#angry feral rodent

[gortash-did-nothing-wrong]

Feral

Reader has a cat and Feyd isn't a fan. Or so he says.

When his betrothed moves to Giedi Prime, she brings many things with her. Clothing, of course. Bedding as well, apparently she has sensitive skin. Two ladies maids, as none of the Harkonnen servants knew how to style hair. And one thing that seemed entirely unnecessary to Feyd. A cat.

A horridly behaved, near feral Tom cat to be specific. He looked nothing like the well groomed pets noble ladies kept. His fur tended to look unkept and dirty. He had white fur on his belly, and whenever he slivered back inside of the palace after sneaking away for a few hours, his white belly fur looked grey from all the dirt.

Friz, the cat was called. Fitting, you would think, if you saw his crooked whiskers and the mats that tended to form behind his ears. His betrothed, Y/N, tried to keep him from matting too much by brushing his fur a bit each day. Y/N had told him once that, "Friz is just at that age where cats tend to get a bit lazy with their personal hygiene."

Friz got dirtier and dirtier every day until Y/N took to bathing him three times a week to keep him clean. She often returned from that task with angry red marks down her arms. Deep scratches that Feyd would grumble about as he disinfected them for her. "Can't you declaw that wretched thing? People are going to think I'm hurting you."

She chuckled, then winced at the sting of the disinfectant he spread on her cuts. "Not a chance. That's basically cutting off half of his toe. It gives them arthritis and makes them depressed."

Feyd grunted, choosing not to mention how the cat probably already had arthritis and was always angry.

Honestly, he didn't mind his wife having a pet, he really didn't. But one would think that the point of having a pet was to either train it to do a task, or for it to provide companionship. Feyd thought the point of cats was for them to kill rodents and cuddle up to their owners. But not only would Friz not cuddle, he barely let anyone ever touch him. Even Y/N.

If Friz wasn't in the mood to be touched, anyone trying to pet him would get bitten, clawed, and pissed on in that order. Feyd nearly wanted to kill the mangy thing when it pissed in his boots. But Y/N fretting over him and insisting on cleaning his boots for him, and even shining his boots for him cooked his temper. As did her kissing him afterwards.

Fritz was lucky the boots weren't new.

It wasn't until one day, when he and Y/N both fell ill with a pesky cold that confined them both to bed that he began to appreciate Friz.

The tomcat seemed to sense there was something wrong with them, and diligently prowled around their bed for half an hour before jumping up to join them. At first he hesitantly crouched near the foot of the bed, but cautiously made his way up to sit on Y\Ns chest. Feyd opened his mouth to make a joke about Friz preparing to eat them, but was cut off by the shocking sound of purring. The grumpy old crusty cat was purring!

Feyd's amazement only increased when Friz eventually migrated to lay on his chest, kneading at his flym filled chest with his grubby paws in a comforting pattern and purring.

Feyd cautiously lifted his hand, barely touching Friz before the cat sank his teeth into Feyd's hand.

Feyd coughed while Y/N laughed. "He's all business today, no petting allowed."

Feyd smiled, despite himself. The purring was nice. A soothing rhythm that had him on the edge of sleep, sinking into it's embrace in no time at all.

Maybe he could come to appreciate the feral beast.

[lolotheparagon]

Rating Every TNBA Redesign Cos Why Not

The New Batman Adventures was the last season of the infamous Batman the Animated Series, although it moved to another less strict network. Because the producers wanted to do crossovers with the Superman animated series, they gave the series and its characters a more streamlined style to it. Now I dont wanna blame Bruce Timm entirely since there were many artists on staff back then who did the redesigns but because I hate this coomer, Im going to anyway. In BTAS, you can tell each character apart and they have their own unique outfits and looks to them. But here, these are some of the most unimaginative superhero/villain designs Ive ever seen. Although some did surprise me and were not that bad. So, for a bit of fun, here's my look at each Batman character's redesign in the final (and worst) season of the show.

(Not counting Robin cos he's a different character to Dick Grayson or characters that had very little changes like Clayface or Harley Quinn)

Batman

The big emo rodent himself. For his redesign, I like the more sleek look to Batman's cape...thats it. His original design is really hard to perfect. Its got everything. Why tamper with perfection?

Batgirl

I actually kinda like Batgirl's redesign. The yellow gloves and boots really help her stand out and its the one of the few times the darker toned outfits actually accentuate a design rather than ruin it. Too bad Bruce Timm couldn't stop salivating over her and the rest of the women in this show. So next time you see someone consider Bruce Timm this legendary storyteller of Batman, give them a healthy reminder that he shipped this college girl character with her mentor/surrogate uncle figure FOR YEARS.

Alfred

Its like they sucked away all of Alfred's snark and replaced it with a cardboard cutout. Literally, he looks so sterile and empty. Who had the idea of making Alfred look more bored and done with everything? Also whats wrong with his chin??

Commissioner Gordon

Good ole Commissioner Pringle got off pretty much unscathed but I think they made him a touch too old considering they gave him a more lanky body, which makes him look more feeble and weak. Dude looks old enough to be Babs' grandad

Joker

Ohhhhh boy. So Joker's redesign is infamously considered by fans as one of the show's worst redesigns, to a point even the showrunners were like yeahh. And thats not unwarranted. He looks like an inverted Dr Draken and im so glad they redesigned him again for Batman Beyond and onward.

Seriously he's A CLOWN WHERES THE MAKE UP?!!

Two-Face

I know Two Face is just a redrawn version of the original design with the TNBA streamlined art style but I want to draw special attention to the monster side of Dent's face. Notice in the original it looks more manic and feral? Heavily contrasted with the conflicted, guilty look on Dent's normal side? But here, in the redesign the monster side is less scary and Dent looks way too bored and angry. The overuse of black lines doesnt help.

Catwoman

She looks like Harley Quinn or Barbara wearing a catsuit. Starting to see a pattern here?

Baby Doll

Its a tough call cos they both look very good but Im gonna lean towards the redesign cos shes got that creepy doll look down to a T (Annabelle would be proud) whereas her original design looked more like a Tiny Toons character.

Scarface and the Ventriloquist

I like the redesign cos of the exaggerated style of the rest of the show perfectly captures Scarface since he's, yknow, a puppet and having the Ventriloquist be shown to be scared and submissive really does show how the puppet is ironically the puppetmaster.

Penguin

Actually I like both of them. They both give off that sophisticated element Penguin is known for and after so many reiterations of him being this crass Scouse-talking crime boss, its nice to see versions of him going back to his rich asshole roots.

Bane

In the original, he has a luchador-style mask and wrestling suit fitting his Spanish roots. Here, he straight up looks like a gimp. Its really bad. Embrace your heritage, Bane!

Riddler

They went from Frank Gorshin to Jim Carrey for Riddler (fitting cos Batman Forever came during TNBA's development) and I love that. So I love both of them. Nice to see a villain with some fucking colour in TNBA cos im tired of seeing all this black outfits. Also his cane being an extended question mark instead of a question mark on top of a regular cane is genius.

Mad Hatter

Both of them fit Hatter's deranged stalker vibes perfectly, but I wish they kept the colour scheme for the redesign cos Hatter's new colour scheme looks too rounded and doesnt stand out.

Poison Ivy

Killer Croc

Finally, now he looks like an actual crocodile instead of whatever the hell he was supposed to be!

Scarecrow

Okay, who the fuck decided to make Scarecrow look like the Babadook? Cos I want to give them a raise. Holy mother of piss, that is terrifying. That shit belongs in the Arkham games. I still prefer the old design cos it has that perfect blend of goofy and gothic. He looks like a Cacturne now that I think about it.

Mr Freeze

HONEY WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?!! WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING FUTURAMA HEAD?!! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?! YOU HURT MY HUSBAND, TIMM, NOW ITS PERSONAL

[pastanest]

A/N: if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post.

Brienne x gender neutral!reader

Brienne x short!S/O

- so given that in the show Brienne is a staggering 6’3, the majority of the population will be dwarfed by her unless they have some giant’s blood

- however, people who are already deemed short by the rest of the world (dont bother standing up, we wont be seen ✌🏻😔), are PARTICULARLY short in comparison to Lady Brienne of Tarth

- while Brienne makes a point to not judge people on their physical appearances, as so many have done so harshly to her, she does notice your height or lackthereof

- and as much as she tries her hardest to not make any assumptions about you, she cannot help the natural protective instinct through which she views you as maybe just a little more fragile than she is

- but she would never tell you that

- until you are married or something probably

- Brienne has never spent so much time so close with someone of your stature and she admires the ways in which you have adapted the world around you to meet your needs. your ability to climb and reach things that she can grab with minimal effort, the length of time you can spend on your tiptoes to see over things that are in your way, how quickly you can find a solution to the problems your height presents to you

- she admires your resilience and finds it very endearing, she could watch you climb things all day if it werent for her instinctive response of grabbing whatever you need to prevent the risk of you falling a single inch life or death to you let’s be real

- while out with her and Podrick, with an established friendship, Pod jokes about how different your view of the world must be from Brienne’s and that you should get on her shoulders to see the world on a whole new level

- and Brienne is so game bc tysm Podrick for giving her an excuse to lift you up tytyty she is forever in your debt and will never snap at you ever again

- she is so gentle when she does lift you up, acutely aware of how big her hands are on your body as she places you on a high enough tree stump for you to then climb on her shoulders

- you are literally up there for 4 seconds before your fear of heights kicks in and you are begging to be back on ground level lol

- and Brienne is all 🥺🥺🥺 omg did not mean to scare u bb

- but then you express how beautiful the world must be to her, seeing so much of it like she can all the time, and that every time you look at her you’ll remember the glimpse you got into her world and needless to say she is just IN LOVE

- but let’s not get it twisted, just because you’re short DOES NOT MEAN you will not go feral if someone tries to hurt Brienne with words or violence

- you’ll go ham in your own way. like an angry rodent

- and it doesnt matter that 99% of the time Brienne grabs you before you can commit any crimes and you are left a flailing ball of small limbs in her arms that are barely even trying to hold you back, it’s the sentiment

- as the two of you get closer, Brienne only grows more protective of you

- and if you think she’ll tolerate other people making jokes at the expense of your height, you’d probably better check the pile of bodies with sword-shaped stab wounds on the boat sailing out to sea

- once your friendship transcends into a romantic relationship, the height-related petnames come in

- Brienne cant help herself from calling you “little one”, “little love”, “little dove”, “little angel”, you are too precious to her in every possible way

- your knightly lady will take ANY excuse to swing you up into her arms and carry you around

- and she loves nothing more than holding you as you drift off to sleep, completely shielding you from all harm and keeping you warm from even the harshest winter

- but she also treasures the nights when you hold her, your smaller hands drawing gentle patterns on the side of her face and running through her hair as she rests her head against your chest, feeling safe and secure and loved in ways that only you have ever made her feel

- overall, she would love you no matter your height, but when you look up at her from your place approximately 4 inches from the ground, she knows there a few things she could adore more

[theriverspath]

Ineffable May 2024, Day 4: Disaster Puppy

Rated General Audience

Dog stood on the edge of the cliff overlooking his kingdom. No, that wasn’t quite right. Kingdom was the word that humans used. What would the Appointed Hound of The Great Beast rule over? His Alphadom? Ugh, that didn’t work either. Domain? Yes! That’s it! Dog’s Domain!

Below the Ruler of All He Sees, a valley lay in shadow. The piteous mewls of downtrodden and defeated cats echo against the walls. Nowhere in the depths of the barren gorge could they find a patch of grass warmed by an afternoon sunbeam. Nor were there plates of cream* or bowls of crunchy kibble. In a moment of benevolence, the Will of the Son Made Manifest had provided them with an abundance of small creatures to chase. However, the little weasels and moles and rats could never be caught. No matter how skillfully the feline hunters stalked their prey, no matter how precisely they pounced, their quarry would always escape at the last second. A minute tuft of fluff caught under a claw would be their only reward.

The Chosen Eternal Companion looked out upon his works, and saw that they were good. Or, bad? Either way, they were pleasing to his sight. The wind on the cliff ruffled his fur and brought the satisfying scent of sad cat to his nose. He breathed in deep, enjoying it.

