#and you're never gonna believe this
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been looking at jobs so long there's no more jobs to look at. every day now i got on the job websites and there's only like 10 new jobs between them and i can maybe maybe maybe apply for one. scrolled so long i got to the end of jobs
#had to get new job websites to add to the list#and you're never gonna believe this#they don't have jobs either#job market: garbage#emotional state: garbage#garbage: sucessfully taken out
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Mighty Nein Origins: Caduceus Clay comes out this week 🌸🍵🍄
#and you're never gonna believe who wrote it#mighty nein origins#caduceus clay#critical role#I am very proud of this book and I hope you like it#I hope it makes you cry :)
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Could you draw Buster and Fang from brawl stars? They’re my faves‼️ I‘m dressing up as one of them for Halloween! 💚 (also love the art as always, I followed for the NATM and now the gravity falls!!! My two favourites 😭💚) Much love and no pressure, I hope you’re doing great!
Never heard of them but sure
Here's the lineart too
#you can't just say you're dressing up as one of them and not say who#can you believe I colored all that with markers. why do I have so many markers#ask#not anon#brawl stars#buster brawl stars#fang brawl stars#buster#fang#fangster#thanks for liking my art. I try#also I'm having a terrible week the medicine makes everything taste bitter and I'm gonna have to remove a tooth and replace it later. 💸#art#fanart#traditional art#Halloween#they went trick or treat-ing#I always 'edit' the photos a bit to brighten up the colors but I never know how they actually look in other devices...#ok I have been informed that they're not brothers or anything and we can ship them 👍also I guessed their shipping name on my own#lineart
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Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.
HOWEVER.
It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.
People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?
Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?
And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:
HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.
Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.
And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.
You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly imo likability is not. the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.
#thessaly#wanda the sandman#hob gadling#fandom racism#I could've cried sexism!!! Problematic Male vs Female Characters except 1) I don't actually think that's the main reason *here*#2) there are WAY better examples of that particular double standard in this fandom#also i can admit when I'm a bit of a hypocrite or was.#i used to dip my toes into the dreamling stuff too early on#but idk. It just got too sour seeing ppl whitewash (lol I know I'm a comedian)#what he did over and over. And I genuinely had started to wonder#if the show hadn't included that particular crime and I'd just imagined it from the comics because#my memory is shit sometimes and I guess I was naive. I *wanted* to believe someone would talk aboutit#if it had made it in. but ultimately i went back and checked and no#and seeing how the whole fandom behaving affected my non-white mutuals some of whom...#like these are my friends man or ppl I just respect and I can't just. Ignore their feelings and their pov#and act like they werent making points or it doesn't matter#like it's all just fun and games for everyone on the same terms. And seeing how easy it was#for everyone to ignore was so unsettling. I couldn't keep pretending it was just fiction and didn't affect anyone real#Call me a bully a t3rf apologist (fuck you and for the record. no)#a puritan or a Fancop (actually stop comparing#people disagreeing with you online to what cops do. For fucks sake you just make it look like nothing is really real to you outside fandom)#whatever man. Whatever helps you sleep. I'm just gonna block you#if you're clearly sticking your fingers in your ears. engaging with you is a waste of time and energy then#Hell I have sympathy for anyone who doesn't like thessaly#especially trans fans. Especially rn. But lbr that sympathy for a lot of the white trans/queer fans only goes one way!!!#never gets extended to anyone else's issues. Like THATSthe issue. And it's shitty!#(sorry this post is not about me in the confessional lol that's why I put this at the bottom#I just had feelings to get out and yes its my blog but i didn't want to clog the airways)
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Fun facts I keep remembering randomly:
12 Leo is not only a swordsman, but he's also archer. Like this kind is able to use a bow and arrows just as well as he can use the blades he gets his hands on.
It's wild.
#oli talks#ooc#muns ramblings#mindless ramblings of a madman#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#tmnt#rottmnt#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2k12#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012#tmnt leo#Leonardo Hamato#aka YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE WHAT MADE ME REMEMBER THIS#IT WAS A FUCKING HOMESTUCK OST#MORE SPECIFICALLY INDIGO ARCHER YES I'M BEING DEADASS RB#rn#edit#FUCKING AUTOCORRECT WHY IT'S NOT EVEN THE RIGHT WORD?????
