#angry ronon

[sowhumpful]

No. 6: “Do or die, you’ll never make me; Because the world will never take my heart.”

Recording | Made to Watch | “It should have been me.”

[dedkake]

do you ever think about how season 4 hits john repeatedly in his abandonment issues and he tries so hard to hang on and hang on and hang on but the hits keep coming.

elizabeth sacrifices herself to save them and john isn't allowed to look for her and he's angry but he'll respect it.

ronon gets ready to leave the team and john tries his best to respect that too. but it's hurting him.

rodney wants to sacrifice himself for his sister and john quietly doesn't let it happen.

teyla tells him she's pregnant (something that invariably changes a parent's life in some ways are predictable and some ways that aren't) and john gets nasty about it.

the hits keep coming and john's doing his best but there are Limits. and this happens all in the span of 10 episodes ???

(and let's not forget carson just a bit earlier and teyla getting kidnapped a few episodes later GOSH and the weight of last man holo rodney's faith in him)

idk i just think about it All The Time.

[goodwhump-temp]

John Sheppard Whump - SG: Atlantis

1x01 Rising - Almost shot out of the sky, angry, scared/confused 1x02 Hide and Seek - Tazed, choked 1x04 38 Minutes - (Wraith bug attached to him) knocked unconscious/jolted, intense pain from multiple attempts to remove it, heart stops 1x08 Underground - Kidnapped by Chief O'brien (🤓) 1x10 The Storm - Alone, worries for friends 1x12 Defiant One - Stuck with McKay + nerd, shot, runs into forcefield (knocked down forcefully) 1x13 Hot Zone - Sacrifices self, caught in explosion 1x14 Sanctuary - Held psychologically captive, angry 1x19 The Siege pt. 2 - Shocked unconscious, almost killed by wraith, passes out, sacrificing himself ---------------------------------------------

2x01 The Siege - Fails to save a friend, guilted 2x02 the intruder - Piloting ship taken over by wraith virus, guilt/depressed about Ford 2x03 Runner - Shot/captured by Ronon, shot in the hand, increased guilt about Ford 2x05 Condemned - Jumper shot down, captured, hurts his knee (by being dumb) 2x08 Conversion - Infected with wraith retro-virus, slowly turns into a bug, shot by Ronon 2x09 Aurora - "Captured," shocked by force field multiple times 2x10 The Lost Boys - Kidnapped/stunned unconscious, threatened by the Lost Boys, poisoned, knocked down by an aggressive-drugged Ronon, guilted, Kidnapped/stunned unconscious AGAIN, weak/sore, taken by the Wraith and painfully 'willed'/torture 2x11 The Hive - Stunned unconscious, painfully willed by the queen, guilted 2x12 Epiphany - Stuck in a place where time moves faster/ages quicker/alone (6 months), evolves into bearded John, seriously injured by monster (unconscious + seriously bleeding) multiple times 2x16 Long Goodbye - Possessed by a bitter old man, shot in the shoulder, shocked unconscious and captured, painful convulsions, weak 2x17 Coup D'etat - Genii trap, collapses, captured/tied up ---------------------------------------------

3x01 No Mans Land - Captured, tired 3x03 Irresistible - The only one who isn't in love with Lucius, shot unconscious (sleeping so peacefully wtf), imprisoned 3x04 Sateda - Tranquillized unconscious, captured (+ nice talk with Tayla :)) 3x05 Progeny - Fingers in the brain torture 3x06 Real World - Angst for Weir 3x07 Common Ground - Captured by Kolya, life sucked out of him, exhausted 3x09 Phantoms - Trapped on a planet, Afghanistan PTSD, guilt about the death of another friend, apologizes a million times for literally shooting everybody 3x12 Echoes - Ears bleeding, tortured/hospitalized with equally deaf McKay 3x13 Irresponsible - Western duel against Kolya (gigachad) 3x16 Ark - Almost sucked out into space, collapses from lack O2, sacrifices himself, crashes the ship, exhausted 3x17 Sunday - Beat up by Ronon during training 3x18 Submersion - Freaked out, painfully controlled/willed by wraith lady, exhausted/sore 3x19 Vengeance - Gets in a banter fight with Michael face to face, gets smacked around by a huge bug ---------------------------------------------

4x01 Adrift pt.2 - Emotional about Weir 4x04 Doppleganger - Infected and knocked down by crystal, exhausted, in everybody's nightmares (effects relationships), really beaten up/thrown by himself, dangerously high heart rate 4x05 Travelers - Captured, beaten, threatened, shocked unconscious 4x06 Tabula Rasa - Infected, loss of memory/clueless, shocked unconscious & tied up, exhausted 4x10 This Mortal Coil - Bleeding, Ronon caused injury, captured, acts dead 4x11 Be All My Sins Remember'd - Shocked unconscious, captured 4x12 Spoils of War - Shocked unconscious, painfully willed by Wraith queen (another nice talk with Teyla) 4x15 Outcast - Dad died, emotional, choked unconscious, weak 4x20 The Last Man - Trapped in the future, walking through a rough sandstorm, collapse, weak, trapped in a building collapse ---------------------------------------------

5x01 Search and Rescue - Trapped under rubble, chunk of concrete stabbed in the abdomen, denies surgery, in pain the whole episode 5x02 Seed - Injected with experimental drug with high risk, convulsing, in serious pain, flatlines, crashes into the city, stabbed in the stomach by tentacles 5x03 Broken Ties - Punched unconscious by Ronon, captured, 5x05 Ghost in the Machine - Thrown across the room and wall, weak 5x06 The Shrine - Emotional about McKay 5x08 The Queen - Captured 5x10 First Contact - Stargate explosion 5x11 The Lost Tribe - Caught in Stargate explosion, weak, glass shards in the back 5x13 Inquisition - Knocked out 5x14 The Prodigal - Hanging off a building, badly beaten up by Michael 5x15 Remnants - Abducted, knocked unconscious, beaten, arm chopped off 5x19 Vegas - Dies (Alternate reality)

[lightthewaybackhome]

What's not to love about this episode?

This is one of those episodes I like to watch privately because it always makes me cry. (Not a public crier, which is funny because I cry very easily, at everything. If I'm happy, I cry. If I'm sad, I cry. If I'm angry, I cry.)

I love Rodney's story arc. He goes from doing lots of big things for the world, for the SGA, for Atlantis, all while trying to ascend. But, it's not until he starts doing things for HIS people specifically that he starts finding peace. He has to show love, not to the world, not even to Atlantis, but to Teyla, Ronon, Elizabeth, Radak, and in a way, Sheppard and Carson before he can ascend or save himself.

I love Elizabeth telling Sheppard he has to help Rodney and that Rodney has to let him because she knows Sheppard is who Rodney listens to, but they're both not good with emotional stuff, so she orders them.

But, what I love best about this episode is that what really fixes Rodney, gives him the space he needs to figure the problem out, and allows him to "release his burdens" is knowing that his people love him. I think he must carry some deep-seated fears that he's unlovable. I think Sheppard fears he's going to hurt his people or be unable to rescue them or not be there when they need him. Rodney fears that no one loves him. That's why he's kinda mean. If he keeps everyone at arm's length, he doesn't have to worry about whether they love him or not. He won't get hurt if he just assumes no one likes him. Then he gets to Atlantis, and he's needed, and he's saving people, and now it actually matters, and they actually matter. Rodney desperately wants to be loved even if he's unlovable. So, when Elizabeth says that they all love him, and they affirm that to him, he can 'ascend.'

And this is why Ronon's hug at the end is so important. They weren't just saying this because Rodney was dying, and they didn't just love him for what he could do for them. They love him. Rodney McKay. Ronon, the big lug, just gave him the most genuine hug. We've seen Ronon hug Sheppard, or toss him around, in the Return. We've seen him be gentle with Teyla, but this is the episode where we see his love for Rodney.

I do love this episode. Even if I have to wait for days to find a good time to watch it.

@sheppardsmckay this one is about your favorite. 🖤

[dr-futbol-blog]

Runner, Pt. 7

As he is staring down the barrel of Ronon's gun, Sheppard seems to get an acute case of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" and hence offers to help the stranger in exchange for their freedom. His reasoning is probably that having this guy out there fighting the wraith can only help them out in the long run. And also, he needs to get to Ford and to make sure McKay is safe, so he might as well try anything.

I will draw your attention to the fact that he has not placed his body between Teyla and the gun, even though he's seen Teyla taken down twice by it already. Granted, we don't know what Sheppard would do if Ronon had threatened Teyla's life to get him to play ball with him but while he seems very keen to disarm Ronon here, swaying on his feet as he's trying to think of what to do next, his instinct is not to protect Teyla with his own body. Not like we have seen him do for McKay many times in the past, nary with a conscious decision. As Ronon turns the gun on Teyla, Sheppard full on stops himself from getting in front of the gun. He is trying to keep the man's attention on himself, he is trying to talk them out of this, but it's very clear that between the barrel of the gun and Teyla is not a place he wants to be. He makes an active choice not to do that.