Wait.

There was something else there, too.

The air shifted, coming at him from his back. A feral, musky odor pricked his danger sense. A raspy growl drowned out the distant meows. Dog twirled around, his hackles raised to scare off whatever had snuck up on him. A white face with two strong, vertical lines stared back at him. It was the badger from the field next to the apple orchard! The larger animal curled its lips, revealing two rows of menacing teeth. Dog returned the gesture, preparing to defend his domain.

The rat-a-tat-tattle of a falling pebble sounded from the cliff face just behind him. Unwilling to turn his back on the threat in front of him, Dog glanced over his shoulder. Two triangular ears crested the rim, followed by a pair of bright green eyes and a whiskered muzzle. A smaller one appeared beside it, its little nose wiggling and tiny squeaks sounding angry.

Dog glanced from the approaching badger to the crowd of cats and rodents emerging from the rift, and knew that there was no winning this battle. Even a Goodest and Bravest Boy of the Most Highest Order understands the value of a tactical retreat. Terrier-sized legs propelled him across the field, narrowly escaping snapping jaws and grasping paws. Dog ran, but inside he vowed to return to his domain one day and claim what was rightfully his once again.

“Oh look, he must be dreaming. Isn’t that cute, Arthur?” Mr. Young managed a monosyllabic affirmative noise from behind his morning paper. Deirdra smiled as she shook her head and turned to her son. “What do you think he’s doing, Adam? Maybe chasing a rabbit?” The boy looked down at the little dog gently kicking his back paw in his sleep. Calmly, he answered his mother.

“No, definitely not.”

-

*Please don’t give dairy to cats.

-----

Want to play along? Check out the prompt list from @blairamok.

[endternal]

BOLD what applies.

PERSONAL ; homeless | poor | middle class | comfortable | rich | single (this sort of implies he's available but he's not; he's not interested) | relationship | it's complicated | dating | engaged | married | divorced | widowed | parent | only child | middle child | youngest child (younger twin, specifically) | oldest child | glasses/contacts | hearing aid | braces | wheel chair | cane | service dog | cis-man | cis-woman | trans-man | trans-woman | non-binary | agender | homosexual | heterosexual | bisexual | pansexual | asexual | blind/visually impaired | mute | deaf | depression | anxiety | autism | PTSD or ASD | psychopathy | sociopathy | personality disorder | panic disorder | OCD

BELONGINGS ; car | bike | scooter | motorcycle | truck | mansion | house | apartment | RV | trailer | phone | desktop | television | watch | business | life insurance | land

PETS ; cat | dog | rodent (he p much counts the rats in his building as his pets) | bird (some of the pigeons he raised from hatchlings are no longer feral because of him) | reptile | other

APPEARANCE ; hair - crew cut | pixie cut | bob | shoulder length | elbow length | hip length or longer | black | dark brown | brown | light brown | auburn | red | ginger | strawberry blonde | dirty blonde | blonde | platinum | gray | silver | white | other colour (blue) | facial hair . eyes - brown | hazel | amber | blue | green | gray . body type - muscular | athletic | average | scrawny | curvy | fat | chubby | piercing | tattoo

TYPE OF DRUNK ; happy | sad | risk-taker | angry | philosophical | doesn’t get drunk | doesn’t drink

VICES ; smoking | drinking | illicit drugs | prescription drugs

OTHER ; broken a bone | gotten stitches | had a serious illness | had a near-death experience | killed someone | tried and failed to kill someone | had an unrequited crush | had sex and regretted it | had a one-night stand | experimented with their sexuality | ran away from home | learned an instrument | gotten a noticeable scar | been bullied | bullied someone | saved someone’s life | cheated on someone | been cheated on | been betrayed | taken the fall to protect someone | been arrested (and also bit a police officer) | been wanted by police | goes by a nickname | been blackmailed | had an attempt on their life | gotten away with a crime | gone on a road trip

[champagneandcaviar]

@yesthefandomfreakblr​ asked: “Well. You have just killed a man.”

BBC Sherlock - A study in Pink Starters [accepting]

Ratigan took some deep, deep breaths, still covered in blood from his violent outburst and hating himself every second for it. He rarely allowed himself to get this angry, to get this feral. He hated the reminder of WHAT he was...

"And you... Are getting... on my NERVES!" He spat towards the other rodent, staring down at his trembling, bloody hands and attempting not to seem like the whole ordeal BOTHERED him. And failing miserably.

[clearlyafandomblog]

Throwing in my controversial animal death opinion:

It's an ugly but inescapable fact that we needed to start culling feral dog and cat populations DECADES ago. Spay, neuter and release programs simply cannot make enough of an impact, and spayed/neutered individuals will still live to support the breeding members of their colonies while doing untold ecological damage for their own survival. Shelters and rescues are overwhelmed with seas of kittens and puppies every spring/summer, and even those few feral adults that can be rehabbed and adopted have little chance at a permanent home.

It's shameful that we allowed these feral populations to balloon the way they have; dogs and cats are yes, our friends, and companions, and indispensable in many ways. But there's more ferals than homes and rehabs and rescues to take them in, by several orders of magnitude. These animals, who are by dint of their domestication our responsibility, do not deserve to suffer in the wild, in environments that they have been many millennia divorced from. And those environments deserve protection from the vast and irrevocable harm these invasive feral populations inflict.

It's sad, and it's unfortunate, and I'm angry with the generations of mismanagement and irresponsibility that led us to this point, but widespread capture-and-euthanize programs are necessary now. For the songbirds and the rodents and the insects, we are obligated to action - but given how negatively people react to necessary euthanasia of dangerous, unadoptable dogs and cats in shelters and rescues, I don't see that action happening anytime soon.

A frustrating part of the mainstream vegan “love all animals and protect the environment” mindset is the fact that things need to die in real-life ecology all the time but deer hunting season makes icky feelings and carp culls aren’t cottagecore

[yr1stories]

Johnny Spacehair and The Oil of Ages: Sample

Excerpt from the Sci-Fi Comedy novella about an interplanetary private eye and his sentient hair.

Buy the full story HERE

— We join the action as Johnny Space Hair has kidnapped a government functionary in pursuit of the Oil of Ages. They have barely escaped their city being burnt to the ground by a hoard of robots. Having hitched a ride on a passing space ship, they are about to wake up in its cargo hold… —

PT. 5

“Welcome aboard,” An ingratiating female voice said as Johnny slowly came to. He looked around, feeling about his person for the empty beverage container he instinctively sought to blame for his occasional bouts of unplanned unconsciousness. He felt nothing and, informed by the info feed from his now thoroughly rebooted hair, began putting the pieces back together in his mind.

He shot upright and gasped, looking around for the government councilor he knew for a fact he’d had slung over his back in a bag. He turned and was face to face with Druglas Crudle, disheveled and wet with sweat. The angry bureaucrat glared back at him and, bypassing the normal bureaucratic prelude to such an act, punched Johnny in the face.

Johnny’s head snapped back and his nose bled slightly. Crudle’s hand hurt down to the bone, which was the only reason he didn’t pursue the punch with something more feral. He wanted to swing about and bite and tear until there were only blood spattered chunks of his kidnapper strewn about the smoking hold of this creaking and badly lit space ship.

“Welcome aboard,” the female voice repeated. Johnny’s eyes slowly cleared from the pain as he consciously decided not to escalate the confrontation with Druglas. He had kidnapped the man, now his nose was bleeding, not a bad trade. He would wait to point out that he’d also saved their lives and was thus owed deference and favors roughly equaling that afforded most semi-benevolent deities. Johnny looked around, expecting to find someone to charm and enthrall. They were in an empty hold and his every movement echoed into the murky distance.

“Hello?” he said and heard his voice relayed throughout the empty chamber. His confusion settled as he realized how much he liked the effect. He stood and spoke dramatically, “Behold, ye tender mortals! Spacehair has returned and thy deliverance is nigh!”

He smiled and hummed with pleasure at his own being, amplified by the receptively resonant spaceship.

Having recovered from the spasm of pain caused by punching Johnny, Druglas tackled him at the knees and vented a further sampling of his confused fury. The two struggled and strove like slap-fighting holiday shoppers, rolling around on the cold metal floor until they finally bumped into a pair of legs.

“Welcome aboard.”

This was a different female voice than the first. Both men looked up to see a fully engorged and throbbing Fire Fiend Kill Weasel ™ in the hands of the most thoroughly unwelcoming ship’s captain either had ever seen. The Fire Fiend Kill Weasel ™ is a species of servile heat-emitting rodent designed and bred to take enormous sexual pleasure from ejecting flame from its mouth and nostrils when stimulated on its trigger shaped erogenous rear appendage. “Meaner Than a Horny Weasel,” the ad copy used to say. It’s a difficult thing to accept as a sign of friendly intentions.

— Will Johnny and Druglas survive their encounter with the captain? Will they ever recover the mysterious Oil of Ages? Who are any of them and why does it matter? —

Find out by purchasing the full story from any e-book retailer!

Visit my website, yorgolee.com, and sign up for my e-mail list to stay up on more reality bending nonsense

[lamneus]

Continuation of https://twitter.com/sifyro/status/1298130406739521537?s=20

Posted using PostyBirb

[genshingarbage]

oooo can you do Hcs if our boys Diluc, Zhongli, Childe and Kaeya turned into a small animal for a day (could be based off their canon constellations or whatever ahah)? Like idk just imagine Zhongli turning into like a cute baby dragon/noodle-y lizard or Diluc becoming a ball shaped owl or eagle LOL. This can be both safe and non sfw ~

Congratulations to you for being our first ask~! We’ll do our best to serve. We are really excited to write this one, we were just thinking about things to write and then you popped outta nowhere with this amazing ask, brain go boom~ Enjoy your day with a bunch of feral animals, Lady Myrx - Mod Kaeya/Diluc

A Day In The Life Of ...

|| Head Cannons ||

We really wanted to stick to the constellation idea but with Childe that was a bit hard... considering his is like a fish/whale. So we thought about it and the only small critter we could pair with him was a ferret. I hope this will suffice. - Mod Diluc

Childe

How did he end up as a ferret today? No idea. Does he even care? Mmh... not really. He's found out that being a ferret has its pros surprisingly.

Scaring you awake for a first was the highlight of his entire day tbh.

The way you reacted when he kept licking your nose hearing you giggle 'Childe' under your breath.

Only to then scream when you opened your eyes to be greeted to a small ferret sat ontop your chest STARING at you.

You'll be spending all day trying to figure out how this happened?

But he will make it impossible for you to actually find any clues or evidence- he doesn't want this to end dammit.

Getting strokes and pets from the lovely ladies in Liyue when he does a small turn or lifts onto his back legs. Heaven <3

Running into the restaurants and kitchens stealing food and being chased out with name-calling ensue.

Rodent!

Vermin!

Music to his ears. Oh also you can bet you're his get out of trouble free card.

Scampering back to you and climbing up your leg till you hold him toward your chest.

He doesn't mind being there one bit either.

You'll be spending the day saying sorry to many angry shop keepers and chefs. Apologising on your 'dumb pet ferrets' behalf.

Eventually you'll tire yourself out from trying to get him to sit still for one minute to help figure out this crazy conundrum.

Because he's far too busy being the nightmare pest to Liyue right now.

He'll enjoy making you chase him only to squeeze himself under heavy objects that he knows you'll struggle to lift.

At one point he'll just completely dip.

Leave you outside looking for him while he gets comfy in your panties in your drawer.

Also you just know when he does wake he'll make you know exactly where he's been.

You'll see him in the hallway of your house with a pair of panties in his mouth. Just standing there.

He can't do it but you know he's smirking like a little shit to himself right now.

However when it gets late and you can't stand up anymore from having to deal with a demon in a ferret body all day he'll eventually give in.

The night will come to an end with you laying in bed with him coiled up into a tight ball on your lower abdomen.

Don't deny it. He's adorable as a ferret and that moment will declare it official 100%.

However what's more precious is when you wake up the next morning to him still curled into a ball but he's beside you in bed naked and very much human again.

