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vinsmokewife · 3 months ago

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misery / chapter one

Sequel to Who Is This Person Nine months after the catfishing incident and Sanji still can't catch a break. After a major arguement with Zoro on the night of his birthday, Zoro breaks it off entirely claiming to have found someone new. Sanji moves on and meets Charlotte Pudding, a popular food infulencer, whom he develops a superficial but pleasant relationship with. However, news gets around that Zoro goes missing and Sanji can't help but dig into what happened. read on ao3

authors note: Well shit. After my much-needed hiatus, I am back with a sequel to Who Is This Person? Sorry for the delay in this story, I tend to have a relationship with One Piece where I binge 200 episodes then don’t watch it for a year. A lot has happened recently. I had a mental breakdown, it was incredibly suicidal and I'm currently in recovery from that. The Counseller I'm seeing while I’m waiting for a diagnosis said I should go back to writing fanfiction (as my last happy period was when I started this account) I was also really into JJK for a while but I’m dwindling back into One Piece. Sorry, this is who I am XD Anyway, all that aside, I’m so excited to be working on this story again. I really enjoyed writing Who Is This Person so I’m here to give you all Misery.

The buzzing of his phone brought Sanji into alertness. He had been pulling an all nighter studying for his exams and only the incessant beeping of his mobile device could bring him out of it. He looked at the clock seeing that it was two in the afternoon. He had slept in quite significantly.

A lot had happened since the so called ‘Zoey incident’. That was nearly a year ago now. Nine months exactly. In the aftermath, Sanji tried to move on with his life. He had a renewed sense of vigor about his ambitions and wanted to climb higher. Sanji had been nonstop pestering Zeff about being made a sous chef. See, he was fine with just being a regular chef, but he saw himself aiming a bit higher. Zeff...as always said no. The old man never directly said any of this, but he didn’t want Sanji to become tied down the Baratie. Again, Zeff never said this but always seemed to push Sanji to explore more options. He wanted him to aim higher than being here.

Culinary School seemed like the next step which...had kept him busy. Enrolling had kept him busy. Classes, assignments and then the practical tests seemed to consume his time more than working at the Baratie ever had. He sometimes almost forgot about nine months ago.

Almost

It took Sanji a few moments to wake up fully as he sat up in his bedroom. He still lived in the same place. He looked out of the window from where he was sitting. He didn’t intend on leaving his room today. But once he felt ready to see the message, he grabbed his yawn and with a big yawn and a stretch, he was ready to open the message. It was from Luffy. It had been a few days since he had seen Luffy. He hadn’t been working nights, so he didn’t even get to see Luffy that way. Every now and then, Luffy will send messages begging for Sanji to close so he can come and take the food he used to almost a year ago.

L: SANJI

L: ANSWER ME

L: angryface angryface

L: WHERE ARE YOU?

And the rest of the messages were angry gifs and angry faces. Sanji watched them roll in. It seemed that Luffy had been trying to get a hold of him. It wasn’t long before Sanji replied.

S: Sorry I was asleep.

S: What do you want?

L: LMAO were you sleeping during the day?

S: Some of us are busy and work.

L: I WORK

S: Bothering Shanks at his job doesn’t count as work.

L: > : (

S: Okay. What did you message me for?

L: I need you at the Baratie! Tonight. 7.

S: I’m not working at 7 just for you to get freebies.

L: No no as like a not work thing?

L: YOU DON’T NEED TO WORK.

L Is what I’m tryingt o say

L: *trying to say*

L SANJI IT’S SO IMPORTANT PLEASE COME AT 7.

Sanji frowned, rubbing his eyes of the sleep that was still there. What did Luffy have to message him about a surprise for. He didn’t respond just yet. He stretched his muscles feeling all the tension in his back from sitting at the desk all night. Then, he replied.

S: Fine. I’ll be there.

Sanji tossed his phone to the side and then stood up. He shook off the remnants of sleep. Seeing as his plans of lazing were finished, he decided to have a shower. Just a quick shower before getting stressed and going into the kitchen where he made himself a strong cup of coffee. As the coffee machine hummed and the smell of Arabic coffee roamed in the kitchen, his mind began to drift as it often did when he was alone.

Zeff was right. He often was about these things. Going to school had broadened his horizons. It challenged him on the way he thought about food. It had been good for him.

However, his mind often went back to one person and no matter how much he tried to forget, he still thought about him.

He made his cup of coffee and sat down at the table.