Ronon seems skeptical of Sheppard's offer, and given what his life must have been like for the past seven years, he probably has no reason to trust anyone easy. Sheppard sighs, and turns away from him as Ronon seems to turn down his offer, and this very much looks to be a manipulation tactic. As mentioned before, Sheppard appears to have had some training in psychological warfare, he is very practiced in manipulating hostiles in many different ways, and here he very much looks to be doing that. While Ronon is clearly a formidable warrior whose instincts have served him well for him to have survived for so long, he is still quite young and unequipped to deal with the kind of skills Sheppard has for incapacitating an enemy. Sheppard has been working him the whole time they have been his captives, and he's just trying another angle here:

Sheppard: You know, there's a chance we could help you. Dex: How? Sheppard: We know a pretty good doctor. Maybe he could take that tracking device out of you. Dex: You think I haven't tried? Sheppard: Suit yourself.

Sure, it could be that Sheppard is merely weary, that he's actually feeling so morose that he just doesn't care anymore. Doesn't care what happens to this man, to Teyla, or to himself. It's possible. But there definitely seems to be a performative quality to his sigh. The way he looks away, presses his head down and looks deflated. Sheppard is not going to turn his eyes away from a gun pointed at him unless he had a good reason for it. He is making a performative display of emotion to provoke a complementary emotion in the target, which is a very effective manipulation technique especially when one is in a weaker power position, as he is here. He's not angry, he's disappointed. And it seems to work, too.

Although not trusting him yet by any means, Ronon is immediately intrigued:

Dex: And why would you do that? Sheppard: Because I'm a nice guy. Look, I told you. You hate the wraith, we hate the wraith. It's something we all have in common. We just want our friend back. Dex: You get this tracking device out of me, I'll get your friend back for you. Sheppard: OK, good. It's a deal.

Another reference to friends is made. But what's really concerning is Sheppard's quip about being a nice guy. He says this dripping with sarcasm. He clearly does not believe it about himself for one moment. He even shakes his head no as he says it, which just confirms that he does not believe what he says (it's a common tell when people are lying that their heads either nod or shake to the opposite effect of their words). He says "I'm a nice guy" like he's basically saying "fuck you, that's why".

His actual reasons are to get free, get Ford, and let this guy loose on the wraith. He knows that he's not a nice guy. If he was a nice guy, Ford never would have run out on him. If he was a nice guy, McKay would want to be with him. If he was a nice guy, he could actually be McKay's friend and not be such a dick toward him just because his own heart is aching. He's trying so hard to do the right thing and it always seems to come out wrong. So maybe he can do something for this guy. Maybe he can do something right by someone, for a change.

Leaving Teyla behind, Sheppard takes off at a run to the jumper. And note that yet again, he does not offer to stay himself and let Teyla go back to the jumper to relay the message to Atlantis. He full on leaves a defenseless woman alone in the woods with a man he knows very little about, and what little he knows tells him he's a very dangerous man. And yes, he sees Teyla as a warrior first. But it's obvious here that he has trouble seeing her as a woman at all.

And while Ronon probably hasn't had sex for a very long time, he never seems interested in Teyla that way. This, however, doesn't change the fact that this could have been a very bad idea, a very bad call from Sheppard. It's the ever-enduring spark of humanity in Ronan that saved the day (in more ways than one) here, not the exceptional military strategy employed by Sheppard. Like, he doesn't even offer to stay in her stead. It doesn't even occur to him that he could do that. He has very literally been willing to give up his own life several times to keep McKay safe but seems to display none of that instinct here. But let's say it's because he has such respect for Teyla as a warrior and because McKay is such an asset for them.

Once Sheppard is back at the jumper, he discovers that Lorne has lost McKay in the woods. His reaction is interesting. But first note that his first question, the first thing that interests him as he makes it back, is about McKay. He says "Where's Lorne?" to one of Lorne's men because that's who they know, that's who they are in contact with, it's Lorne that is the context for these men. But his interest in Lorne's whereabouts is about McKay, because he had entrusted McKay to him and the last information he has, McKay was with Lorne. He probably expected to find McKay in the same place he would find Lorne.

That's his first priority, finding McKay. And you can tell that this is the case by the fact that as he actually sees Lorne, Sheppard is barely paying attention to him. His "What happened to you?" sounds distracted, not like he has actual concern for Lorne's well-being. And as he passes Lorne, he turns to look at the soldier that was seated next to him, making mental note of the fact that it is not McKay. But before he has time to ask about the thing that he actually cares about, Lorne volunteers the information.

If we saw McKay basically not react to them losing contact with Sheppard earlier, Sheppard now responds to Lorne's report about having lost McKay with only an offhand "Great!" Only, it's not a case of dissociation with him, it's just the amount of feeling that he's willing to show to his men. Sheppard has the exact same response to the arrival of wraith darts through the gate later on. That's the same amount of fucked he thinks he is having apparently lost McKay. But the thing is, we don't actually get to see the full extent of his reaction to this. He runs into the jumper and immediately starts dialing the gate to contact Atlantis, and we then cut away.

However, it seems as though Sheppard's level of urgency rises between him asking Lorne what was the matter with him and Lorne mentioning McKay being missing. He's punching up the gate symbols like there was a fire under him, all of a sudden. Sure, he came to the jumper at a run but given that he had left Teyla alone with this stranger, it doesn't seem like his original plan to get Beckett to come to the planet to help them with the guy's tracker was that time sensitive. Sure, they need to get a move on but there's no desperation. Now, McKay having gone missing? That is time sensitive. Every second he doesn't know where that man is is a second too many.

So, how come we don't see Sheppard react to McKay having gone missing? We don't get to hear Sheppard's call to Atlantis and the next time we see him, he's busy bringing Beckett back to Ronan's cave. So, he doesn't care that much, right? Only, Weir mentions McKay to Beckett as he's preparing to leave for his house-call on the alien planet meaning that Sheppard obviously had told her about it and very likely had extracted all the details about it from Lorne during the call, as it seems like Weir knows precisely what had happened. So, it tells us Sheppard was at least interested. But the thing is, later Ford takes out a pair of marines searching the forest for something which means that before Sheppard had left the jumper with Beckett, he had ordered the others to look for McKay.

The reason he did not go himself was because as (presumably, given how he managed to clip Acastus Kolya while he was holding Weir as hostage) the best sharp shooter of the lot, it was up to him to keep the expedition's chief medical officer and McKay's best friend alive through the ordeal. He personally had to go back to the cave. But everyone else that was not guarding the gate was on McKay duty. It's never explicitly mentioned and yet it's very obvious that's what is going on with the marines in the woods. They're even cautious as McKay jumps up from the bushes, clearly expecting some terrible thing to be at his heels.

But despite the fact that a whole lot of people seem to be worried about McKay, he's handling himself pretty well given how unhinged Ford seems to be. Their interaction also gives us insight into just how McKay is doing in his life, all things considered. For one, he seems to be in much better physical condition than Lorne had believed:

Ford: Why are you stopping? McKay: Because I am tired, and you have no idea where you're going. Ford: How do you know? McKay: We've been walking around in circles for hours!

Not only have they been wading through difficult terrain for hours, McKay has been doing all of it in the rubber suit, with nothing to drink the whole time. Anyone would be exhausted from this. He's also hypoglycemic and hasn't had anything to eat in hours, either. McKay seems to have a lot of stamina. But it looks like that's not even the reason why he stopped here. He clearly loses his footing and, embarrassed by this, attempts to cover for it by taking a pose. It's actually pretty similar to Sheppard's first trek through the woods with Teyla in Rising (S0102), where Sheppard loses his footing and tries to be real smooth about his landing. McKay tells Ford he's tired to cover up for losing his balance not because that was the reason.

And speaking of things these two do in a similar way, as couples often adopt mannerisms from the other, McKay rotates his hand quickly as the mentions the word "circle" here, a visual representation of the shape. Sheppard did the same thing using his head (as his hands were tied) when he mentioned "circle" to Ronon earlier.

Furthermore, this may be another case of distorted perception of time for McKay. He tells Ford he feels like they've been walking around for hours, but given that they are now expecting the wraith to arrive on the planet any minute and Sheppard does seem to be trying to speed things along, this is likely an exaggeration. And again time feels longer to him, it seems to him like his suffering is prolonged, a common sign of dissociation.

Now, while Ford seems to be projecting hardcore as he unloads on McKay here, no longer having his CO as a reason to keep his thoughts regarding McKay to himself, he does seem to manage to strike a few nerves with McKay. McKay's voice breaks as he responds to Ford's tirade because his accusation is true, as far as McKay is concerned. For a man that hasn't had that many friends in his life, he sure has let them down a lot lately:

Ford: So that's it -- you just give up, is that it? That's what you do, isn't it -- you give up on your friends when they need you most! McKay: No-one's given up on you, Ford! We wanna help you! Ford: I'm talking about Major Sheppard and Teyla. McKay: Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard.

