#andy bar

[sinceileftyoublog]

The Children's Hour Interview: The Right-sized Clothes

Photo by Dan Osborn

BY JORDAN MAINZER

As guitarist Andy Bar is figuring out his preferred Zoom settings, the rest of The Children's Hour are talking about animals. David Pajo's impossibly white cat Snowball has joined the picture. Josephine Foster shares a recent dream she had where she had acquired a similarly white, fluffy dog. Pajo reminisces on playing with Superwolves for actual wolves at a sanctuary in southern California. Foster remembers a time she played a show for donkeys in Spain; two of them copulated during the set. The band continues to share unique life experiences--wildlife-related or otherwise--that, were they merely the versions of themselves who had made the album we're about to talk about, even they wouldn't believe.

In what is currently being immortalized in a Bar-drawn comic on the band's Instagram page, the unlikely story of The Children's Hour is as follows: Opera school dropout Foster and School of the Art institute of Chicago student Bar were in a trio called Golden Egg that disbanded before even finishing a song. The two decided they liked writing together, so they continued as a duo, for fun. Foster would craft a song around Bar's written riffs and chord progressions. Eventually, they had some songs, settled on a band named after a Henry Wadsworth Longfellow poem, and played at open mics, bars, and basements around Chicago. They released a self-titled EP, and then an LP called SOS JFK. Legendary venue The Hideout invited them to play a variety show hosted by none other than Zwan. (That was the night they met Pajo, who lent Foster his guitar.) Zwan liked them and asked the very band who at the time were playing tiny venues, to open for them on their tour. In order to fill out The Children's Hour's sound for larger venues, Pajo played drums with them every night. The chemistry then was as palpable as it would be on a Zoom call twenty years later. Though Foster and Bar were set to move from Chicago, they liked their new sound with Pajo, as the now-trio was transforming the old songs and writing new ones. In an effort to capture lightning in a bottle, they recorded with Paul Oldham in Shelbyville, Kentucky.

Over the next twenty years, the band didn't see each other much, and nobody could find the recordings, until Oldham stumbled upon them in his archives. So the three met to mix and master at The Bomb Shelter in Nashville. Pajo asked Drag City--the same label that approached an already signed Foster and Bar that fateful night at the Hideout--whether they'd like to release Going Home, the long-awaited second album from The Children's Hour. That's how we got to where we are, with the album coming out on Drag City tomorrow.

"To me, it's a 20-year-old record," Pajo said of Going Home. "It's a document. I can't comprehend how people will take it." Listening to the record, you can certainly hear the artistic trends of the early 2000s and the indie folk of today it would go on to inspire. The interplay between Foster's wincing lead guitars and Bar's acoustic strumming on "Dance With Me" leads a slightly twee indie pop duet, an anthem for the shy. "Adoption Day", which appeared on SOS JFK, gets a spritely guitar line and coasts along Pajo's bossa nova-esque rhythms. It's also immediately apparent how the band saw their expanded sound. The slow-burning "Rainbow" builds up like Songs: Ohia, while the gentle acoustic strums, wiry bass, and whistles of "Anna"--another rerecord--becomes an upbeat rocker that's closer to that dog. than it is to Joanna Newsom.

Going Home is also a product of the band's inner monologue circa the early 2000s, especially Foster's, as she was living in a major city following upsetting events both personal (a breakup) and collective (9/11). As such, there's a sense of urban loneliness that pervades the album. Foster yearns for the wilderness on "Anna" and "Wyoming" and pokes fun at celebrity culture on "Leader Soldier". Breezy lead single "Bright Lights" is nonetheless dark, like a diary from someone's final hours on Earth. And the title track, which Foster describes as an "old-fashioned pop song," sees her screaming her words of devotion, something that could cause current devotees of her arty folk to double-take.

As it happened between albums one and two, however, songs of The Children's Hour have the potential to grow, to take on a life of their own. They'll be playing at the Hideout on March 26th, with Sabrina Rush on bass, filling out their sound even more. "Music isn't limited by things like time," Pajo said. "One could argue no music is ever finished. You could always pick it up again. There's certainly some music I'm happy to leave behind. But The Children's Hour never felt resolved. Even now, it doesn't have to be a resolution. It's got new legs."

Below, read my conversation with Foster, Bar, and Pajo, edited for length and clarity.

Andy Bar's album art

Since I Left You: A few of the songs from The Children's Hour EP and SOS JFK ended up on Going Home, rerecorded with David. When you recorded this, with a mix of new songs and old songs, were you trying to see what you had with the three of you as opposed to just the duo?

Josephine Foster: I feel like we had made our first record in sort of a rush and weren't very comfortable with the recording process. It was a lovely opportunity, but we had never done any recording in the studio or had a label. Everything felt a little unnatural, if that makes sense. It was formative to...tour with David, for me, because it felt like we finally had the balance. The songs felt in their natural position. The new songs came forth, and everything started to feel confident and make sense. The reason we made an EP first was it was a lovely introduction to this label, Minty Fresh, but we were a really new group. We were very casual. All these things happened to us swiftly, but we hadn't really had a lot of time as a band. It was just our little friendship and fun project. I hadn't sung in a microphone before. Scarcely.

David Pajo: Wow.

JF: I didn't know how to use headphones. I was trying to find my voice after opera singing. I was super self-conscious. We went to the studio, and the gentleman from the record label was well meaning, and not that he was ordering us what to do, but he was an authoritative presence. I was like, "What is this? I don't get it." I felt super nervous the whole [time]. Then, we brought in a couple drummers we had never played with. Our friend came and played bass. [We used] a click track. All of it was new to me. I didn't know Andy as well. Honestly, I never listened to records, really, in my life. I listened to classical music. When you're starting out, you don't know because you've never tried. We made the record, but it was a patchy conglomeration of these sonic experiments. For me, [the songs on the debut are] kind of a prequel. I don't even regard them as finished products. When we met David and played them on tour every night, then we became a band. Then, when we [were making Going Home], we thought, "What are the songs [best] for this trio?" It didn't matter if we had recorded one or two of them on an EP or the [first] record. That was like the wrong-sized clothes.

DP: How did [your experience with the first engineer] contrast with the engineer we worked with?

JF: I never worked with someone again who sat there as a producer in a concept role. I was really uncomfortable with that. I know it's very typical.