Zoro. Even just thinking about him made his stomach turn. Zoro and he had been incredibly rocky recently. From the outside, it looked as if Sanji and Zoro got on a lot more than they used to. They hung out alone. They went out for dinner. They would go home and hook up then Zoro would leave. However, Sanji still held him at arm's length. Any attempt Zoro made at deepening their relationship was batted away. Sanji didn’t want to deepen their relationship. They were friends with benefits and nothing more.

As much as he tried to, Sanji found it difficult to move past what happened. Nine months later. Sanji gripped his cup as resentment and confusion pinged inside of him. He took a long sip of his coffee as he felt brewed. As much as he tried to shake these thoughts, they always go back to the same thing. It bothered him – the fact that Zoro seemed to take up so much space in his mind. Not even his exams took up this much space. The boundaries had been made clear; at least that was what Sanji told himself anyway. They were just friends with benefits. A little friendlier than before. A lot more complicated. The lines blurred in a way that Sanji couldn’t control. He hated it. Truely and utterly hated it.

Nine months. Nine months really should have been enough time to move on. However, whenever he closed his eyes at night. All he saw was Zoro.

With a frustrated sigh, Sanji put his cup on the table a little too forcefully, the clatter of porcelain and the glass table jarring him out of his thoughts. He needed to clear his head. Thinking about Zoro wasn’t helping. He had to figure out why Luffy was insistent on meeting up tonight but if he knew Luffy, it would be chaos which was very much a welcomed distraction.

As the day went on, Sanji decided to push the thoughts away and not acknowledge them anymore. He instead focused on trying to play a guessing game about what Luffy is planning. He laid out an outfit, opting into going for something that is casual but put together. After all, this was his home turf, the Baratie, even if he wasn’t working tonight. Old habits die hard.

As the day went on, the idea of Luffy planning a surprise took up his mind and he wasn’t thinking about Zoro anymore. It could be something endearing to outright disastrous, both ends of the spectrum Sanji had experienced time after another. By the time the evening rolled around, Sanji made his way down the stairs and there he was, standing in front of the restaurant. He pushed the doors open and noticed the quiet atmosphere. The evening rush had obviously not happened yet...which was weird for it being 7. He looked towards the kitchen and seen Zeff there, barking orders at the other chefs with his usual gruff demeanor.

“Oi. Old man,” Sanji called out as he looked through into the kitchen. Zeff glanced up, a brief look of surprise but then went to his usual gruff nature.

“Thought you were taking the night off, eggplant?”

“I was. Luffy said I needed to come by 7,” Sanji said, leaning against the counter.

“Oh. If it’s Luffy you are looking for, he’s around the corner,”

Sanji nodded before continuing to go around that way. However, once he got around the corner, he was meant by thunderous yelling.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY”

Oh yeah. It was his birthday today.

He was so busy with school that he must have...forgot. No, he didn’t forget. Who forgot their birthday? No, he just wanted to wait until he was a little less busy to celebrate his birthday. So, up till this point, he didn’t make too much of a big deal about it. He didn’t know how this translated into him getting a surprise birthday.

Sanji’s eyes scanned his friends. Nami, Usopp, Robin, Franky and of course, Luffy standing there. Luffy was grinning widely and bouncing with his usual excitement. A large cake decorated with bright icing. He recognized the cake; he had seen Zeff making it, but he had insisted it was an order for someone else. So, Zeff was also in on it. Huh.

“Luffy...” Sanji looked away, trying not so subtly to mask his embarrassment. When he looked elsewhere, he was Zoro. He was drinking a beer, as always. The sight of him made Sanji’s heart do weird shit so he looked back at Luffy, “You know I didn’t want to celebrate until I finished my exams...”

“Nonsense!” Luffy said, grabbing Sanji by the arm and pulling him towards his friends, “Everyone needs to celebrate their birthday properly,”

Sanji was pulled over to the table by Luffy who was determined to make sure that Sanji enjoyed his birthday with his friends surrounding him.

“You didn’t have to go all out,”

“This isn’t all out.” Luffy waved off his concerns with an infectious laughter.

Sanji couldn’t help but smile at Luffy’s infectious energy. He glanced at Zoro, still drinking beer pretending he was too cool for his birthday party.

Luffy’s excitement was appreciated though. He took a seat between Robin and Usopp. The cake was nearby. He couldn’t help but appreciate the effort.

“Still, you didn’t have to-”

“It’s not all out,” Luffy insisted with a grin, his eyes sparkling with that usual excitement. “We wanted to do something nice for you. Nami and Zoro helped quite a bit,”

Once again, his gaze went back to Zoro who was now avoiding his gaze. The mention of Zoro helping plan this seemed to catch Sanji off guard. He had to wonder how much Zoro contributed to the arrangement of this part. It made his chest feel rather tight which...was problematic to say the least.