You take great joy in waking him up by throwing water over him that morning and hearing him scream instead of you.

You still love him though and he'll never stop loving you <3

Diluc

Why is he an owl? How does he fix this immediately?

He will not enjoy this freak occurrence one bit.

He has evil to crush and innocence to protect. How's he suppose to do that as a tiny owl?

It doesn't help his humiliation either that you're just constantly going 'Awe' and 'Omg' to every movement he does.

He will randomly flap his wings out a lot. As if to shrug or try cross his arms but he keeps forgetting they're wings now...

Once you're finally over the attack of cuteness you'll sit down with several books on all sorts of magic and mystery to try help decipher this.

He will for sure sit on your shoulder. Just perch there while leaning down to also read the books along side you.

He really wants to be human again. Please help him.

Every small noise around him will result in his head doing the full 180⁰ head spin that owls do.

He is literally a fat feathery potato right now with bright red eyes. He looks kinda demonic ngl.

But the fact you know he's so embarrassed and humiliated over the situation just makes him so cute!

If Kaeya shows up DO NOT TELL HIM THE OWL IS DILUC.

Diluc may consider suicide if you do.

The nonstop teasing and ruthless bullying that will come from Kaeya is inhuman.

"Wow Diluc you took being the nocturnal type a bit too seriously huh?"

If he doesn't commit suicide he'll definitely commit murder when he's human again. So just don't let Kaeya find out.

You'll hear a lot of people questioning why you suddenly have a pet owl. And when people ask you'll have to sputter out half arsed excuses.

"A gift for Diluc."

"It was injured and I'm helping it."

People will ask alot if they can stroke it and even though you know Diluc is screaming no you'll say yes.

You'll have to stifle your laughter when you see his podgy unamused owl face being squatted down by pets on the head.

If you keep taking the piss however he will eventually peck your ear. Just bite it. Hard.

Make you squeak and apologise to him.

Despite being given a once in a life time chance to FLY he just WON'T.

He'll remain on your shoulders the whole day. He doesn't want to go anywhere like this. Just make him human again already.

However as night approaches and it's clear there is no resolve to his problem he'll reluctantly give in.

You won't even know it but you'll pass out searching through the books trying so hard to help him.

He's totally not gonna then chose to fly in the night sky to find a pretty windwheel aster to leave on your window ledge to wake up too.

His way of thanking you for trying so hard all day to help him even if it does end with fruitless results.

He fall asleep perched at the bottom of the bed. Looking like a fluffy ball with a face and nothing else from how round he is.

When the morning does arrive and he wakes up to his human self again he's actually gonna be smiling like a maniac.

And if he's with you he's gonna get lost in his glee and lift you up and twirl you like a princess.

Before clearing his throat and putting you down and going back to his nonchalant ways.

His face bright red however as... yes... he did just pick you up and twirl you round while he's stark naked.

Time to find his clothes ASAP.

Kaeya

Aight, first thing he's gonna do is discover that peacocks can scream because he certainly is on the inside

You know that video of that seagull screaming?

Yeah that's him when he first finds out

But after you manage to help him calm down he's...pretty chill honestly

He gets to just vibe perched somewhere high, eat and sleep all day while everyone else rushes about and figure out what's wrong? fuck yes

Peakaeya is gonna be roosting on the shelves above your desk, the door frame and frantically tip tapping after you as you run errands around Mondstat without so much as a care in the world

Let's get this straight alright if one thing about Peacocks is known it's that they're drama queens so this is like normal Kaeya ramped up to about a 10. If you so much as deny him a rice grain he's gonna get pouty and act all cute and sad for pets

Just tease human Kaeya about it later for revenge it's alright we know you want to

He's gonna present

A lot

Because he's a massive flirt and now he can lay into people without having any consequences and make their day while he's at it

Especially you, especially to interrupt you while you're scolding him because his feathers are gorgeous and the fucker knows how to work them to his advantage

The one place I wouldn't recommend taking him to is DIluc's for obvious reasons

It's going to end in a fight or at the very least customer's mugs and glasses being kicked to high heaven by a mischievous little fowl with claws the length of your finger

God forbid he tries to peck someone's eyes out after they make a comment

So yeah no just don't take him to the tavern, if you do leave him outside and ignore the screaming Peacock staring through the window so intently at the back of your head you're starting to get freezer burn

If you can't find him he's probably posing dramatically on the Anemo Archon statue or in the courtyard by the Knights' HQ, there I just saved you 2 hours

When it comes to bed time he's gonna find all your clothes and make a little nest out of them on your window sill and brood there until he falls asleep

Thankfully he didn't fall off it in the middle of the night but the sight of a naked Kaeya leaning against the wall under your window is uh

Pretty interesting

Zhongli

Well this was a predicament

Being a gecko was hardly one of the first forms he would've chosen to shift into, especially considering his retirement but he couldn't seem to shift out of it so guess he's stuck with it

You know it was him from the first second you saw him perched next to his cup of tea looking confused

The lil horns and whiskers gave him away

He's gonna do a cute little tail wiggle every time he notices you looking at him, he can't control it it just happens

When you do manage to get a brush and ink geck-Li just sticks his whole paw in the ink and writes to communicate that way but the letters come out so botched you can't even tell what word he's trying to write you just know it is infact A Language and that it is A Word

Don't worry about it too much since he's used to existing as small creatures

He may waddle back and forth across your desk as you work

He doesn't really know what to do with himself, I mean he's tiny right now so he can't exactly give you his usual lectures or aid

If you need to leave just put him in your breast pocket and he'll go along for the ride but he wants to keep near you

You'll feel him shift around don't worry he's just napping or moving to hang his for legs out of your pocket so he can see what's happening

Boop him and watch his eyes go wider than you've ever seen them

He'll also follow your finger even to the point he's crosseyed

Mlem

In the event someone sketchy comes up to you he just screams

It'd be adorable if not for how horrific it sounded? You didn't know what dinosaurs sounded like but you're pretty sure they'd sound like whatever the fuck kind of noise he'd managed to produce when a particular bold treasure hoarder tried to get you to join them

How was he so loud??

And defensive???? He tried to bite a shop owner when he moved to fast helping you pick up some chilis

Though when he spaces out and licks his eye it's pretty cute

It's honestly eye opening seeing him like this...it's like you know him better

Bedtime means he's going to just starfish on his pillow and I mean his pillow because somehow he takes up all of the space on it and no no you cannot take it back from his tiny little gecko paws

Waking up, he’s missing and there's a note on your bedside thanking you for taking care of him

He did wake up stark naked with his arms wrapped around you but he felt that was vastly inaproriate, so he got dressed as quickly as he could and left a note

A couple days later when you visit him in Liyue with a new gecko pet (a species named after Rex Lapis as it so happens) he can't help the small smile that graces his lips

[izzyspussy]

(Be)Longing

When The Revenge begins suffering from a rodent infestation, Stede purchases a mouser to take care of the problem. Unfortunately poor "Sir Fluff" is not the sweet, adorable cat Stede imagined; he's a mostly-feral, terrified kitten with a missing leg and a bad attitude. He's so angry and volatile, it seems like maybe he'll never find his place on the ship. Until he meets the other mostly-feral, angry, vicious cat on board. This is a story of two like-minded souls coming together and learning to trust, to survive, and maybe even love.

summary & fic by DarkwingDukat (pushingcrazies), cover art by me!

[heymrspatel]

julissa my sweetface, i would love nothing more than to retreat to our respective corners and act like angry, feral little rodents 🐁 we could even share a 2x4 like a breadstick 🥖

(also hi ily very much)

MACY, THE NOISE I JUST MADE! share a 2x4 like a breadstick!!!! help me holy fuck! you know, every time we go feral over something, this is how i'm going to picture us. forever and always. on either end of a 2x4 just nom nom neeeom neeeeomm alsdfjkalkd

also also i'm saving this little plaster busting macy mouse. maybe i'll make it my wallpaper so i can stare at it every day 😭

also i love you i love you i love youuuu 💙

[bridoesotherjunk]

Venom 3 : All in the Family

Bit three!

We get to see a little bit of Feral Eddie in this one. :) Just a taste.

Cut to next scene.

Eddie is walking around the abandoned Life Foundation building. He starts around the outside where the old rocket used to be, but most of it is long gone. Everything metal has been removed, probably to be melted down into other things. Some of the dock is left behind, but it’s not enough for him to look at. He goes inside. He’s using his flashlight to look into rooms and taking pictures with his phone of anything that looks important. Or that looks like it once was important.

Most of the building has been emptied out. The government and any remaining Life Foundation lawyers probably took everything that could be used against them. No signs of any dead humans or animals in here now. Just layers and layers of dust. It’s kind of disappointing. Eddie had hoped maybe he would find an old file or some sort of clue, but so far all he was finding were bad memories.

Eddie pauses at the cell that once held Maria. The place he first got Venom…

“We never should have come back here,” he murmurs. “Being fugitives on the run was the smarter choice… Fuck. Anne would’ve understood if we didn’t go to the wedding. This is all my fault.” He stares into the empty cell. It goes quiet. There’s maybe the sound of a rodent scurrying somewhere in the distance, but otherwise the whole place is still and silent.

The silence is broken by the shrill ring of his phone. He jumps, swears, and fumbles to answer it. He drops his light on the floor. “Ye-yah? Hello?” He stoops to pick it up as he answers.

“Brock. It’s Mulligan.”

“Hey! Hey, hey, so-so what’d you find out? You get my message?”

“I did, yeah. And I looked her up. The courts kept most of the files from the whole Life Foundation fiasco. Couldn’t find much about her. She’s pretty clean.” Eddie deflates.

“But it looks like one of her old buddies had a few run-ins with the cops. A Carl Mach. I’ve got a last known address for him- where are you? We could check it out.”

“I’m, uh, actually at the Life Foundation,” Eddie says and Mulligan makes a noise.

“No wonder you’re always getting into trouble… Stay there, we’ll come get you.” He tells him.

Eddie nods. “Oh-okay, I’ll head outside.” He hangs up and takes one sad look back at the cell before turning and heading out.

He waits outside in the dark, hands in his pockets. He fidgets as he stands there.

Eventually a car pulls up in front of him. Mulligan rolls his window down. “Come on, get in.”

Eddie does and looks around the interior of the car as he sits in the passenger seat.

“Was kind of expecting a cop car… Oh, is it just you?”

Mulligan frowns. “Of course it’s just me- it’s not like I can tell anyone I’m helping you look for a fucking alien.” Mulligan seems grouchy as he’s driving. Eddie goes quiet then and just looks at him for a little while. Eventually he turns his head and looks out the window, tugging on his necklace absently.

They reach an apartment complex. It’s late at night. There is not much light other than the streetlights. A few windows have lights coming from them. Probably people watching TV.

Eddie is the first to get out of the car. He is already feet from the door by the time Mulligan is out of the car.

He yells to Eddie to wait, but Eddie is already pounding on a door.

“Eddie!” Mulligan rushes up to him, “Eddie!” He puts his hand on his shoulder. That’s when the door opens.

A woman answers. She looks confused and a little bit angry.

“Hi-Hi! Is there a Carl Mach here?” Eddie is already asking, eager and in her face.

“Excuse me?” The woman looks even angrier.

Mulligan holds up his badge. “Hi ma’am, sorry to come so late at night. We’re just looking for Carl Mach.”

The woman scowls at them. “I don’t know a Carl. Go away.”

“No, no wait!” Eddie shouts, grabbing the door before she can slam it. “Please, you have to know something! Please!” The woman is trying to tug the door shut. Eddie is close to tears. “Please, please- they took him! They took-!”

She finally pulls the door shut, slamming it.

Eddie crumbles to his knees. He is openly crying now.

“They took Venom from me…”

Mulligan slowly lowers down to rub Eddie’s back in comforting circles. “We’re gonna find ‘im… We’ll find him, Eddie.”

“I should have kept him safe,” Eddie mutters, “This is all my fault.” Mulligan just stays squatting by his side, silent as Eddie grieves.

The camera pans up into the sky.