DP: Hearing yourself in a microphone, especially with everything you went through, there's no brochure that explains the recording process. Everything sounds so sterile and gross.

JF: It's totally sterelized.

DP: It's really a jarring experience entering a studio like that for the first time, with all these strangers telling you what to do. I'm glad that the Shelbyville recording was the opposite. It was super relaxed. It wasn't labored at all.

JF: Just live in a room together.

Andy Bar: I don't think we did that many takes of any particular song.

SILY: Does Going Home feel like your debut album, then?

JF: To me, it does. When you make a record, you want to listen back and say, "Yes, that's what I want to hear." [laughs]

DP: Also, I think having the digital files transferred to analog tape and mixed analog brought out the best of the recording. It makes it a really pleasing listen. I listen to it all the time. I almost never listen to the records I played on for enjoyment, because I can't objectify myself and separate myself from the recording. [Going Home], I'll put it on, and it changes the atmosphere in the room for whoever is present, even for my kids or anyone who has never heard it.

Bar's comic

SILY: You've said this record is a moment in time. Since this was recorded twenty years ago, you've all released a large number of records, especially Josephine. When you listened to these recordings for the first time after twenty years, were you immediately transported back to when you recorded them?

JF: I was transported back. I felt a sort of longing to share it. There's no smoke and mirrors. There's no studio tricks. It sounds good.

AB: When I was listening to the old stuff for the first time in a while, it did transport me back to the band that I remembered.

SILY: When I listen to it, I definitely hear the sound of other music at that time, not to say that if this was recorded in 2024 it would sound out of place. Maybe this is hindsight, but it sounds like a record from the early 2000's. For someone my age, that carries a ton of nostalgia. It's a formative era in music for me. Do you remember what inspired a lot of the lyrics and narratives at the time?

JF: There are several songs where the lyrics are about living in the city. That was towards the end of all of us being in Chicago. Andy and I, not long after, maybe within the year, moved. After [our tour with Zwan], we didn't do a whole lot. I was in other bands. I was feeling that the city, as much as I love it, was not my habitat. So there's a song about leaving Chicago, called "Rainbow", that's directly about leaving town. "Anna" is about going to live out in the wilderness alone, without a boyfriend.

DP: What's "Going Home" about?

JF: "Going Home" is an old-fashioned pop song, not too specific. "Are you going home, my darling? / Wait for me." A classic folk pop song.

DP: The eternal drama.

JF: The longing for home. "Leader Soldier", however, was a little tied into the idea of fame. That's a lyric that's a bit joking, a satire. "Hey there celebrity, lost your anonymity, cannot do so easily, the things you used to do. Can you walk in company of idleness or frivolity / Can you maintain your privacy?" or something like that. "And we can tell by your color you are of the highest order / You are now a leader-soldier." The absurdity of elevating one person over the other.

DP: The weirdness of notoriety or fame. That's super cool. I didn't realize [that's what it was about.]

SILY: You mention specific places like Chicago and Wyoming on the album, which gives a specific sense of time and place. There are also some narratives, like "Adoption Day", versus something that's more intentionally vague or universal. Was that contrast, between specific and universal, something you consciously put into the songwriting?

JF: When we first were together making songs, it was very therapeutic. We had been in a band with my ex-boyfriend, and there were all these dramas and breakups, and Andy and I stayed friends, so we thought, "Let's just play music together. A gentle place where there's no pressure." We both realized we had this thing in common: He had all these foster kids in his house, and I grew up with adopted kids. We made this song about adoption, because we were thinking of all of these themes of innocence and experience. It's a very bizarre song, in a way. The lyrics are from the point of view of me when I was adopted by my father. "Happy are we / Now we are three / A family / Mother, father." Andy would come in with these hooks, an atmosphere, and I would think, "What is this conjuring up?" I'd try to find a lyrical theme, which I hadn't done much of in my life, working with someone else's raw materials. I find it very hard. Andy's got such a beautiful, colorful, rich ideas as the compost. What do you remember about "Adoption Day", Andy?

AB: I was excited when we decided [to write about] what Josephine was talking about, because it was personal and special to me. My parents were foster parents who took care of a lot of kids.

SILY: "Adoption Day" is one of the songs on both records. I don't know whether this is merely a product of David joining, but the huge difference to me between the records is the use of dynamics on Going Home. There's a little bit of that on SOS JFK, but I was really taken by it on this record. Can you talk about the main sonic differences from your perspective?

JF: I feel like that record was sort of demos that were being supervised by some manager you don't know. There was a stiffness that loses the coherence [from splicing takes.] I don't do that at all anymore [when recording;] I just listen for the best take. We'll look for the most interesting blemishes. David is so musical and dynamic, he's feeding this brilliant energy, this thing that gives life. His presence is transformational.

AB: He just added so much. There were new songs like "Dance With Me" that we were working on that we couldn't have done without the confidence we gained on the tour and playing with David.

DP: You go from playing the Hideout to on tour with Billy Corgan. It's intense. I feel like I had the best job of all. There was the songwriting collaboration and the relationship between you guys and just the vibe. In that time, I was living in a really jaded, music business-oriented way I'm really happy to never have seen again. Children's Hour was this ray of hope and light. I felt like my job as a drummer was just to stay out of the way, almost to just be a metronome. To not caricaturize the dynamics just because we were going to be on bigger stages. Just keep it steady and quiet. I could lay into it a little bit more [live] to wake people up because they get bored and fall asleep easily. [laughs]

It was really perfect. It was done with zero ambition. It wasn't like, "We have to make a record with pop songs and make everything hi-fi." It was, "Let's record what we have because we're not going to have much time after this." I guess we knew that we were all going our separate ways afterwards or had seen we didn't have time to play together. The recording seems really light-hearted and pure in that way, too. It's what I needed at a perfect time for me, personally. Music that comes from a pure place to center me again so I'm not distracted by the garbage that comes along with being a musician. [laughs]

SILY: It's come full circle: You're playing at the Hideout next month! What's the experience been like trying to "adapt" these songs to the live stage? Are you playing songs from the first record in addition to this one?

JF: That's a very good question.

DP: I don't know if we've even gotten that far yet.

AB: We're at least playing most, if not all of the songs on the new album. From there, we'll decide how to fill out the rest of the setlist.

JF: Andy's a standup comic, so he needs to start getting some jokes ready.

DP: That's a great idea!