He could not. He could not let his emotions ruin the night.

“I find it hard to believe that Zoro actually helped...” Sanji rolled his eyes, sitting back in his chair trying to give off an impression that he didn’t care, “It actually is thoughtful which makes me doubt it,”

Zoro shot him a look, still nursing his bear as his scowl deepened, “Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” He muttered, although looking closely there could have been something of the smallest hint of a small very small smile, something soft that almost felt like fondness.

Even if Sanji tried to be indifferent, his mind felt like it was racing. Honestly, he didn’t know why but inside it felt like it pissed him off. These little, small meaningful gestures made it incredibly hard for Sanji to separate himself from Zoro. It made it easier to...forget about what happened. Sometimes, it felt like he could maybe ease up around Zoro.

Maybe...just maybe.

“Maybe next time, stick to what you are good at,” Sanji shook his head, “You know, heavy lifting and lack of direction,”

In front of everyone, their banter felt normal. It felt like things had never changed. It felt as if they had just moved on from their lives. However, Sanji felt a weird edge right now. Tension with unresolved feelings between them as he tries to still be indifferent.

Luffy, obviously oblivious to everything that was going on, laughed, “You two never change!” He said before grabbing another slice of cake. “But hey! At least the gang is here!”

Breaking eye contact with Zoro, his attention was back on Luffy. Luffy was right. This was a nice gesture from all three of them. It would be a shame to have it ruined by his own racing mind. He looked at Zoro who avoided his eyes.

“Yeah, you are right,” Sanji smiled, “I appreciate it...thank you,”

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of laughter, jokes and the comfort of being surrounded by friends. What Sanji didn’t know was that Zeff had closed the whole restaurant so that they could focus on Sanji’s surprise party. Amazing food came out as well as drinks and desserts. Luffy definitely had his fair share of food and Zoro had his fair share of drinks.

When desserts came out, Sanji excused himself and went outside. He needed to...collect his thoughts. He needed to think about things outside. When he was outside, he sat on the step of the door and lit up a cigarette. He was lost in his thoughts outside when the door opened.

“Are you okay?”

Thankfully, it wasn’t Zoro. It was Robin. Sanji exhaled a long plume of smoke. The orange glow of his cigarette lit up his face in the darkness. He didn’t immediately respond. He just let the silence speak for itself. Robin was...for better or worse, incredibly perceptive. She always had been. Sanji had heard that Robin had been...somewhat involved in the club that Zoro frequented...or used to.

“Yeah,” He said, although he wasn’t sure if he believed that and his voice lacked the conviction for her to believe him too, “Just needed a breather...”

Robin didn’t say anything immediately, but she did sit next to him. She allowed him another puff of his cigarette before speaking.

“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, Sanji,” She said, her voice understanding but cautious as she didn’t wish to overstep, “Especially on nights like this. Birthdays can be...a time of reflection,”

Sanji took another drag as he watched the smoke curled into the night air, “I guess. I’m certainly in a reflective mood tonight,”

Robin nodded as she watched the smoke dissipate into the night air, “It’s understandable,” She said as her tone was gentle, “A lot has happened recently. It’s only human to be affected by what happened,”

Sanji shook his head with a very bitter chuckle, “I thought I moved on. I feel terrible... Luffy, Nami and... Zoro put a lot of effort into this and I... well, can’t help but think about things,”

Robin decided to let him talk rather than inject her own thoughts as her hands rested on her lap, looking out into the air. Her presence felt...so warming that he couldn’t help but talking even more.

“It’s like...you know, I tell myself that it doesn’t matter. I’m better off just focusing on my career and future but then,” Sanji gestured animatedly in the direction of the restaurant, “Zoro does something...stupidly kind... and I feel like those walls I’m trying to build up around him just...”

He realizes how it sounds and retracts slightly. Robin didn’t need to know every single detail of what was going on. He retracts and takes another puff of smoke, feeling even more bitter than he had done.

“It’s clear that Zoro has some sort of effect on you. It’s not easy to let events go...” Robin responded.

Sanji frowned. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He wanted her to call him a jerk but then again, that wasn’t like Robin. Robin was...perspective.

“Nine months. I’m still stuck,”

Robin turned her head slightly, “Moving on isn’t a linear process. Sometimes, it’s two steps forward and one step back,”

Sanji let out a sigh, running his hand through his hair. “But I don’t want to have these feelings. Zoro did the worst thing he could have done to be me ever and I can’t let it go. I just...want to let it go...” He clenched his fists, the frustration and bitterness simmering inside, “I hate him. I really really hate him but sometimes I don’t,” There was a beat of silence before Robin spoke up.