Furthermore, McKay's bitterness for Sheppard's promotion seems to come out full force here. Ford interprets McKay's words as him making fun of him for having forgotten Sheppard's new title where that probably wasn't even close to what McKay intended with his tone.

McKay seems to spit out the title with thinly veiled disdain either toward Sheppard being promoted or toward the US military in general. He himself had trouble remembering the new title a whole month later (perhaps indicative of some mental resistance toward the information on his part), so Ford not being able to remember it here is not surprising in the least, nor is it a target for mockery for McKay. But what we can see here clearly is that McKay has a problem with Sheppard's promotion, and this problem is definitely not that he doesn't think Sheppard deserved it. His attitude must have some other motivation. Like the fact that he thinks the promotion is one of the obstacles now permanently between the two of them, stopping them from getting to each other.

But because Ford is expecting McKay to make fun of him, he takes offense at this. He's expecting McKay to make fun of him because his interpretation of their past team dynamic is that McKay and Sheppard made fun of him ("Oh, so it's OK when you guys do it"), they hazed the young soldier. And again, he continues projecting:

Ford: Alright -- Lieutenant Colonel. So Ford's lost it, Ford's all crazy, Ford can't even remember a simple little thing. McKay: Hey, I never said that! Although the fact that you keep referring to yourself in the third person does indicate clinical dissociation.

But the ugly truth of the matter is that Ford was barely on McKay's radar, for him he was a blunt instrument. He regarded Ford in a way that he hates to be treated himself. And here, Ford is holding up a mirror to his face, forcing him to take a look at himself. If McKay wasn't dissociating so hard, all of this might actually hurt. But although Ford seems to be lashing out due to his own issues, he's digging up dirt from his own subconscious to fling at McKay, he does manage to say things that, while not necessarily factually true, McKay believes to be true about himself at the end of the day. What Ford says to him just reinforces what McKay already thinks about himself, and it's notable that he has no arguments against it.

Ford: You don't even know what a friend is, do you, McKay? All you care about is yourself. McKay: Will you relax?! Ford: You relax! You're pathetic. You were always making fun of me. You wanna play a game? Pick on Ford. I could shoot you and leave you here to die. McKay: Shoot me? When did this escalate to physical violence?

McKay is selfish, he's aware of that. He needed time to sort through his feelings. He needed Sheppard t be honest with him. He needed Sheppard to let him in. He needed Sheppard to trust him. He needed Sheppard to consider him. He needed Sheppard to be there for him. He needed Sheppard to want him, to love him, to choose him. He needed, he needed, he needed. And he had never really even stopped to consider what Sheppard might need. He really was a bad friend, and a worse lover. He did only care about himself. No one had ever accused him of caring too much about other people. Most people were abstractions to him and the few people he did consider his friends, he treated poorly. But Ford didn't have to throw all of that to his face like that.

The thing to note here is that McKay seems not at all intimidated by Ford. And this seems to have nothing to do with him believing Ford is still the same old Ford who would not hurt him, or that he just doesn't realize how the wraith enzyme must be affecting his mind (he did see Ford almost choke the life out of his best friend right in front of him, after all; he knows Ford is far from alright), or that he's displaying any special brand of bravery here. It's much more concerning than that. Like Sheppard earlier, McKay seems not to care what happens to him. McKay is being held together by such a thin thread that he seems to be very close to his breaking point, and all of the things he's been keeping inside for the past months suddenly come tumbling out of him:

McKay: Alright, you wanna shoot me, shoot me! Fine! I don't care. It'll just save me suffering one of the many horribly painful deaths I have in line from having been exposed to this much radiation! And, quite frankly, it'll prove just how far gone you are!

He goes off on Ford. And his diatribe has nothing whatsoever to do with Ford, he simply can't take any more suffering, he has reached his limit. While he adds the words "from having been exposed to this much radiation" as though he was talking about just now, was talking about just the day he's had, it's much more than that. We know from The Siege (S02E01) that he has been thinking about death, all the terrible ways to die, for a while now ("Slow death, quick death, painful death, cold, lonely death..."). McKay is in so much anguish over what transpired in the past few months that some part of him thinks it would be a relief if someone ended him, ended his suffering.

McKay keeps this mostly under wraps, losing himself in his work. Mostly he seems functional, his old normal self, focused on doing things. But this is what he's hiding inside the whole time. This is what he tries to protect Sheppard from by not letting the man close to him. This has been eating him up inside ever since he watched Peter Grodin give up his life for nothing, ever since he watched that dot that was Sheppard's jumper move inevitably toward the hive on the screen in the control platform. He loves Sheppard too much to let him to be hurt by this venom.

But still, in his heart of hearts, McKay does not want to die. It's not over for him, either.

Having no more words to say, Ford shoots up the woods around McKay, and this makes him suddenly snap out of the dark place he was at. McKay even empathizes with Ford as he stops to really listen what the man is telling him. He can relate to feeling all alone. He can relate to someone not trusting him. Even though he does not think so himself, McKay does care about people. He doesn't always understand them, they frequently get in his way and irritate him because he's quicker than most, but he cares a lot. He cares so much that he has been ready to give up his own life on several occasions so that others might have the fighting chance to live. And he cares about Ford enough to want to bring him back home:

Ford: I'm sorry. Look, you don't know what it's like, almost dying like I did, having your friends turn on you, no-one trusts you. I'm out here all alone. McKay: You don't have to be alone, Ford. Look, this drug is messing with your head. Come back to the jumper with me -- we'll go back to Atlantis, and Doctor Beckett may even be able to figure out a way for you to keep all your new super-powers, huh? Ford: You think? McKay: Sure, why not?

Again his voice breaks when he tells Ford that he doesn't have to be alone. He wishes so much that someone would say these words to him. That he didn't have to be alone. The loneliness he felt now, all the time, was unbearable because for a moment, he hadn't been alone. He hadn't been lonely. He had loved someone and he had been loved. Who ever said that it was better to have loved and lost than never having loved at all had certainly not been marooned in another galaxy having to watch the love of their life without being able to get to them. That was being alone.

For a moment it seems like McKay, with his genuine plea at Ford, is able to reach him but then the madness overtakes him again. Ford seems to be obsessing over finding Sheppard, and McKay can relate to that too. As Ford takes off, he actually lets McKay go free here. McKay has the chance to just walk away, go back to the jumper, go back to see if Lorne is alright. Get some help, find out what's going on.

Ford: First we've gotta save Colonel Sheppard and Teyla. McKay: No, no, wait. Ford: No! That'll prove that I'm OK. You go back to the jumper, I'll meet you there.

But of course, this is not an option for McKay. If there's even a slim chance that Ford is right, that Sheppard is in trouble and Ford knows how to find him, he has to go with him. Come hell or high water, Sheppard is the most important thing in his life, and that's just the main text of it all.

Continued in Pt. 8

[wipbigbang]

Round 1 of the Reverse WIPBB fic claims is live! You may claim as many pieces of art as you want, just fill out a separate form for each and give each claim a different username.

Fic claims for this round will be open until August 29th!

This is just one of the artworks still available for claiming...

Stargate Atlantis #003 Title: That Goddamn Gene Pairing/Characters: (Gen or pairing of author's choice within them) John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagan, Ronon Dex Rating: General | G Warnings/Tags: Rodney, Teyla and Ronon will be retrained by chains. John is mind-whammied by Ancient tech. Summary: The setting is a huge dark hall with columns, off-world. In the foreground, John Sheppard, wearing a deep red robe, is holding a glowing Ancient globe. He's looking up and blue light shines from his eyes, and there's a column of blue light coming down from above onto him and the artifact. Behind, in the dark hall, are numerous people or priests all on their knees, bowing down. In front of them stand John's team, Rodney, Teyla, and Ronon, immobilised (will be by chains), watching helplessly, distressed or angry. Thumbnail:

[spurious]

8 for the kissing meme

Kissing prompt ask meme: send a number~

8: "in secrecy" oooooooh this was FUN

There are days that Rodney doesn’t mind having to keep things between them a secret. He’s, despite evidence to the contrary, actually somewhat of a private person, and he doesn’t feel like everyone in the city needs to know he and Sheppard are together. He knows it would fuel gossip among the personnel, knows his scientists would never let it go, and, well, Ronon and Teyla know, and usually that’s enough.

Today is not one of those days, though. Today is a day that Rodney wants to tear down the American military establishment, wants to scream the truth in everyone’s smug fucking faces, to tongue-kiss John in the goddamn gate room. It’s petty, sure, but Rodney’s never claimed not to be a petty person. Watching John get dragged off by the latest beautiful alien princess, seeing the congratulating and back-slapping among the Marines when he’d come back looking rumpled—and Rodney trusts John with his life, of fucking course he trusts him not to cheat, so it’s not that he’s worried, or jealous, he just…wants, to be able to be more than something shared in the quiet dark, to have the same respect for his relationship that anyone else would be afforded.