JF: Sabrina will be playing, so we'll be able to have David's wonderful bass lines represented live. That will be the first time we'll have heard it all live in that sense. That's the only thing we didn't record live. David put the bass lines on [separately]. I think it was in the same session, though, so it was all coherent to that moment.

DP: My idea was to put bass on all the songs. I was like, "You know what, I might have to come back to this." 20 years later, I came back to it. They were all complex to me.

JF: It was just "Rainbow" that you put bass lines on 20 years later, right? Like a little cherry on top.

SILY: This might be premature, but do you think you'll write new songs together?

AB: We're definitely gonna jam with each other and be creative together. You don't know what will come from that, but that's how we are.

DP: Relearning the songs is going to be the priority and take up most of my time. Once we're at that point and confident again, it doesn't seem like anyone's against learning a cover song or playing new songs.

SILY: What's the background behind the album art?

AB: In my head, it took place in the Hideout. It's the best I can remember, an image of playing a random club in Chicago.

DP: There's no pictures of the three of us together. You were actually drawing from memory. It's really cool. It's a nicer way than promo photos.

AB: We're relying on our mental photography. I'm also doing comics for this release drawing on our memory.

JF: We ran into this thing where Drag City kept going, "We need a photo of the band!" We couldn't photograph ourselves. We must have been right on the cusp of the digital explosion. I found one grainy photo my mother took of us all that's the only photo of us playing live. We were playing in a massive place. Nowadays, you'd have tons of photos no matter what. We must have been right before that. The Zwan fans were just jamming to us and brought their cameras out later. There's not any documentation of us live.

DP: The Internet hadn't really taken over yet.

AB: There are still pixelated pictures coming out from the time.

JF: Zwan was in the tour bus, and our car broke down after the first show. Some girl lent us her car for the whole tour. She was like, "Just take my Jeep!" We had a big atlas, would look at the city part of the atlas, go downtown, and just ask directions to get to the venue. We didn't have any GPS or anything. When I think about that, it just cracks me up.

DP: There were some soundchecks where you barely made it. You were always on time, but you had just gotten through some huge drive. Did you ever have to leave after the show while Zwan was still playing?

JF: Yeah, to go to a motel closer to where we were playing the next day.

DP: You were thrown into touring having barely played actual rock shows. It's remarkable.

JF: We regarded it as a once-in-a-lifetime thing. We weren't looking for it, and it was probably never going to come again.

AB: You guys were incredibly sweet. Of course, you probably liked our music. I liked you guys personally.

DP: For all the bands that opened for Zwan, The Children's Hour was the only one we always wanted to see and hang out with. It was always a breath of fresh air when you guys were there.

SILY: So what's this press photo taken by Dan Osborn?

JF: He photoshopped David in the doorway!

DP: Theoretically, you could have any drummer. You could photoshop John Bonham in there.

SILY: Or Neil Peart.

AB: I'll photoshop a four-armed drummer in there, Neil Peart and John Bonham.

DP: Or [Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen's] arm.

[axolotlclown]

Ok, none of you know what's going on. None of you understand why so many women and young streamers are stepping forward right now. None of you understand why this has to be public.

Multiple large streamers have used their fame, influence, and money to manipulate and abuse those they see as below them. So long as they continue to have fame, influence, and money, this cycle will not end.

This is bigger than just individual cases of sexual assault or other abuse. This is a break down of a much larger problem within the entertainment industry.

These women are telling stories about very powerful men in this space. They are sharing stories of abuse and manipulation. This is very scary for them—it could ruin their careers or lives.

Stop saying "they should have handled this privately." This isn't a private matter. So long as these men have power, they will hurt more women. They aren't sorry. They won't play fair.

By trying to stay silent and bury these accusations, you are ensuring these women never know peace. You are ensuring that more women get hurt.

One day your boss will assault you, and all the men in your life will blame you for waiting as long as you did to speak about it. They will find any reason to blame you. They don't want to get rid of your boss. They hope that one day, they can assault a woman just like you.

This is fucking serious. This is real life. This isn't just some fucking fandom drama that we can bury and move on from. These are real life issues that require real meaningful discussion.

Stop trying to discredit these women just because your streamer is in trouble. You are part of the fucking problem.

[oxventure]

💀 DEADLANDS RETURNS THIS FRIDAY💀 When sinister forces threaten one of their own, our party leaps into action on a new adventure they may not all survive! 🫘 🤠 Tune in to Oxventure: Deadlands weekly on YouTube and The Oxventure Podcast! 🔗 Get notified when the episode drops

[julykings]

from april

[pixelatedquarter]

guys andy got the xvx heart tattoo at their wedding!

[emmafallsinlove]

Not a single minute. You really are the first.

[deadlybloodshade]

Some Andy doodles for the soul (Ps in the icecream image Ann bought him another one so do not worry 🥳💕)

[spocks-kaathyra]

how did you make those holy shit!!!

jfjskdk okay I'll take any excuse I get to talk abt this more

How I made my Cardassian prosthetics

Disclaimer: I'm no expert, it's my first time doing this!! All the resources I used can be found online. In fact, here's a playlist of all the youtube videos I followed, in case you don't want to read the whole post. You can pretty much make any facial prosthetics following these steps, not just Cardassian ones.

What you'll need:

Plaster bandages, plaster of Paris (a lot more than is pictured here), modeling clay, and liquid latex. You'll also need some things you probably already have around the house, like vaseline (or cooking oil), plastic wrap, wood glue, rubbing alcohol, q-tips, cotton balls, and setting powder (or baby powder).

Step 1: Face cast

The goal here is to make a plaster copy of your face that you can sculpt your prosthetics on, by covering your face with plaster bandages and then casting that in plaster of Paris. This is the video tutorial I followed for this step. There are many methods, and you'll find tutorials for all of them on youtube, but this is the easiest way if you're doing it by yourself, and it results in a perfectly useable face cast for our purposes. And, if you're cosplaying Garak like me, it's a great way to get into character by experiencing claustrophobia for the first time in your life!! (Jk it's not actually that bad. I lived.)