“Then, you need to talk to him about it. Make those boundaries clear or forgive him. Either way, holding onto it and hoping that it will go away, will only hurt yourself,”

His jaw tightened. He wanted to reject her advice and brush her off. He had gone for the past nine months without talking to him about it, but he knew that she was right. Holding onto this anger, this bitterness and it was bothering him. The truth was sinking in. Maybe it was time to decide. The thought made his stomach do funny things, but Robin was right; he couldn’t keep running from it forever. He had to face this head on.

“Thank you, Robin,” His voice softer, more sincere than it had been before, “I’ll think about what you’ve said,”

She gave a small nod before standing up.

“One step at a time,”

Sanji watched her get up and go back inside. Despite her being gone, her words echoed in his mind. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do now but for the first time in these past nine months, he felt like he had direction...he knew what he had to do.

He took the final drag of his cigarette before stubbing it out. With a deep breath, he stood up and turned back towards the door. The night was still young. His journey was not yet over, and it was like Robin said...

One step at a time.

The night went on for a couple more hours, nearly approaching midnight. Everyone had a great time. The evening continued with laughter and conversation. Thankfully, Sanji’s mind felt more at ease as he joined the rest. Even if he had to decide what to do, it was enough peace to let him enjoy the rest of the night. As it approached a new day, the group's energy began to wane, and people began to leave. Robin and Franky, who were still a steadfast couple left together, Luffy and Usopp left with intentions of going back to Luffy’s and Nami left with the intention of spending the night with Vivi who she was still very much dating. As Sanji began to watch everyone leave, it left him alone...well...not exactly.

Sanji was assured by Zeff that he would handle the mess in the morning which had Sanji having his last cigarette of the night outside. He looked towards the stairs leading up to his apartment. He was about to turn and leave when he heard someone else leave the restaurant.

It was Zoro and they both looked at each other. Sanji continued to smoke, and Zoro watched him as if he wanted to say something, but didn’t so Sanji was the first one to speak.

“Wanna come up stairs? It’s a long way home,”

It was the nicest way of asking Zoro if he wanted to stay the night. Now that everyone else was gone, Sanji and Zoro could drop the acting.

“Sure. I didn’t want to walk home anyway,”

Sanji shook his head with a humorless laugh. His reply was gruff as usual but there was some warmth behind it. They stood there for a moment, the silence between them was thick with words they couldn’t say then. It was tension that in the past nine months had become very familiar. It had begun to define their relationship...their very complicated relationship.

Once he was ready, he stubbed out his cigarette as his mind reeled from the advice he had been given by Robin. It couldn’t be put off any longer. Sanji had to do something about what was on his mind.

“Come on. Let’s go then,”

Zoro followed Sanji without a word. The quiet footsteps on the stairs were the only sound as they made their way up to Sanji’s apartment.

When they were inside, Sanji flickered on the light. There was a soft glow in a familiar space. Zoro looked around. He was unreadable. Maybe he could tell that change needed to happen too.

Sanji busied himself to begin with. He kicked his shoes off, tidied up a few items and the like as if to avoid talking to him. As normal, Zoro helped himself to a beer from the fridge and sat on the sofa, watching Sanji clean up.

“Are you okay?”

Sanji stopped what he was doing and looked at Zoro strangely. Was it that obvious?

“I’ve been in a reflective mood...” Sanji muttered, thinking about the conversation he had with Robin recently.

“Yeah?” Zoro said but more to prod more of an answer as if wanting to know Sanji’s thoughts but all it did was bring hesitation to the blond who stopped what he was doing and sat on the chair across from the sofa, away from Zoro. The familiar tension felt strange.

“Yeah...” Sanji’s voice was low as he leaned back in his chair.

Zoro’s expression remained stoic but there was a flicker of something on his face, but it was unreadable. Sanji didn’t know whether Zoro was also feeling reflective or if he had no idea what he was talking about. Either way, Sanji leaned forward.

“I keep telling myself that I hate you. I really do hate you. Yet, when you do things like what you did tonight with Nami and Luffy...” Sanji ran his hand through his hair, “It pisses me off because you do these kind decent little things and then I don’t know how I feel...”

Zoro didn’t say anything. What could he say? They’ve been over this countless times. No matter how many times they ended up in each other's room or have these little meet ups, they still go around in circles talking about nine months ago. Neither of them was over it nor honestly, no one could be blamed.

“I hate you for this. I really do...”

