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#andrealphus is hot for teacher
aurorasilverthorne · 1 year
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Uh oh...Andrealphus is in trouble...
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!!! Mrs. Mayberry & Marquis Andrealphus belong to Vivziepop.
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omegawizardposting · 3 months
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I love imagining my Goetic OCs watching Helluva Boss.
Sitri: Okay, first of all, why haven't I been in this shitty cartoon yet?! I'm the hottest Goetia!
Asmoday: Excuse you.
Sitri: Bitch, you heard what I said!
Stolas: What does he MEAN he wants someone to love him?! Doesn't he know how DANGEROUS that is?! The imp has the right idea! Keep it casual!
Paimon: More importantly, why am I a bird, why am I your father, and WHERE IS MY CAMEL?
Vassago: Actually, I'm a bird, too...
Sitri: A hot bird everyone ships Stolas with!
Stolas: THEY DO WHAT?!
Andrealphus: At least they don't ship you with your own sister. Anyway, I want to know where Ms. Medrano got the idea for ice magic from. I'm a geometry teacher, for goodness' sake.
Asmoday: It's because you're such an ice queen~
Andrealphus: I'm telling your husband you made another corny joke.
Asmoday: NO PLEASE HE'LL TEASE ME
Manson, technically Asmoday's great-grandson, so he invited himself: Anybody in this thread smoke weed?
Master, Asmoday's grandson, was actually invited: Is this one of those Japanese animes Joseph likes?
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eirikrjs · 7 years
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is it me, or does Goetia's Buer sound like a good guy? or at least a true neutral at that, this descriptions make him look like a intellectual in philosophy, a tea aficionado and a skilled medic. so what if he is a polite daemon? MAYBE he lacks true morality but from what i can tell from this descriptions, he seems like at least a cultured (possibly) polite dude.
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You know, there’s a lot of them that sound like they wouldn’t want toimmediately rip your throat out. That’s why I was waiting to answer this one; Iwanted to go through all 72 and pick out the Goetia Goodies (O) and theGoetia Goons (X). Let’s see, in order...
BAEL: Hoarse voice, spider legs, fussy. Sounds like a royal pain! (X)
AGARES: I doubt he can always rein in that croc. (X)
VASSAGO: One of many to tell the past and future, he can also helpyou find things you’ve lost. Just so long as you keep it clean, I guess. (O)
GAMIGIN: A horse with a hoarse voice. That’s unethical. (X)
MARBAS: Can cure diseases, but also cause them. Surely in league withBig Pharma! (X)
VALEFOR: Tempts people to steal! (X)
AMON: Spits fire, but cures controversies between friends. Can alsocause feuds? But I have a soft spot for Amon, so... (O)
BARBATOS: Lets you understand birds and dogs, opens magical chests. Whata pal! (O) 
PAIMON: The most obedient to Lucifer, definitely a Bad Boy. (X) 
BUER: And here we are at the gentle Dr. Buer. (O) 
GUSION: Depending on what a “Xenopilus” is, he’s otherwise all aboutfriendships. (O)
SITRI: One of those who makes people horny. Armed and dangerous. (X) 
BELETH: He’s got all those trumpeters. Very annoying! (X)
LERAJE: The belligerent demon Robin Hood. (X) 
ELIGOR: Knows all about wars, but doesn’t seem to be all about fightingthem. Still, will err on the side of caution here. (X) 
ZEPAR: Can make people infertile! What a dickweed. (X) 
BOTIS: Future-telling, reconciliation, but never trust a viper with asword. (X) 
BATHIN: The first of those who can teleport people. Neat, but rife forabuse (and Star Trek-style transporter accidents). (X) 
SALLOS: Another croc-rider, but specifically saying he’s peaceful. Well,I’m sold. (O) 
PURSON: Rides a bear. Despite that,the Kings are probably not to be trusted. (X)
MORAX: Thebull-man who just want to make the world a smarter place. (O)
IPOS: The UgliestDemon, but he makes people witty. A Cyrano in our midst? (O)
AIM: Apyromaniac. (X)
NABERIUS: Another teacher! (O)
GLASYA-LABOLAS:"An author of Bloodshed and Manslaughter." (X)
BUNE: Dispensesmoney. Commie! (X)
RONOVE: Themonster man who nonetheless is a rhetoric expert. (O)
BERITH: He is thePhilosopher's Stone in demon form. All that gold will crash the markets! (X)
ASTAROTH: One ofthe nastiest. Plus he has bad breath! (X)
FORNEUS: Morerhetoric and friend-making. (O)
FORAS: Can makepeople invisible. Lead us not into temptation! (X)
ASMODEUS: Need Isay more? (X)