The video explains the process better than I could, but here's some tips I learned from doing it! Wear a shirt that you don't mind ruining. Go a bit closer to your eyes than I did here. When you're propping up your mask in a bowl, make sure you're not squishing any parts of it or tilting it! I ended up with a dent in the chin of my face cast because I accidentally dented the mask while I was casting it. And make sure you have enough plaster of Paris! I probably used 2-3 pounds for this part. Here's what I ended up with, before sanding or sealing it with wood glue:

Step 2: Sculpting

This is pretty self explanatory, but also probably the hardest part. Just use lots and lots of reference photos. I've got a pretty good stash for Garak, if anyone's interested hdjkfhk. I found that gifs made better references than still photos, since they give you a better sense of the 3D shape. You want to make sure you're using modeling clay that doesn't dry. You don't need any fancy sculpting tools! I used my trusty palette knife to get the small details, but you could probably accomplish the same thing with, like, a spoon and a toothpick. It depends on what kind of clay you're using, but you can dip your finger in a solvent to smooth out the surface of the clay and blend the edges into the face cast. I used rubbing alcohol, but I also heard people recommend acetone. Once you're happy with your sculpt, you can move onto the next step!

Step 3: Casting negatives

This step is technically optional. The video I followed also outlines an easier way that skips this step, by simply building your prosthetics directly on the sculpt. But casting negatives allows you to get a lot more fine detail, and a smoother finish on the final prosthetics, so that's what I chose to do. Basically, you pour plaster of Paris over your sculpt, and it hardens into a mold you can use to build your prosthetics on.

Again, the video explains it better, but some tips! If it's possible with your sculpt, do it in small pieces instead of the whole face at once. I did the chin, nose, and forehead separately. If you try to do the whole face, there's a greater chance of it getting stuck or breaking. Of course, if you were doing, say, Odo, then it might not be possible to do it in multiple pieces. Another thing to watch out for:

If your underlying face cast has any "undercuts," or places where it's, like, concave, then if plaster gets into those areas and hardens, your face cast and your negatives will lock together, and you won't be able to use either of them. For me I was worried about the sides of my nose and under my bottom lip. As long as those parts are filled in with clay, then you should be fine. It's okay if your clay sculpt has undercuts! You can see in the (shamelessly stolen) diagram that their sculpt has a lot of undercuts, but that's okay because the clay is soft and won't lock with the plaster, it'll just come off. The video I got the diagram from was also pretty helpful, even if it's meant for casting with different materials than I used. Here are the completed negatives:

Step 4: Making the prosthetics!

Now you have negatives! Your sculpt may or may not be intact, but if your negatives turned out okay then that's fine. This step is also covered in the video for step 3. Using a stippling sponge, foam brush, or q-tip, stipple thin layers of liquid latex onto your negatives. I found that a q-tip worked best, even if it took longer to cover larger areas. Make sure the edges are very thin, so you can blend them into your skin when you apply the prosthetics. Wait for a layer to dry before adding more latex on top of it, or you'll end up with fucked up results like I had:

(Left: first draft, where I didn't let it dry enough before layering more. Right: second draft. Much better!)

Build up bulky areas with pieces of cotton balls, then cover the cotton with a thin layer of latex. Emphasis on thin! It'll take forever to dry if you saturate your cotton with too much latex. This step mostly involves a LOT of waiting. When the latex is fully dry, brush everything with a liberal amount of setting powder or baby powder to prevent the latex from sticking to itself as you peel it out of the mold.

And now you have your prosthetics! You can tear away some of the excess latex at the edges to make it fit your face better. I ended up tearing away almost all of the edges around the eye ridges, so it would blend better and I wouldn't have to get adhesive so close to my eyes. Tear, don't cut! It'll result in a more natural edge that's easier to blend. This video shows how to apply prosthetics. Use whatever prosthetic adhesive you want! I used spirit gum because it's what I had on hand.

Now you can go forth and live out your lizard alien dreams!!

[puck-luck]

bc it all i can think about; im returning to add onto my previous rant of oral fix!luke, namely, him sucking on your fingers. also i didn’t proofread so idk how coherent it is

he was needy all day, practically attached to your hip, so when you finally lowered yourself down onto his dick, he was puddy under you. You would start teasingly slow, rocking back and forth, moaning when his tip nudged at your g-spot. he would be blabbering incoherent sentences with every roll of your hips, the only eligible words “fuck, feels so good, feels so good baby” and little whimpers.

When you sped up, now beginning to lift yourself of his dick and back down again, he nearly screamed. He was soooo pent up :( it just felt too good! he just needed his pretty girl to spoil him.

It would get to the point that his hands were permanently attached to your hips, his moans echoing through the room, accompanied by the squelch of your cunt and the plap of your hips hitting his. He would get so vocal, and a little bit of drool would dribble down his chin, and you’d just coo at him, saying stuff like “aww, feels good huh? got you all worked up, pretty boy. that’s it, uh huh, good boy”

When his moans begin to blend into screams, you slow your movements, frowning at him.

“gotta be quieter, love, or do you want everyone knowing how good i fuck you, hm?”

and so you would press your fingers (which were only recently rubbing on your clit, still covered in your slick) against his lips as you sped up again, and he would be so eager, his lips immediately wrapping around your fingers to taste the sweetness of your pussy. you’d smile, rubbing his cheek when he whimpered and bucked into you, making you flinch in pleasure.

it would go on for a while, him moaning around your fingers while he humped upwards into you, tip nudging that little sponge spot inside you everytime your bodies met.

when he finally came, his sped spilling into the condom, you could’ve sworn he passed out. his only tell tail signs were the whimpers and shaking of his hips, bringing you to your own orgasm.

afterwards, when you had cleaned the two of you up, both of you lay together, him smiling with his face resting on your breasts. You would play with his curls, smiling as you both dozed off into the best sleep you’ve had in a while

Guys I can't even begin to describe how I feel about this.

It took me. Five minutes. Going line by line. GIGGLING. CUTTING MYSELF OFF SO I WOULDN'T READ AHEAD. before i finished this.

i was whimpering like fucking Luke. are you KIDDING me?

take a nobel peace prize. i want to shake your hand and, in a biblical sense of respect, wash your feet.

motherFUCKER.

you have a gift. and i'm screaming, melting into a puddle on the floor as i reread this AGAIN because it's JUST. THAT. GOOD.

[tokiro07]

Google, show me this guy's censor bar

[lizasweetling]

like Seminars on how to pick up women and become an alpha male have way more impact on the person reading them than the people that person tries to influince, I suspect Tweedle very well might be more well liked

Also hey, didn't you not like mind control?? or was it just the Other's mind control you objected to? because that had been on the (very short) list of your virtues, it'd be a shame to lose it.