He could get angry at John about it, has gotten angry at John about in the past, has refused to speak to him for days until they both broke, making eye contact across the mess and just laughing, stupid and light with it, edges softened. If he wanted to rant about for a while, John would listen to that, too, would let Rodney pace and shout and wave his hands until he got tired.

Right now, though, all he wants is to be alone with John, to feel him under his hands, to confirm, confirm, confirm. He presses John back against the door, tilts his head up and noses across the line of John’s jaw.

“She didn’t touch you?” Rodney asks, because he needs to know whether he has to put John in the shower before they get any further with this.

“No,” John says, shakes his head. He lifts his hands and clutches at Rodney’s shoulders, tight and desperate like he needs this too. “Only you.”

“That’s right,” Rodney murmurs, kissing John’s chin, his cheekbones, before landing on his mouth. John opens for him with a quiet little sound, muffled against Rodney’s lips, and, well—John like this, soft and beautiful and giving himself up so perfectly, so easily: that’s something Rodney’s glad to keep to himself.

[sga-owns-my-soul]

more hug headcanons:

- Chuck: LOVES hugs and would love to give them to more people, but is shy about it 🥺 (dude, next time you see a team stumbling back through the Gate all bruised and beaten up, wait till Carson gives the all clear and then get in there. They need it)

- Radek: feeling overwhelmed/sad/angry? Go find him. A short, effective hug and all the vodka you need.

- Laura Cadman will just glomp you. And you will like it.

chuck 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭 GIVE THAT BOY A HUG!!!!!!!!! ronon should take him on a hugging crusade around the city

"tbh i think a short hug and a few shots of radeks vodka would cure 98% of my problems" -everyone on atlantis at some point or another probably

yes laura will just come up to people and Latch On for an indefinite amount of time and the easiest way through it is to just accept it (which is very easy to do most of the time)

[ao3feed-mcshep]

Rodney Hears A Rumour

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/z4IPwn2

by sga_owns_my_soul

John’s hand shook as he swiped the chime. He was at his wits end and didn’t know what else to do. Everything had gone wrong so fast, and he didn’t even know why. The door whooshed open after a second, and he was met with an angry glare.

Words: 2127, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Stargate Atlantis

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagan, Evan Lorne, Original Character

Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard

Additional Tags: Misunderstandings, Temporary Break Up, Happy Ending, atlantis takes rodney's side

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/z4IPwn2

[eirian-houpe]

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Teyla Emmagan/Michael Kenmore Characters: Richard Woolsey, John Sheppard, Jennifer Keller, Ronon Dex, Rodney McKay, Original Stargate Character(s), Original Stargate Wraith Character(s), Michael Kenmore Additional Tags: Angst, Traditions, Drama, Canon Typical Violence, Politics, Bureaucracy, Conflict Series: Part 2 of SGA Virtual Season Five Summary: When the IOA replaces Carter as the head of the Atlantis Expedition, and the first thing that happens is the alienation of long standing allies, in spite of Sheppard's best efforts, trouble can't be far behind. Woolsey's command is given a baptism of fire when the Alpha team is ambushed off world, and hampered by a lack of intel they truly are on their own.

Read previous episodes on AO3

Read previous chapters on AO3

Chain of Command - Act 2

Sheppard didn't knock.  He didn't even think of knocking.  He just stormed in and started on the offensive.

"I sure hope you're satisfied," he said, letting the volume of his voice speak to the intensity of his anger.

"Colonel Sheppard—" Woolsey started.

"Don't 'Colonel Sheppard' me!" Sheppard exploded.  "Do you know what you've done?"

"I understand your concern," Woolsey said.

"No," he contradicted the expedition commander, "You don't understand anything."

Woolsey sighed and started to rise.  Instead he stopped when Sheppard leaned down, bracing his arms against the desk and all but pushed his face right against Woolsey's.

"The Athosians were more than just our friends.  They were our allies and our guides.  We're still little more than strangers in this galaxy and without their knowledge and their help we would have been dead a long time ago."

"But, Colonel Sheppard, the fact remains – in attempting to rescue Teyla from Michael's compound the loss of life was completely unacceptable.  Two whole teams, practically wiped out in the initial explosion and countless other souls lost in the subsequent battle against the Wraith."

"Woolsey," Sheppard pressed, "As bad as it was, and much as I might, in other circumstances, agree with you, it's nothing compared to the loss of life to come if we don't get Teyla back from Michael."

"Ah yes," Woolsey said.  His sudden understanding lent his voice a very sarcastic edge.  "Your Intel from the future."

"We have to get her back, Richard," Sheppard began pacing, "and before the baby arrives."

"Colonel, I've read the report, in some detail as a matter of fact.  You found the place in McKay's information.  She wasn't there.  You've already changed the—"

"No," Sheppard argued again.  "Michael still has her, and the baby, and once that's been born there'll be nothing to stop him from fulfilling his plan – destroying the Wraith and then subjugating the humans of this galaxy to his will.  Those that survive, that is, just like McKay told me."

"Before you came back and changed things," Woolsey insisted, before going on, "and anyway, Colonel, wouldn't that in actual fact be a good thing?"

"Letting millions of people die?"

"Ensuring that Michael has the capacity to destroy the Wraith."

"No!" Sheppard swung round and glared at Woolsey.  "If this is the real agenda behind the IOA replacing Carter… If this was their plan all along—"

"Colonel Sheppard, are you suggesting that the IOA would sacrifice Teyla's life in order to achieve some kind of twisted—"

"No, Woolsey, you did.  You pretty much said as much."

"I said no such thing," Woolsey argued, finally standing and pushing out his chest in a self important display, "I was merely pointing out the positive of a tragic situation that has occurred as a consequence of war."

"Bullshit!" Sheppard spat, shocking Woolsey to silence.  After a moment he added, "Besides which, it's an entirely moot point."  He fixed Woolsey with another angry glare.  "We're rescuing Teyla."

Lisstha thanked the man they'd left on guard at the door and pushed it open to go quietly inside to see Miran.

He sat up as soon as he saw her.

"Lisstha," he said her name with such emotion that she almost lost her resolve for what she came to tell him.

"Miran, you should not have spoken as you did," she said as he took her hands in his own.

"Someone had to," he told her, kissing her softly in greeting.

"This isn't the time.  It isn't right."

"Lisstha, listen to me."

"No, Miran, it is you who must listen to me."  She let go of his hands and walked away from him a little way.  "I am willing to make this sacrifice to keep my family and friends safe.  After I am gone you will be needed in the village."

He huffed in disbelief.  "They would be happy to be rid of me."

"They would be foolish to be rid of you," Lisstha corrected him.  "The village needs the strength that is in your blood if it is to survive."

"Survive for what?" he spat.  His voice was heavy with scorn.  "So that future generations can be stolen away just as they're taking you."  He sighed and said, "Don't be a part of this, Lisstha, please."

"There is no other thing to do, Miran."  She shook her head and turned to face him again, "I want you to promise something to me.  I want you to—"

"Don't even think that I'd take another than you."

"But you have to, don't you see?" she told him.  "I told you the village needs your strength and the only way for that is for you to bring children."

"No, Lisstha, listen," he said, "I won't let you go to this end, can't you see that?  The angel that came, he told me what will happen.  The journey does not end with the Haradians.  You will be taken from them to a terrible servitude.  A servitude to which all of the others have gone before, and there is no chance of return.  The moment you cease to please those that would master you, you will die a horrible, painful death at their hands."

"You're wrong," she said, but wrapped her arms around herself in fear of his words.  He had never lied to her before, why would he now, when there was so much to be said between them in so little time?  "I know that you love me, and you wish to change my mind, but—"

"It is the truth.  The angel told me—"

"You should be careful, Miran.  Heed the words that have already been told to you.  This may be no angel, but a demon sent to lead us all astray – or the servant of demons here to test our faith in what has always been."  She came to him and gripped his hands again, tightly in her own.  "This sacrifice is the only way to keep our people safe from the wrath of the Haradians.  Please… I do not wish to spend this time in strife with you.  I did not come to argue.  I just…" her voice cracked slightly, "I just wanted to see you one last time."

"It does not have to be a last time," he insisted, "Only trust me."

"Trust the voice of this 'angel' you say you have seen," she pulled her hands from his.  "No, Miran, not even for our love will I risk the safety of my people."  She blinked back the tears that gathered in her eyes.  "If you cannot see the foolishness of your words and deeds, then you are too blinded by the obsession of keeping me at your side.  You cannot call it love unless you can let me go."

She turned from him and started toward the door.  Desperately he called after her.  Blinded by her tears, she forced herself to keep on moving.  She could not go to him now – it would break her resolve, and she could not allow herself to be responsible for the destruction of her village, no matter how deep her fear, or how much she wanted, truly wanted, to stay with Miran.

She closed the door on his desperate cries of her name; leaned against its smooth surface and let out the sob that had gathered in her chest.

"Goodbye, my love," she whispered.