A Week Later…

The next scene we see after the time skip card is a shot of Eddie with Anne and Dan in their apartment. He looks depressed. Dan hands both he and Anne a mug. Eddie takes it with a mumble. The cat is lounging by the window.

“You’ll find him, Eddie,” Anne says.

Eddie just stares at the TV playing the news. It doesn’t seem like he’s really even watching it.

Dan says, “It’s only been a week. We- we’ve all seen- we all know how strong Venom is!”

“And what a stubborn ass he can be,” Anne says, smiling.

Eddie only laughs once. A sad, bitter little sound. Both Anne and Dan exchange a worried look.

“Eddie, come on, we all know that Venom is okay. If he can, he’s- he’s probably out there right now. Looking for you!”

“But what if he’s not?” Eddie asks, voice a trembling whisper. “What if, what if he’s hurt? Or what if they left him out in the air? No one understands him Anne- people don’t know what he is.”

Anne is about to say something else when the TV suddenly blares with a Breaking Broadcast. The report on the TV begins by saying, “What I am about to show you seems unbelievable, folks, but- it- it seems that… Monsters exist. We are going live from (place. I dunno).” And the TV shows video of smoke and explosions. There are people screaming.

The camera is shaky and then there is a streak of color across the screen.

Then another.

And then another still until finally, out of the smoke rises Scream. (Though Eddie and the others don’t know that yet. All they know is that its another new symbiote. The audience will recognize Scream.)

Eddie jumps to his feet. Anne drops her drink. Somebody swears.

The TV then shows two more symbiotes emerge from the smoke. The person holding the camera can be heard saying, “holy shit” before they are spotted and one of the symbiotes attacks them. The feed cuts out.

Dan immediately says, “You have gotta be shitting me.”

“There are more of them!?” Anne shouts, looking from the TV to Eddie and back. “What the fuck, Eddie!?! How!?”

“Venom…”

The TV continues to play and the woman on screen shows other videos, but Eddie’s phone goes off and he looks away. It’s Mulligan calling.

As soon as Eddie answers, he is talking. “Brock, you wanna explain this shit to me!?” He is shouting.

The camera shows the TV again while Eddie is on the phone. There are blurry images of Carnage on screen and the reporter is still talking. The headline across the screen reads “Monster in San Francisco?”

Eddie is talking to Mulligan and grabbing his keys. He ignores Anne as she tries to stop him and ask him where he’s going.

“It’s like Carnage. These- these have to be from Venom. They’ve gotta be his kids.” Anne finally managed to get Eddie to hear her asking him where he’s going. “I-I gotta- I gotta go, Anne. He’s- Venom might be there.”

“They’ll kill you!” Anne argues.

Eddie pushes past her and Dan. “I don’t care. I can’t just sit here on my ass!”

“Well we’re coming with you,” Dan says, “We’ve all seen what these things can do. You’re gonna need help.” The two of them grab their own keys and they all rush out of the apartment. Eddie hangs up as Mulligan is still yelling on the phone. He puts his helmet on and the motorcycle roars to life. He doesn’t wait for Anne and Dan, but they both follow behind him quickly.

We see a few shots of them speeding through traffic.

There are massive clouds of dust when they reach the buildings. Explosions are still going off and something is on fire. (Probably a car.)

Eddie jumps off his bike and throws his helmet to the ground. He runs into the smoke and dust. Distnatly we can hear Anne and Dan shouting for him.

He stops in the middle of the smoke. He is coughing, but stops to look around. He raises his hands to cup them around his mouth and screamsfor Venom.

… There is no answer…

Eddie calls for Venom again.

Suddenly a tendril bursts out of the smoke. It slams into the ground, cracking the concrete. (Eddie jumps.)

Another tendril explodes forward and yanks down a streetlight.

Out of the clouds steps Scream. She grins like the Cheshire cat. Her rows of teeth glimmer ever so slightly now that she’s in the light.

“Hello again, Mister Brock,” she coos. Her voice is distorted and deep.

Eddie doesn’t even ask who she is. “Where is he!?” He snarls at her.

Scream laughs. “Who?” She cocks her head to the side, maw still stuck in that terrifying grin. “Oh, you mean your little tapeworm?”

“Don’t you fucking call him that!” Eddie looks furious. “Where is he!?!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, but if you honestly think I’m going to tell you, you’re an even bigger idiot than I thought.”

She laughs.

And Eddie charges at her.

She grabs him with a tendril of her hair and flings him away easily. He slams into a partially destroyed car. He gets up and she slams him back down. He fights against the hold she has on him, biting into one of the tentacles. Scream doesn’t even seem to notice it.

“Ah-ah-ah,” she tuts at him. “Can’t have you sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

She looms over him.

Eddie is visibly hurt. He is shaking with pain, but is still trying to get up. He is swearing at her and calling her every name he can think of. He keeps demanding to be told where Venom is. Scream appears to be amused by his anger.

Scream raises up a tentacle and strikes-

Only to be knocked back by a deep red shape. The dust clouds get blown away by the fast movement.

Scream shakes herself off, snarling, and lifts herself up to sit. She laughs as the smoke clears.

Hunched protectively in front of Eddie- is Toxin.

“Oh, Eddie!” Scream is laughing hysterically, “You never told me you had another one!”

Toxin turns his head to look at Eddie. “Are you all right?” He asks, shrinking the sword his hand was formed into back to normal.

“Carnage?” Eddie gawks up at him, even as he takes the hand Toxin offers him.

Toxin smiles. “I never got to meet my parent. Patrick tells me he was a piece of shit, though.”

Before Eddie can say anything else Scream’s tendrils slash across Toxin’s shoulder. Toxin roars with pain.

“Aww, how sweet!” Scream is shouting from across the street. “A little family reunion!”

She begins raising up using her hair tendrils. She floats and rises above them almost like something out of religious imagery. The sun glints off of her as she hovers over all the smoke and destruction.

“Well, if this is a reunion- maybe I should introduce you…!”

After she says this, tendrils shoot out of one of the few remaining dust clouds.

Then more tendrils come.

And more.

And one by one, the four other symbiotes emerge and move to stand beside Scream.

They are all menacing and huge, but Eddie (and the audience) notices that something seems different about them. None of them are as vibrantly colored as Scream is. Each one looks more like a smaller version of Venom than anything else. They only seem to have streaks and ripples of color throughout their forms.

“Say hello to daddy,” Scream coos.

Previous Part -> here

First Part -> here

AO3 Link -> here

[bqstqnbruin]

F is for Friends - part 3

Whoops I'm in class rn but I just finished part 3 so here it is! I think this is the longest part so far, but not much longer than the others, so have fun.

But yeah, ignore typos, I might fix them eventually, but knowing me, I'll miss them so call em out if you feel like it.

Read the other parts here: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 4

________________________

“I don’t get why it has to be him, though,” Keelan whines on the other end of the phone. You did the stupid thing and reminded him that Nolan and some of his teammates were visiting your classroom to do a lab with your honors kids today, and he reacted exactly how you expected him to while you were driving in that morning.

“Because Anderson is an ass and Nolan volunteered.”

“Ok, but why Nolan?” he asks, saying his name like it was cursed

“Because when I called Tom Holland he said he was busy.”

“You know what I mean,” he mumbles.

“No, I don’t.” Yes, you did, but you weren’t about to tell him that.

“Why couldn’t you have invited Fran and Lindsey?”

You sigh, pulling into your parking space outside the school, Javier already waiting for you by the door. “Because they had to be prominent and I don’t think anyone needs the two of them trying to do an experiment. Now, I have to go, Nolan and the guys will be here after lunch, I’m already fucking nervous because of Anderson. I love you, goodbye,” you tell him, hanging up before he can get another word in.

“Are you ready?” Javier asks, handing you the cup of coffee he had picked up for you, waiting outside by his car like he did every morning.

“I almost threw up, like, five times getting ready this morning and Keelan is being an ass about this,” you huff, struggling to swipe your ID to get into the building. “Why isn’t this working?”

He takes the ID out of your hand, flipping it around in his fingers before swiping it himself. “Holding it the right way might help.”

You take it from him, clearly annoyed. “If this is any indication as to how the rest of the day is going to go I’m quitting and looking for another job at 3 pm.”

“So you’re not going to be dramatic today, I see,” Javier jokes, earning a glare from him as the two of you walk up to your classroom, greeting students as you passed by them in the halls. “Hey, listen. You’re a great teacher,” your friend assures you once you unlock your classroom door. “You’re going to be fine. If you need me, I have my free period during your first class they’re here, and I think Charlie has a free period during your second if you still need someone to run interference when Anderson is there.”

“Thanks,” you tell him, turning into your classroom to get ready for the day. Your phone was buzzing with texts, some angry from Keelan about what he was now referring to as ‘the neighbor situation,’ and one from Nolan asking you to confirm yet again where they were supposed to go.

“Are you buying lunch today?” Javier comes back into your room with his own to stash in the fridge that was in the back corner of your class. It wasn’t yours, nor was it for food technically, but that didn’t stop you and Javier from stashing your lunches in there instead of walking down to the teacher's lounge on the other side of the school.

You sit there for a minute, trying to remember if you even grabbed it when you were heading out the door that morning. Between Keelan busting your ass about Nolan, thinking of the lesson the lab that you were doing that afternoon, and just the general morning antics of getting out the door on time, you left your lunch bag on your kitchen counter. “Is there still a box of cereal in there?” you ask him when he opens the fridge.

“Yeah.”

“That’s my lunch then,” you say, keeping it in there so it wouldn’t be exposed to chemicals or attract any sort of rodent or vermin that you had no desire in dealing with. You knew today was going to be hell, and you weren’t even prepared for the college prep kids you were going to see during the second and third periods. You do your best to scramble and get everything you needed, thankful for the first time that you were giving them a test that you could grade during lunch and last period (and honestly, at home since that’s where most grading took place) instead of having to worry about teaching them when your mind was occupied by your honors lesson that day.

By the time your college prep kids were done with their tests, you were trying to mentally prepare for the lab, only to freak yourself out. Your computer dings, right before the bell rings, a message from Anderson saying that he would be stopping by during the second period to observe since ‘it was his job to make sure you were doing well as your superior.’ God, you hated him. The bell for lunch rings, your students filing out of your room as you grab the mug you kept on your desk and poured as much cereal into it as you could.

Javier comes back into your room, grabbing his lunch and plopping himself down at the table, eating his lunch as the two of you fell into conversation as you always did. Not even five minutes in, your classroom phone rings right as you hit print for the instructions you wrote up for the boys.

“Y/L/N’s room,” you answer, the school’s secretary telling you that the guys were in the office waiting for you. “Oh, wow, ok, I’ll be right down.” You hang up, throwing your hair into a bun, and grab your mug of cereal. “I’m getting the guys, do you want to come with me or wait here until we come back?”

Javier comes with you, both of you practically running through the halls out of panic that your students would bombard whoever Nolan brought with him. You were munching away at the cereal as you open the door to the main office, seeing Nolan and two of the other guys in their Flyers jerseys, all of them looking awkward with their hands in their pockets, unsure of what else to do. “Hey, guys!” you greet them, Nolan the first to turn around. Fuck him for looking good and making your heart skip a beat. It’s not fair, is it? “Uh, this is Javier, one of the other chem teachers,” you introduce him once you collect yourself, trying not to focus all your attention on Nolan.

This was at most a crush. Just a crush on the boy who lived next door to you. Who was also hot and sweet. Just a crush that you shouldn’t even be thinking about at school to begin with, so who cares? Having a crush on a boy does not mean that you loved him or that you loved Keelan any less. Oskar and Travis introduce themselves to you and Javier, the five of you walking back to your classroom while you continue to eat the cereal, suddenly very conscious of how weird it looked.

“No Kev?” you ask Nolan, the two of you lagging behind the other three guys while they talk.

Nolan shrugs, feeling nervous to even be with you in the school hallway. Every single thing he’s thought about you in the last how many days started flooding back to him, something was telling him that besides the fact that he shouldn’t be thinking them at all, he shouldn’t be thinking of them in your school. “He said he didn’t sleep well last night so he was going to stay at our place.”