Zoro looked directly at Sanji, “I don’t blame you,”

Sanji’s breath caught. That was it. Zoro accepted it with bluntness, and it caught him off guard entirely. He had expected an argument, maybe a gruff retort but instead, Zoro accepted it.

And that just annoyed him even more. It was suffocating and yet, this was the most honest that they had been with each other this whole time.

“I don’t want to keep going around in these circles,” Sanji’s voice was strained, “But I don’t think I can move forward...the way that things are going,”

“You think I haven’t tried? That I don’t want to try and move on?” Zoro responded, clutching his beer like an anchor, “Do you think I haven’t suffered from this too? I know nothing I can say will make you accept what’s going on...”

“Then why do we keep doing this? Why help with the party? Why do you keep coming back to my place? Why?”

There was a beat of silence. Sanji had clenched his fists so hard that specs of blood appeared on the palm of his hand, but it didn’t hurt. He had bigger fish to fry right now, and it was all about Zoro.

And Zoro just continued to stare at him. He settled his beer down on the table and leaned forward, as if trying to close the distance between them, “Because...” He began, his voice lower and more measured than normal, “No matter how much we hate each other and no matter how much we hurt each other, I cannot stay away from you. You think I enjoy this? That I love how much of a mess we are?”

And that felt like an honest admission from Zoro. Something that Sanji could not honor in return as he scowled, “Then why the hell are we doing this? If you can’t stay away and I can’t let it go, then what the hell are we doing here?”

And there it was again. That silence showed that neither of them knew the answer. Those raw feelings just bubbled below the surface.

“I don’t know,” Zoro sighed, “I don’t know okay,” His voice low and rough, “I don’t have the answer, but I wish I did but I don’t,”

Sanji scowled and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I can’t keep doing this with you,”

“You don’t have to,” Zoro said, standing up as if something finally snapped, “No one is forcing you to do this. Maybe we should stop seeing each other,” Sanji’s heart clenched at those words even though a part of him had been expecting this conclusion. He had thought about this countless times before, about what it meant if they did cut ties and moved on. Yet, hearing Zoro vocalize it, made it real.

“Is that what you want?” Sanji didn’t stand up. He looked up at Zoro who looked as if he was about to leave, as if he’d had enough.

Zoro hesitated but the tension in the room pushed him to talk about it, “You’ve made it clear. You can’t do this anymore. So, you don’t have to. I’m giving you an out,”

Sanji took a deep breath as if trying to steady himself. Everything felt as if it was crumbling around him, and he was grasping to give himself some normality. But maybe it was too late. Maybe this was the new normal. Everything felt already broken. A wave of emotions crashed around him as a mix of anger and sadness. Zoro’s words were logical and to the point. He was giving Sanji an out and that was logical, but it was a punch in the gut after everything they had been through.

This was the exact moment he had feared and wanted.

“You are giving me an out?” Sanji stood up, shaking his head in disbelief and frustration, “Like it’s that simple? Like walking away will finish all of this?”

Zoro clenched his jaw, “Maybe it is that simple, Sanji. Maybe we are making it more difficult than it had to be,”

It was the moment he had to decide. Sanji’s heart raced and for a moment, he just couldn’t find the words. What did he want?

“I think you are right,” Sanji said. Maybe he was right. Maybe they needed to stop. “Maybe walking away will help,”

Zoro nodded, his face unreadable but he looked towards the door and then back to him, “I agree. I will leave you alone then...” His words hung in the air, heavy and final. The silence that followed it was suffocating and filled with things that they didn’t even get a chance to say. Finally, there was an end to this unrelenting cycle.

For a moment, time stopped. By the time that Sanji realized that time’s arrow marched forward, Zoro opened the door and was gone. The blonde stood there frozen. So that was it. Zoro had walked out of his life as if it was nothing. He had wanted this – to end this cycle but now that it had happened, Sanji felt hollow. He clenched his fists again, realizing the pain of cuts on his hand but it was nothing compared to the pain in his chesrt. Nine months. He’d put up with this for nine months and for what? What did he have to show for it?

Instead of relief, he felt loss.

He sat on the sofa, the exhaustion of the night caught up on him. He rubbed his face, noticing the wetness on his cheeks.

One step at a time.

But what was the next step? What did he do next? How did you move on now?

Sanji leaned back on the sofa, reaching for his lighter and cigarettes. He lit one up and stared at the ceiling. He had made his choice, now he had to live with it. Maybe that’s how it was supposed to end.

One step at a time.

#one piece zosan #zoro x sanji #zosan fanfic #zosan #roronoa zoro #opla

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