It was a scene not unlike he had seen before on more than one occasion, only this time it carried a bitter air of finality.  He stepped further into the corridor where the Athosians were piling their belongings ready to take them to the gate room.

"Halling," he called out to the man who had assumed the mantle of leadership.  "Hold on."

"Colonel Sheppard," Halling said as he straightened up from checking on a number of cartons and boxes.  "I know why you are here, and believe me, I understand the gesture, but my mind, and that of my fellow Athosians, is made up."

"Woolsey doesn't know what he's doing," Sheppard said, with an urgency infusing his usual lazy tones.  "He's talking out of his ass."

"He is your leader, John Sheppard," Halling argued, "and even if you refuse to see it, I believe, he knows exactly your government's agenda."

"You—"

"How many times must we see it; be subjected to it before you too see as I see now.  We have never truly been trusted, nor fully welcomed among your people."

"That's not true," Sheppard protested, the hurt clear in his voice, "there are no other people I'd rather have at my side."

Halling smiled, just a little.  It was a sad smile, but genuine as he reached out and put a hand onto Sheppard's shoulder.

"I know that is true of you, John," he said softly, "but I am not speaking of you alone.  I speak of your leaders and your military."  He sighed as he continued, "This may be difficult for you to hear, Colonel, but there were several occasions when Teyla came, upset, to seek my counsel; when she would have left Atlantis to return to her people because of the things she felt, and the things that were said to her, and of her."

"Isolated individuals," Sheppard tried to argue, but Halling shook his head, stopping the words from finding their way from his lips.

"Not so, and well you know it," Halling said, then he sighed again, "It is no reflection on you personally that I choose to lead my people away now.  Only it is the way it must be.  If we Athosians were to stay in Atlantis now, we would have no more freedom than we had when we were prisoners of the one you call Michael."

"Halling—"

"Hear me in full, my friend, please," Halling held up his hand to stop him from saying anything more.  "The one thing that kept us all from falling from our fear when we were captives was the certainty that Teyla would find some way to come to us in rescue.  I know her.  The thing that must sustain her through her own trials is the knowledge that we will do the same."

"We're going to find her," Sheppard interrupted.  "I told Woolsey—"

"I am certain you did," Halling nodded, "but my decision must stand, Colonel Sheppard.  Until Teyla's return to us, I must lead these people – what few we are – and my first responsibility is to their safety and comfort, both of body and spirit."

Sheppard sighed as he saw the resolute expression on Halling's face.  "Where will you go?" he asked.

"Doctor McKay has located a suitable world for us to build our settlement."

"McKay—" Sheppard blustered, feeling a rush of antagonism toward his fellow team member at what he considered a betrayal.

Halling nodded.  "Right after he and I had this self same argument that you and I now share."  He sighed.  "Sheppard, I know that you, and Doctor McKay, and even Ronon would argue the same for us to remain behind on Atlantis, but it just cannot be.  We must find our own place in the galaxy once more… and we must find Teyla and bring her home to us."

It was long after dusk before Lisstha returned to her home.  She had spent the time walking alone among her people, settling her grief and her fear.  He parents and her brother were waiting for her, but she waved them away, still wanting solitude.

"I must rest," she told them softly.  "I have a long journey ahead of me."

"Of course," her father said softly, and kissed her brow before letting her go to her room at the very rear of the long rectangular home.  She walked the corridor slowly, her legs tired, as heavy as if they were made of stone.  All of her limbs felt the same, as if walking away from Miran's love had somehow taken all of her strength.  Lethargically, she pushed open the door and went inside, not bothering to push it closed behind her.  She knew her family well and trusted their respect of her to keep them from following.

When the voice came from behind her as she entered the room, she froze.

"If it were not so tragic and unnecessary, you could say almost that it was an act of heroism."  She heard the door close behind her as the voice spoke again.  "Please do not do anything so foolish as to cry out or draw attention to my presence.  That would make this all the more of a tragedy."

"Who are you?" she demanded, spinning round to face the intruder.

"Miran told you already who I am."  A figure stepped from the shadows behind the door.  A man… he tilted his head to regard her.  Miran's angel…

She knew the stories of the supernatural beings that were called angels among her people.  She squinted at the one she saw standing framed by her door though half in shadow.  Tall he was, certainly, and the half-light on his face lent him an otherworldly appearance, as did the pale quality of his eyes, but in spite of the strange markings she could see on the lighted side of his cheek, she would not have described him as at all reptilian in appearance as the legends of her people insisted.

"An angel would not counsel actions that would bring the wrath of the Haradians down on my village," she said defiantly.

He turned his head to the side, tilting it to regard her coolly.  "I counsel salvation," he said.  "The Haradians would take you from your village to give you in payment for their own freedom to ones far more insidious than the Haradia themselves.  It is your journey's end that you should fear."

"I do not fear it because I know it will keep my people safe."

The 'angel' walked toward her, a cat stalking his prey and as he came into the light, even though each of her nerves and senses screamed at her to back away, her defiant resolve made her stand in place; accept his touch as he ran his fingertips over her face.

"So naïve," he said quietly, "for all these years your Haradian masters have kept from you, by their own servitude, the most fearful of terrors and you do not even know…" he shook his head then.  "Such a shame it cannot continue."

"What do you mean?" she asked, stepping back in fear of his words.

"I must take you from here," he told her, sounding almost regretful, "If your people will not willingly comply with what must be, then I must ensure that it will occur by any other means."

"No," she said, beginning to look around her in panic for a way to escape him.  "I will not allow you to do this."

"You have no choice," he said.  He raised his hand toward her, and she saw he carried a weapon not unlike the ones the Haradian guards, that came with the Hag, carried.  She had no time to make sense of the fact, for in the next moment a tingling heat spread through her body, enveloping every inch of her skin, pricking every nerve with intense sensation until her flailing senses could stand no more, and shrouded her in the comfort of oblivion.

The last thing she saw brought a scream, that never found escape, bubbling from deep inside her … the bloodied, severed head of the man she loved.

The last thing she expected was to see anyone with Major Lorne when she did her late evening rounds.  It was for that reason that the small yelp escaped her as she opened the door of the isolation room in which Colonel Carter had suggested it would be safer to keep him, and not the 'who' of the figure standing at the bedside watching the steady pulse pass across the monitors.  Nor the two armed guards who stood flanking the door through which she'd entered.

"Doctor Keller," Woolsey greeted her.

"Mister Woolsey," she said trying not to sound panicked.  "What are you doing here?"

"Playing a hunch," he said mildly.

"I think maybe you shouldn't be here," Jennifer said, trying to sound official.

"I think I'm maybe ready for some answers now, Doctor," he said, the mildness becoming harsher, almost clipped.

"I don't know what you mean," she said and tried to move around him to check the flow of the drip, and the readings from the monitor, as well as make a visual examination of the Major.

"I'm neither blind, nor stupid, Doctor Keller.  I know there's something going on, and looking at Major Lorne's appearance I believe I could make a pretty safe guess as to what that something is.  Now either you start to provide me with some information or you will be leaving on the Daedalus when she returns to Earth."  He caught hold of her arm and signaled to the soldiers, who began to step forward.  "Which is it to be, Doctor?"

Jennifer sighed, "I'm following standing orders, Mister Woolsey, to say nothing."

"That's most admirable, I'm sure," he said without letting go, "but my command supersedes any orders given by my predecessor and I'm telling you that I want to know what's going on here."

Jennifer snatched her arm from his grasp and massaged the flesh where his fingers had dug in.  She glared at the soldiers, until Woolsey signaled to them to step away again.  Then she answered, "When he was a captive, Major Lorne was exposed to Michael's retrovirus."

"What!" Woolsey exclaimed as though it had been at the same time both his greatest fear and also the furthest thing from his mind.  "Do you mean to tell me that he's going to turn into one of those… things… one of Michael's zombies?"

"I wouldn't put it exactly like that," she said.

"Then how would you put it, Doctor?" Woolsey frowned deeply as he gingerly leaned forward to look more closely at the Major.  "His presence in this state compromises the security of this base.  Exactly when were you going to tell me?"

"I wasn't," she snapped, finally tiring of his officious threats, "it was a medical decision, and with the standing orders I'd been given I was to report only to Colonel Sheppard if and when the situation became unmanageable."

"This is mutiny!"

"This is the Hippocratic Oath, Mister Woolsey, because I'm certain that the next words out of your mouth are going to be some form of order that will threaten the life of my patient."

"How dare you!" Woolsey blustered.

"Contradict me then," she said.  "Prove to me that I'm wrong, and that you're not about to suggest that having Major Lorne around here threatens the safety of Atlantis," she fixed a mock surprised expression on her face and continued, "Oh wait, you can't… didn't you just say that only a moment ago?"

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Doctor Keller," Woolsey said angrily, "nor does it address the issue."

"Which is what?" she demanded. "That you're going to have your goons bundle me up and ship me back to Earth?"