GAAP: Makespeople ignorant. (X)
FURFUR: Anotherfickle one about summoning, can also cause thunderous storms. (X)
MARCHOSIAS:Vomits fire, but really wants to be an angel again, so perhaps would still beon his best behavior. (O)
STOLAS: All aboutthat astronomy and those herbs and precious stones. No bias here! (O)
PHENEX: A sweetsinger and poet. Another who wishes to be an angel once more. (O)
HALPHAS: Probablynice, but is also the bad kind of gun nut. (X)
MALPHAS: Can readthe minds of your enemies. As if you don't already know from their passive-aggressivetweets and comments. (X)
RAUM: Anotherdirty thief (but of rich kings, so maybe it's OK), but also destroys cities.Oh. (X)
FOCALOR: Killsand drowns people. Right to the point! Or to the bottom? (X)
VEPAR: Guideswarships, but also putrefies sores and causes worms to breed in them. Gross!(X)
SABNOCK: LikeHalphas, only for armor, but shares Vepar's vile worm-breeding-in-sores power. (X)
SHAX: The stealerof senses! (X)
VINE: Discoverswizards and witches (!), but causes rough storms on waters. Also a King. (X)
BIFRONS: Doesn'tseem so bad, but hangs out with the dead so he's probably fetid. (X)
UVALL: AnotherGoetia PUA. (X)
HAAGENTI: Morealchemy. These demons need some new hobbies! (X)
CROCELL: Candiscover baths and warm them up real nice, but also creates noises that soundlike rushing torrents, like some weirdo. Consider it ambiance, I guess. (O)
FURCAS: ThisKnight is a "cruel old man" who teaches pyromancy. We live in theuniverse where pyromancy is OP, so... (X)
BALAM: Invisibility,King, Bear. Not a good enough ratio. (X)
ALLOCES: NO MORE WARRIORSON HORSES, PLEASE (X)
CAIM: The bird-man, he lendsunderstanding of animals and the waters (!), and things to come. He answers inhot coals, so as long as he's not summoned near flammable objects Caim probablywon't give you any trouble. (O)
MURMUR: A PERFECTphilosophy teacher and mediator to the dead. Just wear earplugs for histrumpeting cohorts. (O)
OROBAS: Tells ofthe past, present, future, and of divinity and the creation of the world. Saidto be "very faithful" to the summoner. What's not to love? (O)
GREMORY:Future-telling, but another that messes with the hearts of women, if commanded.Come on occultist, just use a dating app like everyone else! (X)
OSE: Ose cantransform the summoner into "any Shape." Keep your fetishes toyourself. (X)
AMY: The flamingliberal science teacher. Like Caim, practice fire safety and you should becool. (O)
ORIAS: Anastrologer, but can also magically promote people through ranks, presumablythose undeserving of it. (X)
VAPULA: A winged,lion-headed professor of "all handicrafts and professions." (O)  
ZAGAN: The bullKing, can transmute blood into wine. Sounds a hair more effective than a winefestival. (X)
VOLAC: Tellswhere hidden treasures are and where serpents may be seen. Needs a friend,badly. (O)
ANDRAS: If youtreat him as a joke, Andras will straight up kill you; suppose he's tired ofbeing laughed at for being an owl-headed man riding a wolf. (X)
FLAUROS: Anotherparticular demon; will lie if things aren't just right, but can also burnpeople to death. (X)
ANDREALPHUS: Whowouldn't want to learn geometry from a peacock? (O)
KIMARIS: The lasthorseback warrior. Logic, rhetoric, rules spirits of Africa,etc. (O)
AMDUSIAS: Themusician of Hell, Amdusias can also bend trees to the summoner's will. That'sso weirdly specific I think I have to give it a pass. (O)
BELIAL: The KingBelial seems to be another fickle with the summoning process, requiring giftsand sacrifices, but is written to have a better demeanor than many others.Still, play with fire... (X)
DECARABIA: Theoriginal star man and ornithologist, he just wants you to understand birds! (O)
SEERE: He's likea demonic U-Haul truck, carrying things to and fro as demanded. Tells of thievery,but doesn't seem to condone it explicitly. (O)
DANTALION: Thelast great teacher of the 72, but can control people's minds. (X)
ANDROMALIUS:Perhaps the most just of all the demons, Andromalius is said to catch andpunish thieves and "discover all wickedness." There must be a lot ofinternal conflict in Hell's hierarchies, eh? (O)
So out of the 72, I have determined that 27 of them would be kind of nice. That’s not bad! But aside from the many teachers among them, Buer probably ends up with one of the best professions and demeanors, if not the best.
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Of course, all of these demons still have command over X number of demon legions, Buer with 50, so it’s probably all relative, anyway.
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