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we sang in the aeroplane over the sea tgth ☆
#27% circle line with a lovely friend of mine rail tracks screeching etc etc u know the usual. im just gonna write down memories#a few weeks ago my friend read thus spoke zarathustra by the fire to the music she was dancing it was her silhouette#against the flashlight lit up gold and royal blues and tiger's silk i tried not to fall in love with her. in bordeaux we searched#for pomegranates he sent her 300 quid by the beach she cut it open with a knife her hand covered in red we each had a taste of her work#sweet red wet the sweetest grit. too barely clothed to go into the cliffside church they painted my eyes we painted hers#8 shots of gin she screamed joyfully IT'S ALIVE! at the book she said become the child i said i feel like a monster she said i was insane#i tried to believe her. fortified wine and later a red pen crossword defiled by humidity her hair in my hands two king sized beds#pushed next to each other she took her top off she told us to watch her arms raised up the musculature on her back was precise cut from#marble we saw oceans we saw the birds take cold baths the midnight sun over a wasp-infested pool our chemicals in their bodies#gold flakes dark skin gold cross shoulders against mine drawing some form of each other on the train i didn't hesitate#to say her eyes were beautiful over and over monks at the soapshop with titanium credit cards i loved you like i loved no other#he tied his hair up and walked us into the river he held a bullet between his lips i never held his hand he said what an honour#you own too much capital your mother thinks i'm a natural i realised i haven't told my mother i loved her in years she's always been mother#never mom i'll watch you watch seaweeds this is terminal akrasia i'll feel your fingers smear perfume on my lips your girlfriend grins#bite into the straw take the shot hold my hand get it all wrong draw in the sand kiss him right stab through leather shower in chlorine#you're the determinable vicissitude is all yours we won the Game AND the Battle AND the War i'm proud of you like crazy we feed each other#saffron cliffside lovers well-fallen brothers fat cats blue windows southwest sun ALife SynBio design aXAA grow us a city in silico#we've grown to the ends of glee fire-jumper ocean-eater sure-footed lists on lists hands on eyelids не устану искать тебя#...anyway ive put my face on this blog b4 but hiii again#feel free to rb btw the rants r not personal
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New fic in progress........
#stucky#stevebucky#my writing#my wips#cass rambles#it's a fake dating modern au!!! and i haven't even gotten up to the fake dating part but i'm having a ball#i'm so excited i want to post it toDAY and have people read it and enjoy it with me#never mind that only 1/4 of it is actually written#you're all just going to have to believe me when i say it's gonna be so good in like. 3 months
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hello chat
#shaman king#shaman king flowers#goose draws#idk how to tag this. it doesn't matter. the entire target audience already goes here#black maiden is actually so fun to draw I need to draw her more...#you're never gonna believe this chat it's like they took two of my favourite designs... and smushed them together... wow unbelievable
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the way some of you clearly think bisexuals don't experience actual attraction and feelings for people, but rather decide ahead of time if they want a man or a woman this time and then just go and pick whoever comes into their line of sight next is so obvious and definitely makes me think you all don't need to speak on things you don't know about
#if you aren't bi I realllly don't want to hear you talking about us or our experiences#because it's just gonna be stereotypes or bitterness from a bi woman who upset you#I know damn well I would not get away with saying some of the shit that you guys do if it was about lesbians instead of bi women#and I don't want to#I shouldn't be able to get away with that!#but some of you absolutely are completely prejudiced and I feel like no one takes that seriously#if you use the term 'bihet' this is about you btw#gonna call out 'bi lesbians' because 'that's not how sexuality works!! you're one or the other!!' but then turn around and say it's okay as#long as it's to insult us??#doesn't add up.#so if you aren't bi go ahead and don't bother talking about bi people#you don't understand how bisexuality works#you don't understand how relationships in general work#('you could just get over your attraction to women and eventually find a man you'd be happy with so you aren't actually oppressed!')#(like okay. you could just never act on your attraction and not tell anyone. just like you want us to do. oh wait? sound familiar? yeah.)#'you could lie about your sexuality and force yourself to only date men' is not an argument you want to be making and I can't believe you#haven't pieced that together. because that exact same thing can be said about anyone
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Rules: put your music library on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for which one they like the most.