[cannibal-pentecost]

Fr Ashley is a bad mother and you have to love her anyways. There will be no headcanonin her as a great mom in this house

She can be a better mother than Renee, I can allow this, but no further.

Ashley Graves would not be a "good" mother, even with meds, even with a stable environment.

Hell, she could even be a loving mother, but she very much cannot be a good one.

[twixnmix]

Dolly Parton with New York Giants football players Andy Headen, William Roberts and Lionel Manuel at Gotham Bar & Grill in New York City on January 14, 1987.

[ramp-it-up]

Bar All Else

Pairing: Barkeep!Andy Barber x Reader x Barkeep! Frank (Endings, Beginnings)

Summary: Its Endgame for you three.

Part 12 of The Bar AU. This happens right after Good Morning.

Word count: 5K

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. S/MUT! Read at your own risk. This has Everything: Angst, fluff, family holiday, coming out, polyamory, mlm. PWP, digital p, double p, anal, extreme oral, boys kissing, degradation kink, fun in the shower, praise kink, proposal in a home under construction (I had to do it.)

A/N: Please heed the warnings. Remember, feedback is gold. Let me know what you think!

I no longer have a tag list. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

The next morning, afternoon really, Andy and Frank somehow untangled themselves from you and were busy in the kitchen, making food that smelled divine. You sat up, stretched, and smiled, your body deliciously sore from the night’s, and morning’s activities.

Your heart skipped a beat at the thoughts running through your mind as you heard their soft murmuring from the other room. They were trying not to wake you, even though it was one o’clock in the afternoon. 

Doubts plagued your mind. Could you actually have both of them, could you be committed to two men? Did they really want a future with you, or just sex?

You chewed your lip and began to overthink as you took a quick shower and dressed in one of Andy’s flannels. You caught Frank and Andy smiling at each other over coffee as you padded into the kitchen.

“...Morning…”

Your voice was timid, shy even, and as they looked over and took you in, you were blushing as if you three hadn’t shared the most intimate acts a few hours ago.

“Good morning, Baby Doll.” 

Frank smiled at you and moved to come and kiss you on your forehead. You smiled up at him, basking in the warmth he gave you. Andy took you in wearing his shirt and in Frank’s arms, and his heart picked up pace.

How could a sight be more perfect? He moved toward you.

“Morning, Sweetheart. Did you rest well?”

You embraced Andy with your other arm, beaming up at him. 

“I slept like a rock. I was tired out for some reason.”

You winked up at him and smirked at Frank, realizing that this situation was definitely really happening.

“Hmmmm.”

Andy took your shoulders in his hands and looked at your face, concerned, as Frank moved to dish up the food.

“Are you alright? We didn’t hurt you, did we?”

Andy was terrified at this moment. You saw the fear in his eyes and stood on tiptoe to peck his lips.

“I feel divine, well used, and satisfied. For now. Daddy.”

Andy exhaled and pulled you into him, eyes darkening. You could feel him thicken through his sweatpants.

“And we aim to keep you that way…”

Andy stared down at you, thinking that you really were a goddess. 

Frank cleared his throat behind you. 

“But first, let’s eat.” 

You raised your eyebrow over your shoulder at your other lover.

“Food, Baby Doll,” Frank intoned.

You giggled as Andy swept you off your feet and onto a barstool.

“What do you want, Baby Doll? An omelet, or French toast with bacon?”

You looked between the two men, eyes twinkling.

“Who says I can’t have both?”

You spent the lazy Sunday afternoon watching movies and pretending the outside world didn’t exist. Frank and Andy lavished attention, food, and water on you, making sure that you were alright. They didn’t want you to bolt again. You sensed their anxiety.

But you couldn’t stay in denial all day.

Andy was reading with your head in his lap, and Frank was massaging your feet at 7:02 pm as you scrolled your phone you let them have the truth.

“Guys…”

They both looked at you.

“I gotta go home. I have to go to work in the morning.”

Frank’s face fell and you looked up to see that Andy’s mirrored his. You sat up.

“I know. It’s been a beautiful weekend, but if I stay here, I would never want to leave. And we all have jobs. Time to go back to the real world.”

“This could be the real world, Baby Doll…”

You cocked your head at Frank and Andy spoke before you could ask your question.

“What he means is that we’d like to book you every Saturday night for the foreseeable future, Sweetheart.”

Andy and Frank shared a look as your heart melted. 

“And maybe a couple of nights during the week?”

Frank’s voice was hopeful. You thought this was going fast, but hell, you had wasted enough time. You smiled at them. 

“That sounds real nice.”

Your heart warmed as both of your men kissed you on the cheek. It was so pure. You all stood up they watched as you went into the bedroom to grab some of Andy’s sweats and the rest of your things. They had their heads together when you came out, but stopped and led the way to take you home. This time, when they took you home, you let them into your small apartment and it seemed that they filled up every available space. It was after 8 pm and you already felt lonely, although they were still there.

“I have something to tell you.”

Frank stood up straight, and Andy clenched his jaw, as if they were bracing form something. You were glad that you’d waited until you got home, or they would not have let you leave.

“I love you. I love you both.”

You felt hands on your waist, pulling you between them in your small living room. You peered into the ocean blue eyes in front of you.

“Say it again. Say that you love me.”

“I love you Frank.” 

You smiled up at him, realizing it was the first time.

“Fuck, I love you too, Baby Doll.”

You kissed him, pressing your body full length against his. Andy was right there bedside you. You reached for him while you were kissing Frank. When Frank released you, you turned and kissed Andy.

“And I love you, Andy”

“Fuck, I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you. You know that,”

You kissed Andy tenderly. Then you leaned against the doorframe to your bedroom as they stood on either side of you. You felt like a rabbit in a wolves’ den, about to be devoured. The tension was thick but no one moved.

“So, what’s the rest of your night look like?”

Andy’s voice was gruff as he eyed your small bed. His mind was whirling with possibilities. Frank’s warmth behind you had you weak. 

“I-I was going to take a nice, hot bath. And then go to bed. I usually get up at 6:30 to go to the gym, but…”

“You’ve had your workout already?”

Andy had that look in his eye. You gulped. Frank’s hands were on your arms as the goosebumps rose on your skin.