"Which is keeping someone around who's turning into… into…"

"A hybrid, Mister Woolsey," Jennifer said, tired also of dancing around the issue.  "Major Lorne was exposed to Michael's retrovirus and he's turning into a hybrid.  And whilst I'd be the last to try and defend Michael, it's my medical opinion that, in giving him the drug, Michael may well have saved his life."

"What do you mean?" Woolsey asked, momentarily disarmed.

"Everything that Doctor McKay told me, and the report from the medics aboard Daedalus that rescued him from Michael's cruiser, suggest that without the retrovirus, there's no way the Major would have survived the crushing injuries he suffered in the collapse of the compound."

"But…" Woolsey appeared to consider her words and was confused by them, but only for a moment before he said, "but what are we going to do?"

"Do, Mister Woolsey?"

"Well, we can't leave him here like this."

"What do you suggest," she snapped, "that we lock him up?  He still needs medical attention even though he's not in danger from his injuries any longer, his body's undergoing massive trauma.  His DNA is literally being rewritten.  Even now it's possible that the shock of that could kill him."

"There must be something you can do," Woolsey said, "some way to stop this."

"I've already been administering the strongest NTRI drugs that we currently possess, but they did little to slow the progress of the drug.  A few days ago, I added in a small quantity of the original retrovirus that Doctor Beckett created, but—"

"Doctor Keller," Woolsey interrupted, "unlike my predecessor I'm neither a scientist nor have I a grasp of medical knowledge."

"I've been giving the major drugs that were specifically designed to combat infection by retroviruses, like AIDS."  She paused to watch understanding pass over Woolsey's face, "They don't work on Michael's retrovirus.  Doctor Beckett's retrovirus was a little bit more successful – at least at first."

"What do you mean?" Woolsey asked again.

"Carson created the drug to suppress the Wraith aspects of the DNA present in the Iratus bug from which our best information leads us to believe the Wraith evolved.  Michael's retrovirus, from what I've been able to ascertain, imposes Wraith DNA onto the human genome.  At first the two almost balanced each other out."

"But not any more?" Woolsey asked.

Jennifer shook her head, "Over time, it's almost as if Michael's retrovirus adapted to the presence of Beckett's and the changes started again.  I'm still trying to find a solution, but as fast as I find something that works, even for a short time, the retrovirus adapts."  She sighed, "besides which, genetics is not exactly my specialty."

"Perhaps Doctor Beckett—"

"No," she said, "I already considered that, and the risk of awakening Carson is unacceptable.  I doubt he'd survive and I'm not prepared to have that on my conscience."

"But—"

"If we found a way to get our hands on some of the serum that Michael was injecting into Doctor Beckett, then perhaps I'd consider it, but… since you won't authorize any further action against Michael then that's out of the question.  So… Major Lorne will have to make do with my efforts… and I remind you that he's my patient, and therefore outside of your jurisdiction – unless of course you plan on making good on that threat of removing me as head of the Medical Division of this expedition?"

"God knows I should!" Woolsey exploded.  "For your sheer insubordination toward me, but the irritating truth of the matter is that technically, since you were following standing orders, you've done nothing wrong.  But keeping him here, this is insanity, doctor."

"This is defending the rights of my patient, Mister Woolsey, a member of the team.  Didn't you say we needed to prioritize, and defend the Atlantis expedition?"

"Don't quote my own words back at me, Doctor Keller," Woolsey said angrily.

"How can I not?" she exclaimed in frustration.  "Since the moment you stepped foot on this base you've been singularly unreasonable, and you haven't got a clue what's going on in the Pegasus galaxy or how best to deal with it.  You won't listen to your advisors, and you alienate those with whom we've spent years building relationships.  You can't keep on riding roughshod over everything that's gone before.  If you want to be the commander of this expedition then you've got to earn the respect, not expect it just because of your position."

"Are you done?" Woolsey asked her.  She threw up her hands and turned to leave the room, eager to get away from the annoying little weasel she saw in him.

"Doctor Keller?" his voice halted her steps in the doorway, and she turned to face him.

"What?"

"How long?"

"Hmm?" she frowned, momentarily confused.

"How long before the transformation is complete?" he asked, nodding toward Major Lorne.

She shook her head, "I don't know.  It could be a matter of days, it could be longer.  Why?"

"I think," he started and nodding toward the two soldiers said, "for the sake of safety, I'd like to post those guards on the isolation room – if that's all right with you."

"He's unconscious, Mister Woolsey," she said with another sigh.

"For now, yes," he agreed, "but what happens when he wakes up?"

Smoke curled skyward from another of the ruined buildings and the sound of weeping interrupted the nightly singing of the insects that lived among the trees and bushes of the village.  For the third night since the disappearance of the murderess, Lisstha, the Haradia had come with their weapons and with fire to destroy the buildings and force the villagers to flee the solid protection they afforded.

Remnants of families wandered aimlessly among the ruins, searching for possessions or for family members they feared taken by the Haradian men that had come in force to take their youth and the promise of their future.

"Damn her!" one of the village husbands, clinging tightly to what was left of his family, spat into the dirt where those who had so far survived injury gathered to discuss what they might do in their defence.  "She brought this on us."

"And she is gone," one of the remaining elders shook his head, "it serves us little cursing her existence.  We must decide what we should do now.  We have tried fighting the Haradians, and we have tried offering them no resistance.  The outcome is the same.  It seems they wish to reduce us to ruin."

"And then what?" one of the women sobbed.  "The menfolk all hurt, the young men and women taken... what will become of us?"

"I do not think we have a choice," Ynek spoke up, holding his infant daughter close, "We must take a chance on what Miran said, and use the mystical box to send for help against the Haradians."

"Miran is dead," the elder pointed out to him, "And the secret of which of the symbols would summon this help is gone from us."

"Not so," Ynek admitted quietly.  "Before he came to you all with the news of his visitation, he came to me and told me of it.  I tried to dissuade him from speaking, but he was unswayed – and it has cost him his life.  As his friend, I must honor his memory, and if his mad visions can bring us even a little hope against our destruction, I say we follow his advice… and do as he urged us.

"But what if—"

"The time for 'what if' has passed, Elder Gramm," he said respectfully.  "I believe it is the only way."

"And you will do this?" The elder asked, nodding slightly.  "It will be a risk.  To do so you must travel toward the Haradians."

"I know." He sighed, and handed his child to one of the others, before taking from his pouch the small box that had once belonged to Miran.  "But I believe we have no choice."

"Then go with our blessing, Ynek, in this desperate hour… and let us hope that Miran's angel was just that… and not some demon to lead us astray."

"What can be worse than that which we now suffer?" Ynek asked softly, before he turned and made his way out into the darkness, toward where the Ring of the Ancestors stood.

Halling looked up from sharpening his weapon as the flap that made the doorway of his hastily constructed home rustled and then lifted aside.  Jinto entered, looking behind him as though he was suddenly afraid of the night.

"I did it, father," he said.  "Marida's mother said that she will pass the word.  The men and fighting women will gather at the central fire as soon as the homes are completed."

"Thank you, Jinto.  You are a good son to me."

"Father?"

"Yes?"

"May I go with you?"

Halling shook his head, "You are among the few I would trust to stay and defend the village, my son.  I cannot allow you to come."

"You do not think me capable—" Jinto began to argue.

"On the contrary," Halling said quietly, smiling at his son proudly, "if there were no need to protect those we leave behind, I would gladly have you at my side, and Teyla also would be happy to have been delivered by Jinto, son of Halling, but there are those too young to travel with us, and some with child – and we are so few in number that we must protect them all.  So I will call upon you to stay and guard them."

Jinto sighed, and threw himself into his seat beside the fire.  "I suppose," he said, sulkily.  "Perhaps we should have stayed with Colonel Sheppard.  Then I could have fought at your side."

"No, my son," Halling reached over and ruffled his hair, "it is time for the Athosian people to decide their own destiny and not to blindly follow those that walk in the place of the Ancestors without their wisdom."

"When will you leave?" Jinto asked, leaning against his father a little.  "And where will you go to begin the search for her?  How will you find where Michael has her captive?"

"Tonight, I do not know," Halling answered, "but in the morning, I will trust what comes to me as I sleep.  It is what Teyla would do."

Jinto nodded, and then added, "And I will keep the village safe for when you all return."

"I know you will, my son," Halling cupped his son's face between the palms of his hands, and lowered his forehead to Jinto's.  "I know."

Sheppard leaned against the desk, arms folded, listening again to the message that had come into Atlantis from the relay station.

"…and we need your help.  They come nightly… destroy our homes, take our children, our youths… please… if you can hear us… we need your help."

"It has to be some kind of trap," McKay said, frowning deeply, "I mean… how would they know – M3X-667 – we've never had any contact with them, not even the Athosians as far as I recall."

"That is the relay station we told Todd to use to contact us." Ronon nodded agreement with McKay.

"For all we know they could be a bunch of Wraith worshippers just waiting to sell us out to the highest bidder, and by that I mean…" McKay made a sucking motion with his hand slightly outstretched.