NPT: @the-real-obby, @azalea-korita, @blessed-pizza, @mysteryampharos, and @justabeewithapen + anyone wants to participate in this! Tag yourself! Have fun!
#Wasn't expecting this selection either!#Fisara you're never gonna believe it. I got Thus Always to Tyrants in my shuffle too asjdhaskfhafhakj#reblog games#sofie makes too many polls
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pg. 196 (pb), Chapter 20, Harrow the Ninth
pg. 465 (pb), Chapter 50, Harrow the Ninth
anybody else think abt how gideon's parents both really deeply value poetry and prose? nobody? just me?
#fuck off lou#my post#tlt#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#htn#john gaius#commander wake#every so often i think abt how similar wake & john are as people.#like pre-john 1:20 i think they probably would have liked each other.#omg you like poetry? //I// like poetry!!#//you// like calculated attacks on those in power to further a cause for environmental health and justice for the exploited common man??#you're never gonna believe this but--#just what john needs. another lesbian extremist for his lesbian extremist cult#au where wake is part of the pre-res gang#she's the one who keeps encouraging him to escalate escalate escalate-
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about to make yet another return to my comic posting era
#post's rambles#every few months I go off and actually make a comic with multi-paneled pages#you're never gonna believe it I'm still on my mirror world nonsense#taking a little trip to the past
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"Taryn never apologized" So close! You're actually thinking of every other character who has ever hurt Jude <3
#and like. first things first. i don't think anyone needed to apologize. apologies aren't a thing in faerie and their actions spoke louder#second off. if you're gonna ignore taryn's apologetic actions and insist she needs to verbally say sorry. why ignore it when she does#and that sorry MEANS something bc from that point on she is ride or die for jude she takes her side in everything and never betrays her#i sound like a broken record by now but this is such a sore topic for me and people keep showing up uninvited to tell me about it#and i literally jsut passed her apology in the reread so it is still fresh in my mind and i can't believe people forget about it#tfota liveblog
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post depressive episode clarity like what the fuck do you mean they'll never disappear, just fade.
#mine#tw: sh#i'll be a 30yo woman a 40yo woman a 50yo woman a 60yo woman and someday an old woman with SCARS ON MY ENTIRE LEGS?? like forever????#and i KNOW i broke through enough skin layers for these to never heal entirely like catscratches do#forever? for real? like the rest of my days? i'm never gonna have a healthy clean body like everyone else ever again?#it's THAT easy to just throw it away forever in a second?#i'm gonna be sick#what the fuck man#like both shoulders both thighs both calves entirely ruined#what the actual. fuck.#FUCK.#the awful part of the last year is over thank god#it was an episode lasting from like idk january until#august maybe#i think i'm finally feeling better#but i was really looking into legal psychiatric euthanasia there. drafting my fucking mail to the Dying With Dignity type companies#cause i went to a shrink who told me that i have bpd and while i didn't believe him#fact of the matter is that in some eu countries you're allowed to get euthanized for that. so .#but that doesn't matter i'm a bit better now i'm not thinking about it as much anymore#but it sickens me that#not only do i have to fucking take it alone#but i also have to deal with a lifetime of ridicule disgust “turn off” and pity afterwards#my own best friend told me to make sure to cover up when we slept at a relative's#and i felt it was ridiculous that anyone could even judge me negatively based on the scars when it's me who had to deal with this shit#not them!! and clearly it wasn't fucking easy!!! like if anyone it's not you who's getting hurt from this!!!!!!#i asked her whether she would ever be thrown off by seeing healed scars#and in the coldest tone she replied 'No but I would not know how to explain that to my kids.'#the relatives did not. in fact. have kids.
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Ok so today I found out Nanbaka ended some time ago so I spoiled myself and man, the ending was so rushed and angst for no reason and overall disappointing??? The author threw very important lore info and a plot twist that felt all out of the blue near the ending... I love angst but when it is well written, and this was not. Their friendship was real, even if prior to the series start wasn't I know what I read was real friendship and this ending ruins for me one of the main themes of this show.
