I can't begin to think of what this year would have looked like without her. She has been there in my hardest times and she has joined me for almost every peak, usually just the two of us, stunned every time by what our eyes were seeing. We became inseparable from the beginning and there was no where I would go without her. I didn't know a dog could become so much of me but she has really been more than I can explain. I hope that I remember every quirky thing about her (and her little tongue). How much she made me laugh, how she stuck by my side wherever we went. She came fishing with me, hiking, camping, skiing and gave me cold night van snuggles when my mood was low. That dog touches every one she meets. Always so excited to get in my car and was so gentle when meeting new people but explosive when she knew you. The biggest attention seeker ever but full of an unmatched amount of love. So many of my moments were shared with her and made better by her being there. I got so incredibly lucky to find myself on a farm with such a precious dog that very quickly became the best shadow. I'm so grateful I will get to spend my last few days with her and although leaving her is fucking hard, she is in a home full of so much love and a place I know will always be my home too. I only wish she knew what she has done and meant for me over the last year.

When I hopped on that plane 1 year ago I had little expectations and just a big yearning for adventure. Well that was the best decision I could have made because fuck it's been a good ride. I have experienced 4 crazy seasons, been left speechless by the northern lights, unable to sleep by the midnight sun, ridden in snow, skied and camped on beautiful mountains, surfed in the arctic waters, fallen in love with every animal I've met, gone on so many road trips, painted numerous murals and just lived. This is it, this is life and it's fucking incredible. I feel like this year has it's own little place in my heart. I cant believe the amount of pinch me moments I have experienced. To wake up almost every day with an unbelievable view no matter where I am. To feel so happy in these vast mountains but to learn my limit of time alone. I've pushed myself in new ways and now have a whole new relationship with my brain. I mean, I'm a couple of glasses of wine deep and reminiscing the shit out of the last 12 months right now but I couldn't be happier or thinking more positively. To leave a place when I'm at my highest point just leaves me so grateful to be alive, so grateful to be able to do the things that I've done, to have had all these new experiences. I can't wait to go home, to see all my favourite people and to return the best version of me yet. I can't wait to create fresh dreams and to continue growing. Last time I travelled I felt like I grew but this is something completely different, now I feel like I know my place in the world, like I know who I am and I belong here. I'm fucking ready to spread every ounce of positivity I have and to see just how much more I can achieve. I have a good sense in how I want to live my life and the level of experiences I can have. Norway has opened new doors of possibilities in my brain. I want to remember this, I want to get this down in words as best I can, I want to remind myself in the future that life is what you make it and these euphoric moments exist. I want to continue being fearless when chasing any crazy dream my brain can imagine, because fuck living any other way. I want to remember it all, to pack it into a snow globe and be able to return to this exact feeling every time I shake it. Norway, the land of so much more than any words I could write.

[climatenow-blog]

5 things you can do to reduce your carbon footprint (but not the usual shizz (because i cant curse))

Well, hello there.

Should this be my tagline?

Today I’ll be discussing about the simplest ways you can do to reduce your carbon footprint. yea.. I’m that basic. But i’m trying to list like some of the uncommon things because i don’t want you to get bored by reading the exact same things that you’ve been watching on youtube for the past 10 hours (probably)

now i’m not going to lie and say that i’ve done all of these things, but i’m still a work in progress

number 1 - use what you already have

Most people (myself included) does this and doesn’t even realized it.

I’m not saying that this is wrong or that i don’t do this, but this really is something.