“Hey, Y/N, what are we doing today?” Oskar asks, pulling your attention away from Nolan once you get back to your classroom.

“The kids are going to be designing a lab where they have to use the ideas of limiting and excess reactant to get the desired product.”

“What does that mean?” Travis asks, Javier sitting back and watching everything happen.

“So you’re not always going to have a perfect ratio of chemicals, nor are all reactions going to go to completion where everything reacts with everything,” you start to explain. “Think of it this way: you guys have your roster of however many players, yeah? You need three forwards, and two bluelines out on the ice in a normal five-on-five. Say every line is locked in; it can’t be changed, you can’t move people around, you can’t have people playing with different players outside of their line, it’s always the same five people. If you have nine forwards and 8 defensemen, how many line combinations can you have?”

“Three,” Nolan answers you.

“Why?”

“Because you have enough defense for four lines, but only three lines when you’re looking at forwards.”

“Right,” you say, not noticing the looks that Oskar and Travis were giving Nolan, “so your forwards in this case, are going to be like your limiting reactant, your blueliners are your excess because you would have two of them leftover.”

“And what are the kids going to do?” Oskar asks you.

“I’m going to give them a desired product, tell them how much of it they want to make, and they’re going to have to figure out how much of each reactant they’re going to need to make that.”

“And they can do that?” Travis asks.

“Knowing Y/N, they can,” Nolan mumbles, his cheeks turning red.

Before you can respond, the bell rings indicating the end of lunch. “Well, alright then.”

The boys and Javier lean against the back counter, your students coming into your classroom as you tried to down the rest of your cereal that you forgot about while you were talking to the boys. You knew that you wouldn’t be able to eat during the lab given the chemicals, but you definitely had to eat something.

“Ms. Y/L/N, who are they?” Spencer asks.

You hold up your finger for him to wait a minute, some of your students knowing who they are, one of your girls going absolutely feral in the corner opposite from where they were standing. The bell rings for you finally start class, getting your 24 students to quiet down as they wondered what the guys were doing. “We have guests today!” you tell them in your cheeriest teacher voice. You were genuinely excited for them to be there, but now that they actually were in the same room as your students, your nerves were threatening to take over. “From the Philadelphia Flyers, we have Oskar Lindblom, Travis Konecny, and Nolan Patrick to do our lab with us today! And for this period we also have Mr. Emillion, and later Mr. Fitzgerald later, so we’re going to have a lot of adults in our room.”

You start explaining your agenda for the day with your kids, knowing that some of them were focusing on the boys more than they were on you. You get into your lesson anyway, starting with your review questions. “If you have a reactant that remains after the reaction, is that the excess or the limiting reactant?”

“Excess,” Nolan mumbles under his breath as one of your students says the same thing. You ask another question, Nolan answering again, Travis and Oskar looking between him and each other.

“So, since when do you know so much about chemistry?” Travis leans over to Nolan while you’re explaining the directions to your students.

“I don’t. Y/N already explained it to me.”

“Let me rephrase it: since when do you care about chemistry?” Nolan just shrugs, pretending like he didn’t know what Travis was getting on about. “Oh, come on. Kevin told us about you liking her. At least be less obvious about it if you aren’t going to ask her out.”

Nolan takes in a deep breath, “We’re not doing this now.”

The students go off to do their thing, trying to brainstorm the procedure when you go up to the guys. Javier was already walking around and listening to the students chatter about their ideas. “So, you guys can guide them through everything, don’t outright tell them any of the steps they’re supposed to have written down. Follow what Javier and I are doing, I guess,” you tell them, having to force yourself to look at Oskar and Travis instead of just Nolan. They nod and start walking around, clearly confused.

This was going to end very poorly and you knew it. Especially with Anderson coming in. You watch the four guys walk around, the three hockey players clueless as the students try to figure out how they can interact with them. You realize the copies you made for them were still sitting in the printer tray in the other room, running to get them before anyone noticed you were gone. You were so scatter-brained by everything today, adding to the general anxiety you felt going into the lesson.

You start walking around, listening to the students and guiding them as they needed you to, thankful that they were actually getting the procedure they needed without much difficulty. “Alright, it looks like most of you have the procedure down,” you say to your class, walking around and hovering over your student's shoulders. “Make sure that before you start, either Mr. E or myself have to sign off on it, then our guys from the Flyers can help you with the lab. Sound good?”

Your students all agree, calling you and Javier over to read through their procedures so they can start. You were getting more nervous over the threat of the bell ringing soon and knowing that Javier had to go and teach his class, leaving you alone with the boys when Anderson came in to observe, too. You were running around, trying to scan through the procedures to make sure they were right so they could start working after the bell rang.

The bell sounds, your students starting to get chaotic, “Alright guys, you can take a break now or once you get your reaction heating, but not both. It’s up to you but you get five minutes either way.”

Some of your groups leave to go hang out in the hallway while their other friends move to their next class, some of your students get right to work with their lab goggles to start mixing. You were just waiting for Anderson to come in so he could rip you to shreds for whatever he felt like today.

“Hey,” Nolan says, taking you out of your trance. “You’re doing fine.”

“This experiment has to go well with the three of you,” you tell him, watching Oskar and Travis trying to help some of your students. Trying was the keyword there, but the students looked like they were having fun teaching the guys what to do.

“You’re an awesome teacher, it’s going to go well. Look at them. They know exactly what they’re doing and you barely had to tell them. That’s a great teacher,” you hear him say. You give him an unsure look. “Come on, would I lie to you?”

You shrug, a smile on your face. You could feel the heat rush to your cheeks as he scoffs when you tell him, “I don’t know.”

“Miss Y/L/N! Nice to see you!” you hear that voice calling you when the bell rings, all of your students filtering back in and getting right to work, knowing that Nolan heard you start mumbling under your breath as soon as Anderson appeared in your doorway.

“Hi, Mr. Fitzgerald,” you say, fake sweetness dripping in your voice when Anderson comes right up to you. “Class, say hi to Mr. Fitz!” you call him the nickname you knew he hated.

He looks around your room, trying to see who you brought. The fake smile he had plastered on his face drops when he sees the three guys. “You know the Flyers?”

You tried your hardest to hide the obvious smile on your own face, seeing the anger build inside him knowing that you had someone more impressive to work with your students. You shrug, “Yeah. Nolan here is my neighbor,” you introduce him, Nolan offering up an awkward wave, “I mean, they aren’t the president of a school in a university, but I think the students are having fun.”

“So what are the students doing?” Anderson asks, his face red with jealousy that you brought the boys.

Nolan walks away, as you start to explain that your students are going to make zinc chloride from an anhydrous copper chloride and solid zinc solution. He had no idea what it meant, but he knew that it was a silver piece of metal with a blue solid that you dissolve in water and it’s supposed to create a milky-looking liquid.

He starts walking through the class, listening to your students as they do the experiment, even though he still had no idea what they were talking about. One of your students was sitting in the corner, watching everything happen around him but not participating. “Hey, bud,” Nolan approaches him. “How’s it going?”

The student just nods, not taking his eyes off his paper while his partner does the rest of the work.

“I’m Nolan,” he says, sitting down next to the child. He watches the other student continue to mix the solution to get it to react. “So you let that sit now, right?”

“Yep.”

You and Anderson stand and watch the students, Anderson saying something about how the experiment was going, but you weren’t listening to him at all. You were making sure your students were doing what they needed to, working on the additional practice problems they had while the solution was sitting, seeing them get out the hot plates and set them up for when they would need them later, interacting with each other.

“Anderson,” you say, cutting him off once you see Nolan in the back corner, “look.”

He follows your gaze to Darren, your student who normally didn’t say a word, talking with Nolan and explaining everything to him. Nolan had a huge smile on his face that mirrored Darren’s and his partner Sydney’s. “I’ve never seen him talk with someone before,” Anderson says, dumbfounded. You knew Darren had been assigned to your class because Anderson wanted to see you work with ‘an unworkable student’ as you had overheard him telling Javier at the end of last school year. Darren was laughing with Nolan and Sydney, doing the work and actually helping his partner more than just doing the work on paper and passing it over to Syd like he normally did.

You both stand there, watching the three of them interact. You had a huge smile on your face, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks when Nolan looks away from the students and smiles at you, Darren holding up the beaker with their pale blue solution in it to show you. You give them a thumbs up, turning to Anderson and boasting, “I think they’re doing well.”

Anderson mumbles something under his breath, probably for the better since you had a feeling it was something about you as a general person.

You scan the room again, watching Travis and Oskar interact with the students, still not really sure what they were doing, but they all had smiles on their faces, so you couldn’t complain. You leave Anderson, walking around the room, making sure your students were doing ok. One of the groups asks you a question about the review worksheet they were doing, leaning against the table to help them. You listen to them talk through the problem, seeing Nolan staring at you out of the corner of your eye. Why couldn’t you focus on your students when he was right there?

You look up at the clock when you finish with that group of students. “Alright, y’all,” you get their attention, “Eyes on me for a minute. We have ten more minutes before the bell rings, which means we need to be cleaned up by then so you guys can get to your next class. You can leave the mixtures on the hot plates if they aren’t done heating and I will watch them. What I want one person to do right now is get a paper town and write you and your partner’s names on it and put it on the back counter for them to cool and we can mass them tomorrow, ok?” Your students agree and start scurrying around the room to do what you told them.

You move out of the way, going back to Anderson. “I’m impressed,” he says, a hint of genuine shock in his voice.

“Oh, really?”

Before he can answer, you hear something drop, the distinct sound of glass shattering on the floor. “No one move!” you say, all of your students halting as you try to figure out who dropped what.

Your student Nina waves you over as you rush to get your dustpan and brush, Anderson rushing over to help you clean up. “Are you alright?” you ask her.

“I cut my hand a little,” she lets out, showing you the scratch on her finger.

Anderson cleans up the glass, the rest of your students careful not to break anything else. You knew something had to go wrong. The day was going to perfect for something to not ruin it. “Let’s clean you up.” You help Nina wash her hand, making sure none of the chemicals got on her as you search for a bandage. “Was that the beaker with the zinc chloride?” She nods, you see a tear threatening to roll down her cheeks, knowing that she just ruined the product they had spent the entire period making and heating. Nolan watches you comfort her, feeling his heart flutter at the sight of you bandaging up your student. He pictured himself coming home after a game he got a fight in, you being there and helping him clean up a little more.

“Dude,” Travis whispers, scaring Nolan out of his fantasy. “You’re drooling.”

He waves him off while he watches you comfort your student who had started crying. “Hey, Neen,” you coo, a smile on your face, “It’s ok. Accidents happen. Remember I told you I was a lab assistant when I was in college? I can’t even count how many things I broke during one semester, let alone the entire time I was in the lab. We worked on the motto: if you break things that means you’re working hard. The harder you work, the more you break.”

“But we have to redo it,” she lets out.

You give her a nod, scrunching your face up. “Yeah. But if you get it started I can watch it heat. Do you have a class next period?” She nods. “Alright, hey Spencer?” you call over Nina’s partner, “Come here for a sec? Do you have a class next period?”

“Yeah. But I have a free period first period tomorrow. I can come in then.”

“Ok, here’s what we’re going to do,” you start, “Tomorrow, Spencer is going to come start the experiment, then Nina, do you have a free period at all?”

“Second period.”

“Perfect! Spencer will get it started, Nina will finish it, and if it’s not completely dry by class, I’ll give you an extra day to do the calculations. Sound good?”

They both nod, the bell ringing as you tell your students goodbye. That had to be the most stressful double period of your life, thanks to all the men who had to be in your room with you, the fourth of them now standing there staring at you.

“Not bad, Y/L/N,” Anderson says. “Only one thing broke. That’s gotta be a new record for you.”

He leaves before you could protest, your mouth hanging open even though you weren’t sure how you could even rebuttal his statement. You look at the three guys, Nolan looking significantly more upset than he probably needed to be. “That’s the first time something’s broken in three months.”

“He really is an ass,” Nolan says, grabbing a seat at one of the tables.

“I told you.”

“So, uh,” Travis starts, looking between you and Nolan. “Do you have another class or anything?”