Sheppard shook his head, "I can't explain it," he said, "But something about this feels… genuine…"

"Why?" Woolsey asked, clearly still angry from everything he'd discovered, "I have to admit I rather agree with Doctor McKay, as strange as that might sound."

"Thanks," McKay said sarcastically.

"Because…" Sheppard began, not even sure of what he was about to say.  "… I mean… if they'd have said it was the Wraith that were attacking, sure, I would agree too, but they don't.  They're under attack by another bunch of people, what do they call them?"

"Haradians," McKay supplied the answer and then looked over toward Ronon.  "Anything?"

Ronon shook his head, "No one I've ever heard of," he said.

"Look," Sheppard cut the air with the side of his hand.  "Who they are, and what their agenda, is irrelevant.  They know we're here and they've asked for our help.  So we should—"

"I disagree," Woolsey said.

"There's a surprise," Sheppard said sarcastically.  He turned to Woolsey.  "We have a certain responsibility to the people of this galaxy and—"

"While we're standing around here arguing about it," McKay cut in, sighing, "nothing is getting done, either here or elsewhere.  There has to be some way we can find out more without committing ourselves too deeply."

"What do you suggest, Doctor?" Woolsey asked.

"What if we send in a small reconnaissance team, while we," he indicated himself, Ronon and Sheppard, "contact some of the people we know to see if they can tell us more about the Haradians."

Sheppard pointed at Rodney, nodding.  "I can go with that," he raised an eyebrow at Woolsey in question.

Woolsey sighed.  "Very well, but I want to note for the record that I'm not entirely happy about it."

"Noted," Sheppard said, sarcastically, "and for what it's worth—"

"It's worth very little, Colonel Sheppard," Woolsey said before he could even finish the sentence, "Nothing that anyone has said today has changed my opinion in the slightest on what our priorities here should be.  I'll be in my quarters when you find something."

Sheppard sighed as he watched the man leave.  "God!" he exploded once Woolsey was out of sight.

"Well you have undermined his authority in just about everything today," McKay said with a shrug.  "How do you expect him to behave?"

"You think this has something to do with Michael, don't you?" Ronon asked, preventing Sheppard from answering that he expected Woolsey to pass the stick that was currently up his ass and start behaving like someone who could command the Atlantis expedition sensibly.

"I can't explain it," Sheppard answered.  "But there's something about this whole thing—"

"Or maybe you're seeing what you want to see," McKay said, with a tone of regret.  "Much as I hate to say this, we have to consider the possibility that we might never catch up to Michael, and find Teyla."

"No," Sheppard said vehemently.  "I refuse to accept that."  Without another word, he slapped Ronon's arm and indicated the gate room with his head.

The commander of Bravo team straightened from his firing position as the last of the aggressors fled from the village.

"Bravo team, stand down," he ordered and watched as the rest of his men lowered their P90s and looked around them.

Slowly… timidly, from within the remains of the houses came movement as the villagers began to show themselves.

"Ynek," the commander called softly, "We're looking for Ynek.  You called for us…"

One of the shadows moved and resolved itself into a grizzled looking man who had obviously seen battle in recent days.  His shoulder was bandaged, and an open wound on the side of his chin was reddening with the promise of infection.

"I am Ynek," he said.  "You are those who came from beyond the Ancestors' Ring?"

"We heard your call for help, yes.  I'm Captain Warsh.  The leaders of my expedition sent me here to find more information, so that we can assess how best to help you."

"Well, you have seen first hand what we face, as I described with the mystic box," Ynek said.  "Those men come nightly to drive us from what little protection our shelters afford us; to punish us for not sending to them the one chosen by the Hag."

"I think maybe you'd better start at the beginning," Warsh said quietly.  "You were supposed to send someone to them?  Who are these people?"

"I'm not asking for more than two or three men at most," Sheppard tried very hard not to raise his voice as Woolsey once again denied his request.

"The Athosians chose to leave Atlantis, Colonel Sheppard," Woolsey repeated with a complacency that gnawed at Sheppard's guts.  "No one said they had to leave.  Halling made it perfectly clear that he didn't want our alliance to continue.  I can't justify sending soldiers, who could be construed as an invading force, into what is now Athosian territory."

"The settlement is unprotected," Sheppard ran a hand through his hair and spun around to face the base commander.  He was certain he was being deliberately difficult in order to make a point, only he couldn't figure out just what that point might be.

"You said that Halling's son, and some of his companions remained behind to defend the settlement."

"He's a child," Sheppard moaned, through clenched teeth.

"My understanding is that Jinto is more than capable," Woolsey countered, and went on to add, "besides which, as I have already pointed out, our priorities now must lie with the defence of this base from the very real threats that exist in this galaxy."

"Threats that aren't going to leave the Athosians alone just because they try to distance themselves from your prejudice and the prejudice of men like you!"

"There's no need to get personal, Colonel," Woolsey said, "I'm certain that Jinto knows how to contact us, should the need arise."

"Should the need arise, it will already be too la—"

The Gate activation alarm cut Sheppard off mid-word and after another moment or two of treating Woolsey to a look that would have withered many a man in his tracks, but failed entirely to even penetrate the shield of ignorance surrounding the new base commander, followed the other man from the briefing room to the control room, where the gate technician was already checking for the presence of an IDC.

"It's Captain Warsh's team," he announced.

"Lower the shield," Woolsey commanded.  "Let's see what the Captain managed to discover about our mysterious cry for help."

Woolsey treated Sheppard to a look of smug sarcasm before he turned to look out over the balcony and down into the Gate Room.  As he did so, the self satisfied look faded from his face, to be replaced by a shocked expression of disbelief.  The four man team of marines stepped from the event horizon, and then turned to usher the first of a ragged and somewhat dirty group of refugees, mainly older men and women, into the rapidly filling Gate Room.

"This is kind of familiar," Sheppard said almost cheerily as he watched the newcomers looking around them, awe and more than a little fear showing on their faces.

"What… what is the meaning of this?" Woolsey demanded as he stepped closer to the railing to address Captain Warsh.

"That wasn't very diplomatic," Sheppard said, heading for the stairs down to the floor, merely a step or two ahead of Woolsey.

"Captain Warsh?" Woolsey persisted in trying to get a report from the commander of Bravo team.

"Mister Woolsey," Warsh said urgently, "Colonel… I know this isn't exactly protocol, but I didn't feel I had any choice."

"Go on?" Sheppard prompted, feeling more than a little satisfied with the way this had begun to play out.

Warsh nodded, and to both men, ushering one of the refugees to come forward, said, "This is Ynek.  I really think you need to hear what he has to say."

[dorthrakidex]

Day 5: "That's gonna scar"

Once again, it was the Tuesday that was Sheppard's undoing. Although this time it wasn't because Rodney touched something he wasn't supposed to, it wasn't angry natives or people after John's genes. It was a simple thunder storm that was his undoing. Being that they were in Pegasus, If John learned nothing it was that things were never simple.

John and Ronon were sent to check out the planet. There was very little known in the database about MKT-008 other than it was uninhabited. Elizabeth had sent them on a simple 'check it out' milk run of a mission, that was why there was only John and Ronon. She was no idiot, she knew that those two were kind of seeing each other, at the very least they were testing the waters. So she figured that they could use the time alone with prying eyes.

When the thunder itself had started, John really hadn't thought very much of it. He had been om plenty of planets where there was thunder that never amounted to anything. This wasn't one of those times. He noticed Ronon was eyeing the sky suspiciously. “What is it big guy?”

Ronon spoke without removing his eyes from the sky. “I was on a planet like this once. There's a reason why there are no people and no animals. Listen closely Sheppard. What do you hear?”

John closed his eyes and listened, just to realize that his companion was right. There was absolutely no noise. Only the wind through the trees and the rumble of thunder that sounded as though it was getting closer. “I think we should try to find a cave. Wait out the storm.” John hated waited in caves, they were always damp and somehow always managed to remind him of all the times he has found himself in primitive jail cells. But they really didn't have a choice.

“I thought that saw one back that way.” Ronon hooked his thumb in the direction they had just came from. John huffed, they were going to have to go backwards. Just great. By the time they get to the cave the thunder is so loud they don't even bother trying to talk to each other. The bright bolts of lightening in the sky make Sheppard nervous, he was so busy watching the bolts that he didn't see the tree root that he tripped over. He yelled loud enough that Ronon heard it over the thunder.

Ronon had been leading the way, so when he turned around when Sheppard yelled, it was just in time to see Sheppard slide down the ravine and over the edge of the cliff. Ronon was quick to act, he ran toward Sheppard and was just in time to grab his hand. He pulled him up by the wrist, knowing that the rain would be making their hands slippery. He got Sheppard up, who was bleeding quite badly from a gash in his forehead. Ronon picked him up and carried him the rest of the way, he knew that John would be disorientated and that would slow them down.