Starting out, we think that those aesthetic zero-waste equipment is a must in order for us to life a more sustainable life-style. When in reality, we already have must of the stuff, just in a less aesthetic form.

let’s go through some of the stuff people usually bought during the first days:

those aesthetic stainless steel water bottles - nope, not even gonna lie that i wasn’t tempted to buy those stainless steel bottle that looks so cute on instagram.(a bit background tho, cute water bottle has been my weak spot for a long time, so i was tempted to buy it more to add it to my water bottle collection than to live more sustainable) but you probably already have a water bottle somewhere in your house, the one you used to use going to school, or the one you used when you’re working out. I guarantee it you already have it somewhere in your house.

shopping bag - don’t tell me that you don’t have any regular canvass bag that you use just to go out. because i have more than one of those way before i decided to life more sustainably.

eating utencil - my cousin actually bought this for me... like full set eating utencil made from some sort of semi-plastic. I started using it, before realizing that it was no different than my regular silverware. the only difference is the zero waste vibe it’s giving. (tho funny story, my other cousin, her sister went home the other day and said to her ‘im going to live a go green life’ and showed her the pack, yes pack of plastic spoons that she bought on ikea. we laughed about it)

there are still a lot more items on that list, but i think you get it. i totally get it if you still want to buy it, it could totally motivates us to keep on with that lifestyle. Like personally i feel more motivated to do something when i’ve made some sacrifices, so if buying those things is what’s best for you, you do you!

the reason i say this is because, those aesthetic zero-waste equipment that you’re buying needs energy to be made also. so it kinda suck if us trying to cut our carbon print result in us putting out even more co2 into our atmosphere than necessary.

number 2 - try using less air conditioning (i seriously dont know what to call it)

unless you’re in a place with pretty extreme weather i think u’ll survive not being in a room with air conditioner at all times. Personally, i live in a tropical region where it’s practically summer all year long. but i’ve managed to turned on my air conditioner way less than i used to. Like waaaaaaaay less. like before i my air conditioner usually only gets a break during my school hour. now (im on my 16 weeks holiday b the w) i usually only turn on my air conditioner at night a few hours before i went to bed, or around 12 if i’m still up. ad i turned it off the first thing in the morning. (tho i admit there were very hot days where i turned it on during the day for like an hour) but hey! it helps with the bill also, a big part of me does this for my parents.

number 3 - try to take shorter shower

did you know that 20% of indoor water usage is for shower? And did you know that 10 minutes of shower can use up to 50 gallons of water? Not to mention that energy it would take to filter the water, distribute, and heat it.

By shortening your shower time by only 2 minutes, you can save up to 10 gallons of water per shower. Multiply it by 2 if you shower twice a day and you’ve saved 20 gallons of water in a day without doing anything. Multiply it by 30, you’ve saved up to 600 gallons of water. Multiply it by 12, you’ve saved up to 7200 gallons of water a year, practically by doing nothing. And keeping about 288 kg of carbon dioxide from entering the atmosphere. I know it’s not much, but if 100 people cut their shower time by 2 minutes, it’ll add up.

number 4 - plant

plant something. For 12 years, plants has bought us extra time to deal with climate change. Plant slowed the build up of co2 in our atmosphere, even as human increases their carbon emission. In these has absorbed 45% of the carbon emission that humans emitted each year. And really... they give a lot of other benefits for us.

number 5 - have a vegan day

tho for the most of our life we’ve been led to believe that transportation is the biggest cause of climate change, it isn’t.

By going vegan for a year, you can save up to 3432 trees.

But, that’s too far for us, newbies isn’t it? (i tried being vegetarian and hair fall happened, also i gave in to temptation.) but, how about a day? set a day of the week where you’ll be vegan for the day. if you can save 3432 trees in a year, divide it by 365, you’ll save approximately 9 trees for every day you don’t eat/use any animal product. multiply it by 52, you’ll save 488 trees. A tree can absorbed up to 21 kg of co dioxide each year. Multiply it by 488, you’re taking up to 10248 kg of carbon dioxide every year just by going vegan once a week.

How? You wonder? Animal agriculture use up a lot of land, mostly land that used to be forest but was cut down to grow our meat stock. There are also a lot of forest cut down to make space to plant food to be consumed by those animals. Did you know that more than half the US grain is being fed to livestock rather than directly to humans? And more than 40 percent of the world’s grain is being fed to the livestock?

in conclusion, i’ve been procrastinating on continuing this post since 3 days ago when i first started it and now i finally finish it and im happier as ever

im not by any means a pro at these kinds of stuff, but i really want to help you guys help our planet!