“Nope. I have my last period free, but I have to go to the library in case any chem students need tutoring. You guys are free to go. I really can’t thank you guys enough. I’m not sure what I could ever do to make it up to you, but anything. This was huge,” you gush, really meaning it. The students loved it, and other than the one beaker breaking and Nina’s slight break down as a result, it went really well. You had done the lab in the past where the students had to redo the lab three times before it even worked, this time, you only saw one group redo it one time.

“Yeah, Nolan can probably think of something,” you thought you heard Oskar mumble, Nolan glaring at him. “We should get going, then.”

“Actually, Y/N, do you mind if I get a ride home with you?” Nolan asks as you gather your things to head down to the library. “You know, so they don’t have to go out of their way to drive me home?”

Travis’s mouth hangs open, a stupid grin on his face as he nudges Oskar, both of them looking at you as you’re clearly caught off guard. “Uh, yeah sure, we just have to go to the library, like I said. Are you sure you want to stay? I won’t leave for another hour and a half.”

“Yeah, I do,” he tells you, his cheeks bright red.

“Ok, um, you guys go back to the main office and sign out, I’ll just call down and tell them you’re staying?”

Travis and Oskar leave after bickering over something with Nolan that was out of earshot for you. Why would he want to stay? He had mentioned that Travis didn’t live that far away, so the ‘going out of their way’ argument seemed invalid.

You shake it off, leading Nolan down to the library. “You did a great job with Darren, by the way.”

He shrugs, taking the seat across from you at the empty table you found. Students were walking around, you hopeful that none of them would need help from you. “He’s a good kid.”

“I’m so excited to tell his mom about today,” you say, typing away on your computer. You look up, reading Nolan’s confused expression. “Getting Darren to talk in the class has yet to be successful for me. His mom asked me at the beginning of the year to tell her whenever he has a good day. I’ve never seen him talk that much and genuinely enjoy it.”

“Do you email all the parents when their kids have a good day?”

You shake your head, “I try to. High school kids, because they’re teenagers, don’t always get the praise and excitement from adult figures in their lives because they’re in that period of ‘you’re still a child and are treated as such but are expected to act like an adult.’. Even if it’s something small like they were participating a lot more than normal like in Darren’s case. It makes them more motivated and willing to learn if they know you recognize when they do something good.”

“Really?”

You force yourself not to make eye contact with him, knowing that you would see him blushing as he always was and that would, in turn, make you do the same. “Come on,” you say, pretending to watch out for kids who could be coming for tutoring, “don’t you remember when you were in school getting excited over the simple act of a sticker on a test you got a good grade on? I remember my senior year we were sitting in our world language class and everyone got an A on the test our teacher gave, and we all started begging for stickers because she had given them the last three years we had her. She was so annoyed with us, but every test after that, no matter what grade we got, a sticker was always on the test. It’s little, but it’s fun.”

“Teaching is a lot more than I thought it was,” you hear him say. Honestly, he wasn’t really paying attention to the words coming out of your mouth; he just loved that you were talking about something you so clearly loved.

You laugh, “Yeah. It can be a lot. You haven’t seen my college prep classes. Honors is a little easier because the students are slightly more independent in terms of their work, but my CP kids just have more needs for them to learn the same material.”

“What?”

“It’s the ‘lower level, but the difference is it just takes longer for those kids to learn the same information. So what we did today, I’ll probably do in a month or so with CP, and I would give them the procedure, either straight up or have them fill in the blanks depending on the child and the group.”

“Depending on their group?”

“Yeah. Each lesson has to meet the needs of every child, which means modifying and accommodating it based on if they have an IEP, a 504, which falls under special education plans, or if their parents request it or the student themself requests it but it’s not written. Like, I wouldn't interact with you the same way I would interact with Fran, or Maddy, or Keelan," or elaborate, swallowing hard at the mention of your boyfriend's name. " You interact with people based on how you need to interact with them and what their needs are. Kids aren’t one size fits all, so why should their education be?”

You kept talking but he stopped listening, hating himself for the realization that he came to while you talked about teaching, a soft smile covering your face while you continue to look around for students instead of looking at him: whatever feelings he had for you were more than just a crush, Kevin and Travis sadly being correct. He wasn’t in love with you, but he wanted, needed to be more than just your friend.

But you were still with Keelan.

The bell rings, signaling the end of the day, you and Nolan going back to your classroom until you were contractually allowed to leave. “So what are you doing tonight?” Nolan asks you. He wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but he didn’t want his day with you to end once you pulled into the parking space outside your apartments.

You shrug, looking around your desk for the tests that you had given your CP kids that morning. “Grading these,” you tell him, holding them up before stuffing them into your bag. He opens his mouth, about to say something when you get cut off by the sound of your phone. “Oh, it’s Keelan!” you squeal, Nolan’s entire body deflating at the sound of your boyfriend’s name. “Hey, you’re on speaker, I’m here with Nolan.”

He lets out a sigh before giving you a monotonous, “Hey, guys.”

“What’s up?”

“What are you doing tonight?” he asks you, Nolan’s heart dropping, knowing where this was going.

“I was just telling Nolan that I was going to grade the tests for my CP kids, why?”

“Can that wait until tomorrow, do you think?”

Running through your schedule in your head, you tell him, “Yeah, they’re not expecting them back for a week anyway.”

“Let’s go out tonight.”

Nolan could feel himself getting sick listening to this conversation, for no other reason than he wanted to be the one with you tonight. But he knew he couldn’t as he watched the smile on your face grow. “Where?”

“I want to take you somewhere nice, you know, treat my girl how she deserves to be treated. We haven’t had a date night in a while and I miss you.”

“What time do you want to go?” you ask him, your heart racing. It wasn’t racing in excitement to be with Keelan, but because you were suddenly incredibly aware of Nolan being right there as you were being asked out by the guy you were sure you loved.

“I’ll pick you up at five?”

“Sounds great. I’ll see you then.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

You hesitate, looking at Nolan who was no longer making eye contact with you. “Love you, too, Keel,” you force yourself to get out. You hang up, looking at the clock to see that it was thankfully time for the two of you to leave and go home, giving you around an hour to get ready by the time you got home and got as much ready as you could for school tomorrow. “We’re free to leave now, if you want,” you offer him, packing up your bag for the day.

He just nods, waiting for you at the door as you walk out to the car, driving home in silence, only a mumble goodbye as the two of you get out of your car and go inside.

Five pm rolls around, Keelan getting out of his car to greet you as you go running up to him. Nolan watches you from his window, knowing he was being a creep, but he couldn’t help it. You looked perfect in the dress and heels you had on, your hair and makeup done to make you look more beautiful than he had ever seen. He watched you run into Keelan’s arms, Keelan lifting you off the group as the two of you kissed, Nolan green with envy as he watched him get the door for you for the two of you to drive off to the night he wished he was experiencing with you.

[five-rivers]

Long Night in the Valley Chapter 15

It's been a bit, hasn't it?

.

.

.

Toshinori pushed himself up off the ground with trembling arms. Although, by the position of the sun, it hadn’t been for long, he’d blacked out when—

“Oh, no,” said Toshinori. His head throbbed at the sound, making the edges of his vision go dark and fuzzy.

When All for One had broken through into the shared mindscape.

“Oh, no,” he repeated.

Where was Izuku? He had to find—Oh, thank goodness, Izuku was right there. He let out a sigh of relief.

His relief was short-lived. Izuku, to put it lightly, did not look well. His eyes were open, but only glazed slivers. His breath was coming shallow and fast, not quite to the point of hyperventilating, but it was a close thing. His skin was pale, except for deep, bruise-like circles under his eyes. He was sweating more than Toshinori had ever seen him sweat (which was really saying something; Izuku broke out into nervous sweats with some frequency). Perhaps most concerningly, he was shaking like a leaf.

Izuku was, Toshinori realized, still maintaining the effect of Two’s quirk.

He tried to reach inside himself, contact his predecessors, but swiftly pulled his mental fingers back, as if they had been burned. Bad idea.

“Izuku,” he said, “can you hear me?”

Izuku made a small, pained noise that tore at Toshinori’s heart.

“I’m going to pick you up, okay?” he said. Izuku didn’t answer, but then Toshinori didn’t expect him to.

The simple act forced Toshinori to call on the embers of One for All. Not enough to make his muscles swell, but enough to give him the strength of an ordinary, healthy man. His muscles and his remaining intact lung screamed in protest, not to mention his scars. He ignored them.

He stumbled forward, priorities shuffling themselves. They’d been trying to escape, but if Izuku was this ill… he needed a doctor. An exorcist might be a good idea, too, what with All for One running around in their heads.

But to get a doctor, they’d have to put themselves in commission hands, and Toshinori could feel the echoes of Two and Three telling him exactly how stupid that would be.

The commission had sent Hawks after Izuku. Toshinori had no doubt they’d throw him in Tartarus, and the treatment of criminals in Tartarus was one of the few things Toshinori had publicly disagreed with the HPSC on in his hero persona. Not that it had gone anywhere. He simply hadn’t had the time to really push it and the commission had somehow managed to paint him as somehow too good, too forgiving, to be trusted when it came to the disposition of terrible villains.

“’ll be’kay,” mumbled Izuku, the sentiment clearer over their mental link. “N’ospital.”

“Okay,” said Toshinori, slightly breathless. “Let’s—Let’s keep going, then. Find a good place to camp out, far away from Todoroki Touya, here. Yep.” He was aware he was rambling, and needlessly at that, but he couldn’t help it.

One foot in front of the other.

Was that a car running?

Toshinori, keen on getting help and care for Izuku, even if it meant hijacking a car, changed directions slightly. Of course, it would be ideal if there were friendly bystanders who didn’t believe the hero commissions lies and had a medical license and a healing quirk, but Toshinori would be more than happy with—

He stopped. Laughed. Laughed some more, a little hysterically. There, abandoned in a ditch like a beached sailing ship, was Vlad King’s much abused car.

Sure, it would have been reported stolen by now, and the police and heroes would be looking for it, but that was a problem for future-Toshinori. Present-Toshinori, on the other hand, was simply grateful for the windfall, and wary – the presence of the car could indicate the proximity of the League of Villains.

He gently put Izuku down in the passenger seat, turned the car off and made sure it was in the appropriate gear, then walked around to the back of the car and lifted it out of the ditch.

If his muscles had been complaining before—

He staggered back to the driver’s seat, leaning heavily on the side of the car the whole time. Blood dripped from his mouth. “This is nothing, my boy, nothing,” he said in what he hoped was a reassuring tone, as he felt Izuku’s concern press heavily against him. “Used to have worse every day of the week.”

Toshinori got the sense that Izuku was not, in fact, reassured. Nevertheless, he grinned, pouring every drop of his fabled ‘everything will be alright’ smile into the expression. Even if Izuku couldn’t see it, Toshinori needed some of the comfort that came with donning a familiar mask

“Let’s see if we can get to the Wild Wild Pussycats today, after all.”

.

“Eri-chan,” began Abe, tapping together her papers. She’d drawn the short stick. Ito was interviewing one of the older students, and Abe got the feral child.

“No,” said Eri.

“I didn’t even ask you a question yet.”

“Only people I like get to call me -chan. That’s the rule. Prinzible Nezu said so.”

“Principal,” corrected Nezu, cheerfully, like the unhelpful rodent rat bastard he was. If only she could have gotten him kicked out… but, no, he and Present Mic were both sitting in on the interview.

“PrincipalNezu told me, and he’s in charge.”

“You tell ‘em, Eri-chan!” said Present Mic, just a little more loudly than was comfortable.

.

Eri nodded to let Present Mic know the noise-cancelling earplugs were working.

.

“In this situation,” said Abe, sternly, “I am in charge.”

The girl tilted her head, and suddenly her expression went from ‘pouting child’ to ‘superior being contemplating an uppity insect.’

“Eri-san,” began Abe.

“No,” said Eri.

Abe looked up incredulously. What was wrong with -san?

She decided to ignore it. “You spoke with—”

Eri began to scream like a teakettle whistling.

“Can’t you control her?” Abe demanded, turning to Nezu, who chittered.