“It’s just the thought of you, wet in the bath, wet with sweat. I need your liquid on my tongue…”

Frank had a way with words, and his satin voice in your ear had you trembling.

“And we know you’re probably sore.. So you don’t have to if you don’t want to…”

Andy’s voice was a little bit desperate. As if he hadn’t had you and Frank a few hours before. He was insatiable.

“We just need to taste you again…see you cum…hear you tell us that you love us some more…” 

Frank was practically begging. You felt so powerful. You stepped away from them to catch your breath. You shook your head. These boys were dangerous, looking like every girl’s fantasy.

“Well. My bed is small. But my shower is pretty huge. And since I’m already wet… why don’t you join me?”

You said this as you left a trail of the clothes you were wearing on the floor. Andy and Frank followed suit, all three of you naked as you greedily reached for one another under the hot spray of your showerhead.

Andy and Frank left you softly snoring in your small double bed that night, satisfied that they had sufficiently put you to sleep. You dreamed of them all night long.

You awoke to the sweetest Good Morning texts from them in the group chat. Despite your physical reminder of the weekend’s activities, you felt amazing and ready to conquer the week.

Your friends at work only smiled and winked at you, all except for Tia, who wanted all the details. You told her a little, but not everything, and all of your people supported you. 

This really could be a thing, you thought.

For the next three weeks, you lived in a blissful bubble, dating Frank and Andy separately one night a week each, and going as far as heavy petting with each individually. You saved the good good for the weekend when you were all together, and it was only then that you let yourself fully succumb.

When the weekend before Thanksgiving rolled around, you felt guilty for having plans to go home.

“It’s okay, Baby Doll. It’s only for a few days.”

You looked at Andy across the room as Frank held you in his arms. From the way your bearded lover clenched his jaw, you knew he didn’t like it, but he’d never admit it.

“He’s right Sweetheart, you’ll be back in no time. Remember that we love you.”

“And I love you both, too.”

The train ride home gave you time to think. You actually felt like you were leaving your real family behind in Boston. You wanted Frank and Andy. For as long as they wanted you, and you weren’t ashamed of it. You had to tell your family because you weren’t going to hide.

At Thanksgiving dinner, you kept peeking at your phone and smiling into your lap. God, you missed your two sweethearts. You answered the question of who you were texting when your mother asked. It was a big hit at the dinner table. The room erupted into scandalized expressions of fear and hate, but your mother surprised you when she defended you.

“Shut the hell up! She’s a smart girl, I mean woman. I don’t think she would be with someone who didn’t treat her right, now would you?” 

You stared at the person you thought would kick you out of the house when you told her, a lump in your throat.

You shook your head and smiled. 

“No, ma’am.” 

“And two good men? Tuh.  Let me know if you find any more.”

Your mother winked at you and then asked for someone to pass the mashed potatoes. 

After a heart to heart while cleaning up the kitchen that night, you floated off to sleep on a cloud of hope and possibilities, and when you boarded the train back to Boston, you were excited for an unnamed reason. 

You were greeted at the train station by Andy and Frank.

“Hey Sweetheart.”

Andy smiled at you and gave you a chaste kiss and hug.

“Baby Doll!”

Frank gave you a bear hug and twirled you around before he put you down.

You told them you were exhausted from traveling and they offered to take you to Andy’s place, promising to just hold you and be good. You just smiled and nodded, wanting to spend time with them.

The fireplace was on and the guys had started putting up Christmas decorations, including a new buffalo plaid throw over the back of Andy’s huge couch.

“Well this is cozy!”

You murmured as you took your jacket and scarf off and revealed a low cut thin pink cashmere sweater and jeans. 

Frank noticed that you weren’t wearing a bra and Andy’s eyes went to the tight jeans. They gave each other a look.

You went to the kitchen island to get out the popcorn popper.

“Let’s watch a scary movie!”

Frank and Andy hung back, watching you and your body move in the kitchen. They whispered to each other, remembering that you were tired.

“She’s trying to kill us.”

“No question.”

“Be strong.”

“Yes.”

“What are you guys mumbling about?

You turned around with the bowl of popcorn, bringing some kernels to your mouth, that Ruby Woo making your lips pop, especially when you sucked the butter off your fingers.

“I’m gonna get thirsty. Got anything I can drink?”

You looked up at them with those tits in that sweater and those lips and…

“You want water or spirits?” 

Andy cleared his throat and moved behind the island.

“Mmmmmm. Water.”

“So fucking cute, Baby Doll.”

“Thank you Frank.”

You batted your eyes at him as Andy handed you the ice water. You grabbed it with a smile and a kiss on his cheek, then moved to the couch with your goodies. Frank looked at your lip prints on Andy’s jaw and his silly look on his face and was jealous for an instant.

Frank reclined on the sofa, toeing his shoes off and putting his feet up on the coffee table while Andy got the movie ready to go. You sat next on Frank, but upright.

Frank patted the cushion beside him.

”Don’t you want to relax, Baby Doll?” 

You smiled and just crossed your legs, indicating your pink high heeled boots. Frank’s kryptonite..

“My shoes. Don’t want to get the couch dirty.” 

Frank licked his lips and started sweating as Andy shook his head. Frank was on his knees in an instant.

“Let me.”

You smiled, leaned back arching your spine and presenting your foot. The action made your breasts poke through your sweater and Andy squirmed. Watching Frank slowly and delicately take your shoes off didn’t make his pants any looser.

Frank was now wearing his own silly grin as he took his place beside you and you scooted next to him, curling your feet under you.

Andy cleared his throat.

“Are we ready?”

You nodded and smiled at him. And then Frank. This felt so good. You were content, wedged between your darling men, until the jump scares started, and then you were frightened, turning and hiding your face in Frank’s shirt, leg thrown over his. Andy wasn’t mad, because at this point, you were giving him all the ass. He slid closer to you and Frank and placed the throw over all three of you. And you fell asleep between the two people who were very likely to be the loves of your life.

Andy and Frank took you to brunch the next day, and to look at the unfinished condo space next to The Bar. The energy changed as you walked into the unfinished space, and as you looked between them, you saw excitement dancing in their eyes. The smell of raw wood and plaster invaded your senses and your heart rate rose. You got excited as well for all of the potential around you.  They both watched you as you slowly turned around, taking in the structure, which was basically an open concept for the entire floor, except for a couple of rooms roughed out on one end.

“We have about another month to finish the drywall, painting, and finishes.”