I don't post a lot about this series because I started it before I even had Tumblr but Nanbaka was everything to me back then. Even after I was forced to move on because the english translation stopped and finding all chapters fan translated was very difficult I'd find myself thinking about these characters sometimes and I almost dare to say that it was a comfort series. Not being able to keep reading it without going through a Odyssey was already upsetting but the ending? What in the actual fuck is that. Is not even the fact it was a sad ending what bothers me the most, it's that it was sad and felt bad written or without proper building 🙁
This literally summaries my opinion regarding what happened to the main group:
Now I feel bad? Bad like when you receive bad news irl? Like I've received a punch in the stomach or a betrayal from a dear old friend
If spy x family or yuu & grim (including all of their friends in twst) separate in the end I'm losing all hope of being happy and relaxing with this trope without fearing the chance of getting backstabbed again forever
God please let them stick together or I'm going to make you the same thing you have done with me
#♡ — shut up noko#sorry I needed to vent#endings like that get my trust issues acting up /srs#how are you gonna enjoy a lighthearted family found series if you can't lower your guard bc you're afraid this will happen??#on top of that it was all the time a comedy gag slice of manga except for some action and blood here and there#and then they really decided to struck me with a bitter ending. Hurt/comfort without the comfort. all misery#and it feels so rushed and unnecessary and unnatural and too vague for an ending????#I wish I could unlearn it and keep believing they all live happily together in prison#because reality is already disappointing and mid-ish as it is. no need for more of that in fiction thanks#never thought it could happen to Nanbaka something worse than not getting a continuation of the anime#or being difficult to almost impossible to find chapters for non Japanese fans. Or being criminally underrated and forgotten for most peopl#but Murphy's law strikes again. There's always another level in the misery basement that is being fan of this series#sorry I don't handle well series I hold dearly having endings that I dislike or being cancelled#I was still recovering from Inside Job being cancelled so Netflix could give B*g f Mouth another season and now this#why God likes to ruin my day so much#nanbaka
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🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹
#so i have an appt. to the psychiatric department for personality disorders tmrw...#and like i tried sending a self referral to them last year lmao#and they only said that heyyy you're doing amazing sweetie you are high functioning 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻#then i've ben to the health care center and since they think they cant treat me bc it's too severe they've sent referrals to other places#which have all declined me... so they also sent one to the psychiatric who sent a referral to this pd department#who that time also said that they can't accept me#so the therapist at the health care center like idk exactly but she sent a report on how they didnt handl my case properly#which made them call on me for an evalutation appt.#but i have 0 hopes. i honestly think the entire psych care is fucking lame and bullshit#i highly doubt they're even equipped to treat personality disorders#& even if they are theire budgetis getting cut bc ppl love having rightists ruling the government .... which means no funds for healthcare#anyway. PLUS it's a man.... -_- which reducuses my chances of being taken seriously even more...#i also hate talking to male therapists/psychiatrists... no fucking thanks. but i have to </3#i just really dont wanna go. like im gonna have to put energy into trying to argue for my right for treatment. w ppl who should inferstand#UNDERSTAND* i hate typing on my ipad ffs. they should understand my personality disorders..#bit health care proffessionals are horrible ppl and dont give a fuck abt their patients lol. so they're only condescending and rude 🤢🤮#i hate being in these environments bc everyone treats u like shit. the receptionists are so fkn rude and almost outright mean and insulting#the doctors and therapists and psychiatrists are all bullies who look down on u and make u feel small and worthless#so im really dreading it... but im also at my wit's end. i am missing out on my entire life. im desperate for help#even if i wholeheartedly believe that these worthless wastes of space wont give me any treatment i'll still need to go and try#then ig i'll just have to keep pestering the healthcare system. i might wventually even have to start going to the psych. ER so they put#that on my records and like idk. that costs money tho. plus from everyone i've heard from...#being at a psych ER esp when your situation isnt dire is awful and hell#my cousin who had been ther after a sui attempt had said that it 'scared him straight'#and that it was so terrible that he did everything to get back home as soon as possible and do whatever to never end up there again#so yuh... i'd rather not!#i was supposed to (my own decision) to write a list with ALL my symptoms and bring and be like LOOK MONGREL!!!#but since i suffer from avpd...... i havent. i procrastinated and now it's too late whoopsie. i'll just have to wing it fuckkkk 🥴#ofc it also has to be 8.45 .. so early in the morning for me im so mad ahhhhh i dont wanna go i am throwing up and screaming#but atp i'd have to pay $35 myself for not going so that will motivate me enough to force myself to go
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