“This is very good progress!” he said, barely loud enough to hear over the ongoing shriek. “Before now, Eri-chan was too hesitant to act out or misbehave in any way, fearing the punishment that her former and completely unqualified caretakers would inflict upon her.”

Abe didn’t know which was more longwinded, the still-screaming child or the rodent principal. Her body was so tiny, how was she still screaming?

.

Eri clicked off the Present Mic-themed combo audio recorder and player in her pocket at the same time she shut her mouth. Principal Nezu was right! This was fun! At least, it would be if Deku was here.

“I get to pick what you call me,” said Eri, patiently. Since this person wasn’t smart enough to see that Deku was only the best hero ever and not a bad guy, she’d have to explain slowly.

The person evidently wasn’t even smart enough to breathe, as she was slowly turning purple.

“What,” she said, in stilted tones, “would you like me to call you.”

Eri let the smile Aizawa had taught her spread across her face. “Eri-sama.”

“Is that a joke?”

“It’s very important to respect the boundaries children establish, Abe-san,” said Nezu.

.

Katsuki blinked. It was about time he woke up. Stupid dream time dilation or whatever. Stupid boring soy sauce face and his stupid boring mindscape dreamscape whatever hellscape. There was a limit to what you could do in a square mile that mostly consisted of a tape-covered jungle gym and a boring apartment building. Katsuki had found it, and, after spending a good period of time being angry about it, had decided to go to sleep.

Dream time dilation or whatever the commission proctor had been going on about after the first billionty-and-one stupid hours, it didn’t matter, Katsuki hated it, it was just taking too damn long. If he didn’t have to do this to keep his provisional license, he’d tell the commission to shove this stupid pointless training up it’s—

About a minute after he should have twigged to something wrong, Katsuki realized the ceiling was too familiar.

He sat up. Why the hell was he in UA’s infirmary?

And not just him, about half the class was here with him.

He scowled. So, something had gone wrong with the test after all, and it looked like Deku wasn’t involved. Stupid nerd would hold it over him.

“Hey!” shouted Katsuki, spotting Recovery Girl. “What the f—”

“Language!” scolded Recovery Girl, shrilly, practically teleporting across the room to jab Katsuki with her cane. “You’re in a school, young man.”

“I know that!” protested Katsuki. “But why the f—” he faltered under the force Recovery Girl’s gaze even as she started to run through the checklist she usually did for people who’d been knocked out like wimps. “Fudge. Am I here.”

“I think the more pertinent question is, how are you awake? There should be at least one more hour, if not two, left to that quirk.”

“I went to sleep,” said Katsuki, attempting to fend her off.

“Well, you wouldn’t be waking up if—”

“No. In the shhhtupid dreamscape thing. I went to sleep.”

Recovery Girl paused for a moment, then sighed. “I don’t suppose you were the one whose mind they were exploring?”

“No. That was soy sauce face. Why are we back here? And where’s the nerd?”

Recovery Girl seemed to droop at his question, and a heaviness filled the air. “That’s a long story.”

“Did we get attacked by Dusty McGee again?”

“No.”

“So, what did happen?” snapped Katsuki. “The nerd break out a new quirk in the middle of the training or something?”

Recovery Girl’s eye twitched, and she sat down on a nearby stool, taking a deep breath.

“The hero commission suspected Midoriya of working with the League of Villains and attempted to use the training to interrogate him. Under the influence of at least one mental quirk, Midoriya fled. At about the same time, All Might left and met up with him, after which the commission accused Midoriya of kidnapping All Might. They haven’t given him an S-Rank villain classification, but I suspect that’s just because the paperwork hasn’t gone through yet.”

All right. Honestly, with his creepy stalker notebooks and obsessive All Might shrine room, Deku probably seemed like a prime kidnapping suspect to an outsider, but considering that Katsuki had witnessed Deku and All Might’s sickeningly sweet interpersonal interactions, somehow managing to be a goddamn third wheel to some sort of surrogate parent-child found family drama nonsense…

“Has anyone told ‘em it’s more likely the other way around? And that if it was, it’d probably be for the nerd’s own good, too?”

Recovery Girl nodded tiredly.

“They hiding out here?”

“Midoriya is a wanted criminal.”

“So what?”

“We’re a school.”

“You’ve lost me.”

Recovery Girl sighed. “No, Midoriya is not here.”

“Well, that’s stupid. What are we doing about it?”

“Right now? You are doing nothing. Commission investigators are in the building, and it would be better if they thought you were still unconscious.”

Katsuki grumbled. “Should go and try to bring him back.”

“What, so he can be arrested?”

“No!” said Katsuki, defensively. “But he’s probably running around out there making everything worse!”

“Bakugo,” said Recovery Girl, patting his leg, “from what I’ve heard, the only thing that could possibly make this worse is being found.”

.

“Can you describe to me the circumstances under which you lost your quirk?” asked Ito, the other commission investigator.

“Sure!” said Mirio, hoping the man couldn’t detect his discomfort at the subject. Even if he’d made that split second choice to shield Eri with his body with full knowledge of the consequences, to jump in front of Nemoto’s bullet, it was still a traumatic experience. It still hurt, even if he didn’t regret it.

He took a deep breath. “Well, it was during the Shie Hassaikai raid. I had gone ahead to confront Chisaki Kai and rescue Eri. There were a few other yakuza with him, members of the Eight Bullets. Nemoto Shin, Sakaki Deidoro, and, ah, Chrono, I think. I can’t remember his proper name.”

“That’s fine. Please continue.”

“I engaged with Sakaki and Nemoto while Chisaki and Chrono went ahead. I was affected by their quirks, but managed to get by… It was a hard battle!” he interjected, suddenly. He belatedly realized he wanted to draw out this line of questioning, and dove into a supremely detailed description of his fight with Sakaki and Nemoto. It was funny, too, and he saw Ito getting sucked in.

Sir would have been proud.

“And then, I chased after Chrono and Chisaki!” said Mirio, gesticulating wildly to illustrate his movements. He continued narrating the battle, the wild swings of fate, Eri’s hope and fear, the strikes and counterstrikes! Just like when he’d first debriefed after the raid.

Weirdly enough, going through it like this also made him feel better. Less like he was reliving a terrible, painful moment in his life, and more like he was telling a very dramatic story.

“—aaaaaaand,” he wrapped up, “Chisaki tossed the gun with the erasure bullets to Nemoto – I hadn’t realized he was still conscious. I’d been too worried about getting to Eri.” He shrugged. “I got shot.”

“Despite your quirk?”

“I didn’t want Eri to be hit.”

“Even though the loss of her quirk might have been a blessing for her? Considering the difficulty she has using it and the pain it gives her.”

Mirio felt his smile settle into something blander and more dangerous than his usual beaming grins. “Are you suggesting that I should have let a six-year-old be shot?”

“Not at all,” said Ito, making a mark. “Now, where was Midoriya at this time?”

“He hadn’t caught up to us, yet,” said Mirio. “He was with Sir.”

“Who?”

“Sir Nighteye,” clarified Mirio. “Before that, they were with Rock Lock and some of the others, I believe.”

“But you don’t know for sure.”

“I wasn’t there, so… no, not really. But the exact situation should be on file, from our debrief, and Rock Lock can confirm or clarify.”

“Only the parts he saw,” said Ito. “Did you try to use your quirk after that? Or did you simply assume it was gone?”

“Of course, I tried to use it!” said Mirio, feeling somewhat offended. “I’d trained it to be reflexive. Right after, I kept thinking my quirk would protect me, and moving too slow to dodge attacks. I got really beaten up.”

“And was this before or after Midoriya Izuku arrived?”

“Before, mostly,” said Mirio. “It isn’t like the fight stopped the minute he showed up.”

“And you are certain your quirk stopped working before Midoriya arrived.”

“I’m sure.”

“How did you know you were hit by a permanent quirk-erasing bullet?” asked Ito.

“Well, when my quirk didn’t come back we were pretty sure,” said Mirio.

“But you didn’t know beforehand, for certain, that the bullets were permanent.”

Crap. Mirio had screwed up somewhere in there. He could feel it.

“I think Nemoto and Chisaki were shouting at each other about it during the fight,” said Mirio. “They were pretty proud of it.”

“But you did not know, for sure, that your quirk loss was permanent,” insisted Ito. “There was no way for you to know that their claims about the bullets were true.”

“I mean… not really,” said Mirio. “But, again, here I am without a quirk.”

“Yes… but that isn’t the only way a person can lose a quirk, is it?”

“The Scourge of Kamino was already in Tartarus when the Shie Hassaikai raid took place,” said Mirio. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”

“Did Midoriya Izuku come into contact with you before the end of the day?”

“We talked, yeah,” said Mirio.

“Physical contact.”

“Actually… no,” said Mirio. “After the fight, we were both whisked off to the hospital, separately. Midoriya came to visit me after we both got patched up, he felt guilty about not getting to me and Eri sooner, and--” Oh, dear, he’d have to think back on that conversation a bit more. Later. He swallowed. “--and… Sir’s death…” He looked down at his hands. “Sir… in retrospect, he didn’t like Midoriya very much, but his death hit Midoriya hard. First death in the line of duty. It… it was the first time I’d seen a hero die, too.”

“You’re quite certain he didn’t touch you? At all?” asked Ito, undeterred by Mirio’s not-at-all-feigned grief.

“Pretty sure, yeah,” said Mirio, now annoyed by the investigator’s callousness.

“I see.”

.

Ochako rubbed her eyes, but the darkness stayed. “What,” she said out loud, her voice somehow doing the opposite of echoing, “what happened?”

“I don’t know,” said Todoroki. He had positioned himself so as to guard her back.

“There was a bang,” said Iida, “and then…” He trailed off, clearly finding just as much difficulty in describing the event as Ochako did thinking about it.

“They were talking about All for One getting in,” said Ochako. “You don’t think…?”

“Maybe we timed out the quirk and we’re about to wake up,” said Iida, optimistically.

“Where’s Aizawa-sensei?” asked Todoroki.

“I don’t know,” said Ochako. “He was standing with us… I mean, I couldn’t see you guys at first, either.”

“I’m here,” said Aizawa.

Ochako turned to see their teacher methodically scanning their black surroundings, his eyes red. “Do you know what happened?” she asked. “Do you think this is just, I don’t know, a new transition? A memory?”

“I don’t know,” said Aizawa. He blinked, eyes returning to their normal colors.

“It isn’t,” said an unfamiliar voice. The figure of a young man with uncut white hair slowly faded out of the darkness. “Hello.” He raised a hand. “I’m One. Or, I guess, you can call me Kazuki. Sorry about the landscape. Most of our mental resources were just rerouted.”

“Does this have something to do with that vault thing Izuku mentioned?” asked Ochako.

“Yes, sadly,” said One. “My brother’s broken out. Which means you really shouldn’t be here. All our minds are about to become battlefields. I have some techniques that might help you get out, but--”

“Six told me there was something taken from Midoriya that we could get back, if the vault was open. Is that still a thing?”

One raised a fist to his lips, and pressed down. “You understand, don’t you, that to search for this is to go into my brother’s mind?”

“If it’s to help Midoriya,” said Todoroki, stepping forward, “we’ll do anything.”

“That is very admirable of you,” said One. “I do mean that, I really do, and I’ve seen your heroics and spirit through Izuku’s eyes. But I’m not sending children to fight my brother. Eraserhead, you’d be going alone.”

“I can work with that,” said Aizawa.

“But we won’t be in any real danger!” protested Ochako. “The worst that could happen to us is that we’ll run out of time and wake up. Right?”

“Don’t underestimate my brother. Judging from the fight at Kamino, he lost a lot of quirk control and strength after his first fight with Eight, or else he’d never have been captured. But that’s only if we take it at face value. I don’t doubt that he has five or six plans in place to escape Tartarus and steal every interesting quirk in there, thereby increasing his power exponentially, or even healing himself.”

Ochako blinked. How would anyone heal from… Wait. “Overhaul.”

One’s smile was a bitter thing. “I certainly wouldn’t have put the two of them in the same prison.”