“Wow! This would be a great space for entertaining!”

Andy and Frank gave each other a look before Andy spoke.

“That’s what we were thinking.” 

“We’d have a little bar, and a kitchenette over here to help with food, and then open space for a table and mingling. This would be the guest suite for visitors.” 

Andy motioned to the roughed-out rooms.

Your smile slipped a little.

“What?” 

Frank picked up on your cues so well.

“Well… It’s your space, I was just thinking…” 

You looked at them.

 “I’ll just shut up. That sounds nice.”

“No, Sweetheart, ‘d Love your input.”

Frank spoke up.

“Yeah. The woman’s touch.”

You smiled at them, grinning again. 

“Well, I think the kitchenette and bar should be over there, it will improve the flow and allow space for more seating over here.”

“That’s an amazing idea. And you’re absolutely right.”  

Andy looked at Frank.  

“Why didn’t we think of that?”

Frank smirked at him. “Because we’re idiots.”

“True.” 

Andy smiled at him and then held his hand out to you.

“Let’s look at the rest of the space.”

You smiled and took Andy’s hand and followed him up the stairs, with Frank trailing behind you.

You emerged into another open space, but with a wall of windows on one side.

“This will be the more informal living space, with a movie screen there with more comfortable seating,” Frank pointed to a blank wall, “and the chefs kitchen over there.”

“I like that, and then whoever is prepping food, or if both of you are prepping, you can still see the screen.  You will have shades, automatic, I hope?”  

You looked at Andy and Frank.

“Both of us prepping food?” 

Andy moved closer to you, coming behind you and clasping you around the waist, lowering his head to brush your neck with his lips. 

“So you will have us cooking for you all the time?”  

You allowed yourself to fall into his embrace and hummed, inhaling the spice of his cologne for a minute until you really heard what he’d said. You hadn’t realized that you had closed your eyes until you opened them to see Frank staring at you with a silly look on his face.

“Wait, what?”  

You turned out of Andy’s grasp as Frank went and stood beside him.

“Before you freak out, there’s another floor.” 

Frank grabbed your hand this time.

“But…”

He ignored you as he led you up the stairs. You three came out on the third floor which had several walls for rooms constructed. They led you through three rooms of about the same size with two rooms off of each, and then a fourth, larger than the rest, with one semi-large room connected to it.

“What is all this?” 

Your heart was beating fast at the implication of what was happening.

“These are bedrooms, three with closets and en suites, and one with just an en suite bathroom.”

Frank indicated the largest room. You looked at them and went in to inspect the large room. It had a huge window and the bathroom was a very good size.

“We want the largest bed they make in here,” Andy looked at you as he spoke.

“One big enough for three people,” Frank responded.

Your mouth dropped open.

“And in the bathroom, a huge jetted tub,” Frank continued.

“One big enough for three people.” Andy looked so sincere. 

You were floored.

“Ummmm. So four bedrooms for how many people?”

“Three. We figured that individuals might want your privacy at times. But there might be times when we’d all agree to be together.”  

Andy was definitely nervous now. But you thought about what he said about the big bed.

“So these three people might all sleep together, or sleep separately?”

“Or maybe two would sleep together if one wants to be alone?” 

Frank’s voice made you turn toward him. 

“We didn’t want anyone forced to be in a shared space.”

They thought of everything.

“Sounds like an interesting arrangement.” 

You went to the window and looked out over Boston Harbor. It would be a beautiful view to wake up to. And to do it in between two beautiful men would be an added bonus.

You heard Andy’s voice next.

“And when children come, we can get a house out in the country, with lots of land for them to run around.”

You gasped and turned back to them to see the space where they had been empty. You looked down to see Andy and Frank both down on one knee. 

“Is that something you’d be interested in?”

Your hands were up around your mouth, and you didn’t know if you were breathing. This couldn’t be what you thought it was.

“What exactly are you two asking me?”

Frank spoke next.

“When you went to spend the holiday with your family, we decided that we couldn’t let another come and go without telling you how much we both want a family with you.”

You looked away from Frank to Andy, whose eyes tried to hold yours, but you couldn’t get caught up. Your eyes darted around the unfinished room. Everything was happening so fast.

Andy, then Frank reached into their pockets and brought out two rings, seemingly odd pear shaped diamonds in gold bands.

“We know it seems like a short time since we got back together, but we wanted to do this last year.”

The men looked at each other, and then back at you. Then, in perfect tandem, they said:

“Y/N Y/LN, will you marry us?”

You mouth was hinged open as you stared at them.

“You are the woman of my dreams, Baby Doll.”

“I can’t imagine life without you, Sweetheart.”

The blood was rushing in your ears and you opened your mouth.

Suddenly everything stopped and you yelled, “Yes! Hell yes I will marry you!”

You were in shock at what you’d just said as Frank and Andy both picked you up. Then they put you down and placed both rings on your hand, Andy’s first, and then Frank’s.  When they were both on your hand, the two diamonds formed a heart. Suddenly, the view was blurry.

“Oh my gosh. Andy! Frank!”

You looked up at them with tears falling down your face.

“Is this really happening?”

“You bet your ass, Baby Doll.” 

Frank beamed down at you as he kissed you.

“Absolutely, Sweetheart. You’re stuck with us. Both.”

“For life,” you said, smiling at both your men. 

Suddenly the energy changed. 

“Let’s go back to my place. To celebrate. With champagne.”

The look on Andy’s face made you shiver as you remembered your last encounter with Moët in the storeroom. Frank remembered watching that encounter on the camera, and you thought of that as you looked at him, remembering his confessions you over the last few weeks.

“Let’s go.”

You were more than ready.

If you didn’t know any better, you would think that your men were trying to get you tipsy. You were on your third glass of bubbly while you admired your ring on the couch as both men’s hands were up your shirt and they marked up your neck. You giggled, until Frank thrust his hand down your jeans, parting the thick lips of your cunt as Andy took over teasing both breasts.

“Oh.. oooohhh. Yes, Daddy. Pinch them harder.”

You arched your back as Andy did as you requested and Frank thrust two fingers inside you. You rode Frank���s fingers as Andy leaned down to minister to your nipples, sucking and licking them with an urgency.

“Missed you while you were away. So much.”

“It was just a couple of days, Silly.”

You laughed at your serious fiancé.

“Any time away from you is an eternity, Baby Doll.”