Once in the cave, Ronon started a small fire, thankful for the opening of the cave and the over hang that protected them from the worst of the wind and rain. After the fire was started, he went through John's vest and found the small first aid kit. He cleaned up John's face. He ended having to use the surgical glue and butterfly bandage to ensure that the bleeding had stopped. After he gave John two of the Ibuprofen, he sat back and eyed him wearily.

“I don't know how you did it but I cleaned as best as I could. I still think it's gonna scar.”

John uttered a humourless laugh. “It can join all the others.” He leaned back against the cave wall, enjoying the heat from the fire. He knew that he couldn't fall asleep, they had no idea if he had a concussion. They both stared at the fire as they waited out the rain. And once again, John swore that the next mission that had to happen on a Tuesday was Lorne's.

[stargatelover]

Oh my god 1,000% Ronon. I love when characters with zero knowledge of science are trapped in the loop and have to go to the science people and explain over and over again and learn it themselves in order to get out of the loop. Like Jack and Teal'c in "Window of Opportunity". Or the time loop episode of Eureka when Jack is trapped and has to turn an equation into a song in order to remember it. Or the time loop episode of Legends of Tomorrow when its Zari trapped.

Imagine Ronon being suck in the time loop. Imagine Ronon having to learn technobabble and recite it to Rodney over and over again. Imagine Ronon getting increasingly angry and annoyed and the ultimately angsty and giving up for a few loops. Ronon saving the day using science. Maybe it's the kind of time loop where he's stuck watching Atlantis explode or something where everyone dies and he's forced to watched his friend die every loop he fails. (I like angst).

I'm also just envisioning Ronon in the "Moon's haunted" meme and story that went around on here. Just comes in, grabs his gun, "Atlantis is haunted." And John just staring like "What?"

Anyways, Ronon Dex stuck in a time loop. Think about it.

[dedkake]

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

HMMM i'm not sure i think i'm a particularly funny writer, or maybe that humor just isn't something i spend a lot of time on while writing, so it's hard to remember for me. but BUT i do like to use repetition in ways that make me laugh. this exchange from my condemned it could've started like this comes to mind:

Sheppard glares at each of them, his gaze landing hot and angry on Rodney. The rational part of Rodney’s mind knows it’s a bad idea, but Rodney says it anyway. “I love you, you asshole.”

That stops everyone. They’re all staring at him now. It’s the kind of moment that Rodney used to dread, still dreads, somewhere deep in his subconscious, but in the moment, it’s not embarrassing at all. He’s pissed, anger pumping hot under his skin and he glares down his nose at Sheppard—who, for his part, looks suitably stunned.

“What?” Sheppard asks after a moment of utter silence. Good. He deserves the shock.

“He said he loves you, you asshole,” Ronon repeats, and Rodney thinks that might be the start of a smirk on his face, but he can’t be certain, not from this angle.

[goodwhump-temp]

Rodney McKay Whump - SG: Atlantis

1x03 Hide and Seek - First human trial (DNA manipulated), given a shot, pushed off a balcony, shot (in the leg/off-screen), "punched," verbally bullied, panicking, sacrifices himself, unconscious, sore 1x06 Childhoods End - Annoyed by children, held at arrow-point, exhausted 1x08 Underground - Captured & threatened by Bashirs best friend 1x09 Home - Stranded on earth, captured, unconscious, 1x10 The Storm - Held captive by the Genii, threatened, arm squeezed 1x11 The Eye - Hostage, thoroughly pissed 1x13 Hot Zone - In danger the whole episode, attacked by a vision ghost (schizophrenic), coping (emotional) 1x14 Sanctuary - argument with sheppard, didn't sleep, only person not in love with the fancy evil "priestess" 1x19 The Siege - Falls from a great height, "permanent back damage," offended, emotional (not about himself)

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

2x01 The Siege pt. 3 - Almost killed, forced to fight the wraith 2x02 The Intruder - Attacked by coolidge leak, scared by transport beam (is weird), sickened by Sheppards flying, attacked by wraith virus controlled ship 2x03 Runner - Captured/threatened by Ford, caught in a trap upside-down 2x04 Duet - Trapped inside Wraith dart, collapses, unconscious, hospitalized, another consciousness in his body; ego destroyer, angry, sore, fighting for body control, seizure, emotional, kisses Beckett, collapses 2x05 Condemned - shot down, chipped a tooth (?), captured, threatened 2x06 Trinity - Obsessive, makes Sheppard worry/pity, emotional 2x08 Conversion - Worried about Sheppard 2x10 Lost Boys - Kidnapped, threatened 2x11 The Hive - takes dose of wraith enzyme, passes out, goes through insane withdrawal, hospitalized, unconscious 2x14 Grace Under Pressure - Serious head injury, trapped hundreds of feet under water, hallucinating sam, cold and wet 2x17 Coup D'etat - Genii trap, collapses, captured

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

3x04 Sateda - Takes an arrow to the butt, immense pain, cared for 3x07 Common Ground - Scared by a mouse 3x08 McKay and Mrs. Miller - Alternate reality Rodney, emotional rollercoaster 3x09 Phantoms - Shot in the chest 3x12 Echoes - Worsening headache, nose bleed, passes out, deaf 3x14 Tao of Rodney - Hit by energy pulse (gene mutation), nervous, acting increasingly strange, insomnia, emotional, overstimulated headache, passes out, hospitalized, flatlines 3x16 The Ark - Almost sucked out into space 3x20 First Strike - Caught in explosion, visible face injury

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

4x02 Lifeline - Captured 4x03 Reunion - Attacked by wraith, alone, betrayed, shot unconscious, captured 4x04 Doppleganger - Faces greatest fear, flatlines/cardiac arrest, beaten up 4x06 Tabula Rasa - Deadly disease/lose memory, shot unconscious, running/hiding from militia 4x08 The Seer - sees vision of them getting captured 4x09 Millers Crossing - he and his sister kidnapped, threatened, great bonding with Sheppard 4x10 This Mortal Coil - Captured 4x12 Spoils of War - shot unconscious, captured, almost tortured 4x13 Quarantine - Panicking, ultimate pessimist --> causes his own heartbreak (how NOT to get a girl), L rizz 4x14 Harmony - Forced to guard a child, held at gunpoint 4x16 Trio - Falls, trapped in a cavern, in danger & panicks the whole episode 4x20 The Last Man - Old, depressing backstory, technically dead

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

5x01 Search and Rescue - Some face scratches, bleeding, panicks 5x02 The Seed - Panicking x100 5x03 Broken Ties - Captured 5x04 Daedalus Variations - Shot in the arm (worse than it sounds) 5x06 the shrine - Intense memory loss, serious pneumonia, coma, hospitalized, panicking/insanely emotional help infected, intense headache, surgery 5x08 The Queen - Captured 5x09 Tracker - Bonding with Ronon, chased and punched by a wraith, manhandled, sore, shot at 5x10 First Contact - Captured, sore 5x12 Outsiders - Captured 5x13 Inquisition - Knocked unconscious 5x16 Brain Storm - Freezing

[lightthewaybackhome]

It's slightly challenging to write one's thoughts about an episode that one kept falling asleep in. I drifted in and out, in and out.

The thing that finally clicked for me is Ronon. You know the first time through you're just along for the ride. The second time through, I was a bit befuddled by Ronon. He's aggressively angry. Okay, that's nothing really new, but he's aggressively angry at Sheppard. That's unusual. He's usually backing Sheppard all the way. Teyla and Rodney tend to serve more as the balance to Sheppard's own aggression. But in this episode, Ronon gets loud...for Ronon.

So, my click was that Ronon is deeply hurt by the massacre of the Taranin people. They risked everything to save these people and Michael just pops up and kills them. It would be bad enough to find the people you almost died saving murdered, but think about how angry you'd be if they were murdered by your failed science experiment. And think about if you had spoken out against it.

You don't really tell your friends, I told you so, because they're your friends and you have their back, but you are angry that the experiment went so wrong as to kill a whole group of people off.

Michael is such a fascinating character because he's a mirror reflecting back their mistake, their desperate choice, their wrong choice. I think they know they had to try to solve the Wraith problem, but they made a bad choice and now that choice is killing the very people they were trying to protect. Actions, regardless of intentions, have consequences and they're paying the price, which is always hard.

So, yeah, I get Ronon's anger and aggression in this episode now.

Also, I love Sheppard's exchange with Michael. I love that Sheppard's hand is so steady when he tells Michael that he has no problem killing him and that you can see Michael knows that's not an empty threat.

I love that they wrote a story where everything kinda went wrong with Michael. It's real. Things don't always work out. People speak past each other. People don't listen. People make assumptions. People forget to think about others. It's real.

[this-man-is-my-friend]

John: I will lay my life down for my friends. I'll lay my life down for strangers. I'll do it right now. I'm begging you to let me do it.

Rodney: These people? Just colleagues. But if you threaten to hurt them I will do anything inhumanly possible to save them. Including sacrificing myself. If I had to to. Not because I love them or anything.

Ronon: If you so much as look at my friends, I will stomp you to death with my hooves

Teyla: .....are you guys okay?