The villain at Kamino, already strong enough to go toe to toe with All Might, with Overhaul's power? Ochako shuddered.

"What did he take from Midoriya?" asked Aizawa. "I'm going to need to know before I do this."

"You're sure you want to do this, then?"

"I haven't decided."

One sighed and pushed his hair back, out of his face. Ochako was struck, momentarily, by how the color of his eyes perfectly matched Izuku's.

"My brother took what he always takes," said One. "His quirk."

"But!" protested Ochako. "He has a quirk! He has..." she trailed off as another revelation hit her.

"He…" said Iida, next to her, "has several quirks."

"He has your quirk," said Todoroki with one-hundred-percent unwavering confidence.

"You had a quirk like All for One," said Aizawa. "But considering what we've seen… the quirk to pass on quirks?"

"That's why you call yourselves by numbers! Because that's the order you had the quirk in!" added Ochako.

"I prefer thinking of it as the ability to share quirks," said One, "but since everyone but Eight and Nine is dead, the distinction is academic."

Aizawa sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Okay, let me get this straight. You and... your brother both had meta quirks. He could… give and take quirks. You could just pass your own quirk on. He decided to become a criminal mastermind. You decided to, I don't know, invest your quirk until someone had enough quirks to fight your brother?"

"And they're all related," said Todoroki.

"And you're all related," said Aizawa with an air of suffering.

"It was significantly less intentional and more complicated than that, but, yes, those are the basics."

"And, for some reason, All Might thought that it was a good idea to pick a teenager for the job."

"In his defense, Eight thought my brother was dead. The one you should really be throwing shade at is Seven."

"I have questions."

One tilted his head. "Normally, I would answer them, but we're running out of time."

Aizawa sighed. "Alright. I'll do it."

"We want to help, too!" said Ochako.

"Three will find a way to ghost murder me if I get you involved in a fight with my brother."

"So would I, incidentally," said Aizawa, "and then I'd expel all of them."

Iida cleared his throat. "Is there any way for us to help without coming into contact with All for One?”

“Yes,” said One, clapping his hands together. “Getting out before that Suzuki fellow does and giving Izuku some good publicity.”

One’s image seemed to waver and split, then, as if Ochako had crossed her eyes. She blinked, hard, but after that there were still two of them.

“I’ll lead you to my brother’s mind,” said one of the Ones, waving at Aizawa.

“I’ll stay and try to help the rest of you get out,” said the second One. “We should - Oh.”

“Oh?” repeated Aizawa. “‘Oh,’ what?”

“Oh, we forgot about someone,” said One.

.

“Oh,” said All for One, catching sight of an anomaly. “Who is this little intruder to our gathering?”

“Just some government lackey,” said Miranda, hands still for now, but in a position where she could likely summon ball lightning in a matter of minutes. “Not someone you can use as a hostage.”

“Actually,” said Ryuji, who, unusually, had yet to disappear from All for One’s senses, “if you could figure out a way to get rid of him, it would be convenient.”

“Two!” snapped Nana.

“Come on, we were all thinking it,” said Ryuji.

“You can’t use a him as a murder weapon,” hissed Nana. “Nine will get in trouble.”

“You’rethe one who repeatedly dropped him from a dozen stories up. And the one who was fantasizing about murdering him in real life.”

“That daydream could have belonged to anyone.”

“It had Gran Torino in it.”

“Eight knows Gran, too!”

All for One coughed, returning the full attention of the vestiges to himself. “Is this a pathetic attempt at a distraction?”

“Do you know any other adjectives?” asked his little brother, who was slouching off to the side with his hands in his pockets.

All for One sneered. “Are you not taking this seriously?”

“Not really, no,” said Kazuki, “and neither are you, or else we’d be fighting already. We both know that what you can affect here is limited.” He started counting off on his fingers. “You can’t bring us back with you, you can’t affect Nine’s morality, you can’t take the stockpile, you--”

“I knew it!” shrieked the little intruder, jabbing a finger at All for One. “I knew it! You’re All for One! Midoriya is working for you!”

“Hey, if you’re going to do the sibling thing and prove me wrong about the whole ‘can’t do anything’ thing, can I suggest you start with him?”

All for One narrowed his eyes and scanned his relatives. There was an uncharacteristic lack of protest.

“Are you briar patching?”

“No,” said Hibiki, “they’re quite serious. I personally would prefer it if you didn’t kill him, but not enough to risk myself.”

He could always trust Hibiki to be blunt and straightforward. He got it from his wonderfully forthright and businesslike mother. He hadn’t loved her like he loved his current, still-living spouse, but she had been refreshing.

“Mood,” said Rokuya.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” said dear, sweet Izuku, raising a hand, “but I’m not actually comfortable letting All for One kill him in front of us.”

“Don’t try that now! You’ve shown your true colors, traitor!”

“Don’t worry, kid,” said Daigoro, “we’re pretty sure he won’t be able to.”

“Torture, then.”

“Not sure he can do worse than Nana did.”

“All I did was drop him!” protested Nana.

“Repeatedly, from a great height,” Miranda reminded her.

Everyone was much more relaxed, now, and… were they ignoring him? They were!

“Are you all under the effect of a quirk?”

“Yeah,” said Kazuki. “How else do you think this is happening?”

“No, I mean… your personalities… they’re all…” He gestured at the One for All users who had stopped to watch him.

“Niichan, I’ve tried to tell you this before, but at least for me, I’m not all that great a person. You just suck so enormously that I look like a saint in comparison.”

“That’s not true!”

“It is,” said Kazuki. “I mean, think back to our first argument. I was less concerned with your overall morality and more concerned with the fact that the demon king alway loses--”

“Excuse you, but I’ve beaten every one of you.”

“No you haven’t,” said Hibiki. “I, at least, died with no input from you.”

“Killing you is obviously different from beating you,” said All for One.

“I mean, by the time you chucked me in that vault, it had evolved to a moral and ethical complaint,” said Kazuki, his one visible eye unfocused in remembrance. “But it started out with me worried about you getting yourself killed.”

“No it didn’t.”

“It really did. You know, I don’t think I ever told you this, but if you’d been twenty percent more ethical? I would have absolutely been on your side.”

“What.”

“I mean, it was you, the government, and ragtag resistance groups, and the government sucked.”

“I can confirm that,” said Miranda, “and it continues to be disgustingly corrupt. But since you’re also swimming through the human experimentation cesspit, we’re staying where we are. Don’t get any ideas.” She ended the sentence with a hiss and fog started rolling in.

“I agree that if you stayed away from the kidnapping, murder, and cult stuff, I would have probably stayed with you,” said Ryuji. “Except you did do all that stuff… Why are we even talking about this?”

“I would add personal freedom to the list of things I’d want from you in the hypothetical world where we stayed on the same side,” said Hibiki, “but, otherwise, I agree.”

All for One blinked several times, a small part of his mind cherishing the fact that he had eyes. “Do you all feel that way?” he asked, oddly touched but also strangely disturbed.

“No,” said Daigoro, “the rest of us hate you and the government just about equally.”

All for One turned his gaze to the quivering ‘government lackey.’ “I see. So, I suppose I have the government to thank for this turn of events. Hm? What did you do to have these soft-hearted fools so upset with you?”

The little man squeaked and jabbed something like an epi-pen into his leg. A second later, he vanished.

“Wait,” said Izuku. “Wait. THAT’S how to get out? That’s so stupid! Can we do that?” The last was said as an aside to Nana.

“Not with him here,” said Miranda. Her voice had dropped back into its more dangerous registers.

“Oh, so we are going to fight after all,” said All for One, clapping his hands and smiling. “What fun.”

.

“I can’t believe you distracted him and got Suzuki to leave like that,” said Aizawa as they stepped out of the fog.

“Well, my brother always did like to hear the sound of his own voice. And be a jerk, but I’m sure that was obvious,” said One. They came to a stop in front of a normal-looking apartment building. One sighed. “This is where we lived,” he said. “Before…” He sighed again.

Aizawa examined One out of the corner of his eyes. He looked tired.

“How much of what you said back there was true?”

“Huh? Most of it, really. My successors built me up as some kind of big good, but I was never anything but a normal guy with a slightly more functional moral compass than my brother.”

From what Aizawa had seen so far, he suspected One was seriously underselling himself.

“I’m sorry,” said One, “but I’m going to have to leave you here. Nine’s quirk should look like a younger version of himself. He couldn’t have been any older than five when it was taken.”

“Anything else I should know about?”

“Sorry, not really… I’ve not exactly been inside my brother’s head. If you manage to find a switch labeled ‘empathy,’ you might take a second to flip it on. Or not. Could be booby trapped. Wouldn’t put it past him.”

“Great,” said Aizawa.

.

“Midoriya-san,” said Mr. Compress. “We’ve been searching for quite some time now, I hate to say it, but I rather suspect that your son has thoroughly escaped.”

“Escaped,” repeated Midoriya. “Like a prisoner.”

Mr. Compress coughed into his fist. Tomura glared at him through a fog of exhaustion. He was wearing a mask. Why bother with the fist at all? Sometimes, Tomura felt like the only sane person on a planet of aliens.

“Honestly, we didn’t even know he was in the area, Midoriya-san. But… Perhaps at this point, the best course of action would be to return to our, uh… temporary base so that you can get some clothes. I’m sure Dabi will have something that can fit you.”

“Or maybe,” said Toga, hesitantly, “Magne might have had something?”

“Excellent idea, Himiko! Yes, I’m sure Magne’s clothes will be much more appropriate.”

“I don’t know that dressing her in a dead woman’s clothes is a good idea?” whispered Twice.

“Normally,” said Midoriya Inko, “I would say that the fires of my anger at Hisashi provide me with enough warmth to scorch the ground I walk on but—” she shivered, “—unfortunately you may be right. I’m not a young woman anymore, and Izuku would want me to be safe and healthy. So that I can give Hisashi a… firm talking to.”

Tomura shuddered. The ice in her tone was more frigid than the toilet seat in their stupid unheated bathroom at night.

… He hoped Sensei didn’t get a mind reading quirk in the near future. He definitely didn’t want him to know about that metaphor.

“Machia, will you be a dear and take us back? And Mr. Compress, would you put Dr. Garaki back in one of your marbles? I suspect he’ll be… more comfortable that way.”

At least Tomura wasn’t the doctor.

Machia leaned down and let them all get on, though not before fixing Tomura with a glare and delivering some glitchy threat about the ‘Little Lord’ and ‘playing nice.’ Completely redundant, what with Midoriya Inko’s much more pertinent and detailed threat regarding the same thing.

“Hey,” said Twice. “Do you guys smell--? It’s like a barbecue!”

Himiko sniffed the air. “It does smell kinda smokey, guys. Do you think Dabi got in a fight, too?”

“With who?” asked Tomura.

“Well, Izu-chan has to still be around here somewhere, right?” asked Himiko, putting a finger to her lips.

Machia sped up.

“It’s probably just the wind blowing someone’s bonfire smoke this way,” said Spinner.

Machia slowed down again.

Tomura frowned. “There shouldn’t be anyone close enough for that,” he said. If Dabi had set the forest on fire and given away their position, he was going to murder him.

Machia sped up again.

They came into sight of their current base and the source of the smoke.

These happened to be the same thing.

“I’m going to kill Dabi,” said Tomura.

“Are we sure it was him?” asked Twice.

“I don’t care.”

[bansheeoftheforest]

Lodgers having to fight a mouse out of Feral Jekyll's mouth.

"GODDAMNIT HENRY JUST LET GO OF IT YOU AREN'T AN ACTUAL ANIMAL-- YOU ARE A SOPHISTICATED DOCTOR AND SOPHISTICATED DOCTORS DO NOT HUNT RODENT LIKE CATS--"

*Angry hissing*

Cue another Lodger walking in on, say, Virginia playing tug-o-war with Henry using the remains of mouse in his mouth.

OR Henry just. Doing like a dog with a toy they really like and just. having the mouse in his mouth but not trying to hurt it so either A) it looks like he is just having his jaws wide open or B) he looks like he tried to carry the mouse like a cat but the mouse was too small so the mouse is getting a free ride in his mouth.