Frank leaned up to kiss you while he fingered you, then pulled Andy’s head up to slip his tongue into his mouth.

You came on Frank’s hand as you watched the two men kiss. They pulled apart, panting and staring at each other. Then they turned their eyes on you. They stood up as you did and watched you take off your pullover and watched as you unbuttoned your jeans and peeled them down your legs, showing them your perfect bottom.

“Can I have you both?”

“What a question.”

Frank chuckled and started undressing, watching Andy stroke himself outside of his pants as he watched both you you.

“I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

Andy slowly undressed as he watched you reach for Frank to come around the back of the couch which you were facing. You leaned over and kitten licked his tip as the younger man threw his head back. Once naked, Andy came behind you and stroked your hair, running his hand down your spine, causing you to give him that arch. You looked behind you as you stroked Frank’s rigid cock.

“Stop teasing the man and give him your throat.”

You watched Andy get on his knees and start stroking himself as he parted your lips. Frank turned your head back around and painted your lips with his precum before shoving his cock in your mouth, filling your airway with his flesh. You moaned around him as Andy’s tongue licked you from clit to ass, inserting his tongue in every crevice. He played with your nub like taffy and had you, and by proxy Frank, on edge in no time.

You watched Andy and Frank on the bed kissing passionately. You got wet just watching them, it was so hot. Their cocks were so hard. Your heart started beating faster as you climbed on the bed, the kiss between them becoming a three-way. All three of your tongues met and danced. Soon, Andy and Frank broke away and their lips, tongues, and hands traveled to your neck, your ear, your breasts, or any sensitive part of your body that they knew so well. You knew you’d never experience such intense sensations than having these men’s hands and mouths on you.

Frank detached himself and lay back on the bed, his hard cock waving in the air. You moved to touch him, but he stopped you, grabbing your hand and pulling you up toward him.

“On my face Baby Doll. Need to taste you.”

Frank turned you around so that you faced his cock, and you climbed on carefully as he roughly pulled you down on his mouth. His tongue started doing unspeakable things to you and your eyes closed before they opened at the sound of another mouth slurping. You opened your eyes to see Andy licking and sucking Frank’s cock while staring at you. That powerful feeling returned and you took your nipples in your hand and teased them as you shivered on Frank’s lips and tongue.

“That’s it, Sweetheart. Ride his face.”

You obeyed and pulled your nipples harder as you watched Andy cause Frank to moan into your cunt.

“How does it taste, Andy?”

He pulled off with a pop. 

“So good.”

Andy grinned at you.

“Wanna share?”

You smiled back and leaned over to tongue kiss Andy around Frank’s cock, causing him to come up for air and smack your ass as he groaned.

“Holy Fuck, that’s good!”

You start handling Frank’s balls and he started panting into your cunt.

“Fuck!”  

He breathed and went back in for more, inserting fingers to get what he wanted.

When you came on his tongue, Frank yelled at his own release, deep down Andy’s throat. After he recovered, he grabbed your ankle and pulled you to the edge of the bed, so that your ass was almost hanging off. He got behind you, took your legs and spread them wide, holding them open for Andy, who was panting and feral, watching the scene.

“Don’t just stare, Andrew!”

Andy took his cock and lined it up, looking up to watch your face as he slid in. He sheathed himself to hilt and you keened as you felt him pounding inside you.

“Oh Andyyyyyy!”

“Fuck! You got me about to come already. So gotdamn tight. Fits like a glove.”

He looked up at Frank.

“You don’t understand how good this feels…”

“The fuck I don’t. Feels amazing. Fucking you is a close second.”

You watched as Frank leaned over and grabbed Andy by the back of the neck and kissed him

“Fuckkkk!”

You moaned as your pussy got wetter at that sight and convulsed around Andy’s cock. He looked down at you, lips wet from the kiss.

“You like that?” 

Andy hissed as he started fucking into you slowly. Frank reached down and rubbed your nipples.

“You like to see your boys together?”

“Yesssss.”

Frank pulled Andy’s hair and kissed him again.

“Fuck. So hot.”

“Squeezing me like a vice, Sweetheart.”

“Make her cum on your cock, Baby.”

Frank held you down and open for Andy.

“I know how you like to run, so be a good girl and take it.”

Andy started snapping his hips harder, watching your face as Frank talked you through it, how you bit your lip when he twisted first one nipple, then the other. Before you knew it, Andy was pounding you ferociously as Frank spoke praise in your ear.

“Good girl, taking that pounding like a fucking champ. Your our cum hungry little cumslut, arent you? How bout you cum on Andy’s cock without anybody touching your clit, Beautiful Baby Doll. Then I can clean both of you up.”

“Oh Goddddddd!” 

Your eyes rolled back in your head and you exploded around Andy’s dick. Two sets of hands held you down to take it. Andy pounded you out and groaned as Frank did the same to him.

“Fuck, can’t… hold it.” 

“Give it to us, Baby. Soak that clit for me.

Andy pulled out and fisted himself over you, literally growling as he spurted all over your cunt. Your chest heaved as you and Frank both stuck your tongues out to catch some of Andy’s spend. 

“Suck a fucking good girl for us.”

Frank sucked the remaining cum off of Andy’s softening cock and then went to town on you as Andy rolled on his back beside you.

Andy looked at you and smiled at your half lidded eyes as Frank started feasting on your sloppy pussy.

He pulled your face toward him roughly.

“Look at me when our fiancé is eating you out.” 

His deep voice rumbled through you and met Frank’s moans as he lapped you up.

You whimpered, “Yes Daddy.”

Andy fondled your tits and then wrapped his hand around your throat at the same time Frank wrapped his lips around your clit to suck. It was insane how in sync they were.

Your back bowed as Frank sucked a massive orgasm out of you, and you swore you blacked out, because the next thing you knew, you were being lifted into the shower, and lovingly washed by two sets of hands. 

“I love you Frank. Love you Andy. I love you so much.”

“Love you too Baby Doll. Love you to the moon, Sweetheart. Now just relax.”

You were exhausted, and fell into a deep sleep between your future husbands, secure in the knowledge that barring anything, you would have love and security for the rest of your life.

[schlafen-nigredo]

SAVE A HORSE RIDE A COWBOY

They say the pixive version looks different 👀

[vertigoartgore]

2009's Guardians of the Galaxy #13 textless interior art by Brad Walker.